#hate to make this post but im not letting my blog become one of those spaces filled with arguing.

[xxcherrycherixx]

Just a reminder that my blog is my blog, no one is forced to see my stuff (the block button exists)

if you wish to come here just to complain about me sexualising fictional characters legit only made to sell dolls, i will not respond to you but instead just block you.

[olderthannetfic]

Obvious Disclaimer that this is not about any specific anon in particular, not about OTNF themself, but that my following rant might *slightly* punch down on people who ARE, well, older than net fics are.

But my honest opinion is that I really don’t like it when us old heads tend to sorta…talk down to? “Adultsplain”, if that’s even a thing? To The Gen Zs, by being like “damn kids! back in my day we never used our real name or posted selfies or posted about our personal life at all!” Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of those people who never posted the real me — but not because I was anonymous and cared about online safety, because I was a liar 😂 That being said, there ARE older people who definitely over-shared or “doxxed” themselves and still do, and there’s younger people who don’t!

I also feel like being “ha, these stupid KIDS who post about their FANDOM LIFE on TIK TOCK under their REAL NAME AND FACE where IRLS CAN SEE THEM, how STUPID” is not doing anyone any favors. Is that, technically, a smart thing for kids to do? No. Has it become normalized? Yes. And does that suck for people who might be bullied or outed or whatever cuz they genuinely are dumb and don’t know better and then someone they don’t like sees their stuff? Yes.

We all talk about how there’s no more kids spaces on the internet and how that’s a shame, but then five seconds later we’ll reblog that one “At any time I’m at risk of seeing a 14 year olds opinion and that’s why I hate it here” post. There’s really so few kid spaces on the net now, that’s true. We should extend empathy and let the teens be obnoxious and pretentious in peace, rather than making it a point to “ratio” or “roast them.” Idk personally I’d be completely unbothered if some 14 year old insulted my fic or my ship or whatever. I’d just block and move on, no need to try to argue with them.

And also, not all kids are even pretentious or obnoxious! I’m not saying we all need to take the kids under our wings, but we should be careful about not hating them just for being in their teens years, you know?

Also… telling a teenager to not post PII or not get into discourse or not have social media or whatever will NOT work the way you want it to 😭 kids are by default a little bit oppositionally defiant so telling some rando teen to Get Off Your Lawn (blog) rather than just blocking them, will encourage said teen to Stay On Your Lawn.

I just hate how it’s become normal for adults to talk down to teens online. I was harassed by adults online as a kid, then years and years and years later i went through my own “Older Than You™️”phase where I myself was a shit to teenagers, and I truly regret that so much. To this day I still need to make an effort to be careful. I saw on Twitter where an adult posted a DM from a 13 year old, mocking them. The DM said “I’m 14 next year, can I follow you? Please don’t groom me.” And the adult OP was laughing at how stupid the dm was. A few years ago, I would’ve been one of the people retweeting that and rolling my eyes at the child. Now im disgusted by the people who WERE laughing at them.

And again I’m obviously not saying we should be “nice” to the teenagers who mock us for our ships or who virtue signal too hard. But we also don’t need to make fun of their CARRDS or call them Puri-teens or rag on them just for being 17 or younger, yk?

--

Teens aren't 'puriteens' just for being young, dude. They have to also be puritanical bullies.

I find the stuff about real names hilarious because, actually, if you're really Internet Old™, then you probably did use your real name... it was right there in your university e-mail address! Or your random early ISP address if your stepdad got it for you and thought the university format was the default. Thanks, stepdad.

I've done every single dumb thing from going to meet my internet pen pal at an Alice Cooper concert to flying to Ireland from Japan to stay with a fandom friend I'd never met without telling anyone where I was going and without a credit card or enough cash to flee if I had to. I remember sitting on the plane thinking "Man, this is such a CSI episode topic".

The really funny part was that despite what she'd said before I visited, we ran into each of her parents at different times and ended up going to a play courtesy of her uncle, and all of them were like "So how do you know each other?" and "But you'd met before, right? RIGHT?!"

The level of panopticon is horrifying now. Teens have my sympathy. That part really is worse, and I think it's driving an entire generation nuts and we're going to see even more shit about people wanting to run away and live in a cabin in the woods with no internet. But in general, I don't think we're so different.

[y-vna]

Just so it's clear, one of my big dni crits is this:

TW: My rant includes HEAVY topics of ed (eating disorders) and intentionally starving yourself/unhealthy weight loss 🙁.

This post is also ULTRA long, will definitely contain grammar and spelling mistakes, and I'm not going to say 100% everything here is accurate information, as I'm a human and I make mistakes too.

Let me get this clear, I dont mean anyone harm with this post. My intention isn't to hate or attack/hurt anyone to make them feel upset. I know that having an ed is a serious matter. I have friends and family who actively have/had these kinds of eds, so im not uneducated on this subject and I do understand it to a very in-depth degree. This is not to say I know everything about this topic, however.

It is definitely not easy to recover from, and lots of people struggle from it every day. I am NOT saying people with this disorder are any less human than anyone else. I'm saying it's toxic for those who do have it since it actually harms your body a lot, and pushing it on others (not the fact you have it in the first place) is something I don't support.

So respectfully, if you do support/promote eds as a positive thing, or are/follow/interact with blogs who do, BLOCK ME AND DNI. thank you.

I love everyone for who they are inside, regardless of what their body looks like. And I'm telling you right now, as someone who tried so hard to have a perfect body and stop eating bc im super insecure, it's not worth it, and it makes you feel so shitty. I love you, whoever is reading this, no matter what. So please don't change who you are just to make others happy :( <3

--

So I was looking thru tumblr, and this one post kept getting shown to me where people were talking about basically the idea of: "its worth it to keep losing that undesired weight, you'll see results soon" as like a motivational thing. The tags (straight up tells you it's supposed to be inspo to becoming skinny and supports the idea having an ed is the only way to get a dream bod), and their whole blog had ed encouragement/motivation. To keep...starving, i guess.?? Despite their user being about being strong and healthy, nothing about this is healthy or keeps your body strong.

I didn't decide to write a whole rant about just that part of the post because I didn't start getting super concerned until i read the notes/comments (since i had seen a lot of these 'tw : ed' blogs before already). What I saw was that tons of users were promoting starving yourself as a goal and a good thing, and basically glorifying having an ed. And also using kpop idols with skinny and perfect figures like wonyoung to tell others that (almost a literal direct quote from this user-) 'us ed people don't want to be helped and we won't stop starving ourselves until we reach the weight we want.'

"You see it as negativity cause you're not disordered." KEEP IN MIND THE PERSON THEY'RE TALKING TO USED TO ACTUALLY HAVE AN ED (the screenshot below is the person they were talking to). I understand you can't push people to get help if they don't want it, but you have to draw a line when you start saying that every person with ed doesn't want help, which just isnt true. I looked at their blog, and it was all just calculating how many calories they ate and burned every day. Most of the posts they basically only totaled 300 calories a day. THAT IS SUPER SICK ☹️. An average human needs like 2000+ calories a day. It actively influences people to copy them by posting and blogging this SUPER unhealthy weight loss. It IS NOT positive on any level. It does nothing good for you. You won't feel any happier when you look in the mirror if all you can feel is pure hunger because you won't give your body what it needs. This is so sad to me because all the comments had people trying to ask how to start starving themselves, and every blog I clicked on all had ed triggers on their posts and bios. Some of those blogs were saying NOT to become like them because they can't see themselves recovering now that they're in too deep.

As said by people online who actually had and got through having an ed, they have explained it is very unhealthy and they were glad to recover. So even though I do not have an ed, and you might think I shouldn't be "judging" people who have them, there are plenty of formerly ed diagnosed people who know the bad effect it has on others/had on them because they can accurately relate. You can still educate people on a subject even if you yourself do not have to suffer from it/have it, as long as you're doing it properly with proven facts (literally all credible research you do anywhere backed by science and experts will prove eds aren't healthy). People educate themselves to teach others about other illnesses, ongoing or past wars in history, etc, they don't have firsthand experience with/from. And they can still be just as valid sometimes.

My whole point here is that on tumblr and so many other social media platforms, I keep seeing people (posts like this and whole blogs centered around this stuff,) encouraging (mainly young) girls to stop eating altogether to have a body that society and other people are more satisfied with. That's why, for a while, I also tried to do the same because of the people saying it was a positive thing to gain a bad relationship with food and start counting your calories to be perfect. I'm also someone who struggles with body image and being shamed for gaining weight. But at some point hou need to realize hurting your body and mental state is SO WRONG. NOBODY is perfect. So don't push you or anyone else to be. I learned this, and I get its super hard to ignore the judgment forced onto you by society and your surroundings, but there will be people who appreciate you just how you are now. Like me.

So with all that said, the moral here is:

Don't starve urself (on purpose. Bc some people genuinely have trouble eating and starve themselves non intentionally. I have friends who do this 😭)

You're perfect how u are now without being as slim as your idols (and even K-pop idols don't tell others usually to be like them because they know that their companies forcing them to strictly control their weight isn't something they want fans to look up to).

Don't force (potential) ed on others

Don't encourage unhealthy relationship with your body and food

I do support people with eds, as long as they aren't trying to make it something others should look up to, and aspire to have.

If you are someone who wants to normalize having an ed as healthy or positive, please do not interact with this blog and feel free to block me :(

Thank you for reading, have a good day and ily for whoever is reading this. 💗💖💓💕

[hikari-drkspc]

❅ “In The Name Of Love” ❅

character: yandere! shishio tsukasa [dr. stone]

warning: yandere, implication of m0rder, c0nfin3m3nt, poss3ssiv3 tendencies ; MINOR/AGELESS BLOGS DNI, PUT YOUR AGE IN BIO/PINNED POST TO INTERACT

words: 1.2k

a/n: this is a repost from my main blog (@/hikari-writes) so yes this writing is old + bad, i just moved them here w/o editing bc im lazy and wants to keep reminding myself how bad my writing used to be <3 also this was a request from my main blog!!

“Tsukasa, remember what I told you before?”

You ask in a monotone voice, looking up at your boyfriend who was hugging you from behind.

“I remember every word you say, love, but you have to specify for me to know which one you’re referring to.”

He holds you closer to him and you could feel his warmth seeping in through you. If this were you from 3000 years ago, you would’ve enjoyed his warmth and think of how lucky you were to have someone like him as your lover.

But now, it all just seems so…suffocating.

Ever since he’s been revived back by Senku and joining the Kingdom of Science, he has become more protective and possessive of you.

No, that’s not it.

He’s already shown that kind of behaviour long ago. Maybe you didn’t realize it 3000 years ago because you two just started going out but even before when Tsukasa still was in charge of his own empire, you could’ve at least noticed the red flags he was giving.

He constantly asked you to stay with him and won’t let go of you almost until the end of the day. Even when you were about to try to do something else, he would grab you and force you to sit on his laps.

His grip on you was gentle, but it was enough to make you stay and not move around too much.

You haven’t told this to anyone yet, not even Mirai, but you were actually…dreading the time when Senku will petrify him and revive him back.

All those times when Tsukasa was still in his cryogenic state, everyone kept encouraging you to stay strong and reassuring you that Senku will revive him back soon.

And you would always just reply to them with a wry smile and a “I’m fine,” so as to not worry them.

You originally had thought you were going to feel depressed about this whole ordeal too. But you never did.

In fact, you felt so…free. Almost as if a big burden had just been lifted from your shoulders. You were happy with that.

You actually even wished Senku never found the Petrification Weapon. You truly enjoyed the freedom that you felt. You wished it would stay.

But in the end, nothing ever stays.  

Tsukasa was revived and you are back in his grip once again.

You hated every moment of it.

“About being too protective of me! I was just going to help Gen with some of his work. I know you’re protective of me because you’re worried, but can you please just let me do something to help others?”

You finally break free from his hug and turn to him. Your eyebrows are crossed, showing how displeased you are with the whole situation.

“But if I let go of you, you’ll definitely run away from me.”

Your eyes widened at what he said. You didn’t expect him to feel that way. All this time, you had thought that the reason Tsukasa was so overprotective of you might’ve been because he was worried…or maybe even because he wanted to have control of you.

You went quiet for a moment. In a sense, he’s not wrong. But to actually know he felt that way…it’s actually making you feel guilty.

“Tsukasa….I won’t run away from you, so don’t worry, alright?”

You wrap your arms around his large frame, successfully convincing him that you won’t do something like that. He returns the hug and pulls you closer.

“…Y/N, if you truly mean what you said, will you forgive me for what I’m about to do?”

You pull away and look up at him, confused.

“Sure?”

Not even a second after that, you felt your consciousness slowly slipping away from you. You could hear the loud throbbing from your neck after Tsukasa just striked it.

“W-wh…”

You mustered up what little strength you have left to let out a “What?” but even that has proven to be difficult. All you managed to hear was Tsukasa’s last words before you completely lost your consciousness.

“Do forgive me for doing this, love. You’re too pure to be tainted by this dirty world.”

~~**~~

You slowly open your eyes to see the darkness greeting you. You tried to get up but your whole body felt so weak and your limbs refused to work for you. You cursed under your breath and tried to adjust your eyes to the darkness. The place sure seemed familiar.

Then it hit you.

It’s the prison.

You tried to scream out loud but your voice only echoed throughout the prison without anyone responding. You could feel your heart beating rapidly like never before as soon as you heard a series of footsteps nearing you.

It’s not as if you recognized the footsteps or anything, but the way the pace is so calm and unrushed even after your scream of help convinced you that the owner of the footsteps knew you’re trapped in there. And they’re not willing to let you out anytime soon.

And who else would want to do such things other than your former beloved,

“Tsukasa…”

You hissed out his name while glaring at his broad figure towering over you over the cell wooden bars.

“I’m sorry you had to go in here, my love. Trust me, I don’t want you to be placed here either, but I have no choice.”

He tried to cup your cheeks in his hands but you quickly moved your face away from him.

“Tsukasa, whatever this madness is, STOP it. Do you think the others won’t know what you’re doing? Soon enough, you will—”

“They won’t. After all, you are considered dead in their hearts.”

He cut you off with those words and your eyes widened in horror at him. Your lips tremble and you try to hide your unease by glaring at him.

Before you could ask him what he meant, he spoke up as if he had just read your mind.

“I told them that you died. An animal attack, precisely. It’s completed with evidence and all. I did also get some helping hand from some people though. Couldn’t have done it without them.”

He stops for a moment to look at you who were frozen in your place and finally cups both your cheeks to bring it closer to him.

“This cell was built especially for you, back when I still ruled over my own empire. It’s located very deep into this cave, and no one would dare to come here.”

“You mean to say you’ve been planning to put me in confinement for a long time now?! What— I-”

Tsukasa looks at you, his eyes turning soft and he looks so melancholic. You almost snapped at him when you saw that expression. If anyone here is supposed to cry, it’s YOU, not him.

“I didn’t think it was necessary…until recently. When other people started looking at you as if you’re some kind of walking meat that they’re about to devour.  It disgusts me so much, and I couldn’t handle it anymore…so I made the decision to keep you safe here….and wipe those people out.”

Your blood runs cold at that statement.

Wipe those people out?

He couldn’t have meant that literally….right?

“W-why–”

You didn’t even realize your tears were running down your cheeks until you felt Tsukasa gently wiped them away. He gives you his soft smile that you used to know so very well, yet it felt so foreign now.

“Because I love you, Y/N. I always have and will continue to forever be in love with you.”

[snaxle]

you didn't even say it back. kys, i mean. i sent you such a thoughtful letter and all you do is malign me as a fanfic writer, who, even worse, can't even finish her wips. horrible. it wasn't a terrible guess given the demographics of your blog (or so i would conjecture based on halfhearted extrapolation based on crumbs of information absorbed counter to my will through social osmosis here) and the fandom inclinations of tumblrinas at large, though this is a cross i do not personally bear.

the charge levied against me by one commenter, namely that "[you] live rent free in [my] head" is false. a sizable proportion of your followers/mutuals/orbiters presumably are constituted of writers who don't finish their works (many such cases) as well the readers who are subjected to those half finished fictions and therefore cannot concieve of someone who looked at a couple posts, wrinkled their nose in distaste, and cranked out a "drabble" or whatever, closed the tab, and went about their day is out of the realm of imagination of the archetypal tumblrite, weighed down by a dozen half actualised ideas, splotchy faced and writhing around and waving their teensy fat fingered hands, shrieking and grabbing out to be given care and attention and to be nurtured so that they may mature into a finished work.

you may ask me what i am doing here if when i showcase such scorn for the character of the average tumblr user and the answer simply is 1) i don't care i just sound like this as a fixed state of being & 2) im like jane goodall if she was kind of a dick to the chimpanzees sometimes and if she was kind of stupid and insane and wrote screeds to one piece fans online.

becoming a one piece fan is an outstanding suicide prevention measure because it's just one final thing on the list to do forever. so im not really anticipating for any harm to personally visit you, nor do i have any personal stake in your demise or success but instead want for the environment of the internet to be slowly poisoned; first in small, enclosed environments like lonesome, neglected, and dying fish in places as toxic as a never cleaned fishbowl and then maybe, in some rosy dreams of mine, the sea dries up entirely and every whale is beached and terrifying krakens of the sea are brought to light crying and gasping and drying out in the sun and lethal pathogens unleashed when the artic permafrost melts and then evaporates and the sun beats down on all the sea creatures of the world, and bakes them, and the hole where the mariana trench once was reeks of rot for years on end. i wish people could be awful to each other, so so so badly. and you're a perfectly serviceable target, but so am i. i hate you, won't you hate me? why can't all the sisters and the brothers of the earth unlink arms in conjoint discord? if only.

and yet you don't see this vision at all, or don't value it. all this is heaped on you but you toss it aside without regard for the feelings and yearnings of the only anon you've ever received of substance. i wrap my undersized cold black ink secreting heart in some papers for you, crumble it into a ball and hand it to you, and you tag it as suicide bait without even doing suicide baiting of your own. tell me youve had an anon that has devoted 20 minutes to writing you before. repulsive. if it be your will for this to make it to publishing i would like to let the reader know that i would not recommend visiting to future hate anons.

[space-station-nursery]

🛰️⸝⸝Welcome to the Space Station Nursery 🪐

☆ ・Personal info ! ˖ ˒

🦊Little Dipper︰Hi! im Finn, also Finnegan, finny fox, fishy finn, and more to my closest friends and moots! Im 21 and my pronouns are They/Them! My timezone is CST. I like Bubby, jay, baking and cooking, playing games, reading (by myself and with bubby) making decor stuff and making custom things! Blues clues !!! if you see a blues clues ask from an anon, its probably me.

Dislikes︰I HATE Bugs, bugsbugsbugs. Being confronted(confrontation), purposely being misgendered, having my boundaries disrespected, bubby or jay being purposely misgendered, bugs and uh-…. i think thats it lol

🦌 Big Dipper︰Hi im FD, im 21 (22 in august) and my pronouns are He/Him. My timezone is MST. I LOVE BABI BEAR, our friends, gaming, cars, anything that has moving parts, reading and watching crime stuff, watching movies and playing games with babi and our friends, and really love the flash as well!

Dislikes︰I dont like icky people coming to talk to babi and i (i dont really like talking to people in general), People misgendering babi or my friends or being rude towards them, and i dont like when people disrespect my boundaries I also dont like the idea of sitters because so many people in the community that we have encountered have bad intentions, but there's nothing else i can think of rn

☆ ・Space station boundaries ! ˖ ˒

Combined︰We are engaged and not seeking romantic or platonic littles/cgs! Dms open for anyone +16 or -26. If interested, interact with our posts, as random messages can be uncomfortable. If you would like to be moots/friends, please at least interact with our posts first

🦊Little Dipper︰Please use tonetags when directing asks towards me. Please Ask before DM-ing me on my personal blog @babis-little-corner and i will let you know! If you notice I interact with something not SFW, please let me know! Do not use any nicknames in asks/dms unless we are close/moots. My CG doesn't appreciate people we are not close with trying to call me things like "little one" "cutie" etc, and quite Franky neither do I...

🦌 Big Dipper︰Please Do not ask me to be your cg, I’m Happily caring for Finn and only Finn, I don’t have all that many boundaries just don’t do anything that’s gonna upset Finn and you’re alright with me!

☆ ・Dark Matter DNI ! ˖ ˒

Whats a DNI? These are "Do not interact" boundaries, this means that if your blog meets any of these criteria you may be blocked\banned\removed from a persons socials. Below are my DNI's so make sure to read them!

・Are anti-agere/agedre(or petre/petdre), an NSFW blog/"SFW" kink blogs like Dd!g/abd!/md!b and other variants. Are an 18+ only blog, Terf, etc. Anything that you would not show a child does not belong here ・Bigoted individuals or peoples that believe in Anti-LGBTQIA+, Pro-ana, Pro-SH, Anti-recovery, MIKs or MAPs, Extreme left/right views, Pro-life, Pro-war, transmed, Pro-mia, Anti-Neos/Xenos. ・Over the age of 27. While you could be a regression blog, and completely SFW, individuals over the age of 27 can become a trigger due to my PTSD. Minors are always welcome, although we will most likely not follow back ・Are a blank blog. This means no banner, profile pictures, posts or names. Blogs like those tend to become a problem and we don't wish to deal with it.

We will block liberally

☆ ・Rover Regression info ! ˖ ˒

🦊 Little Dipper︰I am a flip-leaning regressor, regressing from 0-4. I am a sleepy but bubbly regressor, mostly using items like pacifiers. Despite my trauma, I can regress for small periods of time while assisted, but its a great start and hopefully when FD and I live together it'll boost my regression more!

🦌 Big Dipper︰I am Finns CG, and I love my babi bear! I do everything I can to make sure they feel safe and comfy here when regressing, as well as when they aren't

Sitter views︰We do not see sitters as something either of us would want to be apart of unless it was us sitting for/being sat by someone we know very well. My current sitter is @sleeplessjunkie Who generally just regresses with me when bubby is gone while we play games !!!! We will either talk a lot or not at all, and thats ok bc talk is hard! (we're both autistic)

☆ ・Solar System Sillies ! ˖ ˒

Posting schedule ish︰(Finn has a problem with keeping ideas up, so im going to try and reduce the amount of things being posted by me!)

✩⸜⸜ Affirmation Monday ✩⸜⸜ Text post Tuesday ✩⸜⸜ Worksheet Wednesday ✩⸜⸜ Reblog Thursday ✩⸜⸜ Funday Friday ✩⸜⸜ Refresh Saturday ✩⸜⸜ Shoutout Sunday

Our anon list!︰✨, (☀🐝), 🩷

Send us an ask to claim an emoji and show up here! <3

Linkies!︰

Pronouns Page ⸜⸜ Finns pronouns Instagram ⸜⸜ Alphabet Paci's Shop Agere twitch ⸜⸜ Alphabet Soup The Hundred Acre Woods (discord)⸜⸜ Discord.gg/hundredacrewoods Littlewavez (discord)⸜⸜ Discord.gg/Littlewavez

🛰️ ⸜ ⸜ Thank you for reading! - The space station team ! (tags below)

[ask-commander-arild]

what was it like for you when you were first taken from your home and forced to work for the pigmasks? did they threaten you to join? im sorry, either way it must have been a hard time for you.

It... was very hard. It still is. I don't like to talk about it very much, but... I feel like if I don't get it out at some point, I might just explode. So, well... where do I even start..?

When I was 11 years old, just weeks before my 12th birthday, I... hmmm... I got up one morning, got dressed, got my backpack, got breakfast, and watched some tv. It was the same as every morning. The only difference... before I left, I... got into an argument, with my mamma. It's been so long now, I don't even remember why, but I can imagine I probably did something stupid. We both said some pretty... not great things to each other, and then I slammed the door and left in a huff. I didn't care what the consequences would be once I got home, that was a problem for future me, I was just going to go to school and worry about it later. But, then...

I was on my way to the bus stop... and I... it happened so fast, I didn't even have any time to react. There were three of them, they grabbed me and... it was a blur after that. Next thing I remember, I was in a place surrounded by men in lab coats and strange uniforms, and they explained who they were (which, you already know, evidently), and I... may have punched a few people out of fear. Unfortunately, one boy vs a group of trained soldiers doesn't exactly end well... After that, I... don't know... I remember being approached by a caped soldier in a white uniform. He said something like "Y'know kid, we could really use someone with that kinda attitude. A little discipline and I think you'll make a fine addition around here." or.. something along those lines...

The thought of that terrified me. I didn't want to join them, I didn't even want to be there. I just wanted to go home to my family. I tried refusing, but... they gave me two choices. Either join their ranks and become a soldier, or be brainwashed and made to forget everything. I feel stupid for it now, but... well, obviously, you know what I chose. Thus, I've spent the past few years right here, in the army, and as much as I wish I could say I've hated it, I really don't know if I'd have it any other way. Overall, the army has done some terrible things, and I have always hated that, but on the other hand, getting to know my brothers in arms and making such a deep connection with them has been one of the best experiences in my life. Even still....

From the moment I was taken, I have missed my family desperately. Letting my lillesøster play with my toys, even if I found her annoying. Playing games with my storebror, even if he found me annoying. Going fishing and camping with my pappa, even if I was a little afraid of him, haha. And my mamma... jeg savner henne så mye... As much as I've enjoyed the past few years, there's nothing I want more than to be in her arms again. But, even if I can go back now, would she... even want to see me? After the things I said to her? Does she even care that I'm gone now? What if she's happier now that she never has to see me again? I don't think I could ever go back and face her again. Especially now, being a chimera. What would she say if she saw me? She'd probably see me as some kind of monster. I can't go back...

Thanks for the question, friend...

(ooc: Ooooo, boy, this one was tough to write, in more ways than one. I teared up more than a couple times writing, tbh. I did have a lot of fun writing it, though. Even still, I'm not the most proud of it. I def think I could do better, but oh well. Also, this post has a lot of Norwegian, and thus a lot of google translate. I have no idea if it's grammatically correct, but I just hope it gets the point across. If anyone who's Norwegian somehow finds this blog, HELPPPP. Anywho, sorry for the long read, y'all. Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for the ask, Hal Pinkalliums!!)

[cornchrunchie]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

I'm very excited you tagged me in this, @all-my-worlds-a-stage and @fallingforfandoms! I really enjoy reading the answers from all of you.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

109, which makes around 12 stories per year. Fun fact!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

360,182, which is about the total word count of C.S. Lewis’ seven-book Chronicles of Narnia series. Fun fact #2!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Mostly Tatort Münster. Like 99.9 % mostly. I think I have only one story posted on AO3 for a different fandom (Knives Out), though I don’t post everything I write. As you might have guessed from my recent content on this blog, I’ve also started a fic for Good Omens. We will see if I will finish it, let alone post it.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Unsurprisingly, the fic for Knives Out has the most Kudos. Less niche than the other ones :)

Tonight Will be a Memory Too – Knives Out, Benoit Blanc/Phillip It's part of Evelyn's job at the musical theater to talk to guests. Once in a while, she gets to meet truly fascinating people. A glimpse into Benoit's and Phillip's life through the eyes of an outsider.

Ein Leben lang daheim – Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne Auf der Fortbildung, die sie besuchen, gibt es einen Coronafall und Thiel und Boerne müssen präventiv zwei Wochen lang in Quarantäne.

Schnee von gestern – Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne, co-written with Tjej Es wird Rum gemacht und es wird rumgemacht.

Tauchen ist wie Fliegen unter Wasser – Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne Im Münsteraner Schwimmbad kommt vor hunderten von Zuschauern eine junge Frau ums Leben. Doch die Ermittlungen gestalten sich für Thiel nicht nur aufgrund der widersprüchlichen Hinweise als schwierig …

Zuhause – Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne, co-written with Tjej Thiel ließ ihn gar nicht erst ausreden. Auch wenn das für ihn vielleicht ungewöhnlich war, aber er hatte sich eigentlich schon Pläne für die Feiertage gemacht. „Danke für das Angebot, aber ich wollte mal wieder nach Hause fahren.“

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I do! I try to answer every single one, even if it might take me a while to do so. Comments mean a lot to me and I appreciate when someone takes the time to write one. I'm especially fond of those short comment conversations, and the interaction with like-minded people. I made some friends that way.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't write a lot of angst and if I do, there will probably be at least a comforting ending. One of my rare fics, if not the only one, with angst throughout is Alles (Tatort Münster, Thiel & Boerne with hints of possible slash). Even after several years, I still like this one a lot.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Well, what exactly does happiest mean, right? The great majority of my fics end with two people getting together, a storyline that tends to be quite happy in itself. One fic I consider to have a very happy ending where there is no direct romance to the plot is Ein Tännlein aus dem Walde (Tatort Münster). It's with almost everybody on the team, so a lot of Found Family feelings. I guess the Christmas theme, the high spirits of everybody and this feeling of... content make this a very happy fic to me.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I can't remember any hate, so I guess this is a No.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Depends on the fic but sometimes I do. I've written explicit and less explicit stuff alike. It's been a while since I last wrote something explicit, though.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No, I've never written a crossover. I rarely read them, too.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If so, I haven't noticed.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

None that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

As it becomes clear through my top fics: Yes, several and in different ways! I've co-written some fics where we took turns in writing, some where one person wrote the beginning and the other person completed the story, some where we brainstormed together and one person wrote most of it by themselves. I really enjoy writing with another person! The discussions, different ideas and chances to read parts I haven't written keep me excited about the story. It's like a series of prompts!

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I would have to lie to say that it wasn't Thiel/Boerne from Tatort Münster. They were the first ship I can remember shipping (apart from Ernie and Bert, maybe) and even though I don't agree with everything done in the canon, I hold them close to my heart.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I once started writing a Groundhog-Day-inspired fic for Tatort Münster where Boerne relives the same day over and over again and thinks it's about a murder case when it's actually about, shocked noises, love. The idea is still interesting to me but I doubt I will find the motivation to properly plot this.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Something that comes relatively easy to me and what people tend to highlight in their comments is the dialogues I write. I think they're what I like best about many of my stories.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm not good at writing quickly, as I tend to overthink. And it’s difficult for me to keep the right tempo of telling the story, and having a conclusive story arch, especially in long fics. I sometimes feel like I randomly elaborate on parts of the fic rather than actually think about it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If it suits the story, why not. I don’t think I have done it yet, though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Tatort Münster :)

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

This one is hard. Of course, my writing style changed over the years (developed, I should hope) but I still feel very fond of most of my stories. If I absolutely have to pick a favorite, it might be Tauchen ist wie Fliegen unter Wasser (Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne). It took me about five years to finish this story and I am proud of all the love and work I put into it. Coming up with the murder crime, making it interesting and connecting it to the romance of Thiel and Boerne was challenging, and I am happy with how it turned out. The fic still means a lot to me.

This was so much fun! Props to everybody who read this far.

I think most people I know have already done this by now, so feel free to ignore: @cricrithings @holly-hop @keinbutterdieb @khalaris and anybody else that feels like it!

[amnesiaskulls]

introduction post ig

hello tumblr

My name is amnesia! I use she/they pronouns but I don’t really care if you use one more then the other

I’m aroace and a minor, so please dont do anything weird (dont in general) im uncomfortable with any sort of jokes like that unless you are one of my close friends, and only one of them has tumblr, so you (yes you!) are NOT included in the group that are able to make jokes directed at me about sexual things, and especially butt jokes or making weird comments about my art.

PLEASE DO NOT DM ME UNLESS WE ARE MUTUALS! I HATE TALKING TO PEOPLE I DONT KNOW BUT IF MY ASKS ARE OPEN PLEASE ASK AWAY!! DO NOT TRACE, REPOST ON OTHER PLATFORMS, OR STEAL MY ART. Reblogging is fine because i love it when you do that (please reblog!) but DO NOT USE MY ART IN ANY OTHER WAY WITHOUT MY PERMISSION

now that those boundaries are out of the way, more about me!

I am an artist and I love to draw anything on my mind atm, but I usually only post finished pieces to my tumblr page!

some things im interested in right now are

Mystreet/mcd (more mystreet) because i watched it when it came out and it has a huge nostalgia factor for me, and i love headcannoning them!

mcsm- mostly casual, kinda fades in and out, not as ravaging on my brain as the aphverse

SPLATOON!! I love splatoon sm! I became a fan at 3’s release and im so sad final fest is soon but also so excited!

Anything after this is mostly rant stuff and headcannons so read at your own risk ig?

My favorite characters are aplenty so they get their own area

Laurance Zvahl, Garroth Ro’meave, Katelyn, Lukas, FRYE AND PEARL RAGGH!!, Artificer rainworld, Lolbit fnaf, and oh so many more because “i love exploring humans complex emotions!” -slmccl

Ships! I care a lot about how they interact but because of my stupid little ace mind (mine specifically, I know many ace people that don’t struggle with this) I suck at like thinking about kissing because I hate the notion of kissing unless its a joke or important

Garrance, Melcinda, Zana, Danvis(mostly platonic), Travlyn, gay Jesskas, lesbian petra x jessie, pearlina, artihunter(mostly crack but i love doomed yuri sm) (thats one thing about me is i love doomed ships or thinking about ships like laurgene as exes because it lets me add more anger and other feeling to my headcannons)(like garrance mdc “in another universe” because they just dont go as well together in mcd as myst)

This has become kind of a rant but this is my blog and I do whatever I want so whatever

Music I like!

I have a very vast music taste other then most country, and can listen to most songs! Some artists I enjoy are:

Will Wood (plus tapeworms), Kiltro, Old glass animals like zaba and most of htbahb, the crane wives, fiabc, IDKHOW, and a lot others!

okay thats enough info for a stranger on the internet, have a wonderful day!

[paperlovesadness]

I'm sitting outside in the sun in wet jeans - following advice on how to stretch denim to better fit you - making breathing room for myself and my thighs who are hated by jean sizing everywhere - and I'm getting sappy about Tumblr and fangirling and this community of lovely, unapologetically excited people I've met here.

This is something not many will probably read (long posts can be tough, I get it) - it just kind of all spilled I guess? Incoherently but with passion. So why not set it free when it's already here.

You see - I can't help but credit Tumblr as this huge part of my inner child healing journey. And particularly the girlhood part of it all.

Subconsciously & even consciously I've felt so so ashamed of these "girly" sides of me all my life. Especially in their "prime time" of my tween and teen years. I'd love things secretly - or at most - talk about them only after loudly labelling them as "guilty pleasures" (quite a terrible concept) or acting like it's all done with a tinge of self-aware irony.

But being a hopeless romantic; loving your favorite characters with your whole being; squealing over your favorite music and the musicians who make it; talking about your favorite songs and lyrics and photos; drawing, editing, making fanart of things that make your heart sore; sharing your fantasies and dreams; crying about quotes and big ideas; writing stories - those are all such beautiful things.

I've immersed myself back in the worlds of blogging and fanfiction and musical fangirling and... In many ways I haven't felt this good since I was a kid - still untouched by society and it's shaming of the endless supply of passion I had in me towards the things I loved.

And fangirls are a force. Fangirls are what made the music industry what it is. They're who discovered the Beatles and Leonard Cohen and Frank Sinatra and David Bowie - amongst so many others - and when they did the hard work - only then was it all taken over and appropriated by men who claimed only they can "truly and objectively" appreciate it.

It's girls - bright, unapologetically excited, passionate girls who care for pretty things and things with a soul and things with a story, with romantic connotations - girls who love to curate aesthetically pleasing landscapes and spaces around themselves - it's those girls who contributed hugely to an actual analogue photography and vinyl pressing revival & re-popularization.

I'm in my late twenties. I've only recently let myself pierce my ears and start wearing makeup sometimes. And care openly about my appearance and fashion choices. It's very much still all queer coded and slightly gender-mixed. Because that's me. But caring about these things has always been categorized as a "girl thing" = therefore = shameful, shallow, not something to be proud of.

I'm continuously curing my incredibly hurtful and internally misogynistic complex of "not being like other girls". There are still biases and automatic-judgements I'm fighting on the daily. But it's become so much clearer and easier to do so.

Im more ways than one I want to be exactly like other girls. I want to grab the hands of all the fangirls around this site and dance with them in a circle and tell them they look great whatever they choose to look like and I want to sit down in a meadow and make flower crowns together and squeal over our favorite things.

And to be clear I'm not saying be girly. I'm saying embrace you inner girlhood.

And that could be so many things. Just... Never be ashamed of the parts of it that society deems shallow and embarrassing or worthless.

And just... Thank you for being girlies with me 💗

(girlies & girls as usual used as more of a state of my mind and being; not a strictly gendered term. This applies in all, most or many ways to queer people & of course non-binary and trans experiences).

[cryptidclaw]

Kittyclan- Clangen game yr 2 update!

Im probably not going to draw much for my clangen games anymore, just bec I want to focus on my warriors designs! But I do want to keep playing my clangen clans and posting about them!

Sooo my plan is to post under my tags #cryptid plays clangen and #kittyclan with little updates as things happen in the game! (I may also start posting about other clans I make as well!)

I think this will be a fun side thing to have on the blog hehe

Now I was going to do another drawing challenge for Kittyclan's second year, but like i said, im not going to do that anymore! sooo instead here's an update on what happened to Kittyclan in their second year! If you want context for what happened previously, heres the yr one post!

Here is the Clan now after 24 moons!

The clan has only had one death, and has gained 7 new cats!

1. Butterpaw and Cheesepaw were born to Milkystar and Fredheart at the beginning of the year! I named them Cheese and Butter bec I thought it would be cute if Milkystar's kits were named after things that are made from milk hehe

2. Lintheather dreamt of a prophecy and Beanzsong helped him work it out... so I wonder what that was about... Also this means Lint may be making friends with someone? Maybe? plz sir make some friends u r so lonely

3. Later Nilesrump, a former kittypet, is found by Lint and joins clan! I wonder if Niles had something to do with the prophecy!

4. Good things did not keep hapening however bec like a moon after Niles joined the clan Fluttershy DIED!! VIA AN ATTACK!!

I think this is a sign that some of the other clans in Kittyclan's forest are not so inviting to this new clan of loners and kittypets... They must be VERY mad bec Fluttershy was a med cat! they murdered a med cat!!!

5. three moons later another attack accured! I have to assume that Beanzsong was attacked by annother clan's angry warriors and that Fredheart had to protect him!

Fred was injured so badly he had to retire to the elders den early!

6. during the same moon, after their father had to retire, Cheese and Butter were made apprentices, and when they became apprentices they both became vengeful cats... I thin k they are very mad about what happened to their father, and they want vengeance on the cats who did this!

Also! Lintheather is Butterpaw's mentor bec the boy deserved to get an apprentice, he's a great teacher and I think he really wanted to be a mentor! And! due to the clan loosing a med cat so suddenly, Jessicapond chose to take on Cheesepaw as a new apprentice! Lets hope Cheese gets over being vengeful bec I have no clue how that would effect his work as a med cat heh...

7. Emitail and Flowerdusk join the clan during the same moon! Emitail is an ex-kittypet and Flowerdust is a disgrased deputy... Maybe Flowerdusk was the deputy of the clan that has been attacking Kittyclan, and he was kicked out for disagreeing with them!

8. In the last few moons of the year Flightkit is dropped off by his mom and Moorstalk, and ex-kittypet, joins the clan!

There are a few updates in the way of relationships too...

Milkystar and Fredheart continue to have the most conflicting relationship ever, do they like each other orrr no? I have no clue... Its a love hate relationship.

Sweetpea also continues to be not close to her leader at all despite being deputy, and continues to be Fredheart's bff

Butterpaw and Cheesepaw are like SUPER bonded, they are very close, which I think is adorable, but also they scare me bec they are currently a vengeful duo

there is also a little bit of drama happening between Beanzsong, Lintheather and Creatureivy bec Beanz and Lint both have little crushes on Creature, and Creature returns both of those little crushes! I want to see if any of those relationships progress bec I would love to have a healthy mates relationship in this clan lol

Also just ignore the fact that Lint has feelings for Jessicapond, Jessica is WAY too old for Lint! So im choosing to ignore that one... Tho I am worried that they will become mates on their own bec they both have feelings for each other :(

Anyways! thats pretty much it so far! Im going to just do small posts as thing happen from now on, but I wanted to catch yall up on what's happening!

[floralkittygambler]

Coming and Going - Some More Vivzie Shit

Before you start, this is an extremely LONG read covering this account, my views of Viv, my content and my relationships within this Godforsaken fandom. This is my most up to date thoughts in 2023 on everything. This is something I feel necessary for me to do.

Contents (in no particular order):

Current Situation

Relationships in the fandom

Why I started this Blog

Thoughts on Viv/co and how they've changed since m previous posts

the fans

future thoughts and moving on

accountability

If any of this interests you, read ahead. Titles will be provided for easier following.

Why I started this blog

Originally this was a blog like any other; art, reblogs n shit. As I grew more into a Viv fan, I started posting fanart and follow blogs on her work. The more I learned the more I hated, and thus I began to become a critic. I was pissed off at viv wasting her potential, and eventually I became just as toxic and shitty as both her hardcore haters and majority of her fans. Some takes were good, some bad, either way I got too involved, too absorbed and let it consume me. Stupidly getting into conflicts, stuff like that. And I became a hardcore hater. I vocalised it. My initial aims long lost. Then I disappeared.

Vivzie, co, all that

I went from adoration to disgust of this lot. Now though, whilst I deeply dislike Viv and her crew, deeply dislike majority of the fans, I just feel... Gross. Hollow. Exhausted. I have a lot to say on Viv and my previous takes but truthfully I am too lazy and too tired and ultimately have better shit to do than go through every little thing right *now*. But I do want to at least cover a few here to do some justice, I guess.

So to skim through a few. Lets go.

Viv tracing. Honestly, tracing is a useful skill but it's bad when you trace another's work, don't credit and claim it as your own. This includes modified tracing (starting with a trace then stylising over it to make it more your style). Having nazi, nonce, etc characters I think people take extreme. These sorts make excellent "love to hate them" villains. Owning such characters isn't a crime. It's how theyre portrayed and the purpose. The nuance - something to constantly keep in mind. Her romanticism sausage party art is yikes. With her age, maturity, humour, I believe she saw this as some kind of fucked up humour, having enough awareness to understand the taboo to hide this stuff yet I do feel this was a stupid kid doing stupid edgy shit. Does that make it right? No. But I definitely dont think Viv is some nonce or nazi supporter. Later finding out how this profile was discovered makes me equally question morality on all sides. Vivs beastiality nonce artwork with the snake tub, Ive seen private dms to solidify that viv admitted to both owning this piece and that it was supposed to be a joke. Once again, I genuinely dont think shes a nonce BUT she needs to realise that if that character was below 18, she has drawn child prawn (censorship whooo) as well as distributed it via sharing online. That's still something really serious and gross. I get her humour is immature and dark, but theres lines you dont cross. And I dont find that art funny in any ways, it genuinely looks like a perverts wank bank rather than funny. Idk if the lad was one of them shapeshifting animals either but being in a human form in this instance does make the portrayal a beastiality one, due to human presenting. That's not cool. As much as I loathe those who would abuse kids or animals, I dont think this is Viv necessarily. Though I believe in this sense, Viv needs to understand and work with her cats more. She's done a lot of wrong shit but false accusations derail from solid proven issues that need addressing. At the least, Im glad the animal pervs and nonce stuff is gone. Heartbreaking that shit is so often heard of. This is the sort of thing Id laugh at as a kid but now Im grown and look after little ones, it fills me with nothing but sickening horror. Whilst vile vile vile, I havent seen anything concrete to prove or imply Viv supporting/participating in such depravity. And I fucking pray it stays that way.

You have apologised in the past. But the way you did so, the way you spoke about it afterwards and the way you are now proves it was insincere. Something to shut 'haters' up.

Viv, with all your shit, neurodiversity and late maturity, you're still yet to change for the better. The people you hang with are some of the most vile, toxic, narcissistic and shitty people. Yes men. You hire fans who'll do anything to please you, which can open the path to abuse (note: CAN, not a definitive, though in this case...). You equally are still a shitty person still. You're coming apart at the seams. Critique and hate aren't the same, and unfortunately you'll need adaptability and tough skin in this world as people can be very cruel. You lie. You twist like a constrictor. Charm the more susceptible. A very well known kissarse of yours on twitter who was quite the bully was followed by yourself, liked tweets then hired. They arent the only one either. Whilst you cannot be responsible for every single fans every single action, their are responsibilities you hold. Dont like tweets that encourage hate, dont reward negative behaviours, check your own public actions and how they may influence (act like a prick and those who admire you will mimic). Behind the scenes, treat people right. Dont play favourites. Always have integrity. Learn to incorporate critiques as well as filter out legitimate hate. I know it's not easy, but it's necessary to survive.

Viv, I can wholeheartedly empathise with receiving harsh hate early on in life and online. I know how that can taint and stunt the mind. But the thing is, you have to eventually break from that. BE responsible. Grow. Ive been toxic before. That's partially why I fixate on some of this. Equally Im angry. You ARE a VERY talented artist with potential. A shitty writer, do work on that (as well as diverse stories to tell - gain those experiences or listen to those who've been there - esp as you're doing this as a living) but when you're passionate about a piece, you're talented. And when you're not, you do what we all do and dole shite out (btw people thought I was bullying Viv when I said her P5 Alastor piece was bad in comparison to her other works. The proportions were awful, you could tell she just wanted it out the way. A startling lack of soul.) From what I've seen, you crave approval and admiration to compensate from the past cruelty. I can empathise. But that shit isnt healthy. And you block yourself from growth. You cultivate a tainted crop. You poison yourself. You sacrifice integrity and the gruelling work of improvement for the instant gratification of worship from fans by bending to their desires and your own at the cost of quality. What couldve been groundbreaking storytelling and visuals is nothing more than a glorified low-level fanfic. Wasted potential. Something I cant stand. I have been harsh as that same method helped me. In doing so, I disregarded your own humanity. I wish I conducted myself better and though I never encouraged abuse, I'm sorry that my words may have contributed to this shit cycle.

Your staff and many of your fans have... Concerning attributes, such as the fetishing of toxic relationships, blurred boundaries, disregard of boundaries, etc. The stark numbers of such unpleasant people flocking you is extremely worrying.

I do deeply dislike you. I do feel you have ultimately caused your own shit - been there - but I do pity you as well. I wish you'd go the effort to be you. To be less try hard. To allow growth and change, diversity, stop petting hatred. Get a better crowd, esp one willing to actually help you to be better by pointing shit out. To stop mass abusing others. I do dislike you greatly. I wish you would do better but all you've been doing is doubling down on shit. I feel Icarus needs to fly closer to the Sun for change to happen. It feels like the only way you may actually ground yourself and smell the roses. I just wish folk could be better as a whole. Sick of shit like this. Whilst no one is perfect, there's still standards to uphold. Growth to be had. Breach stereotypes and fetishes that dehumanise, work on yourself and your relationships with others. Careful on your humour and learn how to execute humour properly. Glad you're not doing beastiality art though. You cant please everyone and shouldnt have to in order to be admired and popular. Just be better. Also hating kids isnt a personality. I get not everyone cares about them but dont take shit too far. They can be gross and annoying but in the end they're just... Children. Theyre learning and growing. You can only hope they bloom into decent people. Admittedly a kid tripping is pretty funny but there's a limit. If you want to portray a creep, don't do anything that endorses their behaviours. Theyre vile, remember. No kid deserves that. Work on financing too. Medicating via shopping is a dangerous road. Dont bend to social pressures (such as getting wasted because friends do if you dont want to). Vet your staff. Better ethics.

Fandom

And the fans are just... A minority are lovely. I had a HuskerDust fan be respectful of our differences and hope the best for them. But the majority I've encountered or witnessed have been off their fucking heads. Often encouraged by Viv or staff. The staff and fans are now claiming that critics are homophobic racists falsely (which implies certain races, sexualities, identities, etc are absolved of criticism - which is both favouritism and it's own form of bigotry. Hell, it's spitting on the real victims of such crimes over mediocre cartoons and digital lunacy). These same people then insult people for... being cis and straight. Firstly, that's also bigotry and a dick move on identity and invalidation, it's also false in some cases (proving folks just spew shit), it demands special treatment for identities when we're all equal and deserve to be treated with equity, it's also just... Weak. Bigots can fuck off BUT many critiques have been about inconsistency in plots, writing and design issues, etc. Nothing pertaining identity.

Fans have been hypocritical like their idol. We're all hypocritical to an extent. But the madness... Ok, Blitzo uses retard (note: neurodivergant and have right to say that word, even then it also means delay "fire retardant" as well as where I live it's not nearly as bad as another term used yet is still fine in the US.) I think this isn't an issue as it can show things or speech patterns of the character. Then fans have falsely accused critics of ableism who either havent used the word, quoting this or even have right to say it yet coddle this fictional character. This was referenced in a recent episode with Blitzo about to call another character (rumours are this nurse is autistic but I do NOT have full confirmation. Pinch of salt!) retard before retracting it as it being unacceptable to say. Blitzo really wouldnt give a shit. Likewise I feel this is one of those permanant grey areas in fiction; is it? Isnt it? in terms of using terms. Of Mice and Men used slurs against black folk, that was to reflect that time and the character's mentalities. Not an author's mirror. Likewise, it wasn't used as humour either. Coming from ONE ND, I couldn't care. I feel this is hyperfocused on over more glaring issues, as well as a benefit of the doubt (being character mindset and possibly not author projection). Feel free to have your own opinions, and I only speak for myself there. I can empathise with those who may feel more sensitive to the word (which is why Im more careful in it's use) but as someone who is also technically affected, I just... Personally dont feel too bothered. Likewise, I'm learning to hold more human compassion and flexibility to error and human flaws rather than perfect standards (again, this wont justify or absolve. And more serious things like an assault doesnt apply. It's daft this needs clarifying, it should be the bare minimal). Not everyone will agree on everything, but there's just some lines that should be a standard. I think the staff and fans overall conduct themselves immaturely, cruelly, and cause harm.

I regret in engaging in some arguments. Not worth it. I think I shouldve been more compassionate to difference yet equally not been so volatile with harassment. HunterGirl's HD discord hate on me is... Something I shouldn't have fed. Hate me, that's fine. But the fact someone so close to Viv allowed the harassment is disappointing and shitty. Bitch behind the scenes but dont go out at people. Likewise behind the scenes talk, dont threaten folk either *Viv* (at one of your ex-staff). Call someone the biggest wanker you know but there are limits you dont cross. As with Viv and co, I once hoped for improvement but I just lack faith in that now and I'd just rather stay away from it all. Too much toxicity I've allowed myself to bathe in and hatred and venom only burns. Only burns more of the same product. It's not worth it. Don't even have the skills or assets to do any good from this either. If I can't help, itd be best to support those who can help whilst staying away from the vitriol. Stick to the facts and my own integrity. It's tiring to be involved in all... this. Again, I can only speak on myself hence why I'm only saying me shit. Any vents can be done to friends but otherwise none of this has resulted in any good. And I contributed to cruelty as well. It aint right.

Friendships

Bit more personal and past. Ive made many nice friends. Friends Im still friends with now, and I thank them. With certain issues arising, theyve been the anchors to ground and account me. Real friends. Friends that deserve to be shown more how appreciated they really are. Thank you. They have guided me into better awareness and accountability. We have our own little group now for art, gaming and hopefully any other group activities. Friend stuff. We'll rant, we'll vent, but we're actually doing friend shit now. Ive hyperfixated enough on negatives. Dragged others into an abyss with me. Its not fair for them.

There is a friend here, I think they dont see my stuff anymore idk. I was warned about them. Through all Ive seen and my experiences, I wish you to get help. Get off tumblr. Get off twitter. Both can be extremely toxic as well as cultivate toxicity. Be accountable. Get help. And focus on you. I still worry for you, though I am disgusted on some of your actions. Treat the living with respect. Learn that people will try to bait you. Let go of paranoia (not easy), confront your past and grow. And please... Dont lie. Dont lie about events that occur as you're creating your own misery. Learn to step back and not be so forceful and preachy. Been there, it's not a good place. Experience a diverse crowd on a human level. And please spend some time away from the internet. People really can be pricks sometimes. Even ourselves. You're also pretty hair trigger and tempered. A bit like me sometimes LOL. Learn to balance that. Trust me.

To mates on here who Ive only spoken to here, if you'd still like to be mates, I can link you our group if you're up for group art and gaming or activities, or to another social media account to chat.

To unanswered asks, I'll try but not promise to address them. Those which ended up deleted, I can only remember the one question sorry. And the answer is Sitri. Sitri would be a good HB replacement for Stolas, he's quite the love/lust expert and a focus on men. Fun chap! I had more for this answer but again, cant be arsed with this shit anymore. Sorry.

I joined a spindle critique group. What I learned is the union from bitterness isnt solid grounds for friendship. I wont go into details as it's a private and resolved matter. I shared the full log to current friends to have a neutral and raw take. These are friends I can trust will yank my chain if Im in the wrong. And they did. They spoke of the wrongs on both sides. These are folks who are guiding me to better. Folks I have trusted with the full log, full transparency. I appreciate you both and take your words into stride daily. To old friends, I would rather friends make their own choices. I never hated you, but was hurt on this other side of you. Likewise Im sorry to make you feel that way. Im sorry to have trauma dumped (recently discovered this term, and using it to manage myself better.) There was only one individual that I was given uneasy vibes on and made that clear from the start. I tried with them. For awhile, I even started to see them as a genuine friend. In the end, we were too clashing. We didn't mesh well. My initial feeling on the situation ultimately felt true. But when I open up about home issues and emotions, I dont want them weaponised. Especially as Ive been doing some irl work to find many holes in my perspective as well as others hard work in being involved with me. Things are different now. Never felt it needed in convo, I was too fixed on my own hurt. Home was self preservation at those times. I regret opening up over some personal issues. None of this absolves me of poorly handling situations and anger issues. Near the end, I felt more wary to be more open on certain things. But I shouldve been a better friend. I never liked how catty things got. Trolled. We all just became knobs in one way or another.

My ask to remove my triggers was me hoping to do good for you. Remove a trigger that would inevitably end up being a large part of the group sooner or later, maybe this summer. Especially as I 'lacked empathy'. I thought I was doing good. I never lied about it, and feel bitter that was twisted. If I explained something, I was wrong. Kept it brief, I was bitchy. I was willing to endure a trigger if it made things easier in the group, and the situation was more than a stupid ship. Ive had triggers Ive adapted to handle better now. And public, you are not entitled to my medical history however we're in an age where youre both valid and entitled to privacy yet must breach privacy to have a voice. I have an ED. A certain word wasn't even allowed in my presence without panic and flashbacks. I was a little girl then. And I managed to slowly ease the trigger word via gradual exposure - a replacement word, spelling the word, and eventually hearing the word. It - and what it has done to me - will always scar me. But I learned to handle it better in my own time. I dont need lecturing on how triggers work. Especially when each case is unique, each 'cure' is personalised. If you want to believe Im full of shit then... Do that. Im sorry for being a shitty friend at times and Im working on that, but outside opinions (note: these are done in private spaces so all parties are anon) have noted flaw on your end too. We all fucked up. The two things below the belt were the trigger claims (hence my example of my own experiences with another trigger) and my private issues shared in confidant are the two things I remain disgusted by. That doesnt justify my frustrations, dumping or behaviour. And my example is not a pity ploy either. We're separate now, and it's best that way.

Overall, being here, in this community and fandom, has done nothing but shit. Fuelled the worst in me and others (from what ive seen in public fandom spaces). I may do art and other creative endevours on spindle, but otherwise good riddance. Even if the purge is painful.

Another friend. Im in their group too. One to improve some creative skills. Appreciate being let in there, though I'll probably mainly lurk for tips. Thank you for allowing me to do so. Wording is honestly growing harder for me each day. It's helping me start the path of better expression.

Current and future

I word shit less. Not here, as this is long overdue. But trying to sum up more efficiently. Spending more time irl to improve myself and my life. Welcoming friends who we both can hold each other accountable and support. Focusing more on stuff to improve as well as enjoy. The world is so dismal. So I spend time doing other stuff. Im already mopey enough. Sorting things to refine and focus on enjoyments. Gaining skills to help others. Experienced some personal griefs/losses. And Im learning that people arent entitled to everything. Not quite there yet but Im learning. Im often in deep pain, so cant always do what I want to get done in a day.

Most likely, I will discontinue this. Besides others have been doing a brilliant job. Dont absorb yourself. You can control much of what you get exposed to, so what you can control, make it good! Have integrity, work on yourselves. Try not to be a dickhead but acknowledge where you are a dickhead and work on that. Balance is key to a healthy mind, take the good with the not so good. Take the time to simply sit outside and observe. Appreciate life. Similarities and differences. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. But have your standards. Learn. Grow.

Im in a lot of pain and have shit to do. Take care. I feel Viv, co, fans will only learn with drastics, haters need to learn empathy (haters as in stalker level folk), old friends Im sorry to hurt and equally feel hurt by. Best we've gone separate ways and moving on. Current friends I appreciate. That one person, please... PLEASE get help. Youre young, man- This shit is going to poison your very core. Make you into something shitty and cruel. And please treat animals with care. Me, still a twat but trying. Embrace truth, compassion and fairness with a firm angle. Or just avoid nasty shit.

Well, cya. Stay well. We're not going to be here forever.

[angelhummel]

okay so in honor of pride month, i have something i wanna get off my chest for real. sorry if this is super long

I have a tendency to go outside of tumblr spaces when looking at glee content — something i frequently regret. but in my time in those spaces, i often the most delusional take ever. it is basically, “kurt was always kinda pushy towards finn. so did he actually DESERVE to be called a slur??? 🤔🤔🤔 let’s discuss.” this shit boils my blood to no end and while it’s obvious why, i feel the incessant need to defend my boy kurt at all costs.

for one, he wasn’t any more pushy than any other character in the show. i mean for god’s sake, rachel quite literally THREW herself at finn as early as the first episode and i guess that’s fine??? what kurt did was virtually no different bc all the characters do weird, out of pocket shit throughout the show. it really only bothered finn bc kurt is a boy and finn is OVERLY bothered by the prospect of a boy having a crush on him. (more specifically that its kurt — he just simply dislikes kurt being attracted potentially straight guys. thats why he took so much issue to kurt singing with sam. it’s always been about his personal issues with kurt)

moving on to the actual scene in question, so much of what flop accused kurt of was grossly unfair to him. like he says something along the lines of “im scared to even take a shower when youre around,” implying that kurt is some ‘predatory gay’. which is ironic, bc we learn from kurt himself that he never showered after gym JUST to avoid be labelled as something like that. at no point did kurt’s advances move towards remotely ANYTHING sexual in nature, finn just instead assumed that of him

finally, i do believe that flop WANTED to call kurt a slur. he knew that kurt wouldnt call him out for it and you can tell from his tone that that had been building up inside of him for awhile. he wanted something that would push kurt away/scare him. he just went for the cruelest method possible in the moment.

so all this was to basically say that flop hudson sucks and that kurt did not deserve any of the shit that he endured. he was pretty much taught by his peers that it is inappropriate and unacceptable for him to have the same wants and desires that literally any teenager would have simply bc he was gay.

thank you for tuning into my rant. this has been stewing for awhile lmao

lmao yesterday i saw a gifset where cory as finn was doing some good fun acting and i stared at him for like a minute going "if i focus on the cory of it all, can i trick myself into liking finn even a little bit?"

the answer was already no, but if it hadn't been, this ask wouldve set me straight. thank you <3

i've definitely talked about that before tho bc omg. finn has the nerve to call anyone else pushy. i know its not like it'd happened in the show already but. this is the boy setting up a whole kissing booth to manipulate quinn into kissing him aksljfsdlk. or the way he got drunk at the wedding reception in s4 and was hounding rachel. that literally gives me the heebie jeebies lmao sorry to be dramatic about it but i hate it

and god yeah it just breaks my heart bc we know that kurt is always walking on eggshells around these people anyway. and literally 2x04 has become one of my least favorite episodes bc of how hard it is to watch as a kurt stan lmao. sorry it has like two iconic songs but finchel are so fucking manipulative and awful and i've had several rants about this episode before aljsfdlks but basically boils down to them literally making kurt feel like he's committing a crime by asking sam to sing a duet with him and isolating him to an unhealthy degree

and then wanna act all :O four eps later when kurt is like "im getting tf out of here to go to school with people who are nice to me" aslkfdslfjsd

anyway literally just search "2x04 anti finn" on my blog and you will find more posts than you would ever care to read lmao

[dovelydraws]

Im no creator or anything, but that last part you wrote about how the internet is becoming a lonely place…i kinda feel that. Most likely not in the same sense you do, but everywhere the release of new and newer stuff and media is on the forefront, AI is rising and making the release even faster (at the cost of quality most of the time) and it‘s just…there‘s no appreciation anymore? Nobody stops to listen or see or engage with stuff because newer music or art or anything really is coming out and everyone wants to keep up. Communities or fanbases become short lived and that‘s for the huge pieces, and the smaller ones kinda seem to just…fall behind and are forgotten

Engagement also seems to have become somewhat precarious. That‘s solely an opinion of mine, but whenever I hear what creators have to deal with due to the animosity made possible by the internet…it‘s just sad. And as such, I for one don‘t want to bother anyone and so I feel like not wanting to say the wrong thing and in the worst scenario cost an artist some motivation or joy (yes, Im aware, me sending an ask anonymously is a bit ironic, but that‘s mostly my anxiety peaking)

Yeah, I totally agree about everything going way too fast. Over the last few years I REALLY began hating the binge-format brought on by streaming services, ever since I noticed how quickly communities die out after new shows air because of it. I remember a lot of people complaining when certain ones like hbomax and disneyplus decided to release their shows weekly instead of all at once, but I actually felt relieved and excited by the idea, because it meant we'd all actually have time to digest and truly appreciate what we were seeing and have actual discussions around it like we used to.

It's why I describe the feeling I get when people simply leave a quick "like" on my art without actual engagement with me and my work as "consumption." I don't fault people for doing it on occasion, I get sometimes we just like what we see and don't have much to say about it and that's that, I certainly do the same thing sometimes. But when it's constantly the only form of recognition I'm getting, it really starts to feel like I'm not being seen as a person behind the screen, that my work was churned out for instant individual gratification with no extra thought behind it.

This feeling started to get really, really bad with the rottmnt fandom in particular actually, which is why I swore off making any more fanart for it. Seeing several strangers discover me, spam-like through my blog on all my fanart posts, ignore everything else, no reblogs, no comments, and not even follow me afterwards, it really began to leave a bad taste in my mouth and made me super uncomfortable. It was happening literally every day for months at one point, after the movie came out. It made me feel like a content mill, and I very nearly deleted every single one of my fanart posts because of it. I'm hesitant to jump into making fanart for any other fandoms now too, because I don't want that to happen again.

As for what you said about the way people treat artists making you nervous to engage yourself, in worry that you'll bother them or make it worse- tbh, I think your recognition of that makes it even more important for you to say what you want to say? Art is a form of communication. Artists are looking for community, when we share our work to the world. We're always bound to not be understood or treated fairly, when you open yourself up like that. Whether that's feeling hated, or ignored, or disrespected, I think every positive comment left by someone who enjoyed what they saw helps to drown out those bad experiences. It's all we're ever looking for, to know that our effort meant something to someone.

I totally get where you're coming from with your anxiety, but I truly think you could only do more good than harm by letting someone know that you liked something they put a lot of love and effort into creating. I always reblog art that I like over on my personal blog, and I try to leave little comments in the tags whenever my brain's not totally fried after an 8 hour shift at my job, lol. It doesn't even need to be anything specific! I try to do that for people when I can because I know how happy it makes me feel when someone else does that for me. :)

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC I HAVE A QUESTION. VERY IMPORTANT. what on EARTH is the suckening. i have seen posts on ur blog with blood and such tagged jrwi suckening and i am so so intrigued i love blood and gore and fucked up homoeroticism <3 pls pls pls tell me what the suckening is i am on my knees begging rn

oh dude holy fucking shit . so. u know i have been posting about jrwi it has been my main thing since like november. well. in case u do not know. its a dnd podcast run by charlie slimecicle, grizzlyplays, condifiction and bizly. their main campaign is called Riptide and its the one with the fish guy and all the pirates. WELL. they have a patreon and on their patreon they sometimes do mini campaigns! let me preface this by saying i have never even REMOTELY had an interest in paying for ANYTHING on patreon only because i fuckinf hate subscription payments and also im usually hesitant about paying money for fandom things especially in the content creator sphere etc etc you know how it is . HOWEVER. god their pther campaigns are so fucking worth it dude. the long running secondary main campaign thats been going along around the same time as riptide is called Prime Defenders and its a superhero themed one! i am just at the beginning of season 2 rn its so good william wisp my absolute beloved. (something else rlly cool is that they rotate being the dm for each of the campaigns and i think that makes each of them really fresh and unique bc everyone has a different dm style and a different way of telling a story. god i fucking love dnd and collaborative storytellint its incredible)

ANYWAY IM GRTTING SIDETRACKED. so during hiatuses from riptide and pd they sometimes run limited campaigns that only go for a handful of epsiodes. one of this is. regrettably. called the Suckening. its run using the vampires: masquerade ttrpg setup and ruleset which is. obviously. centered around vampires. CHARLIE SLIMECICLE is the dm and i fucking love it because god that man has a mind for horror. (he also ran blood in the bayou which was a 4-epispde mini campaign using call of cthulu and ive listened to it like 3 times now bc its got nasty bug body horror in it hooooly shit its so good) ANYWAY. um . its not *as* homoerotic as the fanart makes it out to be. just a warning. but there is a scene where two homies drink each others blood (one is a human one is a vampire. theres this think in the masquerade called blood bonding and its like. if you get a human to drink your blood on three separate occasions they become your servant basically. really homoerotic stuff in theory) and when the vampire is scolded for it he goes "well he already loves me. hes my boy" and they generally have that dynamic going on. fizzfangs i lvoe you.

ANYWAY UHHHHH. the first ... four? five? episodes are up for free on YouTube and theyve got a fun little visual novel style to them with the official character art :] heres a link 2 the first ep!!

the rest (there are 8 episodes as of rn!) are totally on patreon but if u end up listening and liking them enough to want the rest hit me up because ive got those download links i can share with u bc ur my beloved mutual and i love sharing things with my friends so they dont have to pay for them <3

[gayhenrycreel]

fuck it im blocking every fucking tag about palestine this is actually making me suicidal. i have no more empathy to give. no matter how much i want to i genuinely have stopped feeling empathy about whatever ridiculous things america is shooting itself in the foot over. its not just palestine ive lost the ability to feel empathy for. im losing empathy for people like me in america. my brain was never supposed to see my fellow humans being slaughtered in countries ive never been to. i just cant keep tormenting myself over something that i have literally no power over. this does not affect me. im not going to risk killing myself over americas bullshit again. back in october i got very suicidal about this. i am not risking my life anymore. i certainly cant single handedly destroy a country on the other side of the planet if im dead right?! im sick of people demanding i make a fucking statement about politics that WILL NEVER INFLUENCE MY INSIGNIFICANT LIFE EVER. im just one fucking person. im not a billionare. i am literally a peasant in one of the worlds smallest and least powerful nations. i can do more if i keep myself alive and healthy. my time is wasted on america. i can do so much more if i focus on the community im actually in, not obsessing over america like my useless father who everyone hates. i can actually help palestine if i focus on nz politics. the internet is a cesspool of pointlessness unless i had 233567889998654311246890 followers. i dont. im a small blog on a small site. im better off influencing my OWN FUCKING GOVERNMENT, not some fascist i will never met or know the name of. i have literally no power over some random american who thinks everyone else should care about which government got caught in possession of something dodgey. i get it. it affects you. but i have no ability to help you. i cant fix your government. i CAN do my best to fix my own government and can actually help people by doing so. this seems to be a uniquely american thing. no, my american mutuals, this is not targeted at you, this is about the general american tendency to imagine oneself as being the most important country in the world. i know more about american politics than my own government. why do i know the location of washington state? why should i care about what bullshit some guy ive never heard of is saying on twitter. wendys mcdonaldfuck is the grandson of joseph stalin is he? nothing to do with me. i refuse to be my father. he is awful and his worst trait is his pathological obsession with america. im sorry. i wish i had any more fucks to give. but cant do anything about some war i have no power over. i just want to go back to my hometown where i can make a difference. no cities. no flashing lights. just the forest, mutual aid, and a goddamn groundedness to reality. dont become obsessed over something out of your control. politicians will not see your tumblr post. donate to people in need. donate to those who actually can do something. if you cant stop thinking about genocide you are developing a pathological obsession. im not kidding. its bad for your health. i wont let it happen to me again. VOTE IN LOCAL ELECTIONS FOR FUCKS SAKE. the mayors choose the governors, the governors choose the president. thats how you help palestine. giving yourself ocd over it helps no one, it just slowly kills you. focus on the things in your control. now excuse me while i use the power of community to tangibly help people.