siena-sevenwits · 7 months ago
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I am so excited for the 10 PM vigil tonight, you don't even understand.
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talesfrommedinastation · 8 months ago
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My Redneck Neighbor Doug has watched The Bad Batch Season 3 opener:
LEEEEET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!
This is more pithy than normal: Doug's been busy with work, as have I. But I'm determined to hear his thoughts on The Daddy Warcrimes 'n Company so here we go!
These were all via text messages, btw.
CW: Doug Doug's as you know Doug will do. Away!
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Episode 1: 'Little Orphan Blondie's Shit Internship at The Museum of Science and Industry'
Poor Little Orphan Blondie, stuck in The Museum of Science and Industry in a shit summer job because they got bills to pay. Except they got rid of the dinosaurs and walk in heart and filled it with gross shit.
Hey look, they still got the coal mine exhibit! Man I miss Chicago.
(Doug, that museum has never had dinosaurs. “What, since when?”)
MUTANT JIMMERS EVERYWHERE! Aw, Little Orphan Blondie gave one her chicken nuggets! And it’s shy, aw, I hope it’s okay.
Poor Mutant Jimmers…she named her?! Swear to Christ Almighty if that dog gets Old Yeller’d I’ll just lose it. 
That freaky alien thing that ran the mall on the ocean looks sad, I bet she wishes she fell into the water and got eaten by a shark or something. I wish you did too, lady. 
The Sons of Robocop really are everywhere, they must be a cult or something. They look cool, I’d join, why not. Think they get 401ks?
Oh man, Daddy Warcrimes is down bad. Poor Daddy Warcrimes. Man, all my clone boys are stooped and sad…this ain’t good. 
At least Little Orphan Blondie can craft! Man, she should start selling those at the Museum of Science and Industry’s gift shop. Maybe Tarkin can bring one back for the grandchildren he’s not allowed to talk to since the restraining order was put in.
Oh, there’s Stepsister Beth, she seems on edge. Must’ve gotten divorced recently, don’t blame her ex, I bet she screamed at him for leaving cabinets open who knows. How do her eyeballs not hurt after wearing those dumb glasses all day?
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Episode 2: 'Night Elves and Neverland Ranch'
The night elves from Warcraft invaded Star Wars and got horns or something and now they have a castle that looks like a boss level in Diablo IV or V or how many Diablo games they got now.
Now they yelling at people and throwing them in the basement today. Makes sense, gotta fight the orcs and stuff. Think they fight the orcs in the basement?
The Night Elf Horned Queen hired Daddy Rambo and Julio to get people, I guess they’re turning into Boba Fett or something. They got her son's horn back, guess that's good. Oh they need new paint jobs on their armor.
Do they end up in the basement in the Diablo Boss Level? No? And off they go! 
Daddy Rambo and Julio are in their homeland of FLORIDA! Hell yeah, SPACE FLORIDA! And they’re bringing the talking trashcan with them using straps! Go Julio go!  Yeah, boa vines, this is TOTALLY the Everglades! 
Escaped clone boys! Oh man! Shit, is Neverland Ranch in the jungle? Oh man–oh, they know what they’re doing. Good kids. Real good kids. Oh what happened to the rest of them? Oh Meat Muffin, this ain't good :(.
You know what? Them clone boys are smart, take it back, this ain’t Space Florida, this is Space Louisiana! Them baby boys gone get feral and run off into the bayou and live in the caves and now you know my origin story, Meat Muffin! 
If this was Florida they'd just end up working the late shift at Zaxby's and smoking rocks in the parking lot. We know better, we French and all.
I bet they’ve been living on nutria and half-empty chicken boxes from behind the gas stations. Resourceful scrappy kids and I can tell its making Daddy Rambo proud.
Oh holy SHIT, there go them vines! It's like the kudzu all over again, maybe this is LaFourche Parish?
See, them boys are definitely white trash, Mandalorian rednecks. Look at em, living in the woods and hijacking a plane, but they good kids, saving their brothers. Even saved the robot too. 
Man, all the feels, them poor little boys. What will they do now?  Oh, they're going to Space Daytona! Good, wait, I saw the trailer, doesn't the Empire invade it? THIS AIN'T GOOD MEAT MUFFIN!!!
Wait...where's Toaster Strudel and Rex?
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Episode 3: 'Blondie Got a Gun'
Well here's the Emperor. He wants to be immortal. Gotta make that other movie make sense or something.
Where's Darth Vader? Is he running the government when the Emperor is running around giggling?
Don’t you DARE kill Mutant Jimmers, you damn droid. I hate that ugly assed stupid thing. It looks like its scarecrow daddy fucked a microwave and then left it enough money to go to Planned Parenthood but instead spent it on crack and there ya go.  
Oh shut your goddamned yap, Jimmy the Scientist. I bet he gloves that hand up because he keeps shoving it up his own ass and that's why he walks funny all the damn time.
The Emperor also has a Diablo IV or VIII boss level all to himself too at the Museum of Science and Industry. How many Diablo games are there, Meat Muffin?
YEAH, LITTLE ORPHAN BLONDIE! GIT ER DONE!!! They're out! Oh wow! There she goes with Daddy Warcrimes! Kill em all and let GOD SORT THEM OUT! That's my GIRL!!!!
Blondie’s got a gun 
Blondie’s got a gun
Her whole world's come undone
Shooting droids is FUN!
GO MUTANT JIMMERS GO!!!! 
YEAH BLONDIE DADDY WARCRIMES AND MUTANT JIMMERS!!!!!!
I AIN'T A BULLS FAN BUT REPEAT THE THREE PEAT! YEAH!!!!!!
....so when we gonna get Toaster Strudel and Rex? Next one? Where's my reg boys?!
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Tagging those who missed my Cajun neighbor. LOOKS LIKE REDNECK DOUG IS BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!
@skellymom @amalthiaph @eyecandyeoz @cdblake1565 @sued134 @merkitty49 @supremechancellorrex @yeehawgeek @wrenkenstein @techs-stitches @deezlees @autistic-artistech @perfectlywingedcrusade @auntie-venom @megmca @thecoffeelorian
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snakegorl212006 · 1 year ago
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The “Little Things they” do(Diasomnia)
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You thought it’ll be fine.stay a night or two in Diasomnia hoping nothing much will happen. Maybe you did expect a chase or some creepy interaction. To be honest this is more than you bargained for
“Guys I’m leaving” I shouted as I began to walk to the front door. When I tried the handles BOOM lightning struck in front of the building as it began to storm on an odd sunny evening “oh a shame. To think we had such clear skys” lilia spoke from the stairwell “Well we can’t have you soaked out there so how about you stay for a bit hmm… just until the rain clears” Lilia suggested. Seeing as i almost got struck by lightning, i agree which made the ghost grin “Splendid. Gather everyone, we’re all going to have one last brunch before you leave, ok” lilia ordered so i did. Silver and Sebek were in the indoor training room and Malleus was in the library.Brunch was ready after everyone had gathered in the dining room. The food was some sandwiches which look surprisingly edible,this is coming from lilia after all. “You’ve been here for some time even I wasn't expecting you’ll last so long” Lilia spoke “tell me do you enjoy our company” He ask “well…When you guys are not threatening my life i say you guys are ok in my book” I replied honestly. “Oh we couldn't just kill you prematurely. Not with that necklace on” lilia spoke as he points to the gem on my neck “I see no need for it. I would say just throw it away” sebek huffed “Well I don’t want an attachment so I’m keeping it on” i replied.thunder grew louder “but why not? Surely you think being a ghost is that bad” lilia asked “think about it. We can all be together like the old days” he smiled trying to cut through the tension “but I like being alive and i don’t want to be here forever forever” i replied “I see… well it can’t be helped but i still would say better now than ever” Lilia replied as he sneaked a glance at malleus…I felt something sharp prickling my ankles, that light scratch seems to cause me to be severely drowsy. I tried to form my words yet nothing came out. My vision blurred and the last thing I saw was a sinister smile.
------------------Lilia------------------------ “Who knew, this task is more devious then i anticipated” Lilia spoke. My eyes fluttered open only to feel constricted “oh your awake” Lilia spoke “I would be more surprise you wake up from malleus’s sleeping spell but then again….I did get a little excited and might’ve kissed your lips” Lilia laughed “don’t worry i did nothing else…well yet” he adds as he hops on the bed “I do hope you find these chains comfortable, i would say these are far better then the leather ones i found” Lilia smiles as he presents the heavy locket “let me go. This isn't funny” I spoke, giving him a glare which only made him laugh “Ah~there’s the fire I remember. Now why would I let you go only for you to escape. Your pretty words won’t cloud my judgment this time” Lilia said as he wagged his finger at me “there should be some spell which can remove that amulet. Once that happens it’ll only take 7 days to establish the attachment then the true ritual can begin” he beams as he gently cups my face. His love sick eyes he cast down at me oh so lovingly. Those eyes filled with insanity. “1,000 years…1,000 years I’ve waited and longed for your return. I waited and watched you parish. Over and over again. But now we can forget that and begin a new life here together, all of us” Lilia smiled as he caressed my cheek with his thumb. “I know this may hurt our trust but it is all in good faith my dear” he spoke as he kissed my forehead. He removes himself from my face and slides off the bed “I’ll be back to bring you dinner. You must be hungry, you were sleeping for such a long time” Lilia spoke before leaving the room. I need to get out. When I moved I felt an uncomfortable feeling in my skin. In my ankle there was a large thorn which was lightly embedded in my skin. This thorn must’ve stuck on me when I fainted. I twisted my body and plucked the thorn from me. I quietly slid off the bed with the thorn in hand and began picking the lock. Once I heard that click, the chains I had on quickly slid off so I stood up away from the chain and quickly left the room.
Lilia sighs in bitter disappointment as he glances at the now empty room “why must you reject our devotion” he mumbled “is there something wrong father” silver spoke holding the food behind him “they have escaped” lilia said as he opened the door much to silver’s shock “I’ll search immediately” Silver spoke hastily as he practically shoves the the trey into lilia’s arms then running off. Despite the situation Lilia can’t help but smile. He calmly placed down the trey on the stand,then he reached from underneath the bed to reveal a large casing.inside was a large green,gemlike cleaver covered in silver thorns “it seems I have to force my hand.” he mumbles as he takes the clever out. He exits the room and begins his search “You will submit dear… One way or another”
------------Sebek----------------------------------- “YOUR HIGHNESS WHERE HAVE YOU GONE TOO” sebek shouts as i creeped around. “Where are they?” he mumbles as he paces back and forth. “YOUR HIGHNESS RETURN AT ONCE. IF SO OUR LORD WOULD FORGIVE THIS TRANCEGRESSION” he shouts as he stomps off. Once I heard the close was clear I exited the room and sneaked past. The stairs are just around the corner. When i was about to reach the stairs, i was stopped by a sword “There you are” sebek spoke as i stepped back “I wish not to lay harm to you but I will if it means the ritual will be complete” Sebek spoke “why, why do you care so much” I asked sounding irritated “I’ve waited for decades for this moment. Waited for you to be saved. Can’t you tell you’re being brainwashed ” sebek spoke sternly “now you Will go back to your chambers until our master can free you from those shackles the crow put on you” sebek commanded “you lost me at returning. I’m leaving” i spoke as I continued to step away,then I sprinted away “YOU HIGHNESS COME BACK” Sebek shouted as he followed. I managed to loop around and lose sebek by hiding in rooms again. I finally reached the stairs. I ran to the front door only to realize it’s locked, i tried unlocking it but it was stuck. My necklace started vibrating, alerting me of someone coming near, so i ran to the back door.
--------Silver---------------------------------- The back was open allowing me to escape through the forest. It was dark out,not even the moon shines. My lungs burn and my legs feel tender causing me to collapse as the adrenaline disappears. Then I heard a twig snap. I whipped my head around to see silver “look I don’t want to hear it. Let me leave in peace then perhaps i could forgive yall” I bargained“i can’t do that” silver spoke sadly “then why are you here” I asked “to help you” he replied as he walked closer “well you’re not helping at all” I huffed “I am. We all are. We’re going to set you free. Make things right” silver explains as he creeps closer “please you’re not in your right mind but malleus can help you if you can just trust us” Silver pleads “no no no no. You. All of you are trying to end my life and make me live here for eternity” I replied as i got up “You don’t understand.” Silver said “then what am i not getting” I asked “We want to get your memories back, We want to end your suffering. I want to make amends, but you have to trust us. This is the only way” Silver explains but i shook my head “You can’t leave. Not again, I won’t let you” Silver spoke more sternly. He rushed forward causing me to fall back but before he could reach me, a barrier was made which bounced him back. Whatever this was, it weakened him, i could tell as he was a bit faded. While Silver was stunned I ran off and made my way to the front.
----------------Malleus--------------------
I ran and kept running until I reached a familiar woods. Relief washed over me as I came closer to the main house. Then I tripped. I ignored this and tried to get up only feeling a tug on my leg, vines wrapped around tightly on my ankle and slowly climb up to my calf “y/n” a familiar voice spoke echoing my name though the dark woods, “Malleus I already left, just let me leave” I pleaded as i tried to get the vines off of me. He laughed, more like a low chuckle. He revealed himself from behind a tree “leave? You’re forbidden to. Our souls are bound for centuries. You can never leave my side” Malleus stated as he drew closer “for far too long, I’ve seen you ripped away from my grasp time and time again. What in your fragile mind do you think I’ll let this opportunity pass” he adds as he grins “you’ll be mine, finally mine. We can be together once more, by my side, ruling this land from the shadows” he list as his eyes filled with bliss “this can only happen if you are free. We can correct his mistakes. This curse will be lifted and we can be together like before” he adds “No, I’m not going through with that” I stated firmly. His eyes blanked almost perplexed by my words then he laughed. Booming with roaring laughter as he clutched his stomach “do you really think you have a say in this. Perhaps that raven has rotted your mind” he teased “you look exhausted my love, perhaps a nice long slumber should clear your mind” malleus smiles as more vines sprout from every corner. Each vine wrapped around my body. I felt a prick on my finger causing that drowsy feeling. My body felt weak and limb as the vines disappeared. I was in his arms as he hummed a lullaby, finally putting me to sleep.
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wtfwhy · 11 months ago
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HOW I WOULD REWRITE THE TEEN WOLF MOVIE
First of all its a slice of life comedy 
No villain just normal problems, but maybe background Monroe issues
Each character has a running gag or a funny arc 
Scott:
Runs his own veterinary business but accidentally placed his building in a place with primary cat people. He can not treat cats because they go crazy around him (he tells the humans he's allergic to cats). So the whole movie is him talking to real estate agents about buying a new building and selling his current one. The process is painfully slow. (but the new place is in beacon hills were this all takes place)
Kira: 
Is still not in the movie but a bit after 6b she came back from the skinwalkers and she and scott get married. During the movie she's actually having a girls weekend with the skinwalkers because they became good friends 
Lydia:
She and Stiles have twins (like 10 years old or something) and a newborn baby. Stiles convinces Lydia to take a break cause she's so stressed and to go visit their friends (so thats why shes in bh) during the movie she'll be having a conversation interrupts by taking a phone call. Its the twins' school. She is the leader of the PTA. This happens multiple times throughout the movie. (minor detail of her being super successful, getting that feilds medal, and being like the second Stephen Hawkins basically)
Stiles: 
Is at home taking care of the newborn, we cant hear his voice but Lydia talks to him on the phone.
Jackson:
Is just constantly hanging out with lydia the entire movie, her sidekick, her goon
Malia: 
Life way more put together than in the real movie. She works as like a camp ranger nature person or whatever, has weekly dinner with Mr. Tate, and is overall living her best life. Shes currently single but like every guy her age in beacon hills is trying to get with her. Shes also internet famous. She has simps. She lives in beacon hills but has traveled to a few different countries, including france 
Parish:
Is no longer a cop because he found his true calling in modeling 
Sheriff:
Retired and tired. Lydia is staying with him during her visit. He's just really happy about being a grandfather
Derek:
Same basically, a cool dad, so similar to tyler heclens (idk sp) portrayal of clark kent that a joke about that is made
The scene where he talks to coach is there so that coach can not recognize him and then derek is like "oh sorry, how about now?" (he walked into the corner of the room, clenched his fists at his side, and started glaring like he was about to kill someone) and coach is like omg yeah i remember you, hows it been? 
Also he is married to braeden and she is elis step mom
ALSO he has 11 kids including eli, he is tom baker cheaper by the dozen.
Eli: 
Stiles' biggest fan, just like that one post✊ (i saw a post about that being why hes like stiles and it annoying derek and its one of the funniest things ever, i dont remeber the poster sorry) calls all of the original pack uncle or aunt. He and Malia besties. His arc is he has a boyfriend or girlfriend and is trying desperately for no one to find out because they all babysitted him and are notorious for telling embarassing baby stories to his friends and previous partners. He's the oldest sibling.
Chris:
Literally just chilling, planning a tropical vacation, is married to Melissa 
Melissa:
Still works at hospital, overly mushy with chris, especially in front of peter 
Peter: 
Same as usual but 10x more dramatic. Lives on Melissa's coach. Theres a few random times in the movie hes being interviewed like hes in the office. He's the only one that this happens with.
Issac:
Only speaks in french, but there are subtitles for the audience. Only speaks English to Chris even though Chris knows french. Malia and him are friends from when she visited france.
Liam:
Professional lacrosse player, is in the lacrosse nfl (i have no idea if thats a thing) hangs out with mason and on his off time he leads an anger management class
Mason: 
Politician, the only thing stopping him from being president is his age. Corey uses his powers to steal incriminating evidence against masons evil political opponents. They are married. 
Theo:
He's a trailer life vlogger, very successful online. Regularly hits up scott and liam for no particular reason (its because hes lonely) its never mentioned but there's a brief shot of his trailer and on one of the walls there's a picture of the pack with a picture of theo tapped to it. And/or just a picture of stiles* Bonus points for hearts. 
He goes to liams class as a demonstration on how not to beat someone up when you're angry (liam and theo usually end up fighting anyway)
Allison: 
Either not in it or inexplicably alive. No mention as of how or why or when she came back. At one point there is a very clear reference to her death so the audience knows it wasn't reconned or something 
OR ( my sister's idea) Chris Ouija boards her every friday night and they chat
Deaton: 
Just doing completely unrelated shady shit, which all ends up being something super anti-climatic 
This is my vision
*to clarify, i dont ship them, its just that how obsessed theo was with void stiles lives rent free in my head
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paperclipninja · 1 year ago
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Ok, we know that deliberate choices and references are made in Good Omens, often hinting at what's to come, and I'm sure this has been picked up by someone before but it wasn't for me until now and well, MIND BLOWN.
Just rewatching s2e4 and the opening sequence when Shax pops into the Bentley to remind us all that Aziraphale really is a very bad liar sometimes ('I don't even know a Gabriel!' straight after, ''Gabriel would never go to Crowley!' lol, but I digress...) and yes we get the seed planted that there have been rumours of Aziraphale and Crowley being an item since, oh roughly 1941, but before all that, Aziraphale asks Bentley for some music, 'something modern, but not bebop'. So Bentley obligingly plays 'Moonlight Serenede' by the Glen Miller Orchestra.
The song was recorded in 1939 and was top of the charts and that recording was released by the U.S War Department as Army Theme Song in 1943 (also released as by Navy and Marine Corp) and was re-recorded in 1944 by Glen Miller and the American Band of the Allied Expeditionary Forces - needless to say, it was a very significant wartime tune, so the fact Bentley chooses it is a wonderful nod to the minisode that's about to unfold, set smack bang in the middle of that time. Aziraphale's delight at the choice too, 'oh, perfect', helps reinforce the significance of the flashbacks to WWII in s1 and in this episode.
But that's not all folks. I think it's safe to say that Aziraphale and Crowley's experiences during this period (that we've seen so far -the Blitz and Nazi zombies) seem to coincide with pretty significant moment(s) in their relationship, moments that indicate a shift they are both aware of. So it got me thinking about that song choice at the very start of the episode again. It makes sense that we get a tune that indicates what's to come but also, knowing how layered and clever this show is, what if there's more to it? Spoiler alert: there is!
Turns out, lyricist Mitchell Parish was asked to write lyrics to 'Moonlight Serenade' in 1939, but Glen Miller decided to record it as an instrumental track and it wasn't until 1959 that a version with the lyrics was recorded and became popular. And do you know what the lyrics are about? Friends, this is what they are about:
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Look, it could be just me, but WHAT?!!! Are you kidding me?! I mean, it's sublime.
So here's the thing. This could be a nod to the evening we see Crowley and Aziraphale sharing after the magical switcharoo OR, there has been much speculation about a third wartime flashback minisode in season 3 that will provide even more insight into what exactly happened between these two during that time. Either way, it just blows my mind how intentional it all is, how thoughtful. And whether it was a reference to the beautiful shades of grey scene in ep 4 or planting a seed for what's yet to come*, all I can hear right now is - TWO LOVERS. 'nough said.
*can you IMAGINE Crowley seducing Aziraphale with a song or vice versa *dead*
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kseniaallis · 2 years ago
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I just watched tw movie trailer, and it says a lot about my “excitement” that I just watched it. And of course I knew what’s happening because… fandom. But looking at it with my own eyes, book writing experience and participation in teen wolf fandom since I was 14, it just doesn’t make any sense.
I understand why they use Nogitsune as a main villain for the movie - it’s the most popular, loved, if you can say that, plot line of the entire show. Because if you ask fandom “what is your favourite season?” most of them will answer 3b.
What I don’t understand is how they’ll use this storyline without two major characters - Stiles and Kira. The whole reason why Nogitsune appeared in the Beacon Hills was Kira’s family history. And the reason why Nogitsune is so popular - DOB acting. Because I swear to God, if it wasn’t for him, it wouldn’t be just as enjoyable.
I won’t start on Derek’s son that suddenly appeared out of nowhere, that Derek purposefully raised in the town that gave him, his family, friends so many traumas? Make it make sense.
I won’t judge Hikari because I don’t know her plot line, but what I hate and what is heavily implied is that the part of her story is being the love interest. Why won’t you let female character just be in the story, without making them important just because they are someone’s love interest. It's 2023, not 2014 (but we stayed there, ig, and made it worse). And I still don’t like how her being kitsune sounds a lot like Kira’s replacement.
And I hope, hope that even if they pursue Liam and Hikari, please, please don’t let it happen with such a big age difference.
I also have no idea how having a romance with a character that appears just in the movie is a good idea. In all honesty, I don’t give a f about this character because I don’t know her and having this character have a romance with a beloved fandom character just for one movie is ridiculous. Especially, after setting up the whole Thiam heavily implied story line. Because, you see, the only reason why anyone even talk about the movie is fandom. And fandom loves when things they love at least appear, give them breadcrumbs and they’ll be happy. We are not picky.
Mason being a deputy? Okay, perfect. The boy was smart as hell and could go miles away from Beacon Hills to learn science, but no-no. He could have been emissary to the pack and it would work perfectly, but still it’s a no for them.
Malia and Parish's situation is so confusing, like even Lydia and Parish made more sense (age difference is still bad here). And they just decided recycling her relationship with Scott for the sake of Allison's return?
And why does she? Her arc was complete in such a perfect way. It was sad, but it was perfect. It brought reason for the pack to keep fighting, taught them lesson that they weren’t invincible. Bringing her back makes it all go in flames. She died young, saving her friends and it was beautiful in the way, because it brought the whole new meaning to her arc. But no, let’s bring her back and make Argent’s life even more tragic and painful. Let the poor man rest.
And I hope they didn’t kill Theo’s character off screen. But maybe him not being in the movie is a good thing. They can’t fuck up his character after completing his arc perfectly in the tv-show (still surprising, tbh, but I LOVE how they made it).
I remember founding out about the movie. How exciting it felt because I just returned to the fandom, reading all these thiam fics (because fandom recommendations on Tumblr made me, and I was never more grateful to learn about Theo character from the perceptive I have now as an adult. I hated him when I was young and now he is one of my favourites). It felt exciting because it had meaning. And we had hope for it to be at least a decent thing. A continuation of the story that made sense. But now they ruined almost half of the characters and removed the other half for the sake of two hours (how long is it exactly?) movie we won’t even watch.
At this point, I just wait for fix-it fics on ao3 that’ll make more sense than the plot jd came up with his writers.
Thanks for listening to my TED Talk.
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firstelevens · 2 months ago
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11 from the fanfic situations prompt list for sambucky maybe?
we now return to our regularly scheduled programming of extremely specific AU concepts spun wildly out of hand
11. hiding from pursuers
"Hey, I'm gonna go take a look at the truck; it's been making a weird–"
Out of the corner of his eye, Bucky sees a door open and then a hand clamps over his mouth and cuts him off before he’s pulled into a dark, small space. As the door clicks shut behind him, Bucky finds himself bodied up against what feels like shelves, with a very warm someone pressed to his front.
The hand moves away from his mouth and the smell of their detergent lets him know that they’re in the upstairs linen closet.
“Honey,” he says, as soon as he can talk, “I know you find the mechanic thing hot, but we can’t have a quickie in here; neither one of us is as limber as we used to be and that door does not lock.”
It’s dark, but he can still feel the unimpressed look that Sam is giving him.
“What?” he asks. “Don’t pretend you didn’t think about it.”
“Some of us have better things to do,” hisses Sam.
“Like drag our husbands into dark closets when they’re just trying to be good communicators?”
Sam shushes him and puts a finger against Bucky’s lips this time for emphasis. Bucky can’t help but kiss it, and in the tiny sliver of light coming through the door, he sees Sam smile. 
“We’re playing hide and seek,” Sam whispers.
“And you chose to hide here?” asks Bucky. “Freddie’s gonna find you in like, ten seconds. She’s never done anything slow in her life and you picked the easiest hiding spot.”
But Sam shakes his head. “Freddie’s not the seeker.”
Bucky’s eyes go wide. “And you’re telling me you pulled me in here when I could be filming this?”
“You were gonna give me away!”
“Unbelievable,” Bucky hisses.
He’s sure that Sam has a comeback ready, but then they hear the sound of tiny footsteps headed their way and they simultaneously shush each other.
“Dada?” comes a tiny voice, getting closer. “Dada, you here?”
There’s a quiet gasp from just outside, and Bucky’s sure that the door is about to open, but then there’s the soft thump of a very tiny someone sitting down, and the rustling of fabric that must be from the laundry basket that Bucky left by the closet.
“What’s he doing?” whispers Sam, trying to peer through the slats in the door.
“I just pulled a bunch of laundry out of the dryer,” murmurs Bucky. “And Woof was there, too, after his little adventure at the park.”
Woof is a plush wolf toy who’s constantly getting dragged into predicaments that threaten to permanently alter his gray and white fur. Sam and Bucky have gotten countless stain removal tips from every parent in the parish, and so far they’ve all worked, but Bucky is convinced that one of these days, there’s going to be a grape juice incident that they just can’t come back from.
After a particularly bad dive into a puddle at the park, Woof had needed two days of stain removal, and bedtime had been a full on nightmare because of it. It’s no surprise that a reunion would so completely sidetrack an otherwise very cute game.
There’s a full conversation with Woof happening right outside the door, and Bucky turns his glare on Sam. “When your mom asks why she didn’t get to see this, I’m going to make it very clear that it’s because you were scared a two year old would find your hiding place!”
“Please, you know he’s gonna do like twenty more adorable things between now and dinner.”
“You think we’ll be out of here by dinner?” hisses Bucky, and gets his answer not from Sam, but from the door at the end of the hallway.
“Riley,” says an exasperated Freddie, with all the patience that an eight year old can muster. “We were playing hide and seek, remember?”
“Look, Freddie!” calls Riley, although he hasn’t quite mastered the F sound, so it comes out a lot closer to Weddie. “Woof!”
“Yeah, that’s Woof,” says Freddie. “Maybe Woof can help us find Daddy.”
Riley gasps. “Dada?”
“Uh-huh,” Freddie says. “Dada’s hiding, remember? I bet he’s pretty close.”
They can’t see a whole lot through the slats, but it’s impossible to miss the knowing look that Freddie throws towards the linen closet.
“Atta girl, Freddie,” whispers Bucky, and promptly has his mouth covered again. That’s fair. Given the sigh that Freddie lets out, he might not have been as quiet as he thought he was.
“I know you want to play with Woof, Riley, but we gotta find Daddy first. If we don’t he might think we forgot him, and then he’ll be sad.”
“Dada sad?”
“He will be if we don’t find him.”
This seems to move Riley, because he gets up again—as he does, Woof collides with what Bucky can only assume is the bookshelf—and walks right past the closet as he calls out for Sam again.
There’s a sigh from Freddie as she follows him down the hallway with another significant look at the linen closet. “Okay, Riley, let’s check their room again.”
Riley’s giggles carry down the hallway, and Sam drops his head to rest in the crook of Bucky’s neck.
“We did a pretty good job, huh?” he asks quietly.
“We did,” whispers Bucky, his hand settling at the small of Sam’s back. “Now if she could just stay a third grader forever, because I’ve seen her ride her bike, and I am not ready for her to be behind the wheel anytime soon.”
Sam laughs out loud at that, apparently forgetting the entire reason that they’re here, and instantly, they hear Riley’s faraway voice excitedly call out, “Dada!”
He hurries down the hall, Freddie behind him reminding him to slow down, and this time when he comes to a stop in front of the closet, he’s facing the doors.
“Dada?” he asks again.
“Uh, nope!” Sam replies, in a high pitched voice, as silly as he can make it. “No Dadas here! None at all!”
The door opens, bright sunlight filtering in, and a giggling Riley calls out, “Dada! Papa!”
He hugs them both around the legs, and Sam is immediately hauling Riley up in his arms. “You found us, Bug! Good job!”
Beside them, Freddie gives Bucky a knowing look, and Bucky winks at her.
Sam kisses Riley on the head, then does the same for Woof when he’s presented. “You took a little detour to find Woof, huh?”
“Uh-huh,” says Riley, clutching Woof close. “With Freddie.”
“Freddie’s a really good big sister, huh, rybka?” asks Bucky.
Riley nods vigorously, and Freddie smiles proudly. “Thank you, Riley,” she says. “You’re a good baby brother.”
“Not a baby!” declares Riley, his eyebrows immediately settling into the same scowl that every grouchy Barnes has worn over the years.
In response, Freddie lets out a sigh that is pure teenager, giving her dads the most exasperated look in the world. Before she can start arguing—a gift she inherited in equal measure from both Sam and Bucky, and has honed on her own from the minute she learned the word no—Bucky steps out of the linen closet, holding his hand out to her.
“Come on, Honeybee; let’s go make some lunch.”
For a moment, Freddie narrows her eyes, and Bucky can see the calculations happening in her head. Beside them, Riley is pouting while Sam very gently explains that Freddie just meant she was bigger than him, and that’s okay.
There’s a long moment where she’s quiet before she sighs again and turns to face Riley one more time. “I’m sorry, Bug. I didn’t mean it.”
Riley takes some coaxing from Sam before he tells her that it’s okay, and Freddie looks more than a little frustrated. It’s been a long time since Sam and Bucky needed to speak to coordinate strategies with each other, and with one look, Sam turns and takes Riley down the hallway while Bucky kneels down in front of Freddie.
“Thank you for being so patient,” he tells her in Russian, because it’s always delighted her to have a secret language for just the two of them. “I know it’s not easy.”
“It’s okay, Papa,” she says, then switches back to English. “Do we have bagels?”
Bucky thinks about it for a second. “I think we’ve got some in the freezer from Aunt Becca’s last visit,” he says. “Why?”
Freddie shrugs. “Can we make pizza bagels?”
“Honeybee, you’re a girl after my own heart,” laughs Bucky. He pulls her close and plants a smacking kiss on the side of her head, grinning when it makes her giggle. “Pizza bagels it is.”
“Pizza bagels!” Freddie cries out again, and giggles as Bucky echoes her battle cry all the way down the stairs.
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flagellant · 2 years ago
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if you're sick and tired of talking about the temple passage, just go ahead and delete my ask haha
but this is something i struggle with so much. like yeah the event may very well have not been antisemitic when it happened! but it's been utilized in antisemitic ways so much since, i've heard sermons by my old pastors, i've had jewish friends tell me about the ways it's been used against them. i love church. i love going every week and the stability it brings, i love singing with other people, i love baking for coffee hour, i love working at soup kitchens, i love being with people! but as i've grown more and more aware of the antisemitism and all the other bigotry that seems to be built into its very foundations, it's gotten harder and harder. i go to a liberal church now, but is that enough? are we doing enough as a congregation? am i perpetuating discrimination in some way i don't know yet? can we use the temple cleansing verses in a non antisemitic way or have they been tainted? can the church continue and be a force for good or are its foundations rotten? i know it's probably not a yes or no thing, it's probably complicated... christmas, the perfect time for religious angst
What you're going through right now is what I went through before finally deciding to leave Catholicism, and is at its roots why I studied to become a theologian. I find religion so beautiful in all its forms and reasons; we invent the supernatural to create explanations for the things which exist beyond us. The occult is the place where humanity revels in its inherent nature as contradictory, illogical, and strange.
And Christianity as an institution has, undeniably, been a source of much beauty and good in the world. No one can deny that objectively. The whole of Vatican City alone is a testament to the glory of God in art, and even without acknowledging any charity work done by any church or Christian organization, the kindness and support of parish communities alone cannot be overstated.
But it is also the case that Christianity as an institution has, undeniably, been a source of countless horrific, torturous deaths, systemic abuses and oppressions, and multiple genocides. This, too, is something no one can deny objectively. It exists not as the other side of the coin to the former; it is the same thing. The same good and beauty is fed and feeds the ugliness and the carnage.
What is the capability of an individual person in the face of all that trauma, all that debt of blood? You can't do anything about it. And even if you thought you could, how different does that make you if you still work under Great Man Philosophy? Is anything here worth saving? Is any experience free of the original sin of antisemitism and genocide and imperialism and colonialism?
I don't know. But what I do know is that I find it important that we all think of these things and acknowledge them. Christianity has done horrific things. But by not learning about the good things that the institutions have done, by refusing to recognize them, we forfeit our ability to more accurately define what is bad and why. The Spanish Inquisition is a horrible part of history, but Christianity couldn't have reached that point if it was all Inquisitions.
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a-queer-seminarian · 1 year ago
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*deeeeep breath* so. (cw church hurt, religious queerphobia)
another Thing has happened in the unfortunately still-ongoing saga of The Pentecost Incident (see my tag if you don't know, but basically, i visited my childhood church back in late May, my priest gave a queerphobic sermon, i got up and said something, got kicked out and verbally harassed by a dude, it went a little bit viral, ugh). (Oh btw i also discuss it a bit near the end of my latest podcast ep over here).
the priest in question, who's been at this same parish since 2002, has now been reassigned to a different church elsewhere in the Cleveland area.
naturally the same Cleveland journalist who's been covering this story since it started published a fresh article that questions whether the move is related to what happened back in May. The official diocese statement is that the events are unrelated, which. Sure. i could see. I definitely don't think it's "punitive" like the article suggests — apparently this other church is in a more conservative area / the parishioners are more conservative. So i could believe this is either a coincidence, or the bishop decided he'd be a better fit for this other church...or hell, that father tim is the one who requested the transfer to get out of the spotlight or something
which just. really bums me out. because unless he's really changed that much since i knew him better in high school (so a good decade ago), Father Tim isn't like, a Mega Conservative?? Like, relatively speaking, for a Catholic priest.
...If i really wanted to know, i guess i'd have to like, listen back through a ton of his homilies to see if they have gotten more conservative over time but. obviously i'm not going to do that because that would be The Worst thing i could do for my mental and spiritual health lol but. part of me is tempted just so i can Know.
i did what i did primarily as a message to anyone in the pews feeling as alienated and betrayed as i did; and secondarily in hopes that Father Tim would see how what he preached was so hurtful. i sent him a loooong email afterward to explain my feelings more (he replied with a quick sentence about not wanting to talk right now but i'm hoping he at least read it).
and now i can't stop thinking about like. what if what i did instead pushed him further right?? fed his persecution complex???
despite the fact that people on the left don't tend to pose any real physical threat to those we protest, and that i was the one who ended up verbally threatened in this situation, i was never surprised when conservative Catholics by-and-large responded to this incident by being like "see! Catholic-phobia is real!" ...But i hate to think that someone like Father Tim, who's known me for most of my life, would feel like i threatened him or whatever.
part of me knows that wouldn't really be on me if that's the case. most of me knows i would have felt the need to get up and say something regardless of how it's all shaken out — as gut-wrenching as it feels to have so little control over the narrative, i still couldn't have just sat there and said nothing. And i've had enough people from the broader St. Raphael community reach out to thank me and say what I did was encouraging or even healing to stand by my decision.
and yet. it still feels really painful. and this added bit about him being transferred to a new church just makes my stomach hurt. i bet there are people within the parish who now blame me and loathe me for like, tearing their community apart or whatever. and i bet the new church will welcome father tim in like a hero, maybe even expect him to preach more things like what he did that day, which will only push him farther right...
all of this is out of my control. i keep trying to center myself and remind myself of that. but God, it's just painful.
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phychohex · 3 months ago
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I Met a Vampire Down in Santa Carla (chapter two)
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Sitting down watching as Josh and Will search for a prop they lost in the water. Right now we are larping something we only did once a month cause they take so long. So far we have come to the beach and introduced my character. I play a high elf named Ismeth. Kayla sits next to us as we are currently out of game. "god can't believe those idiots actually put it in the water" she groans. She played teilfling rouge. She is currently in full get-up. I only had the ears on and a normal outfit that fit into my stepdad's stupid regulations. "should we help"
"you can" I huff she looks at me and laughs.
"no way are you still scared" Scared was a huge understatement. I had an insane phobia of the water but for all the right reasons. My dad had died in the ocean, I was there. Even though I went through years of intense therapy at a young age I never got over it. "how can a siren be scared of the ocean" she jokes and I shake my head. "I'm just fucking with you. I don't blame you, but you never really told me though what happened." She wasn't wrong even though we were the closest any two people could be I never could retell the story of that day. It always hurts too much. It doesn't help I was only five and what I do remember was through the eyes of a young child. I used to say a monster killed my dad and as far as I know that was true. The ocean is a monster.
A shriek of joy turns our attention back to Will. "found it" he exclaims and puts the game back on. We go over and look at a ceramic box with carving on it. Lilly holds it and flips through her book being a very powerful sossocer.
"I cast magic detection" hovering her hand over the box as Josh plays the role as Game master.
"Thy treasures may only be shown to one of true heart and courage. For if thou fail a deadly curse shall be cast down" We look at each other not sure what to do. Look at our barbarian who was played by Alex. He steps back shaking his head.
"you've fought a whole village of orcs come on" Kayla groans "That's pretty courageous"
"Who said I was scared to fight them"
"What are you talking about that has nothing to do with it" she snaps they always did this back and forth but that is only because their characters had been partners under odd circumstances. In reality, they got along very well.
"That defies the definition of courage" Lilly points out "Courage is shown when doing something even though it scares you"
"How is fighting a horde of orcs not terrifying tho" I ask
"I'm half" he shrugs. "besides it doesn't say a past act we have to do one now to prove to the box, so one of us should touch it that would be courageous"
"then do it" Kayla scuffs
"can't" he smiles "A tiny box doesn't scare the Mighty Throx" he boasts. "why not you?" she rolls her eyes.
"Have you not met me I'm anything but pure-hearted" Now lost with what to do. I go over to the water my heart racing.
"I will do it" I start not much of my character was known but this could be a good way to give a background. "my village was once attacked by a beast known as the Farquill. Many parished and my home was never the same yet somewhere out there the beast lay waiting to finish the job" I take a deep breath "I fear that if I ever step foot in the cold waters it will know" I let the water hit my feet before a loud crash. I turn to see Will smash the ceramic box on the ground.
"Juese dude" Josh snaps "trying to take someone out" I quickly step away "I also didn't want her to do that, you didn't have to do that Rory" he gave an apologetic look "But it worked." I go over and grab the scroll. it is a map. "that's it for today anyways um I guess we clean this up" I look at the time.
"shit" I start gathering my stuff.
"what" Lilly looks over "You okay"
"yeah, I'm going to be late I got to go" We all share our goodbyes and I drive to the tattoo shop. I enter with a ding of the bell going to the front desk waiting for Oscar. Instead, I'm greeted by a tall guy with short hair covered in tattoos sporting a goatee.
"How may I help you" he leans in smiling.
"I'm looking for Oscar" he turns and calls him.
Entering with that golly grin plastered on his face "Rory there you are Will told me you were on the way come on I'll show you where you can set up." I head back and the guy turns looking very displeased. I go back to; the shop being very high-end if I may say so. Each artist had a room to themselves. The room had all the stuff I needed. The chair for the client, a rolling stool, the drawers for all the supplies. "so you set up with all your stuff decorate as you like the shared supplies are down at the end of the hall." He smiles. The room was that of a small bedroom about 10x10. I go out to my car minding my own business noticing Oscar talking with the guy from before. I start loading my stuff in and making the room my own.
The tattoo gun I have is bright pink along with the gloves I use. I put a fluffy pink stool cover on making the place feel more like my own. I hang up some of my work all with a Pink wooden frame. The bride of Frankinsitne and Frankenstine both had rounded frames; putting them side by side facing each other. The other framed photo was a fairy with phycodelic cloud puff sitting on a mushroom smoking a hooka. Having to go get the shared shit from the storage room I leave making my way down the hall. I notice the man who greeted me glaring. Oscar comes out of his office offering to help.
"by the way this is Tyler he will be working night shift with you. It will be just you too at night." I hold out my hand and give him a handshake. "let me go get a box for you" Oscar walks off leaving me alone with tyler who didn't seem to thrilled to have me here. I could care less I wasn't here to be buddy buddy with people anyway. While it would be nice to be friends he didn't seem the type of person I'd be friends with. I'm here to do my thing and get paid that's all.
"can't believe I have a chick working with me" he huffs "When he said I was finally getting permanent help at night I didn't think he set me up with a newbie" Before more could be said under his breath Oscar came back showing me the supplies room.
"Is he always like that" I question. Oscar seemed all too clear knowing what I meant.
"just ignore him. All bark no bite, he has had some trouble with coworkers in general but he is damn good that's why I keep him. If you have any problem just let me know" reassuring me that I'd be okay and gathering what I needed before heading back to my area. It was quiet for the most part until some big dude with lots of tattoos covering his arms came in.
"oi, Rory right?" Tyler calls me over "I'll make a bet with you," intreged I walk over. "I want to see what you got. Round here respect is earned so whoever design he chooses wins bragging rights and gets to buy dinner on break deal" Feeling ballsy and a sense to prove myself I shake on it before going over. "how may I help you Tony" Apparently this was a recurring client knowing I might've made a bad decision.
"Sup, I'm looking to get a spider with an eye for the body. Just wanted to fill in some of the gaps" taking what he wanted and rushing off to start drawing what he wanted having a couple of ideas. I drew a normal spider and modified it by making the body like he wanted but it turned out kinda cartoony. Trying again to make it more photorealistic with the pupil being the hourglass-like a black widow. After about thirty minutes I go to see if Tyler was done and he was still working on the idea. He was good, so good it made me a bit nervous. He had the tarantula with the pattern being an eye it was realistic as well and in color. If it was my tattoo I'd probably choose him it would blend in and not be so obvious either. We go over Tony was impressed. "damn that's sick" he chuckles "I like this one" he fucking pointed to mine "Can it be in color" he asks "Thinking the eye can be red" I nod surprised he actually choose mine. The way I went about the design was a bit cartoony while Tyler's was more like something you'd see. Proud of myself we discuss everything.
I take him back and start setting up my station and doing the placement. After positioning it about twice I was ready. "would you like music or we can talk" I offer.
"music's fine" he smiles "What you got"
"not much sadly It's my first day in this shop so I haven't got the room completely decked out I can turn on a station if you'd like" I offer playing with the station till it is what he prefured. I get started my mind hyperfocused on what I was doing. I was finally in my zone. My mind was at ease nothing could stop my flow. I loved when clients wanted music, while I don't mind talking I'd much rather just vibe. I move on to the coloring after what felt like only thirty minutes even though I doubt it was. I felt thirsty leaning up and stopping the clock.
"is everything ok" The concern in his voice was a bit startling.
"yeah I just need something to drink real quick" I smile.
"you pay by hour no?"
"I do that's why I stopped the clock, I charge for the work I do not for taking breaks. Can I get you anything while I'm up?"
"Could I get some water too if you don't mind" I nod and go to get our drinks I glance at the time it has been almost two hours. fifty bucks. I was nowhere near done maybe another two to go. I come back refreshed and let him sit and relax some before resterilizing and going back to work this time no music.
"so where did you work before this"
"I worked in a shop called Vixxin it was in New Mexico"
"you from there"
"no I just moved back" I smile. "so when did you start your collage" I joke
"When I was bout your age I think. I was fucking around with some friends and got a stick and poke after a few of those I got addicted." we start talking about the addiction tattoo and how some had meanings. He was a war vet and had a big eagle on his bicep. Having served in Vietnam he moved to Santa Carla afterwards. The war changed him having seen such horrible things made him want to help those. Like the victims he saw in the war the civilians who just happened to be in the way of fire. He is currently a firefighter and has a kid on the way.
Wrapping things up and heading to the front his total wasn't bad. I did great; being really proud of my work. "I hope you enjoy and congratulations on the kiddo" I smile
"thanks and you know this was one of the best services I've gotten can I tip." Not sure if it was allowed I called for Oscar who still happened to be here.
"how can I help" He smiles
"Can we accept a tip ?"
"Yeah," I'm handed twenty-five which was a pleasant surprise. Having a happy customer made my night that much better. "well shit look at that keep up the good work." Oscar pats my back "I'm going to get going here in a bit"
"do you want me to just put it in a jar in the front?" I ask not sure of the rules on tips.
"Nah that's yours I believe if you earn it it's yours. My wife used to be a waitress and came home always mad about how she had to split her hard-earned money with people who sat around. So that's yours be proud." I go back to my room cleaning up again when I hear the ding. I go to see a woman waiting.
"How may I help you" I smile. The rest of the night was easy I had one other quick tattoo customer and did a few pricings. I started my reservations and appointments for clients. When break rolled around Tyler ordered a pizza and ignored me for the rest of the night pissy that I won the bet which was the icing on top. While sweeping up the floors and going around to start closing up shop Tyler comes out.
"you did good," He mutters still butt hurt.
"thank you" I smile "I got it from here if you want to go" I offer trying to be on a more friendly term with him.
"No it's fine you go I got it" he starts towards the back.
"Are you sure" I look at him and he nods I finish what I am doing before grabbing my things and heading out. The boardwalk was slowly closing the only places still open being a twenty-four hour convenience store as well as a few bars that didn't close till five. I get in my car and drive over to the store to get a snack and a drink. As I am checking out I hear the loud engines of bikes outside. I glance over to meet the blue eyes of the man from a few nights ago. Being almost entranced by them.
"is that all" the teenager working the counter asks with a bratty attitude. I look over nodding handing her the money before making my way out. They just sat there getting gas and all loudly talking. Having noticed me staring he leans forward against the handles nodding his head up eyebrows doing the same smirking. I quickly look away before getting in my car and heading home. I unlock the front door and enter not expecting Steve to be waiting nearly scaring the wits out of me.
"oh my god," I jump dropping my bag. I groan and pick my stuff up ready for the earful of whatever bullshit was about to spew out of his mouth.
"where were you" he questions "It's almost four in the morning"
"I was at work" I move past him "I told you I got it why are you surprised" Setting my things down on the counter I try to ignore him.
"you said you get off at three" he snaps
"I needed gas" opening the fridge to put my things away which was quickly slammed shut in my face.
"you will look at me when I am talking to you" He yells. "how do you expect to get shit done if you are out all night"
"what do you mean" I snap back.
"We agreed you'd help did we not"
"yes, I have a job though so I can pay you rent if you want and I will buy my food didn't Mom tell you"
"she did but that isn't any of her business this is my house Rory" he yells "So this is what will happen you will give me half of every paycheck." he smiles thinking he did something.
"Okay," I shrug.
Not getting the reaction he wanted he grits his teeth hissing under his breath"Well how much do you make then"
"a month" I get out a paper to go some quick math. "bout 4,500" I look over his eyes wide.
"bullshit" he snaps throwing whatever was close causing me to jump. "what do you really make" I shake my head handing him the paper. "there is no fucking way you make that much"
"on a good month yeah I would" I nod backing up not sure what he wanted me to say. "I do okay for myself, I don't get why you are so mad"
"Because I won't tolerate lying" he yells. My mom walked in just as confused as I was. "so how much" his face slowly turning red with rage. "an hour how much"
"twenty-five minus like 20%"
"Bullshit" He yells realizing his ego was hurt. He didn't want to believe I made so much. Even though it felt good to know I bruised his elated ego it was fucking terrifying.
"Fifteen" I blurt out saying the lowest but most believable number I could think of.
"there see why didn't you just say that hmm." smiling satisfied "No need to lie to me Rory, now I should expect about thirteen hundred right?" he asks and I nod not being able to move. It was like every muscle in my body was so tense that if you pointed a gun at me I wouldn't be able to move. The terror that filled me was too intense. He fixes himself to hide the rage fit he just had. "now I need to get going I love you both" He goes over to my mom kissing her head. "I'll be home later" before leaving. My eyes were wide as I looked over at my mom who was just as frozen as I was. What the fuck was that. I've never seen him act like that the whole time I've known him. Sure he was a horrible person but the shift of emotion was baffling. If he got mad it would take a long time for him to cool down we would hear about it all day but just smile say I love you then walk off. That was horrifying it's like a psychopath was just yelling at me. I go over to the broken object that he threw to clean. Mom springing in action as well. While cleaning up trying to help her with housework both of us kept quiet.
"what time did you get home" she asks while I help her with the dishes.
"like four" I mutter. She nods and glances over.
"don't you have work tonight" I nod "Honey go get some rest it's almost noon" I look at her. "don't worry I won't tell. As long as you are working he doesn't have to know that I do the housework by myself you are doing your part."
"I wasn't lying," I tell her my voice meek.
"I know, I'm proud of you. Doing what you love and doing so well. Jokes on him in the end though." she chuckles I look over her smile real not like when I first saw her when I got here. That's how she made it. Every time he got things wrong or showed his ass in front of people it filled her with the same sick joy of finally someone sees him for the bastard he is and how he isn't as tough as he seems, so fragile. Even though that fear plagued the back of her mind the fear that made it to where she would feel this joy in private. I knew this feeling too well the only hope for her was if she did what I did. She didn't have the resources though. No family to run back to. I won't leave no matter if it is worse than it was. I will stay and never leave her alone like I did again, if I do leave it will be with her going with me I vow that.
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physicsgoblin · 10 months ago
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I'm sad because it's yet another year that I've failed to make it to a Midnight Mass for Christmas. Since I converted I've yet to attended one. I'm always just too exhausted and there is no one to help keep me awake. Even with coffee I don't feel safe driving feeling so tired.
It feeds into another feeling of isolation with being a convert and being unmarried. Here is yet another thing I have to try and go through alone. I love my family--I wish they were catholic so I would have support. Yes, there is the Parish but it is a different thing. It doesn't fulfill the day-to-day role. Sitting by myself every Sunday, praying by myself every morning, saying a rosary by myself and feeling so alien when I mention anything catholic to my family.
So if you grew up and are still a part of a good catholic family, please thank God for that for me. It is a gift. Treasure it. It's a part of the reason I want to marry a good man and have children, so that we can raise them in the faith and not be so lonely anymore. I feel most useful when some part of myself is being used up. I think I would understand mass more if I had to explain it to my children. My mom said the Lord sets the lonely in families, I wonder if he would give my lonely heart my own to start?
One day I want to make it to a Midnight Mass. I know that is such a small, silly thing compared to other Christians persecutions and struggles. But I helped decorate our Parish today and it was so lovely and I was looking forward to the Christmas music and the candlelight and I'm angry at myself for feeling so tired. I wanted to go. I wanted someone to go with and sit with. Not just sit beside but a "here, come and sit with me." But that did not happen. And I am sad.
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mariacallous · 6 months ago
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The hit Netflix series ‘Baby Reindeer’ – and what a hit, with 56.5 million views in its first 26 days of release – is an exemplary example of a genre I call ‘Netflix good’, well-made, story focused, and moving along at a brisk pace while never letting a particular moment linger into the structurally unusual. The episodes are the right length, the cliffhangers come in the right places, and the needle drops are the songs you’d actually want if you had an adequate musical budget to pay for their hire. If you start watching this show, you generally finish it.
Once you’re done you can also go online and participate in the discourse, or you can skip straight to the discourse if you're short on time.
At least discussion of this series is founded in pretty tangible ethical issues for a change. They revolve around using the disturbing and recent personal story of its creator, Richard Gadd, as the basis of entertainment and the implications of that for the real people involved. Clearly, it’s Gadd’s has the right to present the story of his sexual abuse and stalking as he sees fit. Nonetheless there’s a fairly clear ethical objection here, well articulated by Sarah Ditum of this parish on her own newsletter, that suggests the show would probably have been better not to have been made at all: Namely that, given the shows ‘Martha’ character founded her stalking of Gadd on the delusional belief that he was attracted to her, a seven-episode dramatization of the affair runs the risk of encouraging her in that belief.
So it has proved. That he real-life Martha was being interviewed on Piers Morgan about the case is the kind of thing which would be happening in a stalker’s fantasies of thwarted love. To this extent, ‘Baby Reindeer’ has the potential to promote the behaviour it thematizes.
Overall, tho, I do not know Gadd’s actual experiences, nor am I telling him how to present them, or the real-life people they depict how to react. I do tho know and know intimately another of the worlds the show depicts, namely that of the lower echelons of UK stand-up comedy, that world of sparsely attended open mics, grim comedy competitions, and Edinburgh festival runs at unsuitable venues. And I can say that many of the decisions made about depicting that world, and how it folds into the show’s wider narrative, are either subtly or largely inaccurate – and that, in their own quiet way, feeds into some of the ethical questions as to exactly how much the show departs from reality.
As ‘Baby Reindeer’ begins, Donny (Gadd’s alter ego – you wonder why the name was changed at all) has moved to London to try and make it as a comedian, and at the beginning we see him struggling at a series of open mic gigs. At these Gadd is seen as completely bombing, playing to utter silence and bemused looks, an exaggeratedly baffled response.
The thing is, there are also significant audiences at the gigs we see. In reality, at those kinds of gigs, you get one or the other; tiny rooms and a baffled response, or an actual audience. In the latter case people have usually to some degree elected to be there and are as such less hostile. The kind of response Gadd is getting come occurs at gigs where people are only accidentally there for comedy, and perhaps just wanted a drink in peace; as a former London open micer, looking at those scenes I could only envy that Gadd was getting a whole fifteen people in.
In short, Gadd has exaggerated audience hostility to his – for my money actually quite funny – routines in order to increase the TV audience's sympathy for him. As creative manipulation goes, it’s pretty minor; in comedy reality, he’d be baffling some people and getting laughs from others. It’s not a big distortion – all it evidences is that the writer-director of the series wants to be liked. This may not be unusual from a comic.
The depiction of the comedy competition Gadd is progressing through across the series departs from accuracy much more notably. In this comp, Gadd again plays to silence but helps himself through via some banter with Martha. Maybe this happened; it’s a bit convenient, but as ever, it keeps the story moving.
What certainly didn’t happen was, as is shown in the show, Gadd having his own dressing room in the (quarter and then semi-final) of a comedy competition. Where are the other acts? In a real heat, Gadd would be crammed backstage with countless other comedians, communicating in a weird mixture of tension, nervousness and camaraderie. It seems odd that Gadd is cutting out other comedians like this – I’m sure it’s meant to communicate that his struggle is all alone, but it also runs the risk of coming off as solipsistic.  The little moments of interest in his comedy the show portrays – his colleagues mocking his comedy set in a work office, a stranger in a pub laughing at his clips – also buttress a sense of Gadd’s excessive self-involvement. In real life, other people just don't care about your comedy all that much, let alone enough to mock it in public.
The depiction of Gadd/Donny’s performance at the Edinburgh Festival is somewhat truer to life; the pub with the mic shoved in the cupboard, and big screens showing sport throughout the performances, reminds me of my own run at a southside Edinburgh pub in 2016. Again, the disinterest and hostility of the Scottish pub audience is exaggerated, but there are certainly many days at the festival for unknown acts which sees them play to microcrowds. It’s very awkward when you have one person in your crowd and there’s a walkout.
What is definitely inaccurate is the way Gadd shows up at his venue and then immediately launches into his show; in reality, you’d scope your room out in advance, then come back a few days later and perform. You’d meet the other people who are also doing the same venue; again, other comics are cut out. The people who run your venue would probably be nice. Again, the edges of the process are smoothed out in order to attenuate the ‘hero’s journey’ aspect of the narrative, which I’m not sure sits easily with exactly how this particular hero ends up attaining their success.
It’s in the finale tho that the distortions in Gadd’s depiction of comedy becomes, at least for me, a major issue. In the final of the competition, Gadd starts his set well, getting laughs, but at a certain point breaks down into an emotional monologue about the abuse he has suffered from Martha, his rapist and himself. Ignoring requests to leave the stage, he runs to an end, then eventually walks out through the stunned crowd.
Is this sequence supposed to be a fantasy? For there is absolutely no way it would be allowed to happen in real life. Gadd ignores the light signalling his time is up and refuses to leave the stage; a huge no-no in a competition final where other acts would be expecting to perform. With his confessional monologue, he would have ruined the night for any other of number of comedians. Rather than this moment making his career, it would have been a moment when he acquired a reputation in the industry as not to be worked with. Again, in the world we see, Gadd is the only comedian who exists; for all the media attention his monologue might have gained him, he would have become a pariah amongst his fellow acts. In reality, it was writing two by-all-accounts brilliant Edinburgh shows that got him attention, not breaking down in a comedy competition. We are firmly into ‘print the legend’ here.
It does strike me that a big laugh was missed in this sequence by not, after Gadd had walked off, having the next act come out and say ‘Anyone fancy some juggling?’
Why does this matter? Comedian makes their story a bit more attention-grabbing to win audience affection shocker. This is Netflix Good, after all, where smoothness of narrative is the cardinal virtue.
I’d argue that stuff like this becomes much more significant when you present yourself as having created a work of art which is apparently extremely candid about your own shortcomings. Gadd doesn’t have to tell us, for example, that he masturbated over Martha, or bought her a coffee, or went to her house – this clearly suggests to the audience he is going over and beyond in terms of self-disclosure.
Yet if you’re going to invite the audience to praise you for your honesty, you need to extend it to all aspects of your work. The question inevitably arises that is Gadd is falsifying the less controversial parts of his story – Gadd never broke down in a comedy competition, tho he did win one – are you being 100% truthful about the other stuff?
The answer is no. It was while working on this essay that I learnt that the denoument of the show when – spoiler alert – Martha is sentenced to nine months in prison, was entirely fabricated. To invent this ending seems to me flatly unethical, much more serious than conjuring up a cathartic viral speech out of nowhere. Again, the motivation seems to be the same, of offering the audience narrative closure in terms which more palatable to them. Ensuring that dramatic closure comes before fidelity to real-life traumatic events.
Yet surely one of the lessons of trauma is that life rarely provides this kind of closure, at least not in any convenient sense, and even then only over much longer timeframes than the show depicts. As so often with contemporary trauma narratives, I am left thinking ‘Perhaps this all needed longer to be worked through.’
Gadd is asking for this level of scrutiny by presenting the work as ‘This is a true story’. Not ‘inspired by true events’; ‘This is a true story’. You, the viewer, can trust that events played out pretty much as depicted here; sure, there might be minor inaccuracies, but not colossal ones like making up that someone went to jail. And while Gadd has apparently been clear in interviews that in real-life the events played out differently, the vast majority of people streaming the show will not be aware of said interviews. I certainly wasn’t.
Gadd also created the tools to have his cake and eat it here. The presence of voiceover through the series, too, offered Gadd the opportunity to thematize the play between reality and fantasy: Imagine Martha being sent to prison while Gadd’s voiceover says ‘This never happened. Real-life isn’t so neat.’ Instead, his presentation of the events as literally true invited the army of amateur sleuths and provoked the TV appearance of the real Martha we have seen.
The overall sense is of a man who has taken quite a few shortcuts in the desire to let nothing come between him and his big break. Gadd seems to have followed the view of the poet John Berryman that ‘The artist is extremely lucky who is presented with the worst possible ordeal which will not actually kill him. At that point, he's in business.’ This is not to dispute that awful things have happened to Richard Gadd. No one is expecting him to be a perfect victim; he can tho be a wholly conscientious artist.
Sometimes in ‘Baby Reindeer’ Gadd seems to be licking his lips a little too obviously at the quality of material his life is delivering to him, and the way he adds climaxes of comedy virality or justice being served heightens that sense of exploitation. The simple fact that he’s spent so many years working through this material in the years immediately after it happened strikes me as odd too – I’d want to live away from it first and let time do its transforming work. Gadd has spent nearly a decade combining his traumas into the most accessible form possible and apparently seasoning them with falsifications large and small to ensure they slide down a mass audience’s throat.
I think for true stories Netflix Good has to take a second seat to messy reality. If you are going to draw so directly from real life, I think you have to obey not just emotional truth but the actual historical record; longeurs, pauses and ungainly timescales are not just details but in some way essential to the way things happened; you have to respect the rhythms of reality. You have to run the risk of having things being a little bumpier for your audience to show greater fidelity to those involved and yourself – and I think you have to show a little more of your workings, and your own engagement with such ethical questions too. One reason we make characters and stories up is to free ourselves from the full weight of such concerns; when we draw from life, they need I’d suggest to be considered more directly.
There’s a strange aspect of so much confessional writing these days, in that it conceals in its heart a desperate desire to be liked. The whole point of true confession is you have to leave people the right to detest you if they wish; the mere fact of being honest is not in itself exculpatory. You need to be honest even when it jeopardizes the potential success of your story; to be blunt, if ‘Baby Reindeer’ had hewn more closely to life, I doubt it would have been such a massive hit.
Still, at least the show doesn’t show a comedian making up material on the spot and getting huge laughs for it. That’s something at least. Stand-up comedians practice bits again and again, removing anything extraneous that gets in the way of the joke landing. The stakes are just higher when you apply that logic to things which actually happened. You might remove something the audience needs to know.
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Text
Only You
Pairing: Kevin Ryan/Reader
Characters: Reader, Kevin Ryan, Lanie Parish, Javier Esposito, Richard Castle, Kate Beckett, Original Male Character, Janie O'Malley (Only Mentioned), Roy Montgomery
Word Count: 3057
A/N: There are very little fanfictions with Kevin Ryan/Reader pairing. Therefore, I've decided to write my own. This is also my first time writing a one-shot. Happy reading! I don't own anything from the TV show "Castle" nor you. P.S. English isn't my first language, so if you see some mistakes, let me know!
"You never realize how much you love someone until you watch them loving someone else." ~Unknown~
You're putting files on your desk when you see Lanie walking to you. Your face falls. Hers twist in annoyance.
'Girl, why are you still working?' she asks. 'You should be ready to leave!'
'Leave?' Esposito asks, surprised. 'Where are you going?'
'On a date with a friend of mine,' Lanie answers. Esposito and Castle whistles. Beckett rolls her eyes. Ryan, who's walking over to your group, stops suddenly.
'It's not a date!' you protest, blushing. 'I agreed to meet him so you would stop nagging me, but it's not a date.'
'Mhm, wait until you meet him,' Lanie says, not at all intimidated. You send her a glare and start packing your things.
'Where am I supposed to meet him, anyway?' you ask. 'I keep asking you that all day.'
'Oh, he's coming here to get you,' Lanie answers. You freeze. You give her a terrified look.
'He's what now?' you ask. 'Lanie, no. Don't do this to me.'
'How else was I supposed to be sure you're actually going to show up?' Lanie asks, shrugging. Before you can say another word, the door to the elevator opens. You look up and you freeze. Your eyes go wide and your mouth almost hang open.
From the elevator a handsome stranger walks out. He's wearing a navy-blue suit with a tie of the same color. He has a dark short slightly curly hair. His eyes are blue, almost grey. He has a light stubble. And in his hands is a bouquet of flowers. His eyes fall on you and he smiles. The moment he does, you feel your knees going week and you feel you're about to melt. His smile is gorgeous!
'Luke, hi!' Lanie calls with a smile. She glances at you and smirks. The man, Luke, walks over to her.
'Lanie, hi,' he greets her and they hug. Beckett leans to you.
'Wow,' she whispers.
'Double wow,' you whisper back. Luke looks at you and you quickly straighten your posture. But then he smiles and you think you're about to swoon again.
'This is my friend I told you about,' Lanie says and turns to you. 'And this is Luke.'
'Hi,' you manage to say, offering him your hand. He takes it but instead of shaking it, he kisses it. Are you blushing? You feel your cheeks are hot.
'Hi, it's very nice to meet you,' Luke says and offers you the flowers. 'These are for you.'
'Oh. You didn't have to,' you say, embarrassed, as you take the flowers. Luke shakes his head.
'My parents taught me to always give flowers a girl you want to go on a date with,' he says. Right, now you're definitely blushing.
'Who says romance is dead?' Beckett teases and offers Luke her hand. 'Hi, I'm Kate. And these are Rick, Javier and Kevin. We're Lanie's friends.'
'Yeah, Lanie told me about you,' Luke says with a smile. 'It's good to meet you.'
He shakes hands with everyone. Ryan hesitates a moment before his turn, though.
'I promise to bring her home safe and sound,' Luke says.
'You better,' Esposito says. 'We're detectives. If something happens to her… we will know.'
Luke nods, taking the words very seriously. You hurry to gather your things, avoiding looking at your friends.
'Okay, we can go,' you say. 'See you all tomorrow.'
'Have fun,' Beckett says with a smile.
'We'll try not solving the case without you,' Castle promises.
'And remember we'll want details tomorrow,' Esposito says. You glare at him.
'I hate you,' you say. Lanie puts a hand on your back and pushes you and Luke toward the exit.
'Don't mind him, just have lots of fun,' she says.
'Bye! It was great meeting you,' Luke says, shooting a last smile at your friends.
'Bye!' they all say. Luke offers you his arm. You take it, blushing, and step into the elevator with him. A moment later you're gone.
'Damn, Lanie,' Esposito says. 'Where did you take him from?'
'Ah-ah, not telling,' Lanie says, smirking.
'Didn't he seem a bit… I don't know… too nice?' Ryan asks, frowning. Others look at him, puzzled.
'He seemed alright to me,' Esposito says.
'And he is, trust me,' Lanie promises.
'Even so… it won't hurt to check him,' Ryan says. He turns and hurries to his computer. His friends exchange a knowing look.
~*~
Next day Kate comes to work alone. Castle has some family emergency. When she exits the elevator, she sees that from her team only you are already here. You're sitting on your desk, staring at the murder board. There's a small smile on your face.
'Hey,' Beckett says, dropping her things on her desk. 'How was your… meeting?'
'I think we can call it a date,' you admit, smiling shyly. Beckett grins.
'That well, huh?' she asks.
'You have no idea,' you answer, grinning. 'He's a perfect gentleman. So nice, kind and sweet. I can't remember when was the last time I had so much fun talking with someone.'
'That's great,' Kate says. 'And did he walk you home?'
'You can say that,' you answer, looking down with a smile.
'Really?' Kate asks and chuckles. You give her a look.
'Can you blame me?' you ask. 'Kate, you saw his smile. I was melting at his smile. It didn't take much to move to other things.'
'And how was it?' Kate asks. You grin.
'Amazing,' you answer. Kate grins back, happy for you. Just then the elevator dings and the door open. Castle, Ryan and Esposito walk out and head toward you two.
'Ah, hello, ladies!' Castle greets you and looks at you. 'How was your… Can I say "date"?'
'Yes, you may and it was wonderful,' you answer happily and stand up. 'Maybe I'm not cursed after all. Be right back.'
You beam at your friends and head to the social room, a spring in your steps. Esposito chuckles.
'It's good to see her so happy,' he says.
'Yeah,' Ryan murmurs, his face grim. Without another word he walks to his desk. Castle and Esposito exchange a look.
A few minutes later you return with a hot drink in your hand. Esposito and Ryan are talking about something. Castle and Beckett are nowhere to be seen.
'- with Jenny,' you hear Ryan saying when you join your friends. You feel a nasty feeling in your stomach.
'How is Jenny?' you ask, trying to act nonchalant. Ryan shoots you a look.
'She's… good,' he answers and clears his throat. 'Very good. And how is… Luke? Did you have fun with him?'
'Yes, I did,' you answer. You and Ryan stare at each other for a moment. Then you look away awkwardly and go to your desk. Esposito stands alone and looks after you two.
'Those two are hopeless,' he murmurs and goes to his desk.
~*~
For the next weeks, you continue to go on dates with Luke. It's going great and soon you even start calling himself your boyfriend. You seem to be glowing and your friends are happy for you. Well. Except, it seems, for Ryan.
While you grow closer to Luke, you and Ryan drift apart. Every time you are having a conversation with a group, Ryan tries to leave it as soon as possible. Whenever you find yourself alone, he quickly finds an excuse to go. You try to pretend it doesn't bother you, but it hurts you a lot.
Your friends, of course, notice the change in your and Ryan's friendship. They try to mend it, but they seem to be at a loss. They have no idea how to fix it. But on the contrary to you, they know what the problem is. However, they also know they can't do anything to fix it.
One day, Castle and Beckett walk into the morgue, with glum faces. Lanie raises her eyebrows.
'I'd ask who died, but it seems inappropriate in here,' she says. Beckett sighs.
'Sorry, Lanie,' she says. 'Things are a bit… tense in the team.'
'What happened?' Lanie asks, frowning.
'Luke happened,' Castle says and gives Lanie a look. 'Why did you think it's a great idea to hook them up?'
'It was a great idea and you won't tell me she's not happier,' Lanie says, not sorry at all.
'Yeah, but now things between her and Ryan are worse and worse,' Castle says. Lanie crosses her arms, her expression stern.
'Well, it's not my fault they refused to admit their feelings and Ryan can't deal with his jealousy,' she says. 'I just helped to even out the field.'
Castle huffs. Beckett tries to suppress a smile.
'The victim?' she asks. Lanie quickly tells them all the information she has for them. They don't come back to the previous conversation.
~*~
One day you, Beckett, Ryan, Esposito and Castle go to an abandoned factory to confront your suspect. The building turns out to be a labyrinth and you have to split up. You walk for some time on your own, your gun at the ready. Until suddenly there are two possible ways in front of you. But a second later Ryan comes from one of them.
'Let's go,' Ryan says after a moment of awkward silence. You nod and you go the only possible way together. The atmosphere is tense and eerie. You don't hear any sound. You don't like it.
Finally, after yet another turn, you see a set of doors. You check them one by one with Ryan. In one room you find a large box and a board with photos of your victim. All of them crossed with a red pen.
'Seems he's our killer after all,' you say, looking closer at the photos.
'Yeah, looks like it,' Ryan agrees, checking the box. 'I found clothes with blood on it. I'm gonna guess they belong to our guy and the blood belongs to our victim.'
'Poor girl,' you say, staring at one of the photos. 'She could do so much with her life.'
Suddenly, there's a loud noise behind you. Both of you jump and turn. The door is closed. Ryan rushes to it and tries to open it.
'It won't budge,' he groans. 'They're locked. And shooting at the lock won't work. It won't open it.'
'Great,' you murmur and take out your phone. 'And guess what? There's no signal.'
Ryan curses. He starts walking around the room.
'Maybe there's another way out,' he says, checking the walls. 'And if not, we just have to wait until others find us.'
'Unless they're trapped as well,' you suggest. Ryan stops for a moment.
'Let's stay positive,' he says and resumes checking the walls. You sigh and do the same on the other side of the room.
'We can actually use this situation,' you say after a moment.
'For what?' Ryan asks. You're silent for a moment.
'Since there's no way for you to leave, you could tell me what I did wrong,' you finally say.
'What do you mean?' Ryan asks, tensing. You sigh.
'Ryan, you've been avoiding me like a fire lately,' you say and turn to him. 'We used to be so close. What happened, huh? What did I do? If I did something to offend you, I apologize, but please, just talk to me.'
You look at him pleadingly. Ryan stops but doesn't turn to face you. Silence fills the room.
'You didn't do anything,' Ryan finally says quietly. 'I… I'm an idiot, that's all. And a bad friend.'
'Care to elaborate?' you ask, raising your eyebrows. Ryan sighs and finally turns. There's sadness in his eyes.
'I want to be happy for you, I really do, because you seem to be with Luke,' he says. 'But I can't look at it.'
'Why?' you ask, frowning. Ryan chuckles dryly.
'Because it's not me you're happy with,' he answers. You stare at him, stunned.
'What do you mean by that?' you ask but Ryan looks away and is quiet. 'Ryan, what are you trying to say?'
'That I like you!' he exclaims, throwing his hands in the air. 'Okay? I like you. More than a friend. A-And seeing you happy with another guy… it hurts. I'm jealous and I know that it's pathetic. I know that I was awful to you lately because of that and I'm sorry. But I can't change how I feel. Believe me, I tried.'
You're shocked by his words. But then you feel anger filling you.
'You're a moron,' you say, clenching your fists. 'If you truly like me so much, then why have you started dating Jenny? Because you are the one who had a relationship first. And I tried to be supportive, to be glad you're happy. But it hurt. It hurt so much.'
You blink away the unwanted tears. Ryan is looking at you with a stunned expression. You gulp.
'Why do you think I wasn't going on dates before?' you ask. 'Because no one was good enough and I… I couldn't let it go. But I knew I have to. So when Lanie started nagging me about her friend, I thought that maybe it's time I… moved on. And while I enjoy spending time with Luke… I'm not happy. Not really. Because he's not the one I want to be with.'
You and Ryan stare at each other for a moment. Finally, Ryan chuckles and looks down.
'We're hopeless idiots, aren't we?' he asks. 'I'm sorry I hurt you. I thought it's a bad idea to have something with you, since we're working together. And I never thought you'd want to be with me.'
'I thought exactly the same things,' you admit quietly. Ryan looks up at you. Slowly, hesitantly, he walks to you. Soon, he' standing right in front of you.
'You're an amazing woman,' he says softly, causing you to look up at him. 'I adore your laugh and smile. When you're sad, I want to comfort you. I admire your courage and your intelligence. I…'
He chuckles. There are tears in his eyes.
'I love you,' he says. You inhale sharply.
'Kevin…' you say, stunned, and gulp after a moment. 'I hate you.'
'Okay, that hurt,' Kevin says, frowning. You shake your head.
'I don't mean it really,' you say. 'Just… I… With you I feel safe. You are… so kind, funny and you can always make me laugh when I need it. I'm not afraid to be vulnerable around you. I admire you so much. I… I love you, too.'
Kevin starts to grin. But you look at him sadly.
'And that's why I hate you,' you say and Kevin stops smiling. 'Because I can't have you. You and Jenny… you are perfect. She's everything I'm not.'
'She's not you,' Kevin says. You shake your head.
'I don't want you to break her heart,' you say. Kevin looks down.
'I think that if I continue this relationship, knowing how you feel, I'd be unfair to both of you,' he says. 'And to myself.'
You nod sadly. Kevin cups your face. You look up at him. He smiles softly.
'Can I say it again?' he asks and you nod slowly, not sure what he means. 'I love you.'
You smile. You lean slightly toward him.
'I love you, too,' you say quietly. Kevin's eyes shine with happiness. He leans toward you and before you can think whether it's right, you're kissing and it feels wonderful. Sure, kissing Luke was amazing. But this… this was right. You know Kevin is the person you're supposed to kiss. You don't care about the obstacles you have yet to face. Now all that matters is how perfect your lips match his. You forget about the world outside. All that matters is Kevin, the kiss and…
There's a loud noise that causes you and Kevin to jump away from each other with wide eyes. You look at the door and see your friends. They're surprised to find you in such positions. But soon there are smirks on their faces.
'Looks like we've rescued them too soon,' Beckett teases.
'So how long has this been going on between the two of you?' Castle asks. You and Kevin exchange a look.
'Uh… a few minutes?' you ask hesitantly. Your friends give you blank stares. Then they turn to leave.
'Should have locked them up somewhere ages ago,' Esposito says, as they exit the room. You hear Beckett and Castle agreeing with him. You and Kevin look at each other.
'They… knew, didn't they?' you ask.
'Looks like it,' Kevin says. For a moment you stare at each other, then chuckle.
'So… what now?' you ask.
'We will figure something out,' Kevin answers, shrugging, and smiles. 'Because after that kiss… I'm not letting you go. Never again.'
You grin at him and press your forehead to his. You're about to say something sweet, but Esposito's voice ruins it:
'Yo, are you two coming or are we supposed to arrest the murderer without you?!'
~*~
A few days later another case is solved. It was a quick job well done, so Castle decides it needs to be celebrated.
'Let's take it to a bar!' he proposes. 'Drinks are on me!'
'If that's how you put it,' Esposito says with a grin. 'Beckett?'
'Why not?' Beckett asks, smiling. Castle turns to coming Ryan.
'Ryan, we're going drinking,' he informs him.
'Uh, yeah, without me, I'm afraid,' Ryan says. 'Sorry, guys, I have plans.'
'What plans?' Castle asks, but Ryan is already walking away. 'Ryan, what plans?'
Ryan doesn't seem to hear him. Or ignores him. Instead, he walks to your desk, where you are gathering your things.
'Ready?' he asks you. You smile and nod. You turn to your friends and wave.
'See you tomorrow!' you call. Kevin takes your hand in his and you two head toward the elevator. Your friends stare at you, surprised. Captain Montgomery leaves his office and joins them.
'Did they finally admit their feelings?' he asks.
'They even kissed,' Castle answers. 'But… what about Jenny and Luke?'
'I think that since they're obviously going on a date, they've already solved this,' Beckett says.
'Well, then there's only one thing left to say,' Montgomery says. 'About damn time.'
A/N: Thanks for reading! I hoped you liked it. Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could. Have a lovely day/night! This fic can also be find on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45635002
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sideshowmads · 1 year ago
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It’s a Good Omens Rant ✨
I’m really sick of holding this in so here it is, and I don’t really give a fuck who sees this at this point because I’ve had it. If you’re pissed by the end of it, it’s probably because I’m talking about you 💓 ✌🏻  I really feel like a lot of the people I've seen complaining about the nepotism when it comes to Ty and Peter's roles or Georgia & Anna being (or now in this case, not being) in Good Omens are the people that ship David and Michael together aggressively or have this extreme attitude towards G & A and at this point, I'm really starting to believe the only reason y’all are pissed is because you know it's gonna break the alternate reality you’ve built in your head where Georgia, Anna, and/or their families aren’t around and Michael and David can live happily ever after together because other than that, it doesn’t make sense to me. It feels so disingenuous that so many people would say “Well it’s nepotism and it’s disgusting” etc. when no one made a peep about nepotism until it had to do with Good Omens. So, in that case, I ask everyone with “concerns”, where is your outrage for every other time this has happened in the industry? Or even with Michael and David specifically before Good Omens?  There wasn’t a huge outcry when Ty was in ATWI80D No one said anything when Georgia Produced YM&H and David had a leading role No one had anything detrimental to say about Georgia meeting David on the set of DW which she most surely got that part because of her father How many times has David worked with Nina Sosanya? Jessica Hynes? Sarah Parish? Fenella Woolgar? Several times for each person and no one bats an eye...
We could go on and on and you’ll still find that there was nowhere near the level of complaining and “concern” with any other show/film than there has been with Good Omens and it’s really sad.  Because it’s very apparent that the “concern” is very one sided to the narrative of “We have to keep their families out of it because it ruins the illusion” and that’s such a weird take to have... especially because you know David and Michael wouldn’t vibe with that, whatsoever. 
Listen, I understand, I enjoy RPF, kinda, in the right circumstances, and usually I’m all about letting people believe what they want, but the fact that so many of you have had this attitude towards something that you haven’t even seen yet and don’t have any context for strictly because you’re pissed that David and Michael don’t get to stay in their little bubble where their real outside relationships don’t exist is mind blowing.  I honestly don’t care whether or not you’re mad about it. It’s a fucking tv show that many, many, many people poured their heart into making and if you believe for a second that two people could “ruin” that with their presence and it causes you genuine “concern” then maybe you should step back and re-evaluate on whether or not this fandom is the best place for you. Not only is that just a shitty attitude to have, it’s such a slap in the face to every single person that worked on the show and did their best to make it something worth watching. And before everyone jumps the gun, because I know it’s coming, we can all save it with the “no one is exempt from criticism” angle, because y’all passed criticism about 8 miles back and it’s now just turned into a full fledge bitchfest where you’re looking for insults on purpose.  But y’all can do you. I’m not bothered by any of it and I’m gonna enjoy every bit of Good Omens 2 🥰
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16th November >> Fr. Martin's Gospel Reflections / Homilies on Luke 17:20-25 for Thursday, Thirty Second Week in Ordinary Time: 'The kingdom of God is among you.’
Thursday, Thirty Second Week in Ordinary Time
Gospel (Except USA) Luke 17:20-25 The kingdom of God is among you.
Asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God was to come, Jesus gave them this answer, ‘The coming of the kingdom of God does not admit of observation and there will be no one to say, “Look here! Look there!” For, you must know, the kingdom of God is among you.’
He said to the disciples, ‘A time will come when you will long to see one of the days of the Son of Man and will not see it. They will say to you, “Look there!” or, “Look here!” Make no move; do not set off in pursuit; for as the lightning flashing from one part of heaven lights up the other, so will be the Son of Man when his day comes. But first he must suffer grievously and be rejected by this generation.’
Gospel (USA) Luke 17:20-25 The Kingdom of God is among you.
Asked by the Pharisees when the Kingdom of God would come, Jesus said in reply, “The coming of the Kingdom of God cannot be observed, and no one will announce, ‘Look, here it is,’ or, ‘There it is.’ For behold, the Kingdom of God is among you.”
Then he said to his disciples, “The days will come when you will long to see one of the days of the Son of Man, but you will not see it. There will be those who will say to you, ‘Look, there he is,’ or ‘Look, here he is.’ Do not go off, do not run in pursuit. For just as lightning flashes and lights up the sky from one side to the other, so will the Son of Man be in his day. But first he must suffer greatly and be rejected by this generation.”
Reflections (6)
(i) Thursday, Thirty Second Week in Ordinary Time 
Have you ever found yourself looking for something and then discovering that it has been there ‘under your nose’ all the time? In the gospel reading, the Pharisees ask Jesus when the kingdom of God was to come. They failed to recognize that it has been there under their noses all the time. It was present in the life and ministry of Jesus, as he goes about healing the sick, proclaiming the year of God’s favour, gathering a new community around him of men and women from all walks of life. God has been ruling in and through all that Jesus has been saying and doing. As Jesus says to the Pharisees, ‘The kingdom of God is among you’. The kingdom of God has not yet fully come. As Jesus goes on to tell his disciples, that will only happen when Jesus, the Son of Man, returns in all his glory. In what sense is the kingdom of God already among us today? It is among us when the sick and vulnerable are cared for, when people experience God’s favour in and through our lives, when communities are formed that value and treasure every member. The first reading speaks of Wisdom as a reflection of God’s light and an image of God’s goodness. The kingdom of God is among us whenever anyone of us reflects to others something of the light of God’s love, whenever we show ourselves to be an image of God’s goodness. If the risen Lord stood among us today, he might say to us what was said to the Pharisees, ‘the kingdom of God is among you’. He would invite us to lift up our eyes and see the signs of the presence of God’s kingdom among us, here in our own parish, in our communities, in our own homes. 
And/Or
(ii) Thursday, Thirty Second Week in Ordinary Time
Sometimes we can miss something of great significance. It is there before us but we do not see it. In this morning’s gospel reading the Pharisees ask Jesus when the kingdom of God was to come. In reply Jesus says to them, ‘You must know, the kingdom of God is among you’. They failed to see that the kingdom of God was present to them in and through the person of Jesus. They were not alert to the signs of God’s kingdom in the ministry of Jesus. The kingdom of God was there but in a less dramatic form than they expected it. The gospel reading reminds us that the Lord is present in our lives in more ways than we realize. His presence does not always admit of observation in the words of today’s gospel reading. It will often be un-dramatic, without fanfare. Yet the Lord is really present especially in the words and deeds of people that build up and heal and bring life. The Lord has assured us that we will never be without his presence. What we need are eyes to see and ears to hear, the eyes and ears of faith. Like the disciples earlier in Luke’s gospel we need to pray, ‘Increase our faith’.
And/Or
(iii) Thursday, Thirty Second Week in Ordinary Time
I like that poem by Joseph Mary Plunkett which begins, ‘I see his blood upon the rose and in the stars the glory of his eyes’. All of nature spoke to him of Jesus. He recognized the Lord in the wonder and diversity of God’s creation. He had a keen eye, a spiritual eye. The Pharisees in the gospel reading this morning lacked that keen eye. They asked Jesus when the kingdom of God was to come, yet they were blind to the signs of God’s kingdom already present to them. As Jesus says to them, ‘You must know, the kingdom of God is among you’. Jesus was referring to all that was happening in his ministry, all that he was saying and doing. The God of life was powerfully at work in the ministry of Jesus and yet many people could not see that; instead they felt threatened by him. The God of life continues to work powerfully among us in and through the risen Lord, in and through the Holy Spirit. What Paul calls the fruit of the Spirit is there to be observed in people’s lives, the first fruit of the final harvest of the kingdom of God. We need eyes to see the signs of the kingdom in our midst. We come before the Lord in our blindness, asking him to help us to see.
And/Or
(iv) Thursday, Thirty Second Week in Ordinary Time
The question that the Pharisees put to Jesus shows a preoccupation with the future coming of the kingdom of God. ‘When will the kingdom of God come?’ In response, Jesus directs their focus from the future to the present. The kingdom of God, the days of the Son of Man, may not have come in all its fullness and the timing of that future coming can never be calculated. Yet, the kingdom of God is to some extent already present, in and through the ministry of Jesus, ‘You must know’, Jesus says, ‘the kingdom of God is among you’. Jesus would say the same to us today. The present is not all God would want it to be. That is why Jesus teaches us to pray in the prayer he gave us, ‘thy kingdom of God’. Yet, the seeds of God’s kingdom are already present among us. The rule of God is already working itself out in the lives of those who are seeking to live by the values of Jesus, who strive to walk in his way and to live by his truth. Those seeds are present in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. We need eyes to see the many signs of how God is working among us through his Son and the Spirit. Recognizing those seeds will give us confidence that the final harvest will come. In the words or Paul’s letter to the Philippians, we can be confident that God who has begun this good work among us will bring it to completion.
And/Or
(v) Thursday, Thirty Second Week in Ordinary Time
Many people ask questions of Jesus in the course of the gospels. Jesus does not always answer the question in the way that people might expect. In this morning’s gospel reading, the Pharisees ask Jesus when the kingdom of God was to come. They heard him proclaim, ‘the kingdom of God is at hand’, and they wanted him to set a date for its coming. It was a ‘when’ question, but Jesus did not give a ‘when’ answer. Yes, there will be a time in the future when the kingdom of God will come in all its fullness, when the Son of Man will come in great power and glory. However, Jesus does not go down the road of calculating the timing of this future event. Rather, he draws attention to the here and now. The kingdom of God in all its fullness may be a future reality, but there is a sense in which it is already a present reality. As Jesus says to his questioners, ‘the kingdom of God is among you’. The kingdom of God is in your midst, if only you had eyes to see it. It is present in what Jesus is saying and doing. The kingdom of God is present among us today, because Jesus, now in his risen form, continues to move among us, in word and in deed. The kingdom of God may be hidden, like the mustard seed in the soil or the leaven in the flour, but it is here among us in all its transforming power. When we feel low in ourselves or we feel discouraged about the state of the church, we need to repeat to ourselves those words of Jesus in today’s gospel reading, ‘the kingdom of God is among you’.
And/Or
(vi) Thursday, Thirty Second Week in Ordinary Time
In the gospel reading, the Pharisees ask Jesus when the kingdom of God was to come, and Jesus replies that it is already here, ‘you must know, the kingdom of God is among you’. The kingdom of God was already present in and through the ministry of Jesus, in his preaching and teaching, is his healing of the sick, in his seeking the lost, in his including the excluded. Jesus goes on to acknowledge that the kingdom of God has not yet fully arrived. That will only happen when, as he says, the day of the Son of Man comes, when the Lord comes again in glory at the end of time. However, in many respects this future is already present, even if not fully present; the coming rule of God is already at work in the here and now through Jesus, our risen Lord. Jesus could teach us to pray, ‘Father, thy kingdom come’, while also declaring, ‘the kingdom of God is at hand’. We all might be tempted to ask the question the Pharisees ask in the gospel reading, ‘When will the kingdom of God come?’ We are very aware that the world in which we live, with its various earthly kingdoms, is a long way from being the kingdom of God; we easily recognize that God’s will is not being done on earth as it is in heaven. Yet, Jesus’ response to the Pharisees’ question invites us to be attentive to the signs of God’s kingdom that are already among us. Wherever God’s love that filled the life of Jesus finds some expression in any human life, there the kingdom of God is present. It is above all when we are tempted to become discouraged at the state of our world that we need to become more attuned to those signs of God’s kingdom that are all around us.
Fr. Martin Hogan.
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mischiefashale · 1 year ago
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If all of these people turning into mist is supposed to be an explanation for why Alison isn't dead then she should have turned into damn mist too.
I wish these guys remembered that the light comes from the same place as the music. I wish to see these battles.
Remember who you are. Is this the Lion King?
Eli wolfing out for the first time right after he loses his dad is a much better narrative.
OMG Allison is about to push Scott off of Pride Rock bahahaha. Lion King indeed.
Of course he would stab himself instead of just knocking her out.
Jackson continues to give me life.
Peter Hale crawling around sniffing on pride Rock is going to live rent free in my head forever.
He had to be that close to the ground to smell blood? I don't even care it's just amazing.
"don't fight the Oni, kill them." Leave it to Lydia to be the voice of reason.
He knew that was the plan and still stabbed himself anyways. Oh for the love of God.
Lydias love of chemistry is showing.
How did Jackson not know that Rowan trees become mountain ash?
Okay fine I can ship Malia and parish as long as it means her getting a man who's on her level.
"Then I'm definitely not dying tonight.." lol
She should be having flashbacks to her sewing Scott up.
This shit is killing me.
That wolfsbane should have gone to his heart and killed him already.
He's definitely gonna stick his claws in her neck.
I love Derek's excitement at Eli learning to heal.
Yassss obligatory lacrosse scene.
So is BH big enough for a college or did they walk across Beacon County.
Supposed to be dead is now just "starting to become a recurring theme" STARTING!?!?!
Omfg it's been awhile since I read spoilers I forgot it's HARRIS as the big bad. HARRIS!?!?!!
I hope someone punches Jeff Davis.
Omfg I have so many better Ally resurrection stories.
Only responds to fire and the wolfsbane you shit him with! FFS
What in the fucking rewrite of canon is happening here?
You want to live or not? With a road flare? I guess it makes sense since he almost died by one oh wait and there's the flashbacks.
That is Def Stiles Jr
And then she just leaves to find her dad? Like omg maybe stick together.
Jeff Davis really has no qualms about giving big grown up feelings to emotionally stunted children.
Jackson can touch mountain ash now?
Omfg yes it is HARRIS. I can't decide if it's Pete Jackson to not remember the teacher that had a hard-on for him or not.
But I am dying at Jackson being like I was in London for all of that.
I'm also loving the look on a coach's face as soon as he see Scott McCall. "you are not ruining this for me."
HE IS NOT PLAYING LAX! NO NO NO WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? Why is this Coaches solution?
We all know that should say number 24.
If I didn't hate this narrative so much I would think that Harris would be actually a good villain.
Coyotes breaking into the house is why Derek doesn't transform? I would most certainly think that the smell of a predator like a werewolf would have kept the coyotes at Bay.
And why wasn't Derek turning into a wolf all the time to let his son play with him and his puppy self.
I hate that this is the reason she left Stiles.
How the fuck is Harris alive? Tho?
Bahahaha Greenburg.
But really was there a reason that Scott had to join him on the field?
Of course Scott can take being stabbed legitimately in the heart and still talk but Peter gets a little cut on the hand and he's down for the count.
Omg Malia is my favorite. "Okay what do you need? You need a pep talk one of those you can do this speeches? I don't do speeches I don't do pep talks. I'm not here to boost your ego. And I'm not going to be your cheerleader. So whatever you need to do to get your shit together, you're going to do this for yourself, and you got to do this right now."
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