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#happy 11/11 this is the next stop on my ‘getting back into things I liked in middle school’ tour that I’m apparently having
iconicshrub · 2 years
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🍭NEVER WANNA BE MYSELF AGAIN!🍭
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arionawrites · 6 months
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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stereax · 6 months
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woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way
but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D
anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎
#sterechats :)#09:58 pm - this is a bad idea but scheduling it anyway#what's the worst that can happen really? everyone leaves again? nobody talks to me again?#probably gonna delete this in the morning so. meh. not like it matters not like I matter :D#10:29 pm - wow it feels like my head is on fire#like my brain is actually burning and I can't do a damn thing about it#I should be happy right now! the devils are winning! my favorite guys are scoring!#but no! I'm barely keeping it together around my family and praying I don't wake up tomorrow <3#11:00 pm - I need to get out of here#I need to get out of here out of here out of here I can't stay here any more this is killing me#everyone hates me and I need to chew my arms open maybe then everything will make sense#why am I even writing these tags what does it matter#I was so much more in control of myself when I was sh-ing#maybe I should get back to that maybe it'll help I don't know anymore#I just want my friends back but they hate me hahahaha#11:24 pm - wonder how many people are gonna block me after this one#how many people will finally be fed up and leave for good#everyone leaves and I should be used to this by now#here's a truck stop instead of saint peter's (yeah yeah yeah yeah)#11:41 pm - it's friday afternoon/there goes antigone to be buried alive#in the next world I want to be something useful/like a staple gun/or in love#I would fall off a cliff for you/a thousand times and call it a good day#maybe I'm just incapable of being human! maybe that's it!#maybe I'm not even human at all... but something worse instead...#1:22 am - moving the posting of this back from 3 to 6 am#not that that matters and not that I matter but I don't think I'll sleep#and I don't want this to post when I'm awake#I know I'm just going to get unfollowed and blocked and left behind as always#because happiness and good things and friendships just aren't things I get to have really#I just wish people would stop lying and telling me they're different and they'll stay when they're not different and won't stay
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haemosexuality · 1 year
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these past few days i have been uncharacteristically. emotionally open. w my friend and it has me thinking about how truly for all of my life i just did not expect anything from anyone
#like since i was a kid i just accepted in my head that all the ''friends'' id have were ppl who either were just putting up w me (probably#bc they had no one else and i was like. what was available) or ppl who cared ab me yeah but i was still their second or third choice#and i was just like. yeah ok. i can survive w that. like consciously i made the choice to hang out w people i knew didnt really like me#bc it was better than not having anyone to talk to#did it hurt any less when those ppl eventually stopped talking to me or i learned theyve been talking about how annoying i am to others?#no it didnt. bc i still cared about Them and had Them as my first choice. but i just thought. thats just how it is. im jist not really#likeable. so ill take what i can get#when i was like 7 or 8. i had one friend at school. and she had like some issues at home or smth idk but sometimes she would just start.#treating me badly or just ignoring me for months at a time. and its not like it deeply traumatized me or anything i honestly didmt remember#this fact until like last year but the thing is that i just. accepted it. i was just like yeah ok for half of the year or so my only friend#will act like she hates me and ill have no one to talk to. thats fine. ill just wait until next year when she likes me again. at age 7. and#now im just like what the fuck man why did i just accept that as my life. through all my childhood and then with other friends in my teen#years why did i never not once try to do better for myself. yknow?#when i was 11 and in another school my best friend suddenly started not talking to me. after a month or so of this i decided to invite her#to my house to play like we had done so several times before and she just looked at me like she was confused i was talking to her at all#and said ''why?''. and i was just like. ok. thats that i guess. genuinely why did i just accept these things#and like yeah i have friends that i feel Get me now and one i love just so much and i can tell loves me back but theyre online. i dont talk#to anyone irl. i dont know how. and im happy im so happy but im also scared that im just doomed to be extremely lonely forever irl#because i am legit just not likeable. not to be a weird a weirdo but yeah im just too different from ur average person my age i cant#connect with them in any way. and i also dont know how to talk to people or make friends or to find people that are like me. ill just#not have anyone forever#i guess#especially bc now i dont hate myself enough to hang out with people i dont like so like. i dont even have that as an option skdbskdjks#Every friend i ever made happened bc the other person reached out to me first and insisted on it. all the friendships that stuck were the#gay autistic/adhd weirdonerds who can relate to my hyperfixations and dont expect me to act Normal™. idk how to find the former group irl#and have never once iniciated a friendship. my fate is to be someone who has online friends only and exclusively#and dont even get me STARTED on the topic of having a girlfriend someday-#anyways. certified magnus archives moment
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thefandomthings · 6 months
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Zuko x reader
"That's not what I meant, and you know it."
Betrayal
Hurt prompt #11: "That's not what I meant, and you know it."
Pairing: Zuko x F/Gn!reader
Warnings: Angst, No comfort, Established relationship, !!SPOILERS¡¡, Takes place in Book 2. Ep. 18
Notes: Oh boy, I have so many avatar requests, it's amazing. Thank you guys for participating in my event it makes me so happy! Tell me if y'all want a part 2.
Prompt Event Part 1 Part 2
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All you felt was pain, deep inside your chest. Watching your boyfriend take sides against the avatar once again was brutal. What made it even worse was Iroh was to be imprisoned, you would hold the same fate if you were captured.
You stood next to Katara and Aang, Azula and Zuko on the opposite side of the cave. Azula held the same malicious grin on her face, watching the three of you with smugness.
"My, my Y/n. You seem so down, how sad." She mocks you with a slight chuckle. Zuko gives her a glare, his eyes wandering back to you. They are full of guilt, pleading for forgiveness from you. Practically begging you to understand why he did it, to come with him.
"Leave Y/n alone, Azula." Zuko grunts, getting in a fighting stance with his sister. Azula clicks her tongue and rolls her eyes at her brother.
"They're the enemy now, Zuzu. Can't protect them forever." Azula laughs, blue fire erupting from her fists.
The blue flurries of fire woosh past you fastly. Katara quickly blocks the fire with her water. Using her octopus arms she slashes and whips at Azula, both going back and forth. The ground beneath the five of you shakes and cracks.
Aang and Zuko are going at it hand to hand. You watch out of the corner of your eye as Zuko takes a hit by Aangs wind, sending him flying back into one of the crystal pillars. Your heart stops, skipping a beat as Zuko groans.
You curse under your breath and run towards him, Aang is calling your name frantically. You slid against the rock surface and get the few rocks that landed on Zuko off. He lets out a huff of air, the weight of the rock off of his chest allowing him to breath.
He's quick to sit up, using his hands, he does a walk over away from you. Your heart felt like it was stabbed, watching as he gets in a protective stance. He knows you'd never hurt him on purpose, and he'd never hurt you.
"Why are you doing this, Zuko? Why are you so desperate to gain your honor back?" Your voice is meek, tears gathering at your waterline, blurring his figure.
"You know why I have to, Y/n. This is my chance to prove to my father I am worthy."
Zukos heart physically aches, seeing your tears making him question everything. He never wanted to hurt you, never wanted to put strain on your relationship. You're his everything, you've been with him since the beginning along with Iroh. Loving him even when he didn't love himself.
"But Zuko, when you get home and see your father, will he even except you? What if he hurts you again, or what if he tries to kill you?" You plead, knowing this isn't him. He's just confused and fighting himself.
Zuko stays quiet, thinking over your words carefully. You have a point. His father could easily do all of those things, Azula to. Does he really want to go through with this? Having Uncle imprisoned, possibly you too?
He closes his eyes tightly, fists clenched at his side. He lets out a long breath, salty tears slide down his cheeks as he looks back up at you again.
"He won't. I'm sorry Y/n. You can't change my mind. I'm going home." He lifts his fists back into a defensive stance, hands trembling.
"Please...Please forgive me."
You let out a strangled sob at his words, heart clenching and shattering. Zuko grits his teeth, holding back his own cries.
"Get out of here, before Azula realizes I haven't killed you." Without realizing it, Zuko was beside you. Taking you into his arms, he holds you as close as he can. His lips pressing multiple kisses to your head. His nose buried in your hair, taking in your shampoo scent one last time.
"Does this mean you don't love me anymore? Since you're leaving?" You asked, face hidden in his neck, tears hitting his skin like rain. Zuko squeezes you softly, kissing the apples of your cheeks.
"That not what I meant, Y/n. And you know it." He pulls away from you, taking a few steps back to create distance.
Water then wraps around his waist sending him flying. You scream his name as Katara takes you in her arms. You sob holding onto Katara as she sees you down.
"It'll be alright, Y/n. I promise." She hugs you tightly, the sound of wind echos in the cave as Aang enters the avatar state. Suddenly lighting cracks, blue electricity shoots towards Aang. Shooting into his back like a spear.
"AANG!" You and Katara race towards him, watching as he falls, his body is lifeless. Katara catches him, tears falling from her eyes. You use your bending to keep the three of you protected as Katara holds Aang and bends up the waterfall.
Zuko watches as the love of his life disappears. He lets out a sob, his fist pounding the ground.
He's sorry. So, so sorry. He never wanted to hurt you, cause you this much pain. Yet he has, and he might never, ever be able to fix it.
He hopes you're safe, and he'll come and find you when the time is right before it's to late.
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youreverydayfangirl · 4 months
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but daddy i love him
pairing: charles leclerc x australian! reader
summary: where people have things to say about your relationship, or in which it all gets to much for y/n
warning: age gap relationship, slutshaming, angst, death threats
a/n: i have a pt 3 planned don't worry guys
pt 1 is here!!! pt 3 is here!!!
f1 masterlist
main masterlist
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arthurleclerc has posted one story
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caption: best future sister in law
liked by charlesleclerc, yourusername and 24, 386 others
charlesleclerc how is she
arthurleclerc shes fine
charlesleclerc take care of her please
arthurleclerc ofc i will
yourusername HELP whyd you post this one
arthurleclerc cause you low key look weird asf 🤷🏼
arthurleclerc also im legit standing next to you whyd you have to text me
user1 so she got to you
arthurleclerc leave her alone man shes legit done nothing
user2 ew
arthurleclerc how bout you fuck off
yourusername has posted one story
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caption: revenge
liked by charlesleclerc, arthurleclerc and 345, 795 others
charlesleclerc hes gonna kill you
yourusername oh well
charlesleclerc how are you
yourusername fine
arthurleclerc im gonna kill you
arthurleclerc take this down
yourusername no you wont
yourusername you like me to much too
arthurleclerc true
user1 slut
user2 going for the more age appropriate one now
user3 cant just have one can you
yourusername has posted
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liked by charlesleclerc, olivia rodrigo and 3, 278, 217 others
yourusername happy international womens day. celebrating the women closest to me
tagged: lilymhe, francisca.cgomes, sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo, carla.brocker, yourmothersusername, pascaleleclerc
francisca.cgomes my fav omg
→ yourusername your literally the bestest friend in the whole world
lilymhe hate that photo tbh
→ yourusername wdym you literally look STUNNING
→ user1 shes so not a girls girl
sabrinacarpenter not stop i miss you
→ yourusername i miss you more girl
oliviarodrigo well hangout when your tour finished trust
→ yourusername ofc i wouldn't have it any other way
carla.brocker thank you for dealing with arthur today omg
→ yourusername lol sure anytime
→ arthurleclerc HEYYY
→ user2 ew shes such a slut
→ arthurleclerc pipe down user2
yourmothersusername my gorgeous daughter
→ yourusername love you mummy
yourmothersusername my gorgeous daughter
→ yourusername love you mummy
pascaleleclerc couldn't be happier to have you in our family
liked by creator
pascaleleclerc thank you for taking charles off our plates
→ yourusername ofc but you have to take him on saturday hes getting clingy
→ charlesleclerc heyy
→ yourusername sorry mon amor but its true
user3 she saw twitter and had to shut it down real quick
→ user4 no fr tryna act like they acc like her
yourusername has posted
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liked by francisca.cgomes, charlesleclerc and 4, 786, 374 others
yourusername life before i have to go back on tour
tagged: fransisca.cgomes, gomezzzlife
charlesleclerc 🤍
fransisca.cgomes STUNNING
→ yourusername SAYS YOU
user1 acting as if its a chore to be on tour
user2 imagine not liking your fiances comment
→ user3 no fr fr
user4 go die slut
yourusername has posted
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caption: race day
liked by charlesleclerc, francsica.cgomes and 128, 879 others
charlesleclerc you look gorgeous today
yourusername charlie 🤍
francisca.cgomes HOT
user1 ABSOLUETLY NOT
user2 byeee
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yourusername has posted
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liked by sabrinacarpenter, oliviarodrigo and 11, 237, 456 others
yourusername but daddy i love him out now
COMMENTS ON THIS POST HAVE BEEN DISABLED
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INCOMING PHONECALL
charles
my love
whats going on
you
charlie
im sorry
you
i just can't do this anymore
its all too much
charles
what
what are you talking about
you
i can't do us anymore
i love you so much
but everythings to much
their all to much
charles
fuck them
they don't know our relationship
they don't know how much i'm in love with you
please we can figure something out
you
i can't charlie
i'm sorry
i just need space
CALL ENDED
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charlesleclerc has posted one story
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liked by pierregasly, francisca.cgomes and 567, 892 others
COMMENTS ON THIS POST HAVE BEEN LIMITED
__________________________
a/n: part two guys!!! lmk if you want a pt3 becuase i have one planned.
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livwritessometimes · 2 months
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I LOVE YOU!
: Part 11 (Oscar's Version)
: It's bout time Oscar comes clean about his feelings
: Prev | Next
: Series Masterlist
: Main Masterlist
: author’s note - I almost had a heart attack!!! this fic was scheduled and it did not release and it wasn’t showing in the scheduled section and I almost lost it
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“Oscar??” Y/n said, confused, as she made her way towards the man in front of her. 
“What are you doing here?” She asked as she finally got a better view of the comp science major standing under the lights that cast a soft glow on his face. 
"Y/n," Oscar said, a hint of nervousness laced his voice. "I'm glad you came!" he said.
"Wait, are you the one who left that message??" Y/n asked. Not bothering to wait for a reply, she continued, "How did you even do that? Wasn't Mr. Stella working on it? So how did you even get the chance to change that? Unless you were working on it with him. Is that what you were doing? Why? First you ignore me, keep on making excuses, ditch me to hang out with another girl, and then when I get someone else to help me with this, you go behind my back and work on it?? How does that even make sense? Osc-" Her ramble was cut short with Oscar suddenly shouting, "Stop! Y/n, would you please stop for the love of God and let me explain?" 
The girl instantly fell silent, waiting for the boy to continue. "Yes, I changed the form so that you could get the coordinates. I had gone to Mr. Stella and begged him if I could work on the form and finish what I had started with you," Oscar said.
"Why? Why would you do all that? Because I told you I don't need your help? Is that why you decided to call me here late at night? and for what?" Y/n said, feeling herself get teary-eyed by the sudden outburst of emotions. "Do you not want me to do well in the assignment? Is that what this is because if that is why you are doing all of this Oscar Piastri, I swear to god?" 
"I did this because I LOVE YOU," Oscar blurted out; he could not take it any longer. He could not keep his mouth shut and watch the girl he loves think he did all of this out of spite.
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Y/n felt her heart stop. This was not what she was expecting when she left her house today in hopes of finding the person behind the mysterious message. "What??" Y/n said, in fact, that was all she could get herself to say.
"I love you; I have for a while now. Daniel had texted me one day saying that he's happy to see me happy with you, and I freaked out. I know that this was no excuse for me ignoring you, and I'm really sorry for that. But I didn't know how else to react," Oscar said, staring down at the ground, refusing to look at Y/n. 
"I've never felt like this; all my life I never felt like the need to be with someone, and so I never bothered with it. But the more time we spent together for the project, the more I realized that I did not want it to end. And so I started to make excuses just so we could spend more time working on the project. But I didn't realize that doing so would make it end sooner," he said. "Lily was just working with me on one of our assignments; I never thought you'd think that I was dating her. I never meant for things to get so complicated between us. I understood your decision to work with my professor, and I'm sorry I went behind your back to work on the project. Please don't get angry with him; he was very hesitant to let me do this in the first place. I just hope that we can still be friends." Oscar finally finished and looked up at Y/n.
Both Y/n and Oscar had taken a seat at one of the chairs kept outside, and for a good five minutes no words were exchanged between the two. Suddenly, Y/n got up and said, "I'm sorry, Oscar, but I have to go," and without waiting for him to reply, Y/n walked out of the cafe.
Leaving a confused and heartbroken Oscar behind.
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Tags: @regalbanshee | @be-your-coffee-pot | @mrsbrxkkxr | @princessria127 | @moonraysandstars | @prettiest-at-the-party | @theblueblub | @magixpracticality | @slytherinholland | @overlyexcitedoutlaw | @marvel-at-stucky | @crumbssss | @a-beaverhausen | @felicityforyou | @gigigreens | @jas0nluvr | @khaylin27 | @imsiriuslyreal | @cwiphswmwasohmm | @wobblymug | @e-nonsense | @raizelchrysanderoctavius | @brekkers-whore | @vintagefucksstuff | @aexitizen-ln4 | @redstappen | @iamred-iamyellow | @tsireyasgf | @ghost-of-student-sufferings | @saachiep81 | @lozzamez3 | @ravisinghs-wife | @elizamoe133 | @anthonylockwoodandco111 | @formulaal | @luvsforme | @annabellelee | @a-disturbing-self-reflection | @emryb | @grovelingmen | @illicit-affcirs | @iwilleatyourgod | @youre-on-your-ownkid | @originaldreamerdragon | @landorris | @mountvesuvu | @chezmardybum | @littlegrapejuice | @spitesfvl-blog | @juleshadalittlelamb | @vicurious28 | @niyu2208 |
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adollrable · 5 months
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Under the same moon.
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✧ summary: where it's your birthday and your boyfriend is on a mission far from home.
✧ cw: female reader x leon kennedy (re4r), fluff, just him being a cutie pie and the boyfiest boyfie ever (⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿
✧ wc: 1387
a/n: I'M SCARED, this is my first time writing something COMPLETELY in english so... if something looks kinda silly forgive me 😞 english is not my first language but feel free to give me feedback!
my birthday was two days ago and i kinda want it to write something so, if someone is reading this on their birthday, happy birthday!!! 🤲🏻
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11:45 PM. You were pacing around your apartment. Brushing your teeth, doing your skin care routine, pulling out the softest cotton sheets you have at your disposal.
You looked at the calendar that sat on the nightstand next to your bed, your eyes drifting towards the next day's date. Your birthday.
You weren't that excited, the printed number that indicated your day of birth wasn't marked with a red marker that circled it. The date Leon would return was.
Originally, your boyfriend's absence wouldn't interfere with your birthday. He would be with you on your special day. But you thought back to the call you had with him a few days ago, with him trying to get a signal to tell you that he couldn't make it on time and that he was really sorry.
You understand. It doesn't bother you, but you wish he was by your side now.
His job was complicated, and he explained that he couldn't tell you much from it. As far as you know, he's in Spain, rescuing someone. You don't know who, but it must be someone important.
11:55 PM. Five minutes to midnight. Five minutes until another return to the sun happens for you.
You laid down on your bed, covered by the sheets that hugged your body. You took the pillow that Leon usually uses and wrapped both arms around it, seeking comfort to avoid missing him so much.
Tomorrow would be just another day. Sure, your friends will congratulate you, you will receive calls from your family at extremely early hours of the morning, and you will repeat "thank you, I appreciate it" like a broken recorder for each call and message.
Gifts don't matter, much less a cake, or a party. The only thing you want is for the love of your life to return soon and you can be together.
Rolling between thoughts, you were able to fall asleep.
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12:00 PM. Finally your birthday.
Your cellphone vibrated with every message that one of your friends or your family sent you congratulations. The light from the device breaks into your not-so-deep sleep, since not even ten minutes had passed since you closed your eyes.
Sheet off you, you stopped hugging the pillow and with a soft grunt reached for your phone, checking notifications with squinted eyes.
You lowered the brightness of your cell phone because of that annoying burning in your eyes and now with more comfort, you wandered around the notifications you had, until one caught your attention completely.
Leon ♡: "Happy birthday, baby. I love you so much."
A smile began to form on your face, and without hesitation you unlocked your cell phone to answer him.
Thanks, Lee :( I miss you and I love you
You weren't expecting a response, after all, he must be busy, right? In Spain it must have been your birthday hours ago, but he still bothered to wait for it to come where you are.
Leon ♡: I miss you too, how have you been?
You didn't think he would have time to respond, but you also didn't want to spend three days without hearing from him, so you took advantage of the opportunity.
I've been fine... I haven't done much, just work and back home :( how about you?
Leon ♡: Tired, but all good. Missing you most of all the time. Tell me, have you done anything interesting?
Does missing you count? :[
Leon ♡: Yeah, it counts, sweet thing. I want to tell you something, okay? But let me call you first.
The fact that he was going to call you made you feel good, he may not be with you on your birthday and he is supposed to arrive days later, but one call is enough to lift your spirits.
You were going to answer but your screen lit up with your boyfriend's contact name and the buttons to answer or hang up the call. You pressed the green button and put it on speaker, placing your phone on your chest with a smile. "Hi..."
"Hello, birthday girl." His voice... You could spend hours listening to him speak, even if he was talking about the most boring topic in the world, you would pay attention from start to finish. "How's my baby doing?"
You giggled, there really wasn't much to say, your birthday had started less than an hour ago, "No crazy, exciting party... My friends have congratulated me, as has my family. My parents must be asleep at this time, so I guess when they wake up they'll call me."
"Yeah, they must be resting at this time, huh. You should, too. It's only because of your birthday that you stay up so late." He answered and you could hear his smirk over the phone, making you blush slightly.
"Of course not... I can sleep late whenever I want." And even if you wanted to, you know it's not possible. Once you get home from work and settle into your boyfriend's arms to sleep, you fall deeply into the arms of Morpheus. It's hard not to sleep well when you have a giant boyfriend pillow. "I can't sleep without you here."
"I know, baby, I know... I can't sleep without my sweet girl hugging me like a damn teddy bear." He chuckled and you did it too. Both of you fell into a small silence, it wasn't awkward, it was comforting. "Hey, baby?" He began, as you settled into the sheets.
"Mhm?" You asked, as you looked at the moon through your bedroom window. Her brilliance seeped in and was strong and radiant.
Watching the moon always gave you a certain comfort, knowing that no matter where Leon is, both of you will always be under the same moon and firmament of stars.
A laugh came through the speaker of your cell phone, the same laugh that makes you feel butterflies in your stomach. "Did you see how beautiful the moon is?"
You smiled, humming a small "mhm" in response, before adding, "Yeah... It's full and very pretty. I wish you were here to watch it together."
Leon let out a small sigh, "Yeah, me too, what if you ask the moon for that?" You chuckled this time. It was a silly thing to do, but, why not?
"Like a birthday wish? But if you know it then it won't come true." Leon could hear the pout in your voice, and he smiled to himself. "Maybe there will be an exception this time." He murmured. "Come on, babe. Do it."
With your eyes closed, you let out a sigh, wishing with all your being that Leon could be by your side as soon as possible, and after a few seconds, you heard him speak, "Did you do it?"
"Yeah, I did... Time to wait I guess." Your gaze met that radiant crater that was seen in its maximum splendor, until something began to click in your head.
"Did you see how beautiful the moon is?" There is supposed to be approximately six hours between your location and Spain, so it was impossible for Leon to see the moon shining in its entirety, but you tried not to give too much thought to the matter, since the moon can also be seen during the day, although at lower exposure.
But if he talked about the moon... And how big it looked... That could mean that maybe he...
"The stars look very bright too." He added after.
"But, you know what I think is more bright?" He began, while his footsteps were heard on the cement, signaling that he had begun to walk.
Until he stopped.
"The brightest thing I'm going to see is your face when you look out the window."
That made you get up from your bed, phone in hand while with clumsy steps thanks to the sheets rolled up between your legs, you reached the window and realized everything.
He is here.
And when he saw that look light up on your face, he knew that the moon was nothing compared to how radiant you looked. "Hey, birthday girl."
It seems like the moon was the perfect alibi for Leon to sneak in and surprise you.
Or simply the moon heard your wishes, and fulfilled them on your special day.
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a/n: OKAY... I'M STILL NERVOUS I PUT THIS ON THREE DIFFERENT GRAMMAR CHECKERS BUT I'M STILL AFRAID i suck at writing tbh but this idea was scratching my brain and i thought Hmm why not SO!!! i hope y'all like it :] i appreciate likes and reblogs annnnnd comments i love comments!!! feel free to give me tips to be better at writing or something THAT'S ALL BYE-BYE 🤲🏻
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d1xonss · 5 months
Text
Cigarettes After Sex
✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Reader
✧ Era : Season 11
✧ Pronouns : she/her
✧ Genre : ⚠️ Smut (18+) and a lil bit of angst
✧ Word Count : 5.6k
AN ~ Not a request but I had this idea that I just couldn't get out of my head. Plus I've been in the mood to write something a little spicy since you guys liked the Older oneshots so much. Hope you enjoy!
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Your eyes stayed focused on the pages of the book you were reading in front of you in the smoke filled garage, occasionally turning the pages to continue on with the chapter. In the background you could hear the tools clinking around, along with a few curses that fell from his lips when he couldn’t get something just right. Every once and a while you couldn’t help but look up and stare at him for a few seconds, knowing the real reason you came out here to keep him company while he worked.
Over the past twelve, long years you had known Daryl, you still didn’t exactly know what you were to each other. Some would call the two of you friends, and though that may be true, you always knew there was something a little more there than what meets the eye. And you knew he felt it too, but neither of you were willing to admit that out loud. Too hardheaded, you supposed.
It always caught your attention when he left a few lingering touches on your skin, how he embraced you so dearly as if you were the most important person in the world, or even how he occasionally left a small kiss on your forehead. You couldn’t help but think he did all of these things for a reason, as if to ease you into something that he was always terrified of. And hell, maybe he was easing himself into it too.
You always knew he was never much of a romantic person, he never quite showed interest in anyone else the way he always did with you. Though when he finally did open his heart up to a woman named Leah all those many years ago, he got absolutely crushed in the process, leaving you heartbroken for him as you witnessed him go through it all. In the back of your mind, you hoped it would work out between the two of them because you knew he deserved someone that would treat him right. And though that person may not have been you, it didn’t matter, as long as he was happy. That’s all you had ever wanted for him.
However, you couldn’t help but notice ever since he got hurt, he had been slowly pulling away from you. Not in a way that was drastic, but you always seemed to notice the little things. He had completely stopped showing you affection whatsoever which was very out of character for him considering how close you were. All of the little things he used to do that would make you smile, he had brought to a halt without warning. The only thing that he really did now was just a small squeeze on your shoulder, and that’s only if you were lucky.
It frustrated you slightly, not because of his sudden wall he built up, but because subconsciously he thought you would hurt him the same way she did. He was now scared that the same thing would happen all over again. And it bothered you in a way he could never understand. Because after all you had been through together, he still didn’t seem to know you at all.
“Pass me that screwdriver, will ya?”
Your thoughts cut short when he started to speak, absentmindedly nodding your head as you turned towards the toolbox that was placed right next to you. You dug through them for a moment before you spotted the familiar red handle, grabbing it and stretching your arm out to hand it over to him.
He met your hand halfway as he accepted it gratefully, “Thanks.” he muttered with a small smile, the cigarette still dangling from his lips as he spoke.
You nodded before watching him for another moment, tilting your head to the side, “What’re you fixing up anyway?”
He shrugged as his eyes stayed down, “Just some repairs…nothin too fancy.” he spoke, his eyebrows furrowing as he worked.
“Ah.” you muttered with a small nod, going back to your book as you assumed he didn’t want to be bothered while he focused.
Though upon hearing your small mutter, the quietness taking over the space, Daryl subtly looked back up at you for a moment. He knew things had been different, way different than what the two of you were used to, and a part of him felt bad. Mostly because he knew it was his own fault. He had pushed you away when you had done nothing wrong, and he felt guilty for it every single day.
With that in mind, he cleared his throat as he took a puff from his cigarette, “Ya still want me to teach ya?” he asked, his tone growing softer than before.
You glanced up from your book again, seeing the small smile he had on his face as he reminded you of something you had requested a long time ago. You had rode on the back of his motorcycle many times before, but a part of you wanted to learn how to ride all by yourself. And he clearly remembered.
A smile wormed its way onto your face as well as you nodded, “Yeah…yeah I’d like that.”
He nodded in return as he went back to tuning up his bike, “Gotta start ya off slow though. Can’t have ya crashin into some tree the first time ya get on.”
You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself with a roll of your eyes, “Right, we probably wouldn’t want that. But I think I’ll have a pretty good teacher…I’m not too worried.”
His heart swelled, though you couldn’t see, but that comment touched him in a way, “Yeah?” he asked as he looked back up at you.
You nodded again, “I trust you.”
You trusted him. That little comment meant more to him than you could even fathom. It meant that after all the things he had put you through, all the things he regretted, you still loved and trusted him just the same. He couldn’t help but pause for a long moment as he contemplated all of that, how only a few little words could mean the absolute world.
Though when he was lost in his own mind, the cigarette that he now held between his two fingers, slightly burned his skin as some hot ash fell from the tip. He let out a small noise as he shook it off, only now noticing how smokey the space was from how much he was chain smoking with you in the room. He knew you never cared, but a part of him still felt a little bad.
“Sorry.” he muttered as he raised his hand to fan the area a bit, “Didn’t realize how much I hotboxed ya.” he chuckled a little.
You laughed it off as well, waving him off, “You know I don’t mind. Actually I kinda like the smell.”
He raised his eyebrow a bit at the unexpected comment, looking down to the stick in his grasp as he thought about your words for a moment, “Ya never told me that.” he muttered.
You shrugged, “Never really came up I guess. But I don’t know, it’s always kind of been comforting.”
Daryl silently knew what that meant without you even having to explain. And that only made his chest fill with even more warmth than before, knowing he was the reason behind your words. He knew he meant a lot to you, but just hearing you say that his bad habit was somewhat of a comfort to you, it almost made his mindset shift.
You absentmindedly closed your book as you noticed he grew quiet, “You know any cool tricks?” you asked with a smirk.
He huffed quietly with a small smile, wordlessly taking another hit and holding it for a moment before effortlessly blowing it out in small spurts, the smoke forming into little o shapes in the air. You nodded to yourself as you watched him, “Solid.”
He chuckled a little, “Thank you, thank you.” he said as he bowed his head a bit.
Tilting your head a little, you thought to yourself about any more little tidbits he might have experienced, “Have you ever shotgunned it?” 
He raised an eyebrow at you, “Who’s askin?”
“Me.” you smiled sweetly.
He found himself chuckling again, shaking his head as a few memories came to mind, “Uh yeah…yeah I have.” he admitted a bit sheepishly, hoping you wouldn’t ask for any details.
A hum passed through your lips in response, opening your mouth to speak again, though he seemed to beat you to it, “You ever done anything like that?”
You scoffed, “Who’s asking?”
But he didn’t answer you. He only stared at you with the same small smile, however, there seemed to be something a little more behind his eyes. Though you couldn’t tell what that was, it intrigued you slightly. “No…” you answered honestly.
“Ya wanna try?”
It felt like your heart had dropped and settled into your stomach, swearing that you heard him wrong. “You’re not serious.”
But the smile on his face only grew a little, confirming to you just how serious he was as he nodded for you to come closer to him, “Come here.”
In all honesty he didn’t know what he was doing, and seeing the shock on your face only made the small pit in his stomach grow further, though he didn’t show it. He couldn’t really think in that moment at all about how this could be perceived, all he knew was that he wanted to be closer to you. Suddenly having a craving for it, having been without it for far too long.
A few beats of tense silence passed before you finally found the strength to stand to your feet, moving closer towards him as he stood tall as well. You tilted your head back a bit as you looked up at him, standing just a few inches away as you almost waited for him to instruct you on what to do next. Because in all honesty, you didn’t know what you were doing. 
His eyes traced over your face for a moment, almost wanting to ask you to stand a little bit closer to him, but ultimately he refrained. He knew he couldn’t be greedy with you, not when you were already so precious to him. He only held the cigarette out towards you, watching as your delicate hand took it from his grasp, all while never removing your gaze from his.
“Go on and take a long drag.” he instructed, his voice coming off in an anticipating whisper.
You only nodded your head in response, placing the end of it in between your lips as you slowly inhaled all the smoke it had to offer. Daryl couldn’t help but stare down at your lips the entire time, he studied you in the most mesmerizing way it almost caused you to choke on your own spit. Yet you still couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and it made you grow a little frustrated all over again.
Your heart then fluttered when the smoke filled your lungs, taking the cigarette away from your mouth as you leaned up on your tiptoes to get closer to him. His hand instinctively came up to cradle your jaw as he pulled you even closer to his lips, feeling them barely brush against each other before the blissful feeling would soon wash over the two of you.
Exhaling the smoke, you blew the thick cloud right into his mouth, hearing a quiet groan leave him in response. It surprised you how good it felt, how your skin practically ignited with fire at his simple sound of enjoyment, it made your mind wander to a very dangerous place. His hand didn’t stray away from your face as he inhaled the smoke until he physically couldn’t anymore, the craving he felt only building to a new level as a part of him wanted to taste you. Just for a moment.
But the thought vanished, everything crashing down in an instant as he felt you pull away from his mouth, clearing your throat a bit. His eyes fluttered open to see you standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to say as the two of you had never dared to cross this line before in the past.
“Well, I guess now I can cross that one off the bucket list.” you joked with a small, forced laugh.
“Do it again.”
Your eyes snapped back up to meet his as he spoke with zero hesitation in his tone, not even acknowledging that you made a comment at all. “What?” you asked quietly.
He took a small breath before speaking again, repeating the phrase, “Do it again.”
If you weren’t stunned before, you sure as hell were now as you stood almost frozen before him. To say it was one thing, but to repeat it with such confidence was another. He was serious. What started out as just a suggestion, now turned into something a lot more real.
But you found you didn’t protest. Because you wanted it too.
You then held the cigarette back up to your lips, inhaling it all over again as you were surprised you didn’t cough even once in the whole process. His eyes practically lit up as he saw you repeat the action, mentally preparing himself for the familiar feeling that would hit him all over again. But the thing he couldn’t get past was that he had never felt it before now. He only felt it with you. And it was very surreal.
Your perfect lips parted from the cigarette after what felt like a lifetime of waiting, moving back up to him to exhale the smoke into his mouth once more. The man breathed it in as if he needed it to stay alive, his hands coming up to your arms to hold you in place as if he was scared you would pull away again. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. Not even if you wanted to. The slightest brush of your lips made your breath hitch, but before you could even register what you were doing, you pressed your lips firmly to his. It almost didn’t feel real.
Daryl responded immediately, instantly bringing you into him as he wrapped his arms around you to hold you closer to his chest. Your hands went up to the sides of his face, tilting your head a bit so your noses wouldn’t clash so much, the kiss intensifying in just a split second. It was like all the years of the built up tension, the built up feelings, were now finally being unleashed after so long of waiting. You supposed before it was never the right time, but now, it couldn’t have felt more perfect.
His tongue moved to run along your lips almost teasingly, begging for an entrance as his hands gripped you even tighter. And you accepted his request, parting your lips for him and feeling his excitement grow as he didn’t take it for granted. His tongue swirled rapidly in your mouth, letting out a groan of pleasure as he tasted your sweetness. You shivered slightly at the low rumble you heard from him, something about it turning you on even more as you had never heard that sound from him before. It was like a switch flipped.
He continued to absolutely devour your mouth, his hands now running down the curves of your body in a slow and teasing manner, taking his time. You gasped softly as you felt your skin almost tingling under his touch, wanting to feel him everywhere. So without thinking, you quickly moved your hands down to his chest as you frantically began to try and tear his shirt off of him. Your fingers worked on each of the buttons, though you couldn’t see what you were doing, it all felt like it was happening so fast you almost had no time to prepare yourself.
But in a fit of panic, Daryl quickly pulled back from your mouth as the feeling of you trying to take off his shirt finally registered in his mind. He still remained close to you, but his sudden actions stopped you from yours, your hands freezing in place as it was clear you had pushed him too far. But your expression was filled with confusion and concern as you couldn’t understand why he looked almost scared to go any further.
He sighed as his eyes remained closed, almost ashamed to look at your face as he gently leaned forward to rest his forehead against yours. “I…I can’t.” he whispered.
Your eyes seemed to widen as it clicked in your mind. He hadn’t done anything like this since Leah. Since he had been burned so badly by her. Since he was left shattered and heartbroken because of what she did to him. He opened up to her unlike anyone else, and she left him. A lump formed in your throat as the realization set in for you, seeing just how scared he was for this to potentially happen to him all over again.
“I can’t do this, I…I can’t lose you too.”
You sighed softly as you shook your head, your hands tilting his face up a little more, “Hey, look at me.” 
He simply shook his head, his eyes remaining closed, “Daryl, look at me.” you pleaded quietly.
When he did finally open his eyes, you could see he was starting to tear up, breaking your heart even further. Not only to see how much he was hurting, but how much he was truly terrified to lose you. Although in your mind, that wasn’t even a possibility.
“You couldn’t lose me, okay? Ever.” you whispered, “I’m not going anywhere. You know me…I would never hurt you like that. Never.”
Upon hearing your voice reassure him so sweetly, his tears slowly slipped down his cheeks, watching as he swallowed thickly to try and pull himself together. But you didn’t want him to be embarrassed. You understood more than he probably realized. Which is why you were quick to wipe them away with your thumbs, leaning up to kiss the ones you had missed in hopes to offer him even more comfort.
He shuttered under your touch, quickly finding your lips with his own again as he kissed you deeply, holding the back of your head steady as his lips were filled with passion. You responded to his kiss with hesitance, not wanting to push him again as you didn’t have a clear response to how he was feeling. But once you felt him take your hands, guiding them back up to the buttons on his shirt, you had your answer.
In a flurry of hurried kisses and laughs, nearly tripping over one another as you tried to make it back inside the house, the two of you finally landed on the couch in the living room. Neither of you really cared about trying to make it all the way upstairs, almost as if it was a silent agreement that you were both impatient. You panted heavily as each piece of fabric was being discarded onto the floor faster than you could even realize, yet his hands moved across your skin with such ease and gentleness. The action alone told you a thousand things, and yet he didn’t need to say a word.
You quickly lowered yourself to your knees the second you saw the opportunity, getting in between his legs as he sat on the couch. His eyes widened at your actions, “Aye, you don’t gotta-”
But his words were cut off with a groan as you lowered your mouth to the tip of his dick, darting your tongue out to slowly swirl around and tease him the smallest bit. You knew you didn’t have to, but you wanted him to feel special for once, you wanted him to feel important and loved. And besides, you just couldn’t help yourself as your mouth practically watered at the sight. And the small noises he was letting out as you licked sensually along his shaft, was almost like a reward of some kind.
He threw his head back slightly as his hands went up to hold your hair back for you, feeling you teasingly lower your lips just a little at a time to take more of him in your mouth. It was almost like torture with how slow you were going, but it was also the most enjoyable torture he could even endure. His muscles twitched in anticipation and he was already beginning to sweat, clenching his teeth together all the while.
“Come on,” he muttered breathlessly, talking more to himself than he was to you.
But you still took it as a sign, seeing he had enough and finally lowered your mouth even more to take him further. A shaky moan left his parted lips at your actions, hissing slightly when he felt your teeth barely brushing against him as well, though it wasn’t enough to hurt. Just enough to get his attention. You then began slowly bobbing your head up and down the length of him, swirling your tongue and hollowing out your cheeks to really make him squirm. His hands tightened around your hair in response, another low groan echoing around the room as he basked in the state of pleasure you provided.
His breathing grew heavier and heavier by the second, growing even more sensitive to you as your pace began to gradually pick up, trying to take even more of him in your mouth. You couldn’t lie though, he was bigger than what you had experienced in the past, which made you almost nervous. But hearing what you were doing to him so far, it gave you the right motivation you needed to keep going.
“F-Fuck.” he breathed as the tip of his dick hit the back of your throat, feeling your hands running up and down his thighs as you tried not to gag. Though he felt you struggle a bit, pulling your hair up slightly as if signaling you that you could ease up if you needed, but you didn’t. He felt too good in your mouth for you to want to stop.
Your head then moved a bit faster, taking him as deep as you could as you heard his whimpers and moans, not even trying to hold them back anymore. He wanted to make it known how good you were making him feel, just the sound of it was enough to make you wet, and he hadn’t even touched you yet. Your spit soaked him completely, making it almost easier to take him entirely in your mouth as you felt him hit the back of your throat almost every time with each pass.
His breath hitched, “Oh shit,” he muttered as he tried to regulate his breathing, “Ya need to get up here…come on.” he almost pleaded.
And you didn’t need to be told twice, feeling how hard he was now he was nearly throbbing in your mouth, knowing he was close to falling apart. So your lips slowly parted from his aching dick, leaving a few lingering kisses behind before you slowly stood back up to your feet with a smile. Looking at his face now, he gazed at you as if you put all the stars in the sky, as if you painted him the most beautiful sunset you could’ve ever laid your eyes on. Or as if you had given him the best head of his life.
He watched as you wiped your mouth from the spit that nearly dribbled down your chin, quickly reaching forward to pull you in and crash his mouth against yours, licking your lips completely clean. You giggled in response to his eagerness, attempting to remove your thong as it was the last thing in the way, struggling to kick it off your ankles. Though the moment it hit the ground, you instantly moved forward and broke away from his mouth for only a moment, straddling his hips as you hovered on top of him.
The man nearly gawked at the sight of you, “God…” he muttered as if he couldn’t find the words. But you knew what he was getting at, knowing that his actions always spoke louder than his words ever could. And he only proved that further when he lowered his mouth to one of your breasts, sucking gently at your nipple to elicit a small whimper from you.
You could feel his lip curl up in response to your little noises, his hand coming up to gently massage the other with his rough fingers. The scratchiness of his calloused palms made it even better somehow, the sensation sending a shiver down your spine as you lowered yourself a little more onto him in response. He hummed at your actions, encouraging you to continue as his mouth worked wildly along your breast.
One of your hands then moved down to gently guide his tip towards you, running it up and down your slit to gather the wetness that pooled there. Your chest heaved up and down as you were almost overwhelmed with the tingles running through your entire body, nearly causing you to shake. 
Daryl’s mouth then dragged all across your skin, leaving a small trail of small hickies along your chest, groaning as you continued to play with him a little. Your other hand came up to run through his hair, tilting your head back a little as you dragged his dick up to circle around your pulsing clit. That seemed to cause you both to gasp, the slow and tormenting teasing beginning to be too much as Daryl quickly removed his mouth from you, his hands moving to your hips as if to position you in the most perfect way he could.
You followed his lead as your hands moved up to his shoulders to steady yourself, feeling him move his dick down to your entrance to align himself with you. And when you finally sunk down onto him, it felt like absolute heaven. A long, slow moan left your lips as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, hearing a harsh grunt escape him as he tried to refrain from pounding into you. He knew he needed to take his time, wanting to draw this out for as long as he could as if it were the first and last time. He hoped for more, he prayed for more, but he knew it was never guaranteed.
His forehead fell to rest in the middle of your chest as the two of you basked in the pure errotic experience, slowly managing to move your hips once you were ready. It was slow at first, gradually easing into it as you lowered yourself back down onto him again and again, your hands moving to grip the back of his hair. He groaned as he felt you tug a little at his roots, but in all honesty, he didn’t care. In fact, he liked it.
You moaned softly as you rocked your hips against his, pulling almost all the way off of him before he filled you completely once more. What you were feeling was almost indescribable, not having felt it with any other man you had been intimate with in your entire life. But with him, it felt so different, so incredibly good. Like his body was made for yours, fitting together perfectly like a puzzle piece you had been missing for far too long. And you weren’t the only one feeling like that, with him squirming beneath you, it was just a sign to not stop your movements anytime soon.
You bounced on him at a steady pace as you balanced yourself, feeling his hand travel down to rub slow circles along your clit with his thumb. You nearly cried out in response, your heart racing out of your chest, “Oh fuck…yes.” you breathed as his pace quickened.
“Yeah? Ya like that?” he asked as his face moved close to whisper in your ear, feeling his teeth gently bite down on your earlobe.
Your mouth fell open in response as you gasped, nodding your head frantically, “Yes…yes.” you moaned as you continued to rock against him, feeling your wetness drip all over him with how aroused you were.
“Mmm,” he hummed his mouth traveling down to kiss along your jawline, “You’re doin so good sweetheart.” he breathed as he held back a groan, “So good.”
His praise only spurred you on more, your fingers tugging a bit harder at his hair which caused him to groan, thrusting his hips up into you to match your pace. The sinful sounds that escaped you should never be heard by anyone, you couldn’t even believe you were the one making them. But he was the one to cause all those little reactions, adding something more to push you over the edge. And it was working too, you had felt it ever since you were down on your knees in front of him. The familiar tingling in your stomach was building to the point where it could spill over at any moment.
He panted heavily as he began to suck on the base of your neck, “I love you…God, I love you.” he whispered.
The words threw you off guard for a moment as your eyes widened, but you didn’t stop, nor were you scared to say it back. “I love you too.” you responded breathlessly.
That phrase had gone unspoken between the two of you for years, constantly avoiding saying it to each other for no reason at all. Perhaps it was stubbornness, or just the fear of the feelings not being reciprocated. But for whatever reason, this moment alone brought it out to the open. And it couldn’t have felt better.
Daryl thrusted deeper into you upon hearing your response, causing you to gasp as you felt the string finally snap inside you, releasing your orgasm as your muscles twitched. Feeling you squeezing him, he cursed as he quickly pulled himself out of you in one swift motion, cumming all over your stomach. You could’ve sworn your vision went black for a moment as you slowly came down from your blissful high, not a word being said for a few minutes at least as you both tried to regain yourselves. 
His head rested against your chest again, his lips beginning to leave a trail of kisses up your skin as your eyes were still hazy, leading them up to your neck where he nuzzled his face, pulling you close to his chest. You hummed in response, running your fingers through his hair as you thought to yourself for a moment, finally finding the strength to speak.
“Did you…really mean that?” you whispered hesitantly.
He pulled his face back to look at you, his head still too far up in the clouds that he clearly didn’t hear you. The big grin on his face was evidence of that. “Hm?”
You huffed with a small smile, “The whole…I love you thing…did you really mean it? Or was it like the heat of the moment.”
His brows furrowed in concern as he gently cupped the sides of your face, “Of course I meant it. I love you.” he repeated again, as if to make sure you really heard him.
You smiled in slight relief, “Did you mean it?” he asked with a smirk.
“Yes.” you said with a breathy laugh, “I just…wanted to make sure.”
“I don’t say things I don’t mean, darlin,” he said as he leaned in to rub his nose against yours lovingly, “I’ve always loved ya…my dumbass just took too long to admit it.”
You shook your head in response, “It’s okay. I understand why.”
He sighed quietly as he thought about how much he may have missed out on, how much went down the drain just because he was scared. Not only to have his heartbroken, but to potentially lose one of his best friends if you didn’t feel the same way he did. There was always a risk, but he let the fear consume him, and now he was kicking himself for it seeing how easy it was to be with you. He should’ve always known, and now he felt he was too late.
You quickly noticed his change in his expression and gently tilted his chin up so he’d look at you, “Hey…what’s wrong?”
He shook his head, “M’ just…m’ sorry.”
“For what?” you asked in confusion.
“For not actin on this years ago. For pushin ya away when I was hurtin just because I was nervous about it happenin all over again.” he stopped suddenly to gather his thoughts, “I just feel like I wasted so much time.” he finished with a whisper.
Your face was filled with worry about hearing him apologize for something that he had nothing to be sorry for. It hurt you seeing how much this was affecting him, knowing that the two of you should be happy that it finally happened. Not wanting to dwell on the past.
You leaned in to gently kiss his lips for a moment, pulling away enough to speak, “Well, it’s a good thing we got all the time in the world now.” you smiled.
His eyes slowly filled with a little more hope, “You mean…”
“Yeah,” you nodded, “I love you.” 
He let out a small breath he was unaware he was holding, pulling you close to press multiple kisses all over your face, “I love you too.” he whispered, continuing to trace his lips wherever he could reach, igniting an infectious laugh from you.
It seemed his prayers were answered. 
~ Thanks for reading!
832 notes · View notes
mavrintarou · 7 months
Text
[11:16 PM] Sakusa Kiyoomi
It's been a while since I last posted about Omi-Omi. Happy (belated) Valentine's Day!
Warning: mild angst but reconciled and happy smut (18+)
.
Kiyoomi set his gym bag in the usual spot of his apartment. Tonight, his home felt unusually cold and empty.
Switching the lights on, he is met with two floating balloons and a bag with red and pink hearts printed all over it.
He let out a chuckle and grabbed the bag, pulling out the tissue paper that was stuffed inside. He found all sorts of chocolate inside, his favorite chocolates.
Happy Valentine’s Day, jerk.
Y/n
Kiyoomi released a deep sigh. He and Y/n had gotten into an argument two nights ago, he couldn’t even remember what it was about. But it was 48 hours of silence from Y/n, 48 hours of emptiness.
The phone line rang repeatedly until it went to her voicemail.
He’s sent her three texts and they were left unread.
“C’mon…” he whispered, pacing around his place. “Pick up, please…”
A click came from the other line and he exhaled, “Y/n, thank goodness, where – “
“Hi, this isn’t Y/n but I’m her coworker!”
Kiyoomi frowned, and growled, “where is Y/n?”
“We are at a company dinner and she’s here… a little intoxicated…”
Kiyoomi could hear mumblings in the background, “… who is it…”
“Where are you guys?” he asked, heading to the shoe rack to put his shoes on.
He heard muffling but couldn’t hear clearly.
“… don’t tell him where I am…”
“… he’s mean and I don’t – I don’t wanna see him right now…”
His heart dropped.
“Hi, hello? Are you still there? Omi? Is this Omi with a white heart emoji next to your name? The Omi that is mean?”
“Yes,” Kiyoomi answered defeatedly, “this is Omi.”
“Look,” whoever this person on the other line whispered, “she keeps saying you are mean and she doesn’t want to see you but I secretly know she does, women to women, she wants to see you… we’re… we’re at the XXXX restaurant.” She paused before whispering loudly, “come get your girl!”
.
Kiyoomi’s strides were only half their usual length, and he inserted a two-second pause between each step. Y/n, with a gloomy mood, followed four feet behind him.
Arriving at the restaurant, he discovered her sitting sadly at the end of the table, all alone. Her colleagues were accompanied by their partners, but Y/n was left by herself. Kiyoomi felt a lump of guilt in his throat; he should have been there with her.
Their most recent argument stemmed from this issue. Y/n had requested him to cut short his training if possible for one night, but he declined, emphasizing the priority of his training.
“I’m simply asking if you could leave an hour earlier, or even thirty minutes early to make it to dinner, if it’s feasible. Can you not even manage that?” Her voice was tinged with angst.
“No, you understand how important my training is. I can’t simply leave early for something like this.”
Something like this…
Now, he felt the full weight of guilt engulfing him.
He halted and glanced back, noticing that Y/n had also come to a stop, gazing into the distance. Following her gaze, he spotted a small shop with claw and capsule machines.
He is reminded of his snarky comment about her liking such stupid things.
Walking up to her, he waited until she looked at him. “Let’s go,” he said jerking his head towards the shop.
Her cheeks were still rosy from the alcohol, her eyes weren’t as lively as they should be. “No,” she grumbles, looking away with a pout. “It’s just stupid stuff,” she attempted to walk around him when he caught her wrist and began tugging her towards the store. “What are you doing?”
He ignores her question and tugs her gently along until they get to the change machine. Stuffing a few bills inside to exchange for tokens. “What would you like?”
She looked at the handful of tokens and then his eyes, and with a weary tone she asked, “why are you doing this?”
“Because you like it and it makes you happy,” his tone is gentle and careful, “and I want to see you happy.” He puts a handful of tokens in her palm. “Go, show me what makes you happy.”
Still pouty, she closed her fingers around the token and walked around him.
Kiyoomi smiled to himself, knowing deep down she was excited.
.
“Are you satisfied with your wins?” He stared at the bag full of plushies and capsule toys.
Y/n nodded, restraining a bright smile on her lips. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Seizing the opportunity, Kiyoomi extended his left hand, asking, “can you hold my hand?” He let out a quite breath when she placed her palm in his. They walked side by side in silence.
“Where are we going?” she asked quietly.
“Let’s go grab some junk food at 7/11 and... my place?” He prayed she would come over but instead, she looked at him as if he had two heads. Chuckling, he knew why she was looking at him weirdly. He was completely against eating any junk food, let alone anything from a convenience store. “A little junk food won’t kill me.”
“It might make you sick though?”
“Shh, don’t jinx me like that.”
.
Sure enough, it did make him feel sick.
All he ate was a cup of instant ramen, and within less than an hour, he started experiencing stomach churning.
“I told you,” Y/n scolded, yet concern was written all over her face. She quickly ushered him to lie down on the couch.
If it meant for Y/n to nurse him and show him affection again, the stomach ache was worth it.
He groaned, “it hurts…”
Digging through her purse, she tried to look for her pill box. “Here, take this medication. It’ll help with the tummy ache.”
He accepted the small pill and popped it into his mouth, taking it down with water. He grabbed her hand, “rub my tummy like you did that one time.”
Y/n hesitated, staring at him suspiciously before reaching to push his shirt up to reveal his abdomen. She ignored the ripples of muscles and put pressure on a certain area of his body.
Kiyoomi groaned, feeling instant relief.
She reached for his hand and placed it with hers, “when you have a tummy ache, always press this pressure point.”
She was about to stand up when he stopped her. Panicking he asked, “wait, where are you going?”
“I’m just going to make you some rice soup.”
He still pouted, watching her walk away to his kitchen.
A few minutes later, she returned with a bowl of steaming contents. “Bland, just the way you like it,” she mentioned, taking a seat on the edge of the couch. “How is your stomach feeling?”
“It’ll feel a lot better if you do it…”
Y/n scoffed and slapped his hand away, “you’re such a baby.”
“Correction, I’m your baby…”
Y/n narrowed her eyes at him, “who are you and what have you done to Kiyoomi?”
Kiyoomi’s lips turned downwards. “Omi���” he corrected quietly. When she doesn’t respond he bites his lips nervously. “I’m sorry.”
Her brow raised, and she looked at him as if she didn’t comprehend what he was saying.
“I’m sorry,” he says again, louder this time. “I have been a jerk and insensitive to you… I have not been compromising and mean to you and I’m sorry,” he bowed his head. “I don’t want you to be mad at me anymore. I’ll do better, I promise. Please don’t leave me.” His voice cracked at his last part of his sentence.
“Leave you? Who said I was leaving you?”
“But you didn’t want to see me?”
Y/n frowned, confused. “When did I say that?”
“Earlier on the phone, I heard you telling your coworker that you didn’t want to see me…” very quietly he added, “that hurt my feelings.” He felt childish but he wanted to be honest.
“I didn’t want to see you is very different from I’m leaving you,” Y/n clarified. She sighed, running a hand through her hair before reaching for the bowl of soup. She blew to cool the spoonful of soup before bringing it to his mouth. “I said that I didn’t want to see you because I knew I would give in and forgive you.”
He swallows the soup before asking, “please forgive me?”
“I saw your face so I already forgave you.”
He couldn’t ignore the cheering in his mind. “Do you really mean it? You forgive me for being a jerk?”
“Yes, you jerk.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“But you called yourself that too?” Y/n countered, shoving a spoonful of soup into his mouth. “Eat and feel better.”
Kiyoomi smiles, “… kiss me, that would really make me feel better.”
The corner of her lips tugged upward, “you sly jerk…”
He sits up, bringing his face close to hers. “Please, a kiss?”
She pecks his lips.
He pouted, “that’s not a kiss.”
“Yes it is, my lips touched yours.”
He blinked and then frowned, “that was hardly a kiss…”
Y/n raised a brow, challenging him, “then what’s a kiss to you then?”
And he showed her.
He cupped her face, tilting it before pressing his lips against hers. As soon as she gasped, he slipped his tongue in, meeting hers in a tango.
“Omi…” Y/n breathed, pushing him away to catch a breath.
His lips continued to her jaw and down her neck. “Please Y/n…” he begged, tugging at her tucked-in dress shirt. He pulls away and looks at her with dark pupils, waiting for her consent.
She launched at him, knocking him onto his back once more. Her mouth moved hungrily against his as she tugged at his clothes.
“I’m not going anywhere…” he chuckled.
“You will be if you don’t take help take our clothes off…”
Their clothes lay carelessly on the ground seconds later.
Y/n raised herself and straddled his lap. She rocked her hips, gliding her pussy along the length of his cock.
Kiyoomi hissed loudly as his hands gripped her hip tightly, nails digging into her hip bone. “Don’t –“ he choked, “don’t tease me…” He didn’t miss the smirk on her lips.
Having enough of not being inside of her already, Kiyoomi flipped them and shifted her underneath him. His hand found one of hers and threaded their fingers together, clasping tightly. He searched her eyes and she answered by lifting her hips.
“Haa, you’re going to be the death of me,” he sank his cock into her sweet pussy.
He waited a few seconds, savoring the intimate bond. Kiyoomi peers down at her before pressing his forehead against hers and without breaking eye contact, he whispers, “I love you.”
He doesn’t express those three words as frequently as he ought to, but he can observe the way her eyes illuminate when he does. “I love you, Y/n…” he repeated, rocking his hips slowly but deeply. “I know I don’t say it often enough for you but you are my everything… and I never want to be without you again…”
Y/n released a soft whimper and cupped his face, connecting their lips. “I love you too, Omi…”
It was soft lovemaking.
Each rock of his hips was gentle with care, with love.
“Let’s cum together?”
Y/n nodded, tightening her arms around his shoulders and soon their bodies trembled in release.
Kiyoomi pulls Y/n up and they sit down, still connected very intimately. He reached for the bag of chocolate, took a piece, and unwrapped it before placing it into her mouth. Then, he helped himself to a piece as well.
“Thank you for the chocolate,” he murmurs.
Pressing a kiss to his cheek, she whispered, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Omi.”
. . .
E/n: Going back to Teo now...
>>> @queenelleee @mfreedomstuff @erintaro @callmeraider @chaotic-fangirl-blog @wolffmaiden @cloud-lyy
861 notes · View notes
sst0rmm · 6 months
Text
𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅ in the mornings ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
ft: rin.
notes: just pure sunshine fluff ✧˖°.
part/series: 1.0 2.0 3.0
wc: 1328
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he's doesn't wake you up, and prefers to let you sleep the night away to your heart's content (sleeping makes you happy), and he notices and cares about that.
it's the little things....
rin wakes up early before you. he's always been an early bird, up as soon as the sun rises, and a sleepy saturday is no exception. so you're left to be woken up by the birds chirping and the sun shining and the smell of your favorite food wafting through the open doorway. and you'll get up, slowly walk your way downstairs.
the moment's surprisingly domestic, rin's shirtless and clad in an apron (even though it's a little drafty downstairs), you're in his shirt, and for a second there's nothing but the sound of sizzling bacon reverberating on the walls and making you feel completely at home.
"did you sleep well?" you smile, because you suddenly feel refreshly rejuvenated.
"yeah, i really, really did."
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rin is SUCH a sweetheart dasifjsdiofjjjsfdi LMAOO like...
you cannot prove me wrong once he gets to know you he's literally warm and allasdfjdfoi
and his cooking's mad scrumptious i am telling u
breakfast, as usual is warm and lifts you up. down to your veins, the utter core and heart of your being, because you can tell that he made it with love, and that's most important. and once you're done, you make a move to go do the dishes, but he won't let you. (the man's serious, what can i say?)
"i can do it-"
"don't worry," rin pulls you into a swift hug and you're suddenly surrounded by a cocoon of strong, comforting arms, "i got it."
"but you already cooked? we should split-"
rin looks at you fondly, amusement glimmering in teal eyes. it's a look that can stop time, shatter you, and pick you up anew. it's the look of the sunsets you saw together last september, and it's that look of pure adoration and love.
"you should rest," he whispers as he presses a soft kiss to your cheek that leaves your stomach whirling and your nerves dancing alight. "you're worth it."
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oh if you only knew HOW BAD i need a rin in my life
we all need a rin tbh because he's sooo sweet and so caring when he's comfy around you
+ a little jelly bcs !!!!
this next scene is utter beauty... you'll see...
waking up is hard when you're utterly entangled in the strong arms of the one you love.
the sun hums softly through the windows, blanketing everything in golden radiance. a clear, blue expanse of sky gazes down at you from above. the clock blinks at you in soft red letters the time (11 P.M.), but neither of you seem to make a move to get up.
it’s the power of a sleepy saturday.
a soft murmur (the doorbell) cuts through your haze of thoughts. “i’ll get it-” rin starts but you push the covers back onto him, pressing him back down onto the soft mattress.
“don’t worry, i got it,” you smile, and he wraps you in a warm hug.
“if you’re gone too long, i’ll miss you!” he calls over your shoulder. you smile back at him. it’s so easy to fall back into that comforting, perfect rhythm, where it’s just the two of you. indelible touches and soft warmth, broken down to sand, it’s just the two of you. against the world, fighting together, the two of you.
your heart blossoms with a warmth that swells from your head down to the very core of your being, and sits happily there, a pleasant, steady heat that makes the silence feel so full.
at your door’s a cute, smiling pizza man.
“delivery for y/n?” he smiles down at you, while holding that cardboard box.
“thanks so much!” you turn to grab your wallet from the counter, and come back right after. the air’s crackling with some unspoken tension, and you feel and hear movement behind you, but you disregard it.
inhaling the aroma of cheesy goodness, you feel oddly refreshed.
the man looks you up and down, and you suddenly realize you’re in a ratty set of pajamas and cross your arms over yourself a little self-consciously.
“the weather’s gorgeous today, isn’t it?” the man smiles and you find it in yourself to smile back. he’s just being nice, you chide yourself.
“yeah-” you start, “it really, really is.”
as you move to swipe your credit card across the gleaming screen of the touchless payment scanner, your feet get caught on the rug and you fall down, down, down…
right into the pizza guy’s arms. as your cheeks color and flame, and you murmur a hasty apology and scramble away, the man smirks.
“fell for me already, didn’t you?”
you wince. he’s cute, with warm eyes and dimples, but he’s no rin itoshi. “actually,” you start, “i’m flattered, but i’m not interested.”
the guy looks at you in surprise. “what, do you have a boyfriend or someth-”
immediately, rin’s presence materializes by you as if summoned. it’s a little uncanny, you think to yourself. and you have to admit, seeing rin stare down his opposition is a sight to see.
it doesn’t help the other guy’s case that rin’s fit as anything, either. just the glare he gives his opponents is enough to make them recoil. he crosses his arms over his broad chest and gives the delivery guy a penetrating stare. (you feel a little bad for this poor pizza man). but also, it fills you with molten heat and just love that rin would even care about these little things.
“yeah,” rin drawls underneath the summer sun, “she does have a boyfriend.” he wraps his bicep around your waist and tugs you close.
“so if i were you,” rin leans in towards the guy and whispers, “i’d probably leave now.”
somehow, the pressured worker manages to keep his wits intact. “you haven’t paid-”
“i’ll handle it, y/n,” rin whispers in your ear and waves you off. as you sit down on your sofa and calm your racing heart, you’re hit with such a wave of emotion that your heart weeps. because you’re rin itoshi’s, and he doesn’t care if the whole world knows it.
rin’s by your side minutes later and he sees your tears. “why’re you crying? is it me- don’t cry because of me-” he hugs you close, and wipes away your tears with gentle fingers.
“i’m not sad, rin,” you smile up at him, “happy tears. happy because you love me, and you don’t care if the whole world knows it-”
“even if you are a jealous-”
he pulls you in close and whispers fiercely. “damn right i’m jealous, because i got the best person in the world right beside me. and i’ll never let you go, and i’ll always love you. let the world say what they want to say, because you’re mine.”
“i love you too, rin-”
and then he pulls you into a searing kiss, embedding himself into your very soul and your entire mind is consumed with just rin itoshi. featherlight touches leave trails of heat down your face, and you breathe a soft sigh.
because rin in the mornings (and any other time) is truly just a sight to behold.
“say it,” rin murmurs and pulls away. you’re both breathing a little heavy and he looks at you with such love and emotion in his eyes that you know what he needs.
“i’m yours.”
the next kiss sends off fireworks in your heart and ignites your world in a blaze of life because you’re rin’s, he’s yours, and the two of you together are unstoppable.
there will be ups and downs. highs of unimaginable greatness and lows and worlds of hurt. but you’ll get through it.
together.
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OH MY GOD MWA MWA MWA AHHHHHH
rin is truly the best lover when he's with you, i refuse to believe othwerise.... well i know he''ll prob be AWKWARD and cold at first.. (i'll totally do an arranged marriage sitch on my ao3 oh i love the idea already)
stay tuned for part two (guess which character in comments!!! or request which one im open) i'll link it under the series column when it's rdy ;)
thank u sm for reading, and thank you to @enchanthings for these lovely page dividers. grateful foreva 🫶
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(rin pics bcs i love him sm, look at that penetrating stare and bro has hella eyelashes..)
ASJFDSOIF ok THANKS FOR REEADING AGAIN!!
part two is up and linked!!! happy reading :)
501 notes · View notes
Text
A Legacies Secret |13|
Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader
Summary: You just wanted a happy life with your girlfriend but then Ghostface attacks, revealing long thought to be buried family secrets.
Warnings: Canon Typical Violence, Stabbing, Attempted Murder, Murder, Death, Blood
Word Count: 3.4k+
Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15
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You glanced to the side as some of the guys laughed and shoved each other. You shook your head; you weren’t really friends with any of them, but they were fun. You put your attention back on the large canvas before you, smirking as you raised the spray paint bottle to the brick wall. While the others drank and smoked weed, you tended to focus on the vandalism side of things, you didn’t do any major damage, it was paint, it would wash off, eventually. Besides, it was the high school, it’s not like you were hurting anyone.
Just as you began to spray another line a siren sounded and there were red and blue flashing lights. “Shit,” you whispered. You tossed the can aside and took off running behind the others.
While the guys ran to their cars or down the street you veered right, running behind the school. You kept going, running behind all the buildings next to the school. When you no longer heard sirens or saw any lights you slowed to a light jog and eventually stopped all together. You rested against a brick wall as you tried to catch your breath.
You looked around one last time before pushing off the wall, you shoved your hands in your pockets and walked towards the street. If you acted casual, then no one would suspect anything. Almost as soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk a police car appeared. Your head snapped to the car, and you shuffled your feet as you considered taking off again.
“Don’t even think about it,” Dewey’s voice came from the speaker on the car.
You rolled your eyes and raised your paint-stained hands. You locked them behind your head as Dewey got out of his vehicle. “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic,” he sighed. “Is the whole hands behind the head thing necessary?”
“Don’t you think some light vandalism is a little below the sheriff’s pay grade,” you snarked.
“What can I say, I just knew you’d be involved.” You couldn’t help but smirk at that. “Let’s go.” He gently grabbed you by the arm and led you to the cop car. He made sure you ducked down far enough so you didn’t hit your head getting in the back seat.
The two of you rode in silence back to the police station. “Want to give me the name of your friends?” He asked.
“They’re not my friends,” you said.
“Right,” he sighed, shaking his head in disappointment.
You watched Dewey through the mirror, he was still treating you with the same kindness he always did when he brought you in. There was something different though, there were bags under his eyes, and it seemed as if he hadn’t slept in days. You slumped in the backseat, nothing to do put pick at the hole that was already there.
The one good thing about living in a small town was that you arrived at the police station in a matter of minutes. Dewey wordlessly got out of the car and opened your door for you. He once again gently grabbed your arm and led you into the station. You passed by the officer left at the station, he barely glanced up from his paper before rolling his eyes at seeing you again.
“Sit,” Dewey ordered when the two of you got to his office.
You slumped down in the chair across from his desk. You looked around, nothing was new, not like it had been long since you had been in this same position before. Dewey’s office was at the back of the station, but he generally kept the door open, and the blinds were always up so he could see out onto the floor and his officers could see him.
“What was it this time?” Dewey asked as he leaned against the front of the desk, staring down at you. He once told you he did this because he felt it created a more open dynamic, that it was more casual, and easier to talk than it would be if he was sitting behind the desk.
“Nothing,” you mumbled. You crossed your arms as you refused to look him in the eye.
“Come on-”
“Look can you just call my foster parents, I want to go home.” You rolled your eyes, you didn’t know why Dewey was trying to do this tonight, it was late, you weren’t in the mood for one of his speeches.
“Cut the bullshit,” Dewey snapped. You couldn’t help the way you flinched, your eyes instantly snapping to Dewey. “We do this almost every week, you’re sixteen,” you looked down at your hands in your lap. “I can’t keep protecting you.”
“Then don’t!”
“So, juvie, that’s what you want?” You glanced up to see Dewey’s disappointed glare. “Is it?”
“No,” you mumbled.
“Cause that’s where you’re headed if you keep this up. If you’re lucky!” You looked up at him, your eyes wide. “If they wanted, you could be tried as an adult.”
You opened your mouth, but no words came out. ‘I’m sorry’ didn’t seem like enough. ‘I’ll do better’ wasn’t enough, those were just words. Words didn’t mean anything at the end of the day, actions are what matter, actions are what spoke the loudest.
“He came home drunk, again,” you whispered.  You glanced up to see Dewey’s furrowed brow. “My foster dad.”
Dewey sucked in a breath and nodded. He knew what your foster dad was like, he knew exactly what your life was like. “Did he hit you?”
You shook your head. “Left before it got that bad.”
Dewey sighed and took a seat in the chair next to you. “You don’t have to stay there, you know.”
You let out a humorless chuckle as you scoffed at just the idea of that. There weren’t any other options, you had to stay with them until you were eighteen and then they’d kick you out and you’d be on your own. “Yeah, cause I have so many places to go?” you snarked.
Dewey got up and made his way around his desk, grabbing something on the shelf behind it. When he turned around, he was holding a packet of papers. He leaned across the table, holding out the papers to you. You hesitantly reached up, taking the papers from him.
When you looked down at the papers you couldn’t help but furrow your brow. “Emancipation?” you asked, looking up at Dewey. “There’s no way I’d ever qualify,” you shook your head, tossing the papers back onto his desk.
“Not if you do the work,” Dewey said. He picked up the papers and held them out to you again. “You’re a smart kid, the only one who can pull you out of the path you’re on, is you.”
You reached up and took the papers back from him. You looked down at it. You had thought of it before, of course you had. Getting emancipated required a lot of work though, you had to have your living situation figured out, you had to have an income, you had to prove that you could be independent and support yourself.
“I don’t even know where to start,” you mumbled.
“First,” Dewey said. “This shit,” he picked up an empty spray paint can from a previous encounter with you. “Has to stop. No more. I don’t want to see you in that seat,” he pointed to the chair you were in. “Again.” You nodded, keeping your eyes on the floor. “I can’t keep giving you chances.” You nodded, you had gotten lucky every time Dewey was the one to bring you in, no one else would have been as generous. He got up and made his way to the door, resting his hand on the doorknob as he looked back at you. “You know the way out,” he said before leaving his office, letting the door close behind him.
You continued to stare down at the papers in your lap. Maybe Dewey was just having a bad night, maybe he really was done with you, either way, you needed to get your shit together. You were going nowhere if you kept going at it like you were, it was only a matter of time before you got caught up in something much bigger than a little vandalism.
You shot up in your seat, your heart beating erratically in your chest as you looked around. “Hey, hey,” Tara’s soft voice came. You calmed down instantly when your eyes landed on her. “It’s okay.” She gave your hand a comforting rub. You were at the hospital, you were still at Tara’s bedside, you guessed you had passed out from all the crying.
“Sorry,” you rasped out. You got up from your seat, moving to the little sink in the room to fill a glass of water.
“You have nothing to apologize for.” You leaned your back against the sink, resting your hands on the counter behind you. “How are you holding up?”
You shook your head; you had no idea how you were doing. “I hate this town.” You stared at the floor.
You felt Tara’s eyes on you, but you couldn’t look away from the floor. “Ask me again?” Tara whispered. You scrunched your eyebrows, looking up at her with a tilt of your head. “Ask me again.”
Your eyes widened when you realized what she meant. You couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on your face despite your current situation as you made your way to her bedside again. “Run away with me?” you asked, leaning forward to stare into her eyes.
Tara nodded, happy tears filling her eyes. “Okay,” she whispered. You were already leaning in as she reached up with her good hand, resting it on the back of your neck to pull you closer.
You eventually moved to Tara’s other side, even though you couldn’t hold her hand anymore, you still wanted to keep your eyes on the door. You were in the chair, pressed against the bed as you ran your fingers through Tara’s hair. The two of you were watching some mindless TV, trying not to think about everything that had happened.
You rubbed your eyes tiredly; you could barely remember what sleep felt like. The only times you had slept since Tara’s attack had been in an uncomfortable position in a chair, passing out from crying yourself to exhaustion, and the few hours you had been knocked unconscious, though Tara told you that last one didn’t count as sleep.
You pulled out your phone when you felt it vibrate. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes when you saw whose name appeared on your screen. “Who is it?” Tara asked.
“Your sister,” you grumbled. You rolled your eyes again as you swiped to answer the call.
“Y/N,” Sam practically screamed into the phone as the phone got to your ear.
“Too what do I owe the displeasure Samantha?” you asked, unable to hide the irritation at her calling. The only reason you even picked up was because of Tara, you had no problem letting it go to voicemail.
“Ghostface is going after Tara.”
“What?” You shot to your feet. “How do you know?” You started pacing around the room, your eyes darting all around for anything that could be used as a weapon.
“Judy’s dead.” You stopped in your tracks. Your eyes were wide as you looked up at Tara. She scrunched her eyebrows, silently asking you what Sam was saying. “Wes too.” You shook your head, that couldn’t be, you had just seen both of them.
“Fuck,” was all you could manage to get out.
“He’s going after Tara.” Sam was clearly struggling with what she was about to say to you. You were sure it probably had to do with the fact that she told you to stay away from Tara and now she was calling you, telling you Tara was in danger. “Look I’m-”
“He’s not laying a fucking hand on her,” you cut her off. You didn’t need her apology; you didn’t want it. All that mattered right now was protecting Tara, that was your only concern.
“Thank you,” she whispered.
You clenched your jaw and gripped the phone in your hand tighter. “Whatever,” you hung up.
“What happened?” Tara asked.
“We need to get you out of here,” you said. You looked around until your eyes landed on the wheelchair.
“What’s going on?”
You rolled the wheelchair as close to the bed as possible, so you could get Tara into it without risking hurting her more. “Come on.”
“What’s going on?”
Tara grabbed your hand, forcing you to look her in the eye. “Ghostface.” Tara’s eyes instantly filled with tears, and she began shaking her head. The same fear you saw when she first woke up was back. “Hey,” you moved to her side instantly, gently brushing away the strands of hair that fell in her face. “No one is going to hurt you.” You stared into her eyes. “I swear, I’ll protect you. Okay?” You waited for her to nod.
You locked the wheelchair in place. As soon as you got your arms under Tara to lift her you heard a noise outside the door. You held your breath as you stared at the doorknob, waiting for whoever was out there to start turning it. You could feel Tara gripping onto you, her nails digging into your arm.
You moved quickly, getting Tara into the wheelchair as you continuously glanced at the door. No one tried coming in and you couldn’t hear a sound coming from the other side. The silence, which should have been peaceful, was anything but, you knew the second that door opened all hell would break loose. Sam said Ghostface was on the way, but he could have already been there. The only thing standing between Tara and Ghostface was you and you weren’t going to let him lay a finger on her.
You started to roll the wheelchair as quietly as you could when you saw the doorknob begin to jiggle. You raised a finger to your lips and moved across the room, so you’d be behind the door when it opened. Tara shook her head furiously, but you kept your attention on the door, you weren’t letting him get her.
As soon as the door creaked open you rammed your shoulder into it. There was a groan as the door whipped back into whoever was trying to open it. You quickly opened it, ready to tackle the person when you stopped in your tracks. “Richie?” you asked.
“What the hell?” Richie said, holding a hand to his bleeding nose.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
Richie opened his mouth, but you didn’t know what he was about to say because behind Richie was Ghostface. “Look out!” You tried to warn him. Richie turned just as Ghostface brought down his knife, slashing him across the forearm.
Richie backed up, nearly tripping over his own feet before Ghostface grabbed him and shoved him against the wall. You kept yourself between Ghostface and Tara, straightening your back as Ghostface turned to face you. He tilted his head and twisted the knife in his hand.
“Move as fast as you can,” you whispered, glancing at Tara out of the side of your eye.
Before Tara could argue with you, you moved. Ghostface raised their knife, but you caught their arm as they tried to bring it down. You backed them up, slamming them against the wall. You heard the wheelchair begin to move behind you, at least Tara actually listened to you for once. Ghostface pushed back and you turned them, so your back was facing the door. You just had to stall them long enough for Tara to get to safety. You started to walk them back when they tripped over Richie’s feet. Ghostface crashed to the floor, their knife flying out of their hand.
You didn’t hesitate as you turned and ran out of the room. You got your hands on the wheelchair and began racing down the hall towards the elevator with Tara.
Something hit you in the side, sending you slamming into the wall, the force making Tara’s wheelchair tip over, and sending her crashing to the floor. You groaned, your eyes instantly widening when you heard Tara’s cries. You moved to go to her when you felt something pierce your side. Your breath caught in your throat as you looked down, seeing a knife in your side. You lifted your head, staring into the white mask as Ghostface slowly pulled out their knife.
“No!” you heard Tara scream, though she sounded far away.
Ghostface raised their knife and waved it back and forth in front of your face so you could see your own blood coating the knife. They brought the knife down, shoving it into your left shoulder and giving it an aggressive twist. You screamed and brought your hands up, trying to pull their hand away from you. They ripped it out without a care and watched as you slid to the floor. Your right hand went to your shoulder as your left hand held your side, trying to stop the blood but it continued to seep between your fingers.
You tried to pull yourself up as Ghostface slowly walked towards Tara, he was taunting her, knowing she couldn’t crawl away. It sounded like Ghostface was talking to someone, but everything was muffled. You tried to move as Ghostface reached her, but you only collapsed to the floor.
You took away your hand from the wound on your side, reaching out as if you could get to them, as if you could stop Ghostface. Just as Ghostface raised their knife the elevator doors opened. You choked out a sob as Dewey raised his gun, firing several shots at Ghostface until they dove out of the way down another hall. Sam rushed to her sister’s side, helping her up and as gently as she could rushed her to the elevator.
Dewey rushed to your side, he swung an arm around you and helped you to your feet. He whipped around with his gun when he heard a noise, but it was just Richie coming out of the room, a hand to his head from where he was hit. Dewey put his other hand around Richie and began struggling to help the both of you to the elevator.
As the three of you passed the hall Ghostface ran out, slamming into the three of you, making you crash to the floor again. Richie stumbled back to his feet, his eyes widening in horror as Ghostface dragged you back by your feet. He stood above you, and you could only stare up as he raised his knife.
The next thing you knew Ghostface was thrown back, crashing into the cabinet display along the wall. You turned your head to see Dewey with his gun raised. He kept his gun trained on Ghostface as he ran to your side. He didn’t bother flinging an arm around you this time, opting to just drag you by the back of the shirt towards the elevator.
Dewey finally let you go when he reached the elevator, letting you slump against the back wall. Tara dropped down to your side, resting a hand on your shoulder. Sam dropped down next to her, helping put pressure on your wounds. Richie was slumped in the corner, holding a hand to his bleeding arm. Dewey pressed the button for the first floor as he stood in the doorway.
“The head,” he whispered.
“What?” Sam asked, furrowing her brow as she stared up at Dewey.
“You have to shoot them in the head. Otherwise, they always come back.”
“Who gives a fuck!”
“I do.”
You Dewey held your gaze as he stepped back out of the elevator. You shook your head, you tried to move but your body just wouldn’t cooperate. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“N-n-no,” you whispered, coughing up some blood in the process.
Dewey gave you a sad smile before turning and walking back to Ghostface. You shook your head as he raised his gun at Ghostface’s head who still laid motionless in a pile of broken glass. When Dewey stepped closer, the broken glass cracking beneath his feet Ghostface’s arm shot up, stabbing Dewey in the gut, making him drop his gun.
“No!” you screamed, tears instantly feeling your eyes.
The last thing you saw before the elevator doors closed was Ghostface standing tall above Dewey, raising their knife as they prepared to stab him again.
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ma1dita · 1 year
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without a doubt
part one can be found here -> it will pass
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words: little under 3k
summary: James has a lot of questions, but he quickly finds out Peanut is the answer.
warnings: none! angst–hurts before things get happy, peter (since some of yall might need a warning), all the marauders are alive and happy, lily is too smart for this, peanut and jelly 4 ever
a/n: thank you for all the love (and tears shed) for it will pass! i genuinely rewrote this about four different times and almost lost the plot, but please let me know if it meets your expectations!
(posted 9/11/23)
DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 4
I know it will pass, it’s just heavy. You’re all I know.
There’s something about the noise in your brain as you move around your silent apartment. It overpowers the fear that hasn’t quite left your body after he let the front door fall shut. Being paralyzed in the aftermath of the truth that left your lips…It’s maddening. And you can’t even talk to the person you want to hear it most. You love him.
I do love you (Y/N), just in a different way.
Those 10 minutes were a fleeting moment in the life you’ve shared with your best friend thus far. But now, he’s stopped writing, stopped calling, and you’ve never heard him be so quiet in the past few days after the fact. There’s a knock at the door, and the sound interrupts the way you breathe, dishrag in hand, and James’ sweater still on your body.
I know that, James. I just don't know how to stop.
“What a vision you make, (Y/N).” Remus jokes in an attempt to try to make you smile. He’s leaning against the doorframe as you pop your head through the opening and he slowly moves to follow you into your home. Why does it feel like you have to explain yourself this time? But Remus is deeply understanding in nature, and he opens his arms for you to burrow yourself in.
“Get yourself fixed up. Not taking a no for an answer, love. You’ve been MIA for long enough and you know how Pads is about his birthday. He’ll want you there, broken heart be damned.” Remus is rubbing your back, and you groan.
“Ever the fucking diva.”
His chest rumbles with laughter, but both of you know that you say it lightly. Years ago, when Sirius moved into the Potter’s, it was understood that every birthday was to be as great as he was to his found family.
Nothing has to change, Peanut.
Remus sniffs you lightly, nose crinkling, “Place is spotless. Your turn for a deep clean and then off we go.” A horrified noise leaves your throat as you push yourself out of his embrace.
As the steam from the shower slowly suffocates you, you realize that Remus innately knew the reason for your emotional sabbatical from James and the rest of your friends. You wonder if everyone’s known that you’ve been in love with James Potter, and scrunch your face at how oblivious you both have been. The cold water washes away the grief that’s had a handle on your being this past month. Out of all the pranks they’ve played, this tops it. What a sick joke for the both of you to be left out of.
I think you should go now. Please.
DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 3
All of Sirius’s birthdays are spectacular, but you really can’t fight the hurt crawling up your chest. There are too many memories here at Potter Manor, too many familiar faces asking where you’ve been, and James looks petrified, eyes following your figure around the Manor like you’re a ghost he can’t touch. You walk up the stairs like you have many times over the years, finding a hideaway in the west wing. You and James used to gaze at the stars here.
“So why the hell are you moping on my birthday? No one’s allowed to be sad today.” Sirius grins, breaking the silence as he walks across the balcony to throw his arms over your seated figure.
“Happy Birthday Padfoot.” you smile, leaning up to kiss his cheek. You clink your glass against his as he takes a seat next to you on the bench.
“Trust me when I say you always look stunning, (Y/N) but there’s this look in your eye that you get when you’re around Prongs nowadays. Might I say it’s why you dropped off the face of the Earth?”
Your face instantly drops at his words, and you’re glad he can’t see much in the dim light.
“How long have you all known, Pads?”
“I don’t know about much when it comes to love, (Y/N). But what I do know is that I’m his brother, and you’re his best friend. There’s a lot of responsibility being those two things for someone like that idiot. You love him like humans need air.”
“I just… I don’t know what to do with it.” The elderflower wine glides down your throat, its taste sweet on your tongue. Sirius sits with you, knowing what’s coming next. As an older brother, he also knows you’ve been waiting for someone to listen.
“What do I do with all the love I have for him? Where does it go now that he doesn’t want it?”
“I’ll take some. It sounds lovely.” Peter’s voice almost echoes in the silence as you both turn your heads to see him and Remus in the dim light of the hallway, a bottle of firewhiskey in hand and it makes you genuinely smile for the first time in days.
“Yeah, pass it around. Godric knows Prongs doesn’t appreciate you enough.” Remus says bluntly, and you hit his stomach when he ruffles your hair.
“Honestly, what a prat! Makes you plan his proposal and doesn’t want you at the afterparty? The nerve.” You choke on the remnants of your wine as you laugh at Sirius’s outrage for you, and all four of you are giggling in the dark like idiots as Remus pours you shots. If anything else goes wrong in this life, you’re glad that you have the Marauders to live it with you.
The laughter reaches the hallway, and in walks Lily, who teasingly asks “Did the party move in here without us?” James is as still as a statue behind her, watching you laugh with his boys. He can’t remember the last time he’s seen you happy and acknowledges that he’s to blame.
“You shouldn’t be surprised, Lils. There’s always a party when Padfoot’s around,” you remark, and everyone gets up to go back to the party. Lily looks around as if she’s missing something, then looks at James.
“I’m glad that (Y/N)’s back from whatever’s been keeping her busy. Looks like everything’s falling back into place.” she muses, and James can’t help but watch his best friend, no, his best girl, walk away, thinking that everything must be falling apart.
DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 2
It’s morning now, and a lot of the crowd has gone home or fallen asleep in the many rooms of Potter Manor. You decide to stay to help clean up for Mr. and Mrs. Potter, who were always like second parents to you as well. They had a thing for taking in kids who needed love. With your best efforts, you can’t seem to escape James, who has incessantly trailed behind you into every room you walk into. You dodge him again as you walk down the hall, but James, who has always been a chaser in more ways than one grabs you by the arm and pushes you into his childhood bedroom.
A shriek leaves you as he closes the door and has you up against the wall.
“What the fu—”
“You’re avoiding me. Why are you avoiding me?” his face is panicked as his breath hits your face.
“You told me to leave you alone. That’s what I’m doing now, James. What else could you want from me?” Your hands are on his chest, crinkling the dress shirt that you once helped him pick out at the shops, and you feel breathless, angry at knowing him too well, and angry at what he’s insinuating.
James is at a loss. He loves you. He’s never gone more than a weekend without you and now it’s been ages…. And he loves you. He’s looking at you differently now, in the sunlight that floods through his old bedroom. He loves you so much that it hurts.
His hands slide from the wall behind you, until they reach your shoulders, and trace down your arms. Intertwining your fingers together, James speaks.
“I didn’t mean…” he exhales. “I just…”
“Did you not want me here too? Because unfortunately, my friends are also yours, so maybe we can clarify exactly the terms you want me to follow next time, James.” you seethe, getting in his face.
You push him away, his arms chasing after you, pining for your touch. Your heart is racing with hurt, with anger, with love, all for the man standing across the room.
“Peanut…”
“No.”
“I never want you to leave me alone, okay? It’s been agony without you and I can’t even put into words how—”
“I can, James. How long have I been so oblivious to the fact that I’m in love with you and how long have you just let it happen? You can’t just… please don’t pretend that you don’t know that I’ve been waiting all my life for you to let me fill the empty spaces in your heart.” Your voice wavers as you pull yourself away from him, sitting on his bed.
“Just tell me what’s happening, Peanut. You’ve always had the answers. I feel like I can’t breathe when you’re not there and I….. my heart feels like it’s going to combust… I… I just feel…. so intensely. I miss who I am when I’m with you.”
James throws himself down onto the bed, hyperventilating with his head in his hands. Your hands are shaking as you reach for him. You’ll always reach for him.
He raises his head, as you delicately grab his face into your hands. Your fingertips brush his tears away, loving him for the mess he is.
“My life has been so quiet these past few days and I’m so scared to live life without you. Did I fuck it all up for us?” You whisper.
James licks his lips, and he’s playing with your hair in his hands. Your knees are touching on the patterned bedspread. The space between you diminishes as you realize that he’s about to ruin everything.
Your best friend is going to kiss you.
He’s holding your jaw so gently and for a second, you wonder if this is what it would feel like to be loved by him in the way that you do. With every single ounce of control, you turn your head away from what you’ve been craving most. James’ lips land on your cheek, and he’s chasing after you again, muttering apologies as he looks into your eyes and sees everything he’s been wanting. He sees his whole life with you through the split second your eyes connect. Pushing him away again, you stumble away with a sob.
“What was that?”
“I just… “ He’s gasping for air, feeling like his heart has exploded, and the silence is so loud that he feels like his heart must be in pieces, and you’re picking up the wreckage to take home. He’s in love with you. His heart has always been yours.
“You what, James? Don’t do that!”
He’s lived in a mansion his whole life but Godric, is this room suddenly feeling too small? You get on your feet, stepping away from him and he’s following you.
“Do what?”
“Don’t make me hate you, Jelly. Loving you has been painful enough.” Tears are blurring your vision as you hiccup, and maybe it’s better to not see him right now. Maybe you really shouldn’t have come.
“I just wanted to know. I know now, love, I…” James whimpers at the sound of his nickname. Your nickname for him alone has this man wanting to drop to his knees.
“No. Don’t you know how cruel you’re being right now? To me? To the love of your life? I would never do that to Lily!” Your voice is getting louder by the minute, and James is stoic in his silence, steps away from your blaze.
“But you told me you’re in love with me. Are you saying this is because of me?”
“Everything I do is because of you, James. And if you don’t know that by now…” Then maybe you don’t know me at all.
The words go unsaid but the both of you are hit with the reality of it. Your hands jangle the doorknob to get away from him, to be anywhere but here.
DAYS UNTIL JAMES PROPOSES: 1
Lily listens intently as James tells her everything he's been wanting to say for the last eleven years. She's not surprised, in fact, she knows this is the truth, but she's still heartbroken. Lily Evans and James Potter are both people who like to chase things, people—but after all that’s said and done, the thrill wears off. They’re more alike than they’ll ever know.
He tries to apologize, but Lily cuts him off and tells him there's no need. She's always known the truth, and even though it took him this long, she's glad he finally figured it out. Smartest girl of their year, after all.
“I mean, I always felt like she should’ve been dating you, but then we happened and I fell too hard and didn’t stop to ask questions. I tried to be blind to it, but…it was nice, wasn’t it?” Lily whispers, holding James’ hand for the last time. He looks like he’s about to pass out.
“I’ll be okay, Potter. I was before you, and I will be after you. So thank you for being honest. You’ve always been honest with me.” A small kiss on his cheek renders him breathless. Once upon a time, he would stay up all night at the idea of Lily Evans loving him. But his heart has always belonged to you. Without a doubt, James Potter is in love with you, his best friend.
He doesn’t tell Lily he was planning to propose tomorrow, since the situation is already as messy as it is. But Lily Evans always knows.
JAMES HAS A PROPOSAL
James is pushing boxes back into Potter Manor, and Mippy helps flit the rest of his belongings up the stairs with magic. The least he could do is give Lily their apartment after their breakup. He looks around, rubbing his fingers of dust as his mother calls him for dinner. How humbling, he thinks, to start all over because he was too stupid to realize he’s in love. Starting over in a place he calls home is absurd. He looks out towards the courtyard where you had your fairytale wedding, walks by the hallways you used to race training broomsticks in, and back to his room where he used to whisper hushed lullabies to help you sleep. Everything reminds him of you, and your love consumes each memory that flickers through his vision. The feeling shocks him like ripping your head out of a pensieve. He’s so utterly in love with you.
What the hell is he doing at his parents’ house? He should be getting his girl! James apparates to your apartment, knocking on the door like a madman. He knocks so loudly the wood is bruising his knuckles, red blooming under his touch.
The door rips open, and he’s never been so glad to see you angry.
“You literally have a key, James. You don’t have to be a dick every—”
“You’re wrong.”
Your frustration gives way, lines on your forehead wrinkling in confusion. It’s like there’s a glass separating the both of you, and you’re scared to touch him.
You shake your head as he continues, “You’re wrong, by the way. I don’t know if Lily’s the love of my life. I haven’t lived it with her, nor will I. What I do know is that I’ve loved you for most of mine.”
“What are you saying, Jelly,” you utter, and James’ is grinning so largely you want to punch his face in.
“I love you. As in I’m in love with you. Without any doubt, or excuses, or anyone holding me back, my heart is yours, if you’ll have me?”
He rushes to catch you, his proposal hitting you hard as you fall into his embrace, hands feeling as much of him as you can. His broad shoulders, his strong neck, the dimples on his cheek, the glasses on his face—all of him is in love with you.
Your blubbering is muffled as he finally pulls his lips to yours, finally feeling, finally… James’ kiss lays out all of what he’s been holding in, and without words you both understand that this wreckage in your beating hearts, the destruction of everything you’ve set together as best friends, is love. He’s clutching you to his body, moving you backward into your apartment, feet moving in sync like an orchestrated dance. You both fall onto your couch in a fit of laughter and tears. Finally.
“How foolish of me to be with another, Peanut. I’m a married man, after all.”
"Not bad for a second kiss, Jelly." You laugh at him.
James looks at your smile like it’s the answer to every question he’ll ask in this life.
“We give those we love nicknames, because love requires a word that belongs to us alone.” Fredrik Backman
tagged: @prongs-moon @alltheotherkidss @anehkael @princessprongs
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darylmydix · 1 month
Text
THE SCARS WE SHARE | daryl dixon [teaser]
summary: you were the only good thing daryl had in his life. bonded by similar trauma, you suffered abuse at the hands of your stepmother, just as daryl had suffered from his own father. when you finally decide to escape your abusive home life, you're forced to leave behind your best friend in the process. now with the world in an apocalyptic state, you're left wondering if daryl was even alive.
pairings: daryl dixon x f!reader.
warnings: smut, violence, blood and gore, unrequited love, best friends to lovers, mentions of s/a, mentions of abuse, mention of suicidal thoughts/attempts, mention of drug use, use of deadly weapons, fluff, angst, slow burn, strong language, kidnapping, coercion, seasons 5-11, 18+, minors dni.
word count: 1k.
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The knock on your front door was gentle; almost as though the person on the other side of it was at odds on whether they should bother you or not. You sigh, figuring it was probably Aiden coming to apologize for the confrontation he had caused with Rick and his group earlier.
You sat the book you were reading down on your coffee table, getting up from the couch as you shuffled to the door. You freeze, not even needing to open it, the glass revealing that it wasn’t Aiden, but in fact Daryl. You pull your bottom lip between your teeth, feeling your heart pound against your chest. You close your eyes, letting out a heavy exhale.
You continue towards your door, opening it. The cool, crisp night air tickled your exposed skin. “It’s late, what’re you doing here?” you question. “Came to talk.” he replies simply in his gruff voice. You pause for a moment, contemplating on whether or not you should let him in. You really weren’t in the right headspace to talk, but at the same time you didn’t want to just turn him away. “Come in.” You pull the door open wider for the brunette to step inside before shutting it close.
“So…” you cross your arms, staring up at him. “What did you come to talk about?” Daryl’s picking at his fingernails; a coping mechanism that you always remembered him doing when he struggled to find the right words. Even after all these years he still had a hard time expressing himself. “Look, m’sorry ‘bout what went down with Aiden today.”
You sigh, shrugging your shoulders. You knew he really didn’t mean it. Anything Daryl did he did it with pride, standing on whatever decision he made. “Aiden can be an asshole sometimes, I know. But you and your group need to understand that things like that don’t happen in Alexandria. If you guys continue to disrupt the peace I don’t know what Deanna will do.” You inform him honestly. The people in Alexandria had lived in tranquility for so long, they weren’t used to sudden anarchy. Most of them hadn’t even dealt with walkers.
Daryl nods in response, still picking at his nails. An awkward silence had fallen between you two, neither knowing what to say next. It was crazy to think there could ever come a time where you didn’t find comfort in his silence. Daryl was never the most talkative person, you knew this. But regardless, back then it didn’t bother you. You just enjoyed being around him. He was home.
Used to be at least.
It was time to face the reality that you weren’t the same girl you were before the world ended. In fact, you stopped being that girl the moment you escaped your stepmother’s tyranny. You were happy to know Daryl survived so long in this fucked up dystopia, but all his presence has done since his group got to Alexandria was bring back memories you wanted to erase, and cause a rift between you and Aiden.
“He treat you good?” Daryl finally filled the silence. You knew he was talking about Aiden. “He does.” You nod, which Daryl does too. “You love him?” The question catches you off guard, and you’re not sure how to answer because the truth was, you weren’t sure if you loved Aiden. You knew you cared about him though. “Doesn’t matter.”
“To me it does.”
“Well, it shouldn’t. My love life, and life isn’t your concern anymore.” You snap, agitatedly. “You should just go before Aiden comes by. You can let yourself out.” You walk past him, heading back to your couch, mentally cursing yourself for not pretending to be asleep instead of answering the door.
Daryl could feel the disconnection between you and him; he couldn’t understand why, but it was truly starting to frustrate him how you had been writing him off lately. Like he wasn’t an important part of your life once. “Man, what happened to you? Ever since I got here you been distant, and actin’ like you barely know me. I don’t understand why.”
You shake your head. “You don’t need to understand. We’re not having this conversation right now. Just go.” You speak sternly, pointing to the door. Daryl scoffs. “Ain’t goin’ nowhere ‘til you tell me why,” he wasn’t letting up, and you could feel your nerves taking over the more he prodded. “All these years, all that searchin’ just for you to act like it meant nothing. Hell was it for?”
“I’m not doing this.” You turn once more to walk away, but his strong grip on your wrist prevents it, and you’re spun back around to face him.
“Tell me why!”
You snatch your wrist away. “Because you’re a constant reminder, and I hate it, okay?!” You spat. “I fucking hate it! It didn’t mean anything. You didn’t mean anything. We were trauma bonded. We shared the same scars, that’s it. Once I found my courage to run, I threw away the crutches that held me back. I buried my past and everything that came with it.” Hearing your own words fly out of your mouth breaks your heart in two.
Daryl stares at you. His eyes are a bit watery, but he doesn’t shed a tear. He fights it, the way he always has. “S’all I was, huh? A crutch that held you back?” You swallow the lump at the back of your throat, not responding out of fear of breaking down. He nods his head. “I get it.” Is all he says before he’s finally about to exit your home.
The brunette only opens the door halfway before halting. “Y’know… after you left, I regretted not going with you like you wanted me to. I regretted it everyday.” He finally leaves with those being his last words, slamming the door behind him.
You flinch at the slam, eyes squeezing shut. Your bottom lip quivered and chest tightened in pain. You wanted to run after him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to. Tears fall now that you were left alone in your own space. Your hand flies over your mouth to muffle the uncontrollable sobs that were starting to slip through.
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inkdrinkerworld · 1 year
Text
jack of all trades
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wc: 3.7k
pairing: handyman!james x teacher!reader [though can be read as any reader]
cw: fluff, life mishaps, handyman!james, mention of a break in, family dynamics [healthy], mention of food
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You were fucked. You should’ve just called a plumber from the beginning.
Now your pipes were all wrinkled and your sink wasn’t draining.
Your heart was in your throat as you pulled out your phone and called your brother, Michael.
“Do you know any plumbers? My sink’s pipe is fucked,” you send him a picture and he chuckles down the line. Your brother is a mechanic, but he's got friends in many places.
Places you hope include wherever they hire plumbers.
“Yeah, I’ll call someone. Make sure you don’t use it again, dummy.” you nod, chewing at your cuticle.
“Thanks,” your voice shakes and you know your brother is frowning.
Life had been fucking you with no prep for the last couple months. Someone had broken into your house almost five weeks ago, stolen a couple small pieces of jewellery and fucked with your locks.
You’d had to change the locks, your front door and you’d taken to sleeping in the living room with a three inch knife under your pillow.
That had put you out of money for groceries and your brother had taken over doing it for you till you could again.
Now you can’t wash your dishes and your anxiety is all over the place.
“Stop it, go get ice cream or something. I’ll come over with him if he can swing it, okay?”
“You're the best,” you say earnestly and he chuckles, “I’ll buy shit to make the buns you like as payment.”
Your brother doesn’t deny himself the delicacy- it had taken a while for you to get back into doing things that made you happy and he was also a sucker for them.
“I’ll text you what he says, be safe. Love you.”
You return the sentiment and head out, double checking that you’d locked the gate and the front door.
You’d gotten a pint of orange creamsicle, and a pint of caramel biscuit and cream before getting the stuff to make the buns for your brother.
As you set them all down on your counter your phone pings off.
‘He can come tomorrow morning at 9, I’ll come with him. He’s a good guy though, don’t worry.’
You send your brother a thumbs up and then he sends you a photo of the man you suppose is coming to fix your pipes. He’s good looking, his hair is long in the photo, tied back in a low bun but there’s curls on his forehead. Another thing you notice is how massive he is. He’s broad and muscular but in the photo you’re looking at he’s got a warm smile on his face that shows off a dimple.
He looks friendly enough. Maybe tomorrow won’t be so bad.
You try to sleep in your bed, you don’t want your brother to notice that you’re still on the sofa in the morning, but being so far from the door makes your heart clench and you find yourself dragging your blanket out to the sofa that you’re sure by now has your body’s impression.
“Last night,” you say to yourself as you cuddle your pillow and tuck your blankets under your chin.
Your alarm has you groaning. 6:30 is a nice time, but not so nice when you don’t actually have to go into the preschool to teach, but for parent meetings at 11. Rubbing your eyes, you sit up, legs already moving to the kitchen to set the kettle on.
You go through your morning routine and only feel alive when you have a cup of tea and a bite of the last of sourdough toast you’d made last week. Your phone rings and you already know it’s your brother, “Yes I’m awake, dork.” he might be older than you by four years but you’re really close so the teasing is nice.
“Open the door then, and make sure you have on your glasses.” you flip him off over the phone but walk across the floor, glasses on, to unlock the door.
“Where’s your key?” you ask as you open the door, finding your brother holding two brown paper bags and the man in the photo standing next to him in grimy coveralls.
“I hooked it on the look of my pants, James was being prudish about touching me.”
“I wasn’t,” the beefy man starts, jingling his toolkits as an answer. His voice is nice, deep, cherry and his drawl is a little slow, but still very pleasant.
“Come in,” you step to the side and open the door wider. “Don’t worry about him, he just likes people touching him.” your brother scowls but doesn’t deny it.
“Don’t laugh when you see it, this one already did. I know it’s bad.” you say nervously as James sets down his stuff.
“S’fine, can’t be much worse than some of the other stuff I’ve seen.”
“Come eat, I got you that breakfast cake thing you like.” your brother sets the box before you, sliding over your cup of tea and a bottle of orange juice.
“Did you eat?” you eye him as you sit on the island.
“Shanice made eggs and toast.” you love your future sister-in-law, but the mention of her in the kitchen has enough merit to make your stomach roll in discomfort and your body to produce a gag.
“There’s chicken salad in the fridge and the bread’s there too,” you turn to James, “Do you want anything to eat, James? There’s vegan stuff in the fridge too if you don’t eat meat.”
Your brother rolls his eyes, “He could eat an entire chicken if he really wanted to.” You’re positive there’s a small blush on James’ face. He’s even prettier in person and you’re really trying not to stare.
His hair is tied back like it was in the photo, inky curly spirals slipping out around his ears and the nape of his neck. His eyes are a shade of brown that reminds you of sand- dark but flecked with lighter hues; he’s captivating.
He’s almost as wide as your fridge and his arms are huge, but he looks soft, even with all the corded muscles. You will your eyes not to linger on his hands.
Your brother makes himself a triple sandwich and takes one of your iced teas.
“I’m alright,” he eyes your cup of tea, “I could do with a cuppa though.” you nod and set the kettle on.
“One sugar or two?” He holds up a single finger before opening the cupboards. He hisses and you suppose that’s better than the laugh that bursts from your brother.
“S’not that bad,” you can tell he’s being extra nice when he sees the embarrassed look on your face, “I’ll have to change all the pipes though. Whoever installed these ones used really thin PVC so under the heat it crumpled.” James stands and accepts the tea from the dainty mug without a complaint.
“Will it be super expensive?” you ask, and your brother flicks your forehead. “What? You know I can’t afford many more swings right now.” You only feel a twinge of embarrassed heat licking at your neck as you look between James and Michael.
“You’re such an idiot, I’ll go half with you.” He says and you nod, giving him your best smile but your brother draws the line when you try to hug him.
“It won’t be, but I can’t do it today. The better pipes have to be ordered in, but they only take like a day to get here.” James explains and you nod.
“That’s fine, I’ve got most of my stuff already cooked so there won’t be much dishwashing.” James finishes the tea and pulls out a pen and paper from his bag. “Here’s my number, you can text me in like two days about it if I don’t call Michael first.”
You nod again, thanking him as he gathers all his stuff and moves for the door. Your brother waves him away and then turns to you, frowning.
“You still sleeping on the sofa?” It’s then that you realise you hadn’t put your blanket or your pillow away and scowl.
“I can’t sleep in the bed, my mind just runs wild.” you say as you finish your tea and cake. “I’ve been trying though.”
The door shuts and you realise James has probably heard what you’ve said. Your mouth can’t seem to not run away from you when he’s around.
You brush the slight shame away with the semi-reassuring thought that ‘at least he doesn’t know why a grown woman can’t sleep in her own bed,’ it doesn’t last long, but it mellows the initial sting.
Michael ruffles your hair and you shrug, “It’ll just take some time,” he says softly, “Want me to get a security system?” You shake your head at that.
“You’re already going half and half with me on this, and you paid for my groceries for like three weeks. I’ll be okay.”
Your brother doesn’t look convinced, but he can’t argue with you because his phone rings.
“Work, I gotta go, but think about it okay? Shanice won’t mind either,” you nod but you both know you won’t be thinking about anything.
“Have a good day at work, I’ll bake those buns the second the sink’s all good.”
-
You’re coming back from work the next day when your phone rings, an unknown number. You frown and then realise it might be James.
“Hello?”
“Hi, angel. This is James,” he says, like you’ve forgotten his name over the last twenty four hours.
“Hi James, is everything okay?” you ask, shoving a couple folders into your bag from the passenger seat of your car.
“Yeah, was calling about the pipes. I’ve just picked them up and I’m near-by. Would you mind at all if I came to install them today?”
You stick the key in the ignition, “I wouldn’t mind, but I’m about twenty minutes from my house, would you wait?”
You really hope he can, you want this problem resolved as soon as possible.
“I can, angel. Don’t sweat it,” he says before he hangs up. You do a happy shimmy in your seat before pulling out of the school’s parking lot.
Next, you call Michael.
“James is coming over to fix the pipes today, just in case you know, I go missing or something.”
Your brother laughs, “He’s a sweetheart. Maybe stop listening to your crime podcasts, you’re getting even more morbid.”
“Oh whatever, I’ll stop by tomorrow with the buns.”
“Make sure you get some sleep,”
“Yeah yeah, I’m going now.”
James is in his car when you pull up, a bronco that looks very well kept. “Sorry for the wait,” you say as you unlock your door.
“S’fine, had enough time to have a late lunch.”
You check your watch, “It’s almost four James, that’s more like an early dinner.”
The man lifts his shoulder and drops it with a smile, “It’s been one of those days.”
“Do you want a cup of tea or iced tea?” you ask as you open your fridge. “I should warn you though, they’re addictive.”
“What flavour iced tea do you have?” you smile, James might be someone else you get hooked on them.
“Peach, hibiscus and I think I see one last cucumber melon.”
“Which is your favourite?”
“Peach! It’s not really that sweet though, but if you like it super sweet maybe hibiscus would be better.”
James smiles at the way you ramble as he opens up his toolkit and then the pipes.
“I’ll take the peach angel,” you pass him the glass bottle after tipping it upside down. James takes a long sip and sighs, “That’s good.” you nod and then move to take out a bowl of rice and chicken.
“Do you need me to get anything? To help?” you ask and James shakes his head.
“Not right now,” you think about going to eat before asking,
“Can I watch? Just to know what you’re doing?” then you back track as James doesn’t say anything.
“Not because I don’t trust you to do it well, I just like knowing. Like with my door, I learned how to put it up when I had to change it,” you realise you’re rambling when James smiles and his dimple is visible through his stubble.
“You can watch angel, you can hand me the tools I’ll need.”
You and James make a good team- you’d been nervous at first and then when James was so close you could smell his coconutty cologne you felt your head go a little light but almost two hours later, your pipes were changed.
“Moment of truth is if the water goes down,” you say as you stand, knees cracking in the process.
James nods, “You’re not a bad assistant, if you ever change professions I’ll put in a good word for you.”
You beam at that before opening up the tap and letting the water flow. Not even a drop of it pools in the sink and your heart feels like a feather floating away in the breeze.
“You did it!” you turn to James with a pleased smile and he blushes. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” you exclaim and he chuckles, already packing up his toolkit.
“You’re welcome angel, Michael already paid by the way.”
You shake your head at your brother’s actions, but you can’t find it in you to be upset, not when your sink is fixed. “Can I entice you to have dinner then? I’ll feel bad if you just go,” you tack on when James doesn’t answer. “I’ve got pizza or taco bowls.” you sing-song and that breaks him.
“What kind of pizza?”
It’s how James ends up on your sofa, overalls hanging off his hips, revealing a dark red compression shirt as he holds his plate.
Your blanket is still on the sofa, but you shove it to the armchair.
“Wanna watch anything specific? I’m going through Christmas movies right now,” James’ eyes are wide at your confession.
“It’s the middle of August,” you nod and bite your bar-b-que chicken pizza.
“I’m making a short list of Christmas movies for this Christmas. Last three years in a row I did one.”
James grins, “So I take it you like the season.”
You nod, “If you ask Michael, he’d tell you I was obsessed with it,” you shrug, setting down the slice of pizza.
“When we were kids, I used to go crazy about it. Write letters to Santa with our address and mail it, play Christmas songs all through the month and I was a little excessive with the decorations- especially when I started working and could buy the ones I wanted. It just always feels like a good time- eternal joy and hope and all that jazz I guess.”
James looks around your house now and finds a few trinkets in the space and for a moment he can imagine it decked out for Christmas. “I can see it,” he groans as he takes a bite. “That’s delicious, angel.”
Your face gets hot under the compliment and you give James a small smile.
“What are you watching now?” he asks, taking another bite.
“The Holiday,” you search for the remote and find the movie. “It makes the shortlist every year, but it’s so good.”
James and you watch the remaining forty five minutes, and he nudges your shoulder during the sad parts so you don’t let the tears in your eyes fall.
“Do you think people rent that cottage?” He asks you and you frown.
“I dunno, but if it’s for rent it’ll be so nice! It’s so cosy looking.”
James doesn’t point out that your house looks just as cosy. It reminds him of the houses you see in magazines- not the boring ones that’s all one colour and minimalistic, but the ones that seem to be alive with colour and things.
He’s sure they all serve a purpose- the small statues in one corner near your window, the coasters that look like flowers, it all seems to complement you and your home and James thinks to himself, ‘this is what a home should be.’
He stretches as he stands and you do as well, reaching for his plate that he doesn’t give. Instead he takes your own and walks to the kitchen.
“You’re a guest, guests don’t do the dishes.” you try to get your plate back but it’s no use, James is already washing them and stacking them in the draining board.
“Thanks for dinner angel,” he picks up his toolkit and the bucket of parts that need to be tossed out.
“You’re welcome, thanks for fixing my pipes.”
James waves it off, “I’d say we should do this again sometime, but changing your pipes so frequently isn’t ideal.”
It isn’t till after you hear the innuendo in his words. You do laugh a little in the moment, so James counts it as a win. Your laugh reminds him of that fairy in the show his niece loves- a sweet tinkering, bell-like sound that makes him smile.
“It was nice though. You’re good company.”
You walk James to the door, “Make sure and lock up,” he says kindly and you nod.
You notice that you don’t hear his boots don’t move till he hears the locks click and your heart flutters stupidly at the action.
You can’t like him already, you barely know him. A voice in the back of your head says, “But he’s already so dreamy,” you’re very inclined to agree.
-
You’d thought that would’ve been the last time you saw James too, but three weeks later, he’s at your brother’s house for his summer party and you’re fucked all over again.
He’s not a bad sight to be greeted with, arms exposed in his black tank top and his thighs. They’re thick and you can see the outline of muscle on them, even from far away. There’s a couple smattering of tattoos that peak from the hem of his shorts and you have to stop yourself from drooling.
He’s laughing at something Shanice is telling him, and he looks even more gorgeous.
It should be illegal, you think to yourself, for the man to look that effortlessly beautiful.
“You made it!” Michael says, handing you the drink in his hand before gesturing for you to follow him.
“You said if I didn’t come you’d have called me non-stop. I love you, but that’s annoying.” Michael leads you over to his fiance and James. You hug Shanice and wave politely at James.
Conversation is easy, and James hopes he’s being discrete as his gaze falls to you a little longer than necessary. You catch him once, and the look in his eyes confuses you just a little.
You don’t think badly of yourself, but you’re just in a pair of jean shorts and the top of your bikini- a pretty pink colour, after you’d read an article about lifeguards having a hard time spotting people in pools and the ocean if they had on blues and greens- is exposed by your lack of shirt.
In any case, you didn’t think it was cause for his stares to linger and look so… primal if that was even the right word.
Michael says, “James, do you know any good alarm systems?” as you sip your peach iced tea and vodka. You elbow your brother as James nods.
“There’s a few out there that I’d recommend, why?”
“Don’t,” you murmur to Michael who ignores you entirely.
Your brother doesn’t hesitate as he says, “Someone broke into her house a couple weeks ago and she hasn’t been able to sleep in her room since.”
“Yeah, just talk about me like I’m invisible,” you mutter and James feels anger and fury for you fester in his chest. It blooms rapidly and takes him by surprise.
“You’re not invisible, you’re just a hard head.” your brother says, James is inclined to agree as well- especially after the portion of the conversation he had overheard that first day you met.
“I can stop by the hardware tomorrow if you want, should have some of the ones I usually recommend.”
Your brother smirks and you feel shame and something you can’t yet name balloon your belly.
“Thank you, James,” you say as you finish off your vodka iced tea, already feeling for another one.
As the food comes out, you help yourself; ensuring to avoid James’ gaze because over the last couple weeks he’s seemed to come to know a lot of the bad things about your life. You pile watermelon and pineapple on one side of your plate before picking some fries and a bar-b-que chicken breast. Your hand reaches for a lemonade when a bigger one grabs it.
“I got it angel,” James’ own plate is full too. More meat than fruit but it’s fuel either way so it doesn’t bother you. “Where’re you sitting?”
You point to the seat near the pool.
“You don’t have to be so nice, James. Michael’s mouth is just too big for his own good.”
James rolls his eyes, “I’m not being nice because of him,” he says, taking the seat beside you and handing over your lemonade after cracking the seal. “Or because I fixed your pipes, or anything else.”
You frown as you chomp on a piece of watermelon. “You’re not?”
James shakes his head, digging into his food.
You squint at him and James chuckles, “No, you should feel safe in your house.”
You don’t say anything much after that, overwhelmed by his care- even if you’re stopping yourself from reading too far into it.
“You’re real sweet, James.” you say after a while, spearing a look at him to find his eyes already on you; that same kind of hungry look in his eyes like earlier.
“Yeah?” he hums and for a moment you want him to kiss you. You want to feel the press and the heat of his lips on yours, then you catch the thought. You hardly know him. But you want him and him coming over to install the security system might not go as smoothly as the plumbing had gone. You find you wouldn’t mind if James does something other than install the alarm system.
“Yeah.”
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astonmartingf · 5 months
Text
YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND—
— co-parenting with alonso has been smooth sailing, until he starts dropping hints that he wants to be with you again
P7 ★ WHEN IN DOUBT, BLAME ALPINE
amgf ahhh it's sad, but we're getting there, because all things must come to an end. honestly i had a hard time writing this because how do i end things and let go of them? it's a struggle really but we work with it. like always, enjoy this chapter 👍
previous ★ masterlist ★ next
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You stand still, silence surrounding the kitchen. There were no more words left to say, as they all left your mouth in utter silence. You watch Ales' from the baby monitor set on the kitchen island, sleeping in peace— content, calm, without a worry of the world.
You'd do everything for your son, you'd do anything for this family, and what Alonso did— you couldn't let it pass by you.
The familiar squeak of the front door hinges swept you off your own thoughts. Staring at the tiled walls in the kitchen, you rely on your senses anticipating Fernando as his shadows inch closer to yours.
"Hey."
Jerking from the warm touch of his palms against your cold shoulder. You stand still, Fernando presses his weight on your back, pulling you in an embrace, leaving soft kisses from your neck trailing down to your shoulders. You sigh in content, hoping and praying to forget as you blissfully ignore the slowly building concerns looming over your head.
"Amor, how was your day?"
You look over the ceiling, biting your lip to alleviate the anger filling up your thoughts. Tongue in cheek, you gather up some form of courage to calmly get through the upcoming conversation without shouting or bursting into tears. You give him the benefit of the doubt though, maybe they were just run of the mill rumors to form clicks for views.
"Have you seen my messages?" You gulp down your sighs, surprised at the shaky tone of your own voice. You wanted more than to be out of this conversation, as the constant feeling bubbling inside you loomed heavier and heavier, waiting in anticipation at the culmination of your emotions, at your poor attempts at keeping them at bay.
"I haven't yet, why? Did you want me to buy something for Ales?" You turn around stopping him from reading your message, wanting to avoid the conversation for a later time, choosing to drown in the burden of your own thoughts.
Fernando was a beat earlier than you— you panic as the smile in his eyes fell at a glance of your message.
"You knew?" Your brows furrowed, fully taking in his words, "I knew? Is it true? Are you racing again?"
Fernando's eyes looked over yours, "Isn't this exciting? I never thought I would have a chance to race again, but they offered and I accepted it."
You stumble backwards, at a loss for words. And slowly, the thoughts clouding in your head were becoming a reality.
Fernando catches your silence and reluctance to the news, pulling away from you, his hands cup the apples of your cheeks leaving you no choice to look at him.
"Are you not happy? This is good isn't it?"
You stare at his eyes, shining in excitement at the thought of racing once more. The idea never even entered your head, you never thought that Fernando would want to get back to racing.
You gulp the bile forming to jump out your throat, nodding your head— not trusting your own words. "Yeah. It's good to be back Fer."
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yourusername 11/21/2021
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liked by nicorosberg and 21 others
yourusername beach day with uncle nico is a must in monaco
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"YN talk to me, why can't we be together? You think I'll just accept this? Explain to me please, tell me where I did you wrong. What did I do? Is this about racing? Again?" Fernando runs to catch you in your shared bedroom, trying to keep up with the pace you set, sliding inside before you ought to close the door on him.
You turn around, mouth hanging wide, "Again? Is that all you think about? Racing? What about our family? You didn't even tell me about your choice, what was I supposed to say to you? You already made the decision for yourself!"
Fernando scoffs at your words, "You should've said you didn't like it! Why are you blaming me for your lack of communication?"
"You're one to talk about communication, you didn't bother telling me, I was blindsided Fer! One second I thought we'd live like a normal family and the next you're back racing every other week and you're leaving us behind!" You throw your hands in frustration and confusion as you try to get your point across to him.
Fernando put his palms up his face, at a loss for words. "Why are you getting ahead of yourself? Are you even listening to what you said? You're my wife for God's sake, we have a son together why would I leave you? It'll just be like before, I will come back to you two."
Fernando rubs your shoulders in an attempt to comfort you, in the hopes you'd understand his concerns.
"You say that, but we've been there already Fer. I single handedly witnessed everything that has happened to you while racing, and with Ales— I don't think I can... I don't think I want to constantly be on the edge of my seat worrying for tomorrow, and what will happen to you on the track."
With the tension up, words were spouted left and right, with no time to think before speaking, the arguments echoed back and forth to each other.
"Oh so you're giving up on us now?"
You scoff at Fernando's words, "Giving up? You did that first when you chose the racing contract over this family!"
Raising his hands, Fernando shouts in anger, "I just wanted to race, is it bad to pursue my passion? I support you in your career, can't I have that as well? It is my choice! At least we didn't get married yet if we're going to be like this then?"
You stand in silence, tears pooling at your eyes, feeling your world stop. In front of you, you watch Fernando shake his head at the realization of his words. "Amor—"
You step away from him, your shaky breaths fill the room clutching your chest, suffocating at your misery. Trying to drown out Fernando's pleas, erasing his words from your head, despite it being etched into every crevice in your head, taking home in your hollow heart.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that— no amount of words can ever make it better. Please say something? Tell me you hate me? Please amor, resent me. Whatever you want I will do."
You watch Fernando wince at your bloodshot eyes, as he reluctantly inches closer to you, afraid you'd leave him, like a glass slowly falling out of his hands. It was far too late now.
You let him in your embrace, knowing very well it would be the last time you'd see him, choosing yourself this time— choosing your son over the family you built together. You let yourself wallow in the last moments of comfort in his arms, because after this it'll just be you.
"Whatever? Then I guess I'm taking Alejandro with me. We're leaving so you can focus on your race. I hope you know that even then and now, I will be waiting. As much as it hurts— this needs to be done. I love you Alonso."
Pushing him away from your embrace, you savor in a last kiss before leaving him alone in the room.
yourusername 6/29/2022
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yourusername happiest birthday to the light of my life ales. mama and papa love you always, i hope to fill your life with love and laughter.
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★ YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND — @namgification @nebarious @minkyungseokie @viennakarma @lxclerc @booksandflowrs @c-losur3 @lichterfee @moonyzsworld @e-nonsense @vicurious28 @dannyriccsupremacy @thearchieves @welovediaaxx @vogueprincess @mael1pastry @khaylin27 @whydowesleepeachnight @iridescent-sol
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