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skylarmoon71 · 4 months

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Eobard Thawne - (Flash) AU Chapter 17 -Final

Although you suggested dinner, it doesn’t stop your nerves.

Given that you’re both speedsters, you agreed to get to the restaurant on time. Between battling a metahuman and finishing up on your actual job, you were somewhat running around like a headless chicken.

That’s why when you rush into the restaurant, you do your best to ensure you are presentable. You fidget with your ring. In the event that there is an attack, it’s good to have your suit on demand. You’re being guided to your seat and the moment Eobard’s eyes catch you, he stands, clearly taken with your appearance.

“I’ll be back shortly.”

You nod at the server, and Eobard pulls your chair out.

“Thank you.”

He nods, taking his seat.

“You look beautiful.”

You flush.

“Thank you. You look very handsome as well.” You catch sight of his ring and you grin.

“I guess we both had the same idea.”

His eyes follow your gaze and he laughs.

“It’s unrealistic to expect Central City not to have some crazy attack. No matter where we are.”

That is sadly true.

“I’m glad that we finally had a chance to do this.” You express.

He’s grateful for the same.

You were so nervous, but now that you’re sitting here, it feels easier.

“With all that happened, did you ever think we’d be sitting here like this?”

You question.

Eobard shakes his head.

“To be honest, I didn’t think we would ever get close.”

It feels so long ago when you first showed up. You understand what he means.

Eobard laughs softly, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up. I know it might still be a sore topic. Given what the other me put you through. I can’t imagine this discussion ever becoming normal.”

He lifts his glass of water, taking a sip and you can’t help but smile. Eobard has always been considerate and careful with you. You’ve picked up on all the little things and it reminds you an awful lot of Barry and Iris. Their love has always been legendary, and you’d be lying if you said that you didn’t want the same. Someone to cherish forever.

“You don’t have to walk on eggshells with me, Eobard.”

He finally places the glass down, and you reach over, placing your hand in his. For a second he just stares at it, then he squeezes.

“The past was tough, I can’t pretend that it didn’t happen and I can’t expect you to tiptoe around it every time it comes up. It was hard for both of us. The Eobard of the past, he was cruel, selfish. When I first got here I was scared, terrified. I kept looking at you and seeing him. It was difficult. But everything you did, everything you said showed me that you weren’t that man. I don’t know what I was like in this timeline, but I know it could not have been easy watching me everyday knowing how I felt. You had no obligation to help me, especially after how I treated you. Since I’ve gotten here, I’ve been grateful for a lot of things. But the thing that I’m most grateful for..it’s you.”

His expression is nothing but pure elation and you giggle.

“You’re also so easy to read and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

His cheeks flush and he clears his throat, looking away bashfully.

The waiter returns, and he tries to act natural. You give his hand another little squeeze and the color on his cheeks brighten.

One beautifully normal dinner after and you’re back at Eobard’s loft.

You’ve both agreed that a movie marathon of criminal minds was the only way to end the evening.

You’d take a shower and swiped a pair of Eobard’s shorts and a baggy t-shirt. He couldn’t stop laughing when he saw you walk out with the attire. He’d pretty much set up everything for the marathon, and now he was about to take a shower himself.

“Well, you sure know how to rock those shorts.” He teases.

“I'll be back in a few minutes. There’s drinks in the fridge and you can put another popcorn into the microwave. Don’t you dare start any episode without me.”

“I won’t, scout’s honor.”

He nods with a smile, heading up the stairs. You get busy finishing the preparations. When his cell phone goes off, you pick it up.

It’s Barry.

You click.

“Hey Barry what’s up?”

“(Y/N)?? Sorry to bug you, is Eobard free for a second?”

You tilt your head.

“I don’t hear the shower, so he must be grabbing clothes. Give me a second.” You zip upstairs, knocking on the door. You turn the knob, stepping inside. The door closes behind you.

“Hey Eobard Barry wanted to talk with you..”

Your words trail off, because he’s just taken off his shirt and you have a great view of his naked torso. Eobard looks a bit startled, and he lowers his hand.

“S-Sorry I didn’t know you were changing I..” You turn your back to him, embarrassed.

“I get what’s going on. I’ll call you lovebirds in the morning~”

“Wait Barry it’s not what you-”

He’s already hung up, and you sigh, running your hand through your hair.

“He’s going to spread rumors.” You grumble.

Eobard lets out a nervous laugh.

“We should expect this by now. This is Barry after all. “

He’s completely right. You grip the phone in your hand.

You should turn tail and get out of there. That’s the only reasonable choice here. But the image of his body is now engraved in your mind. You reach for the dresser that’s closest to the door, placing his phone down as you turn slowly.

Eobard looks unsure of what action to take. When he sees your eyes fixed on him, he swallows.

“I-I should jump into the shower..”

You move closer cautiously. Eobard is now trying to look at anything but directly at you.

“Y-You know so we can get back to the movie. I did promise you a nice back rub too. You’re probably looking forward to that.”

Another awkward laugh. It makes you smile.

“Ever since I got here you’ve taken care of me. You’ve always taken care of me, Eobard.”

“That’s what friends do.”

He internally winces at his response.

“Friends, really. That’s your big comeback.”

When you’re right next to him, you want to reach out.

“Are we just friends?”

He finally looks at you, and you can see it. The love that he so eagerly wears on his sleeve everyday.

“To me you’re not just a friend. I think now, it’s time for me to take care of you.”

You cup his cheek, and he shivers at the heat that rushes where your palm follows. You press a kiss to his awaiting lips and his eyebrows knit. He’s anticipated this for so long. It’s almost surreal. He only realizes that you’ve backed him up when his legs give way and he’s now sitting on the bed. He takes another breath.

“I think I had a dream like this when I slept over back in college. “

You grin at the confession.

“D-Did I just say that out loud. Uhh..I..”

His mind is reeling. You climb into his lap, and his hands nervously gravitate to your hips.

“(Y/N)..”

“It’s okay.” You assure.

He’s been frazzled since you walked through that door. Your fingers glide down his chest, and Eobard’s eyes close. You can feel his heart racing, more than usual. It’s amazing how honest his body responds to you. The unsteady rise of his chest. Those welcoming lips. Beautiful eyes that always convey exactly what he’s feeling. Your hands move back to his cheeks, and his eyes open. It’s hard to explain all that you see in those eyes. When you lean forward, you leave a little kiss on his cheek.

He wonders how he could have something right beneath his palm and still not truly believe in it. His hand skims over your skin, and you pull back, watching him with so much love.

Eobard kisses you with a sense of urgency. You’re a bit taken aback. He’s been very good at staying in control, but right now is different. You aren’t running from an imminent threat, or facing some crucial decision. At this moment, it’s just the both of you.

He parts with a huff, resting his forehead on your shoulder.

“Please..please tell me you want this because I..I don’t want to stop..”

His tone is so desperate, and you nod, biting your lip.

“I want this.”

The validation that he’s waited for all his life. You melt into him as you lay back, pulling you down with him.

Happy endings were possible after all.

#reverseflash #eoabrdthawne #flash #happyendings #eobardxreader #speedsters #care #family #humor #barryallen #love #trust #au #teamflash

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deepseavibez · 1 year

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Nerve_30 [N] || KNJ

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Nerve [Namjoon x Reader]

Prompt - @casnextdoor

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Part 29.5 - Retriggered

Part 30 - Finale [N]

Part 30 - Finale [E]

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Genre - cheating; aftermath; husband au;

Summary - You would never expect it really. He’s doting. He’s sweet. He’s hardworking. But he’s forgotten his morals. Suspecting it is one thing, but when he confirms it, will you stay or walk away.

Warning - Cheating(Aftermath); Angst; Fluff (if you squint);

Word Count - 7.7k

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A/N - Aaaah!! Finally the finale!! I am honestly so mad that this took so long to finalize, but officially, the five-parter Finale will start being posted from this week. Fair warning, I have had so many drafts for these updates and I had to settle on an ending for y/n that I felt would suit Nerve as a whole. And like I have stated many many times, the Nerve Universe is one of pain, of reality. So this is my first warning for future updates, updates [R] and [V] in particular... they are both very very triggering.

As for update [N]... [N] is my baby. This update is as happyending-y as it is going to get. So I hope it's adored as much as I loved writing it.

Once again thank you for being a part of the Nerve journey for Y/n and Namjoon's story.

xx Dee

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‘Why are we doing this again?’ Kenta shifted his shoulders as Yuna took individual pictures with Jia and her team. ‘I mean it’s outdated to have every individual follow a line to have their picture taken with the bride and groom.’

You sighed. ‘Well… only relevant people are present. And Yuna wanted it this way.’

Kenta’s lip curled. If you didn’t know any better, you would think he was annoyed. But as always his approach with Yuna was to contemplate, then give in anyway.

‘Ken, time for a couples pic with the team.’ Yoongi motioned without looking away from the camera.

You watched as he took his place next to Yuna and her team, sporting a somewhat awkward smile. You internally laughed at his predicament – all the poor man wanted to do was get out of that suit.

‘I’m gonna head out.’

‘Jeez, Ria.’ You clutched your heart involuntarily, at the sound of her voice so close to your ear. ‘Don’t sneak up on me like that.’

You recovered easily when she didn’t even acknowledge your whining. ‘You have everything required for the set up? Roses? Candles?’

‘Yep,’ she popped the ‘p’ as she pulled up a list used to help set up Yuna and Kenta’s room. ‘Jia is driving me and Ji-hyun will help out.’ She looked up at you and offered a tired smile. She’d been a big part of the wedding hype.

You were about to express your gratitude when she straightened her spine, and her eyes giving off a warning glint. ‘Incoming,’ she whispered.

You didn’t need to look behind you to know who she was referring to. The prickling awareness at your nape, the swirling in your head, the tightness in your chest – you puffed out a shaky breath as Kwang brushed past you, and you tried to refocus on Ria.

‘Thanks, Ri.’ You reached out for her, a selfish part of you needing the little comfort it would offer. ‘For helping with the wedding prep and the phone calls and the invites and still preparing for next year's start.’

She squeezed your hand before returning to the list on her phone screen. ‘This is Yuna we’re talking about, of course I was happy to help.’ You watched in silence as she meticulously struck off each item. Ria was conscientious, detail-oriented, and sometimes so closed off that her walls pissed you off, but it was soothing sometimes, to just watch her do her job. It reminded you a bit of Jin – sturdy and secure. She turned to look out at the waning reception when she was done. ‘We did pretty good, if I do say so myself.’

You hummed at the observation as some guests bid the newlyweds farewell after their pictures, and some were on the dance-floor.

Your eyes swept the room, mentally counting all your family members and taking note of where they were when something caught your attention.

Jinx and her mother Hee-Joo were at the bar, instinctively your eyes sought out Sylo and you watched in awe as Hee-Joo raised her glass, in what could only be labeled as a random gesture, if Sylo hadn’t tipped his toward his secret wife, not even glancing in her direction as he did so – from all the way on the other side of the hall.

As far as anyone was concerned, Hee-Joo was Jinx’s mother, not Sylo’s wife. And for good reason since Sylo worked in a cutthroat business.

But it did your heart good to see that they could make their lives work, albeit unconventional and hidden from prying eyes.

‘Let me stand on this side.’

You heard rustling behind you and you unconsciously inched closer to Ria, not wanting to brush against Kwang even by accident when he moved around Yuna.

‘Are you gonna be okay?’ Ria leaned forward to whisper against your cheek.

Something in you softened at the concern in her usually stoic gaze.

You thought of lying to her, it wasn't personal and it would have been no effort of yours to put her mind at ease, but you were both past that point of friendship.

Ria was there that day. She was the first person that saw you when you stormed out of your father’s office. Ria took one look at your distraught expression and hid you away from busybodies and known office gossips. It was Ria who listened to your incoherent string of words, combined with snot and saliva as you sobbed and felt sorry for yourself. She sat with you in the storage closet on the topmost floor and watched you cry it all out.

It was Ria who helped you stay on top of your job, eat when you couldn’t be bothered to, reminded you that you were not alone when you couldn't confide in Yuna. She became your friend even when you didn’t have the capacity to return her friendship and she was your biggest ally next to your mom in outing the partners.

Ria could be civil, with both your father and Kwang, and she may seem so impassive and indifferent to anyone outside her close circle, but she had the biggest heart – you had experienced it firsthand.

‘I wish he wasn’t here.’ The strangled confession did more harm than intended as a layer of your strength disintegrated in front of her. ‘I wish I didn’t have to feel so … dirty.’

‘Hey,’ Ria reprimanded you by pinching your arm.

‘Ow!’ You rubbed at the spot absently and shot her a warning glare.

‘You were not at fault. You did nothing wrong, y/n.’ She dropped her voice, and the frost in it rivaled the winter snow outside. ‘You are the victim here. The one who had no support, no justice and no vindication. He knew what he was doing from the get-go. Don’t you dare carry the blame for something like that. The burden is his… not yours.’

You blinked at Ria’s impassioned rambling. Mild as it was, she was never one to discuss such things in public, let alone say all of that in one go. You were almost overcome with emotion at the protective gesture, but you had to hold it together. It was a different issue altogether, that you wanted to imagine Yoongi’s body stiffening visibly at Ria's words.

The second-oldest had always been more perceptive than most, and he’d been hovering as much as the rest of the hyung line, even if he wasn’t sure what for. Well, what’s one more person? Add the soulmates and your maknae and let’s make it a party.

You internally cringed at the thought of Jungkook knowing. Taehyung knowing didn’t sit well with you either–he was too close to Yuna. It would be something to be angry about or better yet something he will have no choice but to keep from her. And Jimin... Park Jimin was emotionally safe. He radiated strength and respect and light, so much love and light… it wouldn’t be fair for him to know, it wouldn’t be fair for him to carry such a burden. As for the hyung line, you had to admit, they were a personal form of stability you relied on for support. You couldn’t help that Kenta and Ria were in the know. But Yuna? Yuna could never know…

‘He’s despicable.’ Ria shot him a hard look as she continued. ‘But you got this, y/n. The night’s almost over anyway.’ She frowned slightly. ‘You’d think he’d have enough shame to remain hidden away in whatever crevice he’s been in, all this time.’

It would have certainly made the night easy for you.

‘Fuck him,’ you dismissed him, doing your best to keep your voice down.

‘Yeahhh, no thank you.’ Ria snorted loud enough to have a few heads turning, but she ignored them. ‘Seriously though,’ she patted your hand, ‘just a few more hours.’

You hummed noncommittally. ‘Send me a pic when you’re done with the set up.’ You bit back your smile as you reminded her of her last task.

She met your eyes, gave you a blank stare and whispered the word. ‘Fuck.’ Her resigned expression afterward was too much for you to hold back your laugh.

‘Go on,’ you pushed her in the direction of the entrance. ‘Jia and JiJi should still be in the car waiting to use expletives on you.’

You blew out a puff of air as you took out your phone to absently scroll or act like you had something important to do. The tightness was back as soon as you lost sight of Ria.

It wasn’t about being alone, or standing aimlessly next to Yoongi, who you hadn’t confided in yet, that added onto the feeling of dread. In fact the only reason you weren’t a complete mess, was because you had had someone around you to keep it together – Yoongi helped in that department without actually using words.

But the pain in your back and the heaviness and your shoulders and the cloying in your throat was because of too much at one time.

You could usually keep appearances – you excelled at it. But the past few weeks were so draining. The tug-of-war with Namjoon took… well… almost everything from you. Your eyes sought out your husband, who looked to be in a serious conversation with your mother. She had her arms crossed and he bent his head in acquiescence, obviously accepting her reprove without protest.

Ra-Mi was not close to you or Namjoon. But she was polite. She was your mother and she acted as such these days. Your mother understood something your father hadn’t – it was too late to make amends for what was. In your mind, she may not be perfect, but she made it known she would be there for you, even now, in any way you preferred.

Now, according to Kenta, who you trusted more than your own self, your husband’s alleged affair seemed to lead a path to something deeper, darker, involving someone like Maiya who you had never known and whoever was the mastermind behind it all.

Let’s not forget that your safety blanket, your bodyguard, your head of security was leaving you for God knows how long. Yuna, who was some sort of extension of your whole existence, would not be easily accessible. Yes, marriage, though a legally binding process, was workable, as you had explained to Kenta, but it still changes things.

But when you fall in love with someone you deem as ‘the one,’ you are giving a part of yourself to them, choosing them through all the good and the bad, and to put them first. And like it or not, that trumps all of the smaller parts you’d previously shared with others. You and Yuna would always be important to each other. But now, Yuna had Kenta. From this point forth, her relationship with him would take precedence over yours. It was bittersweet, but you had the solace of knowing she would never ever be alone.

You already had Namjoon. But back when you got married, Yuna and Kenta weren’t even a couple yet. If all of what you were feeling was a fraction of how she felt when you promised yourself to Namjoon, you couldn’t imagine how she’d handled coming second to him. The thought of her letting go of that part of you that she held so dear for a long time–and now you had to do the same. A selfish part of you wouldn’t want to share at all. Fuck men, who needs ‘em.

You snorted at your childish thoughts.

‘You good, y/n?’ Yoongi glanced at you wide-eyed and concerned.

His expression sent you into a fit of giggles and for a minute you considered you might actually be going insane from all the shit you had to deal with.

When you finally quieted down and breathed deeply to salvage a bit of calm, you reassured him that you were fine and just needed to get a drink. Yoongi wouldn’t push you to talk, not ever and he wouldn’t feel any offense at the lack of information either.

You took one step towards the bar, before you had to turn back to the sound of Yuna’s voice.

‘Y/n! Get in here!’ She motioned with her hand for you to join the photo, the happiness spilling out of her.

You would, but you battled to keep the smile on your face as your heart rate picked-up and your legs threatened to stay frozen to the ground as you watched Kwang hold his hand out to pull you to stand next to him.

You didn’t know how to say ‘no’. The protests bubbled up and every fiber of your body screamed in revulsion but you couldn’t speak. You just stood there.

‘Sorry, Yuna.’ A new voice said from behind you, as you felt a tap on the side of your shoulder. ‘Y/n promised me a dance.’

The controversy surrounding Huru was enough for you to decline. It would upset almost every single band member, not to mention your husband. But at this moment, right now, he was saving you by being the lesser of two evils.

You shrugged and made a ‘what are ya gonna do’ face before taking Huru’s hand. Mentally batting away the disapproval in Yoongi’s menacing gaze, you called over your shoulder as you escaped. ‘We’ll do our pictures last.’

You noted that Huru’s hand was cold. Not nervous or clammy, not showing a hint of nervousness. If he really had a crush on you, he would have the opposite reaction right?

‘Lighten up, y/n,’ Huru whispered in your ear, as he led you through a makeshift version of the waltz. ‘It’s just one dance.’

‘I haven’t said anything yet.’ You rebuffed his comment, not wanting to admit that you were just using him to get away.

He did his version of a smile, something so small, barely a hint on his lips, that it wouldn’t be caught unless you really paid attention.

‘Your body language tells me all I need to know.’ He led your body into a twirl, and loosened his hold on your arms after stabilizing you. ‘I just wanted to give you a quick save. You can leave when you want to.’

You looked up at him, his blank expression betraying nothing. Because you were nice, because you didn’t want to hurt him and because you didn’t want to seem unreasonable, you slid your hands around his neck. As a result he tucked you closer.

‘I take it,’ he started after a few seconds of silence,’ that you’re not very happy with me.’

Oh so he was going there. ‘That depends… are you going to confirm the rumors I’ve been hearing?’

‘That would depend on what you’ve heard… and from whom.’

His acerbic tone didn’t sit well with you. ‘Okay, cut it out.’ You said in the most polite tone you could muster. ‘Talking in riddles, reading between the lines, putting up a front…‘ you shook your head, ‘we don’t do that. So tell me what’s going on. Do you actually have a crush on me?’

It was hard to keep eye contact when you felt this much discomfort. And not in the sense that he could do something bad to you, more so the fact that if you said the wrong words or did the wrong thing, you didn’t want to be in a position where you would have led him on. Unintentionally or not.

‘Full disclosure?’ He looked down at you, his pace slow and his eyes hard, as if warning you that there was no going back after you made your choice.

You waited, as you both stared each other down in a way that would have your husband fuming, if he wasn’t already.

Huru sighed, finally giving in first. ‘Who wouldn’t be attracted to you, y/n?’

You swallowed against the distaste of his admission. ‘That’s not flattering.’

Huru’s eye twitched at your choice of words. ‘How is it not?’

‘It’s perturbing.’ You glared at him, willing yourself not to step out of his arms. Once you did, the matter would drag, escalate and just make it fucking awkward when he had to be with you almost all hours of the day until Yoshi was back.

‘What’s the big deal, y/n?’ He openly scowls. ‘You’re smart, beautiful. You have an infectious energy that introduces itself before you do. And to the people that truly know you, the y/n without her so called mask of ice…’ his brows pinched together as if he battled with the new development himself, ‘you’re quite… captivating.’

Beautiful and smart were common words. You could call a flower beautiful. You could call a monkey smart. It was words like ‘infectious energy’, and ‘captivating’ that caught your attention and penetrated your defenses. But you wouldn’t budge for measly words either. If he said it as a friend, as an acquaintance or even as an honest compliment with good intentions, it would have made all the difference. Because now, they felt wrong, such grand words made you want to cover your ears. ‘You’re making me uncomfortable.’ You admitted through clenched teeth.

‘You wanted me to be honest.’ He stares at you with a pinched expression. It was the first very real, very annoyed reaction that irked you. For once you wouldn’t mind if he kept his robot face on.

‘Yes, I know. Thank you.’ You rush out. ‘For your honesty.’ You dropped your gaze. ‘But now, the only way forward is to create a bit of distance so you can… work on those…’ you felt your brows furrow, the anxiety in the pit of your stomach bordering on overdrive, ‘feelings.’

His fingers clenched slightly on your arms. The hold wasn’t a painful one, so you let it slide. ‘What are you trying to say?’

You raised your head again to make eye contact. ‘Maybe it’s not such a good idea for you to take over Kenta’s position.’

‘I can handle myself.’ There was a hard finality in his tone.

‘This isn’t high school, Huru. We don’t need to be friends and we don’t need to know each other.’ Definitely not at the expense of your family, not to mention your husband.

‘I haven’t asked you for anything.’ He looked at you incredulously. ‘I haven’t done anything to warrant your decision. And you do not have to trust me when I say I do not go after married women, but regardless of my line of work, I actually have some morals.’

‘I don’t want to lead you on.’ You gave him a pointed look, because such a thing was inevitable. ‘I don’t want to have to feel too conscious of myself around you, what I say, what I do…’ you huffed in exasperation. ‘You see the way I am around Kenta, Yoshi, even Zwahn, Yeon, Xan… we hug when we greet, and they have to hold onto me in crowds, steer me away, grab me when the situation requires it. Do you see why this will be hard for you?’ Do you understand how uncomfortable it would be for me?

He frowns and his tone is clipped when he finally lets loose on whatever he’d been holding back. ‘So Hoseok can get the benefit of the doubt, but I can’t?’

You had the sudden urge to slap him. Hobi was yours. No one, not even Namjoon, questioned your dynamic with Hobi. He cleared the air, sure, but he was never disrespectful enough to compare. ‘Do not compare yourself to anyone in my family.’ You stepped out of his grasp. ‘We’re done here.’

‘Wait, y/n. I was out of line.’ He held onto your elbow, just as you turned to walk away. ‘I apologize.’ He drops his head and his shoulders sag. ‘The last thing I want to do is upset you. I’m sorry.’ He searched your face. ‘But the issue remains that you need a head of security. Immediately.’

From the corner of your eye you could see both Namjoon and Jin converge. You held up your hand to both of them to imply you had it handled, but they didn’t stop their approach.

‘Mind if I cut in.’ Jungkook appeared out of nowhere and took the hand that Huru had in his grasp.

Jungkook easily got his way when he motioned to his hyungs with his eyes, effectively stopping them in their tracks and giving Huru the heads up.

Huru bowed out meekly to avoid an altercation when he glanced at them and back, but not before a few last words. ‘I will be here, y/n. Until Yoshi gets better. My contract is already in place. As for me, my feelings, though real, are mine to deal with. Don’t base my work ethic on my personal feelings. I certainly won’t let them get in the way.’ He offered a gracious nod to Jungkook and left the dance-floor without another word.

On another day, in another setting, more than a few words from Huru would be refreshing – you’d even take it in stride. But he was embarrassed and you felt bad that he was feeling embarrassed and the whole conversation paved a way to something unwelcome and unnecessary. It was a new set of balls to juggle and you were the clown stuck with the task.

You went easily into Jungkook’s embrace. He tugged lightly at your hand, tucking you closer in an attempt to comfort you.

‘Are they mad?’ You whispered into his shoulder, referring to Namjoon and Jin considering he had a clear view of the two.

‘Absolutely pissed.’ You sighed and you felt his jawline against your forehead. ‘Figured I’d rather save you, before they got here.’

‘Thank you.’

‘Anytime.’

‘So… who’s got your camera?’ You attempted to fill the silence.

‘Tae hyung. Although I have a feeling I might find more pictures of him within the time-frame that he has it.’

You chuckled lightly. That was true. Taehyung knew all too well how handsome he was.

‘Are you okay? That seemed to be a pretty intense discussion.’

‘I am now.’ You closed your eyes and swayed to the slow music, and actually felt how much easier it was to breath when you were held by someone that knew their limitations and had no expectations and just fucking cared just because.

You opened your eyes when a reiteration of the last few minutes reeled through your mind. ‘Kook,’ You pulled back and pinched your eyebrows together. ‘Why did you signal him about your hyungs coming over?’

His lip curled in a half-smile. ‘Executing the plan, Noona.’

‘Exactly, what… plan is that?’

Jungkook bent his head to whisper in your ear. ‘The one where we find out exactly what Huru wants from you.’

You gave him a look of utter confusion. 'What are you talking about?'

'Think about it,' Jungkook matched the music and you followed his lead as he explained. 'He's known Ken for a long time now, and Yuna by association. And only now, you're coming face to face with him, when you've also been a better part of their lives.' He shrugged. 'It's just a bit weird that he'd put in the effort that he is. According to Kenta and Yeon he's a loner, always has been. He does a job and moves out when it's complete. But now he's here, he's actually staying in Seoul indefinitely. Then he wants to be closer to Kenta, tries to be nice to us but that backfired and now he wants in on whatever gig you have going on.' Jungkook bit at his piercing absently. 'I'm just saying, if you're such a recluse, and you want nothing to do with the drama of the world, why would you want any association with a high-profile idol’s wife, and by default, a band that's in the literal center of media attention.'

You followed his words and you couldn't deny that Jungkook was making sense. 'But this is all speculation.' Your halfhearted attempt to nip the situation in the bud went nowhere.

'Exactly.' Jungkook nodded. 'It's speculation. And that's fair, if he wants to change his lifestyle, have a change of scenery, and all of those wonderfully human-like things, by all means it's possible. If that's the case, there's obviously nothing to worry about. But… ' His hold on your palm tightened a little to make you look up at him. 'If we're wrong about this, we'd rather be one step ahead of him.'

You arched an eyebrow. 'And you've taken it on yourself to do this.'

He shot you a cocky smirk. 'I'm the youngest, the most flexible one, I can look up at him like he lights up the sky with fireworks and he'd be none the wiser.'

‘So that was for show?’ You referred to when he got Huru to back off before his hyungs got involved.

‘Uh huh.’ He agreed, his pride resonating through in the simple sound. ‘He needs to have an ally. I play nice. I make friends with him. And I help figure out his angle.’ He iterated his plan in a few short words, slapping on the end for good measure. ‘Kenta and I have an agreement.’

A sense of foreboding prickled at your neck. Sure, you and Huru played nice and you took pride in chiseling out his stoney features, until he started making it more… but you weren't naive.

The PI was capable of who knows what, probably ruthless and unforgiving… you frowned at the idea of Jungkook playing games.

‘That’s not comforting in the least. Kook-ah…’ you started and had to pause to find the right words. ‘The things they do, Kenta and the team… Huru for that matter… what they’ve seen…' You purse your lips, trying not to put a dent in Jungkook's confidence in his abilities, but still wanting to protect him. 'It’s dangerous to play games with someone like Huru. I mean, God knows what he’s done for Kenta of all people to be weary of him. We can’t risk you getting hurt.’ You especially couldn’t risk him getting hurt.

‘Relax. I won’t do anything reckless, I promise.’

Okay, Plan B. ‘Do your hyungs know about this?’

‘No,’ he remained surprisingly calm, ’and you can’t tell them either.’

You raised a brow at his tone, before he clarified further. ‘They need to believe it’s real. Huru is perceptive. And I think if they have genuine reactions, it would give him the right idea.’

Smart. ‘Your hyungs are going to have an aneurysm.’ The joke tumbled from your mouth before you could stop it. Too late you realized a joke would make what he was doing some version of ‘okay’ when it really wasn’t. ‘Don’t go through with it, Kook. It’s going to cause a rift between your hyungs and yourself.’

‘I’m doing it for our family. I’m just making friends with him, Noona. You matter. And Namjoon hyung matters.’ He clicks his tongue before a strangled sentence passes between his lips. ‘We cannot go through this shit again. Especially not because of another man.’

You wince at his words. Relax y/n, he didn’t mean it like that. He was not questioning your loyalty or your morals. You understood what he was trying to say, but it still stung.

His features softened. 'I don't mean it like that, Noona. I trust you. I do. But I need to do this.’ His eyes plead with you, and he adds to it with his next words. ‘I'm only going to get close to him. Texting. Maybe meet-ups at the gym. Asking for advice. Nothing over the top. Nothing unnecessary.' He blew out a puff of air. 'Please let me do this.’

It was a no-brainer. Your head didn’t even consider arguing with your heart. You were a sucker. The man in front of you could commit murder and you’d find a way to make it go away.

‘Jungkook I swear,’ you pointed a finger at him, ‘if I find you scaling buildings or sneaking out or even remotely putting your freaking pinky finger in danger, I’ll –’ you stopped mid breath. What could you possibly threaten him with? ‘I’ll shave your head bald!’

Jungkook pursed his lips together to keep from laughing.

‘I am so serious!’

He broke out into a bunny smile, his laugh following suit. ‘Okay. No recklessness. No unnecessary risks. And yes, whatever information I find, I’ll pass along to you as well.’

You raise your pinky, wishing your resolve didn’t crumble, and hoping to all hell you weren’t making a mistake.

He folds his pinky around yours, his jaw set and his face a mask of seriousness. ‘I promise.’

You willed him to keep his promise. You needed him to keep his promise. Because if something, God forbid, happened to Jungkook, it wouldn’t be about Namjoon or the band being angry, it wouldn’t be about the betrayal of you knowing and giving the go ahead, it wouldn’t be about ever forgiving you for it either – it would be your guilt that would eat you alive, if Jungkook ever got hurt and you could have done something about it.

—-------

When you ended your dance with Jungkook, you were passed over to a very pissed off Seokjin, who, after a long and arduous lecture, handed you over to the open arms of your husband.

You didn’t like being scolded, even if you deserved it. But you hated making Namjoon upset all the more.

He hadn’t spoken a word to you yet and you were on the second song. His arms encased your body until your breasts were flush against him and you wrapped your hands around his neck, your fingers clutching to the hair on his nape.

‘Don’t be mad,’ you said so softly. His frustration was a stark thing that crackled between you and you had to wonder if he even heard you speak.

It was anxiety inducing. Not in the sense that he would ever leave you over something so trivial, but to destabilize the bond you both had solidified not less than an hour ago, it made you feel like shit.

And it’s not like you meant to go off with Huru or have an intense argument or even push anyone's boundaries for the hell of it. It was either Kwang or Huru and at least Huru didn’t make you want to hide. That childish feeling to hide behind someone, make yourself look small and unseen, all but disappear from the one person you didn’t want to be reminded that you existed. All so as not to cause a ripple in the still waters you worked so hard to keep from high tide.

You hid your face in his shoulder. ‘Please don’t be mad at me.’

'You did exactly the opposite of what I told you to do!' You jumped slightly as Namjoon pulled back and glowered at you. He kept his voice down but it was no less forceful.

'I didn't want to go stand next to Kwang for pictures.' You scrunch your face, wishing more than anything that Kwang would leave. 'He offered an opening and I took it.' You gnashed your teeth, as you felt a flicker of irritation from being startled. You consciously had to work to be calm and not snap at him. 'It was just a dance, Namjoon. And I had a chance to clarify a few things.'

'He touched you. He had no right to touch you or force you into any situation.' The bite in his tone was really starting to piss you off.

'Kenta has also held me back to talk, so has Yeon, so has any of the guys, it wasn't hurtful, he wasn't trying to hurt me or force me.'

'I trust Kenta. I trust Yeon, Xan, Zwahn, my brothers, even Ji-ho I trust to some extent, but I do not fucking trust him! Just fucking get rid of him.'

You blinked up at him.

‘Or do you want me to do it for you?’

You felt the stab of his anger, as your own threatened to lash out, but you bit the inside of your cheek. ‘Don’t talk to me like that.’ You said softly. ‘And don’t threaten me.’ You stuck your nose in the air. ‘The day you get to fire any individual working for me is the day I start making decisions for your music career.’

Namjoon glared at you, the implication of your choice of words resonating loud and clear. But you wouldn’t back down.

You let out a low sigh of relief when his tense shoulders relaxed slightly and he finally realized how illogical he was being. ‘I don’t like feeling like this, y/n.’ Namjoon's voice was taut as he leaned in to speak into your hair. ‘I know. I know you’re defiant and stubborn, but… you wouldn’t choose to hurt me.’ He pulled back so you looked up at him and touched his forehead to yours. ‘I just hate that he wants you. And don’t tell me he doesn’t want you.’ You could hear him mutter under his breath. ‘I fucking hate the idea of anyone falling for you the way I have. And I don't want him fucking touching you.'

You tightened your hold on him. ‘Namjoon… ’ you started, grasping blindly for words that could make this better. The very idea that he could lose you would be a living nightmare for the rest of his life if he didn’t get a handle on it.

‘What did the fucker even have to say?’ He spoke before you could even try to comfort him, effectively making you retreat into a shell you would usually never need to have around him.

'Baby, look at me,' you tilted your head to the side as your anger dissipated. The tumultuous emotion replaced itself with a sense of trepidation. 'He's not a threat to you, Namjoon. He never was. And he can't hurt me.' At least, after your discussion with Jungkook, you hoped he couldn't.

Namjoon's jaw set. He saw straight through your ruse to reassure him. 'Tell me.'

You dropped your gaze. A sense of unease curled up your back, and crossed both your shoulders, for once you wished you could lie to Namjoon, just to keep the peace. But a bigger part of you knew it would haunt you, even if this was something you could handle, even if his fears were irrational. ‘He said I was captivating.’

Namjoon tensed up under your arms. ‘But he also said that I do need a head of security, and that he will behave.’ You sighed, the heaviness in your chest a bit too much to handle. ‘He wouldn’t let his personal feelings get in the way.’

When you looked up at Namjoon his face, he looked at you like you were stupid.

You glared back. ‘I already asked him to reconsider.’

Namjoon scoffed. ‘As if he would.’

‘No, but he’s right. And it will not be permanent. He’s being…’ you winced as you continued to defend a man you had no business defending, ‘... mature about it.’

‘Are you kidding me?’ His voice was deceptively soft, a dark glint in his eye every indication that he was everything but calm.

'His contract is already in place.'

Namjoon huffed, and the cold laugh that was very unlike him made your hair stand on end.

‘Don't fuck with me, y/n. He’s admitted that he wants to get into your panties, in colorful words might I add, and you’re still going to employ him.’ Namjoon wasn’t attacking you. He was doing that logical, cold Namjoon thing, where his tone made you question your own choices and your own thinking and it hit too close to home with your father fresh at the back of your mind.

‘Can you just fucking trust me?’ You hissed, not taking kindly to his crude words. ‘I’ll work on not visiting any bars, if that makes you feel any better.’

The words left your mouth as an outlet to a stream of pent up frustration. Despite your need to defend yourself, you regretted them instantly. You screwed your eyes shut and wished to take them back, but you couldn’t.

Blowing out a breath of air, you inhaled and exhaled twice, before you looked back up at Namjoon, who averted his eyes instantly. ‘I’m sorry.’ You licked your lip. ‘I didn’t mean it like that.’

Your heart fell as he shook his head. ‘Not like I didn’t deserve it.’ You remained silent. You didn’t want him to think you would always bring it up and throw it in his face, you were not like that. You wouldn’t purposely hurt him. But the double standard was pissing you off, even if he was justified in being weary about the situation and the individual involved. Some part of you wanted to repeat the apology, reiterate that you didn’t mean it in the way it came out and beg to make it better so the renewed rift didn’t last, and another part of you wanted to hold your tongue, because what good would it do if he couldn’t see past his bout of jealousy.

He huffed after a couple of seconds. ‘What are we doing? What am I doing?’ His face screwed up in distaste as he exclaimed. ‘Fuck!’

‘Hey, hey,’ you stood up on your tiptoes and cradled his face in your palms. ‘It’s okay.’ You couldn’t help comforting him – you loved him.

‘No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be talking to you like that.’ His voice was tight, his usually kept together facade crumbled in front of you. ‘I know you. I'd like to think I know you better than you know yourself.’ Heated whispers against your lips. ‘And yeah, I don’t trust him, and I know he’s good at his job. I know that, but I can’t stand him.' His expression hardened. 'Above all, I know you wouldn't… I know he doesn't have a chance, but I just… I don’t know,’ he motioned with his hand, grasping for the right words. ‘… I'd rather you not entertain his bullshit, and this probably isn't even the half of –,'

‘It’s okay to be scared.’ You cut off his rant. 'While he's here those fears you feel are justified.’ You lifted yourself up to peck his jawline. ‘But you need to trust me to handle this. I will be safe and I will be vigilant and I will be cautious around him.'

Sometimes you could curse your ability to understand this beautiful man the way you did. Because your fears were on par with his, it was exactly what you were both afraid of – losing each other. To anyone. To anything.

‘I’m yours, Namjoon.’ You let him feel the bite of your nails back at his nape. ‘Well and truly yours.’ You would repeat the words as many times as he needed you to. ‘Even if someone loves me, even if someone likes me, even if they have a crush on me, no matter who they are, they will never be Kim Namjoon.’ You caressed his bottom lip with yours. ‘I will never stop loving you, Namjoon.’ You shook your head against the ringing confession. ‘I know I will love you, with everything I have and all that I am, until there’s nothing left of me. No one changes that. No one.’

When you sit back on your heels, his eyes bore into yours. And something altogether different passed between you. Fears. Insecurities. Cheating. Obsessive fans. They didn’t hold a candle to this man, this moment, the emotions swirling between you two; a tender violence that both strangled and breathed life into the necessary longing that you needed each other, more than you would ever admit, and more than you could ever imagine.

Namjoon’s face ingrained in every thought, his name behind every word you spoke out loud, his existence in the air you breathed. He was yours. And you were his and denying it would be as futile as counting the drops of water in the Namsan river.

He presses his lips together before he speaks again. ‘Will you ever forgive yourself?’ Your heart stops as his voice cracks on the raw sentence. ‘Can you forgive yourself for staying with a man that let you, for even one second believe, that you were not enough.’ His nostrils flared, as if the idea of it made him angry, but he couldn’t help himself or choose the alternative. ‘You have options, y/n. Asshole over there is one of them. But you stayed.' He brought your hand to his heart, and you felt the beat under your palm. 'You stayed for me.’

Your muscles lock at his words, not wanting to face the truth about yourself, but also knowing you were not coward enough to walk away from them. It was real, raw, something only Namjoon would dare ask you.

‘You know you deserve better. You know you should have walked away.’ His jawline is more pronounced at his declaration, it makes him all the more handsome. He really was so sexy when he was mad. ‘You are strong, y/n, to give me a chance, to stay and rebuild us knowing it won’t be easy. You’re so fucking strong. ‘ His fingers hold onto you in a bruising grip, keeping you from any distraction, needing you to listen to him, also for him to be sure that he could still hold you, feel you there as he battled himself with the answer to a question he already knew. ‘And I know you say you will not have regrets… of course if you do, we can deal with it then. And so help me God, if another man tries, especially that prick. But as you choose to stay….’ His jaw ticks and he does that tongue in cheek thing you find so hot ‘… do you think… you can ever… forgive yourself?’

You blinked against the rush of emotion behind your eyes, willing yourself not to look away as you answered. ‘I will. Someday.’

You would not lie to him, it would be as unjust as lying to yourself.

‘But for now, I prefer to think that I was designed to love you.’ There’s a lump in your throat that doesn’t make it hard to speak, just… it was just… a lot. ‘Call me crazy, but I can’t get enough. I can’t stay mad.’ Your voice drops to a whisper. ‘I can’t give you up.’

A tear slides down your cheek, showing him exactly how deep it went. ‘Don’t do it again.’ The plea comes from a part of you, you wished to never see the light of day. But he opened the dam, so he would just have to deal with it.

How this conversation had taken a turn or how your anger and irritation turned into you being pliant and honest and open, you didn’t know – but here you were, handing Namjoon your heart without reservation. ‘This second chance,’ you let him see your anger as well, ‘it’s not for the same mistake.’

He repeated the promise he’d made at least twice before. ‘Never,’ he touched his forehead to yours and you closed your eyes against the second set of tears that threatened to spill over. ‘Never again.’

Namjoon’s arms cradled you against his chest and your hands wrapped around him instinctively. His scent, his warmth – all of it, so freaking Namjoon. ‘I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, y/n.’ His chin rests on your head and somehow you know he’s smiling, even if it's a sad one. ‘You’re still the biggest mystery of my life, y/n. A book full of words I want to read, a galaxy of stars I won’t stop looking at. I want to find you when you are lost and figure you out and hold you. Dammit, I want to hold you and be your ground, so when you fall you know you can’t fall anymore. I’m going to do more. I’m going to be better. I promise.’

He hugged you to him. 'And I swear I will fucking punch him in the face as many times as I need to for him to get the message. I don't care what he does, who he is, which part of his body he hides his gun, I don't give a fuck, if he touches you again, if he even tries something –,'

You stood up on your tiptoes to kiss him. It was a light kiss, a little more than a peck, if anything it was a promise. 'Yours, Kim Namjoon.' You whispered against his lips and wrapped your arms around his waist.

'Mine.' The declaration was a deep rumble from his chest. His nose danced across your cheek and you held back your smile. Your husband was a big goofball.

As you found some sort of solace in his arms, you were hit with a stunning realization. Love wouldn't save you. Not always. When a bond was littered with everything real, two people that understood what it was, how much hurt it entailed, would have every reason to believe in love and know it wasn't everything… but still fight with everything they had.

Money wouldn't last. Pieces of paper, easily breakable, burnable, easy to use.

Attention would fade. Even the best of people needed a break from each other, separate beds and separate lives. Looks weren't even in the running. They were an added bonus. But with time, they held nothing.

If it were based solely on emotion… love was up and down, less and more, a rainy night now a sunny day tomorrow. Love colored a bond – it was between the two people it existed for, to uphold it.

Yes, you felt… but it was also a choice. Namjoon was your love and your choice.

And you chose as such, because you realized that you have to let the people that love you… love you – even if it provides an opportunity for the greatest of pains, even if parts of you were ripped away, parts that now belonged to him where you were more him than you, you had to love… even if it would devastate you beyond anything you could ever hope to recover from.

Taglist - @casnextdoor @jaysdimples @belliebelle @pinkcherrybombs @sweetjellyfishland @blushingatyou @jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue @somewhereinthestarss @k-brownsugar @namsona17 @taejinxkoya @notsooperfect @zae007live @its-hopes-world @shina913 @bri-mal @piecesofapril11 @kissme-ornot @toriluvsfics @agustdmwah @lochness-butmakeitsexy @petalsofink @definetlythinkimanalien @masterpiecejoonie @gcintia @danietoww04 @roguesthetic @rjsmochii @amymikaelson @hello-kittyy @mschievous247 @onlythehobi @deliciousdetectivestranger @daddypkj @callmemadhatter @rkivecenter @codeinebelle @creolesoul2seoul @nochelunaxx @serendididy [closed]

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Part 29.5 - Retriggered

Part 30 - Finale [N]

Part 30 - Finale [E]

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