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rigmarolling · 5 years

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Historical Holiday Traditions We Really Need To Bring Back

Here comes Santa Claus, and also a bunch of annual holiday Things we do to ensure he commits a truly boggling act of breaking and entering and leaves goods underneath the large plant in the living room.

Because I’ve always got a hankerin’ for the days of yore, here are some historical holiday traditions we really need to bring back:

1. Everything that happened on Saturnalia

Saturnalia was the ancient Roman winter festival held on December 25th--which is why we celebrate Christmas on that day and not on the day historians speculate Jesus was actually born, which was probably in the spring.

Saturnalia was bonkers. As the name suggests, it celebrated the god Saturn, who represented wealth and liberty and generally having a great time.

Above: Their party is way cooler than yours could ever hope to be.

During Saturnalia, masters would serve their slaves, because it was the one day during the year when everybody agreed that freedom for all is great, actually, let’s just do that. Everyone wore a coned hat called the pilleus to denote that they were all bros and equal, and also to disguise the fact that they hadn’t brushed their hair after partying hard all week, probably.

Gambling was allowed on Saturnalia, so all of Rome basically turned into ancient Vegas, complete with Caesar’s Palace, except with the actual Caesar and his palace because he was, you know. Alive.

The most famous part (besides getting drunk off your rocker) was gift-giving--usually gag gifts. Historians have records of people giving each other some truly impressive white elephant gifts for Saturnalia, including: a parrot, balls, toothpicks, a pig, one single sausage, spoons, and deliberately awful books of poetry.

Above: Me, except all the time.

Partygoers also crowned a King of Saturnalia, which was a predecessor to the King of Fools popular in medieval festivals. The king was basically the head idiot who delivered absurd commands to everyone there, like, “Sing naked!” or “run around screaming for an hour,” or “slap your butt cheeks real hard in front of your crush; DO IT, Brutus.”

Oh, wait. Everyone was already doing all that. Hell yes.

(Quick clarification: early celebrations of Saturnalia did feature human sacrifice, so let’s just leave that bit out and instead wear the pointy hats and sing naked, okay? Io Saturnalia, everybody.)

2. Leaving out treats for Sleipnir in the hopes of avoiding Odin’s complete disregard for your property

The whole “leave out cookies and milk for Santa” thing comes from a much older tradition of trying to appease old guys with white beards. In Norse mythology, Odin, who was sort of the head god but preferred to be on a perpetual road trip instead, took an annual nighttime ride through the winter sky called the Wild Hunt.

Above: The holidays, now with 300% more heavy metal.

Variations of the Wild Hunt story exist in a bunch of European folklore--in Odin’s case, he usually brought along a bunch of supernatural buddies, like spirits and other gods and Valkyries and ghost dogs, who, the Vikings said, you could hear howling and barking as the group approached (GOOD DOGGOS).

That was the thing, though; you never actually saw Odin’s hunt--you only heard it. And hearing it did not spark the same sense of childish glee you felt when you thought you heard Santa’s sleigh bells approaching as a kid--instead, the Vikings said, you should be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

Because Odin could be kind of a dick.

Odin was also known as the Allfather, and like any father, he hated asking for directions. GPS who? I’m the Allfather, I’m riding the same way I always ride.

And that was pretty much it: “I took this road last year and I’m taking it again this year.”

“But,” someone would pipe up from the back, “there are houses on the road now--we’re gonna run right into them. We could just take a different path; there’s actually a detour off the--”

“Nope,” Odin would say. “They know the rules. My road, my hunt, my rules. We’re going this way.”

So if you were unlucky enough to have built your house along one of Odin’s favorite road trip sky-ways, he wouldn’t just plow right past you.

He would burn your entire house down--and your family along with it.

Kids playing in the yard? Torch ‘em; they should have known better. Grandma knitting while she waits for her gingerbread Einherjar to finish baking? Sucks to be her; my road, my rules, my beard, I’m the Allfather, bitch.

Above: Santa, but so much worse.

To be fair to Odin, he could be a cool guy sometimes. He just turned into any dad when he was on a road trip and wanted to MAKE GOOD TIME, DAMN IT, I AM NOT STOPPING; YOU SHOULD HAVE PEED BEFORE WE LEFT.

To ensure they didn’t incur Odin’s road trip wrath, the Vikings had a few ways of smoothing things over with Dad.

They would leave Odin offerings on the road, like pieces of steel (??? okay ???) or bread for his dogs, or food for his giant, eight-legged horse, Sleipnir, because the only true way to a man’s heart is through his pet.

People would generally leave veggies and oats and other horse-y things out for Sleipnir, whose eight legs made him the fastest flying horse in the world and also made him the only horse to ever win Asgard’s coveted tap dancing championship.

(Side note: EIGHT legs...EIGHT tiny reindeer...eh? Eh? See how we got here? Thanks, nightmare horse!)

Above: An excellent prancer AND dancer.

And if Odin was feeling particularly charitable and not in the mood for horrific acts of arson, children would also leave their shoes out for him--it was said that he’d put gifts in your boots to ring in a happy new year.

If all that didn’t work and the Vikings heard the hunt approaching, they would resort to throwing themselves on the ground and covering their heads while the massive party sped above them like a giant Halloween rager.

So this holiday season, leave your boots out for Odin and some carrots out for his giant spider horse or you and your entire family will die in a fiery inferno, the end.

3. Yule Logs

Speaking of Scandinavia, another Northern European winter solstice tradition was the yule log. Today, if you google “yule log,” something like this will pop up:

...which isn’t an actual log, but is instead log-shaped food that you shove into your mouth along with 500 other cakes at the same time because it’s CHRISTMAS, and I’m having ME TIME; so WHAT if I ate the whole jar of Nutella by myself, alone, in the dark at 3 am?

But that log cake is actually inspired by actual logs of yore that Celtic, Germanic, and Scandinavian peoples decorated with fragrant plants like holly, ivy, pinecones, and other Stuff That Smells Nice before tossing the log into the fire.

This served a few purposes:

It smelled nice, and Bath and Body Works scented candles hadn’t been invented yet.

It had religious and/or spiritual significance as a way to mark the winter solstice.

It was a symbolic way of ringing in the new year and kicking out the old.

Common belief held that the ashes of a yule log could ward off lightning strikes and bad energy.

Winter cold. Fire warm.

Everybody loves to watch things burn. (See: Odin.)

The yule log cakes we eat today got their start in 19th century Paris, when bakers thought it was a cute idea to resurrect an ancient pagan tradition in the form of a delicious dessert, and boy, howdy, were they right.

In any case, I’m 100% down with eating a chocolate yule log while burning an actual yule log in my backyard because everybody loves to watch things burn; winter cold, fire warm; and hnnnngggg pine tree smell hnnnnggg.

(Quick note: The word “yule” is the name of a traditional pagan winter festival, still celebrated culturally or religiously in modern pagan practice. It’s also another name for Odin. He had a bunch of other names, one of the most well-known being jólfaðr, which is Old Norse for “Yule father.” If you would like to royally piss him off, or if you are Loki, feel free to call him “Yule Daddy.”)

4. Upside down Christmas trees

I just found out that apparently, upside down Christmas trees are a hot new trend with HGTV types this year, so I guess this is one historical trend we did bring back, meaning it doesn’t really belong on this list, but I’m gonna talk about it, anyway.

Side note: Oh, my god, that BANNISTER. I NEED.

Historians aren’t actually sure where the inverted Christmas tree thing came from, but we know people were bringing home trees and then hanging them upside down in the living room as early as the 7th century. We have a couple theories as to why people turned trees on their heads:

Logistically, it’s way easier to hang a giant pine tree from your rafters upside down by its trunk and roots. You just hoist that baby up there, wind some rope around the rafter and the trunk, and boom. Start decorating.

A Christian tradition says that one day in the 7th century, a Benedictine monk named Saint Boniface stumbled across a group of pagans worshipping an oak tree. So, instead of minding his own damn business, he cut the tree down and replaced it with a fir tree. While the pagans were like, “Dude, what the hell?” Boniface used the triangular shape of the fir tree to explain the concept of the holy trinity to the pagans. Some versions have him planting it right-side up, others having him displaying a fir tree upside down. Either way, it’s still a triangle that’s a solid but ultimately very rude way of explaining God. Word’s still out on whether anyone was converted or just rightly pissed off that this random guy strolled into their place of worship, chopped down their sacred tree, and plopped HIS tree down instead. Please do not do that this holiday season.

Eastern Europeans lay claim to the upside-down tree phenomenon with a tradition called podłazniczek in Poland--people hung the tree from the ceiling and decorated it with fruits and nuts and seeds and ribbons and other festive doodads.

(God, who lives in these houses? Look at that. That’s like a swanky version of Gaston’s hunting lodge. Where do I get one? Which enchanted castle do I have to stumble into to chill out in a Christmas living room like that?)

Today, at least in the West, upside-down trees are making a comeback because...I don’t know. Chip and Joanna Gaines said so.

Some folks say it’s a surefire way to keep your cats from clawing their way through the tree and then puking up fir needles for weeks afterward, which checks out for me.

5. Incredibly weird Victorian Christmas cards

So back in the 19th century, the Christmas card industry was really getting fired up. Victorians loved their mail, let me tell you. They loved sending it. They loved getting it. They loved writing it. They loved opening it. They loved those sexy wax seals you use to keep all that sweet, sweet mail inside that sizzling envelope. (Those things are incredibly sexy. Have you ever made a wax seal? Oh, man, it’s hot.)

The problem, though, was that while the Victorians arguably helped standardize many of the holiday traditions we know and love today (Christmas trees, caroling, Dickens everything, spending too much money, etc.) back in 1800-whenever, a lot of that Christmas symbolism was, um...still under construction. No one had really agreed on which visual holiday cues worked and which...didn’t.

Meaning everyone just kind of made up their own holiday symbols. Which resulted in monstrous aberrations like this card:

What the hell is that? A beet? Is that a beet? Or a turnip? Why is it...oh, God, why does it have a man’s head? Why does the man beet have insect claws?

What is it that he’s holding? A cookie? Cardboard? A terra cotta planter?

And then there’s this one:

“A Merry Christmas to you,” it says, while depicting a brutal frog murder/mugging.

What are you trying to tell me? Are you threatening me with this card? Is that it? Is this a threat? How the hell am I supposed to interpret this? “Merry Christmas, hide your money or you’re dead, you stupid bitch.”

Also, why is the dead frog naked? Did the other frog steal his clothes after the murder? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS?

Victorian holiday cards also doubled as early absurdist Internet memes, apparently, because how else do I explain this?

Is this some sort of tiny animal Santa? A mouse riding a lobster? Like, the mouse, I get. Mice are fine. Disney built an empire on a mouse. And look, he’s got a little list of things he’s presumably going to bring you: Peace, joy, health, happiness. (In French. Oh, wait, is that that Patton Oswalt rat?)

But a LOBSTER? What’s with the lobster? It’s basically a sea scorpion. Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you saddle up a LOBSTER? I hate it. I hate it so, so much. Just scurrying around the floor with more legs than are strictly necessary, smelling like the seafood section of Smith’s, snapping its giant claws.

This whole card is a health inspector’s worst nightmare. It really is.

I gotta say, though, I am a fan of this one:

Presumably, that polar bear is going in for a hug because nothing stamps out a polar bear’s innate desire to rip your face from your skull than candy canes and Coke and Christmas spirit.

This next one is actually fantastic, but for all the wrong reasons:

I know everyone overuses “same” these days but geez, LOOK at that kid. I can HEAR it. SAME.

If you’ve ever been in a shopping mall stuffed with kids, nothing sums it up better than this card. This is like the perverse version of those Anne Geddes portraits that were everywhere in the late 90s. “Make wee Jacob sit in the tea pot; everyone will--Jacob, STOP, look at Mommy; I said LOOK. AT. MOMMY--everyone will love it.”

Actually, you know what? Every other Christmas card is cancelled. This is the only card we will be using from now on. This is it.

Wait, no. We can also use this one:

Merry Christmas. Here’s a fuckin’...just a dead fuckin’ bird.

#victorian #listory #christmas #holidays #mythtory #norse mythology #odin

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drangues · 4 years

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Yeah, mental disorders and stuff along those lines has ways been a special interest of mine??? So when I find a new possibility, I get super excited! And when I get to share the idea with someone, and if they like that idea, I get even more excited!!! Because I’m a nerd, haha. And, to be honest, I’m tempted to say that it’s named something like Chirimen, which is Japanese for crepe, I believe? Since Kyouka wanted to help. (Nyanon, 1/6)

I don’t know, I just want the dog to adore Kyouka almost as much as it adores Atsushi, let me liiive. And man oh man I’m SUCH a sucker for that “I hate you and you hate me but we both love this guy, let’s suck it up, I guess” trope, so I had to suggest it!!! But also that’s Absolutely something Dazai would do, but it’d make Atsushi sad that he picked on his doggo so he has to apologize or something,,, I’m sorry I’m getting to into this I just. Love them. And! (Nyanon, 2/6)

As for Feral Stray, I’m kinda,,, Torn? On how he meets the ADA, because on the one hand, they could definitely hear about like. A cryptid or something? And normally they wouldn’t investigate but Fukuzawa hears that it looks like a cat One time and suddenly they Have To. On the other hand, I’m a sucker for the idea that he helps Kenji out once, and, being Kenji, he proceeds to follow him to wherever he’s staying underground to give him food, so Atsushi slowly starts trusting him? (Nyanon, 3/6)

And then Atsushi gets badly hurt for some reason so Kenji just kinda yoinks Yosano and drags her to help his Weird Friend. Either way I think first meetings would be Tough because, while Atsushi would still be a sweetheart, he’s gone, like, half feral now and also his main experience with humans is,, Not Good? So he’s, like, not hurting them, but also the animals of Yokohama can sense that’s he’s worked up, so the ADA has to run a bit of a gauntlet to get to him. (Nyanon, 4/6)

And I’m also torn on whether or not Dazai could turn him fully human again, physically speaking- His mind could definitely recover over time, but. Like, on the one hand, I’m just in love with Atsushi’s hybrid form, and maybe his body has forgotten how to properly Human after so long? On the other hand, Atsushi being turned back and suddenly having to relearn how to live is the exact sort of fluffy potential I can get behind. (Nyanon, 5/6)

Anyways, I rambled a bit there, so I’ll talk about another Nyatsushi Concept: Sometimes, when he isn’t thinking about it, Atsushi will attack long articles of clothing in play- The most frequent victims are, of course, his own belt and Dazai’s trench coat, but Kyouka and Fukuzawa have also stumbled a bit because Atsushi pounced on their clothing when he wasn’t thinking. (Nyanon, 6/6)

dude dude sA M E i also love the “I hate you and you hate me but we both love this guy, let’s suck it up, I guess” trope like it’s genuienly so good, also cherime sounds really cute uwuwu!! and Y E S chirimen will be Whipped for kyouka as well i dont make the rules

OHHH I REALLY LOVE THE IDEA OF ATSUSHI FORGETTING TO HUMAN PROPERLY UWUWU byakko would probably curse at dazai cus atsushi has regained full sense but omg pls,,,,it would be like little mermaid no?? how ariel kinda stumbles as she walks, is excited about almost everything, very clueless, i can kinda see how atsushi would also have forgotten some basic communication skills owo?? this makes me wanna look into real life cases where humans have been raised by animals in the wild and then “rescued” and see how they like, integrated into society again, that could be some good research if you ever decide to write it!!!

i can just imagine the cute fluff that would follow with atsushi doing normal stuff and solving crime and whatnot UWUWU

and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SHUT UP THATS SO CUTEEEE ATSUSHI POUNCING ON LONG CLOTHINGGG ESPECIALLY HIS OWN BELT AND DAZAIS COAATTT i find it extra cute tbh with fukuzawa like hes so stoic so i imagine him just melting at the sight of atsushi and him having such cat like behaviours ugh gIVE ME MORE FUKUZAWA + ATSUSHI CONTENT (in a platonic parental way)

#anon #ask #ask anon #anon ask #bsd #nyanon #nyatsushi anon

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maluminspace · 5 years

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Jealous Babies

Genre: Fluff

Pairings: Michael Clifford/Reader

Word Count: 800+

Requested: by anon x2 for Mikemonth

I’m so excited for MICHAEL MONTH!! Can you do getting a new pet?

AAA getting a pet with Michael and like its little kitty and she loves you lots and mikey and the doggos get jealous and keep pining for your attention

Trigger Warnings: n/a

A/N: Michael and pets is the cutest concept. Thank you @h0tsos for coming up with the name of the little cutie when I failed miserably.

...

“You could help with this, you know.” You retort, barely keeping the level of annoyance in your voice to an acceptable level “She’s your kitten too, Clifford! Why am I the only one filling the litter tray and laying out the food bowls and setting up the scratch posts?”

It does absolutely nothing to ease your mood when you receive no answer at all from your boyfriend. Huffing indignantly, you head out of the kitchen into the living room. You find Michael crouched on the floor, making quiet little cooing noises at the tiny kitten that’s currently hiding behind the sofa.

Even though you’re greatly irritated by your boyfriend’s lack of help, it’s hard to stay mad at him when he looks so adorable. “You have to let her adjust to her surroundings, babe.” You sigh, “can you please go and fill up her water bowl now?”

Michael pouts, obviously disappointed by the lack of kitten cuddles he’s had so far. “Why won’t she let me love her?” He asks, his tone far too dejected for the situation.

“She will do, baby.” You smile, helping Michael to his feet. “She’s just a baby and this is all brand new to her. Give her a couple of days and she’ll be all over you, I promise.”

The blonde man whines impatiently. “ A couple of days? I want to cuddle her now…”

You roll your eyes, wondering how you ever ended up with such a manchild. “Just go and fill up her water bowl, and go play with the dogs for a bit. They’re always up for cuddles.”

Michael brightens up a little at the suggestion of dog cuddles, but he still gives the back of the sofa a felorn glance over his shoulder as he makes his way out of the room. “C’mon Southy, Moosemoose.” He says, summoning the two dogs from their fluffy bed in the corner. They follow Michael immediately, ears perked up hopefully, like they’re expecting a treat or to be taken for a walk. Knowing how soft your boyfriend is for all of your animals, it’s not hard to suspect that he probably will end up sneaking them a treat.

After a moment you hear the back door open and close, signalling that Michael and the dogs have gone into the garden. You take the opportunity to relax for a while, having spent all morning preparing the house for the newest little member of your family.

You sit down on the sofa, curling up comfortably before flicking on the TV. Before you’ve even decided what to watch you notice movement out of the corner of your eye. “Ochaco.” You smile softly at the tiny kitten as she cautiously waddles towards you. “I told your silly daddy that you’d come out to explore if he left you alone for a while.”

Ochaco mews softly, staring up at you as though she wants to join you on the sofa. You lean down to pick her up gently before placing her on your lap. To your utter surprise, the tiny cat curls up, purring softly. Stroking her fluffy brown fur, you talk quietly to her until she falls asleep.

The slumbering cat doesn’t even stir when Michael and the dogs return to the living room, clattering across the wooden floors loudly. Moose and South both prance towards you, expecting to cuddle up with you on the sofa like they usually do. Both dogs stop in their tracks when they notice the little bundle of fur in your lap and they cock their heads inquisitively.

Michael gasps happily when he notices that Ochaco has finally ventured out from her hiding place. “You got her to come out!” He exclaims, padding over to sit next to you.

“Don’t disturb her.” You order sternly, “you can have kitten cuddles when she wakes up.”

Michael huffs, his happy expression dropping to into a disgruntled one. He flops down in the seat beside you and strokes Ochaco gently with one finger. “She’s too cute, I want snuggles!”

It seems that Michael isn’t the only one jealous that you have a new little companion. Both South and Moose, leap up onto the sofa, trying to huddle between you and Michael like they’re battling for your attention.

You giggle and scratch each of them behind the ear before intertwining your fingers with Michael’s. “I love all of my jealous babies.” You sigh, resting your head on your boyfriend’s shoulder.

“Well, can you blame us?” Michael asks, “you always give the best cuddles”

Tag list: @clffrd @byxthexway @afuckingunicornn @painkillerash @thrillchaser @moonchildsblack @calumbbyyy @h0tsos @valentinelrh @sexgodashton @megz1985 @myfalsedevotion @aulxna @honeyedlashton @tea4sykes @ghostofmashton @fairyintheglass @cashworthy @cashtonasfuck @opheliaaurora23 @5sosnsfw @theagenderwhocriedwolf

#michael clifford #michael clifford fluff #michael clifford imagine #michael clifford blurb #michael clifford fic #5sos #5sos fluff #5sos imagine #5sos blurb #5sos fic #michael fluff #michael imagine #michael blurb #michael fic #soft!michael #my writing #mikemonth

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eye-of-enigmatic-thought · 5 years

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Ben 10 Alien Design reviews! – Wildmutt

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Our second review will be the goodest boy, Wildmutt!

Wildmutt’s in-universe species are called Vulpimancers, which come from a planet that is so in total darkness, they haven’t even evolved eyes! So they have to make do with their enhanced sense of smell and hearing that gives them 3D mapping over their surroundings! And the best bit? Their gill-like markings on their neck are actually what give them their sonar and they’re also canonically their nostrils (and I think it’s implied they can even hear from them as well!). That’s REALLY cool and fascinating! Though, I gotta wonder, considering how Wildmutt’s nostrils only spread from the sides to the below of his neck, he probably doesn’t have as acute vision from head-on? It may not matter much due to how enhanced his sense of smell and hearing is, but it does bug me a little even if I really like the look of his blank face!

Also now that I think about it, if Vulpimancers are from a world so dark they have no light vision, what would be the need for their orangish fur? If it’s for camouflage, wouldn’t everything be in blackening darkness anyway? It would make more sense for me if his fur was more around on black or grey pigments; otherwise you just have some good boys with flashy coloured fur that they can’t show off to anyone due to not even having concept of colours! :(

Vulpimancers are very beastly and feral aliens, yet despite this they are actually a sapient species that even have their own languages comprised of complex growls and roars, however this language is almost impossible to translate and their vocal chords can’t emulate most other languages, the poor woofers are misunderstood!

Another neat design detail on Wildmutt is that from at first glance and the name you’d think he’s a canine based alien, but he also has some other mammalian animal traits! For example, he has ape-like traits in his posture and large arms, and he has porcupine-like traits with his various ‘quills’ around his body. Said quills can also be used as projectile weapons (though Wildmutt can’t do this due to how young he is) and they even supplement his sonar!

Generally speaking, I really like how despite Wildmutt being a more mammalian alien monster, they still had fun with his design and not make him look like a generic cool mammal that happened to be from space or whatever. To me he actually looks alien, and an alien that’s whilst evolved similarly to some Earth mammals, has clearly evolved its own unique traits from its alien environment at that! He probably is one of my favourites for how actually strange his appearance is the more you look at it.

Also, that underbite is adorable.

Wildmutt’s design in Ultimate Alien is ultimately the same aside from some VERY slight colouring and proportion changes. His upper arms and legs are now skinnier and a bit TOO skinny for a quadruped beast with super strength if you ask me. His black lips are now the same colour as his fur and I apologise if this comes across as nitpicky, but it uh... kinda bugs me, here it implies that Wildmutt’s lips are also covered in fur which is... eesh that doesn’t sound comfortable. Yes I know it sounds dumb, but like... have you seen a dog’s mouth and lips? There’s a reason why fluffy animals have a bit of skin showing around the mouth area, it’s so they won’t get any nasty stuff stuck on their lips and more easily eat food! I can’t really see it as being both the skin and fur being the same colour either due to fur and skin always being differently coloured with different pigments for each, and ‘sides, it’s good to have some colour variety in your critter!

Omniverse’s Wildmutt is again the same but has regained the black lips and is a bit more simplified to accommodate with Omniverse’s style, he also has a slightly more pronounced chin, and whilst I like the more flatter look of the previous designs better, it does more accentuate Wildmutt’s bite force and I think they make him look cute! His omnitrix symbol is also now a full on dog collar that also just makes him look more cute, you almost just wanna give him a pat to the head! But why wouldn’t you have wanted to in the first place!?

I don’t really have much to say about this one other than I think it’s the cutest of all the other incarnations, though the proportional criticisms I had for the UA design also applies with this one as well.

Overall I definitely like his design from the original series best. Wildmutt’s design I feel could use some improvement biology-wise but that’s really just me and it doesn’t matter so much for a cartoon alien dog, and it helps he has some really cool concepts going for him that are shown neatly in his design. Wildmutt isn’t my favourite design (I dunno if I really even HAVE one due to how much I like almost all of them) but I really like him and I feel he’s one of the more underrated aliens, but then again that’s pretty much the same for any of the more monstrous and non humanoid ones, he doesn’t even have a reboot counterpart! Gdi Man Of Action please give the doggo some love!

Intro

previous/archive/next

#Scarfasaurus Reviews #ben 10 #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse #wildmutt #vulpimancer #creature design reviews

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mahalzevran · 6 years

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DA 20+ Questions

Tagged by @antivan-surana thanks! Tagging @situationnormal @the-dread-doggo @acepavus @aroundofgwent @lakambaeni @kxnways @fuckbioware (no pressure ofc) and anyone who wants to?

The rest is under a read more because it’s long

01) Favourite game of the series?

Origins, only because you got less and less op as a mage as the games went on. I love all the games tbh.

02) How did you discover Dragon Age?

My friend got my sister into it. They kept talking and talking about it so finally I was like “ok lets see what the big deal is” and here I am now

03) How many times you’ve played the games?

I’ve done Origins twice fully, DA2 four times fully (omg I didn’t realize this until now lol) and DA:I just once fully. I have one unfinished playthrough of Origins with a Cousland, and I’m in the middle of maybe two of DA:I. I think I’ve gone back and replayed certain parts of both Origins and DA:I plenty of times.

04) Favourite race to play as?

Elf I guess? Though I’ve only fully played as a human and elf. I’m in the middle of a dwarf playthrough and I’m thinking of doing a qunari one in the future. It might change idk.

I just really liked playing as an elf in Origins so that’s why I got into elves. But the funny thing is, I wasn’t even thinking of playing as an elf when I played for the first time. I wanted to play as a human. I just did it on a whim.

05) Favourite class?

Mage, hands down. Realistically, they’re the most versatile class. They can do range and melee since anyone can learn how to fight with weapons. But the last two games won’t let you so :)

Also, this stems from the fact that I’ve been a harry potter fan since I could remember.

06) Do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

In my full, proper playthroughs that I’ve finished, it’s slightly different but still the same basic ideas. Sided with mages, agreed with Anders, etc.

But I am planning to try an evil playthrough in the future so

07) Go-to adventuring group?

DA:O (I have two)

Leliana, Wynne, Shale - the OG crew; they were my main crew in my first playthrough and it was a pretty even party

Zevran, Leliana, Alistair - the elf crew; esp. with Rhian they’re all elves because I saw a theory that Leliana is half elf and I’m down

DA2

It’s a mixed bag. If I’m not playing as a mage, I usually take Anders a lot because we need a healer and Merrill can’t heal. I tend not to take Sebastian as much after I max his friendship. After Sebastian, I take Aveline the least. Other than that I just mix it up. Unless I’m romancing someone, then I take them every time.

I’d love to take Anders, Fenris, and Merrill out more often but I hate how mean they all are to each other (looking @ u bioware 👀)

DA:I

My first playthrough, I mixed it up a lot in the beginning but then I ended up bringing Solas, Cole, and Blackwall a lot near the end for some reason?

I love taking Vivienne, Dorian, and Solas out, especially if I’m playing a mage, because it’s such a pretty fireworks show

In general though, if I’m romancing someone I take them with me almost always.

08) Which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

I think it’s a tie between Rhian and Lu.

09) Favourite romance?

To no one’s surprise, it’s Zevran :3

Solas is second because I just really like that angst.

10) Have you read any of the comics/books?

I’ve read The Silent Grove, Those Who Speak, and Until We Speak (because someone gifted me the Omnibus) and The Calling.

I also have Hard in Hightown, which I should probably read lol, and the art book of inquisition.

11) If you read them, which was your favourite book?

The Calling solely because of my mom Fiona and my dad Duncan.

12) Favourite DLCs?

Awakening because I love everyone and its also really funny that Rhian, who is 19 at that point, had to basically babysit people older than her and also run a whole arling.

I love both Legacy and Mark of the Assassin. Mark of the Assassin was really funny (though I hated the stealth part). I love Legacy specifically because when I was fighting Corypheus, both Varric and Anders K.O.’d and it was just me and Carver. It was a special family moment bringing down a whole entire magister together. I also hc that that was canon and it brought Kaia and Carver closer together.

13) Things that annoy you.

I’m gonna talk about the game bc if this is about the fandom, then that’s a whole other thing.

Anders’ writing for one. It doesn’t make sense that he’d approve of giving Fenris back to Danarius. And also that he wouldn’t tell f!Hawke that he’s bi? Then there’s the fact that Anders, Fenris, and Merrill all don’t get along when they have a lot in common.

Anything that was written by Lukas Krisdkjsdhkdk. Aveline, Sera, etc. he did a really bad job.

Also didn’t like that mages got less OP in the last two games.

There’s also the tone-deafness? Dorian, a brown man, saying slavery is ok. And also there’s the dialogue between Solas and Vivienne where Solas supposedly “owns” Vivienne. I think he says something like “may you learn”? Solas, a white person, saying this to Vivienne, a black woman, when there’s obvious colorism in Thedas? I think not.

There’s probably other but I can’t think of them right now.

14) Orlais or Ferelden?

Orlais is too snooty and Ferelden doesn’t season their food. I pick Seheron and Laysh because that’s where the Asians are at.

15) Templars or mages?

Mages

16) If you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

Originally, my canonverse was Rhian, Kaia, and Luwalhati. Alden and Bolin were part of an AU. Then Alden finagled his way in there, then I decided to have Bolin in there too. So now i have twin Hawkes and Bolin is part of the Inquisition (if he’s a companion or not, I haven’t thought about)

I have plenty of other OCs that I’m planning on, but they’re currently sorted into a different universe.

17) What did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

Pikamon for the Origins mabari. It’s a mix between the names of my two dogs, Pikachu and Cinnamon

Cinnachu for the DA2 mabari, also a mix of Pikachu and Cinnamon.

Lu’s mount is the royal sixteen (hart), which is given to you by Clan Lavellan if you manage to keep them alive iirc, and its name is Luntian, the tagalog word for green which is her favorite color. (In a teen!Lu AU, her mount is the bog unicorn bc she’s an edgelord)

18) Have you installed any mods?

It would be more surprising if I didn’t. How else would I manage to have my characters look like the’re poc?? And also get rid of whitewashing and have some continuity. I usually just do cosmetic mods if it’s my first playthrough. Then I do like “cheats” after I finish the game fully.

Fun fact, I once spent like 2+ hrs modding Origins to have the Zev romance the way I want. I also stayed up until like 5am trying to make Solas look like his concept art lol (it didn’t really work)

19) Did your Warden want to become a Grey Warden?

Rhian didn’t not want to become a warden. She read about them and thought they were an honorable order, but she didn’t expect to ever have a chance to become one. Her goal was to just go up in the Circle hierarchy, maybe even become First Enchanter. Then when the time came, she didn’t really have much of a choice.

20) Hawke’s personality?

Kaia is blue and Alden is purple

21) Did you make matching armor for your companions in Inquisition?

At first, I didn’t get what the big deal was with crafting. It didn’t seem fun at all lol. Then I tried it and was hooked. I don’t have them matching, but I do tend to try to match my Inquisitor with their LI in some way.

My usual procedure for armor in Inquisition is like this. I make everyone wear heavy armor and pick the materials that have the highest attributes, not caring how ridiculous the colors are. Then I go to tint them using a guide for each companion’s color scheme. This is the same for helmet but I usually have them turned off or have no one wearing one.

The only exception is Varric, Cole, and Blackwall. I have Varric wear the rogue armor that looks like his DA2 outfit, and Cole and Blackwall wear the Grey Warden heavy armor. I tint the grey warden armor using a guide for its color scheme.

I have Bull, Vivienne, and Cole wear their unique helmets.

22) If your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

Rhian - She’d probably want to re-do how she told Zevran that she wasn’t exactly dead.

Kaia - Taken Quentin’s threat more seriously and killed him before he got to Leandra

Alden - He has no regrets

Luwalhati - wouldn’t have taken Sam and Wis with her so they wouldn’t have had to have died in the conclave explosion

Bolin - None, all of his decisions led him to Dorian and he’s happy with that.

23) Do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

They’re all at least part Seheron?

I also hc that neither Carver nor Bethany die because Kaia was able to cast a barrier on both of them before the ogre got them. Then they both became Grey Wardens because Carver contracted the taint in the expedition and wouldn’t join the Wardens unless Bethany came with him too.

Another hc I have is that Sebastian didn’t leave when Anders was spared and stayed to help out. But he went his separate way after because he still didn’t approve of sparing him.

Oh shoot, I almost forgot. The most against canon thing I’ve done probably? Rhian didn’t do the Ritual but she did slay the archdemon without dying. Rhian’s an arcane warrior, so when she slayed it, she was partway in the fade. Being partway into the fade was enough for her essence, I guess, to survive it. But she’s not mortal anymore and kind of a spirit now? So she periodically has to chill in the fade because being in the real world takes a toll on her.

25) Who did you leave in the Fade?

In the game, it was Stroud. I killed Loghain and no way is Alistair gonna be trapped in there. Fiona will be sad. So I made Alistair king in the game only, so Stroud was the one that was left.

This is another off canon thing I did. In my actual canon, Alistair is the warden contact. The Hawke that comes to the Inquisition is both Kaia and Alden. Alden brings Fenris with him because he doesn’t go anywhere without his Boo-Boo. Bethany and Carver also come because Weisshaupt was being weird and it seemed like they would be safer in the Inquisition. Lu + her party, Alistair, Kaia, Alden, Fenris, Bethany, and Carver all come to Adamant. Because there’s so many people, everyone was able to escape the Fade. No one is left behind.

26) Favourite mount? The nugs! All of them :)

Though I don’t really use the mounts lol

#tag meme #whew this was really long omg #thanks for tagging though!#about me

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dltbzrkcr · 6 years

Note

nyan blossom & butch for that one mememememem

Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

Our love is like running through a burning building.

General:

How long will they last? - It starts off rocky, both are lacking in trust in one another but when they get their heads out of their asses, they are rock-solid for pretty much, ever.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Slowly, Blossom being a hopeless romantic falls first without intending to. Butch’s care-free personality is refreshingly different from her “rules first” life-style and being dragged into his antics and shown how to live her life a little less restrained causes her to fall for him. He’s the invitation to a fresh start for her. On the other hand, Butch sees hanging out with Blossom as just another day in his life. It isn’t till he inevitably messes everything up that he realizes just how much Blossom means to him. It’s possible he may have been in love with her from the start without ever acknowledging it because he doesn’t understand the concept of his own emotions. He just ends up finding her fun to hang out with, because she is so afraid to jump so ‘head first’ into anything, that he can’t help but find interest in encouraging her to do so.

How was their first kiss? - Awkward, intentional, but awkward. Only the first one, probably initiated by Blossom in order to get him to stop teasing her about how she ‘isn’t ballsy enough to kiss him’. After that he would definitely return the kiss and it would get heated and passionate real quick. Blossom would be the one to break the kiss as it all becomes too much for her to handle at once, and Butch would definitely be back to teasing her about that fact.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Butch with a ringpop. ITS YOUR JUICY JEWEL OF FLAVOR~~ RING POP

Who is the best man/men? - Yu

Who is the bride’s maid(s)Blossom says its person not maid? - Bubbles & Buttercup

Who did the most planning? - Blossom

Who stressed the most? - Blossom. It’s Blossom. How is she not going to be fucking stressed.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | They just walked into the courthouse and got hitched. | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Brick uninvited himself. He refused to acknowledge Butch being married to Blossom.

Sex:

Who is on top? - both. Mostly butch, Blossom is a bit of a pillow princess and likes being pampered and honestly he loves making her feel really special???

Who is the one to instigate things? - Butch, 100% all the time. Blossom doesn’t need to because she could literally just stretch and he’d be like “bang?”

How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - Realistically, a few rounds. …Sometimes all night. They get to the point of being all over each other. There are breaks between each round where they just lay there and cuddle and talk or have food / pizza breaks, but they just end up right back at it tbh.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - No, Butch likes counting how many orgasms Blossom has and breaking his record each time tbfh.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Two. A girl and a boy named Beatrix and Brayden. Babies are born on Halloween and Blossom denies Butch getting to name them whatsoever because his suggestions were “Reeses and Peanut Butter.”

How many children will they adopt? - 0. Blossom has a cat butch has a doggo.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Blossom, but when she gets too stressed she literally throws Butch into the fray like change the fricken diapers you jerk

Who is the stricter parent? - 100000% Blossom. Butch is like raising a 3rd child, alongside their two.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Blossom.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Blossom

Who is the more loved parent? - Butch. He lets them get away with everything so they are huge daddy’s kids. Though Brayden will listen to Blossom and follows all the rules. He is a mama’s boy but …he still loves Butch a lot.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Blossom… don’t ever let Butch go to them. He’ll get into fist fights. Same reason why he shouldn’t be allowed at baseball games. Someone insults brayden? or bea??? gET FUCKED YO

Who cried the most at graduation? - Butch. He. listen. he loves his kids. Blossom just pats his back and is like “there, there. I always knew you loved them.” and he would respond with a “NO I DONT THERES JUST SOMETHING IN MY EYE FUCK OFF”

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Butch, cause he doesn’t want their mom to find out.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Blossom. Butch has 0 cooking skills. He loves her cooking. she makes him the spiciest shit just for him. He loves burning his asshole.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Butch. He won’t really touch sweets.

Who does the grocery shopping? - Blossom drags Butch because she needs someone to carry it all. He goes because he likes to stare at her ass as she shops.

How often do they bake desserts? - Blossom will make the occasional dessert for herself and the kids, sometimes Butch will eat it…. and claim he never touched it.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Blossom is a vegetarian but makes meat for Butch and the kids none the less, because he refuses to touch veggies and thanks to that the kids barely want to eat veggies. Correction, only Beatrix. Brayden will eat them if Blossom asks him nicely.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Blossom.. she would go all out for their anniversary and find a babysitter for the kids and all of that. A whole night just for them~~~

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Butch hates being cooped up after awhile and will literally complain until they go out and do something fun.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - always butch. 10000%. and bea. she gets her mom’s fire powers.

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Blossom always

Who is really against chores? - Butch & Beatrix both.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Blossom makes Butch do it, because he has to do SOMETHING and not just lay on the couch being a lazy ass.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Butch….

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Blossom because her husband is a fucking heathen.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Blossom… she’d keep finding random dollars too.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Butch— he runs the hot water out. Though if he isn’t taking a long one, Blossom can take ages due to her hair being so long. Sometimes he has to just help her comb it all out after her shower.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Blossom makes Butch go out and walk them… he starts tying sasquatch to the baby strollers and makes super pup walk the babies.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Blossom would decorate for just about every holiday. Butch thinks its a waste of time, but whatever makes her happy he guesses.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Just being happy??

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Butch, and on some days he’ll manage to get Blossom to sleep all day with him too. They can just sit and cuddle for hours.

Who plays the most pranks? - ….Listen, if you aren’t expecting Butch to play all the pranks on Blossom… well… you aren’t blossutching right I guess.

bonus link to the best art of blossutch in existence.

#pridefulbow #2017 BONNIE AND CLYDE (BLOSSUTCH)

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musicallisto · 6 years

Text

☀ Little Red Seal (pt. i)

In honor of the end of ES. These dorks have lighten up my Fridays for two years and I will miss them entirely. Hope this can make you crack a smile and remind you of better days.

word count: 3100+ words summary: In which Quinn leaves for six days because of a family affair and has no one to take care of her enthusiastic dog while she’s away - fortunately, her eleven loyal best friends are here to save the day. author notes: This will be mostly fluff and fun, but some bits are more stressful like this part! no romantic pairings, everyone is friends. AU: the gang finally reunited, alive and well being huge irresponsible dorks. the ending we deserved tbh. This will be in six parts, because otherwise it will get way too long. I randomized the pairs/teams for this series because I thought it would be more fun! Enjoy!

“THANK YOU SO much for coming on such short notice. You’re really taking a thorn out of my side,” Quinn repeated for the hundredth time at least, pacing furiously everywhere in her living room.

The nervous sound of her heels resonating against the wooden floor - click, click, click - had been the only audible sound for five minutes now as the redhead tried her best to keep her sophisticated bun neat and in place. Michelle had tried to count the amount of times she had paced like a caged lion apparently looking for her phone or her car keys, only to find out they were in her hands the whole time, thanked them for coming around and then went back to gallop around the sofas, but she had lost count after the seventh time.

“Really, it’s okay, Quinn. We’re happy to help,” she replied for the hundredth time as well, her hands furrowed in her pockets - she was this close to walking up to her best friend and having her sit down and keep calm for a second. She was going mad just by looking at her raging wandering.

“Yeah, we love doggos,” Craig added, gently petting the auburn fur of the English Cocker Spaniel, obediently sitting on his right. “They kinda remind me of me. Fun, sporty and a bit smelly.”

“I’m sure taking care of Rónán will be super fun,” Michelle enthusiastically continued, smiling widely. “And you know we can always call reinforcement if we need it. I promise you there’s nothing to worry about!”

Quinn sighed, leaning on the arm of her sofa. She looked down at her furry best friend with a kind smile - it was the first time she was leaving Rónán for more than a weekend, but an important family matter had come up and she was unable to decline the invitation. It would be six days, six days during which she would be away, not knowing if her energetic companion would be alright, and she probably would have freaked out completely if Michelle and Craig hadn’t sensed her despair and volunteered to take care of him for all the duration of her absence. Quinn was perfectly aware Rónán could be... a handful, and she didn’t want to burden her friends with such a charge at first, but when she realized she had no backup plan and after they actively convinced her it was really their idea and they were more than eager to spend a week with the happy young dog.

“Okay, so remember that Rónán has to be brushed - once a week should be enough -, and don’t forget the scissors for the underside of his paws, and to clean his ears, and give him a treat when you’re done with the upkeep, and grooming takes more or less three hours, but you won’t need to bathe him though, his dry food is under the sink, oh and never, ever give him chocolate and-”

“Quinn”, Michelle scowled, adopting her best surgeon voice, the authoritarian yet gentle one that tolerates no riposte, “we will be okay. Do you think I’m the type to be careless? Rónán is in good hands with us. If you should be worrying about someone, it’s Craig.”

“Hey!” the big man barked, outraged. “I don’t see why. I’m perfectly fine and - whoa, careful, pup! That was my foot!”

Quinn laughed, her habitual smile finally adorning her features. Craig and Michelle were going to be amazing keepers for her precious companion, she could be sure of it. Glancing rapidly at her watch, she got up, grabbed her suitcase, hugged her two friends, reminded them she owed them big time - to which Michelle answered the only thing she asked as a repayment is that she stopped thanking her -, affectionately ruffled the top of Rónán’s head and disappeared through her front door, heading to the airport, leaving her best friends together to look after each other, for better or for worse.

As soon as the door slammed shut behind him, Craig heaved out a sigh, mixture of relief and pure terror.

“Man, no pressure, right?”

“Okay, Craig, I know about your tendency to... cut loose from what you’re told to do, but... please don’t screw up. Quinn trusts us and this means the world for her.”

“Uh, excuse me? I don’t ‘screw up’. I’m a pro.”

“I’d call throwing into a bonfire six months’ worth of Sean’s essays a pretty big screw-up.”

“Yeah, well I-”

He was abruptly interrupted by a high-pitched whine at his feet. Looking down, Craig was taken aback by the pleading eyes of the puppy and his sadly wagging tail, as if he were desperately trying to tell his new masters something with his canine sorrow.

“Aw, Meech, look, he’s giving me the puppy look! He must want us to stop bickering.”

“Craig, he’s literally a puppy, that’s why he’s giving you the puppy l-”

But Craig had stopped listening to the med, crouched by the dog’s side to reach his little height, his face leaning to meet Rónán’s, their noses almost touching, a huge smile spread on his lips. He could feel the dog’s highly discouraging hot breath blowing directly on his face, but at that precise moment, the adorableness of the small animal had simply erased every other sensation.

“Ain’t that right, huh, pup? You’re whining because you want us to stop fighting and you want us to stop fighting because you’re a goooood doggo,” he slurred with an abnormally deep voice, contently scratching the furry, auburn chin of the pet.

“Please, Craig, he’s literally whining because he’s hungry,” Michelle snapped at him, crouching down beside Craig and carefully taking Rónán in her arms. At the mention of the last word, the dog excitedly looked down at his new savior, his new goddess, the one who had understood the deepest of his desires: food.

“Oh, you’re probably right. I’ll get the food!” Craig exclaimed, energetically running to the kitchen, leaving Michelle with her newest patient.

“We’ll take good care of you, don’t worry,” the surgeon hummed under her breath, lovingly petting the top of Rónán’s head, right between his enormous, curly, and absolutely adorable ears. “And don’t be afraid of Craig...,” she laughed to herself, still caressing the puppy, her gestures kind and motherly, something she had never noticed in her. “He can be a handful at times, but he’s nice, you’ll see.”

“Meech! Where do I find the dish?” resonated from the kitchen door, left wide open.

Michelle, laughing heartily now, carefully set down the dog; he immediately started wagging his tail, more vigorously now, and raised his eyes, full of hope and belief, to the young woman.

“I should probably help him,” she murmured with a smile.

It was undeniably going to be a fascinating week, to say the least.

“Why do you hate me, Meech?”

“What do you mean? I don’t hate you, Craig.”

“I dunno. You’re always mean and sassy with me. It’s like you despise me.”

The two young adults were sprayed on the couch, a cold Heineken each open, their eyes glued on some reality TV program on television - something about ladies competing for a foreign King’s hand - without even taking in the information flickering in front of their faces. The night had fallen for some time now; Michelle hadn’t looked at her watch for a long time, but she estimated it must have been three hours since Quinn had left them with Rónán. So far so good, she had thought to herself after feeding the animal. Craig turned out to be more delicate than she could ever have imagined with the small beast, caressing his fur with gentleness and even giving him a few treats after his meal - he had insisted, arguing that he deserved a dessert since he, unfortunately, couldn’t have alcohol. Michelle had rolled her eyes, but let him proceed nevertheless. They had nearly collapsed on Quinn’s sofa after grabbing refreshments from her fridge - she wouldn’t mind, right? Although they had spent very little time with the dog, allowing him to play around the house without paying too much attention to him or being glued to the poor boy, they were exhausted, as though the mere concept of being in charge of someone was physically draining.

Michelle sighed heavily. It was true she was accustomed to having her snarky façade on whenever she talked to other people, but that was the way she was, the way she had been brought up and forged through adolescence - and Craig, although far from being stupid, had a harder time understanding that than the others.

Because she didn’t have any special resentment towards Craig, right?

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m that way with everyone. Jake acts like that too and you never whined because he ‘hated you’.”

“But it’s like it goes deeper than that with me. Is it because you hooked up with my best friend?”

“Jesus, Craig, I know subtlety is not your forte, but-”

“I know you think I’m stupid,” he continued, bringing the freezing bottle to his lips and swallowing a large mouthful of beer. “You’re not the only one. That’s my role. I know it. I’m the dumb jock. And Sean is the nice jock. I get it. But you know, it would be cool if you didn’t constantly treat me like a... nobody. A good-for-nothing, yanno. It’s... It gets tiring.”

Michelle remained silent, her beer hanging over a precipice of rugged carpets and white sofas. She had never thought about the effect her behavior - coupled with all the others’ - could have on Craig, since he had always looked like someone who wasn’t concerned one bit about the way people viewed him. All of sudden, she was at a loss for words, conflicted, her fingers shaking a little.

“Listen, Craig, I-”

Her sentence was cut sharp by a brusque sound coming from behind the sofa, far from their field of vision. Michelle, suddenly tensed, placed the bottle on the coffee table and straightened up, eyeing the back of the piece of furniture.

There wistfully sat Rónán, his long, fluffy ears apologetically sweeping the bright wooden floor of the living room, looking down with a grimace and a canine frown at a pool of brownish vomit at his paws.

“He threw up,” Michelle announced, a wave of sympathy and concern engulfing her, just like when one of her patients had a negative reaction to one of her treatments.

“Oh,” Craig sighed sadly. “I guess you don’t really like chocolate, huh, little guy?”

Michelle froze instantly. She turned her iron gaze towards an oblivious Craig with an agonizing slowness.

“You. Gave. Him. What?”

“Uh... chocolate? I read dogs like ch-”

“For fuck’s sake, Craig, chocolate is toxic for dogs!” Michelle yelled, standing up in a swift movement, half of her bones cracking at the unexpected gesture. She tried to hide the anxious trembling of her fingers by running a desperate hand through her mane. “In what timeline and in what dimension did you think it was a good idea to give him chocolate?!”

“I-I don’t know!” he screamed in return, eyes darting furiously between Michelle, his beer and the terrified-looking puppy, who apparently didn’t understand the sudden racket. “He was giving me the puppy look, I-”

“It’s a puppy! It’s the only look it has!” Michelle continued roaring, her hands flying around her body to give more credibility to her anger now. “Please- stop thinking!”

“I-I-I’m sorry! I screwed up! I didn’t know-”

“Of course you didn’t! You never know anything! This is serious, Craig! It can be lethal! Just... just... just clean up this mess and I’ll take care of Rónán!”

“Can you.. cure him?”

“I operate on kids with appendicitis, Craig! Not intoxicated Spaniels!”

“R-Right!” he exclaimed, running to the bathroom, frantically searching for a floorcloth to salvage Quinn’s floor.

Michelle ran to scoop the shaking puppy in her arms as delicately as she could. Truth to be told, she had acted all severe and confident when facing Craig, but she had been transported by exasperation and nerves and had, in fact, no idea what to do. She had been trained to give heart transplants, not save a dog from food poisoning! She didn’t even know if it was grave enough to go to the vet, and even if it was, she had no idea where she could find a clinic still open at that hour, or just any clinic, really - she didn’t know the neighborhood, and definitely didn’t have the time to check on the Internet, and even less stroll around the streets with the dog cradled in her arms hoping to stumble across a green cross...

What could she do? What did she know that could be useful? What had she learned about humans that could be applied to animals? What would Quinn say if she found out they had put Rónán in such danger? Would she hate them? Would she ever trust them with something important? Was she really that irresponsible? She never made those kinds of careless mistakes, she was trained, she had specially studied to face those critical situations, never to let any detail escape from her mind, and yet there she was; could she consider herself a good surgeon after all? What could she do, what could she do? Could she try to give him water, just like she would have done for a patient with food poisoning? But for a dog? Would it work? Could she try that artisanal remedy? What could she do, what c-

“What are you doing, Meech?” Craig called out from behind her back, a mop in one hand and a water bucket in the other, running to the lump-filled stain. “Either get him to the vet or make him throw up but don’t stand there like a lemon!”

His voice was full of a sense of urgency, so uncharacteristic: Michelle could witness he was deeply regretting his actions and wanted to make it up to her, to Rónán, to Quinn, and to himself. Abruptly sent back to reality, Michelle stammered inaudible words, almost dropping the pup. “Michelle, you got this. You’ve had worse crises.” Her inner voice rang strong and sharp inside her mind, and all the critical decisions she’d had to take in her life flashed before her eyes in an instant. Taking a deep, cold breath, she ran to the bathroom, holding securely the ginger puppy against her heart, whose eyelids were starting to flutter heavily. She knew how to make a dog vomit; she had been overwhelmed by nerves and the fear of Quinn’s hatred if something bad happened to Rónán while he was under her responsibility. She had completely lost her composure, something that never happened normally. Something she had been prepared, educated to avoid for years. Biting her lip, she scanned the drawers for a syringe, but her research remained fruitless; Rónán had now gone completely immobile in her arms. She was about to leave the room when her eyes caught the sight of a little note on the sink - picking it up, she recognized Quinn’s cursive handwriting... and the address of her habitual veterinarian. She breathed out the longest sigh of relief in her entire life.

“Craig!” she called. “Take the keys, we’re going to the vet!”

The drive home was lulled by the soft sound of an indie rock song playing on Michelle’s car radio. Craig, riding shotgun, glanced every now and then at the sound asleep, fluffy figure on the backseat with fondness. His armored, football heart had been pierced by the big, black eyes of the red puppy. Rónán was out of danger thanks to the treatment provided by the veterinarian, much more elaborate than anything Michelle could have ever done. Her fingers drummed mindlessly on the steering wheel, biting back yawns. In the end, she had panicked for something merely trivial that could’ve been resorted with a simple visit to a clinic, but she was terrified of letting Quinn down that she had let her nerves get the best of her. She was eager to finally let the Cocker rest in his bed, and sleep herself. It was close to midnight and she was starting to feel the rampage of a migraine closing in, like claws tightening around her temples.

“Hey, Craig?” she asked softly, partly because her headache was dangerously threatening and partly because she didn’t want to be rebuffed violently.

“Hm?” the man groaned, his eyes fixed on the escaping night road outside the window.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. You snapped me out of it and you... were actually the calm and reasonable one,” she laughed nervously. “And I’m sorry for the way I treat you. I didn’t think it affected you that much, I wouldn’t have if I had known about it. I’m sorry. Really.”

“Nah, it’s okay, Meech,” Craig shrugged. “You stressed out. It happens. And I’m kinda used to being seen like that by now.”

“But that’s the saddest part of it. You shouldn’t be used to being taken for granted. I want to make sure you get used to being treated like a damn hero. Because that’s what you are. You’re way too cool to be taken for granted.”

A small smile crept onto Craig’s lips, unstoppable.

“Yeah, guess I’m freaking cool after all. But thanks, Meech.”

“Now don’t tell anyone I went soft on you or I’ll choke you with my Gucci.”

He laughed, and she smiled to herself, a bit revived after the nerve-racking events of the evening. Looking up to the rear-view, her eyes met the peaceful puppy, wiggling instinctively in his sleep, his ears folded back on his eyes like an umbrella protecting him from the outside world... and her grin grew even wider. It seemed like a young, carefree, hairy companion was exactly what Michelle needed to unwind, and put things into perspective.

A dim, blue light suddenly filled the passenger compartment of the car.

“Taylor asks how the babysitting is going,” Craig distractedly announced, typing something on his phone.

A puckish glint lit up in Michelle’s eyes, still focused on the road.

“Tell her she can come meet the little guy if she’d like.”

#endless summer #playchoices #pixelberry #choices stories you play #one-shot #writing #michelle nguyen #craig hsiao #long post

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