#he do be serving face all the goddamn time tho

[mishavoltaire]

was talking to my sister and she said she understands why people like astarion but he's "isn't he shitty"

so this was born, yeah he's shitty but he's MY SHITTY ELF CUNTYFACE VAMPIRE shitty

[csainzoperator]

yummy: LN4 ☆

summary: y/n is a chef in the mclaren hospitality who is famous for her fabulous recipies. everyone is head over heels for her recipies, and a certain someone is most definitely more than head over heels. but not just for the food.

(lando norris x fem!reader)

read more under the cut!

itsmey/n has posted!

another day at work! for the british gp, their special "sticky toffee pudding" was a success :)

tagged: landonorris and oscarpiastri

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, lewishamilton and 76,123 others.

landonorris it was so yum (she fed us the so called desert forcefully after giving us a 4 course meal)

- oscarpiastri you're such an ungrateful brat. it was great, bestie itsmey/n

- itsmey/n thank you pastry, and lando...i might leave you to starve to death.

lewishamilton i would kill for a pudding rn! you should drop by merc hospitality y/n!

- mclaren look at you trying to steal our goddamn chef....

f1wagsss oh my god you're so pretty

landonorris has posted!

P2 AT HOME RACE BABY!! so proud of the team to be finishing at P2 and P4. also special thanks to y/n for feeding us well :)

tagged: oscar piastri and itsmey/n

liked by georgerussell63, carlossainz55, itsmey/n and 872,182,283 others.

landonorizz are we gonn ignore the fact that y/n just made it to a lando post???

lechaaair OH Y/N FEEDS US TOO. SHE SERVES ALL THE DAMN TIME. MOTHER 🙏🏼🙏🏼

itsmey/n its literally my job tho...?

- oscarpiastri some people are bad at their job. he's appreciating you for being good. (lando you fr have no rizz man)

carlaando lando are you trynna make a move GN

- landonowinss BROS PROBABLY REGRETTING RN 💀

(time skip!)

it was the hungarian gp. you were in the mclaren hospitality. the mclaren kitchen was quite big, and your co-workers were extremely sweet. you mainly cooked for the drivers and mechanics, while guiding the others. you were tasting a dish when you feel a presence behind you. you immediately recognise who it is.

"what is it now, lando?" you ask with a knowing smile on your face. he sits down on the counter beside you and watches you as you work. "i was wondering if you would like to, maybe, just maybe, come outside with me and sit down and talk and get some food you know?" he blabbers

"are you asking me out on a date?" you tease him. "well, yeah. only if you want it to be. its okay if you say no" he says with a sad smile on his face. you cup his face with one of your hands and give his cheeks a squeeze. "ofcourse i'll come, dumbass. now shoo, let me work. you're too distracting"

the smug smile he has on his face makes you blush. "so i am distracting huh? what else am i? you can give me details when we go on that date" he winks at you and walks off. you just simply shake your head in amusement.

the date goes well. to be honest, more than well. you both have the most fun ever. lando is everything that you craved. he was the sweetest boy. day by day, meal by meal, both of you started talking more, discovering each other. one fine night, in his apartment in london, where you taught him how to bake his favourite cake, he surprises you by asking you to be his girlfriend. you say yes without hesitation. you knew he wasn't going to play around with your heart.

it was the brazilian gp. lando had placed P2 again! you were the proudest girlfriend to exist, and the happiest. you were just so incredibly proud as he was doing so good this year.

itsmey/n has posted!

brazil you were brilliiianttt <3 liked by oscarpiastri, mclaren, landonorris and 92,233 others.

f1wags HOLD UP. SOFT LAUNCHING????

oscarpiastri yuck i hate being around the hospitality now.

landonorris 🌟

- carlandodod PLS IM NOT OK WHAT DOES THIS MEAN.

- leclercvc oh. my. god. guys. i think its lando and y/n.

f1gosssip apparently some people saw looking for his "girlfriend" after the race, and some people even saw him kissing a girl in the mclaren garage! we hope its y/n 😫

y/nfannn MOTHER WHO IS THAT

landonorris has posted!

brazil with bae. thank you team for making the P2 happen! more to come.

p.s i don't believe in soft launches. she let me hard launch after 8 races 🖐🏼

tagged: itsmey/n and mclaren

liked by mclaren, itsmey/n, charles_leclerc and 827,123,12 others.

oscarpiastri GAG

carlandooo MAMA Y PAPA

carlossainz55 finally mate! congrats :)

maxverstappen1 lando isn't a kid anymore

f1wags OFFICIALLY OUR FAV WAG (with lily obv)

itsmey/n i love you, baby! super proud <3

- landonorris i love YOU. so much. so much.

paddockclubb 8 RACES?? HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON OMG

the end ♡

[stevethehairington]

okay so. overall review:

actually not as bad as i expected it to be! and not as bad as i thought it was going to turn out while i was in the trenches there lol. i still wished it focused a little more on eddie's home life/relationship with his dad and uncle AND his friends, and had way less of the romance stuff (read: none), BUT i will admit that there ended up being a lot less of the romance stuff than i initially expected and a lot less than it seemed like there would be while still in the middle of the book.

the paige stuff still made me uncomfy bc i didn't like the power dynamics there (paige had something eddie wanted desperately, and i don't like the idea that that could have had something to do with his "feelings" for her/why he engaged with them ((esp bc let's be real — he didn't seem super torn up over not getting to be with her in the end)) or that she used that to her advantage bc there was ALSO something in it for her) BUT i will say they did make it slightly less skeezy than i expected bc she was only a couple years older than him instead of like. significantly older like i expected.

i do wish there was more about eddie's friends and their fallout and reconciliation. his friends were super important to him and he just. dropped them. like that. and there was BARELY any blowback. like yeah there was a fight with ronnie, but we never actually got to see the reactions of any of the other hellfire/corroded coffin guys, and i would've liked to see that. same with the reconciliation, it felt very minimal — i would've liked to see more of how that played out too.

I LOVED EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN SECOND OF WAYNE MUNSON CONTENT, THAT MAN IS A GIFT HE IS AN ANGEL I ADORE HIM WITH EVERYTHING IN ME. IF THERE IS ONE THING THIS BOOK HAS DONE IT HAS SOLIDIFIED MY STANCE THAT WAYNE MUNSON IS THE BEST GOD DAMN CHARACTER AND I WOULD DIE FOR HIM.

as for eddie — i think the author did an alright job finding his voice. there were times where i thought she really nailed it, but there were also A LOT of times where i thought "he would never say that!!" "he would never do that!!". it wasn't very consistent, but overall it wasn't awful and there were some good parts!

the other characters we know and love that made cameos — VERY fun to see them (gareth, chrissy, jason, hopper, will, jonathan!!!) gareth was ESPECIALLY fun to see because they really embraced that feral chihuahua boy energy we love to assign to him. BUT. i am SO incredibly upset with how badly they massacred my boy tommy h (whOSE LAST NAME THEY COULDNT EVEN GET RIGHT I MEAN W H A T!?) they fucking. got his characterization SO BAD. it was awful. i am. personally offended by it (joking, mostly rhsjsi). (as a tommy lover i am. devastated tho. HE WOULD NOT DO THAT!!!)

OH ALSO — reefer rick. WHAT a fun dude. hes out here in his robe and bunny slippers drinking darjeeling tea, living it up. what a guy.

id like to give a huge FUCK YOU to principal higgins too! they made that dude a straight up MONSTER. he was unnecessarily CRUEL and some of the things he said straight up to eddies face,,,,,,, sir what the FUCK. i know the 80s was a different time but jesus fucking cHRIST was casual cruelty and bullying from grown ass ADULTS commonplace? i sure hope not.

ALSO FUCK AL MUNSON LIVES ALL MY HOMIES HATE AL MUNSON LIVES. that man was AWFUL, TRULY HONESTLY GENUINELY THE WORST. neglectful and cruel and downright AWFUL. NOT ONLY DID HE CONSISTENTLY ABANDON EDDIE THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE BUT THEN HE DREW EDDIE INTO HIS SCHEMES, CONNED HIM, FUCKED UP REAL BIG, AND THEN LEFT EDDIE IN THE ASHES OF THEIR — OF HIS — HOME AS THE ONLY PERSON LEFT WITH THE COP WHO GOT SHOT AND IS LIKE SLOWLY BLEEDING OUT. TALK ABOUT FUCKING TRAUMA WHAT THE FUCK. i hope he got flayed ALIVE by charlie greene lmao it would serve him right that absolute twat waffle.

also, im gonna be real. the end of that book was actually INSANELY depressing. like, it tried to be positive because you gotta end on a positive note right? but it just fell. COMPLETELY flat. bc we all know what happens to eddie in canon. he's sitting there reenrolling in school, peacoking around about how he's GOING to finish high school and he's GOING to graduate and he's GOING to show principal higgins that he CAN do it and that he ISNT the fuckup deliquent he's convinced he is. BUT WE ALL KNOW HE DOESNT FUCKING GET THAT IN CANON. he's taking waynes advice and fully embracing who he is and he's learning to be comfortable in his own skin and to rise above all the noise of people who don't like him and think he's a freak. ONLY WE KNOW HE NEVER TRULY GETS TO DO THAT EITHER BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW HOW IT ENDS IN CANON. so yeah it just ends up being a REALLY fucking BLEAK ending because all of that "positivity" is absolutely tainted. it's fucking soured. and i am once again INSANELY INFURIATED about eddies death. so fuck the duffers, again.

also, eddie munson literally never caught a fucking break. not one fucking break. his ENTIRE life was just one series of tragedies after the other and it truly just continued on that way until he fucking died. honestly, its a goddamn MIRACLE that he has ANY ounce of positivity and optimism and hope left in his life when we get to him in s4. thatd how utter dogshit a hand he has been dealt in life. and it only.got worse from there. and i will NEVER forgive ANYONE involved in his creation for that.

so yeah! that concludes my journey reading flight of icarus. it was a wild ride lol.

[hauntedpearl]

anyway fic concept I'm pulling and stretching like candy in my brain rn: what if amara pulled cas' grace out as a "gift" to dean instead of resurrecting mary and it was so awfulhorrendousbad for everyone involved.

like cas does not want to be human but there's nothing he can do and also he just has to live in this state knowing full well that it was something done to him (again) for the sake of someone else (again) and the person his body is supposed to serve is like. he's not even interested in it! he's not even caring and apologetic about it! because dean wouldn't be.

the problem with Dean is that he's extremely self-indulgent when he's experiencing pain which means that even when hes dying of guilt he'll turn it into a pity party and explode with anger and frustration instead of. like. putting the needs of the people he's feeling guilty about having hurt first. and he never expects absolution but he craves it deep within and he's also. like. so afraid of it. like he wants to be forgiven for things but he cannot handle the tenderness that comes with forgiveness i think so he must like. act unforgivable. or something. idk I'm just. thinking out loud.

anyway. yes. so when this happens dean's just so goddamn hurt that he can't do anything to help cas get his wings back + that cas is. like. in this state because Amara wanted to do something for him so this is simply the most blatant and warped manifestation of his desire to be. like. with cas. which. at that point i think he's still battling with that intensely and he doesn't like what he's seeing. i think he only becomes okay with it post widower arc in s13 because the vaccum cas left behind was like. too large. and if it was a choice between being okay with being gay for the angel and not having the angel at all, it's an easy choice. like that's my interpretation. but anyway. i digress.

so. dean's just incapable of even confronting cas head-on beyond, idk, just bringing him back to the bunker and making sure he's not dead (bmol plot is not happening in this fic bc i am. not someone with that much talent lmao). he avoids him and leaves sam to take care of cas and sam is like. bad at it. he is horrible at it. he also does not want to be involved in whatever is going on with Dean and cas and he craves a return to normalcy. so when cas decides to just bail on the brothers after he's had enough of this. frankly emotional torture, sam is like. more than happy to pack his bags for him and give him money and send him on his way. I think cas does confront dean before he goes and he openly states whatever dean is not ready to face. he's like you love me and that's why this happened to me and i love you and i forgive you but i cannot stand to be here anymore. and he just leaves and does not contact dean for a long time. like i think dean does. get better. because he has to. FOR ME. he has to do it because i want him to do it. and he like gets to a place where he can accept whatever is going on with him and also. like. accept cas' rejection were it to come his way. for rejecting him first. ykwim? and cas also has his own. journey where he has to come to terms with living as a human being even tho he isn't and he never truly will be but his grace is gone and the guy it's gone for is not in his life by his choice and everything SUCKS. but like. you keep living because you have to. eventually you'll find joy one way or another. you learn to be okay. i think cas learns to be okay. and he only reaches out to dean after he's. like. reached a point where he feels fulfilled and happy and just. wants to give dean another shot. feels confident enough that he'll choose himself it he has to. and then when they meet up it's electric it's fire and it's love and it's all things romance ™ (for meee!!! for me!!!) and then they kiss and then they sit down and talk and cry and dean reveals the extent to which he wants this whole thing to be entirely Cas' choice and he is just HERE. he is JUST HERE he doesn't care if he has to do uncomfortable things!! and cas is like well good because you have to do many uncomfortable things but it's like. it's good it's compromise and they take care of each other etc the end

ANYWAY. AMARA TAKING CAS' GRACE. YEAH

[eriexplosion]

Pushing through one last one tonight to get through Truth and Consequences.

Omega having learned meditation from Gungi is so wholesome actually. Also Gonky's gentle honking as he walks back and forth.

I love this moment between Omega and Echo and honestly I wish we got more of them. Echo saying why they joined, how this was where they fit and where they were needed. I'm such a fucking sap that I need wherever the batch ends up to still be where Echo fits, I just want everyone to be together and happy my god.

I love the camera angle of Riyo looking at everyone and then sharply down to see Omega. "Hello!!!"

There's something I want you to see and it's the dead clone. Omega looked so excited up until that exact moment.

Oh golly gee I'm so glad we get to see something neat and cool hope it's not a goddamn corpse.

Honestly Omega has amazing faces this episode. Her UTTER DISGUST at Rampart in the senate halls for example.

"Which one belongs to the clones?" OMEGA GETS TO LEARN ABOUT STRUCTURAL INEQUALITY TODAY.

HALLE BURTONI! I'm excited to meet her again, she's absolutely the worst person alive but I enjoy her.

She literally just went WELP PLANET'S GONE GUESS I DON'T HAVE TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IT ANYMORE. WHAT A RELIEF.

Omega literally cares more about Kamino than Burtoni does. And she deserves to be angry more honestly, she gets jerked around a lot (including in this episode - the way they DON'T TELL HER ECHO IS GOING TO LEAVE UNTIL IT HAPPENS)

"Help's hard to come by these days" and Echo clearly makes their decision right there. It's the way that they didn't come here expecting to split from the batch but they hear that they're Needed and have such a hard time staying away at that point, especially when it's coming from Rex.

"He's still not better with heights?" Rex sounds so sympathetic like oh he knows u were working on that is it not coming along?

TEEEEECH?

Tech and Echo both plugging in at the same time, pictures of teamwork.

Plan 14, 5, AND 86. Just start stringing plans together like it's math class.

NOTHING SAYS FUCKING COVERT MISSION LIKE WHAT THEY'RE DOING WITH THIS SHIP.

It's fucking stealth you see.

"I was off by 6.4 meters. Not my best :/" I love him

I will say that this was a great midseason twist that they absolutely fucking won they completed the mission perfectly they got the evidence and aired it in front of everyone and Palpatine came in and in two seconds he twisted it around to serve what he wanted. Like, that's some GOOD SHIT.

Why does his pod have fucking tornado sirens tho

God no wonder Echo feels like they HAVE to keep getting clones out, they feel like it's partially their fault that the legislation got through.

Also the way that they've clearly talked about this and didn't tell Omega is just. Still so much. I'm still thinking about "remember what I said" from Hunter, what does it refer to, is it from all the way back in the TCW arc or did he say something offscreen that we won't find out until it's significant?

"It's not forever. I'll be back." AND THE HUG. THE HUGGGGGG. MY HEART IS SOFT AND SENTIMENTAL I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE HAPPY TOGETHER.

THE FINAL SHOT OF THE SHIP LOOKING SO MUCH LIKE LEAVING CROSSHAIR BEHIND ON KAMINO. AND THEN OMEGA INSIDE. THANKS DIDN'T NEED MY HEART.

[gallus-rising]

here we go. i’m doing it and no one can stop me

i am (going to attempt) to rank all stands by sexiness starting with the JoJo’s themselves. by the end of this “project” all of the winners will be pitted against each other in a final showdown, as judged by me, Standfucker Extraordinaire. unfortunately no TJL stands will be included as we’ve not seen enough of them in action. sorry Jodio 😔

plz keep in mind that these are only my objectively correct opinions u-u

11: Tusk Act 1

marketable plushie lookin ass

10: Tusk Act 3

change up the colors and this thing the world’s ugliest sleep paralysis demon

9: Hermit Purple

its just vines. idk what i’m supposed to say. comes w Joseph’s slut energy built in. it’s cool that its purple i guess?

8: Tusk Act 2

Johnny you have 4 stands and almost all of them are ugly as sin wtf man. the design is finally fun so points for that at least

7: Crazy Diamond

now we’re getting onto the fuckable stands babyyyy

Crazy Diamond is just a tad much. his colors are ok, the hearts coordinating w Josuke’s design are cute. but then there’s the plating, the helmet, the tubes(??), and he even suffers from jjba Codpiece Syndrome. it’s all a bit much and doesn’t quite fit. in some of the anime promo art they gave him a sparkly diamond texture, but besides that i don’t care for him all that much.

6: Star Platinum

using the DiU palette bc of all the Star Platinum colors it’s the best. the pastels are cute and make for a fun contrast w the big muscles

an oldie but a goldie. bc Araki hadn’t gotten his footing w stand designs yet Splat looks more unique in retrospect. hair and clothing, capable of facial expressions, a tasteful loincloth as opposed to Another Fucking Codpiece.

i also think it’s cute how artists like to draw him w starry hair :>

5: Gold Experience Requiem

GER? this guy fucks. there’s simply no other way to put it. he fucks so hard. unfortunately points have to be redacted for that dead eyed stare and unmoving grimace. GER could be so much higher if he didn’t have such an awful baked in expression and this will become an unfortunate running theme. maybe if GER had more screen time that could be mitigated, but alas...

4: Stone Free

one of the few female stands, which sucks bc Araki goes off w girl stands. just look at her. the blue accented by gray, the radical bright green sunglasses, the sexy hints at her string powers, she even complements Jolyne nicely if stand/user synergy is needed. she’d probably be higher up if we saw more of her bc Araki prefers to show off her powers via having Jolyne psychically unravel which is fun! but does mean this beauty didn’t get enough time to shine 😔 not sure how i feel abt the bumpy texture as well. makes things a bit busy

3: Tusk Act 4

finally!! after 3 shit stands Tusk strikes gold in the final hour. its weird, its pink, its got (jo)stars its a cowboy, what more could you want??

more screen time goddamn it!! Tusk Act 4 gets like 2 and a half physical appearances across 2 parts. Araki wtf man. Tusk Act 4 just fucks so hard tho so it’s gotta be top 3

2: Soft & Wet

YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEA!!! NOW THIS IS WHAT I CALL A FUCKABLE STAND! Soft & Wet is the platonic ideal of a MC stand. fun mechanical parts, cute little face, the Stand Tubes finally serve an aesthetic purpose and aren’t just awkwardly tacked on. he also has such pleasing colors and silhouette. i love him so much and he’s easily one of the best, cutest, most sexy stands in all of jjba

However

Soft & Wet has 3 variants and they all look the same. base Soft & Wet, Josefumi’s Soft & Wet, and GO ⭐ BEYOND are identical. so many good multi-stage stands and Soft & Wet drops the ball on every level 😔

1: Gold Experience

Gold Experience is not just fuckable, he’s h*rny. nonstop GE everyday all the time GE is just Like That and the sheer confidence of it all overpowers the few negative aspects of his design. even the Fucking Codpiece

GE has more than 1 facial expression and a sexy alt form to mix things up. he pairs w Giorno perfectly. he’s got a Lot going on w the loud colors, ladybugs, wings, helmet, teardrop markings, vague insect texturing, and hints of The World. but unlike Crazy D it all ties together. amazing. flawless. unbelievable.

and if you don’t know what i mean when i say GE is h*rny. BEHOLD:

in every one of his Iconic poses he is dtf. the h*rniest stand for the h*rniest part. this is how it was meant to be godbless godbless and goodnight.

[tsuki-sennin]

Two years have past since the end of the war with the Bugnarok Empire. Under the guidance of its new King, Jeremy Brasieri, the Bugnarok are now recognied by the other five kings as their own sovereign nation. However... centuries of pain cannot be undone so soon. Not when the world faces ever greater peril.

And... after that... Freaky Friday x 3.

Spoilers, I guess...

-Oh.

-He dead.

-Kamejim's an alien, huh?

-Ohhhhhhhh, that's a lot of bugs.

-Well, his majesty King Gira certainly looks older.

-Everybody seems to be resting on their laurels.

-Rita would be ashamed.

-"Oh... I see... Well, that's not the least bit surprising."

-What the hell happened to our worldwide government?

-"Please stop crying, it's not your fault! D:"

-The aliens are coming! We've been compromised!

-"I do, yeah!"

-Dugden Dujardin...

-"Right, here's the deal. You're all gonna hand your planet over to me.

-THEY THREW THEM IN JAIL?

-WHY THO

-RITA YOU RUN THE JAILS HOW-

-"Hey buddy, you lied to me, y'know?"

-Ohhhhhhhhh

-Holy shit

-This guy is just Bug-type Evolt.

-Oh my God.

-Y'know, I can't say I expected intergalactic genocide from this show.

-"Wow, you're right! I am mocking you."

-I have to say, the green screen halos add a lot to how surreal and terrifying he is.

-Hey, wait a fucking second, that's America on that earth model!

-All that with a flick.

-He nearly destroyed all of America.

-Racules you motherfucker

-Gira says "Up yours, Dugdump."

-Whoaaaaaaaa, who is that?

-J

-Jesters.

-Gorma...

-Man's got his own roster.

-Jimmy, of course, was here the whole time.

-I suppose God's sitting this one out.

-The Tyrant King returns.

-Ohsama Sentai! King-Ohger!

-Lovin' the new hair, Yanma.

-Kaguragi seems just about the same as he always is.

-Ran, on the other hand... Absolutely serving.

-Oh, short hair Rita. Love it.

-Rita's one gray eye...

-We are so back. ...even though really it hasn't been that long.

-"Freeze, stinkbug."

-Oh great, Jimmy slipped away.

-Oh

-Oh my god.

-What kind of fucking PC needs global power siphoning?

-HIMENO CAUSED A WILD FIRE

-KAGURAGI CREATED A FARM TANK

-RITA WOULDN'T FUCKING TAKE A VACATION

-Yes, kings are back, I saw last episode.

-Intergalactic clown bugs.

-We traded Dezzy for this jhkhkl

-Gorma's already come up with a perfect scheme~!

-Kaguragi's a flasher I see.

-Oh wait, no Himeno???

-Goddamn, Kaguragi's living it up.

-Yanma, you're in the middle of a tundra, why the hell did you take Rita's shoes off?

-There is literally no episode premise better for an ensemble cast like this than a Freaky Friday plot.

-Ohhhhh, I noticed that Rita covered Yanma's eye. It must be blind.

-The actors are absolutely nailing each other's mannerisms, holy crap.

-I'm glad Kaguragi and Jeremy are enjoying themselves :)

-Himeno's still absolutely serving in Kaguragi's body.

-"Yanma... please... hurry up, I need it."

-"Dude, c'mon, you're already making yourself home in my body, at least-"

-"GIVE!"

-My current theory as to why Rita covers their mouth so much is because they have an oral stim they view as particularly embarassing. I imagine it must've hurt a lot when Gira laughed so hard.

-It is so weird hearing Rita's voice speaking so casually.

-Apparently Ran's not built enough for Kaguragi's liking.

-"Oh, trust me, Mantis Lady! You gotta knead your dough and feel the burn to make a nice, extra crispy bread."

-Gorma Jumpscare.

-Gorma Rosalia...

-Ninpo! Body Swap Art!

-"Beat me, and you'll be heading right home."

-Ohgai Busou!

-Oh, right, just because the minds switch around doesn't mean the authorization does.

-Nin!

-Oh, Rita smiled, that's nice :)

-"Jeremy, you're thinking a little too generously..."

-And this is Gira saying this, so you know this is gonna be a geopolitical nightmare.

-Jesus Christ Himeno jkjhjkmnhl

-Well at least Kaguragi's employing a bit of aid.

-SEBAS WHAT

-"No fighting."

-C

-Cross-brained fox.

-"I'm arresting each and every last one of you bastards!"

-Yanma, Yanma, Yanma, Yanma!

-Aw, Jeremy :)

-Not the least bit surprising that Gira and Jeremy are taking this the best.

-"Whaaaaaaaat? Nooooo, nooooooo, I don't think the Bugnarok are responsible for this, nooooooo!"

-Huh

-I have to disagree Jeremy, that was insanely quick, considering.

-Heat stroked out.

-Having a bit of a wild day.

-"Suppose we've spent a bit too much money on healthcare..."

-There's a certain elegance in Kaguragi's interpretation of Kamakiri Ohger.

-That's a really cool way of tying the body swaps into the fight scene though, I won't lie.

-They mad.

-Bang!

-That's our Jeremy.

-We won! Technically!

-Now to remove the Ninja

-OH FUCK

-Ohhhhhhh, you're one tricky son of a bitch, aren't you Gorma?

-Oh man, shit's getting real now.

[finnofamerica]

How would your OCs react to their GF/BF having a bad day? Like really shitty rainy bad day

James "Dix" Dixion

Dix would immediately try to make you laugh. Probably telling you a story of something stupid he did as a teenager.

He's so animated when he tells you too. Making up voices, using a comb as a mustache.

"And Josh's dad was so pissed at me! It's okay tho Mr. Vaughn can't resist me, he forgave me after a week. Moved all his old trophies though."

He'll keep you laughing until your bad day is completely forgotten.

Joshua Vaughn

Josh would offer you an oversized sweater and some boxers while he washed and dried your clothes. No one wants to hang out in sopping wet clothing on top of their already shitty day.

"Tell me about your day, baby."

He'd just sit and listen to how shitty your day was. Once you tired yourself out he'd ask

"Do you want a ride home or a sleepover, baby?" "Sleep over." "Yeah, I figured. Up to bed, I'll tuck you in."

Everett Reed

Everett would be so pissed on your behalf.

"Next time you tell Patricia from accounting that if she has a goddamned problem then she can take it up with me. What the fuck is she talking about? 'yOuR sLaCkInG'. Shut the fuck up Patricia."

He'd be pacing back and forth cursing out whoever made you cry.

Devon Reed

He'd see your tears and your soaking wet clothes and immediately pull you into a hug.

"Do you want to vent, be distracted, or have a problem solved?"

Whatever you decide he'd be all too happy to help.

He'd cuddle you the whole time too, helping you relax.

"Do you wanna hear a new song I wrote?"

Ryker Jones

"What's wrong? Talk to me."

She'd listen as you talk about the shitty Karen who ruined your day, massaging your scalp.

She'd have to resist the urge to hunt down that Karen, but ultimately she knew that it wasn't something in her jurisdiction.

She'd give such light kisses all over your face, helping melt away the stress.

Ava Reyes

Runs you a bubble bath with nice-smelling candles and makes your cocoa.

"Listen, they can only bother you if you let them. At the end of the day, they are just bitter. You are stronger than them for not reacting out of aggression or jealousy."

She'd definitely wash your clothes for you and provide some nice PJs to sleep in.

"Do you wanna watch a movie with me?"

Magdalyn Rose

She'd take you in her arms and soothe your crying.

"Come, my love, prep breakfast for the shelter with me. Cooking is as good as therapy, no?"

You would act as her sous chef as she instructed you on prepping the meal.

The longer into the meal prep the more your worries were forgotten.

She served you up some nice hot biscuits for dinner, instructing you to eat.

If you crashed out at her place, she'd take you home in the morning.

Aaron Jones

If you came to Aaron after your bad day, he'd pull you to his reading nook, serve you up some coffee and sit with you while you talked about it.

"Feeling better?" "A little." "Good. You're not allowed to be sad in my presence. Only happy thoughts."

He'd kiss your forehead, pet your hair.

"How about I make you forget your worries?"

Samuel Lowe

Sam would cuddle you, let you cry it out.

"Let's watch a movie. You can tell me all about it when you're ready."

He's very patient, but usually very tired. He'd want you to talk about it, but knows patience is key with you.

"Can we just go to bed, please?" "Of course. Anything to make you feel better."

Greyson Reyes

"You know, typically I'd think your tears are hot, but I don't think that'd fly in this situation."

He'd sit you on his lap and soothe you. Offer his advice.

"You need a hot meal and to rest."

He'd check on you throughout the night to make sure you were sleeping peacefully.

[kosi-annec]

[HAIKYUU!!] Season 2 episode 23

HOOO BOY, THE FINAL SET THAT'LL DECIDE THEIR FATE. I am not emotionally ready for whoever wins, in my heart I want my crows to move up, but I also really wanna see seijo go up against shiratorizawa

Shit ok seijo got 1st point, but this is fine, it's fine

NICE SAVE ASAHI! FUCK- NOT MAD DOG

YES NICE KARASUNO! THEIR 1ST POINT

Pft- the baldies be fightin, someone get these dogs away from each other lmao

Jeez, karasuno and seijo always neck-n-neck, tho i guess that's a compliment to karasuno, cuz that means they're close to seijo's level

CMON ASAHI MAKE IT GOOD! HELL YEAHHH GOOD SERVE!!

It hit the net! Cmon crows pick it up!!

oh shit- AHA! GOOD EYE TSUKI!! THAT'S OUR SHIELD!!

Ofc Tanaka is picking a fight with mad dog, that is so him. But it's also a pretty good strategy, piss the guy off enough to start aiming at you. It becomes a lot easier to predict him

Good eye tsuki! For a guy who needs glasses he is perceptive

Karasuno's in the lead! Lets fucking gooo!

Ey? A flashback? Aight it was bout time we got mad dog's backstory. Idk who these background characters are in the flashback, but i love the girl's vibes lol

Ok who tf is this hasn't-slept-in-days lookin guy, am I supposed to know him???

"go scold mad dog, bad!" LMAO FUCKIN OIKAWA

OH FUCK MAD DOG'S OUT OF THE FIELD! Honestly it was gonna happen sooner or later

Brown haired dude (idk the background char's names ok) finally speakin up after so many close up shots of him reacting to mad dog's attitude on the field

Oh thank you haikyuu for giving me the guy's name. Now, wtf is yahaba's deal??

Ah so that's his deal, damn thought they had something more personal going on. But tbf this guy's feelings are valid

HOLY SHIT- HOW COME I DIDN'T KNOW THIS GUY UNTIL NOW?? The animation for this scene was so fucking smooth, all to make a background char look badass. This guy has been given the temporary spotlight rn and he is making the most of it

... Damn i need to see these two interact more, I'm invested now fuck

EY! Kage using his knowledge of being with them to his advantage!

Uh oh, mad dog's had his pep talk, he's gonna get the next point for sure

Ohhh, so mad dog's used to acting alone becuz from past experience, he's been left alone. No one's really tried to confront him whenever he gets worked up, instead just leaving him to boil. So his surprised face to being served by oikawa is him not expecting to be given another chance after so many screw ups

... God this show just makes me root for all the chars here huh, not in volleyball, but in character development. Like goddamn there isn't a single char here that I dislike. I love this show

Mad dog found a team he can actually rely and trust awww

Aight back to the action. COME ON KARASUNO!

Uh oh hinata's getting frustrated, kage snap some sense into him

15-15 again, always neck-n-neck

HOO BOY NICE SAVE DAICHI! AH shit they still got the point

"with me around, you can beat anyone" very interesting wording hinata

LMAO FUCKIN "i have a ballsy reason" I CAN'T HSKHSKS

Oh shit- THE GUITAR IS PLAYING, THEIR SONG IS PLAYING. SPECIAL ATTACK COMING IN!! Uh oh ADJUST KAGE! A DUMP LETS GOOO! Omg that could be a new move they could do

[flowersdaggersviolasandblood]

Flower Girl

Name: Pero Ophiin (She/Her)

Race: Wood Half-Elf

Class: Druid (Circle of the Land)

Background: Outlander

WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD!

At this point and time, nearly all my characters are reaching that "going to ACT 2" phase, so I'm gonna push to get everyone (mainly the main 4 right now because they're a lot of fun) past the "Save Halsin" quest. Picking up where we left off with Pero, she accidentally agreed to help criminal mercenaries to secure a package and their possibly dead "mailmen." While searching for them, Pero and the gang ran into a whole pack of Gnolls harassing 2 men trapped in a cave. A fight was inevitable and they were able to rescue the trapped men; discovering they were the exact people they were looking for.

Rugan is still fucking hot tho, like goddamn lmao. I also went back to Auntie Ethel and got rid of her too. Now, one thing that kinda annoys me with this game is the knockout system. During the fight against the Hag, Ethel decided to shapeshift herself to look like Mayrina . Not wanting to accidentally kill the real one, I toggled the non-lethal attack option and knocked her out. However, I don't like that the game just automatically assumes you killed her (they do acknowledge that she's knocked out however) and not let you interact with the knocked out NPC aside from looting them. I wanted to help Mayrina up and trigger her conversation, but I was locked out of doing so. Still completed the quest tho.

After finally finishing up the whole Risen Road thing, I decided to go after Halsin. I accidentally triggered the Githyanki cutscene. I didn't immediately go after them, especially since I didn't have Lae'zel in the party, so I opt to continue my path towards the Goblin Camp. Funnily enough, I continued to skill the Blighted Village and the Goblin party by coming from the Risen Road. I still got the Disembodied Voice cutscene with the BBEGs showing up and Shadowheart explaining her whole deal.

While going through the Goblin camp, I tried to quickly get rid of the Goblin leaders, utilizing the sneak sneak as much as possible to gain the advantage. After taking care of them, we get Halsin, bring him up to speed about the Grove, learn about Moonrise Towers, and saved the day. I accidentally gave Shadowheart and Gale the wrong idea during the Party because I just wanted Pero to make nice conversation, but accidentally gave myself the option to fuck either of them that night. But sorry, once I got Halsin it was over for literally everyone.

Right now, I got enough goody points with everyone that I accidentally (and intentionally) created a harem lmao. Even Lae'zel wanted a small piece of that pink-hair ass. Roleplay-wise, I like to think that Pero is just so sickeningly caring that these hardasses can't be mad at her. Pero has been nothing but respectful to everyone's wishes about their own personal baggage; letting them come forward about their shit in their own time and terms. Unlike my other TAVs where the second something sussy baka happens they want to know about that shit immediately.

Hell, I don't know how you guys didn't even get laid by Astarion, mf literally is easy. Such a babygirl. Also, I accidentally fucked up Karlach's quest because I forgor to talk with Dammon after finding a piece of that infernal metal and immediately went to party with the Tieflings. So now he's not at the Grove anymore. Hopefully we'll find him at Baldur's Gate or find someone who can serve as a temp replacement. As per usual, Pero met her dream Guardian, a striking Human male.

The story behind this one is that while Pero was trying to save citizens in Baldur's Gate during the Mindflayer invasion, a Flaming Fist member was also attempting to get people to safety. The pair tried to go into hiding after saving all they could, but he got snatched up and Pero would follow suit. For the longest time, Pero thought the poor man dead as she didn't see him on the ship nor after the crash. So seeing his face in her dreams got her asking multiple questions. Regardless, Pero still doesn't feel comfortable trying to utilize the tadpoles, so she gives them up to Karlach and Astarion.

Pero would also learn a bit more about Gales condition and how his situation merely repeats history of the last time someone thought they could fuck around with the Goddess of Magic. Gale, being a wizardly bitch, decided to go to the last site where a powerful Wizard named Karsus tried to usurp the previous Goddess of Magic, Mystral, which caused a massive catastrophe where magic was completely null. Gale hoped to procure a small thing of Netherese magic in hopes to impress Mystra, the current Goddess of Magic, so that he may learn more of the Weave untapped, but it cost him being a ticking time bomb that could level a city and then some. Despite being frightened of this unstable power that Gale now holds within himself, Pero wouldn't feel right to just leave Gale to his own devices. As if he can't find another magical item to eat, he will explode. Not only that, but Pero's altruistic personality refuses to leave him behind to a saddening end, so she allows Gale to continue traveling with the group.

Now that we have Halsin in the group, he explains that the possible solution to the parasite problem lies at Moonrise Towers. Long ago, a Shar worshipper named Ketheric Thorn made a secret stronghold that could connect Moonrise towers to the currently ruined temple of Selune. He rallied a near army of Dark Justiciars dedicated to Shar to raid the place, but he failed before he could even launch the attack. Halsin was one of the many individuals who fought against this man and witnessed the shadowing blight of the Shadow Curse that plagues the lands to Moonrise Towers. Filled with guilt that he couldn't do more, he wishes to kill two birds with one stone by getting rid of the curse AND finding a curse to the parasite. Pero happily allows Halsin to travel with her camp to reach Moonrise Towers. For this, Pero will continue towards the mountain pass as she hasn't forgotten the Githyanki Crech and keeping that as a back pocket curiosity as they move to discover what they can offer in terms of a cure. In the mean time, before we continue to ACT 2, I'm gonna finish up all that is left in ACT 1!

[marquisoforder]

Ranking the Nine Princes of Hell from TSC from the least to most sexy

(Technically 8 cause Lucifer is just a chair but eh)

8) Coming in at dead last we have Asmodeus cause I hate this generic white man energy he’s giving here. He’s the demon of Lust cause the only way he could get bitches was by tricking and manipulating them. He’s serving Frankenstein’s Monster had a baby with a CEO from a yaoi hentai realness here. The Worst of the Demons? More like the Worst Dressed of the demons! Black tie with a white suite? 🤮Sir are you out of your goddamn mind? Did Raphael bonk you on the head until your fashion sense left? -1/10 you are simply hideous sir

7) Coming in at number 7 we have Mammon looking like Jeff Bezos’s capitalistic wet dream. How are you literally all about money but still look tacky as hell? This man shows up to the MET Gala in a tux with no effort whatsoever I can just feel it in my bones. All these eyes but you still couldn’t locate a better fit. I was gonna ask why he looks constipated but then I read the part where he eats blood and gold for every meal so he’s obviously suffering from indigestion. (And it shows king, it really shows) 0/10 - Do fucking better and get a plastic surgery or a proper diet with all the money you are hoarding up

6) At number six we’ve got Belphegor. Honestly I’d have ranked him much higher if it wasn’t for the goat skull situation going on there like what’s up with that king? Is this a political statement? Or are you just taking covid precautions? Either way I can’t rank you higher than six with that face. (Even tho the body is definitely 1. Like you mean to tell me a demon with abs like those is the demon of laziness? He ain’t lazy if he’s grinding in the gym which he apparently is cause he’s legit shredded.) also kinda cute that you were married to a mortal. Maybe if they pegged you you wouldn’t have denounced the institution of marriage. (Try it next time. I’m certainly up if you are 👀 haha jk unless 😳) 5/10 - Sorry about your goat head

5) On the position of number five we have the one and only Leviathan! He’s not a fallen angel! He’s not like other girls! He’s edgy, he’s sensitive, he’s sad, nobody understands him. He kins Ebony Dementia Darkness Raven Way. But in a sexy way. I like what you’ve done with the hair. Paired with completely black eyes he’s essentially the perfect Scene Boy™️ from back in the day. He would have been Tumblr famous. Even now he has the capacity to become one of Tumblr’s sexy man (derogatory) cause he has the same vibe as Jotun Loki. 6/10 - No Comments cause I’m worried he might actually just eat me.

4) Belial is number four cause while he’s definitely good looking there’s something about him that screams I’d Mansplain Your Own Period To You. Probably invested in Bitcoin and trying to overheat the planet to death. Not gonna lie whatever he’s doing with his hands is actually giving model, it’s giving Timothy chalamet, it’s giving white boy who paints nails and wears rings and doesn’t shut up about it. The hair is actually really cool and I wish my hair looked that effortlessly good. Whatever hair products you stole from Brad Mondo, I want some rn 😤 6.5/10 - idk still kinda basic tho

3) Moving on to the top three we have Azazel! I liked him when we saw him in TMI. He’s giving fuck boy archie andrews here. Probably says baby girl unironically. Are his pants sagging or are they two toned? That’s a secret he’ll never tell. The reason he was cast down from hell is actually because god was jealous of that one lock of hair that falls perfectly across his forehead. His nails are done, his hair is perfect, his abs look rock hard. All in all has that all-American rugged good looks to him. 7/10- red hair actually looks good on you king keep it up

2) Our runner up is none other than Astaroth! Look at that serve! Look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn’t belong on the cover of a cheap erotica novel about fallen angels!!! The glance downwards, the wings bared, the contrast of the red cloth with the black wings!! He did not come to play because for Astaroth, the world is a runaway and he’s a model. The luscious hair and the sexy torso scars truly sets this man apart. I’m not big on selling my soul but for you king, I’d fr put that shit on eBay for 50 cents. You think you were misjudged and pleads your case? Lemme be your defense attorney king, I’ll fight God in a Denny’s parking lot for you no questions asked. 9/10 - Unlike Belphegor I still believe in the institution of marriage so ahahaha 👀😌 iykwim

1) And finally our top boy from Hell is… none other than Samael himself! That cute lil feather on the hat paired with that Jack sparrow red scarf really shows he knows how to work a fit. The rolled up sleeves got me 👀 at his forearms like I’m a Victorian man seeing a bit of ankle. This demon legit looks like a man young Taylor Swift would write a song about. He’s young, he’s hip, he probably has a fashion tiktok and does mad transitions from outfit to outfit. 10/10 wouldn’t do this man’s sexiness justice cause he’s simply too sexy for such a trivial scale.

[weepinglevi]

patience is a virtue

summary: college!au. all aged up. eren and reader continue with their sexual escapades. find part one here! warnings: 18+ minors dni. dirty text messages, dirty talk. dom!eren and bratty reader (i suppose?). throat fucking and semi-public sex. (no p in v tho) word count: around 3.5k A/N: i have a love/hate relationship with this eren ahaha, he's been ruling my brainrot ever since the last part so i hope you enjoy! there will be a part three eventually, so be on the lookout for that! enjoy your read and feedback is greatly appreciated! xx

you awake to your phone vibrating somewhere next to you. the hope of it only being a one-time occurrence quickly proven to be false as it just wouldn't stop. brr-brr. a second of silence. brr-brr. pause. brr-brr.

taking a mental note to never go to sleep again without turning off your phone, you roll over to your other side and try to ignore it. you could simply answer the texts, but that meant you'd have to open your eyes. and that whoever was texting you would win this weird battle you've just come up with in your head.

"if you don't pick up your goddamn phone, i'll smack you over the head with it," sasha groans from the other side of your shared dorm, words coming slurry with her tiredness.

brr-brr.

"i could also stick it up your ass, your decision," a pillow comes flying to your head, serving as enough of a warning for you to sit up in your bed, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

"quit moaning, i'll turn it off now," you yawn, feeling around your bed for your phone, "you never hear me complaining about the shit you do in the middle of the night."

"that's because my shit is funny and not fucking annoying," she scoffs, followed by a muted thump as she is sinking back down into her pillows. sasha's way of ending the conversation.

you find your phone half-tucked underneath your pillow, the display already lighting up again. someone is desperate for attention, you think to yourself and unlock your phone with an annoyed sigh. the messages were coming from an unknown number.

thinking about your wet pussy. this is eren, btw. historia gave me your number. i told her you wouldn't mind you don't mind, do you?

in a matter of seconds, your heart is beating in your throat once more, just like this afternoon in that godforsaken computer lab. ears growing hot at his words, you could almost imagine the sound of him laughing at you again. with trembling fingers, you scroll down further.

anyway, let's do it again sometime i told you. i'll never let you forget about how you moaned my name i'm also not forgetting about how badly i want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours, so it's a win-win see ya, then

staring down at your phone, you don't know if you should answer him. and even if you would answer his texts, what the hell should you say? "fucking bastard," the words escaping your mouth before even realizing that you'd better keep quiet. the only thing that could make this situation any worse was if sasha were to wake up again.

scratch that, you think as you see eren's new messages.

how badly do you want to suck my cock? you looked really hot today, covered in my cum what, you're shy again?

there are two ways this could go: either you stand up, put on some clothes, and then go to eren's dorm to let hell rain upon him - or simply mute your phone and ignore him. deciding to go with the latter, you lie back down and save his number as "fuckhead", a small grin forming on your face. if he wants to be childish, then you can be, too.

the display still lighting up at a steady pace, you have to fight the urge to open his other messages. to physically prevent yourself from grabbing your phone again, you put your hands between your thighs and sigh. what the hell have i gotten myself into?

"so, who am i gonna have to teach some manners today?", sasha asks in the morning, "because there are only two valid reasons for sending that many texts in the middle of the night," she sits up in her bed and bends over to reach for her phone, "either someone's dead or there's a food sale."

cringing at the thought of having to read the countless other messages eren has sent throughout the night, you try to laugh at her comment, "of course, when there's food involved, you're all for it."

"girl's gotta eat," she claims, thankfully being too distracted by something on her phone to notice your strange behavior, "i'm gonna be back later than usual today, connie wants me to be his wingman again."

starting to go off on a tangent about how connie should just get a dating app already, sasha's words become more of background noise to you. you want to know what he wrote. what he has in store for you. at the same time, you curse yourself out. you're turning into a headless chicken and all of it because of eren fucking yeager?

you nod here and there, offering her a "yes" at what you believe to be fitting moments, desperately hoping she doesn't catch up on your restlessness. all the while the two of you are getting ready for the day. this goes on for a few more minutes and you have no clue what she's talking about now, so you decide to grab your phone and stand up.

"i'm gonna go for a run around campus, you want coffee?" you blurt out, interrupting her monologue. the device in your hand feels as if it's burning through your skin. slipping into your trainers, you're already halfway out the room, her perplexed "uh- yes, please," being muffled by the door closing behind you.

it's still warm outside - not as hot as yesterday, but warm enough for you to be glad to have forgotten your cardigan earlier. you let out a deep breath, trying to clear your mind. even though you told sasha you'd be out for a run, you walk at a slow pace.

some people are already wandering around campus, most of them on their way to a lecture. at this time in the morning, everyone has their heads full with their own worries so no one notices you slowly making your way off-campus.

arriving at a little park surrounded by trees, you sit down on the bench farest off. you notice your heart fluttering like the wings of a hummingbird when pulling the phone out of your back pocket. fuck him, you think once again while typing in your code. fuck him for making me feel this way.

12 unread messages.

didn't seem all too shy when i had my hand wrapped around your throat no need to play hard to get when i already had you if that makes sense? haven't fucked you yet doesn't mean i won't get to fuck you

all you want is to feel appalled by these messages. to screenshot them and send them to the dean. maybe even to his mother. sickened with yourself though, you already feel the familiar warmth creeping up your body, curling up in your abdomen.

i know you want it, too how fucking needy you were for me getting yourself off in public to the thought of me maybe you can tell me what exactly you were thinking of? gonna make sure to let your dreams come true, princess

pet names? you clench your fist at the thought of eren leaning over you, breathing the word princess into your ear. you have an inkling that he'd say it mockingly; spitting it out whilst gathering your hair in a ponytail, arching your back forcefully, and slamming his length into you without mercy.

no. you hate pet names. at least, you've always hated them.

i'm gonna find out if you're ignoring me right now remember, you're not the best actress. fucking suck at it, actually wouldn't want to be punished now, would we?

his last message echoed in your head. still coming to terms with the fact of what happened yesterday, now you have to deal with a whole new revelation: eren yeager being a cocky motherfucker pushing all the right buttons for you. even though you want to blast his ass for this, the mere thought of him being near you again is too sweet of an imagination.

you want to play this game, too. for whatever reason keep on riding this high, and you just know that no one could do it quite as well as eren can. somehow you can only imagine taking him on this ride with you, no one else.

so, in that manner you decide to ignore his messages. if he's desperate enough to keep on sending them in the middle of the night, you're sure it won't be long until he sends another text. and it would give him enough reason to try and punish you, whatever that might entail – you're excited to find out. fucking nervous, too. but then again, who wouldn't be?

you stand up and put your phone in your back pocket, a sense of excitement surrounding your steps as you turn left to make your way to the nearest coffee shop.

"something tells me you're ignoring me," of course, the moment eren's voice comes up behind you, you fucking flinch like a little bird that's been scared away, "mostly because i've seen you reading the messages, but what do i know?"

you turn to see him clutching his heart dramatically, "don't play with my feelings like this," he swoons, bringing one hand to his forehead. he's laughing again, all white teeth and bright smiles – you realize this is the kind of eren you rarely get to see. not the cocky bastard he normally portrays; right now, he seems to be a happy-go-lucky kind of guy, just enjoying himself. still, you want to show him that you can play just as well as he can.

crossing your arms in front of your chest, you slightly raise a brow, trying your hardest to not look as nervous as you feel. it's a lost cause though because you can already feel the tips of your ears glowing with heat again. can't things go my way for once? just once? you think and chew the inside of your cheek. you felt so sure of yourself just moments ago. how the hell can he have this sort of effect on you?

suddenly, his whole demeanor changes. before, he seemed laid-back, entertained by the game he played with you. now he leans forward, hands in the pockets of his jacket and an almost cruel smile forming on his lips, "don't try to challenge me in this. you'll lose."

you know that you should feel frightened. terrified, even. he's looking like a lion preparing to jump the antelope, a sense of alarming calmness around him that's causing the small hairs on your neck to stand up. but alas, the way he's looking at you seems to have the same effect on you his scent has.

"i told you not to ignore me," eren says and takes a few steps closer to you, "yet here you are, doing it again." the chuckle leaving his lips a stark contrast to his stern gaze, still trained on you. somehow, you feel awfully small again - still not frightened, though. you stare right back at him, tilting your head slightly as if you wanted to say "so what?"

"are you seriously that desperate to be punished?"

better now than never, you think and once again place a courtly smile on your lips, "seems like it."

for a split second, you see eren's smug look turn into a genuine smile. realizing that you're up for his game, he lets out a smooth whistle, "you do surprise me."

"if you wouldn't always be so full of yourself, i'm sure you'd have recognized this sooner," you can feel the confidence growing in yourself again. clinging on to it, you take a step toward him, "i'm full of surprises."

"oh, yeah? i bet you are," from the corner of your eye, you can see him lifting his hand. before thinking twice about it, you bat it away, "i'm not one for public displays of affection."

oh, it is on– eren's smirk turns into a full-fledged grin as he takes a grip of your wrist, "you sure about that?" lifting your hand to his face, for a short moment you think he's going to suck on your fingers again. but all he does is place a faint kiss on the back of your hand, "didn't seem like it yesterday."

"you weren't supposed to see."

"but i'm so glad i did," he leans forward, the two of you standing so close you can feel his breath on your face, "or else we wouldn't have this kind of fun right now."

still having a hold of your hand, he lifts his other to your jaw, gently tracing his thumb across your lower lip, "you looked so pretty in your skirt yesterday."

taking a leap of faith, you grab his hand, holding it in place and letting your tongue run across the tip of his thumb before biting down playfully. there's a hiss and then eren pulls away and grabs your arm, "come with me."

finally, you think and let him guide you to wherever he wants, let's have some fun, then.

on your way out of the park, you pass jean and marco. even though they stand to greet eren, he just raises his hand whilst not breaking his pace, "gotta go, have an assignment to work on."

"never seen you that determined, but go off," jean laughs.

before you know it, you're inside one of the countless maintenance sheds. pushing you against the wall, eren's movements seem to become more and more erratic by the second. pinning your arms over your head, he's looking down at you, breathing heavily. "you have no idea what you just got yourself into," licking his lips, he chuckles.

"oh, but i think i actually do," you smile innocently, fucking glad to have found your normal self again. admittedly, eren threw you off your game since yesterday – but it's just going to play into your hands now. he won't see it coming until it's hitting him straight in the face; that you're just as messed up as he seems to be.

"then prove it," he breathes against your ear, "tell me how badly you want it."

the stuffy air inside the dimly lit shed doesn't help with keeping eren's scent away from you. being so close to him, looking up into his shadowed face and right into his dilated eyes; you're like putty in his hands. you try to move forward, to touch him in some way because you just know that he'll feel so good under your skin.

"now now, princess," he moves even closer, wedging you between himself and the wall, "how about we learn some patience, first?"

you nod, but then grind up against his thigh, hissing through your teeth, "i worry i'll be a real handful." you know you could very well move your hands, too – eren seems to still be testing the waters as to how far he can go with you. but with him actually letting you grind on him; you decide to play into his hands.

your breaths grow quicker as you keep on, pace becoming erratic. all you want is to get rid of your track pants – come to think of it, what you actually want is eren under you whilst you continuously bounce on his cock. you want to hear him call you princess and immediately after call you his little whore because that's exactly what you are.

eren has a little smile on his lips and you know you should ask yourself why – because you're doing exactly what he has forbidden you to do – but you're too far gone. the heat growing, you feel your knees buckle but he's holding you up; one hand now resting on your waist for support. you're so close –

and then he pulls away from you, nearly causing you to topple over. chest heaving, you place your hands on your knees for balance, "what the fuck was – "

"patience is a virtue," interrupting you with a laugh, but his voice heavy with lust, "thought i might give you a lesson you're ought to remember."

you look up to see eren palming his erection through his pants, standing about an arm's length away from you, "but i have to admit, hearing you getting yourself off is fucking hot."

biting your teeth together, you straighten up and take a step toward him – only for him to click his tongue in disapproval, "you're gonna stay right there," tugging at his pants he raises his eyebrow, "i told you what i want, get on your knees for me."

"the fuck i will," you spit out and make a move again, grasping for his waistband. but eren is quick to take a hold of your hand and pushes you back to the wall, "come on, now, princess," he chuckles but his eyes are concentrated at you, "you want this, don't you?". he's asking for permission, the thought feeling very comforting to you. and also, very excited for what's about to come.

"of course, i do," you answer him earnestly, resting the back of your head against the wall, "or else i wouldn't be here."

"fantastic," he breathes, a little smile playing in the corners of his mouth, "then get down on your knees," placing his hands on your shoulders, weighing you down, "i won't ask again."

the change of tone in his voice has you nodding, slowly sinking onto your knees, you're bursting in anticipation. one hand finally pulling down his pants, he runs his other through your hair, then down your jaw until it comes to rest on your chin.

thumbing at your lower lip, he groans "do i have to be careful?"

you just shake your head no. then you break away from his gaze, fixing your eyes on the bobbing cock in front of you. it's tip leaking with precum already, you remember how badly you wanted to lick it away yesterday.

taking his cock at its base, you bend forward and slide your tongue around its head. the salty taste sending shudders down your spine, you make sure to lift your eyes again once you prepare to take it all down your throat. your other hand snakes up to his balls, slightly tugging them which earns you a moan from eren, and fuck, you're so wet at the sound alone, you let go of his cock and slide one hand down to your own center.

he gathers your hair in one hand, taking the base of his throbbing cock in the other, "bet this is what you thought of yesterday," he slowly but surely pulls your head in closer, "of how i fuck the words right out of you."

bucking your hips into your own hand, you can do nothing but whimper at his words. because yes, this is exactly what you imagined. he's only halfway in and you're already struggling to breathe, but not wanting him to stop you hold your breath and push down even further; trying desperately not to moan.

the tears in your eyes causing your vision to be blurry, you attempt to blink them away.

"shit – ", he's pumping into you now, rubbing the tears from your cheeks and then placing both his hands on your head, "you're doing so well – "

getting lost in his words, the fear of being caught is so far away; you finally moan around his cock. saliva soaking the hem of his shirt, you can't seem to take his whole length, no matter how hard you try. you're a fucking mess under him and the thought alone is nearly sending you over the edge.

he's trying to pull away now and you know he's close, so you snake your hand around his hip, hoping this is enough of a sign to him that if he dared to cum anywhere else than down your throat, you'd bite him.

"you really – " his voice is hoarse, "fuck – this is fucking perfect," he moans as he comes to the realization. leaning his arm against the wall behind you, he's fucking himself into your mouth, his panting and the sound of your choking filling the room.

you close your eyes to blink the tears away again, but eren pulls on your hair, "no – look at me."

with this the knot in your belly explodes, leaving you holding on to eren's hip as you ride the waves of electricity that are running through your body like lava.

"such a good little whore – " he's gone as well, holding your head in place as he's pumping his load down your throat, leaving you no other option than to swallow – which you eagerly do. you feel his legs shaking under your hands.

once again, eren hands you his shirt to clean your face. this time, you take it with a smile, noting that, "i still have your other one."

"don't worry, i'll come get it sometime when sasha's away," the two of you know exactly what this means – neither of you are planning on this to be over anytime soon.

"i'll let you know, then," you nod and stand up, hoping you don't look as well-fucked as you feel, and make your way to the door, "she's gone most of the time."

taglist: @jeageristbaby @icedkoffees @blondeboyfriend @peachysimp @levibasketcase @zimzalabim1110 @droolingoverfanfics

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[oreosmama]

He Returns from an Away Game (Haikyuu!! Headcanons)

*GIFs not mine*

A/N: This idea was just too cute I couldn’t pass on it! Don’t know why, I’m just in a really “write-y” mood today. Hope you like it!

Word count: 950

Hinata Shouyou:

He’s the type to jump on you right when he sees you in the airport.

“YNYOUREHEREIMISSEDYOUSOMUCHILOVEYOUCOMEWITHNEXTTIME!”

Talks so goddamn fast you can’t figure out wth he’s saying

Essentially he just freaking wants you to come with him to away games from now on. 

“The hotel room’s big enough! So is the bed!”

Innocent boi doesn’t know what he’s insinuating. 

Literally bouncing and spinning you around the entire time while telling you about the trip. 

At the house he literally wants to help you do everything, hanging around your waist and kissing your cheek every five minutes. 

Baby boi is just a sweetheart who missed you bad. 

Many cuddles to make up for lost time

Kageyama Tobio:

He’s so excited to see you

Like he starts running toward you in the airport but then he feels like he has to play it cool so he slows down and starts whistling. (the definition of “oh shit, act natural”)

When he’s finally in front of you and you hug the life out of him, he has the gall to scoff

“Calm down, I was only gone for a couple weeks.”

But when you pull away he forces you back in. “Not yet tho.”

He’s the one who’s gonna buy you a million souvenirs bc he couldn’t figure out what you liked… even if the game was only a few towns over. 

Kags just wants something for you to remember him by when he’s gone so you don’t forget about him (dumb boi thinks it’s that easy🤦‍♀️)

More cuddles, but just like lowkey ones at night. 

(but when you get up to go to the bathroom he freaks out about you leaving)

(“stay” “I gotta pee” “i don’t care you’re not going anywhere”)

Oikawa Tooru:

Oooh

Ooh

Oh boy this man missed you, like damn

Remember that scene where his lil nephew snitched about him crying after his break up

Yeah… he’s a tearful boi

Like he sees you in the airport waiting for him and he starts tearing up

“YN!” He’s wailing at this point. “IM NEVER LEAVING YOU EVER AGAIN!”

Chills out after getting his solid five minutes of YN hugs. 

“Ok so yeah we kicked ass.”

Takes you out on a romantic date. Flowers, classy restaurant, the works. He wants to treat you well after not being able to see each other for so long. 

Long walks on the beach, watch the sunset. 

This dude is trying to woo you like he did back in high school

And it works

“I missed you” sex on the beach. Nothing beats that. 

Really tho when this guy returns from an away game he’s all about getting right back into the romantic groove with you.

Oikawa’s voice saying “Did you miss me?” w that fucking smirk= 100/10 panties are flying

Bokuto Koutarou: 

Pfft, are you kidding me??

Any away game it’s freaking guaranteed Bokuto facetimed you every goddamn day just bc he couldn’t stand being away from you for too long. 

Even so he still tackles you in the airport. 

It was the one time you looked away from the entrance to check the time on your phone and he still managed to catch you off guard. 

Ever see those videos of a soldier returning home to see his dog? Mmhmm, that’s Bokuto with you

All. Over. You. 

Face nuzzling your neck all during the walk through the airport. 

Hand on your thigh as y’all drive home. 

More “I missed you” sex, and then cuddling for the rest of the day. Like damn. 

When he wakes up the next day and you’re not in his arms, bro literally s o b s

“YN LEFT ME MY LIFE IS OVER!”

You determine there’s not even a point to trying to serve him breakfast in bed anymore considering he’ll immediately notice when you’re not in his arms anymore. 

Even so, morning, middle of the day, and evening cuddles combined with him sticking to you like a koala lasts about a week long (literally attached to your hip 24/7), and then he calms down. 

Until the next away game...

Ushijima Wakatoshi: 

Psshh, you thought he missed you??

FOOL!

Literally approaches you so slowly in the airport.

Like this motherfucker walks in slow motion. 

Customary hug and kiss.

And then you walk out to the car holding hands. 

You get to the car and are trying to get inside but like… h e w o n t l e t g o

“Uhh, Toshi?”

“Hmm?”

You’re just sitting in the car with the door open and he’s standing outside still holding your hand like it’s glued in his. 

“You mind?”

“I have no idea what you’re referencing.”

Five minutes later he’s like “oh yeah, that.”

When you finally start driving home it’s like he’s trying to strangle the steering wheel. White knuckles and if looks could kill, any car in the road would be six feet under. 

At home, all bets are off. And all clothes. 

He just… missed you a lot. 

Waking up at noon the next day in those muscular arms. One of his hands are tracing along your face while the other holds your hip. He’s got that husky morning voice and ruffled hair covers his forehead as he watches you, keeping you flush against his chest. 

A slight twitch in the corner of his mouth.

“I missed you.”

Of course you gotta say it back so you can see that once-in-a-lifetime smile. 

“I missed you too.”

[leia-imogen]

aaron & the family he's found all by himself; vol. 1 // vol. 2

( ft. the first meeting & the first family game night )

okay, rundown of his first meeting w the vixens!

the vixens don't really like the foxes. they cheer at their games and all, but outside of that, they mostly stick with the football players

bcs, well, the foxes are,, intimidating and most of the vixens don't get how or why katelyn started dating one

especially one half of the terrifying duo that is the twinyards. like these tiny blonde angst goblins have absolutely zero chill, and this is the backliner one, the one that shattered the nose of a dude basically twice his size

they may be short as fuck but they're scary, and the vixens are worried that he might break katelyn's heart

but katelyn's sure about aaron minyard, and when cleo softly asks, "is he worth it?" she knows her answer is a yes

savannah and the rest of the girls aren't convinced tho, so she asks aaron if he'll meet them for one of the afterparties they have after games

he agrees after seeing the hopeful look on her face

and surprise, surprise, it isn't a complete disaster!!

see, aaron has a habit of mirroring the nature of the person he's with. in the book, we mostly see him as an asshole bcs it's from neil's pov, and neil, as much as i adore him, is an asshole

i think that when he's with nicky ( someone he loves and trusts ), he's like, nicer. it's not in his nature to be cheery or anything but he's less,, hostile? and way more relaxed

and katelyn's been nothing but sweet and polite to him, bcs katelyn's sweet and polite till you give her a reason not to be

so he's sweet and polite back, or at least, sweet and polite as aaron minyard can get.

yeah, he's definitely interesting enough, clever and quick-witted enough, respectful and loyal and insanely talented enough, that katelyn decides he's worth it. doubts he'll ever get boring

and yes, she knows this is a big risk, bcs she knows the foxes' rep, knows how fucked up he must to secure a place on the psu foxes, notices how aaron flinches when she makes any sudden movement

but you know what? fuck it

so when aaron tells her his strange, twisted little deal with his brother, katelyn's willing to fight for him

and after nearly 2 months of this, she drags him to the vixens with their fingers interlocked and a hope in her heart that they'd play nice like she's asked ( practically begged ) them to

aaron's buzzing a bit with nervous energy. it's very endearing, how his eyes had lit up at the sight of her, then how she felt her anxiety about the night melt away into excitement

sav tries, bless her, tries to engage aaron in half-hearted conversation about exy ( which she hates ) and aaron tries back, but that fizzles out bcs for someone on a full-ride exy scholarship, aaron doesn't like exy at all

thank god that marissa, who's been trying to be less of a bitch all night, bless her too, lets it slip that sav detests exy

"okay, i can't anymore. minyard, savannah actually hates exy and she hates the foxes too, but we're hoping that you're an exception."

aaron, holding back a laugh: honestly? same.

sav: oh thank fucking GOD we have something to talk about then

"yeah, the entire sport sucks, doesn't it? i literally play it at college level and i still have barely figured out the goddamn rules."

"exactly! and my entire family's fucking obsessed for some reason, it's so annoying! ugh and the foxes suck even more, they're all so goddamn rude for no reason. except maybe the cute goalie."

". . ."

"eww not your brother, i meant renee walker,, and maybe you're not too bad either, minyard."

"you flatter me."

katelyn watches their exchange with more than a little amusement. aaron's not smiling, but his features have softened and he's flushed from the alcohol he'd had and she can't rly believe that this is the boy who they all thought would break her heart

bcs later when aaron comes up to her with a cookie dough cupcake ( her favourite ) she didn't even know was served at the party, leans into her so his face is buried in her neck, whispers "thanks for taking me", when she takes in all her friends laughing and chatting and waving at her, when sav gives her a thumbs-up and nods to aaron, she's never felt more whole

like she was part of something bigger than herself

then aaron starts hanging around them more! yeah he saw the look on katelyn's face and he was going to TRY for her or so help him- usually just with katelyn, sav, and cleo

she invites him to the "family game night" sav is making them have, and he's like "sure why not."

he knocks on the door of sav and cleo's dorm and sav lets him in

"yo, minyard! glad you make it, katelyn's out on a donut run but she'll be back soon."

okay,, okay. so he'll,,, what? interact w people?? hell fucking no

then he realises that it's only cleo in the dorm, plugged into her headphones, playing mario kart, and thanks katelyn for ensuring there would only be ppl that like, he didn't mind

the other vixens were okay, but way too LOUD, and aaron wasn't rly up for spending a whole night w them

cleo hands him a controller, an invitation to play, and he takes it gratefully. he and cleo hadn't talked that much at the party, but she was perfectly tolerable so far, which was a good sign

and mario kart was a part of his childhood, one of the only few that nicky's parents had owned, so he and his cousin had spent hours curled up in front of tv trying to beat each other

even tho he beats nicky most of the time, cleo absolutely destroys him. he mentally tries to brush it off as him being rusty ( which he definitely is ) but damn, cleo's good. still, she brushes off the compliment when aaron blurts it out

okay so then katelyn comes back with like way too many donuts and they start playing monopoly gathered around the coffee table

sav insists on putting on some music. wannabe starts playing. she winks at aaron and aaron winks back, still not smiling. cleo snorts and katelyn kisses his cheek

listen, cleo is a monopoly master. soon, she owns over half the board and it's pretty clear she's gonna win, someone ( savannah riley jameson, everyone ) flips the board

"jameson, what the actual fuck."

"shut the hell up, minyard."

"come on, sav, i was winning!"

katelyn's trying to pick up all the pieces and aaron bends down to help her, shaking his head at sav, who pouts and joins them while cleo grins, headphones slung around her shoulders while she perches herself onto the arm of the settee and hums to wake me up before you go-go

next, sav begs them to play twister. cleo's great at most games, but she has a particular dislike for twister, so she's out quick

katelyn is super bendy, bcs she took gymnastics for years, and aaron holds his own surprisingly well, considering the fact that he's short as fuck

sav: katie, right hand red

katelyn, ending up right on top of a blushing aaron: okay, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?

sav: i stopped spinning like 15 turns ago, i'm surprised you didn't notice sooner

eventually aaron collapses and katelyn is hailed as the queen of twister and they spend the next 10 minutes just calling out random spots for katelyn to try

she gets all of them, and aaron is actually smiling now and it doesn't matter that it's only a tiny quirk of his lips, it's something and katelyn cherishes it

they play some sort of surgeon simulator thingy next, and aaron "gonna be a future neurosurgeon" minyard is awesome at it, bcs duh

katelyn's not very good at this. her hands get SHAKY okay

cleo also sucks at this, bcs she keeps getting nervous and having muscle spasms. sav's just doing the dumbest shit bcs it's bringing aaron closer to the edge of cardiac arrest

aaron: jameson holy shit what are you DOING

sav, slicing open the spinal cord: okay so what if i take out the lungs through the back haha

and now sav is sulking over the fact that she hadn't absolutely murdered the others at a game

so she brings out the ultimate game. the game of bastards, one that tears families apart, sets friendships on fire, starts wars too gruesome to be started by anything other than this wretched, cursed artefact. . .

s c r a b b l e

aaron's already having war flashbacks. katelyn groans and goes to make popcorn, bcs this shit's gonna take FOREVER and she knows it. cleo, an english major, is preparing herself for battle with the force of nature that is savannah

"the fuck do you MEAN fergalicious isn't a word???"

"savannah, please."

"no, here, listen to this."

"sav, we were listening to that!" katelyn complains. sav sighs and switches the song back to her "90's bops" playlist, then changes it to "hell yeah feminism" which instantly starts playing run the world ( girls )

katelyn happily starts singing and aaron's not even reluctant to hum along

sav and cleo are still arguing. this has been going on for so long. sav looks ready to flip over the board again, so cleo does it first

katelyn: cleo what the heck

cleo, the tired mom friend: don't fucking curse

aaron is also tired, but in a good way, in kind of that soft lazy droopy way

he falls asleep leaning against the sofa and katelyn's shoulder, with god is a woman playing in the background while sav and cleo continue arguing. cleo is standing on the coffee table. it's true anarchy

he wakes up on the sofa with a blanket thrown over him and sunlight streaming in through the lacy curtains and katelyn making a complete mess of the kitchen in a futile attempt to make breakfast. sav and cleo are draped across each other on the floor

katelyn, struggling to pick up burning toast: morning babe, how did you sleep?

aaron, calmly using a pair of tongs: pretty well. who wants pancakes?

sav, instantly shooting up: DID YOU SAY PANCAKES

so he makes pancakes! nicky taught him as soon as he'd gained custody of the twins, so he's pretty much an expert. he tries to teach katelyn, but then just gives up bcs she's clearly not listening in favour of staring at him

and they all gather around the coffee table and cleo's humming along to the song on her headphones and wow these pancakes are rly good omg

while aaron is chatting to cleo about what video games they should play next, sav whispers, "kate finley, if you don't marry this boy just for his god-tier pancakes, i will."

"sav, you're a lesbian."

"not anymore, i've decided that i am pancake-sexual."

aaron hears all of this btw, bcs cleo stops when she hears them talking. he blushes, and smiles, just a little bit

( if anyone actually cares about this, tell me! shoot me an ask if there's any particular ask you want to see with these characters, or just the foxes! )

[bangchanswolfpelt]

So Here is the clip that all the new Taehyun Tiddies ©️ agenda came from (cause he was literally showing them off in that shirt, trust me, we're one comeback away at most from Shirtless!TXT or Shirtless!Taehyun at least). It's only 5 minutes but features:

Your boy making me question my sanity because him modelling is legendary by this point and he's the biggest cat I've ever wanted in my lap

Shy cute Soobin out of his element but keeping up anyway

Beomgyu.... giving the subbiest vibes whilst serving the visuals of the decade

Vain-as-fuck Taehyun, honestly I hate-love him in this

A still-cute but CONFIDENT, i'm-coming-for-your-heart grown up Huening Kai

thank you for the link!!

god yes, Yeonjun modeling fucking kills me, he absolutely nails that perfect balance of bored-aloof-playful-predatory. suddenly i'm back to primal play like a dog with a fuckin bone, woof woof

i love that Soobin doesn't have to do anything, all he has to do is stand there and exist and it's perfect

your boy talking about being puffy when he has THOSE cheekbones. and he's so proud to show off that he's been working out!! it's goddamn rude of him to be so cute, then immediately turn and give us that side view, i cannot

Gyu's face is so fucking unreal, his features are all so delicate, like he's been sculpted from porcelain, it's too easy to forget how BIG he is—if he ever actually gives us a proper look at that body i might short-circuit

Kai is getting DANGEROUS. i'm fine like 98% of the time and then when i'm not looking, he'll kick me in the fucking face with his expression—and then he gets excited because he's shooting with two bikes and suddenly it's safe again TT TT

i feel like we're not going to be getting them shirtless just yet—they've (all?) been working out, but some of them still aren't the most comfortable with bare skin, remember that one Yeonjun live?—but i feel like their outfits are gonna show off their bodies a lot more as we go on. i'm imagining a lot of crop tops, skin-tight sheer stuff, and incorrigibly teasing cutouts. if i'm wrong, tho, i certainly won't complain >3<

[ichayalovesyou]

Why Does God Need A Starship? (Live Reaction):

I always thought Sybok was cool and interesting and NOW I’m sure! You know it’s times like these that I’m grateful I kinda came back into the Star Trek fandom on my own, because I don’t have to deal with Opinions of older/louder Trekkies. This one kinda has a lukewarm reputation but I’m getting the vibe that I’ll genuinely enjoy it.

Yet again Bones is serving up some LOOKS damn! Look at these elder gays! Spock has rocket boots, amazing. “Because it’s there” and then falling off the goddamn mountain is such a James Tiberius Kirk thing to do 😂 “HI BONES!” These guys omfg. OH MY GOD SO WE DO SEE CAITIANS OUTSIDE THE CARTOONS?? Hell yeah! Also pole dancing to no music, is... weird. Lmao. Also okay I’m sorry Sybok is cool! Sybok is cool and interesting and I really like him! (Not morally obviously dude is shady as all fuck, but a cool dude nontheless!) Always fascinated by Cult Leader type villains, especially when they point out valid criticisms about the society from which they came (important distinction is that the CAUSE is not vilified, but the person and their means, something M****l has largely forgotten)

Awww I may ship Hikura, but Uhura & Scotty are also cute as hell!! Awwwwwww!!!! Old married couples can be so freaking cute. Chekov & Sulu are LOST ohhhh my god this is hilarious, these two idiots. Also can we talk about how Koenig’s eyebrows are slowly gaining sentience and Takei aged like fine wine? Lol. THE HOLY TRINITY OF ELDER GAYS ARE CAMPINGGGG! I’m- oh my god they’re so cute. “Marshmelon” this is cute as hell oh my god. They’re indulging and messing with Spock at the same time I’m dead! They’re singing ohh my god this gonna give me cavities with how sweet it is!!!

This Klingon dude is frickin ROCKING the eyeliner! Bruhhhh was the frickin spotlight necessary! Leave the gays alone SHHHH they’re SLEEPING!! Lmao. Yo I’ll be real this movie starts incredibly slowly but I seriously do not mind, it’s relaxing to not have to worry about missing important details if you look away for a second, it’s nice. WAIT? Does Jim’s shirt say GOT MILK?!!? Oh no, it says go climb a rock, oh thank god [“fatty milkers” flashbacks]

Seriously McCoy is just radiating so much old southern lady/gay energy in this movie and I love it so freaking much “if you ask me (and you haven’t) this is a horrible idea” he sounds like my North Carolina living Meemaw. Wow you can see Spock low-key taking psychic damage from seeing Sybok 😲 V’tosh Ka’tur of the highest order huh? Still disturbing that his government literally cast him out, that’s a red flag 😬. What happened with Sybok is probably a lot of why Spock was pressured to be as Vulcan as he was, I’m sure Sybok was a massive scandal/shame for Sarek, and knowing him, he’d end up making that his kids’ problem not his 🙄

Oh neat!! Chekov is in the in the captain’s chair. Oh this is the song they replaced Nichols’s voice for 😤 but also GIRL THAT WAS BADASS AND THAT SONG WAS A BOP! Quick question, wow these “alien” horses are somehow even worse than the unicorn dog (also it’s a desert planet, wouldn’t it be better to have, like, alien camels or something?) This dude’s Klingon is freakin impeccable btw! He’s really got the vibe down! Jim did you forget how fuckin bananas strong Vulcans are??? Sybok went like 😡☹️ when Spock pointed that laser rifle at him 😂😂😂 again even tho I know Scotty and Uhura are married but it’s scenes like getting held hostage right there where they radiate such POWER COUPLE energy GAWD! 🤩

Stay out of this Bones we’re having a lover’s quarrel! Jim is taking fucking psychic damage from this entire conversation lol. Okayyyy whatever Sybok is doing is definitely some kind of mind control type thing, that shit is creepy af no thank youuuuuu (spores anyone?). Oh my god Spock & Jim are so married lmao, that “I’m sorry” Vulcan kiss in the brig man Aw. (Oh man Magic’s of mega-tsu got devani mixed by that comment lame!) SCOTTYYYYYY!! YAS!

Yay rocket boot glomp! Lmfao! Sybok needs to brush up on his earth history Columbus did NOT figure out the world is round 🙄 Ah Scotty being like “listen, you’re not okay rn so I’m not really down for whatever you think you wanna do right now it can wait until you’re right in the head again” and they could’ve not done that and it would’ve been creepy (especially by today’s standards) but they didn’t! And that was awesome!

Bones being skeptical and has every right to be! He’s faced down would be gods and would-be messiahs before! Also I’ve seen people judge Bones for being the first to cave but Sybok totally did that shit to him without consent! He didn’t go back on his beliefs, Sybok forced him to! BONES PROTECTION SQUAD IS HERE AND ITS ME! Oh Bones, man, poor babeyyyy (fuck Sybok!) 😭😭😭 OH MY GOD BONESSSSSS Sybok leave him alone! Goddamnit! Leave him alone!

I think Jim can see Spock’s Sybok induced vision cuz they’re ✨Bonded✨ (it didn’t seem like they could see Bones’s, other than what Bones was doing). JIM KNOWS SO MUCH BETTER! ITS HOW HE BEAT THE SPORES ITS HIS CORE! I UNDERSTAND AND LOVE HIM FOR IT!!! Spock 😍😍😍 he’s like, you’re bullshit happiness pill doesn’t work on me cuz I am whole for the first time in my life, and I love my husband, and I already learned my lesson decades ago 💚🖖🏻💚 (who knew how important the character development from This Side of Paradise AND Return To Tommorow would be??? Hell yeah!)

I love Scotty so much 🥰 hardcore badass Hufflepuff from beginning to end! Also I hope Sybok appears in SNW that could be really really interesting if they do it right! ITS GOD (derogatory) REVERE HIM! Oh here comes that legendary question!! “What dies God need with a starship?” Red flag don’t call Jim a creature! Oh shit god has laxer eyes oh no lmao! Bones snaps out of whatever Sybok did to him when “God” hurts his friends and we LOVE HIM FOR ITTTT! Awww Spock & Sybok and be saaaaad, oh shit! Into the lightning to fight a mirror of yourself like Lazarus in that one episode!

OH SHIT THE KLINGONS ARE HERE! Oh damn Spock just swore a cuss the right way, at a Klingon General no less! General dude just went “caotain tell Kirk you are sorry!” LMAO! NOT IN FRONT OF THE KLINGONS 😂😂😂😍 KISS DAMNIT!! God this whole after scene is so good, maybe the god is the friends we made along the way. “I lost a brother once” you also lost SAM dummy, I know you were just telling Spock you love him but still. SHUT UP SPOCK IS PLAYING ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT ON HIS LYRE??

Okay, seriously, I unironically love this movie, it might be my favorite out of the ones I’ve seen so far actually. TMP felt like the movies getting their sea legs, but it was slow and messy, it wasn’t as thought provoking as it wanted to be (aside from Spock’s wonderful arc in that film). WoK & TSFS are amazing for drama and angst and Spirk content, but they weren’t really asking the big questions Star Trek is wonderful for. Then The Voyage Home is just plain silly and fun and wholesome. But this, this movie had depth! The whole premise is “what is god and is there is one?” I LOVE that as someone who has a very complicated relationship with spirituality. I also already loved the TOS episodes This Side of Paradise, Return To Tomorrow, The Omega Glory and The Way To Eden, and this movie had the best of those concepts! Sybok was such a fascinating antagonist/anti-hero and I hope we get to see him explored more on screen one day, even if it’s just through Discovery/SNW flashbacks. It may have started off slow and it’s not without its flaws but this felt like the Star Trekkiest TOS Star Trek movie so far!