#he laughs like a dolphin change my mind

[giggly-squiggily]

The Tickle Mobster (Piofiore)

Did I love Nicola's route? Meh. Does this man radiate Ler energy without trying? Absolutely.

Heyo everyone! Today I bring you Nicola Francesca of Piofiore for a fic because this man just NEEDS one! Just- look at him! I don't really have much to say for this beyond thank you for letting me be self indulgent with these fics akjrkjearjke I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Nicola decides to mess with Lili. That's it- that's the fic.

Nicola poked his head around the corner of the salon, eyes finding his dear beloved sitting by with a book. She was a picture of calm, blond hair tossed in a loose braid over her shoulder and cheeks flushed with happiness. The characters in her story must be endearing to have such attention.

Anyone else would likely feel bad for distracting her from such a sight.

Alas, he was a criminal, and criminals rarely feel bad for disturbing the peace.

Creeping over to her, he raised his arms, fingers wiggling with devious intent as he went to surprise her. Oh, how he couldn’t wait to hear her squeals-

“Hello, Nicola.”

He froze, just inches from her now. “Oh, hello Lili. How’d you know I was here?”

“You’re getting predictable, dear.” She didn’t look at him, but he could see her smile growing. “You always come by to play tricks on me whenever I’m at the salon. What was it last time- an ice cube down my dress? And the time before that- you were sneaking flowers in my hair without me knowing.”

“Those were good tricks!” He argued, fighting off a laugh at the shriek she let out at his chilly prank. “And your hair looked stunning with the flowers in it.”

“Hm.” She merely shrugged one of her delicate shoulders, flipping a page in her book. Oh that does it!

“Why you- come here!” He wrapped her up in his arms from behind, making her yelp and drop her book. “I’ll show you what happens when you dismiss me so!”

“What are you-ah! Aheahhahhaa, nohohohohoho! Nihihihihcolahhahhaha!” Lili let out a squeal of mirth as his hands attacked her sides, dancing along her ribs. “Whahahahait it tihihiihihckles!”

“Does it now? I never would have guessed.” Feeling extra bold, he leaned in- gently nibbling on her earlobe. That earned him a proper squeal. “What, does it tickle too much? Hmm? Is my adorable Lili too ticklish for her own good?”

“Nihihihihcola! Aheahahhaha- whoahahaha!” She yelped when he released her, sending her tumbling onto her side. Second later he vaulted over the couch, properly pinning her beneath him as he carried on scratching at her stomach and ribs. “Aheahhahaha, nohohohoho fahahhahahair! Nohohohohoo fahhhahahair!”

“Yes fair! I just wanna hear you laugh, is that so much to ask?” He cooed in her neck, continuing his gentle bites and nuzzles as his hands danced across the various tickle spots along her torso. Lili could only thrash and cackle, her hands slapping at his shoulders as she kicked her feet against the cushions. “Such a pretty sound~”

“Aheahhahahhha! Iiihihihf you lihihihihke lauhuhuhuhughing soohohoho muhuhuhuch, thahahahake thihihihihs!” She cried, switching gears from defending to fighting back. With a burst of strength, she shot her hands out to his sides, grabbing and squeezing.

Unfortunately... “Sorry, love. I’m not ticklish.” Nicola winked at her, much to her shock.

“Wahahahit wahahahit tihihime ohoho-OHOOHOHOHUT!” She cried when he went back to tickling her, focusing his efforts onto the bad spots along her hips. “TIIHIHME OHOHOHUT PLEHAHAHAHSE!”

“Hmm..okay.” Nicola paused, watching her gasp for air beneath him. “Lemme know when you’re ready.”

“Eh..ehehehe..heeh…” She ran a hand over her messy hair, pushing it out of her flushed face as she glared weakly up at him. “Thehehere’s no whahhay you’re not ticklish! Everyone is!”

“Sorry, but I’m afraid I’m the exception.” He leaned into his fist with a boyish grin, his other hand coming up to trace her cheek. “You can ask anyone here and they’ll tell you it’s true.”

“I bet Dante knows the truth.”

“Oh he wishes. It’d probably make him feel better given how many times I’ve tickled him.” He laughed softly, something nostalgic in his voice. Lili felt her heart melt at the thought of them so close.

Alas, she needed to focus! “Can I check?”

“With him? No way. You're all mine.” He winked at her, making her flush.

“No, can I tickle you! I want to see for myself if you’re seriously not ticklish!” She puffed, determined. Nicola’s eyes widened some before he chuckled, warmth in his expression.

“So stubborn. Alright- but just know; for every tickle you give me, I’m gonna give you back tenfold.” He climbed off of her, laying back on the sofa as she switched their positions. “It really is a wasted effort, Lili. Don’t cry if you can’t make me laugh.”

“Hush, I won’t.” She waved him off, getting comfortable as she debated where to even begin. Nicola was a picture of serene, arms tucked behind his head and ankles crossed. He was looking at her so lovingly she nearly forgot what she was doing.

“Stop, you’re distracting me!” She blushed, looking away.

“Nah, I love seeing you blush. It’s beautiful.” He teased, making said act darken.

“You’re so mean! Fine, take this!” Anticipation was useless here. She reached out and prodded at his armpits. Then she tapped into his upper ribs. Then swept a few fingers into his neck and chin.

Nothing. Nicola just laid there. The chin scritches did make him arch some with a purr, but she was sure it was just him enjoying them more than anything. She dropped her hands lower, squeezing his lower ribs and sides with little success. She then prodded at his belly, but the event led to nothing. At some point, she started jabbing at his chest.

“Whoa, careful now. You might just get me excited.” He grinned up at her, watching her squeak and pull her hands back flustered. “Just kidding! Hehehe.”

“Hmmmph!” With a huff, she nearly gave up. She dared a little lower, squeezing along his hips with no success. “You really aren’t ticklish, huh?”

“Nope.” He pulled her down soon after, trapping her against his chest as he got ready to tickle her once more. “Now, where were we-”

Footsteps came, followed by a small yelp and someone clearing their throat. “S-Scusi.” A flustered Dante apologized, cheeks on fire as he turned towards the door. “I’ll have this in my office-”

“Dante!” Lili quickly sat up, pushing her mortification at the misunderstanding aside for this golden opportunity. “Dante, hang on- where is Nicola ticklish?”

“I told her already, I’m not ticklish.” The underboss was quick to interject. In that moment, Lili was sure she heard a hint of nervousness in his voice. “Enjoy your cafe latte, Dante!”

“Don’t go! Tell me!”

“Really, we’re fine over here.”

“Hush!”

“How cruel!”

Dante sighed, holding his brow as he turned to look at the pair. “As Nicola said, he’s not ticklish. Best to believe him.”

Lili felt her heart sink, disappointment slumping her shoulders. Nicola patted her hand gently as Dante began to leave once more.

Only then did he pause, looking back into the room. “His back and knees were bad when we were kids though.” He gave a rare cheeky grin before scurrying away, Nicola’s curses following him out.

“Dante you son of a- I’ll get you back!” Nicola called after him in betrayal, arching some when Lili slipped her hands beneath him, curling her fingers.

“Your back, huh? What luck- I’m in the perfect spot to reach it.” With a sweet little kiss to his cheek, she rapidly began curling her fingers against the spot, delighted as he began to crumble in mirth. ‘Now, let me show you how it feels to be tricked!”

Thanks for reading!

[priniya]

ᯓᡣ𐭩 FORTS AND DADDY TIME! ᡣ𐭩ᯓ

pairing. oscar piastri x leclerc!wife!reader

summary. when you need to stay at work for longer than expected, you leave oscar with your daughter. when you come home earlier than your husband thought, the cutest scene plays in front of you.

notes. tysm for loving my previous dad!oscar fic!!! this one’s also not proofread but lets pretend like there is not a single mistake in here 😙😙😙

days like this were the hardest, especially with the thought of oscar’s summer break inevitable ending occupying your mind. every year, you wanted to make sure you had spent the maximum time with him and chloe, before parting your ways for a while again. going back to the office, while you were spending the precious time with your husband and daughter, was something you hated, mostly, because chloe was the biggest daddy’s girl on earth. some people might’ve gotten jealous over the fact that they’re not their baby’s favorite parent, but you loved watching oscar interact with chloe.

but honestly, leaving them alone was still a bit of a stressful situation for you and your emotions were all over the place as you tried writing down all the necessary things just in case oscsr forgets, which wasn’t likely to happen, but still — you wanted to be more than sure.

“baby, i know how to look after chloe.” oscar laughed softly, his arms wrapped around your waist as he stood behind, placing a single kiss on your neck. “we’re gonna have much fun today, right, squish?” he asked, when the little girl leaned on his leg, looking up at the two of you with a sweet smile. she nodded eagerly, earning a small chuckle from you.

“i good girl.” chloe replied confidently, wrapping her arms around oscar’s leg, wanting to stay as close to him as possible, despite it was you the one leaving (even if it was for a few long hours). “mommy good girl, too! and daddy good girl, too too!” the two of you had to stifle a laugh as your daughter praised you on being good girls.

a few minutes later, quite a couple of reassuring words from your husband, a few wet, sloppy kisses on your cheeks and a literal push out of the door and oscar was left with your little squish. at first everything was calm, chloe was sprawled out on the carpet, playing with her little’s pet shops collection, making a little voice-over, while your husband was preparing a strawberry smoothie for her.

though, before he knew it, he was dressed in one of your dresses, wearing a plastic tiara on his head with stickers plastered all over his cheeks, while sitting at chloe’s small, colourful table with some of her favorite plushies (a panda named jimmy, a koala named arty [after her favorite uncle], ginny the giraffe and daphne the dolphin).

“c’mon, princess squish, do a spin for daddy.” oscar smiled, watching as his daughter did a spin. he helped her get into her purple tutu dress, put a tiara and a few hair clips in the strands of her blond hair. to make her princess tea party experience even better, he took some of your eyeshadow palettes and put some on her to match her purple dress.

“i so pretty, daddy!” she squeaked happily, doing a little dance. “tea?” she asks as she plops down on her dad’s lap, pouring a pretend tea into his pink cup. “tasty, tasty.” she nodded, taking a sip.

“yeah, you’re my pretty princess, squish.” oscar chuckled, earning himself one of the most beautiful views in the world — his daughter grinning, showing him her baby teeth. your husband couldn’t help but to grin back at her, feeling her little arms wrap around his neck as she went in for a hug.

oscar was a sucker for moment like those, as much as he wished you were there to witness it, he loved spending time with chloe, seeing her grow up every day, noticing those slight changes in the way she constructed her sentences and how the incoherent babbling started to turn into actual words and sentences. he was counting down the days till she was old enough to not tire you out whenever on a flight, so he could see her happy face after a race and to show her the beauties of the world on a free day. god, she was the the most important person in the world for him in a way he could drop everything to make sure she was happy.

his heart ached painfully, every time he was away from you and chloe for longer than a few days and with his hectic schedule. everything seemed to be a lot better, when his lucky charms were next to him.

the princess tea party went on for almost another hour until the princess hosting it started to slowly get tired and tired, snuggling up to him after they finished cleaning everything up. it took them some time, because she had to give each of her plushies a few kisses before placing them in her bed, tucking them in. “you’re such a sweet girl, aren’t you, baby?” he chuckled, watching her as he leaned on the doorframe of her room.

she tilted her head with a tiny smile as she ran towards her dad, unfortunately, she tripped on the edge of the carpet, scraping her knees at the friction as she fell. tears started falling down her cheeks in an instant and oscar’s heart broke in half. he knew accidents happen all the time, but he wasn’t prepared for one involving his daughter, when he was all alone, even if it was just a small scratch.

“shh, hey, what’s with the fuss?” he asked in a calm voice, gently picking her up. your husband placed a few soft kisses on chloe’s wet cheek to calm her down. “s’okay, daddy’s gonna take care of your ouchie.” he reassured as she nuzzled her teary face against his neck, sniffling quietly.

“fait mal, daddy.” she sniffled. oscar was glad that once in a while, your brothers wanted to mess with him and spoke only in french before chloe was born, so he could pick up on what his daughter was saying. hurts.

“i know, squish.” he sighed, gently sitting her down on the couch, telling his baby to sit still, while she tried to wipe away her flowing cheeks. he sprayed antiseptic on her scratches, holding her hand with his free one. a small gasp left his daughter’s lips as the spray coated her ouchies. “such a brave, girl.” he coaxed, placing two band-aids on her disinfected knees (with puppies, of course). when her face was no longer in tears, a sad pout appeared on her lips, making oscar’s stomach turn.

“how about, we make a blanket fort and watch some cartoon before you go to sleep, hm?” he suggested, the pout disappearing in a second, being replaced my a grin. a blanket fort? that sounds super cool. he pulled a few chairs together, putting a blanket on top of it as chloe’s eyes widened in shock and excitement.

the final product was breathtaking, at least for chloe, because oscar did everything he could to make the blanket fort look magical as he put pillows on the floor, put up lights and brought his ipad to play chloe’s favorite movie.

before he knew it, his little girl was curled up against his side, his hand gently moving up and down against her back as her head rested on the side of his chest. her eyes were slowly closing, but she wanted to stay in the fort and he wasn’t in the mood to deal with a tantrum of a sleepy, cranky little girl.

when you came back from work, the apartment looked clean, as if oscar sedated your little ball of energy and hired a cleaning company. that was your thought process, until you noticed a blanket fort in the living room and your heart melted like a chocolate in a water bath. you quietly took off your shoes and tiptoed to the fort, peaking inside. seeing the view completely shattered your heart in the most positive way possible.

“you’re back already?” oscar asked quietly, not wanting to disturb chloe’s sleep as she was laying down on his chest. “thought it’d take a little longer.” he smiled affectionately at you.

“think there’s some room for me?” your mouth curled into a small beam as he nodded, quickly taking a spot next to him, finally noticing that he’s wearing one of your dresses and you had to stiffle a laugh.

oscar noticed your expression and groaned quietly. “we had a princess party.” he explained, though the pretend angered look quickly dissolved, replaced by a playful smile. “your daughter didn’t let me be a prince, so i had to stole one of your dresses. i’ll show you the photos tomorrow morning.” he kissed your temple as you snuggled up closer, your hand gently rubbing chloe’s back.

[unicyclehippo]

flew for the first time in a very long time, since well before covid started, & oh i missed it so much. first, how remarkable an invention a plane is, how clever, how world changing!! it can seem so normal but actually we are FLYING. i looked down on the clouds that look down on me. the sun rose & everything was brilliantly incandescently white. i stared out the window for the entirety of the admittedly too-short flight & cloud spotted—i saw lions & palaces of cloud & a fleet of dolphins breaking out of the waves. mostly it looked like quilting wadding. i love to fly. i love to people watch, i love to cloud watch, i love the clouds, i love the captains & the cabin crew. when i fly i feel like i will never run out of things to love about humans

a short list of things i loved about the two flights i took:

- special shoutout to the cabin crew, ground crew, they’re incredible. literally all the crew i interacted with had the biggest smiles & were so so friendly & helpful. if ur a crew member out there, i love you. huge shout out to the mid 50s (?) hostess on my first flight—short, super sharply put together in the “im a modern witch” kinda way—who had a quip for almost every comment directed her way. the only one i rmbr was when an elderly passenger called her love she replied “how’d you know my name is love? you must be a psychic!”

- all the passengers i saw were calm & unruffled at the least & sometimes very nice! all around me i could hear people meeting & passing with those small human courtesies repeated & repeated—pardon me, d’you mind if i duck past, hey do you need help with your bag, oh mind their head there, where are you headed, can you get by do you need some room, thank you, thank you, thank you, can i help you, can i help you, can i help you

- special shoutout to the passenger w the crying baby. he was such an upset baby & the only thing that calmed him was being walked up & down the aisle over & over. every time he came down the aisle, i saw heads turn toward him & people smiling their baby smiles—exaggerated, kind, often accompanied by a scrunch of the nose or a tiny wave. ‘he doesn’t sound happy poor thing,’ i heard a lot, or things like it, as his dad bounced him in his arms, & then, invariably, help was offered. ‘my mother swears by this trick‘ — ‘my husband does this to calm our kids” — ‘my wife always does this’. the flight was delayed by nearly fifty minutes. no one was allowed out of their seat as we idled on the tarmac except for this unhappy baby & his dad, walking up & down the aisle.

- special shoutout to my seat buddy, who had a wonderful bright yellow backpack with rainbow straps. i have a matching one & told her so. she said it was a whim, on account of the yellow & rainbow. i told her it’s a very durable bag & one of my favourites. there’s a softening that comes with a compliment, a small comment when we meet—it’s an invitation from then on to say whatever little something pops into our heads. are you listening to music? what book are you reading - oh it’s a library book! good on you mate! we gotta use them more. do you know how to get the headphones working—ooh i figured it out. mind if i use your charger, mines not working. hey the refreshments are headed this way did you want anything? are you headed home? my family is in the row in front & she smiles every time they twist uncomfortably to chat through the gaps in the seats. later, as we are waiting to disembark, she confesses she was on the flight before but it was cancelled . you mean i could’ve had more space, i teased. she laughed, apologises. i could have had far worse company…but not by much, i teased a little more, & she laughed harder. get home safe, we say to each other—i don’t know her name, she knows mine just because my mother whispered it through the seats (are you too hot back there? do you have enough leg room? i can’t move the seat but - oh your sister wants me to recline my seat onto you, im going to squish you!). get home safe, i hear echoed by ten more people to their seat buddies as i hurry off the plane. the last is from a smiling crew member (refer back to my first point. i love you crew members).

- a turbaned man held his baby up at the huge windows looking out to the planes. she clung to him for a minute then tried to dive out of his arms, her own spread wide like the wings of a plane, laughing.

- the women having dinner in the food court as we waited for our plane. i was facing away from them & somewhat half heartedly eavesdropping but every now & again they said something so familiar that it may as well have been my own sisters sitting behind me. ‘—don’t hate her but some of the things she says-‘ ‘i know, i know. can she even hear herself? it’s like. so self-centred.’ ‘and she THINKS she’s being the nice one or she wants us to think it? i don’t even KNOW anymore. like, either she’s so conceited she thinks we love everything she does or she knows she’s behaved badly & is enjoying, i don’t know, us not knowing what to say?’ ‘i KNOW. and, like, we have to be honest,’ ‘absolutely,’ ‘but at the same time it’s like. she should know.’ ‘she should KNOW.’ ‘but she doesn’t or she’s pretending not to and im so done.’ i don’t know who you ladies were, i never saw your faces, i wish you all the best with your friend.

- the Intensely Cheerful & Organised Mother who was my seat buddy on flight 1. you were corralling three teen daughters &, from the glimpses of your notebook i caught, were studying for a test on medicine or maybe nursing. i know you were all on your way to see taylor & you were Determined that it was going to be the perfect trip. i have never seen someone work so hard at getting their luggage to fit in the overhead compartments but you managed to find a space for all of it & i applaud you now

i know there’s more but im for bed. basically i love to fly & im so happy to have done it again

[fluentmoviequoter]

I love your writing it's great could you write a Dalton Lambert x reader where the readers a single mom to a one year old chris introduced them and they hit it off so they've been together for 6 months and then before that friends for 6 months so the baby was 6 months old when they got together and is now a year old so Dalton became readers baby's step dad a little and reader and her child go with Dalton to his home for Thanksgiving break and meet his family obviously Cali doesn't really care and is happy to have a sister and niece now and Renia is happy to know Dalton is happy and absolutely loves the reader and her kid and then foster being the teenage boy he is doesn't really care that much but obviously Josh doesn't really like reader cause she's a young mom and is skeptical of her considering the problems he and Dalton have

So sorry for the long wait! I hope this is along the lines of what you wanted. I think this is my longest fic and it covers over a year; I tried to follow your timeline. Thank you so much for the request and the kind words!! Enjoy and let me know what you think! :)

Warnings: fem!reader is pregnant and gives birth (no detail), unnamed child (nickname: Bump), marriage, lots of fluff, some angst towards the end. 3.8k+ words

A/N: The title is from "Come Together" by Aerosmith, which has absolutely nothing to do with the fic, I didn't explain why the reader is a single mom, that's up for interpretation/reader's choice. I also made a very obvious reference to another Ty Simpkins movie.

One and One and One is Three

✵Last October✵

“Dolphin, please!” Chris begs, extending a store-bought Halloween costume.

“I’m not going to another party with you, I’ve learned my lesson,” Dalton responds, crossing his arms.

“Fine.” Chris sighs. “I guess I’ll go by myself, just a poor, defenseless girl, and hope for the best. I thought we were friends.”

Dalton groans as he tips his head back, running a hand through his hair. “Why do you always do this?”

“Because it works. Now go change, we need to go.”

Chris tosses the costume onto Dalton’s bed before walking out.

Dalton takes a deep breath before picking up the bag.

“Iron Man? Really?”

After changing, Dalton meets Chris outside the dorm building, standing silently as she playfully fawns over him. The closer they get to the party, the more Dalton appreciates the cheap piece of plastic covering his face. Maybe he can get through the party and back to his dorm without any incidents this time.

Chris leads Dalton inside the house, greeting people and looking around as she walks toward the kitchen. Dalton hears several other Avengers yelling at him but pretends not to notice them. As he prepares to ask Chris what or who she’s looking for, she stops abruptly, and he nearly runs into her.

“Baby Bump!” Chris yells.

“Chris,” Dalton hisses, concerned he will have to break up a fight. He takes off his mask to prepare.

Chris hugs someone and then steps aside. “Dalton this is Baby Bump. Baby Bump, Dolphin.”

Dalton tells you his real name as you tell him yours. You laugh as you repeat his name and shake his hand.

“You’re…” Dalton begins.

“Pregnant?” you suggest. At the same time, Dalton finishes, “A kangaroo.”

“Oh. Yeah, I’m a kangaroo. And you’re Iron Man.”

Chris interjects to say she’s going to find food. You nod sweetly and smile, sending Dalton’s mind into overdrive as he imagines you looking at him like that.

“Do you like Iron Man? Or did Chris get your costume? She wanted to pick mine, but I vetoed that.”

“Yeah, yeah, Chris picked it. She forced me to come, so I didn’t have much of an option,” Dalton answers.

You nod and smile up at him, making him wish he had the mask back on to cover his warming cheeks.

“You make a very attractive Iron Man if it helps.”

“I’m pretty sure you could tell me I look stupid, and I’d say thank you.”

You laugh, and Dalton thinks it’s the best sound he has ever heard. You look over your shoulder for Chris and shift your feet to find comfort.

“Do you wanna go somewhere else, or sit down? Anything?” Dalton offers, raising a hand toward you slightly.

“Yeah,” you answer with a sigh. “But you stay here, enjoy! Chris should be back soon.”

“Chris isn’t coming back, it’s like her favorite thing in the world to abandon me at parties. So, where to?” Dalton offers his arm, and you loop yours through, smiling as he walks you toward the front door.

“Why did you agree to come?” you ask as you exit the house.

“I’d never let Chris go to a party by herself. This one seems like a decent one, so I’m okay with leaving her.”

“Bad experience with a college party?”

“Frat party the first week.”

You make a sound of agreement. “You’re a good friend.”

“You never told me where you want to go,” Dalton points out, trying to get your attention off of him.

“I’m craving something really weird, so if you want to go home-“

Dalton cuts you off with a dramatic shake of his head. “Let’s get it. How weird can it be?”

✵Last November✵

“What do you guys want for dinner?” Chris asks, looking up from her phone.

“Your favorite concoction?” Dalton suggests, looking over at you, where you’re lying on his bed with your feet up.

“Never going to let me live that down,” you grumble. “I’m pregnant, Dalton, it was a one-time craving, get over it.”

“Yeah, Dalton, give your pregnant best friend a break. You’re so mean,” Chris adds, winking at you quickly.

Dalton rolls his eyes and returns to his drawing, listening to you and Chris discuss what to order. When the two of you decide, Chris places the order and then says she has to finish some laundry before it gets delivered.

“What are you doing for the break, Dalton?”

Dalton abandons his drawing; his interest shifted to talking to you. He sits at the end of his bed and stretches his legs beside yours. “My dad’s coming to pick me up after my last class, so I’ll be with them for Thanksgiving. What about you?”

“I’ll be in labor, hopefully.”

“You’re staying here?”

“Yep. My stuff got delivered to my new apartment yesterday.”

“Need help unpacking?”

You open your mouth to answer, then tense as a contraction seizes you.

“Was that a contraction?” Dalton asks, sitting up as his eyes widen.

“Yeah, just Braxton Hicks. I’ve had more of them this week.”

“If I’m not here, you’ll call when you go into labor, right?”

“Depends on what day it is and how fast it happens.”

Dalton says your name, waits for your full attention, then says, “Call me. No matter what day or time.”

You nod, then raise your hand and allow Dalton to pull you up to a sitting position.

“Bet you never thought one of your best friends in college would be pregnant.”

“I’ll admit, I never thought about it. But I’m glad we’re friends.”

Dalton stands and helps you up the rest of the way, opening the door as you promise to return in time for dinner.

As the door to the bathroom closes, you feel another sharp contraction. Your eyes widen when you realize what’s happening.

Pulling your phone from your pocket, you click Dalton’s name on your favorites list.

“Hey, Baby Bump, did you fall in?” Dalton answers.

“My water just broke.”

You hear Dalton stand and start running. “I’ll be right there.”

“Sorry about dinner.” You exhale sharply as you experience another contraction. The phone beeps as Dalton hangs up.

“Did you seriously just apologize about dinner while you’re going into labor?” Dalton asks as he walks into the bathroom. You see his shoes outside the stall you’re in.

“Yeah.”

“We’ll talk about that later. Let’s get to the hospital.”

From the moment you walk out of the bathroom stall until your little girl is placed in your arms, Dalton’s hand doesn’t leave yours. He wipes your hair from your forehead and tells you every encouraging thing he can think of. Feeling closer to Dalton than ever, you nearly answer ‘Lambert’ when the nurse asks for your daughter’s last name. You decide not to tell Dalton about that, though.

When you finally force Dalton out of your apartment before Thanksgiving break, you promise to keep him updated. Dalton doesn’t tell his family exactly why he keeps checking his phone, but the smile on his face when you send a picture of you and your daughter tells everything they need to know. Even if Dalton doesn’t know yet.

✵Last December✵

“I missed you so much,” Dalton says as he hugs you. “You look amazing.”

“You were gone for a week, Dalton, I look exactly the same.”

“I got Bump some Christmas presents.”

“I’m not sure how I feel about Chris’s nicknames. Actually, really nervous to hear what she calls me now.”

“Oh, I know what she’s planning to call you and I’m getting in on it,” Dalton says with a smile.

“Wait, did you say Christmas presents? She’ll be less than six weeks old; she won’t remember it.”

“But you’ll remember her first Christmas, and you might need some of them.”

You nod and pull Dalton into another hug, whispering, “I missed you, too.”

The door opens, and a handful of gift bags enter before Chris yells, “Merry Christmas, Momma!”

“Oh, no,” you whisper, hiding your face in Dalton’s chest.

“Oh, yes,” he whispers in reply. “Momma.”

✵May✵

“I know something is going on between you two, Momma.”

“Chris, Dalton and I are just friends,” you insist, for the hundredth time.

“He acts like a dad to your kid, more importantly he acts like your husband, and you’re going to sit there and tell me you don’t want more?”

“We’re just friends.”

Chris’s smile grows, and you furrow your brows as you wonder what you said wrong.

“You didn’t answer the question. You want more, don’t you?”

You bite your lip and look over to your sleeping daughter.

Chris leans forward as she says, “Then do something about it.”

“Like what, Chris?” You stand and pace as you explain, “I can’t just tell a guy, who I’ve only been friends with for seven months, by the way, that I’ve fallen in love with him and can’t imagine my life without him. No one wants a girlfriend with a kid, besides It’s bad enough that he stayed by my side while I had a kid and buys her everything.”

“You said no one wants a girl with a kid then immediately said Dalton treats your daughter like his own.”

You wipe your hands down your face as you sit back down. “I can’t lose what we have. Dalton is an amazing guy, but it’s true that girls with kids are less desirable.”

“No, it’s not.”

You jump at the sound of a third voice, looking over to see Dalton standing in your kitchen.

“How long have you been there?” you ask quietly.

“I’m going to give you two some time,” Chris announces, sending Dalton an encouraging nod as she passes him.

Dalton waits for the door to close before he walks over to you, looking at your daughter before meeting your eyes.

“You are not undesirable because you have a kid. You are beautiful, brave, self-reliant, not to mention an amazing mother. Some guy will be very lucky to have you.”

“How much did you hear?” You repeat.

“Just that you think girls with kids are less desirable. Which isn’t true.”

“Really? That’s all you heard?’

“Yeah.” Dalton’s eyes soften as he kneels before you on the couch.

“What’s going on?”

“If I tell you something, and you don’t agree with me or feel differently, can we still be friends?”

Your daughter starts crying, and Dalton rubs his thumb across your cheekbone before standing and picking her up from her playpen. Dalton bounces your daughter and smiles at her until she starts laughing.

“Momma is nervous, but she doesn’t need to be, does she?” Dalton asks in a high voice. He shakes his head dramatically, drawing a laugh from you and your daughter.

Hearing your laugh, Dalton looks over and sees you smiling. He sits beside you, holding your daughter in his lap.

“I’m in love with you. I have been since after that Halloween party, and I just keep falling more in love with you,” you admit, playing with your fingers.

Dalton’s smile grows slowly, and he stands up, spinning with your daughter. “Did you hear that? Momma loves me too! Yeah, she said it! The big l-word, can you believe that?”

You smile as you stand and walk to Dalton’s side. He tucks you under one arm, kissing your temple quickly. “In case my victory lap didn’t make it clear, I love you too.”

“Even though I have a kid?”

“Are you kidding? I love her too. Professor Armagan is convinced she’s my kid anyway.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I drew a picture of her and no matter how many times I try to explain the situation, she swears that it’s my kid.”

“I think she is, too. Maybe not by blood, but you’re the only father she’ll ever know, Dalton. She loves you; no one else gets her to laugh like that.”

“She cried when I walked in,” Dalton states with narrowed eyes.

“To get your attention, Dalton.”

Dalton gasps and looks over to her. “Really? You did all that just for me? Now I’m going to have to spend more time with Momma though.” He lowers his ear like she’s responding, nodding and shrugging to his imagined conversation. “Of course, I’ll still visit you. But I may have to kiss Momma when I come in or take her on a date. I promise we will still be best friends though.”

“I love you,” you whisper, looking into Dalton’s eyes.

Dalton removes his arm from your shoulders and holds up one finger. He sets your daughter back in the playpen, placing her favorite toy beside her before returning to you. Dalton wraps his arms around your waist, and you raise your arms over his shoulders.

“I love you. More than you know,” Dalton whispers.

Dalton tips his head down and kisses you, laughing into the kiss as your daughter squeals happily in the background.

✵October✵

“You two should do a couple’s costume! It is your one-year anniversary,” Chris says as she drags you and Dalton into a costume shop.

“We didn’t start dating until May.”

“But you should have started in October, that’s my point.” Dalton rolls his eyes when you look over at him.

“Joker and Harley?” Chris suggests.

“I like to think I left the psychopath back in the Further,” Dalton deadpans.

“You could have said anything else. Both of you,” you state, shaking your head as you look at the costumes.

“What would you pick?” Chris asks.

“Farmers and a pumpkin,” Dalton answers.

“That was fast. Wait, pumpkin?”

Dalton looks over at Chris, waiting for her to realize the obvious. “Oh! Right. I forgot that you’d want to include her.”

Chris walks to the next aisle, and Dalton returns to you, wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder.

“Find one?”

“I think she’d make a cute Grogu.” You turn in his grasp, smiling as you ask, “Do you still have the Iron Man costume?”

“I think so. Why?”

“Because it looked really good on you. We could do superheroes.” Something catches your eye over Dalton’s shoulders, and your smile widens. “Or we could be the Incredibles.”

When you look back at Dalton, he’s looking at you like no one else exists.

“Or we could get married.”

You pull away from Dalton slightly, looking into his eyes. “Are you serious?”

“Would you want to? This isn’t an official proposal.”

“Of course, I would, Dalton.”

“What’d we pick? Besides PDA?” Chris asks as she returns.

“The Incredibles,” Dalton answers quickly.

“I think Bump has something for you, Momma,” Dalton says as he opens the door to your apartment after dinner.

Lit candles sit on the windowsill, and Chris and your daughter are wearing dresses. You look at Dalton with teary eyes, wondering what’s going on. You kneel in front of your daughter, and she makes grabby hands at a black box on the table.

“Wing,” your daughter cheers.

Chris winks at you before picking up your daughter and carrying her into your bedroom.

As you stand and turn around, you see Dalton kneeling in front of you, the box open to reveal a beautiful engagement ring.

“I love you. I fell in love with you when I first saw you dressed up as a kangaroo, and I can’t live without you. You and your daughter are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I want to spend the rest of my life learning to be a husband and father with you by my side. Will you marry me?”

Tears slide down your face as you nod. “Yes, Dalton, yes!”

He stands, wrapping his arms around your waist and spinning you. You laugh as he slips the ring onto your finger, looking at it quickly before leaning up to kiss him.

“How would you feel about a Halloween wedding? For sentimental reasons,” Dalton suggests.

“Absolutely,” you agree.

Chris carries your daughter out, and she immediately reaches out to Dalton, squealing as he picks her up.

“Momma said yes!” He cheers, pretending to dance with her.

On Halloween, you and Dalton stand in a courthouse with outfits picked by Chris. Chris stands by your side, holding your daughter as you say your vows and marry Dalton Lambert.

As you exit the courthouse, you take your daughter from Chris and hug her close. Dalton silently asks for her, hugging her in the same way.

“You’re stuck with me now,” he whispers before looking at you, “and so are you.”

✵November✵

“Let’s go to my parent’s house for Thanksgiving. You can meet my family, and I know you didn’t get a real Thanksgiving last year,” Dalton suggests.

“I don’t know, Dalton. I mean, do they even know about everything that’s happened? About us?”

“My mom knows, and she really wants to meet you.”

Dalton wraps his arms around you, swaying you gently.

“Okay,” you respond with a nod. “Let’s do it.”

“I’m so nervous,” you tell Dalton as he pulls onto his parent’s street.

“Everything will be fine. They’ll love you; both of you.”

As Dalton parks in the driveway, he squeezes your hand and leans across the console to kiss you. As he pulls back, he sees his mom coming down the driveway.

“Here we go,” Dalton whispers before opening his door.

He hugs his mom quickly before coming around to open your door. After helping you out, Dalton says, “Hey, Bump, what are you doing here?” as he releases the car seat straps.

“Hi, sweetheart, I’m Renai. I’ve heard so much about you!” Renai introduces herself before pulling you into a hug.

“I’ve heard a lot about you too. I’m glad to finally meet you!” You respond before introducing yourself.

“And this is Bump,” Dalton says as he joins you.

“A pretty girl like this deserves a better nickname,” Renai says with a smile.

“Dalton!” Kali yells from the porch.

“I’m going to go become her favorite brother because I have a baby,” Dalton announces proudly before walking away.

Renai gestures for you to join her as she begins walking behind Dalton. “I can’t thank you enough for making Dalton so happy.”

“He’s made me happier than I thought possible.”

You hear someone say your name, phrased as a question, and look up to see Kali sitting with your daughter in the living room.

“Hi. You must be Kali, you’re Dalton’s favorite sister,” you tease before introducing yourself and sitting beside them.

“I’m his only sister,” Kali answers with a laugh. “Is she really my niece?”

“Yes, she is. Is that okay?”

“That’s awesome! Wait, so then you would be?”

“Your sister-in-law.”

“I finally have a sister!” she cheers before hugging you.

You make eye contact with Dalton over Kali’s head, smiling at him.

“Is that the wife?” Foster asks as he walks in.

“Yes,” Dalton answers before telling him your name.

“Cool. Nice to meet you,” Foster tells you before continuing toward the kitchen.

“He’s nice, just weird,” Kali tells you quietly.

“Dalton,” Josh calls as he walks in. He looks over at you, playing with Kali and your daughter. “A word?”

Dalton catches your nervous look and nods at you before following his dad outside.

“He doesn’t like me, does he?” You ask Renai as Kali continues playing with Bump, adopting Chris’s nickname.

“Josh has… trust problems and a lot of incorrect assumptions about single mothers. Give him a little time, and if he says something out of line, please don’t be afraid to put him in his place. As far as I know he means well, but sometimes he goes about things all wrong.” You nod, Josh’s voice becoming audible from outside.

“Would introducing myself make it worse?”

“Sweetheart, I honestly don’t know. I’ve known Josh a long time but even I don’t know what makes him so… Josh. But, feel free. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me to come yell at him.”

You thank her, then slowly approach the back door before stepping outside.

“Dalton, you can’t even tell me why she’s a single mom at her age!” Josh argues.

“I can’t tell you because it’s none of your business,” Dalton explains, with a level voice compared to his dad’s yelling.

“Hi,” you say, drawing their attention. “I know we haven’t actually met, and that you don’t trust me or like me because I have a kid and I was a single mom.” You introduce yourself and extend a hand, awkwardly waiting as he hesitates to shake it.

“My mom was a single mother, and she had so many problems,” Josh begins.

“Mr. Lambert, sorry to interrupt, but I’m not a single mom anymore. I understand your concern that I have a kid and what people could say about Dalton for being with me.”

“Oh, so because you have a boyfriend you aren’t a single mom? You’re already balancing a child and college, what could you possibly offer my son?”

“Happiness,” Renai says as she steps out. “Josh, let them explain before you start biting heads off and making this about you and your mom. I’m going to go finish cooking, and if I hear you yelling again we will be celebrating Thanksgiving without you.”

You lean closer to Dalton and whisper, “Your mom is awesome.”

He chuckles against you before nodding.

“Okay. Please, explain,” Josh tries again, crossing his arms.

You look over to Dalton and nod, allowing him to explain.

“We got married. Almost two months ago,” Dalton answers. “And the last fourteen months have been the happiest of my life. If you have a problem with me, or her, keep them to yourself, Dad. We aren’t here for your approval, we wanted to give you a chance to get to know your daughter-in-law, but if you want to waste that by being stubborn and letting your childhood trust issues get in the way, then that’s your loss. Because this is the most amazing woman I’ve ever met in my life and that little girl in there is my daughter, blood or not.”

Josh drops his arms and nods slowly. “I’ll be honest, I won’t be able to accept this overnight, but if you’re both happy and your lives are going where you want them to, then it’s your decision.” He turns to you and apologizes for yelling.

“It’s okay, Mr. Lambert,” you promise. “I know that trust and respect have to be earned.”

“Call me Josh,” he offers, a small olive branch.

“Food is ready!” Renai calls. “And Bump seems to think her last name is Lambert.”

“Maybe it should be,” you whisper to Dalton as you walk inside.

His eyes widen, and he stops walking before rushing to catch up and ask, “What does that mean? Bump Lambert does have a nice ring to it!”

[reimagine7]

A thing for Aquaman (Kelley O'hara x reader)

This was a request, but I had a tough time writing it and don’t know if I achieved your expectations. It’s a short one. 

Kelley pov

“Hello ladies! My name is Shean and I’ll be one of the instructors that will be guiding you all today.” We were at the Marine Life Rescue center in Florida. The USWNT is combining forces with the Program to help raise visibility to their mission, so we are making a visit and recording some media stuff. A few of us visited the Clearwater aquarium, some went to the beach to see a turtle and a dolphin release. Me, Lindsey, Alex, Sofia, Trinity and Sonnett are in the group that is going scuba diving. 

“So, a quick story before our leader gets here. The Marine Life Rescue Project was created to support the mission and funding to Clearwater Marine Aquarium Research Institute. We believe in preserving our environment while inspiring the human spirit through leadership in the rescue, rehabilitation, and release of marine life. By research, conservation and environmental education of the community. Alone, we can’t do much, so that’s why your visit here is so important for us…” The boy kept talking and my attention quickly was out of it. I poked Alex and asked. “This guy sounds like he is repeating this line for the hundredth time and has zero animation to be here” Alex laughed but kept looking at the boy, Lindsey that was near heard me and answered. “He is cute though. But I don’t know if I’m too excited to enter the water. I think I will rather stay in the boat talking to him.” Trinity, who was also listening to us, spoke. “What? We are scuba diving for free. Why would you want to stay in the boat?” “What if there are sharks in the water?” Lindsey whispered loudly. “That’s the fun part.” Trinity has a smirk on her face. “I don’t think there will be sharks in there. Right?” I tried to calm Linds, but I was not too sure of myself.”  “Don’t worry, the sharks don’t like humans that much. They usually don’t show up. Usually.” A woman whispered behind us, making the girls who were close jump a little as we haven’t seen her before. “Usually?” She just shrugged. “Who are you?” I was the one making the question now. “I’m…” 

“Y/n! You made it. Come here.” The woman winked at us, stood and went up front. “Girls, this is Y/n Y/l/n. She is going to be the lead instructor that will be diving with some of you. Any questions?” Lindsey raised her hand and asked. “Can I stay in the boat?” We all laughed and Y/n answered. “Of course you can, no one will be forced to be down there. But I must warn you that you will be missing a lot.” “Thanks. But I rather stay here than risk being eaten by a shark.” “First, sharks don’t attack like that. That is a huge myth created mostly due to Spielberg's movies. There is a bigger chance of you dying in a plane crash than being eaten by a shark.” Y/n corrected Lindsey, who still didn’t look convinced. “I think I'll take my chances with the plane.” Y/n laughed but before she could say anything the other instructor called her informing that everything was ready on the boat. “We are going. And second…” She interrupted herself by taking off her hoodie, and Oh, dear! She has muscles. God, she is hot. “Second, I know this beach like the palm of my hand. I know these animals and you’ll be safe with me and my team. Don’t worry. Let’s go girls?” With that she walked toward the boat leaving us behind.

We watched her going and I broke the silence “Have anyone else seen those muscles?” “Yeah. You know what Linds, you can stay in the boat. I will dive with her.” Sonnett grabbed her backpack and started her walk to the boat. “Wait. I think I changed my mind. With those arms, I think I will be safe.” Lindsey says following Sonnett. “You know Kells, if you want a chance to stay near those arms you’ll have to run. Sonnett and Linds are thirsty.” Alex laughed at me and we all ran to the boat. 

An instructor started the drive and we all sat in the boat waiting for the boat to stop at the diving spot. “So Y/n, is being this muscular and hot a requirement to being a scuba diving instructor?” She laughed and answered. “If it was Shean over here would be with his days counted.” “Hey! I work out.” “I’m just kidding man. But answering your question, it’s not. But it helps to keep the girls' attention at you when you’re repeating the program instructions.” She winked at me. “I noticed, but don’t know if I paid too much attention to what you were saying, was occupied with something else. Too distracted. I would love to learn more about it.” “Well, unfortunately that isn’t part of the tour but I’m always open to show what those muscles can do some other time.” “I think I know how those muscles work in the gym.” “I imagine, but I wasn’t talking about the gym.” My eyes widened and I stayed speechless. She stood up and started grabbing the equipment.

“Well, as we already pass through instruction on the beach, I won’t repeat them. The only thing I’m reinforcing is to make sure to be close by. This water is normally safe and calm, and you will have the chance to watch the most different species of animals and corals, but your safety is the most important thing here and any caution is too much. Any question?” This time it was Trinity who raised her hand. “How close can we stay to you?” “Can I hold your arms?” Sofia asked. Y/n only laughed and put her backpack on. “Calm down girls, there is enough of me for everyone. Now, who is ready to dive?”

Next thing I know Y/n was helping the girls with their equipment and Alex poked me. “Really Kell? You’re almost drooling over her.” “Can you blame me? Look at those muscles.” “She is more than just that, you know?” “I know, but how can I not want that? She is smart, strong, funny, and hot. She is friends with the fishes, sharks, and almost the whole marine life. She is basically the female Aquaman.” “Kids, why did I have to stay in the kids group?” She walked away and Y/n came near me to help me with the equipment.

“Everything is good?” Y/n asked. “Yep.” “Great. Let's finish our tour then and wish for it to end with a success.” She said finishing tightening the strap. “Success? I thought you said we didn’t have to worry about it.” She looked at me. “You don’t. Not on my part anyway.” I looked at her confused. “What do you mean?” “You know the story, the hero saves the ladies from the sharks and gets the girl in the end.” “Who says you were the hero?” “We are in a small boat Kelley.” A smirk appeared on her face and she went near the edge of the boat. “But don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone you have a thing for Aquaman.” She winked at me and jumped in the water. Oh God, I have a thing for the female Aquaman.

[bayofwolves]

Rereading The Evertree

We've come to the end. I'm finally at the last book of the first arc! Hopefully I can stop explaining what these posts are now, but one more time for anyone unaware: These posts are a compilation of notes taken from my rereads of the Spirit Animals books. They include interesting details, stuff I missed and how I plan to change certain things in my retelling of the series, A Revised History of Erdas. Shall we begin?

"I know you were supposed to be your village's Rain Dancer and all, but can you lighten up on all the dancing?" I know Rain Dancers have to engage in rituals and meditate extensively before they can produce rain, but Abeke influencing the weather with her emotions is a fun idea. Imagine the ceaseless rain is brought down by her pain and sorrow over Shane, Meilin, Tarik and her family.

It definitely feels to me like Tarik was one of the Greencloak leaders, alongside Lenori and underneath Olvan. His role in training the Four Heroes themselves, him having a seat at the table with the other leaders and a place at their important meetings, et cetera... it all seems like his rank was higher than he let on in-text. (Also, my two cents: I would nominate Finn to take his place as the third Greencloak leader.)

"The image of Gerathon's smiling jaws and slithering body disappeared, replaced instead with Rollan's lopsided grin and Conor's encouraging voice, Abeke's clear laugh." I am crying.

The typos in this one are funny. Kalani's dolphin, Katoa, is referred to as female even though he was introduced as male in Against the Tide. And Devin is mistakenly called Devon.

I don't like how Kalani and Rollan made up by completely forsaking the cultural beliefs of Kalani's people. If Hundred Islanders believe something is tapu and want nothing to do with it, they shouldn't be forced to go against that. They already introduced the concept of a ceremony to rid someone or something or tapu (noa), so they could have simply had Kalani perform this for Rollan. I've been saying this, but I'll say it again.

Finn should have been the leader of the Greencloak expedition from the beginning. He already has experience with these kids, and placing him back in a position of authority would be much less likely to spark resentment than a completely new person like Dorian would. Narratively, I do think it was necessary to see more of how Tarik's death affected the Four. But logically...

The Conquerors are monitoring their own people for signs of disloyalty. Interesting.

It seems some records of Stetriolan wildlife survived after all -- Finn knows that the animal who stole their provisions is a dingo. Since it was established earlier that the Greencloaks know next to nothing about Stetriol, I would have liked it better if Abeke was one of their only sources of information. She could use whatever she learned about the continent from Shane and the Conquerors to help guide them in their quest. And she identified a dingo in Against the Tide, so she could have done the same here instead of Finn.

Strange how the party just left the dead horse behind and continued on, instead of using it for meat. Between the meat from the horse and the water bulbs Abeke found, they would have been set to last for even longer.

Abeke swinging up onto her horse's back reminds me of that scene in Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers where Legolas does that crazy mounting technique. I'm willing to bet that was done on purpose; both characters are great archers, after all.

Shane's intense reaction to Gerathon entering his mind must mean that this is the first time she has controlled him. It makes sense, given that she probably wanted to make him feel like he was the one in charge. Oh, what I would give to get inside Shane's head during this battle.

Gerathon forcing Shane to aim for Abeke specifically was definitely intentional. Her method of reading people and then turning them against the ones they love the most is the highest form of torture.

I know I've mentioned that Sundown in Rise and Fall may be my favourite chapter in all of Spirit Animals, but Duel is a strong contender, too. The contrast between the raw pain and rage of Duel and the peacefulness, the gentleness, the emotional vulnerability of Sundown is incredible. It makes sense why both are so close to my heart; they go together, hand in hand. You can't have one without the other.

Everything I read about the Four Heroes' travels is telling me that Erdas is a remarkably small planet.

Conor is sorely mistaken about the crater around the Evertree being caused by an ancient volcano. Additionally, when Abeke later sees a vision in the sky of how the world came to be, including the birth of the Evertree and the Great Beasts, there is not even a hint about the Wyrm. It makes me wonder if the authors had conceived of the Wyrm's landing at this point (or if they were purposefully covering up this plot point to surprise the readers).

Only the Great Beasts know the location of the Evertree. I wonder how it has remained hidden to the rest of the creatures on Erdas. Surely there are tribes living in southern Nilo, yes? It would be cool if the Great Beasts were able to conceal it with their combined magic, making the crater and everything inside it invisible to the human eye.

The Evertree bears fruit! Its description of "pure white" and, well, the fact that it comes from the Evertree itself makes me imagine it has magical properties of some kind. What could this fruit bestow upon you if you were to eat it? Good health? Eternal life? If humans knew how to find the Evertree, I'm sure wars would have been waged over this very question. (It could have made for an interesting storyline if Shane had managed to steal one of the fruits before he fled. Perhaps he would eat it, perhaps sell it, perhaps keep it to look at. I imagine it would stay fresh even after being plucked and never spoil.)

In ARHoE, Arax appears at the Evertree with a broken horn from when Barlow threw him off the cliff. Just a cool detail I thought to mention.

Tellun sacrificing himself is supposed to be seen as a noble act, but at a closer look it actually works against our protagonists. Kovo has made his intent to rule the whole world quite clear. While the Great Beasts dying might sadden him, it won't stop him. By taking themselves out of the battle, Tellun and the first few are leaving it all up to a bunch of kids (warriors, yes, but still kids) to bring down this age-old, godlike gorilla, instead of using their combined might to stop him and save the world they swore to protect. If Tellun had learned something from the last Great War and decided to fight this time, aided our heroes in driving Kovo into the Evertree and died in the process, it would have been so much better! On the flip side, though, it could be read as a testament to how selfish the Great Beasts actually are -- how they are shown time and time again to care more about themselves and their talismans than upholding their oath.

I would have preferred it if the brief moment when the Four Fallen appear as Great Beasts once more happened at the Evertree and not Muttering Rock. Like, if being in the presence of the tree that created them temporarily restored them to their old forms. Great Beast-sized Briggan, Uraza, Jhi and Essix fighting Kovo, Gerathon and Halawir with the rest of their brethren, a more hopeful and heartbreaking rendition of their last battle all those years ago, would have been amazing.

Something about Shane presumably fleeing further into Nilo, home of the friend he betrayed, and perhaps wandering there a while in the wake of his defeat... and many months later, Abeke restoring her bond with Uraza in Stetriol, home of the friend she forgave. Everything is connected.

Wow. This was a powerful finale -- high stakes, epic final battle, emotional climax, descriptions I could see in my mind's eye. There were quite a few things I didn't like about this one, though. Outside of what I've already mentioned: The ending should have been heartwarming, and for the most part it was, but Abeke reconciling with her abusive family soured it for me. I wish the Four had reconvened with Finn, Maya, Kalani and the rest of their party at some point, instead of them vanishing in the middle of a battle and never being heard from again. And once again, I protest the exclusion of Irtike! Aside from all that, though, The Evertree was a great read and a solid conclusion to arc one of Spirit Animals. There are a lot of loose ends to be tied, but for now, the war is over, and our protagonists can finally breathe.

It's been a good run. I plan to take a short break here, but I'm excited to turn the page and begin a new arc soon!

This is part of an ongoing series.

Wild Born | Hunted | Blood Ties | Fire and Ice | Against the Tide | Rise and Fall | The Evertree

Immortal Guardians | Broken Ground | The Return | The Burning Tide

Heart of the Land | The Wildcat's Claw | Stormspeaker | The Dragon's Eye

Tales of the Great Beasts | The Book of Shane | Tales of the Fallen Beasts

[noonaishere]

Music of the Heart [J.YH] - eighty-eight | being kind is punk

Owing to some cola stains in the carpeting - and the carpet color being a color that was no longer used in the offices - the building manager, upon inspecting the room that would become your studio, decided that it was the rare moment in a building manager’s career where he would be able to change a rooms decor without having to inconvenience the person using it by kicking them out for a while. You didn’t mind, the idea of soda sitting in the rug for a while made you worried there might be bugs in or under the carpet, and since the other members of Crom3r were dealing with the emotional residue of their ex-producer, you didn’t want to deal with physical aspects, in the sense of suddenly finding pests in your private studio years down the line. As it was, you and Yujin were beginning your bass lessons in a lesson room you were given use of, until your studio was ready.

Yujin took out her bass and plugged it in and got comfortable in her seat. She watched you as you, bass in your lap, flipped through what you had prepared.

“Ooooookay. Did you go over what I gave you?”

“Oh!” She leaned over and took the folder you gave her out of her backpack. In the time between when you gave it to her, and her showing up for her first lesson now, she had covered it in stickers.

As she opened it to look for something, you read one outloud, red text over a picture of Karl Marx:

“‘Dude, I fucking warned you, I fucking told you bro.’”

“Oh!” She said, realizing what you were reading. “I’m sorry--”

You laughed. “Don’t be. The man was right.”

She laughed awkwardly. “It’s such bullshit that he was right so long ago, and we’re still doing shit he critiqued… or worse.”

“You’re right about that.” You pointed to another sticker, “I also like the Lisa Frank dolphin next to the classic ‘Unionize’ fish poster.”

She looked at it and laughed. “I was going for a theme.”

You smiled. “I like it.”

She nodded awkwardly. “So… I went over the self-test,” she fished it out of the folder.

“How’d you do?”

“Um… I mean, I haven’t been playing that long, so I didn’t get very far.”

You took it from her and looked at her notes: what had been easy, what had been difficult, and the blank expanse of the second half denoting what she didn’t even bother trying at all.

“I’m sorry.”

You looked at her. Her brows were furrowed together in worriment, maybe she felt she had failed you or failed herself before she even got a chance to start. You smiled a small smile. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Wha-- isn’t it bad that I couldn’t finish it all?”

“Not at all. This was just to let me know what level we were starting at. I never thought you were a prodigy, and even if you were, I’d still have to know so I would know what to teach you.”

She thought for a moment and nodded.

“Okay? This was just for me to know where to start. That’s all it is.”

She nodded again. “Okay.”

“Okay? I’m not mean, I promise.”

She laughed softly.

“I had a really mean violin teacher when I was a kid, and I can promise you: I’ll never treat you the way they treated me, okay?”

Her eyes widened. “How mean were they?”

“Hmm…” How much did you want to explain? “He made me practice scales - at increasing speeds - until my fingers bled. And he made me practice bowing until I had to have an ice pack on my wrist, because the nerves were inflamed.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he was a mean guy.”

“Why didn’t your mom do something about it?”

“Well…” you weren’t sure how much to say without starting a huge conversation. “She didn’t see a problem with it.”

She gasped.

You raised your eyebrows in shock.

“That’s not punk rock.”

You laughed loudly. “I don’t think they were trying to be punk rock.”

“Being mean isn’t punk. Being kind is. Look--” she searched her folder for a moment for a white on black sticker that said ‘Being kind is punk’. “See?”

You chuckled. “Well I definitely agree with that. But, he and my mom were old farts, so they weren’t too concerned with being punk. Or kind.”

She frowned.

“But we don’t have to worry about them anymore. I haven’t seen them in years.”

“Good. They shouldn’t be known, if they treated you like that.”

You laughed. She was very decided for someone so young. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing your younger self, but if that younger self was allowed to be who she was, instead of having to hide. You shook off the feeling; you were supposed to be teaching bass, not getting emotional.

“So, I have something new for you,” you handed her a paper. It was a list of songs you’d be teaching her, along with the techniques that went with being able to play them:

Songs:

--Simple Money - Pink Floyd Back in Black - AC/DC Feel Good Inc - Gorillaz Funkenstein - Parliament Low Rider - War Good Times - Chic Give It Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers

--Medium Come As You Are - Nirvana My Sharona - The Knack Lust for Life - Iggy Pop Can’t Stop - Red Hot Chili Peppers Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division I Want You Back - Jackson 5

--Complex Giant Steps - John Coltrane Roundabout - Yes Hysteria - Muse Wynona's Big Brown Beaver - Primus Killing in the Name Of - Rage Against the Machine Portrait Of Tracy - Jaco Pastorius Playing God - Polyphia G.O.A.T. - Polyphia Hemispheres - Rush YYZ - Rush Schism - Tool 46+2 - Tool

--Slap Bass Fun Zone! Alright - Jamiroquai Higher Ground - Red Hot Chili Peppers Earthquake - Graham Central Station Get on The Floor - Michael Jackson Guerrilla Radio - Rage Against the Machine Aeroplane - Red Hot Chili Peppers Emergency on Planet Earth - Jamiroquai

--Holy Blisters, Batman! Mr Pink - Level 42 Come on My Selector - Squarepusher

--Boy, Do I Love Practicing! Classical Thump - Victor Wooten

Her eyes went wide. “I… have to learn… all of these?”

You raised a brow at her. “Yes, right now.”

“What?”

You laughed. “Obviously not right now. This is for however long it takes for you to learn each song. We’ll start with one, and when you can play it correctly - and confidently - we’ll go onto the next one.”

“Oh…” she stared at the list.

“If there’s songs you like and really want to learn, we can add them too. These are just songs I think are good to learn to help you become a good bass player.”

She nodded, eyes still on the list. You took her silence as meaning you could keep talking.

“So I tried to organize them into easy, medium and hard, but really it’s more a scale of simple to complex? Like the techniques don’t change, but the bassist is using more techniques together or doing them faster or going from one to the other faster, and that makes it a little harder to play.”

“…Why does it say ‘Slap Bass Fun Zone!’?”

You laughed. “Because a lot of people like slap bass, ‘cause, you know, it makes da funny noises. So I added a bunch of songs that were good for practicing it.”

She nodded.

You let her look at the list some more. Did she know all the songs? Was she confused? Should you ask?

“‘Holy Blisters, Batman!’?” She asked.

“Those are really fast slap bass songs. And ‘Classical Thump’, the only song in its category, is a practice song that Victor Wooten wrote and later recorded for an album. It gets complex but we can take it slow.”

She nodded. “Why is there a Michael Jackson song?”

“His bassist, Lewis Johnson, was nicknamed Thunder Thumbs: absolute madman. You should look up concert footage of him when you get a chance.”

She nodded again. “Higher Ground? Isn’t that a Stevie Wonder song?”

You nodded. “Good eye. You're more than welcome to listen to the original, but the Red Hot Chili Pepper cover is a really good instance of slap bass because their bassist, Flea, puts a lot of juice into it. A lot of zest. A lot of… pizazz-- why are you looking at me like that?”

She looked from you to the list quietly. “Do you really listen to all of these groups?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You listen to so many things. I want to be like that.”

You felt like you were going to cry. Other people rarely complimented your wide musical tastes, and whenever someone did, it always made you a bit emotional. Even if you didn’t show it.

“Well, you know,” you started. “Just look for new things all the time, and you, too, can have a music player with a terabyte microSD in it that’s half full.”

She looked up from the list in shock. “Wha-- literally? Half full?”

“Yep.”

“You have that much music?”

“Mhm. Most of them are FLAC files so, you know, bigger than MP3s.”

“Yeah, but they sound so much better.”

You smiled and nodded. “It’s definitely worth sacrificing the space for.”

“Wow… that’s my new goal. I also want to be a person who listens to that much music.”

You laughed. “Let’s start with these songs and you can listen to their other songs, and bring me whichever ones you want to learn.”

She nodded emphatically. “How long do I have to learn each one?”

“How long? What do you mean?”

“I only have so long to learn them, right?”

You looked at her, confused. “Who told you that?”

“Well… we have to learn everything super fast, don’t we? Or they won’t let us debut.”

“Wha-- who said that?”

“Theo’s friend at another company.”

“Oh… at another company.” You nodded.

She looked at you, confused.

“Yujin, Wonderland won’t force you to debut if you aren’t all ready for it.”

“Oh… really?”

“Of course. At the very least, if we debuted you and you hadn’t practiced enough, *we’d* look bad, but I’m sure the CEO doesn’t want to put you all on a stage if he doesn’t think you’re ready for it yet.”

She nodded. “We met him when we signed our contracts.”

“What’d you think?”

“He was nice.”

“He helped me make your lesson plan.”

“Really?”

“Mhm. And if he can take that much care with making sure you’re learning what you need to learn, I don’t think he’ll force ONiiX to debut when you’re not ready. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now… What you really want is to be able to play these correctly and in time, and it’s not weird if you want to practice a particular part over and over.”

“Do people do that?”

Your eyebrows ticked up in concern. “What do you mean?”

“Do people practice a part of a song a lot?”

You looked at her for a second, a small smile snaking across your lips as you tried to suppress a laugh. “Um… Yujin, what do you do when you practice?”

She shrugged. “I listen to a song and try to play it.”

“You play it by ear?”

“Yes?”

You nodded.

“Is that bad?”

“No, if you’re playing the song right then it means that your ability to detect pitch is good.”

“I… it doesn’t always sound good though. When I play”

You nodded. “Why don’t you play me a song you feel you know well, and we’ll see.”

She looked at the list. “Um, I know this one,” she pointed to the list.

“Back in Black?”

“Yeah. My dad likes it.”

“Okay,” you took the paper from her and put it on the table. “Go ahead and play it, and I’ll see what you mean.”

The song itself, if it had been played completely correctly and in time, was a little over four minutes. It took more than that for Yujin to play it as it was riddled with mistakes and her rhythm was a little all over the place. Part of the reason for that was, when she’d make a mistake, she’d become frustrated, yell at herself under her breath, and then trip over herself as she tried to fix it.

You watched, keeping your expression neutral, so she wouldn’t react to you and further become frustrated.

When it was over, she looked at you. “...Yeah.”

You nodded.

“We’re…” she whispered, “we’re going to be able to debut, right? Bibi is a really good singer, and Soul is an expert drummer, and Theo is such a good guitarist… I don’t want to disappoint them if I can’t keep up…”

You smiled softly. “You’re going to debut.”

Her brows furrowed, creasing over the bridge of her nose; she didn’t believe you.

“For one thing, you have me on your side. And you heard me play, so…”

“I guess… Am I really bad?”

You sighed. “You’re not terrible… you’re just a beginner.”

She frowned.

“And I have to say, for someone who’s just starting out to already have a band and a record label?” You whistled long. “Not bad. I wish I could have done that at your age.”

Her frown subsided a little. “What were you doing at my age?”

You guessed you could tell her. “Hiding my bass at a friend’s house and only practicing on the weekends because my tyrant mother wanted me to play violin instead.”

Her eyes widened in shock. “You’re lying.”

You laughed. “I wish I was.”

She thought for a moment. “Your mom sucks. Ah--!”

You laughed loudly.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You shouldn’t be, you’re right.”

“My mom says I sometimes talk without thinking. It gets me into trouble sometimes.”

“Well, you’re not in trouble now because you’re totally right. She does suck, that’s why I don’t talk to her anymore.”

She nodded.

“But!” You clapped your hands together. “You’re not me. You don’t have to teach yourself secretly: you have a really cool bass teacher who can get your skills to where you need them to be. Okay?”

She nodded, a little more hopeful.

“So, one of the first things you need to learn is how to practice.”

“How?”

“Mhm. So there’s this guy, he’s a guitarist, but if you want to see a good representation of someone practicing by themself, you can look up Tim Henson from Polyphia - I put a couple of their songs on there - he streams his practice sessions sometimes and you can see how he goes about thinking about what he wants to practice, how he treats himself; he doesn’t get mad, he just does the part again until he finally gets it.”

She took a pen out of her backpack and wrote his name down on the song list. “Just-- over and over?”

“Yep. Breaking it down into smaller parts and working on it until he has it, maybe he tries it slower to figure it out, but then he puts the pieces together and plays it at full speed, and what do you know? Now he can play it.”

She nodded.

“‘Start slow, play it well, then get faster.’ Mark King who has a song in the ‘Holy Blisters, Batman!’ section of the paper said that. Paraphrased.”

“Ugh… I don’t want to play slow though. I hate slow songs.”

You laughed. “Did you come into the world knowing how to use chopsticks and a spoon? Or did you eat with your hands first and learn the other stuff later?”

She opened her mouth to protest but thought better of it. “I guess you’re right.”

You smiled. You remember being like that, but at least you didn’t have to respond like how your teacher did.

“Slow doesn’t mean boring, though. But the only way to play something really well when it’s fast, is to play it extremely well when it’s slow. You get the pacing of the notes down right when you play it slow, and then you can gradually speed up until you play it at full speed.”

She nodded.

“I’ll get you a metronome from the company and make you some drills so you can get better at rhythm too. As the bassist, rhythm is the thing that you and the drummer do and you have to do it well.”

“I want to do solos sometimes though.”

“And you will, but your rhythm needs to be on point for the rest of the song because, when you pick up the bass, that’s the job you give yourself.”

You tilted your head as you looked at her. She was doing a lot of nodding and quiet contemplation.

“So:” You said with a smile.

She looked up.

“Let’s go over that song again, and I’ll teach it to you.”

  previous | main cast | masterlist | next

a/n: Do we like Yujin? Do you know what her name is from? 😏

Send an ask or leave a comment if you want to be added to the tag list! 🎵 Any comments, reblogs, or asks are appreciated! I love talking with you guys and seeing what you’re saying about the chapters, it keeps me going 🥰

@luvvvx • @iamthehotdemon • @hrts4hanniehae • @rachs-words • @stayatinykatsy • @anythingrelatingtojinyoung​

[twistedroseytoesy]

"There are many perks to marine biology"

I really enjoy your headcanons of specific sea creatures as merpeople! The little details and facts just make them so much more interesting! My current favorite is the vampire squid!

If your time is free and you are willing, would you mind perhaps Octavinelle with a box jelly fish or orca? Obviously it's your choice, but these specific two are just very interesting to me.

Since I had a few other jelly asks, ima go for the orca. also kinda struggled to make these very long due to the Orca mer being a bit more on the mean side.

a bit mean but incredibly smart. The wolves of the sea in how they work best in packs.

Description

you were a large mer, with black skin and white patches along your large strong body. your large body and pack working to hunt down larger prey, from seals to even some fishing boats. You loved being with your pack and whenever you were with them you loved to play with the smaller creatures around you. From messing with other dolphin mers to taunting smaller prey mers and watching them hide away.

When you got your legs you were still incredibly strong and liked to push others around. You were a staggering 7 feet tall and had Vitiligo patches that resembled your black and white skin from your merform. If anyone tried to make fun of you for your spots though they would be beaten senseless. You made quite the reputation for yourself in savanaclaw and with others. You were incredibly strong and smart, very few stood up against you.

Octavinelle

Azul: He HATED you, you reminded him of other mers that picked on him growing up. It didn't help that when he did try to con hire you, you started to tease and mock him. So with the near bullying, he set out a way to get some blackmail on you and get you to work for him otherwise risk expulsion. You both had quite the rivalry. When he overblotted you were somewhat taught the error of your own ways too, just seeing how your action affected others kinda was like a slap to the face, you didn't change much but you did ease up on the bullying. You two were very awkward around each other but eventually became good acquaintances.

Jade: Thought you were fairly easy prey to get into the lounge as a stronger worker. A bit miffed at how angry and physically violent you became. Enjoyed finding blackmail on you for Azul and liked watching you squirm as you were cornered into working for the lounge. Found even greater joy in seeing you struggle under the work he put you through. Even snuck in some experimental mushroom dishes for you to try, you'll probably be fine~ Liked to watch what made you tick and laughed with Floyd at how you and azul struggled to get along after the overblot incident. Kept you at an arm's length and as a work acquaintance, wich was more than fine by you.

Floyd: Called you Orca. Teased and poked at your unique spots. he got a good slap to the face and laughed at you and that made you angrier. He liked poking fun at you since you would get so angry with him. You were very fun to play with and you didn't go easy on him so he wasn't easy on you either. Crazy enough you both started to have fun during these games and started messing with others too, it was like you were back with one of your pack buddies! You both were now the scariest people in the school so congrats I guess? messed with you when you were both working and laughed at you and Azul's rivalry turned awkward friendship. Still likes to drag you around to play with him and mess with some rude fishies.

Realized I forgot about merform stuff, they are all fairly impressed with your size and strength. jade liked to poke and prod at you. Floyd liked when you launched him or played just as violently with him, obviously you would both stop if there was any blood though. Azul stayed away from you as you teased him with the tweels about how you enjoyed octopus.

[nickeverdeen]

hi!!! can i please request a hunger games/ballad of songbirds and snakes matchup? i’m bisexual & use she/her pronouns :)

for my personality, id say im pretty bubbly and excitable. i’m an isfj & cancer, & i try to look on the bright side and try to listen to/help when they’re sad. im very affectionate with the people im close to, and i tend to cling onto my friends arms and hug them a lot. i love anything soft or cute, especially animals!! im kinda scared of bugs though, but i still always try to take them outside. i get distracted pretty easily, and have a hard time dealing with change. i tend to be a bit bossy and unreasonable when it comes to something i’m interested in. plus i get really moody and irrational sometimes when it comes to something i want (im very stubborn lol). i also really like going for walks, shopping, yoga, baking (even though i’m dreadfully awful at it), and reading. i like complimenting strangers, and i try to see the best in everything & everyone! though i can’t really tolerate it if somebody is overly cruel or rude to the people i care about. i have a very “do no harm, take no shit” mentality :)

for my appearance, im 5’1 & have fairly long light brown hair. my eyes are hazel, im fairly pale with a few freckles sitting across my face, & my cheeks are perpetually rosy andjfjjek. my style is usually pretty soft & girly, & i really like dressing up even if i’m not going anywhere. i also really like to do makeup, both on myself and others. also since i’m on the shorter side, i like to wear platform shoes since being tall makes me feel cool!

thank you!! have a nice day <3

Your The Hunger Games match is…

Finnick Odair

Finnick would absolutely adore your affectionate nature

He would find your tendency to cling to his arm or give him frequent hugs endearing and reassuring

Given your love for animals, Finnick might introduce you to sea creatures he’s familiar with from District 4

He'd love seeing your eyes light up at the sight of dolphins or seals

Finnick would be fascinated by your gentle and bubbly personality, often saying that it’s your kindness and optimism that are truly disarming

He’d love to see you in your soft, girly outfits, always complimenting you on how cute and put-together you look

Finnick would take you on long, romantic walks along the beach, holding your hand and talking about life, love, and everything in between

Finnick would tease you in a loving way about your fear of bugs, but he’d always be there to save you from them

While you have a "do no harm, take no shit" mentality, Finnick would be fiercely protective of you, especially if anyone was rude or cruel towards you or your loved ones

You two would have playful competitions in swimming, with Finnick always giving you a head start and pretending to struggle just to make you laugh

Even though you’re not the best at baking, Finnick would enjoy cooking with you

The kitchen would always be filled with laughter and playful food fights

Finnick would be incredibly supportive during your moody or stubborn moments, knowing exactly how to soothe you with gentle words or a comforting embrace

Finnick would initiate “compliment battles” with you, where you both try to out-compliment each other

He’d often win, but you’d never mind

Finnick would surprise you with ocean-themed gifts—like seashell jewelry or a bottle of sand from his favorite beach in District 4

He’d occasionally write you short poems or love notes, leaving them for you to find in unexpected places like your handbag or on your pillow

Finnick would appreciate your ability to see the best in everyone and would often seek your perspective on people, finding comfort in your bright outlook on life

Your The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes match is…

Sejanus Plinth

Sejanus would deeply appreciate your ability to listen and offer comfort. He’d often turn to you for solace when he’s feeling down or conflicted.

Given your love for reading, Sejanus would love spending quiet evenings reading with you

He’d enjoy going on morning walks with you, often in the Capitol’s parks, where you both can talk while enjoying the fresh air

Sejanus would find your affectionate nature incredibly soothing, and he’d reciprocate with gentle touches, hand-holding, and hugs whenever you need them

Even though you’re not the best at baking, Sejanus would find joy in trying to bake with you, laughing together at your collective mishaps and the delicious mess you create

Sejanus would be fascinated by your style and would encourage you to explore Capitol fashion, perhaps even helping you create extravagant looks just for fun

Your shared intolerance for cruelty would make you both a strong duo in standing up for what’s right

Sejanus would love your compassion for all creatures, including your attempts to save bugs

He’d often help you relocate them outside, finding it adorable

Sejanus would be incredibly patient with your moods, offering a calm presence and understanding whenever you’re feeling irrational or stubborn

He’d enjoy going shopping with you, not just for the fun of it, but because he enjoys seeing how happy it makes you to find the perfect outfit or accessory

Sejanus would love making you laugh, often telling you silly jokes or recounting funny stories from his childhood

Your presence would encourage Sejanus to embrace change and to look on the bright side, helping him grow as a person and become more optimistic

Sejanus would cherish soft, cozy evenings in with you, where you both can relax, talk about your day, and simply enjoy each other’s company without any distractions

——————

Tag List: @callsignwidow

[ellaenchanting]

Hypnovember 2023 Day 2: Brain Drain

I have committed Our Flag Means Death fanfiction! I am so sorry. Stede/Ed, Ed/Izzy, somehow happy poly and happy metamours making a lovely vee. Takes place in some AU season 2 where the last arc of the season never happened. Izzy is living his best happy masochist life.

Author knows fuck all about ships.

Izzy had gotten much more comfortable spending time with his shipmates since the Calypso's birthday incident.

There was nothing like a round of torture to bring a crew together, he thought.

Tonight the whole group had gathered in the galley under the ship, laughing and chatting long past when they usually went into their quarters for the evening. The sea had been calm that day and the mood was social. Everyone seemed quite relaxed.

Only two members were missing.

Oluwande looked up from his cuddle pile with Jim and Archie. He seemed to have read Izzy's mind. "Hey," he called out to the gathered group, "Has anyone seen the captains this evening?"

"No!" a few people responded.

"Thank God," snarked Black Pete. "Blackbeard...well Ed has been freaking me out. Yelled at me earlier about trimming the sails and you KNOW I keep them the trimmest, babe," he said to his partner Lucius.

"Yeah, he snarled at me when I told him 'hello' earlier," said Archie. "Like this!" She contorted her face into a frankly over-the-top grimace. "Made me nearly jump out of my skin. I may have heard him yell at some seagulls too? Or dolphins?"

Roach looked worried. "Neither captain has come down for dinner, yet," he said.

"Perhaps they are...occupied in the captain's quarters," speculated Izzy.

"Oh? Feeling left out, are you?" joked Frenchie, the little shit. Izzy tactfully ignored him.

Roach replied, still concerned. "Captain Stede will usually come down and request provisions in advance if they're having a long night alone," said Roach. "Thinks he's being sneaky, says they need extra energy 'for planning raids.'"

"My room is below theirs. Trust me, they've not been buggering today," piped up Wee John. "Unless they've learned to be much more quiet about it."

"Maybe they've gotten into a spat and someone's gotten pushed off the ship," spat Lucius. "That'll happen with him, you know."

"OK, that's enough," said Izzy, trying to regain control over the situation as everyone began to talk at once. "You're like gossipy fishwives, all of you. I'll go check on the captains. Make sure Bonnet's not running the ship into a cliff or something."

Izzy climbed up the stairs and started to look around the ship. Ed and Stede weren't in the captain's quarters (being quiet for once). There was no sign of them on the deck. He even craned his neck up to the bird's nest and checked. No captains there.

He finally spotted them at the back of the ship- on a little bit of the stern mostly hidden from view. They were both sitting facing out at the ocean. From a distance, Izzy could see Stede's arm was bent around Ed's shoulder, his hand occasionally reaching up to rock Ed's drooped head into slow, almost imperceptible little circles. Aside from the rocking, Ed's body was remarkably still. It was a huge change from the tense, coiled menace that Ed's frame had carried earlier in the day. Now, he looked almost like a puppet with his strings cut, only responding to Stede's guidance. His arms rested gently besides his legs, lax and pliant.

Izzy could hear Bonnett speaking in a low, soothing voice near Ed's ear but he was too far to make out any words.

Ed had mentioned mesmerism to Izzy before. It was one of the many upperclass daliances that Bonnet had introduced him to- one of those many trifling hobbies that Izzy would never begin to understand the appeal of. Izzy even knew that Bonnet had used his skills on Ed previously. His captain confided that Bonnett's fancy mesmerism routine had helped him find quiet during his not-infrequent emotional storms, that it evened out his seemingly uncontrollable highs and lows. In Izzy's mind, he had pictured the whole thing looking quite comical- Bonnett with wiggly fingers staring daggers into Ed's eyes (maybe with rays), Edward swooning and fainting away in response like a lady whose corset was too tight.

This was quieter than what he had pictured. Gentle. Intimate, even. As he looked over at the scene, he had the sudden feeling that perhaps he shouldn't intrude.

He began to walk away when Stede turned his head and look directly at him. Izzy froze for a moment, unsure what to do. Stede quietly waved him over to where the couple was sitting.

As Izzy approached, he began to get a closer look at Ed's face. His eyes were closed and his face relaxed. His chest slowly rose and fell with each breath. As he come closer, he noticed Ed's eyes were making little flickers underneath his eyelids like he was dreaming.

Izzy wondered what dreams were happening below those lids.

Ed's brows furrowed a bit as Izzy came closer, picking up the noise.

Stede stroked a reassuring hand through his hair. He spoke in his ear, this time loud enough so Izzy could hear: "Shhhhhhh sweetness. It's OK. Relax. You're not in charge right now, remember? Just rest."

Ed's expression immediately cleared. He let held breath with a sigh.

"Izzy's here," Stede continued. "He and I are going to have a chat for a bit. But you don't have to pay attention to that right now, ok? Just drift. Why don't you see how deep you can count yourself down for me while we talk? I'll be right here. I'll touch your leg when it's time for you to listen to me again, ok?"

Ed gave a slight, dreamy nod. His lips barely moved as he began to count silently.

Seemingly satisfied, Stede gestured for Izzy to sit and moved over closer to him.

Izzy sat down, still staring at Ed's lax face. Somehow that by itself was just fascinating. Ed seemed so vulnerable and bare right now. Izzy wasn't sure if he should feel honored or spooked.

"He had a bad day," Stede said gently, nodding over to their entranced boyfriend. "You know how he gets. He needed out of his head for a bit."

Izzy DID understand how Ed got- probably more than his dandyish captain ever would. Hopefully more that Stede ever would, he corrected himself. Ed had certainly told his other boyfriend at least a bit about the hurricane that had been his and Izzy's relationship in the past. When times were bad, they had only known how to take their energy out on each other. They bit and snarled and scratched at one another just to drown out all the noise inside. Izzy had always assumed Ed had NEEDED all of that- needed to hurt and make Izzy suffer the same way that Izzy needed to hurt and suffer for him. That's how they worked. That's who they were together.

Since arriving on the Revenge, though, Izzy had seen more and more of the hidden soft side of Blackbeard. The side that enjoyed fancy clothes and fine foods. The side that kissed Stede's cheek sweetly when he didn't think anyone else was looking. The side that, even now, sat loose and drifting and unguarded while his two boyfriends stayed by him and had a chat.

"Can he hear us?" Izzy asked Stede, curiously.

Stede smiled. "He can hear us, he's just..focused elsewhere right now. Mesmerism's not a magic spell, it's more like- a nice version of where Ed's brain goes when he's navigating. Or how he is when he's trying to sniff out a storm."

Izzy was familiar with his captain's tendency to tune everything out while trying to read the sea. He pictured the absolute, unshakeable concentration of his focused gaze. "Only with nice, clear skies?"

Stede nodded. "Only with nice clear skies." He looked fondly at Ed's dreaming face. "No rain. Nothing to worry about right now." He had dropped into a lighter, dreamy tone- and for a moment, Izzy wasn't sure if he was still speaking to Ed or Izzy or even somehow mesmerizing himself.

Izzy had seen many things in his travels. He once heard a street charlatan talk about mesmerism- saying mesmerism somehow balanced out a person's magnetic forces (y'know- whatever magnetic forces were). He wasn't one for all of Stede's little tricks but- he did understand about needing balance.

Izzy had initially misunderstood Ed's relationship to Stede. He worried that the gentleman pirate would make Ed weak. That he would seduce him away. That he would try to turn the great Blackbeard into one of Stede's fancy little gentleman friends. Izzy had been terrified there would be nothing left of the Ed that he loved after Stede was through.

But Ed was still Izzy's Ed, even now. He could still fight and outwit and outmaneuver anyone else on the sea. He would still protect his crew with all the fierceness of his notorious reputation. He and Izzy could still lose themselves in each other- in their old married couple bickering, in their fighting and fucking, in their indulgences of Ed's sadism and Izzy's corresponding masochism. It just- felt more controlled now. Izzy no longer wondered if Ed actually hated him or if he was just looking for someone convenient to break. He no longer worried that Blackbeard would maim him so badly that he couldn't look after the crew. Even when Ed hurt him now- and he WOULD still hurt him, Stede didn't magic that part away- Izzy was always rewarded with a kiss and some praise afterwards. "That's so good, Izzy. You did so well for me," he would say. Edward seemed so much stronger in these moments now- able to control his own fierceness and use it as a weapon- but also to hold Izzy as he fell apart for him.

Izzy looked over at Ed's quiet countenance- so different than before. It was otherworldy seeing him this serene and distant. He had a sudden desire to protect this version of Ed- Stede's gentle Ed. To keep him safe. A mad, possessive impulse made it to Izzy's mouth before he could stop it.

"Can I touch him?" he asked. "Like this?"

Stede looked surprised. "By touch, do you mean....?"

"His face, Bonnet" Izzy replied, snarkily. "Or his hand or something. His hair. Not going to wank him off on the deck, now am I?"

Stede bit back a laugh. He leaned over to gently touch Ed's leg.

Ed reacted with an almost imperceptible startle before gently settling- serene like the moon going back behind a cloud.

"Shhh- that's OK, love, you can stay relaxed. Good," Stede soothed. "Izzy was wondering if he could touch you while you're in trance. Would that be OK?"

Ed took a moment to respond, as though the words were reaching him from a great distance. Then he nodded his assent.

Stede smiled back at Izzy, reassuringly. Izzy took a breath- then reached over to slowly stroke Ed's hair.

His fearsome Blackbeard smiled in return to the gesture- giving a happy little murmur. He slightly leaned his head in. Just like an affectionate kitten, Izzy thought.

"Good," soothed Bonnet at Ed. "I bet that feels nice."

Izzy grinned too, feeling oddly proud to be trusted with this quiet moment. He and Ed had never been conventional. Maybe it was OK that Ed and Stede weren't either. Maybe it was ok that their relationships were so different- that they saw such different aspects of the same person.

Maybe it was all ok.

Maybe it all balanced.

They sat quietly for a long moment on the deck, letting the peace of the atmosphere soothe them.

Gradually Stede stirred. "Izzy- I forgot to ask: Did the men send you? Were they looking for us?"

"There's no emergency, they were just curious where you were," replied Izzy.

Stede nodded. "We should probably get back, then. Or at least get off deck. Love," he said, moving his voice back into that hypnotic tone. He touched Ed's leg to refocus him. "Are you ready to come up out of trance for me?"

Ed took a deep breath and nodded.

"Good, I'll count to 5 then. It's just to guide you- I know you know how to come up at your own pace. Bring back any of this peace and calm that you want with you, ok?"

Stede started counting- his voice slowly gaining energy as he reminded Ed to connect back with his body and helped him reorient to the ship. It all didn't seem particularly magical to Izzy- but then again he rarely tried to understand Bonnet's ways anyway. Ed finally blinked his eyes open when Stede reached 5.

He blinked a few more times, adjusting. Then, his gaze lost it's bleariness as he looked adoringly up at Stede.

"Hi, there," said Stede, smiling gently. "Back with us, love?"

"Mmmmph mostly," said Ed, scritching his beard and stretching to rouse himself. He looked over at Izzy as though reminding himself he was there and smiled. "Heya, Izz!" Ed leaned up to kiss him.

Izzy grinned into their kiss. "Heya, Captain. Didn't want to interrupt your little daydream session. Crew was just looking for you."

"Ah, we missed dinner!" exclaimed Stede. "I should have asked Roach for..."

"Provisions for planning raids, I heard," smirked Izzy. "Yes, we're all very snowed by your clever euphemisms."

"Fuck provisions, I could eat a horse," said Ed. He practically bounced up and put an arm around both of his boyfriends. "C'mon, let's get some grub!"

Helpless to his whims as always, both of his partners joyfully followed him to dinner.

Fanfic is new to me so would love some thoughts! Also this is unbeta'd so will love you forever if you would point out spelling/grammar mistakes or if there's unclear writing. I'm considering posting this to AO3 but- don't want to embarrass myself in front of the REAL fanfic writers, you know? Feedback welcomed!

Tagging @mentat101posts and @thekinkycocktailclub .If you want to be tagged in these, just lmk!

Tagging @darthkyra @linnybeenaughty @pearlqueensposts @thiskenisftm @deeperforme because they wanted OFMD hypnokink and I blame/thank you for the inspiration to actually get this down!

[crankityart]

Arcane characters and how to make them laugh + their laugh headcanons PART 1

Feat. Vi, Jinx, Caitlyn, Jayce, Viktor + Heimerdinger

This was really fun! I love making up these quirky little hcs and this was just on my mind. uwu Stay tuned for part 2.

Note: reader insert and implied character x reader, platonic and romantic.

Vi

Despite being a sarcastic person, Vi doesn’t laugh out loud too often

Most of the time she will react with a cocky chuckle or snort

Definitely enjoys way more making you laugh and listening to your sweet giggles

However, there is one thing that ALWAYS gets her: real-life slapstick

One day you went ice skating together and the first thing you did after bragging about how good you were at it, was accidentally fall flat on your ass

Vi immediately burst into laughter upon seeing you unhurt but absolutely dumbfounded by what had just happened

You were a bit flustered but hearing her unrestrained laughter echoing through the frost-covered park made you feel all warm all of a sudden

Eventually, she calmed down and offered you a hand to get back on your feet

Not without teasing you for the rest of the day about it of course

You wouldn’t expect it but Vi’s laugh is very similar to Jinx’s, raspy and high but definitely less hysterical and sometimes it even has some qualities of Vander’s if she does more of a belly laugh

She will even do a knee slap if something amuses her particularly

Jinx

She absolutely loves it when you do an impression of Sevika

Bonus points if you dress up as her with a cloak and something to substitute her robot arm for extra mockery

First Jinx will just be giggling, biting her lip while watching you put on a little show but by the end of your skit you will have her crying with laughter and kicking her legs 

She definitely has a childlike sense of humor and doesn’t shy away from letting herself loose

That involves hysterical giggling, heavy snorting, and cackling like a mad chicken 

Her laugh is definitely a lot and can be super annoying to the people around her

But not to you

Seeing her so genuinely happy is quite a nice change

Silco also doesn’t seem to mind it

Will also laugh her ass off seeing other people – especially those she dislikes – getting pranked   

Caitlyn

So … Caitlyn is quite experienced when it comes to retaining her composure

She doesn’t just burst out laughing even though in the past there have been a couple of close calls

Her mother usually cut her off when she started to giggle about something in an unflattering situation

When Caitlyn is not around her parents she’s usually much more comfortable showing her emotions

However … there is something she is insecure about: her laugh

You found out about it one time when the two of you were goofing around on the couch

You started tickling her and to your surprise, she burst into the biggest high-pitched dolphin laughter you have ever heard from anybody

You were taken aback and she was  m o r t i f i e d 

She explained to you that she hates her laugh but you assured her that it was the sweetest, most beautiful sound to ever exist on this planet

She just rolled her eyes, telling you to shut up while turning bright red  

Jayce

Jayce will laugh about anything really

Comedy shows? 

He will be in tears not even halfway through

You accidentally letting one rip? 

He will ROLL on the floor!

But something that will particularly amuse him and infuriate you (affectionately) is making you flustered

When he sees you blushing deep red, stumbling over your own words, and then putting on that hilariously pouty face he just can’t help it 

It’s TOO cute!

He will let out a hearty laugh at your expression, sometimes giving your a firm pat on the back or just wrapping his arm around you 

It’s hard to stay mad at him though because his laugh is just so charming

Like … this man is mocking you, how can he be so handsome about it?! >://(

Also claps loudly when laughing

And you always feel like your eardrums are gonna explode when he does it out of nowhere

Viktor

Oh boy, here we have a tough candidate …

Viktor has a peculiar sense of humor and it’s quite hard to make him laugh out loud

A soft chuckle or grin is the most you can get out of him usually

He is definitely one to cover his mouth and giggle in secret when people aren’t paying attention

However, there was this one time you accidentally called Heimerdinger ”Heimerdaddy” in front of the yordle’s face when you bid him goodbye

And much to your surprise Viktor just … lost it

It caught him so off guard that at first, he tried to keep his wheezing down, pressing his fist against his lips as hard as he could

But there was no way he would get a hold of himself anytime soon

It was just 10 minutes of suppressed wheezing and giggling only interrupted by him choking on his own laughter and coughing 

Afterward, he wiped away the tears from his face, apologizing about a million times

Weirdly despite your blunder, you didn’t feel embarrassed for being laughed at but instead felt a sense of pride for experiencing this side of Viktor that probably no one else has seen before

Needless to say you you never managed to make him laugh like this again sadly

+ Heimerdinger

He will laugh at really corny jokes or witty wordplay

Thing is: he is always the one laughing for WAY too long

Everyone else will have moved on while he's still repeating the punchline of the joke in between laughing fits

It gets really awkward ...

His laugh is kind of a Santa Claus-esque ”Hohoho” 

Only if Santa Claus was a gerbil

[literary-corvid]

I am a patchwork quilt of everyone I've ever loved

I’ve always been drawn to flowers. I could never remember why, even when I named myself after one. (My first ever friend was called Rosie. I was always envious - how full of life she seemed to be!)

I feel a faint sense of dread when I go to clasp a necklace. Only sometimes does my conscious mind drift to her, and it is only then that I wonder if she ever took hers off. I never consider that she was lying. If it wasn’t the glue around that clasp, it was something else that stayed like a noose around her neck.

I wear my watch on my right wrist. I am not left-handed, but the sister who put her watch on my hand when I was three was. It was blue and plastic and cheap but it became mine. She beamed at me: now I’ll always be able to tell you the time! I didn’t bother to learn how to read its analog face for the longest time. I had a reason to keep asking her that way.

I stumble on a word I haven’t memorized, or I teach a younger student how to pronounce that letter combination, and suddenly I am in primary, sitting on a white rug as my second sister gently sounds out the words in front of us. My parents beam at me that night as I say a new word right, and I proudly tell them how my sister taught me. It was all her, I would say. Look how Good I must be for her to love me.

A scar graces my left knee. It looks old and worn, like nothing, but sometimes I see her fingerprint there, as if the gloves she wore when mopping up my blood had vanished. She told me later, when she poured the disinfectant on two instead of three, that it would fade, that someday I would forget. I’m glad she was wrong. I sent her a message a few years ago, and never heard back. But I see her profile sometimes, and how she sees my stories. We grew apart. I’m trying to learn that that’s okay, but I still wonder if she ever misses me. I see her out of the corner of my eye when my knee throbs with a dull, faint pain. I miss her, but at least her fingerprint remains.

On my thirteenth birthday, and for many birthdays after, an alarm on my phone would go off, reminding me to go train dolphins with a sister. I deleted it years ago. I regret it every time it never rings.

I’ve always remembered when Earth Day is. My schools have always made a day of it. But now, on April 22nd, I think not of the earth, but of my twin flame. On that day, I give my thanks to the earth, for I was born of her, but I spend my life loving her. For a year, I was coaxed with sickly sweet words away from her; away from everyone. When I was back, there was no question of if she would welcome me, even through my guilt. She is the one who stayed by me, helped me up, loved me. Who keeps loving me, as I keep loving her.

I prick my finger as I sew, and each time I remember how she would chastise me, reminding me to wear a thimble. And each time, I smile and say I’m fine. I understand better, though, when she cuts herself on the tape dispenser and I carefully tear tape for her the rest of the year.

When I sew on the machine, though, I never feel quite sure of myself. It goes to fast, faster than I can think, with more strength than I am sure of. So when I inevitably fuck up, I smile, remembering her laugh as she pretends to groan at how long it will take to undo, thank god I know better than to start with a backstitch. I know that she is reminding me that it can be undone, no matter how tedious. Stitch by stitch, I fix what I’ve ruined.

I tell people I love them so easily. Anyone who changes my life, even in the smallest of ways, I cannot bear the thought of them not knowing. They say to live each day like it's your last, but they're wrong, it's not you that matters: live each day like it's their last. Loving in secret is a special torment when the guilt feels crushing. I never told him. I never can. I hope he knew, I’m sure he knew how much he was loved. Right? He knew? Tell me he knew. Please.

I go shopping, and absentmindedly look for the good apples - the ones that crunch, that tear sharply, that are just perfectly sweet or bitter. Sometimes I don’t realize until I get home and have apples I probably won’t eat. I offer them to my friends instead, because my partner is states away. They laugh when I send them the pictures, though, and tell me to eat one in their honor. I do.

There are some things I can’t see without itching to gift. Penguins and owls and squirrels and bird and those godforsaken minions and coffee and turtles and irises and this one shade of blue– I’ve left with glass hummingbirds in my pocket before realizing I have no one to give it to.

I’m not in tears over my homework, but I would be if I were alone. Instead, it hits 10:00pm - 22:00, just for them - and it’s done. It’s over and I can’t go back and they're asking for my three favorite candies and I’m thrown because I want to sob - with relief or stress, I’m not sure - but they say they’re going to get me some. Because they’re proud of me. Like it’s obvious. And when they learn I’ve never had any chocolate candy, they come back with a handful. I split the KitKat and hand them half and they watch me, some mix of delight and horror in their eyes, as they halve the Twix and Milky Way and York for us to share. I’m laughing at an irony they don’t see; it blends into every other joy here. So this is it, I think. This is what it’s like.

I keep thinking about the things I do and the parts of me that aren't as much me as they are them or us. I love carrying those people with me, mostly. There's things from friends who've died, and it hurts sometimes. I hope it stays with me, though - the grief, the pain. I don't want it to get easier because I don't want to forget them. I don't think I've actually dealt with anything that happened in the last six years, give or take? And it's all been hitting at once for the past year-ish. So, this is for the friends who are gone or lost to me, and to those who still let me love them.

I've had no less than three interactions that prompted me to actually post this within the last 24 hours, so thanks to @firefliesandfuckery and @judas-redeemed and @vanilla-cigarillos and everyone else for that!

[mtdthoughts]

Masterlist

I thought I'd create a masterlist to help those interested in navigating my blog. Most of my posts can be categorized as:

Observation: points out something interesting, tends to be short and not too deep.

Thought: explores a scene or a small collection of scenes in more detail, and explains context fully and rigorously; can get a bit deep and maybe a bit long

Analysis: explores a large collection of scenes that can span across multiple episodes or even the whole story, and tries to get at the themes and hidden messages of the story; can get very deep, very long, and often consist of multiple parts

Therefore, in terms of "reading difficulty" Observations are typically easy, Thoughts are typically medium, and Analyses are typically hard.

However, there are other posts that don't fit these categories and may get their own (later). I will not be linking my silly doodles (i.e. attempted "fanart") since I do find them a bit embarrassing...

Anyway, without further ado, here is the current masterlist. A short spoiler-free (ish) summary is accompanied with each link.

Observations

The Twins' Upbringing : There appear to be subtle differences between the twins even when they were living with their mother.

Obvious Disguise : A list of clues that make Dali's disguise easy to see through.

Returning Home : A parallel between two similar scenes in Episodes 9 and 12.

Differences Between Migi & Dali : As the title states.

Dali's Special Laugh : A collection of scenes in the manga where Dali laughs hysterically.

Dali's Book : Dali is seen reading La Preuve by Agota Kristof.

Academics : A collection of scenes showing the twins' academic abilities.

Suspicious Sonoyamas : A collection of scenes that give an initial perception of creepiness in the Sonoyama house.

The Twins' Ethnicity : I speculate that the twins are of French origin.

Recreating Eiji : An observation when the twins go to school in Episode 13.

Hyperbola : A brief discussion of the (incorrect) hyperbola in Episode 8 and its possible symbolism.

Inari Shrine : A brief discussion of the Inari shrine in Episode 9 and its possible symbolism.

Youko and Reiko : A comparison between the two mothers by exploring their names.

Akiyama's Dog : Akiyama had a dog all along. I think it's a Maltese

Hairstyles : A brief discussion of the twins' hairstyle changes in Episode 13.

Migi's Animalism : A collection of scenes where Migi acts like an animal (probably a dog)

Connections to Kristof's Book of Lies : A collection of parallels between Sano's work and Kristof's book trilogy (The Notebook, The Proof, and The Third Lie).

Migi's Supportiveness : A collection of scenes showing how Migi has always supported his brother.

The Dolphin Pendant : Dolphin symbolism.

"Dali Always Gets the Good Stuff" : A collection of scenes where Migi gets screwed or feels unfairness.

Silly Faces : A parallel between two similar scenes in Episodes 10 and 12.

Miscellaneous Observations: As the title states.

"Stupid Migi": A collection of scenes where Dali notices and/or is annoyed with what he sees as Migi being dumb.

Similarities Chart: A chart comparing the twins and Eiji.

Parent-Child Parallels: A chart that points out a certain pattern.

Books in Migi & Dali : As the title states

Dali's Charisma: A collection of scenes of Dali being the "cool older brother"

The Psychiatrist: A brief mention of the book Akira was reading

Eiij's Pictures: As the title states.

Thoughts

Rejection : An exploration into Dali's mind and reasoning for his action in Episode 11.

Hidden Loneliness : Dali's first interaction with Akiyama could hint at his hidden loneliness and suffering.

Reason(s) for the Title : Possible explanations why it's not called "Dali & Migi"

Order : I speculate a particular birth order.

Bedwetting ; An exploration of Dali's bedwetting in Chapter 10 from the manga, including its connection to Eiji.

Whodunit : The twins' mother's killer.

Her Mistake : Although the twins' mother had the best of intentions, the results of her actions unfortunately don't reflect this.

The Return of Sali : An exploration in Dali's second time using the disguise, including his thoughts and feelings.

A Happier Ending? : What if the twins had just given up on revenge from the very start?

Below & Above : Migi's visit to Maruta's house provides a parallel to his relationship with his brother.

Proof of Growth : A scene in Episode 10 shows how much Migi has grown.

Good Guy Akiyama: The events in Chapter 16 suggest that Dali really did appreciate Akiyama's friendship.

Surprising Similarities : There are actually quite a few similarities between Migi and Eiji.

The "King of Imitations" : An exploration into Migi's special talent and its possible meaning.

The Scar : An interpretation of a certain scar that appears at the end of Episode 12.

Timeskip Appearance : An interpretation of the twins' timeskip changes.

Santa Claus : A discussion of the usage of Santa Claus and Christmas and their symbolism in the story.

A Different Cherry Pie : An exploration of the "cherry pie" in Chapter 35 and its symbolism.

The Meaning of Hitori : A discussion of the meaning of the name of the twins' shared persona.

Lingering Questions : Open questions that I still can't really answer after completing the anime/manga.

Halloween Costumes : A discussion of the twins' Halloween costumes and possible symbolism.

Mirrors : A discussion of the mirroring and symmetry between the twins.

Gifted Children : Dali may have another motive for advancing to Class 1-1.

Dali's Left-Handedness : A discussion on Dali's left-handedness and his pretending to be right-handed.

Troublesome Older Brother : A contextualization of Migi's "troublesome brother" remark in Episode 12.

Hidden Doubt : Another reason for seeking revenge.

Mother's Disguise: Why was it Migi, not Dali, who wore the disguise?

Realization: When did the Sonoyamas...?

"He's Me": An explanation of that line.

Blonde Hair: A discussion of the twins' hair color and its significance.

Clothing: A discussion of clothing and its significance.

Guessing Their Birthday: As the title states.

The Twins' Departure: When the twins left when they were 5

Analyses

Reiko's Son : An exploration of the similarities between Dali and Reiko and the purpose of this parallel.

Heroism : A telling of Dali's character development as a hero's journey.

Yin & Yang : A discussion of balance and duality in the story, illustrated through yin and yang.

Parentification : An exploration of the unequal dynamic the twins had, which was most likely caused by their mother's death.

Shadow : A discussion of the real reason behind Dali's decisions in Episode 13.

Heaven & Hell : A discussion of the usage of the concepts of heaven and hell in the story.

Character Analysis : As the title states.

Inner Demons : A discussion of the driving forces behind the antagonist(s) of the story.

The Themes of Migi & Dali : As the title states.

Our Hearts Are One : An exploration of the unity between the twins throughout the story.

Cherry Pie : An exploration of cherry pie as an important symbol throughout the story.

The Twins' Relationship : An exploration of the twins' relationship and its evolution throughout the story.

Reflections After Reading the Book of Lies Trilogy : As the title states.

The Twins' Motivations: A discussion of what drove the twins' actions in the story.

Possible References to The Carpenters: As the title states.

Reiko's Son : An exploration of the similarities between Dali and Reiko and the purpose of this parallel.

Heroism : A telling of Dali's character development as a hero's journey.

Yin & Yang : A discussion of balance and duality in the story, illustrated through yin and yang.

Parentification : An exploration of the unequal dynamic the twins had, which was most likely caused by their mother's death.

Shadow : A discussion of the real reason behind Dali's decisions in Episode 13.

Heaven & Hell : A discussion of the usage of the concepts of heaven and hell in the story.

Character Analysis : As the title states.

Inner Demons : A discussion of the driving forces behind the antagonist(s) of the story.

The Themes of Migi & Dali : As the title states.

Our Hearts Are One : An exploration of the unity between the twins throughout the story.

Cherry Pie : An exploration of cherry pie as an important symbol throughout the story.

The Twins' Relationship : An exploration of the twins' relationship and its evolution throughout the story.

Reflections After Reading the Book of Lies Trilogy : As the title states.

The Twins' Motivations: A discussion of what drove the twins' actions in the story.

Possible References to The Carpenters: As the title states.

Uncategorized

Unofficial Reading List

My Reaction to Episode 13 (just lots of text)

My Rough Script of the Migi & Dali Sequel Manga

A List of My Fanfiction

My Character Ranking

Manga Chapters the Anime Covers

My Review of the Anime (on MAL)

The Manga Volume Covers

[midnight-rice]

Snippets from Dolphin's undisclosed workplace:

One manager likes to sing the catchiest jingles from children's cartoons and get them stuck in everyone else's heads. Last week was the backpack song from Dora the Explorer, this week it's Dragon Tails. She also puts random movies and shows on the TVs when it's late and we have no business, and is invested in Forged by Fire as a result

"Do you think a Swiffer would burn the top of the oven?" "No, but I think the oven would burn a Swiffer." "SHUT UPPP"

*said during a serious conversation about climate change, in an old-man voice* "Back in my day we used to have FOUR seasons! And I DON'T mean the hotel!"

Same person approached me with a wadded ball of dough and puppetted it in front of me like an evil slime monster while making rasping breathing sounds. Needless to say I died laughing

He also likes to admire pepperonis as they curl in the oven and dance quietly whenever nothing is going on. I like to join him, to my general manager's chagrin. We think he is jealous because as a GM he is not unprofessional enough to dance

My general manager is a warm and friendly man who comes across as more business-minded but still funny. Today after completing my training he confessed to me unprompted that the map of our delivery range looks uncannily like the side profile of the grandmother from Hey Arnold! He's right, and now I can't unsee it

*GM slipped on a mushroom* "Uh oh, he's tripping on shrooms!!"

My coworkers agreed I need to work on my manager voice, they said they'd be shocked to hear me yell. I waited until they were put of the building and yelled as loud as I could, but I sounded like an irate goose 😅

I have been known to make animals out of leftover dough. Not to brag but some of them turn out really good 😌

The store owner relayed an interesting story about a recent even at the other location: apparently someone dashed into the store, grabbed a giant pizza right off of a family's table, and ran out the door. Looney Toons-ass crimes happening there apparently

Everytime I hold the oven mitts I turn into a crab clickclick and everytime i hold a pizza peel I turn into master lancer stabby stab

(did you know that the stick you use to get a pizza out of the oven is called a pizza peel. I didn't know, I had to google it)

One of my coworkers is a socially awkward high schooler who has shared some extremely worrying stories from his life like the time his sister got raped but my favorite interaction with him was when he told me all about Undertale AUs, which I thankfully had some knowledge about due to watching a YouTube video about them a week prior. Rather than the edgy ones like Underfell or Error Sans it sounded like his favorite was the kindest version of Frisk (I forget the name but they rescue characters from bad AUs) because it made him feel hopeful ;_;

A different pair of teens who work here discovered they could overwhelm the label maker's character limit and get it to print in an entirely different font as a result

Every day since I started I have deliberately misspelled my name on my cup to see if anyone notices. Usually it's just the first few letters followed by keysmashes but ocassionally I name it things like "rawr XD" and *Wilhelm screams*

A few weeks after I started i was bored and doodling my go-to monsters on scrap paper. My coworkers liked them so much they taped them to the side of the Pepsi cooler ;_;

My insatiable desire for removable vandalism has led me to hiding stickers of my go-to monster mascot around the store. So far none have been found to my knowledge. I did show off the box whose bottom I completely covered with the little guys though

Half of the store is quite short, myself included. We all make fun of each other for it but I still refuse to get a step stool out when reaching for things on the top shelf

Every time I prep tomatoes I whisper "Ludger-coded" to myself

But I spend most of my time writing gay fan fic in my head

[jerzwriter]

A New Start

Book:                   Open Heart (End of Series)

Pairing:                Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Kaycee MacClennan)

Rating:                 Teen

Category:            One-shot AU / Angst

Summary:           Kaycee’s time in Boston is coming to an end, and she’s grateful that her goodbyes are now behind her. But fate had other plans….

Words:                 2200

A/N:                    Based on this ask for MC falling in love with LI, but it never rose to that level for LI.  They said to pick the pairing, so I’m doing one for each of my three.  This is number one; the oehter two will be up soon.  Hey, we need some angst. 😊

    @choices-november2022 – Day 26 – Change is good

Ethan x Kaycee Masterlist Full Masterlist

Summer always arrived late in Boston. At times it felt like season had descended on everyone, but still not here. Even so, this year was exceptional, and Kaycee was convinced it was never going to show. So when she woke this morning to a warm breeze unlike any she had felt in nearly half a year, she had to laugh at the irony. Of course, it would be today.

Edenbrook.  Boston. Completing her residency under the Ethan Ramsey. It was all a lifelong dream that fate conspired into reality. But fate had a peculiar sense of humor, and its plans for Kaycee weren’t always pure. A tumultuous, almost career-ending intern year and her first year of residency, where  “almost ended” took on an entirely different, harrowing meaning. Still, she had gained so much during her three years in Boston. She learned, grew, and was ready to be the best doctor she could be… but not without scars.

Sienna bounced through Derry’s front door, her ever-pleasant smile lighting up her face, and Kaycee let out a breath she was unaware she had been holding. Her best friend was just what she needed. They very thing to help occupy her overactive mind on her last day in the city, and Sienna wouldn’t let her make any stupid mistakes, or would she?

Lunch was delicious if barely eaten. Reminiscing, sharing some laughs, and even a few tears proved more important. But Kaycee didn’t mind. Her rumbling belly could be satisfied on the plane, but only Sienna could nourish her heart and her soul in this way. Her time in Boston had gifted her one more thing: a soul mate. Perhaps not in the form of true love but in a best friend. For all the jokes fate liked to play, Kaycee was eternally grateful it had brought them together. 

The bond between the two “dolphins” was undeniable. They could read each other’s minds, and Sienna was doing that now. As engaged as Kaycee was in the conversation, her eyes rarely left the window overlooking Boston Commons. The lovely weather brought everyone out, and the park was full. Full of young children playing under their parent's careful watch. Full of co-workers laughing over a picnic. Then there were the lovers, strolling hand in and gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. Yes, it was filled with many things today, but most of all, it was filled with bittersweet memories.

“Have you said goodbye to him yet?” Sienna whispered, bringing her friend’s full attention back to her.

She considered playing coy, but that would be futile. Unwilling to look Sienna in the eyes, she focused on her fidgeting hands and tried to rid her voice of emotion when she finally spoke.  

“My last day at Edenbrook was yesterday. Everything is done but the flight to Chicago. So,  yeah, we said goodbye.”

“I didn’t mean at work. I thought maybe a more private goodbye would be beneficial. You know, for closure.”

Kaycee began to chuckle, but not in a way that elicited joy, and Sienna wondered if she shouldn’t have mentioned it at all.

“I don’t think it’s necessary. Ethan and I… we’ve shared many goodbyes over the past three years. What difference will one more make?”

“It would make a difference… because this time, it’s for good.”

“Well, be that as it may. A car is scheduled to pick me up in less than twenty minutes, and my time here is done. Whatever goodbyes he and I shared in the past, well, we’ll need to make do with them.”

Sienna’s eyes went wide, and it appeared fate had one more trick up its sleeve before it allowed Kaycee to board that plane. It was delivered in the unmistakable six-foot-three frame filling the entranceway to Derry’s. Although Sienna viewed this as a sign, her loyalty was always to Kayce, and if she didn’t want to speak with him again, she’d see to it that she didn’t have to.

“Kaycee,” she whispered. “You won’t believe who just walked in. If you’d like me to distract him so you can make an exit, I will.”

Kaycee looked to the door, then looked back to Sienna with frustration. “Si, you didn’t tell him we were….”

“Hey! I had nothing to do with this. You chose the location, and it’s not as if he doesn’t come here every day.”

“Yeah,” Kaycee swallowed, “probably stupid on my part.”

With that, Ethan’s head turned, his sapphire blue eyes met hers, and the slightest hint of a smile was on his face as he offered a gentle wave.

“Last chance,” Sienna said as he walked their way. “I’ll get rid of him if you want.”

“You know what, maybe this is the universe telling me we need that final goodbye after all.”

Sienna smiled tenderly as she hugged her dear friend tight.

“I’m going to miss you so much. You’re going to call me the second you land?”

“Not a second later,” Kaycee smiled. “And you’ll be coming out for the weekend in two weeks.”

“Look out, Chicago!” Sienna beamed. After exchanging pleasantries with Ethan, she slipped away, almost grateful to avoid what would have been a painful goodbye. But what Sienna avoided was delivered to Kaycee in spades. Because standing before her was the man who had changed her life in more ways than one. The man she always admired, and the one with whom she had fallen desperately in love… if only he had felt the same way in return.

“Ethan,” she grinned, though it never met her eyes. “What brings you here?”

“Considering how many coffee runs we made together, I think you know the answer to that,” he smiled. “If you were avoiding me, there were better places.”

“Hmmm.  And if you were looking for me, you’d know exactly where to go.”

Ethan gulped, looking painfully awkward. She’d seen the look before. He may have exuded sheer confidence, to the point of arrogance at work, but personal matters were another issue. She motioned toward Sienna’s now empty seat to put him at ease at her own expense. Another thing had become commonplace during their time together. When he eagerly complied, she sat back down in her seat. 

“Did you come here on purpose?” Kayce asked so softly her voice was almost inaudible.

“I… I was hoping I’d get the chance to see you before you left.”

“Why,” she asked, taking a drink from her glass. “We said goodbye at the hospital, and surely most residents don’t get this attention.”

“You’re not most residents.”

“I know,” she swallowed, forcing her eyes to stay on his. “I was much more foolish than most.”

“Foolish? As an intern, you cured Naveen when no one else could. You were the youngest fellow ever accepted on the diagnostic team. You excelled to the point that the top five hospitals in the nation were vying for you the moment you aced the boards. I wouldn’t define that as foolish.”

“That’s an impressive resume,” she smirked. “But you know damn well what I mean. Please, don’t play coy.”

Squirming in his seat, he sighed uncomfortably before leaning in closer to her.

“That’s… kind of why I came looking for you. I didn’t want you to leave before I had the chance to apologize. I….”

“Ethan, stop,” she interrupted. “You’ve apologized countless times before, and I don’t want to revisit it. You were clear from the start. I’m the one who went and caught feelings, and you’re not responsible for that. No one other than Sienna knew about us, and she’ll take it to the grave. So your secret is safe, your reputation is intact, and I’ll survive. So… you’re absolved."

“You know it isn’t that simple. This isn’t about me, my guilt, or fears about our reputations… this is about my regret….”

Kaycee shook her head with a rueful chuckle. “Please, don’t tell me you went out of your way to find me just to say that you regret whatever it was that we shared.”

“On the contrary,” he sighed. “Just because I wasn’t in it for the long haul, doesn’t mean it wasn’t important to me… that you weren’t important to me. I want you to know that you’ll always have a special place in my heart, and I will forever regret hurting yours.”

“You did,” her voice quivered as she bit into her lower lip. “It wasn’t your fault in the beginning. I just wish you would have backed away when you knew I felt more. I tried to stay away from you, Ethan; I really did… but I… I just couldn’t. I foolishly kept hoping you’d eventually want what I did, and… in the end, I just hurt myself.”

“What’s done is done, and I know this doesn’t matter now, but I was hoping that eventually, I would feel more, want more… I wasn’t using you, Kaycee. I was trying to….”

“I know,” she smiled. “I know.”

An awkward silence fell between them. There was so much to say, yet it had all been said before.

“You’re going to take Chicago by storm,” he smiled. “I mean it.”

“Oh, you better believe I am,” she grinned. “You better watch your ass, Ramsey. I’m coming for your crown."

"I sure hope you do."

They started at each other, perhaps a moment too long, yet neither wanted to be the first to look away. 

“Do you think… no,” he stopped.

“No. What?”

“Do you think that we could… be friends?”

“No,” she answered quickly and with such confidence that it took him aback.

“Oh, that’s fine, I….”

“At least not now,” she continued. “Ethan, my heart doesn’t have an off switch; getting over you will take some time. But don’t you worry. One day, I will find the man or woman I’m meant to be with. The one who will love me every bit as much as I love them, and when that day comes… maybe we can try. But until then, I’m afraid my mind would keep trying to turn you into that man, which won’t help either of us.”

“I hope you find them,” he spoke as a sad look washed over him. “And when you do, I’ll be happy to tell them just how lucky they are. You deserve all the happiness, Rookie.”

Smiling bravely, Kaycee stifled a sob and reached over the table to cup his cheek in her hand, surprised when he leaned into it.

“I hope you find that too, Ethan.”

“Me,” he chuckled, “Nah, if I was….”

“Ethan. Our work is wonderful, but there is so much more to life. Please, let yourself be open to it."

"Hmmm," he hummed. “Yet our work doesn’t leave me sitting in a coffee shop, feeling as lousy as I do right now.”

“Yes,” she smiled, “but has it ever made you feel as good as you did during the times we shared together? You deserve more, Ethan.”

A loud vibration interrupted the tender moment, and Kaycee picked up her phone.

“That’s my Uber driver. He’ll be here in five minutes. I should start heading out.”

He stood up after she did and offered to help with her bags.

“It’s only two,” she insisted. “I’ll be dragging them all over Logan and O’Hare until I get to my new place.”

“You’re going to put Northwestern on the map.”

“It’s already on the map,” she smiled. “I’m just going to make it rank higher than Edenbrook.”

“I’m going to miss you, Kaycee,” he choked. 

“I know,” she smiled. “Take care, Ethan. I know this isn’t goodbye.”

“Ethan!” A gentleman called from across the way. 

“Oh, Dr. Tanaka, I was just….”

“Dr. MacClennan,” Dr. Tanaka continued. “I see you’re on your way, the very best of luck to you!”

“Thank you. Now I really do have to….”

“Are you sure I can’t walk you out?” Ethan asked.

“I’m good. Plus, it looks like Dr. Tanaka wanted to speak with you.”

“I would like to discuss the Hartford case.”

“Yes,” Ethan said, motioning toward the table, “then, by all means.”

Dr. Tanaka began discussing the case details as soon as he took his seat, but Ethan’s eyes were fixed on the same window Kaycee stared out of before. He watched as she placed her luggage into the trunk and slid into the back seat. 

She promised herself she wouldn’t look back, but after securing her seatbelt, she looked out the window to see Derry’s one last time and found Ethan’s eyes glued on her. It felt like slow motion as she raised her hand and gave one final wave. He nodded in her direction. A smile so difficult to describe on his lips. Marked with sadness and regret, yet so much pride.

“So, do you think that would be the best approach?” Dr. Tanaka asked.

“Oh,” Ethan replied, turning back to him. “I’m still of the belief that if we delay the surgery, we may find that he could spontaneously heal. So I’d suggest….”

“So, headed to Logan?” The driver asked. “Business or pleasure?”

Kaycee turned her head away from the window and met his eyes in the rearview mirror. “Neither,” she smiled. “It’s a brand new start.”

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[angelicabby]

Confessions

A letter to all the men I’ve loved before

♥️

E:

I feel a sense of belonging, I want you, I want our dreams. You’re my dream, my constant star. I dance with others, I let them hold me because I don’t know how far your heart is from me, I don’t know if your mind thinks of this dream, the same way that I do. If only we walked the same kingdom, if only I could cross this distance. My dolphin

I want to spend my life stargazing with you, lost in a mist of feathery nebulas. I want to mother all your children and wake up to your grumpy face, your warmth in my bed each night. I want to make you coffee and I want to stare at you as you do mundane stuff. I want you to laugh with me as we sit in the sun looking at the sea. I'm drunk on alcohol and on you. I fall on the floor and so deep into you. It's a fond memory.

I want to feel you spooning me again and this time I won't let go. I want to walk with you, hand in yours till we both need a cane. We'll be too proud to use a cane and choose instead to rest on each other. I want to walk in the dark and in the day with your hand wrapped around me, knowing that we are constant. We are carbon, the basis of most. I dream you would make me sure of your feelings, of being able to delve deep in your mind like I swam in that fresh sea. I want to see you swim again, so magestic, like a siren. I want to cross this distance and be yours. I want to see you coming to our table with two glasses of tea and a plate of watermelons. I want you to come kiss my neck from behind me like you did on that balcony. Having tasted you, just a small bite, I don't know if knowing you and longing for you is worse than just longing.

I:

I thought I could fall for you, I thought you would catch me. You disappear for days on end and then we you get lonely you reappear like nothing has changed and I run back like a dog that was always waiting. It’s wrong and I deserve better. You were an escape. The only good things that came out of you were your esteem towards me and a line I might use in one of my books, “Sometimes love is not enough”

S:

You use all sorts of excuses. You’re a bit pathetic. Your actions show exactly what you want and it’s nothing that will leave a mark. You’re like all the others, like a bee running around.

Ma:

You're a liar. Lost. You don't know what hit you, running around, flailing. I keep giving you chances to redeem yourself but it's like you're blind. I use you as a distraction not to sit crying and thinking about the impossible. Yet you’re a friend, you listen sometimes and you’re the only present shoulder now.

Is:

Crying now will not make me run back to you. You actually hurt me when I loved you. You treated me like an idiot and I deserve much better. I remember I still felt my heart clench when he texted me when I was with you so maybe you could never have taken his place. It's too late now anyway.

M:

What a joke? I let myself be amused into thinking I would move to America with you and fulfil that part of my dream. I actually gave you a second chance, who knew I was able? I actually thought we could work stuff out and try. Deep down I knew there was something off from the start. Deep down my body knows.

But, ♥️

E:

You are all an escape because no one can take his place. There was never any respect for any of you. I feel like I belong in his arms and I promised myself I will end up and build a life with him. Whatever happens he is my constant, my northern star and I always go back to him, all paths lead to him. Its not a choice, its a need, innate. This hope will break me, this longing I have for his arms and the way I think of him when I’m in another one’s arms will kill me. They can read it from my eyes, they know he is there, a ghost engulfing my heart.

I feel ashamed that I’ve looked for intimacy with them. I want to erase that part from the history. But I can’t change my choices. Deep down I know that what I feel for him is stronger. Yet I doubt him and myself so I let my body be used, I let my pleasure guide me.

Deep down I dream of that cabin in the woods, I dream of breathing clean air and turn around and find you looking at me. I dream of sharing a multitude of wine bottles with you, always under the stars and lost in deep discussion. I wish to be at peace, knowing I don’t need to run anymore because with you I’m in my place, my puzzle completed.

And today I feel that this feeling was just that a feeling, and I will probably look back one day and see how it never lasted because nothing ever lasts. People keep running into my life and out of it fast. No one ever stays.

If you put weight on this feeling you would have invested more in it. So I guess you never felt what I felt and it was a waste of time on my side and a waste of tears. Glad to just be friends, I’m ready for bigger and better things.

♥️

Someone asked me what love means to me and I wrote this:

Its understanding, feeling like yourself, knowing that someone always has your back, someone is your constant throughout everything, its making plans and even if the other person hates the plan they will go along just to see you smile. Its holding hands in shitty times, its a look, a team, a loyal net that will keep you safe. Its knowing that silence is full and you can walk the world a bit bolder because you have that person with you

I try to find you in other men, the way you smile in their smile, the way you lift your head, the way you held me, the way you kiss. I can’t focus on them when I’m with them, my head keeps buzzing to you. I wish I’m still in that terrace, the sun shining over me as you creep slowly from behind me and kiss me.

I’m dating men who look like you, trying to get the same excitement I feel when you text. I’m not trying hard to forget you because I don’t want to. I don’t want the other guys, I want you with all your flaws and weird ways. I want you, when you’re silent, I want you when you’re in that far away headspace of yours, I want you when you close your shirts all the way up to your neck like a nerd and you’re still the man I look for in the crowd. I want you holding my hand and hugging me and asking for a kiss.

I want you to be my family, my in case of emergency, the father of my children, the one who holds me at night when I get anxious. My speed dial.

G:

How flighty are feelings. I fell in love quickly with another man. He’s not you, he’s all himself. A beautiful man, one I’ve been so close in proximity to all my life. He has always been here, hovering. A new meaning for constant. He smiles and holds my hand, steady. He walks proudly next to me and he calms me down. He rides with the wind. He makes me feel free, like I could build and keep building a future with him without feeling tainted. His eyes are the dark night yet they shine and catch the sun, he laughs like an idiot sometimes but I love it. The way he holds me, like I’ve arrived home, like he has been waiting for me, like a warm soup on a wintery night. I imagine this man in all aspects of my life, he just fits in effortlessly.

I felt fear the other day, gut wrenching fear when I thought that I could lose this man. I don’t want this man, I need him in my life. It scared me, how one misstep could lead to us to not work anymore. I feel potential and above all, truth when I look in his eyes.

I keep getting thoughts of you, what ifs slithering in my brain. Then I look at him and I know, I realise that the truth, the present and not the what ifs are real, are tangible and feel like I’m biting into a little slice of happiness. That little garage of his, its growing to become my safe sanctuary.

He wants to teach me stuff, to do everything, he pushes me, I’m afraid I’ll break in his arms. I feel so fragile yet so safe. I trust him with my life. He looks at me, sometimes shyly, sometimes smiling but always with a certainty and that calms all the storms in me.

He holds me tight, mending me. I’m in love with the man, with everything about him. I never thought I could receive and be ready to give a love like this.

Time flew by and the I mistook the hits for kisses and the snide remarks for compliments. I got used to not being his priority but I persevered because when I switch on the light he’s a good boy. I filled up with contempt and sadness. I closed myself away from the world. Looking in the mirror and not believing I ended up here, in outer space, in an outsider’s home feeling alone. Looking in the mirror and not recognising my emotionally bruised self.

I filled up with guilt that I could ever choose someone else over you, that by letting me free, you bruised your heart. It was always the right, forever soul wrenching, it will change your life love but at the wrong time and place with us. You have always been the man for me please scratch any doubts that you never were. I should have told you that you were that and more. You are everything! Now we’re on opposite ends of the globe, separated by more than timezones. I’m teary and emotionally shattered, only god knows where you are and I’m dreaming of you again. I close my eyes and we’re under the stars on that particular beach again. I lit a black candle of hope again and it’s smothering me with its billowing smoke.

You still haven’t forgotten me but now my mind is playing tricks on me. It’s over analysing your words and it’s divinating what you want to mean. You’re keeping me at arm’s length and I understand, it’s all I deserve for this guilt I forgot the source of.

I might have broken your heart by trying to find a love that was ready to be present, always. I’m afraid of the hate and the hurt you might have harboured in your heart in my regard. I only ever wanted to bring joy and I always felt like a burden from childhood up till the day I lay waiting for my friend, death. I hope you’re happy, not just on a surface level but you’re letting that happiness seep into your pores, down to your very core. You deserve nothing but pure joy and all things good. I love you. It’s been a soul wrenching love. I promised myself we will meet again and I will be yours. Maybe you will shatter my heart in tiny, little, crystal fragments or maybe you’ll embalm me in serenity. Maybe the idea of you kept me hopeful, in a state of control. You might have evolved into a different man.