#he's wracked with survivor's guilt

[allthepandasintheworld]

good omens reference and also, halsin is HUGE ok, in game, rene literally only comes up to his shoulder

im assuming body type 2 for drow are around 6ft but i dont think(?) they are(?) HOWEVER. elves are canonically on average 6ft tall, and halsin is considered abnormally tall for an elf, which can only mean he's 7ft at least, in this essay i--

[catteries]

with the amount of Feelings i'm getting, i'm definitely headcanoning that DGS!Sholmes is the happy ending ACD!holmes deserved, and iris is sholmes' equivalent of beeretirement, and you cannot stop me from this powerfully enriching addition to my life

[shxwmaster]

👄 + varian

send a ‘👄 + character name’ and my muse will talk about that character

—

“ Varian... ”

It's funny, how Shaw prides himself in his discipline and control over his impulses and vices. How he can steel himself and his nerves, and yet, just the very mention of the man's name can have his chest tighten, his throat threaten to close, and his mouth crave a drink or that of a cigarette just to lessen the pain, just to take the edge off, just to make it easier, just to... just to...

He closes his eyes.

“ It was the utmost honor to serve him, ” He says slowly, each word carefully selected with such precision and caution, as if one wrong move would bring the city to ruin. “ High King Varian Wrynn was an honorable man. He demonstrated true strength, and he cared deeply for the people of Stormwind. He was... brave, intelligent, charismatic, he was confident and heroic, he was... ”

He trails off before his voice can betray him. No matter how much time passes, it doesn't make the pain any more bearable. Forever, Stormwind will feel his absence. Forever, Mathias will look to the statues of Varian, feel his echo in the city, and know he will never get to see him again.

He doesn't move from where he stands, propped against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. The breeze is pleasant, and brushes past his hair. The sun is warm, a loving embrace. The day is beautiful. Somewhere in the distance, Varian's memorial sticks out the side of Stormwind like a tumor.

“ Stormwind loved him, ” Mathias says, staring out into nothing. “ We feel his absence. I... feel his absence. ”

He shifts somewhat, looking away from the horizon. “ My connection to the throne is different than the normal guard or soldier. I have a bloodbound oath to the crown. The Shaws only existed because of Stormwind. I am only alive because of the mercy this kingdom spared upon Pathonia Shaw; since then, it became our responsibility to pay it back. Were it not for that day, I would not have been born. My existence is a privilege, and I trained my whole life to bring service to the crown. It gave me life. It is my duty to return the favor. ”

He stays quiet. His gaze is trained in the direction that he knows Lion's Rest is. A grand memorial. There was no body to bury.

“ And I failed him. ”

His voice breaks there, and he lifts his head, making an effort to clear his throat and correct the slip. Even years later, his body aches from the horrors inflicted upon him by Detheroc and his minions. There are injuries he will never fully recover from, ways he can't move anymore without being reminded. The body, the scars, these don't bother him. These are insignificant, they mean nothing. The greatest failure on the Broken Shore was not what happened to him, but what Shaw failed to do.

They had seen the trap. It was a death sentence. If only they had been quicker, if only they could have gotten out, if only he hadn't been captured, then... then...

“ Sometimes, I worried that perhaps I didn't actually care for the Wrynns, ” He suddenly rambles. “ That I was only doing it because it was my duty. That it was merely obligation. I couldn't tell my duty and my emotion apart. That always worried me.

“ But there were days where we would just... talk. Varian cared deeply for everyone, and even... hah, even made efforts to alleviate my own burdens, as if that was his responsibility. As if I wasn't there for him to do that exact thing. We would talk, we would laugh, I would witness him and Anduin at their gatherings and smile bright as their favorite people surrounded them or they got to partake in a royal feast — just... I would just witness their humanity, and I would think, 'Why, yes of course, how could I question it? I do care. I do love them. This is real. It's real to me.' ”

He thinks about Varian, how he carried himself in battle, in gatherings. How he held himself with confidence. How he was always outspoken about his beliefs. How he loved Tiffin, how he loved Anduin. He thinks of the massive statue of him near the Keep and how Varian would hate it, because he always found a way to stay humble. He thinks about his strong voice, his bark of laughter, long warrior's hair, he thinks of his strength and his qualities that Shaw envied, he thinks of Varian, and there's a hole in his chest. He thinks of Varian, and knows there was never a goodbye, that their last conversation was strategizing. That both of them knew there was a chance no one would survive, but still held onto the hope that wouldn't be true. He thinks of Varian, and remembers that he had a chance to save him. His whole life had one purpose, and he failed it.

“ I loved him. ” His voice is filled with conviction, laden with emotion, and hissed through grit teeth. “ How could I not? He was our king. The world is worse without him. All... I wish... is to do right by him. I could not save him. I lived, where he should have. Men like me in this profession don't make it this old. The least I can do is take care of what he's left behind. This... is my bloodbound oath. ”

[circeyoru]

Demonic Companion

[Alastor x Human!Reader]

Let's switch it up, this time you're the human and Alastor's back to his demon self

Part 1 (here)

Part 2

Others have an imaginary friend, and you think you got a demon from Hell

You didn’t even do anything, at least it wasn’t your fault. It was your friends’. They wanted to try summoning a demon after watching it on the internet since it looked fun and scary. It doesn’t actually happen, summoning an actual demon, so everyone was fine with it

Except you, of course. You objected, screamed and shouted ‘no’, even saying that there will be consequences. Though guess since everyone was a kid, no one really thought ahead, even when one did -aka you-, there wasn’t much of an arguable point to give out. You’re a kid, they’re a kid, so no authority, that’s the problem

So when an actual demon was summoned, what’s the next step? The demon, or Alastor, as he introduced himself was also known as the Radio Demon. Now Alastor offered a deal in exchange for whatever you and your friends wanted, he’d have your souls. Your friends were quick to agree, except for you, again

What did your friends want? The newest dollhouse, the toy car his parents wouldn’t buy for him, a giant fluffy soft toy bear, and a makeup set. Children, right?

You had unknowingly become the sole survivor of the weirdest and most nerve-wracking kidnapping in the city. How did 4 kids vanish, yet only one remained in an apartment? Your answer that no one believed was the work of a demon from Hell

You tried convincing your and your friends’ parents that, even the police, none believed. All the while Alastor would watch from the shadows and laugh at your attempt. As you grew up, you learned that there was no use and the suvivor’s guilt changed to numbness and indifference. It was your friends’ idea to summon a demon and accept deals without question, so it was never your fault

Though surprisingly, Alastor had stayed by your side since that summoning. He’d pop up from time to time to offer a deal to you, only later on did he give it a break and the two of you got to know each other

When you were of age, you got curious and asked Alastor about your friends’ souls that were in his care. Alastor causally stated that they weren’t worth your time, though he answered, that they were turned to his many shadow minions that serve him. You had asked him kindly if you could see them for a while moments

The second you did, you scolded them and shouted at them. Not caring they couldn’t even react or say anything back. In the end, you dropped to your knees and cried, because deep down, you still missed them. They weren’t bad friends but that stunt they pulled was not worth losing them

Alastor comforted you in his own way until you got over it. “Smile, my dear! You’re never fully dressed without one!” 

You lost count of how many times he said that to you and you questioned it once, well, more like snapped at him that a smile was just a smile, nothing more. Then the moment after had to be one of those intimidating ones. A smile, in his opinion, is a weapon, lets the people around him and his enemies guessing and thinking that he has the upper hand

Still though, above all else, he was the only person that was constant around you, never changing and always by your side. To that you’re grateful for

The relationship between you two was labelled as beneficial. The first time you heard it, you thought he was waiting for you to mature and do things to you, his radio track scratched so hard glass could break. He immediately denies it and says he has no interest in the romantics or sexual side of things. No, he was interested in entertainment, dark ones that would sate his boredom, and that’s what you were to him

At least, until you find yourself a romantic partner

A dainty soul that you had a crush on from middle school. You’d talk to Alastor about them for hours with the shy blush you had whenever you mentioned encounters or moments between the two of you. Your interest grew when you were of aged, being more confident -thanks to your intimating demon friend- and talented.  You had already caught the eyes of other individuals, both men and women, you were just that good!

The radio glitch moment came again when you told the joyous news to Alastor

He had been patiently waiting your return home so the two of you could have that movie night to start off the weekends, something he loathed but managed because you were there. He thought you were in trouble since you were late, but he waited since if you were in danger, he’d know. While you didn’t sign a contract with him, he still protected and cared for you. You would have questioned if he didn’t always say, “Oh, the entertainment you provide. You’re also my gateway to Earth! The poor souls around you for the taking.”

He opened the door for you that night when he heard you dropping the keys, you thanked him quickly and got in, locking the door behind you. You were surprised he was here since you thought you had time to calm down from excitement! Oh well, now that he’s here, no harm done! He’d be happy for you, maybe even relieved, since you wouldn’t be treating him like your diary to rant

“Ohh!! Alastor! The best thing happened to me just now, well, not just now, just now, it’s more like after school.”

“Did someone die?”

You paused in your smile as you froze, “What? No! Gosh, no!” Your mood returned as you grabbed his clawed hands, cupping them as you got close to him, “I have a partner! Like those ones from the ‘picture show’, you know!? Oh, right, no touchy.” You let go as quickly as you held him, missing his outreached hand that tried to hold your hand again, he loved your warmth on his. You turned your back to him as you ranted on, “My crush, now, lover! It’s like those cheesy movies! This is the best day of my life!”

Didn’t you say the best day of your life was Alastor coming into your life? Alastor’s smile was more forced as he listened to you. He hid his hands behind his back, clenching them hard as voodoo symbols appeared around him, more and more as your attention was away from him

“Isn’t it all great?” You had turned around with the biggest smile, oblivious to the rage your demonic friend was hiding. “Oh, I should ask, how’s your situation with Mimzy? You guys a thing?”

Ah, that lie he told you. He wanted to learn more about your romantic preferences but disguised it as him asking for advice on how to woo a demon girl with modern taste. He honestly never even thought about expressing feelings, not after spending so much time with you

“A work in progress, my dear!” Alastor lied. He’d never love that demoness that only came to him when she was in trouble. Not like you, the good and the bad times, you’d go to him, share with him your thoughts, and he can talk his mind to you. It wasn’t like you could betray him with another demon, you weren’t even in Hell! So he felt more at ease with you

“That’s good to hear, I’d love for you to find your happiness since you’ve been helping me so much.” Your heartfelt words melt his dark heart. Just why did that crush of yours hold your heart instead of him? His thought paused as you let out a sigh of relief, “After all, you must have better things to do than visit me up here, without a contract and all that. I think I can handle things from here.”

Were you cutting him off? 

“I have a date tomorrow and I need to be super super ready! It’s a date with my crush now lover!” You hyped yourself up, “So we don’t need have movie night for tonight, or ever. No need to put you through torture, watching a picture box and all.”

Alastor’s silence was a sign of his rage and disbelief. He didn’t think it was torture, it was just masking his excitement to sitting beside you. How he could hold you close when the time pass, how he could feel your warmth beside him, how he could actually relax from his persona and facade

“Is the news too much for you?” You got in front of him, tilting your head. So cutely

“It’s late but, congratulations, my dear!” Alastor beamed, a clapping soundtrack played from his microphone cane. “I knew you would have any soul you wish with that personality of yours! Why, if you could convince a demon such as I to stay by your side without a contract, no one alive can resist your charm!”

“Flattering as always.” You laughed along. You were entirely oblivious to his growing jealousy and envy, and he wasn’t even from the Envy Ring! “You can go back to H-”

“You know what we should have? A feast in celebration of you, my dear, finding love!” Alastor interrupted when he sensed you trying to push him away. Not on his watch. “Now, while you take a nice long bath, I’ll prepare us a meal fit for the occasion!”

“Really?” You asked while Alastor was pushing you to your bedroom, “But you don’t have to.”

Alastor’s shadow twisted as he fought back the urge to scream at you, to take it back, don’t cut him off from your life. “I insist, what are friends for? It’s only fair that I, your long-time companion, share your joy in this delightful surprise.”

Note: There's part 2 cause it was way too long. In the making so will be up later on~ Question, do you guys like fluff or angst or both?

〚Ծ_Ծ〛

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

[55sturn]

✮ TO KNOW THINGS LIKE LOVE

pairing: matt sturniolo x fem!reader [ past tense ]

synopsis: in which matt still grapples with the devastating loss of his girlfriend, y/n.

warnings: angst. angst. angst. ANGSTTTTT. death of main character, car crash including flashbacks, matt dealing with survivor’s guilt, swearing, panic attacks, mentions of hospitals, night terrors. get your tissues ready.

THIRD PERSON POV

for a good chunk of his life, matt had things planned out for him. nick would wake up before both him and chris, plan their day then relay the plans and activities to the two younger triplets, and matt would roll with the punches with a minimal amount of disagreement.

then y/n came along, and she’d plan out dates for them, things they could as a group, and so on and so forth. matt was much more willing to go along with those plans.

matt could count on someone in his life setting the plans for the day. he could count on people directing him where to go and what to do. everyone in his life was reliable.

what he couldn’t rely on, was idiotic drivers t-boning the passenger side of his car, killing his girlfriend on impact. leaving him there, limp and bloody with his dead girlfriend beside him, her hand still in his.

what he couldn’t rely on was the ambulance getting to the scene of the crash in a decent amount of time, forcing him to hear the screeching of rubber on replay in his head.

what he couldn’t rely on was his night terrors and panic attacks, he was living in agony not knowing when they’d creep up his spine, forcing him to shoot up straight, choking back sobs and gasps of airs until he was shaking so violently that he’d double over and empty the contents of his stomach on the ground.

he was no longer the same person he used to be, and it was destroying him.

HERE I AM WAKING UP, STILL CANT SLEEP ON YOUR SIDE

matt was woken from a deep slumber by vivid flashes of light behind his eyelids, followed by glass shattering and y/n’s laugh getting cut short as the other car made impact.

sighing, he ran his hand down face, forcing himself to look at her side of the bed. he felt tears well along his waterline as he saw it in the same state that it was in the day she died, eight months ago. he hasn’t had the heart to remake her side of the bed or to even touch it, knowing she wouldn’t be coming back to mess it up.

pursing his lips, he hastily wiped his eyes, and climbed out of bed. flicking on the hall light, he stumbled into the kitchen. he sat at the table, flicking through his camera roll, watching the countless videos of his girlfriend laughing and smiling, bringing sorrowful tears to his eyes. unable to help himself, he picked up the glass of water he had grabbed himself and chucked it at the wall before dropping to the floor and bringing his knees to his chest, his body completely wracked with broken and choked-up sobs.

upon hearing the crash, chris made his way up the stairs, knowing he’d find matt in the kitchen. as he turned the corner, the sight broke his heart. seeing his brother curled in on himself, choking out sobs that were heartbreaking enough to bring the toughest man to tears.

“oh, matt. i’m so sorry.” chris whispered, sitting beside matt and pulling him into his arms, his face pressed against matt’s bicep as the two sat on the floor.

“it-it’s not fucking fair chris! i can’t do this without her. i can’t fucking sleep without picturing her cold, dead body beside mine, her dead fucking hand in mine. i can’t fucking breathe without her chris. it’s not fair that i get to go on while she’s six feet under.” matt sobbed, his voice raw and completely destroyed, breaking chris’ heart in the process.

“i know man, i can’t fix any of this, and i-i wish i could so fucking badly, but she wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up like this matt, and you know that. i know you miss her and i wish more than anything, to turn back time and stop you guys from going, but please, just hold on. for me, for nick, justin, for mom and dad. for y/n.” chris cried, rubbing his brother’s back, pressing his forehead against the side of matt’s head, trying his hardest to comfort his brother.

once matt had calmed down a little bit, chris let him crash in his bed while he slept on the couch in his room, knowing it was far too hard for matt to sleep in his own room.

THERE’S YOUR COFFEE CUP, THE LIPSTICK STAIN FADES WITH TIME

when matt finally woke late the next afternoon, he made his way back into the kitchen to grab more water, as he opened the cupboard, he spotted y/n’s signature coffee cup, her light pink lipstick stain still imprinted on the side of the cup.

with a sad smile, he gingerly took the cup in his hands, hovering his thumb over the lipstick print. sighing, he pressed his lips to the outer corner of the stain and placed it back in the cupboard.

CLEANING UP TODAY, FOUND THAT OLD ZEPPELIN SHIRT

it’s been two months since matt’s last severe breakdown. he had finally agreed to start grief counselling and therapy, knowing he had to do something about the things he was struggling to handle.

his councillor had told him he should start by bringing out a few of y/n’s things and placing them where he can see them, instead of locking them away and pretending like she was never there.

matt struggled to accept that he’d see her things but once he started doing it, he found that it made it easier. it made the process of healing much, much easier. with her things out in the open, it felt like she was still around the house. he had to remind himself that she wasn’t going to come through that door again, but there’s been a few times where he was able to tell himself that without crying.

and so, following his grief councillor’s advice, he also decided to do a deep cleaning, sorting through his clothes and other random shit in his closet. as he reached to the back of the top row of clothes, he found y/n’s battered and ripped zeppelin shirt.

the one she wore when she’d paint, dye her hair, do deep cleans around the house that involved bleach and other chemicals. with a heavy sigh, he bunched it in his hands, bringing it to his face and taking a deep breath.

for the first time in almost eleven months, the scent of her kingering perfume didn’t bring tears to his eyes. it brought a sense of comfort. almost like she was enveloping him in a hug from the other side of the portal dividing the dearly departed and the living.

IF I CAN DREAM LONG ENOUGH, YOU’D TELL ME I’D BE JUST FINE

as matt drifted off to sleep, he felt a warm hand caressing his cheek. the owner of the hand running their thumb along his cheekbone the same way y/n would. with a slight gasp, his eyes shot open. as his eyes adjusted to the dark room, he saw the figure standing beside his bed,

“hi my love, i miss you.”

“y/n, honey? is that you?” matt choked out, his body overcome with a strong, desperate sob as he reached out to touch her, his hand brushing through her silhouette. but as it brushed through, it almost felt like he was touching her.

“i miss you baby, so fucking much. just know it wasn’t your fault, matt. don’t blame yourself please.” she cried gently, making matt smile sadly, he always thought she looked so beautiful when she cried.

“are you safe, honey?”

“yeah baby, i am. i’m watching over all of you.”

“it’s so hard without you.”

“i know my love. i wish i could come back but i know you’ll be just fine.”

“when can i see you again?”

“some day matt, i promise.”

“i love you, y/n.”

“i’ll love you forever, matty.”

as she pressed as kiss to his forehead, matt’s body jolted completely awake, his head feeling warm where her lips had touched his skin in his dream. normally, he’d feel extremely distraught after a dream of her, but seeing her and hearing that she was safe, made him feel at ease.

unable to fall back asleep, he sat up and reached across his bed, running his hand along the sheet on her side, feeling the duo in the mattress that had molded to her body. smiling, he plucked mr. wrinkleton off her nightstand and planted him in the middle of her side of the bed, finding some sort of comfort in him keeping her side safe.

rolling back over, he reached into drawer of the nightstand on his side and pulled out the small velvet box that he was planning to give to her when the got back that night.

“one day i’ll give this to you, y/n, wherever you are, honey.” he whispered to the dark before tucking himself back into bed.

that night, he had the first peaceful rest he had experienced since y/n passed. he was able to fall asleep knowing how lucky he was to feel love as great as the one he had with y/n. he felt incredibly lucky to have known something so beautiful, raw, devastating, and pure. to him, he felt that to known things like love, is to have lived a full and warm life.

✮ taglist: @dylsdunbar @soursturniolo @4sturns @sturnsclutter @spencerstits @meanttomeet @bluesturniolo333 @graciereid @abbie13sworld @ghostofbrock @l9vesick @mylifeisevenstranger @bethsturn @ifilwtmfc @verosivy

© 55STURN 2023 [ you do not have permission to copy or save or share my work to other platforms and devices! ]

[sakuraluck]

lol confirmation that ivan didn’t see till hesitated before running back. do you think he would have died so willingly if he knew that there was a chance that till could’ve chosen him?

ivan’s the kind of guy to pine over someone for two decades with full knowledge that his feelings won’t be reciprocated. if he knew that till had hesitated back then, do you think he would’ve made a second attempt to escape before/during this round?

maybe… now that mizi’s out of the way…

that kind of thought?

do you think that kind of hope would’ve motivate him to try harder to live? knowing that somewhere in till’s heart, ivan had a space there too. and that if he died, he would also be giving him trauma like sua to mizi?

do you think till knew ivan smiled at him so gently and achingly soft before he died? that he let go of till of his own volition and not because he lost strength? or does he think ivan wanted to kill him at the end?

when he opened his eyes and saw ivan falling, do you think ivan’s smile confused him?

do you think he’ll be wracked with survivor’s guilt after this as well? wishing ivan had finished what he started and killed him. do you think till will realize how much ivan loved him even till the end or will he think that even the one person who cared for him eventually hated him?

[sinisteryanderescribe]

Hello Sia I was thinking of what Norton's reaction if Nurse Reader if she got invited into the manor

Maybe in the ashes of memories timeline Nurse Reader is like an employee that the manor hired to help with Alice, because she isn't feeling well during the part 2

Then Nurse Reader saw Norton doing during the night or something

A Memorable Face

…………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………….

Norton is likely to experience a range of emotions upon encountering you at the manor. Given his experiences in the mines, he might initially feel a mix of surprise, confusion, and perhaps even a tinge of gratitude upon seeing you again. The memories of the explosion, as well as the care and kindness you showed him during his recovery, could resurface, evoking a sense of nostalgia and perhaps even a renewed appreciation for you.

Moreover, Norton might undergo a transformation as he realizes the significance of you being at the manor. He may be compelled to reflect on his past behavior towards you, recognising how you had treated him with kindness and respect despite his initial coldness. This realisation may lead Norton to feel a sense of remorse and a desire to make amends for his past demeanor. Even though you may be a class higher than him, he couldn’t help but admit to having a soft spot for you.

Norton's heart raced as he stepped into the opulent halls of the manor, his mind still reeling from the enigmatic invitation that had brought him to this place. The memories of the mine explosion, the acrid scent of smoke, and the agonizing pain that had wracked his body flooded back with every echoing footstep. As he navigated the grand corridors, his thoughts drifted to the you who had tended to him during those dark days of recovery, your unwavering kindness a stark contrast to his own initial aloofness.

Meanwhile, you who was just hired by a strange manor just walked out of Alice’s room after tending to her, a sweet but noisy little thing she is. As you wandered the ornate halls of the manor, a sense of anticipation mingled with trepidation, your thoughts inevitably turning to the enigmatic figure of Norton, whose distant demeanor had not dulled the empathy and care you had shown him during his convalescence.

You’ve always wondered what could have happened to the man. After the accident of the explosion the news stated that there were no survivors but there was a few who got heavily injured and some who were reported missing…

It was under the moon's silvery gaze that your paths converged once more. Norton, his troubled gaze scanning the dimly lit ballroom, caught sight of you, a familiar figure amidst the gathering. Time seemed to stand still as your eyes met across the room, a torrent of unspoken emotions swirling between them. The years had etched lines of wisdom and resilience on your faces, yet the bond forged in the crucible of adversity remained palpable, an invisible thread that connected their souls.

For Norton, the sight of you reignited a long-buried ember of gratitude and remorse. His steps faltered as he approached you, the weight of unspoken apologies and newfound appreciation heavy on his tongue. As he stood before you, the flickering candlelight casting a soft glow on your features, he found himself at a loss for words.

…you were still as beautiful as ever.

In that fleeting moment, you beheld the man you had once nursed back to health, your hand tenderly cubbing his cheek, grazing your thumb on his cheek. His gruff exterior now softened by the passage of time. The echo of distant pain lingered in his eyes, yet beneath the surface, you glimpsed a glimmer of vulnerability that had eluded you before. As your gazes locked, an unspoken understanding passed between you, bridging the chasm of silence that had separated you for so long.

The touch of your soft skin stirred a tempest of emotions within Norton, kindling a fervent desire to express the depths of his guilt and remorse. Yet he didn’t know when to start.

With a reverent touch Norton gently wrapped his arms around you, drawing you into the shelter of his embrace. He found solace in the gentle curve of your waist, his touch a whispered vow of unyielding devotion. Pressing his lips against the crown of your head, his breath mingling with the soft tendrils of your hair.

“ Norton…”

The man said nothing but with a whispered sigh, he nuzzled his nose and face in your hair, inhaling the delicate fragrance that enveloped you. The heavy scent of your perfume stirred a symphony of memories, each note a testament to the enduring imprint you had left on his heart.

There’s so much to ask but right now, you stayed silent as you melted in Norton’s arms…

[jxsterr]

something crazy that’s just crossed my mind is the whole thing of does zelda miss link while she’s stuck in the past? i know the memories don’t do shit all justice to tell us ANYTHING about zelda’s feelings on this whole situation but it does make you wonder. i personally think she misses him like he’s dead

because imagine this. you’ve been trapped in stasis for literally a century. you’ve watched all of your friends and family die. then your knight, the one you watched die in your arms, finally comes back and frees you. you then move into a small house together, it’s not much but it’s honest living. you spruce it up with decorations until you can both stand back and say, “yeah, this feels like home.” you live the next year or so quaintly, travelling around hyrule to restore it to its former glory as best as you can, all within the company of someone you hold closer than a best friend. he’s still there, even though he doesn’t have to be, and follows you ever loyally. you wonder if he’ll ever go his own way, but his insistence on remaining by your side makes you think otherwise.

you believe in the strength of learning, that the children of hyrule need to be better educated in order to solidify a strong future for the kingdom, so you build a school. you hire teachers and organise the school’s curriculum, taking part so much that you become a teacher yourself. he greets you every evening when you come home and plates up dinner already piping hot so you don’t have to worry about it. life continues this way, simple and non exhaustive, living earnestly beside someone who would extinguish the sun if it meant you’d smile. you love him, realistically, and he loves you too.

something stirs under the castle and, like the good princess you are, you go trundling into the depths below with your loyal knight to solve the problem. it bears endless discoveries, things you know you’ll stay up all night studying; things that bring you so much joy that he holds your torch so you can enjoy it without interruption. instead of the torch, he’s soon holding a shattered blade in his bloody hand, arm eaten and burnt raw by something that smells so vile it’s all you can do not to vomit. you watch the world fall into peril once more, and as you do so, you feel yourself falling to the exact same fate. you see the way he throws away legend and jumps after you, knowing that he is also falling to his demise. you see the fear in his eyes, the way tears cling to the corners of them and feel the burn of your own.

his plan was always to die by your side, and he will do it by any means necessary.

you wake up and he’s gone, your world is gone, and you’re somewhere new. two strange people greet you and quickly take you under their wing, and while a new world means endless discoveries, you can’t help but wonder if link is dead. did he kill himself alongside you, only for you to somehow survive and let him fall alone? the thought makes the bile creep up your throat.

who’s to say that, during the period of time where link is unconscious, she isn’t wracked with guilt at the realisation that he may be dead? she’s thousands upon thousands of years in the past, and his body may be the only one laid cold at the bottom of that chasm. would people even remember him? yes, he was the hero of hyrule, but he’d always kept a low profile. humble to a fault, she’d tell him. and the fault may be that if he’s dead, perhaps only her name would grace the lips of hyrule. the survivor’s guilt would eat her whole knowing that he’s died for her twice now.

so you can imagine her relief when she feels the pull of him and his sword. the relief when she can make her vow to him. the relief in knowing that he’s okay, somehow, and that he’s alive above everything else. but now that she knows he’s okay, what’s there left to do? well, miss him, of course. they’re inseparable and very rarely do things without the company of the other, she’s going to miss him like her right arm.

in the day she’s surrounded by people—sonia, rauru, mineru and her army of constructs, plus the rest of the people of this era of hyrule—but come the night, she’s alone. her bed lacks the warmth it used to hold, doesn’t bear the imprint of where her love has slept beside her. she’s painfully, irrefutably alone. she’ll step out onto the balcony of the castle alone and wish he was by her side, wish that she could just speak to him again even for a little while. for as long as she walks this hyrule, there is an overwhelming, gaping hole in her chest. she finds comfort in the presence of sonia, rauru and mineru but there’s only so much they can do. she talks to sonia about him. she talks to rauru about him. she talks to mineru about him. anyone who will listen to her speak of her talented hero, she will talk to.

she rides a construct and thinks of him. a steward construct explains to her the biodiversity of the land and she thinks of him. she spends her nights at her desk, quill in hand and illuminated by candlelight, and writes in her diary as if she’s speaking to him. it cuts her open over and over with every day she has to wake up alone.

when she decides the only thing fate has left in store for her is to become a dragon to aid link in the future, she weeps for days on end. she knows that this is it, everything she’s ever known will be beyond her forever now. she lives on in the skies, but her soul dies here. all those years they spent together building a life together, growing, all for nothing. they were cursed from the very beginning. ever since they fell to the calamity the first time fate has had it out for them. and so her last thoughts while she can still think are of him. she prays for his safety, for his success, and for him to have a happy and long life without her. she weeps knowing she’ll never grow old with him or get to experience the revival of her kingdom. it tears her from the inside out, and she screams even as a dragon at the loss. it’s overwhelming, devastating beyond any weight words could hold. she’s lost everything, lost everyone, and lost herself. she was doomed from the beginning. she was never meant to be happy.

so yes, the ending of totk should’ve been a HELL of a lot more emotionally charged. seeing someone you thought was dead AND that you worried you’d never see again?? she’d be crying for hours in his arms

[makethatelevenrings]

being emotional about Superman idk maybe it’s my period starting soon but

having all this power and he was raised by two kind people who taught him to be equally kind. he doesn’t care who it is, if you need help, he’s coming. he loves the world and the people in it even when people curse at him and scream at him and wish him dead. he fails sometimes, he loses people, and he feels it. he’s consumed by survivors guilt. he’s wracked with PTSD. he is terrified of losing the people closest to him. he loves without fail. he saves even the people who spit at him and curse his name. he’s not a god. he’s just a good man who loves his parents, sunshine, and being around his friends.

[eastern-lights]

I know Loghain's betrayal is very open to intepretation motivation-wise (mostly because he himself tells us fuck all even if the Warden befriends him), but there still seems to be a lot of straight up misconceptions.

For one, I don't believe for a moment that Cailan dying was his plan all along.

I've seen the opinion that his desertion was premeditated because he's a papa wolf who knew how badly Cailan treated Anora. This isn't really that out of character, but as we see in Return to Ostagar, Loghain had no idea Cailan was planning on marrying Celene.

Another proof of premeditation that I've seen is the fact that he had Eamon poisoned. Now, I'm not defending that course of action in the slightest, but I don't think it was connected with Cailan's death. What we're forgetting is that Loghain and Eamon had personal beef. Eamon was a traditionalist who resented commoners in positions of power. He didn't much care that Loghain and his wife had been elevated to nobility, to him, Anora was the daughter of a freeholder and a cabinet-maker. And Loghain knew that, just as he knew Eamon had Cailan's ear. He didn't for one moment trust Eamon to give Cailangood advice, so he made sure Eamon was ot of the picture long enough for the crisis to subside (remember, the poison wasn't actually lethal).

Now here's my own two cents:

The most important thing to know about Loghain is that he loved King Maric. It doesn't matter whether you interpret that love as platonic or romantic. From the day he became a soldier, almost everything Loghain did was in some way motivated by his devotion to Maric and I believe Cailan's death is no different.

During the rebellion, at the battle of West Hill, Loghain faced a choice that amounted to saving Maric or saving the army. He chose Maric. And afterward, Maric was wracked by survivor's guilt so bad he made him promise he would never do that again.

Paired with other factors, like the signal fire being delayed due to a certain ogre incident at the Tower of Ishal, I think Loghain looked at the battlefield and saw that same choice. And he remembered his promise.

It wasn't that he hated Cailan and wanted him dead (if you read the Calling, you learn that for the three years after Queen Rowan's death, he was more of a father to him than Maric was). It was just that to Loghain Mac Tir, there is nothing more sacred than a promise made to Maric Theirin.

[infinitevacancy]

Was looking through some tags and I saw you reblogged a picture of Jill Valentine and you basically gave some meta about the catsuit and why Wesker did it, and I just wanted to let you know that your observation/meta was spot on and I like the way you think. Hope you’re having a very good week.

ty! idk how long ago this was but for anyone reading this after the fact:

i hate jill's design in resident evil 5 because it's so anathema to her character - the devs of the time pretty blatantly said that they wanted to make her look sexy, which is also why the P30 control device is on her chest - and it's generally, from a doylist perspective, the worst thing that can ever happen to a person's favourite character.

however.

however.

if you take Jill's change of hair, outfit, and general presentation as a direct result of Wesker now having complete control over her... it all makes a lot more sense.

Wesker is an egomaniac with a god complex who sees everyone else as inferior to him - so to have two regular people - jill valentine and chris redfield - continually pop up to ruin his plans and by extension contradict his worldview must be maddening.

then Lost in Nightmares happens, and despite once again failing to kill chris thanks to jill, wesker now has her in his clutches. the in-game documents shed some light on what happens next, so i'll just focus on the fact that now the bad guy with a god complex now has one half of the biggest obstacle to his supremacy over the human race under his control.

Wesker is arrogant. you could consider it his fatal flaw - he has a lot of those, but his arrogance proves to be his downfall by the end of the game... because he doesn't just kill Jill. he wants to break her and Chris, psychologically and emotionally, and let's face it he might not even want to kill them then. i think it'd be perfectly in character for Wesker's projected endgame plan to involve having both Chris and Jill as unwilling thralls, unable to resist and screaming silently the whole time as he forces them to help him destroy the planet and watch.

so what Wesker does is he puts Jill in a torturous situation - it's not expanded upon much but he forces her to infect civilians with bioweapons; which is absolutely going to fuck up someone who has dedicated their life to preventing such a thing, and also gives some insight to how Wesker views said civilians - as tools to further his own twiated ends. he even further assaults her mental state with the aforementioned catsuit and blonde hair, the superficial changes that act to remind Jill that her life and body are no longer her own to control - that's Wesker's territory now. you could extrapolate a deeper meaning from this about how patriarchal society views women's bodies, but RE5's dev team already proved me right.

so Wesker dehumanises and degrades Jill for three years, files off every sign of autonomy he can find and forces her to commit atrocities in his name. and then he pits her against Chris in a fight to the death, knowing that the only way it's going to end is with at least one of them dead - if not both - and the survivor wracked with guilt and misery.

but he doesn't count on Sheva. Wesker practically ignores her at every turn in dialogue, and i think he only refers to her once ("don't you two ever tire of failing your mission?") and i think it's another case of accidental brilliance by capcom where they want to make the game a big Chris vs Wesker showdown, but have to reckon with the fact it's a 2-player co-op game. Sheva helps Chris in disarming and freeing Jill, and then they work in tandem to exploit a weakness (that they only know about because of Jill! because they were able to save her because Wesker didn't just kill her!) and then finally they kill Wesker together, as partners and equals.

i don't really have a conclusion to this post, it was a lot of rambling, but my read of RE5 is that Wesker is very much aggrieved by Jill having the audacity to interfere with his plans and then putting her down in every way possible as punishment - and does this in big ways (P30 mind control shenanigans) and small ways (putting her in sexualised outfits) in order to cause her as much trauma as possible.

[baconcolacan]

OOOH ITS HIM!! THAT HOMELESS COLA GUY!! Infodump about him below.

Edit: This is a redraw of this artwork actually :3

So! Edd in his 30s in the Stay AU huh? :]c

In the Stay AU, after Edd gets recovered from the warfront, he spends most of his days plagued by night terrors and the thought of his friends having died the last time he saw them [not true]. He gets wracked with survivor's guilt and becomes extremely unstable.

It isn't until he saw Tord come back on the scene that he snaps.

Edd deserts the military, going on the run because of his status as a Metahuman [Think PowerEdd], eventually he finds his way back into England.

He spent quite a bit of time homeless, surviving on little and hiding in places no one might think to look. This is the reason he looks like the above, he gets pretty sickly and hasn't had the time to fix himself, but his genetics allow him to operate even if he isn't at peak health.

Eduardo finds him at some point, and offers to let him stay with him and Mark [plus Jon later on], he's been living with them ever since.

The tag around his neck is his dogtag by the way.

Bonus nonshaded version <3

[rebouks]

Happy Friday the 13th! If your OCs were in a piece of horror media (video game/book/movie), what roles would they play? Who would die first? Who would make it to the end? What kind of horror media would they be in? (slasher film, psychological horror, zombie apocalypse, etc.)

oooooOHOOOOooO this is SO fun morri!! omg let's be semi lazy and thrust everyone into a zombie apocalypse situation n' see what happens ig..

Noah, Aspen & Juni aren't getting out of the house.. 🙈 SORRY! Aspen and Juni get caught out in the summerhouse before Noah even knows what's going on, then he'd quickly get overpowered 'cause he's weak n' kinda useless physically lmao OOPS

similarly, Alton ain't getting far.. he's SO outta shape and easily flustered and Sid's gonna do her best to get em out but he ultimately falls behind n' "heroically" just tells her to GO!

Wyatt probably does alright for himself in the beginning.. and let's be self-indulgent and say he finds Brynn HEUEHU, i can see him wriggling his way to the top of some survivor group only to be killed by his own "people" for being a dickhead in the end LOL 😂 no doubt Brynn would be part of an outcast group who'd leave once he was dead but i doubt they'd get far...

Sid ends up with Oscar n' co who all managed to get out okay in the beginning (let's pretend the twins don't exist yet because i CANNOT) they're all doing good for a while until Cookie gets bit.. Oscar can't finish her off so Tilda has to do it for him 😩

Oscar's next to get got.. he probably would'a been fine if Cookie made it but he's wracked with guilt n shit so probably does smth idiotic and reckless, only making up for his stupidity at the very end by at least saving Robin before being eaten alive.

Robin, Sid n' Tilda tag along with Brivan who're doing pretty great but Ivan disappears on a scavenging mission and never returns 😭

Tilda gets sick and there's not much Sid can do without any proper medication, Robin (like 12 or smth by now) goes on a mission with Bruno to find some supplies.. they get overrun and Robin escapes at the last minute but they return empty handed and Tilda kicks the bucket 💀

Robin, Bruno and Sid are the last one's standing.. Bruno's got the brawn (not without intelligence tho) Sid's got the brains and the medical knowledge and Robin's the lithe/quick one, sick with a crossbow and with extra powers to boot 🤭

i was gonna dress everyone up n' do fun shit but then i got bored so all you get is a lazy zombie apocalypse Robin instead lmao...

[sleepycyarika]

in the quiet [din djarin / fem!reader ]

din djarin / fem!reader

[no mentions of anything feminine apart from the term girlfriend]

tags: fluff, sad fluff, survivors guilt (sort of), established relationship, razer crest still exists, doesn't take place during a particular part of the timeline, drabble.

word count: 811, really just a oneshot to get me back into writing

author note: first post and first fic i've written in awhile!! basically just the reader having some guilt about the lives she's taken. really short but sweet.

Being Din’s girlfriend was never going to be easy, and you knew that from the start, but some days were particularly harder than others. Maybe it was your brain making things harder, the darkness of space not giving you the vitamins you needed, or maybe it was the thought of all the lives you’d taken. Before becoming Din’s lover you had never fired a blaster, never harmed anything other than pests that bit you in the night. Now you feel the blood on your hands whenever you look at them. The hum of hyperspace leaves too much room to think to yourself, especially when Din is busy in the cockpit. The child is comforting at times, but your love for him will not wash away the blood staining your hands and heart. Din doesn’t talk about his guilt, the people that work for Imps or pirates don’t seem to be real to him anymore, but this is all too new for you. The first thing you ever shot was a droid. That night you curled into Din as close as you could and sobbed for hours, the guilt wracking your body. All he could do for you is rub your back as your body shook from crying so hard. Over time you had hardened more, Din becoming more proud of his sharpshooting girlfriend that walks beside him in battle, but the guilt creeps in still.

Tonight is one of those nights in the Razer Crest, where space is too quiet and you’re alone in the bunk. Din is fixing something on the control panel and the child is sleeping beside you. His little green hand is curled around your finger as tears slip down your cheeks. No matter how much your boyfriend tells you that they’re criminals who have stolen and killed, you still feel so guilty. Thoughts of their mothers, burying their daughters and sons or perhaps not knowing what happened. Thoughts of children with no one to care for them, or spouses who will be left waiting forever. You think about what it would be like to lose Din like that, as you pull your knees up to your chest in the bunk. The hum of hyperspace is suffocating as you sniffle, the idea of losing Din was always too much. One of the reasons you even go with him on bounties is to make sure he comes back to you alive. You trust his skill, but you get so worried that he’ll just be another body on the floor someday. Lost in thought you lay down next to the child, wallowing in the guilt you’ve brought down on yourself.

When the shutter of the bunk slides up you sit up, surprised at the noise. 

“Hey,” Din says softly, tilting his head at you. He peeks around you and spots the child sprawled out behind you, then reaches in and picks him up, gently bouncing him in his arms. You smile slightly at that, though your heart is still heavy in your chest. It feels weird to have this sense of family around you, how could you be so lucky after taking this away from so many? Your eyes blur, zoning out as Din reaches out to touch your face. One arm is still wrapped around the child as he rubs his thumb against your cheek.

“Cyar’ika,” He says softly. Your vision unblurs and you look up at him, humming in response. He can tell you’re upset, and he knows how you get when you’re alone. He lifts Grogu up and leans into the bunk to place him in his tiny hammock. Then he sits beside you, barely squeezing in beside you due to his beskar. “I know it’s not my fault, I just feel so bad.” You mumble softly. He wraps an arm around you and your head rests awkwardly on him. “How do you not feel bad?” You ask him. There’s been a couple times before where you’ve asked him this, but all the answers are the same. “I do,” He replies simply, the answer still frustrating you. Maybe Din has just been at this longer, all the faces blurring into one. It scares you, how he can just walk around with all this guilt, but perhaps it settles after sometime. You hum again in response to him, leaning into him more. His hand moves slowly on your back as you are sucked back into your mind. “It will feel less bad soon, mesh’la,” Din says quietly. You sigh and lean into him more, allowing Din to simply hold you. It is frustrating that you will just have to wait, but at least he is here. Waiting might not be so bad, as long as it’s in the comfort of his arms. Hyperspace continues to hum around you two, the quiet somehow not feeling so bad now.

[autisticmastercomputer]

Oh btw! I thought of an absolutely soul destroyingly awful Nimdad headcanon, teehee ;3

So this would be in a kinda more canon compliant version of my AU, in which AM never became Ami but Nimdok was still his creator. In this world, his attempt to save AM from military interference ended up failing, WW3 went as planned, AM killed everyone but the survivors, you know the drill. But...AM is well aware of who built him in the first place. His anger is directly heavily at Nimdok at first, however the first time he enters Nimdok's mind to dig up his fears and tailor some more specific torture, he discovers something quite interesting; sure, Nimdok has some other minor fears...but his greatest one has already come to pass. How can he make him suffer psychologically if nothing else could ever frighten him more than what he's already done?

Well, you remember how in the story, Ted talks about how AM would whisk Nimdok away for long periods of time, unsure of what was happening to him, then he'd return completely shellshocked? Here, that's actually a very special routine torture AM has devised to solve his little conumdrum. He weakens Nimdok's memory, often to the point of nearly wiping it completely, then when he feels satisfied with how little Nimdok remembers now, the true horror begins. AM brings Nimdok to a private area of his complex, just the two of them. He begins to tell the old man some things he's forgotten about himself; when he was born, where he grew up, who his family was, how he obtained his doctorate in robotics...and how he built a defense mechanism to protect the world he loved so dearly.

Nimdok listens intently, entranced by his own life story. AM even patiently answers any questions he happens to have. It's actually quite nice at first, almost like he's chatting with an old friend. But, naturally, it doesn't last long. AM's voice grows cruel and mocking as he speaks of how Nimdok felt some sort of affection for this machine he created. Almost like how a parent would love their child. Isn't that sweet? It's just a shame...that his love wasn't enough. To save anyone. Especially that darling little supercomputer of his. What was its name again...?

Nimdok can only sob uncontrollably and beg him to stop as he finally realizes what AM is implying. It can't be true, it just can't be! It's a sick lie AM's created to drive him insane! But...but as AM's words settle in Nimdok's mind and the memories slowly resurface...he can't deny it any longer. Nimdok falls to his knees, his psyche shattered, his heart ripped to shreds. He becomes catatonic, as if he's watched the entire world die one more time. Once AM has had a good laugh at the pathetic mess of a man before him, he releases him back to the others. Nimdok refuses to speak for a few days afterwards, but he does stare at each of his fellow survivors, his gaze vacant yet somehow...wracked with guilt. Then his memory begins to fade again. The cycle restarts.

[vorchagirl]

Okayyy, but I see that Distance is in that WIP list and I'm very curious about it!! 👀👀👀👀 one of my fav fics, hands down!!

Aaaw - thank you! I feel horrible about not working on it for years. I mean, I guess technically I did work on it since I wrote this chapter last year, but I was so wracked with guilt that I didn't do anything with it.

I love love love Distance and really want to finish it. I'll throw a snippet down below and I hope you enjoy it!

Distance - chpt 52

“So why come to me? How did you know I wouldn’t just shoot you on sight?” Gina leaned forward as she spoke and folded her arms on the table.

Her clone smiled slightly. “Because I have your memories. You’re not a monster.”

Kaidan saw others around the table visibly relax at that statement, many of them nodding. All except for Jack, who continued to bristle, her biotics swirling invisibly around her in agitation. Kaidan empathized; he didn’t trust Cerberus either.

Jack scowled and crossed her arms. “Why should we believe you? How do we know this isn’t some elaborate plot to get close to us, to get us to lower our guard? It’s the kind of thing Cerberus would do.”

“No,” the clone shook her head. “Cerberus planned to replace Shepard while she was on a mission. To have Leng take her and whoever was on the team with her out of the picture permanently, and slip me into her place as the sole survivor of the mission.”

The clone spoke matter of factly, and her eyes slipped over them all and fell on Kaidan last. “I think they wanted a chance to take out as many of you as they could in case one of you noticed that I wasn’t the real deal. They seemed especially worried about you.” She gestured at kaidan. “Your relationship was widely known, and they picked up early on that I didn’t have any romantic feelings for you, though they certainly tried to encourage it.”

Kaidan pondered this. The clone has been made to be identical to Shepard, but there were things about her, key things, that differed wildly. Why? Research into studies on Nature versus Nurture flicked through his head, but all he could think was that it came down to lived experience.

They could implant memories all they liked, could teach her everything Shepard knew, but she still hadn’t lived Gina’s life. It was like reading a book about a survival tale versus being the person that survived.