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#he is :(( the best leader ever .... the bestest and i miss you so much already .... i hope you get plenty of rest tonight u deserve it .....
chnsfairy · 5 years
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just . chan w_____w
#not @ my crying on the bus as i type this#i have so many things i really dont know where to start ;; well i guess the beginning because im just so sad i hate myself#they came out and i thought i was dreaming my heart stopped :;;;; and there was chan just standing thereni started crying ajd screaming#hes so much more ???? beautiful and amazing and the most fucking perfect human ive ever met in real life :(( i couldnt take my eyes off him#everything he did was incredible and oh my god his voice :((( his laugh ..... my favorite sound in the world .... it made me frel like#im the happiest person alive rn ...... and oh my god his shirt like he woukd jump or spinnane JSKFMSKF CHIDDIES I SAW THE ALMIGHTY CHIDDIES#IN REALY LIFE IMSKDJSKDK I CANNOT BREATH I JUST ANDNSK AND HOLY SHIT HIS VOICE HIS VOICE HIS VOICE im never going to shup up about this#also 🥺💞 during get cool .... his voice was so high pitched it was adorable i wanted yo blow up rigjt where i was standing .... i love u#glittery just posted ogotos and i want to cry all over again i hate myself this is so stupid ;;; ur stupid .... u and ur dumb smile#please i cant with these photos i feel like i might be sick i miss him so fucking much i cant breath or just ........ yeah#i would do snything to go back and do it ahain .... to go back and see him just one more yime ..... please .... i was crying so much during#the hi touch i couldnt see properly and i just wish i didnt cry so fucking much ....... and when m.i.a. started u doing understand the#amount of emotions i went through within those minutes ... i cried and cried like a fucking babie ..... when chan is the real babie 🥺🥺#and him jumping over felix holy shit i just- ive seen it in videos but like ;_____; thats my man .... thats my babie ..... u kangaroo#also just 🥺 chan and felix kept fist bumping and giving each other hi fives i wanted to cry so much .... just his smile when looking at the#members .... or the crowd .... his giggles .... just ... and when everyone started chanting best leader i made sure to chant the loudest :((#he is :(( the best leader ever .... the bestest and i miss you so much already .... i hope you get plenty of rest tonight u deserve it .....#STEIFOSPOFKANFMS GLITTERY CHAN JUST POSTED ANFNKS A PHOTO OF HIM WITH GOOSEBUMPS ON HIS ARMS I WANT TO FK CRY THIS ISNT OK 🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭 JDMCKC ME#THE ENTIRE SHOW I WAS JUST !!!!! U MAKE ME FEEL SUCH A WAY !!!! U AND SKZ ARE SO SPECIAL U KNOW THAT 😭😭😭😭#we go ...... 3racha .... that is so important i just .... on the ground .... whenever he sang the chorus i just ... the dance ....#i felt my insides twist and turn ..... he stuck his tongue out so much too like ..... holy jesus i want to lie in my bed forever#and dream about chan ...... but hi touch ... i thought i was floating ... floating and cry and just ... im not special at all i relized when#i walked out of the venue ...... which is so dumb .... why am i thinking abt that ;; hes so special ... the most special person i know so it#doesnt matter abt me or not ;; anyway !!!!!!!!!! i feel like crying every single time i think abt him !! i miss u wonder boy !! my special#special angel .... also not @ how PRECIOUS AND SMALL HE WAS AT HI TOUCH LIKE ????? UR JOKING IM CRYING ON THE FLOOR THIS ISNT FAIR IM SO#SO SO SAD ..... AND UR JUST EXISTING AND LIVING AND BREATHING AND FUCK YOU PROBABLY SMELL SO NICE I MISS U ..... I MISS U MORE THAN U THINK#hes beautiful ..... erethreal ..... everything .... u make my heart hurt and yearn like lets get married srry oke bye im absolutelu DUMB I#I UGKY CRIED IN FRONT OF HIM THIS ISNT OK YOU GUYS ??? I COULD FEEL MY HEART RACING BUT THEN THERE HE WAS .... and everythinh was calm ....#thank u ...... thank u for existing is was i told him .... his hand 🥺 was so nice i just want to treasure that memory ..... it must be nice#if u ever get the chance to hold his hand ... it must feel pretty nice ... okie .... running out of space .. i love u more than every star
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cultofbeatles · 5 years
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beginners guide to the members of led zeppelin (kind of)
a disclaimer before anyone starts reading: we all know led zeppelin is shady as hell and we hardly ever get anything confirmed or denied around here. so some stuff is up for speculation. everything in this post are things i've read in books, heard in interviews, or got from some other source. when it comes to “facts about led zeppelin” sometimes you gotta take it with a grain of salt. but honestly it’s led zeppelin we’re talking about, anything is possible. also this is all in good fun and giggles. with that being said, let’s get started with introductions to the members themselves.
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jimmy page 
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james patrick page 
born on January 9, 1944 
he’s a capricorn sun, cancer moon, and scorpio rising so you just know he’s a crazy motherfucker 
was an amazing session guitarist and basically everyone wanted him 
went to art school bc he’s just talented at everything i guess 
if you didn't know already he played the guitar for Joe cocker’s ‘with a little help from my friends’
declined his first offer to join the yardbirds but later decided to join 
was the last member to leave the group
basically was the leader of led zeppelin 
was gifted a telecaster guitar by his friend jeff beck and he adored it 
and he painted a cool dragon design on it 
played on it for the first led zeppelin album 
when he was on tour one of his friends painted over his dragon design and ruined the guitar 
he produced all of led zeppelin’s albums and is responsible for the remastering of those same albums 
paid for led zeppelin’s first album to be produced with his own money
deadass would have whips and handcuffs around with him on tour for the groupies 
but was apparently an amazing lover and cared for the people he slept with
one time he got naked on a food cart thingy, put whip cream over his body, and had john bonham push him into a room with groupies in it 
has such a small and soft voice 
was fascinated in aleister crowley and his work
would collect crowely memorabilia 
even bought crowley’s boleskine house 
had a bookstore at one point so he could get books easier 
struggled with addiction to drugs for most of the seventies 
went on a liquid diet late seventies and refused to eat solid food 
he got really skinny bc of it :( 
miss pamela (one of his girlfriends/lovers) once said that jimmy cried on the phone to her over her playboy photoshoot lmaoo
once flied pamela’s pet raccoon in first class 
allegedly had a relationship with lori maddox who was about 15 years old 
laughed as two of his girlfriends were fighting each other 
was kind of constantly nervous about his and the band’s image
has amazing guitar solos and improvisation but damn sometimes they drag on foreverrrr
deadass scared the shit out of david bowie so much that he had his house exorcised and would avoid jimmy at parties 
we love demons 
zoso
he’ll never tell us what zoso means and I'm mad
had two people die in his home. one was a friend who died from a drug overdose, and the other was john bonham when he died from choking on his vomit.  
has been accused for the deaths of john bonham and robert plant’s son karac bc of that stupid “curse” rumor
deserves critiques for several things but doesn't deserve hate for that 
has been through a lot and come out pretty okay
produced his current girlfriend’s, scarlett sabet, spoken poetry vinyl 
check out scarlett’s work bc it’s amazing
would probably always be down for another led zeppelin reunion 
robert plant
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robert anthony plant 
born on august 20, 1948
this is the most attractive man ever. do not argue with me. 
nicknamed percy 
wasnt jimmy’s first pick for a singer 
jerry reid suggested robert to jimmy. and when jimmy asked what he looked like jerry said, “like a greek god.”
jimmy thought something was wrong with robert when he first found him bc he was such a good singer and hadn't been signed yet 
after a practice together jimmy knew he had his singer 
he would call robert “the young guy with the powerful voice.”
he thought about leaving the band early on bc he was so nervous about being in it 
convinced john bonham to join the group bc they were the bestest of buddies 
he’s not credited on the first album bc he was still under another contract 
started song writing for the second album by jimmy’s memory 
it didn't take long for him to gain confidence and start owning the stage 
once when he was performing a dove flew in his hands 
there’s an audio of him singing john bonham happy birthday and it makes me so happy 
he would call himself a greek god 
would party with john bonham a lot 
kind of the hippy of the group 
moans moans moans and even louder moans into the microphone 
would wear women’s shirts and looked amazing in them 
nurses do it better 
not to mention his super tight jeans 
we all know his dick is huge and he’s just showing it off 
has the prettiest, fluffiest blonde hair 
and the sweetest smile 
can you tell that i find him attractive yet?
has a fear of earthquakes 
also supposedly had some sort of a relationship to an underage groupie named sable starr (14)
also has a fear of led zeppelin nowadays 
either fear or amnesia 
it’s likely that he’s the reason we’ll never get another led zeppelin reunion 
though a close friend thinks that if the show went to charity robert would probably do it 
robert loved john bonham too much to play in led zeppelin without him
and i respect that a lot 
no matter how much he’s offered for a show he turns it down every time
in 1975 he got in a severe car crash and ended up being in a wheelchair 
still went on to record zeppelin’s album 
once while recording on crutches and started to fall and jimmy apparently zoomed in to save him. robert never saw him move that fast before
his five year old son (karac) died from a sudden stomach illness while he was in america on tour
absolutely crushed him 
was deeply upset that neither jimmy page or john paul jones reached out to him during that time of his life 
john bonham was there for him though 
robert apparently never forgave them for that 
a car he was working on fell on top of him and crushed some of his ribs as well 
late seventies was not a good time for robert plant 
but he got through it all like a champ
hates stairway to heaven with a passion lmao  
one time he paid a radio station a shit ton of money just to make sure they'd never play stairway to heaven again 
almost didn't sing stairway for the 2007 reunion but ended up agreeing to it after all 
he said he breaks out in hives when he has to play that song 
he and jimmy made their own symbols. robert’s is the feather inside the circle 
in 2007 he won beard of the year 
john bonham
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john bonham 
born on may 31, 1948
nickname is bonzo
oh boy, there’s a lot of stories about bonzo 
he was known as the nicest and sweetest guy ever 
unless he was drunk 
he drank a lot :/
denied jimmy’s offer to join the group and continued to deny it until robert convinced him 
once flew the starship (led zeppelin’s plane) even though he didn't have a license to 
hated touring so much 
he always missed his family 
so he drank 
he was so damn crazy when drunk that the other members would book rooms floors above where his was so he wouldn't disturb them
tore about his hotel rooms like no other 
he has a son named jason bonham who he loved a lot 
bought him a nice drum kit when he was younger 
jason is just about led zeppelin’s biggest fan next to jimmy page 
one time bonzo broke a girl’s vibrator when drunk
also punched a girl in the face when drunk once bc she waved at him 
partly responsible for the famous mud shark story where a girl was apparently fucked with a dead shark by him and zeppelin’s tour manager 
liked cars a lot 
really really loved his family. cannot stress it enough
was irked that john paul jones got out of playing shows during the christmas holiday and he didn't 
punched robert in the face once too 
him and john paul jones equals the best rhythm section ever 
jimmy would call it magic how well him and bonzo got along 
bonzo could handle anything jimmy threw at him 
he wasn't really a part of it, but he had to go to jail bc peter grant and two other dudes almost killing a man (long story omfg, but apparently the doctors had to put the dude’s eyeball back into his socket)
was there for robert when karac died 
they were really good friends 
there’s an interview with them together where bonzo is laughing at robert about his little farm 
gave good hugs apparently 
played drums like no other could and knew he was good 
but still sometimes got insecure and got upset when someone he looked up to said his drumming wasn't all that special 
his symbol is the three rings and he picked it out of a book like john paul jones did his 
he died in jimmy page’s house (not the crowley house btw)
he had to drink the equivalent of 40 shots of vodka and choked on his vomit in his sleep 
led zeppelin died on the same day 
nobody can replace john bonham 
his son filled in his role for the 2007 reunion show and did an amazing job of it. the whole show is on youtube, go check it out
john paul jones
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 john richard baldwin 
born on january 3, 1946
nickname is jonesy 
was also a session guitarist like jimmy 
they had worked together before 
when he found out jimmy was forming a group he called jimmy and was basically given the spot immediately 
not only was the bassist but also the keyboardist 
and could play the recorder 
insanely talented. put some respect on his name 
he talks in italics i swear to god 
i don't have mainly crazy stories about jonesy bc he wasn't about that life 
deadass he would go on stage, perform, walk off stage and go to a whole separate hotel from the other
he would only tell one person where he was at and told them not to call unless for super urgent emergencies 
pissed peter grant off so much lmao 
wasn't really super close to anyone in the band tbh 
but bonzo was probably his greatest friend in the band 
jimmy and robert kind of leave him out in my opinion 
or they use to 
when he found out that jimmy and robert were making their own symbols instead of picking out of a book like he was he said “of course!”  and laughed 
was pretty much left out of the live aid show 
he had to squeeze himself on the stage and wasn't even able to play bass. he had to play the keyboard 
“and thank you to my friends for finally remembering my phone number” -savage as hell john paul jones 
he was one of the two people who found john bonham dead 
it’s sad to think about
is actually quite funny
he has this kind of dry humor?? idk but it’s amazing 10/10 content 
when john paul jones walks into the room interviewers break into a sweat
managed to look like a completely different person every year throughout the seventies or is it just my eyes?
has an Instagram account now go follow it for cute throwback photos lol
that’s all i really have for generic useless information about led zeppelin members for beginners. i hope it was somewhat entertaining. i'll make some more beginners stuff for led zeppelin. i will make y'all stan them lmao. i'm tagging @babygotblueeyes​ bc i know for a fact you want to get into them <3
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s-j-ace · 5 years
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New Plan!
Characters: Shuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi
Words: 9,119
Summary:
Kokichi Ouma, leader of the mysterious group of thieves that go only by DICE, is going through the motions of orchestrating their biggest heist ever when an unexpected bump in the road changes everything. That bump in the road is a detective and his name is Shuichi Saihara.
Essentially the events of That’s the Thing About Airplanes from Kokichi’s POV
Read on AO3
Kokichi Ouma was ready to be bored out of his mind for the next eight hours as he boarded the flight behind his motley crew.  He was trying to keep himself busy by being generally exasperated with them. They were supposed to be posing as different family units or strangers that didn’t know one another, but King was supposed to be Rook’s uncle and they were touching each other’s butts while handing the lady their boarding passes. Bishop and Hearts were practically leaning on each other like they were tired or whatever, but they were supposed to be total strangers. Maybe they could be rewritten as half siblings or a whirlwind romance or something? Ugh whatever.
Kokichi would normally kick their asses about this, but he’d already anticipated their horrid 2 AM acting skills. The lady taking boarding passes was a plant. Jack had wriggled herself in as a flight attendant three days ago. She was currently taking boarding passes because of an understaffing issue. An issue that may or may not have been of natural causes... 
Anyway, she’d get on the flight and smuggle the tea on board. The heist plan didn’t really involve the plane at all, so this was kind of unnecessary, but god would he want that half-way to Paris hot tea party. Besides, he wasn’t really one to leave much to chance when it came to scheming. Although that characteristic was more out of habit than any sort of innate perfectionistic tendencies. He was a king of thinking on the fly, but nowadays he rarely ran amok in that court because he just so happened to also be just as much of a genius at premeditated mischief.
It was a good thing Jack had volunteered herself for the plant job. He’d call her the most competent of DICE at 2 AM if she hadn’t drawn a dick on his boarding pass while checking it.
“Wow, it’s almost like you’ve actually seen one, you virgin loser.” He had told her as he tucked the pass into his hoodie pocket. 
She smiled at him like he had complimented her handwriting or something inane like that. “Thanks! I’ve been working on my portraits. My boss is a real inspiration in my art you know…”
“I’d love to meet him someday,” Kokichi replied congenially, “He sounds handsome and brilliant and like he should always be listened to.”
She gave a thoughtful humm, “Actually he’s kind of a prick.” She blew a raspberry at him.
He frowned. “Well that’s rude,” he commented with an offended tone, “And out of character.” He shifted to an angrier persona. "Do you want to ruin everything?" Maybe it wasn’t entirely persona, he was a little tired too after all.
“Relax boss,” Jack said, looking at the screen in front of her with all the boarding information, “It says here you’re the last passenger.”
To be honest Kokichi’s concern-o-meter for this heist was in the negatives. He was pretty much bored by how well thought out this plan was, but he felt like he had to make a point and he was rarely ever honest besides.
Kokichi huffed moodily. “Yeah sure, but what if that detective from the smithsonian, like, stole the security camera footage from this airport or something totally plausible like that.”
He was kind of planning this conversation out a couple steps ahead. He did that sometimes, when he was bored. She’d refute him by calling the detective a goody-two-shoes or something and he’d say something about caution and she’d dismiss him and then something would pop up later where he could say ‘I told you so’ and re-establish his authority. The same happened when Ace wanted to prove how buff he was by lifting the mammoth bones from the Smithsonian. They'd had to stash it insecurely and the police got to it before they could come back for it later. That was a big ‘I told you so’ moment and as a result no one questioned him on his plans for the Louvre this time around.
Weirdly enough, his conversation forecast did not come to pass this time around.
Jack frowned, looking at the screen. “Hey, what was that guy’s name again? The guy from the Smithsonian.”
Kokichi frowned. “What, the mammoth?”
“No, like, the detective.”
Kokichi squinted at her. He was an evil mastermind, he could recall the exact angle of every laser scanner in the Louvre, of course he could remember the name of some guy. Shuichi Saihara. The novice detective whose dumb friend had tripped that allarm the night of the Smithsonian heist. They’d only had three minutes to get out with the picture frames and hide the mammoth because of him. The detective had showed up at a couple heists and had gotten in the paper, but honestly the mammoth thing was a bit of a fluke. They really hadn’t had a lot of time to stash it. Overall not a big deal.
Which was why it was weird that happy-go-lucky Jack of all people was bringing him up.
“What about him?”
“He’s, like, on the flight I think.” 
She showed him the screen and sure enough, Shuichi Saihara was sitting in economy class by the emergency exits. Well, it didn’t really say that on the screen, but given his seat number Kokichi could triangulate it from the diagram of the plane he had memorized. Not that he had really needed to that, but… wait… what if he did need to...
A light bulb went on in Kokichi’s head. In cartoons lightbulbs were just a little blink that meant a switch had flipped for a single eureka moment, but for Kokichi it was more like the real life current of electricity as all of the steps of a brand new heist plan tripped over each other to course through his mind. He forgot to be bored for a second as his brain was lit up with a new scheme and all the possible scenarios that could accompany it.
He had been missing this.
Something... unexpected.
Something... exciting.
Something... unnecessarily convoluted!
Jack took one look at his carefully not grinning face and groaned with exasperation. “Awww boss you ain’t changing the plan again are ya? You already wrote us like a 100 page novel about the first one…”
“Eh, fuck that plan.” Kokichi said doing some mental calculations, “Get me ten parachutes and see if Clubs has extra sleeping drugs I want you to put them in the passengers’ drinks. The strong stuff. Direct Queen towards the rooftop diagrams I shoved in his carry on. Tell me when it gets to be around 1:34 AM Paris time.”
She looked at him with annoyance at the sudden deluge of tasks. “Oh yeah, sure thing. And what are you going to do?”
He gave her his biggest, bestest, shit-eating-est grin. “Be myself, of course.”
Then he turned and boarded the plane, imagining and relishing in the weirded out look she was definitely giving him.
When he got to the entryway of the plane from the boarding hallway, he came upon Rook gossiping with one of the flight attendants. Kokichi heard something about a wedding and a honeymoon before Rook spotted him and excused themselves to find their seat.
“Good evening, sir.” The flight attendant said, still clearly coming off of the social high of talking about his personal happiness. Kokichi decided to slam him down from it, hard.
“It will now that I’m finally on the same damn plane as my husband.” He gave his best impression of a disgruntled everyman, which meant it was a great impression because his best was always great.
“R-right.” Ah yes, the security of making someone else feel socially awkward. Kokichi would make a great playground bully, that’s for sure. At least he was self aware. And putting his talents to good use! Bullying pseudo-law-enforcement was 100% valid according to all levels of morality.
As he walked down the aisle he noticed the rest of DICE ahead of him chattering like sparrows as they moved to the back of the plane. Originally they had planned to keep a low profile and have a pre-heist tea party before touching down in Paris, but now…
Kokichi spotted him, sure enough right by the emergency exits. He looked dead tired and about to doze off, so Kokichi took a second to make some quick observations he hadn’t gotten the chance to get on the night of the Smithsonian heist. The guy had this very detective-esque trench coat with lots of pockets, which was a shame because it meant that if Kokichi decided to pickpocket him he’d have trouble figuring out where his wallet was. Something that didn’t really fit Kokichi’s imaginings of a stereotypical detective, however was that the guy was around his own age in the mid twenties and didn’t seem like the grizzled gumshoe type at all. In fact he was kind of anti-grizzled. He had a boring pretty boy face like a model or something and instead of the full beard and square jaw Kokichi had half imagined any time the word “detective” came up in his mind’s eye he had eyeliner accentuating the only hair on his face and a very breakable looking face. Ok that was a very play ground bully thing to think. Except young people weren’t really as fun to bully as old people because they actually might be poor or emotionally insecure or something, which always made Kokichi feel a semblance of an emotion akin to guilt. But this guy was flying to Paris in the summer season and had been in America a couple weeks before, so fuck him basically. Didn’t he have a job or something?
Oh shit the guy was looking at him, how long had he been doing that?
Don't panic, analyze then act.
He seemed freaked. Probably because Kokichi had been staring at him for a couple seconds now. 
He put on a menacingly friendly grin and slipped into the seat next to the detective. Not the one in front of him, or one of the ones in his completely empty row, or even the aisle seat,  literally the one right next to him. He put his elbow on the armrest the detective had so kindly pulled down for him.
The guy still looked super freaked out, so Kokichi tried to shift his grin to the more congenial side of menacing.
“Hey, aren't you Shuichi Saihara?” He asked, extending his hand. He thought about coming up with a pseudonym but was too busy being delighted by the absolute terror on the detective’s face. “I'm your biiiggest fan.”
The guy shook his hand like it was the lever for his very own personal electric chair. Dramatic much?
It seemed to freak him out so Kokichi decided to run with the ‘biggest fan’ thread, chattering on, “I read aaall about that thing with the hairy elephant and the stupid ugly criminal you've been tracking.”
He would keep talking about the ironic impudence of this imaginary criminal but it really seemed like Saihara was having a dissociative episode while he was talking.
He frowned. That was kind of boring. “Hey are you like deaf or something?” That would be kind of extra boring because then Kokichi would be trying to bully a deaf dude and that would be lame. “Hey. Heyyyy. Earth to Shuichi Saihara.” Maybe he could thread some truth in here. “Geez I didn't expect you to be this boring in person…”
That seemed to get him.
Saihara shook his head like he was getting the dust out and stuttered out an "I-I-I'm sorry, what?"
Well maybe he had the soul of an old man, if not the looks of one, Kokichi thought to himself as he blithered on. “Have you been ignoring me? Not a very nice way to treat your biggest fans." He crossed his arms. "I, like, totally hate when heroes don't live up to your expectations."
Guy still looked half asleep… Maybe a change of scenery was in order… 
Kokichi noticed the chatty flight attendant from earlier coming down the aisle. It was time to act on his earlier framework...
He said something like “You can make it up to me,” but honestly even he wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying anymore. That was the only warning he gave before reaching over the detective to break his chair. If he had stopped to think about it, he might have thought it was awkward, but it wasn’t like he had to care about what this guy thought. He was going to leave him on the plane and probably never see him again.
Kokichi held himself back from giggling when the detective toppled over backwards.
“Oh no!” He feigned surprise, “How could this happen?”
"What happens to be the problem here gentlemen?" The flight attendant asked right on cue.
Saihara was looking pretty dubious but also not that talkative so Kokichi thought about the right words to spin this.
Distract. You’re the threat here, Kokichi.
"What's the problem? You're asking me what the problem is?" He shifted his tone to that of a white soccer mom used to getting what she wants. "The problem, good sir, is that this Rusty bucket of bolts you call an airplane just tried to give my husband a concussion! I could sue for this, you know."
The flight attendant broke easy.
"I'm so, so sorry sir." He quibbled. "Here, we'll make it up to you. It's a long flight and we don't have many guests so I can upgrade you both to first class with no additional charge."
Kokichi gave a rather hearty harrumph. Not bad as far as harrumphs go.
"You better. Or my lawyer will be hearing about this."
Hah. If Kokichi tried to talk to a lawyer he’d probably get arrested. Small claims lawyers were like cops but with even less spine and more capitalistic tendencies in his book.
The flight attendant didn’t seem to care about the rot of society, though, and tarried forth to first class. Saihara hadn’t quite caught on yet, so Kokichi grabbed his arm. For some reason he didn’t expect the detective to be so draggable. Detectives just didn’t seem that way. Like they could be dragged, but Saihara seemed too tired and confused to not be dragged. Thrilling! Boring. Okay okay don’t get ahead of the horses here. Horses? Uh.
First class was more Kokichi’s style. He let Saihara shuffle into the window seat so he’d be able to keep a look out for Jack’s signals in the aisle. 
"Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help you." The flight attendant said as Kokichi sat down.
Ugh it’s like he actually cared about his job or something. Being in customer service must be insufferable. 
Kokichi didn’t actually want to harrass this asshole when there was a perfectly good fake cop right next to him, so he replied with an apologetic smile, “Of course. Ah, I'm so rry for causing so much trouble, it's just the honeymoon you see and everything just has to be perfect, you know?”
"No, it's quite alright, I understand completely." The flight attendant seemed to relax a little, “I went through the same trouble with my husband. Really let me know if I can help you at all.”
Droll. “Thanks sooo much!" he intoned gratefully. He turned to Saihara who still looked like he was in shock. "Wasn't he just the nicest Shuichi?"
Saihara blinked at him. "... If you had enough money to hire a lawyer that could sue an airline so frivolously then you would've already been in first class."
Hey! That sounded like something a detective would say!
"I'm just stingy." Hah. Beat that logic. Nice one Kokichi.
Saihara squinted like he was about to bless Ouma with another brilliant deduction. 
"... Did you sit next to me so you could convince that gay flight attendant to put you in first class?"
Wow!!! He was thinking!!! He was totally wrong but at least he was trying.
"I can't believe you figured it out!" Kokichi did his best impression of a widow revealing a dark secret on prime time television. "It's true…Detective Saihara I was lying about being married to you the whole time. I thought you knew..."
"Wha- of course I knew that!" Saihara sputtered.
"Oh! How can you ever forgive me?" The flight attendant was definitely out of range by now so this seemed like a good time for some melodramatic tears. "Waah!"
"H-hey! Stop that." Wow what a bad detective. Is that how you comfort people? Sad.
Kokichi was about to weep even more for the loss of chivalry when the asshole shoved something at him. Was that… a handkerchief? This guy just had a handkerchief? Is that not something that only people in movies do? 
Weird.
Kokichi snatched it from him, exclaiming, “"Oh wow! What a gentlemanly thing to do!"
He proceeded to make his most grotesque snot noises imaginable.
“A-are you alright?” The detective stuttered out.
Kokichi pondered a couple iterations of “no, and it’s your fault” before deciding that was boring and saying “Perfectly fine.” He flicked out the handkerchief and held it a bit to make sure Shuichi noticed it was clean before tucking it in his pockets. “Just a liar is all.”
"A-a liar?"
Kokichi frowned at him. "No, where did you hear that?" He made an expression of disgust. “Ick, I hate liars after all.” He put on his manic pixie dream girl sees a light bulb for a first time look. “That's why I'm such a big fan of yours, Shuichi.”
"I-is that so?" Ah, the panic of a person unprepared for social interaction at two am was a sight for sore eyes. “Um.” Or maybe it said nothing of Ouma’s own skill that this guy was an awkward glob. "Y-you seem to know my name, but, uh, what's yours?"
A question! An inquiry! One for which Kokichi had the perfect answer....
"Kaito Momota."
“What.” 
Wow! What a flat tone Saihara had! Almost like he didn’t believe him or something absurd like that.
Kokichi waved his hands dismissively. "I know, I know, isn't that the name of your friend who was in the paper? That's why I read it, by the way," he said matter of factly. "Because we have the same name."
Ugh, he was adding too much supporting detail. That’s something bad liars do and he wasn’t a bad liar. He was the best liar. Accept no substitutions. Unless they were really good at lying about being a substitution… then they would probably be the best liar… 
Ok whatever ranking of liar he was it was probably good enough to fool-
"... I-is that another lie?"
Ah fuck.
"Neeheehee… ya caught me." Best to bail early on this kind of thing. "If you guess my real name by the end of the flight I'll give you a prize!"
"Like Rumplestiltskin?"
Really? Was his own charade getting that cartoonish already?
“Aww man. You guessed it the first try. That's no fun.” Logically this was boring but he was doing okay as far as airplanes went. "I guess now you'll just have to guess my second, less cool, real name instead."
As great as he was at being evasive in all situations why was the subject not changed by now.
"... Honestly I'd much rather be sleeping through this flight." The detective rubbed his face, and Kokichi noticed the darker shades of his eyelids weren’t all eyeliner. He must have business. Something that was keeping him up at night.
Kokichi determined some short term goals for this conversation. Find out why the detective was going to Paris was primary among them. That information would narrow down his field of options for how to spend the rest of the flight.
Kokichi scoffed. “Why would anyone get on a flight to Paris at 2 AM if they weren't prepared to be up all night?" He shifted back into the fanboy thread, "Oh! Oh! Oh! I bet you've got another case you're hot on the trail of, huh Mr. Detective?”
Saihara seemed to hesitate. “Uh, sort of.”
Kokichi thought he was going to say something more but after a few seconds of silence, it was clear he needed further prompting.
"What kind of answer is that?" His words seemed to surprise the Detective, which was a bit silly considering that they had been having a conversation, where words being exchanged should be the norm. "How can you only sort of be solving a mystery?" Kokichi lied through his teeth. "You know, I just so happen to also be a world class detective."
“Really? Saihara’s skeptical and unassertive response was less of a question in this conversation and more of a way to measure how gullible he was.
"Yes, really!" Kokichi replied, storming ahead, "And as a real life detective I just so happen to know that when you're working a case you work it with 100% of yourself!"
Saihara made this weird, soft sound. It took Kokichi a moment's consideration to realize it was supposed to be a laugh because it sounded not at all like the howling cackles growing up with DICE had familiarized him with.
"I guess you're kind of right about that…” He fidgeted with the edges of his coat. “There's, uh, this case that I've been looking into for a long time now and I guess I have really been putting 100% of myself into it. My friends think I'm going a little crazy…"
Ooh, that was something. 
“Your friends? Like that purple haired guy who was in the paper? The one with the dumb name?”
Considering the nitwit Saihara had been romping around the Smithsonian with, the detective must really be off the deep end on this case to be considered looney by his friends. 
Kokichi was predicting a silly story that he could use to justify to DICE his choice to sit next to the detective the whole flight beyond satiating this little whim of his for a taste of the unexpected. He imagined them laughing about the detective from the smithsonian who thought the Eiffel tower was a secret spaceship or something as Kokichi explained how he just had to stick around to make fun of him.
Oh shit the detective was saying something.
"-him and one other friend think I'm making this thing about the Louvre up… and maybe I am a little crazy."
… The Louvre, huh?
Kokichi scrutinized the detective. He couldn’t mean… “The Louvre? Like, someone's gonna steal the Mona Lisa?"
"Uh, no." The detective looked away as if mildly embarrassed. "I think, uh, someone's going to take the plumbing from the renovated bathrooms…"
Kokichi’s brain registered two things about Shuichi Saihara at the same time. One: he was a real detective. Not a hopeless buffoon of a gumshoe like the ones you saw in video games about dystopian court systems and gay lawyers. He had made a real life deduction and had done so accurately. He was on a case. The second thing he realised was that Shuichi Saihara was a direct threat to his entire operation.
People usually categorize threats as something to induce fear. Some would describe the fear as “bone chilling.” 
When Kokichi registered a threat his toes got cold. Not because he was scared or something dumb like that, but because his blood suddenly had a better place to be. 
Kokichi’s brain raced with possibilities, brand new scenarios and personas that he could put on. Like he had been sitting at a boring ass company play only to realize that the curtains were rising to reveal a dramatic opera where he was the star. Ok, Kokichi wasn’t exactly a poet laureate when it came to analogies, but he was excited okay?
Kokichi shuffled the deck of options and picked a card.
"Wow. You must be really smart to have figured that out." Ok, good thought to start with praise. He has a low self esteem. "You know…" Kokichi leaned in. Shuichi leaned away. Good. Make him uncomfortable by getting in his bubble.
Now, just for fun, lie wildly. 
 "I just so happen to be the leader of a secret organization with about 10,000 members. We rule the world from the shadows. I think we could use a detective like you."
Shuichi obviously didn’t believe him, which was, to his credit, absolutely fair. “That- that has to be a lie. There is no possible way for such an organization to exist.” 
Sad detective, falling for the classic hiding in plain sight maneuver. Disguise the truth of DICE in an unbelievable lie and he doesn’t believe any of it.
"And here I was thinking you were particularly clever." And, twist. "Seeing as you've refused to join my organization… it seems I'll have to kill you."
Oh man that really seemed to frazzle the good detective. What, had he never gotten a death threat before? Typical. It would be funny to see his expression if Kokichi were to just stab him right now. Except ew because blood and also ending human life. Yikes. Weird train of thought.
"But I'll let you leave this flight with your life if you can beat me in a game."
That seemed to calm the detective down a bit, like he realized Kokichi was just joking. It’d be funny when Kokichi pulled out the knife later. Ah, ah, ah, no spoilers.
"How about Russian Roulette with a full barrel?"
Shuichi sputtered, "This is a plane, you don't have a gun!"
Kokichi considered the ‘my ruse has been discovered….’ line again before he realized he’d used it like twice now and tossed it aside for: "Oh that's right, left it on my tchotchke shelf, silly me. Well I guess if you just want to beg like a dog and then split your guts open that would be acceptable."
Wow ok a little harsh there. Kokichi’s single brain cell devoted to tact whispered. What? No. No filter. Fuck you brain trying to conform to social conventions, shut the fuck up and stay out of my personality.
"Um, no that would kill me."
"Damn, nothing gets past you… Hmm… Ok, how about…" Kokichi reached into the pocket he usually left his Yu-Gi-Oh deck in. "A shadow game!"
He held up the cards only to realize they were actually just a normal playing deck. Oh yeah, he left his deck at home because he thought Rook might steal his blue eyes while he slept on the plane. Shit. Oh well, playing cards could be fun too.
"It's time to du-du-du-du-du-du-du-duel!"
Shuichi blinked. "A...duel? Shadow Game...?"
"Hmhmhm... Yes, the loser's soul will get sent to the Shadow Realm…" he shuffled them so that Shuichi and him would draw the same cards, "We each pull one card from this deck, and whoever has the largest number wins!"
Shuichi looked rather befuddled but Kokichi kept going full steam ahead.
This wasn’t really a game of chance anyhow. That wasn’t the point. The game had two motives, the first being to gauge Shuichi’s reactions to different scenarios, the second being to build up Kokichi himself as someone intimidating and mysterious. The card game wasn’t extremely telling, but the ensuing bout of rock paper scissors was. 
Kokichi was keeping pretty busy predicting what Shuichi was going to pick next in order to make it a tie, but Shuichi didn’t protest at all to the mindless repetitive game it must have been for him. He was either easily impressed by rock paper scissors or just too awkward to tell Kokichi to fuck off.
Apparently the guy sitting in the row in front of them had no qualms about such things. He hit the back of his seat and grumbled “Oh my God shut up already.”
A bunch of weirdly indignant thoughts ran through Kokichi’s head. 
Wow! Rude asshole! Mind your own fucking business! Get some damn headphones!
Shuichi looked like being told he was annoyed by a random asshole was his equivalent of seeing a ghost as he muttered out some inane apology. 
Not that he cared about how this guy felt, but him suddenly clamming up just wasn’t very fun at all. 
Just when he was making headway too…
… Maybe it was time to get rid of the distractions.
"Gosh Shuichi you really were being just too loud. You're like the loudest person I've ever met."
Shuichi looked at him like he was crazy which Kokichi appreciated for a millisecond before raising his voice to say, “Ugh that game was getting boring though, and no one won so it's probably time for something else.” He leaned over the aisle, noticing that Jack was standing in the aisle at the back of the plane chit chatting with Spades as Queen stole pretzel packets from the snack cart.
"Hey,” he called, “When's drink service?"
The three DICE members under his scrutiny froze like they had been caught doing something they shouldn’t be. They were probably gossiping about him again. Great.
Jack got her bearings fairly quickly, pushing the drink cart up the aisle. "Coming right up~" She trilled cheerfully.
As she passed by to start service at the front of the plane, Kokichi noticed a little green vial tucked into Jack’s sleeve. Most likely the sleep drug Kokichi had requested before he got on the plane. Hmm. He wanted to get rid of the distractions, but he wasn’t exactly sure distractions included Shuichi anymore. The flight was still pretty long and Kokichi knew he’d be bored out of his mind forever if he didn’t get through this whole game gambit with the detective.
Another spur of the moment change of plans was in order and it hit Kokichi with yet another wave of excitement.
"Hey, Shuichi!” He exclaimed, “We should have a tea party!"
Shuichi gave him another look. “A tea party? I don't think they ha-”
Kokichi didn’t have the patience not to speedrun Shuichi’s disbelief.
“Well oooobviously you wouldn't know anything about it.” He interrupted. “I'm the leader of a super secret organization after all, so of course I know about the super secret drink menu available on all air planes.
Shuichi frowned. "But they couldn't bring anything to-” 
He stopped listening. Something something blah blah blah doubt doubt doubt. 
Kokichi shook his head dismissively, getting ready to set up an I told you so moment. 
“Just watch.”
When Jack rolled up with the drink cart she made a hand signal that told Kokichi things were going well on DICE’s end of things. "And what would you fine sirs like to drink?" She asked in a register slightly higher than usual. Jack was being smarter than Kokichi about this and had basically contoured all of her distinctive facial traits away, so Kokichi wouldn’t have to worry about Shuichi tracking her down from this interaction.
"A cup of hot green tea."
Pretty much the only reason he was going along with this impulsive plan of his was that the only person who would get any heat for it if things was south was him. He wouldn’t put DICE’s livelihoods in danger for a whim such as this.
"Sure thing!"
Was this even a whim anymore?
"And what about you?"
Of course it was.
"Shuichi here will have the same thing."
If it wasn’t then it would have to be something else.
And if it were something else, then Kokichi wouldn’t know what it was.
He couldn’t afford to be that stupid.
"Of course.” Jack smiled almost a little too fakely. “Anything added in like sugar or cream?"
She was obviously double checking that Kokichi didn’t want this bastard drugged.
"No, we're both taking it plain today."
"Oh, really? Alright then." 
She poured the tea.
“"I hear you two are on a honeymoon? That's so lovely. Can I see the rings?”
Kokichi usually appreciated that Jack was quick to catch on to things, but she was bordering on insubordination at this point. 
"You know what I hear?” Time to play real housewives of DICE with this gossip again. “That lonely flight attendants should realize they're sad and nosey losers who should keep their noses out of happy people's business."
Aw shit she was going to think he was flustered and covering up something wasn’t she.
"Teehee~ Yes sir! Enjoy the flight." Yeah she totally was on to him
Wait no because to be on to him she would have to be right and she wasn’t so there.
Oh shit wait Shuichi was still here. Looking extremely awkward and unsure if he was also supposed to start bitching at flight attendants like it was common etiquette or something.
"That was all code you know.” He brushed it off. “Super secret organization stuff. You probably wouldn't understand."
"Uh, yeah." He said, "I probably wouldn't." 
Wow this guy was funny. Kokichi was moderately glad he wasn’t in a drug induced coma right now. Moderately glad was pretty good for an airplane vis a vis emotional stability.
"Neeheehee…” He let himself laugh a little. “Drink the tea Shuichi, I've got to pull you into a false sense of security before your final trial."
Shuichi frowned. "I feel like by pointing out that you're trying to lull me into a false sense of security you have essentially not done so."
"See, but because you feel that way it means I have succeeded in lulling you."
Shuichi frowned again, but seemed to see no logic in arguing. He decided to take a sip of his tea instead. Kokichi noticed the asshole in the chair in front of him was asleep. So was the guy in the seat across from his, and the woman in front of that guy was dozing too. Everyone else had a drink and would be soon to follow.
Everyone except for…
“So how do you like the tea, Shuichi?” Ouma asked.
Shuichi was drinking that hot leaf juice like a pro who didn’t even feel the burn. He made a contemplative expression.
“It’s pretty good as far as tea goes.” He shrugged. “I’m more of a coffee guy.”
Kokichi felt a little offended on the behalf of DICE’s custom blend as well as all of the classy tea drinkers in the world. He shook his head
"Fff, what are you, a cop or something? Next you’ll be telling me you like donuts more than cupcakes." 
Shuichi made a weird face before looking away. 
"Holy shit," Kokichi said. This was the perfect time to both change the subject and do a little investigating of his own. " Are you a cop? Like a really funny undercover cop who decided to pretend to be someone with the exact same job?"
"Uh, no, that's not it." 
Was it something about the donuts then or- wait no that was stupid it was obviously the cop thing. 
Shuichi was looking out the window now. "I, uh, did used to be a force detective."
"Huh," Kokichi remarked, trying to peek around at Shuichi's face, "Were you fired or something? You must've been pretty bad to get fired from some backwater police station."
"No that's not it." He seemed to be leaning into some sort of memory, "I quit actually…"
Ugh, who gave this fucking loser the right to be interesting. It was totally unfair.
Kokichi kept digging, "Man why wouldn't you want to be a cop. Clearly the most respectable public service someone can provide for their country…" but that was totally a lie. Cops suck.
Shuichi frowned. "I, uh, kind of disagree with that." He was pulling at his fingers like he was trying to stretch them like taffy. "I met a lot of people on the force who really did care about making the community better, but I feel like the existence of law enforcement is really a symptom of larger societal problems, and that the structure of power doesn't work to reduce crime or violence but instead works increase it by giving a group of privileged individuals the power to instill generational trauma in communities."
Uh… huh. Kokichi took a moment to process that because he had never thought about “cops = bad” beyond their innate fuddy duddy inclinations to stop him specifically from doing whatever the hell he wanted. What the fuck? Did this guy actually have, like, opinions??? And legitimate reasons for them??? Who gave him the right??? How could Kokichi hear more of them???
Pff wait he was probably some rich kid who took maybe one social justice class in college and became a stooge of the state anyway. Maybe he was, like, a real policeman's embittered assistant or something.
"That's lame." He lied, "cops are the cops, do you want folks to be murdering people left and right all the time??? I bet you've never even met a criminal." Hehe that one was a bit ironic, he'd laugh about it later.
Shuichi furrowed his brow at him, "Well, I have… I was a homicide detective, actually. I've arrested murderers in person many times..."
What???? Is this what talking to all strangers for extended periods of time was like? You found out they actually had lives? And cool careers? That they made their livings in murder?
Nah, Shuichi was probably an exception. You don't meet an anti cop homicide detective everyday after all…
Kokichi decided he was being too endeared so he planned out a new branch of conversation that would hopefully make Shuichi squeamish, or at least unnerved.
He put on his best enthusiasm face. "Tell me about a murder! Tell me, tell me, tell me!"
Shuichi blinked at him, surprised at his sudden shift in mood. "Uh, alright then…" he said.
Shuichi started to go into detail about a case he had solved his first year on the force. Some guy turned up dead in a public pool and everyone else had basically given up on the case. Shuichi was describing how he figured it out through deductions and use of specific forensic techniques, and to be honest he wasn't exactly a master of suspense. Kokichi was able to deduce the murderer from the details Shuichi chose to include. No, none of that was why he was completely mesmerized with Shuichi while he talked.
Hearing about the things that Shuichi did to get to the evidence in the first place was… impressive???
No that couldn’t be right. 
Maybe it was just weird to see a mousey guy like him get as jazzed up as Kokichi about solving murders, and not even in a weird or vaguely creepy way. He just seemed like… Kokichi hadn't thought about it in a long time but when he was a kid he read a shit ton of mystery manga, where the heroes were detectives. He had since then moved on to more sophisticated literature such as airplane diagrams and police radio transcripts, but Shuichi reminded him of those detectives instead of the old fuddy duddies with which he had begun to associate the profession. He was just kind of… cool. Yeah that was the word for it. Cool. Like he was always going to get around to the right answer no matter what. Yeah, he had that abstract "coolness" factor that had drawn Kokichi to protagonists as a kid.
Kokichi wanted to steal it from him. Break his composure, become the center of the stage in this narrative. Yet, at the same time he suddenly dreaded his own inevitable heel turn. This was something rare, he decided, getting to talk one on one with Shuichi like this. It would probably never happen again.
So Kokichi listened. He teased, interjected, and prompted superfluous explanations, but he listened. 
And Shuichi talked. He talked about murder most foul, crooked cops, elusive evidence, and the friends he made along the way. Shit straight out of a manga that Kokichi was spending his Saturday morning hyper-fixating on.
The conversation only ended when Shuichi had to get up to use the toilet. A stark reminder that manga wasn’t real and in meatspace human beings had to shit every now and then. Kokichi watched him go and felt a little sad. Like he knew whatever it was worth, the moment had passed. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and now all he had was to dissect it over and over again in his head until it became mangled beyond recognition...
Yeah yeah ok, world's tiniest violin, scattered ashes, ceremonial boat burning, yadda yadda.
Kokichi had a heist to pull off, no time for any of this silly stuff. He dismissed whatever weird feelings were bubbling in his chest and decided to go with the more practical inspiration that struck him. He took a couple seconds to plan out his grand exit. He decided to leave Shuichi a note and justified to himself that heists had been getting boring lately and as a proper game master he should give Shuichi a hint. Hmm were his initials too much? It might seem like…
Well he didn't really know what it seemed like, which was weird because he was a genius. Was he actually trying to figure out how Shuichi would react to this? He hadn't really thought about what Shuichi's opinion of him had been because he had only started thinking of Shuichi as an actual person halfway through the flight. That was the thing about being in a close knit organization, he always thought about DICE as an extension of himself and everyone else as some sort of nebulous other he had to predict the movements of. Sometimes he forgot that if you spent a lot of time talking to some stranger you find out they have brains and lives and stuff.
Speaking of things that probably have brains and lives and stuff, things seemed to be going good with DICE. Jack had signaled him that she told everyone about the plan when she came by to collect trash. 
Of course, he and Shuichi were the only ones she took trash from. Everyone else was fast asleep, all according to plan. Kokichi had written some last minute details on a napkin he had put in the trash bag, so they all knew they were dropping soon. 
They were also all probably gossiping about him. He supposed that's what he got for ditching them to sit with a detective dressed in black like a sexy motorcycle. Wow that was terrible where did his brain even get that line and how could he use it to make Shuichi freak out. Probably pretty easily...
Except if everything went according to plan maybe he wouldn't have the chance. Not like this. He imagined himself yelling the comment at Shuichi from the safety of a getaway chopper, like in the movies…
Ok his note was basically done now. Oh hmm. This actually seemed kind of desperate, the note. It kind of screamed "track me down to the end of the world please" like some sort of piss baby cry for help. 
Aw shit. He was thinking about what Shuichi thought about him again...
Speak of the devil and he shall appear but Kokichi was already here and hadn't talked about himself in a bit, so Shuichi showed up instead. His hands were wet which meant he washed them and goddammit it was insufferable how tolerable this guy was. Did he have no weaknesses besides being generally awkward and also being someone who used to be a cop? Ugh wait the latter was kind of cool too. Insufferable.
Well you know what they say, if you can't beat em plan to jump off an airplane because you did beat them they just don't know it yet.
Kokichi decided their final trial together deserved some dramatic build up, so he bowed to Shuichi as he got up to let him sit back down. 
"Welcome, combatants." He illustriated, "Take your seat and prepare for the final trial."
Shuichi gave him a wary look as he slid back into his seat. 
"What is it this time?" he asked.
Kokichi considered pulling out the crying on that one, but got too excited about how Shuichi would react to his pulling out the knife instead. Thusly he reprimanded the detective’s lack of enthusiasm with a single tsk.
“You could stand to be a little more concerned mister detective, it’s your life on the line after all.” 
Shuichi gave him a dubious look, like he trusted airport security and general societal norms to keep him from being murdered. 
Kokichi wanted to tear down the walls of that trust.
He pulled out the knife.
Shuichi’s reaction was instantaneous. He practically jumped away from Kokichi in his seat. Weirdly enough... that just made Kokichi realize they had been sitting pretty close before...
How did that happen?
Eh no time for that.
“Is that a knife?” Shuichi yelped, “How did you get a knife on the plane?”
It was weird how Shuichi stuttered about everything except things that were actually dangerous. Well maybe Kokichi having a knife wasn’t really dangerous, but Shuichi didn’t know that and here he was saying complete words. Sentences and all. And yet it still had the streak of incredulity running through it that shot through to Kokichi’s head faster than his own signature panta-redbull blend.
“Oh, a villain's got his ways.” He said in a way that he thought was pretty cool and mysterious.
Shuichi still seemed to be panicking a bit and Kokichi was getting a little tired of that so he brushed past it.
“Now this game's pretty easy to understand, but you gotta be skilled,” he explained matter of factly, “I'll go first to show you how it's done.”
When some other kids had showed him this game when he was an even tinier bastard they had started off slow and slowly sped up. But he was still kind of leaning into the shock factor, and going slow was lame. He started stabbing the table through his fingers at a breakneck pace.
“H-hey!” Shuichi exclaimed (oh so now he stutters), “You're gonna hurt yourself doing that!”
“Pff, as if I would.” 
The thing about this game is that it required rhythm, and rhythm required predictable repetition, and being predictable was the antithesis to everything that brought him joy in life.
He sped up.
“Here it's really easy.”
He went even faster.
The knife went *thuck thuck thuck* as it massacred the table.
When you did something the same way for a long time it gave you time to think about things. It didn’t really give you anything specific to think about, though, so Kokichi always felt like he was wasting time.
The knife went *thkthkthk* between his fingers.
He wanted to consider next steps. How long he would do this for and what would he do if Shuichi lost the game… Instead he started thinking about when he learned the game. He remembered he had picked it up from some of the older kids at one of the homes. The only other thing he remembered about them was one time they had stood by a rose bush with him, tearing off thorns and pushing them into their fingertips. Kokichi had done it and remembered that it didn’t feel like anything at all.
*Schlick*
Your fingers are full of blood vessels and nerves, but if you push down to the cartilage-
Oh wait. 
“Agh!” Shuichi exclaimed from beside him, “You’re bleeding!”
Kokichi was bleeding.
He was looking at his hand. His knife had nicked a millimeter of skin on the inner side of his ring finger, just at the junction between the tip of his finger and the second part of the ligament. It occurred to him that he was in pain.
“Ow,” He said on instinct. Or maybe he thought it in his head. It didn’t matter because he was busy also thinking about how Shuichi had just grabbed his wrist and pulled it over to him.
The detective placed Kokichi’s hand in his lap like a sandwich he was saving for later while he ruffled through his coat pockets. He drew out a bandaid and lifted Kokichi’s hand again. His fingers were longer than Kokichi’s, and they felt sort of cold, like his blood had better places to be than his fingertips. They were very, very gentle as they wrapped a bandage around the bleeding finger. Almost like Shuichi cared or something.
The detective’s greyish green eyes flickered up to him and Kokichi realized Shuichi had really long eyelashes. “You really ought to be more careful.” He said in his soft way.
Kokichi was honestly having more emotions than were necessary about this, so he focused on the annoyance.
Man, good at figuring things out, is interesting, has opinions, and actually cares about other people? Was this guy even a real person??? That seemed like too many character traits. Geez Shuichi, why did mom let you have all of the attractive personality qualities?
Did he say attractive? He meant annoying. 
Shuichi squinted at him. His eye lashes weren’t that long, he was wearing eyeliner. Kokichi had already noticed that. He just had to start thinking coherent thoughts again.
“What is it? Are you alright?”
Yeah, for sure.
Shuichi was still holding his hand and Kokichi decided it was time to not be touching another person again, so he quickly whipped it away. He tried to settle into a boastful kind of hands behind the head pose, but worried that the effect was lost by the sudden squirming of emotions in his gut.
"Geez," Kokichi said petulantly, "I can't believe you actually beat me."
He stomped everything down. It was time for action not... not whatever this was.
Shuichi blinked at him in confusion. "Beat you? But I didn't even play…"
"Doesn't matter." Kokichi shifted to a new pose where he leaned his arm on the rest in between them and propped his head up, positioned for his next steps. "The rules were if I cut myself I lose, and I lost."
“...Although, it doesn't matter if you join my organization or not anymore, Shuichi."
Shuichi looked at him in confusion and Kokichi found it kind of frustrating that he didn’t know which aspect of this that Shuichi was contemplating. 
“Uh, it doesn’t?”
Very eloquent, Shuichi, that clears things up.
"Nope." Kokichi moved a bit so that both elbows rested on the arm rest and propped his head up closer to Shuichi’s. "Because I've already done something much more important than winning."
As Kokichi leaned in Shuichi leaned back. Shuichi was staring pretty intensely at his eyes which made this the perfect opportunity. Kokichi’s hands went lightly down to Shuichi’s waist, where he put the detective’s seat belt into a dreadknot.
“W-what's that?” The detective stammered, no doubt as alarmed by the proximity as Kokichi had anticipated.
Kokichi hadn’t really anticipated what he would say next though.
He went with, “I've stolen your heart.” He felt a millennia of DICE movie nights spent making fun of romantic comedies crash against his soul and decided to change the genre before he embarrassed himself. “Because I'm a thief you know?”
He was practically breathing in Shuichi’s ear by now, which made this next part a little hard. He unbuckled his seatbelt. Then, in a fluid motion Kokichi’s hands went behind his head as he arched to place them on the aisle armrest. He did a handstand for an instant on the arm rest before landing his feet across the aisle on to some poor bastard’s tray table.
When he came up for air he observed that he had knocked a cup over and that Shuichi had just noticed his own seat belt malfunction. The detective’s look of dawning realization felt like a standing ovation.
"Hmmm, I really should kill you, now that you've seen my face," and maybe he would if DICE were that kind of organization. It was kind of troubling that the police would get sketches, and the gang would probably harrang him about it. But eh, what can you do. 
Certainly not murder. You can’t just murder people. That’d be dumb. Boring even.
Kokichi hopped down from the tray table and grabbed his heist bag. It would’ve been bad to forget that, he considered as he pulled out his mask, Louvre cameras are a lot more reliable than a half asleep detective’s recount.
Said detective was certainly fully awake now, looking at Kokichi in an utterly gobsmacked manner. Kokichi felt like he was sinking his teeth into the stem of a rose thrown from the audience.
"... But I think that'd be a waste, don't you?" Maybe the trouble was what he was looking for, after all. He wondered if they would fingerprint the arm rests when the plane touched down. They wouldn’t find any matches in any criminal database, so it didn’t matter much to him. He put on his gloves anyway before tossing Shuichi the note he had written.
No time for second drafts. He thought as he started walking down the aisle.
“Somebody! Stop him!” Shuichi yelled from behind him. It was so manga detective that Kokichi wanted to scream.
The rest of DICE was already getting up with their parachutes on, and a few turned towards Shuichi’s call. Thank goodness they were wearing their masks because he wasn’t sure if Shuichi could still see down the aisle or not. He might’ve seen Jack’s face, but she had been wearing a lot of makeup so it was probably fine.
She certainly didn’t seem concerned. She was checking the knots the only actual flight attendant on the plane was trussed up in.
Ace, always a little over eager, wrenched open the emergency exit as Kokichi was still putting his parachute on. He felt the drastic change of air pressure in those spaces you feel it in your skull and stomach. He hadn’t realized how warm the inside of the plane was until the cold air sucked it out. 
He used convenient zippers to close up his hoodie pockets, knife included, and buckled up the rest of the parachute’s straps.
He looked back, just once. Shuichi was peering out at him in the aisle. He looked like his world was ending and Kokichi reveled in the power of that. That he was just that important to this detective.
The curtains are about to drop but there are still people screaming in the balconies.
He smiled.
The encore wasn’t up to him.
“So long, Mr. Detective!" He got to the window. "Better luck next time.”
Kokichi jumped back first out of the plane and the walls and the aisles and the lights of the plane slipped out of view through the emergency exit one by one.
And he fell.
He fell and flipped over to take in the view of Paris below. The city of lights indeed. It was beautiful, he supposed.
He fell, letting himself enjoy the breeze a bit before reaching terminal velocity. 
He didn't though. 
Enjoy it. 
It felt like getting on a fucking awesome roller coaster except it’s also your every day ride to your job at some dead end minimum wage desk.
It was… boring. Routine.
Just victory, just the Louvre, just air.
Even as the other members of DICE whooped and hollered on their descent, Kokichi realized the fun part of the heist was already over. The whole heist was over.
He could predict it all.
He would deploy his parachute, he would float down to the Louvre, and he would orchestrate a perfect heist.
But Kokichi Ouma realized then that he would never stopped falling.
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Text
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester: Final Part
Chapter Summary
The brothers and Ariel deduce a witch is sacrificing people to summon a dangerous demon. Dean struggles with the consequences of Ariel’s behavior.
Pairing(s): Eventual Dean x Ariel, Castiel x Ariel
Warning(s): Heavy Angst, MAJOR Character Death, Fluff (if you squint), Typical SUPERNATURAL Violence, Mild Language
A/N: This episode will focus heavily on Ariel’s POV. It is still in 3rd person but centered around her experiences. So it won’t involve much of the episode besides the parts i find crucial. Please feel free to leave feedback.
Beta’d by no one
Word count: 2,803
Ariel’s outfits
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HEAVEN ADJACENT
Ariel let out a blood-curdling scream as recognition dawned on her face. She did not want to be here; she had to help the Winchesters. The archangel yanked at the chains, trying her best to break free.
"Let me go!" Ariel cried, trying to figure out who it was that was to be her executioner today; Michael or Raphael. "I just want to be free..." She screamed.
"Now, you know I can't let you do that." A calm, disembodied voice took over Ariel's senses.
The woman shut her eyes and shook her head. "No..." Her body began trembling, tears welling in her eyes. "I would have accepted dying by the hands of Raphael, but you big brother?"
"Raphael couldn't handle one simple task." Michael let out a heavy sigh and walked around his little sister. "This way, you can't prevent it, and he won't have a boost when he comes back."
Ariel scrunched up her face as she looked to Michael. "You're pathetic. An insufferable leader who can't get past the fact that Dad is gone- He doesn't care about us, so if killing me is your grand way of finally getting his attention- you're wrong!"
"Fine." The commander summoned his blade, it flying to his hands. "Any last words, little one?"
Ariel shut her eyes, despite having said all that about her father, she loved him very much. She prayed.
'Father, I wanted to tell you that I appreciate you. What transpired that day was not your fault and that someday I hope you forgive yourself. Protect Sam and Dean Winchester. They are gifts to humanity.'
When she finished praying, she opened her eyes and gave Michael a bleak smile. "I hate you. I hate you so much. I hate you-"
Michael drove the archangel blade into her being, a golden light seeping through the multiple wounds already on her body. He gazed into her sapphire eyes, watching the light fade. It was hard for him. All that was left were him and Raphael to run heaven and that was hard enough as it was.
Ariel let out a shrill scream, her wings flaring out as the pain grew stronger. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked to her brother, who shared almost the same worried look.
A tear fell over the precipice and ran down her cheek.
Once he drove the blade deeper, a blinding orange light filled the room, as well as her eyes, mouth, and nose.
Then, a blastwave of orange light emitted from the woman's body.
"It'll be alright," Michael whispered just as he twisted the blade, killing Ariel. He cradled her head gently and laid her down to the ground, the silhouette of her massive wings burned into the floor where she now laid.
He figured her vessel would be dead by now, considering all the stab wounds, so there was no point as to trying to save her. Michael shut the woman's eyes and inhaled deeply.
"It will be alright." He murmured, more so trying to convince himself that things will be okay, but that was far from the truth.
Michael left his temporary vessel.
EARTH- IMPALA
Sam looked around in a panic while Dean was still staring at the spot where his angel used to be. His right side. That's where she belonged, but she just got a blade stuck through her throat then vanished with the two worst angels he ever met.
All he wanted at the moment was his 'burden.' "Ariel?" Dean murmured. He raised his hands to his head. What was he supposed to do?
"Dean, we gotta go." Sam breathed, pushing his brother out the door and toward the steps.
Dean did not want to budge; he dragged his hands down his face and looked at his vandalized car with wide eyes from the balcony. "Yeah..." He exhaled, wiping the forming tears in his eyes and nodding. "Yeah, okay, The seal."
The brothers climbed into Baby, sadness clouding Sam's features. Dean glanced at his brother, feeling the disappointment radiating off his being.
"What?" Dean asked.
Sam thumbed the string on the hex bag and shook his head, "Nothing." He chuckled, a line appearing between his brows. "I thought they'd be different-"
"Who- the angels?" Dean queried, gazing intently at his brother's agonized grimace.
The giant nodded, licking his lower lip and letting out a repressed sigh. "Yeah, I just- I thought they'd be righteous. Did you see how they treated Ariel... I mean- Ariel talked about Castiel like he was her bestest friend, and he stabbed her in the throat." Sam shut his eyes and shook his head.
Dean winced at Ariel's name. Just the sound of it sent a pang through his heart; he was sure she was still alive, she had to be. He could feel it. "They are righteous. That's kinda the problem." He let out a sad sigh. "Of course, there's nothing more dangerous than some a-hole who thinks he's on a holy mission."
"But, I mean, this is God? And Heaven? This is what I've been praying to?" Sam lifted his brows, trying his best to be strong like Dean, but it was hard. There was so much crap going on, and he still couldn't shake the feeling that they might not save the seal.
Sam Winchester lost faith.
"Look, man, I know you're into the whole God thing and Jesus on a tortilla and stuff like that." Dean paused and reached for a wilted poppy flower. Ariel whipped up the bulb out of thin air and read him a cryptic Enochian poem when she gave it to him.
'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '
Dean stared at the steering wheel with a distant look in his eyes. He felt like someone had ripped out part of his soul. He did not like this feeling at all.
Dean frowned and stuffed the flower in a hidden pocket inside his flannel, "Just because there's a couple of bad apples doesn't mean the whole barrel's rotten. I mean- for all we know, God hates these jerks...Don't give up on this stuff, is all I'm saying. Babe Ruth was a dick, but baseball's still a beautiful game."
Sam looked up at his big brother, disappointment still in his eyes. "Ariel- she uh, she's a good apple, right?"
There was a long pause.
The boy with the demon blood unraveled the hex bag and started to go through its contents. He began to fiddle with the charred bone.
Dean thumbed the steering wheel and put on his best smile. He had to carry on.
"Are you gonna figure out a way to find this witch, or are you gonna sit there fingering your bone?" The 30-year-old pursed his lips and started the impala. He didn't want to talk about Ariel, not anymore; At least not until he knew that she was safe and not bleeding everywhere.
Dean was set on translating the poem.
'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '
Sam held up the bone and studied it. "You know how much heat it would take to char a bone like this, Dean?"
"No."
"A lot, I mean, more than a fire or some kitchen oven." Sam set the bone down in the cloth.
"Okay, Betty Crocker, what does that mean?" Dean glanced at his brother with a raised brow.
Sam sighed with a look of determination in his eyes. "It means we take a stop."
One day after Halloween
NOV 1ST, 2008
Dean sat on a bench, observing the small children as they played on the jungle gym. Ariel was still 'missing,' and he was set on finding her; he just needed to know where to start. The human pulled out the poppy flower.
'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '
A faint sound of fluttering could be heard to the far left by the other bench.
Dean addressed the angel and in an annoyed tone. "Let me guess, you're here for the 'I told you so.' " The human let out a peeved sigh and wiped the few tears that had escaped his tear ducts.
"No."
"Well, Good, 'cause I'm really not that interested." Dean quipped.
Castiel clasped his hands together and interlocked his fingers. "I am not here to judge you, Dean."
"Then, why are you here? 'Cause there's no more people to stab. " Dean murmured.
Castiel glanced down at his feet, "Our orders-"
"Yeah, you know, I've had about enough of these orders of yours-" Dean leaned forward on the bench, perching his elbows on his knees.
The soldier stared at the children with wide eyes and just let out a breath, "Our orders were not to stop the summoning of Samhain, they were to do whatever you told us to do."
"Your orders were to follow my orders?" Dean asked in disbelief. There was no way someone told them to listen to The Winchesters.
'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '
Castiel looked to the hunter with an odd look in his eyes; It was pain. "It was a test...to see how you would perform under...battlefield conditions, you might say."
"It was a witch..." Dean started, narrowing his eyes and licking his lower lip. "Not the Tet Offensive."
Castiel smiled, a light chuckle escaping past his lips. This reaction grabbed Dean's attention. It was strange seeing Cas smile. It meant something was changing within him.
Dean and Castiel gazed at the children.
It warmed Castiel's frozen heart to see his father's creations playing. Cas was pulled away from his thoughts when Dean let out a heavy sigh.
"So, I, uh, failed your test, huh? I get it." Dean inhaled deeply and set his mouth in a hard line. "But you know what? If you would have waved that magic time-traveling wand of yours and we had to do it all over again, I'd make the same call..." He paused and glanced at the soldier. "'Cause see, I don't know what's gonna happen when these seals are broken, hell I don't even know what's gonna happen tomorrow. But what I do know is, is that this here?--" Dean motioned to the playground. "These kids, the swings, the trees, all of it is still here because of my brother and me."
'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '
Castiel inhaled, fixing his eyes on the jaded man before him. "You misunderstand me, Dean. I'm not like you think...I didn't want to turn her in, and I was praying that you would choose to save the town."
"You were?"  Dean queried. He ignored the part about Ariel; he wasn't ready to think of the possibility that she might be dead.
"These people-" Cas leaned forward and set his elbows on his knees. "They're all my father's creations." He gestured to the children. "They're works of art, and yet, even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was broken, and we are one step closer to hell on earth, for all creation. And that's not an expression, Dean, It's literal. You of all people should appreciate what that means."
A line appeared between Dean's brows as he thought about Lucifer rising. He averted his gaze and pressed his lips together. Why did it feel so out of his control at this point? He wasn't sure how many seals were left, and no one was giving him and Sam any insight on where to find them and stop them.
The hunter reached into his jacket and pulled out the enchanted poppy flower, thumbing the wilted petals. Why did everything have to be on his shoulders? He wished Ariel was here.
'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '
Castiel stared at the dead flower carefully, watching the Enochian magic circle around the stem. He averted his gaze, not sure what to say to Dean at the moment, who was having trouble translating the words to English.
"Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul?"  The soldier looked at the ground, troubled.
"Okay."
"I'm not a- um...hammer as you say. I have questions, I... I have doubts. I don't know what is right and what is wrong anymore, whether you passed or failed here." Cas sat back on the bench, pain in his eyes. "But in the coming months, you will have more decisions to make."
There was a beat.
'Keep ah balit ooa c ol, lap ds capimao ge geh ag longer el, ol wilt. '
Castiel resumed, "I don't envy the weight that's on your shoulders, Dean. I truly don't."
The hunter and angel share a long look.
Dean turned his attention to a small ginger child, and for some reason, reminded him of his angel. He looked back to where Castiel had been sitting with an agonized expression. He wished that the decisions weren't up to him. Why did he have to decide the fate of the planet?
Why only him?
Dean sighed, imaging if Ariel was there to comfort him. She would sing and tell him that he was not alone and that everything will be alright. The righteous man leaned back against the bench and gave Ariel his best-veiled smile, but there was no use, she always saw right through it.
Damned you, empathy.
He played out the scene in his head.
"You look constipated, Did your talk with Castiel upset you?" Ariel poked fun at the human, trying her best to joke around like he usually did, but it didn't seem to work this time. The angel took a seat next to him, a wan smile plastered on her face.
Dean chuckled a bit at her tease but just didn't have it in him to hold up his facade. Tears shimmered in his eyes as he gazed down at the poppy in his hands. "Why me? I mean- I can't do this..." He managed to get out before strangled sobs filled the silence.
Dean began crying as he started to piece together some of the Enochian words.
Ariel's eyebrows knitted at his question. She wished it could be different for him, but some people were destined for greatness and a man like Dean Winchester, it was his destiny. The redhead drew her lower lip between her teeth and looked to her human counterpart. "You can do this...I believe in you." She whispered.
Her words prompted Dean to make eye contact with her. Dean gazed into Ariel's sapphire eyes and shook his head. "I don't- I can't lose any more people." He choked out, gripping the poppy tight in his hands as if he was afraid it would disintegrate.
"We can do this... I believe in us, Dean. You, me, and Sam." Ariel reached out her left hand and gingerly covered his hands with hers. As much as she wanted to cry with him, she had to be strong.
"Everything will be alright," Ariel whispered.
Dean shut his eyes and allowed for her warmth to envelop him. He nodded his head and faked a smile as his tears ran down his face. "Okay," He sniffled.
Ariel inched closer to the human and planted a soft kiss to his tear-stained cheeks, not caring at all if she got them on her lips. "It will be alright." She murmured while giving him another kiss but closer to his lips.
"I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere." Ariel cooed.
Dean hastily turned his body toward hers and clutched the sides of her face.
He had here and now.
The hunter roughly locked lips with the angel, afraid at any moment she might evaporate. He dug his fingertips into her head and pulled her closer to deepen the kiss, but it wasn't enough.
This will never be enough.
Ariel returned the tender gesture by placing her hands on his shoulders and squeezing them tightly. She traced her fingers across the handprint she left on Dean that day.
Nothing good in this life lasts forever.
Dean finally translated the words, his face contorting at the thought.
'Keep a good eye on me, for when we are no longer one, I wilt.'  
The broken man opened his eyes to look at the empty spot next to him; he hated this feeling. He longed for it after so many years, but now he just wanted it to go away; It hurt too much because he knew it never lasted.
Why did it have to be him?
"I love you..." He breathed.
And that is what scared Dean now that he was alone.
SERIES MASTERLIST
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fthisimkmsing · 5 years
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My notes cause I don't need them anymore (not a hail Mary attempt)
To the girl I've spent countless hours and days with I still love you more than life itself even though I may not need you i want you in my life your cute little smile when you fuck something up or when you can't reach something and you need my help your laugh and smile is euphoric and your character as a whole is amazing i love spending every waking moment with you you have been so helpful and kind to me hell you got me through many tough times and I'm sorry I am so inactive and don't like going out much I'll try to work on that but i just wnant to hold you in my arms forever and keep you close to me and safe you are absolutely drop dead gorgeous you will make a wonderful mother one day to our children or otherwise and I envy whoever you end up choosing if it's not me there's a couple of things i want to do again with you like another concert where it feels like just you and me or another round at the fair itd be wonderful i love you Rebekah so much I hope you know that and I miss you a lot too its 2 am so im gonna go to sleep goodnight  i promise if i have anymore to say ill come back and add on sleep well my beautiful angel <3 funny thing is im typing this to make myself feel better like im talking to you even though you probably won't ever see this i pray that you will find what you need in life you mean so much to me i told my new coworker about you and how gorgeous and smart you are i really wish i could just tell you all of this but you want me to stay away  i really hope we find our happily ever after whether it be together or apart but you will always be so many of my firsts and so many of my fondest memories <3 today I told my new coworker how proud I was of you getting your car and how you bought it yourself i really miss hugging you and cuddling you and seeing your gorgeous ass self you are really amazing and i love you so much I'd die/take a bullet for you in a heartbeat but today i really came to a realization you probably won't like to hear if you get back together with me i realized that even though im a little chubby and should really work out more i am the whole package I will be a great husband and have a great future and whomever decides to come along for that ride would really enjoy it i feel so if you weren't to come back you're missing out on a guaranteed great husband and great future which yes i know confidence much maybe almost downright cocky but I'm happy with what the future holds for me and whomever decides to come with me and if I've said it once I've said it a thousand times i wish it could be you i really do cause despite my being scared of you potentially cheating I have faith and deep down i know you won't cause you are honest and real with me (unless you weren't in which case awwwkwaaarrrdd) but yeah you'd be a great mother and whoever you marry will be lucky and happy they have you and same thing for me :) you know the funniest thing anytime i text anyone and so ok i love you too your name pops up first in my next word choice box cause that's what I did i loved you hell i definitely still do and for some reason if you asked me to marry you there would be no hesitation no i need time to think just one word yes cause that's who i am and that's how head over heels i am for you i want to hug you bad hell I'd give away my paycheck to fucking see and talk to you again and make you fall in love all over again you did something no one and nothing could do you made me truly happy like true true happiness i love you so much Rebekah sleep well baby girl I hope you have a fantastic day tomorrow you are the bestest ever forever <3 lol today was my first ever college football tailgate with my church college group in Greenville today was also one of those days I was sad but i wasn't at first i was fine just felt a little out of place but quickly threw myself in and i got away from everyone for a bit and checked snapchat and saw that you finally got your tattoo and I was so happy for you but sad at the same time cause I wanted to be with you maybe get one with you but sadly i missed that milestone
Im sorry for missing your first tattoo I wish i couldve been there for you and with you im so proud of you cause your tattoo couldn't be truer you are coming from nothing and making big strides that's a big accomplishment I love you hell maybe I'll get a tattoo soon you never know i saw the flirting posts that i "liked" so i unfollowed you on everything cause it hurt so much i like instantly started crying and what do they have i don't you are killing me it broke me all over again i did everything I could to make you happy i tried so hard and it feels like you're really not fighting or trying to better yourself it feels like you just want to get with someone else cause I wasn't enough for you my efforts meant nothing today a Sunday night i was with my small group and you "accidentally sent me a video of you showing off your new tattoo the day or so after i removed you from all social media since i found out unfriending doesn't make me disappear on your end so i blocked you sorry but i have to thank you for understanding and being respectful so recently I've really been going after God and it came to my attention that i was wanting you to be something you can't be and weren't designed to be aka i wanted you to satisfy me completely which is impossible only God can do that also i lusted after you so much even though i had so much love for you aswell but my lust being me using you for my benefit aka my happiness and stuff was wrong i should've been more loving aka sacrificial of myself to benefit or help you and I'm so very sorry about that i wish i couldve been a better leader for you sadly for right now at least it seems i am too late hey i just wanted to say even if we don't get back together I'm really glad i met you you were a wonderful first also you'd be proud of me i was gogogo for 17/18 hours from 4:50am to 9:53pm thats kinda insane for me lol I'm so happy today like i feel hella blessed and loved and it's not necessarily from a person i just feel so in touch with God rn i know ur probably like smh but for real im like on fire its awesome but i just wanted to let you know even though you might never see this and if you do its been a hot minute lol but it's not to hurt you it's to show you i guess my self improvement slash progression of life in general i suppose  also just wanted you to know but im sure u already do you are a really beautiful woman and I am saying that cause i can appreciate a beautiful woman you don't have priority anymore but i just wanted to let you know that god bless that was hard to explain but even that is obscure IM NOT HITTING ON YOU IM JUST APPRECIATING GOD'S CRAFTSMANSHIP BAM there we go ok so just looked at pictures of us on my phone and hot damn you fine lol (still appreciating the craftsmanship) hey its been a bit i went on a retreat with fuse and it was amazing i met a lot of guys and girls and am continuing to talk with some of the girls but the more i talk with them the more i miss talking with you i really wish we could at least be friends again but i guess not :( I'm glad I met you Rebekah you were a fantastic first girlfriend I just want you to know im not mad with you i respect your decision wholeheartedly you were great and hell I'll say it I miss you you were really fun to hang with i wish to tell you this but alas I'm here and you're nowhere to be seen in my life and I can almost guarantee you're not as affected and definitely not to the degree I am (it's not so bad for you you have to  journal your experience of life without me) part of my heart is with you and always will be because the sex we had same thing with you part of your heart will always be with me and im sorry for that today i thought about you and when you told me that you imagined us sitting on the porch in rocking chairs and it kinda made me think and i was like you probably gonna come back and I hope you do but if you don't that's highly unfortunate  it's felt like months since we saw eachother last but it's only been like 1 and a half  longest month of my life tbh
Its 9/23/19 I'm gonna talk to your mom tomorrow after i get off work to check up on how everyone is doing you will probably hear a little or everything that's going on with me it may not attract you in fact it's very possible it'll repel you but hey it really doesn't matter you're an awesome girl and I'm a pretty cool dude lol if you decide to go separate ways that is your choice and I'll respect it even if it saddens me because I'm moving forward  which is something else I never thought I'd be where i am today this early but I hope you you do come back you did make my life happier but now I'm happy even without you which is awesome I swear to never rely on you for my happiness I will look more towards the Lord and walk towards him with you by my side and no more big mistakes oh btw I talked with your mom and I'm glad I did your mom is a good mom I really miss you and your family and I keep praying for you guys and for clarity of who I'm meant to be with or if im not supposed to be with you at all and last night I dreamed about you so I think that was God telling me i need to be with you but I don't know I want to be with you don't het me wrong but I don't want to misinterpret my dreams it's now 9/27/19 and it hurt me to hear you were dating someone tbh but I'm glad you are getting out there and I'm happy for you regarding how well you are doing at church what I don't think is good is that you're dating someone that doesn't know the lord he has someone for you that knows and loves him thus you shouldn't be in that relationship in my opinion but as i said I just want the best for you
" we do bible shit"
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sorayahigashikata · 6 years
Text
Chapter 40: "What's the buzz?"
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bffhreprise · 8 years
Text
Entry 149
  The line for dancing with James was most disagreeable, but I endured.  I easily could understand why everyone wanted to dance with him.  Even if his magic wasn’t compelling them to like him, James was charming and a very talented dancer.  He was handsome and kind, too kind for his own good, really.
 Watching Aaliyah take a turn dancing with him was interesting, but I still kept on guard.  I understood well the futility of fighting her, but I couldn’t idly abide by her whims in good conscience, not while knowing the cruelties she inflicts all too well.
 When the two finished their dancing to a loud ovation, I followed Chad over to speak with them.
 “Maybe you should be giving my daughter dance lessons.  her instructors don’t feel they can keep up with her.” he boasted.
 Laughing, James insisted “I can’t really either.”
 “You seemed to do just fine from what I saw, but I don’t really know dance myself.  Thank you for babysitting Aaliyah so much lately.  Work’s kept me really busy.” admitted Chad with a smile.
 “I almost feel more like we’re just hanging out anymore, really.” confided James.
 His smile seemed somewhat forced now.  Had something happened?
 “Oh, I can understand that.  She’s definitely something, aren’t you sweetie?” asked Chad as he smiled at Aaliyah.
 “I’m so glad we met James, daddy.  He’s the bestest babysitter ever!  We had so much fun together!  James was really impressed with our yacht!” she exclaimed.
 “I can’t blame him.  I still don’t know how you got that thing so cheap, much less how you got a license for it.” he replied.  Then he turned back to James and said, “If you ever have kids, James, you’ll be amazed what they can be licensed for these days.”
 “Yeah, but I doubt mine will be able to keep up with Aaliyah.  I certainly can’t.” he insisted.
 Laughing, Chad said, “Me neither.  I’m surprised you got any sleep.  It’s easy to lose track of time out on the water, just watching the sky.”
 “He actually hasn’t slept yet.” stated Aaliyah.
 “Oh.  Wow.  You look so alert even after all that dancing.  Age must already be getting to me.  I’d be ready to drop if I tried that.” claimed Chad.
 “Yeah.  I don’t get it either.” admitted James.
 “I slipped him something.” claimed Aaliyah with a wink.
 I really would not be surprised.  I was more surprised by the admission that these two were out on a yacht last night.  Had she really stolen him from under my gaze after allowing me to think he was off on a date and then accepted payment for watching him?  Well, she might have saved him from something they couldn’t mention in present company and taken him to the yacht thereafter.  Trying to get answers from her could prove futile, and James would certainly not wish for me to pry.  Not knowing was taxing me nerves.
 Chad had merely laughed off Aaliyah’s comment, but James seemed to believe her.  Given her skills, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had created some sort of drug to help him exceed his normal limits, but was she using him as a guinea pig?  That would be entirely unacceptable, but how should I broach the subject?
 Just noticing my presence, Chad exclaimed “Alma!”  Then, speaking French, he filled me in on what had just been said.
 I took the opportunity to ask “What’s this about James not sleeping?”
 “I kept him up all night long!” exclaimed Aaliyah.
 I knew she was attempting to insinuate something simply to rile my nerves, but I would not… Why was James’ body heat increasing!?
 “Oh?” I inquired, trying to discern what she had done.
 “James?  Is the sleep deprivation finally getting to you, bud?” asked Chad.
 “Huh?” replied James.
 “You’re blushing.” I pointed out.
 “Can you blame me for being hot?  I’ve been dancing for hours.  It’s not like I’m some sort of superhuman.” he argued.
 There was something else that had happened last night, but what!?  He clearly wasn’t going to tell me.  I certainly couldn’t claim another dance now… but maybe he would offer one if I suggested the idea.  He might be willing to tell me more away from Chad.
 “Well, I was going to ask if you cared for another dance, but I suppose a rest would be agreeable.” I told him.
 Before James had a chance to reply, Chad asked “Will you be accompanying them on the trip this next week?”
 “Trip?” I inquired, wondering how I was uninformed of a trip.
 “Oh, yes.  I’ve hired the boss-man and the others to help me promote Ancient Tribes of Earth at the convention this week.  Would you like to join us?  I still need to ask the twins as well.  I have costumes for everyone, so they can dress up as their character!” exclaimed Aaliyah in explanation.
 Now what was she on about?  Her game was already a top seller, and I didn’t believe any further promotion was necessary.  She was always up to something.  Unless… No!  Did she set up this conversation to inform James that I played?
 “I suppose that can be arranged, but I’ll need to see this costume before agreeing to wear it.” I stated, deciding I best be dragged into this rather than let James face it alone.
 “Wait.  Why would you have a costume?  Do you play?” asked James.
 I forced my face to maintain a facade of calm.  This was not a conversation I had wanted to face this quickly.  How was I going to explain this without him exploding again?
 “Oh yeah.  Alma plays Eseld.  I thought you knew, being the guild leader and all.” stated Chad.
 I knew he meant well, but Chad’s timing couldn’t be more detrimental to my standing.  James’ face first looked shocked but quickly changed.  I could see the anger building.  I tentatively touched his arm, hoping against hope that I might be given a chance to explain myself.
 “I’m actually in your guild under Alma, but i didn’t want to say too much with how busy you are.  I know I could just get help from my little princess, but I wanted to experience the game like a normal player without too many hints or favoritism.  Aaliyah can go a little overboard in her explanations at times.” explained Chad, completely missing the landmine he had set off.
 The anger suddenly subsided, replaced by a small smile.
 I turned to Chad and said, “You are a wonderful asset, and I’m quite glad to have you on my team.”
 I wished I could thank him more.  I wasn’t certain what deflected James’ anger precisely, but he was obviously calming down now.
 What was he doing?  His hand moved toward me, brushing my hair with his fingers the moment they were within reach.  This was most unexpected and not entirely appropriate, but…
 “I hadn’t realized that Alma was Eseld until now, but I suppose I should have known given that she’s the best general I have.” stated James.
 “What have you two been doing lately, other than babysitting my girl?” asked Chad.  “The guild’s never quite the same when you’re not on there.  I can’t say what it is exactly, but there always seems to be something missing when you’re not there.”
 “James has been going on daaates.” replied Aaliyah in a sing-song tone.
 I did not need her to remind me of what James had been doing, and she most certainly knew, given how she was there as well.
 Chad quickly covered Aaliyah’s mouth with his hand as he pulled her to him.  Then he said, “Oh.  Well then.  Just don’t forget to hop on when you can.  If you don’t mind excusing us, I’d like Aaliyah’s help figuring out what’s what on the snack table over there.”
 James and I both started speaking the moment they left, stopping just as quickly.
 “You go first.” he stated.
 “I planned on telling you.  I just hadn’t decided on how yet.” I admitted.
 His hand was still stroking my hair.  He said, “Considering how great our conversations were, I’ll forgive this.  Just please don’t manipulate me anymore.”
 “You do know I’m a woman, right?” I teased.
   The jest earned me a laugh, and I breathed a sigh of relief as I smiled at him.  Hope remained.
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