#heart back. maybe that's enough?

[lovinggreeniehours]

also also not to be unhinged about arifer but takahara in og s1 with the shard of the night dagger?? him swearing up and down that he'll do it if he has to. he'll kill luc.ifer if he has to. he holds onto that knife like a lifeline. he even gets close. the blade is just a hair away from his throat. he calls it a warning. in og s2, the time to use it actually arrives. he needs to kill luc.ifer and absorb his lifeforce into the blade, and he hesitates. he hates himself for hesitating, but is relieved beyond words when he is interrupted. in nb, he doesn't have it. in his hands is an unremarkable rapier he picked off a suit of armor in cocy.tus hall. that is what he uses to stab the perfectly crafted illusion of luc.ifer trying to kill him. he hesitates, but he is alone, and he doesn't have time. he needs to stab it again to see if it truly has eyes. to see if it'll breathe with holes in its lungs, to see if its illusion of a heart will beat or stop just to torture him a bit more. he doesn't have time, but he stops to look at it. to hold it. he can't help himself if he grasps its cold, seemingly dead hands like a lifeline, as if starving and desperate. as if he were clinging onto the real thing. he needs to know if there was even anything trying to kill him or if it was all in his mind. he never finds out, eventually overtaken by the panic of being chased and forced to leave. he comes out of the water covered in blood. he doesn't know whose it is. later on though, he discovers that he doesn't have blood at all anymore. after all the problems resolve themselves, takahara goes home. there, he finds enough peace and quiet for the nightmares of his delayed victory to seep through

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i think i need a lobotomy

[lotus-pear]

regret

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Been thinking about the X-Files recently. A show I have a hazy, but fond memory of.

[eggsistential-breakdown]

Reincarnation Bluesverse + Will Wood lyrics

1.1 & 1.2 (couldn't decide which I liked better so have two of them) & 2

Fic: @reblogincarnation-blues's The Mirrored Heart chapter 1

Song: ... well, better than the alternative

3

Fic: @marypsue's What Friends Are For

Song: BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA

4 & 5

Fic: @marypsue's Something Borrowed, Something Blues chapter 17

Song: Mr. Capgras Encounters a Secondhand Vanity: Tulpamancer's Prosopagnosia/Pareidolia (As Direct Result of Trauma to the Fusiform Gyrus)

Kept these very fast and loose to try to break out of a creative slump. Based more off of vibes than silly trivial things like canon and facts and anatomy. None of these should be taken literally or metaphorically or physiologically or radiologically. Twice divorced gray eyesed Ian still lives rent free in my head sorry

[quirkle2]

ritsu!

[teru] [mob] [reigen]

[shakingparadigm]

Sorry for intruding! I love reading your insights on Alien Stage!

I was wondering...what do you think Till felt every time he woke up with his collar/muzzle off (especially at his absolute lowest point after the gala they showed in Round 6)?

Till probably knew that Ivan was the one doing it, since he'd done it for their failed escape during the meteor shower.

Till's thoughts are such a mystery😣

It really is such a mystery. Even if we keep speculating, there's still a chance they'll finally drop canon Till content and his thought process will be a lot different than we expected 😭 Still I continue to hope like a fool...

Personally, I think Till is a lot less oblivious than he seems... I'm pretty sure he's well aware of Ivan's doings, he just doesn't comment on it.

There are many instances of Ivan acting with no intention of letting Till find out (freeing him from his restraints, taking his things). Ivan steals many of Till's things and it upsets Till because he knows it's Ivan who's stealing it. That's the important part, he's aware. He's most likely not clueless about Ivan's other doings, too.

At first, Till was oblivious to the things that Ivan did for him, but as time passed he must've caught on. Even though Till knows that Ivan moves when he isn't looking, he doesn't directly confront him on it, instead bringing it up in a short graduation message ("You're the one who stole my pencil that one time, right?" This could be Till's way of saying I see you. Ivan cares for Till when he believes he won't be noticed. Instead of a lengthy message, Till chooses to simply let Ivan know that his efforts are acknowledged).

I'd imagine someone like Till, who fiercely protects his independence and has a lot of pride in it, would feel conflicted at the thought of being indebted to someone. Until now, he's only known people to take from him against his will, so he becomes easily defensive. Till is rude and aggressive, he pulls at hair and throws punches in retaliation to teasing. So for that same teasing boy to continuously be there for him even when Till has never once asked... even when Till continues to be rough around the edges... I don't think he knows what to do with that feeling. In Till's mind, Mizi is his savior. She's the one he imagines helping him up, reaching out her hand for him. In reality, his true savior is one he never asked for. He never asks Ivan for help, yet Ivan provides it unconditionally and constantly, content with staying unacknowledged as long as he gets to help Till and stay by his side. It's the same reason he steals from Till, hiding his things just to give it back to him later and act like he "found" it. Ivan wants to help Till, to "save" him (even fabricating situations in order to prove that he can be of service).

Till turning away from Ivan during the scene in the cafeteria can be seen as an expression of guilt. I do think that Till would carry a lot of guilt in him for not being able to reciprocate Ivan's actions and feelings. Even though Till finds Ivan strange, he cannot deny the connection between them and the realization that he is in fact "indebted". It's an awkward thing, and Till isn't the type to maturely deal with his emotions, especially if they're of the more conflicting kind. Till does not react explosively to Ivan's secret actions because he acknowledges that Ivan is doing him kindness, and he doesn't know what to make of it.

Whenever Till wakes up without his collar on, he'd know Ivan has been there. It's something that only Ivan would do. It'd bring him a sense of guilt, but maybe a little comfort, too.

[designernishiki]

it’s kinda funny to me how that dumb scene in kiwami 1 of majima getting shot and left for dead in the harbor was basically just added as a half-assed way to explain majima not being around for a bit of the plot, but they accidentally(?) just made it seem like start of a chain reaction where majima ended up feeling slighted and heartbroken after being abandoned like that and then lashed out about it via smashing a big truck into the building kiryu was in. and yeah that isn’t inherently a romantic thing as-is but then they go and add the part where majima grabs a hostess and performatively hits on her as in-kiryu’s-face as possible, she says she’s already in love with someone, and majima lets her go immediately, no questions asked, making a big fucking point of it just to say see THAT kiryu? I appreciate when people are HONEST about their FEELINGS. people who won’t just BACKSTAB someone who CARES about them to save themselves. is that so crazy kiryu?? huh??? anyway make it up to me get down here and fight me right fucking now

[silkjade-archived]

“woven in the fabric of your tapestry / cover me in honeysuckle memories”

[jtl07]

not sure if youve discussed drummer ava but like i think thats so perfect for her fr. get out all the energy. a reason for those fucking arms. also people who are both drummers and singers are so cool and talented fr i just love that and i think she could and would.

i agree with beatrice doing like polyphia level technical guitar its just so her overachieveing and detail oriented vibe

i am ROARING because Ava on drums would be incredible - exactly for getting all the energy out and there's something therapeutic about drums, both the act of just hitting something but also learning how to control and channel that energy, not to mention being able to listen to the empty space in order to keep time and to trust the rest of the band and have them trust her in turn - it's delicious, that is brilliant omg such a need for this now (i think i read a fic with drummer!Ava but honestly we need more. ohno. what have you done what have you done)

i can also see Beatrice going one of those explainer videos - maybe like those Wired "explain in 5 levels of difficulty" and every single one of the guests just falls in love with Beatrice, especially the 5th level who just completely nerds out along with her lololol

[moonchild-in-blue]

To be fair. He can’t help it.

NO BECAUSE I WENT BACK ON SAM'S STORY AND STARED AT THIS ONE FOR SO LONG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

What is that stupid shiny little earring, ugh. He looks so slay, I hate him. How many moneys do I need to save to convince him to ditch the hat though? Let your locks free Rapunzel 😭

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

had a human au thought of Barnaby and Wally. idk doing their taxes or going through bills together since they share a house & Barnaby going "hey we could get married for tax benefits and health insurance. wait no what if i want to marry Howdy someday? it's illegal to be married to two people." Wally goes "we could get divorced" and Barnaby gets legitimately sad like:

[qqueenofhades]

The extent to which the tankie-lite "America Has A Magic 'Stop Everything Bad in the World' Button and Biden Just Refuses to Push It Because He Doesn't Want To!" mindset has infiltrated this website, even among supposedly sensible people, continues to be alarming.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Sorry I'm a bit late on this, but I just wanted to say congrats on finishing season 1 !! 🥳

LOSING MY MIND AT HOW PERFECT THIS IS!!!!!! THANK YOU PIO!!!!! B'*)

[hellkitepriest]

i want to hear all your elaborate and niche gambits in the tags here people

[quietwingsinthesky]

i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.