#he's so wildly in a different life stage and situation than anyone in high school

[sharkneto]

Why don’t you want five in school?

Oh, I've ranted about it before in the tags of THIS POST but in general it makes me wildly uncomfortable. As an adult, the thought of hypothetically being forced back to high school is the fucking pits, you could not pay me enough to do it - and I even had a good time in high school! Five is almost 60 years old and they're going to force him to go to classes and hang out with teens? That feels bad from every angle! It forces Five to act in a way he'd only do under great duress and fucks his agency and autonomy as an adult so badly. There are better, more interesting ways to play with the consequences of his physical vs actual age than sending him to goddamn high school. There's other, less dominating options for the "he looks like a kid and never actually graduated" problem.

You do you if that's your jam, don't let a random dude on the internet yuck your yum, but Five in high school is a squick for me.

[neoskidz]

The Heart Stealer || Na Jaemin

WC. 1.5K 

GENRE. Fluff / Phantom thief!au / High school!au

ELSIE’S NOTE. This is an old fic I had published before, titled “His Fallen Star”. The content itself doesn’t that much different, but with some upgrade. And some of you might be familiar from which anime this fic was inspired ;) 

SUMMARY. 

Being one of the famous detective’s closest childhood friends does have its perks, especially when a certain phantom thief takes interest in you. Little did you two know, this thief is closer than you thought.

TAGLIST. [Networks] @czennienet​​ @neowritingsnet​​ @dreamwritersnet​​ @nct-writers​​

Being one of the famous detective closest childhood friends do have its perks; such as him taking you to every case he works on to sharing secrets about a mysterious Black Organization that keeps targeting him. But of course, you’d promised to keep all that information to yourself as well as helping him with preventing the others from finding out. He didn’t want to worried them than they already were now.

Tonight was the grand opening of the museum which location that you found rather odd; it’s built quite far from the city where, you have to admit, wasn’t really your usual construction site for historical museums and people that invited to the grand opening were no other than conglomerates. 

The only reason for you—an normal high school student with no power or status—to be invited to the celebration was because of a certain famous detective who wanted to tagged you along. But, he’s already gone off into the sea of guests, leave you alone without knowing what to do. You tried to remember the phantom thief’s notice while looking around the room.

When the rays of light have been curtained by the earth’s dark shadows, I shall strike, and steal the fallen star.  

Paused in your tracks as you took a moment to process the riddle in the notice. ‘When the rays of light have been curtained by the earth’s dark shadows, I shall strike… that means he’s coming when the sun sets.’  Your gaze travelled forward and landed on a glass case-located on the stage in the middle of the crowded room-covered under a thick, red cloth where the “Fallen Star” placed.  

You furrowed your brows, something’s not right here. The notice was so straightforward, too straightforward for the phantom thief’s term. It must have some meaning behind the notice.

“[Name],” You turned around to saw Mark ran toward you. “Find anything suspicious?”

“Yeah. It’s about the-” You tried to tell him about the strange notice but was interrupted when a bearded-old-man, who is suspected to be the owner of the museum walks to the main stage where the Fallen Star been shown, spoke into the microphone that’s provided on stage. Claps can be heard from the guests as the light turn down low. Polices stand not far from the stage, guarding the necklace against any danger possibility.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for coming to the grand opening of Seoul Jewelry Museum. As for our tonight main event, we will see the famous Fallen Star.”  

The red cloth fell onto the stage, revealing the clear glass case out in the open for all to see. But instead of cheers and clasps like earlier, numerous gasps and shocked murmurs escaped the large crowd. All the lights turn down, making the room completely dark. A familiar laugh can be heard around the room.

“Najaem!” The unspoken name in your mind was shouted by a man beside you whose voice belongs to none other than Mark.

“Ah, Mark Lee, it is good to see your lovely glare again,” You heard the phantom thief’s silk-smooth voice spoke. “And looks like you bring your beautiful companion too.” 

“I’d love to stay for the rest of the celebration, but, I need to steal what I came here for tonight and take my leave.” Puffs of smoke flooded the room, making you cough as your vision blurred. 

A hand snaked around your waist pulled you out from the sea of guests. When the smoke finally cleared and you’d regained your vision, you’re no longer in the ballroom. You were on the rooftop of the building, along with Najaem whose hand still around your waist.

“Najaem!? What…” You were speechless, completely didn’t understand the situation you in. He just smiled as he noticed the confused on your face. 

Without wasting any more time, he cupped your face with his other hand and pressed his lips against yours. You swear your heart stops for a solid second before pounding wildly against your chest. You become paralyzed, lost in the feeling of the phantom thief’s soft lips and confusion. It was wrong, you know it was wrong to kiss the phantom thief in front of you, but at the same time, it felt right. 

However, the moment had to ended by the loud bang of the door. This made the phantom thief let out a low ‘tch’, just like what he thought. 

Mark pulled you away from Najaem, hiding you behind him protectively and ready to attack him. The phantom thief only smirked before activated his hang-glider.

“So long, [Name], until we meet again.” Were his last words before he jumped from the roof, leaving you and Mark alone on the rooftop.

“Are you okay?” Worried, Mark asked you.

You touched your lips where the warm sensation of the phantom thief’s lips still lingering, blushed at the thought that Jae just stole your first kiss. But in the middle of your action, you felt something under your other empty palm. 

You curled your fingers around it and held it up for you to examine. It… was a rose. You pulled it closer to you and that’s when you noticed that there was a piece of paper of some sort taped to the stem of it.  

When we meet again, I will not only steal your kiss. But a whole you. ‘Till we meet again, my Fallen Star.

After the incident with the phantom thief that claimed you as his in the previous heist, Mark seems can’t leave you alone and became more protective than usual. To make it worse, the inspector for Seoul district was actually elated, saying that they could use you as a weapon against the young thief which means your assistance will be needed for the phantom thief’s next heist. Even though you don’t want to be the bait, you still didn’t have any choices—Mark promised to always stay by your side, to make sure nothing happens to you.

That morning, instead of greeting your deskmate with your usual smile, you slumped on your desk with a tired groan. Snicker was his only response as he looked at your state. “Looks like you have a bad day. Care to share some story?”

“It’s actually worse than you thought, Nana.” You turned your head to looked at Jaemin, your deskmate, with a pout as you remembering how your life has just turned into a hell in one night.

Sometimes you can’t help but wonder, how can your sweet deskmate kinda reminded you of the Phantom Thief Jae. Despite the similar name—the one you gave him before you changed it to “Nana” per his request, Jaemin who sit beside you is far different from that flirt phantom thief. He is a total introvert (though he looks more like extrovert than you) with zero filters, never without coffee in his hand every morning, constant hugs, cute smiles, and has a soft spot for Park Jisung, the freshman in the first year.

The only same trait that you can see from your friend with the phantom thief is only how he can be a flirt sometimes. But still, there is no way your sweet deskmate is the phantom thief just because of how flirty he can be, especially with you.

“Is it really that bad until Mark hyung can’t stop watching you from far?” Jaemin raised his eyebrows as he tilted his head toward the door. 

Without turning your head to where Jaemin pointed, you already knew what he means. You can only let a tired sigh. 

Mark was watching you from outside the class.

“He has been doing that since the night that phantom thief kis-” You halted the sentence, earning a curious stare from Jaemin. The thought of the phantom thief kissed you made your face turned red. 

“He what?” Jaemin who noticed the sudden shyness gave you a teasing look. 

“Um… nothing. Just forget it.”

Oh God, you almost spill the embarrassing detail. You still could heard Mark’s nagging you about being so defense less in front of a boy. Not just any boy, but the phantom thief who known as flirtatious and womanizer. Therefore, there is no need for anyone else to know about the kiss incident.

“Uh-hu. What did that phantom thief do, huh?”

Great, now he will not stop pestering you about it.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you whined with red cheeks.

When you and Jaemin out from the class for the lunch break, Mark decided to join you two, saying that he needs to keep you safe though there was no way the phantom thief will be in your school. He kept talking about it with Jaemin all the way to the canteen, which you didn’t mind.

But, that’s where you were wrong.

You never expected to saw a familiar piece of paper that taped to the stem of the familiar rose inside your locker, just right when you about to put your books. A doodle of a phantom thief can be seen at the corner of the paper, clearly telling the world that the flower indeed from the phantom thief.

On the night the door between death and life opened, like Julius Caesar kneeling down in front of Queen Cleopatra, I will come to  you to completely finish what I started.

A little warning for you, don’t be deceived by what you see before you. The shell always different from what stored inside it.

The thought of him might be around you made your heart fluttered. Seems like he never fails to surprise you. You looked around to find any sign of the phantom thief where being, however, there was no sign of him. Seems like the simple little gift from him made your day, well, much better. Though you want to hate him for the kiss, you can’t stop smiling by the small notice. You shouldn’t be affected by whatever the phantom thief tried to do, yet your heart already damaged already beyond repair by him. 

Hate to admit it, but you might have fall a little for him.

“[Name], what’s wrong?” You abruptly close your locker before Mark could see it, surprising two boys behind you. “Did I just see a rose inside your locker?”

“It’s nothing!” You answered rather quickly, pushing Mark away from your locker. 

The detective looked at you suspiciously before decided to shrug it off, thinking that it may be from an admire and you’re just too embarrassed to show it. 

While busy pushing Mark away, you failed to notice the smirk on Jaemin’s face as he followed the two of you from behind.

“Hurry up before we don’t get lunch, Nana!”

“I’m right just behind you two, you know.”

If only you know the truth.

[kelvinerazo7]

10 Interesting Novels

Lord of the Flies (William Golding) At the dawn of the next world war, a plane crashes on an uncharted island, stranding a group of schoolboys. At first, with no adult supervision, their freedom is something to celebrate; this far from civilization the boys can do anything they want. Anything. They attempt to forge their own society, failing, however, in the face of terror, sin and evil. And as order collapses, as strange howls echo in the night, as terror begins its reign, the hope of adventure seems as far from reality as the hope of being rescued. Labeled a parable, an allegory, a myth, a morality tale, a parody, a political treatise, even a vision of the apocalypse, Lord of the Flies is perhaps our most memorable novel about “the end of innocence, the darkness of man’s heart.”  (goodreads.com)

1984 (George Orwell) Among the seminal texts of the 20th century, Nineteen Eighty-Four is a rare work that grows more haunting as its futuristic purgatory becomes more real. Published in 1949, the book offers political satirist George Orwell's nightmarish vision of a totalitarian, bureaucratic world and one poor stiff's attempt to find individuality. The brilliance of the novel is Orwell's prescience of modern life—the ubiquity of television, the distortion of the language—and his ability to construct such a thorough version of hell. Required reading for students since it was published, it ranks among the most terrifying novels ever written.  (goodreads.com)

Animal Farm (George Orwell) A farm is taken over by its overworked, mistreated animals. With flaming idealism and stirring slogans, they set out to create a paradise of progress, justice, and equality. Thus the stage is set for one of the most telling satiric fables ever penned –a razor-edged fairy tale for grown-ups that records the evolution from revolution against tyranny to a totalitarianism just as terrible. When Animal Farm was first published, Stalinist Russia was seen as its target. Today it is devastatingly clear that wherever and whenever freedom is attacked, under whatever banner, the cutting clarity and savage comedy of George Orwell’s masterpiece have a meaning and message still ferociously fresh.  (goodreads.com)

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (J.K. Rowling, Mary GrandPré (Illustrator)) Harry Potter's life is miserable. His parents are dead and he's stuck with his heartless relatives, who force him to live in a tiny closet under the stairs. But his fortune changes when he receives a letter that tells him the truth about himself: he's a wizard. A mysterious visitor rescues him from his relatives and takes him to his new home, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After a lifetime of bottling up his magical powers, Harry finally feels like a normal kid. But even within the Wizarding community, he is special. He is the boy who lived: the only person to have ever survived a killing curse inflicted by the evil Lord Voldemort, who launched a brutal takeover of the Wizarding world, only to vanish after failing to kill Harry. Though Harry's first year at Hogwarts is the best of his life, not everything is perfect. There is a dangerous secret object hidden within the castle walls, and Harry believes it's his responsibility to prevent it from falling into evil hands. But doing so will bring him into contact with forces more terrifying than he ever could have imagined. Full of sympathetic characters, wildly imaginative situations, and countless exciting details, the first installment in the series assembles an unforgettable magical world and sets the stage for many high-stakes adventures to come.  (goodreads.com)

A Christmas Carol (Charles Dickens, Joe L. Wheeler (Contributor)) 'If I had my way, every idiot who goes around with Merry Christmas on his lips, would be boiled with his own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. Merry Christmas? Bah humbug!' Introduction and Afterword by Joe Wheeler To bitter, miserly Ebenezer Scrooge, Christmas is just another day. But all that changes when the ghost of his long-dead business partner appears, warning Scrooge to change his ways before it's too late. Part of the Focus on the Family Great Stories collection, this edition features an in-depth introduction and discussion questions by Joe Wheeler to provide greater understanding for today's reader. "A Christmas Carol" captures the heart of the holidays like no other novel.  (goodreads.com)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (J.K. Rowling, Mary GrandPré (Illustrator)) The Dursleys were so mean and hideous that summer that all Harry Potter wanted was to get back to the Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. But just as he's packing his bags, Harry receives a warning from a strange, impish creature named Dobby who says that if Harry Potter returns to Hogwarts, disaster will strike And strike it does. For in Harry's second year at Hogwarts, fresh torments and horrors arise, including an outrageously stuck-up new professor, Gilderoy Lockhart, a spirit named Moaning Myrtle who haunts the girls' bathroom, and the unwanted attentions of Ron Weasley's younger sister, Ginny. But each of these seem minor annoyances when the real trouble begins, and someone -- or something -- starts turning Hogwarts students to stone. Could it be Draco Malfoy, a more poisonous rival than ever? Could it possibly be Hagrid, whose mysterious past is finally told? Or could it be the one everyone at Hogwarts most suspects . . . Harry Potter himself?  (goodreads.com)

Fatherland (Robert Harris) It is twenty years after Nazi Germany's triumphant victory in World War II and the entire country is preparing for the grand celebration of the Führer's seventy-fifth birthday, as well as the imminent peacemaking visit from President Kennedy. Meanwhile, Berlin Detective Xavier March -- a disillusioned but talented investigation of a corpse washed up on the shore of a lake. When a dead man turns out to be a high-ranking Nazi commander, the Gestapo orders March off the case immediately. Suddenly other unrelated deaths are anything but routine. Now obsessed by the case, March teams up with a beautiful, young American journalist and starts asking questions...dangerous questions. What they uncover is a terrifying and long-concealed conspiracy of such astonding and mind-numbing terror that is it certain to spell the end of the Third Reich -- if they can live long enough to tell the world about it.  (goodreads.com)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (J.K. Rowling, Mary GrandPré (Illustrator)) Harry Potter's third year at Hogwarts is full of new dangers. A convicted murderer, Sirius Black, has broken out of Azkaban prison, and it seems he's after Harry. Now Hogwarts is being patrolled by the dementors, the Azkaban guards who are hunting Sirius. But Harry can't imagine that Sirius or, for that matter, the evil Lord Voldemort could be more frightening than the dementors themselves, who have the terrible power to fill anyone they come across with aching loneliness and despair. Meanwhile, life continues as usual at Hogwarts. A top-of-the-line broom takes Harry's success at Quidditch, the sport of the Wizarding world, to new heights. A cute fourth-year student catches his eye. And he becomes close with the new Defense of the Dark Arts teacher, who was a childhood friend of his father. Yet despite the relative safety of life at Hogwarts and the best efforts of the dementors, the threat of Sirius Black grows ever closer. But if Harry has learned anything from his education in wizardry, it is that things are often not what they seem. Tragic revelations, heartwarming surprises, and high-stakes magical adventures await the boy wizard in this funny and poignant third installment of the beloved series.  (goodreads.com)

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (J.K. Rowling, Mary GrandPré (Illustrator)) Harry Potter is midway through his training as a wizard and his coming of age. Harry wants to get away from the pernicious Dursleys and go to the International Quidditch Cup. He wants to find out about the mysterious event that's supposed to take place at Hogwarts this year, an event involving two other rival schools of magic, and a competition that hasn't happened for a hundred years. He wants to be a normal, fourteen-year-old wizard. But unfortunately for Harry Potter, he's not normal - even by wizarding standards. And in his case, different can be deadly.  (goodreads.com)

The Hobbit or There and Back Again (J.R.R. Tolkien) Written for J.R.R. Tolkien’s own children, The Hobbit met with instant critical acclaim when it was first published in 1937. Now recognized as a timeless classic, this introduction to the hobbit Bilbo Baggins, the wizard Gandalf, Gollum, and the spectacular world of Middle-earth recounts of the adventures of a reluctant hero, a powerful and dangerous ring, and the cruel dragon Smaug the Magnificent. The text in this 372-page paperback edition is based on that first published in Great Britain by Collins Modern Classics (1998), and includes a note on the text by Douglas A. Anderson (2001). Unforgettable!  (goodreads.com)

[kiwisfics]

Vampires and Assassins - Chapter 1

A/N - Ignore my incapability to make good titles. Anyway here is the beginning of the self indulgent mess of a fic I started... over a year ago? Possibly over two. Heed the summary and warnings. This was started during the time I was struggling with massive toxicity in my home and the main character reflects that (though she has taken a life of her own). Let’s be honest, I’m posting this for the validation and because it’s easier than churning out requests.

Summary: Kady Lason wasn’t brave, not that she was going to let anyone other than herself know that. Her actions far from reflect her internal dilemma, leading her on escapades in the middle of the night, far from her turmoil-fueled family life. Which is exactly how she ends up kidnapped and sold into a world that few know exist: a world of vampires. If the shock and fear isn’t enough, she ends up with a target on her back, just her luck. The past is easy to forget when facing threats most saw as myths, but, somehow, everything always ends up connected, doesn’t it?

Panicked breaths rushed through my nose, my mouth blocked by duct tape that had been slapped sometime in between my pathetically weak attempt to fight my captor and waking up from the right-hook he'd decked me. I could almost swear I still heard ringing in my ears.

My eyes darted around wildly, landing on this face and that, drawn mostly to the few female outliers of the crowd. While the crowd varied in age, most of them were men, doing nothing to ease my fear.

God knew men set me on edge, with good reason.

The women, I had been informed through quiet easedropping on my fellow captives, came mostly seeking presents for their sons or simple help. I could only assume the intentions of the men and I couldn't assume any less than the abuse I had come to expect from them.

My feet were chained securely to the stage below, preventing me from darting from the stage or attacking my kidnappers—something I had attempted more than once.

My fear didn't immobilize me, if there was anything I could be proud of. At least they didn't know I was scared of them.

I was scared though. Terrified. The feeling buzzing in my veins as I forced a brave face. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing that fear, though; if I was going to die—or suffer whatever fate these human-shaped beasts saw fit—I was going to go through it as I always had.

And that meant digging divets into the insides of my cheeks to keep tears at bay and standing tall.

My hands were tied with rope, rubbing my wrists raw—I wouldn't be surprised if they were bloody when the rope was removed. Of course, my vicious tugging had done nothing to help the skin, as the pain had done nothing to convince me to stop. It'd taken exhaustion for that.

As my eyes scanned the crowd, still hoping for some semblance of hope for escape, prices far greater than that of my parents' yearly incomes put together—let alone the pathetic wage I received from stocking shelves in a local shop—were called out for the woman to my right and the prices only continued to rise as the seconds ticked by. Just how wealthy were these people?

I cringed as I heard the word billion thrown into the air.

The woman acted as though this were just another day for her, her face blank—a stark contrast to the pure fury my eyes conveyed to the crowd. Her mouth was uncovered, unlike my own, clearly, I was the only new arrival to this party.

It was impossible not to notice that I was the outlier among these women. While they were treated with only chained feet, I was restrained as if I was a danger—let alone the differences in our body types. All the women were tall, taller than me at least, but that wasn't a difficult feat; it was the obvious that stood out.

They might as well have been models, their faces lined with only a light layer of makeup and their bodies scantily covered—not that I envied the clothing, not with the prying eyes of men drilling into us—but it was obvious they had done their best to cover my features that weren't on par with those of the women standing aside me.

Some of the women had the gall to smile and wave at the crowd, though even they carried a look of absolute disgust in their eyes.

What have I gotten myself into?

The auctioneer was a tall, dark skinned man with a deep voice and a grin that almost certainly would have fooled anyone into a sense of security—save those of my disposition, who refused to trust others on a good day. He was the first I had been introduced to, playing the part of a gentleman, until he saw that I wasn't falling for his act.

He made no attempt to keep peace among the ravenous crowd, letting chaos reign until he heard a price that pleased him and sent other buyers into silence

"Sold, number 187!”

"Now, for our final item!" A deep growl rumbled free of my throat at the word item, though it went unheard through the chatter and my blocked lips, it satisfied my need for protest. "Nineteen years old, turning twenty within the month. Unlike our more petite slaves, she will not be as easily broken." I huffed indignantly, once again unnoticed, at his reference to my less-than-slim form, "While she is untrained," This information sent most of the crowd mumbling and muttering among themselves, "this can be an advantage for anyone who wants a fighter. Not to mention, she's a Category H. We had to sedate her to keep her this calm, she's not one to take kindly to orders

That's right. They had sedated me. The panic had blocked the thought of the drugs from my mind, but at the mention, I couldn't help but let out yet another indignant huff. I could still feel the sedative running through my veins, attempting to give me a false sense of relaxation, but they hadn't dared to give me enough to knock me out and had, in turn, neglected to give me enough to do more than give me a very slight drowsy feeling.

A nap sounded good anyway, but with the sedative? It almost sounded like heaven.

"Who wants to start off the bidding?" At his words, I held my breath, trapped somewhere in between praying for a woman to bid and wanting them to all stay silent, to let me die.

It wasn't the first time I had wanted to die, after all.

Silence overtook the crowd and, despite my previous thoughts, a shiver went down my spine. Was it that no one wanted a challenge or was it simply my age? All the other women were well over the age of twenty, yet, here I was, nothing more than a child compared to most of the people in the crowd and on the stage.

No, I realized. I had seen plenty of children before being brought out on this stage; a different grouping, but still present.

I could feel the pity-filled stares of the other women on the stage. My kidnappers and most of the women had made it painstakingly clear that if I wasn't bought, I would be killed, like any unwanted and untrained slaves.

A look of realization crossed the auctioneer’s face, followed by a devious grin. I knew, whatever he was about to say, I wasn't going to like it. "I forgot the best detail! This girl is a virgin."

I felt like a train had slammed straight into my chest. I couldn't catch my breath.

The first bet went up, followed by another, then another. Before long there was an all-out brawl going and I had never felt such a simultaneous mixture of fear and anger in my life.

This couldn't be happening. I needed to sit down. I needed to get my bearings. A bitter taste rose in my throat and fear and disgust ran like ice through my veins. Of course, it wasn't much of a surprise, after all, there were a very limited number of things I could have been kidnapped for, but having my fears confirmed set aflame the burning hatred I had subdued from the moment I had awoken in this situation to keep myself alive. I almost fell forward as I lunged at the auctioneer, pulling ever harder on the rope binding my wrists.

The pain was excruciating, but anger completely enveloped any ounce of care I held. Fear was forgotten under the guise of my rage, flowing off of me in waves. My body ached with the desire to end the man, but I couldn't break free.

I couldn't even rip into him to release my anger and, as such, the anger fermented in my chest, burning more than even the mangled skin of my wrists.

I'm doomed.

As my anger melted into hopelessness, I fell to my knees, staring blankly at the crowd as they argued over me.

For once in my life, I was wanted, and I hated it.

Guess this is what they mean when they tell you to be careful what you wish for.

I would have given anything to go back to high school in the moment, even middle school. I would go back to the times in my life that made me want to die and, if I retained the knowledge of how much worse life could get, I could suck up the pain of emotional abuse and bullying. Whatever mistakes I had made that had lead me here couldn't stem from that far back.

Maybe if I hadn't spent years hating myself, I wouldn't have ran off that night and I wouldn't have ended up here.

I just need a do-over.

As I stared into the crowd, fighting the panic attack building with each breath I took, I noticed a hooded man making his way to the stage.

I couldn't see any trace of his face under the hood and its shadow, leaving me unable to read anything about him. As he made his way through the chaos of the crowd, it was as if no one noticed him. He seemed to be the only one in the crowd not fighting tooth and nail to purchase me so I kept my eyes trained on him, using his movements to anchor myself and remind myself to count.

Ten. Twenty. Thirty. Forty. Fifty.

When he finally made it to the stage he motioned for the auctioneer to lean down. The dark-skinned man did so and the hooded man spoke into his ear. Had his mouth not been hidden from me, I could have, at least, read his lips, but their positions made it impossible.

When the auctioneer stood, there was a large smile on his face, stretching from ear to ear. "Sold to number 7!"

My head swung to the women beside me, fast enough to hurt, as my eyes desperately searched their faces for a sign that somehow I was lucky. That, out of all the people, I hadn't been purchased by someone pure evil. Each of them shook their heads, only slightly, their eyes bleeding pity.

My heart dropped.

[kingofthewilderwest]

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. I was tagged by @dyannehs​

LAST:

1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: Myself. Because I lost my cell phone. Outside of that, my mom! 3. Text message: One of my awesomeful friends of awesomeness who I’ve nicknamed Hux (she’s the Hux to my Kylo!) 4. Song you listen to: A nerdy composition project I’m working on. *grins* It’s a secret ’cause I’m gonna share online when I’m done! 5. Time you cried: Actual-actual cry? Don’t remember. Tears in the eyes? Maybe like two days ago? Yay for being broke.

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: Yes, I have dated the same person twice, and both experiences were quite wonderful indeed! And I’d probably date her a third time if life came around to it - both times we broke up came from us being too timid to do basic communication about relationship goals. We’re still really good friends rn - honestly either as friends or as dates, I’m happy either way! 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes 8. Been cheated on: Not in the sex way, but my first relationship ended because my current gf was hitting blatantly on someone in front of my face, and while we were talking about maybe doing a poly thing, this hitting-on-someone-else was in the venue of putting aside and ignoring me, and that wasn’t okay.  9. Lost someone special: Yes. 10. Been depressed: Oh shit I forgot my depression meds again... *runs to take them* Umm. Yes. The answer’s yes. High-functioning depression, here I am, prime example. Yayyyy [sarcasm] 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I don’t drink alcohol so nope.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 

12. Silver 13. Chocolate brown 14. Black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Aye! 16. Fallen out of love: Not really? I mean I don’t know how to explain it. 17. Laughed until you cried: Thanks to Lance and Kaltenecker, yes. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: I guess my coworkers thought I was quitting instead of just reducing my hours, so I had to fix that rumor chain straight. 20. Found out who your friends are: I think that’s always an ongoing thing in life. This year, I’d say that I’ve had reaffirmations that the people I care about care about me, so that’s really awesome. It’s wonderful to know that people are thinking of me. And I’m thinking of you, friends! 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yep!

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: About 99% of them. It’s very rare for me to add an internet friend to my FB contacts. 23. Do you have any pets: No. My apartment only allows cats and dogs, and I want guinea pigs again. ;_; 24. Do you want to change your name: I’m proud of my name and have used it as a source of inspiration (it means “pure”). That said, in the last few years, I feel increasingly distanced from my name and honestly think of myself far more as being named “Haddock.” Haddock is my name, my birth name is second. Still a good name, but I’m a Haddock. 25. What did you do for your last birthday: On the day itself: relaxed, bought myself froyo, Skyped family, chilled, was awesome. The general-ish week of my birthday: had a dinner with family, stayed up and binged all of VLD S4 the night it came out, hung out with a friend and also binged VLD. Basically, a lot of VLD. 26. What time do you wake up: The number fluctuates quite wildly day-per-day because “sleep schedule” is a myth. Today, I got up at 11 AM. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Answering asks on tumblr and PMing/texting a few good friends. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Having enough money to live comfortably and not stress every time rent week comes around. 29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: A few days ago, Friday. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Oh where do I fucking start... Well. The biggest thing is I’d do is go back in time and prevent a terrifyingly bad argument/falling out with my ex/ex best friend that happened in 2011-2012, not because I want to still be friends with this person (I don’t anymore), but because the experience was very... traumatic... to both of us and I’d love us not to live with those mental scars. I’m still getting over those scars and it sucks. 31. What are you listening to right now: The composition I’m working on. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah. Don’t know anyone well named Tom, though. One of my coworkers is a Tommy if that counts? 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: There’s one wonderful friend of mine who’s going through a really challenging time. I want to help them so badly, but they’ve been closed off and hermitting themselves to the point I think it’s harmful for them, it’s hard to contact them to help them, and they live too far away for me to check on them in person easily. I want to do anything to see them in person to help, or to talk to them, or anything... sitting in silence makes me very worried because this wonderful human soul deserves all the love and support they can get for what they’re going through. 34. Most visited website: Tumblr, Facebook, Netflix, Google. 35. Mole/s: I have two bumps on my forehead, one to either side. I jokingly call them horns, but they’re not evenly lined up, and the one on my left is much larger than the one on my right. 36. Mark/s: Bellybutton scar from a second degree burning incident, lots of scars on my hands right now from falling on concrete two months back, lots of scars on my wrists from a whole bunch of whatnot (I even have one from my sophomore year of high school when a school binder scraped me?), oh. And I have basically leopard-speckled shoulders from countless acne/pimple scars. For unnatural marks... three tats! Plans to get at least two more. 37. Childhood dream: To be a published, bestselling author or a college prof. 38. Hair color: Currently dark brown with bleached bangs and a strip on the right side. Natural hair color is what I call “dusty brown” and some people would call dirty blonde; it’s in that random in-between blonde and brown where the top is blonde-ish and the bottom is rather brown. 39. Long or short hair: I have the conundrum of enjoying my hair either really long or really short. I’m in the process of regrowing it to the long stage. It’s sort of at the bottom-of-the-shoulder-blades/boob length now. Goal is to go back to waist length. 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Does Takashi Shirogane count? 41. What do you like about yourself: Honestly, quite a lot? XD I’m very thankful to be a nerd who is apt to learn anything from sciences to arts and music and sports. I’m thankful to be a musician, a composer, a creative writer, an animation junkie, an analytical and logical mind, a complete and utter NERD beyond belief who lives in nerd culture. I love my appearance, I love my facial hair, I love my eyebrows and face shape, I love my body shape, I love that I’m left-handed, I love that I’m not conventionally pretty. I love being a Christian. I love being aroace. I mean when I’m not in a depressive, self-deprecating mode, I really am proud and thankful to be who I am all across the board; there’s very little that I dislike about myself. Mostly what I dislike is my current life situation of not being anywhere career-wise. Everything else, pretty happy. :) 42. Piercings: Two on each earlobe and one halfway up the cartilage. Dammit and I wanted like a dozen piercings by this type in my life. Get me a more stable paycheck and we’re fixing this! 43. Blood type: O+. Most common blood type, woot? 44. Nicknames?: I’ve had a terrifying slew of nicknames over the years. Currently, the most common ones are Haddock, King, (Kylo) Ren, Spock, and Toast. 45. Relationship status: Single in my chill natural habitat. 46. Zodiac: I am so bitter about my Zodiac sign I refuse to say it even though it’s not too hard to figure out what it is given other answers to this meme. 47. Pronouns: He/his/him, though honestly I really don’t care too much what people toss at me. 48. Favorite TV Show: Voltron: Legendary Defender. 50. Right or left hand: LEFT-HANDED WOOOOOOOO LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFT LEFTY PRIDE YOOOO! 51. Surgery: When I was nine I had four baby teeth and then the four adult teeth under them removed. Basically, a wisdom tooth like surgery but younger and with different teeth. 52. Hair dyed in different color: FUCK YEAH! I was getting really bored of my natural hair color but was keeping it natural for the purpose of looking professional (job searches). I’d been wanting to reinstate some purple and black again, but with my current job only allowing “natural” hair colors, I decided I couldn’t go that route. Instead I bleached the front and dyed the rest dark brown in a sort of inspiration from Takashi Shirogane. 53. Sport: I played soccer all growing up, so much fun. Love jogging. Sports are great, miss having the opportunity to do team stuff. Also really enjoy watching professional gymnastics, soccer, American football, and especially tennis. 55. Vacation: I want to see so many locations oh my fuck. My “to go to” list includes Bhutan, Nepal, China/Tibet, Mongolia, Cambodia (again... come on I miss it!), Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Japan, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom (England & Scotland), Norway, Canada, Peru, Mexico, South Korea, India, Myanmar, Austria, Germany, Iceland... um. Yeah. You. Get the picture. I NEED TO TRAVEL, YO! 56. Pair of trainers: Uh they’re like really raggedy and old and stuff

MORE GENERAL: 

57. Eating: I’m snacking on M&Ms again, like always. 58. Drinking: Water, though methinks I shall make some homemade ginger tea. 59. I’m about to: Probably go shower. It’s 3 PM and I still am in my pajamas. 62. Want: To fucking write and do NaNo and yet life’s been busy and I haven’t had the time for a word but I HAVE SO MANY VLD FANFICS I WANT TO DO AND AURGHGHGHGHGHGH the goal is to somehow write and finish my universal translator mix-up one this month???? We’ll see! Translators, stay tuned, and thanks again for offering to help! 63. Get married: 97% of me doesn’t want to get married I think? 64. Career: Linguistics consultant of doom. Not sure if this can be a career but if I could, I would enjoy continuing the remote work. To explain: I currently work contract positions with various companies who hire me for short-term projects, in which I use my linguistics expertise to analyze and annotate large sums of data according to certain guidelines. 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. I. LOVE. HUGS. SO. MUCH. HUGGGGGMEEEEE! I always look closed off in my body language but I swear the inside of me is always going “Giff me the cuddles and don’t let go.” 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. Eyes are the most gorgeous thing about humans seriously. 67. Shorter or taller: I prefer to be the short one in all social situations. 68. Older or younger: For friends, I’m chill with whatever age you are. Dating, also chill, though I think I tend to prefer being slightly older just ’cause that’s how most of my relationships have been? But really doesn’t matter. 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms. Nice arms are unique for me. I’m pretty happy with lots of different stomach types I see - tummies just are cute! :) 71. Sensitive or loud: A combo is fun but what I look for most in any platonic or anything relationship is someone with a deep heart. I want friends with whom I can confide in anything... so has to be that sensitive side (sensitive-logical if that makes sense is what I like best). 72. Hook up or relationship: I’ve done random PG hookups? But my answer for this is relationship; hookups are only fun for short-term boosts of self-confidence and not being 100% genuine and just being like carefree “whatever” for a night (make sure you both know you’re just doing the hookup night though, please guys, no deception!). Long-term relationships though are glorious like none other for their emotional power. <3 That is pure beauty, caring for someone deeply with lasting loyalty. But of course ya’ll know me... I find nothing more beautiful to cherish than deep platonic care! 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Combo of both!

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: Yeppers 75. Drank hard liquor: Nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Yes ugh I have no clue where one of my pairs of glasses are again 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex on the first date: I’ve had sex never so this is an easy answer 79. Broken someone’s heart: Yes 80. Had your heart broken: Yes 81. Been arrested: No 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: Yes, typically 85. Miracles: Absolutely 86. Love at first sight: I mean I don’t deny it happens. It happens. But I don’t think it’s pragmatic to think that’s what’ll happen to you. 87. Santa Claus: Come on, of course North and the Guardians are kicking Pitch’s butt! 88. Kiss on the first date: Sure, why not

OTHER: 

90. Current best friend name: I don’t have one best friend right now. A few of my current closest friends are named Josh, “Hux”, Keith, JuLee, Rachel, Peter, and Meredith. 91. Eye color: Brown 92. Favorite movie: HOW DO I PICK ONE FAVORITE MOVIE FUCK YOU?? The Prince of Egypt, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, the How to Train Your Dragon movies, Pacific Rim, there, I made a list.

Uhhhhh let’s so who should I tag... if you want to do it... @akkeyroomi @the-mr-eggplant @chiefrosepetal @thefuriousnightfury @insaneskye @fanwriter02 @dragonpride99 @jettara @margarethelstone @shailyesshadow @hubwalker1 @godguy0001 @theravenfliesagain @frosty-viking @jackthevulture @hiccup-is-left-handed @dragonnan @spacekeet @nightfury326 yaknowwhat I am not going to count but we’ll say that’s about 20 XD

[darrencrissource]

Song List

Lost Boys Life

Every Single Night

The Damage

Same Old Situation

Show Review

A little while ago, alt-pop duo Computer Games stopped by the Baeble office for a stripped-down Baeble NEXT Session. While Computer Games is a new collaboration (they just released their first EP, Lost Boys Life, back in March), the members of the duo are pretty well seasoned in the music industry - the duo is comprised of brother Chuck and Darren Criss. Although they’ve always wanted to do a collaboration like this, the brothers initially ended up going their own ways and making their own names in music. Darren Criss has obviously made a big name for himself, creating the Youtube sensation Starkid and starring on Glee, while Chuck spent his time as a part of the indie-rock band Freelance Whales. Computer Games grew out of the brothers’ frequent basement jams from their childhood, and their regular songwriting collaborations.

For their Baeble NEXT Session, Computer Games performed some songs from their debut EP, including title track “Lost Boys Life” and “Every Single Night,” as well as a couple songs of older songs from the brother’s early days playing together; “Damage” and “Same Old Situation.” Beginning the session with a full backing band that includes drums, bass, piano, and the Criss’ on acoustic guitars, they strip it down for their last two songs, performing with nothing more than a couple of acoustic guitars and their harmonizing voices. Between songs, Chuck and Darren talk about their 80s-inspired songwriting, how their collaboration came about, and their goal of making music to make people happy. If you’re finding yourself in need of a little 80s alt-pop happiness, our newest NEXT session might do the trick.

Artist Bio

As high school kids, Darren Criss and his older brother Chuck spent nearly every afternoon playing music in their basement for hours upon hours. With Chuck on guitar and Darren on drums, the San Francisco natives tapped into everything from British power-pop to Bay Area punk to create their own rowdy breed of garage rock. Though they’d always planned on forming a bonafide band together, each ended up striking out on his own path: Darren embarked on a singing/acting career that included the creation of YouTube sensation StarKid, starring on Glee and in the next season of American Crime Story, and a string of successes on the Broadway stage. Meanwhile, Chuck joined acclaimed indie-rock act Freelance Whales, with whom he recorded and toured with as a multi-instrumentalist and songwriter for several years. But in 2016, the two finally decided it was the right time to revisit their teenage ambitions and launch a guitar-fueled alt-pop band that they’ve named Computer Games.

The basement was a really hallowed place for us growing up, and spending all that time knocking around and making music together is what made us into the people we are now, says Darren, lead singer for Computer Games. So to finally follow through on that dream, and start this band together after wanting it for so long it’s just wildly exciting for us.

With its blazing guitar solos and boundless energy, Computer Games debut EP Lost Boys Life perfectly captures the spirit of adolescent abandon. At the same time, Computer Games show a sharp sense of songcraft born from years of refining their musical vision. One of the things about this project being a long time coming is that were taking the kind of riffs that we would’ve played back in the basement, but adding different layers to turn it into something new to put out into the world, notes Chuck.

Darren and Chuck share songwriting duties for Computer Games, drawing on their indie sensibilities to build the ideal backdrop for their often-introspective lyrics. In the making of Lost Boys Life, Computer Games went for a chocolate-in-my-peanut-butter effect by enlisting the pop expertise of New York City-based music production team THE ELEV3N. Known for their work with artists like Meghan Trainor and Jesse McCartney, the Criss brothers hoped THE ELEV3Ns production sensibility would add a more contemporary, familiar sound to their initial left-of-center tracks. The result was just that: a shiny sheen polish on scrappy garage pop. And for the mixing of Lost Boys Lifean EP that gracefully blends raw live performance with electronic elements the band looked to their long-time hero, producer & mixer Tony Hoffer, whose responsible for a number of albums that shaped the Criss brothers musical background: Phoenix Alphabetical, The Thrills So Much For The City, and Becks Midnite Vultures, to name a few.

With the band name referencing a bit of low-key childhood mischief (As kids we weren’t allowed to play video games, but we had games on our computer so there was a loophole there, explains Chuck), Computer Games delights in what Darren refers to as nerdstalgia. As were crawling out of our 20s, a sentiment shared by the band is this eternal sense of nostalgia, which is something pretty prominent in nerd culture, he says. It’s about liking whatever you like, and not needing to ever apologize for that.

That nostalgia also extends to the pop heavyweights of the mid-80s, according to Chuck. A lot of bands seem influenced by the 80s right now, but they’re usually going for that darker, Blade Runner vibe, he says. We wanted to look at parts of the era that haven’t really been explored as inspiration some of the music that just super fun. Naming Miami Sound Machine, Lionel Richie, and Huey Lewis and the News among their reference points on Lost Boys Life, Computer Games channel that outrageous fun into a deeply melodic sound that feels both fresh and timeless.

The most unabashedly joyful track on Lost Boys Life, Every Single Night fuses jangly guitar riffs and intricate rhythms with huge harmonies and some Michael Jackson-esque vocal styling. I tried to crush those consonants and vowels and make as many phonetically inspired lyrical decisions as possible like how with Michael Jackson, ‘jam on is suddenly a really cool lyric, just because it sounds cool, says Darren. On We Like It, a flurry of handclap-backed acoustic strumming gives way to a soaring, soulful anthem that’s epic in scope and subtly defiant in the message. 'We Like It partly came from hearing people of my generation or older generations worrying about kids being glued to their phones, and how that’s such a cyclical concept like how our parents were worried about us being glued to the TV, and their parents were worried about them listening to rock-and-roll, says Darren. It’s about kids saying, 'This is our life and this is how we express ourselves, and we don’t have to explain that to anyone.

The EPs moodiest moment, the slow-burning Lost Boys Life merges its heavy beat with an intense synth riff inspired by the darkly glamorous vampires of the 1987 horror movie. In the lyrics, meanwhile, Computer Games slip into a dreamy romanticism that’s more autobiographical in nature. To me, that riff sounds like so many nights walking home alone in the city, whether it’s San Francisco or New York or L.A., says Darren. There’s an aimless quality to it, and the songs about finding meaning with someone after living an aimless Lost Boys life for so long.Throughout Lost Boys Life, Computer Games sculpt a kaleidoscopic sound that reflects their eclectic appetites. Listing early-90s grunge, late-90s pop, Led Zeppelin, Supergrass, and Spoon among their formative influences, the Criss brothers each started studying music as little kids. But while Chuck quit piano lessons early on, Darren kept up with violin and added guitar to his repertoire by elementary school. Chuck was a late-bloomer, which impressed me and made me jealous at the same time, says Darren. At some point in high school he got a banjo as a joke but then got really good at it really fast. After that, he started playing guitar too and then got really good at that really fast. Once Darren got his drum kit, the two took to the basement and started working on original songs together. 

Through the years, they continued sharing songs with each other, sending demos back and forth via email while away at college. I always admired those early songs, and I’ve still got aspirations of putting them through the Computer Games filter and seeing what we can make of them now, says Darren.

For Chuck and Darren, there’s at least one major upside to the long delay in launching Computer Games: that hard-won sense of freedom that comes with pursuing their purest passions. Instead of trying to chase whats next, we’re trying to do right by those kids in the basement, says Darren. We’ve learned to embrace our love of what makes music fun for us, and we’re putting that into a project that’s 100 percent dedicated making people happy. It’s about creating something completely unique to us, and trying to make as many smiles as humanly possible.

September 6, 2017

[secondpubertyscene]

7.31.19

This month has been a surprisingly tough month. I mean, this summer hasn’t really been all butterflies and sunshine generally, but I genuinely think that this month really took me down a good couple notches. I’m mildly disappointed in myself because I allowed for conditions to determine my own growth, rather than allowing my growth to determine my condition, but I suppose setbacks are all a part of growing as well.

The month began with a kidney infection, extreme concern about potentially having an STD from a guy who I later found out was HIV+ and undetectable, a couple uncomfortable realizations about how my family views me, and a slight reversion into a really unhealthy coping mechanism. Today, on the last day of this month, I am much better but still not fantastic. My kidneys are chilling at stage three, my labs came back mostly normal and I just have to make some minor adjustments to my living practices to help maintain prime health, I don’t have any STDs AND I gained a better understanding of serophobia, and my relationship with my grandma is probably better than it has ever been. There are so many layers to each piece.

First off, my kidney health has been of only light concern over the last few years. I’ve known that I had chronic kidney disease since high school and I didn’t really have to make many changes to my lifestyle because I was generally a pretty healthy and active person. The most common causes of chronic kidney disease (CKD) are diabetes and high blood pressure. Wildly enough, I have neither of these, but alas, here I am. This kidney infection scared the literal crap out of me and the aftermath was probably one of the more stressful things that I’ve dealt with in life. Losing your sense of taste, feelings fatigued all the time, feeling like you can’t think straight for literal days on end, continuous kidney pain? I genuinely thought that I was dying and my doctors didn’t have many answers for me at the time. Thankfully, as my infection cleared so did all of the other symptoms. I’ve been back to feeling like myself for the last two weeks or so and I’ve never been more grateful. The whole STD scare thing was what REALLY fucked me up.

I felt conflicted about writing about this but then I thought about it and realized that I really have nothing to be ashamed of aside from the stupid mistakes that I made. Here’s the story. I fucked this guy after like…I don’t know…like two months or something of not being sexually active? He was someone I had hooked up with in the past and he’s genuinely not a bad guy, so naturally I didn’t think too much of going to his house (without telling anyone I was going there like a dumbass). Nevermind the fact that I couldn’t remember his name for shit and I hadn’t seen him in a year, I just waltzed over to his place and made myself comfortable. Did I ask him his status BEFORE having sex with him? Nope. I wasn’t even sober DURING the sex which kind of tells you everything you need to know about how I was feeling about myself right about then. Upon arrival home later that night, I showered and felt like shit about myself well into the week. I was scrolling through Twitter one day and saw his page and decided to see if I could find out his first name at least. What I found instead was that he had retweeted a lot of things about being poz on Grindr and whatnot. I’m not going to lie, it scared the ever-living-shit out of me. I texted him asking what his status after assuring him that I wouldn’t freak out and just needed him to be honest, he told me that he was positive and undetectable. When I tell you I was both relieved and terrified, I mean BOY. It was a lot for my little brain to process. Even though condoms were used, my paranoid brain went into overdrive and I was STRESSED. I ran over the night’s events again and again in my head, but it wasn’t super helpful because I was mega-fried during the entire encounter. I remembered the condom coming off at the end, him getting a few pumps in, and then pulling out and finishing on himself and that sent me into a full panic. Why didn’t he ask before removing the condom? There were so many things going through my mind that I felt like I was going to implode. That situation could have turned out so differently. I got tested and everything came back negative which was relieving, but it was still really stressful.

I then had to sit back with myself and ask if I was being fair. While I never expressed to him my fears, I think deep down I still have some serophobia to work through. I know that undetectable means untransmittable, but for some reason, I found myself doubting him still. I found myself extremely worried about contracting HIV and my mentality went to shit for some time. It was a rough time.

I’ve since spoken to him and expressed that I appreciate him being honest with me after the fact but that I thought it was uncool of him to remove a condom without gaining consent first. He apologized and argued that he couldn’t transmit anything anyway, but it is more about the principle of the thing. Needless to say, after that he didn’t want to talk to me anymore which I guess is okay with me. I did SO many things wrong and put myself in so much danger unnecessarily, but I think that I learned my lesson. The big take-aways: 1) talk about status before engaging in sex acts, 2) don’t get fried before having sex with a virtual stranger, and 3) remember to pee immediately after sex.

I don’t feel like getting into the pieces about my family or unhealthy coping mechanisms right now, but it will come up again, as these issues don’t appear to be going anywhere anytime soon. I’m done for now. 

[theconservativebrief]

Mention Elon Musk’s name on the internet, and prepare to face the wrath of the Musketeers. That’s just the way it works now that they — or the Musk Bros, or whatever you want to call the Tesla and SpaceX founder’s horde of devoted fans — are on constant high alert in defense of their chosen leader. For CEOs, it seems that being the object of affection for an increasing number of strangers is now part of the job description.

You don’t exactly have to possess Musk’s gifted, frenetic brain to figure out how we got here: Society has always had heroes, be those of war or art or politics. But entrepreneurs are particularly suited for our current moment, in which success in business is our primary marker of achievement. Business acumen doesn’t just get you money anymore; it can make you the most powerful man in the world.

The signs of CEO worship are everywhere: unprecedented venture capital funding for founders, media overemphasis on company leaders, and to use the most extreme and obvious example, the election of Donald Trump.

Carl Rhodes, co-author of the book CEO Society, notes that CEO worship has even spread to us as individuals. “If you hop onto Amazon and type in ‘CEO’, there’s many self-help books where you can ‘become CEO of your own love life’ or ‘date like a CEO,’ he says. “I can’t imagine what kind of awful date that would be, but nevertheless.”

It’s not a good thing: not for businesses, not for society, and not even for CEOs themselves. To explain why, I asked five scholars, whose reasoning ranges from leadership psychology to moral philosophy. Below, their lightly edited responses.

Jeffrey Moriarty, philosophy department chair at Bentley University

People don’t like complexity or ambiguity. They want to simplify. Pointing to a person as the cause of this or that good or bad event is simple: “Ronald Reagan won the Cold War;” “FDR ended the great depression.” Telling a story about resources, systems, institutions, policies, and practices is a lot messier and more complicated, though likely to be more accurate.

The same goes for business. People want to be able to account for some business success or failure and it is easy to say, “Oh, it was because Jones was at the helm, or because Jones made this decision.”

This is not to say that leadership never matters, or that good decision-making is unimportant. Surely it is. But it’s probably a lot less important in general than people think. Leaders have an interest in perpetuating the belief that leadership is vital to organizational (of whatever kind) performance — it is a source of power for leaders.

Slavish devotion to a leader is incompatible with the kind of critical engagement that is necessary to prevent organizations from going down the wrong path, financially or morally.

Ben Zeller, associate professor of religion at Lake Forest College

CEOs symbolize what we value as a culture. They fit the American self-image of the lone individual who succeeds based on their wits and raw determination. The CEO is the cowboy writ large.

Most people want something to believe in, and in an increasingly secularized age, CEOs offer a new target for devotion. We live in an era of unbridled capitalism, where consuming is what we do as a people.

We create and foster our identities by the clothing we wear, the phones we own, the music we download. Some people invest so much of themselves into the people and companies behind the technology that we consume, that they become effectively secular fundamentalists. If people invest so much of themselves in the ideals of a company or CEO, they will be let down when and if they discover that the company and CEO are driven ultimately by different goals than the consumer.

Carl Rhodes, co-author of CEO Society: The Corporate Takeover of Everyday Life

CEO worship, I think, is a feature of the latter stages of neoliberalism. A lot of it can be traced back to the changes in the global, political, economic situation from the 1980s where you had a shift toward a revival of traditional laissez-faire market-based economics. Business people in general have never been really heroic — in the 1960s, the so-called “organization man” was a fairly bland person wearing a gray suit who was thought of as a conformist, so it’s really a contemporary phenomenon to some extent.

If you look at at the phenomenon of Uber, rather than being seen as an employee, [an Uber driver is] positioned as an individual entrepreneur, a kind of mini-CEO of their own life.

The idea is that we see this kind of CEO mentality bleeding out into many other dimensions of life. We see this as quite a dangerous phenomenon because it’s all driven by values around success and individualism and competition and rivalry rather than about more traditional values around democracy, participation, collegiality, community and so forth. So increasingly our whole lives operate as if there’s some kind of competitive market where all we’re supposed to do is beat other people. If you look at Trump’s rhetoric, it’s always about winning. And it’s not just about winning — to prove that you’re winning, you have to have someone else losing.

Dennis Tourish, author of The Dark Side of Transformational Leadership

When people acquire extraordinary power, the effects tend to be rather negative. One business writer has said that being the CEO of the company today is the closest thing to being king of your own country. Well, history suggests that absolute monarchs become absolute tyrants, and that their sense of themselves becomes grotesquely inflated.

And for all sorts of psychological reasons, the more power an individual has, the less sensitive they become to the needs of other people and the less inclined they are to seek out advice in making crucial decisions, and the less likely to take any advice when they actually get it. My own research also suggests that people in that position are reluctant to facilitate critical communication from other people who have less power in making those decisions, so eventually people give up trying to offer it.

If they believe their own hype, they can become like a rock star surrounded by a sycophantic entourage, and the quality of their decisions will inevitably begin to decline. So the more a leader is lionized in the press or more popular they appear to be at one moment, the more wary we should be and the more we should expect a fall from grace to happen at any moment.

[By] encouraging the fallacious view that we need geniuses to run our companies, we’re doing all of ourselves a disservice. There are very few geniuses out there, and there aren’t enough to keep the economy or our organizations healthy. We have to find ways to engage the intelligence, the activism, the enthusiasm, the passion of people at more levels in the organizations that we rely upon.

Arun Sundararajan, professor at NYU Stern School of Business

Part of the American dream is that anyone can succeed like the most successful among us, so there’s an aspirational dimension to looking up to founders and CEOs. I think in particular in the tech space, there’s been a number of founder-CEOs who have not just been fabulously successful, but have also been successful rapidly, and in a context that is familiar to people. If I become a billionaire founder in meatpacking, that’s less a part of everyday life than if I build an app.

I think the key risk for employees and investors — and it’s tied up with the ownership structures that these CEO-founders are creating for their companies where a significant amount of control is retained by the founder — is that [when] the interests of the company or employees start to diverge from the founder, it becomes all the more difficult to make good decisions about what’s the best path forward for the company.

We saw this struggle at Uber recently that led to the founder leaving and a new CEO coming in. That was fraught with tension and difficulty because you had a wildly visible founder-CEO who was revered in certain circles.

From a societal point of view, this has led to certain expectations of entrepreneurship that can be harmful in the long run. We’re entering a phase of modern work where more people are going to have to be individual entrepreneurs.

Entrepreneurship is at the foundation of what the future of work will be like. The visibility and adulation for the founder-CEO can often allocate the resources of society towards that kind of entrepreneurship, rather than the more common kind, which is opening a nail salon or a law practice.

What I see with students: When I say “entrepreneurship,” they think of Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs. In some ways, I want every undergrad these days to learn about entrepreneurship not so they can go off and create the next billion-dollar company but because I feel like they have to think like entrepreneurs to succeed in tomorrow’s world of business.

Original Source -> CEOs have never been more idolized. 5 experts explain why that’s a problem.

via The Conservative Brief

[treehugginglibrarian]

Now is the Time for #NOTALLMEN

Under ordinary circumstances, I would probably be reacting to our current news cycle by screaming my detestation for men everywhere from every rooftop I could find to climb upon. It occurs to me, though, that in this instance that would fall on deaf ears and would probably be counterproductive. In light of this fact, I’m going to take a different approach and I’m going to say:

#NOTALLMEN

#NOTALLMEN do the things that Brett Kavanaugh is accused of doing. Not all men assault a girl in high school. Not all men attempt to rape anyone, ever. Not all men will, at some point in the course of their lives, physically hurt and permanently scar the psyche of a woman in their lives. Not all men are completely awful, and those men that aren’t awful should be wildly fucking offended by the implication that Brett Kavanaugh’s guilt or innocence doesn’t matter, because even if he did do it he’s not doing anything that every other man before him hasn’t already done. Because, #NOTALLMEN are incapable of treating women like they are whole, sentient, beings worthy of respect.

As evidence of this fact, I give you the multitude of times in my own life that a man could have harmed me, could have done serious damage, possibly could have killed me, and didn’t. Though I claim a general dislike for the male species, I know a LOT of men. I am friends with a LOT of men. And the overwhelming majority of them are pretty fucking amazing. The ones I keep close to me are all really fucking amazing. To start, let’s take it back. WAAAAAAAAY back. To an age at which Brett Kavanaugh may, or may not, have been assaulting people, an age at which we are being led to believe “boys will be boys” and we should just shrug this shit off.  

I spent high school hanging out with a pretty mixed bag of people. I was super bad at falling into any one clique, though my sophomore year I attached myself to a crew of gents that were two years older than me and sort of just latched on leech style. Zach, Randy, Bubba, and Jeff were staples of my sophomore year of high school. I spent literal hours with them after school for stage crew shit (I was a band geek and a musical geek), after marching band gigs, and just hanging out. Weirdly, despite spending hours upon hours together, sometimes on darkened school buses, none of them ever assaulted me. #NOTALLMEN

The summer after they graduated, Jeff and I started dating. This brought me up to his college campus pretty frequently where I met his friend and roomie Abe. At no point while we were together, despite us often spending the night alone in his dorm room, did Jeff ever assault me. At no point in our time together did Abe ever assault me. In fact, Abe and I have gotten together since then just to catch up on old times and you know what we did? We ate dinner. And talked about our lives. He didn’t assault me. #NOTALLMEN

Through all four years of high school, there were three constants within my own graduating class with whom I seemed to spend a fair bit of time and of whom I have consistently fond memories. Two of these people were boys. Despite spending lots of time together in the hallways before school or between classes, despite going to parties together, despite the fact that one of them was even on the football team *gasp*, neither Lee nor Dean ever assaulted me. We helped each other with school work, talked about politics and religion, reminded one another that high school is only temporary, and generally just did what we could to make one another smile. We had history class together almost every year and, courtesy of our teacher and our friendship, we laughed a lot during that class. #NOTALLMEN

Either the summer before I went away to school or the summer after my freshman year, I had the first of what would be multiple (though not nearly as many as some of my other Army buddies) pretty fucking drunk experiences. I had gotten reasonably drunk on a couple of occasions in high school, but this was my first fall-down, black-out, what-the-fuck-was-I-thinking, experience. I was out with my friend Rob and some of his buddies, at a barn party in the middle of nowhere. I was completely blitzed. The type of drunk where Rob wasn’t comfortable taking me back to my house (he didn’t know at the time that my dad would have laughed), so he instead took us to our friend James’ house, since James’ parents were well-versed in the art of coping with teens being stupid. Rob did not sexually assault me. None of his friends or the other party goers sexually assaulted me. I also managed to spend the night on the couch at a house that wasn’t my own, without being sexually assaulted. #NOTALLMEN

Speaking of James’ house, I spent a fair bit of time there. His parents were firm believers that teens were going to be stupid, so at least if they gave us a place to be stupid they could keep an eye on us. They’d collect car keys, keep us from fornicating in cars, make sure we didn’t accidentally fall in the fire pit, and feed us breakfast the next morning. I didn’t realize at the time how insanely, incredibly, unspeakably lucky I was to have a friend like James who had parents like he had, thus allowing me to have ridiculous amounts of fun with my friends. We’d pass out where ever we fell, on couches, on beds, in piles outside. In all of the years that I spent getting drunk at their farmhouse and waking up to an amazing breakfast the next day, I was never sexually assaulted. Not even once. Not even close. Hugged, cuddled (it was acceptable), fed, and handed bunny rabbits. But never sexually assaulted. #NOTALLMEN

In case you couldn’t tell, I made it through high school without ever being sexually assaulted. Despite spending TONS of time with boys in LOTS of situations in which they absolutely could have done serious harm to me, I came out of high school thinking guys were just like girls but built a little differently. I treated them the same. I talked to them the same. I had just as many guy friends as gal friends. #NOTALLBOYS will sexually assault someone in high school, or my high school years would have been horrific.

I was less lucky in college, but this isn’t about the unlucky spots. This is about the the fact that #NOTALLMEN are raging shit weasels. I joined the ROTC my sophomore year of college. By my junior year, I was tucked into a commissioning crew of a whopping seven people. Six dudes, and me. We did basically everything together. Jason, Jim, John, Nathan, Sean, Elias, and little ol’ me. We spent time in the field together. We spent time in hotels together. We spent time on road trips, in bars, at house parties, and doing our homework together. Had you told me when I was in college that a decade later I would be besties with none of these men and that I would only be in nominal contact with one or two, I would have thought you crazy. These men were my heart and soul. Life is a fickle fuck, though, and we eventually went our separate ways. At no time before this occurred, however, did any one of them ever sexually assault me. #NOTALLMEN

My ex-husband, though a stubborn man who apparently refused to believe he couldn’t turn me into a baby-wanting Catholic, never sexually assaulted me. #NOTALLMEN 

During the multiple training rounds the ROTC put me through, I usually found myself spending time with dudes. We’d camp together in the field, dine together, and if there was time, inevitably get shit faced together at some point in time. We’d fall asleep in piles outside the barracks, pick each other up when it was time to get moving, and remind each other that water was necessary. No matter how drunk we got, or how alone we seemed, I was never sexually assaulted. #NOTALLMEN

I moved to Israel where I was sexually assaulted with some regularity by the Palestinian men living there but, again, this isn’t about them. This about the fact that #NOTALLMEN are goddamned fuck nuggets. I spent more time with my friends Bill, Dave, and Matt then I think I could ever properly tabulate. I literally took to calling Dave my older brother because he was older than me and he was exactly as I pictured an older brother of mine would be (interesting factoid, I have since found my actual older brother and I wasn’t too far off. Tim and Dave are VERY, VERY similar creatures). I greeted them with unsolicited hugs, fell asleep on their shoulders during movie nights or on long car trips, and was generally convinced they were my own, personal, human teddy bears. If they were bothered by this overabundance of affection on my part, they didn’t show it. And they definitely didn’t sexually assault me for it. #NOTALLMEN

During deployment, I was one of fewer than ten women in my company of over 100 people. Though I believe they might have beaten up someone from another company who they overheard say inappropriate things about me, and I watched one of my NCOs threaten a Warrant Officer who was making me super uncomfortable (an Officer who was chaptered out for rape and sexual assault as I was coming off of active duty), no one in my company ever harmed me. They picked on me, they teased me, they kept me safe, they trained me, they demanded more of me and demanded better of me, and they put me back together every time the higher ups tried to break me. They never sexually assaulted me. #NOTALLMEN

Later, while going through a particularly rough patch involving a man who wasn’t all that stellar, a Warrant Officer we fondly called “Uncle” Rick basically adopted me. He kept me safe in a completely non-paternalistic way, ensuring that the bad guy stayed at bay and that, if he wasn’t on a completely different universe, he was at least nowhere near me. He once told me that if said bad guy ever showed up trying to hurt me, to call him first. He’d make it there before the cops would. I never doubted for a second that if I needed him, he’d be there. The vast majority of the men I met while in uniform were good humans who never sexually assaulted me. #NOTALLMEN    

One of my very best friends I acquired courtesy of my time on the Brigade staff. I have spent quite a bit of time with my friend Scott, running, talking, exploring breakfast spots in Alexandria, and just generally doing the things you do when you’re with one of your favorite people. I have stayed up until 1am with him, sitting on his couch and drinking tea, and you know what happened when we finally went to bed? He hugged me, told me how happy he was I was visiting, and told me to sleep well. He didn’t sexually assault me, because he’s one of my best friends and that’s a shitty fucking thing to do to anyone so it’s a super shitty thing to do to one of your best friends. #NOTALLMEN because some men are fanfuckingtastic.

Speaking of fanfuckingtastic men, my more local bestie Eric has never sexually assaulted me, either. HOURS upon HOURS spent out on the trails, or eating ice cream, or in his bike shop. Many of these hours spent alone. He’s bigger than me. He’s stronger than me. The woods are a scary and lonely place. But, like Scott, he’s never sexually assaulted me. I can’t say for certain, but I think that, like Scott, it’s because he’s too fond of me to hurt me and he knows that sexually assaulting me would hurt me. Also, like Scott, he’s just not inclined to sexually assault anyone. Because #NOTALLMEN. I know this, for a fact, because two of my dearest friends are men who have never, and will never, hurt me. Or anyone. 

No worries. We’re almost done. I’m almost out of men in my life to call out for their awesome ability to not rape and/or assault people.

I joined a CrossFit gym a little over two years ago. On day one, I was the only person in the gym with my coach, Adam. Just me. And a dude who’s built like a Greek god and could pick me up and break me. You know what happened? The same thing that’s happened every single time I’ve been the only person in class since then. He taught me how to lift shit and corrected my form. The longer I’ve been there the more we’ve taken to bullshitting about life while I’m lifting, but he’s never hurt me. In fact, none of the men in the gym have ever hurt me. I’ve been in the gym alone with my other coach as well, and though we give Jeff innate amounts of shit for basically being everyone’s disappointed dad at all times, he’d never actively seek to hurt any of his athletes. I have showed up for classes where I was the only woman in a room with a male coach and five or six male athletes. And all we did was work out. No sexual assault took place. #NOTALLMEN Even when they’re absolutely strong enough.

The idea that what Kavanaugh may have done should be brushed aside as an excusable indiscretion because “all men” will do something of that nature at some point in their lives is complete and utter horse shit. Indefensible, wildly offensive, horse shit. The only way men would ever believe this is if they, themselves, are abusers. The only way women would believe it is if they have been abused far too many times. #NOTALLMEN are human shit stains, so why the hell are we inventing a narrative that says they are?  

[recentnews18-blog]

New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/tattoos-come-and-go-but-comedian-hypnotist-and-asu-grad-flip-orley-is-always-funny/

Tattoos come and go, but comedian/hypnotist and ASU grad Flip Orley is always funny

Flip Orley(Photo: Personal Publcity)

Some performers tend to shy away when they’re not on stage. Comedian and hypnotist Flip Orley is the opposite: He enjoys meeting people who go to his shows, even hanging out with them during occasional happy hours that he’ll set up.

“The first time I did it was in D.C., and I expected no one to show up,” Orley says, calling from his home in Lafayette, Louisiana. “We had like 60 people show up, and I was just knocked out. It was really flattering.”

The Phoenix native admits to some butterflies before that initial happy hour.

“I thought it was going to be hard,” he says. “When I’m offstage, I’m a little bit shy and reserved. But everyone is so gracious, so nice and really interactive, and it turned out to be a really good experience.”

You never know what’s going to happen during a Flip Orley performance. (Photo: Personal Publicity)

The conversation topics? They run the gamut, ranging from “people telling me bits they like to see me do to things about themselves or just kind of laughing about life. It’s just really kind of fun.”

Flip Orley, open book

Getting to shoot the breeze with Orley is fun. He attended Central High School and graduated from Arizona State University with a degree in communications, and he’s got a quirky, engaging point of view. 

Sometimes he’ll meet people he went to school with; maybe it’s people who regularly attend his shows or volunteered to be hypnotized on stage at one time. Other times it’s people who follow him on Facebook and have never actually spoken with him. He’s quite candid on social media, so people generally know more about him than he does about them.

“I think I’ve been on Facebook since 2007, and I’ve been on stage my entire adult life,” he says. “I don’t mind being an open book. I’m kind of used to it. I’m sort of the doofy guy who walks through life and has these weird experiences and sometimes makes bad decisions in the moment that turn out to be funny stories to tell.”

Tattoos as performance art?

He’s got some funny new stories to share when he returns to the Tempe Improv starting on Sept. 13. He recently split with his wife of four years. During the relationship, the previously ink-free comedian got several tattoos with her name on his body. Several, as in 14.

Flip Orley (Photo: Personal Publicity)

“Let’s be honest: I’ve got some cover-up work and laser work in front of me,” says Orley, who frequents Hotrod Tattoo in Chandler. “Two different friends each said they wanted to start a GoFundMe page for my tattoo and laser removal.”

He even thought about working in some genuine tattoo removal procedures into his shows in Tempe, but the logistics proved to be too difficult.

“I was going to get on stage, do the backstory of my tattoos, then invite my tattoo buddy up, then he’s going to have to follow me around the stage as I talk to volunteers?” he says with a laugh. “It’s funny and quirky and performance art-like, almost like Andy Kaufman, but I couldn’t figure out how to make it work.”

Nice guy on and offstage 

Instead, he’ll offer a show with “some new material and some new wrinkles in old material,” he jokes.

For people who think a show with hypnotism consists of people clucking like a chicken on stage, Orley never embarrasses anyone.

“For people who are nice enough to see my show, and even more so with volunteers who are nice enough to come on stage, I’m a much nicer person,” he says. “My first goal is taking care of the volunteers and to make sure they’re not put in a bad situation. They won’t do or say something they’ll regret later on. You can have a wildly entertaining show without being mean.”

And, like Orley’s social media, it is a political-free zone. 

“No matter what you say, half the country agrees and half the country disagrees,” he says. “I don’t want to alienate anyone. I think there’s room for everyone to have their beliefs and views and still hang out and laugh and have a beer.”

Reach the reporter at randy.cordova@arizonarepublic.com or 602-444-8849. Twitter.com/randy_cordova. 

Flip Orley

When: Sept. 13-16. 8 p.m. Thursday; 7:30 and 10 p.m. Friday; 7 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday; 7 p.m. Sunday. Meet Orley at a happy hour 7 to 9 p.m. Wednesday, Sept. 12, Devil’s Advocate Sports Grill, 955 E, University Drive, Tempe. 

Where: Tempe Improv, 930 E. University Drive.

Admission: $20-$22.

Details: 480-921-9877, tempeimprov.com.

  Read or Share this story: https://azc.cc/2oPz34Y

Source: https://www.azcentral.com/story/entertainment/people/2018/09/08/tattoos-come-and-go-but-comedian-hypnotist-flip-orley-always-funny/1226960002/