#hed be such a bad parent but im still gonna get him pregnant

[brenbofen]

Getting Dottore pregnant n seeing him with a pretty little baby bump

(baby fever but i don’t actually want a child, i just really wanna fuck a guy n get him pregnant)

[jeanmoreausautismstickers]

my marauders headcannons <3

Remus Lupin

heterochromia. I don't care what the films say this man has two different coloured eyes tyvm. the left ones dark brown, nearly black, and the right is a light shade of amber.

DYSLEXIA !! my dyslexic little mate we can match. he absolutely adores reading but it takes him longer if he doesn't use a spell (ty to MsKingBean89 for the spell idea mon ami(e))

hEDS. me too king

cat lover. he absolutely adores cats and sirius gets SO jealous. I think he absolutely owned a cat at some point b4 he started teaching and he dotted on that cat

wears elastics on his wrists (specifically during hogwarts for sirius and lily, but kept wearing them after out of habit </3)

Sirius Black

hard of hearing. I think he probably lost it cos his mum hit his ears or screamed so often at him in close quarters. he'd definitely be vv resentful over it too cos now he's not able to listen to music much

audhd fr. this man was definitely neurodivergent but he must be just like me and be autistic and have adhd cos yh

he whined. loads. not like whinging but like genuinely high pitched whines when he was frightened or upset, kind of like Enid from Wednesday

adored kids but was terrified to have them because of how his mum was

this is gonna be controversial but idc. this man absolutely fancied Remus when he was shagging women, but at one point dated Marlene and Remus at the same time. it's ok tho cos Marlene was kissing Mary on the side

James Potter

vegetarian. refused to eat meat after he became an animagus because it felt cruel, but ESPECIALLY wouldn't eat deer jerky ("it's practically cannibalism, padfoot!")

mama's boy through and through !! this man LOVED his mummy. told her all about his friends and Lily

taught Sirius how to treat people and house elves better when they were first years. you can't tell me this man wasn't the reason sirius wanted to improve himself

he fought w sirius a lot. im sorry I love them both but brothers fight and like. even found family brothers. sirius is the most petty bitch you cannot tell me that James didn't get annoyed or frustrated with some of Sirius' habits and didn't begin arguments over them

so bad w kids until Harry. he was absolutely terrified of them, cos he never had interacted with them much before he had his own, my man Sucked at babysitting and frequently panicked whilst lily was pregnant because he was scared he'd be a bad parent

Peter Pettigrew

#1 James fan. my guy didn't go anywhere if James wasn't going to be there

become You Know because of his jealousy of James and Sirius' friendship

aroace fr. absolutely Disgusted w the amount of PDA by jily and wolfstar

tried to protect Harry for as long as he could w out being suspicious. he still loved James and Lily, and their son, and was just too scared to fight back at You Know Who once James and Lily were dead

a whole virgin, never even tried getting with anyone before he realised he was aroace

Lily Potter (Evans)

actually thought the Marauders were pretty funny but put on a face because of being friends with Snape

a whole pansexual queen

bought everyone in Gryffindor Christmas gifts, or if they were Jewish/Muslim/any other religion that doesn't celebrate Christmas she'd figure out when their holiday was and got them gifts

first person Remus came out to. and she accepted him immediately because she knows what it feels like to be an outcast

so autistic. her special interest was absolutely Jane Austen books I take no criticism <3

Regulus Black

hated his mum just as much as Sirius, but actively tried to conform because he was too scared to be hurt by her

was angry with Sirius for running away, even if he understood why Sirius did it, it still hurt him immensely. that was his older brother, the only one he could talk to, and when he left, it broke off the little bit of familial love he had left

in love w Barty Crouch Jr. I DO NOT CARE. platonic my aSS they were boyfriends, but they hid it very well. absolutely such a healthy couple before the war though. got together when they were 13 or 14 by accident, and stayed together until Reg died

actually really enjoyed being called Reg and Reggie, but pretended to hate it so he wouldn't be perceived as weak or soft by his mum

chess fucking champion

Marlene McKinnon

the flirtiest person you'll ever meet. flirted with everyone but was actually an aromantic lesbian

loved her family unconditionally, and constantly was going home on weekends to help her mum before she died of breast cancer

hated school, she was dyslexic and never told anyone so everyone just thought she was a dumb blonde

half Japanese, but her biological father left when she was a baby, so she wasn't really in tune with that part of her culture.

got bullied in primary school for being the "only dumb Asian"

Mary Macdonald

the most supportive person you'll ever meet

helped the younger POC in Gryffindor take care of their hair properly, and absolutely was like an older sister to all the young girls

not a mean bone her body

muggle born, but she grew up with a friend that had a wizard father so she knew about magic before Hogwarts

terrified of dogs, except for Padfoot, because of being bitten by one when she was in nursery

Dorcas Meadowes

a lesbiannnn. she was in love with Pandora, and they dated for a while before she decided she was done with the Wizarding World and cut contact with everyone

slytherin, but she was friends with everyone

loved Quidditch

oh she was a Pureblood but her parents died when she was young and she stayed with a squib aunt til hogwarts

took muggle studies and would hex any Slytherin who made fun of her for it

Pandora Lovegood (Lestrange)

a Lestrange until marriage

terrified of Narcissa and Bellatrix, but was one of the bridesmaids at Bellatrix's wedding

Ravenclaw, but best friends with Dorcas, Regulus, Barty, and Evan and was hardly if ever in her own common room

she ADORED muggle musicals

her and Dorcas met in a Care of Magical Creatures class in third year and immediately became best friends

Evan Rosier

really homophobic outwardly but was in the closet (for a HOT minute)

flirted with girls constantly

super protective over Pandora and Dorcas

had the worst penmanship and Regulus and Barty both refused to help him with homework because of it

managed to be the only Slytherin who sucked at potions

Barty Crouch Jr.

gay little lad with gay handwriting

LOVED cats. this man was the BIGGEST cat lover I do not care im right ur wrong. absolutely adored them

had a little sister who he was really protective over, she was in Hufflepuff and died during her 4th year which is what made him follow Regulus into joining up w the Death Eaters

daddy and mummy issues for days. bro never had a civil conversation w them

he absolutely beloathed Walburga and Orion Black when he found out what they did to Regulus, but obviously never said anything about it

[71tenseventeen]

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too)-8

Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 3, Pt 4, Pt 5, Pt 6, Pt 7

Warnings for sexual content, male pregnancy, non-hockey Sid. Sid and Taylor’s ages have been altered to fit the story.

Perpetual credit to my betas, @queen-alia and @icosahedonist as well as the GC and @ljummen.

They meet at a quiet pizza place at Sid’s suggestion.

As soon as Sid sees Geno on the sidewalk he realizes it was a mistake. He already has people stopping him and Sid can see the stress lines around his eyes as he glances up and back to the people around him.

Sid has no idea what the protocol is but he suspects it’s better if he stays out of all of that so he tips his head toward the door of the restaurant and ducks in, grabbing them a table in the corner of the dark, quiet dining room.

It takes another ten minutes before Geno finally ducks into the restaurant looking very harried but at least he’s alone. He immediately spots and heads for Sid, carefully avoiding eye contact with the handful of other patrons. He gets stopped anyhow and politely signs autographs and poses for pictures with a family of four before he finally makes it to the table looking more than a little stressed.

“Sorry, Sid. I was hoping since it Tuesday afternoon would maybe not be such a big problem.”

“No, I’m sorry. I should have known. Next time we’ll figure something else out, okay?”

Geno nods, looking very grateful.

“So…” they both start after an awkward moment and it breaks the tension. Sid gives a quiet laugh and Geno’s face softens.

Sid thinks maybe, finally, they can relax.

Of course that’s when a waiter arrives at their table and starts his welcome spiel before stopping completely and exclaiming, “Whoa! Geno! Hey man!”

“Hello,” Geno says cordially, but Sid can see the lines forming around his eyes again.

The waiter, “Braden,” he informs them as he shakes Geno’s hand and ignores Sid completely, is grinning ear to ear and turns long enough to call in the general direction of the kitchens. “Yo, Frank! You gotta get out here! We got Geno Malkin in the house!”

Sid sees Geno slump in defeat and sits quietly as he politely signs autographs and poses for pictures with what must be every staff member there… and a couple of construction workers who hadn’t bugged him when he came in. As far as get-togethers go, this is a disaster.

Geno finally asks Braden to please give them a minute with the menu and turns to Sid with a pinched expression, talking low and fast. “Sid, okay if we get food to go? I take us somewhere private to eat and talk. Don’t think this going to work.” He says it like he’s asking permission and Sid feels terrible.

“Yeah, of course.”

That’s all it takes for Geno to motion Braden back over.

It takes another twenty five minutes before they’re actually leaving the restaurant with bags of food and a pizza, Geno having left a generous tip.

He pulls his hat down over his eyes and seems to be trying to hunch in on himself even though there was no way someone that big is going to be able to hide. Sid follows quietly and they make it to Geno’s car with only a couple of people stopping him. As soon as Geno slides into the driver’s seat, he drops his head back and lets out a deep breath.

“Really sorry, Sid.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry for suggesting this place.”

“Not be sorry. Let’s just go eat. Hungry.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Geno turns to him with furrowed brows. “You ok? Need to eat and drink now?”

“No, I can wait. I feel okay.”

Geno’s face relaxes a little then and he nods. “Okay.”

He takes them to the arena. It’s the last place Sid expected to find himself but it makes sense. When they go in, no one does anything more than give him a wave. Certainly no one seems concerned that he’s toting a bunch of takeout bags and has a stranger trailing along beside him.

And that’s how Sid finds himself eating pasta and pizza in the Penguins’ team kitchen.

It’s Sid’s turn to be jumpy, glancing nervously at the door every few seconds until Geno explains, “No practice here today. Not expect anyone around or I take us to private conference room.”

Sid breathes out in relief. “Okay.”

“So—” they both start again and Geno laughs.

Maybe this won’t be as bad as Sid feared.

Geno is enthusiastic about any mention of the baby and wants to know all about Sid’s appointments with the ‘baby doctor.’  He listens to every tiny detail—from the baby’s heart rate to Sid’s blood pressure—with rapt attention and asks what seems like a hundred questions.

Sid doesn’t mind. It’s nice to have a conversation about the pregnancy that isn’t revolving around what a crisis it is.

He likes how easy it is to talk once they’re relaxed, that Geno actually takes interest in his life. He isn’t just asking questions to have something to talk about—he genuinely listens to Sid’s answers and asks more questions, seeming to want to know everything he can.

He asks about Sid’s studies at the university and Sid spends several minutes talking about the courses he plans to take and his plan to teach someday. In turn, Sid asks him about hockey and they spend a good half an hour talking about the upcoming season. Geno seems pleasantly surprised at Sid’s interest and knowledge.

From there the conversation turns back to the pregnancy and Geno asks if Sid has talked to his family in the last couple of days. “For a few minutes last night. I told them I told you about the baby.”

Geno fiddles with the edge of his cup. “They know is me?”

“No. I didn’t tell them that much.”

“What they say when you tell them I know?”

Sid shrugs. “Not much. My parents are still hoping I’ll change my mind, I guess. But my sister is happy.”

“Glad you have her, at least. Hope your parents come around.”

“What, um, what about your parents? Did you, um, tell them about…?” Sid glances down at his midsection.

“I not tell them yet, no.”

“Oh. Right.” Sid’s not sure what he expected and he works hard to push back the pang that’s threatening to bubble up inside him

“Going to tell them, Sid.”

“You don’t have to.”

Geno frowns. “Not keep something like this secret from them. Is just hard, try to figure out how to say. Worry how they respond.”

“You think they’ll, ah, be upset?”

Geno sighs and runs a hand through his hair as he leans forward to rest his elbows on the table. “Maybe. Probably.” He takes a deep breath. “Mama, Papa very close to me but they not really know about my private life. Just not sure how they react when they find out, you know.”

“Find out about the baby or…?” Sid feels like it probably doesn’t need to be said.

Geno nods. “In Russia, be with guy very bad. Not safe.”

“Yeah,” Sid swallows hard. For the first time he’s thinking about consequences beyond the scope of Pittsburgh and the NHL and he’s suddenly grateful he’s from Canada.  

“Not something I need to tell them before but now…”

“Right. Now I’m pregnant and fucked that up for you.”

Geno looks up and grabs Sid’s wrist. “You not fuck anything up, Sid. Take two people make this happen. Was my choice, too and I’m not regret.”

“Well, I’ll understand if you decide not to tell anyone. I mean, I’d get it.”

“Not going to be that way. Just have to figure out best way. Maybe not be easy but I do because it’s important. Besides, better to tell now than someone here find out and they hear in press.”

Sid looks up, struck again by all the things weighing on Geno with this pregnancy.

“I guess we should probably be more careful around town, too. I mean, if it got out it would be bad.”

Geno sighs and runs a hand through his hair again. “Would be very bad. Here, maybe not as much but Russia… I probably can’t go back.”

“Oh god.  You can’t—” Sid shakes his head. Somewhere in his mind he knew it but hearing it like this brings it into stark contrast. “I can’t be the person responsible for that. I won’t tell anyone, Geno. I promise.”

“Not the kind of thing to keep secret forever. Eventually, baby born and grow. Seem impossible to keep thing like this secret.”

“We’ll do it, we’ll find a way.”

Geno shakes his head. “You really want that? Not so sure I do.”

Sid’s heart sinks. “What do you mean?”

“Even if we could keep total secret, what kind of life that be for our baby? What kind of life that be for us? Maybe not ideal and maybe some hard consequences but still a baby, still going to be child for us to raise. Our baby, Sid.”  To Sid’s surprise, Geno smiles and it fills him warmth.

“Only know for two days and already think about baby growing up. Want to teach him to skate and play hockey, want to take him to family skate and bring him to games.”

Sid realizes he’s smiling too. “Him?”

Geno’s grin brightens. “Have a feeling.”

“What if it’s a girl?”

“Not matter. Do all same thing. All that matter is she our baby, our family.” Geno’s smile stretches across his face. “We gonna get to love our little baby and watch him grow up. Maybe hard, little bit scary now but gonna be worth it, you know?”

And Sid suddenly has to blink back tears because in all the time he’s known about the pregnancy, he’d never felt like he could talk about his future with his baby, that he could look forward to it. It had hurt that everyone saw this as a burden, nothing but a crisis to manage. But now Geno is saying things out loud that Sid has barely felt allowed to even think privately.

“Yeah.” Sid has to swallow. “I do,” he breathes and he means it.  

“Wouldn’t trade for anything now that I know, Sid. Don’t care what happen.”

“But what about the team? The NHL, Russia?”

Geno meets his gaze. “We figure it out. Not want you worry about it, okay? Just focus on take care of you and take care of baby. Most important.”

Sid sighs. “I’ll try. I, um, I have a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days.”

Geno’s face lights up and Sid’s glad he told him. “When? Maybe I find way to go?”

“Friday at three.”

Geno frowns. “Have meeting.”

“Oh. Well, I…”

“I’m sorry.”

Sid takes a deep breath and forces himself to look at Geno. “You don’t have to apologize. I know you have responsibilities. Honestly, the fact that you care at all means a lot. So, don’t worry, okay?”

Geno nods, looking a little miserable. “You call me, tell how it goes?”

“For sure.”

“Maybe we get together after?”

Sid smiles because this is just all so much more and so much better than he ever expected. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

Geno drives Sid back to where he’d parked earlier. It’s still crowded and Sid knows they can’t linger with Geno idling in a no parking zone so he pulls the envelope out of his pocket and pushes it into Geno’s hands before he gets out of the car.

“What this?”

“It’s not all of it, not even close but it’s part of what I owe you.”

Geno frowns. “Sid…”

“Not negotiable. See you Friday.” He closes the door before Geno can reply

Part 9

[freelytinystudentblog-blog]

Beginning

So I guess for starters Im gonna say i am probably going to remain anonymous for a while. Also this stuff might get deep and personal so ill change all names. Since freelytinystudentblog is ridiculously long im just going to go but Eve because why not. Im not trying to look for attention posting all this stuff but i need an outlet and what better way to do it than anonymously on a website where it probably wont get read. So if you do happen to stumble onto this page then welcome. Hopefully you wont get bored. I guess its time for me to start with the beging which would be about 3ish years ago when I was a wee little lass and believed that because i was 13 i was basically the shit(which i obvously wasnt). I had moved a total of 3 times which doesnt seem too bad but it was always when i got really attached to people we moved and i never spoke to them again. This time was no different. We moved from one small town to another. Being one of the only mixed kids there besides my brother was surprisingly positive and annoying. Why youre probaly not asking? Well because my hair was everyones interest. A big ball of poof i always threw into a pony tail because honestly there wasnt much else to do with it. Everyone wanted to play with it or see how much stuff i could hide in it. It was fun at first but quickly got annoying. While there was that downside to the town it also had some positives. For example it was there that i realized that i was bisexual. To be honest i never thought about liking girls until my boyfriend at the time and his friend were talking about how they were both Bi and i said it to fit in a little. I didnt actually believe it until i realized the way girls made me felt. How i always caught myself looking at their chests and their butts, and how i fell for my friend Taylor. She was my first offical girl crush. Anyway this is getting a little off topic though it was important. Like i said there were many positives like the cool friends i got to meet, I got into blood in the dance floor and had a little emo phase and met a guy i thought id be with forever. That all sounds good but with all positives comes negatives. I began to get super depressed and even cut a few times. I felt trapped in my relationship with Damien. Whenever we fought hed threaten to kill himself or say stuff like “without you id kill myself” which is a shitty thing to say to someone in my opinion. I started doing things id never do like sneaking my boyfriend over and all that. But the biggest neutral that happened was me losing my virginity. No big deal it seems but i was freshly turned 14 and he was 16. We werent safe there was no protection. I know losing your virginity is supposed to be meaningful but i dont remember it. I wasnt drunk or anything so i dont know why i dont remember it. Anyway a couple weeks later i snuck out and walked around town and ended up having sex again in the graveyeard(insert judgement here) I knew something was wrong soon after. I felt sick so i told him i thought i was pregnant. He paled and asked if i was would i abort it. I instantly said no because i dont believe in abortions. After that night things got weird. Me my mom and my brother went to Tennessee. Driving up the mountains i felt sick to my stomach which i brushed off as carsickness. We get back from our vacation and i started craving the weirdest shit like frozen hot pockets, whole packages of cheese ect. I caught myself randomly thinking about having a baby and got scared. I ended up having my older family friend get me a pregnancy test and surprise surprise i was el prego. I cried for about 5 minuets before shutting down. I didnt know how to feel i was only 14. I called and  told Damien that night and he was as shocked as i was. Later on he told me he started crying after we hung up. So a few days later i went home and told mom. She wasnt as mad as i thought she would be. She refused to let me give the baby up for adoption because it was my mistake and i had to live with it. I dont think i couldve done it anyway. No one really understands how attached you get to the little baby inside you. I believe the same day i told the rest of my family. My grandma didnt talk to me for a couple of months. I had an aunt who told me i needed to give it up for adoption because i was gonna ruin the babys life.I had another aunt not let me see my cousin Bri for atleast 6 months which hurt so much. Me and bri are like sisters we’ve been almost inseperable ever since we were little which is funny since shes younger than me. Damien was determined to stay in the babys life and not leave no matter what. Me being pregnant at such a young age wasnt easy. I lost most of my friends and began homeschooling which was terrible. The nine months of me being pregnant was basically filled with me fighting with my boyfriend getting insanely jealous, cheating, and more sex. We shouldve left each other months ago. Looking back i shouldve left sooner. It was a toxic relationship for both of us. 9 months later my baby boy was born. Mister Phoenix. My angel. It was kind of ridiculous damien and i fought even in the hospital. We brought phoenix home and i was hoping the relationshup would get better. It didnt. I caught him sexting his ex and swore to break it off with him. I didnt. I swore to myself i wasnt going to let my baby grow up without a father. In july 2015 we moved 45 minuets away. Damien came on the weekends because my mom picked him up and took him home. That laster all summer until school started and he couldnt anymore. It seemed like us being apart made us fight even more. By november he broke up with me. Now i was 15 and a single mother. I was devasted. I had no one to turn to since i didnt have any friends in my new town. I was alone and began eating my depression away. Every month on the 11th i would sit down and cry. I wasnt in a good state. By 2016 i swore to myself id move on from Damien and become an amazing mother but it was so hard He kept popping in every 3 months or so flirting with me making me fall for him over and over again only to get crushed over and over again. It was a hellish cycle but honestly im glad i went though it. Why you ask? Well simply because every time he left itd give me more reason to stop liking him and even hating him. Now he texts me and i just roll my eyes. Going through that definately helped me move on. He wasnt there for any of the birthdays and i honestly am glad. I understand its my kids father but i grew up with a dad who lived in the same city and still couldnt come see me. I dont want my baby going through that. Once hes older i plan on explaining everything and giving him a choice of whether he wants to get in contact with his father or not. Itll be completely up to him. Now before you start judging me to hard think about this. I became a single parent at 15. The father never visted his son or even asked. Hell this january was the first time he saw phoenix in Two years. Two thats ridiculous. After the very awkward encounter he hasnt bothered asking to see him since. Its hard for people who dont have kids to understand this i know but i know what im doing is for the best. This sunday is going to be his 3rd birthday and his father came up with stupid excuses as usual. Now i know i left out some stuff but some of it is hard to put into words plus if i added anymore itd be unbelievably long. So this was the begining and current i guess. 14 and pregnant. 15 and a single parent. currently almost 18 and still doing it bymyself just a little better. Thats all for now. Ill probably make another one soon about relationships while being a single parent so yeah. Peace.

[viralhottopics]

‘Rugrats’ Characters Ranked By Betchiness

For this weeks TBT, were going to take a look into the lives of the most influential baby friend group of the ’90s. Im talking, of course, about the Rugrats and, most importantly, how betchy or not betchy each Rugrat is. Is it polite to rank toddlers who have not yet learned to speak based on arbitrary social categories? Probs not. Is it fun? Fucking duh.

1. Cynthia

Heres what we know about Cynthia: 1) Shes a really cool dancer, 2) Shes got cool moves (as long as you move her arms and legs), 3) Shes movin out on the floor, 4) Shes ready to break some eggs (make an omelette Cynthia!) How do we know all this? We know it from her workout tape, which I am shocked has not been sampled by Avicii or Kanye or someone yet (dont listen unless you want this song stuck in your head all day).

Cynthias resting bitch face is on point, and she manages to look great in her belted orange dress despite the fact that she is missing of her hair. Cynthia didnt say or do shit for all 9 seasons of, yet she is still one of the shows most memorable characters, and it is her ability to do no work and remain popular that has earned her the number one slot.

2. Susie Carmichael

Susie Carmichael is cool AF. Did Susie need to appear in every episode? No. Susie had other shit to do. Shell check in every once in awhile to see what the babies are up to, teach them about Kwanzaa and generally let them know whats good, before going back next door to hang with her real friends. Whenever she does come over, the babies flip out because theyre like, obsessed with her (everyone is). Shes also the only person who has absolutely no time for Angelicas bullshit, probably because Susie has better hair, a better outfit, and wears a cool red bangle, which is more than Angelica could ever hope to have. Susie is three, which makes her older and wiser than most of the babies and probably accounts for the sheer lack of fucks she has to give. Did Susie get her ass lost in the woods when Dil was born? Fuck no, she was chilling in Paris getting turnt up with her older sister! Did Susie almost die with the Rugrats in EuroReptarland? No bitch, I just told you shes already been to Paris! Susie Carmichael always comes correct, and thats what earned her the number two spot.

3. Tommy Pickles

Tommy Pickles is the star of the show, which virtually guarantees him betchiness. Tommy also has the whole dressing like a slut thing down and spends all nine seasons of wearing nothing but a crop top and booty shorts. His outfit never stops him from leading his friend group on adventures, and you know once he can talk and operate a phone hed be the person managing the group chat, suggesting what clubs and parties to go to, making sure everyone is getting the free shots they deserve, and seeing you into your Uber at the end of the night. The thing holding Tommy back from the top spot is that hes too fucking nice. Hell let any baby with shit in their diaper come hang with him (cough CHUCKIE cough), and that means his friend group is riddled with duds (HI CHUCKIE). Be a little more discerning about your friend group, Thomas, and maybe well see you up at the top with Cynthia.

4. Angelica Pickles

We cant talk about Cynthia without getting to her BFF and designated Rugrat BSCB, Angelica Pickles. Angelica spent most of torturing the dumb babies (who were really only like a year younger than her) and making them miserable, yet still somehow being invited to all the group hangs, play dates, and brunches. Angelica spends a lot of time telling everyoneincluding the adultshow beautiful she is and is absolutely desperate for attention, probably because her rich AF parents never pay attention to her. Shes your friend who cries and starts shit at the club anytime she feels like shes not the hottest girl there (and she frequently is notthanks Cynthia!) Also girl, lay off the cookies.

5. Charlotte Pickles

Charlotte Pickles is Angelicas mom who is literally always on her phone. Like, always. Even in a time before cellphones could fit in your pocket, Charlotte is always on the phone with her assistant Jonathan (Cheban? We dont know) and ignores basically every member of her family to do so. When phones dont work, Charlotte straight up makes her husbands brother carry a fax machine around so she doesnt miss any important texts. Charlotte alternates between a power suit and workout gear, always accompanied by an Ariana Grande level high ponytail. In , Charlotte displays clear signs of some seriously botched cosmetic surgery, which is what has dropped her down to slot #5. Never try to cut corners on botox, Charlotte! Itll always go wrong. Honestly, Jonathan should have told you that.

6. Grandpa Lou

Grandpa Lou is another character who gives absolutely zero fucks and is down to hang. Much like Corinne, Lou loves naps and often falls asleep halfway through finishing his stories. Despite his old age, Lou is still a fuckboy, and is often seen hitting on women and generally trying to find ways to get laid. If had taken place in 2017, Lou would have definitely had a Tinder and that Tinder definitely would have had a picture of him from 20+ years earlier. Lou is eventually successful in finding a new wife, Lulu, who he moves in with pretty fast after they start hooking up (risky choice, Lou!) Outside of his strangely active love life, Lou also has many frenemies, including his own cousin Miriam; his bowling rival, Billy Strike Maxwell; and some other wrestling guy named Conan McNulty. This proves that when push comes to shove, Lou is just not very popular and kind of an old perv. Sixth place for you, Lou.

7. Phil And Lil Deville

Okay Im sorry, but Phil and Lil are fucking gross. Their diet is a mess, always eating fucking worms and mud and shit. Do you know how many calories are in a ball of worms, kids? Do you? Seriously. There is a episode where Phil and Lil drink straight-up toilet water. What the fuck is that? Is that something babies do? Phil and Lil also have no creativity when it comes to fashion, and instead just dress alike every damn day in greena color that is flattering on exactly 0 people. Their mom is a hardcore feminist, which is cool, but maybe the twins have been empowered to do a little bit too much. Like sure, Lil can do whatever she wants with her life, but maybe eating a giant pile of shit should not be one of those things? Idk. Seventh place.

8. Stu Pickles

Good Lord is Stu Pickles a sad man. Seriously. You have a beautiful house, two healthy babies, a cool Jewish wife who has managed to maintain her pre-baby body, and youre still fucking complaining! Look around, asshole! You have all this shit despite the fact that your dumb ass hasnt invented one successful toy. In fact, you havent even invented one toy that didnt explode and almost kill your entire family. You are literally #blessed but youre too blind to see it! The only thing keeping you from the bottom slot is this meme which, in the current political climate, is legit all of our lives right now:

9. Chuckie Finster

No. Just no. Im sorry, but again, its gonna be a hard pass on Chuckie. Here are all the things Chuckie would have to improve if he ever even wanted to hope to be betchy. 1) His voice, which is terrible. Do you have a cold, Chuckie? Go to the damn doctor. Its the ’90s. Hillary Clinton has passed the State Childrens Health Insurance Plan. You can go to the doctor. Go. 2) Grow. A. Pair. Dude. You know when Chuckie gets older hes gonna be your friend who calls the cops on his own party for getting out of hand. Hes gonna be that guy who side eyes you for doing molly at Coachella, making weird comments under his breath about how you never know whats in that stuff and generally bringing bad vibes despite the fact that Beyonc is literally pregnant and dancing in front of you. 3) The hair is a problem. Comb it. Dye it. Do something. Its a problem. 4) Tie your fucking shoes, dude. 9th place.

10. Chas Finster

There was no character on television from 1991-2004 that was less betchy than Chas Finster. He has all of Chuckies problems, but he is a fucking adult which means he has literally no excuse for being such a narc. Chas seems to be suffering from whatever health problems are affecting his son, and despite being a bureaucrat, apparently has no ability to get his ass to a doctor either. Like many sad old nerds, Chas must travel to a foreign country to find a wife, eventually convincing a way-too-hot-for-him Japanese woman to fly to America and be his Melania. Chas also has a double-Hitler mustache, which is 100% unacceptable, no matter what decade you live in. Sorry, Chas. Last place.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2mavumx

from ‘Rugrats’ Characters Ranked By Betchiness