#harassment is obviously never okay but this stuff needs to be called out!!!!

[elf-trash]

generative AI is an existential threat to creative spaces. fandom is a community governed space, so it's crucial that we collectively draw a line in the sand about its use. we must not try to distract from the issue at hand by attempting to deflect or dismiss it as an issue of fandom bullying or ship wars. creators must be transparent about AI use and the only way to enforce this is collectively, as a community, if we want to protect the precious creative space that is fandom.

[matan4il]

What's your evidence that Joost Klein harassed Eden at ESC? I've only seen evidence of Joost being harassed by Israeli delegation. And he was an assholeish idiot at the press conference but he wasn't the worst. And can people pleaaase stop spreading the smear campaign the EBU put out about him. He made a rude gesture, that's it.

Hi,

I'm gonna admit that if you saw the Dutch performer's behavior at the press conference, IDK how that doesn't constitute harassment? I mean, the part where he didn't like that the ESC organizers made him sit next to the Israeli singer, and he didn't want to be in the same frame with her, so he covered himself with the Dutch flag wasn't just being an asshole, he was publicly humiliating her, transmitting to everyone what a pariah she is, not based on anything she's said and done, but simply based on her nationality (and this little stunt was obviously going to attract attention, meaning he minded being photographed next to her, but he didn't mind being photographed covered up with the flag like that in the same frame with her, making it clear this wasn't him wanting to avoid political stuff).

In my book, that's bad enough, but then he added insult to injury. Eden was asked a disgusting question by a Polish journalist. He wanted to know whether she considered that she would be putting everyone else at ESC at risk (victim blaming much? Eden was the target of a violent mob besieging her hotel room, and turning her participation into an event requiring security. She didn't ask them to do this, she didn't force them to, she's a 20 year old girl, who has dreamt of representing her country at ESC for years, and when she finally gets to, she's being asked to carry the blame for the violence aimed at her due to her nationality... Imagine asking Ariana Grande after her Manchester Arena performance if she took into account that she was risking the lives of all of her fans, because an Islamist decided to use her event for a terrorist bombing that killed 22 young people, and would she never perform again, now that she was aware of the risk? No, that didn't happen, because it's a disgusting, victim blaming, terrorism-rewarding question). The panel host rightfully grasped that this was a political and harassing question, and told her she didn't have to answer it. Joost Klein then shouting at that, "Why not?" was harassment. He was piling up on the victim blaming, on top of showing zero empathy for a fellow performer targeted for her nationality, in a way he never would have agreed to be himself.

(I think that's last assessment is obvious since we now know he thought, even for a split second, that it was okay to threaten with fists a female camerawoman working for ESC, doing her job, filming the performers when they got off stage after their performances. This was done to the other performers as well, IDK what made Klein think his consent was needed in that moment, since to me it seems implied by agree to represent the Netherlands at ESC, but even if he had the right to refused being filmed, I have no idea what made him believe it was okay to use violent threats against an ESC employee).

I'd like to ask you where did you see "evidence" that Klein was harassed by the Israeli delegation? As far as I'm aware, there was only one vid trying to make that claim, and what was seen in that one, was an Israeli journalist (so, not a part of the performing team), working as a European correspondent (he also covered the war in Ukraine, to give you an idea of what that job entails, so he's a "respectable" journalist, not just a guy with a mic interviewing people for his ESC blog), called Dov Gil-Har (as far as I know, he's aligned with the left politically, so not exactly someone likely to be harassing people out of nationalistic sentiments), who was trying to ask Klein questions. Which... the last time I checked is his duty as a journalist. And Klein refused to answer Gil-Har's questions, which is his prerogative (though I do think it was pretty disgusting when some performers, like the Norwegian ones, refused to give interviews to any Israeli media outlets. Since it's based on nationality, it's once again hateful IMO), but then the Dutch team's manager (or whatever he was) really got in Gil-Har's face, and more than that, because I clearly heard Dov saying, "Don't touch me." Keep in mind, this was after Klein's shameful behavior at the press conference, and also after he missed a rehearsal that day, there were rumors circling around it somehow had something to do with Israel, so it is honestly the most natural thing for Gil-Har as a journalist, that he wanted to ask the Dutch team some questions. That should not have ended with him having to say, "Don't touch me," but to further misconstrue this as him harassing the Dutch team...!? WHAT?

It feels like another instance of DARVO, where the attacker/harasser/abuser shifts the fire away by reversing who was doing the harassment and who was being harassed. Everything we saw on camera was harassment of the Israelis, including even the media, while I've not seen one documentation on film of the Israelis harassing others. Plus, I heard the claim that the Israeli team was harassing everyone, yet we know that some performers didn't feel, act or express themselves that way.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[jayceeartz]

Tw: kind of a call out post I guess, death threat, mentions of murder and mentions of suicidal thoughts.

I doubt anyone will read this, but I feel like I need to talk about this individual I met on pinterest. I'm sorry if this is badly told and sorry for the lack of screenshots. This happened months ago and I completely forgot about it but I found out we are in a tnmn discord server together. Obviously I blocked them on there but the whole situation is bothering me again. I don't really have anyone to talk about this to so yeah I'm so scared to post this. And sorry if this is a lot to read.

Because i don't really know what pronouns they go by, I'm gonna prefer to them as they/them.

I had posted chenry art on my pinterest account (since deleted cause pinterest is a toxic hell scape) and I kept getting comments from this one account. They were saying shit like "am I supposed to like this????" And a ton of other things I didn't screenshot at the time cause I was really overwhelmed. Their username was something a long the line of "I really love Henry!!!!" Which was already making me feel shitty cause I knew why they were doing this. I was just going to block them but they got in my DMs and asked for my discord. I gave it to them for whatever reason and we started chatting and it was going okay. We talked about tnmn and horror movies but they still seemed pretty pissed with me. We kept talking when they out of nowhere said this

(I'm Bastard and they're Rat)

I thought they were just telling a horrible joke. But they started talking about personal stuff that I won't be showing. But I tried being understanding, but it was obvious they were taking my kindness for granted.

After talking about that they said this.

But of course, I'm not gonna stay friends with crazy person who wants me dead and probably has my IP address. So I asked my good friend on Instagram if I should keep them or not and showed them the screenshots. And they were like "JAYCEE! THEY THREATENED YOU BLOCK THEIR ASS FAST!!!" and so I immediately did so. And I spent the rest of the night wanting to kms.

That happened like, months ago. I completely forgot about the whole thing. But I found them in a discord server I'm in. And I haven't really felt safe on pinterest or discord or anything cause idk all of their socials. I generally feel like someone's out there wanting to kill me. But to anyone who might wanna block them, here's their socials that I was able to find.

I hate to sound dramatic, but I feel so scared to post this. What if they find this and start harassing me more or doxx me? Just to be safe I'm going to leave that server I'm in with them. I don't interact much on there anyway.

I'm really sorry for posting this out of nowhere. And sorry my dumbass didn't have many screenshots. I feel like such a fucking idiot for giving them my discord. This whole situation is stupid and wouldn't have happened if I didn't post my chenry art..

But yeah. Please be safe and aware of red flags when talking to people on the internet! You never know what could happen!

[popp1nstaxr]

Okay, okay, I was reading some stuff and I thought: "don't they realize that a female reader never gets her period?" and here it is, a txt type of boyfriend BUT he reacts to when you are in those days of course 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Sooo

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TYPE OF BOYFRIENDS—TXT

Content: Well, obviously fem! reader, colic, maybe you mention blood xd and well, it's not really much jsjs

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# period !!

Choi Soobin:

Soobin aaaa Soob would definitely be a sweetheart 😭😭 I would always be with you and even if I don't fully understand how you feel, I would try, I would always be attentive to you and if you need something, he may even worry more if you have very strong cramps, enough to take you to the doctor and confirm if Is that really normal or not.

You were completely covered in the bed you shared with him, he had please asked for a day off because he really wanted to take care of you that day, he didn't understand it but he knew that sometimes it could hurt a lot thanks to what his older sister had told him ( Yes, Soob has an older sister and I definitely called her to ask what she could do to help you) "Do you need anything honey? Is it in a lot of pain? Are you okay? Is the bed comfortable?" you laughed softly and nodded "It's okay, Bin. I'm fine, stop worrying" Soobin sat next to you on the bed and hugged you "But-" you kissed his lips to reassure him "I'm fine, I won't die from it" you clarified and you chuckled when he made a sound of surprise and took out his cell phone, showing you something he had been looking for "I investigated, you've been here for three days now and Google says that if you lose more blood than normal it can give you anemia :(" I explain with concern, you laughed a little "Soob, I'm fine" you said again, even so, it wasn't enough to leave him alone.

Choi YeonJun:

YeonJun would be VERY attentive, to the point of harassing a bit, but it's okay because he only cares that you're okay at that moment, although of course, he wouldn't be as paranoid as Soobin, but he would surely call you all day to check that you're calm.

"How are you darling?" YeonJun asked on the other side of the line, you looked around you, seeing all the change clothes, the excess towels, the stuffed animals, the chocolates, fruits and more things that YeonJun had bought for you before leaving and laughed a little. "I'm fine, believe me, nothing's happening" you spoke and you heard him sigh in relief "I'm glad to hear that... oh, love, I'll be home soon, okay? I'll call you in a few more hours" and cut it off, you laughed a little, and you continued cooking in peace, when not even a minute passed and your phone rang again, your boyfriend YeonJun calling again, you laughed low and answered "are you sure you're okay? you don't want something? I can buy it, there's a store here" you laughed low and denied, again stating that nothing happens, really, it was already the eleventh time I called you that day.

Choi BeomGyu:

BeomGyu would say that he is a little, just a little calmer than the other two, he would be with you all day, following you and accompanying you everywhere you need, he would be more in charge of caressing you, pampering you, because he knows that somehow or other You are more sensitive than normal and would not like to see you cry over something he did accidentally, it would feel terrible.

You've been crying for hours, the end of that movie really hurt you more than expected, Beomgyu was just by your side, consoling you and pampering you "it's okay love, I know, it's quite sad, the puppy was very good and I didn't deserve that ending" he said softly as he caressed your back "I know, let's go buy some sweets, you talked about craving something like that, what do you say?" he spoke and left a tender kiss on your forehead, smiling lovingly at you "Y-yes, yes, okay" you murmured and sniffled, he smiled and kissed your kisses tenderly before wiping your tears with his fingers and taking your hand to They both leave the apartment.

Kang Taehyun:

Taehyun, Taehyun is Taehyun jsjs he would be the only one who would leave you alone, he knows it's something hormonal and natural to the body so he doesn't worry too much, yes, he would definitely buy you some to make you feel good, chocolates or see what don't lack wipes, sometimes I would call you, but I wouldn't be as harassing as YeonJun, definitely the calmest.

"How was today love?" you asked as soon as Taehyun arrived, he went straight to your side and hugged you from behind, kissing your neck gently "fine, how are you love?" He asked as he moved away from you, going towards the living room and taking you with him "fine" you answered, he nodded and handed you a bag "I brought you some things, you know, towels and stuff, sorry if there are a lot of them I didn't know which ones to buy and I I asked the manager, she recommended those... oh, there's also chocolate, just in case" he explained and smiled at you, you smiled in the same way "thank you love" he kissed your cheek, really, you adored your boyfriend.

Huening Kai:

Kai is very cute, he would surely lend you his stuffed animals so that you feel accompanied when he is not there 😭😭😭 Although, at first it would be a little difficult for him to know what's wrong with you, it's not that he's innocent, he just thinks that's "something for women" but if you need help with something he'll be very willing to help you <3

"I brought you this love" he spoke smiling as he handed you a small sweet, you smiled "thank you love" you spoke and a small grimace crossed your face at a stitch of your cramps, Kai immediately went over to hug you and pat your back " It's okay, love, do you want any pills? I think that alleviates the pain" I spoke smiling and you nodded, I kissed the crown of your head and I handed you a stuffed animal "so that it warms you while it hurts less, according to what I read" you smiled and you agreed, he immediately went in search of the pill that he thought he could use.

[lagunaseca2013]

something about luca, grown up beloved and cossetted by vr in childhood and being god's most perfect butch and pecco, the surrogate daughter who probably had an anxiety attack the first time she forgot to shave her armpits....

GOD i could talk about this forever anon thanks for asking!!!! okay the thing about luca in this universe is that it’s not really a straightforward journey for her! she has long hair in the first chapter of lesbian triangulation and she doesn’t cut it until the second! she’s the best at makeup and girl-stuff etc even though she’s the least likely to wear a dress or get dolled up! i wrote her this way for a variety of reasons—i think luca is ruthlessly practical about things like image and appearance (see article where he said if i couldn’t race i’d be a model bc it’d be a shame to waste this beautiful face), and also the right kind of meticulously detail-oriented to get good at liquid eyeliner and plucking brows and glueing lashes.

i think she’s also just pretty good at playing the game socially? in a way? luca is super self aware about you know. not seeming too gay to appeal to sponsors, while also kind of having the freedom to look and act however she wants by virtue of being vale/the academy’s beloved princess. also she actually sort of has a straight girl friend group from childhood/school that she hangs out with on occasion. her straight girl best friend is marta!

also the caveat here is that actually pecco and luca both got harassed a lot in the lower categories (nepo allegations and motorsports-typical violent misogyny) despite sort of having vale’s protection. like. obviously luca especially gets to throw the brother card around however she likes, and she doesn’t usually rise to the bait when boys are being gross or mean but um. as per @telecommunikate and my dms, there’s at least one incident where she does punch a guy for saying something to or about pecco. lol.

pecco on the other hand……..well i’ve practically written essays on both of their body hair in this fic but. yeah. just know she gets a full brazilian the recommended every six weeks. and gives herself razor burn trying to do her pits all the time. growing up pecco was actually the more visibly queer presenting of the two. she had a self-proclaimed “embarrassing tomboy phase” around puberty that resulted in a terrible haircut (think real life cherubic curly halo baby pecco) and is the reason why carola calls her “my baby brother” to this day. pecco’s gender stuff is actually kind of the most complex out of the three of them, like. there definitely SOMETHING there, but she really really doesn’t want to examine it.

at some point during her teenage years/early early twenties she fainted after training bc she was wearing three sports bras on top of each other. and regularly did it. and luca (who only wears one sports bra or none at all bc ibtc) tried to be like. do u need a binder. or a breast reduction. but pecco didn’t want to hear it. sorry to give you big naturals girl it was just too fitting……..by the time of lesbian triangulation she’s definitely pretty femme, loooong curls that she barely knows how to cope with, wears dresses on dates with her horrible boyfriend, has an IUD……..so on and so forth. (she stops waxing eventually though like there’s HOPE).

vale doesn’t care that luca is a lesbian and they had a brief conversation about it when she was a teenager (where he, in his own insane way, showed concern by asking her if she was okay with sharing pecco with bez….a lot to unpack there i know) and then never spoke of again. but he’s supportive! when stefania finds out she cut her beautiful long blonde hair off and picks a fight about it vale is on her side! he took her to get her nose pierced when she turned eighteen! the whole academy knows she’s gay and are supportive and not weird about it! it’s all very sweet.

vale and pecco’s relationship in this universe is. complicated. for one thing i insist that they act exactly the way the do in this universe. see here. and obviously that’s like. it’s takes a really different tone when pecco is his beloved girl champion w the crazy inappropriate age gap LMAO. and it’s emphatically NOT WEIRD between them (vale would not come between his baby sister and her girl……..and her bez……..). but everyone thinks it is……..and the way they act is incredibly compelling evidence unfortunately! even after winning three championships pecco can’t really escape the comments about her relationship w vale which sucks but i think is probably. accurate to how this would work if pecco was a girl. lol.

[hyperfixingfr]

as another "anti", would u at least consider call out or warn other antis who have abused/preyed on younger kids too? (not putting any pressure, it is a mere suggestion based off your warnings.)

i had an experience with a typical adult "anti", they'd often say how xyz ship was bad for the blatantly obvious (which while i do agree with), but was abusing me in private while i was underaged. (won't specify the type, but you get the idea. it was very bad.)

i feel that kind of stuff very sadly goes unnoticed by most, because the abuse was from an anti, and it hurts.

I always do this. I never discriminate on who I call out. As long as I know they're doing it deliberately, have spoken to them, and attempted to try and see if they're miscommunicating, I call them out. I don't randomly call people out, which some idiots here seem to think I do because they want something to be mad at. I've had adults beef with me for calling out their obviously manipulative buddies, which results in them shitting on me constantly and passing around the idea that I'm somehow "ruling the fandom with an iron fist" just because I happen to call people out and bring attention to who should be avoided after finding out that someone is actively choosing to engage in bad stuff without care. Most of the time, these proshipping minors don't JUST proship. A lot of them do other things that aren't okay, like stalking, manipulating, or harassing. Anyone else in this fandom can tell you that I would never, EVER get on your ass for a random mistake. I've confronted many mistakes in the fandom before and I assure you, I try to be delicate when the person isn't trying to be an ass or purposely dense. I may accidentally come off more harsh than intended at first but I always try to fix that further into the conversation if it happens because I don't want the person who messed up to think their mistake will follow them.

I call out anyone who is doing something fucked up, really. If I knew someone was treating another person like crap in this fandom and did the whole discussion process thing... Yeah, I'd call em out. Doesn't matter if they're proshit or not. Someone doesn't get a pass for being an ass just cuz they don't ship incest or something lol. It just happens that a lot of the people that the fandom needs to be warned about are proshitters.

[the-firebird69]

My son is making a muscle and he was and he put it on line he said where is that guy and he is at the gym making a muscle and he did it on purpose and he did it because he's trying to show a point and there's several other things going on we have some crazy people walking around do want them to run into them rather than have a son riding around we don't like that of course there's other things going on it's a major occurrence today and we do see it happening quite a bit there's a lot of people out the heck of a day we need to mention it's quite a day and it's a big day and things are going okay so we got a few things and it works and they are very big and these guys can't get out of their own way this is just terrible we are putting some warrants out there's some of them that Joseph don't listen ever and are going to get hit coming up soon and we are in the process of figuring out what to do about it yeah we're moving on it pretty quickly you know it's a huge deal and he said the little ones like to occupy a bodies and it's not really true it's mostly the idiots that are near him and they're fighting over it and they are disgusting

Well the little ones do it yeah they do it a lot they don't tell you that that's the whole deal

We have a couple more things in the works right now we are experiencing a lot of oops problems with them harassing him trying to keep him from stuff by circumstantial cousins like presents like some a****** just did that's why I mostly black and it's black hair and he's a redhead in the grocery store and they're f****** assholes but to it doesn't want him to get the vitamin in anti-inflammatory so the a****** is getting in the way he says he won't have the energy to go get it and we're tired of you all of you are doing it to him obviously people are taking action on you and everybody else and really you're dying we don't expect you to get very far now you ruined yourself we don't like you for it and you're losing all your stuff it turns out that it gave us quite a plan we are inheriting all your stuff and you say will pay but really you're losing a lot of stuff from doing this idiotic s*** as you call it and it really is very stupid doesn't even look like they have what he's looking for and the game wasted his damn time and is now the good guy saving him a trip but people don't like doing business like that so it's really nasty it's really awful we don't like it and we are going to have to you for it and it's expensive I'll tell you very expensive so weird selection of stuff here they never have it right on the money and he's saying it I can't even find the other stuff and it's a full shelf few more things and we're going to get to it soon few more comments about today's events strange show lazy weirdos it's really quite obnoxious and Rebecca says we know how it is and it said you sure do and it's much worse than me it mean they had occupations they had disciplines yeah hi players pipe fitters not just plumbers and half and really they were not half-assed at it it was a group of people who were fairly decent at what they do and they were causing problems for a few people but not maybe they had to work together at each other and it's gross and we need people to cut the s*** but they won't so it's going to be horrible and that's the way it is. A couple more things coming up today I'm building up to a huge huge move in the middle areas and they're saying it's comprehensive and stuff so my son and people have big mouths and they start saying it is a mix of reasons why it's not all n**** AI that they're exposing which they had access to so therefore they have it and stuff like that no there's other reasons we're going to go over there pretty soon we have an upcoming announcement it's fairly big we do want to let people in on it it's important and it is a growing concern. These assholes are sitting here bothering him they say they're sending messages and it's massively annoying our son and daughter say it's the most annoying thing they've experienced for a long damn time I need them to cut it out but we don't think they're going to so we're going to have to do something about it and we are moving out shortly it's going to be a problem for them anyway today won't be there day. We don't put up with people sitting there saying this stuff to us you're a bunch of jackasses and fools unbeknownst to you we are a very aggressive people no we told you don't do that you're going to get beat up and it's going to happen shortly we need you to know that your actions today are not that bad with regards to sort of helping him get stuff but you ruin it completely by screaming what you're going to try and do and what you're trying to do to us and you're just insane people we've never actually seen people who sit there screaming what they're going to do and we mean it you are yelling it in code and you look like maniacs screaming it and I'm going to intercept right now and shortly and all night and it's going to be very painful you'll probably lose 0.5% yeah a little bit more shortly

Thor Freya

And yeah you just barely hear it and it's very annoying you are disgusting and we're going to start working now

Olympus

Jesus Christ is every stupid person that he comes in contact with each and every time

Hera

And you would thought you were lost before just wait you're going to be very very lost

Zues

[alaskan-wallflower]

This is the last thing I’ll say about this but they definitely do not sound like they are in law school. One of my closest friends is a lawyer and went to law school and speaks very very very sophisticated and knows what she’s saying. That person doesn’t and sounds like a middle schooler 😂 also if they were really a law student even if classes have just started again they would not have the time to be online and constantly posting things! I know from experience from my friend who actually is a lawyer at a firm

i was thinking that LMAO-my brother is in college rn and he hasn’t had the time to even call so like it’s lowkey obvious they’re not a law student or even anywhere close to being in college. and yeah i get like legally they may not be able to share info but i find it funny that all these people who have “insider info” are law affirms or are in the legal field or have had things like this happen to ex colleagues and whenever they’re asked what their insider first hand info is they refuse to share it because “I CANT FOR LEGAL REASONS!!!!!” yet i think those legal reasons would also stop you from insinuating you do have insider info. you fit. sure broadway has covered up some stuff. but the allegations have been around since BG was in college and he had no big bad Broadway people to protect him then. so i kinda just feel like thee people are highly against brody for whatever reason (o think it’s stupid to hate someone you don’t know to any degree, especially not personally and you should never hate anyone to the point you’re spreading or in support of spreading false rumors about them) but anyway. they’re all on holdup in middle school. i blocked them all because it’s not worth my time. but they’re also bitching about being cancelled when they haven’t been. calling someone out is different than being cancelled.

anyway, you guys can ask me whatever you want. i’m an open book to you guys. i’m obviously not in support of harassing a person, however i do think that this person should be held accountable for their actions. it’s not okay to body shame people and their comments were gross. it wasn’t even just them but the fact that they hearted those comments shows a lot about their character. if you wanna joke don’t put to some inside jokes in public. keep it inside. that’s why it’s an inside joke.

people need to learn social media etiquette.

[lady-lazagna]

I'm not super back into Bakugan (that five-year solo special interest phase will be missed) BUT impulse buying a Shun funko pop has reignited something in me

SO I'm gonna write some random headcanons of the core six (anything after season one doesn't exist to me lol sorry) and their Bakugan:

-Hitting Shun with the Autisti-fication beam. Only talks when he feels it's important, super observant, can't tell you how he feels for the life of him (I am him, actually). In my hc, he's pretty sensitive to bright lights, fucking hates people touching his forearms or neck, as is over-empathetic.

-Runo wants to be a lawyer. No one's 100% sure where this ambition came from, but it likely has something to do with the constant sexual harassment she faces in her current workplace under the watch of her criminally ignorant father... but who knows🤷‍♀️

-Always designating this hc to the loudest mf in the show, but Dan is a youtuber. That guy is an absolute Clout Chaser. He'd do a lot of irl stuff I think, like challenges, pranks, storytimes- and of course, a lot of Bakugan content. Some would compare him to David Dobrik. He'd fucking kill those people.

-Julie lifts. Girl could bench-press you in a heartbeat. When she gets excited, she'll just grab whoever's closest to her and twirl them around like a doll. However, she's learned to ask people if they're okay with this beforehand since becoming friends with the aforementioned autistic ninja. ^^^

-Alice listens to Death Grips when she knits. That's it. Guillotine has the best rhythm for knitting in her opinion.

-Marucho had a big "in a silly goofy mood😋" phase after he stopped being his parents' bitch. He tried really hard to do silly and "outlandish" things that were actually like... bare minimum. He used an empty chip packet as a hat and thought he was going completely off the rails.

-Obviously Runo swears the most out of the group- girl has a lot to say, and a lot of it consists of "you dumb fucking bitch." Dan tries to swear just as much, but it doesn't come naturally to him so it always feels very off when he does. Marucho, Shun, and Julie don't swear as often, but when they do, it's always unexpected and very hilarious. Alice is the only one who actively doesn't want to swear.

-On the Bakugan's end, Preyas uses a lot of old-timey slang for swear words. Dan told Drago that "fuck" is interchangeable with "play" and insanity ensued. Gorem tries not to swear because he knows it's impolite. Tigrerra also thinks it's impolite, but sometimes you just need to call your fellow Bakugan a bitch (and damn does it feel good, even if they have no idea what you're talking about). Skyress only swore once, when she told Shun's grandpa that she fucked Shun's mum. Hydranoid has never heard a swear word in his life and Alice is determined to keep it that way.

-Little self-insert shipper Laz would kill current me for this, but it has to be said: Dan, Runo, and Shun are in a polyamorous relationship. Three bisexual icons. It was bound to happen. I could write a whole post about their relationship if I could be bothered. Maybe I will be bothered one day.

-Actually maybe the entire gang is bisexual (except for maybe Alice... we need a lesbian other than the pretty evil Vexo lady). At first I thought about making Julie a lesbian, because then she'd be a pink femme lesbian (just like me fr), but I do kind of like her relationship with Billy, so she's yet another bicon. I've also heard of this dude named Tsubasa Ren that Marucho has a thing for, so *slams fist on table* ANOTHER BICON.

-Okay maybe the Vexos and the Resistance and whatever other fucking aliens they added do exist to me, I'll just ignore their entire storyline and how they fucked over my three leading ladies.

Aight that's it for now. Idk if headcanoning works the same way here as it does in the beyblade world, so if you're upset by me making them autistic and gay, I offer you my sincerest eat my ass.

[queen-haq]

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 13

Fic: A Woman Scorned - Part 13

Pairing: Billy Russo x Reader

Rating: R for language and smut.

Words: ~3000 words.

Summary: You’ve been sleeping with Billy Russo for a few months now. Knowing his aversion to emotional commitments, you’re satisfied with your clandestine arrangement until you catch him having dinner with Dinah Madani one night. Then it finally dawns on you. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit, he just doesn’t want to commit to *you*.

Billy may think he knows you, but he has no idea what he’s just lost...

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5   Part 6   Part 7   Part 8   Part 9  

Part 10   Part 11   Part 12

gif credit: @bilyrusso

Part 13

It was 8 in the evening and you were still in the office. You hadn’t accomplished much work today, your mind mostly focused on Billy. You were surprised by how quickly he’d been able to make the funeral arrangements for his mother. Yesterday you had driven over to the nursing home and by the time you reached there, Carla Russo’s body had already been picked up. You’d signed a few papers for Billy and picked up the remainder of Carla’s things before you returned home. Everything of hers was packed into a small suitcase and sitting in your living room. You wanted to call him, ask him how he was and offer your support, but he seemed determined to do everything on his own when you’d talked to him last and you didn’t want to intrude.

You gave yourself a mental shake, reminding yourself to concentrate. This workday had been a wash. When you weren’t distracted by thoughts of Billy, you were putting out fires in your team. At least the personnel conflicts have been temporarily resolved, but now you needed to work on a slide deck that you’d been tasked with presenting to the executive leadership committee later in the week.

An hour later you were halfway done with your presentation when your phone rang. You glanced down at your screen to find Billy’s name on the screen. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He sounded exhausted. “You still at work?”

“Yeah. How did you know?”

There was a pause. “You give off the workaholic vibe.”

You smiled to yourself; at least he was okay enough to crack jokes. “How are you?”

“You mean am I grieving over a goddamn dead woman who preferred meth to her own fucking son?” He sighed. “No big loss. I’m fine.”

Anger and hurt saturated his voice despite his attempts to sound unaffected. Your heart hurt for him, you wished there was something you could do. “Do you need anything?”

“The funeral service is tomorrow.” A beat of silence followed. “Do you want to come?”

“Sure. What time?”

“2pm.”

“I’ll take the day off. Do you need my help with anything? Maybe I can call some of her friends?”

“When I found her she was living on the streets, barely alive but still hooked on meth. I doubt she’s got any friends.”

“What about the people in the nursing home? Maybe they want to come?”

“No, I don’t want anyone else there. Just you.”

Not liking the warmth that spread through you upon hearing his words, you reminded yourself he was probably feeling unusually vulnerable. This wasn’t typical of him.

“Do you want to come over?” he asked.

You exhaled a heavy sigh. “I would but I have so much work to do. I’ll be here for another hour at least.”

“Come over after you’re done.”

“It’ll be really late.”

“That’s fine. I can wait.”

“I can stop by my place to pick up your mom’s-.”

“No, it’s okay.”

You realized he wasn’t quite ready to go through Carla’s belongings yet.

“Bring your stuff with you.”

“Stuff?”

“Overnight bag, clothes for tomorrow, whatever.”

“Oh. You want me to stay over?”

“Yeah, might as well. We can drive over together for the service tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Despite the conversation coming to a natural end, he wasn’t hanging up. It seemed as if he was reluctant to be alone, probably because that meant dealing with the complicated emotions for his mother. You knew exactly how that felt. “If you want, I can leave now. I can work from your apartment instead of the office.”

“You’re not worried I’ll be tempted to spy on Valiant stuff?” he teased.

You smiled. “As if I’d let you see what I’m working on.”

“Guess no corporate espionage for me tonight.”

“Still going to keep you away from my laptop.”

He chuckled. “Just get here. I promise not to bug you while you work.”

“Okay. I’m leaving now.”

“See you soon.”

After you hung up, you started gathering your things together.

***

An hour later, you were at his place. When he opened the door, you immediately grew concerned at how tired he looked. Traveling back and forth from Vegas plus dealing with the news about Carla’s death within the last few hours meant he was absolutely exhausted.

“Hey,” he greeted you, smiling as he took the overnight bag from your hands.

You removed your heels while he took your bag inside his room and then made your way to his living room. While his penthouse suite was much bigger than yours, you actually didn’t like it very much. Despite the high-end finishes and the beautiful interiors - Billy had obviously hired a designer to make the place look good - it always felt very cool and inhospitable to you. It was too perfect and you always felt out of place inside the suite.

“You hungry?” he asked, coming up behind you. “I ordered dinner for you.” Arms encircling your waist, he dropped a kiss on the back of your head as he maneuvered you to the kitchen. He’d laid out the food for you on the dining table, and from the take-out containers you knew it was from one of your favourite Indian restaurants. The thoughtful gesture surprised you, you weren’t used to that from him. Noting that he’d only set the table for one, you turned around to look at him. “You’re not going to eat with me?”

“I ate already. I was starving. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.” You cradled his face with one hand, your eyes roving over his beautiful face as he placed a kiss on the fleshy part of your palm. “You look exhausted. Did you even sleep?”

“No” He leaned back against the kitchen counter, weary. For a moment he closed his eyes, simply holding still, and you found yourself wrapping your arms around him in a hug. You didn’t understand why you’d even initiated the embrace – hugs were never your thing – but seeing him so beaten-down you were desperate to comfort him. He leaned into you, his body flushed against yours, and you held him tight. Stroking the nape of his neck, you placed a soft kiss on the center of his forehead. “Why don’t you take a nap while I work?”

“You don’t mind?”

You smiled up at him, running your fingers through his hair. “At least I don’t have to worry about you stealing my company secrets while you sleep.”

He smirked. “You’ll be here when I wake up?”

“Yup. Probably still working away.”

Billy grazed your temple softly before dropping a tender kiss on the tip of your nose. “Okay, but eat first.”

You nodded your head, watching after him as he sauntered out of the kitchen and disappeared down the hallway.

Sighing, you went to the sink to wash your hands before eating.

***

It was after midnight and you were still working on your slide deck when you heard Billy puttering around in the bathroom. Soon he slowly made his way towards you, dressed in a t-shirt and black boxers, his hair all messy. He yawned lazily, falling onto the other end of the couch.

“I thought you’d sleep through the night,” you remarked.

“Are you still working?” he asked.

“Almost done.” You saved the file and shut off the laptop before slipping it back inside your bag.

Suddenly he pulled you closer and you found yourself tucked underneath him on the couch as he glanced down at you from above. “You work too hard.”

You smiled up at him. “They don’t pay me the big bucks to sit there and look pretty.”

A slow, incandescent smile curved his lips. “I would. If I ran Valiant, you’d be my personal stress relief. You’d be in my office the entire time and do nothing but look pretty and service me.”

“That’s sexual harassment.”

Billy shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever. I’d make it worth your while.”

You laughed, angling up to kiss him. “Your breath is all minty fresh.”

“I brushed my teeth for you.”

“Wow. Be still my heart.”

A warm grin covered his face as he shifted down your body to nuzzle your neck. His weight was heavy as he rested atop you, but you liked the solid feel of him on you, the way you felt all safe and warm. You stroked his hair while he drew lazy circles on your chest, the silence between you two comforting.

“No one knows about her. Not Frank, not Curtis, no one.”

Those names were familiar to you because Billy had mentioned them in passing a few times. Of course he’d never shared any other info, but you being you, you’d dug around and found out more about them. You knew they’d served with Billy and he considered them his closest friends.

“When I found her three years ago, I put her in that home and forgot all about her.”

“You visited her every week,” you reminded him.

“Because I wanted her to regret abandoning me. I wanted her to see how far I’d come, I wanted to throw her mistakes in her face. But I don’t think she regretted safe-havening me, not even a bit.”

The bitter pain in his voice made your heart hurt for him.

“Maybe I should be happy she’s finally dead, or maybe I’m supposed to be sad or something.”

“How do you actually feel?”

“Nothing. I feel nothing.”

“Billy, I think that’s normal. There’s no right or wrong in this. All of your feelings are valid.”

“Even if her dying made me absolutely ecstatic? You wouldn’t think I was a fucking psychopath?”

“You are a psychopath but not because you have conflicting emotions about your terrible mother dying. You have the right to feel how you feel about her, whatever that might be.”

Eyes blazing with emotion, he hovered about you to meet your gaze. “Then what makes me a psychopath?”

You quirked your eyebrow. “The fact you want to torture my dates.”

“Not just torture, I want to kill them.” Eyes darkened, voice velvety-smooth, he covered your mouth with his and ravaged you with a kiss that left you thrumming and breathless.

“Only you’re allowed to touch me?” you asked through labored breaths.

“Yes.” His voice was a lustful rasp, his mouth leaving a heated trail as he sucked on the oh-so-sensitive corner of where your neck and shoulder intersected. Sparks of electricity ran down your spine. “Only me.”

You took his hand and guided it down your body, parting your thighs for him.

Like always, you were soon completely lost in the erotic pleasure of his mouth on you. Your legs hooked over his shoulders, your hands grabbed the back of the couch for support as he fucked you with his hands and mouth, sucking you, licking you, his tongue flicking over your clit until you were keening under him. Body arching off the couch, you moaned his name louder and louder until he drove you completely over the edge.

Then you felt a light slap on your cunt which immediately brought you back to reality. Opening your eyes, you found Billy perched between your legs, gracing you with the most wicked smile. “That’s one.” He slapped your pussy again, this time his long, lean fingers ever so slightly grazing your clit and your hips bucked, wanting more. “As promised.” His eyebrow quirked up. “Punishment.”

“Not fair,” you protested. “I’ll date who I want.”

He slapped you again, a little harder this time, but then he leaned down to place comforting kisses on the very spots he assaulted and you moaned with pleasure.

“All of you.” His tongue lapped over your clit, eyes locked with yours. “Belongs to me. I own you.”

“You don’t!” You squealed when he flipped you over unexpectedly, grabbing you by the hips so your ass was lifted of the couch. And then he squeezed your butt cheeks, biting them lightly before he started rimming you.

***

After sharing a shower the two of you were laying in his bed, your back pressed against his chest as you both stared up at the ceiling. His one hand was intertwined with yours, the other arm circled around your hips. The two of you didn’t have sex but you didn’t mind. You were both fatigued.

“I smell like you now,” you murmured, realizing the soap in his shower had left its scent on you.

“I know. I like it.” He squeezed your fingers. “I have a present for you.”

“I hope it’s not earrings again.”

He chuckled. “No, not earrings.”

“What is it then?”

“Jewelry.”

You turned back to look at him. “What? Like a necklace?”

“Something like that. Except I’m the only one who’ll see you wearing it.”

“Ah. And where is this gift?”

He kissed the top of your head. “Not here yet.”

You smiled to yourself. “People usually wait until they have the gift in hand before telling others about it.”

“I couldn’t wait. I’m excited to see you wear it.”

He stroked your hair, and your eyes grew heavy. Soon you started falling into deep slumber, feeling calm, comforted by Billy’s arms around you.

“What happened with your family?”

Your eyes flew open. Like always, any mention of your family unfurled anxiety within you. You didn’t like thinking about them letting alone discussing them. “They passed away.”

“They’re dead?”

“Yes.”

“Both of them?”

“Yes.”

He pulled you up so you were facing him now, his intoxicating gaze completely focused on you. “That day when I asked you about the pictures, you said you weren’t close to your family.”

“I meant my extended family. I don’t keep in touch with them,” you replied smoothly.

“What were your parents like?”

Irritation surged through you at his obtrusive questions but you had to remind yourself he just lost his mother. He was feeling out-of-sorts, working through his grief – even if he didn’t think so – and he was reaching out to the only person in his life that knew about his mother. “Normal.”

He simply stared at you for a long time, studying you, saying nothing. “Normal,” he repeated, finally breaking the strained silence.

You shrugged your shoulders, dropping your gaze to the base of his throat so you didn’t have to hold his piercing stare. “Yup.”

“How did they die?”

“Car accident.”

“You miss them?”

“Of course,” you lied.

He reached out to cup your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. “So you grew up with great parents, white picket fence and all that bullshit? Sounds like you had a fairytale childhood.”

“Can we talk about this tomorrow? I’m really tired.”

“Sure. I’ll add this to the list of all the other shit we’ll talk about someday.”

He sounded almost angry with you and you weren’t sure why. Before you could question him, however, he pulled you close so you were snuggled against his chest and the warmth of his body was enough to silence your brain and lull you to sleep.

***

It was a cold, crisp autumn day in New York. The outdoor service, attended by only you and Billy, was short and quick. Throughout it, he’d gripped your hand even though he’d been outwardly calm and collected. Even now as he stood a few feet away from you, impeccably dressed in a black suit, his dark eyes hidden behind a pair of aviator sunglasses as he stared out at the pond, you sensed he was a complete mess inside. You didn’t know what to say to him so you simply sat on the bench, both of you in an isolated corner of the garden. Eventually he came to sit beside you, taking your hand in his.

“I’d have given her the whole world.” His voice was filled with pain and longing as he removed his sunglasses and tucked them in the upper pocket of his suit. “I would have given her anything she ever wanted.” Billy’s eyes met yours. “If she’d just wanted me.”

You scooted closer to wrap your arms around him, breathing him in as he sunk into you. His hands caressed your back, his grip on you so tight you almost couldn’t breathe. After a while he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes holding you prisoner in front of him.

“Swear to me you’ll never leave.”

“Billy-”

“Promise me!”

“I can’t.”

“It wasn’t a fucking request, Y/N.”

You tried to pull away from him but he fisted the back of your hair, holding you in place.

The raw urgency in his voice played havoc with your emotions. If you closed your eyes, just for a moment, you could shut out all the doubts in your head and simply believe him - but you could only live the fantasy for a short moment before reality forced its way back in. “You don’t mean those words, Billy.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you don’t feel that strongly about me.”

His eyes narrowed, glaring at you with hostility. “You’re gonna tell me how I feel?”

“I’m not what you want.”

“And what do you think I want?”

You gave him a sad smile. “The best of everything. Best car, best clothes, the most beautiful women in your arms. You want all that because you need others to want what you have.”

“Is that so wrong?”

You shook your head. “No, there’s nothing wrong with that – except I don’t fit into any of those categories. You want a woman like Dinah Madani. I’m not her. So eventually this thing between us will end.”

His jaw was set in a grim line, eyes burning bright with rage. “So you have me all figured out, huh?”

“Don’t get mad. You know it’s the truth.”

He yanked you closer, crushing you against him. “It’s been me against the world for as long as I can remember. But when I look at you.” His eyes softened, mouth parting as his dark gaze roamed over your face. “I don’t feel alone anymore.”

Your heart melted. The tenuous handle you had on your self-control disintegrated completely. You closed your mouth over his, kissing him frantically as he picked you up and straddled you across his lap.

He pulled back to look at you. “You’re my home. You’re all I need.”

Part 14

A/N - As always, all of your feedback, comments, asks, likes and reblogs are deeply appreciated. They truly inspire me to keep writing, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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[burgycreeper405-blog]

a messy rant talk cuz am angy

bruh, osc twitter is so fnckin toxic like, they just gave me extreme trust issues that i just start to not follow or even interact with anyone outside of my friend circle immediately even if they art is cool and chet cuz whenever i interact with anyone (like follow, reply or somthin) they will go and block me bcuz someone tells them that i did something bad without even knowing what it is, yet they believe them like they know me better

and the only thing i did was ship knife and mic, ive known that the siblings hc is everywhere and i asked allot of times why its so popular, yet no one is telling me so i did my own search about it but noooo they be harassing and spamming me in quote retweets and calling me out and chet for an info that a newcomer wouldnt know instead of just dm-ing me,, they fr had to tell the public about it

like bro, i just joined not even a year in, just a month in, yet they harassing me like ive been here since day one

and might i let you know that the “proof” they be spamming me is almost a decade old, like, they didnt even ask the person if theyre still okay with it or not, a friend of mine has to ask them about it and guess what, he doesnt even mind it anymore

and then them saying “we reached out to burgy but they did nothing” like??? did my thread that i did and deleting the microknife art mean nothing?? even if the person said that its not even a big deal anymore?? yall need to get more info than just info that’s decades ago cuz like, you do know people change right?

and just cuz i posted that thread a day late cuz like bro, i was tryna write it as clear as possible yet that is nothing to you???

like yeah, i blocked some people but they were spamming and harrassing the frick out of me and chet like dude, i get it, your proof is a decade old, try and see if its still accurate sheesh, shut up, i have never blocked anyone unless theyre being annoying, and thats what i did, i unblocked them a few days later

and now its about the GKGG au??? like bro, it’s an au, obviously its different from canon, and now bcuz of that, my friend has to do an explanation about it here even if it’s so obviously obvious (they even explained there on twitter that the backstory is different from canon, but i guess they don’t know how to read)

haysst

i am so glad that i decide to just keave twitter, ive been wanting to leave twitter since a long time ago cuz i dont even know what to do with it than just like my friends’ & brother’s post and funny retweets and CoryxKenshin says to follow him on twitter/hj

and now, i finally dumped that bird app on the trash cuz, my dash was so full of osc people that i dont even want to interact cuz my gosh, every week is just full of callouts and stuff,and like, they just be bringing up old drama, like even if the person theyre calling out is trying to change and chet or just even the drama was like months or years ago, they be bringing it up like its nothing, like the person didnt apologized and stuff, and what’s worse, people believes the one who did the callout post, they didnt look if what theyre saying is true or not like dude, whats worse is if it’s a fresh wound and the person is trying to change, but i guess the osc twitter doesnt understand the word “sorry” even if you did a whole essay about how sorry you are, it’s like they dont even wait for the other half side of the story bro

two months in knowing and drawing ii and the osc twitter was so toxic like bro, i dont think i can handle years being there, let alone just a month like sheesh

aight

here’s a old random sketch of Katie and a oc named Erick from my tlm superhero au as a, i dunno, a thank you i guess? if you took the time to read all dat, i dunno

i wanna draw more of them,,

[writing-for-life]

@violetoftheendless Thank you so much for your thoughts. I’m replying to @tickldpnk8 ‘s post because she already said much of what I also would have said (thanks for that, too).

First of all: I know I can speak only for myself, but you are welcome here, @violetoftheendless I value your posts and your critical thinking. You’re also not spoiling the fun (at least not for me). To me, it’s a bit like what I already wrote in my fanfic post:

It’s not an either/or, it’s very much a both/and. Many of us are probably sitting with the push/pull of wanting the escapism and the beautiful stuff *and* the deep contemplation (which sometimes brings up uncomfortable things). I can obviously only speak for myself, but it wouldn’t surprise me if this were true for many, if not most, meta writers.

How we handle these things, and the engagement with other people (whether they agree or disagree), how we handle pushback etc, can never be anything but individual. Some people are more prone to take criticism personally, others aren’t. That has nothing to do with the fact that the problems we are talking about don’t just affect individuals, but whole groups. Again, it’s complicated and always a both/and.

If I speak for myself: I only have one hard limit, and that is abuse/harassment/bullying. This is partly what sparked this post. And it’s not really about me, because I’m fairly thick-skinned and block liberally, don’t allow anons and don’t engage with these people on a personal level because I prefer to use my energy on those who, while they might not agree with me, are open to discussion and treat other people with respect instead of being part of a screaming mob .

But I still call that behaviour out. I’m not condoning it, neither do I tolerate it. I just decide how I engage with it and let it affect me personally, and hence, in the wider sense, others.

And the reason for that is that in my day job, I’ve seen the harm that social media causes too many times. No discourse, and I say absolutely NO discourse, is worth sacrificing our mental well-being. So when I say we curate our own experience, we can block and filter, that’s part of that circle I draw around myself. I can’t control if people want to slide into my inboxes. I can’t control them, no matter how wrong I think they are. We can’t control others. But I can control how I choose to engage, or if I stop engaging altogether (I took a time off Tumblr and other social media for 3 months this year, and I can only recommend it).

That doesn’t make their actions right. That doesn’t make the overarching problem/s we see in fandom go away. But there’s that saying about putting your own mask on first. If I want to keep on chipping away at what I perceive as problematic in fandom, I need to make sure I am okay first. And if my energy is zapped by squabbling, and my mental well-being starts to suffer, I can’t do that. So once more, that type of “discourse” (I am loathe to even call it that) is where I draw a hard line, and I’m not willing to engage with people who hide behind a fake name and think it’s okay to lash out at others. That’s where I curate my experience, and I will continue to do so.

To (not so) briefly talk about Hob/Dreamling: I came on here last year because the TV show had set my decades long Sandman brain-rot off again, and I needed to give my partner breathing space before I drove him nuts 😂

And when I came on here, my first reaction to Dreamling was: “Huh?”

Honestly, I was confused. Even in the show, I didn’t read them as anything but platonic, but of course that was also down to my 30 year long history with the comics. I could see the slight undertones, but Tom had them with literally everyone, so it honestly did not occur to me that this would be a thing. Or let’s say: Not on this epic scale (m/m ships were always a thing, but this was something else). It felt completely out of proportion to me, considering both screen time and Hob’s general place in the arc. To this very day, I have no interest in Dreamling whatsoever. I don’t ship them and never will. I also don’t care if people do, it’s totally fine by me. What I *do* care about is if people voice their own opinions about it and get dogpiled on. There’s a massive difference between saying “I don’t ship Dreamling, and these are my reasons…” and “People who ship Dreamling are idiots.” But unfortunately, the response to both is often the same, and that’s sad.

I think my very first sort of meta (I didn’t even know this was a thing at the time) was exactly about this confusion with Dreamling. I had like a handful of followers back then, and the engagement with that post was low, but there were a few people who (both openly and via PM) agreed. I didn’t get any negativity at that point, but I got the first PM of a person who joked, “You can’t say that out loud around here.” I really didn’t think much of it at the time, but the longer I stayed, the more I noticed there was more than a grain of truth about it. That “grain” encompassed everything from open hostility to passive-aggressive remarks. Like that everyone who just dares to talk about racism, misogyny, transphobia, what-have-you in fandom is only “virtue-signalling”. And yes, there are certainly things that feel performative, we don’t have to argue about that, but these are not the things we are talking about here. Instead of trying to silence people, there truly *is* the option not to read their stuff if it gets on your nerves. But there is also the (in my view better) option to step back, think and not be reactive, and then to engage when the emotions stopped running so high. The only option that isn’t truly an option is trying to shut people up for their respectfully stated opinions.

It’s part of my job description to understand (or at least try to understand—the mind is a funny thing) why people react the way they react when their worldview, or something they hold dear, is threatened or questioned. So from that angle, I totally get that the only response some people have available is aggression, while the only response available to others is retreat (and both are ingrained patterns that have a lot to do with our life experiences). And I could talk a long time now about the workings of this, and why these dynamics play out the way they do, also in fandom. And I could talk even longer about that I’m not immune to these hardwired responses either.

But if we allow to let them keep on playing out that way without questioning them, we will get to the point that @tickldpnk8 described. And that’d be everyone’s loss. What makes fandom beautiful is diversity, not a big echo chamber.

And I hate how soapboxy this sounds, but I believe in it, and I guess I’m too old to feel embarrassed about voicing it.

So once again, thanks to everyone who has engaged with this post so far.

Nuance in (The Sandman) Fandom

I thought a lot over the past few days, partly prompted by discourse on here, partly due to a couple of “interesting” asks and messages I received (the type you don’t answer). I *think* they might have been prompted by engaging in discourse on topics like anti-blackness/racism, misogyny/sexism, TERF characters etc in The Sandman.

Fandoms are always getting super sensitive if someone shines a critical lens on their favourite works, authors and characters. So to make this clear (in case it isn’t already obvious from my brain-rot blog):

I love The Sandman. I love Neil Gaiman. I have an extremely soft spot for Dream (and Desire btw, who deserves a lot more character analysis than just being summed up as “villainous, sexy bitch”. One day, perhaps ;)).

I can read The Sandman and just get lost in the story, even after decades and many rereads. 

But I can also view it through a critical lens—these things aren’t mutually exclusive.

Not critical enough or too critical?

As fans, we can get trapped in certain thinking patterns, like:

“My blorbo can do no wrong”-syndrome 

“Characters with flaws are inherently problematic and imply authorial endorsement of those actions” 

“Characterisation and problematic subtext are one and the same” (aka overanalysing and looking for problems where there are none is the death of every story, but failing to see problematic patterns where they are clearly visible is a problem, too).

Don't say anything bad about my favourite character

I think this doesn’t need much further exploration. It’s not my personal way of looking at stories through permanently rose-tinted glasses (I always feel it stalls my experience, but my experience is not everyone else's). Some people prefer that type of escapism, and I’m good with that (although the downside is of course that by not willing to engage with issues, we can unwillingly perpetuate them). Live and let live, ship and let sail. But please, for the love of god: Don’t insult people via their inboxes or messages just because their opinions and preferences don’t align with yours. I’m not going to sugarcoat it or phrase it “nicely”: It’s infantile (and a form of bullying btw), end of.

How can you even like a character who's so horrible? And that author must be equally horrible, too

We have to separate flawed characters, even those who are written to be really problematic, from real-life endorsement of these actions. 

Author, narrator and character are three fundamentally different things, and don’t overlap as much as some people seem to think. 

We can write vile, despicable characters to make a point (for me, Thessaly was always a prime example for this, and I explained why here). We probably hate them as we write them. I don’t know what else to say, but this facet of writing seems to get more and more lost on people, and it’s a worry. Crying for sanitised characterisation is one step away from censorship. We explore what is problematic about people and humanity through story. That’s how we process and learn. It’s nothing new, but it becomes impossible if we can’t write flawed and even disgusting characters. 

Face value…

Since I’m mostly in The Sandman fandom, I often read that its ending is hopeless, and that’s supposedly the entire message. 

It is agonisingly sad, yes. But is it truly hopeless? I personally see it as quite the opposite, but of course that’s my opinion, coloured by my life experiences.

I also get that show-only fans often haven’t read the comics, or at least not the whole arc. And as such, their outlook from what they’ve seen so far (and choose to focus on) has to be different by default. I also understand that many people are quite new to the comics, even if they have read them in their entirety. I’ve sat with them for 30 years, and I still find new things on every reread (and I read it more times than anyone should 🙈), and I still don’t feel like I’ve understood it all. Perhaps because I still haven’t fully understood myself (and it’s unlikely I ever will). If there’s one thing The Sandman isn’t, it’s one-dimensional and easy to grasp in its whole depth.

I just wrote a ginormous meta on it, if you’re interested, it’s here:

Subtext, (not so) glorious subtext

This is where it gets complicated:

We shouldn’t mix up characterisation and story subtext. Overanalysing every line to death will always make us find something that’s “problematic”, when it really isn’t in the wider context of the story.

Zooming in is NOT always a good thing. Sometimes, we actually need to zoom out. 

But subtext *can be* (accidentally) problematic. Even in stories we love. And none of this negates what I previously wrote.

Stories have real-life implications of sorts, and we need to be able to talk about it. That’s where those slightly flabbergasting, hostile inbox messages come in, and I want to expand on that "topic of contention" a bit:

Neil himself confirmed that the Endless basically warp reality, and that this is why, after Dream’s failed relationship with Nada, many black women in his vicinity suffer terrible fates (Ruby and Carla in particular). And that this spell is only broken when he dies, and that it is the reason why Gwen doesn’t suffer the same fate. And said Gwen then gets used as a plot device to basically absolve Hob (who canonically really is a problematic character, whether show-only fans like it or not) from his slaver past. Once again, very clearly: No one is making this up. Neil confirmed it (for the comics, and that was over 20 years ago. It remains to be seen if his stance has changed as we move into that arc in the TV show).

I don't think it is correct to imply that Dream as a character is racist (I've read that, too) because he logically can’t be. He holds *all* the collective unconscious. He is also, strictly speaking, not white. He is everything and nothing, and he shows up in many different ethnicities throughout the whole arc, depending on who looks at him. But Neil played with a subtext here (reality warping due to a bad relationship which then affects everyone with similar physical traits) that will read very differently to a black person than it reads to a white person, and we have to understand why that is an *extremely* slippery slope.

Plus, we are supposed to see Hob, who *was* a racist at some point (you can’t not be if you’re a slave-trader—it’s impossible by default) as redeemed. And yes, he *does* regret deeply, good for him (and if I were saying this aloud, you would hear the sarcasm in my voice, because it is indeed all about him. We are to sympathise/empathise with him and his character growth while there isn’t much mention of the people he maltreated). But also: it was a black woman who basically forgave him (with dialogue that personally makes me cringe). And that black woman who offers forgiveness is not truly a black woman—she is a character written by a white man. And as much as author and character are not the same (see above), there is an inherent sensitivity in that power imbalance that we can't brush under the carpet.

I don’t think Neil is racist. Probably quite the opposite, and I can even see that his intentions were good from a storytelling point of view. BUT intention and impact are two fundamentally different things, and telling the story this way (comic version) betrays blindspots only white people have. Just like women have blindspots when they tell stories about men, and men have blindspots when they tell stories about women (and there are a few of those in The Sandman, too). And and and…

As storytellers, we can’t always speak from lived experience. It’s impossible. And that also means we occasionally make mistakes that look bad in hindsight, even if our intentions were good.

I guess the proof is in the pudding: What do we do when people who *have* that lived experience tell us it looks bad? If they inform us why it is hurtful, plays into old stereotypes etc?

Are we willing to listen and yield (both are the foundations of allyship btw), or are we insisting that our viewpoint as someone *without* lived experience is right? That lived experience extends to all lived experiences (sex/gender, sexual orientation, age...), and from all we’ve heard from Neil so far, it seems important to him to rewrite what he sees differently today. Whether they’ll always get it right for the show—we’ll see. At the moment, it looks a lot better than in the comics, and certain issues are already being handled with a lot more sensitivity, but a few problems remain.

Pushing back on criticism that comes from people with lived experience is problematic—I’d encourage us to think about what it looks like if a white majority in the fandom is basically saying that the opinions of POC are essentially “overreactions” (and yes, that happened).

It’s complicated. The Sandman was written in a different time, and I think we have to distinguish between things that weren’t really problematic at the time but have aged poorly (again, Thessaly springs to mind, and I have lived experience as a queer person during that time, so I can see it in context while at the same time acknowledging that I would make changes to bring it to the present day), and things that were always a problem due to blindspots. They were a problem in 1990, and if they don’t get changed, they are still a problem today.

This fandom is generally so much more open and nicer than others I know. But that doesn’t mean it’s infallible, because it’s full of humans. 

Nuance is sorely needed, in both story interpretation and interaction between said humans.

(tagging @violetoftheendless )

[hellsbellschime]

Hello, here to give you some context about the people attacking you: Lina is a person who is obsessed with Rhaegar x Lyanna, has been around the fandom for many years and is known to always start fights with every corner of the fandom, especially with people who don't think Rhaegar is a saint who did nothing wrong ever. Went as far to call Rhaegar a ephebophile instead of a p*dophile, as if that somehow makes it okay. Regarding her IRL opinions, she's very weird about Putin and issues regarding POC, which is often expressed through her opinions about fictional characters/races/families and has even expressed transphobic opinions. I've encountered her on twitter countless times; I'm neither pro-team Green or pro-team Black, yet she has been so awful and hateful that she's been called out numerous of times and most people know they should avoid her, both on twitter and tumblr. Brideoffires previously known as yendany has also been cancelled on tumblr before, I remember them from my old political tumblr days, they were called out as being anti black, racist, fetishiser of gay men and a weirdo overall. These people, along with the rest of "targnation" have been around the fandom for a long time, they will attack anyone they disagree with, including fellow Dany and Targaryen fans who don't "stan" Daenerys hard enough to their liking. If they don't like you, it means you're doing something right. I've always liked Daenerys, as a POC myself I've had issues with how racist her storyline is written, which has nothing to do with Daenerys, but the writer himself - and I got attacked for it and accused of being a "white bitch" which just puts me off the character and fandom and is extremely toxic and deranged. "Targnation" is known for being awful, attacking actors, being extremely racist and sexist and borderline transphobic, considering their treatment of Emma D'arcy when the HOTD casting was announced. This attack on you isn't because those people care about social justice, they've just branded you as a "Dany anti" and because they can't give a proper response to your metas and videos, they'd rather attack your personality and accuse of you things that aren't true, as they often do. All of this goes beyond fiction; war, racism, xenophobia, antisemitism is so much more important than "stan wars". It's not something you get to use as a "gotcha moment" because you disagree over fiction. It's absolutely disgusting. This fandom disappoints me every day. Anyway, keep being you, keep sharing your opinions, keep learning and growing. You're a gem in this fandom of awfulness, you're so well-spoken and smart and I hope you don't let these people get to you with their harassment and bullying because they've chased away a huge part of the fandom already. Sending love <3

Oh boy, well hello my fellow white bitch! And yeah, I don't know who this is nor do I really want to find out given what's been going on, but none of this is particularly shocking to hear. Obviously there are unhinged stans in every fandom, but it sucks when they make everything suck for everyone else. And thanks for the support but no one needs to worry about me, I survived the fucking Klaroline fandom so some kooks I've never heard of going nuclear on me is fairly old hat. It generally takes a lot for me to internalize this kind of fuckery and the only thing that actually bothers me is being misrepresented, and I feel like I made myself clear so at least people can form their opinions of me based on reality rather than the unhinged rantings of people who don't know me and who I don't know. Ultimately however people act is on me and not them, and stuff like this really is analogous to someone screaming "bitch" out of their car window as they drive by so it is not something I take personally, it is just weird because, due to the nature of social media, doing that can actually lead to some other people being like "wait what maybe they're right?"

[dancingisdangerouss]

Hey guys…I just wanted to make a post about something I’ve dealt with a while and am stressing about again, and felt like I needed to get off my chest because my anxiety is gnawing at me. 😩

NOTE: I am not trying to call anyone out directly and don’t want anyone to be harassed, so I’m not going to be specific. I never want any blatant hate doled out on my behalf, and appreciate that being respected. I can message you if you want to know the fic I’m talking about, but only if I trust you’re not going to be cruel to them about it.

So, I’ve been writing fanfiction since probably middle school, and I’m no stranger to having my works copied. It’s happened with a Harry Potter fic I did, two Marvel ones, and even a Naruto one (lol. I was 12 okay). It’s also happened to my friends, too, so I like to think I’m pretty good at being able to spot this kind of stuff.

It’s very upsetting to me because I don’t like confrontation and it makes me nauseous and induces panic attacks, but I also don’t want to just not say anything…But I’ve noticed multiple fics on AO3 that were very similar to mine. For the most part I’ve let it go because they had enough differences to not be overt, so I don’t want to be nit-picky about similarities and upset anyone.

But there’s one I noticed that is…eerily similar. Al is very much the same in his mannerisms and speech. A lot of the words and phrasing/slang are the same as mine (I don’t coin or own any words obviously, and I see words that are uncommon like mine used in fics and don’t think much of it, but this one has a lot of the same wording as mine).

It also has scenes that happen the same way, and has Al being all hot and heavy over Reader being vulnerable to him while she’s sleeping (and even having her have night terrors that excite him because he wonders if they’re about him), and mentions her being coy and shy and how much he loves her fear and dominating her.

I also asked some friends to check it out and see if I’m just overreacting or being paranoid, and they agreed they noticed all the same things (and even some things I hadn’t noticed).

There’s just…too many things for me to ignore, and I feel sick because I HATE pointing these things out to people. I don’t want to be accusatory and whiny like “YOUUU COPIED MEEE” because I know people sometimes do things subconsciously, I just…would prefer people credit me if they knowingly use inspiration from my fic.

Just venting because Penny is Very Anxious and on the verge of a breakdown because she can’t handle confrontation. Please shoot me.

[lottiebagleywritesobx]

Girls like you

THE POOL

JJ Maybank wasn't really sure why the Y/L/N family had hired him to clean out their pool when summer started. They seemed to like him around the hotel when they went for meals but he wasn't exactly qualified, he wasn't complaining though, they tip well and it couldn't be that hard.

His only problem was Y/N.

They never got on well. She was friends with Kie in her kook year, who even went as far as to dub her 'the only kook who doesn't make me want to gauge my eyes out', so she knew the pogues from around although they'd grown apart the girls shared no bad blood and always stopped to catch up when they saw each other around.

He was in the middle of raking the leaves from the large pool when he saw her. She was crossing the garden from the large mansion, clad in a bikini with sunglasses perched on the end of her nose. JJ hates how good she looks, her curves perfectly on display and a confident aura around her.

She's got headphones in, he notices as she saunters closer.

"Hi princess," He smirks, watching as she rolls her eyes

"I'm not your princess. How long are you gonna be?" She questions, settling onto one of the sun loungers next to the pool

"An hour or so," JJ states

"Well, could you do it quietly I'm hungover and I wanna just relax," She states, slipping the second headphone back into her ear before he can reply.

He cleans, unaware of her watching him from behind the glasses as she sips on her bottle of cold water. She would never tell anyone but watching him work, his muscles tensing and untensing under his vest shirt, a light sweat from the hot summer day on his skin, she couldn't help herself from thinking he looked good.

He would definitely admit to John B that he thought she looked fit. Her breasts spilling out of her bikini top a little and the barely there thong bottom's high cut making her legs look excruciatingly long. He'd probably make some crude jokes about hate sex being way more fun. He wouldn't admit though, to finding something very comforting about her presence, and finding the way she hummed along to whatever she was listening too adorable.

It's a further 40 minutes, JJ is trying to work out how to get the pool vaccuum to turn on, when her phone rings loudly.

"Hey Sare," Her voice speaks. JJ figures quickly it's Sarah Cameron, the pair are practically inseparable and the whole island knows it.

He half listens to her side of the conversation, more out of boredom than interest.

"No, babes, I love you and all but I really don't wanna. The last million times I've seen Rafe he's been so weird and creepy and I don't wanna be alone with him,"

JJ doesn't know why the comment angers him so much. Why does he even care if Rafe is clearly trying to pull her? It's none of his business. Yet, he can feel his blood boiling at the thought.

"No Sar, if I go and you have to stay with me then you can't go and be with Topper,"

She's silent for a few minutes before sighing "Fine. Fine, I'll come. See you in a minute. Bring me some shorts, I'm in the garden and can't be arsed to go upstairs and find some. You owe me forever,"

JJ wants to scream. Wants to tell her she shouldn't go if she feels uncomfortable around Kelce. He wishes Kie were here, maybe she could talk her into staying where she felt safe.  Maybe she would be able to explain why JJ even gives a shit.

"Maybank," She states, he looks up, trying to act like he hasn't been listening. "I'm going out. You'll be the only one here," She informs

"Okay," He nods.

"My keys are on the kitchen counter, lock up when you're done and I'll just grab them from you at the hotel,"

"All right," He agrees

"When will you be there?" She questions, looking at him like he's an idiot. He groans internally, obviously she needed to know that.

"Tomorrow, 2 until closing,"

'"I'll swing by around 4," She informs. He nods, trying not to stare at her as she lets her hair down from the ponytail it had been in, shaking it out. A car honks outside and she turns, walking up the garden towards the side gates, turning a few metres away,

"Oh, there's an envelope on the kitchen counter with your tip in," She adds

"Thanks. Goodbye princess," He smiles,

"Still not your princess," she shouts back, turning and disappearing round the corner.

THE CAR

JJ felt a lot more in his element when her dad had called him asking if he could fix her car. He hadn't specified it was his eldest daughters, and JJ knew the family owned 7 cards despite only 3 of them even being able to drive.

JJ recognised it though, a white convertible porsche, he'd seen her driving it around before. Wether she was blasting music with the roof down singing with Sarah, picking up a take out from the wreck, driving around in the middle of the night, she'd even given Kie a lift to the Chateau before. He realised that he always seemed to notice her presence.

He was working in the family's garage, the bonnet popped open and grease all over him. It was an easy fix, if a little fiddly.

He jumped out of his skin when the door burst open.  He is immediately taken aback by how good she looks. Clad in a tight black skirt that is ridiculously short, heels and a tight black V neck top with a lace trim around the neck. Her hair falls in bouncy curls around her shoulders and her makeup looks perfect. He would have sworn on everything he'd never seen anyone look so beautiful.

"You're a boy," The girl states.

"Good job noticing that one princess," JJ smirks, she rolls her eyes.

"I have a date and Sarah is being so unhelpful, can you help me pick a top?" She questions, he gulps, nodding.

"Okay, so this is option 1,"

"It looks good,"

"Right. But is it sexy? Do you look at me and think I wanna slam her against a wall and rail her?"

His eyes widen a little, that's one way of putting it he decides.

"Look, I'm your families help, I shouldn't be answering that,"

"Like I care Maybank," She groans, exasperated.

"Okay fine, I look at you in that and I think I wanna rip your clothes off,"

"Okay good. Option 2," She starts. JJ is shocked when she pulls her top off in front of him, without even turning around. He turns around, although not without taking a mental picture of her boobs being pushed up in a red lace bra. "Who knew you were a prude?"

"Just respecting you princess," He comments

"You've seen me in a bikini, what's the difference?" She questions, he stays silent having no quick comment to respond with. "I'm dressed," She states

He turns back around, she looks good, a forest green top made of satin.

"The first one is sexy, that one is cute,"

"Thanks JJ, oh, and hey, thanks for fixing my car,"

"Uh. Yeah, anytime,"

THE SUMMER HOUSE

JJ was happy to paint the summer house. He claimed to his friends it was just because they way over paid and tipped big. In reality it was because for three days straight he would get to catch glimpses of her. And he did.

He saw her when she swam in her pool.

He saw her when she played in the garden with her little sister.

He saw her when she cloud gazed with Sarah Cameron.

The best times he got to see her though, were when she would bring him stuff. Every so often she'd knock on the open door to the summer house, sometimes with water, sometimes with snacks, a few times even with a beer. A couple of times she stopped and made small talk, one time she even smeared paint on his cheek and giggled as he chased her through the garden.

He enters the kitchen, used to how the family worked now. An envelope of money waiting on the kitchen counter, they always seemed to be coming and going so it was easier.

He was shocked to see her in the kitchen, she's scrolling on her phone sipping on what looks to be an iced coffee

"Oh, hey JJ," She smiles

"Hey, I'm done," he informs, she nods, watching as he picks up the envelope "So, I'll be seeing you around,"

"Did you want a lift?" She questions, he looks at her slightly confused "I just noticed your bike wasn't here and it's kinda late to be walking back. It's a long walk,"

"You really don't have to princess,"

"Honestly, it's fine," she assures, jumping up and grabbing her keys before heading towards the garage.

She wasn't sure when she stopped hating JJ Maybank, wasn't sure when she started noticing little things like the blue in his eyes and which snapback he was wearing and how tired he looked. She wasn't sure when the sight of his bike in the driveway started giving her butterflies.

"So where is your bike?" She questions, the roof of the car is down and the wind blowing through her hair as she pulls out of the private estate her home is on.

"Didn't have enough fuel to get to yours and back," He shrugs

"Why didn't you just-" She cuts herself off "Shit, I'm so sorry. That was insanely rude, I wasn't even thinking and-" He chuckles, watching as she splutters and blushes

"It's okay. Life is different on the cut I can understand how a kook princess wouldn't get it," He shrugs, she nods, still not sure what to say.

"Y'know my life isn't perfect," She comments, he scoffs, unable to help himself. "I'm not kidding. It's privileged as fuck, I know that, but it's not perfect,"

"Go on then princess, what's so shit?" He doesn't mean for it to sound so harsh, he's genuinely curious

"My parents, they have basically planned my entire life, down to where I'll go to college, what sorority I'll be in, where I'll work my summer internship, who I'll marry, where I'll get married, which big kook house I'll live in,  at what age I'll have to give up my career, which has been decided for me by them, to start trying for babies. It's 24 by the way so in 8 years. My whole life is decided and I don't want it. I wanna go on a trip around the world and surf and travel and explore. I wanna fall in love and get my heartbroken again and again until I find the right guy. I wanna live in a New York apartment and I wanna see the world. I don't wanna marry Rafe Cameron just cause our mothers are friends. I mean he's literally scary and harasses me and acts like even though I'm 16 I shouldn't have a choice cause one day he'll father my kids. And no one gets it, none of my friends, not even my best friend. The only person who ever understood why it was so shit was Kie and then she left, she left and lives her life and it's fun and exciting and anything could happen. I don't hate her for it but it fucking sucks that she left me miserable. I'll be miserable living my planned out life and then I'll die. Yeah, I have money and that's fucking great, but my life is far from perfect,"

JJ sits in a stunned silence. He's not really sure what to say. Their problems were very different but hers were just as shitty. He feels like he's seeing her in a whole new light.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't tell people that and we barely no each other," She mutters, not wanting to look at him

"Where would you go first?" His question surprised her

"On my fictitious surf trip?" She questions, he nods "Europe, Spain I think,"

They sit in silence the rest of the way, it's not awkward though, both of them feel comforted by each other presence. He gives her instructions to the chateau.

"We are probably gonna drink some beers and smoke. You wanna stay? You could crash here and drive home in the morning," JJ offers

"I can't. My family are having dinner at the hotel. Thanks though," She smiles gently

"Yeah. Uh, I hope it's not too shit. Thanks for the ride princess,"

He climbs out of the car, his friends who sit on the porch immediately calling out to him, they're all laughing and teasing him about his lift home and when he looks back he almost thinks he sees a look of longing in her eyes before she's reversing out of the chateau.

THE BOAT

"Can you fix it?" She questions. JJ Maybank has never seen her look nervous before.

It was only 6:30 AM when she'd started banging on the door to the Chateau, tears in her eyes and panic on her face hoping JJ would be here. John B had pulled the door open, half asleep and groaning a little at the bright sunlight. He'd let her into the small home and disappeared to wake JJ up. John B opted not to put too much thought into the way the minute her name was said JJ leaped out of bed and shoved into the living area, the way his hands cupped her cheeks to see if she was okay, the way he was calling her princess as he tried to calm down her hiccuping tears.

"I can fix it," He confirms. They're standing on the deck of her families boat "It's an easy fix princess, okay? don't even worry," He speaks in a comforting tone

"Thank you JJ,"

"No worries. It'll take me a while, you got anywhere to be?"

"No. Well yes, a breakfast thing with the Cameron's but it's at my house and I can't exactly show up without the boat so,"

"So you're hiding out here all day?" JJ questions

"Well, I don't wanna intrude. I can go and hang out at the beach,"

"Don't talk nonsense, you can hang here. C'mon, I need to be down the bottom with the engine, you can sit and entertain me,"

She watches intently as he works, now that he's not working at her house he hasn't bothered with a shirt, instead just wearing shorts and his infamous red baseball cap. He glances at her occasionally, her makeup streaky from crying and wearing a short white dress.

"So, wanna tell me what happened?" He questions

"Not really," She admits, he nods and she sighs before beginning to explain"Rafe wanted to go boating late and then it all went wrong and then we got the boat to the nearest dock, hence why we are in the middle of nowhere, and he said he was going to call someone to get a lift and it was rainy so I was waiting in here.  It had been a while so I went outside to check on him and he was gone. I didn't know what to do. Dad would kill me for breaking the boat, do I just kinda figured I'd walk to yours and hopefully you would no how to fix it. Then I realised I have no clue where you live so I walked to John B's and hoped for the best,"

"He just left you in the middle of nowhere alone?" JJ doesn't know why he's so mad, they were hardly even friends

"Yeah. He texted me to let me know it was cause he's already in shit with his dad and didn't wanna go down for breaking my family's boat," She shrugs, JJ wants to go and find Rafe Cameron and beat his skull in.

"Look, a girl like you deserves someone who would treat them a million times better than that,"

"I always thought you hated me," She admits

"So did I, until this summer I kinda did," He shrugs

"What changed?" She asks, the question is so vulnerable he can't help himself from looking at her

"You aren't what I thought you'd be," He admits, she nods slowly

"How should a girl like me be treated?" She questions

"Like they're the only thing on earth," He's not really sure why he's so openly telling her how he feels but it feels too late now

"Is that how you'd treat me Maybank?"

"Girls like you don't date boys like me," He shrugs, turning quickly back to what he's doing, not wanting her to recognise the disappointment on his face.

THE PARTY

It was no secret her family hosted a big formal party on the 10th of July every year, her parents wedding anniversary. JJ had waited the party the last 2 years and this summer was no different, he'd even managed to get John B and Pope a job too.

His heart had stopped when he saw her, her dress was the exact shade of blue as the sky and flowed beautifully down to her feet, her hair curled with the front pinned back, her makeup beautiful. She looked like an angel approaching him and god why did she have to look so perfect.

"Hey JJ," She smiles, grabbing a glass of champagne from the tray he's holding "Could you do me a favour?"

"Of course," He agrees, expecting some job that needed doing for the party

"If you see Rafe and I'm on my own..." She trails off "I'm trying to avoid him, after the other day,"

It's three hours into the party when JJ grabs her hand, pulling her along behind him and away from Rafe who is clearly trying to catch her alone. He pulls her into a small cupboard slamming the door closed behind him and locking it.

"What was that about?"

"Rafe," He shrugs, he didn't outwardly say he'd been watching her all night to make sure he could look out for her. He also didn't say he would have been watching her all night even if she hadn't asked him too.

"JJ, you know how your coming over next week to fix that one  door that you can't open from inside the cupboard?" She question

"Yeah," He states, peering out of the key hole to see if Rafe is still looking for her

"Well, this is the cupboard,"

"Shit!" He shouts, pulling away from the door to face her. "Shit, it's your parents wedding anniversary and I got you locked in the cupboard,"

"It's alright," She shrugs "They hate each other most the time anyway,"

"Call someone to let you out,"

"Where on this dress did you think there was pockets, you call someone,"

"My phone is in the twinkie,"

"The what?"

"John B's car," JJ sighs. "Fuck princess, I'm so sorry," He groans

"It's fine. Sarah will come looking for me eventually," She shrugs. He nods, watching as she sits down on the ground, patting the space next to her.

He obliges, sitting next to her, knees touching in the tight space.

"You look nice tonight, I like the shirt and tie," She compliments, he can feel himself blush and is glad the cupboard is dark enough she probably can't see it.

"Y'know what you said on the boat the other day?" She questions, he immediately knows what she's referring too "About how girls like me don't date boys like you,"

"Yeah," He confirms

"Why is that?" She questions quietly

"I couldn't make you happy princess. Your parents would hate me. I couldn't take you on the fancy dates you're used to. You wouldn't be happy,"

"My parents love you, they think you're resourceful and hard working. I hate the stuffy dates figure 8 boys take me on," She informs, he laughs a little at that. "Besides, you already make me happy. I'm just saying Maybank, if you don't wanna date me just say it, don't try and put it on me,"

JJ isn't really sure how to react. How to explain he desperately wanted to date her, wanted her to be his girl and wanted to shower her in love and adoration. He isn't sure how to tell her that by inadvertently telling him she wanted to date him she had made him the happiest man on earth. He's not really great with words and it all feels too hard to say.

So, instead, he turns slightly, taking her face in his hands and pulling her to him, his lips crashing against hers and somehow she knows everything he wanted to say.

[sleeping-on-cracking-ice]

Hi, I have an idea for Chishiya if it's okay! He have something going on with Kuina's friend, and after she didn't came back from a game everyone thought that she died, but she actually just left (she didn't want to become too attached to Chishiya maybe?) and 1 month later the militants found her and Chishiya is rather cold toward her because she left him without saying anything. Happy ending if possible, please

Thanks for requesting, here you go. Enjoy! 🥰

Home | Shuntaro Chishiya

{Alice In Borderland Masterlist}

Character(s): Chishiya (ft. Kuina, Niragi)

Summary: You run away from the beach, but soon were found by the militants again. Chishiya, your closest companion, is mad when you return for not saying anything.

Warning: mention of sexual harassment, swearing, grieving, heavy angst

Word Count: 4.8k

*reader is female

Author’s Note: I’m sorry if the ending is a bit cliché, but I really enjoyed writing this one!

“I’m so sick of this shit Kuina. She’s gone. What the hell do we do now?”

Chishiya and Kuina sat on the top roof of The Beach. Their legs were dangling over the edge, above the groups of people who sang their hearts out over the loud music. They couldn’t be down there themselves, not that night.

“It’s so unfair,” Chishiya grumbled, rubbing his stained eyes with his hands. “I hate how everyone just moves on like nothing happened.”

Kuina sniffled, trying to control her runny nose as she listened to Chishiya’s pained words. “Look Chish, it was going to happen to one of us three at some point, it just happened to be Y/N.” Kuina tried to keep her voice stable, but the occasional voice crack gave away her sadness.

“Yes I know, but it still hurts so fucking bad.”

You hadn’t returned from your game. You hadn’t returned back to Chishiya and Kuina. You hadn’t returned home.

*******

“Oi Y/N! Slow the hell down!”

You heard Kuina yell out to you from down the hall. You laughed at her desperate attempt to catch up while Chishiya walked at his own pace watching you guys.

“Why are we suddenly having a race?! We have all day to get down to the pool!” Kuina called out. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to face her. “I want to get down there before the sun comes out and everyone wakes up! Don’t you want to have it just for us three for a while?”

“I suppose so,” Kuina breathed out heavily.

Chishiya’s lips pulled up into a smile as he watched you too bicker. “Oi you two. Be quiet. People in these halls are still sleeping,” he said.

Kuina turned to Chishiya and pulled a mocking bored face towards him. “Well you’re fun this morning,” she muttered in a sarcastic tone.

All three of you made your way to the pool on the bottom floor of The Beach, tripping and shoving each other playfully while giggling. You hardly ever did this together, because Chishiya always slept until noon, so you were excited about having the pool to yourselves before the sun came up.

When you reached outside, your chatters and the sound of your bare feet on the pavement broke the silence of the night. You hoped that Hatter kept the windows closed to his suite because you knew if you woke him up he would come down and beat your asses for being awake so early.

You looked over towards the pool that was still lit up with underwater neon blue lights from the night before. You’d think that they would shut all the lights off at least to save a bit of electricity, but apparently not.

Kuina had thrown her towel down carelessly on a nearby deck chair and was now chasing after Chishiya, who powered his short legs to try and escape her.

“Chishiya you’re going in the pool! You can’t chicken out forever!” she yelled as she caught up to him and wrapped her strong arms around his waist.

You could tell the years of martial arts training paid off for Kuina as she lifted Chishiya into her arms like he weighed nothing. “Bitch, put me down! I don’t want to go in the pool! Why is that such a crime!?”

You doubled over in laughter as Kuina held the cat-like blonde in her arms, him squirming more violently as she got to the side of the pool.

“Goodbye!” she yelled and dropped him into the pool. His screaming cut off as he was submerged into the water. You walked over and placed your stuff down, listening to Kuina and Chishiya bickering in the background.

It was a shame that you were planning on walking out on these guys. But in a world like this, the bad moments really outweighed the good ones.

“Alright you’re next!” you heard behind you, making you snap out of your short daze.

“Wait, no!” you bellowed as Kuina repeated the same thing she did with Chishiya. This time, it was his turn to laugh at you.

“Jesus christ woman. The fuck got you so lively this morning?” you laughed at Kuina, who gracefully dived into the pool to tease you two.

You felt Chishiya tuck his chin on your shoulder gently, taking you by surprise. “I guess we got to act as happy as we can now. Our five day visa ends tonight.” Chishiya mumbled to you two.

The air around the three of you suddenly became stiff at the mention of the games. You lifted your hand and placed it on Chishiya’s damp hair. “It’s alright, it was a fun and relaxing five days while it lasted,” you said cheerfully.

“Don’t say that like as if you’re going to die,” Chishiya scolded you. “You won’t die, none of us three will.” He was trying to reassure himself that he would come back from his game with you all happy and healthy waiting in the lobby for him. He hoped for that exact reality every time he had to leave you to restore his visa. He panicked even when you were ten minutes later than usual. It was a constant battle with anxiety when it came to caring for you in a world like this.

But unfortunately, while Chishiya was willing to fight against the growing anxiety that came with loving you, you didn’t want anything to do with it.

You and Chishiya have been as tight as two peas in a pod since Kuina introduced you. Kuina and you happened to meet at a diamonds game that was further in the centre of the city which was where you appeared in the game. She was nice enough to take you back to The Beach, because she thought that your intelligence and gentle personality would be useful.

But the plan of using you for Kuina and Chishiya’s own personal gain went out the window when both of them built a strong connection with you. They tried so hard to stop it, but in the end, they decided to make you an addition to their little manipulative games with the others. A mysterious duo became a peculiar trio.

That’s when Chishiya began to notice other things he felt.

He began feeling an irrational attachment to you, always wanting to be around you and always wanting to make sure that you were safe. You began noticing his additional little quirks as well, as soon you both fell for each other, without the other knowing of course.

Kuina obviously knew, as she was incredibly observant. She always kept her mouth shut though, wanting to see the drama play out in front of her. It was entertaining at times.

“You two are cute,” she gushed at you and Chishiya, holding a cheeky smile on her face.

Chishiya tucked his face into your neck to hide his blush, but it only made your heart skip a beat. “Shut up,” he mumbled into your skin.

You sighed heavily as he kept his place there, snaking his arms around your waist. This was honestly normal. The closer you’ve gotten with Chishiya, the less shy he’s been to convey physical affection. You loved and hated it at the same time, because you knew the more he made your heart race, the harder it would be to leave him.

At times you thought you’d rather deal with his cold and untrustworthy personality, like how he was when he first met you. It was easier to dislike him then, but now that his real personality has shown through, you realized how good of a person he actually seemed to be.

Chishiya never became close to someone, because he knew it would be hard to pull away when he needed to use them for his own survival. So he’s just always chosen to keep everyone at a distance.

You on the other hand, you hadn’t fallen down the deep whole of caring fully for someone in this world, but you knew you were about to stumble off the edge.

While Kuina and Chishiya waited to renew their visas, you waited to run away from the stress of waiting for your friend’s potential deaths.

******

You, Kuina and Chishiya trudged down the steps that led to the lobby. Hatter had called everyone to meet there a few minutes ago to prepare for the games. Hearing the familiar bell ring throughout the so-called paradise made your heart weaken. It was calling you to your end, every single time.

The trio of you took your usual place towards the back of the lobby, leaning against the cement walls and looking over everyone’s heads. How weird it felt, that by the time you gathered here next, the number of people would reduce by a couple dozen. It made your stomach sink in remorse. You truly were nothing more than soldiers fighting a war that wasn’t your own.

You looked down at your own feet, beginning to feel guilty about your plan of running away. The people you would abandon, the friends who would miss you. And even they can’t come find you, but you knew it was for the best. For both you and them.

You felt something tickle your hand. You glanced your eyes down to see that it was Chishiya, trying to sneak his hand into yours as Hatter began his booming speech across the crowd. You looked up to the blonde’s face, but he was focused on Hatter. You smiled sadly and accepted his hand into yours, earning a soft squeeze from him.

Kuina placed her head on your shoulder, leaning closer towards you. It was as if they knew, and they were trying to get you to change your mind. You felt tears building up in your eyes, but quickly wiped them away with your hoodie sleeve before anyone noticed.

Damn. You were never going to forget them.

******

Chishiya sat in the leather lounge in the lobby. He had just arrived back from his spades game. Wasn’t too difficult, for him at least.

Only now he was stressing inside, leg bouncing up and down on the carpet quickly. He knew you wouldn’t return for a good while, but yet he always was worried about you. No matter the situation.

Niragi didn’t help the situation. He strolled over earlier with a few of his militant mates and roughed Chishiya up for a bit. He honestly wasn’t in the mood for their antics, so he didn’t fight back much. They eventually got bored and walked away.

There hardly was anyone in the lobby, it was strangely quiet.

Chishiya looked towards the entrance to the lobby where a small group of people just walked in from. He recognized them as the group Kuina was placed with, so he stood up from his seat and quickly made his way over.

He managed to spot Kuina walking by herself at the back of the group. Chishiya let out a relieved sigh and strolled up to her. “Thank god you’re okay,” he said, giving her a short hug. “You too,” she replied.

They walked back over to where Chishiya was sitting beforehand and sat down. “Do you know who Y/N went with?” Kuina asked.

“No idea, I had to leave with my group before hers,” he answered.

They both sat in silence for a while, hearts squeezing in on themselves from tension.

As group after group piled into the lobby and moved to go to the back pool to celebrate their wins. While their hearts and minds were overflowing in joy of surviving, Chishiya’s and Kuina’s slowly became heavier and heavier with grief.

One of the last groups finally came back, being a few hours later than everyone else. Chishiya searched the small crowd for your familiar face, but didn’t see it.

“Kuina,” he started with a tense voice. “Don’t say it,” she immediately cut him off. “Don’t say anything Chish. She’s fine, I know it.”

That became harder and harder to believe the later into the night it got. Soon enough, no one was left in the halls and the lobby, either gone to bed or stayed out in the pool area.

Chishiya didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t feel anything. His body was tired from the constant tensing, the constant anxiety.

He stood up abruptly and looked towards Kuina, who had her head in her hands. He gave her a sad smile, and reached his hand out to help her up. “Come on, let’s go to the roof like old times,” he smiled, fighting the tears building up in his eyes.

*********

When they reached the top of the building after climbing many annoying flights of steps, Chishiya tilted his head back to feel the wind blow around his head. He opened his eyes and saw the galaxy of stars above him. ‘So weird,’ he thought to himself. ‘In a horrible place like this, such beautiful things can still exist.’

Kuina and Chishiya sat on the edge of the roof, feet dangling off the edge. Complete silence took over them. Neither of them knew what to say.

Kuina broke her gaze off the staggering height of the drop below them and glanced at Chishiya. He was staring straight ahead of him, hoodie covering his face so she couldn’t see what he was looking at.

“Chish, are you okay?” Kuina asked quietly, leaning forward to try and see his face. It felt strange to her, having Chishiya be completely silent for a change. Usually he would be making a smartass comment or a teasing joke towards her or Y/N. It was like the happiness in him had drained out.

He didn’t answer for a short moment, but then he turned his head to look at Kuina in the eyes. Kuina was taken back.

Chishiya had pools of tears cascading down his pale face, mixing with the sweat that he still endured from the game. He let out no sobs and no cries. Just dry, empty tears running down his cheeks like doves flying down the edge of a cliff.

“No, I’m not okay,” he muttered to her. “This fucking sucks.”

*******

It had been a few weeks since your death, not that there was a huge difference at The Beach from your disappearance. Everyone carried on like normal, everyone except Kuina and Chishiya.

They became secluded, more than usual. Kuina spent most of her time in the hotel’s gym, trying to distract herself from everything that happened. She wanted to get stronger so she could win games, she knew that’s what you would have wanted.

Chishiya however, he wasn’t taking your death well at all. Chishiya lost his fire, his headstrong attitude and snappy remarks. He kind of disappeared himself, but only his body stayed.

He felt stupid at times. What would he have expected? Of course you died, knowing his luck. He began irrationally thinking, believing that the world took you away because he didn’t deserve someone as warm-hearted as you. He felt cheated almost. It was like the universe had you dangling on a string in front of him, and when he finally had the courage to reach towards you, it yanked you away out of his view.

When he was having particular hard days, he would lie on his bed in his room for hours, not bothering to get up for food or the bathroom. He felt numb inside, he honestly thought nothing would be able to hurt him anymore, because he’s endured the worst of his emotions.

The mirror in his room was smashed, due to his own doing. He broke it a few days after the incident, screaming into the stuffy air of his room and throwing one of his makeshift knives at it. He watched in pain as it crackled and crumbled under the impact, seeing his own reflection fall into a million pieces, much like how he was feeling at that moment.

He had never experienced this kind of hurt before. He always thought other people were being dramatic when they broke down crying after hearing their significant other or friend didn’t make it back to The Beach. He thought that it should’ve been expected, that they shouldn’t be surprised that it happened. But he guessed you never know what another person is feeling unless you experience it yourself.

But god, does he wish he didn’t, because it hurt more than a thousand knives to his cold, stone heart.

**********

One day, Chishiya was standing on the edge of a balcony that looked over the entrance to The Beach. He enjoyed standing up there because he loved the spectacular view of the ocean. It reminded him of his real home, when he used to ride his bike down to the beach with his friends and swim in the water for hours. He missed life when it was so easy for him.

The breeze was cool on his skin, giving him goosebumps. It felt refreshing and somewhat free, a small taste of bliss for him. His eyes were shut as he listened to the crows screech in the distance and the ocean waves hit the shore. The sound of nature rang in his ears, making his endorphins swirl in his brain.

It was a good break every now and then from the usual melancholy emotions that swarmed around him, keeping his happiness locked down in chains. While he was on that balcony, actually breathing fully and normally for once, his demons decided to let loose of the chains that held his sweet happiness trapped.

Chishiya opened his dark eyes and glanced downwards towards the bottom level and saw something that caught his eye.

A group of three militants seemed to have a young woman in their grasp, one of them being Niragi himself. Chishiya watched as they tried hard to hold the smaller person at bay, as she was thrashing around trying to escape.

He frowned, confusion painting across his face. That girl, she looked oddly familiar.

Niragi told the militants to bring her around the side of the building, where a small alley was located beside the entrance. Chishiya knew that’s where the militants dragged people to kill them off, they were planning on killing her.

Chishiya wondered what she did that was so bad. Hatter hardly ever gave the order to kill someone, unless the situation was betrayal or anything worse.

He moved himself along the balcony towards where the commotion below him was occurring. He wanted to hear what they were saying, because who knows what shit Niragi gets up to without Hatter knowing. It seemed a little too suspicious to be dragging someone to their death in broad daylight, especially where everyone could see.

Chishiya heard slight fragments of what they were yelling: “You thought- … run away?!” Niragi screamed in his psychotic voice. “Let go of-...! …could have just left me there!”

Chishiya felt his heart drop. That voice, it was all too familiar. How could he have forgotten what your voice sounded like.

He lifted his head and stared forward in shock. That couldn’t be right, you’ve been dead for weeks!

He thought for a second, trying to come to a possible conclusion with the horrific yells in the background of his mind. How is it possible you could still be alive?

That couldn’t be you, it just couldn’t be. Chishiya shook his head and chuckled. “The fuck am I thinking? Great, now I’m hallucinating. No one told me that was another stage of grief.”

He turned his body to walk back inside to look for Kuina, until he heard the young woman getting attacked yell again, this time, clear as day.

“Chishiya! Kuina!”

That was it. That was definitely you.

Chishiya lifted his legs and began sprinting towards the staircase inside. There was no doubt in his mind that that wasn’t you. The way you said his name was too real to not be you.

He tripped and stumbled down the stairs, almost falling flat on his face on one flight. He had to get there before you were dead, for real this time.

As he pushed his entire body weight against the entrance doors to the hotel, he pulled a small knife out his white hoodie pocket. He had made it out of glass from his broken mirror, considering that Hatter wouldn’t allow him to have his own weapons.

Your screams were much more prominent now, more desperate sounding and more fearful. The sound pierced through Chishiya as he made his way quickly around the side of the hotel.

There you were, being pinned against the wall by two militants while Niragi held the barrel of his rifle against your chest, right over your heart.

Chishiya yelled out, which probably wasn’t the best idea considering his current situation. It was three tall men with guns against a small, frail man with a makeshift knife.

“Chishiya! The fuck you doing here?” Niragi asked with a cheeky smirk on his face. God, Chishiya wanted to punch him so bad.

“Let her go Niragi, you don’t want this to get ugly do you?” Chishiya threatened, holding his glass knife out.

Niragi laughed along with the other two militants. You still struggled against their grip, seemingly more calm with Chishiya distracting them.

“How cute ‘ey? Little blonde twink coming to save the love of his life, how sweet of you.” Niragi pressed, pushing his rifle harder against you just to push Chishiya’s buttons.

“If you haven’t noticed Chishiya, she ran away! She never died like you thought she did! She ran away from The Beach, she ran away from you!” 

His words were like bullets in Chishiya’s chest. He felt belittled and mocked, he hated it.

“Shut up! She wouldn’t do that!” he yelled frustratingly.

“Oh really?! She wouldn’t?! Then explain why we managed to find her strolling the streets of Tokyo! Not a scratch on her, and she seemed smart enough to run away when she saw us.”

Chishiya’s scowl dropped on his face. He looked at you to see if you would deny it, but you had stopped struggling against the two men and hung your head low, not looking into his eyes.

He shook off the hurt he felt from this fact. He had to focus on getting you away from Niragi before he took time to think about other things.

“Niragi please. Just let go of her, I promise I’ll make it up to you,” Chishiya begged. He felt small, never has he ever begged for something in his life.

“Hmm? How though? I was just about to have some fun with her before I killed her off. Why should I give that up just because you want me to,” Niragi spat at him. Your eyes widened in fear and you thrashed around in the grip that the militants had on you, panicking from Niragi’s threat.

Chishiya thought for a second. He would honestly give anything to bring you over to him. “My cards. You can take credit for every card that I collect for a couple of months. If Hatter or Aguni asks, just say I’m slacking. I’ll take any punishment they throw my way.”

You saw Niragi consider it before lowering his weapon off of your torso. You breathed out heavily in relief.

“Fine, but don’t expect me to do this again. You can’t bribe me with everything you sneaky fuck.” Niragi growled. The two militants let go of you and followed him out of the alleyway and into the entrance of The Beach.

You leant against the wall, staring at Chishiya as he stared down at the ground below him. The air between you two was tense. You could tell he was mad, Chishiya was always silent when he was incredibly angry.

“Chish, I-”

“Don’t talk to me. Just come.”

Don’t get me wrong, he couldn’t have been happier to see that you were alive and well. But the betrayal he felt from the fact that you ran away from him greatly outweighed his happiness.

He walked briskly ahead of you, you didn’t dare walk next to him or too close to him. He was scaring you a bit, and you wanted nothing but to sprint to your own room and hide from the rest of the world.

You were embarrassed and also frustrated you were caught. Trust Niragi and his cocky ass to find you.

Chishiya stopped in front of his own room, opened the door and gestured for you to walk inside. You hesitated before slowly making your way through the door. You hated how tense it was, it was the complete opposite of what you usually felt when you were around Chishiya.

You sat down on his bed, sitting in an awkward position and looked towards Chishiya. It was complete silence as he was frozen at the door, back towards you and holding the door handle harshly.

“What the fuck Y/N?” he mumbled. It was almost inaudible, but you could hear pain in his words, which made you immediately feel guilty.

“What the fuck was that? You ran away!?” he turned and yelled at you, tears building up in his eyes.

You flinched as his loud voice. You had never heard him yell in anger before, usually he kept his calm. You looked down to the ground, feeling your own eyes fill with hot tears. You felt like you were back in high school with your parents screaming at you for running away from home.

“I THOUGHT YOU DIED!” he shouted louder, “DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN YOU PUT KUINA THROUGH?! HOW MUCH YOU PUT ME THROUGH?!”

You couldn’t breathe. Pain and suffering dripped off his words like rain on a roof, coming together and creating an atmosphere that held air that was unbreathable. You suffocated on the oxygen, making you choke and cause tears to begin running down your cheeks.

“Why!?” he cried. “Why did you run!? There was no reason, me and Kuina could have protected you if you were too scared! Why did you think that running away was the only option!?” Chishiya stumbled closer to you, almost tripping over his own feet.

You flinched heavily as he placed his cold hands on your shoulders roughly. They were shaking from trying to hold your sobs in.

“WHY DID YOU LEAVE-” “Chishiya!” you interrupted him by snapping your head up to meet your eyes with his. His face dropped as he saw the sadness behind yours, replacing the wonderful and cheerful happiness that once swam in your eyes like dolphins in a sea.

“I l-love you,” you mumbled out between your shaky breaths. “That was the problem Chish. I-I’m in love with you and it hurt too fucking bad to know that you could disappear out of my reach at any moment. I ran because I didn’t want to watch you and Kuina die!”

Chishiya’s own hands shook violently against your shoulders. He gazed into your eyes which were red and puffy from your tears. They were shining more now than they had ever before.

“You don’t have to leave Y/N,” he whispered, still trying to control his own breathing. “I want you here, next to me. Not out there, because when you’re out there, I can’t be with you.”

You nodded and smiled sadly. Chishiya pulled his hand from your shoulder and cradled your face gently. He swiped his thumb over your cheek to get rid of the tears there. “I love you too, but I can’t be without you.”

A grin crept onto your face as you looked into his eyes. You felt safer than ever in his arms, why did you think of ever leaving?

Chishiya wiped his own tears with his hoodie sleeve and put on a happier smile. “You want to know how pathetic I am without you?” he giggled and held your hands in his.

“I almost threw myself off the top of the hotel the night you didn’t come back. Kuina had to tackle me to the ground to keep me away from the edge.” he laughed at himself.

You chuckled along with him. “Imagine if you did! What a shocker it would’ve been if I came back and Kuina saw me alive after you killed yourself because you thought I was gone!”

You both sat on Chishiya’s bed and laughed at each other. You had to do it, humour is best in times of stress and anxiety.

*********

You opened your eyes slowly, only to be met with the blinding light of the sun seeping through the blinds. You hissed and turned your head the other way.

Chishiya chucked at your reaction, making his chest that was underneath your head vibrate. “So cute,” he muttered to himself.

You pushed your face deeper into his chest and breathed in his scent. It felt good to be back with Chishiya. It felt good to be home.

Author’s Note: oKaY so this ended up being a lot longer than expected. Please send in some requests if you have any! 🥰🥰