#he's an absolute puppy in s1 i miss him

[burr-ell]

so... 7, 12, and 22 for CR?

choose violence ask game

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Oof.

I did not have a positive relationship with Scanlan for a long time. The annoying DnD bros, who absolutely fawned over him and over everything Sam Riegel said and did at the expense of everyone else, were not a ringing endorsement of his character. (Yes, that includes Matt Colville.) Like, first of all, none of y'all combined have the charisma that Sam has in his pinky finger; second, we get it, y'all wanted a horny bard self-insert to validate your insecurities, but I promise you this episode with great Keyleth moments can 100% stand on its own. I think 1x85 is a great episode because the conflict is nuanced; what I do not appreciate is the "Scanlan is a poor put-upon puppy who did nothing wrong and his friends were all big meanies". Like...way to miss the point, guys. (Also, the "You see, Scanlan IS the leader! Vex said so!" thing was so funny. So you agree? You think Vex's opinion carries more weight?)

Spending time away from that, without anyone shoving the character down my throat, has made me appreciate him a lot more. Honestly, I was surprised at how well TLOVM s2 really rescued his character for me, both because of episode 6 and because they really toned down a lot of what I found irritating about him in s1. (Could have done without the bondage flashback, but honestly, his kill with Mythcarver was so amazing that I'll let it slide.) His songs were great, and I really enjoyed his versatility throughout the back half of the season.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

I feel like Kynan might become more popular if he debuts next season (fingers crossed, please let it be Kynan and not Desmond I'm begging), but I do think he's a bit underappreciated. I always like seeing him utilized as part of the Riflemen in fics, but I kinda want to see more of his dynamic with the de Rolo family. He represents what a lot of Whitestone represents—breaking the cycles—and I think there's something interesting in how he finds a place of healing.

Also if he's in TLOVM he should be voiced by Ray Chase so that everyone from Loud Annoying and Very Annoying is on the show, I'm objectively correct on this.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

I love that Keyleth can be incredibly frustrating sometimes. Part of the reason I like Percy so much is that I can relate to his sense of pragmatism, but I genuinely enjoy that he and Keyleth argue about it. And I like that sometimes Percy is wrong, and sometimes Keyleth is wrong! I feel like people tend to ignore the fact that Keyleth can be really stubborn and naive and self-righteous, in part because people don't want to be perceived as hating on Marisha. But I appreciate Keyleth as a character so much more when she's allowed to have real flaws.

[zmediaoutlet]

Happy Wincest Wednesday, everyone!

What is one moment in canon that you feel other people in the fandom misinterpret? This is your chance to say "my interpretation of this is the correct one."

happy wincest wefridnesday! That's a real day, that I have created.

I like the idea of fixing on a particular moment but it has given me a lot of chin-scratching to do. That is, other than the moment with the """""puppy eyes""""" which are absolutely not goddamn puppy eyes in Skin, which I am CORRECT ABOUT and I will TAKE NO ARGUMENTS --

hmmmmm I'm gonna go with the end of Metamorphosis. I haven't watched it super recently (although the rewatch is now in s4, so -- soon!), but a) that episode's phenomenal, and b) there's this little blink-and-you-miss-it moment that I think gets discarded a little too easily.

The episode's all about Sam's powers and how he shouldn't be using them. Which -- I mean, in the full context of the show, whatever excuses and reasons and consequences and destinies were involved, that is true. The powers and what came out of them were bad, both for Sam and for the, you know, planet. But whatever, that's not the point of this post. Dean's told by angels that Sam should not be doing it -- he's terrified and furious about the powers themselves, which probably isn't helped by the fact that he just came from hell where he saw actual demons doing similar bad shit -- and he's not exactly nice to Sam for most of the ep, as a result. Not great! Not a super brotherly moment!

That said: there's this little second at the end of the episode. Sam's had his big arms akimbo speech and he's also helped save Dean and they've had their wildly on-the-nose heavy-handed monster parallel case. Then, in the car, Dean's... contrite is probably too far, but he does feel bad. He's been hard on Sam and he knows it, and he understands now that Sam's conflicted about the situation too. And then:

SAM There's nothing more to say. I can't keep explaining myself to you. I can't make you understand.

DEAN Why don't you try?

SAM I can't. Because this thing, this blood, it's not in you the way it's in me. It's just something I got to deal with.

DEAN Not alone.

Not alone. Now, it's a throwaway line. The kind of thing Dean and Sam say to each other all the time. But coming in this context, especially with the expression Dean's wearing, it just... blows open this window into an entirely different s4, for a second there. It's proof, to me, that Dean could have gone with Sam's powers -- could have helped, could have listened, would have -- if Sam had asked. But Sam shuts down (for understandable reasons) and it's put away, until Sam starts up again, and -- it's the lie, and the sneaking around, and the 'cheating', that clearly are so much more of a betrayal for Dean, in the end, than just sucking blood & using the powers on their own. It's really... fascinating.

I guess the way that people are wrong about it is: it's not the powers that are the problem. It's everything that comes with them. Granted, given everything that came with them, Sam clearly has no interest in exploring them further because it's a rough reminder of a dark time -- plus his little problem with hubris when he was younger -- but Dean had zero substantive problem with Sam's psychic stuff in s1. He cared when Sam lied about it, and wouldn't let him help.

[kwikquik]

I think there are some really bad takes out there about Jonathan, Jancy, Stancy and inflating Steve so I just have to say all this…

Jonathan is not weak and passive. S1 he is basically a parent that is cooking, making $ for the family, being a primary caregiver to Will and his mom in all ways. He confronts his clearly abusive and dangerous father head on (Lonnie says, “you’ve gotten stronger” and Jonathan checks Lonnie’s trunk for Will, implying just how bad he might be) and later he beats up Steve— proxy for his family’s bullies. He’s basically described as a pacifist (the rabbit story) but tough when he has to be. He single-handedly plans his brother’s funeral and he plans/acts to kill the monster including stealing his dangerous dad’s gun. S2, I mean, first he is strong enough to put Nancy and Steve’s relationship completely above his own feelings (party/car scene) and then, of course, he takes part in seemingly torturing his brother to oust the monster although he is clearly emotionally tortured himself. S3 he confronts all the monsters head on including the one in El’s leg….

Chemistry. The only time I viewed Stancy as maybe having good chemistry is S1 Christmas scene and maybe also on his bed, mostly. Oh and I think he was a really good bf at Barb’s parents dinner. But nearly every other scene S1-S2 is Steve pushing boundaries with Nancy or not listening to her - which despite his sometimes puppy dog look is not cute and endearing to me. He negates her desire to study, directs how she should spend her time, she routinely wants to stop kissing before he does, he shows up at her bedroom window 2x not explicitly invited (after one of which he slut shames her), he and his friends are interested in weekday partying, drinking, sex while she is not but gets pressured into. Even before she knows Barb went missing, she clearly looks a little conflicted about the fact that she slept with Steve after the fact. By the time she’s drinking too much at the S2 party and he is right to suggest that she stop and they go home, she’s been dismissed so much by him that she no longer listens to what he has to say and then blows up about it all. Which, yes, was shitty for Steve. (Also, for those not paying attention, he absolutely did NOT tell Jonathan to take her home. Also I don’t know whether they definitely were broken up by Murray’s - they certainly both called each other bullshit - but Tommy does say they were broken up in the shower scene.) Anyway, and then the S3 end scene is the most blatant difference between N&J and N&S- Nancy never, ever showed even a fraction of that much care and love for Steve.

Re “a creep.” Creep is the bullies’ stereotype of Jonathan that some fans perpetuate, which is really sad. Like, the Duffers really said, here are bullied nerds and loners and downtrodden who deserve to be loved, and yet the fans are out here acting like Tommy & Carol about Jonathan. Did he take secret photos? Yes. Is that the only creepy thing he’s shown to ever have done? Yes. Was his brother/best friend missing and likely presumed dead at the time and his mother seemingly having another nervous breakdown and canon that they are all victims of abuse and bullying? Yes. Is Jonathan portrayed as focused on sexual things at that time? Absolutely not. Based on other Jonathan characterization, were the photos of Nancy likely sexually motivated (also the facts are that he stopped at shirtless Nancy, not ‘them having sex’ which fandom perpetuates), or instead were they super bad idea artsy snapshots of an interesting life that he’s an outsider to? The latter. Steve and friends think it’s sexual because it’s all they think about. Anyway, it was wrong but there’s context. And maybe Nancy would be more distraught about them if she wasn’t so laser focused on the fact that Barb is missing and she knows that, hey, so is this guy’s brother, who is also her brother’s best friend whose family is not as bad as she hears people say. Who else gives us clues about Jonathan? Well, the kids, who portray Jonathan as safe/responsible (contrasted to Steve as a “douchebag”), Joyce- same, and Mrs. Wheeler- same.

Re Communication. Are N and J having communications problems in S4? Yes. But at least Nancy shares with Jonathan. She has no interest (or ability sometimes) to share with Steve. It’s shown that it’s partly because Steve doesn’t listen to her and/or unconsciously disrespects what she has to say. Which continues into S4 when he doesn’t say anything like, ‘hey, I know you said 6 kids sounded like a nightmare but I wanted you to know, you are also in my dream.’ No, as usual, it’s all about him, his opinion, what he wants to do. (Also, facts, Steve has never ‘babysat’ Will or El so don’t count them in the 6…). Anyway, Nancy gets no words in edgewise and never has and stops trying pretty early on. She doesn’t show that she wants to talk to him much, really. Contrast that with Jonathan, who she is already having deep conversations about life with in the darkroom, when she is way way way less close to him than she’s supposed to be with Steve. She and J fight because they have deep conversations about things and, up til now, they’ve resolved and grown from those conflicts.

Intellectual compatibility. I don’t see this brought up very often but Nancy does not suffer fools gladly and Steve, sorry to say, is not shown to be intellectually compatible with her. She enjoys deep convos with J from early on. When she says J will be home reading Vonnegut on Halloween, she wants him to have more teenage fun, yes, but she actually respects that he reads and reads challenging stuff. She’s turned off by Steve’s simplistic college essay. She and J finish each other’s ideas while Steve confuses Germans with Nazis and various other little things like that. Can you really see Nancy excited to have conversations about “boobies!” like Robin tolerates? No. My read on Nancy meeting Robin was that Nancy was annoyed while Robin acted like a blundering idiot and then started liking her when she proved she was, in fact, quite savvy and intelligent which started when Robin found the Creel info at the library from suggesting the alternative news source (this is right after Robin says she isn’t dating Steve— leaving the audience to think it might’ve been that that turned Nancy). Nancy hangs out with the nerdy newspaper kids. Nancy says Dustin is her favorite of Mike’s friends- and it’s pretty clear that Dustin is the smartest of all of them (and bullied for being conventionally different). She says that girls Dustin’s age are too immature to realize it but that he’ll drive them crazy (aka they’ll love him) one day. Yup - just like she matured and realized that an intellectually curious, different guy like Jonathan was what she actually loved.

In S5, if J and N don’t communicate better like they have in the past and if Jonathan reverts to being a listless stoner (which, facts, he wasn’t once the Cali mission actually started), then he’s not really the guy she fell in love with anymore and it wouldn’t work out. But, Steve is shown to just not be her type beyond the surface, as much as she might even want him to be. It would be really disappointing for the Duffers to negate all that.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Something else that gets me…

… About s1 is during the Poor Communication Kills ep, when Neal (somehow?) only just notices the ring photo and gets convinced the person who ‘‘‘‘‘kidnapped’’’’’ Kate (I’ll eat my photoboard if she was actually as kidnapped as he thought she was—like I’m sure Adler was pressuring her a bit in some way, I don’t think she was a monster, but I highly doubt she was the poor helpless victim acting under threat, she was another agent of Adler’s, she proves that by calling him later, she just used Neal’s blind devotion to her to play him)… You can tell he’s particularly shaken up (him losing control of his emotions and physically lashing out is usually reserved for Kate in s1, but this is only indirectly related) and then Mozzie genuinely tells him he’s sorry. No immediate ‘ha ha said you couldn’t trust suits.’ Genuinely tells him he’s sorry. And even when Mozzie does go back to the anti government rhetoric, it’s much more gentle and not proud or ‘I told you so.’ Mozzie knows just how painful this apparent discovery is for Neal, and he’s taking it absolutely seriously. I don’t feel like he’d do that if it were anyone else. Notably, he also never collected a file on Peter, even though Neal said ‘everyone’ so he went and got Lauren and Jones (that pic was clearly not Jones).

I feel like you see/get a lot more evidence of Peter’s fondness stretching back before he caught Neal, but this like a small moment of seeing that the same is true for Neal, in a way. He’s been a lost kid, a run away, all his life, running w/ other run aways. Somehow, and some point, something in Peter’s investigation of him turned into something else? I think Neal was projecting a father figure onto Peter for far longer than he strictly realised—their dynamic shifted from just Peter trying to arrest him to something more friendly. And what’s an all but orphan to feel about someone who cares where he is all the time, who gives him respect and thinks he’s smart/praises his abilities but also scolds and tries to get him to stop running wild? He sent him birthday cards and cookies (apparently??? I dunno when, but apparently). Postcards. That’s the kinda thing a kid overseas sends to their parents. I think you also see it a little in the flashback ep in s2, where Neal is all excited about being ‘at the top of the pile’ of files. He’s all like ‘but I was your favourite, right, right???’ Seriously, how did Matt Bomer nail the human embodiment of a puppy??? I do think pre actually working/spending time together it was completely subconscious, like that Marco Polo thing from Bones where she talks about how much it meant to have someone care where you were at any given time. For all he’s gotten good at living on his own, Neal missed family and I think a part of him latched onto Peter to fill that void w/out his even realising (completely understandable, when written in character, Peter is an extremely fatherly dude). He may not have totally realised it, but he felt a bond w/ Peter. And Mozzie presumably witnessed that.

It just feels like it’s too soon for Mozzie to be accepting Neal’s feelings about Peter w/ such sincerity if it’s just based on since his release from prison, bc he sees Peter/the FBI as still controlling Neal. The first ep makes it already so clear how familiar Peter and Neal are w/ each other, and since Neal and Mozzie clearly at least stayed in touch, Mozzie presumably at least knew Neal’s side of it. He’s not rubbing it in his face bc this is an apparent betrayal that he knows Neal would never have thought possible, and that must go further back than a couple of months. And tbh, going by Mozzie’s earnestness, I don’t think he thought it’d happen, either.

I dunno if any of that made sense, but it’s just. Interesting to me how they don’t really focus on it, it’s a tiny moment, but they make it very clear just how upsetting this apparent discovery is to Neal, w/ Mozzie’s reaction making it even deeper.

[lovecolibri]

I really wish S3 had opened with some kind of gesture/declaration/something from Michael or even that he had walked up to Alex at the bus stop with F*rrest. Instead he had a 5-second sad face reaction at F*rlex and hasn't expressed anything about his hopes for a future with Alex to anyone since. Now we're back to S1 where Michael is talking to everyone else about what he feels and wants and Alex is expected to mind-read because Michael is making puppy eyes at him without ever saying a word and the fandom is mad if he doesn't. 3x03 was nice but it was also Michael making no move to spend time with Alex or ask about how he's doing until he had to dump his latest emotional baggage on him which was already all of S2. Based on Tyler's interviews it and Alex's behaviour in 3x01 it doesn't seem like Malex kept in touch much in the missing year. Is Alex still in his S2 mindset about not being good for Michael? Who knows? Not us. 2x01 was garbage but at least it had Alex reaching out with the guitar and Michael making an informed decision to reject him. Things were out in the open. I am still banking on Michael's recent growth with his vow to take care of the people who matter and the neediest voicemail in the history of television to not let Alex push him away too far but the first half of the season could have been more.

"Who knows? Not us" is the Malex theme this year! Did they talk over the past year? Who knows! Not us! Does Alex think there is a chance for him and Michael? Who knows! Not us! Does Alex still want there to be something between him and Michael? Is Alex still hurting over a year later about what happened between Michael and m*ria (which is clearly all Michael's fault because m*rai could never do anything wrong ever 🙄) and that's why he's pushing Michael away? Is he just trying to keep Michael safe or does he also not want to be around Michael because it still hurts too much? Does Michael think Alex and Forrest are still together? Does Michael still think there is a chance for them? WHO KNOWS! Not fucking us, that's for damn sure. We know more about how Alex and Michael feel about fucking m*ria than we know about where they stand with each other which is not only ridiculous, but also doesn't make sense because if Alex isn't upset with m*ria then why the fuck is he so upset with Michael?

Excuse me, I need to run into the woods and scream for an hour.

"I am still banking on Michael's recent growth with his vow to take care of the people who matter and the neediest voicemail in the history of television to not let Alex push him away too far but the first half of the season could have been more."

Yeah, I was hoping for this first half to be building up their friendship, and when Forrest left immediately I had SUCH high hopes that we would get this foundational build up, get to see them working together on solving mysteries and then something to happen (Alex or Michael getting hurt) to push them into some feelings confessions. I WANT to see that friendship! I want the longing and the little bit of tension, I want to see them talking about their issues and actually saying what they mean and working through them. I want to see them admit they are tired of fighting. And at this point, there isn't really a way to cram all that in and still give us romantic Malex by the end of the season that truly feels earned. Not that Malex need to earn each other, but the show needs to earn that emotional payoff, and right now they are barely even laying the groundwork and we are already halfway through the season!

This just feels like another season of utterly wasting Vlamis and Tyler's chemistry and one of the biggest draws of the show, and teasing viewers with Malex to get them to tune in and barely giving Malex crumbs, while the sow continues to focus on the wrong things. There are so many interesting characters and storylines and plots and absolutely NONE of those things are m*ria somehow being on equal footing to have a showdown with Jones, who isn't even her villain to fight!

[bestworstcase]

farran rereads lost lagoon: chapters 9-10

it’s been a hot minute! previous installments here, in case you’d like to refresh your memory first.

- this chapter opens with rapunzel observing that cassandra is angry and concluding, correctly, that it’s because rapunzel followed her. i think this is a very interesting choice for howland to make. tts rapunzel is not like this. she often, particularly in s1, fails to notice when cass is frustrated with her and is startled when that frustration erupts into anger after repeated pushing. she is also generally quite bad at linking cause and effect together like this; she might recognize that cass is angry, but miss why. she stomps all over cassandra’s boundaries in large part because she doesn’t know any better. she can’t see how her behavior is hurting cass. but lagoon rapunzel does know better. she’s far more emotionally intuitive, and she can see right away that sticking her nose into cassandra’s business upsets cass, yet she will continue to do it. part of me wonders if this change is to facilitate the character growth lagoon rapunzel gets (which tts rapunzel does not)? it’s much easier, after all, to fix poor behavior if you’re able to see how it’s hurting people you care about.

- rapunzel here also observes that cassandra’s “eyes were wide and vulnerable,” indicating how afraid cass was of the water situation. cass denies that she was afraid when rapunzel asks her. this has a lot of similarities to how cass acts in fanon, cassunzel fanon in particular—outright denying her feelings, even when rapunzel accurately identifies them. and i know i’m beating a dead horse here, but tts cass is not like this. tts cass readily expresses her feelings to rapunzel—except when she thinks rapunzel isn’t willing to listen to her. in COTB, her reticence with rapunzel comes on the heels of rapunzel doing something cassandra pleaded with her not to do. in RATGT, rapunzel outright tells her to ‘be okay with’ the way rapunzel treats her, and in RDO cass bottles up her feelings and refuses to talk until rapunzel forces her to. actively hiding her feelings is a behavior she develops after becoming friends with rapunzel, because rapunzel continually dismisses or ignores her feelings. this is probably not the last time i am going to harp on this over the course of this little reread. it’s a huge pet peeve of mine.

- re: romance novel: “I hadn’t seen Eugene since the night before. After Cassandra left my room, I sent Pascal to follow her. I instructed him to come get me if she went anywhere.” ksdkjf

- cassandra, of course, wants the lagoon to be their—or rather, ideally, her—little secret, because she’s decided this is the thing that will prove she’s ready for the guard. her approach to getting rapunzel on board with this secret-keeping is to imply that frederic and arianna might compromise corona’s national security if they are informed. i think this is very funny.

- (again, contrast this to what happens in tts: when cass begs rapunzel to keep their midnight excursion a secret, she explains her reasoning in detail, because tts cass knows how to communicate like an adult.)

- “It’s so…blue” jksdfl cass has a way with words huh

- i do not think ms howland knows what a lagoon is, because what she is describing is absolutely not a lagoon. it appears to be a cenote. i suppose ‘rapunzel and the lost cenote’ doesn’t quite have the same ring to it, though, does it?

- cassandra reveals that she doesn’t know how to swim. i will get into this in a moment.

- corona has 315 miles of coastline, according to ms. howland. for purposes of comparison, rhode island has around 380 miles of coastline. now! in addition to those three hundred odd miles of coastline, corona has 212 lakes, 121 ponds, 67 rivers, of which 17 are significant in size and let out into the sea. with some cursory research i haven’t been able to get a precise count of the number of freshwater bodies of water there are in rhode island, but wikipedia tells me that about 90% of the inland freshwater in the state is contained in 237 lakes and ponds, which is a bit less than corona’s 333 total lakes and ponds, so… assuming the other 10% of rhode island’s inland freshwater is contained in a few dozen smaller lakes and ponds, those numbers are quite close as well. and according to wikipedia, rhode island has 59 rivers, of which 17 are ‘considered major rivers either geographically or historically.’ 

there is not really a point to this digression except that i think it is interesting. rhode island is 1,214 square miles in size and based on the general closeness of these numbers i have decided to tentatively conclude that corona is meant to be roughly similar in size. let’s call it a nice even 1,250 square miles for the sake of ease and to account for the greater number of lakes and ponds. 

this is quite a bit larger than the kingdom appears to be in tts—unless the kingdom is very lopsided and island city is situated within a couple dozen miles of the nearest border—but it’s also quite small for a country. (europe has a few very small microstates and city-states, but excluding those, the smallest country in europe is almost twice the size of rhode island). 

for my own writing, i decided that corona was quite a bit larger than this—bitter snow corona is in the neighborhood of 13,125 square miles, of which about ⅓ was formerly saporia and another ¼ is the disputed territory/province of malinar, meaning saporia is/was about 4,375 square miles, malinar is about 3,288 square miles, and pre-conquest corona would have been about 5,462 square miles—but, if you’re writing fanfiction and looking for an approximate ‘canon’ size for corona, 1,250 sq miles is not a bad guess. just remember that that big old wall rapunzel’s so eager to get to the other side of has to be within about twenty miles of the island capital in order for horses to be able to comfortably get there and back in less than a day! so either the island has to be very near the nearest border, or the wall isn’t actually corona’s border but rather a defensive wall around the capital or something like that. 

- now back to cassandra, and the matter of her inability to swim. i think, given that they live on an island and the generally high standards to which he holds his daughter, it beggars belief a little that the captain did not force the issue of her learning how. it’s a safety matter. if you live near water you need to be able to swim.  but, fine, she has a phobia, whatever. it’s for the romance novel™

- but i hate this. i hate it. ms. howland expects me to believe that:

1 - cassandra hasn’t been in swimming lessons since she could walk

2 - cassandra’s phobia was so severe that the captain never forced the issue of her learning to swim, while living on an island

3 - rapunzel magically knows how to swim, because the three or four minutes she spent almost drowning in a slowly flooding cave and then being spat out into a river and dragged to the bank by eugene was sufficient for her to become a great swimmer.

4 - all it takes for cassandra to overcome her debilitating phobia of water is for rapunzel to spend maybe ten or fifteen minutes gently coaxing her into the water and teaching her how to tread water

5 - swimming in the lagoon with rapunzel then becomes one of cassandra’s most treasured pastimes, and

6 - merely a few months after this, cassandra is a strong enough swimmer to (in fitzherbert pi) DIVE INTO THE FUCKING OCEAN FULLY DRESSED WITH HER BOOTS ON in order to rescue shorty before he drowns.

and NO!!!!!! NO! THAT’S NOT HOW SWIMMING WORKS THAT’S NOT HOW ANYTHING WORKS!!

now i get it. i get it. this is a romance novel and the symbolism of rapunzel liberating cassandra from her fears and teaching her a valuable new skill that they bond over and becomes their shared special secret thing to do together is obviously powerful and a staple trope for the genre. but it makes so little sense for this to be a skill that rapunzel has but cassandra does not. it feels almost infantalizing of cassandra and aggrandizing of rapunzel. like… rapunzel is an exceptionally competent young woman, yes. but no she can’t fucking swim you can’t learn to swim from that one time you almost drowned in a FUCKING cave. fuck!

- i’m still on the first page of chapter 10 and i am steamed.

- “It’s amazing how fast you can pick something up when your life depends on it.” FUCK you, ms. howland. you don’t learn how to turn sommersalts or swim laps by almost drowning. at most you might teach yourself how to doggy paddle.

- this scene would have worked just as goddamn well on the romance novel front if cass were the one who knew how to swim and rapunzel desperately wanted to learn and made big sad puppy eyes until cass caved and agreed to teach her. like! ffs you could even squeeze in the phobia stuff - rapunzel freaks out when she gets to a certain depth because it throws her back to being in that cave and cass, who has plenty of experience dealing with her own panic attacks, is able to gently calm her down.

- but that would require ms. howland to allow rapunzel to be bad at something. grumble.

- i don’t think rapunzel is qualified to give cass exposure therapy.

- this is nitpicky but i’m annoyed. this is not how you clean plate armor. “First you hang your suit of armor up to make sure every piece is properly aligned and that there’s no rust” WHAT? it’s not… like, it’s not like a onesie. plate armor is a bunch of individual components tied or buckled to an arming doublet or, in some cases, to other pieces of plate. you can’t ‘hang up’ a suit of plate armor the way you’d hang up, like, a jacket. you can put the pieces together on an arming doublet that you’ve hung up on a dummy, but… why would you do that in order to clean it.

“Then you attach the foot coverings” gjksdfjk just… the mental image of cassandra painstakingly putting a suit of armor together on a fucking mannequin and buckling the sabatons to the greaves or what the fuck ever she means by this and trying to clean the set that way is destroying me

“Then you need to polish the chest plate, with a soft cloth, work in circles, going outward” okay yes but you’d do the cuirrass separate from the rest of the set and you’d do the inside too and cass ought to know the proper name for all of these pieces please it’s not hard

“The arms can be tricky because the joints” WHAT. for arms you’ve got, like, a pauldron (or spaulder and rondel), rerebrace, couter, vambrace, gauntlets. these are separate pieces. you clean them one at a time, inside and outside. does howland think you just… don’t need to clean the inside of a set of plate armor? does she think the inside isn’t just as if not more susceptible to rust as the outside? does… does she realize that you can take plate armor apart i am CONFOUNDED

WHAT is a “mouth cover” in this context. is she refering to a visor. hinged pieces like on an armet? does she mean a bevor? the bevor isn’t even part of the helmet aljksdflkjsfdj

cassandra refers to cuisses and greaves as “thigh plates” and “shin [plates]” respectively i’m die. she also completely skips the poleyns. i do not think this cass has ever cleaned a suit of plate armor in her entire life.

i am losing. my. mind.

- in the immediate aftermath of cass learning how to tread water i think rapunzel asks her more personal questions than she does in the entirety of tts itself. like, it’s almost jarring how much more interested both rapunzel and eugene are in cassandra as a person in this book than they seem to be in tts. compare this conversation to the way cass opens up to rapunzel in beginnings - here, it’s prompted by rapunzel asking questions, expressing interest in cassandra’s feelings and encouraging her by telling her she’s brave. in beginnings, rapunzel builds a pillow fort in cass’s room because she wants to force a bonding moment and cass, after initially trying to kick her out, relents and volunteers some personal information as a kind of apology for being hostile. the vibes are completely different, so different that it feels like i’m not even reading about the same characters.

- like can you imagine tts rapunzel saying something like “it’s your story, that makes it important” to cass? lmao

- cass reveals that she’s afraid of water because she got dragged out by the undertow at the beach when she was small, and her dad saved her and then got so mad at her that she remembers being as afraid of him as she was of the water. this is not unrealistic per se, but… if cassandra was as scared of her dad that day as she was of drowning, then… shouldn’t that have more of an impact on her relationship with him? like…he screams at her after she almost drowns and she walks away with this debilitating phobia of the water but zero lingering fear of him?

- this chapter has given me a headache

- re: romance novel: “Rapunzel gripped my hand. This time I didn’t flinch.” snrk. 

[fakecrfan]

I’m in love with the idea of sentient places, so I think the eye (s1) shows its love To Martin through the institute. Maybe the ground cradles him a bit as he walks, the doors don’t squeak when he uses them, it takes less time for him to go up the stairs. Maybe, at one point, the elevator breaks with him in it, bc it isn’t ready for him to go home yet.

Oh I absolutely love this.

Martin is staying at the Institute and--it’s fine. He tells himself it’s fine. It’s just--he keeps waking up to phantom sensations in the middle of the night. Something brushing through his hair. A finger tracing down his shoulder.

After six weeks of interrupted sleep next to a fire extinguisher, Martin makes a decision.

“Uh,” he says to Jon. “There’s--I mean, the worms are still coming in here. So maybe it’s not actually safer for me to stay at the Archives?”

Jon looks absolutely affronted for a moment. Like Martin just kicked a puppy. “You want to leave?”

“Uh… yeah. Yeah. I mean--then we could see if they follow me, or if they’re just going after the Institute.”

Jon snipes and scowls but grudgingly admits it’s “logical.” Martin assumes the sullenness is more of Jon’s usual irritation at Martin… being Martin. It’s fine. Nothing unusual. He makes Martin promise to text him if worms show up at the hotel, and then ends their conversation abruptly after.

He says goodbye to Jon for the afternoon, and heads out--but before he can leave he realizes he’s missing his cell phone. 

Okay, well. No biggie. He must have dropped it… oh! In that storage room that he retrieved that old statement from. Right, he remembers having his phone in there last. Well, he just needs to head back in, grab it, head back out and--

“Huh?”

The door won’t open. That’s--no, it didn’t have a lot on it before. Must be… stuck? Martin tries the knob again, and again, getting frustrated.

“Hello!” he calls out. “Anyone out there?”

After a few undignified minutes he checks his phone, hoping to give Jon a call to get him out of this embarrassing situation, since Jon usually is the one there the latest. 

No signal.

How long before irritation turns to frustration? Before jiggling the doorknob becomes banging and kicking? How long before calling out turns into screaming at the top of his lungs?

“Someone! Is anyone there! Jon?! Jon?! Help me!”

How long until anger and frustration turns into the sinking dread that he might not get out of here at all? That Jon has already gone home, that the custodians already made their rounds, and there is no one to hear him cry out? How many tools does he go through trying to dismantle that stupid fucking door?

How long until he starts to just cry? 

(Martin is so tired. Of Prentiss, of worms… of the Institute. He was going to get away for the night. He was going to sleep on a real bed, it’s not fair.)

And then, Martin hears a noise, and turns around. It’s--No, that can’t be right. 

There wasn’t a camera in here before. Was there?

(Martin falls asleep there on the hard floor, eyes fixed on the camera as long as he can stay awake. And it’s the strangest thing, but as he’s drifting off, he could swear the camera blinks.)

[harrowscore]

Mikasa Ackermann, Levi Ackermann, Amane Misa, Aeron Greyjoy for the charactet ask :3

SOMEONE HEARD MY PRAYERS AND NOW MY TIME HAS COME, tysm!!!!! <3

okay, let's start with levi (my beloved):

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life (THEE little feral anime man after my heart)

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang (Dark, Tall and Snarky + piercing grey-blue eyes and chronic insomnia? clearly my type ❤)

hogwarts house: gryffindor (maybe....?) | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

ugh, the hp sorting house system is way too reductive. he has qualities of gryffindor, slytherin, and hufflepuff - brave, astute, loyal to a fault, etc. so it's a hard choice. but if i really have to choose, i'd go for gryffindor. i know that his Bad Boy facade shouts slytherin, but while he has larger goals (killing all the titans, then saving the world etc.), he's got no actual ambition for himself. hufflepuff would also be a good option.

daemon (from the his dark materials series): (because i've just decided that's just way more accurate than the hp method) some kind of big feline. maybe a panther - a black panther would be the ideal - aloof, predatory, dangerous, fiercely independent.

best quality: besides his obvious strenghts as a leader and warrior, the way he cares for his comrades-in-arms. it's very hard to gain his trust and respect, but once you have it, it's forever. he's pragmatic and ruthless, yes, but he also has a huge capacity for compassion and friendship. not that he would be effusive about his affections, of course.

worst quality: none, he's absolutely perfect ❤ jklsdfhjk jokes aside, he really struggles to open up (a serious understatement), idt he ever talked about his traumatic past with anyone. i mean, maybe he mentioned it to hange and erwin (erwin knew him when he was still an undergound thug, so...), but... he's not great with feelings. despite his apathetic, intimidating mask, he feels and cares deeply, but he has a long history with losing the people he loves, so he tries to not personally care about his squadmates, which can be both a strenght and a weakness. of course, he spectacularly fails at this.

ship them with: well, it's not a secret that i'm a huge rivamika fan, this ship is almost literally consuming my waking thoughts lmao. imo they're perfectly compatible: very similar personalities (stoic, the strongest warriors, absolutely terrifying on the battlefield but with a soft underbelly), very similar pasts/experiences, so many parallels that it's actually ridiculous, etc. i love how they're both each other's equals and likeness (yes, i took it from jane eyre. no, i don't regret anything lmao). a lot of tropes i love, too: Terrible First Impression (the Pride and Prejudice vibes are so strong with these two, you have no idea), Kindred Spirits/Mirror Images, Veteran/Young Prodigy, The Last of Their Kind, even Height Difference lmao. i could write a whole rivamika manifesto, but this is already too long. (maybe for some other time 👀) i would've loved for their dynamic to be more explored in canon but alas, isayama clearly didn't give a shit about the ackerman legacy, he just used it as a plot shortcut to give them conveniently unique powers, since they never really talked about it 🙄 (and before some troll comes into my askbox shouting "you iNcEsT fReAk!!!!1!!", they're only very distantly related. we know shit about the ackermans but we know for sure that they've got at least several generations between them. biologically their shared DNA is 0%, obviously they don't see each other as family, all the eldians have a dead ass common ancestor from 2000 years ago so they're all basically ⁓related anyway. if you really wanna scream about i.ncest, go watch got/dark/the borgias and shut the fuck up please. or alternatively go outside and touch some grass) sorry for the rant, uh. anyway, i can also see levi/erwin. idk if i'd ever care enough to read a fic about them (i'm usually a huge multishipper, but for some weird reason not when it comes to rivamika? same with braime and kastle tbh), but still, i can see it.

brotp them with: hange and erwin, obv. veteran trio >>> ema trio, sorry not sorry (at least h. and e. died before yams had the chance to ruin their character arcs)

needs to stay away from: ...uh, filth, i guess? lmao

misc. thoughts: besides the stupid teenage fangirl crush i have on him, i'm genuinely fascinated by the man himself. he's a huge mess of a contradictions, and yet somehow it works: he's violent and brash and kind of an asshole, but also has a strong moral code and integrity; he's obv very skilled at all the killing/torturing stuff and yet he has a huge respect for life; he's got a potty mouth to say the least, and yet some very aristocratic manners/tastes (the way he sits, his preference for tea and usually refined clothes); he comes from what's supposed to be an illustrous bloodline, he's methodical and very precise, and yet he was born and raised in the underground, he's been used to filth and blood and poverty since he was a child, kenny of all people was his father figure, and probably has known no other life than a perennial survival mode existence. he's "humanity's strongest soldier", but while well-built he's also small, the david to the titans' goliah, and probably not what people would assume a born warrior looks like. he's also one of the few characters who stayed true to himself and his original characterization until the end, bless you smol king ❤

(okay, this is getting long!)

mikasa:

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them (so much. she deserved better ❤️) | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! (stunning lady ❤) | 10/10 would bang

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

this is actually easy: mikasa belongs to hufflepuff and no, i won't take criticism (just joking lol). enough with this "hufflepuffs are fluffy puppies/Cinnamon Rolls <3" thing: mikasa values loyalty and duty more than anything else. she's also hardworking... and fierce, strong, lethal. yes, hufflepuff and lethal are not mutually exclusive concepts.

daemon: (finally the better option) a she-wolf, fiercely protective of her pack.

best quality: loyal, brave, incredibly strong (alongside her more fragile qualities). practical and level-headed on the battlefield, at least when eren is not included in the picture.

worst quality: struggles to let go of the past (understandable, considering her trauma). tunnel-vision when it comes to eren, obv. extreme levels of delusions ("if only i spoke openly about my romantic feelings for him - as if i didn't made them abundantly clear in ⁓6 years - he wouldn't kill 80% of humanity :(((" lmao okay. just. okay), but that's more on the writing. she's sadly more static than any other main character throughtout the whole series.

ship them with: see above :) but recently i've also started to be intrigued by mikasa/annie and mikasa/sasha. also, i'm sympathetic to jeankasa fans, though i don't actually care for the ship.

brotp them with: EMA trio, especially armin+mikasa. their friendship is so beautiful and special. also sasha.

needs to stay away from: ...... eren, at least romantically. again, that's more on the writing than anything else, but e.remika unfortunately encompasses many tropes i loathe with all the strength of my old shriveled heart: childhood friends-to lovers where the (male) childhood friend doesn't acknolewdge/is completely indifferent to the other (female) friend's romantic feelings, she hopelessly pines for him for years without anything more than a cold shoulder... until in the last chapter it's revealed that he loved her all along and doesn't "want other men to have her!!! :((" (then why did you have no reaction whatsoever to jean's years-long crush on her while she was jealous of any vaguely female-shaped human being you were friendly to, including hange? are you that dumb, man?); the female character's development and entire arc 100% revolves around the male protagonist - she has no goals, no dreams of her own except staying with him forever and ever; the romance is based on an idealized childhood dream, therefore reaffirming those childish illusions would make the character regress, not actually grow up (and nope, epilogue!jk doesn’t count; that also lacks build-up - i would’ve said the same about rm as well, so it’s not about shipping, guys, it really isn’t - and mikasa needed an inner change; getting married to another man but still praying to eren’s shrine is not substitute to actual development lol). post-time skip she's never really frustrated/angry with him, they never get a confrontation about him becoming a, y'know, mass-murderer of gigantic (pun intended) proportions; she puts him on a pedestal, and never stops idealizing him/never sees him for what he actually is (the narrative framing him as some kind of tragic martyr/saint eren from paradis with zero agency and basically... no clear motivation for the abovementioned mass murder, and not the actual complex tragic anti-hero/villain motivated by revenge and righteous fury he deserved to be, does not help). it lacks a good or even decent build-up - it's basically all tell and not show. now, if they'd actually been childhood friends to enemies to lovers/mutually co-dependent... it could have been interesting. sadly, it's not my cup of tea. of course this is just my personal preference, no hard feelings to the shippers.

misc. thoughts: enormous potential. she's been my fav female character since s1 - and ah, i miss s1!mikasa, when she had actually other stuff to do besides mothering eren. i love that she's the strongest warrior (second only to levi, obv), that her skills are never called into questions despite her gender, i love how she stands up for herself and the people she loves, that she may seem cold and stoic and yet has a such a huge heart, that she's not perfect but also sometimes awe-inspiring. sadly, she never really gets out of eren's shadow; what she lacks is an arc focused on herself. that's why imo getting deeper into the ackerman lore would've helped (also, you cannot make the main female character and the most popular male character descend from the same Unique Bloodline or whatever, and never really make them acknowledge it out loud; as a writer, you just can't lol). my spite is so strong that i'm currently writing a ridiculously pretentious fic that's 70% development for her character, to give her a voice, and 30% ackerthirsting. (yes, that's the fic i'm always vagueblogging about lmao, rip @ my brain). if any other rivamika fan is interested… mind you, it’s in italian tho, and idt i have the skills to translate into english.

misa:

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

daemon: mmh, maybe some kind of butterfly? beautiful, colorful, and short-lived.

best quality: glorious fashion sense, more inventive and ingenious than fans actually give her credit for.

worst quality: shallow, impulsive, and obv her dependence on/obsession with light (which stems from trauma btw, but still… the very opposite of a relationship between equals).

ship them with: rem, kinda (monster/human ftw!). also weirdly enough mogi, a little bit? she deserves someone who actually respects her… though she’s far from being a perfect angel. she may actually be crazier than light on some aspects. but in this house we stan evil ladies anyway, so i have no problem with that <3

brotp them with: uh, idk, maybe matsuda?

needs to stay away from: obv light. also takada.

misc. thoughts: a tragic victim of sexist writing. she may be… unhinged to say the least, but she didn’t deserve the abuse she got from light (and from the fans). the female characters’ writing in dn is so bad that idk if it’s on purpose, to kinda mirror the reality of women in a patriarchal society (dependent on men, housewives whose life entirely revolves around their husband/boyfriend etc.), or just casual misogyny lol. it’s even more baffling since we don’t know the author’s gender (they may be a man, a woman, nb, anything really). i tend for the latter option tho.

aegon greyjoy (now, i wasn’t expecting him lol):

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life 

hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

i’m so sorry, i haven’t the slightest idea lmao. maybe gryffindor? mind you, it’s been a long time since i’ve re-read the books, so i don’t have many thoughts about him.

daemon: maybe it’s cliché, but some kind of fish/squid lmao

best quality: ugh, i really can’t remember much from his chapters :(( he’s not a coward, i guess? (lame answer, sorry!)

worst quality: definitely his religious fanaticism.

ship them with: no one.

brotp them with: uh… his family, ig? except euron.

needs to stay away from: obv euron. brr ://

misc. thoughts: i genuinely like the greyjoys chapters, though i vastly prefer the martells (with the exception of theon and asha, bcs i love them). yes, they’re deranged. yes, victarion is… well, victarion lol. but the drowned god religion is actually interesting, grrm knows how to write trauma - every time aeron mentions euron and that freaking door i’m like… :// - and the tragedy of it all… just great writing all around.

okay, that’s the end lmao. thank you so much, love!!! ❤❤

[nat-20s]

PROMPT! the first time the s1 archive gang hangs out outside of work (any variation of the group, doesn’t have to be All of them)

This is only the Archive Assistant sqaud, bc I’m sorry Jon, but no bosses allowed. Also it’s VERY silly and soft bc sometimes u just wanna write nice things u know

(also also fuck I lovecompletely missed that this said “first time” they hang out but uhh. I hope u like it anyway.)

Tim Stoker like to think that, sometimes, not to toot his own horn, but he can be something of a genius. When a cousin’s cousin had offered to let him use their cozy little cabin for a night or two in exchange for help with moving, he had been struck with what could only be humbly described as “inspiration of the most divine nature”. For, as nice as a Friday evening away from it all by himself sounds, it’s so much nicer for a Friday evening away from it all to serve as Archival Assistants Bonding Time™. Or well, more like Tim and Sasha, Who Are Already Best Friends Forever, Figure Out What Martin’s Deal Is, Because For A Guy So Chatty, He Sure Is Mysterious Time™, but that’s not nearly as catchy. Truly, his plan was brilliant, bringing two compatriots and an excessive amount of food and drink to a spot away from the prying eyes of the world and bosses, and feast in the openness and silliness that comes from having a great fucking time.

His plan, and his genius, were tragically derailed. While he knew on their drive up that the air was rapidly getting cooler, Tim couldn’t have even pretended to predict that an hour into their stay would bring a freak blizzard that means they’re snowed in for the next three days, which was 3 times longer than he had accounted on spending with his coworkers/friends. There was more than enough food to last them, and almost enough alcohol, but as Sasha so kindly put it:

“First you make us reenact the first scene of every bad teen slasher movie, now there’s a fucking white out. If we lose power, I’m telling you, there is absolutely going to be a murder.”

“Pfft, no way. The guy who owns this place is one of those weird ass prepper types, there’s a back up generator for the back up generator. And even if we did lose power, we’re all much more the “huddle for warmth under a shared blanket in front of the roaring fire” types than the “get panicked and stab someone in darkness” types, right? Back me up here, Marto.”

Martin, who at three shots in is both hilarious and mean, directs his response to Sasha. “in the event of a black-out I vote we kill Tim. I can take him down and you can finish the job.”

Sasha tips her cup at him, saying, “I like the way you think,” at the same time that Tim yells out, “Hey! Why am I the one dying?!”

Sasha tells him, “Duh. This whole thing was your idea, which makes you the Dr. Black* of this situation. Any good mansion murder mystery dictates the the host dies first. Then, in a moment of entirely unplanned synchronization, her and Martin start chanting, “Host dies first! Host dies first!”

“Okay, you know what? Fuck both of y’all, it’s not my fault that you’re both thoroughbred city slickers that can’t handle being in a cabin with plumbing and running water and electricity. Didn’t either of you go camping as kids?”

Sasha replies “No I’m far too pretty for that,” while Martin bursts out laughing. It takes about 20 seconds for him to settle down. Wiping away a tear, he elaborates, “Sorry, sorry, just. Can not imagine my mother on a camping trip.  I mean, sure, she probably hoped at one point or another that I’d be lost in the woods as a child, or maybe even now, but I think that’s a bit different.”

Tim leans over the kitchen counter, placing his chin in his hands as he says, “Oh shit, Martin lore. Spill the deets.”

Sasha, who’s loyalties tend to sway towards whatever’s most interesting in the moment, piles on with, “You called her your mother, not your mum. That’s means she’s pretty much a right bastard, or a member of the aristocracy, which is just another term for right bastard but you got to grow up as a rich kid. Am I right?”

It’s clear the the two of them have made a grave mistake. All joviality flees Martin’s expression, and he shrinks down both his physical presence and his voice to something that could easily be overlooked if someone wasn’t paying attention. “Oh, um, well, I definitely didn’t grow up as a rich kid. And, it terms of the ‘right bastard’ thing, she’s not- er. That’s to say, she’s- she’s sick and. She’s doing the best she can, given, given everything.”

Martin pointedly looks at his hands while Tim and Sasha panickedly look at each other. They go to either side of him, and when he doesn’t flinch away, they each place a comforting hand on his shoulder. Tim immediately feels the itch to fill the heavy quiet, and he happens to know he has quite the talent for blazing on ahead after these kinds of moments. It’s how he’s survived basically party for the past decade. “Ooookay, I’m gonna go ahead and say that all depressing familial reveals shall be held off until at least the second night of being trapped. While Sasha may have irritatingly few skeletons in her closet in that regard-”

“I have Tory grandparents?”

“We all have Tory grandparents Sash, that’s absolutely nothing. As I was saying, while Sash’s family is boring and semi functional, you and me are gonna do some fuckin’ commiserating on our journey from work friends to friend friends. However, I’m going to have to be 40% drunker, go through a decently strong hangover, and then once again get hair of the dog drunk before I can even start to consider heading down that path. And in that spirit, I think it’s time to start up the drinking games. Truth or dare might end up a bit too heavy for our needs, but Never Have I Ever should suit us just fine. I know I’m gonna regret saying this considering Sasha is 100% going to target my ass, but I think we should establish that whoever puts all ten fingers down first has to chug the rest of the box wine.”

Sasha pipes up with, “Ugh, no, not drinking games, that’s such twenty-something bullshit. I expected better from you.”

“Hey, Martin is a twenty-something, so that still works fine actually-”

“Tim!”

“What?”

Martin’s directing wide, bordering on frantic, eyes at him, and Tim is almost certainly missing something, though he can’t for the life of him figure it out. Sasha’s head is bobbing slightly between the two of them, and shes apparently able to parse what Tim has not. “Oh! Martin, uh, I already know that you’re 2, and it’s cool.”

“Did..did Tim tell you or?”

Tim scoffs out an “I wouldn’t!” even though there’s a distinct possibility that, entirely on accident, he would, and Sasha makes a reassuring coo. “No, no, babe, nothing like that. It’s just that, uh, the Magnus Institute is kind of notorious for not doing any background checks pretty much ever, so when I get a new coworker, I..do it myself.”

Martin’s face blanches, and his eyes somehow get even wider. “Oh god, please don’t tell Jon or Elias, I know I don’t have the credentials, but I really need-”

“Woah, woah, I’m not gonna do that. First of all, archival assistant squad, we ride together we die together in a snowed in god forsaken log cabin, secondly, it’d be hypocritical as fuck if I got up your ass about qualifications. Not a single one of us is qualified for our jobs, not even Jon. Maybe especially not Jon. It’s like, raise your hand if you have a degree in library sciences. No one? Okay, cool, that’s not weird at all for an archive. Actually, maybe bring that up next time he gives you shit. He’ll be all like ‘bluh bluh, you didn’t document this spooky bullshit well enough, it’s not up to the High Standards here at Spooky Bullshit Emporium’ and you can be like ‘whatever buddy, you’re an English major, what do you fuckin’ know?’. It’ll be devastating. He’ll be devastated.”

Martin laughs in the manner of someone who knows that they shouldn’t be, and his shoulders relax into  a lower position. “Why would you want me to devastate him? I thought you guys were friends?”

“We are, which is why we all collectively need to get back at Jon for acting like such a prick. He’s always been a bit temperamental, but I honestly don’t get what his deal is, especially with you. I mean, c’mon, you’re great, being mean to you is like kicking a puppy.”

“Thanks? I think?”

Tim pipes up with, “Oooo, since drinking games are apparently too childish for Sasha, what if instead we play ‘What’s Jon’s Deal Anyway, Featuring, Seriously, Why Target Martin, The Baby of The Archives’-”

“-That feels a bit reductive of who I am and I also I think I’m technically older than Jon?-”

“-Whoever comes up with the best explanation, and by best obviously I mean most entertaining, gets an all expense paid trip from the other two to one of the charity shops I know we all frequent.”

Sasha snorts, “Wow, a whole twenty quid, who could resist such temptation. But also, I’m in, I think I have a winner and I have a violent need to out-cardigan Jon.”

Martin’s relaxation is gone again, which Tim thinks need to be fixed through aggressively passing a glass of wine towards him. He takes it without protest, takes a long drink, and says, “This seems more like 3 am conversation than a 9 pm one.”

Sasha gives an encouraging nudge, prompting another drink, and replies, “Yeah, well, I am not gonna make it to 3 am. I’ve got about an hour until the Alcohol Sleepiness sets in, and I know Tim will be right behind me.”

“Sashaaaaaa, you’re ruining my reputation as a young-at-heart, party-all-night kind of guy.”

“Babe, you’ve complained about your bones aching often enough that you’ve never had that reputation.”

“Surrounded by mean drunks, that’s what I am. I should be pitied.”

Martin shoots a glance towards Sasha, then replies, “You’d be more pitiable if this entire thing wasn’t, you know, entirely your own fault.”

Sasha nods sagely, “It’s true. If you were pitiable then maybe you wouldn’t have to die first.”

“You know what? I am uncomfortable with the energy that’s been created in this room, how about we divert some of that towards complaining about our bosses, as coworkers who are hanging out and having a good time and not bullying me are supposed to do.”

Sasha giggles slightly as she leans down and presses a kiss to Tim’s cheek. “Aw, sorry, Tim. I promise to double cross Martin when if becomes killing time.”

Tim melts a little, even as he’s replying, “Wait, when?” Martin takes another sip and says, “Whatever. I could take you both.”

How the hell are you supposed to resist a set up like that? With an over the top wink and cheesy grin, Tim says, “I bet you could, big guy.”

He’s expecting a slightly flustered reaction, maybe a higher pitched voice and a blush, if he’s lucky. He gets all of those things, but it’s Sasha saying, “Oh my god.” Martin only gives him a raised eyebrow and level stare, and Tim makes a mental note to reevaluate his dedication to only considering Martin in a strictly platonic fashion. Sasha continues talking, cutting through the..tension? with, “Okay, now I am uncomfortable with the energy that’s been created in this room. Tim, tell the studio audience what you think is up with Jon.”

Tim blinks, hard, gives a shake of his head, and says, “Oh, obviously the Jon we know is dead. His ‘promotion’ to Head Archivist was actually Elias killing him off and replacing him with a robot that has the command If: see Martin Then: be dick. Don’t worry Marto, now that Sasha is aware of the issue, she’ll surely be able to reprogram him.”

Sasha hums a bit, then says, “I buy it. I think my explanation’s better, but Elias does seem the “kill a dude and replace him” type. Like if I was gonna suspect any particular person of murder he’s in the top five.”

“Seriously? Elias? Somehow has middle manager vibes even though he’s the head honcho Elias? Mr. ‘I probably wore boat shoes and khaki shorts for the entirety of university’ Bouchard? Voted most likely to put a thin layer of mayo in between two pieces of white bread and claim it’s a sandwich Elias? The area man that’s almost certainly gone on record as saying that golf and networking are his favorite hobbies Elias? He’s far too boring to have committed a murder.”

Tim’s looking at Martin with shock and delight, and he knows Sasha is wearing the exact same expression. “More of this. Please describe more of the things that Elias is.”

“I mean, sure? Uhh, guy that would pay $80 for a dime bag because you told him it’s a premium strain. Person that ironically says things like “kids these days” and “the youths” and you know he’s talking about people well into their 30s. Genuinely believes that if you can afford a cell phone then you shouldn’t be complaining about being  poor, because apparently a one time purchase of around a hundred bucks is the same as trying to pay monthly rent. Tells people to haul themselves up by their bootstraps. Thinks he got to where he was ‘without anybody’s handouts’ even though he’s had a trust fund since he was 15. Writes weekly editorials to the local newspaper complaining about the liberalization of media, and they’re like ‘sir, please stop submitting to us, we’re just trying to talk about Lisa’s gardening club’ because they can’t professionally tell him to fuck off. Thinks salt and pepper are the only spices one could ever possibly need, everything else is simply excessive. Somehow gay and homophobic. Like, yes, he’s taken a male lover, but he’s also seconds away from calling you a slur at any one time. Actually, no, that’s too interesting, and I refuse to believe he’s had a lover. Legally, he cannot have a lover, I’ve decided, so just gay and homophobic, both in theory alone. Has said that Boris Johnson is “a bit much, but really not so bad, and much better than any of the alternatives, really.” All of the cousins in his family banded together and officially got him banned from any sort of major holiday dinners. Basically every shitty boss you’ve ever had, especially if you’ve worked retail, rolled into one.”

Tim lets out a low whistle. “Damn, all right. Get fucked Elias.”

Sasha emphatically agrees, “Get fucked Elias.”

They all clink their glasses together, and then there’s a beat of silence before Martin says, “I’m pretty sure robots can’t get eye bags.”

Tim and Sasha let out a “huh” and “hmm?” respectively, so Martin elaborates. “You posited that Jon had been replaced with a robot. Pretty sure robots aren’t able to look that tired.”

Tim snaps. “Drat, you’ve pointed out the one flaw in my impeccable logic. So what d’you think is up with him? I know you don’t have the Before The Archives comparison, but I think you could provide a fresh perspective.”

“Oh, fuck, I don’t know. Two months ago, I might have had some choice words, but first off, you all genuinely got on, so it didn’t really make sense for him to be awful all the time, and secondly ever since the, um, worm thing, he’s actually been pretty nice? I haven’t heard any snide comments, and whenever I mess something up he’s a lot more, um, gentle about explaining what wrong. He actually complimented my work the other day so. I guess I think Jon’s deal was that he was stressed out and I was very nervous and not very good at my job and he picked up on that?”

“So you think he’s like a horse.”

“Explain.”

“He sensed your fear and he became skittish and irritable in kind.”

“Horses can sense fear?”

“Horses can sense everything.”

“That’s fucked up.”

“Right?”

“Guys, we’ve gone on like four different tangents in one conversation. Martin, I’m very glad to hear that Jon’s changed his behavior towards, because it means I don’t have to yell at him on your behalf, you’re getting to see the person that me and Tim both know who is actually pretty cool, and also mostly because it feeds perfectly into my winning theory.”

“What, you’ve got something better than Martin’s ‘accurate but boring’ reasoning or my ‘super cool but now that I think about it for .5 seconds actually kind of a bummer robot’ knowledge?”

Sasha’s incredibly self-assured when she says, “I sure fuckin’ do. Jon’s secretly been in love with Martin the whole time, and he’s been previously overcompensating by acting like he hates him.” which makes Tim choke on air and Martin emphatically reply, “Fuck off, he is not.”

“No, no, hear me out, I have, I have receipts, as the kids say. First point of evidence: Martin’s stupid hot, and there’s no way that Jon is straight, so obviously he’s not gonna be impervious to that.”

“What?”

“Oh come off it Martin, it’s just a fact. Like, me personally? I don’t even do the whole romance thing, but the first time I ever saw you I blacked out slightly and thought ‘Now there’s a man I could raise some ferrets with.’.”

“I, um, I, well. Is that...supposed to be a euphemism for something?”

“What? No, I’ve just always wanted ferrets, and asking someone to raise pets with you is like the height of romance, I’m pretty sure. Back me up here Tim.”

“On the ferret thing or the Martin hot thing?”

“Either? Both.”

“Aight. Yes, asking someone to raise ferrets with you is basically a marriage proposal if that someone is Sasha, and I hate to break it to you Martin, but you’re incredibly good-looking. We’re all incredibly good-looking, to the point where I think the only qualification for the archives staff is being a straight up hottie. OH! We should name the group chat “straight up hottie squad”. Anyway, yep, point for Sasha.”

“Not a point for Sasha, even if I believe you about about my, em, physical attractiveness,-”

“-Don’t have to put belief in a fact, Marto-”

“-that doesn’t mean anything. By that logic, he’s equally as likely to be in love with either of you, and my money would be on Sasha if it was anyone, because you’re clearly his favorite.”

“Ah, but that’s exactly why it isn’t me, but thank you for the transition into my second point which is: Jon is the kind of person that sees anything that might make him vulnerable and starts aggressively defending himself against it, and what’s more vulnerable than a crush? He’s not crushing on Tim, because Tim’s fucking great, but sometimes he’s also the walking, talking embodiment of sensory overload, and while I myself I love that, Jon clearly gets a bit overwhelmed by it at times. He’s not into me, because he knows better than that, and overall I’m pretty non-threatening to his whole thing, so of course he’s going to be the most relaxed around me. You, on the other hand, are single, hot, kind to animals and people alike, and make a great cup of tea. Incredibly crush worthy, thus incredibly threatening, thus Jon acting like That.”

“Hmm, this still seems like something that comes from watching one too many corny rom coms, and that’ s coming from someone who loves corny rom coms.”

“I also love corny rom coms, but that’s completely beside the point. Because, okay, sure, if Jon had just been a weird asshole to you, I wouldn’t be like ‘oh, yeah, that’s a classic case of covering for something’ but you’re right about him being nicer since the worm thing. So nice, in fact, I shall be bringing in Timothy as my star witness that’s going to blow this whole case wide open. Martin, you may not have heard how Jon has started to talk about you, but me and Tim sure have.”

“God, yeah. Like if we thought he wouldn’t shut up about you before-

“-which he wouldn’t-”

“it’s gotten way worse now.”

“I think the whole life threatening worm woman flipped a switch for him and now he’s all fuckin. ‘Oh, Martin should stay in the archives, let me give him the place that I sleep.”

“Oh, Martin, I don’t think he should go out on too many research trips anymore, I’d much prefer for him to be ~nice and close~”

“Oh, Martin, good lord, did you know that his tea is quite good? I’m think it might actually be the best I’ve ever had.”

“Oh, Martin, his work’s rather improved, don’t you think? It’s really quite impressive, especially considering all the stress he’s had to endure.”

“Oh, Martin, I just want him to take me into his big, strong arms and whisk me away from all of this.”

“He did not fucking say that last one.”

Sasha throws her arms up in the air. “He may as well have!”

Nodding sagely, Tim replies, “This whole thing holds water. I vote Sasha gets the shopping trip. Martin?”

Martin stares at his drink as if it has any ability to give him any sort of answers, then lets out a sigh with his entire body. “You know what? It’s probably nicer than whatever the fuck is the truth, so sure, why not? Let’s get Sasha her cardigans.”

Sasha lets out a whoop. “Hell yeah! Can’t wait for spree, assuming all three of us get out of this cabin alive.”

“Okay, nope, clearly Sasha needs another distraction. Got any suggestions, Martin?”

“Uh, wasn’t a karaoke machine part of the sales pitch for this place?”

“Martey babey, yes! I wouldn’t have thought you’d spring for that sort of thing!”

“If this were a public bar or something where I’d have to listen to drunk strangers and they’d have to listen to me, then no, I’d rather have my brain pulled through my nose a la mummification. But with only you guys and fourish drinks in? I’m down to clown.”

“Sash, you with us?”

“Dunno, what songs are there?”

Tim shrugs, and heads to the storage closet that contains all the various entertainment equipment. It takes a bit of searching, and a bit more digging, but he’s able to unearth the ancient portable karaoke machine. He also grabs some of the jigsaws, mostly on the thought that sometimes a bitch just wants to hang out with their friends and do a puzzle. Also because in light of the fact that they’re stuck inside with no sort of access to the outside world for two days longer than planned, there’s pretty much no way that they’re not going to reach a point where they all say fuck it let’s do a puzzle.

Plugging in the machine, it takes a solid several minutes to boot up, which is the perfect length of time to take it upon himself to take one for the team and chug the box wine himself, with Sasha and Martin chanting in the background. When he finishes, they cheer, and then Martin immediately shoves a glass of water for him to down as well, muttering something about how he wants him to be alive in the morning. Tim can tell he’s well inebriated by now, because the simple thoughtful gesture is enough to make him a little bit misty-eyed, and Sasha can attest to alcohol turning him into the world’s biggest sap. In order to avoid prevent himself from becoming the kind of person who says “I love you” in a gradually more sloppy repeat, he starts flipping through the discography of the now running machine. “Alright y’all, it looks like we got 80s songs or...80s songs. Ooo, they have the Grease 2 soundtrack.”

That gets him a well deserved “No!” from both parties, with Sasha adding on, “Not even if it was Grease 1. I’m putting an embargo on musical theater in general.”

“Oh come on, some musicals are better than other. Right, Marto?”

“I’m with Sasha on this one.”

“Boo. But fine, what do you want?”

Martin and Sasha glance at each other, and Tim’s amazed at how well the bonding night-turned-long-weekend has gone so far, considering they seem to have already mastered the art of silent communication. Martin speaks first, with, “They got Dolly Parton?”

The process of scrolling through individual letters to type is achingly slow, but luckily all he needs to get through is “DO” before she shows up. “They do.”

Sasha says, “Do they got 9 to 5, by Dolly Parton?”

Tim’s eyes light up with realization as he says, “They do,” and in a moment of spontaneous understanding, all three of them know that they’re not simply going to sing 9 to 5. No, they’re going to do a  full blown music video for the benefit for nobody but themselves, because why the fuck not.

The next hour is spent in a very silly fashion. They figure out how to use the cabin’s layout to their advantage, assign various parts of the song to each person, and practice their inexpert choreography a few times with the song tinnily blasting from Sasha’s phone. The final result is hardly of professional quality, but it is of making them all giggle quality. It starts off in a relay like manner, each of them in a different area to coordinate with “Tumble of out bed and stumble to the kitchen” (Sasha on the couch), “Pour myself a cup of ambition”, (Tim at the coffemaker), and “Yawn and stretch and try to come to life” (Martin at the fridge), with them finally crowding around the karaoke machine together to scream sing the chorus. Despite their practice, they quickly go off key, and while they might end up with low points for accuracy, they get full marks on enthusiasm.

When the song ends, it takes them a few minutes to settle down into something less giddy. As they do, Sasha, out of breath, says, “Fuck me, I’m sleepy now. What the hell?”

Tim hums in affirmation. “Goddammit, I’m tired too. Let me guess, Martin, you’re young enough that you could go all night?”

“No? I’ve never pulled an all-nighter in my life. Actually, I know that it was supposed to be in case the power went out, but huddling together under a blanket in front of a fire sounds really nice? I mean, um, if you guys were down.”

Sasha leans her head against Martin’s shoulder and takes on the expression of a deeply content cat. “Mmm, I call Martin, he’s warm.”

“Absolutely not, I also want to leech Martin’s warmth. You good with being in the middle?”

Martin’s practically beaming, but his voice manages to almost fake being put upon. “I suppose it’s a sacrifice I could make.”

With Sasha already half asleep, Martin brings her over to the couch, while Tim gets them all set up. He manages to find the kind of big, fluffy blanket that all cabins should contain and wraps it around their shoulders. Luckily for them, the fireplace is gas lit and can be put on a timer. He sets it for 30 minutes, even though all three of them are going to be long passed out before them. Sasha is already softly snoring away, and Martin’s head keeps drifting down and snapping back up. Tim curls up against Martin’s other side, and even though all three of them are going to wake up with aching backs and worse heads, he thinks he really just might be a genius after all.

*Why is Mr. Boddy’s name Dr. Black in the UK. I hate that. Why would you not have the dumb joke of  naming the victim “boddy”. Hey brits explain your crimes.

[lastoutpost]

sam stan ask game!!!! @stanfordsams​​ thanks for tagging me!

Sibling status (younger, middle, older, only child…) -   Only child!

How long have you been stanning for -  I started watching in 2012 and stopped watching after I finally watched s8 on boxset, around 2013/2014 sometime? (I *begged* my dad to take me to Walmart so I could buy it the day it was released) and after binging the whole thing I just... thought it sucked really bad....and started to fall out of the fandom. 2020 slingshotted me back into old obsessions though. I can have a little sam winchester to cope

Favorite Sam era -  sam is my baby in every single season BUT hence the URL, i love bitchy sanctimonious grieving psychic awakening sam from s1 SO much. baby faced coconut head bangs king <3

Favorite spn season, but if the only criteria was Sam’s hair - season 2 or 3 definitely. he has a rough patch while it’s growing out for a couple seasons and it finally looks good again in like, season 11, but peak sam is short haired sam. he looks like a lesbian and i love it for him <3

Favorite Sam-centric episode - does croatoan count??? that’s an absolute banger of an episode from start to finish....the codependency....the crying....i love everything about it. if that doesn’t count tho then born under a bad sign, jared is SO good at acting unhinged. honorable mention to playthings, the greatest episode of all time (jirt)

Any ships you may like to mention -   samruby. why? genevieve padalecki sexiest woman alive and sam drinking demon blood was his RIGHT he DESERVED a hot girl summer. one of the fundamental reasons i get obsessed with this show is the extremely fucked up character dynamics and samruby really fits the bill

Favorite song you would/have put in a Sam playlist -  numb by linkin park............this is so chaotically embarassing of me and i don’t even listen to linkin park anymore but that song is such a sam song, esp around s4/s5, that i have to believe it was written about him only

If you could steal one thing from Sam’s wardrobe, it would be - purple dog shirt!!!! i actually used to own one and outgrew it and when i finally get another stable job i am going to order another one <3 it’s my right as a lesbian and as a s1 sam stan

Complete the sentence: If Sam cishet, why... -  if sam cishet, then why unclean in the biblical sense?

Favorite unhinged Sam moment -  full on ugly crying-sobbing about having to kill werewolf gf in heart and refusing to let dean do it because she asked *him* to, and how this parallels the season arc of sam begging dean to kill him if he has to

You must have some intense headcanons you need to talk about, tell me one Sam hc that drives you insane - in the spn that lives in my head, sam is a lesbian so....that is my favorite headcanon i love to imagine lesbian sam struggling to put up with misogynistic dean and his femaleness/homosexuality heavily contributing to her feeling of being unclean and fundamentally wrong/sinful. in terms of headcanons that fit the actual show i love how multifaceted we know sam to be, even though we see so little of it on screen -- he’s smart and nerdy but into health and fitness and is kind and compassionate, likes children and animals, etc. when dean dies and sam settles down with his family, he gets & trains a therapy dog (that looks a lot like riot who he had to leave behind with amelia) and takes it to help sick kids in the hospital <3 ALSO after leaving the hunting life he becomes a nurse since he’s basically been a field medic since birth. oh and ALSO he loves to cross-stitch even though his ginormous hands make it hard <3 OK I AM DONE but i could definitely keep going. oh and btw he’s gay and his blurry wife was actually a man. dean jr is the biological son of a hunter that gets killed on a hunt. OK IM DONE FOR REAL

Tell me something about the hbo Sam that lives in your brain -  i’m gonna be honest i’ve never seen hbo in my life so i don’t really want to say anything inaccurate but i wish in a more gritty or grimdark version of spn sam’s mental illnesses and his suicidality, disordered eating, etc would have more screentime.

Oh no, the writers forgot to give Jess a personality! Now it’s up to you. Tell me, what was Jess like - I feel like jess was the epitome of an all-american girl. I bet she was raised solidly upper-middle-class with two parents who loved her and had respectable jobs. she has a sister who lives in a different state who she is close with but in a normal way. and part of what sam adores about her is she’s just so...Normal...she’s like his embodiment of his ultimate fantasy and desire to live the American dream. i feel like that’s exactly why demon brady introduces her to sam, because he knows she is sam’s perfect fantasy of an apple pie life. And despite being so Normal she’s supportive, kind, insanely witty, and sees through sam’s defenses and deflections instantly. she knows there is something Wrong About His Life and doesn’t care. even if he can’t tell her the truth about his childhood he knows she would believe and love him if he could tell her, and he loves that about her. she pushes him outside his comfort zone a little bit to make him enjoy college a little bit more and always beats him at any game they try and play. i miss jess and i hope she and sam get to reunite in heaven!!!!

)Biggest injustice Supernatural committed against Sam (be as brief or as ranty as you desire) - i’ve only watched up through the first part of s11 so i don’t know what else bullshit will happen in the course of the show, but as of right now I would say gadreel possession. sam was ready to give up his life to shut the gates of hell and dean stopped him, had gadreel take his form to trick sam into agreeing to be possessed, and then lied/gaslit/emotionally abused sam about it for weeks (months?) and gets extremely upset when sam has the gall to be mad about it. after how much he has suffered being a vessel for lucifer, for having no autonomy over his life at all, this was just so cruel of dean and i’m so mad that the show never lets him get really fucking mad about it!

And finally, just say something about him that makes you smile ♥ - he has so much faith in everything and everyone despite how hard his life has been and how much he has been punished for his faith repeatedly throughout his life. he is a good man who will give himself up for others or the greater good in an instant. and he looks like a very huggable puppy despite being extremely muscular <3 sam is my ultimate comfort character.

i tag, anyone who follows me and wants to do this but hasn’t yet! tag me in your responses so I can read them if you do it <3

[aprincessofdaxam]

So here's the thing. When the Supergirl S3 finale aired, I absolutely hated it. And it took me nearly a year to be willing to watch it again. Because not only was I just flat-out upset because I ship Karamel and because my two favorite characters were written off the show (although at least they have each other - wait, do you hear that sound? It’s the sound of Imra screaming from the 31st century as Mon-El and Winn drive her nuts) ...

But Mon-El’s final scene? With the speech about how for a minute he thought maybe, just maybe, this was his place? Gutted me. Absolutely gutted me. We all get set off by different things, and I kid you not, that scene gave me a wicked surprise attack of homesickness and I literally cried until 4 a.m. (sometimes I hate you and your emotive acting, Chris Wood).

(complete gifset from @the-karamel-blob here)

But you know what, a year down the pike? I don't hate it. Don’t get me wrong. I'm still pretty bitter about the Karamel bait-and-switch, I still miss our outer space stray puppy terribly, and I call total BS on the "it was always a two-year arc" thing, but I actually think it was a really beautiful and meaningful send-off for Mon-El in that moment.

And anyway, it's been awhile since I've written a literal essay about Mon-El and our space puppies so LET'S CHAT. Novel on the S3 finale beneath the cut, for dash prettiness.

(also included: Why I still think Karamel is endgame, why I think Mon-El will be back, what I really think went down behind the scenes, and what Winn's appearance in S5 might mean)

Tagging @peggystormborn and @facepalming-since-chernobyl because why the heck not, you all like character/plot analysis

When Kara first creates her superhero identity, she spends a LOT of time comparing herself to Clark. And others also compare her to Clark - and she internalizes all of it.

"What, Metropolis gets him, and what does National City get? Some rookie superhero?"

"It's funny - that was the first thing he did. Save a plane, I mean."

"If she's anything like him, she's a hero."

"What are you waiting for? Superman would've blown it out by now!"

"Why do you keep criticizing Supergirl for trying to save the city? When Superman started, it was he, he, he. Him, him, him."

"My cousin didn't have a get-out-of-jail-free card when he first started. Neither should I!"

"I was supposed to be the one saving him, not the other way around. How am I supposed to really become a hero if Superman has to keep saving me?"

"If I was in Metropolis, Clark and I could protect the city and keep each other safe. And there's still so much I want to learn from him."

Now, this isn't about whether it's valid to compare Kara to Clark, or about the layers of problems that come in when you start comparing women to men - that's a whole other essay. It's about Kara's feelings, how Kara defines being a hero, and the standard she feels she needs to live up to as a hero. And since this show is built around Kara, Kara's standard for heroism become the show's definition of it, and the standards the other characters in the show should be held to in their various pursuits of goodness in the world, as well.

And that creates a very interesting comparison between Kara's arc through the first two seasons of the show (S1-S2) and Mon-El's arc in the two seasons he's appeared in thus far (S2-S3).

When Kara starts out in her journey, at the start of S1, she is in this headspace where she is constantly comparing herself to Clark. But she learns so much and accomplishes so much and shows so much strength, that by the end of S2, they have moved her to this point in her hero's journey where she is Clark's equal or superior - not only in terms of physical strength (when she defeats him after Rhea brainwashes him with silver K), but in emotional strength, as she chooses the greater good over her own personal self when she has to let Mon-El go. And her status at that point is by Clark's own admission - the person she was trying to live up to all that time.

"I think it goes far beyond 'the right thing.' I couldn't have done it, Kara. I'm humbled by you. Yeah, I'd like to think that if it came down to a choice between Lois and the world .... but I don't think I could."

So how does that relate to Mon-El's journey? Because there are a lot of parallels between Kara's hard decision at the end of S2, and his hard decision at the end of S3. And if, at the end of S2, we're supposed to see Kara as a fully-realized hero, a true champion, then that's how he's sent off as well (I'd definitely argue that Mon-El showed brave and heroic qualities even in S2, even while on a steep learning curve, but go with me here, because the parallel is really meaningful when you get to it)

Just as Kara held Clark up as her bar for being a hero, Mon-El holds Kara up as his ideal and his definition of a hero when he starts off on his journey - to the point where he eventually founds the Legion in her image.

"And whether we're together or not, being near her, it makes me a better person. It makes me the person that I want to be."

"I think we could all stand to be a little more like you. More optimistic and brave."

"I mean, you do that every day. I don't even understand it. You make it look so easy to do the right thing that you wouldn't even guess that it's that hard. But it's hard. You sacrifice a lot for everyone else, and I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record here, but I admire you.

"I promise I'm going to be the man that you thought I could be. I promise."

You inspired me. So when I founded the Legion, I chose to use you as an example of what we could be. Of what we aspire to be."

"We base the entire philosophy of the Legion on Supergirl. Have you considered that she might have the right approach here?"

And just as Kara faces that harsh decision at the end of S2 that she needs to give Mon-El up for the greater good, Mon-El faces an identical decision at the end of S3. And, just like Kara (who made a decision Superman himself says he couldn't have made, who is a true champion), Mon-El makes that hard call.

And just as Clark told Kara when she made that hard call that he was humbled by her, validating her admiration of him, Kara gives Mon-El her hero's blessing of his decision, too. Now, I don't think these writers are particularly clever or good at continuity :P But they use the word "admire" so consistently between Karamel that I have to believe it's a deliberate choice. Mon-El tells Kara throughout S2, as he's learning, how much he admires her. And his journey takes him to a place where Kara is able to return that word to him, sincerely and meaningfully.

"There wasn't much to inspire me on Daxam." "What about the prince?" "He wasn't worth admiring. But I wanna be."

"I mean, you do that every day. I don't even understand it. You make it look so easy, to do the right thing that you wouldn't even guess that it's that hard. But it's hard. You sacrifice a lot for everyone else and I know I'm beginning to sound like a broken record here but I admire you."

"You wouldn't be the man you are, if you did. The man I admire so much."

(Tacking on to this because there’s plenty of other things to read and link to here - there was an excellent discussion we had a long time ago about Kara’s emotions and reactions during this scene where @emarasmoak and @i-am-aci01 had some great catches)

The other thing that strikes me as a parallel between Kara and Mon-El in those two season finales is the dissonance between the two of them, who have made the hard, heroic choices, and everyone else.

At the end of S2, everyone seems happy except Kara, who proceeds to isolate herself. Alex and Maggie get engaged. J'onn and M'gann are (temporarily) together. Winn and James are currently successful in their vigilante superhero forays. Clark goes home to Lois.

And at the end of S3? Mostly, our characters are happy. Kara says she's decided where her true home is, but knows her mother is safe. Winn is setting off to the future, where he knows he's important and needed. Imra has her sister back. Alex has her new role and plans to pursue parenthood. J'onn has lost his father, but is setting off on his new path. James reveals himself as Guardian. And Mon-El makes a decision out of duty that guts him. @sweeter-than put it very well: "Everyone else in this episode got an optimistic season’s end coda. Meanwhile, Mon-El is leaving the love of his life to go fight a dangerous war. ... [He] is the only character framed as being separated from his ideal destiny, where the destiny and the obligation have no middle ground."

Now we've talked about what this show wanted to tell us here. Are they saying you can't have it all - which, in Kara's case, is an inherently more complicated discussion because she's a woman? That heroes are always doomed to sacrifice? That work-life balance is a joke?

I think what's MORE IMPORTANT though, and the real message, is what Cat tells Kara (and hell, the title of the S2 finale itself). It applies in both cases. It really applies.

"You, my dear, are on a hero's journey. And yes, you have hit an obstacle, but you will soar right over it."

That's the message.

MOVING ON!

.....

I think that applying that statement to Mon-El is part of why I feel so strongly that his story isn't over yet. Because he's on a hero's journey. The story the show was telling with this character was someone evolving into a hero, someone who is a sympathetic character, someone we're supposed to root for. And how could the final picture of him we have at the moment, where he's so sad and so weighted down, be our final picture of that character? Yeah, the innermost cave, belly of the whale, whatever you want to call it, is part of the hero's journey. But just as Kara goes into those depths and then emerges to find triumph and happiness again, I have to believe they're not going to leave another character they spent so much time investing in that unhappy. We're going to see him again, and they'll give him a happy ending. Or, if they can't work out another appearance for him, because we're talking about real people with a lot of moving parts, we'll get some sort of confirmation he's happy (more on that in a second). They're not going to leave him at loose ends if they can help it.

Now when I talk about them investing in the character - think not just about the storytelling, with this slow burn they had going with Karamel throughout S3, but about the level of promotion during that season, especially the back half. They had Mon-El in the CW midseason sizzle reel, and in a number of promotional posters/photos. They built up to the red-and-blue suit SO MUCH, and why do all of that if it was something you were only going to use for a literal handful of episodes? Some of those pieces of evidence, plus the slow burn/abrupt shift storytelling, plus how open-ended they left things with the relationship, makes me call TOTAL BS on the "it was always a two-season arc thing," and makes me keep believing Karamel is still endgame.

IMHO, Karamel has always been written with that endgame-ish type of storytelling - enemies-to-lovers trope, true love's kiss, spending so much time re-building the relationship between them, etc, etc, etc. You all know what I'm talking about. ((And please note, even though this could be another essay entirely, just because I think they're endgame doesn't mean I think neither character should ever be in another relationship again. I think you LEARN things from every relationship you're in, and Mon-El and Kara were both relatively inexperienced relationship-wise when they got together - Mon-El came from a planet of hedonists where he had flings, not relationships, and Kara had crushes that she couldn't really act on because broken noses, amirite? There were things I genuinely loved about Mon-El and Imra. And I'm not freaked about the possibility of a midgame LI for Kara - it wouldn't lessen my feelings about this being endgame))

Anyway - the story they were telling throughout S3 pointed to Karamel reuniting. They really dialed it up through the final episodes with the robot-cockblocked conversation on Argo (actually everything on Argo - Mon-El with the kid and Kara's heart eyes, the double date, etc, etc, etc), Mon-El pulling out the necklace at opportune moments to remind the viewers he never forgot her, Kara’s multiple conversations with Alura about him (there’s a cut scene from the finale, as well, where Alura tells her that love stories are never simple), Mon-El’s conversation with Winn about not being able to lose her again. They point at it, and then do an abrupt about-face in the finale. I really think that they were heading toward a reunion. We’ll never know exactly what happened behind the scenes, and I know people have different theories, but my gut feeling is that they were discussing behind the scenes whether or not Chris would be back for S4, the writers headed toward their planned ending (a Karamel reunion and a relationship in S4) while hedging their bets with the slow burn, and Chris ultimately made the decision to leave late in the game, and so the writers threw the switch in the finale.

Again, this is entirely me speculating, but I think that Chris made the call to leave not only because he's a multifaceted person who had other behind-the-scenes things he wanted to pursue in the field, but because he walks the walk with his own mental health, and we all know there is a LOT of bullshit that flies around with this show on social media, etc. I'm reading a LOT between the lines here, but the S3 finale aired on June 18, 2018, so I'm assuming they were doing some editing and locking down of the things in May. Chris posted this the first week of May 2019. Excerpts -

"Well look at that: it’s Mental Health Month again! And what interesting timing for me, personally… let’s talk about it. This year has tested me in so many ways." "And while you’re at it, use this occasional toxic and negative platform for something positive and good." "Sending love and kindness to everyone, even the trolliest of trolls out there."

BUT ANYWAY.

Faced with the resources they had and the information they had, the writers still chose to leave things SO OPEN between Karamel. The original draft of the finale - which was shared by @emarasmoak + @snarkymonel ages ago, had a line from Mon-El, “Part of me will always mourn that our paths did not align … But I will always cherish knowing you.” That, to me, suggests a much more FINAL goodbye - and that line was cut, in favor of what we got - where there wasn't really a goodbye, because it might not be one. And the ring and the “In case you ever need me” is definitely a door left WIDE the hell open. The ring is a deus ex machina in case they ever want to use the character again.

My gut feeling - and again, with no inside information - is that Chris didn't want to be a regular anymore, for a number of reasons, but that he didn't leave on bad circumstances, and that he'd be happy to do a guest appearance because he wouldn't be walking into an ONGOING shitstorm (especially if it was something toward the end of the series run).

And regarding the other news we're starting to get about S5: I don't think the fact that Winn and Mon-El left together, and we've heard about Winn coming back but not Mon-El, means he WON'T be back. They could be dribbling out information a bit at a time to keep people interested as a marketing strategy - the Crisis crossover is the most ambitious thing they've EVER done, and you know they'll want to keep ramping up the excitement up all the way from now until December. They could have finished negotiating with Jeremy first while they're still working on Chris for that, or for another event down the line. Supergirl has a lot of "big event" potential coming up, between the crossover, the milestone 100th episode, Melissa's debut as a director, and they've got to be thinking ahead down the line to the eventual end of the series. All of those are things they'll want to really build up excitement for and maybe have some familiar faces around for.

I DO believe that Winn's appearance will tell us something about if, or how, they intend to use Mon-El again at any point, however. Look, the two of them are close. I wasn't that cranky when Brainy didn't mention Mon-El much last season - I got the impression they were more coworkers than friends, things were tense between them for a solid chunk of time over Brainy's role in Imra's secret plan, and then there was some SERIOUS snark thrown between them in the S3 finale in a cut scene (as for Brainy's one mention of Mon-El and his comment about "microagressions," we all dissected that here). I will be cranky if Winn, who has always been a close friend to Mon-El and is coming directly back to the story from working with Mon-El, doesn't mention him. But again, I think that mention will tell us a lot about the future of the character. He could tell the Superfriends (and thus, the audience) that Mon-El has reconciled with Imra, or has moved on to someone else (side note - in the comic canon, Mon-El's pet name for ShadowLass is "Shady" and I think that's adorable). He could even have some sort of tragic news about him, which seems less probable to me, because why go through the trouble of bringing him back from the dead in the S3 finale and then leaving things so open-ended if you were going to kill him offscreen? On the other hand, if Winn tells Kara Mon-El says hey, or he misses you (she misses him too!) or if they have some sort of heartfelt conversation about him, then that's obviously a positive sign.

I mean, who am I kidding, I have epic trust issues from their bait-and-switch with this story and I don’t trust any of the writers/showrunners as far as I can throw them and I am about three inches from FLIPPING OUT over this entire situation :P But I don’t feel so bad after some deep analysis.

[juvellita]

messy kbtbb character analysis

So… Let me just say that this is going to be LONG and MESSY post. I will try my best to make an analysis of all Kbtbb characters. Eisuke’s might be the longest, just because know about him more than any other bidders. This is more geared towards to those people who still have negative misconception about KBTBB. I get it. Their season 1 prologue did not give the best impression of those guys. I want to give you an insight of characters’ past, and why they are the way they were when MC first met them. PLEASE feel free to express your thoughts/ add on the comment section/reblogging! Let me know of what I am missing from character. I want to hear your analysis of characters too.

MORE UNDER

First things first. Let’s jog back to season 1.  I know MANY people did not like this game in the beginning because how it hinted on human trafficking. Let me clear this out first; when Eisuke and other bidders created the auction, they made a rule of not selling any human in an auction, unless they are willing to be sold. This is mentioned in Episode 0: The Promise substory.  

That’s not all though. Bidders approached mc in almost..inhuman manner. They treated her as a weird creature that they have never seen before.  Why do you ask? All bidders have some sort tragic/traumatic past that cannot be easily cured. I have mentioned this briefly in my “short bidder’s complexity summary” post, but every single one of them has a reason why they cannot trust anyone that easily. Let’s look at each character in depth.

Let’s start with Ota and Eisuke, since these two characters were the MOST controversial characters when they were first released ( I apologize in advance if I miss anything for Ota. I have played his route every now and then, but I never actually read all his stories). WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD if you haven’t read any of their stories yet. Also… ALOT OF FAWNING UNDER EISUKE’S

First, Ota Kisaki (The Angelic Artist).

Essential Question: Why does he treat MC like a pet at first?

He was an unique artist ever since when he was little. No one acknowledged his art, except this guy named Doi (I believe), who was an artist.  He keeps encouraging Ota to continue with his art, regardless of how others thought his art was so weird.  This kind of event makes Ota ABSOLUTELY trust in Doi. He was the only one who supported his art preferences. Why is there reason not to trust him? Until… Doi plagiarized Ota’s work, and claim it as his own. At that time Doi was much of bigger artist than Ota, so Ota didn’t have any power to fight back that it was a lie. This.. made tragic mark on him. He refuses to trust anyone. I mean, it’s arguable right? Doi WAS the only one he trusted (before MC came into his life of course). He then creates this facade of “Angelic Artist”. It was his way of separating between the real him and the expectations from the others. That way, he wouldn’t  have to go through the pain he went through again. When he first met MC, he called her ‘Koro’. The name ‘Koro’ was a way for him to put a distance with MC, since he refused to trust anyone after his most trusted companion betrayed him. A lot of people argue that how he treated MC like a pet was inhumane. I understand this also, because trust me… I was one of those people. However, the main purpose for calling her ‘Koro’ wasn’t to treat her like a pet. He was simply..afraid of getting close to another person and being hurt again. Koro starts out as a way to put boundary between MC and Ota. As the season continues, it becomes affectionate nickname for MC.

Eisuke Ichinomiya.

Essential Question: Why is he inhumanly cold?

Oh man, You all know how much I LOVE Eisuke (I mean.. Just look at my shet spam on my blog). I will try my best not to only fawn over him in the duration of this post.

Where do I even begin with Eisuke? I mean, I think his first description was “Cold-hearted billionaire”. He probably went through A LOT during his career.  But If you still think he is cold-hearted, please look at all my screenshot spams. At least to Mc, he turns squishy marshmellow. When MC gives him that puppy dog eyes or when she smiles at him with uncontrollable happiness, there is NO way this man can say no to her.

In his Childhood Promise Substory, Eisuke only wanted power to save and protect ones he cared about and himself. He might come off as only selfish person in the beginning, but as story progresses on, you will know that is not true. He has difficult time expressing things in words.

Let’s first look at his family background. “Ichinomiya” isn’t his actual biological name. When he was young, his family went bankrupt. His father disappeared (Eisuke finds him again in season 5), and shortly after his mother’s health got worse and passed away.  He got separated from his little sister (who he finds again in his s1 sequel), and Akira Ichinomiya adopts Eisuke, who was good friend of his biological father. Before meeting MC, everyone who approached him, only approached him for his power and money. Up until his S1 epilogue, he used to have a groupies, who were obsessed with Eisuke. When he sees them shet talking about MC, he threatens them he will ban them if they keep on creating a scene in his hotel (and we never see them again after that).  Anyways, back to my point. These groupies only loved Eisuke for his money, power, and looks. Did they know a single thing about Eisuke? I doubt it. He only kept them around because he needed someone to numb his loneliness(numbing doesn’t solve any problem. He knew this, but regardless, he needed someone.). But beneath that cold facade, he was an absolutely lonely person. No one really loved him for he was.  He was craving for genuine love, but no one gave that to him.. He have gave up on the idea of getting that love..Until Mc came to his life. MC was the only one who was able to see through Eisuke, and realize he is lonely. She never approached him for his power or money, and he realizes that her actions and thoughts toward him are genuine.  (Seriously… read his pov if you have not, because they are the VERY reason why I LOVE Eisuke so much.) But he sometimes have wonders about what love is, since he was never used to being loved so genuinely by someone. In his season 3, he has doubts that his adoptive father actually loved him. Everyone around him only saw him as a man ‘capable’ of handling business. However, when he confronts Akira about it, he says that he wanted Eisuke to understand family love. He also claims how he is happy that Eisuke has finally found someone who can love him unconditionally (referring to MC).  Then throughout multiple s3 substories (such as his bday story, under his protection, etc ...), you can see how the definition of ‘love’ changed for him. At first, he thought it was unnecessary thing (meaningless to say aloud). However as him and mc gets close in relationship, he notices expressing love for someone you love is important (hint s5).  We also see that he is emotionally unstable. Mc is his big emotion supporter. You can see his emotion breaking through BIG TIME when MC gets in life or death danger (refer to my Desperate moment post if you haven’t already).

I want to also bring this to light: Eisuke has so many enemies. I don’t know what stuff he really did, but I can say some are just falsely created by some influential being.  If you ever played Eisuke’s s2, do you remember how Shuichi and Hikaru approached Eisuke? Hikaru was assigned to assassinate Eisuke, believing that he was the one who killed his parents. Same goes for Shuichi. He at first believed that Eisuke was behind everything that happened to his family. However, after s2, they somehow realize that that is not the case. Some mastermind was controlling them to get rid of Eisuke. This still reminds mystery. I really hope they cover this in his s6 or s6.5.

A lot of thing that I mentioned for Eisuke, I have already mentioned through my screenshot posts, or other bloggers have said it already. It might sound repetitive, but I cannot enforce enough, how much mc means to Eisuke. She is basically his life, one existence that will drive him insane if MC is in trouble in any way (but then again, Eisuke is so extra sometimes LOL). He will literally do ANYTHING to make happy. Mc isn’t a selfish person, so this won’t EVER happen but, in theory ( I DID SAY IN THEORY, SO DON’T FREAK OUT), if she ever wanted someone to disappear because they have hurted her ever since she was little, Eisuke will not hesitate to make that come true (actually he will do it before she even mentions it). He believes that anyone who makes mc sad should not exist (at least not close to them). I mean… he even says this to his own son LOL.  He will not hesitate to keep mc in his penthouse all day if he feels like she is in danger. Only reason why he doesn’t do this much anymore is because he knows how much mc doesn’t like that . This is where yandere eisuke came from because of how he is sometimes abnormally OBSESSED with MC. I mean...installing security cameras all around his hotel JUST for MC’s safety (and to check on her ...for his benefit).  This just proves how all sense of his ‘logic’ flies out of window when it comes to MC. He perhaps might not know the ‘normal’ way to express his love, but he tries his best to show MC that he loves her. And mc knows this.

Any ways… I am gonna end my Eisuke post here… if I continue I will end up fawning more over him.  SORRY I WAS SUPPOSED TO ANALYZE. I ENDED UP FAWNING

Baba Mitsunari

Essential Question: Why is he known as ‘playboy’?

There are many theories that this man has depression, which I honestly can see why. He is the nicest bidder in everyone’s route. He usually says hi to MC first when she comes in the penthouse, and cheers her up when she is seriously feeling down.  He is quick to lend a hand when any of bidders are in trouble.  His man has a tragedy… of not being able to truly love anyone, because he is scared that his ‘thief’ title will hurt the one he loves. He also wants to be loved like Eisuke and Ota, and give love, but he is SCARED.  Unlike Eisuke or Ota though, Baba has tendency to deprecating himself.  He once genuinely fell in love with this girl named Cynthia. However, he decides to leave her because he was scared that he would hurt her because of his career as a thief.

I have said it once, but I honestly think Baba is underestimated as a character. If I look at him closely enough, he probably is saddest character in KBTBB. Sad i mean…only one who probably realizes that he is sad. Other bidders are too prideful or disinterested in emotional feelings before mc comes in. Baba is probably the only character who is fully aware of what he is feeling even before mc coming into his life.  I do not know much about Baba, but I can tell this much from observing him in Eisuke’s route. He only became known as ‘playboy’ because he knew he wasn’t able to stick to one woman without hurting them.  Instead, he tries to numb his depression by having a lot of women around him, which obviously doesnt work.

Mamoru Kishi

Essential Question: Why is he so darn lazy?

You might not believe it but he used to be very passionate about his career. He had a investigation partner named Minami. However, one day, for some mysterious reason he died. Mamoru has made several attempts and proposals to solve the mystery of his death, but interpol has rejected his idea every time he proposed it. They all thought it was unnecessary to reveal that case was closed (in his route, we figure out Aida was behind all this).  From that point on, he realizes how crooked and ‘good for nothing’ his job is, and he loses all motivation to work hard.  I have never played his route so I cannot say much about him. But he is very skilled detective/policeman. He may not seem like it, but the way he gets Eisuke all those confidential information about interloper… i mean, I don’t think normal policeman can do that! In Eisuke’s season 5, Eisuke worries about Mamoru’s job in danger if he went such length to help him. But he assures him that it is fine since he is known as ‘slacker’ and so no one cares about him. He would go full length to uncover the truth once he sets his eyes on something.

Soryu Oh

Essential Question: Why is he allergic to women?

I mean… mainly because of his mafia title. Just like baba, he doesn’t think he deserves ordinary happiness nor could ever get one because of his career. Most times, his job is life or death matter.  He has strong sense of what is ethical and what is not. He would hate to put anyone in danger because of him. Beneath that cold exterior, he is probably most normal person amongst the bidder. He is also the one who is (personality wise) close to describing mc. When he meets mc, and sees her devotion to stick something that she set her mind on, he falls for her.

I also think one main reason why he hated women is because how they were ‘used’ to secure his life. In one of Eisuke’s substory, Soryu mentions that he lost his virgin because it was ‘life or death’ matter. Although it is clearly not addressed, there might be some unspoken reason why he used not like women.

FYI... I typed this out on word doc first... it turned out to be 5 pages...

[dykedteach]

okay so, a liveblog.

i know i haven’t done one of these in a while but it’s the last opportunity i had so, a pure as-i-watch-it liveblog for my own future enjoyment? horror? who knows

(also - last night i dreamt that jaime was still alive after all, and that he and brienne made up but then he poisoned sansa? anyway)

“I’ll find you later.” bitch........no

greyworm don’t you fucking dare babe

please don’t turn greyworm into a villain right at the end just to spite him i will be so mad

i’m so so nervous about tyrion walking through the rubble of the keep because if the twins are dead i absolutely do not want to see visual representation of the fact

the book of the kingsguards deeds im....asdjaskda

they’re going to make me see the fucking bodies aren’t they

okay that scene was so powerful and genuinely one of the saddest i’ve seen on the show and peter dinklage is incredible but i honestly struggled to watch it and i am crying A Lot

they, separately, have been two of my favourites since i started watching and this fucking hurts, i have honestly spent the last week kinda forgetting that they’re dead? and now it’s like. there they are.

also, jaime lannister clown club, my apologies, i so wanted to believe you

if tyrion does something like gives brienne his gold hand i s2g

i miss when jon used to look like he had life in him

 he’s going to have to kill greyworm isn’t he

maybe davos will, actually, he’s never had a big kill

ooooooooooooooh the cinematography of the dragon rising behind her

imagine a regent that actually had wings how cool would that be

repeating her promises to/from the dothraki from like s1 is...a Move

“the queens master of war” ohhhhhh fuck me

god he really does need to die doesn’t he

literally what is she going to do?? march on every fucking city and kill them all? HOW are they “suffering under the wheel” the monarchy is the wheel and you? killed it??

arya use a face

aRyA uSe A fAcE

despite the fact i’ve seen leaks saying otherwise i’m so worried tyrion is gonna die

“I freed my brother” god the regret in his voice im dying

why is jon just chilling

JON BEING A TENDER BIG BROTHER why wasn’t 80% of his screentime this season doing exactly this

i love this version of arya that’s serious but not cold

“did you bring any wine?” oh babe

oof the whole afterlife discussion

oh for fucks sake what is it with the lannister men and laying out their bad deeds at the worst time

jon and tyrion arguing is just the two different halves of twitter arguing all this week

“why does it matter what i do” because you’re a good boy, jon snow!!!

god the acting in this episode so far is phenomenal

am i going to cry every time my dumbass golden idiot is mentioned from now on? bitch i might!

is he REALLY a member of the nights watch anymore? do the nights watch exist anymore? there’s no fucking WALL

is he really gonna just be like.....byeeeeee!!

YES bitch EMOTIONALLY MANIPULATE HIS LOVE OF HIS SIBLINGS its what he NEEDS 

also, just his sisters?? there’s a bran also

i know we kinda forget about him (which will be hilarious by the end of this episode, if the spoilers i’ve seen are right) but

ooooh snowy dragon

shit, i forget, ashy dragon

ITS THE PROPECY

god the score is gorgeous

she’s literally queen of the ashes, fuck

“i imagined a mountain of swords too high to climb” so, like, the book throne then

oh god my upset puppy

this is it oh fuck

oh god

oh i feel so sorry for emilia clarke

oh jon 

oh no drogon!! oh no

god that was quick

oh god when he’s nudging her body i’m so sad

why.....why the throne and not jon....

how does he know the throne is bad i’m?

god the VISUALS

but also....”mom died i’m DESTROYING the CHAIR” feels like a weird jump

god i fucking hate that her story ended like her father’s

we’re halfway through and no brienne, i’m disappointed

how many times now has tyrion had to contemplate his imminent death? bless him

ok so now she’s dead we can please let greyworm go safely to naath or something yeah? he doesn’t have to die or be evil this is fine just user him away

WAIT ITS MY BABY SHES HERE

how the fuck did they get down to KL so quick

WAIT EDMURE

hold um im pausing and rewinding

sam, ?, edmure, starks, WIFE, davos, LORD GENDRY LOOKING FINE, ?, a nights watch i guess? MY LESBIAN, a dornish prince i guess? 

oh okay so obviously this is a little while later, and jon and tyrion have been imprisoned while they wait right?

YARA SHUT UP

god sansa looks stunning

edmure tully gets to do something! yay!

oh my god robin is huge now

“a veteran of two wars” where have you BEEN THOUGH BUDDY

“Uncle, please sit” GOD IMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

robin and royce trying not to laugh, sam trying not to laugh, sansa trying not to laugh, this is too much

“Why just us?” BABEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

SAM CHAMPIONING A DEMOCRACY LIKE A BABE

oh fuck off the lot of you

“who then?” well, brienne obviously

make her queen

i want it

give her a crown of sapphires

“bran the broken” that seems....reductive?

“who has a better story than-” well, you see, lots of people.

“and he can’t father children” i mean, he absolutely probably can?

where’s pod, i miss him

i love my diplomatic daughter

ARYA LOOKS LIKE SHE’S ABOUT TO CRY IM

bran being firm with greyworm i LOVE IT

he will be a good king, i agree with that. some emotion would be nice also.

oh god my poor baby 

“there’s still a nights watch?” MOOD

“no one is very happy.” also a mood

he truly is ned’s boy, isn’t he.

show him saying goodbye to his family you FUCKING COWARDS

he’s sailing for naath after all i’m!! emotional!

where the fuck does arya think she’s going

i hope she has like, a few years travelling and then comes back

oh god arya crying is just

i’m so emotional

oh fuck

oh no i hoped and predicted for this scene weeks ago and wanted it to be in better circumstances but

why isn’t she wearing her blue armour

i can’t count the number of times i’ve paused this scene already to just solidly cry

“Escaped imprisonment and rode south in an attempt to save the capital from destruction. Died protecting his Queen.”

brienne baby i’m so sorry

okay i’m going to distract myself by questioning how the fuck they rebuilt so quickly

HOLY FUCK PEOPLE WERE KINDA RIGHT ABOUT SAM WRITING THE BOOK 

fuckin bronn

oh god she’s HEAD OF THE KINGSGUARD

oh wow i’m so down for bran occasionally warging during meetings and everyone else just being like.......um....excuse us...

SER

PODRICK

FUCKING

PAYNE

“you’re master of grammar now too?” somewhere, in purgatory, a baratheon smiles.

i swear to god, if brienne’s last line is a comment about brothels

(at least she’s not pregnant)

my crack ship came out of this better than my hardcore otp

where’s GHOST

a king, a queen, an explorer, and a pariah.

god but i do love the starks

GHOST

OH god arya’s ship is gorgeous

sansa’s crown is nice but a little too cersei reminiscent for me

i’m just happy tormund is here

okay so actually. overall. and maybe it’s because i saw the leaks for most stuff weeks ago and had time to process it.

i kind of.....enjoyed that for the most part?

certainly the second half.

anyway. that’s it.

fuck me.

[theajaheira]

very really married (9/15)

read it on ao3!

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. WE HAVE AN ACTUAL NUMBER OF CHAPTERS. EXCITING !!!!!!

for real, tho, this started off as a very self-indulgent half-conceived plot bunny that came from me wanting to write a s1 where giles and jenny were fake married, and then it turned into....something...with a plot. incredible. i am so so happy to say that it’s finished, and it’s coherent, and it is something i am so proud of--and i am super looking forward to posting the remaining chapters !!!!

Giles supposed that the mystery of Jenny might trouble him more if he hadn’t gotten to know her so well over the last few months. She had proven so many times over that her primary goal was to protect the people she cared for. It was perhaps foolish of him to trust her so implicitly, but the feeling in his chest when he looked at her felt too strong to be incorrect. It also felt too strong to be simply attraction, but…that was a problem to be addressed later, he hoped. There were other problems they were facing at the moment.

“Principal Snyder’s trying to leverage that one time he saw us holding hands in a faculty meeting to get me to pass all the athletes taking his class,” Jenny was telling Giles, carding her fingers absently through his hair. Her wedding ring caught briefly, but the light tug just made Giles smile. He liked being reminded that it was his wife sitting atop his desk while he took his tea. “And I was like, I mean, we’ve done so much worse on the premises. Didn’t you feel me up in a broom closet on Monday?”

“You make it sound so crass,” said Giles, his smile widening. Leaning back in his office chair, he tilted his head back to rest it in Jenny’s lap.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Jenny, and leaned down to kiss him. “Didn’t you rest your hand upon my heaving bosom on Monday?”

“That’s worse,” said Giles seriously, delighting in Jenny’s laugh. “That’s—that’s terrible romance novel language, Jenny.”

“A poet I am not,” said Jenny unapologetically. She grinned, thoughtful. “Can you come up with something better?”

Giles considered this, resting his cheek on her leg as he did so. “I felt you up in a broom closet on Monday,” he conceded. “Though if I recall, you did a fair amount of feeling up in return.”

“And who could blame me?” Jenny kissed him again, then sighed. “I should probably go set up the lab.”

“Should you?”

“You’re the worst,” said Jenny, not very seriously. “Really, I should—”

Outside Giles’s office, the sound of loud, cheerful voices could be heard as the library doors burst open. “GILES!” Buffy called, heedless of any rules regarding the library being a quiet place. “We need to talk!”

“Duty calls, huh?” Jenny brushed her fingers gently against Giles’s cheek. He shivered. “At least they aren’t gonna flip if they see me coming out of your office.”

“I wouldn’t bet on it,” said Giles ruefully, sitting up. “I rather think we scarred Buffy for life with our little morgue drawer display.” He stood, turning to offer Jenny a hand. She took it, and he tugged her gently off the desk, taking a deliberate extra moment to steady her. “Be out in a second, Buffy!” he called, then kissed Jenny’s nose. She laughed.

“Giles, can you please stop making out with your wife and just come out here?” Buffy called.

Giles rolled his eyes a little, opening the office door and leaning against the doorframe. Jenny stepped up next to him. “What brings you three to the library this early?” he asked, a little concerned by the answer. “Generally our—ah—study group doesn’t meet before lunch.”

“Yeah, well, that was before Angel and I had to fend off three really nasty—” Buffy stopped, glancing furtively at Jenny. “Um, they—”

“Vampires?” said Jenny.

Buffy, Willow, Xander, and Giles all stared incredulously at her.

“Look, I, uh, know you’re shocked,” continued Jenny, completely misinterpreting their stares, “but you all seem absolutely hell-bent on placing yourselves in progressively weirder and more dangerous situation. After that stuff with the hyenas last week, I think it’s important that you all know about the whole vampire situation in Sunnydale.”

“I’m sorry?” said Giles.

“Vampires are real,” said Jenny patiently.

Buffy gaped at Jenny. After a very pointed look from Giles, she seemed to remember how to speak again. “Yep!” she managed. “Vampires! Wow, that is some shocking information right there, Ms. Calendar, and it brings up a lot of questions!”

“Like, say, how does Ms. Calendar know about vampires without Giles knowing Ms. Calendar knew about vampires?” Willow asked.

“That is a very good question, Willow,” said Buffy, giving Giles a death glare. “Why would Giles not know that his wife knew about vampires? Especially considering—”

“—that I myself am working on a paranormal book,” Giles finished very loudly, glaring right back at Buffy. “Jenny, why on earth didn’t you tell me?”

Jenny exhaled, looking up at Giles. “I didn’t want to put you in danger,” she said softly. “You find it easily enough even without knowing about vampires.”

This made sense, and didn’t surprise Giles in the slightest. Most of this information wasn’t new to him, after all. What was new was the fact that Jenny had just made her knowledge of the supernatural very clear to the children, and the children now knew that Jenny knew about vampires, which raised a lot of obvious questions as to why Giles hadn’t yet told her he was a Watcher. “I understand,” he said, smiling weakly. He did his best not to look at Buffy, Willow, and Xander, who all looked varying degrees of disapproving. “That, um, must have caused you quite a lot of worry.”

Jenny waved a dismissive hand. “We’ve been through that part before,” she said. “You know I worry about you. That’s not in question. What I want to know is why there were vampires chasing Buffy and—” She stopped, a strange expression on her face, and then said, “Angel.”

Buffy didn’t miss this. “Do you know Angel?” she asked curiously.

“You said he helped you fend off some vampires last night?” Jenny asked, so confident and casual that only Giles noticed she hadn’t answered Buffy’s question.

“Yeah,” said Buffy. A soft, slow smile spread across her face. “He had to spend the night with me.”

Jenny blanched. Willow beamed. Xander said, loud and furious, “He spent the night? In your room? In your bed?”

“Not in my bed,” Buffy corrected, still smiling. “By my bed.”

“That is so romantic!” Willow sighed. “Did you, uh…I mean, did he, uh…”

“Perfect gentleman,” said Buffy dreamily.

“Did you invite him in?” said Jenny suddenly.

Buffy looked surprised by the question. “What do you mean?”

“Did you say the words come in?” Jenny had a strange look in her eyes.

“I don’t know,” said Buffy slowly, looking a little amused. “It was kind of a life-or-death situation. You know how it is with vampires.”

“Unfortunately,” said Jenny grimly. “Buffy, Angel isn’t the kind of guy you want in your bedroom.”

“Thank you,” said Xander loudly, looking extremely pleased. “See? Even Ms. Calendar thinks Angel’s bad news.”

“You said yourself he’s not dangerous, didn’t you?” Buffy said plaintively, directing large puppy eyes at Jenny. “And nothing happened. He’s a good guy.”

Jenny bit her lip, considering. Then she said, “If anything happens, you let me know, Buffy. Do you understand that? Any single, solitary thing that seems out of the ordinary—”

“And I come to you, I got it.” Buffy beamed angelically.

Giles was beginning to frown. It was one thing for Jenny to have her secrets, but quite another for her secrets to intersect with his authority as a Watcher. Anything out of the ordinary that Buffy experienced had to be first and foremost reported to Giles, not Jenny. “May I speak with you in private?” he asked quietly, tugging at Jenny’s sleeve.

Jenny looked a little surprised. “Sure,” she said, and let him lead her back into the office. As he shut the door, she sat down on the top of his desk, surveying him with a hopeful interest. “Stealing a kiss?” she said lightly.

“Not quite,” said Giles. “Jenny, what is going on between you and Angel? It’s clear you know something about him that you aren’t divulging.”

Jenny considered this. Then she said, “Rupert, you took that new information about vampires a lot better than I expected you to. What’s up with that?”

Giles exhaled, impatient. “I research the supernatural quite extensively,” he said. “The concept of vampires being real is a possibility that has crossed my mind more than once. What don’t Buffy and I know about Angel?”

“Something that isn’t any of your business,” said Jenny. “Something that shouldn’t be any of your business, not if I have anything to say about it. He shouldn’t be staying in a teenage girl’s bedroom.”

“He seems a decent enough fellow,” said Giles quietly. “Certainly not the type to take any liberties.”

“You don’t know him,” said Jenny, looking directly up at Giles.

“And that’d be helped if you told me why I should be worried!” Giles snapped, frustrated.

Jenny flushed, looking genuinely hurt. As she crossed her arms against her chest, Giles felt a sudden, painful twinge of guilt. “If you trust me like you say you do, you’ll know I wouldn’t ever keep something from you without good reason,” she said quietly, “Believe me, Rupert, this is something I want to tell you, but there are so many other factors in play. The moment I can tell you, I swear I will. Right now isn’t that moment.” She drew in a shaking breath. “I wish it was.”

Giles felt terrible. Here he was guarding his secrets with every intention of keeping them from Jenny for as long as possible, and here she was telling him she wanted, badly, to share her own with him. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “It’s difficult to know that there are parts of you I don’t understand.”

“Well, hey, that’s marriage,” said Jenny with a wobbly laugh. “Not exactly a picnic, but…worth the work.” She reached out, squeezing Giles’s hands.

“I do trust you,” said Giles softly. “More than most.”

“I’d hope so,” said Jenny. There was that beautiful smile, tentative and sincere, the one that only he ever brought out.

Giles was tempted, badly, to kiss her again, but the children were outside and waiting. Reluctantly, he dropped her hands. “I’d best get back to the children,” he murmured. “And I—”

Jenny gripped his shirt, pressing her mouth firmly to his. Giles laughed a bit breathlessly, kissing her back.

Things had changed between them. Giles, half-awake in bed that night, was quite comfortable admitting that. Jenny touched him because she wanted to touch him, and kissed him because she liked him, and did the washing up because he did the cooking and she felt like it was only fair. He liked talking to her at night, both of them drowsy and safe in bed, about art and literature and that frankly ridiculous thing that some student in her class had done. Saying that he was smitten with her didn’t quite cover his growing feelings for her—not when everything he found out about her seemed to solidify how very much he cared for her.

It was these feelings that posed a problem. Giles was deeply afraid of losing her if ever she found out how much he had been keeping from her. It was true that she understood secrets, especially with some of her own, but he didn’t at all know how she would feel about the entire extra facet of his personality. To her, he was Rupert, a gentle librarian, but to Buffy and Willow and Xander, he was Giles, a Watcher and a researcher. He couldn’t at all imagine her loving both.

Caring for both.

Giles let out a frightened breath. When had he started wanting Jenny to love him?

Jenny, as always, had fallen asleep first, her head pillowed on his shoulder. It was giving Giles a frustrating amount of time to think—about her, about him, about the impossibilities that he wanted for the both of them. He imagined meeting Jenny the way they were supposed to have met, not roundabout, not married to her in Vegas before they had even learned to like each other. He thought about how they might have met in a staff meeting before school started, and he might have found out she knew more than he had expected, and she might have gotten to know him as a Watcher and a friend all in one. Him asking her out to dinner, their stumbling through a sweet, awkward courtship, them falling in love without secrets between them.

“Jenny,” he said softly.

Jenny stirred against his chest. “Mm?”

“Do you think—would we have been better, had we met the right way round?” Giles asked, his own voice weary. He wished he could fall asleep as easily as her.

Jenny hummed, cuddling into him. “I think I’m happy I’m here,” she whispered.

Something about that made Giles feel better and worse at the same time. He kissed the top of her head, closing his eyes.

The next day brought alarming news.

“Angel’s a vampire?” said Willow disbelievingly.

“I can't believe this is happening,” said Buffy, small and tired. “One minute we were kissing, and the next minute…” She looked plaintively to Giles. “Can a vampire ever be a good person? Couldn't it happen?”

Giles kept on thinking of Jenny’s words. He shouldn’t be staying in a teenage girl’s bedroom. And yet if Angel was truly a threat…how could Jenny possibly put Buffy’s life at risk? “I don’t know,” he said quietly. “By all accounts, a vampire isn't a person at all.”

“But Ms. Calendar let him stay with Buffy!” Willow objected, distressed. “Why would she do that if Angel’s a bad guy?”

If you trust me like you say you do, you’ll know I wouldn’t ever keep something from you without good reason.

“Giles?” Willow turned to him.

There had to be some other explanation. But Jenny knowing about Angel, Jenny knowing about the supernatural, Jenny showing up in Giles’s life and being so distracting, so lovely, so absolutely wonderful—god, he should have known. There was always a catch. “I need to speak to my wife,” said Giles acidly, and hurried past the children, up the stairs, through the hallway, not bothering to look back.

Jenny was setting up her classroom, humming the song that had been on the radio when they’d driven to school that morning. She turned as he stepped into the room; her smile faded at his expression. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Angel is a vampire,” said Giles.

Jenny paled. “Did he hurt Buffy?”

“I think the time for games is very much over, Jenny,” said Giles coldly. “Tell me what you know.”

“There aren’t any—any games, Rupert, and I can’t believe you would think—tell me if he hurt Buffy,” Jenny demanded. “God, please, I—I would have told you if I’d known—” She let out a choked sob, pressing her fingers to her mouth. “She’s so small,” she whispered. “She’s sixteen. I couldn’t tell you, I should have told you—”

“Buffy is fine,” said Giles. Then, “You knew he was a vampire.”

“It’s family stuff,” whispered Jenny. “It’s complicated.”

“I’m an intelligent man.”

Jenny swallowed. She stepped around Giles, shutting the door. “I don’t want to tell you this now,” she said. “I don’t. I want to tell you because I want to tell you, not out of guilt. You know me. You know I wouldn’t do anything if I thought it would hurt you or those kids. He’s a vampire, but it’s—complicated. He isn’t like most of them.”

“If there’s any chance he’ll hurt Buffy, it would help if we had some extra information,” said Giles sharply.

“He—” Jenny stared at him, wide-eyed. “You don’t trust me,” she said quietly.

“Jenny.”

“How is my word not enough on this one?”

“He’s a vampire, Jenny!” Giles shouted. “You can’t just—just speak in vague terms and tell me to follow you blindly! Buffy’s life may very well be at stake, and you’re concerned as to whether or not I trust you enough? You need to get your bloody priorities in order before you start chiding me for not trusting the stranger I drunkenly married!”

The second after he had said it, he realized his mistake like a punch to the gut. He was treating this situation like he didn’t know Jenny, like she hadn’t bandaged his hands and kissed him in a morgue drawer and looped a cross around his neck just to keep him safe. She had given him every reason to trust her, had gone so far as to beg him to understand that she didn’t want to keep secrets from him—she had even been honest enough to admit that she had secrets in the first place. And here he was yelling at her as though he didn’t have a thousand and one secrets of his own.

But Jenny was looking at him, her expression now utterly, purposefully unreadable. “You know what?” she said. “You’re right. I’m some stranger you barely know. You have every fucking reason to think I might want to hurt the kids under my care.” She nodded, a jerky motion. “I get the message loud and clear, Rupert.”

“Jenny,” said Giles weakly. He felt sick to his stomach.

“I think we’re done here,” said Jenny, and turned on her heel, walking out of the classroom without looking back.

Giles sat down, head spinning, on the edge of Jenny’s desk.

“Giles?”

Giles looked up. Willow was standing in the doorway, looking shaken and sad. “How much of that did you hear?” he asked tiredly.

“Um, you guys weren’t exactly quiet,” said Willow uncertainly. “It’s pretty lucky that everybody else is in class. This is my TA period for Ms. Calendar, though, so—”

“Willow,” said Giles.

“I heard drunkenly married,” mumbled Willow. “I covered my ears after that, though, I promise.”

Giles removed his glasses, shakily cleaning them with his handkerchief. He couldn’t quite look at Willow as she sat down next to him. But he couldn’t leave things so ambiguous, especially not if she might tell Buffy or Xander about what she had heard. Someone, at least, deserved the truth. “We met in Las Vegas two weeks before term started,” he said quietly. “We were both laid over there. She swept me off my feet in a bar, we got ridiculously drunk, and we woke up the next day legally bound.”

Willow was silent for a very long time. It took Giles a good two minutes to look up at her, and when he did, she gave him a weak smile. “Just trying to process,” she said.

“I quite understand,” said Giles wryly.

“It’s just…” Willow sighed. “You guys click,” she said. “It’s hard for me to imagine the both of you being complete strangers to each other.”

Giles swallowed. “There are many mistakes I have made in my life,” he said. “I don’t think marrying Jenny was one of them.” This felt too much of an admission. He hastened to change the subject. “But she knew Angel was a vampire, and that—I—I was afraid she was using me. To get to Buffy. Hurt her, somehow.”

“You know she wouldn’t do that!” said Willow, all but affronted.

“I had it in my head that I didn’t know her well enough to make that judgment,” said Giles heavily.

Willow huffed. “That’s crazy talk,” she said.

Giles exhaled. “I’m well aware,” he said, rather unable to look at Willow. The thought that he had caused Jenny needless pain was so much worse than Jenny being some sort of manipulative spy. “I should talk to her,” he said finally.

“Yeah, you should,” said Willow, giving him a momentary smile. “Just give her some space. I think she’s gonna need it.”

Giving Jenny space wasn’t as hard as Giles had imagined it to be. Jenny missed absolutely all of her classes, and when Giles headed to the parking lot at the end of the day, she had already left in her car. Seeing as she’d driven him to the high school, he ended up having to walk home, which gave him an unpleasant amount of time alone with his own thoughts. By the time he finally made it up the porch steps, it was dangerously close to sunset.

Jenny opened the door for him. “I’m sorry,” she said stiffly. “As mad as I am at you, I shouldn’t have left you at school.”

“Don’t you dare apologize to me,” said Giles quietly, shutting the door behind him. He made sure to give Jenny a wide berth; physical space was just as important as emotional space. “I was utterly horrible to you today, Jenny. I don’t know how I can begin to make it up to you.”

“I don’t know either,” said Jenny, staring him down.

Giles shoved his hands into his pockets, mostly to stop his physical compulsion to reach out to Jenny. Though her expression was one of resolute anger, he knew he had hurt her in a way that went beyond fury. “I was afraid,” he said finally. “Of you being too good to be true.”

“Skip the Hallmark-card bullshit, Rupert,” said Jenny flatly. “Tell me something real and I’ll consider—”

“Angry, then, how’s that?” said Giles, humiliation sharpening his words. “I was angry, Jenny, that you didn’t tell me any of this. I hated that you gave me a reason to doubt you—”

“That’s your own damn fault for not listening, then!” Jenny’s eyes flashed. “I told you I wanted to tell you everything, I just needed time!”

“How much time, hmm?” Giles took a step closer, unthinking, then stopped himself. Give her some space. “What happened if we ran out of time and Buffy ended up dead in her bed? If she knew he was a vampire, she’d have never let him in and you know it—”

“This isn’t about Buffy and it never was!” Jenny shouted. “You’re angry that your wife is a complete stranger to you and you don’t know every single fucking thought in her head! Well, guess what, Rupert, that’s what you sign up for when you’re a drunken moron who marries the first pretty girl that gives you the time of day!”

Giles reeled, drawing in a sharp, shaking breath. “I suppose I deserved that,” he said finally.

Jenny froze, mouth half-open. It was clear she’d been expecting him to throw another insult at her, and the absence of it had taken her off guard. No, not off guard—oh, no, oh, Jenny—

Without even thinking about it, Giles took two running steps across the living room and tugged a sobbing Jenny into his arms. Not once had she cried like this in all the time he’d seen her, and the thought that he had caused this was unbearable. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered into her hair, close to tears himself. “Jenny, please, I never—never meant to hurt you like this.”

Jenny sobbed something incoherent into his shoulder that sounded very much like an insult, but she was still holding onto him very tightly.

Giles drew in a soft breath, steadied by her presence. “You’re right,” he said quietly, stroking her hair. “This was never about Buffy. I was—afraid, and don’t tell me that that’s Hallmark-card rubbish—”

“I think what I said was Hallmark-card bullshit,” said Jenny. She was still crying, but her words were now at least relatively understandable. “Making our argument a little more G-rated?”

“Bloodbath would be more apropos for what went down in that classroom,” said Giles ruefully. “Though I think we both know that we have the propensity for rather explosive fights.”

Jenny made a noise between a sob and a laugh. “You could say that, yeah,” she mumbled.

“I was afraid,” said Giles again. “That your arrival in my life was somehow not a coincidence, that…that your designs on me were meant to hurt Buffy and myself.”

“Dumbest conspiracy theory ever,” said Jenny flatly, turning her head to rest her cheek on Giles’s chest.

“It’d explain rather well why—” Giles stopped, rather afraid that she could feel his heart pounding. “The more I get to know you, the more I find myself—smitten,” he said. The words didn’t come easily. “And you’re,” he laughed a little tiredly, “quite right that these admissions shouldn’t come tinged with guilt, Jenny. I’d much rather have told you this under happier circumstances. But the fact remains that my feelings for you are rapidly becoming large enough to eclipse any nefarious intent you could have had, and that’s frightening. I am, I am a man of logic, of reason, one who shouldn’t be swayed by—”

Jenny reached up, pressing her finger to his lips. Giles shut his mouth. Lowering her hand, she looked at him steadily, then said, “I believe you, and I get it. But none of that erases what you said to me.”

“I don’t want to erase it,” said Giles quietly. “I want to learn from it. I want you to be angry at me, rightfully so, and I want to prove that I can make things up to you.”

Something in Jenny’s expression softened. “Well, that’s a damn good start,” she murmured, and placed her hands on his shoulders, steadying Giles before she kissed him.

Giles kissed her back for a moment, then pulled away. “You’re not a stranger, you know,” he said earnestly.

“No?” There was clear vulnerability in Jenny’s eyes.

“No,” said Giles softly. “It was cruel of me to say as such, not to mention entirely dishonest. I was afraid, and panicking, but that doesn’t absolve me.”

Jenny swallowed, hard. “I can understand that,” she said. “I’d probably react pretty badly too if I found out you knew stuff about vampires and had been keeping it from me.”

The guilt was like a physical pain in Giles’s stomach, but he couldn’t possibly tell her now. Things were too fragile; it would have to wait just a bit longer. Unable to respond in a way that wasn’t a lie, he kissed her instead, purposefully losing himself in the blissful wonder that was kissing Jenny Calendar—

The phone rang.

“Damn,” Giles muttered, pulling away from Jenny.

“So we’ll save the makeup sex for later, huh?” said Jenny, and gave him a small, wobbly smile.

“Don’t tease,” said Giles, smiling back as he picked up the phone. “Yes?”

“Giles, we have a problem,” came Xander’s voice. “It’s Angel.”

All of Jenny’s slowly-returning happiness had dissipated as soon as Giles had told her what had happened to Joyce. She hadn’t said a word during the drive to the hospital, and seemed either unwilling or unable to let go of Giles’s hand. Both, perhaps.

“Do you remember anything, Mom?” Giles heard Buffy saying from a nearby hospital room. Jenny swayed on her feet; he slipped an arm around her waist, steadying her, and she hid her face in his jacket.

“It’s not your fault,” he whispered.

“You don’t know that,” said Jenny flatly.

“No matter what idiocy I said today, you have more than earned my trust,” said Giles quietly. “A thousand times over, Jenny, you have been here for me.”

But Jenny shook her head, pulling back to look at him. “I knew,” she said. “I knew what he was capable of and I just let him—”

“You didn’t let him do a damn thing,” said Giles firmly. “He’s a monster.”

“He’s not,” Jenny burst out. “That’s—that’s the problem, Rupert.”

“What?”

Jenny exhaled. “I’m Romani.”

This was quite literally the last thing Giles had been expecting her to say. “What does that have to do with—” Jenny gave him a look, and he coughed. “Right. Sorry. Do go on.”

“My family, generations ago, lost a daughter to Angelus,” said Jenny, never looking away from Giles. “A favorite daughter. He killed her, and so they cursed him, and I’m here to make sure that he’s still suffering from that curse.”

“All right,” said Giles slowly. This made quite a lot of sense. “But—does this curse mean that he isn’t a danger to others?”

“The curse means that he has a soul,” said Jenny. “His soul. His moral compass, which should tell him right from wrong. The idea was to, to make him feel the guilt of all the terrible things he’d done—keep him suffering for eternity.” She exhaled, unsmiling. “I don’t like that idea,” she said. “It’s endless, pointless vengeance. I wanted to do as little of my job as possible, because he seemed guilty enough as it was.”

“If he had a soul,” said Giles, “then why on earth did he go after Joyce?”

Jenny’s hands tightened around his forearms and her head fell forward. “I don’t know!” she sobbed out. “I was the only one who knew what he was and I should have told you, you’re my husband, we could have stopped this somehow—”

“Jenny,” Giles whispered, gathering her into his arms. “This is in no way your fault. You had no idea this could have happened…” He trailed off, a lump in his throat. “And there I was blaming you for all of it. I’m so—”

“I’m gonna punch you out if you say sorry, Rupert,” said Jenny into his chest.

Startled, Giles laughed. Jenny raised her head, giving him a small, uncertain smile. “Then I’ll withhold my apologies for the time being, Jenny,” he said.

A strange expression crossed Jenny’s face.

“What is it?”

“It’s just—” Jenny bit her lip. “Janna,” she said.

“I’m sorry?”

“My given name is Janna,” said Jenny. “But it—I—Jenny Calendar’s the lady who married you, you know? I like being her.” She smiled exhaustedly. “You’re the simplest fucking thing in my life, Rupert,” she said. “The rest of it’s a mess, but…” She trailed off.

Giles could think of nothing less simple than being a Watcher’s wife. But the concept of telling Jenny the truth, of possibly hurting her more after she had just been so vulnerable with him, was worse by far than keeping this secret just a little while longer. “I am happy to be whatever you need,” he said instead, and kissed the top of her head.

Jenny snuggled into his arms. “We should tell Buffy,” she murmured.

“I quite agree,” said Giles, and let go of her, just enough for her to take his arm instead. Together, they entered the room, finding Buffy, Willow, and Xander all gathered around Joyce Summers’s bed.

“Ms. Calendar!” Willow perked up. “You’re looking—”

“—kinda awful, actually,” said Xander matter-of-factly. “Finally realize you’re married to the dorkiest man on the planet?”

“I also grade your assignments, Xander,” said Jenny, fixing him with a look that immediately shut him up.

“Are you another doctor?” Joyce asked Giles blearily.

“Oh, um, no, my, my wife and I are faculty at Sunnydale High School,” Giles explained. “We came to, ah, wish you a speedy recovery.”

“Boy, the teachers really do care in this town,” said Joyce, grinning a little.

Buffy’s face was tight. “Get some rest now,” she said, pressing a kiss to her mother’s cheek and leading Willow and Xander out of the room. Giles and Jenny followed. “She’s going to be okay,” she informed Giles. “They gave her some iron—”

“Buffy, Jenny has some important information about Angel,” said Giles, squeezing Jenny’s hand.

Buffy looked a little surprised. “So you do know him,” she said.

“I do know him,” Jenny confirmed. “And…I think you all deserve to know why.”

Jenny’s explanation led to Buffy deciding that there was a factor she was missing regarding Angel’s attack on her mother, which led to Giles asking a few more questions about the friend who Joyce had let into the house. This in turn revealed that it was Darla who had attacked Buffy’s mother, and so Buffy went after Darla, and Angel ended up helping Buffy finally take Darla down.

Giles found out about Darla’s death much, much later. He had instructed Buffy to take the night off, as Darla clearly wanted Buffy to go after Angel. He would later discover that Buffy had completely disregarded his words, as always, but currently, he was carefully shepherding Jenny into their house, then shutting the door behind him, hanging his coat on the coat tree by the door. “I’m sorry about the direction tonight took,” he said.

Jenny didn’t answer. Without a word, she grasped at his sleeve, fingers brushing his wrist.

“Jenny?”

“You didn’t have to be as kind as you were,” she said, and gave him a small, wobbly smile.

“You’re giving me much too much credit,” said Giles wryly. “If you’ll recall, I was completely horrible to you when first I found out—”

Jenny shook her head. “You didn’t have all the facts,” she said. “And now here you are with all of them, and you’re taking them in stride. I…” She trailed off. “You’re almost too good to be true,” she said. “I feel like there’s got to be some catch here, but there isn’t. There’s just you.”

Her fingers were drawing quiet, deliberate circles against the skin of his wrist, and the way she was looking at him brought back a sudden flash of memory—

“—have you heard that thing about annulments?” his new wife was saying, eyes half-lidded.

“Can’t recall,” said Giles, and took a sip of the horribly fruity drink from the hotel room mini-bar. It was the last alcoholic beverage left, or he most likely wouldn’t be drinking it at all.

“That thing where if you don’t consummate the marriage, it can be annulled like—” she snapped her fingers, “—that?”

“Don’t think that’s how it works,” Giles corrected, attempting to sound as dignified as possible even through his inebriation. “It’s more…more like, if a marriage is carried out while one ‘r both of the participants are…are unsound of body or mind—”

Jenny straddled his lap and kissed him. In his enthusiasm to return the kiss, Giles spilled the fruity drink all over the bedsheets—

“—come here,” Giles whispered, and kissed her. Jenny made a soft, shaky noise against his mouth and kissed him back—

—the sheets would have to be changed, he was certain, though he felt ridiculous for fixating on such a thing when he was married, for the first time ever, and wasn’t it romantic, meeting his wife and knowing right off that she was the one he wanted to be with? Marrying her because he didn’t want to waste a day? Jenny pushed at his shoulders until he’d fallen back into the pillows, and then he heard a sound like tearing fabric.

“Shit,” she laughed, pulling back, and Giles saw that the purple dress had ripped. “Okay, okay, hold on, I need to—”

“Take it off,” Giles suggested.

“Mmm, sounds good,” Jenny agreed—

“—only I wouldn’t want to pressure you into anything you aren’t ready for,” Giles murmured, breaking the kiss to rest his forehead against hers.

Jenny laughed softly. “Are you kidding?” she whispered. “Even after you found out I’m in Sunnydale watching a vampire with a soul, you’re still worrying about me? I can handle the decisions I make, Rupert. Kiss me.”

“No decision has been overtly made, Jenny,” Giles reminded her gently. “I did mean what I say about consent being important in this situation.”

Jenny smiled a little. “I want to sleep with you,” she said softly. “I want to be close to you.”

Giles studied Jenny, a lump in his throat. He was more than aware that Jenny’s vulnerability was something he hadn’t truly earned. Taking advantage of it under false pretenses didn’t feel right, no matter how very deeply he returned her feelings. The truth had to come out now, before they became even closer. “Jenny,” he began. “I have to tell you—”

Jenny exhaled, almost a laugh. “Whatever it is,” she said, “can it please wait? I’ve wanted—I want this. And I’m not stupid, Rupert, I know there’s still gonna be stuff I don’t know about you. That’s okay. I just wanna be with you right now.”

Giles wavered—

—his hands fluttered nervously to rest at her waist, gentle and careful. Out of the dress, she looked so much smaller, less polished and perfect. He felt as though he might hurt her if he wasn’t paying enough attention.

“I’m not a china doll, husband,” she said, trying out the word with a giggle. “Husband. God. Not gonna get used to that any time soon.”

“Do you regret it?” he asked.

She didn’t hesitate. “No.”

His hands gripped her waist as he kissed her—

—and kissed her, and kissed her, and carried her into the bedroom, overbalancing in the doorway so that they half-fell onto the bed. There was a sudden sense of urgency to Jenny’s kisses, one that Giles could understand. Their connection still felt so tenuous, especially after how easily he had been able to believe that there might be some—

“Catch,” he realized, and laughed a little.

“Huh?” Jenny blinked at him, moving up to lean back against the headboard. Her disheveled hair and half-unbuttoned blouse were bringing back much more explicit memories of their wedding night.

“I find it so hard to believe that you can just be you,” said Giles softly. “Much as you feel like there has to be a catch for me just being me. The likelihood of me marrying someone so, so kind, so brave, not just a belligerent stranger who microwaves plastic—”

“Now that’s the way I want people to describe me all the time,” said Jenny, and while her words were playful, her smile was something more akin to loving. “Come here, Rupert.”

“Yes, dear,” said Giles, a low purr, and her answering shiver was delicious as he moved up the bed to press her into the pillows.

[2n2n]

"If I don't love Finn who will" shit that's the motto I've been following since like 2011, we gotta love our boy. People sleep on his greatness too much. Love whenever you blab about AT. I wonder what do you think about Finn and Marcy's character arcs? What are your favorite 'versions' I guess of them, like the start of the show, middle of it end of it or specific seasons/writers who wrote them specific ways? Let it all out I wanna hear it.

its hard for me to understand ‘cuz you’d think the people would be all about a traumatized repressing but positive/well-meaning yet loving & sensitive boy? But people also sleep on steven/assume he’s flat/uneventful/boring/doooon’t care about the nuances of his carefully maintained facade.... so .... I dunno .... maybe I must love all the sensitive crybabies. I have to make this sacrifice. It’s not easy but must be done

I love..... Finn around the time of Incendium-burning low.... this is the boy I really love, the.... pining, confused needy one who just, wants something... around season 4. This.... he’s like. Not quite as naive/clueless as s1-2, he’s coming out of that, but he still doesn’t understand his feelings, the world, how to do things, what he’s SUPPOSED to do, he’s easily overwhelmed and he still has outbursts and emotional tantrums. He’s at the point he isn’t in denial about craving affection, but he’s no more educated on how to get it or deal with pining or rejection.

this... emotional palate.... is so ... ideal. I like when he’s pining for PB but knows there’s absolutely no chance, but that doesn’t make him stop wanting it. He can’t stand it anymore. I like a lovesick idiot puppy...

I really love early series marcy on the whole ‘cuz I love how... rowdy, immature, childish, VERY MUCH an immortal teen she is, in Evicted and Henchman and Go With Me she’s legit just so funny and great. She’s NOT responsible and she’s not TRYING to be, she’s really performing that ‘carefree jerk’ routine which I LOVE being the backdrop FOR her eventual development, especially What was Missing (s3) and I Remember You....  I love knowing that aloof loner jerk marcy was always hiding this abandonment issues baby girlllll who is also filled with as much childish pining and aching as Finn.

It Came from the Nightosphere marcy who is opening up to Finn but still snippy at him is maybe my favorite. This is a breed of interaction/dynamic she hasn’t had for a lot of years I feel like, so she’s still fussy, reserved, and difficult. I like that this Marcy flies off the handle and snaps and again, she’s just IMMATUUUURE she’s so unstable emotionally, she’s so reactive! Which I love about her, because it also contrasts her so sharply against PB, who is very grounded and pragmatic. I love that she swings a dang axe at Finn!

and I like Finn around s3 too,because he’s still pretty clueless/naive, but he does his best to observe and help and feels for her struggles in his inept way. He hurts for her, he’s not completely blind or anything. Early series Finn is really endearing.

What Was Missing is a great era because you have a Finn who IS learning marceline is emotional/needy too.... and he even gets to tease her about it?

what a perfect snapshot of where they’ve both come in their relationship to each other, that they can be playful about something this sensitive!! I like that... They both got vulnerable in this ep so its ok for some ribbing, they must feel like equals here.

[trashangel-dee]

This is probably gonna be a little messy, but I just have to get it out. This hasn’t been proofed, so sorry for mistakes

It’s mostly going to be the Charlie/Dee thing, but it will tie in to the majority of the episode. 

I’m not justifying or excusing anything. 

Most followers and mutuals know I’m big on this “ship”. It hurt at first. And I still feel really gross about it. Looking now, it doesn’t really change how I see them. ofc, I do some, but not significantly. As much fun as it is to speculate and write/ read fic, I dont expect or want an official relationship with pet names and hand holding.It is fun to imagine these terrible dumb-dumbs try to navigate something healthy and normal. I’ve been drawn to this pairing from early on. Their friendship hasn’t really changed. Charlie hasn’t acted uncomfortable around Dee, and is still okay with close proximity and casual touching. Not to compare/bring him up, but look at his interactions with uncle jack. Even the “me too” coincidence/ ‘joke’ at the end, Charlie was the first to laugh and look impressed at her. They have their smoke breaks. Charlie moved to sit next to her in HoHC.

While I think that going from a very sweet moment to that is very important to bring to people’s attention, I think it still would be easier to handle if it had been a second time deal. We’ve had 3 years to think about how Glenn and Rob were planning a very long, consensual, intimate scene that this now is very jarring and hard to accept. It was supposed to be awkward and funny to watch, but even the latest reveal is going to the opposite of a comedy scene. While I appreciate them hitting on ‘consent can end at any time. and that just because someone initiated something, doesn’t mean they have to finish it’, I think making it into a ‘tried a second time but Charlie backed out this time’ would’ve been less shocking since we don’t have as much context and investment in it. It would hit on ‘just because it happened once doesn’t mean it’s an okay for every other time.’

What really bothers me is how they bonded in the diner and for music and def poetry and that sort of comfort and trust was broken. Also in an interview years ago, Rob said “these characters are sad, pathetic and in pain” and I get they are some of the worst people on the planet, it’s hard to see them hurt more.

What I find interesting is how Charlie brings it up as an excuse for his behavior with the waitress, that being molested/ sexually assaulted makes it okay because he’s been a victim, too. Saying how he “get(s) a free pass”. Even though he’s been doing all that creepy and inappropriate stuff well before Misses the Boat aired. I’m not justifying this, merely pointing out that it was another good point to hit on.

The gang’s reaction was interesting to me- Mac and Dennis only seem to care that they had sex and barely have a reaction to whether or not it was consensual.Maybe it’s because they know of her past with men, or because they have trouble seeing outside their tight knit little group and the delicate balance they try to keep. They don’t insult Dee (such as call her desperate or a whore) or over react with concern for Charlie having been with a bird or someone so gross.

I’m not excusing or victim blaming or anything, but  Dee seems surprised by the revelation, almost like she had forgot that they had been together or that that type of stuff is normal for her. Dee being more of the ‘leader’ and sort of fierce with men is a popular hc, and while it’s not as empowering in this situation, I think it’s more of to be expected from her. Charlie seems surprised as well- the lady says that “women can sexually harass and even rape a guy. is that what happened here?” and his reaction is sort of ‘oh wow. i guess’, which almost parallels the Mac/Dee interaction in the role-play, when the man tells them that lifting her like that is sexual assault. Though she’s faking for the attention/authority, she says “now that I got a little distance from the event...” Though they’re different situations, both seemed to have needed it brought to their attention. 

Something I noticed is how Dee essentially says “I,a woman, can’t assault you, a man.” However in “Dee Made a Smut Film” she tells Dennis that he was in fact raped in hs, and when he says a women can’t do that to a man, she corrects “an older woman can rape a younger man.” Dee knows it can happen, but seems to think age has some affect on it. I know it’s with a minor/ s1, but Dee isn’t okay with sleeping with the hs kid. 

Dee’s behavior at the seminar is great. She starts out excited for the seminar, seeming to expect to watch the guys be roasted while she’s in the clear even though she’s completely aware of “the insinuation”. She then moves into wrongly using the ‘power’ she has, which some men have commented on being afraid of. It then ends with Dee realizing that she’s no better than anyone and is part of the problem, too.

Things get more random here/ stuff I noticed but don’t know how to articulate:

When Dennis tells Mac to stop touching and kissing him because he’s uncomfortable with it, he adds “it’s never gonna happen”. Dennis absolutely knows that Mac wants more. That It took it from sort of puppy love to seemingly breaking him down.

Charlie also mentions that he was intimidated by her large frame, which seems unusual for him. It’s also a common insult and a throwback to Mac and Dee earlier. While I get this is a different context for their behavior, it’s rare to see Charlie intimidated by Dee. Even in “Dee Gives Birth” he comments that Ben needs to stand up for himself. While I believe Charlie did try some, and I’m not blaming him again, but it shows that saying and doing are different things and one needs to be put in that situation.

Dee does what challengers call a grey area- what she thinks is a compliment and helpful, rubbing the woman’s shoulders and complimenting her breasts, is considered sexual harassment.

Dee flirting with Cricket 11-12 years ago is what got him in this looks situation now. 

I think revealing her habits happened to Charlie hurts and feels like it went over the line some. Showing pictures and names of her victims would have been a different type of effective in the presentation. 

What really stings is that type of stuff happening to Charlie twice. By two people who he’s close to. Which is common statistics, but it still crushes me.

Everyone already said and knows this, but the gang never learns or changes. They just need ways to keep it more secret.