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always-andromeda · 1 year

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-ˋˏ 𝒎𝒚 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆, 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒆 ˎˊ-

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠・Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭・2,720

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲・There are many difficult memories Joel associates with his birthday. Ones that he's attempted to forget for about twenty years. You attempt to give him a birthday to remember.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞・(credit to @saradika for the adorable dividers, please check her resources out!!) happy birthday, Joel; you deserve everything and more, babygirl. ♡

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬・post-outbreak universe, angst, comfort and fluff, pet names (darlin'), mentions of alcohol, lots of feelings lmao, those are all I can think of!

Eyes fluttering open, you drowsily felt the space on the bed beside you. The sheets had long since lost the warmth of the man that normally slept with you. You groaned. Of course Joel had to sign himself up for a patrol on his birthday of all days.

But you truly couldn't blame him. Though it had been a little over a year since he and Ellie had returned to settle in Jackson, he was still working his ass off like a new arrival; like he still had something to prove. As if Tommy hadn't vouched for his usefulness to the community dozens of times. As if Joel himself hadn't shown how he'd seemingly perfected the art of survival.

You'd learned why he was like this a year prior; when Joel had only been around for a few months. Back then he was merely a patrol partner who you'd found yourself catching the eye of from time to time. Back then he chuckled softly at your jokes and offered up little bits and pieces of his own history whenever the conversation called for it.

Then came the day that Tommy said it; the thing that made your heart break for his older brother.

"Damn...September 26th..." he'd sighed and whistled before taking a swig from his beer.

You sat on the stool next to him, swirling your own drink and throwing him a sideways glance. "Yeah, what's so special about today's date?"

Tommy looked down, then he explained, "It's Joel's birthday. How old is that bastard now?" a tight light smile formed on his lips as he seemed to reminisce. "Fifty-seven, I think?"

"Goddamn," you muttered. "Why didn't you tell me? I would've gotten something for him."

Tommy shook his head. An immediate sadness appeared across his features as he said, "Nah, he hasn't really made a big deal out of his birthday since...well...since ever, really. But he especially doesn't like talkin' about it these days."

"Why?"

Swallowing hard, Tommy answered, "A little over twenty years ago today was when the outbreak first started. And it was the day that Sarah passed."

Tommy had talked about Sarah a few times. He remembered his niece very fondly and with Maria's encouragement, made it a point to not let her memory be forgotten. After all, it was the memory of Sarah and anyone else lost to the virus that drove the community to continue on; to keep fighting for those who were still there.

But this time, her memory seemed to haunt him. Right now, Sarah wasn't a heartening symbol. She was a reminder of everything he'd lost – everything that Joel had lost – when the world fell apart. A reminder of just how hard both brothers tried to hold onto the scraps and how hard they fought to forge something new for themselves.

"Oh," you breathed out.

"Yeah," Tommy said. "He figured that it didn't seem right to him. To celebrate his life on the day that she lost hers. So..." he trailed off, searching for his words.

You stopped him with a pursed smile and a compassionate hand on his shoulder. "It's alright. I get it."

And you truly did. It made sense that Joel wanted to keep himself busy. Plenty of folks did that; couldn't dwell on the past as long as you kept moving. The simple answer, however, was that Joel didn't trust any of it.

Sure, Jackson was beautiful; truly a marvel of human spirit and ingenuity. But you always caught how unsettled Joel seemed, head kept low, eyes up at all times, checking to see if and when he needed to scoop Ellie up and jump ship. Decades of fighting for survival had turned him into a warrior. It had also turned him into a recluse; a closed-off, touch-starved old dog that bared its teeth when approached but still whined in relief when you scratched behind its ear. Every little bit of love you gave seemed to hurt as much as it helped.

Which is why you were determined to do something on this day. Something that would hopefully numb that pain a little more and get him more used to feeling the tenderness of real intimacy with someone.

It wasn’t easy. Once you had confirmed that Joel had indeed gone out, you got dressed and ran through your mental list of all the different vendors on main street that you needed to visit.

Though Jackson offered a range of luxuries, almost all of them came at a pretty decent price. A few hours in and you’d traded practically half of your things away to gather up the supplies to put together a present and a modest party. When Tommy caught you trading in one of your winter coats for a brand new pair of boots Joel's size and you told him of your plan, he almost looked nervous.

You second guessed yourself for a minute. Tommy had known Joel for much, much longer than you had. Maybe he knew better than you. But something inside assured you that this time around...you definitely knew better.

Quickly quelling the nerves dancing under your skin, you joked, "Don't worry, I'm not doing anything too fancy. I've got these boots, some new strings for that guitar of his, and after this, I'm gonna head down to the cafeteria and pick up some of those special dark roast coffee beans he likes. Just some little practical things. Don't wanna give the birthday boy a heart attack."

Tommy laughed, "He ain't had a birthday in over two decades, girlie; puttin' those alone in front of him might send him into cardiac arrest," he nodded towards the boots on the counter before you.

They were very nice. The kind of thing Joel always hesitated to get himself. During his year in town, you were pretty sure you'd only seen him replace his shoes once. And when he did, they were a well worn pair that had been tucked away deep in the town's clothing storages. Almost every day you got to see the ugly pair of boots stationed by your front door, rubber soles caked in dried mud and already starting to pull away from the rest of the shoe.

You scoffed, "Then so be it, because he needs these. He needs this."

Perhaps it was a little selfish of you. But you wanted to spoil him. More than anything you wanted him to feel just how much you loved him. Neither you or him had said it, always too afraid to speak those feelings aloud. The world had become too dangerous for such open affection. But you could show it. You could show how much you loved him.

"Okay, if you say so," Tommy replied hopefully. "Good luck on your little mission."

You appreciated his encouragement and smiled to yourself as you stowed the boots away in your wagon with the rest of your birthday stash. Perhaps you could make this birthday one that Joel actually wanted to remember.

The sun went down slowly, showering your kitchen in golden warmth. As much as you normally loved seeing the sunset, this time it made you nervous as it gradually faded into the darkness of night.

With your eye flickering between the clock and the front door, you were getting nervous all over again. You'd anticipated Joel spending the day out, but you hadn't expected him to be gone for this long. How many jobs had he signed himself up for that day?

The longer you lingered on the question, the more you doubted yourself. What if this was too much? What if it offended him? After all, in all the time you'd known him, he'd been a stubborn man, stuck in his ways. And this had been his way for so long. Who were you to interrupt that?

The urge to scrap the whole idea and pretend you'd never made the effort in the first place was strong. It would be embarrassing to explain that you had nothing to show for your day if and when Joel came home and asked about it. But surely it would be less embarrassing than facing rejection from him.

Before you could do anything impulsive, the door swung open, causing you to jump from your spot on the couch.

"Sorry I'm so late," Joel explained. "One of the horses kicked a fence in at the stable and Tony wanted to get it fixed before tomorrow so I stayed back to help."

Judging by his rumpled curls, tired eyes, and the stench of sweat and wood shavings that clung to him, you could tell he'd physically worn himself out that day. And you cringed internally knowing you were most likely about to wear him down emotionally as well.

"That's okay," you replied, trying to put on a chipper tone. "I'm sure Tony really appreciated your help."

"Damn right he did," Joel smirked before pulling his arm out from behind his back. In his hand was a bottle that you quickly recognized.

"Holy shit, where'd he get this?" you marveled, taking the bottle of wine from him and turning it in your hand as if it was a mirage. It was a Cabernet Sauvignon with a fancy cream colored label and gold text. You couldn't remember the last time you'd seen something this fancy that was actually intact.

"That fucker's got a whole load of alcohol from before the outbreak. Said he'd give me this one if I promised not to tell Maria about his stash," Joel chuckled.

"Yeah, no kidding," you said before pausing and looking back up at him. "Wait, Tony gets the stable guys to help him out all the time. Is he giving them all secret complimentary bottles of alcohol?"

"Actually," Joel began hesitantly, turning away to take off his boots and shed his jacket. "He said this was a special favor. Told me to go home and have a drink with my lady."

Coming from Tony, the sentiment would've made you roll your eyes. But coming out of Joel's mouth with that smooth-like-molasses Texan accent, it had you melting. At the end of the day, there was always something so warming being known as his.

As much as you knew about Joel's past through his own admissions, it was moments like these that let you know he'd changed so much since those days. Now, he was a good man. A good man who the community could depend upon. And more importantly, man who you could trust with everything...maybe even sappy displays of affection.

With reinvigorated confidence, you took his hand in yours and led him into the kitchen. Before he could ask what you were up to, you said, "Well, if Tony is so insistent on us having a good night, let me make it a little better."

Joel still seemed a little confused, his deep brown puppy dog eyes framed by furrowed brows as he watched you open the fridge and reached in to grab something.

In your hands was a simple cake set neatly in the middle of a glass platter. Under the layer of buttercream frosting were two layers of cake along with strawberry jam between them. The jam had been another trade you felt privileged to acquire. One of the women in town, Bonnie, made jams for every season. The strawberry jam you'd acquired was her last jar from the summer harvest. And you hoped and prayed with everything in you that you hadn't messed up the cake and frosting recipe you'd borrowed from her.

Setting those worries aside, you put on a small smile before setting the dish down on the kitchen counter before him. Joel stared down at it, a volatile expression on his face.

"I couldn't find any of those fancy little number candles, so we'll have to stick with the regular ones I have in my junk drawer. Though it would be funny if I just stuck fifty-eight candles on there," you rambled. "Not that fifty-eight candles would fit on there anyways. Or that you could even blow out fifty eight candles all at once–"

Joel cut through your halfhearted attempt to diffuse the tension and muttered, "How did you know?"

"Tommy told me–"

"Of course he did," Joel cut you off with a hint of exasperation.

"Wait, before you start planning on drilling him a new one, just hear me out. Because he told me about how hard this day is for you. And don't worry, I completely understand it. But...I–" you chose your words cautiously, "–care about you...a lot. And I wanted to celebrate you. I know you think that you don't deserve it. But I believe you do."

"Darlin'...this is..." Joel trailed off with a sigh.

You took a deep breath. It's now or never.

Finally, you said the magic words you'd held inside for far too long, "I love you, Joel."

He blinked hard a few times, processing this new information before it started to click. For the first time ever, you thought, you were seeing Joel Miller get nervous. You'd seen shades of uncertainty wash across his worn face, but never had you seen such boy-ish anxiety like this. With soft, glossy eyes and slightly quivering lip, he looked so different. He looked like a man unburdened by the world and his past; only weighed down by the crippling realization of just how much he was valued. You decided it was the most raw and beautiful side of him you'd seen so far.

You repeated firmly, "I love you so much. And I want to show you that love. Even if you've got nothing else in the world...you can have that. You get to have all of my love."

That made his head hang and his shoulders sag. You couldn't tell if this was a good thing or not. So you walked around the island and approached him gently.

"Are you okay, Joel?"

He lifted his head just enough for you to see that there were a few stray tears falling down his cheek. He wiped them away and sniffled before bringing himself to meet your gaze. With a wobbly smile playing on his lips, he whispered hoarsely, "I'm fine, darlin'. I'm just...I'm glad to have ya."

You wrapped your arms around him. And as he returned the gesture, he let himself bury his head in your neck. His tall, broad frame curled around you. The marble statue he seemed to be normally had crumbled away. Here he was all softness, all warmth, all yours.

With his lips beside your ear, you heard him murmur softly, "I love you too, darlin'."

Your chest swelled with joy so intensely that for a second you were sure that you were the one who would be having a heart attack. But even as tears threatened to spill from your own eyes, you forced yourself to take deep, even breaths to calm yourself down.

As the emotional fog of the moment cleared from your mind, you remembered the rest of your plan. With a start you pulled back from him and said excitedly, "I have some presents for you too!"

"Multiple presents," Joel laughed to himself. "Goddamn, woman, you've really thought of it all, haven't you?"

"Yep," you replied proudly. "I have."

"Well, run along and get 'em. I'll crack open this bottle and get out the glasses. Then I'll take a look at your presents."

"Deal!" you said before pressing a deep kiss on Joel's lips that was sure to make his head spin.

He watched you hurry upstairs with another quiet laugh. Turning to take another look at your handiwork, he thought back to the time before all this. A time when something like your modest cake would've been normal. But these days...to put time and effort into such displays was a rarity, a privilege. To him, however, it was doubly so, considering the fact that it was coming from you.

The warm glow filling his bones was unfamiliar. But this time he wasn't afraid of it. For once, he wanted to embrace it. It wasn't often that a guy like him got the love of a creature so special. And he intended to cherish it for as long as he possibly could.

#˚ʚ meda writes ɞ˚#pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal fluff #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #joel miller fluff

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puppetmaker40 · 2 days

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Today is my husband’s Peter David’s 68th Birthday. I don’t know where I am giving to visit him but I will today either in the hospital or the rehab center.

A little bit about my husband, the longer form can be found on Wikipedia if you search Peter David.

Peter is a writer of stuff. He is known for his comic book work, novels, and essays.

Comics: some of his achievements, wrote the Hulk for fourteen years, he created the Aquaman that Jason Momoa played in the films, created Spider-man 2099, the smart Hulk was his invention, X-factor, wrote Young Justice both the comic book and the animated series.

Tie in novels: probably best known for his Star Trek novels esp. Imzadi, Q-in-law, and the New Frontier with a character named Burgoyne 172 who is neither and both male and female. He did a number of movie novelizations for all kinds of franchises including Babylon 5, Marvel, DC, among others.

Novels: Fearless, Tigerheart, Howling Mad, Artful, the King Arthur series, Sir Apropos of Nothing and a whole bunch more.

Essays: wrote But I Digress for the Comic Buyers Guide, Op Ed pieces for the New York Times, and for his web log

Peter writes, he once told me, because he has to. He has so many ideas and what ifs running around in his head. We are working to get dictation to work for him.

Almost two years our lives were upended when Peter has a series of strokes, a heart attack, more strokes and a nasty Mersa virus that played havoc with his body. He is surviving with some physical limitations but the mighty writers brain works. I have been his caretaker since the previous strokes for over ten years and during that time he has developed diabetes and end stage renal failure for which he is on dialysis.

We still love each other very much and have held to our marriage vows close to our hearts

Happy birthday my love.

#peter David #Star Trek #incredible hulk #young justice #x factor #but i digress #aquaman #super girl #spiderman 2099 #migeul o'hara #happy birthday #my husband #I love him

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slafkovskys · 10 months

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god, luke realizing they were moving on with the engagement, just imagine him actually not being able to leave bed for days when the twins are born and his brothers or ellen post the picture

jack wasn’t at morning skate, which was weird only because he had been at team breakfast. he’s side tracked the entire time, earning the entire team an extra set of drills for his carelessness.

as he’s undressing, he thinks about asking nico because he figures he would know, but he had also been showing luke the cold shoulder ever since that spring’s events. as he’s tossing his jersey in the bin to be laundered, he stops by one of the equipment managers that always seemed to know more than he should, “hey, uh, have you seen jack?”

the guy looks around before leaning forward, “heard his girlfriend went into labor or something? he’s out, man. shouldn’t you know that about your brother?”

oh.

luke’s ears start to ring. of course he knew that it was around the time that she was due. he’d heard the mumbles from jack and seen his mother’s instagram posts any time she got pictures of her grandchildren, but he didn’t realize it was so soon.

“thanks, man,” luke shakes off the last comment as he makes his way back to his stall. he sits there, staring at his skates until someone calls out that the bus is about to leave and he has to rush so he doesn’t get left at the opposing team’s arena. he has his headphones in the entire ride back to the hotel, tuning out simon and his attempts at getting help with a crossword puzzle until his phone lights up with a message from his dad:

you didn’t hear this from me because you’re mom would not be happy, but the babies are going to be here soon. she’s with her, quinn’s there. jack’s on his way. let you know when i know.

and he was thankful that quinn was there. he knew his brother had opted out from traveling with the team to away games during the preseason and with context clues, he assumed angel was the reason. as soon as they’re back at the hotel, he shuts himself in his room and puts the do not disturb sign on the door.

he gets the notification jack would be away from the team for personal reasons thirty minutes later. seven hours later, in the middle of the game, he gets a text that he won’t see until much later:

they’re here. boy and a girl. healthy. quinn was right, we have birthday triplets.

he’s scratched the next game for a so called stomach virus, but in reality? he was too busy having a pity party for one.

#hughes bros x angel #jess writes

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nitrokiraru · 7 months

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i was today years old when i found out Aoba’s voice actor and virus share a bday LOL happy birthday to aoba’s va and virus!! u silly snake trash man. love his evil ass

#virus dmmd #dmmd #dramatical murder

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starryficsfinishwen · 1 year

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✧。◟ᴀᴅᴏʀᴇ — lee hyperreal x reader [PGR] [Happy Activation Day, Lee!!]

darling, you're the one I want

a.n. - self-indulgent comfort because I badly needed one. ALSO??? IT'S ACTUALLY LEE ACTIVATION DAY?!?! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE I LOVE YOU (COME HOME WHEN YOU COME TO GLOBAL, I'M SHARING THIS WITH YOU TOO READERS AND MUTUALS <3 <3 <3) I guess this is also short because I wasn't prepared (unplanned, the other one [NSFW] a little secret is the one who is planned LOL)

words - 1,458

pairing - hyperreal!lee x commandant (no specific genders mentioned, tho implied female)

warnings - none. comfort. super soft fluff with lee hyperreal. lowercase for the aesthetic™ I guess a bit suggestive?? because something happened to y'all the other night 👀

the first light of day cascades through your windows and lands on your outstretched hand.

as the outside world began its usual morning routine — the sound of machines clanking, chattering as the white noise, daylight dancing on the palm of your hand — you should wake up. a long, long list of things to do is waiting for you. Lucia and Liv could be in the maintenance room and you're needed for more paper works. but you don't — all you could think about was the warmth of the occupied space beside you, intertwined with you under the sheets.

Lee is here. Lee's sleeping beside you.

he's on his side, sleeping soundly, as one hand grasped yours, the other draped on your bare hips. both of your legs are tangled, your body nearly leaning onto him. his usual stoic face was relaxed, an expression you rarely see during the war. while the battlefield may have scorned his appearance, only moments like this would allow you to see Lee drop his guard down and show his human side.

propping a hand to support your head, you couldn't help but look at your sleeping lover. you've always known Lee has been so handsome; even when he had his Entropy frame, humans or constructs would approach him and ask for his number. but you couldn't help but laugh at that memory. this man is yours; unfortunate to them, but he's the one who is part of Gray Raven and the one who owns your heart.

was this the first time Lee was with you in bed? you usually see him after you wake up, preparing your morning coffee, the papers on your desk arranged accordingly. right now, he's actually beside you.

pride and love well up in your chest. although he may have given up his humanity years ago, you couldn't help but think about how you've learned to adore him. unclasping from his hand, you lightly touched his face.

tracing his face. from the blonde locks covering his closed eyes, to the shape of his jaw. from the chin, you drifted to the slope of his nose, the softness of his cheek. you tenderly traced the outline of his lips, which made you smile, as the events of last night replayed in your mind, the thought that made you blush and joyful. you may have studied all the lessons the F.O.S. taught you, but no one was there to write a book about Lee. and so, you couldn't help but want to touch every part of him that you could.

as you do, you couldn't help but think now; the war, the punishing virus, the ones you love. fear may be evident as it grows fondly like your endearment for Lee, but you solely believe in hope: in hope that one day, a world where you could roam with Lee and your team, and other people in Babylonia, without anything to destroy life anymore.

you leaned and kissed the corners of his mouth. one kiss turned into little kisses that littered across his jaw, up until the eyelids. your heart is heavy with endearment — you want to kiss Lee without hesitation, without a pause.

fortunately for you, Lee was already awake. the moment you started to touch him, he woke up from his slumber. but hearing you squeaking with joy, he let you have your moment. until you started kissing him anywhere but his lips.

jolting up, he took your wrist and flipped you over: you are under him, wrists lightly held above your head. “good morning, commandant.” said Lee, the raspy, morning voice making you smile with pleasure.

“good morning,” you replied, voice scratchy, “I think you made me lose my voice. how am I supposed to talk to the council now?”

“mm, that's not my fault.” he leaned down to nuzzle your exposed neck, breath tickling your shoulders, “I can tell them to reschedule. you need the rest after all.”

“still your fault. I still have so much to do.”

“why don't you do it then?”

you sighed, playfully rolling your eyes, “a certain someone made me lose the ability to walk.”

Lee lifted his head to reveal a smirk that made you want to wipe off of his face. “oh, really? that's unfortunate. would you tell me who it is?”

He let your hands go, still caging you in between him. deciding to play along with his game, you wrap your arms around his neck, laughing. “mm, well, he's good-looking. definitely an eye candy.”

“mhm, and?”

“he has blonde hair. a cute guy.”

“I think I get the image. what else?”

“a strange guy. he's also really shy but somehow switches personalities when there's no one else around.”

“really? that is a strange guy. I think you should stay away from him.”

“ah, I should, but that's a shame.” you mirrored his grin, “after all, he just told me that I should stay a little longer.”

a faint blush dusted his cheeks. he leaned down, lips closer to yours, that you could feel the thrumming of his heartbeat. “mm...if I told you to stay a little longer, would you?”

you pulled him closer, his body now touching on top of yours. two hearts now mirroring each other's beats. “I would,” you whispered, turning to kiss wherever your lips could reach, “I would stay with you.”

you wish you would. you wish it would stay forever like this: on a bed on a work morning, skipping whatever the hell was out for the both of you. for a split second, the image you had earlier reappeared in your thoughts: a white gown, a floral arc, an aisle, and the man in a suit waiting for you at the end of the aisle.

such thoughts shouldn't happen, but your heart, oh. you could never imagine the future without a Lee — Morian — in it.

“I love you, Lee.”

the three magic words that you've always wanted to tell him all the time. Lee didn't answer. instead, he nuzzles the warmth of your cheek. then the other. aiding him in his ministrations, your fingers tangle themselves in the softness of his hair. the shuffling of the blanket, the tangling of your legs. he moves downward now; kissing the edge of your jaw, to the crook of your neck, the dip of your clavicle. he looks at you, a twinkle in his eye as he kissed the back of your hand, to the inside of your palm.

he straddles you by the hips. you remember a construct's body may be different from that of a regular human, but to see the outlines of his torse, a transparent, glowing blue light from his spine, only made you look back at him with awe. you trace the outline, to which he holds your hand fondly.

“I've always seen you like a god.” Lee confesses. as he held your hand to his chest (his heart was beating erratically now), he spoke more of his feelings. “you have always been too kind to me, even though I can be brash and apathetic. you only show me mercy, and I don't even know how to repay you.”

“being alive and being here is enough for me.” you whispered, the pal of your hand flat against his erratic heart, “I can't imagine a life without Lee. without Morian.”

You felt his heart skip. He only chuckles, “I can't get enough of you saying my name. it feels...unusual.”

“I love you, Morian.”

He exhales. Taking your hand and kissing the palm of it once more, before looking at you with his tender cerulean irises, he whispers.

“I love you more, [Y/N].”

no one is alone here now. only two lovers, laughing under the sheets, incessant touches here and there, that only they can share with one another.

“w-wait!” you exclaimed, prying Lee away from you for a moment, “I forgot to give you something.”

Lee cocked his head, “what?”

you pecked his lips, grinning, “happy birthday, Lee.”

“really? that's it?” he laughs, holding your hips, “thank you, [Y/N].”

“I have a gift for you.”

“oh? what is it?”

excitingly rolling to your side of the bed, you pulled out a ribbon. looking at Lee, you carefully place the ribbon on top of your head. Lee's eyes darken with an expression you're now slowly getting used to.

“I'm your present.”

“...how am I supposed to open my present if they're already open?”

You wink, legs shyly opening. “there's more to come.”

and so, that was how your day goes, as the day bleeds into the nighttime. Lee doesn't know though, the real present that sits on your drawer, waiting for the right time to be opened.

comments, likes, reblogs are appreciated!! please don't copy or plagiarize my work!

#pgr #punishing gray raven #punishing gray raven imagines #pgr commandant #pgr global #pgr lee #pgr lee x reader #pgr fluff #pgr hyperreal #pgr hyperreal lee #pgr hyperreal lee x reader #pgr hyperreal lee x commandant #happy activation day lee!!!!#happy birthday lee!!!!!#come home okieeee!!!!!!

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citrusrei · 1 year

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In Every Lifetime.

Joel Miller x Reader MDNI 18+ Summary You fell for a man before the world went to hell. Nearly 20 years later, he’s there again in a different lifetime. Genre: a lil angst if you look at it right, Smut, fluff TLOU!Universe Word Count: 10.7k Warnings: Post-Outbreak!Joel, aggressive situations, a couple of hasslers, smut (piv ~unprotected~, fingering, hand jobs, creampies (again), slight breeding kink maybe? vocal dirty joel, mutual masturbation), age gap (14 years, joel is older duhh) lots of good Ol’ soft Joel, slightly possessive joel (again cause i love him), insecure joel :( happy ending cause my heart couldn’t take a sad one *please imagine whichever Joel you’d like whether it’s pedro’s or videogame joel cause I pictured both at certain points.*

AN: This is truly one of my fav things I’ve ever written lol Joel is so babygirl in it i’m crine. also this can be read as a one shot if u haven’t read the first one~ (but read the first one hehe)

pt. 1

listen to these as you read~

Life after the apocalypse was nothing anyone could have anticipated. Before the outbreak, you’d seen countless movies about zombies or the undead, or infected. But this was different. It wasn’t a virus, or a bio-weapon used to control the population. A fungus. A fungus that just so happened to mutate and create this global panic.

The night it happened you were with a friend of yours testing out a new club downtown. Everything was great. The drinks were cheap and tasty, the music was amazing, the vibe was just immaculate. You and your friend Holly danced, drank, and sang the night away. A little before 11:00pm is when things got strange. The music changed, slower now. Holly asked if you wanted another drink to which you declined, but followed her to the bar anyways.

“Another sex on the beach please!” she urged.

“You’re addicted to those, ya know?” You laughed, shaking your head.

She laughed with you, “I am not! They’re just so delicious I can’t help myself.”

As the bartender handed Holly her drink, you sent Joel a quick text asking him how his birthday was. You’d been taking things slow since the night you and him finally hooked up. He had admitted his feelings for you and you were right there with him. The both of you decided to give each other a shot. You had wanted to see him today but he had told you he was working a double and wouldn’t be home until late so you had planned something with him later in the week.

- 10:45pm Joel <3: Got home a couple hours ago. Sarah wanted to watch a movie and knocked out. Lil girl can’t run with the big dogs.

- 10:45pm Me: lol hopefully she got to see at least a bit of it! Holly dragged me to this club tonight and I’m kind of over it. Would rather be in bed with you rn 😉

- 10:46pm Joel <3: You got no idea how much I'd like that bout now darlin. You got me all weekend.

- 10:46pm Me: You better promise me that, Joel Miller!

- 10:46pm Joel <3: Promise.

- 10:49pm Joel <3: Tommy just called me. He’s in the county jail. I gotta go get him... text you in a bit.

- 10:51pm Me: You’re kidding...... jesus Tommy. But ok. Text me once you get him. Talk soon <3

You slid your phone into your bra and sighed, not surprised that Tommy found himself in a predicament like that. He was so headstrong and stubborn. You wondered what had happened to him.

“Everything okay?” Holly asked. You nodded but still you were unsure. Your eyes floated to a couple on the dance floor as your eyebrows knitted together. The woman began to twitch, her limbs snapping in different, odd directions. It continued a moment. People around her began to notice and step away, creating a circle around her. The man she was with held on to her as an attempt to keep her steady. She fell to the ground, her body still moving slightly. As this happened, the man pulled his cellphone out, most likely trying to call 911. In the blink of an eye, she rose to her feet, jumping on to the man in front of her and sinking her teeth into his neck. It physically startled you as you latched onto Holly’s arm. “We need to leave.” You said, eyes never leaving the woman, the crowd now starting to panic. People dispersed in a matter of moments. You could see someone trying to pry the woman off the man who laid what looked to be lifeless on the ground. That person suffered the same fate. She was on him in an instant.

Holly looked around and realized what was going on before pushing you towards the door. Once outside, everyone was scrambling. And not just people from the club but the man across the street, locking his bail bond business up or people fleeing from a nearby diner a few doors down. It was mania. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you looked around a moment, not exactly sure where to go or what to do.

C’mon, ___! We gotta get to my car!” You followed Holly down the street to where she had her car parked when suddenly a horde of people ran by, being chased by what seemed to be someone covered in blood. Mucous and viscera gargled from his mouth as the sounds echoed through the street. The man dove to an older woman in front of him and began his attack. Holly screamed at the event which cause the man to turn his attention to her. He swung his arm out for her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her forward. You leapt into action, grabbing her body and pulling her back to you with such force, you could feel her back pop.

“Come on, run!” You screamed. The two of you sprinted to her car, not even minding the fact that both your heels had broken off in the process. She started the ignition and sped off, driving anywhere besides here.

“What the fuck is happening?!” She yelled, checking her rearview mirror to make sure no one was following.

“I’m not sure. I need to call Joel.” You pulled your phone out and dialed his number, but it went straight to voicemail. “Fuck!” You called a few more people, Tommy, your mom, your sister. No one answered.

“I gotta get home, ___. My-My son... I left him with the babysitter.” Holly cried, tears flowing now as she thought of all the possibilities of what could be happening to her child.

“Okay- It’s okay. We’ll go get him.”

You and Holly sped to her home, not minding the speed limit as literally no one was. You both got to her house without a hitch, thankfully. However, upon arriving you noticed the door was wide open. Holly’s eyes widened.

“Stay here. I’m going to go in.” She breathed, shaking so bad she could barely unbuckle her seatbelt.

You nodded, checking your phone again and seeing you had a missed call from Tommy. You called him back immediately. It rang once, “Tommy! Hello? Can you hear me?”

“___! I can hear you but barely.” He was staticky. The call was barely hanging on. “Where are you? Are you safe?”

Tears began to prick your eyes as he spoke, his voice comforting you. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m with Holly. We’re getting her son. What is happening? Are you with Joel? Is Sarah okay?”

Tommy sighed, “I’m not sure. It’s a mad house. Av-oid downtown bu-t drive west. We’re over that w-ay. I was with Joel and Sarah b-ut I got sep-arate-d. Meet us p-ast the theater o-n the west side, okay? I got to g-” Suddenly the call dropped, showing no signal. At the same time Holly ran out with her son RJ in her arms. She set him in the back seat and jumped into hers, her tires squealing as she backed out of her drive way. Just as she pulled out, the babysitter came running out of her front door, growling animalistically. Your eyes flashed from her to RJ, checking for any wounds which you found none. He was bawling, completely terrified.

“Hey, Tommy said drive to the west side past the theater and we can meet them there!” You said, climbing into the back seat to comfort RJ. You cradled the 2-year-old and hushed his sobs. He clung to you for dear life as you rocked him back and forth. You drove just outside of Austin, avoiding the mobs of people. Many people had the same idea as you but the flow of traffic stayed decent, only stopping every so often. The three of you rode in silence until a blockade came into view. It looked like the military was stopping people and directing them east. The exact opposite of where you needed to go. As Holly pulled up to the officers, they signaled her to roll her window down.

“How many in the car?” he asked, shining his flashlight in the vehicle.

“Just us three.” She answered.

He nodded, typing something on a tablet he held, “Okay, head east 15 minutes from here. There’s a larger Military presence over there and they’re taking survivors. I’ll add 2 women and a child to the list so they know you are coming.”

“No-No, we need to head west! We have people we need to meet!” You said quickly. The officer scowled and shined his light back to you and RJ who had calmed down into sniffles.

“Sorry ma’am but you can only go east. West side of Austin is under lockdown and no one can leave or enter. You go east.” He finished, walking to the car behind us.

You set RJ down next to you, buckling him in before returning to the front seat. “We need to find Joel and Tommy. We can’t go East.”

Holly shook her head, turning her tear-soaked cheeks to you. “No, we’re going east. I have RJ to think of, ___. If Joel and Tommy are smart, they’re already there waiting for you.” You sighed, defeatedly. She was right. The Miller brothers were very resourceful. It was a possibility. Maybe they were already at the safe zone. Same with your family. You nodded, your heart twisting in your chest as you agreed with her and then you were off.

It was a 15-minute drive but you could see the lights and helicopters before you even got there. It was massive and there were hundreds of people and tents popped up everywhere. It would be forever before you found anyone. The officers let you all in, setting you and Holly into a medical tent with a few other people. RJ slept in his mother's arms as the Doctors and Soldiers came in and out of each tent. Your leg bounced with anxiety. You glanced around the tent and around the area in general. People sobbed and cried and yelled, asking where their loved ones were, or what was going on, and saying they wanted to go home. You couldn’t help but to agree. You wanted nothing more than to go home and go to sleep and wake up and have this all be dream.

Some time passed before the fedra soldiers came back with water and blankets. They said they were transporting people to quarantine zones as soon as possible. You wanted to fight back and say you had people to find, but everyone was saying that. So you sat and obliged.

Finally, the doctors made their way into your tent, checking on the other habitants first. They did a full body check on the young girl sitting on the cot. She was clean. Next was the mother, she didn’t speak any English. She cried to the doctor, “Por favor, doctor. No estoy enfermo. Quiero irme a la casa.” The doctor just looked at her, checking her body over anyways. She cried and cried and your heart broke for her. It made you sick. You wanted to go home too, desperately. You wanted your mom or your sister. Or Joel. The doctor finished his search and nodded to the soldier. The soldier came over to the woman and dragged her away. Her daughter screamed on the cot as they subdued her. You couldn’t look anymore, it hurt too much. You averted your gaze back to Holly and RJ who was awake now, rambling in her arms. She raised her hand to wipe the hair out of his eyes, and that’s when you saw it. Your eyes widened as you noticed the three scratch marks on her wrist.

Present Day. It was fall now. Mid-October. The cold decided to make an early appearance and you were thankful for the older couple you’d stumbled upon a few weeks ago. They’d stocked you up with a good amount of food and a thick winter coat. The old man had been saying it was going to be a Winter with a sharp bite and offered you the jacket. Who were you to deny an old man and his wisdom? They let you stay there a couple days. Maybe they had been too trusting. You could have easily killed them while they slept a few doors down from you. You’d even thought about it. They had plenty of food and a barn with a couple cows and chickens. You could just take it if you had really wanted to. You hated that those were thoughts you had. They were showing you such kindness and trust, hell, the older woman even baked you a pie. A fresh baked pie?! It had been probably 20 years since you’d had one of those.

The course of the last 20 years moved in a blur. From you being split from anyone you’d known and sent to a QZ in Illinois, to that said QZ being destroyed by fireflies only 5 years of being there. You’ve had to do horrible, heinous things to survive; which you hated yourself for. You searched and searched for anyone familiar. Someone you’d gone to school with, babysat, or maybe a neighbor. Anyone. And that never happened.

As you scrambled for a place to find shelter, dark storm clouds rolled in, bringing a late fall storm. The trees all shades of burnt sienna and burgundy as their leaves fell to the ground, leaving the smell of their decay lingering in the air. It was a comfort to you. You’d always been a fall type of person and being out here in Wyoming, it was almost magical. You adored the whip of the wind across your skin as the air became colder, a few drops of rain kissing your cheeks. In the distance, you could see a small shack, clearly (hopefully) abandoned. You trudged on forth, minding the ache in your knees. You’d been walking for a while now, and you definitely weren’t 22 anymore.

As the shack came into a better view, the rain began falling harder. You picked up speed, not wanting to be completely soaked and thankfully mother nature allowed you to reach your destination before it really pelted down. Once inside you looked around and no surprise, it was empty. It was a small, dusty home. Only having a living area, kitchen and bathroom with a bedroom off to the side. You sat your backpack and rifle on the couch as you sat next to it, reclining and stretching into the cushion. You were so comfortable as you listened to the rain patter against the roof. The room was dark and cold, you couldn’t help but close your eyes and drift off for a bit.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed, but when you woke up it was still raining. You stretched, shaking off any remaining drowsiness but when you went to reach for your backpack a gun cocked at the back of your head. You froze, raising your hands in compliance.

“Stay fucking still.” The voice said. You blinked, annoyed with yourself that you let your guard down. “Don’t plan on going anywhere.” You retorted.

You sat there a few moments before another voice spoke, “Hey, kid! What are you doing?” The gun’s nozzle stayed firmly planted against your skull, “She was in here asleep! I was getting the upper hand!” The other person came up to your assailant and pushed the gun away before stepping in front of you, hand at her gun on her hip.

“Who are you?” She asked. She was average height, darker skin tone and had these beautiful braids in her hair. She seemed a bit younger than you but had to have been in her mid to late thirties.

“Doesn’t matter, I’m just passing by.” You sighed, not really in the mood for an interrogation. I mean, you’d just woken up.

“Why are you in the area?” she asked, probing further. The other person, a young girl, went to stand next to her, eyes locked tightly onto you. Did you really come off as that threatening? The girl had to have been 13-14 no older than that. Maybe 15. You couldn’t really tell.

“I told you. Just passing by.”

“Maria, she doesn’t really look like much of a threat...” The younger girl hushed. The older woman, now known as Maria, sighed. “What’s your name?”

“If I tell you, will you let me leave?” You asked, your annoyance increasing.

“It’s pouring still. You want to leave in the middle of a storm?” The younger one remarked.

You sighed, “It’s ___. My name is ___. I don’t have any intention of hurting or robbing or killing any of you. Just needed a place to stay while it rained. Is this your place? I didn’t mean to intrude.”

Maria shook her head. “No, it’s not. We were out on a hunt and it started pouring. Saw this place and had the same idea as you, I suppose.” Maria relaxed, removing her hand from her hip and settling down on a chair opposite from you. “I’m Maria. This is Ellie.”

Ellie scoffed, “Maria! We could have used fake names!” You smiled softly, loving the kick-back. Maria just shrugged, relaxing further into her chair. “Where you from, ___?”

Your eyebrow quirked as you thought of an answer, “Good question. Kind of everywhere. Midwest originally. Stayed in the Chicago QZ after the outbreak. Didn’t last long. Been traveling since.” Which was mostly true. You were in Texas of course for a while, and there had been groups you stayed with since the QZ fell, but none of them worked out in the end.

“Why Wyoming now?” She pondered.

“Well, just kind of found myself here. Was with a few people and that ended. Now? Well...”

“What happened to them?” Ellie asked.

“Doesn’t matter. Looks like the rain is letting up. Am I free to go?”

Maria sighed as she hesitated for a moment. Ellie watched her intently not quite sure where she was going. After some time, Maria spoke. “Alright. You can go if you’d like. Want to follow us though? We have a town a bit north from here. Could set you up a place to stay for a few nights, get you some food, a shower...?”

“A shower?” You asked incredulously. It’d been so long since you’d had a proper bath and you knew you needed one desperately.

She chuckled, nodding.

“A hot shower too!” Ellie chimed in.

You hesitated a moment, weighing your options. One, you could go and have an amazing shower and meal and sleep in a safe place... maybe even on a bed. Or two, it was a trap and they were going to sell you off or maybe even kill you and cook you. If it were the latter, they probably would have killed you by now, so you decided. Fuck it.

“You have a deal.”

You followed Maria and Ellie a few miles until a rather large town came into view. You could see the area had power as the sun had begun to set. Lights twinkled throughout the homes and your heart almost got caught in your throat. “You guys have electricity?”

Maria nodded, “Yep. We have a dam nearby that give us power and stuff.”

You all walked a bit more before finally reaching the town. It was massive considering things. As you approached the guarded gate, you could hear people chattering and kids laughing. What were you about to get yourself into?

Maria raised her hand at the guard who stood at his post, signaling for them to open the gate. As they did, a man rushed to Maria’s side pulling her into a tight hug. You didn’t pay much attention to it as you peered into the town, eyes wide.

“Where have you been? It’s been hours! I was worried sick!” He spoke. Maria rolled her eyes, “I don’t know if you knew this but it was raining cats and dogs about an hour ago? Ellie and I found a little shack and waited it out. We found her too.” She said, pointing towards you.

Your attention was brought back to Maria and as you looked to the man in front of her, your eyes widened even further. His face matched yours as you both stared at each other.

“T-Tommy...? No fucking way.” You stood there like you’d seen a ghost. Tears pricked your eyes and you blinked them away immediately, scared that if you looked away, he’d disappear. Tommy rushed to you, pulling you into a tight hug, squeezing the air out of your lungs. You clung back to him, letting the tears fall freely.

“___… I can’t believe it.” He breathed into the side of your head, bringing his hand up to your hair.

“I’m guessing you know each other?” Ellie asked.

The two of you embraced a moment longer before he let go of you, keeping you at arm's length. “What... where... I can’t even formulate a sentence right now.” He said, tears of his own stinging the corners of his eyes. You laughed, biting back more tears that dared to spill, “I’m in the same boat, Miller. It’s been so long.”

Your heart was pounding as you reunited with your former friend, just stuck in a state of shock that after all these years, you’d run into someone like Tommy Miller. What are the odds?

“This your place, Tommy?”

He nodded, “Yeah, Maria and I oversee things for the most part. Come on, let’s get some food in ya.”

You followed Tommy, Maria, and Ellie through the town until you reached the mess hall in the middle of it. As you walked through the streets, people greeted Tommy and Maria. They were doing their duties or relaxed on their porches, enjoying their space. Enjoying their life. Their guards totally let down. It was a sight to see. Children played with each other, splashing in the fresh rain puddles and chasing each other down in a game of tag. It was almost unreal.

The four of you entered the mess hall, the smell of fresh cooked food entering your nostrils. You’d been living off canned beans and peas for the past few weeks so your stomach was instantly rumbling. Tommy sat you at a table while he went and grabbed you a bowl of chili and bread. You could have cried as you ate your first bite; it was hot and fresh. “Is it good?” he laughed. All you could do was nod, stuffing your mouth with another spoonful.

After you ate, Tommy and you caught up to date as best as you could. Ellie and Maria had wandered off somewhere else leaving the two of you to yourselves. “So, you and Maria?” Tommy smiled, “Yeah. Couple years now. Even married her.”

Your eyes widened, smiling at your longtime friend, “No shit! Wow, who would have thought Tommy Miller to be married.”

He laughed, “Yeah, yeah. Such a shock, is it now?” You just laughed back, looking down at your empty bowl.

“What about you? Anyone special over the years?”

You rolled your eyes jokingly, “Maybe a few here and there. Nothing serious though.”

“Don’t know why. You’re still a looker.” He poked.

“There’s the Tommy I know and love.” You grinned, pushing his shoulder playfully, “Not everyone has the luxury of living in a town like this one and meeting the love of their life.”

Tommy leaned back in his chair, agreeing with you. “Well, maybe it’s sudden but you know how I am. You know you have a place here with us. We’ll set you up with a lil’ house. Get you on the board for some jobs. Wasn’t a doubt in my mind when I seen you out there that I was gonna let you leave again.”

“You gonna hold me hostage, Tommy?” You laughed.

“Might have to.”

You’d be a fool to pass it up, you knew it. But you were nervous. How could you adjust to a life of ‘normalcy’ after being essentially feral for so many years.

“Mind if I think on it a bit?” Tommy shook his head, “Take all the time you need. In the meantime, I got someone you might want to see.”

Your eyebrows knitted together in thought. Who could he have been talking about? And then it hit you. In the excitement of everything that had been happening in the last couple of hours, you hadn’t even considered the idea that Joel could be there. Your heart started pounding in your chest again, butterflies swarming in your stomach as the thought of seeing him entered your mind. You’d convinced yourself that he’d died years ago. That both him and Tommy had died and Tommy was in fact here before you. It’s been 20 years and the idea of seeing Joel Miller still sent you spiraling. “He isn’t…” you began. Tommy smiled at you as he radioed someone over the talkie, “Anyone got eyes on Joel?”

Your heart hammered so hard Tommy could probably hear it. He had to have been pulling your leg. You started becoming self-conscious. You hadn’t showered in weeks, you were grimy, you had aged. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself because when was the last time you’d had to worry about that?

“He just got in from patrol, you need him?” A man said on the other side of the radio.

“Yeah, send him to the mess. Got someone he needs to see.”

“Roger that.”

Tommy made small talk while you both waited for Joel to arrive. You couldn’t process anything though. You were suddenly so nervous. How was he going to react? Would he be just so happy and cry? Yeah right, that was so anti-Joel it was laughable. Would he just be nonchalant? Like, wow. Been a while. Nice to see you. You couldn’t even predict it. Tommy could sense you were anxious and placed a hand on your shoulder to calm you down. “Hey… it’s Joel. You know him. No need to be nervous.”

He was right. You did know him. But the keyword was did. You knew him 20 years ago. You’ve changed since then so of course he’s changed as well. What if he didn’t even remember you? God, you’d be so embarrassed. “Y-You’re right. I’m just in my head I guess.”

“Well get out of it. I think you’ll be surprised. Want a drink?” He offered.

“God, yes. What do you have?”

“Well,” he began “probably don’t got those fruity little drinks you used to like but I can sure get you a glass of whiskey.”

You laughed, exhaling a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, “Okay. Whatever you got.”

Tommy returned with the drink quickly. You downed it as soon as it hit the table, the whiskey burned the back of your throat and chest as it went down.

“Still can’t shoot whiskey, huh?” Tommy teased. Your face scrunched up into a look of disgust, “Fuck, guess not. That’s awful.”

Tommy opened his mouth to say something but was distracted by the mess doors opening. There he was. Joel Miller in all his glory. Tommy walked up to the man, patting him on the back before striking up a conversation. You were out of earshot so you couldn’t hear anything but you weren’t sure you wanted to. If you were anxious before, you didn’t even know what to call how you felt right now. You felt like you could throw up on the spot, but maybe that was the whiskey talking. He was the same. A bit aged, but still Joel. His hair was grayer, bit longer too. Still scraggly, but it’s always suited him. Maybe he was a bit more muscular but you couldn’t exactly tell cause of all the layers he had on. You stirred in your seat as your heartbeat went a thousand miles per minute. He was here, and he was alive.

Tommy led Joel over to the bar and poured him a glass of amber liquid, maybe in a way to prepare him. Joel took a sip, not noticing that his brother had signaled you over. You stood from your chair, stomach in your ass as you made your way over to them. Nothing could prepare you for this. You had half a mind to run out and never look back. But your heart yearned for him, even if it were just to be in his presence, even just to say ‘Hi’.

You reached both men, standing at the chair behind Joel who had his back facing you.

After a moment of you trying to talk yourself up, you spoke. “I’ll have another one, Tommy.” You said, sliding your glass over to him. Joel turned around, finally aware of your presence. His eyes scanned up your body until they met your face.

A chill ran up Joel’s spine as he heard a voice ask for another drink. It was a voice he knew all too well. One he hadn’t heard in 20 years, besides in his dreams. His eyes met yours for a moment, until you turned away under his gaze. No words were said and honestly you didn’t feel like they needed to be. He stood from his chair and faced you fully, eyes shimmering behind the tired look on his face. Almost like he was renewed.

“Hi, Joel.” You managed to get out, your words finally finding you again. Confidence found you too as you looked the man in the eye. He sputtered a moment, not quite sure what to say before he decided nothing was best. He wrapped his big arms around your frame, pulling you in for a hug that was even tighter than Tommy’s. You hugged back, gripping to the back of his flannel. He smelled the same with just a hint of something new. That warm, musky Joel smell that reminded you of cedar and whiskey with the added sent of pine. You could have gotten drunk off it. Not in a million lifetimes could you have imagined the day would come where you were reunited with him. You had to have been dreaming. More tears spilled and you cursed yourself, tired of all the waterworks.

Joel held on to you for what seemed like an eternity. You didn’t mind at all. In fact, you welcomed it. It’d been too long since you’d been touched in general you hadn’t realized how much you’d been craving something like this, let alone from him.

“I’ll give the two of you a moment.” Tommy said, knocking on the bar and walking over to Ellie who was coincidentally walking up to you all and pulling her away with him, “Oh c’mon, Tommy!” She yelped.

Joel finally pulled away, but still keeping you at bay, “I don’t... I don’t understand. Where did you come from?” He was breathless. He kept thinking it was a dream, you being here. He didn’t want to wake up.

“Well, that’s a long story,” You laughed, “Most recently from Colorado. But it doesn’t matter. I don’t even know how we’re both here to be honest.”

Joel smiled down to you, his grip tightening, “It’s kind of unreal, right? I kind of.... thought-”

“That I died? Trust me, when I saw Tommy, it was like I’d seen a ghost.” You recalled, eyes softening as it really hit you that Joel was here in front of you. Unchanged, just slightly grayer.

“I-I looked for you... For years. I kind of went mad about it for a while. So much happened that night.” His face twisting into a look of discomfort as he remembered the night things started.

The two of you sat and spoke for hours, catching up on everything. Joel told you about Sarah and how Tommy stopped that soldier. You cried when he spoke about her; he teared up too. You told him about Holly and how she’d been taken that night. How you looked after RJ until he got sick one winter when he was 8. He didn’t make it either. He told you about the Boston QZ and people he’d met along the way. How he met Ellie and how that went down. You did the same. A lot was similar in the way you lost people, and a lot was different.

At some point during the conversation, Joel reached over the table and took your hands into his. You couldn’t even imagine pulling them away. By the time you caught each other up to speed, the clock above the mess door said it was nearly one in the morning. At this point, it was only you and Joel in the room. It was so strange to you how 20, almost 21 years had passed and it was like you’d talked to him yesterday. You both fell so naturally in line with each other, you had no idea why you were so nervous to begin with. The two of you sat in silence while Joel rubbed circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. You hadn’t felt this kind of comfort in so long, you didn’t want it to end.

Suddenly, the doors burst open to reveal an irritated Ellie and an exasperated Tommy. “Joel, you have all day tomorrow to catch up. You promised me you’d teach me that dumb song on your guitar.” she said, throwing her body down on the chair next to Joel.

“I’m sorry, we tried everything in our power to keep her entertained. You know how she is about her Joel.” Tommy joked, pushing Ellie’s head forward slightly.

Ellie scoffed, “Yeah, right. This old man? I’m just making sure he makes good of his promise.”

“You know I always do. But, she’s right. It is gettin' late. I’m sure you gotta be tired.” Joel said, looking over at you. You nodded, finally paying attention to how exhausted your body was.

“Yeah, I am. I’ll give you Joel back, Ellie.” You said smiling to her, “Tommy, you said you got a place I can stay a while?” He nodded, beckoning you with his hand to follow him. You went to follow him but not before Joel grabbed your wrist, stopping you from going any further.

“Promise we’ll talk tomorrow?” His eyes searching yours for something you weren’t sure of.

“’Course. I’m not going anywhere.” Your answer seemed to satisfy him as he gently let go of your wrist and stood. “Alright.”

The next few days flew by. You’d gotten cozy in your tiny home. Which really wasn’t so tiny. Two bedrooms, a working bathroom and kitchen. You could have died there you loved it so much. Tommy had taken you to the pantry to get some essentials stocked up in your house. They gave you a few days to settle in before getting your answer on if you’d be staying long term. Which, of course you were. You saw Joel and Ellie every day. She was always in tow behind him which you thought was the cutest thing ever. She’d been growing on you and you hoped you were growing on her as well. She acted tough at first, almost like she wasn’t interested in getting to know you, which Joel told you she’d come around. You really hoped for that. And you succeeded.

It seemed like Joel made up any excuse to see you throughout the day. Literally the most mundane things, and there he was. Knocking on that red front door of yours.

“Tommy told me the sink has been leaking. Figured I’d come take a look at it.”

“Actually, the sink has been doing just fine.”

“Oh, well. Maybe I should take a look anyways.”

Or, “I made an extra sandwich. PB&J. Ellie said she didn’t want it. I figured we could have lunch together.”

“Oh, I actually just made some eggs. Also, aren’t you on patrol today?” He pouted, “Oh, yeah. I have a lunch break though. It’s alright if you don’t want it. Jus’ thought I’d ask.”

“... a peanut butter and jelly sandwich sounds pretty good right now.”

And even, “Hey, Maria said they’re playing that one movie you liked at town hall tonight. The one with the green guy and the donkey?”

“Shrek?”

“Uh, yeah. I think so. Want to go watch it me? Or, uh... I mean, Ellie and I?”

“Sure, Joel. I’d love to.”

It was so funny to you. But you loved it. It was so in character for him to beat around the bush or to just make the little excuses to see you or hang out with you without just plain saying “Let’s do something.” You’d come to realize Joel really hadn’t changed much at all in the decades you’d been apart from him. At least, in the ways he’d been showing you. You also realized maybe you hadn’t changed much either over the years. You found yourself falling into ‘normalcy’ easily. You lived for the moments where Ellie would come over and ask you to have dinner with them. Or the little excuses Joel made up to see you. It filled your heart in ways you weren’t even aware of. You were excited to wake up each day, knowing you were with people. Maybe even your people.

Days turned into weeks and you’d even been assigned work at the preschool during the day. Sometimes you’d take shifts at the mess halls bar, serving drinks to the men and women in the town. You figured it was a good way to make friends. Joel and Ellie always sat at a table near the bar when you'd work with the excuse of keeping you company. Not that you minded, at all.

One night, a few months after settling in Jackson, you called Ellie over to the bar, “Hey, come here. Wanna teach you something.” Ellie pointed to herself making sure you were talking to her to which you nodded, smiling to her.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Wanna learn how to make a drink?” You offered. Ellie’s eyes lit up and she agreed eagerly, “Um, yeah, duh! What drink?”

“Well, let’s see what we got. Not much to work with but here,” You said handing her the glass, “Put some ice in it, and fill it up to here with this.”

You handed Ellie the bottle of bourbon on the shelf behind you. She opened the bottle and filled the glass halfway, eyeballing it to exactly where you had pointed. “Hmm, how about we top it off with this?” It was an almost empty bottle of ginger ale. She followed your instructions, filling the glass to the brim. “Okay, now take this spoon, put it at the top of the cup and slam it to the bottom.”

Ellie looked at you with her eyebrows quirked, “Slam it? But why?”

You laughed, “Just do it. Trust me.”

Ellie tilted her head, unsure, but did it anyways. She slammed the spoon down, causing the glass to fizz up, nearly spilling over the edge. “Oh shit... Can I drink it now?” She asked eagerly.

You laughed again, now tilting your head as you thought a moment, “Well, not too sure about that one, Ellie. Why don’t you go ask your dad?”

Ellie grabbed the glass and carefully walked over to the table Joel was sitting at. You watched from a distance as she asked the older man if she could drink her creation. Joel looked over to you and gave you that look, you mouthed a sorry and stifled a giggle. “Not today, kiddo. Try again when you’re older.”

“Oh, c’mon, Joelllll. I can’t even have a sip?” She whined. It was endearing.

You watched as the two of them went back and forth, arguing over the drink and who was going to drink it. You smiled to yourself. The moment felt so... domestic. You didn’t know what to think of it. But by the way your heartbeat picked up, you figured you might have liked it.

You were cleaning glasses and organizing the liquor when a couple of men sat at the bar, and removed the hats off their heads. “Back from a late patrol, boys?” You asked, placing cups in front of them and pouring some whiskey into it.

“Yes, ma’am. Not much out there when it’s ‘bout 10 degrees and snowing.” One of them said. He was a regular. Here at the bar every Thursday and Friday. Maybe Sunday’s. You’d picked up from his friend that his name was Luke. He was younger. Probably about 25, maybe 26. His friend, who you learned was named James was a bit older. Mid-thirties, married, had two kids. They were both nice, however, James was a flirt despite being wed. Luke tried but he was pretty inexperienced. Both alright looking though, the younger being taller and thin, blond hair and blue eyes. The older one was shorter in stature, bit thicker, with darker hair and green eyes. If you were honest, you weren’t the biggest fan of James, but a you remained cordial.

“It is a chilly one out there,” James began, “Luke needs someone to keep him warm at night. You’re single, aren’t ya, ___?” He said, smiling. His grin somehow gave you bad vibes, but you smiled back nonetheless.

“I am. But I'm not looking right now. Sorry, Luke. I’m old enough to be your mom!” You laughed, finishing up wiping a couple of glasses and setting them in a tray under the bar. “Barely! Maybe if you were a teen mom or something.” He retorted. You just smiled and went about your business.

A little while later after a few more people came and drank, it was almost time to call it a night. You peaked behind the people finishing up their drinks and sure enough, Joel was still there, with a book, listening to the random music that played on the stereo. You bit your lip, hiding the smile that adorned it. He was always there.

“All I’m saying is that, if I weren’t married, I’d be all up on that! Luke, c’mon she’s a single cougar. Get your head in the game.” You overheard James's whispering to the younger man next to him. James sighed, “I don’t know, James. She’s been seen with that Miller guy. Not Tommy but the other one. He’s scary. Heard he’s killed a bunch’a guys.”

“Oh, come on. He’s not that bad. Just an old dude. Plus look at her. She’s fucking worth it, man. The ass she has on her? God, and those tits.” James continued.

You mentally scoffed. You figured he was a slime ball but this was just flat out gross. Thank God the mess hall was closing soon because you were about ready to give the man a piece of your mind. Suddenly, James said something, attempting to get your attention but you pretended not to hear.

“Helloooo! I said can Luke get another drink here?” He repeated himself.

“Oh, sorry. I’ll pour you one more but we gotta close up soon.” You replied, filling Luke’s glass once more.

“Jesus, Luke. You see that? Dumb and hot. I bet you could convince her to get in bed with you.” This was your last straw. You get they’d been drinking but they clearly lacked common sense. You turned to the sleazy drunk, ready to tear him a new one but it turned out you didn’t need to. You stood there; arms crossed waiting for whatever was going to happen next.

“What’sa matter, baby? Suddenly want a piece of what Jamesy-boy has to offer? Got enough to go around!” Your eyes rolled as he tried again, digging himself a further hole.

“Don’t think she likes what you’re offering her, Jamesy-boy.” Joel said behind him, placing both of his hands on either of James shoulders. Luke’s eyes widened at what was happening, or at least about to. He had some decency to know what James was saying was wrong, but he lacked the balls to say something about it.

“Wha-What... How would you know what she likes and doesn’t? How dare you come up and put your hands on m-” James bit his tongue when he turned around to see a seething Joel behind him.

“Wanna repeat what you were about to say?” Joel asked, leaning down into the man's face. James shook his head quickly, struggling to move from his seat as he was so frightened.

“If I see or hear you talking to her again, hell, even lookin’ at her, I’ll mess you up so bad, your wife won’t even want what ‘Jamesy-boy' has to offer. Y’hear me?” Your eyes widened at Joel’s threats and you couldn’t help but like what he was saying. His words turned in your stomach as you felt the heat build there and further down. Only God knew what that said about you.

James nodded, trying to slip past Joel. Luke got up as well, ready to follow his friend out. “I didn’t hear you say it. Out loud, now.”

“I-I won’t talk or look at her again. S-Sorry about that.” He stuttered.

“Good. Don’t apologize to me though.” Joel said, signaling over to you.

“I’m sorry, ___. It-It won’t happen again.” You nodded, acknowledging him, waving him away.

The two of them scurried away like the rats they were. Good riddance. You looked at Joel who was now sitting at the bar. “Jesus, Joel...”

He scoffed, “What? Was that not okay? He was harrassin-”

“I think you’ve gotten softer in your old age.” You chimed in. Joel stared at you, confused as to what the hell you were talking about.

“Excuse me?” He asked. “I told him I’d beat him so bad he’d be disfigured and that was soft?”

You laughed, finishing up the last of the cleaning before close. “Yeah. The old Joel I knew would deck a guy for saying something to me.”

Joel sat there a moment as he recalled the night at the bar where he broke a man's jaw for calling you a slut. He smiled lightly, “That’s right. You’re right... maybe I have gotten soft.”

Your eyes rolled as you grabbed your winter jacket and throwing it on, “Come on, softie. Walk me home.”

Joel obliged, getting up from his seat and following you out of the mess hall. The two of you walked into the frigid air, almost instantly shivering from the lack of warmth the place provided you. The sun had set a long time ago, leaving the milky blue hues of the night appear next to the luminescence of the moon. It was a sight. You stared up at the floating rock in the sky, entranced by its beauty. If everything in this world has changed, the moon stayed the same. You were a big fan. You were so engrossed in the way the moonlight shined; you had no clue someone was doing the same but to you. Joel walked with you, paying no mind to the road ahead of him. His eyes were on your frame, on the swell of your breasts, on your lips. He noted how your irises twinkled as you peered up to sky. It caused a lump to form in his throat, his heart rate picking up as he tried to swallow it down.

“Hey, Joel?” You asked suddenly, his gaze quickly leaving you as you looked to him.

“Yeah? What’s up?” He replied, clearing his throat.

“Back there… in the mess. I could have handled that myself.”

Joel was taken aback for a moment before chuckling softly, “Oh, darlin’ I know. He should have been more scared of what you were gonna do to him instead of me.”

You laughed back, nudging Joel on the shoulder with your own, “I mean it! I would have tore him apart had you not been there.”

Joel smiled, “I know, I know. Maybe I just wanted some points in my favor with you. Make me look cooler, maybe make you like me more.” He continued.

You looked at him with a confused face, “Like you more? Joel, I’m not sure if that’s even possible. I think I like you too much.” Your nerves started getting the better of you as you realized what you’d just said. Joel’s eyes widened but only for a second. He started slowing his steps down as he turned to you, “Like me too much, huh?”

“Just forget I said it.” You piped in quickly, trying to back track.

“Don’t think I can do that, darlin’.” Joel said, stopping you from going any further. He wrapped his calloused hand around your wrist, lightly pulling you to him. Your eyes softened as you looked up to the man, your cheeks reddening under the yellow-toned streetlight the two of you stood under. You wanted to look away. You didn’t want Joel to see the way he so easily made you blush. “Stop hiding from me. You look so pretty, tonight. You always do.” Joel placed his free hand under your jaw, leading your eyes to meet his.

“Why can’t you forget I said anything?” You hushed, entranced in the way he was looking at you. Like you were the most precious thing in the world. He just laughed, bringing his hand from your wrist to the other side of your face. “Don’t want to. Think I might like you too much, too.”

You smiled, heart racing, stomach flipping; everything. You brought your hands up to Joel’s jacket, running over the wrinkles until you hit his neck and kept them there. Snowflakes began to litter from the sky and danced around the two of you, melting as soon as they hit your bodies. “Well, Joel Miller. If you like me so much, why don’t you kiss me?”

“Can I?” he asked softly, nudging his nose with yours as he closed the space between you. All you could do was nod as your words failed. That’s all he needed before his lips were on yours. His soft lips met yours, only a little chapped. You moved with him as he kissed you, one of his hands wrapping around the back of your neck while the other fell to the nape of your spine. Your own hands wrapping around his neck and lacing through the bottom of his hair. You both stood there for what felt like forever, just enjoying the embrace. At one point Joel nipped the bottom of your lip, asking for an entrance. Your tongues moved and intertwined with each other as Joel deepened it even more. You didn’t want to break away as you were quite literally seeing stars and hearing fireworks but Joel stepped away first. “We-We need to stop, baby girl.” He said breathlessly.

“Why? I want to kiss you more.” You insisted, moving your head to kiss him again.

Joel grinned, pecking you again lightly once, twice, maybe a third time. “Trust me. I need to kiss you more. But not here.” You agreed with him as you pulled him further down the street. It was a straight shot to your house when suddenly Joel stopped again.

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

He hesitated, his face etched in concern. “You’re not gonna regret taking me home with you, are you?”

Your eyebrows pulled together as you looked at him like he’d said something ridiculous, because it was. “Joel, do you think I’d regret it?”

He hesitated, unsure of himself, “Don’t know... ‘S why I’m asking you. Don’t want you mixed up with the ‘crazy old guy’.”

You paused a moment, almost laughing at how silly it was. You walked right back up to Joel, placing both of your hands on his cheeks a pulled him into you, kissing him once again. It was full of intensity. You wanted to show Joel just how badly you wanted him, crazy or not. Hell, you were old too. Joel fell naturally into it, wrapping his arms around your body. He chased your lips like he was addicted. It sent you soaring. After a moment, you pulled away, “Come on. Take me to bed.”

Joel placed his forehead against yours, holding you to his body. You could hear the heavy, desperate breaths coming from him like he was wagering with himself. Joel cupped your face once again, his lips ghosting over yours before whispering, “Let’s go.”

The trip to your bedroom was hazy. You were so out of your mind with want for this man you were shaking. As soon as you both entered your room and the door was shut, Joel was at you. He shed you of the thick winter jacket you had on and the fleece sweater under that. You did the same to him, pushing off his coat and flannel in one go. Your lips met fiercely, your hands running up his chest to his neck, pulling him closer. You wanted to be engulfed in him in every way. It scared you a bit at how much you wanted him in this moment, how much you needed him. You shivered at the lack of clothing as Joel pulled your jeans down, leaving you in your bra and underwear. He stepped away but only for a moment as he discarded his shirt and worked on his pants. His eyes ever left your body. His breath grew heavy again, watching the way his chest puffed up and down. You could see the strain of his length, begging to be released as he stepped out of his own pants and returned to your body.

Joel kissed from your clavicle to your neck, biting and sucking as he saw fit. You moaned as you wrapped your arms around him, scratching his back lightly. He grunted, shuddering from the pain as it turned into pleasure. Joel grinded against you, his erection poking your belly. Your hand flew down to it, rubbing him through the fabric of his boxers. He sighed, kissing up your jaw to your mouth as he fucked into your hand. “f-fuck, baby girl. You’re drivin’ me insane.” He stuttered, his hands at your panties as he slid them down. He left them just below your ass, gripping your cheeks and kneading them in his large hands. You moaned again, your own hand slipping into his underwear as you continued your ministries. His cock was already slick with precum. God, he was so needy for you. Never in his life had he had a desire this intense. Both your bodies felt like fire as your fingertips danced over the expanse of each other’s skin.

You were just as desperate. You could feel the wetness drip from your folds on to where your underwear sat, your swollen bud just aching to be played with. It’s like Joel could sense that, as one of his hands left your ass and dipped inside of you. He circled your clit slowly at first which you could have cried at. You needed more. You bucked your hips into his hand and he got the hint, picking up his speed. You both stood there at the side of your bed, getting each other off. Both moaning into each other’s mouth, licking up his jaw as he did to yours.

“Baby, need to be inside of you. F-fuck, I’m goin’ crazy.” He breathed; his breath muted as he spoke against your lips. You were already so close from Joel working so hard on your clit, but you knew coming around his cock would be way more gratifying. You nodded, separating yourself from him as you shucked your bra off and climbed on to your mattress, minding the way you wiggled your behind ever-so-slightly to which Joel moaned out loud at. Joel rid himself from his boxers and climbed over to you, hovering over your body as he pecked hot, open-mouthed kisses up your body.

“You’re so f-fucking beautiful.” He spoke, eyes on you. Your own eyes rolled as you wrapped your hands around his neck pulling him in for another kiss.

“Quit buttering me up, Miller.” You sighed, licking a strip up his tongue. Joel’s grip on your waist tightened. He was so hard it was beginning to hurt. “Not doing no such thing, darlin’. You’re so fuckin’ pretty. Look at how hard you get me. Been doing this to me a while now. Just lookin’ at you, I could cum.” His words went straight into your heat as you clenched around nothing. You needed him in you or you’d quite literally die.

“Oh yeah? How long you been touching yourself to me?” You asked, your hand returning to his cock as you lined him up at your entrance. Joel slid his leaking tip in between your folds, running it up to your clit, rubbing there for a moment.

He laughed softly, “Long time, baby girl. Here and there before. But now that you’re here with me again; it’s almost every night.” Your back arched at his confession. There’d been many nights you’d lay awake since you moved to Jackson. Your mind thinking of the events of the day, but they’d always end up on Joel. They way he’d sip from his glass of whiskey, or bourbon. The way he’d come into the mess hall after a patrol, always a little disheveled and sweaty. Or the way he was always so intense with you, never looking away when you spoke, when you laughed. How he’d always find a way to have a hand on you, just to be as close as possible.

“Joel, put it in, fuck- all the way. Please fuck me.” You begged, your legs wrapping around his waist.

“You ready for me, sweetheart?” He asked, teasing your needy hole with his tip, pushing it in slowly. You nodded, lips back on his. Joel pushed himself in easily. You were beyond ready for him. He gasped at the sensation. He loved the feeling of his cock being swallowed up by you. He looked down at your cunt as he bottomed out, moaning at the sight.

“Jesus... you take me so well. Y’always have. Like you were made for me.”

His words sent you spiraling, your eyes rolling back as you felt his fat cock fill you up. He started at a slower pace that was still intense. His lips on yours as he kissed into your open mouth. You couldn’t help the moans and sighs that escaped your reddened, plump lips, abused from Joel’s own. Joel pumped into you, your slick mixing with his as you both created a symphony of wispy moans and slaps against each other’s skin. It was fucking beautiful. His hand pushed the stray hairs away from your face as he picked up speed, thrusting into you as the claps became louder. “Yes-s, take it. Let me see that pretty face of yours. So fucked out ‘cause of me.”

You loved how vocal he was. It was a driving force as he slammed into you, on the edge of his high. You were right behind him, the coil in the pit of your stomach on the verge of snapping. Joel’s thumb worked on your swollen bud again, circling quickly as he wanted you to come with him.

“Joel I-I'm so close, fuck!” You cried out, your arm thrown over your eyes as he rutted into you.

“Move that arm of yours, wanna see you when you come for me.” You obeyed, your arms wrapping back around his neck pulling him down to you. Joel kept his pace steady, and with a few more flicks of his thumb, you were unraveling. Your hand flew to his hair, gripping it as you moaned, calling out his name. Joel felt your cunt tighten around him, gripping him to you. “Yes, fuck, take it! ’s all yours, baby. Always yours.” His pace slowed; you felt the hot ropes of cum filling any leftover space inside you, coating you. Tears pricked your eyes as he continued the remainder of his thrusting, everything becoming too much.

Joel’s softened dick slid out of you and was replaced by two of his long fingers, “Don’t want you to waste a drop. Keep it all in, baby doll.”

Your eyes closed; body enamored with pleasure as your legs shook from the af effects of your orgasm. Joel collapsed on to you, pecking your chest and neck with more kisses and love bites. His hands found their way up to your hair and weaved into it. He wanted you close, but you weren’t going anywhere.

The room was quiet besides the sounds of both yours and Joel’s labored breaths. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears as you basked in the comfortable silence. It was a while before either of you spoke. You actually thought Joel had fallen asleep which sucked, cause while you loved him being on top of you, he was getting heavy.

“Do you regret it?” He spoke suddenly.

You pushed yourself up onto your elbows as you peered down to the older man on you. You looked at him incredulously, like you’d been shocked. “Regret what we just did?” He nodded slowly, eyes on yours.

“Joel,” You began, fully sitting up as you pulled him with you, “Why would you even ask that?”

“I just... Dunno. Just feel like you could do better than an old, crazy guy. Lots of guys ‘round here dying to have you even look at ‘em.”

You sighed, your shoulders slumping. Your hand reached out to Joel’s face, petting the grayed scruff on his jaw. You took some time to figure out how to say exactly what you were feeling, even then it was hard to explain. “If you think that, genuinely; You really must be an old, crazy man.” You laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

“I don’t think you realize that I am absolutely in love with you, Joel Miller.” Joel’s breath hitched as his eyes widened slightly. His heartrate picked back up. He really wasn’t expecting to hear that.

“Not Luke. Not James. No one else. Ever. I get that might be a lot to place on you so sudd-”

Before you could even end your sentence, Joel’s lips were on yours again. He kissed you so deeply, so passionately, that you could have exploded. Your body was so warm even with the bite of the negative temperatures outside. He pulled you on to his lap and just... held you. He held you so delicately, like you’d break with any amount of pressure. After a moment, he broke away and maybe you were just seeing things, but you could have sworn you saw a little tear drop, threatening to fall. Your eyes glazed over, tears of your own beckoning an appearance. You truly were just so in love with him, it was crazy. You’d only been reunited a few months back but, it was as if you’d spent the last 21 years with him. It felt as though no time was spent apart at all. Things between you just worked so naturally and flowed so well. Like you were made for him, just as he said. And as though he were made for you.

Another comfortable silence lingered in the air. You both just genuinely enjoyed the presence of one another. Joels hands rested at your waist, one them made its way to your back, rubbing small circles on to your skin. His head fell into you, resting just above your breast as he breathed you in. Your own hand had moved to his hair, scratching his head lightly.

Joel sucked in a big breath of air before speaking, “Don’t think I’ve heard those words in a couple’a decades.” You nodded along with him. It’d been a long time for you too. Joel looked up to you, too comfortable to move any further. His eyes glimmered as he looked into yours. It was as if you held the universe within those orbs of yours. He couldn’t look away.

“I am absolutely in love with you too, my sweet girl.” Now it was your turn to be surprised even if you weren’t really. Not like you’d been expecting him to say it, but it was still something. You couldn’t help but smile as a tear fell. You didn’t want to cry, not at all. But you couldn’t help it. Your body swelled with emotion as every cavity of you filled with love and admiration for this worn-down man in front of you. Both of you changed in so many ways, some for the better, maybe some for worse. But when you really looked at it, not so much was different. He was still Joel Miller, and he was yours.

“Good.” Was all you could say as more tears threatened to fall.

Joel smiled, a small laugh escaping his lips. “Good.”

taglist: @paleidiot, @aestheticangel612

i hope u all like this part! soft joel is my absolute weakness and i love writing him. i think i might take some requests so if anyone has any ideas for Joel Miller or even Din Djarin :o i’d be glad to see them! also lemme know if anyone else would like to be added to a taglist <3

likes and reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed <3

#pedro pascal #joel miller #joel miller x reader #tlou #the last of us #joel x reader #fanfiction #please lemme know if yall like it hehe

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theothersarshi · 6 months

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Guys. Listen up. We need to talk about safety, germs, and social pressure.

The #1 biggest obstacle in doing the right thing when it comes to illnesses, as far as I've observed (which is not statistically relevant, but whatever) is people being worried to do the right thing because it contravenes a social norm. They know what the correct action is, and then don't do it.

My mother got COVID because somebody showed up to a very small birthday gathering coughing and with a fever, because they didn't want to offend the host by not showing up on their birthday. Birthdays are important, personal discomfort is something you can get over, right?

A man who had a severe alcohol problem and many health issues because of that was asked over and over by his friends to "have a drink" - again, because it was his birthday and the man enjoyed drinking. It was important that the man be happy on his special day!

And maybe someone has chicken pox, but you don't want them to feel like they're socially rejected so you avoid treating them like they're icky so as not to hurt their feelings, so you just... hang out as usual?

It sounds stupid when you look at it from a distance, but in the moment the social hurt you'd be causing would be clear and immediate, whereas the effects of the wrong choice are distant, in the future and uncertain. You'll feel social pressure even if you want to be careful.

So:

Learn to prioritize health. Don't think of it as offending others vs. maintaining your comfort. Think of it in terms of protection. You are protecting your birthday friend from your flu/covid. You are giving making sure someone has an easier time when struggling with alcoholism. You are giving someone the gift of not feeling guilty about making you sick (and also passing this gift on by not getting others sick yourself).

Learn to show friendliness and social affection at a distance, and in alternate ways. "I am so sick, I'm sorry to miss your party, I would love to be there, but know that I love you. I'll make it up to you. Also, don't get my germs, they suck." "I know you're isolating in another room and it feels silly to call you on the phone, but how about we video chat so you don't feel alone with the pox?"

Because people weren't very nice about not spreading their germs, when I was a kid I got saddles with herpes (cold sores). The virus never leaves the body, and I get sores about twice a year, every year. It sucks. I will do my damned best not to pass it on to anyone I love, because I'm protecting them as much as I can from this thing I don't want either. When I wash my hands for the tenth time that day because I can't recall if I touched my lip recently or not, I think of how I'm keeping others safe.

And since sores mean definitely no kissing, either I show affection to my partner in other ways. E.g., I headbutt him against the shoulder like I'm a goat. It's a workaround, but it works and it makes him laugh, so hey.

Just... remember that not passing on illnesses is also a nice thing to do, and that you're smart enough to be kind to others in alternate ways when the normal routes are temporarily out of order.

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eviesaurusrex · 2 years

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ᴍᴇᴇᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛꜱ | ᴄ. ᴇᴠᴀɴꜱ

Chris Evans x Korean-American!Reader

summary: It’s tricky to introduce the boyfriend to one’s parents in the middle of a worldwide pandemic—so FaceTime has to be sufficient for now.

word count: 4k

warnings: a smidge of anxiety and insecurity, mentions of pandemic and the virus, talk about said virus, pandemic and overall social situation (but really short), but overall fluff, my inability of keeping things short, my attempts of Korean (I’m still a beginner’s learner, so I had to use some dictionary magic, sorry folks 👉🏻👈🏻), not perfectly proofread, a short social media post kinda thing at the end with Arden Cho as the faceclaim—but you can ignore that if you want <3

author’s note: I’m not Korean myself, but I kinda had this idea stuck in my head, and I really hope you won’t rip my head off because I’m writing something like this 👉🏻👈🏻 Edit: the wonderful @a-cup-of-earl-grey-please helped me with the Korean bits in this piece!! <3

;

Humming, YN pushed the door close with her hip, arms crowded by bags full of groceries so they didn’t have to go out for another few weeks without scratching the point of starvation and kicked off her flats. Commotion was heard somewhere in the house before Dodger rounded the corner and greeted her with an excitedly lolled-out tongue and big eyes, looking up at her and one of the bags in particular, tail wiggling heavily.

“Hey, baby,” she greeted her best (fur) friend before walking down the hallway to get her new possessions into the kitchen—Dodger hot on her heels. “Calm down, bub. I know that you know that I got you those treats, but you have to cut me some slack, yeah? I’m not your daddy who can easily carry everything on one arm and fish your stuff out with the other. It’s not so easy peasy lemon squeezy without muscles like Mount Everest, y’know?” Grinning, she talked with the dog while arriving in the kitchen and letting everything plop down onto the kitchen island.

She quickly went to the sink, squirted some disinfecting soap on her hands—she still wondered where Chris had found that invention—and started to wash her hands while singing Happy Birthday under her breath. A tad more than twenty seconds later, she rinsed the soap, dried her hands, and returned to the pile of stuff waiting for her to get unpacked.

Rummaging through the tote bags and the rare paper bags—only bought when her already brought bags weren’t enough—YN tried to find the treats Dodger was obsessed with and ripped open the new package before turning around and letting him sit. “Such a good boy,” she smiled while crouching down and letting him devour the small treats in the palm of her hand as if there was no tomorrow. “Don’t tell your dad, but I got him some treats as well. Remember the time when he emptied my bag of injeolmi raiseubol on his own? Well, he can’t eat mine anymore because he has his own stack now.”

Giggling at the tickling feeling of Dodger’s tongue lapping at her fingertips, she didn’t hear when Chris entered the lower floor. “What shouldn’t he tell me?” Looking up, a grin formed again on her delicate features. “Nothing?” The bear of a man raised a dark blonde eyebrow, and YN let him pull her upwards and straight into his arms.

Her Asian roots and heritage let her appear like a tiny fairy next to him. They could totally pull off a Tinker Bell and Peter Pan costume for Halloween now that she thought of… Depending on the outcome of everything and if the world could get its shit together before burning everything to ashes and the ground. But she would keep that idea in the back of her head because she really wanted to dress up at some point again.

“Got you some of those snacks you seemed to really like when you worked through every box and bag,” she whispered, lips ghosting over his after Chris had bent his head down to hers, nose tips softly rubbing against each other. “So that’s where you disappeared to?” YN nodded and let him push some of the dark, silky strands behind her ear. “Sorry for forgetting my phone. I was already halfway there when I thought of it and wanted to get everything before the flood of people came. Jus’wanted to get outta there as fast as possible.”

The current situation, even after weeks of their new reality, still haunted and scared her to an extent she never would’ve imagined possible. Wearing masks was nothing she dreaded—she was used to it from her time overseas during her studies—but the fact that everything got worse and worse without any sight of a turning point was anxiety-inducing.

Chris wrapped her tighter in his strong arms and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. “Don’t have to apologize, sweets. Just glad you made it back in time. The FaceTime call with your parents is still on for today, right?” Nodding, YN soothingly rubbed his back as soon as she heard the slight hesitation in his voice, saw and heard his thick gulping, trying to swallow the rising nerves. “Hey,” she mumbled, cupping his bearded face with both hands and giving him a serious look-over. “We don’t have to do this if you think it’s not a good time. We still can cancel if you wanna do it in person because it’s easier, less stressful, less nerve-racking. It’s not like they know what I’m up to—my mom may suspect something because she keeps track of me through tabloids and social media, but she knows that those are almost always lies and that I would tell her in time if something is up.”

She had never been nervous herself when it came to introducing her boyfriends to her parents because she almost always never really thought of what they would think about them. But with Chris? She really needed them to like him because even after only a year and a half, she knew with shocking clarity that he was the one for her. And her parents had to like him.

They simply just must.

But she also feared the possibility of overwhelming this poor man in front of her—especially now in times like these when they constantly brinked to the state of losing their heads through anxiety and plain fear of getting sick, and nobody knew what would happen then. She wanted to make it as perfect and comfortable as possible for him because she always wanted for him to like her parents back.

Chris’ hands atop her hips tightened their hold before gently loosening it again; his thumbs rubbed slow circles into the fabric of her shirt. “No… No. I still wanna do it. You already met my family, and I guess it’s time, don’t you think?” Softly shrugging, YN looked up at him, his face still enveloped by her hands. She started to comb her fingers through his soft hair, knowing very well that it soothed him more than anything else she could do. “It doesn’t matter what I think, love. I want it to be as comfortable as possible for you, y’know. You made me feel so welcomed when I met Lisa for the first time, so perfectly content with the moment. I just… just wanna do the same for you.” She let her eyes fall shut as Chris kissed the crown of her head before tilting her head upwards to him, his finger under her chin to move it, and proceeded to kiss her lips numerous times.

The tender pecks and the tickling feeling of his beard on her soft skin made her giggle.

“You already do, baby. Alone that you think about it so thoroughly… Fuck, I love you so much,” the man whispered against her lips. “The most perfect woman there is,” he continued, pressing another set of kisses to her lips. “Stop over-exaggerating,” YN scolded him with a soft laugh and swatted his broad chest. “Instead, help me get this stuff unpacked and carry this freaking heavy sack of rice in the pantry, Mister America’s Ass.”

With a boyish grin on his features, Chris shamelessly dug through the Korean snacks he had learned to love since YN had entered his life and had shown him the culinary variety she grew up with. “Ooooh, you got the honey butter chips!” Which was followed by: “And the chocolate-cracker stuff! Yes.” Chris had nothing but a sweet tooth.

Meanwhile, YN started to sort the unpacked stuff in piles for the fridge, the cupboards, and the pantry, while Dodger patiently followed her during every step, hoping for another handful of treats with big round eyes—and of course, he got one.

She never could deny her two boys anything.

—

Sitting on one of the dining chairs in the kitchen, YN smiled brightly at her iPad’s screen as her mom's face appeared with a similar smile. “Hey, eomma!” The familiar Korean word for Mom strangely always soothed her. Cho-Hee observed her daughter on the other side of the world closely before her dark brows furrowed over her worried eyes. “Bab meokeutni?” The daughter rolled her eyes with a soft smile. “Of course, I’ve eaten, Mom. Probably more than enough to sustain an entire town for a month. Netflix and snacks are my newest best friends,” she grinned before propping up her chin in the palm of her hand, eyes still trained on the screen. Her mother sighed softly. “I only worry about you, aegiya (baby), especially now with you so far away. Are you staying inside? Keep your distance? Order everything you can instead of going out to get it yourself?” She continued to nod at every given point. “Yes, yes, and yes. Though I feel bad for the people delivering me my stuff, y’know? It’s just unfair. But I at least can provide them with proper face masks. Last week I saw our postman with a mask almost already falling to pieces.” Through the upsetting feeling rising inside her, YN didn’t even realize she used our instead of mine. “Like… why can’t the government just provide them? Last time I saw a package at the store, I almost dropped to the floor. They’re so expensive, Mom. And then you have to be lucky to get some anyway. It’s like playing the lottery.”

Groaning, YN stopped her frustrated rambling spree before taking a deep breath. “Sorry, Mom. It’s just… I don’t know. It shouldn’t be like this.” It certainly hit differently when spending a lot of one’s lifetime in a country with a far better social security system, actually providing for its people. But her mother gladly didn’t object to her words. “I understand, love. I really do. The situation only emphasizes societal inequality—but maybe this is also a good thing. Try to be a bit hopeful, yes? Maybe this will lead to changes in the future.” YN couldn’t help it—as always—but admired her mother. She always tried to find something positive in every aspect of life or put hope in the future. “I try, I promise,” YN mumbled before cocking an eyebrow. “Where is Dad?” Her mother turned in her chair and called loving obscenities into the small house in the countryside around Seoul, demanding that her husband move his butt over so he could greet his only child—and utmost pride.

In-Sung appeared in the camera range of the propped-up iPad, and YN waved with a wide grin. Before meeting Chris, her father had been her most favorite male person on this planet—now they both shared that spot.

“Hey, appa (Dad),” she continued to grin but had to look down at the sudden feeling of a warm furry body pressing against her shins, desperate for attention. Dodger pushed his head between her knees and waited for her to grant him the attention he wanted. YN could see Chris out of the corner of her eye, trying to whistle the dog back without getting noticed for now. “Hey, princess. How you’re holding up?” Turning her head to the right, the woman looked over at Chris, lifting both brows softly in question. “Everything‘s great, Dad,” she said while communicating silently. Her father, on the other hand, observed the scene and her surroundings more closely as her mother would ever do. “Where are you, YN? This is not your living room. I would know if you had a window front.”

Turning back, she started to scratch Dodger behind his ear and picked up her nervous habit of biting on her bottom lip. “I… uhm…,” YN began before taking a deep breath. “I have to tell you something,” she continued and waved Chris over, who now hesitantly walked closer. He wasn’t in the picture yet, but her parents probably knew that something was definitely up. She reached for his hand, squeezing it tenderly and reassuringly, before softly pulling at it to get him to sit down on the chair right next to her. “Actually, I want you to meet someone,” YN corrected herself before softly pushing the iPad a bit to the right, so Chris was on screen right next to her. She still could see the surprised—but pleased—expressions settling on her parents’ faces. “Appa, eomma—this is Chris and… well, he is my boyfriend.” Shortly, she paused before opening her mouth again, suddenly overcome by the urge to explain herself. “This isn’t new at all, and I’m really sorry for not telling you sooner or introducing him sooner, but I kinda wanted to figure this out first before dragging another guy in front of you who would disappear in a month or two, so it’s not his fault, and again, I’m seriously sorry, and—”

Chris’ hand settled on her thigh, squeezing it gently to pull her out of that anxious state of self-explanatory she fell into. She looked up at him, swallowing the next flood of words at his loving, reassuring smile, and let him pull her chair closer to his before he moved the iPad as well. Dodger followed close while still sitting on his butt—lazy boy—and rested his head back on her mid-thigh; dark eyes kept looking up at her, demanding scratches and overall love from his other favorite human.

“You don’t have to apologize, aegiya, and you know it as well as we do,” her mom told her before smiling as brightly as the sun at Chris. He, on the other hand, started to shift in his chair before throwing her one last look—an apologetic one she didn’t quite understand—and moving his gaze back to her parents on the screen. “Annyeong haseyo, abeonim, eomeonim. Manna boepge doeeo yeong-gwang-ipnida (Hello, mother, father (in a formal setting, also used as mother/father-in-law). I’m honored to meet you),” the man right next to her suddenly spoke in almost flawless Korean, which almost led to YN’s fall from her chair. Her parents squealed in excitement—well, at least it sounded like squealing noises—and her mother clapped her hands with a wide smile on her face while her father nodded in utter approval. “This was excellent, Chris!” In-Sung followed close in his wife’s assuring words but directed to his daughter. “You will keep this one, young lady,” he warned her jokingly before chuckling quietly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Chris. Even though I have to say I already saw it coming,” Cho-Hee still smiled while YN only rolled her eyes. “Mom, please.” Her father softly shoved the woman next to him. “Don’t start bragging about your social media addiction, love. It’s nothing to brag about.” Both her parents laughed, and YN still couldn’t comprehend how happy they were even after so many years of being married and living together.

This was exactly what she wanted for herself—preferably with the man sitting to her right.

Chris chuckled next to her and let his arm rest on the back of her chair, fingers tenderly caressing her shoulder and upper arm. “Thank the universe for translators. Korean is such an interesting but difficult language if I’m being honest. I’m always listening and watching in awe when YN starts to speak so fluently, I barely can keep up with her.” YN grinned at him before turning to her parents again. “He is being modest. He asked me to teach him a few things, and his pronunciation is really good, even if he doesn’t like to admit it,” she teased him and nudged his side lovingly, bringing him to show his beautiful and radiant smile. “But I didn’t teach him that. You did so well, love.” The praise followed naturally, just like the kiss on his bearded cheek, not seeing the looks her parents exchanged.

“She is right. It sounded almost perfect. And the pronunciation is really the trickiest part, followed by the writing,” her father chuckled before an interested expression settled onto his face. “So, you two quarantine together?” Her mother had propped her chin in both hands and stared at the screen with something almost resembling heart eyes. Chris nodded. “We do. YN was still in New York when it hit, and everything started to shut down, so I drove down the coast and practically threw her in the car to have her here.” He needed to lie if he had to tell people he wasn’t relieved to have gotten her out of there—the news of the harsh impact in the city still haunted his dreams. His anxiety tried to spiral every night until he reached over to the other bedside to feel YN sleeping safely and soundly right next to him.

“Why didn’t you just leave, aegiya? Poor Chris,” her mother almost chastised her with a raised finger, and YN gently shrugged. “I didn’t want to bother him. I wanted to ask, but you know how I get. Y’all know.” Chris pulled her closer to his side and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Your nosy mother probably already knows it—…” Cho-Hee hit her husband’s shoulder at that, and he chuckled under his breath, “—…but how did you two get to know each other?” YN had already opened her mouth, but her mother was faster. “You know they made a movie together! We were at the premiere!” In-Sung patted her hand gently. “I know, my impatient love, but I want to hear it from them. Main source acquiring.”

YN grinned at that and shrugged softly before looking up at Chris. “I mean, we knew each other before that already. Remember We Bought a Zoo?” Both her parents nodded. “Of course, we remember! It was your directing debut.” Again, her mother seemed to have heart eyes, and YN’s grin widened. “Well, Scarlett and I became really good friends, and suddenly she introduced me to this man here but we never had the right timing, didn’t we?” Chris shook his head with a soft smile. “Not really, no. Either it was me who was in a relationship or you, but I’ve always fancied you, sweets. It may’ve started as a crush, but then my agent told me you would be in Knives Out, and I just had to text you after disappearing for… weeks?” The woman chuckled gently. “More like months to almost a year, but we’re staying with weeks to make you feel better about it, love.”

He grinned at that before turning to face her parents again. “And then one came to the other, we grabbed a couple of coffees, I realized she finally wasn’t taken anymore, and I practically jumped the gun at her on our last day of shooting.” She accepted the kiss to her temple again. “That’s why you two seemed too familiar and… cozy on that carpet. Young lady…” Her father grinned a cheeky grin, and YN returned the exact same one on her face. “I’ve learned from the best,” she winked at him, meaning the innocent but nonetheless loving moments she always witnessed when they were out in public, and her father and mother behaved like lovesick teenagers—but the adorable kind, with long gazes and lingering hugs without pulling too much attention from passerby’s.

“We are really happy for you two,” Cho-Hee said with a loving smile. “Is your dog somewhere? He is part of the family as well, after all,” she smiled, and Chris nodded with a grin. “He is. Jus’ a sec’.” He took the iPad from the stand and switched the camera while filming the space underneath the table where Dodger still sat between YN’s slightly parted legs, head resting on her mid-thigh. His eyes looked up at him and the iPad, but he didn’t move an inch, reveling in the scratches and petting continuously provided by YN. “He is enamored by her,” the man chuckled, listening to the cooing echoing from the speakers before moving the iPad back up and switching the camera again. “So, the Evans boys have something in common,” In-Sung laughed, and Chris just had to laugh alongside him. “That’s probably true,” he continued to grin and looked over at YN with a lovestruck expression as she checked the clock.

“We won’t hold you from your sleep any longer.” Her parents smiled at their only child, visible pride on their faces. “But Mom?” Cho-Hee hummed in question. “Could you find me the recipes for Gamjatang, Kongguksu, and Doenjang jjigae? I think you still have the recipe book of halmeoni (grandma), and I forgot to write it down when I last visited you.” Her mother nodded with a soft smile. “Of course, my love. I will look for it tomorrow morning.”

YN mumbled a gentle “Thanks, eomma” and leaned closer to Chris. “It was a real pleasure to meet you officially, Chris. As soon as domestic travel is allowed again, you two must visit so the rest of the family can meet him.” Both nodded at the words of In-Sung, and both couples waved their goodbyes and ended the FaceTime call.

;

Chris laid outstretched on the sofa after he had changed into a Red Sox shirt and watched the baseball game on the tv screen until YN ventured into the living room—clad in a pair of sports tights and one of his shirts. He moved a bit so his back was resting against the armrest, and welcomed her with open arms as YN climbed atop of him.

“Do you think they like me?” He just had to ask that question because it had ghosted through his mind since they ended the call an hour ago. The woman smiled down at him and continued to play with his long fingers. “After you showed off your Korean skills?” Chris smiled bashfully up at her and wrapped his arms around her back as she leaned down. Their lips almost touched as she spoke again. “They adored you from the beginning,” she whispered and kissed him tenderly. “Yeah?” YN nodded at his question. “Totally,” she stressed and giggled as something came to her mind. “Mom wrote me a few minutes ago. Told me again to really try to make you tag along when I visit the family again. Called you sawikkam.”

He looked confused, and YN giggled again, pressing another kiss to his lips. “It means future son-in-law or prospective son-in-law. A person who’s worthy of being their daughter’s husband.” A glowing smile stretched across his face, anxiety instantly gone. “Oh, is that so?” She hummed, lips still partially connected. “It’s a great honor.” Another kiss was pressed to his softly parted lips. “My mom never said that to any of my boyfriends before you, so… You have their blessing if you ever think about going that path. You don’t have to, of course, and you don’t need to feel pressured into anything if you don’t think it’s what you wa—…”

Chris couldn’t let her end that ludicrous sentence and just pulled her incredibly close to kiss her like a man possessed. “Stop that thought right there,” he huskily whispered and let his hands wander over her back to her butt, closing his fingers around the cheeky globes and pulling her body closer to him after he had sat up on the couch. “We’re in this for the long run, sweetheart. As if I could let you go again.” A soft laugh escaped YN as she wrapped her legs around his slender waist and let him kiss her again like he loved her more than anything.

And in Chris’ opinion, precisely that was the case.

;

chrisevans I met her parents, so it’s time to make this social media-official, I guess ❤️

[yourinstagram]

Liked by lisa_capuano, scottevansgram, evansstan, yourfan1, and 1,230,879 others | 271,005 comments

scottevansgram I can finally show off with all the pictures and videos I have of her scaring the living daylight out of you! A victory for humankind!

liked by yourinstagram, yourfan1, chrisstan2, and 111 others

↳ anthonymackie I’m interested in said footage 👀

yourinstagram You used a very pretty picture, handsome. A wonder it doesn’t have the quality of a photo from one of those conspiracy websites allegedly showing Area 51 💀

liked by yourfan7, yourfan5, scottevansgram, and 548 others

↳ liz_olsen rip Chris Evans 5/11/2020

↳ chrisevans Do you try to insult my perfectly working phone?

↳ yourinstagram I not only tried—I did 😘

liked by simu_liu, imsebastianstan, yourstan1, and 88 others

evansstan My life finally has meaning again 😱

lisa_capuano I’m so happy for you two ❤️

↳ yourinstagram Thank you, Mama Evans 👉🏻👈🏻

↳ lisa_capuano I’ll swing by later to leave some treats out at your door, sweets ❤️

↳ yourfan1 Mama Evans loves YN SO MUCH 🥹

liked by lisa_capuano, carly_evans, and 15 others

chrisstan1 I saw you once at the café I worked, and I saw how happy you two already were. I’m really, really happy for you, Chris <3

imsebastianstan So happy for you two. Though I need to demand some alone time with my best friend post-lockdown!

↳ chrisevans Which of us do you mean? Choose your words wisely, Seb 👀

↳ yourinstagram He obviously meant me, love 👸🏻

↳ imsebastianstan I actually did, yeah. Sorry, C, but I knew her longer

↳ chrisevans That’s how betrayal feels like. Wow. 💀

↳ yourinstagram Don’t act all drama queen on social media, Chris. I can see your grin from the other side of the kitchen 👀

liked by imsebastianstan, chrisevans, carly_evans, and 327 others

↳ yn_and_chris I love them, your honor 🥺

yourfan2 Thank you for making her so happy, Chris! ❤️

↳ yourfan3 +1

;

Sorry for adding that social media bit, but my brain screamed at me to just go with the flow and do it 👉🏻👈🏻 Hope y’all enjoyed this one and don’t come for my head because I wrote this as a non-Korean. If I did something wrong Korean-wise, please let me know! I appreciate your help a lot, especially as a beginner learner. Gotta learn from those mistakes 👌🏻 I’m super unhappy with the ending and how this one turned out bc I’ve never introduced my partners to my parents bc they never cared enough lol. As usual: comments, reblogs, and likes are much appreciated!

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