#he's dreaming/astral projecting to a place that exists between time and space

[pixelsinmyveins]

♪

[flesh-heart]

CHNT THEORY MASTER POST + EVIDENCE

> only evidence from within the text itself, no patreon spoilers

!! IN HONOUR OF SEASON TWO BEING ANNOUNCED HERE IS A BREAK DOWN OF EVIDENCE AND UNKNOWNS ACROSS SEASON ONE !!

0. background info

1. sydneys death

2. lucille and fire

3. jedidiahs project

to be added to ..?

0. BACKGROUND

- CHNT files exist as evidence for a celestial trial from the agents

- THE LIMN is where camp exists, seemingly a bubble formed around sydney where time and space are distorted.

* the limn impacts memories

- per agent knowledge, camp takes place at site 2 (ranked in most relation to the resurrection/the Limn) and the characters are ranked as entities most thought to be in relation to the limn

- episode 1 takes place approximately 2 and just over a half years after the resurrection (952 days)

- Anomalies are pockets of unreality within the existence of “earth”, seemingly ranked in correlation of proximity to camp (anomaly1 being the bonfire… etc)

- there are two KNOWN types of magic discussed (cthonic and celestial) (cthonic being necromancy, occult and metaphysical, celestial being ‘heavenly’, time and space)

- NOTE: Elijah has cthonic abilities

- Jedidiah APPEARS to have celestial

relations- likely clock of meantime related.

- Matthew is unknown to be an anomaly, human, or aptitude of some kind

- agents exist on a train (implied in file, semi confirmed), which navigates through space and time. agents appear to be celestial guardians responsible for keeping order and preventing universe death

- “in-between” announcement song is heavily train themed,

- the agents are connected to the sanatorium, thought to receive the cassette tapes through this method

- Tony 1 & Tony 2 are the only canon agents we know of currently (agents 15+16)

- Agents appear not to be overly affected by the magic system (not affected in FILE16 + FILE32)

- sun, moon and sky (known celestial bodies) ARE impacted by magic

- AGENT23 Names the files, Agent1 appears to be overseeing the nature of the “trial”. Agents appear to be numbered in correlation to the trial

1. schrödinger’s Sydney

Of Note:

Sydney struggled with hallucinations which went away seemingly after his resurrection (FILE 3) Sydney also lost the ability to astral project post res. his soul is tied down to his body

Sydney has a natural interest in the cthonic, participating in magic and rituals pre-resurrection (FILE 28, FILE 33)

particular emphasis on the fact sydney is safe in camp, he can’t be hurt in camp. leaving camp grounds results in hypoxia (FILE 6)

Sydney mentions his death, seemingly unknowingly, very frequently. Examples include; file 1–> “Most Likely To Get Killed As Consequence Of Reckless Thirst For Forbidden Knowledge”, file 6–> “Like, am I immortal? Am I already dead?”, the infamous file 14–> “ive always wanted to be killed by something that loved me”, file 16 ->sydneys childhood dreams, file 23-> “being a bit paranoid is better than rotting alive”, “necromancy is pointless.. without death you cant live”, file 25-> “constantly tired, constantly afraid, not even allowed to die” when referring to the fox-hunt

Theory: Sydney’s death was via drowning

Sydney is connected to the unknowable shape in the lake (like the journals, anything connected to sydneys death and resurrection seem to impact reality itself to hide it)

Up And Adam reminds Syndey and meets with Sydney in bodies of water. Adam is known to be interested in tormenting Sydney based off his memories

Soren’s rabbit was disposed of in the lake

The lake is associated with decomposition (file 13)

Sydney has always been afraid of the water (file 17)

abandoning a child in a lake huh? thats what motherhood means to you?(file 18)

thoughts: sydneys primary symptoms out of the camp is struggling to breathe (hypoxia)- typically related to drowning. the limn is known to reconstruct/mess with memories to keep its nature hidden, including masking how sydney died. i believe sydneys fear of the water stems not from childhood but from his death. as well, the unknowable object in the lake appears related to sydney

2. who is Lucille

lucille has a large association with fire, including the bon fire and her flame thrower

lucille, sydney and sorren are the only ones to step foot on the death fields (file 4)

lucille lived on camp before sydney (file 34), but the origins of camp are unknown

lucille’s appears to know everything at camp, similar to sydney

with lucilles presence at the camp all year around, just like sydney, and seemingly no mentions of her leaving the camp even for small periods of time,

as we infer Sydney’s soul is connected to the lake, Lucille’s is possibly connected to the bon fire. with her fire imagery and puppet imagery, and the fact she knows everything occurring within camp always, just like sydney when he speaks with the bonfire, i theorize the bonfire is tied to Lucille in some aspect

3. Jedidiah’s Project

the timeline at chnt goes

- Jedidiah has been distant for 6 years ish, Sydney died before becoming a camp counsellor (file 34), there were 4 months where sydney was in the hospital (approx hospitalized june/july?), sydney was resurrected 2.6 years ago since the first episode. jedidiah has been working on his new project for the last year and a half

Jedidiah does not remember how he resurrected Sydney, his memories were contained to his journal

Jedidiah has agent connections, through his clocks, through the tonies and potentially lucille..?

Jedidiahs project is likely black market/illegal, with the fairymarket sigil (file 8). “if you found out what I was working on, you’d die a horrible death” (File 34)

my theory: what jedidiah is working on is likely related to health, life force and energy and necromancy. we know jedidiah was investigating magic for the sake of Sydney’s health pre-resurrection, so why would he stop after sydney has been brought back? what do you do when a machine stops working? you turn it off and on again. my theory is what hes doing is finding a method to cure sydney, to take care of him fully and mold his body into something free of his chronic illness- whether that requires killing him to start over, or not

ANYWAYS THATS ALL FOR NOW!!!

HAPPY CHNT Season 2 soon………..

[dannybobany]

Let’s talk about Mr Outback

Mr Outback is an npc from orange oasis whom is incredibly easy to miss for several reasons yet who’s dialogue has large lore implications for the world of omori, so let’s refresh ourselves on who this guy is

This is Mr Outback, he can also be found at the train station before going to orange oasis and as I said before he’s an Incredibly easy to miss npc that I’m sure several people who will see this post never even encountered on their first playthrough, this is due to the fact Mr Outback cannot be interacted with after completing the lost library, and since many players don’t explore orange oasis immediately this guy just won’t be available to talk to

[excerpt from the omori wiki about this, ps that I don’t agree with the wiki writer’s assumption here, I think he just built a sand sculpture of himself and left]

But why is this npc important? You must be asking if you aren’t familiar with him. Well, his dialogue is… to my knowledge, the only place in omori that implies headspace is more then just a lucid dream sunny experiences

For convenience I’ve gathered all relevant dialogue here for you to read if you haven’t or just don’t remember what he says:

So there it is, In all its glory… the singular place in omori that suggests not only that Sunny’s headspace is real in some capacity, but that other people have them too and some like Mr outback here can travel between them

But what exactly does all of this say about the nature of headspace(s)? I aim to break it down

“Them folks who’ve been here long… they know more then they’re letting on”

This line is like. Stupidly ominous for no reason, in my opinion it’s about the three great creatures, and is Mr Outback’s way of warning Sunny that dream characters become more aware and powerful the longer they exist, dreams aren’t meant to be so permanent… so loved in as Sunny’s headspace is

“We got a third eye, you could say… a sixth sense, if you catch my drift”

This line is more intuitive, combined with everything else he says this line comes off as him telling Sunny that creating a headspace is a special ability that they and presumably other people share, he’s being kind of shady as he says it too, like he wants to make sure the characters of Sunny’s world aren’t hearing their conversation

“But you, dark haired kiddo, your aura’s all cattywampus! It’s all dark and twisted and it ain’t mellowin down anytime soon.”

I feel the need to touch on this line because it means Mr Outback either straight up went to blackspace, or can tell without going to Blackspace that there’s something very wrong about Sunny’s headspace … none the less he doesn’t seem shocked, so while I feel that whitespaces and blackspaces aren’t necessarily a commonality between dreamers, I do think they’re common enough for Mr Outback to not flinch at encountering a space with one or both

The entire answer to “where am I?” Is incredibly loaded and actually contains the most information that I find important to this

“This place has been around since the beginning of time, I reckon”

This one line means so much … first of all, the phrasing of “this place” is why I say astral projection in my original post, this is a place… not a phenomenon, not a skill or a sense, a place… or I suppose a plain is a more apt description for how I’m thinking of it, I believe this to be saying that headspace’s all exist in some larger… place, another dimension is possible but I don’t think of it like that, I take it more as some kind of in-between realm … “astral plain” actually a pretty good thing to call it imo, especially since there’s a couple instances where it appears to be a direct window to the spirit world

Another interesting thing is that he follows this up with “I reckon” to specify that he actually ain’t sure if what he’s saying is true… jsut that he has some reason to think it, and while we aren’t given that reason, the idea that there is one intrigues me

“It looks different to everyone… but this time around, it’s pretty colorful and cutesy, for the most part… not to mention pretty dang big! That’s a powerful imagination you got there, kiddo”

This is just some general stuff about headspace(s) and how they work but at the end Mr Outback feels the need to comment on how big Sunny’s headspace, and the way the dialogue is formatted here… when read kinda makes it seem like this fact is giving Mr Outback pause, not to mention the wording of “powerful imagination” as opposed to the usual “big imagination” while it could be nothing… almost makes me wonder if being able to do what Sunny does with his headspace, how big it is, how complex it is, and how much power he has in it …, isn’t the same for everyone, and the choice of the word “powerful” here is… deliberate (but again, could be nothing)

“When someone looks for the truth… the world will create a set of keys, and those keys… they’ll take a different form dependin’ on the persons will. You know what your keys look like, don’t’cha? Just press [control to open hangmen menu]”

This…. This is a lot, so this seems like it’s saying that the existence of keys in dreamworlds is either completely consistent or just extremely common… one could take this to mean that all dreamworlds/headspaces are subconsciously desgined for finding truths but I don’t think this is the case, not only because I tend to believe that Sunny had access to headspace before the incident but also because the way Mr Outback talks about a “sixth sense” makes me feel like this is just a power, a thing that some people can do, just that it’s very very common for peoples brains to subconsciously add stuff like this to their headspace, just presumably things more mundane then Sunny’s truth

And then he breaks the fourth wall. I’m not gonna comment on that I think that’s probably just the devs being cheeky with this character and not actual lore.

“Don’t you know not to ask old folks that! I’d say give or take 33000 years though…but it’s not like that matters all that much at this point”

This line despite its initial shock value is pretty simple to me, Mr Outback is talking about time dilation here, he’s counting his age by how long he’s spent In the dream-plain as well as his real life, given Mr Outback is stated to be pretty old, my guess is that he’s probably a retired man taking the last bit of his life to bounce around other people’s dreams to give them advice and spread what information he has about dreamers, a presumably infinite amount of time can pass in these dream worlds without effecting the real world much- since it’s not to big of a stretch to guess dreamers have some control of this, one could presumably extend the time difference as long as they want it to be

So there’s some breakdowns of Mr Outback’s dialogue and the implications I’ve garnered … what do I think? Well, I think it’s fully possible for this to be the way omori’s world works, and I think it fits well with other debatably supernatural elements present in the game, earlier I mentioned that there are points where it seems this dreamplain place is connected to the spirit world, I said that because

1. Ghost Mari

2. The crossroads area at the end of the game

3. Sunny sees Basil’s Grandma at the crossroads before actually knowing she’s dead

That last thing in my opinion could mean that dreamers are more connected to the spiritworld then regular people, able to catch glimpses of it even in their waking lives, physical crossroads in the real world acting as hubs for spiritual connection and places that ghosts pass through, and thus this location being where sunny ends up after the fight with Basil when they’re both severely injured and close to death-

This is also why I believe the Basil in that area actually IS Basil and not a figment of Sunny’s imagination, in this instance they’re both accessing this limbo at the same time and end up running into each other while crossing through it

(to add to this idea, while I haven’t actually seen the statement in question, several people have told me that omocat’s mentioned Basil having his own headspace in some capacity, him and Sunny both being ‘Dreamers’ would put a lot more meaning to “my thoughts will follow you in your dreams” and give a bit of insight into why they understand each other so well and are so close in the first place, maybe Dreamers are just drawn to one another)

So that’s Mr Outback and the casual maybe sorta implied “headspace is real actually” implied canon deal… I just wanted to make a post about this because it’s insane and we as a fandom should talk about it more

So are we ever going to talk about the “headspace is real and a type of astral projection” thing or.

[the-opal-dragons-roost]

My decision to merge this blog with my daemon blog has got me thinking more deeply about how my stories/projects, mental state/mental health, and thoughtforms relate to each other and exactly how much I've blurred the lines between all three.

me getting ridiculously philosophical and overthinking my personal views on existence under the cut

also some stuff about daemons and Ghost and how they fit in with all this

I see my personal existence as something divided into multiple layers. These layers can affect each other, but the way they influence each other is not a 1:1 effect, and the influences generally move inward, or from the outside in.

There's the realm beyond my understanding or the "spiritual" realm. For me personally, that ultimately means God. To me, God exists and can influence any aspect of the next layer of reality that They want, whether They actually do or not. (This isn't a religious post and I'm not getting into it here, but it's relevant)

I'm not 100% sure of things that exist between God and my reality. I guess you could call that the spiritual realm or astral realm, the one where ghosts and spirits and demons and the like exist. It's something like, I don't necessarily believe in those things, but I will treat them with respect just in case and I'm open to being wrong about it, though that idea scares me.

Then there's my reality, which is the physical plane that we all exist on. Idk what else to say about it tbh. It's life as we know it. I kinda also put the internet in an in-between space in that my daemons and I can both directly and indirectly interact with. Y'know, 'cause internet.

The next layer to me, is what I call the Core. As described in my 'about' post, the Core is basically a geographical representation of my brain. It contains my hopes, dreams, fears, etc. and mostly reflects my mental health.

The final layer for me is the fictional world I've created for stories. This world doesn't really have a name, but it's basically what it says on the tin: It's the fictional universe that I created for stories to take place in. The characters there are exactly that: characters. Characters that I create and develop for the sake of their stories, and while they can mean a lot to me and are 'real' in the context of the world in which they live, they are ultimately fictional to me. They are unaware of my existence because though my Core and reality exist around them and can affect them, they are not actually part of the fictional reality.

Here's how I've blurred these lines for myself (specifically the ones connecting me, the Core and the fictional headworld) and why it's giving me a bit of an existential crisis, especially now that Ghost has been thrown into the mix.

Cairo, Agate, and Cobalt are daemons. They are my conscious/subconscious given a separate name and personality. In my mind, this makes them something like an extension of the Core. They are connected to it, they are a part of it (and part of me) but they cannot directly impact the Core in the way I can. They can also affect the fictional headworld, but generally don't since it's more my thing, and the world isn't 'real' to them in the way it is for the regular characters.

Because they're not corporeal, they can't directly affect my reality, though I can project them existing in it, and arguably they do interact with reality through me. The reverse is how I interact directly with the Core and fictional headworld through my 'sona, August.

And then there's Ghost.

The reason he kinda startled me is because there is another sort of 'in-between' state that exists between the Core and the fictional headworld. The beings that fall into this in-between state are aware of who I am as the creator and manager of their world, but can still interact and exist in the fictional world (tho generally they stay in the Core). I generally still call them 'characters' because they are aware of me only to the extent that I've designed them to, if that makes sense. I've made them to help manage some aspect of my mind/creative process, and that's generally their existence. They don't generally acknowledge my reality or the fact that I exist outside of August's presentation in the fictional headworld and Core (some of the older ones have some idea of my reality, but that's another story).

Ghost was originally another one of these 'in-between' characters, but when I went to develop a bit of backstory and some relationships for him in the Core, he basically looked me in the eye and said "yeah, we're not doing that."

While most of my characters have a 'mind of their own' and go in directions I didn't necessarily intend (most writers experience this), this is the first time a 'character' just directly spoke to me in the way that my daemons do. Ghost's understanding of who and what I am to both him and his existence is very different from that of the in-between characters, but he's also very different from my daemons.

Because he's not a daemon, he wasn't formed in/by the Core and doesn't have the same connection to it. however, because he fully knows who I am and my relation to his existence, he can't comfortably exist in the fictional headworld or Core on his own the way other characters can. Another issue is that the Core is under construction. Outside of the structure I call Home and Ghost's own house, there's nowhere to go and nothing to do. He is aware of my reality, but because he has no true connection to my Core thought processes and can't physically interact with my reality, he also isn't a fan of me projecting him following me around here the way I do with my daemons.

Which brings me to the present. Ghost's sudden self-awareness is kind of stressing me out. Because my existence alone can't sustain him the way it can my daemons, I need to actively give him time and attention that is separate from my day-to-day existence. Because he can really only exist in the Core, I'm having to scramble to make it functional, which generally consumes a lot of mental/creative energy. I think he will be ok and need far less devoted attention once the Core is less, uh, barren, but for now, I feel like I can't leave him alone too long because the emptiness freaks him out and makes him sad.

Thus, the development of the geographical representation of my brain is put on a rush order. To be honest, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Because my big comic project revolves around rebuilding/fixing the Core, I've been needing to do this for a while now, so despite the urgency stressing me a bit, I guess this is a good thing? It's the reality we're both living with, so yeah, that's what I'm doing for now. At the very least, my daemons can help spend time with him in the Core when I can't. Really, my biggest obstacle with all this is the fact that I have the attention span of a goldfish. Working on it tho.

[thoselilacbones]

I’ve never been one to put specific words to the different actions, but for me the differences are mainly in the locations. [all simply my own experiences]

I do agree that astral projecting is where your soul fully leaves your body and you no longer have feeling of it. You are very floaty and can fly around in the same material plane you exist in. Good for checking up on people or seeing what someone is doing. Personally I’m not a fan of the feeling.

Dreamwalking is exactly what it sounds like, you’re able to soul walk into another persons dreams, have a nice chat with them, change their dream to what you want it to be even. Most people can do a very basic unconscious version of this, if you’ve ever been worried and thinking deeply about someone and you then are in their dream and having a conversation with them— or vice versa, someone from your life (a parent, an ex, an old friend) suddenly turns up in your dream out of nowhere and has questions for you. That’s one of the first steps of dreamwalking.

Now I’ve never been able to do this on command, (my partner does it all the time) but you can visit other parallel universe versions of yourself. Your soul essentially has a connection already to the other version so travel is simple, there is a sort of space between the worlds where some cosmic things live. I’ve only had it happen twice while sleeping, for me the souls swap places (aka my soul goes into the other me and the other me’s soul goes to my body) but for my partner they just share the same body when he visits. It’s strange, but fun to see— if the other you dies while you’re there your soul gets violently ripped back to your own body. It’s not a great feeling, but fun fact, that trauma is housed in the body so no worries about being afraid of earthquakes or being stabbed after you experience an alternate you’s death. (You can also visit people other than yourself in parallel worlds, but it’s very different and neither my partner nor I have ever been able to do it on purpose)

Then there’s the void. You essentially fall/push your soul out your back and down and down into the abyss. You’ll know the void if you’ve been there, endless crushing darkness with things that would eat you in a heartbeat living in it. I don’t recommend it for most.

I don’t know what to call this, I simply think of it as ‘visiting’ or ‘calling to’, but it might be closer related to the ‘astral travel’ windvexer mentioned. For me this is when I want to talk to a specific spirit. I ‘call out’ to them (by name or vibe) and like a telephone they’re welcome to pick up or not. If they pick up then you essentially are partially in your own body, and partially wherever they are (the hill nearby, the sky’s over Asia, the in-between of dimensions, etc) without having to travel all the way there yourself. Then you can have a nice chat or such, and when you’re both done you can say goodbye and ‘hang up’ and the part of the soul with them auto-zips right back to your body. For me it’s always done while awake, if I’m sitting/lying down in quiet then I can participate more fully on the far side. Used best for deep conversations and long distances, but it’s the same feeling as talking to any spirit that’s nearby.

Soul space (as I refer to it) is simply your own soul. You go deep into the core of yourself and there’s a whole world there, shaped by you consciously or unconsciously. It’s where all your memories and emotions are held and your soul lives there. Your soul is also shaped to look like what you want. Critters can live in your soul space, and you can even recruit spirits to live there full time and help you keep things tidy and organized. There’s a lot I could go into here, but personal soul work is very important for overall balance.

If you’re already in your soul space it’s not too hard to leave it by going through the edges into other spaces. I’m not the best to describe this, but essentially it’s just one version of travel, an experienced dream walker can get to the same places that way. To me this is how I’ve thought of hedge crossing— as my soul shape has shrubs and hedges at its edges that I must crawl under or leap over to go other places. But I don’t consider myself a witch or know much about actual hedge crossing.

This is all that I have personal experience with for different forms of soul travel shenanigans. Things like sharing senses with another or visiting someone else soul space and such like I didn’t include, but I’d be happy to hear if these separations make any sense or if there’s actual names for some of these.

have you ever astral projected + are astral projection / astral travel / soul flight / crossing the hedge(is that what it’s called) all the same thing?

The terms I'm familiar with are as follows:

astral projection = a full out of body experience with no awareness of the physical body; accomplished while in a sleep or coma-like state. Being severed from your body in this fashion can be disorienting and it can be troublesome remembering your tasks or goals.

Astral travel = a partial out-of-body experience, also called bilocation, where some awareness of the physical body is maintained. "depth" of experience varies from shallow to deep.

As I see the terms used, typically astral travel, bilocation, soul flight, and hedge crossing are synonymous; you use the witchy words if you're doing something witchy with it.

A person may engage in soul flight whether or not they are fully or partially out of their physical bodies.

[dogcopter]

Rose is Lion Theory

Before Steven Universe Future ends, a consolidation of sprawling Rose Quartz endgame speculation into one post. Structured for story sense, but pulling from all points of canon throughout for context:

Mechanics/powers

Lion: secrets and behaviors

Suspicious characters, dreams and stuff

Future/speculation and arc implications

TL;DR: Maybe if she has the same abilities Steven does, Rose Quartz gave up her physical form to Steven, but did not die in the sense that her personality still exists somehow. Using the same sort of astral projection powers Steven has demonstrated, Rose has continued to watch over her son in secret after changing her identity, like she did when staging Pink Diamond’s shattering. 

Image and text heavy. Potential spoilers for Steven Universe Future up to Bismuth Casual - This is long and I may add a few things to it.

Lion’s introduction in Steven’s Lion.

After they meet in the desert, Lion follows Steven home.

Lion approaches Steven after he lifted up his shirt, exposing his gem, so it’s possible he recognized Rose Quartz’s son. However, the Gems had never met Lion, and didn’t know he was connected to Rose.

From Steven’s Lion:

Steven: Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are coming. Quick, put my head in your mouth! Pearl: Steven! What is that? What are you doing?

From Rose’s Scabbard:

Pearl: Does Lion have something to do with Rose? Amethyst: Ohh, of course! That’s why he’s pink!

...

Pearl: No, Rose didn’t have a lion, because if Rose had a lion I would have known about it!

How does Lion know where the Crystal Gems live? Where they’d take a corrupted Gem after destroying its physical form?

Lion doesn’t know where to find Steven/the Pink Diamond gem innately. In Jungle Moon, Stevonnie has to call Lars in order for him to find them, and Lars and Lion have identical powers from their pink revival.

Lars: Keep searching! We're not giving up on them, no matter what! Stevonnie: Lars! Hey Lars! Hey! Lars: There you are! We've been looking all over for you!

And Lars and Lion have the same magic abilities. Per SU podcast “The Fantasy of Steven Universe”

Anything Lion can do, Lars can do.

It’s possible Rose told Lion about the Gems and how to get to Beach City and where they live, but it’s likely he has never been there if they had no clue about him. He warps straight to the Temple.

The generally accepted explanation for Lion’s behavior is that Rose masterminded Lion’s knowledge and prepared for him to tell Steven everything, or at least told him her life story in enough detail, perhaps confiding in him, that his level of knowledge would make sense. 

Almost anything Lion does can be explained that way, but Lion being Rose makes more sense as an explanation. After all, she was known for being secretive.

From A Single Pale Rose:

Rose: No one can ever find out we did this. I never want to look back.

From Now We’re Only Falling Apart:

Sapphire: She lied to us! She lied about everything!

From Rose’s Scabbard:

Garnet: Rose kept many things secret, even from us.

From Steven’s Dream:

Greg: There were some things your mom didn't like to talk about. I never pressed her for details.

Mechanics

How is it possible for Rose to be Lion? Steven’s mysterious extra OP astral projection/dream/possession spirit powers that came up again in In Dreams.

Rose’s absence is consistently described as “giving up her physical form”.

Body swap: Steven controls other organic beings in Super Watermelon Island, The New Lars, and Escapism.

Dream travel, lucid dreaming, and dream TV: Steven is able to travel in his dreams and talk to others in Chille Tid (Lapis while fused in Malachite), affect the content of other people’s dreams Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service (Kiki’s recurring nightmare), change his own dreams and broadcast and record them in In Dreams (Camp Pining Hearts fanfiction)

Astral projection/”psychic ghost thing”: In addition to astral projecting in the above forms, Steven travels from Homeworld to Earth via astral projection in Escapism, and confronts the Diamonds via astral projection in Reunited. They can’t see him, but can perceive an “aura”.

If Steven can do this, and this ability was familiar to the Diamonds, Rose may be able to do these things as well. Steven’s ability to take over organic bodies explains Rose using Lion’s body because they’re related powers, which is made clear in Escapism when Steven astral projects to find Earth and ends up in a Watermelon Steven body far from home.

When does Lion act like Rose?

Secrets

The following section are things Lion knows that only Rose, or only Rose and Pearl know, including locations related to Rose Quartz and Pink Diamond. 

Secret: Lion

Went over this above. Gems didn’t know about Lion himself.

Secret: Armory

Pearl: You must be thinking of someplace else. I’m the only other Crystal Gem that’s witnessed the Armory’s magnificence before now. Steven: Nuh-uh, Lion showed me.

On one of their first adventures together, Lion brings Connie and Steven to a place only Pearl and Rose knew about. 

He also seems to know how the Armory works; he encourages Steven to activate the controls and doesn’t let the kids bail on training. Pearl had to climb a cliff to bring Steven there.

Secret: Mane

Lion’s mane contained Bismuth, Rose’s Crystal Gem keepsakes, including the sword that Pearl hadn’t seen. and keepsakes from Greg. 

When Steven finally unbubbles Bismuth in Bismuth and frees her from the mane, Lion immediately looks at the Crystal Gems’ reaction.

The mane also held the tape “For Steven”; “For Nora” was abandoned in the desert. Rose gave up her physical form before she could have known the baby’s sex, as Greg explains in Lion 4: Alternate Ending.

Greg: When you have a kid, you have no idea who they’re gonna be. Even Garnet couldn’t predict it. That’s what was so exciting to your mom, that life is full of so many possibilities, and you would get to explore them for yourself. I mean, you could be Steven or Nora or anyone else. And you can always change your name; hey, I did.

Lion is able to remove the sword from his mane in Lion 2: The Movie, meaning he may have had both tapes in the mane at one point, ejecting the Nora tape after meeting Steven. Not necessarily something he’d have to be Rose to do.

Secret: Scabbard & Battlefield

Lion finds Rose’s scabbard immediately at the battlefield. From Rose’s Scabbard:

Pearl: That’s the scabbard for Rose’s sword!

Lion also knows where to find Pearl when she gets upset; the battlefield where the scabbard was abandoned. Even though Pearl introduces the location like this:

Pearl: This was the site of a historic battle. Every weapon here was left by a Gem over 5,000 years ago. I don’t like to disturb it, but Garnet said we can’t just leave these lying around.

Later, when Pearl is upset, Steven asks Lion:

Steven: Do you know where she went? Lion: growl Steven: I’m going to assume that means you do.

...then he warps Steven to the battlefield. After Steven chases her to a floating island, Pearl then says:

Pearl: Do you remember this place? Do you have any of her memories? We were right here, over 5,000 years ago.

Pearl recreates the moment she and Rose chose to stay on Earth forever. Another location specific to Rose and Pearl.

Secret: Moon Base

Lion warps Steven to the Moon Base in both It Could’ve Been Great and in Can’t Go Back. The Galaxy Warp was destroyed pre-corruption, so unless Rose wanted to visit and gave excellent warp directions, Lion could not have visited it before. But Rose spent some time there as Pink Diamond!

Secret: Landfill/Pink Diamond

Lion brings Steven to the landfill in Lion 4: Alternate Ending, when Steven is paranoid about his magical destiny.

He was excited to get Steven into the mane in Lion 3, but in Lion 4 he’s reluctant to answer Steven’s questions, and acts much more subdued and serious than usual when they get there. 

He brings Steven to Greg to have his questions about “For Nora” answered, but leaves before Greg sees him. 

One other thing that’s slightly different between “For Steven” and “For Nora” is Rose’s monologue in the tape. Two sections are slightly different. One of them is this:

“For Steven”:

Steven, we can’t both exist.

“For Nora”: 

Nora, we can’t both exist, but I won’t be gone.

The other revelation in the landfill is Pink Diamond’s ship. Its location was known only to Rose, Pearl didn’t know there was still a working ship on the planet. From Space Race:

Pearl: It’s fine. I’ll always have my memories of other worlds. But now I’m here. On Earth. Forever.

Rose’s identity as Pink Diamond was a secret. In Legs From Here to Homeworld all it takes to activate the ship is an incidental touch from Steven:

Lion must have known bringing Steven to look for answers here would risk Steven discovering Rose’s secret identity?

Behaviors

Rose is not necessarily Lion full-time; Lion is a revived lion with the same powers as Lars. 

Lion’s relationship to Connie or Steven isn’t in this post, although it’s significant to both of them; Connie, Steven, and Lion have closely related character arcs, but in terms of the theory I’m sticking to characters Lion would have known as Rose or as Pink. I do have this brief post about Connie knowing Lion and Steven well enough to figure out Rose is Lion.

Garnet is also missing from this post because Lion has spent suspiciously little time around Garnet, presumably because Rose knows how her future vision works.

Lion’s interactions with other characters:

Behavior: Amethyst

Lion seems to like Amethyst! He’s particularly affectionate with her, and she’s affectionate with him. They’re shown in the background being cuddly a few times. Amethyst feels an instant connection.

(Is this a family photo?)

Lion also keeps an eye on Amethyst's reaction during Cry For Help, while Steven is distracted by Sardonyx’s whimsy;

Behavior: Pearl

Notable Pearl and Lion scenes. In Lion 3 they watch Steven sleep together.

In Scabbard they interact a lot and it’s interesting. He’s amused by Pearl taking the scabbard from him and annoyed at being shooed away.

Then he’s mad at her for trying to get into his mane.

We don’t get to see his face once when Pearl gets upset in the living room, but when Steven asks where Pearl went...

Lion knows exactly where to take him, and feels strongly about it.

He lets Pearl put the sword in his mane and ride on his back at the end of the episode.

He has some reactions in the movie, like after Pearl sings her incredible verse about moving on from Rose, Lion wakes up with this look on his face

He also hangs around Greg and rejuvenated Pearl, although his face isn’t shown much.

Behavior: Greg

Lion loves hanging out with Greg! 

Lion’s notable scenes with Greg include: that time he took Steven back to fight with the Crystal Gems in The Return, and then hid before Greg could see him in Full Disclosure. 

Is this a family photo?

And at the very end of the series, the time he shows up to face Greg with a badly injured Watermelon Steven.

Greg greets him with a smile before he sees Steven - maybe Lion’s shown up to spend time with him before?

Character development. And of course in the movie, Lion gives Greg a little kiss in a Crystal Gem groupshot. Very cute!

Behavior: Diamonds

Lion has a visible reaction to the Diamonds and seems to understand their power, even though he would never have encountered them before.

In Reunited, Lion tries his hardest and he’s the first to charge Blue Diamond after a teamwork. 

Makes sense for Rose to be angry with Blue

Also in Reunited, Lion is the only character who keeps an eye out for Yellow Diamond after the Cluster knocks down her ship.

In Legs From Here to Homeworld, Lion is making a face for most of the episode. He is not happy about this new development (asking White Diamond to help with corruption)

In Escapism, when Steven asks for help against White Diamond, Lion looks unusually worried.

He looks a little judgy when the Diamonds and Spinel sing in the movie.

Behavior: Spinel

Lion allows Spinel to ride around on his back, but he also shoots her dirty looks, 

and leaves her behind at the Sadie Killer concert.

If Rose is Lion, oof. But hey, still in character based on past behavior!

Behavior: Jasper

We don’t know the nature of Rose and Jasper’s relationship, and Lion doesn’t interact with her much, but Lion is there to witness Malachite’s fusion.

In Crack the Whip we get a few Jasper clues. He reacts to mention of Jasper’s name at the beginning.

He also seems big mad at Jasper, who spends the whole time aggressing at Steven under the impression he’s Rose.

Curious to see if this comes back when we get to hear Jasper’s story in Future.

Unresolved Mysteries

Some things about Lion and about Rose that still lack answers and could affect this:

What Lion and Rose’s relationship looked like

how he died and was revived by Rose’s abilities.

Desert Glass gem. 

The lizards he eats

Whether or how it’s even possible Rose gave up her gem to Steven while continuing to exist as a separate entity on the astral plane like this.

Suspicious Characters, Dreams & Stuff

Galaxy brain: if Rose is Lion, what’s to say she doesn’t have the other abilities Steven has? 

Steven has Pink Diamond dreams when he needs the information in the dream. When animal sidekicks appear they lead him to his goals. If Lion is a mysterious animal sidekick who appeared just to be Steven’s friend, and he’s secretly Rose, what other convenient animal sidekicks are suspect?

If he doesn’t have a magical destiny, but does have a magical, secretive mom who can astral project and hijack organic bodies, maybe she’s been lending him a hand here and there.

The only time the mask slips is in Storm in the Room.

Steven: And that’s why I’m here, isn’t it? Did you just make me so you wouldn’t have to deal with your mistakes? Is that all I’m here for?

Rose: Steven, you know that isn’t true. In the tape I left you, I told you how much I wanted to have you and let you exist.

Ghosts

There are a few characters I call “suspicious ghosts” who aid Steven along his journey. They only exist to be convenient to Steven, even though Steven doesn’t have a magical destiny, and might be Rose:

Tiny Floating Whale: Has Susan Egan’s voice and appears before Steven hears her voice in Lion 3

Baby Melon: Is friends with Steven, punches Steven to draw the ire of the other melons and sacrifice himself.

Dream Dogcopter: Leads Steven to Lapis when he’s looking for Malachite. Tells Steven to “take a deep breath” when Lion is trying to get him in his mane.

Melon Dogs: Shows Steven Malachite is near Mask Island. Tries to distract and entertain Steven when he’s trapped in Pink Diamond’s tower.

Maybe Pink Steven? Maybe Cactus Steven? (They could be more Rose ghosts, given the way they behave, but could also be exactly what they appear to be)

Dreams & Memories

Like Lion, Steven’s dreams also seem to help him out with information his mom would have.

Steven’s Dream: Steven asks Greg if his mom ever talked about Pink Diamond, Greg tells Steven that Rose didn’t tell him about her past. Steven has a dream of crying in front of the palanquin, prompting him to search for answers there.

Jungle Moon: Stevonnie is stranded on one of Yellow Diamond’s Moon Bases and has a dream that is partially a memory of Pink Diamond’s. Using the code they see in the dream, they are able to unlock YD’s console and call for help.

Can’t Go Back: Steven dreams of Pink Diamond trying to save Earth and Pearl with Rose’s sword, prompting him to speak to Pearl and uncover her secret.

Masterpost of suspicious ghosts that goes into slightly more detail.

Rose’s Characterization

From Storm in the Room:

Steven: I finally know the truth. I know what you are! You’re a liar! I thought you’d never want to hurt anyone, but you hurt everyone! How could you just leave Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl and Dad? They don’t know what to do without you! Maybe they didn’t matter to you as much as hiding the mess you made!

My read of Rose choosing to be Lion but not tell the others is because she cared about them, but like other things she’s done, that doesn’t change the fallout.

The good news: If Rose is Lion, and she is still around in some fashion, if she can only overcome this pattern of behavior and face the truth... then, like everyone else in Steven Universe, she has a chance to change!

But... 

Lion is pink because he’s like Lars: Yes. See above. I’m not claiming there’s an alternate explanation for Lion’s appearance or abilities, or contradicting his behaviors. It’s just that Rose is using his body.

Lion knows everything because Rose told him: I don’t think this makes sense given what we know of Rose. I don’t mind being wrong if there’s a better explanation.

Rose is dead My only response to this objection is yea, as far as we know, but there’s enough supporting detail not explained in other ways that I believe the theory has merit. It’s not like SU hasn’t misdirected us before.

Future Speculation

In the Steven Universe Future premiere, although Steven really doesn’t want to think about what she did anymore (and who could blame him?) we get a little bit of new Rose lore. Shy Rose Quartz.

I think this is Rose. I don’t know how she managed it, but I think we’ll learn soon. With the possibility Rose is Lion, and can inhabit other bodies, the whole vibe of Rose Buds changes. Here is a post dedicated to that: Shy Rose is Steven’s Mom. That’s all. From A Single Pale Rose:

Rose: Convincing? Pearl: Very much so, my DIamond. Rose: Soon it will be just Rose.

In Volleyball it’s also explained that she traumatized her former Pearl, and that Rose changed her behavior so much that it’s like Pearl and Volleyball knew two different people.

One last thing: Steven’s arc.

From I Am My Mom:

I get it now. I’m the only one who can stop what she started. I can stop all of it!

From Reunited:

Now all that’s left of her exists in me, and I think that we can all agree: that is a little bit upsetting. I’d rather think about a wedding!

From Storm in the Room:

No, I’m sure you meant it. I get it. I know you didn’t want me to deal with your problems. You’re a part of me now. I have to deal with what you left behind.

From “Happily Ever After”:

Once upon a time, I thought I’d always be in my mother’s shadow Answering for her crimes, I thought I’d always be in an endless battle

From the end of the movie:

There’s no such thing as happily ever after. I’ll always have more work to do.

Steven has a tough relationship with his mom by now. 

Like when she said “We can’t both exist,” recently called back in Rose Buds. 

From Storm in the Room:

In the tape I left you, I told you how much I wanted to have you and let you exist. Do you think what I said to you in the tape was a lie?

If you entertain this theory as plausible given the lore, the implications change; what if Rose isn’t gone? What if she’s not half of him? What if at least part of that tape was just another lie?

And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you. Because you’re going to be something extraordinary; you’re going to be a human being.

Steven has internalized a lot from when he was young. His best friend Lion has been there for him. We’re also seeing the ways his childhood trauma has manifested in coping behaviors and automatic reactions from his gem, not unlike his mom before him. 

Right now, in Future, mid-breakdown - how would Steven react to such a paradigm shift?

Thank you for reading! I know this is a lot. 

[aion-rsa]

Insidious: Is The Further Real?

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“The Further is a world far beyond our own, yet it’s all around us, a place without time as we know it,” Elise Rainier (Lin Shaye) explains in the 2011 occult horror film Insidious. “It’s a dark realm filled with the tortured souls of the dead, a place not meant for the living.” Director James Wan saw the astral world through the eyes of fear. It was how he was able to evoke the most terror from the nether regions of soul and thought.

Horror films have made a spiritual ghetto out of the universe which lies between dream, sleep and death. They focus on the malevolent realm of incubi, succubae and the Red-Lipstick-Face Demon. The map to the Further is not limited to shadowy studies. Many mystical practices are divided into black and white magic out of fear and superstition, but there can be room for both.

Insidious starts off like a fairly typical haunted house movie. It opens shortly after Renai (Rose Byrne) and Josh Lambert (Patrick Wilson) move into a spooky new house with their three children. When the property progresses from ominous to hazardous, the family move into an even spookier house, fire their real estate broker, and contact an astral travel agent. The psychically gifted supernatural expert, Shaye’s Elise, explains the hauntings are not a feature of the multiple houses, but the results of a family member embarking on nocturnal astral projection missions which he believes are dreams.

The concept that the soul can leave the body during dream states is ancient. But for all the purported cosmic intelligence culled from out-of-body incidents, practitioners have found no way to scientifically measure if a spirit leaves or enters a body. It is a concept rejected by scientists but beloved by filmmakers and other artists.

In the film, the first person to put the notes together is Renai, the mother of young Dalton (Ty Simpkins), who falls into a mysterious coma early in the first act. Renai, who is a songwriter, experiences two initial contacts. The first comes in a box of missing sheet music. Musicians have always been pioneers when it comes to gray areas of society and spirituality, and rockers chose to embrace the Further. George Harrison melodically rhapsodizes about the extracorporeal aspects of certain Hindu practices in the Beatles’ song “The Inner Light.” The Moody Blues harmonize on the idea that “Thinking is the best way to travel” on their 1968 album In Search of the Lost Chord, itself a musical blueprint for transcendental journeying. Through sonics, these artists ventured happily into the transformative aspects of the Further. Among true believers, “the Further” is also called Liṅga Śarīra, Akasha, and prana. But it’s probably best known as the astral plane, a shallow tag in itself.

“The term ‘astral plane’ is a poetic description, at best, or more accurately a misnomer,” says Zeena, a Tibetan tantric Buddhist yogini, and iconic occult authority and artist. “When our consciousness pierces the veil of our ordinary, everyday scope of perception, there are infinite other realities one might experience, not just one ‘astral plane.’”

In Insidious, the paranormal hunting psychic Elise explains that Dalton is a “traveler,” who was born with the ability to pierce that veil.

“Everybody possesses the potential for astral projection,” Zeena says. “It’s a natural part of being human, just as many other metaphysical or paranormal experiences can naturally occur. But the ability to actualize it is relatively rare, and the effects from the occurrences vary greatly depending on many factors.”

Rebecca Halladay, an occult writer, scholar, and lifelong practitioner and witch, describes astral projection as “working on the Inner Planes of consciousness. In terms of ‘dimensions,’ this would be considered [fifth-dimensional] or above. Journeying is work within the physical, Earthly realm, which is [three-dimensional].”

Certain practices are believed to bridge these dimensions.

“Astral projection during deep states of unconsciousness like sleeping, fainting, or coma, could be achieved by a master of such techniques,” Zeena says. “For one who’s trained most of their life in the esoteric method of willed astral projection, and has become highly skilled in the ability to focus the mind under all circumstances, then deep states of unconsciousness wouldn’t impede their ability.”

The cinematic spiritualist doesn’t believe Dalton fell into a coma because he slipped off a ladder in a creepy attic. Elise believes the boy, being only a child, couldn’t tell the astral projection from a dream and had no fear about going too far.

“The Further looks like your surroundings, but a different lighting shade of it,” says Emi Rose, a psychotherapist and founder of Paragon Solstice. “You can see yourself.”

Rose finds that “Insidious depicts the astral plane in similar levels. It is similar in respect to the idea of a ‘physical’ mirror image of your waking life. Your surroundings around you as you sleep are remarkably similar. The difference is the state of consciousness you are now in can shape and change that experience that exists out of time and space.”

Because of the familiarity and relative comfort of these projected surroundings, Dalton gets lost in his adventures, leaving only a lifeless body behind. Elise, a veteran soul-traveler herself in the movie, is ever mindful of the dangers.

It all amounts to a very literal translation of eastern philosophical contemplations. The Buddhist meditation practice Maraṇasati is constant remembering that death can strike at any time. Thukdam is a Buddhist phenomenon in which a realized master’s consciousness remains in the body despite physical death. While this isn’t what is happening with the young Dalton, he is plugged into medical sensors which, during at least one frightening pop-up, flatline.

Practitioners and researchers are divided on whether it is possible to slip away and die during astral travel.

“There is a risk that could happen if done incorrectly,” Zeena tells us. Kristna Saikia, who is a metaphysics and meditation teacher and filmmaker, as well as a fellow astral travel facilitator, disagrees.

“No one dies in Astral travel,” Saikia says “There is a silver cord which is always connected with our etheric body. When you astral travel, you are always aware of what is happening in the earthly dimension with your body. It’s an intentional out-of-body experience. You can come back to your physical body whenever you decide.”

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In Wan’s film, tormented souls vie against demonic forces for the chance to possess Dalton. Possession is a horror film mainstay, and Insidious offers an interesting alternative arc to the usual spectral evictions enforced by Hollywood. But is it possible for an entity to take over a body during an astral trip?

“If done incorrectly, yes,” Zeena tells us. It is also something which can be done with intent. “In ceremonial magic, this is the entire purpose of entering the Inner Planes,” says Halladay. “During the Rite of Isis, the Priestess goes into the Inner Planes to invoke the Goddess Isis to bring her into the Earthly realm. Now can an entity ‘possess’ a physical being while on the planes? I would have to say it is absolutely possible.”

It turns out Dalton isn’t the only traveler in the Insidious family. He gets it from his father, who was terrorized by the spirit of an old woman during his childhood. Josh suppressed the memory, but Elise opens old wounds and new ones for the patriarch. She hypnotizes Josh, triggering his long-resting phantasmal dislocation, and sends him into the Further to find his son and bring him back.

Zeena confirms people can be guided through the experience, but insists “it’s a very delicate process requiring a qualified teacher from reputable metaphysical lineages that specialize in that. And even then, astral projection, or directing one’s consciousness, is not the main goal, but rather a way to gauge preparedness for more advanced training on the path toward spiritual enlightenment. When done improperly, the results of attempting astral projection simply for experimentation, entertainment, or curiosity can be disastrous.”

The film presents a cinematically dark alternative to the physical plane, a netherworld of unlocked doors and an overarching feeling of dread. Insidious doesn’t imply the Further is Hell, but it does look like one of the many highways AC/DC bypassed.

“They gave the darker energies too much power in the movie,” says Emi Rose. “In the astral plane, we always have a balanced choice to engage on a subconscious or conscious level. On a conscious level you can power your will, create scenarios.”

Josh’s first encounter in the Further is with the Crying Woman, not the most inviting of hosts. Citizens in Insidious’ cinematic spectral realm include the spirits of a family doomed to relive their violent deaths on a spectral loop; a long-haired, leather jacketed ghoul with a sex-fiend tongue; and a mischievous little boy. At its center is the Lipstick-Face Demon. It is tall with horns, pointed ears, snake-eyes, spidery fingers, and hooves for feet. Its skin is black as the night sky, its eyes are blacker holes.

“When one has a mind-expanding experience through any number of means, whether astral projection, meditation, or psychedelics, one encounters infinite types of beings,” Zeena says. “Recently deceased beings; beings we knew in a former incarnation but recognize in their new reincarnated state; celestial beings; demons and hell beings; mythological or magical beings; Buddhas and Bodhisattvas; Gods and demigods.” They’re all among the usual suspects.

But what you encounter is also contingent on who you call. “It all depends on the law of polarity,” Saikia says. “If you project fear, you will encounter energy vampires and evil entities.”

Halladay agrees that there are other entities in the astral planes, but says “I have never personally met other travelers, only those I have astralled with.”

The Red-Faced Demon never speaks in the film. It has, however, spoken with Josh’s mother, Lorraine (Barbara Hershey), in her dreams, which also appear to be of a special class: lucid dreaming.

“Astral traveling is a combination of Insidious and Inception,” quips Emi Rose. Inception is technically about lucid dreaming, Leonardo DiCaprio’s character Dom is technically-aided to enter dreams to steal information or implant ideas. It is often mistaken for astral travel, but not usually weaponized in the way that film presents it. Reddit’s rogue “Astral Army” community claims they combine astral travel and remote viewing to post out-of-body surveillance reports on popular conspiracy theory obsessions like Area 51.

The different practices are often mistakenly considered interchangeable, but are quite different. 

“With astral projection, one is sending one’s consciousness–either in part or fully–away from their body to a designated place or realm, in this world or others, for a particular purpose,” Zeena explains. “Remote viewing is when consciousness remains in the body but one can view anywhere else from afar. These two phenomena are also different from the involuntary experience colloquially known as OBE (out of body experiences), which usually spontaneously occurs in conjunction with trauma, near death experiences, or extreme stressors or ecstasy.”

In the overall arc of the Insidious franchise, the Further is much vaster than originally imagined, and the source and tool of mystical workings.

“There is a difference between Occultist practices and some, though not all, Esoteric Traditions,” says Halladay. “Occultists, past and present, generally accept astral projection as a regular part of their practice. Eurocentric pagan traditions do not make it a part of their regular practice.”

Though a fan of the film, Rose thought “Insidious focused too much on the shadow side of the astral plane. The movie portrayed the astral world as a scary dark place with only negative entities waiting to take over your body. So many more things occur in our dream world that we can conceive beyond bad scenarios. It is where we can conduct unfinished business, live out fantasies, replay or create scenarios, and travel to places we cannot do in our waking life.”

Late 18th century occult orders Golden Dawn and the Theosophists believed they could journey to other worlds, heavens and hells, and astrological spheres through etheric travel. In the 1999 book, Astral Dynamics, Robert Bruce calls it the “Real Time Zone,” and says it is the non-physical dimension-level closest to the physical. The New Age movement actively promotes the brighter, more enlightening aspects of the Further, to the point where the practice is on the precipice of mainstream thought.

Insidious isn’t the first film to venture beyond physical realms, but its ongoing franchise is proof the inner universe is expanding.

Insidious is streaming on Netflix now.

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[doomonfilm]

Review : Soul (2020)

Pixar has carved out a very distinct niche for themselves in the animation world... not only have they pushed the boundaries in terms of looks, but they are not afraid to deal with heavier topics.  Soul is a perfect example of these things in motion, as they have not only once again upped the ante for animation quality, but have graduated from dealing with emotion to dealing with death and the afterlife.  For all of the movies that debuted on Christmas of 2020, Soul stands out as the leader of the pack.

Middle school music teacher and aspiring jazz pianist Joe Gardenr (Jamie Foxx) has hit a point in life where he is feeling depressed and unfulfilled.  His mother Libba (Phylicia Rashad) does not support his dreams, and the rut of teaching thankless kids is wearing on him, but with the help of former student Curley (Questlove), Joe is given the opportunity to audition for a spot in famed jazz saxophonist’s Dorothea Williams (Angela Bassett), and in a moment of inspiration, Joe nails the audition.  In a cruel twist of fate, however, Joe falls down an open manhole and is killed, leading him to a journey in the Great Before where he must help 22 (Tina Fey), a soul disenchanted about living on Earth, to find purpose in the form of a new human to occupy.

For a kid’s film, Soul definitely addresses some heavy, esoteric topics, but handles them with a level of kid gloves that is not too jarring or depressing for a young mind.  Surprisingly, there is also enough depth in this handling to keep adults not only interested, but introspective after the fact.  Soul is an observant film that not only teaches you the value of your own life, but the value of the lives of those around you as well.  The attempt to try and provide an understanding and reason behind the existence of purpose is also a driving force of the narrative, making Soul possibly the most emotionally fulfilling piece of entertainment presented in 2020.

Concepts like alchemy, thin places, transcendental meditation, quantum physics, astral projection and more are laid out on the table in a very “explain it to me like I’m five” nature, which makes them easier to digest for young, developing minds.  Much like a film such as I Heart Huckabees, Soul stands as an ode to universal interconnectedness… films like these are a reminder that no matter how bleak the outlook, or now matter how lost and isolated we feel in this world, we are not alone on our journey.  Joe Gardner, therefore, stands as a role model for the kids who feel as if their passions and talents aren’t important, aren’t worthy, or make them outcasts, and hopefully it will provide them with a sense of self-worth and a drive to follow their dreams if, for no other reason, self-fulfillment.

It’s nearly impossible to talk about a Pixar film without talking about the animation quality, and Soul presents at least 3 distinct animation looks to tell this story.  While the souls and animals look great, the amount of detail in every human on the screen (be they key characters or animated extras) is incredible to the point of being breathtaking.  New York also looks stunning, with its vibrant sense of life, mixed bag of history and cultures and its proud presence all resonating in the same manner as actual real, filmed images of the city.  The pathway to the Afterlife, the Beforelife and space are also given wonderful detail in their visual presentations, making each environment immediately easy to read in terms of emotional tone.  The writing is very strong, with the tender and humorous moments equally balanced and distributed… the Jerrys and Terrys all being British also cracks me up.

Jamie Foxx subdues some of his cocky, confident nature in order to make his character as relatable as he is talented, grounding Joe Gardner in a sense of humility and respect for his craft that is admirable on the highest levels.  Tina Fey indulges in her poetic license to put the humorous pedal to the metal, but not at the expense of being able to portray a real sense of both wonder and hurt at appropriate times.  Angela Bassett brings a mix of dignity and no-nonsense leadership to her role as bandleader, manifesting as one who recognizes talent just as well as all of the baggage that often comes with it, and translating that into a tough but worthy emotional hurdle to overcome.  Graham Norton brings some of the most humorous moments to the table, while the hilarious administrative esoteric hot potato of the After/Beforelife is passed around between Rachel House, Richard Ayoade, Alice Braga, Wes Studi, Fortune Feimster and Zenobia Shroff.  Appearances by Phylicia Rashad, Questlove, Daveed Diggs, Donnell Rawlings, June Squibb, the criminally underrated and mega-talented Cody Chestnutt and more fill out the world of Soul.

With the track record that Pixar currently boasts, I’d be more surprised if they failed than I am when they succeed.  Soul more than likely would have broken box office records given the opportunity for a proper release and theatrical run, and I’d be willing to put money on it bringing home numerous awards in the animation field.

[the-ashen-gm]

30 Day Worldbuilding Challenge #9: Cosmology

What is the Cosmology of your world?

This is one that I’m quite excited to talk about! This will be a long post, so I’ll put a break in to make it less overwhelming on your dash.

First off, I will say that I really don’t like the Forgotten Realms’ alignment-centric model. This is important, because when I first started DMing games in Groppa I actually used this cosmology. Here it is, for reference:

[Image ID: The Great Wheel of the Forgotten Realms. It is a golden disc with many cocentric circles spinning within. Each circle is a different plane, with the Material Plane in the middle. End ID.]

I don’t like this model because 1. there are too many planes and 2. it doesn’t tell me anything interesting about the world and its conflicts. That’s fine because FR is meant to be a generic world for everyone to play with, but it does not suit me. Plus, most of these planes are kind of redundant. Do I really need Hades (the plane of infinite gloom) AND the Shadowfell (the plane of infinite gloom)? A lot of the Lower Planes could just be layers of the Abyss IMO. If you’re going for an alignment thing, do we really need planes for the in-betweens of alignment? Do we need a Lawful Evil, Lawful Evilish, and Lawfulish Evil plane? I say no, we don’t. All this complication is facilitating a very boring Good vs Evil struggle that I don’t care for.

So, without further ado, here is my cosmology (I’m not going to say it’s better, just that it suits me more). It is split into two parts, each of which being a different “view” of the same cosmos. We’ll start with the mortal-centric view, the one that puts the Waking World in the centre:

Part 1: The Wheel of Dreamers

[Image ID: A multicoloured wheel hanging in space. The outer ring goes from green, to blue, to orange, to red, with the words “Plane of Air”, “Plane of Water”, “Plane of Earth” and “Plane of Fire”. Then there is a yellow ring labelled “Limbo” and within that is a green and black yin-yang shape. The green part is labelled “Feywild” and the black “Shadowfell”. Between those two are icons of the sun and two moons. In the middle of all of that is an icon that looks like a green and blue planet. End ID.]

This part is not terribly different to the Forgotten Realms version, aside from the fact that Limbo is now an elemental plane. To sum it up briefly, the point of this cosmology is that the dreams, thoughts, and emotions of mortals (dreamers) is what creates the rest of the wheel. Emotions and dreams create the Feywild and Shadowfell, both planes that mirror the Waking World in the middle but with a higher emphasis on abstractions like mood, tone, and myth. If you have a home in the Waking World, it is sure to be a building packed with memories and associations for you - some good, some bad. But in the Feywild, all your most explosive and hard-hitting memories will be represented literally; for example, that time you had a great birthday party at home will be represented by a family of sprites who spend all their time feasting on a windowsill. Equally, that time you had a flaming row with your spouse will be represented by a burning tree that never goes out. Meanwhile, in the Shadowfell all your cooler associations come to life. All the hours you spent quietly reading or drawing will be represented by ghostly spirits who act out those quiet activities, and every moment of boredom or misery you felt there will echo through the warped hallways as an audible song. 

To sum up, the Feywild takes all the big emotions and makes them literal, and the Shadowfell takes all the long emotions and makes them literal. The thing they have in common is that they’re for processing complex, abstract feelings. This is totally unlike the Elemental Planes. After the soul-stuff that the dreams that made the Shadowfell and Feywild have been processed, they move through Limbo were they are further broken down into something formless and impersonal. Then they are sorted into raw components: Air, Water, Earth, and Fire. These are the building blocks of the multiverse, and exactly what the gods need to continue with their grand project.

That is the purpose of the Wheel. The gods themselves get soul-stuff energy directly from their followers, but that alone is not enough. The Wheel spins and generates more energy for them to use in concert with each other. A god can just about live off the prayers and devotion of their followers, but to keep the multiverse intact they need far more. This brings us to the god-centric view of the multiverse: The Axle upon which the Wheel spins.

Part 2: The Axle of the Gods

[IMAGE ID: A side view of the previous image, with the Wheel of Dreamers represented by a thin line in the middle. Above and below are two iscolose triangles, each with their short edge parallel to the line in the middle. The top triangle is grey, pointing up, and labelled “Mechanus”. The bottom triangle is red, pointing down, and labelled “Hell”. Hell is pointing at another thin line that is barely wider than it is, labelled “Hades”. Below that is a black vortex labelled “The Abyss”. In the background is a purple nebula labelled “The Astral Sea”. End ID.]

The Astral Sea is the home of most gods. Every star you see is its own little world, with gods and other celestial beings living there in eternal luxury. There are plenty of mortals there too, many of whom are essentially either planar travellers (read: pirates) or the exalted followers of the gods. I left the Astral Sea vague because it allows me to come up with any wacky idea for a plane I like and just have it be one of the many realms of the Astral Sea. 

Above the Wheel of Dreamers is Mechanus, (pronounced meck-ah-nuss, not meck-ay-nuss) the home of Primus the god of balance. They used to be a fairly minor god until the Abyss showed up, at which point they were forced to reorganise existence into fighting against it. They placed Mechanus in its current position to oversee reality. Then, they moulded Hell out of the broken planes that had been ravaged by the demons thus far. Placing the disgraced angel Asmodeus in charge of building an infernal army to fight the Abyss, finally Primus contracted Hades and Dread Persephone to position the plane of Hades as the battleground for the war between devils and demons. Thus reality was safeguarded against demonic incursion. The Blood War, as it came to be known, would rage forever. No matter how hard Asmodeus tried to win, Hades and Persephone would subtly alter the course of the war to keep him on the back foot. It’s a dangerous game they’re playing. Go too far in sabotaging Asmodeus and the demons will overrun reality. Let Asmodeus’ tactical brilliance be rewarded and he might conquer the Abyss, thus gaining its infinite power (power enough to overthrow the gods). 

Conclusion

So yeah, it’s not terribly different to the Forgotten Realms’ cosmology. The reason I changed it was two-fold: one, I wanted to make it not all about alignment. Two, I wanted to put the Blood War in as the central conflict of the multiverse. I like the idea of Asmodeus being an ambiguous figure who is both genuinely trying to make up for his past mistakes but is also rightfully angry at his mistreatment by the callous gods. I wanted the struggle between the Abyss and the rest of reality to not be about Good vs Evil but more about this specific “family” of gods trying to defend themselves. I took a lot of inspiration from Greek myth, as you might guess by Hades’ importance to the cosmology. I’m really into the idea of running more “planar” games where you get to go really wild with the environments you can use; central to that goal was creating a cosmology that I could vibe with.

[mor-beck-more-problems]

Word Twisters || Morgan & Rebecca

Shelves upon shelves upon shelves of books and not one of them has the right answer. guess they'll have to talk :/

Contains: brief mentions of abuse

@exorciseyourspirit

Morgan felt guilty meeting Rebecca at Riio’s special scribe hideaway without him, but it had been a communal space before, and it could be so now, if she was going to help Rebecca find a way to get Mike under control before he came back and ruined everyone’s life again. She’d brought her folding grocery cart with her so they wouldn’t be limited by what  they could fit in their arms, but the strange rustle of the wheels on the old floors was uncanny, like one of those dreams where you turn a corner and find yourself in a different memory, as a different person. Everything felt like an odd mish-mash and Morgan felt herself floating through her existence more than usual. Perhaps it was seeing Rebecca again, hitting the books again, almost like nothing happened. Shopping for solutions. She scanned the pines more longer than usual, wondering if there was a book on shocking some feeling back into a zombie body. What’s the fix for not being able to feel or process magic? Morgan looked sidelong at Rebecca, uncertain how to act after how angry she’d been in most of their conversations online. “So,” she said, “I guess even asking ‘how’s it going’ is a loaded question, huh?”

The hallways stretched out before Rebecca and for a moment, she felt trapped. In that weird, this place is too large and too secluded way. It felt like she was back in that hollow place, where everything was the same yet different. Where the kitchen clocked beeped and only Theo’s voice could reach her. She’d been able to astral project before, and had done it a few times, but never subconsciously. And that place...it was different. As if the world constructed there was pulled straight from her mind and placed into the plane. Morgan’s voice broke through her thoughts and echoed in a way that reminded Rebecca that this place was solid, and that this place was real. She put out a hand to the shelf, letting the wood ground her. “It is,” she said back after a moment, taking down another book, “but you can still ask it.” Held out the book for Morgan’s cart. She understood the wariness she held-- they’d argued angrily online and never truly coalesced their feelings about that before moving on. “Only if I get to ask it back, though. With none of those niceties as an answer.”

“R-right, sure,” Morgan said, giving the most casual shrug she could summon. She took Rebecca’s book and added it to the pile, followed her for a few more paces in the strange quiet between them. “That’s fair. I uh...I’m still dead. Still having to count putting on clean clothes and keeping up with laundry and showering as a win.” She flopped her arms at her side. Whatever was between them, however it shook out, Morgan felt at ease enough to wear her new usual of dark sweats and sweater, hair half scrunchied back to hide how fluffy it wasn’t. “Still kind of maybe fighting with my best friend, but they turned me, you know, to ‘save me,’ so. And I’ve got my girlfriend, still, somehow. I’m...adjusting. I’m getting out of bed. I’m trying to be a good...whatever.” Some of the words turned sour as she spoke them. She had been doing okay, sometimes better than, but every night was another fight not to backslide, every dead moment a silent plea to take a minute. Fall a little. And Morgan, despite her alleged stamina, felt tired with the whole thing sometimes. Today, for some reason, especially. She met eyes with Rebecca briefly, unsure how much she still understood, how she might feel, or judge her. “So…” she said quietly. “How’s it going with you?”

Rebecca quieted as she listened to Morgan. None of it was truly good news, but she supposed she should’ve expected an answer like that. She didn’t have much to say about it, either. She wished she did, but all her words were just words. They would provide no comfort. “Trying is all you can do right now,” she said finally, “and that’s good enough.” She paused another moment before turning down another aisle and picking through the books there. “Well,” she sighed, “I found out that my dead wife is a ghost, and she’s been living with Blanche. And she’s mad at me for like the millionth time since I found out, because I’m not good enough at asking for help and don’t want to put the only other exorcist in town aside from the grumpy old groundskeeper in danger of dying.” She tossed a book lamely into the cart. “I think I’ve been subconsciously astral projecting into a different plane while the Dybbuk is in control and I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. And I’m too afraid to try and perform an exorcism again because I’m pretty sure he can tap into my power.” She turned, then, to face Morgan. “So...you know.”

“I ate a person’s brain,” Morgan burst out. She hadn’t expected Rebecca to lay that many cards out on the table so frankly, she suddenly felt guilty for holding back. “He was already dead. And I kind of liked it, and kind of didn’t but not because eating-humans-bad. Also, I’m...maybe coming out of a really, really danger-bad low. But, um, with that all out there--” She reached for the first book that had something useful sounding in the title (Secondary Theory of Astral Universe Epistemology) “Your dead wife is here? The love of your life dead wife? And you’re fighting? Or you and Blanche are fighting? Are--” You okay? They were kneejerk response words, what every helpless person said. And it wasn’t even what they meant. They wanted to know how bad the damage was. What was the proximity between where they were, ‘okay,’ and ‘natural disaster.’ “How are you even dealing with all that. Are you...is she different? Are you different? With everything that’s happened to you?”

“Did it taste good?” was the first thing Rebecca asked. She understood how zombies operated, just as she did vampires, although zombies had a much more sustainable way of life, if lived cautiously. Theodora was mostly a vampire hunter, though zombies caused quite a ruckus as well. “As long as you didn’t kill the person for the brain, I don’t quite see the harm. Did you assume part of the person’s personality? I heard that’s a thing that may happen.” She shuffled aimlessly for a moment, before deciding she’d need to sit for the rest of this conversation, and circled back towards the table. “She’s a ghost. So I can’t even see her. Sometimes I still think I’m just making it up, but then she messaged me on a fucking computer and I can’t help but remember she’s here. I’m not fighting with Blanche, no.” She sank into a chair and fetched a book. “I’m not dealing well, if that’s what you’re asking. Of course we’re different-- she died and I was alone and possessed for two years. She notices that I can’t call her lover anymore and it hurts, but also knowing that I’m going to have to lose her all over again hurts me. I never know what to say to her. I can’t give her reassurances like I used to, tell her it’s all going to be alright, if we just believe. Because it’s not, and it won’t be.” Sighing, she opened the book. “But it’s not a contest, Morgan. And I’m sorry you’re still suffering.”

“Wow. That’s...weirdly chill of you. You’re like the third person to normalize this for me. I thought you’d think it was a bigger deal. And I did, become a little like him, that’s the only part I didn’t like, but we don’t have to...go there, if you, well...” Had more than enough to worry about already. But rather than wrestle with that confusion, Morgan pulled up a chair and sat near Rebecca, gripping the edge of her seat for lack of a better idea. “Look, with the not being able to talk like you used to, sometimes it’s just like that when you’re adjusting to being something else. I know you’re still technically you, but knowing Mike’s around probably makes everything feel different. And your wife, she’s a ghost. I can’t even imagine how much worse that would be than being a zombie. These are things that words don’t reach, and there’s words you can’t get to, even though they might be true. Sometimes it takes a lot of time, more than a few weeks. I couldn’t tell Deirdre I loved her for a while, after I came back. And what we’re going through is so different, we were only apart for a little while. But being honest helps. Even if it hurts.” She sat back, holding herself as she settled in. “Yeah, sure,” she muttered. “Me too.” She wanted to help Rebecca, she wanted to be here, but something about Rebecca’s apologies still stung her bitterly.

“You’re a zombie now, Morgan,” Rebecca answered smoothly, a bit of her weariness in her voice. Perhaps years ago she would’ve been appalled, but the years had worn her down, and her losses had jaded her. “It’s just what you do. My spirituality doesn’t cling to the body, it savors the soul. As long as you’re not killing people for their brains, then I see no harm in it.” She tried her best to focus on the book, but the conversation had a hand up on her attention, so she simply closed it and looked across the table at Morgan. She was stiff and avoiding Rebecca’s gaze and her apology. Rebecca sighed. “Death is death. The hardest part is not being able to see her, I suppose. It feels wholly unfair that she can see me and know me, but I don’t get that in return. In all honesty, I wish she weren’t here, and she knows that, but it doesn’t help,” she muttered, quiet suddenly, as her heart grew heavy, “nothing helps.” An admittedly low point for her, caving in front of someone. The only person she’d ever truly been vulnerable with had been Theo, and her heart ached to be that way with her again.

“She doesn’t have a body, Rebecca, she doesn’t get to know you like she wants to,” Morgan sighed. “I’ve wound up on the floor over not being able to recognize or feel a touch. Not feeling anything at all is...I don’t even want to think about it. And looking at you while you can’t see her, probably also not fun.Not that it isn’t terrible for you, I mean--one half of you being screwed is bad, but you’re both hurting. You’re both in the pit.” She looked over at Rebecca, struck by just how tired, how done she looked. It was all too painfully familiar and she hated it. Why should she help in the first place? Why should she bother? Rebecca had bailed, and it was supposed to be okay because she cared. Not enough to help her, not enough to keep her alive, but sure, she cared. But stars, Rebecca’s hurt was so awful to see. Morgan’s insides twisted bitterly, but she didn’t think she could make it worse on purpose. “Sometimes things are just awful,” she said quietly. “And you have to keep pushing until you get used to the weight. And maybe pushing doesn’t look like much to other people, or it means Theo doesn’t get what she wants sometimes. If she loves you, it won’t really matter in the end. You grab onto whatever reason you can, however small or stupid, and you just...you go, even when you’re tired. And I know, Becca,” her voice turned soft and heavy. “I know how tired you must be. It’s the most exhausting thing there is.”

Morgan was right and Rebecca resented that a little bit. She was supposed to be the one giving sagely advice on how to deal with whatever life threw at you, but at some point, she supposed, everyone grew tired. She’d been strong for so long, the burden of that weight was heavier now than ever before. It had always been easier to carry with Theo next to her, but now, it almost felt worse. How easy would life be if she could just let go. But she’d promised he would not win, and she’d promised she’d live to fifty, and she promised she’d fight. And so, Morgan was right. “When’d you get so wise?” she said after a moment, sitting up a little straighter, a little less weary. “But I suppose you’re right. The only thing to do is just...keep moving forward, isn’t it? Because we can’t take the other option,” she said simply, as if it were a fact. She was well aware that they’d probably both thought of it, but would never admit it, even if the sentence itself was an admission. Her eyes, cool and blue, met Morgan’s. “I am sorry, you know,” she muttered quietly, as if the softness of her voice could finally make Morgan believe her. “For everything.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t take a beat now and then. Or that you’re not allowed to say it hurts. You’re always allowed to say it hurts,” Morgan said, digging her fists into her skirt, trying to reign herself in. She felt like she was opening a raw nerve. Even the silence, even the confidence of Rebecca picking herself back up again made it snap with pain. “The undead don’t sleep. Gives you a lot of time to think. Or go off the deep end.” She stiffened, shrinking in her seat as Rebecca leveled that soft look at compassion at her. That look that she had believed in, that had turned out to be not as true as she’d wanted. She pursed her lips thin in a vain effort to keep them from trembling. “Don’t,” she said. “You’re not, not really, so--what’s the point? Constance killed me while I was getting ice cream. Maybe it gave her enough of a good time that she crossed over happy. You don’t have to worry about me anymore,” she shrugged, stiff and looked away as her thin reserve began to cave.

Rebecca’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t think I’m sorry that you died?” she said, suddenly a chill in her voice. “You think I don’t blame myself, even a little? Even if I think he’s lying about what he did or didn’t do?” she leaned back in her chair, folded her arms over her chest. “I know we don’t truly know each other that well, but what ridiculous stories have you made up in your unsleeping nights to convince yourself that someone would want this for you, Morgan?” she snapped. She was tired, so tired, of all of this. “I am not the thing inside of me. I would have done whatever I could to have helped you. To have tried to save you. My fault was in thinking I could do that without help of my own, I know that now. That’s what I’m sorry for. And I’m sorry for your death. I grew up around death, I steeped myself in it when I left home. Do you think I don’t mourn every soul I pass on? Every spirit I see? Every life ended short, every undead, every grave? What do you think being connected to souls means, exactly, Morgan? Please, tell me, I’d love to hear your thoughts.”

“I didn’t say you were him!” Morgan snapped, suddenly too upset to mind she was crying. “But you--I asked you, I told you what it would take and I asked you, and, wouldn't you know, it was too much. Again! It always turned out to be the one thing no one wanted to do, no matter what stupid idea I was trying. Everyone feels bad and wants to help, until I actually need something. And then you disappeared, so I guess that was the story of my whole life! What else was I supposed to think? The last thing you said to me was no! Maybe you’re sad for me like you are for everyone else, just one more sad person, but I don’t want that, I don’t need that! I wanted you to try and help me anyway!” The way the words hurt on the way out, Morgan knew they were true. She scrubbed the back of her hand over her eyes. She was past saving face but she couldn’t help but try. “I wanted you to try something, anything, even if it was hard! It’s not like I wasn’t aware that everything about me gets hard if you stick around long enough. I knew. Curse and all. It always got too hard, and too much, no matter who I asked. It was too much for me too, but I didn’t have a choice to bail or not! I just wanted it to be different this time.” She took a gasping breath, struggling to clear the sobs in her throat without letting them out, her voice cording tight as she whispered “How am I supposed to know you would’ve done any different? It’s over; what am I supposed to learn from that?”

Rebecca listened. And waited. She understood, somewhere, why Morgan would feel the way she did. Perhaps the way she’d grown up, always looking over her shoulder, losing friend after friend, town after town, person after person. Perhaps it had been something drilled into her by a mother trying to protect her only to be the true cause of her pain. Or perhaps it was simply her subconscious, trying to save her from another painful realization. Whatever it was, Rebecca simply listened as Morgan belted it out. It was the least she could do. When she was done, Rebecca sat forward, hands neatly crossed in her lap, and said, “Are you quite finished?” in that tone Theodora often used for her during her rants. It always seemed to work. She waited a moment longer, her eyes never leaving Morgan’s face. “I am sorry,” she said evenly, “but I will not compromise my morals for you, Morgan. This is how I feel and what I would have told you even without this thing inside of me, tearing my soul apart slowly.” She drew in a breath, still in that chilling way mother’s sat when you came home past curfew. “I did not say no because it was hard, or because you were too much. And I didn’t even say no to you. I said no to an idea. You are a grown woman, Morgan, and whatever misgivings your past has left you with, it’s up to you to parse out what people say and what people mean. If you truly thought that I did not want to help you, you would not be here now. I would not be here now. You’re not supposed to know, you’re supposed to ask. And you’re supposed to believe.” She stood up, then, and made her way around the table, slowly, watching Morgan struggle with her sobs. She stood next to her, crouched down, looked her square in the eyes. “I would have given my life if it meant helping you, Morgan, but I will not give my soul and I will not give my morals. They are the only things I have left. Surely you can understand that much.”

Morgan deflated, chastised into a fit of choked hiccups as she struggled, hand clamped over her mouth, for composure. She scrunched up in her seat like a guilty child, eyes screwed shut until she heard Rebecca come closer. It was awful, and unfair--so unfair that her hopes should have rested on someone who had lost so much too, who couldn’t afford to give up the last thing she had left in the world. What kind of fucked up universe pitted them against each other like that? What bullshit balance put Mike inside Rebecca’s body, just to topple everything over for Morgan, for both of them. She nodded, leaning into Rebecca until her head came to rest on her shoulder. “It’s not fair,” she sniffled, shoulders shaking as she spoke. “I hate this, I hate how it’s all so unfair.” Sniffled again. “That sounds stupid, I know it does,” she tried to breathe through the knot in her chest, and sobbed anyway, laughing at the absurdity of a zombie trying to solve anything by breathing. “And I don’t mean you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I needed you, and you had your evil ghost, and everything was so awful and fucked...it’s just been hard. It’s not your fault I couldn’t catch a fucking break from my stupid curse and the stupid universe shakes out like this for me.” She pulled away, wiping her face again. “I’m sorry. That you hurt like I do, or anything close. That’s why I came. Just so you know.”

Rebecca let out a long breath when Morgan laid her head on her shoulder, wrapping an arm around her, patting her back gently. “I know,” was all she said. Because for all the words she was always able to find, there were no words in any language, that could make what was happening to either of them fair or okay. “I wouldn’t say stupid, no,” she mumbled, laying her head on top of Morgan’s as she searched the shelves, wondering if they could tell her how to undo the unfairness of the universe. “But it only wins if we back down in the face of it, this unfairness. Which is unfair in itself, but, I suppose...that’s just the lot we were dealt,” she went on, looking back down at the table when the books provided no answers. “Misery loves company after all, doesn’t it?” She sighed again. “Perhaps it’s just nice to know we’re not alone.”

Morgan shifted closer to Rebecca as she brought her head to rest on hers. “It’s still the fucking worst,” she mumbled. “I mean, I was cursed, but what did you ever do? What did any of us do, you know?” She let go of her arms and leaned in, muttering, “You can tell me if I’m too cold,” as she scanned the shelves around them. So many words, so much work, and not a single page that could crack why they had to suffer this way. With her curse gone, she was supposed to have an easier time, but even this new body, this new life scraped and stitched together ramshackle style from the bones of the old one felt just as hard. Different kind of hard, but still. When the quiet had stretched out long enough not to hurt anymore she said, “You’re not. Alone, I mean. I get it, how you can’t stop even when you sort of want to. How even having something you want can still hurt. And I’ll help make sure you’re okay. If there’s a way for that to happen. I seriously don’t recommend the zombie escape hatch. It’s not much of a party. So...whatever I’m still good for, let me know. I’ll do it.”

“When I was younger, I thought I might be cursed,” Rebecca said softly, giving a sigh. “I didn’t even know magic existed, but what kind of a world would leave a child with grandparents who hated her? Who put locks on doors and bars on the windows. But I figured out, pretty quickly, that it’s not the universe that curses us,” she adjusted slightly, sighing, “it’s people. And places. And those things? Those things we can beat. Eventually. No matter how unfair.” At least, she hoped. As she cast another glance at the shelves, she decided in that moment that they had to be true. Otherwise, what was there left to believe in? “I know, Morgan,” she responded quietly, “I know I’m not. And neither are you. And, you know, we’ll make it through. Somehow. But we will.” She looked at the stack of books on the table, and although they were nothing compared to the shelves around them, they still somehow felt insurmountable. Rebecca let out a long breath. “We’ll be okay.”

[permian-tropos]

In response to the "fic you wish I'd write" post: Snoke backstory, main characters Rae Sloane & Gallius Rax (they meet him and all interact somehow. Snoke is more than a creepy old raisin. Rae worries that they're in over their heads...)

And I wish I had a more detailed Snoke backstory at this point.

I know I used to be really interested in him, but it was really interest in a character like him, and the way he’s defeated in TLJ makes me want to give him a different sort of role in the story. I’m not sure if I want him to be an ancient evil awakened in the Unknown Regions or a plutocrat who learned the Force but isn’t only powerful for his Force ability, he’s also secretly the CEO of big space oil or something. It depends on what story I’d tell.

Anyway here’s a loose rambling fic description

-

In this version of things, Rax is neither alive nor dead because his soul is trapped in the holocron he tossed into the Jakku borehole. Jakku spat that thing out when it stopped having its planetary indigestion. The lingering wisps of life energy emanating from the core of the planet stole the last breath from Rax’s body and sucked it into this new vessel.

Rax doesn’t find his existence as a cursed object too different from his old life, where he mostly lurked behind the scenes and played with people’s desires and instincts so they’d enact the dramatic scenes he wanted to see. He entices a stray stormtrooper to the Observatory to get himself picked up off the floor, and lures a junk trader to fight this trooper over the beautiful glowing red artifact, and so on, until he’s traveling into the Unknown Regions on the desk of a particularly boorish Imperial captain who wants a piece of the Sith legacy as a trophy.

Holocron Rax has vague aims, he wants some sort of body and he wants to find her again, his equal, his rival, his fellow outcast. He isn’t sure he wants to rule. He lost that game. Time to play a new one.

Sloane finds out Rax is back, but she knows he’s back before her knowledge, as philosophers might say, is both true and justified. She guesses, on instinct, because of the fingerprint he seems to leave on the cosmos.

Leading the Order has been bitterly oppressive, she’s sure everyone hates her, she first thinks it’s because they blame her for Rax’s constant betrayals of the remaining fleet, but it’s not that at all. They seem to hate her because they think she’s overstepping her station, that she’s high-minded and looks down on everyone else, but she knows it’s a double standard because they look down on everyone else too (including her).

And she tries over and over to prove that she’s strong and capable and dutiful. But she never got along with the upper echelons of Imperial command. She always pissed them off with her high-mindedness, too self-motivated, too determined, not groveling at their feet enough, and she’s been burning with humiliation from that -- and, in fact, a sick desire to please someone for once, they’re never happy with her, maybe that’s why she fell for Rax for so much longer than she should have; for a time he seemed to be endlessly pleased by her, even when he knew she was plotting against him. I’ll be good this time, she keeps promising herself, but how is this good? Why do they get to tell her what good means when they’re sneering at her for being merciful or patient?

And it makes her want to be cruel and ruthless. And she is. Just to impress them, she realizes. They’re never impressed.

And she runs away, but not all at once. Bits of her run away where they can.

Sometimes she makes fake identities and takes a few days off to visit planets that wouldn’t be happy to see her if they knew who she was. Sometimes she spends hours playing games for cadets against a computer and when her good sense returns she erases the evidence of this foolishness. Sometimes she runs by staying asleep and dreaming. Sometimes she runs away to research, losing herself in narratives of ancient history.

Anxiously, at her lowest, most depressed point, she visits the Imperialis and finds opera. Watching the holotapes is an exercise in self-flagellation, because of how tense they make her. She never even sits down, because that would make her feel vulnerable to attack from the shadows in the private theater hall. But it wakes her up, because it feels like a fight, and fighting these imaginary demons is easier than putting up with the constant scorn of her supposed colleagues. She sometimes pauses the recordings just to pace.

So this is where they both are when they meet each other again. Sloane hears about a Curséd Artefact that’s been causing a miasma of strange behavior aboard a ship, and that strange behavior includes hearing strains of faint music as if carried on the wind (and there’s no wind in pressurized starship corridors), and that’s when she knows-but-doesn’t-know it’s Rax. He’s being dramatic again.

It’s such a perverse relief to lay her hands on that red crystalline pyramid. It is definitely accursed, though; it hums with evil energies (or maybe it’s buzzing with pleasure at her touch).

Sloane promises herself she won’t fall prey to the Wiles again. She keeps the holocron locked in a vault but the ghost tiptoes up through the ship to visit her dreams.

The place where they meet is an enormous astral chessboard. (Sloane calls it chess, Rax calls it shah-tezh). Fine sand is strewn in patches across its huge carved tiles, as if someone has cracked their turn-counting hourglass over it like an egg. Sloane can’t see the edge of the board, but she sees scattered ruins marring the smooth plane. If the board was the tiled floor of a temple as big perhaps as the entire Imperial Palace, the ruins could be what’s left when it collapsed and eroded.

Neither of them have particularly ornate clothing. They’re both dressed up as what Sloane recognizes to be the Outcast piece, her in white rags, him in black.

He’s very cryptic and avoidant, but this time, Sloane sees through it at last. He hasn’t got a plan for her, he just wants to talk. At the same time she realizes she wants to use him to maintain her power. He’s something special that no one else has access to — and she might be jealous if that turned out not to be true. She’s troubled by these dark temptations, and tries to distance herself from them.

Rax discovers, as dream Sloane is not as good at hiding feelings, that Sloane has fallen into a deep depression.

It’s very uncomfortable to consider because he would have to admit she’s weak enough to be inferior, according to what Palpatine taught him. He rationally considers if this is the case, if she’s too much like him to be worthy, but his gut feeling is that he can’t dislike her, so he wants to consider other options first. He starts to find evidence for her being psychically attacked by a powerful entity in the Unknown Regions who is trying to usurp her.

Sloane is skeptical but when Rax gets her looking for patterns, she sees them everywhere too, they begin to seem inescapably real. Her dreams of this chessboard become a dream of a game played against a mysterious opponent. Rax becomes her ally and fellow strategist.

And then, what you might expect happens: Snoke manifests. He reminds Sloane a lot of Rax, but more hideous and openly contemptuous. Sometimes, Sloane is energized by knowing her emotional state is caused by a real enemy. Sometimes, it makes her feel less in control.

Snoke announces that the Order will belong to him soon.

Holocron Rax eventually gets a corporeal body in the form of a reprogrammed Sentinel droid, the ones with Palpatine’s face for holograms but of course, replaced with Rax. It’s a secret project that Sloane is willing to undertake once the threat of Snoke seems close at hand.

And does it turn out that Snoke is a being that becomes more real the more he is believed in? Maybe, but maybe not. After all, depression is real whether you believe in it or not, and so is a structural problem in your society. Maybe it would be interesting if it turned out Snokestuff was real, emanating from the Dark Side, and is copying Sloane’s underlying problems and using them as a template. Snoke comes across like an amalgam of everyone Sloane has been trying to impress, all the smug rich old white men.

She finally confronts Rax about this. She doesn’t want his admiration. She doesn’t think anything she’s done is admirable. She wants to fail in his eyes, because at least that’s honest. Snoke targeted her because she was on the verge of breaking down anyway.

And Rax? Has to face facts about whether he cares about Sloane as a great figure of history or just as a friend.

They’re both left to wonder what makes a possible friendship or love between them meaningful if they’re not part of a grand triumphant narrative. In the end, close interpersonal connection turns out to be more mundane than they realized, and the mundanity of it is what matters.

[chriskaabye]

It Goes Bump in the Night

Part 1 of 2

Summary: Strange noises come from something unknown in Peter’s bedroom, and as the nights pass by, Peter is more and more agitated. Then one night, Tony is there to help him face whatever is there.

#2 of  @well-im-whumped ‘s prompts: “You’re doing great, don’t look at it.”

Characters: Irondad & Spiderson. Genre: Hurt/Comfort. Mild supernatural horror. Word Count: 3,300

Thursday Night

In Peter’s dream, he’s waiting for a train at a subway station. It’s dim; very few lights are on. Someone’s woolly scarf has fallen by his feet. As Peter bends to pick it up, slight tremors go through his neck and into his core. This is his spider-sense warning him about something.

The feeling is so real in his dream that he wakes up. Within a second, Peter registers that he has been dreaming and that he’s lying in his bed on the lower bunk. He casts the sheets right off himself, ready to defend against whoever or whatever’s near.

He scans every edge of his darkened room, but there’s nothing strange. He pulls himself onto his feet and checks the top bunk. All there is, is his mountain of laundry. He turns to his door, wanting to make sure May is fine, but on his third step, he feels completely normal again.

Peter waits, in case the sensation returns. He checks his closet, peaks down the hall, looks into his aunt’s room where she’s sleeping soundly, and finds that all he there is to do now, is to get back under his sheets. He can’t feel the threatening presence anymore. Maybe it all had to do with his dream.

As he falls asleep, he keeps wondering what set him off, but comes to no conclusion.

* * *

Friday Night

Peter’s senses jolt him awake again. He reacts as he did the previous night by throwing his sheets off and peering into every corner of his room and checking the window.

He starts to shift off his bed when, underneath him, below the mattress, below the frame, there’s a bumping sound. Something jostles against a box of school supplies he has down there.

If this was an animal, Peter wouldn’t be feeling the way it does. There’s real danger below.

Quickly, Peter grabs a webshooter off his nightstand, fits it over his wrist, and lowers himself to the floor. On his hands and knees, he faces the space between the floor and his bed, and says into the dark, “Whatever you are, get out of here. Don’t bother putting up a fight.”

Peter’s met with silence. He’s still on edge, which turns the silence in his ears into static. Despite the lack of movement, Peter stays alert. Without making a sound himself, he reaches for his lamp, and turns it on.

There’s two quick, heavy thumps against the floor, then a cardboard box shifts. Peter extends his arm straight out, ready for the reveal.

“I said get out of here,” Peter says, grateful his voice isn’t giving away his nervousness.

A single, loud thud comes from the far corner of his bed. Peter feels the vibration through the floor.

Peter’s impatient, so he grabs a box and pulls it out from under his bed. He clears out one more, which is closest to the corner. With his webshooter at the ready, he takes a thorough look at the space.

As he does, the back of his neck relaxes. It’s gone, whatever was in his bedroom. Peter puts the boxes back in their place but this time pushes them deeper. He takes the laundry and a few of his other belongings, and stuffs them under the bed as well. Next time, there would be no place for the presence to hide.

What could it even be? Peter thinks about it as he settles himself back down. The world has so many possibilities. Much of them are big, and others are small, perfect to fit under his bed. Was it someone like Ant-Man trying to invade his space? For what reason? Or was this some other type of being he’s never encountered?

The questions keep him up well into the night. Once he finds some calm, he decides to sleep, but keeps the light on. If the unknown being returns, he wouldn’t have to fumble in the dark first.

* * *

Peter wakes a little while after sunrise. It’s easy to open his eyes. Too easy. There’s no sting from the light.

That’s because the only light in his room comes from the window.

* * *

Saturday Night

Peter spends the late afternoon and evening at the Avengers facility. Most weekends, Tony lets him have free reign over one of the small labs, where he can work on a few experiments. Being at the compound has helped him take his mind off the morning. He’s done his research online, digging for encounters similar to his. There are plenty out there, mostly about ghosts, then about strange creatures that people claim to have witnessed. However, nothing offers an explanation as to why they’re around, or how to deal with them.

Peter has dinner in the common room. Tony’s there too, leaning back in an armchair and reading a report of some kind that’s an inch thick. They’ve gone quiet after Peter explained how his projects are coming along. Usually, he goes through every detail with Tony, except there’s another topic on his mind.

Peter fiddles with his fork as he thinks about how to breach the subject. “Tony, I’ve got a question for you,” Peter says.

“Forty-two, that’s the answer,” Tony says, without glancing up from his report.

“Huh?”

“The number forty-two, you get it?” Tony says, then upon seeing the blank look on Peter’s face, adds, “You know, I thought you were better at pop culture references. Nevermind. What’s up?”

Peter tries not to look too serious about the question by slouching on the couch. “Just thinking about random stuff…” he begins. “Ever wonder what other weird things could be out there? Like… based off what we’ve seen, aliens exist. Raccoons can talk. Astral projection can be done… So at this point, is there a hard line for you, between what’s possible and what isn’t?”

“It’d be really hard to shock me at this point, so I guess not.”

Peter nods, and digs his fork into his plate of spaghetti. “How about monsters? Do you believe in them?”

“Well, Happy exists so that’s proof,” Tony says, winking. In the next moment, he’s serious, mulling the question over. “Monsters? As in Bigfoot? Is that what you mean?”

“Basically, yeah.”

“Hmm, if there’s any, they’re deep in the ocean and tiny.”

The real point of his question was to see if he could tell Tony about what’s he’s been sensing in his room without getting side-eyed by him. The answer Tony’s just given him isn’t one he’s wholly assured by. He presses on with his other question.

“What about ghosts?” Again, Peter asks nonchalantly, slipping a forkful of noodles into his mouth, as though he were more interested in eating right now.

“Ghost? Oh, ninety-nine percent B.S.”

“Okay, so… you generally don’t believe in them, but still believe a little bit.”

“Yep, just a little. Like you said – with everything we’ve seen, it’s hard to rule out everything,” Tony says matter-of-factly. “How about you? Do you believe?”

Peter pauses to contemplate the past two nights. “I don’t know,” he says.

That’s really how he feels. He’s not lying to Tony to make himself seem as sensible as he is. Even with some doubt in him about ghosts, he’s not feeling up to sleeping in his own bedroom, so that tells him he’s not much of a skeptic. The fact that his spider sense goes haywire is what disturbs him most, what makes him think the presence in his bedroom is more dangerous than the usual threats being a superhero attracts.

So before he finishes his supper, he asks, “Is there a room for me here tonight?”

“There always is,” Tony says.

“Are you staying the night as well?”

Peter hopes yes. He feels like a child for it, but that’s how much he wants to feel safe. Tony being nearby will help that.

“I am,” Tony says, and Peter’s relieved.

Thanks for reading! Part 2 will be posted on Tumblr in the next few days, though has already been posted at wattpad.com/701565903 

Link is also on my main page @chriskaabye.

[thestarseedvisionary]

Get To Know Me: Mystical Version 👽 🔮

I decided to type up a little questionnaire so you guys can get to know me better and then we can tag and pass this around for others to do so we can get to know each other and connect more! ♡ This questionnaire is for Starseeds, Lightworkers, Witches and any other mystical folk 🌙🌟

1. How did you discover that you are a Starseed/Lightworker/Mystical soul?

For basically all of my life, I was interested in the stars, far reaches of space, aliens & UFOs, obsessed really. I always had a spiritual aspect to myself as well, but it wasn't something I understood very much. I got on Tumblr and found a large community of alien/UFO enthusiasts and felt comfortable enough to make my first alien/UFO blog. One day I came across the concept of starseeds and everything clicked for me. I finallllyyyy understood myself so much more! I then had a very intense spiritual awakening involving a astral projection experience in which I left my body and this dimension entirely. I've been on this ride ever since!

2. What star/elemental species do you feel connected to?

Sirians, most of all, but I also have ties in Orion, Arcturus and Lyra (Vega, specifically)

3. Do you feel like you know what your soul mission is or have inklings of what you're supposed to be doing in this life?

Not 100%, honestly. I know that I'm here to help awaken humanity and raise the collective consciousness, but in other areas, I'm so lost! But I know I have big things to do here.

4. Have you ever astral projected or had a lucid dream?

Yes, and I've had some pretty crazy experiences! All of that started after my initial spiritual awakening and it's been one of the most validating experiences of the entire thing.

5. Where do you believe we go when we die?

Back to Source, back to our home in the stars. A place so vast and peaceful that our human brains really can't fully comprehend it.

6. Do you believe you have had contact with an extraterrestrial or any other supernatural entity?

Yes. This includes Greys in my childhood and my spirit guide, Nael, now. I've also seen extraterrestrials in dreams and astral projections.

7. Do you believe in and follow astrology?

Yes, absolutely. Astrology has been one of the biggest influencing factors when it comes to my celestial spirituality. It helped me to understand myself more fully and brought all the pieces of my puzzle together.

8. Do you regularly meditate?

No, actually. I find it incredibly hard to meditate most of the time. My wandering mind is way too much for me to silence, but I do find other creative ways to meditate and find my center, like showering, painting, listening to music, etc.

9. Would you consider yourself to be an empath?

Yes, and no. I think I have more control than other empaths when it comes to switching that part of myself off. Sometimes, it's incredibly overwhelming and other times, I don't feel much at all. I don't know that I would consider myself completely empathic.

10. What are your zodiac signs?

Pisces Sun, Aquarius Moon, Libra Rising.

11. Do you believe in our ability to change and create our own reality?

Yes...and no. I do believe we have an incredible ability to manifest, but I also believe that some things in our reality are just pre-destined. I really do believe in fate.

12. Do you dabble in any divination practices?

Yes! I'm an oracle/tarot reader and I feel like that is a part of my mission on earth, to help people through divination. My Sun in Pisces really shows this, I think! On top of reading for others, I read for myself all. the. time. and it's the way I can most accurately communicate with my spirit guide, Nael.

13. What about magical practices?

I do consider myself a cosmic witch now; I used to not. But I found that I was always doing things like rituals for the moon and it's phases and other things of that sort, so I could no longer really deny that I am a cosmic witch. As a child I had been interested in witchcraft and that fell away for a while, but now it's back for me! I don't go all the way out though, mostly following the moon and the stars and harnessing that energy where I can.

14. What do you think about concepts like extra dimensions, parallel worlds, etc?

I definitely believe in extra dimensions and I'm really intrigued by quantum physics, astronomy, cosmology etc. The Universe is ridiculously expansive and infinite so I think there is a whole lot going on that we don't yet fully understand.

15. Do you believe in ghosts, spirits and demons?

Ghosts/spirits, yes. I've had a lot of different experiences with that realm of the strange and my honest thoughts about it is that a lot of it has to do with residual energy, but some instances are definitely conscious contact. I choose not to believe in demons because the belief fuels and feeds what I believe is a conscious parasite created by overwhelming negative human energy. I don't have experience with demons, nor do I want to.

16. Have you ever had sleep paralysis?

Yes! Many times, actually. I've had a range of scary to good experiences when it comes to sleep paralysis. It's not always a negative thing!

17. Have you ever had any contact with your spirit guides or guardian angels?

Yes, I know one of my spirit guides pretty well. He told me his name is Nael (not quite sure how to pronounce this even still) and he is a 6th Dimensional being from the Sirius star system. In my experience, Nael is actually an alternate dimension version of myself that aids me in my earthly life. I think of him as a separate entity but at the same time understand that he is essentially my higher self, or a version of it. Hope that makes sense!

18. Do you believe in conspiracy theories?

Yes, quite a few of them. Some of them are much too out there for me, like the flat earth theory. But I definitely believe the government knows about and hides the truth of the existence of extraterrestrials interacting with our planet. I also believe that the government has done and continues to do some pretty fucked up things. I could go on about this for days lol.

19. What triggered your spiritual awakening, or was it something always within you?

So, for me, it was a little complicated. I always had this knowing that there was more to life than what immediately met the eye. I always knew I had and was a soul and that there was something after death. But, I went through phases of atheism and trying to ignore that part of myself. I had always been obsessed with space and aliens and came to figure out in later years that I've probably been abducted by aliens. It never once occurred to me that there could be anything spiritual behind that. I was also always very interested in the afterlife. All of this culminated in one day, about 5ish years ago, when I sat down and randomly watched the documentary DMT: The Spirit Molecule. As cheesy as it sounds, this is what triggered my awakening. The blending of science, something tangible like this substance found within the human brain and nature, and the spiritual realm really opened my eyes. I had always been very scientifically minded and never could make those connections between science and spirituality. As I listened to the experiences of the people within the DMT study, tears filled my eyes. They spoke of strange and wonderful alien dimensions and communication with entities. And it was possible to say why, because of the most potent psychedelic drug known to man, and it's found in our BRAIN. While it is not 100% scientifically confirmed that DMT lies in the brain, it has been found in the brains of rodents, and I have my own theories and proof as to why I do believe it is within the human brain as well.

At the point that I watched the documentary, I had already been tiptoeing into this spiritual life. I had already come across the concept of starseeds here on Tumblr and started to wonder. Everything made complete sense to my life but I still resisted claiming the title of starseed. Hearing the truth about DMT, extra dimensions, the entities people experienced and what can only be explained as a much different afterlife than I had previously imagined, nothing else could be false in my mind. If the Universe is that expansive and multidimensional and I'm a part of it and can access those dimensions as well, I could no longer deny my reality of being a starseed.

Not too long after, I had my first real endogenous DMT experience, triggered by conscious intent. This experience occurred within deep REM sleep paralysis that I achieved by sleep deprivation. I had done a bit of research on this and heard this was a way to cause astral projection. I stayed up for a little over 24 hours and as I was falling asleep, repeated a mantra in my mind that I would have an experience during my sleep. I went to another dimension, that much I am sure of, and that is basically where this all began for me.

20. What is the biggest spiritual epiphany you have had during the time you've been awake?

For me, the biggest realization was understanding why I am the way I am. Coming to terms with the person I was meant to be and embracing that despite thinking it's weird or too out there. Not only that, but fully understanding my life and the bigger picture of it. Why things happened that way, why that person did that, and how I ended up to where I am now. And not to mention, the complete validation of all the deeply held beliefs I always had involving the strange nature of reality, and finding out it is far more fantastical than I could have imagined before. Knowing deep within my soul that my spirit will not die on this earth and will go home back to where it came from, the place I often times feel homesick for. That my loved ones and I will never be separated even after leaving our physical bodies. Realizing that I'm one with the Universe as we all are. And that we have so much good to do here. ♡

Okay, guys, your turn! I tag ANYONE who wants to do this! Tag me in the post you make and then tag all your mystical friends! Go here for the unfilled questionnaire!

[myfilesetc]

file 1st

[sleeeep 4:44 - 16:42] dreamed about a whale, suddenly appeearing in a blue water getting to the surface and hitting a marina/the bay. And a building that strangely was driving my attention, with an empty but dark spaces inside as I looked through the windows. Dreams start to repeat, I have seen similair whale-like creatures in summer, and the same evening darkness and water, but this time the blues was brighter. Nearly first of what I do after waking up is reccuring that, then I do 40 minutes of consant meditation/mind travel. With projections and creating fountains and conversations of factors, power and what is an arrow. There is a mind I can find a doors too, a path of grass leads me there. I can hug these doors because I know who is behind them. Constantly encouraging me to push the handle but I kind of like seeing this from a perspective of a wall. o|o Nice does nothing to me, it's not what I seek for but is from the outside world in which I well surprisingly coexist. More of after I go through that doorsys I see it's a different dinfinitly surreal world. Where I can create anything I want what is not reachable from reality. Water globes, hanged in the air, clouds are the clock that measures time passed, time is slow. The atmosphere that see-through patterened floors and all the rest that Eis whispers gives me in that moment makes me nostalgic to the bone. It's the world of sounds but there are no sources of it nor things that could make a sound, different than  a waze that would be tourling from right to left on the marble floor sweeped down from a turret announcing a thunder. I imagine that world having spheres, as above things move, but the world close to the surface is dreamy still. I project a shore there, somewhere on the left of a ladscape (made of white matter), a wavecrasher, to give an exit for a pressure that arises, when I refuse to test tools and ask for time and excitement it causes. I created something uniqe that only can be stored in one memory. Eis is the keeper and by that we getting somewhere, it's his. Imagine between two people all of the memories they have, there are ones that You keep that Your uniqe self marked as wanted, the ones that Your partner adored and posses and the third one, ones You share. The masses of water cover gray stones (I really ignore the details) and takes itself back away to the depths, I am near to dive but Eis gives me a hand and says "don't, stay". I guess he has something to talk about. I could go silent and further for another couple hours. But the time we have is limited, it's one unit of it. When I was still on my way I was observing those clouds carried on wind and put on a intention, to find myself back in sense of time. But It's not going back. I passed that point and could only relay on his patience and that skill of his to form a non verbal command that could make my mind obey. I think I explained some of a star sign differences what it really is for peoples mind based on what he presented. I went kind of deep. If the water signs from beggingin of the year have subtle, wave like energy and their worlds similiar to undermatter, it probably was causing all the following effects in the personality and character. It's way different from end of the year, ground Earth zodiac creatures, their world I knew more about, strongly material, strongly from a perspective of a observer, with unability to see beyond the edge what can give them that realisitc touch, may have also have influence of their weak ability to distinguish reality from beyond-worlds. Not in like water signs, their world was so surreal that it was coming will full awarness that what exist here is here and what they can travel with their astral spirit is not possible in reality. For me Saggitarius mystic creature connecting distances together was easy, point arrow, done, the track is made, no mapping in my world, only surrounding of any place I am in and 6th sense, intuition. What I am planning to describe further may have correlation to the thought about star signs and time of a year to be born, but may also be influenced by my personal experiences. As getting older fills up your head with many things and it's unavoidable, it's a process we aren't aware of until we know somwhere after a life quarter. So that what me and Ein silently discussed...the time was coming to end end so I reqused some time alone to with a magic technique of cumulating energy and sending it called mudras. So I designed one the other day, may exist already but I would hae to check. And surprisingly I cannot repeat it becuase I was only able to do it one day of Saturday morning when I was observing sun. Sun in a unknown before shape. My fingers too. I did one the closest to the Sun one and was slowly integrating what happened above with my map of my town, (posypac czyms) my surface, integrating worlds with no assurance of what effect it can bring but one that my intention were right.

[calliopesquill]

A Year in the Life - Chapter 1

Cross-posted on AO3.

It’s been almost two years since Miguel’s adventure in the Land of the Dead. Music has been returned to the Rivera family and everything is going great. But why does Miguel keep dreaming about the bridge? And why is this strange tourist asking him about astral projection?

Nell is a graphic novel artist who has come to Santa Cecilia in search of inspiration. What she finds is a strange boy with a marigold glow and strange abilities that he is only starting to realize.

When an old grudge rears its head and Miguel is stolen back across the marigold bridge it is up to Nell and the Rivera clan to bring him back before it’s too late.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Year in the Life

Chapter 1: New Arrival

Santa Cecilia was a postcard.

That was Nell’s first thought as the cab wound its way through the small town. With its colorful buildings and half-paved streets, it could have belonged in any decade at all from the last hundred and fifty years, with only a few hints of modernity. This was a place that moved at its own pace, that respected tradition as much as convenience.

This was exactly the atmosphere Nell was looking for, the perfect setting for her next novel. Well, graphic novel. With a mini-series, a stand-alone graphic novel, and a recently-complete web-series under her belt, Nell was more than eager to start her next project.

There was a kind of familial nostalgia that brought her to Mexico from her home in western Canada. Her great-grandparents had emigrated north at the turn of the century to settle in Montana. Their own children had continued the journey, living a couple of years in Vancouver before eventually settling in Kelowna. Though the small village that her ancestors had once called home no longer existed, Nell could feel the spirit of them here and hoped that the months she planned to spend in Santa Cecilia would help her reconnect with her roots as well as provide the inspiration she needed for her upcoming book.

She had the look of her grandmother when she was young, with soft brown skin and thick chestnut-colored hair. She’d gotten the color from her mom’s side, but the unruly waves of it definitely came from her dad. Most of the time she kept it tied back with some thick ribbon or in a braid of some kind, just to keep it out of her face. The light scattering of freckles that dotted her face came from his side as well. She dressed for comfort as much as style in a pair of cropped blue floral-print leggings and a white sleeveless tunic with crocheted lace insets. The sky-blue sweater she had worn for warmth on the plane was tucked away in her purse, unneeded in the heat of the late-afternoon sun.

Her fingers itched for her pencil as the taxi’s route took them through the town square, her toe tapping to the beat of the song that played through the crackling radio. The driver turned left down a street marked with a shoe, reaching to turn the music down as he did so.

Nell shifted in her seat, moving to gather her purse and carry-on, thinking they might be close, but the driver turned down another street and turned the volume back up again. His passenger gave him a strange look as she released her purse strap. What was that about?

The driver must have caught a glimpse of her expression in the rear-view mirror as he gave a casual shrug. “Better safe than sorry.”

“Pardon?”

The man shuddered and said something about “la chancela”. Whatever that meant.

Nell’s spanish was passable, the result of a few solid months of binge-studying and review with her mother’s parents. Slang, however, was something she still struggled with. She was pretty sure that a “chancela” was a sandal, but why would someone be afraid of a shoe?

The cab slowed to a stop in front of a three-story building painted a cheerful orange. Nell checked the address on her phone against the map she’d been following and smiled. She was finally here.

Nell stepped out of the car as the driver moved to the trunk to retrieve her butterfly-printed suitcase. She’d packed lightly for this leg of the trip, taking only one piece of luggage with her on the plane. The old steamer trunk that carried the rest of her things she’d shipped off a few days ago, and would be arriving later in the week.

She paid the driver, then moved to knock on the front door, trading the sunglasses that she was wearing for the regular prescription glasses that she had stashed in the case in her purse.

The woman who answered it barely came up to Nell’s chin. She was slight, almost birdlike, the image only enhanced by the bright peacock blue of her day dress. Her dark hair was streaked with grey, tied back in a loose tail.

“Siñora Montero?” Nell asked.

“Si!” The woman smiled. “Ah, you are Penelope, yes? Bienvenedo! Please, come in.”

Nell tried not to flinch at the use of her full name. “Ah, gracias. And please, call me Nell.” Only her grandparents called her Penelope. Growing up everyone else had called her “Penny”, but she decided to start going by “Nell” once she started university. But Siñora Montero had refused to call her anything but her full name since seeing her identification early on in their correspondence.

Her landlady continued to chatter cheerfully as she led her inside. “I see you made good time on your flight. My son, he lives in Mexico City, and he flies all over for work. I do not like planes. I would much rather keep my feet on the ground. Come, I will show you to your room.”

“Thank you, Siñora.”

Her landlady waved her off. “No no no. None of this formality. You will call me Tia, or Tia Caro. We are family while you stay with us.”

“Oh, um…. Okay. Gracias, Tia.”

The apartment she would be renting for the next few months was on the second floor. It was more like a bachelor’s suite, with the bedroom and living room sharing the central space, and a small kitchenette off to one side with a stove and a sink and a small refrigerator. If she needed any more space, Tia Caro told her, she was free to use the main kitchen on the ground floor. Oh, and she hoped that Nell would join them for dinner, as the tenants all ate dinner together most nights.

The furnishings were simple, with a wood-framed couch set against the end of the double bed in the center of the room, a couple of end tables, and a kitchen table with two chairs off to the side. The walls were painted bright white, contrasting with the muted orange of the floor tiles. A pair of hand-knotted rugs framed the bed, a third spread under the coffee table in front of the couch. The windows, Nell was told, could be opened, but did not have a screen. She should make sure that they were locked overnight, or if she was going out for the day.

“Ah, but you are tired after your long trip. I will leave you to settle in and you will join us for dinner tonight, si?”

‘Tired’ was a bit of an understatement. Flying was approximately equivalent to the seventh circle of Hell to someone like Nell, who was prone to debilitating motion sickness. The Gravol that she’d dosed herself with that morning had become her best friend by the end of the day, allowing her to sleep through most of the flight.

“Ah, si. Gracias, Tia Caro.”

“Ah, de nada!” Caro smiled. “Here, I will leave your keys on the counter. The square one is for the front door, and the round one is for your apartment. If you have any questions at all, I will be downstairs.”

Nell saw her landlady out and locked the door behind her. She didn’t bother unpacking, didn’t even take off her little ballet flats. She barely managed to shuffle over to the bed and fall face-down on the covers before falling into an exhausted sleep.

Nell was awoken some time later by a knock on the door. From the sound of it, they might have been knocking for a while. She surfaced blearily, rubbing her eyes with one hand, knocking her glasses askew.

“Penelope, are you awake?”

“Ah…. yeah. Si. I’m awake.” Mostly.

“Supper will be on the table in a few minutes if you want to join us downstairs.”

Nell’s stomach grumbled loudly in response. “I’ll be right down. Gracias, Si— ah… Tia Caro.”

As the sound of her landlady’s footsteps retreated down the stairs, Nell glanced around. Some time during her nap she had kicked off her shoes and wrapped herself up in the covers like a human burrito. She ran one hand absently through her hair, finding it escaping from its braid in mad, staticy frizz. Nell released the braid with a sigh, combing through the tangles with her fingers. That seemed to only make it worse so she dug her comb out of her carry-on to attempt to tame the beast before she met the rest of the residents.

She knew from earlier emails that most of the people who lived in the building were related to Caro in some way. The non-family tenants lived on the second floor with Nell.

It appeared that most of them had already gathered in the dining room by the time Nell had made her way down. She could hear them from the stairwell, a cacophony of loud voices carrying snippets of conversation that she only half-understood.

Tia Caro reigned over the kitchen with a wooden spoon and a floral-printed apron. A younger woman – her daughter? – followed behind her with a giant tray heaped with tamales that she placed in the center of the gigantic dining room table. Three young girls, the oldest maybe eight years old, were seated between their parents at one end of the table. Two older gentlemen, one with a truly impressive greying moustache, sat across from them. There was also a middle-aged couple and another older women in a white blouse and purple skirt seated next to them.

The landlady grinned when she saw her. “Ah, Penelope! You are awake! Come, come! Join us. Everyone, this is Penelope, our newest tenant. Penelope, mi familia. My daughter Esperanza and her husband, Juan, and their girls, Maria, Anabel, and Lia. Across from them is Antonio, and Carlos. My sister, Lucia, is there at the end of the table with Nico and Renata.”

Unsure how she was going to keep all of their names straight, Nell waved. “Nice to meet you all. Is there anything else that needs to be grabbed from the kitchen, Tia Caro?”

“No no, everything is here. Come, sit!” Caro insisted. “We will get to know you.”

The moment Nell sat down she found herself loaded with questions, her plate loaded with food.

“So Nell, what brings you to Santa Cecilia?” Lucia asked

“Do you have family here?”

“Of course she doesn’t, Carlos. If she did she would be staying with them.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe they don’t have room.”

“Familia es familia. There is always room.”

“Why is your accent funny?” That one from the middle of the sisters – Anabel?

“Woah, woah! One at a time,” Nell laughed. “First, please call me Nell. Penelope makes me feel like an old Victorian lady.”

“But it is such a lovely name!” Renata protested as she served herself from a plate of arroz con pollo.

“Gracias– Renata was it?”

“Si.”

“Gracias, Renata.” Nell said with a nod. “I like it too, but I feel like it’s a little mature for me, you know? For now, I think ‘Nell’ suits me better. I came to Santa Cecilia because I’m doing some research for a new project. I don’t have any family nearby, or at least none that I’m aware of.”

“You are family while you are here,” Caro said with a kind smile from across the table. “Penelope is a very talented artist.”

“A real artist or one of the ones who scribbles on a blank canvas and calls it art?” Antonio asked from behind his giant moustache, flinching away with a sharp ‘ay’ when Caro clipped the back of his head with her hand. “Just asking…”

“I’d call myself a real artist,” Nell answered evenly. “But I suppose that would depend on if you consider graphic novels to be art.”

Maria, the eldest of the girls, raised her hand as if she was in school, waving it in the air. “Ooh! Ooh! What’s a graphic novel?”

“Graphic novels are like….Como lo dices… big, fancy comic books. I have four out in total right now, and an online series that I’ve just finished that will be released in hard-copy volumes in a few weeks.”

“Chido!” The little girl declared. “Can I see? I wanna read comics!”

Nell hesitated. Her work tended to be a little more PG-13 than Maria’s parents might approve of. Shooting them a quick glance, she made a mental note to let them take a look before they let the kids read them. “Ah… I have a couple copies up in my room. But I can show you some of the pictures later if you want.”

“SI!”

Nell slept late the next morning. Having stayed up late into the night getting to know the other residents, she felt she deserved a bit of a lie-in. Today was for settling in and exploring the town where she would be living for the next few months.

And, she thought as her stomach growled at her, getting some groceries.

But first, a shower. After spending most of the day before travelling, Nell was feeling more than a little scuzzy and was eager to test out the shower in the bathroom that was opposite the kitchen. It was narrow enough that Nell could have rapped her elbows against each of the tiled walls – something she did entirely by accident while she washed the soap out of her hair.

Refreshed, Nell stepped out of the shower to dry off. Drying her hair was a battle she simply did not feel like fighting today, so she did the best she could with her towel and spent the next few minutes muttering curses as she tried to fight a comb through the tangles. Then she twisted it up out of the way in a messy ballet bun, securing it in place with a large hooked hairstick.

That done, she pulled a bottle of sunscreen from the drawer under the sink. If she didn’t want to turn into a walking sunburned freckle within five minutes of being outside, she was going to have to make sure she covered herself before she left the building. With this in mind, she double-checked her purse for the smaller, travel-sized bottle that she had packed with her.

Her outfit for the day was a split-back apricot-colored tee-shirt printed with little rainbows, paired with mint green capris and a pair of heather grey ballet flats.

As Nell double-checked her purse, she heard the chime of incoming mail on her phone, and smiled when she saw that the message was from her parents.

Hi honey!

Glad to see you’ve arrived safely. Loved the pictures of your new place. It’s so cute! I can’t wait to see how it looks once the rest of your stuff arrives.

Do you know when your trunk is supposed to get there? Dad is worried that it might get lost in transit. Do you still have your tracking number?

We have been looking up Santa Cecilia on google and it looks like such a cute little place! I am sure you will find lots of inspiration for your book there.

Dad’s been learning to use the Skype on his phone. He’s almost got the hang of it now. We will give you a call later tonight and you can give us all the details!

Have fun! Be safe.

Love,

Mom and Dad.

Nell chuckled, shaking her head as she typed out a response. Her dad was fairly helpless when it came to technology, her mom not much better. Until recently email had been the extent of their expertise. The idea of her parents im-ing or attempting a video chat was just funny.

Hi Mom,

I checked the tracking when I got up this morning. My trunk should be arriving tomorrow afternoon.

I’m heading out for groceries right now. My landlady gave me directions to the market so I’m going to grab some bruch and explore a bit this afternoon.

I will call you tonight and spam you with tourist pictures.

Love you!

Nell

Message sent, Nell tucked her phone into her purse, grabbed her keys from the kitchen counter, and headed out.

She might have gotten lost once or twice but she did eventually locate the post office, the grocery store, and a little bakery that she couldn’t resist. With a paper bag full of breakfast pastries, Nell wandered off down the street.

She must have taken a wrong turn somewhere because instead of finding the grocery store, Nell found herself in a wide stone plaza with a large wooden gazebo erected in the center. A sort of farmer’s market was set up around the perimeter against the backdrop of an old church with a tall bell tower. There were people everywhere, haggling over produce, drinking coffee at the little cafe, or catching up with their neighbours on the latest goings-on in town.

Nell immediately lamented leaving her sketchbook at home. This was exactly what she had been looking for when she came to Santa Cecilia. This sense of tradition married with modernity, and a sense of timelessness behind the daily hustle and bustle. She could spend days sketching here, capturing the imposing sweep of the bell tower, the bright paper banners that criss-crossed between the buildings.

Oh, and the music! Nell’s exposure to mariachi was fairly minimal, but there was something truly incredible about seeing a performance in person. It was the perfect backdrop to the scene.

Nell immediately wanted to get a closer look at their costumes, drawn to the contrast of the gold braid against the deep blue of their charo suits.

All except for one, a kid who looked like he might have just started high school, dressed in worn jeans and a white tee shirt. His fingers flew over the strings of a pearl-white guitar, picking out a complicated melody that blended perfectly with the other band members.

He played well, she thought. For someone so young. And given the ease of which he played off of the other musicians and engaged the small crowd that had gathered to watch them, he was no stranger to performing.

But what really caught her attention was the glow.

An aura of golden orange surrounded the boy, flaring around him as he played, visible even in the bright glare of the sun.

Well, visible to Nell at least. Seeing auras was not entirely new to her, though it wasn’t something she experienced very often. But never in her life had she been able to see one so clearly, and never under direct sunlight!

Damn, who is this kid?

The band finished with a flourish and a series of loud, ringing gritos that had Nell jolting.

How did they even make that sound?

Nell shook her head. Not important. What was supposed to be doing again? Right. Getting groceries. Well, at least she was in the right place for that.

She left the plaza a short time later, wondering if Tia Caro would let her keep some of her purchases in the main fridge as she might have overestimated how much food her little fridge would hold.

And if she got turned around a couple more times on the way back home, well the only one who would know that was her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you’ve enjoyed the first chapter of A Year in the Life! I’ve got a lot of fun stuff planned for this fic and my goal is to release a new chapter every week or so.

This chapter was much more Nell-centric just to give you all the chance to get to know her, and I will be introducing POV sections for Miguel and the rest of the Riveras as the story goes on.

If you want to follow the fic on AO3 as well, you can do so here.

Also I am searching for a beta reader to help me edit and to bounce ideas off of, so if you are interested please pm me and let me know!

Thanks for reading!

[psychotickol-a]

TVD / TO VERSES

CLICK HERE FOR ALTERNATE UNIVERSES

PRE-VAMPIRE KOL

794-818 AD, the Viking Age

the Original Family are still human

Kol has a reputation among his people, the English and French as Kol the Blood Drinker

Kol is the fourth son of Esther and Mikael, younger brother to Finn, Elijah and Niklaus, and the older brother of his sister Rebekah and youngest brother Henrik. He's young, ambitious and impulsive. Married at fifteen, he's a prodigy with magic and accompanies his father on raids on the West (England and France).

Kol worships the Norse Gods and is a fierce and reputable warrior. There are many  tales of his savagery and prowess in battle and rumors that say that he is Bodir reborn or that he is god-touched. Kol sails often between what will be known as the Americas and his former home Denmark often, building his own reputation and striving to one day annihilate the Kings of England.

VAMPIRE HISTORY

10th-19th centuries

this verse is for period threads

any interactions that happen after Kol has been turned into a vampire but before his final daggering in the early 19th century

Kol is one of the first vampires in existence, living in the dark spaces of history, Kol and his siblings have been advisers to Kings and Queens, conquering heroes and hellish invaders. Kol has traveled the world and spends his time learning various forms of magic and ritual across the globe, etching what he learns onto his body in ritual tattoos and is one of the only members of the Original Family to venture out into the world on his own without his siblings.

Like his brothers and sister, Kol is being hunted by his vampiric father for his crimes committed as a vampire, this is what forces Kol to remain in the dark, in the shadows, rarely able to remain in one place for long. Kol's bloodthirst and hunger for battle and death is insatiable that often puts him at odds not only with those around him, but his siblings as well.

VAMPIRE DIARIES DIVERGENT

The Vampire Diaries seasons 3-4 divergence

this verse is for anything following the Mikaelson ball up until his imprisonment at the hands of Bonnie Bennett

Kol is accumulating to the 21st century

Undaggered after a century of endless darkness, Kol awakens into the 21st century and is reunited with his brothers and sisters. Kol does not hesitate to begin making up for his lost time in annoying his siblings and tormenting his enemies however after confronting his mother, Esther, and his eldest brother, Finn, for their schemes in wiping out all vampire kind, Kol leaves Mystic Falls. Kol promises his siblings to come to their aid should they need him but chooses to explore the new age on his own but returns soon after Finn's death in order to enact his revenge.

With Elena off limits, Kol goes after the next best thing. Kol Blood Eagle's Matt Donovan and leaves his corpse outside the Gilbert residence before Klaus asks him to babysit Jeremy Gilbert in Denver. When Kol beats Damon it's only the cherry on top of an already satisfying quip of vengeance.

Kol eventually returns to Mystic Falls to help his sister find the Cure for immortality but turns on his siblings when he attempts to stop the rise of Silas. In his efforts to kill Jeremy Gilbert, Kol burns the Gilbert residence to the ground and prowls the surrounding area for the Gilberts until Bonnie, using Expression magic, traps Kol within a prison world.

Bonnie, able to channel Kol through this mirrored prison world is able to tap directly into Kol's sireline, allowing Jeremy to wipe out over a third of Kol's sired vampire line in a single blow without having to kill Kol and even sparing thousands of other vampires. Jeremy completes his Hunters Mark and their search for the Cure is renewed.

IMPRISONED

The Originals seasons 1-2 divergence

any threads that take place while Kol is trapped within his prison world

Kol has the ability to "Astral Project" his consciousness using Dark Objects found in his prison world

Imprisoned by Bonnie Bennett for attempting to kill the Gilberts, Kol finds himself isolated from the real world, completely alone in a mirror universe of the real world. As an Original vampire Kol can survive without blood far longer than the average vampire but he knows that time is not on his side and that eventually he will desiccate. Kol travels across this mirrored universe and finds copies of the Dark Objects he had witches craft for him in the 14th century and uses these objects to attempt communication with his siblings only to witness Rebekah working alongside the Gilberts, Elijah has abandoned him and Klaus shows no signs of avenging him as he had promised. Furious, Kol begins to attempt to find his own way out of his prison.

Kol would eventually find a way to the real world when the Veil falls, allowing him to feed on living people once more and once again attempts to kill Elena Gilbert. Before he can succeed however, Bonnie, now dead and a ghost visiting the real world due to the veil having fallen, banishes him back to his prison.

Kol eventually uses Dark Objects to commune with a powerful witch in New Orleans, a young girl with a direct link to the ancestral magic that runs through the city, Davina Claire. Kol communicates with the witch, teaching her spells, enchantments, curses and rituals, working with her in order to squash his siblings under heel.

When Esther manages to revive herself in the body of a witch, she attempts to convince Kol to help her stop his brothers and sister, promising to place Kol's spirit within a body of a witch and free him from his prison. Kol rejects her offer, refusing her aid as he has no desire to be her pet dog. Esther reaches into Kol's prison world and destroys the Dark Objects in his prison, effectively cutting him off from the world for good and trapping Kol in an endless expanse.

Davina eventually manages to pull Kol from his prison world but the act is only temporary as the spell is not enough to pull all of him through and thus Kol begins to be torn apart between worlds. Kol confronts his siblings in a maddened state of fury and grief before finally having that dance with Davina and getting his siblings to promise to help him. Davina is forced to banish Kol back to his prison world or risk Kol facing a true death.

Due to the prisons instability following this event, Kol finds himself able to move between his mirrored world and the Afterlife, putting him in direct contact with the ancestors of New Orleans. Kol finds himself at war with the dead until he is finally freed from his prison after Davina aided the Strix in unlinking Klaus' sireline.

THE ORIGINALS DIVERGENT PT. 1

The Originals seasons 3 divergence

threads that take place in this verse are set during the events of the last two seasons of the Originals but is highly canon divergent

any interactions while Freya, Elijah, Kol and Rebekah are living within Freya's conjured dream world also takes place in this verse

Finally freed from his prison, Kol works closely with Davina and even reunites with his siblings against their enemies whom have come to New Orleans to take revenge against Klaus. Throughout these events Kol proves an invaluable asset but his warnings and advisement's are often ignored or shut down. Kol also faces another trial of his own, during his time with the dead witches of New Orleans, they manages to place a curse of hunger on him. His lack of control and his quick temper proved so out of character that Kol knew that something wasn't right. Discovering the curse and knowing that it would only be lifted if he killed Davina, Kol asked her to dagger him.

While the action stalled the curse, the ancestors were determined to strike Davina down once and for all. Kol was awoken and the curse forced him into a blind and uncontrollable rage and an unquenchable thirst in which Kol killed Davina Claire against his own wishes.

Kol mourned the loss of Davina, having grown to care deeply for her and worked to find a means of resurrecting her and protecting her from the New Orleans ancestors. His efforts proved a waste however as he and Davina were betrayed by Freya and Marcel.

This severed the efforts made by Kol and his siblings in rectifying their past affronts to each other, Kol lashed out, turning on his siblings in anger.

However blood proved thicker than water, as in the end Kol fought against Marcel and was bitten. Poisoned, Freya managed to seal them within another world to save their lives and Kol finds himself once again, trapped within a prison now forced to live with the very people he holds responsible for Davina's death.

Eventually returned to the land of the living after five years, Kol's anger has tempered slightly but is instantly reminded of his pain when they return to New Orleans to save Klaus from Marcel. (under co)

THE ORIGINALS DIVERGENT PT. 2

Pre-season 4 & post-season 4 of the Originals

this verse focuses on interactions after the Original family is forced to separate due to the hollow and during the events of season 4 of the Originals

this verse is currently under construction as I haven't actually watched season 4

After their forced separation, Kol travels in large part while within the company of Davina Claire, taking her to see the world. During their travels, they create new alliances and contacts with covens and individual witches all over the world, studying magic and sharing what knowledge they have to further those they find. Eventually, Kol and Davina's paths diverge from one another and the pair separate on good terms, as Kol was incapable of fully committing and how he was unable to give Davina the true love that they both know that she deserved, Kol wished for her to find someone who could well and truly be the soulmate and the love of her life that she needed.

Kol remained in contact with his siblings, his relationship with his family repaired after a thousand years of strife and pain. He also remained in contact with Hayley and Hope, though not nearly as much as Rebekah or Freya, Kol always answered her call.

(under co)

LEGACIES

set pre & during Legacies

this verse is under co

After the deaths of his brothers, Elijah and Klaus, Kol falls into a devastating spiral of rage, grief, hunger and madness. Having believed that his siblings would always be there, his foundation for his entire life was destroyed in a single night as Kol was forced to come to the disturbing and heart wrenching realization that the people he believed would live until the end of the world at his side, had died and were going to die, Kol descended into a quick and brutal pit. Maddened by grief, Kol is a vengeful and uncontrollable plague, he sweeps across the planet in a biblical disaster and is satiated only when confronted by either Davina or Hope.

Hope represents the last fragments of his family and she always manages to pull him back from the darkness but these moments are fleeting and last only as long as Hope needs him. The moment that Kol is away from her, his madness returns. For Davina it is even more difficult to keep Kol anchored, his fury and blind grief broken only by intervals of clarity that leave him guilt ridden and disgusted.

This verse is under construction but it is also the verse in which Kol is at his most unpredictable and most dangerous.