#he's been a main since 2019? cause of that shit?? yeah I think it's finally his turn on the Xbox <3

[pierswife]

Good night and casual reminder that I fucking love my husband--

[druid-delaluna]

What happened in that official discord

I will not be listing anyone's names. Use your context clues or whatever I don't care, just don't send hate to anyone involved. This is just me trying to sort out my feelings on the situation and get some closure.

Okay, for context, I've been in the eddsworld official server since it opened in February 2019. I was a very active member and if you remember druid/laly that was me. In 2021 I was given the chance to become a curator thanks to an old admin(Also there were barely any adults and mods had to be adults to sign their NDA)

Another fast forward to July 2022, the mod team was told a few days prior that the server would be Patreon only. We made our case for being against the change but after a meeting with Bing, he change a few mod's minds (I still held onto it being a bad idea but it wasn't really like I could change the situation). The day happened, the announcement was made, and all hell broke loose. You can imagine what happen when you tell over 11,000 fans that their server is going to Patreon only when it has been free for the past three years.

So why am I speaking about my experience? Well, I wanted to put it to rest, I wanted to go into the new year not feeling like I held my tongue on a shitty situation. What happen is this artist during the situation made a comment about how happy they were about the change. Now I'm all for opinions, speak your mind you know. But in that situation where the mods are scrambling to handle a SHIT TON of angry and upset kids, it wasn't the time nor place for that. Also, I knew that this artist would get hate, so I reach out and told them pretty much to not fucking do that. It was taken wrong, maybe my tone or message wasn't clear of my intent? But this artist is an adult, they should have known better. And I honestly was just saying it, to help them out. They later come on to say they got death threats and I'm just thinking, what did you think I was trying to do by telling you to knock it off?? I knew that shit would happen and wanted to prevented it.(now I DO NOT condone death threats, earlier I told the mods to close their dms because I knew it would happen and it did) .It's the evening and this artist seem to have gotten their friends involved?? And I notice this tone and reaction to anything I do or say and I'm not one to beat around the bush, I ask what's up, get shit in return, okay whatever. It was when troll accounts were brought in to mock only me. Mind you there are other mods doing the same thing I'm doing, but I was the only one targeted by these trolls and members. Now I would think nothing of these trolls, we get them all the time. It's the fact this artist, their friends, and then crew members join in reacting to the trolls messages mocking me, with smiley emojis or something (I have screenshots of all these situations due to the server channels all getting deleted in the Patreon change). Mind you I am trying to help in the situation, I'm trying to calm people down, and do my job and this is how I'm getting treated, like horseshit. And I wish I could say this was one time, but no, myself and other mods have been treated like absolute crap by certain crew and server members. And nobody higher up did anything and it finally click they weren't ever gonna do anything.

That's what kinda started the downward spiral of my position there. I was heading out of state on a trip so I stepped back and focus on that and the trip itself and when I came back it was the end of the world party. I made that eddbot art, which pretty much sums up my feelings. I didn't take part in the party really. The change happen, 11k drops to 150ish. Now, mods DID NOT have to pay for Patreon. That was our gift from Bing/Matt (along with a store discount, which I never got). We were allowed to stay in the server with the paying members. The new main channel was the old Patreon one, so still emotional about that troll event, I looked up my name. Yeah....Not very good messages but I didn't want to cause trouble. So I just took it on the chin..again and kept my head up. I thought you know what, maybe it just was me and with time everything will calm down.

Then the Patreon leak happen. Once again, I never had access to Patreon, because I did not have to pay to be in that server. I saw the leak on Twitter and Tumblr, and I rb to my tumblr to keep an eye on it because wow that was fast. Went to bed, next day it was the talk of the server, a member earlier was caught sending leaks to other servers and was scolded but not kicked. It was brought up again and I told them, its on tumblr as well, thinking it be helpful for them to understand the situation. Then that one artist friend chimes in with a screenshot of my tumblr with the leak, pretty much saying this you?? So of course, I can't lie, I'm honest, my bad. Then two crew members come in and I kinda realize yeah this might be it. Due to one of them disliking me due to things that happen in the past between us. (whole another story). I delete the rb and apologize. I go to another server to chat and then see, I've been kicked from the server. I admit, did not take it well. My mod friends are all confused because none of them did it, and it comes out that the crew member who dislike me, kicked me even tho they arent suppose to act as mods. (it a whole mess man). The reason I was kicked was due to they thought I was the leaker?? Once again, did not have access to the Patreon, so wasn't me.

After my moment, I realized that I would be constantly dealing with shitty people and my socials being stalked to find something to charge(??) me with.... this was the push I needed to leave that situation behind. Most of the mods left after that in support of me. Bing reached out to me a few days later apologizing on that crew member's behalf, that I wasn't in the wrong and that I was more than welcome to come back. I declined and promptly removed bing from my friend list to cut contact with him.

And that's where it ends, I've blocked eddsworld, all the crew, and those artists' socials and been doing grad school and my own thing. I believe it was just a very emotionally charged situation and that nobody was thinking clearly. After the server change, it was the majority of adults but that meant absolutely nothing in common sense or correct ways to react to situations. From what I've heard thru the grapevine the server has spiraled into very toxic environment if you arent buddy-buddy with that artist who had an issue with me and their friends so take that as you will. I just want to get my voice out there so I don't feel inside that I let myself get hurt and did nothing to defend myself?? Look I get that I'm difficult to understand or I've rash and impulsive but I honestly never acted out in malice, I did a lot of things, in defense of others or just the greater good. I've stood up to the crew a lot due to shitty situations and still, I stayed because I thought well I can make someone's day, make it a good time in the server. I didn't stay for fame or to be featured in their spotlight just to make the day-to-day good. But it was a very hard lesson to learn that I can't save it all, that server crashed and burn and I felt I wasted time of my life on something that would eventually stab me in the back in a way...But there still good memories and I made wonderful friendships. Everything gone now, but I hope the good memories are alive in others spaces. So yeah, that what happened and if you have any questions feel free to ask.

[moonchild-things]

Chapter Five: Helping the Old Man

Summary: Born on October 1, 1989, Number Eight grew up with a strange power much like the other 43 children. After being adopted by Sir Reginald Hargreeves, Jemma grows up with six other siblings with peculiar powers just like her and lived a not so happy childhood. Now in 2019, Reginald is found dead, the once missing Number Five reappears after 17 years, and, oh yeah, the world is ending.  

Word Count: 5878  

Blog Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

---

MORNING ROLLED AROUND QUICKLY AND CAUSED THE city to be doused in the sun's bright light. People were finally getting up to start their day in the city as glumly as the day they had before. Daylight filtered through windows and woke up Vanya from her small, old bed. She sighed and sat up from her bed. She quickly removed her duvet once she remembered the fact that her long lost brother had shown up at her apartment last night. The woman climbed out of her bed and opened the door that led from her bedroom to the main room.

"Hey, Five," Vanya called as she exited her room and walked into the living room. She expected to see her brother sitting on the couch just like she left him the night before. However, her eyes widened as the young-looking boy was not there and the blankets that she had left out were untouched. Five had left, just like he had years ago. "Oh, shit." She rushed over to her phone that she left on the counter and quickly used speed dial to call someone that could help her find her brother.

The dial tone rang through her ears for a few moments until finally, someone picked up. "Hello?" A soft voice grunted from the other side.

"Jemma. I need your help."

Vanya could hear the sound of pans and plates moving around which probably meant that Jemma had been making herself breakfast. "With what?"

"Five left the apartment last night," she ran a hand through her brown hair, "I-I don't know where he is, but I think that he may have gone back to the Academy."

"That's a bit concerning," she heard the blonde hum on the other end of the call, "don't worry I'll keep an eye out for the old geezer, V."

"Thank you," Vanya sighed out. She is all too aware of how Jemma can be forgetful and unreliable for many things, especially when she was on a drinking binge. However, she figured that since it was something as serious as this she would help her. Five went missing once, they certainly didn't want him to go missing again.

"No problem," her sister said softly. The fact that Vanya could hear her voice clearly and that it wasn't shaky in any way, she knew that her sister wasn't drinking yet. No matter what time of day, Jemma always found an excuse to drink, Vanya was all too aware of that. However, assuming that she hadn't actually drunk anything yet was an optimistic idea. Vanya honestly could only go see for herself. She could kill two birds with one stone today. One: see if she can find Five and two; use this as a way to try and keep her closest sister from drinking any alcohol today.

"I'm going to come over, to help you search."

"Alright!" Jemma chirped, "don't eat breakfast there. I just made a bunch of waffles."

Vanya smiled at the animation in her words. She laughed lightly and walked back into her bedroom to get ready. "Yeah, okay."

"Hey! Stop that, those are for Vanya!" She heard a commotion on the other end of the call as Jemma was scolding someone, "You better hurry up, or Klaus is going to eat all of them."

"I will." Vanya lightly chuckled at her siblings' antics. "See you."

"Bye!"

Vanya hung up the phone and made her way back into her bedroom to get ready and dressed to head to the academy. She was ready to search for her brother and apologize to him about last night. She thought that she had been too rash during their conversation. The topic was one that Vanya was unable to comprehend completely, and she thought that she may have pushed Five too far. She most certainly didn't want to be the reason that Five left this time.

---

Elsewhere, further downtown, Five stood in an office that overlooked most of the city with its towering buildings. It was completely white and looked very professional which is expected because it was a doctor's office. It was Meritech, to be exact, a company that specializes in prosthetic limbs. He stared around the room while subconsciously rolling a prosthetic eye in his hand.

As Five was waiting, a middle-aged doctor came walking into the lobby. The man looked to be a basic, normal boring doctor that people picture when they think of a doctor, to be honest. His eyebrows furrowed, "uh, can I help you?"

Five turned to the man and walked over to him while raising the prosthetic eye for the doctor to see, "I need to know who this belongs to."

"Where did you get that?"

The superpowered kid stared at the man, "what do you care?" He realized that that probably wasn't the best response to his question from the way that the doctor and the receptionist raised their eyebrows. He came up with a cover story, "I found it at a playground, actually. Uh, must have just," he clicked his tongue, "popped out. I wanna return it to its rightful owner."

"Oh," the receptionist gushed, "what a thoughtful young man."

Five flashed her a sarcastic smile, "yeah. Look up the name for me, will ya?"

The doctor and receptionist shared a glance with each other. "Uh, I'm sorry, but patient records are strictly confidential." He stared down at the young-looking man with a tight smile, "that means I can't tell you-"

He rolled his eyes, "yeah, I know what it means."

"But I'll tell you what I can do. I will take the eye off your hands and return it to the owner. I'm sure he or she will be very grateful, so if I can just-" he reached for the eye from Five who just put his hands deep into his pockets.

"Yeah, you're not touching this eye." The glare that settled on his face was unsettling. The doctor was certain that he had never seen a child so intimidating before.

He squared his shoulders and said in an authoritarian voice, "now, you listen here young man-" He couldn't react when Five launched himself at him and grabbed his collar.

Five gritted his teeth in frustration, "no! You listen to me, asshole. I've come a long way for this, through some shit your pea brain couldn't even comprehend," the doctor was slowly becoming truly frightened by the boy, "so just give me the information I need, and I'll be on my merry way. And if you call me 'young man' one more time, I'm gonna put your head through that damn wall."

The receptionist stared in concern, "oh, dear."

"Call security," the doctor choked out.

The woman nodded her head and picked up the phone to do just that. "Yeah."

The boy scowled at them and gritted his teeth in frustration and roughly let go of the taller man. With the glare still painted on his face, he sent a fierce look at the doctor before spinning on his heels for the exit. He was going to have to come up with some way to get the information that he needed. Perhaps heading to the academy to find some help would be beneficial. Though as soon as that thought filtered through his mind, he instantly thought of his normal sister.

Did he feel guilty about leaving Vanya's apartment without saying anything? Yeah, a little. He could tell that Vanya wanted nothing more than for him to stay and all of them be one big happy family again. However, he knew that that idea was nothing but a fantasy. He couldn't really tell if Vanya thought that too, but he didn't care all that much. Yes, he missed his family quite a lot but there were more important things to worry about. If he didn't finish with his mission then he wouldn't have a family to properly reconcile with. The quicker he got done with stopping the end of the world, the quicker he could finally settle down and relax with his family.

---

The police precinct was bustling as it usually was every day. Officers were walking in and out with criminals attached to their sides in handcuffs while detectives spoke with each other about ongoing cases. One of the detectives, Eudora Patch, sat at her desk and shuffled through some files and papers on a recent case.

"Ballistics came back," Her partner, Chuck, came walking over with an evidence bag in his hands. "Bullets from all our shooters match."

Eudora glanced at him, "round-robin."

"Yeah, to quote a very smart woman, 'These idiots all shot each other.'" The two of them chuckled a little bit before Chuck continued on with his explanation, "uh, we also got IDs on all the deceased gentlemen. Not so gentle, as it turns out."

"Criminal records?" Eudora wasn't so surprised by the news.

Chuck nodded his head, "all of them. Battery, assault, a few dishonorable discharges. They're all hotheads. One and all."

The female detective nodded her head now that she knew the case was open and shut so easily, "well, that settles that."

"Well," the man continued, "there is just one thing. Remember the victim that got stabbed in the carotid artery?" Chuck handed Eudora the evidence bag with the bloody knife inside of it.

"Yeah," she examined the knife as she continued to speak, "one of the guys stabbed the other. What's the problem?"

"Fingerprints on the knife don't match our guys." Chuck explained as some excitement started to bleed into his voice, "but it gets weirder. It did match an unsolved cold case that came back, circa, get this… 1939."

Eudora just about scoffed at the absurdity of the statement. Someone over the age of sixty had killed at least one of those men in the diner the other night, no way. "Tell them to run it again. We'll pick this up later." An officer then approached the detective's desk and lead a handcuffed Diego in her direction. She nodded her head at the superpowered adult, "uncuff him."

Diego smirked at the officer who was taking off his restraints, "thanks, Rodriguez." He then turned his confident smirk towards the woman behind the desk he was now sitting next to. Though he only received a roll of her eyes, "so did you talk to the tow truck guy?"

"Shut up and listen carefully," she snapped and glared at him with narrowed eyes. "The next time you interfere in one of my investigations, you so much as breathe on one of my witnesses, or touch a piece of evidence, I'll charge you with obstruction of justice. You will do jail time. That clear?"

Diego scoffed in amusement, "damn. You need to relax, Eudora. All this bureaucracy is get-"

The detective gritted her teeth in frustration, "don't call me that."

"Look, I know you." He leaned on her elbows to get closer to Eudora and with a low voice he continued, "you like playing by the rules, but you live for putting the scumbags away. So why don't you put that badge down for one night and you come out on the streets with me? Without all this bullshit." He thought that the idea was perfect. He could vividly remember a time when he and Eudora- Detective Patch were very, very close with each other. She didn't completely agree with his nightly activities, but she believed that it was okay. That was until one day she changed her mind and thought that he was really only being childish. He didn't understand that at all! What's childish about beating the shit out of some criminals?

Her soft facial features twisted into an unamused sneer. "You're right, that sounds super fun." She had gotten used to Diego's actions in the past, however, now she was beyond annoyed with his antics. Not only was it just annoying to her, but it was also illegal. "But I think you missed some things when you got yourself thrown out of the police academy, so let me explain." Diego clenched his jaw, "this bullshit is what gets convictions in a court of law. What you do out there is a fantasy. I would love to play cops and robbers, wear a mask, and feel important, but guess what? Recess is over. It's grown-up time. You're still trying to prove that, when you were kids, running around in those stupid uniforms, that it wasn't for nothing." The two of them stared at one another for a moment as Diego absorbed her words and Eudora pinned him with a knowing stare. "Yeah, I know you, too, Diego." She waved her hand dismissively and looked back down at her paperwork to appear uninterested. "Now leave, before I change my mind."

Her words stung him as he stared at her with a neutral expression. He tried to keep himself from expressing that her words had hurt him in some way and just bit the inside of his cheek. She was right, she could see right through him. However, it wasn't like he was going to let his facade fall to show how vulnerable he was at that moment. He instead stood up and leaned down to say one last thing to her only to have her hand in his face. Diego just sighed through his nose and turned to leave the precinct. Eudora then looked up and watched him go as she rubbed her rabbit foot in what appeared to be anxiety.

---

The large, bulky figure of Luther Hargreeves came bumbling through the doors of a local gym in the city. People were already starting their day with vigorous workouts and boxing training. People grunted and groaned as they were punched and kick. Two fighters were currently sparing in the boxing ring as an old trainer shouted at them, "focus. Yeah. Break. Break. Move your feet."

"Excuse me," Luther called out to the older man in the ring who, Luther thought, appeared to be the owner of the building.

The man turned to him and gaped at Luther's large stature, "you're looking to box? 'Cause I may need fighters, too."

Luther shook his head, "oh, no, I'm looking for information on one of the guys that uses your gym. Diego Hargreeves?"

Al just scowled slightly at him and leaned against the ropes of the ring, "well, if you see him, you can tell him I'm this far from firing his ass."

"He works here?" The surprise in Luther's voice didn't bother the old man who only waved his hand dismissively.

"Eh, he, uh, mops the floor in exchange for the back room."

Luther nodded his head, "okay. Thanks." He then turned and started to make his way towards the back room. If Diego wasn't here then that would give Luther a change to... investigate his living space. That way he would be able to find out more about his brother and if he had a hand in their father's death.

"Think about the fight game, eh?" Al called out as Luther turned around, "you got the build."

Luther walked past the many fighters and down a hallway to find the back room that Diego had taken residency. He entered the room and observed his surroundings. It was a medium-sized room, nothing compared to the mansion that they used to live in as children. But if Diego liked it then it didn't matter.

He looked at a few of Diego's things in order to find some sort of clue to his brother having any sort of involvement in their father's death. Yet he couldn't find anything. He found a knitted piece of cloth with Diego's name on it and a pair of knives. Grace, their mother, had made each of them one when they were children. If Luther remembered correctly, she made them right after they chose their names. Things were a lot simpler back when they were children, he thought.

He sighed and walked away from the frame and caught a poster in the corner of his eye. He read it quite quickly and stopped in his tracks. He seemed to have found whatever evidence that he needed.

---

The young, time-traveling boy waltzed into his childhood home with his hands deep in his pockets. Each of his steps was heavy and loud as it was obvious he was headed somewhere with determination. After not being able to get the information that he needed while at Meritech, Five was determined to go there once again. However, he needed some help… much to his dismay. Yet he was certain that he would find enough resources at the academy to help him. He ascended the first flights of stairs and was easily about to avoid the sight of his mother who headed into the living room. He continued up the second flight and just reached the top when he was startled slightly by a shout.

"Five, there you are!"

The boy turned around to find one of his sisters stumbling over to him. With her blonde hair slightly in her eyes and her cheeks slightly pink, Five's eyebrows furrowed at her appearance. "Jemma?"

She hiccuped slightly as she swayed on her feet. Her pale cheeks were painted a light pink as she stumbled over her own legs and nearly fell on the shorter boy as she neared him. Five stared at her in confusion and the strange behavior of his blonde sister. The sight of Jemma seemingly appearing to be drunk was baffling. He did notice yesterday that Jemma had been drinking quite a bit, however, he didn't think that his sister had the capacity to actually become drunk. Mainly due to the fact that she had an impossibly high metabolism due to her superspeed and also because he thought Jemma wouldn't even think of drinking alcohol.

She flashed him a silly smile, "Vanya's looking for you, you know." She peered down at her brother(Younger? Older? She was too buzzed to really figure it out at the moment.) with foggy eyes that were quickly becoming clear at the sight of the boy. The blonde cleared her throat, "she called earlier. She said that you disappeared last night! Where did you go?"

"That's none of your business," he snapped.

Jemma flinched slightly at his tone. "You're our brother, Five. You show up after being gone for so long and we're worried." She explained as clearly as she could, though her words were slightly slurred. "That's all."

Five stared at her for a long moment. The softness in her blue eyes and the tone of her voice reminded him of their mother. Despite the signs of possible drunkenness that were slowly disappearing, Jemma could be a clone of their mother. Out of all of the eight children, Jemma certainly looked like she could actually be Grace's daughter with how similar they appeared. With that in mind, Five started to formulate a plan.

"You're worried?" Jemma nodded at him, "do you want to help me then?"

She tilted her head at him, "does it have to do with where you went last night?" She was obviously curious about it though still willing to help him with anything really.

"Yeah, yeah, totally."

Because her mind was slightly foggy and she wasn't able to comprehend the fact that her brother was being completely sarcastic, she smiled brightly and just about jumped at the opportunity to help him in some way. "Okay! What do you want me to do?"

He turned around and started to head in another direction, "change into something a bit more professional. You're going to act like my mom."

Jemma raised a small eyebrow at his words but nodded her head at his demands. "Alright!" She spun on her heels and started to walk away and speak her thoughts, "I'm sure mom will have some clothes I can borrow for... whatever this is."

---

"Five?" Vanya called as she entered the foyer of the Hargreeves home. It seemed to be empty with the lack of noise. She couldn't even hear the shuffling of Pogo walking around the parlor or the click-clack of Grace's heels. "Are you upstairs? Five?" She walked up the stairs and called out her brother's name while heading to the one place she would think that he was. She walked through the winding hallways and soon enough came to Five's bedroom. She entered the room to find the boy standing in front of his window with his back to her. "Oh, thank God. I was worried sick about you."

Five turned around to her with a small sigh, "sorry I left without saying goodbye."

"No, look, I'm the one that should be sorry." She shook her head with a soft voice, "yeah, I was dismissive, and I-I guess I didn't know how to process what you were saying. And I still can't, to be honest."

"Maybe you were right to be dismissive." He turned away from her, "maybe it wasn't real after all. It felt real. Well like you said, the old man did say time travel could contaminate the mind." He flashed her a rueful smile before it flattened into a flat line.

A thought then popped into her head, "then maybe I'm not the right person for you to be talking to. Look, I used to see someone. A therapist." Five shook his head, "I could give you her information."

"Thanks, but I think I'm just gonna get some rest. It's been a long time since I've had a good sleep."

"Okay," she turned to leave the room with heavy feet. All she wanted to do was make sure that Five was okay after coming back home and telling her that he had seen the end of the world. She didn't know what that would really be like and how it would affect anyone mentally.

Once Vanya left the bedroom and started to walk down the hallway, Klaus emerged from Five's wardrobe. He was wearing a very bright ensemble of clothes that almost made him look like a clown. "That's so touching, all that stuff about family and Dad and time. Wow!"

"Would you shut up?" Five hissed, "she'll hear you."

Klaus continued on in a mock heartfelt voice, "I'm moist."

Five grimaced at the man's choice in clothing, "I told you to put on something professional."

"What?" Klaus glanced down at his clothing like there was nothing wrong with it, which he didn't think that there was. "This is my nicest outfit."

The time traveler shook his head with a heavy sigh and started to head out of the room. "We'll raid the old man's closet."

"As long as I get paid," Klaus pointed out.

"When the job is done."

The two of them walked out of the bedroom before Klaus stopped the two of them to go over the plan. "Okay, but just so we're clear on the finer details, I just gotta go into this place and pretend to be your dear old dad, correct?"

"Yeah." Five bluntly stated, "something like that."

"What's our cover story?"

Five was baffled, "what? What are you talking about?"

"I mean, was I really young when I had you?" Klaus asked, "like, 16? Like, young and terribly misguided?"

Klaus' dramatics were starting to get on Five's nerves and he started to wonder why he had asked his brother to help him. Then he remembered that Klaus was one of the only other people in the house. That and Klaus was easily swayed to do what he wanted for a simple price. "Sure."

The medium continued on with the creation of their cover story. "Your mother, that slut. Whoever she was."

"Nice of you to say that, dear."

The two brother's turned to find Jemma walking up the stairs towards them in a far more convincing outfit than Klaus. While the junkie appeared to not have put any effort into his outfit for Five's plan, Jemma seemed to have tried a bit. She wore a nice light green, spaghetti-strapped sundress that reached down to her knees. Her hair looked to have been brushed a bit and wasn't as unruly as her brother's had seen. She had light make-up on which consisted of just pink lipstick and mascara while her cheeks were a rosy hue. Whether that was due to alcohol still being in her system or because she had put some blush on her pale cheeks, neither Klaus or Five were sure. Though they had to admit that she looked good and nearly identical to their mother.

Five nodded in approval, "it's nice to see someone knows how to dress professionally."

Jemma smiled in thanks to him and turned to Klaus with a raised eyebrow, "what were you talking about just then?"

"Our cover story. We met at the disco. Okay?" Jemma nodded her head at her brother as she followed along with the story, "remember that. Oh, my God, the sex was amazing."

Jemma's nose wrinkled in disgust, "ew."

Five was outwardly annoyed now as he turned to walk away from his siblings, "What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain."

Klaus scowled at him and playfully narrowed his eyes while pointing at the young-looking boy. "Don't make me put you in time-out." The two who were acting as parents followed after Five down the stairs as they got ready to execute Five's plan.

---

A tow truck slowly pulled into the driveway of a garage and an old man climbed out of it once it was parked. It was the same old man that Five had talked with while at the diner the other day. The balding man walked into his garage and started to settle in for a busy day. He walked over to his landline with leisure steps to hear voicemail that was left on the phone. "Yo, Syd, it's Johnny. Hey, look, we got a bunch of extra tows down here, down on Empire Avenue. The whole thing is a disaster. Kids all arrested. Trucks as far as the eye can see." The old man, Syd turned when he suddenly heard a sound behind him only to get hit in the head by a crowbar.

Syd grunted as Cha-Cha clamped a pair of electrical clamps on his nipples after being beaten for a long while. After he had woken up from being knocked unconscious he found himself in chains with a pair of menacing people surrounding him. "You gotta tell me how you did the London job in '66." Cha-Cha commented nonchalantly as if she wasn't torturing a man right now, "beautiful work. Really."

"I swear to Christ," Syd started to plead as he was tied up with chain attached to the ceiling and shirtless, "I have no idea what you're talking- I am just a tow truck driver. I've never even been to London."

Hazel didn't listen to the man's words as he just pulled out Syd's sandwich like this was any other normal day, which it probably was for the pair of assassins. "Tuna? Delicious." He held it out to his partner, "you want half?"

She shook her head, "I'm fine, thanks." The casual conversation was quite unsettling to witness for poor old Syd who was scared out of his mind.

Hazel took a bite out of the sandwich as he stood up and grinned slightly before punching Syd in the face. That effectively bloodied up Syd's face more. "That's for no mayo."

Syd started to whimper in pain and fear which caused Cha-Cha to stare at their victim questioningly, "does Number Five seem like he'd be a whimperer to you?"

"Not from what I heard." Cha-Cha held up the picture of the older version of Five, their target, to Syd's face and eyed them closely. "That seems close enough to me."

"Strong resemblance, I'll grant you that," the brunette shook her head, "but the space between the eyes is different, the chin is not quite the same. There's a dimple."

Hazel nodded his head, "there is a dimple."

"I am not the guy that you are look-"

Annoyed with Syd's babbling, Cha-Cha turned on the electrical machine that shocked their captive into submission. She growled at him, "no talking."

Hazel thought for a moment, "he was the only guy in the doughnut shop, wasn't he?"

"Was there anyone else in the doughnut shop with you last night, Syd?" Cha-Cha asked harshly which caused the chained up man to flinch.

"I don't know, just the waitress and some kid."

The larger assassin just about scoffed at the vague answer, "some kid? Elaborate."

"I-I don't know." Syd panicked, "uh, He was weird."

"This isn't twenty questions, old man." It appeared that Syd was starting to get on Hazel's nerves just like Cha-Cha. However, even though both of them were assassins and worked in a gruesome, unforgiving profession, Cha-Cha and Hazel could be opposites when it came to different situations. One example, Cha-Cha got annoyed and angered far easier than Hazel. But that didn't mean Hazel didn't get annoyed after a while. "Weird how?"

Syd started to stumble over his words while trying to explain the strange kid he had sat next to while at the diner. "He said something about coming there when he was young."

They were silent for a moment as a thought crossed over Cha-Cha's mind as she looked up to Hazel, "are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Italian for dinner?" Leave it to Hazel to think of something that has nothing to do with the task at hand. That and it was focused on food as well.

Cha-Cha and Syd spared him a disbelieving look as his partner shook her head, "focus, I'm talking about the kid."

"What about him?" Hazel continued to eat his new sandwich as Cha-Cha pulled him away slightly.

"Time travel's a bitch."

The larger man thought about it for a minute, "especially without a briefcase."

"What if the kid is Number Five?" It seemed like an absurd idea to think about, however, anything could happen in their line of work.

Hazel's eyebrows furrowed in concentration, "it's sort of hard to wrap your head around."

Syd chuckled weakly as he heard their words. Perhaps this meant that they would let him go and stop the torture that was happening to him. "You see, I told you, I am not the guy."

Cha-Cha walked up to him with a fierce glare, "what else did you and the kid talk about?"

"I-I think that's it." Cha-Cha nodded her head and took off the clamps to put them on Syd's earlobes, "Oh, wait, wait, wait- What are you doing?"

She flashed him a sick smile, "jump-starting your memory." She then turned up the power on the cables and watched as the man shook in pain

He yelled out as electricity surged through his body and lit up each of his nerves. The power was cut off and allowed him to breathe. "All I remember is he wanted directions to some department store." The old man panted out, "that's it, I swear."

"Department store? Okay." Hazle commented before taking another bite of his sandwich, "Elaborate."

---

The Hargreeves household was quite as it was at the beginning of the day. While everyone was out doing what they wanted and needed, Allison was still in the vast house. "But I'm leaving for the airport. It's not a big deal if I miss one session." Her desperate voice asked as she was on the phone with her ex-husband, Patrick. "Patrick, it was my father's funeral. You know, I'm pretty sure the court recognizes that as extenuating circumstances." It didn't seem like Patrick agreed with that fact on the other end of the line. Allison's words then grew soft, "is Claire there? Yes, I would like to say hello to my daughter if that's all right with you." She paused for a moment and listened to his words of defiance to the idea. As she did that, Vanya came walking down the stairs slowly. "No. Patrick! Don't-" The phone call then ended with a heartbroken and angry Allison who slammed the phone on the receiver.

"Are you okay?" Vanya asked in concern.

Allison didn't look in her direction while she took a deep breath, "yeah."

"Well, I've never met your ex-husband, but he sounds like an asshole."

"That's one word for it." Allison collected herself and control her emotions.

"You know what?" Vanya flashed her a small, reassuring smile, "you're probably better off here."

Allison was taken aback by that statement and glared lightly at her sister, "no, I'm probably better off with my daughter."

Vanya's jaw opened and closed multiple times as she realized her mistake. "Of course, um I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"You know," Allison sneered in anger, "if I wanted advice, Vanya, no offense, it wouldn't be from you."

The powerless Hargreeves stared at her for a moment and absorbed those words,"what is that supposed to mean?"

"You don't have a child," Allison bit out, "you've never even been in a relationship."

"That's not true," Vanya shifted on her feet uncomfortably. It wasn't true. Yes, Vanya was in a few relationships as a teenager and young adult. Allison would have known that if they had talked regularly as children. The only one who probably did know about Vanya's few relationships was Jemma. That was mainly due to the two of them living together after they left the academy and that Jemma didn't exclude Vanya from her childhood like their other siblings had a tendency to do.

"So you know what it's like to love someone like this?" Vanya just stared at her in uncertainty. "Like when you're apart from her, you can't breathe? Like you would- you would die, and I- I mean actually die," Allison wanted to cry, "to know that she's okay and happy. You separate yourself from everyone and everything. You always have."

The taller woman's words stung Vanya, "Because Dad made me."

Allison wanted to scoff at her sister's lousy excuse, "Did Dad make you write that book about us, too?" After only seeing Vanya avoid her gaze and instead look down at the floor, Allison started to walk away and past Vanya. She turned to her sister before she abandoned her completely in the large house. "I know that you've been there for Jemma. I guess you're responsible for making sure that she stayed alive for all these years. So you know that you're an adult now." Vanya was the one who Jemma was closest to after they all left the academy. Even if Allison didn't like to admit it. But Vanya seemed to look after their sister the best she could. However, Allison couldn't help but think that Vanya could have done more to help Jemma and her problem. Could Allison have done more than Vanya…? Allison would say yes, but she honestly couldn't back that up with actions. "You don't get to blame your problems on anyone but yourself." With that, Allison turned around and left Vanya to wallow by herself. The words that she spoke hurt Vanya to her very core and all she wanted to do was go home and practice. Playing her violin would certainly take her mind off of everything.

---

Blog Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[bi-bi-buckleydiaz]

i think not | owen joyner

requested?; - yes! Owen Joyner x reader - their characters might not be love interests on the show (readers is possibly a new one for Luke/which causes a rift in Juke) but they are in real life and are trying to keep it on the down low especially during cast interviews and with fans.

word count; 2K

warnings; language, yelling but only like two sentences

a/n; I didn’t know how to end it so the ending kinda sucks sorry. also side note, the character the reader plays on jatp is a character I’m planning on writing an x reggie fic with so be on the lookout for that !

that close up tho 

You didn’t mean for it to happen. 

Not the, relationship, of course. You wanted that to happen. You’ve been wanting that to happen since you were an extra dancer on the first season of Julie and the Phantoms and danced right into Owen on accident during The Other Side of Hollywood. He was sweet about it, of course he was, asking if you were okay when he was the one that got barrelled into. The apology coffee date turned into a movie night at his apartment which then turned into weekly Friday night takeout dates which ultimately turned into Owen blurting out one night that he liked you and wanted to be your boyfriend. 

You obviously said yes. 

Which brings you to now, two years later filming season two of JatP, except this time you weren’t a dancer, but a recurring character - Delilah Alarie, a 17 year old girl who can hear ghosts, but can’t see them, and forms an unlikely relationship with everyone’s favorite bassist in a ghost band. This is where the problem comes in. 

When you and Owen started dating back in 2019, you two decided to keep it on the DL because you both weren’t totally sure where it was going to go. At the time you were both so busy: Owen having his first acting job as an adult so he was getting used to the long hours, and you working what felt like 25/8 to get all the dance routines down pat. So you both just...didn’t tell anyone. That’s not to say people weren’t suspicious. Charlie was present at many movie nights and Tori liked to tease you about you how you’d spend your time between takes staring at the blond drummer and his fidgeting fingers. 

Filming wrapped and you planned to announce your relationship at the wrap party, but a certain 19 year old thought it would be smart to get a little wasted and passed out before you could say “hey, we’re dating.” Then, you all went your separate ways and you and Owen didn’t see the need to inform everyone of the relationship, especially because you had to figure out the whole long-distance thing. 

Then Covid hit. And there really wasn’t a need because you both were fighting so hard to not get insecure and worried about the hundreds of miles between you two. But you got through it. Between many facetime calls, a spontaneous trip to Hawaii, and one memorable meet up at a halfway point between your two states, you were finally back in each other's arms after the last three months apart. Of course, it was on set, where everyone thinks you’re just friends. 

So yeah, there’s a problem. Because you didn’t mean for the secret dating to go on for so long. Life just, happened, and now you two are constantly sneaking around your fellow castmates and trading secret kisses in each other’s trailers and having little rendezvous meetings in the apartment building’s pool after your roommates have fallen asleep. You’re sure Savannah and Tori have heard you sneaking out a few times, but they wisely say nothing. Charlie sleeps like the dead so your certain Owen is in the clear. 

It’s not like you two want to keep it a secret. Of course you want to tell your friends, it's just, since it’s gone on for so long you’re scared of what could happen. If they’ll get mad about the sneaking around and the lying. 

But alas, you knew the day when the secret would slip out would come. And today just happened to be that day. 

Your friends were already starting to get suspicious, you and Owen were starting to lose your subtlety with the sneaking around, and some fans don’t understand the term BOUNDARIES and caught you two outside the apartment building one day. You weren’t doing anything relationship-y, you two were just coming back from a short day on set because you both ended at the same time and were looking forward to some much needed alone time. But you both knew better than to hold hands or kiss in public, which you were glad for that rule when a few girls bombarded Owen when you both walked out of the parking garage to head inside. The girls posted about the interaction online and of course, assumptions were made about why you two were together. The cast brought it up, but you both shut it down. You really thought the secret would be exposed because someone would catch you two together...Owen is not good at keeping his hands to himself despite his own PDA rule. 

But no, the secret came to a head because Owen is a big fat st0upid head and got jealous over his best friend. 

It started as a normal day. You got up at the last possible minute, Savannah and Tori already eating breakfast in the kitchen, knowing better than to wake you up before your alarm. You ate, showered, changed into comfy clothes for the ride to work. Madi joined you and the other girls that day, now being a little older her dad trusted her to be alone with the older cast members and alone on set for a little while. You jammed out to Doja Cat and HSM because “range, Y/N, range.” Then you arrived on set to Kenny calling you and Madi over for an impromptu meeting before any of you could reach hair and makeup. 

“Alright, now that the rest of you guys are here, I have an announcement to make.” You looked around to see that it was just the main four and you, and that’s when trepidation hit. The only scene you knew of today that involved you five was when the boys finally became visible to you, and you and Reggie share a moment. It’s a hug, much like the one Julie and Luke shared in the season one finale. But Kenny had come up to you a few days ago, suggesting adding a little something something. He told you he wasn’t sure yet, had to run it by a few execs, but that Jeremy was okay with it and he wanted to make sure you’d be okay with it too. You had said yes, after all Jeremy was the one married so you were really only worried about how he and Carolynn would feel about the kiss, you didn’t even think about Owen. 

That was a mistake. 

“So, I ran it by a few execs and of course, our own Delilah and Reggie, and have decided that after their big hug moment, a little kiss would really make the scene and ma -” 

“Uh I think not.” It was muttered, but everyone heard it. And everyone froze, Kenny stopping mid sentence to look at the culprit. Owen was looking at his hands, completely oblivious to everyone staring at him. He didn’t even realize he’d said it aloud until Jeremy cut the tension with a little forced chuckle. 

“C’mon Owen there’s enough of me to go around.” Everyone chuckled a bit, but Owen froze in his fidgeting, his face going firetruck red and eyes darting over to you. 

“Shit. Fuck I said that aloud didn’t I?” He groaned, putting his face in his hands and, before you could stop yourself, you walked up to him. 

“Hey. Hey c’mon.” You gently wrapped your hands around his wrists and pulled his hands away from his face. “It’s okay.” You expected him to look stressed. Based on his tone of voice you were preparing for a minor panic attack. But when you saw his face, all you saw was anger. It shocked you, causing you to stumble back a bit. 

“You knew about this?” And okay, yeah, you also expected a bit of that. But not to this caliber. 

“Owen I -”

“No. No you knew and didn’t tell me? Didn’t think to mention that you’d be kissing one of my best friends? What the hell Y/N?” You flinched, not used to Owen being this angry and loud.

“Owen, buddy, hey. Let’s just -” Charlie started, trying to diffuse the situation having noticed you flinching. 

“No! This isn’t a ‘calm down’ thing. This is a “my girlfriend lied to me” thing and I’m very upset about it!” And whoop...there it is. 

“Owen...” 

“God just, really Y/N?” Then he walks away, leaving you surrounded by your confused friends. It’s silent for a few seconds, everyone taking in what just happened. 

“Um...I know this probably a really bad time to bring this up but uh...y’all owe me twenty bucks each,” Charlie said. Then everyone started talking at one. Kenny apologizing for not knowing, Madi berating Charlie for the bad timing, Charlie firing back that Owen is just being dramatic, and Jeremy consoling you with Kenny. His hand on your back jump starts you into action. You quickly excuse yourself to make your way to Owen’s trailer, knowing that’s probably where he stormed off too. 

You don’t knock when you get there, just walk in, making sure to lock it behind you. Owen is there on the couch, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. 

“Owen Joyner what the hell was that?” That’s not what you had wanted to say. You were going to be nice and ease into it. But he yelled first and now you're anxious and stressed and upset. He sighs heavily and looks up at you, eyes red and glassy with unshed tears. 

“I’m sorry. I - Y/N I didn’t mean to freak. I realized halfway here that was not the way to go. I’m so -” You cut him off by pushing him back and crawling into his lap.

“It’s okay. It’s okay I should’ve - I shouldn’t’ve just yelled and I definitely should have told you when Kenny proposed the idea I just got so caught up in the fact it’d be my first on screen kiss and it’d be with a married man who’s in quite possibly the cutest relationship ever and I was worried about -” 

“You’re rambling babe,” Owen says with a smile. It’s a soft thing, one that makes your insides all mushy and your heart starts beating a little faster. “It’s okay. I mean, I would’ve liked to have found out earlier and not in front of our friends - oh my God! I just completely exposed us didn’t I? Oh God!” He whimpers out a whine and leans his head forward onto your shoulder. You giggle at the blonde beneath you, running your hands through his hair as he pinches your sides for the laugh. 

“Babe, I’m pretty sure they already knew.” Owen whips his head up at that, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Charlie mentioned everyone owes him twenty so, i’m pretty sure they were betting on when we’d tell them.” Owen groans and grumbles at that, throwing his head back in a dramatic way to convey his fake frustration. He brings his head back center and smiles softly again at you. 

“I will make sure to steal it from him tonight. That’s our money babe.” You giggle into the kiss he places onto your lips. You two sit there for a few more minutes, exchanging kisses and trading affirmations of love. After a final kiss, one that’s full of passion and heat, you decide to head back to set. 

You walk into the stage with the studio hand-in-hand, smiles on your faces. Madi squeals when she sees you both, running over to hug you. 

“Yay yay! I knew you’d work it out and now I have another couple to fangirl over. Yay!” You hug the small girl back before she bounces over to give Owen the same treatment. 

“Congrats bro,” Charlie says with a smile, clapping a hand on Owen’s back and ruffling your hair up. Jeremy smiles at you two, hugging you both as well. 

“Congrats you two, now can we get back to the meeting? You two dating is old news. Like, 2019 old. But congrats on finally announcing it!” You look at Kenny in shock for a second, before bursting out into laughter, everyone around you following suit. Owen squeezes your hand three times and you look back over at him. You both shoot each other a small smile. 

It’s gonna be okay. 

[hxney-lemcn]

Seven Stages (Pt. 4)

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x reader

Fandom: The Umbrella Academy

Warning: Season 2 spoilers, death, violence

Main Master List | TUA Master List

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

╔═.✾. ═════════════

Once we got to Sissy’s house I couldn’t help but stare in awe at the unnatural weather. Snow littered the yard and a tunnel of energy formed into the sky coming from the barn. The trees bared no leaves showing how this must’ve been happening for a while now. 

“You think what ever is inside is causing the cold front?” Diego asked as we all exited the car. I mean it was obvious whatever was happening in the barn was causing the strange weather. 

“Well the correlation is high,” Five stated. I feel like sometimes he says bigger words just to make himself seem smart. I mean don’t get me wrong, he is the smartest person I’ve ever met, but still. He could’ve said something simpler than that. 

“Sissy!” Vanya shouted out. “Sissy!”

Sissy cocked her gun and pointed it at us, “Get back!” I mean a shotgun won’t do much to us but I understand where she’s coming from. “All of you, just get the hell back!”

“Sissy!” Vanya shouted once again holding a hand out. Klaus raised his hands up making me laugh to myself silently. Five was ready to do something if need be and so was Allison. I had my hand over my pistol which was strapped to my thigh. “Hey! Hey! What’s wrong?” Vanya asked with genuine concern.

Carl,” Sissy replied, looking over all of us nervously. 

“What did he do?” Vanya asked. 

“He’s...” Sissy said shakily. “He’s dead. Harlan tossed him aside like a rag doll, same way you sent those policemen flyin’. What did you do?”

“No,” Vanya said breathlessly.

“What the hell did you do to my son?” Sissy asked, I could tell she was really scared, and someone who is scared with a gun never mixes well. 

Lightning hit the barn and Diego started to walk forward, “We don’t have time for this.”

“Where do you think you’re going?” Sissy asked aiming her gun at him.

“To help your son,” He responded holding out a hand like Vanya did earlier. 

“Look Sissy,” Vanya said trying to calm her. “I found my family. These are my brothers and my sister, and our family friend.” Sissy looked at us all, slowly lowering her gun.

“Ma’am,” Luther said with an awkward wave and smile. 

“Where you lyin’ to me the whole time?” Sissy asked. 

“Of course not,” Vanya said honestly. “Look, I didn’t know who I was. But now I do. And we’re not the monsters that they say we are. We did not kill the president. We are not terrorists. We’re not here to hurt anyone.”

“Then...” Sissy panted lightly. “Who are you?” 

“The only one who can help Harlan.” 

Sissy finally trusted us and let us into the barn. Inside was a kid who was stuck in a ball of energy that he seemed to be creating. He wasn’t seem to be responding to anything Vanya said. So she stepped into the spinning energy ball. I stood next to Five who was standing in a defensive stance, ready to help his sister if need be. Poor man never relaxes. On the other side stood Klaus who...where did he...?

“Uh...guys?” Klaus asked, standing on the other side of the barn looking out at the field. 

“What?” I asked out already making my way over to him. 

“Oh fuck me,” I whispered noticing the handler and another person standing next to her. 

“What, who are they?” Klaus asked.

“One’s the handler,” I started.

“And the other’s Diego’s girlfriend,” Five finished for me. Diego has a girlfriend?

“Lila,” Diego said. “That’s my ex-girlfriend.”

“What?” Klaus asked genuinely surprised.

“You know what? Doesn’t matter now,” He said still staring at the two. 

“They both look angry,” I spoke out rocking on my feet slightly. 

“Yeah.”

“Our brother has that effect on people.”

“We’re going to go out there and find out what they want,” Five said motioning me and him. “You guys stay with Vanya and the kid.”

“I’m going with you too,” Diego said. “Come on.” With that the three of us walked out to the Handler and Lila.  

“I love that smell of fresh country air,” The Handler spoke up with a chuckle. “Don’t you darling?”

“It makes me want to vomit,” Lila replied grouchily. 

“What do you want?” Five asked, wanting to get this over with. 

“To watch you suffer,” Lila spouted making me stand in a more defensive position. Over my dead body will Five suffer any more than he already has. 

“What about me?” Diego asked like a puppy and it was clear he still liked her. 

“You’re not even worth my wrath,” She responded like that was the stupidest question asked. I would’ve high fived her for being strong but right now she was my enemy and I’m sure she also did something to Diego. 

“Easy,” The Handler smiled with a warning tone. “We’re here on official business.”

“What business is that?” I asked keeping my hand over my pistol once more. 

“As head of the commission, I’ve decided to eradicate the criminals responsible for the assassination of the former head of directors,” The handler said calmly. I looked at Five who looked even more on edge now which answered my question on what the fuck happened there. 

“Yeah right,” Diego said. “We didn’t kill the board.” Diego obviously hasn’t realized that Five did yet.

“That’s not entirely accurate,” Five said nervously.

“You didn’t tell them?” The handler asked, she seemed to be having too much fun with this. Five shrugged and she continued, “Oh Five.”

“Five what the hell did you do?” Diego asked. Is...is he really this dumb?

“What I had to do to get my family home,” Five replied and I felt my heart break a little. “Until someone regened on our deal.” He had to kill again, and the deal obviously didn’t work out or they would be in 2019 at the moment. The handler probably had something to do with it and at that moment I wanted to tear her to shreds even more than I did before. 

“Somebody wouldn’t have regened if somebody could’ve met a simple deadline,” The Handler countered, making it seem like Five was at fault. 

“You set him up to fail,” I spoke up with a glare. 

“He set himself up to fail, friend,” She smiled condescendingly and I almost launched myself at her if I didn’t know any better. “You and your brothers and sisters,” The Handler faced Five once more. “Kinda a running theme of your little life, isn’t it?” She had the gull to laugh. 

“He didn’t fail in finding me,” I said crossing my arms. 

“It won’t matter in the end,” She shrugged. 

“Dude, I can’t believe you killed the board of directors,” Diego whispered to Five. “You have no idea how messed up the commission is right now.”

“Messed up?” The Handler asked. “Who’s saying that?”

“Everybody,” Diego glared. “Christ even the janitors think it’s going to shit!”

“That’s not all he killed,” Lila chimed in. “Her too.” She looked at Five and I with a glare. 

“What are you talking about?” I asked confused. I haven’t killed anyone since I left the Commission. 

“Don’t play dumb you prepubescent piece of shit,” She growled and Five stood slightly in front of me. 

“Enough,” The Handler said. “The point is that you all are going to die today.” 

“Oh, well I don’t like your chances,” Diego stated. “Eight of us, two of you.”

“You know? You’re right,” The handler agreed, clearly something up her sleeve. “Let’s change that.”

With a snap of her fingers people from the commission started showing up. Hundreds of people all surrounding her and pointing their weapons at us. Five staggered back slightly, clearly fearful of what will happen to us all. My heart started beating rapidly and the hold on my pistol tightened. 

“What should we do now?” Diego asked. 

“Fight and die now, or run and die later,” I breathed out shakily. 

“Either way we’re food for the worms,” Five agreed. 

“Preference?” Diego asked looking at the both of us. 

“Wouldn’t mind breathing air for a few more minutes through the old wind bags,” Five shrugged and I let out a strangled chuckle of agreement. 

“Let’s get this over with shall we?” The Handler asked looking at her wrist, did she even have a watch? She lifted a red flag and I shouted out ‘run’ while we slightly tripped backwards. 

We all ran towards the barn and the sounds of people shouting followed us. They started to shoot while we were running for our lives. Five grabbed me and Diego and blinked us towards a red tractor. We took cover behind the big wheel.

“What now?” Five shouted over the sound of bullets ricocheting off the metal.

“We blink into the house man!” Diego shouted back. 

“Okay,” Five mumbled softly and tried to blink us into the house, but it wasn’t working. 

“What?” Diego asked. 

“He’s out of fuel!” I replied, joining the conversation. “He’s too tired.”

“Go, I’ll...” Diego trailed off. “I’ll cover for you.”

“Diego what are you...?” Five asked as Diego stood up. 

“Just go!” Diego shouted stopping the bullets from moving. Five grabbed my hand and dashed towards the house, taking one last look at Diego. Opening the house door he let me enter before following. I went under the table, Five joining me. He held me to his chest in a protective manner as something outside blew up. Bullets were nonstop firing into the house, the only safe spot being where we resided. All I could hear was bullets and Five’s heavy breathing. I felt tears prick my eyes, ‘This is it’. 

The sound of energy bursting emitted and suddenly the firing stopped. Five lifted his head from my neck and looked around, as did I. We hesitantly looked out the widow to see everyone dead...besides the Handler, Lila, and his family. Vanya was floating in the air, a bright beam of energy showing from her chest. Suddenly Lila floated up in the same manner, same glowing energy, and I brought Five with me back under the table. 

Luther crash landed in the living room. Five and I stared wide eyed at him for a second before rushing over. 

“Luther, you alright?” Five asked worriedly. 

“Oh, I think I swallowed my tongue,” Luther muttered out. 

Five rolled his eyes, “Luther, if you swallowed your tongue you wouldn’t be talking, you big moron.” I rolled my eyes at how Five’s demeanor changed so quickly. 

“Come on, to your feet,” I said gently grabbing his hand and helping him up. He stumbled back slightly dragging me with him, Five right behind me just in case. 

“Hey what the hell was that?” Luther asked. “What was that?” Luther held onto Five’s shoulders to stabilize himself. 

“She must’ve redirected,” I responded as Five looked back out the window. “Vanya’s energy wave.” I clarified. 

“Yeah I know,” Luther said. “But how?” 

Some bricks started to fall and Five looked up with wide eyes, “Watch out!” Five pushed me and Luther out of the way as bricks fell on top of him. I felt my stomach drop and the world around me seemingly blurred. I fell to my knees in front of the pile  and started brushing away the bricks. Luther helping me. 

Lila blinked into the house and I glared up at her, tears threatening to fall from my eyes. 

“What are you?” Luther asked. 

“A bitch,” I choked out. My throat felt like it was closing, but I had to keep my emotions under control. 

“Someone who want’s to kill your brother and his little girlfriend,” She replied nonchalantly. I grabbed my pistol and aimed it at her. 

“Well that’s understandable,” Luther said with a shrug. “Diego can be a lot to handle.”

“She’s talking about Five,” I grumbled, keeping my weapon trained on her as she made her way to Luther.

“Him too,” Luther agreed. “But unfortunately, they’re family, so you’re shit out of luck.” 

Luther went to punch her and she held his fist. I analyzed what she was doing like a Hawk. I couldn’t shoot because that would endanger Luther and I only have six bullets to spare. 

“How is this possible?” Luther grunted out. 

“Gotta believe in yourself big boy,” Lila mocked as she threw him out of the house. Lila glanced at me but decided she needed to deal with the super family before taking on normal me. I let out a breath as I realized what is going on with her. She’s super, she can use people’s powers against them. I went back to the brick pile and started digging for Five once again.

He can’t be dead, I mean he’s Five. Five the smart mouthed bastard who just couldn’t die. He couldn’t. He won’t. Not under my watch. I found blue in the pile and kept moving bricks. Suddenly Five sat up looking around. He looked at me and looked over my entire, for the most part, unhurt being. I helped move more bricks so it would be easier for him to get up. 

“Don’t do that again shit-heel,” I muttered out, once again almost crying. 

He brushed a stray tear away, “I’ll try not to.” We walked over to the opening that Luther left.

“Looking for us?” Five asked shrugging his shoulders slightly. I quickly wiped some blood from his lip as she called him a turd. “Let’s dance.” 

Five blinked and Lila did too. Shit I didn’t tell him that she has powers too. I ran into the house where they started to fight. 

“Five don’t blink!” I shouted but he ignored me as he continued. I fought where I could. Landing a few square punches, her doing the same. She grabbed a pan as Five was still trying to figure out how Lila could do what she could do. Five blinked out of the house, as did Lila and I ran out try and find them. I saw the rest of the Hargreeves out by the red tractor and  ran over to them. 

“Where’s Five?” Diego asked as I panted. 

“I don’t know,” I breathed out. We all decided to go to the barn then, since that could be the only place left. When we got there they were talking about some kill order. Yet all I could focus on was the knife she aimed towards Five. I was about to go in there, or better yet shoot the bitch, but Diego stopped me. 

“She never cared about your parents,” I chimed in entering the barn after getting Diego off of me. “She was looking for you. I was also confused on why she came on that mission with us.” 

Lila looked back at me, confusion and hurt showed on her face, “Why?”

“Cause you’re one of us,” Diego spoke up behind me, patting my shoulder, glad I didn’t immediately kill her. “The Handler stole you Lila, just like our asshole father took all of us.”

“No,” Lila denied. “It’s not the same thing.”

“You’re right,” Diego agreed. “Because he didn’t have our parents murdered. Listen to me Lila. You were born October 1st, 1989, the same day as all of us.”  

“Stay back!” Lila threated as we all were circling her. We backed up defensively as Diego continued to try and calm her down. Luther even joined in to try and gain her trust but she just faked gag.

“All right I tried,” Luther said rolling his eyes. 

“You’re right, we have to kill her,” Five said wildly. I can tell all this stress was going to snap him. Yet I kind of agreed with Five, having someone this unstable with those type of powers was dangerous on the loose. Five and I got closer to her but Diego stopped us.

“Five! Hey Five, (y/n)! Stop,” Diego shouted making us look at him. “I got it.”  Five stopped and so did I, and once again Diego tried to get her to trust us. She looked at us all and I smiled gently, hoping it would ease her into the right decision. Right as it seem like she was going to agree the world seemed to stop. 

Bullets shot into us all and I felt myself gasp as I felt my body become riddled with them. I fell backwards as I continued to gasp for air. My only thought at the moment was Five. I turned my head slowly to look at him and if I could at that moment I would’ve let out a sob. Seeing him riddled with bullets made the pain 10x worse. 

I grabbed his hand weakly as my last thought ran through my head, ‘I love you’.

╚═════════════.✾. ═

[kareofbears]

persona 5 strikers thoughts and feelings

This is going to be a long post. Like, the type of post you’d only really have time to read when you’re trying to sleep but you’re not ready to be unconscious yet so you’re just looking for something to do to spend your time with minimal effort. 

So in 2018, a masterpiece was born into the world: Into the Spider-verse was released and it was amazing—it’s honestly the best spiderman movie we have without a doubt, and it’ll be very far into the future before Spider-verse is beaten as the best spiderman movie. Them’s the facts. Then in 2019, Spider-man: Far From Home was dropped. It’s a great movie! Great characters, great continuation of who these characters are and works fantastic as a continuation of a story. It’s really hard trying to take the torch of a previous movie (or in Marvel’s case, juggling twenty something movies) and come up with a new movie that both works on its own, as well as being the next step in this series of films. Thus, with that idea in mind, I think it’s kind of unfair to judge into the spiderverse and far from home, because these are two movies with two completely different objectives in mind. 

Okay, so this is still a persona 5 strikers post, I promise, but the idea is the same: Persona 5 could basically do whatever it wanted—new story, new characters, new everything, and it’s just plain old awesome. However, Persona 5 strikers did not have that sort of freedom. It was bound to the original game, and it had its own rules and stuff it had to keep intact, characters they had to work with, and on top of that, it had to justify its existence as a sequel (lets pretend money doesnt exist lmfao). 

SO, the big question is: did it do that? Did it justify its existence? 

And my answer: holy fuck did it ever do that

I came into this game knowing the extreme bare minimum. I knew there was someone named Sophia, and i knew there was roadtrip, and i knew there were Personas. That’s my knowledge of it before i played it on the Switch.  I should also clarify like, early on, that i was not expecting anything from this game. At all. I was the world’s biggest cynic of this game—if you scroll down my p5s tag far enough, youll just see me complaining about a game that hasn’t even come out yet. I was fully expecting to have this be a Waifu show, and any male character that isn’t Akira to just be shoved aside like some kind of nerd in a high school hallway, and i have never been more pleased to be wrong. In fact, i actually owe it an apology, because of how fucking rude i was for no reason!!! Because this game deserves everything to be honest. 

Persona 5 strikers is, frankly, insane. Insane in the sense that it got to pull shit off that just would never have existed in the original game, because the original game is scared. It had to be as impressive as possible and garner as much attention as possible. Strikers does not have that problem—every single person who bought that game does not need to be convinced that persona 5 is a good game. They already played it. That means Atlus can just fuck around and have a good time, and man did they have a good time. There’s still scenes that still shock me if i think about it too hard, because i’m used to atlus having to follow this sort of rule set when it comes to persona 5 (or any of the main games im assuming, but i havent played them.) And on top of that, there’s still shit that’s Atlus Trademarked Branded in a good way. The style of story of story telling, and revealing the mystery that is so integral to what p5 is, is still there. 

So, to make this even a little bit comprehensible, i will make a list! 

First of all, What is this game?

In short, this game is an OVA of an anime. It’s bonus side content that has one thing in mind: to showcase these lovable characters more by putting them in fun situations. That’s it, and it is just phenomenal. That was the main point of, i’d say, like forty hours of the game. It’s just fun times with fun characters. 

But to get deeper of what i think is happening, or what they were thinking during the development, is that this is a second opportunity. Persona 5 (as we all know) had a lot of problems, and we were not quiet about those problems. We yelled it all out, made posts, made complaints on every social media platform ever. And Atlus heard all of them, and Strikers is a way to mitigate those mistakes. Aside from being a fun OVA, Strikers also works to be a deeper exploration of these characters—more specifically, the characters that did not receive much in the original game. Creating this sequel is having the ability to redo what they felt (or to be more specific, we felt) in the original game while adding new ones. I will get to that in a second.  

The format of the game 

Absolutely brilliant to throw them on a road trip. P5V already forced us to experience Shibuya for 200+ hours, and im so glad that they didn’t do that again. Going from town to town, making us experience these new places alongside our favorite characters is so good, and it just makes sense. It’s fun, it’s lighthearted, and it’s actually shockingly good. But one thing i do want to talk about early on is the way the story unfolds and the villains that they use, and what they do with it because it’s very interesting. 

So as we explore japan and stuff, we encounter jails, and with those jails comes an antagonist. This antagonist works to be a parallel to one of our characters. That character will find it in their hearts to feel bad for the antagonist, because the antagonist could have been them had the original game not happen. At first I thought all of the thieves were gonna get an antagonist, and i was really hyped for the ryuji one. And then came to hour forty of the game where i realized “yeah that’s not gonna happen. There’s just not enough time.” And i was right, and the game ended. But i am not salty at all, honestly, because the people who got a direct antagonist were: Ann, Yusuke, and Haru. (we wont count zen and sophie). 

Is there a trend??? Yes. these are all characters in the original game that have received the worst treatment by atlus. The three of them are basically cast aside the minute they finished their original arc, and its horrible! BUT that’s why this is the path that atlus chose for them—to give them more depth, and screentime, and a way to show their inner self. That isn’t to say that the ones who aren’t those three (makoto, futaba, mona, akira, ryuji) didn’t get anything. Futaba still has her thing at the end with ichinose, and she was very prevalent and animated during the rest of the game. Mona and Akira have to be a focal points, that’s just the nature of the game. The other two though, I will talk about in depth in a second.  

Makoto

Y’all i poke fun at shumako fans sometimes cause its kind of easy and fun, but i honestly love makoto. In my very first playthrough of p5 (my first ever jrpg game, first persona game, i had no idea what i was doing), i had only maxed out two characters: ryuji and makoto. And i know she had a lot of screentime and love in the original game which is great, but i truly felt like she was dissed in this game. Her only roles were

A driver

Someone to tell them “we don’t have a choice. Let’s keep going and see where this takes us.” (seriously, if you replay this game, you will see how much she does this)

Idk, i just wish she had more to do, especially compared to how much love they gave the other characters. 

But let’s talk about some of the new characters! 

Zenkichi

Damn you atlus. Damn you and your insistence at bringing in cop characters. I was fully on board with hating zenkichi, i was fucking ready for it. I was convinced that there was nothing they could do convince to like zenkichi. I was immune to their copaganda. 

And then i ended up loving him, which makes me sad a little bit. I didn’t realize how desperate i was to have an adult who has a persona. Someone who wants the world to change just as much as they do, while still having that aspect of them that makes them adult. Like??? As someone who is technically an adult, its a breath of fresh air. An adult. Who fights. For justice. Using a persona. And god i love akane so much, and her obsession with the thieves (that scene is probably in my top ten fave scenes of the game). Also what i loved about zenkichi is that he fucking hates the cops!! He hates the system of the cops!! And thats why i actually really started to love him!! Because i thought it was atlus saying that the systematic problem of the police cannot be solved by one person, and zenkichi threw away his badge. I actually cried at that part!! 

But then he became a cop again, and i was just :/ but as a character, i really love him to bits and would love to do a study on him, or at least use him as an outside pov. But! i absolutely love his persona, since im a les miserables fan hehe

Sophia 

she’s probably my favorite new aspect of the game. I was ready to not like her—again, i just suck like that, lmfao—and when i saw her, i was scared that she was just another waifu. I mean, she was very cute after all. But then as the game went on, i thought she was a little too cute. And even further into the game, i finally slapped myself in the face and realized oh my god shes not a waifu. Shes a sister. 

That blew my mind, im ngl to you. A female character that isn’t supposed to be romanced? By jove, what a miracle! 

And she…is an amazing character. Im sorry, i just love her so much. I love her so much that she  probably ranks as my fifth or sixth favorite character which is surprising even to me. Everything about her is delightful and invigorating. She’s funny??? Her comedic timing is amazing, and she has such chemistry with the rest of the team. She’s actually useful to the plot, and while her character design is a little too on the nose for me in terms of cuteness (i mean, good god she’s wearing oversized sweater to show how cute and tiny she is, and her hair has literal hearts in it), she is absolutely lovable. 

But what i actually really wanna gush about for a second is sophia at the last stage of the game. You get the idea, i dont really like to get excited over things, so at this point i figured that there was nothing this game could do to shock me. 

And then sophia had a persona awakening. 

Like. holy fuck did i yell. I didnt realize what was happening until the music had already kicked in. and its just so fucking smart!!! Sophia??? The ai?? With no heart?? gOT A PERSONA???? AWAKENING??? BECAUSE SHE LEARNED WHAT THE HEART IS AND THE PASSION THAT YOU NEED IN ORDER TO GET A PERSONA??? I started crying honestly, because it was just so smart. And looking back on it now, its obvious!! Of course it would lead to this, it only made sense that the culmination of her character arc leads to her getting a persona, nothing else would have been as good. Also, her voice actor is just amazing?? When she was talking to ichinose at the end, i actually got incredibly emotional because of the line reads. Its just so spot on and it really captures the essence of sophia.

Muah. five stars Atlus. You got me. 

Ryuji <3!!!!

Oh man. Oh boy. Okay. so where do i start. 

Yall know i love him. Hes probably my favorite fictional male character of all time, and he is the one i was the absolute most cynical about in this game. I was expecting literally nothing. Nothing. Like. nothing. I thought he was just gonna keep being used as a joke, or a gag, and he’s gonna be super horny all the time for the other girls and it was gonna make me mad and there was gonna be some insane homophobic/queerphobic jokes in every other scene and i know i was being unfair, but i cant help it. 

And then i played the first two hours of the game, and i cried the entire time. Because ryuji has never been better than he is in this game. Its crazy. 

The ryuji in persona 5 strikers is who ryuji should have been/how he should have been treated this entire time. From the actual funny jokes (for example, the gold bar joke + his reaction to it in the beginning of the game), defending his female friends instead of being the one people need to defend from (natsume arc), and the fact that he was the one to be there with morgana and akira in the very beginning of the game. Its such a small thing that they didnt even need to do, but it was such an integral part of the original game for me, that i just was convinced that nothing like this was going to happen. But then it happened. Its just small stuff like that that could have been overlooked but it wasn’t because this game? Persona 5 strikers? Fucking loves ryuji. 

The actual respect they gave this boy is insane and i wasn't ready for it. Like, they gave the shujin trio lunch, they gave the little charm of the katana when they were in natsume’s jail, and, in my opinion this is the second-best thing that they could have given ryuji is sophia. Ryuji and sophia are the pinnacle of a brother & sister bonding relationship in the game that isn’t akira & futaba. And its really prevalent too?? Small stuff from the beginning of the game (pulling her out of a jail, calling her shorty), but then you have the iconic “shut the fuck up” scene, and that scene was so well characterized and written and voice acted, that somehow him saying “fuck” was the least exciting part of that scene to me. Ryuji is an older brother to her, like its undoubtable, and its only further cemented at the end of the game where Ryuji helps out ichinose because he knows how much sophia cares about her. This game. Love ryuji. And i love. This game. 

You know what else i love? Akiryu. 

Guys. i was fully prepared to starve in terms of akiryu. But theres just. So much of it. I wont get too deep into it, because i think this aspect of the game for me still needs marinate a little bit. Like, what was that last shot when EMMA died and Ryuji walked to approach Akira so they could relish in their victory together?? And the smile from both of them??? What the fuck. That was amazing. Also Joker being saved by Ryuji when he was about to fall from the cliff to save sophia??? WHAT. The LEADER AND HIS RIGHT HAND MAN? WHAT. anyway. If theres anything i want to keep for myself in my own brain, its the akiryu aspect of this game, so i wont talk too much about that part of things (instead, itll probably manifest in fic lmfaooo). 

Sure, there’s tidbits of stuff i dont like that they gave ryuji: sexualizing ann in that one cut scene and making him touch the jails even though it hurts, and i recognize those and frown at them, but for the most part, i am blown away with how they treated him.

Basically, Ryuji has never been better. From the opening of the game with him being the first text message and the one to sling his arm around akira, to the very last cut scene where it was ryuji wordlessly leaving because he’s so confident that they would never be separated for long, this game adores Ryuji and i am so so happy to say that.

The Royal aspect of things

Yeah, i had to talk about this, but itll be a short thing i just wanted to point out. Because the last part of this game...is persona 5 royal. Which is curious. Like taking reality and giving that power to someone else so you dont have to experience suffering anymore? And even like, the final section just looked a lot like the top half of maruki’s palace?? And whats even crazier is that we had a boss fight with sophia, just like how we had a boss fight with sumire? Royal and Strikers have like, the same thesis statement. It’s kind of uncanny.It’s interesting, it’s like atlus came up with these two ideas, and then just decided they liked both of them so much that they just did it twice. I don’t mind though—actually, in terms of how the last Palace/Jails go, i probably like them both about equally. 

Though i did love the final battle in this one more than i did in royal. Splitting into teams?? Thats cool as fuck, and really innovative and i didnt see it coming. It also kicked my ass. A lot. 

Now for the last stretch: the small stuff!

The music — bomb as fuck. In my heart, Daredevil is ranked the same as Rivers. Axe to grind is also amazing, but Daredevil owns me

Akechi — i really debated whether or not to talk about him, but i figured a bullet point should be enough. Im really shocked that he wasnt in this at all. Like not even a name drop. If this is an OVA, and the point of the game is to please the fans, and akechi is arguably the fan favorite character, i was really ready for something. But there was nothing, except for the pancake hallway if that even counts as a reference. Thats it. Thats all i wanted to say about him.

The humour — FUCKING HILARIOUS im convinced that in my fifty hour playtime, five of that is dedicated to me laughing and unable to continue the game 

Akira — so much personality! His lines of dialogue are crazy sometimes (like. Whats up with him saying Ryuji has ‘nice abs’ when they were in bath? Im crazy and even i dont know what the fuck that could mean) 

Battle system — oh my god i almost forgot to talk about this. I love it! I kind of miss the turn based aspect just because i found it very comforting for some reason, but this hack and slash style of gameplay is so invigorating because i do feel like it justifies shit like the baton pass and huge attacks.  This battle system fully encompases how the Phantom Thieves are supposed to fight, you know what i mean?

Anyway, thats my thoughts on strikers. Loved it. Amazing. 9.3/10, wouldve been higher but Konoe’s Jail almost bored me to death. Also im a monster and i didnt do any requests that isn’t a fun one, teehee. As if i play persona 5 for the persona aspect of things.

[martialstories]

Tape to tape - chap. 1

Coops - High School AU

All credits for the world & the characters for @lumosinlove. (I’d also like to thank the list of 100 most popular baby names in Canada in 2019 and Most Common Last Names In Canada for helping me figure out names for side characters.)

I did some more research and found out that hich school in Montreal actually lasts only 3 years instead of 4. For the sake of my sanity, we are just going to ignore it since I have no idea how to work with that time frame.

With this chapter we jump backwards in time to see what the beginning of high school was like for Sirius.

PSA. The texts in cursive are inner dialogue. ;)

Enjoy!

(ps. Hazel, absolutely loved the new chapter but hated the cliffhanger. Please post the next one.)

_______________________________________________________________________

Sirius admitted that he was nervous. It was the first day of high school. He didn’t really stress about school since hockey was the only thing that mattered in his family. But he didn’t like things changing. And this was a big change.

You’d think that school wasn’t important for a hockey player. Partly you’d be right. But school was the only thing that made Sirius feel normal. There he wasn’t the hockey prodigy with a name widely recognised already at the age of 15. He wasn’t the family disappointment who had gotten beaten behind closed doors for years. There he was just a regular teen who isn’t the best of the class but passes every exam.

“Have a nice day Sirius!” Linda wished from the driver’s seat. “Try to relax a little. You’re gonna be fine!”

Sirius glanced at her with his face emotionless. “I’ll try. Bye.” He said before getting out of the car.

This was the part he hated. He hated the mask he had to put on every single day. He hated that he wasn’t sure if his little brother would remember who he really was or if he’d only remember this stonefaced teen who could only try to smile when sneaking into each other’s rooms. He wasn’t even sure if he remembered how to smile properly.

He hated this and wanted to get out of here but he knew he was still too young. If he wanted to pursue a career in the NHL he’d have to stay in school for a couple more years and get drafted after he graduated.

”Black! I didn’t know you’d come to our school! Listen up ladies and gents, this man will be the biggest name in the league one day.” Sirius turned towards the side of the main stairs. There he could see sitting around 10 boys and girls all wearing the same school uniform. A dark eyed boy with cornrows was smiling brightly towards him.

”Nice to see you Felix. And don’t jinx it.” Sirius said walking over. Felix raised his hand to ruffle Sirius’s hair but he was fast enough to duck.

”Alright, alright. It’s nice to see you too Little one.” Felix grinned at him cheekily.

Sirius groaned a little. ”Oh don’t start that again. This year there will actually be people my age in the team.”

”Oh I know. But you can’t blame me. You were actually tiny when you started last year. That name was earned.” Felix started explaining to his confused friends. ”Black here was way too good for his own age group so they decided to transfer him to play with us older ones last year. The thing was that this boy hadn’t really hit his puberty like the rest of us so he was about a head or two shorter than the rest of us.” That caused Felix’s friends to laugh. Sirius was shaking his head.

”Where’s your other half Felix? I thought you couldn’t do anything without him.” Felix’s twin brother, Levi, suddenly appeared at their side. The rest of the gang jumped a little but Sirius just ducked instinctively to avoid the hand trying to ruffle his hair.

Levi didn’t even try to act surprised. ”Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Hello, Little one. I still think it’s slightly creepy that no one can surprise you. What do you think Felix?” ”Definitely creepy.” ”As I said.”

Sirius just chuckled lightly and tried to move on as fast as he could. There definitely were reasons to his constant awareness of the things happening around him but he’d never say those reasons out loud. ”Alright boys. I have to head to class. You don’t mind telling me where the French classes are?”

”Yep, you just walk in, take the first stairs you see up to the third floor, turn right and you are in the language corridor. Then just look at the classroom numbers.” Levi guided him.

”Thanks Levi. I’ll see you at practice!” Sirius shouted over his shoulder while walking towards the doors.

Sirius had asked Linda to drop him off a little earlier than usual so he’d have time to find his first class. Bumping into the Wright brothers had cut that extra time down to a couple of minutes. As he walked along the corridor Sirius kept his eyes open in case he’d see any of his relatives that would need to be avoided. He knew that he’d have to face them at some point but the first day wasn’t the right time to do that. The longer he could avoid them the better.

Once Sirius finally reached his French class he could see it was almost full already. The teacher greeted him with a nod and told him to go sit at the back of the class where there were two free seats next to each other.

’Hopefully I am the last one. That way I wouldn’t have to sit next to anyone.’ Sirius thought as he lowered his bag to sit next to the desk. Sirius sat down and glanced around the room to see if he recognized anyone. There were a couple persons he knew from his old school but he didn’t know them enough for them to try to start a conversation with him.

Before he could let out a sigh of relief one last person walked through the door. Sirius watched as he walked towards the teacher who directed him to go sit at the back next to Sirius. As the boy started to walk across the class Sirius got a better look at him. Slightly taller than himself, kinda lanky but his stance was strong. Curly light brown hair, couple of freckles on his cheecks and hazel eyes. A small scar on his nose and he was one of the few people who could make the school uniform look actually good.

’Cute.’ Sirius thought. ’Wait, what? Since when have I thought boys were cute?’ ’Since him. And the cute ice cream vendor that we met during the summer with Reg. But mostly since this one. This one is also hot.’ ’What? No. Shut up.’

The boy had already sat down next to him as he was having that fun little piece of inner dialogue. (’More like the beginning of an existential cris-’ ’Shut up!’) The boy looked at him and offered him a small smile. Sirius just nodded and turned towards the front.

The teacher introduced herself and went over what to expect from this class. After 15 minutes she told the class to get to know the person sitting next to you as you’d be doing a lot of exersices with them.

Sirius eyes widened a little. ’Shit.’ ’YES! Now we get to know their name!’ ‘I still don’t get what you are talking about.’ Sirius turned towards the boy sitting next to him.

”I guess we are going to be a pair.” The boy said. (’Ah, his voice is like the prettiest dream.’ ’What does that even mean?’)

”Yeah, I guess so.” Sirius answered. (Stop being a jerk, idiot! Go on, introduce yourself.’ ’Shut it.’)

”I’m Remus.” (’Mon dieu! His name is Remus! Merde, I’m going to faint!’ ’Please, I beg you. Do that!’)

”I’m Sirius.”

”Nice to meet you.”

”Nice to meet you as well.”

After that they sat in silence for a few moments until Remus opened his mouth. ”Is French you first language?”

Sirius turned towards him. ”It is.”

”Oh, well in that case I think I should warn you.” Remus chuckled quietly and raised his hand to rub his neck. ”I’m really not that good in French. I just moved here like a week or two ago so I haven’t had the chance to learn. I actually am a year older than you but they put me with the younger class in French since I need to catch up on this subject.”

Sirius raised his eyebrow. ”I see. Where did you move from?”

”From Wisconsin. This city is quite the change from the small town I used to live in.” Remus told him.

”I can believe that. Did you learn any French before moving here?” Sirius asked, starting to get genuinely interested.

”Yes, I decided to take it as an elective subject two years ago but you can’t really learn a language in two years.”

”Well, it’s good that you don’t have to start from nothing.”

”D’accord! That’s enough. Now let’s go through the first chapter.” The teacher interrupted the chatter. Everyone started to focus on the teacher but Sirius was too busy gazing out the window and trying to figure out what he was feeling.

After French Sirius had a math class before lunch. There he found Felix and Levi again and sat with them. He knew it might have looked weird, a first year sitting in a group of third years, but he had no intentions to find new acquaintances. He had met the brothers last year and they were the few people he actually was friends with in the team. While Sirius played center, Felix and Levi were a pair of defencemen. They were also loyal and kind and Sirius liked them. After lunch he had two more classes before it was time for hockey practice.

The rink wasn’t far but Levi offered him a ride since they had to carry their equipment with them. Sirius accepted the offer so after school he climbed into Levi’s car. Once they arrived they got their gear on and headed to the ice.

”Okay, boys! Settle down and gather around! I know it must have been an exciting day but you can spare the talk for home. Today we are going to do warm-ups and then some drills. After those we should play some easy games to figure out the best positions for you.” Coach called from the bench.

Sirius didn’t really like this part of the season. They had started training a few weeks ago already but it was still confusing with the new players. The team dynamic always changed with older players leaving and younger ones coming in. It always took a little while for everyone to find their places.

”Let’s start with sprints, so skate around the rink and every time you reach a blue line sprint to the other one. Questions? Ok. Go!” Coach said and glanced at his watch. The team started to skate around the rink. Some players wanted to focus on the drill like Sirius but others were chatting casually.

Levi and Felix skated up to him. ”Look at the boy coach is talking with. Do you think he is gonna join our team?”

Sirius looked over to the bench but the boy there had already started to walk away from the rink. ”I don’t know. Didn’t see him.”

”Well he had skates on and looked to be around our age.” Levi reasoned.

Just as Sirius was going to answer Coach called them over. ”Good work! Next we are going to move onto the next drill but before that I want to welcome a new player to the team. This is Remus Lupin. He just moved here from Wisconsin, so be nice.”

Sirius froze a little. He watched as Remus came from the tunnel wearing a team jersey. He nodded at Coach and said hi to the team before kicking himself onto the ice. ’Oh this is wonderful.’ ’Stop. Focus!’ Sirius shook himself out of his frozen state as Remus skated over to stand next to him. They exchanged nods with each other and turned towards coach to hear him explain the next drill they were going to do.

For the first half of practice Coach made them do drills. While waiting for his turn Sirius could try and figure Remus out. He could see that Remus definitely knew what he was doing. His movement with the puck looked natural and easy.

At the beginning of the second half Coach gathered them around himself. Then he instructed the ones that played last year to find their old lines. Sirius stayed where he was as two guys skated towards him. Grayson Lee and Fenrir Greyback. Grayson was a smart guy and player and Sirius was glad to have him on his left wing. Greyback on the other hand was completely another story. In Sirius opinion he could have easily been a part of the Black family, with how racist and homophobic he was. Sirius really hoped he wouldn’t have to play another year with him but it seemed like he’d have to. None of the new players seemed good enough to compete with Greyback yet.

After they had gathered there was still about 10 guys left. ”Alright, now let’s see what we have left. Roy, you play left wing right? Go over there. Is here any defencemen? Ok, you can be a pair. Any centers? You can go…” Coach started distributing them into lines. At the end there was one new line created and the rest had been spread around the team. ”Let’s try with this. I’ll change your lines if needed. Black and Ricard, you first.”

Sirius won the first puck and immediately realized how much he had missed playing. During the summer they had had hockey camps and a few practices but it had been mostly other forms of training. He had missed how he could just play and forget about himself for a while.

Coach shouted directions and shift changes from the bench. These matches really didn’t have any winners. It was just to see who played well with who. When Sirius wasn’t playing he was following other players. Really he was just waiting for Remus to get on ice since he was the only one who he hadn’t seen play.

Finally coach shouted for Sirius’s line to get on. At the same time the opposing line was changed with the line Remus was in. ’Well, no we’ll see how he plays.’

The puck was dropped and Sirius won it. He passed it to Felix in defence who passed it back to him. Sirius started to circle opponents when suddenly someone came next to him and stole the puck from him. He turned quickly to see the other player already skating over the centerline. ’Is that Remus?!’

”Black! What are you doing?” Greyback shouted at him from across the ice.

Sirius just ignored him as he raced to get to Remus before he got the goal. Sirius could see Remus looking around him in search for his teammates to pass the puck to and realizing that they were still in their defensive zone.

’He’ll have to try to score by himself.’ Sirius thought. Remus seemed to have come to the same realization as he skirted around the goal. Remus managed to avoid Greyback trying to slam him against the boards and flipped the puck over Plante’s right shoulder. Coach blew his whistle in a mark for a goal and Remus’s teammates, who finally got to him, slammed into him. The bench was standing and thrumming the boards approvingly.

Coach shouted over the noise. ”Alright Lupin! We gotta change this up a bit, it’s clearly not working as it should. It sure is a pity there’s no tape on you as it would make my job a lot easier. Let’s put you with the older ones.” Coach decided to try Remus in Ricard’s line. Sirius’s line jumped over the boards for a break as another one settled to face Ricard’s.

Remus could clearly play better with Ricard’s line but the dynamic still wasn’t the best match. Ricard’s shift consisted of big guys who used their sizes in advantage. Remus on the other hand wasn’t as big but was one of the fastest players Sirius had ever seen. ’I wonder if we’d play well together.’

Ricard’s team scored a goal and it was Sirius’s turn. After they had played for a few minutes Coach whistled. ”Greyback! Switch with Lupin.”

Everyone stopped. It was rather rare that the top line would be altered. Especially with a newcomer.

”But Coach! Lupin hasn-” Greyback tried before Coach cut him off. ”Stop complaining. I want to try this out.” Coach nodded at Remus who was looking between him and Greyback. He jumped onto the ice as Greyback shot him a dirty look.

Remus took his place on the right side of Sirius and the puck dropped.

At the end of practice Sirius had already gotten used to the new dynamic of his line. He actually wondered how he had coped without it. Without Greyback Sirius’s line could simply use their speed and skill in advantage. Greyback was moved to Ricard’s line, where he in Sirius’s opinion fit well. He, after all, was on the bigger side and usually liked to use his size over his skill.

Remus on the other hand had been a complete surprise to Sirius. He didn’t often encounter players who could match his level but Remus was one of them. When Sirius may have been the best in handling the puck and one of the fastest, Remus was definitely the fastest and didn’t leave far behind in puck handling either. He also played well with Lee and Sirius was sure they would be a fatal trio this season.

[caswlw]

no wait what did beliza say about bellarke i didnt. i havent paid much attention to stuff re the 100 in like ~a year or 2 cause it started to make me legitimately insane and if i couldnt throttle jroth with my own bare hands then i refused to remain a tortured bystander any longer but now im like. they had me in a vice grip for so many years i need to know everything. also any time i think about destiel/bellarke parallels and THEN how beliza fucking eloped at the height of it all it makes me want to commit to a life of crime so thank you for the reminder <3 currently on my way to burn down the cw headquarters

ah yes ! beliza eloping and then the CPR scene were like the light of my life in 2019 i literally was in the fuckin clouds

but essentially they miscarried and it started a Whole domino effect. bob AND eliza asked for time off and that threw the writers and jroth off bc they’re the mains so bob was only ina few eps (7x01 at the Very beginning and i think some others that were short clips including a short flashback be/cho scene) and then he got a solo ep which was shortly followed by his death on the show. meanwhile, clarke spent like four episodes in the same scene bc they were doing a bunch of eps that didn’t take place where she was and some flashback shit so that also gave her time off. clarke kills bellamy four eps before the finale, her kid dies (kinda), and everyone else “ascends” (which. bellamy believed in ascension and he was killed for it only for them to realize he was right all along) and clarke Doesny ascend only for her friends to come back and live with her until they die- but they can’t procreate so they’re literally just living out the end of the human race while they have clarke a fake alien lexa that only she can see and didn’t bring back bellamy or madi bc “that’s how ascension works” as if they didn’t kill emori in that ep AND as if they didn’t make these bullshit rules

as for the bts, jroth was PISSED that they were trying to take time off, so instead of dealing with it like a grown man, he decided they would instead take all of the bellamy storyline and give it to the other male characters (which is so obvious with how gabriel was in that season) and then kill him, with clarke behind the trigger. he also made eliza act out losing her kid and have this whole traumatic “my baby my baby” screaming moment which makes the whole thing starting w the beliza miscarriage even Sadder. after bellamy died, bob posted abt it on ig which cemented that he wasn’t coming back and then shortly after the show ended he was at some kind of panel ? and he said that yes the plan after s6 was that bellarke was supposed to go canon officially (not missing any stops and no deaths with them either) in season 7, but it was cut bc of jroth changing how the season would work. beliza Together have since made a cameo acc and they have said on multiple occasions that they wanted to do it and that it would’ve been great but in the end it just was scrapped during the 11th hour before they started s7 and if jroth wasn’t a Child he wouldn’t have messed up the last season of this show (which was meant to have a prequel) bc his main actors needed time off to process a loss. his deliberate mistreatment of poc, and especially moc, is so evident in the show but also so clear with the way they handled the death of the male lead. anyway tho bellarke was the true ending and the fake lexa was just another way they tried ro fix the mess they made (which also like. they were saying shit like “maybe she’s in the prequel !!” as if the prequel wasn’t set like 100 years before her time) and yeah! that’s the scoop on how s7 of t100 was

[dyaz-stories]

Secret Santa 2019 — In A Hopeless Place (We Found Love)

Aaaand I’m finally here to publish my @inusecretsanta​ story! @witchygirl99​, I am your Secret Santa! I hope I didn’t make you wait for too long, and I hope you will enjoy it!

Also available on ff.net and Ao3.

The first sticky note the Office Lady leaves him is green. Inuyasha doesn’t pay much attention to it. He rips it off, reads the “Hey, would really appreciate it if you could make sure not to leave crumbs on the desk :) Have a nice day, K.”, written in calligraphy that he can’t help but identify as cute, scoffs, crumples it, and throws it in the bin.

The Office Lady is the woman who uses the same office as him half of the week. He gets Monday, Friday, and Wednesday morning; she has Tuesday, Thursday and Wednesday afternoon. Yes, it’s fucking stupid. He’s aware. Not to mention, he got the short end of the stick. She gets the longer week-end and he has to get up on Wednesdays. He blames it on Sesshomaru. Yeah, the guy only owns the company and probably didn’t meddle in his personal schedule, but he’s more than happy to blame absolutely everything he possibly can on Sesshomaru.

The K. signature kinda bothers him, though. So far, he hasn’t given much thought to the other person who occupies the office. He’s noticed the cactus she brought, and by her smell he can tell that she’s a human woman who, frankly, has no business smelling that fucking good, but he doesn’t even know her name.

K, huh? Certainly couldn’t be Kikyo. Last he heard — by a friend of a friend of a friend, ‘cause he most definitely ain’t checking on her — she had moved and was getting married. To a doctor. A human one, at that, so her family most likely hadn’t complained this time. Good for her. Probably. They were water under the bridge at this point. Maybe they wouldn’t have fucked each other up so bad, if they had been just a couple years older. If they’d been more experienced, more willing to compromise, more…

Why the fuck is he thinking about Kikyo? There’s a fucking reason why he keeps the memories buried as deep as possible.

Ah. Right. He glares furiously at the bin, at the bottom of which the notes lays. Crumbs, she said. Yeah, yeah, he’ll try. He was late on Monday, he ate in the office, and he definitely doesn’t remember cleaning up afterwards. Politeness would probably require him to write a note back, apologizing and promising it wouldn’t happen again.

He doesn’t.

Inuyasha hears from her again a couple of weeks later. If she was offended by his absence of response, she doesn’t show it. The note is still green. Again, he doesn’t pay attention to it. This time, he rolls his eyes and takes it off while he goes to open the window. He focuses better when the room doesn’t smell like her. He’s not sure why he’s so affected by it, quite frankly. It’s definitely very new. People who stink, sure, but people who are just so damn tantalizing? New. Some might even say a first.

Anyway, what does she want this time?

“It really isn’t a problem if you want to borrow a pen or something, but please make sure to leave everything the way you found it :) Have a nice day, K. PS: thanks for taking care of the crumbs, hope I didn’t come off too annoying last time!”

Ugh. He just has to roll his eyes at it, because how the fuck can she be so ridiculously sugary? God. If there’s one thing he hates, it’s people who act fake. He would know, he’s faced his fair share of them, being a half-demon, and he considers it a fact that they’re worse than people who openly hate you.

There’s no way she means that. There’s no way she’s that accepting and nice and not frustrated at him, even though this time, he didn’t even do anything wrong. Must be Miroku, the guy has a habit of dropping in to borrow stuff from him. He’s told him off multiple times, but it doesn’t seem to change a thing. He probably got the wrong side of the desk this time.

Also, who even notices that kind of stuff? He wouldn’t know if Miroku took half of his fucking supplies. Out of curiosity, he opens one of her drawer, and fucking hell. Pencils are organized by colors and sizes. Everything has its place. He lets out a disgusted noise. He’s not going to bother and try to rectify the misunderstanding, ‘cause that sounds like a stupid waste of time. If it had only been up to him, they would have never interacted in the first place.

He doesn’t need any more people in his life. The few ones in it are more than enough for him to handle, thank you very much. He doesn’t see why he’d need to be friendly with each other, either. They’ve never met, and he can’t think of any reason why it would change in the future. So, without thinking much more about it, he puts the note right where it belongs.

In the trash.

This time, it doesn’t take as long for him to hear about her again. The note is yellow, and Inuyasha vaguely pauses at the new color. How many does she have? Does she change them depending on her mood, or on the importance of the message? What kind of psychopath does that?

“You left the window open and it was really cold by the time I got there. Please don’t let that happen again. Have a nice day, K.”

Aw, no smiley face? The mask is starting to slip, then.

He does have some responsibility in this one, though. He has probably opened the window Wednesday morning as he always did, and then left it open. He can handle the cold pretty well, being a half-demon and all, but it is October already, and the Office Lady is human. Still, it had only been a few hours. No way it was that bad. Yet another thing he would make sure wouldn’t happen again, only this time, he may be feeling the tiniest twinge of guilt.

He hesitates longer before throwing out the piece of paper, and actually considers replying “Sorry”. Maybe it would deescalate things, get him back on her good side, where she writes on green paper.

He looks out the window, at the grey, cold sky. It’s generally cloudy, but Wednesday it was clear and blue. He remembers enjoying it.

Ah, fuck it. It’s her fault in the first place if he opens the damn window, even if she doesn’t know it and there’s no way she can do anything about it because he’s not communicating with her. He’s not going to write back on a colored sticky note. Plus, it’s Friday, so even if he did, he would probably rip it off when he would come back Monday.

His hand hovers above the bin, then with an annoyed growl he puts the note in one of his drawers. He doesn’t know why. He didn’t even keep the nice ones. He tells himself it’s because that way, he’ll keep track of the things she asks him and it’ll be easier. He tells himself it has nothing to do with the fact that he’s starting to enjoy this contact with this unknown woman who smells strangely nice.

Nothing at all.

Then, the Office Lady leaves a furious pink note on the desk, and Inuyasha realizes that yes, they are color-coded, and apparently she bases said color on the severity of the offense. She’s fucking weird. Who does she think he is, a five-year old? (Miroku does tell him he acts like one, but he refuses to take it into consideration right now)

“Listen. The crumbs, the pen, that’s okay. The window, it’s annoying because I have to keep my jacket on and it makes squeaky sounds whenever I move, but I can survive it. You not answering me, I think it’s rude and you probably have some deeply seeded issues about communication, but again, I’ll manage. The fact that you emptied my stapler and didn’t put any staples back in? That’s unacceptable. I want new ones. K.”

What did he say? A psychopath. She’s a fucking psychopath. Still, he grimaces at the note. Him not replacing the staples is breaking the main rule of an old code between office workers. There’s only one thing that’s worse, and that’s not putting paper back in the printer once it’s empty.

Not that it justifies her tone. Who does she think she is, exactly? Think she’s perfect, huh? Well, he doesn’t have dirt on her right now, but there’s no way she didn’t annoy him since they started sharing the space. She, erm, she left the computer on that one time and he certainly didn’t write her a green note to complain about it. And she left her key on the locked drawers on her side of the office and did he scold her for it? Nah, he didn’t even touch the thing — that would have deserved some yellow note, at least.

Again, he could, and maybe he should, apologize. He could reply on her note. He definitely doesn’t. He’s not playing her weird game. At this point, frankly, he thinks it must be a kink of hers. There’s no other way around it.

He knows he kept the yellow note for whatever reason, but this one, certainly, should go straight into the trash. He crumples it in his hand. Then he hesitates. Maybe she’ll try to murder him one day and this will be evidence that she was insane from the very beginning.

He keeps the note.

When Inuyasha arrives on Monday, he has a little stack of staples refills, which he puts on her side of the desk. He could write her a note about it.

He doesn’t.

The Office Lady replies with a yellow note, and Inuyasha feels strangely satisfied when he sees the color. Not that he feels guilty about the whole thing, ahah, certainly not, or that he wants the Office Lady to at least think of him in friendly ways, but, well, since most people out there hate him for no valid reason, maybe he can do with one less person disliking him.

“Thanks. K.”

He’s not disappointed by the one-word reply, and even if he was, it would not be childish. Miroku would say something about how he can’t expect people to congratulate him for basic decency, and he would retort that this was not basic human decency, that if she wanted him not to empty the stapler, she shouldn’t have left it out, and that he had no obligation to buy her refills.

Thank God he doesn’t talk to Miroku about that shit. Miroku does most of the talking for them both.

He moves the notes into his locked drawer. He doesn’t want her to know he’s keeping them, or anyone, at this point. Weirdly enough, this is the most he’s interacted with someone he didn’t already in quite some time.

“Thanks”, she said.

Well. It’s some sort of improvement, isn’t it?

November starts without any new notes having been sent, and Inuyasha finds himself getting bored at work a lot. He tries to tell himself he’s not expecting anything, but well, he’s lying to himself and he knows it, and he also can’t stop himself from thinking about how fucking stupid it is.

The Office Lady could be anyone. She probably doesn’t think about him half as often as he thinks about her, but hey, she doesn’t have to handle his smell. They’re not fucking lovers, they’re certainly not friends, and they’re not even acquaintances. They’ve never met, never seen each other. She doesn’t owe him anything, and their only interactions were one-sided, from her point of view at least.

He hates himself.

But on Friday morning, he walks in the office, and is almost knocked out by the overpowering smell of flower. His vision blurs, and he can only press a hand against his nose to try to lessen the smell. It’s not exactly working. A reasonable person would probably call for help, but ‘reasonable’ was never a word one could apply to Inuyasha. He manages to stagger to the window and to open it. There, he takes long, calming breath of air, before turning furious eyes to the offender.

Lavender. With the smell so strong that he can barely breathe, even now. He takes off his jacket and uses it to protect his mouth while he grabs the pot and puts it on the window ledge. Thankfully, the wind blows the smell away, and he sighs in relief.

Inuyasha walks to the desk in what can only be qualified as a blind rage. He has to move slowly so he won’t rip off the handle for the top drawer, and once he’s there, he has to try several time before he stops tearing to shreds the notes with his claws. Finally, he manages to get a pink one.

Yeah, he’s aware, he said he wouldn’t write back to her, and certainly not use her color-code, but fucking hell, she’s done it now.

“Don’t. Bring. Flowers. Again.”

His writing somehow manages to be agressive, but he cannot care less. As far as he is concerned, this means war.

Pink.

“You killed my lavender! If you don’t like flowers, couldn’t you just wait a day? K.”

Pink. (He can’t believe he is using her code. Maybe he should change it just to mess with her. They’re her notes, after all.)

“No.”

Pink. So this is a war.

“Wow, amazing, so glad you’re communicating with me.”

Pink. What a fucking bitch.

“Printer is empty.”

Pink.

“Oops, didn’t notice. You should fill it.”

Pink.

“You emptied it, you fill it.”

Pink.

“Why’d you kill my lavender?”

Pink.

“Who cares? Fill the printer.”

Pink.

“No.”

Pink.

“Are you a fucking child?”

Pink.

“How can you call me a child?”

Pink.

“The smell was too strong. Fill the fucking printer.”

Pink.

“The smell was too strong?? What are you, a dog?”

Pink.

“Half dog-demon, yeah. Took you long enough for the printer.”

Yellow. Shit. He wants to stay mad at her.

“Oh. I’m so sorry, I had no idea. I should have thought about it. I deeply apologize.”

Yellow. Inuyasha really, really wants to reply with pink, but he holds back somehow.

“You couldn’t know. Forget it.”

Green.

“No, seriously. I’m sorry. Can I get you something? Are chocolates off the table because of the dog thing?”

He wishes he could say it doesn’t make him laugh.

Green.

“Ramen.”

Next time, there’s a green note on a small pack of ramen, saying “Enjoy! :)” Inuyasha answers with a green note that says “Thanks”.

It’s probably the nicest exchange they’ve had since this began.

The Office Lady puts out a family picture. It features an old man, a middle-aged woman and a young boy who’s probably in high-school. Inuyasha doesn’t really want to comment on it, but he wants to know if she’s the woman.

He picks a green note, and for once, he starts the conversation. “Who are they?”

Green note.

“Mom, grandpa and little brother! You can put your pictures up if you want to, I don’t mind :)”

He would be lying if he said he didn’t miss the smileys.

Green.

“No pictures. We didn’t get enough time.”

Green.

“Shoot, sorry again :( Me and my big mouth…”

Green.

“’s okay. Been a long time.”

Inuyasha laughs when she gets him another pack of ramen as a way of saying sorry, and then he realizes that she got him his own set of notes. There’s green, yellow and pink, obviously, but there’s also blue, and he’s never seen her use blue.

He gets a green one. “What’s blue for?”

Green.

“Work. Boring >:(”

She’s fucking adorable.

Mid-November, the Office Lady starts decorating the office for Christmas, and once more, Inuyasha thinks about how much of a psychopath she is. Can’t she wait for December like everyone else?

After a few days, though, the tinsels grow on him, and he leaves a note, almost despite himself. Almost.

“The decorations are cute.”

Green.

“Aw, thanks! I’m so happy you like them :) I was afraid you’d be a bit of a Grinch.”

He’s a bit offended by how right she is.

Green.

“How about we meet for lunch on Wednesday?”

That’s stupid. He knows it’s stupid. And she will probably find it weird. But he writes quickly and then practically runs out of the office so he won’t change his mind.

On Wednesday morning, Inuyasha finds out she replied “I’d love to!! :)))”, and it has him grinning for the entirety of his work hours. Miroku drops in and acts shocked at seeing him smiling. Inuyasha throws something at him — his stapler. Miroku’s lucky, because the Office Lady’s cactus was right next to it, and it was really tempting to throw that, but he doesn’t want to start another pink-note war.

At noon, he waits in the office.

And waits.

And waits.

After an hour, he wonders what the fuck he’s still doing there. She ain’t coming. He’s not even sure why he stayed there for so long. It’s not like it’s the first time someone stands him up, and he barely even knows the girl.

He throws his jacket on, grabs his suitcase and walks out. Everything looks and feels cold, deserted. It’s noon, so there’s almost no one in. It doesn’t improve his mood, but it does make him feel a little better. At least he doesn’t have to watch them try to stay away from him in the elevator today. No such thing as a small victory.

As he walks out, he notices a woman running towards him. Wind is blowing in her black hair, and she’s wearing a green dress which only reminds him of the notes. He considers dropping the door and letting it hit her in the face, because he’s in a bad mood, but he’s also feeling sentimental today.

She shoots him a bright smile that makes her blue eyes shine when she realizes he’s holding the door for her.

“Thank you!” she breathes out as she runs in, moving past him pretty fast, for a human.

He only recognizes the smell after she’s gone.

She was late. He considers running after her, catching up with her, telling her. He doesn’t move. Sure, she’s early for her work hours, but she’s still late, so it must mean she didn’t want to see it that much, right?

The next morning, there’s a green note that says “I couldn’t make it I’m so sorry :(”

He doesn’t reply.

He is very surprised when he runs into her again, because it’s not one of her days. She’s running through the building, trying to keep up with someone who Inuyasha recognizes as Miroku’s Office Lady — Sango. Yeah, Miroku knows who his Office Lady is, because, like the weirdo he is, he communicated with her. Then asked her out on a date. Then she said no. Then he asked again. Repeat that for a dozen times, and then she showed up at his office and threatened to kill him.

Needless to say, Miroku’s in love.

Anyway, Inuyasha’s Office Lady is running after Sango, but they’re also both carrying big boxes of stuff that might very well belong to Miroku. If he was a good friend, he’d stop them.

He doesn’t even think about it.

However, when his Office Lady trips, he barely thinks before stepping in and grabbing her arm, steadying her.

“Oof, damn, thank you so— Oh, it’s you again.”

She smiles brightly, and his heart drops to his stomach.

“You held the door for me!”

“…’cause you were running.”

Not to be nice. He’s not nice. Why did he just catch her? He has no fucking idea.

“Yeah, I was… late,” she grimaces. “I’m Kagome, by the way.”

Kagome. So that’s what the K is for.

“Inuyasha.”

Her eyes widen, and then her gaze moves up to his ears, like she just suddenly noticed them, along with the white hair and golden eyes. He rises an eyebrow. Does she know his name? But how? She opens her mouth, but then Sango reappears.

“Kagome, hurry! We don’t have that long before he comes back!”

He should stop them right? He probably should stop them.

Miroku deserves it though, so he doesn’t move.

“I really need to help my friend,” she breathes out, “but you… We—We’ll talk again!”

Then she runs away, and he vaguely wonders if the whole thing actually happened as he stays there, standing with his hands in his pocket, looking at the corner at which she disappeared.

She smells even better from up close.

The only thing on the next note, green, is her phone number.

What the fuck is he supposed to do with that?

He waits for a little while. It’s definitely not the right move, and Miroku would kill him if he knew, but thankfully Inuyasha hasn’t updated him since the beginning of the note-war. Also, Miroku’s entire office was moved on the roof and he has been in a bit of a bad mood recently.

Tough.

One day, though, Inuyasha realizes that there are two golden plaques on the door. With his name — Inuyasha Taisho —, but more importantly, with her name.

Kagome Higurashi.

How did he never notice that?

He texts her that evening. Keeps it short and simple. Place and time.

She replies “It’s a date! :)”, and he kinda misses her writing, but it’s all set now. No backing away, and if she doesn’t show up this time, well, at least she’ll be able to let him know? He’s not sure about himself this time. He’s not quite the type to give people second chances.

Only, it might actually be worth it this time.

Of fucking course, she has to be late. It only makes sense, that she would torture him a little more. Inuyasha seriously considers running away the second the time is passed. But he waits.

Not for an hour, this time. Just a reasonable fifteen minutes, before she runs past the corner. She’s in good shape, he thinks when she gets by his side and is only barely panting, but he supposes if she’s often late, it would make sense.

“Hey, I’m so sorry, I had—”

“You’re always late, aren’t ya?”

She blushes, not in an embarrassed way but in an angry one.

Still just as adorable.

“No, no, not always, just… Just often.” She pushes some hair out of her mouth. “I’m Kagome Higurashi, by the way.”

“I know. ’s written on the office door. I had totally noticed.”

She laughs at that.

“I felt so stupid. You’re literally called Inuyasha. I can’t believe I made that dog joke, I’m so sorry by the way I—”

“That was a month ago. I’m over it.”

She frowns.

“You’re not really good at conversation, are you? Funny, I certainly couldn’t have told that from your notes.”

Is she making fun of him?

“So, wanna… Walk around? Grab coffee?”

Truth is, he didn’t plan the date, because part of him was worried she would bail on him, and he didn’t want to look stupid having to cancel a reservation at a restaurant.

“Actually, I need to go grab something at the office, if you don’t mind?”

“On a week-end?”

A psychopath. He knew it from the beginning. He can’t believe he didn’t pay attention to the signs.

“Oh come on. I went on week-ends when Sango wanted to get revenge on her Office Guy. It’s for myself this time. And kinda for you.”

Sango calls Miroku Office Guy. That’s hilarious. Did she miss the plaque on the door as well?

“’kay. I’ll follow you.”

Like he can say no to her. And they’re not even dating. Yet.

“Okay, just— wait a second, okay?”

Inuyasha shrugs. He hesitates a little before following her inside. He can’t say he’s really fond of the place, but mostly, he’s getting ideas now. Ideas that feature her sitting on the desk with her legs spread and him—

“Got it!”

Thank God. He needs to cool the fuck down.

“It’s for you.”

She hands him a carefully wrapped present, and he can only stare at it.

“It’s not Christmas.”

December has barely started. Seriously, what’s wrong with her?

“I’m late most of the time, but I like planning. Aren’t you going to open it?”

He wants to, but he also doesn’t want her to realize he wants to. So he scoffs and rolls his eyes. She leans against the desk, watching him with amusement dancing in her eyes and, yup, not looking at her, it’s giving him way too many ideas.

He rips the paper open, and ignores her sudden fascination for his claws. She seems almost disappointed at how quick he is at opening it.

It hits him like a punch in the chest.

It’s a picture of his parents. He hasn’t seen many of them, and he definitely doesn’t own any.

“I asked your brother,” Kagome says softly. “He isn’t an easy man to get a hold of, but Sango helped. She… has her ways.”

So Miroku’s Office Lady is a force to be reckoned with. He’ll remember that.

He clears his throat awkwardly, and carefully puts the picture back in the envelope. Doesn’t want to rip it by accident, and he is trembling a little.

“I don’t have a present for you,” he mumbles.

“I mean, you can think of something else you could give me, right?”

He squints at her. Surely, she can’t mean… Is she pulling fucking mistletoe out of her drawers? How many decorations for holidays is she hiding in there? How in advance is she planning? Again, what’s wrong with her? Now she’s holding the mistletoe over her head.

“Not that you have to,” she frowns when he doesn’t move. “I mean, I don’t want you to feel pressured into anything, I thought we had a good vibe and—”

It takes one wide step and his mouth is on her, his body pressing itself against hers between her legs. He kisses her hungrily. He’s been imagining the way she tasted since he first smelled her.

He’s not disappointed.

When she wraps her arms around him and brings him closer, he decides that she’s not disappointed either.

Good. Cause he has no intention of letting go of her any time soon.

Tagging list: @shinidamachu​ @sailorbabydoll92​ @sweetchcolate @clearwillow​ @zelink-inukag​ @cstorm86​ @digital-art-monster​ @danycontreras90​ @redflamesofpassion​ @lost-amidst-the-stars​ @eternalnight8806-3​ @desiree239​ @keichanz​ @ashleys-canvas​ @mustardyellowsunshine​ @meggz0rz​ @contacting-u​ @ramen---boi​

[roguish-gallery]

Did you ever make that joker tier list, I always like seeing what people think of all the different ones. Though if they put Romero last I can no longer respect them.

LMAO I DID! I think I’ve made it kind of obvious in this blog but I... don’t... particularly... care... for... the joker.... unless he’s, y’know, fun to watch. Cause he’s a clown, and clowns are supposed to be entertaining. But since you politely brought it up, and and because I have a deep respect for mutual Romero-lovers, I guess this would be a good time to explain my rankings and just discuss my general thoughts on each clown:

General Thoughts:

For the most part, I don’t really care for the Joker. This is hardly an uncommon opinion here on tumblr, but I definitely fall on the side of the fandom that feels that he gets too much attention from DC. I get WHY they use him so often for films and comics, and I don’t have anything against *most* folks who consider them their favorite Batman villain, but at this point he’s used more for shock value and as a crutch instead of anything interesting. Like, instead of giving attention to the other Rogues, writers (at least for the comics) will try and make up some bullshit story that they can shoehorn the Joker into, ‘cause it sells. It’s tiring, and I feel like the character has lost his meaning; I can only read so many stories about the Joker, I don’t fucking know, wearing a suit made from dead babies and Jason Todd’s flayed corpse before I get sick of it.

I’m at the point where I’ll like any Joker who’s just fun to watch. I genuinely respect those who prefer darker interpretations of the character, but that isn’t me; I vastly prefer the lighthearted takes on him, because... at this point... writers who use the “cleaner” version of him tend to be more creative, since they actually have to write a Joker story that doesn’t rely on gore/torture porn.

TIER ONE:

Joker Baby: Self explanatory. Joker Baby is thematic, thoughtful, and intense. Everytime I watch this video, I shiver with fear and pleasure; something primal in me awakens whenever Joker Baby runs his fingers through his spray-on dyed hair, and ends up smearing green paint on his forehead- it represents the inner turmoil, the chaos, that resides within the disturbed body that is Joker Baby. Nothing can ever hope to top the artistic and cultural impact Joker Baby has had on society.

TIER TWO:

Batman Ninja: I genuinely believe that Batman Ninja is one of the most fun, organic, and creative things to come out from the Batman side of DC comics in like... hmmm... a decade, maybe (I could talk for hours about how much I love this movie but that’s something for a future post). This Joker is easily, and unironically my favorite interpretation of the character, period. I love his energy, his design, everything. This is the most fun I’ve ever had watching a Joker on-screen, and for that I’ve gotta give the film credit where it is due.

Batman ‘66: I looooove Caesar Romero. Batman ‘66 in general is one of my favorite pieces of Batman media, and I absolutely adore this Joker. The show is pure, genuine fun, and it’s nice to turn my brain off and watch a show where the entire cast was allowed to goof around. This Joker is just a cute, goofy little clown-man who likes to commit crimes, go surfing, turn Gotham’s water reserve into gelatin, and have wild orgies with Penguin, Catwoman, and the Riddler. I massively appreciate the hustle. I love his little mustache and his facial expressions. I’d give him a chaste little kiss on the cheek if I could.

The Batman: EXTREMELY CONTROVERSIAL TAKE BUT. I think TB!Joker is better than what people will give him credit for. I can only imagine how stressful it must have been to be the first Batman cartoon to follow BTAS and the writers for this show knew they were gonna be fucked no matter what they did with the Joker, so they just decided to try something completely different with him. Personally, I appreciate the new direction- he has a fun, unhinged energy. I’ve placed him higher than BTAS/BTNA!Joker simply because The Batman was the show that got me into the Rogues in the first place, and I’m just a bit closer to this Joker because of it. Also his vampire form was cool as FUCK in Batman Vs. Dracula and the scene where he gets drenched in blood at a blood bank is fucking awesome.

Batman the Animated Series/The New Adventures: Everyone loves BTAS’s Joker, and I’m no exception. Mark Hamill is fucking great, and the writers clearly knew the character well enough to create a version of him that can be fun and threatening. As an aside, I unironically like his redesign in BTNA- I remember Hamill mentioning somewhere that he thought it was neat that this Joker looked more like a shark (I’ll see if I can find a source on that... I think he said it in an interview with Kevin Smith?) and I kinda agree with him. the redesigns in the final season are hit or miss, but I didn’t get why so many people bitched about the Joker’s new look.

Batman Unlimited: Hear me out... Hear me out... Clown... funny... and cute... He wears a little crown and gives Solomon Grundy a little smooch on the cheek and it is as delightful as it sounds. Yes the Batman Unlimited films literally only exist to sell toys but that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy them on some ironic level.

TIER THREE:

Lego Batman: He’s a gay icon. He has the range. Enough said.

White Knight: This is just a genuinely good, original take on the character, and the art in White Knight is absolutely gorgeous. 

Arkham: My friends and I joke that this Joker is basically a more unhinged version of BTAS! Joker and... yeah. I’m glad Hamill and Paul Dini got to fuck around with the character more, but I never really dwelled on the Joker parts of the games like I might have for other characters. I definitely liked him the most in Arkham Asylum, as he was more fun to watch. Arkham City was fiiiiine, but I think I replayed the game so much that I kinda got fatigued with everything about it. Genuinely hated his part in Origins, and I was pissed that he stole the attention from Black Mask and Bane (who’s the best fucking part of Origins IMO). I’ll admit that I... Haven’t... played... Knight yet (I have it on PC but my laptop is too wimpy to run it) but like... He’s dead at that point, so I’d assume he isn’t the main point of that game anyway. I love Mark Hamill and the fact I can personally beat the shit out of this Joker, so he’s ranked up pretty high for those reasons.

TIER FOUR:

Batman ‘89: TBH this Joker should be a rank higher, but I’m too lazy to hop onto PicsArt to change it. NIcholson was an excellent choice, and I apprecaite how this Joker makes use of the playful and unhinged aspects of the character. Also, his outfits are cute, and I love the museum scene.

Brave and the Bold: Technically this Joker SHOULD be ranked higher since he’s literally based on the more lighthearted comics in the 60′s but... ehhh... I haven’t really watched BATB so I don’t have any strong opinions on the show and how it handles the character. he’s ranked this high through beause I appreciate what they were going for.

Golden Age: The quality of comics are always subjective, based on the creative team behind them. Some I’ll like more, others less so, It’s kind of hard to rank the pre-52 comic version of the Joker because of this.

TIER FIVE:

Killing Joke: Read it, didn’t care for it. I acknowledge how massive the impact this comic had on... everything, but just because I recognize how important this graphic novel is, doesn’t mean I have to like it.

The Dark Knight: Ledger did an excellent job with the role, but uhh... I’m kind of sick of the alt-right chuds who are out there sucking this Joker’s dick. The fanbase definitely ruined the character for me.

TIER SIX:

99′: Eh

Endgame: No

Suicide Squad: NO

Death of the Family: Hate him. Despise him. Lame stupid dumb little edgy bitch.

Gotham (Jeremiah): I don’t particulary care for Gotham in general, but the only reason I ranked this Joker over Jerome is beause I thought it was kinda funny to see that they made him a little rat-man, and I liked watching all the fujoshi on here cry and complain that they can’t ship this version of the joker with the pre-pubescent Bruce Wayne in the show bc he’s too ugly.

Gotham (Jerome): stop shippping this freak (who is fucking eighteen years old) with a literal twelve year old child. what the FUCK is wrong with yall.

UNRANKED:

The Joker (2019): I don’t plan on watching this film, nor will I ever. I know this is ironic, coming from someone who runs a Rogue blog, but stuff that focuses primarily on a character’s deteriorating mental health makes me reaaaaallllllyyyyy anxious (it’s kind of a phobia) and considering that I don’t particularly the Joker, I have no reason to watch something I know will only give my dumb ADHD-ass intrusive throughts.

[lofitowns]

a miracle and a tragedy - e. kaspbrak

❝ HE HAD THOSE KIND EYES THAT SAID ‘EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY’ ❞

in which you love him and he loves you. but that can’t save him. (fem! reader)

             fandom ; it (2017) / (2019)

            word count ; 4411 (it’s a long one boys)

            warnings ; cussing + character death :(

             (y/n) - your name :: (y/n/n) - your nickname

i haven’t written in forever! so here’s a little come back. if you see any mistakes, please tell me! i didn’t really reread this after i wrote it lol

     you love him, you do.

     You were 15 years old when you realized you were in love.

     1991

     You were sitting on your bed, paper and pens and pencils spread all over. You were seriously stressed out. Your freshman year was coming to a close and finals were starting next week and you had no idea what you were doing. 

     It was a Saturday, you should be hanging out with the losers but your dad had told you if you didn’t get good grades on these finals, you wouldn’t be able to hang out with them at all over the summer.

     You checked your bedroom clock, it was only 2pm. Your dad wanted you to study until at least 4pm. This was exhausting. 

     There was a sudden tapping on your window making you turn your attention to that. There was Eddie Kaspbrak. Thank god your room was on the first floor. He definitely wouldn’t have been able to get up if it was on the second.

     You raised an eyebrow at him as he waved through the window. You laughed at his big grin as you made your way over to open it.

     “Hey! Can I come in?” He asked, looking up at you.

     “Eds, you know my dad wants me to study.”

     “Yeah, well, I can be your study buddy! We have some of the same classes, I can help.”

     You debated it for a few seconds before finally taking the screen off and letting him in. 

     He climbed inside, almost falling to the floor, but you caught him. 

     “You’ve gotta be quiet though, my parents are just down the hall.”

      You studied in mostly silence for a while, every so often you would look up to ask him a question and he would already be looking at you. This made you blush.

      “God, Eddie. I’m so stressed out about this. What if I fail all of them and then I can’t see you guys over the summer?”

     “Okay, first off, you’re literally the smartest person in our friend group. You’re definitely going to pass. Secondly, even if you do fail, I’m going to come visit you every single day. And I’ll bring all your favorite stuff and movies and I’ll hide when your parents come to check on you. How about that?” 

     A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as the boy spoke. You felt like you might cry. No one had ever said anything like that to you before. 

     “Yeah, that sounds great.”

     That’s when you knew you were in too deep with this boy.

     and here’s the miracle: he loves you too.

     He was 13 years old when he realized he was in love.

     1989

     “I can’t go home like this guys. My mom will kill me.” The small boy, Eddie Kaspbrak, said with a face covered in grime. 

     “Dude, you’ve been gone for 24 straight hours. Your face is definitely on a milk carton by now,” Richie joked making Eddie’s face fall in terror, “Also, that puke smells worse than your mom’s slippers.”

     “Oh, shut up, Richie,” You interjected, Eddie noticed you were gripping the handlebars of your bike to the point your knuckles were white.

     “Okay, first of all, my mom’s slippers smell like potpourri, asshole,” Eddie retorted as everyone started to wheel their bikes down the main street of Derry.

     You all started joking, just like normal. Like you hadn’t just crawled out of the sewer after fighting a child-eating clown.

     Everyone started going their separate ways, going to their respective houses, until Eddie was left alone with you. Your house was just around the corner from his so it wasn’t unusual for you to walk home together. But, Eddie felt different this time. He wanted to make sure you got home safe and you were okay.

     Your words interrupted his thoughts, “Do you want to come to my house? To clean up so your mom doesn’t freak out even more,” You offered, keeping your eyes on the bike wheel you were guiding next to you.

     Eddie’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he finally answered, “Yeah, sure.”

     When you arrived at your house, you checked to see if your parent’s car was in the garage before dropping your bikes in the front lawn. Eddie watched you move the small cat statue on the first step of your house to grab your spare key. You unlocked the door and led him up to your bathroom, grabbing a towel from the hall closet on your way.

     Eddie sat on the seat of the toilet, following you across the room with his eyes as you turned on the tab, trying to get the temperature right, before wetting the towel and putting soap on it. 

     You made your way back over to him, kneeling down. When you started scrubbing his face, his breath hitched in his throat. He kept his eyes on you as you continued your work, focused. You also reached up and tried to get some of the puke out of his hair.

     “Sorry, I don’t think I can do anything about the smell. Or your clothes. You’ll have to go home for that,” You told him, turning around to get some of the grime off the towel. You also grabbed a few bandaids and another washcloth with soap and water to clean his smaller cuts. Good thing he didn’t have any major wounds, not like Stanley.

     Eddie’s heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. Not because of an asthma attack, not because he had just fought a killer clown, because the girl he liked was sitting so close to him. If he just leaned in... 

     The brunette boy cleared his throat, averting his eyes away from you.

     When you announced you were done, Eddie quickly asked if you wanted him to help clean yourself up. He wanted to stay here with you longer. He knew his mother wouldn’t let him out of the house until school started, even if he just said he was at Bill’s and fell into a puddle or something.

     “It’s fine, Eds. Go make sure your mom knows you’re alive so she doesn’t actually put your face on a milk carton,” You joked, sending him a weak smile.

     Eddie let out a small chuckle, his eyes trained on you. You let out a small awkward laugh, reaching up to rub the side of your neck. He saw you open your mouth to say something, but he just moved forward and took you in his arms.

     “Hey, you’ll get dirty again,” You pointed out playfully, but none the less, hugged him back.

     Eddie could have stayed there forever. He didn’t even care that you both smelled like sewer or that his mom was probably freaking out. He didn’t know what he would do if something had happened to you.

     He slowly pulled away, looking at your face. You were looking at him too.

     “I’ll see you later, yeah?” You asked, smiling softly at him.

     “Yeah, of course.”

     Eddie walked past you, walking back out your front door. Once it was closed, he let out a deep breath he didn’t know he was holding. God, he was in love with you.

     you are allowed to have him.

     1992

     It was Christmas break. There were still three days until Christmas but Bev was leaving to see family in Portland tomorrow and you all wanted to give each other presents.

    You were squished between Richie and Eddie on the plush couch in your living room, watching A Christmas Story. Ben, Bev, and Bill sat on the floor in front of you, if you looked close enough, you could see her pinkie finger resting on Ben’s hand. Stanley was sitting on the chair next to the lit fireplace but was still curled up under a blanket. Mike sat in the chair on the other side of the couch, resting his head on his hand.

    You shivered, causing Eddie to switch his attention to you.

    “Are you cold?” He whispered as to not disturb the others.

    You nodded and in response. He turned around and pulled the blanket off the back of the couch. He leaned over and spread it over the two of you. You sent him a grateful smile, your heart starting to flutter as he hesitantly laid his hand on yours under the blanket.

    You had had a crush on the boy since you started middle school. He had always been there for you, especially after everything had happened with Pennywise. His laugh was like music to your ears and you always wanted to keep a smile on his face.

    Your eyes kept switching from the TV screen back to Eddie, from the TV to Eddie. Your eyes finally decided to stay on the boy next to you. You felt like you hadn’t taken a good look at him in a while. His hair had started to curl more and it lightened a bit. He had grown too, you remember being at least four inches taller than him, but all of a sudden he shot up. He had stopped carrying around that dorky fanny pack when you started high school.

    He turned his eyes to you, meeting your gaze. He moved ever so slightly to be closer to you, fulling wrapping his fingers around your hand.

    The movie ended soon after and it was time for gifts. All of you moved to sit on the floor in a circle. You had done Secret Santa this year so you all didn’t have to buy seven different presents.

    “Okay, I’ll start. I got Bill,” You announced, leaning over to him to hand him a rectangular parcel. He took it and quickly ripped the wrapping paper off. Inside was a blank sketchbook and a packet of colored pencils.

    “T-Thanks, (y/n),” He sent you a warm smile, “I had M-Mike.”

    Mike had Ben, Ben had Stan, Stan had Bev, Bev had Richie, and Richie had Eddie.

    “And that means, Eddie had (y/n)!” Richie teased, nudging Eddie in the side with his elbow.

    “Yeah, yeah. I’m gonna give it to her later,” Eddie retorted, a flush coming to his cheeks.

    A shit-eating grin grew on Richie’s face, “Oh I bet you are Eds.”

    Eddie groaned, putting his face in his hands while the rest of the losers club laughed at him.

    “Beep beep, Richie. And I told you not to call me that.”

     “But (y/n) can call you that? Suspicious.”

    It took a few more hours for the losers to start to leave. Richie tried to stay until Eddie gave you your present, but Bev made him leave, already knowing what you were getting. Eddie had asked her what he should get you since the two of you were so close.

    “Alright, what’s this thing you couldn’t give me in front of the losers?” You asked, pulling him down to sit on the couch facing each other. 

     Eddie chewed his lip nervously, holding the wrapped rectangle in his hands. 

     “Okay, please don’t laugh.”

     “Of course I’m not going to laugh, Eds.”

     He took a deep breath, pushing it across the couch cushion to you. You took it in your hands, taking the wrapping off of it. 

     It was a small brown book. 

     You furrowed your eyebrows, looking up at him. Eddie made a gesture to open it, so you did. It took your breath away.

     Inside were pages filled with pictures, notes, movie tickets from different times in your life with the losers. You let out a breathy laugh, smiling brightly as you flipped through it.

     “Oh my god, Eddie. This... This is beautiful,” You told him, setting the book aside and reaching over to take him in your arms. He wrapped his arms around you in return, resting his head on your shoulder.

     “Well, I’m glad you like it,” His words were muffled by your shirt, “You... You didn’t look at the last page though.”

     You pulled away, reaching over to open the book again. You flipped all the way to the back, seeing a picture of Eddie and yourself that was obviously taken by one of the other losers. You were sitting together on someone's couch, your head was on his shoulder and he had his eyes trained on you, a genuine smile on his face.

     Your eyes moved to a small patch of writing under the picture.

     Do you like me back?

          yes          no

     You let out a small giggle, reaching to the table next to the couch to grab a pen. You circled yes, closed the book, and pushed it back over to him.

     The tips of Eddie’s ears turned red as he opened to the back of the book. A smile pulled at his lips, passing it back to you.

     “Okay, well... Would you want to... Like, be my girlfriend?”

      You let out another giggle, leaning over to him and pressing a short kiss to his cheek. 

     “Of course, Eds.”

--

     Two and a half years later, you were all packed up for college and leaving in the morning. You had spent the whole night before with your friends, knowing it was going to be the last time you saw them for a while. 

     You walked back into your room from washing your face, looking around your near-empty room. You jumped at a sudden knock on your window.

     Your eyebrows furrowed as you turned around. A laugh fell from your lips, rushing over to the window to open it. Eddie’s grinning face there to greet you.

     “For old times sake, right?”

     Eddie climbed through the window and followed you to your bed. You both laid on top of the blankets, Eddie wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you to him.

     Neither of you spoke for a while, just wanting to cherish each other’s presence for the last time. 

     “I’m gonna miss you,” You spoke up, breaking the silence.

     “I’m going to miss you so much more,” He answered, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “And after we graduate college, we’ll go away somewhere. New York, California, I’d go anywhere with you.”

     You giggled, leaning up and pressing a kiss to his lips, “I’d like that.”

     You stayed like that until the sun started to rise. 

     “Shit,” The boy whispered, rubbing his eyes and sitting up, “I really need to get home.”

     You nodded, getting up with him, “Eddie,” You called softly as he walked to the window.

     He turned around as you walked towards him and planted your lips onto his.

     Your hands cupped his cheeks, his right hand going to your hip and his left going to your cheek as well. The kiss didn’t last long enough for your liking when he pulled away.

     “I love you,” He whispered.

     “I love you.”

     As he crawled out the window, you didn’t realize it would be the last time you saw him for 22 years.

     and here’s the tragedy: it’s not enough.

     2016

     The lights of Jade of the Orient shined down on you as you worked up the courage to walk in.

     It still baffled you how you could forget your whole childhood. Where you came from, your friends, your experiences. Eddie.

     When you did push the door open, a young lady greeted you and brought you to a room towards the back. When walked in, there were already two men standing there. 

     “(y/n)?” One of them asked, stepping towards you. Bill.

     “I’m so glad you made it,” The other greeted, taking you into his arms. Mike.

     You let out a laugh, hugging him back. “Yeah, of course I came.” You broke away from him and pulled Bill into a hug as well.

     Mike opened his mouth to speak when you all heard a voice behind you. You all turned around.

     “I am allergic to soy, anything that has egg in it, uh gluten, and if I eat a cashew I could realistically die,” The man told the waitress, making his way into the room. 

     He paused when he saw the three of you. 

     “Holy shit.” 

     “Good to see you too, Eds,” You greeted, quickly walking to him and taking him in your arms. He immediately pulled you closer. It felt warm and safe and like home.

     “(y/n/n)?” He whispered in your hair.

     You pulled away from him, giving him a warm smile.

     Bill and Mike moved towards the two of you to give Eddie a hug as well. You made small talk while you waited for the others.

     When they did get there, everything felt right. Richie hit the gong and announced the beginning of the meeting of the Losers Club.

     “Look at these guys!” Eddie exclaimed, pointing at Beverly, Ben, and Richie.

      Then you got drunk.

     “So, wait, Eddie, you got married?” Richie asked, his shot glass falling out of his mouth. You were sitting in between him and Eddie

     “Yeah, why’s that so fucking funny, dickwad?”

     “What, to like a woman?”

     “Fuck you, bro.”

     “Fuck you!”

     You let out a laugh, nudging Richie in the side with your elbow.

     “And what about you, Trashmouth, you married?” Bill asked, leaning forwards.

     “There’s no way Richie’s married!” You joked, holding your glass up to your lips.

     “No, I got married,” He answered, looking serious.

     “Richie, I don’t believe it,” Beverly retorted, eating a piece of chicken.

     “When?” Eddie exclaimed, eyebrows raised.

      “You didn’t hear about this?”

     “No.”

     “You didn’t know I got married? Yeah, no, me and your mom are very, very happy.”

     Everyone around the table lost it, Bill choking on his drink and Beverly letting out a loud laugh and covering her mouth. You threw your head back in laughter, glancing over at Eddie who’s eyebrows were furrowed.

     “Fuck you,” He pointed at Richie, taking a sip from the small bowl he was holding.

      Richie wrapped an arm around your shoulders and leaned into your ear, starting to do a Jabba the Hutt impression. 

     You laughed and pushed him off, “Oh, leave him alone, Richie.”

     While everyone was joking and laughing, Eddie turned to you. 

     “So, did you ever get married?” He asked, taking a sip of his drink.

     You shook your head, “No, I just... Never met the right person, I guess,” You shrugged your shoulders.

     Eddie nodded slowly, “Right. What do you do?” 

     “I actually work as a psychologist. I like being able to help people.”

     “You were always the best listener,” He told you, making you giggle.

     “So, you two are still in love,” Richie cut in, looking at the two of you.

     Both of your faces flushed before you spoke, “Beep beep Richie.”

--

     That night, you sat on your bed, blankly staring at the TV screen, it wasn’t even on. You kept seeing flashes of your younger self in your mind. A lot of them with a younger version of Eddie.

     You jumped at the sudden knock on your door. Your eyes turned to the clock on the nightstand, 11:53pm.

     You hesitantly walked over to it, cracking it open. There stood Eddie, looking at the floor. You opened the door fully.

     He looked up at you, opening his mouth to say something but nothing came out. 

     “You wanna come in?”

     He simply nodded, following you inside and closing the door behind him.

     You both sat on the end of the bed where you had been moments before.

     “Do you... Do you remember?” He finally broke the silence.

     You nodded, getting the hint at what he was saying, and he set a hand on top of yours.  

     “I still love you. I know I didn’t even remember you until a couple days ago but I don’t want to go anywhere without you again,” Eddie confessed, turning to face you fully.

     “Eds, you’re married.”

     “Fuck her. I don’t love her, not like I love you. She’s basically my mother and I would leave her in a heartbeat for you.”

     A smile tugged at your lips as you leaned into him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, “ Okay.”

     Eddie grinned, moving his hands to cup your cheeks, pulling you into another kiss.

     you are allowed to count the constellations in his eyes as they blink out,

     The house on Neibolt looked the same as you walked inside. The sewers felt the same too. 

     You emerged from a cave after escaping your fear. You were shaken but you knew your work was not done.

     “Hey, fuckface!” You heard Richie yell from across the room. Pennywise dropped Mike who he was holding and turned to your trash mouth friend.

     “Wanna play truth or dare? Here’s a truth, you’re a sloppy bitch! Yeah, that’s right! Let’s dance, yippee ki-yay mother-” He was cut off when Pennywise opened his mouth, showing him the deadlights. 

     A sound of distress fell from your lips as you saw one of your best friends rising into the air. You scrambled to get down from where you were standing when you saw Eddie run out of the cave behind Richie.

     “Beep beep, mother fucker!” He yelled, throwing the spike he had been given at the clown. 

     It went straight in his mouth. You couldn’t look away as Pennywise stumbled back, landing on another spike that went through his back. You let out a shaky breath, turning your gaze back to Richie and Eddie. 

     “Holy shit! Rich!” Eddie exclaimed, turning back to the man on the floor. “Hey, Richie! Listen, I think I got him, man! I think I killed it! I did! I think I killed-” He was cut off. A scream passed your lips and everything felt like it was going in slow motion.

     Pennywise stabbed Eddie through his back with one of his claws. He pulled him off of Richie and dangled him in the air, making taunting noises. A sob left your lips as tears started to fill your eyes. 

     With blurry vision, you watched the clown throw him into a cave and you had never run faster anywhere in your life. You slid down into the cave, your hands shaking as you helped Mike and Ben flip him onto his back. 

     Blood was pooling from his mouth and there was a gaping hole through his chest. You knelt in front of him, Richie shrugging off his jacket and handing it to you. You pressed it against his wound. 

     Pennywise clawed at the entrance, shouting at the seven of you.

     “We have to get him out of here,” You pleaded, brushing some of his hair from his face.

     “How are we supposed to do that, (y/n)?” Beverly asked, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

     “I almost killed it,” Eddie said weakly, “The leper. My hands were at its throat. And I... Could feel him choking. I made him small. He seemed so weak.”

     Mike and Beverly started making a plan when Ben came back and told you all there was a tunnel. The next minutes were a blur as you helped carry Eddie to a sheltered area while the other losers went to distract Pennywise.

     “Oh my god, Eds,” You whispered, pulling the jacket back to look at his wound. 

     “It’s alright, I guess you’ll just have to clean me up again,” He spoke, referencing the time you did when you were younger and when Henry Bowers stabbed him in the face earlier that day.

     You let out a watery laugh, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

     “You gotta stay with me, we’re gonna get you out of here, okay? And we’ll go away like we said we would. I’d go anywhere with you.”

     Eddie tried to smile, his lips completely covered in blood. 

     “I’d... I’d like that...” His voice trailed off and you let out a loud sob. 

     No, no no no no. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. You had just gotten him back and he was going to be gone again.

     “Eddie?” Your voice broke. He stilled but you could still hear shallow breaths. You needed to help your friends.

     Your pain mixed with your anger as you looked over to where the losers had cornered Pennywise. You shot up, running over to them and ripping off the spiked arm the clown was trying to use to stab your friends. 

     The six of you circled around the monster that had tormented you, calling him a clown. Making him small.

     Pennywise’s breaths were labored but he still brought out one more jump scare as Mike got closer to him. Your friend reached into the clown’s chest, pulling out his heart as he screamed.

     Beverly grabbed onto the heart first and the rest of you followed.

     “Look at you, you’re all grown up.”

     You all squeezed, watching him shrivel up and everything started floating up.

     It was finally dead.

     You let out a breath as Beverly leaned onto your shoulder.

     “Eddie,” You broke the silence, turning around and returning to his body.

     The rest of the losers followed you as you knelt in front of him, taking his face in your hand.

     “Eddie, hey Eds. We got it,” You whispered and when he didn’t respond, your heart shattered. 

     You heard Beverly let out a sob behind you, “(y/n)...”

     “He’s gone,” Bill spoke.

     “He’s alright, he’s just hurt. We gotta get him out of here,” You argued, turning to look at your crying friends.

     “(y/n), honey... He’s dead.”

     You turned to look at Bev, you knew. Of course, you knew. You didn’t want it to be true.

     “We have to go, come on.”

     You took the man you loved in your arms while Bill and Richie tried to get you to stand up. You cradled his head in your hands, crying in protest as they started to drag you away from his body.

     The six of you rushed out of the sewers, out of Neibolt house, as it was collapsing around you. You almost tripped from rushing down the stairs, Richie’s hand still on your arm to keep you going.

     As you watched the house crumble, you pulled against him, making Ben grab your other arm. 

     “He wouldn’t want to die in there,” You sobbed, finally collapsing from exhaustion into Richie’s arms. The man kept you standing, holding you and rubbing his hand over your hair as you cried.

    You were 40 years old when you realized you had lost your love.

     but you are not allowed to save him. 

thank you for reading :) have a good day!

[queenlists]

demonic love.

A/N: This is the short awaited part 2 of "He chose her, so I chose him". If you haven't read part one, please go ahead and check out "He chose her, so I chose him" before continuing. You can find it in my masterlist! Requests are open as usual. I was so excitedly overwhelmed by the comments on part one that my smile started to hurt after a bit. Thank you for all of the support! I appreciate each and every one of you. Also, I'm on the big 30 for followers! 30 people liked my work enough to follow me. That's just insane to me and makes me incredibly happy! Thank you all. I really hope you enjoy this! ❤✌

Post date: 11/24/2019

My heart is going crazy. It's hot. I'm hot. I can't breathe. I'm starting to feel suffocated. Everywhere I look, there's someone standing there. All eyes on me, waiting for me to say something. To say anything. I gasp out for air. I gasp out for help. I start to frantically look around for an out. For a pause button. Sam's chuckling to himself. He knows he's got me in a bad position. He's made me the spotlight, the main focus of a personal horror show. Dean is looking between Sam and I, he can't make sense of the situation "What is going on? How do you two know each other?" "Yeah, (Y/n). How do we know each other? Tell your fiance." Sam sniggered, cocking an eyebrow at me, smirking. His smile was identical to a snake's. 

I couldn't speak even if I tried to. My throat was drier than a desert. My tongue was stiff. My mouth was clamped shut. I just frantically looked between the two brothers. Sam was having the time of his life, laughing and clapping at my anxiety ridden state while Dean was getting very upset, red started to creep over his skin. "How do you know Sammy? Tell me, (Y/n)!" Dean harshly demanded. My heart dropped at his tone. He never talked to me like this before. I opened my mouth to speak, but Sam decided the fun of it all was getting stale "(Y/n) and I are together." Sam yawned, stretching. The audience dramatically gasped and started chattering amongst themselves.

I took notice of the side glances I got from the people that I knew and loved. I took notice of the new distance between the crowd of loved ones and I. I took notice of the small tear Dean tried to conceal. I noticed the short cackle from Sam. All of the sudden, everything became all too noticeable. I couldn't speak. I couldn't speak even after Dean ripped the metal off of my finger, pushing past me. I couldn't speak even after the sound of gravel crunching under Dean's heavy boots faded into the roar of Baby speeding off into the distance. I couldn't speak even after my family and friends gathered around me pleading for an answer, begging for me to even make a sound. Anything.  I couldn't speak even after my father led my weeping mother to the car. I couldn't speak even after my best friend stood there, holding my hand. I couldn't speak. I only stared at Sam. He smiled at me, completely ignoring the shouting coming from my best friend.

"(Y/n), let's leave. You sure are a piece of shit, Sam!" My best friend spat at Sam, tugging me away from the scene. I obediently followed my best friend's footsteps, looking back at Sam. Sam slid his hands into the pockets of his worn jeans, winking at me. Finally, I felt it. I felt everything. I felt the pain he caused me in the past. I felt the loneliness of leaving my life behind for him. I felt the guilt of abandoning my life. I felt the anger I should have felt minutes ago. I felt the sadness of the absence of the metal on my finger. I felt the sadness of losing the one man I could say I truly loved. I felt it all. In an instant, I was right in front of Sam's face, pounding my fists as hard as I could against his chest over and over again. Hot tears flooded my face as I screamed and continued to hit the stiff Winchester. He stood there, taking every blow. Not moving. Not speaking. "You ruined my life! You ruined my new chance! We aren't together! You ruined everything all over again!" I screamed at him over and over, my hits never falling flat. My best friend pulled me back, pulling me into a tight hug.

"You're just a pathetic little thing, aren't you?" My best friend chuckled, petting my hair. I quickly pulled away from her embrace, staring into unfamiliar, black eyes. I felt a cold shudder before I felt a hard object hit me in the back of the head. Falling to the ground, my head throbbed as I winced in pain. Looking up at my assailants, Sam and my best friend began to kiss one another. Wrapped in each other's cold embrace without a care in the world before looking down at me with terrifying smiles. I laid there, acceptingly allowing the darkness to seep in, taking away the pain as well as the light.

------------

I don't know how long I've been chained up here in what looks like a mossy basement. I used to rely on my three meals a day to indicate how many days have passed, but those meals have become scarce. I lost count at fifteen. If I were to guess, I'd say it's been a month - maybe even two. Maybe three. I don't know! I smell horrible, my clothes are heavy with dirt and sweat, my stomach is crying out for food, and my hair is matted. I haven't seen myself since that morning. That morning my life took it's biggest twist and turn yet. I always look back on that day before the chain of events took place. My best friend was prepping me up, not telling me what the big day was about. I feel sick thinking about her. Turns out, my best friend was long gone weeks before that. Ruby was just testing the waters with me and keeping Sam up to date. I always mentally kick myself for not noticing any differences. I feel my heart break at the thought of my parents. They probably think I abandonded them again, not bothering to look for me. Not bothering to notify anyone of my disappearance. I lick my lips at the memory of my breakfast plate that I left untouched. My mouth salivated at the memory of the smell of breakfast that morning. My biggest regret as of right now is that I didn't even take a nibble. I found myself scratching at my empty, weeping stomach. I'm starved.

I heard the basement door creak open then slam shut followed by light footsteps. Her. Ruby walked with extra pep in her step with a plate. Flaunting my dead best friend's flesh around as if it was hers to begin with. "Eat up." Ruby dropped the plate down at my feet, shattering the glass against the concrete floor. "Oops! I hope you don't cut your mouth." Ruby giggled, prancing back up the stairs. I could hear the latches lock in place. They made sure I could never escape. I crawled over to the broken plate of food, taking a deep breath. Two cold pieces of stale pizza. I shoved the slices down my throat. The pizza was cold and noticeably old. The crust had become hard as a rock, but I couldn't care less. It was my first meal in awhile. It tasted like a dream. I whined at the empty pieces of plate, desperately scattering them around in search of even a crumb. I resorted to sucking and biting my fingers after I failed to find any remainder of any crumbs. I could still taste the pizza on my fingers, closing my eyes in a desperate satisfaction eventually dozing off into a small food coma.

--------

"(Y/n), wake up."

My eyes fluttered open at the voice and I gasped, sitting up quickly. "(Y/n/n), you're with me now." The familiar voice cooed at me. His calloused hands, gently rubbed my thigh. I winced at his touch, not in pain, but in fear. "It's me. It's me, Dean." Dean smiled at me, cautiously pulling me into a gentle hug. My arms immediately wrapped around him, my face buried into his flannel shirt breathing in his familiar musky scent. I finally took a look around, I was out of the basement. I was in some cheap motel room, but at that moment I couldn't have been more overjoyed. I looked down as I noticed that I was in a clean change of clothes. They were still warm from what I assumed to be a dryer. I lifted my arms with the relief of not having heavy chains weighing them down, smelling myself I felt a smile that I hadn't felt in a long time creep across my face. I smelled like sweet strawberries. Waving my arms around freely brought tears to my eyes. I felt hot tears flow down my cheeks as I rejoiced in my freedom, smiling and laughing "I'm free!" "That depends, sweetheart." "Depends on what?" My smile dropped as I cautiously moved away from Dean. He smirked, his eyes flashing black "Depends on how good you can be for me."

Tag list: @vicmc624

[medea10]

My Review of Given

*this exists* Huh? Fuck Isekai shit! GIMME SOME BL LIKE YESTERDAY! Yes, I know what I said before but…it’s an anime with boys and music! Could this be the next Gravitation that many of us have waited for?

Ritsuka Uenoyama on the outside has always seemed listless when it comes to many things and can’t be bothered with most people or demands. One day, he was about to take a nap in a stairwell when he comes across another student by the name of Mafuyu Satou. At first glance he’s pretty aloof, but the second Mafuyu met Uenoyama he couldn’t stop hanging around him. After having quite the hard past, Mafuyu took to Uenoyama’s kindness (or whatever you call it) and took a fascination with him. He even managed to join the band Uenoyama was in. While Uenoyama had his reservations over this sudden change, he finds himself dealing with feelings he’s never felt before.

Is this love that he’s feeling? God, I hope so! BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: At the moment, no licensors have taken this anime and it’s only available through Crunchyroll. I swear Yuuma Uchida is having one hell of a year in the anime voice world. I know he’s been around for a couple of years and really hit it off with roles on Banana Fish and ReLIFE. But this year with his main roles on Kono Oto Tomare and the Fruits Basket reboot have really given him quite the boost. Give this boy a Seiyuu Award! Here’s what you might recognize these folks from. *Uenoyama is played by Yuuma Uchida (known for Kyo on Fruits Basket 2019, Eiji Ootori on UtaPri, Chika on Kono Oto Tomare, Ash on Banana Fish, Ooga on ReLIFE, and Shirazu on Tokyo Ghoul :re) *Mafuyu is played by Shougo Yano (known for Nanao on Tsurune) DISLIKED CHARACTER: In a yaoi-esque series, what is the one element I despise more than life itself? The cock-blocker! Actually, this is a trait I see in other genres of animes. Simply put, these are the characters who think they know one character better than anybody else and have this aura of jealousy because some new guy is in the picture. But when I see an annoying bitch hanging around a potentially cute ship and cock-blocking the cuteness, I lose my shit!

Fuck is this lady’s name? Kasai?! Whatever, cock-blocks like you need to go away! Though I will give her some leeway as she does apologize later in the series! It’s just that I found what she did to Uenoyama to be a bit of a “dick-move”. I’ll just be happy if I don’t see her in any upcoming projects this series has. SHIPPING: I knew I was expecting something to eventually happen with the Uenoyama x Satou ship. But I didn’t expect much from Haruki x Aki! Let’s get crackin’!

*Uenoyama x Mafuyu: From the beginning, I'm like, I want this to happen one day…but I know Mafuyu is still in pain after losing the love of his life. For the majority of this series, I see Mafuyu being aloof and depressed. The only exception is when he’s playing the guitar with Uenoyama (at least at the beginning). As we all know, Mafuyu has been in pain ever since losing his best friend and boyfriend, Yuki a year prior. As for Uenoyama, feelings started to develop once he spent a lot more time with Mafuyu. We even get a realization for Uenoyama when he learned about Mafuyu’s love, he got jealous. Aw, our boy loves Mafuyu! I’ll delve deeper into what happens after a certain point in the ending.

*Haruki x Aki: So I didn’t expect any kind of chemistry with these two outside of the band. But it turns out Haruki has had a crush on Aki since meeting him at college. Their friendship and becoming bandmates kind of came without any kind of super drama. And Haruki has been able to keep his feelings in check when he’s playing in the band with Aki. I mean, Haruki is pretty strict about dipping your pen in the company ink (if you get my meaning). It’s just that he does get blushy when he’s super close to him. Like when he’s being pinned down on the bed because Aki had a few too many beers and Haruki is just embarrassed. Unfortunately for this ship and for Haruki…Aki has a boyfriend!

I don’t like Aki’s boyfriend. No way, no way, I think he needs a new one! *sighs* …Yeah, I gotta talk about it…

*Mafuyu x Yuki: So Yuki’s reveal was building throughout the series that made the audience wonder if this was an unrequited love of Mafuyu’s, a sensei who can’t love him now, or someone who is no longer with us. But once you understood that Mafuyu and Yuki’s relationship dates back to when they were children and they have such a history, you can feel that pain Mafuyu carries with him everyday. Yuki would be there for him during tough times, including dealing with an abusive father, yeah, our boy had some issues. Yuki was a seemingly good friend and lover to Mafuyu. There was even a cute moment when Yuki takes him to the ocean, saying he wants Mafuyu to remember this moment. But what happened to Yuki? Unfortunately after the boys began high school and went to different schools, their relationship strained. And then one day Yuki was found dead due to alcohol poisoning (weird, I would have guessed suicide). Yes, Yuki’s death was freakin’ traumatic for Mafuyu. This was a big enough shock to the system to cause him to not be social and to carry around his dead lover’s guitar everywhere (even though he doesn’t know how to play it). And yes, in that song the group sang in the 9th episode, Mafuyu went the extra mile to express his feelings to his long-lost love. I would have to wonder a bunch of ‘what ifs’ with Yuki. Because poor Uenoyama is fighting against a dead guy. MAFUYU’S SONG: Just watch.

My boy Mafuyu here is giving me some super feels with this song!

EPISODE TITLES: Ever notice how all the episode titles are named after famous songs. Let’s just say I was thrown off when the episodes were named Creep (song by Radiohead), The Reason (song by Hoobastank), and Wonderwall (song by Oasis). God only knows what the name of the movie will be! I’ll laugh if it’s The Dope Show, Bittersweet Symphony, or I Alone. ENDING: So Haruki, Aki, and Uenoyama were given the opportunity to perform in front of an audience. Now the big question is if Mafuyu is up to the challenge of performing with the rest of the group. He only just recently joined the group and isn’t that great playing on the guitar. But the boys have hope with his vocals. He does have a good voice. It’s just that up until the night of the performance, Mafuyu hadn’t written down any lyrics. No question this boy has something to get off his chest, it’s just that Mafuyu was conflicted moments until they go on stage. It wasn’t until they were on stage where Mafuyu let out everything in their opening song. That heartbreak of losing the person you loved just shook the audience to its core and hit every single person there. Mafuyu’s friends were happy that he finally released all that pain he’s been holding in. Uenoyama’s classmates were inspired to hold onto the person they love tightly. And after the performance, we got our moment we fangirls have waited for since episode 1…

A MOTHER-FLIPPIN’ KISSUUU! Although this kiss (while passionate), was kind of forgotten on Uenoyama’s side as he forgot what he did and Mafuyu caught a fever shortly after the performance. I know Uenoyama has been wanting to do this because throughout the series, we kept seeing the boy conflicted over him liking Mafuyu. He even got jealous over a dead guy! We know he likes Mafuyu and we know that kiss after Mafuyu's performance was more than just a "Good job, mate" kiss. So will Uenoyama's feelings be returned? After Uenoyama came to terms over what he did and Mafuyu recovered from his fever, Mafuyu took Uenoyama to the ocean. I know this was a little symbolic for Mafuyu as Yuki brought him there when they were dating. And while there, Mafuyu told Uenoyama that he liked him. And Uenoyama noticed that...

IT’S MUTUAL! HIS LOVE IS MUTUAL! But then, Uenoyama remembers an ugly reality. Long before Mafuyu joined the band, the other guys were talking about a band breaking up over two of the bandmates getting involved with each other (romantically) and Uenoyama said some pretty…well, hypocritical things. That’s why many folks try to steer away from dating someone who’s a co-worker, a co-star, and in this case, bandmate. This is also a driving factor why Aki will never be the one to step up and tell Haruki he loves him. Haruki’s gotta be the one to leave that dickhead boyfriend of his. LEAVE HIM ALREADY! Regardless, Haruki and Aki are both happy for Uenoyama and Mafuyu’s new love. And now the boys feel refreshed in trying to come up with a second song, do a photo shoot, and even come up with a steady band name, “Given”. And so we get this cute end with a lingering hope that a season two will come and… Or a movie! Damn, that was fast, guys! Okay Crunchyroll, when this comes out, I want you guys to hop on it and get this movie in theaters. I don’t care if it’s in Seattle, just get it shown in WA. The ball is in your court now, don’t fuck this up! Also...

Uenoyama, please protect this boy's smile. I like this anime! I have such a weakness for animes involving characters in bands. And believe it or not, it was not because of Gravitation. For me, it was because of NANA. I fell in love with the songs and the characters and the simple story. Now of course this anime fell way too close to Gravitation’s orbit and that’s because of the yaoi aspect. My only gripe is that we really only got one memorable song (aside from the opening and ending theme). But it’s only the beginning the way I see it. I hope that Mafuyu is able to sing some more. And with a new movie on the horizon, I’m severely hoping for a soundtrack filled with awesome music. Seriously, I will laugh if the title of the movie really is, Given: Bittersweet Symphony. I give a recommendation to those who love musical animes or those of you into Shounen-Ai. I’m into both and I don’t judge. Currently, Crunchyroll has all 11 episodes available for streaming.

[httpjeon]

hot bot: test ― hoseok (m.)

hoseok/reader | android!au, hot bot!au | smut

wordcount: 3.1k

contents: dom!hoseok, panty stuffing, multiple orgasms, cum eating, squirting, praise kink, sir kink, degradation/name calling, cunnilingus, choking

― synopsis: as a product tester, you have one of the most sought after temporary positions in Hot Bot Inc.

note: this is a spinoff for hoseok who was mentioned in the main hot bot story. you do not need to read the main story to understand this!

blog masterlist ― hot bot: series masterlist

THERE WILL NOT BE A PART 2

© httpjeon 2019. do not repost or modify.

Early morning at Hot Bot Inc was like another world. Everyone was still groggy and were sat around slowly drinking coffee and answering emails for a days work ahead of them. You were the same, staring blankly at the computer screen, sorting through emails slowly.

You had gotten through a few answers when the pager on your desk buzzed, drawing your attention from the progress you weren't making.

"Employee Number #33214-8 please report to the Testing Department."

It was short and simply but it kicked you into gear, finally letting the haze of sleep escape your body. You stood up, turning the monitor of your computer off before grabbing your pager and your company badge.

The Testing Department was secured behind what felt like a dozen clearance doors which you would need to scan your badge to gain access to.

Every year or so, when the company came out with a new and improved line of Hot Bots, a select few workers would be picked as 'Product Testers'. It was a highly sought after position, as you can imagine.

The robots were state of the art and damn good at what they do. As mere office workers, your salary wasn't nearly as good as, say a programmer, so there was no way you could afford to buy one yourself even with employee discounts.

The shock you experienced when you got that email announcing you as a Product Tester was enough to make your entire year. Ever since then, you'd been waiting for your turn to be brought in to test.

"Hello, I'm ______, employee number #33214-8," You showed your card to the lady at the desk.

"You're ordered to room 3," She said simply, handing you another card that reminded you of a hotel key card.

You bowed in thanks before scurrying through the double doors and into a hallway that was beyond what you were expecting.

The floor, ceiling and walls were white. The fluorescent lights making the color nearly painful to look at.

You found the correct room and pressed the card to the scanner, a loud click signalling the door was now unlocked and accessible. You pushed your way in, the door locking once again behind you.

The room looked similar to a hotel room fit with a bed, night table and dresser. You weren't sure what the point was because they were just robots.

Maybe it's for the human's comfort. You mused, stepping more into the room.

As you took a seat on the bed, relishing in the comfort it brought to your back, the door unlocked once again.

It was quiet for a second and you held your breath.

Maybe someone tried to get into the wrong room?

Just as that thought passed, someone opened the door and let it lock behind them.

Silence for a moment.

"_____?" An unfamiliar voice caused you to stand up.

As you were about to reply, a man came from around the corner, a smile lighting up his face at the sight of you.

"Who are you?" You asked, raising a brow, only making him chuckle.

"I'm Hoseok," He held his hand out, making you squint in confusion, letting him shake your hand in greeting. At the confused look on your face, his smile fell. "You are the product tester, right?"

"That's right," You replied, folding you arms over your chest as you looked up at him.

He was good looking. His skin was flawless except for a little freckle on his top lip.

"Well, I'm tester...meet the product," He held his arms out and spun around.

"What?!" You screeched.

You had never actually met a Hot Bot so you weren't sure what you were expecting but you were positive that this person was a, well, person!

"P-Prove it!" You shouted, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

He was too lifelike. Hell, you could even see his chest rise and fall with breath. Robots don't need to breathe!

"Okay," Hoseok replied plainly, turning around and pulling down the collar of his white turtleneck to reveal an LED button located on the base of his nape. "Proof enough?"

"Y-Yeah..." You muttered, taking a seat on the bed once again.

Hoseok fixed his collar, straightening his turtleneck before turning to look at you again, flashing a brilliant smile once again.

"So...do you know how this works?" You asked, now feeling timid under his gaze.

"Oh right," Hoseok turned around to go over to the dresser, picking up a clipboard you hadn't noticed. "You have to fill this out,"

He took a seat on top of the dresser, probably to keep some distance between you until you're comfortable with him.

'But wait, robots wouldn't feel compassion. Stupid girl,' You scolded yourself.

The first page was information about Hoseok.

BTS900 Line Model.

Serial number CSQS56NH

177cm and 65 kg.

The next line had you choking on your own salive, making Hoseok cock his head to the side curiously.

Penis Length/Girth: 6.89in/5.787in

You quickly moved onto the information section about him.

"BDSM?" You said aloud, making Hoseok nod his head.

"Are you experienced in BDSM, ______?" The way he said your name had shivers traveling down your spine.

"Uh...not really," You replied bashfully.

“Well, I’ll take care of you,” He said, approaching you and taking the clipboard from you, dropping it on the bed beside you.

How the hell are you meant to put your life in the hands of this robot. BDSM was some serious shit, what if he chokes you and doesn’t realize he’s too rough and breaks your neck or something! The possible thoughts of dying by the hands of a sex robot caused you pulse to accelerate.

“Are you nervous?” He asked, voice now much softer than what it was.

He reached up and cupped your cheek, making you look up at him. You were shocked by the sincerity held in his eyes. “Your heart is racing,”

“I-I’m just not sure how this will work when you’re an…”

“Android?” He completely, smiling when you nodded. “You’ll have a safeword.”

“A safeword?” You repeated, still keeping your eyes locked with his.

He was smiling now, but nothing malicious behind it. He gently stroked his thumb over your cheek.

“A safeword is a word you’ll give me, that will be programmed in me, to make me stop if something will become to much. If anytime during the session, you become uncomfortable or something doesn’t feel right, you say the word and it’ll stop right there.” He explained, keeping his tone even and calm, which helped you to calm down as well.

“What if I can’t talk? Like if I’m...g-gagged or something?” You asked, stumbling over the work as it felt foreign in your mouth.

“I won’t cover your mouth, don't worry. If my owner wishes to be gagged, there will always be a safeguard in place to assure they can signal me to stop,” The way he answered was very mechanical, almost as if it had been rehearsed. Perhaps it was in his programming to say it?

“Okay,” You sighed, closing your eyes for a second to ease your running mind before opening them to look at him again. “Safeword will be Test.”

Hoseok grinned, letting out a little huff that sounded almost like a laugh before nodding. “Test it is,”

Then, it was as if a switch had been flipped in him and his eyes turned black, as if they were swimming with arousal. He stood in front of you, lithe fingers unbuttoning the button of his pants and undoing the zipper. Beneath, you could see he was bare, wisps of hair decorating he flesh surrounding his cock, which he carefully pulled out.

Part of you was shocked to see he was hard, but you reminded yourself that he was a robot built to be erect. He wrapped a fist around himself, slowly jerking himself off. The sight was pure sin and you couldn’t help but clench your thighs together to give some type of relief to the arousal.

“Are you turned on, baby?” He asked, shocking you with how low his voice became. You nodded, squeezing your thighs together again. “Why don’t you come over and suck my cock for me? If you’re a good girl, I’ll make sure you cum tonight.”

You had never been particularly submissive or dominant in bed, always having partners who only did vanilla. But he way Hoseok was talking to you lit a fire in you and you knew that you wouldn’t be able to go back to vanilla after this. You scooted forward, your pencil skirt almost uncomfortably tight as you kneeled on the bed before Hoseok. With one hand on the base of his cock, he laced the other hand through your hair and tugged your face closer to his cock. You could see a little bead of moisture develop at the tip and slide down his shaft to meet his hand, where the drop disappeared.

He gave you an expectant look and you didn’t need to think twice before enveloping the head of his cock in your mouth. He signed at the feeling, eyes fluttering closed as he allowed you to get accustomed to having him in your mouth. As you swirled your tongue around everything you could touch, he gripped your hair harder. He carefully drew you further down his member until the tip brushed the back of your throat and you gagged, pulling off of him to inhale.

“Never deepthroated?” He asked, fingers gently wiping the saliva off your chin.

“N-No…” You replied, embarrassment flooding through you. There was no reason to feel it, everyone has to start somewhere. However, underneath his kind gaze, you felt yourself calm.

“I’ll teach you then,” He gave you a moment to gather yourself, stroking his hand up and down his shaft to spread the moisture of your saliva.

“Okay…” You whispered, opening your mouth to take him inside again.

“Relax your throat,” He growls, waiting to feel you relax before slowly sinking deeper into your mouth. When he grazed the back of your throat, you fought down a gag and allowed him to sink to the hilt. Looking through tears, you saw his head tossed back as a moan tore from his lips. He held you like that for a second, feeling your throat spasm around him before he pulled out, a string of spit still connecting you and him.

“W-Will you cum?” You asked, wincing at how raw your voice already sounded.

“You want me to cum?” He cooed, still gently stroking your skin.

“Y-Yes please,” Your response made him smile.

“Such a good girl,”

Biting his lip, he began to feed his cock to you again, making you whimper as it grazed the back of your throat. You continued to relax, letting him use your mouth to get off.

His little pants of exertion soon became groans of pleasure. The hand in your hair tightened and you could feel his body trembling. The anatomy of these robots was truly astounding, you mused, before realizing it was a strange thought to have while he was balls deep in your throat.

Before your mind could get any more jumbled, you let out a final groan before he came. Your mouth filled with the creamy, warm liquid. However, instead of a bad normal-cum taste, your mouth was filled with a sweet, almost candy-like flavor. You let it linger on your tongue as he pulled his still-hard cock out of your mouth. He watched with a small smile as you licked your lips of the liquid.

“Cotton candy,” He said, making your eyes jerk up to meet him. “Yummy, huh?”

“V-Very,” At your response, he wiped a stray drop of cum from your chin, letting you suck it off his thumb with a grin.

“Slut,” Like any girl, you would usually bustle at the term but in this environment, you felt a shiver go down your spine.”Lay down for me,”

You scrambled to do as he said, laying your head on the pillows as Hoseok crawled on after you. His fingers, so slim and pretty, caught the zipper on your skirt.

With some shuffling, you managed to slide the article off. It landed somewhere in the room, but you didn’t care because Hoseok was on his stomach between your spread legs.

“Cute panties,” He commented, only adding to your embarrassment.

There was only time to blink before suddenly, he was sliding his tongue along the crotch of your panties, mixing both your juices and his saliva into the material. It didn’t take long before the material was soaked, sticking to you lips in an obscene manner. You clit was throbbing, crying out for direct stimulation, which he didn’t provide. Your hole fluttered pathetically around nothing and you realized you’d never wanted to be filled more in your life.

“H-Hoseok?” You whined, however, it was cut short when he suddenly gave a sharp smack to the wet crotch of your panties.

“That’s not my name, babygirl,” He growled, making your cunt clench once again.

“A-Sir, please!” You whimpered, the word just falling out of your lips before you could think twice.

“That’s a good girl,” He praised, once again licking up the fabric of your soaked panties. “What do you need?”

“C-Can you take them off?” You asked, your voice trembling. Hoseok appeared to think it over for a moment, mindlessly stroking your trembling thigh.

“Since you asked so sweetly, I can do that for you,” His nails slightly scratched your skin as he hooked his fingers into the material.

Once they were off, you felt extremely exposed.

This feeling multiplied when, with his thumbs, he spread your lips to expose your wet slit to his greedy gaze. A low growl escaped his lips as he slid his tongue through the wetness, moaning as it costed his tongue.

“So fucking sweet,” He purred, continuing the action while avoiding your clit until you were trembling.

You had never been this wet. You were dripping everywhere, and his saliva only added to it.

Eyes rolling back into your head, you arched your hips in hopes that he’d give some attention to your clit. Instead, you felt a pressure at your entrance; a strange material slowly being pushed into your spasming hole.

Looking down, you could have cum on the spot. Hoseok was slowly pushing your soaked panties into your pussy. The feeling was strange, the material grazing your walls. But, surprisingly, you were filled with pleasure. Once half the material was stuffed inside your cunt, Hoseok's mouth suddenly latched onto your clit.

Your orgasm blindsided you, your hips arching into his sinful mouth. With trembling thighs, you squeezed around his head. He didn’t seem to mind, simply providing soft licks to your sensitive clit as your orgasm faded. Once he was sure you came down, he carefully pulled the panties from your hole.

Then, there was a flurry of movement as you both stripped.

When you were both naked, he pinned you down, your hands above your head. His grip was strong, making sure there was no way you would escape.

“You remember the safeword?” You whispered the reply, making him smile before he began to fill you.

Your mouth fell open at the feeling.

You were panting by the time he bottomed out, your thighs trembling as you began to grind your hips into him. He growled, hands still holding you down as he began to fuck you earnestly.

“Little slut,” He snarled, watching how your eyes rolled back in your head. “Taking my cock so well,”

“Please, sir,” you cried arching your back as he brushed against your g-spot. “please, please, please, ple-“

Releasing one of your hands, he cut off your begging by wrapping a strong hand around your throat. The pressure cut off your air, making you unable to continue your cries. The idea of a robot having its hand around your neck should have frightened you but, you were too lost in the way his cock was abusing your cunt.

The lack of oxygen to your brain, coupled with the way his pelvis was grinding against your slick clit every time he sunk into you, had you reaching your end.

Feeling the way you clenched so delightfully tight around him, he knew you were going to cum. He released your throat, watching with a smirk as you gulped air in with a gasp before your finally came with a choked cry.

As your orgasm peaked, Hoseok pulled his cock out, using the firm head to slap against your quivering clit. Before you could even think that your orgasm was ending, you were skyrocketing again. This time, however, little droplets littered both yours and Hoseok’s skin. The bed sheets beneath you became soaked and stuck to your skin. Hoseok didn’t stop tormenting your clit until you had to reach down to stop him, your whole body trembling.

With a grin on his lips, he began to stroke his cock until his smile disappeared, being replaced by an open mouth. His head fell back as he came, a puddle of white forming on your skin as his cock drooled it out.

As he released his cock, you couldn’t help but to scoop out some of the warm cum onto your fingers. Hoseok watched with lidded eyes as you popped the fingers into your mouth, humming at the sweet taste. You continued to do this until your skin was completely free of his cum and you sunk back onto the bed. With your eyes closed, you didn’t notice Hoseok had vanished until you felt a soft material wiping down your skin.

“What’re you doing?” You mumbled, watching him as your fought back a yawn.

“Cleaning you up, silly,” He explained, making your brows furrow. You weren’t aware bots were able to perform aftercare.

Shrugging, you let your mind drift to how nice it felt to have him cleaning you and before you knew it, you drifted to sleep.

Walking back to your desk was difficult. After your nap, you woke with sore hips and wobbly legs. Walking through all the hallways, your mind was blank and you couldn’t wait to just get back to your desk and finish up work.

Clutching the clipboard from the testing room, you finally were able to sit with a sigh.

Flipping through the pages, you answered various questions; “How would you rate your experience with Hot Bot Hoseok?”, “Were there any bugs you’d like to address?”, “How was the behavior of the bot?”

After ensuring that everything was answered and legible, you turned to the last page where you were to sign your approval to put the bot on the market and as proof it had been tested.

As you signed your name, there was a voice in the back of your head telling you that something was a little...human about Hoseok.

[gaycrouton]

Just Like Old Times

xSo this is my entry to the @xfilesfanficexchange I just wanted to post it here too!

Dedicated to the always lovely DeeDee for the 2019 X-Files Episode Exchange!

MASSIVE thank you to my love @admiralty-xfd who beta'd for me through my procrastination and the amazing @suilven19 for being a boo and helping me aswell! You guys are the best!

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Mulder, what are you doing with my poster?"

For years she had stared at that poster. The blue sky, the trees, the spaceship, but most importantly, the words "I WANT TO BELIEVE" written at the bottom. The poster had changed more times than she could even remember, but they had all had the same impact on her - they instilled a little mantra in her head. Sometimes a silly pep talk when she felt like her fingers would fall off before she finished a case report, sometimes acting as a proverb of acceptance when Mulder pissed her off.

She wanted to believe, and as much as Mulder was considered the believer, she felt an intimate connection to those four words because they encompassed all she'd been doing for the past three years. She wanted to believe in the science she'd dedicated her life to, she wanted to believe in their work, she wanted to believe in him most of all. The last one seemed to take the most precedence for her; she noticed that several years into their partnership when her gaze mindlessly would flit from the white block letters to the man sitting a foot away.

She wanted to believe they'd work out.

Sometimes when she'd laid next to him in bed that fateful year when his depression had consumed him and she couldn't reach him anymore, she had thought back to that two by three foot poster, the newest incarnation a floor below her in his home office, completely covered up by clippings of his newest fixations: I want to believe he'll get better, I want to believe I'll see my Mulder again, I want to believe I can stay by his side, I want to believe leaving him will be the push he needs to get better, I want to believe it won't break him.

It hadn't. She'd seen him off and on again over the past four years they'd been separated, magnets couldn't help but be drawn together after all, and he slowly but surely had gotten better.

But up until a few weeks ago, she hadn't been to their - his, she kept doing that. She hadn't been to his house since she'd walked over the threshold and turned herself from a resident into a visitor.

Then, like the last four years hadn't happened, she was back, pleading with him to get out of his never ending cycle. "You want to believe. You so badly want to believe."

She'd gone through as many physical metamorphoses as the poster, and no matter what she looked like, her message still was branded across her heart, as it always was with Mulder. I want to believe. It was the sole reason she'd sat on that couch, the same one they'd spent countless hours on making lo- stop. She kept doing that, too. Thinking about things she most definitely shouldn't.

It was the same reason she was sitting and listening to him ramble like a madman, his audience consisting of herself, the person who sparked the fire, and the one prodding the ashes to keep it aflame. Yet both of the latter, along with Mulder, kept touching base with her to see if she was believing him, because -for some reason- her believing him seemed to act as a benediction against any traces of insanity lingering in his tone.

She was listening, she was, but her attention was partly caught by the familiar spaceship against the blue backdrop that was peeking behind his shoulder. He'd cleared it off. He'd moved it. Now that she was really looking - it wasn't as wrinkled as it was when she'd last seen it. So did he get a new one?

In that moment, as ridiculous as it was, she was hurt. Was the message on this poster as replaceable as the way he treated it? Every few years, a new poster; every few years a new theory he was dedicating his life to.

All while she sat there idly and tried her hardest to believe, year after year, theory after theory.

So she decided to put her foot down. And she did...but if there was one thing she would always believe, it was her science. And her science was telling her Mulder was right, her science was telling her that she needed to help him.

Maybe that's what their cycle of shared beliefs amounted to - not mindless searching and dutiful following, but a symbiotic partnership that was necessary to find the truth.

They both liked it that way.

It was probably her renewed sense of mission, her excitement at going back to their roots, that caused her stomach to flop when she walked into the basement office for the first time in fourteen years. Her key, which she'd never taken off her keyring along with the keys to their old apartments, still managed to unlock the door and the first thing she saw was the poster she'd spent so much time looking at torn in two on the ground. The ship was the part ripped away, as if it left when they did.

But they were here. They had work to do.

She picked up the two sections of the poster and laid them on the barren desk and ran her hands over the glossy finish. It was identical to the one at their - dammit. It was identical to the one at Mulder's house. She remembered when they'd moved to Farr's Corner back when they'd finally stopped running. She remembered they'd told only a few people where they were, only those who they had deemed safe and who they'd wanted to know. Maggie Scully, Skinner, Monica, and Doggett.

A few weeks after they'd finished unpacking the house and their few belongings, they'd got a tube of cardboard in the mail with the familiar poster and a note that had simply said:

I had a feeling you guys might want this. Welcome back.

Happy housewarming.

-JD

Acting with the same precision she used during surgery, she found a roll of tape in the desk and began aligning the Poster's edges so she could take them together.

To be honest she hadn't been expecting to see a poster in the office because of John's kindness, but now that she thought about it, she remembered snagging one after her trip to Maine, following Mulder's directions to a little headshop on M street she could smell from a mile away. But she ended up never sending it out instead, just letting it sit untouched in their impromptu storage room.

She taped one side and then the other, securing the pieces together to the best of her ability while Mulder strolled in. "Hey, where'd that come from?" he asked.

"This is mine," she smiled at him, holding up the poster and inspecting her work.

"I'm sorry, I ripped it," he apologized, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck.

"You ripped it?" she repeated curiously, moving to the spot it was destined to go.

"Yeah. I was down here a few weeks ago and I just felt like no one was listening to me and I was frustrated," he explained.

She nodded, regretful that she might have contributed to his feelings of isolation, and held the poster up to the wall. "It's okay. Just help me put it up," she smiled. He did as told, grabbing some thumbtacks from the drawer and walking over to her to put them in each corner.

When it was secured, they both took a step back and admired their work. "Order's been restored," Mulder beamed, and she knew he wasn't talking just about the poster. Deciding to simply nod in agreement, she sat in her chair and went to work, appreciative when he followed suit.

It was almost like once it was up, they were thrown back to the nineties, minus the dial up and the shoulder pads. They fell into a comfortable ease and she had to bite back a smile when he, almost out of muscle memory, threw a pencil at the wall like he always used to do. He immediately recognized what he'd done and turned to her with a look of absolute guilt. "Shit, Scully. I'm so sorry."

He expected a reprimand, but instead he got an eyeroll he probably hadn't seen in years along with an amused, "Some things never change."

She looked up at him and caught him smiling at her. "No, they really don't."

But some things were changing, and it was those subtle things that made all the difference. The last time she'd really spent with him, he'd rant and rave, going on and on about things that had no evidence, which was unlike the Mulder she used to know, the Mulder she used to spar and debate with. But now she was by his side and he was pointing to a screen he'd obscured from the janitorial staff at the company for Nugenics Technology. A brilliant move she was impressed with. He was excited about proving this to her and as her gaze flickered above the monitor to the image underneath the pencils, she realized she didn't have to want right now. She believed in him.

And now, for the ultimate test. From the desk of good ol' Walter Skinner, they had a case and it had a monster in it. She just hoped things would be different this time. No, she knew they'd be different this time. And it would all start with her being the one to introduce the case. To be honest, the idea thrilled her and she had to try and calm the skip in her step as she made her way to the office.

Opening the door she was met with the familiar sight of Mulder hurling a pencil at the poster, hitting it dead on. She looked at the white text and held onto the X-file in her hand. She wanted to believe this was going to be fun.

XXXXXXXXX

"Mulder, have you been taking your meds?"

It was something about the question that reminded him of a conversation they'd had two years ago.

He'd pressed 'call' on her contact information seventeen times today since he'd got out of his doctor's appointment. He'd hung up sixteen times, and on the third ring he was going to make it seventeen when he was interrupted.

"Mulder?" a hesitant voice called out from the receiver. He hadn't heard her voice in a few months and just the sound made his heart ache.

"Hey, Scully," he replied nervously, playing with the cap of an orange pill bottle, listening to the gentle 'pop' sound it made when it came off followed by the 'snap' when his thumb pressed it back down.

"What's wrong?" she asked. He felt guilty at how happy it made him that she still worried about him, almost as guilty as he felt that she had to, but not nearly as guilty as he felt that she assumed something had to be wrong for him to call. But he'd set the precedent on that one.

"N-nothing," he swallowed nervously.

"Then why-"

He interrupted her before the end of a sentence had a chance to hurt his feelings. "I have a therapist now. I-I've been going for the past month." He wished he could stop stuttering. He had her attention and he didn't want to ruin it.

There was a slight pause and he felt his stomach start to churn until he heard. "Really?" She sounded pleased with him. Surprised even.

"Yeah. I like him a lot. He's been really helpful." Tone it back, Mulder. He just figured that sounded better than the fact it took him a long time to really open up; paranoia's hard to shake.

"Did he prescribe anything?" she asked. He'd just opened his mouth to respond when she immediately followed with. "I-I'm sorry, that's none of my business."

I want it to be. "No, no. You're fine. You, uh, you sent me the referral anyway so, I really have you to thank." I wouldn't have gone if you hadn't left. The words were unspoken, but were implicit to both of them. "Yeah, um, they gave me Zoloft," he responded, reading the name off the label. Take once a day with food.

"For your depression and anxiety?" she asked, diagnoses she'd been aware of far before they came out of his therapist's mouth. He could hear her hair rustling against the phone and he knew she was nodding.

"Yeah, he said it could help with obsessive tendencies too," he informed her, knowing she'd want to hear that.

"How do you feel?" She'd taken a similar medication for depression about a decade ago. She'd recognized how she was feeling and proactively tried to better herself. She had always been smarter than him.

It also meant she understood it took some time getting used to. That's why it had actually taken so long for him to be able to call. For a while he'd try, his head would get too fuzzy, and he'd quit. He didn't want to call Scully until he was definitely better and he didn't want to call and then break his promise, because she had no reason to believe him. Scully, as always, needed evidence. But God, those first few months had been hard. "I hated it at first… I felt fuzzy a lot." He could hear the similar rustling that signaled her agreement. "But after a while I could tell it was working. I feel...better. Clearer," he told her honestly.

"I'm glad you stuck with it. I know how much you don't like medicine," she explained. Her referencing her deep knowledge of him brought a smile to his face.

"Me, too," he replied, closing his mouth when he realized his happiness was audible. There was a silent tension on the phone now that they had nothing to say. He had called to say he was getting help. He said it. She heard it. That was that. There would be no "want to come over" and that "how are you" would be met with brevity that turned into frustration when he inevitably pried too hard. He'd been met with a dial tone enough times over the past two years to know that was the likely outcome.

"I'm very happy for you, Mulder. I'm glad to hear you're doing good for yourself," she replied, and he wished more than anything that the slight implication that it didn't or shouldn't affect her wasn't there.

But now two more years had passed and they were together again. There was still a shyness, but they were both finding footing in this new terrain. If he had any questions about if they were moving forward, it was answered as she softly asked "Mulder, have you been taking your meds?"

She was teasing him, but she knew the underlying question was 'are you sure this is you renouncing your old ways or falling privy to them?'. They were having fun being together, but he understood that she felt like him having the X-files was akin to an alcoholic being in a bar. But he was better now.

His words were true, he did view the work in a new, wiser light. But he'd be lying if he said half the inspiration of his speech wasn't to let her know he recognized there was more to life than work.

"Mulder, I married you so I could spend the rest of my life with you because I love you! You promised me, you promised me you would let the darkness go. That you would try. I feel like I've lost you and I don't know how to get you back. Mulder, look at me!" She'd screamed at him, her voice cracking during the last sentence. Screamed. He couldn't remember if she'd ever done that before. He was trying to put together her words when he heard her grab her keys and slam the door. How long had she been trying to get his attention?

He didn't need another mothman, another walla walla blah blah blah; honestly looking at the files just reminded him of how naive he had been. How he had chased the lies while his truth had run beside him in his blindspot. But he had Scully now, and she was front and center to him. He could tell she was biting back a smile at his speech, and the sight was a blessed gift.

He pulled the pencils out of the tattered poster slowly, little marks of various introspections marring the blue sky like a map of all the times he'd hoped for answers. He'd always be curious about the unknown, it was in his blood, but he didn't want to lose her.

"We've been given another case, Mulder. It has a monster in it," she told him, a hint of excitement lacing her tone.

He tried to bite back his shared feelings and threw one singular pencil onto the poster.

Well...if it was given to them, who was he to say no?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Mulder!"

It was a sound that, unfortunately, was not all that unfamiliar to her ears after all these years. Mulder was screaming. While she'd been pleasantly enjoying the nostalgia of being on a monster hunting case with Mulder, this uncomfortable combination of dread, fear, and adrenaline was something she could definitely do without. Within a second of hearing it, she didn't care about the body in front of her. All she cared about was getting to Mulder.

As soon as she rounded the corner and saw him on the ground, his name ripped from her throat and she was rushing towards him. No, no, no, I just got you back. Images of the other man's gouged out neck flashed in her mind and she immediately bent down, calling his name again, as her hand touched his intact neck. Thank God.

His eyes opened this time, but her relief at that was mixed with worry as she saw blood. "No, I'm okay," he rasped, looking around dazed and confused.

"You've got blood on you," she told him, touching him as much as she could to assess his condition.

"I don't think it's mine," he replied, closing one eye experimentally.

She heard a rustling sound behind them and she pivoted so that she was covering him a little more like a mama bear defending her cub. But, luckily, it was just the animal control guy who seemed to be as hapless as he was harmless.

Not seeing a threat in the unlucky man, she turned back to Mulder and did another check over on him, making sure he was truly okay.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"If you squint it looks like...something"

Did he realize he was forgetting what personal space meant? Of course not. If his shoving evidence in front of her face wasn't clue enough he was in his enthusiastic-Mulder routine, the fact he seemed to disregard how close he was getting to her was evidence enough. He always had a knack for standing as humanly close as he could get away with. In the beginning it had flustered her, then it had frustrated her, then it had turned her on - it was a dart board for which it would make her feel like. Ultimately, she loved it and she missed it, but she couldn't let him know that.

Even though she was circling around the dead body like they were dancing, she felt her body reacting to the familiarity of it all. Even his aftershave made her insides melt. Correction, she remembers how it used to make her insides melt, emphasis on used. But she thinks what was affecting her most of all was his excitement.

She had to try and reign in how much she loved this though. They weren't together and she couldn't tease him by letting him think they were closer than she thought either of them were ready for. But it was hard; it wasn't like she could revert back to this moment or that moment of their partnership and just go on. Every moment they'd spent together had led up to their intimate partnership. It was hard being on new ground and trying to understand how to navigate the foreign terrain.

Especially when they were bantering like this.

Oh, how she'd missed this.

His eagerness, his theories being refuted by her science. This was what she'd wanted all those years ago when he couldn't stop spiraling downwards. Just as much as she could tell he was having fun, she knew he could see the same in her.

"You're really enjoying yourself, aren't you, Scully?"

I'm enjoying you, Mulder.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sleeping Beauty

It was amazing how merely the sight of Scully immediately calmed him. Of course, he still didn't like the implications of this situation - that someone had been using this intricate peeping tom labyrinth to violate their, specifically her, privacy. And it especially didn't bode well with him that someone else had got to see Scully like this when it'd been four years since he'd had the opportunity, not counting all the dreams and late-night longings.

He'd always loved watching her sleep. It was one of his favorite pastimes, even before they'd gotten together. After, it just became a more frequent luxury.

"Do you always watch me sleep?" she'd asked a few weeks after they started having sex regularly.

"Always," he reassured, drinking in the sight of her bare body illuminated by the morning sun. Even the dust motes were dancing in praise above her nudity.

"Has anyone ever told you how proper you sleep?" he asked, raising a hand to trail his fingers idly over the curvatures of her arm muscles.

"Proper?" she repeated, laughing as her voice cracked from hours of not being used.

"Yeah, you sleep like this," he explained, before rolling on his back and clasping his hands together gently, trying to imitate the look of angelic peace that she wore so effortlessly.

His imitation broke as he smiled at the full throated laugh that escaped her lips. "I do not!"

He laughed with her and rolled over so that his body was on top of hers, looking down at her beaming face. "Yes you do, Madame Scully. You sleep like an angel and I love it." She hadn't had a chance to answer as his lips covered hers and he continued to show her just how much he loved it.

Years later and here she was… laying on her back while clasping her wrists in her lap and tucking her legs.

And here he was… unable to conceal his smile or adoration.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The shirt

He'd been so distracted by seeing her sleep that he hadn't noticed what she was wearing.

He'd always wondered where he'd put that shirt.

He knocked on the door, ready to tell her what he'd seen, but his breath was momentarily taken away when she opened the door to reveal a messy haired, sleepy Scully wearing his shirt.

"How do I look?" she'd asked, twirling around like she was in a fashion show, the hem of his Knicks jersey temporarily shifting up enough to reveal her creamy upper thighs.

She'd worn his clothes temporarily, usually to have something to keep her warm when she'd shuffled to the kitchen in the night to get them a post-sex snack. But now they'd just gotten home - or, they'd just gotten to her apartment. The pizza was on the way and she was wearing this just because she wanted to.

He pulled her to him and kissed her deeply, breaking it only to murmur, "I never thought anything was sexier than you in scrubs, but I think I have a new favorite."

Soon enough, the matching silk pyjama sets were replaced with his shirts. Sometimes she would put on whatever he'd just taken off, with only the explanation of, "They smell like you. It feels like I'm wrapped in your embrace. It's comforting."

He used to think it was cute, but unnecessary since he'd always be there in the flesh, ready to embrace at any given moment. But now knowing that she was possibly, at least at this moment, wearing his shirt after the separation made his heart skip a beat at the implications.

"It's comforting."

His gaze must've lingered too long because she looked down and realized what had captured his attention. "Wh-what do you need?" she asked shyly, crossing her hands in front of her chest as if to hide the subtle intimacy she'd accidentally revealed to him.

All it did was emphasize to him the fact she was braless under his shirt, but he didn't want to make her uncomfortable so he instead focused on the task at hand. "The motel manager saw our monster, Scully."

Our monster. His, hers, theirs, even now it all blended together.

Her eyebrows shot up as did the corners of her lips while she stepped aside and opened the door wider, beckoning him in.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"This is how I like my Mulder."

The words escaped her lips and she couldn't hide her smile.

This was the Mulder she'd spent years missing. He was excited, and despite the obscurity of his claims right now, he was backing them up, and he was confident.

She saw his eyes widen at the word 'my' preceding his name, but he still was trying to play it cool. God, he really was trying to be on his best behaviour for her. She saw the hunger and intrigue in his eyes when he came in and noticed she was wearing his shirt. Part of her was embarrassed that he now knew she still did it, especially since he knew she did it in an attempt to feel closer to him, but the other part liked the fact he knew.

But not as much as she liked seeing him prance around her, prattling on about his confidence that it was no longer a creature, oh no, but a monster. Just how he liked his cryptids.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"That...did not happen."

This man...was not sane.

"And then this beautiful woman with red hair strutted in."

He knew he was referring to Scully immediately, but he seemed to have an...alternative...telling of the events.

"I greeted her, thinking she wanted to buy a phone, but she was in the market for something else if ya know what I mean," Guy smirked, imitating charm he'd undoubtedly seen on TV, but not quite having the bravado to pull it off himself.

Mulder knew his confusion registered on his face, not quite understanding what he meant, so Guy elaborated. "She wanted to procreate, like they do in the porn" Guy explained with a proud smirk.

There was too much wrong with that sentence for Mulder to be able to hold in his bewilderment. "I'm not following."

Guy nodded his head as if he expected that answer, as if he could sense the lack of sex appeal in Mulder that he himself apparently reveled in. He shrugged and leaned against the tombstone temporarily. "I guess she could smell my pheromones from outside the store; I could smell hers as soon as she came in." Mulder internally cringed at the man's oddly textbookish recitation of human interaction, but encouraged him to go on nonetheless.

"She said she thought her phone was broken because guys weren't sending her pictures of their junk on it. Now, I'd heard how annoying junk mail is, but this woman seemed to really want it. So I told her she could cancel her pop-up blocker, whatever that is, but she told me to follow her and I learned she was talking about a different type of 'junk'," at his last words he pointed to his crotch with a smile, attempting to enlighten Mulder about this strange woman's unusual vocabulary.

Out of every single thing Guy had told him in the past ten minutes, this was the most unbelievable. "What?" he deadpanned, not even trying to hide his skepticism.

"We went into the storage room and started mating. She was like a wild woman. It was like we were animals going at it as she moaned and groaned. And she just kept whimpering, 'Don't stop! Don't stop! Don't-"

As he explained this, he crudely reenacted this fantasy by thrusting his hips into an imaginary Scully. Mulder gritted his teeth in unbridled irritation. Scully had always teased him for being possessive, and apparently it hadn't faded. "Stop," he commanded, halting the man's motions before adding, "That… did not happen."

"He said I did what?" Scully exclaimed, gawking at him.

Mulder laughed and put up his hands in surrender. "I'm just telling you what he told me."

She pouted a little and looked at her lap, her fingers twiddling nervously. He was shocked at her change in demeanour, but even more surprised at her dejected words, "He said he wouldn't tell anyone…"

For a flash second his stomach pitted out before he realized the improbability of her statement and caught the way she was biting back a smile. He nudged her lightly and laughed, "Liar."

She pursed her lips into a line, amusement dancing in her eyes as she looked at him in mock earnesty. "No, I'm not," she balked, pausing to swallow a laugh. "As soon as he shucked off that maroon vest and screamed 'I quit' I felt my loins quiver."

"Your loins," he repeated with a laugh.

"Oh definitely, and when he ran around the room like the Tasmanian Devil, destroying everything in his wake, I just couldn't help myself," she nodded.

"You had to drag him to the back room and take a picture of his junk?" he teased, enjoying this flirty banter he'd been missing so badly - enjoying being able to talk about sex in front of Scully in any capacity.

"What can I say? I needed it," she joked.

"Mulder, I need it," she whispered into his mouth as she pinned him up against the alley wall. He looked down and noticed it was a dead end and turned to her with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

"You said this was a shortcut," he huskily replied, helping her hike the hem of her dress up over her hips.

"I lied," she purred as she unzipped him and pulled his already hard cock out of his pants, stroking him eagerly while he slid a finger under the fabric of her thong.

"When you need it you need it," he murmured, thinking back fondly at the memory.

Her ears reddened as she realized he was referencing her penchant for impromptu sex in unconventional places. Then, much to his happiness, instead of reprimanding him for being inappropriate, she rolled her eyes and slapped his arm with a smile.

"Shut up, Mulder."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Hey, buddy. You wanna come home with me?"

She'd meant it when she was on the phone. She missed having a dog to love - though she recognized that longing would be satisfied more by a six foot puppy-eyed man she knew than an actual dog, but anything to come home to now would be nice.

To say she'd been surprised when he'd ultimately left her, after she solved the case no less, in favor of looking into his horny lizard man, would be a lie. She couldn't be mad though, he was finally getting life back into him, he was healthy, he seemed happy, and at the end of the day that's all she could ask for.

But…

She looked around and didn't see any other staff lingering around the shelter. Surely this little guy would have a better home with her…

Maybe in the future she'd have someone else to come home to, but everything has to start somewhere.

"Let's go cutie," she whispered, letting her fingers tickle his brown hair.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mulder and Scully Meet Daggoo

"Scully," he stated slowly.

"Yes, Mulder," she replied with mock innocence.

"What is that?" he asked, pointing to the ball of fur sitting on her bed.

"Um...my new dog," she explained.

"Since when did you get a dog?" he questioned.

"Since you abandoned me at the dog pound."

I leave and I'm replaced by a dog. Okay.

"So what was it you were going to tell me? How did it end up going with your lizard-man?" she asked sweetly.

Not used to her uncharacteristic enthusiasm, he decided to put off any more questions about the dog for later and fill her in. He sat on a chair facing the bed, ignoring the dog sniffing every inch of his leg, as Scully gave him her rapt attention. At first he thought she was just curious, but then it just became a little too interested to be normal - she wasn't even giving him her usual eye rolls or critical comments. When she finally did speak up, it was at a part he thought was irrelevant. "But when he got back, Daggoo was gone. The maid-"

"Daggoo?" she repeated, ignoring the dog's now incessant attention and barking.

"Yeah, that's what he named the dog, Daggoo," he said, the dog barking like an exclamation point on the sentence. "Why?"

"Daggoo's the name of a harpooner in Moby Dick!" She smiled at him, petting the dog on the head.

"Yeah, he said Daggoo-hey! Is he okay?" Mulder asked, pointing to the dog who was jumping at his legs.

"I think so, he hasn't really acted this way before," she replied, scooting off the bed.

"What's he-," Mulder stopped, realizing something.

Scully sent him a questioning look as she leaned next to the dog. "What?"

Without a word, he got up and crossed to the other side of the room. When he was as far away as possible, he looked at the dog licking Scully. "Daggoo," he declared sternly.

Without Further prompting, the dog ran to him and sat at his feet, looking up at him before barking once. A smile spread across his face as he looked over at a surprised Scully. "I think you found Guy's dog."

A look of sadness flitted across her face and she stood up, "Does that mean I have to give him back?"

Happy that he had news that would make her smile, he quickly assured her, "No, no, long story short, Guy went into hibernation in the woods. He won't be back for a long time."

"Oh," Scully laughed, "Um, well. Good."

He watched as she bent down and picked up the little mutt, barely big enough to really count as a dog in Mulder's opinion. "Do you have stuff to take care of a dog?" he asked.

Suddenly, an expression of nervousness took over her face. "Well...actually. I wanted to ask you a favor..."

In that moment, her previous indulgence of him made absolute sense. She was trying to butter him up. "I don't know, Scully," he began, his resolve weakening when he saw her lip pout.

"Please Mulder! I called my apartment when I got here and they said no, but I'd already fallen in love with him. We can't let him lose two owners in one week, that's cruel."

"I don't have any stuff to keep the dog at the house," he explained.

"I'd get it!" she offered immediately. "And I promise I'll come over everyday and take care of him and walk him and clean up after him," she was rambling like a child who had brought home a stray and it made him smile - usually it was him who had do do all the convincing. He let her go on a little, not letting onto the fact he'd already agreed when she said she'd come over everyday.

"If you do all that, then yes. I'll take him," he replied.

"Thank you, Mulder," she beamed.

Anything to get her home.

[advernia]

around june of last year, i decided to revive my writing blog as one of the many potential stress-relief methods i could think of.... i didn’t think i’d be able to keep it active for long since work + family duties keep me preoccupied most of the time, but eyyy!!! so far i haven’t lost the motivation to keep going back to this blog, and i even managed to keep it afloat for half a year!!! amazing!!! (•̀o•́)ง

and now here we are halfway through 2020!!! it’s waaaay overdue but here’s a big T H A N K  Y O U  V E R Y  M U C H ! ! ! to everyone and anyone who dropped by this blog last year + all them likes, comments, reblogs...... please know that i’m still i n c r e d i b l y grateful for the support & interest in the content i’ve posted up!!!! tbh my activity’s still hella sporadic so it’s really amazing for me that i even gained new followers.... i’m very honored to have all of you stick around my blog despite my irregularity!!!!!!!! (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)

it’s also overdue, but i slowly managed and finally cleaned up the blog like i’ve been meaning to do + changed the blog name to match my ao3 handle for consistency!!! i make no promises to be super active... but i’m sure that i still want to continue writing & keep this blog alive!!!! 

again, thank you all for your time + reading my works!!!!!!  ∩( ´∀` )∩ work commentary on the rest of my works last year follows under the cut!

oct 1 // hero’s journey

a drabble on blanc + oliver about the alices... now that i think of it, calling the first alice first alice is kinda funny considering that alice is really her name... or is it? 

i do hope blanc’s route talks about her a bit, haha! i mean, i wish cybird remembers that they’ve been dropping the occasional background tidbits about her... like for example, her pocketwatch (that she gave to blanc eventually) having a magic crystal engraved into it.... her potentially leaving a fucking globe in the black army’s possession (like... wow... u fell with that thing????????)....

plus, i just find it interesting that she was remembered by cradle as a heck of a troublemaker lol! it also makes you wonder who among the main cast met her, blanc aside... though it’s not stated when exactly she fell into cradle, so maybe only blanc had the opportunity of meeting her...

so does blanc speak of her fondly bc she’s a woman, or is there something else??? has he been frequently visiting the land of reason pre-game??? has he found the first alice’s antique shop / met her again??? does he still try to figure out the reason why there’s a magic crystal engraved into the first alice’s pocketwatch????? hmmmmm......

on another note, it would be hilarious if cybird pulls a peter pan 2......... since we can’t pull off a mother-daughter relationship like wendy & jane’s, what if alice the second is somehow actually related to the first alice?? and while she’s completely different from her predecessor, blanc finds himself falling for alice the second........ just like he fell for the first alice? drama!

that’s just a random thought but kidding aside, i do hope blanc’s route is hella interesting bc i think he’s our mr. exposition for knowing more about cradle itself lol

oct 1 // fair (?) ladies & phony (?) enchanters

a result of going manic a few days after seeing harr’s trailer + route release.... ahaHAHA I’M STILL WILLING TO PLAY UR ROUTE IN JP HARR (if i actually had time to sit down and translate gET REKT)

i liked writing these drabbles and i think they’re cute but tbh they did nothing to ease my curiosity about harr’s route.... if anything else, it became even w o r s e  haha........................

if i think of blanc to have a cradle-centric route, i do hope harr’s route is magic tower-centric! naturally it will be since he’s got history there, but i hope a lot of my questions about the magic tower will be answered.....

will harr’s perspective of the magic tower be in the eyes of a test subject or a disciple???? he was scouted by the magic tower, but it wasn’t stated what he was doing exactly..... going by hints + loki’s & zero’s routes, it’s more of him being a disciple, so there’s bound to be guilt.......

hopefully alice’s characterization in his route is good + we get a fun group dynamic with loki!!! their potential.... the most(?) notorious criminal of cradle, a sought after test subject, and that one girl who nullifies all magic; a renegade trio lurking around the forbidden forest.... what an odd bunch!

oct 4 // god is a five minute hymn

a religious themed fic with lancelot & alice - tbh i don’t even know why religion was the first thing that came into mind when liz and i were talking about cultural differences, lol.

on that note though! i personally like thinking that if ever cradle had a semblance of a religion, it would be polytheistic & nature-centric, and not strictly practiced - the stratocracy of both territories i’d like to think makes it harder for religion to have a voice, much less have one that is practiced by the general population. the only thing general about it is that the religion centers or has magic crystals as an important factor... or something. yeah.

that aside, i think i specifically chose lancelot in this piece for the sole reason that his canonically stated lack of common sense, in my opinion, gives him the curiosity of a child sometimes - there’s no sense of malice or doubt, just the pure innocence of wanting to know something....... religion does that to kids, especially when introduced to it at first.

rereading the fic makes me think of the instances where when faced with dire or unsettling situations, people turn to faith as a life line.... well, i’m not sure if i had that subconsciously in mind when writing alice, but that does give a spin to it....

oct 6 // flow like the river nile

a spontaneous red army-centric fic! it certainly turned out better than i expected... i liked the formatting i used for this one!

if cybird can give us more about the pre-game suitors it would be great, tbh! and while the stuff about them in school is interesting, i’d like to see more about when they assumed their positions + combat scenes! the neutrals are special cases, but knowing more about their living conditions + daily lives is also a treat...

i was thinking of adding one last snippet about lancelot in the eyes of the reds, but i scrapped it out and switched it to alice & lancelot’s conversation about duty - it could’ve worked better if i stuck to using the what is your duty? question, but i scrapped it eventually too. ah well. it does look good enough as it is. 

oct 7 // seeking out phantoms

a mandatory(???) odd one out aka content that’s not ikerev, haha! i missed fe:a all of a sudden...

i never got around to writing properly for this fandom tho, what a shame - i’ve got some bits of pieces in my drafts that looked interesting and easy enough to pick up, and this was one of them.

robin investigating more of their plegian heritage could’ve been a good subplot tbh... i still wish there was something like a paralogue or dlc about it, bc honestly the valm arc goes a bit slow until you get to the future past revelations. ah well.

and gaius bc first husband for the win.... not like i actually had the guts to marry anyone else in my other save files lololol

nov 7 // push me off a bridge (to catch me as i fall)

my longest project of 2019, holy shit! i didn’t know i still had it in me to write something past 10k... i need more of that motivation + energy....

there’s nothing much to say about this since i blabbed about everything in the post-reading notes, but as much as i fought myself to get this done, i really enjoyed writing a long fic again! hopefully i can get myself to write another one this year...

nov 18 // beloved, beloved, let me be clear

18 sentences on zero & alice + macross frontier references! man, when i really got to the point about the earrings i was thinking of sheryl a lot....

kept it in sentences cause i didn’t have enough time to put up a decent ficlet! but i really wanted to get my screaming out of my system....... i used to do sentences + three word sentences challenges before, and doing one again was pretty fun!

but really.... zero’s route kept me happy for days???? their buildup + dynamic was something i was totally w e a k for, no joke..... thank gods the collection event was going on, bc i really made good use of my stocked chapter tickets lolol!

i was especially excited come the ball scene, and that cg..... a h a h a.... i need more of those pretty cgs where i can see alice’s face + costume change....... 

nov 20 // coloring inside the lines

jonah + alice + makeup!!!! tbh this was really fun, i enjoyed writing this one - if i remember, this was a fic that i managed to continuously work on the day i thought it up!

jonah may not be my best boy but tbh i find writing him very easy - i guess it’s because i’m very fond of characters like him!!! those uptight nobles who are as prideful as hell but can definitely live up to their name + are more capable than their bragging suggests... idk if there’s a general trope name for these doods, but i especially like analyzing their motivations + convictions!!!

i liked how i ended it, but i apparently i made an actual ending that’s now a snippet in my drafts - jonah & alice head to the ball, and somewhere along some bystanders’ flow of conversation someone drops a comment about jonah’s lips looking... quite more luscious than usual, lolol. so t h i r s t y. upon hearing this, alice can’t seem to stop smiling for some reason..... 

nov 27 // blue fields, verdant skies

a practice drabble set centric on a ray/alice development that i liked so much i made it into a series - plus, it’s black army content and honestly i need to write more of them! my red army bias is showing whoooooops

it’s a feudal + arranged marriage au, with the latter... being quite spontaneous. it’s those types of marriages where neither have even met - not even once - only to face each other come the wedding... so it’s a given that audiences from both parties are rather curious how this will turn out.

since i had the theme of fate in mind, ray was the automatic pick for the male lead. the rest of the black army is a given and for kicks, i added dean and dalim! i actually want to write about them + mousse, but since i’m still unsure on their characterizations i’ve been holding them off.... but i gave in anyway.....

alice is again named for word count convenience purposes since it’s in actual 100 words aka drabble form! i have planned scenes + an ending already in mind, but going there is pretty hard bc.... i still have to write the scenes in between + resist temptation to expand further on other scenes, haha....

initially i was planning to keep it updated here as well, but any more updates of this are on ao3 instead! the formatting looks better there instead of my blog tbh, and it also gives it a sort of muted tone to the story that works with me!

this is also the 31st fic in this blog, marking an end of the challenge liz bestowed to me lolol - since i brought this blog back to life around june, i was dared that by the end of the year, i should’ve posted more than 15 fics to add up to the initial 15 i had already posted before, thus the numbers on my fics back then.... now that i actually succeeded, i can stop counting lololol!!!! tho hopefully i can still be pretty active this year....

dec 22 // duck, duck, bullet

oliver & fenrir on guns... this probably wins as the most spontaneous idea i had on my head - tbh, i wasn’t even sure where i was going with it at first! but i’m sure i was suddenly thinking about that one detective conan movie.... then it became kid!oliver with a gun.....

i wonder if he tests the bullets at night, when he’s in adult form.... then again, kid!oliver with a gun still works.... say that because he’s a genius inventor, he made some models to serve as his shooting targets.... but another thought that amuses me more is.... blanc does the bullet testing for him!?

lololol i already thought about blanc being oliver’s live target, but i also find blanc with a gun very interesting.......... i mean, blanc certainly doesn’t look like he can fight, but who knows??? i mean, mousse is the former ace of hearts, but i still can’t imagine him fighting..... appearances can be deceiving....

the two aside, i wonder how fenrir even met oliver and got him working on his bullets........ was it through blanc or other connections???? how long have they been seller and buyer???? does anyone else commission anything from oliver?????? hmmmm.....

dec 23 // terms of surrender

i’ve been told by liz + luci + other friends that i needed to practice writing more.... cheesy fluff. i’m not sure if this sirius/alice piece counts, lol. in fact, i think it’s my definition of fluff i see here - and it translates to not exactly fluffy at all!

tho if you want me to be honest about it - when i write suitor/alice stuff, how alice was characterized in the suitor’s route is still my basis for how i’ll write her, and sirius’ alice................ haha......... i think she’s the alice that’s honestly easy to write but i choose to avoid.......... 

i don’t dislike the sirius/alice dynamic per se, tho. i do find it cute, especially if cybird stops emphasizing the issue of maturity in the relationship on alice’s side. i understand - i really do - that it’s a potential issue in the relationship, but...... that’s not the only problem you can possibly have as time passes, right?????

on another note, it’s funny that only sirius gets to be harped about the maturity due to age difference issue - setting aside blanc, who heavens know how old he is, lancelot’s 29 and since alice is presumed to be around ray + fenrir’s age, you could say that she’s 24 or even 23 to be safe.... so that makes a 5 / 6 years difference but it’s never brought up, lol. but i guess it’s because unlike lancelot, the black army’s been making sirius’ age a running gag....

anyway, this piece is pretty decent! i was thinking of something along the lines of mornings between a “married couple”.... there were two scenarios i had in mind, and i opted to write this one out first.... maybe i’ll have the second one posted up here another day.

dec 28 // a chain of black thrones

pre-game!sirius & ray and bc i was thinking a lot about the previous chosen, the former jack of spades!!! i wonder if the armies have a set age for retirement lolol... it would be awesome if there was still a chosen who’s already past his 50s or something, haha!

since sirius was constantly badgered to take on the role of king, i was also wondering about how long the black army was ‘king-less’... i mean, if the tension between both armies was really as great as they say, having no king puts the black army at a precarious position... i also thought that ‘nah, maybe there was a king or something but maybe the black army didn’t like him or something so they insisted that sirius take it instead’ but sirius’ 1st anniv. epilogue says otherwise - there really was a period that the black army had no king, wow. how the heck did they deal with that???? surely the red army saw this as a display of vulnerability....

can the black army’s chosen choose to leave their posts when they feel like it??? when they’re defeated by a challenger, what happens to them - a demotion, or do they serve under the ‘new’ chosen??? does the black army’s chosen change constantly because of their meritocracy + challenger system??? like, how do they deal with that, and do they announce their changes in chosen each council meeting??? each new question just snowballed my curiosity, whoops...

there were so many angles i thought of but i decided to settle for addressing the king-less state of the black army... through the eyes of a veteran who’s probably served many kings throughout his time of service as part of the black army’s chosen.

i gave this jack of spades character a name, actually - garret folner. maybe someday i’ll write him again, bc i actually enjoyed thinking about the present + past chosen interactions - maybe i’d think about that for the red army, but this time i find the black army’s side more interesting for this situation.

dec 29 // steadfast tin soldier

a zero/alice piece for zeroweek - i was about to post pt. 1 as a standalone, but then i just thought about how.... zero bought alice a gown.... but never got to dance with her at the day of the ball..... so i rushed to add pt. 2 haha!

with the addition of pt. 2 it looks cut short tho - i did think of putting a scene in between, but no good ideas came into mind bc i was too fascinated with the dancing scene... i swear at some point i will find myself writing a fic or a part of a fic that’s a dance scene for the rest of the ikerev suitors + alice....

this is the kind of fluff i live for, actually... i’m totally fine with the steamy content cybird throws during events + bonus stories, but if i were to be honest i say.... where’s my non-sexual intimacy????? the simple, wholesome stuff?????????????????

man, i feel hilarious for typing that out..... but well, i guess it’s a matter of different strokes for different folks, lol!