#he played Do Contra so well

[bat-the-misfit]

my dream is to be best friends with someone whose favorite character is the brother of MY favorite character

[crxss01]

if miles 42 is a boob guy 1610 fs an ass dude he appricates tits js loves ass n lays on it

— Comfort Pillows (Reprise)

pairing ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ 1610! miles morales x reader

summary ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ miles loves using your ass as a stress ball and as a pillow too.

warnings ✧˖ ° squeezing + touching of ass, cuddling, this miles being an ass guy.

m. list, main m. list.

translations ✧࿓☾ bebè: baby, contra: damn, hermosa: gorgeous, bonito: handsome/or pretty boy.

a/n . . ◟੭ hey, sweet anon! i absolutely agree with you. this is the definition of balance, hope you enjoy! this is the e-42 miles boobs version.

miles gave you a cheeky grin and you immediately knew what he was thinking.

"no." you said.

"come on, bebè." he whined. "just turn around."

"we are good like this." you motioned to his position between your legs with his chin on your chest (at the moment).

"yeah, i love this but i also want to..." miles got shy all of a sudden, looking away. "you know."

you smirked at this. "say the reason and i will turn." you challenged, knowing that this would be a little hard for him.

"contra," he cursed. "don't do this to me."

"you're doing this to yourself, darling." you shook your head. "just tell me why you want me to turn."

"why are you like this?" miles said, voice coming out muffled due to the fact that he had buried his face in your chest.

“well if you want something, you have to ask.” you said simply. “it’s not that hard to do, bonito.”

miles pulled his head back up and took a deep breath, glaring at you. “i want to touch and lay on your a-ass.” he had only struggled with the last bit, a new record.

“now, that wasn’t so bad, huh?” you grinned, hiding your laugh.

“be quiet,” miles huffed, sitting up so that you could turn.

when you were finally laying on your front and making yourself comfortable because you were going to be like this for a while, you lifted your head to look back at miles who was just frozen.

“miles, don’t make me turn back around.” you warned.

the boy who had just stared at your ass as soon as it came into his view, snapped out of it and immediately put one of his hands on each cheek. “i love this.” he squeezed.

after a few squeezes that you secretly enjoyed, miles finally laid down his head on one of your cheeks while he kept a handful of the other and squeezed here and there.

you started to drift off after a few minutes went by and you thought the same was happening for miles and that he was subconsciously squeezing your ass at this point but he proved you wrong.

“hermosa, can i?” his fingers played with the hem at the bottom of your sleep shorts.

“yes, bonito.” you agreed.

you felt him smile against you then his hand slipped up under your shorts and underwear, he sighed as if relieved by this.

“much better….” miles murmured as he massaged your ass and gave it a couple of squeezes here and there. “i just love our ass.”

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ reblogs are really appreciated!

[milla-frenchy]

Wolf like me

2k2 | Joel Miller x fem reader Summary: you meet someone who finally fills the void in you Warnings: 18+ mdni. Darkish. rough sex, oral (m/f), facial, self abandonment, toxic relationship, possessiveness, jealousy, spitting, biting, manhandling, unprotected piv, rimming, ass play, anal, creampie, reader is looking for pain, Joel is not particularly nice and not caring either. No age specified. a/n: @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog thank you for beta-ing me, and hearing me whine 😭💕🫶 There are Joels that are particularly physically powerful, brutal, and sexually aggressive. I call them “beast!Joel” 😍🥵 Here they are: Carnal @pascalsbby | Daddy Joel & A day in the filth @toxicanonymity | Lost in the dark @iamasaddie. Thank you for these awesome fics 🙏❤️ Here’s mine :) The title is from Wolf like me by TV on the radio

ao3 | masterlist | part 2

Joel was pretty well known at the QZ. He had the reputation of a distant man, not meddling in other people's affairs and hating people meddling in his own. He carried out the worst tasks, those that paid the most. It was impossible to know what shenanigans he was getting into with Tess, the woman he was often seen with. Impossible to know why he sometimes met FEDRA soldiers on the sidelines, but without really hiding it, as if he knew that no one would dare bother him.

You worked for Robert and you knew that his relationship with Joel was tense. So for some time now, when Robert needed something from Joel, he went through you. Every time you met him, Joel lived up to his reputation. He grumbled more than spoke, he was not very verbose, he did not bother with manners and was barely polite. He used to roll his eyes an embarrassing number of times at you, like you were the stupidest person in the world. However, he didn't impress you, and one day, you caught a grin when you responded to him in a biting tone.

That’s probably how you ended up on your knees in front of him one evening, his cock in your mouth and his fist clenched in your hair. His massive hand on the back of your head holding you exactly how he wanted, while he was fucking your throat without worrying about the tears forming at the corners of your eyes.

He let go of you, and ordered you to get on the bed, “cheek against the pillow and ass in the air.” 

You looked up at him, without immediately obeying, and he pointed to the bed with his chin. You got up and settled in, unable to resist his directive tone. When he knelt behind you, his fat cock in his hand, ready to push it into your core, you freed yourself from his hand, asking him to wait.

“Wait for what exactly, little girl?”

In someone else's mouth, this pet name might have been cute. Or kind. But in his, you felt like a helpless little thing in the hands of a man much more powerful than you.

“Wait until I’m prepared,” you whispered.

“Do you think I’m gonna make love to you, baby girl?”

He tilted his head to the side, waiting for your response which didn't come.

“Cause I don’t make love. I fuck hard. So either you take my fuckin’ cock the way I wanna give it to you, or you get the fuck outta here.”

You let him fuck you the way he wanted, your teeth digging into the flesh of your hand to keep you from screaming, while his fingers were firmly buried in the flesh of your hips. He pulled out just before he came, grabbing your arm for you to follow him to the side of the bed. His feet planted on the ground, he jerked himself into his clenched fist until spurts of cum covered your face.

Stunned by his animality, you didn't move before he pushed you down onto the floor, and he plunged into you, his tongue dipping into your aching pussy. He ate you as he had fucked you just before: like a hungry beast devouring its wounded prey. His fingers were everywhere, on your clit, in your pussy and in your ass. Yours were buried in his curls, clawing at his scalp, making him grunt against your folds until you came, exhausted, and finally relaxed your muscles that had been contracting until then, under the assaults he had inflicted on you.

Of course, he didn't walk you home. He didn’t even say a word to you, to be honest. He barely watched you wipe away the cum that was still on your cheeks.

You continued to meet Joel on Robert's behalf, and you returned to his apartment several times.

Every time he fucked you, you felt like you were being tossed around in dark waters, the movement of which seemed strangely familiar to you. And above all, the feeling gave you the confirmation that you were still alive.

Joel wanted to own, to take. And you wanted to be owned, creating a perfect balance between you. You were giving him everything he wanted. Your body was always adapting to his, whatever hole he thrusted into. He probably licked and smelled every inch of your skin. Left bite marks on your body, as if his cock deep inside you wasn't enough, as if he needed to sink his teeth into your skin. Needed to show everyone that you were his. That you had been claimed. “I want you to use my body whenever and however you want”, you told him once. And he did. Days after days.

As soon as you closed the door to his apartment behind you, you felt that the atmosphere was heavier than usual. He was sitting near the dining room table, facing the front door, and you.

“Who was it?”, he asked, in an annoyed voice, so low you barely heard him, while his fist was clenched on the table.

"Who are you talking about?"

“That boy, with you near the guardhouse this afternoon.” He spat out the sentence, his jaw clenched, the sound of his voice barely reaching your ears.

“He’s one of Robert’s guys, he’s not a boy,” you replied, shrugging your shoulders. He stood up suddenly and slammed you against the wall with surprising agility for a man of his build. His hand pressed against your throat, his face lowered towards you, you only saw his dark eyes.

“You let him fuck you?” he growled, tightening his grip on your throat.

“No, damn, Joel…”, you whispered.

He released his grip slightly and breathed down your neck, then moved up to your ear, as if to make sure that he would only smell your scent on you.

“Mine,” he murmured, his nose in your hair, his hand sliding from your throat to one of your breasts which he grabbed.

“Yours”, you breathed in his ear, your hand clinging to his bicep.

“I’m gonna be brutal, baby doll.”

“I know.”

He unbuttoned his pants, pulling out his hard cock, before grabbing your thighs and lifting you off the ground. He pushed aside the panties under your dress, and positioned his tip at your entrance. He looked at you, daring you with his gaze to tell him to wait. But it’s been a long time now since you asked him to be prepared. You only wanted to feel him more. Always more. And the faster he plunged into you, the more intoxicating the sensation was.

He sank in, his gaze boring into yours as his cock split your pussy. In one push he bottomed out. He pulled back almost all the way and thrusted in again, after tilting his pelvis so that you impaled yourself as deep as possible on his shaft. Breathless, you grabbed his shoulders to try to ease the way you were taking his cock. But he placed his arm against your back and tightened his hand on the back of your neck, trapping you in his embrace. He pounded you against the wall, and you were whimpering at each stroke of his cock.

“You’re mine”, he said again, thrusting in. “You belong to me, only my cock can fuck this cunt. You hear me, little girl?”

“Fuck… Yes Joel! Just you.”

“Not only your cunt. Everything. I want only my smell on you.”

He grabbed your chin in his hand, looking at you questioningly. You nodded and said “only you.”

“Good girl. Come here.”

He released you and grabbed your arm, squeezing it way too tightly with his large hand, before throwing you onto the bed. He was standing in front of you, his pants just under his balls, still covering his thick thighs. His hand was tight on his cock, glistening with your wetness. You could see the vein in his neck pulsing.

He spat into his palm before jerking off harshly while watching you.

“Joel”, you whimpered. “Please I want-”

“You’ll have that cock when I’ll give it to you”, he cut you off.

“Please Joel, use me”, you whined again.

“Jesus, you need my cock that bad? Get on all fours, then. And take off your clothes.”

You undressed and watched him remove his clothes, before waiting for him on your hands and knees. The bed sank under his weight as he knelt behind you. He ran his hands from your neck to the small of your back. He reveled in your eagerness, seeing your ass pushed back towards him. You wanted him to use you, the way he wanted. He placed his cock at your entrance, and thrusted in slowly. So slowly that it was almost more painful than when he would suddenly stick it in you. Like a bandage that you gently remove instead of ripping it off all at once. You felt your pussy spread painfully to let his cock sink in. You felt his skin warming you up from the inside. He kept thrusting, and you realized that you had been holding your breath since he dove in you. You breathed deeply, keeping yourself from moving backwards and impaling yourself on his cock in one blow. You knew he wanted to control the pace, and you wanted him to act that way. You wanted to be in pain, to feel things as intensely as possible, and for as long as possible.

You felt so fragile and vulnerable, with his massive hands on you and his cock piercing you. And at the same time, you had never felt so safe. Nothing could happen to you, with him.

Finally his cock bottomed out and you gasped. He pulled back and thrusted in with a brutal move this time, as you reflexively leaned forward. He tightened his embrace, threatening “don’t you dare. You’re gonna take my cock, as I want you to take it.” You bit your lip and nodded.

You heard him spit and you shivered as you felt his saliva reach your ass, his thumb immediately coming up to push it into your ring. You heard him grunt behind your back, guessing his contemplation between keeping fucking your pussy or claiming your ass. With a snort, he pulled out, dipping his tongue against your ass, lapping flat. You heard him jerking off into his fist and part of you hoped to see him desperate to the point of cumming against the sheets without having time to fuck you. But his primal instinct for possession was the strongest, and he positioned himself against your ring once he felt you would be able to take it.

He pushed, and you waited quietly, controlling your breath, until the tip was fully in.

“Oh fuck, Joel…”

“Always ready to take it in your ass, right?”

“I…fuck. Yeah. I can always take it.”

“Good girl”, he praised, as he thrusted in suddenly, the brutality of his action clashing with the sound of his voice. You didn't have time to say a word, he was already pulling back before burying himself again, showing you once more that you were his, pinching your hips, and you knew that the morning after your skin there would be blue.

“Turn around, I want to see your face while I fuck your ass,” he said, pulling back and manhandling you to turn around.

You lay on your back, and he grabbed the back of your knees to bring them closer to your shoulders before thrusting in. The position made the penetration so deep that you thought he was actually going to tear you in half. His growls were more animalistic than human and you lost yourself in their sounds. 

“Look”, he said. “Look at my cock, ruining your ass.”

He pulled his torso away from yours and you looked down, where your bodies were one.

“Fuck, baby doll. Look. You’re taking it so good.”

“Joel... Let off all your steam. Use me for that.”

“Shit you’re…you never get enough of that cock.”

He fucked you, probably harder than ever, and you couldn't feel your body anymore.

“Lose yourself in me”, he told you, looking at you as if he was reading you. “I’m here for it”, he added. You came, hearing him, your clit rubbing against his lower stomach.

Burying in your ass, he grabbed your wrists with one hand and held them above your head, placing his mouth against your armpit, licking away the beads of sweat hidden there and growling against your skin.

“Jo…fuck. Joel.”

“Mmmm?”, he growled.

“The sounds you make, when you fuck me. I…- fuck.. I feel so full - …I love these sounds.”

For the first time, you thought you saw a loss of control in him, and you tried to catch his gaze. When he froze inside you and shot the hot spurts of cum into your ass, all you could think about was the dark waves you were floating in, and you came a second time on his cock.

You got dressed and as you were leaving he grabbed you, holding you against him like no one had ever done before. He held you so tight that it was painful, but you would have let him crack one of your ribs if it would allow you to continue this embrace. When he released you, you tried to meet his gaze again, but he had already turned away from you.

When you got back to your apartment, you knew you were screwed. Fucking with him, letting him use you in any possible way, was no longer enough.

Part 2

********************

Thank you for reading 🙏

Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated ❤️

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[needtoloveoutloud]

Shadows Of Our Past, Present, and (possible) Future — Series

My Hero Academia — Female!OC Fanfiction on AO3

Part One (Completed — 93k words):

The one where Shota Aizawa stumbles upon a back alley full of stray cats and ends up adopting a child

“Fine, then a cat? We both know how much you love those little furry…things.” At this, Shota paused the game and turned to the pushy blonde next to him. “I actually have considered that.” “And?” “And: also, no. It makes no sense.” Hizashi looked almost scandalized. “Makes no sense?” “I made a pro and contra list.” “Of course you did.”

When underground hero Shota Aizawa, twenty-two years old, is out on patrol one Friday evening, he doesn't expect that a single meow from a cat would lead him to find a homeless girl called Yoru. From then on, Yoru and Shota grow up together, make mistakes together, and try to overcome every obstacle life throws at them.

>> Read on AO3 <<

Part Two (Ongoing, regular updates — growing long fic — 231k words so far — READ PART 1 FIRST, PLEASE AND THANK YOU):

The one where Yoru Aizawa tries to navigate through life at U.A.

Two days after her fifteenth birthday, Yoru decides to drop the bomb on him. “I want to go to U.A.” “You want to go to U.A.” Her Dad puts the book he's been reading down on the glass balcony table.  “Yes, I want to go to U.A.” She slumps down on the outdoor couch next to him, grabbing the discarded book. “What are you reading?” ‘A Book of Five Rings by Miyamoto Musashi — The classic guide to strategy ’. She raises an eyebrow. “Reading that for fun, huh?” “Why do you want to go to U.A.? You never cared much about heroes. Besides Edgeshot, that is.” Yoru smirks up at him. “What, jealous?” “As if.” “You know, even if they sold Eraserhead posters, I wouldn’t hang them up. It would be super weird.” “Good to know where your loyalties lie.” He rolls his eyes. “Back to the topic at hand, why do you want to go to U.A.? Because Shinso wants to go?” “No.” Pause. “Okay, that may be part of it. But I’m serious. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, and I really want to go.” “That might be so, but you still neglected to tell me why you want to attend there.” Yoru plays with her hair, noting how it’s time for another hair cut when she finds some splint ends. “I wanna be a hero.” Her Dad blinks. “A hero?” “Yes. Well, I want to help people and do some good with that shitty quirk of mine.”

When Yoru tells her Dad that she wants to attend U.A., she expects it to be a difficult path. She didn't expect all the awkwardness, blossoming friendships, confusing feelings, and near-death experiences, though.

>> Read on AO3 <<

Please heed the warnings/tags (TWs in the author's notes of chapters where they apply to).

This story is a mix of:

Slice of life

Hurt/Comfort

Angst/Fluff

Humor

Dadzawa

SLOW BURN Romance — Enemies to Lovers (Bakugo x Yoru)

Growing up, coming of age (hopefully lol)

Teenage awkwardness

Mixed media (pictures, music, chat screenshots (later on in Part 2), etc. — chat screenshots will always have the written text below, to make it accessible for visually impaired folks or people who use screen readers)

Author: NoBecksPleaseNo on AO3

Please don't copy the work, the character, the premise, etc. Also, no cross-posting anywhere, please and thank you.

Disclaimer: Yoru's image is AI generated and then edited/adjusted by the author. The other character images in the header are from Pinterest (besides the one of Present Mic/Midnight, that one's from the light novels) — unfortunately without a source. If you're the artist, and you're not okay with me using them, please message me and I will remove them. If you're the artist and are okay with me using them, please tell me, so I can credit you.

Besides the OC characters, I don't own any already existing characters from the My Hero Academia Universe — that honor belongs to Kohei Horikoshi.

[paingoes]

Rubies

Asking

“Aegre fero” here has a double meaning of “I’m sorry” and “It hurts”. Taking some license with the Latin I think. Forgive me.

(Content: living weapon whumpee, comfort!!!, crying, past trauma, conditioning, malnutrition mention, emotional whump, abuse mention, rocky recovery)

=========

Apollo readjusted the dials on the old receiver. He clicked in between the channels of the small device, listening in as best he could through the static. The sheer range of Galatea’s radio always impressed him. 

“-off the Western side now, escalating-“

“-running out of provisions! Just a reminder-“

“-tell Contra if she doesn’t fix her damn-“

“-worst summer in years, but not like-“

“-does anyone not need their kidney-“

Delta came out of his room, slipping quietly out into the hall. His short hair was hard to get used to. It was actually kind of curly when it wasn’t weighed down. Apollo thought it was cute. His expression was totally unreadable, but that was about typical for him. 

“Hey.” Apollo pulled one of the earbuds out. He didn’t move much beyond that. Delta had gotten comfortable enough that he didn’t feel the need to fuss after him nor the impulse to coax him out of hiding. It’d be better to stay still, not spook him too much.

Delta skirted the edge of the couch carefully and knelt down onto the carpet. He folded his arms on the cushion, resting his head down on top of them. It hid his face. Apollo took out the other earbud, leaning forward.

“You okay, bud?” Apollo’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. Delta hadn’t knelt for him in a while. He’d thought that he was getting out of the habit. Delta nodded, his face still buried in the cushion. Not speaking, but that was also to be expected.

“Do you want to sit up here?” Apollo offered, just in case he needed to be reminded that he was allowed to. He shook his head for no.

“…Okay. Let me know if you need anything, alright?” He only put one earbud back in. Delta spoke so softly, he didn’t want to miss it. He wasn’t going to force him to talk about it, if there was anything to talk about at all. Delta needed to do what made him feel safe. As odd as the behavior seemed to him, he wasn’t going to correct it. 

He turned his attention back to the radio, but kept his sights on Delta to see if there was any change. His eyes widened as he noticed the small hitches along his shoulders. He was definitely crying.

“Hey, hey.” Apollo put the radio aside on the couch, sliding down onto the floor. He touched Delta’s arm lightly, “C’mere.”

It was all the invitation he needed. Delta shifted off of the couch and into Apollo’s arms, burying his face in his chest. Small sobs wracked his body. Apollo was surprised at how silent he was being in spite of this. He made shushing noises reflexively, even though there was no sound. He felt the fabric of his shirt marginally tighten as Delta gripped it. 

“Aegre fero.” Delta’s voice wavered. It was only when he spoke that Apollo could hear just how much trouble he was having breathing. He carded his hands through his hair.

“It’s okay. Deep breaths, yeah? Four-seven-eight,” he said. Delta knew how. Apollo had caught him doing them alone before, unprompted. He was clearly used to being the only one to calm himself down. Apollo’s heart ached at the thought of him sitting up whenever they had kept him, forcing himself stable for somebody else’s sake. Still, he slowed his breathing, picking up the pattern. From where Delta was curled into his chest, he should’ve been able to hear it well. His shoulder blades gradually steadied. The shaking stopped. He didn’t let go.

“Do you…like when I play with your hair?” Apollo’s hands stilled. He realized he’d never actually gotten permission to touch it. He probably should have. Delta nodded slowly. His face was still hidden. Apollo continued to run his hands through it. It was very soft — and seemed to be a lot healthier than it had been when they’d first picked him up. He was proud of that, the way the malnutrition symptoms were gradually fading. He had missed cooking for people.

It took a while before Delta would pull away. His face was flushed when he did, eyes bleary. He looked down like he was ashamed. Apollo patted the couch cushion.

“Sit up, sweetheart.”

Delta climbed onto the couch, pulling his legs up to his chest. He was always more responsive when given direct orders. Apollo didn’t want to force him, but honestly, his joints couldn’t take any more time on the floor. He stood up himself, disappearing briefly to retrieve a cup of water. He brought back the burner phone too, passing both of them to Delta.

~

It was mortifying. When had he ever cried? He could count on one hand the number of times he had done it over the last two years. On two hands, he could count the last decade. Now it was like he couldn’t stop. He wasn’t supposed to behave like this. He had learned, so early on, that he was not supposed to behave like this.

It had felt so nice to be held for a second.

Mortifying.

Apollo sat back down on the couch and opened the IRC program. The burner phone buzzed in Delta’s hand. He unlocked it.

sunspot: Hey

nodiving: hi

nodiving: sorry

sunspot: Do you want to talk about it?

nodiving: i dont know

nodiving: i dont know whats wrong with me

nodiving: im not supposed to be like this

sunspot: Be like what?

nodiving: pathetic

sunspot: Why do you think it’s pathetic?

nodiving: because it is

“That’s circular logic,” Apollo said aloud. Delta typed faster.

nodiving: im not supposed to need anything and i usually dont

nodiving: now i have to keep bothering you for everything even things that dont matter

nodiving: im sorry

He began to type something else, but couldn’t bring himself to. He knew he should be punished for it. For having the audacity to even take notice of the emotion, let alone make it someone else’s problem. He should’ve just stayed in his room until it passed. 

sunspot: Everyone needs things. 

sunspot: I’ve been telling you this entire time to please come to me if you need anything

sunspot: Thank you for trusting me enough to take me up on that

Delta blushed, his fingers idle about the device. Apollo looked him up and down.

“When you say ‘things that don’t matter’,” he ventured cautiously, “You mean your own feelings?”

Feelings. The word itself sounded childish to him. He was supposed to be above it, as cold and mechanical as they’d trained him to be. But his skin was still damp where he’d been crying. It was a little late for that.

He nodded. Apollo couldn’t be mad at him for it; Delta already acknowledged their own worthlessness. It wasn’t a lie.

“Okay,” Apollo said softly, “I understand why you would think that. Nobody’s had much regard for them throughout your life. But it’s not true. Your feelings do matter. It was wrong for anybody to make you feel like they didn’t.”

No they don’t. Delta hid his face in his hands. He shouldn’t need this. He recoiled from the words as if they had burned him. No they don’t.

“I know you might not believe me right now. That’s okay. I’m still really proud of you for coming to me with this instead of trying to deal with it alone. Even if you think it’s not important, I still want to know what you’re feeling. It matters to me.”

Awful.

“Delta?”

“Yes, sir.” He nodded, showing he had heard. Not that he agreed, just that he’d heard.

Apollo paused while he caught his breath. It took a lot of effort to try and recover from what he’d just said. It still burned.

“Do you want to try?” Apollo encouraged.

Delta nodded, picking the phone back up. He typed slowly and decisively.

nodiving: nothing caused it

nodiving: im just sad

“Thank you. That’s a really good start, Delta. I know you’re not…used to talking. So maybe you don’t have all the vocabulary you need for it right now?”

Delta’s eyes narrowed at that, the mention of vocabulary. He wasn’t stupid. He read books.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. I know you’re smart.” Apollo raised his hands in mock surrender. “Your technical skill is advanced. You’re great at arguing. I know. All I’m saying is that you probably don’t have a lot of practice talking about this kind of thing. It might be difficult at first. And that has nothing to do with your intellect.”

That was objectively true. He had no idea what to describe what was happening to him, not with all the words he knew. He thought of the one that had shocked him most when they first suggested it. Abuse. He knew the definition. He did not see how it could slot into his life. Many of the words they used triggered that same uneasy feeling in him. Chess-piece. Feelings. Love. 

Most days, he could barely talk at all.

“I’m...gonna get you some CBT workbooks or something. We can work on it more later. Is there anything you need for right now though? Anything that normally helps?”

He didn’t know anything that would help. He’d never felt like this before. Whatever it was, it seemed like it was receding. The mood had passed.

He realized that crying might’ve helped. Touch. Talking. All the things he’d never been allowed before. All the things he thought he didn’t need.

Mortifying.

…………

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety

[max1461]

Thought for a moment in the 2010s that we were entering a new serious era (e.g. 1920s, 30s, 40s), but it seems that we're instead in an increasingly tacky era (50s, 60s, 70s). Like look at the change in YouTube. Well you all are textheads you don't do video, I know that. But like. In 2017 there was ContraPoints. Agree or disagree with her opinions, what she was doing was conceptually and aesthetically serious. Even her early, low-production-value stuff. She was talking about incels and other internet shit, but the internet is part of the real world, that's fine. In fact that's what gave me hope for another serious era, people were finally talking about internet stuff the way 1920s German intellectuals or whatever talked about the cultural trends of their day. Maybe because Contra has half a philosophy PhD and was explicitly influenced by those German intellectuals.

Another example from a totally disjoint cultural niche was Digi a.k.a. Trixie a.k.a. Ygg Studios or whatever they go by now. Drunk, smelly, and unkempt—yes. Or at least so went the persona. Talking seriously about anime—also yes. When they claimed they were the only good anime reviewer on the internet it made a lot of people mad. But they were right!

There were thinkers, we had thinkers. My generation, or roughly my generation, had thinkers. To be clear, when I include Contra here I'm not including all of her ilk, I'm not including the leftist-theory-regurgitators and so on. But Contra herself was a thinker! Digi was a thinker! We had thinkers.

But that era is over now, on YouTube at least. I go on there and it's all algorithmic drivel. I look for anime content and as I've explained it's all about #hype and #epic and how the new season of whatever #hits different and other empty meaningless bullshit. No analysis, no thought, fundementally unserious bullshit. Tacky! It's tacky! The the YouTube thumbnail O-face is fucking 70s-ass fake wood paneling tacky bullshit!

MrBeast. I've never seen a MrBeast video but I hate him for what he represents. I used to watch this channel called Wranglerstar, he made videos about different types of axes and forest fire fighting equipment and various other stuff. "Modern homesteading" I believe was the tagline. And it was always evident that he was a far-right guy but who gives a shit, his videos where good. Serious videos about interesting topics, that a fucking normal guy might watch. Well around 2020 he basically started flooding his channel with covid conspiracy bullshit and "the Chinese are going to attack us any day!" bullshit and other unserious crap. And I had to stop watching. How could I find any of that compelling? It's vapid nonsense.

And I don't know if it's a shift in the algorithm or people becoming more savvy to the algorithm or what, but all of YouTube is like this now. Vapid clickbait empty meaningless bullshit for another tacky commercialized bullshit era.

And you know, I felt like it might just be localized to YouTube for a while, but I started to look around, and it just feels like everything is like this. Backsliding to the tacky times. God I hate tackiness. I hate unseriousness. I'm having a little meltdown. At least SMW kaizo hacks are having a renaissance. People are doing serious shit in that space, serious shit that is also not anachronistic, you know, it's kept up with the modern world. It addresses modern concerns (fun to play hard Mario). But it's serious. People are serious. One of the few serious things happening in my orbit.

Even in science it feels like people aren't serious anymore. You know, standard Sabine Hossenfelder complaint about particle physics. But I don't really know enough about that to say. Get the vibe that biology is still serious these days.

To be clear, everything I'm saying here is pure vibes. I'm just saying shit. I'm just saying shit that I feel. But I'll be deeply disappointed if I have to live my youth in another tacky era, god damn it. Even the 80s seem like they were better than this.

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

C/W ::: Sorta sleepy oral M->F, cum // piss on face, piss play (??) heed the warning, please. And planning // prep for more piss play. Over use of italics as usual. What. I like them, ok?

F!reader married to Dilf!Bkg (in his early 40's), v. established marriage // 7 years, 1 kid at Mitsuki's house for the weekend,

Katsuki wakes up first. The sky is bright as he peeks out of his sleepy eyes. He lays there for a few minutes, just staring at the outline of your curves under the light pink sheet. It's already hot. Probably 85 outside by now despite it being only 8 or so in the morning. He hasn't looked at the clock yet. He can't seem to take his eyes off of you.

You shuffle in your half-asleep state and roll onto your back. He smiles at you when you open your eyes to see if he's still there. But in your heart, you knew he would be.

"Good morning," he whispers to you and moves over to kiss your shoulder up to your neck. It's slow and lazy. The kind of affection that didn't know the rush of everyday necessity.

"Hey, you. What are you still doing here? I thought you'd be long gone by now. You think you'd be getting breakfast after the dessert I gave you last night?" You tuck your chin and giggle as the 2 day growth on his face tickles your bare chest. His hair is wild against your face as you try to push him away.

"Oh my god, you perv! Are you trying to shove my head down to your cunt again? Jesus fuck. I go down on you last night and you think it's all I'm good for? You think you deserve it? You're somethin' else, ya brat." He grabs your hand and holds it above you, against your pillow and scoots over so he's between your legs.

He hooked his arms under your knees and raised them up to your chest, his hands rest on the mattress next to your hips. "Mm, I gotta pee real quick. Lemme up. I'll be right back."

"You weren't even that good at it, ya loser." You spit back. He stopped and looked you dead in the eye, "That's not what you were sayin' last night. You goddamn liar. You wouldn't shut the fuck up, 'Oh Kats, don't stop Kats, holy shit Kats. You're God's gift to women, Ka-'…"

You slapped his flexed bicep, laughing. "I would never say such lies. I would never wish you on anyone. Man or woman. You're terrible. You're a terrible, horrible, filthy person."

You tried, and failed.

"Yeah? Gotta piss, eh. Well, you should've thought about that before you sassed off to me, fuckin' brat. Now, lemme see if you can keep that smart ass mouth of yours shut while I give it to you again." He leaned down and started to lap at your clit. You inhaled sharply, unable to get anything out of your mouth but a desperate whine. "K-Kats, really. I - h- oh fuck, th- fuck that's good. You're stupid good at eatin' pussy. And I promise I'll come back to you after I use the little girls room. Ge-get up, p- pl- … Kats, you're gonna make me cum and it's not gonna stop at that. It's not gonna be pretty."

He wouldn't let up on your clit. And it was so fucking hard for you to make him. It felt so good, very first thing in the morning. His fingers found their way inside of your hot and dripping pussy, sliding in and out easily. He knew just where to hit you and when. He knew exactly what buttons to push. He knew your body almost as well as you did and it was so good.

Katsuki looked up at you, his eyes hooded and his mouth slick with your juices, "You're so fuckin' cute when you whine for me to stop. However … not gonna ... stop. Not until I can feel your cum dripping down my chin and your legs are shaking aroun' my ears."

You laughed and dropped your head back onto your pillow. "I'm warning you. You have been warned, you stubborn shit." Resting your forearm over your eyes and anchoring your other hand in the hair just above his undercut, you gave in to him. And relaxed, while trying not to relax everything too much.

And, so you did. You quit your bitching and relaxed into his mouth on your cunt. It was warm. His tongue running between your folds wasn't much in contrast to how the rest of you felt; it was wet and hot, too. But when he doubled down, sucking on your little bud of nerves and delving his fingers into you, it was nearly more than you could handle. His nose sliding over your clit when his mouth wasn't on it. You could feel yourself quickly approaching that crossroad.

He hummed approvingly when you melted under his touch and raised your hips to match the ebb and flow of his ministrations. He was sloppy, his slurps and soft moans only egged you on more. "What are you so - hohh shit - happy about? Nothing about this is going to end well, Katsuki." He let go of your clit with a pop and told you to quit yer bitchin', let him do what he enjoys doing and does best. "Fine. But you're changing the sheets, shit ass." You laughed at his response to that; He buried his face even further into your hot core and doubled his efforts.

"Hm-mahh, Kats, nuh-uh, nonono oh fu- holy shit! I'm g- I'm gonna fffuuuccckkk, Katsuki!"

Your cheeks turned rosy pink and you felt the sudden urge to have the fan on. "Kats - hot, I'm h-hot." He grumbled into your cunt, "Fuck, I know y'are. I know, baby. So fuckin' hot. Cum for me, c'mon."

Your body tensed up and your knees snapped shut as your orgasm hit you like a runaway semi. The hot liquid - not much of a surprise to you - caught your husband completely off guard. Despite your many, many warnings, he still didn't anticipate the release of such bodily fluids.

"Hol- … holy fucking shit, babe! Did you … did you just … piss?" He yelled. You had never been so grateful that your kid was at their grandma's house and not there to hear their dad yell at their mom about pissing the bed.

"I-I- YOU!!! I fucking told YOU!! And your dumbass just pushed and pushed and poked and sucked on me. And now? Well now, you have to change and wash the sheets." You looked at him with a smug look on your face that you had not earned but felt like he deserved to be at the receiving end of.

He laid there. Half stunned and fully hard. "Babe. I'm … you … fuck. That was so hot. I mean, I'm sorr-sorta sorry. But fuck. You just came so hard you pissed. I have never made you cum like that." He stood and walked over to where you were standing, dripping onto the hardwood floor. Cupping your pussy and rubbing it with the palm of his hand and fingertips, he leaned down to kiss you. "We're doing that again. I'll get the shit we need. You do whatever you need to do. I'll be back and serving up some drinks after a bit. Be ready for me. I love you, peeps."

"Peeps?" You tilted your head in confusion. "Oh, yeah. 'S my new nickname for ya. You like it?"

Laughing, you tiptoed the rest of the way to the bathroom to clean yourself off. "Whatever floats your boat, baby. Whatever floats your boat."

Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @millennialmagicalgirl // @bakubunny (Yes I know. But just in case you somehow missed it and because of the conversation we had about his little kinks the other day ; )) @thenamesmiz (if you only wanted kiri stuff lmk!) @callm3senpaii (are you still out there? Lol) @arlerts-angel

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

Lois and Odd duck just doing girl things

Lois, as a rule, tried not to snoop in your things. But, you'd told her that there was Tylenol in a drawer- getting distracted by a phone call from your publisher before you could tell her which drawer.

It left her no choice but to open a couple- know when she peeped a flogger and a few other odds and ends she shut them just as quickly.. Kinky things? How kinky?

She had so many questions. Primarily who got the restraints used on them. They looked fancy. Nice and padded- and since when did you have silk sheets? And a fur blanket?

She'd have to ask. She needed to know. Because well- he who must not be named hadn't ever really done much to leave you with any sort of actual satisfaction. And it never seemed to well... bother you.

And sure. It wasn't her business but- what did trip your trigger? And also what made Batman melt into a puddle of needy spandex goo?

It took her a couple of tries and she tried not to pay too much attention to the toys- what? When did Bruce buy you those? Also, did you have one you'd recommend?

Still. She did find the tylenol and helped herself. Slipping back out of your bedroom to find you still on the phone but wrapping up. So she poured the wine and took a few minutes queueing up an old favorite conspiracy theory documentary- Getting drunk and mocking Ronald Reagan was always a good time and the sheer scale of Iran-Contra and the CIA smuggling coke into the states to fund the Contras and enabling the creation of crack and the snowball effect- it was batshit. It was the butterfly effect in action. And would lead to hours of discussion. Where did it start?

Did we blame the Kaiser? The Romanovs? OR Ferdinand and Isabela? How far back did it go?

"So?" Lois asked leaning on her hand when you hung up the phone, "I couldn't help but notice some new additions to your bedroom."

"The blankets are really soft," you murmur, face burning.

"So his specialty is aftercare," she said, teasing gently. "Is he bossy or-"

"He says he just wants me to feel good and he- he's really good at it."

"Ah- pleasure dom," she said nodding. "That makes sense. You don't like being uncomfortable. And you don't have a pain tolerance."

"They don't give gold medals for suffering."

"So," she said, "Silk sheets, sensory play, and he ties you up sometimes to make things feel a little dangerous?"

"I get squirmy," you murmur, "I know it's not dangerous. Bruce doesn't want to hurt me."

Lois took a sip from her glass and swallowed and internal little squeal. It was just so fucking cute. The big bad scary bat was a pleasure dom. He liked making a soft little world for a soft little girl and making sure that she felt good. And aforementioned little girl felt good and felt safe.

"Don't tell-"

"Oh my god I'm not telling Clark he'd launch himself into the sun- I do wanna know about a couple of those toys though. Like. Are they worth it?"

[putnamcapital]

s1 ep 6 rewatch notes

[yeah i am still doing these essays, everyone copes differently OKAY]

I wish i had the words to convey my love for the Simon-Rosh-Ayub dynamic when they’re sitting on his bed trying to talk about his video, not the Kim K. video. it’s an instance of one of the things i ADORE about YR, namely, the importance of the love and support of friends - “the gang is back together”. contra a lot of the teenage and adult movies that put romantic love on a pedestal and everything else goes to the dogs.

That shot of Wille set against the sky when the Queen leaves = is it the apocalypse or is it heartbreak and i'm not the only one seeing the religious imagery right?

“we haven’t done anything wrong.” Simon’s moral clarity, his unbreakable backbone - it’s a moment where it’s obvious the Court has no idea who they are dealing with. I’m not sure Wille even knows then.

Frida doesn’t get enough praise for her acting. that side eye of August as they cross in front of him loafing on the picnic table: sublime.

Another parallel I hadn’t seen before: Sara dresses up before dinner; she likes the image she sees of herself in the mirror. She is “someone she is not”, according to Simon (later that night), but she wants that false countenance. In S2, that same move will devastate Wille. But we have another Sara-mirror scene, in S2. Leaning on the Wille-Sara parallel, there’s something being done here about becoming who you are through artifice (dressing up ‘in costume’) or through love (revealing your true self). August (as opposed to Simon, i think …) ends up being a false or traitorous ‘coming into self through love’ for Sara.

Related … when Sara went to see August to confront him about the video, i have retrospectively imagined her as having planned what happened. But if you look at the scene as it happens, both Sara and August seem to just be playing the situation as it arises. Sara starts off by not even intending to tell August, I think that was honest. When she then confronted him about the video, she first asks why did you do this to Wille and then, how do you have the right, you destroyed Simon? none of it is about her. it’s when August asks her ‘what do you want’ - that i think the idea comes to her. And i think that explains her face after she kisses August - her revulsion at herself. it seems like a situation that spiralled out of control very fast.

i can’t really talk about the Sara-Simon fight scene because it’s my Point of No Return in terms of “This is a nice program to watch of an evening” and “These characters have become my entire waking and sleeping existence, is there treatment for this.”

in the scene that starts with them sitting on the floor in Wille’s room, there is that tender moment by the door, and one of the top two kisses and hugs in the whole of season 1 and 2 combined, punctuated with the forehead tap. and i’ve always thought it so lovely until this time i saw the “red flag” - the towel hanging on the hook - and it reminded me of the red ‘flag’ we see in the locker room every other time things go south.

the scene with kristina and wille in the car starts simply with him saying, “WHAT?” which a) comes straight out of fanfic; b) is hyper-realistic adolescent approach to dialogue but also c) actually shows that they are really close. as in, Wille might loathe his mother by the end of this episode, but also he knows exactly what she’s thinking and they can just skip all the usual staging aspects of conversation. it links, i now see, to the book scene, where wille admits that he can’t just throw out everything he’s been taught, b/c he’s internalized it so well

when K is lecturing W about all the public attention he’s going to get now, and how it will be even worse, it’s the same shot of him looking out the car window wishing he could be literally anyone else as in the first few minutes of s1ep1, after the club fight. and we see his reflection in the window, so we get him 'in double' - who he is IRL, and who he is seen to be by the viewer. very clever. very clever.

[foreverlogical]

It long had seemed that the “stall” would be the worst thing the Supreme Court could do when it came to Donald Trump’s claim of immunity from prosecution. How naive.

Delay there will be. The six justices in the Republican-appointed supermajority held, “A former president is entitled to absolute immunity from criminal prosecution for actions within his ‘conclusive and preclusive constitutional authority.’” They added, “There is no immunity for unofficial acts.” Rather than make clear that trying to overthrow the Constitution’s peaceful transfer of power is not an official act, the justices send the whole matter back to trial judge Tanya Chutkan. Expect more consideration, more parsing, more rulings, more appeals. It will all likely end up at the Supreme Court again in a year, if the whole prosecution isn’t shut down entirely.

But damage to our system goes well beyond delay. Trump v. U.S. astounds in its implications. It grants the president the power of a monarch. Richard Nixon defended his conduct in Watergate, telling interviewer David Frost, “When the president does it, that means it’s not illegal.” Effectively, the Supreme Court’s supermajority has now enshrined that brazen claim.

To be clear, there are reasons to be nervous about prosecuting former chief executives, so some standards make sense. In this case, though, the Court has issued an instruction manual for future lawbreaking presidents: Make sure you conspire only with other government employees. You’ll never be held to account. 

What makes something an official act? “In dividing official from unofficial conduct, courts may not inquire into the President’s motives,” the justices ruled. And a jury cannot learn about the other parts of a criminal conspiracy that may involve official acts.

Justice Amy Coney Barrett did not agree with this last critical point. She said that of course juries can consider the context of a criminal act. Neither Justice Samuel Alito (who flew insurrectionist flags outside his two homes) nor Justice Clarence Thomas (whose wife was on the Ellipse on January 6) recused themselves. They cast the deciding votes to keep from jurors the full story of the attempted overthrow of the Constitution. 

The founders said repeatedly that presidents have no special immunity, as a brief filed by the Brennan Center on behalf of top historians made plain. After all, that was one of the very things about the British monarchy that they hated and against which they rebelled.

Even more directly, this ruling undoes the restrictions on presidential abuse of power put in place by officials and jurists of both parties since the 1970s.

The imperial presidency described an age of growing executive authority and abuse of power. It came crashing to an end during Watergate and after revelations about the misuse of intelligence and law enforcement by Nixon’s predecessors.

The presidential immunity concocted today would have blessed most of Nixon’s crimes. Nixon ordered his White House counsel to pay hush money to burglars in an Oval Office meeting on March 21, 1973. Presumptively an official act? He dangled clemency before E. Howard Hunt, one of the conspirators. Use of the pardon power — entirely immune? He resigned when a tape revealed he had ordered the CIA to go to the FBI to end the investigation of the burglars sent by his campaign committee. “Play it tough,” he told his White House chief of staff. On its face, official.

What about other criminal cases involving high officials? In the Iran-Contra scandal of the late 1980s, numerous officials were charged (including the national security advisor and the defense secretary). Ronald Reagan faced no charges, but not because he was presumed immune. What if he did break the law — would he have escaped accountability? In 2001, federal prosecutors probed whether Bill Clinton sold pardons. They cleared him — but issuing a pardon is surely an official act.

In her dissent, Justice Sonia Sotomayor said it plainly: “Under [the majority’s] rule, any use of official power for any purpose, even the most corrupt purpose indicated by objective evidence of the most corrupt motives and intent, remains official and immune. Under the majority’s test, if it can be called a test, the category of Presidential action that can be deemed ‘unofficial’ is destined to be vanishingly small.” 

So, yes, all this will delay Trump’s trial. In that sense, he gets what he craved. But the implications are far worse for the structure of American self-government.

It is a massive failure for Chief Justice John Roberts. The other major rulings on presidential accountability for legal wrongdoing have been unanimous. U.S. v. Nixon (limiting executive privilege) was written by the Republican chief justice Nixon appointed, and it was unanimous. Clinton v. Jones (opening the president to civil suit even while in office) was unanimous. Let’s grant that Roberts is an institutionalist. He is presiding over the collapse of public trust in the very institution he purports to revere.

And Trump v. U.S. has enormous implications for the future of the presidency. Remember that utterly bonkers hypothetical from the appeals court argument — that a president could order SEAL Team Six to assassinate an opponent? Sotomayor again: “A hypothetical President who admits to having ordered the assassinations of his political rivals or critics . . . has a fair shot at getting immunity under the majority’s new Presidential accountability model.” 

We read sonorous language in the majority opinion that “the president is not above the law.” But just in time for Independence Day, the Supreme Court brings us closer to having a king again.

[ohsalome]

What are some amazing, most read Ukraine authors? The only one I know is Gogol and I would like more on my radar.

First important disclaimer is that without knowing ukrainian, your pool of choice is very limited. Unfortunately, our translators haven't done nearly enough to make ukrainian literature acessable for english speakers, so a lot of genuinely amazing stuff would require you to know the language.

The second important disclaimer is that I am going to recommend you a lot of poetry, and, with no disrespect to the translators, it doesn't hit nearly as hard in english as it is in ukrainian. I've recently heard the phrase "to read poetry in translation is like to take a shower wearing a raincoat", and it is so true. So, apologies for this barrier, but there is nothing one can do.

With that in mind, let's start from classics:

The first most important author is Taras Shevchenko. He mainly wrote poetry, but has some prose works as well, and during his life he was more known as a popular artist. The Bible of his works is Kobzar (a ukrainian word for travelling blind musicians), and the same word is also often used as a nickname for Shevchenko - akin to how Shakespeare can be called the Bard. Among the most important poems pay attention to A Dream (the poem for which he was imprisoned by the russians with an explicit ban on writing and painting), The Caucasus, My Testament, Kateryna, A cherry orchad by the house, О thoughts of mine

The second big name to know is Lesya Ukrainka. Lesya is also more known for her drama and poetry than her prose, but she also was a prolific translator and a feminist. Her most well-know play is The Forest Song (a cartoon adaptation is soon to be released after 7 years of production, but from the trailer it looks like it's not going to be close to the text). I find her Бояриня play to be much more interesting and relevant, however, it looks like it has not been translated yet. Among her poems, some of the most important are Contra Spem Spero and Cassandra (the latter has had some successful stage prouctions in Great Britain last year, mayhaps it will gain popularity)

Some links to her works: [x] [x]

Fun fact: there are speculations about Lesya Ukrainka's relationship with her close friend Olga Kobylyanska. The letters they exchanged are quite intimate and sometimes even erotic in nature, which lead some academics to believe that they were more than friends (most still fall in the "gal pals" camp tho). However, if that were true, that would mean that Lesya Ukrainka is the only bisexual woman to ever be printed on banknotes.

The third pillar of ukrainian classical literature is Ivan Franko. Once again, we are talking about partiotic poetry, but there are also many socialistic ideas in his works (although he became dissilusioned with it in his later years ), which I think many western readers will find appealing - (side comment - it looks like "collective west" is going through the same processses that we overcame a century ago, so ehm... good luck, y'all will need it). I haven't been able to find much of his works translated in English, so here is a good master page. Zakhar Berkut is considered to be one of his greatest works (a ukrainian-american co-production movie The Rising Hawk was released a couple of years ago, it was shit). If you manage to put your hands on it, I would greatly recommend The Painted Fox and Moses. Also, reading Eternal Revolutionary imprinted on me so much in childhood and determined who I grew up to be, I pretty much consider Franko to be my spiritual father.

A great event that happened this year is that Valeryan Pidmohylny's The City is finally getting an english translation. I have been gushing about this book on this blog before (you can also find the link to the publisher there), because for the archetypical ukrainian literature this book is a breath of fresh air. It's beautiful, it's modern, it's urbanistic, the protagonist is irredeemable asshole, it's amazing and I should re-read it as well.

Among the authors that are much more difficult to find, I greatly recommend Ivan Nechu-Levytsky. In my humble opinion, he like no other has managed to capture the "ukrainian spirit" and his plots are extremely captivating and dramatic as hell.

I will always, always add Ivan Bahryiany to my lists of ukrainian "must reads". He is an author of the first ever ukrainian adventure novel Tiger Trappers/The Hunters and the Hunted, which is the book that is loved even by those who don't like ukrainian literature. However, I personally find his Garden of Gethsemane to be a much more important (but take care, it is much more depressing as well). This author is extremely important, but I struggle finding PDFs of his work - perhaps, you'd have to search the libraries or ukr diaspora publishers for paperbacks. I have also been unsuccessfully hunting for an english translation of Why I am not going back to the Soviet Union? pamphlet for years - and I know for sure it exists because the USA first lady at that time has read it and it influenced her opinion on the USSR - but I've had no luck so far.

Another very important author of the same time period is Mykola Khyvylovy. One of his plays has actually been recently put to stage in English (shamefully, I haven't watched it yet, but I can vouch for the text it was based on - it's brutal).

I can't speak about ukrainian literature without mentioning crimean tatars, and although their works are much, much less known (in Ukraine as well, unfortunately), please do not overlook it. It is a gorgeous culture, and reading it, I grew to love and value Crimea so much even without ever visiting it. There are some english translations avaliable, including those of Noman Çelebicihan - an extermely important figure in Crimean Tatar history, the founder of the unfortunately short-lived Crimean Democratic Republic, the author of their national anthem, and overall very influential revolutionary.

Now let's jump to the popular modern authors. Many don't have english translation, but the problem is much less prominent in comparison to the ukrainian classics. With these authors, you shouldn't have trouble with finding paperbacks. Among the most influential authors I can recommend Serhiy Zhadan (Timothy Snyder has once said that he expects Zhadan to receive a Nobel Prize in literature and I agree), Oksana Zabuzhko (she either aught to release soon or has already released an english-exclusive book about the russian-ukrainian war), Yuri Izdryk (extremely modern and unconventional, but he's a good represention of the current state of art), Yuriy Andrukhovych (love his mastery of language, hate his characters). These authors are more light-hearted, but a grim necessity for today is Stanislav Aseyev's The Torture Camp on Paradise Street. It is a autobilgraphical book describing his experience being imprisoned by russians between 2017 and 2019. Western journalism often describes the war crimes russians commit on our land, but just listing the number of people lost doesn't show the face of the russian horror. Read this book to understand why we were screaming about the russian threat before the full-scale invasion, and why every time we regain the territory we brace with terror of what we'll discover there - because everywhere russian army goes, they build hunderds of such Isolyatsya camps that the book describes.

Also check out Serhiy Zhadan's band!

[iwaoiness]

When Tooru likes Rosalía

Iwaizumi never thought it possible that anything could oust empanadas from the number 1 spot in Oikawa's TOP10 things I like most about Argentina.

Until Rosalia and her album El Mal Querer arrived during Tooru's second year in the Latin country.

Ever since he became obsessed whit her, there was no video call where Oikawa did not hum or sing a song. With the endearing accent that persisted in his Spanish, he sang voy a salir pa la calle, con la manita los aro’ brillando, en mi piel los corale’, me protejan, me salven, me iluminen, me guarden while he prepared to go out after Hajime helped him choose an outfit.

And also me da miedo cuando sales, sonriendo pa’ la calle, porque todos pueden ver, los hoyuelitos que te salen, like that day when he missed Iwa-chan so much that he couldn't disguise it and Jacob (Hajime's roommate and friend) uploaded a story to Instagram where Iwaizumi was laughing (so handsome, so ethereal) with naturalness and happiness and sweetness and with those tender dimples on his cheeks.

And de las luces sale un ángel que cayó, tiene una marca en el alma, pero ella no se la vio while preparing dinner following Iwaizumi's instructions via the video call

And when Oikawa was feeling playful, lying face down on the bed, with the laptop in front of him, he sang di mi nombre, pon tu cuerpo contra el mío, y que lo malo sea bueno e impuro lo bendecí’o, ya me abrazas sobre tu cuerpo, en la esquina de tu cama, and he enjoyed watching Hajime covered his face with his hands, his ears reddened and muttered curses in English because after so long, he understood Spanish too well.

Then, four years later, when Oikawa was giving up all hope of Rosalía releasing a new album, Motomami appeared, and Iwaizumi still remembers with a shudder Tooru's intense scream when it was released.

Now, with no trace of his accent, in fluent, melodious Spanish, Oikawa sang yo soy muy mía, yo me transformo, una mariposa, yo me transformo, makeup de drag queen, yo me transformo, lluvia de estrellas, yo me transformo as he swayed his hips and made his favourite smoothies in the kitchen of the new flat where he finally lived with Iwaizumi.

And there was one day when, while Hajime was talking to Kageyama on the phone about his hesitation to do a deodorant commercial, Oikawa sang out loud es mala amante la fama y no va a quererte de verdad, es demasia’o traicionera, y como ella viene, se te va to tease him a bit (just for old times' sake, not because he wanted to really annoy Tobio for interrupting them in their daily cuddling session).

And then he sang pa’ ti naki, chicken teriyaki, tu gata quiere maki, mi gata en Kawasaki as he and Iwa-chan walked to their favourite restaurant in Tokyo and Hajime, against his will, ended up humming the catchy fucking tune.

He also sang yo no soy y ni voy a ser tu bizcochito, pero tengo to’ lo que tiene delito, que me pongan en el sol, que me derrito as he went through his nightly skincare routine, with the song playing on his phone and Hajime by his side, brushing his teeth while looking at him in amusement through the reflection of the mirror.

And there was a time when Tooru not only sang baby, no me llame’ que yo estoy ocupá’ olvidando tus male’, ya decidí que esta noche se sale, con toda’ mis motomami’, con toda’ mis gyale’, but also joined the trend on TikTok (dragging Hajime of course). Both learned the choreography, recorded the video one Sunday morning and, in less than three hours, got more than 1M likes, 90k comments (20 of them from an excited Hinata), several calls from family and friends, a duo of Mattsun and Makki with their TikTok where both laughed trying to imitate them and Suna re-uploading the video on his social networks with the thumbs-up emoji.

And then came the RR album with Beso which Tooru had on loop for weeks, although Hajime didn't really mind, because the melody was soft (nothing to do with Chiken Teriyaki) and he loved it when Oikawa sang ya yo necesito otro beso, uno de esos que tú me da’, estar lejos de ti es el infierno, estar cerca de ti es mi paz as he wrapped his arms around Iwa-chan, smiled tenderly and looked at him lovingly before kissing him.

Although, when it was discovered that Rauw hurt Rosalía and they broke up, Oikawa (after venting his anger towards the male singer on his social networks) banned the album because in this house we don't tolerate infidels, Iwa-chan and replaced the RR album with the single LLYLM, with that fragment that Oikawa liked a lot and, during an April night, curled up on the small sofa on the balcony under the dark blanket of the sky, Hajime sang to him, low and soft, with an accent in his Spanish ay dame esa pulsera de flores, me la pondré en la muñeca, cuando despierte, así yo lo sabré, así yo lo sabré, yo sabré que fue real, será mi totem, lo sabes tú y nadie más.

But, instead of a flower bracelet, Iwaizumi carefully slipped a gold wedding ring onto Oikawa's ring finger and he, when noticed it, lifted his head from Hajime's chest, blinking in perplexity when he saw the jewel wrapped perfectly around his finger.

Is this...?

He shot his gaze towards Iwaizumi with a whirlwind of dizzying emotions swirling in his chest, where his heart was pounding so hard it could shatter ribs and pierce skin.

Hajime looked back at him, his olive green eyes shining with happiness in its purest state, and he widened his smile, that smile that expresses so much and brings out his dimples.

"Will you marry me, Tooru?" he asked him softly in Spanish, his voice trembling lightly, charged with the same emotions that stirred the setter.

Oikawa opened and closed his mouth, but the words caught in his throat, his lower lip began to tremble, his eyes to mist over before tears began to overflow and his cheks and nose began to blush. Tooru only managed to sob before he threw himself on top of him completely, hiding his face in Hajime’s shoulder, wrapping his arms tightly around his neck and sliding his legs on either side of his hips. Iwaizumi’s strong arms immediately wrapped around Oikawa, aligning their hearts in that hug, bringing him the warmth, comfort, and security that Tooru grew up with.

Hajime was Tooru’s home that always kept its doors open for him.

"If I'd known you were going to propose I would have taught you Taylor Swift's discography." He whispered when finally found his voice and Hajime let out a wet laugh, his hand never having stopped stroking Oikawa’s back while the other still clutched at his waist.

"So that's a yes?" he asked and Oikawa sniffled, lifting his head to look him in the eye.

He smiled, with that cute curve to his lips that forced his eyes to narrow like half-moons and his reddened nose to wrinkle tenderly.

"As Rosalia sang at an awards ceremony" Tooru cleared his throat and Hajime laughed again before his boyfriend (now fiancé and forever his soulmate) cradled his face in his soft hands, his thumbs caressing his cheeks as their eyes met again "Si me das a elegir, entre tú y la gloria, pa’ que hable la historia de mí, por los siglos, ay amor" He inclined his head, nuzzling his nose with Iwaizumi's, who narrowed his eyes, lowering his gaze to those glossy lips that curved upwards "I'm staying with you" He finished in Japanese and Hajime mirrored his smile before their mouths melted into a kiss charged with all the love they had sown since they were two years old.

The same love that today, at the age of 29, blossoms like every spring in an explosion of colours and shapes.

[silveragelovechild]

BLUE BEETLE (Minor Spoilers)

I was unsure if I wanted to see “Blue Beetle”. Is it one of the last of the old DCEU movies? Or, as suggested by recent articles, the first of the new DCU films under James Gunn and James Safran.

Well, the movie was green lit by Warner in 2021 to be part of mid-budget films to be released exclusively on HBO Max. But with the regime change… and lucky for it, with Safran as a producer, it got a theatrical release date.

As I’m not a fan of Warner/Gunn’s new direction for DC Comics movies, I hesitated. But because the Blue Beetle features the Jaime Reyes version of the character, Warner’s first Mexican superhero, I felt I should at least see it.

First, does this feel like an introduction to a new DC Universe? Flat out, No. The story is set in a fictional city in the Florida Keys, and except for very minor passing references to Batman, Superman, and the Flash, there is no sense of the outside world and the heroes that might inhabit it. So this movie is largely standalone and could exist in any of DC’s multiverses (included the Arrowverse).

What sets this movie apart from other superhero movies is its focus on “La familia”. We have Jaime, his sister, mom and dad, Uncle Rudy, and Nana the abuelita - and they all love each other very much.

This is both good and bad, because like the Shazam-Family in Zachary Levi’s films, Jaime is never on a solo mission. He has to share a lot of screen time and plot with his family.

As Superhero family go, this one is extraordinary… Tio Rudy (played by George Lopez) is a veritable tech genius (someone actually refers to him as Doc Brown). And Nana? She’s played by well known Mexican actress Adriana Barraza. Her character was once a “revolucionista” who can handle a machine gun twice her size. As I don’t recall any revolutions in Mexico in the past 50+ years, maybe in her youth grandma traveled to Nicaragua in the 1980s to fight with the Contras.

These additions are meant to be playful, but each needs a setup, and an arc and conclusion which make the movie less and less about Jaime.

Xolo Maridueña is charming as Jaime. His devotion to his family is his defining trait. Once the alien scarab takes over his body, he’s constantly trying to stop it from killing anybody. An odd juxtaposition because in Tio Rudy’s and Abuelita’s action scenes, they don’t hesitate killing (remember that machine gun?).

Susan Sarandon plays a generic corporate villain and offers nothing special. Her #1 henchman is played by Raoul Trujillo. He eventually becomes a red version of the Beetle (don’t you hate it when the villain becomes a copy of the hero). He and Jaime have many fight scenes (CGI versus CGI like in the Iron Man movies).

The ending gets bogged down in too many fight scenes:

Jaime’s sister versus generic henchmen

Tio Rudy versus generics henchmen

Abuelita versus generic henchmen

Jaime versus generic henchmen

Jaime versus Raoul Trujillo (twice at the end and at least 4 times across the movie).

In all, I thought “Blue Beetle” was just “okay”. Certainly better than “Quantumania” and “Thor L&T” but not has good as either WW movie or the recent Flash (which I enjoyed quite a bit).

NOTE:The plot references the Golden Age Blue Beetle (Dan Garrett) and the Silver Age version (Ted Kord) but neither appear. But we do get to see Kord’s airship, the Bug, in action.

Post Credit Scenes: Shortly after the credit start, there is a scene referencing Ted Kord. At the very end of the credits, there is another bit that is not worth waiting for (trust me!). And there are NO cameos by any other heroes or actors.

Best Line:

“My name is Sanchez, pendeja!”

[inoppositionflorien]

One of the weirdest things that people mythologize is Operation Condor. Like, the US did some fucked up things in South and Central America, this is undeniable. But Operation Condor was not a US plan. It was Augusto Pinochet's plan, and the US (and possibly France) said "yeah you know what, sure, we know what you're doing, but we'll let you. In fact, we'll let you keep using our networks in panama for whatever you want (even if that's murdering suspected dissidents), and we'll continue to help you train your troops (who we know you intend to use against your own citizens later)". But the plan was very much not a US plan, and everyone who was actually carrying out the things were doing so under local people's orders, it was just US policy to look the other way and whistle inconspicuously while continuing to provide aid.

Further, the Allende Coup in Chile wasn't US-conducted either, it was the far less interesting "we really don't like or trust Allende, so we've been sanctioning Chile about it and talking about how much Chile sucks now to Chileans, and we've thought about coordinating a coup, but then we found out the army was already planning one, so we're just not going to tell Allende that a coup's coming and we're not going to complain if one happens. They (the coup plotters) actually called us and said 'hey want to support our coup it would be super cool' and we said 'well we're not going to give you support, but we're not going to say definitely don't do it' so we'll just see how this plays out."

There are coups that very directly were done by the US. Iran, for instance, had an explicitly US and UK supported coup in 1953, Guatemala had PBSuccess in 1954 (That's the one that United Fruit set off, back when they still could overthrow governments because they had explicit support from their parent country) attempted and failed in Syria in 1956, tried in Indonesia from 1957-59 but got nowhere, and of course tried and failed in Cuba. They later became aware of a coup plot in Brazil and while they didn't actively cause the coup, they provided military support when the Brazilian army called for help after it faltered during the execution. The same happened in Bolivia in 1971. They actually concretely supported and encouraged a coup in Chad in 1982. There was of course the Iran-Contra affair in the 80s, and invaded Grenada after a pro-communist coup in 1983. It's not a short list by any means, but it notably doesn't include a lot of places the US has been accused of doing coups in.

That's about the limits of since declassified documents and publicly available information, but it seems the US actually chilled out a lot after the cold war. There were allegations of involvement in the Hatian '91 coup, but those don't seem to be true because the US helped re-install the president who got coup'd in the first place, which wouldn't be the actions of someone who wanted the government overthrown. (Of course it's possible George HW Bush did it on a whim, lost the election, and then Clinton hurriedly had to clean up that mess, but that seems unlikely)

Interestingly, nearly all of these operations that involved concrete support were conducted under Eisenhower, Nixon, Ford and Reagan. (Barring some of the Cuba ones under Kennedy, who was an obnoxious vaguely-authoritarian populist who was completely spineless whenever he was asked to make a decision that might hurt his domestic popularity, who managed to get lucky enough to be martyred before his terrible ideas could actually start staining his reputation. Then again, the alternative to him was Nixon, so maybe we dodged a bullet. Kennedy certainly didn't, which was probably for the best.) So this actually means there's been an apparently concrete foreign policy difference between Democrats and Republicans for longer than the Republicans have been courting fascists domestically.

But the point is, saying "Operation Condor was the US's fault alone" is a bizarre thing to say that attributes a lot of power to the US that it never really had, and still doesn't have today. It creates the illusion that US foreign policy is both reasonably consistent, even during cold war times, and the illusion that the Regime Change Through Coups policy is actually particularly effective, when the record shows it seems to fail pretty often. Further, while post-coup governments were pretty much uniformly worse and tended to kill a lot of people, and US collaboration with or tacit support of that is something that should be condemned, the fact is, attributing all coups solely to the US ignores how hard the prior governments tended to alienate their own armed forces and the population more generally by being variously ineffective and incompetent. It also mythologizes the CIA as a consistently effective organization that's both incredibly subtle and very powerful, when in practice it has a very hit-and-miss record with actually serving US interests, much less achieving its own objectives.

[ofswordsandsorcery]

My thoughts on SHADOW & BONE S2

SHADOW AND BONE SEASON 2 SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

GRISHA VERSE SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

!!!!SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT!!!!

I wrote this while watching, so it's really chaotic

Also, I haven't read any of the books in a while, so forgive me for not remembering how to correctly write the names and probably forgetting stuff :D

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED CLICK OFF THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE

Episode 1

A privateer actually, it's an important distinction

Take your fuckin shoes off the bed

TAMAR AND TOLYA FUCKING ICONIC

Episode 2

THE BOOK, IT'S LIVES OF SAITS, OH SAINTS IS IT BEAUTIFUL

"you live in a single moment I live in a thousand"

You're old as shit we get it

Nina Zenik is a fucking menace and I am SO living for it

Also, we love a queen that eats <3

Oh oh Nikolai trying to steal Mal's girlfriend i see

Tamar and Alina interaction ahsjsjsjsj

The bonding over being shu han???

Awww, i loveee themm

You are FANCY CARGO

I'M DYING

Wylan and Nikolai working together would be the end of the world as we know it

HE SAID THE LINE

HE SAID IMPROBABLE

I- I CAN'T OMGGG

I thought the girl working for Aleksander was Zoya for a sec and i was SO confused

Aww, Wylan he's beyond thrilled, he just doesn't show it love

FUTURE HUBBYYS

Jes getting his fucking hat before leaving is everything

Episode 3

Soaaring flyyyyinnn

Nikolai is one hell of an inventor

Jes and Wylan on a missionnn *in a singing voice*

Nina giving Kaz contra >>>

Ajsjyjsjsjs Prince Nikolai reveal i am jsksksjsj AN ICON, truly

You lying bastard

Whack

Even more iconic

David and Genyaaaaa

I love David

I'm still so incredibly mad

On an unrelated note: Lewis Tan is one fine man

A casting decision I actually love

Side eye to Nikolai

(sorry paddy, nothing against you, you are doing a wonderful job just really not how I imagined Nikolai to look at ALL)

Nadja meets Tamar

Brb, I'm going to turn in to a useless queer

Also, I love Aldrick

ZOYALINA ZOYALINA ZOYALINA

Fuck allies, you need a wife

I am so living for Wylan begrudgingly agreeing with Jes

Wylans horrified stare at the piano playing omg and the little flinch

"He's really good" lol

Jes is so falling in love with Wylan over his piano playing skills

That LOOK

YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT THAT IS SO CUTE I'M CRYING

Uhhh, kaz inej fight lol

Let me bandage it for you even tho i am deadly afraid of touching skin

Ahhh, communication

Omg the subtle shaking? The fear in his eyes? Well done.

What's your telll?

The cane the limp, know ones ever smart enough to look for the real one????

It's not what you think??

Nina is like yeah, take your bullshitting elsewhere

Ahaaa

I LOVE seeing that friendship develop.

Shit at first dates lmao

Love you Nina

Kaz fighting scene omg

Badass.

Crow club takeover? What?

Y'all I wasn't prepared for this

So much is happening at once, help

Eww he licked the knife? Bah

Go Inej, get his ass..

THE HAIR FLIP

INEJ INEJ INEJ INEJ INEJJJJJ

BABES YOU'RE FUCKING BADASS

Wow the prayer

So much emotionnnn

Ajhsjsjsj

Vladim, what are you doing love

General Kirigan what the actual fuck

That.. Is your mom

The horror on David's face

I feel the same way tho

I HaVe a PrOPosAL

Shut up Nikolai, you're gonna get punched again and you're face is actually to pretty for that...

STOP IT. They're holding hands

I repeat THEY ARE HOLDING HANDS

This is a fucking emotional roller-coaster

I'm not going anywhere - walks away

Thanks Jes, for saying what i thought

Jesper you little fuck

Don't betray Wylan like that?

Wylan talking about how Alby isn't responsible for who his father is

Van Eck im FUCKING LOOKING AT YOU

Oh Mathias my poor boy <3 he seriously needs a hug...

What's your price? Nuh uh

Episode 4

Vasily you idiot

TAMARR <3

Razrusha'ya

Ruined? I AM NOT RUINED I AM RUINATION

Baghra the wise im cackling

I KINDA LIKE YOUR FACE?

Jes you can't just drop that casually and then move one as if fucking nothing happend????

No mourners no funerals and it's almost all of my babies

Nadjas impressed look at Tamar and her axes has me SOBBING

TOLYA WITH HIS BOOOK

LOVE

That was a long time ago

Yeah oops

Make him kneel make him kneel make him kneel omg

That whole scene is so fucking good i had to actually rewatch it multiple times before i could move on

Tolya and Tamar supremacy <3

Not The POETRYYY

Tamar and Tolya meeting the crows??? Holy shit

This has taken so many twists and turns and loopings what

You could... Come with me??

Wylans lil shrug???? I'm actually crying

Kit's acting in the confession scene? SPECTACULAR the glances, the lil eye roll before be gathers the full courage, the little waver in his voice when he does confess??

A WYLAN KISS? WHAT I DID NOT EXPECT THAT AT ALL

HELP

HELP

HELPPPPP

Maybe you need a reminder?? The laughs the giggles I'm going to spontaneously combust

Wtf kaz

I worry about you?

I can't have a weak link in my crew?

You're a bloody idiot, is what you are

Nina should kock some sense into that head of yours after what you just said you moron

I think Rollins knocked it outa ya

And king he shall be

Just not yet oops

Unhinged Genya? hell yes!!!!

Ahhh, Baghra, you sly fucker

Not Adrik

Not him

Please not him

Jesper, Inej and Nina solidarity

Jes loves the gossip so much ahahahah

Episode 5

Genya not wanting David to see her because she's afraid of what he'll think hurts my heart

Genyalina hug supremacy

Baghra said sobatchka

I'm crying. This is not the time but omh

YOU DON'T NEED FIXING

Damn right she doesn't.

Tolya looking at the bowl of food is literally me

NINA AND TOLYA BONDING OVER FOOD

NOT WHAT I THOUGHT I'D GET BUT NOW I NEED MORE, OH LORD

I'm not here for you whoops

Oh Jes, you said the wrong thing baby

Bhez Ju? It looks INCREDIBLE!!!

Tolya being like wtf is going on with you and wylan is gold

I know metal

David i love you

The gentle forehead press

What did you do to him

Tolya giving relationship advice to jesper avout wylan I'm going to cry

Nvm I'm actually already crying

Nina trying to talk to Kaz about tea had me laughing so hard

Tolya snacking all the time, we love it

Zoya honestly

Tolyas comment about soldiers, i love that

Episode 6

MAMA

I'm laughing so hard

Poor Mal

He doesn't deserve any of this

The thief is so beautiful

And she's so badass

SHE'S DOING A GRISHA VERSION OF BLOODBENDING??? THAT IS GENIUS

Lol she's giving it to Jesper

I think she knows he's a special one

Love her so much

Another Wesper kiss??? Also, Tolya's knowing face lmao

Mathias = slab of fur and i will not refer to him as anything else ever again

Episode 7

Why on earth is everyone losing their hands?

This is ridiculous

Let me introduce you to Inej - Badass of the Barrel

Uh oh is right you witch

The crows join, it's over you idiots

Not the cane, that's a sacrilege what you just did.

Sibling reunion I'm sobbing over that hug

Um, Mal u okay hun?

Episode 8

Not kaz giving his cane away what is happening???

My Man

MY MAN

MY MAN

Kaz and Tolya bonding over Poetry? Of all things? love it

Ah ah ah is that an upward lip tug i see Kaz?

Jes... Why did you ruin the moment like that?

There's six of you you morons

Just don't know it yet lovelies

Have i said i don't like Genya's eye thing? It just looks so cheap

He wants an investment lol

Kaz you fuking idiot

You actually have to say it you know

Oof, the I want- I want you

Gives me the same vibes as i love, i love, i love you

How many fucking flying ships do they have?

Nah wtf is this Inej & Tolya shit

What's with the suggestive camera angles, stop that

Actually, i like the sturmhond look on Mal

Inej on the boat taking over slaver ships

So many things i didn't think I'd see this season omg

Ketterdam what kinda fucked up, out of proportion moon do you have???

Ugh not the apparat

Fuck off already, i didn't miss you at ALL

For a man of faith...

Love you for that, sobachka

Finally a better eye patch

Zoya you actually could lol

Are we going to get a triumvirate sitch with Alina?

Omgg yesss

You finally gonna go to Fjerda huh

I AM SO LIVING FOR THE DRESSES

EXCEPT ZOYAS... WHERE'S THE SIGNATURE BLUE SILVER?

Not that it doesn't look good just...

Talk about show stopping, am i right

Well, that's a way to end the show

Additional things I LOVED

- The show name at the beginning of every episode

- The different languages >>>>

- everything Tolya does

-Patrick Gibson as Nikolai, the longer I watched the better it got

What I did NOT like:

- lots of things actually but I have decided for myself that from here I'll just see the show as something different from the books and cherish it for what it is

-David and Genya having literally five seconds before he died? WTF? David was supposed to be here longer :/

-that they put SO MUCH into this season? like so much is happening at once and then they introduce additional stuff??? Felt a little rushed to me... Like were kinda already at the point of King of Scars but at the same time the SOC plotline is so ripped apart? I am confused...

[schraubd]

On Loving "Campus Jews" While Hating Campus Jews

It is no revelation to say that Jews on campus experience their share of antisemitism, and deserve our support. But one of the more frustrating aspects of that reality is how that "support" often manifests in a fashion that is almost tauntingly unconcerned with what the Jews on campus actually want. "Support", too often, is not support at all -- it is a way for outsiders to exploit a headline or to ride their own hobbyhorses, and the campus Jews themselves are an afterthought. I do not know if Berkeley Jews wanted Noa Tishby to pay a visit to Sproul Plaza. I am very sure they did not want a Hitler billboard truck parked outside their door.

But those who drive the Hitler truck "in solidarity" do not at all care whether the Jews they "support" find their intervention all that supportive. By golly, Berkeley Jews are going to get this allyship whether they like it or not! And this is hardly an isolated event. Jewish students at the University of Michigan were livid at the Canary Mission putting their campus under the spotlight, complaining that it was making the environment for Jewish students on campus worse rather than better. No matter. Canary Mission's support for campus Jews is cheerfully indifferent to whether campus Jews feel supported.

So we should ask: Why are the actual Jewish students so often an afterthought in campaigns nominally about protecting Jewish students?

Part of the answer goes back to the story I told a few weeks ago, about the man who became furious with me when he found out my experience at Berkeley wasn't the hellscape he insisted it must be. What kind of self-hating Jew doesn't hate it at Berkeley?

Jews on campus are a diverse bunch, and even as individuals often have complicated feelings. They are typically not, contra some very vocal activist groups, a collective of screaming anti-Zionists. They also typically are not eager to spend their collegiate days engaged in ideological trench warfare on Israel's behalf. They do not appreciate "allyship" that forces them into a combative posture they may not wish to take and may not think is warranted or effective under the circumstances.

And the tragedy is that too many of their would-be supporters won't defer to that judgment. No, it's worse than that -- they actively reject it. They are aghast at the university Jews who do not support their form of support. They view those Jews as craven, cowards, or perhaps even (as my troll thought of me) antisemitic sympathizers. Incredulity becomes resentment becomes rage, at these terrible campus Jews who are refusing to cooperate with the best-laid plans for keeping them safe.

At the extreme, the loudest voices outside of campus waging war against campus antisemitism sometimes seem as if they're almost as angry at the Jewish students themselves as they are at the antisemitism the students endure. Those who have invested so much into their identity as protectors of the Jews cannot easily accept the idea that they are, in fact, making Jewish lives worse. Far easier to decide that if one is fighting antisemitism, than the only persons who could have a problem are the antisemites, and if the Jewish students have a problem, then ergo.... 

In this way, the Jewish students become just another enemy -- and an enemy far more vulnerable and easily targeted than the antisemites are. It is another iteration of the theme I wrote about in "On Loving 'Jews' and Hating Jews": the defense of "campus Jews" is a defense of an imagined "campus Jew". If actual campus Jews turn out to be more complicated than the imaginary picture; if they don't want to play the role they've been assigned -- well, love for "campus Jews" very easily can breed hatred for actual campus Jews.

None of this is to say that campus antisemitism isn't real, terrible, and destructive. It creates a toxic environment for Jews at our nation's colleges and universities. But how much more toxic that environment is, when those afflicted by it know that too often the banner of solidarity will actual just generate a new vector of dismissiveness, disdain, or even hatred. Such is the terrible, tragic circumstance of being a Jew on campus.

via The Debate Link https://ift.tt/JGdAFKR