#hell yeah under siege!

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

Honestly if I were Mace Windu and Palpatine tried to appoint someone to the Jedi Council, I wouldn't pull that "ugh, fine, but we're not giving you the Master rank" in some sort of symbolic protest, I'd just straight up say "Yeah, no. He does not have the legal authority to do that. Tell him to come back with a warrant.".

Yeah, I've no doubt that Palpatine would just then invent a law that lets him do that, but forcing him to go through the paperwork and political jockeying of doing that would make the point a lot clearer than "fine I'll do it but not because you told me to!". And it wouldn't give Anakin the misconception that this is some sort of slight against him rather than the Chancellor overstepping his authority.

Hell if you want to be really petty, say you'll "take that under advisement" and then just keep putting it off. "Oh sorry, Chancellor, we were busy discussing the Outer Rim Sieges, so approving new Councilmembers has taken a backseat for the moment. We will review Master Skywalker's application when we are able to hold a formal High Council election.".

[mugentakeda]

thoughts on Zhao ? are u as shocked as I am that Iroh never ended up killing him with his own bare hands ? do u think he was bummed he never got to ?

HONESTLY?!!!!! we have a complicated relationship. i really like zhao as a villain and i say that so very honestly. i think people make him out to be a lot stupider than he really is but at the same time he really is stupid in the way that evil men are always stupid. i think hes extremely despicable and hideously vain and his vanity clouds his judgement and causes him to make rash decisions.

this is all stuff we know about him already though its just that somehow that makes him come off as less scary to fans somehow?? but theres nothing scarier than a big loud man with a temper when youre a teenager with trauma from a dad like ozai. that agitation he so easily draws out of zuko is familiar to me.

i think that the way he makes himself seem SOOO above zuko while simultaneously licking ozais boots to get more power makes him even more ridiculous. and in an ironic way yeah because of all that i think hes a moron but unironically no i dont think hes stupid at all. it doesnt take a stupid man to work your way through the viper nest thats the fire nation high court. i dont think it takes an idiot to find wan shi tongs library and somehow manage to slither back out alive despite clearly lying to wan shi tongs face under his own roof. i dont think it takes an idiot to deduce who the blue spirit is. however it DOES take an idiot to think that killing the moon spirit to be rid of waterbenders when you come from a literal island nation in the tropics and your military relies heavily on its navy and you LITERALLY are using an armada to launch this grand attack

but then however comma yeah i do honestly agree with the popular vote that him going out of his way to harass and intimidate zuko is very slimy and strange and based on zukos immediate attempt at evading him this is something that has been going on for a While and the fact that iroh didnt notice or whatever really bothered me. Maybe its just because im an older sibling and i take that shit serious whenever kids are discomforted in the presence of specific adults (specific Men really) but whatever. i honestly doubt bryke wrote zhao with #that kind of weirdness in mind but that doesnt change the fact that hes a slimeball and iroh shouldve mollywhopped him right in his fat forehead. thats just what i personally wouldve done though like idk. like he is definitely the kind of adult i would keep a specific eye on because bitch!!!! hes just very unusual as hell and when youre a guardian looking after a kid then you need to keep an eye out for shit like that seriously

(one day ill make a post discussing how much more at ease zuko is in the presence of only women btw. One Day.)

and yes i DO wish that we got a missing scene or whatever with iroh and zuko after zhao Literally blew zuko and his whole ship and everything he owns up. like do you know how infuriating that is. waited until iroh and the crew were down the road to get zuko alone in his fucking pjs. a whole group of grown ass pirates doing all that with bombs for revenge over one bratty 16 yr old. i DO wish we saw some of irohs rage during the siege bleed back and forth from "anger over the moon spirit being killed" and "anger over you also nearly killing my fucking nephew" just as well anon.

and the fact that zhaos ambitions were centered on making himself more powerful and admired and he was doing literally everything to get zuko out of the way to make that happen when zukos reasons for capturing aang were so much more desperate and sad (not that that makes it ok but yall know what i mean). Like its just sooo aggravating and thats when i stop caring about how cool Zhao The Conqueror is as a villain and when i start wanting to pummel him with a cartoonishly large hammer

[wreckingtickles]

Stirrups 2 - The Revenge (NSFW)

A short, filthy sequel to Stirrups.

Tagging @wigglywormy and @unnacessary because yes, a sequel was indeed in the works (technically finished before the first story was out).

Too short. Why can't I properly wreck Kiri when it seems like it's the one thing I really want to do?!?! I don't know if I'll ever expand on this, but anyone is welcome to chime in. Give Bakugo ideas. He's probably reading the comments.

Words: 732

"BAHAHAHAHAHAHAKUHUHUGOHOHOHO STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!!! IHIM SOHOHOHOHORRRYHIHHAHHAAHHAAHAHAH!!!

"Yeah, now you are. 37 left."

Kirishima's morning had started out great, pulsating hangover headache aside. He'd awakened to a pleasant tingle in his nether regions, the disheveled mess he'd made of Bakugo the night before playing over and over, distorted and enhanced, in his dreams.

Unfortunately, when the urge to palm himself at the threshold of consciousness caught him, he realized that he couldn't move. Bakugo had woken up early and gotten into his hero paraphernalia, tying him spread-eagle to his bed. That pleasant pressure he'd felt? Bakugo pulling down his underwear and securing his fleshlight in place. And he coudldn't even see squat because a blindfold had been placed over his eyes.

Kirishima wasn't even given the chance to say anything before Bakugo began his prolonged siege of his underarms.

Very Bakugo-like. Go for the worst spot right away. No build-up, no quarter. Just make sure he breaks as fast and as hard as possible.

Kirishima was too groggy to put up a fight, too groggy to use hsi Quirk, too groggy to resist. He dissolved into laughter right away, melting under the fingertips that clawed at his armpits with frenzied vigor.

"NOOOOOOHOHHOHO!!!! NOHOHOHOT THEHEHEHEHEHHEHEREEEE!!!"

"Yes, fucking there."

"BAHAHAHAHAKUGOHOHOHO THEHEHEHE NEHEHEHEHEIGHBOHOHOHHAHAHAHAH!!! STAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAP!!"

"Not my fucking problem. You're laughing, Shitty Hair. You're laughing for a long fucking time."

He was ruthless. It didn't take much effort to have Kirishima burst into incontrollable ticklish laughter, much less when his hollows were under attack, but Bakugo was positively relentless. The closest things Kiri got to a break were Bakugo briefly moving to his feet - in a transparent attempt to have Kirishima's desperate squirming exceed his own from the night before, though this Hammurabi-like retribution wasn't anywhere near as satisfying as he'd hoped - and his ribs, which were only slightly less ticklish than his pits, meaning that the redhead's situation didn't really improve much, though whenever Bakugo would leave his ribcage (why did he have to sleep in his underwear only?!) to plunge into his underarms again, Kirishima felt like he was thrown into a brand new circle of hell.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! IHIHI CAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHN'T!!! PLEHEHEHEHASE!!! IHIHIM SOHOHOHOHORRY!!!!"

"Not yet you aren't," retorted Bakugo as he switched on the fleshlight.

"BWAAAHAHAH!!! NOHOHOHO!!! PLEAHAHAHAHAHAASEEE!!! DOHOHOHOHONT!!!"

But Bakugo robbed him of the ability to form coherent sentences when he began raking at his ribs with a back massager while scribbling his fingers into his left armpit.

Between yesterday's unsettled horniness and Bakugo going scorched earth on his defenses, Kirishima grunted through his laughter and let out a bassy moan mere minutes later, spilling his pleasure into the unfeeling device.

But Bakugo didn't stop. Not at all. "Who said you could enjoy this, Shitty Hair?" he teased as both of his hands were plunged into the sweaty hollows once more, gliding even more effortlessly than before, whcih did NOT mix well with the post-climax sensitivity boost.

"IHIHIHIHI'M SOHOHOHOHORRRY!!! IHIHI SORRYYYYYYYYHIHHIHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!!"

"Say that a hundred times, maybe I'll believe you."

And thus Kirishima was forced to apologize through the hysteria, with Bakugo doing everything in his power to make it impossible.

"SOHOHOHORRHEHEHEHEHEHE!!! SOHOHOHOHHHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

"You have to finish the word, Shitty Hair. Still at 32."

"AHAHAHAAHAT LEEHEHEHEHHAST TUHUHUHURN THE THING OHOHOHOFFFF!!!!"

"Why, does it feel like electricity when you're oversensitized and it keeps going? Sucks to be you, uh. And you're hard again?"

Not being able to see made it all even worse, although at least he couldn't see himself drooling, crying, and disheveled. But he would have loved to see Bakugo's expression cycle between single-minded revenge and grinning enjoyment.

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! SOHOHOHAHHAHAHARRRY!!!"

"58... 59... 50... 51..."

"NOOOOOHOHOOH!!!! HAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHHAA HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAH!!!!"

"Keep going, Shitty Hair. And don't you dare cum before you're done."

He cut it close. He cut it really close. The last notes of mounting arousal had made his last apologies, words disconnected from meaning, deeper, breathier. But he'd done it. 100. And the climax that he couldn't avoid was his reward.

Bakugo kept going through the pleasure – see if he liked it (and he probably did). Then, he stopped. He glared down at Kirishima, eyes fluttering in the afterglow, waiting for the oxygen to reach his brain so he’d be able to hear Bakugo’s next words.

"I said 'maybe', Shitty Hair,” whispered the vengeful blond that knew no moderation, his fingers wiggling less than an inch away from Kirishima’s terribly sensitive hollows. “Die."

[aravas-writing]

I need to write something ffs

A funnyman's recap of Blue Archive

Volume 1 Chapter 1

The archiving system of this game's story can be confusing, but you end up rolling with it at some point.

Anyhow, we begin this first actual storyline of the game by Sensei accepting a plea for help from a smaller school.

Turns out Abydos Academy used to be the largest school before desertification ate most of the land belonging to it, resulting in attempts at disaster relief eating through funds. This got the school in deep shit with loan sharks...

And this is basically why that school only has 5 students remaining.

What the fuck.

But Sensei is undaunted and goes there on his own!

Except the district is still large as hell, so they end up lost and dehydrated after three hours. Considering it's a desert district...

But yeah, Sensei then gets found by a student who winds up taking them piggyback to Abydos Academy, where we meet the Foreclosure Task Force, aka the five last students of Abydos.

Now, I will have the cliffnotes less detailed here BC certain details will be mentioned as I go along this story.

Sunaookami Shiroko

Very sporty

The one to take Sensei all the way to Abydos on her back

Wears a Sig SSG 556 "White Fang 465"

Rarely emotes

Has a fucking combat drone

Very attached to the FTF

Anubis, judge of the dead

Kuromi Serika

Tsundere catgirl

AR70/223 "Sincerity" (lmao)

Extremely stubborn

Very hardworking

Bastet, goddess of cats

Izayoi Nonomi

The curves on this girl wtf

Head of provisions (snack provider)

Wields her "Mini No.5", a GE M134

Rich as fuck, does not act like it at all

Will offer lap pillows to people she likes

Nephthys, a goddess of death alongside her sister Isis

Okusora Ayane

Idk why, but that one was the full body pic I got for her in search

Treasurer of FTF

The one holding the Braincell

Flips the table when she reaches her limit

Compared to her, everyone acts like a nutcase (slight exaggeration)

SIG p229 "Common Sense"

Heals by drone strike

Either Isis, goddess of birth, rebirth and magic or Thoth, god of scribes and scholars

Takanashi Hoshino

Perma eepy

Talks like an old man

Has a foldable riot shield

Seeming bing chilling, actually worrywart

Loves marine life, like whales

Head of the FTF and acting student council prez

Beretta 1301 Tactical "Eye of Horus" (guess what god she is)

These are the last members of their school, and they are up shits creek without a paddle. Under siege by delinquents and over 900 Million Yen (about 9 Million Dollars) in debt and with almost no way to earn money, plus the interest rate, things are dire.

At least the siege can be solved by Sensei ordering some ammo for all and coordinating a counteroffensive. The debt, not so much.

Turns out Abydos went ignored by the GSC for some reason (politics, probs) and Sensei is their first ray of hope in a while.

Sorta. We later learn that Nonomi is so motherfucking rich that she has a credit card with no known upper limit and could wipe the debt out in a swipe. However, principle of the thing, so no do that.

Bit dumb, considering, but they get by... barely.

So their next course of action to get some money is to find out about jobs in their area. Serika winds up falling for a pyramid scheme, so we all band together to fuck these fraudsters up.

Next suggestion: rob a bank!

Shiroko seems to be a big fan of Payday, enough so that her hobby is planning bank heists. Of course they need masks and a plan and new identities of this.

The name "Masked Swimsuit Gang" ends up sticking. (They don't even wear swimsuits here)

However, before then, a new threat arises! The loan sharks are a subsidy of Kaiser Corporation, the biggest corp in Kivotos and all-around assholes. The head twat hires a certain agency to ensure Abydos' demise and securing what remains of the land the last Prez sold off for loans.

They are Problem Solver 68 and they are....

A bunch of misfits

Onikata Kayoko

Listens to death metal

Loves cats

The one with the brain

H&K P30L with Silencer "Demon's Roar"

Very level headed

Actual sweetheart

Asagi Mutsuki

Nicknamed "The Imp"

Kind of kusogaki

Mischievous, likes pranking people

Will kill for the people she likes

Pranks the people she likes a lot

Her and her new year's alt has some of the most questionable Live2Ds

MG5 "Trick or Trick"

Igusa Haruka

The kind of girl you just want to swaddle in a blanket and protect her from all harm

Went through horrible bullying in middle school

Nonexistent self esteem

Described to have a dangerous mind

Grows weeds because she associates with them

FABARM SDASS Tactical "Blow Away"

Who did this to her I just wanna talk-

Rikuhachima Aru

That one Blue Archive song, "Unwelcome School", is heavily associated with her

You see her and think "badass"

Haruka thinks so; Aru put a stop to the bullying

However: she is a GIGANTIC FUCKING DORK

She does not recognise the Abydos students when they're wearing just a mask

Loves to act cool, panicking inside

She founded her part timer agency because she wanted to be a outlaw

Her schemes fly by the seat of her pants

She is a complete lovable idiot

PSG-1 "Wine Red Admire"

Naturally, problem solver 68 ends up befriending their apparent targets (they didn't know at the time) while out eating at a ramen shop Serika works at. All of that before they go and attack the school and fail to defeat the FTF because Sensei magic.

Aru panics and regroups and then meets the girls again! While they're in masks and on their way to rob a black market bank because if has the money they paid as interest to fuck shit loans.

Everyone but Aru recognises them, who thinks they're so god damn cool for robbing a bank.

It's unfortunate that PS69- sorry, 68 gets outta dodge because asshole McGee is assmad they failed to put the screws on Abydos.

Sensei offers help, but has to be kindly refused. Don't worry, this lovable moron and her unstoppable crew of one punk chick, one imp and one High-powered depression-run bomb builder of a school girl terrorist will be back

And, yes, that one is Haruka, who winds up blowing up the Ramen store because she thought it would help Aru.

Help this girl.

Back to story: FTF can't take the money home because it wouldn't be okay, so they leave the bag with blown-up ramen shop owner (he's okay, just a little singed).

Suddenly, invasion! Not by Kaiser Corp, but by Gehenna Academy, one of the big three! They wanna learn what the fuck is up for reasons. This time, I'll write what happens with each of the featured characters in the bullet notes because that is their only appearance in the story.

Shiromi Iori

Sporty, think Track and Field

Member of the Prefect Team

Very much for law and order

Hunts down troublemakers

Hot headed, spearheads the assault to Abydos and gets her cheeks clapped for it

One of the very few students canon Sensei acts lewd towards

We talking licking her feet (????), we talking bothering her with tasks, we talking looking up her skirt

Yeah, I don't know either, but she tends to send mixed signals

During summer event: "I'm not wearing a swimsuit so you can perv on me!" Proceeds to wear the skimpiest swimsuit the age rating can allow

Karabiner 98k (the deleter rifle from back when call of duty was still young). Hers is called "Crack shot"

Aaaa it turns out only 10 pics per post! Will reblog this with continuation

Oh btw, during that fight Serika tanks a grenade from a fucking Flak. We get told she just had to "sleep it off for a day"

What. The. Fuck. Are these students

[esther-dot]

Daenerys destroy everything she touches. It’s just INSANE just how much damage and chaos her incompetence, stupidity and entitlement has done to Astapor.

She took the city’s entire defense force, the Unsullied, with her when she left, with no real thought as to what will happen when you leave a power vacuum, and set up a council to govern the city that had absolutely no means to enforce its will or its laws. One of the men on the council is specified as being a “priest,” but since the clergy of the Ghiscari Harpy religion are only ever described as female (the Graces), it seems quite likely, if not outright definite, that she appointed someone to govern a city wherein he had zero cultural, social, religious or political authority.

She doesn’t leave military support to the council she leaves behind to rule and it was overthrown very quickly after she left, and the new king, Cleon, a tyrant, promptly reinstated slavery, kidnapping noble children and attempting to turn them into new Unsullied (this didn’t work, for obvious reasons).

Astapor ends up ridden with disease and famine the minute it falls under siege of the slavery-restoration alliance led by Yunkai, with competing claimants killing each other and trading power until they’re subsequently replaced. Daenerys learns about this once she’s set up in Meereen but doesn’t commit any forces to help, fearing that she’ll lose Meereen if she goes back to Astapor. Meanwhile, the Astapori practice cannibalism by lots and many eventually commit mass suicide. The pale mare plague wipes out a huge number of people (even refugees who make it to Meereen die of it in camps outside the city), and most of the rest are displaced refugees, killed when Yunkai eventually sacks the city, or re-enslaved. By the time Quentyn Martell arrives, it’s functionally ceased to exist. (A lot of people skip over Quentyn’s chapters in the fifth book, and in so doing miss how APPALLING the Astapor situation is.)

Astapor is a ghost town except for dead and dying people and enemy soldiers. A total blood bath. It’s absolutely obliterated, just on a longer timeline than a one-off firebombing.

The criticism of Daenerys’s actions in Astapor is not that she freed the slaves, it’s that after freeing the slaves she just left and abandoned them to their bloody fate. You cannot destroy a city’s government and economy and then walk away. Even if it is a terrible government, with an economy built on slavery, you have to stabilize things afterwards. Daenerys have a responsibility in kickstarting new industries and find a new form of PAID work for these people. And there’s also the fact that Daenerys herself is a slaver but that’s a discussion for another day.

(I know that GRRM has said that his books are not allegories for the Iraq war but the parallels and similarities are truly unsettling.)

Yeah, I’m gonna have to forbid talk about Quentyn. I just got teary eyed at the mere mention of him. 😂 I got attached quick and was horrified by his death. But yes, I agree, it was meant to show us how horrible the situation is. Absolute hell.

I actually thought Martin had compared it to Iraq because I've seen people say that, but you're right. This is the quote I found:

Q: A Dance With Dragons spends quite a lot of time in Essos, which is kind of the analog to Asia and the Middle East in the world the story takes place in, as opposed to Westeros, which seems to owe a lot to Western Europe. When I was reading about Dany, who has become a light-skinned, foreign ruler of an exotic land, it reminded me of The Man Who Would Be King, the Sean Connery and Michael Caine movie that is based on a Rudyard Kipling story. Do you think about these parallels — colonialism, the "white man's burden" — when you're writing? A: I've said many times I don't like thinly disguised allegory, but certain scenes do resonate over time. Other people have made the argument, which is more more contemporary, that it might have resonances with our current misadventures in Afghanistan and Iraq. I'm aware of the parallels, but I'm not trying to slap a coat of paint on the Iraq War and call it fantasy. (link)

I'm not sure how reliable this source is, but I also found this:

Finally, in a stunning revelation, when an audience member put the ridiculous question, “JRR Tolkien strenuously denied that his books were in any way an allegory for World War II, have you ever been accused of writing about climate change by proxy? You know, it being a bit of a thing in your works, the long Winter?” George replied, “No, I haven’t, not until now,” and continued, “Like Tolkien I do not write allegory, at least not intentionally. Obviously you live in the world and you’re affected by the world around you, so some things sink in on some level, but, if I really wanted to write about climate change in the 21st century I’d write a novel about climate change in the 21st century. Sometimes things happen that are hard to believe. You have to remember I’ve been writing these since 1991, in a couple of the recent books Daenerys Targaryen wielding the massive military superiority offered to her by three dragons has taken over a part of the world where the culture and ethos, and the very people are completely alien to her, and she’s having difficulty ruling this land once she conquered it. It did dawn on me when George W Bush started doing the same thing that some people might say, ‘Hmmm, George is commenting on the Iraq War’, but I swear to you I planned Dany’s thing long before George Bush planned the Iraq War, but I think both military adventures may come to the same end, but it’s not allegory.” (link)

This isn't about ASOIAF, but it feels relevant to this ask and some of the other anti Dany asks I've been getting. He said this after he saw Spielberg's War of the Worlds:

I kept thinking of the story as a metaphor for our invasion of Iraq… regular people trying to live their lives and survive as a technologically superior invader comes in and smashes their world all to hell. (That metaphor is very much implicit in the novel. H.G. was talking about the British imperialism of the Victorian Age, of course, not the American imperialism of the 21st century, but one of the strengths of science fiction is its ability to transcend the specifics of time and place and culture and assume new meanings for new audiences). (link)

So, I think just because he didn't have a specific invasion in mind, doesn't mean he wasn't criticizing the result of these actions or the ideology behind it. He writes a lot of material to showcase the horror of war, each generation has one that looms large in their minds, so we naturally relate it to that. He knows this, other writers do this, he as an audience member does it!

[azlan-snow]

RadioBelle Fanfic

Chapter 11

(Alastor’s POV.)

After our debacle, we went our separate ways. Waking up to the sound of gunshots wasn’t fun either. I teleport out of bed, wearing my usual red suit-piece to see the actor and cat fighting against someone. “What is this preposterous mess?” 

“We’re under siege!” Sir Pentious snakes by speedily as he flees from the scene. 

“From whom?”

“We don’t fuckin’ know! They just showed up here!” Husk fired off a couple explosive cards at the perpetrators as he shouted. 

“Step back everyone. I will handle it.” Everyone immediately cowered away from fighting and fled. I began to shift forms. “Looks like people need a reminder of why I am here.” But I never get the opportunity to. Charlotte places her hand on my shoulder and looks into my radio-dial eyes.

“You’ve already done this. My turn.” 

“Charlotte, are you sure? You’re the one always talking about how they are your people.”

“Yeah? Well, they should have thought about that before pissing me off by waking me up with an explosion.” She walks off and shuts what’s left of the doors behind her, preventing anyone from seeing the fight.

“Why the fuckin’ hell did you let her go there by herself, you retard!” Angel pinned me in his grasp, face filled with anger.

“She forbade me! What did you expect me to do? She’s the princess. And I suggest releasing me before I get angrier than I already am.”

“Whadda mean she forbade ya?”

“She told me she would take care of it. Then walked out and shut the doors.”

“Weird. Are ya sure it was the princess we know and cherish?”

“Quite. She still smelled of alcohol when she grabbed my shoulder.” Just then, the doors opened and Charlie entered, encased in blood.

“What the FUCK happened to you?” I ran over to her, looking for any injuries. 

“Relax, Al. It’s not mine. Besides ,if it was, the wound would have already healed.”

“That’s not the point darling. What HAPPENED.”

“I beat them up. No biggie!” She smiled proudly. 

“Wow, toots. Didn’t think ya had it in ya!” Angel patted Charlie on the back, congratulating her.

“Thanks Angel!”

“I have a question,” Husker says approaching her. “Where are the bodies? Do we need to bury them or anything?”

“Nope! They’ve all been incinerated!” Her smile was similar to mine: Psychopathic.

“Al, I think you’ve rubbed off on our sweet princess. Put her back t0 normal. Please. She was better when she wasn’t a psycho.”

“That might be best.”

[artzychic27]

AU where Austin T is a cute alien creature who looks like his Love Bug form, and he crash lands on Earth, discovering the cutest boy and his name is Jean. He becomes Jean's protector and boyfriend.

Jean is just out in his balcony (Because let’s be for real, this boy for sure has a Juliet balcony connected to his bedroom) when he sees a strange shooting star in the sky and witnesses it crash in his backyard

And Dejah handles everything with his patented calmness

Dejah: WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT HAPPENED?! I WAS GONNA PAY A GUY TO BUILD A PATIO RIGHT THERE!

Jean heads outside and finds a pink meteor. Of course, he touches it becuase why not? And it cracks open to reveal probably the cutest person Jean has ever laid his eyes on

Love Bug: *Just standing there*

Jean: Hehehehe, pretty alien boy in my backyard.

Dejah: Damn, I guess we’re keeping him, then.

Like the simp he is, Jean doesn’t freak out, because, again, there’s a pretty alien boy in his backyard speaking in cute little chirps and purring

But, he does go into Pansexual Panic™️ when he kisses him out of nowhere and starts speaking French (Teen Titans reference, anyone?)

Dejah: … Screw this. Alien, or not. Where’s my shotgun?

He explains his situation- His planet was under siege, his parents sent him to the planet furthest away, he crash landed in their backyard, blah blah blah, and his name is Austin

Jean: Please, dad?

Dejah: Uh…

Jean: *Puppy eyes*

Dejah: Are you gonna feed and take care of him?

Jean: YES! I WILL! What do you eat?

Austin T: What’s known to your kind as compliments and affection.

Dejah: … Alright, looks like you’re staying.

Fortunately, people on Austin’s planet are able to shapeshift, so he can walk around the city without attracting any unwanted attention

Austin T: *In human form* What do you think?

Jean:

So, the next morning, Jean takes Austin for a walk around Paris just to show him around, and this doesn’t go unnoticed by his friends

Lacey: Jean Duparc, when did you go and find yourself this absolute cutie?!

Ismael: His hair looks so fluffy!

Marc: I kinda want to hug him. I don’t know why.

Denise: Guys, I’m not joking, there is just a sparkle filter around him.

Cosette: I’ll just say what we’re all thinking. He smells like cotton candy!

Simon: I don’t mean to overstep, but may I squish your face?

So, the Science Kids love Austin and adopt him on the spot

It’s not long before Dejah enrolls him into DuPont as an “exchange student” and he ends up in Mme. Mendeleiv’s class

Just when Jean thinks Austin can’t get any better, he lifts Louis up off the floor by the front of his shirt when he heckles Jean for one of their performances and threatens him

Aurore: I know I’m a lesbian… But that was fucking hot!

Another thing about Austin's species is they're known to imprint on those they feel a strong connection to. In Austin's case, Jean. When the person they've imprinted on gets threatened, they lash out and neutralize the threat. And he can feel any emotional distress coming from Jean

Anyway, one day during school, Austin temporarily shifts back into his normal form while in the locker room. Unfortunately, Kim walks in and yells, “AKUMA!”

Because he’s panicked, Austin can’t shapeshift back into his disguised form without shifting back, and when Ladybug and Chat Noir see that there is no Akuma, people will learn Austin’s an alien and he’ll be taken away

And Jean definitely can’t fake Austin being akumatized on his own so… He’s gotta tell his friends

Jean: Guys… Austin’s an alien.

Cosette: We know.

Jean: You knew?!

Simon: You think you were fooling us with that “exchange student” bit? Please, think better of us.

Lacey: Also, I saw his eyes turn pink.

Mireille: He purrs.

Marc: He doesn’t know what an apple is.

Zoé: He knows an awful lot about astronomy.

Aurore: He wasn’t sneaky with the shapeshifting, becuase he had two right hands.

Cosette: And he was clueless in biology class.

Marc: But, yeah, we’ll help you. I just hinted to Nathaniel that I’d like him to make me origami butterflies, one white and one purple.

Ismael: And I’ve got purple smoke bombs. Just give me the cue.

Denise: What about the Miracle Cure?

Ismael: Ah, I don’t know, just flip a few things over and then quickly put them back upright while the ladybugs are going around. I think we’re set.

It works!

Now there are more people who can create cover stories for Austin! And it comes in handy during that time of the month when adolescents on Austin’s planet turn into ravenous less-than-adorable versions of themselves and become very possessive of those they’ve imprinted on (Or go out seeking potential mates if they haven't imprinted yet)

[swaines-attempt]

Okay. So I just reread Batman: The Dark Knight Strikes Again. And I do not have the time or patience to write a well-informed opinion on everything going on with it so instead I'm gonna talk about Arkham Asylum.

Frickin. Arkham Asylum only appears for these two panels. And it is a glorious, glorious mess.

Okay, the inmates rioted and took hostages. Sure, happens all the time. But.

They started eating people. Like, collectively. Not just some of them, the only source of food in the Asylum is hostages.

Gallons and gallons of steak sauce.

They've been at this for five years.

No one has ever done anything about it.

This is a totalitarian society that has Superman under its thumb and its just like "yeah arkham can do their thing its fine :)"

Their demands.

(I'm not touching the ones that imply SA).

Pets and entertainment centers and exotic insects. Somewhere in cannibal hell Arkham, Polka-Dot Man has a dalmatian and an xbox and is living his best life.

The only people we have confirmed to be in Arkham for this are Riddler and Solomon Grundy.

(And Plastic Man but he's stuck in egg form)

The Riddler, famous proponent of cannibalism.

Wait a fucking minute the Joker is in prison at the start of Dark Knight part one. Why the hell wasn't he in Arkham for this shitshow. The one day they decide to put Joker in the drunk tank instead of Arkham happens to be the same day this shit starts.

People escape from Arkham. That's its entire thing. Why are they still in there. There clearly hasn't been a siege keeping them in there for five years. They can leave whenever they want. They all agreed to keep this shit going.

Riddler being in cannibal hell Arkham is therefore consensual.

And finally:

Arkham Asylum, everyone.

[definesanity]

Sorry for the delay in doing this, was busy trying to finish that email yesterday...still ain't done with it lol.

Hello, first I am sorry for the length of this, but these ideas have been rotting my brain for quite a while so I figured I would share them with you.

First is a Mohg reader, the reader bearing the dark gray or black skin of Mohg, along with many of his horns and his claws and wings.

The reader has taken an underground area and made it similar to Mohgwyn mausoleum, although the area is bathed in their own blood, a mutative ichor that is styled like galaxies and cosmos, that has warped and changed the environment around the looming ruins.

While I am not the biggest fan of Imposter aus, I read them when I feel the need for angst but have no interest in writing one myself, perhaps it could be a part of one where the Acolytes realize they have been mistaken when they see the Ichor bathed land and The Lord Of Blood offering their Ichor to those who remained loyal to them, anointing them as Knights of a New Dynasty.

Perhaps they could wish to use the Tsaritsa or even the Unknown God, who may be an extremist in terms of loyalty to the creator and simply allows her extremism and fanaticism to color how she handles the world she oversees, as their consort for a new dynasty of their own.

Imagine everyone's reaction to seeing Asmoday, a fan name for the Unknown God, calmly sitting down beside the Lord Of Blood as they anoint their new knights, smiling mockingly at the acolytes for their failure, their actions proving her words that mortals and immortals alike are worthless before divinity.

Outside of that, the Lord Of Blood Reader is decidedly a bit crueler than most others, but they are also a fair ruler, welcoming the suggestions and critiques of their servants and vassals.

There could also be something of a moment where a child works up the nerve to ask them to ad a sick pet or parent, everyone watches with horror as they wait for the reader to slay the child...only for them to nod at the child and accompany them. They also start training the hilibros and coaching them in who to fight and build up their own forces to make them their personal soldiers.

The Abyss finds it hilarious, and so does Asmoday, her finding that idea that 'near mindless brutes and relics of a failed kingdom' are held in a higher standing than supposedly ever devout acolytes to be endlessly amusing.

Another idea is a Miquella reader, who is teleported with the Haligtree and its inhabitants, along with the Albinaurics, to Teyvat. The acolytes try and siege the tree thinking it is keeping their creator prisoner, with the exception of the Tsaritsa who sends diplomats because she is an 'ask questions before you shoot' type of leader in my eyes.

The assault...yeah it goes to shit. Forces are slaughtered by Cleanrot Knights, Omens (I like to imagine an Au where Mohg made an alliance with Miquella and Malenia as opposed to being...well himself and wound up working to elevate Miquella to godhood to have his backing for a new dynasty that would aid in governing a world free of the Outer Gods.), Albinaurics, Revenants (May they all burn in hell), and a certain 'Blade' who basically beats the living shit out of everyone.

They flee with their tails between their legs, now significantly less in number, unaware of the shitshow that is about to be unleashed as Malenia decides to go on a very enthusiastic walk across Teyvat...just like she did through the Lands Between.

My last one, for now, came to me while I was thinking of just how big a threat the Eremites could be if they were all rallied under one leader, taught how to rebuild and use Deshret's tech, and trained in proper warfare.

So my dumbass decided to go with an AU where Lumine wakes up a bit earlier than in canon, and in the Deserts of Sumeru as opposed to off Mondstadts shores. This Lumine was once one of her people best warriors, if not their best, though given the deeds her and hers were made to perform...the title is bittersweet to her.

She winds up finding a ruin of Deshrets and become intrigued by the tech that, while primitive by her own kinds standards, is still impressive enough to warrant her spending some time studying it.

A younger Babel and her followers find her repairing many of the constructs of Deshret and using them to repair the building, with Babel asking her how she understands the technology enough to do that.

One thing leads to another and Lumine makes a deal with Babel; you help me and I'll help you. If Babel will help her to gain a powerbase and a safe haven in Teyvat, then she will help her and hers with unlocking the secrets of the Scarlet King and unifying their people.

However, one thing leads to another and Lumine soon becomes much more than an IT and HR consultant as she begins to not only aid in training the Eremits, but she even begins to teach them how to build permanent settlements of their own in addition to how to farm in the arid landscape.

Soon she is labelled by some as 'The Second Coming of The Scarlet King' and by others as 'The Star Given Queen', as she begins to work with Babel to make the Eremites into something truly dangerous out of respect for them and a desire to have some allies in her corner.

Eventually, she even winds up courting Babel and becoming something of a formal leader to the people as she rallies them to her banner, beginning to forge a kingdom of Eremite warriors, armed with Deshret's tech and her peoples training in addition to their own, within the wastes.

Eventually she leaves the land to begin searching for clues to her brother and just what happened all those years ago, leaving Babel in charge with the promise of regular check ins, teleport waypoints get abused by her so much, but not before the Akademiya provoke her into a battle.

It does not end well...for the Akademiya that is.

So what do you think? Again sorry for the length of this message, I am apparently incapable of short and sweet messages lol.

Nah, it's alright xd

Well, as I was saying:

Mohg!Reader probably knew that their downfall may have ties to the fact that they never listened to others, and merely went by the words of the Formless Mother. As such, as you said, they will keep an ear open to advice this time around as they build their Dynasty once more.

Those even cursed shall be accepted; the Formless Mother has no hold over them anymore. Yet that does not mean that their strength has faded. No, in fact, the Lord of Blood is stronger than ever. Strong enough now, to not only see the coming of their Dynasty, but to bring it forth as well.

The Dynasty of Mohgwyn.

Next, Miquella!Reader. I feel that, alongside The Tsaritsa, Nahida would also bring forth a diplomatic approach via dreams. Miquella!Reader, as even St. Trina, is well tuned with dreams, and so the two confer and agree to meet in person.

As for Malenia, Blade of Miquella; I hope Miquella!Reader can convince her not to go on her very enthusiastic walk through Teyvat. They strive for the living, and them being dead won't help xd

With you saying about Lumine, I don't think I can add anything since, well, I think it's good as is :D

But, I do hope Lumine can also find help in other people; perhaps Faruzan, well knowing of ancient machinery, and Layla, to help her knowledge of the many stars and Constellations of Teyvat. Even to people like Cyno, who she would help track down criminals, to gifting Tighnari the more rarer materials in the desert and helping Collei with her studying.

The Grand Sage does not like her? Well, tough luck. She isn't going just yet :3

Still, thanks for the post (and me eating my own words with Lumine's segment xd). You truly have quite the food for thought, my friend! :D

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

Wise Words.

That's about the tail end of my report...From Mr Taichi Fujisaki's perspective, he has the Tower on lockdown. Though if we want to make sure this assault on Zetsubou's factory base works, we'll need to output supplies and resources from here at the Tower, while also leaving it relatively unguarded.

Upon spreading this news, Ms Mona, Ms Iruma, Mr Keebo and Ms Mii-Yu have all offered to stay behind and hold the fort.

Thank you Hifumi.

Are we sure that's a good idea? Considering the circumstances, we really could use Keebo and Mii-Yu's firepower.

If we can only leave a handful of fighters here at the Tower, it would be best to make sure they have enough firepower on their own to take down any Zetsubou forces.

Hm...True...Alright then...

So, what's the plan? We've managed to scrape together...enough...forces...So now all we need is a game plan.

Yes. Remember all, we're on a time limit. We need to make sure we siege that base and destroy it under 24 hours, otherwise, the world as we know it is doomed.

And probably less time than that assuming Makoto hasn't already gotten himself killed...

...

Speaking of Makoto, what the hell are we even gonna do about him? Honestly I'm...I'm a little bit worried about what might happen...

Huh? Why? What's wrong?

I believe I know what she's talking about.

Makoto was so opposed to the siege plan earlier, he attacked one of his own, hoping to prevent it. If we go charging into Zetsubou's base assuming he's still on his mission...

...It's not impossible that he might attack us to get us to leave.

...

But it's Makoto. Sure, he's a lot stronger than he was, but if we were to all team up-

Are you guys seriously considerin' the idea of FIGHTING Makoto!? Yeah, he's off his rocker, but this is the kinda situation where throwing punches ain't gonna help!

If anything...We might ruin every chance we have at gettin' the old Makoto back...

Mondo...

Look, I ain't a complete meathead...I value my friends more than I do a good fight...

And yeah, sure, I do wanna rip him a new one for strangling my boyfriend, but...

...He's still my friend too...I'm going after him because I DON'T WANNA lose him...

...Mondo's right...My brother isn't himself, and he's doing stupid things for the sake of protecting us, because he thinks he's in the right...And as hard as it is to admit, I've been there too...And in the end, I was the one in the wrong...

It's not even than Makoto thinks we're unreliable...He's putting far more pressure on himself than he should be, since he's so obsessed with being the one to end all this...Why, I couldn't imagine...

...

Hello? Earth to Chairwoman...?

...Sorry...I'm just trying to think...

Makoto we'll deal with in our own time...For now, our priority should be Zetsubou and Shirogane, as well as the Survivors...

...I understand but...isn't that a little cold?

[horrendous-bisexual-showdown]

Poll 3

Princess Andromeda of Space (She/Her) by @shrimps-4-swords

Why Should Your OC Win?

Because shes So Sad Ok shes an immortal constellation space princess bc her mum used her in a scheme to gain a whole ton of cosmic power that she just got dragged along with and for the next few millenia she kept getting her memory erased every time she regained enough free will to strike out on her own so shes stuck in an eternal hell loop of Being Fifteen and THEN midway through a convoluted errand to help her mum cement her power once and for all she meets this lovely human girl and she falls head over heels for the first time and just when her life looks like its taking a turn for the better and she's actually having like a great time OH NO all threats to the space throne whatever have to be eliminated and bc mummy issues and no memory of why this may not be the Best Idea Ever she gets peer pressured into emotionally and literally stabbing her gf in the back and OH NO BACK TO SPACE PALACE YOU GO YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO REMEMBER THAT ANY OF THIS HAPPENED so yeah real sad times there

also i first made her up when i was like 11 and i keep making her life worse so i feel like i owe it to her yk <3

What is Your OC Like?

driven, practical, confident and loyal (to the wrong people)

when she gets a little more space to express herself it is revealed she's actually a bit of a dork with a fondness for cute animal plushies and watercolour painting.

she's even bisexual.

Reshi (He/Him) by @bunsterkeaton

Why Should Your OC Win?

Reshi caused an entire planet to be under siege because he was mad at his ex

What is Your OC Like?

Reshi is a transmasc chiss with a love for architecture and the art of mapping, he wants to start a new life; he's fallen in love! And has kids! But, blood tends to find blood, he cannot escape his family. Reshi's character arc is about being haunted by terrible people who raise you and terrible people who love you and the revenge that you want to follow from becoming a First Order Captain to the General of his own Rebellion, Reshi descends further into hatred and his own obsessive madness.

[nenyabusiness]

TOLKIEN TLDR: What the hell happened between Finrod and Sauron?

Wanna know how Galadriel’s brother Finrod actually died? Here, have a silly, simplified version of his death according to The Ruin of Beleriand and the Fall of Fingolfin and Beren and Lúthien.

The story does, of course, start with Finrod, son of Finarfin, also known as Finrod Felagund. For a Noldorin Elf, he was a really good guy (that bar is pretty low though tbh). He befriended pretty much everyone he met, including Men and Dwarves. Solid dude, through and through.

Okay, time for some backstory. During the First Age, Morgoth was hiding in a northern fortress known as Angband, and for about 400 years, the Noldor had the place surrounded. They called it a siege, which is a bit of an exaggeration. They weren’t able to actually assault the place so they were mostly maintaining status quo, killing the occasional Orc here and there. Things were fine. They had things under control.

(Spoilers: No, they didn’t.)

After centuries of plotting and planning and preparing, Morgoth breaks through the “siege” and unleashes all the dark shit he’s been brewing in Angband. He burns down the entire area around his fortress and sends out myriads of Orcs, Balrogs, and a dragon. Lots of Elves and Men die that day, and even more become refugees. The peace that was never really a peace is over. This battle would forever be known as Dagor Bragollach, the Battle of Sudden Flame.

The House of Finarfin takes a heavy hit. Two of Finrod and Galadriel’s brothers die in the battle. Finrod would have been killed too, if it hadn’t been for a Man called Barahin. Barahin’s men manage to protect Finrod but suffer heavy losses because of it. Because of their bravery, Finrod decides to swear an oath, which is never, ever, a good idea in the Tolkien universe. He swears that if Barahir or any of his kin ever find themselves in need of aid, he will help them.

Alright, time skip. We’re now in the story of Beren and Lúthien, a couple of years later. Beren, Barahir’s son, comes to Finrod’s stronghold Nargothrond because he needs help with a quest. Lúthien, the love of his life, happens to be the daughter of a very overprotective king who won’t let Beren marry her unless he brings him a Silmaril (one of those three fancy stones that cause so much murder) from Morgoth’s crown.

Remember how I said that swearing an oath never ends well in the Tolkien universe? Well, things are about to go to shit here because there’s not only one oath at play here but four.

1. Lúthien’s father swore an oath not to kill Beren on the spot. Instead, he came up with the most lethal quest he could think of—retrieving a Silmaril.

2. Beren swore an oath to bring the king a Silmaril, because he really, really wants to marry Lúthien.

3. Finrod swore an oath to aid Barahir’s kin, no questions asked.

4. Fëanor and his sons (Finrod and Galadriel’s uncle and cousins) swore an oath to never let a Silmaril belong to anyone but them.

The two sons of Fëanor that happen to be in Norgothrond at the time throw a fit. The oath they swore is by far the most destructive one, but it had been lying fairly dormant during the “siege”. Morgoth has the Silmarils and they can’t really do anything about it. The oath accepts that. The idea of some random bloke retrieving it and then handing it off to some other king, though? The oath says no. They go on and on and on about how much they dislike the idea until Finrod, who has also sworn an oath, actually abdicates so he can follow Beren on his suicide mission.

Just… don’t swear oaths.  

Finrod and a handful of Elves join Beren on his quest. He disguises them as Orcs, and they travel safely until they reach Sauron’s domain. Sauron notices that the “Orcs” are acting weird, so he brings them to him. That’s when the famous battle between Sauron and Finrod Felagund begins. Their weapon of choice? Singing. Yeah. It’s a singing duel. Sauron ends up defeating Finrod (I mean, he used to be a part of the angelic Ainur choir so I guess that checks out), and then throws the company into a deep pit. He has no idea who they are or why they were trying to sneak through his territory, but he intends to find out. He tells them that until someone starts talking, he’s going to slowly kill them off one by one.

Yeaaaah, Sauron is not a good guy in The Silmarillion.

Since no one talks, he sends down one of his werewolves (beasts with dreadful spirits trapped inside them, not the man/wolf kind) who devours some poor, nameless dude from the company. This happens again, and again, and again, until it’s Beren’s turn. This is when Finrod performs his final act of heroism. He uses all the strength he has left to free himself from his bonds and kills the werewolf with his bare hands. He gets fatally wounded in the fight, though, and dies in that dark pit. Beren is later rescued by Lúthien (who is honestly a lot better at this Silmaril quest thing than Beren is), and Finrod is buried on the hilltop of Nargothrond.

TLDR of the TLDR: Finrod was a really good guy, oaths are bad, and Sauron can sing.  

Aaaanyway, there it is, the Silmarillion version of Finrod’s death. The Rings of Power has its own version, sort of insinuating that Finrod went after Sauron after the fall of Morgoth, but they did keep some elements. He was, indeed, killed by a servant of Sauron in a dark place.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #298: DISASTER!!!

December, 1988

EDWIN JARVIS -- the last Avenger?!

WELL SOMEBODY HAS TO CARRY THIS BOOK.

Fuckin’ Thor.

Oh, I should contextualize that.

Last times in Avengers: Dr Druid, under the influence of Nebula Kang (who is later revealed to be Ravonna pretending to be Nebula pretending to be Kang. For some reason), manipulated events to get rid of Captain Monica Marvel and become chairman of the Avengers.

After a brief attempt to kill Thor with a dinobot, Druid and Nebula Kang managed to put Thor, She-Hulk, and Black Knight under mind control, so Nebula Kang could use them to get into a time bubble in time and find some big weapon that the Kang Klubhouse wanted.

Some Kangs interfere, breaking the Avengers out of mind-control. The Avengers fight Nebula Kang and Dr Druid, leading to the two to get sucked into a time hole. Like a plot hold, but in time. The Avengers go home and She-Hulk quits in shame for what she did under mind control. Thor decides this is a good a time as any to just totally dissolve the team and takes off with Black Knight to go do Asgard stuff.

Leading to an awkward situation where there’s an Avengers book but no Avengers.

DISASTER!!! about sums it up. It being Walt Simonson’s run on this book.

HEY OOOOOH!

That’s not nice but I don’t have to be nice.

His Thor work is still a contender for best run the character has ever had but his Avengers work... eugh.

And since I don’t have to be nice...

Its funny that the Mets win right as Inferno is getting into full swing. Hell may not have frozen over but New York is certainly going to something quite like Hell!

So an Avengers book without any Avengers means that its Jarvis’ time to shine again.

Just like how we washed out the bad taste of Avengers #200 with a fun Jarvis back-up story the following issue.

If you don’t recall, Jarvis fought a bully of the neighborhood who had damaged his mom’s groceries.

Speaking of Jarvis’ mom...

She’s amazing.

Ma Jarvis needs her stories.

And her stories are: wrestling and General Hospital.

The television stops working on top of the air conditioning not working. And when she tries to call someone about it, it turns out the phones aren’t working!

Mrs. Jarvis: “#@%*!!! The phone line’s dead! What the #%@!! is this? A @#!!* conspiracy?!”

Jarvis offers to assist and Ma Jarvis must be in a bad mood because she eviscerates him. Not literally but she says some hurtful things that would be hurtful if Jarvis didn’t take it all in good humor.

She points out that A) he kept wearing his eyepatch long after his injuries from Avengers Under Siege healed. And B) He’s unemployed because the Avengers folded. And C) the Avengers never bothered to teach him anything useful like television repair.

Now to be fair to Jarvis.

A) He probably just wanted to look as cool as he is. I say let Jarvis wear an eyepatch.

B) Yeah, jerk move of the Avengers to just disband on a dime like that. But he at least has a nice pension from them that’s supporting Jarvis and his mom.

and C) “They taught me self-reliance... and the true value of teamwork.”

She’s so grumpy!

Granted. No air conditioning and no tv makes Ma Jarvis something something.

Jarvis walks down the street and goes into the first reputable television repair shop that he sees.

Unfortunately, there’s an epidemic of television malfunctions today (probably because of Inferno) so all of the television repair guys are working overtime and haven’t found the problem yet.

Repair shop guy: “I dunno what’s goin’ on around here! Me? I’m thinkin’ maybe New York is finally headin’ into the toilet!”

Jarvis: “Colorfully colloquial but unfortunately, an apt choice of phrase. Mother will simply have to forego her afternoon’s entertainment. A daunting prospect.

So daunting that Jarvis decides not to go right home. He decides to take a trip to the Metropolitan Museum to “refresh my eyes and rekindle my flagging spirit.”

He is a man of culture.

But the subway train he’s on suddenly stalls, like the power has gone out.

With his people skills, Jarvis takes charge of the group of passengers and directs them out of the train.

I don’t know if you’re supposed to immediately leave a stalled train, honestly. Maybe Jarvis is actually pulling a boner here.

If you’re not supposed to leave a train during an apparent power outage, he definitely kinda gets someone killed.

A businessman type with a briefcase accidentally drops his briefcase on the third rail and since its full of merger information, he immediately grabs it and gets electrocuted.

The train is stopped but the third rail is still active oh geez.

Now everyone is panicking and one guy tries to run off in a panic but Jarvis trips him. Another tough looking guy takes issue with Jarvis taking charge.

Tough looking guy: “Back off, fancy pants! I’m gettin’ outta here and nobody’s stoppin’ me! Not even some guy in a silly lookin’ hat!”

Jarvis: “This hardly seems the place to indulge in sartorial criticism, sir. Rather, seeking a rational solution to our mutual problem would be more beneficial! Brace up, everyone! The walk will not kill you but the panic may. Single file, keep in the center of the track! If you drop something, leave it! Follow me, now! Carefully!”

He leads the group through the tunnel until he finds an emergency exit and then leads them back up to the street.

Once again the day is saved by Jarvis.

He even gets kissed for being such a hero, by the lady he had saved from tumbling out of the train.

Said lady Glory Garsen seems really interested in spending more time with him. Really interested. Blatantly interested.

But Jarvis excuses himself for a pressing appointment. A pressing appointment that he doesn’t have because he’s just going to the museum to relax.

Not really sure what to make of the exchange.

Also, I’m not sure how old Jarvis is supposed to be and how old Glory is supposed to be.

Jarvis later dates Aunt May for a while. And he supposedly fought in World War II by lying about his age. And its the late 80s now. But also, he doesn’t ever seem to age, because he’s around a bunch of other people who don’t ever really seem to age.

Point being, I’m pretty sure there is a significant age gap here.

Anyway anyway, after excusing himself from her advances, Jarvis finds to his disappointment that the museum is closed. Physically closed. The doors slammed shut and nobody can get them open. The Fire Department is trying to break the doors down but haven’t had much progress with it.

Jarvis reflects that this doesn’t seem to be his day and muses about purchasing a gift for his mom.

Jarvis: “I wonder where I could purchase a pair of wrestling trunks?”

Geez, she’s really into wrestling, huh? Wait, would the trunks be for her to wear? Does she herself wrestle?

Hell yeah, Mrs. Jarvis.

Instead of shopping, Jarvis decides to visit the “cinema” for he has not had the time to go in years!

God damn, the Avengers, force this man to take more days off.

Wait, you’ve disbanded. Uh... enjoy your retirement, Jarvis!

Anyway, he heads to the Daily Bugle building in hopes that he can find a schedule of the local theaters but chances into another heroic moment.

Some bricks fall off some scaffolding, right towards a mother and her child.

Jarvis shouts a warning but then clumsy, normal photographer Peter Parker accidentally trips, grabs Jarvis’ arm, and pushes it so that his umbrella deflects all the bricks. Accidentally.

But Jarvis is not one to hold a grudge, especially since the totally accidental inadvertent assistance helped save the two bystanders from getting severely bonked.

Normal guy Peter Parker walks off but since Jarvis is looking to take in a movie at the local cinema, Peter suggests Roger Rabbit because “his wife’s a knockout!”

(Quickly checking and yup, Who Framed Roger Rabbit did come out the same year this issue did. That’s fun.)

Peter’s suggestion is one Jarvis can only agree with, after the movie is over.

Jarvis: “That young man was right! Roger Rabbit’s wife! My goodness! Such... ample... drawing!”

Jarvis, you horn dog.

He decides to phone home and tell his mom when he thinks he’ll be coming home, accounting for walking time because he has a bad feeling about getting back on the subway again.

But there’s already a line at the phone and it seems the phone isn’t even working! The cigar chomping guy at the phone complaining that nothing has worked right since AT&T was busted up.

(That’s another time stamp for the issue. That would have been about four years ago at the time of this issue. We’re learning stuff today.)

Anyway, the phone apparently takes offense to cigar guy’s abuse and lassos his neck with its receiver.

This is why people prefer cordless phones!

I love how unfazed Jarvis is by this. He just saw Roger Rabbit and that gives him the context to decide that things are just acting like cartoons today. So he’ll just follow cartoon logic.

Since Inferno seems not to be in full swing, that makes him one of the earlier people to realize that wacky demon stuff is just like cartoons.

So he just puts more money into the phone until the receiver lets go of the guy and jumps back in its cradle.

Because, why not!

Anyway, Jarvis isn’t fazed by all this nonsense but he also knows its not just another typical day. Since the Avengers are disbanded - THANKS, Thor - Jarvis decides to place a call to someone else.

He stretches the cord as far as it will go so the phone can’t attempt to strangle him. But when he dials the number, the phone insists he needs to insert $429.45 to complete the call.

Jarvis: “I see. Well, my technological friend, two can play at this game! Complete this call and I shall feed you all the change I possess! Frustrate that effort and I shall return momentarily with bolt cutters... and sever your receiver! You’ll never eat in this town again!”

Phone: “Click.... bzzzzzzzt... ring... ring... ring...”

Jarvis: “Ahh.”

He freaked that phone.

Later, a mysterious man enters a mysterious base in Brooklyn, mysteriously.

Look, this isn’t too much of a mystery.

Its a guy that Jarvis knows and Jarvis trusts. And its a guy carrying a circular object that can block lasers.

It’s the Captain America.

The whole point of slowly breaking Roger Stern’s Avengers roster was to put Steve Rogers back in charge the way nature intended.

Its definitely not the new Captain America. Why would Jarvis have his phone number?

Anyway. Jarvis doesn’t know what’s going on with the Captain America’s life so he keeps the message vague. Something is weird in Manhattan and people haven’t realized it yet. He requests this mysterious Steve Rogers shaped stranger meet him at the Brooklyn Bridge so Jarvis can Explain It All.

And the Captain America gets a firsthand experience with how screwy things are getting when one of the computers in his secret base starts moving around and shooting lasers at him.

Not things that computer was designed to do.

The Captain America throws his mighty shield and that right there is evidence this is Steve Rogers because that computer sure does yield. By exploding.

Mysterious guy: “I wonder if this isn’t precisely the sort of thing Jarvis was calling about. I think I’d better make that rendezvous and fast!”

Meanwhile, Jarvis chilling by the bridge.

When he hears an EEEEEEEEEEEEEK! and calls for help oh help.

And its Glory Garsen!

The woman from the subway who kissed Jarvis!

Small world!

She’s also stuck between two cars despite two beefy looking dudes’ best efforts. Because the small world is also a malevolent world.

Jarvis applies some more cartoon logic and gives one of the cars a good poke in the eye - or headlight, rather - and it pulls away.

Burly guy: “You did it! But... I don’t believe it! It backed off! All by itself!”

Jarvis: “Injury to the eye motif, my good man! Even the strongest willed individual will shy away from a pointed stick!”

That’s such a particular phrasing “injury to the eye motif.” Jarvis, have you been reading Fredrick Wertham’s book?

I saw that particular phrasing in Cerebus too but the arc in question came out later than this issue.

Imagining Jarvis reading either “Seduction of the Innocent” or Cerebus the Aardvark honestly floors me. But he did partake in a Who Framed Roger Rabbit that he really enjoyed so maybe I shouldn’t guess his interests.

Anyway.

Glory Garsen admits that it isn’t a small world. She’s been stalking Jarvis.

She’s damn tired of being single and she’s not letting a good guy walk away just because he’s shy.

Oh so it was shyness? Sure.

Look, even if the dating scene sucks, you shouldn’t stalk handsome butler types.

Then the day gets weirder.

A giant robot? man comes VARROM VARROOUMing down the road and tries to knock Jarvis’ block off.

Hey, its the guy from the cover. Except much greener.

And he THROWS A CAR AT JARVIS!

Yeesh. This guy must be evil. Hating Jarvis like that. For shame.

When Jarvis dodges the car, the robot dude grabs him and starts squeezing him TO DEATH!

Well, not to death yet but he’s trying.

But Jarvis SPAKTs the guy in the non-broken eye and the robot rears back and goes “WHEEEAAAPP! BEEEEEAP!” in distress.

But it doesn’t drop him and its clutching him so tight that he passes out.

BUT THEN!

BUT THEN!!

Someone mysterious throws a disc-shaped object and when the mysterious someone throws a disc-shaped object, the robot guy has to yield Jarvis to the ground.

C’mon, its obviously the Captain: “The first round’s over, demon. You aren’t related to an answering machine over in Brooklyn by any chance?”

Oh, so the thing that attacked the Captain America was the answering machine. Glad we cleared that up.

Glory Garsen drags the unconscious Jarvis to safety while mystery dude engages the robot dude.

And mystery dude gives a lot of pointers while he fights. Or... like, condescending pointers. Talking about how much the other dude sucks. “Your cornering’s pretty weak!” sort of thing.

The robot dude rips a manhole out of the ground to try to fight the Captain America but again he yields when bonked with a high velocity trash can lid shaped object.

Then the Captain America punches him in the face over and over until... the guy turns into a car.

Huh.

I guess it was the car that was trying to squish Glory and that Jarvis broke the headlight.

IT CAME BACK FOR REVENGE!

Inferno is weird.

Also, huh. It wasn’t so many issues ago where Thor was fighting a robot T. Rex that was more than met the eye. And now a car transforms into a robot mode and back again...

You a big Transformers fan, Simonson?

Jarvis shares the previous car incident with the Captain and tells him that there’s been more incidents like this around New York today.

Jarvis: “I couldn’t think of anyone more qualified to wrestle with such an emergency. But I do think that it might prove troublesome should this animated plague spread to every inanimate object in the city!”

The Captain: “So you think that I won’t be able to handle what’s going on by myself?”

Jarvis: “The thought never entered my mind, Captain. I merely suggest it might be prudent to enlist the aid of a few worthy friends as you have done so successfully in the past. Strength in numbers, sir. I could hold your coat. And besides, I would like to have my old job back.”

The Captain: “Pretty sly, Jarvis. I think maybe we’ve been electing the wrong man chairman of the Avengers all these years!”

Pretty sly, indeed!

But yes, Steve! Put the Avengers back together! Even if its the Worst Roster!

Also, he takes off his mysterious coat and hat and runs off. Just in case anyone didn’t get that it was Steve Rogers the Captain somehow.

Glory Garsen practically squeals over meeting the original Captain America.

But Jarvis gets melancholic because what woman wouldn’t prefer Steve Rogers over a guy like Jarvis.

Glory reassures him that she didn’t stalk him halfway across Manhattan to give up on him now. She’s still very insistent that Jarvis be her boyfriend.

She’s not looking for a superhero, just a man both gentle and courageous and dammit she thinks she’s found that in Jarvis.

So Jarvis agrees to date her. And they start dating.

It doesn’t look like she shows up all that often after this. And one wonders why write a story where a seemingly younger woman throws herself at Jarvis.

I mean, I know he’s a catch. You know he’s a catch. But why was this narrative conceived and executed?

We may never know.

And its maybe not the best sign for their relationship that Jarvis internally congratulates himself on saying a cool thing and can’t wait to tell his mom about it.

But whatever! Jarvis had a good day! A whole issue to himself. He fought a car twice. Fought a phone. Saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Set the wheels in motion for the Avengers reforming. Got stalked by a woman until he agreed to date her.

A good day for Jarvis!

Follow @essential-avengers​ for all the Jarvis content the Avengers provides. Even if it always falls short of how much Jarvis content we’d like. Like and reblog and comment, maybe. I love attention and feedback.

[taylorscottbarnett]

I like all the Russian bots talk about "Ukraine is going to lead the US into WWIII"

..... like really?

First, Russia can barely handle Ukraine. We are putting to the test that old WWII joke of Germany will run out of bullets before Russia runs out of men. And it's not looking too good for them, honestly.

Russia is having to forcefully conscription prisoners because Ukraine has just been using them as target practice.

I was watching this video on someone asking what if there was a Red Dawn scenario and Russia was dropping paratroopers into the US and it's like.... yeah ok they'll be more fun to shoot as they are dropping from the sky. Like do you know just HOW difficult a Russian invasion of the US would be?

Secondly, like... I mean, Japan blew up a few boats once, and we dropped the sun on them. Twice. We inspired an entire new movie monster franchise.

Because they touched our stuff.

We don't like it when people touch our stuff. We get kinda mad about shit like that. Kinda been that way since Yorktown. When the underequiped, under-fed army of a new country that was already mountains in debt from it, had nearly no food, and George Washington marched his army hundreds of miles to British-occupied Yorktown, laid siege, dug trenches, and rained down artillery hell onto the British forces.

FOR A WEEK. CONSTANTLY.

Literally 24-7, pounding the birtish position with 14 guns.

Then the Americans and French forces snuck up on the British with unloaded guns as to not accidentally give away the attack -- at a time when it took a fair amount of time to load a gun mind you.

Hamilton assaulted the British with 400 men with just bayonets. Americans climb the parapet and in intense close-quarters fighting overwelm the Birtish soldiers. America suffered 34 casualties.

Surrounding Cornwallis with artillery on three sides, the ensuing battle ended with an estimated 8,978 casualties -- 95.7% of them British soldiers.

Since our birth the US has not taken kindly to when anyone touches our stuff. It really, really, really, bothers us.

I mean, Japan blew up a few boats once, and we dropped the sun on them. Twice. We inspired an entire new movie monster franchise. We threatened to drop more.

Because they touched our stuff.

And some lunatic right-wing mouth breathers think that Russia is going to somehow start WWIII with the US over Ukraine?

Russia takes ONE step inside NATOs borders, and this war is over. It's done. Russia lost. It's over. That's not hyperbole, Russia can barely handle Ukraine. NATO would rain fire down upon Russia, their nukes would be either destroyed before they launched all of them, half of their rusty old nukes would fail to launch, and any that did would never make it through the many, many, many, anti-missle systems around NATO.

Look COD games are fun and all, but if this war has taught us anything it's we've severely over-estimated the competence of the Russian government and military as well as vastly underestimated the rampant corruption and covering thy own ass of the Russian military complex.

[shadowsong26x]

So, back...like...10-12 years ago, I put together a fanmix (do we still call them that lol) for S3 of BSG. I had plans to do similar mixes for the other seasons (one song per episode, plus an overall/summary/opening song), but never got around to it.

Anyway, I was reloading my iPod for the first time in like...four years lol...and Days Upon Our Knees (the mix in question) was one of the things I added, and I was listening to it in the car.

And I was Pleasantly Surprised to see how well it holds up??? Even without tracking down my notes/rationale, almost every song at least Makes Sense (even if there are probably better choices I could have made/could make now). A couple of them are just ::chefskiss: perfect (As Long As You’re Mine for Unfinished Business; I legit do not think I could pick a better song for that episode lol). The only ones that I’m like “...where was I going with this” were Torn and A Measure of Salvation frankly I’m not 100% sure where the writers were going with that either but maybe I’ll figure it out when I rewatch those episodes this weekend

ANYWAY.

Full track list is behind the cut because I’m pleased with myself and feel like sharing XD (with links to the songs on YouTube because Why Not)

1/overall/summary: Days Upon Our Knees (International Victim)

2/occupation: Trommeln in der Stadt (Der Glockner von Notre Dame) [yes, this is in fact a full broadway-style adaptation of disney’s hunchback of notre dame, in german; it was the first version, premiered in 1999 in berlin. i like it much better than when it was translated back into english and got Weird. title translates to ‘drums in the city’; the english version was i think ‘city under siege’?]

3/precipice: March of Cambreadth (Alexander James Adams) [i don’t really have any complaints about my choices for the new caprica arc lol]

4/exodus 1: What Have You Done Now (Within Temptation) [i’m 95% sure i was mostly thinking of saul and ellen when i picked this one]

5/exodus 2: Into the Fire (The Scarlet Pimpernel) [see note on march of cambreadth]

6/collaborators: Sweet Sacrifice (Evanescence) [i think i could do better here, probably, but it does work]

7/torn: The Show Must Go On (Moulin Rouge!) [...yeah i got nothing]

8/a measure of salvation: His Hymn (Drew Sarich) [i try not to repeat artists on these things, and teeeeeechnically i did; since international victim was drew sarich’s band for a while. also, i’ve developed much stronger associations with a different fandom for this song (which i adore) which might be contributing to the ‘...huh?’ befuddlement i’m feeling now lol ETA: i feel like i might have considered this for collaborators if only because it does work as a gaeta song for the second half of the series, particularly post-demetrius...i think if i was doing these now, i’d replace this and try to work it into the s4 mix for that reason.]

9/hero: I Can’t Decide (Scissor Sisters) [this is kind of a weird episode, and i don’t super remember it? but i don’t remember this song not fitting...guess i’ll find out when i get here in my rewatch!]

10/unfinished business: As Long As You’re Mine (Wicked) [IT’S PERFECT OKAY I REGRET NOTHING]

11/passage: The Prayer (Quest for Camelot) [i think i know what i was going for here, and i can’t say it doesn’t fit, but i think i could do better]

12/the eye of jupiter: Confutatis (Mozart Requiem) [this was partly vibes, partly i thought the translation worked; i still like it even if maybe there were better choices]

13/rapture: O Magnum Mysterium (Tomas Luis Victoria) [this is 1000000000% vibes, lol. it’s technically a christmas song, but it just Sounds Right]

14/taking a break from all your worries: Break Me Shake Me (Savage Garden) [so i think this would’ve worked better on a baltar/six mix rather than here, but it Does fit. and i’m not sure what would work better, unless i picked something more aligned with the Quadrangle of Why half of the episode which. no. why the hell would i do that.]

15/the woman king: Man of La Mancha (Man of La Mancha/Linda Eder cover) [so, basically, the goal here was to pick a helo song. and i think ‘impossible dream’ is a better fit for him, but i think this one fits the episode a little better and also i really love this cover. almost as much as i hate this episode lol]

16/a day in the life: I’ll Be Seeing You (Frank Sinatra) [i’m pretty sure i hesitated on this one because i also used (a different version/cover of) it on a baltar/six mix (because Come On), but also...i’m not sure i could find a better fit for this weird, weird episode. (i don’t dislike it, exactly, but it feels...out of place? tonally, i mean. and not in a Relevant Way like TMUTMD does, but i suppose i’ll get into that when i get to the back half of this season in my rewatch notes lol)]

17/dirty hands: Do You Hear the People Sing (Les Mis) [i think this is a good fit for this episode. there’s probably a better (or at least more specifically relevant) one out there, but i think i’d have to Actively Look, if that makes sense? also, apparently a not-insignificant part of the fanbase actively dislikes this episode??? which...i don’t really...get? like...do people dislike chief? i know it’s not one of bill’s shining moments but at the same time...]

18/maelstrom: Storm Front (Billy Joel) [okay this one i took way too literally lol. i could probably do better here but this one doesn’t not fit]

19/the son also rises: Razzle Dazzle (Chicago) [again. perfect. no regrets. XD]

20/crossroads 1: Comfort and Joy (Bat Boy: The Musical) [i could have taken this one more seriously, lol. but i like this song and it does work so i stand by my decision XD]

21/crossroads 2: All Along the Watchtower (Bear McCreary) [yeah i had to]

((i also transferred the baltar/six mix (apart from one song that i know i’d replace; i even know what i’d replace it with lol) and a cylon pairing mix, both made around the same time; i might do the same thing with them after i play through them properly XD))

[lacontroller1991]

The Other Stevens: Chapter 7

Main Master List The Other Stevens

Chapter 6

Warnings: language, spoilers for season 2, fix it fic of course, age gap relationship (ish)

Word Count: 2.2k

Author's Note: So this is the last chapter (save for the epilogue) and I honestly loved writing it. Huge shout out to @ed-baldwin for reading it over and fangirling over it to give me the additional motivation to finish this fic!

==========

The following two months were hell on everybody involved in the soap opera. Although Gordo spent time getting in shape and getting ready for the mission, he wasn’t the same and Danny and Jimmy knew that. They knew that their dad wasn’t mentally home, they knew that he was probably somewhere with you on a mental island. Despite trying everything to see you again, Gordo never succeeded, it was like you had disappeared.

The two months weren’t easy for you either. From your window, you could see his red corvette pass your house every day on his way to and from work, trying to see if he could catch you outside your own house, maybe talk to you, try to win you back, but you never gave him the satisfaction. In refusing to give in to him, you also were punishing yourself because despite all the words he said to you, you still love that arrogant asshole and you want nothing more than to run into his arms and push it all past you. 

Staring up at the barely visible moon, you wonder what he could be doing. He could be doing some moon exploration, or re-exploration of his ex. The thought annoys you as you shut your blinds, trying to erase the image out of your brain.

“Honey?”

“Yeah dad?”

“You might wanna see this.” You walk into the main living room and eye the broadcast.

“What’s going on?”

‘And although it is not official what is going on, sources believe that Jamestown is under siege by the Soviets. There is reason to believe that the main nuclear engine is going to mel-’ the main broadcast cuts off as the emergency one comes on, air raid sirens going off outside. Your blood freezes. Even though you don’t know a lot about nuclear power, you know that if the coolant shuts down, the whole base will explode, including Gordo. 

“Come on, we got to get to shelter,” your dad grabs your arm and drags you from your spot in the hall and down the stairs, into the nuclear bunker. Your dad seats you next to your mom while he shuts the door, locking it tight before hurrying back down and turning on the emergency radio listening to every word while your mom sobs in terror, you on the other hand, don’t make a sound, adrenaline and fear freezing you over. Not fear for yourself, but fear for Gordo.

“Do you guys have anything to protect yourself with?” Gordo looks over his shoulder and eyes three suits, littered with holes.

“We do, but they ain’t in good shape.” Molly ponders for a second while Margo enters the room, a file in her hands.

“Alright, you’re gonna want to get some duct tape and patch up every tiny hole twice over. Hopefully that will be enough to stop you guys from blowing up.”

“So one of you is going to kill the power to the main reactor, the other is going to switch the back up on. Shouldn’t take you more than a minute or two, the thing is, this has to be done simultaneously, not a second early, not a second late, or else it could blow up in your face.” Gordo gulps while Tracy takes a seat next to him, writing down the information, briefly taking glances at her ex.

“You guys don’t have to do this, you know. Everyone would understand.”

“If we do die, might as well die as heroes,” Gordo mumbles, not really caring if he lives or dies. What’s the point of living if the girl you love doesn’t love you back? “Trace, can you leave Molly and I for a second?”

“Uh? Sure?” She walks away, but within hearing distance, straining to hear what was so important that she had to walk away. 

“Ok, if I die. I want you to get Ed to go into my room, in the top drawer on the right side of the bed, there is going to be a letter in an envelope. I want you to tell Ed to take that letter and give it to (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

“Who’s tha-”

“Just tell Ed, please? It’s important.” Tracy rolls her eyes, is he seriously still on that chick? Molly nods her head and stares at Gordo through the screen.

“Anything else?” Gordo looks back to Tracy who shakes her head.

“Nope, I think we got it all.”

“Godspeed.”

Minutes later and all suited up, Gordo and Tracy stand next to each other, last minute thoughts running through their brain. Pulling out a photo, Gordo traces your features with his gloved hand and a faint smile on his lips. He hopes that he won’t die. He hopes that he’ll be able to give you the letter in person. Setting the picture to the side, he cracks his neck and eyes the door, aware of the way Tracy watches him. “What is it, Tracy?”

“I love you, Gordo. If we live, I want to make things work between us.” 

“Wish you would’ve said that 5 years ago. I’ve moved on and I know she’s young, but I love her. She makes me happy and not a second has gone by where I don’t think of her. And yeah, I made a mistake and haven’t seen her in months, but I still want her. I need her. I love you too, Trace. You’re the mother of my children, but I am in love with her and I want her.” Tracy turns away and stares straight ahead.

“Alright then, let’s save the day.”

----------

‘Defying direct orders, the crew of Apollo and Soyuz met in space and shared a handshake, de-escalating the nuclear threat. In other news, Jamestown narrowly avoided a nuclear meltdown due to the heroic actions of Astronaut and Captain Gordon Stevens as well as Astronaut Tracy Stevens. Their condition is unknown at the time,’ you stare blankly at the tv as you soak in the events of the day. One, you were almost nuked, two, there was almost a nuclear meltdown that would’ve killed everyone on the moon, and three, Gordo could be dead and the last thing you ever told him was to never speak to you again, and now… all you want to do is to fly to the moon, just to make sure he is okay. Muting the tv, you choke back a sob as you pull out the only photo of him and you that you didn’t ruin, a photo of him and you smiling, a stretch of land behind the two of you with Columbia in the background, just days before the catastrophic fight. 

A sharp knock stirs you out of your thoughts as your dad opens the door, Jimmy and Danny standing there with their hands in their pockets. “Can I help you boys?”

“Yeah, we need to borrow (Y/N), if that’s okay?” Your dad looks over to you as you nod your head, pocketing the photo and making your way over to the pair.

“I saw the news, is he ok?”

“He’s going to be fine. He’s at the hospital right now, so we decided that he’ll need some company while we go back and forth between mom and him.”

“I’m so glad to hear that they’re back and safe, but I don’t think it would be wise to go and see him.” Danny rolls his eyes and grabs your arm gently, guiding you out the door and to his car, sticking you in the back while Jimmy takes the front.

“Although I don’t like you or my dad being together, you made him happy. These past few months without you, he’s been completely insufferable, always moping around and just not being himself. So, I can get over myself for his sake.” He peels out of the driveway as you look out the window, watching the trees pass by.

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?”

“Please, he won’t shut up about you, he wants to see you,” Jimmy comments, placing his headphones on, leaving you and Danny without a barrier between awkward silence. 

“I am sorry about what happened. I don’t know what came over me,” you give him a small smile through the rearview mirror while he pulls into the hospital parking lot. “Alright, so we’ll see him first, you can just wait outside, but then we’ll leave you so we can go see mom. Deal?”

“Yeah, deal.” Danny and Jimmy look between each other and nod in unison.

“Alright then, let’s go.”

---------

Gordo groans as his eyes open, his body feeling like he hit a brick wall. After turning the back up generator on, on the way back to the safety of Jamestown, he tripped and fell, breaking his leg against the metal stairs, and then of course, the not healthy dose of radiation poisoning both he and Tracy got from their time outside. Looking around, he notes he’s back on Earth, in a hospital room, various wires poking out of his skin to provide him with the necessary medicine he needs. “Hey dad,” Danny’s voice is the first he hears as he turns his head, noting both sons are present. He grins. 

“Hey boys. Miss me?” He extends his arms for them as Danny and Jimmy gently hug Gordo, relief washing over them. “So, does anybody know what the doc said? How long am I gonna be here?”

“They said they want to keep you for about a month, one week to treat the radiation and then to take care of your leg, you had a pretty bad fall,” Danny comments as Gordo’s face falls. “But, the president has awarded you two medals. Medal of Honor and Defense Distinguished Service.” Gordo waves his hand at the notion.

“I don’t need a medal. How’s your mom?”

“She’s doing better than you, that’s for sure. She’ll be here for a week,” Jimmy replies, periodically looking at the entrance, Gordo catches on.

“What are you looking at?” Jimmy and Danny look at each other.

“Well, since you’ll be here for a month, and we can’t keep both you and mom entertained at the same time, we figured you having a guest visitor might lighten the mood.” Gordo’s heart skips a beat at the possibility that it’s you. God, he hopes it’s you. Just then, you round the corner, your hands fiddling with each other as you stand in the doorway, not really sure what to do.

“(Y/N),” Danny and Jimmy stand up and make their way over to you, patting you on the shoulder before shutting the door behind them, leaving you and Gordo alone. You immediately rush to his side, looking him over as tears well in your eyes. You almost lost him without telling him how you really feel. 

Noticing the tears in your eyes, Gordo takes one of your hands in his and lightly squeezes in comfort. “Hey, look at me.” Your eyes travel up to his face, a tired lopsided smile etching its way onto his face. “It’s good to see you.”

“Gordo, I-,” you lean up and press your lips against his, trying to convey all of your feelings through your lips. Pulling away, you rest your forehead against his, yours and his breath playing against each other. “I thought you were going to die. I saw the news and everything and I was so scared for you. I was so scared,” he reaches a hand up and brushes away the tears with his thumb before caressing your face, holding you close as you wrap your body over his, being careful to not actually rest against his wounded body. “I was so scared, Gordo. I thought I was gonna lose you.” He chuckles lightly, sniffing back tears of his own as he presses another kiss to your lips.

“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you, but you never called back.” You shake your head in denial at your own stupidity.

“I know, I know. I was stupid.”

“No, no, no. I was stupid. I should’ve never said those things. I should’ve never done that to you. I should’ve never gone out and drank. I’m sorry for what I said.” 

“Let’s just forget about it and start over.”

“Yeah, that sounds real nice. (Y/N) (Y/L/N), would you like to go out, on a real date?” He looks up at you while you nod, tears collecting on your lashes as you smile down at him.

“Yes, I would.” 

“Good,” he attempts to scoot over in his bed, leaving some space on the side, “all I wanna do right now is hold you. Get in here,” he commands as you toe off your shoes and climb into the hospital bed, allowing him to wrap an arm around your frame as he presses a kiss to the top of your head while you snuggle into him, being careful to avoid the wires. “I love you. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Gordon Stevens. I love you too.”

--- fin ----

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