#he’s a funny man

[drunkeddiediaz]

Tim Nash??!! Oh no Tim you DIDN’T!😂😂😂

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Trans visibility day arrives in Konoha and like the little shit he is, it’s the one day of the year Kakashi can be seen EVERYWHERE.

No sneaking up on people

No coming in through the window

This man is in five different places at once because he is abusing the Shadow clone jutsu to Naruto levels . Will he regret this decion later when he is laying face first on his floor? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes

This is the one day a year he will be seen everywhere and no one knows why except him and his closest friends. His students are freaking out because everywhere they look Kakashi-sensei is there.

It’s like they can’t escape him

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[beebfreeb]

[mr-malumm]

Rewatched episode 1, have we considered this?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Dog Meshi.

[corvid-khaos]

fionna and cake but simon drops increasingly wild anecdotes about his life

[phantomrose96]

Thinking about Edward Elric as the Amestrian Military's specialest little unfireable boy

State alchemists can be fired for underperforming. We know this up front from the likes of Shou Tucker. And this makes a ton of sense from the homunculi's standpoint since the state alchemists are sacrifice candidates, and the homunculi would want to cull the weakest candidates and focus only on cultivating the strongest ones who stand the best chance of opening the portal.

........Then there's Edward. Who's already opened the portal.

There's no need to cultivate him. No gamble taken on whether he's good enough to open the portal. He passed the final test already. Graduated 4 semesters early.

And as such, has a free pass to do Absolute Fuck All.

And I'm imagining how funny this is from like an outside perspective.

Some newish state alchemist who'd only ever read up on the stories of Edward Elric, ready and excited to start their career of being paid handsomely with endless freedom to research and travel and do anything they want in the pursuit of science... surprised and confused to find themselves put on probation their first month for things like "ignoring orders." Which is, as best they had thought, a famous Edward Elric pastime.

Roy showing a slight bit of stress about his yearly state alchemist report, and Ed just snorting and rolling his eyes at Roy because every year HE just hastily does his on the train ride over (canon in the manga, a travesty it was left out of the anime) and it gets rubber stamped. Ed not realizing that other alchemists' reports get genuinely scrutinized and torn apart while Ed is free to turn in whatever absolute bullshit he thinks of 36 hours ahead of time. One year his report was about whether alchemy could be done via dance (conclusion: no it can't) and no one cared. Roy WANTS to tell Ed there's some kind of unknown favoritism around Ed making him literally bullet-proof but Roy has no way to phrase this that doesn't sound like he's just in denial and mad at how good Ed's train-reports are.

Guy from the Internal Amestrian Affairs sector who's responsible for auditing other internal military personel for any suspicious activity hitting about 1 million red flags for Edward Elric, issuing a STRONG and URGENT recommendation to suspend the alchemist pending further investigation into things like "literal bunk-buddies with two members of the Xingese royalty (enemy nation)" and "spent $10,000,000 of his stipend on a librarian to make her re-copy (what he seemed to interpret as?) military records in some extremely transparent effort to unearth state secrets (it was a recipe book but he was literally asking her about state secrets)" and "literally has never once obeyed an order, ever, not even once in his career, and is on public record having said 'I do not care about the goals and protections of the Amestrian Military. I am in fact only pursuing my own interests several of which are diametrically opposed to the safety and well-being of the governing body of Amestris'"

The issued recommendation is intercepted before it even reaches its intended desk. President Bradley himself has taken issue with it and denies it before a single set of eyes has seen it. The President's veto stamp is a terrifying hammer, used rarely, and it is now sitting on the auditor's desk.

The auditor sleeps with one eye open from then on out.

[ilovemesomevincentprice]

Vincent Price guest stars on The Muppet Show (1977)

[mmaeeve]

daily dean quote #26/366:

“well, the problem with the snake is that it has a thousand heads. evil bitches just keep piling out of the volkswagen.

- season 4, episode 12, criss angel is a douche bag

[ceraunophilet]

i know i live in a theatre household because as soon as i try and get a cheesestick from the fridge while my dad is making nachos he starts quoting hamlet at me and pointing with a spatula

[linktoo-doodles]

i'll strangle you or i'll kiss you on the mouth

[namespara]

If Cazador ever commented on Astarions companions (instead of just ignoring them which ultimately leads to his downfall) he'd be pretty flabbergasted to see the durge he definitly has heard of innit

[cemeterything]

my dad was doing that thing he does where he starts boasting about how there's nothing he can't do and he's an expert in everything and i said "oh so like barbie" and he went so quiet you could hear something shattering inside him

[lesbianreimlunettes]

still floored at how in his famous essay on brothers karamazov, freud decides to diagnose dostoevsky with bisexuality out of nowhere and follows it with "teehee, sorry"

[celestialalpacaron]

Jealous little brat 🥰 Angel I promise they’re just sharing intel about overlords, relax bb girl asgbswjjhwjhwhjwjw