#i do think dude has a letter somewhere also

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

UPDATE What's up, it's the proposal guy. You said you wanted to know how this turned out, so I figured I'd tell you. First some context though, because I'm mean and I wanna keep you in suspense longer.

1- I don't wanna doxx us so I'm not telling you where we live, but suffice to say, neither of us are American, and gay marriage has been legal here for less than five years. For both of us, this is the first relationship we've had where marriage was even an OPTION, and I think that's where we've been getting some of that whole 'this has to be a REAL proposal with EVERYTHING' idea.

2- I gotta figure out how to explain this properly. So, I'm pretty used to being the GUY guy in relationships? I was always the one who did the nice gestures, not the one they got done for. Before I met my dream guy, I didn't really notice or care that it was such a thing, I just assumed that's how shit worked. Also, I promised I wouldn't talk a lot about his stuff here, but his last boyfriend before me SUCKED. Anyway point here is, it turns out we both REALLY like feeling swept off our feet sometimes, and a big part of finding each other has been getting to feel special for once? That's a stupid sappy way of putting it the point here is I think all that's what morphed into "I need to be the one getting proposed to, also it has to be completely perfect", and then our Petty & Extra genes got involved.

So I'm sitting in bed thinking about all that up there, and watching all the comments coming in basically being like "Dude, you are BLOWING this" on repeat, and telling me to compromise, and I look up and see him flossing in the bathroom and making all these doofy faces at the mirror, and it's like a switch just flips in my brain, and I'm like "Oh, I'd rather he gets to have his perfect proposal than we both have an okay one". I'm gonna do it.

Morning rolls around, and while I'm 'out for my jog like normal' I hit up a pawn shop for a temp ring (the ring pop thing is cute but NOT HIM). I found one I was at least confident wouldn't get ruined the first time he got his hands greasy (he fixes old machines as a hobby it's hot as hell), got back home, and hid the box in the toe of my nasty ass workout shoes in the bedroom closet, since I figured he'd check there last.

He was still asleep, because he stays up late no matter what and then is SHOCKED he's tired the next day, so I called and booked a table at our usual anniversary spot. (Side note about the 'he picks bad restaurants' thing. This isn't an 'I like Greek, you like Chinese' situation, dude's just BAD at finding places. He either assumes pricey is tasty and I get to eat some overrated gourmet bullshit, or he'll try and find something hip and underground and risk giving us food poisoning again, and he REFUSES to give up and pick somewhere we've been before when it's his turn to plan date night. I'm obsessed with him <3.) Date was set, I'd propose on the 21st.

Some of you might have noticed this, but fun fact! It's currently the 16th.

Last night I'm doing dishes and he's been sent to our room for mug collection duty, and he's taking FOREVER, so I go check just in case he found the ring, because the man's a gift tracking BLOODHOUND. Turns out he hasn't, he's found my Angry Box.

I assume other people have an Angry Box? Basically, we had this huge messy fight right when we first moved in together, and I never wanna let it get that bad again, so I have this shoebox where I keep a bunch of our stuff I can look at if we're fighting and hopefully cool off. There's one of those photo booth roll things, letters we wrote when he moved back with his parents for COVID, the wine cork from our first date, shit like that. Anyway, he's just sitting on the floor staring at it, and I explain about the Angry Box, and then he! Proposes!!! Kind of.

He definitely didn't have anything prepared, because by 'propose' I mean 'ugly cried & rambled at me for several minutes before I figured out it WAS a proposal', but once I got on the same page it was amazing. I said yes, and he had to admit he didn't have a ring for me because he was CONVINCED he'd win and I'd do it, so I grabbed mine because, yeah, he was right. He was like "this is the ugliest ring I've ever seen" and I was like yeah well the plan is to replace it later and he went "No. You can pry this off my cold dead fingers. After I'm buried with it." So I guess it's not a temporary ring anymore.

I'm just gonna go ahead and skip to this morning. I pointed out we still have the reservation, and he said I should propose there anyway because "We can get a free dessert. They have those creme brulee shot glasses you like. And for love, or something" and I said ok deal, but that means you gotta get me a ring to keep it fair, and his eyes LIT UP. When I swung by his work for lunch he was still on the phone with a jeweler and he had a whole page of notes on three other ones. Pray for me.

OH PS: I was RIGHT that he'd been the one behind the cat biting me, but it wasn't about the proposal stuff, it's because I paid my baby sister three dollars to shout 'fuck you' every single time he enters a room she's in for (if you ask me, he should be madder at my sister for charging so little), and he did it by giving her a bunch of treats for biting his hands too, so now neither of us can pet our baby girl without oven mitts on. HOLY SHIT I love this man.

Oh my goddddddd I love everything about this <333 I awwww'd out loud on a voice call, like, six times while reading. You two are friggin perfect for each other and so obviously smitten with each other and I wish y'all all the happiness in the world

PS Are y'all planning to have a big wedding? If so oh boy I can't WAIT to get that one in the inbox

Original post

[dadsbongos]

CAN U PLSSSS WRITE A CUTE DENJI FIC OR HEADCANON/DRABBLE?? honestly idrc care which it is (obvi longer is preferred but i understand and am open to whatevs u give)

like about reader (fem) has a journal and in it she wrote about her dream dude, but like perfectly described denji and accidentally left it out and while they were hanging out or something cuz they besties he sees it and realized like "dude, that's me!" or something and then like a fluffy confession or something IDK that's just what i have sprinting through my brain rn 🤓

also maybe a lil kiss 🙏

thank you for giving me a denji idea... been fiending to write for him and just had 0 ideas

word count - 1.5 K / warnings - fem reader, not proofread!!, au where makima dies and denji just gets to be happy with special division 4 and they are familycore

~~~

“And the point of this is…?”

“I dunno,” Himeno answers honestly, shrugging, “I read somewhere that you can tell a lot about someone from their partner.”

“None of us are dating,” Aki huffs, fingers itching over the protrusion of his lighter in his pocket.

“Their preference in a partner,” Himeno groans in annoyance, gesturing out to the collection of papers in front of each of you, “Besides, what else do we have to do right now?”

Fair question, no matter how junky the science behind Himeno's apparent reading, not one of you had anything better to do. A storm was raging outside the Hayakawa apartment, all of Special Division Four having pooled there before the clouds even rolled in. Before Kobeni could shyly crawl out from the rambunctious crowd, there was lightning and thunder and an ear-piercing flood warning blasting on the television. 

So, Aki swallows the rest of his complaints and puts his head down with the rest of your division. His pencil sprawling over the paper Himeno slammed in front of him to describe his ideal significant other. A tedious task he's all too eager to bullshit through as soon as Himeno is finished staring down at him.

Denji is tapping the eraser of his pencil against the kitchen island, eyes straying around the living room. He worried his bottom lip between knifepoint teeth; only stopping when he tastes iron. Even Power has started writing.

Even you have begun writing. He wonders what you're writing. He wishes he could stretch his neck and take a peek without being obvious. He wishes he could read it at all.

Denji draws a stick figure that takes up a quarter of the page, dragging the lead back over the chest to add breasts. He glances at you through the side of his eye before adding hair and a small smile. And the black hair tie snug around your wrist even though he's only ever seen you lend it to Kobeni and Angel. Now he really can't avoid it: Denji has no idea how to write. 

Hopefully he can just coast with a bland drawing and let everybody think he's as shallow as they probably already believe. But when he lifts his head to glimpse at everyone else's pages, Himeno is already freezing him solid with her icy glare. Denji tucks his chin to his chest and subtly twists in the island stool to look at your paper again. 

Bullet points go five lines down the page; and the only thing he can make out is one of the few characters Aki’s taught Denji at his request:

愚か. Stupid.

Denji's eyes bounce back up to your face, eyes a little gooey and smile all soft. He knows that goofy look well, it's how he finds himself everytime he thinks about you. Before he can lose himself in that, he's jealous. You're making that lovestruck face over some stupid guy that Denji can't even write a strongly worded letter to. 

Denji writes one of the other few things Aki has taught him. Your name with a bold arrow pointing down at the stick figure. 

Then he erases it. He scrubs the pink bud over your name so hard he tears the paper in half. A loud shirrr dragging every eye to his hunched form, shoulders hiking higher over his face at the increased attention.

“Hark! The fool cannot even spell!” Power cackles, “Show me his words! Show me his mistake!”

“Power,” you chide, as though she's a fitful toddler and not a horrific Fiend, “Be nice. You can't write either.”

“Liar!” she points at you with a shaking finger.

Kobeni shyly taps Power on the shoulder before pointing at the paper overflowing with Power's manic ideals of a partner, “Anything else…?”

“Honesty!” she glares at you sharply, “And unwavering devotion!”

“Right…” Kobeni mutters unsurely, neglecting her own paper as she continues to scribble on Power's.

“Ignore her,” you scoot your stool closer to Denji and he manages to flip his page over before you can see the drawing, “Do you need help?”

He’s nodding before his mouth can even pop open, eventually he manages to sputter alongside it, “Yeah, yeah!” taking full advantage of his new opportunity to squish right against you at the island, “Can you write…”

Patiently, you await his request and he can feel his heart pumping in his throat every time you bat your lashes at him all sweetly. Your pen leaves jet black dots as it dips in your weak grasp, Denji has lots of words to describe you and all of them knot together on the tip of his tongue, tangled and lashing to fall from his lips at once.

Ultimately, he settles for the least descriptive, “Nice.”

“Someone nice,” you nod and scratch that onto his paper, “I like that.”

Denji feels his whole body go junky with sparks of electricity, blood boiling hot at how you feel comfortable enough to drag your paper into his full view. You point at your top bullet point, nail tacking loudly into the surface when his eyes don’t immediately stray from your face to the words below. Your bottom lip is sucked between your teeth as you study his reaction, leaning your face even closer to his.

Though you’re blurry and jumbled in his peripherals, Denji can still make out the upturn of your lips. He looks over the rest of the page, desperately searching for any other words he can make out and mold himself to. That, or cope and make up some ways in which he’s at least comparable to your dream man.

He can make out: Pretty.

Do you think Denji is pretty?

He sees another one he recognizes: 歯 -- teeth -- but there’s two characters before that he’s useless against. 

Denji has teeth.

“Sharp,” you whisper into his ear, tingles raising along his pale flesh.

“Huh…?” Denji turns to look at you, heat rising far up to his ears.

An airy, almost delirious, giggle floats into his ears as you circle the two mysteries before teeth, “Sharp,” then you circle teeth, “Teeth. Sharp teeth.”

“You like guys with sharp teeth?”

“Love ‘em.”

Denji swallows harshly, shakily pointing to the next bullet point, “What’s that mean?”

農民を尊重する.

You press ever closer towards Denji, leaning your chin on his shoulder, “‘Respects farmers.’”

“I respect farmers…” he mutters dumbly, “I love their work.”

“I know you do.”

Denji blinks down at you, his thick lashes beating on his rosying cheeks and spiky teeth punching back into his lip. His breaths are short and hard, red overtaking his cheeks like a flustered little Kewpie doll. So precious and sweet, ready to crack beneath your palms. He’d trust you wholly, and you know you’d treat him well. He knows, too. You’re nice.

You laugh at his stunned face, posture rigid. The sudden shock making his shoulder jab up into your jaw uncomfortably -- you find it terribly charming. 

“I like girls…” Denji sighs out in a tremble, eyes trailing down your face, “I like girls with soft lips.”

“Do you?” you inch closer, by now long forgetting the presence of your friends and colleagues in the apartment. Teasing is fun, but teasing Denji is just the best.

“Mhm.”

.

.

.

After an awkward pause, Denji follows the quiet hum with,

“Can I… kiss you?”

You nod against his shoulder, chin digging down into the bone. Denji stretches his neck to kiss you -- and your lips are even softer and more sugary than he imagined. His hands scratch out to cradle you to himself, continuously parched no matter how much of you he has to drink in. Warm hands and arms around you, clinging and wrapping and pulling. Wincing from the prickle of Denji’s teeth against your lip, you cinch a hand around the chest of his shirt and wrench it towards you -- pulling Denji closer along with it. 

“You like me?” he utters against your lips.

Pulling back, you flip around your paper and sear your index nail around a very recognizable word, “My ideal partner. I was a little scared to share at first…”

Denji almost jumps right off the stool, ready to coop you in his arms and swing you around fully in front of his roommates and coworkers. Instead he laughs in full disbelief to himself, reaching down to squeeze your other hand in both of his. You’re briefly concerned he’s cutting off blood flow before the joy of his pure excitement overtakes that concern. 

DENJI is big and plain over the very top of the page. 

“What changed your mind?”

You snicker right into his ear and reach out to flip over Denji’s paper, torn at the top, “I could tell you felt the same, pretty boy.”

Denji squeezes your hand even tighter, giggling almost feverishly before he’s sliding off the stool, “Wanna go make out in my room?”

“Thanks for having the decency to move now,” an unpleasant sneer breaks Denji’s cloudy dream-turned-reality.

“Fuck you,” Denji hisses at Aki.

“I think it’s cute!” Himeno pushes at the back of Aki’s head, “Focus on yourself!”

You let Denji drag you from the kitchen island and towards his (and Power’s, not that she’ll be allowed in for the next however many hours) room. 

“So, you really think ‘m pretty?” Denji’s voice teeters just on the edge of snarky, but his skittish, red frame speaks louder.

“Prettiest,” you coo, kissing his cheek.

The affection has him seconds away from blurting out an awkward, ill-timed: You’re really my dream girl.

[itendtothinkalot]

confession 3.0

Summary: reader has suppressed her feelings for huening for so long, believing that she could manage without confessing. sooo how will she react when she discovers that kai had gone on a blind date.......

Genre: fluffy

Characters: huening kaix f!reader

Words: 6202

a/n: suUuUuper busy at work rn but i managed to write something rly quick today! i didnt rly proofread or edit this so i'm sorry if thrs errors! also stream #ggum!!!

Completed (oneshot)

Kai, It’s hard to find the right words when I’m about to say something that could change everything between us. But here I am, thinking maybe, just MAYBE, you would feel the same way. (Though, I’m on my period, so maybe I’m reading too much into it.) We’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember. You’ve always been my rock, through every high and low. Maybe that’s why it’s taken me so long to see you as more than a friend. But now, I think I’m ready to face the truth. I like you—probably more than a friend should.

It’s been two years since you wrote that letter. You and Kai had just graduated. Maybe it was the adrenaline from graduation, but you wrote it the night he kissed your cheek after you were named valedictorian.

“THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND!” you heard him yell from the seats. You rolled your eyes as you walked up to get your diploma, but you couldn’t ignore the look in his eyes as he mouthed the words, “I’m so proud of you.”

“The letter’s collecting dust,” Beomgyu teased, lying on your bed, reading the letter you wrote for Kai all those years ago.

“You come to my house, rummage through my memory box, and take out this hellish letter?” You glared at Beomgyu, who knew you were getting irritated. “What are you trying to achieve? If you want me to cry, just call me dumb. I’m on my period anyway.”

“TMI, but I’ll let it slide since I am a huge female supporter.” He chuckled, “But here’s a thought! Give him the letter.”

You snatched the letter from him. “And why would I do that?"

"Why not? It's cute!"

"Cute?"

"Yeah!"

"In what way?" You asked.

"It has like words. And stuff." Beomgyu paused. “Besides, you two belong together! Plus, I need some drama in my life. Ever since Soobin and Yeonjun went to study overseas, things have been so boring.”

"Are you insinuating that Kai, Taehyun, and I are boring?" you asked, deadpan.

"I'm not insinuating. I'm literally telling you that," Beomgyu chuckled, draping his arms over your shoulders like he hadn’t just insulted you.

"You’re an idiot," you scoffed, shaking your head. "Besides, I’m perfectly fine with how things are."

"Oh, you mean staring at him lovingly while he’s eating?" Beomgyu teased, widening his eyes and pouting dramatically, doing his best imitation of you watching Kai.

“I could kill you.”

“But you won’t.”

You stuck your tongue out at him, knowing he was right. It was cruel—the way you felt about Kai. Almost comically so. Falling in love with your best friend felt like a cosmic joke.

“Do you think he likes me back?” You sighed.

“How would I know?” Beomgyu rolled his eyes.

“Well, for starters, you three have guy’s nights.”

“We talk about games. Football. You know, guy stuff. Do we look like the kind of people who talk about feelings?”

“Kinda. Yeah.” 

—

The living room was filled with high pitched screaming (mostly from Beomgyu) as the four of you—Beomgyu, Taehyun, Kai, and you—were completely absorbed in a random game Kai had discovered in a video he had seen somewhere.

Taehyun, with a mischievous grin, leaned back on the couch. “Hey, did you guys hear the news?” 

“What news?” Beomgyu asked, his eyes still locked onto the TV.

“Kai has a girlfriend~” Taehyun sang, before getting elbowed in his stomach.

“Dude!” Kai said, his eyes shifted to you and then to Beomgyu. “It was just a blind date my sister set me up on. It was stupid.” 

Your fingers froze. You glanced over at Taehyun, still grinning as he played, and felt a sudden surge of jealousy. Your hands fumbled with the controller, struggling to keep your composure as your heart raced. You shot a quick look at Kai, whose focus wavered as his eyes were still locked onto your every movement as if waiting for a reaction.

"Why would you bring that up when we’re about to beat the last level?” Kai sighed, his brows furrowing in mild annoyance as his hands tightened around the controller.

Taehyun smirked, leaning back lazily against the couch. “Would you have preferred I brought it up on the first level?” he teased, eyes gleaming with mischief.

Kai rolled his eyes, exhaling in frustration. “It wasn’t a big deal,” he muttered, his voice casual, but there was a slight tension in his posture as if he wanted to brush the subject away quickly.

“So it did happen?” Beomgyu exclaimed, freezing his character mid-air on the screen.

“A couple of days ago,” Taehyun said casually, his attention still on the game. “I was surprised too. He didn’t mention anything about it, I only happened to walk past his little date at the cafe I frequent.”

Kai shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “Yeah, it was just a setup my sister arranged. It was... fine.”

You felt a pang of jealousy and frustration, struggling to ignore the growing lump in your throat. You shifted in your seat, trying to refocus on the game, but your movements became increasingly erratic.

Your fingers pressed random buttons, desperately trying to regain control, but it only made things worse. The game character on the screen flailed aimlessly.

“Stop dying! You’re pulling us down!” Taehyun yelled, clearly exasperated with your lack of focus.

The criticism hit a nerve, and you snapped, unable to keep your frustration in check. “Oh, sure, blame it on me, Taehyun! Maybe if you hadn’t brought up Kai’s stupid blind date, I wouldn’t be so distracted!”

Taehyun looked taken aback, his eyes widening in surprise. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s just... annoying!” you shot back, your voice sharp. “I’m trying to focus, and all I can think about is how—”

You suddenly noticed the three boys staring at you with wide eyes.

Realizing you’d let your frustration get the better of you, you quickly backpedaled. “I mean—sorry. I was just distracted,” you said, your voice trailing off awkwardly as you tried to recover from the outburst.

Beomgyu, ever observant, immediately noticed the shift in your demeanor. He shot you a sideways glance.

“Hey,” he said quietly, leaning in a bit closer so only you could hear, “I know you’re upset. Just take a deep breath.”

You met his gaze and saw the empathy in his eyes. 

“Thanks,” you murmured.

Meanwhile, Taehyun was still chatting away about the date, completely oblivious to the tension. “So, how did it go, Kai? Did you have a good time?”

Kai shrugged again, looking a bit uncomfortable. “It was okay. We talked, had dinner. Nothing special.”

You clenched your jaw, trying to mask the jealousy. You had no right to be upset, but the idea of Kai with someone else was expectedly hard to handle.

Like you said, curse.

—

It had been a couple of weeks since you last hung out with Kai, and you'd been avoiding him, using work as an excuse. You hoped everyone bought it, though Beomgyu didn’t seem convinced. But you didn’t care. You had already turned down Friday night dinners twice in a row, and there was no way you could get away with skipping a third time. So here you were, back at their place, feeling a knot of nerves twist in your stomach.

You wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but you were terrified it’d be awkward with Kai. Ever since you found out about his blind date, your feelings had been gnawing at you relentlessly, making every thought of him more painful. You feared how being around him might make those emotions harder to suppress especially since you almost gave yourself away the previous time.

But when you arrived at his house, all your worries evaporated the moment Kai pulled you into a tight bearhug. "I missed you so much!" he exclaimed, his voice warm and genuine. You found yourself melting into the embrace, forgetting every ounce of awkwardness and jealousy. For a brief moment, all that mattered was the familiar comfort of his arms around you, and everything else faded away.

You loved being in his arms. Kai felt like a giant teddy bear, soft and comforting in a way that made you feel safe. You had thought about it many times before—if comfort could take the form of a person, it would be him. His hugs were the kind that melted away stress, and being close to him felt like home. No matter how anxious or upset you were, being in his arms always made you forget, even if just for a little while.

“I missed you too," you fumbled out, your voice softer than intended.

"God! It's been two weeks, but it feels like a year!" he laughed, pulling you over to the sofa. His excitement and warmth made you feel like you’d never been away. 

"I knew you were busy the last couple of weeks," he said, reaching for his phone and opening the notes app. "So I made a list." He grinned, scrolling through it. "Here are just some things you missed during our dinners."

"You wrote them down on your notes app?" you giggled, genuinely amused by the thought of him keeping track of everything just for you.

"Of course," he replied with a playful glint in his eyes. "I can’t leave you out."

You don’t think he realizes just how sweet he is—or how incredibly frustrating it is that he's constantly this sweet. You're pretty sure he has no idea how much you want to scream every time he makes you feel this way. It was maddening, really, how effortlessly he could make your heart race with just a few words or a simple smile.

It had been about an hour since Kai filled you in on the events of the past two weeks. From what you gathered, Beomgyu sharted in his pants when he had diarrhoea from eating at a place down the street and Taehyun got drunk and wasted $500 sending TikTok gifts to Yeonjun during a live dance stream.

It seemed plausible enough. You missed them. Two weeks had passed, but it was more than enough time for you to fully feel their absence. Sure, they checked in on you every day, flooding the group chat, but you didn't respond—afraid you'd accidentally reveal your feelings for Kai. You weren’t about to make that mistake.

Still, you were starting to realize that avoiding them felt incredibly immature. You had forgotten just how much you loved your friends—and how much they loved you. Every part of you wished they wouldn’t change, not even a little. You wanted them to stay exactly as they were, unchanged and constant.

It was possibly why you were so adamant about keeping your feelings for Kai to yourself. The thought of confessing felt risky, one wrong move and the most precious friendship you’ve ever had could shatter. You couldn’t bear to be the one who ruined that.

Still…you wondered, how long you could take before you finally cracked.

“Do you think… we’ll still be friends when we’re older?” you asked, your voice soft and a bit uncertain.

Kai tilted his head, considering the question. “Like Yeonjun old or like my dad old?”

You laughed, trying to clarify, “Like, y’know, further into our adulthood.”

“Like when we have kids?” he asked, his tone casual but with a hint of curiosity.

“We?” Your heart skipped a beat, suddenly racing. The idea of him envisioning a future with you was both exhilarating and terrifying.

“Yeah?” He paused, looking at you with a thoughtful expression. “Like when you have your own family and I have mine.”

You nodded either way.

Kai looked at you with a genuine, reassuring smile. “Why wouldn’t we be?” he asked, his eyes warm and sincere. “We’ve been through so much together. Why wouldn’t we stay friends?”

Sure, you took some sort of comfort from his reassurance but there was a part of you still grappling with the realization that your feelings might never align with his. 

You took a deep breath, forcing a smile as you met his gaze. “Mhm.”

Kai’s smile widened, and he playfully nudged you with his elbow. “C’mon. We’ll still be annoying each other, like always.”

You laughed softly, “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

"We won't change."

As you looked over at him, your eyes began to well up with tears. You looked away, pretending that you weren’t actually about to sob. 

Kai’s gaze softened when he noticed the glistening in your eyes. He placed his hands gently on your thigh, as if sensing that something was troubling you, though he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was.

“I promise,” he said softly.

“Right…sorry..I’m just–”

“It’s fine. I get it.” He nodded, cutting you off. “You don’t have to explain.”

You often wondered how someone who knew you so well didn’t have any idea that you liked him. The thought was both comforting and frustrating. 

“Anyway, there’s still like 3 more things on my list.” Kai said, showing you his notes app.

You nodded, “All ears!” 

Despite enjoying Kai’s animated recounting of the ridiculous things Beomgyu had done the week before, your mind was a tangled mess of thoughts about his recent blind date.

You tried to focus on the present, nodding and laughing along, but the image of him with someone else kept intruding.

You hesitated, your fingers nervously tracing patterns on the armrest of the sofa. You took a deep breath as you waited for Kai to finally finish his last story. 

“Hey, Kai, can I ask you something?” you finally managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. Your heart pounded in your chest as you waited for his response.

“Sure, what’s up?” he replied, still looking relaxed and upbeat.

“So, about that blind date your sister set you up on…” you began, your tone more serious now. “How did it–um– go?”

Kai’s expression shifted slightly, and he leaned back, thinking for a moment. “Oh, that. It was... okay. We had dinner and talked a bit. It was nice, but nothing special.”

You tried to mask your disappointment, nodding slowly. “I see.”

Kai looked at you with a hint of curiosity. “Why? What’s up?”

You shrugged, forcing a casual tone. “Oh! Nothing. I was just–uh–curious!”

“Well, to be honest,” he started, “the date was actually kind of fun. She was really nice and pretty. We had a good time talking and hanging out. She’s been asking me out on another date, but I’m not sure if I should go.”

You felt a wave of jealousy bubbling inside you, but you tried to keep your voice steady. “That’s nice!” you said, forcing a smile. “You should go.”

As soon as the words left your mouth, you winced inwardly, realizing the absurdity of what you’d just said. Here you were, encouraging the guy you had feelings for to go out on another date.

You looked down at your hands, trying to hide the flush of embarrassment creeping up your cheeks. “I mean… it’s your choice. Do what you think is right,” you stammered, trying to backtrack.

You tried to shake off the discomfort, but the conversation with Kai had left you feeling unsettled. As your phone rang, you seized the opportunity to shift focus.

“Hey, Beomgyu. What’s up?” you answered, trying to sound casual.

“Hey!” Beomgyu’s voice came through the speaker. “Just wanted to let you know we’ve got a busted tire. We’re going to be home 2-3 hours later than usual.”

“Shit, you guys okay?” 

“Yeah, we’re fine,” Beomgyu replied, chuckling. “Taehyun’s totally losing it with his insurance company. It’s kinda hilarious. I’ll send you a video in the group chat.”

You heard Beomgyu laughing, and then Taehyun’s distant shouting.

“Fuck. He’s coming over to yell at me to delete it,” Beomgyu added quickly.

“Yeah, okay,” you said, trying to ignore the awkwardness from earlier. “I’ll see you guys later.”

You hung up and looked over at Kai, who was watching you with a curious expression.

“Well,” you said, attempting to lighten the mood, “looks like it’s just us for dinner tonight.”

Kai grinned, clearly unfazed by the earlier conversation. “Perfect. More time for us to catch up.”

Whatever he had just said did nothing to quell the storm of emotions swirling inside you. You couldn’t help but think, Curse you, Huening Kai, you perfect son of a bitch, as you watched him move about the kitchen, completely unaware of the effect he had on you. 

—

“Can you pass me the salt?” “Hey…” “Dude!”

You suddenly felt a flick on your forehead and snapped out of your thoughts, turning to Kai, who had been trying to get your attention for a while.

“Oh! Yep. You should!” you blurted out. “You should totally try a new hairstyle.”

Kai laughed, the sound warm and reassuring. “We’ve moved on from that topic.” His expression softened as he leaned in, gently placing his hand on your forehead. “You alright? Are you feeling sick?”

His hand was surprisingly warm against your skin, and if his touch lingered even a moment longer, you were certain your cheeks would be hotter than the soup you were drinking. You nodded quickly, trying to brush off the heat rising to your face.

“Are you sure? It feels like you’re getting warmer,” Kai said, his voice tinged with concern.

Embarrassed, you pushed his hand away, the warmth of his touch still lingering. “It’s probably just the summer heat.”

“You sure?” he asked, still looking worried.

You nodded again, trying to sound more convincing. “Yep.”

“Hold on, you have a little…” He leaned in and gently used his thumb to wipe a small crumb from your lip.

The unexpected touch of his thumb against your lip sent a jolt through you. Startled by the sudden closeness and the tender gesture, you fumbled with the bowl of soup. In your flustered state, your hand slipped, and the bowl tipped over. 

You abruptly stood up, wincing as a sharp, stinging pain shot through your foot. “Fuck,” you cursed under your breath, your voice tinged with frustration.

Kai’s face immediately filled with concern. He hurriedly rushed over to your side of the table, reaching for the spilled food and trying to help you clean up. “Are you okay?” he asked, his tone anxious.

“I’m good!” you said quickly, trying to push his hands away. You didn’t want him to see how flustered and embarrassed you were. His touch was warm, but right now, you just wanted to avoid any more attention.

You noticed a flicker of hurt in his eyes before you shook your head, trying to reassure him. “I didn’t mean to—I just—I should go get this cleaned up.” You quickly made your way to the bathroom, your heart pounding as you tried to escape the situation.

You heard Kai’s footsteps follow closely behind you. As you entered the bathroom, he called out, “The first aid’s under the sink.” There was a sigh in his voice, a mixture of frustration and concern. “You sure you’re okay?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you through the closed door. “Yep,” you called back, trying to sound more confident than you felt.

Silence continued between the two of you as you carefully bandaged your scalded thigh. The faint rustling of Kai’s movements outside the door made it clear he was still there, waiting.

Then, you heard him whisper, almost too softly to catch, “There’s something wrong between us.”

You stayed silent, not trusting yourself to respond.

A moment later, his voice grew a bit louder as he repeated, “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yep.” You replied.

“You sure we’re okay?” Kai’s voice softened.

You didn’t answer, letting the silence stretch between you. Each second felt like an eternity, your mind racing as you tried to gather your thoughts. You could hear the faint rustling of Kai’s movements outside the door.

Finally, you took a deep breath and emerged from the bathroom, the bandage awkwardly wrapped around your leg. Kai stood there, looking at you with a mixture of worry and something else you couldn’t quite place.

“Sorry about that,” you said, forcing a smile. “It’s just a minor burn. Nothing to worry about.”

Kai’s eyes softened, though he still looked concerned. “It’s not just about the burn, is it?” He stepped closer, his gaze searching yours. “Something’s been off for a while now. I can’t help but feel like you’re distancing yourself from me.”

You felt a lump form in your throat, the vulnerability of the moment making it hard to speak. “It’s complicated,” you finally admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. “I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotions lately, and I didn’t want to drag you into it.”

Kai’s expression shifted from concern to understanding, and he reached out, gently touching your arm. “You don’t have to go through things alone. If something’s wrong, I want to be here for you. I care about you too much to let things stay this way.”

His words struck a chord, and you felt your resolve begin to crumble. The warmth of his hand on your arm, combined with the sincerity in his eyes, made it hard to hold back your feelings.

“I—” you started, but the words caught in your throat. You looked down, struggling to find the right way to express what you were feeling. “I just… I didn’t want to make things awkward or complicated.”

Kai shook his head slightly, his gaze never leaving yours. "Please,” he whispered. “Just let me share the pain you're going through."

You met his eyes, finally allowing yourself to be vulnerable. “I… I care about you a lot, Kai. More than I thought I could.”

Kai’s expression softened further, and he took a step closer. “I care about you too.”

He didn’t get it. He didn’t understand the implication of what you were trying to say—that you liked him. That you cared about him differently from how you cared about Beomgyu and Taehyun.

You forced a smile. “Thank you. Let’s get back out there.” You nudged his shoulder.

He shook his head. “No.” He gently pulled you back, stopping you in your tracks.

“Kai…”

“No,” he repeated, his grip firm but gentle, careful not to hurt you. He guided you to the wall and leaned you against it softly. “I don’t want to leave it like this. I don’t know what this is, but I don’t feel like we’re okay.”

“We are.”

“You’re lying,” he sighed.

“I’m not—”

“Your eyes,” Kai said softly, “they tell me everything I need to know.”

“Are they telling you anything else?” you asked, your frustration clearly showing. “Since you know me so well, can you read anything else in my eyes?”

“Why are you getting mad at me?” Kai asked, his voice getting slightly louder, confusion and hurt in his voice.

“Because!” you snapped, your voice rising with anger. “Because!”

“Because what?!” Kai shouted back, his own frustration surfacing. “It’s like you don’t even want me around anymore!”

“And who said that? Stop assuming everything about me!” you yelled, your voice trembling with emotion. “Stop acting like you know everything about me!”

“Don’t I?!” he exclaimed, frustration evident in his tone.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “You’re always going on about how much you know me, but do you really? You can’t even—” You paused, the words caught in your throat.

“Can’t even what? Notice that you’re avoiding me?” Kai’s voice was tinged with hurt and confusion.

The room was charged with tension. Your heart raced as you faced each other, your eyes locked with his despite your desperate urge to look away. His voice dripped with anger, and his eyes shimmered with a deep, wounded hurt. 

“Have you or have you not been avoiding me?” Kai asked, his voice dropping to a deeper, more serious tone.

“I wasn’t igno—”

“You’re lying.”

“I wasn’t intentionally ignoring you,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper, filled with apprehension.

Kai’s shoulders slumped in defeat, his voice cracking with vulnerability. “W-why? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something wrong? Listen, whatever I did, I’m sorry—”

"You didn’t do anything." You sighed, burying your face in your hands.

"Then... why have you been avoiding me?" Kai gently pulled your hands away from your face, lifting your chin so you’d meet his gaze. His eyes searched yours.

“I–”

"You don’t think I’ve noticed? How you've barely been texting me, or the group? We used to talk every day. And now, for the past two weeks, it’s just been me... constantly asking about you. And the only person who seems to know anything is Beomgyu. Not even me." His voice cracked with frustration. "It used to be us. Just the two of us against everything. But now—"

“I—I’ve been going through some things on my own. You don’t have to know everything about me, Kai,” you said, your tone sharper than intended.

It almost felt ironic, and just as infuriating, that he stood there acting as if he truly understood you, when he didn’t even realize the most important thing—your feelings. 

“We’re supposed to be best friends. What happened to being friends till we grow old?” Kai’s voice cracked, as if the weight of the words would somehow pull you back to him.

“Some of us don’t want that,” you snapped, your self-restraint finally shattering. The words left your lips before you could stop them, sharp and unforgiving.

Kai froze, staring at you in disbelief. The hurt in his eyes was unmistakable. Slowly, the grip he still had on your arm loosened, his hands falling to his sides, as though the very act of holding on had become too heavy.

“Kai—” you sighed, realizing your words had gone too far.

“No. I’m—I—” he cut you off, sighing heavily as he pushed his hair back. “I’m an idiot.”

“Kai—” you tried again, your voice softer, unsure of how to fix what had just happened.

He stayed silent, inching away from you slowly. Then, without a word, he knelt down to look at your injured leg. “Feel better,” he murmured, gently tracing the edge of the hasty bandage wrapped around your thigh.

He stood up to walk away, the silence between you growing heavier with each step. But just as he turned, your frustration finally boiled over, pushing you past the breaking point. You couldn't hold it in any longer.

With a voice raw and desperate, you shouted, “I LIKE YOU!” Your eyes were wide and your chest heaved with the effort of the outburst. The words seemed to crackle in the air, and your hands clenched into fists at your sides, trembling slightly as the intensity of your emotions took hold.

Kai froze in his tracks, his back still turned to you. The air between you crackled with the weight of your confession, the echo of your words hanging in the silence. You stood there, heart racing, unable to believe you had actually said it.

Slowly, Kai turned to face you, his eyes wide with shock and something else you couldn’t quite place—hope, maybe? Confusion? Possibly.

You swallowed hard, “I—I didn’t mean to shout,” you stammered. “But I’ve been holding it in for so long, and I just… I didn’t know how else to say it.”

Kai’s expression softened, his brows furrowing as he processed your words. “You like me?” he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he wasn’t sure he heard you right.

You nodded, “I just thought if I kept my distance, maybe it would go away… but it didn’t.”

He took a tentative step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I was scared,” you admitted, your voice trembling as you spoke. Your hands fidgeted, fingers twisting nervously. “Scared that it would ruin everything between us. Scared you wouldn’t feel the same. And the blind date that Taehy—”

“It wasn’t even that serious to begin with, my sisters were just sick of hearing me complain about–well about you.” he interrupted, his tone gentle but firm. He took a step closer, his expression softening as he reached out, his hand almost brushing yours.

“Me?” 

Kai let out a breath, his shoulders relaxing as the tension between you began to fade. “I never knew,” he said softly, taking another step closer. “But… you didn’t have to be scared. I—”

He hesitated, his voice catching in his throat, before finally meeting your gaze. “I like you too.”

“Oh.” 

“Yeah. Oh,” Kai mumbled, awkwardly scratching the back of his head, clearly unsure of what to do next.

You laughed, the tension breaking slightly. “No one ever tells you what to do after… a confession.”

Kai chuckled softly. “I figured Beomgyu might know what to do. He’s been egging me on to tell you how I feel.”

“He has?” you asked, surprised.

Kai nodded, and a brief silence settled between the two of you, heavy but not uncomfortable. Finally, he spoke again. “I’m sorry.”

“What? Why?” you asked, confused.

“I should’ve told you sooner, when I had the chance. I didn’t realize that keeping it in would hurt you, and that was never my intention.” His voice softened, regret evident in every word.

“That makes the two of us,” you giggled shyly. “Well, I wasn’t exactly broadcasting my single status and going on blind dates, but still—” you teased playfully.

“For the record,” Kai said, scratching the back of his head with a sheepish grin, “my sisters were only sick of me complaining about how much I like you and how much of a coward I am for not telling you.”

“Oh. What exactly have you been complaining about?” You teased.

Kai’s cheeks pinked, “N-nothing. Nothing important.”

“Really? You do know I have Hiyyih’s Insta. I could probably just ask her myself,” you said with a mischievous grin.

“You wouldn’t.”

You nodded, a playful glint in your eye. “I absolutely would. So it’s either you give me a summarized version and keep the details to yourself, or I get the 100% detailed account from Hiyyih.”

“It’s not even—I just… you have to promise me you won’t laugh. Or make fun of me.”

“Promise.” You said, pretending to zip your lips with a playful wink. 

Your eyes were filled with genuine adoration for the man standing before you. His vulnerability was written all over his face, and it only made your heart swell. Your gaze softened, allowing the affection you'd kept hidden for so long to shine through. After years of bottling up your feelings, you could finally show them, even if only a little.

“Well, uh… this is so embarrassing,” he mumbled quietly to himself, taking a deep breath to steady himself. “I’d tell them how… uh… pretty you looked every time we went out together,” he said slowly.

“Uh-huh…” You nodded, encouraging him to continue.

“And I’d tell them how you didn’t deserve the guys you were dating. How they were all assholes,” he went on, his voice growing louder and more passionate as he gained confidence with each word.

“And I’d tell them how much you deserve someone who genuinely loves you, someone who knows how funny you are, how quiet you get when you’re overanalyzing something, how loud you become when you're passionate, and how loving and protective you are to the people who matter to you.” He gulped, his voice shaking with emotion.

“How… much I deserved you,” he finished, his gaze searching yours.

You stood there, feeling a rush of warmth flood your cheeks. Your mind raced, but no words came. All you could manage was a soft, hesitant “Umm…”

Kai’s gaze was fixed on you, a mixture of hope and apprehension in his eyes. Seeing your struggle to find the right words, he took a deep breath and gently took your hands in his. 

You hated to admit it, but Kai seemed to be winning the confession game you had inadvertently started.

As his words settled, you found yourself slowly leaning in, your heart racing with a mix of excitement and nervous anticipation. Kai’s eyes fluttered shut, and he met you halfway. His lips gently brushed against yours, the kiss starting soft and tentative.

Your hands gripped his, pulling him closer as the kiss deepened. You felt Kai’s arms wrap around your waist, guiding you gently against the wall.

“God, I like you so much,” he whispered into the kiss.

Just as you were losing yourself in the moment, the abrupt sound of the door slamming open ruined the moment the two of you had.

“WE’RE HOME!” 

Taehyun and Beomgyu burst into the room, their eyes widening in disbelief as they took in the sight of you and Kai locked in a kiss.

“What the—” Taehyun’s voice came out as a high-pitched yelp, his hand flying to his mouth in shock.

The room was filled with a jumble of screams—your and Kai’s shocked cries mixing with Taehyun’s and Beomgyu’s high-pitched shouts. The noise was deafening, with each of you trying to out-scream the other. 

“YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HOME!” you yelled.

“THE GUYS AT THE TOWING COMPANY SENT US HOME BECAUSE THEY LIKED ME! WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!” Taehyun shouted back.

“DO YOU EVER KNOCK?!” Kai yelled at the two of them.

“THIS IS A SHARED APARTMENT, YOU IDIOT!” Beomgyu countered.

“Enough about us! What the heck are you two doing? Spit-swapping in front of us like that?” Taehyun yelled.

You and Kai stood there, red-faced and speechless, your hands still intertwined but your mouths firmly shut. The embarrassment was palpable as you both tried to avoid eye contact, your cheeks burning with the sudden realization of being caught.

“We—uh…”

“We—”

The two of you glanced at each other, then back at Taehyun and Beomgyu.

“We…”

“Spit it out!” Beomgyu rolled his eyes, clearly impatient.

“We like each other?” Kai managed to fumble out, his voice trembling slightly.

At that moment, the room erupted into a new kind of chaos. Taehyun and Beomgyu, now visibly relieved and overjoyed, screamed with happiness.

“FINALLY!” Taehyun shouted, his voice a mix of triumph and excitement. “I KNEW IT!”

“Oh my god!” Beomgyu exclaimed, clapping his hands together in delight. “We can finally sleep in peace!”

“No more emo Huening Kai nights!”

“No more sad songs!”

Beomgyu and Taehyun grabbed each other’s hands, jumping in circles and celebrating for reasons you couldn’t quite grasp.

“Emo Huening Kai nights?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Every time you went out on a date with someone, Kai would come home with this sad look on his face,” Taehyun explained. “He wouldn’t want to play any games or do anything fun.”

“He’d just pout, act like a baby, order Chinese takeout, and then moan about how the guy you were dating didn’t deserve you,” Beomgyu continued, trying to hold back his laughter.

You looked at Kai, who was now blushing deeply and rolling his eyes in mock annoyance. “Well, that explains a lot,” you said, chuckling.

“When you both explain it like that, it makes me sound pathetic,” Kai said, shaking his head.

“But it was pathetic?” Beomgyu asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I think it’s cute,” you said with a smile.

“Gross,” Beomgyu said, scrunching up his face in mock disgust. “Wait, does this mean we’ll have to see this more often? GROSS!”

“I can’t believe Huening found a girl before us,” Taehyun sighed, shaking his head in disbelief.

“It’s possible that the two of you lack a certain charisma,” Kai replied with a teasing grin.

“Oh, and you have it?” Taehyun laughed, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, I do have the world’s greatest girlfriend,” Kai said, glancing at you with a proud smile.

“Girlfriend?” You teased, your eyes twinkling with mischief. “Who said anything about me being your girlfriend?”

Kai’s face turned a shade redder as he stammered, “Well, I—I just thought—”

“Thought what?” you interrupted, a playful smirk on your lips. “That I’d be your girlfriend even if you didn’t ask? I’m not that easy.”

“I’m sorry,” Beomgyu interjected, “You’re a little confident right now. Aren’t you the same girl who messaged me about how Kai looked like he had the most pillowy, kissable lips you’d ever seen?”

Your cheeks heated up. “CHOI BEOMGYU!”

“Oh, and also that cute little private TikTok you did after you cried over Kai…? Really cute,” Beomgyu continued, his grin widening.

In a desperate bid to stop him from revealing more, you clenched your fists and lunged at Beomgyu. You jumped onto his back and covered his mouth with your hands, muffling his voice before he could spill any more secrets. 

Taehyun and Kai erupted into giggles, but Kai's laughter suddenly faltered as he realized, “Wait… what TikTok?”

“She did a TikTok where—” Beomgyu started, but you quickly shoved your hands over his mouth, pressing down firmly to silence him.

Unfortunately, Beomgyu was way stronger than you. With one swift move, he had you slung over his shoulder, your legs flailing as you tried to wriggle free.

“Fine. I won’t tell. Yet,” Beomgyu said with a mischievous grin.

[live-laugh-legolas]

hi!! if you're still taking requests I'd love to requests headcanons of the fellowship with a reader with adhd?

(if you need pointers of specific traits to include plz feel free to message me!)

thanks so much!! love your stuff :)

I tried to include spectrum of traits and just general experiences with adhd, but I definitely do steer towards my own experiences a bit. I actually found this one a little difficult so I don’t consider it my best, so I apologize.

The fellowship (+Faramir) x adhd!reader

Aragorn:

-Gives lots of gentle reminders and subtle pushes

-He is very good about showing you while explaining something so it’s easier to understand

-Because sometimes just being told goes in one ear and out the other or just doesn’t even make its way into your brain

-He will listen to you ramble on about a hyper-fixation with no complaint

-Seriously he will always listen and never tone you out to be “background noise” (damn I need an Aragorn in my life lol)

Legolas:

-I don’t think he knows much about it but he learns fast and is very perceptive

-If you are very hyperactive and talk a lot he is super patient; and probably a little entertained

-I think that elves could be prone to sensory overload sometimes if they are really stressed, so he knows how to help if you experience this

-Will take you somewhere quiet and will give you something to hold to fidget with

Gimli:

-He may think your leg bouncing or fidgeting is done because you are stressed; which maybe you are; so he will try and calm you down either way

-Honestly I think he might not really do anything different, like he just is like “welp that’s y/n”

-But not in a dismissive way you know?

-If you drum your fingers a lot he will join in and create a little song

-He also isn’t bothered if you just talk to fill silence, even if you are just kind of narrating the obvious (I do this and am always told it’s because I must like the sound of my own voice, but he would never think this)

-He may be a little concerned if you just zone out randomly

-Will wave his hand in front of your face like “dude, you alright?”

Boromir:

-I think he may not be the most helpful in terms of organization

-But he likes to help you get some energy out so you feel less jittery

-He also isn’t bothered if you interrupt him, because honestly he does the same thing

-He understands that you don’t mean it to be rude, it’s just sometimes your mouth works before your brain can stop you

Frodo:

-He is so patient

-Feels bad when you are stressed and will help you with out standing tasks like cleaning so you can focus on whatever it is you need to

-He’s also really good at explaining things in a way that is easily digestible

-Like either very simplified or using comparisons to things you enjoy or are currently hyper-fixated on

Sam:

-Very productive himself so he probably doesn’t initially notice if you aren’t

-However he will notice if you are forgetful about self care

-Did you forget to eat? Sam has a biscuit ready for you and he will make you eat it

-He will also help you make and keep a schedule if that is something you struggle with

Merry:

-I think Pippin could have adhd so Merry has a good understanding about it

-He will make simple tasks into games to keep your focus

-This also helps to make tasks feel less daunting

-He will also be completely honest with you if something is becoming a problem

-“you can’t forget to turn off the stove because you remembered you needed to send a letter”

Pippin:

-I wouldn’t be surprised if he also had adhd

-I imagine he will start a bunch of tasks but never finish any of them

-You two can be dysfunctional together

-So either nothing gets done when you two are together, or you both hyper focus and will clean the entire house in a few hours

Gandalf:

-He is really good at telling when you are overwhelmed

-Like if a task feels too daunting or you get choice paralysis

-He will break things down to simplify whatever it is you are struggling with, and will aid you in getting started (because let’s be honest, just starting is the hardest part)

-He will never let you get down on yourself for things you can’t control; “you are not lazy, you are overwhelmed”

Faramir:

-This sweet man would be super supportive and helpful

-He may feel a little overbearing sometimes but it’s just because he is worried and doesn’t want you to feel dejected or insecure

-If you ever feel overwhelmed he is right there

-He also is super smart and patient so he doesn’t mind if he needs to re-explain something or if he has to repeat that same thing multiple times over time

-Won’t judge you if you forget something and need to ask again (I always ask what words mean even if I have been told a million times and have googled it)

[barkspawn]

Can you rank bachelors, from best to worst as husbands? Lol

Ah fuck I've been thinking about this.

Y'all already know how part of this will go:

Sebastian is my first choice always. Idk. I have many reasons but idek if you wanted those so have a frog 🐸

Elliott. I've never actually married him in game but like I said, I've been thinking a lot about it. I would say next time but see above. (I'll keep loving him in fics)

Actual human puppy Sam. He's just.. What you need in a relationship. Friends above all else but will still try to impress you until you die.

Harvey. He's a sweetheart and awkward, so making him blush would be dope. Also let's not pretend he's not just a wee bit crazy in bed. Maybe my brain made some shit up, but he's shy outside and all of that stress has to go somewhere.

Shane. I know, I know. Why is he so low when you love him, Tori? Don't be silly. But that's the thing. You go through all of this for him to go right back to where he was. What happens to Jas? There's so much here and I adore writing Shane, but I hate that the hot bastard can't be fixed. (10/10 ten heart event tho. Esp if you got that one mod.)

Alex. Sigh. I want to like him so badly. Truly I do. But he's just... Meh. High school star that has tragic backstory and ends up with the pretty girl. (either way, every farmer is stunning). I feel bad about his mom and the letter hurts my soul, but dude your deep-set sexism gets me a bit. Also you never kiss him? Idk. Y'all know I'm a sucker for a kiss.

Das it. I honestly love writing them all but ask and you shall receive.

[vickozone]

The Magnus Archives

-S4 Notes-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SOMETHING ABOUT FANART GOES HERE I THINK

<- previous notes

next notes ->

Handwriting translated below:

#121 Oliver. He’s dead and JON! YOU’RE OKAY!

#122 zombies and Jon’s first instinct from waking up from a 6 month coma is to read a statement. Icon.

#123 He just got back and Melanie wants to kill him and something is up with Martin. Also, The Web, I suppose. Coding?

#124 More Simon. What a guy. Also, Jon is… very concerned for Martin…

#125 The Slaughter is back and Melanie! CALM DOWN! MY HEADPHONES ARE ON LIFE SUPPORT AS IT IS!

#126 The Spiral clarity + Martin is being manipulated (SHE STABBED HIM!?)

#127 Another letter to Jonah. AND ELIAS IS JUST CHILLIN IN PRISON. GO OFF, KING!

#128 Breekon is nothing without Hope. The institute and ooo! Jon eye powers!

#129 Guy drowned in grandpa’s house and JON NEEDS AN ANCHOR! Also, very homosexual interaction.

#130 Meat ritual and JON! NO, SELF HARM IS BAD! YOU BETTER NOT DO WHAT I THINK YOU’RE IMPLYING!

#131 AAAA! AAAA! OH. OH NO. Jared is the Boneturner and Helen is an absolute queen <3

#132 Jon saves Daisy!! Yay! She is also The Hunt, but, whatever. The tapes drew him back…

#133 The Hunt ritual, and Basira… has feelingsss. The Hunt is about the chase, not the kill.

#134 The Extinction!? NO. Also Lukas is the worst. Hate that guy.

#135 “Have I ever told you how much I hate the sun?” -Manuela Lol, The Dark, The Vast, and The Lonely funded the space expedition.

#136 Annabelle! Creepy celeb puppet. And Daisy telling Jon he’s not responsible for everything gives hope. Yes! Therapy!

#137 The Slaughter ritual & Gertrude was fond of Gerry :( The Watcher’s Crown??

#138 “And then the sky blinked.” Elias is literally the ‘no need to thank me’ meme and Jonah and Smirke knew about the 14 fears and then he dies or smthn

#139 The life and crimes of Agnes. Jon MAYBE saw Peter’s plan and- PRAISE THE LORD, JON LIKES MARTIN!!

#140 Stupid Maxwell. Also, Santa is working working with the Devine Host (/j) & we’re going on a trip! :D

#141 Salesa statement from boat guy. Oh, Jon, I see why Martin has a crush on you now. 10/10 voice acting on everyone’s part.

#142 JEEZ, JON! You gave this poor woman literal trauma! Goodness…

#143 oh, it’s Manuela! Jon looked AT the darkness and HELEN IS A SAVIOR!

#144 MARTIN! We do NOT talk to people like that! Especially Daisy! This isn’t you! The Extinction is real, I guess, but, come on! Not cool.

#145 Gertrude is COLD. Dude’s head is somewhere in the institute- uh-

#146 5 people? Goodness, Jon. He can’t control it though, can he? Helen got Marcus and Basira is off to meet with Annabelle friggin Cane.

#147 Okay. No, he can control it. I love Anna. I also got Nikola flashbacks. Oh boy.

#148 Not 5 seconds in and Elias gets assaulted. Jon is worried for Martin and he read a statement about The Eye. A.

#149 Concrete Jungle. Oh and Martin is using Lonely powers. Greaaat.

#150 Homophobic endless houses and Melanie really said “nuh uh” to her job

#151 Simon is my new husband. Uhhh. He answered Martin’s questions, yada yada, he has Lonely powers

#152 More of The Buried. Jon and Helen chat more about avatar crap.

#153 Another odd desolation flesh cult, also Trevor and chic is here and he is HUNGRY

#154 Gerry’s dead dad gives a statement. J + M both F bomb, very gay, eye gouging is the only way out. (“It’s pretty drastic.” “What you gotta gouge your eyes out or something?” “…” “…” “…” “Fuck off.” <- funniest conversation in the whole series)

#155 Guy kills others to keep himself alive + MEL IS REMOVING HER EYES- OKAY-

#156 More extinction about an abandoned park and I am very scared for Martin

#157 another extinction- OMG MEL AND GEORGIE! Did… Helen stab Jon?

#158 SO MUCH. Martin played Lukas, Daisy is feral, ELIAS IS JONAH, Not!Sasha is loose, disaster duo is here, Martin is stuck in Lonely, Gertrude wanted ‘Elias’ to kill her. WHAT.

#159 Peter shares his story, is evaporated. “I see you, Jon…”

#160

Look at the sky, Martin. It’s looking back.

I OPEN THE DOOR!

[brb-on-a-quest]

Well im back now and I have found my history notebook (debating whether I should throw it away but I did a good job decorating it)

so. @igotthisaccountunderduress let me tell you about Aaron Burr.

Aaron burr was an orphan raised by an uncle, went to lawschool, stopped lawschool to fight under benedict arnold (ha. ha. ha. this really shouldn't be that funny but it is -> benedict arnold was a traitor from US to British ppl). He got appointed to George Washingtons personal military cabinet before both men realized they got a long like stray cats (not very well at all) and Burr was transferred to some other not-as-important dude.

Then him and hamilton got Beef (very famously) but this kind of all started when Burr beat out Hamiltons Father In Law in political stuff and then FIL beat out Burr during the next thing so things are all dandy.

And then he got in as vice president under jefferson. How this worked back then (doesn't now) is that whoever got the Most Votes is now in charge and whoever got second most votes is now VP.

As you can imagine this doesn't lead to really great coworker dynamics especially if you and ur boss/vp are like so opposite. Like when Thomas Jefferson was VP to president John Adams, Adams hated Jefferson so much that he didn't let Jeffy have a say in anything. Like thomas Jefferson did one thing once in all the two terms John Adams was in charge I think, idk, it was something rediculous.

But anyway, all this to say, Aaron Burr is now vp under jefferson. And as you can imagine, they do not get along well (Jefferson accused burr of 'secret dealings'). but their differences are mainly due to opposing beliefs on whether we should support or rewrite the constitution fo the united states.

Anyway, time for reelection, Burr doesn't get enough votes for either presidency or VP and he decides to try and get governership of New York where he was actually really popular.

Remember how hamilton didn't really like him becus of burr's political campaign against his FIL? Hammy decides to send a rediculous amount of irl subtweets (derogatory letters) against Burr to get him to lose.

Burr takes this very personal and challenges Hamilton to a duel, stepping from across New York to New Jersey. This is because, although duels were outlawed in both places, penalties were less severe over the border.

Now take this next part with a grain of salt bc it comes direct from the history prof.

Duels were common; but they were never usually fatal. Essentially it was like lukewarm Christians going through the motions on a sunday in church. A lot of the stereotypes still apply. Two people back to back, walked a x amount of feet, turned around and would usually shoot upward or otherwise shoot to miss the target.

Burr was not one of those people. Alledgedly, he told Hamilton he meant to kill him and he didn't care wether hamilton would try to shoot him or not. No one's sure whether hamilton was like "haha bet" and tried to kill him or whether he was like shooting up in the air as the practice usually went. Either way sum of that was Burr: 1 (unharmed), Hamilton: 0 (very much shot due to Burr's word, and died the following day).

Aaron Burr... idk if he didn't think this through but he's now considered a murderer for challenging Hamilton to an agreed-upon duel. So he runs to join his new BFF who is secretly in the pay of pain and wants to take over the US napoleonic style. Burr gets *to into it* to the point BFF turns him into Jefferson. He gets cleared.

he then gets involved with the Essex Junto, an organization in New England, tries to help the secede from the entire country (New England hated US before it was cool to) and then he did the same thing again somewhere in the middle west (I forgot where, sorry Dr. W). He gets away both times because even though Jefferson hates Burr's stupid guts, John Marshall is head of the supreme court (John Marshall also hates Jefferson sees this as a very innocent way to undermine him) and Marshall creates the definition of reason that we still have today that basically says Burr gets off scot free twice because we're not at war so there's no enemy for Burr to be helping.

Burr finally accepts that he is now a persona non grata and fucks back off to NY where he marries a second widow for money (again) and she divorces him on the grounds of adultery. This divorce finally is finalized on the day Aaron Burr dies.

[tojikai]

That anon who thought of reader writing them all a letter and immediately dipping to another country COOKED‼️‼️

It'd be such a great punishment to all of them. If they can hide things from reader and protect satoru, they very clearly took his side. Reader can be just as selfish too, no need to concern herself with their feelings.

Prioritise yourself and leave that cheating bum with his dream woman he so desperately wanted. If you can fuck up a nice 5 year old relationship for an opportunity to makeout with your teenage crush then it's clear your priorities are fucked. He was so mean to her during that scene in first chapter. You won't even let her speak and defend herself? Seriously? Lol please go to hell now I don't wanna hear shit from you. It was so obvious that the guilt and inner frustration for cheating needed to go somewhere and it was ironically dumped on the person Satoru cheated on!

Also yes I'm the #bringbacktoji anon I'm here again because your stories are too good at writing shitty men. I love me my softie satoru but your version of the mean cunt satoru who later grovels at reader's feet is so satisfying. He has had a track record of being awful every time 😭

Dude just says whatever. If I'm the love of your life and you can do me dirty by cheating on me with a momentary crush then idk bruh I'm scared for the women you didn't feel that strongly for. This is your treatment for the love of your life..other women are cooked wallahi.

A letter and no other means to contact reader would eat so bad I wanna watch people suffer TEEHEE. Just him living in guilt daily and not being able to do shit with it, that suffering has no channel and outlet. Make satoru suffer I love seeing shit men have to face the consequences of their actions🫡

i had fun reading that ask and this LMAO its like i can sense the anger y'all harbor for pm!satoru😭 but to defend shoko and suguru, as mentioned in the story, they didn't know that satoru didn't tell yn that he kissed rie, so they never mentioned it explicitly to her😭but if it happened like they hid it from yn, that'd be so fucked up🥹 w yn's initial character and personality in pm, she'd probably end up in a worse situation bc she got no support system at all😭 it would be cruel for them if she just disappeared but life would be hard for yn too😭 anyways thank you so much for your support~!! im thinking of really bringing back toji bc i miss that man so much😭 i appreciate u for sharing this <3

[sunnyupsidedown]

Thoughts On: The Sunshine Court

by Nora Sakavic [goodreads]

Aka, if I didn't put myself on a social media blackout, these would have been my live tweets. Spoilers below.

Gosh. What if Jeremy starts to hate Kevin for not doing 'enough' to help Jean. That’d probably hurt him so bad lmao Though I don't really thing Jeremy gives off those vibes. He's too sunny.

Also, now I’m thinking of Jeremy being a very normal kid with a normal background completely unprepared to help someone with absolutely massive amounts of trauma. Like. This kid being like, look at my normal jock life and then suddenly is exposed to the dark underbelly of organized crime.

Like. With Andrew and Neil, Neil was already familiar and Andrew at least is familiar with how bad law enforcement is so it’s all a non-issue. Jeremy though… what’s his story???

Jean over here probably texting with T9 on a flip phone

Which fox uses T9, which one taps the number until it gets to the letter they want, and which one has a phone with a keyboard?

Have I mentioned that I love Renee? I feel like she’s often seen as an uwu good girl Christian. But like. She’s so badass. I think she said it herself that she’s a bad person doing her best to be good and you really get that with the “smile that doesn’t reach her eyes”. Fucking love her.

Okay the uni president thing is actually kind of funny. Because I work in an athletic department and it reminds me of when the president requested access to the team practice schedules so I was in charge of setting up an account in our messaging app with the instructions to grant him access but with absolutely no power to do anything else

Do you think Renee will put "Destabilized Evermore leading to its eventual downfall" on her resume when she applies to the Peace Corps? I know this is not how it works but....

We’re going to see the reaction to Riko’s death from Jean’s POV!!! I wrote a ficlet about this!! It’s gonna be so cool to see what really happens!!

Wtf Jean’s 19?!?!

I'm saying this like everything that happened to him wouldn't have been just as horrifying if he were Kevin's age. But like. WTF??? He's Neil's age!!

LMAO everyone wants to choke Kevin out

“You were injured in a scrimmage” DAMN. I did not expect that from Abby. She's so done with Jean's evasions

I was being kind of mean to Kevin earlier and now I’m going to cry. He was just doing his best too :( what can you do when you’ve been raised in the system?

Kevin, Neil, and Jean are in the idiot exy trio

It’s so fascinating to know that this was the version where Jean lived because you can see the parts where his life could have ended. Like if Abby left the pills. If Jean made it back to Evermore. If Wymack didn’t threaten Tetsuji.

The way that they’re (Neil is) playing 5D exy mafia chess is so extra 😭

Everyone really looking to Neil for their courage. Neil was brave so I can be brave (or at least follow him). What would Neil do?

Do you think the other exy coaches know exy was built on blood? Or at least that Evermore was?

Jean and Kevin in the corner at the party full of Ravens: They don’t know the extent of Riko’s violence

I’m starting to realize that Jean is a lover... [Redacted: This is getting it's own post because I have feelings about this.]

JEREMY!! HELLO!! I DON'T KNOW YOU. ARE YOU DEPRESSING TOO?

Jeremy is so normal. This is going to be so good. He’s literally going to be like “why did you say it like that? You know that’s fucked up right?” Call it like it is my dude!!

How the hell did they get the seniors on board with a smaller line up? They’re giving up a chance at a championship run... Ah.

Oh. He’s rich?? Jeremy is rich? With a butler? Is he secretly going to be tied to the west coast mafia? And taking Jean on will create a bond between east and west?

OH HE’S POLITICIAN RICH. Damn. You know there's blood money somewhere

Are you telling me that the sunshine court is a nickname between Kevin and Jean (and maybe some others? I don't remember if it was ever mentioned in the other books) for USC? And it’s typically called the Gold Court? Cause if so, they’re soooo starved

Do you think Jean knows (or remembers) how to use money? Since he’s been locked up in the Nest for so long? How many social norms has he forgotten? How awkward is he going to be relearning them?

Oh god. Jean found out from Jeremy! Holy shit I was not expecting that. Damn. Also. He's alone :(

Renee and Jean 😭

I’m so glad they talked about redshirting. I was SO confused why they could go five years when the rule is 5 years to compete 4 seasons.

Radiology equipment in their exy stadium?? Man I forget how rich some schools are

Watch Jean break out in hives the moment he gets on clothes that are outside the monochrome color scheme

Oooo Jeremy, show me your spine. I want to see him mad. I want to see him lose control.

And then I forgot I was taking notes because I was too absorbed. When is the next book supposed to come out again?

[an-aura-about-you]

cracking open a room temperature one (Handbook for Mortals chapter 1) with the boys

when we last left our hero, Scheherazade, who insists on having a nickname that doesn't sound like her name, had just left home after some vague thing her mother did. it's implied that she used magic to keep her stuck in her one horse town, but it's never outright stated and I doubt it will be at this point. it's wild because it honestly doesn't take much for me to side with a kid against their parent in a fictional argument, but you're giving me nothing to work with so I don't honestly know if Dela even did anything that bad.

also I'm upset that Dad is apparently on just the right wavelength to hear the name Zade and guess that it was similar to Scheherazade. but maybe that's one of those parent things like when good ol' Strong Bad told us that a garage sale is more like a garbage sale and made them rhyme. so congrats, you have reached your target audience of nearly 70 year old dads who do things like doing a little dance when they try on a comfy pair of shorts at the store.

anyway, on to Chapter 1: The Magician

-Zade is doing her audition in front of the entire theater company of nearly 200 people. this is ridiculous both in real life and in the story. like isn't that equal to about 2/3rds of the population of the town where she just left? why waste their time when you probably only need to audition in front of like 3-4 people?

-I don't know why Sarem feels the need to explain what show blacks are. I'd be surprised if someone reading this book hasn't seen a piece of media that shows the backstage crew all in black. I guess it kind of works because she takes the time to talk about how she thinks dudes in show blacks are sexy? but like, we know that black clothes are sexy. that's why the concept of the Little Black Dress exists.

-"Most of the performers looked bored." which means you're really making a great first impression. her audition hasn't started yet, but she's already getting off on the wrong foot with her potential coworkers by dragging them to see this when it's clear they'd rather be somewhere else, like getting ready for their next show since a number of them are in full costume.

-the boss of this thing is the "infamous" Charles Spellman, which means it's time to get into word choice! this isn't exactly a wrong word to use here, but I think it has different connotations than what Sarem was going for in this scene. it's kind of like when I watched like half of the opera Doctor Atomic and a song chose to use the word "odor" when talking about a pleasant smell. it's my understanding it was based on a real poem, but odor typically DOESN'T convey a pleasant smell, and I probably would have chosen "scent" or "aroma" instead had it been me. likewise, unless we're talking about Spellman's penchant to date girls his daughter's age, then there's not really anything infamous about him.

-speaking of, we've got a dude named Spellman and his daughter isn't named Sabrina, but it occurred to me tonight that it WOULD have been hella cool and still a subtle reference to Sabrina the Teenage Witch had she been named Zelda. I might just pretend we're reading about Zelda Holder for the rest of this book.

-in the very next paragraph after calling him infamous we're told Spellman is well respected. so which is it?

-the theater is in the round with stadium seating. (she doesn't say stadium seating, she spends like half a page describing stadium seating instead of just calling it stadium seating.) we're keeping this detail in mind for whinging purposes later.

-ok, Zade is talking about how she doesn't know much about her father during the book's introduction to Spellman. HOW was him being her father supposed to be a twist?? there's a difference between planting clues to your twist and just spelling it out for the reader. but then, considering Sarem has been spelling everything else out, I'm surprised I'm not seeing dashes between the letters.

-this girl on Spellman's arm, Sofia, is the Designated Mean Girl, and I'm gonna take a moment to do what Sarem SHOULD have done and think about her like she's a person for a second.

Because here's the thing about writing, guys:

Your characters are not people; they are tools.

Your characters are most successful when they APPEAR to be people instead of tools.

All of the characters you write are you. Yes, you. Not just your designated self-insert. ALL of them. Even the characters that might be based on someone else since they're still going through the filter of your perception of them.

so let's take a look at Sofia with some information that we're going to learn about her later. we know almost immediately in the book that she's Spellman's girlfriend. (she's about to tell it to Zade "coldly and mean even") and if you know how this book ends, she and Spellman will be broken up sometime before the ending because *spoilers* Spellman is gonna marry (possibly remarry?) Zade's mother Dela. this means their relationship is possibly on the rocks at this point. we're also going to learn smartphones exist in this world. considering Sarem's lack of creativity thus far, I wouldn't be surprised if that includes Facebook and thus has info on Spellman's past hookups. also, when Spellman talks to Zade, he doesn't mention being pleased to meet her or anything. he already knows her, and she knew enough to set up this weird ass audition with him.

if I were Sofia, I would be thinking one of three things:

I would think this girl wants my spot considering my boyfriend is respected as a magician but otherwise "infamous" so it's likely known he likes them young.

I would (incorrectly) assume this is Dela and/or another ex and that Spellman is going to leave me for her.

I would (correctly) assume this is Spellman's daughter and she's about to give me shit for banging her dad.

also, there's a scene later in the book when Sofia talks about paying her dues to be in the show. if she and Spellman are close to splitsville, then her illusion is in the show by merit of her actual talent. even if I was banging the boss, I'd be pissed if his kid showed up expecting a position out of pure nepotism when I had rightfully earned my spot initially. all things considered, I would probably be kind of cold in my greeting to her, too, especially since Zade straight up forgets about Sofia by the end of the page. if Zade can't be bothered with Sofia, why should Sofia bother with her?

-Zade is all self-conscious about everybody sizing her up before her audition but like. what do you think happens at an audition? they are literally here to judge you???

-let's just pause the book for several paragraphs while we introduce you to every fucking person who works in this show. because that's a worthwhile use of pages and ink.

-I know from later information that the dude Zeb who's looking at Zade like he's not happy she's here also knows real actual magic. and like, yeah, I'd be pissed off if I had a magic show in Vegas and worked very hard to conceal my true magic ability while still making it work in the show only for this rando from bumfuck, nowhere to come along and just blatantly do magic in front of fucking everyone in the company.

-this probably would have been a good setup if Zade was supposed to be unlikable but I honestly don't think Sarem would have the ability to write an intentionally unlikable protagonist if she wanted to. and considering she literally confirmed Zade is her self-insert mary sue, I doubt she's supposed to be unlikable. though this also leads to the story problem a lot of mary sue stories have: if the protagonist is already perfect, then where is her character arc going to go? (the answer is nowhere.)

-"I do hope you can get this going soon; we all have other things we need to do." wow Zeb really is a magician you guys! he was able to read my mind!

-oh my god everyone is ignoring Zade. I love this.

-oh this is rich, saying the way Trig spoke to her could have sounded very condescending, Miss "Let Me Devote Paragraphs Of This Book Explaining Show Blacks And Stadium Seating."

-Zade takes the time to tell us it bothers her when people say her name wrong like "Zaad" which just makes me wonder how the hell Sarem thinks Scheherazade is pronounced. like, after reading this I tried doing this with my own name since it could be parsed like that, going from Auralie (rhymes with bee) to Lie (rhymes with eye) and I'm just distracted by how wrong it sounds. I'm convinced that Sarem thinks (or thought, idk if she's heard anyone say the name since publishing the book) Scheherazade rhymes with jade because I can't imagine being called Scheherazade, hearing it pronounced correctly by my mother all 25ish years of my life, and then not being bothered if someone said ANY part of it wrong.

-Mac the technical director is very upset that he hasn't been able to do a safety check on Zade's setup for her trick. and yeah, bro is right. I don't care that Zade signed a waiver, this is still one hell of a liability for the entire company because we don't know if or how any of the other acts will be affected by this.

-Zeb is playing on his phone during Zade's audition. clearly he's the most relatable character in the book so far.

-Zade meets a guy that she claims is too attractive for her to date because she wants to be the prettier one in the relationship. this is the first of many of the little things Sarem will sprinkle into the narrative that indicates Zade is not interested in any actual partnerships but instead wants others the way one wants objects.

-I notice that Charles calls Zade's act a "jump" but Zade thinks of it as an "illusion." calling it a jump is the more fitting description. what she does is she uses her Actual Real Magic to turn the stage into some kinda fiery transportation liquid for her to dive into only to reemerge from the nearby pool. she throws a rose down as proof that the stage is solid, but I mean. anyone who comes to see this trick will go, "Oh! There must be some hidden pool for her to dive into and the rose landed on the only solid bit!" like, I used to really REALLY like magic shows as a kid, and if you watch them long enough, you start picking up on some of the sleight of hand they use, start noticing some of the things they do to try drawing your attention away from the mechanics of the trick. the trick as presented is only truly impressive because of its high dive nature even with the magic.

-wow, Zade even points out that a regular audience would think "trapdoor," meaning once again that the magic part of this is pointless since the high dive is the only part a regular audience would find impressive.

-immediately after the trick, Zade throws her rose to Sofia, winks at her, and says, "For the pretty lady." once again putting myself in Sofia's shoes, this is the moment Zade makes it personal, the moment Zade throws down the gauntlet. this would erase any lingering doubts in my mind. as far as I would be concerned, Zade specifically came here with the goal of ousting me from my position in the show and just straight up challenged me for it in front of literally ALL of my coworkers AND my boyfriend. the absolute fucking nerve of her.

-Sofia gives her a fake smile upon receiving the rose. I'm amazed she had the strength to do that because holy shit Zade that wasn't just a bitch move it was a bitch samba.

-"I was starting to realize it was going to be harder to keep our secret from everyone." YOU MEAN YOUR MAGIC? THE MAGIC YOU JUST POINTLESSLY USED FOR YOUR HIGH DIVE ACT? THAT MAGIC? THE SECRET MAGIC THAT YOU JUST SHOWED 200 PEOPLE? IS THAT THE THING YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KEEP SECRET?

-Spellman's assistant Beth tells Zade that the offer in her contract is the biggest she's ever seen Spellman offer. this is just beyond insulting. girl walks into her daddy's theater like she owns the place, does a high dive with some pointless magic sparkles, and then Daddy gives her allllll the money.

in an interview Sarem did for Vulture, she says that she wrote the story so her self-insert could have all the things she wanted. so, what, Sarem wants her dad to give her some money? if the idea is that Zade earned it, that doesn't hold up no matter how you look at it. with the twist built in that Spellman is Zade's father, it's gonna reek of nepotism upon reread no matter what. but let's look at it without that, and let's take a moment to look at Sofia again.

if I had to pick the dynamic I THINK Sarem was going for with Zade and Sofia, then it's probably Elle and Vivian from Legally Blonde. (not that I think Sarem would watch Legally Blonde, but that doesn't mean the example isn't fitting.) Vivian doesn't take Elle seriously and initially tries to humiliate her but eventually comes to respect Elle the longer they know each other and genuinely befriends her. but it's important to point out that the reason Vivian develops that respect for Elle is because:

she sees all the hard work Elle does to actually earn her position on the legal team

Elle is a genuinely kind person who works to uplift others even if they didn't start on such great terms (more on how Zade treats other people especially women later)

Zade is like if Elle showed up to Harvard Law with the necklace from Ace Attorney that's haunted by the Ghost of Lawyers Past that gives her all the legal information she needs to win the case and bigger boobs. that's just the magic equivalent of what Warner did buying his way in.

long story short, the work Sofia puts in to her prestidigitation act is more impressive than Zade's magic, and Zade getting a position in the show is an insult to that hard work.

ugh, and that was only the end of chapter 1.

[isitthemoon]

The Real MBTI – an essay a rant by me, motivated by the dear @mazeinthemoon

Warnings: LONG (5330 words), rambling, not beta read, one singular curse word, me being a nerd, english is not my first language, may not make sense at times, may contain grammar and vocabulary errors, passionate but not well articulated. Really just a rant and me trying to explain something I care about. I’m also NOT an expert by any means, I’m not a Psychology major, just some person who happens to hyperfixate be REALLY interested on mbti and analytical psychology. If it gives me any credit, my therapist does have a specialization in analytical psychology.

1. What is MBTI?

MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator) is basically just a personality test, but thanks to sites like 16personalities and the internet giving it the same treatment as astrology (disclaimer: I love astrology and MBTI and it’s really sad to see them both being treated as just stereotyped boxes L) it turned into a different thing. Originally it is based on the ideas of this dude (/lh) named Carl Jung. On his book “Psychological Types” he describes what we call ‘Cognitive Functions’, basically different ways people’s brains are wired, explaning tendencies/behaviours/his thoughts on the 8 different psychological types. There are 8 cognitive functions and he describes them separately, so how did we end up with 16 personalities?

Well, there’s this thing called the function ‘stack’ that I’ll go into detail a bit laterksksks but it’s just a way to arrange the functions together. It’s basically (challenge: take a shot every time I say basically here) the way the functions are combined – each type having two different main functions. Add it up and bam: 16 personalities. But where does the myers-briggs come from?

I personally won’t talk much about them, but Isabel Briggs Myers and Katharine Cook Briggs were a daughter and mother duo that read Jung’s book and theory and were like “hey, this is pretty cool, what if we do something more with it?”, and so they basically gave birth to MBTI and popularized the stack and the 16 personalities.

HOWEVER…… somewhere along the way the mbti test became something else, no longer based on Jung’s cognitive function theory, but on another thing called ‘The Big Five’ test (please don’t quote me on that, I didn’t research this more because I honestly don’t care), separating the 4 letters from their original meaning. I’ll explain what they mean later, but for now, know that (for example) INFJ doesn’t really mean just Introverted iNtuitive Feeling and Judging.

[Update: I actually made an effort and researched more about The Big Five thanks to a lovely anon who explained it to me. More on how The Big Five and MBTI connect here]

ALSO want to clear some misconceptions: your “personality” or “psychological type” cannot change.  This doesn’t mean people can’t change, it just means you can’t change your “brain engines”, basically. The “personality” starts being formed during childhood, and with age, it just develops, for better or for worse. And so, when things happen, sometimes it manifests (as in appears, shows up, acts in a certain way) in a healthy and positive way, and sometimes in a toxic and self-sabotaging way. You can always improve yourself and see new perspectives, but you can’t really change your “programation”. Think of it as your software system, if it makes it any easier to understand.

And another misconception is the percentage thing. I didn’t really wanna ruin the fun (😭) but I also don’t want to spread misinformation. Percentages are not a thing. You’re not 70% feeling and 30% thinking. You’re not 98% introverted and 2% extroverted. Honestly, no one would be healthy with this “stats”. I’ll explain it in more detail in the Stack topic, but everyone has Introverted AND Extroverted function. Everyone has Feeling AND Thinking and everyone has iNtuition AND Sensing. The functions are just treated with different “priorities” by your brain, and if you “abuse” too much of one, it’ll cause a warning, it won’t be healthy. “So basically everyone is an ambivert?” I guess????? Everyone has their moments and we all need to go out sometimes and stay alone other times. It doesn’t mean you can’t have a natural preference, though.  This is getting long, so just hold these thoughts for now because there’s a topic just for thiskkkkk

2. Why should we care?

I mean, to most people it’s just another personality thing, maybe a way to have fun while stereotyping people or to blame all your flaws on like your sun sign (I’m a pisces btw ^^), so… why should we care about it?

I can only speak for me, so… first things first, it is science, so you shouldn’t be so skeptical about it. I like it because it is very well structured and explained, it makes so much sense to me and after you learn about the real thing, you start to notice it in people that are close to you. Also, like every single personality thing, it is a tool used to try and understand people better. To paraphrase an amazing youtuber (channel: dear kristin) it is a tool you can use so you can learn to love others better. When we understand each other, we can love each other better and have more empathy towards each other. It helps in knowing why some people do X and other people do Y when Z happens to them both. It makes it easier to know someone’s thought process and understand why they react a certain way, and it’s also a great tool to perceive people’s flawed tendencies as well as their natural’s strenghs. With this knowledge in mind, we can also focus on being better versions of ourselves.

And also, my most personal reason that I’m so passionate about this is: if I can make the effort and connect to and understand others, it means that people can do it too. If I’m capable of knowing this and seeing what others’ lives are like, it means other people can, even if just a little, understand me and get me. It means I’m not alone or disconnected. It means no one’s really THAT much of a weirdo that no one could possibly understand them. It means that I can be seen and valued the same as others. I’m gonna stop right now before I start crying and ranting about loneliness, thank you for your patiencekkkkk let’s move on.

3. So… then what are Cognitive Functions?

*sighs* okay I’m too lazy to try and explain it first with my own words so I’ll just copy-paste it from Wikipedia: “Cognitive functions, also referred to as psychological functions, as described by Carl Jung in his book Psychological Types, are particular mental processes within a person's psyche that are present regardless of common circumstance.” It’s basically, how I said before, a thought process, a perspective, the way someone’s brain is “programed” or “wired”. Don’t quote me on this but apparently it’s like using some parts of the brain more than others? Like that thing of “are you a left-sided or right-sided brain?” but more complex, I don’t really know how to explain it.

As I said before, everyone has an equal number of functions, which basically means everyone can make choices based on feeling and thinking, for example. What makes it special is that Cognitive Functions are NATURAL behaviours, your go-to’s, the processes you’re so used to doing that you don’t even realize it. In a basic (and unpolished) way, if you’re doing an effort to “make” it on purpose, it’s not a cognitive function. And according to your own preferences, some functions are more developed and others are more repressed. This comes back to the Stack thing *sighs* I promise I’ll get to it, but first we have to learn about the functions themselves. Let’s make some sub-topics:

3.1. Disposition: Introversion vs Extroversion

So, a function’s disposition talks about where its energy flow and its goal. Introversion means the focus is internal, on the self, on subjective things. Extroversion means the focus is external, on objective things and on outside “objects”. Jung talks about it in his book the “object” is basically any external thing, something that is not originated from whithin – be it feelings (the “object” being a place’s atmosphere and social cues, for example) or sensations (the “object” being external stimulation instead of you paying attention to your own body). Being Introverted means there’s a resistance, a kind of unwillingness towards this “object”, while being extroverted means you’re positive towards the “object” and adapting yourself to it. Extroversion expands, Introversion narrows. Extroversion explores and experiments, Introversion organizes and settles. Extroversion focuses on the object, Introversion focuses on the impression of the object. This applies to all functions, and divides them equally: 4 introverted functions and 4 extroverted functions.

3.2. Judging Functions: Thinking vs Feeling

Here comes the J you know from the 4 letters. To put it in a simple way (because I already talked too much and we didn’t even arrive on the functions themselves) Judging Functions talk about how you make decisions. Where you go to when making choices. There are 2 Judging functions: Thinking and Feeling. Copy-pasting again to make it more simple: “These functions determine how you make decisions; based on values, ethics, and the emotional needs of others (feelers) or logic, causality, and efficiency (thinkers).” Each one has their extroverted and introverted “version”, so:

Extroverted Thinking (aka Te), Extroverted Feeling (aka Fe), Introverted Thinking (aka Ti) and Introverted Feeling (aka Fi). Each feeling function has a complementary thinking one and vice-versa, meaning one cannot *be* without the other. Think of it like yin-yang, complementary opposites. If you have one, you have the other. So, Te has Fi (and Fi has Te) and Fe has Ti (and Ti has Fe). They’re often called “axis”, as in “The Fi-Te axis”, because when we talk about one function we often end up talking about their opposite and how they manifest together. The same applies to the following functions.

3.3. Perceiving Functions: Intuitions vs Sensing

This is the P. The Perceiving Functions talk about how you see the world, how you ‘perceive’ things, how you receive information and how you organize it. The perceiving functions are Sensing and Intuition. Again with the copy-paste: “These functions determine how you take in information; through your five senses (sensing) or through patterns and underlying meanings (intuition).” Again, both have their I and E version:

Extroverted Sensing (aka Se), Introverted Intuition (aka Ni) [and together they make an axis], Extroverted Intuition (aka Ne) and Introverted Sensing (aka Si) [also making their own axis.].

4. Oh my god, are we finally gonna talk about whatever the hell the “Stack” is?

Yes. Finally. Will I copy-paste some things? Probably. So…. What’s a Function Stack? Well…

There are 8 cognitive functions, right? Te, Fe, Ne, Se, Ti, Fi, Ni and Si. And I said that everyone has Thinking AND Feeling and Sensing AND Intuition. This means everyone has 4 cognitive functions (ACCORDING TO THE MYERS-BRIGGS THEORY, I’m only focusing on them, but basically what happens is that different people read Jung’s book and made different theories according to their own research and opinion). The Function Stack is just how these functions are organized according to your brain’s own preference and development. Look:

The 1st function, called the Dominant one, is your main function. It’s basically your autopilot, everything you do goes through this function, it’s how you live. “When we use a function that is destined to become “preferred”, we feel an emotional investment in what we’re doing, and we feel in control of our emotional life, so we keep on doing it. We tend to be more stimulated by the function. It then appears to “develop” or get “stronger”, and behaviors associated with it will increase”.

The 2nd, called the Auxiliary function, “helps” your dominant function, as the name suggests. It balances the 1st function and is there to walk beside it, and is not as developed as the 1st.

The 3rd is called… the Tertiary. It’s not as developed as the previous 2, and it is ALWAYS the opposite function of the 2nd one. This happens because of some concepts in Analytical Psychology that I wish I didn’t have to talk about, but I’ll probably make a sup-topic. We often like to use our Tertiary function in a relaxed way, since we have easier access to it that way. Some people describe it as our “Child” function because of that sense of curiosity as well as immaturity that children have, meaning we are curious to use it and enjoy using it in a stress-free way but don’t have the maturity level to use it in the “””right””” way.

The 4th one is called the Inferior function. It is the least developed and most repressed function, and it is ALWAYS the opposite of the Dominant Function. This Function often “comes out” in moments of stress or when we used too much of our dominant one. Because of this, it’s not exactly easy to use it in a healthy way. Because it is the most repressed one, our conscious brain doesn’t really “like” it, so when it comes to the surface it’s often in a toxic way. HOWEVER… it doesn’t mean this function is bad and you should hate it. This is the function that shows us our “weaknesses”, and at the same time, tells us how to overcome them. When people do something “good” aka achieve something with this function, they often feel very relieved, rewarded and satisfied. It’ll always be our least used function, but if we learn how to use it accordingly, we’ll walk one step further on the road that is Self Discovery.

Also just realized that I talked more about the Inferior than the Dominant. Huh.

4.1. SO… how does this work in practice? Is there a formula?

Why, yes, there is. Here’s the cake mold for you.

1st: pick one singular function among the 8 available. That’s the Dominant Function.

2nd: If the first function you chose was a Judging function, now pick a Perceiving function. If the first one was a Perceiving function, now pick a Judging one. The 2nd function brings balance, so it has the opposite disposition of the Dominant one (meaning that if the 1st was extroverted the 2nd will be introverted and vice versa).

3rd: this function is the exact opposite of the 2nd function. Reminder that Thinking is the opposite of Feeling, Intuition is the opposite of Sensing and Extroversion is the opposite of Introversion.

4th: this function, as said before, is the exact opposite of the Dominant function.

Let’s look at an example.

One: let’s say the dominant function is Fi. Fi is a judging function, so the auxiliary function has to be a perceiving. Fi is introverted, so the auxiliary has to be extroverted. That leaves us with two options: Ne and Se. Each auxiliary will make a personality type, giving us TWO personalities with the SAME Dominant Function (and so… 8 x 2 = 16 personalities). For now, let’s go with Ne. So far we have FiNe. The tertiary function is always the opposite of the auxiliary. The opposite of N (intuition) is S (sensing), and the opposite of E (extroversion) is I (introversion), so our 3rd function will be Si. And the inferior function is always the opposite of the dominant one. Well, the opposite of F (feeling) is T (thinking), leaving us with Te. Therefore, the full stack is FiNeSiTe.

Another one: this time, the dominant function is Se. Se is a perceiving function, so the auxiliary has to a judging function, with the opposite disposition. That gives Ti and Fi. Let’s go with Ti right now. The auxiliary is always the exact opposite of the auxiliary, leaving us with Fe. And finally, the inferior is always the exact opposite of the dominant, leaving us with Ni. Therefore, our final stack is SeTiFeNi.

See how every stack has 2 extroverted and 2 introverted functions? That’s to balance out the psyche. Same thing with – again – having T AND F and S AND N. That’s right, everyone is a Thinker, Feeler, Sensor and Intuitive. What differentiates everyone, as we just saw, is how these functions are organized within our brains.

To make it easier, here’s all 16 possible stacks, divided by Dominant Function:

FiNeSiTe / FiSeNiTe

TiNeSiTe / TiSeNiTe

NiFeTiSe / NiTeFiSe

SiTeFiNe / SiFeTiNe

FeNiSeTi / FeSiNeTi

TeSiNeFi / TeNiSeFi

SeFiTeNi / SeTiFeNi.

NeFiTeSi / NeTiFeSi

Bonus: how can we group the psychological types? Honestly, any way you want. For me, what makes the most sense is to groups the types which all have the same cognitive functions (they’ll just be in a different order). You can also group them by: same dominant function, same auxiliary function, Feeling Dominants, Intuition Dominants, Judging Function Dominants, Feeling Doms + Sensing Aux, and the list goes on. It’s just fun to see the ways they could go together.

4.2. Are you any curious why the 3rd and 4th functions are the opposite of the 2nd and 1st?

Well, allow me to try to introduce you to three very important concepts in Analytical Psychology in a very simple (and probably sidetracked?) way: the Self, the Persona and the Shadow.

Think of the Self as…. Like, your “true” Self, the most complete and authentic version of you. “The totality of a person’s being”, according to Jung according to this site I won’t reference said.

The Persona is “a role that an individual chooses to play in life or it is the impression of them they want to express to the outside world”. Think of it as a social “mask” (and no, it’s not being fake, everyone acts in a different way with different people, or are you telling me you treat a boss the same way you treat your sibling?), the surface or “light”/visible part of your personality. In this case, we can make a parallel to the cognitive functions. Persona = Dominant and Auxiliary functions, since they’re the ones that we use to navigate the world.

Now, Jung basically says that when we present something in our Persona, the opposite traits are repressed, but still exist within us. “Despite pushing them away, they may find a way in to our lives, either through what we refer to as out of control reactions, eruptions and being “out of character” in our attitudes and behaviours.” In our unconscious there is a bit of everything we don’t like. This is the Shadow. Bringing it to my analogy, Shadow = Tertiary and Inferior functions, because they’re the repressed and undeveloped ones. To reiterate, the Shadow is not always bad. If in your daily life you’re someone with a low self-esteem and a people-pleaser, in your Shadow there’s a high self-esteem, assertive version of yourself that knows how to set boundaries.

In psychological treatments using Analytical psychology, it’s often said that one of the main goals is the Integration of the Shadow. It means taking parts of the Shadow, looking at them, understanding, feeling, accepting them and learning how to use them to be a better version of yourself aka walking one step closer to the Self.

5. So… what does INFJ mean? What do any of the letters mean?

So, in the first topic I said, with these exact words, “that INFJ doesn’t really mean just Introverted iNtuitive Feeling and Judging.” I mean, they do mean what they mean, but there’s more to it.

The 4 letters aren’t supposed to be an acronym, they’re supposed to be a code. Yes, there’s a secret (not really) encoded message in the 4 letters of your mbti type!!! And what do they reveal?????

Your cognitive functions. Your function stack. That’s right, it was in your faces the whole time, and only now someone decided to tell you about it. So… how do you find it?

Let’s start with the INFJ example (because that’s my type!!! ^^). We’ll use it to see the formula for the 4 letters in ANY type.

The 1st letter – I or E: this shows us the Disposition/Energy of the Dominant Function of the type. In the case of the INFJ, the Dominant function will be an Introverted one (Fi, Ni, Si or Ti). But how do we know what functions are here?

The 2nd letter – N or S: this shows us our Perceiving function. “But doesn’t everyone have Intuition AND Sensing?” Yes, but when it comes to the code (or the 4 letters), they only show the Dominant and Auxiliary functions. In the case of the INFJ, we know that the Perceiving Function is Intuition, but we still don’t know if it’s Ni or Ne.

The 3rd letter – F or T: this shows us our Judging function. The same things said in the 2nd letter apply on this one. In our example of the INFJ, we know that the Judging function is Feeling, but again, we still don’t know if it’s Fi or Fe.

The 4th letter – J or P: Now here comes the catch. Being a J doesn’t mean you’re organized and being a P doesn’t mean you’re spontaneous. This letter reveals to us…. Which function is our EXTROVERTED function!!!! Being a XXXJ means you either have Fe or Te and being a XXXP means you have Ne or Se. It’s ALWAYS the Extroverted function, so it means your other function is the Introverted one. SO, if the INFJ is a J, it means that the Judging function (which we learned is Feeling), is the extroverted one, so…. Fe!!! This automatically means that the Perceiving function (in this case, Intuition) is introverted, so… Ni!!!! The two main functions of the INFJ are Fe and Ni!

Bringing it all together: So, if you go and think further about this, you’ll go…. “Hey. ENFJ also has the same functions, Fe and Ni”. And here comes the part about the Stack. Remember how the 1st letters shows us the energy of our Dominant function? If the INFJ is introverted, the order will be Ni and then Fe. For the ENFJ, it’ll be first Fe and then Ni. Applying our knowledge from the Stack topic, we can now say that the INFJ function stack is NiFeTiSe, and the ENFJ is FeNiSeTi.

Another example, let’s go with INFP.

1st letter: it shows us that the Dominant function is Introverted (we still don’t know which one).

2nd letter: it shows us that the Perceiving function is Intuition. N for iNtuition. We still don’t know if it’s Ne or Ni.

3rd letter: it shows us that the Judging function is Feeling. We still don’t know if it’s Fi or Fe.

4th letter: here it isss! It tells us that the Perceiving Function is the Extroverted one. So…. The INFP has Ne!

Bringing it all together: So, if the N is extroverted (Ne), automatically the F has to be introverted (Fi). Since the INFP is an… well, IXXX, it means the introverted function is the Dominant one. Applying the Stack Formula, we have the INFP function stack – FiNeSiTe.

You can also figure out the 4 letters from the function stack, kinda like revere engineering. Fun challenge: go back to the Stack list and try to assign the type letters to each one. Remember: the 4 letters only show the Dominant and Auxiliar Functions!

Also, in case you’re wondering how to pronounce the functions abbreviated forms, just say the letters in a separate way. Fe = eff-ee. I mean, there aren’t rules, really, so when I talk in my native language I just pronounce the syllable (as in pronouncing Fe as /Feh/ and Ti as /Tea/).

6. Is this when you finally talk about the functions themselves?

Yes. Finally. It only took almost 3.9k words to arrive here. But we’ll finally talk about how each function works. HOWEVER….. have in mind that each function “behaves” differently according to its position in the stack. What I’ll present here is the main gist, the basic meaning of the functions, the summary of the summary, with maybe some examples on how they look when unbalanced or unhealthy. If by now you’re REALLY interested, feel free to search more about it. Search something like “*insert function here* in all 4 positions” (or 8, if you want to see other models). One youtube channel that goes into this is INFJinxed. Another channel I really like, for knowledge AND comedy sketches, is dear kristin.

Now… after 4k words, let’s talk about each function individually. Finally, I’ll keep it simple, but I also recommend you going to the channels previously mentioned if you want to learn about them in a more detailed way. I’ll start with the Extroverted ones, then the Introverted.

Also, keep in mind that these summaries are how I got to understand the functions after doing my own research and reading Jung’s book, because 99% of the time I had no idea what people meant when they were repeating their static definition of the functions. If you want to look at other ways to explain the same thing, you can always do your own research, there are A LOT of people that already explained them.

6.1. Extroverted Thinking aka Te.

This function talks about objective norms, tradition, empirical truth, universal ideas, formulas (in any way), justice, and necessary actions. The ends justify the means. When unhealthy it turns into dogmatism and perfectionism. Think of “it HAS to be this way, and anyone who says otherwise is WRONG”. When unhealthy, everything is black and white. This is a result of the Inferior Fi coming through.

6.2. Extroverted Feeling aka Fe.

Fe talks about emotional accommodation and adaptation, objective or traditionally shared values, the feelings of sharing and belonging, “reading the room”, perceiving social cues and setting an atmosphere, what feels reasonable and/or fair. When unhealthy it turns into fakeness (lack of genuineness) and making negative/pessimistic generalizations. This has to do with Inferior Ti coming through.

6.3. Extroverted Sensing aka Se.

Se talks about being binded to anything sensorial, external stimulations, object conditioning, physiology, concrete processes/objects, realism, things for what they are, having sensations and enjoying them, also kind of an impulsiveness (as all extroverted functions are, but this means physical impulses). When unhealthy it turns into exaggerated skepticism, futility and lack of critical thinking.

6.4. Extroverted Intuition aka Ne.

Ne talks about an attitude of expectation, seeing external tendencies, searching infinite possibilities, a desire to explore and never to settle, being an adventurer (talking about ideas and ideals) and having a hunch. Think of it like having an itch to explore concepts, and after you scratch one, you’re “satisfied” and another itch appears. When unhealthy it turns into “jack of all trades, master of none”, lack of compromise and commitment, a type of detachment and paranoia.

6.5. Introverted Thinking aka Ti.

Ti talks about critical thinking, subjective and relative truths (“but what really is the truth?”), analysis of perspectives, theorizing, exposure and development of ideas (but not focused on applicability), debating and discussing. When unhealthy it loses sense, turns cold and inflexible, turns gullible and overly emotional, links their own truth to their Self (can’t separate own ideas from own personality, so criticism is viewed as a personal attack). Think of stereotypical philosopherskkkkkk.

6.6. Introverted Feeling aka Fi.

Fi talks about intimacy, fidelity to one’s own feelings, intensity instead of expression, internalizing things, an ease in being attuned to your own emotions (identifying, knowing, understanding and properly feeling them), focusing on your impression of things, the saying “still waters run deep”. When unhealthy it becomes egocentric, victimist and detached from others.

6.7. Introverted Sensing aka Si.

Si talks about subjective perception aka it doesn’t focus on the fact itself/what happened but on what it felt like/the impression it left, the external object only acts as a stimulation for the perception, also talks about cumulative experience and knowledge, resistance, persistence, attachment, focusing on summarizing, reducing and on the subjective participation. The reference is not the object, but the reaction to (coming in contact with) the object. When unhealthy it turns into obsessiveness, paranoia and hypochondriasis.

6.8. (Finally) Introverted Intuition aka Ni.

Not gonna lie, this function was kinda hard for me to explain because I just live it, every single day. It really is so natural to me that it’s hard for me to put this “explanation lens” on it. But here it is.

Ni talks about focusing on the elements of the unconscious, guidance by internal movement, mental images “triggered” by external things, an easiness in perceiving the processes of the unconscious, seeing underlying meanings, formation of ideals, “timeless knowledge” (to learn more, search about the Collective Unconscious and Archetypes), focus on the “How?”, the ability to generate visions (in the future/goal kind of meaning) and to speculate. What this function feels like is as if the meanings/ideas existed as separate entities, disconnected from one’s own mind, even if they were created internally. Think of that one Miley Cyrus meme: wHat Does it MEAN??? WHAT does it mEAN? When unhealthy it turns into a disconnection from the real world, physical sensibility and exaggerated attachments to things/people as well as dissociation.

7. Oh wow… that was a lot. So how can I know my type, then?

So. There are some tests you can do online based on the cognitive functions, but honestly the best way to know your type is learning about them and recognizing the functions in yourself. The information I just gave you here can be a great starting point, feel free to expand your research and see other explanations and points of view. Maybe my explanation just doesn’t click for you and you might understand the functions better as straightforward key-words or even as complicated metaphors. Good luck on your self-discovery journey ^^

Also, the internet may try its best, but an ACTUAL REAL Typology test can only be applied by a licensed therapist. That’s how I learned about my own type. My true type, because for YEARS I thought I was an INFP because of my misunderstanding of the cognitive functions. I did this +5k rant so you didn’t have to go through what I went through.

8. So… are we done?

Oh my god, I guess???????? We’re done???? Oh shit. I can’t believe I actually did this. And now I don’t really know what to saydkdkdkskkkkk. But I have an idea on where to start.

Dear Moon, what a crazy ridekkkkk I did tell you I was REALLY passionate about this and I did spend hours revisiting my knowledge and somehow studying for fun while doing this.

Thank you for encouraging me to infodump, I’m not really used to people being interested on my interests, so this really moved me (emotionally). Thank you for interacting with me and being so kind, I try my best to give the same treatment but I hope life/the universe/whatever cosmic energy you might believe in gives you back the good energy you put into the world, because I can only do so much.

I think I’m getting emotional because it’s almost midnight where I live and I’m quite sleepy, but I just couldn’t stop working on this. I really wish you all the best. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Remember to drink water. Treat yourself with the same kindness you offer us dear moots on this website/app. Thank you again for reading what turned out to be ACTUAL TEN PAGES!!!!!! And also +5.2k words. Have a wonderful night.

And thank you to everyone who read this until now. I’m just some nerd who likes mbti and decided to share the little I know on the internet, through my own point of view. If you happen to be a psychology major, licensed therapist or someone who also studies and/or understands mbti and analytical psychology, feel free to correct anything I might have explained wrong or unclear, as well as add your own thoughts. These are just my 2 cents, after all.

Have a great day, everyone. I’m Gio. This was my rant.

[gerogerigaogaigar]

This is it! My last batch of reviews. This time my boyfriend supplied six albums. He is more of a singles and eps kinda guy so the album choices are kinda...

The Front Bottoms - Going Grey

The Front Bottoms have existed in my periphery for a little while now. I'll hear a song now and then but I've never sat down and listened to an album. Going Grey exists somewhere in between 10s indie folk and 00s pop punk/emo. The lyrics are solidly unsophisticated without being stupid. A love letter to immaturity. It is clearly the work of someone looking back on their younger self and fondly roasting them. The music really supports this by primarily utilizing the tendencies of immature 00s pop punk and pretentious 10s indie folk. The contrast makes the tongue in cheek nature of the music clear without ever having to signal too overtly to the listener.

Blink-182 - California

So I actually kinda like Blink-182. I think their music from the 90s is a pure and raw expression of suburban alienation. Plus Travis Barker is an unbelievably good drummer. Unfortunately this album is from 2016. Ok it's not all bad actually. Tom DeLonge has been replaced by Alkaline Trio frontman Matt Skiba and he lends a bit of that emo sound to the album which isn't really much of a jump. Barker is still capable of breakneck drum fills. And a lot of the songs have the energy of their 90s output. There is a lingering feeling though that these men are in their 40s and still singing about being teenagers. Please stop. But between big misses like Kings Of The Weekend and Teenage Satellites are songs that remind me why I liked this band in the first place. The Only Thing That Matters is a major standout track for having the rawness and speed that made me love them back in their Dude Ranch Days. California is a mixed bag, but it's honestly a lot better than you'd expect out of a 2016 Blink-182 album.

Fall Out Boy - Mania

What the fuck happened to this band? From Under The Cork Tree is one of the best albums of the 00s full of witty lyricism and catchy music. Mania is an Imagine Dragons album. Fall Out Boy have become soulless trend chasers who don't even really care about the music they make. It's generically "epic" with vapid lyrics that don't communicate anything. Someone needs to euthanize these idiots before they go making more music.

Rezz - A Certain Kind Of Magic

Rezz is a lesser known DJ and electronic music producer that more people need to listen to. She has an incredibly chaotic style that mixes dubstep, brostep, electro house, and hip hop. And if that sounds a lot like Skrillex to you don't worry. While Rezz has a lot in common with her obnoxious brostep predecessor she is also capable of composing music that isn't just nonstop sensory overload. The peaks and valleys are what make her music so engaging, a very energetic segment can easily turn right into a lower bass driven dubstep sequence. The bass is crunchy with smoother mids and high ends and there are a good number of samples. A Certain Kind Of Magic also inexplicably ends on basically an emo song which catches me off guard every time, but goes to show how a wide range of influences makes for interesting music.

Rainbow Kitten Surprise - RKS

I don't hate this. I'll admit that the whole indie white boy blues aesthetic never clicked with me, and I can point to a number of bands doing this sort of thing that I like better, but I can point to innumerable bands that I like much, much less. RKS is deeply inoffensive music that isn't gonna hold my attention too hard, but it does have a few moments that are truly enjoyable. Particularly when they let down that bombastic sound and let those bubbly clean guitar lines shine.

Kelly Clarkson - Breakaway

I've been given special instructions for this one. I have to sit in the back of a car on my way home from my friend's house while it's raining and then I have to listen to this album and feel bad. I don't have any way to do that.

What is Kelly Clarkson? Being the first American Idol winner puts her in a position where she's primed to be a golden goose for a bunch of executives. As such her options for artistic integrity are severely limited to the commercially profitable. On Breakaway Clarkson split from the Idol management to craft an album that dated to explore outside the mainstream pop landscape. The results are embarrassing.

Obviously she was never going to make good music. I would be an idiot to try and give an American Idol contestant the benefit of the doubt in regards to their artistic sincerity. Her voice is a hollow void of emotion. The lyrics are paint by number. The music shows the outline of an emotion. Kelly Clarkson is the shadow on the wall of Plato's cave. Her fans incapable of comprehending that this is just a pale imitation of real music.

So I ask again. What is Kelly Clarkson? The answer seems obvious now. Kelly Clarkson is a name that once belonged to a human being and now is the property of record companies. The name is attached to records and the records are expected to sell based on the name. The human being that once shared the name Kelly Clarkson is a shadow. Kelly Clarkson is a music career. Kelly Clarkson is the avatar of the American Idol social experiment. Kelly Clarkson is a cipher. There is no such thing as Kelly Clarkson, there is only the music. But the music is also a shadow. There is nothing here. A shadow cast by a shadow. You cannot find the artistic merit in this music any more than you can get blood from a stone.

[tack-tick]

What I Know About D20’s Fey and Flowers

So I’ve been seeing D20 on trending like every other week and I always check it out because the set in the gifs is pretty

I have never watched this campaign but I figured it might be fun to guess what I think has happened since it seems to have ended

A furry goblin thing FUCKED an elf

The furry goblin thing also FUCKED an owl

The furry goblin is a CHAD

I don’t think there was any actual fighting in this campaign?

Someone ate a letter at one point, dude just burn it

I can tell the tone is Victorian Romance Novel with Courts. Pride and Prejudice Esque I think?

All the talking seems super flowery though. The kind of speeches in old books that really didn’t need that extra paragraph

Someone probably got in a duel for honor then

Also I think the owl and elf are the same person? Maybeeee?

Is there a love triangle? I feel like I saw it somewhere

Imma be honest I mostly saw people hoping the furry goblin and elf would bang which fair

But nothing else about plot points lol

Was this just a Victorian era rom com?

As someone who’s getting into DND and played about three sessions it looks fun and the production value looks bonkers. I’d honestly give to actually play in person with people but online shall do

So cheers to the D20 peeps and that furry goblin goddamn dude you’re not even a twink how’d you become the local sexy man of the campaign

[thewiddershinsme]

Reading The Ballad of Never After (Once Upon a Broken Heart #2) by Stephanie Garber, finished Words of Warning and Part I: A Cruelty of Curses:

-that is indeed quite a lot of cruel curses happening to Apollo. Love spell -> poisoned -> suspended animation -> mirror curse -> curse of the Archer. Not sure how much of his mind is intact at this point, but feeling a bit sorry for the dude (and a bit funny how Jacks excuses all this misfortune by saying how Apollo’s a Northern prince, he’d be disappointed if he was never cursed)

-pretty suspicious how Jacks is so uninterested in who is casting these curses once he got Evangeline to agree to opening the Arch (and I think there are two culprits, mirror curse culprit and Archer curse culprit). My guess is Havelock for mirror curse culprit, he just disappeared, and maybe it was to incentivize her to work harder at undoing the spell. As for Archer curse culprit, that feels Big Bad work right there.

-so I figured out that the wolf doorway was actually the Valory Arch maybe a minute before Evangeline did. I literally said “Oh crap” out loud and nervous giggled, cause I can know that feeling of “oh nonono” while you desperately try to fix the thing you just accidentally broke.

-ugh Luc is back and he’s Lucien. Was it confirmed that this was Jacks/Chaos’s doing? Evangeline suspected it might be, but Jacks seems to lowkey hate Luc and weird he’d want him to get anymore involved so can’t remember if it was confirmed that was them manipulating her again. Luc feels less like a threat and more of a potentially disastrous menace.

-LaLa’s engagement made me feel sad cause you know it is always doomed :(

-don’t worry Evangeline, I was also surprised to discover you are not the one and only key and there have been those before you. I like it, makes sense as some factions are trying to make the prophecy come true, and removes Evangeline’s prophecy invulnerability.

-gotta hand it to Tiberius for sticking to his principles. Willing to give up his own brother whom he loves if it means keeping the rest of the North safe. He honestly would’ve made a good king.

-I read the jumping off the cliff part twice. That whole segment of what Jacks would be willing to do to save Evangeline’s life gahhh perfect. Love “would burn the world for you” characters. Also read the part where Evangeline was infected with vampire venom twice, that was intense and loved Jacks’s reactions, he was not having a good time.

-so this Merrywood Three….Theory time: Jacks is the original Archer. I got the slightest suspicion there was a real-life Archer when Evangeline made a comment about Apollo being the Archer, and Jacks responded quickly “He’s not the Archer, he just has the curse”. So let’s say Jacks is the Archer and killed his Fox-girl, and somehow after that he became a Fate that is cursed to kiss and kill girls until he finds his one true love. His One True Love that ended up being Tella who decided she (understandably) did not want to be the true love of the Prince of Hearts. So some possibilities:

-Jacks’s determination to open the Valory Arch has nothing to do with Tella as I originally thought, but to do with Fox-girl. But I still think time travel is involved somewhere, maybe a way to save Fox-girl?

-it makes Jacks’s sheer refusal to allow Evangeline to be killed by Apollo have an even deeper meaning as he is trying to prevent history repeating itself. Buuuuut…..I do think it kinda taints his nickname for her. The Little Fox nickname is sweet and their thing (she even signed her name that way in the letter to him) and I think it’s a bit ruined if he calls her that not because of her surname, but because he is projecting his first love onto her.

-there might be a reincarnation thing going on where Evangeline is Fox-girl? But reincarnation had never been mentioned so far.

-Slaughterwood is gonna be the house that wanted Fox-girl dead. Also, weren’t one of the Valor kids mentioned to be a shapeshifter? Maybe that one is Fox-girl, and the whole Ballad was the start of the coup that overthrew the Valors.

-after this section I’ve been wanting to listen to The Archer by Taylor Swift. Not my favorite song but can’t deny it fits

[lover-of-mine]

this is like the start to some very good mutual pining fics. why cant you date him???

ASKAOSKOAKS yk, I was thinking that if my life was a tv show the team slowburn angsty friends to lovers is having a great week because of recent developments. But basically, we met almost exactly 12 years ago, we bonded because I had a crush on his best friend at the time, he had a crush on my best friend at the time and they didn't want to date us lol and then we just stuck around. But we kinda cursed ourselves by bonding over wanting other people because there are always other people involved, he's currently in a very messy on/off relationship and they are taking some space to figure shit out, and he lives in a different city, but I live in the same city as his mom, he came to see her, we ended up spending about 10 hours together, things were said, questions were asked, feelings might've been uncovered, because I never truly thought about the possibility of me having feelings for him before Saturday, like I think he's hot, but I never thought beyond the vague awareness that I think he is attractive lol, like seriously, if you asked me last week I would've confidently said it's not like that between us, someone literally asked me on Saturday if I was his gf and I just laughed, but he went back to his city, we see each other once every 2 years at this point, I don't know how he's feeling, so like, I'm not sabotaging our friendship because I'm confused because we kissed at 5 am after a night out lol but realistically, we both had issues with long-distance relationships in the past and that's not something either one of us would be willing to get into even if without the other complications, so I can't date him logistically even if this was a thing that we multually want, which I'm honestly not sure, because I'm pretty sure he's gonna get back together with his ex, so I'm in pretend it never happened mode, repression at it's finest. But things to add to the fanfic plots: all of his exes are me in different fonts, even he can admit that, every time I break up with someone he says and I quote "you need to find someone who sees you like I do", we can't go anywhere together without someone assuming we are a couple and this has been happening the whole time we've known each other, I'm pretty sure his mom and sisters have a bet going on whether we end up together or not because of the way they react to us hanging out, we will constantly spend so long talking about absolutely nothing it was a real problem when we were teenagers because we lived like, 2 blocks away from each other, so we would walk back towards home, sit in this bench that's in the midway from my house and his and then suddenly both our parents were calling because we missed curfew by an hour but we've been sitting somewhere we can see both our houses for like, 3, like that guy cannot get me to shut up lol, we have a pact to get married in 2029 if we fail to find love until then, but we also promised to be each other best woman/man of honor, he's not big on physical touch, he doesn't like people in his space, but I'm a physical touch person, and he always lets me play with his fingers when I'm stressed and that's legit the nicest thing someone constantly does for me because sometimes I don't even notice and the dude is giving me his hand, I have a tendency to surround myself with things his favorite color when I miss him, if I'm around he constantly just looks at me to fact check whatever story he's telling because he thinks I remember more stuff about his life than he does, and I'm typing this out and thinking about the past 12 years for the past week and I'm sitting here like "for the love of god am I in a fucking 500k words slowburn friends to lover fic" I don't know, it's very complicated but here I am. I don't know if you ever watched Love, Rosie, but I feel like what I imagine Rosie felt finding the letter and calling Alex just to find out he's engaged aoskaokaoskaksasss

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

random notes on naddpod c1 ep 1-45

shared here in lieu of chewing my very indifferent friends' ears off irl. For whom it may concern. also why do i keep thinking i could keep these to a single post. this campaign has a hundred episodes.

spoiler warning! you will get no context but still

Scoutmaster Denny *murdered* me. The voice, the whole deal. I started this podcast on a trainride and fully lost it over Denny in public

“Let’s cast waterwalking on the boat!” “…Emily, that’s just a boat.”

Hardwon on the dumb mating call idea: "can't we just break a bunch of sticks or something? why do we have to make it horny?" and Murph losing the fucking plot in the background

DM lightly threatens player’s pet, endangers his marriage, more at 10

JONAH

“The animals are going batshit. Even the bats.”

legit every time they describe someone and then land on "they're just hot" almost nothing they describe works for me, it's kind of hilarious

also a truly staggering percentage of the NPCs are naked

Moonshine is saved by an almost literal Deus Ex Machina as Pawpaw descends from the Heavens carried by a very helpful centaur

-

The reaction to the last remaining dude attacking Beverly in the Ezry lab cracked me up. “We’re trying to watch a cutscene! Read the room!”

-

whenever Emily shows the slightest hint of disappointment or frustration the world will immediately alter just a little to make her feel better (like retroactively making the stairs unsafe because Emily saved a whole spell slot to climb the wall of the tower). This is the cutest shit and also it took them TWELVE episodes to call Murph out on it

(I'm much further into the podcast now and i can't believe none of them have tried to weaponise this blatant weakness even once)

-

A BROOMBA is sweeping the floor

nothing is better than Murph doing Pawpaw but his fucked-up sounding seagull is a close second. Truly capturing the personality of those damn bastards, the man is the king of the garbage critters

Emily feels SO guilty about sending this dumb bird to die

Coming into this with the only prior experience of DnD being Brennan and Aabria is kind of wild. Like D20 campaigns you'll get the big philosphical speeches for the emotional beats and here's Murph with an equally heartfelt "Life just sucks ass, you know?"

Hardwon finding out about his parents is SUCH a good scene

“Are they bioluminescent?” “No.” “Can they be?” “Yeah, okay.” (16/17)

“Get out of town!” “I can’t, I’m a mushroom. I just stay here.”

Emily: “Oh, scrying means spying!” “It doesn’t, but-“ Murph, .2 seconds within Emily getting ‘um actually’-ied on dnd: “It does in this game, wiseass.”

Ol' Cobb’s big day!

When Hardwon goes down and the whole table has to watch Murph fight this intense squirmish against himself. Just a guy rolling dice and talking to himself. God that’s so funny (19/20)

Bev’s big day! Also Bev’s first kiss! (19-20)

-

they’re really going all out for Ol' Cobb. Now he has a tragic lovestory too! (21)

“The High Elves believe that they were banished because they were cousins who wanted to get married. The Crick Elves believe they were third cousins at most. The truth is somewhere in-between.” “Second cousins?” “They were second cousins.”

Not to be cheesy on main but the Crick is such a love letter. Like it’s so obvious how much care and heart went into this almagation of all the silly asides Emily has thrown out

I have one (1) American irl friend and they're from a smalltown in North Carolina so all I'm hearing is people approximating my friend's accent with varying consistency and success

the Crick sounds like paradise and my worst nightmare, simultaneously

having Pawpaw's mother speak and also speak in the most matter-of-fact serious tone (22) is the funniest thing to ever happen. truly inspired.

Hardwon swears fealty to a middle-aged possum? what is happening

Jake v Murph’s ice ban is priceless (23) - “I caught Jake downstairs shovelling ice into his drink out of a bucket with a scoop - you had a scoop! - and he tried to cover it up and hide it!” “It was a joke!” “It sounds like you got caught though! Can you get caught making a joke?” #lifttheiceban

“I’m sure people will get the expedited version of the puzzle solving section-“ “No, give them the nine-hour cut, with just a full hour of us screaming at Murph begging for the answer.” “Join us for our new podcast, Puzzle Dullards.” (23)

Increasingly chaotic openings: “I am furious and I am also Brian Murphy” “If you edit out all my binks, I swear to Melora I’ll… I’m gonna pants you in your sleep!” (24)

Moonshine describing marble as “polite rock”

Emily attempts some straight up gaslighting: “Can I summon Illuminate Mystery?” “…that’s not… that’s not a real spell, you jerk.”

“Murph, if you kill Meemaw regardless of what happens in the fog just because it’s narratively interesting, I will sleep on the couch. For months.” “If Murph sleeps on the couch, is that a Murphy bed?” “No, I’ll sleep on the couch.” “Okay, if Meemaw dies, Emily will be punishing herself.” (25)

Not Murph giving Moonshine crickrot only to be audibly distressed when Emily is sad about it (26)

And then channeling this distress through her fictional pet possum

Pawpaw really is the funniest self-insert character of all time

“Balnor, are you from WWI?” I adore this theory and wish it were canon. But also he talked about fridges a bunch so probably not?

Okay but in all seriousness the whole Marabelle arc is SO GOOD

And Hardwon’s earnest devotion to Mawmaw is actually oddly touching ngl

-

Murph as the voice of Hardwon’s drug addiction is *devious* (30)

That NPC casino employee making zero efforts at the pirate lingo

Siobhan’s character trying to talk to Pawpaw!! Pawpaw being described as Moonshine’s accountant!!

Literally my reaction whenever pawpaw makes an appearance:

Moonshine backing out of that threesome and opting back in like five times and also roping Balnor into it is GOLD

Genuinely the strategy to fake an immediate orgasm and sprint out in embarrassment is actually probably not the worst way to get out of a foursome? Maybe?

"And Siobhan Thompson as Apple Scrumper." "MVP! MVP! MVP!" "Yeah, Apple is the only one conscious right now." "Right now, MVP stands for Most Vertical Person."

Murph treating his Jersey accent like a full-on speech impediment

"Why are you writing that down? I haven't given you guys anything!" "This is Caldwell, out of character, trying to be helpful!" "No, this is Caldwell, out of character, wanting that money for Bev!"

(in)voluntary horse murder

Emily's thornwhip move!! her MIND

-

"So do we go and look for him or do I just cast Skywrite and make the clouds say something threatening to him?" "You're going to threaten him with clouds? Okay."

"LIAR! LIAR BOY! YOU'RE NOT A REAL GREEN TEEN!" "I would never lie! It's true! The stratosphere wouldn't allow for it, I'm sorry!"

Murph making a huge deal about how it would be impossible to see skywriting at night when the way bigger issue is that Moonshine is illiterate. They keep forgetting that and it's funny every time

Moonshine firmly believing that Pawpaw knows how to write and him just writing "MO" every time is my absolute favourite bit I hope it never ends

"Wait a minute, you're in the middle of a swamp and you summoned a big, beefy horse?" "Horses can swim! Horses can swim!" "We've all seen Neverending Story, okay?" [crowd boos] "I will kill your horse! I dare you to boo me!" "Don't boo, he thrives off of it..."

Murph is channeling so much rage at something workout related here. who hurt you

"You all killed my family! My friends!" "You also did that." "You might have killed more of them than we did." "Truly all I did was hold a door shut." This is vicious I forgot how off the walls fucked up the whole Josh thing was

"Shit now I gotta do math in front of people."

Caldwell's silly little poems are actually so fucking impressive tho

"What's the damage on that?" "Rolling still." that is SO ominous

-

Spent this entire fight thinking the Watchman was throwing I beams at the BOB. Deeply confused when Murph said his players would get mad at him if he didn’t count those as spells. They meant “eye beams” as in laser beams from his eyes, and bottom line is English sucks because you can’t communicate anything clearly

-

“Murph, you’re living it up in this city.” “Yeah, you’ve invented a city full of anti-goof robots.” “The anti-goof police is out in full force.”

Murph setting up a super high-stakes social environment where the cast cannot pull their usual shenanigans and then deciding this will also be the arc where all the NPCs relentlessly flirt at Moonshine is honestly hilarious

holy shit no punches are being pulled in first half of the Frostwind arc. yeesh

Their massively lame "Headgum does Red Wedding" bit

Emily's Melora bits finally went too far: "Oh, Melora is masturbating in the corner!" "... Jesus." "Eww! That's the worst one!" "That is some Blumhouse shit, Emily!"

I think this podcast is the first time I've ever heard the word “brazier” actually pronounced out loud, and I hate it! please stop saying it

Murph taking the occasional run up at the fourth wall to go 'hey this is pretty good! who wrote this' always amuses me. i get it, if I could do that with my own writing i would

the 'one big bed' bit warms my heart. They keep trying to make it weird but honestly i still mostly come away missing big sleepovers

"I'm not afraid of the elements! The nature of mushrooms is sort of -" "Moonshine... mushrooms don't grow here." *Moonshine's life flashes before her eyes*

I know Balnor just confirmed he was around post early 80s because he quoted ESB, but the way he reacted to that whole gnarly giant murder and disembowelment is *really* giving WWI vibes

Starting to suspect Murph also just learned how to pronounce brazier. There seem to be a weird amount of them around, nobody has a campfire or an oven or a hearth or a fireplace…

The life and times of Ram Daniel

“I can’t tell you what a bad place this was to do a blood ritual.” Oh what a good and reassuring thing to hear from your DM

Murph starting to rate their little intros and immediately getting "bullied" into changing Emily's grade to an A (43)

“I sing a quick Gashlight Anthem”

Emily rolling for her dream and dreaming about Pawpaw dissolving, “that’s a one roll you monster!”

Murph stop making fantasy meth sound fun challenge

This party being fifty percent functionally illiterate is somehow still funny

-

"Bev crit on finding Werther's one time, and then failed a check to see cannons coming at his house, and his mom, his boyfriend and his grandma almost died."

"Everyone is hot, everyone is horny, welcome to NADDPod" well at least he admits it