#he wanted out of Adelaide because they were calling him the big show

[fazcinatingblog]

my tireless search of why billy frampton is named "chooka" is not going well

[lulu2992]

If you don't mind and haven't done it before could you show examples of the seeds being interested in the deputy? The only one I really remember is faith talking about the life her and deputy were supposed to have together or something along those lines

In my opinion, there isn’t really indisputable evidence that the Seeds are romantically interested (I assume it’s what you meant) in the Deputy. It’s not that there isn’t anything in the game that suggests they could be or that those ships don’t have potential, but I think it’s a matter of personal interpretation and preference. In short, nothing is certain… but there are “hints”!

To me, Faith and Joseph don’t seem to have this kind of interest in the Deputy; they’re mostly focused on making them see the Project’s truth and join the Family so they can all survive the Collapse. That said, I can see how Faith saying, “I had big dreams for us. Together we could have saved an entire world. We could have shared a life together in the new Eden” can be interpreted in a romantic way. I’ve always thought she meant that more in a “you could have followed the Father and become one of his children too if you weren’t so stubborn” kind of way, but maybe I’m wrong and she was hinting at something and being seductive. She also takes their hands and caresses their cheek, so I suppose that can be seen as flirting.

As for Joseph, he had visions of the future(s) and knows the Deputy is supposed to play a big role in his prophecy, so he wants them alive and hopes they can become one of his followers (which is also why his siblings are so focused on converting them). He makes it very clear that the Deputy is special to him and he’s quite tactile, so even though he’s the Father, calls them “child”, and it’s not how I personally interpret their relationship, I get why his behavior can be seen as an indication that he’s possibly attracted to them.

Out of all the Seeds, I think the one who has the most ambiguous attitude towards the Deputy is John. Sure, he’s primarily interested in catching and converting them because Joseph thinks they’re important, and what John really wants is to impress him, but he then becomes so obsessed with them, so unable to properly function because of them that it’s sometimes… a bit weird. The way he looks at them and talks to them, seems to admire them, or decorates the church for their Atonement... I’ve written about that and so have other people, NPCs in the game talk about John’s strange behavior, and Adelaide and Sharky both draw the same conclusion about it. Whatever his actual feelings are, clearly, they are intense, and it appears the ambiguity was intentional on the developers’ part. But does John become obsessed with the Deputy because he starts developing unexpected romantic feelings for them... or simply because he’s an emotional and relentless individual who won’t rest until his mission is accomplished and Joseph is happy? That’s up to interpretation.

Jacob is way less effusive than his youngest brother, but I think people believe he might be attracted to the Deputy because he too clearly starts developing a personal interest in them that goes beyond what Joseph originally asked of him. NPCs noticed that as well. As much as he tells the Deputy they’re neither special nor strong, he really seems to think they are, and this was even more apparent in some of his deleted lines. He also conditions them using a love song and, just like John, gives them a few nicknames some fans think sound flirtatious in combat/Arcade. So again, there’s no hard evidence that Jacob (or any of his siblings) is romantically interested in the Deputy, but there’s room for speculation!

And they even joked about this on the official Far Cry Twitter account, so there’s that.

[litcityblues]

Doctor Whoquest Part Thirteen: The Whoquest Ends

I can see why they’re bringing back Catherine Tate and David Tennant because the two of them have excellent chemistry. They quickly dispense with any romantic notions between the two and Donna flies off with him and they hit the ground running. Honestly, the ‘One Episode To Consider’ category was probably the toughest to decide for this series, because there are so many strong candidates. You could make an argument for ‘Planet of the Ood’, which fleshes out the squid like, friendly (and sometimes not so friendly) aliens that have shown up over the course of the past couple of seasons. You could make an argument for ‘The Fires of Pompeii’ just because they tie it back to it from Capaldi’s debut episode ‘Deep Breath’ where he realizes he’s seen the face before and wonders why he picked it. (Also, they sort of glide over the face that that sort of implies a Doctor can manifest their regenerations to a degree, which doesn’t explain why they haven’t been ginger yet.)

Rose Tyler is sort of lurking in the background of many episodes- so right away, you pick up on the Russell T. Davis formula of building up to something big– but they also brought back Martha Jones for a three-episode arc, which I liked- even if ‘The Doctor’s Daughter’ was probably the weakest of the three episodes to me. You could argue that maybe that didn’t really give Donna Noble the chance in the spotlight that she deserved, but I also think it worked really well- especially in the end with the three-episode arc of ‘Turn Left’, ‘The Stolen Earth’ and ‘Journey’s End’ really tying up the mythology as they get set for the handoff to the next showrunner- Stephen Moffat.

Three Episodes I Liked

'The Waters of Mars': Rarely, do you see The Doctor go rogue. They come close now and again, but never actually go over the line- until, 'The Waters of Mars.' Lindsey Duncan is great in this episode and the Doctor changes a fixed point in history- or thinks he does, by saving who he can from the first Mars colony that in regular history is destroyed under mysterious circumstances and paves the way for more exploration, including the first faster than light ship to Proxima Centauri. He doesn't want to act, but in the end, he realizes that if he is the last of the Time Lords, then the laws of time are his to command. Lindsey Duncan (well, her character Adelaide Brooke) calls him on his bullshit, and even though he saves three from the Mars base and returns them home anyway, having been told that her death secures her family's legacy of exploration, she goes back in her house and kills herself. It's a bit bleak in tone, but I think it's an interesting take on the character. There's so much the Doctor could do and exploring the idea of 'just because you can, doesn't mean you should' is usually something reserved for Companions and not for the Doctor themselves.

'Silence In The Library/Forest of The Dead': Viewed in the context of River Song's full arc, these episodes are even better than they were when viewed for the first time. The end where he snaps his fingers and opens the doors of the TARDIS-- it's perfect. No notes.

'Turn Left'/'The Stolen Earth'/'Journey's End': 'Turn Left' is a perfect dystopian 'Sliding Doors' that leads into 'The Stolen Earth' and 'Journey's End' which should have been how Tennant went out, in my opinion. It was perfect. Tied up all the mythology and Companions and spin-offs from the first era of the show. It was a big, epic story and even though it, as usual, inevitably involved The Daleks, I didn't mind that. It worked. It worked so, so well.

Two Episodes I Didn't Like

This is going to sound weird, but 'The End of Time': I think 'Journey's End' should have been Tennant's last episode and not this one. It's not that I don't like John Simm as The Master-- his next appearance, which comes in Capaldi's last few episodes is probably his best, but this one was... just okay and more than a little cartoonish for my tastes. 'Journey's End' was the perfect way to send Tennant out. The specials weren't bad, but this feels like a Coda and perhaps an unnecessary one. He went out well, but 'Journey's End' just feels like a more complete finale than this one does to me.

'The Doctor's Daughter': Honestly, I was all about Martha Jones coming back for a few episodes, but this episode was largely 'meh' and Jenny's sacrifice was largely erased by the fact she regenerated and then took off the explore the stars. (On the plus side, this doesn't preclude her from coming back in the future, which would be cool and I didn't know she was the daughter of Fifth Doctor Peter Davison and The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy actress Sandra Dickinson- so that's kind of cool too.) But other than that...

One Episode To Consider

'The Unicorn and The Wasp': 'The Fires of Pompeii' is another good history episode this season, but I like the touch of reality to this one, as Agatha Christie did actually disappear for two weeks back in the 20s and there's still not a good explanation for it and while it probably doesn't involve a Giant Wasp, but I love that Who went after something that actually happened that doesn't have a good explanation even now.

Overall and The Final Rankings: Tennant's final run was excellent. There are not a lot of weak episodes here and while I don't know if Moffat is as committed to the idea of Doctor Who starting out as a children's show as RTD is-- it seems the show--- I don't want to say matures, but maybe grows with it's audience as Moffat takes over? So I have my issues with RTD's run and I'm hoping if he doesn't break out of his formula, he at least shakes it up a bit heading into the new series. I also would dearly, dearly love for them to start digging into six decades of the franchise and start bringing back villains we haven't seen in a while. The Celestial Toymaker hasn't been back for 57 years, so I'm hoping that sets a trend for the new series. Not everything has to end with Daleks and Cyberman.

Tennant and Tate are probably the most dynamic duo of Companions in RTD's run of Nu-Who. They've got great chemistry and they work well together. I love that the Ood gets a bit more character development in the season. I love the trips back to Pompeii and even the Specials aren't that bad. Michelle Ryan is another person I hope shows back up again because she too had good chemistry with the Doctor. Tennant's run helped solidify the show's return, so full credit to him for that and he takes one hell of a final bow at the end of it all- even if the episode wasn't my favorite, his regeneration- "I don't want to go." is probably the best, I think.

In terms of the final rankings, I think it’s hard and I think it’s very subjective. If you grew up watching a certain Doctor they’re probably going to be your favorite and I will always be a Martha Jones Stan, because she was kind of awesome and I liked her as a Companion, but the re-watch and more importantly, the weird, snakelike way I rewatched Nu-Who I think gave me an opportunity to assess each Doctor a bit more fairly as they were spread out somewhat in my watching order. So here’s where I’m leaving it for now:

Capaldi: If Smith brought the fast-paced action and the big epic moments, Capaldi exposed the soul of The Doctor in beautiful ways. From 'Heaven Sent' to 'The World Enough and Time' he may not have the biggest moments in Nu-Who, but he's got some of the best and transcended the franchise and became great moments and great writing in science fiction full stop. He wasn't in my top spot going into this, but he is now.

Smith: It’s the big, epic moments, man. It’s the high energy and the way he can get shouty at people. It’s River Song. It’s Amy and Rory and then Clara Oswald and the build-up to the 50th Anniversary special and Trenzalore.

Tennant: Man, he lands here by a whisker. You could honestly switch him out with Smith if you wanted to, but I think RTD’s overreliance on the Daleks (because if there’s a big baddie in a Tennant season, it’s either going to be the Daleks or maybe the Cybermen or maybe both) annoys me and his formula needs to be shaken up a bit. By the Martha Jones season, episode one, I knew Harold Saxon was going to be doing something dastardly by the end of the season and it’s similar all across the seasons. I think RTD also was very rooted in the idea of Doctor Who being a kid’s show- which works well sometimes but doesn’t other times because you want the stakes to be higher and the danger to be real and sometimes it gets a bit… cartoonish for my liking. But Tennant’s companions are top-notch. He picked up the baton from Eccleston and really firmly established that the show was back for good and you have to give him full credit for that.

Whittaker & Eccleston: I’m putting these two together because Whittaker’s run was not that bad and I appreciate the show taking some big swings, even if they wound up being a bit of a hot mess in the end (“The Flux”)- the writing didn’t land all the time, but she made it work and I think she’ll get a more generous reassessment as time goes on. Eccleston lands here because, well, he only did one Season. If he had done more, maybe we could reassess, but like of quantity makes it really hard to assess his true quality compared to the others.

My Grade: 9/10

[cocochannel00]

Only Wish (This Year)

All Y/n wants for Christmas this year was Harry to be home... so what happens when Harry can’t make it? (a part of the ‘Christmas song fic challenge’)

Word count: 3k Pairing: Harry Styles x reader

A/N: hello my loves! This is my submission for @goldenbluesuit​’s christmas fic challenge, Christmas is literally my favorite holiday of the year and I’m so happy I got a chance to do my first fic writing challenge based on the absolute bop that is Britney Spear’s “Only Wish (This Year)”. If you want to read more great Christmas fics by some amazing writers checkout the Christmas Song Masterlist Here and if you want to read and more of my writing check out My Masterlist Here. I hope you enjoy!! 

"Love I think the tree looks a little crooked"

"No, it's not! It looks fine," you grumbled as you tried to fluff one of the branches that was limping to the left a bit. You had just gone out with Anne yesterday to the Christmas tree farm to get it. The two of you spent nearly two hours walking around the field looking for the perfect tree to put in the living room and after your fingers and toes had officially gone completely numb the two of you gave up and settled for the lanky one in the corner of the field that no one wanted. The tree towered over you quite a bit and had a bit of a tilt, but it reminded you a bit of Harry and this Christmas that was what you wanted, him.

"The reindeer you just hung up is about to fall off, Love" he mumbled from the screen of your computer as he face-timed you from the studio in LA. Rushing over to the left side of the tree, you scooped up the ornament quickly just as it was beginning to slide off of the scrawny branch you had placed it on earlier. As you less than gracefully began to pick yourself off the ground, you heard a wolf whistle come from your husband.

"On second thought, if you keep bending down like that I think I might actually like this tree" Harry stated with a smirk as you gave him the middle finger. "Your mom and I picked it out yesterday cause we thought it looked like you. A little lanky, a little scrawny... looks like he just rolled out of bed" you replied with a laugh.

"I'm going to spare my ego and pretend you didn't just compare your beautiful, loving, and supportive husband to that sad drooping tree you have in the corner."

"(Y/n) is that Harry you're talking to in there? Tell him he better be making it home for Christmas Eve dinner or I'm going to be having a stern talking with Jeff" Anne shouted from the kitchen where she was finishing up some cookies for when Gemma and Michal' today.

You could see the color drain from Harry's face as he scratched the back of his neck. You and Harry have been married now for a little over a year but had been dating for well over three, so you know his every tick and giveaway and when Harry begins to scratch and rub at the back of his neck you know it's bad news.

"I've got this really good chorus started with Mitch, but were still trying to figure out whether-"

"Harry"

"We spent all of yesterday  working through the tracklist and I think I've narrowed it down to-"

"Harry"

"I think I'm going to end the album with the song I wrote on our honeymoon. I tweaked the melody but it's still-"

"Harry" you whispered for the last time before he finally stopped his rambling. You could see him by the way he was avoiding your stare that he didn't want to say the words you both were dreading. He isn't coming home for Christmas. You both knew it was a possibility when he flew out to LA nearly five weeks ago to finish the album before the new year. Despite Harry's offer of having you come to LA with him, your job didn't allow you the luxury of taking off that much time especially during one of your busiest times of the year. You had held out hope that Kid Harpoon and Harry could tie up all of the loose ends ahead of time, but clearly, that wasn't going to happen.

"I tried baby, I really did. There are just too many little things that need to get done here. I promise I'll try and make it back next week, we can have our own little Christmas together in London" he stated trying the lighten his crushing words. This was supposed to be your first Christmas as a married couple together so to say you were disappointed would be an understatement, but you knew that if you let Harry know he would be on the first flight out to London.

"It's ok, we both knew this could happen. I'm sure Anne and I will spend way too much time fussing over Adelaide to even notice you're not here" you replied back trying to lighten the mood a bit more by mentioning Gemma's adorable two-year-old daughter.

"Stop rubbing it in" he joked as Jeff called his name in the background. "I need to get back in before they all have my head for keeping them here past midnight again. I'll try and sneak another call later tonight if you're still up"

"So good, H. I love you"

"I love you too, (Y/n). See you soon" Harry replied back as he hung up. You closed your laptop and continued your quest to finish decorating your slightly distorted Christmas tree. Securing the lights onto the tree had somehow become the hardest part of decorating the tree, so while you were wrapped in a mess of bulbs and strings you didn't even notice Anne come in with two cups of hot chocolate.

"Oh dear let me give you a hand" Anne muttered as she placed the mugs on the coffee table before rushing to your side, delicately untangling you from the lights while placing each string perfectly in its place. You gave her a quick thanks before you walked over to the couch to admire your work.

"He texted me to check up on you, that crazy son of mine. Swear I love him, but sometimes he's got just no sense of priorities. Leaving his wife all alone for the holidays, just not right" Anne said as she passed you a mug and sat down next to you.

"I appreciate you belittling your son on my behave, but reset assured that I am ok. I'm sad we won't be able to spend our first Christmas together as a married couple, but I'm sure we'll have our own little Christmas once he gets back. Besides, I still get the full week off of work and I get to spend time with you and baby Adelaide for the next couple of days and it will be great!"

"Well if you ever need me to put him in his place you let me know, ok sweetheart? Can't have my favorite daughter-in-law feeling upset" she said as she wrapped her arms around you.

"Thanks, Anne" you replied as you gave her a tight squeeze, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Anytime dear. Now quick, turn on channel Hollywood Gossip before Gemma shows up,  she never lets me watch this show. I heard Lily James was spotted with an ex-boyfriend again"

The two of you spend the next hour catching up on some gossip and making lists of everything that still needed to be done before Christmas in two days. If there was one thing you were certain about, it was that you were going to make the most of your situation and try and have the best Christmas possible

**********

It was Christmas eve and you had spent the entire morning cooking and prepping for the large family meal you and Anne were hosting for Gemma and Michal and a couple of close friends. The two of you had been absolutely buzzing and Christmas tunes had been playing throughout the house since you both woke up bright and earlier at 7 am. You had scoured your suitcase for the perfect Christmas outfit but after spending 20 minutes trying on outfits in the and had settled for one of Harry's red cardigans and some dark washed jeans. The smell of the vanilla candle that smelt just like Harry that Anne had left in your room last night made you miss him even more as you finished getting yourself ready just in time to hear the doorbell ring downstairs.

You peeked out the window and saw Gemma and Michal standing at the door with little Adelaide at their feet and quickly ran to the door to greet them. Once you opened the front door a pair of small arms wrapped themselves around your legs as Adalaide screamed your name.

"Well hello, my sweet girl. I missed you so much! Did you miss me?" you asked as she nodded quickly. You picked her up carefully and smothered her face in kisses just as Anne came over to greet everyone.  The five of you made your way out of the foyer and into the kitchen as Gemma wrapped her arms tightly around you and dragged you to the far end of the kitchen.

"Good afternoon my favorite sister. How is the married life treating you? Any surprises I should be worried about this Christmas?" she asked as she stole a Christmas cookie off of one of Anne's various dessert displays.

"It's been very nice, thank you. I don't think you'll be having any surprises from me this Christmas"

"Pitty I was hoping they be able to be in the same class as their cousin could go to school together," she said nonchalantly smirking at you as you stood there confused.

'What do you mean cousins? Adelaide already in day-care and I don't-- Oh my gosh Gemma are you -"

"Shh don't say it out loud, but yes. About eight weeks along, but we haven't told anyone yet. I'm telling you because last time I told you everything went well, so I think you're my good luck charm... and I need you to drink all of the shots Chloe tries to feed me tonight" She mumbled as you laugh and give her a big hug.

"Well congratulations Gem, I wish you both the best. Hey Adelaide, did you know what special person is going to be joining you really soon?" you asked the little girl in your arms as she played with the butterfly necklace Harry had gotten you for your second anniversary together.

"Santa"

"You're right baby Santa is coming tonight. Why don't you help me and Nana Anne finish decorating these last cookies before everyone gets here"

**********

The night was fantastic. After all of the guests had arrived, you all sat down to eat the wonderful roast Anne had been making all day. The room was filled with laughter and smiles as people recounted their most embarrassing Christmas stories. Your favorite was Michal's who as a child got so excited about seeing Santa at the mall that he actually peed on Santa's lap while telling him what he wanted for Christmas. Gemma discreetly slid her shot glass to you numerous times throughout the night and despite the questioning looks coming from Chloe, no one questioned Gemma's excuse of being the designated driver this year. Overall it was by far one of your favorite holiday meals to be a part of, you only wish Harry could have been there to share it with you.

"Me pants are about to explode, but does anyone fancy a little Christmas Eve stroll outside?" Michal asked as he cuddled a sleeping Adelaide to his chest.

There was a chorus of agreements and your large group slowly began to clean up their placemats and prepare themselves for the trek out in the snow. You helped Gemma load the dishwasher as Anne distributed Tupperware for everyone to take leftovers home with them before running upstairs to grab your winter jacket and boots. After everyone was all bundled up, you all headed outside into the snow, Gemma, and Michal leading the way as walked along the sidewalk. You watched the way Gemma placed a snowflake on Adelaide's nose and waited for the little girl to giggle before quickly wiping it off just to do it all over again. You continued to watch the interaction with a yearning in your heart at the thought of having your own kids with Harry and being able to take them on walks and show them ordinary things like snowflakes. Just as you had begun to drift off into your subconscious world Anne came up next to you and wrapped her arms with yours.

"That will be you someday, I can just feel it" Anne stated as she squeezed your hand tight. You gave her a small smile and nodded your head.

"I hope so. Just have to get your son to stay in one spot long enough" you joked as you rubbed your hands together for warmth.

"That man worships the grown you walk on, Love. If you tell him you want kids right now he'll drop everything"

"Hopefully when I get him back next week we can talk about it all a bit more" you replied as Anne nodded her head.

Your walk lasted about a half-hour until Adelaide began to cry saying she was tired and wanted to go to bed. You all preceded to head back into Anne's home for a bit to warm up before everyone would drive back to their respective homes to continue to celebrate their Christmases. Being the busy body that you were, you began to make tea for everyone in the hope of avoiding the dreaded interrogation about Harry and your's relationship that always came towards the end of these gatherings, but it never came. You think Anne must have warned them that you were feeling somewhat sad about Harry not being there because they managed to avoid the topic throughout the rest of the night. Just as the clock struck midnight everyone slowly began to say their goodbyes and exchanging any last-minute gifts that needed to be given. You helped Anne gather everyone's things and waved your last goodbyes before heading into the living room to relax a bit.

"I'm a bit wiped out dear so I think I'm going to head to bed early. Will you be ok here by yourself?" Anne asked cautiously as you scrolled through some pictures Harry had sent you the other day of him at the studio.

"Yes, I think I'll be ok. Have a good night Anne and thank you for a wonderful Christmas"

"No thanks needed dear, you're family now and always will be. I'll see you in the morning".

You waved a quick goodbye as Anne left upstairs to her room. The silence downstairs was only making your feelings of missing Harry worse so you decided to put on the TV and watch a Christmas movie to lift your spirits a bit as you cuddled Harry's picture to your chest. You know he was having Christmas Eve dinner with Jeff's family now and you didn't want to bother him so you decided that you would suck it up and wait until tomorrow to call him and tell him how much you really miss him. All you wanted this Christmas was to have him sitting next to you, sipping on a couple of hot chocolate and making fun of your weirdly patterned socks.

You hoped that flipping through the tv channels would help distract you but the minute you started channel surfing and Love Actually popped up on the screen in front of you, the waterworks began. You cried because you missed Harry. You cried because you didn't get to share all of your happy memories of today with him. You cried because you could cuddle him to sleep and wake up to his delicious scent. There you sat in his childhood home wrapped in a fuzzy blanket crying. You sobbed into the blanket as quietly as you could in the hopes of not waking up Anne and after what felt like an eternity, you finally fell asleep on the couch

*********

You were peacefully asleep on the couch until the sound of music blasting from the kitchen speaker startled you awake. 

“I signed my letter that I sealed with a kiss I sent it off, and just said this...”

"Oh, fucking shit. Stupid fucking Tom calling me at..." you heard as a crash came from the kitchen.

You jumped from your curled up position on the couch and turned around to see where the noise was coming from. As you sank deeper into the couch hoping not to be seen, you saw a silhouette moving around the kitchen searching the drawers. Your pulse began to race as you start to run all of the potential ways in which this intruder could kill you right now. Just as you were about to reach for your phone to call 999, the intruder turned on the light and you saw a familiar head of curly hair.

"Jesus fucking christ Harry nearly gave me a heart attack" you stated as Harry nearly jumped out of his skin.

The two of you stared at each other for a while before you finally processed what was going on. Harry was here. Harry had made it. He was here for Christmas. He came. You all but sprinted off of the couch and launched yourself at him, hearing release gasp as you latched on to his body like a koala.

"Nearly gave me a heart attack there, love" he stated as he wrapped his arms around you and ran his hands through your hair.

"I could say the same thing. Who comes home after midnight and doesn't say anything, especially when said person said many times that they weren't going to be to make it home"

"Wasn't supposed to be home but then mom said you looked upset after our call yesterday so I told Jeff I would finish the rest in the London studio and zoom call any last-minute details. Excited to have me home?" he asked with a smirk.

"No" you stated trying to hide your excitement.

"Come on Love, don't lie to me. I'm excited to be home. Get to spend Christmas with my beautiful, smart, kind, amazing wife.  Get to shower her with gifts. Best Christmas ever"

"Definitely best Christmas ever" you mumbled back as you leaned in and kissed him, savoring the taste of his lips after so long.

"I have one more surprise for you that I think you'll like" he stated as he broke away from the kiss.

"What" you whined as he laughed at you.

"Told Columbia that I'd make the record, but that I'm not releasing it till the end of next year. Want to settle down a bit more, gain more stability in case..." he trailed off as he cheeks turned pink.

"In case what?" you asked innocently even though you knew exactly what he was insinuating.

"In case you want to try for a baby like we talked about on our honeymoon. Said you wanted more stability from me before we started trying so this me giving you that. Don't want to pressure you or anything and this is your choice and I don't- "

"Yes," you whispered.

"Yes?" he questioned before you nodded your head and wrapped your arms around his neck.

Tears appeared in his eyes as he spun you around the kitchen. You laughed as he chanted "baby baby baby" quietly as to not wake Anne but the joy in his expression spoke volumes. You were both ready for this next chapter in your life and whatever happens next, as long as you were together, you knew everything would be ok.

“Hey babe” you whispered as Harry continued to cheer quielty. 

“Yes, Love?”

“Is Britney Spears your ringtone?”

“Maybe... It’s festive!” he defended as you laughed

“Ok love, whatever you say” 

Hope you all enjoyed and happy early Christmas to all who celebrate and a Happy Holidays everyone!!

[flowerpowelltales]

Until You Hate Me (Liam x MC)

PART THREE - THE BEGINNING

A/N: Yes, I do feel ashamed I forgot about this series for TWO years. I also am aware most of you, who have been tagged, dont even remember ever reading this series. If you’d like to be taken off the taglist just let me know because I don’t want to bother anyone. If you want a refresher - it’s the series where Regina pays Riley to be the worst suitor ever so that in two weeks, Liam would have to marry someone Regina picked for him. Previous parts are on my masterlist. Shoutout to the Nonny who motivated me to write this part. Hope y’all enjoy! Characters belong to PB. 

Rating: G

Word count: 1692

Tagging: @gardeningourmet @delightfullypinkglitter @blackcatkita @badchoicesposts @jared2612 @princess-geek @desiree-pow-35-1986​ @emichelle​ @ao719​ @cordoniantrash @kinggliam @needalittlerain @flyawayboo @nazariortega @jlpplays1 @kimmiedoo5 @annekebbphotography​ @ladyangel70​ @eadanga​ @kingliam2019​ @nz1091​ @emceesynonymroll @texaskitten30 @mskaneko​ @custaroonie @drakesensworld​ @janezillow @ritachacha​ @lodberg​ @msjr0119​ @gkittylove99​ @sweatyrysconnoisseur​ @dcbbw​ @potter1-7harry​

“Welcome to Cordonia,” Liam said when the Royal Jet finally landed. He looked at Riley warily as she took in the sights. The flight was a total disaster and made him rethink his whole life. If he hadn’t known better he’d think she wanted to sabotage his mission.

“Looks sick,” she said and Liam sighed.

“Liam, Riley, the car is here. Come before anyone spots us.” Regina nodded towards their driver.

“Whoa, we have our own driver? That’s mad!”

Regina raised an eyebrow in a ‘do-not-overdo-it’ manner but Riley ignored it. For her it was either go hard or go home. Literally, because if she failed she’d go home with no money.

The ride from the private airport to the palace was silent; Riley was admiring the views, Liam was thinking if he made the right choice and Regina was already planning Liam’s wedding to Madeleine.

When they arrived, Regina excused herself and went straight into her office.

“What do you think?” Liam asked politely when they were the only two left.

“It looks so… majestic. Like something I’d expect a palace look like but at the same time like something I wouldn’t expect. It’s gorgeous.”

Liam turned to her stunned by her words. What happened to “sick” and “mad”? Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad, after all.

“Come inside,” he said and extended his hands towards her. She took it and then gasped at the interior.

“It’s so regal and so big and oof—” Riley was almost knocked out by a small, fluffy ball that jumped at her.

“Ah, this is Chance, Maxwell’s dog. He must feel you’re a good person because he is never that happy about strangers.” Liam smiled as he leaned to take her coat. She handed it to him and when Liam walked away to hang it, she bent over to Chance. 

“Hey, buddy! I’m super flattered you like me but can you please bite me or start barking at me so Liam doesn’t think I’m good?” She asked and Chance titled his head in confusion. “You see,” she lowered her voice, “I have a mission to complete.”

When Chace still couldn’t understand, Riley tried to speak his language.

“Woof woof woof woof,” she barked at Chance in low voice.

“Um… is everything okay, lady Riley?” Liam asked, suddenly appearing behind her. Shoot.

“Mhm. Just talking to that cute little muffin. And please, call me Riley. I’m no lady.”

“If you insist. Would you like to see your room?”

“Sure! Does it have a mini fridge? I bet it’s totally dope!”

Liam shook his head in disbelief. Riley changed her mood every few minutes. He couldn’t figure her out. Sometimes she was serious and really fun to talk to but then she changed again and acted like a spoiled teenager.

“Here we are.” Liam motioned the room when they finally reached the guest chamber. “It doesn’t have a mini fridge but you can call any of the staff members to ask for whatever you’d like, anytime.”

“Cool.”

“Ah, Liam! Riley! I am so glad to see you both here!” Regina exclaimed with a smiled on her face. “We have a dinner today with a few of our friends. Liam, please help lady Riley to prepare for it.”

“Of course, Regina. Who are we expecting?” Liam asked.

“Duchess Olivia Nevrakis, Lord Neville, Duchess Adelaide, her daughter and Duke Godfrey, lady Hana Lee and her parents, and a few of the court members.”

Liam nodded politely but started to panic internally. Lord Neville, Godfrey and Adelaide weren’t exactly the first people he wanted Riley to be introduced to. He knew too well how they treated commoners and how awful they could be. He had only about two hours before the dinner to go through the royal protocol, table manners, dress code and how to address who. When he looked up at Riley he noticed she was already studying him.

“Everything’s alright?”

“Yes, it is. I just thought we would have more time before your debut.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that! I was born ready!” she said reassuringly, which, ironically, made Liam even less reassured.

~~~~

“So when I see Hana Lee’s dad I should say ‘ni hao’, right?”

“Correct! And can you please repeat how you would address Duchess Olivia?”

“Your Grace,” Riley replied.

“Exactly. And Lord Neville?”

“…Also your Grace?”

“Yes. How would you address me, then?”

“Your Majesty?”

“No, Majesty is used for Kings and Queens. I’m not a King yet so I ought to be addressed ‘your Highness’.”

“So Regina is her Majesty?” Riley asked.

“Precisely. Now, what is my title?”

“Prince?”

“Full title.”

“Prince Louis of Cordonia.”

“Ye—What? What Louis?”

“Your name isn’t Louis?”

“No,” he shook his head. “It’s Liam.”

“Oh, right! Sorry, I’ve always had a problem with remembering names.”

Liam smiled but wanted to scream. Remembering names was probably one of the most important things Riley had to learn. And she forgot even his.

“Let me get this straight, when I talk to you I always have to use ‘your highness’?”

“When we’re with nobility, yes. It shows respect. When there’s only me and you, or friends and family, you can call me by my name,” he explained.

“Which is Louis!”

“Liam,” he corrected. Again.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Riley apologized. “I’ll just need something to associate you with… Oh! I know! I used to listen to One Direction a lot and Liam was the name of one of the singers! I liked him a lot!”

“Whatever works for you.” Liam smiled, feeling less and less enthusiastic about his mission.

~~~~

Two hours and three braincell losses later, Riley was walking arm in arm with Liam, into the ballroom. She was wearing a very expensive dress, more expensive than everything she owned altogether. She was very stressed and started to regret coming here. Pretending to be the worst suitor in front of Liam was one thing, but pretending to be the worst suitor in front of all Cordonian nobility was a completely different thing.

“Look, there’s Xinghai, he’s coming here,” Liam whispered and Riley nodded as the man approached them. Liam nudged Riley.

Okay. Show time.

“Hey hoe!” She yelled, making everyone freeze.

I hate myself.

“Riley!” Liam hissed, pinching her arm.

“Excuse me?” Xinghai asked as if not believing his ears.

“I think Riley tried to say ‘ni hao’, is that right?” Liam raised his eyebrows and Riley felt sick.

“Yes! Ni hao! I’m so sorry, I’m very bad at languages!”

Xinghai shook his head. “If you say so.”

“Hi, I’m Hana! And this is my mother, Lorelai.” A girl with a very friendly face extended her hand as if she hadn’t noticed that huge faux-pas. Her mom barely smiled at her.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Your Highness.” A man approached them and raised a glass. “I feel deeply honored to be invited here today. Her Majesty mentioned you would bring an American suitor, is this that lovely lady?”

Riley didn’t know who it was but she sure hated him already. She looked at Liam and realized she wasn’t the only one thinking so.

“Lord Neville. I am very happy you could join us. Yes, this is lady Riley, my suitor. Lady Riley, this is Lord Neville.”

“Lord? Like Lord of the Rings? Is that even a real title?” she asked.

“Excuse me?” Neville was confused and Liam embarrassed. From the corner of her eye, Riley could see Regina smiling at the sight.

At least someone is happy with what I’m doing.

“I believe we haven’t met.” A blond woman interrupted them, holding a glass of champagne in one hand and a very unhappy man in the other.

“This is Duchess Adelaide, Duke Godfrey and their daughter, Countess Madeleine. And this lovely woman by my side is lady Riley.”

“Hi y’all! Louis told me so much about you!” She heard Liam sighing.

“Hmph” was all Godfrey said. The rest of the family looked confused.

“Who’s Louis?” Adelaide asked.

“What happened to One Direction association?” Liam whispered to her when the family wasn’t looking.

“I forgot Louis was in the band, too,” she replied.

“If you excuse us,” Liam turned to Adelaide, “but we need to say hello to Duchess Olivia. Thank you for coming.”

He quickly led Riley far from Adelaide and Godfrey, avoiding other court members on the way. He couldn’t do this. At least not today. Riley clearly wasn’t ready.

“Why hello there,” a lady with red hair and a matching dress greeted them.

“Olivia. Hello. How are you?” Liam started a small talk and Riley noticed he was more relaxed talking to her than he was talking to other people. She must be a friend, she thought.

“I’m great. Haven’t been to a party that is as much fun as this one. And it’s all thanks to you. I’m Olivia.”

“Riley. You’re the Ice Queen?” Riley asked remembering Lythikos was a winter wonderland. She hoped Olivia would be offended just like the others but to her surprise the Duchess burst out laughing.

“Ice Queen! I like her already,” she said as she wiped a tear from her eye. “Absolutely loved when she questioned Neville’s title. The man’s pain in the ass.”

“I’m glad you find it funny,” Liam said firmly. Olivia shrugged and turned to take another glass of wine.

“I’m really sorry I embarrassed you, Louis.”

“Liam,” he corrected.

“Liam,” Riley repeated. “I’ve just came to Cordonia and had only two hours to take it all in. I’ll be better in time.” Not sure how better at making you hate me I can get though.

“It’s fine. Listen, it’s me who should be apologizing. As you said, you just came here and within a few hours you had to learn things I learned throughout the years.”

Riley’s eyes widened. She embarrassed him, she humiliated him and he still apologized? She felt awful.

“I still feel bad. I promise I won’t let you down,” she lied and Liam smiled.

“I’m happy to hear that because we’re visiting our apple orchard tomorrow and the press will be there to meet you, too.”

Riley gulped as she smiled at Liam.

That only meant she had to try even harder.

[seaside-stories]

Macbeth-Theatre Kid AU

This is my Macbeth fanfic. It is an American High School Theatrea Kid AU. Characters: Macbeth, Lady Macbeth, Banquo, Malcolm, Macduff, Lady Macduff, Siward, Seyton. Word Count: ~4500

Macbeth walked into the first day of school with a sense of pride. His junior year. Almost the oldest in the school. His last year he didn’t have to worry about college. He was going to have such a good time this year.

But of course not without his best friend Banquo. Macbeth spotted him next to a vending machine.

“Banquo!” Macbeth called. “Banquo! Over here!” Macbeth ran over and clapped Banquo on the shoulder. “Good to see you,” he said.

“Macbeth it’s only been two weeks since I last saw you,” Banquo said.

“I know, but I miss you.” Macbeth hugged Banquo. Banquo chuckled.

“Always so dramatic…” he mused. Macbeth let go of Banquo.

“How else would I get the lead in the school play?” he asked. Banquo gave him a knowing smile and the two of them started inside.

The duo walked down the hall asking about the other’s summer, even though they knew full well that they had spent the better part of it together. Suddenly, a door to Macbeth’s right opened and a pretty blonde girl exited the room.

“Lady!” He greeted the girl. “Walk with us.”

And she did. Lady was Macbeth’s sister. She was somehow always surprised when he acted like they hadn’t seen each other in a million years, even if they had only seen each other last a few hours ago.

“Hello, you two,” Lady greeted Banquo and Macbeth rather impatiently. “Where are you going?”

“To see what show we’re putting on, duh!” Macbeth exclaimed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Banquo rolled his eyes.

“You know auditions aren’t even until the end of September…” he said.

There was a large bulletin board at the end of the hall. It was covered in posters, both new and old. The actual cork had so many holes one might mistake it for a sponge. But lo and behold, right in front was a rather large poster for the show “Guys and Dolls”. The poster read:

Guys and Dolls Auditions

September 28, 29, and 30

Make an appointment today!

sweird@dunsinane.edu

“Oh my god!” Macbeth yelled. “I love ‘Guys and Dolls’!”

“I know, me too,” Banquo said, not matching Macbeth’s enthusiasm. Lady side-eyed them both.

“If you like it so much, audition,” she said. Macbeth wouldn’t stop staring at the poster.

“I know I’m going to get Nathan Detroit! I just know it,” he said with confidence. Banquo nodded with a smile.

“Ms. Weird practically told you that you were going to get the part last June,” Banquo remembered. The three of them stared at the poster for just a bit longer before remembering that they had other classes, too.

…

The first day of school. As a junior, no less. Macduff had to admit, he was a bit excited. For school in general, but also for the school play. Last June, Ms. Weird, his best friend and stage manager, Malcolm and he had picked “Guys and Dolls” to perform this year.

What he wasn’t so excited about, however, was Macbeth. Macbeth was one of the most arrogant people Macduff had ever met. Macbeth thought the whole world should revolve around him and that everything should tailor to him. Sorry, kiddo, but the world just doesn’t work that way, Macduff thought.

Macduff walked into the Dunsinane Academy courtyard and caught Malcolm’s eye. Malcolm walked over to him.

“How was your summer?” Malcolm asked.

“Great, and yours?” Macduff deflected. His summer was horribly boring, to say the least.

“Oh, it was amazing. I went to this sleepaway camp that was a lot of fun. They have a Christmas program too for families. I think I’ll go.” Malcolm said.

“Don’t go for too long,” Macduff warned. “I don’t want to be alone with Macbeth while you’re gone.”

Malcolm’s happy demeanor quickly changed after Macbeth was brought up.

“Oh, right. I forgot how much you don’t like him,” he said.

It was truly a wonder how Malcolm could forget after Macduff had nearly been suspended last year for getting in a fistfight with Macbeth.

“It’s alright,” Macduff said. “I’ll be okay. Let’s get to class before we’re late.”

…

Late August turned into Early September turned into almost October. Leaves were falling off trees and some ambitious people began putting out Halloween decorations. Macbeth’s family was one of those families. They had lots of big, gaudy decorations. But there was something more important than the rapid arrival of Halloween: auditions.

Macbeth wanted to get his audition over with quickly so he could be cast, so he made his appointment for the 28th of September. Banquo’s wasn’t until the 29th.

He had prepared “Wait for it” from Hamilton as his audition piece. Ms. Weird had thrown a fit last time someone tried to audition with a pop song.

At Dunsinane, they were lucky enough to have a small black box theatre in which rehearsals and auditions could be held. Macbeth opened the door at exactly 3:24.

“Macbeth? Is that you?” Ms. Weird called from out of sight.

“‘Tis I!” Macbeth said in a loud voice. “The great Macbeth!” He ventured farther into the room and found Ms. Weird sitting behind a desk with her back to the door.

“Are you ready to begin?” She asked. “You have your song and scenes?”

Macbeth nodded. The audition commenced.

“So? How’d it go?” came Banquo’s voice over the phone.

“I think it went very well,” Macbeth said. “Ms. Weird practically told me I’d get the lead.”

“What did she say?”

“She said ‘Very well done, Macbeth. I should think that you will get a sizable role this year!’”

“That’s great!”

“I know!”

…

Macduff walked into Ms. Weird’s black box theatre. It was arguably one of his favorite rooms in the whole school.

“Hey, Ms. Weird,” Macduff greeted.

“Macduff! Wonderful timing. Malcolm and I were just going to get started on casting.” Ms. Weird indicated to her left, where Malcolm was sitting with a computer in his lap.

“Hold on, hold on,” Malcolm requested. “A few more minutes, please. I am no tech genius over here.”

“They’ve been recorded? I’ve always wanted permanent documentation of complete showoffs!” Macduff said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Once Malcolm had finally figured out how to work the video program, the three of them huddled around the laptop to watch the videos.

There was one that stood out to Macduff: A senior called Duncan Inverness. Macduff told Malcolm so, and Malcolm agreed.

“Ms. Weird? What do you think about Duncan?” Malcolm asked. Ms. Weird took a moment to consider him before giving her answer.

“He seems great! He’s a senior, right?” she asked. Macduff and Malcolm nodded in agreement. “Good. We can cast him as Nathan Detroit.”

…

The cast list went up on the morning of October 2nd. And that was the day Macbeth’s life was ruined.

GUYS AND DOLLS CAST LIST:

Nathan Detroit - Duncan Inverness

Miss Adelaide - Seyton

Sarah Brown - Lucy Duff

Sky Masterson - Donalbain Inverness

Nicely-Nicely Johnson - Macbeth

Macbeth didn’t read any further than that. He was utterly devastated. He wanted to scream and shout and break some things. How is this possible? Macbeth wondered. Ms. Weird practically told me I was going to get a lead! Nicely-Nicely Johnson? What kind of a role is that?

“Hey! I got Harry the Horse!” Banquo’s voice ripped Macbeth out of his thoughts. “And you got Nicely-Nicely Johnson! Awesome! I love his part in “Sit Down, You’re Rocking the Boat.” Macbeth stumbled past him, down the hall.

“I need to find Lady,” he mumbled, dazed.

Lady was outside, under a tree, completely oblivious to Macbeth’s devastation.

“Lady!” Macbeth called. “Lady!”

“What do you want,” Lady said, exasperated. She marked her book with her thumb and looked up and him expectantly.

“Lady, I got Nicely-Nicely Johnson,” Macbeth explained. Lady did not see what was wrong.

“That’s great!” She said. “Doesn’t he have a solo song?”

“That’s not the point!” Macbeth lamented. He collapsed on the ground next to Lady and buried his face in his hands.

“Dear God,” Lady swore. “If you want that lead, why don’t you do something about it. I mean, you said you’d do anything just last night, didn’t you?”

Macbeth looked up at her.

“I did say that, yes,” Macbeth agreed. Lady looked at him with a sly look. Macbeth returned it with a blank one. It was a few moments before he realized what she was implying. Then a crafty smile took over his features.

That night Macbeth sped through his homework even faster than usual. Then, he opened his computer and began to type furiously. Google, Facebook, Dunsinane Academy website, the city newspaper, anywhere Macbeth thought he could find dirt on Duncan. He was going to get that role no matter what it took.

…

Macduff saw Duncan walking in the opposite direction from him. He seemed to be going somewhere in a hurry.

“Hi, Duncan,” Macduff greeted. Duncan threw him a dirty look and sped past him. Macduff was confused--he got the lead part! What did he have to be upset at him about?

Macduff opened the door and stepped inside. There he saw Macbeth, with a smug look on his face. His friend Banquo stood next to him with a pained smile on his face.

“I’m so happy for you,” Banquo said, sounding insincere.

Macduff turned to see what the two boys were looking at. There he saw Ms. Weird erasing Duncan’s name on the whiteboard as Nathan Detroit, and rewriting Macbeth’s name.

No.

No.

No.

This cannot be happening.

Macduff tried to play it cool, and not freak out. He wanted to keep his position as set designer, after all.

“What’s going on?” he asked, even though he knew full well what was going on.

“Macbeth found some rather...unsavory information regarding Duncan,” Ms. Weird explained. “As a reward, I agreed to recast him. He was going to be our second choice, after all.”

Macduff had forgotten about that. He had only agreed to let Macbeth be the secret understudy because they had no one else who had enough talent to do it. Something felt wrong about this though…

“What did Duncan do that we had to cut him?” Macduff asked.

Macbeth looked even smugger than before (if that was even possible).

“I heard that he cheated on his Physics final last year. And, I figured that Ms. Weird would want to know,” he said. He pointed to a handwritten sign on the door that read “We support academic integrity in this classroom”. 

Macduff recalled when this sign was put up. It had been because a few actors had been cheating on their tests. The administration had asked Ms. Weird to cut them from the show. It hadn’t hurt the production much since those actors were in the ensemble, but since then academic integrity had been a very serious topic in Ms. Weird’s classroom.

“Duncan’s not the type…” Macduff mused.

“No, but he did,” Ms. Weird said seriously.

Macduff shook his head and sighed. He was sorry to see Duncan go. He looked up at Macbeth, to see if he showed any sign of remorse at all, but he was still smiling brightly, oblivious to the fact that he probably cost Duncan his theatrical future.

…

Despite his smug demeanor, Macbeth was terrified. Duncan had not actually cheated on his physics final last year. What really happened was that he took a practice test with notes. The test was not meant to be open book, so his teacher let it slide with a few docked points. All Macbeth had to do was fudge a few details and bing bang boom, Duncan was cut and Macbeth was now the lead.

Macduff seemed less than thrilled about this, but Macbeth wasn’t miffed. He knew that Macduff didn’t like him much anyway. 

Malcolm came in behind Macduff and pushed past him.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“What do you mean?” Macduff asked him.

“I just saw Duncan throwing rocks and screaming outside,” Malcolm said. “What’s that all about?” Macduff thew Macbeth a cool look.

“I’ll let Macbeth explain,” he said.

Macbeth was getting sick of explaining this more than once. He wasn’t prepared to have to tell everyone who came in the door.

“Duncan violated the academic integrity rule so he was cut,” Macbeth said simply. Banquo nodded behind him.

Malcolm threw up his hands.

“Are you serious?” he shouted. “This can’t be true.” Malcolm stabbed an accusatory finger at Macbeth. He left in a huff, muttering to himself. Macduff put his bag down and ran after him.

“So, when’s the first rehearsal?” Macbeth asked.

…

Macduff sped down the hall after Malcolm.

“Malcolm! Hold on!” Macduff shouted. Malcolm kept speed walking until he found the room he was looking for. He threw the door open and slammed it behind him. Macduff followed him inside.

“Malcolm?” Macduff asked the room. The two of them were alone. All of the desks were stacked at the back of the classroom, the walls were barren, and the lights were off. The classroom appeared to be unused, but even so, it was open.

Macduff caught sight of Malcolm as he was throwing a script at the wall. He threw it with force and papers exploded everywhere. Malcolm covered his face with his hands.

“It was supposed to go well this year,” He all but sobbed.

“Hey,” Macduff said consolingly, setting aside his own anger for a moment. “It’ll be just fine, okay? We can fix it. We’ll figure it out.”

The two of them sat on the floor for a few minutes, not saying a word, before picking up the script, which was quite a few pages, and heading to the woodshop to begin working on the set.

…

Macduff and Malcolm didn’t come back that day. Banquo and Macbeth sat together while Macbeth highlighted all of his new lines. Banquo, who had been in the ensemble before, took on Macbeth’s previous role as Nicely-Nicely Johnson.

“I love his song,” Banquo had said.

“I know, Banquo,” Macbeth said.

When the final bell rang at the end of the day, Macbeth was anxious to find Lady. He had to confide his troubles in her.

“Lady,” he said. “Are you sure this was the right thing to do? I mean, Malcolm and Macduff are really upset. They’re probably going to bust me!”

“It’ll be fine, Macbeth. You’re going to seem suspicious. You got this far, just stay on the down-low.” Lady told him. Macbeth took a breath of confidence and stool taller than he had before. He put on a smile and escorted Lady out of the school.

Later that evening, Banquo called. This wasn’t uncommon, so Macbeth had no qualms about answering.

“Macbeth?” Banquo asked.

“What’s going on?” Macbeth replied.

“Macbeth, I feel like something fishy is going on,” Banquo confessed.

“Like what?” Macbeth was getting nervous.

“Like, in the show.”

“You mean how Nathan and Adelaide never get married? I know, it’s so weird.”

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

“What do you mean, then?”

“I mean...I don’t mean to say that you’re a liar or something...but Macduff was right, I think. Duncan isn’t the type to do something like that. It feels wrong to have ruined him like that. You know?”

Macbeth felt like the floor had been ripped out from under him.

“No, I don’t know. I’ll see you tomorrow, Banquo,” he said coldly.

“Macbeth, wait-”

Macbeth ended the call.

…

That day after school Macduff went home with Malcolm. They had started planning out the set for the show that afternoon but could hardly focus, so they put it off until later.

Later is here.

Macduff scribbled an idea down in his notebook.

“I was thinking we could do something like this,” he showed Malcolm. “It could either be a drawing on plywood or a drop or something but I don’t think we should have any other drops.” Malcolm nodded.

“That looks cool. You can draw it on or something and then we can get some ensemble people to paint it. For techie points.” Malcolm said.

“Yeah,” Macduff agreed.

The design was a cartoonish New York skyline. Windows were yellow, the sky was navy with white stars, and each building had a long spire.

“Okay, what else?” Malcolm asked. Macduff consulted his notebook.

“Shop facades, The mission, something for Havana, a platform for the Hot Box, and so, so many other things.” Macduff said, burying his face in Malcolm’s bed.

“We can draw up some plans and delegate this stuff to the newbies. Ms. Weird will show them how to do it.” Malcolm told Macduff.

“Are you sure?” Macduff asked.

“Yes,” Malcolm said with determination. “Because while they’re doing that, we are going to sabotage Macbeth.”

…

Macbeth was enjoying his time at the top. He truly was. But it was not without this horrible guilt following him wherever he went. He was avoiding Banquo today--partially because Banquo was also avoiding him. But also…

There were a few people in Ms. Weird’s room when Macbeth got there. It was lunch hour, after all.

“Ms. Weird?” Macbeth asked with trepidation.

“Yes, sweetheart?” Ms. Weird acknowledged him. Macbeth could hardly bring himself to say the words. But he needed this assurance.

“I caught Banquo cheating on an important project last night.”

Ms. Weird looked down at the table and sighed before looking back up at Macbeth.

“Thank you for telling me, dear,” she said. She turned around and began editing the cast list on the whiteboard again.

“Macduff and Malcolm are going to have my head on a plate…” Macbeth could hear her muttering. Me too, Macbeth thought. He left quickly to find Lady. He figured she could give him some respite before he had to face Banquo.

But when has Macbeth ever been that lucky? As he was leaving, Banquo came through the front doors of the school building.

“Hey,” Macbeth tried. Banquo sped past him into Ms. Weird’s room. It was only a few moments before he came storming back out again. Banquo slammed his shoulder against Macbeth’s on his way back outside. Macbeth was alone in the hallway.

Macbeth found Lady sitting alone in a secluded corner of the school yard. When he sat down next to her, she startled.

“Are you okay?” Macbeth asked her.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine,” Lady said very unconvincinly.

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing, nothing. I just don’t want to see certain people right now.”

“Oh, should I leave?”

“No.” Lady put her hand on Macbeth’s thigh. “You can stay.”

They sat in silence for a moment.

“Banquo got cut today,” Macbeth said.

“What? Why?” Lady demanded.

“Oh, it doesn’t matter.” Macbeth regretted telling her anything.

“I swear to god, Macbeth, if this was your fault I’ll kill you. Duncan, already hates me because I’m your sister. Why don’t you keep adding people to his army, huh?” Lady berated him. Macbeth was at a loss. There was no way he could come out of this on top unless he let Lady take the fall. Which,

“You seem to be handling it pretty well,” Macbeth observed.

Lady slapped him in the face.

“I changed my mind. Go away.” 

Macbeth obeyed and left quickly. As he approached the school doors he saw Banquo leaving out of the corner of his eye. Macbeth decided to go back to Ms. Weird’s room.

Ms. Weird wasn’t there when Macbeth arrived. He decided to sit on the long table at the front of the room.

Macbeth noticed a magic 8 ball sitting near the white board. He decided to ask a few questions.

“Will I become rich and famous?” he asked.

Don’t count on it.

“Okay…” Macbeth was a bit disappointed. He decided to ask some more questions.

“Will Guys and Dolls be the best Dunsinane production yet?”

As I see it, yes.

“Sweet!” Then he remembered Macduff and Malcolm.

“What about Malcolm and Macduff?” He asked.

Concentrate and ask again.

Right, Macbeth thought. I can’t be vague.

“Will Malcolm and Macduff hinder my greatness?”

Better not tell you now.

“Fine, be like that.” Macbeth said and set the 8 ball down.

Suddenly, the door opened, and a girl walked in. Macbeth recognized her as Maduff’s younger sister.

“Is Ms. Weird here?” she asked Macbeth.

“No, sweetheart, she isn’t,” Macbeth said, an idea forming. He had a bad feeling about Macduff and Malcolm, and he knew exactly what to do about it.

…

Malcolm and Macduff sat down next to each other in their next class, their fingers intertwined. They both gave each other a look of knowing: this was their last respite before rehearsal today. It was not the first, but they were nowhere near their last. Malcolm and Macduff were not excited, to say the least.

After class, Macduff and Malcolm split up, albeit begrudgingly. Malcolm had to supervise the rehearsal and answer any stupid questions the actors undoubtably had, while Macduff was taking Siward and a few other freshmen to the woodshop to work on the set. One of those freshmen was supposed to be his sister, but she was not here.

“Has anyone seen my sister today?” Macduff asked the group. He was sure he saw her going to first period this morning but it couldn’t hurt to ask.

They all shook their heads no. Let me ask Malcolm if she’s in Ms. Weird’s room, Macduff thought. He took out his phone.

Macduff: hey is my sister near you

Malcolm: no why

Macduff: i cant find her

Malcolm: so why don't you text her

What a great idea. Why hadn’t Macduff thought of it before? Macduff opted to give her a call. It rang a few times before she picked up.

“Hello?” came a shaky voice.

“Hey,” Macduff greeted. “Where are you?” All Macduff could hear was the sound of ragged breathing for a few moments.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll see you when I get home. Oh, and by the way, don’t try to get me back while that group of jerk-wads are still there,” Macduff’s sister said through quiet sobs.

“What jerk-wads?” Macduff asked nobody, since the call had ended. Macduff knew everyone on the cast, and they were all so friendly and kind, except…

“I need to go,” Macduff told the freshmen. “You all can go home.”

…

Macbeth was running lines with Seyton when Macduff burst in. He had a determined glint in his eye. Malcolm walked up to him and they started chatting animatedly. Macbeth was having trouble focusing on the scene.

Macduff and Malcolm both looked back at Macbeth before leaving the room, leaving Macbeth with a sinking feeling.

Once he was sure Macduff and Malcolm wouldn’t come back, Macbeth grabbed the 8 ball again and shook it.

“Are Macduff and Malcolm plotting against me?” Macbeth asked it.

Outlook not so good.

This put Macbeth somewhat at ease. The rehearsal continued as usual. Afterward, Macbeth went home with no qualms about Malcolm and Macduff.

…

His first mistake, arguably. Macduff had seen Macbeth shaking the 8 ball through the little window in the door.

“What are you looking at?” Malcolm had asked.

“Macbeth is consulting an 8 ball,” Macduff had said, chuckling.

He and Malcolm came up with a plan to get Macbeth expelled from the theatre program: confront him. It was so simple they almost didn’t consider it.

“Really? Who’s gonna believe us? Who’s gonna prove him wrong?” Macduff had asked.

“Duncan, and Banquo. And your sister,” Malcolm had reassured him.

“And after this ordeal is all over?”

“We’ll restore people’s old roles. And continue as normal.”

They set the date for Friday. That meant they had Wednesday and Thursday to talk to Banquo and Duncan and to formulate some backup plans. They would not leave for Christmas break before this was set right.

…

Macbeth walked into school on Friday morning nervous. He had felt confident on Wednesday afternoon and on Thursday, but walking into school was giving him second thoughts. He saw Duncan and some of his friends hanging out together, side-eying Macbeth. Banquo eyed Macbeth from afar and Macduff’s sister had a strange glint in her eye.

On Thursday evening, Lady came down with a fever. Their parents wouldn’t let her come to school. Macbeth was alone and paranoid.

Macbeth walked from class to class trying to be as big and intimidating as possible, to hide his fear. He would not let these people, who were arguably lesser than him, know that he wanted to become as small and invisible as possible.

Dread could not even begin to describe what Macbeth felt when he approached Ms. Weird’s room that afternoon. He pushed open the door with immense trepidation. Seyton and Siward were chatting in the corner, but there was no one else there.

Macbeth snuck behind Ms. Weird’s desk and grabbed the magic 8 ball one last time.

“Will I perform in the show this winter?” Macbeth asked. A direct question has to work, he thought.

The 8 ball landed on the tip between two responses. Macbeth shook it again.

Ask again later.

At that moment, Malcolm pushed the door open, followed by Macduff, his sister, Banquo, Duncan, Ms. Weird, and Mr. Birnham, the principal.

“Hello, Macbeth. Nice to see you,” Macduff greeted Macbeth with a cool tone. Macbeth gave a small wave.

“Macbeth,” Mr. Birnham said. “Have a seat. Please.”

Macbeth sat and Macbeth listened. He listened as Mr. Birnham recounted what had happened in the last two weeks. Macbeth’s peers nodded along with Mr. Birnham and gave each other premature celebratory smiles.

“Now, you understand that you will not be able to participate in the Dunsinane Theatre Program anymore, yes?” Mr. Birnham asked.

“What?” Macbeth exclaimed. “That’s ridiculous!”

“This is what you get for stepping on your friends,” Banquo said.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Macduff gave Banquo a high five.

Macbeth stood and walked toward the door. He took one last look at Ms. Weird’s classroom--which he would never see again--before leaving to go home. Macbeth just barely saw Ms. Weird editing the cast list on the whiteboard out of the corner of his eye.

…

The door closed quietly. The people in the room just stared at it for a moment. Then, Malcolm enveloped Macduff in a bone-crushing hug.

“Finally, we can get on with the show!” he exclaimed.

Someone started playing Green Day’s “Good Riddance”, and someone else put a box of cookies on Ms. Weird’s desk. The celebration was well under way.

It was a few days before Christmas vacation was supposed to begin. Dunsinane’s production of Guys and Dolls was about to close.

Malcolm stood in the wings. Macduff was in the booth. The actors were ready for the show to begin.

“Cue 1, stand by…” Malcolm said.

“Standing by…”Macduff responded.

The lights in the house went down.

“Cue 1, go.”

Macduff pressed the play button in the program. The music started.

“I’ve got the horse right here! His name is Paul Revere…” The actor began. This was going to be the best Dunsinane Production in a while.

[elenajohansenreads]

Books I Read in 2021

#84 - The Glittering Court, by Richelle Mead

Mount TBR: 70/100

Rating: 1/5 stars

What did I like about this? It was digestible. Having just come off a heavy, plodding, disappointing fantasy read, the easy YA tell-don't-show narrative style went down smooth like a slushie on a hot day.

And that's the best thing I can say about the whole book--it read fast and easy.

What didn't I like?

1. The fact that this touts itself as fantasy when it's not in the least bit fantastical. I don't require my fantasy to have magic or creatures or zombies or anything, but if you're going to call something "fantasy" it should at least be about fictional cultures that the author has invented. This is just England colonizing the Americas with the names changed. The only thing that could be said to be "fantasy" is that the population they're displacing in the process isn't an indigenous one, it was established by previous outcasts from their own country--though that wasn't clear to me until the first time we met them and they were white, blond, and used woad as decoration. So they're not supposed to be Native American analogues, they're supposed to be displaced Picts?

2. Either way, it's still racist and pro-colonization, because even if the Icori aren't meant to represent an indigenous people, they're still clearly Other, and constantly labeled as "savages" in order to justify taking their land, which all of our protagonists are participating in, in some form. Does it matter what color this fictional group of people is, if the narrative is parroting real history and real racism?

3. The second half of the plot feels, at best, tenuously related to the first half. The change in fortune for our protagonists that happens at the midpoint struck me as so flimsy and unbelievable that it was hard to take the rest of the book seriously, and that made it more obvious to me who the real villain was, despite whatever weak red herrings were planted along the way. Seriously--the first half of the story is The Bridgertons but the second turns into Little House on the Prairie. It's too big a genre shift to make the transition seem natural.

4. There were times when I was approaching a reasonable level of sympathy for our heroine, despite her many flaws, but every time the story had a chance to explore those flaws and perhaps let the character do some work on them...well, she just kept being headstrong and selfish and whiny, right up until the LHotP section where after a single pep talk from the hero, she's completely changed, resolved to her new station in life with a determination that seemed half-delusional and certainly out of character. She didn't work for it, so it didn't seem real.

5. I did not know, having picked up this book in isolation, that the rest of the "series" is actually the same time period from the perspective of one of the other girls, specifically the two best friends of the heroine. Now that I do know that, the giant blank spaces in this story where Mira and Tamsin constantly fall out of it without explanation--or with the pointedly obvious lampshade "it's not my business so I'm not going to ask"--make sense structurally. However, that doesn't mean I don't think it's a terrible flaw, because these holes are constant and irritating. For a while in the middle of the book, it felt like every time I turned two pages, the heroine was asking out loud, "Where's Mira?" And pretty quickly I knew that question wouldn't be answered in this book, so why keep asking?

6. I never found Cedric compelling enough a hero to justify the constant sacrifices that Adelaide made for him. I don't think he's a terrible character, and I enjoyed some of their banter and their occasional fights, but I'm also not about to add him to my book-boyfriend list, so it was hard to imagine myself, or anyone for that matter, doing as much for him as Adelaide did.

7. Religion. Woooo boy. I guess this part is the "fantasy" I was lamenting the lack of earlier, because if the accepted and heretic forms of this fictional religion are supposed to correspond to real-world counterparts, I didn't pick up on it with enough certainty to tell. But my problem is that it's suddenly a Very Big Deal that one character is a heretic, when religion had played such a small part in the story leading up to that revelation that I was mostly operating on the assumption that the main religion was socially performative, and that no one in the story was especially devout. Adelaide certainly doesn't seem to be. But since this heresy becomes central to the conflict later on, I wish it had been better established in the beginning, because (again) the second half of the book seems wildly different than the first, and this was another aspect that made it hard to take seriously.

8. Heteronormative AF. There's one token queer person who has a minor role, showing up just long enough for Adelaide to realize other women/cultures don't abide by her society's rigid norms and to feel briefly uncomfortable about it. But there's no follow-up, no depth, no opportunity for Adelaide to grow beyond what she's been taught. To some extent, I'm okay with that--not every story has room for fighting LGBT+ battles, and even more simply put, stories are allowed to be about other things. But parading just that one wlw character out for a moment, and making her a foreigner to reinforce her otherness, strikes me as a really poor choice if the story didn't actually want to fight that battle. Why bring it up at all? Especially as this is supposed to be fantasy, why couldn't the Glittering Court be an institution that provides marriage candidates to both men and women? If the candidate pool was both male and female, and so was the clientele, then many forms of queerness would be covered by it without having to dig into specifics about each character. (It doesn't directly address ace/aro people, but presumably they'd be less interested in a marriage mart anyway, on either side, and self-select out of it.) I mean, I know why, because that would mean that in the New World there would have to be women in positions of power who needed husbands (or wives, yes, but this wrinkle is about men.) And there's no shortage of men in the colonies, so that doesn't track logically the same way the actual setup does. But again, if this is supposed to be fantasy....

[thejosh1980]

I was lookin' back to see if she was lookin' back...

Yesterday Alex, Mum and I celebrated...

It's been one year since Alex and I arrived at Mum's place in Ocean Shores, NSW Australia.

If you've read my earlier blogs in 2020, you'll know that we had a lot of trouble getting home. Between the government and airlines, at one point it looked like we'd never get here; we were stranded. I was living in constant worry, stress and hopelessness - in fact, we all were: Alex's family in Germany and Mum's family down under.

Our July 2020 flights were cancelled or rescheduled many times, and eventually we decided to buy new, more expensive flights, on another airline through an agency, which gave us some assurances we'd be on the flight. Our new flights booked and confirmed for early September.

We flew Frankfurt to Adelaide, which was not our original plan. Adelaide had no COVID, and the chance of getting on a flight and getting into the country was higher than say, Brisbane, or Sydney. We could quarantine in Adelaide for 2 weeks and then fly on to Brisbane, which is closer to Ocean Shores.

That was like.... so last year...

This area where we now live is known as the Northern Rivers of New South Wales, and when we arrived at Mum's there was no COVID in the area. We are only about 35 minutes south of the Queensland border, about 8 hours north of the big smoke, Sydney.

Now, a year on, COVID has arrived here.

It's been biting at the heals of tourists and essential workers travelling north since Sydney went into lockdown a couple of months ago.

It's not our idea of a good time.

Right now it's school holidays, which is meant to be 2 weeks of families holidaying in caravan parks and hotels, an essential part of this tourist attraction mecca. Byron Bay, Brunswick Heads, and surrounds are usually very popular places; so popular that most locals complain about how busy it gets here during the holidays. You just can't get a parking sport anywhere!

The Northern Rivers was locked down for about 6 weeks through August into September because cases from Sydney were getting into regional NSW. These regional areas affected by COVID weren't near here, but they made a blanket rule for everywhere outside of Sydney, just to be on the safe side.

Honestly, I don't blame them for the rule, regional outback Australia can't cope with COVID, there's few hospitals, beds, or COVID experience in the scrub and farm land.

Anyhow, I digress...

After those 6 weeks or so in lockdown, they lifted the restrictions here in the northern rivers (and other areas of NSW).

And now, after 2 weeks, lockdown is back on...

There are a couple of cases in the area. Snap lockdowns are the government's preferred method of containing outbreaks. Lockdown areas wherever cases pop up for a week or two (or longer) to limit exposure.

It reminds me constantly that life can change quickly at any time. I have decided I will not waste time once this current lockdown has ended (who knows when that will be). I will visit friends, family, and musicians who live close by. I want to see as many folks as quickly as possible, before another lockdown kicks in.

Besides the boring, never ending tale of COVID, there have been a few things happening this past year...

Alex has been working consistently in the real estate industry since her temporary visa kicked in late last year.

Her first job was a few more miles away than any of us locals would consider driving, and the position wasn't as enjoyable or rewarding as she had first hoped. She really dived in the deep end, and while she didn't drown, she probably needed a few swimming lessons before the attempt. It was a life lesson, one she took on board, and when a new job came up closer to home, she nailed the interview (as she always does), and hasn't looked back.

The 2nd job is less than half the distance away, strictly 9 to 5 and in a company which she enjoys. There's a strong company structure, good work ethic, and entertaining colleagues. Her supervisors, colleagues, and managers are all very supportive; I think she'll be sitting tight on this one for a while.

Alex has also found her creative side again, scrap book journalling, instant camera photography, and some kind of couples diary/journal/photo book too. It's become an almost nightly affair of focusing, creating, and having something to show for it fairly quickly. She's very proud of her work, and it's something she does just for herself. I don't expect you'll get a chance to see a photo of what she's done, and she likes it like that.

I had a bit of work late in 2020 and early 2021, nothing special really, but wait until the premier!! It's interesting to think that some day soon I'll be able to go to the cinema and see my ugly mug on the big screen (even if it will most likely be out of focus). I'll be on Netflix too.

Having the opportunity to be an extra on film and TV was a real boost for my confidence after being off stage for so long. I felt creative, met some great people, made some friends, and had a few bucks in my pocket. Happy days.

By jumping into an industry I hadn't been in before right after arriving here, it reminded me that Australia has a lot to offer. I found myself comparing Germany and Australia, and Australia often feels like it comes up short. This was a chance to prove to myself that there are adventures awaiting here down under.

So, I decided to go back to school.

The last time I was in a class room was in 1998!! I am studying a Diploma of Counselling, and am currently half way through my studies. I've found it very challenging, but have passed every assessment so far, and gained some handy skills too. I have a good connection with my teachers, and I really enjoy the company of my classmates; some of which I can even call friends.

I chose counselling for a few reasons, but the first step was really just a process of elimination. Besides being a freelance professional musician for several years in Germany, I had worked in offices, shops, warehouses, kindergartens and various other jobs. While I could go back into IT or something similar, I wanted to use this opportunity to try something new.

I had my fair share of mental health issues in the past (and present). I thought maybe those experiences could help me connect with folks who need support as well. When looking at course options, the counselling course stood out. So now I'm making a mid life crisis gamble that I'll pass the course, and feel confident and knowledgeable enough to take on the role that many others have taken on for me over the years.

The course has helped me find a routine too, one that I didn't know I needed, until it happened. When you're jobless and unfocused, the mind wanders, the days pass. Now my mind is focused on study, and I feel better for it.

Up until the lockdown hit, we were in class 3 days a week and then I'd study from home 1 to 3 days a week. When lockdown hit, we had to go online. However, being on the computer so much has worn me out, and I really start to enjoy those rare days where I am not looking at a screen!

To be honest, it's been challenging every step of the way, and I even thought about quitting several times in the past few months. However, my confidence has steadily risen to each challenge and I felt better for it.

That's the kind of vicious circle I enjoy.

In July I had my first live show in 13 months! In fact, to date I've only had 3 since the pandemic started! Fingers crossed I can cross the border next month and add a 4th.

I was approached by Cherry Divine to play guitar for her. It's a relatively easy gig for me. The songs are fun rockabilly tunes, Cherry sings great, and she already has a band and gigs. I'm helping her write a few songs too, for her next album. I can't thank her enough for sparkin' the fire in me to keep music alive in my life; for a while there I thought it was all a thing of the past.

With the spark has come the possibility of “The Josh” solo band coming together. While the band isn't moving at any great speed (the recent 2nd lockdown kicked in right as I was about to arrange a rehearsal), I'm finally eager to get a band together. I miss playing live, and I miss having musicians in my life. I miss the spontaneity of a show, life on the road, and crowd reactions.

I've even started to write some new material, and get those ideas on “tape”, well, on the computer. Slow and steady, between studying, family, pets and surfing, music is coming back into my life, and it feels good.

Our family unit here is doing well. Alex and I have been under mum's roof and mum's care for a year now. There are some ups and downs, but mostly I'd say they're ups... The house is big enough to give all of us space, all of us get time outside of the house (except during lockdown, I was mostly stuck at home, but that's OK for me)...

Last night we couldn't go out for dinner, but we did have take away from the local Indian which was really good, and a special treat for us, we don't eat out often.

Alex and I plan to get away every 5-6 months for a visit to somewhere we haven't been. In March we were on the “Sunshine Coast” and checked out Australia Zoo, and in June we went south to the mid north coast to pick up BB Junior.

It's nice to get out and explore. A bit hard to do at the moment, with the restrictions, but we've agreed another trip away (before Christmas if possible) is in order. Those trips are part of the reason why I came home, to see some of Australia, and I'm lucky I get to make those experiences with Alex.

It's also nice to get away from it all. I know we live in a beautiful spot near the ocean, but here, at home, there's the computers, the life and routine, and getting away keeps us fresh and focused on each other. It's definitely something I look forward to!

Speaking of BB Junior, he's almost 7 months old now, and a real character. While he's not the easiest cat to train, I've been getting a few tricks out of him, and he enjoys his time outside, with his harness and long lead. He visits his cousin each week for play time, Charlie, who is another ragdoll of a family friend who loves to play chase all day long with Junior. Alex adores Junior, and Junior adores Alex; they can't wait to cuddle when she comes home from work. He's very vocal too, so even when everyone is at work, I have someone to talk to!

Losing our little boy Mijo was a real difficult experience. I know I've written about him before, but he deserves a mention here, as he was a big part of our first year here. He was full of character and strength, he and I bonded very quickly and not a day goes by I don't think of him. He also brought Alex and I closer together. When she chose him for me, and when he passed, and all points in between, he brought us closer.

I've been focused on sport a fair bit since getting back and settling in. I bought a RowErg, also known as a rowing machine, and I row about twice a week, in addition to riding my bicycle about twice a week. I try to surf every chance I get, which unfortunately ends up being only a few times a month. It's my goal to do something sporty to get my heart rate up every day, and of late, usually I get there too. I don't really do it for any other reason than I love to snack and I can't snack if I don't do sport!

A benefit of my sport/snack workout routine is it helps me stay calm and focused and connected with those I ride and surf with.

I haven't asked Mum how she's feeling about having her middle aged son and his wife living with her recently. Maybe I should, but do I really wanna know the answer? Well, I think she's OK with it. After all, we drive her wherever she wishes! I suspect it goes a little deeper than that, and in all honesty, we enjoy each other's company.

Since Alex and I have been here, I'd like to think Mum has been living a little bit fuller life. I don't think her eyesight has deteriorated much in the past year, but we've been able to provide her with support, eyes to read the small print, driving and help with google, or something around the house. When Mum was diagnosed with celiac disease earlier this year, Alex took her shopping to check over the ingredients of Mum's favourite food, and when needed, found alternatives. It definitely made the transition to gluten free a little easier on Mum and it was a load off my mind that we were around to help her through that phase.

Winter 2021 was over before it even started. I forgot how warm this part of the world is, and I don't know why I own so many jackets! Returning from Europe, where I was wearing a jacket daily for about 9 months of the year, here it feels like, if it's really needed, and I mean if you're desperate, you might need one for 9 weeks of the year. I think the heater was on a handful of times, and the sun was shining just about every day.

I tell ya, it's some kind of paradise here.

It's been a bit difficult keeping up with our European friends and family. I sometimes find it hard to find the time to be proactive to contact the 20, 30 or more friends I'd like to keep in touch with regularly. I know our lives keep on keepin' on, but time passes by so quickly too, and next thing you know it's been 4 months since I last contacted you!

Sorry about that!

Don't take it personally, and I'll get back to you, eventually!

My overall mental health has improved over the year, I'd say it's become quite stable since I started the course. I mean, can't you tell? I write less and less in this blog, because I have less and less to process. I'm not sure if it's the fact there's a lot of self reflection that is inherently a part of doing that kind of mental health course, or if it's the routine of being a student or the new friends I've made and classmates I study with.

It could be that it's taken a year to come to terms with being back here, cause when I first arrived I felt uncomfortable, depressed and worn out... There were a lot of questions; is this a mid life crisis? What am I doing here? Will I ever feel good again? Is my music career over? What am I going to do now? Is Alex OK? Is Mum OK?

My journalling, blogging, and support from friends and family has helped a lot too this past year. Processing my thoughts in words, by clarifying and reflecting, has helped a lot. I've been trying to care for myself a bit more now and then too, I think people call it self care, sometimes I call it sport! Alex has helped me to recognise my achievements, however big or small, and focus less on what I haven't done.

I'm not perfect, but definitely improving.

I was hoping that Alex and I would be in a position to start looking at buying our own house around this time, a year in, but unfortunately, with one of us being a student and the ever rising cost of housing, we have to sit tight on that idea for a while longer. Sorry Mum, you're stuck with us.

There's been many smaller things happen during our first year here. Lots of moments of gratitude, love and support. There's some stuff we've forgotten, or that has been overtaken by something bigger. All in all, I'd say it's been a real rollercoaster home coming!

We're still here, a year on, still going strong, making motions, taking chances, being in love, talking shit, laughing, smiling, misbehaving and focusing... What more could we ask for?

Thank you for reading, for your support and love. I love you too.

Josh

[julemmaes]

Pinky Promise - Chapter Two

A/N: LMAAAO GOOD LUCK FUCKERS

Fic Masterlist

Word count: 4,378

"Could this fit?" Amren asked, showing her an all-black sheath dress with a delicate slit on the thigh.  Nesta grimaced and shook her head. Amren puffed and continued to look through the clothes for something suitable for her dinner with Cassian.

Amren had texted her in the middle of the morning and she could never refuse. They had gone out for lunch, between classes, so they could do some shopping while catching up on their lives. Amren worked as a photographer for one of the biggest and best known nonprofit organizations in the country and it was more than rare that they managed to see each other.

When she got out of high school and started working as a freelance photographer, Nesta had been a little hesitant. She had always liked Amren's pictures and thought that her friend had a unique talent, but she was not experienced in the field and was worried that she would never make it in such an unstable profession. And then one day Amren showed up at her house and announced to everyone that she had won a competition to be part of an exploration team that would leave a few months later for the Arctic. She had been away for months, but when she came back she had brought someone with her and the beginning of a career that would make her famous all over the continent for her shots.

Amren and Varian had been together for three years now and had traveled the world, both working for the same channel.

Every time Cassian or Rhysand pointed out to her that she had no more places to visit she stared at the void smiling, always repeating the same thing: "I haven't even started yet."

For now, however, she would stay a couple of weeks in Velaris, while Varian visited his family in Adriata and afterwards they would leave for Lunathion. Amren never failed to remember that this was a huge project, which would allow her to break through to other countries and perhaps find a more important position.

Nesta showed an orange dress with many fringes and a lot of tulle to Amren, who burst out laughing and crossed her arms to make a cross. Nesta snorted and continued her search.

"Yesterday, while I was on a call with Varian, his mother appeared," the friend suddenly said. Nesta turned towards her. Amren imitated her, with a grim face, "She started talking about marriage."

"She did what?" Nesta asked, laughing at the evident panic of her friend.

Amren frowned, "Don't be a bitch, you know how I feel about marriage."

Nesta nodded, continuing to sift through the various dresses. Amren had never been prone to marriage. Growing up in a family with divorced parents who argued every three seconds to decide who was entitled to what - the daughter included - she had never thought that one day it might be a possible option.

When Amren didn't speak for a while, Nesta urged her, "So? Do you want to marry Varian?"

"No!" the other replied alarmed, instantly, then she corrected herself, "Yes?" she grunted, scratching her nose, "I don't know."

Nesta reasoned about it for a few seconds, taking a pastel blue dress and putting it in the bag with the others she had already picked up, "Would it be such a bad thing to consider marriage as a possibility in the future?" she asked her cautiously, not wanting to upset her friend.

"I don't know honestly," sighed Amren, "I love Varian. I really do. But the idea that I have thanks to my parents has nothing to do with what he has. It has nothing to do with what you have too," she said, looking her in the eye. She was right. The example her parents had given her, before they both died, was the example of a perfect marriage, with a mutual relationship of respect and love. Her parents had been best friends before they were married and there hadn't been a day in their lives when they blamed each other for whatever problems they had.

Amren's parents, on the other hand, had divorced when she was still a child and the girl only remembered how hard it was to go from one house to another every week and how hard it was to live with both of them during the custody case. It had not been a good childhood for her. She had not spoken to her mother or father for two years, from all Nesta knew.

"You know, marriage isn't the same for everyone," Nesta began, "and it's not a necessary step in a couple's life. I don't want to tell you what is best for you, because I don't know. But I think you should talk to Varian about it," she told her in a light tone, "I'm sure he will understand whatever you tell him."

Amren nodded, almost distracted, then shook her head. "And you? How are you going to ask him?" she wondered, trying to change the subject.

Nesta indulged her, being more than happy to talk about her proposal, "Do you know the saga that he and I read? The one about the knight and the prince?"

It was Amren's turn to laugh, "Your eyes sparkle every time you mention A Knight's Tales".

"So you listen to me when I talk about it."

Amren raised an eyebrow, mumbling, "It's quite impossible not to when all you and that brute boyfriend of yours do is talk about those books."

"Anyway," she waved her hand midair, "in the last book of the saga, Adelaide, the knight," - I know who Adelaide is - "asks the prince to run away with her and he asks her where they could possibly go and she answers that she bought a house in a faraway town just for the two of them. A place where they can be alone and quiet. Where no one will ever be able to find them," she says smiling, thinking what she would have said. "I got him one of the first editions, that book cost me an arm and a leg and it's two hundred years old."

"The fact that you want to run away from your sisters is quite worrying." Amren joked, making her laugh. "And unfortunately I already knew about this part of the story." she continued in a slightly demented tone, as if she had resigned herself to having to know every slightest detail of the series.

Nesta fixed her hair behind her ear, heading towards the dressing rooms, "I think Feyre wants to leave that apartment too and Elain is practically kicking us out."

"What do you mean?" asked Amren curiously.

They both locked themselves in a dressing room and Nesta immediately undressed, feeling her hair rising because of the cold, "She's bringing I-don't-know-how-many plants into the house. Much more than usual. She' is practically taking oxygen away from us to give it to those things." she heard Amren laughing in the dressing room next to hers.

"Do you already know where Feyre will go?"

She shook her head, putting on her first dress. A long black dress, heavy enough to protect her from the cold. "No, I haven't mentioned it to her yet. But anyway, she has until the end of May to arrange things, I have no intention of starting to move in the middle of the exams."

Amren muttered something before saying, "I can't wait to know how Cassian will react when I point out to him that you beat him to the punch".

"Me too."

Then Amren surprised her, "Are you nervous?"

She didn't have to think twice. She smiled, "No, I'm not."

They kept talking about this and that for the rest of the afternoon, until Nesta had to go back to university and Amren went back to her studio apartment. She had a lecture on Space Systems and when she got home it was already six o'clock, only Elain was on the couch watching some documentary about ancient tribes. Feyre must have gone out to avoid getting asked questions, thing that Elain had surely done.

Cassian had sent her a message before she went into class and confirmed that he would be there, having put Azriel in charge of the bar for that evening.

She made a reservation for 8:30 at their favorite restaurant and carefully wrapped the book, placing a bookmark in the right place so that Cassian could open it and read the first line of the page.

Run away with me. Live with me.

Everything was perfect.

Or so it should have been.

***

Cassian was about to be sick.

Before leaving the house, Rhysand, who was preparing the lesson for his children at the kitchen table, wished him good luck and warned him that he would not be home that night, to give them some privacy in case they needed it. He would be at Mor's.

Now, Nesta was looking at him on the other side of the table with a smile on her face and was telling him about the last topics she had learned in class, something about all the protocols to follow in case of a malfunction of the craft, and normally he would have listened to her in detail, but tonight he couldn't concentrate on the words she was saying.

When he had seen her coming out of the door of her building, in that new pastel blue dress, which wrapped her body perfectly, he had run his hand over the eyes, bewildered. She couldn't be real. She couldn't be his.

When he had kissed her and told her that she was beautiful and she answered him that he was just as handsome, Cassian had almost thought of putting it off another time. He could have waited a few more days.

He didn't want to break this balance of theirs. It was not a precarious balance. It was solid.

Their relationship was perfect. They had no problems and they had never had big, insurmountable ones. This would have destroyed them in one way or another and Cassian knew it.

"Babe?"

Cassian seemed startled, he blinked a couple of times. Nesta was looking at him with a raised eyebrow and an amused expression on her face.

"I'm sorry, I know you're not interested in this stuff, but I'm so excited-"

Cassian stopped her immediately, reaching over the table and taking her hand, "Don't say that, you know I'm interested in everything you say. Whether it's engineering or the color of the new plant that Elain brought home." he smiled at her. Her grip on his fingers tightened.

"Today's one has purple leaves, it's pretty," she replied thinking of her sister. Then she got serious, "Are you okay?"

He nodded, sighing, "I'm just a little tired, down in the dumps," he said, tilting his head to the side, not really lying. "Rhys went to work this morning and when he came back he was doing better - the power of children I guess - but he's still feeling bad about last night. Did you get to talk to Feyre?" he asked more concerned than anything else. He didn't like meddling in other people's business, but everyone's sanity was at stake here. Especially the sanity of who he considered his little sister.

One of their waiters put their desserts on the table. Cassian thanked him with a smile before turning all his attention to Nesta again.

She grimaced, taking her hand away from his and starting to eat, "I didn't see or hear from her at all. Elain says she had lunch with her and they talked a little, but she didn't want to tell me anything and had to go back to the store right after." she took the cherry on her pie and put it on his plate, "Maybe I was wrong to go out with Amren today, I should have gone home too."

Cassian made a sound of disapproval, "Don't worry, she wouldn't have said anything if you'd been there." he smiled at her. "You're not very kind when it comes to Tamlin."

"Well, he's never done anything to deserve my kindness," said Nesta bluntly.

"He did pay a portion of Feyre's college fees, Nes. He got her into that crazy school," said Cassian, almost not believing his own ears. Was he defending Tamlin?

"Feyre would have gotten into the Academy even without daddy's help, and one way or another we would have been able to pay for it ourselves," she continued, giving Cassian another cherry. He knew that she liked cherries as much as he did, but she did it with so much peace of mind that he often wondered if she realized how much she spoiled him sometimes.

"I know she would have been able to get in on her own, but since she's so stubborn to stay with that tool, she might as well use it as such and empty his wallet," joked Cassian.

Nesta chuckled, "You're right."

They finished their desserts in silence and then Nesta looked him in the eyes with so much emotion that Cassian's head spun. He smiled sweetly at her, whispering a I love you, and then she bent over to the side, grabbed her bag and pulled out a brown packet.

He frowned when she handed it to him and took it hesitantly, she looked at him smiling, "What is it?"

***

Cassian was about to open the gift when Nesta started talking, "A few years ago you started talking to me about a stupid book called The Soft Blade. It was about a struggling woman, a woman knight who carried out impossible missions. And of a prince forced to a life at court. Forced to chase the woman who offered the most."

The man in front of her was confused, but this time he was really listening to her, more than interested in yet another conversation about his favorite saga. His fingers still on the wrapping paper.

"I remember starting it only out of curiosity, besides your constant begging. And while you find the fighting and adventure part fascinating, I have never found anything that makes me feel more emotional than Adelaide and Constantin." Nesta shook a hand to tell him to unpack the gift.

She saw Cassian stiffen but smile faintly when he realized what she had given him.

"In The Last Battle, there is a very important part." she whispered, joining hands on the table, feeling some of that nerves Amren had talked about a few hours earlier, "Adelaide asks Constantin to run away with her, to go live with her in a place away from everything and everyone." Cassian opened the book where the red cloth bookmark popped out of the pages. He touched the paper, reading under his breath.

"Run away with me. Live with me."

Nesta waited a few seconds, giving him time to understand what she was implying with that simple but at the same time important gift. "I've been through hell in the last few years. I've earned every shred of happiness I have now and you've been the person who has been closest to me all this time." she was so excited that she could have started dancing in the middle of the room, "We have waited long enough, Cass. We have had enough patience and now we can finally start thinking about what our future will hold. Together."

It had been years since she made any serious decisions without first consulting him, but that together, pronounced at that moment, had more meaning than it had ever had in the past.

That's why when Cassian looked up at her and Nesta saw his eyes, it felt like the air was pushed out of her lungs.

She felt her stomach twist and she knew that if she had a mirror in front of her now she would look at a ghost. She put her hands on her lap, clenching her fists.

Cassian was looking at her sadly, with his jaw tight and the look of someone who has to give bad news.

"Nesta..." the waiter who had served them for the entire evening interrupted him, asking if they wanted anything else.

"The check, please. Quickly if possible, we have to go somewhere else." replied Nesta without looking at Cassian and giving her credit card to the boy.

Cassian leaned over the table, looking at her, "Nesta, listen to me."

"Not here," she said, getting up and starting to collect her things.

"Please, let me explain." he begged her, taking her hand. Nesta snatched him off without too much effort and approached his chair looking him in the face. Whatever he had to explain, Nesta knew it would raise hell.

"I said not here, not that we wouldn't talk about it," she said, thanking the waiter and taking back her card. She left the restaurant, without worrying about waiting for Cassian.

They got into the car in silence and he carefully laid the book inside the compartment in the trunk. When he didn't start the car immediately, Nesta stretched out on the seat, snatched the keys from his hand and slipped them into the patch, starting the car. "Drive."

"Nes, can I first explain why I reacted like this?" when she didn't answer, Cassian took it as an invitation to continue, "I want to live with you, my answer to your question is yes. I want to spend the rest of my life with you-"

"Stop it." she said through her teeth, "Stop it, please. Let's go home." her voice broke.

Saying those words hurt her more than usual. Home.

That was not their home.

Cassian tried to take her hand and she moved it, crossing her arms and turning towards the window.

The ride from the restaurant to his apartment was agonizing. Nesta was not good at being alone with her thoughts.

They had spent the last seven years of their lives saying I love you, being there for each other. They had shared joy and anger and pain. They had gotten through high school together and would get through college in a few months. The last two years of their lives had been a constant moving of clothes from one apartment to another.A constant fantasy about how they would decorate their bathroom and bedroom. What colors they would paint the walls of their children's rooms, when the time came.

One day Cassian had told her "I will put a giant picture of you, on our wedding day, on the wall of the fireplace that we'll have in the living room, so that every person who walks through the door will be jealous of how beautiful my wife is."

His wife. That sentence had held so many promises.

Nesta had taken for granted a future with the man sitting next to her. He'd made it clear to her several times that they would spend the rest of their lives together, that they would grow old hand in hand. She had just told him this just a few minutes ago, so what was stopping him?

She dared to look in his direction and Nesta noticed how pained his expression was, the way he held the steering wheel an obvious sign of frustration. She saw it in the way his arm was twitching that he was holding back not to touch her.

Maybe he had been unwell lately and she hadn't noticed it. Maybe she had paid too much attention to her family and neglected Cassian and now he was realizing that he didn't want to be with her anymore and he was just buying time to find a nice way to break up with her.

Even the thought of having to live without Cassian by her side took her breath away.

Whatever was going on in their relationship they would deal with it together, as they had always done. Nesta was just overwhelmed by emotions and didn't give him time to explain himself.

That's why she reached out her hand to him, intertwining her little finger with his, in that simple childish promise to which they were so accustomed.

Cassian turned towards her, almost losing control of the car, he swallowed and squeezed his little finger around hers, nodding almost imperceptibly.

Nesta was carried back years to the day her father died. Cassian had grabbed her by the shoulders shaking her when she stopped answering him. He had held her face in his hands and hugged her, and when he had pulled away and put his little finger in front of her eyes, she hadn't had the strength to ask him what he was doing. Cassian had looked her straight in the eye, "I promise I won't leave you alone tonight and as long as you need me."

She had almost yelled at him that she didn't need to do this crap at such a critical moment, that she had to run to Feyre and Elain, but when he had taken her hand and squeezed her finger around his, she had found immense comfort in that small gesture that until then they had only used for things of minimal importance.

They arrived to his apartment and went up the stairs, their hands joined only by their pinkies. Not a word said in the midst of that chaos.

They detached only when Cassian had to open the door and once inside the kitchen Nesta spoke.

"I love you, Cassian. I love you with every fiber of my being and I know..." she said interrupting him immediately when he tried to spoke, "I know that you love me as much, so I understand that there must be something really important if you haven't said yes yet. I wanted to apologize for reacting like that earlier. I'm sorry." she said, looking at him from the other side of the room.

Cassian nodded, licking his lower lip, "And I apologize for not telling you earlier what I'm about to tell you now."

Nesta hesitated, before sitting down and joining hands on the table. Cassian followed that movement and grimaced.

"I have no way around it, so I'll just say it." he murmured. Nesta waited. And waited.

She was about to tell him that she was imploding to know what was preventing them both from living the dream of a lifetime when he said it.

He said it, and Nesta choked a laugh, holding her hand over her mouth.

And she thought it was serious business. She stood up, wanting to punch him for that stupid joke, but Cassian looked at her seriously.

"What?" she whispered, falling back on the chair.

"I have decided to enlist."

"Are you serious?" she asked, opening her eyes wide and leaning forward, towards Cassian, looking for a clue, something, anything that would confirm that he wasn't serious, "Is this one of your stupid jokes?".

Cassian rubbed one hand on his face, leaning with the other against the back of a chair, "I would have done it under other circumstances, I would have wanted to soften the blow and not do it like this," he said, desperately moving one hand between the two of them.

Nesta clenched her fists, cutting her palms with her fingernails, "So now it's my fault because I decided to ask you to move in together?"

He looked at her severely, "I didn't say that and you know it."

They stared at each other for a few more seconds. Neither of them spoke a word.

"You're not fucking joking," whispered Nesta in dismay.

"No, Nesta, I'm not joking. I'm going to enlist in the army."

The school, his bar, the wedding they both knew was practically imminent. The now tangible future that Nesta had dreamed of every day since she first kissed him. Her work at Prythian Space Agency.

Everything was fading away before her eyes.

She let out a breathy laugh, her hands to her head, "And- when, when did you decide all this?" she exasperatedly asked, "When did we decide that this sudden urge to commit suicide was part of the plan?" she looked him in the eye, snapping to her feet.

Cassian started pacing back and forth, just like Feyre had done the night before, "I've been thinking about this for a few months now-"

"A FEW MONTHS?" cried Nesta in amazement.

"Yes, a few months." he replied, looking guilty at least.

"Jesus Cassian." she murmured, "And when on earth were you planning on telling me this, uh? When were they going to send me a letter from the front saying that my boyfriend is dead?" she shouted.

"I'm not going to die," he said harshly.

Nesta found herself laughing hysterically, "It seems to me that you want to enlist in the army, or did I misunderstand?"

"Enlisting in the army doesn't mea-"

"Joining the army, Cassian, means going to places where there is war. War." she repeated. "It means holding a weapon and being willing to kill for the love of god-"

There was so much confusion in her head that she couldn't make a complete sentence without losing the thread. She put her hands in her hair. Her breathing labored.

There were so many reasons why Cassian shouldn't have even thought about this job option in the first place.

They were fine. They both had prospects for the future.

"Nesta, you have to listen to me-" his voice filled with emotion.

"I don't need to do anything, Cassian." she said spelling out the words, without looking at him. She needed to be alone. She couldn't think straight. She couldn't rationalize with his figure so close. "I've already heard enough."

"No, you must..."

"Enough!" she shouted. "I can't- I cannot think. I gotta go." she whispered, so softly that Cassian had to ask her to repeat.

She grabbed her purse and before he could understand what was happening, Nesta was out of his apartment and in the street, flailing for a cab to stop. She heard him calling her as he hurried down the stairs to reach her.

Cassian had just arrived on the ground floor when she slammed the car door and gave her address, leaving the love of her life behind.

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[bedbellyandbeyond]

Elves

(Story Post)

“Stop… I'm sorry, please stop... I can't…” “Okay, um… Hold on, let me just…” “Sorry…” “Don't be… Did I hurt you?” “No, I just can't right now…” “It's fine, I'll just… Where's your bathroom?” “Across the hall…” “Give me a minute, yeah?” “Yeah. Sorry… Do you want the wi-fi password?” “Haha, no, it's okay… I'll manage.”

Once the bathroom door closed, Theo curled up under the covers in shame. He didn't know what came over him, but he suddenly just felt like everything was completely wrong. But why? He was living through a fantasy; this tall hot dark elf man was here in his apartment wanting to have sex with him and they were both turned on so…why did it feel so wrong? After two minutes Korsy came back, his pants done up but his sculpted chest still on full display. He looked guilty, but trying to look unbothered as he sat back down on the bed. “I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable or…” Korsy rubbed his neck. “I mean, I don't know what to say…” “Don't, you did nothing wrong at all…” Theo said. “I don't know what's wrong with me right now… I was really excited, but I just… I don't think I can have sex like this…” “Maybe is it the pregnancy?” Korsy asked. “I heard it can affect libido and stuff…” “I don't know… I don't think so…” Theo sat up and rubbed his knees. “I just… I don't think I can have sex outside of a relationship…” “Ohhhh… Okay, no, that's totally chill.” Korsy chuckled. “I get that.” “You do?” Theo asked. “Well, obviously I don't feel that way myself, but I understand that it's a requirement for a lot of people,” Korsy said. “I totally respect that.” Theo looked at Korsy and pouted. “I'm really sorry.” “Naw, naw, please don't apologise,” Korsy said. “The last thing I want is to put you through sex you're not comfortable having. I'm glad you asked me to stop.” “I just wish I was all the way in it with you…” Theo sighed. “Like, I don't want to ruin your night.” “You can't and you didn't. I'm not upset. I'm not disappointed. I'm not mad. And even if you did ‘ruin my night', which you didn’t, it's way more important that you feel comfortable.” “Well… Thanks, Korsy…” Theo said. “You're a good guy…” “Trying my best,” Korsy said. “At the end of the day, sex is different for us and we weren't compatible. That's all.” Theo nodded quietly. Korsy patted Theo's knee. “Do you want a hug?” Theo nodded again and opened his arms. “Please.” Korsy scooted closer to him and wrapped his arms around the pregnant man. “It's alright, okay? Just relax… We can keep talking elf stuff… Or I can get out of here if you'd rather that…” “Can you stay, actually?” Theo asked, hugging him back. “If you can… You don't have to…” “I can stay.” Korsy rubbed Theo's back then let go. “I'm a little thirsty though… Mind if I grab a glass of water?” “Yeah, I have a pitcher in the fridge,” Theo said. “There's also juice or some ginger ale, I think…” Korsy got off the bed. “Do you want anything?” “Ginger ale?” Theo requested. “Please.” “No problem. I'll be right back.” Korsy disappeared down the hall for a few minutes. Theo still felt very embarrassed, but he could feel himself calming down. He didn't expect Korsy to be as nice about all this as he was and it was a bit overwhelming. When Korsy got back with two glasses, he handed Theo his ginger ale and then sat back down. “You have a nice place. Balcony's a good view.” “Thanks.” Theo took a sip of his ginger ale and suddenly realised how parched he was. He hadn't really eaten or drunk anything since before the group meeting. “Street gets a bit noisy, but I like it…” “I saw a bowl on the balcony. Do you have a cat?” Korsy asked. “Doesn’t smell like it.” “No, there's just a building cat that stops by every once in a while,” Theo said. “And you feed it? How noble.” “I guess… They’re good company.” “That's fair.” “Do you have any pets?” Theo asked. “I do actually,” Korsy said. “My girl, Adelaide.” “What is she, a dog?” “A snake actually,” Korsy said. “Ah, so you're a snake guy,” Theo said. “You say that like it's weird.” “It's not weird… Just different.” Korsy pulled his leg up to rest on the bed and leaned back. “I don't like all snakes. Just Adelaide.” “It's fine, I'm not judging you,” Theo said. “It's not like you have a snake tattoo.” “Well…” Korsy rubbed his neck. “Not exactly…” Theo's eyes widened. “Show me. Where?” Korsy sighed and pulled up his pant leg. Where Theo expected to see skin and ink he actually was surprised to find a prosthetic leg with a snake engraved down the back of the calf. “Oh, so cool!” Theo admired. “I wouldn't even have guessed… And never seen such sleek prosthetic before…” “Elven tech,” Korsy said before pulling his pant leg back down. “No touching.” “No worries, I won't,” Theo said. “But can I ask—” “Injury, not congenital,” Korsy stated. “And no, I don't want to talk about it.” “Oh, okay. That's fine,” Theo said. “Thanks for telling me.” “No worries.” Korsy took a drink from his cup. “Oh, and I went for the juice. I haven't had Tropicana in a long time.” “Yeah, I've been craving orange juice lately,” Theo said. “Do you wanna see my tattoos?” “Sure. I saw that nerd circle on your wrist,” Korsy pointed out. “What else you got? “Um, just this…” Theo pulled up his shirt sleeve to show the Tri-Force. “Eh, nerd triangle. Now you just need like a nerd square to complete the set,” Korsy chuckled. “Maybe, like… A Minecraft block. Yeah, that'd do it.” Theo pouted. “These tattoos mean a lot to me.” “Don't sweat it. It's cool being a nerd. My bro's a big nerd like you,” Korsy said. “Passionate. Good feature.” Before Theo could respond, he heard his door open in the front hall and he sat up. “Theo? You awake, buddy?” he could hear Henderson calling as he let himself in. “Roommate?” Korsy whispered. “Sort of…” Henderson stopped by the door and then his eyes widened when he noticed the elf. “Oh! Well, hello!” Korsy waved smiling. “'Sup?” Henderson was suddenly beaming like a mad man. “Hi! Am I interrupting?” “No, just hanging out,” Korsy said. “I'm Korsy.” “No way, I've heard about you!” Henderson said. “You're that top agent kid, right?” “Henderson, do you need something?” Theo asked, suddenly irritated. “Well, I just… I felt bad that I left you at APID alone and so I tried calling you but I never got through so I figured I'd make sure you got home safely, but clearly I had nothing to worry about,” Henderson said, waving a hand in Korsy's general direction. Theo looked around for his phone and found it in his pants on the floor. “Sorry, no ringer… But didn't you have a date?” “Yeah, we finished. Can't you tell?” Henderson lifted his shirt and proudly patted his slightly distended belly. “Yulinian, nice,” Korsy complimented. “Looks like a good egging.” “Right? I'm fucking stuffed,” Henderson said. “Anyway, I'll get out of your hair. I’m not allowed to keep these. You kids have fun.” “Thanks, man,” Korsy said. Henderson ducked out and the door closed behind him. Korsy turned to find Theo now buried under the covers. The elf patted where he expected Theo's head to be. “Not a roommate?” Korsy asked. “No… He's just a friend…” “But you like him.” “What? No…” Korsy chuckled. “Come on, you went beet red when you heard his voice. Don't act like you're not into him.” Theo pulled the covers down. “Henderson and I wouldn't work. He's not right for me.” “Why? He cares a lot about you,” Korsy said. “Please, just leave it.” “Okay, okay…” Korsy shrugged. “But tell me, why did you act like you've never met an elf before?” “What do you mean?” Theo asked. “You're the first elf I've ever met.” “Oh, come on,” Korsy said. “You're telling me that someone as obsessed as you are can't even tell that guy is an elf?” Theo pulled a face. “Who, Henderson?” “Uh, who else?” “Henderson is not an elf,” Theo said. “I would know.” “Yeah, you should know. First of all, the ears are a dead giveaway,” Korsy said. “His ears aren’t that pointy,” Theo said. “And anyway, I met a dude today who had pointy ears for a whole other reason.” “Well, obviously ears aren’t the only thing,” Korsy said. “But that guy has to be, like, at least a quarter elf. Elves know elves, dude.” “If Henderson was an elf, he’d tell me,” Theo said. “I don’t know what to tell you, man,” Korsy said. “He’s an elf. I’m 100% sure of that.” Theo pouted. “Why wouldn’t he tell me?” “That’s between you two,” Korsy said. “But you should talk to him. Like, what’s stopping you?” “You just saw, he can get anyone he wants!” Theo said. “He just fucked a Yulinian! I can’t compare to that.” “Theo, I think you’ve got some stuff to work through,” Korsy said. “Elf, Yulinian, human… No species is above another. Preference is fine, but at the end of the day, the people that care about you do so simply because they care about you. If you grew a tail and horns tomorrow, you won’t be any more important or special than you are today.” Theo frowned and covered his face. “You’re right, I’m sorry…” “Don’t be.” “No, I used you,” Theo said. “I treated you like a novelty just because you’re an elf…” “Don’t sweat it,” Korsy said. “I’m hot. I know. And I kinda used you too. Never been with a pregnant dude.” “But I couldn’t even finish…” “Hey, we’re not gonna go into that again. It’s over. And, you know, I think you’re kinda cool.” “I’m really not.” “No, you are.” Korsy tapped Theo’s arm. “I’ll leave you my number. I’m away from home a lot, but they usually don’t send me out of country so, you know, I got country wide calling. You can call me if you ever want to talk. I’ll try to make time.” “That’s really cool, Korsy,” Theo said. “Thanks.” “Don’t sweat it,” Korsy said.  “Do you wanna watch a movie or something? Oh, you’re nerdy enough. Do you have Disney+?” “Yeah but just for the Mandalorian.” “Baby Yoda. Let’s do it. Put it on, man.” “Okay, okay, hold on a minute…”

[ryttu3k]

Already finished Coteries of New York, so on to Shadows of New York! I’ve seen the first bit in an LP, at least, but the bulk of the story will be new. This will have two playthroughs, one for each ending, since at least it has them XD First up - the ‘good’ ending!

Oh dang I like the music.

Julia is a bit on the edgy/cynical side XD

Yeah, she’s got a shit deal :-\ And what’s worse is that it’s all planned out.

Interesting note - at Lodestar, there were shadowy figures in the background, but you could rationalise it as people on the other side of the windows. On the train, you only see the shadowy features, and it’s otherwise empty, so no obvious figures casting them...

I guess if you choose the ‘don’t shoot’ option, Julia gets drained and it’s an early game over?

God that Embrace scene is intense. I got goosebumps!

Spirits, huh? Oh yeah, Obtenebration became Oblivion and is now connected with necromancy, IIRC?

I’m glad she had a good few nights XD;;

Valerie Duval, she was... the scourge in CoNY hunting down the Red Hook killer?

Nice to meet you, ‘Katherine Wiese’ XD

Cool ponytail, Qadir! I really dig the relationship between him and Julia, it’s fun. ‘sup Aisling, how’s Agathon? A blood hunt, really? Y O U. Okay yeah probably better for Julia’s long-term survival for Arturo to ignore her XD;; Samira’s so pretty. Ooh this guy is Hope’s sire, yeah?

“You wanted to hear about which member of New York City's Camarilla I dislike the most?"

"Yes?"

"Too bad. They're all my dear colleagues, and I deeply respect every single one of them."

"Sure you do. Wouldn't want to blurt out something that could lock you out of Mr Vanderweyden's legal services, would you, you ass-kisser?"

"I do expect to find myself in need of a good defense attorney when my broke, incompetent, and foul-mouthed assistant finally pushes me over the edge."

THEMST.

Benoit hi!! “Got any news about Sophie Langley?” *sharp intake of breath* Benoit backstory, that’s rad. I wonder if it’ll be uncovered in-game? Like we know Arturo is still around, Panhard is still around. Presumably Adelaide Davis is still around. Callihan... well, I know what happens to him. I think Torque ditches the scene before Sophie dies?

Father Leonard seems like a good sort. I wonder what his deal is?

Dakota is adorable. I’m going to do the ‘good’ end first even though I know it’ll make me feel horrible, but dangit, the ‘bad’ end is totally going to be my canon.

...Vin Diesel? XD

DING DONG THE DOUCHE IS DEAD. ...Deader than usual, I mean.

jfc Panhard that is pretentious as hell. Both the party description and the costume, actually XD Qadir’s mask is kind of funky. Oh my god Arturo you are a Toreador is that the best you can come up with?! Nice horns, Aisling.

...Thought, given their clans, Samira/Aisling could be interesting as hell.

Man, Arturo and Panhard must be pissed off XD Unless they’ve already picked their replacement stooge?

And here’s where the plot starts! Hey, isn’t that the priest’s house? Ohh, they’re meant to be meeting with Mia. I guess they’re just reusing assets.

“It’s a list of four names. ‘D’Angelo. Hope. Agathon. Tamika.’“ *SHARP INTAKE OF BREATH* Okay, that could be the list Sophie gave the fledgling. Which one did Callihan get it from?

Oh criminy Dakota don’t tell me you’re into that Q-Anon shit XD;; Ooh okay that makes more sense. Neat.

Ahhh man I was hoping to get a lead and instead Julia has to punish this poor fuck XD;; Yeesh. Okay, Bunny as a Reporter it is, then.

Almost run over by a limo, huh? *chinstroke*

Oooh this is the lead to Hope! Yeah, I’d say she has a connection with a Montgomery XD Wonder if she did end up eating her? Huh, contact used LeakyGutSyndrome... didn’t Hope end up having to retire that one, or was it the other one? Let’s just... Dominate this guy. Sorry dude it’s for your own good.

Agathon’s missing? :( Damn, he’s like one of the only decent Tremere. Oho, a diary! Oh sweetheart :( Oh, Silvia died :( Damn, interesting past, though... and a reference to CoNY again.

Fucking shadows, I literally glanced over my shoulder.

S C H E M E S. And yeah, looks like I’m on my way to the ‘good’ end :-\

Oh shit, Adelaide or.... whatshisname, Kaiser’s dude? Oooh man who to meet first... Kaiser’s dude. Oh. That was a bit anticlimactic XD

On to see Hope at Double Spiral. I think this is one of those choices that leads to one of the endings, so what’s more ruthless and Camarilla... busting in it is.

Nastya isn’t having a good night, is she XD;; Also Hope’s suit is badass.

...huh. Sounds like she’s actually managed to get shit sorted decently XD

Interesting... the coterie members were a list of heroes for hire that multiple people had, including Sophie. Well, that widens the scope a bit! Anonymous information broker, shall I assume that’s Kaiser? OH. No, it’s her sire!

“The story going around is, he left me alone and I hate his guts. Well, at least half of that is true.” Which half, though...

Aww man I wish I had saved some of those websites! I miss SciFiVine...

You know, I’m not 100% sure Carter’s the murderer (my main suspect is Arturo at this point tbh) but damn, the bit about Stern’s show kinda makes me want to slap him anyway XD;;

Queer Catholic blues, huh :-\

“Haven’t you noticed what’s going on in the news? People are going absolutely insane about this virus, cancelling trips and orders and --” Ahh. We’re in that 2020 XD;;

Okay the scene with the kid meeting his girlfriend was cute but then spooky time?? jfc was that the Abyss?!

Ooooh did she just find Tamika solely by accident? Thanks, Abyss XD I love how Julia’s first response is ‘shit, she’s hot’. And she took out a whole SI squad herself? Nice. Calebros mention! Huh, so the SI are maintaining the status quo... they became an issue because the Camarilla tried to sic them on the Anarchs and Sabbat and it backfired, maybe it actually succeeded here?

Ooh, a history with Torque. Neat. Also not sure with the art, but are those tattoos on Tamika’s arm, or fur? I mean, Gangrel beast marks and all.

Sorry Torque I’m just trying to get the ‘good’ end :(

Mention of the fledgling! Officially ‘disappeared’, that leaves it fairly ambiguous at this point.

Oof. The Circulatory System are... not cool. And yeah Julia’s just been called tf out, I do look forward to this scene in the ‘bad’ end XD;;

COVID strikes back. The Big Beat Burger is closed :( Charlie is sweet, at least! I hope his mom is okay.

Well that rat bit was weird. Hi D’Angelo! Oh my god blood doll rats? Drunk blood doll rats?! Still a damn good detective, though, that’s good shit. On to Kaiser and some answers! ...Yeah, okay, he’s a prime suspect too.

Kaiser, you are a deeply unpleasant person :-\

...good to know pepper spray still works. And, uh, probably satisfying to beat him up XD;; And yeah, there’s the last choice for the ‘good’ ending. Sorry dude.

...huh. Okay, I was at least partially right XD;; Oh Qadir, not you too :-\

Well that’s a bit... weird of Dakota, yes.

lmao oh Benoit you absolute mess. Religion as A E S T H E T I C XD I have a theory he’s from Michael’s line and I also quite sincerely believe that Michael would take one look at him and bitchslap him into the next millennium. He’s a Path follower, isn’t he?

Father Leonard is okay. I wonder who the ‘friend’ is?

This is very Agatha Christie, revealing the killer in the midst, except I have the horrible feeling Qadir’s going to go with ‘it was suicide’ and not ‘it was everyone’.

Denouement! Before it ends, Julia’s traits:

Loyal only to myself

Glass half-empty

A little abuse of power never hurt nobody

You can’t be a writer and not lie

The ends justify the means (duh)

Honestly she may have just blackmailed her way into power, set up Carter to take the fall, and sent poor Dakota to final death, but the drama was impeccable XD Good luck not ending up in the Abyss, Julia!

[lilwritingraven]

Searching for Hope

Part Five

Masterlink

John Seed x Female Deputy/OC

Summary: The Pyro Boys team up with Audry for a little renovating.

Trigger Warnings: None

Notes: Thank you all for your support of this story. @proudspires has been such a doll, helping me by beta reading it and listening to my ramblings. This story is now also on AO3! :)

**************************************************************

“Sharky, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“That’s ridiculous, this is the best idea I’ve had all week!”

The two stood at the bottom of Joseph’s statue, peggies scattered at their feet, Hurk Jr. checking the bodies for supplies. Audry was looking at Sharky, whose attention was on the statue, eyes alight with a look Audry didn’t like.

“Listen,” Audry sighed, turning away from the ugly monument. “I don’t like it just as much as the next guy, but it would be like painting a giant target on our location.” She cut her eyes to the side, looking up at him. “And I don’t think I need to remind you of my… Situation.”

For the past three weeks, no one had spoken much about the pregnancy, choosing instead to label it “the situation.” Audry wasn’t sure if it was because they wanted to ignore it, or just keep it a secret from John Seed a little longer.

Eventually they’d have to deal with it.

“We’ll be out of here by the time the first piece hits the ground. Hey, Hurk!” Sharky shouted, calling his cousin over. “Whaddya say we blow this thing to bits?”

Hurk’s face brightened exponentially, leaving Audry grimacing. “Hell yeah! Why, that’d be funner than the time my daddy let me drive the jeep in the sand dunes!”

Outranked, two to one. It was how it had always been, growing up around the two. A silent vote, though none of them had ever mentioned the rules of it. It just went without saying that if at least two of them were in on something, all of them were. Audry had never much liked those odds with these guys.

“Fine! But you,” she pointed a finger up at Hurk. “Get to explain this to Adelaide.” That got Hurk to hesitate, if only momentarily.

“Ah, it’ll be fine ‘Dree. We’ll just blast him to the moon and be on our way!”

Audry knew it wouldn’t be that simple; it never was. But the look of pure unadulterated joy on their faces was enough for her to sigh and say: “Where’s the c4?”

_________________

It, indeed, was not that simple. What they had thought would take one big blow, ended up taking multiple. That was problem number one.

Problem number two was the fact that they hadn’t thought about where the rubble would land. They were still at the bottom as it started raining around them, sending the earth rumbling and the dirt flying. Heavy smoke from all the explosions filled the air with a heady smell of gunpowder.

Sharky and Hurk were having the time of their lives. Audry couldn’t stop coughing long enough to tell which way was up or down.

Then the gunfire started.

She had just enough time to duck into the base of the statue before they could spot her. The idiot twins were outside shouting to each other, something Audry didn’t even try to make out. With nowhere else to go, she decided up was her best option.

I am not afraid of heights, she reminded herself, climbing higher, higher, higher up the beams. When she finally reaches the top, is the world swaying? She pulls out her radio, hoping desperately she’s still in range.

“Adelaide, it’s Audry. Think you could uh, give me a lift in Tulip? Over.” Slow breaths. Do. Not. Look. Down.

“-might as well just burn the damn thing.” Someone, Sheriff Whitehorse? Was speaking to her. “It should be up on top of that monstrosity. Over.”

Dumbfounded, Audry said, “I’m sorry, you want me to burn what?” Then, realizing her mistake; “Over.”

“Joseph Seed’s first book is up on that thing. I want you to find it and destroy it Deputy. It’ll be a good step in liberating our region. Over.” Audry felt like a fish, mouth opening then closing again, trying to find the words to say.

She couldn’t help feeling like a high school bully, but if Whitehorse said it’s what they needed then-

Who knew books were so hard to burn? It took three, three, of her incendiary arrows.

“I’m disappointed Deputy.” Oh crap oh crapohcrap. “That book held many memories of my past, of growing Eden’s gate into what it has become.” Joseph’s voice drawls through her radio, because of course he would know what she was up to. He probably had cameras around the whole place. “I’m afraid that little show of rebellion can’t go unpunished. Don’t fight it deputy, we wouldn’t want any harm to come to that unborn child of yours.”

All Audry could do was stare in shock at the figures appearing from the ladder. They didn’t look like the normal peggies down in Holland Valley, or even Faith’s angels. These people all wore a red ski mask, looking for all the world like they were on some bank heist.

“Darlin’,” Adelaide’s voice blared at her, a distant recognition. “T-minus 5 minutes. Think you can stay alive for me until then?”

Audry wasn’t aware that her hand had grasped the radio until it was held to her mouth, the button pressed under her fingers. “Somehow,” she breathed. “I don’t think they want to kill me.”

None of the figures made a move, seeming to be waiting for something. For me, she realized. They were waiting to see if she would go with them or make a run for it.

“Just go with my Chosen, Deputy.” Audry closed her eyes, her head falling back in exasperation. This voice was rougher, deeper than the others. Jacob. “You won’t win.” A spark of annoyance flared in her. He was so certain. Like he just knew poor, small, little Audry wouldn’t be able to escape.

She set her jaw; mind made up for her. In the distance, she imagined she could hear the whirring of helicopter blades. Pressing the button once more, she said, “How about this? You guys can go f-“

Her curse was cut short, an explosion shaking the ground beneath them. Audry’s radio flew to the ground, skittering off the edge. Well, that’s gone. Then, mercifully, the deafening roar of the helicopter. Her hair flew up, around, led by the wind.

“Audry, get out of here!” Sharky, bless his heart. He was always there to save her. Thoughts of her high school years coursed through her mind, too fast for her to think on deeply. Without having to be told twice, she stood and ran, ran, ran, towards the edge where Adelaide was waiting with Tulip.

Don’t look down. Don’t look down.

Without giving herself time to think about it, she jumped.

[big-city-dreamer]

Fireworks

A/N: Hey! So I’m back with another fic that’s surprisingly not my usual ShieldShock MO. I recently binged Power Rangers RPM and now I’ve joined the fandom, 11 years too late it seems cause the fandom is pretty much dormant/ nonexistent especially here on Tumblr 🤦🏾‍♀️But for anyone who hasn’t seen it, RPM was meant to be the last season of Power Rangers EVER so Disney took ALL the risks and it turned out to be IMO not only the best installment in the 20+ years of the show but some pretty good TV in general! It’s the most adult season they’ve made and with the A1 script and even better acting (Rose McIver, Adelaide Kane, Eka Darville!) it’s hands down SO enjoyable! Anyway, my birthday was on Saturday (#VirgoSZN 🥳) and this self indulgent fic of my new favourite OTP (Dillon x Summer Lansdown) is my gift to myself. It may be hard to follow if you don’t know the show or characters but I hope it’s still an enjoyable read.💜 Gifs by @vakariaan

Title: Fireworks

Pairing: Dillon x Summer Landsdown

Summary: Dillon and Summer finally stop dancing around each other. (Set between the final Venjix battle and the last scenes of Episode 32)

Rating: G

Warnings: Super fluffy and cheesy lol! Lots of direct references to the show.

“That’s three in a row, boys!” Summer Landsdown grinned as she knocked the last striped ball into the top right pocket of the pool table from what seemed like an impossible angle. She blew on the end of her pool stick like it was a smoking gun.

Her teammates Flynn McAllistair and Ziggy Grover were still staring at the cleared table, unable to pick up their jaws off the floor. The blue and green rangers were struggling to understand how they’d suffered yet another defeat at the hands of the yellow bear ranger.

“But that’s not-”

“How did you even-”

Summer handed the pool stick to Ziggy with a smile and took her empty red solo cup from Flynn. She called cheekily over her shoulder as she headed into the kitchen. “Let me know when you’ve had some practice.”

At the punch bowl on the breakfast bar, Summer refilled her cup and grabbed a seat on one of the high stools around it. She took a sip and surveyed the garage.

A week had passed since the Rangers had defeated Venjix. They’d finally cleaned up the destruction in the lab and rebuilt the city’s Command Center, so a night of celebrations and relaxation was in order before they headed off in different directions for the rest of the year. They’d gone all out for the party in true RPM style: lights, garlands, drinks and snacks with music blasting from Flynn’s blue Hummer.

Scott Truman sat with Dr K on the leather couch near the pool table, as Ziggy and Flynn set up a new game of pool. Summer watched with amusement as the red ranger tried to explain the game's objectives, with flagging patience, in response to the good doctor’s endless questions. From a nearby armchair, Tenaya listened intently to the two, raising questions of her own ever so often. Recently freed from Venjix’s control, she was still a little shy and understandably overwhelmed. She kept her distance a bit but was still willing to be involved in the conversation.

The sound of a whirring drill from the left of the garage broke Summer’s focus. She glanced over to see Gem and Gemma working on some kind of experiment as usual if the tangle of wires, bolts and explosives on the aluminium workstation was anything to go by.

Gemma waved excitedly, screwdriver in hand when she caught Summer’s gaze. She shared a knowing smile with the blonde ranger and pointed in the direction of the garage door with an exaggerated wink. Summer blushed and ducked her head in thanks, leaving her cup on the table as she made her way outside.

She found him leaning on the front of the Fury, looking up at the dome’s artificial night’s sky. He was the ultimate picture of the lone wolf black ranger; brows creased in deep thought, arms folded across his broad chest.

Summer was well aware that he knew she was coming closer - enhanced hybrid hearing and all - but she tapped on the hood of the black muscle car anyway to alert him of her presence. They’d been spending a lot more time together since the Rangers’ victory but he still liked to take some time away on his own. She didn’t want to disturb him if he wanted to be alone.

“I thought your brooding days would be over now that you’ve found your sister,” she teased as she stopped in front of the car.

Dillon chuckled as he looked over at her through his dark, shaggy bangs. “This is actually my happy face.”

He extended his arm in a silent invitation for her and she carefully settled next to him on the bonnet of the black muscle car.

“Sometimes,” Dillon began, still focused on the sky, “I look at the moon and the stars here and wonder what the real things are like outside of the dome. It was hard to see it during my time in the Waste Lands but now with Venjix gone, there aren’t any toxic gases to block the view.”

Summer hummed and waited for him to continue.

“The war is over and everyone’s going back to their old lives, but Tenaya and I don’t remember what life was like for us before.” He sighed and looked over at her, “But we do want to find out what the world out there is like without Venjix. We’ll get to know each other, snuff out any remaining factions and try to help hybrids like us who are looking to start over. I mean I wouldn’t call it soul searching, but if we found ourselves out there that would be great too.”

“Oh..” Summer whispered a little deflated, “that... sounds like a good plan.”

Dillon watched as the emotions flashed across Summer’s face till she gave him a half-smile. She could hardly hide her surprise though when he took her hand in his and laced their fingers together.

“But,” Dillon started with his signature smirk, coming around to stand between her legs at the front of the car, “if you’re not in a hurry to go back to life as a princess, I was hoping you’d consider coming too.”

With his free hand, he tucked a stray curl behind her ear, his dark eyes never leaving her bright hazel ones. “With us...With me…Ouch! Hey!”

“That wasn’t funny!” Summer grumbled, smacking him repeatedly on his chest for her momentary distress.

Dillon laughed as he pulled her closer to him, taking her other hand as well to make sure he didn’t get hit again. He leaned his forehead against hers. “So, what do you say?”

Summer couldn’t help the relieved laugh that bubbled up but she wasn’t gonna make it that easy for him. She suppressed a smile as she brushed her nose lightly against his, watching as his long lashes fluttered. “Exploring the world with a rebellious hybrid and his sweet sister? Why would I want to do that?” She challenged playfully.

Dillon knew she was baiting him, teasing him as usual but he was more than willing to bite. He closed the gap between them, sealing their lips with a tentative kiss. When he was certain she wasn’t going to slap him again, he increased the urgency, revelling in her sighs and the feel of her soft lips against his as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

They’d both been anticipating this moment, having been denied twice recently, so the thought of stopping even for a second seemed ridiculously absurd. Between kisses, the black wolf ranger tried his best to convince Summer.

“Because,” he mumbled against her lips, “even when I have the best intentions... I can’t promise I won’t do anything crazy... And I’m definitely going to get into trouble… But there’s no one else...out there... I’d trust to save me... but you.”

Arms still wrapped around him, Summer hummed as she tried to catch her breath. Dillon took smug satisfaction in the dreamy look on her flushed face when he pulled back.

“I’m in,” Summer smiled and it was Dillon’s turn to breathe a sigh of relief- not that he’d admit it, “but I have one condition,” she added mischievously. “I get to drive the Fury if we ever encounter a tornado — Dillon!”

Summer squealed as he picked her up and spun her around for her cheeky comment. Laughing with her, he set her back down on the car and leaned in for another kiss…

“Get a room!”

“Whipped!”

Scott and Flynn both coughed dramatically as they made their way out of the garage to settle themselves on a lowered wall to their left. Dillon rolled his eyes at their antics while Summer buried her face against his chest in embarrassment.

Tenaya filed out after the rangers, smirking at the couple. “Finally.”

“Really?” Dillon scoffed at his sister, “You too?”

Tenaya shrugged as she crossed in front of them to sit on the ledge with the boys.

“Don’t listen to them,” Ziggy began as he perched himself too close to the couple on the hood of the Fury, oblivious of Dillon’s exasperation. Summer placated his pending outburst with a hand to his chest as Ziggy droned on.

“We’re all happy for you crazy lovebirds. Took you long enough with all those longing looks and flirty lines. Though I’m not really sure how such a grouchy cyborg scored a sunny babe like Summer. N-not that I’ve been looking or anything! You should at least think about coming up for air before you miss the show—Ahh!”

Ziggy let out a shout as Dr K dragged him off the car by his ear and pulled him along to the ledge opposite where the others were sitting. “Ranger Operator Series Green,” she scolded, “Ranger Operators Series Black and Yellow do not require your analysis of their blossoming relationship nor do I believe that they appreciate your close proximity while they engage in a lip lock.”

The gang howled with laughter at her statement, much to the confusion of the young doctor.

“Thanks, doc… I think,” Dillon shook his head, turning in Summer’s arms so that he was facing outward again.

Summer ignored the rising blush on her cheeks and directed her attention at Ziggy. “What show?”

“The light show-”

“-to celebrate our victory!”

Gem and Gemma gushed excitedly as they rushed out to join the others, wearing large headphones and each carrying a detonator.

“A big win-”

“-Requires a big explosion!” The duo cheered, exchanging high-fives.

Dillon wasn’t so convinced as he arched an eyebrow at the Boom Twins. “Right. Because that’s exactly what the traumatized citizens on Corinth need— unexpected explosions.”

“I understand your concern, Ranger Operator Series Black,” Dr K admitted, “and we did take that into consideration when we cleared it with Colonel Truman. By tapping into the new configuration at the Command Centre, we were able to integrate reverberation retention technology into the dome’s shield so when the explosions go off in the biofield, we can redirect the noise elsewhere. It’s similar to the programme used to rid of the stale air in the dome.”

“So we designed it so that everyone can see it,” Gemma began.

“But only we get to hear it go BOOM!” Gem finished, pointing to his headphones.

The silver and gold rangers pushed their buttons without further delay and the team joined with the rest of Corinth as they watched the silent fireworks light up the night’s sky.

Summer rested her chin on Dillon’s shoulder and whispered to him. “I’m going to miss this.”

Dillon looked around at the eccentric bunch. They got on his nerves but they weren’t half bad most of the time. He’d started off as a reluctant teammate - joining only due to Summer’s persuasion - but these people had become trustworthy friends who helped him to fight off the Venjix virus inside of him and find the only family he seemed to have left.

Without them, he wouldn’t have plans to see the new world with the one who made him rethink his Lone Ranger act. He’d tried to keep them all at a distance, but she’d melted his icy heart somehow and cared for him through all of it, even when he seemed to be more machine than man.

Dillon turned to kiss Summer on the cheek. “Me too.”

[ds-ts-smut-fics]

Far From Home [Chapter Four]

Chapter One

Read on Ao3

Synopsis: Remus and Logan arrive at the swamp and find things are not as they expected. 

Trigger Warnings: NSFW, explicit sex scene, demonic possession, DnD-typical violence, lmk if i missed anything!

Words: 6,422

A/N: Explicit sex scene at the very end of this chapter, there'll be a paragraph in bold where it starts so you can stop reading there, you won't miss anything past the sex. Also: Remus and Logan are level 6 after this chapter! I gave Remus another level in Bard, and he chose the College of Whispers per Adelaide's request, and as far as I know, Logan picked another level in Monk. I honestly didn't expect this battle to be so difficult, I almost killed the both of us several times :)

It only took half an hour to arrive at the outer edges of the swamp. 

Remus hopped off Juniper and walked a little ahead so he could warn Logan to get her out of the way if needed. The swamp was quiet aside from the occasional buzzing or calling of insects, and the gloopy, sucking footsteps of their group. The fog was too dense to see very far ahead. 

Making a small face, he ducks a hanging vine. "I hate it already… any signs yet?" 

“Yeah, I’m picking up some tracks,” he murmured, eyebrow furrowed in confusion. “Didn’t you say the hag is a little girl?” 

"They usually attain full form at 12 or 13, kinda a shitty thing really, not becoming an adult human but a disgusting creature. Why?" Squinting, he tries to see what Remus does. 

“These footprints are huge.” He looked up and tried to see through the fog to no avail. “How big do hags become?” 

"Like, human adult size I think? How big are the prints… Oh dear, was she coming here because her mother was here and is teaching her to hunt?!"

“What?” Remus laughed and looked up. “What are you talking about?”

"Sorry… My mind jumped to terrible scenarios of death. Show me what you mean, Remus?" Sliding down carefully, he waits for Remus to point out what he's seen.

“I still don’t… Really know what you mean, but…” He laughed and squatted down to one of the footprints. “This. Can you tell what that is?” 

"Oh dear… That's not a hag… That's a giant of some variety." He looks around them carefully. "We should not go that way maybe?"

Remus pulled out the map of the swamp given to them by Lucinda. He squinted at it. “The Blackmarsh Ruins are in the centre of the swamp… We can try to go around but I don’t want to waste too much time. Maybe we could leave Juniper here and try to stay hidden?”

Humming, Logan nods. "Probably for the best… I don't want her getting hurt." 

Remus pet her for a moment and kissed her snout, then helped Logan down. 

She nudges Remus gently before wandering to the edge of the swamp to find some grass to graze on. Logan smiles as he leans on Remus gently. "Mmm… So, lead the way, my dear?"  

“Yeah. Get down.” 

They crept close to the dense foliage, using the fog as cover, as they headed towards the ruins. Remus frowned in confusion as they stopped about ten feet away from tall, rickety walls. They were haphazardly made with jagged, cut tree trunks and nails sticking out or bent. 

Two half-ogres towered near an entrance, grunting at each other, each brandishing an axe with huge blades and fairly short hilts. 

Remus swallowed and gripped onto Logan’s arm to keep him from continuing. 

A moment later, another half-ogre came out of the entrance. Remus held his breath. Eyes following Remus' line of sight, Logan ducks a little more, trying to figure out a way past. This isn't good… they're too big, too many to try and fight.

Remus gripped Logan’s hand, mind reeling with fragments of plans. 

The half-ogres grunted at each other for a few minutes, before a fourth one came out, snapping and yelling at the other three. 

Stroking Remus' knuckles, Logan points backwards, gesturing for a silent retreat. Remus looked at him in surprise and shook his head. 

Arching an eyebrow, Logan raises 4 fingers questions in his eyes. You think we can take all 4, Rem? 

Under his breath, Remus snapped, “I’m not leaving.” 

He looked back to the half-ogres, only to find one staring right at him. He ripped his hand from Logan’s and sprinted away, closer to the wall. 

Logan curses softly, creeping closer and aiming to position himself behind the group that is now thoroughly distracted by Remus. 

Remus pulled out his sickles as one of the half-ogres pointed him out and the others ran towards him. Adelaide’s voice crept under Remus’ as he narrowed his eyes and snapped under his breath. One of them stopped and flinched. It roared in frustration and shook his head. 

It charged at Remus and attacked with the battleaxe, Remus jumping out of the way before it could hit. Another one came up right behind the first, cutting a slash across Remus’ arm. Remus grit his teeth and hissed in pain. 

Spotting Logan, the fourth ogre points and bellows before hurling a javelin at the new opponent, missing by a wide margin, but alerting his counterparts that there are two attackers. The last ogre decides to swing at Logan with his battle axe but gets too excited and slips on a patch of muddy grass, missing as well.

Logan grins, deciding to strike the one that had attacked Remus with his sword, slicing in deeply and grinning widely as the blood sprays. Remus sliced twice with his sickles, letting out an angry yell. One slammed hard into a half-orgre’s face, leaving a large, bleeding crack, his other sickle flying over the ogre’s head. 

The half-ogre grunted and straightened itself up, its body already battered, bruised, and bloody. It brought its battleaxe over Remus’ head, only for its eyes to roll back as it stumbled, the axe landing harmlessly in the ground. The half-ogre next to it ran to attack Remus as well, and tripped over the fallen axe, landing on the grass. 

Axe now in hand, the one that had tried to javelin Remus swipes at Logan, deciding to avoid the dark little fury for now, missing again in his shock over two comrades tripping over themselves. 

The last one also swings at Logan, hitting him hard in the side and making him wheeze out a shocked breath before turning to swing back and return the favor. 

Remus’ eyes widened, fear jolting through him. He dashed between the two ogres’ legs, yelling as an axe came down on the back of his calf, and brought his sickles down on the ogre that hit Logan. The ogre yelled in rage and pain, falling to its knees and struggling to stand.

The half-ogre that had gotten Remus’ leg turned with thunderous stomps. It bought its axe up, wheezing through pained breaths, and lost hold of its axe. It screamed as the axe fell onto its foot. The last ogre snapped a few things in Giant and readied a javelin. 

The javelin soared through the air and buried itself in Logan’s arm, poking out the other side as he curses and staggers a little. 

The healthiest half ogre grins and swings at Logan hard, axe digging in and sending him to the ground with a spray of blood, just barely conscious. The last ogre claps its hands when it goes to swing, dropping its axe on its own foot. 

Logan pants hard, hand glowing as he heals himself a little with ki and fumbles for a potion of healing, drinking deeply. Remus fumbled for his own health potion, taking the biggest vial. Remus’ wounds healed over, the red liquid glowing under his skin as it rushed through his body. He ripped a small pouch from his belt and tossed it, a thousand shiny metal balls rolling over the ground. Remus forced an encouraging smile to Logan. 

One of the half-ogres jumped out of the way just as the ball bearings came out, the other charging at Logan and slipping hard, landing on his axe. He bled out on the ground. 

One of the ogres struggled to its feet, panting and huffing in rage. It turned to Remus and brought its axe up to attack, and Remus easily stepped out of the way. 

Shifting carefully the other two remaining ogres stand, the first not caring and running at Remus but his wild swing misses and he falls again with a heavy thud. The last one is a bit more careful, swinging at Logan who's a closer target, but he also misses.

Logan chuckles, using the panicked swing to slice under its arm and send it to the ground.  Remus took a second with heavy breathing to take in the situation, the half-ogre at the brink of death, the ones beat up and staggering, the last who hadn’t been hit once. Remus squeezed his eyes shut, panic coursing through his system. 

Let me help. 

“Fuck off, Adelaide,” he groaned under his breath, and brandished his sickles. 

He ran to one of the half-ogres attacking Logan and leapt, landing on the ogre’s back and bringing his sickles down hard. The sickles squelched into its head, and all of its muscles tensed and locked under Remus’ thighs. Remus landed on his feet as the ogre fell, dead. 

The ogre with the crack to the face snarled at Remus. It turned to leave, and Remus sliced his sickle out in panic, slashed it in the back of the head but it kept running and disappeared into the walled ruins. 

"That can't be good…" Logan hums softly, watching the other ogre slowly back up to follow. "Give chase or let them be?"

Remus growled in frustration. “We won’t be able to catch up, let’s finish this!” 

Logan nods, sending one of his darts at the slower ogre, hitting it hard as he runs their way. 

Grinning wickedly, Logan nods, tossing another dart and whooping softly as it drops dead, skidding to a halt to look for the one that got all the way to the ruins. All that laid ahead was the sunken, rotting frames of the old buildings. Sloppy footsteps trailed towards the most put-together building in sight, an inn half-sunken into the mud. 

Remus got on his hands and knees to find his ball bearings. “How are you feeling?” 

Kneeling to help, he hums, assessing. "Not dead yet, you?" 

Finding the majority of them and securing them back on his belt, Remus rolled his shoulders and cracked his back. “Would’ve been dead if not for that potion. Fine now, though. If you’re good, we should keep moving in case the ogre gets back with more help.” 

"I hear that loud and clear…" Touching his chest, he uses his ki once more to patch up more of his wounds. "I know I almost passed out myself." 

Remus grabbed his hand and stared at him seriously. “You can leave. Go back to Juniper and wait in town, let me handle this myself.” 

Squeezing Remus' hand, he shakes his head, lifting it to kiss him softly. "I can't do that. I promised to be your support, dear. We promised to go after this sea hag together and that's what we'll do." 

Remus took in a shaky breath and sighed. “Okay. Let’s go.” 

Remus crouched down as they moved through the ruins, heading slowly towards the inn. Remus stopped a few times to listen, but there was only silence. Logan slides along carefully, martial training helping him to blend into the scenery as he keeps an eye out, cleaning his weapons after tugging the darts out of the one he felled with them.

Remus gestured for Logan to wait as he scouted forward, creeping up to one of the broken windows. He peeked inside. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 

Two sea hags hid behind the counter, just barely poking out. Neither of them had silver hair. The half-ogre that had gotten away stood poised by the door, battleaxe raised. One of the hags narrowed her eyes and her gaze snapped to Remus’. 

“Motherfucker,” he snapped under his breath and pulled out his sickles. 

Without waiting for Logan, he kicked the door down and attacked the half-ogre. Remus barely managed to miss, yelling in frustration. Remus slashed with his sickles again, blood pouring from the half ogre’s wounds. 

Whistling softly, Logan leans in and stabs at the ogre, sending it down in a gurgle of blood, dead. As Logan came into the inn, Silver dropped from the ceiling in an attempt to grapple him. Logan leapt out of the way just in time for her to land on the ground and snarl at him. 

“You bitch, you should’ve never come here,” she snapped. 

The two sea hags hidden behind the counter jumped at the sight of their dead bodyguard. The one with long, dripping wet seaweed hair read from an old book, the other two joining in on the chants. A cone of sickening green light launched out to Logan. 

The smaller, thinner hag snarled at Remus and charged him with her claws. Remus ducked out of the way with a gasp. Remus came at her with his sickles, growling in frustration. She hissed as a cut opened on her cheek. 

Slicing at the closest antagonist, Logan hums. "I'm not a bitch, I'm a monk!" 

Silver leapt at him, blinded by her rage and slashing uselessly with her claws. The two hags in the bag chanted together, and a blast of lightning shot out towards Remus. Remus’ eyes widened but he couldn’t jump away in time. His entire body convulsed, his skin smoking, and he fell unconscious on the ground. 

"Remus!!" Logan screams out and slashes at Silver harshly. 

Remus fought to get up, to open his eyes, his entire body heavy and burning. He let out a little whimper, his fingers twitching. 

Kneeling, Logan takes his hand channeling his ki to help him heal. The hags’ laughter echoed through the inn, their chants growing louder. Silver grinned and held her hand out, fingers spread, and clenched her fist. 

Her grin faded as Logan straightened up, the spell a fail. The long-haired hag leapt over the counter and tossed the book to the thinner one, tearing into Logan’s throat with her claws. The third one flipped through the book in panic. 

Remus gasped and sat up, looking around and taking in the situation. “Fuck,” he groaned, and staggered to his feet. “You ugly, evil fuck,” he snapped at the thin hag, casting vicious mockery. 

The hag dropped the book to hold her head, yelling. 

Panting a little, Logan takes stock, striking at Silver with his sword and fist, slicing her up and pushing her back away from him a little. 

Silver’s eyes locked on Logan, then slipped over his shoulder, at the tiefling spitting magic insults at her mom and sister. She pushed past Logan with a growl and lunged for Remus. 

The mother hag glared Remus and slashed at him as well, bringing him to his knees and wheezing for breath. The sister chanted quietly, eyes focused on Logan. She growled in frustration as Logan once again refused the Hold Person. 

Remus crawled backwards, back against a soggy wall, and fumbled for the last health potion in his bandolier. He gulped it down and chucked away the empty vial, leaving it shattered on the ground. Slicing out at Silver with a small grunt, Logan takes out and chugs his potion, straightening up a little more as he drops the vial. She spat blood on the ground, panting heavily, hair ragged. 

Silver turned and rushed for the exit. Logan stepped in front of her and pushed her back, his and Remus’ blades sinking into her. back and stomach. She gasped and tensed, then fell over, dead. 

“NO!” The mother hag heaved for breath, staring at her dead daughter. 

The sister hag chanted angrily, the mother quickly joining in. 

Remus’ eyes dilated. He swore his hands were still at his side but he watched them bring up his sickles and decapitate Logan, listened to Adelaide’s laughter echo as Logan’s head rolled. He stumbled back, as far back as he could, pressing against the wall. 

"Remus? C'mon… Whatever you saw, it's not real!" Stepping in towards the hags, Logan growls softly, stalking them and swinging as soon as they're in range, missing due to his rage but he gets her on the backswing across the face. 

“You killed my daughter,” she hissed, the sister chanting in the background. “You will regret that!” 

"So far… not really?" He smirks as he shakes off another wave of magic with a laugh.

She pushed past him with a growl, the sister following with their book. 

She screamed as Logan’s short sword speared through the pages. He ripped it up, splitting the book in half. She fumed, but her and her remaining daughter rushed out and disappeared into the fog. 

Remus panted, chest heaving, blinking frantically and looking around. 

Turning to Remus, Logan tries to calm him. "Remus? Can you hear me, hun?" 

“Logan?” He panted. He reached up and cupped Logan’s face, then sighed in relief, pressing their foreheads together. 

Wrapping Remus in a hug, he nods, nuzzling softly. "Yeah, baby… I'm right here." 

Remus looked up. “Where did they go?” 

Gesturing with his sword, he hums. "That way… I did get a parting shot on that book they were always flipping through though!" 

Remus dropped his head on Logan’s shoulder. “Fuck,” he sighed. “They got away.” 

Stroking Remus' hair, Logan nods. "I let them go because you are more important to me… We killed their guards and Silver… We can heal up and track them. They can't have gone far!"

He nodded. “Yeah. Have you found the prisoners?” 

"Why don't we look now? Take a quick search through on our way?" 

Remus pushed himself to his feet. He pressed two fingers to his own forehead, and two to Logan’s. 

Leaning into the touch happily, Logan sighs softly, feeling strength return and wounds heal up more. "Mmm, kiss me, dear one?"

He hesitated. He kissed Logan’s cheek, then said, “We have a job to do.” He squeezed his hand and searched through the inn. 

"I know…. Just had to reassure myself that you're here and safe." He helps check the area with a small smile.

Remus still reeling from his hallucinations, struggling to stop the tremor in his hand, it was mostly up to Logan to find the kidnapped villagers. He quickly came across a locked door. 

Remus came up with a frown. He reached into his skirt for his thieves’ tools. He gets it open quickly, and a thick, heavy stench rolled out. 

Gagging a little, Logan chokes quietly. "Oh dear… That can't be good."

Remus grimaced as he stared into the room. Amongst the dozens of dead bodies were four live ones, two small children, a woman, and a man. 

Logan offers his hands out to help them out of the room. "I promise you're safe now."

The group of them stumbled away from the bodies, all dirty and half-starved, and fell into Logan’s and Remus’ arms. Remus fumbled for his waterskin as Adelaide cackled, poked fun at their expressions and appearances. Remus grimaced and helped the children drink. 

Offering some rations from his belt pouch, Logan makes sure the ones that came to him have water as well, almost chuckling as the boy that resembles Ginger touches his horns. "You seem to be a hit with the small ones again, darling!"

Remus blushed. “Let’s get them to Juniper and back to town.” 

Remus let the small ones climb onto him, Ginger’s brother riding on his back while the girl clung to his front. 

Helping the adults back to the meadow where they left Juniper, Logan smiles gently as the kids cling to Remus. It's honestly adorable how good he is with kids. They trust him.

Logan and Remus got the adults settled on Juniper, while Remus let the kids cling to him. 

“When we get back to town, where should we bring you?” Remus asked. 

The kids just giggle and cling more, but the adults look at each other before saying, "The healing house." 

Logan hums, showing their map and having the woman point it out for them. "I'm guessing you prefer to be checked over before heading to your homes."

The woman nodded. “Yeah. Not that we can’t wait to go home, we just… We’re worried.”

"Understandable!" Logan clicks to Juniper, leading her along the path back to town.  "I can look over you a little first, if that helps at all? I just want to get a little further away from the swamps first." 

They consented with little nods. Remus took watch while Logan carefully examined them, finding them to be bruised, cut up a bit, half-starved and dehydrated, but far from death’s bed. Reporting what he's found and bandaging the small cuts, he smiles softly. "All set… Another little snack and maybe we drop each of you off at your home?" 

Remus pulled his water skin off his belt and shook it a moment. “There’s not much left, but this should tide you over until we get back to the Villas.” 

They all nodded, accepting the food Remus handed them from his rations. They got everyone back to the Villas without problem, dropping the woman and the little girl off at their homes in the residential sector and heading to the orphanage to drop off Ginger’s brother. 

"We'll have to resupply and rest before we try to find those two again… Or should let the guards try round 2?" Knocking on the door of the orphanage again, Logan hums softly.

“I don’t know,” Remus mumbled. “Maybe we should just tell Lucinda what route we’re taking, have her send after us if they return.”

The door opened and Laucion’s eyes practically bulged out of their sockets at the sight of Ginger’s brother. Laucion barely managed to catch him as the small child hurled himself at him. 

Grinning, Logan nods, watching with soft eyes. "Mmm… they can deal with the others that weren't as lucky perhaps?" 

“Yeah,” Remus sighed. 

“Thank you,” Laucion said dumbly. “Just… Thank you. I- I don’t even know what to say, I thought…” 

Logan smiles softly. "It's okay, I understand. It's why we knew we had to help. I'm sorry we didn't come through sooner." 

“Is there anything I can do for you two? Anything at all?” 

Looking at Remus, Logan is a little at a loss, he can't really come up with anything. 

“Here, I have an idea. Wait right here.” 

Laucion disappeared inside, and a few minutes later, came back without Ginger’s brother. He gestured for Logan and Remus to hold out their hands, and put a smooth, round stone in each of their palms. 

“Do you know what these are?” 

Logan turns it in his hands, shaking his head. "I confess that I only know this is lovely?"

Laucion laughed. “They’re sending stones. Keep one on each of you and if you ever get separated, you can use them to talk once a day.” 

"Oh! That's lovely!" Grinning broadly, he carefully tucks it away. "Thank you, so much!" 

“Thank you for bringing him back. Ginger was so overjoyed, I…” He clapped them both on the shoulder. “I spoke to Lucinda for you. She should have a small cash reward for your troubles. Please, come back to the Villas any time, okay?” He laughed. “We could use your help.” 

Logan grins. "Thank you indeed… Not necessary, but thank you! We should get this gentleman home, but pass along good wishes to Ginger and her brother? They're lovely kids!"

“I will. Have a good night.” He smiled and shut the door behind him. 

Remus fit the stone in his bandolier and met back up with the last man. “Where to?” 

"Wherever our last friend needs to go, I'd like to see them all home safe before we stop by the guard station." Logan hums softly, gesturing for the man to direct him as he helps him back onto Juniper. 

Taking the reins, the halfling guides Juniper gently, smiling. "If I know my husband, he's in the shop or storefront. Alberic is such a workaholic when he's worried." 

Remus let out a quiet breath of relief. “We’ve met him. He was really worried. Let’s get you home.” 

Chuckling softly, Arlan hums, hurrying Juniper along and smiling more the closer they get to the shop. "Poor thing falls apart without me, I think. He can't cook for beans."

Remus tied up Juniper’s reigns when they arrived at the blacksmith. He rapped on the door, tapping his foot impatiently. 

Logan helps Arlan down before hugging Remus gently. "Patience, my dear."

The door swung open, Alberic staring up at them with wide eyes. “Well?” 

Arlan sighs, stepping up where he can be seen and opening his arms. "I've missed you too, you great grump!" 

Alberic pushed past the heroes and threw himself into Arlan’s arms. Remus laughed and stepped next to Logan. 

Arlan sighs, wrapping around his husband. "Mmm, there you are, darling." 

Logan whispers softly, arm wrapping around Remus in a gentle embrace. "This is so pure…" 

Alberic looked up with watery eyes. “Please, come inside. I have gifts.”

Remus and Logan followed him to the counter as he dug around underneath. He pulled out a large crate, recognizable a ghost blade and two very sharp sickles sitting inside. 

“I also scrounged up some health potions, and, oh, this one is fun,” he tapped a small jar filled with gray smoke, like he’d pickled a stormcloud, “and, Logan, I saw you work with darts, and I noticed your quiver, Remus. I managed to make you three sedative darts and two poison arrows.” 

"Oh my… This is all so much! Thank you, we have to at least offer some kind of payment." Logan looks a little overwhelmed at all the gifts, being used to a simple existence. 

Arlan hums softly. "A lovely set of gifts, my dear! Perfect for such kind gentlemen!"

He blushed. “You brought my husband back alive. Please take it, or I’ll never be able to forgive myself.” 

Remus shifted uncomfortably. “If you're serious about it… Um, thank you.” ((Go ahead and add 1 standard healing and 1 greater healing to your inv))

Logan shifts a little as well, shy but thankful. "Well… if you insist, thank you. Thank you very much. We should at least give you our previous weapons as stock for upgrading so you're not out as much material." 

“Of course,” Remus said and pulled out his old sickles. “Thank you.”

Trading out his short sword for the ghost blade, Logan makes a gentle bow. "May you live long and prosper, thank you very much." 

Arlan smiles, kissing his husband's cheek. "You're most welcome! Get some rest soon? You've earned it as well as our respect!"

Remus blushed and nodded. “We’re going to visit Lucinda, then get some dinner in the inn. We actually need to get moving tomorrow.” 

Logan nods softly. "Indeed. The last two sea hags were wounded and fled, but we focused on the prisoners first. We might be back through at some point though?"

Remus nodded. “We don’t want to leave you vulnerable. Just… Don’t get too comfortable.” 

Alberic nodded somberly and came to Arlan, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “We know how to defend ourselves. You should get to Lucinda before she closes up office.” 

Smiling a little, Logan pats Juniper in thanks for her work before swinging up into the saddle again. "Certainly. We'll definitely do our best to track them down on our way to the next town too. See you later!"

The husbands waved, and Remus and Logan brought Juniper back down to the stables. Remus gave each worker a silver in thanks and followed Logan to town hall. 

They came up to the desk. “Lucinda is expecting us,” Remus said. 

Logan bit back a grin as the desk worker scurried off, obviously having heard some rumors about them. She came back out and Lucinda appeared in the doorway, waving Logan and Remus inside. She gestured to the seats across the desk, sitting herself. 

“Tell me what happened.” 

Sitting easily, Logan hums, explaining what had happened briefly, obviously a bit proud that he'd been right about the sea hag and that the young girl was one, and tapping a map on her desk to show where the bodies could be found, he explains their plans for the next day. 

She nodded, her face twisted in a grimace. “Very well. Thank you for helping Blackmarsh Villas. Since two of the hags went free and could come back any day now, I simply can’t afford to give you the full reward, I hope you understand that. Nevertheless, I did scrape something up for you.” 

She pulled two tiny pouches from her desk and placed one in front of each of them. “That’s one hundred platinum each. I hope it’s enough.” 

"But of course. I wasn't expecting a reward, but thank you for doing what you can. If we do come across them and dispatch the two remaining hags, shall we send you word?" Taking the pouch, he counts it carefully before tucking it away.

Remus choked. 

Logan gently pats his knee, also a little flustered by the amount, he tries not to show it. 

“Is there anything else I can do for you two?”

“Um…” Remus swallowed and pulled out his map of the continent. He laid it out on the desk and dragged his finger along as he spoke. “This is the route we’re taking to Maeston Coast. If those hags become a problem again, you can send a courier to catch up with us and we’ll come back.” 

She nodded once. “Very well. Anything else?”

"I believe that's all we have to discuss with you. Thank you for your time." Standing slowly, Logan gives a short bow. 

Remus scrambled to his feet and sloppily copied, then grabbed his platinum and rushed out of the office. 

Following Remus out, he gives him a gentle hug as soon as they're out of the building, whispering in his ear. "I'm so proud of us, my dear!"

Remus blushed and hugged him awkwardly, then led him towards the tavern. “I mean, we could have done better. Two hags got away. We almost died, like, a couple of times.” 

"Well, yeah, but…  we came out alive, four half ogres and a hag is dead and hopefully shredding their book will help take them down later!" Following him easily, he hums softly. 

Remus nodded slowly. “Yeah… I guess that’s true. God, I just- I’m exhausted. Let’s get something to eat and go to bed, okay? We can stop by the bathhouse before hitting the road tomorrow?”

"Okay. I can definitely get behind that… Or we can see if we can take advantage of the bathhouse to relax and sleep better?" Letting Remus lean on him gently, he smiles. 

“Curfew,” Remus reminded sadly. “If we don’t get in the tavern soon, we’ll be in trouble.” 

Logan chuckles. "I forgot honestly. Alright. Food and bed it is. Maybe we can get some warm water brought up and I can give you a sponge bath, dear?"

Remus blushed bright red. “If you want.” 

They made it to the tavern and while they waited on their food, Remus popped open the window beside them and pulled out his pipe— black, wooden, very old. He didn’t use it often, but he was exhausted and his body thrummed in pain. When he lit it up, white smoke came out the top, shaped like skulls. 

Settling near him, Logan encourages Remus to lean, rubbing small circles in his knee in a gentle pattern he'd learned from Patton for stress. Remus sighed happily and leaned his head on Logan’s shoulder as the drugs lessened Remus’ aches. Their food came quickly, hot and at a discount, and Remus practically choked it down. 

Nearly moaning, Logan eats quickly as well, some of his usual trained grace disappearing in the face of hunger. Remus put his pipe away and they finished eating, then stumbled upstairs. Remus fell into bed with a groan. 

Following, Logan locks the door as he balances the jug of hot water and rags he'd asked the kitchen for. "Mmm, strip for me, baby~?"

Remus blushed and took a second to collect himself, before sitting up. He peeled off his trenchcoat and the scraps he used for a shirt, and kicked his skirt off. Watching with a smile, Logan prepares a bowl with water and some soap as well as one with just water to rinse. 

"Such a lovely one you are, dear. Lay out for me to clean? I'll let you choose if I start on your front or back… but I will clean you everywhere~!"

His face was redder than ever. He rolled back onto his stomach so he could hide his face in the pillows. 

Logan grins a little, starting on his hooves and working up with gentle scrubbing and massaging strokes. "Going to pamper every inch of you, my dear~!"

Remus couldn’t figure what he did to deserve Logan. He pushed those thoughts away before they could get too overwhelming, and forced himself to relax under Logan’s touch. He rustled around until he found his flute and quickly cast minor illusion so Virgil could curl against his shoulder and neck. 

Smiling as he sees the comfort illusion show up, Logan hums, fingers gently digging into the muscles of Remus' back and ass to release tension. "Mmm, I see your lovely friend is back… I'm glad."

Remus blushed. “He’s a druid. He likes you, I’m sure.”

"I certainly hope so… He's your friend. I hope to be judged worthy of you~!" Nuzzling Remus' neck softly, he kisses the side Virgil isn't pressed against. 

Remus sighed happily and found himself lulling half-asleep with Virgil’s purrs and Logan’s gentle care. 

Stroking and rubbing, Logan hums lowly, massaging softly and slowly rolling Remus over carefully to start on his front as well. "My little one… So pretty and strong~!"

Remus let out a little whimper. “No…”

Dipping the rag into the water, he grins, kissing Remus' nipple. "Mmm, you are, baby~! Nearly got hit a couple times just watching you fight… You're too sexy~!"

Remus buried his face in his hands and arched his back. 

My god, you are too easy. 

"I'm half tempted to slide right into you and sleep with you just holding my cock for me, baby~!" Stroking softly, he keeps kissing and licking the small nubs as his fingers keep cleaning down Remus' body. 

Remus grinded against him weakly, his bones jelly. 

Stroking Remus' cock, he hums. "You're so tired though…. I don't want to take advantage of you." 

“Please,” he panted. “Feels… so good…”

"Feels so good to be full of cock, my dark darling~? Have I made you a cock hungry whore~?" Pressing a gentle finger over Remus' entrance, he rubs softly to test how open he is. 

Remus arched his back and spread his legs. “A-ah… fuck, yes- yes, sir…”

Lifting the spread legs, he hums, sliding in a finger followed by another as he feels the oil and cum still lubing him up. "Good~! And you're only mine, aren't you~?"

Remus went to answer, but something jolted painfully inside him. “Adelaide,” he choked out. 

"Oh, I know… but I mean other than us … you won't go bending over for just a person on the street to get your fix of cock, would you, baby~?" Kissing his lips, he hums. "Well, unless we told you to~?"

That sounds fun!

“Not unless you told me to,” he agreed weakly. 

"Such a good boy… So obedient~!" Kissing Remus again, he nips softly. "I won't do that unless you want to be watched being my little cock whore, and we have plenty of money right now~!"

Remus whimpered, thrusting his hips uselessly. 

What about an audience? Would you let Logan whore us out in plain sight? 

Rubbing over Remus' walls, he works in a third finger. "Then again, there are clubs that I've heard of where people pay just to watch others fuck… That could be nice, just having a room masturbating to the sight of you taking my cock and moaning like a back alley whore~ !"

“Fuck,” Remus whimpered. “Hnnng… God…”

Trading his fingers for his cock, Logan slowly rocks into Remus, hands on the spread thighs. "So needy to be filled and fucked~!"

“Yes, sir!” He thrust back against him with a whimper, eyes landing on the open curtains at the window. “Sir…”

"Mmm~? Is someone already getting a little show~?" 

“Sir, someone could see,” he gasped, clenching. 

"And~?" Fucking him harder, he slides one of Remus' legs up around his hip to press deeper. "They'll see you getting fucked and liking it, helpless under me~!"

He whimpered and sobbed out. 

Want him to ours you against the window, show everyone your sloppy hole? 

“Shut up, Adelaide,” he whined. 

"Could be worse, baby… I once bent someone over in the window itself, letting them moan out across the town, chest heaving as I fucked their ass good~!" Giving Remus' ass a soft spank, he grins. "Could do that again~?"

Remus eyes rolled back, unable to do anything but gasp and moan. 

Fucking right against his prostate, he spanks again, watching his reaction. "Mmm, I think maybe next time~?"

“Please,” Remus gasped. “Please, please, need…”

Holding Remus' hands above his head for better leverage, he fucks in deep and hard. "Cum, slut… Untouched and helpless, let that little cock make a tiny mess on your belly~!"

Remus came with a sob, thrusting his hips wildly. Cumming hard into Remus, Logan kisses him harshly, fucking the cum deep with their combined thrusts.

“Please, sir,” he whimpered. 

Wrapping Remus' hands around him, he slows his thrusts once he's satisfied with how his cum paints his walls. "Mmm, feels good to be fully claimed once more, baby~?"

“Yes, sir,” he panted. 

Stroking his hair, he smiles, laying over and inside him. "I'm right here, dear… That vision they showed you… it wasn't real. I'm not going anywhere. I've got you." 

“Thank you, master,” he panted, gripping onto him. 

Stroking and rubbing, he hums, kissing his skin softly. "You're welcome, my dear. It's only what you deserve…. my care, my affection, my protection, and all the pleasure I can provide."

Remus nuzzled into his neck, stretching out his legs. “You act like you owe me something.” 

Blushing, he smiles softly. "You gave me purpose, so I suppose that I do a little? However, I just like to care for any partner I have, Remus."

Remus peeked up at him. “You’re crazy.”

Logan snorts softly, cupping Remus' face and kissing him gently. "Perhaps…. but you like that I'm crazy!" 

He rolled his eyes and snuggled into him. “Goodnight.” 

Sliding the blankets up around them, he snuggles Remus close, letting their legs twine. "Mmm, goodnight, my dear."

[trashcatsnark]

thoughts on edens gate and fucking (long post, is mess)

Okay, so I’ve seen some takes about which is folks saying they don’t think the Seeds fuck. Some have been chill valid peeps, others have been less chill. 

Now I’m a dumb bitch who lacks the ability to shut up, so i decided to put my opinion out there. And to clarify, cause I always feel the need to, this is exactly that. It is my opinion which is worth however much you decide. My opinion does not invalidate yours and yours does not invalidate mine. At the end of the day, how we interpret characters in a vidya game is purely subjective and has no bearing on real life. It’s all just fun times, my dudes. 

This is gonna be long as fuck, so strap in folks

So, that being said, a lot of the reasons people are on the “peggies/the seeds don’t fuck” is because of this supposed No Fornication rule in the cult. However, in my own personal play through (which I might have missed who knows) the only evidence I find of this is through Hurk’s dialogue and sometimes a peggie will call you a fornicator in kind of an insulty way. Again, maybe I missed a note somewhere? Who knows, but these are the only indicators I’ve found/experienced.

However, I don’t think that’s a true indicator of the rule being legitimate and in place. As I said before in a more shitposty context, I think it is perfectly within reason that they may have told Hurk that there is a no fornication rule, because if you remember Hurk is a pervert. I think it is perfectly believable that they would tell him that to either A) make him stop hitting on every woman in the cult or B) to drive him away from the cult when they realized he’s gross. And before you say, “well the cult wants as many people as possible, they wouldn’t lie to drive him away just cause they didn’t like him.” Hurk has a line where he says, his buddies were being kidnapped, for some reason the cult didn’t take him. Hurk is an acquired taste of a human being and the cult is not a fan. 

As far as the insult goes, maybe that’s an indicator they don’t like fornication, I guess that might hold water. But, as I’ll explain in a bit, Peggies also say shit that contradicts that. So, I think it could just be as simple as that one peggie thinks we’re a fucking pervert. Hell at John’s ranch there is apparently a peggie who will say they think the deputy’s sin is lust, so maybe that peggie thought so too. 

So, now onto evidence that at least is as legitmate as those two things and goes against them. Note; I will not be mentioning Absolution in any of this, that book is not canonical and contradicts the game in many ways. I may like to borrow from it when I write, but that’s just a personal preference, the book is not canon in anyway shape or form. 

But, Sharky talks about John fucking. He has a line where he jokes that John has gotten the clap so many times, it became a standing ovation. Now, that could just be Sharky being a shit head, could be rumors, whatever. But, I think it hold as much water as what Hurk says, they’re both oddly lovable fuckin idiots. But take it with a grain of salt or dismiss if you want, I don’t control you. 

Secondly, and more damning in my opinion, is male peggies will mention keeping prisoners for breeding. Like????? If Edens Gate was so anti-sex, why the hell would peggies even mention that idea? Once the earth has been purged of sin, they’ll suddenly be allowed to fuck to procreate and fuck non-consenting parties as well? That seems extremely suspicious to me. 

Thirdly, there is a event? action? whatever that triggers sometimes in game where you will find a male peggie dragging a female civilian/resistance member by the ankle in the woods to some location to do something. Me and my friends who have played have seen this over and over again, and it is always a man peggie dragging a woman. Never has it spawned with the genders reversed, never has it spawned with members of the same gender. Now, does this mean for absolute certainty that man peggies are gonna do something sexual and non-consensual to the lady? No, men can do bad things to woman that aren’t sexual. And that can also happen with any combination of gender. However, that mixed with the idea that male peggies want prisoners to breed, I’mma file that under suspicious. 

Also, I’m pretty sure couples have joined the cult, obviously they’re prepared for babies in the bunkers, since John says in a letter to Nick and Kim that they’ve prepared things for babies and mothers. 

And maybe you hear all that and you go, no Snark, I still don’t buy it. There is no fornication rule in the cult, i will die on this hill, The peggies and the Seeds don’t fuck. And you know, maybe fornication is frowned upon in Eden’s Gate, maybe it is bad. And the peggies only mean to breed to repopulate once the collapse has passed or just for in the bunkers. 

But does that mean the Seeds listen to that rule? 

Maybe, maybe not. Cult leaders and religious figures as a whole, aren’t known for being reliable. In fact, a lot of ‘em are hypocrites. Tracey, granted not about sex, even says she saw through the Eden’s Gate bullshit because the Seeds are hypocrites. She says, the peggies weren’t allowed to be angry, but the Seeds were. And this didn’t change until the peggies anger was convenient for the cult and could be weaponized. Who says how deep that hypocrisy runs?

 And this is where I start to narrow in on John, because I think he exemplifies this shit the most. John has by far been the most hoed out Seed in this fandom. Even if he’s not the one you personally thot for, he’s the one most are willing to say is a very sexual person. And there’s canon backing to this, he’s in canon hinted to have some sort of attraction to the deputy, Adelaide sexualizes him. The closest one after that is probably Faith and for her it always is more focused on men sexualizing her, not her herself being a sexual person. 

Beyond that, the Book of Joseph (which while imo much for canon then absolution can still be argued how much is true) but it talks about John having struggled with his vices; namely drugs and sex. And that supposedly following the path of Eden’s Gate, absolving himself of his sins, he is now free of those vices. . 

But is he?

John is modeled largely after televangelists, who have a big history of being discovered to be criminals or sex perverts, just saying. In the Book of Joseph, Joseph talks about John being a chameleon. He puts on a face, he gives you that smile, he tells you whatever will make you say yes. 

A large idea in John’s storyline is that he still struggles with giving in to sin. Joseph tells him, he’s letting his sin ruin the baptism. But he’s supposedly absolved of all sins? So absolved that he absolves others? How does that make sense? Spoiler alert, John’s still a sinful man. His entire character is the idea of someone who pretends and presents himself as being this holy baptist, who shows you how to wash away sins, how to scrub yourself of vices, but is himself proof that it doesn’t work.

So, isn’t it possible, that he still struggles with and at times indulges with his vices? Sure, maybe he doesn’t wanna upset the project and Joseph, didn’t stop him from giving into wrath and trying to kill the deputy in the end. Didn’t stop any of the heralds in fact. 

I think it is completely valid and believable to think behind the scenes John is struggling and failing more with his vices than we realize. I don’t think it’s farfetched to believe John or any of the Seeds will tell you not to do something they do. They’re hypocrites, John shows this the most clearly and is the most logical one for it to potentially center around sex. But literally the entire game shows you why they’re all full of shit. 

Quite frankly, the only one who’s even close to honest is probaby Jacob who basically straight up tells you like “I don’t even fucking know if this god shit is real, but I think the world sucks and is gonna end, so fuck it”  And even he still has some hypocrisy, especially if you compare his ideology to what we supposedly see as being Eden’s Gate beliefs. But that’s a 9 page rant for another day.  But uh, in summary cause this is long enough. The Seeds and Peggies might fuck and thats cool. So if you write/art the seeds being whores, you’re fucking valid, go off. And if you don’t, you’re also valid. If you made it this far through this horrifically unplanned, meandering, mess of bullshit; gold star for you!. 

[ber-bonfamille-lyons]

It’s Not Christmas Till Somebody Cries || The Bonfamilles-Lyons

Summary: Ber tells his father the truth at Christmas. It goes.......... as well as you can expect. So, badly. 

@simba-bonfamille-lyons

@lou-bonfightme

@marie-a-bonfamille

tw: anxiety, panic attacks 

BERLIOZ: 

Christmas was nearly over. 

All in all, it wasn’t a horrible one. He’d had worst Christmases-- the first few one with his parents divorced sprang to mind, when the fights were fresh and it was always a war to figure out who would get the children for the longest. At least there was only one parent to deal with this year, and Pere was, honestly, the low maintenance parent. If he were to ever had someone stay at the cabin, it should be Pere. And he’d been a respectful guest, though Berlioz had never gotten over waking up and coming down to his father sitting at the table, legs crossed, paper in hand, coffee steaming in one of his and Simba’s novelty mugs. He didn’t look like the same man on the television. Like the man in the paper. Like the man in the crisp suits who missed more birthdays than he had ever made. 

Sitting at Berlioz and Simba’s table, he almost looked like a real father.

And so maybe that was why Ber had put off the whole reason for this visit. He thought about telling him at breakfast, and then telling him at dinners. He considered Christmas Eve, then chickened out and thought, yes, he’d wait until after the holidays entirely-- until December 26, in the last few hours before they had to take Hector to the train station so he might catch his flight home. 

And so Christmas came--  The Bonfamille-Lyons house bustled with people-- Marie and Lou and Nounou, Sarabi, Kiara, Ashlee. They ate cinnamon rolls and exchanged gifts. They lit a fire in the fireplace. Berlioz tried to help out for Christmas dinner and he was soon sent away, to drink whiskey with Pere and Lou on the front porch. They ate again. Ashlee left to go see her friends, and the sky grew dark. 

Now they gathered around the table for the third time in one day (so much bloody eating at Christmas) as Simba made to cut the pies, plural, because of course Simba had made many, many different pies. 

“You know, I realized,” mentioned Pere as he put down his small cup of black coffee on its saucer. “I don’t think your mother called today, oui? Did you talk to her last night?” He addressed all three of the Bonfamille children, his eyes darting from one to the next.

Berlioz slouched a little in his chair. 

MARIE:

Marie had been sort of dreading this Christmas, if she was being honest.

On the one hand, she could be at home, with no responsibilities. She could simply enjoy the season, take part in the festivities, and spend the day lounging around in her designer Christmas jumper, sipping wine and eating one sweet treat after the next. 

But then, see, the running away from her coronation had happened. And the divorce. The scandal. Marie was quite sure that eyes would be on her, and not in the way that she liked them to be.

But as the day had crept closer, Marie had had another revelation entirely: with Maman gone, and Papa spending the holidays with them instead, the focus would not be on her, but on Berlioz — even if Papa didn’t realise it. Marie was very talented at putting her foot in her mouth; her worry about any negative attention she might garner was now replaced with worry about ruining the entire day for her (half) brother.

She had done her best to relax, and for the most part, she had — she had spent the day lounging, drinking and eating much as she had planned to. It only came to a screeching halt the very second she thought they had got away with it. When Papa asked if they had heard from their mother at all.

Berlioz slouched, but Marie sat bolt upright, sipping at her glass of Coteaux du Layon. “I spoke to her last night,” she confirmed, smiling a little too brightly, speaking a little too quickly. “She told me to let her know how we liked our gifts — I’ll have to text her.” 

TOULOUSE:

This was an incredibly bad idea.

Toulouse had told Berlioz this. The holidays were not the time to reveal familial secrets long ago buried. It was the one time of year where everyone, by the power of something higher, had to actually act decently to one another. Even Hector and Adelaide, after a few years, could only stand to be in the same room with one another during the holidays. And before their marriage had fissured irreparably, it was the only time where they managed to keep the fighting to a minimum and their house became a ceasefire, no-man’s-land. For just a fortnight or so--the Bonfamille manor would be peaceful. The holiday--enjoyable. 

It was Toulouse’s favorite time of year for that reason. Also, because he adored buying gifts for his family and Christmas was when he really was able to show off his skill (and how much he cared.) Though, he’d been a bit behind this year, considering he’d spent most of December sleeping on a couch and waking up every two hours when a baby cried. 

He was exhausted and he could see the storm brewing on the horizon. Lou just wanted to go back to the Acheron’s and curl up by the fire. At least there the only electric energy was everyone’s bone-tired, waiting in the stillness for the next baby to start crying. 

That was a much better stillness than the stillness that followed Hector’s question.

Toulouse’s brain was sluggish, so he was not quick to jump in with an excuse. However, Berlioz was going to be utterly useless and Marie looked as if she was just about ready to jump out of her skin. He sighed, watching their father for a moment, before answering himself.

“She told us she would be busy most of the day, with Claude and Grandpere and Grandmere, I rang her earlier this morning before coming over here.” He had not, but as dutiful eldest son, he would have usually--and it was an easy lie,  considering he had not come by until later in the morning.

“She said to say hello and happy Christmas to you.” 

BERLIOZ: 

His siblings lied for him. 

Well, he actually had no idea if Marie’s was a lie at all. He had not told anyone to shun Maman the same way that he was shunning her. They didn’t have to as far as he was concerned; she hadn’t lied to them about their father’s identity for over twenty years of their lives. But he had also known that as soon as Lou found out that the fissure in their family would widen, Lou jumping to Berlioz’s side at once. There’d only been a few seconds where he’d been unsure. Where he thought, maybe, Lou, who loved their mother so dearly, might try to make an appeal. 

There were times over the past months where he almost wished he had. What would have been different? Maybe Berlioz would listen. He listened to Lou the most out of anyone. (Not that he listened all that much.)

But too late now. He heard Lou’s lie and couldn’t help but look at Pere while he said it, the jumpiness suddenly alive in Berlioz’s skin. His hands fidgeted under the table. He thought about reaching for Simba, but his husband had both hands up, one of which was shoveling a generous helping of pie into his own mouth. 

And so he rubbed at his knees and stared at Pere, who didn’t look at Ber at all. 

“Ah yes, le petite Claude,” said Pere, humming for a few moments, flashing a loose smile at the mention of their cousin who had, of course, no relation to Pere at all. “I was surprised about her plans until I remembered about Claude. She means to make him her next project, I’m sure.” He chuckled a little at his own joke, which was not a joke, because his parents were very good at saying exactly what they wanted to say. 

“She’s actually spent quite a lot of this year in Paris, hasn’t she? As if he were her own son! I was surprised she did not fly home after news of the coronation. My apologies on her behalf, mon petit coeur.” Hector reached over to pet Marie’s hand. 

Berlioz felt himself sink just a little more. 

MARIE:

Marie looked at Lou, and took another sip of her wine. So perhaps her answer hadn’t been the best, but at least Toulouse was there to set things straight (ish), and she had at least done better than Berlioz, who apparently found the tabletop extremely interesting. 

It shouldn’t be so difficult to talk to her dear Papa — Marie was a daddy’s girl and she always had been, and usually conversation was fairly easy even though, admittedly, she maybe didn’t talk to him as much as she should. This year had just been so busy, and Hector was always fully booked anyhow. Part of what Marie liked about their relationship was that her father wasn’t overbearing, and showed his affection by buying her gifts.

She looked up when Hector reached over to pat her hand, smiling back at him, her thoughts momentarily shifted away from not putting her foot in her mouth. It was probably a good thing that Maman had not flown home after all; she would only have had to book a flight straight back.

Marie wondered if this was what she should do. That is, shift the focus from their Maman to herself, because Marie was very good at stealing the spotlight from her siblings usually, and maybe this time it would actually be appreciated. 

“Well, it’s alright, given how things went....” Her gaze flicked from Ber to Lou, and then back to her father. She was very much making a martyr of herself here, she hoped they could appreciate that. “I know she would’ve made a big fuss, and that wasn’t what I wanted, after all that. Myself and Toulouse have been getting along quite well — with NouNou’s help, of course.”

TOULOUSE:

Toulouse’s expression pinched as his father laughed.

See, Hector and Adelaide were very good at putting on faces. They were, after all, the people who had taught Lou the same thing. Hector was better at concealing than his mother, but Adelaide was better at manipulating--using her emotions like the flash of feathers on a bird of paradise, to draw someone in. 

Hector’s jokes did nothing to lighten the atmosphere. If anything, everything became more tense. Perhaps it was only Lou who felt it, but he also felt Marie’s gaze darting about like a startled starling. And Berlioz was so stiff that Lou was afraid he was suddenly going to snap entirely in half. And Lou, too, merely pushed his pie about on his plate (it was far too sweet for him anyhow). His shoulders were tense. Despite the potential truth to his father’s words and Lou’s own anger at his mother, that old protectiveness flared up in his chest. 

For Hector should know that when it came to it, Lou took his mother’s side in most things. Historically, in almost every argument and disagreement, because Lou was not immune to his mother’s flashy feathers and crystal tears. Especially when the only way his father showed true emotion was in thunderclaps of anger. He preferred his mother’s soft heartbreak. It was easier to stomach than his father’s rage.

“Yes, Marie handled the whole thing beautifully,” Lou complimented his sister, raising his wine glass towards her before taking a small sip. “Maman has been dealing with so much the last year, besides.” And in this, Lou’s words were truer than he meant and they reflected back to him in a way that made him feel rather uncomfortable--suddenly worried about betraying his mother.

But no, she had betrayed them all first.

BERLIOZ:

As Marie began talking, Berlioz relaxed, if just a little. He sat up again, picked up his fork, cut off a piece of his pie. He didn’t really eat it though, just kinda pushed it around his plate as some of the apples escaped. Couldn’t get them all on his fork at once. He kept trying anyway, an expert in turning the most mundane tasks-- checking his phone, fixing his coat zipper, even eating-- into something of a production. He’d mastered this form of invisible performance as a child. Though his father used to complain about it-- don’t play with your food, he’d say. Or, stop fidgeting, Berlioz. Or, pay attention, Berlioz.

But Pere wasn’t looking at him anymore. This was fine. He’d just get through dessert, and right after, he’d nip into the study maybe and tell him then… 

And then Lou said what he said.

Ber’s head jerked up, eyes widening just a little. His brother had not meant it; he either thought it was innocent enough or… maybe he was actually trying to tell Pere to fuck off, that he didn’t know waht he was talking about, except for the fact that Pere was still Pere, and like a shark smelling blood in the water…

Ber watched his father raise a curious eyebrow. His eyes glinted. 

“Dealing, has she? And what is taking up all her time this year, eh? Another fundraiser for the London Philharmonic?” He laughed mockingly. Maman’s little passions always paled in comparison to Pere’s, according to Pere. 

“Is that why she emailed me about you, Berlioz? You’ve been dodging her charity too?” 

Ber stiffened. His fork clattered to his plate. “She emailed you?” 

“Yes. She wanted to know if I’d heard from you. I figure she was trying to rope you into something, eh? Playing a gala for her friends? She never learns.” 

“No, uh…” 

“Good on you for not humouring her.” 

And much like Lou, those words poked something sensitive in Berlioz-- that tender place that used to run to Maman, that once played the piano in hopes of earning her kisses and compliments. “It’s not like that at all,” he said too sharply. “She just didn’t want me talking to you.” 

The mocking smile on Pere’s face faded. “Excuse me? And why not? What the hell have I done to that woman now?” 

And Berlioz could say anything now. Or he could say nothing. He could shrug and let the rest of his family chime in-- let Lou defend Maman instead, or let Marie disengage the situation with a compliment or a graceful shift back to her. Even Simba might jump in, if Ber gave him space, tell Hector to shut up or offer him whiskey or something. 

And so when Berlioz spoke, he didn’t know why he did. If it was revenge against Pere for his spite. Or if it was revenge against Maman. Maybe it was both those things, and six months of holding, and waiting, and sinking, and he was tired of being the one to squirm when it was everyone else’s fault but his. He’d just been born. So -- yeah. Fuck this bullshit game of his parents’ he’d been forced to play for his entire life. 

“She didn’t want me to tell you she cheated on you twenty-three years ago,” blurted Berlioz. “And that I’m not your son.” 

Quiet. 

Berlioz watched his father’s smooth, practiced face, waited for it to break the way that he knew it could break. But the first crack happened in his knuckles instead, as they tightened around his utensils. Then, very slowly, as if that beautiful silver was made of glass, he set both knife and fork down. 

“Is that a joke?” 

“Yes,” Berlioz said, then automatically: “I mean, no. It’s just kind of a joke that neither of us knew all this time, so. Yeah, it’s-- it is kinda funny, isn’t it?” His mouth was just moving now. “I think it’s really funny.” 

Pere’s eyes jerked away from Berlioz to his other two children. “What is he talking about? Did you know about this?” 

“I’m talking about being a bastard son,” said Berlioz. Wow, he could not shut up. This had never happened to him before. He felt kinda giddy. Was he having a panic attack? Was this a new, fun way to have a panic attack, like, with his mouth only? 

“Berlioz!” Pere snapped at him to shut up. Ah, there it was. The yelling. But Berlioz wasn’t scared at all, had expected this, and so he leaned back and shrugged. 

TOULOUSE:

Toulouse had not meant his misstep to be so grievous as it was. There had been a part of him that was frustrated and wanted to push back at his father. Besides, Toulouse was right. It had barely been over a year since Tantine had died. Their mother’s only sibling. Despite himself, Lou felt the pity for his mother deeply where Tantine was concerned and he worried about his mother. It had always been Lou’s job to worry about his mother. Even when he had been young, he would sometimes catch her in the kitchen late at night, staring into her drink, in her warm, fluffy robes. And even before he’d been old enough to articulate it, he had known his mother was sad. So, he would crawl into her lap and let her stroke his hair and kiss his head.

His father had never been so vulnerable. Even now, he was more stone than man to Toulouse. He had learned much of his own statuesque personality from his father, though, he liked to think that he did it better. Could maintain it for longer.

And he never yelled.

As soon as Berlioz snapped, Lou saw the rest of this playing out, as if Berlioz was their mother and Lou was a child again. Sometimes, the dishes would rattle first, signaling the Earth’s unsteadiness. He was thrust so suddenly backwards that for several precious seconds, he lost control of his tongue. A part of his brain said that he should intervene, say something—help.

By the time he’d sorted himself out, he’d heard Simba—who he frankly forgot was sitting there—say Berlioz’s name very quietly.

His father shouted, like a whip cracked across the dining room table. Lou stiffened and his eyes cut towards his father, his expression stone. He looked very much like his father, the two of them mirrors of each other in anger.

“Hector,” Simba hedged but Lou cut him off. He didn’t turn his attention to Simba, but the tone of his voice made it clear that Simba should have no part in this conversation.

“Yes, I knew.” He purposefully did not confirm that Marie had known. Hopefully, Hector would assume, as was often the case—that Marie had had no idea. “It has not been long. Maman kept it from all of us.”

 MARIE:

Marie had to pick her jaw up off the floor. Not literally, of course, but she did find herself sat with her mouth hanging open, and she had to close it with a reminder that it was not ladylike to gawp. She almost felt justified this time, though. Berlioz had really lost it. Well and truly.

Marie did feel a little bit sorry for her dear Papa, though. It wasn’t his fault that their mother had done what she did (well, perhaps it was, but Marie was not delving too deep into the complications of the matter), and this perhaps wasn’t the best way to tell him, but it was too late. It was out there now. And Berlioz just kept on talking, words spilling out of his mouth, more than Marie thought she’d ever heard him say in one go before. 

Her father’s shout made her flinch, ever so slightly. Took the shine off of Berlioz’s outburst.

And Marie did so consider sitting there quietly, minding her own business, admitting nothing — she did so hate to upset her father. But the fact of the matter was that she had known. And she hadn’t said anything, because it had not been her place to do so. For once, Marie had minded her own business.

“I knew too,” she admitted quietly, when she felt her father’s gaze trip over her brothers and land squarely on her. “But — not for long.” She echoed Lou’s words, her eyes flitting over to him, and away again. “It wasn’t my secret to tell.”

BERLIOZ:

Berlioz was waiting for his terror to find him. 

Usually his terror was the first thing, slinking in like a kind of helpful bogeyman-- reminding Berlioz to hide, whether it meant sinking under the table (like he used to do as a kid) or simply locking up tight. With the anger sharp and cold in his father’s bright eyes, he figured any second now, the terror would pound like a headache. He’d realize what he’d just done. He’d done exactly what he hadn’t wanted to do: make a scene, ruin Christmas, cause a fight. 

But his terror didn’t come. He glanced from Lou, who was calm and stubborn, and Marie, who was small and awkward. That was strange for her-- he felt bad about it, actually, but still his terror didn’t rush in. 

He hardly even heard Simba. He wasn’t worried about Simba, anyway. Maybe he should be. Maybe he should be at least a little worried about what the fuck he had just done. 

“How long?” Pere demanded. 

“A couple of months.” Ber said. 

“Months?!” 

“I dunno,” he said. “I think.” 

“You should have told me. You should have told me first--merde.” The chair scraped against the floor as Pere pushed it back, up onto his feet at once. His entire face twisted, the lines on his forehead carved deep. And for the first time now-- now Ber tensed. His hand flew out and grabbed at the table, like he could stop Pere from ripping off the tablecloth. 

Instead, Pere grabbed the back of the chair and knocked it to the ground with another curse. Berlioz flinched. Slowly, the white noise began to fill his ears, like Pere was twisting the volume on a television, louder and louder. 

TOULOUSE:

Toulouse’s gaze snapped to Marie as she spoke and he felt something uncomfortable twist in his stomach. His wolf was twitching its nose and flicking its tail inside of Lou’s chest. These days, Lou found the wolf comforting most of the time. It was a gentle thing, unless it had a reason not to be and he trusted those reasons, listened to the wolf. He found it easier to listen to it than to not. There was a respect that he had for it and its instincts. Except in moments where human emotion was too trite and complicated for the wolf to comprehend. 

The wolf saw his father’s twisted face and thought only: danger. It made Lou’s heart rate tick up slightly and he wanted to get up himself, to cross over toward Marie and stand in front of her. The wolf wanted to let out a rumble of a growl. 

Objectively, Lou knew that his father would not hurt anyone. That he was all hot air. The Bonfamille temper had a bark that was far worse than its bite. 

All the wolf saw was the bite. 

Hector’s chair scraped against the floor and Lou’s followed. He stood, the wolf looking through his eyes at the man on the other side of the table, calculating. Too far for the human to reach, but an easy leap for the wolf. 

Across from Lou, Simba had also risen as Hector did and now the three of them stood, the perfect points of a triangle. 

Someone’s silverware clattered to the floor but otherwise the air was tense and suspended. Perhaps they could all fold these emotions and memories back. They were all adults now. Hector was on the same plane as Toulouse, as Berlioz, as men. The Bonfamille children were no longer that. With just one breath they could all sit back in their chairs and resume their dessert. 

The sound of the chair slamming on the floor shattered the illusion of containment. It cracked through the dining room and echoed against the high ceilings. Despite himself, Lou flinched, feeling himself shrink slightly. It had been so long since Lou had had to confront his father’s twisted anger. He had forgotten that to face it, one had to be as still and strong as a wavebreaker against the ocean. 

Simba, however, did not shrink back. Instead, he seemed to get bigger as he took a step, almost behind Berlioz’s chair now. The movement caught Lou’s eye and he turned his head slightly to stare at this new element to the equation, uncertain of what it meant. 

“Hector,” Simba said again. He didn’t raise his voice, but the word was as firm as stone. “Sit down.”

“Simba,” Lou breathed out, but cleared his throat slightly when his brother’s husband turned to look at him. “This isn’t your concern.” 

“It bloody well is, Lou,” Simba told him harshly. “This is my house. Now, everyone just--sit down.” 

MARIE:

Everyone was up on their feet, the whole room seemingly poised for some kind of fight, and Marie herself hit with two very distinct, and very different urges. The first was to get to her own feet, to try and make herself heard above the bickering from Lou and Simba and her fathers shouting; she could go up to her papa now and remind him that it was Christmas, to ask politely that he not ruin this day for her. The second was to sit quietly, like a lady would do, and step in only when the time was right; not to make a spectacle of herself, or lower herself to their level, but to take the higher ground and keep her cool.

(A third instinct might have been to hide behind her eldest brother, as she had so often done when she was younger, just a little girl, and family functions had gone south. But Marie was not so little now, and she had her own head on her shoulders. Even if her papa’s shouting did frighten her, just a tad, she would not cower.)

In the end, she favoured the second option, resisting the urge to roll her eyes as her brothers snapped at each other. “Simba’s right,” she said, looking to Lou, begging him not to make things worse with her gaze. “Lets all just— calm down.” It wasn’t often she played peacekeeper, and the words felt a little clunky coming from her mouth. “Papa, s’il te plaît,” she addresses Hector, smiling sweetly in the way that usually got her exactly what she wanted. “Your chair,” she gestured to the spot where it had once been. “We can talk — can’t we?” She looked between her brothers, dragging them along with her.

BERLIOZ: 

Simba and Lou both stood up at practically the same time. Berlioz, meanwhile, rocked forward, his elbows hitting the table as he dragged both his hands over his face and then through his messy curls, simply messing them up further. He knew where this was gonna go though: downhill. The chair was the first crack in the dam, and now the pressure would grow until it was too much. And then it would all fall down. 

Berlioz didn’t think he’d expected anything different. Maybe that was why he just blurted it out in the end. He could blame his delivery when Pere sneered at Berlioz and abandoned him here at the table. It would not hurt so much as waiting until that perfect moment-- to sit down with Pere and explain it all in-depth, not only how he found out but how difficult it had been to even gather enough courage to tell other people. How scared he was. When had he ever shared that kinda thing with his father anyway? 

This followed the script. It was better. He’d prepared for rejection, and here rejection was. 

Berlioz lifted his eyes, that white-noise feeling in his hands. He rolled his fingers into fists and put them under the table. 

But Hector wasn’t looking at Berlioz at all. 

“Calm down?!” he spat and then switched into French effortlessly, probably in an attempt to leave Simba behind. “I learn all three of my children are keeping secrets behind my back and you expect me to be calm?”

“It’s not their fault,” Berlioz said in French, quietly.

“Of course not! It’s Adelaide’s!” Hector snarled. And finally he looked at Berlioz and he jabbed a finger toward him again--

Berlioz flinched, pushing back into his chair so it slid on the tile. 

“And don’t you worry! I will make her pay for this. She will pay for every single year she hid this, forced us all to live this lie.” He barked a laugh out of nowhere; a manic thing. His hand scraped through his receding pepper hair. “Oh, the news will love to hear this! It will be a celebration in the  Libération offices! I will make it so she will not step foot in any of her precious theatres, her galas. She will not have a friend left in all of France when we are through.” 

Berlioz’s jaw dropped a little, a different horror dawning slowly, but dawning nonetheless. He’d miscalculated. He’d actually been-- too self-absorbed. To think that his father would think this news was about Ber at all. 

“Pere, I….I...please, I--I don’t want anyone to know--” 

“Oh, they will know! They have to know, after all this time.” 

TOULOUSE:

Toulouse had done what he did best when his father went off like this--he turned to stone. He felt the gates around his heart close up tight, his whole chest restricted, shutting down everything but essential functioning. It made it easier to bear the brunt. And Toulouse was used to bearing the brunt. He did it on purpose. He bore it so his siblings didn’t have to. 

Only this time, his tactic did not work, because there was nothing that Lou could say to protect his little brother from their father’s ire. It was not Lou that was the bastard, though he wished--if only to take the burden from Ber. He could shoulder it better, he believed. And even if he couldn’t, it wouldn’t matter, if he could keep the pain of it from Ber. If he could keep their father’s twisted betrayal and revenge from Ber…

But his jaw was locked shut. He was terrified to speak. Would he make it worse for his brother if he did? Was it worse not to say anything at all?

He watched as Simba batted Hector’s hand away from Ber, like a cat. Not that Hector noticed, he was already moving it to his hair, laughing. And in that moment, Lou saw a reflection of himself that made him queasy enough to reach out and grab the back of his chair. 

It was Simba’s voice--Simba, the one factor here that hadn’t  been accounted for, that couldn’t be accounted for. He was an enigma to the Bonfamille argument formula. Just enough so that it cracked part of Lou’s hard outer shell. 

“Who--who will know, what?” Simba asked and when Lou looked at him, he found his brother-in-law’s gaze on him. 

“My father intends to tell the tabloids about Berlioz’s lineage,” Lou informed him bluntly and concisely. He felt his father’s gaze flick towards him.

“What? Hector,” Simba said sharply. “That’s entirely uncalled for. Think about your son. And what that will do to him.” 

MARIE:

Marie’s eyes widened, staring at her father like he’d grown a second head. Perhaps it shouldn’t have come as too much of a surprise that he would threaten to tell the press back home. As ridiculous as it might seem to anyone else, to any other family, the Bonfamilles were well aware of what the press could do to you, how they could affect your everyday life.

 Marie saw it going like this: Hector would tell whichever tabloid he decided to give the best exclusive to, and with their father’s and their mother’s reputations combined, it would sell. Soon the whole of France, or at least, those who concerned themselves with this sort of gossip, would know the truth. Adelaide would flee, Marie thought. She wouldn’t turn to face the music. Wasn’t it a Bonfamille prerogative to take flight? She would not come back to Swynlake, either, she would go somewhere else, and her children would be left without her for even longer.

And then there was Berlioz. Poor, sweet Berlioz, who would never be able to hold the weight of all those eyes on him, holding their magnifying glasses over his head. Marie had done it before, Lou too, but…

“Papa, please,” Marie interjected, only now feeling the urge to get to her feet, to run to her father’s side and take his hand like she always did. She could convince him, she thought, she was his little girl— but she had a feeling this would not help her now. “Simba’s right, it isn’t fair to Berlioz. Can’t you just… just talk to Maman?”

BERLIOZ: 

“Like she talked to me?!” Hector snapped, drawing his hand from his daughter’s. “No. This is not a lie she can hide from, not anymore. I am-- I’m sorry, Berlioz, I am.” And his father’s voice had evened out, though it was still firm, the voice he used to discipline. “But this is not just about you. This is about doing the right thing, and I will not live under her pretenses.” 

Meanwhile, the static feedback grew louder, filling in any crack inside of Berlioz that he’d normally use to hide. But static noise was its own kind of blanket, its own kind of shield. He should fight against it. He had his exercises lined up in his brain, the sort of thing he’d been working on for years now and gettin’ rather good at it too. Breathing, counting, reframing. But right now there was only one thing that Berlioz wanted to do-- 

Sink. Disappear. And yes, flee. In this moment, Berlioz understood his mother better than he ever had before. She would run from this news, and so would Berlioz. Where, he wondered? Would Swynlake be far enough? Should he go south, find someplace sunny, be one of those rich kids who rented a yacht and drank until the ship sank? What shore would he wash up on then? Would Simba come with him? Couldn’t ask, could he-- think of Ashlee, think of Kion…

These new people in his life used to feel like pillars, but now they were anchors, keeping him in a place he did not want to be.

His brain settled there: I do not want to be here. 

Berlioz stood up. “Yeah, okay.” He licked his lips. Shifted from foot to foot, like a rocking boat about to turn over. He felt Simba next to him but couldn’t hear him. Instead, there were just--everyone’s eyes. 

“Okay, you do that then.” 

And he left the table, moving swiftly toward the porch as quickly as he could.

“Berlioz!” called his pere, but Berlioz’s hand was already on the door. The sound of it twisting was like a gunshot, aimed behind him. He shut the door hard.