#having to SACRIFICE your own individual needs... you dont have to lose yourself....

[allgremlinyaps]

"Aang's arc and his actions in the finale were about him choosing attachment over his duty." Well, almost. But no. Because he very much did do his duty. Saved the world, stopped Ozai, restored balance, etc etc. He just did so in a way that did not sacrifice his attachments - to his culture or to his sense of self.

[houseki-no-suffering]

on ch 82 and what the hell is the deal with phos

super long wall of words ahead, you've been warned. also, im not qualified to discuss the emotional effects of trauma, so please correct me where im wrong and don’t hesitate to add on this post

contains an analysis of phos’ character arc, explanation on why and how they snapped and what might happen to our child next:

1. genki phos 2. post winter phos 3. laphos 4. on trauma 5. on snapping 6. speculations about the future

so, first things first, I could not help but notice the sheer number of parallels between this chapter and other significant points of the story. it seems to me that parallels are becoming more and more frequent as the moon arc goes on, and that’s not just because there are simply more chapters to draw parallels from as the story grows in size.

I believe that we’re at a turning point in the story, or even that the turning point has been reached, (aechmea telling barbata to fix phos for the umpteenth time is most likely going to give phos the last treasure, but ill get to it).

so, to try and understand what in the seven hells is going on with our baby at this point (the fandom collectively adopted phos since chapter 2, sign the papers if you haven’t already and donate to the fund to send phos to therapy) let’s retrace phos’ character journey.

1: genki phos

the phos who is too good for this world, too pure, the cinnamon roll who has no idea what the hell is gonna happen to them. oh joy.

hnk sets off as a coming of age story. phos is the youngest, they’re seemingly useless in a society that values usefulness above anything else so genki phos is initially driven by lack of purpose.

i’ve speculated already on the characteristics of the lustrous society, a society that emphasizes sameness over difference and that has no place for outcasts like phos and cinnabar. your value, in lustrous society, is dictated by how much and in which way you can contribute to the survival of the species, with elite fighters (the diamonds) being at the apex of the social pyramid and everyone else coming after.

additionally, while gems live in a highly interdependent and close-knitted society, such interdependence never takes into account emotions, loss, imagination, introspection and free-thinking. the society is extremely practical, apathetic, immobile, and everyone is expected to conform to that.

think about antarc: they’re the poster child of lustrous society: a 3 mohs hardness gem who managed to become an elite fighter out of sheer willpower, who’s blindly loyal to sensei, who sacrifices themselves for the greater good (the group’s interests > the individual’s interests), that does little if any introspection and that is happy about all of this and wants to leave it this way.  

phos isn’t like this at all.

since the very beginning of the series we learn that phos is an anomaly. and that’s okay, other gems have been anomalies, like padparadscha, cinnabar, even antarcticite, but while those gems found a way to tip toe to the margins of lustrous society to remain unobtrusive exceptions, or forge themselves into proper, useful members of the group, phos cannot do that. which is ironic, because we know that one of phos’ core characteristics is that they’re able to change and to bring about change in a world that is as immobile and still and stiff as… well.. rock.

like @ruddy-rutile​ pointed out in a past analysis, phos’ problem wasn’t so much that they didn’t fit in, but that they didn’t fit in the appropriate way: they’re emotional, they’re loud, they’re unreliable, they’re not apathetic. they’re kind. compassionate. imaginative. and imagination is something the other gems lack.

this fuels a deep sense of self-hatred that even at this early stages of the story is lying just beneath the surface and oozes out quite easily, like when phos wants to help ventricosus and mumbles that it’s no problem if they die in the attempt, they’re a good for nothing after all, what difference would it make if they dont come back. at least they were able to help someone, contrary to how they were unable to help cinnabar.

this is the leitmotif of the series: phos is a kind, selfless gem who cultivates a deep sense of self-hatred. the internalized pressure and need to feel useful turns into a necessity for change. they need to save cinnabar, they need to save ventricosus, they need to become a fighter, they need to help sensei.

contrary to most of the other gems, phos loves and loves openly and unconditionally, they’re self-less by nature and that selflessness is a barrier that hides the real reason theyre so ready to put their life on the line for other people: the fact that phos thinks that their own life isnt wort a scrap.

as someone who believes to be worthless, guided by shame and guilt just for being alive and fueled by a deep desire to feel loved and accepted (just like a child), phos is unable to cope with grief and emotion if not by guilt tripping themselves even further.

the fact that the amethysts were almost taken is their fault, the fact that cinnabar is suicidal is their fault, the fact that antarc was taken is their fault, same with ghost’s abduction. the only way phos knows to cope with this guilt is by doing what every other gem does: bury these feelings deep inside their head and throw themselves into work. be useful, like alexandrite, rutile or red beryl.

2. post winter phos

what was a story about purpose, about phos’ coming of age, reaches an end at this very point, with antarc’s death. phos has become stronger at this point of the story, they have agathe legs and gold arms and they have grief to cope with, trauma.

just like alex’s job is studying the enemy and red’s job is making clothes, phos’ job is the one they originally desired for themselves: to fight. because there is nothing as valued as a good fighter in gem society and probably young phos unconsciously hoped to overcome self-hatred by taking on the most useful job there is.

post winter antarc is a skilled soldier, so skilled that bort wants to pair up with them. phos has reached their old goal: through loss and maturity, now they have a place within their society, they’re accepted and appreciated, valued but not loved. because these gems are so, so bad at emotions.

and this is where ms ichikawa begins to fool us all. she had us think that this story would be simple, but now hnk starts its steep and unrelenting detour toward existentialism and phos begins their dance toward madness and bottomless grief.

post winter phos is a soldier, they can fight off lunarians, but theyre still blaming themselves for antarc’s death.

we already said that phos is a very emotional gem and they possess a fervid imagination (probably just like lapis). so what do they do? they start thinking. “maybe i can retrieve antarc if we collect enough pieces. if i can communicate with the lunarians. if i can understand why we’re fighting.”

thinking quickly turns into questioning: why are we fighting? why are we so weak? why am i different? what changed me? is it the new additions, is it just life experiences? can we change? how can we change? antarc told me i shouldnt shy away from life, so im gonna push myself further and further.

that’s when shiro’s arc happens and sensei seems to know something about it, something he won’t tell the gems. phos’ questions suddenly turn to him.

phos is pretty much paranoid at this point of the narrative: they have experienced loss for the first time. consumed by guilt and grief for antarc’s recent abduction (even if phos still doesnt know what death means, we’ll get to that in a while), phos cannot think straight. they can’t be questioning the one authority every gem recognizes, the person phos and everyone else wants to protect, their leader, father, teacher.

phos feels like scum just for even thinking about it, as loyal and young as they are. and yet once you start questioning one minuscule thing about the way you have always lived your life, more and more will follow. it’s a cascade effect and it becomes faster the higher the number of questions, until you’re left with nothing but doubts and you must take into your hands the responsibility to find out for yourself.

this is more or less what happens to phos. they feel awful for doubting sensei the first time, in chapter 27, so they spill their guts to cinnabar, confessing their sins. but what cinnabar says does anything but put phos at ease: of course phos is doubting sensei: he’s shady, everyone knows.

however, while cinnabar is a quiet outcast, extremely prudent (and cowardly if you want) in the way they decide to face life, phos is the total opposite. they just needed a little nudge, they were already on the edge of a cliff of doubts and existential fears. cinnabar’s words are the second, big step that sets phos off on their path to the moon.  

chapter 28 is when we see phos self-destructing because of this inner conflict for the first time, a pattern that will be repeated again and again the more phos loses sight of the truth, of a reliable something, a goal to cling onto and find direction.

it is ironic, because phos becomes a direction, a goal, the gems and the moon people’s hope (ch 59 and 72), but in doing so they have no hope left for themselves. let’s not forget that phos is very young by gems’ standards, not to mention in comparison to the moon people. how fair is to expect from a traumatized child to save the world and find answers to questions that run thousands of years deep and give phos nothing in return?

the pressure is enough to break phos and it does, quite literally, over and over and over again.

3. Laphos

lapis’ head comes at a time when phos was literally no longer able to manage this pressure.

it brings a waft of fresh air, it brings what emotional, kind phos needed to detach themselves from grief: coldness, rationality. and yet, it takes something away from phos as well: laphos is the phos that can no longer talk with cinnabar, the phos that brings cairn to reject the gems altogether and launch themselves into their kin’s killer’s arms. laphos is the gems and lunarians’ hope for a brief time, then it becomes the enemy.

i find it interesting how phos feels responsible for goshe and morga’s abduction too, even if phos was unconscious when it happened. phos has no clear boundaries between themselves and the rest of the world. they feel responsible for everything and guilty for everything. whatever they do will never be enough neither to make up for their past mistakes nor to find everyone a clear sense of purpose, safety, truth.

ichikawa plays with truth a lot. truth is that the lunarians are bad people and the gems must defend themselves, truth is that sensei is shady, truth is that the moon people are actually good, truth is that death is real, truth is that sensei is evil, truth is that cinnabar hates phos, truth is that the gems are evil, truth is that sensei is the only one that loves phos. who knows what the next truth will be, but can you call it truth, at this point?

if there is one point, i believe, that ichikawa is trying to make clear is that truth is subjective and that it changes, just like phos’ goal, the more knowledge you acquire and the more mistakes you make. truth is subjective but it must be sought after: you gotta keep fighting, you gotta move on even if you keep making mistakes, even if you cant undo your actions.

and another thing i think she’s trying to say is that you cannot make it alone. the moment phos tried to take it all on their shoulders, they moment they acquired lapis’ head, is the moment everything came crumbling down ten times faster than before.

and the most ironic part is that phos is still kind, even underneath that mantle of aloofness: they tried to do everything by themselves because they didn’t want to put anyone in danger, but in doing so they manipulated the gems just like aechmea. and aechmea knows and he’s been using phos for this.

4. Even more trauma

running after truth and after newer and more nuanced goals, phos has completely lost sight of themselves.

where do their alliances lie? what about their history? phos wakes up in ch 72 after the night raid and immediately breaks into pieces because they’re reminded of how cinnabar attacked them, the one gem they thought was their friend. one of the few truths phos had been clinging to.

phos wakes up after the night raid and asks the enemy “to the lunarians i look like a gem and to the gems i look like a lunarian. what am i?”

they break into pieces because they still believe they’re useless. they couldn't save cinnabar, they couldn't save antarc, they couldn't communicate with the earth gems, they couldn't even see adamant.

this is reminiscent of the very beginning of the manga: phos needs to feel useful, they need a goal, they need to be good at something. and just like they were ready to get lost at sea forever to help ventricosus they’re ready to die for someone else’s cause (not even phos’ own because they have no idea what to believe in at this point) just to be of use. after all, to phos, phos is nothing more than a scrap.

euc disagrees. ch 71 “we need you in our future” is a sentence that phos has probably ached to hear for centuries. “we need you. you are loved, you mean something, you are enough. you belong. we cannot build a future where you aren’t part of the equation. you matter”

and look at the way phos looks at euc. they can barely believe them and in fact they don’t. phos expresses some concern about dying (”after all, those less than 5 includes me”) but they still throw themselves into danger, they still take no care of themselves.

Phos’ self hatred and self-destructive tendencies run deeper than euc’s words could ever cut. those words meant well, but they were too little too late. phos thinks they don’t deserve this kind of hope, they  cannot understand it, cannot fathom a world in which they are true and so they will go on believing that they are alone and worthless. next time they go on earth, they’ll go alone and unharmed

it is ironic. they did so much, they went to the moon and back multiple times, put their life on the line multiple times, made more progress toward unveiling the truth about the lunarians and finding a way for them to be free of samsara than anyone else did in hundreds (presumably) of thousands of years. they did it by themselves. in barely three hundred years. that’s impressive. and yet it’s not enough for phos. in their mind, they just keep failing.

so what’s the big deal? they can sacrifice themselves, it’s the least they can do and no one will miss them after all. unfortunately, this is true, at least to some extent.

im appalled by how little even the moon gems care about phos. they’re so self-centered it’s almost funny.

even alex, who has gone through loss and grief if not as much at least in a way similar to phos cannot find enough compassion in themselves to be concerned about phos’ wellbeing after a few months on the moon.

ive heard people mention how this could be a result of the moon people injecting who knows what into the gems or manipulating them someway or another, but i believe that there was no need to. phos is an anomaly after all, their kindness is an anomaly. the lustrous are little more than self-centered children: they are able of little if no introspection and they cannot process complex emotions like grief if not by shutting off those emotions altogether.

the moon gems are still vaguely concerned about phos. in ch 76, when phos departs for earth for the last time, they do tell them to be careful and come back if things get bad, but they do little more than that. it’s little comfort and too little emotional closeness and by no means close to the huge amount of support and (emotional) assistance that phos needs at this point.

phos tries to make do with what they have: a will to end this war and the superficial words of what should be their family, but it’s not even remotely enough. and yet phos, just like any other lustrous, is very bad at introspection: they don’t notice or if they notice they repress it. what’s one more thing down the subconscious after all? it’s fine. phos can take it, until they can no more and they snap without having any idea that they will snap.

phos’ journey, which has made them increasingly more emotional, fragile and human (the last one quite literally) has also made phos even more alone than they were at the beginning of the story. more alone, with the same sense of worthlessness, the same urgency to be good for something or self-destroy, and so much more grief, trauma, guilt and repressed emotions.

5. snapping

“I mustn’t think of anything” phos reminds themselves in ch 76. because thinking never brought anything good and because euc would see right through it. 

once again, phos is repressing emotions. here they go, trying to be a cold blooded killer, ready to betray sensei again, the one person who has been good to them and that phos tried to hate with all their heart but just couldnt.

as ive written in a previous analysis, one of aechmea’s lowest blows was to tell the gems he was exploiting and manipulating to reach a salvation he doesnt deserve that if the gems want to acquire freedom they must do so by themselves. talk about coherence. 

but that isnt all, he sinks even lower than this: he makes phos and the others question sensei’s affection for them. he says that sensei’s love is fake, it’s synthetic, the gems should totally make him pray or destroy him, no remorse, no strings attached. it’s such a dirty move.

no wonder it confuses phos even more. phos believes it, or tries to, they say they want to break sensei into pieces, but after the night raid they realize that it cant be that simple. sensei never attacked them. he has always been good to phos. and phos feels even more worthless, more of a traitor for daring believe in love, in sensei’s affection, when here they are, on the lunarians’ side, ready to betray him again. 

how dare phos hope for anything? they dont deserve love, they dont deserve hope, they dont deserve happiness. they can try to give it to other people, they’ll kill themselves in order to do so, but they have no more hope and no love left for themselves, and they had so little to begin with.

as ive said, phos has little self-awareness and little introspection. i do believe that they had no idea they were going to snap until they did. even in ch 77, when sensei tells them he cannot pray, phos spends their last seconds of consciousness (before being attacked by all of the gems) to kindly ask him to pray. they dont care about themselves, but they dont reflect long enough to consider that reaching out to sensei like that could be interpreted as hostile by the paranoid earth gems. i think this is the first sign that phos is about to snap: they’re quite literally desperate.

tired beyond measure and forced to spend 220 more years in isolation, broken into pieces scattered all over the island, when phos comes to their senses again once kongo reassembles them they’re beyond despair. this war is taking the last toll on them and phos has no more energy to go on.

“please,” they say “pray. do it for no one else but me. grant me mercy,” from one bodhisattva to the other. they’re still somewhat normal, but when sensei fails to pray again phos can’t take it anymore. desperation and rage, fueled by hopelessness, worthlessness, grief and exhaustion make phos launch themselves against sensei, which, ironically, it’s exactly what the story needs.

apparently, phos is human enough to activate sensei but not human enough to make him pray. however, when the two of them join hands, sensei can actually pray. maybe it’s because both phos and sensei are intended to be bodhisattva? maybe because human voice commands are not as strong as contact? i have no idea.

phos has snapped by the way, and it’s weird how they go from “If only you weren’t here” to “sensei actually loves me” in a couple of chapters. in a certain way, we’re seeing phos going back to their roots: they love sensei and trust in sensei’s love, they’re once again openly emotional and impulsive, they’re once again ostracized by the gems (of course, much more violently this time).

i have written about how, after ‘fusing’ with sensei for a brief second, phos doesnt speak for the entirety of ch 81. they look and act like a literal monster, a scared animal, which is ironic since we know that they’re now human. i hypothesized that they might be reborn and that’s why they don’t speak, they’re a literal infant, but in light of ch 82, i think they’re simply hurt beyond measure. 

they reversed to their old emotional persona, vomiting out all the emotions and pain and rage and hate they repressed during these 300 years. and yet they still don’t hurt anyone, not as much and as deliberately as they could at least.

they’re conscious enough to recognize the notebook and be reminded of their lost friends, realize how little the earth gems care for phos and for what they’re doing. and, i believe, when phos is rescued and comes back to the moon, they are, for the first time in the whole manga, enraged by the earth gems’ stupidity and sheer ungratefulness.

phos has been fighting for the wellbeing of everyone for centuries, putting their life on the line, never asking for anything in return and always believing that they were doing the right thing. and yet it’s not enough.

aechmea is a clever politician, and like every good politician he’s good at picking up changes and turning them in his favor. 

he notices that there’s something wrong with phos and with the way they feel about the gems. maybe he doesnt yet realize that phos is angry at them for being ungrateful, but he senses something so he provokes phos: “you said to leave you on earth last time. did you change your mind?” that is “i’m not your enemy. see? im doing what you want me to do. not quite like those people down there on earth. oh, wait, were those your friends? aw, such a pity. to think they attacked you after everything you’ve done for them. but they’re your family, right? i’ll send you back to them if this is what you want. see? i’ll listen to your wishes. i am grateful.”

look how intently he looks at phos as phos incoherently and obsessively repeats the same thing over and over: “he would have prayed. he would have prayed for me. he loves me. he would have prayed.” if you want, this is also a syìubtle way for phos to apologize: they still feel responsible for their failure, but aechmea must understand: phos did everything they could, it would have worked, it was the gems’ fault.

adamant put phos back together, showing phos that he still cares. he is the only one that loves phos, while the gems (all gems, phos doesnt care much for differences at this point) keep hurting phos even if phos is only trying to help. so they must be killed. to hell with them all. and, notice, phos doesnt include themselves in the ‘gem’ category: they’re no longer a lustrous. they’re a monster, a liminal creature.

with nothing left to believe in if not sensei’s love and a promise to make him pray and then die in peace, phos wants to destroy the only thing that they believe stands between them and finally being useful, but also between them and freedom (freedom from suffering, from guilt, from existing, from their pain, from being): the gems.

this isn’t the first time that phos wants to kill something: in ch 68 they spoke about crushing sensei to pieces. it’s heartbreaking how phos went from “if only the moon people weren’t here” to “if only sensei weren’t here” to “if only the gems weren’t here.” will it turn into: “if only i weren’t here?” who are phos’ allies? who does phos feel kinship with? who is phos? they no longer know, and they’ve not known for a long time.

aechmea has noticed and he’s quick to turn the situation to his advantage. he shakes phos’ hand, he’ll grant them freedom just like phos will grant the lunarians’ freedom. he’ll forgive phos for failing, for their sins, for the bottomless despair and guilt that phos has been living with for centuries. salvation, hope, that is all phos needs.

as @rinboz pointed out, phos’ gold in ch 82 takes the shape of a lotus seed pod, a direct reference to when antarc was abducted and the gold had turned into a lotus flower. 

through pain, phos had blossomed into a new character that day, marking the beginning of their long journey toward truth and toward discovering that there is no truth. the day the story changed from a coming of age manga to something much, much more intricate.

phos’ pod is empty, they have nothing left to lose, it’s a dead flower. this is the end of the journey that started with antarc’s abduction. when phos wakes up again, it will probably be with new memories and a new addition to their body, possibly red diamond. 

phos’ self destruction has reached its apex because it finally became so intense to extend outwards, to other people that, in their immense grief, phos wants to bring down with them. this might be a minuscule form of progress: anger is better than repressing emotions at least, but phos’ problems are far from being solved.

6. on the future

what will be of phos then? it really depends.

the fact that they’re finally showing all that sufferance and those emotions they tried so hard to repress is good, but aechmea is still there to take advantage of it. 

phos will never be free as long as they dont associate themselves with someone that truly loves them and as long as they cant find someone that can help them deal with their emotions. aechmea is just using them and only ichikawa knows what he meant when he told barbata to be careful with those 200 years emotions.

theoretically, phos was unconscious during the timelapse, but if there are emotions to treat carefully maybe they weren’t? maybe the change we’ve seen in phos this chapter depends on what they had to endure during that time. or maybe aechmea simply wants to make sure that his pet is easy to use.

i do believe we’re close to the end. i dont know if it will be the end of the series or just the end of phos as we know them. i could hope for something good to finally happen to them and for them to heal, but it would take a therapist or someone that loves phos. 

maybe euclase could side up with sensei, they seemed the most concerned about phos’ status and the most prone to believe them. maybe goshe and cicada could do something again, maybe rutile will fix padpa once more and padpa will talk with the earth gems (not very likely, but im throwing theories left and right at this point), or maybe barbata will refuse to follow aechmea’s instructions, at least in part, and try to help phos.

as always, im afraid we’ll have to wait. in the meantime, please hug phos. if you read up to this point hug phos. hug them now and shower them with love, because no one else will

[popatochisssp]

So your recent chapter in snips and snails has had me thinking. How would other skellies react if their bro started falling for their SO? Would they all be up for polyamory or would some tell their bro to get over it, or they break up with SO as to push them toward their brother. This information is important for my daydreaming

Anonymous: Heyo! Are you doing hc’s right now? If so, what are your ideas for a polyamorous relationship with sans/so/papyrus? I know you mentioned it with FGTC, but how would the other boys do? Thank you and ilysm!!             

Well, the short version of these questions seems to be– “Can I make it work if I want to smooch both brothers?”

And the answer to that question as far as I’m concerned is yes! Ultimately, all skeles would be down for this kind of relationship!

…But some of them are going to have an easier road than others.

Yes, it’s the ‘fells that are on the Struggle Bus, of course it is, those boys have issues.

Undertale:

They’re a great combo!

They already know each other so well and love/respect one another that looping you into their relationship as a romantic branch is the easiest thing in the world.

They both balance the other out really well, to the point that dating them both might even make for a more harmonious relationship than choosing just one: Papyrus won’t shy away from lecturing Sans when his laziness may be letting you down, and Sans knows how to gently point out when Papyrus might be unintentionally talking over you or pushing too hard at something.

There’s no jealousy between them and you’re all grown, mature adults more than capable of navigating a three-person relationship.

Underswap:

Another great choice!

Much like the classic Sans-Papyrus pair, the Sky-Paps match-up isn’t just functional, it’s hyper-functional.

Their brotherly relationship is strong and they’re great at meeting and handling situations as a team, and you’re no different. Most of your time with them will be spent as a trio rather than duos with an odd man out since that’s what they do anyway– you’re just along for the ride! When one-on-one time does come around, they’ll pass you off to the other without hesitation, no jealousy to be found and just a nuzzle on your cheek and an encouragement to have fun.

Even the usually clingy Sky doesn’t mind giving you and Paps space when you want it since there’s no one he trusts and loves more than his (big) little brother, and Paps might actually feel a little more driven to impress and woo you when he sees the lengths Sky regularly goes to. Maybe he can’t one-up his big brother’s efforts, but it reminds him that you’re special and deserving of the attention and he’ll show you so in his own, more understated way.

They balance each other out in so many ways that it won’t ever feel like you’re trying to juggle them to make things work. As long as you love them, they’ll love you right back and your relationship is practically self-sustaining!

Underfell:

You must not be shy of challenges, because you’ve gotten yourself into some rocky waters with this one.

They’ll both agree to this pretty quickly without much fuss– sharing a datemate with their brother, the only person who always had their back underground and would die for them, and vice versa? Of course, there’s no one they’d rather trust you with than their own brother!

They say that, and for the most part they do mean it, but… there are some very well-buried landmines here and you will find at least one of them in the course of this relationship.

For Jasper, it’s bitterness: here’s yet another thing in his life that he’s giving up for his brother’s sake. It’s not Pyre he resents but the situation and how exceedingly unfair the circumstances of his life have been so far. He lost his childhood to raising and protecting Pyre while he was young, and then he had to play his toady and listen to barked orders and snapped insults so Pyre could maintain a fearsome reputation and neither of them would get too severely messed with. And then now here’s this, a datemate he can’t even keep all to himself because you love his baby brother, too. It stings, but he’ll try to quash it down since he loves you and Pyre too deeply to ever want to cause problems for you.

Meanwhile Pyre is masking his own issues, namely jealous insecurity. He loves Jasper, too, and he deeply respects the sacrifices his big brother made for him Underground both in adolescence and adulthood, but…well, it’s not as if he had it easy! Jasper’s initially low HP meant that no matter how strong a fighter he was, there’d always be somebody who saw him as easy EXP, somebody trying to kill them both because they could– that was why he worked his way up to Captain of the Royal Guard and trained so hard to become an efficient, deadly soldier, so that he could be intimidating enough that most monsters wouldn’t even want to try attacking him or somebody under his command. That’s why he had to distance himself from everyone else, even the brother he was trying to protect, just in case someone tried to take advantage of a social connection. He was completely emotionally isolated for a long time, with a lot weighing on his shoulders: his duties, his brother’s safety, his own safety, and Jasper…

Jasper didn’t have to shoulder any of that once Pyre took responsibility.

Pyre knows, intellectually, that Jasper suffered at least as bad for a long time, but emotionally it hurt and made Pyre a little angry to see him socializing freely with the lowlifes at Grillby’s and sleeping openly at his illegal hot-dog stands. Jasper couldn’t have been totally carefree, no one could be underground, but he had the luxury of being very close to it thanks to Pyre’s status, which Pyre maintained at his own expense. And now, it feels like Jasper is taking advantage of him again, casually charming his way into your good graces and seducing you away from him.

He’s fairly certain he’s going to lose you, actually, since he knows that his older brother is the more personable of the two of them and he hates the waiting, he kinda wants to just end it himself and let Jasper have you…

But, same as Jasper, Pyre loves both of you dearly and he knows that abruptly breaking up with you would hurt you, and that Jasper would figure out why he did it and be even more hurt plus guilty over it, so he bites his tongue.

They’re both going to stew in silence over it and are fully committed to doing so for the rest of your natural lives– you’re going to have to mediate this if you want to have any hope of a healthy relationship.

It won’t be too hard to figure out what’s going on with them individually, they’re both very salty skeletons that can mostly keep quiet about the things bugging them, but there’s a lot of snide and bitter quips muttered under their breath that you’re usually close enough to hear and draw conclusions from. At that point, you need to sit down with them and force a discussion; play whatever hard-ball you must to get them to talk, this is too important to sweep under the rug just because it’s awkward and painful.

They’ll be stilted at first and need a lot of prodding to keep going, embarrassed that their datemate is playing counselor for them, but soon enough they’ll start talking on their own. Yelling on their own. Screaming at each other and breaking shit on their own.

They’ve been repressing a lot of emotions for a long time and now that they’re flowing it’s like a tsunami, one you should probably get out of the splash zone of while they get it all out.

You don’t have to worry about them actually hurting each other, there’s far too much love between them for that and once the anger and bitterness is out there in the open, they realize that, too. There’s gonna be tears and broken sobs and fierce hugging and that’s your cue to get back on in there and take care of your boys– they love each other, they love you, and you love them right back, it doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.

Once the dust is settled, you’re theirs for life, no take-backs. You came into their home, showed them love and affection, and helped them get their brother back after years of tension and walking on eggshells: if you think they’re ever going to let you go now, you’re dead-wrong.

There’s going to be days when you almost regret emotionally reconciling them because when they’re not bickering over petty nonsense or competing with each other, they are the most terrifyingly efficient team you’ve ever seen. They’ll casually join forces against you whenever it suits them and you don’t stand a snowball’s chance in hell. They love and respect you of course, they’d never hurt or take advantage of you, but the combined force of Jasper’s rough charm and Pyre’s slick cunning means that you’re not often going to find yourself ‘winning’ in your relationship.

On the bright side, your romantic life is positively scorching between these two fiery personalities and the loving passion they have for you is more than enough of a balm on any wounds you might take to your pride. ;3

Swapfell:

Deceptively easy.

At first, they’re both very excited and on-board for this. As far as they’re concerned, there’s no one better in the world to share their datemate with than their own brother, someone trustworthy that they love unconditionally and don’t have to worry about losing you to, since they obviously wouldn’t try to steal you from each other.

And that’s true, because if there’s a problem it won’t be something they did, it’ll be what you did. Or maybe more accurately, what you didn’t do.

There’s really only one way to screw this up, but it’s a hard and fast death sentence for the relationship if you start neglecting Rus or playing favorites with Mal instead.

Rus is a needy guy, not too prone to jealousy but very prone to insecurity when the conditions are right, and Mal is one of the hardest (albeit unintentional) hitter of those buttons. His big brother, the one who’s taken care of him his whole life, protected him and sacrificed for him, Rus thinks Mal is a really cool guy. He’s not surprised at all that you want to date him, but he is surprised that you want to date Mal’s living disaster of a brother, too.

If you’re not careful and spend too much time with Mal or side with him all the time or do anything that could indicate you have a significant preference for one brother over the other, Rus is probably gonna jump to some conclusions and now it makes sense to him why you’re not just dating his brother– it’s ‘cause it’s a pity thing…isn’t it?

Mal is the one you really want  but you or Mal or maybe both of you noticed his pathetic interest in you and decided to toss him a bone. To make him feel better. Yaaaay.

His aversion to conflict means that he’s definitely never going to say anything to either of you, ever, but his 'realization’ (whether it’s true or not, almost certainly not) is painful and he won’t be able to help sulking and shying away from your affection for awhile.

That, for Mal, is as good as an actual, physical red flag. He’s sharp and knows his brother well enough to piece together everything that’s happened in Rus’ self-deprecating skull and as far as he’s concerned, there’s only one course of action from here: he’s gonna try to wriggle himself out of the relationship entirely and push you towards Rus.

Mal loves his baby brother fiercely and since he already blames his failings as a pseudo-parent for the anxiety and insecurity he struggles with, the absolute last thing he wants to do is hurt him by taking his datemate away. It’s a no-brainer to remove himself from the situation if he’s distracting you from Rus, but once it’s progressed to this point, there’s no positive outcome for anyone.

Rus is now convinced he’s the pity-boyfriend and feels awful that you don’t get to be with Mal anymore because he couldn’t hide his dumb feelings better. Mal is upset that he can’t be with you, and a little upset with you for not loving his little brother enough to begin with and making this choice necessary. And of course, you’re gonna be hurting, too, because one of your boyfriends thinks he’s your consolation prize and the other isn’t even your boyfriend anymore.

But of course, that’s the Worst Case Scenario.

To make this work, you just need to be fair about sharing your time and affection, which in healthy polyamory, you should probably already be doing! But if for some reason, you can’t do that, skew slightly in Rus’ favor. Mal can be jealous and selfish but he’s more than willing to make room for his brother’s happiness, and he knows that he’s welcome to edge into yours and Rus’ time together if he really wants– Rus has no problems sharing, he just gets a little upset if he thinks he’s the second choice.

If you put in the time and effort to assure Rus that you’re dating him because you care about him, this actually becomes one of the easiest bro-combos possible. Mal and Rus have a less contentious relationship than the other ‘fell brothers and with less buried anger and bitterness between them their bond is already strong and relatively healthy when you enter the mix.

Your integration is like finding the perfect centerpiece to tie an already-stylish room together. Mal plans all the dates and budgets your time between them in the most efficient way possible, while Rus makes sure you and him still get some time to relax and screw around at home. They work very well together as brothers and as your co-boyfriends with about equal importance placed on each role, so you’ll feel nothing but cherished and wanted between the two of them. Make sure to return the favor!

Horrortale:

Yes, a fantastic idea!

They’re both delighted that you asked and agree to share you pretty much immediately, without even a little fuss.

Slate and Papy are arguably the most codependent of the brothers (understandably, considering their shared trauma of the famine) and they’re also probably the most emotionally open with one another as a result, so if a poly relationship seems like it’s becoming a possibility with you, they’re going to get everything talked out and openly agreed upon for a very smooth transition.

It’s actually…kind of an ideal situation for both of them, in a way? Their issues and insecurities are…well, there’s a good deal of them and they’re both a tad concerned that the weight of it might be too much for you alone. They don’t want to overwhelm you or put too much pressure on you just because they’re a little… ‘broken’ is the wrong word for it, but they’re far from undamaged, either!

But with the other brother in the mix, the same one who’s always been there to support his sibling even before you came along, so much of that pressure is taken off.

Slate doesn’t worry that you’re going to suffer from his dissociation and memory problems because he knows Papy is there with his sharp mind and attention to detail to pick up the slack. Likewise, Papy doesn’t worry quite so much on his bad days that you’re secretly unhappy or would be better off without him because Slate is around, who even with a hole in his skull is naturally charming and very skilled at reading people– if you had any complaints, Slate would know and pass them along so they could make you as content as possible!

The end result is that they both relax and don’t psych themselves out quite as much as they might without their brother, and you get to see them as close to their old, pre-horror selves as they can get. Papy is a little more confident and Slate jokes around more and they both treat you like you make the sun rise every morning because you’re the one that loves them both enough to let this relationship be a thing they can have and that’s so cool.

There’s not a drop of jealousy over you from either of them, especially when they can see first-hand that you’re making their brother as happy as you make them, so this is a pretty harmonious and loving match-up, with a lot of potential for success!

[gg-astrology]

I was wondering what you could tell me about sagittarius sun with an aries moon? Love your blog btw !!

Hey there!! 💜💜💜 Ahh thank you so much!! 💜💜 I’m so sorry you have to wait so long skdjnf but here YOU GO 💜

[Below Cut: Sagittarius Sun - Aries Moon 💃]

They’re cats

Jump on your lap and doesn’t care what you’re doing, if they need something they’ll scream/swat at you until you wake up

When they want something you give it to them. If you want to pick them up? Good luck buddy maybe for like 5 seconds before they’re off again. 

Will swat things off the table, if they’re feeling playful they will bite your ankles. 

Honestly? The way I treat my cat is with absolutely patience. But if you want to exorcise the demon out of them, spray them with water or try to restrict them (hold them) and they’ll wriggle out immediately.

sknfdjknksnk anyways I just thought I should share! 

I think most people underestimate the standing power of Sagittarius/Aries honestly

Like sure they’re impulsive, moves fast, irritation flares easily, alone time is relax time. 

They’re never pretentious about their feelings/how they’re doing right now (you can See that they’re tired or if their mood is down) --- but underneath all that they also determined, very self-directed and self-assertive as well

See they might often project this aura of an adventurous spirit (kinda cautious sometimes/awkward) come across as wise/understanding and of being philosophically profound. 

But underneath all that they’re outspoken and blunt. They’re concentrated and concrete. Aries grounds the Sagittarius placement, they face things heads on. 

These people are critical, sometimes cynics but through that-- they understand the importance of projecting positive energy onto the atmosphere.   

Like all fire signs, especially with Sagittarius-- not liking to be touched unexpectedly because they’re unused to it (Aries) -- so the thing they do is that they project/raise energy in the room. 

In order to cheer others up, motivate people or just--- put themselves in a better environment/condition to work from/in. 

Fire signs are responsive, so making sure they get responses from others. Or projecting/engaging or enabling that kind of energy in an otherwise stifled/stagnant atmosphere is important for them (mutable/cardinal)

Sagittarius/Aries hesitance sometimes, mostly comes from Aries’s grounded nature, they don’t know what is ‘too much/not enough’-- how others respond. Just because they know themselves, doesn’t know they can easily predict or make others respond a certain way.

That uncertainty of ‘are they responsive?’ is what causes Sagittarius/Aries to be slightly awkward with people. They like routine, or rather something stable they can ‘fall back’ on with people more than they’d admit. They’re always thinking they’re better off on their own (individual) rather than think they’re a sociable person. 

Social setting isn’t a place of ease, they pushed/worked hard and actually have to use energy/effort in order to be successful/overcome their own awkwardness socially.

Still-- within that, the independent streak that they have often causes them to feel isolated/alone sometimes. While they may relish those times where they need it (away from people) -- sometimes it makes them feel like their hardships are all on them, that it’s because of them, or because they have a hard time being/sharing vulnerabilities in general (Sagittarius/Aries deflects attention away from that into humor too)

Prone to satirical or witty humor, their energy is devilish and mercurial and they may strive on surprising others, actively showing a different ‘side’ in order to enact different ‘responses’ from people (fire signs) 

They like being unexpected and surprising-- they’re enterprising people, but within that they like to tie informality/casual-ness with sharp, intuitive intelligence. 

The kind of person who thrives on having a defense mechanism (or just a mechanism) of pointing out things others are avoiding/ignoring. Things people don’t like to confront. They may act ‘bratty’ at times, because they can also be hypocritical sometimes (they’re emotional, but understanding that emotionality/thinking about it frustrates them if it goes on for too long)

These Sagittarius/Aries people are the type to act casual/normal and then suddenly jabs someone with a pointed comment. They’re blunt, forth-right and direct. 

Most of the time-- because they don’t understand the deeper currents of their own emotions (doesn’t like self-analyzing themselves to that point, thus they’re only aware of it when demonstrated. Like letting it flare up/provoke them constantly) --they’re unable to provide support for other’s emotions/beliefs.  

They may be tactless when they lash out, thoughtless in their comments because they really don’t ‘get’ why other people are ‘hurt’.

It has to do with seeing within themselves the things that may hurt others, and thus they’ll know when to avoid it.

Try learning how to be more thoughtful/contemplative, before you say things out loud try to think if it’s respecting other’s emotionality. Will it hurt them? Is it necessary?

Sagittarius/Aries has a mindset that if it’s practical, constructive, then others should hear it regardless of emotional ties to it.

It can make them lose/hurt those around them, and no matter how charming they are they’ll eventually have to learn how to be more connected/intune with their emotionality too. 

There’s a belief that ‘it doesn’t matter what others think’ as long as they voice their thoughts/feelings/perspective out earnestly/truthfully-- and because that’s how they treat themselves>others, that’s how others get treated as well. 

Oof onto happier stuff maybe?  

As much as they like adventures and experiencing something new, they also need time to recover/be away. I think most of us forget that-- Sagittarius as the oldest fire sign combined with Aries as the youngest, makes for a personality who would often need to be alone in order to recover/recuperate from projecting energy sometimes.

Another thing is also their astuteness, Aries is efficient, practical and sharp. Combined that with Sagittarius perception, self-expression. You have someone who can pick a part a bad plan/intentions from a mile away.

Although sometimes they can be naive in their younger years, they learn largely from their experience, hardship and mistakes. The more and more I talk about this placement I keep thinking of Capricorn or Aquarius.

With your love of drama, of showing yourself off a little (despite your awkwardness). You may sometimes enjoy wry deep-thinker/people, yet at the same time you need autonomy away from controlling/socially-able people as well (remind you of what you’re bad at and you don’t like to be reminded) 

Sagittarius/Aries assert themselves socially through honesty and weighing themselves, they let themselves express their honest thoughts/intentions/feelings (but still hides/avoids showing vulnerabilities to people). 

Sagittarius/Aries are also largely adaptable and very assertive when they’re on their own. When they have their own space/control to be in a position of helping/commandeering someone else, when they aren’t under someone’s rule or in a position of power-- these people are decisive, influenced a lot by their gut feelings/hunches. But often make brave choices (although they may often sacrifice a lot of their niceties and hurt others feeling while doing so)  

The head and the legs -- Aries and Sagittarius, once your head says/comes to a conclusion about something you don’t waste time working/getting on it. You’re a fast thinker, sometimes very responsive.  

Combining Sagittarius generous nature with Aries assertiveness, you have someone who can often time feel ‘alone’ or pull themselves away from others. Autonomy is important to them, it’s always crucial to search for the ‘thrill/feeling’ that every second matters, that everything is alive. 

I wouldn’t call it competitiveness, but rather a survivalist at their core?

It’s that ‘thrill-seeking’ element again, like if something gets you running faster, gets you moving at a rapid pace. You ride that wave you know?   

While that may be true, they’re very disciplined and let themselves go for things that ‘don’t matter as much’. These people often think the way they act/behave towards things that ‘dont matter’ is just fun and games. But again, it tends to upset/impose or hurt others unexpectedly. 

Learn how to be more emotionally sensitive and less defensive towards others around you offering advice. You may sometimes be so self-defensive you hurt others you care about and isolate yourself even more because of it.

Alrighty! 💓 THanks for asking I did my Best!! 💓💓

[tova-onova]

war reporter //get killed before you speak

when you are torn and tortured, before losing your life, you have the most gracious and beautiful dreams

@Moths

*this is what today is made into entertainment as an industry - models starving to death, ballet dancers dying of anorexia because of the stress in their minds and the pain their bodies are too fragile to actually take for a long period of time without pauses for deep regeneration and rest.

(*NOTE: this post is designed to express frustrations, don’t take it literally. an though that is not debated, is false. i put stuff under deconstruction to find peace w/ them. don’t feel offended,if you can)

this pain has to be kept secret, intimate, personal. whispered, not shouted about on media. it is sickness depriving people of their intimate space of suffering or struggling and selling them out for money. to  point you either became desperate to try being gracious altogether and you give up on it, or you are left completely isolated and everyone else starts making fun of your personal efforts to reach glory and greatness through grace. i have no space to breathe - this hate reality is suffocating any human being who might mess up and fail, but is ready to continue trying and move on in order to become better at what they want to perfect about themselves in the first place, through art or craft.

INSTEAD YOU BECOME HUNTED and all the grudges othe rpeople have get clened with your intimacy and your capacity of dilligece to genius and grace. you are shamed for beign sog ood, ad it is expected of ou to be ahamed of your competency just because int he smae time some narcissist is feeling lonely and deprived because they are and never can be as good as you. there is no actual reson for hating other, or your colleagues - it is only jealousy and a very poor personal character. strng people cn accept defeat from rivals. ut psychopaths - can’t. they live in their own reality bubble and they are then only judge in it, and the only factor tobe judged - otehrs dont hold any real value to a arcissist, and it is like they don’t exist in the imagined erality fo a narc. many int he cerative industries have acted as full narc so far. and because of this all others that are different re on the verge of suffocating. ad eve if they wanted, they can’t express their desirs to help people learn in their day-to-day lives more about reativity, focus, strategic plnning, maing use of rt to have a healthier and peaceful life, while helping your community nd the evironmet to stay safe and great. the problems of the Earth are woven in fabric. not only social fabric, but al kinds of layers of the human activity that hs been permitted to occur so far. if we do a cleanup of the ocean of human consciousness and subconscious, while also we clean the physicla earth, we have to address big names, big brands, big industries, big practices and big amouts of abuse and narissism, that kill life on all levels - environment, personality, communit,industry, culture. and the ultimte value is ot harmony or beauty - it is money. and thus people who are aggressive ca steal moey while patient peopel who want to deeserve it die from exhaustion trying to earn eough to fund their projects.

but the public is anxious, as well as the agents and the providers of funding. why cn’t a critic wait, since a performer is the gold mine they are digging to make money out of? and how coem they take it all out on the perforemr for beig a human. the can’t create, the oly watch, the have a failed ambition to be the cretor, so they suffer in a pond of anger and negativity. they are dangerous becuse thy are afraid to invest in their love and desires so they become judgemental of others’ work, as they are judging themselves. they erate a false reality and media strts busing the split in their minds to burn rel people to ashes with negatibve hateful comments that ruin their careers if they get to hear them. the world of popular products of culture is sd because obody is feeling like an artist. the feel like a product. so they get offended by every criticism. they dont defend themselves and their genius, they defend  brand that they have been turned into for money. this is a very unstable livig style. and it never ends. it has to end because real people lose teir physical strength and they need pece from the nonstop drama of the popular stars who are alws hugr for money and fame, but never feel complete, liek a creator. a creator an keep silent. and can do meditatio by living life shining is part of all of it, it is not all of it.

this is unfair and all of humanity suffers because we ive in an ugly world becaus eof that narcissistic greed.

every beautiful piece has a history of cruelty, but the most cruel thing comes out from the artist who tries to overcome his or her human limitations by becoming even better and more gracious in their craft -

the cruelty comes from the critics who are jealous, from their influence in the media that makes the humanity of the artist seem as a weakness, but the drive of these critics is jealousy and not caring for their colleague - they wanted to be as good and they badly wanted to shine, but they are not as smart, or as tall, or as courageous and hard-working, so instead they resorted to being haters online ro in newspapers or at universities or in printed publications. they spread their poison on behalf of actual craftsmen and artists.

a person struggles when they face their limits and have self-criticism. but they take a break only to regain their power and then try again. today every failure of someone who is trying to demonstrate grace to the entire world, is made into a sensation and the person is balacened as a complete moron, total failure, garbage or unksilled as an artist, simply because he said ‘i need to take a break’. this pace of insanity is called a nuclear war reality. where do you hurry for? what is more important than giving time for a doung to rise and than be baked into a sourdough bread? what more important job do you have than wait and observe and do LIFE?? huh?

and why is the body of a young person expected to compensate for that???? why do you not sacrifice your body if you re in such a big strong hurry to blow yourself up in another hatred-ridden ‘islamic state’ attack on the private space of individuals from peaceful cultures who lead logical lives and are not narcissists who create deliberate chaos to steal attention to themselves, because they re worthless and they don’t do anything all day, but they want to be the actor of their show, because they have sold their soul to a culture that makes them think they are more than everyone else and they are god, but it becomes sad and terrifying and empty because they don;t have anything else but their fake ideas that cant feed them or provide them with warmth and shelter. so they steal nd they terrorize all of the rest - to tare their peace out of them, to torture their brains their guts everything - until everyone is as dead s the narcs are. and they call this massacre dead end game a ‘win’

.........

they are a poison all over internet and everywhere where there are humans who express themselves artistically and want to be able to express their humanity freely

to the point of losing all energy in battling the savage brutality of haters, instead of producing even more enchanting and spectacular art with their skills.

when it is not safe to have a different opinion, and your job and livelihood depends on you putting up with brutality just to make ends meet, how does anyone expect to not see young people who loo alienated and who hate their surroundings? people are irresponsible enough to not care about anything else int he world than their living room and their dinner, but when their grandchildren come and show them a radioactive piece of trash they found while swimming in the ocean, they call the child mentally sick or bad and defiant, and they tell the child it is a threat. Do you really thin that being killed by radioactive weapon is an unreal threat but your child warning you about someone’s plans to low you out of existence is one??? Stupid idiot

-THE REPORT IS INTERRUPTED BECAUSE YOU BECOME MURDERED. a.k.a. YOU GET KILLED-

[thegeekstuff]

Couples therapy!

So sometimes, you get to a point with your relevant other (if you have the luck to have one) where it just seems like he/she/it/they/spaghetti flying monster/cthulu doesn’t seem to understand you, or gets mad for no reason...

It’s at those times that you feel like love shouldn’t be like that! That it should be perfect most of the time...

If you think like that, I’m sorry to announce you that you may be having some irrational ideas about what love is or how a relationship should be.

In this post I’ll cover some random common problems for couples!

Why? because I had to study this st00f for psychology and now I want to use it for something since I won’t be going through the clinical part of that grade!

So, let’s start with...

The most common irrational ideas on relationships:

Love is a feeling that is born or just dies. We can’t do anything to help it, so it doesn’t matter what we do: Love is a feeling that requires patience and perseverance, it’s not something that just happens! Effort in a relationship is a must to keep love, which is why people sometimes relax too much and do nothing to keep it going, resulting in divorces increasing.

Opposites are attracted, or we have our “half other” or “soul mate”: We are all wholes, and, even if you believe in fate and the such, you can’t know it, so there is no point in speculating if someone was or not the “destined one”. We all have different tastes and interests... and while having someone else with different tastes can be good to add some spice to life, it also makes it harder to find something in common that you could like if you are complete opposites. Imagine the most “manly man” and the most “femenine girl” there are, and try to get them to become a couple. You will soon see that they have nothing in common, and they will probably not last too long even if they do start dating, mostly because they don’t have anything that links them to each other that they could both enjoy.

If he/she/it/they/spaghetti flying monster/cthulu loves me, he/she/it/they/spaghetti flying monster/cthulu must accept me just as I am: While it is good to feel accepted, that doesn’t mean that your habit of insulting random people on the street is something that you shouldn’t try to change at all costs just because “it’s part of how you are”. The same applies to certain things. It doesn’t mean that you should be okay with changing your whole self for the other, that would be bad, but it doesn’t mean either that you should act like you are perfect the way you are if something really annoys the other. Adapting in some points may even be good for you AND the relationship, just like you’d expect the other to give in on some points that may make you mad.

For a couple to work right, you have to give up on individuality and attend the other (for example, giving up some friendships to be with the other): That will not only make you to be more alone and probably be more clingly to the other... but also will make you feel guilty in the future, when you feel like you are giving too much. We all have our individuality, and that is not something bad, it just means that we have our own interests, which is fine, and we don’t have to share ALL of our life with the other.

If he/she/it/they/spaghetti flying monster/cthulu really loves me,  he/she/it/they/spaghetti flying monster/cthulu must be ready to make any kind of sacrifice for me: Sacrificing yourself for someone else ends up making you feel guilty, not only because it’s stupid (because you don’t get anything doing it, and the other may even think that you hated them or not cared enough to go all the way with them, or you both may lose something in the way), but also because even if it feels romantic, it will make you like way less the other person for having you go through that. (Maybe not today nor tomorrow... but someday)

If he/she/it/they/spaghetti flying monster/cthulu doesn’t realize on what’s going on, it’s probably just because he/she/it/they/spaghetti flying monster/cthulu doesn’t care!: Apart from sounding very tsundere, most people don’t read minds, and aren’t in the must to make their other’s life their ONLY worry. We all have responsabilities and preocupations, and while the other may not have noticed, if you tell them nicely, or point it out without making them feel guilty in the way, there will be a higher probability to fix the problem without anyone dying in the way!

If he/she/it/they/spaghetti flying monster/cthulu doesn’t attend my necesities, it’s because he/she/it/they/spaghetti flying monster/cthulu is an egoist!: Same as above, specially the “the other isn’t the ONLY worry”.

Living together means sharing all the aspects of our life: As said before, we all like to have our individuality, and even if you both live together, that won’t mean that they are in the MUST to share all of their life. Everyone needs some privacy for themselves, or to have some secrets that they don’t want to share.

We should NEVER argue, it feels bad, and it means things are going wrong: Arguing can be actually good for a couple, as far as it stays civiliced. Arguing can put some insight on what the actual values of the other person is, helping you understand them, and also to notice some things about yourself that you could want to change not just for your couple, but for yourself.

Any sacrifice is valid before having to destroy the couple: Same as the sacrifices part. Sometimes splitting up may be the best solution, maybe the personalities aren’t working, or maybe it’s something else. The point is that everyone has freedom to be with whoever they want, and if they dont want to be with you or you don’t want to be with them, you or he/she/it/they/spaghetti flying monster/cthulu have the right to split up.

[nihil-a-nusquam]

A reply to a friends question on how we change thought

Although accurate to the variety of thought processes youre talking about. I am inclined to disagree to the extent of mans interest in thought and reflection. The evidence i bring to the table is myself. Thought, prior to action, as a genetically inherited trait, as in nature over nurture, is something i, and many others, manifest prior to putting thought into action. It is proposed that thought carries weight and thought influences reality. If this is true, then the law of attraction is verified. But. We are a civilization of many many different facets of form of thought. Man as a majority may think this way that you describe, avoiding such things as self reflection, however this could not possibly apply to every single individual. The reason we have individualism is tightly related to society and capitalism. This is the design of thought imposed. You get born, you grow, you learn, you contribute, you react, you decide, you inherit, you waste, you choose, you die. This is an example of the template of life as seen through the eyes of society. This however, is wrong. We are symbiotic, we are not an individual, we are a collection of like thinking minds, meant to cooperate. This is proven every time you strand a group of people on an island. You work together or you perish. But, big brother doesnt benefit off of one person working just enough to scrape by so 5 of his friends can crash at his house. They would rather see 6 people working owning their own homes. Because this facilitates the illusion of money and keeps the people with nothing away from the people with everything. Hence the individualistic perspective. Its good for business. So, you think your an individual, but, even so, how do you think? We are manipulated into the form of thought where what is of most priority is money. Need to eat, need money, need a place to sleep, need money. But those needs turn to wants when the needs have been facilitated. So you got a job and a home but hate taking the bus, buy a car. Car sucks, got a raise, finance a new car. Cause your peers are all in debt but they look like theyre doing well with their porsche and you wanna impress them now that you have the means so you get the newest model porsche. Uth ohhh, your job is downsizing, you got demoted, you cant make your payment, best get a better job. No dont sell the porsche, you wont get pussy ever again. See? So. Wheres the time for self refection or thought in any regard? We are far too distracted obtaining our necessities then our prizes and scrambling around so we dont lose our prizes when we miscalculated that "shit happens" circumstance. You dont need wholesomeness or understanding or community cause fuck it you got a porsche, youre important, you made it to the popular table at lunch. However, i see a different wave emerging from the untamable sea. Where in your generation, your world, you were saturated with opportunities and being introduced to the rat race for the glory of being the cool kid on the block, you were nurtured in the society that set up the race as we know it today. Youre already programmed to think individualistically. Yet, my peers dont think like that. I dont think like that. I dont need to retrain or rewrite my understanding of what it means to live, because i inherited a world of needing to meet necessities while instead everyone is out obtaining prizes. Prizes are good for business. So my peers werent born striving to get their necessities taken care of and then sparking the prize race. They were born into the prize race with no regard for the necessities. And since the necessities have been shifted to the social standing of prizes, for example 20 bucks worth of groceries in the 80s is costing about 45 bucks now (inaccurate inflation example, dont quote me on) so for natural thought to occur it is significantly easier for the fresher generations to comprehend the shift, and to sit and think about things before rushing into a mistake. Because the world is littered with con artist like mistakes. Buy that timeshare. Get this "certified pre owned" car, but dont ask about the warranty cause you got 5 miles before its null and void. Vultures preying on the lesser in the know. Get this credit card, here free money, interest? Yeah im interested. No no, interest, as in you buy 300 worth of stuff and you pay the card back 450 cause minimum payments and INTEREST. Ohhh, oops. I think my point is made. We are so used to happening upon the monkey paws of land mines that we are distrusting in everything we do. So. We think. And that movement, has enlightened us to thinking more and more about many things. If im not worth a home of my own working 90 hours a week, doesnt matter the job, im putting in 90 hours and i cannot be housed, then what is the worth of this stupid fuckin rat race anyway? Which leads to self reflection. Well if what i want is a bed to sleep on, but all i can muster is a friends couch, what would make me happy, since im not worth a bed. Cause fuck this race, if im gonna be miserable financially for the next 10 years, i dont wanna be miserable emotionally too. So we think. What can we do within our realm that makes us happy. And the conclusions we draw are to live a life away and departed from this rat race, this programming and deception. Now that we know the score and that the game is rigged. We do the last thing that no one can regulate. We think. So i think... we think... differently, depending on a complex combination of nature vs nurture and station in which we reside. However. Your observation of this is necessary. Because nature can only account for so many freely thinking peoples. So we need people who had to fight for the freedom to think for themselves. The people that needed to learn how to self reflect. Needed to learn that it is okay to change. It is okay to sell the porsche. It is okay to let go. It is okay to have nothing but yourself and the clothes on your back. No one is grading you. This isnt a test. This is an illusion, a sick joke. And one more note to wrap this up. The law of attraction. Don't be fooled by someone trying to sell a self help book. If it is spiritual wisdom it will be shared, it will NEVER be purchased. But this universal law is very very real. And we have been hearing about it in media for quite some time. The thing that is left out is that we have to DO. You cannot just dream it, just want it, you must do it. You must manifest your dreams. The good news is if you sacrifice to accomplish, you will be rewarded and that sacrifice will be worthwhile. But there are many factors to take into account. Your dreams must have a practical way of manifesting. You will never grow wings and fly. But. You can learn how to hang glide. You will never be the strongest person in the world. But you can be the strongest version of you that can concievably exist. Practical realities. These are all here for you, you just have to do. If youre not willing to sacrifice, then you will not be able to manifest. And if its something else, then its something else. Call it fate call it luck call it whatever but if you are successful without a lick of doing or a lick of sacrifice, you might be in trouble, because you might be filler, irrelevant to the structure of things, you might be set up for a huge fall. And that is why no one wants change. Because we are taught that sacrifice is a bad thing. It is bad for the individual to sacrifice because sacrifice is synonymous with loss. And if you are a selfish thinker, abusive to your friends and family, egotistical and damaging in your actions and words, and everyone distances themselves from you because you will not change. You will never know wholeness. You will never know oneness. You will always be trapped as an individual. Because the system forces you to fear sacrifice, cause sacrifice is not good for business. But if all of us, the new thinkers, the reformed old thinkers, everyone inbetween, started thinking, and tried manifesting a universe where money didnt rule our spiritual well being, well, maybe the universe will plant the seeds of thought for a new generation to harvest change.