#he wouldn't have let el see the painting

[chirpsythismorning]

re Lettergate: Lettergate, but it's El's pre-spring break letter laying crumpled somewhere in Mike's room. Reminding him what El said about the painting. Making Mike wonder in a letter of mostly lies was the part about Will also one? Mike's gears spinning-> Why did Will have it at the airport not El? Why did Will bring it with him? Why wait to give it to him if it had been from her all along? What would make Will lie to him like that? Questions for both Mike and to some casual viewers to think about if they hadn't already. We know it doesn't add up and why, but does Mike?

Right?!?!? Like it's such a mind fuck.

I'm still not certain about that scene, and that's probably what I love about it so much.

I could see it being bunch of different scenarios.

Initially when s4 came out, I was very confident Mike didn't see Will crying. I even made this post about it that blew up, bc I could genuinely relate to Will's situation, where you're facing the window in the car, crying as quietly as you can in hopes that no will notice.

But then as time passed, I rewatched the scene more and I started to notice all of Mike's micro-expressions (the first time I watched it, I didn't notice any of them...), with him going from bright and happy upon thinking the painting for Will's crush (according to El), was actually for him, only for Will to say it was commissioned by El and with Mike now looking extremely confused.

I kind of take that first reaction as something the entire fandom overlooks, both ga and bylers. Because it's clear from the start of that moment Mike WANTS the painting to be for him from Will, and he's visibly relieved to find out it is, only to be visibly dejected when he finds out that it's not.

And like you said, then comes the uncertainty for Mike that this could have been just another thing El lied about in her letter, so him assuming Will was painting something for his crush might have not even based in reality in the first place?

Also, why would Will lie to him? Will never lies to him! At least not something as big as this. Which is why fans have acknowledged some of the notes from the score Being Different matching both parts of The First I love You and The First Lie. There is something sort of special about Mike just believing Will, and the importance of that being conveyed through that score basically. I do get that. Then again, Being Different is mostly Will's perspective on the situation at hand (and he's known to be an unreliable narrator). This is him saying I love you to Mike for the first time (veiled) and this is him also lying to him about something big for the first time.

But again, after rewatching that scene god knows how many times now, it's clear based on Mike's emotions throughout that he is having some sort of realization and conundrum.

In fact, he looks most emotional and effected when Will starts describing the situation of their relationship, not him and El's.

When Will starts talking about feeling different and like a mistake and how Mike makes him feel like he's none those things, we know that can't possibly apply to Mike and El's dynamic at all. In fact, we just saw that that was the whole reason for their big fight, with El being convinced Mike just saw her as a monster like everyone else, with him deflecting by saying she was a superhero, not acknowledging the core of the issue at all. This is something him and El never touch on again, face to face. All we have is their fight, them reuniting and saying they missed each other, followed by Mike jumping into saying much of what he said in their fight during his monologue, things that literally upset her last time (denying he never said I love you), mixed with some inspiration from Will, and with a dash of trauma bonding phrasing that would come off as romantic to the majority, but also arguably as platonic and yet just as meaningful. But the pressure of it being romantic is what made it so hard to watch, because we know Mike's heart is conflicted right now.

The issue I have with the interpretation that Mike didn't pick up on Will's feelings at all though, is that there is something so much more impactful than all of that stuff I have just said combined, and it's the whole I didn't say it/You didn't have to line. That was really beautiful exchange that sort of encapsulated their whole relationship, and so having that ring true in the moment when it mattered most? Epic.

It meant everything for Mike to read between the lines in the van scene, as it would have cemented this truth between them that the love they feel for each other doesn't need to be outright said, they just know based on how they make each other feel. Like that's the whole point.

And by the end of that scene, Mike looks like someone who understands.

When Will is emotional looking out the window talking about being a mistake, we get Mike out of focus in the background looking Will up and down very sympathetic. I don't know why he would have such strong indicators of feeling sympathy for an emotional Will, describing things that sound an awful lot like their circumstances, unless he somehow picked up on what Will was saying despite Will not outright saying it?

The way Mike literally looks stunned and amazed when Will starts rambling and saying things that word for word describe him and Will? Why would he react like that if he had absolutely no thoughts in his head?

Gonna be honest and say the most obvious reason he would figure out Will is lying, is that El does not know an iota about DND... Like she doesn't know anything. She would have to have asked Will to dig deep and do something personal for her to give to Mike... And that just feels like it would be a quick obvious indicator for Mike that this has to be how Will feel's if it's coming from his knowledge about all of it? That in and of itself makes me feel like Mike would easily come to that conclusion that this is Will's feelings for him and he goes from being happy to sad to happy again bc he is relieved that the truth is it is for him, even if neither of them can face it rn.

More than anything on the Mike and El front, I think Mike knows that El deserves so much more than being settled for, which is why he's having a hard time playing along for much longer.

I think he would have preferred they stay friends at the end of s3 with them having been that way for the last 3 months before the epilogue, but it's not like Mike could say no thanks? That wasn't an option in any shape/form. After everything El just went through, and everything she's done for him and his friends, how could Mike hear her say I love you, and reject that? The fact that he does care for her very much is what makes it so tragic that he is suffering and not allowing himself to open up about it, bc he feels like if he did, he would be selfish. It would be selfish to break it off when she wants to be together now and is approaching their relationship romantically, only for him to go against that. And so he plays the part, and he does it really unconvincingly...

As he is having these moments in s4, I think it is him sort of accepting something that he has just started to see as inevitable because it's not like he can hide from the truth forever. Unless he wants to be miserable like his parents, and clearly he is feeling the pressure to just go along with it, while also deep down wanting to reject it, and we see how that blows over in the end, with it being way worse than he ever imagined (apocalypse proportions? Like, Jesus Mike).

I will say, that as a boy that is still technically in a relationship with someone, Mike probably felt like he couldn't be like Yes Will, I like you back. The best he could do was give him a look that said that reassuringly and then try to process it. Him facing the truth in that moment was never an option while him and El still hadn't talked things over. Also him facing a crying Will, would have only made him cry himself arguably, meaning his only option was to sit there looking as emotionless as possible (rink-o-mania teas). I think what we have here is honestly a s3 ending parallel right in front of us but without us being able to see Mike's side of it. We've got Will and Mike and even Jonathan. Will cried hoping Jonathan wouldn't notice, but he did. Mike biked home and hugged his mom looking just heartbroken. But imagine those s3 shots with Mike out of focus? You probably wouldn't know for certain if he was sad or not? I honestly feel like if we had seen Mike in the van, he would have looked like he was holding back everything he could, making those parallels overlap perfectly.

Then after the van scene, Mike's reuniting with El again and he's saying I'm here I'm here and you can see it on his face, he's worrying too much about El again. He's worried that he's going to break her if things end romantically between them and as a result she won't be in his life anymore. That's not what he wants at all. But then his eyes search for Will and he's so conflicted, bc he literally just days ago confided in Will that he didn't want to do this anymore. And yet still, he doesn't want to hurt El, nor does he want to hurt Will. *enter explosion in the background behind Mike, followed by Argyle going AW SHIT AW SHIT AW SHIT as Will and El hug and Mike watches....*

Then Surfer Boy happens, and El is reaching to hold his hands and now she's saying she missed him. I imagine he was terrified that because of their fight, she wouldn't want him in her life anymore, and so he was relieved on that front. But then the pressure is back again. He's back to square one, at the end of s3 where he feels like the only way El will ever want him is romantically, and he has to fit that role in order to be in her life. Not only is it something he feels obligated to do to stay connected to El, but also it seems like the most safest option in the world he lives in. It's what is expected from everyone around him. It makes sense. So it doesn't really matter if Mike is having doubts or that now he's hopeful Will feels the same, he starts to second guess himself.

And this then leads to part ?/? of Mike stalling (2 scenes before this, Yuri gets called out for being a coward because of his stalling, all while he hides the truth about the stalling in his coat chest pocket...). Mike is yet again stalling because he can't find it in himself to be honest and tell El he doesn't love her and play along and lie for any longer, and yet he also can't tell the truth because that also terrifies him (which is that he knows he doesn't love El because he has those feelings for Will...)

He stalls until it's not an option anymore, regardless of how he feels about the whole situation. And Will is pushing him and telling him to do it and Mike looks heartbroken. I think in this moment he is feeling doubts about Will's feelings, but also I think he is mostly convinced both El and Will want to be with him, so he is having to choose in this moment to be selfless like Will in order to save El's life, putting what he perceives to be her happiness, above his own (a vicious cycle we have going on here).

Now, a large part of why I subscribe to this, is because of a lot of details that fit, but I have also touched on this next detail here. Basically, I think Mike went from thinking the painting was from Will initially, to thinking it was from El by the end of the season.

I think the scene at the hospital is when this major shift happens. When Lucas says that El saving Max was a miracle, I think this is when Mike starts to now believe that El does love him, and that apparently his words did work, and so therefore the painting had to commissioned by her, right? The scene starts with the painting in the background behind Will, but directly after the miracle drop, Mike quickly shares a look with him, only to slowly, nervously look over at El, confused and then almost sad, with the painting now in the background behind her.

And so now the question becomes, does Mike want to keep up this act (unconvincingly) with El? Or does he want to follow his heart?

You could say that the ending of s4 answers that question...

I think that this means that starting in s5, Mike will definitely still have mixed feelings and emotions about the painting, along with his perception of El and Will's feelings for him.

I think that it makes sense that he would be upset if he's being sort of whipped back and forth about the truth. Lying was like a big deal in s4 with him and El (along with the whole series in general), but I think it's going to be a lot more impactful and intense seeing that confrontation happening with Will and Mike. Not because Mike is going to hate him or be mean over it, but just sort of be more upset than anything else.

Is Mike maybe thinking that this could be a testament to the state of their relationship? That apparently Will's gotten to the point where he lies about something like this? It's going to be a lot to process seeing as he ended s4, for the first time, making an active choice to choose for himself instead of basing that choice on other peoples emotions.

Because apparently that is what happened isn't it? He literally ended s4 thinking the painting was commissioned by El and yet he still chose Will, also while now probably assuming he was wrong about Will's feelings and he doesn't actually feel the same.

Let that sink in.

Mike made that choice for the first time based on his own emotions and not others, even all while assuming it was going to be doomed...

I'm sort of proud honestly, because that's not an easy thing to do.

Being true to yourself and risking hurting and losing others is a scary thing. And it's also why they've got themselves in this situation in the first place, because all of them are sacrificing their own truth, under the assumption that this is what everyone wants.

It's tragically epic.

[willthewiz]

Jonathan Capturing the Right Moment

In this scene, Jonathan says he'd rather observe people than talk to them. And then says:

“People don’t really say what they're really thinking. When you capture the right moment, it says more.”

We'll get back to that later.

Here is Jonathan in season 4:

In the van scene, the camera only cuts to Jonathan when Will is telling a lie. Remember, Jonathan said people don't say what they're really thinking (the truth). But he captured the right moment, when it says more. Jonathan knows what Will is actually saying are his feelings not El's.

Will tells Mike that El told him what to draw. Then the camera cuts right to Jonathan. When he knows Will painted it and El didn't know what it was or who it was for.

Will: "I mean, without heart we'd all fall apart. Even El, especially El."

Then it cuts to Mike then Jonathan. Again, Jonathan knows this is about Will, not El. He's capturing these moments.

Will continues to lie and we once again, cut to Jonathan.

Here is more of Jonathan:

Mike: "But I am scared that one day you'll realize you don't need me anymore. And I thought that if I said how I felt it would somehow make that day hurt more."

We cut to Will and then Jonathan.

“People don’t really say what they're really thinking. When you capture the right moment, it says more.”

"But I am scared that one day you'll realize you don't need me anymore. And I thought that if I said how I felt it would somehow make that day hurt more."

Mike's fear & reason for not telling El he loves her:

What he thinks would happen:

Mike says I love you to El

One day, El realizes she doesn't need him anymore

That day hurts because she doesn't need him even though he loves her

El WANTED Mike to tell her that he loved her, but he didn't say it because he was afraid of losing her??

If Mike told El that he loved her, why would he still have doubts that she wouldn't need him??

Because Mike doesn't love her romantically and he's scared that if she knew, she wouldn't need him anymore. But that's just not true.

Jonathan is observing him in this scene. In previous scenes, Will is lying to Mike. Will isn't saying what he's really thinking (the truth to Mike). But Jonathan captures those specific moments, those lies. He sees through them and they become something more. The truth. Will is confessing his feelings for Mike through El.

In this scene, Mike is lying to El. Mike isn't saying what he's really thinking (the truth to El). But Jonathan captures this particular moment. This moment is when he sees through Mike's lies. He sees the truth. Mike is confessing his real feelings. He's saying that he isn't in love her and he's scared to lose her because of that. He's saying that the whole reason why he didn't tell her he loved her is because he's scared El wouldn't need him anymore.

Again, if Mike told El that he loved her, why would he think El wouldn't need him anymore? Why is he so scared that one day she'll come to this realization? Hm... I wonder...

Mike doesn't love El romantically, but he needs her. They will always need each other. And, I think, in season 5, Mike will realize that El will always need him and that they don't need to be in love with one another to stay with one another. Mike wouldn't lose her just because they're not together as a couple anymore.

--------------

Idk if any of this made sense or not. Not really sure about the whole Jonathan thing, but it is clear that he observes Will (and people in general) and knows he loves Mike. I just thought that what Jonathan said is interesting. Is this the shows way of saying that characters don't always mean what they say? Maybe...

I don't know anything about film, so don't take this seriously. I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm just bored and very sleep deprived.

Let me know what you think:)

[hawkinsschoolcounselor]

Mike declaring his "love" for El is what Henry has been waiting for.

Will, the well-intentioned selfless idiot that he is, has accidentally set in motion Henry's best chance to finally achieve his goals of...world domination? What exactly is he after, anyway?

El was on her way to becoming a stronger person. She faced her demons. She accepted her past mistakes that led to Henry's massacre, confronted Dr. Brenner and rejected his manipulations once and for all, and stopped seeing herself as Mike's idealized superhero girlfriend. It seemed that she was set to move past all of her biggest insecurities, which would allow her to face Henry without any mental weaknesses for him to exploit.

Then Will saw Mike moping about El. He couldn't handle Mike talking badly about himself. He wanted to let Mike know how he sees him, but, of course, he felt it wouldn't mean anything coming from him. So, he put El's name on everything, not even noticing how Mike's initial excited reaction at seeing the painting was dulled at Will crediting El with it. Nevertheless, Mike was overcome with emotion at someone seeing him exactly the way he always wished he would be seen. And, because of Will, he thinks it's how El sees him.

It remains curious that Mike and El never had an emotional conversation after they reunited. Yes, there was initially no time for that since they had to get back on the road to escape Sullivan. However, even with their need to plan what they needed to do to save Max, they could have talked. They were in that van fairly long considering it was daytime when El was rescued and night when they reached Surfer Boy Pizza. Perhaps they didn't want to talk in front of everyone else, though that didn't stop Will. They didn't really get a chance at that until everyone else was preparing for El's saltwater bath.

What may well have been a gentle breakup or, at the very least, an honest conversation about their relationship issues, instead was interrupted by Argyle. Indeed, Mike seemed eager to goof off with his blackout glasses and then seemed nervous when El took his hands with that "we need to talk" look. That conversation was their only chance to have a real talk, but they had no chance, and El was soon in the pizza freezer trying to save Max.

This brings us to the second part of Will's well-intentioned mistake. El is in danger. Henry managed to get the upper hand. El appeared to be dying. In an effort to give her strength, Will prompts Mike to talk to her. He's the heart. Mike had been hesitating, but he tells her he loves her. It's a bit unclear just what sort of effect this had on El, whether it helped or distracted her. However, she does eventually steel herself and, seeing that Max was about to be killed, summons the strength to fight back. Max is partially saved, but we never see Mike and El talk afterwards.

El is naturally rattled by Max's fate. She lost, and Max suffered for it. However, she makes no apparent attempts to find comfort or reassurance in Mike. Aside from the hospital room, she was quiet, going off on her own. The strong, determined, self-assured young woman she was growing into has fallen back into insecurity.

Meanwhile, Will has sacrificed his greatest desire for what he thinks will give Mike and El happiness. That will be Henry's opportunity.

Make no mistake: Henry knows that Will loves Mike. He had Will integrated into the hive mind. Brain scans showed that Will's mind was almost entirely taken over. He knows Will's every secret, and he also knows that Mike was the one who finally broke through to him in the shed. Mike trusts Will completely, and Will is able to sense Henry's presence.

Mike is the fly in the ointment, the spanner in the works. He's been far more of a problem for Henry than he even realizes. Mike is a problem for him. Will is a problem for him. Mike and Will together would be an even bigger problem.

In order to win, Henry needs three things to happen. First, isolate El. She is the only one who is capable of facing him one-on-one. She is stronger when she has something to fight for, something driving her to overcome the odds. If she doubts herself, he has a chance. He needs to take away her support system by either killing them or separating her from them.

Second, Mike needs to be taken out of the picture. Will was right. Mike is the leader, the heart. He knows how to rally an group of ordinary kids, now teens, to do things that should be well out of their abilities. Mike is caring, brave, and intelligent, but also very insecure. If he can get Mike doubting himself, then he won't be able to support El, Will, or anyone else.

Finally, Will has always been special to Henry. We don't yet know why, exactly, but Henry targeted Will from the start. Even after Will was rescued, Henry tried again a year later to bring Will into his control. It could be that he hates losing that much, or it could be that Will has some yet to be revealed asset that Henry needs. Their mental connection, at the very least, is a huge liability for Henry, but it has also been an asset for him in the past.

It seems to reason that any plan of Henry's needs to address these three, and I think it fits with what we know so far.

El seems to largely be isolated. She's apparently in hiding, which is likely since she's essentially a fugitive from the government. This would eventually take its toll on anyone, but El is also a teenager with a lifetime of trauma. She saw her best friend die. She has to hide from hostile forces while trying to protect the world from literal monsters. Over time, the stress could make her snap. Henry just has to keep her busy and away from the others.

We know that Holly is targeted by Henry, and Karen may end up in the hospital with severe injuries. This could very well be a calculated plan by Henry to get Mike out of the way. Killing Mike would probably enrage El to the point of her becoming too big of a threat, and it would also make it difficult to bring Will back under his control. Instead, he can target Mike's family to sow enough doubt in him to force him out of the picture. At the very least, he can distract Mike from being able to support the others if he's worried about his family, instead.

This would leave Will vulnerable, as well. We have reason to believe that Will has flashbacks/visions, possibly right away in episode 1. It's reasonable to think that the others could worry about Will being a spy for Henry again. Mike would trust him, but the others might think it'd be safer for Will to be away from the action, so Henry would be unable to use him. Rejection is a fear of Will's, not only from Mike, but in general. He wouldn't take it well if his friends saw him as a tool of the enemy. If Mike were to be too caught up in his own head to reassure Will, or, worse, start to see reason to doubt Will, himself, then Will could fall into a downward spiral. Will loves Mike. Needs him. Any rejection from Mike is painful to him. He may try to pretend that he's moved on, but feelings like those don't just go away. This would give Henry an opportunity to tempt him or outright possess him again.

Of course, we know that Henry will ultimately lose. This is all just how I feel he will try to attack what I see as his biggest obstacles to victory. Any thoughts?

[tarjapearce]

Mi Dulce Cereza (Pt.5)

Ranchero! Miguel O'Hara x F!reader

WARNINGS: pure fluff undercut.

Summary: Miguel shows you another part of your future world together.

Inspo by @choppednerdtriumph ❤️❤️

Intro:

Minutes kept ticking, and the road just stretched more and more before you. For how long had he been driving? Maybe two hours, you weren't sure. All you cared was that you were free.

Free of the leash your parents had conditioned you, free of the deceiving and pretense games, free of your mom, free to make your own desicions. Free.

The initial smile on Miguel’s face had disappeared after an hour of driving, he took a detour to the next town. Trees and dry land were the only scenarios that you had seen so far, then another one joined.

If your town was small, this was even smaller. A few states here and there, some dinners around, a little drugstore, gas station and of course a couple of hotels and a white, one floor building; the words 'Canew Valley Courthouse' engraved in the banner. Miguel parked before it, and then rushed to open your door.

"C'mon."

He kissed it and helped you out from the car, a red Ford F-150 that needed another layer of sanding and painting. He guided you into the building, hand in hand.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" He tipped his hat at the lady as he greeted with a polite smile.

"May I help you, sir?"

"Yes. Are the magistrates still on duty?"

"Of course, you'd have to wait a couple of minutes if your intention is to be wed. They are officiating one in this moment."

"It's fine. Thank you very much, dear." You smiled and followed Miguel. You both sat outside the main office. He sighed deeply and looked at you.

"Cerecita?"

"Yes, Miguel?"

"You scared?"

"A bit, yeah." Nodding, you rested your head on his bicep. Toned but the perfect pillow for you.

"But it's fine. To feel afraid, I mean. We're eloping" a chuckled escaped your lips.

"I know you probably pictured a big wedding with a shit ton of people. You will have it. Promise, just -"

"Miguel."

You sat properly and cupped his cheek

"Darling, you don't have to worry about that. They'd probably just assist to see what they could criticize and they'd be probably people that I wouldn't even know. By this time I'm pretty sure the news are spreading through town."  Your hand entwined with his

"This is the realest thing I can have of getting married."

"It will be better, I promise"

"It's alright. As long as you don't get the cold feet?"

His head shook with a loving smile.

"Jamás." (Never)

You understood better than you actually talked spanish. If it wasn't for your mother raising you mostly in english, you would've be able to comunicate with him perfectly.

After a good half hour, the door was open and another young couple left the main office, their laughs and giggles made your stomach bubble. Golden band around each finger and a paper folder in a hand. You both were instructed to enter and give your respective ID documents and your witness.

"Witness?"

"Yeah, you need at least two of them to get married." The judge had explained to you.

"Anyone?" Miguel asked

"Sure."

You couldn't help but feel your cheeks getting warmer as he asked the front desk lady and another assistant to act like your witnesses. Then you filled in the paperwork.

Do you take this woman as your lawful wife?

"I do" His eyes gazed lovingly at you as his hand held you with utmost care.

Do you take this man as your lawful husband?

"I do" You smiled, he beamed.

Mrs. O'Hara. You were now a married woman. A legally married woman.

The judge gave you the certificate and as soon as you both left the office, he swooped you off your feet and kissed you deeply as you giggled.

"Mrs. O'Hara." He'd squeeze you after thanking the front desk lady.

"Yes, Mr. O'Hara?"

"You're mine now. Mi esposa." (My wife)

"All yours."

"Are you feeling good?"

"A bit nervous, and hungry."

"Let's get you some food."

-----

He spoiled you with a little feast at the local dinner, Good old brunch, a tall glass of orange juice and of course a bit of cherry pie. He stared as you ate with contempt. As sun was hiding behind purple and peach skies, you were back on the road again before getting you some suplies like tissues and a little travel pillow for your neck.

The destination seemed another hour to go. If it wasn't for him stopping at every 30 minute mark for you to puke on the road, you'd have surely arrived alot earlier. You were deep asleep when the car stopped.

"Cerecita" Miguel stirred you gently, you curled into his touch, "Mi amor, wake up"

"Hm?"

"We're here."

The truck lighted up to reveal a creaky and rusted yet still sturdy pair of metal doors, that opened after he honked the truck a couple of times. Pebbled road crunched underneath the truck's tires as he drove further into the property. You barely could see past the dense foliage and some construction supplies perched up in different spaces.

You removed the collar pillow with a yawn and tucked the blanket around you. Air quality was pure, a stark contrast from your old home. The air felt stuffy, heavy and sometimes even dusty. But here, in Miguel's property, it was different. Air was pure, with  distinctive tints of pinewood and fruity trees, along some earthy undertones.

Your nausea had stopped. Your eyes wandered at the place, a white two story colonial styled home. Rounded archs as collumns, of course more construction supplies laying in a corner, a hammoc in the left, only the lower floor was lit up. An elder woman, probably in her early fifties, chubby, energetic, with a sharp look, dressed in a long skirt and cotton shirt, a loose braided bun adorned her round yet gentle face came into view.

Her eyes lit up with a motherly kind of joy upon watching him approach the entrance. Her colorful poncho draped around her chest.

"Mijo!" Miguel squeezed her in a tight hug, then gave her a loving smooch on her weathered cheeks.

"¡Por Dios, por fín regresas!" (My goodness you've finally returned!)

There was a warm feeling spreading through your chest as you watched their interaction.

"I know, I know. Took longer than I should've. But...-"

"Ay si si, luego me explicas. Where is she?" (Yeah, yeah, tell me about it later)

You stepped into view and she smacked his chest.

"Ah canijo, no que no te gustaban las citadinas?" (You Imp, though you'd said you didn't like city girls.)

Miguel chuckled and helped you closer to her.

"Cerecita, mi amor, she's Victoria Huerta. My mom."

"Uy, mi amor. Hear yourself"

"Ya pues!" (Enough)

Victoria giggled and patted his shoulder, then cupped your cheeks and smiled at you as Miguel crossed his arms.

"Si es que está chulísima!" (She's so gorgeous!)

Your smile stretched nervously at her words.

"He's always had a thing for girls with Ya know" Her hands mimicking curves and you giggled. Your name rolled of your tongue

"Nice to meet you, Victoria"

"My pleasure to meet the woman that finally tamed this cabrón." She gave a gentle pull at Miguel's ears, "At your service, querida. How far are you?"

You blinked and stared at Miguel, which smile widened at the warm welcome Victoria gave you.

"U-uh, I'm seven weeks"

"Brough this man and his brother to the world. Can't believe I'm gonna bring yours now. I've got you, cariño"

"Thank you, Mrs. Huerta"

"Don't be so polite Mija, call me Vicky. Are you hungry?"

"Not really-"

"None of that. I'll get you some hot cocoa. Probably puked in the way here didn't you?"

You nodded with a bashful smile

"You need something to sit your stomach. I'll go prepare it, I'll tell the boys to help you out with the lugage."

"Thank you, Vicky"

She had left and Miguel cradled you in his arms.

"She's so loving."

"Nosy and annoying too" He chuckled fondly, "Raised me when things got difficult. I owe her so much." His hands took yours as he lead you inside.

The lower floor seemed done, new tiles that extended in colorful yet intricate patterns, unlike your once plain white titled floors. The doors shone in fresh lacquer, the livingroom had a furniture set and a large tv in the middle, at this point the construction materials seemed a staple.

You sat on the couch and Miguel followed, two young men greeted him and he gave them instructions to get your lugage to the main bedroom.

-----

Clock ticked 10 pm, and you yawned. At this time you'd be tucked in your large bed, duvet draped over your body, not worrying about a thing.

It wasn't that different from what you were experiencing, You wondered about your parents, what they'd be doing, what would they be saying. Nothing good probably. None of that mattered when you had changed into one of his shirts since you couldn't remember the suitcase you had stored your pajamas in.

He slipped into bed next to you. Hands immediately hoarding you in his arms. The cup of hot cocoa Vicky prepared you made wonders in your stomach, her stories about Miguel being a serious yet goofy kid had only helped to soothe your tense nerves.

"Hey"

You smiled and kissed him

"Hey."

"Feeling good?" He nuzzled your neck

"Better with you here."

"Still scared?"

"No. Just thinking"

"About me, I hope"

You chuckled and ran a hand through his  hair

"Always. Yeah."

"Good. That's good."

He put a hand on your lower belly and rested his head on your chest. Heart giving steady and deep beats.

"Promise It'll look better."

"Hm?"

"The place. I know it's not like what you're used to-"

"Miguel."

His hands tensed on your hip.

"Look at me, Miguel"

His eyes gazed yours, soft hands reached for his stubbly cheeks.

"It's perfect. It's yours."

"Ours" He corrected and your head gave a gentle shake.

"It's yours. You've earned it on your own. I can't just... barge in and take credit for something I haven't helped in."

"Its ours." He insisted and you squeezed him.

"Te prometo que... te haré feliz." (I promise you that I'll make you happy)

"What makes you think I'm not?"

Warm eyes stared at him, conveying something only he knew. Love and understanding.

"You're such a wonderful man, I've got you for myself entirely, None is gonna bother us for loving eachother. None will talk ill about our child."

His face frowned a little, ruining his lovesick expression.

"None will ever make you feel like you're less, cause, you're everything I could ask for."

His heart leaped and he squeezed you, earning him a squeal.

"I was supposed to say that."

He kissed your forehead and cradled you closer, relishing your heat and warmth.

"Too bad."

"Still, I wanna give you everything."

"I just want you." You mumbled sleepily.

"Wait..."

"Hm?"

His body separated from yours to search something in his drawer. You sat down on the bed with a lazy smile.

"What is it?"

"Give me your hand. Forgot something important"

Your hand stretched towards him and he placed a ring on your finger.

"Perfect fit." He smiled and your eyes went wide.

"Thought I had forgotten about it?"

"I wasn't thinking in the rings if I'm honest"

You picked the other one from his palm and slid it through his finger

"There."

His hand brought yours and nodded, looking at both rings in each finger.

"Me gusta. Me gusta cómo se ven" (I like it. I like how they look.)

"I love your hands" He cupped your face with them and you kissed his palm.

"I love you. Whole."

Your heart swelled in contempt.

"I love you too."

----

You woke up alone, with another colorful duvet ontop on you. Morning sickness seemed to take a break from tormenting you, and allowed you to rest properly for once. The cold metallic band around your finger made your lips curve. The pillow smelled like him, your hands pulled it closer to sink your face in it.

A little of fabric softener mixed with his natural musk. It was nerve soothing, lulling you back to sleep.

The door was knocked around 11, Vicky's voice called in before entering.

"Mija? You ok?"

You stirred awake in the bed and smiled at her.

"Sorry, I overslept"

"Nada de eso. You're pregnant. It's good. Seems you needed it." (None of that.)

"I wanted to make some breakfast for Miguel, but I was so tired"

"He's working on the barn."

You rolled your eyes at the piece of info.

"The day that man isn't working in the farm or stables I'll know something is wrong."

"He told me about your family"

"Ah... them. Yeah."

"Sorry to be nosy or seeming so. He just tells me everything."

"He told me about you too."

"Good things I hope"

Her lips turned into a smirk, you just followed.

"C'mon. I'll make you something to eat. Then I can show you around."

"Thank you, Vicky"

-----

The Brunch was delicious, full and of course it had stopped briefly your nauseas. With Victoria's knowledge in babies, she was feeding you things that would do little to upset your stomach.

Once you were fed and ready, Victoria took you to the barns, to see Miguel.

The property seemed to be under massive renovations, since the barn still needed the roof and the doors were missing. Miguel was installing one of the doors when you arrived.

"Morning" Your voice stopped his doings,  he embraced you with care.

"Buenos días, Cerecita. Slept well?"

Nodding you kissed him and Vicky just patted his lower back.

"I'm showing her around."

"Good."

"See you later then"

He just kissed you and went back to work. Vicky walked alongside with you. She took you to another part of the estate. Pebbles extended in every path you walked, crunching under your shoes.

"I apologize for the mess, the workforce is in vacations and will return within two weeks."

"It's fine. Really. He also apologized for it. There is no need. These places take their time."

"When he first told me that he would work for someone else, it got me concerned. He isn't one for... y'know such things. His temper is short"

"It's odd to hear that when he has been nothing but loving and sweet with me"

"That's cause he loves you and you're his wife, Mija."

You giggled.

"When he first came to my parent's estate, he was quiet, always hardworking even tamed a horse my dad was about to sacrifice."

"Agustín?"

You nodded and sighed.

"I told my dad that I would return for the horses later, but that can wait."

"Do you think it's a good idea to go back?"

"I know it's risky, but can't leave the horses in there, knowing something could happen to them."

"Sounds difficult"

"Yeah. If not? Then, I'll come up with something."

Victoria took you through the places. The barn was smaller, but it was the most complete area so far, then, she took you to a parcel, ready to be used for growing things. Victoria had explained that Miguel initially was going to use it for an extension of the stables, but quickly changed his mind when you had told him that you'd love to have your own orchard.

"So this is for you. Not ready yet, but it's yours." Vicky held you by your shoulders with a kind smile on her face.

"I could work in this in the mean time."

"He'd probably say no and want you to. rest, but its good to keep yourself active, makes the birth a bit less painful"

"Say no more then."

Vicky and you spent a good time chatting as you visited the places. To your surprise, there were a few fruit trees. Apples, oranges, mango, lemon and guava trees. A couple of bushes of wild roses here and there, and some other wild flowers. Land was fertile enough for life to be sustainable enough

Miguel owed a little cattle. A couple of cows, goats and sheep, two young horses, Lalo and Lyla. A coup of chickens and a bull named Tito who was in charge of work the land.

It was small, but it was his. And they all seemed healthy. His heart was put in it and it showed. All those six months he spent working at your parent's state had granted him enough money to start renovating his own place. A gift from his late father.

It would take time, but certainly the place had potential.

Vicky had explained that once the upper floor was done, You'd move upstairs.

You helped her with lunch. It made sense for her to be the only one helping out with the domestic things so far, but that didn't stop her for doing other things. She was a farm woman at heart as well.

"You think he learned all that with the horses by himself? No, no. Yo le enseñé. Miguel le tenía pánico a los caballos." (I taught him, he was terrified of the horses)

You laughed and plated he food.

"And look at him now, a horse whisperer"

You snorted as Miguel and the helpers rounded up.

"Food's done." You gave big portions to each, as they all sat on the same table as you were. Your mother surely would have a heart attack if you ever got to mingle with the servants. But sitting together, like a big family made you feel homey. Welcomed even.

"I'll start working on the orchard tomorrow." You announced while taking a sip of your lemonade.

"You need to rest up. Leave that to me"

"No, I wanna help."

"Cerecita..."

"You said it was our home. So, I will help too."

"Es igualita a ti de terca." (She's just as stubborn as you are.)

The workers gave respectful but silent laughs. Paco and Joseph were their names.

"Besides, Vicky said that it's good to keep oneself active during pregnancy. So, yeah. I'll fill it up with many things."

He took your hand and kissed it with a little smile.

"As you wish, mi amor."

----

The evening came and Miguel took a bath, then joined in your shared room. You were folding and organizing your working clothes in a little space left in the closet. The fancy and pompous sort of things remained in the bigger luggage bags.

"I was thinking"

"In me, I hope" He chuckled as you used his words.

"Always, yeah" He plopped on the bed and watched you.

"Maybe we can have our wedding once the estate is finished."

"Oh?" You sat on the bed and laid your head on his lap. Larger hands immediately going through your hair with soft caresses.

"I mean, we're already married."

"I know, but want it to make it right. I wanna see you in a white dress, all beautiful."

"Can I see you in a Charro outfit?" Your giggles only echoed a bit louder as he placed a hand on your tummy, rubbing in circles.

"You'll have me in a Charro outfit."

"Will have to make a custom dress though, the belly will be big enough by then. Or who knows, the baby might be born by then."

"You want a boy or a girl?"

"I don't know really. It doesn't matter. I'll love my child the same. You?"

"A girl"

"How would you name her?"

"Gabriela."

"That's a cute name, yeah. And if it's a boy?"

"Miguel Jr."

You giggled and pulled him down for a kiss.

"Joking. I don't know. Haven't thought about it if it's a boy."

"What if they're twins?"

"Double prize? I mean, that wouldn't stop me from trying in giving you a third one"

"Miguel!"

He cradled you in his arms and his his face in your neck. A place that seemed to bring him comfort. Your hands caressed his hair, soothing and gentle as you straddled him. There was no words that needed to be said at the moment, so you just sat there, basking in each other's company and loving embrace, until Vicky called you both for supper. Once, twice and the third time she knocked on your door.

"Ya sé que más embarazada no la puedes dejar, pero déjala que coma siquiera, Miguel!" (I know you can't get her any more pregnant, but at least let her eat!)

Vicky's words only made your cheeks burn and Miguel grumble.

"Ya vamos!" (Coming!)

"My god."

"Better get used to that"

He kissed your forehead and soon both joined Victoria and the helpers. Life was just starting to take shape for you, and of course, you couldn't be more grateful and happy.

[thefirstlioveyou]

What will Mike and Will's S5 Fight Be About?

Shawn Levy basically confirme/implied another angsty Byler fight for S5.

But, what will it be about? Some think it'll be about the painting, but personally, I don't think so at all. I believe the fight will be about Mike's internalized homophobia; Mike will be afraid to romantically be with Will and it hurts Will.

First off, I don't think Mike would be mad for him hiding his feelings or lying about the painting. The sole purpose of the painting lie is to open a gate way to Mike knowing how Will feels about him. It's a set up. Why would he be mad that it was Will who thought those amazing things about him? He's in love with Will.

Now, let's see the common traits that all Byler fights have:

miscommunication, but they both want the same thing

is about their relationship

mike projecting

happens pretty early on, episodes 3-4

triggered by a shift in their relationship/mike doing something

they are alone

It's pretty predictable that S5 will focus on Mike's feelings for Will and be in Will's position this time. He's gonna be a yearning, gay mess! However, it doesn't make sense to copy every little thing as that wouldn't bring anything new to the table. It would quite frankly feel lazy and boring.

I actually believe they will be honest about how they feel episodes 3-4 (after Mike discovers the truth about the painting, what would be the shift in their relationship), and it will be a very angsty scene rather than a happily-ever-after moment (for now). Here's how I picture it: Will wants a relationship with Mike, Mike wants one too, but he's reluctant to because of the shame and bit of denial still lingering.

As understanding as one can be in this situation, it's also hurtful to hear on the receiving end. I can imagine it makes Will very upset. After so long of waiting for Mike, waiting to see if his feelings could be reciprocated, he finally gets it but doesn't get to keep it because of the shame Mike feels. Will does indeed feel like a mistake for his sexuality but, as he also states, Mike makes him feel otherwise. So, if he heard the same person that makes him feel better for who he is, say he's wrong for being the same thing he is.... that would HURT Will terribly. In Will's eyes, he will truthfully believe Mike doesn't want him, even if in Mike's POV, he wants nothing more than Will. This is where the miscommunication comes in play.

This is a real thing that happens in many Queer relationships even to today, when one is ready and the other is not yet. There is no bad guy (unless cheating, abuse, etc is involved of course) in these type of situations. You can sympathize with both sides... Which makes this a perfect fight to watch as the audience; it wouldn't make you hate either of the characters.

Some people say Mike’s accepted his sexuality by the end of S4, but I feel like if he did, it wouldn’t really be a good set up for him to be Vecna’d in S5. His struggle with who he is and his relationship with El is crucial to S5. If we keep Mike struggling with his sexuality and his trauma regarding El, this gives a purpose for him to be Vecna'd, which is the perfect way to explain a lot of his character the past seasons. Similar to how Max escaped Vecna the first time, Mike would do something similar (with the help of others, of course). He will have to accept the mistakes he's made, accept past events that were out of his control and accept who he is, or let himself die. Rather than focus so much on saving others or being needed to others, he must save himself now, for himself. He has to finally believe he is the heart. Finally confronting and accepting what he can't change will bring his character and his relationships to a full circle. It would explain his dynamic with El and Will the whole series. He will finally have the self-confidence he lost.

As much as people want Byler to have an established relationship in S5, I don't think that's likely. With a fight already implied to happen again (most likely early on), it wouldn't make much sense? They're a slow burn on top of that... The season is building up to them being together, it's not them already together (at least I don't think so).

The writers can obviously find a different route, but I feel like this would work and fit well. It would save Mike's character perfectly and it connects with the Mike being vecna'd, or at least in danger, theories; It gives it more purpose.

I just can't really imagine what else the fight would be about. It has to be about their relationship and it has to be about it changing in some way. Mike's weird behavior still needs to be explained... so I would think the fight has to be connected to the reason for that behavior. The fight would then be about his internalized homophobia. And if it is, it has to be explicitly about it, not just subtext like S3 fight.

Rather than “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls” and insulting Will, Mike straight up will have to be like, “I’m scared, what if this is wrong? I don’t know how to do this.” “This isn’t right.” This time Mike will be direct how he feels about HIMSELF, but Will would still be hurt because this is the same guy that made him feel better for being Gay…

If this is how the fight plays out, lord hold me because I won’t survive it😭😭😭

[brotherwtf]

Gale meeting John's family drabble bcs I'm obsessed with his family dynamic

----

Gale nervously wrung his hands together in the passenger seat of John's truck, only really looking up from the road when John would point to some obnoxious billboard or a funny looking bird. Gale would smile and nod, reply with a dry quip, and fall silent again. He usually wasn't like this.

John had told Gale that his mother invited them up to stay at their house for a little bit; wanted to see how they were adjusting to life post war and wanted to meet the notorious Buck Cleven. Gale had worried that John had let slip what they were, much closer than friends, but John assured him that she didn't know.

"She probably wouldn't even care. Poor old bird just wants to see me happy, all things considered," John had said.

And here Gale was, going to meet John's family and put on a good show of pretending to be friends. John mentioned that his mother was still alive, his father passed before he enlisted, and that he had two older sisters.

"Technically El is my twin, but she's fifteen minutes older and won't ever let me forget it. I'm the baby of my family," John says, turning onto a long gravelly drive that must lead to his family's property.

Gale smiles gently at the thought. John with missing teeth and a bright smile with equally bright sisters around him. Doting on him like Gale always did. Gale never had any siblings, lived only with his mother and father, and wished desperately that John's sisters liked him.

They pull in front of a charming ranch house and Gale smiles at how quaint it is. A modest two floor house painted a calming blue with pristine white shutters and a bright yellow door. Gale swallows thickly and his hands find each other again. John leans over into Gale's space, placing a hand on both of Gale's and kissing his cheek sweetly.

"Relax, Gale, they'll love you, I promise," John says.

Gale gives him a strained smile and sighs.

"What if they don't?" Gale worries.

John only smiles, eyes flicking to the sunny yellow door.

"Trust me, they like anything with a pulse. You might just have to be the devil incarnate for them to hate you. Speaking of..." John says, eyes now trained on the door.

It flies open with a whirlwind of brown hair and bright smiles. Two women scramble out to the truck, shouting at John and asking what took him so long. The one with longer hair practically yanks John from the drivers seat and sizes him up.

"Baby Bucky is decorated like a goddamn hero!" She crows and Gale smiles with how similar their cadence of voices were.

"I'm no baby, I'm a major!" John squawks and his sister just laughs, pushing his arm playfully.

"You're still a baby to me!" She hollars.

They both now turn to Gale, the shiny new object that John brought for them to play with.

"You must be Buck!" The other shouts with equal enthusiasm.

Gale had quietly gotten out of the car and was just observing John and his sisters catch up, when their eyes suddenly trained on him. He smiles nervously, afraid of being in the spotlight.

"Major Gale Cleven, ladies," Gale says, extending his hand out for a cordial handshake.

They both bat it away and bring Gale in for a hug anyway. God, they even smell like John did.

"My name's Jess, and that's El," The one with the long hair says, jabbing her thumb into her sister's stomach.

El laughs, shoving Jess away and they get into a playful slap fight that Gale can't help but laugh at.

"Pleasure to meet you both," Gale says, hauling his bag from the back of John's trunk.

El turns around and gives John a look of genuine surprise.

"How did you convince this sweetheart to mingle with the likes of you?" She balks.

John is by Gale's side now and throws his arm around his shoulder, bringing him in closer to his waist.

"Must be my stunning good looks," John beams and Jess almost throws something at him.

They walk into the house and Gale allows himself to take it all in. It's the perfect house for children, Gale thinks; large kitchen with a living room and a large radio on the windowsill. It's wallpapered with soothing colors and warmly lit. Gale genuinely liked the place.

"Gonna bunk with me, Buck?" John asks, wiggling his eyebrows obnoxiously.

El intercepts them before they get to Johns room.

"Nuh uh, you got Buck all afternoon I want to get to know him," El says, grabbing Gale by the arm and attempts to take him down the stairs.

Gale looks back at John and just shrugs his shoulders.

"Duty calls," He says, and John throws him a wink.

Jess and El give him a tour of the house and Gale compliments when necessary, making sure to turn the charm up to eleven. They walk into the kitchen and Gale is immediately hit with the scent of fresh cooked food. There are already dishes waiting on the counter and Gale is dumbfounded.

"Is this all for me?" Gale asks, and he can feel tears welling in his eyes. He had never been this spoiled in his life, not even by his family.

"Ma's even making you a pie! Jesus where is that woman, MA!!" Jess shouts, peeking her out out into the living room.

John's mother is clearly where they got all of their looks from, Gale still hasn't seen a photo of John's father so he can only assume, all of the girls are practically a carbon copy of her. She has pale, green eyes that crinkle with crows feet when she smiles, wavy brown hair laced with grey, and the same smile Gale has seen in all of the Egan children.

"I hope Elise and Jessica aren't giving you a hard time, come here darling," She says, voice quivering with age and arms extended wide.

Gale wraps a careful arm around her and almost cries at the feeling. His mother almost never hugged him like this.

"Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Egan. I thank you for letting me stay in your home," Gale says.

Mrs. Egan waves him off, pinching Gales cheek and smiling.

"Ah no Mrs. or Mr's around here, call me Anne," She says, and Gale does so with a smile.

The rest of the afternoon before dinner is El and Jess fussing around in the kitchen with their mother and John showing Gale the property. He kisses him every so often and Gale can't help but giggle; hasn't felt this happy in a long time.

"How you liking the family? They can be a bit much," John asks, linking his and Gale's fingers together.

Gale hums, looking up at the sky and smiling wide as ever.

"They're just like you, how could I not like them?" Gale says and John's smile gets instantly brighter.

They sit by the stream they wandered across and John decides to rest his head on Gale's lap. One of Gales hands lazily tangles in John's hair, massaging his scalp and just bathing in John's presence.

"Do your sisters know? About us?" Gale asks.

John shrugs shifting himself so he's looking up at Gale through wind swept curls. Gale smiles and wipes them away from his forehead.

"I guess they suspect. I would always talk to Jess about boys when I was younger and I think El is queer too, ran away with a girl from the Red Cross as soon as she could," John sighs.

Gale feels a weight get lifted off his shoulders, almost. John's sisters seemed too kind to care about such a trivial thing. But Gale wasn't quite ready to show their love to the world yet.

"Can we keep it quiet? Just between us? I want this to be all ours," Gale says.

John hauls himself up from Gale's lap and nuzzles his nose into his cheek, smiling gently at the way Gales lips turn up into a smile.

"Of course, doll. Just you and me," John says, and places a gentle kiss on Gales lips.

Later at dinner, El and Jess make jokes about marrying Gale themselves while John protests, claiming he found Gale first. Gale can do nothing but laugh and laugh, and he finally feels at home.

woah this was kinda long but I love Johns family (head in hands) they love Gale as much as John does 🥹🥹

[elliespassagerprincess]

just found this song a week or so ago, and i can’t help but think of ellie every time i listen to it.. it’s called ‘she calls me daddy’ by king mala… if you could write a fic based on it i would fxcking love it♡

She calls me daddy - (ellie williams x reader)

Hi anon! Firstly this song fucking slaps??? It low-key reminds me of moth to a flame by the weeknd just lesbian edition. Anyway I hope you enjoy <3333

This story is based off the song She calls me daddy by King Mala! If you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)

Pairing: ellie x fem!reader

requests are always open, feel free to leave one or just send me a song and I'll take it from there:)

Warnings: cheating, men, homophobic parents

Summary: You might be engaged but you still always go back to Ellie

wc: ????

She's a little bit psycho

But she follows

When I call in the middle of the night

It might be a little superficial

She plays with the boys

But she comes home to me

Little fucked up but I think it's official

'Cause she might be your girl

But she's calling me daddy

"Hi Els" she heard you talk with a hushed voice. A smile spread onto Ellies face at the sound of your voice.

"Can you come over? I miss you" Ellie admitted.

"I miss you too" she could hear the smile in your voice.

God why did you have to be so fucking cute?

Ellie couldn't even see your face, but she can imagine the blush that spreads across your cheeks. The way your eyes crinkle anytime she says anything to you.

She knew the affect she had on you, but if only you knew what you were doing to her. It's embarrassing to even think about it.

"I'll try to come..." you started.

Excitement filled Ellie, as she thought of everything the two of you could do. You could watch a movie, or she could do your hair.

Oh! Maybe you can paint her nails-

"but Josh is here so I'm not sure" you finished your sentence.

The joy Ellie felt moments ago fell flat at the mention of your fiancè's name. She wanted to groan whenever you mentioned him in any conversation.

Why do you care so much? You don't even love him.

You quickly said goodbye when Josh called you to join him and all Ellie could do was wish she was him.

He gets to spend time with you. He gets to see you everyday, he gets to spend the rest of his life with you.

What does Ellie get? A few hours with you before you are called by your dear future husband. Hushed calls and quick texts.

No, Ellie didn't deserve this at all, but yet she stayed because she couldn't get enough of you.

As much as Ellie pretends to be in control of your relationship, you were the one that had the final say. Whatever you wanted, she would do.

It's kind of fucked up if you think about it.

The way you're playing the perfect daughter and the perfect wife while you would always come back to Ellie that same night. How you would take pictures with your fiancé, and soon after send Ellie pictures no one but your so called spouse should see.

It never bothered Ellie. Because she always knew that you belonged to her, and even if you were getting married nothing would change that.

She's mine

She wears a collar with my name

Secretive but not ashamed

She's mine

But I never tie her down

They always come around

Mine

Does he know that you call Ellie when he falls asleep? Does he know the type of pictures you send her? Does he fucking know how bad he is in bed?

Ellie wonders if Josh suspects anything. Hee probably wouldn't. He's so fucking stupid anyway.

He doesn't even know what your favorite color is. But Ellie does. Ellie knows everything about you.

The amount of times you've cried over your math homework. The amount of stuffed animals you had in your room.

Did Josh even know how much you loved Barbie when you were younger? Of course he doesn't.

Ellie let out a sigh when she saw your phone light up.

She gently reached over your sleeping figure, to grab your phone, trying not to wake you up.

When she turned the phone on, a picture of you kissing Josh appeared as your lockscreen. Ellie gagged at the photo, before she checked who sent you a message.

It was from the "love of your life", the message read 5 simple words: "when are you coming home?".

Ellie scoffed when she saw the text.

Is he really this fucking clingy?

Ellie replied "no! Sorry baby, I'm staying over at a friends house!"

Josh didn't even ask who. All he did was left you on seen.

Wow.

'Fucking nonchalant bitch' Ellie thought to herself.

She put your back onto the side of your bed as she lay down to face you. Ellie gently brought her hand up to remove the hair from your face.

Was this going to be it? Were you going to lie to your family your whole life?

Ellie didn't know the answers to these questions. And she knew even if she asked you, you would always reply with "I don't know Ellie" or "I don't want to think about it".

What happens if your affair gets exposed? Do you guys get to live a happily ever after?

In the past, before Josh was even in the picture, you and Ellie faced this same issue.

The two of you were madly in love but you could never be together. Everything you did was in secret.

Ellie liked to imagine that the reason why she never asked you out was because she could never stay committed to one person.

Back in college, Ellie remembered how'd she'd bring a different girl back to her dorm almost every night. But as soon as the sun rises she'd chase the girl out and she'd end up going to your dorm to cuddle.

She would always assure herself, that the reason she never told you back then was because she thought she would cheat on you. Like she did in all her previous relationships. But she knew that was a lie.

She'd been in love with you since the sixth grade, she was just in denial of her sexuality and she was terrified of your parents.

Ellie continued to stare at your sleeping face, as the light from the moon shown in.

If only she knew the situation the two of you would be in now, then she would've fought harder for you back then.

You should see their face when they finally realize

That she plays with the boys

But she comes onto me

Wanna change her mind but I get unwise

'Cause she might be your girl

But she's calling me daddy

You always knew you liked girls. Ever since you were a little girl. Your parents believed that only man and women could fall in love with eachother. You couldn't tell utter the word "gay" infront of them.

How were you supposed to live a lie? How were you supposed to pretend?

You fell in love with Ellie when you were 15.

The day the two of you lay on picnic blanket eating dry pieces of bread because Ellie forgot to bring toppings. You remembered you told her a stupid knock knock joke and Ellie laughed at it.

She always laughed at everything you said. Even when it wasn't funny. You looked at her that day, as tears fell from her eyes at the amount of laughing she did.

You realize you liked her a little more as a friend.

In a gay way.

When you were 17 Ellie kissed you.

And god you thought it was magical.

It felt like fireworks exploding. The world around the two of you blur as your lips passionately danced together. It felt like how all the romance novels described it.

You knew since that day, since that kiss, that what you and Ellie had was real.

The two of you started dating soon after.

Your biggest fear was that your parents would've found out. You'd be sent to boarding school, Ellie would be taken away from you and you'd be treated like shit for loving someone.

Unfortunately your worst fears soon became a reality.

Your mother had walked in while you and Ellie shared a quick kiss, and all hell broke loose.

Your mother ran in yelling, pulling you away from Ellie.

She blamed Ellie for making you this way. She used to say Ellie brainwashed you. But if only she knew. If only she believed you when you told her, this was love.

Your mother held you in her arms, as you reached out for Ellie. And soon after that, Ellie was kicked out and banned to come to your house or anywhere near you.

You were sent to boarding school and for the rest of your life your parents made you feel like shit, they made you feel worthless because of your sexuality till Josh came along.

The only reason you agreed to even consider getting married to him was so that your parents thought that you would be "healed".

After you were sent to boarding school you lost contact with the women you loved. All the men you've been with never compared to Ellie.

And even when the two of you reunited, you both knew your story wasn't over.

The love you shared was stronger than anything.

And as you stood infront of the mirror, wearing your wedding gown, all you could do was imagine that Ellie was the one waiting for you and not Josh.

In the mess

She's responsible

Change her mind

It's impossible

Close your mouth

You, catch a fire

Watch the girl get

What she likes

Ellie stood up as the wedding music started playing.

The crowd erupted in cheers as you walked down the isle.

Ellie looked toward your husband to be, the grin on his face made her sick. She wanted nothing more than to get a chair and to hit him in the face.

Ellie watched as your father left you with your husband. That should be her standing there. Not Josh. You should be the one walking to her, she should be the one you wore that dress for.

But yet you stayed true to your parents and you chose to walk down the isle to get married to someone you felt nothing for.

She watched as she fake smiled, she watched as you said I do and as you said your vows.

"You are mine for a lifetime" Josh spoke as he finished his vows. No you weren't. You weren't his.

She watched the lips that she has kissed so many times kiss another person. The pit Ellie felt in her stomach grew heavier, it felt like she could vomit at any moment.

The second you and your husbands lips touched the crowd cheered and screamed. Chants of your new surname filled the room as you locked hands and faced the crowd with your new husband.

A smile spread across your beautiful face, as the two of you started exiting the church.

You and Ellie locked eyes, as you made your way out of church. You gave her a small wink. A smile spread onto Ellies face.

That wink gave her hope.

Just because you got married doesn't mean you have to stop seeing eachother.

You've always been hers.

You don't need a ring to prove it. You don't need a wedding to prove your love for eachother.

Even though you were married Ellie had nothing to worry about, because she knew at the end of the day you'd be calling her daddy.

Authors note: a less depressing one for the first time in a while lmfao, but don't worry your regular scheduled angst will return in my next post;).... remember you are loved and to always be kind, my requests are also always open. I love you all!

Yours truly,

Zia <3

[m3talmunson]

WORD COUNT: 2,296 (just warning u <3 enjoy loves)

Steve didn't expect anyone to remember. It's not like his parents ever remembered to leave a message. It's not like Nancy remembered (although, a couple months later she called him bullshit, and well, that takes the cake). He never bothered to tell the kids, and he didn't blame Robin for not remembering when the day they told eachother they were still coming off of those Russian drugs. He remembered hers though. He remembered that her birthday was March 10th. He threw her a surprise party, invited her band nerds, invited Eddie, fresh out of the hospital, invited Dustin and Erica, their whole trauma bonded troop.

And somehow in the mix, a month later when it was his turn, nobody remembered his.

That was, at least, what he believed. But one person remembered.

A week prior, Dustin had got his grubby little hands on the information of Steve's birthday. He needed to know and wasn't willing to ask Steve, not willing to expose that he didn't know the older man's birthday. So he asked around.

After going down the list, through most of the other kids, through Robin, and even Eddie, he ended up slinked over at the Byers-Hopper residence, quizzing El on how far her powers go, if she could maybe find a way to figure out his birthday. El explained that she probably can't do that, but she was willing to try for Dustin's sake. She rushed into the living room, Dustin in tow, finding the nearest radio and trying to rush out with it before getting stopped by Hopper and Joyce, who were on the couch watching the TV, which those two gremlins so unceremoniously cut in front of it twice already.

"Woah woah woah! Slow down there, what's going on?" Hop asked. He knows when El frantically needs access to a radio, that something's going on.

"It's Steve." She says, not offering any context. That immediately gets Joyce into defensive mode. Nobody messes with her boys. Or any of her kids, for that matter.

"What's wrong with Steve?" She asks, jolting up out of her comfortable position.

"Woah hold on, he's ok!" Dustin explains. At that, Joyce let's out a relieved sigh and lays back into Hoppers arm that was just wrapped around her.

"Yes! He is ok, we just need to see him." El finally explained.

"Yeah! About early June a year ago I said something about his age and I was wrong, which means his birthday is some time soon and I don't know it! And El said she might know a way to find out!"

"Oh you don't need to go through all that! Steve's birthday is next Thursday. I was gonna make him a cake and bring it to his house, like I did last year! Why didn't you just ask around?"

All three of the others in the room were confused by her response, even Hop, who had never even thought of the idea of doing something for the Harrington boy's birthday, even though he's the closest thing to a father figure the boy has got.

"Next week??" Hopper asked, suddenly feeling bad for not knowing that about the boy, or that Joyce has been the only one caring for him the year prior on his birthday.

"No I did ask around! You just happen to be the only person in Hawkins to know it!" Dustin said, cutting off any answer that might have come to Hopper's question.

"Not even Nancy or Robin or Eddie?"

"Nope. You're the only one." El said. El didn't really have a birthday, so they threw her a 'Found You!' party every year. It gave Will something better to focus on that day every year, so it made everyone pretty happy. She knew how much birthdays meant now.

"Well that just can't be. We'll have to throw him a party. Everyone needs a good send off into year 20." Hopper said, standing up and getting Joyce and El and Dustin to the dining room table, pulling Will away from his painting too, to plan how they were doing this.

One game plan, a thoroughly scribbled-on napkin, and a couple of phone calls later, Robin and Eddie were in on it, finding a way to get Steve from work to the Byers-Hopper house on a random Thursday. Robin wouldn't be working that day, so Steve wouldn't need to drive her to work. Eddie was fresh out of high school, (it really was his year!) so he did actually have a job, but he was pretty used to spending his lunches at Family Video.

They decided that Eddie would offer to hang out after work, shoot the shit or whatever, and pick Steve up from his house after work, bringing him to the house where the kids and everyone would be waiting.

This year, Steve was going to feel valued, no matter what.

~~~~~

Steve woke up, dreaded his shift ahead, and got ready as per usual that day. It didn't really matter that it was his birthday, there was no red dot on the receiver saying anyone else knew it was his birthday and might have called, so he pretended it was just a normal day, exactly like the rest of the world was doing.

The real crime is that his birthday fell on a Thursday. Thursdays, even over summer, are the slowest days for Family Video, so they don't even bother scheduling two people for the day. So he couldn't even hope Robin had maybe remembered his birthday, because he wouldn't see her all day. He would at least see Eddie, who he thought didn't know his birthday, so he couldn't feel bad for not telling Eddie, and Eddie couldn't feel bad for forgetting.

He had grown to love Eddie's lunch visits, sitting behind the counter talking to someone who understood him, who he could lower his mask around. Not all the way though. There are some parts of Steve that are for Robin's eyes only. Like the fact that he has feelings for Eddie. Feelings that he intended to keep hidden away. Where they were safe. Where he was safe.

Nonetheless, he lit up when that bell above the door chimed at 12:35, accommodating the quick ride from the record store Eddie worked at.

And, so what if Eddie didn't know it was his birthday, Eddie still asked to hang out after work, said "I found a spot you'll want to see," in that voice of his that eludes mischief, and Steve was in. He was going to go home, put on a nicer shirt and the watch he forgot on the bathroom counter that morning, and he was going to hang out with Eddie for his birthday.

He kept that dinky little smirk on his face for the rest of the day, and clocked out the moment Keith walked into those doors to pick up the closing shift, not sticking around for chit chat. He had 20 minutes till Eddie was off of work, which meant he had 30 minutes to get home, change shirts, spray on fresh cologne, and then pretend he wasn't waiting by the door to hear Eddie knock.

When he did though, Steve was not prepared to see a Eddie's bandana wave at him.

"You're gonna want full shock value for this one, big boy." Eddie said, whilst Steve hoped Eddie didn't see the blood rise to his cheeks at the nickname.

"Can I at least put it on in the van?"

"I'll settle for that if you don't gripe about the music!" Eddie joked. He had actually gotten a tape from Jonathan of Tears for Fears, so he knew Steve wouldn't.

"How am I supposed to do that when you blare it loud enough for Indianapolis to hear?"

"I think you'll like it today Stevie." Eddie said, opening the car door for Steve and giving a little bow, then watching Steve tie the bandana around his eyes as he walked around to the driver's side.

"Feel like I'm getting the full El treatment." Steve chuckled, as he heard the car door open.

"Hardy har, just make sure you can't see. I mean the shock value thing." He said, turning the key in the ignition. As the music started, Steve let out a little gasp, and reached blindly for Eddie's arm beside him.

"Is this?? Tears for Fears?? Aw, Eds, you don't hate all of my music after all, how sweet." Steve joked.

Eddie was thankful that Steve was blindfolded, so he couldn't see the pink tinge to his face.

"Just for you Stevie."

Steve relished in the quiet music, the bumps in the road, and the comfortable silence between him and Eddie with a smile on his face. It was a miracle, to Steve, that someone cares for him on his birthday, even unknowingly, because it hadn't happened in so long. Steve was even contemplating telling Eddie it was his birthday, thanking Eddie for the best birthday he had in a long time, when the van stopped, and the music right after.

"We're here!" Eddie told Steve. "Ah ah ah, don't take the blindfold off, I'll help you where we're going. Full. Shock. Value."

"I'm beginning to think it's a special occasion or something." Steve said, like it wasn't one. That hurt Eddie's heart a little, but it's ok, he thought. Steve will know how loved he is soon.

"C'mon, I'll help you up the steps." Eddie offered, grabbing Steve's hand for completely platonic reasons.

"Steps? Eddie where are we?" Steve asked.

"Full shock value, remember?" He said, opening the door for Steve and guiding by the shoulders into the Byers-Hopper living room, where the party, Jonathan, Nancy, Robin, Joyce, and Hopper were waiting behind a cake that Hopper haphazardly stuck 20 blue and green candles on. Lucas even dragged Erica along, when she pretended she didn't want to go wish Steve happy birthday.

"Blindfold off Stevie." Eddie said.

Steve didn't expect anyone to remember. Didn't expect to peek from behind the blindfold with one eye and be serenaded with a chorus of "SURPRISE!!!"

He stepped back into Eddie at the loud noise, Eddie grabbing back on to Steve's shoulders.

Steve didn't expect Joyce to be holding up a cake with 20 lit candles, didn't expect Dustin to rush to his side, didn't expect Hopper to clap him on the back after he stepped forward.

"Happy birthday kiddo." Hop said.

"How did you- when did- guys!!" He said, looking down at the cake.

"Red velvet and chocolate icing, with blue and green candles, your favorite." Joyce told him.

"Just like last year-" He was cut off by Joyce putting down the cake on the coffee table and wrapping Steve up in a hug. Which caused the rest of the group, even Mike, to wrap Steve in a huge group hug. When they all pulled away, Lucas held up the cake.

"Make a wish, man." He said.

"Guys- I don't deserve all this, how can I-"

"Oh cut the shit Steve, we love you. Now, you heard him, make a wish."

And so, Steve closed his eyes, thought for a second, and blew out the candles. And then, just like that, the big old sheet cake was getting sliced into enough squares for all of them.

As the party went on, and they all laughed, and drank an obscene amount of soda, Steve slipped into the silent outdoors offered by the Byers-Hopper back porch swing. He stared off into the treeline, hoping nobody would notice his absence. He would be back inside in a minute or two, he just needed to catch his breath after it all. Then he heard the squeak of the screen door, and saw Eddie's leather jacket sleeve before looking back into the tree line.

Eddie took a seat to Steve's right, and placed a little wrapped package on Steve's lap.

"Oh Eddie, you didn't have to-"

"Open it." Eddie cut him off.

Steve carefully tore the (oddly enough, very neatly done) wrapping paper away, revealing a hellfire shirt.

"You? You got me a hellfire shirt? But I'm not a part of the party?" Steve failed to stop the smile from leaking into his face.

"Of course you are? Considering how since school got out you've let us use your house, you drive the goblins around, and you've been doing it for years! It's about time you have one." Eddie explained.

Now, Steve couldn't stop the tears from gathering in his eyes.

"Yeah but, I don't deserve any of this. Anyone can drive those kids around, anyone can lend you a space, it's the least I could do. Hell, I'm not even going to college, I'm just another a high school has-been asshole working at a barely above minimum-wage job. There's so many better people you guys could have chosen to care about." Steve settled his eyes back on the treeline, trying his best to hide the tears that his voice revealed, that were now slowly streaming down his face.

"Steve no. Absolutely not. You're so much more than that to all of us. To me." That got Steve to look back at Eddie. Eddie held Steve's face in his hands, let the tears run down his arms."You're our warrior, you keep those little misfits safe, you saved my life. And we all know you would take bullets for those dorks. You heard Little Red. We love you, Steve..." Eddie hesitated, looking away for a moment. "I love you, Steve. Even if none of the other assholes in this world will, I do."

Steve couldn't let Eddie go on any longer. Not when he was saying stuff like that. So he closed the distance. And when Eddie kissed back, he knew everything would be alright.

He didn't expect people to remember. He didn't expect people to care about him. But now he finally understood, the unequivocally did.

[aishangotome]

Elbert Greetia: Chapter 12

Chapter 11

CW: Hint of Child SA

♡———♡

Alfons: You can run away anytime, you know? Isn't it a bit harsh for your delicate heart, like glass?

Kate: ... No.

(I haven't heard what I want to know yet.)

I shake my head firmly and fix my gaze on Alfons.

His cheeks deepen with a smile.

Alfons: —Then, let me continue the story.

Alfons: After El's mother took her own life, a maid discovered the situation upon entering the room.

Alfons: El's father was deeply grieved.

Alfons: After all, the reason his beloved wife had taken her own life was because of her own son...

Alfons: ... or so he thought, but it was the child of another man, a man who had violated his beloved wife.

Alfons: The anguish he must have felt... It must have been an unimaginable hell of suffering.

*Back to Elbert's dream/past*

Maid: Aaaaaah!! Someone, anyone, come! Milady... Milady!!!

A maid's scream came from Mother's room -

The memories from those days after are terribly vague, even in my dreams.

I remember how Father, who had always been calm and kind, became visibly haggard.

He started looking at me with the same fear and disgust that Mother had.

Then, he painted over Mother's portrait, which he had loved so much, with black paint.

Whenever I was near, Father would break down in tears.

Then, he would shake his head frantically and scream.

Hugh: Aaagh!!

Elbert: Father, Father, are you alr–

Hugh: Don't... come near me...!!

Hugh: ... Please, stay away. When you're near, I feel like I'm losing my mind!!

The terrified look in my father's eyes, as if he were seeing a monster...

Every day, his screams would echo through the mansion, his throat raw from shouting whenever I approached.

-

Alfons: Maybe that was....

Alfons: El once told me it might be because of his ability to "bring back the saddest memories."

Alfons: El realized... much, much later, after joining Crown and learning about his own abilities...

Alfons: ...that he might have been showing his father the image of his mother's suicide over and over again.

(Does that mean he was unintentionally triggering those memories by stepping on his father's shadow...?)

It's not impossible. But still...

(Thinking about how much it must have hurt Elbert to learn the truth later...)

An unbearable sadness welled up inside me, choking my throat.

Alfons: El naturally began to avoid being seen by his father.

Alfons: Even as a child, he wanted to protect his father. He thought that if he didn't get close, his father wouldn't have to suffer anymore...

Alfons: ...It seems that the "comforting" by the butlers and maids began around that time.

Kate: ...!

My heart pounded with an unpleasant sound.

The thump-thump of my blood rushing through my veins overlapped with Alfons' voice.

Alfons: Perhaps, in the beginning, it really was... out of goodwill.

Alfons: They started gathering around El's bedside, who always slept alone.

Alfons: "You must be lonely, you must be sad. I will save you."

Alfons: With gentle smiles plastered on their faces, as if singing a lullaby–

*Back to Elbert's dream/past*

Whether it was a stormy night with the wind knocking against the window, or a quiet night with a beautiful moon, the shadows of several adults would stretch into my room every night.

Elbert: Stop...No...Don't touch me.

Jeffrey: Everyone wants to touch you because they love you. We want to love you, so we want to hold you.

Jeffrey stood behind the adults who were whispering "love" and touching me, looking at me the whole time.

Jeffrey: Instead of receiving love from your parents, we will give you our love.

Elbert: …… Love ……?

Jeffrey: Your beautiful, melancholic figure …… stirs the hearts of everyone in this mansion.

Jeffrey: Pitiful, beautiful …… Poor Lord Elbert.

(Is this... love?)

Discomfort ran through me, and fear washed over me.

But surely Jeffrey and the others who touched me didn't look at me like I was a caterpillar.

(Is it strange that I can't be happy about this?)

I didn't know. I just felt like I shouldn't resist.

With each passing day, the places they touched changed.

I felt sick and wanted to vomit, but gradually the fear and discomfort numbed.

The real me must be filthy. After all, I was born from sin.

But they say I'm beautiful. Beautiful, so they will love me.

(If I could become more beautiful, maybe Father would smile again.)

(Maybe he would forgive Mother and me.)

(Maybe I could stay by his side without making him sad.)

-

The moon waned, and in the abyssal darkness akin to the depths of despair, Alfons' eyes narrowed as if in reminiscence.

Alfons: The decisive incident occurred because of a certain doctor.

Alfons: That doctor had been visiting regularly to examine his father, who had grown haggard after the death of his mother.

Alfons: One day, he offered to examine him as well and invited him into his study...

Alfons: He tried to do the same thing to him that he had done to his mother.

Kate: .....

(That's too horrible...)

As if possessed by Elbert's emotions at that time, her fingertips trembled subtly.

Alfons: Sadly, beauty attracts disgusting desires to the point of nausea.

Alfons: I'll spare you the details of how I happened to be there, but...

Alfons: I met him right after he had plunged the scissors into the doctor's chest.

Alfons: Then, what do you think he said to me?

Kate: ......what.....?

Alfons: Covered in blood--

--"Am I beautiful now?"

Kate: Ah... you... what did you answer?

Alfons: I gave him "the words he was seeking." I'll leave the content to your imagination.

Alfons shrugged, his expression unchanged.

Alfons: Elbert ran to his father's room, wounded.

Alfons: A few minutes later, before his eyes, his father fired a gun... at his own head.

Kate: !? Why...?

Alfons: Well... that's beyond my knowledge.

Alfons: In the end, the beauty he perceived saved no one... that's what it seems.

Alfons: So, what do you think? This is his "sin."

The story ended abruptly, and I stared back at Alfons in shock.

Kate: I don't understand...

Alfons: Oh, I don't think there could be a more thorough explanation... what exactly is it?

Alfons' words unleashed a torrent of emotions I had been holding back.

Kate: Wh-what... is Lord Elbert's sin?

Kate: Where in all of this was Lord Elbert's sin...!?

When I raised my voice unintentionally, I heard a faint chuckle.

Alfons: Not being born "beautiful."

Kate: ....?

Alfons: That is what stole the love between his father and mother, destroyed their happiness...

Alfons: And made them so sad that they wished for death.

Kate: That's not... Lord Elbert's sin...!!

Alfons: Objective facts and subjective facts are often different.

Alfons: In fact, Elbert is repeating meaningless acts of atonement.

Alfons: He feels more guilty the happier he is, and continues to collect beautiful offerings to dedicate to people who are already dead.

Kate: ----!

Why Elbert is drawn to beautiful things.

Why he shows no interest in the things he collects.

Why he protected me from that horrifying scene on the night we barely met.

At this moment, the reasons that seemed understandable yet elusive connected in a single line.

(Oh my...)

*flashback*

Elbert: ––You don't have to look.

Elbert: ...Sad memories can easily kill you.

-

Kate: Why don't you resist... May I ask?

Elbert: ...........I'm used to it, and besides......

Elbert: If I move carelessly at that distance...I'll step on the shadows.

Elbert: I don't want to make them sad.

*flashback over*

Elbert hated making people sad.

(It's because his parents took their own lives out of sadness...)

(He was afraid of making even strangers like me experience that sadness.)

That must be nothing other than Elbert's kindness. And...

As if his past is still tormenting him, my heart is in turmoil.

Kate: Why... didn't anyone protect him?

Kate: Lord Elbert isn't just beautiful on the outside... he's a kind person with a beautiful heart.

Alfons: Because Elbert pushes away those who try to protect him.

Alfons: Elbert doesn't want it. For him, all the pain inflicted upon him is a punishment he must accept.

Kate: What about you? You're by his side...

Alfons: He keeps me around because I won't try to save or judge him.

Alfons: For him, I'm a convenient existence.

Alfons: And it's also convenient for me to be with him. Even if he has a slightly troublesome collecting habit, or rather, a self-harming habit.

His words, logical to the point of being hateful, corner me.

(It's not right to be angry at Alfons, it won't do any good...)

Even as I try to calm down, my confused mind can't seem to settle.

Alfons: As you said, Elbert is "kind."

Alfons: "Obtaining" you would give him the greatest pain.

Alfons: ...Just as he wishes.

(If I become Elbert's...)

What will he lose next in exchange for the pain he desires?

Alfons: That's why I told you not to get too involved... You're foolish.

Alfons: If you don't want to hurt Elbert, the best thing is to make him forget his attachment to you.

Alfons: I'll help you distance yourself.

After hearing all this, I can't possibly distance myself from Elbert now.

(Because... I...)

I find myself hopelessly...loving him, who is too kind.

Kate: Even if I distance myself because I don't want to hurt him...

Kate: Lord Elbert will just repeat the same thing and continue to get hurt, won't he?

Kate: I... don't want Lord Elbert to get hurt anymore.

Kate: I'll stay by his side.

Kate: I'll think about how to prevent Lord Elbert from getting hurt anymore...

Alfons: ...I had a rough idea when you came looking for me... is that so?

Alfons coughed softly in a low voice.

It sounded slightly sad, but when he looked up, Alfons had his usual dubious smile.

Alfons: ...Well, do as you please. However...

Alfons: Let me just say that you shouldn't underestimate his attachment to something that he "desires."

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 13

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[thisapplepielife]

Written for a @astrangersummer.

Imagine the Stars

Week #5 Prompt: Constellations | Word Count: 680 | Rating: T | POV: Max | Pairings: None | Characters: Max | CW: Canon Injuries, Recovering After Vecna | Tags: Post S4, Max Thinking About the Stars, A Bit Melancholy, But No Infinite Sadness

Max sprawls in the grass, and closes her eyes. Not that it matters. Dark is dark. It just feels less overwhelming when her eyes are closed. Like things are still the same, even if they really aren't. Not at all. 

It's all just noise at his point: the doctors, the specialists, all saying that she might get her sight back, or at least some of it. But they don't seem sure, are only guessing, she knows that, and she's not betting on anything right now. 

Because they don't know, can't know, how it actually happened. So, finding a treatment might be impossible. It's probably pretty damn hard to fix magical wounds by mortal means.

But it's fine. Whatever. It kind of has to be, since she doesn't really have a say in the matter. She's gotten used to it. The sunglasses and the cane. The constant babying by all her friends. Steve Harrington hovering, mothering, worse than ever before. 

She's not alone. Almost never is. But she sure feels isolated a lot of the time.

Lucas reads to her, but it's not the same. She wants to hold the book in her own hands, let her eyes skim across the text, taking in, or ignoring, as much as her brain is in the mood for at the moment.

El paints her nails, but Max can't see the shock of color, so does it even matter? She gets no joy out of it, not really, but she thinks El does, so she lets her continue. Because it hurts nothing.

They're all laughing off in the distance right now, and she can pick out all of their voices, imagining them just as they were the last time she'd seen them all.

The last time she'd seen anything at all.

She needs to think about something else. Something more manageable. 

The grass. The grass under her is soft and almost cool, and she stretches her arms out, grasping two fistfuls of earth, squeezing. And she feels grounded. Centered, once again.

It's daylight. Mid-afternoon, with the sun beating down overhead. But to her, it could be night. The sky could be the clearest blue, or the darkest red. 

She believes it to be the bluest of blues, these days.

But in her own private cover of darkness, she can also picture the night sky. The same inky, dark blue-black sky that her dad used to point out the constellations in, looking overhead, when she was a little girl. Him, giving their names, their shapes, tracing the paths in which she was supposed to be able to see them. 

Max would look, would study the stars, and while she could find the Big Dipper, that was about it. Could see the double stars that make up the second point in the handle. Could trace the outline of the whole constellation with her finger.

But more often than not for the others, though, she'd just pretend to see what he so easily could. Her dad knew them all, and always told her she'd be able to see them too, when she was older. Now she's older, and she most definitely can't. 

And she may never be able to, not now.

So, she does the next best thing. She pictures the handle of the Big Dipper, counting the stars until in her mind's eye she can see little lines tracing around the stars, stitching them together into something bigger. Something different. All the parts connecting themselves together, making up a bigger whole. 

She did that, too, she knows. In that attic. She sealed her own fate for the greater good. 

And she'd do it again, even if she wouldn't be happy about it. 

They killed Vecna. Not immediately. Not until after there were victims, and damages that may never be undone.

But they're free of that terror, now. Hawkins, and hopefully, the whole goddamn world. 

The world is blue, not red.

And because her friends finished what they started, it's safe for her to lay in the grass, soaking up the sun, while she imagines the stars.

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @astrangersummer and follow along with the fun! 🌌

[stormypasta88]

mike knows el didn't commission the painting - a theory

i was about to go to sleep and i shot up and remembered.

tl;dr: mike analyzed the letter that el sent him about the painting (s4e1) and knew the painting existed and that will made it for a potential love interest, he just didn't know he was the potential love interest. full explanation under the cut

in the very first mike scene of st4, mike's reading a letter from el about how excited she is that he's coming to visit and whatnot. in this letter, she mentions the painting.

"Will is painting a lot, but he won't show me what he's working on. Maybe it is for a girl. I think there is someone he likes. Because he has been acting weird."

when we see mike, he's so in depth reading this letter that it makes him late. we can assume that this isn't his first time reading it because i don't imagine he'd choose to read a letter for the very first time when he knows he's supposed to be getting ready for school.

and we know that mike wants to be a writer, so there's a chance that he's actually analyzing this letter for potential second meaning. i can get into that later, that's not what this is about.

assuming mike has read this letter a number of times and has probably thought about and analyzed, there's no way he'd forget about the painting that el believes will painted for a girl, it likely consumed his waking thoughts.

tl;dr: mike knows about the painting and the painting being for will's potential love interest.

when it comes time for will to give mike this painting (and confess), mike knows about it already and likely sees it coming/ expects to see it eventually. but that's just mike knowing that the painting existed, not of its content which makes his reaction genuine.

when will goes and backtracks of the history and meaning of the painting, mike is kind of picking up that he's talking about himself through el in his feelings. but of course, mike doesn't say any of that because he wants to hear will out and get his side of things because he values will and his friendship.

when will begins to cry of having just done what he did, mike is left to simmer in his own feelings. i choose to believe that mike did notice that will was crying, but he was processing and wasn't sure how best to help so he let will cry it out.

mike would sit mulling over the painting and comparing will's account of things and el's account of things. i'd imagine it'd come up in season 5, but not in a "what painting" kind of way. mike has an entire binder of will's art, and had a few personal connections to this painting so he wouldn't forget it.

it'd come up in season 5 as a "i'm not gonna leave you behind, will" kind of way. a revision of the crazy together scene, of mike validating will's feeling and being empathetic and understanding. mike's acknowledgement of the painting would likely lead to his confession since it led to will's and then byler kiss, vecna is dead and the world is saved yippee we did it!

i love when the byler thoughts start byler-ing

[annab-nana]

Long walks alone or with your friends and making up back stories for people you see on the street

With the stranger things group

omg yes!! i'm not super happy with this one but i think it ends on a cute note so here you go my love <3

warnings: not proofread

❀ masterlist ❀

"do you think mike will kill us for not waiting to watch this with him?" lucas asked, will and max on either side of him.

"i'm not worried about mike being mad," you shared with the group, "it's steve i'm worried about."

robin chuckled beside you while dustin nodded in agreement.

most of your friend group was present on your walk to the hawk to go see the princess bride. the only ones you were missing were jonathan, nancy, mike, and el since they were on the wheeler family vacation and steve as keith wouldn't let him off. he called dustin to let him know that he wouldn't make it and to just go on without him, but you still feared he may be upset about missing out.

"he gave us the okay to go on," eddie offered while nudging his shoulder with yours. "no need to fret."

you nodded. "yeah, but i feel bad for him."

"so do i," max piped up before shuddering dramatically, "imagine having to work with keith."

"whoa," will muttered when a girl with bright purple hair and cool sunglasses walked by. his comment drew the attention of the rest of his friends as you all glanced over at the girl.

"i love her overalls," robin added.

dustin was next to speak. "i feel like she has a pet lizard."

"her name is raven and she definitely works at either a book store or a thrift shop," lucas tacked on.

will provided some more insight on the story your friends were creating, only he took it a lot further. "she is an artist who pours her soul into her art. her favorite things to paint are her pets, seasonal landscapes, and anything that has to do with the ocean. you'll never see her without remnants of paint on her skin."

"damn will, that was good," you complimented before eddie spoke up beside you.

"hey byers, you ever thought of writing a campaign for hellfire because i think you'd be pretty good at it?"

will beamed up at eddie and nodded fervently prior to the pair falling to the back of the group, discussing campaign details.

"how much you wanna bet that they're going to plan something the princess bride related after we watch this movie?" lucas whispered over to dustin.

you watched as the boy's smile grew. he stuck out his hand for lucas to shake.

"five bucks. you're on."

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[wheelercurse]

The painting plotline

or how the narrative was built for byler endgame. 

Back in July first, I was angry because I thought they had used the painting that was introduced as something important between Mike and Will's relationship to fix the straight relationship. But when I questioned the writing choices, I realized I was wrong.

Do they really end this plotline with a lie when the main theme of season 4 was about telling truths?

The answer is no, of course; it was just one more step in their journey. So, the truth has to come out, and we have two outcomes: they will get together, or Mike will reject him. And some people think Mike won't reciprocate, but that doesn't make sense because why would they build this complicated plot only to end in... nothing? And I said nothing because if they remain just friends and Mike is still with El, we're back at how this plot started.  

Anyway, when you view all this storyline in retrospect, you can see the painting plotline was built as a love story. They even used some classic romantic tropes with this one.

So, let's explain this better.

They introduced Will's character with the painting. Through El's letter, the first thing we learn about him is that he's painting something, and probably it's for a girl that he likes. So we knew that he was interested in someone, and Mike knew about this painting because he was reading the letter.

The next scene with the painting in it is the airport reunion. Will is excited to see his best friend again; we can assume this painting was for Mike. But then Mike gave him an awkward hug (first romantic trope). It's too common to see an awkward reunion between two characters, repressing feelings for each other. So, there's tension, but this doesn't end with the awkward hug. Mike looked at the painting, dropped his smile and asked about it, and Will avoided the question, saying it was nothing. There's tension between them. It's so blatant, and it was thanks to the painting.

The tension finally explodes with their fight (in the closet at Rink o Mania). Yes, there's no mention of the painting, but Will's bad mood started because of the airport reunion. And yes, Mike was upset about the stressful situation with El, but also because Will wasn't talking with him. Remember Will told him during the fight: "Mad that I didn't talk to you?" Will knows him better than anyone.   

In this fight, we have another basic romantic trope: one character insists they are just friends. And Will didn't insinuate that he wanted to be more than friends, but Mike took it with romantic connotations. It's a classic trope to state there's nothing romantic between them when they're repressing feelings.

To solve this conflict between them, Mike went to apologize. In this emotional scene, they shared an intimate moment that got interrupted. Oh yes, another classic romantic trope they have used many times in the show.

In this scene, Mike has some dialogues with romantic connotations. 

"Max, Dustin, and Lucas, they're great. It's Hawkins. It's not the same without you." "I feel like I lost you or something." 

At the end of this scene, they were closer, so Will decided to take the painting with him.

Another relevant scene it's the one when Will told El that Mike wouldn't like that she was lying to him. Will hadn't lied to Mike yet, but he was already hiding his feelings for him. This little interaction isn't just about Mike and El's situation but also Will and Mike's. And later, it will also become relevant to the painting plotline.

Let's also mention another relevant scene: Mike and El fight. At first glance, it seems like it isn't important to this plotline, but it is because it introduces their main conflict: Mike can't say I love you. This is just a surface level; their problems go beyond that, there are a lot of insecurities and misunderstandings around them, but I'm not going to dig into these. 

This scene is relevant to the painting's plotline because this painting is the thing that makes Mike finally utter those three words to El. I will explain more about it later.

Another important scene in this storyline is Mike and Will heart to heart in the desert. They are burying a body, and Will is staring at Mike with a lot of yearning; then Mike glances at him, and when he gets caught, he tries to look away. Another classic romantic trope.

They talked in the top of a car about the thing that Mike couldn't say to El, but he never mentioned what it was. Will told him: 

"Sometimes it's scary to open up like that, especially with people you care about the most, because what if they don't like the truth?" 

This line also refers to Will because he is scared of telling Mike how he really feels; he's in love with him. So, we are expecting that he will overcome his fear and be honest about his feelings, but he ends up lying.

The van scene. Mike opened up about his insecurities, and Will couldn't take Mike talking so little of himself, so he decided to give him the painting. And he gave him a speech, telling him that Mike is the heart, and he's a leader, he's the one who inspires and guides their group of friends, but he lied, saying that El was the one who commissioned the painting. Then, Will kept describing his feelings for Mike but used El's name as a disguise.

Mike was moved by these feelings. Will's words reassured him. Will has the love that Mike is looking in his failing relationship.

But remember that Mike knew about this painting, that's why he looked confused every time Will mentioned El's name. He was trying to connect the dots.

Let's move on to the monologue scene. It's fascinating how this scene should be just about Mike and El, but Will's presence is palpable. He even is in the shot when Mike said I love you for the first time. 

Mike stumbled on his words, and Will touched his shoulder and told him: 

"Don't stop, remember you're the heart." 

That line reminds Mike and us (the audience) about their talk in the van. These feelings weren't from El, and Mike is about to give this speech with the wrong idea. He believed that the painting was from El, that she needed him, but he was wrong. That's the whole point. That's why they lost. 

I have read people saying that Mike would have told El that he loved her without Will lying, but that was not what happened. This was a specific writing choice. Not only they wrote, Will disguising his feelings as El's, but he also reminded Mike about the painting, telling him that he's the heart, seconds before Mike tells his speech.

So yes, Mike finally utters these three words thanks to Will and his painting.

Another classic romantic trope: that one character is moved by these words or feelings, but they misattributed them, thinking they came from another character. 

For example, Beverly thinks the poem was for Bill but then learns it was from Ben, so they end up together.

Half of it: Ellie writes letters to Aster, pretending that they are from Paul, and Aster falls in love with these words, and she gets closer to Paul, but in the end, after learning the truth, Aster and Ellie kiss.

Gossip Girl: A character asks Dan to write his vows, and he does it, so these words move Blair, and she falls in love with them. In the end, when she learns they are coming from Dan, they get together.

There are more stories with a similar plot, but with these three examples, you get the idea.

They didn't mention the painting again in s4 because their plan wasn't to solve this conflict until the last season. But they ended the season with Mike and El barely talking to each other, even when Mike said these three words that El wanted to hear, there’s still distance between them. And Mike and Will are closer than the way they started this season. They got another important conversation, where Will confided in him about Vecna, and Mike reassured him.

So if the painting was the solution to fix Mike/El’s conflict why the ones who ended being closer are Mike and Will?

And if it was the solution, the plotline will be over.

With this outline, you can see that Will’s arc was about telling the truth about his feelings, but he was scared and most important, he thought that there was no chance for him, so he pushed Mike and El together. He sacrificed his own happiness for them. So, he has to be rewarded from the narrative. Again, remember they’re characters, not real person. Yes, I know that a real person isn’t due to reciprocate, but in a story there should be a good pay-off for your character. More, if he’s a kid that have been suffered all the show, and they have taken so much from him. 

And with Mike’s arc is similar. He was also hiding feelings. You can infer it for his actions, that he has feelings for Will. Some romantic tropes apply to him (looking away, awkward reunion, just friends, he created the intimate moment). But anyway his pov was hidden from the audience. He never confirmed that he in fact loved El, until the monologue that it was pushed by Will. When El asked him if he still loved her, he AVOIDED the question 

“Who say that I didn’t?” “I say it” “You know what I THINK of you.” 

And when he’s talking with Will, he never said that he should have told her how he feels, he just keep saying “I should have said that thing.” “I should have explained myself.” His arc also ended similar. At the end he wasn’t completely truthful about his feelings. 

Now you can see how the narrative was built up to make them endgame. The painting was a plot device to develop their relationship, and this story isn't over until the truth comes out. And when that happens, they will get together. It's inevitable. It's carved in the narrative.  

[itevilhag]

ang huling el bimbo | tangerine (bullet train)

tangerine x reader | tangerine x fem!reader | tangerine x assassin!reader |

summary: estel is late, and estel is never late. tangerine's worst nightmare comes true.

warning: ANGST with no happy ending, hurt/comfort (kind of), major character death, mentions of blood and violence (not explicit), apart from these one written, nothing more.

an: enjoy this angst filled fic that i wrote! and i highly recommend you listen to the song attached to the fic, just to rub more salt into the wound.

...

"Where the fuck is she?" Tangerine muttered to himself as glance at his blood speckled watch.

5:30 a.m

You were never this late on a job. Yes, there have been several occasions when you were off by a few minutes, but never this much. You were supposed to be here ages ago, and yet there's no sign of you. Usually Tangerine wouldn't worry this much about you on a job. You were a highly skilled assassin. The best of the best. Taking down every single target with grace and finesse, he had no need to worry over you. But he understood risk that this line of work could bring to someone.

"Fuck this."

"What the fuck are you doing?" Lemon asked, confusion painting his face as he watched his brother load his gun with a fresh round of ammo and holster another gun to his belt.

"I'm gonna go look for Estel, you stay here and keep that hard drive safe." Tangerine didn't even let Lemon speak another word as he was already out of the car.

“Rude bastard.” - Lemon.

With his gun cocked and his finger on the trigger, he went out and checked every single crevice of the warehouse that they had just infiltrated, passing by a few dead bodies as he walked around cautiously. While searching In the silence of the warehouse his mind began to wander to the most hopeful thoughts he’s ever had in his entire life to the most horrendous and gut-wrenching images his mind could conjure, and in all of them was you.

But a pained wheezing coming from one of the rooms made him halt his steps. Turning his head to his left, he came face to face with a door which was slightly cracked open. Moving closer to the door, he saw a slumped figure seemingly trying to reach for something. Knowing that they could potentially be reaching for a gun, he immediately opened the door. And right at that moment, Tangerine wished he hadn’t.

"Looks like cupid got me this time." you joked softly, with a barely noticeable grin on your bloody lips. Though your tone was light your appearance did nothing to hide the pain you were in. Sitting on the floor, your hair crusted with blood, your lip split open, a bruise blossoming on your cheek, your teeth stained with blood which dripped down from your lips to your chin, and an arrow making your chest it’s home, soaking the suit Tangerine had given you for your birthday with blood.

As your eyes met his, Tangerine lowered his gun and said nothing. He slowly walked towards you with a distant look on his face, his eyes shifting focus towards the arrow on your chest. He knelt in front of you, his hand stained red as his hands cupped your cheek, the other gravitating towards your chest. Your hand met his wrist, stopping him.

“Don’t. I’ll bleed.”

"Fucking bastard." he cursed. He is now backed into a corner. A corner where he can do absolutely nothing to save her. Pull it out or drive her out of the middle of nowhere to get medicated. He had two choices in his hands and yet both of them lead to the same thing- her death.

He hadn't even realized that he was crying until he felt your fingers brushing away his tears. Your skin felt warm and cold at the same time. A fucking reminder of what could and what would be.

"Hey, Tan?" He felt something cold being placed on his hand. "Give this to Lemon, will ya'?" A Thomas and Friends keychain, all three of their trains in one hook. "Tell him to keep it safe. Risked my arse for that one."

Tangerine despite the tears chuckled lightly. Through his disheveled curls, Tangerine could see her struggling to get something out of her breast pocket. But when she eventually did, something familiar was laid before his eyes. A velvet box.

"I was going to eventually. But it never was the right time." You opened the box and admired the ring that you were supposed to propose with on the reserved dinner anniversary a few months away from now, but now that will never come now would it?

You took the ring, and placed it on his finger.

"You just fucking had to, didn't ya'?" Your brows immediately furrowed, confused at what he said.

"Always beating me to it." Tangerine met your eyes, questions stirring within them, and he answered you by doing the same thing, he took the velvet box in his breast pocket, and presented it to you.

He took the ring out of the box, held your blood stained hand in his, and placed the ring on your finger.

"Now we're even."

Tears flooded your eyes, a smile grew on your lips as a watery laugh bubbled from your chest, which you immediately came to regret as it sent a wave of pain all over your body.

“Hey, come here.” he whispered softly, his arm wrapped around your shoulders guiding you to sit back against the wall. He felt your shoulders rise and fall as a heavy sigh of relief leaves your lips. You were so tired and exhausted, you just wanted to rest, to close your eyes and succumb to the enclosing darkness around you, to let it wash away the pain. But you couldn’t leave Tangerine and Lemon, you didn’t want to. But you guessed at this moment that fate had other plans for the three of you.

And as the warm glow of the sun rose on the horizon, painting the sky with hues of colors, bathing you and Tangerine in its light. You were flooded with a sense of peace. You knew that even when you leave, they'll be alright.

"I've never seen a proper sunrise before." You said softly, your head falling on his shoulder, his head on yours.

"It's so beautiful." you breathed.

Before the darkness collapse around, you felt warmth embrace you, and a kiss was placed upon your forehead, and then…

Tangerine's tears cascaded down from his cheeks to your forehead as your body slumped against his, your last breath on his neck.

"It is."

[bylertruther]

do you ever think about how will probably wishes he was braver?

that he could tell mike the truth about himself without having to speak in code. that he could stick to his guns when he's been wronged and stand up for himself rather than tucking tail and turning the other cheek. that he could be less shy, less sensitive, less cowardly, and maybe then his loved ones wouldn't forget about him as often as they do.

maybe then they would pick him first, rather than leaving him for last. maybe then they would want to hang out with him and hear what he has to say. maybe then they would treat him like they used to, like he can still take care of himself just like they can, instead of like a fragile little thing that they pick up only when they need him. maybe then they would care about him as much as he cares about them. maybe then he wouldn't doubt that it could all come crashing down once they know who he really is, and always has been, because the rest of him would've been enough.

like, maybe he wishes he didn't freeze or run away so much. maybe he wishes he wasn't so afraid all the time, of every little thing. that he could be brave like mike, el, or his mom. i mean, el's been through so much, too. why can't he be more like her? why does he have to hide behind her? he hides behind her when the monsters come crawling back, and he hides behind her when he can't bring himself to say what he really means—even after getting on her case about it.

he spent so much time on that painting. he didn't let anyone see it—it was that special to him. why couldn't he own up to that? there's no monster in the van with him; it's just him and mike and this painting of the party, nothing inherently incriminating or romantic, and still—he can't help himself. he retreats back into the shadow, shrinks into himself, and tells lie after lie to the person that he never lies to, that he knows doesn't fucking deserve that, just because he's too scared.

of course he'd feel like a mistake sometimes. of course he'd hate who he is (if That script is to be believed), when he can't even talk to the one person that would understand without lying straight to his face, over and over again, like a fucking hypocrite. of course he'd feel so lost without the person that tells him it's okay to be this way and shows him that there is indeed strength in it. of course he'd hate who he is when he's encouraging someone to be true and speaking about their courage, all while being incapable of taking his own advice, and giving the credit for all of his love and efforts and emotions to someone else.

so many people died to bring him back, so many people died just because he didn't stay dead when maybe he should have, and for what? so that he can continue to hide rather than live his life? so that he can turn into a "worse" version of himself? so that he can live in fear? so that he can continue to ache for a past that he can never return to, while everyone else moves forward and berates him for not doing the same? time stopped in the upside down when will went missing, and he's been stuck there ever since, too. too much has happened for him to move on from. too much has changed—he's changed. he's too different now, in every way, and the older he gets the more clear it becomes.

of course he'd feel like a mistake. of course he'd hate who he is. he's the common denominator here: in his loneliness and in this war. the boy who came back to life when others didn't. the boy that got possessed and couldn't fight it. the boy that turned into a liar and a coward and must learn to live with it, even if it's at his own expense. the boy that can't let go of the past and whom the past won't let go of either, because even after everything, he's still connected to this great evil that won't let him go. they got it out of him, and yet the tether remains, because of-fucking-course it would.

just—why? why him? why can't anything ever go right with him? why is he always the outlier? i think that overwhelming amount of fear, shame, grief, guilt, exhaustion, and loneliness would wear anyone down, let alone a teenager that never asked for any of it and has experiences so unfathomably unique that the only other people that could have possibly understood are literally dead.

[chirpsythismorning]

How the Ending of Stranger Things 3 Subtly (Blatantly) Foreshadowed the Love Triangle in Stranger Things 4

During Mike and Will's last scene together alone (essentially their goodbye), Mike shows visible concern over the fact that Will is probably gonna want to join another party after he moves. In response, Will reassures him that would be impossible, with Mike looking visibly relieved and even happy about this reassurance.

However, in contrast, as Mike is saying his goodbyes to El, only a moment later, Mike doesn't voice any similar concerns about the possibility of her meeting new people (even with the concept fresh in his mind, might I add). Also in contrast to his scene with Will, their goodbye here ends with Mike looking conflicted and confused at El's form of reassurance (love confession/kiss), rather than relieved/happy.

These are honestly such weird narrative choices on the writers part, if I'm supposed to believe that what Mike has with Will is strictly platonic and what Mike has with El is strictly romantic.

In fact, Mike even makes a point of mentioning Will's name in his plans to reunite with El during their goodbye, but he makes no mention of El when he says goodbye to Will...

Now, what should that tell you??

Even just reanalyzing these scenes from s3 in combination with what ends up happening in s4, how can anyone still come to the honest conclusion that m!leven makes more sense as endgame than byler?

El was still very new to basic experiences, let alone high school, and so although things did go horrible for her in Cali, they could've gone well in a better scenario.

She even gives Mike this impression in early ST4, saying that things were going amazing for her, and we saw Mike being fairly open and kind when it came to the topic of her new friends and new life in Lenora.

Though, once again in contrast, Mike was visibly uncomfortable over the topic of Will's life in Lenora, or more specifically, what El mentioned in her most recent letter, which was that she thought Will might be painting something for a girl he likes.

Interestingly, besides the fact that Will is painting more, this small piece of (mis)information about a girl, is the only thing we were shown Mike knowing about Will's new life in Lenora.

After humiliating himself at the airport by asking about the painting, since we the audience (and El) already know Mike knows about it and who it’s probably for, what follows is Mike making absolutely zero effort to find out anything else about Will’s new life, after now assuming El's suspicions were correct.

How very platonic of you, Mike.

We even get these hints via subtext that Mike thought El's new friend Angela could be the girl Will made the painting for.

So we’re seeing this pattern here, and it’s that Mike is actually shown to be more scared about losing Will to new people than he is scared about losing El to new people.

Then, low and behold, it turns out El was lying about having friends. In reality she’s quite miserable in Lenora.

You would think, despite the unfortunate circumstances, if Mike had actually been insecure about El moving on, only for those insecurities to be disproven, wouldn't he have been at least slightly relieved?

But we don't get that. After the truth is revealed, Mike looks even more upset and conflicted about his relationship with El than before.

He can try and say that his behavior is related to his fear that someone new will discover how special El is, followed by her not needing him, but in reality, that possibility was just literally disproven.

El had no one new in her life, and she was literally standing before Mike, begging him to need her. All he had to do was say I love you. Problem solved, right?

But he didn't. He didn't because the truth is so much more complex than he's making it out to be.

Going into the rest of the season, after El has left and it's only Mike and Will, there is absolutely no mention of Will's life in Lenora, with the focus instead being all on Mike.

Mike's trying to reveal to Will that he wants to end things romantically with El, saying their fight was one he didn't think they could come back from (even though he and the audience know all it would've required was three simple words), him even going as far as to say that he doesn't think him and El meeting each other was anything special ("IT WASN'T FATE! IT WASN'T DESTINY!" like, okay! Chill out, Michael!).

Mike is trying as subtly as he possibly can to hint to Will that he is having these insecurities about his relationship, a relationship that he believes is doomed to fail, but that he is scared of ending himself because it might mean losing El altogether.

Tragically, all it probably would've taken was Will voicing even an ounce of agreement in Mike's doubts, for Mike to finally end things with El. Seriously, where is s3 Will when s4 Mike needs him?? Will could've said anything to support his doubts, and Mike would've been throwing in the towel (no, but like literally the only time Will showed Mike any annoyance in s4 over Mike moping about El, and here Mike was, throwing El's letter in the garbage almost instantly... )

Only problem is, Will isn't letting that happen this time.

And what do you think that tells Mike? I mean, if I were Mike, I would assume that Will is definitely not interested. After all, he apparently likes girls now, despite implying he wouldn't move on last time they talked. And now he has someone else to gift his paintings too, not Mike.

Mike's probably realizing rn that he's going crazy all alone, without Will.

Because like, let's be real. If your best friend has feelings for someone, you talk about it with them.

We literally see this happening right now with Mike and Will when it comes to El. All. Season.

So why, after finding out about Will's potential love interest, has Mike made zero effort to learn more about said girl?

WHY not have Will become aware that Mike assumes there is a girl in the first place????

Matter of fact, why didn't we see Mike's reaction to hearing Will talk about his life in Lenora, at all???????

Maybe because it would've been even more obvious than Mike admitting to Will that Hawkins wasn't the same without him?

Maybe because this is a classic case of the misunderstanding/miscommunication trope, where it could all be solved if everyone just knew the truth?

Honestly, I think the moment we do finally get to see Mike's reaction to Will, maybe even just slightly implying life was better for him in Lenora, Mike is going to look... well, devastated.

And that would've been a little too on the nose for ST4, especially if their plan was to keep the general audience second-guessing Mike's feelings, up until the final season.

I do believe it's likely we'll eventually get Mike's true reaction to Will's life in Lenora though, because the lead up has been quite extensive.

In the s3 finale, they could've easily shown us Mike being worried El would find someone else in Cali, but they don’t. Instead they show us that Mike has that insecurity linked to Will.

The main insecurity I saw Mike having in regards to El at the end of s3, standing in front of Will's closet, was that it genuinely looked like he knew that if he was 'normal', he would've tried harder to fight for their romantic relationship. But he just couldn’t do it and so that’s why he looked annoyed with himself as she started walking away.

But suddenly, El's turning around, confronting him, and Mike doesn’t look the least bit relieved. He looks distracted and caught off guard. When she mentions his heart, that's when he starts looking downright panicked. Then, she's walking back up to him and kissing him, all while his eyes are wide open. Afterwards, he's silent and she leaves him in Will's room by himself, looking dumbfounded.

I would argue that if Mike did truly love El (romantically), but just didn’t know how to express it, he would have been relieved that she was making it so easy for him. After all, it didn’t even require any work on his part in that moment.

BOOM. She said she loved him too. BOOM. She kissed him. BOOM. They’re boyfriend and girlfriend again. That was easy, right?

But if them being together again was what Mike truly wanted at this point, 3 months post-breakup, then his reaction here makes no sense when you compare it to his reaction to Will only minutes before.

Which brings me back to the importance of the whole walkie/phone call/letters debacle.

What I think is that, initially, Mike intended to use the walkie to stay in touch with El, and to reserve writing letters for Will ('Love Mike'). Either that, or perhaps he was initially open minded to having equal contact with both of them, via letters and phone calls/Cerebro.

After finding out Will did want the same future as him, even getting confirmation from Will that he wouldn’t be 'joining any other parties', Mike is hopeful. How they talk is basically code for them both hoping their instincts are right about the others feelings; that they equally feel the same way about each other and that maybe, sometime in the future, maybe.

I do think they both had this realization in that moment during their goodbye. And that's what makes everything that follows going into s4 so stupidly tragic for everyone involved.

I think that talk with Will was when Mike realized he wanted to reserve romantic gestures for Will again (like he did in s2) and to go back to the more friendship based gestures with El (arguably also what he did in s2 with the walkie).

That's what was holding him back, this realization that he actually wanted him and El to stay broken up so that he could go back to this bond he had with Will.

But suddenly, El is telling him she loves him too and she’s kissing him and??? How the hell does he take back what he said those few months ago? She lost her only real father figure, she's moving away AND is revealing that she's in love with him? Obviously he’s not thinking about how in the long run, this misunderstanding will only hurt her more than just breaking it off now. He's thinking about how much she's already hurting and that he can't do this to her. And tbh, I don't really blame Mike for not having the courage to do it. I probably wouldn't either.

Quite frankly, I think a lot of the audience can't give up on M!leven because they too have the same mindset as Mike, which is that, because they feel so bad for El and everything she's been through, he's practically indebted to her, as she's saved his life countless times, and pretty much the entire world. How can he not love her? It's the LEAST Mike can do in his mind (and the audiences').

Don't get me wrong. I never wanted El to be heartbroken. I can say with full confidence that 99.99% of bylers want El to be the one to break it off with Mike. It's seriously starting to look like Mike is just going to pull a Ted Wheeler and be miserable forever if she doesn't take the initiative on this and so that's really the only satisfying way they can go about that at this point.

I do believe that El and Mike have a good dynamic, well, when they're not forcing themselves to be someone else just to be with each other. And I think s1 dynamics making a return means we'll hopefully get some of those honest interactions between them, like we did before society kind of forced its expectations on them.

But, if we're being honest with ourselves, season 4 is said and done, which means everything that happened, happened.

Mike has already broken El's heart. He's already done the very thing he didn't want to do, all because he was convinced that his only option was to lie to her, himself and everyone about the truth.

Like, there must be a reason why the writers keep showing us Mike struggling with committing to El, over and over throughout the entire series. The fact that when it's finally caught up to him, he looks downright terrified, like it all adds up, honestly. It all makes sense.

He’s also got internalized homophobia working against him, telling him, 'El is incredible, beautiful, a literal superhero and she loves you…? What’s wrong with you??'

And I think Mike’s visible turmoil at the end of s3 is this realization that he's right back where he started. Repressing his true feelings; reserving romantic gestures for El and as a result having no choice but to reserve platonic gestures for Will.

Then s4 comes around and we find out El and Mike have been keeping in touch via letters, with no mention of the walkies at all.

We can presume that they did not talk over the phone because of government surveillance, which was why Mike initially mentioned the walkies in the first place (again, remember he said this BEFORE they kissed/got back together).

We also know from Will's perspective that Mike only called a couple of times. We can assume maybe more than once, but probably no more than 2-5 times, he successfully got through to the Byers.

But we also now know from Dustin's perspective (and El's because she heard this conversation in the void), is that Mike called so much to the point where Dustin said he was 'always whining' about the line being busy.

And this will never not be the most important piece of the puzzle to me.

First of all, this line was put here for a reason. Second of all, no one outside of bylers in the fandom talk about this much, if at all, and that's probably because those refusing to consider the possibility of byler would rather not acknowledge that there's literally no other way to interpret this.

In present time, Dustin has just said Mike is 'always whining about' the Byers' line being busy, which means that even though it's been 6+ months since the Byers' moved to California, Mike presumably hasn't stoped 'whining about it' (always more so implies still/currently, not so much in the past/previously/'maybe a couple times').

So, why didn't Mike tell Will he called way more than 'a couple of times' when Will confronted him about it?

And why didn't we get anything regarding Mike and El keeping in touch via the walkie, ie, Mike's original plan?

We saw that in her room, El had a shrine dedicated to Mike, with the walkie sitting right in the middle, just waiting for him to call her. Because technically, in order for them to keep in contact via the walkie, Mike would have to be at Dustin's using Cerebro, or having stolen it (like he said he would).

But instead of seeing El being annoyed with Mike calling her constantly, we get Mike reading a letter from El, with shots of the Mike shrine, and El saying "I miss you so much I can hardly breathe, do you miss me too?" WITH NO RESPONSE and this awkward tension, seeing as what follows is nothing that constitutes an El shrine in Mike's space, the scene ending with him crumpling up her letter and moving on entirely.

We even get a scene of Dustin talking to Suzie on Cerebro directly after this scene with Mike.

So... What if this means Mike didn't follow through when it came to actually calling El on the walkie? What if she was already suspicious, not only about the letters all ending with 'from Mike' but also because she remembered Mike saying he would call so much, only for her to find out, directly from Dustin that Mike was always 'whining about' the Byers phone line being busy. Which meant all those times he could've called El, all those times she was waiting for him to annoy her like he said he would, he was busy annoying Dustin over the fact that he couldn't get ahold of Will...

What if Mike went from telling El he would call her so much she would have to turn it off, to in reality, only calling her on the walkie maybe a couple times, only to drop it all-together, which is what lead to the letters being the main source of contact in the first place.

Also WHY even have El be the one to find out that Mike was constantly calling the Byers to talk to Will, before Will himself finds out, with him still currently assuming the opposite...?

Honestly, I think it's kind of obvious, but I'll try to continue spelling it out.

I think Mike made a compromise with himself after both El and Will moved to California.

He couldn't break it off with El, not now and not this way. Maybe if he was straight and only liked girls, he could end things without feeling self conscious about the potential perceived implications behind it. But because he knows the true reason, he feels like it will give him away. Sadly, Mike also has very low self esteem and so he just genuinely believes that he should be honored to be loved by someone like El, because this is probably as good as it's gonna get for someone like him.

This compromise also involves Mike trying to keep things as platonic as possible with Will, and yet the way he goes about it still somehow tragically does exactly the opposite.

By not going through with using the walkie to call El, he's making the phone calls between him and Will 'their' thing, even when Mike tragically can never seem to reach him.

I think the idea of talking to El 'romantically' on Cerebro, only to hear Will in the background, who Mike now may have the urge to talk to after not being able to get ahold of him for weeks.?. I just know Mike cringed at the mere idea of that, like I could totally see something like that being a catalyst for why he made that separation between how he'd allow himself to communicate with them in the first place, post s3.

I also think he knew that if he wrote letters to both Will and El, there was a small chance they could end up comparing letters at some point, and the difference between how he opens up with Will in comparison to how he doesn't as much with El, would have made his true feelings glaringly obvious.

I do honestly believe that the reason they never let us read any of Mike's letters to El (beyond how they all end...) was because of this very fact, that it would have been the biggest giveaway of all.

Like, what the hell would Mike have even talked about anyways? It's literally canon that he was a 'shitty knockoff' of his true self when they reunited at the airport and then all day at rink-o-mania too (just like El), so maybe it isn't a reach to assume he also lied in his letters (just like El). Or even more likely, he probably focused on just asking questions about how she was doing/how the Byers were doing. After all, Mike has no reason to believe El wants to hear about Hellfire, or any of the things he knows aren't exactly perceived as 'cool'.

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This is also why I'm fairly convinced they're saving showing the audience a letter written by Mike for the final season, because that's when his true feelings will be revealed (and this time, it will be a letter that ends with, ‘love Mike’...)

Though I think it's unlikely we'll get flashbacks about what Mike was thinking between ST3-4 (possibility scene in New Moon... iykyk), I like to believe that he did try to write a letter to Will at least once, maybe right after they moved, but at the very last second he realized it ended with, 'love Mike', in contrast to a letter he wrote to El ending with, 'from Mike', and that's when it really hit him.

He knew he had to set boundaries with himself to be a good boyfriend and a good best friend (in theory of course, because he failed miserably).

The biggest giveaway of all though, is Mike not being able to fully submit to this compromise he's made with himself.

Even though he reserved writing letters to El, to convince himself he was at least trying to be a good, romantic boyfriend, while also trying to convince himself that his feelings for Will were strictly platonic (SHES MY GIRLFRIEND, WILL! /WERE FRIENDS. WERE FRIENDS!), he still couldn't give in entirely; he still couldn’t end the letters to El with, “love Mike’.

It took Will giving Mike constant reassurance and support all of s4, up until the very last second, for him to finally tell El he loves her.

And now here we are! Forced conformity caused the end of the world, so now we just gotta wait for gay love/endgame to save it.