#has that person shared other personal info/photos/etc? yes

[sleepanonymous]

I've been flip-flopping about making a post about the recent drama or not. Even if you don't watch this full video, watch the first minute at least. Tank has said everything I want to say but 1000% better.

Also pspspsp US/CAN fans: look below the cut for a Teeth of God tour date leak.

No California dates is veeery interesting to me, because that Telegram Admin was supposedly from Los Angeles 👀 Actually I just realized there are no West Coast dates at all. Closest is Vegas for Sick New World and Phoenix. If that's the case though, they wouldn't return to Chicago either, because the last person who did dox III back in July/August is from Chicago.

Again, take these leaks with a grain of salt. I, on the other hand, have ended up taking over 2 weeks off work this April/May 😅

[fereldanwench]

I saw someone recently ask why their shots weren't turning out how they wanted them to despite being able to support the highest graphical settings, so I thought I could share a little behind-the-scenes tidbit re: my approach to lighting and post-editing in VP in case it's useful.

And for my money, lighting is one of the most important factors in getting a shot that I'm happy with. Yes, a high-end graphics card can absolutely help, but that's just one tool of many that can make a difference.

(This info is probably most relevant to folks who can mod their game, but the overall principle can also be applied to vanilla photomode, too. You'll just have to find good in-game light sources since you won't be able to spawn your own, and it might require a little more finagling with the vanilla photomode exposure and contrast settings. Here are some 100% vanilla shots I took recently that I think turned out pretty decent even with those limitations, just to give you some ideas if that's what you're working with.)

Lighting & Exposure

So referencing the photos above, from left to right:

A purely vanilla shot with ray-trace enabled but no lighting tools

The same shot with lighting tools on Valerie

The same shot with lighting tools + some Lightroom editing

Beefy graphics cards can certainly make a difference here since they'll be able to render more nuanced light and shadows, but as you can see in the purely vanilla shot, that ray tracing on its own ain't doing much when it comes to lighting Valerie. The neon lights in the background are pretty, but she's barely even visible in that dark ass street.

In the second shot, Valerie is in the exact same location but has multiple light sources on her. I mostly use CharLi lights these days, which is a free suite of lighting tools available on Nexus, and the customizable ambient lights in AMM, also free on Nexus.

I didn't think to screencap my exact lighting setup, but I'm pretty sure it was something like this:

CharLi spotlight on the left and right of Valerie, tinted pink/magenta

CharLi spotlight on the upper right, tinted teal

(I think I might have had an orange CharLi spotlight too, but it wasn't visible from this angle)

2 CharLi white spotlights directly on Valerie

Probably 1 or 2 AMM customizable point lights on her face (I like using the point lights at very low brightness to accentuate faces and give them a nice glow)

Now putting all these lights on a character could end up way too bright at the default vanilla exposure, especially if you aren't using any kind of major Reshade overhaul (which I do not).

Instead, I just use the vanilla photomode exposure settings to make a scene really dark and then light it back up with my own tools. (This is also a great way to shoot in areas that might have weird lighting effects, and it can be done indoors or outdoors and at all hours of the day.)

Just a simple example of that in these shots:

On the left, Valerie has a spotlight on her face and chest--It's pretty bright, too bright for my tastes. On the right, she has the same spotlight, but the overall exposure has been dropped down to -90 and the highlights have been dropped to -60 (now it's a little too dark for my taste--If this was gonna be a real shot, I'd build up more lights, but just wanted to show how much altering the exposure can affect a shot).

Post-Editing

As for making further adjustments to colors, shadow levels, sharpness, etc. of a shot, I know a lot of folks prefer to do that with Reshade presets, but... I don't, haha. I did make a basic shader to reduce the green tint of the game, and I use the Cinematic DOF and Real Long Exposure shaders to get a nice depth of field and reduce hair pixelating. Otherwise, all other adjustments I make are in Adobe Lightroom (or Photoshop if I need to make more precise adjustments).

And it's just a personal preference here. I just don't like having to mess with too many mods and menus in-game--I feel like it increases the chance of something freezing or crashing or me accidentally closing out of photomode. It also helps to give me a new perspective to see the shot outside of the game, especially if it's a portrait-oriented shot. Plus, I just like the process. Gives me one more reason to stare at the blorbos for a little while. :3

I adjust each Lightroom preset as needed depending on the color and exposure of the shots I'm working with, but these are some of the more common settings I modify:

I almost always finetune the exposure and shadows/highlights.

I like to do a global increase for saturation and vibrance.

A lot of my presets increase the saturation of reds and blues and decrease the saturation of yellows and greens, but this can vary; e.g. i like the greens to be vibrant if it's a nature shot.

I also usually make the white balance a little cooler.

I love tinkering with the global curves settings to "flatten" the shadow levels.

And I like really crispy shots, so I always increase the sharpness, and I'll usually bump the texture and add some noise, too.

These are all things that can be done in other similar programs/apps or even with Reshade. If you're just starting out, I think using pre-made presets and filters is a great way to go, and as you get more comfortable with the tools, you can start to make little tweaks and edits to personalize the style.

So anyway, there's some of my process! Everyone's got their own, and what works for me might not work for you--Don't feel like you have to take any of this as gospel or work exactly the way I do. But maybe this will... shed some light (ha ha, I'll see myself out) on how to get started with some VP tools. <3

[nicromancytarot]

hi! i am genuinely trying to help people in Gaza but I think I have a question. this is a genuine question, no bad intentions, but I think I have had fake profiles reach out to me in private dms and ask for donations. I was like at first omg yes I'll do what I can for you, but then I looked at the profile and it was really really sketchy. (the message said it was a man, but all the photos were women and there was not much info or interaction). I was busy at the time and I said "well okay I'll check this later", but then the profile was gone, probably deleted.

sorry it's a long text but my question is, how to stay away from ill-intended scams and people and how to better help those really in need? how to promote the right accounts and gofundmes etc.?

I’m so sorry this has happened to you and your good intentions have been taken advantage of!! I’ve been reached out to personally twice now, once on TikTok which provided me with the families account and all of their videos and information for confirmation on there, and another time through my asks on here.

The most important thing is to check the Go Fund Me’s like you’ve been doing, make sure the information all adds up and doesn’t seem sketchy at all, another thing you can do is search up other social media accounts of this person. A lot of people utilising their platform on here are vocal on TikTok and sometimes Twitter too in order to receive the most attention.

The other links I have linked in my “Free the land of Palestina” post are all ones that I’ve seen on TikTok being posted by either themselves or activist accounts, so you can start there if that’s easier - all of those on that page are legit if you’d like to share those.

There is an organisation on TikTok too called The Olive Branch who are actually in contact with the people running the Go Fund Me’s they post and promote, so you may want to find a couple of those families to adopt and post for it that’s any easier for you.

Finally, if they are very thankful, and even surprised that you took interest in there cause, that’s a good sign of legitimacy!!

Good luck anon, hopefully you don’t have anymore of these unfortunate situations come up 🫶🏻

[p-paradoxa]

I feel like there’s a new round of scaremongering wrt “AI,” in that it has gotten so good that AI photos and videos are hard to distinguish from reality, therefore we should all delete our faces off the internet and be afraid to ever post them again.

to be clear you do not need to have a reason to not share your face. you can just not. whether it’s for your safety or anything else. do not feel pressure to do that. in fact I also agree that AI can be dangerous, with how datasets can be used to generate misleading info without regulation, and are used in policing to discriminatory effect.

but these were all problems before and regardless of AI. and I guess I’m a little confused about this particular argument because throughout the entire history of the internet, if someone wanted to manipulate your likeness, or manipulate your words, people did not require AI to do that. but I haven’t seen any recent arguments against Photoshop or any other picture/video manipulation app. hell, just putting your face online could be enough for people to harass you, like turning you into a meme template, no manipulation required. likewise, people have always been able to repost your sensitive photos—like nudes—elsewhere without your consent. and still, people have posted themselves online for decades, which is their prerogative.

I don’t care for AI generated shit but as usual people are acting like it’s a unique new problem, rather than addressing any root issue about why someone would benefit from manipulating someone’s photos. this could be a much-needed conversation about misogyny, transphobia, desirability, etc. in regards to safety. stuff like revenge porn. but in the same way people have skirted around talking about labor and intellectual property when talking about AI, they are continuing to do similarly with… posting photos.

because in the same breath I advocate being responsible with your personal data, I don’t see how this attitude helps people who post their face for work, people who have already posted their face and been attacked without the use of AI, and any vulnerable person who is already concerned for their safety because of aforementioned social issues.

hell, a trans woman was just kicked off this site again by staff. she was flagged even when she just posted her face. and it seems like she wanted to share her face because it gave her joy to. you could argue AI was involved but clearly there’s a pattern of flagging trans women on this website. AI just has the biases of the people programming it. not to “you can’t care about two things at once” but maybe go after the companies and social constructs that are the reasons why someone would be afraid to post themselves in the first place. yet many people here also refuse to engage with topics like transfeminism, but I digress. the reasons why someone could be targeted for posting photos don’t exist in some random vacuum. AI isn’t going to bring about the downfall of humanity Terminator-style or whatever. at least not any more so than countless other tools of patriarchy and capitalism.

(an example of this scaremongering with 20k likes in case someone says I’m making shit up. I fail to see how this phrasing isn’t just gonna make people unnecessarily stressed out. and yes, the video is just an AI-generated bird.)

like… a few weeks? as opposed to all the other times when someone’s life was ruined because they posted a few pics online? maybe AI is not the problem here

[francescameronwriter]

ScamNotSam

A few weeks ago I decided to play with a #scamnotsam  account AKA one of those fake Sam’s who try to friend and chat with fans. Well remarkably the story goes on and I've learned a lot about the scams being used.

To be absolutely clear, the images below are from a FAKE Sam.. not the real Sam and I am in no way implying he has anything to do with this. 

Fake Sam contacted me via Instagram. Now I knew straight away what the deal was, no blue check etc. But I  had nothing to do and figured while he was talking to me he wasn’t scamming someone who is perhaps more vulnerable. So I went along with it. Soon he had me move the conversation to Google Hangouts, I used a google account I keep purely for suspected spammers so no real info attached. I’ve started conversations with a few others since, they almost all want to move to Hangouts ASAP (they expect their Insta account to be reported and banned I guess), some are now trying to get you to move to use Telegram. I will never download Telegram it’s sketchy as hell and run by Russians.  

Fake Sam told me how he really valued his fans etc but his management ran his official SM accounts. He then asked questions, lots of them. Where do I live? What is my job? What company do I work for? Am I married? Have kids? Age? Where have I travelled? Do I have Pets?

I gave bogus info but realistic enough to keep him off the scent. Basically I reckon the info was needed either for identity fraud or password hacking.  I asked for a selfie, so I could be sure it was really him.

Within that same conversation he started telling me that he was feeling something for me and basically trying to play on my emotions. I went along, playing the adoring fan who'd always known she shared a special connection with him. 

I was waiting for the drop a few days in, surely he would ask for money? No this guy plays a long game. When the MPC Instagram account was hacked, he was just as upset as you might expect Sam to be. 

So, after a few days, to spice things up I challenged him, used something he said and told him it proved he was a fraud.  Told him how upset I was and what a bad person he was.

I was not ready for the response. 

I have to admit for a second my mind actually considered he could be the real thing. Why? He initiated a video call with me through Hangouts!!

I admit I panicked and declined but he persisted and when I accepted the call, there was Sam, looking hot as hell in a tank top at the gym. Yes my heart nearly stopped until I realised, he was talking but no sound, then 10 seconds later the call ended.

My logical brain kicked into gear immediately, what I had seen was a video Sam took back in 2019. I've since found it again to verify. This guy was good I had to give him that. How he made it look like a actual video call I don’t know... filming another screen showing the vid maybe?

So I pretended I was convinced, begged forgiveness and as he's such a kind soul I was forgiven. 

All the while he couldn’t share exactly where he was or what he was doing because his management forbade it. Just he was in NZ making MIK, which of course was readily available info on his real Insta account. After a few days of this he suddenly backed up, said he wanted to tell me everything about himself but was afraid of blackmail. His solution, we should do things formally and I was instructed to email his 'booking agent' and request a meet. 

So i used my fake account to email the address he gave and the response asked for my name, address, nearest airport and a copy of my photo id.  I gave fake info and bluffed that for various reasons I didn't currently have a photo id.  Fake Sam continued to message me. I've not had another email but he still messages and asks what I've heard. When Sam posted the picture standing in front of the Agave Fake Sam sent me the picture and told me he was in Mexico (doesn't understand concept of latergram). I'm now trying to convince him that I'll come to London and we can meet before the premiere. LOL suddenly he was busy and had to go... let's see what's next.

I fully expect the 'booking agent' to demand a fee eventually. Just wondering how long I can continue to counter-catfish this dude.  Lessons learned so far... they do some basic research into their character but anyone who knows more than the basics can easily catch them out. They are not afraid to mess with your feelings, the manipulation is very real.  They are after info and no doubt money too. I've seen a huge increase in fake Sams following my accounts in recent days. I’ve had  conversations with a few, most follow the same pattern. I’ve blocked and reported after a short spell though, just keeping this one guy on the hook. Be careful out there folks, it’s not just one scammer, one thing I noticed, they follow the same pattern but the way they speak/write English is very different. We all would love to talk with our favourite big Scottish guy but remember just a little info about you to the wrong person can do a LOT of damage.  I'll keep you posted.

[windvexer]

Give Better Readings: Dangers of Info-Dumping

Part of a series - go to the masterpost to see them all

To Share or Not To Share?

It’s not a bad idea to explain extra information about your divination tool and explore the various (relevant) meanings of the card, charm, rune, etc.

I find querents often appreciate and enjoy these extra explorations, and it can make readings much richer and information-dense.

Sometimes though, readers can get into the habit of reminding themselves about what the tool means by thinking out loud and talking about every possible meaning it may hold.

This becomes a problem when the reader dumps a list of definitions on the querent, many of which are likely irrelevant and which will not be used in the final interpretation. It looks like this:

Reader: “This card is the Queen of Cups. It can mean a married woman, or a person with honesty and wisdom. It can also mean a daydreamer and being really affected by others, like someone who has too much empathy. Sometimes this card can mean a person who shouldn’t be trusted or people who waste money.”

Querent: “Oh my god, so you think my friend can’t be trusted? Is that why she’s ignoring me?”

Reader: ​“No, those are just some of the meanings for this card. I think the reason your friend isn’t reaching out is because she’s more focused on a runaway project that’s taking up all her time.”

Querent: “But you said this card can mean an untrustworthy person, so doesn’t it mean that she is also untrustworthy? Can you draw another card to see if she did anything to me?”

Once you put an idea into a querent’s head, you can't make them forget about it. If you accidentally say something that triggers their anxieties or concerns, you can pretty much forget about the interpretation you actually intended to provide.

You're Like an Interpreter

It's your job to communicate the meaning you find to your client. But your final interpretation can be lost or totally ignored by a querent who has been distracted by irrelevant, even contradictory, meanings you shared earlier in the reading.

It is perfectly fine to stay silent while you work on your interpretation, take notes, or even read a list of card meanings. Even professional readers might still look through the book meanings. After all, it is their intuition about which meanings apply that matters, not how well they memorized card meanings.

If querents want a list of definitions for a card, they can look them up on their own. Querents want the reader to be able to provide an intuitive interpretation about how the card is ​relevant to their question​.

Part 4: Answer The Question (yes, seriously!!!)

Part 6: Q&A Sessions

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

[pinkpruneclodwolf]

boy the only compensation I need are your info dumps bc they are so fucking good, like seriously big brained takes that I adore, I want Yana to hire you bc your so good. like really really good.

ANYWAYS MOVING ONNNNN The OB!Grim idea where Grim consumes Yuu is honestly horrifying??? bc imagine how horrifying/terrifying it would be for the students of NCR to see the one un-NCR like student to get swallowed up by their other more NCR-like counterpart. You cannot tell me that people joke all the time about Grim being more NCR-like than Yuu and that maybe he should take Yuu's place instead or something along those lines. Essentially the two to become one--their jokes becoming a literal nightmare. It would be traumatizing and it would teach them not to joke about things so lightly next time KJHJSHAKJDS

Ah yes Haruno Sakura my beloved. I honestly adore her in a way that I want to punt her across the sun for being annoying JSADGHAJSGD To be honest I do like her its just the way her creator handled her was shitty and undeserved the same way the fandom (*cough* you know the ones) treats Vil. I honestly wonder why people assume that Vil's like that *gestures to the bunch of mischaracterization people has for him* its weird, its like they lost their reading comprehension or something. Kind of freaky but honestly its the internet so there's nothing much we can do about it but spread the correct info to those willing to read or we can reach :/

Also I didn't think much about Grim's design at first but now that you've bought it up I can't stop seeing the parallels Between Grim and the boys because like the boys--those who have oveblotted at the very least--have elements of their suffering seeping inside Grim. We can see that in chapter 6 Leona's feelings of hopelessness through Grim after he recalls what happened. Azul's need for control/strength through Grim's actions during the prologue (his desperation eerily similiar to Azul's breakdown during his chapter), and etc., etc. But what drives this home is Malleus's--Your comment about his wings and him wanting refuge something that Yuu did give him the same way Yuu made Crowley let Grim stay by their side as their partner, their two in one. Its the same way with Malleus--with Yuu becoming his friend--his child of man. Also the fact that Yuu was the one to save them all/guide others into doing so just drives that idea home. And we love to see it

Thinking about the OB!Grim fight is making me think of the ghost camera since we never get to see it in action (unless you include the groovies but even then im not so sure...). What do you think it'd do?

GOOD GOLLY GOOBER THE GHOST CAMERA

Sometimes I forget how intrinsic that lil camera is especially since it might have connections to Mickey and why he's in the mirror!!!

The way OB!Grim moves in that gif kinda reminds me of two kids struggling in a big costume/comforter, it freaks me out thinking that Yuu is in there probably fighting for pieces of themself—

Going off of Canon information, it says that the ghost camera takes a piece of both the users soul and person in the photo and projects them—this could lead to Adeuce using the camera to project what Yuu would do in a situation against an OB.

It serves as way to connect the boys bc we've seen that they aren't that willing to work together without ulterior motives/Yuu being present—what if the whole NRC rallies in memory of Yuu?

Like past conversations between the entire twst ensemble, Yuu, Crowley and co. Instead of magic its the memories they all share that serves to deal damage?

OB!Grim takes double damage each time a memory is played basically while also giving the boys a buff.

I mentioned that imagination is heavy in Twisted Wonderland, so each memory also serves to piece Yuu together? We already came to the conclusion that Yuu was consumed by Grim but what if they lost their body in the process?

The only thing intact is their mind—its why OB!Grim moves so jerkily and the added ob characteristics don't react in some frames, that's Yuu trying to figure out what the fuck is going on while also knowing that Grim is overblotting.

Or they know they're trapped in Grim's body but they don't know where their body is, so each time the other ob characteristics stop or freak out its their minds merging at points because Yuu's struggling.

"I have no mouth, but I must scream" type of situation.

I'm just saying OB Grim scares the fuck out of me.

[marigoldwitch]

Let’s Talk About Elitism in the Witchcraft Community

It always seems to come back to this but I want to talk about witches in the community who give confusing, and often times misguided, advice to new comers in an attempt to separate themselves from the “soft” or “baby” practitioners.

I’m on witchtok (a community on an app called TikTok, in case you were unaware of what I’m talking about) alot and there’s something I noticed about the witches there; something I’m sure alot of you have noticed too. There’s 2 major groups of witches on the app. The ones who post “easy” and “simple” spells and information, and the ones who post up reactionary spells and information.

There seems to be this need for witches who feel better than or more educated (in their opinion) to posts videos in response to or in direct opposition of other witches. Usually these other witches are seen as newbies to the craft. And if they aren’t new (as in they’ve been practicing for a while) they’re considered uneducated or unwilling to learn.

The “why aren’t witches reading books anymore?” and “I think it’s them being more worried about aesthetics than actually learning.” comments are frustrating and reveals a huge disconnect and sense of privilege within our community. I’ve also seen comments / videos specifically criticizing the popularity of spell jars in recent years. The funniest thing though is that a lot of them are suggesting doing charm bags instead... as if that’s not just another form of a spell jar.. except it’s in a bag... not a jar :/ They want so badly to be “other” and “better” that they’re actually giving advice that’s basically saying “hey instead of using X container to hold your spell, have you tried using Y container instead?? If you read books and not just get your info from Tik Tok blah blah blah.” As if they’ve suggested something grand or much different than what someone is already doing.

Let’s Talk Privilege 

First lets be clear that privilege doesn’t mean you haven’t had “hard times” in your life. And being privileged in one way doesn’t make you privilege in every aspect. You can have class privilege while also experiencing hardship in relation to another aspect of your life. I am white, I have white privilege. I’m also a poor high school drop out. Which means I don’t have class privilege. It’s important that I make this clear because I know some people are gonna identify in someway with one or more of the under privileged groups that I’ll be talking about and that’s normal. That doesn’t mean that you can’t also identify in someway with one or more of the privileged groups that I’ll be talking about. 

Why don’t you just read more books? / Why don’t you just experiment with more tools, supplies and options like crystals, candles, herbs, tarot etc? / Why don’t you just invest in better tools and supplies? 

This falls under class privilege. Not everyone can afford to spend money on these things. “Well the library is free” not everyone can afford to spend time on these things. And I know, to someone who has the money and has the time, these sound like excuses to just not work “hard enough” (which we’ll get into why this statement is ablest in a minute) but it’s legit the reality for a lot of people. Let’s also remember that public libraries in underfunded poorer communities are.. well under funded and don’t offer the same selection that a well funded library would. Also the cost of going to and from that library (or a much better one with a better selection). Personally, I live in what is known as the bible belt and my local (underfunded) library has 5 books on witchcraft. 3 are reference books and can not actually be checked out. The other 2 require a 10 dollar deposit to check out. I kid you not. You have to pay to check out those books.

I saw a comment that said “crystal grids and crystal magic is very beginner friendly and easy, why don’t more witches do this?” And I want to shake them and scream “crystals cost money you doodoo head!!” LOL.

Supplies and tools are expensive. Yes, there’s plenty of information online about how to use what you have on hand... and those same witches sharing cheap and easy alternatives to supplies and tools are also sharing cheap and easy alternatives to spells and rituals. Hence how spell jars became so popular.

“They just don’t want to put in the effort” / “They aren’t working hard enough” / “They’re just in it for the aesthetics”

This falls under ableism. 1. Expecting other witches to match your energy and effort is hella ablest and you should stop. Not only is it unrealistic to assume we’re all on the same page, it’s unhealthy to project your own expectations on to {most likely} complete strangers just because you share one interest [witchcraft] with them. 2. Some people are visual practitioners (whether they’re ND or not) and so they need to and work better with seeing what they’re doing. It’s obvious that the type of witchcraft lots of ND people use is the type that is overly criticized in our community. (ND = Neurodivergent)

Physical disability is also something to keep in mind. Not everyone is physical able to do all the things you can do. Personally I experience hand tremors. Basically using an herb bundle to do a smoke cleansing is a huge ass mess for me and is more headache than it’s worth. So I opt out of smoking cleansing that way. It doesn’t mean that I’m not trying hard enough or that I’m not putting in the effort to make it work... it means I have a disability that makes it more difficult and I’ve found other ways to do these cleanses.

Also, witches are allowed to like pretty things. Like pretty things and valuing the beauty in your practice is all perfectly fine. There’s nothing wrong with wanting your space, yourself or your practice to look “pretty.” 

I Need To Mention Cultural Awareness

Another reason something might not make sense to you is because it isn’t for you, literally it has nothing to do with you or your practice and so you’ve chosen to put it down rather than mind your business. That’s really all I can say about this as I practice a fairly common form of folk magic and the practice, as well as the culture in which it’s derived from is open. So there’s nothing I do that’s really considered for specific cultures only. I’d rather someone else with more experience talk about this in more detail. 

Misguided Information and Superiority Complex 

When sharing information and experiences it’s probably better to do so without needing it to be in reaction to someone else’s information and experiences. I don’t think there is anything wrong with sharing other forms of magic or witchcraft. I think most of us want as much information to be as easily accessible for as many people as possible. The issue comes from only sharing this information and experience because you think the oppositions is/are wrong. Not because you want the help people learn. And actively putting down certain information because it was shared via social media, while also insisting that your information is the actual correct information.. while also sharing it on the same social media platform.

“Don’t believe everything you see on the internet.... except me. You can believe me.” Is what it feels like. And I think what gets to me the most is the amount of UPG that is sprinkled into a lot of the information that these “I know better” witches share. Thinking you know better or know more because you’ve been doing it longer or doing it different, doesn’t actually mean you do. 

I’ve said this before: No one is sharing their entire practice online

“Why are you only doing spell jars?” why do you assume that the only time they practice witchcraft is for a video / photo that they post online? 

Better yet, why are you demanding they share more than they’re comfortable with sharing? Why do you feel entitled to know everything about their practice? 

Just because a witch’s Tik Tok, Instagram, Tumblr etc is only filled with pretty spell jars and aesthetic photos of teas, doesn’t mean that’s their entire practice. That’s the part they’re willing to share with the world. And even if it was their entire practice, why do you care? Why is it your business? When did they ask you to tell them what you thought of their practice?

In conclusion

Before you make that post or make that video about how X witches aren’t doing Y thing right because I did it Z way, remember we’re all different. Times change. And something being popular doesn’t mean it’s not effective or useful. Something being mainstream doesn’t make it bad or stupid. And witchcraft becoming more and more modernized doesn’t mean it’s losing it’s roots or that the next generation of witches are gonna be “sissy babies with nothing but a bunch of pretty jars.” and even if they are, it’s non of your business.

[pinoy-culture]

before I ask my question, I just wanted to say thank you so so so much for keeping up your blog and consistently giving out information where its readily accessible!!!

maybe this will make me sound like an idiot but to preface, I’m a mixed filipino american. My mom is filipino and some chinese and my dad is some sort of european and puerto rican. i was wondering, in your opinion, do you think it’d be okay for me (eventually) work with diwata and anitos? And how can I start? Ive been trying to communicate with my ancestors and I’ve been looking for books to one day buy (im extremely broke so your blog and any filipino witches i come across is all the info i can get) but i honestly have no clue where to start other than with my ancestors (weird dreams lately but nothing ancestor related i think). i took a DNA test as a gift and it pointed, predominantly, to the Western Visayas so im assuming i should study more on pre-colonial Bisayan culture (my lolas from iloilo so it makes sense i guess) but i also know that “blood quantum” is a colonizer concept so i dont wanna rely on it too much :/ sorry to ramble but pls help lol

First, I'd like to say thank you for following the blog! It really does mean a lot to me to hear from others over the years on how much my blogs have helped them learn about our history and culture.

Now as for working with our diwata and the anito, that is completely ok. The whole blood quantum thing among some Filipinos I honestly don't agree with. As long as you have a family member who is Filipino, you are Filipino regardless of your "percentage" and of how you look. If you have Filipino blood in you, the ancestors are there with you. Even if you weren't raised within Filipino culture or a Filipino household because your parents never brought you up in it, or you are an adoptee like some I've met over the years. Your ancestors are your ancestors regardless. They see you and know you and that is all that matters.

Now there really isn't any book focused specifically on reviving our precolonial beliefs and practices. Yes, some did survive and some even blended in with a form of Folk Christianity in the Philippines. You can see many of the older practices and beliefs still alive, but they have been replaced with Catholic imagery and Saints.

But, in regards actually believing in and worshiping our old deities, doing rituals dedicated to the deity, or even some rites of passage like the Tagalog first menstruation rite of passage, or making carved figures dedicated to the diwata and anito, or performing maganito/paganito or atang to the diwata and anito, majority of Filipinos don't do this, or even know it.

So for being an Anito Reconstructionist, which is a label I personally use for my spiritual beliefs and others have adopted, there really isn't a book for it. A Reconstructionist in other ethnic spiritual paths, such as the Celtic, Roman, Aztec, Kemetic, Greek, Norse, etc., are those who look at historical records to try and piece together what was once practiced and believed in prior to Christianity. Over many years, these different spiritual paths have eventually come together, formed a community, and have resources like books and teachers. They have had the time to do all the research and put together a more formal spirituality based on those Pre-Christian beliefs and bringing it to the modern day where they have hundreds to thousands of people who have gone back to those beliefs. With some, they have even created temples, shrines to their deities, and even have celebrations.

Unfortunately that is not the case for us. However, due to the growing interest in our precolonial beliefs and practices over the years, I can see Anito Reconstructionism growing within the next several years. It already has, with many people actually trying to learn more about these beliefs and our old deities. The amount of people of people I've seen and talked to who have expressed their interest to reclaim these precolonial beliefs and practices is nothing compared to 10 years ago when it was hard to even find one or two people who did.

It is why I've been writing this book for a few years now dedicated to helping others in wanting to reclaim our precolonial beliefs and practices as a starting point in their research. For now though, I always recommend those who are starting to simply just read the historical texts. Grab a notebook and write down notes. Organize your notes into deities, rituals, how to make an offering, any prayers to a specific deity, how to set up an altar, etc.

Seeing as your family is from the island of Panay in the Western Bisayas, like my moms side are from, I would start with looking at the Bisayan precolonial beliefs and practices. A really good reference is reading Francisco Alcina's History of the Bisayans (1668). Volume 3 is available online in English which you can find here. Volume 3 goes into a lot of detail in the beliefs and practices. The Boxer Codex, if you are able to get a copy of the English translation, is also really good reading material.

Getting Started:

In terms of getting started, keep in mind that there is no one monolithic belief system or practice in the Philippines. Before there ever was a Philippines, we were different nations with different beliefs and practices. It is important to know your ethnic groups beliefs and practices and know their history. For example, I am Bisaya (Akeanon specifically) and Tagalog and that is what I work with. Others who I know follow the Bikolano, Kapampangan, or Ilokano beliefs. Though there are some similarities, each ethnic group had their own set beliefs and practices.

I often tell people that you can't just mix and match between them. For example, though I work with both the Tagalog and Bisayan pantheons, I wouldn't dare do a ritual offering to both a Tagalog or Bisayan deity at the same time. It's always separate. You also can't combine 2 similar deities together from different ethnic groups just because they share similar attributes. It's just rude and disrespectful.

Start out small. Set up an altar dedicated to your ancestors. If you have any family members who have passed, put a photo of them on the altar. Leave offerings of rice cakes such as suman, food like chicken adobo, or even a cup of drink such as tuba, lambanog, or even Red Horse beer. But if you can't get access to an alcoholic drink either because one you are a minor or 2 it's not available where you live, you can simply replace it with a non-alcoholic drinks like coconut juice. Get a coconut shell or a seashell to either place these offerings as bowls/plates or even use them to put your kamangyan or incense.

Then start researching how our Bisayan ancestors worshiped and practiced. Study the history and read historical accounts, books, and articles about them. Write down what you have learned on these precolonial beliefs and practices and reconstruct or revive them. This is what Polytheistic Recinstructionists do. I have listed links to these texts here.

Ask questions to your family, particularly your elders. See if they know of anything or if they can share some traditional practices and beliefs they know of have heard of. You would be surprised how, despite some families being really religious, many still believe in the spirits, do some form of ancestor veneration, believe in omens that are being told to you by the ancestors or spirits, etc.

If you can, try to go back to the Philippines and see your family's ancestral home, see where they grew up, etc. Ask about family stories and folk stories. For example, my mom grew up in Aklan and has always told me stories of the aswang and certain omens. She also constantly talks about the mischievous "little people" who play tricks on you (for example putting something down like your keys and then it goes missing, until you find it again somewhere else). In the Western Bisayas, they are known as kama-kama. There is also a story of how her grandmother's cat visited her during her wake. The cat was missing for years, but it came back and stayed sleeping on top of the casket for days before it left. My mom told me that it was the cat paying their respects to her grandmother.

Keep in mind also and acknowledge our indigenous communities who have kept their beliefs and practices. Don't try to take them into your own. I have seen people cherry pick things from the Manobo of Mindanao or the Kalinga in the Cordillera, which is just disrespectful. Many of the IP, though some still have kept their beliefs, it isn't the most important aspect to them. What they are most concerned about are other issues such as losing their homes due to occupation by oil or logging companies, other settlers such as the Tagalog and Bisayans (especially in Mindanao), getting targeted as "rebels" by the Philippine military and often getting killed. But, by cherry picking beliefs especially of the IP groups, it's just disrespectful.

I will be teaching classes on Anito Reconstructionism soon and will have my first class possibly at the end of the month or next month. I decided to do these classes seeing as there is a growing community who are interested, but don't know where to start. I'll be doing a proper announcement on these classes real soon so look out for the announcement and hopefully you will be able to join!

[ptitelidio]

“Black and White Contrast” a rivetra theory

Hi Rivetra fans, actually this is my first post on tumblr and I hope you will like it. Just to say a few words before beginning my rivetra theory, I ship Rivetra sooo hard but I like and respect other ships. Please if you get to see this post and like or share my opinion, an answer would be so cool! 

PS. Sorry for my English, I’m not a fluent speaker, but I try my best :) enjoy!

First, basically I called this post ‘Black and White contrast’ because I found out that the relationship between Levi and Petra is like this, a contrast, in many fields.

To show this I will use photos of manga panels, of the anime and Petra’s song, the light of two wings.

Let’s begin with the song. The first opposition we can see is in Levi personality; Petra describes Levi like that “Your sterness always stems from gentleness And I felt a warm light behind those harsh words“, basically she sees his true nature, behind the darkness, there is a light, that’s what she says. 

Now the other contrast is between the painful and the happy moments she went through:          “ I recall plentry of painful things.. But I made it to where I am , Free of doubts.. Sharing smiles and laughter along the way “

Now she says: “ Tiny feathers gather one by one Forming a white wing Fragile lives are lost one by one Leaving behind a black wing “

That’s when we get to read something with ‘black’ and ‘white’, here she talks about two wings, a black and a white. The white being composed of feathers (analogy with soldiers lives lost one by one), and apparently she talks about a black wing left behind... we’ll get to see more info about it further on. But it seems to be ralted with death, isn’t it?

“ Though a bird may be born to soar across the skies I’m sure it won’t be able to fly well with only one wing But you will shoulder the determination of all that is white and black And guide everyone to great distances beyond the walls “

She says that a bird can’t fly without two wings, so the black and the white ones. And he will ‘shoulder the determination of all that is white and black’, in other words the determination to fight of the deads and the living is something he has to carry on. She is talking to Levi, and says that he is the one to guide everyone beyond the walls, 

Then, she finally says before dying: 

“Don’t forget that you have the light of dual wings sprouting from your back                                                             And if I were to give a name to the light I felt…yes.. it would be… Hope..“

So once again that the light of dual wings (black and white) shows that he carry the spirit of the deads and the living, I repeat this on purpose because you will see that the symbolism of the contrast has not been chosen by chance, but on purpose. 

The second other point is that she perceives that light as hope, obviously we understand why, Levi is considered as the humanity’s greatest, so he’s the most expected to save the Eldian people. 

Now.. let’s show the black and white contrast elsewhere. 

Do a black and a white wings ring a bell?

Yup... exactly. And I’ll prove that they can symbolise Levi and Petra relationship. They can also show many other relationships in the SC but here, and with the song, it takes a different dimension, like thir relationship was like a black and white wing = black -> death, sadness... and white -> light, hope, or life

Petra is dead and Levi is alive,

Petra sees light inside Levi, whereas he grew up on a dark place (underground) and frequented bad people everyday (criminels etc...)

Now let’s focus on the anime...

What do you notice in this passage? This was when they were going to the former Survey Corps HQ with Eren. 

Petra’s horse is WHITE and Levi’s is BLACK, here Levi’s one does not seems so black but you can check on other photos in the Internet and you’ll see that he’s actually black, but now because of light and shadow it’s a bit light but whatever.

So, you probably notice that nearly every horse is colored in brown but not Levi’s, Petra’s and Erwin’s. Some other horses are colored in light brown but it’s not like them three, the colors are strikely different. And in the manga the horses were all brown basically, so why this change of color? Not for nothing obviously, the great messages remain in little details..

This photos shows that the horse are basically all brown.

Another contrast is Levi and Petra’s physical appearance, they are obviously different. He is black-haired, she is blond (ginger in the anime but the contrast stays with light color and dark color..) even their eyes in the anime are different but that’s not the essence of the theory, that was just a remark.

Now look at the Petra’s and Levi’s scene when she died and he looked down at her:

Isayama pictured the contrast in dark and light, notice how Levi appears in the light part of the grass and Petra in the dark one, she is dead and he’is alive. And bigger than that, there is also Levi’s Wings of Freedom emblem on his cloack, a double contrast where the white one is in the right and the black one on the left. Petra is on the ground, Levi in the air. They complete each other every time.

The contrast is even more striking in this panel:

The position of the panels for comparison, the position of the heads and eyes, Levi looking down and Petra looking up. The contrast in their hair is also emphcised here. Don’t you notice something else? If no, look at the Wings of Freedom emblem I put...

Yes... Levi is at the left (black wing) and Petra is at the right (black wing)... the analogy is here for those who searched for it.

And once again, their life status, one alive but painfully sad and the other dead but with an unfulfilled dream and she didn’t get the chance to confess to Levi, I quote:

“ And so.. I will die.. believing that.. Oh….how i wish this would last… But…it seems like my time is up… I have…one last thing…..I would like to tell you..                                            No… Nevermind…It’s Nothing….  “ (Petra’s song)

Let’s continue. 

Remember, we said that Petra tought Levi was the hope of humanity’s survival (she says it in her song). Now, did you know that Levi thought exactly the same of her? I will show it to you, and that was basically implied on Petra’s last scene. 

We all know how Petra put trust over all other things, work team was very important to her. The sentence that we remember the most of her is “trust us”, in her last scene -- when she and her team were riding horses and the Female Titan was hunting them -- she said that exact sentence to Eren. 

PS: It is written in French, but you can check it in English on your own if you want.

And everybody knows that Levi didn’t know if it was the good choice whether to put his trust on his comrades or to just rely on his own strengh. Well, on that day, Levi had a strong proof that he should believe in his comrades. 

Here: Petra: “Captain?!”, 

Levi: “He’s a real monster, I know that very well, not only because he has Titan abilities... no matter how strong he force with which it is immobilized, no matter how resistant is the cage in whic he is held. Nobody will ever be able to bend his will” 

-> So what does Levi say? He considers that Eren will to fight titans can’t be bend, in other words he is like a monster, ready to do anything to kill his enemies. But basically, Levi’s stance is that NOBODY can’t change his mind. He was sure of that.

And guess what happens? Eren hearing that from Levi wanted to prove that he was not a monster, he had enough. 

Eren “ I had enough. I don’t want to be treated like a monster...”

And the phrase that Petra told him definitely convinced him to do the choice to trust his new squad.

Now look at Levi’s face... he’s startled by Eren’s decision. Yes, he who was so sure that Eren will transform, Petra’s insistence to trust his team proved Levi wrong. That’s why he was so surprised. That scene and Levi’s expression is even on the anime, if you want to check it out.

Well, nobody before succeeded to do this: make Eren change his mind, he’s usually the one to ignore Mikasa’s advices even if he cares a lot for her. Petra, even if she was not so close to him, actually succeeded this task. This startled Levi. Who could change a monster’s mind? Yes, the one to carry hope for humanity. Actually in the anime, EVERY soldier carries that hope obviously, but in that precise moment, Petra was the hope Levi wanted for humanity. 

This reminds us of the song, when she says that she though Levi’s light was hope, actually she was also hope, like every one of her comrades. Now, Petra had that same light, hope. 

Oh and remember that panel from Chapter 112:

Yes. “Hope for Humanity’s survival” and beside what character? Petra. Everything is linked lmao, Isayama is a pure genius.

And now that I read this panel alone, it’s like Petra could have said these lines ‘I did it... because I believed he was the hope for humanity’s survival...” in other words, I sacrificed my life for Levi because I thought he was the hope for humanity’s survival. It could fit VERY WELL, I don’t think this is a coincidence because she said the exact same thing in her song...

PS: The Wings of Freedom can represent many pairs in AOT like Erwin and Levi for example, but Petra and Levi formed the wings of freedom too. That’s not a coincidence if Erwin’s horse was also white like Petra’s one, and we know that Erwin convinced Levi to joined the SC the day Ferlan and Isabel died. That day, Levi developed the Ackerbond with Erwin when the latter stated, with his federator charisma, that we can’t get to know the future etc. So Levi had the Ackerbond with Erwin so that’s quite obvious to justify why they can represent the wings of freedom, but what was Petra for Levi apart of a squad member?

Yes, she was special for him whereas he didn’t have the Ackerbond with her, and that’s why she’s even more significant, his blood didn’t play a role in his relationship with her. The only answer I find is, simply, love.

[phoenixyfriend]

Yet Another “Deidara is Related to Naruto” Fic Concept

Okay so you know how Deidara is the only person in canon to share Naruto and Minato's highlighter yellow hair? And there's all those fics where Dei is Naruto's half brother?

So let’s flip that a bit.

(Once again with help from @firebirdeternal​)

Thought being this: Minato was an Iwa infiltrator's mission baby, and Dei is Minato's ludicrously younger half-sibling who ends up in Minato's care for hand-wave reasons.

Ends up screwing the whole plot because Minato and his team have to pass on the Kannabi mission due to Infant Acquisition.

(Minato having to deal with "Explosions!" the Toddler is... really funny. Kakashi and Obito don't have a Dramatic Death-based falling out they just have to bond over babysitting the world's least safe child.)

I have two (2) ideas on how Deidara ends up in Minato's care. One is more of a shitpost than the other.

We’ll start with the Serious Drama idea.

There was an Iwa nin that went undercover in Konoha at some point, slept around a bit, got someone pregnant, and dipped before they had to take responsibility. Said Iwa nin was aware of the kid, but also like. Undercover. And also a dick. And like sixteen.

Anyway, Minato's mom never told him about his dad beyond "he was a jerk who ditched us, I don't have photos," and then died on a mission when Minato was relatively young, so Minato didn't know just WHERE his dad was from.

Fast forward a solid twenty-five years or so, and that Iwa nin has gotten married. Iwa nin is now early forties, married a somewhat younger woman (thirties), and caused a pregnancy, this time with the intent to stick around.

Unfortunately, Iwa nin is a shitty husband, and his wife only realizes this most of the way into the pregnancy, and can't just divorce him, because she's clan (the husband is not), and that sort of thing has Social Consequences. So she does something risky... and fakes her death.

And then proceeds to go to Konoha, because she knows about Minato, even saw a pic and got his name once because her husband got a little tipsy once and talked about it, and admitted that he'd gotten a buddy in infiltration to snap a photo a few years back.

And so Deidara's mom sneaks her way across the continent, and dies shortly before or after arriving in Konoha. It’s somewhere the dad won't follow if he realizes she's alive, and because what little she's heard about Minato at that point is generally not terrible. The war hasn't ramped up enough for him to pull The Bullshit, so all she has is the info that the infiltration buddies got her husband.

Definitely lives long enough to provide a name and basic info on who the relative is, but dies before Minato gets back from a mission.

Alternately, Jiraiya is the one who does the intelligence legwork necessary to figure out all the connections and then drops Baby Deidara in Minato's lap because Family is Important to orphans like them but then also does nothing to help because he is Jiraiya.

AND NOW THE CRACK OPTION

So most of the How Babies Happen backstory is technically the same, but Deidara arriving in Konoha is not an intentional situation, but rather a sealing mishap.

As one does.

Kushina just wanted to use a seal to locate other Uzumaki survivors and Minato figured he'd test it first since his chakra is less volatile and whoops.

Minato: Hey, maybe I'll find out who my dad is!

The seal was supposed to just give them a general direction and distance. Like "36.2 miles, 32.3 degrees east of north. 73.9 miles, 2.5 degrees south of west." etc

It was not supposed to reverse summon An Entire Baby.

Note, Deidara’s exploding chakra is a kekkei genkai that I'm saying he got from his mom because Minato doesn't have it, but the hands are likely the kinjutsu. That said, I want Minato to be like "Ah. Hand mouths. That's... can someone get Tsunade please?"

Kushina: I'm not an expert on babies, so I could be wrong, but is this normal??

Kushina: I deeply hope that was a thing the baby already had before we accidentally pulled it through seal-space.

Kushina: His hair is like yours? Maybe he's like a cousin or a nephew? Minato: I guess??? Should. Should we figure out how to send him back? His parents must be freaking out. Kushina: Uhhhhhhh [handwave reason to keep the baby]

The scene HAS TO boil down to Kushina going "Wait shit are we parents now?"

Minato: No! I mean, I--I want to, yes, eventually, but I wasn't planning on anything this soon and really we should get married first and also I think this is technically my brother and--

I had two ideas for why they wouldn’t immediately try to send Dei back, and Birdie offered one, but here’s the best option IMO.

Deidara's chakra blows up the seal before they can figure out how to reverse what they did. Before they can even analyze what went wrong.

They kept notes but something something spilled ink idk. They gotta start from scratch.

Equally likely: They kept notes but they're basically grad students and those notes were all done in a caffeine-fueled 36-hour Coding Binge and literally not even Master-Sealer-Master-Codebreaker Jiraiya can decipher what the fuck they were doing, let alone them.

Frankly they just can't unscramble this egg so they have to just Do Their Best

They have to get a blood test done by Tsunade or Oro to figure out who this kid even is. The hair helps but??? Whomst are you, child?

And then Jiraiya's like 'Yeah, I know those hands. Kid's from Iwa.'

And the war’s already underway so they can’t admit to accidentally stealing an Iwa child.

There's not really a way to say "Hey we accidentally kidnapped this baby" and still save political face because nobody is going to believe it was an accident anyways so? I guess we just have this baby now.

Probably there’s a name tag on his shirt or something so he’s still Deidara.

Kushina: Minato, seriously, you're old enough to be the baby's dad, just have him call you tou-chan. Minato: But!!! Kushina: We can make Uzumaki babies later, take care of your technically-brother baby now.

Naruto is born and Kushina's just like "How strong are your family's hair genes???"

Technically-uncle Deidara who is like Naruto's older brother is going to be the worst influence on the Chaos baby.

Never let Obito babysit.

Naruto: I want to do pranks. Deidara: I want to explosions. Obito: Seems reasonable. Let's do it!

Anyway, Obito and Deidara never know what kind of ‘friendship’ they had in the other timeline.

Meanwhile, Rin is so ready to help, like she’s not exactly a huge fan of babies or kids, not like Obito is, but she is determined to help and keeps looking up child growth charts and stuff.

Kakashi is terrified that he’s going to break a baby.

Kakashi does not want to hold the baby.

Kakashi does not want to be in the same room as the baby.

Kakashi is going to sit on the outside wall with a sword and make sure nobody hurts the baby, but he will not go near the baby.

Deidara’s like four years older than Naruto and probably Kushina has him hang out with Itachi since Kushina visits Mikoto so often and Mikoto’s already had her first.

Deidara does not like Itachi.

It’s fine.

Being a 'new dad' doesn't excuse Minato from being involved in the war effort but it does change his schedule up enough to miss Kannabi and I stand by this.

[likeawildthing]

Not to be morbid on main, but everyone dies and people are rarely prepared for it. It’s so much easier when you know your loved one’s wishes. So even if you’re a teenager or twenty-three and healthy, I hope this helps you start thinking about end-of-life wishes, because it can happen to us all (both the dying and, rudely, being died upon).

Cremations are an affordable way to subvert the funeral industry, but going this route puts the burden of “the little things” on the family. I’ve learned a lot in the last 36 hours and wanted to pass those things that weren’t on any checklists, because the burden is on you to navigate the process.

Putting this under a cut because it’s so long (although not comprehensive). Obviously some of this is altered because COVID and some is meant to be applicable in some distant, theoretical future when we can go out to lunch again.

Before you die

Think about it, talk about it, write it down

Think about what kind of rememberance you want, if any. If it doesn’t matter, tell people that so they don’t fret about it and grieve in whatever way works best for them.

Communicate now to save your family and friends angst later.

Build an “in case of death” binder, zip drive, google doc with links, etc. Make sure your passwords are up to date so that’s not an administrative nightmare for your loved ones.

Advanced directives. Here’s a great article explaining the types of medical advanced directives and decisions to make before an accident or illness happens, including whether you want to donate your organs.

We lost grandma for about twenty minutes yesteday because we couldn’t find the paperwork and grandpa couldn’t remember where they signed up for services. Death. Binder. Have a death binder/folder/zip drive so no one loses grandma.

Insurance. 

You likely have insurance through work, so consider that. It will also expire if you leave your job.

You can usually get, with minimal fuss, a 10- or 20-year term policy with enough to cover your arrangements and debts for less than $20 a month. Death expenses are anywhere from $5-$20k, conservatively. 

Talk to your auto insurance agent and score a multi-line discount.

Body snatchers. 

If you want to be cremated, talk to a local crematory beforehand and give them your basic information. It can be paid out of your estate (i.e. by your family or a life insurance policy) when it happens. 

Most funeral homes (I believe) require pre-payment. It’s super morbid but there are TONS of heavily discounted grave sites for sale on Craigslist if that’s the route you want to go. 

Here’s a list of certified green burial sites in the US.

Donating your body to science 101.

Memorial service. 

The idea of a “proper” funeral is more or less out the window, especially in the time of COVID. Celebration of life? Religious ceremony (or not)? A picnic at your favorite park? Anything goes, so figure it out now. 

When my sister-in-law died, we had a celebration of life at a non-profit who donated the space and had a poker tournament with her ash tin (she lost). 

Whether you have strong or no preferences, write that down to guide decision-making. 

Memorials. 

Traditionally people would donate money in the event of a death to a charity, foundation, or family account, or flowers to a funeral home or church.

 Family accounts (like for children) are traditionally done in care of the deceased’s bank but online fundraisers are a thing. 

If you have a particular charity you love, add this to your list of wishes.

Food. 

Before COVID it was pretty typical for there to be some kind of meal after a funeral. Will this be a restaurant? 

This is ultimately up to the family but if you have strong preferences (i.e. no church or Italian food), tell people now.

Obituary. 

Writing down the basic facts of your life, hobbies, and accomplishments you want included in your obituary means your family doesn’t have to do a guessing game. 

Plants, animals, stuff, etc.

Do you want your clothes to go to a specific charity? 

Do you NOT want your stuff to go to a specific charity? (Goodwill is terrible!)

Who will get your car (person, donate, sell)? Want to have your record collection to go one sister? Obviously family will divvy up stuff how they like, but write down any special considerations.

Have a plan for your pets (insurance, vet info, guardianship).

Please organize and digitize your photos if they aren’t already.

If you lose someone close:

Identify the primary griever

Support that person/those people by providing feedback when solicited, running errands as needed, and running interference so they aren’t inundated with all the little things.

Notifying people

Use the phone tree method. Great Aunt M will be happy to help by calling your cousins. Your boss, coworkers and HR. Your mom’s best friend/your adoptive aunt, your mom’s bunco group. 

Ask that family not put anything on social media until the principal people are informed. I found out my grandpa died on facebook!

Esp these days, set boundaries for visits (who, where, and in what capacity).

Designate one person to be the primary contact for extended family to keep the burden off the primary griever(s). 

Give this persons’ information when the first phone calls are made. It also makes sense for this person to be the travel coordinator. 

This person should have a good handle on family dynamics (i.e. my aunt is flying in and would drive my grandma nuts so she’s staying with Mom). 

This should be their only task because it’s time consuming.

Food

When people die, people gather, even in the time of COVID. Be responsible but expect a ton of drop by food. Clean out the primary griever’s fridge in anticipaton.

Organization

Start a shared family Google doc or sheet. Consolidate to do lists, anecdotes, important contact information, questions and inquiries, etc. 

Pay to have the houses of anyone hosting (gatherings, people coming in from out of town, etc.) cleaned. Or, delegate. This can be an act of service for someone who wants to help and doesn’t mind doing the work. 

Find the death binder (hopefully), legal documentation, etc. Get a folder or binder for papers if one doesn’t exist. And start a shared google doc for loved ones to track everything.

Delegate

I know I have said this three times, but it’s important. If you’re a primary decision maker do not be the primary do-er. My mom is the primary decision maker so my sisters and I are doing literally everything else. 

Say YES when people ask if they can help you. Look at your running list of to-dos and say yes.

Pay to have the houses of people who are hosting cleaned. It will seriously be such a life saver, or this can be an act of service for someone who wants to help.

Social media

You will need to decide what to do with a person’s social media. Do you start a tribute page? Turn their facebook (if they’re old) into a tribute page for a time? Indefinitely? Things to think about. 

Thank yous

Keep a running list of people to thank after via hand-written thank you notes. The link includes guidelines on 

who should receive a thank you note (gave flowers, brought food, made donations, helped with arrangements or the service(s), did readings, or went well out of their way to warm your heart or show up)

when to send them (ideally 2-3 weeks after the funeral)

here’s how to write them (it doesn’t matter if you buy fancy, ones or dollar store ones, make sure they’re hand written).

Receipts. 

Don’t be the petty biatch your cousins hate, but do save significant receipts to be reimbursed by the estate. (I.e. catering hundreds of dollars of food, paying $250 for programs and thank-you cards like I just did, etc.)

Service.

You will have a million decisions to make including

what kind of service to hold, if any

where to hold it

costs

hymns, readings, and anecdotes to share

who will be pall bearers, readers, vocalists, and give eulogies

Crematories handle cremation only, not the service details. 

you will need photo boards (Hobby Lobby has nice black foamcore ones) or a powerpoint (and a way to display it depending on the venue)

a guest or memorial book

a card basket,

memorial cards, possibly programs, and thank you cards 

Officiants, musicians, religious institutions, etc. all need to be paid (and tipped) for their time.

If we ever wrangle this pandemic, donating funeral flowers to a nursing homes is a fantastic way to brighten residents’ days. 

Obituary.

Obituaries are expected, but traditionally costly ($200-$800). As part of the publishing fee, most newspapers keep the obituary on legacy.com indefinitely.

A funeral home will assist you with this, but the burden will be on you and your loved ones if using other methods. 

These take hours to write and many hands does not make light work. Keep it to 2-4 key people. Having the facts laid out will help, and so will looking at other obituaries. I read a great tip which was to write about your loved one in present tense first, then change the tense before submission. 

Newspapers will update your spelling and grammar but that’s about it. Cheaper alternatives: 

Death notice which gives age, date and location of death, and who is handling funeral arrangements. Our crematory put in the death notice for us because they had her body, but the requirements on this likely vary state-to-state. 

Here is a place to put a free online obituary.

Plants, animals, stuff, etc. 

Save the plants and pets. 

Household misc. are usually not dictated by the will, except in special circumstances or contested items. Closest members will go through possessions first. Voice early if you want something in particular, but understand that you may not get it. That’s ok. 

Going through someone’s life is an overwhelming process. You may be repulsed and sad and overwhelmed and amused, all at the same time.  

In deciding what to keep, as I’ve now cleared out three houses, I’ve found that quality over quantity is the way to go. The sweet spot? 1-2 sentimental + useful things. My great grandmother’s thimble and juicer? Use them all the time, and I remember her lemonade. 

It’s okay to throw away some keepsakes and let things get thrown out or donated, depending on the thing. 

Don’t give into guilt if you don’t want the china your Aunt Karen is pressuring you into taking when she doesn’t want it either.

Legal stuff. 

If someone dies, there will be all kinds of legal things you will need to do (bank accounts, utilities, debtors, education, etc.), investments or 401k, etc. 

This varies too much by state and circumstance to talk about in depth but there are guides to specifically help you.

If someone you love has lost someone they love

Do not give platitudes or ask if they’re ok

Don’t expect a response from someone grieving

Do send a card! It’s so thoughtful. I keep a stack of blank condolence cards and a set of forever stamps in my closet. It doesn’t have to be a $20 card to be special.

Don’t judge someone by how they grieve

Offer specific, actionable help if you’re close enough to give it

I am going to come over and clean at 10, leave the house unlocked

I’m at the store and am going to buy cheap vodka unless you tell me what kind of wine you want

oops I got you an uber eats gift card in your gmail sorry/not sorry

Buy thank you cards with stamps as a condolence gift, depending on the person and situation

Send a plant instead of a bouquet of flowers

Make a donation in the loved one’s name if you have the funds

If the grieving person is someone super close (best friend, sister, etc.) add the date in your recurring calender so you can check up on them this day next year with a card and/or phone call

[starspangledbigbang]

Welcome to the 2021 Star Spangled Big Bang!

The Star Spangled Big Bang is a chance for writers and artists to collaborate and create stories paired with artwork, all of which will focus on the members of Team Cap from the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Authors sign up to write stories that are 10k words or longer. Artists then claim stories and create art inspired by them. Creations may be canon, canon divergent, or AU. They must be centered around at least one character from the MCU’s Team Cap/Cap Quartet. All pairings as well as gen fic are welcome.

Friday 5 March - Author & Artist sign-ups open

Friday 2 April - Author sign-ups close

Friday 21 May - Author Check-in

Friday 4 June - Artist sign-ups close, Author summaries due (5k of fic complete)

Sunday 6 June - Author summaries available for preview

Friday 11 June - Claims open, Partnerships announced

Friday 2 July - Author & Artist Check-in #1

Friday 9 July Sat 17 July - Beta Claims

Friday 6 August - Author & Artist Check-in #2, Posting Date Claims

September - Posting period

Content Guidelines

Every creation must be centered around one or more characters from the MCU’s Team Cap or the Cap Quartet. This includes Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton, Scott Lang, Wanda Maximoff, and Sharon Carter.

Any and all ratings are welcome, as well any setting, be it canon, canon divergent, or AU. Authors will be able to outline their preferences on rating, do-not-wants, and collaboration interest level if desired so that artists may take that into consideration when choosing what stories they’d like to collab with. 

Please be mindful of portraying marginalized communities respectfully. This page from Writing With Color has a list of blogs and resources that discuss diversity in writing. Any creations that sympathetically portray hate groups or actively promote racism, transphobia, homophobia, etc. will not be accepted.

All fics must be edited, beta read, and legible. All content must be thoroughly and appropriately tagged.

Code of Conduct 

Please be respectful of your fellow participants, including your mods. This event is designed to be inclusive regarding characters, ships, kinks, etc. and therefore we will not allow kinkshaming or ship/character bashing within event spaces. We are a diverse community and will not tolerate any racism, transphobia, homophobia, harassment, or general inappropriate behavior towards the mods or your fellow participants.

We want to ensure that all participants have a comfortable experience within the event. If your content or conduct does not align with the guidelines and the spirit of the bang, we will do everything possible to foster conversation and resolve the issue on a case-by-case basis. However, the final decision on how to proceed will ultimately be up to the mods. Please remember that the mods are fans just like you, doing this for fun in their spare time to share more Team Cap love.

What sort of content am I committing to if I sign up?

Authors will be required to create one original, cohesive story with a minimum of 10k words (no maximum). Artists will claim one or more stories (depending on the number of sign ups we receive, as well as artist interest) and create one piece inspired by that story. Each collab team will be required to create a banner for the master post as well.

What sort of artwork is acceptable?

All art must be visual, original art. By original art, we mean that the final product must be an original product of the artist. Using photos for reference is fine, and you can use whatever traditional or digital medium you require, so long as the art starts and finishes as your own product. Photo manips are allowed as long as they have been significantly edited, via Photoshop or other programs, to clearly resemble original art. Hit up the mods if you need clarity on an idea.

What ships are allowed?

Any prominent ships featured must include one or more characters from the MCU’s Team Cap or the Cap Quartet (Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton, Scott Lang, Wanda Maximoff, and Sharon Carter.) They may be paired with any other characters, but the Team Cap character(s) should be the main focus of the story. Other than that note, we welcome any and all ships for the main pairings, including polyamorous ships, queerplatonic ships, and genfic. All side pairings are welcome as well.

What canons & universes are allowed?

Any canon or universe is allowed as long as it features one of the specified Team Cap characters. This includes any movies, comic runs, cartoons, etc. as well as non-canon AUs. So, if you wanted to write Planet Hulk Steve or Avengers Assemble Natasha or mermaid Sam, that’s perfectly acceptable!

Are there any age restrictions for participation?

Sorry, but yes. You’ve got to be 18 or over to participate.

Can I use a work that I’ve published previously, or that’s been sitting in my drafts for 3 years?

For this fest, we need all original content, none of which has been published previously. That being said, authors, if you’ve got an outline or a draft that’s been hanging around your WIP folder for too long, now’s the perfect time to dust it off and finish it! Since the art is meant to be inspired by the story, artists must start their work from scratch.

What if a friend and I want to work together?

Writing teams are welcome, but since claims will be anonymous, no author/artist team sign ups will be allowed.

How will claiming work?

Authors will create slides with information on their stories. Claims will take place at the halfway mark, and authors must have a minimum of 5k words written to be considered for claims.

The mods will compile the author submissions anonymously to share with the artists prior to claims. Once claims open, artists will submit their choices via Google forms.

Where are the submissions going to be hosted?

All submissions will be posted on AO3. We will also promote all creations on Tumblr and Twitter.

What if I can’t finish on time, will I get an extension?

We’ll have plenty of check-ins to make sure that you will indeed finish on time! If you’ve got any concerns, the mods will work with you to find a solution on a case-by-case basis. We will also enlist the help of artist pinch hitters if necessary. If you drop before claims, there will be no penalty; however if you ghost us after claims and leave your partner hanging, we’ll take that into account for participation in future events depending on the circumstances.

Can I post work-in-progress snippets on my personal blog?

Prior to claims, all snippets and sneak peeks must be shared anonymously on the starspangledbigbang account; the mods will assist in this process. Once claims are done, you will be able to announce your team and share snippets on your personal blog, as you create. Please keep snippets to 500 words or less, and roughly ⅓ or the artwork or less.

Can the fic &/or art also count towards a bingo fill?

Yes, we will allow cross-posting within bingo-style events, as long as your partner is comfortable. If your partner would prefer to keep your creation to this event only, then we would ask you to respect their wishes. We also ask that all cross-posting be done in good faith and within the spirit of our content and conduct guidelines.

I can’t sign up, but I still want to participate, what can I do?

No worries, there are lots of ways for you to help support the Big Bang! Follow us on Twitter and Tumblr; reblog, comment, and share our posts to spread the word. We’ll also be asking for help with beta reading, pinch hitting, and other cool ways for you to get involved!

Where can I find event info?

Info on the SSBB will be posted on Tumblr (@starspangledbigbang) and Twitter (@starspangledbb), with a collection on AO3. We will also have a Discord for participants.

Who are the mods?

Your friendly SSBB mods are bangyababy, Call_Me_Kayyyyy, HeyBoy, nachodiablo, and velociraptorerin.

I’ve got more questions, help!

No problem, we’re happy to hear from you! Ping us on one of the social media sites above, or email starspangledmods at gmail dot com.

(updated 07/09/2021)

[greymattermaelstrom]

What she said

This has been a difficult post to prepare. After much thought, I wish to share some very interesting information. Some know from my recent post, I went to Ozlander in Melbourne, Australia on March 14 & 15, 2020, and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing Richard and Sophie. As a premium ticket holder, I enjoyed lunch with them on both days. They would individually spend 5 minutes or so at each table and rotate through the tables to meet the fans. At the event introduction on Day One, we were asked to respect Richard and Sophie by not asking questions of a personal nature, which naturally, everyone understood. Therefore, I wasn’t going to ask anything about Sam, Cait, or even Tony. So, I was more than surprised when Sophie briefly mentioned Cait’s wedding!

  Sophie visited our table and we talked about a number of things. It was Sophie’s first trip to Australia; Caitriona had been here and had told Sophie how nice it was. Someone asked Sophie, 'You went to Caitriona’s wedding, didn’t you?'

  'Yeah, Caitriona’s husband is a lovely guy.' (Did she just say that, I thought?)

  I asked Sophie, 'You and Sam were the only cast members that went?'

  And she replied, 'No, Tobias was there as well.' Interesting.

  Sophie then added she took the photo of Sam in the Dunhill suit (remarkable weekend).

  'The background had to be photoshopped as we couldn’t give away the location. It got onto social media and Caitriona wasn’t that pleased about it,' Sophie said a little ruefully. (Sam had posted the photo on IG. The right-side background looks very photoshopped.)

  During a photo session on Day Two, I asked Sophie, 'Did Caitriona marry Tony?' with the emphasis on the word Tony.

 'Yeah,' she said with a smile.

 'Really?' I asked.

 'Yes. Really,' Sophie said.

 Then I said, 'Well she doesn’t say his name and hasn’t released any photos so...'

 'I don’t know...,' Sophie said pleasantly enough. Wow!! Being so busy and so involved with OL for so long, I don’t think she fully appreciated how all the Tait secrecy is being perceived in the fandom.

Okay, a photo or some sort of evidence or it didn't happen. This info from Sophie was really unexpected. What sort of proof would be acceptable and not immediately suspected anyway? Nevertheless, I believe I have the evidence I need to satisfy myself. Someone else who was at the same Day One table, has confirmed to me in writing (I contacted her a week or so after the event) she heard Sophie say all this as well. I don’t think my acquaintance follows the ins and outs of the SC/Tait drama. I don’t think most of the people at Ozlander did from conversations I had and the general talk I heard. So, my witness doesn’t have a vested interest in The Narrative and, I believe, just gave a purely objective confirmation.

If I had heard Sophie say Cait married Sam, you would probably believe it, put this info in the receipt warehouse, and any evidence would be a bonus. I have been wanting truth no matter what it is. I’ll just deal with it. While it’s greatly disappointing, I do wish Cait and Sam happiness in life whomever they find it with.

I discovered OL 18 months ago and have only been active on Tumblr for 8 months. So, I am still a newb of sorts. Some might say a naïve babe in the woods with not much to lose. However, I’ve met some wonderful people on this side of the fence and I will probably lose friendships and reputation, be unfollowed and blocked, receive a lot of vitriol, be called a troll working for (fill in the blank), etc., due to this heresy. So, my info does come at a price for me. I understand I have not experienced years of surviving on this side of the fence, enduring the delusional tag and the attacks and insults from antis, NST, TPTB, Shamuso, and even some from Sam and Cait, and being thrown under the bus when convenient. I get, in principle, some shippers will close ranks and support any higher-profile shippers who don’t believe me. I anticipate this will be the response. One way to discredit information is to discredit the person presenting it, and I assume this tactic will be employed as well.

So why am I putting my head on the chopping block? Notoriety? Hardly. Well, as I said, I want intel even if it conflicts with what I hope for. I believe people can ship the way they want (within reason) and as KDS infamously said, believe what you want. I don’t wish to convince anybody, nor get into a slanging match with anyone. It would be pointless really. I feel obligated out of principle to reveal the info and not hide it no matter how controversial and inconvenient that might be. I understand some may not think it a good time in the fandom right now to deal with this but I didn’t want the info dating too much before putting it on the table. I understand and I am sorry. But is there an optimal time to hear this?

People like I, who want to know what is going on or had suspicions, and are prepared to accept this information, will welcome it. They have had enough of the mess that is happening right now in The Narrative as well. Also, I don't wish to be intimidated into keeping contrary evidence hidden just because it doesn’t suit the manifesto. And I apologise in advance to high-profile shippers who will probably be inundated with comments and asks. I accept there will be jealousy involved. Why did a newb get this intel? Believe me, I wish it didn’t happen to me; I really wish it was someone else. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

For the record, yes, I’m Australian living in Australia. I understand some people’s problem with that. Why does so much narrative controversy emanate from this place? I don’t know. I wish I knew. We often call it the lucky country (for various reasons). Do we appear have more luck than the Irish?!

However, and unfortunately, this does not provide closure for me. I accept the Tait wedding. I do have problems with the Tait marriage, sorry to say. I don’t know why games are being played. Cait still doesn’t call her husband Tony, there were no wedding or engagement photos made public, and no confirmation from her PR team when wedding articles hit the magazines. It seems like secrecy, not privacy. Why so secret? We continue to see gaslighting, innuendo, and an intentional vagueness, to keep us all engaged it seems?! And Hawaiigate is certainly a head scratcher at best.

So, in summing up, the four things I learnt about the wedding are:

1. The wedding happened.

2. Cait married Tony.

3. Tobias was there.

4. Sam posted Sophie’s remarkable Dunhill manipulated photo on IG and Cait wasn’t too happy about it.

Most shippers won’t like my saying Tait is real and most antis won’t like my saying Sam and Cait continue to play games. But that’s ok. I knew this going in. I just think it is important for the info to be put out there. I don’t wish to appear foolish, talking about a fake wedding, now that I know Cait married Tony. I think there must be other intel such as this out there. Perhaps the time is right for others to make their intel known.

I believe the four things Sophie said about the wedding. I do not have any further intel to share, nor do I have any further theories on what is happening with Sam, Cait, or Tony that haven’t been discussed on Tumblr already. With this in mind, I’m prepared to answer every constructive and civil comment I may receive on this post, including any DMs. If you wish, please look through my blog to see what I have posted. You will find it aligns with this side's thinking. You may see some names that do not. Please consider the message, not the messenger. And please, it would be appreciated if you would do some homework before making any comment. Thank you for your time in reading this long and very difficult post. I imagine, many will take some time to process it.

[thesociologicalcinema]

Helpful Rebuttals for Racist Talking Points

This isn't meant to be comprehensive or the angles you HAVE to take, but it's a good starting point or reference guide for hard conversations. Feel free to share! 1. "Cops Kill more white people than Black people." - There are an estimated 5.7x more white people in America than black people--so yes, by sheer numbers, white people are killed by police more. But cops don't kill white people simply because they're white, and Black people are killed by cops at a rate 3X HIGHER than white people, often when unarmed. That a glaring inequality, and it exists because of race. An hey, consider this: the fact that police brutalize and kill people is a problem IN GENERAL, which is why we should be against police brutality. Yes? (Sources: CIA Factbook; mappingpoliceviolence.org) 2. "The problem is Black people commit more crime." - Correction: crimes committed by Black people are more reported, and/or over-attributed in a corrupt system that values arrest quotas. As part of gentrification there is often a higher police presence in diverse neighborhoods than in white neighborhoods. This means there is often a higher police presence in diverse neighborhoods than in white neighborhoods. This means there is more police surveillance in general, AND more instances of new white residents calling law enforcement on people of color for perceived misdemeanors. (Like noise complaints, "behaving suspiciously, etc.) More "crimes" being attributed to Black and Latinx people is more reflective of excessive police presence and white people making the calls, not "proof" POC actually commit crimes more frequently. (Source: The Atlantic) 3. "Well, what about Black-on-Black crime?" - We're discussing RACISM, and Black people don't kill each other because they're Black, firstly. Secondly, if you compare white and Black neighborhoods with similar income levels, you see similar rates of crime. But systemic economic inequality is a factor that people forget. So if you use comparisons that put together both wealthy and upper income class neighborhoods (that are predominately white), and middle/low income neighborhoods (that have more POC), it skews the data. Poor people commit more crimes because economic insecurity leads to those crimes; it just so happens that Black people are still at an economic disadvantage because of the enduring consequences of America's racism throughout history. (Source: The Guardian) 4. "What about gun violence in Black neighborhoods like Chicago?" - The above info on economic inequality applies here too. Also, this isn't directly related to this conversation. 5. "If people just followed the law, they'd be fine." - A) Whether or not someone committed a crime does not mean they deserve to be killed. Cops are not judge, jury, and executioner. B) Innocent people have been killed for "fitting a description," or for misdemeanors, or "by accident," or because a cop felt like it and didn't fear repercussions. And rarely is justice served. C) The law and the system protects white people in ways it does not protect Black people, Indigenous people, or people of color. 6. "White privilege isn't real." - Consider: Brock Turner. Also consider: white shooters are miraculously apprehended safely, yet unarmed Black people are killed with alarming frequency. Look, there's not enough space here, but the info on this guide indicates SOME ways white privilege is real. In essence, white is seen as the default "normal"; white people often receive the benefit of the doubt in ways POC don't because of stereotypes and lack of representation in media; and because of CENTURIES of history rooted in racism/oppression, white people have advantages and systemic power that Black people don't. (Learn more: tolerance.org/magazine/fall-2018/what is white-privilege-really)

7. "Many of the people killed had criminal histories." - That doesn't matter and isn't relevant in the moment when a cop is making an arrest. A past criminal record (which is often uninown!) doesn't justify the use of excessive force or murder, especially if someone is subdued. Cops are not judge, jury, and executioner. Also, many of the cops who are killing people have prior "on the job" offenses or murders on THEIR records, yet they're still on duty causing harm. That should be your ACTUAL point of concern. 8. "Why can't they peacefully protest in a way that doesn't disturb anyone?"- A) How do you feel about Colin Kaepernick? B) The point of protesting is to create sustained disruptions to the status quo, forcing people in power create change. This has worked multiple times throughout history. C) The protests remain peaceful unless or until the cops deliberately use tear gas and "non-lethal" bullets (that can maim and kill). 9. "But the rioting and the looting!" - The majority of protests are entirely peaceful. Others are peaceful until the cops turn them into riots with tear gas and "non-lethal" bullets (that can maim and kill). That can lead to others taking advantage with chaos/looting, often detracting from the goals of the movement. "Small businesses shouldn't be destroyed" and "there is a problem with racism and police brutality that needs to be addressed" can and MUST coincide. Don't focus on the property loss at the expense of the repeated loss of lives that's been occurring for years. If you allow those few instances to direct your attention away from the reasons for the protests, you're playing right into the hands of those trying to change the topic-the media, the police, and the politicians who prefer orderly status quo to change. If you're primarily seeing select news of property damage, but no evidence of hours of peace and repeated police violence, ask yourself WHY. (400+ instances of police violence at protests: slate.com/news-and-politics/2020/06/george-floyd-public-spreadsheet:police-violence-videos. html) 10. "How come [other race] doesn't protest?" - A) They probably do, or DID, and you're just not aware of it. B) If they did now, would you personally actually be listen- ing to them, or dismiss them? and C) Bringing this up perpetuates the "model minority myth," which is the idea that some minorities have achieved higher success and are "better" because they keep their heads down and work hard. It's erasure that encourages people to not speak out against injustice, and also pits minorities against each other. (tolerance.org/magazine/what-is-the-model-minority-myth) 11. "White people have been oppressed too!" - Are white people oppressed in Western societies, right now, BECAUSE OF THEIR RACE? No. Can white people be oppressed in other ways UNRELATED to their skin color, like sexuality or gender or economic status or ableism? Of course, but that's a different conversation, and racial oppression is currently what we're discussing. 12. "Well, I don't see color." - You may mean well by saying this, but what you're actually doing is invalidating the experiences of anyone who isn't white. You can't discuss and change problems if you refuse to acknowledge they exist in the first place, nor can you support those whose skin color and cultures differ from yours. We are all human and should strive to be kind, yes. But in a society filled with microaggressions and overt racism and injustice, we are not all equal, and we must listen to each other's experiences. We also can't forget to value the things that make us unique or celebrate the beauty in diversity, especially when those differences are often used to perpetuate oppression. You truly need to "see color," hear people's different stories, and honor them by working against racism.

13. "Blue Lives Matter." - Being a cop is a choice; being Black isn't. White people can stop being cops by simply taking off their uniform for the day (or quitting) to remove themselves from danger; Black people can't stop being Black or experiencing the repercussions of racism, hence necessary activism. Cops getting hurt or killed while on the clock is an occupational hazard they signed up for; Black people didn't sign up for living with those real fears, and they can't escape them. 14. "Not all cops brutalize and kill people." and/or "It's just a few bad ones." - The ones who DO kill and brutalize rarely face true consequences, because the system is broken. When someone says "there are no good cops," it doesn't mean no good person has ever become a cop. What it DOES mean is that American policing is set up as a system that doesn't allow for what we'd expect a "good cop" to be. The supposed "good cops" are complicit in supporting a system that lets the worst of them get away with horrible things; this is called the blue wall of silence. And any cops who DO try to speak out against corruption are often punished for it; for example, read about Adrian Schoolcraft. The problem isn't "a few bad apples," but rather "the whole tree." (Sources: themarshallproject.org/records/605-blue-wall-of-silence Schoolcraft / villagevoice.com/2010/05/04/the-nypd-tapes-inside-bed-stuys-8 1st-precinct/) 15. "Why isn't anyone talking about how how many good things cops do?" - People do, all the time, in ~feel good~ stories. But it's difficult to separate genuine "good" from what is often well-timed cop propaganda that tries to get people to stop speaking out, or delegitimizes voices for change by implying any problems are about individual cops rather than the system. Recently and frequently, cops kneeling for photo ops at protests have gone viral, but then later in the day those same cops used tear gas and violence on protesters. Also, some of the cops who go viral for "good deeds" may have a history of violence on their records. The bottom line? It's difficult and/or harmful to praise people who are part of such a broken system that kills and harms innocent or unarmed people. 16. "Cops are human too. Are they just expected to do nothing while getting screamed at?" - Yeah, actually. If customer service people can take abuse, the "protectors of society" should be able to. Being a cop is a high pressure job, and they need to have the mental fortitude to not allow emotions to cloud their judgement and/or lead to violence. Things like anger management training, background checks on records of violence, mental wellness checks, etc. are the bare minimum that should be happening, but aren't-nor would it be enough. 17. "So what's the solution?" - Defunding and/or abolishing the police. Now, that sounds crazy if you've never heard of it before... but allow me to quote the people who know what they're talking about. Essentially, we currently ask cops to solve too many of the world's problems-meaning at best they're ineffective and at worst, actively harmful. So: "We're talking about a gradual process of strategically reallocating resources, funding, and responsibility away from police and toward community-based models of safety, support, and prevention. The people who respond to crises in our community should be the people who are best-equipped to deal with those crises. Rather than strangers armed with guns, we want to create space for more mental health service providers, social workers, victim/survivor advocates, religious leaders, etc.-all of the people who really make up the fabric of a community-to look out for one another. Crime isn't random. Most of the time, it happens when someone has been unable to meet their basic needs through other means. By shifting money away from the police and toward services that actually meet those needs, we'll be able to get to a place where people won't need to rob banks." This is just a start. See below to understand more! "All Lives" Can't Matter until Black Lives Do. Source: @Charcubed / Inspired by: @Sujoy_Shah / mpd150.com/faq/ / Campaign for 8-Step Plan: 8toabolition.com

[cherryonigiri]

the retrospective: alice’s 1k special || lover masterlist

matchup requests: CLOSED

@katsushimaa​​ asked: congrats on 1k Alice!! i’m so proud!!! can i request a matchup for the event? my personality type is ENFP, my house is ravenclaw, five words for me: loud, optimistic, friendly, lazy, and happy-go-lucky, my hobbies are writing and playing vball, and partying sometimes, i usually go for a comfy look, and my fav beverage is milk tea!! thank you for this 💞

A/N: yssa! Thank you for all the encouragement - you were one of the first people who really inspired me to keep writing even when my motivation was not the best <3 ahh i still remember when we mutually freaked out over each other’s writing and it’s honestly one of my best memories here 💖💖💖 have a wonderful day!!! -alice

Your matchup is: Komori Motoya

How you met: At an MSBY fan meet. You’re a pretty big volleyball fan and enjoy playing the sport regularly. Somehow, you were lucky enough to score a ticket to the fanmeet for one of your favorite teams in the league (You’re torn between EJP Raijin and MSBY Black Jackals). The line for the event is pretty long, and while you’re waiting you strike up conversation with your line neighbor, talking about different players in the league He seems oddly familiar and you can’t really put your finger on where you recognize him from, since he’s wearing a facemask. It isn’t until you’re at the table shaking hands with Hinata Shoyo and you hear your neighbor go “Kiyoomi!” only for Sakusa to respond with “Keep it down Motoya.” Wait. Motoya..? AS IN KOMORI MOTOYA? Anyways, Komori sees your eyes widen as you stare at him in shock and sheepishly comments “Ah, you caught me.” At the end of the event you don’t expect Komori to ask you for your number, but the two of you exchange contact info. What can he say, Komori enjoyed your laid back personality + passion for volleyball. 

Your first date: The two of you text back and forth for a couple days. His teammates and his cousins warn him to be cautious, but you’re always polite over text, and never pry into anything he feels uncomfortable sharing. He’s finding that he’s enjoying your company over text and calls, and feels that going on at least one date with you won’t do anyone any harm (if anything he’d be ecstatic if you agreed to go on said date). He asks if you want to have lunch at Onigiri Miya and you agree. You’re not really sure what to expect, but Komori surprises you by keeping the lunch super chill. He kind of forgot to tell you it was a date, so you don’t really realize until he’s like, “where do you want to go for our second date?” really casually and you both have a freakout moment where you realize none of you ever established this was a date? (You’ll laugh about this later.) Anyways, you settle your plans with him, with promises for an at home movie marathon next week.

Your first kiss: Very casual and spontaneous. Komori invites you over to his place, of course telling you to go through the back door of the dorms since he doesn’t want you to get caught up with any lurking fans or have your picture taken by the media (he doesn’t want to scare you off 🥺). But he gets really excited just waiting for you to come over so the minute he hears the doorbell ring he’s flinging his front door open and it kinda just happens? He’s on autopilot because he’s so happy to see you again so he doesn’t really think before he’s leaning towards your lips for a kiss. No tongue, but definitely longer than a peck, and it’s really sweet because he has an arm around your waist while his other hand cups your cheek. 

Anniversary: If you’re okay with it, he’d like to go public with your relationship. While people have been aware for a while that he’s dating, he’s been careful not to reveal your identity before you’re ready, especially since volleyball fans can get really intense. The most he’ll do is include your silhouette or hands in some of his photos on social media, but for the most part you two enjoy your lives outside of the limelight. Of course, sometimes having to plan routes and bend over backwards to avoid the press + fans can get exhausting, so he asks if he can post a photo on your anniversary. It’s a very simple caption ‘thank you for 2 years’ and a selfie of you two grinning at the camera while holding up your favorite boba orders from a date a few months ago. Anyways after that all your phones/devices are on mute and the two of you enjoy a fun video game night with face masks and TLC. Of course the night is not complete without boba, snacks and some takeout. He takes way more selfies that are for his and your eyes only, because he loves having photos to remind him of all the happiness you’ve brought into his life. 

How they propose: After a game, in the private waiting room/outside the locker rooms. Everyone who is important to you and him are there - his teammates, Kiyoomi (He invited Sakusa to the game and his cousin obliged bc he knew that this was an important moment), your friends and family (he’d sneakily given them all tickets + post-game special access passes to the game). You thought you were just doing the usual and heading towards the locker rooms to congratulate your boyfriend on his win before heading out for dinner. But instead when you reach the hallway, all your loved ones are standing there, and they are all holding up little posters that have photos from all your dates/anniversaries/years together with Komori on them. Once you’re close enough, they part like the Red Sea, revealing Komori, kneeling in front of you with a ring and looking at you with so much adoration in his eyes. He doesn’t even have to say anything, you’re already sobbing yes and tackling him into a hug. 

What your wedding looks like: I feel like you two are both really nonchalant about the guest list/how many people come - like whoever can make it can make it. Of course, between the two of you being super friendly and keeping in contact with literally everyone, you send out a bunch of invitations (you swear Komori invites half of the V-league and then some) but it ends up being a really fun wedding! I feel like you guys would definitely be a summer wedding with a sunflower aesthetic - either there’s a field of sunflowers nearby or sunflowers are the centerpiece of your decorations. It’s a cheerful flower that represents your happy and shiny relationship :) Both of you would insist on having people play party games at the reception because you want to have fun at your wedding. 

Newlywed/domestic hc: You and Komori become THAT brunch/party couple - you guys love hosting parties/gatherings for the EJP Raijin team, and also small get-togethers with high school classmates/teammates, family etc. You have a big house (courtesy of that V-league pay + your own job) and have multiple guest rooms + pull out couches for people to stay on. After your house clears out - the two of you will be cleanin out a guest room when he just says “Imagine when we can turn this into a playroom” or “imagine when this will be a little one’s bedroom” and you two just spend the afternoon imagining your future family together.