#he trapped her in the net forever

[ohmerricat]

THOMAS :((((((((((((((( I AM IN PIECES PARTS OF ME ARE ECHOES I WAS LOST WHEN I FIRST CAME HERE SOME OF ME WILL ALWAYS BE LOST

[cinnamonest]

Female-Targeted Doujin Masterlist

Thank you anon! Sooooo, I have decided to compile a female-targeted/yumejoshi masterlist, I'll add this post to my main masterlist soon.

These were the one I could think of from memory, I’ll come back to this list and add to it if I get more, I'm sure I missed a few from my bookmarks. Feel free to add to it in the comments, and I'll try to find and update it! Also, several of these were recommended from anons in the past, so thank you all <3

FYI several links lead to nh*ntai dot net, so be aware of that.

Umekoppe

As per the post anon is referencing, Umekoppe is a doujin group that consistently puts out exclusively good content!

“The Yandere Prince Won't Let Me Slip Away”

(Part One)

(Part Two)

Premise: Isekai/pseudo-reincarnation trope, premise basically explained by the title, MC is isekai'd as prince's lost lover.

"The Sacrificial Maiden Corrupted by Coupling With an Oni"

(Link)

Premise: Historical Japan setting, the "MC is an offering sacrifice to the Creature, but the Creature chooses to keep her instead" trope.

"Until the Trashiest Boy Toy Exorcist Ren-kun Crushes Me in His Embrace"

(Part One)

(Part Two)

Premise: MC is a girl that attracts malevolent spirits, exorcist-kun is obligated to help her ward them off (with orgasms, naturally).

"The Spy Who Ravished Me ~Reborn As a Mafia Princess in a Deadly Game~"

(Link)

Premise: Isekai, MC reincarnated into a game where she knows who the guy who is most likely to kill her is, but in her attempt to avoid getting killed by him, ends up taking actions that make him grow into an obsessive love-hate instead. Top tier, this boy is probably the worst (in a good way) of how all the Umekoppe love interests treat the girl.

"Heibon Onna wa Downer Kami-sama ni Izon sarete Modorenai" (this one didn't have a translated title, sorry)

(Link)

Premise: MC discovers her friend is a shrine god and wolf-boy. Wolfboy fun times ensue (and in the end she's apparently unknowingly trapped into being with him forever, so that's nice).

You’re Cutest When You’re Pathetic ~Obsessed Golden Retriever Boy Haru’s Disciplinary Sex~

(Part One)

(Part Two)

Premise: Softboy™ neighbor finds MC's phone with lewd stuff on it, gets her confessions in drunk conversations, turns out to not be so much of a Softboy behind closed doors.

Oniben Katze

Another group that also does a lot of fem-targeted stuff.

Serious Sex with my Brutish Boyfriend

(Link)

Premise: MC's lover gets mad over rumors that she's a slut, decides to get possessive and rough over it.

Dog Eat Dog Era

(Part One)

(Part Two/Extras)

Premise: a personal favorite, an isekai'd witch adopts two dragon boys who grow up to have a strong fixation with her and noncon ensues.

Parasite Garden

Makes notably darker stuff that contains more controversial subject matter/themes, so be warned.

The Corpse of a Goldfish is at the Bottom of the Swamp

(Link)

CW: INCEST

Premise: possessive brother wants to corrupt/mindbreak sister to keep her forever (spoiler: he succeeds)

The Neighbor in Room 203 Disappeared Leaving their Keys Behind

(Link)

Premise: stalker girl meets her match, as it turns out the boy neighbor she's stalking pulls a spiderman pointing meme and has actually been her stalker for even longer and to a much greater, darker, and more more extreme extent, and is intent on not letting her go.

My Sweet Bunny Cage

(Part One)

(Part Two)

Premise: tiny girl is kidnapped by a crazed guy convinced she is the reincarnation of his lost pet rabbit.

Other

(artist listed below titles)

If you wish, hypnosis ~Maki-san's secret love therapy~

(Link)

Artist: Meeo

Premise: pretty straightforward, after she doesn't believe it's real, MC's coworker uses hypnosis on her for Certain Specific Purposes.

Sakaki the Lazybones Shows His Talents at Night

(Link) (Contains all chapters' links on the page, you might have to scroll down on the chapter list to see chapter one on some phones)

Artist: Potsunen Jin

Premise: (Another personal favorite) MC's younger coworker, peak innocent idolizing softboy, is in love with her and takes advantage of a situation while she's drunk after watching porn to "learn what girls like." Clingy, possessive relationship ensues.

Lady K and the Sick Man

(Chapter One) (site's menu is a bit awkward to deal with, but you have to click in the corner to view the menu to go to other chapters).

Artist: Rororogi Mogera

Yet another personal favorite, this one does have slight male gaze to it in that it focuses on the girl quite a bit, but it still focuses on the guy way more than the average doujin. Also the guy is an older bigger guy, if you ever tire of the twink/twunk standard in yumejoshi stuff.

Premise: guy moves into an apartment with a ghost lady and just kinda accepts it because he can't afford to live anywhere else, but quickly decides he’s down bad for ghussy.

I Became the True Love Object of Mr. Segawa, Who Has a Huge Attitude and Body

(Link)

Artist: Haruo Haruyama

Premise: very straightforward office coworkers to lovers, coworker is a big guy who turns out to be kinda sadistic, which is good for the masochistic MC.

The Man Who Saved Me on my Isekai Trip was a Killer

(Part One)

(Part Two)

(Part Three)

Artist: Ahan Horihori

Premise: this one got kind of infamous and shock-valued the mainstream crowd due to an animated advertisement I believe, it's essentially self-explanatory from the title: isekai'd lady gets saved by a guy who turns out to be a violent murderer, dark and sometimes pseudo-incesty plot twists ensue.

[writeriguess]

this is a prompt I’ve had on my mind for a long time now and I wonder how people would write it

it’s wear Y/N is a mermaid who was captured by Reginald and being held captive in a secret pond in the mansion. where Y/N is from the Hargreeves are considered Gods/Deities and Allison is the first to find her and Y/N calls Allison "princess" upon meeting her. The Hargreeves get Y/N out of the pond where they learn mermaids can grow legs on dry land and Y/N ends up falling in love with Five and they have a baby in the future

You open your eyes to darkness, as you always do. The water is cool against your skin, the liquid murkiness around you a familiar shroud. The pond you're trapped in isn't large, but it's deep, its cavernous walls rough and unyielding, holding you in their grasp. You've tried to escape countless times, swimming in circles, clawing at the edges, but there is no way out. The pond’s boundaries are imbued with an energy that saps your strength whenever you draw near, a barrier that keeps you tethered here, in this mansion.

A prison, not of stone or metal, but of water.

Your mind wanders back to the day you were taken, the day your world changed forever. You remember the rough hands, the nets that tangled in your tail, the cold, calculating eyes of the man who brought you here. He called himself Reginald Hargreeves, a name whispered in fear by your people. To the merfolk, he was a figure of legend, a creature from the land who could bind the sea, a man who sought the unknown and bent it to his will. And now, you are his captive, a living artifact locked away beneath his grand mansion.

Time passes differently here. You can't tell how long you've been in the pond—days, months, years? They blur together in the unchanging darkness. You have only your memories for company, and the faint hope that one day, somehow, you’ll be free.

And then, one day, something changes.

You’re resting on the smooth, sandy bottom of the pond when you hear it—a sound that isn’t the usual creak of the mansion settling or the distant hum of life above. No, this is different. It’s a voice, soft and lilting, filtering down through the water. Curious, you push off the bottom and swim upward, peeking out from beneath the water’s surface.

Through the ripples, you see her—a woman standing by the edge of the pond. She’s beautiful, with warm brown skin and a mane of dark curls that frame her face. Her eyes are wide with wonder as she gazes down into the water, and you can sense the power radiating from her, a power unlike any you’ve felt before. She must be one of them, you think. One of the beings your people revere as gods.

You float just below the surface, watching her. She’s talking to herself, or maybe to you, though she doesn’t know you’re listening. Her voice is gentle, full of compassion, and you feel an inexplicable pull toward her. You’ve never seen one of the Hargreeves up close before, never imagined them as anything other than the legends whispered among your people. Yet here she is, not a distant deity but a living, breathing person.

You can’t help yourself. You break the surface, the water parting around you as you rise, your eyes locking with hers. Her gasp of surprise is the first real sound you’ve heard in ages, and it sends a thrill through you.

“Princess,” you murmur, your voice hoarse from disuse but still carrying the reverence you feel. She stares at you, her mouth open in shock, and you realize she wasn’t expecting to find someone like you here. You aren’t sure what she was expecting, but it clearly wasn’t a mermaid.

“I… I’m Allison,” she says, her voice trembling slightly, though she quickly composes herself. “Who are you?”

“Y/N,” you reply, tilting your head slightly. “You are one of the gods.”

Allison frowns, a line appearing between her brows. “No, I’m… I’m not a god. I’m just… part of the Umbrella Academy.”

But to you, that means little. In your world, the Hargreeves family is more than just human—they’re divine, beings of unimaginable power and grace. You’ve seen glimpses of them through the water, their lives full of turmoil and triumph, but never have you imagined that one of them would find you, speak to you.

“Please, Princess,” you say again, the title slipping from your lips with ease. “Help me.”

Allison’s frown deepens as she kneels by the water’s edge, reaching out as if to touch you, but she hesitates, her hand hovering just above the surface. “How long have you been here?” she asks softly.

“I don’t know,” you admit, glancing away. “A long time. Since your father… brought me here.”

She looks horrified, and you can see the wheels turning in her mind, the realization of what’s been done to you settling in. “He did this to you?”

You nod, a sadness settling over you. “He captured me. I am bound to this pond, unable to leave.”

Allison pulls back, standing up abruptly, her face a mask of determination. “I’m getting you out of here,” she declares, turning on her heel and striding away.

For the first time in as long as you can remember, you feel a flicker of hope.

Allison returns quickly, and she’s not alone. With her are her siblings—each of them as extraordinary as she is, each one a legend in their own right. They gather around the pond, their expressions a mixture of curiosity, concern, and, in one case, amusement.

“What have we here?” a man with tousled hair and a mischievous grin drawls, leaning forward to get a better look at you. He smells faintly of alcohol, and there’s a strange, otherworldly air about him.

“Klaus,” Allison admonishes, but there’s no real bite to her tone. She turns back to you, her eyes softening. “This is Y/N. We need to help her.”

Another man steps forward, his gaze sharp and calculating, as if he’s already considering a hundred different possibilities. His hair is dark, and there’s a weariness to him that belies his youth. He doesn’t speak immediately, but you can feel the weight of his stare, the way he assesses you.

You know, instinctively, that this is Five, the one who is both feared and revered among your people. The one who walks through time as easily as others walk through the sea. When his eyes meet yours, there’s a spark of something that passes between you—something that makes your heart beat faster, though you don’t quite understand why.

“What are we dealing with here?” he finally asks, his voice as sharp as his gaze.

“She’s a mermaid,” Allison explains, her hand gesturing to the pond. “Father… he trapped her here.”

There’s a murmur of shock among them, but Five’s expression doesn’t change. “And you want us to free her.”

“Yes,” Allison says firmly. “She’s been here for who knows how long. She deserves to be free.”

Five considers this for a moment before nodding. “Alright. But it won’t be easy. Father would have placed some serious protections around this place.”

“I can handle it,” another sibling—a tall, muscular man with a commanding presence—says confidently. He steps forward, cracking his knuckles. You recognize him as Luther, the one your people speak of as a warrior.

But Allison stops him with a hand on his arm. “We need to be careful. We don’t know what will happen if we just… break the barrier.”

Five’s eyes narrow in concentration, and he raises a hand, his fingers tracing the air as if he’s feeling for something invisible. “There’s a spell,” he mutters. “A strong one. But I think… I think I can disrupt it.”

The others watch as he focuses, his brow furrowing in concentration. You feel a tingling in the water around you, a shift in the energy that’s kept you trapped for so long. For a moment, nothing happens, and then, with a sudden jolt, the barrier shatters, sending ripples through the pond.

You gasp, the sensation of freedom flooding through you. Tentatively, you swim to the edge, pulling yourself up onto the stone ledge. As soon as your body leaves the water, something strange happens. Your tail, once sleek and powerful, begins to change, splitting into two, forming legs. You cry out in surprise, the sensation overwhelming, but Allison is there, catching you as you tumble forward.

“It’s okay,” she murmurs soothingly, helping you steady yourself. “You’re alright.”

You look down at your new legs, still damp and shimmering faintly with scales that fade as you dry. The transformation is complete, and you’re left feeling unsteady, vulnerable. But Allison’s presence is comforting, and when she smiles at you, you can’t help but smile back.

“Can you walk?” she asks gently.

“I… I think so,” you stammer, taking an experimental step. It’s strange, this new way of moving, but you find your balance quickly enough. The others watch you with a mixture of awe and curiosity, but it’s Five’s gaze you feel the most keenly. He’s still watching you, his expression unreadable.

“Welcome to dry land,” Klaus says with a flourish, bowing dramatically. “And what an entrance!”

You manage a small laugh, feeling more at ease despite the situation. But there’s a question burning in your mind, one you can’t keep to yourself any longer.

“What will happen to me now?”

Allison exchanges a glance with her siblings before answering. “You’re free now, Y/N. You can do whatever you want. We’ll help you adjust, if you want to stay here… or we can help you return to the sea.”

The thought of returning to the sea is tempting—after all, it’s your home, the place where you belong. But there’s something about this place, about these people, that makes you hesitate. And then there’s Five. The way he looks at you, the way he seems to understand you without words… it makes you want to stay, at least for a little while longer.

“I’d like to stay,” you say softly, your eyes meeting his. “If that’s alright.”

Five gives a curt nod, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Then stay.”

In the days that follow, the Hargreeves help you adjust to your new life on land. They show you how to walk, how to dress, how to navigate the strange world of humans. It’s a learning curve, but you’re quick to adapt, and they’re patient with you, especially Allison and Five. Allison becomes a close friend, always there to guide you, while Five… well, Five is something else entirely.

You find yourself drawn to him in a way you’ve never felt before. There’s something about him that calls to you, something deep and unspoken. He’s different from the others, more guarded, more intense, but you sense a kindred spirit in him, someone who understands what it’s like to be out of place, to be lost in a world that isn’t quite yours.

He’s often busy, caught up in his own work and responsibilities, but when he’s around, you gravitate toward him, seeking out his company. At first, your interactions are brief, moments stolen in passing, but they gradually become longer, more frequent. You find yourself opening up to him, telling him about your life before, about the sea, about your people. And in return, he shares his own stories—of time travel, of loss, of battles fought and won.

The more you learn about him, the more your feelings for him grow. It’s not just admiration anymore; it’s something deeper, something you can’t quite name. You find yourself looking forward to seeing him, to hearing his voice, to feeling his presence beside you.

And he seems to feel the same way.

One evening, as the sun sets and the mansion is bathed in a warm, golden light, you find yourself alone with him in the garden. The others have retired for the night, leaving the two of you in a comfortable silence. You’re sitting side by side on a stone bench, the air filled with the scent of blooming flowers and the distant sound of water from a nearby fountain.

“I never thought I’d meet someone like you,” Five says suddenly, breaking the silence. His voice is low, almost hesitant, as if he’s unsure of the words.

You turn to look at him, surprised. “Like me?”

“Yeah,” he says, his eyes meeting yours. “Someone who… who understands what it’s like to be out of place. To be searching for something you can’t quite define.”

Your heart skips a beat at his words. “I feel the same way,” you admit quietly. “I’ve been searching for so long… and I think I’ve found it now.”

He reaches out, his hand brushing against yours, and the contact sends a jolt of electricity through you. It’s a small gesture, but it feels like the most important thing in the world.

“You’ve found it,” he echoes softly, his voice carrying a weight of unspoken emotion. “And so have I.”

The space between you seems to shrink, and before you know it, you’re leaning toward each other, your breaths mingling in the cool night air. His lips find yours in a gentle, tentative kiss, and it’s like everything falls into place. The world around you fades, leaving only the two of you, connected in a way that feels as natural as breathing.

When you finally pull away, you see a rare, genuine smile on his face, one that makes your heart soar. You smile back, feeling lighter than you have in years, as if a weight you didn’t even know you were carrying has been lifted.

In that moment, you know you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

The days turn into weeks, and then months, and your life with the Hargreeves becomes the new normal. You’re part of their family now, and they accept you as one of their own. You’re no longer a captive, no longer a prisoner of Reginald’s schemes. You’re free, and you’re loved, and that’s more than you ever could have hoped for.

Five becomes your anchor in this new world, your constant companion, your partner. The bond between you grows stronger with each passing day, and before long, it’s impossible to imagine your life without him. He’s everything you never knew you needed, and you’re everything he never thought he’d find.

It’s not long before your relationship deepens in ways you never expected. The love between you blossoms, and one day, not too long after, you find out that you’re expecting a child. The news comes as a shock, but it’s a joyous one, and Five is there with you every step of the way.

The family is ecstatic at the news, and they rally around you, supporting you in every way they can. It’s a time of great change, but it’s also one of the happiest times of your life. You’re no longer alone; you have a family, a partner, and soon, you’ll have a child of your own.

As you sit in the garden one evening, the same garden where you and Five shared your first kiss, you place a hand on your growing belly and smile. Five is beside you, his hand covering yours, and you feel a sense of peace that you’ve never known before.

“I never thought I’d have this,” you say softly, your voice full of wonder.

“Neither did I,” Five replies, his voice equally soft. “But I’m glad we do.”

You lean against him, feeling the warmth of his body against yours, and you know that whatever the future holds, you’ll face it together.

And that, more than anything, is enough.

[telephonedear]

vi and jinx’s relationship will forever haunt me.

vi shouldn’t have yelled at powder like that, she shouldn’t have called her a horrid nickname, shouldn’t have taunted an insecurity, shouldn’t have placed the blame on her sisters shoulders. but she was a kid. a child, a teenager. one who had just lost her brothers, just lost her father, and the only person left to blame was her sister. her beloved little sister, and also the reason for their deaths. she must have been terrified, because it was up to her now. she was the one who had to step up, to care for powder and ekko, to replace vander. she no longer had a safety net. her entire world shattered the moment she realized it was powder. powder who killed them, who cost us the world.

jinx- powder. she should have stayed home that day. she should have understood that she was young and reckless and a possible liability in such a situation. but she just wanted to help. she had felt useless for so long, been disregarded for so long. this was her chance to prove herself. finally, finally. she could save them all. she should have listened to vi, should have been smart like ekko and taken a step back. she was a little girl who had been tossed aside countless times, and wanted nothing more than to help save vander because he was her father, too. her family, too. she was just a child. she didn’t deserve that blame. her entire world shattered the moment vi called her that. a jinx.

vi had to rot in that horrid prison, knowing what she had done. living with that regret, that knowledge that she may have ruined her sisters life with a hit and a shout. she saw silco approach powder, and she thought that he, what? kidnapped her, tortured her, killed her? she must have been terrified, soaked in guilt, because she was so close to saving her little sister. if only she had held herself back, buried her ever present anger. if only she had fought a little harder, to escape marcus and to understand powder.

jinx had to live with the knowledge that it was, in some horrid, horrid way, her fault. she killed them, and there was no undoing it. really, we can’t blame her. she was a little girl, the bomb wasn’t supposed to do that, it was a horrific accident. but she still did it. still chose to help and set off the bomb. she had to live with the horrific guilt of that night, knowing she killed her father and brothers. but she also had to live with the horrible idea that her sister completely and truly abandoned her.

it’s tragic, because neither of them are in the right or the wrong. they both fell apart that night, both lost themselves that night, both got trapped in the past.

and it makes you wonder- what if powder stayed home? what if marcus didn’t capture vi and keep her away from her sister, even going as far as to throw her in prison? what if milo was a little bit kinder to powder?

they’re both wrong. they’re both right. they were both children.

[unoislazy]

A Dragon Trappers Fate (Part 1)

Eret son of Eret x GN!Reader

Summary: You’re forced to tag along on the quest to find Hiccup after he went off, determined to find Drago. While you there you happen to stumble across a certain dragon trapper. You feel… weird when you look at him. Why?

————————————————————

Dragon trappers.

Gods you hated them.

You didn’t appreciate them always cutting your rides short, forcing you to turn back to escape the shots at your dragon.

You tried to avoid them in general and you were successful for the most part. It wasn’t until Hiccup had decided to disobey his father and fly out of the dragon stable on a quest for specific dragon trappers, did you actually have to deal with them again. You didn’t want to get involved but once Stoick and the rest of your friends agreed to go after him, you figured you’d have to go with them.

You rolled your eyes, listening to Stoick grumble about how stubborn his son was,

“Like you’re any different…” You mumbled back, luckily it went unheard by the very intimidating man as you rested your head atop of your dragons. It had been at least half an hour and there was no sign of them, you were getting bored to say the least.

“Ugh, this is taking forever, can we just go back home?” You heard Ruffnut groan. You couldn’t help but agree with her as you stared at the endless lengths of billowing waves. You looked out at the horizon with a small sense of curiosity, wondering if you’d ever live to see the end of the world one day.

“Yeah, maybe we should just turn back.” Fishlegs agreed, you knew he was simply just saying that to agree with Ruffnut. For some reason he and Snotlout were competing for Ruff’s love. To be honest you were secretly rooting for Fishlegs.

When Snotlout wasn’t busy fighting for Ruffnuts attention, he was trying to fight for yours, which like almost every other person on Berk you were not interested in the slightest.

You could tell he was looking over to you trying to gauge your reaction to all of this but your face remained unchanged. Sure you were worried about the well-being of your friends but you were also incredibly bored so…

“I think I should just take the lead and find them.” Snotlout butted in, flying next to you as he puffed out his chest.

“Of course I’m the most qualified for the job with my-“ He continued only for him to be silenced by a quick gesture from Stoick.

“There.” He said sternly, pointing to a boat just a bit of a ways away from you all. Thank the gods, you thought this search would never end.

“I got this.” Snotlout said in a very pompous manner, clearly trying to show off. You simply rolled your eyes in return as he dove down to fetch Hiccup. Sure it seemed effortless but with the way Snotlout and his dragon were, that was not a common effect they’d seem to have.

As you all flew around, the trappers below continued to shoot nets, trying their best to take you down. You successfully dodged them before coming up to Ruff and Tuff. You noticed Ruffnut was clearly occupied by something, once you followed her gaze you saw who she was looking at.

And you could not blame her one bit.

The man she was staring at was quite handsome and well built… for a dragon trapper that is. He has some markings on his chin and his hair was pulled back into a low ponytail. He was attractive to say the least. You were distracted for only a second before noticing a net heading straight for the three of you,

“Ruffnut look out!” You shouted, expecting her to move out of the way but she opened up like she was going to welcome it with open arms. You watched as she just… let herself get trapped.

Luckily it didn’t affect the quality of their flying since the dragon's wings were overall unaffected. You flew over to Tuffnuts side as he watched his sister's reactions with disgust.

“She’s got it bad.” You teased which caused Tuffnut to turn you with a scowl,

“That’s disgusting. Usually I like disgusting things, but not that.” He remarked. You laughed before noticing that Hiccup had gotten loose from Hookfangs grip and had flown back down to the ship.

You rolled your eyes yet again. Man this guy just does not give up.

You managed to land just before Hiccup did and looked over to the head dragon trapper with curiosity. You said nothing though before turning to Hiccup.

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked as the rest landed on the ship after him. Gobber had landed just after him and had successfully managed to trap Eret just under his dragon. You listened to the conversation but it seemed to be more of a father and son thing.

You were close with Hiccup but not close enough to hear in great detail what goes on between him and his father. If anything you hung around Astrid most of the time, your dragons got along and so do you.

As they continued to talk you couldn’t help but look over at Eret who was now trapped underneath Grumpy, Gobbers dragon. You couldn’t help but laugh at the stupidity of the situation as you hopped off your dragon and walked over to him.

His head rested on one of his hands as the other tapped the floor beneath him relentlessly, that was until he noticed you. You crouched in front of him, a teasing smile very noticeably plastered on your face.

“So Eret… huh?” You asked which he scoffed.

“My name, Is Eret son of Eret. I am the finest dragon trapper alive!” He proclaimed, you nodded thinking quietly to yourself,

“He's not lying when he calls himself the finest…”

You were so caught up you almost forgot he was a dragon trapper. Someone who has hunted down, captured and likely killed possibly hundreds of those beautiful creatures, you thought the act to be unforgivable. He also claimed to work under Drago Bludvist which, according to Stoick's story, was not a man you’d want to mess with. And yet here you are looking at this man before you, and instead of disgust or anger… all you feel is curiosity as you take in his features.

The perks of pretty privilege you suppose.

It was an almost weird… surreal feeling you got when you stared at him. It almost felt like déjà vu of some kind, or just like you were meant to meet him? It was strange and you quickly brushed off the feeling.

“What kind of stupid idea is that? Fated to meet, Ha!” You thought to yourself before looking back at the man before you.

You could see the disgust on his face falter for just a second, just as he had noticed the same for you. That was before you had cleared your throat, taking attention away from the fact you were both just… silently staring at each other.

The unprompted staring contest only lasted for a few seconds in reality, but in your thoughts it felt much longer than it should’ve been.

“Well Eret, I'm sure you feel all high and mighty while being squished by that two thousand pound dragon.” You teased, standing back up at your full height so you were no longer even in the range of his eyes level. His ever so slightly softened gaze had once again hardened with anger as he shouted,

“Oh yeah, continue your mockery, it won’t mean anything once Drago has all your dragons!”

Which caught Gobbers attention who told Grump to get up then weigh himself right back down on Eret.

You laughed a bit at this as you walked back over to your dragon, unknowingly being watched by the man you had just talked to. Granted his stare was purely made up of confusion and nothing more but he was staring nonetheless.

“No, head back to Berk, I’ve had enough mutiny for one day!” Stoick ordered, hopping on SkullCrusher.

“Well, I suppose it’s time for us to go, have fun doing… whatever that is.” You teased again, watching as Eret struggled to stand up after finally being released from the weight of the dragon.

Eret stared at you, anger and confusion riddled his face, clearly offended that you would even think to talk to him in such a way. After all he is the finest dragon trapper alive, everyone should be treating him with respect! That’s what he thought anyway.

While he stared at you he failed to notice a very interested Ruffnut make her way over to him and try and plant a kiss on his face.

You watched as he uncomfortably tried to dodge it and for some reason you felt… weird about it. You couldn’t tell if you exactly felt bad for him or not but regardless you called out,

“Come on Ruffnut!”

You don’t know why you called her away from him, you had no real reason to. So what if he’s uncomfortable, he’s a dragon trapper, he doesn’t deserve comfortability after what he had done to all those dragons right?

It’s not like you would have to see him again anyways.

Or so you thought.

[fafnir19]

Mermaid Sire

The salty sea breeze whipped through Dr. Lang's hair as he and Alex stood on the deck of their small fishing boat. The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, casting a warm orange glow over the water. "Dad, do you think we'll catch anything today?" Alex asked, peering into the depths below. Dr. Lang chuckled, adjusting his fishing rod. "I have a good feeling about today, Alex. The sea has a way of surprising us."

As they waited, a figure emerged from the water, glistening in the fading light. It was a beautiful mermaid, her long hair floating around her as she swam gracefully towards their boat. "Dad, look!" Alex exclaimed, pointing at the mermaid. Dr. Lang's eyes widened in amazement. "We must catch her. She could be the key to unlocking so many mysteries of the ocean." With practiced precision, Dr. Lang maneuvered the net and successfully trapped the mermaid, much to her dismay. The mermaid let out a haunting melody, her voice filled with sadness and longing. "We've done it, Alex! This is a momentous discovery," Dr. Lang proclaimed, his excitement palpable. As they headed back to the research center, the mermaid's haunting cries echoed in the air, tugging at Alex's heart. Back at the research center, Dr. Lang and his team worked tirelessly to study the mermaid, unlocking the secrets of her underwater world.

One night, as Dr. Lang and Alex were sitting by the water's edge, a deep, resonant voice filled the air. "Lang! You have something that belongs to me." It was Neptun, the ancient god of the sea, his imposing figure rising from the depths. "Neptun, what brings you here?"

Dr. Lang asked, his voice trembling slightly. "That mermaid is under my protection. You have no right to keep her here," Neptun thundered, his eyes flashing with anger. "We are merely studying her for the betterment of science," Dr. Lang reasoned, trying to calm the god. "Your arrogance knows no bounds, mortal. You have defied me, and now you must face the consequences," Neptun declared. Before Dr. Lang could react, Neptun reached out and snatched Alex, pulling him into the watery depths. "Dad! Help!" Alex's muffled cries filled the air as he disappeared beneath the waves. "Alex!" Dr. Lang shouted, his heart pounding in his chest.

Neptun's laughter echoed across the water. "Your son is now in my domain. Unless you return what is mine, he will remain with me forever." Desperate and filled with fear, Dr. Lang agreed to Neptun's demands, releasing the mermaid back into the sea. Neptun's eyes glinted with triumph as he released Alex, but something happened. Alex grew scales on his legs and his legs grew together. He screamed until he had fully transformed into a young, glistening merman.

Dr Lang's jaw dropped. "Alex, what... what's happening?" Alex looked down at himself, marveling at his new form. "Dad, I feel... alive, powerful, and... different." His words spilled out with a mix of confusion and excitement. Neptune's booming laughter filled the air. "It's mating season, young one. And you, at eighteen, are at the peak of your mating urge." Dr Lang's mind reeled. "Mating urge? What are you talking about?" Neptune's eyes twinkled with mischief. "My dear scientist, your son will soon have only one thing on his mind. Once he's fulfilled his purpose during mating season, he will return to his human form and to you." Dr Lang struggled to comprehend. "But... but this is absurd!" Neptune's laughter echoed across the water. "Absurd, maybe. But it is nature's way. And your son will serve his role splendidly. He will become an exceptional specimen, a prime candidate for mating."

As if on cue, a group of young mermaids appeared, their sleek bodies gliding through the water with purpose. Alex's eyes glazed over with an intense desire, his instincts taking over as he joined the group without hesitation. "Alex, come back!" Dr. Lang called out, his voice filled with anguish. But Alex was lost in the throes of his newfound instincts, his consciousness consumed by the need to mate. About fifteen mermaids surrounded Alex in a beautiful bay and began kissing and caressing him. Alex got more and more aroused and his cock throbbed until it emerged from his scales in a fully erect state. A mermaid asked Alex:" Are you ready to mate?" Alex nodded and she called out to the other mermaids:" He is ready. Let's make him breeding stock." The mermaids touched him all over his body and stroked his cock. They kissed him and licked his neck. He was lost in a sea of sensations and couldn't think straight. Finally one of the mermaids mounted him and rode him hard. He felt her pussy contracting around him and he couldn't hold back any longer. He exploded inside her and filled her with his cum. Immediately another mermaid took her place and rode Alex' cock. He mated with each of the mermaids and drifted afterwards completely exhausted in the wide sea. Neptun watched the scene with enthusiasm and said to Alex:" Your instincts and your stamina are strong, they will turn you into a mere breeding stud in no time. "Alex whispered with an exhausted voice and a smile on his lips:" Yeah, breeding stud!"

Time seemed to stretch endlessly and Dr Lang's heart was heavy with guilt and sorrow. Eventually, as the mating season passed, a familiar figure emerged from the waves, but it was not the timid, bookish Alex he knew. Instead, a striking, confident athlete stood before him, resembling a Greek god brought to life.

Alex spoke, his voice laced with an otherworldly resonance. Neptun smiled at Dr. Lang, his gaze piercing. "Your son has served his purpose well. He is truly a specimen of great potential." Alex turned to his father, a sense of purpose burning in his eyes. "I have made arrangements with Neptun. I will return to the sea during mating season next year." Dr. Lang's heart sank at the thought of seeing  his son again guided by his instinct like a mere animal.

"Alex, you don't have to do this. You're not just some breeding stock." Alex's voice was resolute. "I am Neptun's stud. I will mate with whatever he brings to me." Neptun fixed Dr. Lang with a cold gaze, his hand reaching out to Alex' balls possessively. "That belongs to me now," Neptun declared, his voice like crashing waves. Alex smiled proudly and said: "I couldn't imagine a greater honor than you claim my seed - it is all yours." Dr. Lang felt a surge of helplessness and fear as he realized the extent of Neptun's control over his son. Neptun gave Dr Lang a handful of pearls and added cold:" Send your son to the best universities money can buy, and make sure that he gets  good grades. If you fail I will take him away and train him myself. I have big plans for my priced mating stud!" 

[impala-dreamer]

I Ain't Ready To Go - Sneak Peek

"Some boundaries are hard not to cross..."

Jensen Ackles x F!Reader

3,426 Words

NSFW, Friends to Lovers, Infidelity, Passionate Love

For @jacklesversebingo “An Agreement”

...If she stared any deeper into his emerald eyes, Y/N knew she’d never get out of there. She swallowed hard and worked up the will to push herself up. 

It was better to go before anything happened; better to leave and dream forever about ‘what if’ than to stay and regret it. 

He felt it, too. That draw, that pull, the internal tug that inched him ever closer to her. It had always been there, always hanging overhead like some invisible net about to drop and trap them together. Maybe the shots were a bad idea, but looking at her now, so soft, so beautiful, with lips waiting to be kissed and curves begging to be held, every idea seemed like a good one.

Jensen’s long exhale passed over her lips and any thought of decency or morals left her head. ...

Coming To Patreon July 22, 2024

[malsfefanfics]

Claude/Petra?

Oooh, I have just the thing.

In hindsight, he really should have expected this. When he and Petra had that minor argument, he should have expected her to resolve it this way. Why did he even argue with her in the first place? He didn't mean it.

No. He might not have meant it, but if he was honest with himself, he still did it deliberately. He just wanted to see her outsmart him again. To show off her skills. Remind him of everything he loved about her and more. To spend as much time together as possible.

It'd been three years since he'd followed her to Brigid, and as much as he wanted to, he couldn't stay there forever. He had too much work to do.

He was returning to Almyra soon.

So, he wanted to make more memories with her before he departed. Though with all the work Petra had been doing lately, they'd barely had time to spend together. And whenever he tried to talk to her about it, someone or something pulled her away.

So he decided to tease her. Challenge her to things he knew she bested him in. Hoping her competitive spirit would take over and they could have some fun.

But he got a little too cocky this time. A little too full of himself.

And now, here he was. In the forest, at night, tied up in a net trap like a wild cat as Petra came out from her hiding spot. At least five animals hanging from her spear. While his measly two lay on the ground below.

"I think we are being done with this," she declared. "I have claimed the victory. Do you yield?"

“I really can’t compete with you," he chuckled. "Okay, you win. You are, in fact, the superior hunter between us."

"That was a given. Being in Brigid, I am knowing all the best places to hunt and hide." She went over to the rope and cut him down.

Claude quickly adjusted himself, and his fall caused only a minor bruise to his ego. "Oof. Thanks, Petra."

"Do not be thanking me," Petra chided. "This should not have been happening in the first place. Your insistence on this challenge is not being like you, Claude."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right," he groaned, staggering to his feet. "I'm sorry for needling you."

"Needling....but you have not been wielding needles."

"No, it's an expression. It means I've been instigating this little argument of ours."

She nodded slowly. "I see. I have understanding now. You were being....what does Dorothea call it it again....A trick?"

"Ah, you don't need to figure that out. I know." Claude sighed. "Yeah. I was a jerk."

"Yes. But what I am not understanding is why you were being that way. It is very much the act of childishness."

Claude stared at her, before bursting into laughter. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess that was childish. I just....I wanted to spend time with you. Make some more memories before I head back to Almyra."

Petra stabbed her spear into the ground. "If that is being the case, then why not tell me?"

"Because every time I tried, you got pulled away for something important."

She let out a soft gasp and her face turned pink. "I am seeing the problem now. Perhaps I should be explaining. I have been busy....what's it called again....ah, delegating! That's the word."

"Delegating?" he asked.

"Yes. So that I may go with you to Almyra. I am to be meeting the mother and father of my husband eventually, am I not?" She smirked, lightly tapping the end of his nose. "You were really thinking you would be leaving without me? I will be going with you. And if you try to fight me on this, I will not be losing."

Claude couldn't help but smile, reaching his arms around her waist. "Guess you win again. Really can't compete with you."

[angelasscribbles]

Sunday Six 03.03.2024

I'm a day early but I'll forget by tomorrow!!

Listen, I feel like I haven't posted in forever, despite the fact that my recently posted list has eight things for February. Still. None of my eight chapters last month were from any of my ongoing series. (They were from my open-ended stuff or they were one-shots).

Just so you guys know I have not forgotten about them, here are excerpts from the four that are closest to completion.

As usual, the snippets are under the cut.

The De Facto Queen Chapter 5:

She hesitated as her hand hovered over the knob. Something was clearly wrong, or the head of the Royal Guard wouldn’t be on the phone with her fiancé. The memory of being shot at engulfed her. The smell of gunpowder in her nose, the thunderous booming of the gun in her ears, the wet stickiness of Drake’s blood on her skin and the crippling fear of loss all washed over her with incapacitating suddenness.

The knock sounded again. She jumped, jerking away from the door as if she’d been scalded. “Who is it?”

Savage Love Chapter 37:

The American justice system had failed and released a known mobster, allowing him to slip through their security net. But he wasn’t in America anymore. He was on my turf, and I had a literal license to kill.

Rico Mendez would spend the rest of his life in a Cordonian prison, or he would die, and it didn’t matter much to me which one it was. All I cared about was getting him off the streets and keeping Riley safe.

We arrived at the rendezvous spot, but nothing went according to plan.

Heir Apparent Chapter 21:

“Remind me again why I have to attend this ball tonight?” Riley grumbled as she pulled at her dress while frowning at her reflection in the mirror.

She was tired. She was huge. Her feet hurt.

“Because it’s a tradition, καρδιά μου,”  Drake told her gently as he grasped her shoulder and turned her around to face him. “And you can stop fussing with the dress. You look beautiful.”

“Well, it’s a stupid tradition,” she muttered with a shake of her head. Her bad mood evaporated as she looked up into her husband’s face. “Can you sneak me out of there early?”

“You know this ball is in your honor, right?”

“It’s in the baby’s honor not mine,” she quipped, “And the baby wants to go to bed early tonight.”

“Okay, okay,” he laughed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Dark Elf Chapter 8:

“That’s your problem,” she moved her still-naked body closer to him, her hand moving from his chest to snake through his hair, “Living with humans has made you soft. You shouldn’t have trusted him, and you shouldn’t have trusted me.”

“No,” Liam shook his head, “We’re friends, I didn’t need to force him—"

“You act like the bond is a thing that traps him. The bond between a spell breaker and their master keeps you both safe!”

“In what way?” Liam asked incredulously.

She scooted closer still so that their bodies were pressed firmly against each other. Her head tipped back to stare up into his eyes. “It would have prevented me from taking him for starters.”

[justplainwhump]

"Match, set, and game" for the prompts!

This one sentence prompt has been in my ask box forever, and long before this AU was born. But now, it fits perfectly.

Part of the heartbreaking Dany/bad!Peyton-AU with @wildfae-afterdark ; Geoff and Peyton are their characters.

[Just A Fling Masterlist]

Content / warnings: vaguely implied past noncon (m/f), past noncon drugging, vibes of abusive relationship and date rape, survivor struggling to cope.

"Game, Set and Match."

Grinning, Dany drops her racket, and bumps Dennis' fists.

It's a beautiful day, the sun's shining over the lush grounds of the tennis club, filled with cheers and idle chatter, and both Dennis and her are in great shape.

"Langley/Hammond qualify for the quarter finals."

They do the obligatory handshakes with the losing team, and Dany fixes her ponytail before she grabs their water bottles.

"Watch the other match?" Dennis asks. "Check the competition? They're still at it. Not everyone can win to zero."

Dany takes a swig from the bottle and shrugs. "Sure, why not."

It's not really necessary in a tournament like the Fitzwilliam Memorial Trophy, that's more of a societal summer event than a sports challenge- their only true challenge are Sita and Sanjay and they've been drawn into another bracket entirely.

"Who is it?"

"Kim/Carter vs Cortlandt/Cortlandt."

"Cortlandt?" The water tastes foul somehow, and Dany sets down the bottle. Her stomach feels queasy.

"Yeah." Dennis looks at the names on the draw and then down at the other court with a shrug. "Geoff and Liza. Cousins. They're not horrible, I guess. Not a threat, either."

"I, uh." Dany looks at the players and trails off. Geoff Cortlandt moves with long, measured strides, his game not focused on speed, but rather on a precise strength. It makes her shiver.

She reaches out to steady herself on the railing.

"Dany?"

She doesn't look at Dennis, can't, when Geoff picks up the ball to serve and bounces it once. For a moment, his gaze flits over the audience and settles on her.

His lips twitch into a slim grin, and then he turns back to the court, tosses the ball into the air and slams it over the net with impossible force, unreachable for Stevie Kim.

"Dany?" Dennis repeats. "What was that? You're having history with Cortlandt?"

She forces herself to breathe, slowly shakes her head. "Just an acquaintance. Met him a handful of times. I, uh. I just don't like him."

Dennis chuckles. "Yea, nobody really does. Only ones who can stand him are that weird little cult around him and Peyt-" He trails off and clicks his tongue. "Oh. That's how you know him, huh? You still seeing Montgomery?"

"No." Dany exhales softly, not bothering up to ask him how he knows. Rumours travel fast, in their circles. "It's over." It's over. They haven't seen each other since that gala. Peyton had left the very same night, set off to Georgia.

With Geoff.

Seems they're back.

"But you're good?"

"Sure am." She chuckles darkly, almost in reflex. "I won't let a fling affect my mood."

If she'd look, she knows she'd see that Dennis doesn't believe her. But she doesn't look.

She can't take her eyes off of Geoff. There's something about him, something deeply unsettling, something that makes her sure if she looks away just once he'll show up right in front of her, and he'll grab her head and-

She shakes her head. Ghosts. He's getting into her head, she needs to focus on the tournament, nothing else.

Like Dennis, who's mumbling into her ear about their techniques and weaknesses, about tactics and strategy.

She can't listen. She's trapped.

And she knows that he knows. If anything, it makes him play better. They make the next point, too, and the next.

"Match, set and game."

"Cortlandt/Cortlandt qualify for the quarterfinal."

Before even congratulating his partner, Geoff's gaze locks with Dany's again. He moves his hand, a slow gesture, as if he's holding a champagne glass.

"Showoff," Dennis next to her groans. "He's not even half your level."

Geoff raises his imaginary glass to a toast, and Dany's legs give in.

It's only Dennis' quick reaction that keeps her from falling. Dennis' arm around her waist. Like Peyton's, when Geoff had toasted to her at the gala. Like Peyton's, later, when her mind was foggy and they were somewhere darker, more private.

But not alone.

They hadn't been alone.

Geoff Cortlandt had been there.

"Withdraw." She staggers back to her feet and shoves Dennis' hand off her. "We withdraw. I... No. No. I can't. Not that."

"What?" Dennis steps back to stare at her in disbelief. Behind him, the players leave the court and walk up the stairs.

She spins on her heel and flees towards the bathrooms.

*

She's thrown up twice. It helps, to deal with her body, not her mind. It helps to think about what's real. She cleans up her face, straightens her hair in front of the mirror, trying not to think too much about the other time she's tried to fixed herself up from a messed up state.

At least the shadows have a face now.

I'm sorry, she texts Dennis.

We need to talk, she texts Peyton.

Then, she throws in a breath mint and goes find Geoff Cortlandt.

*

He's seated in the player's lounge at a corner table, scrolling through his phone, his face still a little flushed from the game. His eyebrows shoot up when he sees her, but the short hint of surprise shifts into an easy smirk. "Ms Hammond. Too sick to play, I heard? Still hungover from that gala, where we've run into each other?"

Dany's jaw tightens. "What did you do?"

He laughs a little, leans closer like they're best friends. "What did we do? Nothing you didn't beg for, princess. You still can't remember? I guess the tabloids were right about your partying reputation."

She should've sat down as well. Her knees threaten to give in again. And somehow it's not the pet name, not the insinuation, not the humiliation that hurts her most.

It's the 'we'.

"I had a tox screen made." Her voice is slow, but firm. She's a negotiatior, after all. She can keep her voice steady, even when everything is pulled away from underneath her. "I'm sure you know how it came back. It was you, wasn't it? It was you, who spiked my drink."

He looks at her, hooded eyes flat and suddenly unamused. "Whatever you took that night is none of my business. I had enough to do keeping my friend out of your clutches."

She feels dizzy, and yet, weirdly relieved. The ghosts, the nightmares, the faceless void they've manifested into something real. She's still lost at sea, but she's been drowning before, and now she's broken through the surface, she can breathe again. Breathe, and fight.

"That's why?" She stares at him. "You drugged me and you fucked me and you left me like trash, because you felt threatened?" A wild giggle escapes her throat. "Oh. Wow. What a pathetic little man you are. Go fuck yourself, Mr Cortlandt. Or go fuck Peyton, for all I care. But guess what? I fucked him better."

Anger flares up in his gaze, his muscles tense, his weight shifts to the edge of his seat - but instead of attacking her, his lips bend into a fake, calm smile.

"Who we fuck isn't your business any more, Ms Hammond. My game is up. Gotta win a tournament." He gets up and brushes over the front of his pristinely white shirt. "Have a good day."

Dany stares past him as he leaves, counts her breaths to twenty to calm her racing heartbeat.

Then she calls her driver.

She needs to know.

She needs to see Peyton.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About The First Doctor's Run

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and sometimes draw comics and cartoons.

So, I’ve made a discovery…Almost every episode of Classic Doctor Who is available FOR FREE on Tubi! You know what this means?!

“More people can watch the early beginnings of the most iconic sci-fi series of all time?”

That AND I can finally review Doctor Who as a whole!

I won’t lie, this has been something I’ve wanted to do for a WHILE. Either as a ranking of each Doctor or a ranking of their best episodes, I’ve been wanting to go in depth with this series for SO LONG. And since the odds are I WON’T become a writer for television like I’ve always dreamed, I might as well talk about my favorite TV shows! Starting with the son of a bitch who started it all: The First Doctor.

Here’s what I know about the First Doctor: Next to nothing. My experience with The Doctor as a whole started all the way with Number Nine, with the only taste of One being through that Christmas Special a few years back. He’s definitely more cynical and rude than present Doctors, but this is way back in his early beginnings. NO ONE knew what direction this character would take years later and just focussed on making an interesting character NOW. Er, then? Now? Then?

Eh, bibbly-bobbly.

The point is that I’m going to TRY and not be biased with One, look at him as if I were right there in 1963. Unfortunately, unlike everyone ELSE in the sixties, I don’t have access to all the episodes. During 1968-1978, most tapes that held Doctor Who episodes were reused for new film or deleted completely for space, leaving NINETY-SEVEN episodes erased from time forever and causing twenty-six serials either gone completely or incomplete. It’s basically what streaming services and studios are doing nowadays, but without pirating sites as a safety net to preserve the art from being COMPLETELY lost. Now, there are some audio tracks saved for commercial release that feature still images or commissioned animation, but that’s not the case for every episode, unfortunately. So things are going to get a little…weird for this review. For now, I’ll say that I’m going to stick to what’s on Tubi and improvise with what’s NOT on there. Also, I’m not going to go through every single episode. Just share my thoughts on each serial as a WHOLE, mainly because those practically add up to modern episodes anyway, just an hour or two longer.

Now, with that said, let’s take a step back in time as we discuss the first adventures with our first Doctor.

Decades Old Spoilers Below

THE SERIALS

We’ll begin by going in order of each serial, starting with his first adventure and ending with his last. Helps go through this journey together.

The Unearthly Child: Okay, full disclosure, this one’s NOT on Tubi, so I had to look it up through…other means. But to be fair, it’s not like I could just IGNORE The Doctor’s very first adventure. It’s here we see a sort of formula that still remains constant to this day. The Doctor meets new companions, they become shocked by how the TARDIS is bigger on the inside, they go to a place that’s filled with a temporary cast of disposable characters, and are forced to solve a problem for them or die trying. Of course, some things are different, and not just the inside of the TARDIS. The fact that The Doctor had a granddaughter was mind blowing and left me wondering what happened to her since she never showed up ONCE in the revival. And The Doctor was…surprisingly inactive despite being the titular character. He caused more problems than fixed them, like being the reason everyone was trapped in the Stone Age and later becoming the person who needed to be rescued. Honestly, Ian proved himself more as the leading man than The Doctor did throughout the whole ordeal, calling the shots and even being the one who came up with the plan that got them OUT of danger. Even when taking account that this was just the show starting out, it seems weird that the titular character isn’t the one who leads the group and is instead the whiney bitch that the others just tell themselves to ignore. As for the adventure, it’s pretty dull. Granted, you need to introduce audiences to the concept of time travel by showing them something easy to grasp like going back to the stone age. You gotta save weirder stuff for the future episodes. But the characters getting chased around by cavemen isn’t really that engaging, and it REALLY drags down a lot by part four where the conflict feels stretched out to meet the full twenty-three minutes. Overall, not that great of a first introduction but most of the best series of television rarely start off perfect. The question is if it makes me want to see more, and…it honestly doesn’t. If not for the knowledge of what the series would eventually become, I’m not sure WHY someone would stick around. But the Doctor Who fan in me is strong so I say we keep charging on.

The Daleks: The first encounter with The Daleks, the Doctor’s WORST enemies, and the serial is much better because of it. It’s actually interesting to see how these villains began with how simple they are to fight, the fact that they don’t INSTANTLY kill others they attack, and how they actually keep PRISONERS. And the serial does a great job at showing how they’re definite menaces to be feared, but not impossible to defeat, creating decent tension as the characters try to fight back literal killing machines. I also love how every character throughout the serial does something important, especially The Doctor who manages to do much more this time than whine and complain as he actually uses his intelligence to help his companions out of this troublesome situation. Although, he’s still the jackass that got them all trapped in this situation all for the sake of exploring a town that they know NOTHING about. There’s definite improvements to his character this time, but The Doctor being the cause for their current conflict is not one of them. And while we’re on complaints, this serial STILL feels like it stretches its adventure out for the sake of making the serial longer than it should be. There’s some definite excitement in the first half with our core four characters trying to escape the Daleks, but this serial still didn’t need to be seven gosh dang episodes long. I feel like there’s some meat to be cut out with making the Thals stand up for themselves, conceiving a plan of attack, and invading the Daleks’ base. Other than that, this is still a pretty decent serial filled with great tension from the Daleks and strong chemistry and dynamics between our core four. It’s definitely stronger than the last serial and a MUCH better introduction to the series. No wonder it’s the one that Tubi has.

The Edge of Destruction: A nice, short mystery where the first half does really well in making you feel as disoriented as the rest of the cast. There’s this solid unease where you’re not sure what’s going on and you’re left to pick up the pieces, bit by bit, to figure out what happened and if there’s anyone or anything responsible for this mess. Although, part two tends to fall a tad short because most of the clues we got were then explained to the audience and then given this big explanation that came out of left field because the biggest clue wasn’t revealed yet. So as a mystery, it definitely isn’t strong. Though, I do like how The Doctor is the one to figure things out and save the day in this serial. Sure, him being antagonistic towards the others wasn’t great but I enjoy how The Doctor has finally warmed up to his companions and that it’s implied that he no longer chooses to be suspicious of them. So while the mystery fell short, I can’t complain when it improves The Doctor’s character.

Marco Polo: Unavailable on Tubi due to the BBC deleting episodes. Yeah, unfortunately, this is our FIRST serial that can’t be seen in its entirety through official means…Though, no one said anything about using transcripts.

HAHA! Loophole! Because while I’m not going to steal audio-only episodes for the sake of reviews, who’s going to stop me from READING. It’s not stealing episodes if I’m just reading what happens! Although, unfortunately, it only gives me a PART of the picture. I won’t understand performances or fully grasp how characters look, but it’s no different from strictly LISTENING. There’s a lot that unfortunately goes missing when a visual media loses its visuals, and for a case like this it’s best to work with what we have. And what I have is the story pretty much described to me by someone else. It’s not preferable, but it IS what I can do for these times. Remember this every time a studio deletes episodes or entire shows off its platforms.

With that said, based on what I’ve read…Yeah, this one DRAGS. It’s The Doctor and company being forced to move from place to place and dealing with Marco Polo as they do. Doesn’t sound too bad, but each place they go to follows a specific formula: Someone does something Polo doesn’t like, he voices displeasure about it, The Doctor and others argue their case, Tegana points out how they’re actually evil, and Marco Polo, who flips from being reasonably cautious and unreasonably stupid, constantly tells them to get out of his face while still dragging them off to the next location. This goes on for SEVEN EPISODES, each one making the whole serial feel way too long and way too repetitive. I kept hoping this would be the end of the serial and we could move on to the next, only for it to KEEP. F**KING. GOING! It’s so dull that I needed TWO DAYS to read through the damn thing. But maybe that’s the problem: I had to READ it. There might be subtleties in the VISUAL performance that better conveys Marco’s personality, even if it DOES seem to flip/flop on paper. Plus, there are some things like the set designs and special effects that a transcript could gloss over and not properly convey. And there are SOME nice bits like The Doctor trying (and failing) to win the TARDIS back in a game of backgammon, which is all kinds of fun. And Susan made an endearing friendship with Ping-Cho. Those two are surprisingly adorable together and it’s nice to see Susan make a connection with someone her own age. Other than that, though, if this wasn’t that great of a story on paper, the original serial better have some MIND BLOWING execution to make it great. Otherwise, maybe fans aren’t losing much if this serial is lost to time.

The Keys of Marinus: A pretty clever idea with this one. The story for this serial is that The Doctor and his companions are out searching for the titular Keys of Marinus, presenting a story that’s a fetch-quest, with each episode dedicated to the characters finding one key. It’s smart because instead of stretching out one adventure to make the serial longer, it connects four adventures through this loose thread, keeping audience interest up as everyone tries to get out of the danger of the week. It’s fairly effective, filled with great moments like Barbara trying to save the core four from being brainwashed into mindless zombies, the entirety of “The Snows of Terror,” and The Doctor solving a murder. It’s all good fun, but not without some problems. An episode like “The Screaming Jungle” feels like it needs more time as there’s a lot of ideas that don't live up to its full potential or come out of nowhere. Like, a living jungle SOUNDS cool, but it only really comes into fruition until the end. There’s also the fact that the search for the last key feels stretched out because the writers didn’t realize soon enough that the finale for this serial was too short so they made the final hunt longer to compensate. But what bothers me the most is that The Doctor just…leaves the hunt just to spend time in a more civilized society. It works out for the murder mystery, but it also feels weird that the titular character bows out for two whole episodes, leaving his companions to do all of the work he neglects. Honestly, at this point, I’d say Ian should be the one the show is named after with how well he leads the party and even comes up with a clever plan to stop the big bads. And I know I keep harping on it, but why name the show Doctor Who when that same doctor hardly helps? Still, “The Keys of Marinus” is a fun serial that leads to solid short tales, even if there were some rough steps along the way.

The Aztecs: Oh, this one’s racist, isn’t it…? You know what? I’m as white as a ping-pong ball and have the patience of a goldfish to do proper research myself to make any judgments to decide something that I have no official standing on. So I won’t be the one to say what is and isn’t racist…Aside from the fact that those are obviously WHITE people playing the Aztecs.

But possible racism aside, this serial is more on the dull side. I do like this conflict between The Doctor and Barbara, where Barbara tries to change history for what she thinks is for the better (Which means changing the history and culture of Aztecs–Let’s not get into it) where The Doctor tries to convince her that there’s no way to change history. Future episodes continue to dive deep into the idea that history cannot be altered no matter what the characters want, and it’s interesting to see one of the first instances where the characters learn this the hard way. I also love how it ends on this idea that while they couldn’t change what happened, they still touched the lives of those they’ve made relationships with, meaning that it ALL wasn’t a loss. It’s a shining light of optimism within the tragedy that becomes a reoccuring theme through a lot of future episodes, and I love it each time. But other than that, this serial is another one that DRAGS. It’s just The Doctor and his companions screwing around with Aztecs for two hours while this boring subgroup conspired against them. It makes the whole serial feel like it’s running in place for too long, and I feel like if it cut out ONE episode or maybe shorten it down to two, the serial could be stronger for it. It’s also weird how Barbara is, like, a different person in this. Like, I get it, she’s acting like a goddess, but she seems TOO good at her performance, almost as if the writers wrote her as an ACTUAL goddess and not a character PRETENDING to be one. It feels off a lot of the time, and it’s just one more thing that makes this serial weak. Even though I like the idea of characters trying to fight hard to change history, that’s something done MUCH better in the future. It’s a charming first attempt, but not one I’m willing to revisit.

The Sensorites: A pretty…substandard serial. The titular Sensorites start off pretty scary and intimidating, being unlike anything the show has produced so far in this run. It presents a bit of uncanny horror for a good while…But then the serial reveals that they’re mostly peaceful creatures, aside from a few devious outliers, who actually need help. It’s a decent twist that also leads to The Doctor being the most active he’s ever been. The way he goes about finding a cure for this mysterious illness and taking charge in dealing with any dangerous Sensorite made it feel like, for the first time, he deserves to have the show named after him. I like it…but it doesn’t stop the serial feeling like it’s a little aimless at times, almost as if it’s drifting by for six episodes. We get some good stuff from it, but storywise it feels like we’re just bouncing from scene to scene as if the writers are making stuff up as they go and presenting coincidences that foil some villains’ plans. And then there’s this out of nowhere idea that this subgroup of humans lived under the Sensorites for so long, but there was never any indication of this and it’s presented in the VERY LAST episode, making it an almost pointless idea that went nowhere. I’m glad to see The Doctor become more  of a leading man, but I would have preferred it in a better, more coherent serial.

The Reign of Terror: MOST of the serial is intact…aside from two episodes. Meaning that it’s incomplete and not available on Tubi, so…ONTO THE TRANSCRIPT!

On paper, this whole thing seems like a drag. It starts interestingly enough with The Doctor being separated from his companions as they’re taken prisoner during the French Revolution. It leads to Ian, Barbara, and Susan trying to escape while The Doctor tries to reunite with them (instead of pissing off for half the serial), creating this situation where everyone’s putting in the work as they share the same goal. The problem is that, like the REST of the serials before, the characters fart around for too long just to stretch the story out to reach a goal. They will escape and then get recaptured for the sake of forced tension, and by the time Susan and Barbara were in prison again I just wanted the serial to come close to an end. Thankfully, by then, there were two episodes left, but it doesn’t change how it’s all two episodes too long. The only thing to catch my intrigue later was Barbara wishing they could help Robespierre from getting killed and The Doctor reminding her that they can’t change history. I still love an idea like that, but here, it happens near the very end and there’s barely enough time to appreciate it or dive deep into it. In fact, this could have been a great “Can’t mess with the past” episode, but it’s just…the characters trying to escape a situation and spending too long on it. The worst part is that this is the Season One finale, the time to go for broke, and it’s just…the same old thing with the same old problems as previous serials. Maybe it worked better visually or even through audio, but on paper it’s just as slow and boring as ever. Hopefully the next season starts big.

Planet of Giants: Huh. Guess it did. Just…literally.

Jokes aside, I am impressed with the set design in this serial. I can tell everyone worked so hard to set the scale, making you feel how small these characters are. Sure, you can tell exactly HOW it was done, but for the sixties this all must have been mind blowing work, especially for a TV show. As for the story, it’s…adequate. The characters are trying to prevent these two men from making an insecticide that could do more harm than good while also trying to find their way back to the TARDIS to reverse their size. It’s not the BIGGEST (ha) danger in the world and it’s something they could have stopped easily at normal size. If they focussed on growing again, they could have stopped the main evil prick within seconds, so the majority of the serial is just them messing around by trying to stop him while they’re an inch tall. And there’s also the fact that Barabara held the idiot ball throughout the serial, touching something in a lab when she shouldn’t have and keeping that information to herself for far too long. Like, WHY didn’t she tell the others she was infected with the insecticide? We never got an answer for that and it’s kind of frustrating as it adds unnecessary tension to a serial that doesn’t really need it. The characters trying to get big again is more than enough, we don’t need a nefarious plot about an insecticide gone wrong or one of the characters getting sick from it. But while the story definitely could use some improvements, the set design really does carry it, being an impressive visual display even if it’s for an inferior serial.

The Dalek Invasion of Earth: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH, so THAT’S what happened to Susan…Anyways, the best way I could describe this serial is two steps forward and one step back. The cinematography is impressive, looking like a feature film at times with dynamic shots and cool ways that the camera follows the characters. BUT the direction seems to be all over the place. Most of the time, it’s fine, but then you get stuff like actors interrupting or talking over each other or moments where peripheral view is…not a thing. There’s even a part where a Dalek is looking RIGHT AT THE DOCTOR as it’s moving away…and it just continues moving onward as if nothing happened. It’s actually kind of hilarious at times. And speaking of the Daleks, this serial did a great job showcasing how threatening and evil they can really be. The twisted way they used humans as slaves to destroy a planet is sick and seeing how that broke the human mind and ruined their families proved that the Daleks are nothing to be messed with. The problem is that the serial shows how easily they can be messed with. Like, even if they doubt the intelligence of normal Earth people, it’s not a smart plan to have a way for them to escape their prison cell WITHIN THE CELL ITSELF! And how is it that they can blast away people no problem but struggle with the robot slaves they made? I don’t know how it’s possible, but this serial manages to make these tin salt shakers MORE and LESS terrifying. On the upside, our heroes are at least competent in this adventure. Much like the last encounter with the Daleks, everyone does something of value, only this time they’re all split up to accomplish their own task that actually helps the others in a way they wouldn’t expect. It DOES feel like some plot lines are a little aimless with some of our cast waffling about a little longer than they should, but it all leads to a great ending when they reunite once more. 

And, of course, there’s the sad departure of Susan. It’s performed well and does a decent job of making me FEEL a little sad when The Doctor allows Susan to leave so she can live a life of her own without being forced to travel everywhere with him. I liked it…though I do have issues with how the reason that she wants to leave is because she fell in love with a man she’s known for a few days. It’s part of the writing of the sixties, I know that, but it doesn’t change how WEIRD it feels that Susan is willing to give up everything she knows for someone she recently met. So while I enjoyed the scene, it felt very flawed, which is the same for the whole serial. I enjoyed it a lot, but there were a few imperfections here and there that made “The Dalek Invasion of Earth” a messy, albeit fun, serial.

The Rescue: This was a blessedly short serial. The big twist was fairly easy to figure out after Part One, and if this serial was stretched out for more than two parts it would hurt it significantly. We don’t need four parts of the characters farting around, picking up little clues, and then solving the big crisis within minutes. So having the story last for about two episodes leaves for a brief adventure that works well on its own while also introducing the audience to Vicki. And I’ll admit…I’m not too sure about Vicki in this serial. She comes across as a less competent Susan who cries more and doesn’t have the same intrigue Susan did as being The Doctor’s granddaughter. It’s obvious that she’s there as a replacement for the “The Young One” in the group and it doesn’t work for me. What DOES work is how The Doctor is presented, as he acts much more like The Doctor I know now. He’s active towards figuring out what’s going on, caring towards Vicki and consoling her when she needs it, and is the one to confront Bennett in the climax of the serial. I do like how it’s sort of a slow burn with The First Doctor, showing him eventually grow from the bitter old man who couldn’t care less about anyone else to a more kind and proactive character due to the adventures he went on with his companions and the people that they meet. I still say it was off to name the show after the guy who didn’t do much, but The Doctor’s slowly earning his role as the leading man and I enjoyed that this is one of the earlier starts of them becoming the hero we know now. So while this is a standard serial, it does give us one of the better presentations of The First Doctor.

The Romans: *INSERT DATED ROMAN EMPIRE JOKE HERE*

Anywho, this one’s pretty entertaining. There’s basically two sides of this serial’s story: The Doctor and Vicki hanging out with Nero and his hysterical nonsense and Ian and Barbara being stuck in the slave trade…Yeah, probably sounds like the tones would heavily clash with this one, but it surprisingly flows well. You laugh at the hijinks of The Doctor acting as a close friend towards Nero while feeling empathy for Barbara and Ian as they’re forced into the worst possible position in Rome. There’s even equal attention to both plotlines, making them balance each other out fairly well that leads to the serial feeling fast but fun. The only thing that drags it down is how it begins and ends. The cut between the TARDIS falling and The Doctor and Ian chilling out in Roman attire felt jarring. Same goes for the reveal that they willingly stayed in Rome for a whole month instead of focussing all attention on fixing the TARDIS. I suppose it would come across as a pleasant holiday, but then they say they’ve been hanging out in someone else’s house while they were away and that’s…odd. It’s odd that it worked out like that for a whole month. Same goes with the ending, where The Doctor feels giddy at causing the fire of Rome. Even for the First Doctor, it doesn’t seem right that they would take joy in causing such destruction and mayhem. But aside from the problems in the beginning and the end, everything in the middle of the serial offered great entertainment for a pleasant viewing for me.

The Web Planet: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY EARS! For whatever bizarre reason or another, SOMEONE decided to give these giant ants the most ear-piercingly irritating sound for how they communicate. It was already grating by the first episode, yet they still thought it was a good idea to use the same sound, continuously, FOR SIX EPISODES! Halfway through the third, I genuinely considered skipping the rest of the serial entirely because I couldn’t STAND those f**king ants! Thankfully, I remembered that subtitles were a thing, so I just played the rest of the serial on mute and just read the subtitles. Trust me when I say that is the only way to make the damn thing watchable. And even then, it’s not that great of a serial anyways. It’s the characters helping these anthropomorphic bugs with slightly less annoying (but still pretty annoying) voices in a rebellion against the ants. I’m all about it, because screw those things, but it’s still a bog-standard adventure with some admittedly impressive costumes and effects for the time. I don’t know, maybe it’s because I couldn’t stand LISTENING to this episode, but I would have been completely fine if this was one of the few serials lost to time.

The Crusade: Speaking of which, HALF of this serial is missing and not on Tubi either. So ONTO THE TRANSCRIPTS (Gosh dang it…)

I think the problem with this serial is made clear with how it begins. We have new characters talking about political nonsense as if we, the audience, should already know the context of what they’re saying. Then when we’re introduced to the core four, they’re thrown into the middle of a battle with no proper set-up that their conflict of Barbara getting kidnapped happened so fast that it barely registers. This slow pace of boring politics with characters we don’t know and fast paced attempts of Barbara trying to escape her kidnappers remains throughout this whole serial. MAYBE it was handled better visually, but the way the serial constantly introduces new characters to discuss politics while The Doctor and his companions are barely there makes the whole thing feel like its priorities are disjointed. There should be more focus on Barbara trying to escape while the others go out to save her, but there’s so much attention on the politics and trying so hard to be historically accurate or whatever and it…doesn’t keep my interest. Not to mention that the constant new characters to keep track of as they steal attention is not all that entertaining and causes the whole serial to seem like it forgets who the show’s really about. I just wanted it all to end, as I feel like this is one of those serials that aren’t better on paper nor through execution.

The Space Museum: This one starts off pretty confusing, first intentionally and then unintentionally. I’m just as lost as the characters are, wondering what happened to them and what’s to come of it. It effectively puts me in the mindset the serial wants me to have, but then they give this explanation that just makes my brain hurt when I try to think about it too long and hard. Thankfully, the premise that the serial tries to sell is simple enough to shrug off the nonsense of time and relative dimension or whatever the hell. Basically, The Doctor and his companions saw a vision of what COULD BE their future, and the whole serial is them trying to make sure that never comes to be. It’s a solid premise that’s effectively tense in a lot of scenes as the characters seemingly get closer to what could be an inevitable future. Added with some fun moments of The Doctor being a giggly old goof as he screws with his enemies and it’s a fun time. The only weak part is this subplot involving the most ineffective rebellion I’ve ever seen, where it’s a miracle that they survived this long until they received help from Vicki of all characters. Though, even then, the subplot does well to show how independent Vicki can be in a situation AND adds to the theme that a person’s future can be changed if they changed the lives of others. It’s a decent message that helps make the serial a surprisingly good time. And yeah, that ending sting made me excited for the next one. Speaking of…

The Chase: This was…not what I was expecting. In the last two encounters with The Daleks, it was a big, tense adventure with the characters struggling to find a way to beat them. Here, it’s more like “The Keys of Marinus,” a collection of small adventures as the characters are chased through space and time as they try to escape The Daleks. It’s less of an epic adventure and more of a mixed bag of fun escapades and…awkward distractions. For example, watching the characters get stuck in a haunted house or fighting a robotic Doctor can be entertaining, but them interacting with this weird, underground civilization or this man from Alabama just drag it to a halt. Thankfully, the worst of it is only in the first half, making it a serial that starts slow but picks up momentum as things go on. There’s also some decent money put into this, having some impressive sets that change each episode, some crazy special effects for the sixties (the part where there’s two Doctors still looks good), and some creative camera angles that give a more cinematic feel. I dare say that this would be an impressively put together serial that is mostly fun despite some awkwardness.

But the real meat of this is that “The Chase” ends with the departure of Ian and Barbara. I will admit, the pacing upon their exit felt a bit too fast, with their decision to leave coming out of nowhere and their return home not giving us enough time to appreciate them appreciating Earth. Although, as weird as the pacing is, The Doctor’s heartbreak to see them go is well-acted and believable. You can tell that he���s less upset about the risk that comes with using The Daleks’ time machine and more upset about the idea that they want to leave in the first place. It’s odd that he feels more upset over two humans than his granddaughter, but this is still a moment that introduces the tragedy of The Doctor. They’re a character that’s always on the move, going from one part of the universe to the next and having to say goodbye to every friend and companion they ever make. They WANT to keep company, but know that their companion’s departure is always inevitable. Yet it breaks their heart just the same. I FEEL that tragedy here way more than with Susan, where The Doctor seemed more than willing to let her live her life. But with Ian and Barbara, these two humans who left an impact on him, they’ll stick with The Doctor’s heart for a long time.

The Time Meddler: The premise of this one is great. A time-traveler disguised as a monk is screwing with time to make himself the most important person in the universe. And The Doctor, being the biggest defender of time and space, tries to stop him. It’s a perfect idea that fits perfectly with who The Doctor is while giving him a true foil that he won’t have again until meeting The Master. It’s actually a ton of fun watching what’s basically the Beta Master trying to mess with history just for the pure selfish reasons of self-importance. And I do say that the serial perfectly captures that idea…by Part Four. Yeah, the majority of the first three parts are about hinting at what The Monk has been doing and padding out the runtime with characters screwing around in the woods or the monastery. By the time we get to Part Four, it does work well with the premise, having The Doctor and The Monk try and outsmart each other for victory with The Doctor, of course,  coming out on top. And I’ll admit that it was great seeing The Doctor take charge without someone else stealing the show as the leading man. What, do you think that the new guy STEVEN is going to take Ian’s place as the take-charge companion? Get the hell out of here…

But, yeah, while the first three parts DRAG, “The Time Meddler” at least ends on a high enough note where I say it was worth the watch. I’ll likely only return to that final episode instead of watching the whole thing, but what are you gonna do?

Galaxy 4: Unfortunately, this is another that’s been deleted from history. HOWEVER, it’s still on Tubi…Sort of. Because the audio logs are still intact, they had the whole serial reanimated by Digitoonz Media & Entertainment. And it’s…distracting. Not because the animation is bad. I mean, yeah, it’s not GREAT, but what’s distracting about it is that the animators tried their hardest to give this serial a cinematic feel, having grandiose backgrounds and doing things the actors and set designers wouldn’t be capable of doing. It’s entertaining to see, but leaves me questioning what the original episodes would have looked like. Because there is NO WAY this animation is an EXACT reenactment of what happens. But I’m not really complaining because there are some good stuff that comes from making this serial animated, like having all of Maaga’s forces exact copies of one another or actually seeing the destruction of the planet as Maaga is forced to watch it fall apart around her. I like a lot of this stuff, despite the distractions. As for the story, it feels blessedly quick, albeit simple. I saw the twist of Maaga and her weird ass clones being the real evil a mile away, but this WAS likely one of the first instances when a story presents the nice looking creatures as evil where the ugly looking ones are good. I can give it a little leeway for that, especially since “Galaxy 4” makes it clear that it’s MAAGA who’s the real villain whereas her clones are more or less drones following orders to appease their crooked master. There’s actually a bit of tragedy to the clones where they don’t get a chance to think on their own and do what their master says because it’s all they know. It effectively makes you feel bad for them as you also feel grateful that Maaga dies knowing it was all for nothing. And, again, it all goes by fairly quickly, making a serial that feels short and to the point. I couldn’t ask for better and I REALLY wish there were more lost episodes that were animated. Would have at least made for a more unique experience than reading transcripts to ones that are lost.

Mission to the Unknown: Speak of the devil! At least it’s only ONE episode…And a pretty decent one at that.

This is the first time where we don’t follow The Doctor or any of their companions, but instead some one-off characters. This would happen on occasion, with one of the most popular examples being the episode “Blink,” showing great tension as we watch these characters try to survive without a Doctor to save them. It’s no different here, as “Mission to the Unknown” features two men trying to warn the galaxy of a master plan of the Daleks, setting up a future serial while also standing well on its own for a quick adventure that ends in unfortunate death. It doesn’t give us enough time to really CARE about them, but that might have something to do with me reading it too fast. It’s still a solid episode that leaves one fearing for what’s to come later.

The Myth Makers: And another for the transcripts. Son of a bitch…

It’s not easy to tell strictly through text, but I think this is meant to be a more comedic adventure. In past serials like “Marco Polo” and “The Crusade,” they bore me by forcing in politics and dull characters, likely for the sake of “Historical accuracy.” Here, it’s The Doctor and his companions dealing with idiots on both sides of the Trojan War, with historical accuracy most definitely thrown out the window as people are more familiar with the version in Homer’s Odyssey. It is much more entertaining to see The Doctor try to appeal to the whims of a meathead like Odysseus and watching Priam and his family bicker about Cassandra and the legitimacy of her visions, rather than getting lost in the politics. It’s fun, but I’m curious if it’s meant to be. You have obvious comedic moments like Steven’s quickly failed rescue attempt and Menelaus wanting a drink after hearing The Doctor’s Trojan Horse plan, but the majority of the lines also don’t strike me as TOO humorous. That’s largely because the way an actor delivers a line versus how it’s written can give two different reactions, and it’s why READING the lines doesn’t leave as big of a comedic punch as hearing an actor say it in a funny way.

“Well, then listen to the audio versions.”

I’VE READ SO MANY TRANSCRIPTS AT THIS POINT! I’M IN TOO DEEP NOW!

But I will say that if the point WAS to make this adventure more comedic, then it makes the inevitable fall of Troy feel all the more tragic. I didn’t want the Trojans to die! They were FUNNY! And because they made me laugh a little, it hurt seeing them killed, even if I should have expected from the beginning.

One thing I didn’t expect, though, was that this was Vicki’s departure. Which I wouldn’t have minded if not for how it’s weirdly unceremoniously done. There’s no final goodbye and it feels like it breezes past The Doctor saying he’ll miss her. And her reasoning is just…dull. She leaves because she liked a boy, much like how SUSAN left. I guess there WAS a bit of foreshadowing given how Priam changes Vicki’s name to Cressida, a female character in retellings of the Trojan War who famously falls for Troilus. But even then, it still feels weak and even strange that Vicki would willingly choose to stay in a time she doesn’t live in for Troilus, a boy she knew for about two days. I know it’s something that just…happens back then in 60s fiction, but makes for an off addition to an already entertaining serial.

The Daleks’ Master Plan: SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, this is the LONGEST serial yet! Possibly the longest serial in the show’s history! And the weirdest part is that only three episodes of it still exist, which is crazy not only because of the length but also because it features The Daleks. Even back then, it’s pretty clear that The Daleks are the fan favorite villains of the series, with the writers inserting them in when they can. And you would think that major characters such as them would be more valuable to protect, but no. All we have are mostly audio logs…And transcripts for yours truly.

Which is a shame too, because…this is a frickin’ GOOD one! Quite possibly the best serial I’ve ever read yet! The plot is basically characters playing keep away from each other, chasing after this insanely impressive element that The Daleks want to use for another doomsday weapon. And I just loved that the second The Doctor saw The Daleks, he knew that they needed to be stopped. He wasn’t forced into it or was trying to survive The Daleks attacking first. After three whole adventures of dealing with them, The Doctor finally put two and two together to realize that The Daleks just existing is enough to know that nothing good can come from it. So he takes charge on an adventure that’s definitely a little too long but reads as incredibly grand. It’s sort of a repeat of “The Chase,” where The Doctor and company go from place to place, planet to planet, so they can avoid The Dalek’s capture, but there’s some things that make this serial stronger. For one, the stakes feel real this time, with characters who assist The Doctor and Steven on their journey getting killed unceremoniously or tragically. You’re given enough time with Bret, Katarina, and Sara that when they meet their end for the sake of saving the group, it makes you feel a little something. The whole serial comes to a close with this idea that while victory was met in the end, The Doctor and Steven still take a moment to reflect on the lives they lost to win. It really sets how grim and deadly this adventure was, showing characters could die whether they’re ones you care about or even enemies to The Doctor. Speaking of, this serial also works in giving more unique foes outside of STRICTLY The Daleks. You have Chen, an arrogant and egotistical dilweed who’s maniac drive to be ruler of the Universe and doing anything to get it makes you enjoy his untimely demise all the more. There’s even a surprise return of The Monk, who sets himself more as this pathetic failure of a villain as he stumbles constantly to one-up The Doctor only to be outsmarted every turn. Both mix things up well while also making it clear that The Daleks are the real threats as Chen and The Monk follow every command due to fearing for their safety. It helps make the serial feel like a more unique adventure compared to past ones with The Daleks, adding more life, energy, and intensity to it. The only time I was taken out of the whole thing was this random Christmas special that got inserted halfway through. It distracted from the plot way too long and was filled with jokes that were probably funny VISUALLY and maybe AUDIBLY, but not so much when you’re reading it…like I did. Still, that’s ONE episode in a twelve episode long serial. Being entertained with eleven out of twelve episodes is still a great feat that makes “The Daleks’ Master Plan” a masterclass serial. Now can we go back to actually WATCHING these episodes again?

The Massacre: Guess not…

And this one’s one of the worst, if not THE worst. “The Massacre” has the same problems as “The Crusade.” So much of this serial is focussing on the politics of the historical event taking place, watching these characters you barely give a shit about with the main cast you love getting pushed to the sidelines. Except that while “The Crusade” had the charming cast of THE DOCTOR, Ian, Barbara, and even Vicki, “The Massacre” focuses on Steven. And I’ll get into the specifics in a moment, but I do NOT care for Steven. So to have four episodes focusing on boring historical politics and a character I do not like, it’s pretty easy to pick up why I dislike this serial the most out of all of them. I’m not kidding when I say that the best part about it is the moment where it seemed like Steven was leaving. Before you say anything, it’s not because it gave me hope that Steven was gone for good…Okay, it’s partially because of that, but it’s mostly because of this moment where The Doctor reflects on the people in his life and how he misses them. He even corrects HIMSELF when getting Ian’s last name wrong, showing us that he cares enough to get it right now because he misses his friend. It’s a bittersweet moment that proves how much The Doctor loves each companion they’ve made, even the first few people they’ve met in this first life. It was beautiful…and then it got undercut immediately to introduce Dodo and shove Steven back in as he changed his mind. The one thing I liked about this serial, and it’s ruined by itself. Yeah, this one’s definitely the worst, and I’m not missing it.

The Ark: FINALLY, something I don’t have to READ!

“The Ark” surprised me for a second. I knew going in that it was a four-part-long serial, but by the time Part Two met its end I was confused. It seemed like the story was wrapping up as The Doctor and company cured a ship of the common cold and went off to a new adventure. Only for the TARDIS to appear in the same exact spot many years later with a new problem caused by their actions in the past. Already, I love this premise. We almost never return to the same place twice with The Doctor, where after they save people from this great threat they always head off, assuming everything is fine. This is the first time we actually see what happened to the people that The Doctor saved, only to find out something worse happened to them. It’s a solid premise with good enough execution. I like that this whole thing started with an accident. Dodo just happened to have a cold and didn’t expect the consequences that could come to a species that never experienced it. It puts The Doctor and company in a situation where you don’t BLAME them for what happened but you understand that they have to clean up this mess they caused. I also find it brilliant that the first half of the serial has The Doctor and his companions dealing with rouge Guardians and the second is rouge Monoids, giving this message that both parties aren’t innocent creatures and that peace can only be made when they learn to live together instead of treating one species as slaves. It’s a bit muddled as we don’t really see much of the extent that the Guardians treat the Monoids and how disrespected they are. It gives the idea that the creepy-looking creatures who look different are more at fault, especially since the human Guardians are the ones who assist The Doctor in both halves. There’s never any assistance from the Monoids, which makes it feel like peace might not be the best option. I wouldn’t harp on it if not for the fact that several serials back in “Galaxy 4,” we had the same message of “The ugly ones aren’t evil” with decent results. Still, the idea and meaning is clear as no one’s really, wholly good. Just could have used some cleaning up on showing the good side of the Monoids, making “The Ark” having a strong story ARC.

HAHAHA–Kill me. Next one!

The Celestial Toymaker: All but the last part of this serial is missing, so…onto the transcripts.

I mean it, kill me.

(I don’t actually mean it. Just…been doing this for a while)

This serial introduces The Toymaker, a character that would only reappear once more…fifty-seven years later with the incomparable Niel Patrick Harris playing the role. And speaking as someone who got introduced to this character through NPH doing random accents and a random ass dance sequence to “Spice Up Your Life,” I wasn’t sure what to expect from the version in the sixties. Turns out, while he’s not as bombastic and jovial as Niel Patrick Harris, The Toymaker is still the most unique villain that The Doctor and others have come across so far. The Doctor isn’t kidding when he says that The Toymaker loves using people as his playthings, sending out dolls, board games, playing cards, and all sorts of other traps to entertain himself with The Doctor and his companions. And while Steven and Dodo aren’t the best duo in the world,, they’re at least paired up with despicable and hilariously incompetent antagonists as The Toymaker sends out his toys against them. You’re entertained by them, but at the same time you feel bad for them when they fail because they’re all trapped souls captured by The Toymaker. Or are they? The serial cleverly keeps you guessing whether or not these toys were once people, leaving it up to interpretation on if it’s all a part of a trick he’s playing. It adds a bit of tragedy to the goofs and gags, which I certainly appreciate. Then you have The Doctor’s game with The Toymaker that adds intensity, as he’s trying his best to stall to win the game until Steven and Dodo find the TARDIS. And, sure, I would have loved MORE to actually SEE The Doctor beat The Toymaker in a battle of wits as opposed to watching Steven and Dodo going through a goofy, silly adventure, I’m not complaining too much for the end result. “The Celestial Toymaker” is still an incredibly entertaining serial that has every character working well together to survive and being competent as they win their own game. Although, I do have to call nonsense towards Fourteen in “The Giggle.” Saying that cheating is the last thing The Toymaker would do when that’s all he does in this serial…Nonsense.

The Gunfighters: This serial finds the characters in a wild, wild west adventure, and this one’s definitely meant to be a more entertaining ride rather than an epic adventure with huge stakes. You’ve got fun stuff like Steven being forced to sing at gunpoint, an outlaw playing dentist as he rips out The Doctor’s tooth, Dodo fainting as she attempts to hold a man at gunpoint, and British people trying to do western accents. It’s definitely a good time, but it also feels like the writers leaned too hard into this being a western. All the tropes and cliches seem present and it’s definitely enjoyable, but it doesn’t feel like a Doctor Who story. The characters are pretty much in the background as we follow the narrative threads of these outlaws and a sheriff. Sure, they’re entertaining as well and don’t make the serial drag like “The Crusade” and “The Massacre” did, but at the cost of abandoning who we really follow this series for: The Doctor and his companions. What’s crazy is that ten (eleven?) regenerations later, The Doctor would go on another wild west adventure, facing down a space robot playing bounty hunter as The Doctor protects a town that’s inexperienced with this kind of threat. Not only does that episode have a concept that works perfectly for this show but it makes the story revolve around The Doctor and his companions trying to save this town. In “The Gunfighters,” The Doctor and company are pretty much absent for most of the story, either being dragged along by characters with more narrative importance, or stepping out of the entire climax. And yes, there are instances when the show follows random characters for the entirety of a story, but that’s still done in a way that it feels like it matches the show. Like how in “Mission of the Unknown,” where we follow characters trying desperately to stop The Daleks. Goofy or intense sci-fi nonsense and seeing The Doctor and co. reacting to history is what makes Doctor Who one of the most engaging science fiction shows ever made. While a western can be entertaining, something like “The Gunfighters” tends to make you forget what show you’re watching.

The Savages: Deleted. And a shame too, because this is another good one. The concept of this civilized society using living people as an energy source is already chilling, and the serial does well in showing how messed up it is for the supposed Savages. Though, if this was written in Modern Doctor Who, I feel like  the results of this power draining would be MUCH darker. Especially if Steven Moffat wrote the episode (The sick bastard). As is, it’s still great with how they made the power draining as dark as it could be for the sixties, all while adding a classist message that still manages to work NOW with its themes of the high and mighty sucking the life of what they think is savage. I love it and I also adore how The Doctor quickly picked up on how sick this whole idea is, wanting to shut the whole thing down immediately. THAT’S The Doctor I know, and it’s pretty fun that what saved the day is their leader taking some of The Doctor’s essence. Even when temporarily beaten, The Doctor still wins.

It’s all pretty great, but do you wanna know what’s better? STEVEN! IS! GONE!

Again, I’ll get to WHY later, but I am so glad to see Steven go. He wasn’t really the best companion out there and it is pretty nice that in his last adventure with The Doctor it’s all about Steven finally learning how to be useful. It’s to better sell that he’d be a capable leader to these people and…under his leadership, they’d probably die, but I can take it. Seeing Steven gone makes me willing to accept any nonsense of making him a leader and it’s nice that the show lets him leave with dignity. Even with the worst companions, it’s great the show at least treats them as people and lets ones like Steven leave happy enough instead of injecting him out the airlock or something. His departure is very welcomed and makes this serial stand out a little higher.

The War Machines: The final serial available on Tubi, and it’s…alright? Yeah, I honestly have no strong feelings one way or the other towards this one. The premise itself is what I love to see in Doctor Who, as this machine meant to help humanity ends up wanting to conquer it, with The Doctor being a key factor in securing the victory only to become the machine’s downfall. It’s all decent enough, with actors doing well at portraying these disturbingly obedient human puppets and there being some impressive puppetry on display with WANTON’s war machines. But as decent as it all is, none of it really WOWED me. The techno babble that The Doctor used to explain how he outsmarted and bested the war machines lost me due to how convoluted it was. Same goes for how WANTON was able to hypnotize human beings. I don’t even know if it was ever explained because of how much non-scientific science was thrown in this entire serial. It’s the central part of this entire premise, and it makes little sense how a computer was able to hypnotize anyone, even if it was supposedly advanced.

Another thing that bothers me about this serial is that this is supposed to be Dodo’s exit. She’s out for half the adventure and doesn’t even get to say goodbye in person. She just takes a nap, lets her replacements do most of the work, and then she’s gone for good. It feels cheap and gives her the weakest exit out of any companion in this run. Possibly the weakest exit ever. It’s another little aspect that makes the serial not BAD but not outstanding, either.

The Smugglers: Not much to say about this one. Just a fast romp as The Doctor and his companions fend off pirates in their hunt for a legendary treasure. It drags a little bit and there’s a lot of flip-flopping in terms of certain characters’ loyalty, but it has some fun moments, like The Doctor outsmarting opponents and Ben and Polly proving their worth as companions fairly quickly. Not a spectacular adventure, but entertaining enough.

The Tenth Planet: Here it is. The final serial in the First Doctor’s run…And it’s incomplete.

Yeah, the final adventure with William Hartnell’s Doctor, and you can’t see it in its entirety. You can watch the first three parts, but the fourth? Not a chance. It’s quite disappointing and, you know what? If I could cheat with his first adventure, I can cheat with his last. Let’s use “other means” than Tubi to watch those first three episodes and read what happens next.

And I’ll just say…it’s ALMOST perfect. It has a STRONG premise, introducing the Cybermen, a longtime enemy of The Doctor. It was so fascinating to see how humanlike these monsters began, moving and speaking like everyday men just with a slight robotic lean to it. It actually makes the more robotic, emotionless Cybermen more chilling in the modern age as it now becomes clear that the Cybermen perfected their goal to be more robot than human. The serial also cleverly makes it where the Cybermen aren’t the ONLY threat. I truly love that the bitter and impulsive General Cutler is just as much of an antagonist as the Cybermen are, with his desire to kill them before they kill Earth being potentially more damaging if he ever got away with his plans. It goes along with a recurring theme of this show in the modern age where those who try to be the victor in an unnecessary war tend to destroy themselves. Cutler dies because he attracted Cybermen attention with the warhead and the Cybermen die because their planet burned up when they could have asked for assistance with their problem instead of destroying the Earth for survival. It’s handled really well, with Polly and Ben still continuing to be useful additions to the cast as they do all they can to stop both Cutler and the Cybermen. Mainly because they have to with The Doctor checking out for when things get their most deadly.

Speaking of, the one thing that holds the serial back is The First Doctor’s exit. This was his final adventure, and he doesn’t do much aside from telling people what to do and taking a nap. By the time his regeneration begins, it all goes by so fast that it feels like he’s being rushed out the door. In a way…he kind of is. Due to age catching up with him, William Hartnell was forced to leave the show because his memory problems and exhaustion were getting difficult to film around. So now they had to get him out of the show for his own good, all while making one last serial as a final goodbye to this actor. However, it doesn’t change how…off his farewell feels. He’s not the triumphant hero who stopped The Cybermen and he didn’t get any final words to make his goodbye feel haunting or bittersweet. Future Doctors got this chance, even ones who decided to leave on their own accord like David Tennant or Matt Smith. It’s actually kind of sad that William Hartnel didn’t get the same treatment and that the writers would only learn their lesson for FUTURE generations. His flawed departure is the one thing that holds back what is admittedly a well-made serial.

And that’s it. That’s the last adventure with The First Doctor. But before I talk about my overall thoughts with this man, I should first discuss some other characters. Characters who are important to any Doctor no matter WHO (haha) they are…

THE COMPANIONS

Doctor Who would not be the show that it is without the companions. They’re frequently the audience surrogates, experiencing new adventures alongside The Doctor while assisting them across space and time. One thing that Chris Chibnall did correctly is point out that the companions are the true power of The Doctor and are worth talking about within the same breath. However, it DOES get a little tricky on who’s considered a companion or not. And trust me when I say it’ll get trickier as time goes on. So, for the sake of sanity, I’ll say that a companion is a recurring character who travels with The Doctor in the TARDIS and is there for more than one episode (Or serial, in this case). With those rules that I’ll probably break in the future out of the way, let’s begin with each companion as they left us.

Susan: I have…complicated feelings towards Susan. She had great chemistry within the group, did well as the wide-eyed, naive child who was excited for everything, and I was truly sad to see her go…But while my heart was sad, my ears were eternally grateful.

Yeah, as sweet a character as Susan is, she wouldn’t. Stop. F**KING. SCREAMING. Every time danger happened, she would always go, “AH! AH! GRANDFATHER! IAN! BARBARA! AH-AH!” Everytime. And when Susan was part of the group, having fun with them, being just as silly as the others, THAT’S when Susan worked. She was “The Young One,” acting as someone who the others would look after but still treat with respect as they knew Susan was capable of so much more than SCREAMING. As a member of the group, Susan worked great. As someone who could face danger…Let’s just say that my ears will be bleeding less now that she’s gone.

Ian: It’s weird that a college professor has more of a hero’s heart than the titular character of our show, but I’m not entirely complaining. Ian was a solid companion, willing to take charge for the sake of the group and having some great interactions with The Doctor. You could tell he wanted to strangle the old man, but also enjoyed The Doctor’s company as they shared a similar spirit. They both consider themselves leaders of the party and find conflict when one has an idea they believe is better than the other’s. After a while, they learn to work together and you feel that trust they have thanks to them realizing they’re basically the same kind of men who want the same kind of things. It DOES tend to feel that Ian steals the show at times, but it doesn’t change how much of an entertaining and perhaps even inspiring character Ian can be. He went through so much for The Doctor and the others, being the hero that they need and being charming as hell when doing it.

Barbara: Barbara’s sort of the character that has a well-defined relationship with everyone in the TARDIS. She’s a supportive, motherly figure to Susan and Vicki, treating them with respect while calming them down during intense times. With Ian, she’s a good friend and ONLY a friend. I’m actually glad that she was never forced into a love-interest role with him. There were so many moments where that could have been a possibility with how often those two are paired together, but it’s nice that they remained as close friends who can rely and help one another when the time comes. Not every man and woman needs to end up dating in the end. As for how Barbara is with The Doctor, where Ian and The Doctor are the same in a goal-driven level, The Doctor and Barbara are the same through an INTELLECTUAL one. They often share the same kind of thoughts and curiosity for each adventure they go on, and when they argue, you can tell it’s between two people who are of the same mind but with different opinions. It’s done well and I appreciate seeing these two interact the most. I also appreciate that Barbara stood strong in the face of danger, being just as valuable of a helping hand as the others are and not being a damsel in distress. Sure, she was like that SOMETIMES, but for the sixties this was likely the most independent a woman could get on television. Barbara was a strong character, and likely my favorite amongst the original companions.

Vicki: I was very worried that Vicki was going to turn out to be Susan 2.0, and in a lot of ways, she is. She was very much the young one who was commonly paired up with The Doctor or Barbara as she oozed with childish naivety. Even her exit was nearly identical to Susan’s, except that Susan’s was handled better because The Doctor at least said goodbye. Still, while very similar to Susan, there were some things that I did like a little more with Vicki. For one, she didn’t scream as much…thank FRICK! And two, she was a bit more proactive. Instead of screaming for Ian, Barabara, and The Doctor, Vicki found solutions herself and was frequently the one who helped save the day. I appreciate that, as it helps set her apart more from Susan and gives fans a different kind of naive character that’s endearing in her OWN way. I will say that it feels weird that The Doctor treats Vicki with more respect than his actual GRANDDAUGHTER at times, but this one isn’t screaming too often, so I don’t blame him. Vicki’s a little too much the same, but in some ways, I’d definitely say she’s a bit of an improvement, as mean as it is to admit.

Katarina: Does she count? She doesn’t really go past a single serial…Aw, screw it. She traveled in the TARDIS and helped the group for some time. I’ll say she counts.

And there’s not much to say about Katarina. She was along for the ride for such a short time, not really given a chance to stand out between the young characters like Susan or Vicki. There is this bit of naivety due to her seeing technology for the first time and mistaking The Doctor as a god, but there’s not enough time to develop that idea further and show her capabilities. I will say, though, that she gets the DARKEST exit of any companion I’ve seen. It’s sudden and unceremonious, dying because of some stupid maniac trying to escape his personal Hell. What’s worse is that it’s left to interpretation as to whether or not her death was an accident. Because she was from the distant past and had no knowledge of technology or buttons, it’s unknown if she sacrificed herself to stop the others from going back to The Daleks or because she didn’t know what button opened the door. A character that got to see the universe for the first time, thinking she was a part of something perfect, only to die in an unpredictable circumstance. She had a short amount of time, but I’m with The Doctor. I hope she found that perfection.

Steven: I. Do. NOT care for Steven. It feels like the writers were trying to make him Ian’s replacement as the heroic figure that was often at odds with The Doctor. Except that Steven is very much NOT that. He’s more like this bumbling buffoon who caused more problems as he constantly needed to be rescued by The Doctor and even Vicki at times. The very SECOND that proves how useless he could be was during his introduction when he ran to get back his teddy bear during a grueling escape from The Daleks. You COULD make the argument that the writers wanted to slowly develop Steven into a more heroic character, but there was barely any progression with him constantly being the butt of every joke. The only time he felt useful was during his last appearance, which I can appreciate. Again, they let him leave with some dignity intact and I’m grateful that he and The Doctor left on good terms. The two of them had a lot of one-on-one times with Steven having a great amount of trust towards The Doctor despite the constant jabs The Doctor gave. The Doctor admires every companion he lets tag along, and I love that it’s no different with Steven, even if I was more glad to see him gone.

Dodo: I…am incredibly indifferent towards Dodo. I don’t HATE her, I guess I could say that. She never really made my ears bleed like Susan did, but, at the same time, she wasn’t really the most useful companion. Dodo was either a damsel for The Doctor to save or someone that CAUSED a problem instead of leading to a solution. In a way, she’s more of what I expected Vicki to be: A downgrade rather than an upgrade who never really got a chance to shine as a worthy member of the group. Even Steven seemed more proactive than her, and that is a crime. And I’m pretty sure even the writers weren’t sure what to do with her either, given how they just…kicked Dodo out of the series without any proper exit. If Steven could get a proper ending, then so could Dodo. Regardless, I wouldn’t exactly say I’m going to miss her. Not too much, anyway. I didn’t mind her existence in the show, but I won’t lose sleep with her being gone. Sorry.

Ben and Polly: Yeah, might as well lump these two together. They weren’t on this run for long, and I assume they’ll be more dynamic characters when we talk about Number Two. For now, I’ll say that they’re fairly useful, saving the day with cunning and bravery. I wish Ben was a LITTLE less whiny and Polly a lot less of a damsel, but who knows? Maybe they’ll improve with The Second Doctor.

But that’s enough with the companions. Let’s finally talk about the man who started it all…

THE DOCTOR

The Doctor, no matter the iteration, is one of my favorite fictional characters. I ADORE a character who solves problems through wit, prefers not to use violence but will if pushed to their limits, and is the kindest being in the universe who will also destroy you if you hurt anyone they love. The Doctor is a being of many contradictions, who’s personality may fluctuate throughout the generations but still, at their core, is a caring being who won’t let ANYTHING stop them from doing what’s right.

…So to see The Doctor start off as this old fart who constantly complains while everyone does everything, causes problems for others, and sometimes cowardly bends to the will of enemies was a definite SHOCK to the system. The Doctor did NOT start out as the nobel hero I know them now as. It was actually kind of frustrating to see him stand off to the side while Ian took charge of everything. THIS would be the person who defeated countless enemies all over the universe? The person who sets out to save lives and regrets the ones they lost? That all started with someone who purposely trapped him and his companions on a distant planet just so they could explore? I couldn’t believe it, but thankfully the writers knew this neat little trick to storytelling: Character development.

Slowly but surely, The First Doctor does become more and more like the character I now adore. He fought Daleks after knowing how dangerous they are, weeped for the friends he had to let go, and outsmarted enemies rather than overpower them. He even gained The Doctor’s silliness and sense of humor. Just look at his grin as he scared enemies off after pretending to be a Dalek. The man relished in the chaos he brought, and it was fun to see…Except when he got giddy for being the one who caused Rome to burn down to the ground. Still have no idea what that was about.

Now, things weren’t always perfect. The First Doctor, while improved over time, still never became the heroic badass I know him NOW as, relying on his companions to do most of the work while he’s off having his own fun. Still, that’s where him being the FIRST comes into play. I can absolutely buy that it would take a few regenerations before he became The Doctor I know and love. As is, I’ll say that The First Doctor is an interesting, albeit off-putting, look into what The Doctor USED to be. It wasn’t always good, but I had my fun and I’ll miss this goofy old man.

And with that, we close off The First Doctor’s run. Most of it was fun, a lot was more dull than I expected it to be, and there were both good and bad surprises given to me through this journey into The First Doctor's adventures. It was great to finally see how this show I love started out, and it’s only the beginning from here. Tune in next time when it’s out with the old and in with the…significantly less old as we talk about The Second Doctor’s run.

[7grandmel]

Todays rip: 07/03/2024

Mr. 2​.​718281828459045235360287471352662497757247093699959574966967627724076630353547594571382178525166427427466391932003059921817413596629043572900334295260595630738132328627943490763233829880753195251019011573834187930702154089149934884167509244761460668082264800168477411853742345442

Season 6 Featured on: SiIvaGunner's Highest Quality Rips: Volume FF

Ripped by The Green Spy

I'm forever going to be mad that I missed the chance to post this rip on February 7th (2.7) instead of Battle Emergency...but hey, 3.7 is pretty close to e as well, isn't it? Also, formal congratulations to the longest-yet title of a rip to be featured on the blog, up against stiff competition like The expanse of meme in past was split, A fiendish trap has now been set; Behind a tree the villains sit, Terror of sport, the Robbie's Net. and If I chopped Pikachu up in a meat grinder, and the only thing that comes out and is left of him is his eyeball, he's PROBABLY dead. Nay, I say, today's rip stands head and shoulders above them both! Today's rip, is Mr. 2​.​718281828459045235360287471352662497757247093699959574966967627724076630353547594571382178525166427427466391932003059921817413596629043572900334295260595630738132328627943490763233829880753195251019011573834187930702154089149934884167509244761460668082264800168477411853742345442.

Setting aside the absurdity of the title for a moment though, there is some really fun stuff to dig into with this rip. You may recall, be it through having kept up with the blog or just being aware of SiIva's most well-remember rips in general, one of MtH's finest works in 【＝３】e-MUNO Disco (vs. 音MAD AGENT) - a Season 2 rip that I think permanently altered the way my brain functions in some way by being my first-ever exposure to Yousuke Yasui's music. Yet sitting amidst the primary jokes in that rip, be it "Minecraft With Gadget" as part of the Inspector Gadget takeover, as well as other then-relevant sources such as Rock My Forum of LAST YTPMV​^​2 OF 2016 fame and the greatest French rapper of our lifetime, there was one quite bizarre source - "e", by the math education YouTube channel Numberphile.

Numberphile's channel itself is incredibly wholesome and useful, and the people contributing to it like James Grime have a genuinely excellent knack for explaining and demonstrating complex concepts in a concise yet wholly understandable way. Their output isn't exactly something you'd think of as memetic - that is, of course, with the exception of the video featuring the funniest thumbnail ever put onto YouTube: e (Euler's Number) - Numberphile. It was simply a perfect storm: the rise in the use of "e" as part of deepfried ironic shitposting of the mid-2010s, the absurd enthusiasm James Grime shows in both the thumbnail and the video's introduction, the eloquence of which he explains the meaning of this silly letter. It only first showed up on SiIvaGunner itself during the start of Season 2, with the aptly titled rip "e", and became sort of a sleeper hit gag during the Season: hell, during this year's SiIvaGunner MAGFest panel, channel manager MtH confirmed that e is still one of her all-time favorite channel memes. And, yeah: its funny factor is shown to great effect in (brace yourselves!) Mr. 2​.​718281828459045235360287471352662497757247093699959574966967627724076630353547594571382178525166427427466391932003059921817413596629043572900334295260595630738132328627943490763233829880753195251019011573834187930702154089149934884167509244761460668082264800168477411853742345442.

You take a source as prime for YTPMV-ing, sentence mixing and pitch shifting as the original Numberphile video, and attach it to perhaps the greatest YTPMV song of all time in Mr. Patch from Banjo-Tooie (Mr. PACs ~ Obamjo-Roomnie, anyone?), and the result is almost destined to be gold. Putting a source so reliant on making out what the narrator is saying together with a song infamous for its hectic tempo may well have been the biggest challenge preventing a rip like this from having been made, but let us not forget that this is The Green Spy we're dealing with here. And if there's anything I've gathered about The Green Spy as an anonymous contributor through their rips alone, rips like (YTPMV) Bob​-​Omb Battlesources and ESPECIALLY Mad Mew Mew Becoming Uncanny, its that they truly know their stuff about YTPMVs.

The added visuals is just the cherry on top of it all. Though its standard for YTPMVs off of SiIva, and occasionally even on the channel itself such as with Crompton Racing, the visuals on Mr. 2​.​718281828459045235360287471352662497757247093699959574966967627724076630353547594571382178525166427427466391932003059921817413596629043572900334295260595630738132328627943490763233829880753195251019011573834187930702154089149934884167509244761460668082264800168477411853742345442 are so effective at punctuating every little surprise and detail made to the rip. Be it the surprise appearance of Jack Black's famous "dick!" sample, the brief change to suddenly start listing the number One repeatedly instead of the sequence of numbers that define the joke (and the title!), the uses of "e" from the fonts of WarioWare Smooth Moves, feature in the aforementioned first appearance of Numberphile on SiIva...while the joke hasn't been featured all too frequently on SiIva as of late, its rips like this that make the joke's reappearance always feel triumphant - its the kind of source you have to WORK for to make funny, and The Green Spy pulls it off with absolute aplomb.

[mistresslrigtar]

WIP Wednesday! (coming in August?!)

Love is Forever - a modern au

When she reaches the top, a sign by the door covered with a tattered blanket reads ‘No girls allowed - that means you, Ayll!’ Zelda snickers and looks down at Link. “That’s so mean.”

He gives her a crooked grin that makes her heart flutter like a trapped butterfly in her chest. “Never said I was a ‘nice’ guy, Zel.”

She shakes her head (despite all outward appearances, they both know he is) as she pulls the blanket aside and steps into the dim space. It smells musty, as if no one has set foot inside in several years. An old Sheikah camp lantern sits in the middle of a wooden spool table, and a couple of faded bean bag chairs are shoved against the far wall, beneath a window looking out on the woods beyond. A moth-eaten butterfly net and a child's fishing pole lean in a corner.

Link picks up the lantern and flips it over. He presses a button on the bottom and it flickers to life, emitting a wan bluish glow.

“Surprised this thing still works.” He sets it back on the table before flopping into one of the chairs. A cloud of dust rises around him and he coughs, waving his hand in front of his face. “This place has seen better days.”

“It’s darling.” She spots a small wooden sword and shield tossed haphazardly on the floor beneath a yellowed piece of paper tacked to the wall by the window. Recognizing Link’s messy penmanship, albeit much more illegible in the childish scrawl, Zelda moves closer to get a better look.

[bluemidnightmelody]

lover/fighter - my favorite moments

[Little snippets from my Finnick/OC longfic that are stuck in my head]

From Chapter 50 - Love is a tough business

As they walk along the docks, where the fishermen sell their fresh catch just after they've brought it off the boat, she's so busy questioning her own feelings that she doesn't even notice the familiar face.

"Well, well, prominent visitors. The way you've been seen sneaking around here lately, I'd almost think you didn't like it in the Capitol anymore." Kip sets down the crate he has just carried next to the others on the dock and scrutinizes the duo in front of him with a mixture of curiosity and critical appraisal.

"I, for one, still live here," Finnick replies immediately, with a slightly challenging tone but the usual confident grin on his face.

"Really? I almost didn't notice," Kip replies a little teasingly. The energy between the two of them can only be described as playfully combative and, to be honest, it reminds Rhea a lot of Mirella's children, pubescent boys who always have to stand up to each other, just on principle. "And what about you?" he turns to her, somewhat amused.

Rhea thinks for a moment and laughs a little. "Well, I won't deny that I like it here very much," she replies.

This earns her a deep, hearty laugh from Kip, and he gives her a companionable pat on the shoulder. "Fine, fine, at least you're honest," he grumbles back.

"How's the arm?" she then asks, remembering their first encounter. Thinking about it, she is glad that he seems to have had enough of testing her steadfastness, because this time he makes a friendlier impression right from the start and saves himself the intimidation attempts.

"Unnecessary question, I'm fine. You caught me in a tiny moment of weakness, but that only happens to me once a century, right?" Kip announces firmly.

Rhea smiles a little wryly and replies, "Sure, you're all super tough guys here, my bad." To be honest, she wouldn't have expected any other answer. Even if she still finds the attitude of the people here a little strange at times, she is slowly getting used to it, and admittedly such an attitude is probably necessary in the districts to a certain extent.

Finnick observes the meeting with interest and amusement. "Sometimes I forget that you probably know half the village by now. However, it still makes me sad that I wasn't able to witness your first meeting. I really would have liked to have seen that," he comments with a sassy little grin at Kip.

He puts on his grim face again and grumbles, "I can't believe you're still the same cheeky little brat you used to be. No wait, I liked you better then than I do now. At least you were good at knotting nets, now you're just annoying."

"How mean. Is that any way to talk to paying customers?" Finnick teases him back.

Kip snorts and raises his eyebrows. "You don't have to come up with that until you've actually bought something."

Men. It's almost as if they're all bound by a curse that forces them to retain the mind of a child who is then trapped in an aging body forever and ever. Rhea has to smile at the thought, but it's not untrue, it's a phenomenon she's seen in pretty much every guy she knows. With some it is less pronounced than with others, but even with Linus she has seen it when certain circumstances are met.

"Then offer me something," Finnick laughs playfully before his expression turns to a sinister grin. "But it'll have to be something good to keep Rhea from devouring me instead," he adds, giving her an amused, suggestive glance.

He's doing it again. As meek as his character may be, at least a small part of him seems to enjoy making her suffer like this and Rhea regrets that she has let him get away with it so far. He really is like a child testing his limits to see how far he can go and is bold enough to use her own words against her.

The fact that she can now hear the fishermen from Kip's crew, who were busy unloading the catch during their conversation, laughing around her makes it even worse. What is this fool thinking? The heat is suddenly unbearable, and she finds herself unable to utter a word in her defense.

"O merciful sea," Kip groans with a roll of his eyes. "Get a room."

This bursts the bubble and Rhea forces herself to wipe the pout off her face. "Give me that!" she orders grumpily, holding out her hand and pointing to the bag of groceries Finnick is carrying over his shoulder.

He stops grinning, but a slight smile remains as he looks at her with an innocent expression. "Don't make that face, I'm only joking," he says placatingly.

Rhea scrunches her eyebrows together and punishes him with a sharp look. "Give me that," she growls impatiently.

He raises his arms in resignation and does as she says. With a sigh, he begins, "Come on, I really am sorr - Hey!" His remorse comes too late, because after that all you can hear is the loud splashing and peals of laughter from the fishermen in sight, echoing across the water like thunder.

The feeling of sweet gratification more than makes up for the previous humiliation. She would have thought it would be harder, but apparently, she had the element of surprise on her side. He probably hadn't expected her to actually try something like this, which made it much easier to push him off the wooden walkway. Had he seen it coming, she probably wouldn't have stood a chance, but the feeling of having toppled a giant as a rather weak individual is even more rewarding.

She stops at the edge of the dock and looks down at him with satisfaction as he sticks his head out of the water and brushes his wet hair out of his face. "Seriously?" is all he can get out, bewilderment and a small hint of amusement on his face.

Rhea would love to have captured this image for eternity so that she can remind him of this moment whenever he tries to embarrass her again, because she doesn't imagine that he won't try again at some point. But from now on it is officially a game for two and she gets in with a strong move.

"I think you've been out in the sun for too long. Looked to me like you really needed to cool off," she says with a gleeful grin, slinging the bag over her shoulder that she wisely saved from the water. "Remember to bring the fish for tonight when you're done with it," she adds, and with a farewell wave to Kip, she strolls back across the dock to the quay.

It takes Finnick a few seconds to process everything, then he involuntarily starts chuckling, which quickly turns into uncontrollable laughter. Luckily, he's practically born to swim, otherwise he might end up sinking now, the way he's convulsing with laughter. But he quickly forces himself to catch himself before she disappears out of sight, calling after her, "Whatever you want, sweetheart."

From down there, he can just barely see her pause in response and cast a brief, restrained glance back over her shoulder. There is little sign of her air of self-assurance left and instead the slightly pouty expression is back along with the red color that adorns her cheeks. But he only has a brief moment before she turns around and continues walking.

Suddenly the cooling actually feels good. Finnick shakes his head and lets out a snort of disbelief and amusement. Then he glances up, where Kip is eyeing him, arms crossed and full of unveiled glee. "Can you maybe help me out of here?" he asks him encouragingly.

Kip pretends to think for a moment, shrugs his shoulders and then replies coolly, "I don't think so."

"You've got to be kidding me," Finnick snorts, stunned, but Kip has already turned his attention back to his fish. He is left with no choice but to fight his way back up to the top by himself, which is not so easy with the wet, slippery wooden beams that barely offer any foothold. The alternative would be to swim back to the harbor wall and climb out of the water, but he doesn't want to put on this show for the people unless he really has to.

Links to all the chapters: lover/fighter - Chapter Index

fanfiction on ao3 and wattpad

[peachymilkandcream]

Ready or Not|Part 4|Yandere Levi x Evelyn

(A/N: Hope you enjoy and comment to be added to the taglist!)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc

==============================================

Days of torture had proved fruitless when it came to finding his beloved's whereabouts. Strecker had proved quite the stubborn woman, despite the master torturer that Levi was she wouldn't budge in the slightest. All of his horrors taken without so much as a sound.

It infuriated him.

He was running out of time, the longer she was gone the more chance she had to slip past his nets and get away from him forever. Perhaps even now she was being seduced by another man, determined to take Levi's place in her life. Raise his children and undo everything he had worked so hard for.

No, he couldn't think of that now, he'd go crazy with worry.

All other avenues had been exhausted, Erwin had sent countless troops out to question and find her but to no avail. Anyone who would have seen her the day of her disappearance either didn't know where she went or refused to say.

Deep down Levi understood, Erwin had to be careful too. The last thing he wanted to come out is the Commander of the military was threatening and torturing civilians to find one girl for the Captain's obsessive desires. Something like that could get them both hung.

The only place he could turn to was the spiritual, most people found comfort in it, and with the reinstating of order and how the walls had saved Eldia, the Order of the Walls was more powerful than ever.

Maybe this is where he would find some moment of peace.

==============================================

Late into the night Levi sat in the pew and waited, waited for something miraculous to happen. Maybe he would receive a divine message telling him exactly where to look for his wife, or some kind of sign he was in the right direction.

But the stained glass and the religious statues remained silent.

He stood, walking to the altar and staring at the image of the three descendants of Ymir named after the walls, Sina, Rose, and Maria. People worshipped these statues as their saviors and guardian angels, why were they silent for him now?

"What have I done to deserve this? You know I am a righteous man, set above and apart, not like those common and weak men who can't manage their own household. Why then does my wife get this spirit of rebellion within her? After I painstakingly broke it down. Is it because she was never meant to be mine?"

Again they remain silent.

"So tell me then, why do I still see her in my mind, in every inch of this world I see my beloved. Every part of her has touched me body and soul, threatening to pull me into the depths of madness." He pulls out one of her embroidered handkerchiefs and holds it up to his nose, breathing in the smell, his only comfort as of late. "It's not my fault. You were the ones who sent me this temptress, what was I supposed to do with her except claim her to be mine?"

A loud silence hangs in the air.

Levi scoffs. "People come to you asking for protection and good fortune. Then how about this, protect me from the traps my wife has put out against me." Anger builds in him as he remembers the betrayal she had done to him. "Destroy her, or let her be mine."

He felt like a fool, talking to a statue as if it were a real person. In a rage he pulled down all of the shrines and artifacts, tearing up everything in his way. How could he have wasted so much precious time talking to himself in these empty walls when he could have been finding his wife?

"Sir-!" The door burst open, causing Levi to stop and face one of his soldiers.

"What do you want that you would risk interrupting me?"

"Mrs. Ackerman sir, I think we found a lead."

His eyebrow raises. "I'll be right there."

Once the soldier closes the door back Levi stares at the crushed statue, both in slight awe and fear at what he had done, before resolve took hold.

"Thank you. I will not waste this chance. I will find her, even if I have to burn down what's left of the world."

Donning his coat, Levi steps out into the pouring rain, thunder illuminating his determined glare. Within the handkerchief he produces the only photo he has of his wife, staring at it with angry and resolve flowing through him.

"Choose me my love, or your demise. If you won't be mine..."

He stares at the soldiers gathered, ready to follow his command.

"You will burn."

[comfy-whumpee]

Safety Net

Whumptober 1: Safety Net. To catch up on where Northlight has been, check out their masterlist.

Northlight taglist - I'm only going to do this to y'all once this month because otherwise it'd be every day! @bloodybrambles, @wildfaewhump, @lektric-whump, @that-one-thespian, @raigash, @whumpywhumper

-

It was late. They didn't know what time, in the eternal bright light of the lab, but almost everyone had gone. The only people still here were Lachlan, who was somewhere under observation from his near-death, and Northlight, who the others claimed wasn't a person at all.

It was never silent in this place. Almost under the range of hearing was the hum of the many machines that kept it such a pale and lifeless place. The many eyes of Caroline were always open, and there would be listening ears as well. Other things, who knew what, were pointed at Northlight's body at all times, and then there were the locks and bolts keeping them behind all those doors, alongside the simpler straps and buckles pinning them to the examination table.

Surrounding it all was their blood, in some form or another, creating a barrier that its original body could not cross, like two matching poles of a magnet forever pushing each other away.

Northlight closed their eyes to grant meagre protection from the overhead light. Head turned to the side, they listened to the hum of the machines, and the clicking buzz of the bulb. They pondered Lachlan, a brave young man despite his terrible choices. An admirable youth of seriously concerning idiocy. His blood still faintly stained the floor.

If only the damn muzzle would be taken off. Constance Irene must have learned that lesson sometime before now. Someone like Lachlan, who was clearly as good as a cadaver to Caroline’s experiments, might have been swayed if they could just talk to him. But instead, they were forced into wordlessness, and they didn't even know if he had heard them crying as he was killed.

The situation felt helpless. They couldn't speak to change it. No moving, no powers. They had never felt more like the mythical body the cult made them. Even all those years between the pillars, they had the understanding of seasons, of night and day, of weather and nature. This building would be the same on the first day and on their thousandth, except that the people hurting them within it would be aged.

Would Lachlan age, now? The blood was meant to give eternal life, but the boy seemed to already be at such risk. He'd been murdered by his boss and watched by a dozen doctors with no sign of help. Surely he would, at some point, be given an injury that Northlight's blood would fail to heal. Irene was hundreds of years old, but she drank much more than the droplets that made her elixir. Lachlan wouldn't be allowed all that. He was here to be hurt. Sooner or later, he'd be treated the same as they were.

The sound of a distant door opening snapped them out of their reverie. Someone was here. Was it Lachlan, wandering in search of comfort? A cultist hoping for an illegal taste of their blood? Perhaps, they allowed the ridiculous thought briefly, it was a rescue. Perhaps it was a hero, a friend, Dahara, or James, or Archer and his team.

Of course not. Nobody knew they were even in this time, let alone in this place. They were trapped in the belly of a sterile beast with blood flowing in its bricks and mortar.

A tall body came into blurry view at the edge of their vision, and they turned in time to see Kurt pass the observation window and enter. He was wearing a plain blue polo and khaki trousers, no lab coat, and this was definitely not a scheduled experiment. Caroline would be here if it was; she was in charge, even of her older brother.

Kurt hesitated in the doorway, face tight. He, like his sister, like many others, had been given Northlight's blood to drink. He was beholden to it for his health, beholden to keeping Irene happy with his work. An illicit visit was jeopardising that.

After a long moment, he stepped inside properly, closing the door. The room was too large, empty without the students in it, and for a moment he seemed like a dinghy adrift at sea. But he came to port at Northlight's side, hands wringing together briefly before reaching out to Northlight as they often had, brushing hair off their face. They were warm and steady, and Northlight fought not to relax at the touch. These moments had kept them grounded while they were hanging from the chains before the lab, the brief visits from the doctor who checked their eyes and forehead. It was a welcome relief.

“I've paused the cameras,” Kurt whispered. His eyes darted behind his glasses. “Lachlan is asleep. He's fine, he's healing – impossibly fast.”

Northlight closed their eyes briefly, relieved despite knowing the price.

Kurt’s hand shook for a moment as he adjusted their hair again, nudging clumps of it back, near-black with grime. “You cried, earlier. When they… During the experiment.” His face was sallow with fear and pre-emptive regret. He took a breath through his teeth, as if flinching before even saying the words: “If I take off the muzzle…will you tell me why?”

Northlight clenched their jaw for a moment, flexing it in the only minute way they could. They nodded.

Kurt’s exhale was shuddered, but his hands moved steadily again, committed. He unbuckled the straps, letting them fall loose before easing the hard plastic away from Northlight’s jaw. It clung to them, refusing to let go of its deep grooves, until Kurt’s gentle fingers pressed their skin free of it in light motions.

He held it there, an inch from Northlight’s face, as his chest heaved with huge breaths. “Tell me,” he urged them, “tell me now or I'll put it back.”

Northlight looked at him. He hadn’t slept. He wasn’t even in pyjamas. He had been awake since the fatal experiment hours ago. He was clearly suffering for it. Perhaps he was afraid of nightmares. Perhaps he was realising that he lived one.

He was a man who needed to believe, they supposed, meeting his wild stare. A man with a big heart, who could be kind and generous, but had sunk so deeply into this cause that he was scared of it being wrong.

Could they bring a man like this to the surface?

“I…” they began, rasped in a scorch of pain that clamped their face like the muzzle itself. They forced onward, the words more air than voice: “I cried because they killed him. She killed him and gambled his life on bringing him back. I cried because he sat still and welcomed death.”

Wide green eyes move between theirs. “You felt sad?”

“I felt g-grief.” They forced a swallow, wincing. “I have seen – death,” they inhaled fire, exhaled smoke, “but this, m-my body used to make s-slaves out of vict-tims… Hh…” The next word was too faint, and they licked their dry lips. “He,” they said, and felt their lip crack with the shape of it, “can't survive without it no-ow. He'll get sick. Weak and fra-agile.”

The effect wasn’t so instant, from what little they knew, but the words had the desired effect. Kurt, predictably, thought of himself first, not Lachlan. And where Lachlan had been given a mixture that was barely pink, Kurt had drunk almost directly from Northlight's open wound. “Sick?” he echoed. “The point is so you don't get sick. People who take it stay healthy, they don't get sick or die, they heal from injuries.”

“At first,” Northlight agreed, nodding their aching head. It felt like their jaw was about to swell shut but they wanted to keep moving it for as long as they could, and that meant talking. “It helps at first. But it comes with its own price. You trade one disease for another.”

Kurt shook his head, not buying it or not wanting to. “I’ve seen it. Seen it used on people long-term. Lachlan's brother has a heart condition, they both do, we kept them alive. His brother had a heart attack, we cured him of the aftermath. We saved his life. We could save it again if he has another, if we’re fast enough. If we have enough.”

“I don’t need his se-secrets.” They had to stop, coughing a puff of painful air. Their face screamed at them for moving it, and they were pulling on their cuffs with the need to hold and massage its tender sides. “It doesn't m-matter. This isn’t…”

They held such power over this man, who had only ever seen what he expected to see. They had to pull the blindfold free.

“Isn’t an argument,” they conclude once they've caught their breath. “My body, my power. You, others… It is an addiction. Without it you rot. How d-do you think your – lady’s s-skin got so grey? Her eyes reddened?”

Staring openly in horror, Kurt’s mouth found the motion to say, “She’s just that old, that…”

“I'm at least as old as h-her,” they whispered. They sucked in a breath, wanting to deliver this with the certainty of an oracle. “You stole magic that wasn’t yours. Your body will reject it. You can only d-delay death, never defeat it.”

“You defeated it,” Kurt objected, then his voice strengthened as he persuaded himself, “You don’t age, you don’t die – you’re lying.”

“I’m not human,” Northlight reminded him bitterly, “you say so yourself—”

“Don’t we have to try?” The interruption stole Northlight’s breath. Kurt’s face was flushed, as if he were on the verge of tears. “Don’t we have to, if there’s any chance, any way to save lives, to stop suffering, even if it brings you pain and misery—”

“Every moment of every day—”

“—your life is only one, and it's never going to end, this is a tiny fragment of your life and we’re trying to save countless people, so why can’t you accept that your power can be for everyone?”

They took a breath to reply, and the feel of it dragging against the sides of their throat told them that their words were numbered. They could move their mouth at last, but they were parched, and the words wouldn't come out for much longer.

They hadn’t had any water to drink since Kurt himself provided it.

“It won’t be a cure.” They swallowed, then had to cough as the sides of their throat closed together with all the gentleness of gnashing teeth. “I don't disagree. I t-take your point, but it isn’t a cure…”

“We’ll find something to stabilise it,” Kurt replied with conviction. “And even if it’s not forever, it’s less pain, less sudden loss… It’s a safety net. It’s choice.”

Nausea shuddered through them. Having a choice about mortality, whether to live a greying, decaying creature or die when the earth calls you? Who would want to become like Irene? Her body was so frail she went nowhere without her aide. She wore makeup and dark glasses to hide the toll on her body. She stayed secluded, terrified of losing what years she had stolen from their veins. She was a husk.

“You d-didn't choose,” they point out, grimacing. “She chose, she – other people – they choose if-f you can…”

“For now,” Kurt tells them with soothing confidence. “Only while we test it. All of us are happy to give our lives, to make you our work. The public will get the completed version. No more death, illness or injury. Happier people, longer lives, less suffering and pain. The whole world will change.”

“A world built on blood.”

“Blood paid on behalf of the rest of the world, to keep them safe. Is that not worthwhile to you?”

Northlight opened their mouth to reply, but their voice only rasped. They mouthed the disavowal instead. No, because this isn’t for them. This is to control them.

It was a useless loop. Any problems with the panacea would be experimented away. Northlight's suffering was too irrelevant to matter. Their leader, the central driving force of the whole cult, was only a half-dead shade of a human because she hadn't been able to refine the elixir as well as they could now.

Pure belief was not related to reality. It could not be debated, argued or disproven. Northlight could not help someone who would never choose to listen. Their voice had given out, but there was nothing left to say.

After a minute, Kurt sighed. “This isn't why I came in,” he admitted. The feverish shine had gone out of his eyes. He seemed tired. “You aren't human? You really seem… But of course not. Your blood…”

Northlight swallowed, even knowing it would hurt, like nails descending their windpipe. They exhaled into a whisper. “Do I have to be human to feel? I have lived and loved among you either way.”

Kurt’s eyes found theirs. He never lingered on the scar that crossed their face, always looking straight into their eyes when he felt the need. Northlight realised, for perhaps the first time, that despite the doctor’s age and qualifications, he truly was the younger of the two of them.

The stare felt like it was sucking them in, dragging them into Kurt’s own mind, and they looked back with both hands clenched.

When it ended, it was because Kurt looked away. He didn't say anything. He only put the muzzle back on and left Northlight alone.