#haven't even gotten to the worst part of it yet so !! still going strong !!!

[keeps-ache]

ah yiss. the golden garbage premium pass (free!)

[whatgaviiformes]

Ficlet: (for FishTank Week)

All I've got in my for the moment is mini scenes, so here's a combo of prompts 1 and 2. :D

“Virg-?”

“No.” Virgil didn’t have the bandwidth for Gordon's Gordonness today. Not while the smudge on Thunderbird Two's wing, which he'd been trying to buff out all morning, was entirely Gordon's fault. See if he ever lets him pilot Two ever again.

“Aww come on, bro. I haven't even said anything yet!” Despite the blatant whine, there was a smile in his words. Which he was ignoring; Virgil was intentionally trying to focus on Two’s paint job. 

Gordon leaned in to intrude on Virgil's space, and he was forced to look at him. Not a hint of remorse, the little shit. 

Heavily, Virgil sighed. “Whatever it is you want, my answer's no.” 

“Two looks fine, Virgil, I’m don’t even see -”

“I do!” 

“Okay, big guns I guess.” Finally, Gordon’s expression cracked, a little too forced to be real. “Tickets to the Phil! Next time we are in the city,” Gordon bargained. His eyes twitched as he offered, “I'll even go with you.” The smile widened, losing no luster, as he pretended he was happy to provide such an option. 

Biting back a grin, Virgil crossed his arms. Considering Gordon couldn't sit still for more than five minutes and would often fall asleep within the first minute of an andante movement, the offer of the symphony was a serious trade indeed. Philharmonic for what, though?  “Ok, I'm listening.” 

“I need a wingman. Hold on, hear me out before you give me that look. There's this lecture…”

Apparently it was not just one lecture, but a series of them over the upcoming weekend. And for all his elusiveness earlier, Gordon had fully buried the lede, considering Monterey asked him specifically to guest speak. Not as International Rescue or the Olympic medalist, but solely based on an article he’d gotten published about dolphin pods and life cycles. 

He knew the one. It was a good article, as researched and thorough as it was approachable. Reading it, he could hear Gordon’s voice throughout, and Virgil knew Gordon thrived in public speaking. A bold thought, but there was a part of him that considered seriously: if Gordon had ever cared enough to try to go after Scott’s job, he probably could’ve done so based on his charisma alone. It was a good thing Gordon valued his own unapologetic authenticity more than the business acumen taught to them by their father. 

Gordon’s had been a different journey. 

Virgil loved that for him, and loved him for it. Much more than a silly paint smudge. 

“Gordon,” Virgil holds up a hand to interrupt him mid-pitch. “You can stop. Of course I’ll go with you to listen to your presentation.” Relief visibly coursed through the aquanaut, and Virgil flicked his microfiber cloth against his chest. “I’m still cashing in on the symphony, though.” 

“That’s fair.”  

“You could’ve just said you wanted company, you know. I would’nt’ve said no.” 

Gordon clapped him on the back, beaming. “Nah, what’s the fun in that? Besides, this is what we do. And I’m getting the better end of the deal, anyway. The show’ll be -  what? - three hours at the most. You’re the one that has to deal with three days of fish,” he squeezed his shoulders, laughing, “and three hours of me fidgeting.”

Virgil groaned. And it wasn’t because of Gordon’s strong grip on his shoulders. 

And just like that, Gordon released his hold and pranced off as quickly as he’d arrived. 

“You’re the worst,” Virgil shouted after him.

Gordon just shimmied away in response.

[luna-melon]

For the ask game lol

Peter

Nebula

Mantis

Phos

Toko

Aoi

Sakura

Papyrus

Sans

Ayyyy thanks for the ask. Been a while since I've filled out one of these memes <3

Answers below.

Peter OTP: Peter/Nebula, of course. If the 100k+ words of fanfiction I've written about them is anything to go by, they are my OTP of all time. <3 I want Peter to move on and find happiness with someone new after vol. 3 and the movie planted the seeds for these two ending up together in the future really well I think. BrOTP: This was the hardest to decide because I love Peter's friendships with all the other Guardians. Gonna go with Mantis here though because I love how she looks out for her bro and tries to steer him in the right direction. Wish we'd gotten to see more of them being siblings after the holiday special 'cause the confirmation that she was Peter's sister made me so happy! TuT OT3: Shipping Peter with Nebula and Gamora at the same time would be really weird so instead I'm gonna go with Nebula/Peter/Thor in like, a V shaped polycule where Peter is dating them both but Nebula and Thor aren't into each other. NOTP: Ro/quill. I don't think I need to explain myself with this one, but shipping the raccoon with the humanoid characters is weird and gross to me.

Nebula OTP: Same as above, I think her implied feelings for Peter in vol. 3 make all the sense in the world. I mean, why wouldn't Nebula fall for the same person as Gamora? That's just how her life is. I think these two being together would fit their arcs well. Nebula learns to accept that she doesn't have to always be competing with Gamora in order to be worthy of love, and Peter gets his shit together enough to see how Nebula stuck by and cared for him and how Gamora was right about how the person he fell for "sounds more like her." BrOTP: I love her friendship with Rocket so much! Two sad cyborgs goin' on adventures together for five years, I'd kill to see more of that. OT3: Same as above as well I guess, but I don't see Nebula being poly. NOTP: I'm fine with all the big Nebula ships really even if I don't consume their content.

Mantis OTP: I used to ship Mantis/Nebula back in the day and I think that's still my fave Mantis ship even if I no longer go there. I also like the idea of her having a crush on Gamora. BrOTP: Mantis and Drax are my favorite duo ever. Just a couple of strange goofballs pranking each other and causing chaos. OT3: Can't think of anything for this one. NOTP: I don't hate Mantis and Drax as a romantic pairing but them just being weird best friends means so much to me. We need more platonic M/F relationships like them.

Phos OTP: I like all the Phos ships but can't deny that Phos/Cinnabar is my favorite. I know you haven't read the manga yet but I reread this one part of it earlier in the week that makes me wanna throw Phos in the trash because we could have had it all!! xD BrOTP: I really enjoyed Phos and Cairngorm's dynamic. OT3: Phos/Cinnabar/Antarc. Idk how it'd work out but all I know is that I want all three of these rocks to be happy. NOTP: I'm not picky with HNK ships but I'm sure some people ship Phos with Aechmea so no thanks to that.

Toko OTP: Toko/Komaru! These two mean the world to me. Seeing Toko end up with an amazing girlfriend who supports and loves her after everything she's been through and the development she underwent in Ultra Despair Girls damn made me cry. BrOTP: I love the interactions between her and Makoto in her Free Time events. The Naegis are the only ones who can tame this girl. OT3: I like the Toko/Sayaka ship so I can imagine an AU where she survives and throuples up with Tokomaru. NOTP: Byakuya. These two are the worst for each other and no one can change my mind.

Aoi OTP: I very much enjoy her and Sakura together. BrOTP: Yuta Asahina deserved better and in my personal headcanon, he survives UDG and gets to see his sis again. OT3: I think Sakura had a boyfriend so sandwich Hina in between them. NOTP: Got no strong negative feelings for any Hina ships.

Sakura OTP: Same as above. Love me a big buff sporty girlfriend and her smol buff sporty girlfriend. BroTP: I really enjoyed her Free Times with Makoto, too. OT3: Same as above. NOTP: Also same as above. It's hard to go wrong with Sakura ships.

Papyrus OTP: I don't ship Papyrus with anyone but I remember liking Papyrus/Mettaton when I was younger. BrOTP: I fucking LOVE his friendship with Undyne. Anyone who doesn't call Papyrus and Undyne in every room in the game to see what weird shit they say is missing out. OT3: I got nothin'. NOTP: Font/cest. Don't understand why this is such a big thing.

Sans OTP: These days I like the idea of Sans being aroace but I remember having a very brief phase of shipping Sans/Asgore xD BrOTP: Him and Papyrus ofc, but I also like him seeing Frisk as a little sibling, too. OT3: Sans/Fries/Ketchup NOTP: Fr/ans. That is a child...

[famousaft3rdeath]

this is bad. this is really bad.

i wish i could control this heart of mine. it pulls me in every direction without considering consequences. it feels so truly and deeply about everything one can imagine. the obvious things, obviously, but also the subtle things. the light coming through the window shades in just the right way to project little shapes on the floor. the peaceful stillness of a living space that, although shared, although dirty, although terrible, is mine. the rumbling of a past aching to be forgotten, yet quiet hope for the future. looking outside my door and being greeted with swaths of green.

my heart always looks for new things to love. it tends to find that love in places it shouldn't. it trusts too easily. it loves too fully. it gives itself up to men who ignore it. it doesn't forget, though. that's the worst part. i can forgive, but i can never forget.

maybe that's why i am where i am. my heart, no matter how much my mind wants to, just can't forget. it still has imprints from every wound i've gotten, every betrayal, every hurt. and he has left a large one. my brain tells me i'm okay and that he promised not to hurt me anymore, but my heart is still reeling from the blow. my heart, although it looks for things to fall in love with every day, cannot stay in love with him. he does little things that make me reconsider sometimes. but most of the time it's all the same. i humor him. i laugh at his jokes, i don't talk too much, i listen to his rants and rambles. but my heart isn't there. my heart is off searching for another little thing to love, and is completely unattached to him.

my heart, however, has gone too far. it has found a huge thing to love. i don't blame it. it just needs to feel wanted and safe. what better way to find that than with someone just like him, except different? the closeness he and i have has started to fade. i feel as though we're growing in opposite directions. but the other man and i are growing rapidly together. he knows how to dance. he's tall and handsome. he's got this voice that can make kings kneel and seas rise. he seems to care. maybe that's what i crave most of all. ever since he slept with her, i haven't been convinced that he truly cares. if he betrayed me once, he'll betray me again. but the other man. the other man is different. at least, that's what my heart wants to believe. my mind is more wary of him. he's had a lot of trouble follow him. he's dangerous. but he's kind-hearted and compassionate. and he hasn't hurt me. my heart pulls on its reigns for him. i'm drawn to him in a way that i can't quite describe. but it's strong. simultaneously i grow away from the man i have spent the last year and a half building a life with. he thinks we're going to get married. i feel terrible crushing that for him: i don't honestly know if he would recover. he has so much life in front of him, though. he would eventually get over it, i hope. i would feel responsible for his mental state afterward. i don't want that. part of me wants to avoid breaking his heart just to avoid being responsible for his actions.

i know its the trauma talking. it's everything that's happened with my friends who have died. but once you go through that, you are changed forever. i saw a photo of myself recently from two weeks before she died, and i did not recognize myself. i looked so young. part of the reason is because i was quite young. but there's another layer to it, i think. a lot of the worst things that have ever happened to me happened after that photo. turning sixteen was the worst decision i've ever made, and it wasn't even my choice to begin with. that's the thing with time. it keeps going, whether or not it's convenient.

i've been thinking about them both a lot recently. i miss them more than i can say. it feels almost disingenuous, though. like if they were still alive, i wouldn't be thinking about them as much as i do. it's almost embarrassing to admit how much i still grieve for them. if the roles were reversed, i don't know that they would grieve for me. it's a strange feeling, almost like survivor's guilt. maybe a bit of jealousy. they don't have to endure any of this any longer.

i still don't know if he actually died by suicide. i think it was, knowing what i know about him and his death. but i don't know much. there's very little record of his death online. most of the time you can at least find an obituary. but not with him. just an article behind a paywall. there will always be so much uncertainty regarding him. i hate it. i wish i could know what his last moments were like. how he died. what caused it. what the tipping point was. but i will never know, because he's not here to tell me.

its a depressing thing to have to accept after someone dies. you'll never know all the details. no matter how close you are to the person, you'll never know all the details.

their deaths are still so deeply intwined in my life, in why i am the way that i am. i don't know if that's normal. then again, it isn't normal to have lost two friends at nineteen. i try to give myself grace with it, but it's hard. there's always something in the back of my mind that tells me i'm feeling wrong about everything. and maybe i am. but that doesn't change that i still do feel. i feel everything, all the time, and it's exhausting. i can't lose anyone else. i just can't.

[timeoverload]

Most of my day was alright. I woke up late again but somehow I still got ready on time. It was so hard to get out of bed but I did it. I'm still so happy my boss is back at work and we spent most of the morning chatting about random stuff so that was nice. She's a tough lady and I admire her a lot.

I also found out today that 2 of my co-workers have gotten in car accidents the past week. My friend who used to work in my department got hit while she was driving home with her grandson last weekend and her car is totaled. They are both ok but she is pretty bruised up and she had to go to the hospital after the accident. I feel so bad for her and I talked to her for a while. The evening team lead was on his way to work and he got rear ended by some lady who was driving too fast and hit a patch of ice when he was sitting at the stop light. I know he is ok so that's good. I haven't heard much else since he couldn't come to work today but that's totally understandable. I know how much car accidents suck and I hope I never have another one. I think that's why I get so paranoid about driving in the snow.

I had to stay late and do his job and I wasn't expecting to have to do that today. The lady who works the night shift also called in sick. I'm glad I didn't have eye cases this afternoon otherwise I would probably still be there right now. I don't think I was in the right state of mind to be in charge. I was just acting stupid but I am so exhausted that I have been getting frustrated so easily. I know I shouldn't act like that because I don't want to bother anyone. It's hard to internalize things sometimes when I'm so burned out. I just can't handle having a lead position because it's too stressful. I would like to set a better example so I'm a little disappointed in myself. I guess I will try harder next time.

I'm so glad that Thursday is the only day I have to work next week. I got my time off requests approved finally. I haven't entered my PTO time for Christmas yet so technically I shouldn't have gotten both those days off but I'm not going to complain. I need to stay away from there for a while.

I have to be at work around 6am tomorrow, maybe earlier if I can get up on time. I have to help run BD tests and make sure everything is set up for the day. I haven't had to go in that early for a while. I guess it could be worse. I remember having to go in at 4am during the worst part of the pandemic and having to sterilize N95 masks for all of the nurses, surgical techs, and doctors with a big UV sterilizer. We had to do that because we didn't have enough masks so they had to reuse theirs. It was so gross and that sterilizer was dangerous. I was afraid I was going to accidentally blind myself. There weren't enough of those masks for the people in our department though so we all got covid eventually. I also was the first person there in the morning so I had to wipe down everything and mop the floor with a strong cleaner that made me nauseous. Things have changed and the cleaning duties are split up now so I'm not responsible for everything. That was a bad time in my life and I'm glad I never have to do that again.

I am so tired and I should probably make something to eat and get ready for bed. I don't want to wake up late again. My back also hurts and I need to lay down. I need to hook my computer back up to the tv too because I forgot how much it hurts my back to use my lap desk for my computer and it's annoying. I just want to be comfortable but sometimes it feels impossible. I know I complain a lot but I will be ok.

It would be nice if I could get off work a little early tomorrow since I have to go in at 6 but I'm not sure if that will happen. I am going to try though. I'm going to do my best to make it a good day.

I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too!!! 💖💖💖

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" from The Owl House

Wow. They are really pushing it for that secret message, huh?

Anywho--Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

I think it goes without saying at this point that Season Two of The Owl House is setting itself up as a season without filler. Now, filler episodes aren't always bad. Yes, it hurts when a series turns away from the main plot for a week. But at best, they're utilized as a chance for the writers to play around with the characters and developing said characters without it relating to the overarching story. So, some people who see that consider it a bad thing that a series doesn't have that many filler episodes.

I like to call those people: F**king morons.

Don't get me wrong, I see where some of you are coming from. And I'd be willing to agree...if The Owl House was a plot-driven series. Which it's not. It is a character-driven series. Because for every plot thread and narrative that the show presents, they always relate to the characters and develop them further each time these threads get brought up. For example, look at "Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty's Door" (It pains me just to write that). Several narratives move forward, and it’s all done to make the characters grow. And to explain how requires going into spoilers. So keep that in mind as you continue reading.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Hooty: Might as well start with the character that this episode is about.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't a huge fan when I found out we're getting a Hooty-centered episode. I've grown to love him over time, but he is a comedic character that's best used in small doses. Primarily due to how his voice is grating to me (My ears are still bleeding...). With that said, I do really love his contributions in "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (Seriously, there couldn't have been a less awkward title?). Hooty's antics when trying to help everyone are as hilarious as they are heartwarming. He deeply cares for his friends but just doesn't understand how his plans could do some unintended harm, which is pretty lovable if you ask me. We also get some surprisingly great insight into his character, as he feels insecure about basically being the comic relief who doesn't really do that much other than being funny. Rarely do you get that level of dimension from a comedic character, and it's even more uncommon for that to work out as well as it does here. It once again proves just how competent the writing is in this series to the point where we get an episode about Hooty, and it's funny and heartwarming instead of being annoying. And whoever is responsible for that, you're the best.

Lilith’s Letter to Hooty: I mean it when I say that I love how Lilith kept her word about her and Hooty becoming penpals. Their friendship was something I would have never expected to love, and I'm still shocked that it works so well, so seeing it continue like this just warms me to the bone. Plus, it is pretty sweet that Lilith's kind words are what inspired Hooty to do what he's done in this episode...meaning it's Lilith we should thank here--SON OF A WITCH! Even when she's gone, she's still working her way into my heart!

King going through Puberty: What?! KING IS EVOLVING!

(There, I made a Pokemon reference. Do I get my cookie now?)

Eda Keeping Herself Awake to Train Herself: I'm willing to bet a large sum of money that this has everything to with Raine getting captured last week. If Eda was still the most powerful witch in the Isles, she might have actually saved them. But she isn't, and now the love of her life is in the clutches of a tyrant planning something that could potentially be the end of everything. So I can understand Eda pushing herself to her limit to get back on top again, as I would probably do the same. It's not healthy in any way, and Eda would be doing more harm than good. But when it comes to the people you love, logic doesn't always win out in the end.

Luz Wanting to Make her Way into Amity’s Heart by Making the Echo Mouse Happy: ...That's it. I Just...I just love everything about it, ok?

This was also when I knew that I was wrong to doubt that there would be zero Lumity in this episode. I realize my follies now, and I humbly apologize.

Hooty Teaching King About Demons: This was so funny. So, so funny. Probably doesn't come as a surprise, especially since The Owl House proves itself as a comedy before, but the jokes have never hit as frequently and as hard as they did here. From Hooty getting offended by King's dance to him and Dana's insert wanting a "DNA sample," everything managed to successfully make me lose my s**t. It does come at the expense of King suffering, but I can stomach that much more than if it were Eda or Luz. And, as a bonus, we get lore about how demons work, added with another great joke of King getting in trouble with Hooty for saying he already knows this stuff. Humor isn't always the show's strong suit, but when it works, it f**king works.

King Wanting to Know What he Is: But despite how funny King's vignette was, we still get to see more of his character grow. We learn that he's frustrated now that there's this big question mark over his life now, feeling extra angry that his father "abandoned" him to leave such a present mystery. It shows the hidden resentment he has that Lilith inadvertently brought out, made even worse when King's father hasn't responded to the video yet. King hasn't really gotten that much development until "Echoes of the Past," so it's pretty cool that the writers haven't really slowed down on it. Especially when it leads to these great moments of King venting his frustrations.

King’s Shouting Powers: KING learned FUS RO DAH!

(And now that's a Pokemon reference AND a Skyrim reference. WHERE'S MY GOSH DANG COOKIE!?)

Eda’s Nightmare: If King's vignette hits you hard with the laughs, Eda's will absolutely hit you harder with the feels (never make me say "feels" unironically again). Knowing that Eda's life got thoroughly screwed over by the curse is something we could figure out on her own. But seeing just how much the curse ruined her life and tore apart relationships that mean the world to her really does a swell job at ripping apart the soul. What's even more tragic is, technically speaking, it's all sort of Eda's fault too. She kept hiding the curse, refusing to be a burden to others who would do all they could to help. If she had only been open and honest, things probably wouldn't have changed much, but they most likely would have been better than they are now.

Eda Attacked her Father as the Owl Beast: ...I don't know what I was expecting when "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" hinted that there was some possible tension between Eda and her father...but it definitely wasn't this.

The fact that we see blood where his eye used to be doesn't make things any happier, either.

Raine Broke Up with Eda: Before we get into anything else, let's celebrate the fact that it's now confirmed that Eda and Raine really did use to date in the past. Because this show is just f**king phenomenal with its LGBTQA+ representation!

But, seriously, this is a fantastic reveal that goes far beyond just shipping...well, sort of. It shines a new light on Eda and Raine's interactions from last week, revealing that while they're not a couple anymore, they still very much love each other. It helps make their last interaction especially tragic, as they were both on the same page now and could very well be together again. Only for them to be forced apart for the second time in a way that's much worse than the first. And I frickin' adore that this series changes the impact of one episode one week later. Again, it shows just how competent these writers are, and kudos to them for making something so...perfect.

The Moon Person: WHO THE FU--Nope. Nope! We have more than enough mystery bulls**t to deal with through CreepyLuz and Philip Wittebane, so I am PUTTING YOU ON THE BACKBURNER FOR NOW!

(They're probably nothing more than a one-off character, anyway)

The Owl Beast and Eda are Connected: Through visuals alone, we, the audience, can clue into what the curse really means. The Owl Beast doesn't want to be a part of Eda as much as she doesn't want it to be a part of her. Whether they like it or not, and they very much don't, they're stuck together. The thing is, and this is what I love the most, they still decide to make the best of their situation rather than let it ruin their lives even more. This might be the best possible turn Eda's curse could have made. It'll still affect her, and there are probably more negatives than positives, but at least now, it's not the worst thing in the world. And I feel like that's all anyone can ask when in a position like her own.

Eda's “Pretty Dream”: I don't know what emotions are toiling inside me more with this moment. Awe and wonder over how beautiful Eda's dream is, or heartbreak over the implication that she has only had nightmares since getting cursed...I'm gonna say both. Yeah, it's definitely both.

Eda’s Harpie Form: Well, fan artists are gonna have a field day with this...especially the freaks.

(You know who you are. And you're weird!)

Luz Calling Amity a “Cotton-Candy Haired Goddess”: ...Have I ever mentioned how much I love this show?

Hooty Kidnapped Amity: ...Hooty, if your stupidity wasn't charming, I would be more than willing to call the authorities over how you kidnapped a girl in your version of a knapsack and locked her in the basement. For that is going to ring SO MANY alarm bells in people's heads.

Amity and Luz Stuck in a Tunnel of Love: *Smacks lips* Mmm. The adorable awkwardness of this moment is just *chef's kiss* magnifique!

Luz being afraid of getting made fun of:

Amity’s look of hope: I mean...just...f**king--LOOK AT HER:

That is the look of a girl who, while embarrassed as hell, still is ecstatic to learn for a brief moment, everything that she is hoping for has a high chance of being real. Who, in their right mind, wouldn't go "Aw!" at something so pure and innocent?!

Luz Destroying the Tunnel of Love: This is how to effectively utilize dramatic irony. The audience can understand why Luz is tearing the place apart because she explicitly states that she's afraid of Amity rejecting her in the end. They also know that's bogus, thus making it extra painful to watch Amity's heart break more and more with each second (which is perfectly represented through Amity's expressions). You feel bad for both of them, and even worse when you know that it can easily be prevented by the simple art of communication. That's what makes it great dramatic irony. Knowing the point of view of each character results in a scene that evokes emotions in two different ways.

Hooty’s Breakdown: This was...genuinely hard to watch. Not that it was badly written, far from it. It just...hurt seeing how destroyed Hooty was when he realized he failed the people he has such an admiration for. On the upside, a wholesome moment follows soon after as the Owl House gang tries to reassure Hooty that he's done a lot of good that night. It's a pure action that shows even though Hooty gets on their nerves all the time, they still care about him...damn it. I think I'm gonna cry.

Eda’s Advice for Luz: ...Eda...You're the best.

You found out that your surrogate daughter wants to ask a girl out, and not only were you quick to deliver the best possible advice ("Just go for it!"), but you also quickly reassure her that it doesn't need to be perfect.

And you know what? That's it. Eda is the best cartoon mom! She might not technically be Luz's mom, but I don't give a s**t because she is the best!

Luz and Amity Ask Each Other Out: Shh-sh-sh-sh...

Do you hear that?

...

...

...It's the sound of dozens of Lumity fans collectively losing their s**t...and I'm one of them.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!

IT!

IS!

CANON!

AH-HAHAHAHAHA!

HOLY S**T! Holy s**t! Holy s**t...might just be the best way I could possibly describe this! Finally, after all the waiting, speculating, and praying, THESE TWO IDIOTS FINALLY GOT TOGETHER! AND IT WAS PERFECT! I mean, it was awkward as s**t, but that's what makes it perfect! You know why? You wanna--Hey! *snaps fingers*. You want to know why? It's because they're teenagers. Of f**king course, it's going to be awkward! This is their first relationship, so there will be a lot of missteps along the way. And that, in itself, brings me to the best (second best part?) thing about it happening in episode eight of the new seasons. Most endgame couples get together in the climax or even at the end of the series. But to have them get together this early on, means there will be quite a few episodes dedicated to showing them grow as a couple.

And better than that--EVEN F**KING BETTER THAN THAT--dozens of kids are going to see these two, a realistic depiction of young love that just so happens to involve two girls, and are going to learn once and for all that there is nothing wrong with being who they are. That fact alone is f**king incredible. Yes, it sucks that season three got cut short, and we'll have even less time with Luz and Amity, but knowing how many kids have felt seen today almost makes it worth it in the end.

And if I see one mother f**ker saying this was poorly paced, I might just hunt them down for SPORT...Sorry if that was an overreaction. I'M JUST SO HAPPY! Because they're happy! Look at them. Listen to them! It's so...GAH-HAHAHA!

“They’re adorable! And deserve all the happiness!”: You're darn right, Hooty! You're darn right.

King’s Father(?) Shows Up: What the--WHAT?! They're doing this now?! Here?! After everything else?

Oh, man. What could this mean? What dynamic changes will this cause in the main cast? How could the writers fit this in during the next two episodes? And what--

Hooty Eats the Letter: ...Pfffft--HAHAHAHA!

Oh, man...I should be mad, and I wouldn't blame others if they are...but that is too much of a brilliant f**k you that I can't help but appreciate it. Bravo writers. Bravo.

WHAT I DISLIKED

...Dislikes? Dislikes? You would honestly believe that after everything I witnessed in this episode, that I would have the gull to list anything wrong with it?!

HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT I WOULD BE SO CALLUS TO--Actually, I do kind of have an issue with the episode's title. It's just too much of an awkward mouthful for me to get behind. I understand that the writers wanted to sneak the K into the secret message, but were there really no other titles starting with K that they couldn't come up with?

But that's just a personal issue, and in no way do I think anybody else would feel the same way. Especially with how well-written everything else is anyway.

IN CONCLUSION

"Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (title aside) is another A+ episode. It was hilarious, heart-wrenching, and downright adorable while keeping me entertained with every minute. I'm sure there are some issues I was willing to ignore due to how expertly written everything else was, but why bother looking for the chinks in the armor when I could just enjoy a perfect episode for being so...perfect! Some of you might be willing to disagree with me, but to that, I say: Don't knock it till you've tried it.

(Now, if you don't excuse me, I'm going to go lie down. It's...It's been a day.)

[miraculousares]

Reflexes

A quick fic inspired by this gif set

Over the last three years of being Ladybug, Marinette had changed in several ways. The two most notable to those around her were both physical. One, she was buff. Like, she could beat Kim at wrestling kind of buff. When she wore bikinis to the beach with her friends, they'd all stare at her abs for a moment. Alya constantly asked her how she had gotten so ripped but never got a straight answer. It's not like Marinette could exactly say that she had gotten strong by fighting villains all day.

The other thing that had become most noticeable was her fighting skills. Few of her friends ever witnessed anything as fighting wasn't a super common civilian issue, but Alya saw her take down a mugger with one hand. Nobody really believed her when she told people about it - "Oh, sweet little Marinette couldn't hurt a fly," they often said - but she still made a note not to startle her or get on her bad side.

One of the most problematic changes that she'd made, though, was her fighting instincts. While it came in handy during fights with akumas, she often found herself judo-flipping her partner, Chat Noir, when he snuck up on her. The worst part was that he never learned to give her some warning, so it wasn't an uncommon occurrence to accidentally throw her best friend off of roofs. Of course, he was always okay. Not only did he have his staff and super-agility, but he'd learned to expect it. That only made her feel more guilty.

~ o n e  d a y ~

Ladybug leaned against the chimney of one of the several rooftops of Paris. She was looking down at her yoyo's screen, catching up on some fan emails, while she waited for her partner. Suddenly, she felt the sudden presence of someone behind her, a hand reaching toward her. Instinctively, she grabbed the wrist and slammed the attacker down on the ground in front of her. She kept the arm in her grasp and put a foot on the person's chest to hold them down. The laughter that followed registered before the face did. She immediately let go and took her foot off of the blonde and held down a hand to help him up. Once he was standing again, he worked to control his laughter.

"Stupid cat, I've told you over and over again not to sneak up on me like that! You know that I react like that to being startled," she grumbled, closing up her yoyo and attaching it to her hip.

"I know, I know. But it's kinda funny," he wiped a tear from his eye.

"It won't be so funny when you dull my reflexes and I get my miraculous stolen by a villain," she retorted, pushing him playfully but sternly on the shoulder.

"My lady, you could never be dull, not even your reflexes." His eyes shone with adoration and she rolled her eyes. She had to admit that his flirtiness had gotten a lot sweeter in the past few months as they got to know each other deeper and deeper.

"Yeah, whatever, kitty. Are you ready to go on patrol?"

"With you? Always."

The two leaped from the rooftop and began scanning the streets of Paris for any akumas or citizens in need of help. They helped an elderly woman gather the groceries that had fallen through a hole in her bag and helped prevent a traffic collision. As always, they stopped by the bench where Mr. Ramier sat with his pigeons and chatted with him, bringing him comfort. The man had gone through a lot of trauma, having been akumatized over 50 times. Finally, the sun began to set and they decided to call it a night.

~

Marinette stretched and yawned, extremely tired. As soon as they'd gotten home from patrol, they got an akuma alert and had stayed up until nearly 5 am fighting.

"I don't know how I'm gonna make it through the day on only two hours of sleep," Marinette commented as she messily pulled her hair into her signature pigtails.

"You've got this, Marinette! I know you can do it!" Her kwami pressed against her cheek in a hug and the girl felt energized just from the affection from the small creature.

"Thanks, Tikki," she smiled. Then she opened her bag for her to fly into and headed for school.

"Hey, girl!" Alya called from across the courtyard. She was standing near the stairs talking to Nino. Marinette managed to jog over there and greeted her friends.

"Oh man, you look terrible," Nino commented. Alya jabbed him in the side. "I mean, you seem tired. You okay, dude?"

Marinette nodded. "Yeah, the noise from the akuma last night kept me up," she fibbed.

"Oh that's right, it was right over by the bakery, wasn't it? Did you see that villain though? Hawkmoth is really stepping up his game!" Alya continued to talk about the night's battle, giving Marinette a chance to zone out for a moment since she didn't need a rundown of the battle she'd fought. Suddenly, she felt a hand grab her shoulder. She jumped and her instincts took over. She grabbed the wrist of the person behind her before they could even tighten their grip and threw them with a slam onto the ground a few feet in front of her. Then, she processed what had just happened and who she had just thrown. She rushed over to him and offered a hand to help him up.

"Oh my god! ARE YOU SORRY? I mean- I'm okay! I mean... uh, I'm so sorry! Are you okay, Adrien?" He stood up and stared at her in shock.

"I told you! I told you she was a damn ninja! Mylene owes me $10," Alya celebrated. But neither of the pair was paying any attention to her. Marinette was too lost trying to decipher Adrien's gaze and why he had yet to let go of her hand. The bell rang and students filtered out of the courtyard and into classrooms and eventually, the two were alone.

"I- ah, Adrien?" Marinette stammered, her face still a bright red but her thoughts more clouded by confusion than romance.

"I guess your reflexes haven't dulled yet," he whispered, his eyes never leaving hers. Marinette paused for a second, trying to figure out why the phrase sounded so familiar before it hit her.

"It won't be so funny when you dull my reflexes and I get my miraculous stolen by a villain."

"My lady, you could never be dull, not even your reflexes."

She felt her knees give out and she fell to the ground. Adrien quickly moved to kneel down beside her. She just stared at the blonde for a while, her eyes wide and brain moving at a thousand miles per minute.

"Chat... Chat Noir?" She finally pushed the words out of her lips, though they were a struggle. It felt impossible. Adrien was so different from Chat Noir. But, when she thought about it, it all made sense. She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug.

"It's really you, buganette," he whispered into her hair, returning the embrace.

"My kitty."

[ficklewish]

Pre Calc Sucks

a Tendou x Reader Soulmate AU

Word count: 1.6k

Genre: Fluff

Pairing: Tendou x reader

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

If you were told that you'd meet your soulmate through a texting app way before you did, you'd probably laugh at their face and tell them that it's not possible for that to happen, as it only does in movies or books. Or that's what you believed. Never in a million years did you think that it would happen to anyone you knew, let alone you yourself. It was a shock, but it was welcomed with open arms, as you had finally met the love of your life, the one fated to be with you. Meeting Tendou was, by far, the best day of your life. How you first met him however…now that would be a funny bedtime story. 

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

You were struggling with your art and school when you had downloaded discord. A school friend had suggested it to you, as certain servers had places for school or art help, and you had given in due to the huge lack of inspiration you had. Making an account and picking your username, it had finally been done, but once again, you were stuck. How exactly did discord work? Would it just…randomly suggest servers everyday or did you have to find them? You had left it for a while, just empty, waiting for it to be filled. Your friend had asked if you had made any online friends, and responding with no, they became confused. "Haven't you joined any servers?" You awkwardly laughed, turning away from them. "No…I don't know how discord works." You look back up at them and see the most judging look in their eyes. "You're hopeless. Here, let me help you." Taking your phone and opening your search engine, they go to a random site and start scrolling while you look over their shoulder. Seeing them go through multiple windows, they give back your phone. “There, I added you to one, you can figure out the rest from there.” Giving a small thanks, you turn to your phone, reading the instructions. “Hmmm, this is gonna take a while…” After doing a few tweaks and introducing yourself, you finally started to talk to the people on the server, learning their names and pronouns, acknowledging their age for appropriate conversations, and even adding a few friends. You had completely forgotten you were still at school, even though it was currently your lunch period. “Who knows, maybe your soulmate is in there.” Startled, you turn towards your friend then roll your eyes. The whole soulmate concept was something you used to like, but now, it was just a reminder that you hadn’t found yours yet. The whole “first place they touch you” thing was just a taunt, at least to you. Your mark was what seemed like someone's arms wrapped around you, including your upper arms. So many of your peers had already found theirs while you felt almost forgotten. It brought thoughts to your head, such as what if...your soulmate was across the world? Would you ever meet them? Did you even have one? Shoving the last thought deep into your mind. “I doubt it, shit like that only happens in movies.” Your friend looked at you, then smirked. “I don’t know about that.”

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

After classes ended, you went home, a bit excited to start talking online, as childish as it sounded. You had to keep reminding yourself that you joined for school and art help, but making a few friends never hurt. Taking off your shoes and dropping your things, you sat on the couch and noticed you were home alone for the time being, your parents most likely at the market. Taking your phone out and opening the app, you begin to interact in the correct chat for school. 

"Hey! I was wondering if someone could help me with my pre calculus homework? I'm a bit stuck"

You noticed that someone was already going to respond, which comforted you greatly. 

"I could help with this! Just give me a moment!"

Checking their profile to not accidentally misgender them, you notice that they are actually a he, and he has similar interests as you. Going back to your bag and getting your notebook and textbook, you turn back to your phone and prepare to fry your brain with math. (fucking hate math, it's so COMPLICATED) 

"Alright, what did you need help with?"

Telling your "tutor" about which problems you were confused about, they immediately begin to guide you through it and point out any mistakes you made, all while not exactly telling you the answer. He had helped you understand the concept much more easier than your teacher ever did, and you were extremely grateful for that. He had even given you some extra tips on how to remember certain formulas for when exams and tests are assigned. You thanked him multiple times for helping you with your homework

"Of course! Just DM me anytime you need help, I'd gladly do so!"

And that's what you did, texting him every now and then for homework help, mainly pre calc as it was your worst subject, and you didn't want to burden him with your other classes in case he had his own to pass. Sometimes, you'd even text him because you were actually interested in him, as he had been an interesting person to talk to. Learning a bit about him and sharing a bit about yourself, you quickly formed a friendship with, who you found out a few days ago, Tendou. He'd talk about how he was a part of a volleyball club, being a 3rd year, being part of a powerhouse team, and even some personal facts about his life. Of course, he never told you exactly where he was located, which was perfectly fine, as you didn't want to disclose that information either. However, you soon started to notice that whenever Tendou would text you, you'd become giddy no matter what the conversation was about, and when someone other than Tendou would text you, you'd deflate a bit, hoping it was him. Whenever you'd be doing anything else, you were hoping that he would send you something, you were just hoping to talk to him. These feelings scared you, as you might've had a soulmate, yet you fell for Tendou, and you prayed that maybe, it would somehow work out. 

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

4 months later, and Tendou being your "tutor" was still going strong, and your friendship even stronger. You had brought up meeting with him a few times, and the both of you had even planned it sometimes, but never actually went ahead with those plans. Your schedules never met up, as he had practice and you had a part time job. You grew wary, wondering if you would ever meet your online crush. It was then that you realized you had absolutely no idea of what Tendou even looked like, which meant you could've passed him on the street multiple times without noticing. You would constantly hope that one day he would stroll into the little cafe you worked at and notice you, but that was a far stretch, as he had no idea of what you looked like either. Today was no different. Each time a customer would waltz in, you had hoped that it was Tendou, but it never was. It was currently near closing time, and you had begun sweeping the place while a coworker cleaned the kitchen in the back. It wasn't until you were about to begin putting chairs up that you felt a vibration come from your phone. Taking it out, you look at your notifications and see you had gotten a text from Tendou, and you felt your heart skip a beat. Scanning the text, the happiness you had felt quickly melted into excitement and nervousness. 

"I found the place you work at, and I think I see you. Are you the one who's holding a broom?"

Rereading the text a few times to check if you weren't seeing things, you began to grow panicked. Today was an extremely stressful day, and you knew that you looked horrible. Your hair was a mess and you had even cried once due to an overly loud and rude man whose order was messed up, and you knew that the tear stains were still slightly visible. Quickly answering his text with a "come inside then :)" you continued to put chairs up in hopes to distract yourself from the nervousness and panic growing inside you with every passing second. Hearing the door open and the small bell above it chime, you freeze. "Um…are you possibly Y/N?" Turning around slowly, you're met with a tall boy with red hair and tired eyes. He reminded you of a lizard, and you thought he was really cute. Remembering that he had asked you a question, you answered. "Yes I am. Are you Tendou?" His eyes widen, and a smile grows on his face. "Aahhh, I finally get to meet you!" Realizing that he is indeed Tendou, a smile of your own grows on your face, and you couldn't stop yourself from engulfing him in a hug. The hug is cut short however, since you feel a searing pain from where Tendou had wrapped his arms around you. Pulling away, you look into his eyes, and does the same. Realization floods his eyes, and he looks as though he's about to cry. "Well shit, who knew you'd be my soulmate too." You immediately run back into his arms, shedding a few tears into his hoodie as he hugs you as if his life depended on it. 

"I guess stuff like this really does happen in real life."

ˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ༄ؘˑ

a/n: HOOOO this took me a while to write, had to start over 3 times 😔 neways, I hope you liked it!

[animeraider]

I get a lot of flack from anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, and other fuckwits about my words on the COVID-19 Pandemic and in particular the response to it in the US. I pull no punches about it, I believe firmly that the previous administration and ANYONE who enables them and their policies are complicit in the deaths of all of these people. They belong in prison.

I'm not going to fucking apologize for believing that. The fault for all of this belongs directly in the laps of the Republican Party. If you believe otherwise, you're WRONG. I can bring the receipts.

I've been pretty isolated during all of this. I went into lockdown on March 11, 2020 and I'm technically still there. I now work from home, and even though I've been fully vaccinated for two months now I still go out masked. I may never eat at a buffet again. Sorry Sizzler, but I've learned how to make your cheese bread.

I ripped a tendon in my left knee in May of 2020. I had to go to the hospital, but I was out in a few hours with crutches. I would joke with people that I'm now out of hinged joints to break.

But in July my cough returned with an attitude, and I picked up an infection. Not Covid, but it all made me pretty sick. So that you understand, I have what's called "Chronic Cough Syndrome". I've had it since I was 8. No one knows the cause or the cure. Believe me, we've looked. I just start coughing, and after a few months, I stop. It can be treated but I just have to live with it until someone comes up with something we haven't tried before.

Doctors have gotten into fistfights over whether or not I have Asthma. I don't, but sometimes Asthma medications work for a bit. To be honest, I've had this for so long that sometimes I don't even notice when I cough. It's just part of the wonder of being me.

I took the Pandemic seriously. I stayed home, I socially distanced, I got real familiar with teams, bluejeans, and zoom. I did a LOT of cooking. Started making bread. Watched the country fall apart at the seams and commented on it from my own little pocket of safety. I contributed a new song to a fund-raising effort for nurses. I did my part to stay safe, but my cough had other ideas.

Anyway, this time my coughing got pretty severe and I finally agreed to go to the hospital. As stated above, turns out I had picked up an infection. Combine that with my cough and I showed all of the symptoms of a severe case of COVID-19.

I'd been careful, but the hospital staff were all very cross with me. If I had COVID, I just exposed all of them, and the main nurse who tended to me had already been quarantined that same month for a different exposure. When the test came back negative the tension in the emergency ward calmed down immensely and everyone treated me kindly and professionally - I was a patient with something they knew what to do with and didn't bring plague into their house.

I spent 4 days in the hospital but the worst part, scariest part, was the wait to move from the Emergency Room to a private room. I came to the hospital in the late afternoon. I finally got my bed nearly 12 hours later, a good 8 hours after my test for COVID had come back negative.

I needed to be hospitalized, and needed a bed, and there weren't any. I had to wait for someone to either be discharged or to die.

I got my bed at 4 in the morning. Someone had died. Musical chairs was played and I was finally moved out of the Emergency Room.

It's really hard to understand how sobering that is without experiencing it. Many years ago, before we even knew about AIDS, I had the honor of donating blood and seeing it get used in a surgery mere minutes later. I became a regular blood donor at that moment - I felt so happy and alive that my blood had been used to save a life mere minutes after I had donated it (I'm O Negative) that I became a life-long believer. I donated every time I was eligible from that moment forward until a blood infection disqualified me from ever donating again 20 years later.

This was just the opposite. The guy with a cough and a treatable infection had to wait for someone on a ventilator to stop breathing. Someone with COVID died so that I could get a bed. They never knew this had happened, and I never learned who they were. Some random person died so that I could get better.

Try sleeping after that realization hits you. I couldn't. I barely slept the entire time I was there.

Despite the fact that I wasn't in the "COVID Ward" I got to see the effects first-hand. The newly disinfected bed and room I had was previously occupied by someone moved up to the Covid Ward. They in turn had moved up there after a ventilator was taken away from a patient who died. Staff rotated through different wards on different shifts. My first nurse was rotated into the Covid Ward. My next day nurse had just rotated out. I have never in my life seen a group of people look so haunted by their day to day lives.

A well-liked member of their staff was on a ventilator. So was a priest who worked in the hospital. I had never seen in person a "Code Blue". There were six of them my first day. There is also a "Code Black". It's much worse.

My wife and daughters weren't allowed to visit me. When your daily soundtrack is nothing but medical staff talking about the good and the bad, terrible television and the moaning/screaming of your new neighbors getting that visit from family is a huge stress relief. It wasn't available this time. I didn't see my family again until I was discharged. There was no outside world.

I admit that being in hospital during all of this, even though I myself didn't have COVID, shook me. When you're in hospital mostly what you deal with is yourself and your own condition, and getting the hell out of there as soon as you can. This time I was not only aware of the people around me, their conditions, their suffering and their recoveries, but I was also aware that a whole section of the building was dedicated to people who were going to die, and that the people who were treating me were also treating them.

This was as close as I got to the Pandemic. When I got home I fucking STAYED THERE. I went to the grocery store and the pharmacy and that was it. That was life for MONTHS.

Our grocery store was fantastic - they enforced social distancing and masks with gusto. They cleaned EVERYTHING. It had been a 24 hour store but converted to shorter hours so that the down time could be spent cleaning. Aisles were made one-way.

The first time I saw someone in the parking lot without a mask I have to admit that I lost it. I screamed at them (a white couple about my age), "PUT YOUR FUCKING MASKS ON YOU FUCKING MORONS!" Understand, I'm a fairly large man with a deep voice and have been a professional singer for decades and have played sax even longer. I'm loud and imposing. Everyone within 50 feet turned and stared at the couple. Okay, me first then the couple.

It's possible they didn't speak English. They exchanged a few words in Russian to each other and then masked up.

I've been known to let my temper show. I try not to because I know it's there and I know it's terrible. I've worked for decades to keep it in check and I just let it all out, screaming at a couple of rando Karens 20 feet away from anyone else who hadn't put their masks on yet. I had to acknowledge that this affected me profoundly. I'm dealing with that.

I've lost friends to COVID. One of my neighbors spent almost 3 months on a ventilator and survived it. Some of my friends have lost family. It hurts. It all hurts. It has changed me.

Some of you have noticed that I've been pretty productive in 2021 in terms of music, after not releasing material for over a decade. This whole experience has changed me, changed my perspective. I was already an angry liberal but I'm far angrier and much more liberal now than I was. The album I worked on forever essentially no longer exists. The person I am now couldn't make that album. I am excising demons and allowing the new to come in and take its place.

And you know what, so far, I'm okay. I'm still here. I intend to stay. In fact, what I intend to be the first song from my next album in its own way deals with the fact that I don't understand depression - I've never experienced it.

But I have to admit that I'm grateful to have family and friends in my life who accept me as I am, who provide unconditional love and support and I hope I do for them. I have the occasional doubt that I'm as good a friend/family member as I can be. I can be an ass sometimes.

(A couple of my long-time friends have just done spit-takes. "Sometimes????")

Because the scariest thing about what we've all been through - what I've been through - is that we have changed so much that I'm not sure that the people who know me best would be my friends if they met me as the person I am now. I am changed.

And the odds are pretty good that you have too. This is something we're all going to need to deal with, or we're lost.

Please, don't be lost.

And because it still needs doing, because the pandemic is still going strong as ever among the anti-vaxxers, the science deniers and the Republicans, please support our nurses. Here's the album I'm on that is still to this day, long after falling off the charts, raising money for them:

[gamegrumpiess]

Sleepwalk

I was listening to Sleepwalk by Renee Olstead, and I had this idea.

Grump: Danny (from now on, most will be Danny. Unless you request someone else, which I will be happy to do!)

Btw! I'm this plot, Renee didn't write the lyrics. You did! She isn't even a singer in this universe. Just a heads up.

-

Y/n's POV

I can't sleep tonight. It's been a month since me and Danny broke up, but I can't help but still mourn our relationship. It was mutual, at least that's what he thinks. I would've never called it off. I was so in love with him. I still am. We told the fans, and they were pretty supportive in what we did. A lot of them were really sad, as was I. Danny is a singer just like me. I do silly songs just like him. But he encouraged me to do a cover album or a cover song. I did one album, Cover Me Up was the name. It got a lot of love, which I am very proud of.

I turn on my phone to check the time. 4:23 am. The bold numbers shine at me in front of Danny's face. I couldn't bring it to myself to change my screensaver. It's not like anyone's gonna see. I miss him a lot, every night gets harder than the last. He was my world. I've known him since senior year of high school, he was a huge part of my life. And now... That's no more. He's probably living his best life. Being Danny Sexbang and all. He probably has girls flying at his feet, throwing him their panties and offering 'the night of his life'. I understand I might be over thinking, but I can't help it. He was mine, and now he's out there doing who knows what. I let a few stray tears fall down ontou pillow. It's so lonely here at night now. I love what I do, singing, dancing, having fun. It was just so much more amazing when I had someone to share it with.

I lay my head back a stare at the ceiling. I need to distract myself, so I reach for my headphones and plug them in, looking for my Oldies playlist. I click on it and the song that comes on is Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny. Listening to the slow beat and light guitar, I cry even more. Just my luck, huh? I can't just lay here, I really should get up and something. Writing usually helps me calm down. That's when I get an idea for a song, it's a bit sad and people will know exactly who its about. But maybe that's what needs to happen. My feelings should be out there. And if something goes wrong, I'll accept the outcomes.

I pull up my pen and notebook and just start writing.

"Sleepwalk, instead of dreamin' I

Sleepwalk.

Cause' I lost you and now, what am I to do?

Can't believe that we're through.

Sleep talk. Cause' I miss you, I sleep talk.

While the memories of you wither like a soul.

Darling I was so low.

The night fills me with blame. I see your face, tears through my brain.

I know I miss you so. I still love you, drives me insane.

Sleepwalk. Every night I just sleepwalk. Please come back, and when you walk inside the door, I will sleepwalk no more."

I immediately went to my computer set up and staring out my own little version of Sleepwalk. More of like a piano and violin cover, rather than guitar and drum. Once I had it to where I wanted the beat and rhythm, I pulled up my microphone and started singing away.

Danny's POV

This morning was the worst. I couldn't sleep at all, I've been up since 3:30 am. I guess I haven't really gotten used to sleeping by myself. Without y/n's body near mine, it's hard to even get tired. I do miss her. A lot actually. I know it was my idea to call off the relationship, but I was scared of what would happen if I didn't have enough time for her. I have game grumps, starbomb, and ninja sex party. She deserves someone who has all the time in the world to give her all the attention she deserves. When we told the fans, I didn't expect them to be so sad. I even lost a handful of fans because of it. She agreed, but I knew her better. She was on the verge of tears when she left. She was trying to be strong so I wouldn't see that side of her, but I know better than that. When she left I broke down. Gripped and clawed at my hair, cried on the edge of the bed, wondering if I had made the right choice. I big-huge part of me was telling myself I didn't.

My phone buzzes, and I see its a text from Arin.

When you get here I need to show you something.

Oh what fresh hell does he have to subject my eyes to. Last time he said that, I had to watch 12 Days Of Elves... Don't ask.

I finally arrived at the Grump Space. I see everyone in their usual area. Ryan and Matt at the computers, Ross and Barry in the kitchen making coffee, and the only other people here this early is Arin and me. Everyone else usually is a little late. "Thank god you're finally here. You haven't felt your phone buzzing?" I give him a confused look. "Other than you texting me, no. You know I have notifications turned off for my social media. What's going on?" He turns on the computer in front of us. "You should hear this before anything. I promise you, it's important." I roll my eyes. "This better not be some stupid shit, Arin!" I say with a light laugh. He shook his head, and I knew from the look in his eyes that this was in fact important.

Once the computer was fully on, he went to YouTube. Looking up y/n's name, I felt my stomach turn. Did she have a new boyfriend? Was she sick? Did she die?! I understand that last one is a bit of a long shot, but I tend to over think a lot.

A video was uploaded at 7:00 am this morning? "' sleepwalk? ' isn't that an old song?" I say confused. But I'm not all that surprised. She always did love the oldies. He nods his head. "She added her own lyrics and tune to it. And I think you should hear it." I nodded and put on some earphones, pushing play on the video. Her voices comes on, and it feels so amazing to hear her voice again. Even if it is just an intro in a YouTube video.

"Hello everyone. I had this idea for a song at like 3 in the morning. I couldn't sleep, so I made this. I hope you like it..."

The video fades to black and then it shows her at her little office space she has in her room. The music starts up, and at this point I notice her eyes. They're a little red and slightly puffy. She did a good job covering it up, but I've known her since senior year. She can't hide that from me.

She sings softly yet with so much passion and emotion. The lyrics sink in, and I know why Arin wanted to hear this. Its about me. I scroll down to look at the description and comments, and they all say things along the lines of 'I fucken sad now.' 'Wow, Danny really did a number on her' 'DANNY YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS SHIT!' 'This makes me so sad because she literally couldn't sleep thinking about him... Danny get your girl back!' 'Damn that made me tear up... '

After the video ended, I look at my phone. Y/n's face still smiles at me from behind the screen. I didn't want to change it, I couldn't do it. I felt several tears hit my leg, I didn't even realize i was crying. "Hey Dan, are you okay?" Arin puts his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "No... I'm not at all." I open up Twitter and see thousands of notifications to nsp and game grumps. All of which telling me to see what I just saw. I stood up slowly, feeling a little disappointed in myself. How could I let her walk out of my life so easily...?

Y/n's POV

After I posted the video, I decided I should really try to get some sleep. Especially since thousands of people will blow up my phone later on. Once in bed again, I tried to think of all the possibilities and outcomes of this. It could either go really well, or go really horribly bad. I guess we'll just have to see.

I wake up several hours later to my phone ringing. The sky is still a little bright to I assume it's not that late. 'Suzy <3' shines up at me. I smile, me and her always stayed quite close. "Hello?" I try to run the sleep out of my eyes. "Hey, are feeling okay? I heard your song, and I know it's about Dan. How are you, hun?"

It means a lot that she's not just calling about GET HIM BACK! She just wants to know if I'm okay. "Honestly? I feel so empty. Luckily today is just a lazy day so I don't have to adult today. But still.... I feel lost." I hear her sigh, "I know, y/n. It sucks. But you have me! And I'm way better than Danny!" She says jokingly. "Damn right you are! I'll call you a bit later when I'm more awake, okay?" We say our goodbyes and I sit up more in bed. I take a quick look at my notification bar and just as I expected, its blowin up. 'When will I stop being a pussy?' My thoughts we're interrupted by several rings of my doorbell.

Without looking through the peephole I open the door, only to see a certain curly haired man standing on my doorstep. "Danny? What are you doing here?" His eyes are glazed over and puffy as if he had just finished crying. He looked down. "I.... I heard your song. Was it... Was it about me? I'm sorry, I just need to know. I couldn't focus at all today during work. And on my way home, I just couldn't take it anymore. I have to know." My anxiety goes up a long shot. My eyes looking at everyone but him. "Y/n... I need to know." I slowly nod my head, still avoiding his eyes. "May I come in? I think we should talk.." I scoot to the side to let him in. "I'm sorry if I caused a lot of drama. I just thought... It would be better if I just made it into a song rather than.. Just telling you." I confessed. He grabbed my shoulders. "Don't be sorry, y/n. When we broke up, and you left. I broke down. I couldn't handle the fact that I just let you go.. I'm sorry."

"Then why did you do it? Why wait so fucking long to come to my house?! Why hurt me this bad, leaving me all alone when all I wanted was you! I hated knowing that YOU let me just walk out. And you looked like you... Like you didn't even give a shit..." I couldn't help it. I let all my emotions explode on him. "Why do you think I did?! Y/n, you deserve someone who has the time for you, who will give you all the attention in the world. Someone who will GIVE you the world! I want nothing more than to have you back again, but you don't deserve someone like me! I love with all my soul, hell, I'd give up everything for your dumbass! I didn't say anything till now because I thought you'd be mad, and I thought you'd moved on, hated me even!" He was standing pretty close to me by now. "Well no shit I'd be mad! You think I don't deserve you? Bullshit! You've already given me the world and more! Don't think that I don't understand about your job because I do the same fucking thing!!! I know it's hard, but I was willing to work even harder because I love you more than life itself! I deserve you just like you deserve me!" He rolled his eyes. "You're fucking gorgeous! You can have any man you want! What the hell is so special about me?" I got in his face once again, "because you are so much better than any other man I've met! We've known each other for YEARS and you think I'd just give all that up?! What kinda drugs are you on, Dan? Do you think I'm that fucken dumb? I haven't slept in weeks because it feels so horrible not having you next to me. That's some bullshit to say that I can have any man I want. I want YOU, dipshit!" I couldn't help it, I fell to my knees, shaking from trying to hold back tears. How he say that I didn't deserve him? He was my world, he still is my world. Nothing will change that.

He walks to me, and sits on the floor with me. I feel his arms wrap around me, and I lean into his chest. "I'm sorry.. I loved you more than anything. I still do. Can you please give me another chance..? Now, I won't ever think you don't deserve me. I won't think anything like that. You mean the world to me, y/n. Please don't forget that." I look up at him, seeing his eyes filled with new tears. "Well duh, how can i say no to this face?" I grab his cheeks and smush them together and laugh. "I love you too, Danny." He smiled and leaned in and gave me a much needed kiss.

[rage-against-the-meyer]

Breaking Dawn (2008)

So, I've reviewed the other Twilight Saga books already, but I promiss you, this is gonna be the worst one yet. I must admit, as a 13-year-old girl this was my favorite book (don't kill me yet). I was growing up in a Dutch small Christian town that had had a big infuence on my views. In my mind, it was perfectly logical that the story ends with a child against all odd. As a grown-up Biomedical scientist, this does not go anymore. As such, I now view Breaking Dawm as the absolute worst one yet and here, I will tell you exactly why.

Breaking Dawn is a big fat book that consists of three different books. I will discuss the books seperately in fear that it might be too much otherwise.

Part I from Bella's point of view

It's no surprise that I actually do like this book. We get 6 chapters of sheer happiness and joy. Very much Edward/Bella intimacy and they finally have sex (woohoo). So what can I bitch about?

Well, actually not too much. I loved the wedding, the secret goodbyes (yes, I cried). I just believe that after the first 6 chapters Bella should have struggled with the decission to change instead of the pregnancy. Yes, Chapter 7 is the cursed chapter for me. It's the onset of all pending misery. Also, it is the first time that menstruations are mentioned and the weak excuse SM gave to explain the never-having-killed-her-due-to-smelling-period-blood on Edwards part is just that, weak. So, all-in-all, I hated this chapter but what comes after is exceedingly worse.

Part II from Jacob's point of view

I hate Jacob. That much hasn't changed. I hated the cold Jacob that is so prominent here very very much. Personal sun my ass. I have always loathed this POV but it offers us some interesting views on the wolves and the Quileute people. It was good to see the communication between the wolves, but it was also nonsense. The big difference between you can't hide what you think and thinking in directed full sentences became a blurry line that never really made sense to me. What was good about it, is that we saw how pure Seth's mind is and how deeply hurt and actually good Leah is. Seth, a mere teenager, is objectively one of the purest characters I have ever read and that's on that. The faint influence of the coming Gen Z was shimmering through in his defiance of made boundaries in communication: Seth saw the good in the Cullens and defied his tribes prejudice. Good for him. Leah, of course, is one of the most denied characters in the series. Such a fierce young woman that has suffered so much is the only character that does not get redemption. It is absolutely outrageous and I agree with many that it shows SMs prejudice against women of colour. She gets literally nothing. She stands on her own in a group of men that mock her for her guard as she has to suffer through knowing her ex's love for his new love. Then, of course, she cannot have children and she gets no love interests. To through all these (in SMs mind) limitations only at one of the few POC is not great. I do like the fact that Leah and Jacob become closer and that Leah cares most for Seth. It's not enough, though. Leah should have gotten the trip to go to college somewhere far away, paid for by the Cullens out of sheer gratitude. She should have everything and all but through Bella's (read: SMs) mind she is still depicted as sad, lonely and bitter. To show a woman's anger like that is straight up misogynistic. Great start.

Jacob's story skips so many valuable parts of Bella's story, which we have been focussing on until now, and it makes so little sense that Jacob would be there for all the important interactions.

In Jacob's part, some shocking facts become clear. As a biomedical scientist, I have been holding back the outrageousness of this one: the chromosomes.

Vampires are frozen in time; after the change, their bodies don't change anymore. They also don't grow new or longer hairs, new teeth, anything. They are frozen in time. Curiously, they still have a need to feed (blood) and their consumption influences four things: their thirst, the colour of their eyes, their strength and their behaviour. I will tell you why this makes absolutely no sense. In humans, we feed for much the same reasons: we don't get hungry, we stay alive, become stronger and we are nicer when we aren'r hungry. This influence is exerted by the distribution of food molecules throughout the body; to the brain, to the muscles, the organs, you name it. Vampires don't have blood, their distribution of food molecules would be so slow that it would take days if not weeks for the molecules to get to the eyes or the brain. We know vampires aren't mushy inside to increase the distribution so how does it work? It eludes me, I'll tell you. Also, every part of the vampire body is supposed to be solid. Where does the liqud from the blood go? A human averagely holds 5 litres of blood. That is a lot. And since the body doesn't change, where does the liquid go? Aside from the distribution, it makes even less sense that any of these factors should be influenced by anything at all. It is likely that vampires still have cells, their bodies still need to create impulses, movements, talk etc. But their bodies don't changes anymore, so after the change the cells stop producing hair molecules? Why don't the hairs drop anymore? It is so dumb that SM suggested a certain balance between the actiond that continue and actions that don't. We still move the muscles but they can't grow anymore but the cells in the muscle stay active?? This brings me to the chromosomes.

So, Carlisle has tested human, vampire and werewolf (without consent) blood. He found that vampires have 25 chromosome pairs, werewolves 24 and humans 23 chromosome pairs. His findings and his tone suggest that he attributes all the vampire qualities to the 2 extra chromosomes. Now, with everything that I have just explained, I see no possiblity behind that. The venom of a vampire just adds two pairs of chromosomes to your cells? One from your mother and one from your dad? And then, these chromosomes are able to pinpoint exactly with genes to silence and which to activate and that is enough to make your skin hard as granite? No way. The body makes strong pieces, but still the strongest is the teeth. Strong but not as strong as SM thinks.

All-in-all this science is straight up the biggest fucking bullshit I have ever seen. There is just no logic behind the logic SM gave. It doesn't stop here, though. No. I am 100% convinced that SM has not had any sex talk ever in her life. She started with Edward's 100-year-old sperm being vital enough to produce a baby. This sperm is saved at approxomately the temperature of a rock/as cold as ice. This is far far far too high a temperature to preserve sperm cells for long, let alone a 100 years. So, No. No, again. Then, Edward's dick is magically able to get hard without any liquids in the body? No. And THEN, his human sperm cells (human but also vampire?) are able to make a zygote with Bella's egg cell??? A zygote with 24 (!!!) chromosome pairs???? So, it's one of each of Bella's, one of each of Edward's and then just one of the two vampire pairs?????? No. Nah-ah.

I haven't been this vocal about any of my other issues, including racism and other forms of discrimination. Somehow, I have accepted that these concepts come from very well-preserved ideas and I can plainly discuss this matter. However, the pain Stephenie Meyer has put me through as a scientist is still very unknown to me and it annoys me to the core.

I suppose, while I'm on the matter, I should address the elephant in the room. Resumé. Renesue is the embodiment of everything Bella didn't need. The book should have ended before the pregnancy. A story of a woman that found a love in a vampire and she needed nothing else in her life but him. This was the story we were promissed. And then, SM takes her turn to make the last non-conservative woman in the book a mother (her being a mother will come later).

In conclusion, this part stretched every nerve in my body and made me cringe so hard I felt sick.

Part III from Bella's point of view

I'm not gonna lie, I have been pretty dark about the last part. But I LOVE Bella as a vampire. The tranquil chapters where she learns everything about being a vampire made me confident I wanted to be one. I loved Bella more confident and comfortable. I loved the new ease between Bella and Edward. Tranquil, as I said.

Of course, these chapters are overshadowed in part by Rususme. I don't mind the child. It seems nice enough - SM made it pure. But Bella is not a very caring mother. She meets her daugther and then, both Edward and her really don't mind her. They have no urge to be with her and have no trouble letting her go. They go have sex the whole night instead of looking at Relsume's dreams. Then, there is the fact that all tense and loaden discussions are held in the presence of the exceptionally perceiving child. Edward can SEE that she understands tensions. It's so fucking dumb. It really bothered me the last time I read it, maybe because I've matured or maybe because I didn't really care the first time.

When it comes to the final battle approaching, I enjoyed that. I loved Alice's plan. I like the Volturi and their grand dramatic scheming and such. I loved the new characters very much. I think they added a whole new demension to the story. I would have been there for Edward and Bella traveling around the world meeting these people with the oncoming thread of genocide for a child as well though. Of course, the racism is back. The Amazonian and Egyptian vampires are so blatantly racistly described. In that aspect, the movie deserves way more credit for giving us the straight up prettiest actors ever to cover this.

Wrongness continues as Jacob imprints (as the second wolf) in an infant. I know some people see no issue with this. SM tried to make it clear that it was just about her happiness by letting Edward see that Jacob wasn't thinking sexually about his equivalent-of-a-three-year-old child. I mean. Looking at this logically, it's disgusting and there is no changing my mind. Personally, I feel Jacob could have imprinted on any other female character (with the exception of Leah). For all I care it was a 35-year-old woman. But, reversed pedophilia (Jacob was still underage) isn't fun for SM so she sticks with what she knows.

I think I have adressed my most important issues. Please inform me if I've missed any. As usual, I urge you to inform yourself on the Quileut Tribe as it is and donate to them for SM has wronged and exploited them.

The Quileute Tribe

Information:

Donation:

TLDR: I curse Stephenie Meyer for creating that incredibly stupid child as a way to project Jacob's love to something of Bella. Please inform yourself on the Quileute Tribe and donate to them via the links above; SM has wronged them.

As a final note, I am a biomedical scientist at heart. I am always interested in a challenging topic, so fire away.

[edwardnashtons]

Dude, I'm so tired. I haven't made a single posts on the Nygmobblepot drama and going in the tag atm is just awful because there's invalidation of survivors and lgbt peoples feelings on every page. These people are so self-centered and intent on making spiteful posts that they don't even consider the possibility they're hurting survivors and lgbt people who aren't even involved in the fandom drama.

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Everyone who was upset about the interview wanted to keep it to their own blogs and support groups, and some people saw what we were discussing and just... Blew their top. Worst of all, they tagged their responses, so the drama started spreading outside of our blogs where we were trying to keep it contained and help one another out.

I don’t know why our feelings made people so upset, or why they feel such a strong need to not only voice how much they disagree, but also tag it. I will never understand how hateful people can be to people who are hurt and upset, and this whole thing has been absolutely shocking to me.

I am so sorry you were dragged into this awfulness. But it seems like everyone has an opinion about how we were feeling, and why we shouldn’t have felt the way we did.

I am so sorry you were hurt by this drama even though you were minding your own business. I personally have made no original posts of my own on the subject, but I’ve been responding to a lot of asks people have sent me, like this one. Yet still people have felt the need to come on to my blog when I have tagged absolutely nothing and tell me exactly how wrong my feelings have been. Like I can control the way something makes me feel.

It’s awful. The whole situation is just awful. And if the interview didn’t hurt people enough, now they have to deal with the fandom telling them they are “taking things out of context, “whining”, “overreacting”, “entitled” and so much more.

Not only that, but it’s been two days and I still see people posting about it, and the only anons I've gotten are ones like you who are responding to the things they are continuing to post. There’s been no more discussion of it on our part since day one, but the responses keep coming.

I saw someone say, “Why are you still in the fandom if you just want to be miserable?” Why are they still going on about this? I’ve already written one fic and I’m posting another tonight, I’m moving on. I’m going back to what I was doing before. We just wanted to be sad and support each other for a day. And we couldn’t even have that. Lesson learned. Never have feelings on tumblr because someone will be waiting in the wings to tell you that you aren’t allowed.

To all the survivors and lgbt people who aren't even involved in the fandom drama: I’m sorry that this is hurting you. I wish I could have kept these people from getting wind of our private feelings and discussion but that’s the internet for you. For you to be dragged into this is completely unfair. If you want to talk, I’m here for you, and if you want to keep from getting hate you can private message me as well, or send me an ask and request that I do not post it.

Let’s support one another and be strong together like we were attempting to before these hateful people invaded our support groups. We will not let them ruin this for us. I’m going to continue making content and creating for this fandom despite the horrible things that were said. We can get through this.