#he has infected my notebooks and test sheets

[crumbztoast]

some doodles of the silly

[vrednic]

favors | collateral damage (pt.3)

Teen Wolf x Vampire Diaries AU

Prompt: Teen Wolf, but with a twist. Scott McCall has a twin sister… and she falls in love with Derek Hale.

Summary: Derek finds himself in trouble, and Scott is nowhere to be found. Will Serena be the one to save the day?

Word Count: 3,026

Author’s Note: I hope you all enjoy part 3! As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading :)

*PART ONE*

*PART TWO*

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Two weeks had passed since my first full moon. Scott and I still weren’t on speaking terms, and we both seemed to prefer it that way. On school days, he’d leave the house early to avoid running into me. We didn’t have any classes together, so that made it easy to stay out of each other’s way at school. He had lacrosse practice most days, and they usually ran late, so by the time he got home, I was already in bed. He had also made things official with Allison, so naturally she consumed every other spare second of his life. Part of me felt immense relief because I was able to delay the inevitable confrontation that we would have to have at some point. However, the other part of me also longed for her best friend. I wanted to blame the full moon for the harsh words I said and the dismissive manner that I treated him, but I couldn’t. It was all me.

Scott was the “It” boy when it came to the supernatural. Someway, somehow, he always found himself in the middle of whatever supernatural crisis threatened Beacon Hills. He was a reliable friend and a fantastic leader in-the-making. I recognized that Scott now held the responsibility to save and protect those who were oblivious to our world, as well as those who were a part of it, but my jealousy obstructed all rational thought. I wanted my brother to be there for me the way he was there for complete strangers; the way he meddled in situations that didn’t even concern him. When he didn’t show up the one time I needed him, the disappointment was simply too much to bear.

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I was sitting in biology, filling in the bubble for the second to last question of the test we were taking. The room was completely silent except for the swift sound of pencil on paper. I looked up at the clock above the chalkboard, and the hands indicated that there were forty-five minutes remaining in class. I flipped back through the booklet and revised all of my answers. When I was content with all of my responses, I pushed up from my desk and walked towards the front to turn in my test. As I neared the front of the classroom, the smell of blood invaded my nostrils. The scent was too faint to be coming from within the room, so that meant that its source was somewhere on the other side of the classroom door. I finally reached the teacher’s desk and placed my booklet on top of the thin pile of completed tests that were already there. I grabbed a copy of tonight’s homework located on the podium next to the desk, and made my way back to my seat.

As I tucked the homework sheet into my biology notebook, my supernatural hearing picked up the sound of two distinct voices coming from the hallway.

“Where’s Scott McCall?” asked the first voice.

The second person shut their locker, the sound of metal on metal ringing in my ears. They spoke gruffly. “Why should I tell you?”

“Because I asked you politely, and I only do that once.” This time I was able to identify the first voice immediately. It was Derek.

“Hm. Okay, tough guy,” responded the second voice. It was low and laced with arrogance, just like Jackson’s. “How about I help you find him if you tell me what you’re selling him? 

There was a pause. Then, “Well? What is it? Is it Dianabol? HGH?”

“Steroids?” responded Derek, his tone unimpressed.

“No, Girl Scout cookies,” scoffed Jackson. “What the hell do you think I’m talking about? Oh, and, by the way, whatever it is that you’re selling, I’d probably stop sampling the merchandise. You look wrecked.”

There were a few counts of silence. I closed my eyes and focused my hearing, not wanting to miss a single word.

“I’ll find him myself,” said Derek at last.

“No, we’re not done here!” growled Jackson. There was a sound of movement, and then I heard a body slam up against the lockers. I heard Jackson’s soft groans of discomfort as Derek walked away, his feet dragging slightly as he did.

I knew that it was none of my business, but curiosity got the best of me. I got up from my seat and walked swiftly, but subtly, towards the teacher’s desk.

“Can I use the bathroom?”

Mrs. Grey stopped typing at her computer long enough to peer up at me through her glasses. “Sure, just take the--”

“Great, thanks!” I said, wasting no time to rush out into the hall. Jackson was leaning against a row of lockers on the opposite side of the hall, clutching the back of his neck. I smelled blood on him, but the scent didn’t match up with the one from earlier. We made eye contact for just a moment.

“What the hell are you looking at?” he snapped at me.

I shrugged.

I looked down both ends of the hall, but Derek was already gone. Luckily for me, he left a trail of blood in his wake. I followed the scent past the double doors that led to the soccer and lacrosse fields. I walked onto the middle of the grass and scanned my surroundings. At first glance, both fields seemed empty, but the scent was still present. The only problem was that I could no longer pinpoint which direction it was coming from. The wind had picked up, so now the scent seemed to be coming from everywhere. I decided to move my search onto the perimeter of the field. I checked under the bleachers, by the concession stands, and in the bathrooms, but there was still no sign of Derek. I let out a sigh of frustration and began walking back to the school.

I stopped mid stride when I thought I saw movement from the corner of my eye. I turned, and my breath caught in my throat. Derek was slumped against the side of the storage shed, thick black blood dripping down his left arm. There was a pool of it right beside him growing by the minute. His face was pale and slicked with sweat, and there were dark grey bags under his eyes. If I didn’t know he was a werewolf with supernatural healing abilities, I’d probably think he was dead. I ran over to him and crouched down to his eye level. His eyes found mine; they were no longer cold, but pleading.

“Scott,” he mumbled. “Find Scott.”

I ignored him and instead examined the bullet wound in his arm. The bullet itself seemed to have melted into his skin, glowing a sickly silver-green color. The area around it was swollen and his veins were turning black, a clear sign of a fast-spreading infection.

“I’m gonna get you out of here,” I told him matter-of-factly. “Whatever it is you were shot with, it doesn’t look good. I need to get you someplace safe so we can find a way to fix this.”

“You need to find Scott,” he repeated, breathless.

“I’ll find Scott,” I assured him. “But after I get you out of here. There’s no way I’m leaving for dead here.”

He looked up at me with those beautiful, tired eyes. He knew there was no point in protesting, so he mobilized every ounce of strength within him and tried to slide up to a standing position. I came over next to him, positioning his good arm around my shoulders, wrapped my arm around his torso, and attempted to begin walking. We made it a few steps before I felt him leaning out of my grasp. I stopped and gazed up at him.

“Okay, big guy. I know I’m a werewolf and all, but I’m still only 5’4. You’re almost an entire foot taller than me, so I’m gonna need you to help me out as much as you can.”

He nodded and we resumed walking. I led him across the field into the student parking lot. I found my car in the maze of vehicles and unlocked the passenger side door. As soon as Derek eased into the seat, I shut the door and came around to the other side. I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot onto the road, heading towards Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital. If we were lucky, traffic would be light at this hour, and we’d arrive in a matter of minutes. Derek looked around alarmingly and reached for the steering wheel. I stomped on the brake to stop us from veering into oncoming traffic.

“Are you crazy?” I screamed at him. “Are you trying to get us killed?”

“You can’t take me to the hospital. Anything they give me could potentially speed up the infection and kill me,” he said. He sounded exhausted, but his tone was firm nonetheless. “That, and the Argents are probably looking for me. I’m sure they’d love to finish me off before the infection gets the chance to.”

I blew out a sigh. “Where am I supposed to take you, then?”

“The animal clinic. Hopefully Deaton hasn’t left for the day. Maybe he knows about something that’ll help.”

I did as I was told and quickly made a U-turn in the opposite direction. I drove frantically, stealing glances at Derek here and there to make sure he was still breathing. His eyes remained closed the entire way, but I found comfort in the steady rise and fall of his chest.

---------------------------------------------------------

Once we arrived at the clinic, my heart sunk. Deaton’s car wasn’t in the lot, which meant we were alone and running out of time. I retrieved the spare key from behind the dumpster and hauled Derek inside, leading him to one of the nearest chairs so he could sit while I called Scott. I patted my back pocket for my phone, but it wasn’t there. I ran out to my car and searched the floor and seats for its location, but it was futile. I must have dropped it in the field while I was carrying Derek to my car. I sprinted back inside, where Derek was clutching his arm in agony. I brushed the hair from his forehead gently, which caused him to open his eyes.

“I lost my phone,” I admitted nervously. “Do you have yours?”

He shook his head. “I lost it last night after I was shot.”

Great, just great.

I stopped for a moment to collect myself. After my moment was up, I left the room to find Deaton’s office. I turned on the light and waited a moment so my eyes could adjust. When they did, I found the office phone sitting right by his computer. I picked up the phone and dialed Scott’s number. It rang for several seconds, and just when I thought the voicemail was going to cut the call short, I heard someone pick up on the other end.

“Hey, Doc,” Scott answered. “Is everything okay?”

“Scott,” I said. “You need to get to the animal clinic now. Derek’s dying.”  

There was a momentary pause of confusion. “Serena? Why are you calling me from the clinic? What’s going on?”

I walked back over to Derek and handed him the phone. “It’s Scott.”

“Listen to me carefully,” said Derek. “You need to get me the bullet, or I’m as good as dead.”

“What are you talking about? What bullet?” I heard Scott say.

I paced around the room, trying to keep my anxiety in check. I wasn’t entirely sure why I felt so affected. It’s not like Derek and I were friends. So why did the thought of him dying suddenly seem so unbearable? I could no longer stand to look at Derek. The infection was running its course, eating him from the inside out. He had begun to resemble a rotting corpse. I turned my back to him and focused my attention to the desolate road outside the window, trying to flush out any and all thoughts of death from my mind. I bit my lip, hoping that Scott would walk through the door any second now and save the day, just like he always did.

“Last night when I was looking for Peter… the Argents were there,” Derek explained. “Kate shot me with a bullet laced with wolfsbane. It’s causing some sort of infection that’ll kill me once it reaches my heart. That bullet is the only antidote.”

“Okay, I’m on it. But, uh, do you happen to know what it looks like?” asked Scott.

Derek didn’t reply. I turned around just as he fell sideways onto the floor. The phone slid out of his grasp and across the room. I heard Scott begin to panic over the line. 

“Scott, hurry!” I yelled, loud enough so he could hear. 

I dropped down on my knees next to Derek and gently patted him on the cheek, urging him to wake up, but he remained unconscious. I pressed my ear against his chest, listening for his heartbeat, but I heard nothing but silence. My own heart hammered in my ribcage and tears threatened to spill from my eyes.

“You’re not dying on me, you bastard,” I whispered, wiping away the tears that had managed to escape from the corner of my eyes.

I placed the heel of my hand in the center of his chest and began doing chest compressions. After thirty compressions, I lowered my lips down onto his, giving him two rescue breaths. I was surprised by how soft and warm his lips felt against mine. I continued administering steady compressions, but there was no sign of resuscitation.

I stopped and stared at his lifeless body. I refused to let him fade away just like that, but I had no idea what else to do. Scott would have figured something out; he always did. But I wasn’t Scott.

I felt so small, so useless.

So defeated.

Derek jerked abruptly, gasping for air. His eyes fluttered open and scanned the room until they met mine. I flashed a small smile and gave his hand a small squeeze of reassurance. I helped him up to a sitting position on the floor.

He tipped his head back against the wall and gave a low groan. “I know you thought you lost me there for a minute, but trust me. I don’t go so easily.”

I managed a soft laugh. “I know.”

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What seemed like an eternity later, Scott finally strolled through the front door of the clinic with Stiles in tow, holding a small golden bullet in his hand. He crouched down next to Derek, who took the bullet immediately and screwed off the tip to release its contents. He pulled out a lighter from his pocket and lit the wolfsbane on fire. Ignited, it emitted a dark blue smoke, which irritated my nasal passages. I set my discomfort aside and focused my attention on Derek, who gathered the ashes into his hand and rubbed them onto his wound. He let out a sharp roar of pain that lasted several seconds, but he healed almost instantaneously. I let out an audible sigh of relief which seemed to go unnoticed by all the boys in the room.

Scott extended his hand and helped Derek up. He still looked a little worse for wear, but the rosy hue of his cheeks was starting to return. The eyebags were gone, leaving behind the olive green eyes that were once again fixed into a hard stare.

“Glad you’re okay, man. I’ll see you around,” Scott told Derek.

Stiles mumbled under his breath. “Hopefully not anytime soon.”

Derek shook Scott’s hand firmly-- an expression of silent gratitude.

Scott and Stiles walked past me toward the front door. Just when I thought Scott was about to walk out, he turned and walked back, stopping in front of me. He gave me a bear hug and kissed my right temple. 

“I’ll see you at home.” He pulled away and walked outside to Stiles’ Jeep. I was about to walk out myself when I heard Derek call my name. I whipped my head around to face him and found him looking at me with those sharp, penetrating eyes. There was an unreadable expression on his face. 

“Why did you do it?” He asked me softly.

“Do what?” But I knew exactly what he meant.

“Save me.”

I felt my pulse quicken and my cheeks heat up. I looked down at my feet and cleared my throat. I hated the thought of potentially stumbling over my words after one small sign of attention from Derek Hale. After a few counts I finally mustered up the courage to look up again. He was still staring.

“I never got the chance to say thank you,” I told him. “For risking your life on the night of my first full moon. You saved me.”

He took this into consideration. “Well, I didn’t do it--”

“For me?” I asked. “I know.” I recognized deep down why Derek did what he did that night, but it hurt much more to admit it out loud. “I know that you did it for Scott, and that’s okay. I know his alliance is important to you.”

He opened his mouth to protest. “That’s not what I was--”

I suddenly felt hyper aware of how ridiculous I sounded trying to explain myself to him. The warm, fuzzy feeling of attraction was gone. Instead, it was replaced by a hollow emptiness and a fiery desire to get the hell away from here-- from him.

“A life for a life, Derek,” I stated bluntly. “You saved my life, and now I’ve saved yours. Don’t read too much into it. I was simply returning the favor.”

Without so much as a goodbye, I turned on my heel and walked out into the cold autumn night. Every fiber of my body wanted to look back, to fetch for some sort of reaction, but I couldn’t go down that path. Not with Derek. I knew better than that.

I needed to be better than that.

TAGS

@broco8​

@slytherinrising​

[jyunshiim]

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬; 𝙨𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙩 *✬★*’☽* ✬ ⤷𝘒𝘪𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘯 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘶

Genre → romance | angst | friends to acquaintances | friends to lovers | college!au |

Contains → fluff | angst | Kihyun x reader ft Changkyun

Listen to →  Compass

Word count → 4207 words

TW → –

Chapters → | Chapter 2 | 

Summary: Best friends since childhood, you and Kihyun had always been by each other’s side before things began to turn in a different direction on Prom night. From then, things changed when you both transferred to college/university. Bonds collapse, deception and fear; what will the future hold?

[ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏 ]

９ ｙｅａｒｓ ａｇｏ． ． ．

You remembered your mother’s fingers tap against her arm as she leaned upon the ivory door frame of your best friends’ bedroom. “can I please stay a little longer, Kihyun and I haven’t even finished building the house yet,” you pleaded to your mother who had a smile painted across her face despite being tired from her job and taking care of you. “We have to go now, who will feed Kiwi?” She pretends to be concerned knowing it’ll lure you back home. “no, no I will feed Kiwi,” you immediately stand up and leave the little lego pieces on the floor. “I have to go and feed my cat now,” you from at a tiny Kihyun who sat distraught at the fact you were leaving him. The sky darkened and the nocturnal animals were ought to come out around now. “wave goodbye,” your mother nudges you gently and so you do, with a wide smile and your eyes full of hope.  

You and Kihyun met in daycare and ever since you became best friends. You did everything together and it went on into your senior years of school.

Moving on to further education, you and Kihyun attended the same schools including high school. High school was full of surprises and also many arguments too; friendships aren’t all as smooth as it seems. Kihyun waited at your locker after every lesson you had so you could both sit together with your other friends. Kihyun’s  5’7 slender physique leaned against the cool steel of the locker, his phone sitting in the curve of his hand, scrolling through what seems to be his text messages. He texted you around 3 minutes ago and huffed impatiently – he wasn’t the most patient person in the world - wondering where you were since your class finished exactly 3 minutes ago. The hallways were congested to the point where pushing pass was necessary. The scattered ‘excuse me’s and ‘sorry can I get past please’ were ever so repetitive but it got you through your high school experience up until now. You see Kihyun at your locker, his head resting against the steel.

“what took you so long?” his voice was fruity and oddly comforting to listen to. “my teacher wouldn’t shut up about our late assignments and was setting us more, I had no control over that,” you respond instantaneously as his arm draped around your shoulders. “right, I’ll give that to you,” he tuts and rolls his eyes playfully.

The pair of you ambled through the hallways towards the cafeteria and set your belongings down onto the round table and onto the chairs beside you to reserve them for your other friends since they were coming from the other side of the school. “Jooheon and Changkyun take so long to get here, I’m going to get food, do you want anything?” he asks you waiting to respond. “oh umm- yeah maybe like a sandwich or something?” you suggest. “That’s not enough, I’m buying you a meal,” he informed politely. – of course he’ll buy you a meal –

Jooheon and Changkyun finally make their way to the table where you sat, keeping it occupied so no one else sat there. “Yo where did Kihyun go?” Jooheon asks as he gets out a Kimbap roll from his bag and rips open the packet. You point at the queue where Kihyun was and notice a girl being pushed closer to him by her friends. “There they go again,” Changkyun sighs, “Let me go and help him.” Changkyun always knew these girls will throw themselves at whatever guy they would want to get their attention from and Kihyun hated it.

“o-oh sorry, I’ll keep moving forward,” He apologises to the girls knowing what they were doing. “It’s okay Kihyunnie,” the girl purred; Kihyun could swear he just threw up in his mouth. He ignored her until Changkyun came to save the day. “Kihyun how you doing?” his American accent ringing through the cafeteria. “Ah yes, the English card,” Jooheon nods whilst munching his roll. “Oh is this for me? Thanks, I’ll pay,” Changkyun says as he swipes his card and takes both trays with him and places it on the table. The girls look shaken behind them but in return Changkyun flashes a smug smile before seating himself next to you. “I hate them, they think they can do anything to get what they want,” Changkyun sighs, “you bought bought her lunch again but not for me, how sad,” He tuts, “ you need to pay me back since I paid for it actually so next ones on you alright?” he jokes with Kihyun before sliding the tray in front of you. “Thank you but you didn’t have to,” you pick up the cutlery that was on the tray. The girls walk past, their face painted with disgust whispering something to one another. Was it about you? The 4 of you sat together and talked about your lessons and gossiped about your teachers and also talked about that group of girls who have become an infection to your school. Luckily it was very soon until the end of the entire high school experience since prom was in a few months.

After you lunch break you didn’t have any classes left so you were contemplating whether to go home or stay to study. “Hey Kihyun, are you going to go home or stay to study?” you ask him, your honeyed tone captivating his attention. “Probably, I have a test to study for, do you want to go to the library or to some café?” he asks you. You think for a moment. It’d be more logical to stay at school and study in the library; “the library, I don’t think I can focus at a café,” You grab your books and notes from you locker and make your way to the library and find a table to sit at with Kihyun. The library was slightly fuller than usual, the tables had spaces for 4-6 people but it was only you and Kihyun sitting behind a shelf of books. You set your books and notebooks out for your Business class and open your text book which has an assortment of coloured sticky notes which were highlighted and extremely condensed down. “how?” Kihyun stares in awe at your study notes. “what? My notes?” you point at them “they’re really helpful, that extra effort its worth it” you smile softly at him. “yeah I know but how do you do it, I don’t even know where to start from.” Kihyun sighs. You delve into your bag again and grasp a hold of your transparent stationary holder which was filled with sticky notes, pens and bookmark sticky tabs. You pull your seat closer to Kihyun’s and move your hair behind your ear to help him and teach him how to take notes. You open his law textbook  and ask him what he needs to learn or understand so you knew where to start. “easy right?” you smile as you pass him some notes and memo sheets and he nodded his head, making himself believe that he new what he was doing. You turned back around to look at you textbooks, your eyes scanning the text book although Kihyun’s eyes often glanced away from the paper and pen and was captured by how focused you were, how you would unconsciously tuck your hair behind your ear, how your eyes scan the text you were reading and then articulate it into something concise yet informative. He needed a quick break to grab some water but you didn’t notice that he left since you were focused on studying. He placed a plastic cup on your desk and tapped your shoulder. “make sure you drink? Water is good for your brain” Kihyun smiles at you before sitting back down. “o-oh thank you!” you take the cup and drink the water, “I was going to have a short break anyway to get some water, how’s your notes going?” you ask him looking over to see a few notes here and there but he tried to cover it. “u-uh it’s, going okay.” You stand up to see the other side of him, he was doing quite well and learning how to take notes like you. “see you are doing good, isn’t it so much easier?” you ask him. He nods and hums his response. “don’t worry you’ll get the hang of it,” you nudge him softly.

An hour and a half passes and it was time to go home. You gather all your belongings organising them and putting them back into your bag, reaching for your jacket to which you find isn’t there to your surprise. “o-oh,” you sounded confused “ did I bring my jacket with me?” you ask Kihyun who had already shoved his textbook into his bag. “Oh um, You didn’t bring it with you from the cafeteria you might’ve left it there,” he shrugs “ we can go and look for it now?” He suggests and you agree with him, opening the doors to the library to leave. The school was oddly quiet. Probably because everyone leaves incredibly quickly but you and Kihyun make your way to the cafeteria and nothing was there. “ugh,” you grunt sounding annoyed “ whatever, I’ll look tomorrow and lost and found,” you drag yourself out of the cafeteria and head towards the exit.

“hey dumpling,” Changkyun calls out to get your attention. “stop calling me dumpling, It’s not cute or endearing,” you sigh “why are you still here?” you ask. “seems like someone lost their jacket,” he holds it in his hand, “ you have to get it though,” his smug smile appears gradually. You sigh and try to grab however he pulls It away from you and decides to mess with you and hold It above his head. “awh look at you, you can’t even reach it, that’s so cute” he chuckles. “just give it back, I want to go home” you whine before giving up, “I’ll walk home COLD then.” You turn around and walk knowing he’ll give it back; “okay okay hey, HEY, take it,” he says as he drapes it over your shoulder and Kihyun follows hands in his pockets. Walks home with Kihyun and Changkyun started to become the norm since the start of high school until now. You knew that once you move, everything will change and it haunted you so you enjoyed the moment whilst it lasted.

You arrived at your house and you wave your friends goodbye. “when will your mum make that soup again?” Changkyun asks. “I’m not too sure, I can ask her to make it on Friday?” You suggest. They both look at each other and nod their heads in unison.

It was late in the evening and you open your laptop; 9:45pm. You sigh. It’s been exhausting but you spent all evening tidying, cleaning and also resting after your meal. You lean back into your desk chair, the squeak startling your puppy Lucas. He hid under your bed from the sound then soon after leaving the dark abyss under your bed with a squeaky red ball. You open a word document that had over 9 thousand words for a project that you were doing for your business class. You’d study all night for your classes, some nights on call to Kihyun or another one of your friends, Irene. Tonight, you felt like being alone for some reason, perhaps because your best friend was a distraction?  - I’m probably a distraction too – you think to yourself. You look at your computer and think to play something just to get your mind off school for once. You had a selection of things to do for your classes but a slight break from school wouldn’t hurt. The bright screen of your PC lit up your dimly lit room, your window open to let in the winters breeze as well as the moon beaning outside of your window tonight. You grab your headphones and plug them into the headphone jack and you see Changkyun playing the game you wanted to play.

“Yo look at who’s on,” he says in his annoying mocking tone. “you’ve seen me play before, don’t act so surprised,” you scoff, “is Kihyun playing today?” you ask Changkyun. “I don’t think so, he said he had some notes to finish and study, what a loser,” Changkyun laughs “ I mean, he lives up to that name doesn’t he,” making you laugh a little. Changkyun had always been there for you and for Kihyun, making you and Kihyun always make up by doing the most absurd things he could think of. He comforted you as well as Kihyun.

Whilst you wait in the lobby, your phone screen lights up blue with a notification from Kihyun. It was a text message.

“hey my wifi died but I was going to message you to ask what you are doing?” Kihyun texted you. You responded back almost immediately; “ I’m online playing with Changkyun hbu?” you ask. The response was delayed by a couple minutes. “I’m studying atm, if only if could go online I’d play with you” he responds with a sad faced emoticon. “I wish you could too, maybe have an early night and rest, I’ll go in a bit too,” You message him. “I’ll go whenever you do,” – that’s new, he never used to wait for you– “I mean the rounds are really long but we can call if you want,” you tap at your screen. “ it’s okay, just message me okay,”

You start a round with Changkyun, immersing yourself into the game and occasionally yelling when he’d kill you or when he’d win. “hey! That’s not fair I was drinking!” you squeal when he sneaks around the corner and gets his final kill. “no! how?” you growl. “I have never heard you grown on voice chat,” Chankgyun burts into laughter “it’s cute don’t worry, it’s like a little tiger cub.” You hand reaches for your phone to text Kihyun; it had been at least 30 minutes since you last messaged him. “hey Yoo, you still awake?” you press the blue send button and wait for the response. You kept your phone unlocked and settled it onto your desk beside your pink bunny plushie Kihyun got for your birthday which was placed next to a framed photo of you both. You glanced at your phone every second but he hadn’t opened it or read the message, perhaps he fell asleep waiting for you? “Oi why are you so quiet? Did anything happen?” Changkyun noticed the drastic change in your behaviour. “oh it’s nothing I was just waiting for Kihyun to reply but I think he fell asleep.” You lock your phone after sending him a goodnight. “yeah probably, he doesn’t study for this long so many he just fell asleep and it is 1am-” he reminds you. “1am! Shit I need to go to bed,” you scurry around and put your things away, “I’ll play with you tomorrow or something whenever Kihyun is free, I’ll be going to bed now Goodnight!” you frantically leave the game and wash up and get ready for bed. You lean against your oak headboard, your phone between your hands and scroll through your Instagram. The girls who tried to shoot their shot posted and you felt a pit fall in your stomach making your mouth go bitter.– Why do they think they’re so entitled?– you scoff before locking your phone and setting it onto the wireless charging pad you got from Irene. You lay in your bed letting the cool air in your room circulating settle onto your skin making the little hairs on your arms raise. You close your eyes, your eyelids were heavy, and sunk into your mattress letting the cotton sheets intertwine with your body the warmth sheathing your body. You let out one last sigh before drifting off into a sound slumber.

6:30 am. You twist and turn until you turn your alarm off dragging yourself to your bathroom from your bedroom and push the tap up letting the water run until it went warm. You tiredly reached out for your toothbrush and toothpaste, squeezing the white paste from the tube then setting it down on the sink. Lucas whimpers at your feet wanting you to open the garden door for him so whilst you brushed your teeth you opened the garden door for him and continued your morning. You got dressed as usual and went to the kitchen to see what was for breakfast. It was an omelette roll and some sautéed vegetables. You quickly ate your breakfast with a cup of coffee and looked at your phone. “Good morning, sorry for not replying last night but studying is so exhausting! Are you taking the bus today?” Kihyun messages you. “yeah I am,” you reply sipping the bitter, lukewarm liquid from your cup before pouring it down the sink, “is it near my house?” you furiously type before bolting to your room to grab your bag, Airpods and your jacket. Before you were about to dash through the door, you remembered your lunch. “ugh whatever, I’ll just buy lunch,” you say to yourself before running to the bus stop.  You got there on time and go onto the bus; you search for Kihyun and there he was at the back, his bag reserving a seat for you before the girl from the day before spotted it thinking it was for her. – How humiliating– you slowly walk towards him.

“hey,” she flutters her lashes forcing her cutesy tone, “can I sit here?” she asks. Kihyun locks eyes with you and gulps, “oh um well- AH you are here!” he looks at you as you walk towards the two. You could see her eyes fill with fury and her blood could be heard boiling within her. “hey, did you save the seat for me?” you decided to pull her leg a little. She scoffs and turns around to realise that there are no seats, and she has to stand so she walked away and held onto the rings to keep her stable. “She won’t leave me alone,” Kihyun whispers to you, “what do I do?” you let out a soft laugh. “Don’t you know you get encounters like this because you’re single and prom is soon?” you shake your head “how naïve” you nudge him. “oh yeah true, you have a point.” He looks down at his phone scrolling through his feed and you glance over at him. “so, Kihyun, do you like anyone?” you hum leaning into him, trying to see his face, being playful like you usually are. “I-I don’t think I do,” he nods, “why are you asking?” his voice sounded apathetic when he replied. “did I say anything wrong? You sound really… off?” your playfulness disintegrated, and you were confused at his rapid change in emotion. “no you didn’t, I-I just didn’t have coffee this morning, I’m still a bit tired,” he clears his throat and looks outside, “Don’t worry about it, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He hands you a little chocolate truffle wrapped in gold.

The bus stopped at your school and you both got off however the girl shoved past you causing you to drop the wrapped chocolate on the floor which she then stepped on looking back to make sure you were looking. The evil in her eyes burned bright. Kihyun didn’t see what just happened since Changkyun ran up to him and began talking. You stand still for a second as people push past you, why was she so against you? –what did I do?– “Hey sleep well last night?” Changkyun asks you, his joyful voice added to his charismatic personality. “it was great, I had a nightmare that you broke into my house to get your final kill,” you laugh softly, “that wasn’t a good dream…” you roll your eyes. “wow, Kihyun do you hear this? She dreams of me,” Changkyun provokes you to react defensively, joking around with you. “You’re making it sound so wrong,” you yell. “you finish early right? Do you want to go for lunch together?” Kihyun’s honeyed voice asks you. “Of course, if you’re paying,” you smile endearingly. “Okay, I’ll pay” his arm wraps around your  shoulder before Changkyun decides to open his mouth again. “why don’t you just hold hands?” he jokes again “ you both look like a couple anyway,” He bites at his coffee straw. “No we don’t!” You laugh but only 2 of the three of you laughed at the harmless joke. “awh no, I have class,” Changkyun, “it’s fine you both can go we can hang out another day.”

Time was inching closer to your lunch break. It was nearly time to leave, just a couple more minutes. You eyed the time like you life depended on it, you were itching to leave the dingy classroom – I can’t wait to go to university– the ringing of the bell saves you from you thoughts eating you from inside. You dash out the door, or so you thought you would however Kihyun stood there waiting for you with your jacket he got from your locker. “Let’s go,” he smiles before putting his hand on your back and guiding you towards the exit. “damn you were quick,” you prodded his arm. “ well, you can always count on me, we’re like each others-“ he thinks for a moment, “we’re like each others Compass.” Kihyun’s words always sounded poetic one way or the other. He really knew how to sway you with his words, probably from all those years he made you feel comfortable and content whenever you had a hard time. “There’s this restaurant place down the road if you wanna go?” he points down the road. “oooh yeah sure, let’s go!” your ecstatic energy surprising Kihyun as you cling to his arm. He hesitated but the corner of his mouth curled into a smile and his hands rested in his pockets to seem as if he were chilled out in this situation when in fact he was yelling inside, at the top of his lungs.

The interior of the restaurant was simple yet pretty to look at. It was Bohemian inspired; the stained wooden chairs and tables and the white curtain like bunting on the plants above the ceiling. It also has an element of a rustic style too. You and Kihyun walked in and were seated; you look at the menu and your eyes scan down the laminated card. You point out a soup that you want and a drink too, “ these look really good!” you smile at him as he tries to keep himself at bay. “mmh yeah it does, I’ll get the same as you then!” He calls the waitress and orders what you wanted.  Lunched passed my sooner than you’d expected but you both get out your cards to pay.

“what are you doing?” Kihyun sounded perplexed to say the least. “paying for my lunch, what else Kihyun?” He pauses at you, eyeing you up and down then whisking the card away from you. “Not today, my treat okay?” he goes to a waitress as you wait at the table. He left his bracelet on the table so you swiped it into your bag to give to him later. When Kihyun turns around, it was like the gates of Heaven opened up; there was a luminescent glow outlining his angelic features, features that were carefully sculpted by groups of angels. He was just perfect. Whilst he leads you out, you both walk to the bus stop before he pauses and begins to speak. “you know you asked me if I like anyone,” he starts off getting your hopes up thinking he’ll tell you something that’d make your heart happy, “well, do you like anyone?” his head tilts like a little puppy would when they’re confused. “hmm..” you think, unconsciously smiling to yourself, “maybe maybe not Kihyun,” you shrug giggling at his ‘O’ shaped mouth. “You are unbelievable, did you know that,” he tuts, “whatever don’t tell me, the bus is here anyway.” The bus stops and he gets on scanning his pass and you follow and do the same. There were no seats so you both had to stand; he stood behind you and held the rings above and you held onto the railings. The bus jolted and you lost your balance slightly although managing to get a hold of yourself but at the next stop, a group entered the  vehicle and it was cramped. There was a middle aged man toppling onto you and as the bus jolted again he nearly crushed your petite frame until Kihyun shielded you. You looked at him. What an angel.

“Hey, Kihyun…” you whisper and he lowers down slightly to hear what you have to say with a cheerful bright smile on his face that beamed like a sun on a summers day, “you wanna know who I like right?” you giggle into his ears. His ears burned a pinkish-red; “I really really like Changkyun.”

––

➠ Chapter 2

[thechildoflightning]

Tectonic Plates- Ch2

Title: Tectonic Plates [Masterpost]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: None

~~~

Chapter Title: Convergent

Summary: 

Patton visits the doctor, gets ice cream with his siblings, and works on the group project. It's a lot more stressful then it seems.

Warnings: Memory Loss, Tics, Racism, Ableism, Dead-Naming

[ao3 link]

~~~

Chapter Two: Convergent

“Hi Patton,” the doctor greets, and he notes how she doesn’t even have to glance down at her sheet to remember his name. He’s here often enough.

“Hi,” he responds.

She starts with basic questions and Patton answers as normal. He’s already been asked the same by the nurse who came to check his blood pressure earlier.

“So you’re having larger memory gaps?” she finally gets to.

“Yeah,” Patton agrees, “Sometimes more than an hour long.”

“How often is that happening? And how long on average?”

“I don’t know,” he admits, and looks over at his mom. She has his journal out, and the stats ready to go.

“About once every week, averaging about fifty minutes that we’ve noticed,” she responds. The doctor nods and makes a note.

“Okay. And describe these gaps to me a bit more. Do you remember anything during that time?”

The conversation carries on, Patton and his mom receiting medical information as the doctor tries to piece together what’s going on.

“I think from here I’m going to order a blood test, a CT scan, and an EEG,” she tells them.

“That uh, seems like a lot,” Patton comments.

Holy shit his brain is really fucked up isn’t it?

“What are all those for?” his mom asks.

“Well these larger memory gaps are concerning- and considering we haven’t seen them in you before, Patton, I want to get a blood test to make sure we’re not overlooking any infections. The MRI we’ve down before and with that we’re looking for any noticeable changes in your brain. I also want an EEG, and this one specifically to track electrical ability in your brain to see if this is maybe the result of seizures.”

“You think I’m having seizures?” Patton asks.

“To be completely honest Patton- we don’t quite know what’s going on. We know your history of memory issues and loss is linked to you contracting meningitis at such a young age. Memory loss with meningitis isn’t unheard of. It does concern me that this seems to be getting dramatically worse, especially over a recent short period of times. That’s why I’m calling for these tests. And I do think there’s a potential that this new form of memory loss is in fact seizure activity, which you are also at increased chances of having due to meningitis. Hopefully these tests will allow us to get a clearer picture of what we’re looking at, so we can better deal with the issue on hand.”

That meant that they don’t know anything now.

And if they don’t know anything now, after sixteen years, that probably meant they weren’t ever going to know.

It’s one thing to adjust to new medical information, to get used to gaps in time and increased memory loss with results guiding them, tell Patton what was happening. 

It’s a whole different thing to have to get used to that without any further information, completely lost, stumbling through the dark.

Patton thinks he probably shouldn’t be wishing for a reason. Because a reason means something’s wrong with him. But, he already knows something’s wrong. At least a reason would explain that. Is it so bad to want a reason?

They set up the blood test, CT, and EEG appointments. Patton gets to go home after. He doesn’t feel up to homework, so he takes his binder off and lays down to take a nap. He’s so tired.

Of course, those plans are quickly foiled by his phone buzzing on his bedside table.

Patton groans but sits up carefully and reaches for the object. He opens it and reads through the texts.

It’s from a person named Sabrina, in a group chat, but Patton doesn’t know of any Sabrina’s. He scrolls up through past texts and quickly finds his answer. He’s in a group project with these kids for a class. 

He sighs and gets up to get his notebook for the class.

With the notebook now in hand he sits at his desk with it and his phone.

Sabrina has sent a long list of things they each need to do, spelling out each of their work in the project in exact detail. Patton’s a bit frustrated that she didn’t even bother to ask his input on what he wanted to do, but quickly brushes it off. He understands that it probably has to be incredibly frustrating to be in a group with him. Patton works at almost half the speed and has to constantly check with partners that they’re on the same page.

It’s- he wishes she would have asked him. It would have been nice. But he gets why she didn't. It isn’t a big deal.

He opens up his computer next to his notebook, and starts to work. He has the spoons to do work today, might as well.

Not much later, the door swings open and the dog starts barking, alerting Patton to the fact that his younger siblings are home. He can hear Liam chattering loudly and greeting the dog even as Dani stays silent at his side. Patton listens to their fading voices with a fond smile.

Except, their voices aren’t actually fading as they go up to their respective rooms. Instead, they’re getting closer, and suddenly there’s an excited knocking on his door.

“Eileeeeen,” Liam sings, “Can we come in?”

The use of his deadname twists in his stomach for a minute. He knows Liam doesn’t mean it, they’re all learning. Patton still finds him misgendering himself on occasion. 

Even so, it still hurts.

He could correct Liam. It’s just- Patton doesn’t want to make him feel bad. Plus it takes effort and it’s-

“Door’s open,” he replies, ignoring his thoughts.

Liam and Dani tumble in.

“Pat!” Liam says, zooming over to where Patton sits at his desk. He does a little bounce. “Can I give you a hug?”

“Course,” Patton responds, grinning down at his little brother easily, “Just be gentle please.”

Liam nods and embraces him, being especially careful around his back. Patton remembers how much he loves him as he holds him close.

“So? What’s up with the two of you?” Patton asks when Liam breaks the embrace.

“Me and Dani had an idea!” Liam announces.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Liam agrees, “We thought the three of us and Blythe could go out for ice cream!”

“It was Liam’s idea,” Dani quickly affirms, as if somehow trying to get out of going out for ice cream.

“Yeah it was!” Liam’s quick to agree, “Because Dani did really well on her math test today!”

Dani’s cheeks instantly turn red and she ducks her head.

“Liam,” she hisses out, “You said you wouldn’t say anything.”

“You did?!” Patton exclaims, “Dani that’s awesome!”

“It’s only because you sat and helped me,” she grumbles, “I couldn’t figure it out myself.”

“I barely helped,” Patton and insists, “and either way, you did it yourself on the test. And it’s not a bad thing to need help.”

Dani ducks her head again and continues to blsh vibrantly.

“So can we go for ice cream?” Liam pushes.

“Go get Blythe and we can,” Patton tells him. 

Logan immediately leaves Patton;’s side, sprinting out of his room and upstairs to locate Blythe, shrieking all the way.

Dani rolls her eyes at Liam’s actions.

“Hey don’t roll your eyes,” Patton teases, “Who was it that tried to sled down the stairs in a bucket of stuffed animals?”

“Patton!” she groans, “That was one time!”

“And who is it that helps Liam wake up everyone with ear-piercing screeches on Christmas morning?”

“Ugh!” she groans, and storms out of the room, but the small smile on her face doesn’t escape Patton’s notice.

Patton stands to put on a bra before following her out of his room. He meets her in the living room just as Blythe and Liam are coming down the stairs.

“I- huh- heard we’re getting ice cream apparently- ah?” she says.

“I guess so,” Patton agrees.

She sighs, smile also fond if a bit exasperated, and herds them all to the car.

Patton forgets the ride there. He writes himself a note and pulls Blythe quietly aside to inform her so he doesn’t forget to add it to his log.

Liam leads the way to the ice cream parlor and he’s about to race the final stretch to the door when a woman stops Dani.

“Are you okay?” she asks, peering intentionally at Dani.

Patton’s big brother instincts step in full speed, he scans Dani over looking for any signs of harm, physical, emotional, or otherwise.

But Dani just seems confused.

“What, yeah I’m fine?”

The woman purses her lips and leans down to whisper- though it’s plenty loud enough for Patton, Blythe, and Liam to hear.

“Do you know these people?” she asks, eyebrows knitted in tense concern as her eyes scan the three of them warily. Patton feels his stomach sink. Blythe takes a half step to the side to block Liam from view.

Dani looks outright murderous.

Patton internally begs her to think before she speaks.

“Yes,” she says, “I’m getting ice cream with my siblings. I’m fine.”

The woman blinks.

“Oh these are your siblings? But you’re…” she trails off, but all of them knew what she was going to say. White. Dani’s white. Blythe, Patton, and Liam aren’t. 

“Bye,” Dani says coldly, and turns away.

The woman mutters something and leaves. 

Exactly after, Blythe shakes her head with a suppressed tic and her arm follows. She lets out a loud yelp and immediately slams a hand over her mouth as she turns to watch the still retreating women in fear. She doesn’t turn around. Blythe takes her hand away. Liam’s smaller one clings onto it.

Besides Blythe’s tics, they’re all silently frozen for a minute.

“Hey Liam,” Dani asks, “What ice cream are you going to get.”

Liam looks up at her and pushes a smile back on his face.

“I dunno,” he says, and his cheerfulness only seems a little bit forced, “There’s so many choices. There’s strawberry but I also really like chocolate, but the sherbet is so pretty. Oh! And the cotton candy made my tongue turn blue once! That was fun!” he rambles, and the four of them continue towards the store.

Liam, predictably chooses rocky road. He almost always does, no matter how often he talks about all the other flavors. Patton doesn’t really get it. He gets cookie dough this time.

Patton’s knee is starting to hurt, so he takes his ice cream and herds his siblings to a table as Blythe pays.

“How’s your day been?” Blythe asks at one point when Dani is busy scowling at Liam as he tries to convince her to play a game with him.

“Eh,” Patton admits, because Blythe he’s always been able to be honest around, “Doctor went fine, but was frustrating. Same thing as always- they have no clue what’s going on. But I’ve had a surprising amount of spoons today which has been nice.”

“Spoons,” Liam speaks up, “But you only have one?” He stares in confusion at Patton’s spoon in his ice cream.

Patton smiles at him.

“Yeah. This is a different type of spoon.”

“What other types of spoons are there?”

“Lemme show you,” Patton. He looks around, but doesn’t find any spoons. But Blythe is a;ready way ahead of him, speaking to someone at the counter with a smile. The person’s face is drawn and they are a bit, but they pass over a large handful of spoons regardless.

“Okay,” Patton says as Blythe hands him the spoons. “This is something called spoon theory. I’m going to have you hold the spoons, and then we’re going to talk about your day.”

“Okay?” Liam says, confused even as Patton hands him the spoons. His smaller hands hold them awkwardly.

“So walk me through your day, share everything you did.”

“I got up and went to school today?” Liam says, almost like it’s a question.

“That’s good,” Patton encourages, “but more detail. What did you do very first today?”

“I woke up and got out of bed.”

Patton nods, and reaches over and takes a spoon from his brother’s hands. Liam looks up at him in shock.

“You took the spoon!”

“Yup,” Patton agrees, “What’s the next thing you did?”

“I took a shower.”

Another spoon is taken away. Liam doesn’t say anything this time, but watches Patton. Dani, who was previously looking at the window, tries to subtly focus her attention on what’s happening.

“I ate breakfast. I got my backpack ready for school. I walked to school. I went to all my classes. I walked home from school.”

Five more spoons disappear. Liam has less than half left.

“What happens when the spoons run out?” he asks.

“What do you think happens?” Patton encourages. Because there’s no real way for Liam to understand his life, there’s no way for Liam to understand the constant pain, the draining energy, the calculations Patton puts into each day. This is the best metaphor he’s heard of.

“Well you’re taking away spoons when I do something,” he says, “So… if I run out I can’t do more things?”

“Exactly. Good job,” Patton praises.

Liam grins at the attention, but his expression quickly morphs into a frown.

“What if I run out of spoons before the day’s over? And I can’t do anything? What happens if I don’t have more spoons?”

“You have to wait until you get spoons back,” Patton explains. “Sometimes resting helps, sometimes you just have to wait. Sometimes you wake up and you start with more spoons, or less.”

“I don’t- I don’t think I run out of spoons?” Liam says. “I don’t get it.”

“That’s okay,” Patton encourages, “It’s not supposed to be you, it’s supposed to be me.”

“Well why do you have spoons and I don’t? Am I going to get spoons one day? It doesn’t seem very good.”

“I have spoons because I’m disabled. It’s how my life works. I start with spoons and I have to learn how to use them and manage them so I don’t run out. And that can be really hard.”

“So you rest more. And can’t do as many things sometimes,” Liam adds on.

“Yeah,” Patton encourages.

Liam frowns and quickly whispers some things to himself, setting down spoons as he does so. Eventually, all of them rest on the table.

“There’s not enough spoons for ice cream,” he realizes. “I’m sorry. I made you come.”

“You didn’t make me come,” Patton tells him, “Ice cream did take a spoon. But I have a bit more spoons today, and it was a spoon I was willing to spend. I’m okay. I just need you to listen to me when I sometimes say I can’t do things or need a break or need more time. Okay? Can you do that?”

“Yes!” Liam is quick to reassure. Dani nods slightly off to the side.

“Awesome,” Pat says, “Thank you.”

Soon enough, Liam is rambling about his day again, even getting Dani to chip in about hers as they finish their melting ice cream. It’s a nice moment.

-

The next morning Patton wakes up to a screeching alarm clock and a buzzing phone. He groans, shutting the alarm off first before checking his texts.

It’s a group chat, with three names he doesn’t recognize, asking him about dates for something. He frowns and opens it, scrolling up the chat to realize it’s a group project for one of his classes. They’re asking him about dates to meet up. 

But the dates they sent don’t work for him, Patton knows they don't. Why don’t they?

He checks his phone calendar, realizes that’s when he has to go back to the doctor. He- he has to get some tests done, right? 

He’ll check his notes later to be sure. Right now he needs to text the group chat that he can’t do those dates

To: Group

Patton: Sorry cant do those times. Doctors appointment.

Now that that’s done, he gets out of bed. 

And the moment he stands a spasm of pain rolls through his back. He catches himself on his bed before he falls over and hisses through grit teeth. The pain starts to subside. Somewhat.

He takes a breath. He waits a minute. Then, he carefully stands full upright, focusing on each tiny movement his back makes.

It feels like it’s on fire. But at least now it’s starting to simmer versus torch him. He carefully rolls his shoulders. His back settles somewhat, settling at a low familiar ache. Patton doesn’t risk his binder today. Dysphoria sucks, but the chance of causing further damage to his back and increasing his pain isn;t worth it. He grabs his cane.

-

Patton’s day sucks.

His back continues to spasm at random points, sending harsh shooting pains all across it. He doesn’t want to risk stretching out at school, where he doesn’t have a place to lie down or someone to help him if he needs it. But he’s pretty sure that sitting all day is making it worse. 

It hurts.

But finally it’s his last class of the day and the bell’s ringing and Patton can finally go home and there’s a person approaching him and she’s saying his name and Patton really does not want to talk to anyone right now he wants to rest.

But Patton doesn’t know what she wants, maybe she needs something, so he puts on a bright grin and nods in her direction from his seat.

“You can't keep flaking,” she tells him.

Patton blinks- unsure what she’s even talking about. She seems to know him but Patton has literally zero clue who she is and he doubts she’d be okay with him asking if her aggressive attitude is anything to go off of.

“What?” he says instead.

“Look. This is a group project. That’s two days in a row you’ve said you can’t meet up during, with the same excuse of a doctor’s visit. You need to put in effort here.”

Oh. Patton knows who she is now.

There’s a little bit of anger that comes with her statement too. Because here she is, coming in with anger and aggression because Patton’s missed two days and automatically assumes he’s lying. He gets it- most people don’t go to the doctor as often as he does. But she could have been nicer.

Patton doesn’t blame her though. Maybe she’s had a bad day. Most people do use the “I have to go to the doctor” excuse. 

Either way, she does need to hear the truth.

“I wasn’t flaking,” he insists.

“Really?” she asks, an eyebrow raised and shaking her head, “Two doctor’s appointments in two weeks?”

“Yes.”

“What could you possibly need to see a doctor about twice in two weeks now?”

Patton admits that at this point his patience is thinning. He’s telling the truth and now she’s pressing into his private medical information and it’s not fair. It’s not fair, Patton shouldn’t have to share this with her but she expects him to. Why is Patton expected to share everything medical with everyone?

She doesn’t know though. She doesn’t know. She doesn’t know.

That makes it okay?

“That’s private information,” he eventually settles on.

She’s not going to believe him. She’s not- Patton can see it on her face, her disbelieving eyes, her scorn. She doesn’t believe and there’s no way she will unless Patton tells her everything- about how his memory doesn’t fucking work and sometimes he forgets huge chunks of times and he still doesn’t know her name and forgets that he’s even in a group project because his memory doesn’t even work-

She huffs.

She doesn’t believe him.

“This project is really important,” she tells him, “And I need an A in this class. Get your shit together.”

She storms out of the classroom.

Patton sighs, takes a breath. It’s surprisingly hard to breathe. He stands carefully, watching his back for any signs that it doesn’t like what he’s doing. It hurts. He stands, grabs his cane, leaves the classroom. He goes home. He’s not sure what else he can do.

~

Taglist Below

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[stareiiez]

Flower Petals and Blood

Chapter Five

Word count: 4k words

Pairings: Lavernius Tucker/ Reader, Leonard Church/ Reader

Genre: Angst, Slowburn, Hanahaki Disease AU, Hints at Love Triangle, Angst, Fluff, Eventual smut, Sexual tension, Smut, 18+ & 21 content.

Author’s note: Okay so finally? FINALLY, finally I uploaded and updated this series and I’m so happy from the positivity that you guys have had to the previous chapters and the twist I’m having on the characters/ plot. Any way, this centers more around the Tucker/ Reader dynamic and away from the disease for now. Enjoy!

The morning after you had puked your guts up of velvet like sharp petals on the roof of Blue base you were holed up in your room. Your throat was still sore and scratchy from the abuse it constantly goes through. One large sleep shirt that donned the Blue Team logo on the front. Notebooks were scattered upon the other half of your bed, various scribbled notes in black ink stained white paper and your fingers.  The streams of late morning sunlight were painted against your features as you turned to stare at the dying small pile of flower petals on your dresser. The golden light seemed to make the sort of tense and tired aura your bedroom had, to seem a little brighter.  You hadn't even bothered to remove them from your bedroom, the action seemed too tiring for your body. With a tired yawn, you had rubbed the last remaining traces of sleep from your eyes. You weren't planning on doing much today. Taking more notes about your current ongoing disease and looking up some sort of solution was what kept you up late at night.  Hell, maybe you would even let Doc run more physical tests on your body like you were some lab experiment in Red Base. Maybe Sarge wouldn't mind you wandering aimlessly into their base unannounced and armed, naturally.  Sarge probably also wouldn't mind you coughing up light blue and darker blue flower petals on his floor. It was bad enough he didn't 'allow blue bastards' in his base, but seeing even more shades of blue in his base? The gruff male would be practically shoving his shotgun down your throat and threatening to shove his boot up your ass for trying to infect his men with some sort of 'blue team disease.'

You didn't need to have any more stress to risk another upchuck that nearly kills you in front of someone new every day. It was bad enough Caboose, Doc and now Tucker knew about your condition. Church was probably the next one to know if you weren't too careful for trying to choke down another wave of crashing emotions that would rip your heart apart. God, Church, he could manifest anywhere he would want to. Knowing your own luck, maybe he already came into your room to talk to you while you were asleep and saw your evidence for this cursed illness. That random thought you had, sent your eyes to widen slightly and your body to launch up out of bed at a too quick pace for your sleepy brain to handle. You crossed the small distance from your bed to scoop up the still soft flower petals and dumped them in a drawer of your dresser. Cursing yourself for even stressing this early in the morning, you let out a puff of air, your right hand rose to run its fingers through your slight bed head tangled locks. You winced from the harsh few tugs before wincing once again when a sharp knock on your door jolted your senses.

It was too early to even talk to anyone, your head hasn't even caught up with your body's actions yet at this point. All you wanted to do was sleep and stay curled up in bed and hide from the world while coughing your poor lungs out.  

"What?" You said through slightly gritted teeth, brows raising in slight agitation from whoever was standing outside your door.

"Are you dead? Caboose has been panicking about if you were drowning in flowers yet." Tucker's voice floated through from the other side of your door.

Oh, how to be graced so early in the day by one of the people you didn't want to be around while dealing with this sickness. With a small scoff, you had turned to address your closed door, chest tightening slightly from the thought of the aqua soldier even bothering to worry about you in the first place. Hell, you were probably crazy to think differently, Tucker wasn't some heartless asshole he was just some horny, self-centered asshole.  Only he was slightly better than Church for only caring about himself.

"Are you sure you're here because of Caboose, or because you were worried yourself." You spoke, walking closer to your doorway and opening the steel door enough to get a good look at the male in front of you.

Tucker was dressed casually for once, in sweats and a standard black shirt. His long dark brown and very light brown locks were tied up in a neat ponytail, a few dreads were starting to fall from the updo and casually frame his angled face. His gaze landed on you before it drifted over your head to rest on your bed. His eyebrow cocking at the sight of your late night notes covering your sheets.

"What? No. Maybe, move we need to talk." Tucker said before he gently pushed you out of the way and then closed the door behind him once the door of your bedroom closed.

The male had made himself surprisingly comfy by seating himself on your bed and reaching over to pick up the notes you had scribbled on. A small scoff escaped his lips when he read 'Nature can suck my balls' underlined multiplied times. Clearly, you were frustrated up until that point. His fingers traced over your chicken scratch like the wording, and couldn't help an annoyingly like smirk to grace his features.

"Alright what exactly are you doing here, because usually, you would have come up with some stupid pick up line for sex by now," You turned to cast Tucker a look, one eyebrow rose in suspicion?

A moment ticked by, and your breath held before Tucker lifted his head to meet your eyes. Eyes locked on each other.

"What the hell are you doing coughing up flowers like you're some goddamn freak?!" Tucker blurted out. Ah, there it is, you were waiting for that time were one by one the members of either Red or Blue would come knocking on your door demanding answers if they ever saw your disease.

"It's a magic trick, surprise." You deadpanned, your voice lacking emotion.

"Very funny." Tucker rolled his eyes before he tilted his head, a dark brow raising in a hint of his impatience. "Now tell me the truth." There was a pregnant pause between you two, both pair of eyes locked on one another. One slightly pleading for answers, the other way too stubborn that was staring daggers at chocolate brown orbs.

Finally a sharp from your lips broke the silence, this was going on for far too long anyway. You couldn't be that stubborn anyway, you were practically dying day by day and petal by fucking petal. Besides, Tucker had watched you puke right after Church left. You couldn't dance around the truth anymore as much as you want to.

"Okay, okay." You sighed, you walked closer to Tucker. His eyes trained on your form while you sat down next to him. You situated yourself on the bed so you were facing the male, who in turn followed your lead to sit face to face.

Taking one deep breath you went into detail about your complicated relationship with Church. Much to your own embarrassment, and with flushed cheeks you told Tucker about the first time you actually slept with Church.

The one time you were found halfway tipsy with the oldest bottle of Jack Daniels gripped in your right hand, and your body laid lazily stretched out on the ratty couch cushions in the living room. Your cheeks had a small, drunken blush staining your features, and your eyes were glassy as they were locked upon Church's. You were a sight, to say the least when Church happened to walk in to find Tucker and help him start up the tank once again. Out of all the people out of Blue Team, except Caboose, you seemed to drink the least, but given any rare occasion, you would out drink anyone and happen to get drunker than anyone at the same time.

"Take a picture you little cunt, it will last a lot longer." You scoffed, a harsh slur to your words made you sound funny in your ears. Your brows knitted, you sounded like your voice was muffled and you had cotton balls in your ears.

Church rolled his eyes, his dark blue eyes had wandered over your stretched form. Orbs drinking in your lithe frame until they raked back up to meet your unsteady gaze. You knew he was staring, and with a few or more shots of liquid courage that you had in your system, you eagerly enjoyed being stared at.

"Where is everybody? Why aren't you being watched and why the fuck are you drinking so early in the day?" Church bit out. He walked over to you and easily snatched the more than half empty bottle of whiskey.

The liquid in the bottle sloshing recklessly back and forth. At his harsh action, a drunken whine left your alcohol-soaked lips. You didn't hesitate to reach out in failing attempts to grab the bottle back from a glaring Church, who was starting to raise the whiskey bottle over his head. Whiskey bottle out of reach, and with your drunk ass being too lazy and uncoordinated to stand up from the couch and reach for it yourself, you laid back down against the somewhat comfortable cushions.

"I had enough of you screaming your lungs about how you're going to kill everyone on Blue Team and yourself just because Caboose crashed something. Besides its what? Eleven pm right now? Lay off, old man." You scoffed your top lip curling into a snarl.

"How long have you been awake?"  Church asked, his eyes watching your unsteady gaze that was wavering back and forth from him to what he was holding.

"Ten minutes." You said you started to get up this time just as Church scoffed in disgust. Clearly, there was no time limit when it came to drinking. 'It's always five o'clock somewhere.' was your overused excused when the Blue leader would catch you drinking.  "Now give me." You drunkenly demanded.

"Interesting." Church droned on before a sigh slipped past his lips, your demand has his eyebrows drawing together in slight irritation. "Come get it then."  The male stated, and to his own amusement, he started to back away from your position on the couch.  

Church watched your unsteady movements, his feet were scooting back step by small step as he watched a sort of sparkling determination to drink some more. It was frustrating to your mind on why the male was backing more and more away from your clumsy footsteps. You swayed like a zombie that wasn't set on eating brains but just consuming the last bit of whiskey without a single regret. After a slow three minutes of a constant pattern of your sock covered feet sliding against the rough floor in sluggish movements, and Church backing up. The male had pressed his back against the wall, finally trapped. Your alcohol-soaked breath fanned against his face, and his nose scrunched slightly from the smell of it. Your drunk brain couldn't register how close you two were, noses just barely brushing up against each other and one hand was planted against his chest. Your weight settled on your tiptoes as you reached up to grab the bottle for the last time. Your other hand was grasping his scrawny, yet toned, arm.

Church stared at your flushed face thanks to intoxication, your hands were so warm against his cool skin and your chest was barely coming in contact with his own.

"Give me the drink already, you cunt." You growled out, weight swaying back and forth on your toes, that were cramping from holding your form up.

"Make me." Church challenged, his head dipping down slightly to stare you in the glazed over eyes. He was short, but he wasn't that short to still have a height advantage over you.

Call it stupidity and maybe you can blame the several bottles of alcohol you consumed but the tone in his voice for how he challenged you in the form of a tease, pushed your libido into action. The hand that was on his chest pushed Church more up against the wall. Dropping down onto your feet, you had leaned more into his chest and captured his lips in a swift kiss.  To say Church wasn't expecting you to kiss him was an understatement, he wanted this. Whether he could admit it or not, but the male always wanted to kiss you; to touch you in ways that would make any girl blush. Dear God, maybe he hung around Tucker way too much to know how exactly to touch someone. He was too uptight to even pay attention, but even he couldn't stop his hands from moving on their own and settle wherever they pleased.

Wrapped up in the drunk kiss, his arm that held the bottle lowered and encircled your waist tightly. His other hand had moved to rest against your cheek, a shaky breath escaped his lips when your teeth had decided to bite down on his bottom lip and pull gently at the chapped flesh.  His lungs were starting to burn slightly from the lack of oxygen but the feeling of your tongue invading his mouth.

It was starting to heat up fast in the room, and all Church wanted to do was make it even hotter with you. Pulling away from the kiss with bated breath, his lips were swollen and bitten to bits by your teeth that was tugging relentlessly at his bottom lip. You were both panting slightly out of breath nearly stealing oxygen from each other.  From then you couldn't remember much but you had dragged Church into your room when you both heard the voices of Tucker and Caboose approaching the base. Drunken kisses mixed with heated quick bites were peppered along both of you, and slight bruises had decorated your hips when you woke up in your bed the next morning. Your throat was still sore from moaning and swallowing Church's dick whole when you went down on him. You woke naked in your twisted sheets that stunk heavily of sex and semen that had left more than one stain on your standard satin blue colored sheets. Church was nowhere to be seen and the only reminder you had of that day was his dark blue boxers that had still spots of precum that were tossed across your room. From that day on it turned into more quiet sex in your bedroom, or you dragging church by the chest plate to one of the caves and fuck him for as long as his libido could last.

Biting your lip, your gaze dropped slightly as your cheeks flushed in a slight embarrassing hue. For something so small as just screwing, that was caused by your drunken endeavors, had spiraled into something so complicated that it made your heart hurt a little more and flowers bloom in your lungs for that reason.  

"You are royally fucked." Tucker spoke up once you managed to finally stop spilling your only secret about fucking his 'leader' of Blue Team.

A small snort escaped your mouth before you lifted your embarrassed gaze to lock eyes with Tucker, who was biting his bottom lip in an attempt to snicker or at least try to teasingly grin just to lighten the mood.

"Well I might not be entirely, I stayed up all night trying to break this stupid illness." You stated, reaching over behind his back to grab at the opened book that held pages of notes and different stupid solutions that could or couldn't work on you.

Handing the book to the male beside you, you had laid back on your bed. Bare feet dangling over the edge of your bed. One hand nestled against the back of your head to support it and the others was rubbing at your tingling chest. The too familiar feeling of coughing or at least feeling your chest flutter with an itchy feeling that would probably cause a new round of spasming coughs if you thought about it for too long. Since yesterday you haven't coughed since, and you would be damned sure if you had to cough again so early in the morning. The flipping of pages and the soft chuckles that escaped Tucker's mouth was a sure sign that he was reading through everything you had written down hastily. It'd be a huge shock if he could even read what the hell you wrote, maybe he was laughing at your illegible crackhead ideas.

"Lung transplant and move to Mexico. That's a new one." Tucker said, his shoulders lightly shaking in chuckles that were being held back in order to save your crumbling dignity.

"Well, it sounds stupid when you say it out loud, Lavernius." You muttered bitterly, eyebrows knitting in how absurd you probably sounded for backing up that idea.

"Found any ones that have seemed to be a sure-fire way?" Tucker finally closed your book once his eyes scanned over the last thing you wrote down and underlined multiple times in bold, black lines.

Distraction."A distraction. Maybe if I can find something to take my mind off Church I can officially force my heart to accept something new and allow those damn flowers to wilt and die." Moving your other hand behind your head, your shoulders rose in a soft shrug.

"Think anyone would be willing to let you screw them for a few days just to get over this asshole?" Tucker asked, his head turning to gaze down at you as you had laughed in response.

"No, it's not all going to be sexual you dingus. I just need a friend or someone to take my time and steer me clear from trying to fall even more for that ghost of a human being."

Tucker closed the book and rested it on the bed before he had plopped down next to you on his side. His eyes roamed over your face for a moment before he spoke up. Well if no one does volunteer, and you're out of options. I volunteer."

"I'm not going to fuck you." You deadpanned. You tilted your head to look at him straight on and you'd be damned if you didn't notice how close you two were laying next to each other.

"I didn't say that I'm just saying if you maybe wanted to you know where my room is." The male wiggled his eyebrows rather seductively or so he hoped. To you his little eyebrow wiggle made him look way too funny but it did put a slow spreading smile on your face.

"I'll keep that in mind." You replied with a roll of your eyes. You rose one hand without thinking and brought it to his nose to flick the end in a taunt. He had grabbed your hand once you had flicked his nose. Fingers had nearly wrapped around your own and the flush of warmth had pressed upon your open palm.

Your breath hitched in your throat unconsciously and your gaze automatically drew to his deep chocolate brown orbs.  Neither of you spoke, but the shallow breathing that left your lungs was speaking volumes out loud.  You didn't know who moved closer to each other but nose you could feel his breath on your face and the tip of his own nose was brushing against yours. For someone who seemed to be so terrible on making a move, or being a 'ladies man,' Tucker had gained a blush down his neck and over his entire face. He turned several shades into a rich red color from just his emotions alone. Tucker swallowed noisily like even he could sense the shifting atmosphere in your room. From what turned into just a casual air had shifted heavily into something so dense that left the air around you warmer and thick.

The fingers around your hand had squeezed gently and tugged it so it was placed around the back of his neck. Tucker moved slowly like he was scared that you'd shove him away and kick him out for even as just laying a hand on your body.  Your other hand planted on his chest and you had moved until your chest was nearly brushing against the back of your hand. Tucker's other hand move to lay on your waist, fingers pressing against your side with the right amount of pressure that made you shiver in bliss.  Here's your distraction, take it and forget about that asshole already. You nearly scolded yourself, and you'd be damned if you weren't about to let this chance go. You couldn't, you were so vulnerable and Tucker was leaning in already. With another shaky breath that slipped past your parted mouth, the male had captured your lips with his own chapped ones.

Tucker kissed like he practiced for this, or like he had too much experience. You doubted the latter, every time you decided to retaliate in his inappropriate advances it left him stuttering and biting down on his tongue way too quickly. Overall the pressure of his lips had left you sighing contently into his mouth, your body relaxed even more as his arms now moved to wrap around your waist and pull you more into his solid chest. The smell of Tucker overwhelmed your senses and the hints of men body wash had your mind growing numb with pleasure. Both arms were now wrapped around his neck and your fingers were playing with the hairs on the back of his neck; leaving him to shiver under your touch. It brought a smirk to the corner of your mouth without even breaking the kiss. His lips had easily parted your own and allowed his smooth tongue to invade every corner of your mouth.

A small moan that you didn't mean to let out had escaped from the intrusion. The pressure of the kiss deepened and your lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen, but feeling lightheaded and kissing your teammate feverishly was something you didn't want to end. Finally, you pulled away, but not without sinking your teeth into his bottom lip and pulling at it lightly. A quiet groan had left Tucker, and the sound of panting filled the room. Your eyes locked once again for another moment before you started to lean in for another kiss.

A sharp knock had split you both apart and nearly had Tucker scrambling off your small bed. Your heart hammered in your chest from the sudden scare had you snap out of your short-lived libido of maybe screwing Tucker in your bedroom.

Your name was muffled behind the other side of the steel door by someone who was the last person you ever wanted to talk to. Texas. Running a hand through your hair, you spared a glance at Tucker who was trying to get his bearings. His lips were swollen from kisses and his eyes were glazed and dark, way darker than normal. The look he had nearly caused you to flock to his side again, but you couldn't with the black armored ex-freelancer standing outside your door. Taking in a quick breath you opened your door rather roughly and were face to face with a golden visor.

"May I help you?" You said, voice holding a bit of irritation. Your eyebrows twitched when Tex didn't respond but instead looked over your shoulder to see Tucker standing in the background. You hoped he managed to extinguish that heated look already, you didn't need Texas to ask you why the male looked like that.

"We need to talk," Texas spoke her gaze still glued to Tucker before her helmet tilted to now turn to face you once more. Your veins froze to icicles under your skin, and your eyes narrowed when she continued. "Alone."