#he made an active choice by the end of the season based on his feelings

[chirpsythismorning]

re Lettergate: Lettergate, but it's El's pre-spring break letter laying crumpled somewhere in Mike's room. Reminding him what El said about the painting. Making Mike wonder in a letter of mostly lies was the part about Will also one? Mike's gears spinning-> Why did Will have it at the airport not El? Why did Will bring it with him? Why wait to give it to him if it had been from her all along? What would make Will lie to him like that? Questions for both Mike and to some casual viewers to think about if they hadn't already. We know it doesn't add up and why, but does Mike?

Right?!?!? Like it's such a mind fuck.

I'm still not certain about that scene, and that's probably what I love about it so much.

I could see it being bunch of different scenarios.

Initially when s4 came out, I was very confident Mike didn't see Will crying. I even made this post about it that blew up, bc I could genuinely relate to Will's situation, where you're facing the window in the car, crying as quietly as you can in hopes that no will notice.

But then as time passed, I rewatched the scene more and I started to notice all of Mike's micro-expressions (the first time I watched it, I didn't notice any of them...), with him going from bright and happy upon thinking the painting for Will's crush (according to El), was actually for him, only for Will to say it was commissioned by El and with Mike now looking extremely confused.

I kind of take that first reaction as something the entire fandom overlooks, both ga and bylers. Because it's clear from the start of that moment Mike WANTS the painting to be for him from Will, and he's visibly relieved to find out it is, only to be visibly dejected when he finds out that it's not.

And like you said, then comes the uncertainty for Mike that this could have been just another thing El lied about in her letter, so him assuming Will was painting something for his crush might have not even based in reality in the first place?

Also, why would Will lie to him? Will never lies to him! At least not something as big as this. Which is why fans have acknowledged some of the notes from the score Being Different matching both parts of The First I love You and The First Lie. There is something sort of special about Mike just believing Will, and the importance of that being conveyed through that score basically. I do get that. Then again, Being Different is mostly Will's perspective on the situation at hand (and he's known to be an unreliable narrator). This is him saying I love you to Mike for the first time (veiled) and this is him also lying to him about something big for the first time.

But again, after rewatching that scene god knows how many times now, it's clear based on Mike's emotions throughout that he is having some sort of realization and conundrum.

In fact, he looks most emotional and effected when Will starts describing the situation of their relationship, not him and El's.

When Will starts talking about feeling different and like a mistake and how Mike makes him feel like he's none those things, we know that can't possibly apply to Mike and El's dynamic at all. In fact, we just saw that that was the whole reason for their big fight, with El being convinced Mike just saw her as a monster like everyone else, with him deflecting by saying she was a superhero, not acknowledging the core of the issue at all. This is something him and El never touch on again, face to face. All we have is their fight, them reuniting and saying they missed each other, followed by Mike jumping into saying much of what he said in their fight during his monologue, things that literally upset her last time (denying he never said I love you), mixed with some inspiration from Will, and with a dash of trauma bonding phrasing that would come off as romantic to the majority, but also arguably as platonic and yet just as meaningful. But the pressure of it being romantic is what made it so hard to watch, because we know Mike's heart is conflicted right now.

The issue I have with the interpretation that Mike didn't pick up on Will's feelings at all though, is that there is something so much more impactful than all of that stuff I have just said combined, and it's the whole I didn't say it/You didn't have to line. That was really beautiful exchange that sort of encapsulated their whole relationship, and so having that ring true in the moment when it mattered most? Epic.

It meant everything for Mike to read between the lines in the van scene, as it would have cemented this truth between them that the love they feel for each other doesn't need to be outright said, they just know based on how they make each other feel. Like that's the whole point.

And by the end of that scene, Mike looks like someone who understands.

When Will is emotional looking out the window talking about being a mistake, we get Mike out of focus in the background looking Will up and down very sympathetic. I don't know why he would have such strong indicators of feeling sympathy for an emotional Will, describing things that sound an awful lot like their circumstances, unless he somehow picked up on what Will was saying despite Will not outright saying it?

The way Mike literally looks stunned and amazed when Will starts rambling and saying things that word for word describe him and Will? Why would he react like that if he had absolutely no thoughts in his head?

Gonna be honest and say the most obvious reason he would figure out Will is lying, is that El does not know an iota about DND... Like she doesn't know anything. She would have to have asked Will to dig deep and do something personal for her to give to Mike... And that just feels like it would be a quick obvious indicator for Mike that this has to be how Will feel's if it's coming from his knowledge about all of it? That in and of itself makes me feel like Mike would easily come to that conclusion that this is Will's feelings for him and he goes from being happy to sad to happy again bc he is relieved that the truth is it is for him, even if neither of them can face it rn.

More than anything on the Mike and El front, I think Mike knows that El deserves so much more than being settled for, which is why he's having a hard time playing along for much longer.

I think he would have preferred they stay friends at the end of s3 with them having been that way for the last 3 months before the epilogue, but it's not like Mike could say no thanks? That wasn't an option in any shape/form. After everything El just went through, and everything she's done for him and his friends, how could Mike hear her say I love you, and reject that? The fact that he does care for her very much is what makes it so tragic that he is suffering and not allowing himself to open up about it, bc he feels like if he did, he would be selfish. It would be selfish to break it off when she wants to be together now and is approaching their relationship romantically, only for him to go against that. And so he plays the part, and he does it really unconvincingly...

As he is having these moments in s4, I think it is him sort of accepting something that he has just started to see as inevitable because it's not like he can hide from the truth forever. Unless he wants to be miserable like his parents, and clearly he is feeling the pressure to just go along with it, while also deep down wanting to reject it, and we see how that blows over in the end, with it being way worse than he ever imagined (apocalypse proportions? Like, Jesus Mike).

I will say, that as a boy that is still technically in a relationship with someone, Mike probably felt like he couldn't be like Yes Will, I like you back. The best he could do was give him a look that said that reassuringly and then try to process it. Him facing the truth in that moment was never an option while him and El still hadn't talked things over. Also him facing a crying Will, would have only made him cry himself arguably, meaning his only option was to sit there looking as emotionless as possible (rink-o-mania teas). I think what we have here is honestly a s3 ending parallel right in front of us but without us being able to see Mike's side of it. We've got Will and Mike and even Jonathan. Will cried hoping Jonathan wouldn't notice, but he did. Mike biked home and hugged his mom looking just heartbroken. But imagine those s3 shots with Mike out of focus? You probably wouldn't know for certain if he was sad or not? I honestly feel like if we had seen Mike in the van, he would have looked like he was holding back everything he could, making those parallels overlap perfectly.

Then after the van scene, Mike's reuniting with El again and he's saying I'm here I'm here and you can see it on his face, he's worrying too much about El again. He's worried that he's going to break her if things end romantically between them and as a result she won't be in his life anymore. That's not what he wants at all. But then his eyes search for Will and he's so conflicted, bc he literally just days ago confided in Will that he didn't want to do this anymore. And yet still, he doesn't want to hurt El, nor does he want to hurt Will. *enter explosion in the background behind Mike, followed by Argyle going AW SHIT AW SHIT AW SHIT as Will and El hug and Mike watches....*

Then Surfer Boy happens, and El is reaching to hold his hands and now she's saying she missed him. I imagine he was terrified that because of their fight, she wouldn't want him in her life anymore, and so he was relieved on that front. But then the pressure is back again. He's back to square one, at the end of s3 where he feels like the only way El will ever want him is romantically, and he has to fit that role in order to be in her life. Not only is it something he feels obligated to do to stay connected to El, but also it seems like the most safest option in the world he lives in. It's what is expected from everyone around him. It makes sense. So it doesn't really matter if Mike is having doubts or that now he's hopeful Will feels the same, he starts to second guess himself.

And this then leads to part ?/? of Mike stalling (2 scenes before this, Yuri gets called out for being a coward because of his stalling, all while he hides the truth about the stalling in his coat chest pocket...). Mike is yet again stalling because he can't find it in himself to be honest and tell El he doesn't love her and play along and lie for any longer, and yet he also can't tell the truth because that also terrifies him (which is that he knows he doesn't love El because he has those feelings for Will...)

He stalls until it's not an option anymore, regardless of how he feels about the whole situation. And Will is pushing him and telling him to do it and Mike looks heartbroken. I think in this moment he is feeling doubts about Will's feelings, but also I think he is mostly convinced both El and Will want to be with him, so he is having to choose in this moment to be selfless like Will in order to save El's life, putting what he perceives to be her happiness, above his own (a vicious cycle we have going on here).

Now, a large part of why I subscribe to this, is because of a lot of details that fit, but I have also touched on this next detail here. Basically, I think Mike went from thinking the painting was from Will initially, to thinking it was from El by the end of the season.

I think the scene at the hospital is when this major shift happens. When Lucas says that El saving Max was a miracle, I think this is when Mike starts to now believe that El does love him, and that apparently his words did work, and so therefore the painting had to commissioned by her, right? The scene starts with the painting in the background behind Will, but directly after the miracle drop, Mike quickly shares a look with him, only to slowly, nervously look over at El, confused and then almost sad, with the painting now in the background behind her.

And so now the question becomes, does Mike want to keep up this act (unconvincingly) with El? Or does he want to follow his heart?

You could say that the ending of s4 answers that question...

I think that this means that starting in s5, Mike will definitely still have mixed feelings and emotions about the painting, along with his perception of El and Will's feelings for him.

I think that it makes sense that he would be upset if he's being sort of whipped back and forth about the truth. Lying was like a big deal in s4 with him and El (along with the whole series in general), but I think it's going to be a lot more impactful and intense seeing that confrontation happening with Will and Mike. Not because Mike is going to hate him or be mean over it, but just sort of be more upset than anything else.

Is Mike maybe thinking that this could be a testament to the state of their relationship? That apparently Will's gotten to the point where he lies about something like this? It's going to be a lot to process seeing as he ended s4, for the first time, making an active choice to choose for himself instead of basing that choice on other peoples emotions.

Because apparently that is what happened isn't it? He literally ended s4 thinking the painting was commissioned by El and yet he still chose Will, also while now probably assuming he was wrong about Will's feelings and he doesn't actually feel the same.

Let that sink in.

Mike made that choice for the first time based on his own emotions and not others, even all while assuming it was going to be doomed...

I'm sort of proud honestly, because that's not an easy thing to do.

Being true to yourself and risking hurting and losing others is a scary thing. And it's also why they've got themselves in this situation in the first place, because all of them are sacrificing their own truth, under the assumption that this is what everyone wants.

It's tragically epic.

[sukunasdirtylaugh]

tags: satoru gojo x f!reader, bridgerton!au, reader and gojo are acquaintances, brief mention of satoru's mom passing when he was young. also please don't come at me if I got the garter belt/stocking thing wrong (I did a quick google search) so may not be historically accurate. (this could be a part two to this story that is also bridgerton gojo based).

“my lord,"

"please," he says, "gojo is fine."

"mr. gojo," you say, because frankly gojo feels too personal though it had been the last name his friends, such as lord nanami, have refered to him by. he stands at a respectable distance from you, watching over as you sit on a stone bench around the garden of lord kusakabe's home. your family visit had served to wish him congratulations after recuperating from a terrible cold this past winter. now, lord kusakabe stands as he used to, laughs as he holds a cigar between his lips as guests enjoy tea and play outdoor games.

though a lady like you, having a wardrobe malfunction, thinks it's best to hide behind a maze as you fail to adjust the garter belt that pulls up your warm stockings that keep the cold air from entering your skin. lord gojo stands at a respectable distance, towards your right as he attempts to look over your shoulder. your cling onto your left garter, saving any decency you can maintain.

you had met gojo through the first spring dance of the season, right after you had danced with higuruma. taken aback by his intial comments on how lord higuruma was a terrible choice for a satoru, and by your naivety by speaking your mind (respectably, of course) in front of someone so.... well of. regarded as royalty by even the queen herself. lord gojo did not hold your behavior against you, and to that you were partially thankful of. your honor must remain impeccable as your mother's. everyone has a standard to uphold, no?

what set you apart, nearly three weeks into the season from most, was lady whistledown's kind and praiseful remarks during the ball. it would be later made aware that perhaps you could be the diamond of the season. who knew as meeting the queen was only a week away.

so you had to keep your reputation as clean as possible.

"my lady, are you alright?" your jaw tightened at his words. you guessed perhaps your body tightened as well since the man approaches you carefully, slowly. waiting to see if you put a stop to him.

"yes, quite alright thank you." you laugh nervously, "just... a bit worn out from today's activities." he noticies you hold your leg.

"is your... leg alright?" he asks. you don't know how you do it, but when he suggests to get help, you stop him. it would be far worse for him to get help from others while you're here, with an intimate wardrobe malfunction.

"no! just... leave me be," he eyes you.

"I can assure you, leaving a lady in distress goes against my honor code. tell me, is there anything I can do?"

you hesitantly bite your bottom lip.

"it's... it's a wardrobe, malfunction, my lord." your eyes don't meet his as your cheeks burn under the sun. he looks at your figure, not sensing anything wrong at first glance.

"underneath."

"oh," he remains quiet for several seconds. "may I... may I know what it is?"

"my garter belt."

"what do you need to do?"

"I need to hook the end of the belt to the opening of the stocking, but..." you sigh, "it won't work."

"may I have a glance?" he asks, and you guess he senses the panic in your eyes and silence as he holds his hands up. "I promise I won't do anything, in fact, I'm sure your family might suspect your absence relatively soon if you don't return." but that isn't what worries you.

"I can't have a man that isn't my husband to do something like that," you try your best to not snap, "if anyone were to see or hear about this, my reputation would be ruined."

"not with me it won't." he says, "if you allow me to help, neither one would speak of this, and we can return back to the estate as if nothing happened. I don't wish to ruin the life of someone so...."

"so....?"

"someone honorary," he swallows, "respectable. most women your age enjoy ruining other people's lives, spreading misinformation to cause harm, and do anything as selfish as one can imagine."

"how would you know that?" you question almost bluntly, "you... you don't know me."

"I'm afraid you yourself aren't quite aware of the impression you have made on others, miss." he says as he slowly approaches, getting as far as to his knees to assist. "now please, allow me to assist you."

your lungs paused for what felt like an eternity. you didn't know what was more intimate, either his soft spoken words or his delicate fingers on your belt, causing your heart to beat loudly it would possibly errupt from your chest.

"how do you know how to do this?" you find yourself whispering. the lord looks up at you for what you can finally see up close are mesmerizing blue eyes, bluer than anything you've seen or dreamed of before he says.

"I used to watch my mother dress herself when I was a boy," he clarifies, "she passed before I turned 7."

[seshathawk]

I’d like to address something from season four that I haven’t seen anyone else address yet, though some people have spoken critically of the plots surrounding it.

A quick caveat: this is based off of my own experiences, and is not by any means an attempt to excuse, forgive, or erase any of the many mistakes that season four made. (This is going to be about parenting, for anyone who would like to avoid said topic.)

Hi. I’m the mother to a 4.5 year old child. When I met my husband, we were both working jobs, although he made more than me. I quit my job eventually for reasons that don’t need to be detailed here, and three years later had a baby and ended up being a stay-at-home mom to our child. At the height of the pandemic, I felt this was lucky; we wouldn’t have to scramble to find child care or anything like that.

Two years later, I was absolutely miserable and a completely different person.

Parenthood changes a person. A lot. Like, a lot. You have to sacrifice things, things that used to be important to you, again and again, in order to support your children, and you do it because you love them so much and you want them to succeed.

But something else happens, specifically to women who become parents. Some women intend to go back to work and never do. In some families, it’s cheaper for mom to provide childcare than it is to pay for daycare. Somehow, women end up being the managers of the household and primary caregiver for any/all children, all day, every day. This isn’t to say that these women don’t love their children. But, rather, that women end up carrying the burden of the invisible load for their entire household, including their husbands.

And this also isn’t to say that those husbands aren’t loving, or that they don’t take care of their kids too, or that these women don’t love their husbands. But it’s a huge burden.

Some examples of the invisible load: meal planning, grocery shopping, packing bags for outings or school, managing the family (kids) schedule, arranging for childcare, managing communication with childcare or school, making all appointments for kids or entire family, planning parties, making holiday (Christmas/Easter/4th of July/take your pick) magic, finding activities for kids to do, packing lunches, restocking things like toiletries or pantry staples, cleaning up clutter or getting family/kids to do same, putting away laundry, doing laundry, and…the list goes on. The list is eternal. There is no end to the invisible load.

And when you’re managing all of this and your husband does things like not know if you have a pantry staple at home, isn’t sure where your child’s clean underwear is, or forgets to do something very simple such as grab extra milk, it’s really easy to feel frustrated and resentful.

This is never explicitly stated in The Umbrella Academy, that this is how Lila feels. But it was pretty obvious to me. Her random statements like, “Why are you doing the cake now?” and “I told you to do the pinata two hours ago!” and “This isn’t about you!” felt true to me. Like, OH MY GOD, I do this every day, HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS SO WRONG. And, also, Diego casually says, “Hey, let’s just up and leave just like the old days, the kids will be fine with your family,” without appearing to have ANY IDEA about what goes into planning for kids to stay with relatives for what has to have been at least two days. (Sidebar: I’m not sure if the writers thought that bit through but I definitely read into it that Diego thinks it’ll be easy to slip away while Lila understands the intense logistics of this suggestion.)

So, when Lila said, regarding book club/undercover operations that she just needed something just for herself, I felt that, SO hard. Because you know what happens when you’re a mom? You’re doing the invisible labor and the emotional labor for (in Lila’s case) a family of five. When you finally have some time to yourself, it’s maybe an hour, and your choices are to try to do something relaxing by yourself, spend time with your husband (who you might resent a little), or do something for the house/family. Getting to escape and do something fun, just for you? That’s SO magical.

I do wish we’d seen more of their domestic life together, because I think that could have said a lot about their relationship. But I didn’t think for one second that Lila was unhappy because Diego is never present and never stops complaining, although I’m sure that’s part of it. I saw instantly that she was unhappy because her personhood has been crushed under the weight of motherhood and wifehood and that she was struggling. And that all she wanted—all any of us in similar situations want—is for her husband to understand that and step up, in a way that husbands really don’t understand, because patriarchy.

Does it mean she’d cheat on Diego? Does it mean she’d cheat on him with his brother? Not necessarily. Does it mean she might look for companionship or friendship elsewhere, outside of her family life? Does it mean she might be happy, for a while, living a more adventurous or quiet life, away from the demands of her family? Maybe! Would have been great if the show had explored that a little instead of turning her into part of a love triangle.

But I thought that Lila, burdened with motherhood in a way that Diego cannot ever truly know (because patriarchy), felt true to me and was one of the highlights of season four to me.

[hdusa]

that was my first time watching a lifesteal stream in like 6 months i dont know what is going on in season 5 at all . the red sky was kinda awesome. guns were scary. i hope u kill more people soon ^_^ will be trying 2 tune in more - @renchant

I can try to summarize the entire season in like 3 paragraphs it’s going to be so terrible and long I’m so sorry watch me do it here we go

So basically… lifesteal season 5 begins…. There’s a group called the PMC that consists of MinuteTech LeoWook and ClownPierce and since they’re all big strong men they beat up every other team on the server. Eventually the PrinceZam + Pangi pirate team group up with Gucci Gang (Bacon Parrot Mapicc) to beat them up because they’re really strong and scary. Eventually Clown stops logging on so they feel the need to form a new team called the Phantoms with Vitalasy Jumper and Reddoons and they go around jumping people by staying logged out and then all logging in at the same time after someone’s lured to a location. It got them a PrinceZam kill but they failed against Mapicc and Bacon. Tons of fights happen that are just PMC vs Gucci Gang + Me or LaLa Legion (Spoke Ash Ro Planet) vs Us or whatever. Eventually new members get added, Squiddo Pentar Jepex Wemmbu. There’s a gay wedding between Parrot and Ashswag. Squiddo kills the entire server at a birthday party. I made 200 backup maxed out armor sets. Midmystic makes Pangi and I an awesome pirate base and lastly a chunk of the server lowkey stop logging on.

Because of the void left by the players that are now gone (Parrot, Vitalasy kinda, Reddoons, Poafa, Woogie, Vort3x etc) Mapicc and I have no choice but to find a way to make things awesome again. We build a void trap at spawn and try to lure Minute and Planet over, successfully killing Planet (this is ok because he’s a 20 heart monster this season btw!!) Bacon joins us and decides we need two extra members so we invite Pentar and JumperWho as well. Together we formed a team called The Abyss, a group of players that want to revive the server by destroying it. By making ourselves the big bads of the server every time people logged on their goal was to kill us so that we’d stop making our void hole at spawn bigger. They tried other things like filling the hole with water and obsidian but those all got fixed relatively fast. One of the things they did was find my secret base and steal all 200 of my armor sets. This made me really mad so I destroyed the entire PMC base. After months of constant fighting over this big dumb hole to the void at spawn eventually we come up with an end goal. We were going to turn the entirety of spawn island into void. While working on this insanely large project we get jumped and after like 5 battles where Planet just keeps dying but his teammates live, he bans himself in the void hole. Before doing so he asks what our goal is so I told him activity, and he says “well in that case I guess in a way I’ve beat you”. This was like cold asf so we immediately switch gears deciding we need to make our plan way awesomer and cooler so we add a puzzle for them to solve!! It’s super long and if they couldn’t finish it in 7 days the entirety of spawn would be turned to void. Our team immediately got to work running big bedrock break machine and cleaning out layer after layer. However, as this is all happening Wemmbu Squiddo and 4CVIT reveal that they have a massive canon that will blow up literally EVERYTHING on the server unless we give them 50 hearts. They blows up 4Cs entire beautiful base to show they’re not joking around. Minute and his group are able to find the canon and break it saving the server but for a moment the entire server was united against Wemmbu and his team. The Abyss goal was completed before our final project even began which sucked, but we kept moving forward. To get people interested Minute (temporarily) added Rekrap2 Back To The Server!!!! He was here to help them finish the puzzle and after a week of us racing to void everything while they solve our puzzles, it was over and they had won. The 5 of us now had to jump into the void but that’s when JumperWho revealed she had been a mole the whole time. For 3 months of constant work on the void hole, she was betraying us. Relaying everything to Minute and his team. Filled with rage Mapicc decided to bomb her base but ended up with Clown Leo Minute Jumper and potentially more on him. I came to help but I wasn’t ready to fight Jumper, somebody I’d been allies with for 3 months. I managed to escape but I couldn’t believe it. Afterwards Pentar also left our team leaving just Mapicc Bacon and I.

The next paragraph is basically everything that’s happened since so basically the last month or so. To fix the lack of order on the server players could now run for God! Mapicc, Minute, Squiddo and 4CVIT/Reddoons decided to run. Simultaneously Branzy was now working on a carnival which was really cool! During one of the games I rigged it so that Jumper would die which was silly revenge but then for serious revenge me and Mapicc tried jumping her. Unfortunately she got Minute to save her leading to us losing badly. Afterwards the presidential god stuff starts taking priority and to campaign we ask a bunch of people to vote for us. In the end we came 2nd place, and Pentar as well as Pangi voted against Mapicc. Pentar made sense since he never said he would vote Mapicc, but Pangi had quite literally betrayed all of our trusts by voting for Squiddo. Also Minute came dead last despite helping everyone on the server regear and also saving them from void and the canon which is hilarious. The winners were 4C and Reddoons who instead of actually running themselves chose to give their presidency to CaptainSparklez! It takes him a while to join and during that time period to fill the lack of things going on Mapicc and I start an all out war against Jumper. It started with a silly spar against MinuteTech that ended up turning into a 2v2 against Jumper as well. We got them to run the first time around but the 2nd time we just lost badly. The next day Jumper said she’d deliver stone from Vitalasys old base to Midmystic so we hid in Vitalasys base all day long. It was taking a while so I changed my discord pfp and name to match Mids and got her to log on 😭😭. Once she showed up we killed her. Minute logged on and she ended up coming back but we escaped with me on the brink of death. Because of this they were angry angry at us but we didn’t care we wanted to make them more mad. We started base hunting and found Minutes somewhat old base for the anti abyss people. While searching the base Minute showed up so Mapicc got there and we 2v1d him. During the fight we spawned a wither in the base bombing the area and revealing a third of the 200 armor sets I had stolen from me during the void arc!!! Eventually Jumper showed up so we decided to run away taking our win. But after this we had another fight where they jumped us at my base and we ended up losing after an extremely long and hard fought battle. Before this I forgot to mention but Bacon Mapicc and I brainstormed a team name as well as an end goal, SPOILERS NO LIFESTEAL MEMEBRS READ BEYOND THIS!!!!

STOP IT! DO NOT READ AHEAD LIFESTEAL MEMBERS!!!

Essentially we wanted to reset the server to how it was on day one, breaking apart every team and then resetting every area back to how it looked on day one. With this goal in mind I realized we’d need to actually be able to kill people so I needed to get past being on 9 hearts. 4C/Red made hearts literally uncraftable so I had to kill. This segment is really cool there’s a 10 or 20 minute clip of everything that happens and if I tried to explain it I wouldn’t do it any justice but I’m sure somebody will link it below. Anyway after the awesome clip moment I’m evil now so I try to kill Pangi. I lead him to our old day one base and get him to help me repair it but he is wayyy too sus of me. I eventually muster up the courage to block off the bases exits and ask him over and over why he voted Squiddo, as this was supposed to be revenge for that. However, MinuteTech logs on and arrives at the base leading to them 2v1ing me but I end up escaping. We scream at each other before I leave to set up a new base. Later that night Pentar calls with Mapicc and I to join our team. Thanks to him I’m basically able to fully regear myself after losing almost everything to all the fights we had with Minute and Jumper. I end up on 12 hearts by this point and I think that’s most the shenanigans wrapped up, all that’s left is the captain sparklez stuff which this specific asker has already seen I think. For anyone else I personally believe this should be vod watched!! Up to you of course but I’m sure someone else on here would be willing to summarize that specific event sometime.

I spent an hour writing this on my phone before bed and I can’t believe it took this long. I thought it’d be shorter. Sorry!

[buddierecs]

secret relationship buddie fics

all explicit rating - 18+ only!!!!!! make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

i found love where it wasn't supposed to be (right in front of me) by: finduilas "it’s such a long time coming and still it takes buck by surprise. It takes him by surprise even though he is the one that leans in and finally kisses eddie. his second surprise is that eddie doesn’t push him away, doesn’t even look at him with confusion. or worse, rage. no, eddie kisses him back like buck is a tall drink of water and eddie is severely dehydrated. buck knows the feeling" word count: 13k important tags: anal sex, versatile buddie, getting caught, accidental clothes sharing oh, my dream (never quite as it seems) by: woodchoc_magnum "in which buck and eddie are trying out a friends-with-benefits thing (that's rapidly turning into more) when the world comes crashing down on them. as buck hovers somewhere between life and death, eddie has to deal with their friends, family and the buckley parents." word count: 44k important tags: friends with benefits, whump, season six, sperm donor arc, coma, fluff and smut, bottom!eddie diaz

ours to keep by: brewrosemilk 'buck and eddie pass their single, shared brain-cell back and forth, trying to keep their relationship a secret." word count: 8.9k important tags: blow jobs, porn with feelings, pov alternating, pov outsider, crack treated seriously sideways (incomplete series) by: buddiefanrpnj "what was it buck said to him that night… "you don't need to pretend with me." well, eddie is fucking done pretending. aka eddie makes his choice … this story starts at the end of red flag, 6x9" word count: 325k important tags: pining, love confessions, major character injury, first times, oral sex, rimming, demisexual!eddie diaz my hands are shaking from holding back by: barnesbegin "buck refuses to believe friends look at each other the way he and eddie do. however, eddie is dating ana flores. so buck just gives him space and hopes eddie will come to his senses soon. but after a heated fight between the two, where a confession is unintentionally made, things take a turn." word count: 84k important tags: pining, slow burn, eventual smut, eddie diaz is in denial the kids had sex, chim. by: whiskis "buck and eddie's extra activities got buck's voice all fucked up (pun intended)." word count: 5.3k important tags: oral sex, face-fucking, coming untouched, idiots in love, light dom/sub race to the sun (rest when it's over) by: honestlydarkprincess "buck challenges eddie and eddie takes said challenge. It causes their relationship to be revealed in a rather unique way." word count: 3.5k important tags: come slut!evan buckley, multiple orgasms, manhandling, marking, sir kink, possessive sex, dom!eddie diaz, sub!evan buckley, strength kink loose threads by: daises_and_briars "new to dating and keeping it quiet, buck and eddie get a little carried away on a slower shift at the firehouse. but when the alarm eventually sounds, a spur of the moment mistake leaves them a little mixed up." word count: 3.7k important tags: swapped clothes, blowjobs, pranks a phone call in late december by: brewsrosemilk “i’m so fucking cold without you,” he admits, then - and he’s not only speaking metaphorically; the snow storm is raging outside, screaming around the corners of the house; the room is drafty, and somehow despite the sweat gathering at the base of his spine and his neck - he feels cold. he wants eddie. That’s all he wants. - "me too,” eddie hums, though - immediately soothing the anxiety. “never again. never again, i promise,” he sighs" word count: 4.3k important tags: phone sex, fluff and smut

romance is not dead if you keep it just yours by: weasleyworks "basically eddie and buck are in a relationship but have only told christopher." word count: 3.6k important tags: morning sex, kinda secret relationship, idiots in love your laugh (echoes down the hallway) by princessfbi "the long awaited jeep sex fic" word count: 5.5k important tags jeep (car) sex, semi-public sex, rough sex, blow jobs, praise kink, secret relationship.

and no one knows what goes on behind closed doors by: starlingbite "none of the team knows that after a long shift, when christopher is still at school, eddie follows buck across town to the loft. they don’t know that as soon as the front door is closed behind them eddie pushes buck against it and presses their lips together." word count: 4.6k important tags: plot what plot, anal sex, cock warming, top!eddie diaz, bottom!evan buckley, barebacking

general audience rated secret relationship fics mature rated secret relationship fics

[amuseoffyre]

I got thinking last night about Stede's clothes in S1. I'd written before about his clothing before he runs away to sea, but I've ended up going on an even deeper dive for the whole of the season by contrast to S2.

Before he ran off to see, everything about his outfits was made to make him blend into the background: a green cravat in an identical shade to the plants, the ruffles and lace of his cravat and cuffs matching the tablecloth and curtains, the colours of his suits matched to the furniture and drapes and other surroundings, the pattern of his suit blending into the fabric of the carriage.

The implication being that he was like an accessory in his own life, property for his father to use, a piece of the furniture, an object to be ignored and overlooked.

Based on S1, it made it feel like his clothing choices at sea were him expressing himself for the first time, but on the re-watch, I realised how much that isn't necessarily the case.

Yes, he adores clothes and fashion, but there's something about the aesthetic choices that made me go oooooo. Let's start at the beginning. This could get long :D I'll stick with episodes 1-3 just now, because bad arm makes typing ow.

Episode 1:

First up we have the beloved blue suit, very flashy and frilly and delightful. But he's a man who has run away to sea and the first outfit he puts on to be a sea captain is... Caribbean sea coloured. The extreme white lace cuffs and cravat even resemble seafoam on the shore. Our man dressed up like the sea, once again matching himself to his surroundings. With gold trim, because of course, booty is the aim (😏).

The Battle Jacket. ngl, the framing here makes me gnaw bricks. Look at the folds and ruffles of his cravat matching the drape of the curtains and the folds of the pillows, while the ripply gold edging of the battle jacket matches the ripply gold edging of the painting on the wall and the jacket itself matches the colour of the wall. Once more, blending himself into his surroundings.

Also fun fact: yellow was seen as the colour of cowardice. Stede goes to hide in his room and he puts on his yellow robe. Man is scared and even if he doesn't want to show it, his outfit is showing his true colours.

Bonus shout-out to the fact that he "dresses us up like fancymen" to blend in with the officers from Nigel's crew. Not just fancy-men. He tells Pete that he's a Lord. He's trying to match the aristocratic company, to dodge a bullet. (It doesn't work).

Episode 2.

Having feelings about Stede being in purple/gold the first time we see him hearing about Blackbeard. Especially given purple as the significant colour of love later in the season. (and in the fireworks in 2x06 - purple and gold)

But also, again, with matching the background - the gold of the cravat matching the gold of the lanterns, frame by dark edges, with white light coming out on either side. (the symbolism of Stede as a lantern/lamp/light in the dark again makes me gnaw bricks)

tfw the patterns on your waistcoat are not unlike the seaweed dangling from the hull of your grounded ship.

Also shout-out to the first time we see Stede without his cravat on. There's a whole mess of significance about Stede and neckwear that I'll save for another day.

Episode 3.

We see the return of the battle-jacket in Stede's ornate gold room, with his ornate gold furniture. He even matches his journal to the wall XD

And, of course... the white suit. "A power move - make people feel underdressed and suddenly you're the one in charge" says the man who has never been in charge of anything in his life, including his own crew.

For the first time in his life, he's choosing an outfit to actively stand out because he sees clothing as his weapon. An outfit like this might work to impress in his social circles in Bridgetown, for the sheer expense of something so pristine and intricate, but here? Noooo. He doesn't know his audience. He doesn't know what kind of look would impress them here, especially when we see every other pirate is almost uniformly in shades of washed out colours or browns.

Jackie, on the other hand, dresses to impress this crowd. She stands out and in a way that matters. Blood red as threat, warning and alluring. And the fact that Blackbeard and his entire crew show up entirely in black leather contrasting to Stede's white lace? Extra emphasis.

Episode 4

[raayllum]

Cube Hostage Exchange Theory: Ezran Edition

Cause I've been feeling this one and figured I may as well toss in the newest two cents.

This is something I've talked about before (X, X) but much more briefly, and with the theory still on the table for S6, I figured I'd cover more of my bases.

The usual caveats / disclaimers to get out of the way:

Cube Hostage Exchange Theory (CHET) is a TDP theory dating back from September 2020 (shortly after Through the Moon released) speculating that Rayla would be taken hostage in exchange for Callum freeing Aaravos by handing over the Key of Aaravos. It was based on ideas of 1) the key being important to Aaravos' plans, 2) the irony of Callum literally freeing Rayla while chaining himself further to Aaravos' will, and 3) that Callum would be a pawn in Aaravos' plans (deduced well before S4) due to this thematic ties to freedom.

The biggest assumption the theory made/makes is that the Key of Aaravos is something that Aaravos is actively seeking/wanting, or something he needs; this aspect of the theory is still (technically) pure speculation.

CHET may not happen in S6 due to the fact it beat for beat already basically happened in 5x08, just with Finnegrin swapping in for Aaravos as an instigator. This is partially due to the fact that the irony regarding chains and freedom (Rayla being freed by Callum chaining himself) also came to pass alongside the captive/loved one's life being threatened and Callum subsequently being willing to help said antagonist.

That being said, I still fully think a Variant will happen, if you will, whether that's due to Callum getting in over his head with the coins, or something more directly threatening Rayla.

This theory resides on the (canon) interpretation of Callum being willing to do anything to protect his two most important loved ones (Ezran, Rayla) even if that means helping Aaravos and/or putting the world in danger. This post itself is not going to debate or explain this interpretation, but if you are interested in learning more about it, I'd recommend this meta and this tag.

I still think Callum making a choice that risks subsequent possession / world ending behaviour is more likely to be for Rayla. This is for a few reasons: 1) they still have an ongoing relationship rift/conflict to heal, and this could be a way to do it; 2) we know thanks to 6x01 that Callum and Rayla are heading to the Starscraper alone with Ezran being back in Katolis, so there is just more opportunity; 3) more of the narrative legwork has been done with Rayla specifically, particularly in regards to the possession plotline in particular; 4) Ezran has never represented destruction to or for Callum, but Rayla has more overtly negative associations which would fit; 5) Rayla has had more scenes and lines with said Cube / Key of Aaravos throughout the 4 seasons its been displayed (1x04 multiple times, 1x05, 2x07, 3x08, 4x02, 4x03, 4x07) than Ezran has (noticeably only one in 4x07).

All that being said, let's talk about the way the narrative might work / the evidence we have at present for CHET happening, but Callum dooming the world for his brother instead. Otherwise known as CHET: EE (Ezran edition).

The Necessary Narrative Legwork

As stated, CHET: Ezran Edition would only, to me, have a strong enough narrative purpose to happen IF it served as the basis or conclusion for a reconciliation arc between Callum and Rayla (currently ongoing) or between Callum and Ezran. While the brothers are not currently fighting, that doesn't mean they won't in the future.

Season six might have to squeeze it — it would have to be in the latter half of the season, which might be too delayed for Aaravos' proper release, but who knows? — but it definitely seems like the brothers are hurtling towards some sort of conflict.

However, I think the way the conflict is framed / what it ends up being centred on. For example, if the brothers just fight over whether or not to free Runaan (as there are indications that they might), I don't think that by itself leads to a resolution like CHET: EE. But if the brothers fight over Runaan, and it makes Ezran feel like his brother isn't choosing him, and they part on bad terms... Now we're talking.

Now, S6 could have room for a broyals conflict. They could fit over Runaan, as noted, or even other issues in their relationship. This would lay the groundwork for something like a CHET: EE based reconciliation happening, provided there was conflict to resolve first.

I'd also like more scenes / lines concerning Ezran with the cube. Thus far, Ezran has been there in 3/4 seasons where we've seen the cube (S5 is the only season with zero appearances outside the 5x08 intro), but he's only commented on it in 4x07 with "Callum, put away your cube!" when it's glowing because the moon opal on the Bridge of Darkness.

Episodes such as 1x05 particularly feels like a missed opportunity, perhaps, if this was the direction they were going to take, given that Ezran easily could've stepped in during Callum and Rayla's miniature disagreement over it (the "it's a glow toy" + "this doesn't end well for you" foreshadowing is there in addition to Callum looking at the Star rune) to make a comment about it still being worthwhile / perhaps a fun toy. But if Ezran's hide and seek game motif (more evident when they were searching for the hidden prison) comes into play and is tethered further to the cube's game motif, that's alright by me.

So yeah, two key points I would need to happen could happen, largely:

The brothers having some kind of serious conflict wherein Callum prioritizing Ezran in this way could help reconcile it

Ezran having more screen time with / regarding the Cube and Aaravos in some manner

That's not to say there's no legwork already put in, though, for an EE, which is part of the reason why I'm making this post. So let's talk about the two biggest points in this edition's favour:

The Orphan Queen Connection

Despite not receiving the Key himself (which could be a parallel to the Sunfire siblings regarding Kim'Dael's collar), the EE has a significant point in its favour due to Ezran's associations with the Orphan Queen. He's been directly compared to her both in appearance and in personality, as he shares her ability to Truth Tell in the face of lies, narratively speaking:

I should have seen it before. Ha! Long ago, it was a human who saw through the Fallen Star’s schemes and helped Xadia put an end to them. You look so much like her.

I've written before about the parallels there seems to be when it comes to the Jailer and Callum, two clever human mages, and the Orphan Queen Ezran, two royals of a blood line tethered in some way to truth telling and Aaravos. This parallel connection of the Jailer and the Orphan Queen being involved in imprisoning Aaravos, and Callum and Ezran witnessing / failing to stop if not also being involved in his release would be an ironic layer.

There would be another additional layer if the Orphan Queen's use of the cube was what led to him being sealed away, and now the Key is being used to spare her descendant, his brother's, life three hundred years later.

Thus far we don't know much else about the Orphan Queen besides this, so I could see Ezran's role with the Key being to partially discover what it is or what it might do, and for Callum to figure out further how it works and how to use it, but we'll have to see. I think this piece of evidence would be stronger if both brothers had been very involved and interested with the Key thus far - a true piece of dual heritage for both of them - but given that it's been so much more in Callum's corner and much less in Ezran's, I think this aspect is probably what would need to be developed the most in S6 to work out.

That said, the strongest piece of evidence we have for an EE of CHET is namely the place where we first learn the cube is called the Key of Aaravos at all, which is in...

Harrow's Letter

Harrow's letter exists in story for a few reasons:

To resolve Harrow and Callum's arc with each other, particularly to affirm to Callum that he belonged within his family / as Harrow's son. This is folded into Harrow discussing his sons' bond and what he wants for both of them in addition to point 3 and 4

To largely tie up Callum's grief regarding Harrow, as while we still see bits and pieces of it (you can argue 2x08 and 4x03 touch on it), 2x06 is the last time Callum's specific grief about Harrow is discussed (at least for now)

To complement Viren's narrative of what happened with Harrow's own take on the same events, particularly to push forward and the name the Narrative of Love vs Narrative of Strength dichotomy (which S4 and S5 have spent a lot of time deconstructing further)

To explicitly introduce the concept of the Chains of History and Harrow's own desire for freedom, which is alluded to in early S1 but not fully developed, and therefore pave the way for him to show up in Callum's 2x08 dreams

To give us the info about the Key of Aaravos early enough we could sit with it, and also let the foreboding build

I do think the placement of the information about the Key is interesting, because the way it's presented perhaps fulfil more of our traditional expectations in the fantasy genre. Of course the protagonist happens to stumble across a neat, funky family heirloom with a tease for a cool power-up to come. It is, after all, the first time we hear the name Aaravos.

However, they very quickly (aka like 1.2 episodes later) give us the name of Aaravos, and we immediately know it's nothing good. The more negative associations with the cube are also added to in 2x08 with the dream imagery, which makes a lot more sense now that we know just how deep the ties between Aaravos and dark magic really go.

With this in mind, the most telling lines from the letter for an EE CHET is, I believe, this from Harrow:

But as a father, I have a selfish wish. For you and Ezran to be... free.

Now the letter itself talks about Freedom almost as much as it talks about Love, and indeed, love — specifically a Narrative of Love — is posited as something that can and will free you, in contrast to the Narrative of Strength bound by the chains of history. We also know Startouch stuff is associated with wishes, so that's another point. And Harrow's last words to Callum were "Take care of my brother." From a familial standpoint, there's more than enough permission / merit here to go ahead.

The letter introduces the Key and talks about the brothers. It talks about chains and love and freedom. And these are all things that would be very much literally present in in a Cube Hostage Exchange in which Ezran is the hostage or person the key is being handed over to save.

And while I think it could be a possibility on the table, because Callum absolutely would do this for his brother... I still think if we're gonna get a scenario like this, it's going to be Rayla, or it's going to be no one. And here's why.

The Other Side

You may have noticed throughout this that this edition of the theory depends on even more could haves than traditional CHET already does, and hasn't really talked about Ezran's personality or interplay with sacrifice as a theme. This is because that, without an external conflict pushing things forward, this display of devotion doesn't really affect Ezran much. He knows his brother loves him and has never doubted this; Ezran is very measured about sacrificing himself for what he believes in, but is also always willing to accept help and other people's aid. Ezran is sacrificial, largely adjacent to his crown and his childhood, but his arc itself is centred around concepts of power, duty, and justice over a core theme of sacrifice or even freedom.

Subsequently, Ezran likewise has not been associated heavily with chains, nor is Callum someone who has broken Ezran's cycles or chains, literally or metaphorically. Although Ezran is undeniably tethered to freedom because "a child is freer than a king" and him being briefly (meaningfully) in prison, freeing Ezran has never been a main plot concern Callum or Rayla has had to contend with. The closest they come are the boys working together to free Rayla in 1x04 with Bait, Callum and Rayla working together to get Ez out from the icy water in 1x06, and Soren freeing Ezran from prison (and getting him to his council) in 3x05... and that's about it. Nor is Ezran a big part of Callum's mage arc; they normally discuss things other than magic, Callum rarely uses magic to protect his brother (although S5 definitely had an uptick), and Ezran is pretty separated from notions of magic within Xadia outside of his ability to talk to animals. (It's kind of like how while Callum and Zym have a strong bond, Ezran has a more emphasized one and largely carries the human side of human-dragon reconciliation alongside Soren, whereas their siblings are more elf and magic focused.)

This might shift if/when freeing Harrow from a bird is a possibility, and that's not to say it couldn't be Ezran just on this basis — but that TDP usually prefers to include things at a lower stakes level or even as a joke, and then ramp it up continually until it reaches a breaking point. We can see this even in 6x01 with a scene of Soren leading a blind folded Opeli for comedic effect, only for blindfolds to clearly be important later on in S6 with Callum and the Celestial elves. Similarly, Callum freeing Rayla both literally and metaphorically was set up consistently and periodically throughout the first 4 seasons, to the degree I could predict some of the specifics in 5x08 even years ahead. Then, the show reaffirms this pattern as well as early on in S5 (5x01 in particular), so when it came to a head in 5x08, it felt natural and earned from a thematic standpoint.

Even if S6 went in hard with the Broyals having a fight in the back half, they would still have to drench Ezran in freedom associations to me to effectively get to where I feel like a CHET: EE would totally work. That's not to say there couldn't be over avenues there I'm not seeing now, or a thread I've missed that's been steadily building all along that S6 then makes evident, but this is largely where I've arrived with everything we currently know.

Conclusion

TLDR; Cube Hostage Exchange: Ezran Edition has merit largely due to the Orphan Queen parallel and Harrow's letter, but does not seem to have enough plot buildup at this time to make me lean in that direction. Instead, I still learn towards if there is going to be this scenario or a variant, it will either be for Rayla ( / her parents adjacently) or not at all.

[canonicallyobserving911]

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 19 is now available on AO3.

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Currently 19 chapters completed: 718.8K Words; Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

___________

Here are two emotionally angsty snippets from Chapter 19 of a conversation Buck has with Margaret and Phillip and a separate one Eddie has with Helena and Ramon. 👀

___________

Buck

Buck can tell Margaret’s on the verge of losing it and in a matter of moments, he’s sure he’ll see the remnants of her becoming completely unglued.

In true Phillip fashion, he tries to prevent it from happening when he says, “Yes Evan, please answer your mother.  How do you even know who he is because we never told you about him?”

Buck’s not surprised by his actions at all especially since he witnessed their dynamic the entire time he was growing up in Hershey.

“I know you didn’t but I found him anyway.  I have two dads and he’s one of them!”  He says a little louder than he intends to but he really doesn’t give a rat’s ass if they’re offended by it or not because it had to be said.

How will Buck's conversation with Margaret and Phillip end? 👀

~~~

Eddie

Eddie shakes his head in disbelief but he remains determined to speak his piece.  “Mom, I’m sorry you feel that way and I want you to know that I didn’t want this.  Based on your response, it seems like you believe it is but who wants to go “no contact” with their mother?  Certainly not me and I don’t believe Soph and Adri do either but you’ve left me no choice.  I’m hoping it’ll be temporary but I’ve said what I’m about to say so many times that I sound like a broken record to myself.”

He pauses when he hears her gasp.

After a few seconds he admits, “You don’t listen to me; you disregard everything I say because everything either has to be your way or the highway but unfortunately for you… my life is not yours to control.  I’m a 34-year-old adult man with a 13-year-old son and a fiancé.  Buck and I are getting married but you did nothing but dismiss and disrespect him while you were here.  You treated Chris like he was a baby and I’ve repeatedly reminded you that he’s not 7 years old anymore.”

“You should be trying to find Christopher a mother.”  Helena snaps back.

“Mom!  Whether you believe it or not my son has two dads!  Me and Buck!”

How will Eddie's conversation with Helena and Ramon end? 👀

___________

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Buck and Eddie can see the lights at the end of the tunnels regarding the results of Buck’s Cancer Screening along with everything else they’re dealing with. But are the lights they see exits to the tunnels or are they headlights on different runaway trains that are speeding towards them in an effort to interrupt their forever?

Chapter 15 - Buck and Eddie have known they were exactly who the other one wanted in a partner since they met six years ago when they agreed to have each other’s backs. They’re in a romantic relationship, they’re both preparing to ask the other one to spend forever with them and by the end of the seventh week into their relationship, together they will plan their most important and greatest adventure for their future.

Chapter 16 - As Buck and Eddie begin to prepare for their marriage ceremony that will take place in Rome, Italy in December 2023, they start planning their first international adventure as a romantic couple. Even though Chris is still the only person they’ve told about their relationship, several people who know them have already witnessed the love they share and as the days continue, others will witness it too.

Chapter 17 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to departing Los Angeles for their international adventure, a moment in time will remind them; life is fragile, tomorrow isn’t promised and every second of everyday should be cherished because everything can change in an instant. The result of that realization will cause them to hold onto each other even more.

Chapter 18 - As Buck, Eddie and Chris prepare for family gatherings before and during the Thanksgiving holiday, the “Santa Ana Winds” start to blow and all sorts of expected and unexpected familial drama ensues.

Chapter 19 - As Buck and Eddie get closer to their wedding day, the universe begins to align everything so that some of their parent and children's relationships are strengthened while others come to an abrupt end.

Chapter 20 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-19 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[lets-try-some-writing]

It's that year of time, so Imagene Optimus rolling into base light up like a freaking chirstmas tree after falling asleep at a truck stop or something.

How he suppose to transform with all theses lights going all over his frame???

I didn't know that people randomly decorated each other's trucks, but I can still see this happening. Prime is such a workaholic, he likely would just straight up pass out at a truck stop after a particularly draining patrol. Hopefully some Christmas cheer can lighten him up a bit!

🎵Oh Christmas Prime, Oh Christmas Prime🎵

The Autobots have known about the holiday called Christmas for quite some time. However they have never had an reason to celebrate it... that is until the children came into their lives and Optimus ended up rolling into base far more "cheery" than expected.

He had accidentally fallen into recharge while undercover at a truck stop looking for Decepticon activity. It had been somewhat late at night when he woke again and felt many very drunk looking human males climbing all over him putting... some sort of wiring on him?

Not wanting to scare the humans or blow his cover, Optimus remained still, watching and waiting to see just what in the pits they were doing. Eventually the human males hopped off and promptly passed out on the sidewalk, completely intoxicated. Optimus could feel the wiring they put on him, but as there was little he could do about it in the middle of the open, he opted to return to base. However as soon as he hit the road, Optimus realized just what the wiring was.

Lights. He was positively covered in multicolored lights, all of which were glowing, powered by a battery on Optimus's trailer.

When he arrived at base the very first thing he was greeted with was uproarious laughter from Miko, Bulkhead, and Wheeljack. The rest of the team were more confused than anything else as the lights were something they had learned were usually only found on houses or trees during the Christmas season. Ratchet tried to untangle the mess of lights, but the humans were rather good about wrapping it around ever cog and crevasse in Optimus's frame. Bumblebee and Smokescreen tried cutting off some of the lights with their blades, but there were simply too many lights to effectively remove them. Not knowing what else to do, Optimus decided to attempt to transform and maybe tear the lights off.

It was a bad idea.

The children fell to the floor clutching their stomachs in laughter as Optimus managed to transform and promptly tangle himself up in all the tights even more than before. Stuck looking like a contortionist on the ground with lights woven in-between his limbs, plating, and even his tires, Optimus could do nothing unless he wanted to risk harming his sensitive inner wiring.

The team tried, they really did try to get all the lights off him. But for all their efforts they were simply too large to get all the tiny little lights out of Optimus's frame. And so until a better solution was devised, Optimus was stuck looking like a glowstick of red, green, and gold. The children of course, capitalized on Optimus's predicament and decided that making him into a proper Christmas tree was the only correct choice of action.

They requisitioned Bulkhead and Ultra Magnus and had them move Optimus up against the wall so that he wouldn't be as uncomfortable in his pretzel like position. They then started methodically putting little Christmas ornaments all over his frame. Miko made a makeshift wreath and put it around him neck, Jack covered him in ribbons, and Rafael put a golden star on Optimus's helm.

It didn't end there. Optimus soon had his plating painted to look more festive, snowflakes, glitter, and other Christmas related things covering every visible part of his armor. Miko also put a little Santa hat on his final, much to Optimus's agitation.

Optimus was not fond of being made into a living lightshow, but he relented and allowed the children to do as they wished since there was nothing better for him to do anyway. The kids had a blast dressing him up and the team were a bit distracted watching Optimus's Christmas transformation to work on a way to get the lights off.

After a while they got Fowler to get a team of experts in to get all the lights off, but not before the children got a picture or two with the visibly unhappy Prime.

Extra

Optimus: I am not doing this again

The kids: Please! Just this once!

Optimus: ...Fine, just this once

The kids: Smile~

Optimus:

[cup-of-hot-worm-milk]

HEARTBREAK HIGH SEASON 2 REVIEW

Likes, dislikes, and some general thoughts.

TL;DR spoiler free review: I give this season a 6.5/10. It’s not bad but compared to the previous season, it certainly felt like a downgrade. Some of the editing choices felt poor, a few characters that had felt layered and realistic had lost their substance,  a couple of interesting plot beats and character arcs were either rushed or solved with very little satisfaction and pay off, and I can’t help but feel a lot of the drama had become far too unrealistic by the end of the season. I had some fun watching the teenage hijinks, and there are stand out scenes/storylines that had me invested from start to finish, but overall I can’t say that this season lived up to its predecessor or my expectations.

Longer rant under the cut! SPOILERS AHEAD!

I’ll start with what I liked and enjoyed (in no particular order):

Cash owns my heart now and forever. Season one had already solidified him as my favourite character, and watching him go through his asexual journey, trying to navigate his relationship with Darren while setting boundaries was… Ugh, so fucking good. I’ve had my own share of relationship anxiety, fearing that because I had no interest in sexual activities that I would be hurting my future partner. Dusty’s whole talk with Cash felt so reminiscent of things people would say to me when I tried to talk to them about my own sexuality. I was so ecstatic when Cash told him to fuck off, because no, asexuals are not robbing their partners of anything. Our sexuality and boundaries in relationships are not problematic or abusive; no person should ever feel like their worth in a relationship is based on whether or not they have sex with their partner. Anyone who says otherwise can fuck right off. I was crying during Cash’s talk with his Nan. 10/10 best storyline.

Quinni not masking was so cathartic. Neurotypicals really don’t understand the stress and mental gymnastics we have to go through every fucking day just so we fit in. It’s so fucking hard and watching her be herself fully was just amazing. Slay honestly.

BI MALAKAI BI MALAKAI BI MALAKAI

All of the Australian pop culture references. So good. Chinese succulent meal. The reference to Scomo shitting himself at the McDonalds. Cash not registering to vote and his friends getting mad at him even though our voting is so shit and never taken seriously (I along with several people I know have written shit on our ballots and have never gotten in trouble ever). THE NUTBUSH. Woodsy’s little jab at Pavlova being from Aotearoa (New Zealand) and not Australia. Ugh, so good. Finally, references I understand /hj.

Amerie and Harper being best friends… Their protectiveness for each other… My heart.

The class camp made me so nostalgic. Can’t speak for every Aussie, but my camp did have the boys sneaking in beer. Although, we all got too scared so we all just had a sip before pouring it all out before we could get caught. We didn’t even get buzzed, lol. Also, the class getting high on shrooms together, oml. 

Malakai and Amerie… Ugh, those two… So messy and complicated and I love them.

Props to HBH finally making an authentic (albeit toxic) love triangle. Only took a while but we got one.

Woodsy helping Harper with driving lessons… My heart.

Quinni being so hyperfixated that she survived her snakebite. She’s just like me fr. I also loved the editing changing when it was her perspective. This is her world and we’re just living in it.

Idk his name but whoever played Chook was genuinely terrifying. 10/10, I wanted to smash his face in every time he came on screen. Truly phenomenal acting.

Actually, I’ll give a round of applause to the entire cast. All of them did stella jobs.

And now… the dislikes (again, no particular order):

Spider’s arc. I know some people like him, but as someone who went to school with, and got bullied by dickheads like him, I could not get behind his whole redemption storyline. I really didn’t like how they blamed his misogyny and arrogance on his toxic mother - it felt like they were saying that men are only sexist assholes because feminists obsess over profiling them all as rapists and abusers which is so fucked on so many levels. It just felt like they were given excuses for his behaviour and how it isn’t really his fault, it’s because of his mothers abuse and I am so fucking over that theme. Abuse does not justify shitty behaviours from ANYONE. It can apply context, sure, but I am not going to excuse someone for being a fuckwit just because they have a shitty homelife. I was abused! I had hurt people around me to cope! That doesn’t make it okay! 

Also… People like Spider are more likely to be misogynistic because of a sexist environment - not because of crazed misandrists believing all men are rapists. I think it would've been much more believable if instead, Spider hadn’t had a father or a close male role model to grow up with and became very insecure about his perception of masculinity and manliness, so he used society and social media as learning tools to form his personality and unfortunately internalised a lot of misogyny.

The conclusion of Spider’s redemption also felt way too rushed. He only stops joining Voss because the man slipped up while ranting and because he got slapped in the face. In season one, it really looked like they were going to explore how Spider’s insecurities around vulnerability and masculinity made him put up a front to shield himself. During his relationship with Missy, some points almost felt like they were going to full dive into exploring it but then they backed out, or they wouldn’t let the scenes room to breathe before rushing into the solution. I would’ve liked it more if Spider had time to really grapple with his worldviews and how hurtful he was being, and working on distancing himself from sexist ideals. It would’ve felt a lot more authentic imo.

And I really was not on board with Missy x Spider. I don’t know, it didn’t feel like an authentic attraction, just more like the writers somehow needed someone to jumpstart Spider’s redemption journey while also providing a convenient romantic love interest. Maybe it could have worked if they two were given more time to develop an understanding companionship and Missy wasn’t into him while he was still a fucking dickhead? Maybe they could’ve had the whole rival's sexual tension thing work if it was given way more focus instead of just “Boy see Girl doing something sexy and fall in love”? I don’t know, romance and sexual interest isn’t really my expertise, so maybe it’s just a me thing.

Rowan’s whole character was a huge miss for me, holy shit. It’s 2024, STOP MAKING MENTAL ILLNESS A FUCKING VILLAINOUS TRAIT. I don’t even know what the fuck his mental illness was supposed to be. I work in youth counseling and psychology, and none of his symptoms feel authentic. Was it psychosis?? Was he supposed to have borderline personality disorder??? Untreated PTSD with severe hallucination and dissociation symptoms??? Type 1 bipolar going through a severe mania episode?? FUCKING WHAT DID HE EVEN HAVE??? For a show that handled autism so beautifully in these seasons, they dropped the ball so horribly with Rowan. Bad character, bad execution, bad storyline, bad everything. Do your fucking research on mental disorders instead of just writing “obsessive and crazy” hbh writers, fucking hell.

Also, why did he need to have this whole dumb past connection with Amerie? Why did Amerie suddenly have a backstory of being a major cunt and bully? Why was none of her shitty behaviour talked about in season one? You’d think when her classmates were ostracizing her for the sex wall and getting everyone involuntarily sent to SLT’s, they would’ve brought up this shit. Spider and Harper had their personal reasons to dislike her but no one else brought up anything. Why not just have it that in the earlier episodes, Bird Psycho was spreading baseless rumours and misinformation? Then have people divided on whether or not they would believe Amerie when she went to disprove them? You can even have others making shit up to add to the situation for more drama.

Sasha and Zoe… Oof, bad execution all around for those two.

Sasha… Oof. Thought her storyline was going to deal with her hypocrisy around activism and being a sjw invested in identity politics. Maybe some exploration on how applying moralism to activism is never a good thing EVER and that you shouldn’t care about oppression just because it makes you look like a better person - you should care about it because oppression is fucking disgusting and needs to be eradicated. Should’ve known they would’ve just made her into a bad joke. Pouring one out for the missed opportunity.

I really thought that Zoe’s character was going to explore sexual insecurities and how everyone has a different approach to sex. Examining the difference between sexual pleasure and sexual intimacy. Maybe even some discussion on how it’s okay to have sex simply just to explore your own preferences and likes, and how no one - especially women  - should ever be slut-shamed for liking sex. But nope, she was a really bad celibacy joke and a plot point for Darren. Yikes.

Speaking of Darren, my fashionable child, look how they massacred you. What was their whole deal with Quinni this season? Did they suddenly forget about her autism? Did they suddenly stop caring about her difficulties with masking? Season 1 Darren “You’re my too much” would NEVER have fucking told Quinni that the world couldn’t play be her rules. Season 1 Quinni panicking in the bathroom at a party? Oh, no, Amerie don’t touch her, that’s not how we help Quinni. We help Quinni by providing a quiet and safe space and reminding her that she is in charge of what we do next. Season 1 Quinni becoming non-verbal due to a meltdown because Sasha was being bigoted? Nope, Sasha you don’t get to talk to Quinni, no one forces Quinni to talk, she will do it when she is ready. Wtf happened Darren? It really just felt like the writers were trying to make drama between them both and decided to butcher Darren’s character to do so. Just… oof. Very bad.

Harper’s trauma being forgotten about or developed after two episodes… What. Nothing about her relationship with her dad, nothing about her relationship with using sex as a coping mechanic, nothing about her PTSD, absolutely fucking NOTHING. Why? She just felt like she was there for other characters to develop off of.

Also, Ant and Harper felt really rushed. I would’ve liked it way more if Ant actually went and befriended some girls before he got into a relationship with Harper, or even if the both of them became friends before they developed a romantic relationship but they really weren’t given room to breathe.

Also also, Ant accomplished nothing?? I don’t remember one significant thing he did this season that gave more insight into his character or that wasn’t just to uplift other character’s developments. It sucks because last season alluded to some religious trauma that I thought we were going to get to explore more. He needs so much more substance than just “haha, funny guy” imo.

Missy and Malakai deserved more to their stories than just relationship drama. Where was their Indigenous culture? Where was Malakai’s ‘gone my country’ story element that helped him last season? We rarely ever get Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander actors able to show their culture even in Australian media, so last season when they brought it up I was so happy but now… No mention of it? Nothing? I loved their friendship and their scenes together but God, I wish they happened more outside of their romantic relationships.

Amerie’s pregnancy storyline felt super rushed. Really wish it had more time to breathe, and to stress the importance of contraception and abortion rights. It all began and ended within one episode… Really felt like it deserved just a little bit more time, y’know? Especially in this day and age. It kind of just felt like last minute drama. Maybe more will come out of it because Amerie told Quinni? I hope the fuck not though because I really do not want Quinni’s character slaughtered.

Cash… Showing Chook… Where he lived… Cash is not fucking stupid. What the fuck was that. Making drama for the sake of elevating the story I guess.

Harper’s and Amerie’s dumb fight in the last episode that was really there so Rowan could have a mental breakdown. Yikes.

Wasn’t a big fan of some of the music choices. Few great songs, few iconic songs (Untouched by the Veronicas my beloved), but overall some pretty dodgy choices. I like BLACKPINK, don’t get me wrong, but they’re not that popular in Australia? And The Cranberries are amazing but again, not really an Australian favourite? Idk, just felt like they were picking from the Top 500 Charts.

Okay, the whole fire thing was really fucking stupid. In 2019-2020, NSW had massive out-of-control bushfires that ravaged the country. We have incredibly intense fire-safety because out country is so fucking flammable. Our sprinklers don’t run on electricity - the heat melts the protective plug on the sprinkler, and then water is released from where it’s stored in the pipes. We have fire blankets and extinguishers. The school would’ve been doused. And by the way, there is no such thing as only two teachers chaperoning formal. Not for 25< kids. And the cohort teachers would’ve been invited to go anyways?? And if a crazed man with fire did appear out on the oval, the students would’ve legally had to evacuate to another safe place. Cops and the firefighters would’ve been called immediately. All of the last episode was just such unbelievable bullshit, oml.

“Oh but the school is really sketchy” Idgaf, that whole fire thing was so stupid.

The afl over nrl holy shit. Like, as a queenslander, that shit really fucking hurt to see, I am so sorry sydney goers.

Alright some general thoughts:

Much of the drama in this season just didn’t feel authentic. Most characters were forced to make stupid or unrealistic choices so that drama could happen rather than just allowing the plot to naturally allow for intriguing stories to unfold. I felt like this season was forcing everyone to be involved in something tremendous at every single point, only then to become overwhelmed with how to finish or solve the issues so it was quickly given a bandaid or ignored in favour of moving onto something else.

The first season had the main issues of separating Amerie from her classmates, of people trying to navigate relationships with all the messiness of being a teenager, and of dealing with things that you don’t know how to solve. Characters were given time to be emotional, to make mistakes but not be villainized for them. Scenes and problems were given room to breathe, there was time for all of the story beats to develop and come together.

This season felt more akin to something I’d see in Riverdale or Pretty Little Liars. Over dramatised problems and a mystery that involved pretty shitty characterisation to pull off.

I still like Heartbreak High, and if there is a third season, I’ll definitely give it a watch, but overall, I’m not very enthusiastic about season 2.

One other thing is more related to the backlash I’ve seen from two of the main characters, Malakai and Missy. Some people are infuriated that these two bisexuals have ended the season in a straight-passing relationship and… Okay. I’m not going to sugarcoat any of this; stop being biphobic cunts. You complaining about these two characters ending up with an opposite-sex partner is biphobic. Bisexuals aren’t limited to only ever being in same-sex relationships, fuck off.

Okay, now I’m done.

[gh-0-stcup]

So I've got a tinhat headcanon for Chuck, based on just what I've heard about the last couple seasons.

Chuck's depiction in S11 was legit and truer to the sort of God he was for most of time. He was genuinely on the Winchester's side, despite needing to be distant.

S15 is the boys facing God's wrath. Chuck was fucking with the guys because he got tired of their bullshit. The "I've been controlling every single thing about your life from day 1" and "it's all just literally a show for my personal entertainment" was a lie constructed to really hurt them.

The last time Chuck came down and got involved, he explained very clearly exactly why he pulled away from the world. He wanted a world that could function independently. He wanted his creations to evolve and flourish. In his eyes, trying to fix everything for everyone was preventing this from happening. You can't learn from your mistakes without experiencing consequences.

From this and his conversation with Metatron about why humanity is so wonderful, we can gather Chuck's ultimate goal/desire was growth. The world is not perfect because it was designed to be perfected.

Even though Chuck has grown a bit jaded, he's sentimental towards the Winchester brothers. They fuck up a whole lot, but they always try their hardest to fix it and often succeed. Even their mistakes are generally made out of love or a desire to do good. They remain loyal and devoted to their family and overcome familial drama that even Chuck has failed to sort out.

Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny and God himself, they made their own choice. They chose family. And well...isn't that kinda the whole point?

Chuck was pleased with the boys at the end of this, despite it going against the "planned ending". Castiel, for his part in defying """God's plan""", was ressurected personally by Chuck (apparently more times than he can count).

Chuck gives more support to the boys than any other piece of his creation. He has faith in them, even when they don't have faith in themselves. He makes paths for their survival, stacks the cards in their favour, and directly saves their lives twice.

He does what he can so that they have the tools necessary to continue growing and saving his creation. He's the cosmic cheerleader in the background of their lives.

Another important thing to note about his conversation with Metatron - Chuck likes being Chuck. Prefers it, even. He enjoys being a mediocre writer and dating and having a blog. He wants to enjoy his work. He wants to be a part of his creation, not just its overlord in the clouds.

In S11, Chuck makes the effort to personally explain some of this to Dean. In particular, Chuck's policy on not interfering with problems his creations have the capacity to solve - even if that means people die or get hurt or the world ends.

With Amara we get a little peek into why the world isn't a paradise - the imperfections are part of what makes it beautiful. You can't have freedom without things getting a bit fucked up.

But after his feud with Amara is concluded, are the boys satisfied? Of course not! Any conversation about why Chuck can't be more involved is tossed out the window. And there's zero gratitude for anything Chuck has done for them ever, despite him giving them more than he's given anyone in millenia. Chuck nearly sacrificed his own life for the world, for the boys. He allowed their mother to be ressurected as a reward for their good work.

And what does Chuck get? Dean accusing him of actively causing every bad thing that's ever happened to them, despite most of it being the result of their own choices, and demanding Chuck ressurect everybody.

Now it's completely understandable and valid for Dean to feel this way and his prayer is fucking heartbreaking. But just imagine being Chuck. How irritating would that be?

So, Chuck shows the brothers what the God they imagine him to be would look like. A world centered around them with a sadistic overlord who uses them for entertainment. He takes away the meaning of their choices, their skills, and their victories. He pokes and prods and psychologically tortures them until he's finally (finally) overthrown.

The result is the boys get what they want. A God they chose and raised up themselves. A God who immediately comes to the exact same conclusion Chuck had - it's bad for God to interfere with people's lives. But by this point, it's seen as a good thing.

Their lives continue as normal. They still hunt, they still have to mourn the loss of their loved ones. The only thing that really changes from how things were under Chuck? Dean dies. The ending is bleak and pretty fucking depressing for the boys, considering the magnitude of their final victory.

And what is Chuck's ending? He has to actually be Chuck. A part of his creation, rather than above it. No longer will he hear the pleas and cries and condemnations of his creations. No longer will he be blamed for their bad choices. No longer will he be asked for help with things they could (and should) do on their own. He'll live out his days a mediocre writer who blogs about cats and then he'll die.

Chuck just happens to get exactly what he wanted in S11 and the boys learned the lesson he tried to impart back then in the process.

[myloveforhergoeson]

what made roxy fall for james?

hello!! tysm for the ask, i've got a very long laundry list for you :)

(and btw im still thinking about the mickames confession, it had me shaking and crying and cheering and sobbing with how masterfully it was done! <3)

as we all know. i have written a lot. and i tend to favor more subtle forms of care here and there throughout a very very long period of time. rames wasn't love at first sight; these two idiots had no idea what their friendship would evolve into, it just kind of... happened over the course of spending time with each other!

for roxy, based on information presented to her by logan about james' dating past in Minnesota when they first meet, she either doesn't recognize his attempts at flirting or brushes them off as 'oh, he's just like this.' pretty standard pretty boy stuff lol. it isn't until she gets her heart broken on the night of the school dance she notices that james actually has stake in her happiness (he did far before this, of course, but this is the first time she truly takes note of it). he stays away from the action to make sure she's okay, gives her time and space to talk through her break up, and eventually, when she asks, he takes her to the dance to ensure the entire night isn't a bust. while she doesn't realize this, this event is the catalyst for her realizing she might like him a bit more than friends :)

her thoughts are more like 'wow! james is actually really sweet, that was nice of him to stand up to my ex, come talk to me and watch me write a new song, and take me to the dance! what a good friend!' girl...

over the next few chapters she finds herself in more situations where james is overtly showing her how much he cares; cleaning her wounds after she's attacked by a cat, comforting her after their first music video disaster, etc, etc, all culminating into big time rush and their assistant being sent home to Minnesota at the end of the first season!

at this point she is still good friends-ing him in her head, but, they are the only two of their friends who actively work to get back to LA and find themselves in a record deal with hawk records. it's now, for the first time, roxy truly takes note of how hard james is willing to work to reach his goals. (not that she didn't at rocque records, but i think solo v band dedication is different) she finds his dedication and drive more than inspiring, and recognizes his efforts to get back to Hollywood... all while insisting to their new record label that he only flies back out there if she comes with him.

to james' credit, this was mainly a career move considering she's written almost all the btr songs, but of course, he has liked her for months at this point and also can't stand the thought of being across the entire country from her. he takes care of her on the flight over (my poor always airsick queen...) comforts her on their first night alone in their new apartment when she confesses that being there without kendall carlos and logan feels wrong

so now, she's able to see his hard work first hand, he isn't having to share his journey with his friends so he's working so much harder than he did in btr, and she takes note of his passion for what he does and finds that incredibly inspiring. but what she finds she likes even more, is his choice to ultimately return to big time rush even when hawk was willing to give him a solo three record deal.

after a steamy little moment in an elevator, she realizes she wishes james would have kissed her, sees him finally reconnect with his friends after days of being away from each other, has a dramatic flashback of all the good times they've had together, and realizes, at long last, she has a crush on him which only grows deeper and deeper until they finally get together

and, even with all this, i also don't want to discount physical attraction, especially with teenagers lol. she thinks he's super hot !

so yeah, lots of little things over a long period of time. mostly that he's actually quite caring when it comes to not only her, but their friends, he's one of the most dedicated people she's ever meet and they both have a unique shared tenacity for reaching their dreams, and she loves the way he makes her feel strong and confident - like she can do anything she sets her mind to!

truly i believe that tasw loses a lot of this explanation in real time because roxy is a little dumb (affectionately), so i've been trying to work on that these last few chapters!

again, tysm for the ask! i love yapping about my little guys sooo much and getting to correct areas of my story i feel i haven't done justice to :)

from the mickames confession, i've got a pretty good idea about james and mickey and their feelings towards each other, and i'm so excited to see the future of their relationship. spoiler-free butttt anything you're looking forward to writing now that they've confessed??!

everyone else - favorite rames moment?? tell me in my inbox for some bts knowledge lol

[maya-matlin]

Name a show (or two or three!) that you once loved but now kind of can't stand? (Sadly, Gilmore Girls tops that list for me---please don't hate me!)

On a brighter note, which 1-2 shows did you once dislike but now love?

Name 1-2 ships that you once loved but grew to dislike

Name 1-2 ships that you once disliked but now love :)

Shows I once loved but now can't stand: (I promise I don't hate you!)

1.) Riverdale obviously tops the list. I genuinely think the first season was good and still enjoyed parts of seasons 2 and 3, but at a certain point the writers' resentment of the fans and careless writing was practically slapping me in the face. It wasn't just that Betty and Jughead were broken up, though that didn't help. It was as though no one, the creator of the show included, was aware of what made the show popular in the first place. The entirety of the time jump years were insulting, with the last two seasons being particularly bad. Rather than owning up to their failure, they literally switched up the genre, blew up the original universe, and sent the "characters" back in time. It's going to be a very long time before I can think too hard about Riverdale without feeling the bile coming up in my throat.

2.) 13 Reasons Why. I still think the first two seasons are overall pretty good in spite of some questionable choices and the disturbing need to be so graphic in the name of getting their points across. But by the end, it went from being a show about a group of kids brought together by the same shared experience, the suicide of Hannah Baker, to a show that attempted to humanize rapists.

3.) Gossip Girl lost me by the end. I feel like with time, so much of the joy was drained from the show. It was replaced by the inevitability that the elite would always be on top and that the only way to earn anyone's respect is to throw away your morality. And even then, this only works out if you're a man. In the case of someone like Jenny Humphrey, you end up being banished forever for getting taken advantage of by the town serial rapist. And the sole remaining bright spot of the show, the love story between Dan and Blair, was trashed to go back to the original couples.

Shows that I once disliked but now love:

1.) This isn't totally accurate, but I remember thinking that Friends was so overrated based on seeing only a handful of episodes. At the time, it was everywhere. There were board games, best of DVD's, card games, t-shirts, soundtracks, etc. I just didn't get the appeal. Now, I totally do. While I agree that aspects of the show didn't age perfectly and I actively dislike one of the main two ships, Ross/Rachel, Friends is now one of my comfort shows and one of my all time favorites.

Honestly, that's about it. I can't think of another show.

Couples that I once loved but grew to dislike:

1.) Chuck and Blair (Gossip Girl). When I first watched the show as a teenager, these two were my favorite couple. At least at first. Now, I genuinely don't know what I saw in them. I mainly enjoyed the chemistry and the back and forth during the first season with Chuck pining and Blair being a first choice. By the second season, I was already over the mind games. Then after that, all hell broke loose.

2.) Johnny and Alli. I feel like I've gone through different phases with these two, each one of them ending with the realization that actually, their relationship was even more horrifying that I'd realized. In my defense, I was literally Alli's age during season 8. I liked seeing the smart, rebellious girl pursuing and trying to tame the unattainable, secretly smart, bad boy. I liked seeing Johnny's softness around Alli even though the last thing he wanted to do was admit he could have real feelings for someone so much younger. But later, I obviously realized what a massive asshole Johnny was. Having genuine feelings and viewing Alli as "different" than other girls meant absolutely nothing considering so many of his interactions with Alli came across as emotionally abusive, culminating with him sharing pictures of her 14/15 year old naked body with his equally older friend. Johnny didn't want to show any weakness or vulnerability, and he took all of his hang ups out on Alli. Sickening.

Couples that I once disliked but now love:

1.) Sav and Holly J. The first time I watched season 10, I was mad about their relationship. At the time, I was much more into Sav/Anya and Declan/Holly J. I couldn't get past the idea of the two characters with their first loves, particularly Anya being betrayed by her best friend and her ex-boyfriend, even though Anya herself was never that bothered by it. But through multiple rewatches, they've become one of my favorite couples on the show. They were so sweet and healthy. The fact their previous relationships were treated as something ultra serious that just HAD to work out makes Holly J and Sav basically just feeling things out with each other that much more refreshing.

2.) Mia and Nicholas (The Princess Diaries 2). I was a huge fan of the first movie. I never even read the book series. All I knew was that Michael was the perfect boyfriend for Mia and no one could possibly compete with that. When I saw the second movie in theaters and Mia ended up with someone totally new with Michael not even being a consideration, I was furious. I think it took me years to watch the second movie again, even though I owned the first one on DVD. A few years ago, I revisited both movies and was blown away by how much better Mia and Nicholas worked for me than Mia and Michael. While Mia's relationship with Michael was sweet as a first love, teen relationship, I feel like Mia really connected with Nicholas as a woman. They had so much passion and surprisingly, things in common. They challenged each other and lifted each other up, and it's so easy to imagine them living happily ever after in royal harmony.

[bloodboundsiege]

out of curiosity, what made you decide to make this into a full fledged visual novel instead of just writing a fic? esp since afaik there hasn't been a demand/outcry for more bloodbound

(this ended up being rlly long, so I'm putting it under a cut. if you don't want to read all of that, the tl;dr is I've been working on an spec adaptation of Bloodbound since 2021, I've been making edits with Choices assets for a little over a year now, and I started messing around with ren'py during my stint in the now no longer active @nightboundthesecond project, and this spinoff is the culmination of all of those things bc I wanted to do something w them).

Anyways, here's the long version:

So...I kind of already did. Sort of.

In summer of 2021, I was going through a pretty bad depressive episode and ended up rereading Bloodbound (which got me back into the fandom as a whole, more on that in a sec). When the dust cleared, I began really heavily reconsidering what exactly I was doing with my life.

I'd been toying with the possibility of doing a film MFA of some kind, but I was worried I didn't have the skillset to get into any grad programs. So, I began teaching myself how to write screenplays by adapting Bloodbound into a spec TV series. From August 2021 to April 2022, I wrote twenty-eight episodes, with three rounds of revisions, which really strengthened my abilities as a writer. I'm currently at a T10 film school getting an MFA. I wouldn't be where I am without doing that. Part of my love for Bloodbound stems from the fact that it quite literally changed my life.

The very nature of turning a book into a screenplay/teleplay is that you have to restructure a lot of plot points so they fit in better with the new medium. With a TV adaptation, you also usually have to build onto the source material. For Bloodbound, that meant fleshing things out and creating new characters to move the plot forward. It also meant exploring things that either happened offscreen or were only brief scenes.

And so when it came time to write episodes for the book 2 adaptation, the huge aspect of that was going into New York City and seeing what Gaius was doing during his hostile takeover. And since I had very little to work with from the source material, I had to come up with a lot of stuff off the cuff. And as I put those storylines together, I was like there's actually some pretty interesting stuff here. This visual novel is based off of that stuff.

@clansayeed and his fantastic reimaginings of Bloodbound and Nightbound had been on my radar for a while at this point, but I wasn't aware of the fake caps he made until I actually checked out his tumblr account. I thought they were really fucking cool. As a little private celebration for finishing the third round of edits for season 1 (and to let myself take a break), I decided to teach myself how to make fakecaps and recreate a few scenes from my adaptation in the Choices format:

I found out that I really enjoyed reworking assets into new outfits and character designs--lowkey, putting on a podcast or a video essay, opening up pixlr, and just making stuff became one of my go-to ways to unwind in the midst of mfa apps and life in general--, so I started making more fandom service stuff for fun and posting them on Reddit. I made a variety of stuff: role reversal AU edits, general dress up stuff, and of course... "on the set of [choices book]: the tv show" fake caps.

I feel like you're not really supposed to say this, but it was kind of validating to me that a lot of those posts did like. Decent numbers. And that kind of motivated me to get better at doing it, especially in the beginning.

And then...It Lives Within dropped. And I think that shifted a lot of how people--myself included--considered what they could do within a fandom space like Choices. Like, if we could make our own shit, why not? I was really intrigued by the idea, and so when there were calls for writers and sprite artists for a Nightbound project, I jumped at the opportunity.

(As a side note, I think the fact that now there are people within the fandom making their own sequels/spinoffs/whatever is gonna be rlly interesting for the general ecosystem of the Choices fandom and its future, but that's a convo for another time lol)

While the team I was on is no longer working on a sequel, being part of that group did a lot for me, and I look back on being part of that really fondly. I think we all were kind of picking up whatever we needed to do, regardless of if it was what we signed on for. For me, that meant teaching myself how to use Ren'py. The thing was, this was still in the really early stages of development, which meant I didn't have a lot of story to play with. So...

I was kind of like. Fuck it. Let me try my own thing out.

The original idea was actually a prequel set in the 1910s, as I'd done an MC set and an LI set based on that very premise, but the problem was that there are so few assets from that time period, and asset creation has never been my strong suit. But then, I thought back to the adaptation I'd been working on.

Some of the strongest writing I think I've ever done was in the episodes where the primary storylines were following Gaius's takeover of New York. I think a lot of the themes of the second book came out in those moments. And as cool as it would be, as much as I've fantasized about it, I don't think Bloodbound: The TV Show is ever happening. So it made sense for me to rework that into a visual novel spinoff.

In terms of the actual framing of this story, I spent a lot of time in the Bloodbound tags in the early days of working on my adaptation. I was deep in those tags. And it's really interesting to see what people expected it to be before its release. Part of it was the assumption of a Clan sorting system. Obviously, that wasn't actually the case.

Additionally, I think a lot of people were frustrated by the fact that Bloodbound's MC isn't really given the option to just. Be bad. Which then makes moments like this super jarring:

So, I decided to put everything I'd learned together. I was working on the GUI/character creation features for Nightbound (side note, the GUI in this game isn't an absolutely perfect replication of the Choices GUI yet and won't be for the demo, but we're getting there), I had a ton of edits I'd made that I wasn't using for anything, and I had a story that I knew could be reworked into an arc about a new vampire in New York City during Gaius's coup.

But with this project in general, it's less about a demand for a sequel/midquel/spinoff within the fandom and more like. I noticed that there were some things people wanted out of Bloodbound and didn't get, and trying to give it to them, because I wanted those things too, and I felt like I had the means to create that. When I've talked to IRL friends about this project (non of whom play Choices), I've just been like "yeah it's a visual novel fanfic" because...it's a visual novel fanfic.

So. That's why.

(This was super long (and felt a little self centered, sorry!), but if you read all of that, I hope it all made sense. All of this is to say that this has been a labor of love for a book series I've been living with for a year and a half, and I want to get part of what I've done with it out of my head. I hope you all like it.)

[theroguedragon3]

Fire & Blood Vs House of the Dragon

Lucerys Velaryon’s Death Analysis

The general argument made by HOTD fans is that the book version (Fire & Blood) is unreliable narration, therefore the show is now canon, as stated by GRRM, because nobody can trust the historical recordings. While I can agree to some extent, I see it as rather an adaption rather than the facts based on the event. 

My take is ultimately due to the writers' poor choices where they decide to insert a scene with Rhaenys crashing Aegon’s coronation for shock factor (1x09). Rather than having the newly crowned King, demonstrate the strength of the Targaryen’s to the people, by flying on Sunfyre as depicted in Fire & Blood, at least give him his moment. Then they try to justify Rhaenys not burning everyone, because she was moved by Alicent protecting her son, when we know, she will die battling TWO of her sons (unless they decide to change that too). They also have her explaining to Daemon and Rhaenyra that she didn’t want to be the one to start a war, when in fact she literally would’ve ended it, because all of the major players were at the end of her dragon, due to sloppy writing. Also, earlier in the season how Crispin coleslaw had plot armor, where he beat to death the knight of kisses in cold blood murder. Don’t get me started on Larys’ foot fetish.

The season finale had its ups and downs, but it was the ending that left me annoyed that the writers decided to push yet another accidental or misunderstanding narrative. So, after processing it I decided to re-read the Storm’s End section about the confrontation between Lucerys and Aemond. I wanted to expand upon the words with my interpretation of the situation and basically vent about how the interpretation/change makes Aemond look more of a fool than Mushroom. I wouldn’t have been as heated with this change, if it wasn’t stacked upon yet other misunderstandings and accidents. This event is what sets off the chain reaction and to have it be a result of Aemond accidentally killing Luke, it completely contradicts the nature of their strained relationship and the main theme of a bloody family feud.

The tragedy that befell Lucerys Velaryon at Storm’s End was never planned, on this all of our sources agree.

Firstly, the way I interpreted this quote is that it simply is fact. Lucerys had no knowledge that Aemond was already at Storm’s End securing a marriage alliance. Aemond had no knowledge of Lucerys being sent to remind Lord Borros, on where his allegiances should lie. Hence, there was no prior knowledge to actively plan his death.

Another interpretation would be how the HOTD adaption, relies on changing Aemond’s intent. They decided to go with the route of making him a “grey” character, by having the instigating incident that sparks the civil war, stem from an accident, something out of his control. Therefore, it supports the notion of it being unplanned and portrays him as a “grey” character, who we the viewer should feel sympathy for, only for me it backfired. He was riding on a literal war dragon terrorizing a significantly smaller dragon, who has never been to war, what did he think was going to happen. This decision makes him an egotistical idiot, not long after boasting about his studies on history and philosophy (clearly, he missed out reading about his own dragon’s history), yet he couldn’t foresee things ending in tragedy. 

What was his intentions? What was his plan to chase after Luke? To scare and intimidate him, but the boy was clearly already scared back in the throne room. To torment him just for a laugh, only I had the last laugh in the end, because what did he expect Luke to do. Did he expect him to land on the rocky terrain and welcome him to rip his eye out, then continue on his journey back to Dragonstone. Did he expect to capture him, but what was his brilliant plan to do that, without getting them killed by his behemoth of a dragon. Even if it was for an eye and he managed to maim him back in the hall. Lucerys would’ve left with injuries, causing Rhaenyra to seek revenge, still sparking the war because Luke was attacked as an envoy, which is heavily frowned upon. 

The only good thing the writers highlighted from this stupid taunt chase sequence was the bond between Lucerys and his dragon. Kudos to Elliot, because he really portrayed the amount of fear the character would be feeling, as he’s being pursued by the anime villain cackling fool on Godzilla. One thing I would like to add is that Arrax didn’t go on the offense, till Aemond spoke in High Valyrian demanding that Luke owes him a debt. Lucerys’ fear and anxiety probably skyrocketed, prompting Arrax to go on the attack to defend his rider. Arrax himself would be scared, as it’s being pursued by the biggest of its kind, it knows it is prey and the predator is on the hunt. Similarly, Vhagar would be able to feel Aemond’s contempt for Luke, as she saw no problem in destroying them, after having her scales ruffled. 

 So here for once we need not rely entirely on Grand Maester Munkun, Mushroom, and Septon Eustace. None of them were present at Storm’s End, but many others were, so we have no shortage of firsthand accounts.

This passage outright illustrates that the events that took place in the hall at Storm’s End, has been recorded in history from multiple first-hand accounts. We are no longer relying on the three unreliable narrators but are given details on the conversations that occurred. Unless everyone who witnessed the events were remembering things drastically different to one another or the story was concocted by some anonymous person, I tend to put more weight that the event was documented to as close to the truth, as those who had witnessed it. Otherwise, we would’ve been provided with other versions of the conversation, to allow us to put more weight into one scenario over the other. This is illustrated when the people observe Lord Borros’ demeanour after having the message whispered to him by his maester. Some say he was red in the face, probably from anger at the threat of punishment, should he break an oath sworn by his father, while others suggest he was gloating at holding the power over the two warring houses. It is left to us the reader to determine which observations we want to believe in. 

 “Look at this sad creature, my lord,” Prince Aemond called out. “Little Luke Strong, the bastard.” To Luke he said, “You are wet, bastard. Is it raining or did you piss yourself in fear?”

Lucerys Velaryon addressed himself only to Lord Baratheon. “Lord Borros, I have brought you a message from my mother, the queen.”

“The whore of Dragonstone, he means.” Prince Aemond strode forward and made to snatch the letter from Lucerys’ hand, but Lord Borros roared a command and his knights intervened, pulling the princelings apart. One brought Rhaenyra’s letter to the dais, where his lordship sat upon the throne of the storm kings of old.

This passage offers us an insight into adult Aemond’s character. Upon seeing his nephew, within the first breath he belittles him in front of another lord, under his roof, as a guest. Lucerys ignores him, because he knows that Aemond is trying to get a rise out of him. This interaction immediately sets the tone, of the relationship between the two. In another Lord’s Hall, he can’t even reign his emotions in and behave, as he is still a guest. This is further highlighted by his actions, as he has the audacity to approach Lucerys, ready to snatch the message out of his grasp, only for Lord Borros commanding his knights to stop a possible altercation. Need I remind you Aemond is still a guest, one who has such animosity and spite, once he locked eyes on Lucerys, that performing his duty as a prince, became overruled by his impulsive nature, similar to the fight when they were children (which again is portrayed different in the show).

 But Prince Aemond drew his sword and said, “Hold, Strong. First pay the debt you owe me.” Then he tore off his eye patch and flung it to the floor, to show the sapphire beneath. “You have a knife, just as you did then. Put out your eye, and I will let you leave. One will serve. I would not blind you.”

Prince Lucerys recalled his promise to his mother. “I will not fight you. I came here as an envoy, not a knight.”

“You came here as a craven and a traitor,” Prince Aemond answered. “I will have your eye or your life, Strong.”

While the dialogue is similar to the show, the drastic difference is obviously when Aemond declares he would have Luke’s life, should he choose not to give him his eye, to avenge what happened to him. Of course, the writers had to cherry pick by cutting the end of this dialogue from the show, because there is nothing “grey” about Aemond’s intent. It is pure hatred that he feels for Luke, and it goes to further support that he is acting out of his emotions. Also branding Luke as a traitor, would give Aemond leverage to kill him, as he could justify it as serving his brother, the King, who is being “usurped” by Rhaenyra and the Blacks. This scene also serves to contrast their personalities, as Luke a 13-year-old refuses to rise to the bait, while Aemond a 19-year-old wishes to instigate a fight, while spewing threats to harm his nephew. 

Let’s say if the writers wanted to push the “grey” character narrative and include the full dialogue, along with Maris’ scene that prompts Aemond to chase after Luke on Vhagar, only to suddenly decide to torment him, cackling like a maniac, till Arrax goes rogue and retaliates, then Vhagar kills both Luke and Arrax, by accident, because he only wanted to bully him, ending with shocked Pikachu face shot. In the end, there would be no way to justify it being an accident, because the intent is clear, which the writers knew would only confuse the audience, as Aemond’s reaction would be OC, so they have to discard it.

 At that Lord Borros grew uneasy. “Not here,” he grumbled. “He came as an envoy. I want no blood shed beneath my roof.” So his guards put themselves between the princelings and escorted Lucerys Velaryon from the Round Hall, back to the castle yard where his dragon, Arrax, was hunched down in the rain, awaiting his return.

And there it might have ended, but for the girl Maris. The secondborn daughter of Lord Borros, less comely than her sisters, she was angry with Aemond for preferring them to her. “Was it one of your eyes he took, or one of your balls?” Maris asked the prince, in tones sweet as honey. “I am so glad you chose my sister. I want a husband with all his parts.”

Aemond Targaryen’s mouth twisted in rage, and he turned once more to Lord Borros, asking for his leave. The Lord of Storm’s End shrugged and answered, “It is not for me to tell you what to do when you are not beneath my roof.” And his knights moved aside as Prince Aemond rushed to the doors.

This passage essentially was the tipping point that pushed Aemond over the edge. His lack of manhood was literally insulted to his face, how could he not react. He was already agitated at the mere sight of his nephew, but hearing her taunts about a little boy (whom he despises) taking his manhood, it triggers him into seeing red. Instead of leaving straight away, he asks Lord Borros’ permission to allow him to leave, as he didn’t know if he would stop him like he had just previously done. Lord Borros wants to stay out of this feud, as he has no stake in it and clearly knew about his intentions, but wanted no blood on his hands, by suggesting he will not be responsible for Aemond’s actions once he leaves and thus the knights allow Aemond to actively go after Luke.

 It was bad weather for flying, even for a dragon, and Arrax was struggling to stay aloft when Prince Aemond mounted Vhagar and went after him. Had the sky been calm, Prince Lucerys might have been able to outfly his pursuer, for Arrax was younger and swifter…but the day was “as black as Prince Aemond’s heart,” says Mushroom, and so it came to pass that the dragons met above Shipbreaker Bay. Watchers on the castle walls saw distant blasts of flame, and heard a shriek cut the thunder. Then the two beasts were locked together, lightning crackling around them. Vhagar was five times the size of her foe, the hardened survivor of a hundred battles. If there was a fight, it could not have lasted long.

Observers notices the young dragon Arrax, struggling to navigate against the harsh winds, the pouring rain and constant lightning thundering around them. Unbeknownst to Lucerys, Aemond would be hot on his tail, coming after him with a vengeance, despite the fact he would strike the first shot against the blacks, kickstarting the civil war that both houses knew was inevitable. We are informed that the watchers on the castle walls were still able to see the confrontation, albeit at a distance, but enough to watch the blast of flames, followed by the dragons locked together in combat. After seeing Aemond rush to his dragon and fly off in pursuit of Luke, the people knew what his intentions were, once he caught up to Luke and their dragons engaged with one another.

For HOTD there is no way anyone else observe the fight, as they flew off into the storm, to the point they were literally above the storm clouds at the end of the scene. Now we are left with an accidental death, where the blacks will retaliate with intentional murder, making them appear as eviler out of the two. After all, Aemond didn’t mean to kill his little nephew, but he had no choice but to pretend he did it intentionally, carrying the stain of kinslayer everywhere he goes, only to become a maniac that commits mass murder on said dragon that he lost control of. At this point they might as well write him as losing control of Vhagar, while she burns down the Riverlands, omitting him of any responsibility, because he didn’t mean to kill thousands of people.

This whole white washing the characters intentions completely contradict the very theme of this story, which is a family feud, stemming from years of resentment that escalates into a bloody civil war. Both sides are hell bent in their beliefs on who should sit the Iron Throne, both are willing to go to extreme lengths to achieve their goals, both Alicent and Rhaenyra are ambitious, cunning and are not good people. Let the characters own their villainous characteristics, don’t strip them of their agency only to replace them, as naïve hesitant peacemakers hung up on a forgotten friendship.

[emblazons]

Oh yeah, hard agree on how people perceive Mlvn. Mlvn is portrayed as this dramatic, bombastic relationship where they have these angsty moments and loud 'ILY' moments and monologues, so it is automatically perceived as a great ship and dynamic. But as Caleb said, what makes Lmax real and genuine is that they are not like Mlvn. They do not need to show how much they love each other. Lumx's dynamic and love is real and feels natural due to that reason because they do not spell out how much they love each other, they rather show it to us by caring for each other naturally... And it's like, you really do not actually spell out how much you love someone in a dramatic scene with a dramatic speech, because it really shouldn't be needed in the narrative sense. But the media's perception regarding how a real romance should be is based on those cliche moments, and I cannot exactly blame Mlvns for that. Because, yeah, big monologues, love speeches, 'love at first sight' stuff, one character declaring or screaming how they're scared of losing their partner, just declaring how they love that person (in S3 with Mike)... those are casual and common things in media when it comes to romance.

So, do I think ppl do not exactly get the aspect of Lmx? Yeah. But do I blame them for thinking that Mlvn is a better romance due to all of those 'tropes' and common writing stuff that Mlvn was given on the show? Not exactly, no, I do not exactly blame those people for thinking that way. Bc the majority of the media does that all the time.

bro this been sitting in my asks for DAYS lmao I'm sorry. I assume this is response to my addition here, so I've kept that in mind!

But yes! agreed! A lot of people are so used to grand gestures being what is considered "romantic" in media (and, tragically, in real life) that they gloss over the romantic importance and value of friendship, familiarity and just. enjoying each other's company in the mundane.

I think the easiest way to think about it is to think about people in real life--the ones whose relationships have survived a long time. People who have been married or successfully coupled for 15, 20, 30+ years always tell you similar things when talking about what makes their relationship work long-term: namely "I married my best friend," "love is a decision you make not a feeling, because feelings evolve but I still chose your partner over and over," and "communication and forgiveness are core parts of what has made us successful."

Mike & El literally have none of that--they don't communicate effectively and haven't grown into doing so either I don't care what Mlvns say, don't lead with choice (but rather an expectation of feeling) and they don't share common interests anywhere outside of the goal to end the UD/physicality as their primary sign of romantic interest...which by the end of S4 isn't even there lmao.

Lumax on the other hand have slowly built to the "healthy" things I listed--they are actively contrasted to M*leven in S3 when Lucas showing that "romantic time" with his GF is hanging out with her and his friends together (which he actively calls Mike for not doing while doing those things for/with Will) on top of all the moments in S4 we see Lucas and Max slowly start to communicate, apologize, build back despite their disagreements/distance and then bond over/call to each other for by the end of the season.

By the end of S4, we have Lucas sitting bedside to Max reading to her, loving on her and being present even when she's at her lowest...whereas El walks passed Mike and doesn't even talk to him (per Mike's own admittance) despite him giving one of those bombastic love confessions we talked about, and Mike doesn't comfort her for anything related to Max (mostly because she won't let him, but that's beside the point). Lucas is doing what a great partner does (the "in sickness / for worse" part of things like wedding vows, honestly) while M*leven can't even bring themselves to do more than stonewall and pretend things are fine when they are decidedly not (especially when in front of other people).

Real talk is that its clear why Lumax is better suited to survive than M*leven if you have any sense of healthy relationship--but. I mean we know that "healthy relationship" has never been a real driver for why people ship Mike & El ☠️

thanks for the ask!