#he loves and hates his little bastards

[kankuroplease]

The reason madara has his hair short in tsau is to avoid the ponytail

His kids had an intervention on him walking around like a wild man.

Shisui: you LOOK like a criminal, old man.

Obito: you do.

Madara: says the two insufferable ingrates that haven’t met a top button they know how to use.

Michi: What they mean to say is, you could look even more dashing with a modern hair cut, father.

Momiji: Hashirama and Mito would love a new look for you, too~

Madara: I don’t have time for this nonsense—

Mingxia: I brought my stylist tools with me this time, we can totally give dad a makeover today.

Michi and Shisui: MAKEOVER!!

Madara: wait—

Obito: get rid of some of those outdated suits too. Me and Kakashi can order you some new ones.

Madara: I don’t need new suits!

Momiji: aww don’t worry, daddy. Your in good hands 🤭

[lovesickeros]

☆ even the gods bleed [ pt 2 ]

{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings none {☆} word count 1.9k {☆} previous [ 1 ]

This had to be a punishment of some sort – some kind of divine punishment.

She was bored out of her mind just watching the sleeping body – she hadn't blinked once in the past five hours, her eyes were really starting to hurt. Yet they still hadn't moved so much as an inch since she sequestered them away to the only place she had known to be safe.

But it'd been almost a week since then.

The only solace she found was that Teyvat had seemed much less hellbent on collapsing in on itself like a dying star.

That counted for something.

Not much, but something!

..Even if their position was no better then it was a week ago.

There was, after all, still the issue of what to do about the false Creator – the actual imposter – and the Archons following them like blind lambs. The other Archons wouldn't listen if she tried to reason with them, and it would only risk the life of Divine One if she spoke of their location to anyone else.

She also was pretty fond of having her head still attached to her shoulders.

So she avoided them all together. Partially because she wasn't sure she wouldn't have a breakdown at the sight of them..she'd never been a fighter, and fighting an Archon? Easy pass.

Instead she was forced to babysit the sleeping Divine until they woke up while Neuvillette handled taking care of the nation and dealing with the other Archons – and by extension the false Creator.

Really though, she would almost think them dead if not for the subtle rise and fall of their chest.

Though..this also left her with a lot of time to herself. A lot of time to think.

She really didn't like it.

There wasn't a lot to occupy her mind and what little there was only distracted her for a scant few moments before her eyes drifted back to the Divine like she was locked in their orbit, unable to escape.

She closed the same book for the twelfth time – she kept count – and returned it to it's meticulously designed place within her bookcase. A low, barely audible huff of frustration escaped her lips before she could bite it down, her stare boring a hole into the body of the Divine One with a sharp intensity she rarely showed.

She was tired, bored and constantly on edge, fearing that at any moment someone would find out about their presence here.

That, at the drop of a hat, she would be powerless to stop the greatest tragedy of her time play out before her eyes.

Neuvillette would have scolded her for being so petulant, especially around the Divine One, if he were here.

But he wasn't.

He was out running her nation, instead.

And what was she doing? Nothing!

She grit her teeth, nails digging harshly into the palm of her hands as she took a deep breath – now was not the time to think about that. She had..much more pressing matters. Sulking and letting her thoughts spiral helped no one, least of all herself.

Yet her attention was caught by a harsh inhale, the rustle of fabric – were they finally waking up? She was exhausted, but it all vanished at the sudden drop of life within the otherwise deathly still body of the Divine.

Her eyes followed the subtle twitch of their fingers, watching as their brow furrowed and their features twisted in something almost like..pain.

..She wasn't ready.

What was she supposed to say?

Should she even say anything? Would that be considered impolite? Does she wait for them to speak first? Should she kneel? Bow?

She doesn't get much time to find her own answer before their lashes flutter, chest heaving with every strangled breath. Every single thought vanishes from her mind the moment she meets their eyes.

For a long, silent moment she thinks that her heart must have stopped.

Their eyes glow like the cresting of the sun over the horizon, painting the world in hues of gold – yet it also reminded her of the dipping of the moon below the waves, casting the briefest, most gentle of lights upon the world engulfed in darkness. In the depths of their eyes was the birth and death of stars in the infinite cosmos – glittering stars in a sea of empty, blank space that left her feeling lightheaded and breathless.

Beneath the splendor is a spark of recognition in their eyes so vibrant it was like a shooting star piercing through the dark night sky, leaving nothing but the wonder in the eyes of the observer as the only proof it ever existed – brilliant in it's beauty, however brief.

It is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen.

"Focalors?"

The lilt of their voice nearly made her knees buckle beneath her – euphoria so consuming it left her feeling she was starving swallowed her whole, her mind blanking in a moment of utter bliss. It was..an indescribable feeling that she doubted she could ever hope to put into words – not in a way that could properly express it, try as she might.

She swallowed the words that threatened to spill from her lips – she couldn't make a fool of herself. Not in front of them of all people. She'd never forgive herself.

"Divine One," She rasps, clearing her throat and covering her mouth with a hand to mask both her nervousness and the small smile that creeps across her face. She quickly regains her composure, hand resting on her hip as she puffs out her chest with every bit of pride she can manage. "I am sure you must be confused, but worry not– your most loyal acolyte has seen the truth!"

The silence is deafening.

She opens one eye, peaking at the bewildered and almost distraught expression of the Divine.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

That..she was not prepared for. Surely they knew who they were! Surely they knew. They had to– she's been praying to them for as long as she's breathed, she's dedicated every hour of her life to living up to their ideals, they can't just–!

"Lady Furina?"

Neuvillette, thankfully, spares her the embarrassment of having a meltdown in front of the Divine, the gentle rap of his knuckles against the door making her and the Divine pause, the soft lull of his voice soothing her nerves and yet setting her on edge at the same time.

"Neuvillette." She clears her throat again, her steps hurried as she marches to the door and pries it open none too gently, a forced smile pulling at her lips. She wastes no time tugging the man into the room, shutting the door behind him with a short huff. The silence is, somehow, even worse then before as the three of them stare at each other in absolute exasperation.

Neuvillette, for his part, manages to get his act together with a sharp clearing of his throat, bowing so low even she looks unnerved. She steals a brief glance at the Divine, and she's taken aback by the uncomfortability twisting their features into a grimace.

Their expression is schooled back into one of empty apathy when he stands back to his full height, but she saw it – she knows she did! Did they not like their worship? Were they not respectful enough? For a moment, she feared the Divine would smite Neuvillette down on the spot..but they just stared at him like he was a ghost.

"Why aren't you killing me?"

The defeated, resigned tone combined with the way their voice cracks makes her heart ache in her chest – it feels as though her entire world is crumbling down at her feet, and she cannot explain why she feels such emotions so strongly, but it is suffocating. It is almost as if Teyvat itself is weeping, bearing down upon her shoulders like a heavy weight.

She feels the urge to weep herself, but she powers through, gritting her teeth long enough for Neuvillette to take his place at the side of her – though it feels more like their – bed, kneeling like he was going to pray.

"Divine One," He offers a hand with a quiet rumble of his voice, the words slipping off his tongue like honey. It's like trying to soothe a stray cat..though she'd never voice such comparisons of the most Divine out loud. "I..we mean you no harm. I swear on my authority as the Iudex of Fontaine and Chief Justice that you are safe with us."

The skepticism she expected, but the reverence in which Neuvillette must convince them – or perhaps they are simply so tired that they simply did not care any longer if it was all some ploy to drive a knife between their ribs. She didn't expect them to actually place their hand in Neuvillette's.

He didn't either, judging by the way he visibly brightened – not that they'd notice, but she did.

..Not that she could really blame him, her heels clicking against the floorboards as she shifted her weight to the other foot with a nervous energy that was practically bursting at the seams, more then a little jealous of the attention he was receiving. She was the one who found them, she was the one who stayed with them the entire time..but he gets all the attention?

How unfair.

"O-of course! We would never lay a hand on our creator," She adds, her voice a little higher pitched then she would have liked as she placed her hands on her hips, puffing out her chest and brushing off the sting of jealousy. "Least of all I– your most loyal, most devout acolyte!"

She felt baffled when she heard the sound of their laughter, her shoulders hunching and her cheeks flushing on mere instinct – she was expecting mockery, but the look in their eyes, still dulled by a pain she cannot even begin to imagine, made her hesitate.

..It was, perhaps, the most genuine thing she'd heard from them ever since before the hunt began.

She wasn't sure why her heart hurt at such an idea, but it was enthralling to see the beginnings of a half hearted smile on their lips.

For a moment, her mask of theatrics was forgotten as she stared at them in a mixture of awe and adoration– and though she didn't look at Neuvillette, she could imagine he must've shared such an expression.

Had she any doubts that they were her Creator, that they alone were the most Divine..they would wiped clean now. There was no mistaking the way the world itself seemed to grow clearer as they glanced up at her like she was worth something.

For a moment, she realized how cold the false Creators gaze had been now that she has felt warmth so gentle it almost made her knees buckle beneath her. It felt like a pale imitation, now.

Nothing could compare to the warmth that spread through her body at the mere semblance of a smile upon their lips. She didn't even mind if it was her they were laughing at anymore, she just wanted to hear them laugh again.

She'd make a fool of herself, if she had to.

She'd never felt so..ravenous for such a thing, but just the briefest glimpse was addictive.

She simply couldn't help herself from striding across the room and clasping their free hand in her own, her smile wide enough to unnerve as she leaned her weight onto the bed. For a moment, she considered pulling away at the way they startled, but her mind was made up by then – there was no going back.

"Again."

[cloudcountry]

belphie blaming humans for liliths death is like someone getting hit by a car and hating cars so much that they blow up a train. it makes no sense

[mooshofish]

Guys I’m cooking up something fierce…

Bastard München Ocean Universe

PXG is absolutely next

Edit: PXG, Barcha, and Manshine are all complete!

[talentforlying]

tbh i think the coldest and most shocking thing that can happen in an argument with this man is if you call him "john" and he corrects you to "constantine". biggest red flag you can find on the play. sounds pretentious when you're not experiencing it. means he's absolutely fucking furious with you.

[snakes-on-skates]

a while ago i saw this human bill design on tiktok and omg i love it so so so much 😭 i freak out every time i see it my thoughts immediately switch from normal to AUGGHHHH STOPPPPPPPPPP I HATE HIM SO MUCH HES THE WORST HES AWFUL WHAT A FREAK

[irregularbillcipher]

“doomed by the narrative” this, “doomed by the narrative” that, literally none of your blorbos are him

[lazyblogposter]

Hello Pacman Tumblr, I present to you the bastard who singlehandedly ruined my taste in men

[poisoned-pearls]

okay I now can elaborate on the thoughts I was talking abt in the tags of my last post-

Jamil has always hated being touched, and physical contact in general. He was raised around kalim, he's had enough hugs for a lifetime, thank you.

well, that is until he started dating Azul.

Azul is very clingy. Physically, at least. He is an octopus, after all. He finds comfort in just, having any kind of contact with someone. It keeps him grounded and focused. So once he has permission, he can and will hang off of Jamil every chance he gets. Jamil doesn't like holding hands (because his training has instilled the need to constantly have them free just in case) so Azul hangs off of his elbow. If they're in class, Azul either has his hand on top of his arm or his hand. 

and Jamil realizes... he doesn't mind it. In fact, he enjoys it. Way more than he thinks he should in fact. It relaxes him so much that it almost unnerves him (the first time he found himself dozing off while Azul laid in his lap doing god knows what he quite literally shoved him off in shock.)

belatedly, he figures out that he is in fact, VERY touch starved, he is just very particular about how someone touches him.

it's silence. He likes silence. Azul rarely ever talks when he's laying with him, usually doing other work or something for the Monstro lounge. When kalim would run up and hug him, he knew it just meant he was about to be bombarded with questions and ideas and statements and work. He never gets to relax with Kalim. It always came with noise, with chaos. While being around Azul was like lying on the beach, with nothing but the soft crashes of the waves to bother him.

(Of course, this wasn't every time. Azul was still a schemer and quite annoying, but he quickly learned that if Jamil wasn't in the mood to entertain his ramblings or schemes, he'd simply shove him off of his lap. It always made Azul quite disgruntled, but he'd take the hint and shut up.)

This also lead into another thing: Their forms of nonverbal communication. Azul and Jamil could easily have a whole conversation from opposite sides of a room when they got along. Jamil knew all of Azul’s little ticks (like whenever he fucking clicks, something he learned was an octopus thing (which begged the question of how the fuck he made that noise in his human form-) or when he randomly slaps Jamil or the twins, who then immediately told him it was a sign of affection and he should be immensely flattered over (apparently it was something he only ever did lightly with friends, which he has concerningly little of. But Jamil doesn’t know if he has much room to talk on that front.) and Azul knew Jamil’s. Azul almost knew his too well, in fact, but every time Jamil tried to ask him about it he was simply met with some comment about how ‘he simply couldn’t keep his eyes off of him.’

Jamil still didn’t like people touching him.

Azul was an exception though. And he was quite happy about that.

[ambreiiigns]

btw rick and morty makes me insane bc no one Gets it people who don't wanna watch it (like me! before my brother made me watch it in exchange of him watching sk8 the infinity w me!) are like ugh problematique bad #edgy dark humor adult cartoon for reddit bros 🙄 but then the reddit bros who watch it & became the main representatives for its audience are like haha pickle rick wooo you need high iq I Relate To Rick Sanchez Deeply and he's like the joker to them and he's a king and an icon of alpha males somehow???? but like. neither of those people understand that rick and morty is actually about Nobody Exists On Purpose. Nobody Belongs Anywhere. Everybody's Gonna Die. Come Watch TV?

[dirtytransmasc]

self indulgent got concept.

Ned brings Jon home, Cat hates the boy, everything stays the same... until Robert Baratheon is charging through the halls of Winterfell looking for the babe, ready to butcher the poor thing where he lay helpless in his cradle.

in a matter of moments Catelyn learns three things:

The babe was never a bastard, Ned had only lied to her to protect Jon, and that she would die before she let Robert lay a finger on the babe she'd previously wished death upon.

cue Catelyn Stark snatching Jon from his cradle, holding him, protecting him, loving him as she would her own son, risking it all to keep him safe, all care for herself thrown to the wind.

like they say, what a mother's love holds no bounds, and what it makes her capable of had no limits.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

oh no I stopped working for five minutes and remembered I love he...................... ;;

[yesthefandomfreakblr]

Ripred is not above being a sugar baby but he'd be a really shitty one.

[magentagalaxies]

the number of truly surreal conversations scott and i had today has got to be some sort of record like even counting when we spent basically 24 hours together on tour. shoutout to me making scott laugh while looking for random props at goodwill by referring to a kids toy as a "doll hemorrhoid pillow"

[tiredassmage]

Lensen Ryaldar - aka my “ah fuck, I’ve fallen in love with this absolute bastard and his devilish good looks anyway” (despite many poor and questionable decisions) collection, KOTET edition and in no particular order.

[fideidefenswhore]

Did most of Henry's court dislike Elizabeth just because she was the daughter of Anne Boleyn? Do you think that she was bullied by them growing up?

No, I think very few disliked her, for that reason or otherwise (Observant Friars, the Aragonese and later Marian, factions, notwithstanding). She was literally a child, and after 1544 she was officially third in line to the throne, & once Edward VI became King, second in line. There's the argument that most would have revered Mary more, for at least habit's reason (she had been acknowledged Princess for the first seventeen years of her life, versus Elizabeth's scant three); but Elizabeth would have probably been revered, too. All the reports of her as a child, both when Anne was Queen and after her death and disgrace, spoke of her 'towardness', her gravity, her intelligence, her grace, politesse and charm...even Chapuys, after the death of his bete noire, admitted she was a pretty child.

Who would have been brave enough to bully a King's daughter (who wasn't exiled, wasn't in disgrace, see, Mary 1533-36), later, a King's sister, really? What would it have gained them? There were probably some sidelong glances and speech in Edward VI's reign, but that would've had more to do with the drama with Thomas Seymour, and there was outright hostility towards her in Mary I's reign, but that was likely courtiers emulating their sovereign.