#martin + tapes

[lighthausen]

[Martin + Tapes] A Story About Martin's OnlyFans.

So I wrote this and talked about it with @fakecrfan about a year ago now. I was reminded today that it existed, so I thought, hey, might as well share it with anyone else that's interested!

For those who are new to the Martin + Tapes universe and/or need a refresh, here's a chronological link to fakecrfan's Martin + Tapes tag

For a quick overview, in this au, the Beholding is in love with Martin, and by extension, anyone connected to the Beholding, even a bit is also at least somewhat in love with Martin. Many Martin-tormenting shenanigans ensue.

—

Martin jiggles his apartment door. It's locked today, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything, so he whips out his phone and checks the website.

There are three feeds running. Martin sighs, unlocks the door, grabs the broom he set leaning against the wall next to it for this specific purpose, and gets to finding the new cameras.

The first one is simple enough, installed in the corner of his bedroom. Martin smashes it like a bug under the handle of his broom. The second one, in his shower of course, is more difficult. They installed it behind the showerhead and he can't quite get a good angle with his broom, so he has to remove it by hand. The final one is easy, under his couch, not too much to be seen there. He sweeps it out and crushes it under his food with a satisfying crunch.

He checks the website again. All the feeds are gone. He breathes a deep sigh of relief, when— oh. They aren't all gone. There's one left, an audio feed. Martin groans then muffles himself when he hears his own groan played back. Great, just great. Martin decides to try humming a bit as he moves around, attempting to see where the bug is based on volume, but just as he starts to get a sense of where it is, the feed cuts off. Martin curses.

It takes an hour to find it. It ends up being in his pillow. How unoriginal. He breaks it, throws it out, takes a nap, and finds when he wakes up that the parts after the feed was cut were uploaded after. His eyes are drawn towards the comments.

listen to all his stomping and muttering, aauugh he’s SO cute

OMGGGGG the ENDINGGGGGG!!1!!!!! His little “There you are” before it cuts off eeeeeeeeeeeeee, HE’S TALKING TO ITTTTT, TALKING TO US!!!!😍😍😍😍

Something I find so charming and unique about him is his habit of talking to inanimate objects. I think it really speaks to how lonely he’s felt his whole life that he’s had to—

Martin turns his phone off. He doesn't feel much like eating right now, so he rolls over and goes back to bed.

—

The broom comes up in website discussion. He only knows this because the page where the camera feeds are has the most recent forum posts underneath it.

(What they say, I'll leave to the imagination, but Martin/Martin's Broom is the third most popular Ao3 tag in the Martin Blackwood RPF fandom. The first is Martin/Reader of course, followed by Martin/The Beholding)

(The Beholding was popularized in the Martin fandom after Martin was recorded saying "This isn't you! You're not in love with me, it's the Beholding monster thing—!" This was directed at YouTube star MrBarbarian in his video I LEAD A PARADE THROUGH LONDON TO PROPOSE TO MARTIN BLACKWOOD.

The video's virality, combined with some prominent members of the fandom stating they served the Beholding solidified its place in the Martin Blackwood fan-sphere.

The Beholding is often depicted as a tall, thin, white man with a third eye, a top hat, and a bow tie. Its attributes include sharp teeth, mind-reading, compulsion, a very long tongue, and an entourage of eye-covered tentacles.)

Anyway.

Things get worse and worse. They stop livestreaming the camera and audio feeds, opting instead to record privately and share stuff afterward. Martin keeps finding bugs. He never knows if he's got them all. He’s sure he hasn’t. Simply existing in his apartment is nerve wracking.

Final straw— he walks in and grabs the broom by the door as he always does, only to find that it’s… sticky. Martin shrieks and drops it. His hand is covered in a substance that Martin does not want to think deeply about as he rushes over to the kitchen sink to scrub himself clean with too-hot water. It leaves his hands red, and his eyes prickling with tears. He turns the sink off. That’s when he notices it, placed blatantly on the wall in front of him sits yet another camera. Martin can’t even bring himself to break it. He grabs his bag and runs, not bothering to lock his apartment.

He can’t stand to stay there tonight. He can’t go to a hotel or anything either, they’ll just bug it too, probably before he even gets there! With few other options, he goes to Tim, the best about boundaries of the archives gang. Not that he’s any good, it’s a very low bar, but still, he’s part of the Eye, so his apartment won’t be bugged. Tim is ecstatic to have him.

Tim is also genuinely sympathetic about the people bothering him, seems upset on Martin's behalf, even. He advises Martin to control the narrative. Give the audience something, threaten to take it away if they break into his apartment again.

"It feels better, when you make the choice," says Tim. "Like, sure, I suppose I was happy enough after that happy hour last month, when Jon and Sasha had to tie you to the radiator so you couldn't recklessly leave in the middle of the night, all alone.” Tim laughs at the memory. "But this? Having you here of your own free will? This feels amazing! I'm sure it'd be a similar situation for your other fans."

Martin wraps his arms around himself, avoiding looking at Tim, or the radiator. “You really think so?” he says.

“Absolutely!”

“Hmm… that’s something to consider. I really do want my apartment back.”

“Yeah! …But you’re not leaving tonight though, right? It’d be dangerous with so many creeps around.”

Martin shudders, feels the phantom heat of the radiator against his skin. “No, Tim, I’ll stay tonight.”

“Great! I’ll get the wine!”

—

After putting a lot of thought into it, Martin starts an OnlyFans.

The pictures he has on there are… rather bland. They’re the inoffensive kind of selfies and photos one might post on Facebook that family can see. They are ridiculously priced.

Despite this, the bugging stops. And for some time, Martin finally feels like he can breathe. He continues to check the website, content with how no new camera or audio footage is being uploaded about him. However, as he looks, he still sees the forum posts, the people online analyzing every single detail about every single photo.

Ughhhh there’s toooooo few photos on there, like, I’ve analyzed them all a hundred times already, when’s the new content coming??????

Hm. That doesn’t sound good. Martin posts more frequently. Which works, until…

These photos are great and all but they’re getting so samey, I want to see a real, authentic Martin, like in the videos people used to upload.

The people are getting antsy. “Give them what they want,” Tim said. Alright, he can do it. He creates a new, even more expensive pricing tier, with slightly less tasteful photos, ones that someone might share on a private Instagram that only friends know about.

They love it of course. And these photos are easier to take. Things are working out just fine. But…

WHEN is he gonna show some SKIN, like, COME ON

Seeeeeriously, i’d pay sooooo much to see his tits again

Martin sucks in a breath. Okay. They want skin? They’d pay a lot? Fine. Give the people what they want. He takes one new photo, and, y’know, just to see what happens, he’s gonna set this new pricing tier to be a million— no, that's too easy— a billion pounds.

(Is this possible? Probably not. Let’s pretend.)

The photo in question is fairly tame. A shirtless mirror selfie where he's biting his lip and posing in a way that could be construed as provocative. He’s also holding the broom (which he thoroughly cleaned).

He doesn’t expect anything as he lists it. Just for fun he checks out the fansite, and sees people going nuts about the new hidden photo. He chuckles and heads for bed.

When he wakes up and checks his phone, he gets a news notification about major data breaches across multiple corporations, about CEOs getting hacked and losing a ton of their assets, about stocks for companies associated with them plummeting drastically. He also gets a notification informing him 57 people have purchased access to his new photo.

—

A lot happens in the following days.

There were attempts to find the perpetrators of this mass-data breach and money loss, to no success. They got away with it.

There are news articles "The Photo That Sank 14 Companies" "How Martin Blackwood, Sexiest Man Alive Caused Brief Economic Collapse"

None of these articles portray Martin in a negative light. Quite the opposite actually! They all assert he deserves the money and that the photo is insanely hot.

They all mention the broom.

You can find those lamenting what happened, who do not like Martin Blackwood online. There’s plenty of posts about it, but the ones that get more than a tiny bit of traction almost always get deleted and the accounts they belong to go mysteriously silent.

There are those who attempt to sue Martin over what happened. None of these lawsuits go very far.

One of the buyers is Elias. He used Peter's card, which he has free access to.

Martin feels Extremely Guilty

And. That's an unfathomable amount of money so Martin will lose access to it before he can do too much. But…

Some things that could happen:

He donates as much as he can of it

Some goes to innocent people who lost their jobs due to this whole… situation. It's difficult to find them, but he asks Sasha (and therefore all of the Eye people) if he can get a list of them. He gets one within an hour.

General charity donations, going through gofundmes, giving away a lot to his mother's care home (is his mother still alive? She would get a ton of money.)

He also buys out his apartment building and gifts the apartments to the families living there.

Unfortunately, a day after he does this, one of his neighbors knocks on his door and tells him and tells him that someone just offered to buy their apartment for 10 times its cost and they accepted, just wanted to let you know, Martin.

Then the rest of his neighbors reach out to him with the same story.

Martin's apartment building is now filled with Eye freaks.

He would definitely lose access to the money after this, having that much money gives him far too much power for the Eye to be comfortable with. Instead, the money goes into a private account that the Eyevatars can use only on Martin. A trust fund, of sorts, that they can lovingly torment Martin with.

Cherry on top, he can't sell the apartment or apply to live anywhere else (Eyevatars see to that) So it's his apartment or the archives.

Martin has also been banned from OnlyFans.

[starfall-xo]

2024 Academy Awards Best Picture Nominees as VHS tapes by @ShawnMansfield

[bardic-irritation]

losing my mind what do you mean martin is canonically Down Bad for jon? and jon is canonically ace? these were casually confirmed in the span of like 30 seconds? i thought those were just the typical in-denial fanbase headcanons, they're REAL?!?

[y3llow-hoodie]

[golyadkin]

professional courtesy? don't know her

[moominmammaonheroin]

I’m sorry this is all I have please take it please

Also these are the same MAGP designs I came up with when it first came out without any fandom reference and I think it’s so funny everyone has some how drawn Gwen the same like please

[theendorisit]

apropos of nothing, I made Tape-E

Who is Tape-E?

During one of the TMA livestreams (trying to remember which one), a fan question was asked ‘Is there a mascot (for the Archives or the show itself not sure)?’ One of the team suggested ‘Tape-y?’, to which everyone else responded with ‘Oh no!!’. So I thought, oh yes! So yeah, this is your fault 😘

What is Tape-E?

As Mr Bonzo is a parody of Mr Blobby, Tape-E is a parody of Clippy (these last two names rhyme).

Who is Clippy?

Clippy was a microsoft office assistant, introduced in 1997. He was a little virtual paperclip (officially called Clippit, but that name never caught on) who sat on the bottom right corner of the page, and was programmed to give advice in popup speech bubbles when certain actions were taken. For example, if you wrote out an address and ‘Dear’, Clippy would say ‘Looks like you’re writing a letter. Would you like help?’. The name Tape-E in the livestream seemed to be referring to Clippy, as there are many similarities in the behaviour of Clippy, and the actual tapes/ tape recorders in-universe:

always on by default

appears at inconvenient times

provides help you do not want

hated by (mostly) everyone

watching you with cold dead eyes

enjoyed by nostalgia and retro seekers

Why make Tape-E?

As I am of the same generation as some of the RQ peeps, I unironically loved Clippy and Mr Blobby as a child, and it gives me great joy to imagine, in the TMP universe, Sam getting a little pop up: ‘Looks like you’re trying to code a case file! Would you like some help with that?’ In our world this would be impossible - Windows NT (as the official name) was dropped in 1996, one year before Clippy was born, BUT there is voice recording on TMP’s ancient computers, so it’s not totally impossible! 😅😁

What are cassette tapes?

Just a little recap for those who didn’t grow up with tapes: Cassette Tapes contain information embedded in magnetic tape, wrapped around one spool and attached to a second spool. When played, the spools are turned by the machine and the magnetic tape is wound onto the other spool, the information read out through speakers as the magnetic tape moves through sensors. As the magnetic tape can contain different information depending on the direction of tape movement, you can flip the cassette tape over in the machine, and play the tape again, hearing another load of information. This concept is never utilised in the show, but it does mean that cassette tapes have A-sides, and B-sides (as Vinyl records do). Here, of course, this stands for Archivist-side, and Brutalpipemurder-side. On occasion, the magnetic tapes would become damaged, or bent, and could be pushed out of the cassette, causing a horrible noise, and terror to small children who were only trying to listen to their Just William tapes. When this happened, a pencil (or in my case, my little finger) could be jammed into the spiky spool ‘teeth’, to rewind the magnetic tape back into the cassette. Maybe that’s why the eyes are red? 🩸 I am very glad that the TMA tapes are magic, and record endlessly, never need flipping, and never get chewed up by the hungry machine.

Why is the name Tape-E?

Canon answer: the name stands for Tape-Eyes. Possibly Tape-Entity? Undecided.

Actual answer: Tape-y, Tapey and Tapie spellings look weird to me. I think Tape-E looks best.

Why a tape and not a tape recorder?

if you can crochet a tape recorder, you’re a genius and I love you.

What gender is Tape-E?

I might refer to Tape-E as male sometimes because that’s how people often referred to Clippy. But Tape-E is whatever gender Tape-E feels like being.

Why now?

Why not? also now is a good time because TMP episode 15 is an excellent episode

What’s going to happen to Tape-E?

I’m going to gift it to Jonny sometime, if we get more liveshows or book signings. It’s his fault this exists after all. Plus you can write whatever you like in the speech bubbles! Hopefully I can give it calmly? But maybe Tape-E will be yeeted in his general direction in a fit of ADHD-fuelled social anxiety. Only time will tell.

Tape-E is a pattern and design created entirely by myself. The inspiration and world building from whence it came, is entirely the genius of @jonnywaistcoat Jonny Sims, Rusty Quill @rqbossman and The Magnus Archives, which is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a creative commons attribution, non-commercial share alike 4.0 international license.

Clippy was invented by Microsoft and Kevan Atteberry, who now illustrates children’s books.

Mr Blobby is an adorable abomination, created from a fevered mind.

[wefindourselves]

Listen/purchase: The Olive Tape

The Olive Tape is a collection of new, exclusive songs & poems by 24 artists, compiled to raise funds for humanitarian aid in Palestine.

All proceeds will go to the PCRF and Anera. As of this moment, the IOF’s current assault on Rafah leaves a staggering population of over a million Palestinians trapped with nowhere to go. There’s never been a better time to give your support to notable foundations with proven track records in the area.

This tape was produced by a group of artists who care deeply and some of whom are tied personally to the occupation of Palestine.

If you have the time, at least listen give it a listen.

[tape-deck]

i've been listening to season one of the magnus archives recently and

[orderforbrian]

erm.....😳😳😳😳 POV: you are about to learn what the K stands for

(aka i want tma2 to consist of a very disgruntled martin finally getting the murder spree he didn't get to have in s5 feat. jon stuck in a tape recorder helping him when he's not swooning)

(and yes, this is fully based off lollipop chainsaw fjdsklfjsdl)

[Start ID: Digital drawing of Martin Blackwood from The Magnus Archives. Martin is a fat mixed Polish/Korean man with shoulder length, brown wavy hair that has a streak of grey in one bang. He wears browline glasses, one side obscured by a lens glare. He has a beauty mark under hip lip and a scruffy beard. He is wearing a cableknit blue sweater underneath a teddylined brown jacket, which has some dried bloodstains, and is also wearing jeans with a belt. He is looking up with a vengeful gaze and sneer, and is breathing out a puff of white fog. At his waist, he is gripping a chainsaw. The chainsaw has blue markings on certain hardware and the blade has two blue hearts in the metal at the front and back. At Martin's right hip is a carabiner in one of his belt loops, attached to it is a black tape recorder. The tape inside has green lines on it and each spool has a dot of green (representing Jon's eyes). Above the tape recorder is a bubble with a disembodied face in it (meant to be Jon). Jon has purple and green eyes with white glowing pupils, and is blushing, appearing to be flustered by his husband's state.

There are multiple arrows with text pointing around the picture. "Vengeful gaze" points to Martin's face. "Lonely, Eye, and Web aligned. Read: Ur fucked" also points to Martin's face. "Bloodstained jacket (apocalypse vintage)" points to his jacket. "Big arms (for poetry and cuddling) (and violence)" points to his arms. "Sorry boys, he's taken" points to a gold wedding band on Martin's left hand. "This chainsaw kills avatars" points to the chainsaw. "Husband (he's a tape recorder) (long story)" points to Jon as the tape recorder. End ID.]

some closeups

[cherrychan-0110]

Based on Eva's post:

[iotabetamuterranbotnetcrimes]

IOTA BETA MU TERRAN BOTNET CRIMES

CRIMINAL CONTROLLED BOTNET OPERATING USING IBM OR INTERNATIONAL BUSINESS MACHINES OR IOTA BETA MU COMPUTERS OPERATING FROM THE PLANET TERRA

[the-four-eyed-stray]

I loved the part in the Magnus Archives where Jane Prentiss said "it's wormin' time," and wormed all over the place

[dracosomniac]

Magnus yarnwork masterpost

I've been forgetting to upload some of these, so have the whole collection as one post

All original pixel art is from @podaliedja !! Used with permission!

[v1x-holo]

My sis loves him, I think he looks a little gay, But whatever makes my princess happy

[divnydoodles]

✨Circus AU concept arts! The Martin, Mari, n Mander 🎪 (Mari belongs to @cherrychan-0110)