#he rly was so subtle abt his feelings the whole time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

icharchivist · 2 years

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merry christmas icha!! love ur new icon. fittingly enough, the stars aligned and i just went through the a very mankai christmas event! i think it's a nice touch the event wasn't actually on the day... but since it goes up to the 25th i thought it fitting to read through it now. i was very hype for the mixed troupe performances but i knew that tsuzuru would be in absolute hell the entire time. like not being able to contribute writing-wise would take a real toll on me. however i think despite that pain it would be SOO fun! one thing i feel very much is like when u meet people who are just starting out with like writing etc.? writing is very very reflective of the self i think. and u end up learning a lot about how people work when u see other people's creative output. but it would also be hell.

i guessed hisoka would be one of the main characters the moment he was like oh i have no. christmas ideas. and then the moment tsumugi was like oh sakuya do u have a christmas memory I remembered sakuyas family situation and when sakuya was like nah I gripped my chair like. sakuya hisoka event? sakuya hisoka event? AND THEN they both went … at the end of the scene so i did lose my mind. thats a veryyyyy fun duo i think in terms of thinking about dynamics. also the funniest thing is I actually put off this event for like a week bc this chapter in the event started with the like sad a3 flashback music and I was worried I couldn’t handle it like. what if it was hisoka and it like glitched or smthing like that bc he can’t flashback to anything. what if it was rly sad. but instead it was just juzas chocolate melting which is a tragedy but not one that will devastate me. oh also tsumugis story with tasuku is so sweet. i was like. wow. they were rly good friends. also i literally have a scene in my drafts somewhere where tasuku catches tsumugi before he trips. glad to see thats in character.

but sakuyaaaaa. i was rly expecting him to be the sort of basic "main character" of this game but i think a3 doesnt rly have that feeling? (probably helped massively by the fact that there's 4 different groups in the first place) anyways he is not boring to me at all. i feel like hes a little bit of a subtle character with a lot of interesting quirks? probably related to the whole. family situation hes got. but man. smthing about having to be good for christmas got me. and the way he feels guilty about lying and when he tells hisoka he had a bad experience hes quick to brush it off as not a big deal even though that's like. his big memory of christmas as a holiday. and it really feels like. honestly thinking abt how sakuya stuck to his lead role as romeo in act 1 i do think a lot about like. how sakuya probably feels he needs to act around other people and how he needs to be as a person. like does he ever think oh i'm not a good person. that's why no one likes me. that's why i never got christmas presents. sakuya i want to give you a very long hug. going to jump a little non-chronologically and say that hisoka getting him that cat plush was SO SWEET. i grabbed at my heart really it was so adorable. the way hisoka is so pleased abt it! it was nice to see that from hisoka too. like. hes not sweet always but when he is hes SWEET.

anyways back on chronology. when izumi went "im baking today since omi is busy!" my immediate response was to narrow my eyes thru the whole scene and then go "…you know how to make more than curry?" next the other team plays. as predicted the team tsuzuru was on (team a) was wild. they had a good time so good for them. what really makes me laugh is that apart from like team d with the mains of the event etc. i think team a may have been the only group to actually do a christmas theme. the sakyo and azuma thing was HILARIOUS. with the like soap opera relationship thing. azuma was the perfect person to play that lady kazumi... also!! sakyo mentioned thinking about doing mixed troupe plays in the future... thats a nice way to setup that since i do know it does happen later! so cool.

let's see the last things i had to say... oh right. hisoka Thoughts. he was so weird abt the snow he was like “snow…” TWICE. so i have to assume there's some memories associated with that. there was the ocean in winter's episode too right?? anyways. this goes next to my hisoka == december??? / chikage jacket? notes. i thought it was nice that it was sakuya who was with him when hisoka froze up on stage! like, i think he's probably the best person equipped to handle that kind of thing out of everyone. oh and also im not saying hisoka used his assassin stealth to sneak in a present in sakuyas stocking but im also not NOT saying that you know. i also have to wonder how citron's sleeping reflexes are considering my runaway prince theory... like either sleeps like the dead or super light sleeper i feel.

unrelated but during the party where homare is like "I ended up getting a little too intoxicated on life and wine" and then izumi said smthing that was basically like "homare u were just straight up crying" that made me laugh.

this was such a sweet event! it hit a good balance of being melancholy without being like too depressing, i think.

AAHH HELL YEAH!! MERRY CHRISTMAS KIRI!!! (and thank you for the nice comment on the icon <33)And this is such a perfect timing, i was thinking about this event all day yesterday which makes it perfect for a proper christmas mood.

I really love this event a lot, as a Hisoka and Sakuya enjoyer, as you can imagine. It was sooo good to me.

I do love how the event is spread out. most of the events actually are a bit like that, kinda fits with the fact events usually lasts about 10 days, so when the stories also take a long time it really feels like you're passing the days with them.

Tsuzuru's absolute nightmare was a highlight of this event for sure, it was so funny. Of course, also terrible to picture oneself into, but the whole thing was so fucking funny, he really was paired with the group of people that would give him the most headaches. Love Lady Luck on this one.

SAKUYA HISOKA EVENTTTTTT sobbing.

There were a few minichats that built up this duo before that which i always loved, which is that Sakuya often caught Hisoka sleeping in wild places and would cover him in blankets, and when Hisoka would complain he can't sleep in his room because Homare is being loud, Sakuya offered Hisoka to sleep into his bed in the meantime and Hisoka has been "i'm going to protect this kid with my LIFE" ever since, keep calling him a good boy from this point on already.

So when the event was specifically about Hisoka getting dedicated in making sure Sakuya was a good boy in a way Sakuya could get/that would override Sakuya's feelings that he wasn't one…. it felt very precious.

PUTTING OFF THE EVENT BC SAD MUSIC WHILE IT WAS ALL JUZA… THIS IS SO FUNNY HELPPP. Tsumu and Tasu's bit were really sweet yessss. and glad to see you also get them in character so well in your drafts on that.

And i agree completely about Sakuya!!! He's a bit of the posterchild of the app but it's especially because, as an orphan who feels like he constantly has to prove he has his place here, he makes for a great demonstration of the found family thematics of a3. But yeah i agee he's very subtle and interesting. It really strikes me that Sakuya has basically been raised into erasing himself, making himself as small and helpful as possible, not imposing himself, desperately trying to be good enough to be kept around. So when he's actually doing that in the story - rarely taking up the whole focus, apologizing for unconvegniancing anyone, not wanting to talk about the bad feelings of his past…. it really feels more like it's his habit of erasing himself in front of his neglecting family, than an idea that he's just a boring character who's good to be good. The whole thing about the "maybe i'm not a good boy" realization was devastating to me, because while it's such a childish thing, it's also obvious it carried on to his current age, and he definitely needed to hear that he was being good, but was never in a situation where he could actively express that he needed to hear that. That Hisoka made it his lifemission to make sure Sakuya knew he was good is so much to me. And yeah it is really interesting to put in comparaison to how he stuck to the Romeo's role. Sakuya kept repeating he'd be okay just being on the stage, but this was the one time, i think, that he allowed himself to be selfish. That he found something he wanted to be good at. Tsuzuru had written this role for him, laid all those hopes for him. And i feel like Sakuya was always so desperate to fill the expectations of his families, only to realize that those expectations was just for him to be as little of a problem as possible so he could be forgotten somewhere. While for once, he had an expectation on him that required him to be himself, and to bloom and grow as himself, and i think eventually, for once, to have this encouragement, really helped him for once to try to reclaim some place for himself. Meanwhile, yeah, i have no doubt there's a whole idea also of Sakuya thinking he's never going to be good enough, which is also why he is so eagger to try once someone give him a chance. But i want to give him a hug so bad too, my precious soon….

And really Hisoka's whole reaction to it was so soft. Like i said, already Hisoka just cares for Sakuya, but i also think like. Sakuya is a highly neglected kid, who basically erased himself for the sake of others. Hisoka, at this point in the story, has lived his memory loss as being erased from others's people lives as well, which was why he was so distant and aloof at the start, with no reason to try to connect to anyone. And i think it may play on how Hisoka just thinks that erasing yourself like that is just too much of a suffering that a sweet kid like Sakuya doesn't deserve.

I'm honestly just. so soft on "Hisoka: guardian of Sakuya's happiness". And the cat thing is so bites fist. Of course in the event they draw a direct comparaison to his role as the cat to the plushy, but it adds that there were a few backstages too where Sakuya kept comparing him to a cat. For instance, the Cheshire Cat's preparation N backstage had Sakuya basically decide "how to best act like a cat. I know. I'm going to learn from Hisoka.". It's like such a running joke between those two that i find it so sweet and gentle.

Back to chronology: listen you go "you know more than curry?" but she legit made them gingerbread. Gingerbread. That's still spices :sob: Girl still has a tunel vision, even if it's a little larger than usual.

For the other teams oh god yeah, it was such a mess. Tsuzuru suffering through puns. BUT YEAH, TRULY VERy CHRISTMASSY compared to the rest. They actually put an effort into it! Meanwhile Muku's team all on fanservice. Itaru and Tasuku being all "why are we doing this", meanwhile i can imagine yen signs in Sakyo's eyes as in "if it means the devoted fanbase invest in us, it's good. Do it again." Sakyo would totally exploit the fanservice there i swear. And the Sakyo/Azuma play was SO FUNNY it was SO DRAMATIC. And tbh with how much Azuma flits with Sakyo in backstages i have to believe it's Azuma who went "what if i play your lover ;D" while Sakyo is just "…. if it makes for a good play i'm in.".

BUT YEAH good set up for the mixed troupes, i love a3's build up.

Ok so obviously about the whole bit about Hisoka, i can't say much, despite wanting to say a lot, but well shoves fist in mouth i'm quiet. I love your thought process though. and yeah!! Sakuya being the one on stage really helped here. He's truly the king at improv to save his companions in time of troubles. I also still find it so touching that Sakuya went to check on Hisoka after the play because he caught on that something was going on, this kid is so perceptive.

and DLKFJD for the stealth HELP. And good question for Citron, that does raise question. Maybe Citron woke up to see it happen and realized it was for Sakuya to have a merry christmas and he closed his eyes back in solidarity. Or Hisoka's stealth is just that good! who knows!

DLKFJDLFKDF that line is so good. Homare i love you so much, don't ever change.

It was really a sweet event! i really loved their dynamic and truly as someone who adores those two; those two lonely kids, i was so in love with this event. crying so hard thinking about it everytime. But yeah, it kept such a good balance of fun and sweet that the little angsts there was wasn't soulcrushing. I truly adore this event

Glad you had fun and thank you for the sweet message <333 i didn't have the best of christmas to be honest but this ask truly lifted my spirit again a little, it was so nice to relive the event that way and it reminds me just how good those kids are. Thank you so much for the message <3333

Take care and i wish you a merry christmas :3c

#ichareply #aranarumei #ichafantalks a3

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astrolavas · 2 years

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please PLEASE do go on about how autistic Hunter is. As a probably-neurotypical person I love to learn more about neurodiversity from people firsthand rather than textbooks it's so cool, plus media diversity rep is something so important, I did a whole project about it actually

OKAY, BET

he's just...... soooo autistic-coded, like there's NO way he's neurotypical lmao (there are of course some things that he does that can also come from his PTSD or his upbringing/growing up conditions rather than autism (or just both! since they might overlap) but there's just.. SO much stuff that's strictly autistic that like........ it's canon. canon to me.)

like, how dramatic he is at times? the entire hexside scene???

the moment where he comes up to that one random kid like "CLASSMATE. ignore the fact that we'd never met, how would you say abt [gets straight to the point where he tells him to join a coven and leave his friends and family forever in an overconfident cheerful manner]" LIKE THAT'S SOOO XKSJKSK the manner in which he said it, the way he just came up to that random person outta the blue, how he got straight to the point, like COME ON

and THIS????

"teens are probably into the same things as me! like authority. and rules!" BRO........

also how expressive his face is (especially how expressive it is for some emotions and schooled/subtle for certain others)

oftentimes his choice of words and the specific intonation in which he says stuff???? 💀 "stop acting foolish" "it will take more than that to thwart my mission" "that's sacrilege" okay grandpa let's get you to bed nxsjksk BUT LIKE. NO, EVEN THE INTONATION he uses in very casual sentences, it's very...... yeah

how much he likes to share fun facts and talk abt stuff he knows abt and is interested in (wild magic, titan's veins/eclipse lake, mindscapes...)? and how he sometimes stops himself mid-sentence before he says too much? that could definitely be interpreted as info-dumping and special interests

how much he loves research in general? i just KNOW he loves knowing stuff and reading up on stuff and memorizing cool fun facts (him immediately reading all the grimwalker books he could find after finding out that's what he is- like obviously he did that, obviously he wanted to know what he is. but also just..... it's so, so very huntercore)

taking things literally.. wanting clearer/more direct instructions on stuff......

“i don’t feel sick” 💀

him just turning around and walking away with no word right away after willow introduced the rest of the team

him not realizing emerald entrails rly didn't want to join the emperor's coven and not realizing he did sth wrong until later, when he noticed willow was upset

THE FREAKING. DELETED SCENE FROM CLOUDS ON THE HORIZON in which he automaticaly moved to climb the vines onto amity's balcony along with luz and didn't get why luz could possibly wanna be alone with amity before willow and gus stopped him. willow and gus saying "you'll understand when you're older" and then him arguing with flapjack how he IS older, JUST. LMAO....

the whole description of him as this...... “prodigy” and everything related to that (not necessarily a positive thing, considering how he was treated and described as by many adults)? the little intricacies of it.... hm

him being kinda bad at lying and making up stuff

and even his stance sometimes???? boy

and not just THIS one, but. many many different poses in which he stands sometimes. very hmmm hm

how direct he is?

also this is a headcanon/interpretation but him constantly wearing gloves? and him saying "why are you touching it [the selkidomus] with your hands? gross"? sensory issues. so real.

also the sounds he makes and his squeaks???? how he sometimes fidgets with his hands/thumbs?

and MORE, like there are also many many moments that can be interpreted as other autistic traits or behaviours, just. ALL OF IT.

the crew did say that they've written neurodivergence into the show and into who these characters are intentionally, even if they might not be aware of some terms or labels at times, so like... i’m 100% certain hunter’s purposely written to be neurodivergent. and i’m gonna be very surprised if not specifically autistic (+ ptsd ofc)

he just... is.

anyway...

#there's probably more stuff that i'm forgetting at this moment but i'm so serious that there's sth in like Every Single Scene he's in. LIKE #and when i say he's like literally the most relatable autistic rep in media............ nxjknsxjxksk #some of his things he's got going on are hunter things instead of autistic things yeah but sometimes a hunter thing = an autistic thing #also the symbolism behind him wearing vs not wearing his mask and acting slightly different depending on circumstances and the moment #and just. yeah.. yea #nicole answers #hunter toh #Anonymous #my toh talk

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brackenfur · 3 years

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au starting from lost stars/one non canon event mentioned but i cant stop thinking abt a scene where bramblestar slips up abt thinking abt killing firestar in sunset n how squirrel would react to that. this is a very quick drabble aka its not rly thought out or edited, i jsut needed to write and get it out somewhere ! i also cant rly definitively say that everything abt bramblestars version of events/what squirrelflight knew abt the foxtrap scene is canon-accurate since its been a minute since ive read tnp + that time period is extremely muddled in terms of which author writes it and what any cat outside of bramblestar ACTUALLY knows.

anyways tysm for reading <3

"i've sacrificed everything for this relationship, for you," bramblestar snaps, eyes that were at one moment dim and exhausted from his oncoming illness now alight with anger. "you don't even know how much pressure i was under all those years ago, after we got back together and i became deputy. i was dealing with my new position, with thunderclan's mistrust, with hawkfrost telling me to-" and he stops dead in his tracks, eyes widening just slightly as he realizes he let something slip.

squirrelflight blinks, deeply uncomfortable by his reaction. she knows that he and hawkfrost kept communicating after she and bramblestar got back together, and she knows to this day that hawkfrost never had good intentions - but there is something about the way bramblestar looks away from her, how his fur prickles along his spine, that makes her think there's more to this story.

"hawkfrost telling you to what?" she tries to keep up her bravado and confrontational tone so he doesn't detect how disturbed she's becoming, but her voice wavers. "what are you talking about?"

"nothing," he says too quickly, shaking his head. "it doesn't matter. i'm tired, squirrelflight; this leafbare is the worst i've seen, and i'm not feeling my best, either. you know that - i've been so sick, and-"

"yes, you are sick, and i've told you to rest," she reminds him, cutting him off. "and i'm sorry about that, but what are you talking about with hawkfrost?"

"i said it was nothing."

"it doesn't look like it was nothing."

bramblestar sets his jaw, shaking his head. "you know how he was. i was just going to say that he was just trying to pressure me to stop talking to you, that's it."

it doesn't feel like that was it. she has no love for hawkfrost and doesn't particularly care that he didn't like her much either - but bramblestar wouldn't be so upset and secretive about something that trivial. there's more.

"you're not telling me something," she says finally. "i know you - or, i mean, i think i know you. you're hiding something from me about hawkfrost, and i swear to starclan - we just had a conversation the other night about being truthful."

"i've always been truthful."

"it seems like you're not right now, though. i've laid out all of my secrets and told you every bad thing i've done - i've let the whole forest know my demons. not by choice, but what's done is done. there's something you're not telling me about hawkfrost - and don't tell me he didn't like me, we all know that. what was he telling you to do?"

he twitches his whiskers. "squirrelflight, you need to drop it."

this just makes her more angry. "i've told you everything i've done and you're always going on about how we need to stay truthful to each other to make this work - whatever it is, i'll listen to you about it. i know how hawkfrost was - did he want you to take over the forest, or something? i know he talked to mudclaw about things like that; he wasn't subtle about his plans to be tigerstar junior."

bramblestar looks deeply uncomfortable. "i didn't do what he wanted me to do, you know i didn't," he finally says after what seems like an hour; she blinks, unsure of what he's talking about.

"what do you mean? like...yeah, you didn't take over-"

"he wanted me to become thunderclan's leader. that's it. now, please, just drop it."

she frowns. she kind of expected that, but there's....a deep shame in his eyes, and she thinks there's an element to this story he's not saying. he's being evasive and private, and her heart begins to beat harder when she really, really thinks back on all those years ago.

a memory surfaces, one that she always thought about with pain and yet an underlying feeling of pride - for brambleclaw, for her mate, for saving her father....

it hits her then. she always thought that the foxtrap was brambleclaw's moment of undying loyalty to her father - stumbling upon hawkfrost about to kill firestar, and immediately jumping to his defense. that's always how he told it, anyways; he knew what hawkfrost wanted to do, and put an end to it.

but there were always these underlying moments that she couldn't quite place over the years - some type of underlying shame and embarrassment that she just chalked up to grief for his brother.

they look at each other, and she tries to keep calm. "when you found my father in the foxtrap," she says slowly. "did you think about letting hawkfrost kill him?"

bramblestar's beat of silence is all she needed to know; he immediately tries recovering it, though.

"squirrelflight, i would've never done that- hawkfrost and tigerstar were-"

"tigerstar? what does your father have to do with this?"

bramblestar is very quiet; she thinks that the world around them is completely silent as they stand in the middle of a snowy clearing. the cold usually heightens the sounds in the air, but in this moment all squirrelflight can hear is the thudding of her own heart.

bramblestar seems like he's trying to piece his thoughts together carefully; she forces herself to wait until he finally says: "i was never going to do it," he says, voice tight with emotion. "squirrelflight, i loved your father - you know that." she can barely hear him anymore as she finally grasps what exactly he's telling her. "my father and my brother- you've heard about how they are from lionblaze and ivypool and the others that went to the dark forest, how could i have- they were my family once, i thought that maybe-"

so that was his big secret, the one that he never meant for her to uncover. everything makes a little more sense now; the guilt and shame in bramblestar's eyes for those first seasons after hawkfrost's death whenever he'd look at firestar, the overcompensation bramblestar tried to preform as deputy. it wasn't because he felt like he allowed his brother to cause harm to firestar before saving him, it was-

"hawkfrost told you to kill firestar," she says softly, looking up at her mate. "but that- if it was just that, you would have told me, not lead me to believe that hawkfrost was the one who wanted to do it all along," she feels herself shaking as the shame begins to come back into bramblestar's expression. "you thought about, didn't you? about killing my father so you could become leader?"

bramblestar gives one moment of hesitation, and she shakes her head.

"i'm going to be sick," she says quickly, stepping away from him.

"i didn't hurt him. it wasn't-"

"this whole time, you've shamed me and made me feel like the worst cat that's been born because i kept a secret for my sister," she almost spits, her fur raising. "i don't know if i was morally right or wrong, i don't know what anyone else would do in my paws during that time - but you made me feel like i was worthless for a year because i protected leafpool, and now i finally get to know that you not only met up frequently with tigerstar but that you actually- you thought about killing my father. you thought about hurting firestar just so you could become leader."

ashfur's jibe all those years ago suddenly makes more sense - after the fire, the way he bumped into her with his shoulder and sneered you don't really even know your own mate, do you?

who knew that even after all this time after his death, ashfur still got the last laugh.

#srry mobile users if the read more doesnt work!! sometimes they do sometimes they dont #warrior cats #im....very stressed bc of whast going on w my family rn and my sis' dog but writing this helped take my mind off of things #i hope u enjoy its been awhile isnce i wrote LMAO #also srry if its ooc/not lining up w canon but honestly idgaf i Tried #writing tag #shark noises

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reversecreek · 3 years

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pops hip n winks at the dash. haaaaiiii. me again. i’ve honestly missed playing lana fr a while she’s one of. my most treasured muses bc she’s jst a silly n vivacious ball of sunshine or alternatively? a train wreck depending on which way u turn her in the light..... i actually hv two playlists made fr her n one is rly old bt it’s more like. songs that Remind me of her which u can find here n then here is more like. stuff u’ll most often catch her blasting on her record player as she dances around in her underwear w the curtains open. OH and here is her pinterest 🍓⚡

* kristine froseth, cis female + she/her | you know lana jameson, right? they’re twenty-three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a few hours? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to play that funky music by wild cherry like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole cherry red gym socks worn with nothing else, doodling penises in the condensation of a stranger’s car window, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘scrappy doo is a filthy slut’ thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 2nd, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his wealthy best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n vic ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him.

(DRUGS TW) anyway so jameson records repped a few rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. real characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in. more zoo than home. more shaken snow globe than resting place. (END OF TW)

(ABORTION REFERENCE) her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana ws a kid she asked her why she’s so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door (END OF REFERENCE)

(DISSOCIATION TW) bc of the intensity of her parents ignoring her growing up lana adopted this sense of like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost bc she gt this strange outside feeling. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w no-one acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family. (END OF TW) her imagination festered an explanation out of smthn she didn’t understand essentially. lana used her imagination to do this a lot growing up. it ws kind of like the band aid she slapped over everything. after all she wasn’t alone if she was sword fighting imaginary pirates dwn the hallway with a poker from the fireplace.

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. he’s the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door bt was always over bc he had very strict parents tht he found suffocating)

(ARMY MENTION) SO when tommy announced tht he’d signed up to the army (bc of pressures from tommy’s military dad to fulfil some kind of stupid “legacy” tommy didn’t even care abt) n caleb said he was going with him lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving n was kind of like “wtf why are u doing this like what do u even think this is gna solve” etc n begged caleb not to leave her there on her own n jst to not sign up in general bc tommy had to bt he didn’t listen.

ERM i won’t go into it but it didn’t turn out well as u can probably imagine bc the army is a terrible industry n caleb had to return home without tommy. he wasn’t the same after that. (END OF MENTION)

what’d been a rly close relationship before where he ws basically like a surrogate father figure to lana was Not there any more. he ws rly withdrawn n always pushing her away n snapping at her for the sake of getting her to leave him alone. on top of this lana had a lot of shit go down while he was away n rly just shouldn’t have been a kid alone in tht house. regardless lana thought if she kept grinning as wide as she cld she’d convince caleb to join in too. maybe if she seemed fine n happy he’d take the lead. maybe she’d believe it too n start to feel it n everything could go bk to how it was before her world became so different. lana liked the way the sky flipped when she tipped her head back on the swings bt this was different. everything was upside down bt this didn’t make her belly feel like she’d swallowed a butterfly and it wasn’t funny bt still, she kept laughing. always desperate to find something to laugh at n if she couldn’t find it she invented it. as long as ur laughing the world can’t b that bad.

she ws always well liked in school bc she jst tended to treat everyone like they were bffs no matter who like u cld have literally bumped shoulders w her once in the corridor n she’d be like OMG HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII let’s kiss<3 n like she ws a huge notorious flirt w any n all as well as incredibly impulsive n jst. wild honestly to put it simply too bt things like. changed a bit frm 16 onwards. (HYPERSEXUALITY & IMPLIED TRAUMA TW) she jst became far more reckless honestly n like....... jst didn’t rly seem to care after a certain point abt herself too much.... got herself in a bunch of bad situations.......... kind of jst flung herself to the wolves numerous times without any caution abt the way they’d bite. formed a lot of self destructive habits one of which ws cruising craigslist personals fr random hook-ups n like. she literally cld have wound up in a ditch somewhere honestly it’s a shock she hasn’t. despite various dips n inclines in her journey navigating this side of her it’s very much still present in her life to this day n she struggles to kno hw to control herself at points. sometimes she feels like a melting candle tht needs moulding by thumbs until it can form a person again. sometimes she’s only sure she’s real when she’s being touched. (END OF TW)

ANYWAY. laughs nervously. went to college to study dance bc she’s always loved dance in general bt specifically ballet (despite definitely not hving the discipline for it) n honestly this was both good n bad fr her. had a whole string of terrible heartbreaking relationships bc she tends to fall into those hard n fast n they were w a lot of bad people fr like 98% of the time. she kind of learned more abt what love is during her time there tho which is a gd thing bt she still isn’t very good at knowing hw to believe she deserves it so it’s a process. she hd fun tho. threw 498572598475 outrageous n elaborately themed parties. ws friends w pretty much everyone on campus.

despite a strained relationship w her brother n having to go home to visit n check on him whenever he got rly bad it ws the first time it actually felt like she’d found a home in a lot of rly loving n genuine friendships n lana will never forget hw much that experience meant to her even if she definitely struggled there too. college felt like a place she belonged n then suddenly she couldn’t belong there any more n there was a big sense of floundering in that. like where do u go now when u’ve never known home elsewhere? how do u happily go out into the world if it means leaving ur world behind?

she applied to a dance company in LA n fell in w a pretentious art scene there full of wannabe andy warhols n the like. became a makeshift edie sedgwick to some guy w dyed white hair n the idea his every concept was revolutionary when rly he jst shot her dancing barely clothed splashing around in a random fountain in his friend’s mansion on an ancient film camera. she’d spend her days floating around on lilo’s and prancing in feather boas and racing with glitter leftover frm last night in her leotard w smudges of faint red lipstick to barely make her job on time. always a sexy train wreck bt this time? make it hollywood.

(IMPLIED ALCOHOLISM TW) i won’t lie to u lana hs always partied way too hard bt then partying way too hard turned into slurping merlot thru a crazy straw shaped like a flamingo at 4 in the afternoon wearing penis novelty sunglasses n it wasn’t quite so much of a party when u were doing it on ur own. this rly snowballed into place in college bt carried on n wound up getting her fired from the dance company bc she turned up to rehearsals drunk one too many times n they didn’t allow fr sloppiness like tht. it was a “professional operation” that didn’t “accept that kind of behaviour” bt lana was jst like ummmmmmmmm that’s totally dramatic btw way to spank me in the town square like i’m gale w a raw ass n back in the hunger games bt ok sure i’m out ig. BOOP! (literally booped the director on the nose before leaving) (END OF TW)

honestly hd no idea what to do w herself after her job fell thru in LA n was pretty embarrassed actually upon sobering up the nxt day. cldn’t bring herself to tell her friends for a hot minute bc she felt like a failure or smthn n she was meant to be living this glamorous life out there being the classic wild n silly n fun Lana Jameson. cldn’t figure out how to repackage it into a funny story tht wouldn’t worry ppl. eventually wound up jst caving n telling her closest besties (shoutout freya n rosa) bc she ws hving a weird time dating losers n randomly living in LA even tho she didn’t kno why she was there any more after losing the job n they were jst like. fk it then. jst come here. we’re in irving. and so? mizz jameson packed her bags....

PERSONALITY:

always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones

the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed a bit of an instagram following #nepotism bt also fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects. lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, bright red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights, holographic stickers of planets on her cheek n glitter used like highlight, 90% of the time a red lip) n bc she’s not gna make ur eyes bleed to look at or anything let’s b real

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once.

deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring Act tht femme fatales wear in movies w most ppl. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. hates being sad n always wnts to be happy / making ppl happy. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out. sometimes gets glimpses n feels the urge to close her eyes.

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories. she’s like oh ya this one time this guy made me ride him with a daddy saddle like i was woody and he was bullseye. he literally made me call him bullseye. or she’s like. oh ya once i had to run barefoot thru a cabbage patch bc this one farmer wanted to have a threeway w me n my friend tht we met off craigslist n every framed photo in his house was a pig dressed up in cosplay bt honestly they were kind of cute n he was sexy aside frm the murderous vibes n the fact he kept calling me babe which i’m pretty sure means he wanted to dress me up next bt like whatever honestly.... she tells jst the most batshit stuff n the person she’s telling it to is left blinking like. wtf.

uncontrollably flirty. insanely confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n will try. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine.

likes to roller skate n hs a red pair she’ll glide around in at night lit up by amber street lamps breath sticky w the taste of wine n lollipops probably heading to a random hookups. who needs ubers?

always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. honestly likes dangling her whole body halfway out too. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops.

luvs bowie (ONLY aesthetically) n prince (wholeheartedly) n madonna (completely) n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think.

daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. honestly it’s like a burning train wreck but u can’t quite tear ur eyes away. often the heart of many sordid gossip scandals.

PLOTS:

TBA bc she’s only jst arrived in town i won’t lie to u all but i’m gna whip things up on here anyway n link in chat w updates at some point........ that said? lana is insatiable n it isn’t rly unlikely tht she cld’ve bumped into ur muse in a grocery store aisle n somehow a wild spontaneous adventure spawned frm that alone.......... if u have any immediate ideas we can discuss 😋

#irvingintro #drugs tw #dissociation tw #hypersexuality tw #trauma tw #alcoholism tw #army mention tw #abortion mention tw #i won't lie to u all i like cleaned up this intro bt it's mostly old writing so forgive n overlook any rusty parts.......#it was a bit sickening hving to reread it bt. it does the job.

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tscmu · 4 years

Text

first dates with haikyuu boys :)

pt 1. - msby black jackals

genre; kinda fluff idk?? just kinda cute early relationship tings

warnings; secondhand embarassment, lil suggestive comments ( from atsumu who am i kidding )

characters; bokuto, atsumu, hinata + sakusa

all characters r timeskip and 18+ !!

koutarou bokuto

- bruh youd be terrified for this date like.. a guy youve hardly spoken to with a massive personality asking you to meet him at a tiny cafe.. ok

- hed love tiny cafes though like the ones nobody are in so its just you two.. AWH

- dates wouldnt be a massive thing to him so youd be dressed up casual formal with light makeup on and hed strut off the bus in his kit literally sweating, just left practice and youd be like 😳

- you wouldve met him at a club like a week back when you were both off your faces and youd wake up the next morning with no idea what happened the night before, just like 10 texts from someone with the contact name ‘BokJUt OWks MAn’ asking you on a date.. why wouldnt u say yeah??

- it would go rly well !!

- i think itd be a bit slow at first, like youre both describing your lives when.. it happens

- youre both just aimlessly chatting, both tuning in and out of conversation waiting for the food to come when.. you hear it. the thing that you did that you thought NOBODY else did. and he does it.

- “and one of my roommates tsumu always yells at me because i collect stamps-” “WAIT YOU COLLECT STAMPS?? ME TOO BRUH”

- youd both have a joint aneurysm literally

- after that youd be infatuated with eachother ITD BE SO CUTE

- youd get the bill both like a lil tipsy, heading further into the town to just go window shopping in the moonlight

- UWUWUWUWUWUWU pls

- then hed accidentally set off the jewellery shop alarm pointing at a pretty ring and poking the glass too hard-

- when your taxi came he’d be really sad.. then as you close the door hed just jump in and find his own way home HAHAHA

- 10/10 date would do again.. and you did

atsumu miya

- oh you would be EXCITED

- until you found out his suggestion.. one of his own fucking games

- you just cut it down to the fact that he was a personal volleyball player, he was probably busy, yk?? but no it was because he wanted to show off to you🙄🙄

- you met him on the street like he literally picked you up on the street.. only he yall only he

- well of course you liked him have you seen him

- you exchanged numbers and were texting for like a week ( where he just begged you to come to a game ) before finally you said ok

- because its a date you didnt wanna bring along someone else so you just kinda showed up on your own and followed the crowd.. before finding out you were on the WRONG SIDE OF THE COURT

- he teased you about this for years to come and you wanted to burst out crying every time

- after finally finding the right seat on the RIGHT SIDE, the players came out and.. lets say you were surprised

- you didnt know that much about volleyball beforehand but.. d a m n

- those uniforms were hot😳😳

- the game went well and they won ( to his extreme happiness ), and then you finally got to meet him again

- it was subtle at first, like while he was signing shirts hed look over his shoulder and wink or something lmao

- thats until hinata and bokuto got to the area you were at and went feral, killing tsumus whole vibe HAHA

- “OH SHIT THATS THE GIRL HE INVITED!!” “WAIT IS IT- OH HI Y/N!! HES BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOU FOR AGES HE EVEN JE-” “BRO FUCK OFF”

- to which you just laughed your head off about

- bro he gave you a kiss on the cheek when he walked over making all the fangirls go absolutely feral.. twitter talked abt it for AGES even after you revealed you were dating 2 months after it happened

- you had to wait around for HOURS whilst he talked to interviewers.. struggles of being famous🥶‼🔥

- but it was worth it ofc

- he took you out to this lil restaurant when he finally got away and even walked u home.. such a gentleman damn

- “so when can i see you again.. and maybe a bit more ;)” “sHUT UP-”

- lets just say u definitely did that again-

shoyo hinata

- oh my god hed be more nervous than you were

- hed overdress like.. not full suit but pretty damn close

- i feel like hed not be that focused on women?? the volleyball grind comes first yk

- but when he made eye contact w you across the meeting table.. jeez he went feral

- bro when he was asked a question he couldn’t function you were just like ??

- atsumu basically had to ask you out for him after it finished he was so nervous HAHA

- you called him cute when he pulled up and he genuinely turned into a tomato like.. ushijima would farm him if he saw him

- hed book you a table at this really fancy restaurant ( with a lil financial help from kenma ) and you were genuinely shocked lmao

- i feel like youd work with the jackals as like a promoter or sumn and hed just be shocked.. like he didnt know you even existed bruh??

- because of that hed be pretending hed had his eye on you for a while ( to which you just laughed knowing he was trying to be cool )

- hed tell you to order something expensive but you knew how much those guys got paid.. yeah no.

- but hed warm up MASSIVELY like by the end of it after a glass and a bit of wine youd both be like peas in a pod literally

- youd go for a lil walk around the city centre before u found a taxi.. HED BE SO SAD LIKE HE DIDNT WANT IT TO END??

- hed go in for the kiss i know he would

- youd be like ??? but kiss him back bc why wouldnt u hes a baby

- best date you’d had in a couple years by far

kiyoomi sakusa

- you literally wouldnt realise it was a date until the end i stg this man

- hed deadass show up to ur door and be like ‘cmon’ and youd be like EXCUSE ME SIR-

- i feel like you wouldve known eachother for at LEAST a couple months

- and he wouldve just done NOTHING like you didnt even know he felt a romantic connection to you

- but trust me he did

- he just didnt know the words to say :(

- but this is what the lads told him to do LMAO

- before u knew what was happening you were in the backseat of a taxi and he was telling them a street in the middle of the city-

- “oh we’re going out to dinner” “wha- i didnt bring my purse tho-” “eh.” literally

- you were kinda surprised because you knew how much he hated crowds and dinner in the city seemed unlike him, more like something you would enjoy

- but thats exactly why he did it

- youd pull up and do a double take when he was asking for a table.. WHO THE FUCK WAS SITTING AT THE BACK OF THE RESTAURANT

- however after being motioned to shut up by atsumu you acted like you saw nothing

- it was just like the other times youd hung out but he was a little more.. interested in you

- not like suggestive, he just genuinely was asking about like how your day was, etc IT WAS CUTE AS HELL

- it was at that point you realised oh shit, this might be a date-

- when it was over you suggested going into the city and looking in shops for a bit, but the restaurant filled with people was enough for him lmao

- you got a taxi back and were standing outside your apartment door when he did something hed never done before

- MANS HUGGED YOU

- it was then you realised.. did he actually like you??

- spoiler he did

- and things were different between you ever since IM UWUING PLS

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icecreamkink · 4 years

Text

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence .... but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured.

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot” that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird.

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong!

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that?

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation, and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like Like them, as in, personality wise

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues,

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon,

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying!

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses?

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :(

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting?? ? ?? ?? ? ? ? ?? ? ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture... uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@ johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart.

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

#m.#did i procrastinate watching this since it came out and only watched it now bc my sister nagged me to when i said we should #watch karate kid over the holidays?#and then binged the whole thing in two days??#mayhaps and what abt it #cobra kai #the karate kid #its funn #y bc like karate kid is a Childhood movie but i wouldnt say #it was like particularly special for me?#like i wasnt in a fandom or anything #but now.#i might be invested #maybe #talvez

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miru667 · 4 years

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i wanna know how you! draw the onceler because your drawings of him are so pretty and i wanna know the process of it :DDDD

very long and embarrassing answer in which i expose myself as a crazy person so i’m putting it under a readmore

skdgjkfg THIS ASK ISNT ANY MORE SPECIFIC !!! 😂

orzzzz my process is extremely long and complicated and like,,..idk how to explain that what i basically do is:

1) draw the onceler (eyes>eyebrows>nose>mouth/face shape/ears>hair>hat>neck>rest of body) 2) decide it’s not good enough and completely redraw him

i probably spend 5% of my drawing time doing actual drawing and the rest of the 95% is spent troubleshooting and fixing mistakes until im satisfied. art is suffering.

and i wasnt kidding with my last answer. Ed Helms called him “extremely sexy”, so it’s canon in my mind that he’s intended to be attractive, so my #1 priority is to try to make him HOT. while still keeping somewhat faithful to his original design. so that involves a lot of studying of movie screenshots and also looking at a large variety of other ppls’ onceler fanart and figuring out what exactly i like abt the way they drew the onceler and why.

so from movie screenshots i’ve noticed things like the subtle upward angle of his eyes, his high cheekbones despite his round face, how far his mouth is relative to his nose and chin, the way his hair parts and curves and separates into which strands and where, the shape of his eyebrows, all of this and more (so far i’ve only just been talking about his head here) you can gather from just looking at screenshots. you know the trope where a person is lying in bed with their significant other and staring at them cuz they wanna memorize every inch and curve of their face and body? that’s me with the onceler. so again i wasn’t kidding with my last answer. i drew us like rly close buds in that interaction, because we metaphorically are.

anyway, so then i keep all of those details in mind while translating into my art style, and we all know every artist’s style is really just an amalgamation of other ppls styles that they found inspiring. so what does my style end up doing? It makes his hair a lil more tousled. it makes his nose a lil more pointy and further from his eyes, which i also make larger and more defined (i had a much more anime style before i joined onceler fandom). his jawline is a lil more defined as well. and i ALWAYS have to correct myself when drawing his eyes - i always draw them too far apart and have to move them closer to each other for that seussian look. i curve his mouth upwards for that seussy look too. sometimes i take the middle strand of his bangs and have it fall downward instead of curving up like in the movie, if i think he doesn’t look hot enough in my drawing. or i take the hair in front of his ears and bring it more forward or have it curve in front of his cheek. and usually it works. so all of these stylistic decisions are things i’ve seen from others’ fanart and got inspired by.

AND THEN i look at the drawing, and if i feel like it's not good enough, i’ll redo entire parts of it. or i’ll look at movie screenshots again to see if i’m straying way too far. So this is how my first draft of the press conference drawing here:

eventually became THIS later on after many hours of self critique and experimental redraws of one line at a time:

and this is all like, just scratching the surface lol like his clothes would be a whole ‘nother long ramble of a post!!

#miruask #miru art #reference #tutorial #it's not actually a tutorial im just tagging it as that for organization #simpin for twinks #onceler

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smalltragedy · 3 years

Text

* justice smith, demi man + he/they | you know gabriel de leon, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, six years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 1984 (infinite jest) by the used like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole waking up in a body as heavy as the dead, emotions always on the verge of spilling over - you laugh before the punch lands, the belief that every encounter you have will be the last thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 31st, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

hi im just reposting gabe’s intro bc its been a very long time n im starting a little fresh hehe. yes i do regret the text color bt im not going back.

VIOLENCE TW

mini playlist.

ghosting ;; mother mother / roam the room ;; citizen / art of doubt ;; metric / thnks fr th mmrs ;; fall out boy / heart in a cage ;; the strokes / where is my mind? ;; the pixies / flowers grow out of my grave ;; dead man’s bones / 1984 (infinite jest) ;; the used / blister in the sun ;; the violent femmes.

statistics.

full name: gabriel de leon.

nickname(s): gabe.

birthday: october 31st, 1997.

zodiac: scorpio sun, scorpio moon, gemini ascending.

label: the icarian.

hometown: belleville, new jersey.

sexuality: bisexual (masc-leaning).

pinterest.

biography.

it’s only rly ever been gabe n his mom n the little new jersey suburbs that r always the same no matter where they go. they dn’t speak abt fathers or brothers or spain or anywhere other than the now, and how its constantly changing bt oddly the same.

his mom’s name is sonia n we love her. she worked a lot as a single mom n p much hs done everything on her own ever since leaving spain.

they dn’t talk abt spain bt we cn talk abt spain n hw sonia hd grown up partially there n partially in the states n hw she’d originally planned to live there forever bt the man she’d fallen in love with ws involved in some. high class dangerous shit n it ws safer fr them to part even if tht involved leaving everything she knew n loved <3

bt its like. ok. bc she hd gabe <3 n they dnt talk abt it so it practically nvr happened. n she tries her best as a mom n usually tht is enough.

they moved around a lot just bc sonia is a very. flighty person. anxious bt nvr seems tht way is just always. tense. gabe didnt think she ws capable of relaxing fr. a rly long time.

she wld commute 2 nyc every morning n after school gabe wld climb onto the train n by the time he got 2 her place of work she’d be just getting off n they’d get a slice of pizza n sometimes they’d go somewhere like central park or coney island (just fr the novelty) bt most of the time they just got back on the train home w/ gabe either doing homework or napping on her shoulder.

when gabe got a little older he’d sometimes skip school n take the train after sonia had already gone so he cld spend the day in nyc. he liked learning bt didnt rly like school. he nvr properly fit in bc of the amt of times they’d move so it felt like nowhere ws. right fr him.

got rly involved in. the punk scene as a young unsupervised teenager n tht led 2 a lot of like. shitty stick n pokes bt also a love of. very loud angry music n a sense of justice tht he held tightly in his fists. got mouthy towards bullies whether at school or in the scenes he involved himself in n started getting into a lot of fights bc of it.

during this, sonia ended up dating n marrying gabe’s stepdad who he calls craig sometimes bt i dnt think thats his name i wont lie to u guys. its partially a joke n partially purposeful disrespect bc gabriel does not trust a single man bt like. man. ‘craig’ is just an accountant. he’s fine he’s a good dude. they once bonded over like. the mets.

violence tw // anyways. when gabriel ws 16 he got into a super super bad fight tht ended rly. terribly n like listen. nobody died bt it ws just. it got blown up very out of proportion n gabe might’ve gotten expelled even tho he wsnt even the one who started it bt thts okay. ‘craig’, or paul, suggested tht maybe. a change of scenery wld b good fr gabe n b4 they knew it they were. moving to paul-robert’s hometown of irving, north carolina. violence end of tw //

he wld’ve complained more bt. fr sonia’s sake gabe kept it 2 himself. it made her happy 2 see them all get along anyways n like. idk he cld put forth tht little effort <3

bt honestly like. he didnt rly get into too many fights once they moved down here n even tho sometimes he ws like. ommgg. i hate this town .. its so washed up .. he still made friends n like. the only thing tht changed ws tht it ws a lil harder fr him 2 acquire illegal substances.

anyways. currently he hs a tattoo apprenticeship n is a professional piercer n like. he plays guitar n writes songs bt thts more of a hobby rn than anything else. mostly focused on paying his rent at port apartments bc as much as he. loves his mom he does not want 2 live with her forever <3 n thts okay!

personality & facts.

overall xtremely passionate person like god. feels emotions so intensely. every time he opens his mouth n talks abt an interest of theirs its just very like. u listen n ur like oh. gained 2 inspiration. thanks.

clings onto his friends p tightly bc he like. nvr rly stayed in one place fr super super long in new jersey so he nvr made very long term friends n now hes like. very clingy HLKDSHLKFSHLKDG also hates to b alone. subtle desperation behind interactions with ppl he rly wld like to be friends with.

like dnt get me wrong hes gotten into. sm fights bt thts mostly bc he cannot keep his mouth shut n he also cnt stand douchebags he like. always wants to tear them down prob bc he ws a victim of bullying. n u know what. we support him. otherwise he loves ppl bt esp if they hv similar interests 2 him.

like golden retriever who bites kind of. intensely loyal but at the same time is very skeptical. things tht good things do not last very long even though they’ve been doing already fr the last few years.

also bit of a nerd. they were nvr rly a big fan of school bt theres smth abt a good superhero comic tht draws their attention more than like. any english class evr. bt seven soldiers of victory? classic. big dc fan.

uh. very into like. hardcore music. hardcore rock. punk. if its loud n angry they r into it like so so much. hs sm tattoos is like. super covered in them its partially bc they work at a tattoo shop n partially bc they do not know hw to manage their money well.

ooohh u know what theyre. kinda moody i wont lie to u. very defensive like they dnt evr wna talk abt their past. has experienced Things n they do not wish to discuss them. will usually like. deflect frm conversations he doesnt wna hv.

in tune with nature. loves fkn taking walks. hangs out in the woods by abernathy creek n lilac ridge bc nobody rly goes there n its just. nice

tries not 2 take anything super seriously 2 the point where when he does take smth seriously its a little scary bc theyre super intense abt it. forcibly optimistic even tho on the inside he feels like a total pessimist. lots of. deep down insecurities tht he projects by attaching himself p firmly onto others. >.>

so so so energetic. can never stay still. always hs to be moving around. restless like tht. probably got it frm his mom. overly protective over the ppl he loves. probably got it frm his mom as well.

goes onto Tangents bt also divert frm those tangents n is generally all over the place.

always cold n always looks tired n like he hsnt slept in a thousand years n u know what. sometimes he just does not sleep.

oooohh theyre a vegan. totally into animal rights. devious little demi man beyond that .. loves horror n the paranormal n believes in like. every cryptic. will debate u on it.

erm not. the kindest 2 themself theyre a bit self destructive. impulsive. drives very fast n parties super hard. said i will hv my effy stonem moment. u dont hv to gabe.

bt ya! luvs oranges n reds n is maybe a short king. hs an eyebrow piercing n like. a lip ring i wont fk around here he IS living his best emo life in 2021. a little outdated on the trends bt thats okay. probably will tell u hes frm new jersey. its a personality trait. smokes the shittiest cigarettes ever.

wanted plots.

just ghosting along ,, dnt even exist 2 me ,, ;; god. firstly just the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs like. spoken to romantically n then dropped suddenly. n then maybe like. one tht actually Hurt bt they cnt avoid each other bt theyre actively pretending each other doesnt exist n its. hurtful bc it ws like. actually smth nice bt <3 ykno FKLFSDHG

hey hey heyy c’maahn i’m just a little guy ;; n this is the vast amt of ppl tht gabe hs probably. pissed off n hs either fought or been on the verge of fighting just. unable 2 resist a good bicker-turned-duel.

just blistering in the sun ;; they cld b close friends bt also they cld also not b bt just ppl who. indulge in bad impulsive decisions with gabe. general bad influences on each other’s health n just. no good! party hard bt at what cost.

n also ;; like ... rly solid good friendships ... flings n maybe an exe or two tht either ended on good terms or just. horrendous, ppl they’ve distanced frm, ppl also frm up north, piercing customers, bt not tattoo customers bc im p sure they’d get fired if they were just tattoo’ing ppl willy nilly, etc.

#irvingintro #violence tw #(more of a brief mention)#bt still #jst reposting bc its been so long JFGDHFDSGSLFKG

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steponmepinkjun · 3 years

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I NEVER FINISHED MY STORY OMG. ok so i left off at being too proud to tell my friend she was right and kpop fucked hard. the difference between u and me is that i’m too good of a liar. too good. i kept up the “i hate kpop it’s cringe” facade for ALMOST TWO WHOLE YEARS, I SHIT YOU NOT. why? bc my dumb ass, extra ass, dramatic ass self thought “ok if i’m gonna have to deal with the embarrassment of admitting i’m wrong, i better do it in such an extra ass way it’ll knock ur socks off so hard that YOULL be the one embarrassed not me.” the original plan was to learn the entire choreography to bts dope, bc it’s the song that she told me to listen to and inevitably the song that got me into them, but later switched to bts fire bc i saw too many of those “choreo matches w any song” videos, and then her birthday party came up. and here’s the real kicker. her birthday is April Motherfuckin Fools. so it would be So Perfect for me to reveal my kpopism as a birthday present And a april fools prank in one. so i was Set on the Reveal being on april 1st, but the day rolls around and god that choreo is so fucking hard and i am Not a dancer. never have been. so i abandon that and go ykno what… i’ll do it Next Year. BC MY BITCHASS WAS LIKE NO THE MOMENT IS TOO PERFECT TO DO IT ON A NORMAL ASS DAY ITS GONNA BE ON APRIL FOOLS ON HER GODDAMN BIRTHDAY OR NOT AT ALL. a year rolls by, i’ve told most of our friends except her and they’re all in on it, i’d made so many subtle kpop references to her without her realising they were fully intentional and had too many scares where she almost figured me out but i lied my way out of it, and i’d given up on showing off with choreography bc i couldn’t make that shit look good. i’m not a dancer. i am, however, a rapper, and a damn good one, so i inhaled the agust d mixtape and decided i’d just rap the eminem of kpop’s anthem at her face. in korean. and change the lyrics at the end (if u haven’t listened to agust d, the bridge repeats “i’m sorry” a lot) to “i’m sorry i kept this from u for so long” and “i’m sorry i actually ult got7 not bts” (this was like the april after skz debuted ok i was holding onto got7 for dear life knowing full well skz we’re going to convert me smh) and the best part? she never saw it coming. her official present was a cd with a bunch of kpop on it but she thought it was just a personalised mixtape for her so i told her to play the first song out loud and she knew the song Instantly. it has a long intro so she was like “i guess u did listen when i recommended u this song!! i knew you’d like it since u like rap so much!!” and then i started rapping and i shit u not. she started SCREAMING. like the initial reaction was her jaw dropping and then instinctively covering her mouth but when i kept going and she realised i wasn’t fucking around she just fucking screamed like a banshee. at the end during the sorry bit i threw off my jacket to reveal a got7 shirt on the inside and she fell off her chair and started rolling around on the floor. needless to say it was every bit as satisfying as i thought it’d be LMAOOOO afterwards her ass was like “I CANT BELIEVE U HID THIS FROM ME FOR OVER A YEAR” and when i tried to explain my ego couldn’t take the “i told u so” she was like “you know i wouldn’t have made fun of you for it right? i would just be glad you’re not hating on my boys anymore” so basically i’m a big dramatic fool and she was always too good for me.

don’t mind the weird spaces here my ipad is being all fucky wucky w me rn. damn sad to hear ur sideblog experience didn’t go so well, i’d have shown u the cool side of the fandom if i knew 😤😤 leading u thru the cursed halls of kpop stan tumblr like a sketchy tour guide that’s actually 3 small raccoons stacked on top of each other like a trench coat, like “over here we have the fanfic writers that honestly need to publish a book, over here we have the gif makers that are responsible for my entire camera roll, if we take a quick swerve past the death threat anons and the twt fanwar screenshots - mind ur feet bub the 14 year olds were tryna make a grab for ur ankles - ah here’s the holy grail of shitposts, you might be here for hours, to the right we have the weird aussie side of the fandom that projects our childhoods onto chanlix but also all the members as we decide what their life in australia would’ve been like, and down there is a secret trapdoor to the blogs w endless random headcanons that will make you laugh, cry or blush depending on if the author woke up and decided to choose violence today. enjoy your Stay!” but then again i’m not so active on tumblr anymore (ngl you’ve become the highlight of my tumblr experience these days, interaction wise,) so maybe all my Local Hotspots are inactive now. i know a bunch of them are, it’s sad. “i don’t fw stan twitter for the same reason i don’t hang out in meth dens” oop. guess i’m a meth addict. no but i get u i rly do, it’s a hellhole out there, but the fact that things get shared and spread a lot easier than on tumblr and how short most things have to be (therefor keeping up w my adhd attention span without having to resort to the mental torture that is tiktok, with the added bonus of not always needing headphones.) that i just. couldn’t leave if i tried. maybe i should try being active on tumblr again but it’s a dying site in comparison.

“their music doesn’t consistently hit for me as much as skz” i’m sorry we can’t be friends anymore. what. what. you don’t dramama ramama ramama hey? you don’t feel a little jealousyyyyyy, naega anin? you don’t shoot out, shoot out, shoot out, or aremdaeun love killa love killa? you can’t be your hero du du du du du du du du du dududu? u disappoint me. literally like everyone i know who likes skz music likes mx music like it’s a rite of Passage. they’re kindred spirits, monsta x music is like skz’s music’s cool but mildly heterosexual older brother. neither of them know what a bad song is it runs in the family. and both their music runs in my VEINS. whenever i describe my music taste they’re always the first two that come to mind, skz being my number 1 bc they are my best boys but mx bc of the Flavour. pls listen to the entire the code album then get back to me 😤🙌 ok but fr ur so right they are 7 of the finest men i ever seen (yes i say 7 bc i’m including wonho cause he deserved better and i’ll die on my ot7 bullshit.) like don’t get me started on them either LOL i LITERALLY downloaded that one insta video of changkyun working out his back n arm muscles w his tattoo showing bc i needed that shit saved for Science. they could do Anything w me like frfr. yes vixx is the bdsm contract group i’m telling ya they wildin. or at least they were. it’s been years since their last comeback idk what they’re doing anymore tbh. and yeah that makes sense, savouring the hyperfixation i feel it, but also i’m so attached to skz that i never let it die. like i hyperfixate on other things and other groups but i will Always go back to skz cause they’re my homeboys. hell, they’re my home. being a predebut stay i’ve spent more time w skz than most of my actual family members at this point. but that’s just me you do u boo xx just know that if ur anything like me ur never letting go once skz it’s been my longest lasting fixation cause they hit like Nothing Else Do. ik i’ve already said that but i cannot stress it enough. they’re really special. i’m gonna stop here before i get all sappy and emotional bc i really love those boys so fucking much and i don’t drop the L bomb often. SIDE NOTE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE UR LIST OF GROUPS RANKED BY THORSt. i need to judge ur Taste. and omg cat&dog is such a guilty pleasure song bc the lyrics make me cringe so much bc while pet play can be fun they be doing it in more of an “i’m an innocent soft dogboy uwu” kinda way that just Does Not Sit Right with me. it comes back to the objectifying of asians that asians themselves don’t help in industries like these and maybe i’m looking too far into it when rly it is just wholesome n cute or maybe they are into some pet play shit idk idc i will bop to the song regardless but i will not acknowledge the lyrics nope.

YOURE RIGHT THO SKZ’S OPENNESS IS IN FACT, A BIG DEAL, i’ll grab them for u if u want but i found these twt threads of skz supporting the lgbt community and i just felt a special kind of happiness man like sure the delusional part of me likes going “haha they’re gay” bc my brain likes to imagine them as my polycule of mlm boyfriends bc sometimes thats what gives me the serotonin to get me thru the day ok don’t judge but also bc it’s nice knowing that yes i’ll never know them personally, but at least i can support them knowing they’d respect my gender identity and my pronouns, they’d respect who i choose to love, and that’s already more than the general public can say so shit, it is special! it’s special that they don’t treat being cishet like the norm - they constantly remove gender from their songs and speech entirely, they don’t assume all stays are female anymore, we don’t talk abt the babygirls incident cause we got babystays in the end outta that ok, and it’s just. so refreshing and important to me bc i can’t get that anywhere else!! like my semi ults are the boyz and while i love them very much and there’s no way all 11 of them are straight i refuse, i do get just a little bit sad whenever they she/her their fandom by default and call them their girlfriends n shit even tho i do still identify as a girl, i’m also genderfluid/nonbinary/transmasc, and i have a very love/hate relationship w my womanhood and rarely use she/her pronouns, cause it’s like, do you not see me? see us? the ones who aren’t cishet women? i mean i know kevin does bc he congratulated a fan who came out as nb but it’s just not the same as the openness we get w skz. like how do i trust cishets i could be supporting them as a queer person when in reality they’d call me a slur. what would i know, behind the screen? so it’s so good that skz go the extra mile to make it a safe space for everyone. this is already long enough i will reply to the second half of that ask in another message… tomorrow cause it’s 1am and i’m tired gn -felix bi anon

I'mma have to start putting these under a readmore so that i don't absolutely make everything who is still following me for some reason go totally fucking insane 😂

NDJDHWJJAHFNAKBSJSBFBHHDBDNAJD YOU HAVE NO IDEA THE FACES I WAS MAKING READING THIS, I WAS FUCKING CACKLING AND GASPING EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO HARD THAT I SCARED THE CATS NDJWHSHSB the fact that you went "oh you want me to get into kpop? Give me a hot minute, and I'll give you a whole ass private concert for free" biduehsjdbd biiiiiiiiiiitch you're a fucking ICON, I stg I could NEVER 😂 (and not just because I couldn't find a tune if you gave me a printed set of Google maps directions and that I embody the steriotype that white people can't dance, like my sister kept sensing me tiktoks of the whole "dance like a white girl" trend going lmfao look it's you and eventually I was like "sis please this trend has me feeling like being white is a disability and these mothafuckers are being ableist 😭 also I could NEVER be that on beat so yall ain't even doin it right 😭😭😭😭"). Tbh if I told one of my friends (lol what friends, i got jokes) to get into Skz and they showed up at my bday and performed the entirety of I Got It I would simply shower them in money and go "aight everyone else go home, you are no longer needed, you are being laid off, your position has been eliminated, we're downsizing, the company is moving up and you're moving out, you are not qualified for this role any longer, best of luck with future endeavors" 😊

I think part of the reason I can't deal w Twitter is the exact reason I refuse to leave tumblr, in that I've been on tumblr since 2006 and twt since 2008, and tumblr literally has not changed at all, not even a little, whereas going from the early days of twt where there were no corporate sponsorships or ads and you had to manually copy and paste someone's tweet and @ them to retweet it, to how it is now, like 90% ads and showing me shit from the timelines of people I don't even fuckin follow n whatnot, it's just not enjoyable. Idk how anyone finds anything on twt, it confuses and frustrates me because I am old and have not adapted well to technology changing 😂 But arguably, the skz fanbase doesn't want me on skztwt anyways so like it works for both of us lmfaooo. I am old and cringey, and also still think of twt as stream of consciousness whereas tumblr is your teenage bedroom where you can decorate the walls with anything that interests you. I do really love the nonsensical kpoptwt shitposts tho fhshsbdjjss like it is a very specific flavor of mental instability that I enjoy immensely 😂 OH and also I initially misread part of that and thought you were saying you actually irl do meth and I was like 😳 WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT. HOW DO I HANDLE THIS. Like how do I express like "I wasn't being judgy of people who use substances cause I've been there but I was just being insensitive 😳" And then went back and reread it and was like WHEW, IM JUST AN ILLITERATE FOOL 😂😂😂😂 ejeywhdhrhjwbfbdjshdhdhd I spent like an hour bwign like "IS THE REASON WE GET ALONG BECAUSE THEY'RE ON METH???? WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS INFORMATION??????" hrhehshe I am literally a fuckin idiot it's fine

It's not that I don't fw them, it's more like... Okay so like there is no situation in which I am going to skip a skz song if it comes on shuffle. You will not ever catch me NOT in the mood to listen to Sunshine, if God's Menu comes on we are THROWIN the meager amount of booty meat I got hither and thither, I could be in the happiest mood of my life but if Ex comes on I will stop to SOB. And I'm not like that with most music, so mx just falls into the category of "there is a time and place." Idk why but it just doesn't forcibly grab hold of my heart and ass the way skz always does. I really don't WANT my skz fixation to ever end, but I know that eventually it'll stop giving me dopamine bevause my brain is my worst fucking enemy 🙃 like my arcana fixation is to date the longest running hyperfixation I've ever had, going on almost three years, and I used to not be able to spend every single second of every day thinking about Asra, but now... I just feel nothing when I look at arcana stuff. As you can probz tell by the fact that I hardly post arcana anymore 😂 So I know that eventually all my happiness will end, it always does, I can never stay just as obsessed with something as I was for long. I CANT SHARE THE LIST BECAUSE I DONT *HAVE* TASTE YET 😭 I'm basically just compiling a list of any group someone tells me I should look into, ranked by how strong the kitty purred upon googling pics of them 😂 My mom read my ass to FILTH over txt lmfao she was like "they're not that adorable. Maybe your standard for adorableness has gone down with You Know Who still on hiatus 🤔" bfjwhdhd like MOMMAAAAA THE LIBRARY IS CLOSED 😂 she attacks me any time I even hint at stanning other groups, she is a skz purist and stans skz only, unofficial Momma Stay of All Stays keeping me in check lmfao.

I feel like skz really do follow thru on their promise that they're a safe space for stays, it's nice to see that they hold space for anyone and everyone in their fanbase and do it in a really simple and elegant way, I feel. Like they never make it seem like "okay here are the fans and here are the token weirdos that were only recognizing to make a buck off of them" the way a lot of artists make it feel like 😑 like they don't go out of their way to act like it's some revolutionary act to do the bare minimum of not shitting on certain parts of the fandom, if that makes sense. They feel very "yeah, of course we love all our stays, this is a welcoming space for literally anyone, that's how it should be, that should be normal," instead of like "Hi fans we love you 😊 and special shoutout to you ell gee bee tee folk, make sure to buy my rainbow merch after the show!!!" you know? Like, they're the friends who would never make you feel weird or different for some shit, the friends that take the attention off you if something they know ur sensitive about comes up, instead of weirdly snapping at whoever brought the unfomfy thing up which ruins the mood and makes you feel tiwce as bad, yk? They just give off this vibe that they, and the space they create with their music, is just a genuine and chill place to be and hang out and relax and bond. I feel like they'd be the friend group that is so goofy and sweet and silly and accepting and lovely and always makes you feel loved and excited to be alive 🥺 They are all good noodles 🥺🥺🥺

#felix-bi-anon #asksteppie

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faunusrights · 4 years

Text

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

She chose not to dwell on it.

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in.

[...]

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are.

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke.

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.”

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

#liveblog #rwby #offal hunt

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cnc-hoebayb · 5 years

Text

The boys as supportive hype men bfs

For when you’re lookin extra fine and they just wanna hype the shit outchu

Zabdiel

-“dimelooo mamiii”

-literally that ^ but with different inflections on dif syllables everytime depending on mood/situation lol

-not a very big social media man, but will post a quick story of you like “🥴❤️” dressed in something reeeeaal nice then delete it later (bc he want u for his eyes only duH!)

-but in public tho !!

-wow

-that’s his game, he’d be huggin all up on you like no ones watching

-Defintely would get caught by the paparazzi for some “provocative touching/staring” with each other

-Buys you everything

-flowers in that little shop on the corner? Done. Ice cream on the street that looks way too good? Chocolate vanilla swirl it is.

-Would probably go all out and buy you a new fancy piece of jewelry too

-its his own lil ritual to get u a new pair of earrings that match with the particular outfits he loves to see you in uwu

-he honestly seems like he’d want to hype you up all day but then spend the rest of the night with you in private

-hype you up in his own personal way ayooo

-details? I think a lil bit

-whisper dirty praises in your ear about how good you look

-goes in between rough and tender touches over his favorite parts of your body

-dead eye contact the whole time so it’s super intimate

-k that’s all u get u thirsty hoes

Erick

-does that thing to random strangers like “that’s my gf” and points at u

-for literally anything

-like when you’re ordering food for you both at a fast food place and he’s watching you lookin snackish tell them you’d like two number 5’s

-he leans over to the old lady next to him like “that girl- mi novia 😉”

-he’s also very vocal

-just likes you or him (or both) to be the center of attention

-“SHES WALKING IN AND SHES SO HOT GUYS WATCH UR FUCKING SELVES”

-kinda embarrassing but at the same time so sweet and way flattering so u don’t front bout it

-doesn’t really show you off on social media, but more in public or to his family

-Just wants to show his favorite ppl his fav person and how amazing you are

-compliments you all day

-really bad pick up lines mostly

-but they’re so bad that they’re actually really cute and funny

-pretends that youre a stranger at a store and hits on you like you’ve never met before

-“Erick please not here,” you’d beg while in line at the busy concession stand of the movie theater

-“im jus asking if u as sweet as those cookie dough bites u got right there mami mmhmmm”

Joel

-literally the cutest of them all

-not super extra, but very lovey and sweet

-you’d walk in the room all dolled up and he’d be super star struck like “oh my god dude you’re so beautiful”

-for literally any outfit too tho

-You can walk in with his sweatpants and necklace on and he’d lose it just as hard

-stares at you all day

-buys you flowers just for the heck of it

-sweet gentle touches and kisses all day too

-when he talks about you in public it’s all super down to earth and him saying how gorgeous you are doing anything

-takes you out to show you off

-somewhere where he knows a lot of press and people in general will be

-makes it super obvious you’re there together

-“don’t worry HONEY, I’ll grab the door for you BABE” and looks other homies dead in the eyes for dominance purposes

-he really would take you anywhere to show you off tbh. The dog park, museum, grocery store, you name it

-he fills his camera roll with candid pics of you through the day

-when you guys get really rowdy at the end of the night bc you’re tired, he records you the whole time dancing n singing and being a crackhead

-but its wholesome content of you guys being happy in love and having so much fun :,)

-he posts it all and everyone is like “couple goals wowo” and it makes your heart melt bc you’re with someone who makes you confident and happy and he’s everything

Richard

-literally not one second where his hand would be off of you

-ESPECIALLY in public

-hand in your back pocket, on your waist, in your hand

-also the type of guy that would be super extra and do things like hold the door for you dramatically, carry you over potholes or puddles in the street like “no te preocupes amor, i gotchu”

-a master at subtly tho

-and subtle teasing

-would mention how fine you look at the beggining of the day with a low whisper in your ear and a hot neck kiss

-then totally drop it for tension purposes

-would ignore u in person for a bit or maybe he just doesn’t see you much that day

-then would post a fire pic of you like “sheeesh🥵”

-comments under all your recent pics suddenly with thirsty shit

-all the fans are freaking out like “GET UR MAN”

-but he’s still avoiding you personally bc he knows it gets you all riled up

-so you watch him post and hype you all day until he gets home finally and wants to touch you and love you

-and you’re like “NO! No touching bc u can’t play these games Camacho”

-He smiles at you and puts on his nasally play voice while swooping in to lift you off your feet, tickling your sides and kissing you all over

-“mira que sexy ohmygaaad”

-ok but also

-he’d take his time with you when it got down to business, letting you know everything going through his mind when he kisses you, every time he removes another piece of clothing, telling you how perfect you are

-slow passionate intense nights that feel like they could last forever

Christopher

-constant screaming

-“oye mamiiiii”

-his million stories on insta are all of you with dif filters, emojis, and captions

-he’s singing or yelling in the background every one, but honestly no one can tell at this point

-besos every other second

-you’re just *taking a bite of pizza* and Chris would drop everything like “fucK pls kiss me now”

-a lot of seductive glances from a distance

-intimidates everybody in the room tbh

-will be that guy talking to anyone being like “doesn’t my baby look ultra fine today- well i mean she always fine, but today it just hits different”

-probably very sweet like Joel but in his own sappy Chris way

-will sing to you every love song that comes on in the car or while you’re standing around

-dances with you in public just to spin you around, kiss you, and tell you how good you look

-you’re always afraid to look like that one annoying pda couple but the way y’all make it look is actually rly sweet and sincere

-also does that thing and records you being a crackhead at night, but he’s actin just as wild so all the videos are so hard to follow

-they’re all of you guys SCREAMING and CACKLING SOO HARD and no one can form out anything anyone is saying bc you’re both just being idiots

-he records you dancing like a dummy in the dark corner of your room and he’s just there like “AYY AY DALE MAMI AY”

-for some reason i just see him at the end of the night wanting a long, deep makeout sesh more than anything

-bc sometimes kissing can be just as intimate and passionate when you’re with the right person, and Chris is exactly that guy

-he’d be kinda vocal and mumble every time your lips disconnect abt how much he loves you and how crazy you make him by being so god damn beautiful all the time

#need me a zabdi or a chris ngl #someone who can handle me bc im a lot #and i oop #esp during crackhead hours #tag which boy u need the most rn lol #cnco #cnco headcanon #zabdiel de jesus #erick brian colon #joel pimentel #richard camacho #christopher velez

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icharchivist · 2 years

Note

ohhhhh my god. ohhhh my god. nocturnality. i think i already jumpscared u abt it so let me dive right in. apologies for the length I may have also gotten a bit Not Normal abt this play to the point I needed a whole day to write this haha... will just go in chronological order (mostly) of how i experienced it bc i think that's the easiest way to represent my thoughts!! first off. the beginning scene where the relatives are talking abt who’s going to take in azuma made me think like ah. wow. he and sakuya… they would mesh. learning that he had an older brother rly took me out tho. that’s tough. i loved that the scene in mankai also opened with him being able to say like… welcome home to people! because it is home, this place. also love how tsumugi like. specifically says that casting tasuku as a co-lead is like… a good support. coming right off of the taichi and tasuku halloween event its so nice bc its like. i feel like a lot of tasukus roles have been abt playing that support and how like, being able to do that is something he treasures? thought it was cute that masumi dropped off the script this time like. when he was like "lol I stole the script from tsuzuru while he wasn’t looking… just kidding. he’s dead as usual so I just wanted to drop it off" i genuinely was like. omg masumi... ur cracking jokes now? good kid. as always the moment one character goes "..." abt smthing (azuma abt the "good night, and sweet dreams" line it always Makes You Think). i was wondering if he was thinking abt his own sleeplessness. or how his like. sleeping profession probably had him say things like that but it was empty. anyways i have more to say on that... around here was where i took a pause to actually. watch nocturnality the play. as you may have already gathered... I enjoyed the play. however!!! for the longest time the ONLY thing i knew abt it was the cover poster. i was convinced both kota and reo were vampires and kota was just like, keeping it secret (you know like a gay metaphor or smthing lol) but ah. that was not the case. I have surveyed my friends though and literally every single one was in agreement abt it being abt homoerotic vampires. one person suggested kota would be a werewolf but thats it.

anyways. nocturnality the play. had to rewind the part where kota was like “you’d be the ultimate wife” and reo's very normal response was “I’ve lived a pretty long life, but I don’t think I’ve ever been someone’s wife before” it rly was like. wow this is so trope-y, like, picking up a stranger from the street who cooks well and you cohabitate before realizing that you are in love etc. also i loved like. theres a lot of subtle things going on here that I feel like don't quite have the time to get expanded upon? like, the vampire hq. theyre fine in daylight. lovely details like how kota's from the countryside and probably a little lonely, how hes moved by reo saying he doesn't have anywhere to go, or the way that it seems to be implied that like the First time kota tells reo he's been having nightmares is because he sees reo covered in blood, which is like. distressing for him and he's worried. very in line with winter's non-confrontation. the subtle distinctions of kota calling reo a friend while others call him a stranger or a freeloader, the way at the end nonomiya is like oh the freeloader finally left and kota is like "he left me behind"... the way that franz says "I'm the same as him" about reo and that kota ISN'T the same as reo... the way their duet song clarifies that like, they ARE the same, though, in like. mirrors of loneliness. the way kota is dueting all those blood-drinking lines in that song still. i think the duet song (which is VERY good) does a greattt job of expanding upon a lot of what the play has to cut for time, and it rly hones in on those like. feelings. the freaking "If I hated you any more than I do, I would have long taken everything from you" line... i'm rambling. yeah i wish we could have seen more of how close kota and reo were in the middle period of him being like. unwell and having nightmares. hence my jumpscare.

back to the event story... it is at this point i have to pause and say i was actually worried about being overhyped about nocturnality. i love everyone in a3 but azuma def faded in the background a bit for me during winters 1st ep...? and I know like, he's one of your favs. i think part of it rly comes down to that like, winter estbalishes two very set dynamics with tsumugi and tasuku and homare and hisoka so azuma is kind of like. the odd one out? and hes got a room of his own, too... I feel like we didn't really get Much of him but that's also part of his character bc he's like, quite guarded. very itaru-ish vibes to me. anyways i say all this because i was like in tears by ch 4 of the event story lmao. there's a not-insignificant chance i was projecting for all of this but i really liked this event story because it wasn't necessarily... obvious? like, the main line of it was pretty clear but there's alllllll these little subtle details, half of which don't get addressed (which makes sense! its in character!) and it made me think abt azuma as a character a lot. this ask is going to be so long omg.

i was so pleasantly surprised when the texting layout popped up. love how tasuku invites him out for a drive like this time and the next time. he just goes with one thing. and i love how its bc like. he heard azuma say he liked the ocean or smthing so hes like. oh well why dont we go there all the time. when azuma asks abt how tasuku must've had a lot of choices post-leaving godza, I thought it was very interesting that he asks "did you come here for tsumugi?" and like... hm. I think its very telling. because azuma's reason, which he deflects in answering at this time, is that he's here because mankai is a place that feels like home and he loves being around the winter troupe. so i think hes instinctively looking for some justification of that feeling, but I think it's also like. i think azuma just wants that kind of thing for himself. someone going out of their way for you. like the way he keeps assuring tasuku that the play will be fine because like of course that's the concern and it's not like it's HIM that could be someone people would concern themselves with, right? ...it made me sad.

I think like, azuma's also so competent at deflecting that sort of yearning from himself, to the point that just looking at him, you wouldn't ever think he's lonely. the game describes azuma as sensual and mysterious, something which he's called often, and I think that description really hits the mark. like azuma carries this ethereal feeling because I think he deliberately acts like a person who could float and live anywhere. you'll never know a thing about him. he could be anyone, because he's not tied to anyone. but i also think he like. desperately wants to be tied down. he doesn't want to run away... he wants to be able to believe that he can capture a sense of belonging. and for sensual like i think azuma is obviously like. very beautiful etc but the i think its a very good choice that out of everyone else in a3, he's kind of the most explicitly touch-starved? what with his whole cuddling/sleeping with others occupations. like it's such a good dynamic. here's someone who is transcendental that wants, probably desperately more than anything, to be tied down by a home and held. i think he's also old enough that he's like, aware of it. this is verging on projection but like it’s really so hard because fundamentally it’s embarrassing! it’s embarrassing to want and desire so openly, to be around other people, especially when you're old enough to be so aware that people are not forever...

ah unrelated but i thought it was very interesting that homare's response to whether he liked acting was like. oh well liking is not really what i care about--it feels meaningful to me! such an in-character outlook, i felt. this was also very itaru-ish of azuma to do, I felt--feeling guilty that his reason for acting wasnt enough. i want so badly for act 2 to come along just so he gets a roommate honestly. like idk. azuma gets to go to practice every day and like see the way tasuku and tsumugi seem to know each other inside and out and see the weird marshmallow deals homare and hisoka have going on and its not that hes Alone or that winter as a whole is Not Close but i do wonder sometimes if hes like oh. i wish i had... more. but winter isn't really blunt about that kind of thing.

the scene where azuma says I’m home at his apartment but no one responds... the way it mirrors the beginning of the event. the way he explcitly was like i should visit my apartment again to get in touch with being as desperately lonely as reo is. the way he is so self-aware of his loneliness but unable to confront it... like it makes me sad. i liked how this event made a not eof how much more direct summer is in comparison lol... theyre really different! the way tasuku invites him out for a drive again and azumas like oh im not around. where i am is a secret. like what a neat way of being like... playful and not revealing anything about yourself bc vulnerability is so terrifying. but the way tasuku comes to the train station to walk with him and says welcome back to him. or the way tsumugi asks if it's difficult acting with tasuku and azuma says I'm sure he's havng a harder time acting with me. he should be frustrated with my acting. like he's too graceful to wallow but I think azuma definitely gives off this vibe of like. oh i have to be Good. i have to nice and pleasant. to make up for the fact that it's me beneath all of this. like when he sees hisoka in his room and says he doesnt have any marshmallows here but hisoka is here for HIM and gives him marshmallows. sighs and says they are a value pack. arisu is a cheapskate. azuma is continually reminded and perhaps tortured by the soft and subtle ways winter loves each other because i don't think he can see himself as Part Of It yet...

to the nicer stuff lol i love the “where are you now?” / “that’s a secret” exchange is basiacally the same as last time only this time tasuku is at his door. i adoreeee how tasukus script notes are abt what “would help azuma out the most” bc. god. thats so good. yeah. i have to bet thats why tsumugi asked azuma if it was hard--i think tasukus very concious nowadays of like, what is the best way to Match with others. oh and FINALLY when azumas like I told you I’d do a good job for the performance and tasuku says “that’s not what I was worried about” yes… yess!!!! “we may be able to pull of the play perfectly fine, but are you fine? it seems like something’s been bothering you.” yes!!!!

also the way azuma's like yes i frow my hair out in the hopes my brother will come back some day its like. AND YOU WANTED TO CUT IT??? AND YOU SAID IT SO CASUALLY??? but ah. thats really azuma. and “since reo welcomes his loneliness, I thought I’d be able to act the part better if I spent time alone again” HE DOESNT WELCOME IT THOUGH!! HE DOESNT LOVE IT!!! i am so glad they r all together now. but yea the way azuma feels like this side of him is weak and miserable even tho it is literally human. the way that even here hes like [laughs] after seeing tasuku try to reach out to me, it doesnt feel as embarrasing anymore like. the way hes still keeping it light. azumas va genuinely recorded the perfect laugh for his character. and i love that the end of this event is just them mostly resolving to be more open with each other. what this event also made me realize is wow.... winter troupe didnt know literally anything abt the tsumugi tasuku debacle OR azumas backstory until now! shows how little they dive into touchy subjects lol... i also totally wrote down sooo many of these dialogue lines bc they're. good. telling. like its so sweet. tasuku just plainly sincerely expressing how he felt, knowing tsumugi had given up on acting and how that felt like a betrayal, and how tsumugis like. well, its fine. since you said you love my acting, it's all fine.

also. “the spring troupe is like a family, the summer troupe like school friends, and the autumn troupe like comrades for the same cause. what does that make us, then?” i have seen this quoted before and thought that the "and winter troupe are married!" was just a fun joke and not the Actual Thing they say basically??? i do love the different configurations of like. relationships that go on in a3 truly. but genuinely i think marriage is actually a great way to describe winter troupe's relationship? like, they're all old enough and had enough various relationships that i feel like. for them its very much like. okay... whatever this is, I'll commit to it, and make it work, and I plan for it to last for a very very very very long time.

anyways I burst out laughing at homares horrible snoring. hisoka how do u live. everyones sleeping sounds r so in character. azuma also seeing that gorgeous lavender sky and realizing how beautiful it looks with like. the rest of the troupe there... it was so good. it makes sense he's never seen it that way, considering he was afraid of waking up to another morning alone. also how he asks tasuku "once I gather the courage to return there, could you come with me? just kidding, of course..." like!! gah. the way he can't yet visit his family's place for fear of being too lonely. the way he asks tasuku becuase he is vulnerable enough to believe in him but also the way he has to couch it in a just kidding. tasuku falling asleep before he can respond, and azuma being at a good enough place where not knowing the answer, just yet, won't terrify him. and he gets to say "good night, and sweet dreams," but unlike reo. he gets to see tasuku when the next day comes, too. he can believe a little harder that he's not an imposition.

now for a little chikage interlude pre-their actual performance. CHIKAGE IM WATCHING YOU. I BET HES WATCHING WINTER. i bet hes whoever sent that "im watching you" message to them!!! i have cottoned on!!! he's been overseas for a long time, he can recognize azuma on sight... i'm still placing my bets on assassin but spy, the more realistic option, is also working. "I’ve really taken a liking to your troupe." and you keep showing up for winter troup stuff in specific.... buying FLOWERS... no clue why they were zinnias bc i dont think thats hisokas or chikages flower but. im 100% sure he knows hisoka. bet pre amnesiac hisoka was like a co-assassin!! and to transition back to the play performance, izumi is like "I’ve always thought this, but he’s really good at acting" abt hisoka and there is me, banging pots and pans together: ITS BECAUSE!!! HES AN ASSASSIN!!!! (more realistically a spy)

nocturnality such a good play tho. the delicate relationship of not daring to overstep despite building smthing so fundamentally important to both of you. the way reo is so like. i cannot demand anything from kota but has been drinking his blood every night… also azuma being like "tasuku said he likes my hair long :) " yes. but oh my godddd the "...that idiot" adlib TASUKU WHAT A DESTRUCTIVE ADLIB!!! when i first watched the play i was so moved by kota's desperation to stay with reo and when i saw that the ending just had reo gone and kota breaking down from emotion it was... moving, sure, but I wanted kota to retain that desperation. and i feel like this adlib rly brought some determination to the character. the way only someone you are deeply intimte with is someone you can so heart-wrenchingly call an idiot. the way it's an acknowledgment of how kota knows reo is lonely. that it's not just him. the play poster has that one line... "we're the same, you and i. this is our true nature" which is why me and my friends all assumed it would be abt TWO vampires. but it's not, and I think what that phrase means is like. human, vampire, whatever. these are two lonely people who want to love each other. thats what they are mirrors of. each other. they must be the same being in the end. and that's why even though kota has to let this other random vampire save and heal reo he is not going to let him go. or something. how wonderful.

now that I've gone through all the event plays I am gonna have to say that a clockwork heart is my favorite, just for how it mirrors the play and the real events, and the whole mizuno and tsuzuru dynamic is so well done. plus the fact that it gets to re-contextualize romeo and julius (when I got to the scene where mizuno is literally staring at tsuzuru on the balcony something CLICKED for me) is so good. clockwork heart and nocturnality as plays actually have lots of similarities in theming to me, in taht its about a human's bond with soemthing thats human-shaped but seen as unnatural and shouldn't exist. anyways, just a little more 'til act 2.... im excited!

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII orghhhh Nocturnality. Nocturnality….. i'm famously Very Normal about Nocturnality so i'm going to try my best to answer this but. wow. so normal. Just reading through your ask once made me crazy emotional so 😭

Under cut because it already got long enough,

You pinpointing right away that Azuma and Sakuya would mesh…. there's actually a link skill (so, like Taichi and Tasuku have about being Godza people) when you put Azuma, Sakuya, and two others people (whom reasons to be here are for act 2 so i'll keep it at that) in the same group, and it's called "Lone Wolves: I've finally found the place where I belong.". Much to think about!!!!! But yeah definitely Azuma and Sakuya have a lot in common, orphan boys who lost their loving parents and then had to basically deal with relatives not wanting them around so they both became as pleasant and unimposing as possible. Except that for any stories where Winter gets to parallel one of the younger people, it's all about how Winter had to carry this coping so deep into adulthood that now it's too hard to move away from it, while the younglings are allowed to grow while this trauma had taken root sure but not already bloomed into a full. waves at what Azuma pulls yaknow. But god the infos about Azuma's brother too it's just. orhghhh Azuma……..

But yeah so he finally found a home there and you're right on so many points down the line about his loneliness and how much he fits him but i'm trying to go through the ask in order else it'll get messy but orhghhh Nocturnality…

AND YEAH FOR TASUKU YEAH!! he's SO GOOD at Support and he's been SO HAPPY about doing support now. And yeah like, right after the event with Taichi it stands out a lot. I'll just bring back too that a bit before the Halloween event there was the Beach event where Juza was cold toward Muku because he didn't know how to address his guilt, and while it was a team effort, Tasuku especially involved himself and insisted on /supporting Juza/ into showing Muku his feelings via play.

So it's been a pattern but what i find really interesting is that he was upfront about it for both Juza and Taichi but when it came to Azuma, he didn't know how to make it clear. And it all roots back to the fact that they had a major fight in the Winter Chapter. Remember that? During the whole "someone is spying on Mankai" situation, after Azuma temporarely left the company and then came back after his mental breakdown and being told Winter accepted him. Where Azuma just pointed out, hey, maybe Tasuku is the one who leaked out secrets without really realizing it because he was talking to an old friend, and Tasuku got so angry he snapped back that since Azuma was a whore (paraphrasing) perhaps HE'S the one who leaked secrets by talking to his clients. And Azuma was REAAAALLY pissed by this whole thing and when he started to get cold to Tasuku Tasuku started to realize oh shit my anger got the better of me and now this is bad. And this whole situation wasn't really solved by them apologizing to each other, in fact it kept escalating with Azuma also threatening to leave the company again because he was "so unreliable with how much he slept around due to his old job", which freaked Tasuku out. And i think it's important there at this point in Tasuku's journey to remember he was so wounded by being left behind by Tsumugi without knowing why, and blaming himself, that when Azuma started to close in and threaten to leave, Tasuku probably took it the really wrong way. This whole situation was solved with Homare's whole arc, but so, Tasuku and Azuma didn't exactly talk this shit out. They basically made a truce without apologizing and they've been pleasant to one another up until then.

But it's clear imo that Tasuku especially wanted to make it up to Azuma, and it's likely just Azuma had his walls PARTICULIARLY high around Tasuku because he felt betrayed for the one time he considered lowering them. So, I think it's fascinating to compare Tasuku's behavior toward Juza and Taichi, kids he decides to guide no matter what, to toward Azuma, because he genuinely wants to be here for Azuma but he feels the wall Azuma is putting between the two of them, and he feels responsible for it even being here because of how badly this one incident went.

This one incident drives me bonkers because it basically sets up why their dynamic is like that during Nocturnality even more so than just Azuma closing in: it's also because they don't know how to approach each other while by all account they're the duo who, up until now, in Winter, got along the least. And it's why Tasuku is trying so hard to take notes on his script without confronting Azuma about it either, and making things easier for him. Of course, he worries and is just bad at showing it, but Tasuku is also so unsure how to confront him again without making a mess. It's similar to how he felt unable to confront Tsumugi and orrghhhhh Tasuku….

Okay back to your ask,

The Masumi's scene was sO CUTE!!! This is what i mean when i say "Masumi is a good character when they let him do things outside of his obsession with Izumi", this whole bit was aDORABLE. And the implication he's looking out for Tsuzuru is just😭

I like your interpretation on the good night and sweet dreams's line reaction. I'll also rise that i've seen "good night and sweet dreams" used a lot also as something to say to people on their last breath as they die. As in, have a good eternal slumber. I think Tsuzuru isn't so innocent in that choice of line for Reo and Kota. Because in a way it's the immortal creature of the night, an undead, who makes this wishes of all the sweetest dreams to the person he's leaving behind, playing on the words we'd use for the departed but here, reversed as the meaning from Reo is "i want you to keep on living no matter what". Which is even MORE ironical because leaving Kota just leaves Kota in grief and orghhhhh Nocturnality………….

ABOUT THE PLAY THEN…. Honestly this is so fair, and the song goes even more into this interpretation with how they both sing together the drinking blood lines. I think it's mostly because, the Poster is set after Kota learns Reo is a vampire and we know Kota immediately jumped into wanting to be there for Reo no matter what and become a vampire himself. Kota was posing like "yeah i'm a vampire too, or at least i'm trying to convince my vampire boyfriend to turn me" and that's really sexy. But i find it so fun all your friends thought the same LDKJFDLKFJ

god. ReoKota. they're so fucking good. whole fist into my mouth. Like who talks like that; Tsuzuru is that how you see the Winter Troupe. You're always right but sTILL. On all the details you mention it's just so much, but, i'll ask you to put on a pin on the vampire HQ and remember it does exist. I have nothing really to add to everything you mention about the play itself it's just. god. this play is just way too good. But yeah i would have loved to see a bit more of them too, and i'm really glad you took upon you the hard duty of showing it as well. God. these two. I'm obsessed.

and helppp the hype 😭 But i TOTALLY agree and understand where you're coming from. Azuma and Hisoka have been my loves since the first Winter Chapter, but mainly in act 1 i focused on Azuma more, so i was terrified when Nocturnality came along too that i was overhyping it. Instead i cried so hard the whole way through i had to take breaks because of headaches. But i think you're on point with how Azuma feels like the odd one out and i do think it's on purpose, like you mention later, it's the touch starved one, the one who's so desperately yearning for love and connection, who still picked to self isolate. Because he saw the two duos that were arising at the time they picked the rooms and he considered well, he's used to loneliness, he can be lonely again, it's not like he can take place in either of these duos. god. But yeah this event does such a good job at expending on Azuma and giving him the proper room to breath. And i think it's like, when you make a character who's so kind that he looks open, but is actually extremely closed in because he's terrified of this intimacy he's yearning for, it's the kind of things you can only really show via slowburn and subtle details, so it makes Azuma so easy to overlook. But it's why i kept insisting on reading the event stories. I can't imagine jumping into act 2 without all of the character work those events worked so hard to develop, and Azuma especially is getting a lot out of it.

And HHHH THE DRIVING DATES. GOD. Remember how in the first winter chapter when Tasuku asks if anyone can drive Azuma is just "i prefer to be in the passenger seat" and Tasuku just rolls his eyes because his whole troupe is useless, and now he's just, hey, stay with me on the passenger seat? And for the ocean, yeah, i think Azuma brings it up when Hisoka asks them to stop at the beach as he's having memories. Tasuku at this point acts so annoyed at everyone and is focusing on Hisoka and i'm SURE Azuma just said something without really thinking anyone was listening to him, let alone Tasuku. So that's a nice continuity thing of how much Tasuku is paying attention to the people around him. (on a sidenote, this was one of the small reasons that got me pissed at the Winter anime adaptation dLKJDFLD The anime already cut Azuma and Hisoka's arc for the most part, and on the beach scene in question, they adapted it so that Tasuku and Tsumugi stay in the car to have a little gay drama on the side to tease their conflict. me, foaming in the mouth: where is Tasuku worrying about Hisoka. Where is Tasuku picking up the details Azuma drops about himself which serves then to build on Nocturnality. What are you DOING ANIME.) Tasuku is def the friend who hears you offhandedly mention liking something and then he rolls his eyes and then the next time you meet he got it for you. God. This guy.

The convo about Tasuku leaving the God Troupe hhhh god. You're totally right about Azuma asking about Tasuku's reasons. It's just. god, Azuma…. I do genuinely think that like, he admires that Tasuku is here for Tsumugi, he admires this type of love, but he would love someone to love him like that, like you said. I think part of him wished to hear "but i'm also here because i love all of the Winter Troupe, you included" or something that shows Azuma is also a priority in other people's lives. Because despite how nice and sweet Azuma can be, how much he's been a support to anyone, he closes himself in and fades in the background so much he doesn't have strong bonds with anyone or so he thinks and god it hurts. fist in mouth Sorry if i cannot be too coherent about Azuma i'm realizing trying to type all of that that i'm still crying thinking about his arc and goddamn, the line between projecting and relating has truly blurred past comprehention to me.

But god everything you say about Azuma. yeah. yeah… yeah. I think also that, Azuma is so touch starved so he turned to cuddling, but this touch starving is such a manifestation of how he's yearning to be close and intimate with people, and he can comprehend this intimacy on a physical level, but on an emotional level he just cannot make himself vulnerable enough for that. So i think in a way it might make his touch starving even worse because it means, he's getting so close to getting it, he's extending others the intimacy he would love to receive, but he puts himself in a situation where he denies it to himself. So his needs are not fulfilled and in a way i think he probably ends up starving even more, no matter how much he cuddles up at work and stuff. But yeah no i totally 100% agree with you and it's embarassing and it's muffled screaming into hands Azuma……………. And on top of the loneliness, yeah, god. I mean, Azuma basically grew up with the idea of, people will leave your life when you least expect it, so better be ready for it to happen. Better not form close attachement else it will hurt once it's gone. And we know his relatives didn't really want to keep him around so it adds to the fact of just feeling like you cannot form any type of attachement. And he carried that into adulthood and now it's just, he convinced himself loneliness was the only thing he could get. And he could banter up with it by the touching and cuddling, but the loneliness remains.

But yeah omg the Homare bit is so good 😭 and this is the second time you're comparing Azuma and Itaru this is amazing. Let them do more things together!! But i do think you're on point with their guilt over how the reason their acting isn't good enough to them.

"i want act 2 to come along just so he gets a roommate honestly"

THIS WAS ME THE ENTIRE TIME HELPPPP. The moment Azuma said that he had panic attacks at night when he slept alone in the first Winter Chapter i was just "oh my god can the Winter rookie come already you can't leave him alone like that" and i've waited ever since, non stop, for this new chara to show up. Now my feelings for when it happens are REDACTED for spoilers reason but holy shit. Holy shit…. But yeah like Azuma stands out even more so, he's already so lonely and while Winter is a big group and stuff, it's true by act one they're mostly divided by two duos and Azuma on the side. I think Nocturnality changes that around quite a bit, as Tasuku goes out of his way to be here for Azuma and all of Winter are making their efforts to be there for him, but yeah, up until this point, Azuma had all the reasons to feel like the odd one out.

god Azuma coming back to his old flat. fist in mouth fist in mouth f- But yeah it sure works to show how much Winter is very undirect with talking about their feelings. I think it's here from the start but it can easily be seen, esp after Summer and Autumn's fights, as a lack of conflict that they're just this indirect and taking their bad emotions upon themselves. I think the Winter events, especially Nocturnality, and especially Azuma, do a good job showing how much this is just as much of a conflict and possibly just as harmful. I think Azuma is, in the end, surprisingly, the one who therefore makes the situation worse for Winter, because he does have a habit of not talking about what is wrong and, before you know, suddenly he disappeared and you don't know how to approach him without being a little blunt. So out of everyone, it's Azuma's way to just try to make as little fuss and disappear that can make everything about the Winter dynamic more difficult. so i think it's also telling that solving at least part of this issue was with Tasuku, since in a way Tasuku is much more blunt and its his outbrusts that caused Winter to have to face each other and their conflict in previous stories. Unstoppable Force VS Unmovable Object.

" I think azuma definitely gives off this vibe of like. oh i have to be Good. i have to nice and pleasant. to make up for the fact that it's me beneath all of this. "

oroghhhh yeah.. yeah!! Once again i was mentioning earlier, but let's remember that when his parents died Azuma was told clearly by his relatives that he would be a burden to them. I don't think they even made clear if he stayed with some relatives (he must have right? i mean he was just a kid) until he could get a place he could live in alone, but therefore, the comparaison with Sakuya is even more stark in that sense of: he probably had to be good and pleasant and take as little space as possible, not cause any problem, handling everything on his own so his presence isn't a burden, doesn't come noticed as much. And i genuinely feel like there's part of it in the way he behaves there as the lead, of, trying so much to disappear behind being as good and as little of a problem as possible, so perhaps he won't burden anyone by the crime of, you know, being alive and existing. God the Hisoka scene tho Hisooo 😭 he worries so much for Azuma it's so cute. Even if yeah he has to bring it up back to Homare but man. man.

YEAH MAN THAT EXCHANGE IS SO GOOD. AT THE DOOR I MEAN. gOd Tasuku coming forth showing he's both a fantastic theater support AND a good friend support. god.

The hair thing drives me insane too bc it's not even the first time he brings it up, he also mentions eventually cutting it in the backstage of his SR for My Master Mesmerized by Mystery. I think Azuma has been kind of… on a line, basically, on that topic. I feel like if he cut his hair, he would have to face right away that there is no one who could come back to him. I think he holds on to that feeling so much. And a part of him would be betraying what his brother loved just to try to move on. I think cutting his hair would be the worst thing for his mental health, and in a way, he toys with the idea of basically destroying himself because, what if it means he can more easily rebuild himself? I also think it adds to the significance of Azuma being the one to chose to have his hair short in MMMBM. Because he's playing a brother who had to kill his sibling in order to set them free. As such, i feel like, since Azuma was the one who could pick the hairstyle he wanted, this was his way to show how he'd basically give up on any foolish thought of his brother being alive, by all account, killing him in the last way possible. That perhaps it could set them both free. but MMMBM does end with the idea still that the death wasn't the solution and that Azuma's chara ruined his own life and his possibility to bond with other people. As such, i think that the idea is that this would not actually be freeing for him to do so and would instead just make things worse.

But yeah back to the scene itself and yeah god. God that whole scene is so much. I really love how the conflict is solved by all of winter coming together too. While Tasuku does the heavy lifting it's all of Winter that has to extend to Azuma that, no, he has a place with them, and they want him with them. And i love that it means they can open up to each other sobs. The Tasuku and Tsumugi scene was especially soft.

""“the spring troupe is like a family, the summer troupe like school friends, and the autumn troupe like comrades for the same cause. what does that make us, then?” i have seen this quoted before and thought that the "and winter troupe are married!" was just a fun joke and not the Actual Thing they say basically??? ""

SURPRISEEEEE "i can hear the wedding bells!" like okay??? me too??? moment that made me go from shipping duos to "actually Fuyupoly rules". I'm feeling insane. But genuinely Homare going on about how they're soulmates designed to meet each other and how Azuma and Tasuku joke about it at the end and how "yeah perhaps he's right" i'm feeling insane i'm feeling insane im- but i do agree that marriage is what fits them most, it's like, this choice they keep on making to try to make it work. In a way it faces even more how much it's a real work to go through with it. guhhhhh them. them. God i love them so much i'm ghnnnn

So funnily, i think it's one of his base Backstage but Hisoka mentions very early on that he doesn't want any gifts like, pillows or plushies or eyebands because he wants to be able to sleep anywhere in any situation whatsoever. And, like the stray cat he is, we've seen that people have Basically Been Ignoring That (if you can look at his R backstage in the Into the Night- where he basically gets his first real plush and suddenly it's all hell breaks loose) and now Hisoka is just, extremely picky about where he sleeps. In his R Nocturnality backstage you find out Hisoka is going more and more extreme in ways to find sleep. So i figure that: Hisoka would have stand with Homare's snoring at first. But probably not anymore. Not now that he sleeps with plushies and pillows and eyebands and everything. Please save him.

but orghhh the next morning and the way he asks for Tasuku to come with him but Tasuku is already asleep. In my mind rentfree everytime. And this is where Tasuku and Azuma's relationship really changed since, like i mentioned, before this event they were still distant toward one another, and now Azuma trusts Tasuku with the most vulnerable side of himself, even if he still brushes it off a bit. Like god. these two.

" and he gets to say "good night, and sweet dreams," but unlike reo. he gets to see tasuku when the next day comes, too. he can believe a little harder that he's not an imposition. "

CRYING IN THE FUCKING CLUB THANK YOU

Okay let's stop with the man that always make me cry. let's go talk about the man that always make me g- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA muffles screams with hand i'm so normal i'm so normal i'm s- god the fact Chikage's presence in this event is him seeing Azuma in the street at night and immediately realizing it's him and going at Itaru, how come a member of your troupe is out there alone? isn't he in the winter troupe? Why isn't the rest of his troupe with him? And Itaru is just huh, okay, weird you picked it up but alright, and that then Chikage asks if he can come see the next play. Like. Mhmmmmmm. MHMMMM. For the records, a3 is always very careful about the use of its flower languages and Chikage's bouquets all had a specific meaning so far. I won't share them because it's likely it'll spoil a little of his deal, but it's worth coming back to it once you get to know him. (More in the sense of the devs made sense of the bouquet, whenever Chikage knows what the flowers means or not are up to interpretation… or at least to pick up once you've read his deal). Obviously i can't say more but we're getting closer in closer to having an answer and, i, for one, am hype. But god. GODD. I'm not saying anything i'm not saying anything i'm not goes back to yell in my hands that's fine i'm good i'm good i'm,

NOCTURNALITY IS SO GOOD and it does so mcuh to parallel Azuma and Tasuku. ALSO AZUMA THAT TASUKU SAID THAT ABOUT HIS HAIR. back to what i was saying, so far he's associating keeping his hair long with staying afloat, giving himself hope his brother might come back, and cutting it would hurt him right? i think this adds a layer even more so, that, by the hair being a promise that his brother might come back, keeping his hair long is also a promise that he will not always be alone, and that he will have people who'd come back to him. and Tasuku in his silly sleepy ramblings, gave him exactly that. I think in that moment it was a healthier way to move forward how Azuma felt about his hair than to cut it to try to move on: this way, indeed, hair is home, in the sense that someone cares about him enough that he cares about what Azuma would do with his hair. Fucking insane event i swear to god. THE "… THAT IDIOT" ADDLIB, TASUKU YOU KING. You're totally right i think this addlib changes everything and i'll have something very important to say about it a bit later, so, let's see you in a bit. and yess yo'ure totally correct about the thematic of the play and how they mirror each other and hjjjdgfhkdghf ReoKota my beloved. I can"t deal with it.

Okay so here, i have TWO things i need you to watch on top of everything. In case you didn't know so far, the SSR Backstage for the Lead Actor of the Play serves as an Epilogue to the play. It depends exactly play by play how it goes: the ones i'm familiar with for act 1 are only the summer ones and Nocturnality, but for instance, Sardine Search involves Kuro and Shiro accidentally finding themselves in the Mankai backyard and meeting Yuki and Kazunari. Sky's Pirate is the whole of summer talking together about what they would wish the sequel to Sky's Pirate would be, all of them adding a bit of their own flair to it.

Nocturnality's. is. SO important. You need to watch it. this is a threat. Here's the link. it's SO important you need to come back to me when you read it.

Also on another side i really want you to read Tasuku's N for this event because it's genuinely so funny. I love him so much. IT's one of my favorite backstage ever

Okay now back to the ask. Clockwork Heart is a fantastic play and event, i totally feel you there. It's one of my fav of this brunch too because it works so well at recontextualizing Tsuzuru and also Citron, and Mizuno is such a good chara to add to this whole bit. Nocturnality remains my personal fav because i'm soooooooooooo normal, but god.

Tbh like, i keep on insisting people read the events before jumping to act 2, and more often than not i've met a bit of…. resistance? kinda? because the events start out a bit slow. And it was for a reason too, since it was to let some times for the new players to catch up on the main story before dumping all sort of heavy things at them. But therefore i'd say that, while they're very good, i think it's possible to not find the first 3 events that captivating: like they explore the chara, sure, but it's not comparable to the feelings of the main story. Once you reach The Stranger though i think the events don't pull any punches anymore and all of them add so much to the way you read those chara. And frankly the whole bunch of the 3rd plays are so important imo, they give so much insight on everything i can't imagine skipping them. But i generally don't manage to argue that with people who tends to get bored after the first two events and jump to Act 2 and then they get confused while i'm just. no. come back.

So i'm genuinely glad you enjoyed the events and how much there is into them. they're so so good. And it's true that the thematic are similar in a sense, and i think it's a bit on purpose but i can't really adventure myself too much in details.

BUT YEAH. thank you for sharing your thoughts as always and thank you so much for making me relive this heartshattering experience. It was a blast <333

Take care and see you around :3c

#long post for ts #hands in the water. Nocturnality.................#thank you so much as usual for your messages #and thank you for reminding me just how much this event ruined me #ichareply #aranarumei #ichafantalks a3 #bro you wrote 3.1k words and i wrote 4.8k words we're so normal about Nocturnality in the chat today

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surejo · 5 years

Text

( victoria pedretti, cis woman ) hey ! have you seen JOSEPHINE “JO” CORMAC around ? SHE works at the HOT COCOA STAND at big bear resort, but they must be off their shift by now. well, if you do see them can you let me know ? they’re 24 years old & they’ve been working here for TWO YEARS. they tend to be +OPTIMISTIC & +EMPATHETIC, but can also be -IMPRACTICAL & -PASSIVE. the other employees have labeled them THE IDEALIST. thanks a lot ! ( the few nights the stars can be seen, books worn down by dog-ears and marks left throughout the years, the first crisp breeze of autumn, the duality… of t.s. eliot )

OK. a few notes before i get started:

1) i hope everyone loves how i literally j copied my ivan stuff. url format? ‘sure jan’ lives on. theme? too lazy to find a different one that’s easy to work with. luv that for me. 2) speaking of this theme i forget if i addressed this on ivan’s blog but tabbed bullets don’t appear tabbed.... so if anything seems like it doesn’t make total sense.... it is supposed to be tabbed™. 3) get ready for drama!!!!! you may ask yourself “but the app looks so tame! there will be no drama!” but you are wrong........ because she loves cats. the t.s. eliot book......... the musical........ even the movie.

ok jo,, is also a resurrected character,,, hence how i already kno,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, that she loves cats. anyway ! let’s begin ! (listen,,,, the intro format will at least be a little different from ivan’s ok im evolving)

QUICK FACTS:

full name: josephine “jo” rose cormac

date of birth: march 6, 1995

*does not perfectly reflect the below big three zodiac chart because that’s too much math

zodiac big three: pisces sun, gemini moon, cancer rising

gender & pronouns: cis woman & she/her

sexual orientation: bisexual ( preference for women bc we luv that for her but we also luv leaving things open to chemistry )

education: bachelor in english - literature that she is doing nothing with

enneagram: 2w1

mbti: infp

various inspirations: eleanor crain ( the haunting of hill house ), dolores price *as a child and towards the end of the book ( she’s come undone ), fox 8 ( fox 8: a story ), “why try to change me now?” - fiona apple (cover), “be still” - the killers

BACKGROUND INFO:

triggers: verbal/mental/emotional abuse/gaslighting, very slight implication of spousal abuse, brief mention of car accident/death & drowning

( ivan and jo’s breakout pop-punk single: “fuck happy backstories!” stream it on spotify ! )

jo......... was born into the wrong family, let’s get that out of the way.

it was pretty clear she was a ploy to save the marriage of her parents ( who have names: lucy and benjamin, luv that for them ). it didn’t seem like they’d ever picked up a parenting book, gone to a parenting class, rly prepped for being a parent at all...... in their entire lives.

that being said, her mom was actually decent at parenting. her major flaw, though? ok, so you know how kids usually have that one bedtime story that they love and want it to be read to them over and over? well lucy complied ! but y’all wanna know what that book was ?

t.s. eliot’s “old possum’s book of practical cats” whfeiuldjkn

anyway ! when jo was seven, after many failed attempts and simple threats, her mom was finally divorcing benjamin for realz. due to his volatile nature, it was becoming very clear that she was the more fit parent and she almost got sole custody ( the only reason benjamin was motivated for it in the first place was the power so?? )! how exciting!

but the keyword is ‘almost’!

alexa, play ‘my heart will go on’ but the off-tune flute version

just as the proceedings were going through, jo’s mother was hit by a drunk driver on new year’s eve. the car skidded onto some ice, minimal damage done... then the ice broke.

jo and benjamin both devolved after that. jo withdrew more into herself and pretty much coped by..... just reading old possum’s a LOT (hate that for her). all mopey, benjamin became much less outwardly violent. the keyword is ‘outwardly.’

ya, instead of j bein like “i will just chill” he was like “i will just make my rage more subtle because in this house, we love intimidation, manipulation, hostility, the blame game, and gaslighting! uwu” managed to convince jo that her mother’s death was somehow her fault, that he was the only person she could trust, that she will never be able to live without someone else, etc., etc.

a few years in and a cycle of many impromptu sleepovers began. luv that for her. hate that for her, but luv that for her.

there is a lot i cld talk abt here, but it all seems like it cld j be tl;dr’d as: “basically became the surrogate daughter of a bunch of other people”

as for things that r not tragique™, jo was v much a drifter when it came to friends. managed to make a fair amount bc she does not seem like she will put a tadpole in ur hand like ivan. also j a people-pleaser but that’s starting to get into her personality which is another section.

did go to college. luv that for her. has NO CLUE what she’s going to do with her degree, but she can make some really sick niche william faulkner jokes.

began seasonally working at big bear during the winter break of her last year in college because bitch needed some money!! wound up loving it and was like “i think,,,, i will continue to do this,,,, the people here,,,, r cul,,,,”

still visits benjamin every once in a while. not a way to say that uwu you should forgive ur abusive parent(s) uwu rather that jo.... still has slight belief in him. just to end on something emo.

THE REST IS HISTORY!!!!

TL;DR:

started life out as a saddie, not a baddie. still not a baddie, but no longer as much of a saddie. loves “cats” and there is no irony to that statement. can make good niche literary jokes, but that’s about it.

PERSONALITY/MISCELLANEOUS INFO:

a child. a literal child. a child to the point that she should have supervision when she goes on grocery trips because she falls for marketing ploys so easily. can’t believe she hasn’t fallen into a pyramid scheme yet.

an absolute dumbass. again, can make some great niche william faulkner jokes, but ask her the order of the planets? “...well mars is somewhere in there.”

unironically LOVES cats - both the musical and movie. thinks jennifer hudson’s grizabella is the best. will start sharing random facts about it or old possum’s book of practical cats if she runs out of things to talk about but feels pressured to keep talking. was broken when she first read a different t.s. eliot poem and realized he was actually super dark. the only thing that got her through it was a comparison to batman :\ bruce wayne is old possum’s, batman is everything else.

to take a brief break from fun personality facts, v down on herself bc benjamin’s words rly!! stuck with her!! convinced she is an absolute idiot and does not trust her own memory. v indecisive bc of this and always longs for someone to help her figure things out. tries to distance herself from memories of her mother because, again, benjamin got to her. her love of cats doesn’t help that, but... can you believe that’s her coping mechanism? makes up for it by giving all of her love 2 everyone else!! we love tragedy!! and needing to go to therapy!!

secretly knows her love of cats is weird and dumb. a part of her knows why it’s considered one of the worst musicals ever. but LISTEN. we luv rly weird coping mechanisms!

big dreamer. will develop the most impractical goals. she usually knows they are impractical, but still..... uwu

has decided everyone is good until proven bad! except for,,,, like,,, murderers and rapists,,,,

is #StraightEdge for the most part,,,, literally has a drink maybe three times per year

says “like” a whole lot for someone who majored in english with a concentration in literature and should therefore be more eloquent.

i am not great at these sections!! feel free 2 j refer to her zodiac, personality tests, and character influences!!

literally fox 8. i put the others there bc she’s similar but wow,,,, if u read fox 8 (it’s a short story i recommend it i luv george saunders u can find a pdf online),,,, she is fox 8.

here u go here is a sample that doesnt need context: "Fox 4 woslike: No ofense, Fox 8? Your ideas are not super praktikal. Dreem, dreem, dreem, said Fox 11. Fox 41 woslike: Fox 8, does this honestly never get old for you?"

OH ALSO. she has a slet. a cat,,,,, named asparagus,,,, whom she calls “gus”,,,,, and y’all know WHY.

recent development: has downloaded tor so she can get on the dark web. why? because she thinks there will be more funny animal videos on there. is shockingly good at navigating it.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

close friends bc we luv that –– roman (nuanced), aylie (nuanced), hazel (nuanced), cleo (nuanced), vic (nuanced), marco (nuanced)

childhood friends whom she possibly had impromptu sleepovers with bc that is v soft and,,,,, y’all i left the city blank for a reason. –– hazel, marco,

on that note, the person who was like “wait,,,,,,, u know that book was turned into a musical right,,,,,, like,,,,, a musical literally everyone knows” and shook jo’s world

good influence / bad influence –– cleo, vic,

~*confidant*~

roommate

exes –– ian,

reciprocated pining

unreciprocated pining

someone..... who has accepted..... that she likes cats.... in a way that is not ironic. will see the movie with her. –– aylie,

an enemy,,,,,, aka this person was like “cats is literally the worst thing in the entire world” and now they r on jo’s very short hit list –– riley

idk!!! im also obvs up for brainstorming!!! luv that!!!

** descriptive connections page is here ( only people who i’m messaging are on it, but i ?? would love to plot w everyone ?? so don’t make the short list make u think i’m trying 2 limit it 2 these ppl auhfoeidla )

LIKE THIS OR HMU TO PLOT !

#bigbearintro #y'all my intro style evolved!#there's a tl;dr beneath the bg info bc i!! rambled!!#i feel like i went back and forth b/t proper grammar/punctuation and.... not.... caring.#also i am. dumb 2night. it j took me a hot while to figure out how to spell punctuation and it still doesnt look right the english language #is so weird????#we post this before we have many followers we die like men.

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