#has this joke been made yet?? pls tell me if so

[jellyfishmakeoutparty]

quirked up white boy with a little bit of swag busts it down asexual style

[spncvr]

waiting room | s. reid

summary: spencer can't seem to escape the girl in the waiting room

pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of reid's addiction & tobias hankel, mentions of kidnapping and mass shootings (in, like, a joking way??) my terrible, terrible humour, ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE LMAO, this is deffo terrible, pls tell me if i missed anything!!

a/n: ok idk if i wanna continue this and make it a series so lmk lol (also im on writers block so i literally can't come up with SHIT)

SPENCER REID WAS a pessimist.

At least, that’s what he’d call himself. His colleague, Derek Morgan would most likely (and by most likely, he means, definitely already has) call him an overanalysing introvert. But in Spencer’s defense, there has never really been a good reason to go out and “live your life”. Consider this:

Go to the new coffee shop? Mass shooting.

Go to the mall? A child gets abducted.

Leave the apartment for a short while? A stalker finds out where he lives, kidnaps him in his sleep, and, in a nightmarish turn, auctions off his organs to the bidder in the black market.

Besides, his life isn’t some John Green book. There were no life-affirming adventures or poetic moments of self-discovery awaiting him. Carpe diem? A fanciful notion for others, but for him, not so much. Sorry, Mr. Keating.

Yet life—or more accurately, bureau protocol— had its own plans. Ever since the Tobias Hankel incident, a visit to the psychologist wasn’t just a request but rather (unfortunately for him) an order. Which meant, he’d have to risk his entire life to get up and walk for ten whole minutes just to sit and wait, in this glaringly bright waiting room, when he could have stayed at home and read the new books he’d gotten from his team as a get-well gift.

Speaking of which, why the gifts? He was fine. Physically, at least. But really, when have you ever seen get-well-soon cards in an asylum? Well, alright, maybe he was being a little bit dramatic. A visit to the psychologist doesn’t mean he’ll be institutionalised—but then again, Spencer Reid was never one to wear rose-tinted glasses. 

This is his third time in the waiting room, and she’s always there. He isn’t sure as to why she is, because, well, unlike himself, she was very clearly an optimist—and at least, from the looks of it, she hasn’t been kidnapped and drugged in the past month. But she's sitting there again, in the exact same chair for the past three weeks, along with a beacon of smiles where joy usually fears to trend. Maybe, he isn't as good of a profiler as he’d like to think he is.

“Dr. Reid?” the call of his name rips him out of his thoughts. He looks up to see the same kind woman he’s seen the past three weeks—not the one in the waiting room, no, he means his therapist.

Dr. Brown was easy to profile: She wore heels to make herself look taller, and she hated wearing glasses, apparent by how she would continuously place them atop her head instead of her nose. Her teeth were abnormally perfect, which meant, she’d had to wear braces when she was younger—which (from his humbling experience) means she wasn’t exactly the most popular at school. Perhaps, psychology felt appealing to her because she could help people like her. 

“How are you?” she asks, her pen clicking.

Usually, he’d offer her a meek shrug. The kind that could win awards for its commitment to non-commitment. Besides, he’s not one to talk about how he feels—there isn’t much to say, anyway. And let’s face it,  “How are you?” in the grand tapestry of human interaction is almost as genuine as a three-dollar bill. And, get this, the average person asks “How are you?” 6,739 times a year but only listens to the answer about half the time—well, okay, maybe those numbers might have been fabricated, but isn’t the sincerity behind the question also made up? But instead of telling her all this, he remembers what Hotch had told him, one, two, three weeks ago: that he ought to cooperate with Dr. Brown or the board won’t be happy. So, he kisses his teeth before he says:

“Fine. I’m fine.”

And the session went on.

PLS TELL ME IF I SHLD CONTIUE OR NOT LOLOLOL spam my inbox with ideas I BEG.

[multifariousqueer]

im starving for 42 miles and i agree w ur hcs so can u pls write a fem reader fic where we’re chilling at home n he js barges in one night all roughed up n he has heaps of cuts n is bloody- and we get concerned but we know not to ask so we js silently patch him up while he stares at us (and hes got like sm thoughts in his head ab how much he loves us and appreciates us etc) and u can finish it off BUT YEAH

also pls include the pet names cos his accent has me WEAKKK and ik he def calls us ma and mami😩😩😩

Ofc Love!!! I’ve wanted to get this done for a bit now so here it is!!:

A/n: keep requesting miles!42 and regular miles fics please!! 🩷

Warnings: suggestiveness at the end, make out sessions, angst, fluff, groping(it’s consensual and it’s only seen when you squint), love confessions, possible spoilers if you haven’t seen atsv yet

3:00 AM

You: miles, baby are you okay?

Seen

You: are you mad at me for the joke I made about your braids being fluffy?

Seen

You: I didn’t mean it

You: text me when you can. Love you 🩷🩷

Seen

You fell asleep exasperated like you’ve been doing for the last three weeks now. Miles hasn’t been answering any of your texts or calls and has been leaving you on seen for no reason. When you did see him in person, he looked tired and diminished. Ever since his dad died, he’s been acting weird like this; but you could understand why. Although him and Uncle Aaron were closer, Miles was still really close to his dad and his dad loved you. You came over Rio and Miles’ house every day since then and tried to provide solace to them but Miles was always gone when you came over. His room looked different too, having ditched the bright superhero posters and traded them in for boxing gloves and a punching bag. Thankfully, you had established trust with Miles and he knew he could come to you any time, you just didn’t expect him to come through your window at 4:00 AM on a Saturday morning.

It was about 3:15 when he saw your message, he wondered why you were still up and what were you doing but he couldn’t ponder the question for too long because he had someone chained up to his punching bag.

“Miles? Get off your phone, man.”- Uncle Aaron’s voice brought Miles back to reality

Miles did as told and geared up to kill the young boy who looked exactly like himself when all of a sudden, the chains fell and the doppelgänger swung at Miles’ perfectly structured face. A few of the punches connected but he was still able to subdue the mirrored image of himself(if everything went right).

However, Miles’ suit had been clobbered, his clothes covered in blood from a broken nose and blood from the fight. Even though he won, he couldn’t go back to his house because his mom would admonish him for this and Uncle Aaron was keeping watch so he went to your house.

You heard faint tapping on the window that you had assumed it was a bird, until the tapping became a loud knocking. You scurried up grabbing the nearest thing that looked like a weapon and went to the window. You found a battered Miles and knew something was wrong:

“Miles?”-you whisper shouted

“Ola mi amor” he said, trying to be suave but flinching in pain

You opened the window and let him in. You knew he was rough and bloodied up for a reason but it was late(or early depending on how you look at it) and you knew he wouldn’t tell you why; a small part of you also knew but chose not to acknowledge it. You just silently grabbed the first aid kit and patched him up as best as you could. You noticed he had a broken nose:

“Rough night?” You Said, trying to ease the tension

Miles didn’t reply, rather he looked at you through bruised eyes and simply nodded.

“Your nose is broken. You should probably go the the hospital for that” you said, nonchalantly

“Can’t you fix it?” He mumbled

“not easily” you mumbled, mocking his tone

He gave you an annoyed glare before saying:

“I’m sorry to come in late like this. And I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you, Mami; it’s a lot going on that you wouldn’t understand and I’m trying to protect you.”

“It would’ve been nice for you to call or text” you said while closing the first-aid kit.

“I knew you would’ve worried about me and I didn’t want that” he said, hanging his head

“I’m your girlfriend, it’s my job to worry about you” you chuckled

It was like a Disney movie, Miles realized that if no one else would, you would hold it down for him and that you were gonna be there through thick and thin. He knew he loved you but this solidified it in his mind; he knew that if he survived long enough, you were gonna be his wife. It would be you waking him up everyday, it would be you kissing him goodnight and good morning, it would be you carrying and having his babies. Some days, he would wake up and wonder how he got so lucky with someone like you but he never thought too much into it because he knew he would find a way to sabotage it for himself but now, he didn’t care:

“I love you, Y/n” he said

“I love you too, Miles” you replied softly

“No. I mean like I love you so much that I can’t stand it, I wanna marry you, Y/n and be with you for life. If no one else has me, I know you do and I can’t even imagine myself without you.” Miles said

You started to tear up before crashing your lips onto his. Your lips moved in perfect sync as he grabbed your hips with one hand, and cupped your face in the other. You stayed this way for a while until Miles slipped his tongue into your mouth, battling for dominance against your tongue which he emerged victorious. He started moving his other hand to your ass as you moved yours to his chest when suddenly, you hear your parent call out:

“Y/n!!!”

“Yeah” you replied nervously, Miles leaving a trail of kisses down your neck

“Breakfast is ready” they shouted

You looked at your phone as Miles rubbed your back and saw it was 8:00 already.

“Shit” You Said under your breath, partly because of how Miles was making you feel

“Go Mamà, we’ll finish this later” he said against his neck

“Okay I love you, call me this time” you smiled

“Por supesto, Mami” he replied

You went down for breakfast and sat in your normal spot:

“Y/n?” Your parent said

“Yeah?” You replied

“What’s that on your neck?” They smirked

Damn it Miles

Translations

Por supesto- of course

[garoujo]

ONE ‘N’ ONLY — GOJO SATORU

・✶ ｡ﾟ satoru gets roped into a bet that you’ll let him make you his one and only.

♱ warnings — virginity loss. f!reader, college!au, quarterback!gojo, inexperienced!gojo, he doesn’t accept the bet & tells you about it before anything happens, creampies. wc : 2.3k / note. this is a rewrite so pls ignore the lazy characterisation sob !

RETURN TO KINKTOBER MLIST ♱ REGULAR MLIST

another day, another sleazy, college football locker room conversation, gojo thinks as he pulls his sweater over his head, half assed listening to his teammates conversation behind him about their most recent conquests, who they’d fucked, who’d they’d fingered in the locker rooms— who cares. he snorts to himself, so what if he’d barely made it to first base, it’s not that he’s never had the chance, he’s just got a pro career to focus on—as if he’d ever admit it to these guys anyway.

“satoru!” the sudden call and smack on his back pulling him from his thoughts “huh—what is it?” “you know her, right? she’s in your class.” why are they talking about you? he can’t help the furrow of his brows, his lips turning into a tight pout before he presses the conversation further. “hm, oh yeah— not personally but why do you ask? she’s a sweet thing.” far too good for assholes like you.

you were a good student, sat infront of him, pretty face, pretty hair, pretty laugh— you weren’t like the other ones that swarmed around the frat, fawned over guys like him. you were better.

“she’s hot right? been trying to get in her pants all semester. wont even talk to me, but you sit right by her. how about you try it, call it a bet between us guys.” the quarterback jokes and if gojo was scowling any harder he’s pretty sure he’d pop a vein, he’s too prideful to outwardly deny it and they know that—he’s no excuse and he’s pretty sure i’m a virgin wouldn’t go down too well in this scenario considering his reputation (he didn’t even start that rumour).

“just another peg on the post, right satoru?” no—“oh yeah?” god these guys are fucking assholes, clearing out the locker room with more hoots and hollers, more teasing looks in his direction that have him giving them an almost too tight lipped smirk back.

gojo knows his next class is the one with you, walks in to see you giggling with your friend while sat at your desk— right infront of his as always, just as pretty as always. he wasn’t really going to go through with it, he thought you were pretty— would’ve been lying if he said you hadn’t caught his eye but you were unattainable, he’d watch you shoot down a few too many confessions.

maybe he’d just make out with you a little, maybe lie to the guys but fuck he’d be an idiot to not know how that was gonna turn out— rumours spread like wildfire in frats and then he’d have no real chance with you, how does he even talk to you?

“it’s gojo right?” “hm?” he smirks, almost by instinct as he lets his cheek rest against his fist — handsome smile in place despite the way he’s been abruptly snapped from his daydream only to be met with you turned around in your seat. “oh? if it’s you that’s asking, angel. you can call me satoru.” it’s almost natural the way he can’t help but tease you, flirt with you as the smirk on his lips seems to tug even wider but you smile back at him anyway, and he swears his heart almost leaps out of his throat.

“well, satoru—you dropped your pen.” you sigh and shit his name has never sounded better than it just did. that’s how it started, whatever you both had. the study dates, the way you laughed at his jokes, let him walk you to class—fuck, he’s such an asshole, you deserve better than this.

he should’ve told you sooner, but now he’s here, staring at you glassy-eyed as he sits on the edge of your bed with you straddling his fucking lap, he’s flushed to his chest and his cock is uncomfortably hard in his sweats after losing himself in the feeling of your lips against his, and he can’t go through with this, not yet. he didn’t even do this for the dumb bet, he never even accepted it but if word got out and he knows those assholes, the timing is too suspicious—he’d lose you.

“got something to tell you.. sweet girl like you deserves it, yeah?” gojo starts, his voice lacking the usual teasing drawl it usually carries but he relaxes when he feels your fingers smooth through the snowy hair at the base of his neck, shooting him that gentle smile that reminds him just why he needs to tell you.

“few weeks ago, the team were talking in the locker room.. bout you.” he begins as he lets his fingers punch slightly at your jaw, making sure your attention is on him —despite the way it always was.

“said i couldn’t get to know you, said you were unattainable but i think y’re just too pretty f’ them, sweet thing. deserve someone better, and they bet that it was me, i didn’t accept it but i think you deserve to know though.. can leave if you want me to, don’t need t’ go any further. our secret.”

gojo’s words are earnest as he holds your gaze, letting his fingers trace soothingly along the length of your spine, but when he’s only cut off by your lips slamming against his once more he can’t help but smile against you, call him greedy or selfish but he needs you—tightening his arms around your waist to pull you just a little closer, his tongue sliding alongside yours until you finally pull away for air.

“thanks for telling me, satoru. bet or not i’m glad i got to know the real you. but are you saying you think you are what i deserve?” you smile, pinching playfully at his cheeks and his heart feels like it’s gonna burst out of his chest right now because he really fucking does.

so gojo kisses you again, eager and messy—groaning against your lips before he moves forward, flipping your positions until you’re lying back on the mattress below him as his figure leans over yours, a hot rush of warmth over his skin at the intimacy he feels in the moment.

“yup, cause you’re so sweet f’ me, princess. only one who’ll treat you right.“ he breathes, dreamy and needy against your lips and he freezes on top of you when he feels your fingers move down to the waistband of his sweats before his stop them.

“oh, got another confession for you. never did anything like this before. been waitin’ for the right one. y’know.. my one and only.” gojo teases to get rid of the nervousness he feels shake in his bones as he wiggles his brow. honestly he expects you to laugh, even push him off but you don’t, you kiss him harder—like you’re reassuring him.

there’s pure adoration in the way your lips are moving against his, your fingers soft when he lets them tuck under his waistband—pulling his boxers and sweatpants down with one tug until his leaking cock is smacking against his abdomen. “and you think that’s me?” you ask and he smirks.

“do you want it to be?” gojo gazes at you half-lidded when you pull away from him to strip your clothes, tugging his shirt off after until you’re both baring all infront of each other and you’re just as beautiful as he’s always known.

“want me to take care of you?” he whispers shakily with need, he’s nervous ofcourse—letting his palm rest against your thigh as he looms over you but he relaxes when you give him another smile, letting your fingertips dance down his well trained chest and abdomen and he shivers at the featherlight touch. “it’s okay, i’ll teach you what i like another day, i need you satoru. we can just—“

“oh? you that greedy for my cock already, sweet girl? fu—“ his voice catches, his abdomen tightening with a shock of pleasure when your hand wraps around the base of his cock, giving it a few languid pumps as he gasps “fuck.”

you hook one of your arms around his shoulders, allowing gojo’s bicep to curl underneath your figure as he hugs you closer, situating his hips between your legs to kiss you again—groaning while his hands curl into your skin when you swipe the blunt head of his cock through your folds.

it’s embarrassing the effect you have on him already, rubbing your slick all over his cock and the small whimper that leaves your lips everytime it catches under the hood of your clit has his mind blanking, his cock twitching in your hold when he feels it prod at your flexing hole, until his eyes flutter closed in bliss when he begins to sink into you.

gojo breaks the kiss to rest his face in the crook of your neck, cursing softly with a mixture of need and delight as he continues to push into you. your thighs twitch when he grazes past your sweet spot, making him groan when your walls reward the stretch of his cock with another needy squeeze around him.

he’s long—thick and warm, making your stretched pussy clench hard around him the deeper he goes. “so fuckin’ wet, princess” he grumbles, smearing messy kisses along your skin as you grab and scratch at his broad shoulders.

he grunts when he finally bottoms out, leaning the weight of his hips against yours as his fingers grope a little too hard at your skin, his eyes clenched shut as he tries to not lose himself in the needy coax of your pussy—he can’t embarrass himself like that.

“you still with me, sweet girl?” gojo drawls, his voice sounding needier than he expected, pulling back to admire how pretty you look underneath him before you kiss him once on the cheek, mumbling something affirming that has him drawing his hips back.

your pussy flexes again, as if trying to coax back in every inch you lose and he grunts, his jaw clenching before a breathier croon of your name falls from his lips. the first real thrust is a little too eager, clumsy and he grunts before readjusting his knees—beginning a real pace that’s a little rougher, one that has your toes curling when he hugs you closer, listening to him pant and growl softly between your own moans. “pullin’ me right in.. fuck.”

your hips thrust up to meet his and you’re surprised at how good he feels, but it’s because he’s paying attention to your reactions, the furrow of your brows, the way your mouth is dropping open to moan and the way your pussy is clenching around him tighter everytime he rocks forward, pushing his cock against something sensitive inside of you while his strong grasp keeps you in place—good signs, gojo thinks. “didnt expect you t’ feel just as fuckin’ sweet around my cock, angel.”

“could get used to seein’ you like this.” his pace only increases, gets faster, needier as he curses roughly until you’re body is jolting— each heavy thrust leaving you breathless and driven by his sheer strength as the headboard bangs loudly against the wall behind you.

each smack of his hips is loud and clapping, forcing his cock deeper into your slick cunt until his pelvis is grinding against your clit and you’re leaving pretty red marks on his back with your nails.

“feel too fuckin’ good, princess. you tryna kill me? pussy feels like it was fuckin’ made f’ me.” gojo grunts, his cock throbbing and thickening inside of you as he squeezes at your hips—his brow crumbling while he pants above you, a thin sheen of sweat across his chest and his snowy bangs are sticking slightly to his forehead. he wants to go longer, wants you to feel good too but he’s losing himself in you, in the fluttering pull of your body and your cunt.

“i-it’s okay, satoru.” you breathe, scratchy and breathless and that’s all it takes for the hot rush of bliss to take over him, his cock flexing as he spills his load inside of you with a surprised grunt while his body trembles above yours, tightening his hold around you in some attempt to pull you closer.

maybe it’s the warmth that consumes you as he fucks into you with shallow thrusts that throws you off the edge after him, the shuddering of his body over yours that makes the dull throb in your cunt burst to warm as you squeeze and cream around him. but gojo swears he’s in fucking heaven when he hears you cry for him.

“that’s it, fuck! that’s my girl..“ he groans, low and gravely as he smears more sloppy kisses against your cheek and jawline with a few more gentle thrusts until he finally rolls off of you, keeping his arm trapped under you as his lips curl into a drowsy grin. trying to pretend he doesn’t want to scream a little too giddily when you wiggle closer to kiss him once on the lips.

“keep treatin’ me like that and you’re gonna have me falling in love, angel.” gojo laughs breathlessly, his arm encouraging you to curl up closer to him so he can pepper a few obnoxiously loud kisses to your face when you hum out a “awww, am i your one and only then?” and you know he’s never been one to miss an opportunity to tease you. “oh? you askin’ me out, sweet thing?”

it’s almost too smug the smile he has on his lips the next day, shooting proud glares at his teammates when you bounce down the hallway with his varsity jacket draped over your shoulders.

but oh how he wishes he could commit their faces to memory as they notice the red scratches littering his back while he’s changing again, whistling and hollering at him about how much of a hero he is, but despite the smirk on his lips, his next words are laced with venom.

“oh, yeah? don’t wanna hear you talkin’ bout my girl again.”

© 2022 garoujo. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.

[aezuria]

*ੈ✎ two lovers entwined, pass me by

"and heaven knows i'm miserable now" —the smiths

content: leo valdez x roman! reader

╰┈▸ back cover: what if leo gets a little too tired of being the seventh wheel, wait- ninth wheel? (and meets a girl who is a d1 hater)

╰┈▸ warnings: leo and yn dont hate hate couples its a joke okay (unless its not a joke anymore pls give them love-) cursing, maybe ooc reyna? NOT canon compliant, a bit of angst but overall its silly

librarian's annotations: this is now my fav work if u guys dont like it then dont tell me pls 😣

leo was tired. sick and tired of everyone's public displays of affection! can they at least have the decency to romance each other in the privacy of their own rooms!? he did not build ten of them for no reason! there was absolutely no way they needed to suck face at the dining table. like, right in front of his food!?

okay, he was being a bit dramatic. the most everyone was willing to do in public was hold hands. and maybe share a kiss. but that was a kiss too much! and wasn't reyna supposed to off doing (cool) praetor shit!? ever since her and jason made up, leo has not been able to catch a break! can they stop eyefucking each other already!? (they are simply staring into one another's eyes)

"guys." leo swept his gaze over the dining table. he was seated at the end, giving him an unwarranted view of everyone paired up. apparently, love is also deaf, since no one turned their head to him.

"guys!" leo raised his voice. would he be heard over the sound of their unspoken conversations? heads finally spun to look at him, as if they just remembered he was there.

"can you guys like, eat? or do this-" he gestured widely. "elsewhere? and by elsewhere i mean not in front of me."

they all managed to give him the exact same look that was a mix of embarrassment at being called out, and something that said "poor leo, he's so single!" oh come on! jason made it even worse by putting a—what was supposed to be—comforting hand on his arm. "it's okay, leo. i'm sure you'll find someone one day."

this was not funny at all. and leo would know; he's the funniest guy ever! he snatched his arm away with an utterly aghast expression. "ew! get your pity off of me!" he shuddered, playing up the theatrics and wiped his forearm over jason, giving him his couple-cooties back.

the blond reeled back, laughing at his best friend's antics. "what was that for!?"

"don't act like you don't know!" he sneered accusingly.

nights were always the worst for leo. they were quiet, and not the calm, peaceful quiet when he would stay out and watch the sun set, the time before his happiness came to an end. it was an empty quiet, devoid of the laughter he caused, his thoughts become louder to fill up the silence.

(it was night when his mother died, when he had burned down the warehouse. when he had killed her. it was night when he awoke to the front door slamming, the sounds of drunken yells and glass splintering were backing instruments in an interlude of impending misery as he waits for the sun to shine once again. it was night when he ran away, with nothing more than his heavy heart and some left over change.)

leo's thoughts ran rampant with the feelings he kept in a glass box. always there, always seen, very fragile yet rarely opened. sometimes he would shake it a little too hard, and it would come crashing down like a bottle of alcohol, spilling insecurities instead of wine.

tonight was one of those times.

he doesn't know what brought it on. well, he lied; it was the sight of everyone at dinner, looking happy and complete without him. but he was used to it. it shouldn't have bothered him this much. but the more he let it stew, the more it hurt. leo loved his friends, sure, but he couldn't help but have a little bit of resentment at how easy it was for them to make up, make out. hell, even piper got a girlfriend, a mortal one at that! between traveling and fighting monsters, he didn't even know that was possible. what about him was so unlovable?

as he tossed and turned to shake off the voices in his head, he knew that this would be another sleepless night.

today was going to be a good day; leo could feel it in his gut. the skies were clear, there were no monsters coming to wake them up, and the engine was running smoothly. he had time to work on his little projects all day today! he hummed a tune as he walked to the engine room, or his work room for today, and spun a wrench in his hand. maybe he had a little skip to his saunter, a pep in his step. something about today was just so-

his gut lied to him. (maybe he was hungry?) the wrench clattered to the ground as he came to an abrupt stop. "oh. my. gods." leo paused between every word to further emphasize his disdain.

the sight was scandalous, completely and irrevocably scandalous. like, i-need-to-wash-my-brain-out scandalous. and leo was so not being dramatic this time.

percy and annabeth flinched away from each other in a half-asleep fumble, trying to act as if they had not just been caressing each other's bodies mere moments ago. (okay, maybe he was being dramatic again) this wasn't even a romantic place to do that! and leo would know, he's such a romantic guy. what was the purpose of his hard work of making bedrooms if they were just going to sneak off and desecrate his beloved engine room!?

"frank catching you two once wasn't enough?" leo huffed and bent down to pick up his dropped tool. "now i have to see the two of you fraternizing in my domain!?"

"that's not even the proper word-" annabeth had tried to hold back, but the urge to correct him was too much.

"i don't care! shoo!"

leo was so done. his perfect day had been ruined first thing in the morning! now it was late, he was tired, and he was finally heading back to his room to get some much needed rest after holing himself up all day working on random knick-knacks. a soft noise caught his attention. it was dim, the lights low since him and annabeth wanted to save electricity. he felt the familiar dread in his stomach. there was absolutely no way this could be happening.

"we shouldn't do this here..." wait, was that reyna?

"i know.. but i'm gonna miss you when you leave." no. no. NO. the direction the two very very familiar voices were coming from was right in front of the hallway to his bedroom. "please?"

leo was torn. he didn't want to walk in on them, but he couldn't spend another night in the engine room! he wanted his comfy bed right now!

he slapped a hand over his eyes and stepped heavily on the wooden floorboards, giving them a much needed warning. he heard the sound of fabric and shuffling, a satisfied smirk gracing his face.

"are you guys decent?" leo asked, still squeezing his eyes shut under his hand.

jason huffed, no doubt red in the face. "it's not like we weren't in the first place."

leo dared to open his eyes, finding that not only was his face red, but there were bruises starting to dapple his neck. ew. he did not want to think about how that came to be. "uh huh. well go and canoodle somewhere not in front of my room, please and thank you."

"canoodle?"

"reyna i told you, i don't wanna go!" you grumbled akin to a toddler, despite your status as the centurion of the first cohort. you took off your armor, dropping it to the ground haphazardly. "i don't need to see you and mister perfect canoodling in front of me!"

the praetor snorted and shook her head. "'canoodling?' you're the second person i've heard use that word this week." she paused, a thoughtful expression passing over her face. "you guys would get along well, i think. anyways, i'm not asking as a friend, i'm ordering you as praetor."

oh that was so unbelievably low! "what!? reynaa!" you stretched out the end of her name in an embarrassingly childish whine. good thing it was just the two of you here, otherwise no one would let you live it down. "i thought they were supposed to be going soon anyway!?"

"you heard me. and no, they're staying for a couple more nights. something about the engine being broken again?" she shrugged, an amused glimmer breaking through her usually serious front. "besides, we have a lot to discuss about the whole gaea thing, and who better to bring than you? you're my right hand woman."

you tried to hide a smile at her words, but sweet-talk always won you over. "ugh, fine. i guess i'll go."

something was up. you knew that from the moment she asked you to "wear something other than purple for once." who even owned anything but purple!? heck, you didn't even know reyna had different clothes outside of uniform! was that even allowed? you'd only ever seen her wear the same shirt as you, and a toga if the event accounted for it.

you sifted through your wardrobe, digging through masses of violet and coming up blank. oh well, guess its uniform time again. not that you minded all that much.

"you are changing." reyna shook her head, giving you a disappointed look only a mother could offer. this wasn't even a big deal! what was so wrong with your shirt? you rather liked purple!

"but why!? what better way to represent rome than this?" you gestured to your clothing. "aren't we talking business? also this is like the only shirt i have."

"because-"

"you just wanna look all pretty for your boyfriend." you cut her off, faking a gag. "doesn't mean i have to look pretty."

her shoulders tensed and you drew back, already anticipating her near-fatal blow.

"reyna? you know i was just kidding- OW!"

"-wait this is so my color actually." you checked yourself in her mirror. who knew reyna had fashion sense? although not much was required for a simple shirt and jeans.

she nodded and got to her feet. "suits you well. consider it my apology."

"huh? apology for what? for hitting me? aww you're so-"

"no. for what's about to happen to you." a solemn expression took over her face. she was well aware of your exaggerated hatred for couples. maybe you were just a bitter single, but she wasn't about to tell you that. she hoped you would soon be taken (not literally) and stop harassing her for her romantic escapades.

that was ominous. should you be scared for your life? "what the hell does that even mean?"

oh. now you knew exactly what it meant. as the two of you boarded the argo ii, she was immediately swept into a bone-crushing hug by jason, as if he couldn't bear to let her go ever again. you almost threw up at the sight. how could your beloved best friend be reduced to a lovesick schoolgirl at the touch of a man!? a man that had forgotten her! (and remembered, and apologized, and confessed his love- okay, you were starting to see her side quite clearly)

you turned your head away entirely, not wanting to see all that. but everywhere you looked, a new couple seemed to pop up. it was like your worst nightmare come to life. percy and annabeth? piper and some girl? frank and hazel? holding hands? since when were they a thing!? sweet hazel and shy frank? they were—admittedly—adorable, but still!

your only respite was leo looking just as exasperated as you. he must have it way worse; he had to live here with all of them. you shuddered. you were glad you weren't in his place right now.

you stood awkwardly to the side as they reunited. do they do this all the time? and everyone's just cool with it? maybe they can relate, with their taken-ness and all. ugh.

leo peeked at you curiously from the corner of his eye. your expression was as clear as day, face scrunched up in disdain as he traced your gaze to the practically infinite amount of couples onboard. he nodded internally, knowing exactly how you were feeling. but hey, he couldn't just let a pretty girl like you stay unhappy on his ship, not if he could help it!

"hey there," leo said smoothly, or as smooth as he could be after he had almost tripped on the crack between the floorboards. "i'm leo."

finally! someone had the decency to entertain you. "i know you! you're the guy that made octavian throw a hissy fit for firing at new rome!" shit, was that a weird thing to say for a first time interaction? too late now.

the brunette cringed at the mention of his possession. "uh, that's not what most people know me by, but yeah..?"

"oh? and what do most people know you by?" consider yourself intrigued.

leo perked up at your question, having been given an amazing opportunity to charm you. "well obviously it's my rugged good looks, and ingenious inventions, and-"

"we're starting dinner now!" jason called out from the dining table, before recieving an elbow to the gut from reyna and a harsh whisper from piper.

you were lost in your thoughts, zoning out as everyone spoke around you. leo's actually kinda... a tiny part of you popped the idea into your head. he was kinda, indeed. gods, i hate couples. a much larger portion of your mind seemed to yell. do you, or do you just hate being single? you asked yourself. huh. well it's probably-

a cough to your left caught your attention. it was leo. when his brown eyes met yours, you couldn't see a trace of that same boy who was described a traitor and a freak for firing at new rome. maybe something really did possess him.

"wanna know how i built this ship?" he asked excitedly. it was clear that the argo ii was his pride and joy.

"yeah!" you grinned, his cheerfulness rubbing off on you. who cares if he fired on new rome anymore? that was so last tuesday.

"so first, i had this cool metal dragon..."

unbeknownst to you, annabeth whispered across the table to reyna. "i think it's working?"

so, the dinner wasn't anything about business. you did learn a ton from leo though! that was business enough wasn't it? still, you couldn't help the pang of guilt that came with not getting anything work-related done. it was practically in your genes as a roman.

"y/n! you should stay the night!" hazel encouraged from the sofa across you. she was met with choruses of yeahs! and you shoulds! by the other girls, including reyna.

"oh!" you laughed awkwardly, trying to think of a way to politely turn them down. as much as you would love to stay and get to know them, you had a job to do. even if that job was getting all the legionnaires in your cohort to bed by curfew. (like seriously, the amount of times you've had to reel in couples you caught sneaking out was crazy. maybe that's where your hatred came from.) "i'd love to, but i have... centurion duties and all that."

"but reyna has praetor duties and she's staying," annabeth argued. her gray eyes shone with an intensity you only saw on the battlefield. what was going on?

that was new information to you. "you're staying?" you questioned your friend, who looked away with a hint of embarrassment.

"jason's leaving soon," she coughed. after being apart for so long, you could hardly blame her for wanting a little more time with him. "but that's besides the point. you should stay."

you crossed your arms, trying to come up with another excuse. "uh, i don't have clothes to change into?" it was a weak attempt, but you hoped it would work.

"i can lend you some," hazel piped up from the side, obviously eager to make you stay.

aw. she was always so nice. but you had a feeling there was an underlying motive you just couldn't figure out.

you tried again. "i don't think there's a spare room for me to sleep in."

"there's an empty one by leo," piper pointed out.

well, that was it. they refuted all your claims and left you no choice but to stay. you heaved a sigh and relented. "fine."

you weren't sure how it happened, but you ended up with leo again. so much for girls night. but you couldn't complain, leo was good company. he never let the silence stew between you guys for too long, always switching between one topic to the next, until somehow, you were both talking shit about your pathetic love lives and the insufferable ones of those around you.

"you wouldn't believe how many times i've caught these people! i swear, they can never keep it in their pants for more than two seconds! it's like, trauma at this point!" you rolled your eyes, absolutely abhorring the new legionnaires in your cohort.

leo laughed, a sound that made your heart skip a beat. he looked over his shoulder, before leaning in as if telling you a secret. "like two days ago, i caught jason and reyna making out! he had hickies all over his neck!"

you gasped at the scandalous behavior of the two most serious people you knew. "what!? no way..."

the curly-haired boy nodded vehemently. "yes way! it was so gross."

eventually, it was time for the both of you to say your goodnights. leo led you to your room, giving you a cheeky wink before he retreated into his own. you shut the door, and threw yourself into bed.

maybe it was the unfamiliar environment, maybe it was the fact that you were way up in the air, or maybe it was leo running circles around your mind. whatever the reason was, you couldn't sleep. or maybe you chose not to, just to have an excuse to see the stars. the time when they were out was the only time you'd allow yourself a break.

you crept out of the room, careful not to make noise as you made your way out onto the deck. the air was crisp, a gentle bite against your skin. it seemed that the god of the sky was on your side tonight, for the clouds were nowhere to be seen, only the full moon of artemis and the familiar stars shone. you made yourself comfy on the floor, leaning back against the railing as you took a deep breath.

it would be another night of no sleep for leo, that much he could tell. he groaned into his pillow. he couldn't tell if it was the new crush already forming on you, or his angst from a few days before. regardless, his nervous energy made him get up and pace the room, fidgeting with a screw he found on the floor. with footsteps light, he traveled the small area, before something told him to get some fresh air. he obliged. it was better than being in his stuffy room.

as he went up the stairs to the upper level, he caught sight of a figure in the distance. leo's curiosity spiked. he walked closer, the image of you coming into view. your eyes locked on his, a soft smile gracing your face at seeing him. "hey."

"hey." leo dipped his head in greeting, and sat down beside you. "mind if i sit here?"

you shook your head and returned your gaze to the starry night sky, a comfortable silence settling between you two, with only the tapping of leo's fingers against the floor filling the air. it was different, being alone with him. he seemed different. he was quieter, more mellow.

"i hate nights." leo blurted out, breaking the peace you two had shared.

"really?" you asked softly. he braced himself with the condescending remark that was sure to come after, but it never came. instead he received a genuine interest from you. "why's that?"

the boy felt his heart beat a little faster. was he really going to tell you, a girl he barely knew, his whole life story? perhaps it was the late hour that made him want to spill everything out. or the feeling that stirred whenever he looked at you, like magnets attracting. and so he did.

and you listened without any interruption, never followed up with that remark he was waiting for, never gave him the pity he hated. instead, you followed up with your own story.

"i love nights. for me, it's the only time i really feel free. when everyone else is asleep, and it's just you and the stars. away from all the rules." you looked up. they seemed so close from here, way up in the floating ship. they twinkled like glitter, flashing heys and hellos and nice to see you agains. it was beautiful.

leo admired you the way you did the stars. they reflected off your eyes and made your irises shine, the same way fire casted a diffused glow on everything around it. maybe nights weren't so bad after all, if every one of them would be spent with you.

and when you leaned against him to rest your head on his shoulder, whispering secrets into his ear? oh, caligula would have blushed. (leo knows he sure did)

"operation get leo a girlfriend, complete!"

"i thought we were calling it operation get y/n a boyfriend?"

"whatever. operation leoy/n is a success!"

"...you know we can hear you guys, right?"

[calxide]

⸻ SLEEPLESS NiGHTS 💤

kazuha x gn!reader | 500+ words ; no pronouns used for the reader. i, literally, cannot sleep so i wrote this fic pls help. written in lowercase. not proofread pls just let me sleep already. words: milk, punch are mentioned. sleeping tgt. god when will i have this. just pure fluff, some brainrot, and definitely no sleep for me.

“i can't sleep.”

it's past two in the morning, yet here you are, standing in front of a dazed, closed-eyed kazuha — a plushie in your arms, blanket on your shoulders, and an oversized pajama.

kazuha tried his best to force his eyes open. but he fails, so he just sends you a smile.

“come in.” kazuha almost hit his head on the doorframe when he turned around to make way for you to get in.

you plopped yourself comfortably on his sofa. “sorry, i had a terrible sleeping schedule last week. now, i can't get it out of my system.”

you've been pulling all-nighters last week because of the hell-stack of schoolworks you had to do, and now, you couldn't bring yourself to sleep, so you decided it's best to show up at your best friend's door at 2 am since you live in the same building anyway.

kazuha chuckled and went to the kitchen. “milk?”

“sure… i'll take anything to make me pass out.”

“a punch then?” he joked.

“why not?”

a few minutes later, he comes back with two glasses of milk in his hands. “here you go, sleepyhead.”

“you're the sleepy one here, dummy.”

“fake it til you make it, they say,” he joked and took a sip from his glass.

as soon as you both finished drinking, kazuha offered to bring it in the sink. after a while, he came back with a blanket enough to fit you two in—enough to cover the sofa you were sitting on.

you raised an eyebrow as if asking what's his plan for the night. kazuha simply shrugged, sat beside you again and covered you.

the blanket was fluffy. it was warm to be under the blanket, and even warmer with kazuha by your side.

you noticed him drifting off. kazuha has been a victim of your sleepless nights for quite awhile now, but he doesn't seem to mind. sometimes he'd ask you to tell him stories so your problems would come off your chest, sometimes he'd be the one to tell tales for you to fall asleep.

but tonight, kazuha's clearly tired, he's completely dozing off. his head was hanging and you're worried he might actually fall off the sofa.

“you can sleep on my shoulder, you know,” you whispered your offer. “or like, just lay your head on the sofa.”

without thinking much, kazuha immediately made himself comfortable using your shoulder as his pillow. you wondered if he had forgotten you were the one who he was supposed to help fall asleep.

although, you don't really mind. sometimes, it's not bad to lend a shoulder to a friend, literally.

you and kazuha just stayed like that for who knows how long — it was quiet, the comforting kind, with the only source of noise coming from the air-conditioner.

you examined his peaceful sleeping face. kazuha looked beautiful as he always does.

you smiled as you felt your heart flutter. ah, silly thoughts.

“good night, kazu,” you mumbled.

you planted a kiss on kazuha's hair, then laid your head on top of his. yawning, you finally felt the melatonin kicking in. and so, you drifted off to dreamland.

kazuha shifted his position a bit and smiled as if he was dreaming. “sweet dreams, y/n.”

NOTE hello hahahahaha 5 months in in 2024 and im back just because my eyebags are insanely bad and i havent had an 8-hour sleep since god knows when (exaggerated but u get my point) plzzz wait for me school is almost done. thanks hope i can fall asleep now... p.s. i havent written anything for so long now so i apologize...

[randombush3]

a sense of coming home

ona batlle x reader

summary: part two of this! ona and you are (frustratingly) still just friends

words: 6.5k (i have NO idea why i waffle so much but lets pls allow it)

warnings: there's like five secs of smut at the end

notes: this has been the most self-indulgent fic i've written because this is how i met my gf and so i am glad to show you a nice happy ending

again, the quote is from 'this side of paradise' (said gf's fav book - i don't recommend however because the protagonist is a twat)

also i didn't proofread bc i am exhausted and i am hungover and i am very ready to go to sleep (#globetrotting is not for the weak) x

There is something difficult about forcing oneself back to their toxic roots. Ona discovers as such as she presses her body into a temple of meaningless sex, but she does so because she is a driven person. Ona is determined to get over you, once and for all, except she’d quite like to stay friends (hence why she agreed when asked). She also thinks it would expose her to fall out because her feelings shouldn’t have existed anyway, so she technically shouldn’t be heartbroken? 

Anyway, Ona rampages through Manchester! They appreciate her accent – some even ask her to speak to them in Spanish when she is three fingers deep inside of them, to which she obliges with little fanfare – and it isn’t like the city lacks queer women. It is a super solid way to keep her busy, to tear her attention from hungrily checking your Instagram whenever possible. 

It’s also what lands her with coronavirus. She’s embarrassed to admit just how many people she has come into contact with when the club doctors ask her questions over the phone.

You send her a lovely message after hearing she is yet another fallen soldier. 

Ona is at home, isolating, and you are apparently trapped in Spain, unable to get into Italy. You haven’t quite made it to your parents’ house since your flight was supposed to depart from Madrid. “How come you’re not on the phone to one of your ‘connections’?” Ona asks suspiciously, wondering why this call has lasted longer than ten minutes. “Surely someone knows someone else and they can get you back home.” 

“I’m hardly out of my depth in my own country,” you remind her with a twinging sigh, pained that she has suppressed all memories of your childhood. “It’s not like I don’t speak Spanish.” 

“Didn’t you get rid of it in your head to make space for Italian and English? Oh, and French too, right? That’s where the fashion weeks are.” 

You laugh at her pride for knowing something about your job, but it is not to ridicule her. “I am speaking to you, aren’t I?” 

“In Catalan,” she points out. “Forget Spanish, but don’t forget Catalan.” 

“I can’t. It’s the language everyone uses to tell me about how fucked you’ve been lately.”  You take in a deep breath, uncomfortable with Ona’s silence but knowing your piece needs to be said. “Are you aware of what happened a few months ago? Why I missed the wedding?” One of your friends met her dream man and he whisked her off to Menorca for a small ceremony. Only the people she loved the most were invited, which included your childhood friend group. “We were in New York, a whole bunch of us. It was late but the show had been a big deal so we went out to celebrate, and… these ‘friends’, these people, they aren’t the same as you and me. Most of them are English, you know, and they come from very fancy schools where addiction is normal. Two of them ended up in the hospital that night – the bag hadn’t even made it round to me by the time they’d dropped. I know it seems far-fetched, but all I’m trying to say is that addiction has consequences. Bad consequences.” 

“So you’re not on my side?” Ona isn’t taking this too seriously. A few people have joked about her questionable new hobby, but no one has made it seem so dire that they have needed to get you involved. You who, of course, Ona will listen to. 

“I am always on your side.” 

That is her main take-away from the conversation, Ona chooses, when it ends an hour later. She swoons, meaning the last twenty women have been a waste of time, but she also tortures herself into ignoring the potential problem. Being a sex addict would be embarrassing, so she won’t be. 

Though your subtle shaming for her abundance of quick-fix flings is hypocritical, Ona would also hate for you to see her that way. You can avoid commitment all you like, but she is determined to be different to prove to you that she is a viable candidate, should you wish to stop stringing her along. It’s probably toxic; it probably means that you are both clinging onto a friendship that should either end or be labelled something else. It probably is the push and pull that has kept you interested, Ona thinks, because she knows that you like the chase. 

However, as much as she’d like to be freed of whatever game she is caught up in, she can’t seem to let you go like that.

… 

The next time Ona and you have a proper conversation about something other than how your love lives have been stunted or how people back home are not as successful as the two of you is when most of the restrictions have been lifted. 

You waited out the pandemic in Vilassar de Mar, much to your annoyance, but now that you can travel again, the first person on your mind to visit is your childhood best friend. You’re not as close as you used to be, having drifted further during even more years apart, but it does not dull your love for her, nor hers for you. 

Ona has changed her mind about Manchester and is forcing herself to like it. It works enough for a visit from you to be the last thing on her mind, and so she slows her response time down until the next arranged date to see each other in person is all set for the summer before the Euros in England.

You’re not quite home but you are in the country, and, with the pre-Euros camp in two days, Ona is spending the final few hours of calm left before the storm in the comforting presence of her mum and dad. 

And… you, apparently. 

“You weren’t supposed to be here yet,” is Ona’s greeting when she opens the front door. 

Your smile is wide and genuine, and you are holding a gift bag in one hand. There is a nice bottle of wine in the other. “Not even an ‘hola’?” When no reply comes, you swallow the emotions that have arisen; the ones that are maybe, just a little bit to do with how soft Ona looks with her hair down. And the slope of her jaw. And the ghosts of defined biceps that bulge even when she isn’t flexing her arms. “I’m dropping by to see your parents. I thought you were in Barcelona with your footballer friends.” 

“You visit my parents?” asks Ona curiously. 

“Of course.” 

With that, you side-step her and call out to her mother, announcing both your arrival and your desire to hand them their gifts. Dinner is just about to be served, and Ona is soon tasked with setting another place at the table for you as though the last ten years had never happened and your friendship hadn’t lost its innocence. 

Maybe it would be better for Ona to not know what it feels like to kiss you, to touch you, to – dare she think it – love you. It would certainly make things less painful, and would have saved her from catching at least one illness and spending a good amount of money on Ubers to escape from random apartments. It would make it easier to listen to you talk about your life in Milan, where you seem to exist in a bubble of incredibly attractive people who are desperate to hold hands and form a raft. 

“Modelling can be brutal,” you agree, nodding at Ona’s father as you follow on from his concerns about your career. He voices them regularly; whenever you see him. Ona realises you have spent a lot of time with her parents without her. “It gets quite competitive between the girls so I’ve been somewhat avoiding them. They’ve brought in someone new, scouted from Germany, I think, and I’m a little worried that I’ll have to switch agencies if they start prioritising her.” You glance at Ona, wanting to know if she is listening, hoping she is. You wish that she were as good at suppressing her feelings as you are. You wish she didn’t look at you like you hung the moon, because you know that you have to tell her you have hung it for someone else. “I’d move tomorrow, to be honest, but I’ve started seeing this guy and he’s convincing me to stay in Milan.” 

“The minute he is your boyfriend, you bring him here,” commands Ona’s mother in a tone she hasn’t yet used on her actual daughter (said daughter has never mentioned anyone before). “Show us a picture of him! Is he a model like you?” 

He is, and if Ona holds her fork tighter after she sees the photo you pull up, that is her business. You secretly take in her clenched jaw and furrowed eyebrows, and this might be the worst thing you have ever had to do. To see her so defeated, so hopeless, is upsetting, especially since you are harbouring the same feelings. However, you are able to admit when it is time to throw the towel in, and you can no longer live like this. 

Ona is too perfect for you. She is driven, hard-working, and funny. She likes to nutmeg little children on the street, and she likes to buy them an ice-cream if they slip a goal past her, slotting the flat footballs into imaginary nets and celebrating as though they have just won the Champions League. She knows a lot, more than she thinks she does. She cares about people, but sometimes it manifests in anger, in frustration. 

Any aspect of her is an aspect that you could love, and that is reason enough not to. Because how can you allow yourself to taint such perfection? 

But, in this unspoken rejection, the compliment is obscured from the recipient’s view. All Ona sees when you gush about how he buys you flowers and takes you out to dinner, is a burning, bright question. It flashes red and yellow, both as a warning and cry for attention. How can she compete if you don’t even recognise her as a competitor? 

…

“--And then they proceeded to finish a film they were halfway through as if it were the most normal thing ever,” Ona rants the minute she hits the concrete of Las Rozas, walking into the facility with Aitana and the other girls who travelled with her from Barcelona. Only the midfielder has been gracious enough to listen to the entire monologue, but the others joke that that is because Ona’s emotional state has led her to spiral in her native language. It is forbidden for them to openly speak Catalan in the Spanish camp, according to Jorge Vilda, who loves to hurl a ‘we can send you back to where you came from in an instant’ their way if he so much as hears a ‘bon dia’. Naturally, Aitana doesn’t give a fuck about the rule, although Ona chooses to believe that she is listening because she cares.

“Are you done?” Aitana asks thoughtfully, sucking on her bottom lip as she tries to absorb her friend’s crisis and formulate a valid, sensible response. The two have known each other for a while now, and Aitana remembers a time when Ona was relentlessly teased by their older teammates for being in love with her best friend. It is clear to her that those feelings never ceased, though she has heard through the grapevine (Leila Ouahabi) that you are now a model and you live somewhere in Italy. You’re part Italian, is what Leila also claims, having professed your ethnicity to a small huddle of fellow gossipers one day in the gym at the Barça training facility. 

“No! Nothing is ever done with her. It’s viscous and it continues in a horrid cycle that has me flapping around in circles like some idiot. I am one of her boys.” Ona groans dramatically, the sound perhaps a little too loud. A few of the girls in front of them turn around to see why a cat seems to have been strangled, but they quickly lose interest when they see it is just Ona and her disastrous situation. “Do you know how fucking humiliating it is to be one of her guys? I am a professional footballer! I play for Manchester United, one of the most historic clubs in the world, and I am about to represent my country in a major tournament. I am successful, Aita, and yet I am still not enough for her.” 

“Maybe she only likes men.” 

“A man has never made her scream like I have,” she bites back. Aitana blushes, but Ona is too far gone in her rage to hear her crudeness nor preserve her friend’s sanity. “She’s been like this since she decided she was gay! Isn’t that hilarious? ‘Ona, I think I’m gay’, she said. I know lesbian breakups can be hard, but there is no way my cousin fucked her up to this extent.” 

“I can’t help you with this, Oni,” Aitana laments, sorry to have to confess this to her friend. “I think you need to talk to her about it. A proper conversation to fix long-term issues, not like the ones you obviously had when agreeing to stop having sex and things like that. Only she knows what she’s thinking.” It is definitely not the advice Ona wants to hear, but she cannot deny the midfielder’s wisdom. “But for now, we focus on winning.” 

…

You are more than a little confused. 

To start from the beginning, Ona’s cousin fucked you up. She broke your heart, and that first impression of dating girls was incredibly traumatising. With girls, you don’t just kiss and sleep with them, you get close – really close – and then when you break up, it is like you have lost both a girlfriend and a best friend. 

Men are a lot simpler. Men like you and they aren’t shy about it. They can sometimes be just as cruel, but you have never felt invested enough to care too much. 

Some nights, you don’t fall asleep, tossing and turning between your sexual identity, aware that you don’t need to label it but desperate to… discover yourself. If you don’t understand that part of you, how will someone else? How can you be loved? How do you even know who you want to love you? 

For as much as Milan is great, it definitely doesn’t help you with your crisis. Girls in Milan like to do what they want. It is not uncommon for the models to kiss each other in clubs, in front of appreciative male gazes or not, and then reveal their engagement to their future husband the very next day. It’s easy to be drawn into such a bubble, but the minute you step out of it, you are hit with the real world. 

It’s what makes the pandemic so distressing for you personally, because you are forced to live like normal people for some time. Your eyes are held open and the question is shoved down your throat, and it really doesn’t help that Ona’s cousin never moved out of Vilassar de Mar. 

She sees you one day, saying hello from a suitable distance as you pick up milk as per your mother’s request. “I heard you’re modelling?” she asks with no agenda, no seductive glint in her eye. You notice the ring on her finger, and she feels the heaviness of your staring. “Oh, I got married a year ago. Did Ona not tell you?” 

You realise that you and Ona try to avoid talking about anything other than the love interests you have. “No, she didn’t. Congratulations, though. She’s a lucky woman.” 

“You don’t have to pretend you’re happy for me,” laughs the woman opposite you, amused and somewhat apologetic. “Look, I’m really sorry for how I acted when we were younger. I was definitely not the most mature person out there, and I know I hurt you.” 

“I cried for months.” 

“I’m sorry,” she repeats. You suck in a deep breath, trying to hold the memories of your pain at bay. “The first breakup is usually the worst but at least it gets better, as you probably know.” 

She looks at you expectantly, awaiting your confirmation. It never comes. 

“I haven’t dated another girl since,” you tell her, sounding rather detached from yourself. 

Her eyebrows furrow and she is clearly frowning behind her facemask. “What about Ona? I thought you were together when you lived in Madrid. It takes more than a friendship to do what you did.” 

You were originally going to go to university in England. It was your dream, and Ona wasn’t entirely aware of the situation because you hadn’t wanted to tell her you were leaving. Then she was sent out on a professional contract to Madrid, and it wasn’t like you were the only one leaving. 

Ona’s cousin, years ago, had suggested that you go to Madrid if you wanted to get away from Vilassar de Mar. “You’ll be close enough to come home when you’d like, but not so close that you’ll feel as though nothing has changed,” she had said. 

No one had known about your offers in England aside from your parents. And Ona’s cousin, who’d only found out because you had called her, drunk on celebratory champagne, because you had to tell someone. 

“You gave up a dream for her because you didn’t want her to be alone.” 

“I moved to Milan. In the end, she was alone.” 

“You sound like you regret it,” she replies, nodding once at you to bid you farewell and then heading over to a woman who is standing with a puppy in her arms. You watch as she pulls down her mask and kisses her wife, her eyes shining with love and happiness, and your blood runs green with jealousy. 

You hate Ona’s cousin for devastating you once more. 

Do you regret it? 

It’s unclear. 

You try to make sense of it when you don’t hesitate to fly back to Italy the minute you can, going home to lick your wounds at Ona’s non-committal response to meeting you when you are in London the next month. It hurts that she is no longer at your beck-and-call, but you are somewhat happy for her. You know that lines have been crossed and that she has suffered for it. You know that you are probably the one at fault here. 

This time in Milan, you don’t fight it as much. You kiss other girls and let them go home to their boyfriends; you submit to the thing you had convinced yourself you would never become. 

As you drive yourself deeper and deeper into your stereotype, the thought of Ona gets pushed away and newer, more culturally-acceptable fantasies come to mind.

It takes a photoshoot for him to ask you out on a date. 

It takes returning home and gaining the approval of Ona’s parents (who are far more open than your own) for you to agree to be official. 

You don’t ask Ona what she thinks. She’s busy, you reason, because she is representing Spain at the Euros. She won’t care who you are dating and she certainly doesn’t need it rubbed in her face. 

There are many reasons why you go out with him. 

One is that you do like him; he’s nice, he’s funny, he treats you well. (He’s not Ona.) Another is that rent is going up and him sharing the load is helpful. (He’s not Ona.) There is also that he is very popular within the agency, and your chemistry on camera is enough to keep your jobs rolling in and casting directors satisfied. 

He’s not Ona. You know that. 

That's the whole point. 

If he were Ona, you’d be deeply in love with him. If he were Ona, you would never leave the house, never leave his embrace, never leave the little bubble created when it is just the two of you and no one else. If he were Ona, you would be excited about the conversations he gently guides you into; marriage, children, where you are going to live one day. You’d miss him more when he isn’t here. You’d care. 

But you just… don’t. 

Another year passes, more Ona-less than the last, and then she is suddenly coming back home to Barcelona, a medal around her neck and word of a relationship floating above her head. 

You could ask her about it if you wanted to because she is still one of your closest friends, but the truth is, you really, desperately don’t want to hear it. While Ona has been falling in love with someone else, you have been proving your stupid feelings to yourself. 

The act (your current relationship) lowers enough for you to go home for Christmas. You leave Milan as though fleeing from a hurricane, and you refuse to control the damage until you have entered the new year. Your parents aren’t entirely sure they want you moping about the house, confused how someone so successful can revert to a moody teenager the minute they are back in safe territory, and they heavily encourage you to accept an invite that was extended out to you a few months ago. 

Your friends are going skiing in Andorra, and they’d like for you to come with them. 

“Ona won’t be there,” one of them regretfully informs you. “She said she doesn’t want to make things weird. She has a girlfriend – or, I don’t know, a talking stage. She wants you to have fun.” 

“But Ona and I are friends,” you try to explain, feeling exposed by the look of pity she gives you; the same look someone receives when they find out their ex has gotten married or something similar. As a defensive mechanism, you hastily pull out your phone and dial her number. Everyone watches you, now uninterested in their food as you dine and plan your holiday. 

Ona picks up on the third ring, escaping her dinner with Lucy and rushing into the cool, nighttime air of Barcelona. 

“Hi?” she says – asks – with raised eyebrows, wondering if you’re in danger. 

“You’re coming skiing with us, aren’t you?” 

Your friends hide their laughs behind their hands, surprised by how firm your tone is. You do not need it for Ona, because she does anything you say regardless, but they enjoy seeing this side of you. This is someone who has had to fend for herself in a foreign country. 

Removing the phone from her ear for a moment, Ona sighs, disappointed in herself. 

“Yeah, of course. I’ve missed you, you know.” 

…

Skiing is not something Ona is really allowed to do. As a footballer, her legs are what pay her wage. Career-destroying planks of metal are not the best way to spend the dying embers of the year. She knows that. She does, she swears, but she is so eager to go that Jonatan cannot crush her dreams. He tells her, “if you get injured your contract will be reviewed, Ona Batlle,” and she promises him that it won’t happen. Nothing bad is going to happen. 

It will be the first time she has spent more than a day with her childhood friends, and she is unbelievably excited. 

Lucy finds it adorable and makes it known, helping her pack for her trip, versed in what to bring because her sister skis or something like that (Ona can’t really focus on her almost-girlfriend's monologue). Lucy likes Ona a lot, and it makes her stomach flutter when she thinks about Ona and her friends talking about them. She’s sure her feelings are reciprocated, and she cannot wait for Ona to return to her in the new year, all smiles and lingering hangovers, and ask her to be her girlfriend. Officially. 

Your friends convene in the centre of Vilassar de Mar with two cars between you. There are ten people coming. 

Someone, most-likely trying to keep the peace, instructs Ona into one vehicle and you into the other. The drive isn’t too long, but you suppose that the tension is uncomfortable for those who aren’t accustomed to maintaining a friendship despite the weight of it. 

It’s five days, and you are determined to have fun. 

Ona is naturally good at this, although she claims it is her first time. You, living in Milan, are just as advanced. 

By the third day, the both of you agree that going off together to do some of the harder runs will be harmless. Spending the day together won’t feel like a date or a romantic holiday. Watching Ona glide over the compacted snow won’t be attractive, watching her cocky smirk as she scales the bumps along the side of the piste won’t do anything. 

It won’t. (It does.) 

And it just has to be the third day that someone pulls out two bottles of tequila and a drinking game that is going to ensure every single one of you is off your face by midnight. 

In rooms opposite one another, you and Ona call your respective partners and tell them about how great a time you are having, actively avoiding telling them about who you spent the day with as though it counts as cheating. It doesn’t, technically. Nothing has happened. But, still, it feels intimate and secret; forbidden. 

Then, there is a shout that rings through the house. Everyone comes to the table; the party has begun. 

Ona finds out that she is absolutely terrible at drinking games, and loses in every way possible. 

You find out that she is still just as touchy when she is drunk. 

Your friends try not to comment on it, all having agreed upon yet another passive role in such an irritating situation. Their non-interference almost ceases by the time Ona climbs onto your lap, head turning as she whispers something into your drunk ears, making you laugh privately. In fact, someone has to hold someone else back before they shout at the two of you to make out or break up. 

But it’s not really necessary, their prompting, because it hits a certain hour and… nothing else matters anymore. 

Ona has been touching you the whole night and you have finally reached your limit. 

Boyfriend be damned, you lead her to your bedroom. 

She asks you many times if you still want this, and you cannot think of anything to say other than ‘yes’. 

You’re not as drunk as she is, and you both know that, but everything feels so perfect and right. 

When you wake up the next morning, your anger is more at yourself than the sleeping woman beside you, but she is an outward target for such a boiling emotion and it just makes things easier. 

“Ona.” You shake her awake, not caring for her hangover. “Ona, I can’t believe we’ve done this.” She rubs her eyes, dazed and confused for a moment but coming to her senses soon enough. “I have a boyfriend, Ona, and… I don’t like you like that.” 

It’s not true. 

It’s really, really, really not true, but the fact that you have said it is enough for Ona to leave your room with the intention of never seeing you again. 

She gets the train back to Barcelona, turning up at Lucy’s flat in floods of tears, and barrels straight into those strong arms with the intention of never mentioning what she has done. 

…

You break up with your boyfriend a month later. Or rather, he breaks up with you, tired of being messed around, tired of your hesitation to fully commit. 

The break-up is not the most upsetting thing you’ve been through, but your ego is a little bruised.

You try to make it look like you are having a great time in Milan, even though the agency has once again discarded your file and overlooked you for shoots you used to book in an instant. You try to seem like things aren’t falling apart, but it’s of no use when your father calls you and tells you that your mother is ill. 

It isn’t cancer but it’s similar, and you know that you need to come home.

You pack your bags and leave without a second thought, because maybe Madrid was far enough. Maybe there is a reason Ona signed for her home club again and most of your friends still live relatively close to their parents. 

Maybe you are not meant to be separated from those you love, because running away is futile if you are always going to end up together again. 

In Barcelona, a modelling agency eagerly draws up a contract with you. Although you are from there, your career being based in Milan previously creates an international allure about you (or so they say), and you are assured that work is going to rush towards you as though someone has just knocked down a dam. 

Your job is secured, your mother begins treatment, but there is something you cannot shake off. 

It hurts to think of Ona, to think of how you left things, but it helps, too. Seeing her face in your mind is comforting. You hear her voice as you drift off to sleep, and you let it soothe you in your dreams. 

“Ona has a girlfriend,” her mother tells you when you next visit them. Her frown is unexpected because all she has ever wanted is for her children to be happy and loved. “It’s not right, it doesn’t feel right.” You begin to shrug your shoulders and crawl into your shell, but she interrupts your thought process; “I think you should go see her.” 

“Why?” 

The woman rolls her eyes. “Just do what I say.” 

You nod because she is so scarily sure about it, and you… It’s hard to believe, but you call Ona. 

She picks up. 

“I was sorry to hear about your mum.” 

“Don’t worry. She’s fine.” 

“Are you back at home?” 

“Yeah, I am.” You pause. “Well, not quite. I’m living in Barcelona.” 

Something fizzes in the air; pops, crackles. 

“Need me to show you around the city?” 

And it’s Ona, so how could you say no? 

…

Your visit goes very well. 

She takes you out to dinner and shows you around her neighbourhood. She introduces you when she runs into people she knows, and she is insistent about dragging you to her football match on the weekend. 

Everything is seemingly forgiven and Ona is intent on integrating you back into her life. 

She wants you to feel at home, though she knows you should already, and she wants to lessen the stress of hospital appointments and death and, if not death, then a difficult recovery. 

You are sitting in her apartment – now devoid of all signs of Lucy – on her comfortable sofa, watching something together after a day of walking around and sealing up the cracks that formed in Andorra.

Sitting leads into cuddling and then into wandering hands that eagerly roam underneath layers of fabric.   

Ona’s breath hitches as you brush the hard lines of her abs, your hands particularly drawn to them and just how strong she has become. “You must have only felt them on men,” she offers as an explanation. “How many have you slept with in comparison to–?”

And your hands stop.

“Sorry,” Ona mumbles, seemingly upset at her outburst. “I’m just curious. I can’t work you out.” She can’t quite look you in the eye, mainly due to the logistics of your position, but she isn’t sure she wants to see the truth attached to her statement. 

You question if that’s a good thing, the fact she needs to ask; the fact that she has no choice but to communicate. It was going to happen sooner or later. “A few,” is what you settle on. Ona leaves it at that, carefully pulling the hair tie from your plait, unravelling it with one hand as the other rests against your stomach in an embrace. You smile. “You’re not going to ask who?” 

Her fingers stop for a moment. “No.” She speaks so quietly, her voice almost a whisper in your ear. “I don’t care about them.” You relax into her more, feeling her against your back, feeling the softness of the blanket against your feet as it hangs at the edge of the sofa. 

“Who do you care about, then?” 

“You.” 

Carefully, both her hands hold your hips and she sits you up, smiling as she does. You tell her she’s showing off, she replies that you are always showing off. To that, you brush those hands from your sides and lean down to kiss her, more decidedly for once; more in control. It’s a surprising feeling for both of you, the forcefulness. Urgency. Not unfamiliar, but unexpected for this time on this day. 

The last time you kissed Ona, you had a boyfriend. 

Your mouth goes to her neck as soon as she decides that she wants her hands back on your hips, pushing you down into her lap. It’s now a competition, you think. She’s quickly coming completely undone by your kissing and biting, but you are not ignoring the feeling as she makes you grind down, makes you need that friction. “Fuck,” you moan in her ear. She grips you tighter. 

You start to pull off her shirt having had enough of the grey between you, asking if it’s okay, if she’s sure she isn’t too tired. Her reply is, “take it off, god,” and then the removal of your clothes that get thrown just shy of the wine glasses set out on her coffee table. Leggings aren’t the most practical for impromptu sex, but she’s quick and smooth and someone who has definitely done that before. 

With your bare chest on display and almost nothing between Ona and you, she lifts you up for a moment with the intention of flipping the two of you, getting you on your back. You pause for a moment, trying to decide if she’s doing it because she wants to or because she thinks that’s the only way to do it, but her hands are moving now, up your sides, round the front of your chest and you relax. She laughs quietly, amused, because the tension dissipates, dissolving like sweet, sweet sugar in hot coffee as soon as your legs wrap around her back. 

Ona asks before she does it, picking you up and laying you back down without needing to part her lips from your own. You watch her as she sits up, body in between your thighs. “You’re going to just stay there?” She shakes her head. “I can top,” you tease, a stark contrast from how it was the last time you did this. Ona doesn’t like being told she can’t do something. However indirectly. 

“Yeah?” You nod, biting the smirk out of your lips. “I don’t care.” 

You are in the process of rolling your eyes when her cocky mouth is put to good use. Your underwear was taken off at some point earlier — you hadn’t realised. Ona’s head moves between your legs, up and down, your hand that isn’t holding onto the sofa in her hair, the soft waves lacing between your fingers. 

She’s good at it; thorough, practised. Her tongue circles your clit for a moment before dipping into your entrance. Something about the cockiness of her movements, her tongue, her hand rubbing between her own legs, makes everything more surreal, more blissful. She moans softly, lips kissing their way up your body, hands no longer focused on herself. Instead, they take the place of her mouth, two fingers inside you as quickly as it takes for her to ask if you are okay to carry on. Your reply (“yes”) is cut off quickly by her mouth on yours, tongue swiping at your bottom lip in another question of permission. You can taste yourself on her. 

At her command, you sit up, letting her pull you back onto her lap as she sucks at your neck. “Don’t leave any marks,” you warn as her teeth pull a whimper from your supposed stoicness. “I don’t want the makeup artists asking questions.” It comes out too late, because you feel her teeth graze your collarbone quickly, not painful, no, but something that feels so, so good. “Ona.” She sighs in disappointment and adjusts where you are in her lap, so your legs are either side of her thigh. 

You find yourself rocking slowly, letting her savour your breasts between her hands and her mouth. She whispers that she wants to see you come, that you don’t need to hold back – not with her, not ever – so you start grinding down, harder, faster. Her hands drop back to your hips, guiding your movements, forcing you to slow down when she feels everything building up. Each time, you let out a “fuck” and attempt to go against her grip to get that friction. “Not just yet,” she mutters, no longer touching you anywhere other than where her hands meet your hips and her thigh presses between your legs. 

“Fuck off, Ona,” you breathe, frustrated. “When, then?” 

She slows the pace even more. “Can you last a little longer?” You look at her face, brushing away the strands of hair that have fallen over her eyes, ghosting your fingers along her cheek, running your thumb along her lips. She smiles again, eyes creasing slightly. 

As her hands drop to cup your face, you say, “you’re beautiful.” 

Ona blushes. 

You look down at her exposed cleavage, nipples pebbled against the sports bra that is unusually low-cut. It might border on intense staring as you begin to grind against her with the intention of actually getting off now. She laughs, saying her eyes are higher up than that, but going back to her trail of kisses along your jaw nevertheless. 

For what seems like longer than a few seconds, the build up finally stops, the tower toppling over in a rush of pleasure. Ona’s hands move your hips as your head drops to rest on her shoulder. She talks you through it, telling you that you look so pretty, telling you that she’s so turned on. 

And that’s when she whispers it. 

It has taken years to get to this moment, many of them filled with unnecessary suffering. 

It has taken years but it does not matter. 

Ona tells you that she loves you and that is when you have finally come home. 

[seungisms]

🖇️📁 𝐒𝐊𝐙 … 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 '𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐄! 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆'

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff and general dumbassery

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: himbo!changbin, himbo!jisung, tiktok pranks and danni's shitty attempt at comedy

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: ngl i made felix shorter than the rest cause i just know his ass would'nt fall for this shit, my guy would probably be the one to do this prank on u 😭 similar to my last tiktok prank reaction, check it out here! reblog for a kiss, feedback much appreciated!

𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍

your stupid tiktok pranks are the bane of this mans existence

such a boomer

stares at you like (ಠ_ಠ) as you’re trying to push him into your room to hide

he already has to deal with seven other idiots causing him emotional distress on a daily basis and yet here you are joining in?

breaks into a sweat as soon as the word ‘boyfriend’ leaves your lips

literally like ???? idk if you knew this but,,, I’M your boyfriend 

will dig his feet into the carpet as you’re trying to push him through the door and won’t move until you explain yourself >:(

you just think he looks sososo cute confused and frustrated so you crack pretty quickly 

after u explain he just does that disappointed dad sigh™️ and walks away 

if u weren’t such a cutie he would’ve ditched ur ass by now istg

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐇𝐎

so close to snapping 

can’t deal with ur shit anymore

(he loves you really)

(but fr he’s on his last straw, you stress him out)

literally just chilling on one of his rare days off scrolling through his phone when you strike

now ur all up in his face like ‘bro u need to hide! my boyfriend is on his way!!’

legit just stares you out for a minute straight before just

‘get tf away from me 😃’

and you can tell he’s not gonna fall for another one of ur stupid pranks but u also can’t give up now cause u made a bet with felix so

‘no i’m serious! he’s like two minutes away, hide!!’

will continue sitting there

trust me he thinks ur really cute but he also wishes you’d just stfu once in awhile

if you continue on with your little prank he’ll just turn around and say ‘nah, i kinda wanna meet this guy now’

there’s no winning with his stubborn ass trust me

𝐒𝐄𝐎 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐁𝐈𝐍

was asleep

so peaceful

then suddenly a wild girlfriend (you) appears

you felt kinda bad for disturbing him cause !! he looked so cute !! all pouty and sleepy

but still tiktok pranks reign superior than ur boyfriends sleep

so fking confused and doesn’t know what tf is going on

his fight or flight kicks in as soon as ur panicked whisper of ‘quick! my boyfriend is on his way, you need to hide!’ hits his ears

tucks and rolls right underneath that bed

will peek out from under the bed and be like ‘this good? 👍’ pls

himbo!changbin for the win

will hide for a good half hour before he realises 

hey

wait

i’m the boyfriend

bitches about it for at l e a s t two weeks

𝐇𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐍

gets so worked up about it lmao

will be in the middle of a nice ~peaceful~ snack 

before being rudely interrupted

just stares u in the face with that real bitchy eye squint he loves to do

‘oh u think ur funny’

and you almost give up on the prank cause he’s just giving you the side eye while munching on his snack

loves to make you feel dumb 

he gets so annoyed over it but the more you insist on him to hide the more he actually starts to believe it

deep down he knows it’s a joke but also gets jealous over this non-existent side piece you have <3

‘okay fine, ill hide. but only cause ur cute.’

hides all grumpy in the storage cupboard with his snack

all you can hear are angry chewing noises

(ex: soobin)

another one to bring this up in future and bitch over it

whenever you ask him to help you with smith he’ll just be like

‘oh why don’t you get your boyfriend to help you’ and walks away

petty af but we been knew

but he’s pretty so you let him have it

𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

so :o

listens very intently as you explain that your boyfriend is on his way and immediately goes into panic mode

‘okay i have a plan’

freaks out and drags you into the empty space below your stairs while shushing you

1/3 bimboracha 

‘he won’t find us here’

doesn’t understand why ur laughing ??? this is serious ???

9/10 chance he doesn’t know what’s actually going on

another one that takes way too long to figure out that he’s your boyfriend 

so close to organising an intervention against ur tiktok pranks

will make a 20 minute powerpoint on why tiktok should be banned in the dorms and will make you sit through the whole thing

idk just don’t do this to him, his dramatic ass wouldn’t be able to handle it

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐗

lee felix tiktok king™️

already knows what you’re trying to do before you even do istg

he’s ten steps ahead of you at all times with this tiktok shit

catches you looking at him out of the corner of your eye all morning and giggling and kinda had an idea of what you were planning

also he saw ur tiktok likes

this isn’t a cute little prank anymore this is a competition

on guard as soon as you strike and ready to shut that shit down

‘felix, quick hide in my closet! my boyfriend is gonna be here soon!!’

literally just goes

‘i’m ur boyfriend stupid’

and that’s that

there’s no fooling him

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍

you planned to strike while he was asleep cause that’s the only time ur sure he won’t just immediately dismiss you and be like ‘tf are you on?’

swats you away a good three times as you try to shake him awake

does that grumpy teenager thing where he pulls the covers over his head and just hopes you’ll leave

if he can’t see u then u can’t see him

groans as soon as he hear that stupid tiktok line leave your mouth

just goes

‘okay?? i’m asleep anyway??? literally just hang out with him in the living room and go away???’

does not give a shit

you really wanna get him though

so you invite hyunjin over

and as soon as he hears another guys voice coming from the living room you bet ur ass he’s practically throwing himself down those stairs

just stares at you and hyunjin 

so fking out of breath

grumpily walks back up those stairs and you s w e a r  you heard him mumble ‘bitch’ under his breath 😭

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍

confused

but also will do whatever you say cause he’s whipped af

human personification of that one hamster meme when you come rushing up to him freaking out about how your boyfriend was on his way over

panics with u

he doesn’t like seeing you stressed :( 

but in the middle of ur ranting he’s like

‘okay wait i can just hide in there- wait, boyfrIEND?! BUT I’M UR BOYFRIEND!!!1!!!!!11!!’

literally doesn’t know what to do when you just shush him

stays hiding in there until you take pity on him and tell him to come out

does his little walk of shame out and just stands there for a good five minutes staring at you

has never felt betrayal like it

has trust issues now

© 𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐦𝐬 — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠/𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝.

[mannaima]

Heard you wanted some dark requests for Joel? I have one!

How about Joel with a reader half his age. She’s an orphan growing up in the QZ. A sunshine type that’s always smiling and bright. She ends up striking a friendship with Joel but misses all the signs that he’s becoming infatuated with her because she’s naive. She doesn’t realize that people are terrified to get close to her because Joel’s made it clear he’s staked a claim on her.

One day she tells Joel she’s been asked out on a date. She’s nervous because she’s never gone out with someone and has no idea what to do. It’s not like the schools in the QZ are any good based off or what Ellie’s said. So she goes to her friend to ask him advice about sex. She misses how insanely jealous he’s becoming and how possessive he gets. Eventually he decides to show her, instead of telling her, what sex is like.

The next day she hears that the guy that asked her out is dead. Apparently Joel shot him while on a job as a guard because he showed signs of infection (how convenient). She’s heartbroken over losing him and doesn’t see how satisfied Joel looks. She has no idea he’s obsessed with her and will do whatever it takes to keep her.

Lesson

Summary: You look for advice from a friend, but he uses that to his advantage.

Warnings: NSFW (18+), smut, dub-con(ish), age gap (reader is 20 and joel is 56), joel being possessive, murder (at the end)

Word count: 5K

Summary: I like this! For reference, Ellie will be the same age as the reader, which is 20! Also, this is in a universe where ellie and Joel are in the QZ at an older age (yeah totally not canon but neither is any of this) Btw I didn’t proofread this at alllll so if u see any mistakes ignore it pls.

You had a good day so far, Ellie had invited you out drinking, which you happily accepted! Joel and Ellie had become really good friends, and you always looked forward to seeing them in your life. You had a simple life, go to work, come home, talk with your friends, and go to sleep. You enjoyed the laid back life, which was well deserved after the hell you spent a majority of your life. Though daily life wasn’t easy, it was much better than what you imagined you could’ve been if you had just made one wrong move fighting an infected. 

Sadly, it wasn’t very easy to make friends, a lot of people usually stayed away from you. You didn’t understand why, but you at least had Ellie and Joel to be in your life! 

“Ellie! Shush!” You both were laughing, you smacking Ellie’s shoulder as she said a dirty joke. 

“C’mon! You can't tell me that wasn’t funny!” She knew you too well, Ellie knew just how to make you embarrassed yet shift into a fit of laughter. You took a swig of your drink.

“Well, that might be true… But you can’t say that out loud! God forbid someone heard us talking about that…” You giggled under your breath.

“Talking about what? Say it or I will!” Ellie spoke a little louder.

“Please don’t.” You said, laughing with red cheeks.

“DIC-” You covered her mouth and both laughed to your heart's content. Although you loved Ellie, you admit she could be a little vulgar.

“Ellieee!” You whined “Shushhhh.” She laughed, and you uncovered her mouth.

“What do you know about that anyways, huh?” You mocked her, and she stuck her tongue out at you.

“You’re right, I should be screaming about pussy shouldn’t I?” You both shared a laugh, and she rested her hand on your shoulder,sharing a look. You both took a swig of your drinks.

“Hey Y/N!” Confused, you turned around, only to see a familiar face.

“Oh, hi Xavier!” A big smile grew on his face. Xavier was a friend you had met from work, both bonding over a familiar love for dogs initially, until you both started to talk more frequently at work. He walked over to you and Ellie, his hands nervously rubbing his arm.

“This is my friend, Ellie.” Ellie gave him a wave, and he gave her a smile and wave, his whole demeanor seeming a bit more nervous than usual, very shaky.

“So, um, Y/N…” You smiled, and nodded, letting him continue. “I was wondering, um, If we.. No… I-If I… Fuck…” He stopped and closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tomorrow. Like… A date.” Your eyes widened at this, breath hitching. You had never been on a date before, you don’t even think you’ve held a guy's hand before! You looked at Ellie nervously, who had a huge grin on her face, nodding vigorously. You looked back at Xavier, who had a terrified look on his face, before you nodded your head yes.

“O-Of course! That sounds awesome!” Xaviers look of fear was replaced with a huge toothy grin, and nodded.

“Alright, awesome! I’ll pick you up tomorrow night! S-See you!” He promptly turned around, and walked through the other people in the common area. Ellie grabbed your cheek and turned you to face her.

“Y/N!! You just got asked on your very. First. Date!!!!” You both squealed like preteen girls at a sleepover, you couldn’t believe it! 

“Oh my god! This is so crazy. What do I wear. What should I do? What if he wants to kiss? What if he wants to…” Your eyes widened to look at Ellie. She laughed and raised her eyebrow.

“What?”

“Ellie… What if he wants to… Have sex…” You whispered the last part, and she laughed and slapped her knee.

“Ellie this is serious!”

“Why are you nervous? You know how that stuff works, right?” She gave you a laugh, before realizing you weren’t laughing. 

“Y/N… You aren’t serious, are you?”

“The schools at the QZ sucked, okay! They didn’t want us procreating!”

“Okay but… You seriously don’t know how sex works? You’re twenty years old dude!” You shushed her, trying to quiet her before others could turn their heads to see what you two were going on about. 

“It’s not my fault! I just never…Took much thought about it…” You put your head down in embarrassment.

“Hey, hey, Y/N. I’m just teasing. Sorry, I took it too far. But it's not all bad. I could teach you- No wait. I can ask Joel!”

“Joel?” You were confused, Ellie knew just as much as him, why did you need Joel to explain it.

“Joel’s actually got experience with… Y’know. Guy on girl action. So it would make more sense if he taught you, plus, he gave me the birds and bees talk!” You cringed at the thought. That talk was supposed to be given to kids who barely hit puberty, not twenty year olds. You nodded, and twiddled your fingers to try and ease your nerves.

“C’mon, it’s getting late. I’ll drop you off and Joel’s so it won't be as awkward with me there. Cause I’ll probably laugh every time Joel says penis.” You both giggled and walked to Joel’s apartment, the alcohol in your system making you a little less nervous about having ‘the talk’ with Joel.

“Alright Y/N, I’ll see you tomorrow, Good luck!” Ellie hugged you tightly, and did the same. You had barely realized you were already in front of Joel’s apartment. Taking a deep breath, you gave the door a few knocks before stepping back slightly. Hopefully he answered.

After a few seconds of silence, a few clicks were heard before the door opened, revealing a straight faced Joel.

“Hi Joel!” You said, maybe a bit too cheery, before giving him a little wave.

“Hey sweetie. What do you need?” He gave you a small smirk, body leaning out the door frame.

“I- Um. Can I come in?” Joel nodded, and moved to the side, allowing you to walk in. You felt a little nervous to ask him, nervous that he was gonna view you differently.

“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?” You looked up at him, his familiar face making you feel more comfortable, he was just a friend. A friend who could help you.

“So… Basically. Uhm…” You fidgeted around. “A guy… Xavier, asked me out.” You didn’t see the anger in his eyes when you said that. “And I’m super excited! But I’ve never been on a date with someone before. And I’ve never kissed a guy or held his hand or done anything romantic before.” You stopped your ramblings. “I was just wondering if. You could have the…. ‘The talk’ with me…”

“The talk?” Joel raised his eyebrow at you.

“Yeah! You know. Like the birds and the bees?” You nervously giggled, Joel’s expression worrying you. He just stared at you, and you couldn’t read his emotions. It was until he had a small, very awkward, smile on his face.

“Oh, alright. I guess I could tell you.” He walked over to his bed and pat the seat next to him. A wave of relief washed over you as you took the seat next to him, bouncing on the mattress. You looked up at Joel, his eyes staring into yours.

“Alright. So, basically, when two people love each other, they may feel… Hot. Warm. This is called arousal, but most people call it being horny.” You nodded. Taking a mental note of the word.

“And the man’s penis, his private part, gets hard.”

“I know what a penis is, Joel.” You giggled, and he put his hands up in defense.

“Just making sure! Anyways, the man gets hard. And the woman, well, she gets wet.”

“Wet? Like how?” Joel kind of stared at your legs for a little, seeming to debate in his head about a few things. He took a deep sigh and looked at you once more.

“How about I show you?” You gulped, what did he mean by show you?

“What? D-Do you mean like… Do it with me?”

“Yes. It’s better to show you. Plus, I doubt a guy like Xavier would know what he’s doing.” You nodded at this, realizing he was right, it would be better to know what you were doing than embarrass yourself.

“O-Ok. Show me, please?” You sounded so cute to Joel. He couldn’t get enough of you.

Joel had done so much to prevent any man from getting close to you, hell, even women too. You didn’t see the way he held a chiv up to people's necks just by mentioning your name, or how he shot a guy in the leg for waving at you, only letting him live to tell others to stay away from you, or else the next bullet would be in their heads. He didn’t want you corrupted by disgusting people of the world, he wanted to wait for the right opportunity to make you his, and it seemed Mister Xavier had given him the perfect opportunity.

“Alright. First lesson is gonna be on kissing. Get closer.” He commanded you, which made you slightly more nervous than it should’ve. You nodded, and obeyed, getting to the point that both your legs were touching.

“Alright, close your eyes. And purse your lips, not too much, just a little.” You did exactly as he said, and a few seconds later, you felt warm lips against your own. You felt the hairiness of his mustache and beard, tickling your features. He made a small ‘smooch’ sound before pulling away.

“See. It’s easy. You just had your first kiss.” You opened your eyes and saw Joel just a few inches away from your face. You giggled, and smiled with glee. You just had your first kiss! You kissed a man! Joel smiled back at you before rubbing your cheek and pulling your lip down, before letting it flip back up.

“Alright, lesson number two. Making out. Open your mouth for me darling, just slightly.” Your big eyes bore into his before doing exactly that. He suddenly slammed his lips against yours, his tongue slipping in your mouth. You let out a muffled noise before realizing he was playing with your tongue with his own. You kept staring at him before realizing his eyes were closed, so you followed in his steps. You both twirled your tongues against one another, your steps just being to follow him as closely as you could. His hands suddenly gripped your cheeks, cupping them in his hands, effectively pushing you closer to his lips. He seemed hungry, his mouth pushing against yours with such passion, his breathing getting heavy. You were very unsure of what to do, but it seemed he enjoyed what you were doing, so you felt okay. He kept pressing his tongue against yours, salvia dripping down your chin with how sloppy he was becoming. After a few minutes of making out, he pulled back, your tongue popping out your mouth as he pulled back.

“Fucking hell…” You heard him mutter under his breath, unsure if it was positive or not.

“Was that good, Joel?” You tilted your head at him, staring into his brown eyes.

“Oh.. Uh…” Joel had forgotten this was supposed to be a lesson for you. “Yes, you did amazing sweetie.” You gave him a large grin, so glad you did your best for him. Joel’s mind, however, was running a million miles an hour. His cock was so incredibly hard, throbbing almost, he had to contain himself from pinning you down and fucking your brains out. His hand was rubbing against his temple, trying to calm himself and collect his thoughts. Alright, he needed to focus on taking it slow for you. Stay focused.

“Okay. Next lesson is gonna be exploring your body. Let's take this off.” His large hands pressed up against your body, lifting up the hem of your shirt. You put your hands up, allowing him to slip the shirt off your body. He stared at your chest covered with a black bra, so simple, yet so arousing. He cursed under his breath again before gulping and softly rubbing your breast. 

“Get on my lap, sweetie.” You nodded and climbed over him, but he stopped you.

“Back to me, sweetheart.” His deep voice made you quiver a little, but you shouldn’t feel like that, Joel was your friend trying to help you out. You settled into his lap, feeling a hardness press against your ass. You shifted around, trying to find a comfortable position, unknowingly making Joel feel jolts of pleasure run through his body. The way your beautiful ass rubbed against him, god, he could cum in his jeans right now.

“I’m gonna touch you, is that alright?” You nodded, finally settling into a nice position on his lap.

His hands grabbed your breasts through your bra, large hands covering a good portion of it. You felt a flutter run through your body, Joel’s hands surprisingly warm. He kept squeezing and squeezing, making you feel a mixture of embarrassment at his possible thoughts, and a slightly tingly feeling in your lower regions.

His hands pulled the inner corner of your bra outwards, exposing your nipples. They hardened at the cold air, and Joel let the bra flip back, covering them once more. Joel’s hands snaked around your back and undid the bra with a ‘click.’ He guided the bra off your body and began to grope at you once more, this time with more passion, as he felt pure skin to skin contact. You whimpered, getting a weird feeling in your pussy at the way his fingers grazed your nipples. “Joel…” It was a quiet moan, barely a whisper, but Joel sure heard it. It rang in his ears, almost. His cock twitched at the noise, he was already addicted.

“You like it?” His voice was hushed, whispered into your ear. You nodded and bit your lip, a small and breathy “mhmm” leaving your lips. Joel's hands continued the groping movements, massaging your breasts almost, wanting to stay gentle for you. How badly he wanted to pinch your nipples and slap your tits as he fucked you while you hung off the bed, but this will do for now. He continued for a long time, before one of his hands snaked down your body, towards your stomach, down to your belly button and finally to where your jeans started. With one (skilled) hand, he unbuttoned them and slowly pushed his hand down your panties. Fuck. He’s supposed to be teaching you.

“I’m gonna touch your pussy now. It’s gonna feel good sweetie, have you ever played with yourself down here?” 

“N-no…” God, somehow, Joel got even harder hearing that. His heartbeat went up, he loved the fact you were so naive to it all, you definitely needed a man like him to teach you. It would be a waste for a bitch-boy like Xavier to take your pureness, no, you needed a real man to fuck you until you cried. 

Joel hand traced your skin, until he felt your clit. With a smirk on his face, that he was glad you couldn’t see, he began to rub your clit, which made you jump initially. But almost seconds later, you felt incredible pleasure as Joel rubbed circles into your bud.

“Hahhhh. Feels g-good Joel.” He hummed in response, feeling at peace with one hand groping your breast and one hand rubbing your clit. He wanted to wait until you were wet enough before fingering you, you did need a lot of prep for his fat cock. Your moans of pleasure were music to his ears, he loved the way you sounded. You felt him lift you up off his body, and slide out the way so you could sit back on the bed again.

“Let me take these off for you, baby.” Joel kissed your forehead before beginning to remove your pants. Your mind began to race, Joel always used nicknames like ‘sweetie’ or ‘sweetheart’ with you, but never baby. You had wondered if Joel ever saw you more as a friend, you saw him sorta like a mentor, someone to guide you, while also being one of your best friends, but the fact he called you baby made you second guess yourself. I mean, he was helping you prepare for your date tomorrow, so it couldn’t mean he was into you! Right?

“Your legs are so pretty, baby.” His rough hands rubbed your legs as softly as he could, feeling the warm flesh under his. You looked gorgeous like this, spread on his bread, practically naked. Only thing protecting your body from him was the small cloth covering your pussy, and he was seconds away from ripping it off your body. He wasted no time pulling them down, you aided him by lifting up your lower half for a few seconds to pull them off, and moving your legs to push them off completely. There you were, the love of his life, his everything, ready to be eaten like a beautiful apple off the tree. He waited so long for this, pumping his cock to the thought of doing every possible sexual thing to you every night. He dreamt of the way your body looked, and none of his dreams compared to the real thing, you were perfect in his eyes, and he wanted to make you his. 

Joel swiftly took off his shirt, revealing his chest to you, making you stare at him. He had smiled, softly, at you, allowing you to feel less nervous. It was only now you took a good look at his jeans, and there you saw it. The outline of his hard cock, it was a fucking giant! It was long and curved in his jeans, the thickness of it making you gulp. You had tried to say something, but Joel’s face was suddenly shoved in between your legs, and began to lick at your slit.

“Joel!” You moaned out, much louder than you anticipated, squirming around as he licked your pussy. You felt amazing, the mixture between his tongue flicking across your clit, to the way the tip of his fingers prodded your hole, it was pure ecstasy. You kept moaning as he continued to inflict the pleasure upon you, gripping the sheets of his bed as his face buried itself even deeper between your thighs.

“Feels so good… So good.” You moaned out, very drawn out, a weird feeling starting in your lower stomach. You only felt it for a short amount of time before Joel pulled away, a string of saliva connecting him and your pussy.

“You’re so fucking cute baby, let me feel you.” His fingers that went from simply prodding your hole began to push inside you, making you moan out at the way his two thick fingers pressed against your walls. You had covered your face with your hands, whining underneath your fingers at the way his fingers filled you. He couldn’t get enough of the way you reacted.

“Look at what you do to me…” His voice deepened, and you uncovered your face to see him rubbing against his cock. You gasped a little, his hands were so large but they seemed so small compared to his cock, the length and thickness making you curious.

“Is it hard?” You questioned, and his fingers pulled out of you, a small whimper leaving your lips.

“So hard. Wanna see?” You nodded slowly, curious to what it looked like. He unbuttoned his pants, revealing the top part of his boxers, and he slowly pulled them down. You sat up, eye level, and stared closely at it. Suddenly, his cock bounced up, hitting you on the nose with it, making you jump back and Joel lightly laughing.

“Touch it.” You let out your hand a little, touching the pink tip, making it twitch.

“Like this.” Joel grabbed your hand and guided it to wrap around his cock, a tight fist motion. You couldn’t wrap your hands around it all the way, however, which made Joel’s cock twitch once more.

“Good girl. Now move it up and down.” You nodded, looking up at him, and began to make the motion. He groaned, and you watched intensely as his foreskin pulled back to reveal the head of his cock, then went back to hide it once more. You continued this motion, Joel’s groans of satisfaction pushing you to continue further. Your head was then pushed forward, making your lips collide with the head of his cock.

“Yeah that’s right, lick it baby, put it in your mouth.” He kept roughly pushing your head, you forced your mouth open and gagged as Joel shoved your head into his cock. His hand, now pulling your hair, began to use you like a fuck doll while he shoved your head back and forth on his cock. It was rough, and his cock became slobbery with the amount of saliva you were producing from the gagging. He continued this, despite your whines and taps on his thigh, too enamored by the feeling of your warm mouth.

“Fuck baby. This is how you suck cock, you’re doing so well for a virgin.” His tone was sickly sweet, voice groaning in between words. Tears began forming in your eyes before he pulled your head back, letting you properly breathe. You took many deep breaths, coughing in the process as well, before Joel pet your head.

“Sorry, baby. I got a bit ahead of myself, didn’t I?” He let out a chuckle, and you nodded, feeling air come back into your lungs, and he bent down to kiss your puffy and drooling lips.

“I’m sorry baby, you’re just too cute to resist. Especially when you’re all ready for me like this. My gorgeous baby, all mine.” You felt your heart race at his words, all his? You didn’t understand, this was supposed to be a sex-ed lesson, but why was Joel acting like-

“Spread your legs baby.” Joel laid you back on the bed, and you hesitantly spread your legs, still unsure what were Joel’s intentions. He settled himself between your legs, lifting them to wrap them around his lower half. He tapped his cock on your navel a few times, making you twitch at the sensation.

“This might hurt, baby.” He began to push his cock between your lower lips, making you gasp at the sensation. Despite the lubrication you produced, it still hurt as he was pushing.

“Joel!” You groaned out, making him stop as he was halfway.

“Does it hurt, sweetheart?” You nodded, and Joel rubbed your thigh, a form of reassurance to help you with the pain. You both stared at each other, your chest moving up and down while you heavily breathed. Joel’s eyes bore deep into yours, admiring your beautiful flushed face, he thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world. He gulped, and continued to push into you as the moments passed. You winced in pain, and he shushed you in a sweet way, letting you whine as whispered small reassurances. Once his cock filled you, Joel looked back up at you, his body pinned over yours.

“How do you feel, baby?” You bit your lip.

“So… Full.” He smiled, grabbing your hand to kiss it.

“You look so pretty like this, no other girl can compare.” You internally winced at his words. You had a feeling this wasn’t a lesson anymore.

“T-Thank you Joel…” His lips planted against your own, and his hand squeezed yours while he drew his hips back. Slowly, he thrusted into you, you squeezed his hand and moaned into his mouth. He continued these movements, hips drawing back and forth at an agonizingly slow pace, he wanted so badly to hold your hips and fuck you until you came, but he held back the urge as he wanted to make you feel good, not only him.

“Fuck baby, you’re s-squeezing me.” His tone was low and shaky. You moaned at his movements, pain long gone as you wanted more.

“Feels good Joel. I like your d-dick.” This drove him over the edge, opting to speed up despite his brain telling him not to. Thankfully, you responded positively by letting out a loud moan and squeezing your eyes shut. His lips began to suck at your neck, thrusting into you at a fast pace now. You were overwhelmed, the feeling in your stomach coming back while he messily sucked at your neck. You gripped the sheets with one hand, and squeezed Joel’s hand at the same time, your throat not being able to form the right words.

“J-Joel. Feels funny…” 

“That means you’re gonna cum baby. Just let it happen baby, I’m gonna cum too.” Joel wanted to last long, he wanted to feel you squeeze his cock for hours, but he was too sensitive from the way your mouth felt earlier. You began to clamp down on his cock, releasing a high-pitched moan as you spasmed around his cock, his body not being able to take it anymore. With one last thrust, he came inside you, cock twitching as your pussy convulsed around him. You both held each other as your orgasms hit its peak, and Joel messily kissed your lips. You and Joel rode out your orgasms before he pulled his cock out, a mess from his cum and your wetness. He sighed and fell on the bed, next to you and took a minute to catch his breath, he was still an old man after all.

“So… That was sex?” You still were taking deep breaths, but Joel’s ‘lesson’ became a bit unclear towards the end.

“Yep.” He was tired, clearly, and he moved your position to be the little spoon, Joel’s arm wrapping around you. Your feeble mind, despite being very innocent, had assumed that Joel’s lesson wasn’t of pure intent, not by the way he was holding you like a lover would. You were slightly uncomfortable, one part telling you it was wrong to be with a man this old, the other liked the way Joel treated you. The issue was you only saw Joel as a friend, you had never seen him as anything more, but you were sure that now he saw you as something deeper.

“I think… I have to go h-” Joel shushed you, and pulled you closer against his warm chest.

“Go to sleep.” You wanted badly to resist, but your body and mind were far too tired to fight against you. You nodded, and cuddled into his hand and began to drift off.

–

The morning after wasn’t too bad, you woke up to see Joel was gone, and your clothes folded in a neat pile in the corner of the bed, a note on top of it.

‘Had work. See you later.’

You sighed, thanking the heavens you didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness. Maybe Joel did see you as a friend after all. You got dressed and quickly head to work, trying to avoid being seen leaving Joel’s apartment. You rushed over to job assignment, not before seeing a huge crowd of people. Curiously, you walked over to see what all the commotion was about, looking around at all the people. You saw a familiar face, Ellie, and pushed through the crowds of people to ask her.

“What happened?” Her face was of displeasure, and she hesitantly told you.

“Some guy got shot dead, bullet to the head. They don’t know who did it, they said he was showing signs of infection, but there’s no bite marks anywhere.”

“Who?” Ellie stayed quiet for a second, before sighing and telling you.

“Xavier.” Your mouth gaped open, tears forming in your eyes as you swallowed a sob, you didn’t want to believe it. You moved away from the crowd, right before FEDRA officers began to tell people to move away from the crime scene. Ellie was right by your side, rubbing your back, assuring you that it was okay.

Joel watched from a distance, a smirk on his face, knowing you only belonged to him. You were his, and now, he was yours as well. You just need a little more time to understand that.

.

taglist: @avengersfan25 @sloanexx​ @flowercrowns-goodvibes​ @aerangi​ @st4rb0y27 !! inbox me to join/remove from the taglist!!!

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

You write for Kaz brekker too ? I didn't know that

How are you love ? Hope you're taking care of yourself , staying hydrated and getting enough sleep 🫶 .

Here's my request ( no Pressure pls ) : I was wondering what if y/n is a dreg , but she and kaz haven't worked together yet , but they go on a job or something and kaz finds out that she's even more unhinged and psychotic than him and he instantly falls for her , a few years later when y/n asks him how he knew she was the one for him , he tells her and y/n is taken aback but also happy that he fell in love with her because of her darkness , and didn't shy away from it .

I'm sorry if this was not coherent , I'm tired rn and I was too excited 😅 anyways tc 💜

warning: blood, mental of past trauma, touch aversion, murder, loss of family members.

Bloody hands

It's an early winter morning. A different one than a handful of years back. No freezing toes or fingers. No blue lips. Clattering teeth. A growling belly. A fireplace is roaring happily and the room is nice and toasty. A warm blanket is draped over your frame but the main source of heat is the body that you’re lazily snuggled against.

It takes you another handful of breaths to take in your surroundings. Ones that even after a couple of years still felt like a joke of imagination. Surreal. Like a dream. One before you die maybe… “Good morning, my darling”, a husky voice pierced through your mind. Making you turn slightly. And here he was. A soft smile broke on your face because there wasn’t a moment now that you weren’t grinning from ear to ear when you looked at Kaz. “Morning”, you muttered softly, turning to snuggle back against his chest. Kaz didn’t flinch. Haven’t been flinching for some time now. At least not when you touched him. Others still ticked him off at times and he was still firmly against any touching with his team and friends. But your touch had always been different to him. “It has healing powers”, Kaz had muttered on one of the first nights when you two had started working on his touch aversion. It had been a long process. One that required a lot of patience. But the result had been worth all the sweat and tears.

“How did you sleep?”, Kaz slowly moved his fingers through your hair, reaching to wrap his arm around you, pulling you even more tightly against his chest. “I always sleep well with you in my bed”, you muttered, palm resting over his heart and the neatly tattooed initials of your name there. “Touché. And to think that you go claiming that you’re an independent woman…”, you didn’t have to see Kaz’s face to know that he was smirking. “You, sir, think too highly of the company you provide”, you jabbed a finger against his ribs playfully making Kaz let out a barely audible chuckle. “You flatter me one moment and stab me the other”, the fake wounded tone that he carries made you let out a breath laugh yourself, as you scooted up on his chest, bracing your hands on either side of him before narrowing your eyes at the now man laying beneath you. Kaz stilled for a moment his hand coming up to cup your cheek before he used your delightful hum as a distraction to flip you both over. Both panting with breathy chuckles.

“Dreamt of you today”, he murmured, making you still. “What do you mean?”, you frowned slightly. Kaz had never been a dreamer. Through the years of you two being together, he only had nightmares or dreamless sleep. “Do you remember the first job we did together, miss black leather boots?”, Kaz teased, brushing his nose against your cheek before leaving a couple of kisses along your shoulder. “You never called me miss back then if I remember correctly you called me a bitch the first time we met”, you shrugged, “And you loved the boots so don’t give me shit for it mr. Black gloves”, you bopped his nose, making Kaz roll his eyes.

“You blew up my warehouse with your makeshift bombs, sorry my words of endearment were harsh”, he hummed right as your hands reached to comb through his way longer black hair. “See, the way I remember it. That building was in my way so the only logical solution was to move it”, you pointed out innocently. “I always liked this unbothered wild side of you”, Kaz admitted after a moment of silence, “No fucks to give, no fear for tomorrow”.

Even if by now you two knew more than well that there had been nothing but fear. Yes, you had made a name for yourself and yes your and Kaz’s paths crossed by accident but it felt as if your two were meant to find one another. Both were utterly beaten by the world but so in need of a company that understood without words what the other felt.

“And here I was thinking that you loved watching me pulling knuckles out of the two bastards the most”, there was humor there but by now Kaz knew that it was simply your cover-up for pain. “I didn’t love it but I was glad to give you closure”, he admitted leaning in to kiss your temple. The way you had helped Kaz to pay an overdue visit to Pekka. Kaz had found the man responsible for your family's murder. Turning a blind eye to the ways you dealt with them.

“Why do you even love me?”, your quiet words jab at Kaz like the sharpest of knives. “How can you even ask that, darling?”, he shakes his head in disbelief. He hadn’t believed in love before he met you. “You know I hate sappy but I read poetry to you, you wear my clothes and get to kiss me whenever you want”, you rolled your eyes at his statements, “Not to mention that I would slaughter a whole town without a second thought if that would lead me back to you”. You crooked your head to the side, watching him, “I like you with your hands bloody, Kaz Brekker”, you smiled up at him. “I’d gladly get them bloody for you Y/N Brekker”, reaching up Kaz carefully took a hold of your hand kissing the sparkling stone on your ring finger.

[hannie-dul-set]

sorry but golden retriever sungchan x black cat reader is the only canon option! if you write a blurb on this pls i will actually kiss you in the mouth (ily btw)

[man on a mission]. jung sungchan has taken it upon himself to make you laugh at least once a day.

“you’re so fucking lame,” you tell him with a roll of your eyes, sitting in front of him at the cafeteria while he has two chopsticks sticking out of his nose. “gross,” you say, but the slight quirk of your lips and the way you quickly reach for your iced lemonade to cover it up makes him pump his fist in the air in victory— even at the expense of his image.

“ha! you laughed! i win.”

his other friends ask him why he even bothers. or, in the words of anton, “hyung, why are you so hell bent on making a fool out of yourself at least once a day?” but his motivations go beyond the selfish desire of proving that his sense of humor can even penetrate the moody and scary (i.e. you). sungchan has made is a mission to make you laugh every single day because of one single reason.

sungchan is simply sick and tired of people talking shit about you.

“it’s ridiculous!” he huffs, slamming both fists on the table after anton asked him the question. “they don’t even know them that well!” yet those same people call you bossy, call you a stick in the mud, temperamental and so on and so forth— which, sungchan has to admit isn’t all wrong. you’re always scowling or glaring or telling people off, but your love language is violence and words needled with spikes. sungchan is the only with enough fluency to see the tenderness in your light punches and your eloquent “fuck you’s” straight to his face.

no, he doesn’t want you to change. he doesn’t want you to soften up your edges just because of the thoughtless impressions of a couple dozen unimportant people. 

but it won’t hurt to see you laughing ever so often, right?

“oh my god, stop it,” you wheeze, hands pressed tightly to your face after sungchan shows you a dumb tiktok video he just saw, then imitating it with just as much grace and passion, causing you to snort out loud and burst into a fit. “fuck’s sake, i hate you so much.”

once more, mission accomplished. he forced you to tag along with his friends for dinner today, so that was a necessary move to break the ice— especially because anton is kind of afraid of you. seeing you out of your usual resting bitch face should ease their intimidation, and jung sungchan is proud of himself for a job well done seeing shotaro having a passionate discussion about a manga you’ve both read.

“no way, i couldn’t find a copy anywhere! can you lend it to me?”

there’s  a swell of pride in his chest seeing you talk so easily with someone else other than him. it’s nice to see other people finally seeing you in the same light as he had for the past couple of years. pride. yes. that’s exactly and the only thing he’s feeling right now.

“hey.”

but as your conversation with taro lengthens that you haven’t looked at him since laughing at his joke, and as eunseok discreetly calls his attention while staring at you from across the table with a look in his eyes that’s all too familiar— almost as if he’s looking straight at a mirror—sungchan thinks that maybe he should abort his mission.

“your friend has a pretty smile.”

he knows. he’s been trying to get everyone else to see it all this time.

[aenokiawrld]

𝔦𝔣 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔲𝔫 𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔲𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔢....

if the sun refused to shine…baby, would i still be ur lover?

a/n: my first angst, no judgement pls >.<

⋆.ೃ𐦍*:･⋆𐦍.ೃ࿔*:･

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

18+ !! MINORS DNI

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

cw: angst, troubled love, established relationship, mentions of past intimacy (sexual & emotional), slight cursing

tags ✮⋆˙ oneshot, angst, distantlover!zoro x y/n, gn!reader, falling out of love trope,

now playing: intro (end of the world) - ariana grande

“Do you love me?”

“What?”

“Do you love me like I love you?”

He couldn’t lie when he felt surprised hearing those words out of your mouth, “Yea, why?”

You sighed, “I’ve been thinking…we’ve been distant recently and it’s making me question our relationship.” You sat next to him as you laid back on the cushioned seat. The somber blue tint illuminating on both your faces as you guys sat alone in the aquarium room. It’s quiet.

He went silent for a minute before letting out a soft chuckle, “You’re pulling my leg, aren’t ya?”

“I’m not joking, Zoro.”

The way you said his name struck a nerve in his body. He wasn’t used to this type of confrontation, rather, he wasn’t used to feeling this type of way at all. He hated it. It was like his heart strings were tugging at him as if it purposely made him uncomfortable.

You huffed, “Five weeks…” You felt your lips quiver as you swallowed the lump in your throats. You wanted him to understand, “That’s how long it’s been since we’ve held a proper conversation, since you’ve kissed me on the lips, since you told me I love you.”

“Babe-“

“Don’t mess this up, please.”

His mouth went dry at your words. He has so many questions pooling in his head. Yet, he couldn’t find the right words to answer you. His mind went blank.

He choked on his words, “I guess I’ve just been really busy training.”

You looked up at him with saddened eyes, “Is that really it?”

Fuck. The realization hit him like a truck. He questioned his inner monologue, did he really love you? You’ve been together for a year now. It felt like forever ago when you first became a part of the crew, you automatically clicked with everyone with your bubbly personality and generosity. The first time he laid eyes on you, he couldn’t help but be drawn to your aura in a different sense. The way you walked, the way you talked, the way your eyes locked with his; It drove him nuts. You were just so alluring the swordsman couldn’t understand the feeling forming in his stomach. Was he nervous?

During those two years, his feelings only grew even more for you. Everything was all confusing. He was a swordsman for christ’s sake, he don’t have time for sappy love. Yet, you lingered in his mind like a treadmill. He wanted to pull on the emergency stop so badly, yet…he still kept running.

The day you asked him out, he couldn’t help but feel his heart explode into pieces. You were just so beautiful/handsome, he felt like he didn’t deserve you. The devil on his shoulder was practically yelling him to run away, yet his conscious was practically telling him to say yes. You both shared your first kisses that day.

“I love you.”

“and, I love you.”

The months turned into a year, you experienced everything together. Sure, there were moments were you both had alone time for yourselves. Pretty arguments turned into “make up and forgets.”

But, this time felt different.

Whenever you kissed his lips, his heart didn’t flutter like it used too. He stopped initiating sex even in times when he needed relief. It was like you just became a blur in his mind as he started feeling himself slip away from your embrace. He wanted to love you back…but he just couldn’t. Each day felt like his grasp was slipping away from you. He couldn’t. He couldn’t admit it.

“I’m tired. I’m tired of waiting, avoiding the truth, running in circles for you.”

“We’re 21, not 19 anymore…For fuck sake, Roronoa, I just want you to hear me like I hear you.” Your lips quivered as you choked back tears.

“No, [name], listen. I do love you, I just got caught up with bulking up I just unintentionally isolated myself.”

Slap

The sound of the hard contact of your hand to his face echoed before the sound of water bubbling in the tank continued.

“I’m- I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that.”

He rubbed the impacted area, “Heh, I guess I deserved that.”

Even in times like this, he had to still be a bit humorous…You hated it.

“The faster we talk about this, the faster we resolve this.”

He gulped, “If I tell you, you would hate me.”

“I will hate you more if you don’t tell me.

“…As you wish.”

It was taking everything for you to not tear up from anxiety.

“I feel as if our paths are just too different.”

You knew it. You fucking knew it.

“Was I not good enough for you? Was I lousy in bed? Did I do something to piss you off?” You spoke in a panicked tone as you held his hands.

He gently squeezed your hands, “No, [name]. I just…I just don’t feel anything for you….not anymore”

You felt tears fall down your cheek before wiping it. It was like the world stopped hearing those words. Deep down, you wanted to beg him to take you back…But all you could do was just lightly punching his chest as you sobbed your feelings out.

“I hate you, I hate you so much.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he sighed as you halted your light punches to his chest.

“So you don’t love me anymore…”

He gazed into your eyes with a gentle look, his voice had deepened, “Of course I love you, but just not the same way.”

You went silent as you decreased the pressure of your hands in his grasp, “You’re right…”

“We’re just on two different paths…”

You stroked his cheek with a smile, that same smile that was plastered on your face the moment you said your first I love you, the moment when you first stepped onto the Thousand Sunny’s. A smile that made him fall in love with you.

“I want to ask you...”

The room had become silent. Not even the ambience sound from the aquarium tanks could reach your ears. The sound of your heart pounding screaming in your ears as you coughed up your words.

“If the crew splits up permanently or if we move on…Hell, if we’re on the brink of death, old age or not,”

“Would I be the one on your mind?”

His eyes widened at your question. He felt as if his thoughts were running laps in his head.

He scoffed, “Of course, you were my first.”

You smiled, “Lemme ask you this again: Do you love me…like I love you?”

The knot in his stomach tightened as he contemplated his decision. No more kisses, no more dates, no more intimacy, no more i love you’s.

“Even if the sun refused to shine, I will love you forever and always.”

You wiped your wet tears and snot, “If the moon ever goes dark, I’ll love you back.”

You kissed his cheek before walking out the aquarium and headed to your cabin.

As he heard the door close, he couldn’t help but drop to his knees as tears fell onto the cold floor. For the first time, the swordsman felt vulnerable to his emotions and it was burning him deeply. He caressed the scar on his torso, before muttering curses to himself.

———

“Luffy, calm down! The food isn’t gonna run away, you know!” You snatched the plate from the hungry boy.

“Come on, [name]! It’s not my fault Sanji’s cooking is delicious!” He used his rubber powers to steal the plate from your hands and ran out the dining room with it.

You laughed at your captain’s actions when suddenly, you felt hands snake around your waist. As you turned around to see who was the culprit, you yelped as you felt soft lips touch yours.

“Ignore that idiot, my love. I’m surprised he doesn’t have diabetes yet.” He shot you a cheeky smile which caused your face to heat up.

“Sanji, I’m gonna dump you.”

“NOOOO MY SWEET [name]. I’LL GIVE YOU A THOUSAND KISSES IF THAT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER,” He starts to cling onto your leg like a kid throwing a tantrum.

You laughed before kissing his cheek, “Oh don’t worry, baby, you can make it up tonight.” You wink at him jokingly.

Oh man, the mess you’re gonna have to clean up from the amount of blood he let out hearing that…

“Christ, how are ya’ll this loud at this hour,” the hungover swordsman yawned.

“It’s noon, mosshead,” sneered at him.

“Whatcha say, curly brow?!”

You facepalmed before slapping their faces to shut him up.

“This is getting old, guys,” you nodded your head in disapproval.

They both apologized before they went back to glaring at each other to which you gave up on.

———

As you finish cleaning up, you turn to face the green-haired swordsman, “Oh, and Zoro.”

He felt his heart stop for a moment before replying back to you, “Uh- yea?”

“Don’t drink too much, I don’t want you dying of alcohol suffering,” you jokingly giggled before taking the sake bottle from his hand.

He laughed before shooting you a smirk, “Trust, Il be fine.”

You smiled before the cook wrapped his arms around your shoulders, “Come, Mon Cherie, let’s get away from this evil ogre-”

“SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU CURLY BROW ASSHOLE-”

“Ooooookay this is our cue to leave,” you laugh awkwardly before pulling your blonde boyfriend out of the dining area.

Zoro felt his smile fade as he watched you look at your new boyfriend with loving eyes. The same eyes he would gaze upon when you both were still together.

He grabbed another bottle of sake from the cabinet before chugging it down like water. The thought and sight of you with another man, especially with one of his crew mates, was like getting stabbed with his own swords. Maybe those feelings didn’t go away like he said that night.

All he could do now was stare at the ceiling while swishing the alcoholic beverage in his hand. Maybe he shouldn’t have let you go like that he thought to himself.

Will I still be on your mind?

He chuckled to himself before finishing the remnants of the bottle, “Dumbass, if she’s moved on then…maybe it’s time I move on.”

Maybe there was another universe where we got married and had kids, maybe there was another time where I didn’t lose feelings for you.

Maybe there was another time where the sun did shine…

Maybe in another lifetime…

[saintslewis]

❝ 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐘 ❞

𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 — 𝐋𝐇𝟒𝟒

˖ ࣪⭑ pairing: sir lewis hamilton x fem!oc

˖ ࣪⭑ summary: it’s Nads’ first day on the paddock at the Miami Grand Prix!

˖ ࣪⭑ warnings: cussing, outfit descriptions, some seriously bad flirting, lots of name dropping

˖ ࣪⭑ wc: 6.7 k

˖ ࣪⭑ saint’s team radio: my babies, hi! i ain’t got no backstory, it’s just been tough to write lol. this chapter is my baby so i hope you all enjoy it 🥹. dedicating this to @httpsserene (twinnnnn) because she knows how much i back my man all the time lol. okay okay on with the story!

pls like, reblog and comment!!!

renaissance:the series • previous chapter

-

The sounds of the F1 cars and the noisy commentators went through Nadia's ears quite noisily. Fixing the position of her headphones, she held her phone horizontally as she watched through her husband's various wins throughout the years.

Her Tuesday was busy, well busily spent watching over previous races and anything related to the sport that Lewis was in. Nadia was determined to get onto the Miami paddock and not fuck up her first public appearance by not knowing anything about F1 and as much as she wanted to research a little bit more on Lewis, she decided against it, solely wanting him to tell her everything.

Her suitcases sat nicely next to her couch, the same couch that would be in her storage unit by the time she gets back from the states. Knowing that the weather that side would be ridiculously hot, she made sure to pack good outfits, enough to be Miami-approved along with all her good wigs.

It has been almost a week since she met Lewis' friends at his - their home and to think that she would be travelling the world with them so soon was not something she thought would happen. The next day, she spent it ogling at her screen on things to do in Miami. The rest of the weekend was dedicated to maintenance; wigs, nails, lashes, waxing with the occasional facetime sessions with Lewis just sharing all types of jokes to distract her from the prep.

Her phone rang in the middle of her binging Brazil 2021, showing a call from Natalia. "Hello?" Nadia answered.

"Nads, hey. I know we're literally going to be together tomorrow on the plane but i just wanted to check in to see if you're doing okay and if you're ready for Miami?" The ever so hyper girl asked excitedly.

"I've got my stuff ready and I think I'm clued up on the sport enough." Nadia's voice was clear yet soft, balancing her phone on the coffee table. "But are you wag ready?" Natalia asked, earning one of Nadia's infamous side eyes.

"Girl, what?"

"Nads, please don't tell me you don't know what that means." Natalia stressed as she ruffled around to sit up straight.

"Then you won't like my next answer." She smiled, standing up to go to the kitchen. "Oh my days, one of the most famous wags right now and she doesn't even know what it is." Natalia laughed, continuing with her explanation.

"So basically, it's a wife or girlfriend of an athlete. All you're gonna do when we get there is maybe make some friends with the other wags and just be his biggest supporter, even if it means we throwing hands." The girl laughed even louder, their laughter bounced off the walls.

"Now you're speaking. I think I'll be good as long as I have someone to guide me through it, y'know?" Nadia said, fidgeting with whatever is in front of her which in this case, was a fork.

For the umpteenth time in the last 3 weeks, Nadia was nervous about everything changing so quickly. This was her first public appearance as 'Mrs Hamilton' and knowing that she will have to face so many eyes on her was something she couldn't bear to think of.

"Here's my ting, Nads. You're not just the wife of any driver there, you're lawfully linked with the literal face of that sport. That man is beyond famous and keeping up with his life as his friend group is so exciting yet so fast paced so if you need anything, you got us. Genuine chats." Natalia smiled, watching her friend fiddle with the fork.

"I just need to keep up and plus Lew said if it gets too much, I can always just come back and chill at home which is something I will definitely do." Nadia said, picking up her phone.

"Exactly babes! Anyways, I'll pick you up later then we head to the airport together?" She offered. Nadia just nodded before posing in the kitchen. They wished each other their goodbyes and Nadia immediately got to work, sorting out her outfits for the third time.

-

The drive to the airport felt so surreal, the tiny droplets of rain sped down the car window as the music blared through Nadia's headphones. A sleeping Natalia layed across her lap, barely moving unless there was a slight bump on the road.

Preparing herself to go on a plane for the first time in 12 years , she breathed in and out and went very deep in her thoughts. The slight breeze of the air conditioner in the car raised hairs on her arms, definitely regretting putting her emergency hoodie in one of her suitcases and not in her carry on.

She had just decided to run on autopilot for the rest of the trip, every single thought of hers gnawing at her causing a headache to form. The feeling of constantly having eyes on her was overwhelming, every time she wants to run an errand or or go on with her maintenance day, she would always be stopped for a picture or even worse, have a camera following her around. She now understood why celebrities would always have their headphones on in public.

Heathrow Airport appeared in her vision, her hand immediately landing on Natalia's arm and shook her a bit so that she could wake up and prepare herself.

"We here yet?" The woman said, rubbing her eye and blinking quite quickly. All Nadia could do was nod and slightly smile at her friend who immediately felt Nadia's vibe. "Okay Nads, I don't know what your thoughts are chatting about but think about it like this: a cute little trip with new friends and experiencing new shit while looking good at the same time. I can feel your overthinking from here." Natalia said, cuddling into her friend.

"You know, you say some cute shit then you violate me after. Is this your thing?" Nadia chuckled as the driver drove towards the main entrance of the airport.

"Y'should hear the shit I say to Miles."

The process of getting checked in went incredibly smoothly, considering the girls met Tia when rolling their suitcases. It was all relatively easy as they were flying private, the jet waiting patiently for its passengers. The short drive in a different SUV to the jet had Nadia's stomach flutter as she took everything in. Stepping out the car to a very gloomy night sky, the crème white jet stood in all its glory and Nadia battled herself to not take pictures but she couldn't help it.

Nearing towards the steps with her carry-on, the flight attendants smiled with champagne flutes in their hands. "Welcome Miss Tia, Miss Natalia and Mrs Hamilton. I do hope you have a wonderful flight to Miami." One of the woman had greeted with a blinding smile.

Accepting the champagne although utterly creeped out, Nadia greeted everyone back and made her way into one of the most beautiful private jets she'd set her eyes on. Hermés blankets were placed on top of the seats, charcuterie boards were set and the night lights were on, referencing the stars in the night sky. Seeing how relaxed Tia and Natalia were, she took a deep breath and took a window seat.

Next to her were different types of chocolates and sweets, water bottles, sodas, spritzers along with champagne sat aesthetically all around her. Settling across from her, Tia whipped out her iPad and immediately got to work, hoping to talk to Nadia while she was still awake.

The two spoke on many different topics pertaining the marriage and Nadia's new found fame. "To summarise before we dive deep. I already opened up an Amex bank account for you because the money you'll make throughout all this is insane. You've got a lot of people to meet on Friday but I'll take you through everything on Thursday."

Nadia just listened to everything. "So while Lewis has a photoshoot tomorrow, we'll meet with your new team which by the way, have already prepared outfits for you for the coming weekends because i know you brought your own this week. Just remember, don't be too hard on yourself. I know it's a lot but you two can get through it. Oh, and you can finally open up your social media profiles." Tia smiled, closing the iPad with its cover and handing her a black card, mouthing that it already has money on it.

"Now we can sit back and relax for the rest of this 8 hour flight." Natalia said, eye mask already covering her eyes with a blanket enveloping her. The plane had already taken off during Tia speaking so she didn't have much to be nervous about in the moment.

-

MIAMI

Stepping off the jet steps, 4 bodyguards stood as Nadia's sight immediately went to the three large escalades, reminding her of how a president would be transported. Greeting everyone a very tired good morning, she spotted Lewis climbing out one of the cars along with Miles. A smile appeared on her face as she saw them, the nerves being pushed away at the sight of people she recognised.

"How was your flight, bruv? Got some coffee to wake you up." Lewis said with a smile, putting her suitcases in the car, his sweater sleeves lifted and showed his tattooed arms flexing as he lifted them.

She knew it was too early into the friendship to be having such thoughts but she couldn't help but feel some way about him as she watched him and he glowed in the morning sun, laughing at a joke Miles had said. Not to mention how her heart fluttered knowing he got her coffee although he himself doesn't like the hot drink.

"Nads?" He called to her, seeing her in a dazed state but quickly snap back to it. "It was great, Tia distracted me from the flight takin' off so that's a plus. Had one too many croissants and before I forget, I got us something that I hope you'll like." She said, climbing into the open car door and put her tote bag next to her.

On the way to the hotel, the two played some Raye while making jokes and talking about the rest of the weekend, assuring Nadia that if she wasn't comfortable going to all these events that she could stay back at the hotel. All she knew was that she was definitely going to watch him play some basketball the next day.

"And the pants are pink? Like your trousers are hot pink?" She asked the man as they drove through Miami, oblivious to the copious amounts of billboards with his face on it be it about Formula 1 or IWC, the watch brand that he was ambassador for. "And I was told to show you my outfits for the whole weekend for your first well, second public appearance." He said, sitting comfortably on his seat, playing around with his phone but not using it.

"That's very kind of whoever told you that. Before I regret my gift, do you wear grills? Or tooth jewellery in general?" Nads asked, unconsciously holding onto her tote bag.

"Are you about to say what i think you're about to say?" Lewis asked, turning his whole body towards her. "Do you know how hard it was having to describe your teeth to the person who made them? Anyways, I thought we could wear the grills the same day as like a statement, y'know?" She said, taking out two cases with the same branding.

"That's a great idea, I truly love it and these grills, man. Might build a mini collection." Lewis sounded impressed, bringing the jewellery closer to really look at it then looked at Nadia with a feeling that he was struggling to decipher but he get genuine appreciation towards her.

"Thank you pookie bear for these, i'll cherish it forever." He smiled, his eye wrinkles prominent.

"Oh my days, you said it." She covered her mouth with both hands, the ring shining as the rays of the morning sun hit it.

"What? Pookie bear?"

"Yeah, you barely say it! Oh my days, say it again so i can record it." Nadia said, bringing her phone out, making Lewis laugh so hard as they drove to the hotel.

-

Thursday afternoon could not come fast enough with Nadia standing in the large hotel bathroom, scratching her bald cap as she stared at the two wigs in front of her. The one was a light pink, wanting to support Lewis in pink and the other was black, very neutral but was quite long.

Her outfit was laid out on the bed, consisting of a denim mini skirt with pink low cut nikes, her reflective diesel bag that she received the night before and a dark gray tee with Baby Lewis on it. For Nadia, this outfit was quite simple as she liked to branch her style out, no matter how bold it might be.

The memories of the night before started to flow through, smiling by herself. When the crew had come back from dinner in the ever so luxurious hotel restaurant, she came back to all types of gifts on her bed, a note from Lewis reading 'for your first grand prix' with a heart next to it.

New Van Cleef and Arpels bracelets as she jokingly requested, the Diesel bag she would be sporting at the IWC event, two Dior saddles bags and two new pairs of sneakers that she had yet to open. The tears that were in her eyes dropped down her face as she opened her gifts, texting a sleeping Lewis a selfie with all her presents.

"Okay girl, let's do the black wig because the shoes and bag are already pink." Nadia decided, her voice echoing as she spoke to herself in the spacious bathroom. Putting some music on, she continued getting ready whilst waiting for Lewis to pick her up as he's coming from the track.

As if someone heard her thoughts, she heard a knock on the door followed with the wood creaking beside it and she instantly knew it was Lewis. Opening the door with a smile on her face, she saw him with the same beaming smile as she displayed. It looked as if he already changed his outfit from this morning, keeping up with his activities on social media.

"Well good afternoon sir." Nadia greeted as she walked back into the room to grab her handbag, phone and sunglasses, walking out as soon as she got everything with her.

Now, Lewis was someone who would subtly blush at the slightest compliment he would receive or whenever anyone mentioned that they liked his outfit, he would be grateful then brush it off with one of his smiles. However, hearing his assigned title come from the lips of his wife - new friend and not to mention her wearing his t shirt, made his chest warm. Same feeling he got whenever he would gift her anything and just see her smile.

There are just friends who just so happen to be married.

"Hi Nads. I'm loving the shirt by the way." He complimented, watching her lock up her room and place the key card in her bag. "Oh thanks, some guy i'm married to gave it to me. Do you think this kid is a legend now?" Nadia joked as they both walked to the elevator, relieved to have no one inside.

"I heard he's this really cool driver. Also props to that random dude who gave you the tee, super stylish and amazing." Lewis spoke as he leaned on the railing of the elevator.

"Okay not too much now." Nadia scoffed, followed up with a giggle.

Upon arriving at the place, it was truly crowded with fans and many camera crews all facing an incredibly large billboard with Lewis' face on it, his arm showing off the expensive watch. Majority of those involved in the event were wearing pink and many of the fans standing outside had a mixture of colours, including neon yellow and purple.

As their Escalade rolled up to the main entrance of the event, the cheers were heard from all around the car. Playing with her hair nervously, Lewis watched as he was getting ready to get out the car. "D'you mind if I hold your hand? Just noticed you were nervous." He voiced, seeing her snap out of her mind.

Looking down at his large open hand, Nadia didn't think twice about grabbing onto it and holding it tightly. As he stepped out of the car, the screams became louder as he waved to everyone with his other hand whilst Nadia scooched out with the car step helping her. As if the screams and cheers couldn't get any louder, her foot touched the ground and people were shouting out all types of things.

Although Nadia was nervous, she felt Lewis squeeze her hand and prompt her to look at him, his eyes more comforting than anything. Shooting a quick smile and wink at him, she went back to greeting everyone clawing for attention. He stood for a moment, in awe of her instant switch from what he saw in the car. Remembering where he was, he too snapped up and walked towards fans to sign stuff.

About an hour into the event, Nadia sat and cheered underneath the VIP section of it all. Starstruck event workers stood close to her, offering anything she would want from the stalls all around. With a pink lemonade in her hand, she watched Lewis play basketball with the widest smile on his face as he dribbled the ball and put the ball through the next.

To get better sight of her hunk of a husband, she sat closer to the kids who too watched in awe of everything and it isn't hard to believe that she began playing some hand games with them while workers were busy. While Lewis stood to the side of the game, he watched as Nadia interacted with the kids sitting on chairs clearly made for children but it was the pure joy she radiated that struck him the most.

Digging his phone out of one of his many pockets on his hot pink pants, he snapped a few photos of her surrounded with kids and he was very sure that the many camera crews also captured the adorable moment. Looking up, Nadia locked eyes with Lewis from across the court, waving excitedly which prompted the kids to wave as well.

After a while, Lewis was asked to do an interview and one of the questions were where else he would like to race and to get a reaction out, he uttered the words "I would like to race in South Africa, my wife's home country and definitely because it would be an amazing track." Little did he know that that clip would send the internet into a frenzy.

-

SATURDAY

Ultimately deciding to show face in the paddock on Qualifying Day and definitely ruining Tia's master plan, Nadia placed her earrings on before taking pictures of herself in the mirror for her to post later on in the day.

Fixing her top a little, she held onto it while looking for the small case that held her grillz and finding them on the nightstand, securely placing them on her teeth. She quickly switched her heels for sneakers knowing that she would be walking around the whole day.

Her mood was all over the place from the moment she woke up. She knew going into another deep dive was going to affect how she would be with everyone she was supposed to meet but she did so in the late evening after the day she had. She hadn't fully memorised names but she could identify them in an instant if anyone were to show pictures of F1 drivers.

Natalia, Miles, Charlotte and Spinz had already left earlier on, leaving Nadia and Lewis to get to the track together as planned. The knock resonated through the door, signaling that Lewis was here to pick her up. Grabbing everything she needed including the paddock passes, she got to the door with a slight scowl on her face.

"Woah, you're blonde now." Lewis pointed out, leaning against the doorframe with his hands in his pants pockets. His red sunglasses matched the parts of red on his Tommy Hilfiger sweatshirt with his blue sneakers matching the blue parts. He flashed his smile, showing off his grillz.

"That FIA president better watch his mouth when it comes to you, talking some bullshit so early in the morning." She warned, locking the door with her key card once more and she placed her all black sunglasses on.

"Nads, wait. What's going on?" Lewis stood there. "Went on a deep dive last night and developed a deep resentment towards the higher ups of the sport." She said, shrugging her shoulders then leading the way towards the elevator.

As confused as he was, Lewis walked quick to catch up with her as she walked closer and closer to the elevator.

"And before you say anything peace instilling, I'm not going to beat anybody up...yet." Nadia said, crossing her arms as she stood next to Lewis in the large metal box. "..You look really nice today." Lewis chose his words carefully, not used to seeing her in this mood.

"So do you, very chilled out. Well, until you smile then you'll send those geezers into a heart attack." She snickered, showing the matching grillz. "I think they'll be fine. They saw a glimpse of my stomach yesterday and told me I looked like Magic Mike." He said, laughing at the ridiculous comments he heard yesterday.

"Not them comparing you to an unsexy white man?" She jokingly said, with them falling into a fit of giggles. "I know this is going to sound out of pocket but did you know that your arms look very bite-able? Like I could just take a munch out of them."

"Nadia, what the fuck?"

-

It was evidently clear that this was a huge weekend for Miami, thousands of fans walking the streets in merchandise from their favourite teams or drivers.

The motorcade they were riding in could be compared to being presidential, people cheering whenever it drove by and getting out of windows to cheer at the red lights. Reaching the Hard Rock stadium, it shocked Nadia to see how many people were in attendance with probably thousands more already welcomed in. With the touch of a button, Lewis' window went down as he greeted everyone with a wave and a smile, gaining a positive reaction from everyone.

Eventually slowing down within the private parking, the pretend couple climbed out the car with Lewis opening the car door for Nadia. Waving to the crowd with him made Nadia feel slightly overwhelmed, noticing how the crowd grew even more when he appeared.

Leaning down a little to whisper into her ear, "You can be with me for now then we can walk in together." Lewis' breath tickling her ear, fighting a shy smile towards the man. Walking with him to his supporters or literally anyone who shoved anything in his direction, Nadia took out her phone to capture this moment and how loved he truly was.

A few fans were signaling to her to sign some stuff and for pictures, surprising her at the excitement of the fans. Leaning over to sign stuff, she received a few friendship bracelets, a few gifts that she handed over to security and some many compliments that her cheeks were starting to hurt.

"Bye everyone!" She exclaimed, signaled to finish up and head into the paddock. The crowd responded and she felt a large hand intertwine with hers, relieved to see that it was Lewis'. Cameras had begun to follow them, her hand squeezing his in nervousness. Reaching the official entrance of the paddock, he stepped back to let her sign in first then he did afterwards.

Flipping her blonde hair and fixing her sunglasses, their hands intertwined once again as they began to walk down the incredibly long pathway. All types of media was running around them like headless chickens, hurling questions their way but all the two did was smile and greet everyone who greeted them.

The power that resonated through the pretend couple as they walked towards the Mercedes hospitality inside the stadium, everyone could feel it. The pure confidence and kindness they showed on the short walk was enough to keep the world talking for a few weeks, grillz shining as they grinned and Lewis fist bumped people as he usually did.

Once reaching Mercedes, Nadia and Lewis weren't aware of the small crowd that had gathered behind them as they walked, everyone intrigued with the sight of Nadia next to the 7x World champion of the sport. "Lewis! Nadia, hello!" A short woman with a blonde bob enthusiastically said, standing up from one of the chairs inside the building.

"Susie! How's it going?" Lewis said, hugging the woman. "I am doing quite well," Susie said. "Who is this beautiful woman?" She asked, setting her eyes on a nervous looking Nadia.

"Hello, I'm Nadia. It's such a pleasure to meet you, Lewis told me about you." She smiled, stretching her arm out for a handshake that Susie happily accepted. "Oh my, likewise. I will have to steal you away from him now as he has to get ready for quali. Toto has meet you as well." Susie said.

"I do have to go unfortunately so I'll see you later in the garage?" Lewis asked, placing his hand on her waist whilst looking into her eyes. "Yup, have fun bruv." Nadia winked then placed a kiss on his cheek, the lipgloss leaving a residue on his cheek that he didn't dare to wipe off.

He winked back (dismally), then left the two ladies, greeting everyone in his way before walking off with Rosa, his Mercedes media personnel.

As Susie and Nadia had the cutest bonding time, including a very giddy Toto Wolff who was excited to see Lewis' wife to make sure that he wasn't seeing things. Nadia walked out of the hospitality with a chocolate bar in her hand, trying to remember the directions Susie had given her to the Paddock club.

Having no clue where she was going, she approached a woman who looked quite kind, donning the same passes as she was across her chest. "Hi there!" Nadia greeted as she stopped in front of the woman who's eyes went wide at the sight of Nadia in front of her.

"Holy shit, you're her." The woman blurted out as she then proceeded to slap her hand on her mouth afterwards. Nadia giggled at the woman's reaction, watching her as she swallowed whatever was in her mouth. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. You're just so pretty in real life. I'm Lily." She rambled out.

"Hey Lily, I'm Nadia," the older woman tilted her head a bit and maintained eye contact. "Don't know if you're busy right now but do you mind showing me to the paddock club? Thank you for the compliment, so are you!" She spoke, seeing Lily lose her breath a little when making direct eye contact.

"Oh! Of course, that's where I'm headed right now. You can join me in my walk there, it's not too far." Lily offered, to which Nadia just nodded and the two conversed all the way.

Once reaching the overly luxurious and crowded space, Lily guided Nadia towards a private section of the already exclusive space. Greeting those who waved at her as they walked by, she spotted a group of younger looking women who were eagerly looking around until their eyes landed on Lily and Nadia, smiles growing larger with them all standing up in excitement.

Deciding to greet the group first, she held her arms out and they fell into a huge group hug. Nadia felt surprisingly safe and definitely knew that these were the wags that Natalia was speaking about a few days before.

"Super sorry for the ambush, once we saw you enter the paddock we've been excited." The calm brunette woman grinned. "I'm Carmen, I'm with George." She tucked her hair behind her ear, her aura very classy.

George Russell, Lewis' teammate.

"I'm Kika! Francisca but I prefer Kika." The tall girl introduced herself, resembling a deer. Her eyes large with a beaming smile. "I'm with Pierre."

Pierre Gasly, apart of that one pink team. French guy.

"I'm Alexandra, so nice to meet you." The last girl introduced herself, voice very soft but visibly excited. She looked like she would be with someone from Ferrari. "I'm with Charles." She beams, Nadia's guess being correct.

"Well hi everyone, I'm Nadia." She said, opting for all the girls to sit. Kika gasped before she sat down, "oh my goodness, I just realised that you look like Tinker Bell."

The other girls looked at Nadia properly and agreeing with Kika, giggles floating around.

A lengthy conversation from fashion to careers to food, the group of women were interrupted by a Mercedes employee, asking for both Carmen and Nadia in the garage. Grabbing each other's hands, the two women greeted their friends goodbye as they walked out of the Paddock club.

The Mercedes garage was everything that Nadia imagined it to be, people wizzing in and out of there with both cars proudly displayed as the crowd gathered to take pictures of each car or simply wanting a picture in front of the driver's garages.

Spotting her husband's braids over everyone in front of him, she carefully walked over to him, not wanting to trip over anything. Locking eyes with each other, Lewis quickly put his airpods back into their case and stuck his hand out for her to hold onto. Manoeuvring his arm around her shoulder whilst holding her hand, Lewis held Nadia closer to him. Avoiding the cameras and the watching eyes everywhere.

"So? How was it? Heard you are quite the star today." Lewis teased. Glancing up at the man through her lashes, she smiled and bounced on her feet a little. "Everyone is so nice. I met the other girlfriends and bruv, you should've seen them. It was like I was holding the universe in my hands." She joked, earning a nod and a smile.

"Do you think you have one more introduction left in you? I have someone I'd like you to meet." He said, looking forward then at her, his sunglasses sitting on his forehead. Turning her head in the direction he just looked, she spotted someone familiar and as they walked closer, she recognised the tall figure and her stomach dropped.

"Lewis, hey man! What's good?" Pharrell Williams greeted her husband with a handshake then hug, letting go of Nadia's body for a brief period of time. Nadia couldn't believe the sight in front of her, her idol was chatting it up with her husband.

"And i want you to meet my wife, Nadia. My guardian angel through all this shit." Lewis beamed at her, holding her closer once again to bring her towards Pharrell. "Ah, it's a such an honour to meet you." The man exclaimed, his grillz shining as well. "He's said so many good things about you after the reveal, I was genuinely shocked that you two could keep a secret like this." Pharrell snickered.

Processing the fact that Lewis had spoken about her to her idol and that said idol mentioned that it was an honour, all she could really do was smile and nod. "Well, I'm glad we're finally out now." Nervously chuckling, Nadia tucked her hair behind her ear.

With a light conversation and a few pictures, Pharrell ended off with words that Nadia couldn't believe she just heard. "I hope to see you two in Paris, remember front row and I'll be sure to send some stuff from LV." The older man remarked, slowly walking away as it was almost time for Quali to begin.

Nadia sat with large headphones on her head, Bono's voice occasionally chiming in to Lewis. The screen in front of her showed all the cars racing on track, starting off quite smoothly in Q1. Whenever the camera would pan to her during a pit stop, she would smile or wink, quite literally the only actions she's been able to do this whole weekend.

-

RACE DAY.

As if it was clockwork, she sat in the same chair with her hands balled up in front of her mouth and her eyebrows furrowed as she watched Car 44 whiz around the track.

Being behind the scenes the day before had truly helped her understand the dynamics of the sport, Nadia's eyes snapping between watching the car drive and the current position he was in. P4 and there were only a few laps left of the race. Miles and Natalia were seated next to her, stressing just as much as Nadia did.

The atmosphere in the garage was tense, only audible sounds being heard in Nadia's ears were the car's engine and occasional groans or cheers from the crowd outside. Feeling all her senses show in anticipation, her clothes felt tighter than they actually were and her hands were shaking as she watched her husband turn the car into the specific corner that has been an issue the whole race.

As the last 2 laps went on, she stood up abruptly as anxiety seeped through her body. Nadia knew it was going to be a good position but seeing Lewis come alive in the final laps could put him anywhere. His car swiftly overtook Alonso’s, the finish line just a few metres away from him and Natalia stood next to her as they all watched Lewis finish the race.

P2.

The cheer that erupted from her was genuine, a few people celebrating all around them with the pit crew giving each other hugs.

“Nadia! Let’s go to the podium!” Rosa exclaimed, a giant smile on her face as she held her hand out. Looking back at Natalia and Miles, they both urged to go. With a grill filled smile on her face, she waved to whichever camera was on her and ran out excitedly with Rosa to where most of the Mercedes team where going to be along with media.

Upon getting to the infamous barrier as they waited for all three winning cars to arrive in parc ferme, Nadia held her head as she expressed her excitement to the woman. Members of the media could see that Nadia was making her way there, her own little paparazzi forming with many questions being asked but Rosa managed to guide her to the very front.

Lewis climbed out of the car, the neon and purple helmet sitting pretty as he walked towards the team doing a little dance on the way. Spotting Nadia first, his grin widened with his eyes closing a bit as he approached her. Once in front of her, Nadia threw arms around him and kissed his open visor, a brown and glossy residue sticking on there. Their eyes locked once and it was such an intimate yet soft moment between the two.

Her eyes filled with pride and happiness and his filled with gratitude for the woman in front of him, a special bond building right in front of the world. Planting the forehead of his helmet with her head, they scrunched their noses as they maintained eye contact with each other, not even realising that they were holding hands.

The moment was shortly interrupted by the noise of fans and the Mercedes team screaming in joy as he moved on to celebrate with them before hurrying to take his weight and get ready to go to the break down room before stepping onto the podium.

Minutes later, the drivers reappeared onto the podium, each one waving at their respective teams along with the crowd. As the English national anthem began, Nadia’s eyes went to the figure of her smiling husband, hands tucked behind him. Looking at the man and not the obscene amount of cameras on her at that moment, Nadia had to remind herself that all this was to benefit their parents’ feelings and to simply help Lewis.

This wasn’t real.

The trophies were being handed to the drivers, Lewis immediately lifting his and pointing to his team then Nadia, winking at her before waving to the screaming crowd. Watching him in his element was never going to get old , that was for sure and thinking about how all this could end one day made her stomach drop, her facade still showing the proud smile as she watched him leave the podium.

At least two hours later, Nadia, Miles and Natalia sat on one of the benches outside the Mercedes hospitality with their ice cold waters in front of them. The two teased Nadia to no end about her meeting Pharrell and how most of the interaction was caught on video by fans, posting on twitter.

“Listen, when you’re a stylist and you see your fav fashion person in real life, you’d scream too.” Nadia laughed as she hid her face in her hands.

“Just saying Nads, the shocked look you gave him when he was about to walk up to you lot was so cute. Gonna get that shit printed.” Natalia joked, earning an eye roll from Nadia.

“Aye! There’s the man of the hour!” Miles exclaimed, watching Lewis walk up to the building with Rosa right next to him, the Mercedes shirt flowing in the light breeze.

Giving his friends their own handshakes, he sat next to Nadia and gave her a fist bump, the two of them giggling right after that. “There’s no way you just fist bumped her?” Miles said, pointing at his friend then Nadia.

“It’s our thing, don’t worry about it bro.” Lewis said , a mischievous smile on his face. “So how was your first race, bruv? Susie said you should try be a team principal.” He asked, turning his body to face her once again.

“My days, Lew! That shit got me on my toes. The numbers took a while to understand but I eventually got it. Also which ones Leclerc?” Nadia asked, looking at the others.

“That one’s Charles. He’s a good one.” Natalia responded.

“Oh okay, he’s cool in my books. Those two red bulls got on my fucking nerves though. Driving like maniacs and that other one almost pushing you off the track?” In all fairness, Nadia was fuming at the thought of it. It was one of the moments that constantly replayed in her mind.

“Oh Perez. They’re okay, just glad I was able to get on podium.” Lewis shrugged his shoulders as he relaxed his arms onto the table. “There are no cameras here, bruv. I don’t fucking like them or that fuck ass team with their team principal. A bunch of pricks.” Nadia cussed, her friends watching her and giggling at her reaction.

“That’s how we feel as well but mr nice guy doesn’t think so. Welcome to the club, babe.” Natalia reached out her hand to Nadia’s. Accepting it, she breathed out and looked at Lewis once again who gave her a little smile.

“Tell those guys to get their shit together or else I’ll deal with them myself. Anyways, your drive was amazing today.” She smiled as if she wasn’t pissed two seconds ago.

“Y’know what, Nads? I totally get it.” Miles said, fist bumping her, adding a little gimmick after it.

“Anyone want ice cream?” Lewis proposed, watching his friends and their interaction, his attention on Nadia and how passionate she felt about the race. His eyes stuck on her the more she spoke about her weekend, her lip gloss from earlier still shining with their interaction at parc ferme replaying in his mind.

nadiahamilton • 14 min. “Miami, you’ve been good!”

taglist: @non-stop-imagines @folkloresthings @tispys-blog @userlando @lorarri @thisismeracing @thatsdemko @myescapefromthislife @slytherinjimin3nthusiast @jamie2305 @like-fire-love-blog @sugardontbesweet @simpfortoomanymen @mauvecherie-writes @queenshikongo3 @eugene-emt-roe @deepgothfiremuffin @18754389 @cherry2stems @anubisnoir @littlelizzies-world @httpsserene @apenasumlug4r @youre-sooooo-funny @eddiesbitch83 @arshiyuh @alika-4466 @peyiswriting @sunfairyy @roseseraj @vsfavs @goldenalbon @mistruscity @tian-monique @hopefulromantic1 (i admire your work sm!)

(if your acc is blank, that mean tumblr couldn’t find you!)

dividers by: @cafekitsune

nadia’s fc: @/unclewaffles on ig!

all pictures are from ig and pinterest!

[bella-rose29]

Pretty

Anthony Lockwood x gn!reader

requested by anon: Saw your post about Lockwood ideas so here's one! Reader and Lockwood have an extremely close call on a case and in the heat of the moment, Lockwood ends up kissing the reader.

Made this one gn since no gender was specified! hopefully I haven't messed up anywhere with that (pls let me know tho)

I am also so so sorry about how long this took anon 😭 I have nobody to blame but myself for that I won't lie

lockwood has his tea like Cameron and I'm convinced it's a fact

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: swearing, they fight some visitors

Tag list: @anathemaloren, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @dangelnleif, @el-de-phi, @ell0ra-br3kk3r, @informedimagining, @karensirkobabes, @mischivana, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @ran23sblog, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @wandamaximoffbae, @whenselenefallsinlove, @wordsarelife

As always, let me know here if you'd like to be added to/removed from my Lockwood and Co tag list, or send me a message! <3

(not my image, also I'm fully aware of how many times I use this one)

"Hey, I've just put the kettle on, d'you want tea?" Lucy chirped as Y/n entered the kitchen, paperwork in hand. They nodded gratefully, shoving the papers onto the table and flopping in a chair. "What's all that for?" Lucy asked, gesturing to the multiple files now scattered in front of Y/n.

"The case tonight. Lockwood's refusing to help me with the research, the little shit. Says he's got 'important business' to go on, whatever that means." They frowned, remembering how he'd been essentially ignoring them all day. "Did I do something to upset him?" they asked Lucy, looking up at the girl.

"Don't think so. Why?"

"Don't know. Just, he hasn't talked to me all day, so I-" Y/n was cut off by Lucy's snort of laughter, and their frown deepened. "What?! Why are you laughing?!"

"He hasn't talked to you all day? God, just tell him you like him already!"

Y/n flushed at her words, and threw a scrunched up piece of paper at Lucy. "Shut up," they mumbled, crossing their arms and slouching in their chair. Lucy only laughed more, handing over a cup of tea and sitting down next to her friend as she started to rifle through the papers. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you out, silly. If Lockwood won't do it, I will. You'll be so unprepared otherwise, and I can't have my best friend dying yet."

"Thanks, Luce."

"Sure," she shrugged, studying a news article. "Dunno why you like him though. He can be a monumental tw-"

"Hi Lucy, Y/n," Lockwood said, stepping through the door with carrier bags in his hands. He looked at them, wondering why they were suddenly quiet when he'd heard the two of them talking before he walked in, but when he saw the kettle boiled on the side that was ready for him to make his tea to his liking he forgot all about it. Dumping the bags, he moved to the cupboards and reached for the honey, pouring the right amount into the mug. Lockwood heard the scrape of a chair and a whispered protest as he added the white sugar (one teaspoon), and turning around he found Lucy getting up to leave and Y/n tugging on her arm and begging her to stay. Lucy had a wicked grin, though, and in one swift movement she'd unhanded herself from Y/n and skipped out of the door, and a moment later her footsteps could be heard on the stairs.

Y/n was glaring at the door, as if it would bring Lucy back to the kitchen, but when Lockwood sat down next to them with his cup of tea in one hand and the deft fingers of his other picking up a pile of papers, their expression immediately softened.

"Glad you finally felt you could grace the plebs with your presence, my lord," they joked, hoping he would apologise for being absent all day. He cracked a smile, shaking his head as he chuckled.

"Can't be around all the time, can I? You'll boost my ego too much."

"I would argue we reign your ego in. Honestly, I'm suffocating on it right now." Their eyes were wide in mock frankness, making Lockwood laugh more. "Seriously though," Y/n said when he'd calmed down a little. "Where were you?" They tried to not sound too hurt, but Lockwood picked up on it like he always did.

"I told you, I had important business-"

"What 'important business', Lockwood? Because I've had to do this research on my own, and there's way too much of it!" He at least had the good grace to look sheepish, scratching the back of his neck and mumbling something into his tea. George entered the kitchen then, pausing whatever conversation Y/n and Lockwood had been having. He stood in the doorway, picking up on the strange atmosphere but not knowing what to do about it, and shook his head as he went to make a sandwich. None of them talked, and George kept casting the two of them weird looks as he moved around the kitchen, looking like he wanted to say something but never getting that far, until eventually he finished making his lunch and left, closing the door with a soft click (and a loud protest from the hinges) behind him. Y/n had turned back to their papers, attempting to read over the documents and figure out the history of the building before they headed out for the evening. "Are you at least gonna help me now?" they sighed, looking back up at him. He nodded, washing out the mug of tea that he'd downed in the last few minutes.

They sat in silence for a while after that, only talking when one of them found something interesting or worth making note of. Lockwood stopped rifling through papers at one point, file limp in his hand while he studied his coworker. "I'm sorry," he said, and although his voice was quiet it startled Y/n. "I just- I know I'm difficult sometimes- okay, fine, a lot of the time," he amended at Y/n's raised eyebrows. "But I really did have important business to attend to. I was stocking up on equipment for tonight. Not much, just a couple of flares."

"And that took you the whole day? George has only just come down for lunch and it's three in the afternoon."

"I was also..." he sighed through his nose, irritation flitting across his face. "I was also getting this," he said, rushing the words as he yanked something out of his jacket pocket. How he'd ever got the item in there in the first place Y/n had no clue, since they weren't aware of Lockwood having pockets that large.

"What is it?" they asked, skeptical of the rectangular object they now held. It had been expertly wrapped, with a nice little bow on the front, and when Lockwood simply gestured for them to open it they peeled the paper off, revealing the book inside. "Is this-"

"Took me ages to find a store that had it. I know how much you've been obsessing about getting it so I figured since I was out I might as well. I didn't realise how long it would take though, and I didn't exactly want to admit that to you either."

"Lockwood, you really didn't have to do-"

"Shush, or I'll return it." That shut them up, making them clutch the book close to their chest as if to prevent him from taking it away. "Come on. We've got work to do."

~~~

Half an hour later Lockwood was making another cup of tea for both of them, laughing as Y/n complained about some of the details (or lack thereof) in the building plans.

"I mean, there's an entire room that just... doesn't exist on the floor plans, even though we went to the house! How does that happen? It's not even an extension- oh, thank you," they were interrupted when Lockwood passed them their mug, hot tea warming Y/n's hands as they gripped the beverage. His hand lingered on the handle a moment longer than was necessary, his gaze catching on theirs, and Y/n held their breath when their fingers brushed. Lockwood seemed to snap out of whatever daze he was in, jerking his arm back, clearing his throat, and shuffling over to his own seat.

It was weird; they'd brushed past each other on the stairs and had curled up next to each other on sofas before, and held (very limited) eye contact every day (it was awkward holding it for more than a few seconds, even with Lockwood), so why was this time any different?

They spent the next few hours in more silence, the atmosphere mildly awkward as they worked, and by the time they pulled up to the house in the back of the taxi not long before sundown Y/n thought they might burst from the sheer amount of tension they could feel.

They had always been an overthinker, analysing minuscule details that, in reality, probably didn't matter, but for some reason stuck in Y/n's head for months after. It didn't help that they had feelings for Lockwood, since it made every touch or lingering glance have a stronger effect on their overthinking tendencies, and very often took them out of the real world and into their own head.

Which was unfortunate when they needed to be very much in the real world to fight Visitors.

In fairness, the man that owned the property had told them (with a shocking amount of certainty) that there were two Type Ones, one Shade and one Lurker, and while Y/n was inclined to disagree that he knew best, Lockwood was flashing a winning smile and grasping the keys, assuring the owner that Type Ones were nothing the pair of them couldn't handle.

They set up their chains and defences, did an initial reading of the whole house (the stairs came back as the coldest at nine degrees, with the upstairs family bathroom a close second at ten - worrying for the early hour), then returned to the kitchen and put the kettle on, cracking open a packet of biscuits.

"Are you sure about what he said? I mean he's what, late thirties to early forties? How reliable is he for identifying Type Ones if he won't be able to see them?"

"Look, we have no reason to distrust hi-"

"I literally just gave a reason."

"Okay, fine. No reason to distrust him yet. Everything we've seen so far from our initial readings is pointing to Type Ones, and we're Lockwood and Co. This isn't anything we can't handle." Y/n had been about to protest again, to say something about how the stairs and bathroom really shouldn't have been so cold this early on, but then he had smiled at them, one reserved purely for his friends, and they melted, all thoughts of danger gone out of their head.

Perhaps they should have fought harder against him, or perhaps they shouldn't have become too wrapped up in the moments from the kitchen earlier, but either way they didn't notice the Limbless until it had nearly pushed its misshapen body through their head.

~~~

Lockwood had shoved them out the way, their bodies rolling over each other as they tumbled down the hallway, the air shifting as the Limbless soared over them.

Lockwood ended up on top, his body shielding Y/n's, and he lifted his head up from where it had previously been in their neck, asking a desperate "Are you okay?" They nodded in response, too shaken to do much else, and then Lockwood was up, yanking their arm to pull them up beside him as he drew his rapier. Y/n did the same, hands trembling slightly as they finally registered the miasma that felt like it was suffocating them.

"Limbless, but we can handle that. You getting anything that can help?" He was referencing Y/n's Touch, but when they pressed their hand to the bannister experimentally the feeling of fear that washed over them was so strong they stumbled back, bumping into Lockwood.

"Shit, that was not fun," they said, grimacing at the headache they could already feel forming. "We can't use flares, Lockwood, it's too cramped in here. We're gonna have to draw it away if we can, then find the Source. It's got to be the stairs somehow, I just can't figure it out."

"Okay. Here's the plan," he started, but Y/n was unfocused, staring down the hallway over his shoulder.

"Lockwood?"

"You figure out where the Source is, I'll hold it off-"

"Lockwood?"

"-and then we'll be out of here and back home with a cup of tea within the hour."

"LOCKWOOD!"

"What? Why are you shou-"

Y/n grabbed his face in both of their hands, pushing him around to see what was behind him.

"Shit," he said, paling. Where there had only been a single Limbless to deal with before, the number of Visitors had gone up, with Shades and Lurkers that the owner had mentioned earlier joining the now two Limbless that were hovering at the end of the hallway. The feeling of miasma was washing over the two of them like a tidal wave, and Y/n pressed a hand to their mouth to try and stop throwing up. "We can still do this?" he said, although it sounded more like a question than an inspirational chat to his teammate.

"Lockwood, we need to just go. There's no way we can do this on our own, your pride be damned."

"Okay, okay. We'll collect as much of our kit as we can then, a lot of it is new and I don't want it being wasted. Do you think you're up for it? You look very ill," he frowned, concern for Y/n working its way into every movement of his body.

"Can't we just ditch the kit and get out?"

"As much as I'd love to, we are incredibly under equipped right now and have to pass through the kitchen anyway. We'd do well to have a few extra supplies on us, don't you think?" His voice was gentle, nothing condescending about his question, and Y/n found themselves nodding when he searched their eyes for an answer. His whole body relaxed, and then he was grabbing their hand and slowly retreating towards the kitchen, hoping not to alert the Visitors to their presence.

They were doing well, nearly past the kitchen threshold, up until Lockwood brushed his thumb over the back of Y/n's hand and they stumbled slightly, scuffing their foot on the floorboards and kicking a cabinet.

The Limbless (both of them) snapped their bloated heads to face the two agents, and Lockwood and Y/n only had a brief second to share a look when the ghosts came soaring towards them before he was tugging them into the kitchen, slamming the door behind them and rushing past the counter.

"Pick up what you can, anything to defend yourself with!" he shouted, wheeling around to grab a bag. They made a move towards the iron chains and added a ring to the circle that they'd already made, doubling up the strength of the invisible wall, then dragged in the kit they could reach and stood within the circle.

"Lockwood! Get in here!"

He made a mad dash for them, eyes wide and face flushed from the cold that was now creeping in to the kitchen. "Okay, what now? We'll be protected for a little while but we can't stay for-"

"Calm down, alright? We can sort out our kit in here, quickly, and then use the back door just there. We might have to leave some of these chains behind though, they're pretty heavy."

"Temperature's dropped significantly. That's not a good sign. Do you think there are more hauntings in here?"

"I wouldn't put it past this place. Besides, it's eleven. The others all came out quite early." They crouched down, starting to work methodically through the bags, but Lockwood stayed standing.

"What would I do without you, hey?"

Y/n tried not to flush at the compliment, remembering that the previous two times they'd been caught up in analysing everything that happened between the two of them they'd invoked danger, and continued going through the bags. "Can you help please? Instead of standing there like a lemon."

It took them five minutes to finish up, bags being zipped and thrown over shoulders, belts checked for stock and rapiers drawn. They would have to leave the chains behind, which was a shame, but necessary if they wanted to be able to move quickly. "On three?" Lockwood asked, glancing over his shoulder to check with Y/n. They nodded, bracing themselves for the run. Lockwood started counting down, and just as he said "Three" the kitchen door blew off its hinges.

~~~

"Shit! Go!" A Poltergeist, manifesting in the kitchen and manipulating the room if the many knives that were now floating in the air were anything to go by. The back door was only a couple of metres away, but the real question was whether they could outrun the blades.

They almost did, launching themselves out the exit and slamming the door shut behind them, and Lockwood breathed a sigh of relief until he saw the blood on Y/n's arm. "It's fine," they said when they caught him looking, moving away from the door. "We should get out of here."

He didn't say anything, instead sheathing his rapier and dropping the bag he was holding to grab Y/n's face and kiss them. Y/n almost dropped their own things, about to reach up and draw him in further, but he was pulling back before they could, picking up the kit and moving away from the house. "Come on! We need to find a taxi!" Y/n stood gaping at his retreating form before they heard the wailings of some of the Visitors inside and quickly followed after him.

~~~

The taxi ride home was awkward.

Lockwood wasn't looking at Y/n, and they were starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable with the amount of silence that enveloped the two of them.

"I'm sorry," Lockwood said, making Y/n jump slightly even though his voice was quiet.

"...What for?"

"For- I shouldn't have- I- For kissing you." He still wasn't looking at them, so he couldn't see the stifled smile on their face.

"It's okay, Lockwood."

"No, I should have just got us out of there instead of- I put us in danger and that was stupid of me," he turned to face them, expression earnest. "And I don't even know how you..." he trailed off, blushing.

"It wasn't... I wouldn't mind doing it again, if that's... where you're going?" Y/n was surprised at the confidence they had to admit that, given how bad they were normally at expressing their feelings for him. Lockwood blushed slightly, his cheeks tinted pink, and his eyes widened.

"Uh- okay," he said, hiding his smile behind his hand as he braced his elbow on the door. "Are you sure you're okay? You're bleeding a lot."

"I'm sure it's fine. I think it's only shallow, and most of the blood is dried now. If it'll make you feel better you can bandage me up when we get back."

"Okay. I'll put the kettle on, too. I really need a cup of tea right now."

~~~

True to his word, Lockwood put the kettle on the stove and grabbed two mugs out of the cupboard before heading to the bathroom for the medical kit. He then patched Y/n's arm up (who was right about it only being shallow, but that didn't stop Lockwood fussing over them), concentrating far more than he needed to but taking his time with the dressing in a way that made Y/n's heart flutter at his attentiveness.

Now they sat at the kitchen table with steaming mugs of tea, a plate of biscuits between them as they talked about both everything and nothing, the sun rising and casting the kitchen in a golden light. At some point Lucy appeared, making herself her own cup of tea and heading back upstairs to the attic afterwards, murmuring a sleepy 'morning' to her friends as she shut the door behind her.

Y/n shut their eyes, soaking in the freshly made cup of tea (Lucy had made a large pot for the three of them) and the small warmth that the sun pouring through the window provided. They could feel Lockwood watching them, and sure enough when Y/n cracked an eye open he was focused on them, a soft smile on his face while he sipped his tea. "What?" they asked, a smile of their own forming.

"Nothing. You just look really... really pretty."

"Pretty?" Y/n asked, and Lockwood blushed a little, spluttering as he tried to explain himself.

"I don't know how else to describe you! I can come up with something else if you'd prefer, I just thought it fit! You know, with the light on your face and you looked really peaceful and lovely and..." he trailed off into unintelligible mumbles, turning to stare at the thinking cloth instead of Y/n's face as his blush grew brighter. They laughed in response, leaning forward across the small space between them to grab Lockwood by the tie and pull him in for a kiss. It was short and sweet, but still left the two of them breathless and flushed, and the resultant smile on Lockwood's face was well worth the amount of nervous butterflies in Y/n's stomach.

"You're pretty too, Lockwood."

[wosoluver]

You always know what to say and do.

Andrea Medina x reader

-> got this idea while watching her tiktok, where they're playing the marshmallow game, so if you want some good context to it, pls look it up. Once again this is fictional, and don't necessarily reflect the reality, although Andrea has been open about her ADHD and hyperactivity.

TW: angst, anxiety attack (sort of), mentions of hyperactivity and feelings of anxiety.

Andrea Medina Masterlist

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

You and your girlfriend were almost never apart. You thrive in each-others presence. Always a safe place to joke around, talk, sing, cry or sometimes just sit around in comfortable silence. And by silence it actually meant you were relaxing quietly while Andrea walked around talking nonstop.

It never bothered her because she knew you were paying attention to her every move and words, and it made her feel like someone was actually listening to her. And you, you loved those moments more than anything. It didn't bother you either, to you, her voice was the most relaxing sound, you could listen to her jokes all day. You loved that despite knowing you had a way lower energy level, she could always still be one hundred percent herself, even if it meant enduring her hyperactive self. It was indeed very comforting having someone so opposite to you that yet complemented you perfectly deep down inside.

So when she called you up at 3 AM crying, your heart broke. It was hard enough being away from each other, when she was away with the sub 20 national team. This time they were away for a game against Germany, and the call was unexpected to say the least. Even though you would spend hours on facetime, she usually slept like a baby through the night, especially after training for hours. That's one of the only things that would really drain some energy out of her.

Andrea was the type of person to never break down in front of others, so when she called you in the middle of the night, you knew it was bad.

"What happened amor? Why are you crying?" - you asked desperately.

You could barely make up the words she was saying through the phone.

"Breathe okay? I'm here, cry all you need and then talk to me amor" -

It took around ten minutes for her cries to die down.

"Everyone hates me!" - "They think I am annoying and they don't want me around!" -

"Did someone say that to you?"-

She shook her head while she spoke - "No, but I know it, I can tell"-

"Baby, tell me what happened okay? Is Ornella with you?" -

"No, we're not sharing rooms this week." - I nodded to her, reassuring her to continue - "We were at Martina's room and I had an idea for a tiktok, you know the one marshmallow two marshmallow game?"

"Yes I saw you posted it earlier. But what happened?" -

"While we were filming, it felt like everyone was so annoyed at me, like they were tired and that I was taking up space you know? I know not a lot of people can deal with the way I am, but I don't know, I just thought we were all good friends, and that it would be fun..."-

"Cariño, I wish I could hold you right now." - you say sadly - "But we've talked about this. You can't live worrying if others might be bothered by it. It's who you are! You don't have to feel bad for the ones around you! I hate that you felt that way today, I just wish I could be there with you."

"I love the girls and I just sometimes forget how overbearing I can be. It's kind of hard, when I'm back home with you, Lola, Cris, Wifi and the team I don't even think about it, I don't worry. I forget how much support I have and I'm so thankful. And I love you amor. So much." -

By now you were tearing up. For the last year and a half, you've seen her through it all, and you knew her pain. You knew how hard it was for her to say it out loud, even more to anyone that was not the reflection in her mirror. She keeps her smile up even when she feels the saddest. Your guess was that she kept that fake smile and jokes, kept it up until she was finally alone in the hotel room. And then just exploded from her feelings. And you guessed it right.

She only decided to call you when she realized she couldn't calm down by herself. That was, after hours of crying.

"Was Ornella there?" - you ask already knowing the answer as she shook her head no. You knew if she was, this most likely wouldn't have happened.

"How about you take hot a shower? I'll stay on the call, and when you're done we can go to sleep?" - She easily gave in to your idea, knowing that's exactly what she needed right now, besides the cuddle that she wouldn't be getting till next monday.

After taking a rather quick shower not wanting to be away from the call too long, she put on the hoodie she brought along that smelled like you. The piece of clothing was her own, but it acquired the smell from how much you wore it around the apartment.

Laying back down on the bed and going under the covers, she focused once again on the phone screen.

"Better?" she only nodded quickly - "I love you, Andrea, so much. And I know that if Ornella was there you would've felt seen and safer. But you can't depend on having one of us by your side, to feel like you deserve to be who you are. I know Lola and I talk about it a lot, but it's true. You can't be careful around others at the expense of your own feelings. It's not healthy. They can remove themselves if they'd like. By now we know that some people don't have much patience unfortunately. They have no idea the gem they're missing on, my love." -

"Gracias bebé, for knowing what to say and do. I know I need to work on fighting these feelings off. And promise tomorrow I'll follow the drill and try to stay close to Ornella. Even though that's the opposite of what you just said." - seemly as on queue she let's out an yawn.

"Okay baby. I'll leave you to get some sleep then."

She immediately protested -"Please stay until one of us falls a sleep?" -

You couldn't say no to her.

──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──

Took a little bit of my own personal experience to write this one and hope it also helps anyone in need of some comfort and reassuring words. 🩷

Also my first time writing, so I'd love to hear your thoughts and advice. This feels like it needs some improvement.

[godlygreta]

god is fair | j. t. kiszka

title | god is fair

word count | 7.7k

warnings | swearing, mentions of alcohol - nothing too terrible... yet ;)

author's note | i've had this in the chamber for some time now, i just lost the inspo to write, which is why i haven't in a long time. this isn't a promise that i'll post more fics as they come to me, seeing as i'm a senior in college who has a fuck ton of other things to do. there will be a part 2 to this fic, but i couldn't tell you when it's coming :)

also, very much so listening to god is fair, sexy nasty by mac miller while writing this & starting the next part, so take that as you will ;)

unedited as hell so pls excuse any mistakes !

You always had this rivalry since the beginning of freshman year. This guy, Jake, would never show up to any of the classes the two of you had together, but always got the highest grades on every single goddamn exam that your Intro to Bio professor gave out. It infuriated you.

You figured that in the spring semester, you would be freed from the disappearing boy, but you weren’t. While the teacher called roll, everyone shouted out here. She landed upon his name, calling out to the class and looking through the rows of students. He had been there for orientation, sitting in one of the middle rows, slouched in his seat.

You planned to confront him the next day you had class together, on Wednesday, but Jake was nowhere to be found. Your roommate and your friends had heard your exhaustive theories as to why he was never in class. “Babe, you sound insane. Just let it go.”

But you couldn’t.

Competition lived deep within your roots, having an entire competition with the second top student in your graduating class in high school. Though the rage held between each other was never taken far outside of the academic realm, the two of you never thought to be friends and encourage one another. Thankfully, the two of you resolved the competition when the two of you realized you would be going into two very separate fields of study in college. 

Camren, who knew she was going to be a chemist from the time she first learned about chemistry, had told you she loved the competition – made it fun and kept things interesting. And there you were, going to school for Pre-Med with the same feeling. The two of you kept in contact, updating each other on the strive for greatness in college as well.

You kept a close relationship with a lot of your teachers, making sure to get on their good side before classes had really begun. You emailed most of them, especially your Anatomy and Physiology professor, Dr. Sahnya Heinz.

She was incredibly skilled in her field, leaving the active medical field to teach the new and future minds of medicine. It was a cliche line she delivered on the first day, but it encouraged that familiar competitive fire that dwelled within you.

You don’t quite remember how you came to figure out that Jake was ahead of you, but you had found out somehow from your professor, although it was an accident.

It made everything in you burn with anger and frustration. Anytime someone mentioned him, or mentioned the fact that you were second, you clenched your jaw and your teeth gritted together. Your friends had an inside joke that you were only mad because you had a huge crush on him.

“I barely even know what he looks like, Mel! I fucking hate the guy. Don’t start shit.” You’d plead, beer can in your hand in the lounge of some fraternity floor.

Over the next few semesters, you kept trying your hardest, spending most of your free time in the library, reading everything that you could to prepare for every exam. You wrote papers early, having them done at least three weeks in advance. As soon as you would be told about a new one, you’d immediately start finding sources.

You sauntered around campus, thinking that you would be way ahead of him. He still never showed up to any classes, aside from orientation and exam periods. You’d stare at him for a few moments while the teacher passed out the exam, looking over his face as much as you could.

His long hair would obscure your vision on occasion, making it hard to catch any of his features at all. From what you could see though, he had nice, full lips. His nose was something you could have stared at the entire exam period.

You watched him as he licked his lips, whispering a thank you to Heinz before grabbing his pencil from his desk and getting to work. You looked away from him as soon as Heinz put your exam on your desk, offering her a small smile and a quick thank you before getting to work.

It was almost spring break, meaning some of your assignments had been slowing, some of them had been increasing. A group of your friends from different majors told you about one of the lounge parties a fraternity on campus was throwing. “Sigma Tau has the worst lounge parties, Tamia. You know this.”

“They’re joining forces with the Delta’s though, so it’ll be better than normal! You have to come, you’ve always got your nose in a book. You haven’t drank with us in so long, I forget what you’re like when you’re drunk.”

“I don’t know… I need to work on this Midterm paper I have in Kainz’s class, it’s due next week.”

“Babe, it’s been done for weeks! You just keep editing it trying to find mistakes and there are none! I’ve literally read it five times. Please, go out with us, just tonight?”

You looked between Tamia and Mel, knowing in the end you would give into them anyways. “Ugh, fine! Tonight, and tonight only, just this once. If I don’t like it, though, I’m leaving and going to bed early.”

“You’ll have so much fun, I swear!” Mel and Tamia looked between each other, sharing expressions of excitement and happiness on their faces. You rolled your eyes, standing up from your chair.

You let them raid your closet, trying to throw something together quickly. Most of the time, Tamia and Mel never obeyed the dress code for the lounge parties, hating the idea of giving into the male gaze of the fraternity brothers. Tonight, however, was a bit different. The theme was Western, meaning it was cowboy hats and very tiny shorts.

You looked over the outfit that laid out in front of you, straw cowboy hat that Tamia had bought from Amazon (one for each of you), a pair of short shorts that may or may not show your ass a bit, and a red bandana top that Mel let you borrow last semester that you forgot to return. “I don’t know about this. I don’t even have the right shoes.”

“You forget we wear the same size, bitch, you’re going. No backing out.” They joked, tossing you a pair of white boots. “Just put that shit on while we heat up the curling iron, okay?”

“Fine, fine, okay.” You peel off your shirt, throwing on the one they picked out. Next to go were your pajama pants, which were replaced by the shorts. You kept the same socks on, knowing that nobody would see them anyways with the boots going up to the middle of your calf muscle. “I look fucking ridiculous.”

“You look fucking hot, now sit down while we do your hair and makeup,” Mel spoke, pulling out your desk chair while Tamia smiled wickedly with the curling wand in hand. You were nervous, looking at the both of them, but the good kind that settled under your skin and was left hidden behind the smallest smile.

You talked about upcoming exams with them while they did your hair and makeup, much to their dismay. They attempted to fill you in on the various drama situations going on around campus while you had been heavily plugged into your textbooks. You gasped often, finding shock and awe in some of the things they had been telling you about classmates.

They spoke about Jake, letting it slip that he had been planning on attending the party, joined at the hip with one of the girls he had been rumored to have been dating. One of the many. “Ugh, he just sounds like a douche. Gives me even more reason to hate him.”

“We’re not feeding into your delusion that he’s some douchebag. Dropping it.” Tamia spoke, putting her hands up in a surrender. Mel laughed, pulling away from you with an eyeliner pen in hand. “Maybe we’ll get you drunk enough to admit you like him.”

“I don’t like him, and I thought we were dropping the topic.” You looked at Tamia in the mirror, watching her face deadpan as she looked back at you.

“I have something hot in my hands, don’t be rude to me.” The three of you laughed, getting back into the rhythm of getting ready. You let them do their thing to you, curling the last bit of your hair and putting the finishing touches of highlighter on your brow bone.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, marveling at the job they did. You thanked them for getting you all dolled up, watching them change into their outfits. It was mostly just them taking off the sweats they were wearing, throwing them over the back of your desk chair. You took a few pictures with them in your mirror before finally deciding to head out.

The party had started a half an hour ago, walking into the party late like most people did. The three of you got in easily with matching the dress code, immediately looking for the drinks table. The boys in charge handed the three of you a free shot of anything you wanted. Mel chose for you, starting the night out roughly with a shot of Svedka.

You grabbed a Sprite from one of the boys in one hand, the shot of Svedka in the other. The three of you tapped your glasses together before downing the shot. The alcohol burned as it slipped down your throat, trying to soothe it with the taste and coolness of the Sprite. You shook a bit, throwing the cup away in a nearby trash can.

“That was fucking gross, I hate you so much for choosing Svedka.”

“I could’ve chosen something even more nasty, like Jack.” Mel laughed, leading the three of you over to a section in the lounge where you could stand a decent enough distance away from one another, instead of being piled on top of one another.

“I would have rather taken a shot of Jack, Mel.” You spoke, sipping more of your Sprite. Tamia pointed out a few of the people they had talked about earlier, letting you put names to faces.

In the midst, two of the Sigma brothers decided to start a dance battle, capturing the attention of those around them. Everyone joined in, gathering around the two guys. Mel and Tamia joined too, but you had slipped out of their grasp by telling them you had to use the bathroom.

You were happy to escape the party, sneaking out with a bottle of Smirnoff the boys had left unattended. You walked outside, taking a deep breath in. You were thankful to be met with the smell of fresh air, not smelling sweat and booze everywhere. Your peace and tranquility was ruined by someone’s voice, “Well, don’t you look adorable.”

Your head snapped towards the voice, seeing Jake sitting up against the bike rack with a cigarette between his fingers. “Shut up.”

“What? I can’t compliment you?”

“No,” you started, crossing your arms with the bottle still in your hand. “No, you can’t.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I hate you.” Jake looked at you, up and down, taking a drag of his cigarette. You screwed off the cap of the bottle, taking a pull. You tried your hardest to not make a face, looking away slightly when the familiar sting settled in your throat.

“Why do you hate me? I’ve never spoken to you before.”

“Do I have to have a reason?” You asked, walking closer to him.

“Suppose not. But if I knew why you hated me,” he tossed his cigarette butt on the ground, stomping on it with his boot. “Then maybe I could find a way to make you not hate me.”

“Unless you flunk your next exam, I guarantee that won’t happen.”

“Oh, I get it.” He chuckled, standing up from the bike rack he was leaning against. He grabbed his cigarette butt up from the ground, tossing it into the nearest garbage can. He turned towards you, staring at you with his brown eyes. “You’re just mad because I’m smarter than you.”

“You’re never in class. You shouldn’t be ahead of me.” You glared at him, lips moving into a frown.

“Just because I’m never there doesn’t mean I’m not getting the information. I work five, sometimes six days a week. We only have class three days a week. Typically, I gotta work those days. Heinz sends me the powerpoints and the assignment notes so I never miss anything.”

“Oh yeah? Where do you even work then?” You asked.

He chuckled, fingers brushing yours that were wrapped around the bottle. “Now if I told you that, it would ruin all the fun,” he looked you up and down once more, licking his lips slightly. “Well, maybe I’ll see you and your bottle inside.” 

You waited til the doors closed behind him to roll your eyes, and huff outwardly. You took the bottle of Smirnoff, turned on your heels and walked towards your dorm hall. You hated Jake. You really hated Jake.

—

Your midterms came and went. The stress decreased slightly, but only to be raised again as the end of the semester loomed around. Assignments started piling up, various papers and presentations due all around the same week. Since the end of Spring Break, you had been holed up in your room, left to your mountains of homework.

Your Microbio class had a presentation due that coincided with the research project you had been working on all semester long. Human Anatomy and Physiology (or affectionately known as BIO 312) had a major cumulative exam on the entire semester, which stressed you out more than any other homework assignment or exam you had.

Thankfully, your school held an all day event that attempted to boost the morale of the students on campus. Filled with a bunch of free things, you took advantage of everything offered.

Lined up on tables were various student organizations set up, with their own little games and prizes. A few of them had speakers that played the music they wanted to listen to, all speakers attempting to outman the other. However, the one that ended up winning was a tie dye station located in the lawn, handing out free t-shirts to dye.

One of the guys at the tie dye station had a wide smile on his face while his hands were dripping with dye. Setting your prizes down at a table where Tamia and Mel had put their things, you walked over to him. He welcomed you over with a smile, “Hey! Lookin’ to tie dye?”

“Yeah, I’m a medium.” You smiled at him, blocking the sun with your hand. He called over to Benny, asking him to pull a medium out for you. Benny handed you the shirt with a smile. “I’ve never dyed anything before.”

“Never?! That’s a crime against mankind, darlin’, let’s get this shirt dyed.” He spoke, talking you over the colors in each of the buckets. He explained to you some basic color theory, although you had remembered that from your high school painting class, you didn’t stop him; he was pretty when he spoke.

The curls on his head stuck out from the shaved sides, the gold of his earrings stood out underneath the blistering April sun. He licked his lips often, using the back of his hand to wipe sweat from his forehead. He helped you pick out the style you wanted, making sure the rubber bands were placed exactly where you wanted them. “I’ll dip them in the bucket for you so you don’t get your hands dirty.”

“Thank you. I could’ve managed on my own, but I definitely appreciate it.”

“Of course. What’s your name?” You offer up to him, before he lets out a chuckle. You question him with a pull of your eyebrows. “Jake talks about you.”

“You know Jake?”

“Yeah, he’s my twin.” As soon as the word left his mouth, you could see the resemblance; you almost scolded yourself for not realizing it sooner. They were similar, especially in their features and their eyes, although the two of them had very distinct color differences. Josh, as he told you after dropping the bomb on you, had warmer eyes, filled with caramel colored hues of brown in relation to Jake’s colder tones; his eyes were a darker shade of brown, with the occasional gleam of flirtation laced within the reflection.

He spoke quite differently from Jake, mostly just with the sound of his voice. It matched their eyes, their personalities. Josh’s bright, bubbly stature followed in his voice, almost theatrical as he spoke. “I guess that makes sense, you two do kind of look alike. Minus the hair, of course.”

“Well, of course. Mine’s better,” you liked that about him - how kind his tone was. You attempted to grill him about what Jake was saying about you, curiosity flowing violently through your bloodstream as if it lit your body on fire. “He just says that you’re second in the Bio class you have with him, and that it makes you mad.”

“It does, Jake’s never there. I’ve seen him three times, and two of those times were for exams.” Josh wrung out the part that had been soaking in the dye for a bit, watching the water fall back into the bucket.

“Yeah, it’s cause he’s working all the time, if I’m honest. Jake stays home during the week to work at the nursing home in our hometown. We don’t really have a large CNA population, most of the people who work there are highschool kids, so Jake’s really been their guy. Especially since high school, as soon as he graduated he moved to full time. All the old ladies love him.” He snorts, dipping your shirt into the blue dye.

“I didn’t know that.” You thought he was lying about where he was, which is why guilt started to eat away at you. You felt terrible for making assumptions, but you couldn’t take any of that back now.

“Jake doesn’t talk to a lot of people, but we love him anyway.” You chewed at your bottom lip, rethinking your opinion of Jake. “You goin’ to the concert later tonight?”

“Hadn’t decided. Mel and Tamia want to, so I’ll probably end up going. Are you?”

“Yeah, I think I’ll probably go.”

“Do you know who’s playing?”

“Some local band I think? I’ve heard a lot of the girls think the frontman’s pretty handsome.” He spoke with a smirk. You promised him you’d go, just to see if the girls had been right. He handed you your t-shirt to hold while he grabbed you a plastic bag. He also handed you a piece of paper with instructions on how to take care of your new tie dye.

“Make sure when you wash it, you wash it by itself. Otherwise, you’ll dye all of your other clothes and believe me, you don’t want that,” he chuckled, as if he was speaking from experience.

You thanked him with a warm smile, waving to him before returning to your room. As soon as you got back, you opened your window, allowing the air flow to travel inside. It kept you cool, allowing you to walk around comfortably with a t-shirt and shorts on. You put your plastic bag in the closet of your room, writing on your white board to remember to take it out and wash it tomorrow.

You texted Mel and Tamia, knowing that Mel would probably have some smart comeback about why you want to go to the concert. It wasn’t that you didn’t join them on nights out, you just had a lot riding on your academic success. Not only because you were the first one in your family to go to college, but also because of your mass of scholarships that only continued to flow if your GPA was at a suitable level. Anything below a 3.2, and you would lose almost all of them.

To: The 3 Dumb Sluts

Are we going to the concert tonight?

From: The 3 Dumb Sluts - Mel

Are you offering to come with us without us needing to beg and plead for you to join?

To: The 3 Dumb Sluts

Don’t make me take it back, Mel

From: The 3 Dumb Sluts - Tamia

We’re absolutely going. Come to mine whenever you want to get ready :)

To: The 3 Dumb Sluts

The doors open at 8 right? I’ll be over about 5:30-6ish. Gotta finish up this paper for Heinz real quick

You locked your phone before they could scold you for doing homework on a day that was designated for relaxation and recuperation. You pulled out your Anat and Physio binder, pulling out the sources you printed off in the library. You ran through the last one with a blue highlighter between your teeth. 

You set an alarm on your phone for five o’clock, saving enough time for you to shower.  You were about halfway through the last page when your timer went off. You silenced it, attempting to hurriedly finish highlighting the page. The article was placed onto your desk, highlighter returned to the cup on your desk filled with various writing utensils.

You pulled out your shower caddy, putting it on top of your dresser before pulling out your robe. You laid it over the edge of your bed, removing all of your clothes. You threw them into your hamper and put on your robe. You slipped on your slides, grabbed your caddy and traveled to the bathroom.

Underneath the uneven streams from the showerhead, you thought about Jake.

Maybe your first impressions of him were wrong. When Josh told you about the nursing home back in their hometown, you felt instantaneously bad for assuming that he just never showed up. You knew from what Jake had told you, that he had work, but you figured that was just an excuse.

You bit at the skin of your lips, hands on your shoulders as you soaked the warmth of the water in. You were pulled out of your thoughts very quickly as someone flushed the toilet, making the water fade in from super hot to super fucking cold. You hated the school’s water system.

You finished your shower quickly, drying off with the towel slightly before putting your robe on and throwing your hair up into your towel. You walked back into your room, locking it behind you. You set your caddy back where it originally was.

You threw on a pair of jean shorts that hadn’t seen the light of day since early October, pairing it with a long sleeve shirt that you had gotten back in high school for Christmas. It was plain, brown, but hugged your body well. The sweatshirt debate lasted a few seconds before you remembered how hot it was going to be outside. A record temperature for mid-April, almost 80 degrees outside.

When you checked your phone getting back from the shower, it was just barely five thirty. You texted the groupchat again, asking if it would be cool to come over a half an hour earlier than you had originally said. You knew it was a dumb question, you would always be welcome in their room. You chuckled at Mel’s response of, “Are you fucking dumb? Of course you can come over. Bring wine if you have any left! No carry-in’s allowed at the concert.”

You put your phone down for a second and slipped on a pair of shoes that were comfortable enough for you to stand in for a long time. They used to be white, but had gotten progressively dirty from the years of use. You shoved your phone in your back pocket and slid a few different bottles of wine into your backpack, separated by extra clothing so the bottles didn’t clink together.

You walked down the stairs, out the door and over to the other dorm building across the walkway. You scanned your keycard to get into the building, walking through the hallways waving to the RA on duty, McKenna. She had been in a few of your classes and was always incredibly nice.

Her room this year was actually a few down from where you were living. McKenna was a great RA, knowing exactly how to handle the rowdiness of the floor while still keeping the resident’s respect. She didn’t bother them unless she needed to, and they didn’t bother her unless needed. She kept it underwraps about the underage drinking that would inevitably happen, mostly by telling the floor they could do what they want, as long as they were quiet by quiet hours (which was around ten thirty on the weekdays, and one in the morning on the weekends).

You took the elevator to the second floor of East Sunderland, getting off as soon as the doors opened. The booths that had previously been up had begun to dissipate, bringing the plastic tables back into the buildings they belonged in. You took a last glance at the people cleaning before heading into Mel and Tamia’s dorm building.

You knocked on the door, coming as soon as you announced yourself to Mel and Tamia. The girls laughed as you walked in, looking at a picture of Mel from when they were a kid. The two of them showed it to you as you settled your bag onto Mel’s chair in the corner of their room. “Your buck teeth! Oh my God, you were adorable, Mel.”

“Oh shut up, I bet you didn’t look any better.” Mel spoke to Tamia, making the three of you laugh. “Anyways, what wine did you bring?”

“The Barefoot we didn’t finish the other weekend, and then I still had some Rose, so I brought those over too. I wasn’t sure what we were feeling.” Tamia pulled some glasses from her shelves, passing them out to the two of you. You filled their glasses with the Rose you brought.

The three of you talked specifics on the plans for tonight, hitting up another fraternity party as soon as the concert ended. There were two separate ones going on at the same time, so the two of you weighed your options over which one to go to. “The Sigs are throwing one, but I’d rather die. Delta’s throwing one, too, we’ll go to theirs instead. And maybe see if anyone’s at the Sig party that we like and stop there before heading back to the dorms.”

You walked down with them to the Athletic Department, hoping to have gotten there early enough to get a good spot. As soon as the doors opened, you were filtered through the doors, making sure that you were students with the college. The three of you half ran to the barricade, settling yourselves against it on the right side, although still somewhat in the middle.

The show wouldn’t start for quite some time yet, the three of you talked amongst yourselves about upcoming finals, what you had to do for various classes. You also found a few people around you to chat to while you waited, hearing laughter roaring through various parts of the crowd.

A few students from the Admissions Office had taken the stage, playing a random playlist of music that matched what the band was going to be playing. Rock thundered through the speakers, filling audience members with anticipation. Rochel addressed the student body, “Hello everyone!” welcomed by the sounds of cheers and screaming.

“We’ve got about fifteen minutes before the band comes on stage, so help us warm them up to the stage!” Everyone clapped, although some of the girls around you looked unenthused as they stared down at their phones. You checked yours for any text messages from any family members. You had nothing, so you put it back in your pocket.

Around four songs played before Rochel turned the microphone on again. Everyone shouted before she talked. “Well, it’s that time! Please, give a warm welcome to Greta Van Fleet!”

Rochel and the two other students walked off the stage, passing by what you had assumed to be one of the band members. He sat behind the drums, smiling and waving off into the crowd. You cheered for him along with Tamia and Mel, cheering just as loud when their bassist walked onto the stage. Both of their hair was longer, goofy smiles on their faces as they got situated with their instruments.

Your mouth hung open as you watched the last two boys walk on stage, seeing the twins. Jake’s eyes scanned the crowd as he slung his guitar over his shoulder. He found you after a moment, sending a smirk your way. You closed your mouth, glaring at him. Mel laughed at you, noticing your demeanor shift. “How we doin’ tonight everyone?”

Everyone cheered. “A lot of you might know me and Jake, seen us on campus and stuff. It’s wonderful to see all of you here, coming to support us as we celebrate the onslaught of spring! It’s been a particularly warm one today, so make sure to drink water! There’s plenty to go around.”

Jake started them off, pick between his fingers as he strummed the beginning chords to one of their songs. Some of the girls had begun to scream, shouting at Jake’s response to Josh’s little speech before he began playing. His signature smirk formed, watching the girls go crazy, eyes scanning the crowd before he found you again.

As Jake continued to play, he looked over to you any time he could. It was hard to tear your eyes away from him, enthralled by the way he looked on stage. You tried your hardest, truly, to look at any of the other boys on the stage aside from Jake but you just couldn’t. He fit the stage just right, bringing the attention away from Josh and demanding to be seen by the entirety of the crowd. He belonged up there.

Jake went to the center of the stage during his solo. Josh lingered around the drummer, keeping to himself, drinking whatever was in his cup. They kept on playing as Jake took the spotlight, everyone cheering and screaming for him. You kept silent, wanting to hear him play. His fingers worked against the frets of the guitar, not before sliding down and up it quickly. 

You tried to hide the awe you were in, but your friends knew. They saw it written all over your face. The frustration and annoyance you felt when you first spotted Jake on stage dissipated the second his guitar solo began. You swallowed thickly, watching as his attention turned from his guitar to you, pointing it in your direction. Your cheeks flushed, and your thighs pressed together.

This was going to be a long night.

The second the concert was over, Josh thanked everyone for coming. His smile was wide as he waved goodbye to everyone, walking off next to Jake who had his guitar by the neck before he passed it off to one of the stage hands. Josh put his hands on his shoulders as they walked off stage.

You stuck around mostly waiting for the crowd to die down before trying to leave the building. Mel and Tamia talked about the show, saying that it was fucking dope, commenting on how excellent Jake’s playing was. You didn’t speak about Jake’s playing, mostly praising Josh for his spectacular performance. “I never expected that voice to come out of him, how heavenly.”

“Talking about me?” Jake cuts through your conversation, walking over to you with Josh not far behind. You roll your eyes. Tamia and Mel congratulate him on such an amazing performance, gushing about how sweet his guitar looks. “Why thank you, ladies.”

“Mel! I didn’t think you were going to be able to come.” He gushed, wiping his hands on the sides of his khaki shorts he had changed into.

“Yeah, well, Miss Quiet over here wanted to see her archnemesis, didn’t you?”

“I-I–” You turned your head slightly towards Jake, who had an amused smirk written all over his face. “I did not, Mellie, stop lying.”

“By the redness of your cheeks, sweetheart, I’d say she was telling the truth.” You had barely noticed that Mel, Tamia and Josh had slipped away from the two of you, leaving you alone.

“I didn’t even know you were playing.” You admitted shyly, hiding underneath a guise of innocence.

“Even if you did, you looked pretty hot and bothered by my playing.” You held the back of your arms, trying hard to maintain eye contact with him. You looked into his eyes, they were staring straight at you.

“Yeah, sure. I actually came because Josh said he was going. He neglected to mention that he was going to be singing,” you looked at Josh who wore a smile that read ‘guilty as charged’ before patting you on the shoulder.

“Hey, you didn’t ask. You just asked if I was going.” You rolled your eyes and chuckled slightly. “Anyways, Sam and Danny are gonna spend the night in my room, so I’ll have to find somewhere else to be tonight. Are you guys going to either of the frat parties tonight?”

“We’re going to the Delta party. The Sigs’ reputation is not the best, and I don’t feel like seeing whether or not it’s right.”

“That is completely understandable. I shall see you ladies there then. You coming, Jake? We still have a lot to put away.”

“Yeah, in a second,” he turned towards Josh who had begun to walk away, waving him off before turning back to the three of you. “I hope you guys enjoyed the show, maybe I’ll catch up with you at the party.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yeah, actually, I would.” He smiled at you before joining the other boys cleaning up their amps and cords.

“Jesus Christ, the two of you just need to fuck or something. I don’t think I can handle another interaction like that,” Mel joked, making a gagging face when she finishes her sentence. You pushed at her arm, turning around and walking out of the gym.

Tamia and Mel giggled profusely about your and Jake’s rivalry. The two even started making bets on when the two of you would finally ‘get it on’, as Tamia put it. You just rolled your eyes at the conversation, changing the subject to something different.

—

The party, though filled with lots of fun and drinking, was a bust. While Josh had shown up with his younger brother and his brother’s friend, as you learned, in tow, Jake was nowhere to be found. You thought to ask Josh why he wasn’t there, but he was too busy dancing with Micah. Through the grapevine, you learned that Micah and Josh had been together since high school.

You stayed around the party for almost two hours before you wanted to go back. A small part of you had wished Jake had actually come. You wondered if maybe the two of you would get along if you put your competitive nature aside. You tried not to dwell on thoughts of Jake’s absence for too long, wanting to enjoy the rest of the night with your girls. But when you had enough of the party, you shouted in Mel’s ear to let her know you wanted to leave.

Mel and Tamia had made sure you got back alright about two hours into the party. Your legs were tired and your feet had begun to hurt. The two of them stumbled with you back to the door of your building, making sure you were inside before leaving to go back. They almost came in with you, until you insisted otherwise.

Laying on your bed with your head pointed towards the ceiling you started thinking about Jake again. What was his reason for not being at the party? Did he just make those comments beforehand just to rile you up? It seemed like the only valid reason your impaired mind could come up with.

You grabbed your phone, almost dropping it on the floor. You sluggishly opened Instagram, and searched for Jake’s profile. You scrolled through, looking at the few photos he did have on his page. Most of the pictures he had were of his guitar, or places he’s traveled. You were sent into a panic when you realized you had accidentally liked an older picture of Jake’s, one from freshman year of college. Hurriedly, you unliked it and immediately locked your phone.

That had been a few days ago.

Now it was Wednesday and your first final exam was here. It was for the class you shared with Jake, BIO 312.  It wasn’t exactly final exam time, but Professor Heinz was going to be away at a conference for a week starting Friday. You didn’t mind, though, since it spaced out your other finals enough to have a decent amount of time to study for them.

You sat at your desk, looking over your notecards one last time before the exam began. A frequent look around the room and you noticed Jake walking in, going to a random seat a couple rows in front of you. He set his bag down next to him, before bending down to grab his laptop. He noticed you watching him and sent a wink your way.

You looked away as you tried to hide the rush of rosy skin that fanned over your cheeks and heated up your ears. You tried to ignore him again until at least when the test started, embarrassed that you got caught looking at him. Your phone pinged and you pulled it out of your bag to look at it, as well as turn it on silent.

jacobtkiszka wants to send you a message.

You swallowed and hit the notification taking you straight to the message.

“Person who turns their test in last pays for coffee?”

Your lips curved into a small smile, feeling your fingers type the first thing that comes to your head.

“Hope you brought your wallet with you, Kiszka.”

You put your phone on Do Not Disturb and shoved it back into your bag. The professor walked through the door, setting her things down on the desk in the front of the room. Her coffee mug still had steam coming from it, freshly poured. A quick look of her watch after getting settled and it was time to start the exam. “Okay, everyone. It’s time for class. Take out your laptops and begin your exam. You may leave when you have finished. Thank you for a great semester, and good luck.”

The questions on the exam were all ones that you knew and had studied for for weeks. It was strenuous, trying to remember everything on the cumulative exam. You had hoped it would go quickly and you would answer them faster than Jake could. Occasionally, you turned to look at Jake, seeing if maybe he was trying to look at you too.

With one question left of your exam, you click the answer and press submit after a minute of debate. You had a bad habit of second guessing yourself occasionally; it was actually the bane of your testing experiences. You hated when you felt confident about an answer, until you really sat with the other possible answers it could be.

You put your laptop back into your bag, zipped it up and noticed that Jake had already left. You cursed to yourself, knowing that now you had to buy Jake a coffee. You waved goodbye to your professor with a smile and walked out the doors. Jake sat outside of the classroom at one of the tables they had throughout the building. “Whatcha reading?”

“Josh recommended it to me, but I’m going to be honest, I fucking hate this book.” He laughed, shoving it into his bag. “You know any good coffee shops around here? I’m kind of tired of Starbucks.”

“I just so happen to know the best coffee shop in town, but it is a bit of a walk, if you don’t mind that?” You asked, walking through the door that Jake was holding before muttering a thank you to him. 

“I could also drive, if you’re okay with that.”

“I’m more than okay with that,” you chuckle, letting him know that your dorm building had enough stairs; any chance you could get to use an elevator, or get driven somewhere, you would take that opportunity in a heartbeat.

The drive was short in comparison to the twenty minute walk it would have taken to get to the shop. Jake tried to offer the radio to you, but you let him play what he wanted to listen to. You didn’t know exactly who was playing, but the blues music that played through the speakers was a breath of fresh air.

Your typical shuffle had a plethora of music from differing genres, whether that be rap or old country. You hadn’t known much when it came to blues music, especially the difference between good blues music and bad. Eventually, you got the courage to ask who was playing and Jake answered, letting you know that the song was by Buddy Guy. “It’s called She Suits Me To A T. I tried for weeks to learn this song when I first started playing music more seriously.”

“This is the coffee shop, at the next corner.” You watched his hand as he made a right turn, noticing him steering with just the palm of his hand. Letting the leather steering wheel glide back to its original position in his hand, elbow propped on the door with the window rolled down.

It’s all you thought about on your way into the coffee shop, completely relying on autopilot. Your responses to Jake were almost textbook, one word sentences that could continue the conversation without much effort. “What’re you thinking of getting?”

“Oh, um, I’m not sure. I usually have them surprise me,” you admit, shoving your hands into your jacket. “Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not. That’s the gamble you take.”

“I like that a lot, actually. I think I’ll have them surprise me too, if you don’t mind.”

“No, not at all.” You smiled at Jake before he went to order for the two of you. You found a place to sit in the meantime, offering a spot towards the windows so you could watch people come and go, each on their own paths of life.

By the time Jake sat down, both of the coffees were in his hand. After a few questions, Jake set the iced drink down in front of you, and the hot drink in front of himself. “Yours is an iced chai, with brown sugar syrup and vanilla. Mine is some sort of tea, I wasn’t really paying attention to what she was saying. I just wanted to remember what she put in yours in case you liked it.”

“Oh,” you spoke, bringing the cup towards you. “Thank you, that’s really sweet. Do you like your drink?”

“You know, it’s really not bad. I wouldn’t have gotten it otherwise, but it’s really not bad.”

“You hate it.”

“I hate it. It’s not good.” The two of you chuckled before you offered him a sip of your drink. “Mhmm,” he moaned. “That’s good, oh my God.”

The two of you continued small talk, whether it was over the classes you had previously taken, memories of parties from past years – anything. You shared previous high school experiences, mostly about the ridiculous things that were considered parties in your teenage years.

Conversation with Jake was surprisingly a lot easier than you thought it would be. Especially since you’ve hated him pretty much your entire college career. You figured he’d be stuck up, aware of his academic achievements and ready to flaunt them in front of anyone who’d listen.

He was the opposite. His sentences were wrapped with kindness, and the reflection in his voice seemed nothing but positive. His voice was like silk, he could’ve talked you into damn near anything as long as his voice sounded like that. It hurt when the conversation slowed, spending a few moments to take in the scene around you two, as well as finally being able to drink more of your drink (which was very delicious, it was almost like crack).

“How long have you been playing guitar?” You asked after the silence became almost uncomfortable to sit with.

“Oh jeez. I’ve been playing since I was… like three? Yeah, three.” You stared at him with eyes slightly wide, mouth agape. “What?”

“N-Nothing, that’s just a really long time. You’re what, 21 now?” He clarified that he was only twenty, his birthday roughly a week away. You poked fun at him, mentioning how you were older, even if it was by less than a year.

“Josh is throwing us a birthday party, if you want to come. Since it’ll be our 21st, we’re having it at our parents cabin on Lake Michigan. You’re welcome to bring Mel and Tamia if you’d like. Sam and Danny are going to be there, even though they’re underage, but we’re gonna pretend like they’re older.” Jake spoke with one last sip of his drink, letting the empty cup echo on the table as he set it down.

“I will let Mel and Mia know. I can’t make any sure decisions without talking to them first, but I’m pretty damn sure that they’ll say they would love to go.”

“Yeah, I don’t think they’ll say no either. They seem pretty adamant that you have a little crush on me or something,” he said, putting your cups inside of a bus tub to be picked up and washed.

“I don’t have a crush on you,” you laughed, walking out of the coffee shop with Jake. “I actually hate you, remember?”

“You may say that you hate me, but you’re not really good at showing it.”