#happy massholes

[sevennone]

240325 VGK@STL | overtime cellies with marchy and the tendie

[fake-it-til-i-make-it]

god i love the massachusetts-official tumblr

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

not totally insane but the OG13 reacting to Massachusetts breaking crates of tea open and throwing them into the harbor

and watching as he accidentally threw someone into the water, thinking it was tea

(quite possibly might’ve been one of the states, but who knows?)

(not forcing!!)

Ah yes I see you have risen from the dead :) /lhj

New Hampshire: honestly, he wasn’t too phased by it, seeing as he had overheard Mass talking about doing it. He wasn’t expecting Mass to toss someone overboard accidentally. On purpose? Sure yeah that’s a Massachusetts thing to do. On accident? "HEY WHO DRUGGED MASSHOLE’S DRINK-"

Rhode Island: Mans was too busy planning to burn the Gaspee, but when he heard what Mass did, he was so damn proud of him… yes this includes the tossing someone overboard too.

Connecticut: Like NH, he already knew what Mass was planning, but he, like Virginia, "wasn’t too happy about it". But somewhere, deep down inside him, cried happy tears.

New York: Mass refuses to part with this kid for any reason, so NY went with him. Happily too. He got to climb stuff and throw other stuff at Redcoats. This includes throwing boxes and rocks at anyone that got too close to Mass. They were proud of each other.

New Jersey: Mans watched the whole thing from afar and definitely did not cry happy tears due to how proud he was. He felt even more proud seeing his twin throw a soldier overboard (even after Mass told him it was accidental). He also recorded the whole thing in his notebook that he still has.

Penn: there has never been a moment when Penn was more proud than this one. He was so damn proud of his lovely boyfriend <3 After Mass tells him that he threw a soldier overboard thinking it was a crate of tea, Penn just laughed (yes he did) and said "Guess he was such a piece of sh*t he looked like the crates!"

Delaware: as much as he wanted to be a little upset, he couldn’t. It was too amazing to see. Even better seeing Brits get tossed overboard.

Maryland: Now- since he’s a mother hen, they didn’t take the time to appreciate that the whole thing happened, he was too busy checking the two dumbasses (Mass and especially York) over for injuries and scolding them on their reckless actions. Mass got the worse of the scoldings. NY was too baby for Mary to want to yell at.

Virginia: he went to go take a nap. Bro face-palmed himself so hard that he knocked himself out. Deep down tho, he was hella proud.

North and South Carolina: you bet your sweet ass they were laughing their own asses off watching the whole thing.

Georgia: mans was too eepy to watch it happen, but both Mass and NY got a pat on the back from Geo and a "good job!". Geo still thinks that the glare Mary gave him was worth it lmao.

[tylernumber19dourememberus]

hi! finally making an intro/pinned post so i can hopefully make some mutuals on here :’)

i’m going to use this blog to post all my hockey thoughts and bruins lb bc all my irls aren’t into it 💔

- margot

- 20!

- she/her

- boston born, raised, and living. the most masshole to ever masshole. came out of the womb screaming ‘bobby orr,’ probably.

- i also follow canes, canucks, kraken, and rangers… except i have a slight disdain toward the rangers lol

- favorite players of all time……. bergy (💔), pastrnak, swayman… tyler mf seguin (if u couldn’t tell by my blog name). marchand, boychuk, lauko. tyler fucking bertuzzi. i miss him so much. JARVY, BRETT MF BURNS. also big nico hischier gal! don’t mind me some hugheses every now and then too

- i fuck with baseball too, obviously a red sox fan because i’m so far up boston’s ass i can never get out

- aaaand pwhl boston. sat ice side at a game in march and megan keller looked at me right in the face and i haven’t recovered!

- love reading books! occasionally fics but not huge on em like i used to be

- this used to be a panic at the disco fan blog… i rebranded a few weeks ago after not touching tumblr for like 7 years. happy to be back!

so. yeah! go b’s, stan pastrnak for clear skin!

[afpwestcoast]

Union Transfer, Philadelphia, 6/8/24

Before the show there was a Patreon meet-up at RUBA, an eclectic event venue that was an easy walk from Union Transfer. Amanda played In My Mind, and Gaga, Palmer, Madonna on the ukulele, explaining that she had recently relearned the latter for a fundraising party for MIT Press, with whom she is contemplating collaborating on a new book. She talked about how she was absolutely furious when she went on stage last night, without specifying why. But she said she had wanted to play Truce because playing it while angry is “pure catharsis.” In the event they did not play Truce at either show, and speculation on how Truce was or was not related to the source of her fury is left as an exercise for the reader. She then settled in to answer questions from the crowd, and I raised my hand to utter perhaps the most cringe-inducing sentence in the English language: “I don’t have a question, but I have something to share.”

Since the bulk of our relationship consists of trading snarky barbs, you could almost see Amanda mentally bracing for what was to come.

I said, “Last night on stage you talked about how songs could be a kind of curse, and it reminded me of the first thing I ever wrote about you. This would have been in 2004 before I had ever met or talked to you, so it’s basically my first impression based solely on your performance.”

Amanda: <significantly more mental bracing>

Me: Here’s what I said: Amanda Palmer does not sing for money, and she does not sing for your entertainment. Amanda Palmer sings in self defense because there are powerful songs rampaging through her soul and if she doesn’t release them they will destroy her. Amanda: …

Me: And so … I see you.

Amanda: …

Me: …

Amanda: …

Me: …

Amanda: …

Me: OH MY GOD I SHUT YOU UP!

Amanda: <very softly> It was the ‘self defense’ part that got me.

——

We actually beat Amanda to the venue and were already lined up when she arrived for sound check. She came over to me and said, “The guy who shut me up!” and gave me a fist-bump.

I said, “I was hoping for a ‘Fuck you, Tom.’” (The coveted ‘Fuck you, Tom’ is the highest achievement award in my interactions with Amanda.)

“No!” she replied. “I was too sad.”

The show on Friday was definitely a good, solid show. While discussing the difficulty of comparing the quality of different shows my friend Cam, another frequent attendee of multiple shows, put it very succinctly: “Did I ever tell you about the worst Dresden Dolls show I ever saw? It was pretty good!” So really, nothing bad to say about the Friday show. But the Saturday show was simply on another level.

The band was tighter - think Friday: dress rehearsal, Saturday: opening night.

The crowd was more animated and responsive. Everything just clicked. It was an absolute thing of beauty to behold. After the show we were at the end of the signing line and so got to spend a bit more time with Amanda than we normally would have. The main topics of conversation were the incredible energy from both the band and the crowd, and the immeasurable fuckability of Andy Pettitte twenty years ago, which was the source of major bonding between Amanda and my friend Nikki.

I told Amanda it was an amazing show and that during the gobsmacking intro to Half Jack I literally started laughing out loud. Not because anything was funny, but because I was just So. Fucking. Happy.

She said, “Awww! I fucking love you!” And melted into my arms for a big hug. It was no ‘Fuck you, Tom,’ but it will do in a pinch.

Annotated Set List:

Good Day (Brian on guitar to start)

Gravity

Sex Changes

Backstabber

My Alcoholic Friends

Missed Me

Ultima Esperanza

Welcome to the Internet (Bo Burnham cover) “This song is by a fellow Masshole, and I take a lot of pride in that.”

Pirate Jenny This song from The Threepenny Opera (lyrics by Bertolt Brecht, music by Kurt Weill) has been sort of a deep-cut favorite of both fans and the band forever (take a look at Amanda’s keyboard). Though they play it infrequently, it was actually in Amanda’s solo set before the Dresden Dolls were even formed. The bombshell revelation this night was that they are actually considering putting it on the record! After playing it Amanda said, “That song was written over a hundred years ago. Can you imagine a band in 1960 being like ‘We got one from 1860!!’? But actually, yes, olde timey songs, freaky songs: this is like our folk lineage. The weird, dark theater weirdos of the 20s.”

Delilah (featuring Veronica Swift)

This was the demarcation line between the old, familiar songs, and the new songs.

Brian said, “Amanda always gets very nervous at this portion of the show, and I always get very excited.”

“I get excited!” Amanda exclaimed, in a squeaky Mickey Mouse voice. “However,” Brian continued, “this is the exciting moment, which we have not gotten to experience in a very long time, which is the crucial fundamental building block of what the Dresden Dolls are about, which is diving into the unknown. … No more important thing or person or friend have I found in my life that so matched the dreams and hopes and desires and fire and piss and vinegar inside me that wanted to get out in one fucking place.”

I honestly didn’t know Brian could talk that much.

Houdini

Mister God I love this song, but picking up the rapid-fire lyrics, even after hearing it many times, has proven difficult. But, obviously, it’s only real if Mister God says. Boyfriend in a Coma

Whakenewha

“What songs are worth writing? And what songs are worth throwing away? Songs are weird. And I kinda don’t want to be the person writing these songs. I wanna be like, a mature person. But then I think, like, ‘Wait a second … you ARE a mature person. Because, these are the songs that are coming and you’re writing them even though they are scary.’ And here this one’s my favorite.”

The Runner

The Nail (Amanda on synth) They had barely started when there was some sort of medical emergency in the crowd. The band stopped, the lights came up, and Jaron and the venue staff dealt with it quickly and efficiently. Amanda said, “It can be super awkward at a rock show when nothing is happening, but when that happens just like nothing should happen. So just like … wait.”

Bad Habit Amanda said this was going out by request to someone she met this afternoon, making it the most requested DD song in Philly!

- Housekeeping -

Including dad hats (which turned out to be a big seller), and an exhortation to register and vote, and a request to join the mailing list. Amanda finished by saying, “You should also floss and hydrate.”)

Coin-Operated Boy

Half Jack The prolonged intro was one of the best I’ve heard them do. They were both just exploring, quasi-independently, but never losing track of what the other was doing. It is frequently said that Brian is the best drummer in the world (and not just by me!) and it is instances like this where that is proven. It was compelling and engrossing and could have gone on for another 15 minutes as far as I’m concerned.

Girl Anachronism If this show were a sentence then Girl A would be the exclamation point at the end. Holy crap.

— —

“Okay we’re gonna play one last song that we didn’t play last night. This is another old favorite of ours. … Thank you for being an incredible fucking audience tonight. No shade if you were here last night, but fucking thank you for bringing it so hard tonight.”

Sing (featuring Veronica Swift) Veronica led the crowd in the Greek chorus part at the end, not that they needed much prompting; everyone was in full voice (except that kid in the back with the phone). At the very end of the night Amanda invited Veronica to join them in their final bows, a gesture that seemed to genuinely surprise and humble her. A beautiful end to a fantastic show!

Photo Gallery:

I didn’t take as many pictures tonight as usual because, frankly, I was too absorbed in the performance.

Amanda playing In My Mind at the pre-show Patreon meet-up.

Amanda Palmer …

… and Brian Viglione …

… The Dresden Dolls!

Veronica Swift joins on Delilah

Amanda models their new merch … a dad hat! I guess it worked because they sold out of them.

Amanda entreated everyone to join the mailing list by texting “dolls” to 55444. As an enticement for people to take out their phones the Dolls came to the front of the stage and … well … see for yourself. (video by Deanna Aliano)

End of the night family portrait! Amanda and Nikki are DEFINITELY fantasizing about Andy Pettitte 20 years ago. (photo by Michael McComiskey)

[5eraphim]

how would u rank each merc on a scale of 1 to 10 for how hot they are

ranked from lowest to highest-

(non of this was proofread, so sorry abt that/edit later maybe?)

alright so sprinting into dead last is scout- im sorry ive said this a billion times but CHRIST ALIVE- (-10/10)

like im so pissed too- your ma is a SMOKESHOW, you're dad is (dare i say) also a 10, how did it happen like this? he's like a precum baby i think. like he's not all the way human. he wasn't meant to be like this, but yet here he stands, a pancaked-ass Masshole in the place a greater man might have stood. i want to break his spine over my knee.

sniper after scout. (4/10)

his voice is sooooo great, and i have warmed up a bit to him, but all the same. he's just not my type physicality wise, but i think i get the appeal. i also thought it was really sweet they let him have that soft moment with his parents in heaven where his dad tells him how proud he was and all that. (assuming it wasn't all a hallucination, but i digress,) i would've expected them to show his dad giving him a hard time one last time before he came back to earth, but i'm happy the comics let him have this :)

pyro next, (5/10)

the cop out answer is "well obviously the fire-brandishing character is the hottest-" but that's lame to me. it's honestly REALLY hard for me to see them as attractive or "dateable" just bc I project "my child" onto them. I've mentioned before, but i don't like them bc i wanna fuck them, i wanna protect them like a mother. i wanna feed them a homecooked stew with a wooden spoon, i wanna make crayon drawings with them, tell them bedtime stories, hand-stich him a stuffed animal, yk that sort of vibe. i do care for them a lot, but not in a romantic sense tbh.

Demo and Soldier (7/10)

I'm putting them together bc they are only really attractive to me when they're drawn with bulk-muscle. the idea of either of them packing on lean muscle is so weird to me. but they just feel like such living embodiments of "just here for a good time," and honestly? sometimes that's all you need :) If i HAD to put one above the other, I would put Demo over Solder, bc i ADORE fanart and official art that give him that cute little drunken lazy smile. it's just such a little thing that is so endearing to me!

Spy (10/10)

i'm sorry, i genuinely have no idea why i'm such an apologist for him, i deserve to have my rights taken away for this.

but i think i genuinely envy him in a lot of ways. he's not exactly the kind of attractive i want, but what i want to become. i envy his poise, his swagger, his cunning, (his ability to pull scout's ma). he's such a great jerk-with-a-heart-of-gold type of older guy, of which i am weak to, alas. i NEED to go on a shoplifting spree with this bitch-

Heavy (10/10)

the hottest thing to fantasize abt heavy to me is him calling me a weak little baby and mocking me for being a 5'3 underweight, anemic little loser. this man could DESTROY ME, and damn is that fun to think about, but! I'd be remiss not to mention how much he loves his family, how he would do ANYTHING to protect those he loves the most, and i swear, that one panel in the comics of him hugging his mother gets me every time.

medic (15/10)

what is there even to say that hasn't been said?

He's a chaotic-hottie if ever there's been one, with a kind of zest for life which is remarkable, even in a cast of colorful manic weirdoes. but like, CHRIST this man makes me go feral. like i want him to wrap his gloves around my neck tight enough for the latex to start squeeking, i wanna feel those high-traction combat boots DIGGING into my back as he crushes me into the floor, i want him to drain me of blood and make fun of me for passing out- i would let this man do so many unspeakable things to me...

engie (20/10)

i will never get tired of this guy <3 he's the living embodiment of "southern comfort," and much like medic, it's not at all surprising people love him so much. no one else has his character's incredible dichotomy of, sweet and gentle, while also able to deal out insane levels of violence (heavy comes close, but he doesn't quiet have engie's soft approachable disposition). definitely got the short end of the stick in the comics imo, as we don't get to see much of his family (or rather him interacting WITH his family) but in game at least he gives them lot's of shout-outs which is nice, but honestly makes me want to see them all the more! he's such a whore for all those cozy knit-wear cosmetics too. he's perfect in every way, he makes my heart flutter, he has never done anything wrong in his life ever, i would die to protect him.

[tacky-jack-with-a-hat]

I have a few hc’s that make little to no sense (except for one of them):

-Gov has a reptile hyperfixation (just decided this yesterday) and owns a few snakes and likes to put hats on them and edit little stick arms onto their pictures

-Texas doesn’t actually hate the LGBTQ+ community. He just says stuff like that because his government seems to suck and punishes him when he defends us gays and theys. He’s a closeted transgender bisexual, except the closet is made of clear plastic film.

-Gov can mimic the accent of any country and/or region he wants to. It’s both fascinating and weird.

-Louisiana taught NY how to do the two-step, Cajun Jitterbug and the waltz, and NY taught him how to do a bunch of Dutch folk dances. So now they just randomly have times where they dance for hours on end in each others rooms.

-NJ has and will continue to fvck off into the woods without telling anyone. The first time he did it, NY panicked. A lot. The poor baby thought he lost one of his big brothers 😭

-NY has and does climb Alaska like a tree to get away from angry siblings and Alaska is just fine with it at this point and even throws in some "C’mon Masshole/Jersey/Connecticut, stop bullying your baby brother." and they’re just like "👁️👄👁️💢”

Not replying to all of them bc most of these are just true and I have nothing to add.

1st one makes me think when Florida brings gators to the statehouse Gov will only pretend to be mad before knitting them sweaters bc it's too for them cold. Also he has fancy tea parties with his reptile friends in top hats bc it's the closest he'll get to a good table meeting.

I now want to see him hold a bearded dragon, with tears in his eyes while other states are watching him speak to the lizard "Your name henceforth is Alexander. You are my son- my child. I will conquer land for you, I will burn empires for you, I will sacrifice my states for your happiness alone. So please- for the love of god please stop eating your hat it took me hours!"

2nd Texas: I hate gays

Every other state: we know, your boyfriend said.

5th What you just described with NY and NJ is just my friend when she first got a cat and didn't know they just disappear sometimes to do their own thing. Honestly if any two states are cats it's those two. New Jersey probably also brought back a dead animal but for different reasons.

[imaginespazzi]

Happy for you and UCLA fic anon! I have no feelings at all re the Celtics themselves, but lived in New England for a bit years ago - love Massholes and the city of Boston so :)

-☕️

Ah bestie thank youuuuu. It feels like everybody's been against me these days but at least I have you and UCLA anon on my side and really what more could a girl need?

[quordleona03]

Fade out Fade in

I'm working on an intense scene between Hawkeye and Charles in my very-long-sequel-to-Sins&Virtues, and watching their first meeting in S06E01: CEW *drops his gloves on to the box of penicillin that Radar is holding* Radar: Gee, what swell gloves.

Charles (tersely, dismissively): "Calf."

Radar: "Oh." Hawkeye's first line to CEW is: "Where you from, Charlie?" Now if, as I have seen @thebreakfastgenie propose (and it is reasonably supported by canon) Hawkeye did one of his surgical residencies in Boston, he'd hear Charles' accent and he'd know where Charles Emerson Winchester is from. Also, Hawkeye doesn't like the way CEW spoke to Radar. Also, he can make a good guess that an uppercrust "Charles" doesn't go by "Charlie". But, asking CEW "where you from" is a superficially polite question that doesn't get him in trouble with Potter.

CEW (tersely, dismissively): "Charles."

Hawkeye says, quite quietly "Oh," and looks down. His reaction is superficially as demure as Radar's was a moment ago, but both Potter and BJ know Hawkeye well enough to know it is not a good sign. Potter's comment: "We're pretty informal up here. We get very close." is clearly meant to smooth over the intereaction - excuse Hawkeye to Charles for saying "Charlie", just as - a moment later - he reminds Hawkeye why they need CEW. Charles isn't looking at Hawkeye except to dismiss him. The only person in the room Charles pays any prolonged attention to is Potter, and Potter only because he's the ranking officer.

CEW: "I don't intend to be here long enough to get chummy." Hawkeye: "Well, I'll drink to that."

BJ: "I'll join you." Potter (now talking to CEW, but his words are quite evidently meant for Hawkeye and BJ) "Impressive, Doctor. Harvard Med. Massachusetts General. What were you doing in Tokyo?"

CEW: "Demonstrating new surgical techniques." Hawkeye: "Up here, it's strictly meatball surgery." Hawkeye says this sort of thing in that sort of tone of voice to surgeons who are superfically senior to him. (He says it to BJ, but in a much nicer tone of voice - BJ is very definitely not senior to Hawkeye, and Hawkeye isn't trying to pull rank on him.) Hawkeye is looking forward to educating Charles Emerson Winchester on meatball surgery as a dolphin looks forward to eating shark liver. BJ, who can tell Hawkeye is grinning like a dolphin who has sighted a shark "Patch 'em up and get 'em out." CEW [Snorts] "That's rather primitive, isn't it?" Charles has just annoyed the only person in the room who isn't either looking forward to eating his liver or looking forward to watching Hawkeye eat his liver:

Potter; "We've got a 98% survival rate, cowboy."

Hawkeye, very sweetly "Charles."

CEW: (Aware that when your commanding officer, however temporary, indicates he is offended, you had better apologise) "No offense intended, Colonel." BJ, taking on the role that CEW will come to find very familiar, the guard-dog snapping no-one but ME is allowed to talk to ꙳⸌♡⸍꙳Hawkeye꙳⸌♡⸍꙳ in a disparaging way "Offence accepted, Major." There's a lot going on in this scene - which is shortly broken off by Charles being hustled out to deal with the ventricular aneurysm and managing to impress everyone, including Hawkeye, with his work.

But what I was contemplating for insight on the scene I'm writing is that Charles utterly dismisses Hawkeye, and Hawkeye is extremely ready to bite. Mainers call people from Massachusetts Massholes, and there's that: there may also be Hawkeye hanging out with Trapper John and hearing what Boston Irish think of Beacon Hill bluebloods: and there is also that Hawkeye is tired, strung-out, slightly drunk, and happy to find a source of shark liver to sink his teeth into. And Charles is, in that scene, completely oblivious to the fact that the greatest danger to him at this moment is not the North Koreans or the Chinese or his irascible superior officer or the pugnacious blond with the California accent. It's the man he barely speaks to, except to answer and dismiss him. -"Charles." -"That's rather primitive, isn't it?"

[dear-meatball]

Dear Meatball,

Like others posting here, I wish nothing but the best of outcomes for you in this situation. Regardless if said situation is partially due to your own actions...*AHEM* ReadBeforeYouSignANYTHING *coff-coff*

With that out of the way...

You REALLY need to surround yourself with people that aren't afraid to tell you "No! That's a bone-headed choice Meatball!" because they truly want nothing from you besides seeing you happy and successful. From the looks of things, your circle has many people going along with all of your plans without a consideration of your wellbeing, just to keep going on trips/getting access to the VIP lifestyle - utter BULLSHIT. I know that it's easy for me to say in my place of Monday Morning Quarterbacking, buy it's the truth. We can all see the toll being used by people you've trusted has done to you physically. Stress hides from no one, especially the harder you try hiding it.

I'd be happily to offer my friendship services - I've got a few friends of several years and decades that will confirm that I do listen sympathetically, but will readily call out their BS, regardless of how bad they hate me for it. (One stopped speaking with me for a year, and didn't contact me until after she left her ex.) Going on 30 years, 29 years, 20 years, and 7 years later, I'm still friends with all of them. My only condition of friendship, is that you are willing to listen when you can, and call out my bullshit in return. (That would be how an actual loyal friendship works, BTW.)

Now, it's time for you to pull your big boy britches up, channel some of that Masshole Attitude from your soul, and raise some fucking Hell by standing up for yourself and everything you've worked for, because you're the only one that can. I'm not suggesting going full Whitey Bulger on 'em, but I'm not gonna say anything if you do. 😉 Maybe fill yourself with the some of thay stone cold attitude you gave Steve Rogers in the beginning of Infinity War - spear catching optional. 💙

💙

[aceontheline]

Love is in Bloom (Mass x Florida: Pt 3)

C//W: Mildly suggestive content at one point

A few days seemed to take too long to pass, but Florida finally called Mass one morning to say that he was coming home today. Mass immediately put the tank top that he "borrowed" from Florida away, back in the closet where it belonged. Mass was practically waiting for Florida to return all day long, doing stuff to keep him preoccupied. Mass ran into a few of the other Northeastern states, including New York with his new boyfriend... California. Mass looked at the two with intrigue and then he just came up to them.

"You datin' Cali now? When did that happen?" Mass asked, genuinely curious.

"A little while ago. We didn't really go public with tellin' anyone cuz we're still understanding our relationship... Cal's words, not mine" New York replied, arms crossed and him leaning back in his chair.

"Well either way, good for you two. If ya don't want me to tell anyone, I won't" Mass replied.

The two thanked Mass, stating that they'd prefer for him to be silent on the matter. Mass agreed, and then heard the sound of the front door click open. Gov sounded exasperated, like he was finally happy to get some manner of peace and quiet. He charged to his own room without a word, but Florida immediately walked up to Mass and hugged him from behind. Mass turned to face his lover, kissing him gently.

Mass and Florida walked together to Mass's room where they proceeded to cuddle on his bed for a little while and listen to music. He offered to help Florida unpack later and he agreed to that. For now though, the two were pretty much cuddling silently and enjoying each other's company.

After a few hours, and the two waking up from a tired, fugue like state, they went to pick up Florida's suitcase and take it straight to his room. They were talking about the trip the whole time, with Florida recounting times that he inadvertently pissed Gov off, which was why he stormed in like that earlier. Florida basically did so by repeatedly arguing against Gov's points before any sort of dinners or events they had to go to. This easily made Gov's thoughts more scattered than they already were.

"Babe, you gotta ease up on him. Dude hasn't heard a good joke all his life, unless you count him looking in the mirror every day" Mass joked. Florida laughed hysterically.

"Daaamnnn, Masshole. I see where that name comes from!" Florida teased.

"Oh hush, Mo grá" Mass replied, kissing Florida's cheek. "My love" he clarified, after seeing Florida's confused face.

Florida's confusion transformed into pure happiness, that same scrunched up face that Mass fell for. Mass proceeded to kiss Florida repeatedly... Then decided to get a little fresh.

Mass's teeth were fairly sharp and pronounced. He knew Florida's were the same, but he wanted to attempt this at least once. After trailing some kisses down Florida's neck, Mass gently nibbled on Florida's neck. Florida's face turned bright red as he almost purred in response. Perfect... This is the response Mass was hoping for. He, then, bit down a bit on Florida's neck, making him moan.

Mass kept biting and nibbling all along Florida's neck and collarbone, leaving not very visible marks. Mass got a fair share of bites in response from Florida, but he thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. They both realized that they didn't want to take this any further just yet, so after gazing into each other's eyes for a moment, they pulled away. Florida thanked Mass again for helping him with unpacking and then strolled away to his own room to spend some time alone. Mass spent time playing videogames in his own room.

Florida rushed to his room, his heart still racing. He wasn't sure if this was a good or bad rush he was feeling, but he felt his face getting more flushed by the moment. All he could think of was Mass laying him down and biting all over him. Or perhaps, them wrestling to assert dominance...

Florida blushed and collapsed onto his bed, groaning in slight frustration and confusion. Louisiana happened to be walking past when he heard these frustrated sounds. He sat down on Florida's bed and listened to him vent when he asked what was wrong.

"Ooohhh, Mass got a lil' frisky, didn't he? Didn't know the boy had it in 'im" Louie responded playfully.

"I know! He just... I don't know how I feel about it though. It was incredibly hot and I loved it but like... Were we rushing things or-"

"Mais, if you liked it, why you so worried 'bout it den?" Louie asked.

"... You know, you're right. I did enjoy it. That's all that matters" Florida replied, sitting up to meet Louie's questioning gaze.

The two hung out for a little while, chatting and making food in the kitchen before calling it a day. After all that, Florida went back to his room and noticed something. One of the tank tops wasn't hung. Rather, it was just placed in the closet. He picked it up and inspected it... Noticing that it had a bit of Mass's lingering scent on it. Apple, with a hint of coffee. It was strong, but rather nice. He put that specific tank top on and loose sweatpants, climbing into bed.

Florida texted Mass a sweet "Goodnight, Mo grá". Mass swooned over that, mainly because Florida remembered that little detail. "Goodnight, Orange Blossom" he replied. Florida went to sleep almost right away, surprisingly. Mass always took a little while to sleep, so he was just scrolling on his social medias before going to sleep.

However, there was something glaringly obvious. He got a message from some random woman on Facebook. She seemed cordial in her first message, but then took a turn for the worse as the messages kept coming. Finally, Mass responded.

"Lady, who are you?" he asked her.

"I'm Florida's 'ex', Caitlin. Stay away from him. I know he didn't mean it when we 'broke up'. He's always been a bit of a prankster" she replied.

"Look, it's nice you live in your own little fantasy land. But this is the real world. I'm sure for one reason or another, he dumped you. Whenever he's ready to talk about it with me, I will ask. But for right now... I'm going to keep my relationship with him, because it's none of your business" Mass replied, swiftly blocking Caitlin right after.

Mass went to Florida's room directly and knocked on the door, his phone in hand with evidence of the messages. Florida looked at the name and his face went a pale white.

Shit. She was back...

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Masterpost ( Here )

[mariacallous]

Happy bday Ms. Callous, wishing you good books and food and opera seats and Nice Jewish Boys or Massholes

thank you!

I've definitely had the first two, debating the third, and always looking for the last two!

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

Idk if you do ships you don’t ship but got any Masshole/Connie hcs?

I don’t really ship them, I see them more as brothers, but I can come up with a few ship hc’s for them :D (so they aren’t siblings in this post! Cuz otherwise it would be hella weird :D)

Mass likes to call Connie "Captain Connie" and Connie loveshates it with every fiber of his being <3

Mass at this point is just a teasy lil bastard and he will wear like- a pirate-y outfit with a white button up, and he’ll keep it half-way unbuttoned knowing that Connie will not be able to focus on anything but his massivehugetits /hj

But Connie can be a teasy lil bitch too- he knows that Mass can’t handle compliments or affection, so he’ll sit next to Mass with that knowledge during meetings and just whisper compliments and crappy pick up lines with an arm around Mass :) Safe to say, Massachusetts is basically dead by the end of the meeting

I DEFY you to tell me that they haven’t done matching POTC Halloween costumes. They did. And you can’t change my mind. Yes Connie was Captain Jack Sparrow.

Cat Person + Dog person = them having both because they want each other to be happy and hate making each other upset (neither of the would get upset over it, but they both think that the other will)

[a900iqmonkey]

thank you for the questions @entropyre :)

Are you named after anyone? not to my knowledge.

When was the last time you cried? listening to No Hard Feelings by the Avett Brothers, drunk, thinking about how much i love my brother.

Do you have kids? i do not, and i’m grateful for it every day.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? a truly unhealthy amount, i grew up reading calvin and hobbes and the far side.

What's the first thing you notice about people? their face and their voice.

What's your eye colour? hazel :) they are my nicest feature imo.

Scary movie or happy ending? i feel like the best answer is both, but gun to my head id say happy ending. ultimately i consume movies to forget about how scary real life is lol.

Any special talents? i can do that thing where you vibrate that membrane in your ear. i can also huck a frisbee farther than most people.

Where were you born? boston babyyyy!! call me a masshole all you want 😤

What are your hobbies? DMing for my friends, playing destiny 2 or mtg arena, reading mystery novels.

Have you got pets? no :( i want a cat so fucking bad!

What sports do you/have you played? i played basketball for a few years, and a bunch of soccer as a kid, but the big one is ultimate frisbee.

How tall are you? 6’1”

Favourite subject in school? history, english, music.

Dream job? my realistic dream job is to be an individual therapist, but my actual dream job(s) would be to score movies/TV shows or make video essays on YT.

[nepotisim]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

HI! I was tagged by the lovely @missatan @tau1tvec & @based-god

Are you named after anyone? Kinda? My name is Taryn. It is a Gaelic name. My mother had a coworker from Ireland who had a sister named Taryn and she liked it so much, she decided it was going to be my name regardless of my gender.

When was the last time you cried? I don't....remember. I feel like it was recent?

Do you have any kids? I do not.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Daily. DAILY! It's bad.

What sports do you play/have you played? I tried playing soccer and I did cheer for like...a couple months. Yeah, that didn't really work out.

What’s the first thing you notice about other people? Skin.

Eye colour? Brown.

Scary movies or happy endings? Scary movies.

Any special talents? I can play piano (def out of practice) and I can whistle.

Where were you born? the US! I'm a Masshole!

What are your hobbies? As a member of the #TeamADHD, right now it's reading. I'm a slow reader, but it's nice.

Do you have any pets? My little black cat named Ms. Mink!

How tall are you? 5'6''!

Fave subject in school? English.

Dream job? Honsetly, I have no friggin' idea. Socialite.

TBH if anyone wants to do this, pleaser do! @vampiremilfs @bri-rawr @bbrrambo @nomieindecisi

[187days]

Day Seventy-Six

Who had quiet and engaged ninth grade classes three days before vacation? 

They’re in the middle of the current affairs assignment I wrote about in yesterday’s post, so they’re working independently, going at their own pace, piecing together information from different sources in order to understand something that’s happening in the world right now. I won’t say everyone was on task 100% of the time, but, for the most part, they were really good. And a bunch of them told me they liked the assignment, or they’d learned something interesting. They asked great questions, too, if they needed clarification. 

So I’m pretty proud of myself and them right now. 

My GOV class was great, too, of course, and definitely amused by my spirit week outfit (today was “ski joey” day, so we all dressed like stereotypical “masshole” tourists who act like fools on our mountains; in my case, that meant jeans, tall socks, a zebra print hoodie, goggles around my neck, sparkly blue eyeshadow). After we had a laugh about that, I lectured on the role of political parties, then had them read the preamble of each party’s platform and discuss the differences with me. Lastly, I gave them a quick review assignment about campaigns and elections because I wanted to get that information back to the front of their brains.

One of the GOV students also came in during flex block to ask how to study more efficiently He told me he’s best able to retain information if he writes it down, but that he was studying by reading, so I asked him to pick a topic and jot down some notes about it instead. He chose court cases, so I had him write down the basic facts and rulings for each, and then review by actually tracing over his writing as he was reading. No one had ever suggested that to him before, and he was skeptical about it, at first, because he tried to review six cases at a time. I had him do three instead, and then the details stuck; then I had him do the next three, and they stuck. And he was so happy about it. 

I’m happy, too, because it’s a huge moment of triumph any time a student who’s struggled with something finds a way to be successful.

So, basically, I’m saying it was a really good day for learning.

The day ended with track practice: last one of 2022! The Head Coach and I put all our athletes through a stair workout, and I also helped the 55m dashers work on their block starts. Then we wrapped up with core work, stretching, and Christmas cookies courtesy of The Head Coach’s wife. Can’t ask for a better end to the day than that!