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multifandombxxch · 2 years

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Okay you guys have been asking how the date went.

I realized I didn’t mention this in my earlier post but he’s a white dude with long hair but the sides are trimmed .

We met up on campus so we could head to the library together.

Picking out an outfit and doing my hair for this was hell😭😭

But if you must know😌 I settled for a pink long sleeve crop top and a short cute denim skirt and my pink platform slides😌😌

I slicked my hair back into a bun (if I had braids in this would’ve been so much easier😭)

But Yh that was my outfit.

When I got there we had already agreed to meet at the campus cafe so Yh.

My heart was practically in my ass y’all😭😭😭😭 I was so nervous ffs🤦🏿‍♀️

He was wearing a regular T-shirt and some jeans and a fucking silver chain🧍🏿‍♀️

Silver accessories bring the whore out in me😭😭

I had to cross the road to get to the cafe and while I was crossing I realized he didn’t see me cuz he was looking down at his phone and I was like That’s fucking cute😭😭

But anyways I went up to him and I was like “heyyyyyy”

Y’all

When he looked up from his phone and saw me he fucking looked me up and down and then smirked🧍🏿‍♀️

A fucking smirk🥹

He said hi back and told me I looked nice and my stupid ass said hi again😭😭 and went in for a hug

And when I tell you this man smelt AMAZINGGGG

I was this🤏🏿close to dropping to my knees.🥲

Anyways

We started making our way to the parking lot cuz apparently he wanted to drive us to the library instead of taking the public transportation.

Now Ik this should not have been my first thought after seeing the type of car he had but it was😭😭

The man had a whole Audi parked up as if it was a normal dandy day💀

When I saw the car yall I literally stopped walking💀💀 I was like

“Ohhhhh you got money moneyyyyy”

Which he laughed at💀 and told me his parents work in finance or smt like that so he got it for his 16th birthday🧍🏿‍♀️

My no drivers license ass stood there like🧍🏿‍♀️

Anyways while driving we talked about a looooooott

Like I can’t even remember most of the convo but he did make a comment that almost made me pass out

“You’re so fucking adorable”🥹🥹

I’m done.

So done.

It was the first I ever heard him curse and let me tell you😮‍💨😮‍💨

So we get to the library and by this time I’m a fidgety mess. Also giddy

The library is literally my favourite place in the whole entire world guys😭😭

So I practically jump out the car the minute he parks and I didn’t realize it immediately but he was smiling at me 🥹

Then proceeds to tease me about how he’s never seen anyone this excited to go into a library.

We have a playful argument with me basically telling him that libraries are bomb af and him telling me they’re not.

Anyways he picked up nothing…which I found absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂😂

I picked up about 4 different books and be judged me for every single one💀

So as heading up to the cashier he pulls me back and takes the books from me and he looks at me and he’s like

“I’m paying for everything today”

Now the way I grew up I have a very hard time accepting when somebody pay for stuff for me especially men so I immediately refused allowing him to do that but he gave me silent treatment and paid for them anyways 🧍🏿‍♀️. (We still argue over text about that…even though he says when I’m with him I shouldn’t even think of paying for anything)

We head back out to the car and he asks me what I want to eat and I explain to him that I’m trying to space out my meals so that I don’t over eat😬(been going through episodes past of recently with my body image)

And he asks me when was the last time I ate and I was like “8 this morning”

Y’all the way he looked at me😟😭

And practically commanded me to get in the car

“We’re getting you something to eat”

I said nothing bcz well…I was hungry😭😭😭💀💀💀

So we had quite a drive to get some Chinese and we ate in the car .

As I’m eating he starts telling me about himself and I learnt a lot🥹

I was having so much fun y’all.

And I told him that.

And he was like “me too I want to do this again with you”

And I was like sure but you have to pick the next date

(He wants to see a movie on Valentine’s Day)

We talk some more and eventually the topic of ex’s come up and I explained that I had never had a bf before🧍🏿‍♀️(I grew up with strict parents yall😭)

And he was like “good cuz I want you to be my girlfriend and I don’t feel like sharing you with anyone”

I was like😧😧😧

“Girlfriend? When did we come to that conclusion?”

Basically tells me five minutes into the date he ‘solidified’ the thought.

And l I could say was “oh”

I’m awkward sorry💀

We talked some more after that and eventually it was time to conclude the date.

Driving back was soooooooooo loooonnggggg and bcz night was coming it started to get cold yall

And yk I was in a short skirt🙂

He realized and started to rub my thigh to “warm me up” 😭

Take me now Lord😭

So I give him the directions to my house and he drops me off and walks me to my door

Basically tells me he had fun and stuff and then leans in and gives me a kiss on the cheek.🧍🏿‍♀️

Yh you read that correctly 😭

“You were really pretty today…I love this skirt on you”

😧😧😧

I sorry?!

Are you trying to make me jump you rn?!

Anyways I tell him to text me when he gets home and the date ended there😌.

I loved every second of it and I think I’m developing an obsession with him 😭😭😭

I mentioned to him over text once that I wanted to get braids soon and he was like

“How much?

Yh definitely daddy material

We’ve been eating lunch together on campus but I can’t see him often bcz he’s doing computer science and I’m doing marketing so that’s under two different faculties 🥲🥲

I will say though there is not a day that goes by without him telling me to eat on time😭😭

Practically cussed me out if I miss my meal time 🥹

I won’t lie though I love every second of it

Ohhh and he’s recently been calling me “Krissy”

I’ve been calling him giant💀 because The guy is huge yall

But yeah.

That’s it so far🥹

#nct johnny #nct mark #nct 127 #nct dream #nct haechan #nct jaehyun #nct taeil #nct taeyong #nct smut #nct imagines #nct yuta #chubby #library date #i have a crush #first date

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spaceferren-comics · 5 months

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heyyyyyy i have many questions about your project because it’s awesome 😎

what IS Typhon? how did he come to be?

how did everyone meet?

who is considered the most powerful of all the characters?

love these characters so much i’ll consume y’all’s art

Tysm!! For Typhon, since he’s got so many different alternate versions (Typhon Valac aka Horror Typhon, Snatched/Main Universe Typhon, Mooties Typhon, etc) Im gonna assume you’re referring to Typhon Valac since that’s who ya made fanart of! :33 I’ll have his long ass story down below cuz even the basic synopsis is long lmfao

Irl we all met over roblox rp servers LMFAO, but in universe we met mostly through various comical means

Of all our OCs the most powerful is like Toy-Maker, who’s basically an unknowable force of unbridled chaos. He’s sorta like if you mixed Bill Cipher, Jevil, Dimention, Klefka, Marx etc. into one horrific mix lmfao

(Long story ahead for Typhon Valac, prepare thyselves)

Typhon Valac

Horror Typhon (also known as 'Typhon V' for 'Typhon Valac') is a humanoid yet monstrous wendigo-esque rabbit creature. This demonic beast appears very much like a skinny, starved, yet muscular ghoul- with torn and tethered rotting skin that loosely clings to the muscular frame of the creature. However, he strangely wears a pair of almost cartoonish white gloves, not much different from say Mickey Mouse or the likes, likely tied to his past as a Disney Employee/Animator.

Typhon V is the twisted spirit of Cecil Cuminotto, an Italian immigrant who worked as an animator at Walt Disney studios in the mid 1980s (during most of Disneys layoffs, and while the company was in a massive slump). in Burbank, California. Cecils' life could best be described by two words: Constant Work. Indeed Cecil worked day and night, doing above and beyond what should have been necessary- always under the threat of fire from the uptight and rigorous company. However it was his passion, so for the most part, he didn't mind- and in his spare time, he even liked to make sketches and rough animations of Oswald the Lucky Rabbit (though he hid this from the company, as he didn't belong to Disney at the time) to entertain himself or his fiancé.

This would all change tragically however as come 1984, said fiancé, Katherine Gell, who died tragically in a horrific car accident with a young and inebriated Nicholas Martin- tragically, on the day of their honeymoon no less. Distraught at his loss, Cecil asked for a few months off to process his grief- and was denied, and was thus not even allowed to attend his own SO's funeral. This sent Cecil into a massive downward spiral of depression in and out of the workplace, his own mental instability making him begin to see her everywhere he looked- like a phantom haunting him. His guilt ate him alive- and in a desperate bid to reprieve himself, he reached out to friends and family alike- neither able to help him.

Distraught and mentally ill, Cecil did everything he could to make the constant pain and misery end- such as drowning himself in a waterfall of drugs and alcohol. Noticing his changed demeanor at work, he was investigated- and dozens of anti-depressants and liquor bottles were found hidden in his desk. Immediately fired, the now purposeless addict only continued his spiral by subjecting himself to more and more dangerous concoctions of drugs, alcohol, and anything that could make him simply stop thinking anymore. After taking a particularly lethal (and large) dose of Heroin, Ecstasy, and Hard Vodka, Cecil died alone and painfully in a dark alleyway, forgotten and left to rot. His intense rage, guilt, pain, and overall suffering made his spirit linger- refusing to move on, and thus: a voice called out to him.

A sultry and booming voice, one compiled of millions of collective voices, actually. An entity that simply called itself 'The Darkness' reached out to the distraught spirit- offering Cecil power, resolve, and the ability to get revenge against everyone who made his life so miserable. Unsure at first, the all-powerful eldritch god promised Cecil everlasting splendors, and that getting revenge/inflicting suffering on everyone who ever wronged him would bring him peace. And with peace, maybe, just maybe, a chance to see his fiancé. Cecil leapt at the chance, agreeing to bring forth as much pain and misery as humanly possible into the world of the living.

And thus Typhon V was born, his spirit possessing his still rotting corpse- and his darkness tainting and corrupting the already rotting body into something no longer human. Now having a rabbit-skull-like face to cover his own rotting face below it, long and gangly ears, and generally disproportionate features for a human. Ironically, he got to keep the gloves he once drew nonstop- now forever a piece of him and his attire.

Typhon V is no longer Cecil- even if he may have remnants of who he once was. Only hate and a desire to bring forth suffering upon his victims remain. Like a Shakespearean, he was reborn from the tortured soul of Cecil, a tragic figure whose life was marred by despair and addiction. Typhon V's genesis was thus marked by a harrowing demise—a consequence of the vices and suffering that ultimately consumed him. Bound by his insatiable thirst for retribution against the people he views failed him, he emerged from the depths of the beyond, like a plague soon to be unleashed, twisted, and malformed. He first targeted his family, slowly but surely picking off all the Cuminottos, often the cause of death being deduced as a 'Suicide'. However, even after their demise came no salvation- as Typhon kept them in a personal hellscape of his own design- a horrific personal little world where the souls of his victims reside. This black-and-white world, not too different from an old-school Disney cartoon, is where the demon regularly plays Cat and Mouse with unfortunate victims' souls who've been caught.

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kyruskumiho27 · 1 year

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Warnings: •none

Summary: Buckys falling hard

Heyyyyyy how y’all doin’?

Anyways this is a little self indulgent story (idea???)

I know I am definitely going to write more, I just don’t know when.

Enjoy😊

Bucky was insane. He was stupid, even.

There was you, and then there was him. He couldn't, wouldn't, refused to have a crush on you. I mean, he had literally just meet you not even two hours ago!

When you had first walked in, he had assumed you were a new addition to the team.

Which you were, but not the whole team. You were assigned to him, James Buchanan Barnes himself. He didn't know or understand why. Not until Stark came sauntering in, smirk plastered on his face as he made direct eye contact with Bucky.

"Everyone, meet Phemi, Barneses personal babysitter! "

Everybody glanced at Bucky, portraying the same confusion on their faces. You bowed, fucking bowed, and smiled warmly at them.

“It’s nice to meet you all.” You said, looking at each of them in turn. Your eye’s lingered a bit on Bucky.

Steve glanced between the two of you before turning back to Tony. “Can you please explain what the hell is going on Stark? We don’t have time for your games.”

Tony’s smile only grew wider.

“ She’s his new therapist.” He said plainly.

I already have a therapist. Bucky thought, and he said as much. “Well now you have a new one.” Tony shrugged. Steve stared at him blankly.

“ What do you mean he ‘has a new one’? What happened to the other one?” Steve had crossed his arms, clearly not convinced. You jumped in.

“ What Mr. Stark means to say is that I am your new government appointed therapist.” You cut a glare at Tony before continuing. “The old one they fired because they wanted someone working directly under Stark. They needed someone as close to you as possible.”

Bucky didn’t even care anymore. Your accent was rich, and it sounded like a summers day. Your voice was sweet as you talked, but it was clear you were trying to explain things to him. He was already falling in love with you, and you had just meet.

It still wasn’t cutting it for Steve.

“Why? Just in case he turns back? That he becomes bad again?” Oh. Oh.

Bucky looked down.

You sighed. “ Just because the government doesn’t trust him doesn’t mean I don’t either. I am here for Bucky.” You were looking at Bucky as you said it, but you turned your head to Steve.

“ I am here to help Mr. Rogers.”

(Lol I just realized how short this is)

#shy Bucky Barnes #strangers to lovers #(eventually)#bucky x reader #soft bucky barnes #fluff

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crazylittlejester · 3 months

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Heyyyyyy how y’all doiiinnnggg…..

It’s been while, hey siri play “DEAD” by Melanie Martinez -

A) from that old post about what I would want to see in the fic: lwk I’m cool w/ whatever I put in (what I though was at the time) a prompt for like 500 words and did not think this far ahead 😭 lol I trust ur judgement on whatever gets added I’ll eat it up like those rlly yummy life saver mints

B) I’m back babyyyyyy the Ao3 curse works harder but I’m harder >:3

may or may not have almost died but that’s okay it keeps me on my toes. I have new medical insight on how to improve my whump 💪🤩😍

C) I’m abesolutely so sorry about that anon (ik I’m super late to the party) what they said was so out of line and I cannot think of what you could have even possibly done that would (unjustly) cause such a reaction?? People are assholes especially when they can abuse anonymousy online. I’m glad u seem to be doing ok 💜

D) I know i say this every time and blah blah blah but please make sure to not push urself over creating content and pleasing followers. I will (likely) not be dying anytime soon and I can wait as long as necessary for the Cia fic dude I make the prompt with the understanding that with you as the writer I would be meeting your needs/criteria for my silly little mentally ill twink to get sent through the meat grinder. Take as long as you need 💜

On a much less feely note:

(No hate to you or anyone really who has this opinion)

Theory/hot take/opinion/etc:

Echoes of Wisdom (new game coming in sept) Zelda ≠ Fable (from SNES + game boy games)

Like, I get it, on a surface level it makes so much sense because the EOW game is in the same artsyle as the Links Awakening (remastered) game. Nintendo doesn’t really use the same artsyle with games (atleast since the N64) unless they are direct sequels, prequels, or otherwise linked (BOTW & AOC). New game but with the same artsyle as previous game? Obviously linked!

Except, no??? Here’s where that opinion doesn’t hold as strong:

the main peice of evidence here is that the Zelda in the trailers is the Zelda from OOT.

(I really wish I could put pictures as anon 😭)

Verbatim. That is her. She is wearing a pink dress, trapped in a pink crystal, while link fights and eventually cracks open said crystal. It’s hard to see the dress because of the crystal obscuring it, but in another clip (when the staff is first seen i believe) you can see her in the dress and it’s her.

Even if it’s not, it’s definitely not Fable.

There are two (?) versions of the Zelda’s that fall under “Fable”. one is in a blue dress (ALTTP) and one is in a white dress white a pink over apron-thingy. While its arguable that the crystal makes it look pink, or its too dark to see anything, ultimately the tabard is not the same and the top being two parts is not there, so no, its not Fable.

Which is really weird, because the Link is in fact the same link as the SNES + Gameboy (I call it the “Pixel Era”) Link. Brown Longsleeved undershirt + green sleeveless dress-tunic over it. Even weirder, he wield the hylian sheild. WHICH DID NOT EXIST BEFORE OOT. Again, not Pre-3D link.

It does exist in ALBW, meaning if you are into LU then it works with legend being the same person in all those games, but ALBW is canonically the “successor” to ALTTP

BUT GANON IS HERE?????? Hellooo????

(Fun fact: Gannon is what his pig/beast form is called while gannondorf is what his Gerudo form is called! :D)

Gannon only exists in the pixel Era games + ALBW. All of the 3d games use gannondorf. So this is such a weird thing to exist.

EVEN MORE CONFUSING, THE ZORA!?!??!?

If you don’t know what im referring to, for like literally 2-5 seconds there is a clip of the zora of this game. Ok, cool. Zelda game, with water, therefore there’s obviously gonna be zora.

(This is a “duh” moment for older fans but pls stick with me lol)

There are two versions of the zora: pre-OoT and post-OoT. TLDR; pre-OoT they look like horrifying fish monsters and try to kill you, Post-OoT they become hot and even get shipped with link in the later games. Hyrule historia (which is not the most reliable sometimes) explains it better but it has to do with the big Triple Timeline. The difference in zora design depends on which timeline you’re looking at, one of the timelines doesn’t have them at all.

So what’s so confusing? Is does the zora design not fit?

Yes!! You know why? BECAUSE THERE ARE TWO OF THEM. BOTH ZORA DESIGNS. IN THE SAME GAME. CLEARLY INTERACTING IN THE FIVE SECOND CLIP.

Also this was pointed out by my sibling: in the beginning, the hood long wears is eerily similar to the Hylian Hood in totk/botw. Later on in the trailer, my cousin pointed out a canon that looked “like it was zonai tech” but it was just a green cannon so tbh that’s more loose.

The Gaurd designs are also kinda weird to me? I can’t tie them back to any of the games bc of the weird helmet shape, and their uniforms look exactly like link’s first outfit in Hyrule warriors, though that seems unintentional.

Anyways. This game is. Something. I really don’t think it’s related to previous games (I hope not for the sake of lore holes it could tear up) but what we do know is:

- OoT Zelda has been taught Ctrl C + Ctrl V by magic yellow orb and uses a staff.

- Likely Takes place in the downfall timeline due to artstyle, the fact that the enemy zora exist, and the fact that Gannon is here in beast form

- atleast some inspiration from botw/Totk with the copying and open exploration mechanics

- there is maybe some alternate space/dimension bullshit from that one clip of Zelda moving blocks of water like she’s Moses

- takes place where the Hylian shield exists and therefore likely the story of a hero is still a thing

- takes place where BOTH ZORA meet and interact with eachother

This is driving me crazy. My dad says it’s the Zelda multiverse 😭

Sorry for the word vomit, I rlly needed to info dump ✌️

Your favorite void crawler,

Mandarin Warriors 🍊

OH MY GOD HEY, HI, I WAS GENUINELY WORRIED ABOUT YA

a. alskkddk okay 👍

b. oh my god I really hope that you’re doing okay dude, or at least that you’re feeling a bit better 🫶🫶🫶 sending hugs and love your way my guy

c. people sometimes suck and I considered turning off anons for a bit after that but i have too many wonderful anons and id hate to lose any of em because of one idiot

d. it’s going to be the next thing I put up when I come back from my so called ‘mental health break from writing’ 😭 (i literally can’t seem to stop writing, i am glued to my google docs 💔). Im not sure if you saw the post (and its totally okay if you didn’t, youve clearly been going through a lot and i genuinely hope that you’re okay) where I said part of why it’s takin so long js because I’m writing two separate versions of the fic because it’s heavy enough I feel it should be rated mature, but I’m making a ‘watered down version’ for people who were really waiting for this fic but dont wanna read anything rated higher than teen. I don’t write explicit things, but we’ve crossed the line from ‘implying things’ and into the ‘traumatic past events are being discussed’ zone and if im gonna write about trauma I’m gonna Write About Trauma, an’ yeah

i really hope you don’t die anytime soon anon, i don’t know what it is exactly that you just went through and you do not have to tell me, but i sincerely hope you’re doing okay, and if not okay, at least feeling better. I really was worried about ya 💜

and to yap about EoW:

IM GLAD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THE HOOD AND THOUGHT OF THE ZONAI STUFF, IT REMINDED ME A LOT OF TOTK

i think itd be really cool if it was a new Link and Zelda. I love the like, art/animation style they chose, and I doubt nintendo is ever gonna tell us which Link this is 💀 but we can always have our theories 💔

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YAPPIN, ITS WHAT THE YAP BOX IS FOR! FEEL FREE TO INFODUMP WHENEVER DUDE I LOVE IT HEAR IT, AND YOU SERIOUSLY HAD A LOT OF INTERESTING THINGS TO SAY

i know this is like the fourth time im saying this but again, I hope you’re alright. I missed ya, it’s good to hear from you again 💜

#jes talks #jes ask #for mandarin wars anon

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littlerosetrove · 6 months

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Yoooo another banger episode! Hot dang this feels great, y’all. ✌️ I’m really impressed with their balance of dramatic/emotional scenes with comedic scenes in this episode. It was so fast paced, but somehow they got everything in. Once again seeing the connection of the 118 is all I want. ❤️ That’s a team and a family. This was Athena, Bobby’s, and Hen’s episode.

Now my initial Spoiler Thoughts for 7x3:

Bobby is a badass! Hahaha Athena saying she wishes Buck could see Bobby do the rescue, and Bobby wishing he’d seen Buck do it instead.

Wes! My man!! So good under pressure helping Bobby and rescuing Norman. And then… yeah I cried when Wes died. What didn’t help was him telling his captain to tell his wife and kid he loves them. =(((((( Another lovely touch was Bobby holding Wes’s hand before he had to leave.

Corey’s family is like Home Alone with Kevin being left. Twice. I enjoyed the chaotic comedy the family gave though.

Norman believes in Bobby. <333 Norman is such a great hype man for Bobby and Wes, but he’s also a bit of a savage with Lola. Well deserved.

Huh, Tommy ready and willing to help people he knew from the 118 to uh, go above board? Well to do a rescue that wasn't sanctioned or whatever the term is. Nice. He’s got a sense of humor too, which I certainly appreciate.

“I think this is an open channel.” himbo Buck 😆

Loved the comedy in the helicopter both times. Honestly great comedic timing from everyone.

I like that Eddie will have a better memory now in association with helicopters.

Really impressed with the balance of heavier moments with lighter moments, as I said in the non spoiler part, but it’s true.

Dude I was getting misty eyed when the chopper was coming down because they saw the flare. Wtf. 🥲

"Need a lift?" Eddie and Buck saving Bobby and Corey! <333

Don’t think I didn’t miss the blocking on that rescue ship. Buck and Eddie standing next to each other, then Tommy being in the middle. Then Buck doing a “thank you for the help” shoulder grab. People can interpret that however they please, but it really did just look like grateful thanks from Buck to Tommy. And btw, I’m not opposed to Buck and Tommy possibly being romantically involved for a time. Like, I don’t feel strongly about Tommy one way or the other right now, but he seems like a decent dude I guess. While I’m still hoping for a Buck and Eddie endgame, it’s perfectly okay and fine if Buck dates other guys before dating Eddie. That’s life, yeah? (...although I am wondering if Buck will still have a bi awakening, but may not date someone. like. i really don't know, but who knows? maybe Buck and Eddie will still be the first guys they're with. we'll have to wait and see.)

And Lola is back to jail? Prison?? Probably prison this time. I did appreciate that she owned up to her big mistakes and apologized to Norman.

The Bobby and Athena reunion hug? That was sweet.

Oh so Hen will not get in trouble. I still feel like she’s going on some kinda arc this season, something to deal with… maybe some biases and how she makes calls? Someone else may have phrased this better than me. In any case, I’m curious where it’s all going for her.

Yay more Hen and Maddie scenes! Heh, and Hen thanking Maddie for - I can’t remember the phrasing now, but basically for being a gossip with Chimney haha.

Athena and Bobby just. laughing at the stress of it all once back home, then…. *sexy music starts playing* 👀 Heyyyyyy. 🤙

Oh! Before I forget. Once again Buck and Eddie were, I think, in every scene together. Never separated. Others in fandom have spotted this *gestures* thing going on this season so far. Any scene Buck is in? Eddie is with him. 👀 Okay. 👀 👀

Another really fun episode. Again I was so happy to see our 118 family talking/calling/communicating with each other. That’s when this show is strongest, when they’re together and not separated *cough* unlike in season 6 and some of season 5 *cough*. Anyway!

Hm, I do think this 3 episode story could’ve been 4 episodes if they had a longer season. But given the time constraint, I think they did a great job. =))

#911 spoilers #9-1-1 #my thoughts

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tracesofswift · 1 year

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heyyyyyy……. how y’all doing

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itsdannysworld · 1 year

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Faded

hey heyyyyyy i promised y’all a danny fic and i stick to my promises pairing: danny wagner x y/n summary: smoking up with danny at a party leads to some pretty cool things (kinda friends to lovers? idk just keep reading) CW: uhh swearing, weed use, alcohol, idfk kissing and maybe some sexual innuendos?

Somehow every time you went to party you wound up finding the four boys who’ve changed your life for the better. Whether it be an established party or a grungey house party you would never imagine them being at. However this time, it was a party thrown by the twins themselves. There wasn’t any particular reason for the party, but that didn’t matter to them, or you in all honesty. You changed into your favorite outfit and did your makeup with tons of glitter, blasting your favorite playlist from the speakers around your apartment. You danced around as you added jewelry to your outfit and grabbed your bag that always hung by the door. Checking your makeup in the hallway mirror one last time, you shut off the music and started your journey towards the twins house. It was a short drive, one you were extremely familiar with. You were told to get to the house early, but judging by the amount of cars in the driveway, you were definitely a little late. You walked in without knocking and immediately ran smack dab into Sam. “Y/n! I’m glad you made it! How’ve you been? How’s work?” You could tell right away he was already a little tipsy, but you didn’t mind it. I mean, it was always nice to hear that someone wants to know what’s going on in your life. “I’ve been good! Work’s been a bitch, but when is it not?” He laughed. “I’ve missed you!” “Sam, I saw you last week” You had always been close to Sam. He was a total sweetheart and crazy funny, and you always had a good time when he was around. His girlfriend ruined the moment though, dragging him away from you before you could continue the conversation. She never did like you and you never understood why. “Nice talking to you I guess.” You mumbled as you ventured farther into the party. You greeted everyone that you knew and continued making your way towards the kitchen hoping to find a drink and if you’re lucky, maybe a joint or two. The kitchen wasn’t as crowded as you thought it would be, but you still felt uncomfortable with all the movement going on around you, and thankfully someone took notice. “Hey y/n, it’s good to see you!” You spun around to see Danny right behind you. He engulfed you in a hug that took your breath away, literally. “Danny! How’ve you been? Also please tell me you have weed on you.” You said the last part way to quickly, but you always knew he had some and you would much prefer to be high than drunk. “Of course I do, wanna go outside? This place is getting stuffy” He grabbed your hand and dragged you close behind him. He had never been this touchy with you, and you realized that it made your heart flutter. ‘Y/n I refuse to let you have a crush on him’ You thought as you had both made it outside. “Do you have a lighter? I forgot mine” He said as he pulled out a perfectly rolled joint from his pocket. One thing about Danny is he always rolled his joints perfectly, putting your almost perfect ones to shame. “Yeah I got one” You handed him the lighter you always kept in the front pocket of your bag. It was a shitty white bic lighter that barely had enough fuel to keep it lit for more than 10 seconds. “Aren’t white lighters bad luck for musicians?” “I mean I can light it, I just thought since you rolled it you should have the first puff.” He handed you the joint and lighter, “I’m not taking the risk, plus ladies first” He had a stupid grin across his face, one that you probably matched, You lit the joint and took a long puff, almost immediately feeling it. “Damn what is this stuff? It’s strong as hell.” He laughed and took the joint from your fingers. “Some shit Josh bought awhile back, I can ask him later.”

You both were totally faded and there was only enough left in the joint for one last puff. “You can have it, I think I’ll survive without one last hit” You both erupted into a fit of giggles, even though what you said wasn’t all that funny. “Shotgun it?” He suggested handing it to you. “Oh uh, ok. Don’t expect much though, shotgunning has never been my specialty.” You took the last hit and threw down the tiny bit left and put it out with your shoe as you inhaled. You knew this could be a bad idea, having your lips that close to his would be too much, cause god he was beautiful right now. You pulled him in close and blew the smoke into his mouth. You quickly pulled away, knowing that was the only way you could stop yourself from kissing him. You knew you were red, but when you looked up at his face he giggled quietly. “Can I actually kiss you?” You didn’t even respond before your lips connected with his, you had always thought he was pretty, but this was the moment you knew you needed him in any other way than just platonic. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in close, and you tangled your hands in his long hair. It may have been the weed, but this was the most passionate kiss you’ve ever had. He pulled away with a goofy smile on his face, and you knew damn well you had the same smile. “God you’re beautiful” You giggled and pulled him in for another kiss. You never wanted his lips to leave yours. After what seemed like hours he pulled away and rested his head on yours. “You know, I’ve never had sex while high” You admitted. “The twins have a spare bedroom if you wanna try it out.” You grabbed his hand, “Why not?”

(hehe i may add a part two, make this a slight friends with benefits to actual lovers thing? also i didnt reread this at all, im too lazy so sorry lmao)

#gvf #danielgvf #daniel gvf #josh gvf #jake gvf #gvf fanfiction #gvf blurb #greta van fleet fic #stoned

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hyuckswoman · 6 months

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omg so real bae i love that blog too and i also love YEWWW 🫶🫶 i cackled pls how r u so funny hdfsfjkdfj

(ur fav jeno stan anonie has reentered the chat!)

heyyyyyy missed u pooks how have u been????? and plss i’m glad you enjoyed this??? i wanna make so many more text imagines i just have ZEROOO inspo that’s why i’m always begging people at the end of my post to send me reqs (y’all work harder than i do) also how are you cause nomin in smoothie is…phewwww hope you didn’t die or smt pls

#asks #anonymous

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heymacy · 3 years

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📝🕑💬

#✨writing break✨#heyyyyyy how y’all doin #y’all ever write so much for so long that words start to look fake and everything looks like it’s spelled wrong?#i just almost had a breakdown over the word ‘preference’#look me dead in the eyes and tell me that word doesn’t look fake as fuck #there’s too many goddamn E’s WHY DO WE NEED SO MANY #anyway chapter 8 is coming along nicely but i anticipate a very late night if i’m gonna get everything done in time + do a full edit 🥴#s’okay though because i can sleep in as late as i want tomorrow #she stays winning ladies and gentlemen 😇#i’m gonna watch a 5 minute good place compilation to reset my brain then get back to work #alexa? play queen’s ‘under pressure’ 😌✨

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fortheloveoffinnickodair · 2 years

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she kills monsters

summary: you came in and shielded him from the cruel world, Bucky will never be able to live with the fact he couldn’t do the same for you

pairing: bucky barnes x female reader

word count: 5.2k

warnings: ANGSTTT😌, nightmares, bucky’s trauma, violence, stomach injuries, stabbing, blood, just icky violent stuff

a/n: heyyyyyy y’all !! how’s everyone doing? okay so i had this fic in my head for a bit and it’s finally done <3

masterlist | send requests

Darkness consumed Bucky’s sight as he lurched forward. His chest heaved rapidly, a desperate attempt to control his erratic breathing. The room was silent aside from the sounds of his labored lungs and pathetic whimpers. His vibranium hand had a grasp so tight the rough and tattered blanket he laid with had torn. You always told him to ask Stark to get him newer blankets, even offered to give him one you’d hand knit. But he couldn’t accept it. He didn’t deserve such nice things. He’d only allowed himself one good thing, and that was you.

Once his breathing began to slow, he brought a hand up to his chest, tugging gently on the silver chain draped around his neck. The small tags dug into his palm as he pulled harder. He couldn’t remember the last time he had to fight off a nightmare by himself. Ever since you joined the team, you’d taken a strong liking to him. You wedged yourself into his life, sensing he needed someone like that. Your soft touches, kind words, gentle patience, and aura balanced out his abrasive and hostile manner. As soon as you discovered his night terrors, you swore you’d never let him fight them off alone. Not as long as you were there.

Bucky swore you had some sort of sixth sense for his distress. Often, he’d wake up from his horrific dreams in your arms. You’d already wrapped him in your embrace, calmed him down, and helped ease him gently from the terror. On the rare occasion, you weren’t there already, he only had to wait a few seconds before he heard the soft patter of your feet in the hallway, followed by you slipping through his door and enveloping him in your arms. He never had to feel scared for long when you were around. You were his safe place.

But not tonight.

You’d gone out with Nat and Wanda. The three of you were in desperate need of “a normal night”, as Nat had so bluntly put it. With a soft kiss on the cheek, Bucky saw you out the door. He always stayed up on nights you went out drinking, just in case something happened. Just in case, you needed him. But tonight was different. You begged him to get some sleep, to at least try for you. You could see the ever-present dark circles under his eyes growing worse. How he trudged around the compound like he was on low battery mode. Especially after he dislocated his knee on last week's mission, you were insistent. He was better, the injury now just an occasional burning ache and a sore reminder of his recklessness.

After you left, he’d seen a string of messages from you, kindly requesting for him to turn in for the night. The sweet combination of emojis and <3 hearts had gotten to him. He knew Sam was going to be up late finishing that ridiculous lego set Parker had given him for the Christmas gift exchange. You would be fine, Sam would take care of you. What you wanted was for him to get rest, right?

Sitting in his own sweat on the cold floors of his room, Bucky wished he’d just stayed up for you. No doubt the nightmares were brought on by his worry for you. Glancing over the other side of his bed, he checked the time. 2:16 am. He didn’t want to go back to sleep. What was the point in trying? He’d just return to the horrors of his mind, watching all the atrocities he committed on a loop.

The soft sound of his door creaking jolted him from his thoughts. Looking up, he saw your kind face peeking through the crack of the door frame. The tension in his chest instantly slipped away as he watched you shut the door behind you and race to his side. The violent tremors that racked his frame had subsided into a weak shake as he felt your hands running along his arms and back. One found his jaw, caressing his cheek and wiping away the last few tears on his face. Bucky leaned into your touch, relishing in your presence.

“Hey, baby. What’s going on?” you asked, already knowing the answer.

You felt the cool metal of Bucky’s hand as it gripped around your wrist by his jaw. He pulled you closer, resting his forehead on yours as he placed his flesh hand at your waist.

“The usual,” he said, his voice worn out from screaming all night. Your heart ached at the sound, wishing you’d been there to ease him out of it. You didn’t want to imagine how he awoke, alone in the cold darkness of his room, shaking as he reached for you only to find nothing.

“I’m sorry, honey. I should’ve been here. I wish I’d-” you started but he cut you off.

“No, no it’s not your job to take care of me. You deserve to have fun with your friends,” he said.

You frowned, hoping his self-hating thoughts weren’t taking over again. He often told you he felt like a burden, a weight on your shoulders that shouldn’t have ever been placed there. But he was wrong. He was the best part of your life, your best friend. He couldn’t have been a burden if he tried.

“I know it’s not, but I want to,” you said, rubbing your thumb softly across his cheekbone.

“How was your night?” Bucky asked, trying to change the subject. You didn’t want to talk about your night. You wanted to help him through his struggle, to help ease his mind and calm him down. To you that may have been talking through the dream and reassuring him it was over, but tonight he just wanted to sweep it under the rug. With a tight-lipped smile, you let it go.

“Nat threw a drink at a guy cause he whistled at her,” you said smugly. The low timbre of Bucky’s chuckle caused a flip in your stomach. Your smile grew as you saw one of his own.

“Sounds like her,” he said.

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Of course, doll.”

Steve’s voice droned on as he went over the mission plan for the 50th time. Bucky was beginning to grow restless, itching to get out of the quinjet and get the job done. He hated his job, hated missions, hated being an avenger. But he couldn’t imagine anything else. Combat was who he was, it was all he knew. This was his life. He had to do some good to make up for the horrors of his past. Besides, this job brought you into his life. It wasn’t all bad. But it didn’t make him hate missions any less.

From the corner of his eye, Bucky watched as you adjusted the straps on your boots. Your fingers danced over the buckles, gentle as always. As gentle as they were the other night, playing with the hairs at the back of his neck. As gentle as they were when you made coffee in the morning before coming to meet him on the roof with your knitting. As gentle as they were when picking avocados and plums at the farmer's market on Saturdays. Always gentle. So gentle.

You caught his gaze, shooting him a smug grin as a pink hue dusted his cheeks, turning away quickly in embarrassment. You could always feel him watching. Always protectively watching over you, from anything that could cause you harm. You did the same for him. No matter what.

“Okay so let’s partner up,” Steve said as the quinjet circled in on its landing spot. You jumped up from your seat, coming up beside Bucky. You could feel his hands fidgeting at his sides, the anxiety and nerves rolling off his shoulders in waves. Quickly, you looped your arm through his, pulling him close to your side. He glanced down at you, giving you a sweet smile as he leaned into your touch.

“Nat, you’re with Barton,” Steve said.

“Obviously,” you chuckled. Nat sent you a chummy smirk before making her way over to her friend.

“Sam, you’ll be with Y/N,” Steve continued. You were confused, looking to Bucky with a puzzled expression. You two were always paired together.

“Wait, Steve what?” You asked.

“Y/N and I are always together,” Bucky said firmly. You could feel his hands fidgeting again. You took his flesh hand in your own, encasing it in your grasp and calming his nerves as best you could.

“I know, guys. But Bucky, with your knee pain I just want to make sure Y/N has the best support, especially since she’s seeing combat today,” Steve started. You glanced down, understanding his decision. But you knew Bucky would take his words the worst way possible. “You’ll be with me shutting down systems and getting the intel today, Buck.”

Bucky’s ears were ringing. He had to be by your side, he had to protect you, just like you did for him. He didn’t care about himself, he went on plenty of missions you weren’t assigned to. He knew you were well trained and could handle yourself, but that did little to dissipate the aching pit in his stomach. He had to be there, just in case. Just like how he needed to wait up for you at night. Just in case, always in case.

“Steve, pl-” Steve didn’t let Bucky finish, assuring him this was the best for the team, the mission, and most importantly you. He was right, deep down Bucky knew that. Steve was right. It didn’t hurt any less.

“Okay, let’s get ready to land!” Steve said.

You felt Bucky’s arm slip from yours as he turned to take a seat at the back of the jet. Your chest ached. You knew him, you knew Bucky. He had this intense urge to protect those he cared about. Steve, Sam, Nat, Wanda- he felt it was his duty to protect others when he could. But you, it was different with you. With you, it was almost primal, instinctive. It was as if he thought it was his life’s purpose to protect you. To keep you close and watch over you. His best friend, his favorite person, the best thing in his life. He had to protect you. To keep you from being ripped away like everything else was.

You sank down beside him, pulling his hand into your lap and tracing over the veins running over the top. You could see the gears turning in his head, his gaze fixated on the floor. You knew he was taking this personally, blaming himself. You hated it.

Bucky felt like he couldn’t breathe. Like the universe was punishing him for his recklessness. Steve was right. He was a liability, a problem. With his bum knee, he’d be no help to you, only a burden. Like always. Maybe if he was better this wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t have disappointed you like always. Always letting you down. Steve was right, Sam would have your back and keep you safe. Something he clearly wasn’t fit for.

“Bucky, sweetie,” you said, trying to talk to him, to help him realize this wasn’t his fault. He wouldn’t listen, jumping from his seat and pulling his hand from your grasp. He tried to hide the grimace on his face from the pain in his leg caused by the sudden movement. But you saw, you always did.

“Okay, let’s go team,” Steve said as the quinjet landed.

Bucky couldn’t focus on the task at hand. Not when he knew you were in combat without him. He couldn’t listen to Steve’s orders, couldn’t download files, couldn’t even think straight. He was on autopilot. He wasn’t in control of his body. His mind was elsewhere, off with you in the field.

“Bucky, I know you’re worried, but she’s fine. Sam’s got her back,” Steve said as he finished downloading his intel.

“I know she is, I’m just-” Bucky started.

“Worried?”

“Yeah.”

Steve came over to his friend, resting a firm hand on his shoulder. He could see the distress on his pal's face a mile away, anyone could. He knew how much Bucky pined for you, how fully in love he was with you. He saw it every day in every way he interacted with you. How he would find any excuse to bring you up in conversation. How he’d always search for you as soon as he entered a room. How he let you hold him gently after a nightmare. He knew his friend was done for.

“Well, not much left to do here. Just gotta wipe the systems and then we can get ‘cha back to your girl,” Steve said with a smirk.

“She’s…she’s not my girl,” Bucky stammered, “she’s just my friend.”

“Okay, pal.”

Steve went back to his work, leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts again. He didn’t like the silence. He was so used to hearing your voice, cracking jokes at the worst time in his ear. The silence of his comms was deafening. Was something wrong? Why hadn’t you said anything? Were you okay? You hadn’t even checked in. No, no you were fine. He was just being paranoid.

“Hey, guys! We’ve got a situation!” Sam’s voice shouted, coming out broken and fuzzy from the other side of the mic.

“What’s going on, Sam?” Steve asked his comm.

“It’s Y/N. She took off, I can’t find her!”

Bucky’s stomach dropped.

“What?” he asked, his hand pressing impossibly hard on his mic.

“She took off chasing this one agent a few minutes ago. I told her not to but she did. I’m in the air now trying to spot her but I can’t find her,” Sam said, dreading the reaction he knew he’d get from his friend.

Bucky was silent. His mind was reeling, spinning off its axis. His chest burned with the weight crushing his lungs as he struggled to get in just one breath. He was erratic, his eyes jumping around the room, trying desperately to think of what to do. Finally, his gaze landed on Steve for just a brief moment. His friend gave him a firm look, one that pleaded for patience and calm. For him to take a moment and assess the situation. To be rational. But he couldn’t. Not when you could be in trouble. Not when his girl could be in trouble.

“Buck, wait-” Steve shouted, but his words fell on deaf ears. Bucky was no longer in that stuffy computer room. No, he was sprinting through the enemy base, tripping on his own feet as he frightfully searched for you.

You didn’t feel pain, not anymore. The burning sensation in your stomach had disappeared a while ago, leaving you numb and tingling. It was as if you were floating, instead of lying in the dirt, covered in your own blood.

The agent was good, got the best of you. Something that had never happened before. Breaking you off from your partner, leaving you vulnerable and too far from help. After slashing at your gut as much as he deemed necessary, he shoved your limp body back, watching as you collapsed hard into the dirt and mud of the earth. He took off as if nothing had happened, tossing his knife beside you as if he were an artist leaving his signature and you, his canvas.

Your whimpers of pain had fizzled out. Your limbs grew heavy in seconds, leaving you unable to ring for help. You heard as Sam called for you, as he rang the team, as he told Bucky you were missing.

Bucky, you couldn’t imagine how scared he was, how frantically he was searching for you. He never wanted to leave you alone. If you died there, if you died like this, would he blame himself?

You were helpless as you heard him call out to you on the comms, his voice growing more desperate and unstable the longer you gave him silence. You wanted to call out to him, to tell him where you were, to beg him to come find you. To save you. But you could hardly breathe.

Your chest grew heavier, the suffocating feeling slowly slipping away as the warm tingling sensation grew. You didn’t want to leave Bucky, not like this. Not with him so far away. Not with him believing there was still time to help you. Not without telling him how you felt. You didn’t want to die, you wanted more time. Time you didn’t seem to have.

Your eyelids slipped, gradually drawing you in. You knew this was in, you had run out of time. So caught up in the peaceful pull of your own body, you barely heard it. Barely, but you did.

“Y/N?”

Bucky.

“Y/N, where are you?” He shouted as he ran. You couldn’t see him, your face pressed down into the ground, covered in soot and grime. You could feel him though, he was close. But would he be too late?

With everything you had, you cried out for him. His name slipped from your lips, the sweetest word you knew. Though it took everything in you, it only fell out as a soft whimper. But it was enough.

“Y/N!” Bucky shouted. A faint smile spread across your face at the sound of his heavy boots pounding against the dirt. The tingling grew as you heard him desperately begging for you to look at him. As his hands gingerly turned you over, drawing you into his arms as carefully as he could. His pleas continued, and as much as you wished you could tell him you were fine, that he found you and everything would be okay, you couldn’t. You hardly felt him lift you into the air, sprinting with your limp body in his arms, as you fell unconscious soon after.

The beeping of the heart monitor next to Bucky was driving him insane. The ticking of the clock above him was going to push him over the edge. It took everything in him not to get up and smash it then and there. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t get up and smash the clock. He couldn’t get up. He couldn’t leave his chair. He couldn’t leave your side.

You lay before him, lifeless wrapped in bandages and white sheets. Your arms and cheeks were bruised, and a split lip to tie it all together. Your stomach was a mess with multiple stab wounds, some dragging across and hitting important organs. When the team got you back and handed you over to Helen, Bucky saw the concern and doubt written across her face. No one thought you’d make it. But you had to. You had to.

The moment he found you kept replaying in his head. The sight of your body, broken and alone lying in blood and dirt, would haunt his dreams for the rest of his life. How heavy you were in his arms. How you hadn’t even flinched when he raced you back to the quinjet, too far gone in your own pain. The team was silent as laid you down on the benches. Had Nat not known some medical training, you wouldn’t have made the short flight back. You would’ve died.

You would’ve been dead.

It would’ve been his fault. That was the only thought running through Bucky’s head as he watched your sleeping body. If you died, if you die, that’s on him. He should’ve fought Steve harder, should’ve insisted he be with you. He never would’ve let you wander off, never would’ve let this happen. He didn’t blame Sam, it wasn’t his fault. It was his own.

Your gentle hands, always so gentle with him, were limp beside him. He couldn’t get himself to hold you like he knew you’d want. You’d want him to take your hand in his, to get as close to you as he could and seek comfort in your presence like always. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t touch you, he couldn’t make it worse. He settled for a seat next to you, watching like he always did.

“Hey man,” Bucky turned to see Sam lingering in the doorway.

“Hey,” he said, turning his attention back to you.

“Cho says she’ll pull through, just gotta wait for her to wake up,” Sam said, resting against the table across from your bed. Bucky took comfort in words, but he wouldn’t be able to breathe easy until he saw your y/e/c again.

“Buck, I’m sorry, man. I should’ve followed her, I should’ve-” Sam began, but Bucky cut him off.

“No, no Sam, it’s not your fault. You had a job to do, there were other agents. This could’ve been both of you,” Bucky said, giving him a firm look. Sam nodded, a sober expression gracing his face. “It’s not your fault Sam, it’s mine.”

“What?”

“It’s my fault. I’m supposed to protect her. That’s my job,” Bucky said, his hands balling into fists on the sheets of your bed.

Sam watched his friend as he fell apart before him. He watched as Bucky fought to keep his tears in, to keep his emotions at bay.

“Buck, don’t do that. You know she wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. She ran off. She wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself,” Sam said, pulling a chair beside him.

“What if she doesn’t wake up?” Bucky asked, a tear finally slipping through.

“Don’t talk like that man, she’s gonna wake up.”

“What if she doesn’t? What do I do then? She’s…she’s my whole world, Sam. She’s my everything. I don’t think I can do this without her.”

Sam paused, floored by Bucky’s words. His heart ached for his friend, his friend who was so in love with the girl before them. So in love, it was consuming him.

After a brief silence, Sam spoke up, “when she wakes up-”

“If she-”

“When she wakes up,” Sam said firmly, “you’re gonna tell her how you feel.”

Bucky’s grip on the sheets loosened as he turned to his friend. Tears were now building up in his eyes, soft sniffles coming out every few seconds.

“You two, you’re something else. I’ve never seen anyone care about someone the way she cares about you. I’ve never seen you like this with anyone else. She loves you, man. Tell her how you feel,” Sam said. With one last smile, he got up. Leaning forward, he took your hand in his, pressing a soft kiss to yours before heading out to update Steve.

It had been three days. For three days Bucky had confined himself to that chair. He was growing hopeless, the little voice in the back of his head telling him you’d left him. That this was his punishment for all he’d done. It was unfair. If the world wanted to punish him, do it, but don’t hurt you.

Helen had told him it could take a week for you to wake given your injuries. She said everything was fine, not to worry, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t keep it together anymore. During the day when the team came and went, coming to check on you, he was stoic. Quiet and aloof as always. When they left, when he sat with you in the dark of the night, he fell apart. He cried on your sheets, pleading for you to come back. Not to leave him alone. He didn’t sleep once in those three days.

On day four, Bucky gave in for a moment. He was weak, he needed to feel you. Needed to know your touch wasn’t as cold and heavy as it was the day he found you. He was weak, pathetic. He promised not to touch you, he couldn’t. He couldn’t forgive himself for what he did, for not being able to shield you the way you did him. But he was selfish, he always was when it came to you.

Gently, he pulled your hand into his own. He fiddled with the red band wrapped around your wrist. Relief washed over him as the warmth that had returned to your body, but not enough for him.

“Y/N, doll, please. Please wake up,” he said, bringing your hand to his lips. He pressed firm kisses across your knuckles. “Please, not for me. I don’t deserve it. But you do. You deserve to be here, love. You deserve to keep living. Please wake up.”

Bucky wasn’t sure what he was expecting. This wasn’t a movie, his life had never been that fortunate. And he didn’t expect you to wake up just because he asked. Defeated, he softly placed your hand back down, sinking back into his seat.

His hand tangled back into the sheets when he felt it. He had to have been dreaming, making it up. The soft-touch of your fingers grazing his. Looking back up, he watched as your hand sought his out, grasping tight when you finally found it. He jumped up, leaning over the bed and placing his other hand on your cheek. His self-control flew out the window, to hell with it. He watched with bated breath as your nose twitched, your brows drawing together. Your legs stretched slightly and your face scrunched before your eyes opened. Bucky’s knees felt weak.

“Why’d you drop my hand?” you asked, giving him a sleepy smile. Bucky couldn’t hold it in anymore.

He fell forward, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck as he wept. Still, he hovered over your body, too afraid to touch you beyond your shoulders. His body shook as he let it all out, desperate to be close to you. You brought your hands up, one cupping the back of his head, the other rubbing soft patterns on his back.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m okay,” you said, shushing him softly. You couldn’t stand that you’d done this to him. You couldn’t imagine how long he’d been beside you.

“I thought… I thought that you… that..” Bucky couldn’t finish, the tremors grew too strong as he continued to cry.

“I know, I know. But I’m okay, I’m here,” you said, trying to calm him down. Gently, you began to pull him down, to have him lie beside you. That was a mistake.

With a sharp breath, Bucky pulled back. Tearing himself from your grasp and backed up from the bed. He nearly tripped over his chair as he stumbled away from you.

“No, no I can’t. Your hurt, you’re… you were… Y/N,” Bucky couldn’t seem to form a full sentence, his mind as jumbled as when he came out of the chair.

“Bucky, I’m okay, I promise,” you said. “Will you sit with me?”

Bucky lingered back by the wall, staring down at his boots.

“Buck, please?”

He gave in. He always gave in to you. God, he was so fucking weak.

He pulled his chair back up to your bed before placing himself back in his spot. He wouldn’t meet your eyes, His hands flinched as you reached to take them into your own, but he didn’t pull away. The deja vu was intense, it was like when you first met him. He was skittish, shy, flinching, and shaking. It was all your fault.

“I’m okay, honey. I’m okay,” you said, swiping your thumb over the back of his hands.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,” he said, still averting your gaze. You were confused, how was this his fault? He wasn’t even there?

“What?”

“I wasn’t there, I should’ve been there.”

oh.

“I should’ve protected you,” he said.

Dropping one of his hands, you reached forward, taking his chin in your hand and turning his gaze up towards you.

“It wasn’t your fault, Buck. I shouldn’t have run off like that. It was stupid,” you said, your hand now caressing his cheek. Your smile grew as you felt his grip on your other hand finally returning.

“I just want to protect you. I just want to keep you safe,” he began to ramble. “I…I... you do so much for me. You came into my life, you helped me so much, you help me every day. You saved me, you slay all my demons and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for that. But I can keep you safe.”

You listened, letting him get what he needed off his chest.

“I care for you so much. You’re… you’re my favorite person in the world. You’re my everything. I just want to protect you. It’s all I can do, it’s all I’m good for. And I couldn’t even do that. I’m so sorry, Y/N,” the tears returned to his eyes, overflowing as he finished.

You gave him a moment as he cried in your grasp. You hated seeing him this way, so upset and distraught. It was a sight you saw too often in the late hours of his room. But this was worse, he was utterly destroyed, the guilt and hurt overflowing.

“Bucky?” you asked.

“Hmm?”

“You’re my best friend in the whole world. You mean so much to me. And you’re worth so much more than what you can do for others. Sweetie, I don’t need you to repay me for caring for you. My love isn’t transactional. It’s unconditional. I’ll be there for you whenever you need me, however you need me. It’s not your fault when bad things happen to me. I love that you want to protect me and you do such a good job. But this wasn’t your fault, and the protection you provide for me is not all your worth, do you get that?”

He was silent at your words, staring forward at you, his tears subsiding.

“I love you so much, for everything and all you are. You’re perfect, James. You treat me perfectly. So please don’t blame yourself because I decided to act like a fucking idiot.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed as you finished. Your hand continued to brush against his cheek, caressing his jawline.

“You love me?” he asked, leaning closer.

“I do,” you said.

You watched as his eyes bounced from your eyes to lips, frantically searching for your permission. With a soft giggle and nod from you, he closed the gap between you, pulling you as close as he would allow with you still in the bed.

His lips tasted of salt from the days of tears spilling over his cheeks, but you paid it no mind. He was so gentle with you but firm. Pressing his lips to yours, desperate to feel you in a way he had wanted to for so long. When he finally pulled back, you chuckled before pressing a chaste kiss to his forehead. He rested beside you, leaning onto the bed slightly and brushing his hand across your cheek.

“I love you so fucking much, doll,” he said.

“I love you too, Buck,” you said.

“Now that that’s over with, let’s talk about you being a ‘fucking idiot’ in the field,” he said, leaning closer in as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips.

—

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #fanfiction #fanfic #marvel #tfatws

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