#he doesn’t need you and you need TO GET AWAAAAAAAY

[o-wise-corvid]

Just a little thing @crclocalunhingedsith have been brain-marinating for a bit. Because the idea is so dang adorable. There will be more and as soon as I get my Ao3 account, little things like this will be linked from there. (Didn’t want to use a Google Doc for safety reasons.) But let the Papa Maul n Baby Path AU commence!! (Check out the playlist if ya like)

A rainy night on Nar Shadaa…

He’d said no. Of all times to just put his foot down and make all the daydreams, and nightmares, of a life without Sidious true, Maul had chosen the Naboo blockade. He wasn’t even sure why he’d done it. He loathed his Master… who wasn’t his master anymore. Just a man. He’d always yearned to be free and yet clung to everything the man had taught him.

Until.

It might’ve been Sidious’ recent change in mood with him. It might’ve been the change in atmosphere Maul himself sensed on the planet. It might’ve been the decades of unending torture. Who was to say?

Point was, Maul was through. He’d taken his ship, abandoning the Trade Federation lackeys to their machinations, and left Naboo. He’s gone to the best place he knew of in the galaxy to disappear, Nar Shadaa, after selling his ship on Sullost, hopping a freighter to Tatooine, then Mandalore, then Pantora and then Nar Shadaa. Just for safety’s sake.

Getting by wasn’t a problem for the Sith. He could pick pockets, threaten, fight. He kept a tiny room over a cantina, listened to the skittering creatures in the walls, and outlined his next move. Maul had no idea what he wanted. What he could even consider doing with his life. This was why he’d remained connected to Sidious: purpose.

So, he took to roaming the streets for a diversion. There were a few odd junk shops Maul found himself frequenting; they sold actually flimsy and leather books sometimes. Maul had never owned anything that Sidious had not given him. These books were… precious. Even if they were barely legible and ridiculously fragile.

Sometimes he slipped into the cantina though the liquors were all warm and revolting.

Maul ate from a meat street vendor on the corner.

And he always erased his presence from the memory of any he spoke to. Sidious would do worse things than kill him should the Sith Lord ever find him. But… for some reason… Maul felt no sense of being hunted.

He was discarded.

Just as well.

The Zabrak existed like this for… a few days, perhaps. Or was it weeks? He was never sure. No one noticed him, as he kept himself from being noticed. He lived quietly for the first time in his life. And the Force seemed… dim in his spirit. Quiet.

It wasn’t until the first heavy rain that Maul’s life, his life, changed.

Even in the jungles of Orsis, Maul had never experienced a downpour like this. He loved it. The steady drum of water on his face and neck. The way it cleared the neon-lit streets. The way the world looked, all shiny and smudged…

He walked in the rain for hours, allowing himself to be drenched entirely… until a fist slammed hard into his guts. The fight was sloppy and quick and Maul recovered quickly from the ambush. Alleyways we’re perfect for quick killing. Cramped. Littered with refuse so the footing was uneven. Maul hauled the three would-be thieves into their grave.

He ripped the throat free from one, fingernails his only blade. Maul’s foot collided with the temple of another, driving the Rhodian’s head hard into the opposite wall. And the last, Maul sent a pebble through her heart.

Afterward, he found much to his convenience, an old dumpster to throw the bodies in when he was done.

Yanking the hatch open, Maul started to hurl the first body in… and then stopped. How had he not heard the cries until now? Possibly the rain. The fight. It would’ve had to have been…

But with the hatch open to the air now, there was nothing to keep the wails of the human baby inside from reaching him. She was small. Very. Not even walking yet, Maul would wager. Filthy and sopping wet, the infant howled, little bits of hair stuck to flushed pale cheeks.

Maul stared. He’d never seen a baby this close before. His grip on his attacker loosened and then the body fell with a sodden plop. He reached over and drew the squirming bundle into his arms. She was cold. Very cold. This… couldn’t be normal.

Why he did it, Maul would never be able to truly say. But he tucked the child into one arm, folding her up in his robe. The baby, sensing warmth and closeness, quieted, huffing softly. The noises were… disarming. Maul disposed of the bodies before leaving and then headed back to his room. He did however stop at a nearby convenience store and, using the Force as a cloak, decided to pick up a few items.

Standing in an aisle lined with diapers, formula, bottles, and soft little garments with ducks and bees all over them made Maul feel like he had entered a fugue state. It smelled strange in this section. Powdery. There was another human man there who looked like he was on the verge of insanity who Maul didn’t even have to use the Force on. He just staggered to a box of diapers and then lurched away, muttering to himself. And he had no clue what to get in order to care for a baby.

Wait. Care? Since when was he going to care for this… just for tonight. If he was going to drop her somewhere, she needed to make an impression, yes?

Right.

So he grabbed one of everything. And then wheeled the cart out of the store. Down the street. And hovered it up to his little room. No one had seen him enter or leave. No one would miss one cart. Not to mention, Maul didn’t care if they did. If they came for him, they would die.

Perhaps harder with this infant in the mix.

The first order of business was to get her cleaned up. And this was a little girl. Maul’s refresher had a bathtub and he ran lukewarm water to wash off all the garbage… liquid from the baby’s hair. Clean her peculiarly sharp nails. Between the stubby little toes. And so on.

She loved the bath. Especially the little yellow duck Maul let her play with while he scrubbed her off.

Getting the diaper on was not simple. It took several tries. But once Maul figured it out, and thanked the Force he’d somehow chosen the right size, that part wasn’t so bad.

The onesie that had seemed mostly likely to fit was, unfortunately, overlarge. The feet hung down several inches below her feet. So Maul cut them off. There wasn’t much he could do about the rest of it though. The baby seemed to like it though. She made little “hum HUM” noises and kicked her feet, blue eyes wide and sparkling.

She inhaled a bottle full of the formula. And burped. Several times. And Maul had to scramble to wipe off her little face because one burp was… loaded.

And then she started to cry again. Maul tried everything to get her to stop, even putting his hand over her mouth. He finally got so agitated at the sound that he lifted his hand… but then the thought of bringing it down made him physically cringe. He couldn’t. Not… not like Sidious had. No. Not like that. With this little bundle? No… no.

“Ma’am,” Maul said firmly, hefting her to eye level with himself, “I know this is not ideal. And that you have had quite an evening. But I need you to please s-”

The baby had been staring into his eyes with a slightly wondrous expression. And then she’d tipped herself forward, with a battle cry of “EH” and latched her toothless mouth onto Maul’s nose. She chewed on him for a moment. And then batted her chubby hands on his cheeks with a delighted squeal.

“Ow,” Maul said, scrunching his eyes shut.

But then she nuzzled her deep auburn curls against his face. “Oooooh.”

“I know, I am so interesting.”

Why was he talking to her?

The baby hummed and then yawned, her head leaning hard on Maul’s cheek. He was probably warm, Maul decided; the baby was still quite cold. Perhaps something with her physiology. So… the Zabrak laid back on the barely existent bed and let the baby snuggle against his cheek. Warm and snug.

And… despite the smell of spit-up on her breath. And the skittering in the walls. And the roaring music downstairs… they slept.

[haikyuuphilia]

can i request the boys as classic vines from back in the day? sometimes i miss 2014 man 😔✊🏽 in my head kuroo & bokuto made them all the time😩

ajlsdfjk YES OF COURSE!! this is really chaotic and i spent WAY too long on it

also quick warning that most of these aren’t clean lmao

haikyuu characters as vines

→  HINATA: oh my god he on X games mode

→  KAGEYAMA: he needs some milk

→  YAMAGUCHI: mother trucker dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick

→  TSUKISHIMA: i’m a bad bitch, you can’t kill me

→  TANAKA: what the FUCK is up, kyle? no, what did you say? step the FUCK up 

→  TANAKA to KIYOKO: i love you, bitch. i ain’t never gon stop loving you... bitch

→  NISHINOYA this bitch empty. YEET

→  TANAKA, NISHINOYA, & YAMAMOTO: *moving in sync* it’s all around the world just la la la la la

→  ASAHI: aa. aaa. AAAAAAAAAAA

→  SUGA: so i’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties

→  DAICHI: miss keisha? miss keisha? oh my fuckin god, she fuckin dead

→  KIYOKO: “has anybody ever told you you look like beyonce?” “nah they usually tell me i look like shalissa”

→  YACHI: “i’m lesbian” “i thought you were american”

→  TAKEDA: is there anything better than pussy? yes, a really good book

→  UKAI: “dad look, it’s the good kush” “this is the dollar store, how good can it be”

→  OIKAWA: when there’s too much drama at school, all you gotta do is walk awaAaAaAay

→  OIKAWA & IWAIZUMI: oikawa: so basically, what i was thinking was um *iwaizumi punches him* aw fuck, i can’t believe you’ve done this 

→  IWAIZUMI: what’s better than this? guys bein’ dudes

→  HANAMAKI: happy crismus. it’s crismus. merry crisis. merry chrysler

→  MATSUKAWA: we all die you either kill yourself or get killed

→  TERUSHIMA: so no head?

→  FUTAKUCHI: it’s britney bitch

→  AONE: hi my name’s trey i got a basketball game tomorrow. i’m point guard, i got shoot game

→  KUROO: *nae naes to heart and soul*

→  KENMA: completely giving up. starring Me, Me, Me, and introducing Me

→  LEV: hurricane katrina? more like hurricane tortilla

→  KUROO & BOKUTO: two bros chillin in a hot tub, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay

→  BOKUTO to HINATA: hi. i’m renata bliss and i’m your freestyle dance teacher

→  BOKUTO: what up i’m jared i’m 19 and i never fucking learned how to read

→  AKAASHI: ... good evening

→  USHIJIMA: “who’s the hottest uber driver you’ve ever had?” “um i’ve never been to oovoo javer”

→  TENDOU: there is only one thing worse than a rapist. boom. a child

→  ATSUMU: on all levels except physical, i am a wolf

→  ATSUMU/OSAMU: hey everybody, today my brother pushed me, so i’m starting a kickstarter to put him down. the benefits of killing him is that i would be pushed way less 

→  ATSUMU and OSAMU: *atsumu shoots gun* osamu: “this is why mom doesn’t fucking love you”

→  OSAMU: can i get a waffle? can i please get a waffle?

→  ARAN: they ask you how you are and you just have to say that you’re fine but you’re not really fine

→  SUNA: “and they were roommates” “oh my god they were roommates”

→  KITA: country boy, i LoVe yOu... blehh

→  SAKUSA: “you know what? i’m about to say it.” “say it.” “i don’t care that you broke your elbow”

[cavalrytwunks]

S1E14: The Foreign Prince

I type these as I watch; bonus points if you spot the scenes that made me hit caps lock don’t judge me for being a mess about Narsus.

you know what time it is, friends

time for you to be glad you don't watch shows with Sammy because he's gotta do commentary the whole time!

awaaaaaaay we go!

-- i hope i find out how to spell Sindra this episode

-- new theme music? i miss the old one, but i'm sure i'll get used to this one. two more episodes and i’ll be like “yeah, this slaps”

-- Scene 1: Battle Council, starring Kishward's beard

-- ah, it's 'Sindhura', okay cool

-- Prince Rajendra's older brother is gonna be either a dutiful and steady leader or a Grade-A Egotistical Buttwipe. that's just how stories go, i don't make the rules

-- oh yeah, way to stick it to your dad Rajendra, bringing home Arslan's head will def make him respect you

-- who needs King Angryfists for a dad when you've got Narsus and Daryun looking out for you

-- I like that Narsus and Daryun never try to get Arslan to be "tough". He's kind, and they respect him for it.

Daryun: hey Narsus, we're outnumbered 5 to 1, how are we not fucked? Narsus: well, you see, i am very clever and they came into my house. Narsus: ...also, I intend to lie to them a lot and then throw them in a lake Narsus: ...also, I'm gonna aim you at their commander, that usually works

-- Arslan apologizing politely to the captured Prince Rajendra while Narsus and Daryun look threatening behind him: perfect, A+ diplomacy

Rajendra: here, Arslan, drink with me Farangis: I don't think so, buddy, you can drink with me Gieve, appearing out of the aether: yes, you can drink with us

-- oh no, a drinking contest? also, did Gieve just give Rajendra a Look™? Arslan looks so uncomfortable with this plan

-- Alfirid, don't be rude. -- Elam! Don't be rude. -- what the hell, you two. And what the hell, Narsus, honestly. I still want to know wtf the deal is with him and Alfirid.

-- Predictably, Farangis can drink anyone under the table...and Gieve is already a hot fucking mess on the floor. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have a phone; he’s got too many options for exes to drunk-text.

Arslan: I wouldn't be so barbaric as to threaten you, Prince Rajendra. How about an alliance? Rajendra: Why should I? Narsus: Because I said so.  Rajendra: ...okay

-- Narsus doesn't bother with threats; he just arranges the pieces and then informs you what you're gonna do and god i’m so into it because i’m trash, where you do want me, daddy

-- I'll hand it to Prince Rajendra, he's bright enough to be adaptable. I can see him turning into a solid ally.

-- whooooaaa, the new end credits sequence is pretty. Not enough bedroom eyes from Narsus, though, so unfortunately I can't endorse it

-- Prince Gadhevi confirmed as a Grade-A Egotistical Buttwipe. Called it.

-- hot green-eyes spy dude? oh? this gonna be good

[aporeticelenchus]

I had a few people want to hear about the doings of my mini-D&D experiment. My players could probably give you a more informative breakdown from their side, but here’s an encounter from my perspective over the last two times we played:

(Should be spoiler-free for my party members, but general spoilers for the Lost Mines of Phandelver campaign)

- My party infiltrated a bandit hideout to try to shake down the leader - or any of his flunkies - for information.

- Said bandit leader is - unbeknownst to them at this point - a squishy, cowardly mage who REALLY wants to avoid personal attention or capture. His MO for dealing with a threat, in descending order of preference is:

1. make the flunkies handle it

2. Run awaaaaaaay

3. Hurl some quick spells to either take down his enemy or make time to run away

4. Surrender if 3 doesn’t immediately work

- His bedroom is set up so he will know in advance if anyone is approaching said bedroom by the main door. He then has a second, secret set of doors to escape through. He will also run away if any of his bandits see the party and make it away to warn him. Basically, the odds are very good that the party will never interact with this man at all.

- However! The party comes into the hideout through a secret tunnel, bypassing the main entrance guards, and find the secret escape route entrances through some excellent perception rolls.

- (They had one fight on the way in with a creature that could have sent a warning, but it didn’t like the bandit leader that much and the party members gave it food to keep it happy.)

- So! My three player + one fighter NPC party bursts in on the bandit leader, taking him completely by surprise. He’s alone! He’s surprised! He only has 20 hit points! He doesn’t stand a chance! This mage is going to fold like a wet noodle, assuming the party doesn’t kill him first.

- “Well, this dungeon turned out pretty anticlimactic” I say to myself.

- Then the party just starts...talking to him. Ok, that’s fair, they wanted info and don’t know how strong he is. It’s probably good not to attack everything on sight.

- (I’d expected them to talk their way out of the one fight they’d had so far in the hideout, so I was batting zero re guessing party aggression.)

- He genuinely doesn’t have the info they want on a goblin tribe hideout; if he did he would tell them and hope they left. Desperate to stall for time in the hopes of thinking up a plan, he mentions (truthfully) that some of the creatures who work for him definitely knew where the hideout is. Perhaps he could guide them to have a nice chat with his associates?

- “Yeah, let’s do that!” say one of the characters. (Incidentally: this is the noble fighter whose stat points are all in strength and charisma.)

- ...huh?

- “This is a trap, right?” say all of the other players. The player whose character agreed to go also agrees it is obviously trap.

- ...technically, it is not a trap, because a trap requires some amount of planning. This mage was just saying whatever he thought would keep the players from rolling initiative and finding that his AC was approximately that of wet tissue.

- “Great!” says the bandit mage.

- “...ok? I guess?” say the two PCs who main stats are wisdom and intelligence respectively.

- “....uuuhhhhh...” say I

- I had planned a for a bunch of different possibilities, but this was not one of them. I start planning on the fly, reverse engineering from stuff I already had in place. I knew his preferred escape route, a way he could get in (slow and very limited) contact with other creatures in his hideout without the party member knowing, and where his guards were all stationed.

- However, he needs to seem like he’s playing along long enough to get reserves in place. He can take them straight to his 3 bugbear allies, who came from the hideout the party is seeking, but those odds still aren’t great for him and the party will be at an advantage given the way the space is set up. It’ll be hard for him to get away without being instantly recaptured, and it’s inconvenient for access to his escape route.

- So instead he leads them to a room full of animated skeletons and sends out a signal to everyone he can reach to come help. Skeletons are potentially distracting! Maybe they know something? Maybe the party will waste valuable time trying to figure out what they know? There are also some bandits though a connected door, but he can’t easily get their attention without alerting the party, and they’re not strong enough to constitute a serious threat on their own.

- (Frankly he’s sort of hoping the skeletons attack the party and he can claim innocence, but the party calls his bluff and he makes the skeletons calm down)

- The party DOES get useful info out of the skeletons, and discuss maybe just...leaving?

- Evil bandit mage cannot believe how well this is going.

- At this point, however, the party does a perception check and realizes that some villagers are being kept prisoner in the next room over (the one with the bandit guards).

- They storm in, but at this point bugbear reinforcements have arrived, and the party is outnumbered and being attacked on multiple sides.

- Evil mage paralyzes the PC keeping watch on him and gets the heck out of Dodge. He pauses for a moment to temporarily disarm a trap along the way. Our Wizard PC chases after him before the trap is fully reactivated, but eventually loses him.

- The party manages to fight off the enemy, although it’s a close thing and both fighters drop below zero hp at points. The cleric gets a serious workout!

- Noble fighter is left with 1 hp. She decides to follow our wizard and see what’s up.

- ...oh no, the trap is very definitely armed again. I can’t think of any in-universe reason it wouldn’t be.

- “......roll perception???” I say, even though she’s not looking for traps and by all rights shouldn’t get to roll. She didn’t even see Evil Mage mess with the wall earlier.

- Doesn’t matter. She rolls a 6. Then she fails her dexterity saving throw.

- ...she falls 10 feet.

- It’s a tiny pit trap. Barely any damage. The sort of thing to slow infiltrators down and make some noise. Buuuuut she’s at 1 hp.

- Unconscious fighter at the bottom of a shallow pit :x

- The cleric was out of spell slots and had to climb in and haul her out.

[ladylynse]

Danny Phantom: Dani’s Return

Essentially, another short (2K) snippet, just because I can.

“Can you get that, sweetie?”

Danny, who had just gotten to the top of the stairs, groaned and turned around to answer the door. He’d spend an exhausting day chasing around Cujo (to no avail) and trying not to fail his classes or get the entire school destroyed. Sam and Tucker had even cancelled their plans so he could get some shuteye, meaning he was home before supper. For once.

And still, no peace.

The knock came again, followed by a heavier thud. Danny hoped that didn’t mean it was a delivery, although if it was, maybe he could blast whatever it was to smithereens before his parents realized that particular gear or whatever it was they needed for their newest weapon had already arrived.. “Coming!” He heard a few all-too-familiar yelps and was suddenly really glad his mom had asked him to get the door. He shot a quick look into the kitchen, but from what he could see, Maddie was leaning over something on the counter which may or may not be alive, so she should be suitably busy while he dealt with Cujo.

Again.

Although walls—even the ones in his house—hadn’t stopped Cujo from practically bowling him over before.

Danny opened the door, and then he realized what he’d heard. Eyes wide, he dropped into a crouch. “Dani?”

Cujo stood over her, whimpering. She looked about as good as she had when she’d been destabilizing, and he hoped this wasn’t some sort of relapse. “Hey, cuz,” she said weakly. She tried to smile, but he wasn’t buying it. Black strands of hair stuck to flushed skin, and her clothes were pretty much soaked through. It looked like she’d been dropped into a swimming pool, but more likely, Cujo had carried her here and she was covered in dog slobber. More worryingly, she was still covered in dog slobber. He turned her intangible to get it off before putting an arm around her and helping her to her feet.

“Dani, what happened?” he whispered, resisting the urge to throw another glance over his shoulder. His mom wasn’t likely to notice anything was amiss yet, but….

“S’nothing. Jus’…jus’ comin’ to visit.”

“You’re burning up!”

Dani mumbled something in response, but all Danny really caught was fire. He formed a small piece of ice in his palm and held it out. “Suck on this. Try to get your temperature down. When was the last time you had something to drink?” This time, he didn’t even get a reply. Not from Dani, anyway. Cujo was still whining at his feet, so he dropped the ice and let the dog slurp it up. “Cujo, go fetch Jazz,” he ordered. “She’s at the library, but I’m gonna need help.”

Cujo began to pant and cocked his head.

“Jazz,” Danny repeated. “Get Jazz. Go on. Fetch!” He pointed in the appropriate direction and zapped a quick ectoblast, hoping Cujo would get the idea. Danny wasn’t sure how much the ghost dog understood, but he yipped and took off in the right direction, so that was something.

“Who’s at the door, honey?”

Crud.

Danny turned in time to see Maddie stop in her tracks. Her jumpsuit was covered in bright green splatters, but her hood was off and her goggles up, so he saw her eyes widen. “Um….” He had no idea how to explain this.

Where was Jazz when he needed her?

“Bring her inside,” Maddie ordered, but she was already moving to take Dani into her arms. She carried the now-limp girl in her arms and lay her down on the couch. “Get me a damp cloth,” she ordered, pulling first aid supplies from somewhere on her person. (Danny was not about to ask.)

The next few minutes where a whirlwind of fetching this and that while trying to avoid answering any of his mother’s questions. Unfortunately, she cornered him on his last run for some aspirin. “Do you know her, Danny?”

“Uh….”

“This is important. I need to know everything I can if I’m going to help her. Why didn’t she go to the hospital?”

What was he supposed to say? Because she was half ghost? Because she didn’t really have a home or parents who looked after her? Because she wouldn’t have enough money to pay her bills when she barely got by doing whatever it was she did while travelling? (Magic tricks, if he had to guess. Tucker kept trying to put him up to it.)

“I think she’s a friend of Valerie’s,” he said carefully. “I’ve seen her around. She doesn’t live here.”

“Danny.”

“Her name’s Danielle, but she goes by Dani, too.”

Maddie crossed her arms, clearly not buying his innocence. “Explain.”

Danny tried to remember how much his parents knew. Would Damon have told his parents about his daughter’s extracurricular activities in case she tried to get weaponry from them or did he keep quiet on that front on the assumption that any interest Valerie expressed would be immediately seized upon by Jack Fenton? Or was there a timeline where they had found out that hadn’t later been rewritten?

“Well, Valerie’s kinda…interested in ghost hunting.” She could skin him alive later as long as she didn’t figure out his secret right now. He could at least claim Danny Phantom had told him if he needed to. “So’s Dani. Maybe she, uh, got into something.”

“And you think that’s why she came here.”

“It makes sense,” he offered. It wasn’t true, not entirely, but it did make sense, and it was built on truth, kinda, so it was definitely the best he was going to be able to do right now.

Maddie sighed. “Phone Valerie to see if she knows anything. Better yet, have her come over. At the very least, I’d like to know if she this Dannielle is allergic to anything.” A sheepish look crossed Maddie’s face as she added, “Valerie can stay for supper, but we’ll have to order in.”

Danny blinked. “Um, maybe that’s not the best idea.”

“I don’t intend for this to become a repeat of last Thanksgiving, sweetie. I just want to help your friend. Talk to Valerie. I’m going to take Danielle down to the lab and—”

“No!”

“It’s just going to be a few routine tests, I promise. I want to rule out ecto-contamination.”

“You can’t!”

“It’s for the best, honey.”

She turned, and Danny reached out to grab her arm. “Mom, please, no, Dani hates labs.”

“It’s sound like you know more about her than you want to admit.”

Danny swallowed. “No, I just, uh, remembered that from what Val said once.”

Maddie ruffled his hair. “It won’t take long. I should be done before she wakes up. Go phone Valerie, and if she knows anything, let me know immediately. I may not need to run through everything.”

“But….” How was he supposed to stop his mother from doing what she did best: taking care of people who’d had a nasty run-in with something in her field of supposed expertise? He should be thankful she hadn’t quarantined them all on the spot.

But she already had Dani in her arms again and was heading for the basement, and he didn’t know what to say to make her stop.

Why couldn’t Jazz have been home?

Even if she didn’t know the whole story, she’d see his face and just know to say something, and it would be the right thing.

But if he said something, it would as good as confirm that he knew more than he was saying, and his mother would prod and ask question after question. He wasn’t so good at dodging questions, especially with his mom. If he wasn’t careful, he’d end up saying something about Dani’s past, and from there….

No. He had to try. Dani would definitely show up as heavily contaminated if he wasn’t there to doctor her results.

Danny ran for the stairs, reaching the top as his mother got to the bottom. He took them two at a time, but he was still only halfway down when Maddie laid Dani on the cool metal table, and he wasn’t quite at the bottom before Dani’s eyes flickered open and she shrieked. “Get away!”

She went from horizontal to vertical faster than Danny had expected, coiling up and practically springing from the table. She landed farther away than she should have, and her eyes were flaring green. She was looking at them—at him—as if she didn’t recognize him, and then the next moment, she was closing her eyes as if not seeing them would mean they wouldn’t be able to see her. “Get away, get away, get awaaaaaaay!”

Maddie jerked back, and Danny half jumped, half fell to the bottom of the stairs. The glassware and sterile tools began to rattle on the shelves and benchtops, and Danny realized what this was: a weak version of his—their—Ghostly Wail.

“Dani! Dani, it’s me!”

Yelling didn’t seem to get her attention, especially over the sound of breaking glass, but after a few long seconds, her wail cut off abruptly and ended in a sob. She slumped to the floor, eyes blinking back to blue, and hugged her knees. He knew how exhausted she must be—he had never attempted the Ghostly Wail in human form before, but he knew how much it had taken out of him in the beginning—but she was more wary than she was weary; she didn’t take her eyes off them.

“Dani,” he tried again, starting forward.

This time, Maddie caught his arm. “Don’t. It’s not safe.”

“No, it’s fine. She’s just confused.” He tried to get out of Maddie’s grip, but she tightened it, and he wouldn’t be able to break it without phasing, which was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

“It’s not your friend, Danny. No human is capable of what it just did.”

His insides turned to ice, and he stopped struggling. “Mom—”

“Go up to your room, Danny.”

She hadn’t ordered him out of the lab in ages. “Mom—?”

“You don’t need to see this.”

Oh, no. “Mom, whatever you’re thinking—”

She tightened her grip once more in warning before releasing him, giving him a push toward the stairs. “Go, Danny.”

“No, I—”

“Now.”

He planted his feet. She was refusing to take her eyes off Dani and could only really see him with her peripheral vision. Hopefully, that wouldn’t be enough to fight him. “She’s my friend, Mom.”

“No, it’s not. Do I need to prove it to you?” She pulled out the FentonWorks weapon she’d had on her the time they got stuck in the woods courtesy of Vlad. The blast wasn’t enough to really hurt a human, hardly more than strong shock from static electricity, but a ghost, even a halfa in human form….

“No, look, I think…. I think there’s something I need to tell you about Dani.” About me, he added silently. But he didn’t know if the conversation would get there. “She’s had it rough, but she’s still just a girl, I swear. She was experimented on.” That sounded infinitely better than she was an experiment. “That’s why she hates labs. And that’s why she’s, um, got powers. She’s a girl, not a ghost.”

Well, she was a ghost girl, but if he could convince his mom without her realizing that Dani was as much ghost as girl, then that was a bonus. Maybe phoning Valerie wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all. She’d helped Dani before. It would invite all kinds of impossible questions from her, but as long as he could help Dani….

Maddie didn’t put away her weapon but instead reached for one of their net guns, and Danny knew he was fighting a losing battle. He turned and practically flew up the stairs instead. There wouldn’t be time for Valerie. It was risky, especially when Jazz wasn’t home, but he’d have to save Dani himself. He reached the kitchen, made sure his dad hadn’t come home yet, either, and transformed before diving—invisible and intangible—back into the basement.

He was halfway to Dani when he realized his mom hadn’t been going for a net gun but the alarm.

“FentonWorks Anti-Creep Mode activated,” Jack Fenton’s recorded voice exclaimed over the blaring alarms. “Our special today is fudge! I mean, pain!”

Weaponry sprang out of hidden compartments in the walls, swivelling to point at both Danny and Dani. Before he could close the distance between them, the world filled with blinding light, crackling electricity, and screams.

(see more fics)

[sydnam]

OUAT 7x18 “The Guardian”

18 down, 3 to go. Does this title mean this whole Guardian business will be explained in a satisfactory fashion? I guess there’s always hope for such things, right? I know there was the “I need the Guardian” thing way back in  the Belle episode, but I don’t remember it being properly explained. But when is anything properly explained on this show? The bigger question is will Gothel ever be explained because really what is her deal?

OH MY GOODNESS HE HAS A FUCKING SHRINE TO BELLE HE IS TALKING TO HER PORTRAIT TELLING HER ABOUT GIDEON GO ON WITHOUT ME Facilier NO go AWAY this isn’t ABOUT YOU Okay but Rumple’s face when Facilier tried to hurt him using the voodoo doll was fucking priceless. And then Facilier looked so disappointed right before he got force choked. Hah. WHY IS HE TURNING DISCO LIZARD

Alas, they have found a dead body and not a suspect. And Rumple knows exactly who did it. OH NOES MISSING DAGGER Of course if Rumple doesn’t have magic right now then controlling the dagger won’t really do anything to him, right?

Margot and Tilly are super cute and I love them.

Henry and Jacinda are also cute but slightly less so at this moment.

Rogers and Rumple aren’t cute but I would have watched this buddy cop show SO HARD.

Rumple my dude stop creeping on Alice it’s bad for your skin apparently. Alice and Robin are ALSO the cutest. Can’t decide if fairytale version or modern version is better. Ok but real talk why did this Guardian stuff never come up when we learned the whole history of the Dark One during season 5? Wook you should let Rumple help but ok.

Rogers is SO not amused by this other cop. But he’s happy to see Henry at least. Henry is still very much himself because he definitely just waltzed up to a detective and asked to see a dude in custody who committed multiple murders, just as a random favor.

Rumple is SO VERY OVER EVERYTHING right now. Regina pulls the grandson card.  It seems to have worked. For the moment. So Facilier shouldn’t be able to control him with the dagger if Rumple isn’t possessed of magic at the moment, right? But if Facilier were to stab Rumple with the dagger would he get the Dark One power even though Rumple doesn’t actually HAVE the power right now? Should Rumple be under constant surveillance right now (not that it would do much good)?

TILLY TOOK MARGOT TO A BOOKSTORE. Okay, modern version is the cuter. “Pop and Pop”?  WHO ARE THE POPS though

“We’re friends or at least we used to be” Did I miss that or did I forget? When did Rumple and Alice forge a friendship? RUMPLE beHAVE yourself. BE KIND TO THIS POOR CHILD. LOOK, LYING TO ALICE IS BAD FOR YOUR SKIN IT MAKES YOU BE A DISCO LIZARD

Regina is very calm when telling her boyfriend she wants him to give back the dagger He doesn’t have it because he made Naveen get it, right? RUMPLE why are you creeping and how did you get in to that apartment? I mean I know why you’re creeping and I support you trying to get the dagger back.

RUMPLE why did you send Alice in there HOW COULD YOU SHE COULD GET HURT ALICE RUN AWAAAAAAAY ALICE NO WHY RUMPLE WHY RUMPLESTILTSKIN YOU HAVE THAT GIRL PUT THAT HEART BACK WHERE SHE FOUND IT RIGHT NOW RUMPLE YOUR HANDS. YOUR VOICE. I mean I get what you’re trying to achieve her by testing this poor child but COME ON NOW GOod girl Alice

Rumple don’t shoot him Facilier maybe don’t taunt the man with the gun at your heart DAMN IT HE HAS MAGIC RUMPLE HOW DID YOU FORGET THAT

ROGERS letting a rando civilian into a crime scene is NOT a good idea. Wait, he’s not a rando he was AT the crime scene before that’s even WORSE. Oh he wanted the blood test results? Naveen, do better.

Poor Tilly. But HEY that bracelet made it between realms and back to its original owner so awwwww.

Rumple will you stop lurking in the shadows and creeping on everyone? NO DO NOT STEAL THE MAGIC RUMPLE THAT IS NOT THE CORRECT CHOICE. At least I don’t think it is. Although he did better with it than I thought he would I was worried he was gonna chug it like a dumbass.

WHAT DO YOU  MEAN THE DAGGER KNOWS DO NOT LISTEN TO THE DAGGER ALICE THE DAGGER IS A JERK Wait whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat HIS NAME WENT AWAY RUMPLE NO WHAT DID YOU DOOOOOOOO OH RUMPLE MY HEART HE SAVED ALICE ALICE WANTS TO SAVE HIM BACK HOLD ME I AM EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED

How did the dagger get into Tilly’s bag though? She stole it to save him? HE IS ANGRY WITH HIMSELF HE IS ALWAYS ANGRY WITH HIMSELF

He’s gone almost full on disco lizard which seems a bit odd since he literally sacrificed his own happiness and afterlife for Alice’s ability to live her own life. Aww Rumple and Wook are gonna be buddies now. NO NOT THE SPINNING OH NOOOOOOO

Regina wants to murder Rumple right now so much Ohhhh that hurt, that “you haven’t changed a bit” HE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO THAT HE IS SO ASHAAAAMED I mean, he should be somewhat ashamed. But also letting Facilier have the dagger would have been awful and he thought those were his only 2 choices.

Stabbed through the heart from the inside? That’s a neat trick. “What the hell’s going on in this town?” Rogers, my dude, we all want to know that.

Margot. <3 <3 <3

Oh my.  Henry. Are you sure this is wise? I mean, truth is good. BUT truth that makes no sense might not be helpful right now. Maybe.