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#help im so invested in her
yeyayeya · 5 months
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Spoilers for Thousand Autumns/Qian Qiu English Volumes 1-3
Reading Volume 1 of Thousand Autumns: hmm I can see the potential for romance, but Yan Wushi is too much of an asshole for me, but maybe later on he’ll grow to like Shen Qiao
Reading Volume 2: Yan Wushi sucks! You betrayed him?? After Shen Qiao called you a friend??? I hate omg WHYYY???
Reading Volume 3: NO WHAT??? YAN WUSHI COME BACK!! Shen Qiao tried to save you after everything wtf don’t go! You would turn yourself in??? BITCH COME BACK DONT GET HURT AGAIN PLEASE
My emotions regarding Yan Wushi have been all over the place I cannot put a name to my emotions regarding him help me
please tell me he is ok I need to read volume 4
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knifekris · 1 month
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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shortson · 9 months
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currently reading northanger abbey and i keep having to Take a Break because i feel such intense intense anger towards john thorne I Fear I Need Something Drastic to Happen to Him
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msdk-00 · 1 month
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i love my professor who is a medievalist and thus speaks how one might expect a medievalist would. we should all throw a Most Excellent in our emails more often.
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mimiatmidnight · 1 year
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Will you be commenting on the Taylor drama?
I love the way this was worded, like I'm one of the siblings on Succession and the press has cornered me outside my penthouse to ask if I'll be releasing a statement on my family's latest scandal. Hehehe anyways.
Sorry but I just don't understand how anyone is shocked. Truly what has that woman ever done to successfully convince people that this is out of character for her. Like I don't want to diminish anyone's pain or anything but I see all these stans on here and over on Twitter in all this distress, having their very first epiphanies like "Hold on . . . does Taylor . . . suck??" And I kinda just have to chuckle at them cause like bless your hearts babes, but omg catch UP 😭
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Lol because 1) she is a severely emotionally stunted person who thinks edgy British "bad boys" are hot like she's 12 years old, 2) she has no true deeply-held moral principles outside of issues that directly affect herself, and 3) truthfully, she seems to be suffering from a serious crisis of identity after the end of the longest and most significant romantic relationship of her life, and in my opinion is pretty clearly desperate to prove something to the world/her ex/herself.
The first reason is cringe but not news to longtime viewers, the second reason is pathetic but also not news (to those who can be honest with themselves), and the third is . . . understandable in some sense, but not pitiable enough to make me willing to humor this insufferable little episode she's having. I wish her luck on this humiliating rebound journey, but she is gonna have to walk that road on her own.
Normally, I always roll my eyes when people make these kinds of jokes, but given the circumstances I feel justified in saying: I can't wait to hear the breakup song about him, sis 🤡
#the great thing about disliking your own fave is that they simply do not have the power to disappoint you lol#like her stans (at least those who arent complete sycophants—which sadly is not most) are breaking down over Babys 1st Cognitive Dissonance#meanwhile im just over here chilling lol#ive also just NEVER been particularly invested in her personal life anyways so im gucci on that front too#i didnt even realize specific songs were about specific celebrity exes until *several* years into listening to her music#thats how unplugged i am lol#she is unusually extremely visible in the collective conscious right now cause of the tour and this insufferable PR blitz#but the absolute best thing for me is when she disappears and i dont have to perceive her -- the actual person -- outside of her music#and then it can just be me and my lifelong companion the fictional character “taylor swift” (c)(r)(tm)#so personally the only real threat this hangs over my head is the thought she might put him on an album#like that does strike real terror in my heart im ngl#ESPECIALLY any of the rerecords oh my god#and given the way hes been tailing her in and out of that damn studio . . . its not looking good for me kids 🥴#i cant believe she would be that dumb after making the same mistake with joe on folklore#cause even tho now she has to suffer the indignity of sharing a grammy with her ex (LMAO)#at least we can understand that at the time she thought they were in it for life#but if she pulls that shit again with a REBOUND??? just to like stick it to joe or further delude herself or whatever?#idk im gonna need interpol or somebody to step in and do something drastic like this is a cry for help#did you guys see that euphoria meme someone made about her deranged “ive never been happier!!!!” speech the other day?#it was SO funny ill go find it
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tomwambsmilk · 2 years
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I am now realizing I don't think I've ever really explained my Succession-Inferno analogy but it is something near and dear to my heart so. Buckle up I guess!
The whole thing is premised on the idea that Logan holds a lot of characteristics traditionally ascribed to the devil in literature. He's an excellent liar (far better than anyone else on the show), he goes out of his way to destroy relationships between other people because he can't stand it when people love others more than they love him, he presents himself as "uncle fun" to outsiders, he actively revels in sowing discord and conflict and betrayal whereas everyone else merely tolerates it. At the same time everyone around him treats him like a god. He deserves all their love, he is The Father who has created all they see, reality is manifested by his will and is simply whatever he wants it to be, he is all-knowing and all-powerful. But because their god is actually. you know. evil. the fruit of his continued power (and their continued worship of him) is nothing but misery and lies.
In Dante's Inferno, Dante goes on a journey through Hell, guided by Virgil. Virgil represents two things: the knowledge of morality necessary to understand what's happening in Hell and avoid being taken in by it, and the moral support and courage necessary to complete the journey. Dante journeys through nine circles that are meant to represent sins of increasing moral degradation. The first is limbo, who's actually just people who weren't bad at all but were never baptized and so can't go to heaven. That's where the pagan moral philosophers - including Virgil - are. After that, it's Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Wrath, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, and finally, Treachery. The order is very intentional, and rooted the belief that the early sins (sins of the flesh) are the easiest ones to fall into and ultimately are not as serious as the others - but, they also serve as gateways to the more serious sins. Each circle has sinners being punished in ways that are metaphors for the impacts of their sins. The devil sits in the ninth circle of hell, Treachery, where everyone (including the devil himself) is frozen in ice. The devil has Brutus, Judas, and Cassius in his mouth, and he chews on them for all eternity. Everyone around him betrayed someone they had an obligation to; the worse the betrayal, the closer to the devil they are frozen. The furthest away are those who betrayed their families (Cain); then those who betrayed their countries (Antenor); those who betrayed their guests and those who sheltered in their homes (Ptolemy); and finally, those who betrayed their masters, lords, and benefactors, which includes the three in Satan's mouth.
If Logan is Succession's Satan, then two things follow. First, Waystar becomes a metaphorical Inferno, where climbing the ranks to get closer to Logan requires climbing through the circles of hell and participating in greater and greater moral degradation. I think the character this most applies to, because we actually get to see his corruption arc over the course of the show, is Tom. And his arc, I think, arguably fits with that journey into hell. Season 1 gives us Gluttony and Greed, especially in 1.06 when he takes Greg to the restaurant and gives his spiel about how great it is to be rich. We also get his general obsession with nice things and with stuff, something which the Roys don't have, and something that seems to fade in Tom as his arc progresses. Season two gives us Wrath and Violence (Safe Room etc.), and Fraud (the cruise line scandal coming out). And then finally, at the end of season 3, we get Treachery. And I find it very very interesting that immediately before committing the act of Treachery, Tom asks Greg if he wants to make a deal with devil - something which turns out to mean both a deal with Logan, but also the act of betraying Shiv. Up until this point, you could argue that Greg had been riding along on Tom's coattails on this journey-through-hell - but the line "What am I going to do with a soul anyways?" means that, for the first time, he's actively consenting to what's happening. Sure, he doesn't know what's going on - but the line itself implies that it simply does not matter to him.
The second thing that follows, though, is that while Tom and Greg and the old guard have journeyed down to where Logan is, his children have been there all along. They grew up in a world characterized by Treachery, Fraud, Violence, Wrath, Greed, and Lust. Their arcs aren't about them becoming corrupted; their arcs are about whether they can escape the corruption they've always lived in. Everyone is frozen in that same ice together, but the ways they got here were very different.
Finally, the Virgil character is very important, because he doesn't have a corollary in the Succession half of this analogy, and that highlights what none of these characters have. None of them have a strong moral compass, and even if they did, none of them have the kind of support and moral courage to resist the allure of temptation. This is far more devastating for the Roy kids, though, because they've never had the opportunity to encounter a Virgil, whereas everyone else had to pass through Limbo - where Virgil is - before they could start going through hell. Or, in other words, with Tom et al. at some point there was an active choice to reject the moral compass and reject the moral support, which the Roy kids never had. But once you reject your moral compass it's hard to get it back again, hence why the further you get from Limbo the harder it is to find your way back.
#succession#didnt include this in the main post bc I didnt want it to be too long BUT#I also think there's an interesting tomshiv angle here#where. if shiv has been immersed in this world of corruption and moral degradation her whole life (ie frozen in that ninth circle)#is there really a world where they can be together and tom doesn't end up in that same corruption?#shiv isnt the one who corrupted him. not at all. but her whole world is corrupt and so entering into it is the only way to get close to her#its not her fault he entered into it in the first place bc he clearly did before he met her#but once he marries her he ends up even more committed and its even harder to get out#I also think there's an interesting angle re: dante journeying through hell to get to beatrice#who represents true pure selfless love#BUT he can make it through hell bc he has Virgil. so he DOESNT get sucked into the corruption and he DOESNT get stuck in the ninth circle#and HE gets to pass through the other side of hell and head towards heaven#I have a creative writing piece I started forever ago where tom has to take a dante class in college and over the course of the show begins#rationalizing his choices as part of a journey through hell where on the other side is beatrice ie: love#bc he's so invested in being in this world and his marriage is part of the world#and then finally realizing oh fuck actually im in the ninth circle and there is no beatrice on the other side#there is no redeeming quality here and I dont think my marriage can be saved#and that leads into to the choice to betray shiv#because you're already in the devil's domain and you have no virgil to help you out. what else can you do#not that the situation justifies his actions. but it creates the moral apathy required to go through with it#bc genuinely I do not think he would have betrayed shiv like that in season 1 or season 2#so the question is what about him changed#and I think the progression of his corruption arc is a big part of the answer to that question#not the whole answer but it is important#maybe I'll finish it one of these days lmao
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thewickerking · 11 months
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had a dream I had a boyfriend and he wanted to come to a therapy session to talk abt smn unrelated to our relationship (this was 100% cool with me) but my therapist instantly hated him and she was like "justify to me why you're here 🤨🤨🤨 name something u like abt ridley and then maybe ill let u talk" like what 😭😭 it was just me being a mediator bc they were arguing. Which is insane it was like couples therapy but evil
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boileddogchicken · 4 months
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wuh oh i'm thinking so hard abt several of my ocs at the same time and as a result none of the thoughts are coherent it's all just aaaaaaaa my women up in there
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j-esbian · 7 months
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see the problem with all of the puzzles in bg3 is like. sometimes the player (me) is stupid. and at least in a real dnd game you might get the dm to take pity on you
#the number of ‘’walkthroughs’’ that i’ve found that don’t actually. help#they tell you the map coordinates or whatever. what about if i cannot physically find what you’re talking about AT THOSE COORDINATES#or cannot figure out how to get to those coordinates (like when i spent three days trying to find karlach)#i’m in hell. actually still having a very hard time getting invested and like. not rly enjoying this game lmao#I AM PLAYING ON EXPLORER MODE AND SOMEONE GOES DOWN IN ALMOST EVERY COMBAT#also just. open world syndrome a little bit#too many quests that apparently i can’t actually move forward in yet. and too much open space#making me feel like. i need to go explore and grind when i just want to finish the quests i already have good lord#idrc about exploring every corner of the map. at this point???#tried going into the mountain pass and it was like ‘hey you’re really low level. reconsider <3’ and im like#literally WHAT is there to do for me here#(it wanted me to go to the underdark. which i figured would progress the story so i was trying to find lae’zel’s crèche while we’re here??)#also on a non gameplay note#inSANE that all of the questlog items for daughter of darkness list her and i having interactions that We Did Not#got to act 2 and she’s like ‘hey i worship shar btw. this is supposed to be a reveal’ but like. the quest log told me that immediately??#was i not supposed to read that?? she never told me that she wanted to join the justiciars. i never gave her the idol.#but it said all of those happened???#maybe i’m biased bc my first save was trying to play as her but it REALLY feels like they’re pushing her to be the main character#like. kinda sucks how she’s the only companion you can check in with and say ‘how do you think we’re doing’#and these fucking controls#why are the items hit boxes so weird. my cursor is a centimeter away and yet it still highlights something#the label isn’t actually next to the thing it’s describing so holding the alt key does nothing to show me where it is#god forbid you try to point at something through an open door#the fucking. camera angles. impossible to see what i’m doing or where i’m going because the trees and walls and shit keep getting in the way#straight up not having a good time#but this was a lot of money and i’ve heard it picks up#when tho#also the fact that i rly like wyll and he’s got like. nothing. id heard he has less content than other origins but#didn’t realize it was to a noticeable extent#maybe it’ll pick up and give him more to talk about once i save his dad. please god
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radioconstructed · 7 months
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// Slow burn radioapple where Al keeps being a menace because that's the best way she knows how to cope with being in crisis, her local Lucifer pushes back bc he shouldn't have to deal with this shit, they keep getting into beef,,, if he's not aware already, he becomes aware that she doesn't get this triggered by anyone else and wonders what the fuck her problem is with him,,
maybe he'll ask her. maybe she'll tell him half. she won't tell him the other half.
maybe he'll figure it out.
#// just thinking as I'm trying to fall asleep. idk if im gonna do an offscreen ship tho idk.#the half of her problem with him she WILL talk about is that he greenlit the extermination (she lived through like 90 and lost friends!!)#he talks to disparagingly of sinners like he's better than everyone else when he's down here too. you're down here too motherfucker.#it took him five months to show up at charlie's project. after CHARLIE invited HIM. charlie may be delusional to Al but at least she's#trying to do SOMETHING for her people! unlike her dad who greenlig a genocide! people don't have to be perfect to deserve not beiny#genocided by a belligerent military power wtf. Al's not a Believer in redemption but she HAS been with Charlie from the beginning#and she has helped A LOT! Regardless of her intentions she's materially helped and invested her time & effort into the hotel! And then#Lucifer WALTZES IN with OPINIONS? and wants to help NOW that its a functional hotel? That's how Al sees it. Like joining a group#project that's mostly done and hijacking it. BITCH! That's HER project! Her + Charlie + Vaggie. And THEN it takes Lucifer ages to show the#fuck up to battle and only for his daughter! So go worry about her don't act like you care about the hotel!! That's how Al feels.#The part she WON'T share? She's intimidated. She's always been. She's aggro to him because she's intimidated.#And she's SCARED. Of being replaced. He can fix up and staff a hotel too. He's more powerful than she is! Everything she has going for her#that makes her Useful as a facility manager? He can do 1000x times over. Charlie doesn't keep Al around for her PERSONALITY!#And NOW? She got her ass handed to her by Adam. She lost a lot of her power. Lucifer kicked Adam's ass. That's HUMILIATING.#(The only saving grace is that her babygal Niffty ended Adam.)#SO YEAH AL is MAD at her local Lucifer for legitimate extermination & hotel stuff but she's also super on edge and easily triggered by him#specifically because she's intimidated and scared and humiliated and grieving her loss of power. So she lashes out.#maybe he'll figure out why.#mun post.
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dragqueenpentheus · 1 year
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i forgot how evil 28 degrees feels on my body i genuinely cant make it a block
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cyphyra · 2 years
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Im not gonna lie the last week or so has just felt like some fever dream and ive lost days of my life to fucking minecraft of all things
Hoping to high hell that i can actually buckle down and focus on work when i get up
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bl00dw1tch · 1 year
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orcelito · 1 year
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Guys I think the writing for fire emblem engage is somehow worse than fire emblem fates. Im a longtime fire emblem fan, I've played every recent game, and this... this is just Awful lmfao
Im still having plenty of fun & I have my handful of characters I love soooo much. But God fucking damn this writing is just some of the worst I've ever seen in a game
(Major spoilers in tags. Ran out of tags so I can't spoiler tag hfkshfj.
Final conclusion (since I ran out of tags): What Even Is This Fucking Game. Definitely my least favorite fire emblem game in many respects, but By God I'm going to finish this bitch and I'm gonna have plenty of fun as I do so. And I'm also going to make fun of every narrative choice it makes along the way bc the writing in this game is just SO fucking bad holy shit. I just need to finish this game and get on with my life already. God fuckin damn.)
#speculation nation#ive been critical of it from the start. bc it really isnt good. tho ive softened in some respects#it's plenty of fun thankfully. i enjoy the battle system a lot & the maps can be challenging in a fun way#but the moment i stop to think about Anything it all just feels so ridiculous#there have been a few moments it's surprised me. plot twists that were Almost cool.#but most of the time it's just throwing a bunch of shit out of left field at me and expecting me to be invested (im not)#so it's like. the 'plot twists' are either things i saw coming from a mile away OR things that r just so fucking insane it's not satisfying#like. the game saying 'oh man this thing you need to get to is at the bottom of this biiiig frozen lake! however will you get there?'#'how about... you trust the woman who has been an antagonist THE ENTIRE GAME UP UNTIL NOW to be telling the truth & to be helping u'#'heres a magic item she used the rest of her life to make! how sad! dont you feel bad for her? she wanted to be a mother!'#'no dont think about all the times she hit your little sister :) she feels bad about it so it's obviously ok actually :)'#'anyways take her magic item. itll get you to the bottom of the lake. how you ask? underwater breathing? PHHHSH'#'NAH your ass is going a thousand years into the past to break this thing b4 it fell into the lake OH ALSO you meet your past self#from when you were evil. good luck! :)'#im. not making any of this up. im not making ANY of this up and i really wish i was.#i was just rubbing my temples for that entire stretch of story it's so fucking stupid.#i think one of the most interesting things it did from a narrative standpoint was take away the rings 12 chapters in#so you hit rock bottom and have to crawl your way back out with the help of some unexpected allies#like. yea that's interesting. EXCEPT from a GAMEPLAY standpoint it's one of my least favorite fucking things in the game#you get used to this set of mechanics but halfway through you have to switch gears to an entirely different set of mechanics#and by the time you finally get everything back & ur army is full and whole. the game is almost over.#itd like that narrative choice SO MUCH MORE if it didnt set me back in such a major way & restrict total gameplay access to the End#every game has a slow trickle in of new characters so you dont have everyone until later in but EVEN THEN#you generally have everyone by 2/3rds way thru the game. then the last third you pick ur favs and u train them for the end#in this game. you dont get everyone until fucking chapter 23 of 26. my army is full and veyle is such a delight to have#but i only got her in CHAPTER. FUCKING. TWENTY THREE OF TWENTY SIX.#i just finished chapter 25. im nearly at the end. i love my main army but it feels like ive barely gotten to know them as a whole#bc it only finally formed TWO CHAPTERS AGO.#im just. god this game is so frustrating in a way ive NEVER experienced before. and ive played a lot of games!!!!!#like dont get me wrong im still having fun with it. i love a lot of the characters and the gameplay (now that i HAVE all of it) is So fun
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juniestar · 1 year
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My psych says I don’t like my mom or my ex because they make me vulnerable but I think it’s because they are/were both serial boundary violators. Well serial boundary violators sounds serious but I mean they are just good kind people who would not leave me alone when i ask(ed)
#i mean so am i so i dont exactly blame them but like. my mom doesnt knock used to hold me down and epilate my body doesnt take no for an#answer ever on anything unless youre MEAN to her and i dont mean anything serious i mean she asked me to go to the store with her to pick#out paint for her walls i said no she asked again i said no she asked again i said no so she went on her own and facetimed me so id help her#pick. my ex had a similar thing where if i was like hey lets not talk tomorrow im burnt out hed be like okay and then the next day early#morning he’d send a good morning text and then several more throughout the day and then we’d call at the end of the night#people do who not let you fucking breathe. i hate it. if i saw my mom less often id probably like her but her so much as sitting next to me#on the couch will have me tense and pissed. she also takes glee in hating things i like and its not a conscious or serious thing but its#really weird. ive done the same for her since i was little i dont know who did it first. like ok we’re moving our new place had wallpaper in#my room i wanted to keep it she wanted to remove it she agreed to keep it and then made plans to remove it bc she was going to get rid of it#at some point later on anyway for the house’s value or something. they removed it recently and she showed me a vid of the place and when she#gets to my room shes like hehehe its goneee like girl what the fuck is going on with you. she wouldnt let me change the decoration of my#room as a child it had to be the way she liked it. even my body had to be the way she liked it dude the epilation thing shed laugh as i#cried (in a shirt and underwear man) bc i was finally hairless. my ex was nowhere near that bad but again ZERO breathing room and whenever#id try to take some hed be like ‘’i just worry that if you take this space you’ll come back and break up with me’’ uh. yeah with that#attitude the breakup’s coming either way. he’s a good guy though just 24 and a man (both sad afflictions) he’ll shape up. or not. idk im no#t invested#he did listen to a lot of what i said just not the basic things of ‘’leave me the fuck alone sometimes’m#im annoyed that my therapist framed this as a me issue but shes right when it comes to me having trouble w vulnerability and i should just#clarify my pov here so she can change her assessment#my ex leaves me alone now. he does a great job at it i thiiink hes moved on which im happy about#i dont know if id ever want to be friends again though idk if either of us can do that#i cant. rn#i understand why he wanted so much from me though. i get it
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swagyna · 1 year
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ok so im tentatively still a gaylor, but after the last few days of thinking hard on it.... tbh i can't help but wonder if it's just a PR stunt.
she knows her fans look for hidden meanings in her songs and she knows we look for clues. it doesn't seem to be too far fetched for her to simply set a trend and have her friends follow suit.
on top of that as well, it's mainstream to be ~kWeEr~ rn, so simply hinting at being not straight is enough to get you a new label; a massive new fanbase, which means new revenue.
and even before getting into the gaylore, ive been a heavy critic of TS because of how capitalistic she is. taking her private jet EVERYWHERE, giant mansions, midnight having FOUR different vinyl releases??? i do enjoy her work, but that doesn't mean she's free from criticism.
pretty much, unless she comes out as SSA, i can't help but think there's a shitload of baiting going on. i mean, we don't know who she is?? she's clearly an amazing business woman, very intelligent. it just wouldn't shock me if she's being disingenuous to make more money. but at this point, why does she need more LOL she's projected to gross $1 billion with this tour.
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