#hi my names 12 and i never learned how to respond to asks

[12u3ie]

nods at you...fellow Kris & Jack enjoyer. Person of culture

Hello fellow person of culture! Let us laugh at two funny British men together

[fili-urzudel]

Hi I absolutely love your writing!!! Like seriously you have me smiling to myself hard I feel like an idiot lol. Anyway, can I request a romantic Kili with fake relationship + forehead touches? Bonus points if you add teasing brother Fili into the story too!

I love getting compliments like this omg! I'm so sorry that it took me so long to get this out for you and that I sort of left Fíli out (though whoever said this couldn't have a part two?).

When I put 50. under the meet cute prompt, I meant exactly that: you're strangers when one or the other of you finds yourself in need of a fake romance to escape some situation.

I also have Taylor Swift on the brain

9. Forehead touches (again yippee!)

12. Dancing (added this one)

50. Need a fake relationship immediately

Warnings: Dancing, being a little intoxicated, lying, reader describes self as a woman

Word count: 1.2k

Enchanted - Kíli Durin x Reader

It was nice to be recognized as equals by the dwarves of Erebor. This was what you reminded yourself as you leaned against a pillar in the back of the ballroom. It was nice that they were attempting to involve the people of Dale in their culture. It was nice that, after three years of instability, the two kingdoms could afford a night of leisure.

You had never really been one for parties. Talking got to be boring and stressful quickly, most of the eligible men had already picked their dancing partners, and you had made a promise to yourself to stay lucid. Unfortunately, dwarven liquor was quite strong, so you could only manage one drink for the time being. 

You sighed, wondering if you had wasted too much time tailoring your dress for this event. If you had wasted too much time on practicing what few traditional dwarven group dances you could find information on.

As your eyes swept the room again, they landed on an attractive side profile. Dark hair with bangs, strong features, a dusting of stubble that you hadn't seen before but found appealing, and brown eyes—oh, no. You quickly glanced away, wondering how long you had been staring. You decided to risk raising your eyes again, in the hopes of appearing less awkward. He made eye contact once more, and smiled. It was a dazzling smile, one that you couldn't help but respond in kind to. 

He was moving through the crowd before you knew it. 

"I can see you're having just as much fun as I am," he said sardonically, and you chuckled. 

"Never have I been so excited," you agreed with him.

"Well, there are ways to make the evening more interesting," he mused, and you wondered what he could mean. He glanced to the side, clearly recognizing someone, and he stepped closer, well within your personal space. "Are you a good actor?"

"What?" You asked in a daze. You feared your tipsiness dragging down your understanding.

"A dwarrowdam has been eagerly pursuing me for some weeks and she is beginning to refuse to believe that I have a partner."

"And do you?"

"No," he admitted, and the two of you laughed. "But you could help me uphold the lie."

You contemplated it for a moment. He was certainly more interesting than any man you had yet met. You would go so far as to say he was incredibly handsome. It was all almost enough to make you wish that his interest was more than just a ploy to escape an annoyance. But a dance partner was a dance partner.

"Dance with me," you offered, which earned you another bright smile.

"Of course, my lady," he held out his hand. You realized that neither of you had asked the others' names. Neither of you had offered. 

You took his hand.

"Do you know this dance?" he asked.

"I practiced," you nodded seriously. "Just... never with someone who learned it traditionally."

"I'm sure you'll be fine," he said with another easy smirk. The violins signaled that you had no more time to wonder.

The dance would have been head-spin inducing even if you were sober, especially being the tallest among the dancers. That was rare for you. Still, the intertwined elbows, quick turns, and aisles of other dancers were a thrill, and you were glad to finally be able to participate.

You gave a hearty laugh as the dance finally came to an end with a stomp and a loud cheer. "I did it!" You said proudly, to no one in particular.

Your partner smiled along with you. "You did excellently!" His expression suddenly changed. "Here she comes," he muttered, and you were barely able to steal a glance before the mass of petticoats made herself known. 

"My prince!" She said with fake politeness and a painted on smile. You did your best to hide your surprise. Prince? Was that only a pet name?

He did look awfully similar to your father's description of one of the dwarves that had paraded through Laketown, now that you thought of it. "May I ask who your lovely partner may be? It's quite unusual, men dancing with dwarves, don't you think?"

"Well, then it is a good thing I am a woman," you said, chuckling in a way that you hoped matched her energy. You introduced yourself. "Thank you for calling me lovely. I am courting this handsome dwarf!"

She glanced between the two of you, looking confused and mildly angry. She hid it surprisingly well. "Is this true?" She asked your partner, and he laughed nearly naturally. 

"Of course it is! I keep telling you about her, and well, here she is," he gestured to you with his free hand.

"You never mentioned her name before," she insisted.

"She's a private, quiet maiden. Something I appreciate about her," he said, pushing more warmth into his voice. He was selling it very well.

She stood, upset, observing the two of you for another moment. Just as you were about to excuse the two of you, she spoke up again. 

"Why is it that neither of you have courting beads?"

Your partner's mouth gaped for a moment, and you scrambled for a believable lie. What on earth and in the heavens was a courting bead?

"Ah, well, men's traditions are different, and I am waiting to give..." you realized you still didn't know his name. "...my love a bead of his own until I can learn to forge one well enough that it is an adornment rather than a burden."

"No matter how much I assure her that any gift from her is a treasure," he said with a smile, looking up at you. 

You took the opportunity to hopefully shake his suitor for good. It was the least you could do for your new friend. You dropped your forehead against him, putting on your best lovesick smile. "You're too sweet, beloved."

"Well," the impatient dam huffed. "Congratulations."

Your hair blocked your view. "Is she gone?" You murmured, realizing you could feel his breath on your lips.

"Yes, I do believe you've rescued me," he chuckled, eyelashes fluttering at your closeness. 

"My pleasure," you smiled, before remembering yourself. You straightened, allowing the two of you to clear the floor before the next dance. "Why did she call you Prince?"

"Ah, right," he cast his eyes to the floor. "I am Kíli Durin, Prince of Erebor. Not that it means much, since I'm not in line for the throne."

"Huh," you said simply, sure that if this were any other circumstance, you would be all but panicking. "Well, um, I believe I've already introduced myself, Your Highness. It's a pleasure to properly make your acquaintance."

The prince's face seemed to fall. "Come now, we don't need all of that," he assured you. "I much prefer for you to call me by anything other than my title."

You laughed. "What, like 'my love'?" You referenced your earlier bluff. "I don't suppose that would do for a man I just met."

You thought you perhaps could have seen his cheeks turn pink at the name. "Well, no, but Kíli is a perfectly acceptable middle ground."

"Nice to meet you then, Kíli."

"And it is an honor to meet you."

[delphi-shield]

classified intel // jill valentine

Jill x GN!Reader Fluff wc: 1,543 read on ao3 suggestive themes bc reader sends jill a tasteful nude, reader implied to be civilian, post-di!Jill.

this almost turned into angst, but i excised the sad parts and it turned into another wip. tbh i should be prepping for my tabletop tomorrow but i miss my wife.

Jill's on a work trip, but that's never stopped you from texting her before and it sure as hell's not going to stop you now.

also known as:

i am ruminating on a relationship with jill once more. 😔

Technically speaking, your relationship isn’t long distance.

Just because Jill spent a large portion of her time overseas, god-knows-where, doing god-knows-what, did not mean that you were long distance. Yeah, maybe you do have to schedule calls, fighting timezones and your responsibilities to carve out a measly half hour with each other. That doesn’t qualify, technically, as long distance. You tell this to your friends over and over again. Still, they roll their eyes, hum their doubt, and insist that you may as well be long distance.

Their point remains. You and Jill are apart far more than either of you would like. She’s a busy woman by her own design. Her drive had been something that you had admired about her, even if it was the very same thing that kept her from you. You hadn’t entered this relationship blind to the fact that she would be gone sometimes. You had learned to be okay with it, learned to handle the distance that was often double-edged. 

Texting was usually infrequent when she was away. Her personal cell phone was usually left behind when she went out for assignments - and if she did have it, it was turned off and shoved to the bottom of her pack. You texted her throughout the day, leaving behind a collection of your thoughts for her to come back to. She had taken to responding in one text, a bullet-point list to catch up on everything that she had missed.

 Once, you had gotten anxious about bothering her, about the egregious amount of notifications she would be flooded with when she finally turned her phone back on. You had sent her just one text, telling her to be safe, that you loved her. She had called you the moment she had service, demanding to know what was wrong. Thought something happened to you, I don’t know, she had grumbled, dismissing her paranoia easily over the phone. You had let it go unchallenged, quietly returning to your text spam. The next time she had a chance to talk to you, she had saved her bullet-points for a phone call.

The last time you had heard from her, her plane had landed safely. Her day was going to be packed with intelligence meetings - not really the kind of thing she could be on her phone during. You’ve just gotten home from work when your phone chimes. You take your time checking it, not expecting your girlfriend to be able to chat. She was at least three hours behind you, still in the middle of her work day.

It's a pleasant surprise to see a text from her. Instead of her usual bullet-point reply, she had sent an unflattering picture of a pitbull. Jill’s arm came in from the side of the frame, her hand blurred in the motion of a head pat. The text accompanying it simply read:

5:12 PM: PB&J.

Before you could even ask what that was supposed to mean, Jill sent a second text.

5:29 PM: His name is PB&J.

You grin at your phone, sending her an array of emojis to show how cute that is. You flop back onto your bed, your phone held over your face.

5:31 PM: can you call? just got home lol

5:35 PM: Sorry. Waiting for my next meeting to start.

Shit. You push down your disappointment and look for the silver-lining. At least you could text her for a little bit before she got wrapped up in work again. The dishes in the sink were forgotten in favor of the back and forth between you and Jill. It was hardly the most thrilling conversation. You exchanged the daily monotonies with each other - what sort of coffee she had that morning, how terrible traffic had been for you on your way home, your coat forgotten over the back of your chair at work and Jill’s pen borrowed from an embassy, blue ink, ballpoint and scratchy. It’s easier to superimpose the memory of her alongside you when you have the little details to work with, when you can fill in the gaps in your imagination with the particulars.

Naturally, this devolved into teasing.

5:47 PM: what are you wearing?

5:47 PM: That’s classified.

5:48 PM: tank top and jeans again, huh was kind of hoping for a pantsuit 👀 i know u packed that navy one send pics

You scrolled through your photos, searching for a set of pictures you had taken a few nights ago. If you were going to ask for pics, it was only fair that you send one in return. You had taken them early in the week, consumed by a swell of confidence that had been flushed away the moment you had to scroll through them. You had scrutinized every angle, pinpointed every flaw, every way the light played off of your skin. Your motivation to send them had dwindled quickly. They were filed away into a password protected album, a break in case of emergency stash of photos that may never see the light of day.

Rip the band-aid off, you tell yourself. Send it before you can second guess yourself. You pick your favorite photo, your thumb hesitating over the send button for a fraction of a second before you decide fuck it. She’ll like it. Hopefully.

You drop your phone facedown onto your chest so you don’t stare anxiously at the conversation. It takes all of ten seconds for it to chime again.

5:55 PM: You know the BSAA monitors my texts, right?

Your heart lurches. No way. No fucking way. She’s got to be bluffing. The idea of Jill’s colleague scrolling through your messages with her was mortifying. It wasn’t like this was the first time you had sent her pictures like that. Even if you hadn’t sent those, there were still plenty of texts that you didn’t need anyone else seeing.

She’s bluffing. Has to be.

5:57 PM: bullshit lol 5:57 PM: very funny 6:13 PM: youre not serious right 6:14 PM: ?? 6:14 PM: jill pls 6:24 PM: omg ur not joking are you

Logically, you knew that Jill’s meeting had started. That was why she wasn’t responding. You knew there was no way the BSAA monitored her personal communication 24/7, and you knew that if they did she would have told you about it the first time you had sent her a picture like that, not the hundredth. However, you also knew that she loved keeping you in suspense. No matter what she said to the contrary, you knew that Jill loved to watch you squirm. She found it cute, or so she had confided in you one night, half-asleep and tangled in your sheets.

It took a full hour later for Jill to get back to you. During the course of that hour, you damn near paced a track around your bedroom and filled your google search history with plenty of things to ruin your targeted advertising. Choice examples include ‘employee handbook bsaa north america’ and ‘bsaa employee phone policy’. 

Your phone doesn’t even finish the first ring. You see Jill’s name flash on screen, and you’ve already got your phone up to your ear.

“Please tell me you’re joking,” you blurt out, your thumb wedged between your teeth.

Jill blurts out a confused what, her voice wobbling with a laugh. It clicks for her a moment later.

“Oh - the ‘monitoring my texts’ thing?” She says, voice lighting with amusement. “Yeah, no. They don’t do that. You look good, though. Did I buy that?”

You let out a relieved groan. “You are such an asshole,” you huff. “I was worried the entire United Nations had just seen my ass.”

“Oh, c’mon. I would have told you not to send stuff like that if they were pulling my texts.” You can’t argue with that. She may have liked to see you squirm, but she was well aware of your boundaries.

“Got any other angles? I remember that outfit having more straps.”

You snort. “Maybe. Gonna need some reciprocation first, though.”

You hear Jill hum over the phone. A door opens in the background, a deep voice drifting over the phone, indecipherable. Jill pauses, listening.

“I’ll see what I can do. Gotta go.”

You hurry to say goodbye, squeezing a quick love you in before the call cut off.

The quiet creeps back into your apartment. You’re left staring at Jill’s contact photo. You tap it to view it in full. Jill’s arm wrapped around your shoulders, your head thrown back in a laugh. You were cuddled up on the porch swing of a bed & breakfast, an impromptu weekend trip Jill had taken you on a month ago. You had cropped the photo, centering it on Jill - on the way she looked at you and smiled, her eyes soft in a way that you had never seen before.

Your phone buzzed, and you nearly swiped the notification away out of habit. You caught yourself just in time, catching Jill’s name.

8:53 PM: 1 attachment

Your eyes scoured the picture, grin crinkling the corners of your eyes. Goddamn - you knew she had packed that pantsuit. You’re typing a reply when she sends another text.

8:54 PM: Do not say awooga.

You delete your draft and think of a different way to express your appreciation.

[badgyalshii]

SHII’Z AMBIGUOUS MASTER LIST

About me?

Hey, my name is Shii (shy) and i like sad fanfics dont ask😂

I am a POC and bigger than y/n😒 old enough to smoke when i wanna, ndddd yeah

I am not a new writer! I have written in the past and had an old blog (miss them to death) but i considered myself rebranded since i am not in that fandom anymore + i believeeee i have a new in depth writing style since ive found myself and actually started taking in my passion for writing.

F!POCS+PLUS-SIZE SAFE

All women (and possible men) different shades, sizes, personalities is welcome to my blog and id love to share my stories for everyone to enjoy if you’re willing to read it😘!

WHO DOES SHII WRITE FOR?

I write for Timothee Chalamet and his characters, but for right now, i will only be writing for Timmy, Paul, and Lee

Overtime i will adapt to new characters/actors.

WHAT DOES SHE WRITE?

I write everything! Smut, fluff, angst, all of that.

WHEN WILL SHE POST?

every sunday/monday at 12 am/pm for series, if no series and just imagines then really whenever i feel like it!

HAVE A REQUEST/QUESTION, COME TALK!

My asks are always open for everyone, requests are always open, although it might take me time to get to it so i just ask you be patient due to my busy schedule/or if i just have personal issues/or if i just dont want to write at the moment, but I will get to you.

I have no filter, if you need help/advice, ill give it to you straight. Ive learned from other’s mistakes that you shouldnt water down anything.

If how i respond bothers you, dont ask! Simple as that. My blog, my rules.

IMPORTANT NOTE!!

Please don’t recommend how my series should go. Most likey its already half-written/done. not saying we cannot talk about it/have perdictions, i would love that!

ITS NEVER OVER| I . II . III . IV -> COMPLETE

⤳ A life of loving Paul Atredies. You want to love him and keep him in your life and by your side as long as possible, but when he offers the hand to princess Irulan, you just couldnt.

IMAGINES

I AM WHO I AM -> COMING SOON

Y/n, a shy eater with no parents but daddys money takes a trip and moves to San Francisco, on the way there, it wasn’t pleasant considering she just met this boy, and she makes it up by buying him dinner, but they stay connected even after the bad first encounter.

IMAGINES

[hisdarlingabsurdity]

Frankenstein's Monster

Pairing: Neteyam x Fem! Human! Reader

Tags: slow af. Part two otw. Bitter, jaded reader. Stressed Neteyam. Slow burn. Reader is a reader.

You haven’t been yourself lately, and you think it might have something to do with how everything is just so blue. Ever since you were so disrespectfully given birth to, you’re almost always surrounded by blue. It wasn't annoying at first, except the color never seems to be out of sight, there's always something that's blue everywhere you look. Literal blue aliens talk to you. And nobody has any idea how vexed you are at how ridiculously blue the sky is. Now the sea. Everything is just so goddamned blue. 

But you say nothing. It would be unbecoming of you to complain (about something so silly too) after all, it was the Sullys who saved you, Jake had taken you under his wing and taught you almost all he knows about surviving here as a human, so it makes sense that they would take you with them in their self-imposed exile.

They saved you from Dionysus Red, Container 12 where you were known as Subject 003. Even your uniform as No. 3 back then was blue. No wonder you hate the color.

 You really do not know where you stand with all of this. You are grateful, yes. You now eat three times a day, and not those shitty slop they served you back in Dionysus. You had a room of your own and you were free to do as you like, study, learn, listen to music, read, and use the technologies so generously bestowed upon you at Hell's gate. But you didn't belong there, hell, you don't belong anywhere on this moon you were so kindly shoved into existence on.

But you were glad that there was another human there that was your age. His name was Spider and you think he's stupid, especially when he tries to hiss. You adore him, but he gets on your nerves sometimes.

"I wish I could breathe outside like you. It's so unfair," he said one day.

You were watching a video about earth when he strutted in, and stared at you for five minutes straight, before finally speaking. You peek over the screen in favor of looking him in the eyes when you respond. "Sorry we couldn't salvage any of the tech they used to experiment and torture me for an ability I did not ask for. Though it would've been better if you waited for them to make it to subject 14, maybe by then they'd be working on people like me but with tails so they can make tsaheylu."

He shook his head, unraveling his crossed arms. "Okay, sorry. But that wasn't what I meant. You know that."

You shrug. "I don't know what you need my lungs for when you can just stay here with me and just…not go outside, to a world where everything tries to kill ya." You see him giving you a pointed look.

"But you don't even stay here all the time like that, I also envy how Jake gets you himself and teaches you how to survive here. Like, are you kidding me? The Chief himself? And he's practically adopted you." He mumbles the last part.

 You wonder if he sees the arrangement as  special treatment. You don't see it as such but of course, leave it to Spider to overthink things. If he pursues this logic, as ridiculous as it is, he might even one day think that Jake sees you as part of his family. Fool.

"He tries, and I have no idea why. I'm just going with it because I respect him and I believe he's doing it because for some reason (you sigh) he sees me as his responsibility. He's got like what, six kids? Ain't that enough brats to handle?"

"He's teaching you all that stuff because it's all you need since you can breathe their air, all that's left is for you to learn skills and stuff. Y'know, stuff scientists can't inject on you." he says as he plops himself up on a table. "And he's got four."

You roll your eyes, before they flickered to his legs, freshly smeared with spartan fruit, dyed to mimic the Na'vi body stripes. He sees you looking and sighs once again. "You see what I do to try and feel like I belong with them?"

"You certainly belong with them more than I do, you grew up here, and you get along with his children too."

"More like they tolerate me." He rolls his eyes.

"Their mom tolerates you, the kids like you." You drop the datapad on the table to completely focus on him. "That's something, isn't it? At least the kids don't hate you. His eldest glares at me like I personally offended his ancestors."

"Oh, they don't hate you. You don't exactly make it easy to approach you."

"Yeah, well I'm not that interested in making friends, ok? I've got you already. In any case, I think you might as well be part of their family with the amount of time you spend around them."

"I still think being able to breathe the same air as them would help a lot," he replies. 

Sometimes you still miss him.

You do hope that he's still alive…unless he's in a situation where dying is much more preferable.

Naturally, since Jake Sully more or less became your guardian, you had to leave with them. You didn't mind really, and you felt a kind of loyalty towards him, loyalty that's bordering on obsequiousness, and it scares you because you know you would do anything he asks of you (so you've gotten good at hiding before he gets the chance).

And that same loyalty made you feel anger again for the first time in a long while. 

"Absolutely not." Ronal says, the moment her eyes landed on you, she's already decided. 

You feel blood rush to your ears, your fingers digging into your palms as you feel everyone's eyes on you. You knew what Jake's family was thinking. That Neyteri was right and that they shouldn't have taken you with them. Now, they were moments away from finally convincing the chief to let them stay, and your mere presence ruined it. You hated the fact that they would be rejected, and sent away because of you. You knew you'd cause an inconvenience, everyone did, yet they just had to drag you along.

You were seriously even considering friendship with them, since you don't have a Hell's Gate to hide in, no Spider. Now they're all you've got. And you thought that maybe they don't hate you that much. But now the inconvenience of your presence was palpable, you realize that you've got no right to even think about friendship.

"She's one of us…" 

You could hear Jake in the background, voice too muddled because you couldn't focus, you didn't want to focus, because if you did, you'd hear what they had to say, and when you do, you wouldn't be able to help but formulate a response, and then you'd never be able to keep your mouth shut like Jake practically begged you to. So you bit your lip, kept your eyes on the ground, and held your tongue.

⌛🌊⌛

You yawn as you stretch, popping a few joints here and there. You step out of your new home with the Sullys, which was what they called a marui. You look up at the blue sky, then down at the blue sea. Then you catch some of the reef folks giving you the stink eye. You glare back and they shuffle away with a grimace, all pride and indignation. You really wanted to give those blue, lanky-ass grumps a good throttling.

"Stop glaring at the locals, dad told us to behave." The eldest of the Sully kids say as he steps out, already geared up for the day. You look up at him. "He only meant it for you troublemakers. Also, it wouldn't matter if I behaved or not." 

It didn't matter because they would always find something to be displeased about when it came to you.

 

You knew that he knew exactly what you meant and you walked away. Then you went padding right back, then past him to grab the book you forgot from inside the marui. You feel his gaze at you as you leave until you rounded a corner, walking far away to go look for a hiding spot for the rest of the day. 

You plan on making the most of your freedom before Jake masters whatever water animal it is he's practicing on, because then he'll have time to spare on you. 

You hear someone call out your name.

You turn and watch as Kiri sprints her way towards you. You squint up at her, almost blinded at the bright smile she was sending down at you. What an angel. 

"Now, where are you skulking off to again?"

"Anywhere that's far enough."

She looks around comically. "I don't think dad would appreciate you migrating off to another island for your reading time."

"Haha, very funny." You say, trailing off awkwardly, not knowing how to further contribute to the small talk she was obviously initiating.

She giggles as she proceeds to walk ahead, slow enough to let you know that she wants to walk alongside you.

"Look, I just…" she starts, waving her hands a little as she looks for the words she wants to say. "I don't think separating yourself from us is a good idea."

You say nothing, so she continues.

To be honest, it wasn't surprising of her to approach you about this. Of course they might care a smidge about you, like one would normally feel for a stray cat they occasionally give food to.

"They might see that. That we aren't that close. They might realize the distance you're creating and use it to their advantage, to try and hurt you."

"Then you underestimate people, and their capacity for cruelty."

"I think they'd be too disgusted to even try and approach me."

"Oh, I'm well aware of cruelty, I never underestimate anyone's capability for it. But I know I can be just as cruel. You can count on me to not be a pussy and let them trample on me."

"I know. But I think it's better if you don't go looking for trouble…" she says.

"What do you mean?" 

"I think it's better if you stay close to us, don't give them the opportunity to approach you. Don't give them a chance to get a rise out of you and cause conflict."

Oh but of course. Of course she wasn't worried about you, she just doesn't want you to cause more trouble for them. Fair enough. It was presumptuous of you to think that you'd even be on the same level as a stray cat.

"But I don't think your siblings would appreciate my presence around them. Believe me, I also don't want to cause anything bad for your family. Why'd you think I keep my distance for? I stay far away from you, because I know that they'll attempt to provoke me, maybe possibly even try to hurt me, get rid of me, or kill me. I stay far so no one will get involved. The conflict would be contained. Just me. Get it? " 

You stop, and she turns to you with an even more worried look on her face as she scans your features. "That's a valid point," you say.

She stammers, struggling to reply as her cheeks darkened. What she was getting worked up for, you do not know. But you do hope that your genuine wish to not cause problems for them would set her mind at ease.

You walk off.

⌛🌊⌛

You think that perhaps they shouldn't worry too much about you causing trouble, when they can't keep away from it themselves.

You hear Jake's voice from inside the tent. He was seething, and you watch as Lo'ak, the second son, walks out of the marui, his face bruised. He huffs as he pushes past you. You decide against loitering around there like a nosy eavesdropper, not wanting to come face to face with anyone from the tent. Then Neteyam walks out of the Marui. He raises an eyebrow at you, then you turn your back, about to escape from the reaches of the flame, or at least tried to.

"And you," Jake calls out. 

You turn towards him, and you see Neteyam grab this opportunity to vanish.

"You're coming with me."

"...um, no. I don't think so."

From the corner of your eyes, you see Neteyam pause, then pivot towards you, probably with a 'the fuck?' look on his face, the usual one he sends towards you.

Jake narrows his eyes as he stares you down, and you gulp.

"What I meant was, I am not ready yet, sir. I would like to have more time to gather my  courage, please." 

You hear Neteyam scoff.

Jake's brows drew together, deep in thought. You knew you had at least a little bit of a chance that he might relent when he takes his time to decide. If you had no chance at all, then he wouldn't have to think about it. You knew he was too busy for you, and you were right.

"Fine. But prepare yourself. I won't be as lenient once your training starts. You have a lot to learn." 

You, in your relief, grinned up at him. He blinks, clearly taken aback, his stern gaze softening. How it baffled you even more, when he nodded and patted you on the head, before striding off.

You almost burst out laughing when you catch Neteyam gawking at you. You try to keep your lips from curling into a smug, shit-eating grin for his sake. You failed.

⌛🌊⌛

You hate how that exchange improved your mood so much. It was revolting, the way the world seemed so much brighter after receiving a pat on the head from your saviour. You must've been a lot more lonely than you let yourself realize.

Perhaps Jake knew, because he went ahead and dragged you with them to dinner. The dreaded communal gathering that you've been avoiding.

You should've attended these gatherings sooner.

You loved watching the reef folk squirm under your blank stare. And since Jake successfully mastered riding a skimwing, his reputation improved significantly. The reef folk are more careful not to offend him and his people now, at least in front of the chief. Now you can creep them out without having to worry about getting beat up (at least not right now).

The fun was cut off though, when Neteyam notices what you've been doing. He was onto you at once, smiling politely at the people he passed, then as he reaches you,  his smile falls into a scowl. He leans down to you and whispers "will you stop doing that." It was more of a hiss, really. His smile was back again as he pulls away.

For the rest of the night, you can feel his gaze on you. You don't see your life flashing before your eyes, so it probably wasn't a glare anymore. It was unnerving, still. Especially since he's also, quite obviously hovering around you. He wasn't even trying to hide it, like a reminder, a warning.

It was a pretty nice distraction though. At least it was a far cry from the kind of looks you always get from the reef people. Granted, you kind of deserve it for creeping them out with your perfectly practiced, blank eyes, but they wouldn't receive such disturbing stares if they weren't looking at you in the first place. Since the beginning, they look at you like you were a walking direhorse shit. Except for that one girl named Tsireya. You could practically feel her curious stares like laser beams. At least they hurt less than the usual repulsion. Ah. Hurt. Yes, of course it hurts. No amount of bitterness and pretense of indifference can protect you from your very human weaknesses. The desire to be a part of a community. How completely alone you are now, without Spider, without those agreeable middle-aged scientists back in Hell's Gate, who exerted so much effort into building rapport with you. Tsireya's curious gaze is refreshing.

And as if she was summoned with the mere thought of her, Tsireya taps you gently on the shoulders. You meet her squinting eyes, sparkling with mirth, with your dead ones.

"Hi," she says

"Hi," you answer.

She looks down, still smiling. Shouldn't you say something? But she's the one who approached you, if anyone's gotta say something it should be her. 

You watch as she purses her lips in thought. Then she meets your gaze again.

"I apologize. I've never met a human before, and don't really know how to say what I want to say exactly the way I mean them."

You feel a bit warm, right in the chest because she talks so gently and she's so nice and her voice doesn't bear any disgust or hostility…

"What I do want to say is that," she continues. "I would like to be your friend."

"No, thank you."

Observe, the way her eyebrows meet but with anger so nonexistent, its absence apparent in the way her lips form a pout, her eyes glistening in dismay. You know she feels guilty because of the way her villagers have been treating you. You start to feel a little guilty yourself, but her mortification at your unexpected rejection of her offer of friendship gives you that unhinged sense of satisfaction. It gives fuel to the tiny flames licking at the hollow feeling in your knees. It was exhilarating.

You knew Neteyam was watching, too stunned to try and save the day.

You also knew that her brother was watching, his body tensing at the sight of his upset sister. He was far enough away to give you time, and you wait as he pushes himself off the tree he was leaning against, his eyes burning holes at the side of your head.

"You wouldn't gain anything by becoming friends with me. If anything, it would probably upset your parents." You explain.

Tsireya shakes her head, and she grabs both of your hands. Your eyes widened at the contact. 

"I do not think you deserve the way you've been ostracized. You are different, yes. But you are not evil, not like the demons we've heard so much about. Let me be your friend, we can show them that you are not one of those demons."

You did not expect this reaction, and you look around, hoping that no one other than her brother and Neteyam was looking, fat chance because everyone in the village has been blatantly looking at the two of you the moment she took your hands in hers.

"How do you even know that I'm not one of them?" 

Aonung reached the two of you, his lips curling in disgust at the sight of your hand in his sister's.

"I have a feeling. And let us confirm this feeling of mine by spending more time together!" She gives you an earnest smile.

You wanted to shoot her down again and reject her, this time right in front of her brother, just out of spite. But with her round, bright eyes, her genuine smile and reassuring grasp, you couldn't do it.

"If you really want to, I guess." You shrug, trying to appear nonchalant, even as she squeals, shaking your hands as she gleefully bounces up and down. You wanted to smile too.

"Do you wish to be one of us or something?" Aonung asks, clearly giving his all to appear civilized.

"No." You answer simply, and as fast as you can before you could think of a rude answer.

You notice everyone losing interest in your conversation with the chief's children. The reef people are slowly getting back to mind their own businesses. You don't want to gain their scrutinizing gaze once again, and upsetting these two kids would. 

"Then why are you trying to associate yourself with my sister?"

"Aonung," Tsireya groans. "I was the one who asked her first. I'm the one who wants to be friends."

Aonung ignores her as he steps closer towards you, his eyes flickering over to Jake before down again at yours. You couldn't help but steal a glance at Jake too, only to find him too busy talking with Tonowari, the chief. You meet Aonung's gaze once again, this time he was wearing a predatory grin.

"A human, a demon, trying to worm its way into somewhere it doesn't belong. That's what you are. Do not forget."

You take a deep breath, feeling the cool night air stretch your lungs as you try to resist the urge to deck him, right in front of his own village.

"What's up?" Lo'ak saunters toward your friendly group, both his arms resting on top of his head in a lazy manner. His clueless gaze shifting from Tsireya, then to you, then at Aonung. "Am I interrupting something?"

Simultaneously, the metkayina siblings answer a negative and a positive.

"Great, what is this? The gathering of freaks?" Aonung laughs. Neteyam winces, his eyes burning a fiery glare that you've become familiar with.

Kiri follow behind Lo'ak, sheepishly looking at you through her eyelashes.

"It must be, since you're here too." You say before Neteyam could even open his mouth.

The other three, Lo'ak, Kiri, and Tsireya blanches at your answer, the two other 'freaks' not even given enough time to feel offended. Silence ensues and you could almost hear the gears in Aonung's brain as he processes your unexpected retort. It definitely wasn't one of your best, and you cringe.

Lo'ak all but explodes in raucous laughter, causing eyes and heads to turn in your direction once again.

Aonung's sharp eyes flicker once again towards the direction where his father and Jake were, before huffing as he slowly backs away.

"That's right. Enjoy yourself tonight. It is a party after all."

He was definitely going to have you killed.

You know you've contradicted yourself when you told Kiri that you do not want to cause them trouble, only to later start provoking reef people. You managed to not make a scene (you kinda did) and ruin the party (you nearly did) though. That's something.

"What was that?" Neteyam asked, eyebrows slanted downwards in disapproval. You shrug. "Some guy walked up on me and started spouting shit?"

He huffs, clearly irritated. "You've obviously been annoying people on purpose," he says in a low voice, so as to not gain more attention. 

"It was me who approached her!" Tsireya whispers, vehemently defending you.

"What happened?" Lo'ak asks, also whispering, his head bent and leaning towards you.

"We all know you've been making others feel uncomfortable on purpose." Neteyam says to you.

You scoff. "Story of my life in a nutshell."

"What?"

"I only treat people the way they treat me, Neteyam. They glare at me and it doesn't matter if I ignore them, they'll still see me as a monster and treat me like shit. I just decided to have fun with it."

Neteyam sighs. He looks around before meeting your gaze once again. "Just stop with the troublemaking, it's the least you can do."

You wanted to rip your hair off. 

"Well, I'm sorry then. Sorry for terrorizing the metkayina people by mirroring their stares!" You flip Neteyam off, mouthing a very aggressive 'fuck you'. He gapes at you, mortified. You shake your head, muttering a tiny "shit" as you leave, already regretting the way you handled things, but still leaving as fast as you can to escape.

…

"You kinda deserved that." Lo'ak states.

Neteyam gives him an offended look, before also shaking his head as he walks off to the opposite direction, his head filled with thoughts of you.

[faebriel]

brrrr rainduo hunger games au

mad shoutouts to bee, beans, daisy and cherry for hopping on the rainduo hunger games bandwagon kdhkdjd

okay so nonnie i have a bit of hunger games knowledge (have watched the first two movies with some pals in the last month, various clips on youtube, etc) so i decided to take this one to my friends in clout farm to bounce some ideas around. niki and wil as tributes? niki as a tribute and wil as an estranged old friend who won the games five years ago and then was swallowed up by the capitol? two coworkers in the world's worst subminimum wage job? then bee comes in with the sledgehammer

for everyone else who also thought oh god i need to google that: avoxes are rebels, traitors or deserters who had their tongues cut out as punishment, and are forced into servitude by the capitol.

alright so. wilbur and niki are two kids in district 12 in the midst of a potential regime change - and they're kids, around ten and fourteen each. to-be-president schlatt is shoving around president dream and it almost seems like this might be a window for change, something wilbur is so passionate about

and then that wrong person overhears, and wilbur is gone.

niki assumes that wilbur is dead. (and tries not to think about how he got taken, because of nothing more than sheer bad luck, and she didn't.) it's awful, but seven years pass and she does her best to cope with it. and then her name is called at the reaping, when she is seventeen years old.

niki has absolutely zero intention of playing along with the games - she thinks they're horrible, just another way for the capitol to terrorise the people of the districts, even if she's learned by now the consequences of actually saying that out loud. she meets her mentor, jack - a year younger than she is, district 12's only remaining victor. he came out of the coal pits at thirteen, with just enough charisma and confidence to win over the sponsors and just enough grit to outlive every other tribute in his games, despite his age.

unfortunately for jack, niki is stubborn as hell when she makes her choices, and she's chosen not to play. fuck the capitol - fuck acting as their entertainment while they burn her entire fucking world down. fuck smiling how they want her to and acting sweet. why should she? she should she, when they've ripped her away from everything she had to lose? niki can hold her own, but not like this - and if she is going to go to her death, she refuses to act pretty about it.

and then she encounters wilbur.

it's one of the dinners for the tributes - one of the early ones, right after they're paired off with their stylists (niki doesn't entirely know what to make of hbomb, who asks her what colour hair dye she'd prefer in one breath and then lays out the most cynical, how-to-get-ahead guide to the games in the second, and then exalts the benefits of a kitty ear motif in the third) but before the interviews and grading. they're eating the fanciest food niki has seen in what is probably her entire life, although it tastes like nothing more than ash in her mouth, and pouring the tributes and their mentors glasses of expensive wine - never mind that almost all the tributes are underage, because when else will they get the chance to drink, hey? niki is still silently fuming, pushing her food around her plate and refusing the sixth damn offer to refill her wine glass and she finally looks up and behind the mask he's wearing, behind the unrecognisable silence, behind seven years of thinking one of her best friends had been horribly killed (and being entirely unable to process that fact) - she sees wilbur.

she immediately asks, wilbur? - not that he responds, and now hbomb and jack are giving her weird looks as hbomb informs her it's just an avox and jack goes oh, yeah, they don't have them in the districts, but -

none of their words matter, because half of niki is solidly trapped in this space between reality and dreams and her worst nightmare - she's only able to pull her shit together once jack has dragged them all back to the district 12 tribute spaces, and gives her the whole spiel about what an avox is, and by extension, what happened to wilbur.

niki is horrified. to think she mourned for all those years, and wilbur was alive - not just alive, but mutilated and tortured at the hands of the capitol. niki didn't think she could become more furious, more enraged with them. she was wrong.

the problem now, then - if niki wants to help wilbur, actually help him, she has to play. she has to win.

(and yes, she does set the forest on fire. she has to win, after all, doesn't she?)

this post is getting so so long so i am putting some more miscellaneous thoughts about The World and more details about niki's games under the cut ⚔️

okay so dream WAS president but was overthrown by schlatt in a "peaceful transfer of power". this was around when niki and wil were 10/14 each - and naturally uprising resulted in a peacekeeper crackdown in the districts, leading to wilbur's capture and arrest :(

2. haven't really nailed down other tributes in niki's reaping (i'm already handwaving the guy from district 12. he doesn't exist to me he is stock image steve) besides uhh ranboo who niki makes brief friends/allies with and then dies horribly. i was thinking aimsey and guqqie because from what i've seen of their content they love a tragedy? but yeah idk

3. sam is the gamemaker for this arena! he was a former victor and has decided to use this knowledge in the worst way possible.

quackity is Also a gamemaker (young upstart with no experience yet in the arena or out of it) and they have terrible workplace drama. is he hooking up with the president? i will not say yea or nay.

4. rest easy in the knowledge that, as a servant to the capitol, wilbur got to see on live television the moment niki was reaped :']

5. niki does, in fact, win the games - by the skin of her teeth. while she is so full of fury at the capitol, i feel like she'd Actually kill like, one career and then feel Extremely ill about it. unfortunately, she has too much on the line to lose. this isn't just about surviving, or going home - she needs to get herself and wilbur home in one piece. she Cannot Afford To Fail.

she ends up winning by setting the arena on fire with use of a match donated by jack and some sponsors he managed to twist the arm of, plus probably some clever digging around in the arena itself to find something flammable (maybe some kind of fuel to power the arena itself?) this fire ends up killing off the remaining few tributes at that point - at least one in front of niki herself - and damages the arena too. niki, already injured before the fire started and now barely clinging onto life past her burns, doesn't even hear the sound of the cannon shots as her victory is announced - she only realises that she's won once the hovercraft descends, perfect steel against a fiery, smoke-filled artificial sky.

she can't really stand the sight of flames after that. unfortunately, fire becomes her new branding.

6. district 13 Is a thing. Eventually. can't overlook niki's beloved anarchist friends :3c

and finally:

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #40

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [Intermission] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39]

[AO3] [wattpad]

*Sinbad goes yandere off and on *Sinbad goes to horny jail *Major spoilers for the Adventures manga ~POV Mori~ The King left with the first few fate scrolls and I dropped onto my new sofa. Even after the curtain covering my doorway stopped moving I couldn't look away. 'Does he mean it? ...Actually, what was "it" in that question? His willingness to change his path, or what he pressed me on before that? ... But Sinbad never falls in love or gets married.' I could try to deny which part was hitting harder all I wanted until those feelings made themselves into words I couldn't look away from.

There was no way I was going to get any meaningful progress done for the rest of the day, but I also couldn't bring myself to move. Only the ringing of the Great Bell was able to break the looping conversation in my head. ---

During the meeting the next morning I couldn't stop myself from watching Sinbad. 'How much of the scrolls did he read?' There wouldn't be anything actually useful for him for a few scrolls so that could be why he looked the same. Regardless, my heart couldn't stop racing every time I remember everything else that happened around his request to take the scrolls.

Eventually I couldn't hold back my curiosity and a few days later I asked him what he thought of the scrolls at lunch. He got a nostalgic expression, and put down his food. "I was surprised to see you wrote that much about my parents. I don't have many memories of my father so it was... nice to read about him."

"I see." I wasn't sure how else to respond.

The nostalgic look in his eyes left but I couldn't tell what it was replaced with. It reminded me of when he was analyzing new information to make some type of plan. He moved the conversation along the timeline and eventually asked, "Is what you wrote about Yunan true? He really has the memories of multiple lifetimes?"

I nodded with my answer, "Yes. Having to experience the continuous ups and downs of history first hand is what made him so jaded."

"I see." Sinbad immediately switched topics to the adventures recorded in the scrolls and talked of feeling nostalgic but it didn't touch his features like it did earlier. At least his laugh seemed genuine. "Reading about how I handled Sassan and Artemyra made me realize just how little I cared about the basic rules of nobility. It's no wonder Ja'far was always so stressed."

I almost had a spit take. "That's putting it lightly." He used force to back their leaders into a corner and then said 'Join me in the name of peace.' --- ~POV Sinbad~ The King had hoped for more detailed answers. It was clear that the section about Yunan had been rewritten to remove something important. But that wasn't the only reason. In a later scroll, he read about his own experience in learning what Magi are. When he realized Yunan, a Magi, had chosen him it only made him more certain that he was chosen by Fate, and his gift of the waves was undeniable proof that he was special. His Beautiful Prophet did not hold back when she wrote: 'his illusions of grandeur reached a new height and were undeniably why he would fall into traps made by his own greed just as much as by those wishing for his downfall.' Knowing what would be covered in the next few scrolls made those words hit harder. It also made him hesitate to retrieve them from the Prophet.

Mori was getting better at hiding the aspects of Fate she didn't want anyone to know. If he pushed, it would become obvious what he was actually looking for: clues about the 2nd Calamity as well as his own death. At least Mori's answers confirmed the thoughts he had reading the scrolls. As soon as lunch was over, Sinbad instructed Ja'far to gather as much information as possible on Yunan and, more importantly, any information about the past Kings chosen by magi. There was an important clue there; he could feel it. ---

~POV Sharrkan~ The King dismissed all but the first generation of Household Members from the meeting room. Spartos dutifully left to return to his post, and Yam returned to the Magician's Tower with Mori. Meanwhile, Sharrkan and Pisti roped Masrur into staying back with them to eavesdrop. Ja'far was the first to speak. "We've narrowed down the options to 3 rooms for Mori," he sighed, "but I have a feeling you won't pick any of them." A pit formed in Shar's stomach, 'Wait. Doesn't Mori already had an office?' Their King laughed. "I'm sure they're all good options, but I still say the rooms next to mine would be the best." "Right." Hina teased, "Because Mori's going to be real happy when they realize you put them in the Queen's Suite after they rejected you." 'Nonononono!' Pisti and Masrur both gave Sharrkon pity pats. The shorter of the 2 struggled to suppress her giggles.

When the Palace was made, Sinbad said he didn't want a Queen's Tower or Harem built because he'd never want either. The lack of a Harem was eventually accepted, but Sin couldn't deny that the Kingdom would someday need an official heir so the Queen's Suite was made to placate the voices he couldn't convince. However, nothing short of the threat of war had a chance of putting someone in those rooms, until now. "They confessed their feelings for me first. It'll be fine." Sinbad defended his decision. "In time, Mori will realize that my feelings aren't going to change and all of this will be a thing of the past, won't it? I just want to make sure they're safe and comfortable while I'm out of the country." 'Damnit! If Mori actually likes Sin, then repeatedly coming on to her would definitely prove that his feelings weren't changing.' ((Boy no... (⁠ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ⁠)⁠>⁠⌐⁠■⁠-⁠■)) Shar was about to lose the last bet and there was nothing he could do about it. The only bright side was that this could give him the answer of how to finally get Yamuraiha to turn his way. Drakon countered Sinbad's enthusiasm. "While constancy is important, so is respecting consent." The Generals hiding outside pictured his serious expression in their heads. "Forcing them to fill the position in all but name will only make them hate you." "Augh." Sinbad groaned in time with Sharrkon. "I know, but what am I suppose to do then?" The Womanizer of the Seven Seas asked with not even a fraction of the despair his protegee was feeling. "Well, for one thing," Ja'far gave the first recommendation, "you really need to stop asking for call girls and flirting all the time." "I know. That's-" Sinbad started. "A decade and a half of cleaning up your messes is reason enough, Sin." Ja'far continued. "I don't know what Mori told you, but did you forget what they said back in Balbadd? How they'd never fall in love with a womanizer? They might not care while they're just flirting with you, but that's very different from being in a relationship." No wonder the Prophet had brought up Yam saying the same thing to Sharrkan... Sin tried again. "I know. That's-" Drakon agreed with his fellow General. "For a man to prove his character, he must show what type of partner he will be before he ever enters a relationship." "Which is why I-" Hinahoho added for good measure, "Think of it this way Sin: which of us here have actually had happy marriages?" "JUST WHAT TYPE OF MAN DO YoU TaKe Me for?!" Sinbad's voice booming was followed by a thump of him crashing back into his chair. "Don't answer that!" He paused. "I never wanted to get married before so it wasn't a problem until now!" He sighed loud enough to be heard outside the room. "Mori told me directly that they don't believe my advances because of reading my Fate, so I've already been working on it! Ja'far!" He was probably pointing at him. "How many complaints have you gotten about me in the weeks since the Announcement? I know I haven't been requesting any call girls recently either." There was a short silence. "Now that you mention it..." Ja'far mumbled something that Masrur explained was counting under his breath. "There were a few in the days right after, but those were about things that happen at or before the Announcement." Sharrkon wanted to cry. Or at least get a drink. Hina and Rurumu were really happy together while she was alive, and Drakon and Sahel are really happy now. Sin had gotten married by accident a few times and would always flee the morning after, but now that he wanted to get married for real, the object of his affections repeatedly turned him down. Womanizing was the problem all along. This was all Sinbad's fault! ---

~POV Sinbad~ Sinbad talked a big game to his Generals, and he meant every word. He had to completely shake those habits if he really wanted Mori to view him as an option. His original plan was to ween himself off of that vice by the time he came back from the Kou Empire. However, Fate had other plans and made him quit cold turkey early. ~flashback~ After seeing Mori recovered, the King struggled with his new intense emotions. He drank himself into a stupor, and only sobered up when the woman leaving his room said, "So... 'Mori' is the Prophet, right? You seemed really close during the festival." She giggled. "Will you just be calling us when she's on her period from now on?" The memory of his actions attacked him viciously. He had called out Mori's name multiple times. In fact, his memory told him that he thought it was his Beautiful Prophet under him in those moments thanks to the alcohol. "N-no." He shrugged her off with a smile. "This will be the last time actually." Why hadn't anyone warned him that this could happen?? "Aw~ that's a shame. I'll let the others know." Sinbad sighed in relief when she left. He knew the fear of death and injury from his adventures. He had even experienced guilt, and regret due to the weight of others' lives on his shoulders. But love was teaching him the hell of humiliation and shame. He knew that his thoughts were turning to Mori more and more at the mere idea of satisfying his libido no matter how he got there, but how could he call out their name when they weren't the one with him? Even worse, how could he mistaken anyone else for his Beautiful Prophet??? Between alcohol and sex, he knew which would be easier to quit -especially since the later would only be until he got his partner of choice to join him.

~flashback over~ At least he had the Fate scrolls to fill his suddenly empty nights for the time being. They weren't nearly as fun, but he'd rather think about the scrolls than why he had more free time. The King cleared his throat. "There shouldn't be any problem with preparing the Queen's Suite for Mori. But if you really think it will be a problem, prepare one of the rooms you've picked as a back up as well." All 3 Generals showed their disappointment, but this was one decision Sinbad wouldn't back down from. He didn't want Mori questioning the sincerity of his feelings if they were given anything less than the Queen's Suite. They were already insecure because of their ex fiancé and Sinbad's own reputation, so he would do whatever he could to remove any shadow of doubt in their mind. ---

~POV Sharrkan~ Sharrkan hit the Prophet's desk and the sound echoed in her office. She looked up shaken and stirred.

"I'll take you!" Sinbad sabotaged Sharrkan's relationship, so fuck 'im! "But I want you to fix something for me in return." If Sinbad does anything because of this it will only drive a wedge between him and 'his Beautiful Prophet.' "You gotta clear up this thing between Yam and me!" She blinked up at him a few times before jumping up. "What- Is this about the- Can we go right now??" "Yeah! Let's go!" ---

~POV Ja'far~ The General walked towards the Prophet's office only to catch a glimpse of them passing between a few book shelves in the opposite direction. "Mori! Do you have a minute?"

"Ah! Um." Mori's voice called back. They mumbled something and then appeared before him. "Yeah. What's up?"

"I wanted to read the Fate scrolls. It seems like they have been enlightening to Sin so far."

"Of course! They're your Fate too." They started to turn away. "Feel free to take them from my office. I'm on my way to a meeting, so I'm sorry I can't show you this time."

Ja'far thanked them before parting ways. It was actually better that the Prophet couldn't be there. Sinbad had mentioned that the scrolls he grabbed went up to their return to Riem which meant that the ones that remained might include the secret Sinbad was hiding -how he truly knew the risks of siding with Parthevia but agreed but agreed to buy the island anyway. The King might have admitted to that mistake, but he still refused to give details.

The scrolls had notes on the outside to explained what they covered, so Ja'far was easily able to find what he was looking for. He brought them to the guest table to unroll.

Before reading, the illustrations caught his attention. The first was of a teen Sinbad standing in front of a cage full of monsters that Ja'far recognized as victims of Parthavia's experiments. In the second, Sinbad was shocked with drawings behind him -they seemed to be depicting what Sinbad was thinking about in that moment. The biggest showed Ja'far beating sense into Sinbad under him. It looked to be around the time Sinbad was freed from slavery. Even before reading, Ja'far was getting an idea of what this was about.

What was written confirmed what Sinbad had admitted that night a month ago. He knew full well what type of person Barbarossa was, and how he treated his own people. But there was one thing Sinbad was very wrong about: his ability to read the waves had nothing to do with his decision to side with Barbarossa.

...Sinbad was desperate to reach the next step towards his dream after all of his recent failures, but he couldn't ignore the horrible truth starring him in the face. If he denied this opportunity to become King there was no telling if he'd ever get another. But if he accepted, he'd be putting everyone that trusted him at risk to the same treatment as the villagers he had left behind when he was 14. In that moment his mind was sent to the only other time he faced something similar. That time he had made the decision to accept the opportunity -risking the lives of the slave children. When he was freed before his plan even finished, he was finally safe enough to be able to see how needless their sacrifice was. There was only so much he could do to make up for his mistake though. While he struggled with the guilt of that decision he was told "Did you think you could realize your dream while keeping your hands completely clean? This is the path you chose." Ja'far had said more in the moment, but that was the line that stuck with Sinbad. If the avoidable deaths of children were something he needed to accept, than surely siding with a violent fascist was also necessary even if it would definitely lead to more victims...

"What is this??" Ja'far was shaken. He grabbed the scroll that would have the full version of the memory that apparently haunted Sinbad. The illustration that had been behind Sinbad in the previous scroll was drawn bigger in this one. He skimmed the surrounding text until he found what he was looking for.

...Sinbad had done all he could to correct his mistake. Making Madaar sign the agreement she had already promised to the Sindria Company only saved the few slaves that somehow survived the massacre. He turned to the one person present that he could rely on. Ja'far looked at him with obvious disdain. The guilt poured over into Sinbad's words, "I knew this would happen if I caused a rebellion..."

Mori wrote out Sinbad's whole self deprecating rant. He struggled to cope with the guilt that he learned from watching Madaar manipulate the vulnerable and became willing to use the exact same techniques. He lamented the irony of his actions and his goals for the future. The rant ended with Sinbad quoting to Ja'far the exact thing he said when he swore his loyalty to him.

"'If you disappoint me, I'll kill you'... I guess it'll turn out like that, huh? As I am now, I have nothing to say about it..." Ja'far had had enough of Sinbad's pitty party and punched him in the face as hard as he could (which was actually kinda impressive with their height difference at the time). "NO... THIS ISN'T A FUCKING JOKE!! SINBAD!!" It wasn't punishment enough to quell his guilt. "But I disappointed you, didn't I?" The person Sinbad disappointed the most was himself. Ja'far beat him until he lay on the ground bloodied and bruised. "What a fucking joke. Disappointed me? Yeah, you disappointed me. You'll take responsibility for everything? You're not taking responsibility for anything are you? You're letting yourself sink into despair, giving up, and, on top of that, having the nerve to act like it's all over..." Ja'far called out his bullshit. "Listen up!! IT'S YOUR NAIVETY THAT DISAPPOINTED ME THE MOST!!"

This was more like what the present Ja'far remembered. Mori wrote his full rant back at Sinbad. Why didn't Sin understand that his point was that he needed to be responsible for the survivors? Ja'far was what? 13 at the time. His wording of things wasn't great, but he had to pull Sinbad back together -Sin could have his breakdown later. Of course dirtying his hands is unavoidable sometimes. But that-

...Sinbad relented and apologized, and would never admit to the pain and guilt he held from this event ever again. He couldn't afford to disappoint everyone relying on him. He was the one chosen by 'the Magi' to become King. Sinbad grew up having to be the rock of his small village since all the men died in war, and the remaining adults were too sickly or burdened. He had long forgotten how to ask for emotional support and the the first person he tried opening up to shut down his expressions of guilt. Sinbad was unable to understand that the timing and choice of person was the problem. Those feelings would fester every time he made another mistake until he was able to fully replace his guilt with the acceptance of 'Fate' as inevitable. He wouldn't be able to acknowledge his own potential for evil for another 15~ years... If Sinbad hadn't admitted to struggling with this directly then Ja'far wouldn't have believed the opinionated portions of what the Prophet wrote. This was what Sinbad was hiding. This was why he refused to explain anything that had happened back then in detail. That last line hinted at the future they were afraid of. If Sinbad was unable to view himself as human until 15 years after that incident, it would line up perfectly with when the 2nd Calamity happens and he dies. These 2 scrolls gave more credibility to that dreaded theory. It would also explain why Mori would agree to be Sindria's Prophet and help Sinbad. Because he refused to ask for help. Because he hid his pain from the very people that swore to support him. Mori offered the help Sinbad no longer knew how to ask for because she already knew he needed it. Mori was the only one able to get Sinbad to defend that he wanted to change a part of how he did things because she was the only one that knew what parts he meant and what not changing would lead to. He needed to talk to Sinbad. Ja'far grabbed all of the remaining Fate scrolls and headed to out to have a very important conversation with the man he had sworn his life to. ((HiHi!! This past round was pretty okay for me :D I only had a small disability ep! Here's hoping this stays the pattern for a while :3 But even better than that is: While working on the next arc (specifically ch42) I hit a new level of healing from my PTSD with my ex. :D I literally felt my brain rewiring when it happened and recognized it from past times it's happened. For the week afterward I was unable to stop being stupid levels of happy. And now I'm frustrate with Mori because they aren't past it yet XD At least I know what I needed so I can write it))

[bangtaninborderland]

JHS: Twisted Feelings

Summary: After working at an award show for 2 years everything had become normal, idols were no longer exciting to see, performances became dull and every day blended together, that was until an unexpected man asked for your help.

Genre: idolljhope x fem!reader, angst, fluff, strangers to lovers, ongoing series

Warning: none for this chapter!

A/N: l i in no way own bts and this is purely a story of fiction! Please as always share your thoughts and leave a like if you enjoy! Thank you for reading my work and I hope you all have a beautiful day! I will take stabled and request/questions for this couple! If you’d like to be tagged as new chapters come out please let me know!

Ch.01 < Series Masterlist > Ch.03

It had been a week since your first encounter with Hoseok and Namjoon, Na-Rae had asked a thousand questions and by now everyone in the office had heard about it, people you had never interacted with had even began to ask you what it was like to be in the same room with you and as always you gave the standard answer of “It was fine just like with any other idols.”

You couldn’t have been more excited for today to have come, it was Thursday, the one day you got to have off work, or so you thought until your work phone rang. Usually you’d ignore it but seeing as it was your managers name flashing up on the screen it wasn’t something you wanted to make a fuss out of.

You let out a breathe of air before answering. “Hello?”

“Ah finally I was afraid you’d be sleeping all day.” Your manager scoffs, you can practically hear her rolling her eyes.

“It’s my day off today, is there something I can help with?” You try your best to sound friendly but this week had already been stressful enough.

“I had a call from a manager in the hybe building asking if you’d mind coming in for a meeting. I told them it was your day off but they insisted that it was a meeting you should attend.” She hummed the other end of the phone.

It was rare for a translator to be called in to a company, you’d be lying if you said you wasn’t curious. “What time?”

Ji-sung laughed. “I thought you’d respond with that, be here by 12. I’ll let them know you agreed.”

You said your goodbyes and hung up the phone, you had wanted to say no but as always your curiosity won. You threw the scrunched up sheets off your body before heading towards the shower.

You wasn’t sure what the meeting was about or who it was with but either way you didn’t want to seem unprofessional.

It didn’t take you long to finish getting ready and leave, thankfully the building you worked at wasn’t too far and you enjoyed the walk.

Na-Rae and Ji-sung were waiting in the reception for you.

“You took so long.”

You shot a glare at Na-Rae who silently laughed at her own comment. You would get her back for it later.

“This way.” You follow your manager into the same room you had gone into the day you had your first interview for the job here.

Although Ji-sung wasn’t the youngest she was definitely well for her age, her fast pace nearly put you to shame, you had never been one for physical activity.

You watched as she reached for the handle to the door and you knew this would be your last chance to ask. “Sajangnim, do you know exactly what this is about? I didn’t want to be rude and decline but it is my day off.”

“I believe it’s about the people you met last week, come to my office whenever you’re done.” You bow to her as she leaves, you push the door open only to be met with a familiar smiling face.

“Thank you for meeting with us today.” The unfamiliar man greeted you, his hand pointing towards an empty chair.

You greet him quickly before taking a seat. “It’s my pleasure.”

“You’re probably guessing why I asked to meet with you.” You turn your head towards him and he gives you a soft smile.

“Yes I am.” You agreed.

You watch as the man you guess to be another manager slides a document towards you. “The last time I was here we talked about how I wanted to learn English, I’d like you to teach me.”

“You’d what?” Your widened your eyes shocked at the sudden proposal, you was sure if you had a mouthful of water you would have done a spit take.

“I think you’d be great.” He says again, his voice quieter this time.

You look over the document, it was a full job offer, employee benefits, shift times, pay rates, everything. “Hoseok-ssi I already have a job.”

You watch as the smile on his face fades a little, his eyes flick towards the other man. “We spoke to your manager, she said your contract would be up within the year.”

You nod towards him. “Yes that’s true but I was planning to renew it or maybe take some time to write, I really don’t think I’d be any good at teaching.” You explain, surely this wasn’t really happening.

“Well don’t decide right now, take the contract home, read it, think about it and call the number on the contact sheet when you decide.” Hoseok looks at you as he speaks, his eyes fixed on yours. You didn’t get any easily but it was impossible to deny that he was good looking.

You thought for a moment, they was right about your contract ending soon and as much as you wanted to write you knew you wouldn’t have the money to do it. Teaching Hoseok would be double the pay you get now, you’d be stupid to completely decline without at least considering it and talking to your parents.

“I’ll think about it, is there a deadline I need to have an answer for?” Your question is directed towards the other man but for some reason your eyes find themselves stuck on Hoseok.

“I’ll give you a week to decide, that should be enough time for you to have all your necessary discussions. The number on the contact list is mine, I’m Kim Jaesang.” He points to the paperwork in your hand and you nod at him.

Before you could respond the older man’s phone begins to vibrate, he looks at you both before excusing himself leaving you and Hoseok in the room alone.

“Are you ready for the awards on Saturday?” He asks, his gaze settling onto your hands.

You nod at him. “My part is all finished, I could ask you the same thing.”

He laughs lightly as he begins to respond. “It always feels different retuning to the stage after a break but in a way it’s like a home away from home, I can’t wait to see Army.”

“That’s your fans name right?” You ask, wanting to at least seem interested, the truth being you wasn’t.

You watch as the small smile turns into a wide grin across his face “More like family.”

“That’s sweet. It’s great to see that you care for them, most idols aren’t as sincere.” You explain, although it seemed like a harsh comment it was true.

“Me and the others we always try to be as honest as we can be. We can’t share everything but we try to not hide things either. Army supports us so it’s only right we do the same.”

You could see the passion in his eyes and in all honesty it made you respect him more, to be at the top and still care for the people who got you there is a honourable thing. You would need twenty hands to count how many times you had heard idols bashing their fans.

“Hoseok-ssi I was wondering why you chose me for this, I mean I have no teaching qualifications?” You ask, your eyes fixed on the document.

He lets out a breath. “I think you’re kind and you didn’t make me feel like an idol, only like a person.”

“You are a person.” You laugh.

“I am but most of the time people don’t see me as Hoseok they see me as Jhope a member of BTS. You was more focused on getting your job right then impressing me and Namjoon and that doesn’t happen often either.” You watch as he spins the ring on his finger.

You didn’t know if it was nerves or a habit but It wouldn’t be the first time an idol got married and hid it.

“I can understand that somewhat, I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to be seen as an image rather than a human but me working is different, that doesn’t mean I’ll be good at teaching you English and I wouldn’t want to be responsible for teaching you badly.” You sigh.

“I don’t think you’ll teach me badly and if it doesn’t work out you won’t be forced to stay, the contract is flexible so you’ll have time to write if you wanted too. We already have a translator but there’s 7 of us and she can’t be with each of us at a time so maybe you could do that too, we could all have a meeting if you’d like?” You didn’t want to laugh but the way he rushed the words out was cute.

“I need a little time to think about it but I will definitely consider it.” You finish your sentence just as the door open and Jaesung walks back in.

“Everything okay in here?” He asks closing the door behind him.

“Yes it’s great, I have to go and talk to my manager but it’s been great meeting you and thank you for this opportunity, I’ll let you know by next week.” You quickly say your goodbyes before leaving Hoseok and Jaesung in the room.

The day had already seemed long and you could practically hear your bed calling your name. You headed towards your managers office successfully making it half way before Na-Rae managed to stop you.

“What happened in there?” She asked rocking back on her heels.

You rolled your eyes at her pulling her aside away from the other staff. “They offered me a job to teach one of the members English.”

“THEY WHAT?” You winced as Na-rae screamed.

“Shush!!” You whisper in a hushed voice pushing your hand over her mouth.

“I’m sorry, I just… wow.. that’s amazing” you heard her mumble, thankful she had quietened.

“It could be but I didn’t accept I told them I’d think about it.” You explained flashing the contract at her.

She hit your arm and you jumped back. “Hey! What was that for?”

“You have the greatest opportunity and you told them you’d think about it? Did you trip and loose brain cells today?” She asks, her eyes wide.

“No but I have more than just me to consider, I have to talk to eomma and appa about it. I can’t just accept a job that comes with both travel and a move.” You reason with her.

She stands still for a moment before sighing. “You’re right but this would give you time to write, I’m guessing you’d get more money there too.”

“Money isn’t everything.” You remind her and she rolls her eyes.

“Money isn’t everything oh I’m so special.” She dramatically copies you and giggle.

She leans forward, her eyes trying to read the contract. “So what member was it?”

You pull it closer to you and slap her hand away. “I’m going to find Ji-sung before she pulls her hair out waiting.”

“Yeah she’s scary enough as she is, I think I’d have nightmares if she was bald too.” You don’t know wether to laugh or take her words seriously but either way you don’t pay them too much attention.

You give her a quick hug before continuing your journey “I’ll call you later.”

“You better!” She shouts back as the elevator doors close.

You wasn’t a fan of elevators, you had gotten stuck in one as a kid but for once you was happy to be inside of one away from everyone and everything. Even just for a few seconds.

You took a deep breath just as the doors opened, the top floor only had offices for the most important people at the company, your manager included. You knocked on her door and waited to be called in.

“So what happened.” She asked, pressing her hands together on top of her desk.

You bored to her before taking a seat. “They offered me a job but I’m guessing you knew that because they knew my contract would end in a few months.”

She nods at you. “It’s because your contract is nearly over that I’m going to say this to you, you work hard, you’re smart and your degree and experience is far higher than this place requires, you settled for this job. You can and should do more, I made sure they would pay you more than we can here.”

“But why?” You ask, confused.

“Because I’m going to be leaving next year too, you do the jobs of everyone in your section, along with your own. You’re great at your job but you’re wasting your time here.” She looks at you, her face more serious now then ever.

“Thank you Sajangnim. I don’t know what to do.” You tell her.

“Im not telling you this as your manager but I think you should take it but do it for yourself. If you decide you want to take it there’s another translator who handed in their application a few days ago, they can take over your role. Take tomorrow off and have a think” She explains, settling one of your worries.

“I’m going to have a think about it but thank you for recommending me for the job.” You turn to leave before you hear her clear her through.

“Oh I didn’t recommend you y/n, Hoseok called in here asking for you.” You turned to see her smiling, nodding towards the door.

You didn’t say anything further before leaving, it wasn’t until you was outside that you felt like you could breathe again, had you really been that nervous?

The words of everyone swirled around your mind and for once you had no idea what to do, so you called the one person you knew would be there no matter what.

The phone rings twice before the call connect.

“Eomma I have a situation, I’m coming home.”

[canonicallyobserving911]

Seven Several Sentences Sunday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

In Chapter 12, "Petty Eddie" & "Jealous Buck" make their comebacks.

I’m working on Chapter 12 again and my goal is to post it within the next few days. But now that Buck and Eddie are in a romantic relationship, things get even more interesting as Jealous Buck and Petty Eddie return.

Chapter 12 - Will be posted soon.

“I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Currently 11 chapters completed: 296.3K Words Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

___________

Here are two snippets from Chapter 12: one for Jealous Buck and one for Petty Eddie.

___________

Jealous Buck

In a voice filled with venom, he responds, “Rosen?”

Eddie raises his eyebrows.  “Yeah, you know Julie because she’s worked with A-shift before.”

“Well…”  He trails off because he’s trying not to get jealous but he knows he passed the jealousy stage a few minutes ago and now the green-eyed monster is whispering in his ear saying, "She’ll probably try to hit on Eddie" and he thinks fuck that because he waited six damn years to be with him and no one is going to come between them especially not Julie Rosen.

He figures he’s been quiet for too long when he hears Eddie calling his name.

“Buck?  Buck?”

“Uh… yeah, sorry… I’m still listening.”

“Ok.  I asked you to tell me what you were going to say.”

“Nothing!”

“Buck… just say it.”

“Never mind.”

“Julie is a good paramedic and she’s played poker with me, Captain Mehta and Chief Williams several times.  We’re friends.”

The more Eddie talks, the more the green-eyed monster whispers to him that he’s going to lose Eddie to someone else.  Logically he knows that’s not going to happen but like Elvis Presley, logical Buck has left the building and he’s being replaced by jealous Buck.  He already didn’t like the fact that Eddie was hanging out with her and he didn’t know about it and now Eddie was trapped in an ambulance with her during his shift. 

“She is but just don’t…”

“Don’t what?”

“Never mind, it’s nothing.”

Is Buck going to tell Eddie why he doesn’t want him working with Julie? 👀

_________

Petty Eddie

When Connor looks up, he sees Eddie and he’s startled because he assumed Buck would be here alone.

“Uh… hi.”  Connor reluctantly greets.

If Eddie felt like smiling, he would but he doesn’t since he knows a snake when he sees one and the pettiness he hasn’t displayed in months makes a dramatic appearance because he can tell just by looking at Connor that he’s up to no good.

He stands up, walks over to face him then says, “We haven’t formally met but I’m Eddie Diaz, Buck’s boyfriend.”

“Uh… no we haven’t.  I’m Connor… me and Buck were roommates…”

Eddie interrupts him because he has lots of pettiness for Connor’s trifling ass.  “That’s right, you haven’t been roommates with Buck in more than six years and yet… that still didn’t stop you from asking him for his bodily fluids.”

“Well…”  Connor replies.

Since he looks sheepish and like he wants to run in the other direction, Eddie’s initial impression of him is confirmed.  He knew when Connor showed up at the firehouse unannounced to pressure Buck that he was nothing but a user and a person who wants to take advantage of people.  But he won’t have the chance to do that to Buck anymore since they're in a relationship.

There’s an awkward and loud silence that fills the room until Connor looks at Buck then asks, “Can we talk in private?”

“No, whatever you have to say to me… you can say it in front of Eddie.  We don’t have any secrets and he already knows about the sperm donation, the lawsuit and everything else.”  He motions to one of the bar stools then says, “If you’d like to have a seat… you can tell both of us why you called me even after my lawyer told your lawyer to cease all contact.”

Connor sits at the end of the counter while Eddie and Buck sit at the other end.

After a few seconds, Connor looks around and Buck supposes he notices how barren the loft is.  “Are you moving?”

“That’s none of your concern.”  Eddie replies.

Will Connor tell Buck why he asked to see him or will he chicken out since Eddie’s there too? 👀

___________

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-11 are available on AO3.

Continue reading on AO3

[greypetrel]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @theluckywizard for the tag! It's been fun to compile :3

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 6

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 356,534 (from last October. It's higher since I haven't upload a lot of ficlets I wrote here, oops)(But! it's my AO3 birthday, yeeeeh!)

3. what fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age, there's a crossover with LOTR/Silmarillion. I don't know if I'll ever write anything solely on Tolkien lore, I tend to reason per OCs in stories and I feel slightly bad in treating other's characters as my own.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos? - Home Was Never On The Ground (CullenxLavellan, long fic)(also known as Monster Fic) - She of Many Names (CullenxLavellan, a Dragon Age and LOTR - crossover) - The Night Before First Day (Some CullenxLavellan but very on the sidelines. it's Solas acting as Santa. And it rhymes.) - One For the Road (FenrisxLavellan, Angst is over 9000, 2 chapters.) - Death and All of His Friends (HawkexMerrillxIsabela, I'll get on with it but everything is on hold because I want to get Monster fic done before the year ends)

5. do you respond to comments? Oh yes, of course! Jumping on my seat and being very happy about it. I'm wordy, so chances are that comments will be answered with more lore.

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Death and All of His Friends, right now.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The Night Before First Day.

8. do you get hate on fics? Not that I know of. The worst hate I got in the fandom were some assholes who commented on an adoribull fanart here on Tumblr. I didn't want to learn how to say "F*ggot" in Russian, but I did. They didn't expect me to understand and reply in Russian, and they never got back.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? … Tried to. I'm self-conscious about my writing, so it never got posted. I don't know if it ever will. It was just to see if I could, but for now I'd rather keep it personal.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes! I love making connections between things and fiction and see similarities and who inspired some others. I have She of Many Names, which is a Dragon Age with Lord of the Rings crossover. There's some Silmarillion, but as long as highlighting characters background goes. A person on Instagram commented on one artwork of my Lavellan (miss cinnamon "I cry if you tell me that there are kittens under the rain" roll) asking me if she was Sauron. I laughed so art imagining her as an evil overlady that I HAD TO write it. "It's all a big misunderstanding".

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? I haven't, but I'd love to!

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship? You'll pry HawkexMerrillxIsabela from my cold, dead hands. HawkexFenris has the best ANGST. FaramirxEowyn. Been there since I was 10, will probably die on that hill. I see the fascination of Solavellan, but Cullavellan is there above, of course. And, MaharielxMorrigan. I am surely forgetting something, but it's one case of "I am asked what's my favourite movie and suddenly my brain thinks we never saw ONE movie in our life".

OH OH OH EnjolrasxGrantaire. I SAID IT.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I have another chapter half blorted down for One For the Road but I'm not feeling it. It's sliding towards a triangle and it's losing all the appeal to me.

16. what are your writing strengths? Oh shit, that's difficult ahahahahahah. As above, I'm self conscious about my prose. I'll try, tho.

Dialogue (been writing my own comics for years, those are just dialogue. I have exercise on that, ahahahah)

… angsty, emotional scenes?

People crying. watches Aisling

17. what are your writing weaknesses? Language and mispellings. English is not my first language, and as every person who speaks more than one, I have a very confused brain. I re-read my own writing again but there's always something missing. I also tend to write prose without a precise plan: I started writing fanfiction after YEARS of not writing prose after some comments that caught me in a moment when I was particularly fragile and convinced me my prose was never going to be ok. In order to ease me back into it, I started writing Monster Fic purposefully without a plan of action or a plotline not to stress myself too much and convince my brain it's just a hobby to relax. It worked, but in long fics I prefer having plans, I read it again and I think it shows that there's little planning ahead. When synthesis ability was being distributed, I was trying to pet a dog.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Uh, English not being my first language counts? xD Beside that: I wrote some SIMPLE lines in wannabe-Latin, some words here and there in French. If it's something long, tho, I'm against it. Personal preference, I'd rather have my readers understand what's being said if it's important, rather than showing that I know more than one language. Personal preference, I also tend not to like movies that are all done in dead languages that nobody speaks, with subtitle. Glad the writer can master ancient Latin, here's a cookie, now what.

19. first fandom you wrote for? … Inuyasha in middle school. I drew small comics for my friends over it. And, I drew a parody comic of the Iliad in my first year of high school, which is the first fandom with a COMPLETED fic.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written? … Still with the difficult questions AHAHAHAHAHAH. These two because I got to use friends' blorbos and I was so nervous but also had the best of times: - Three Cards Trick [ Maria Hawke becomes the official third Science Sibling. They adopt a skeleton. ] - Saving Grace [ Aisling as a companion for Kerry Hawke in DA2. She refuses to pay for elfroot, but will find a way to acquire "some" from the Templars. ]

- Could be Worse. [ Mahariel, Morrigan, and Aisling becomes Ghost Hunters in modern time New York. It should have been a scam. ] I live for quotations and it set my head on fire and it's yet another modern AU I'll get back to sooner or later.

- Death and all of His Friends. [ Raina Hawke, human disaster but mildly successfull trash raccoon, fucks up royally at the end of Act 2.] Originally prompted by salsedine but I'm linking the polished AO3 version. Raina Hawke won the lottery of having issues similar to mine, and writing her has always some form of therapy. But I did it, I like the three parts, and I completed it and posted it anyway.

- Not the Years but the Mileage. [ Booby traps in the Temple of Mythal. Cullen breaks stuff that should be in a museum. ] And this one because again, quotings. Arbor Wilds (that mission is flawed, but the environment? Not.). And that piece of dialogue where Aisling can't talk and Cullen just understands her mumbling.

- Something Fishy. [ Raina and Garrett Hawke, loyal knights at the court of the Red King of Amaranthine, gets sent on a... Fishy mission.] This was probably the funniest to write, and nothing. I thrive in angst or in absurd crack fics, and this by now is my peak crack.

... I wrote for years and I hope it was remotely interesting.

TAGGING BACK: @shivunin @ndostairlyrium @heniareth @oxygenforthewicked @rosella-writes @scribbledquillz @star--nymph @zenstrike and YOU who are reading.

[depraved-gf]

How fitting that I would write this exactly two months to the day after I went no contact with this boy. Hm.

Well. You all requested the story of the last boy I ever had feelings for. So buckle up. It's worth it to note that I have BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), so while I do have a Fearful Avoidant attachment style, if I do happen to find that rare attachment, my feelings can get intense and happen very quickly. I don't get to choose it, but sometimes my BPD can also latch onto someone and make them what's called a Favorite Person (FP).

An FP to someone with BPD is like looking up at God. It can be anyone. You see, an FP can do no wrong, even if they do. You attach to them, connection wise, emotionally, spiritually, and they're your every waking thought. It's toxic for both parties. And for someone with BPD, forcing yourself to detach from an FP feels like LITERAL death.

I've only had 2 of them, including this boy. The one before him was my toxic ex of 14 years. Yes... 14 years, I stayed with my last FP. Do you see why an FP can be detrimental?

Anyway. I met this boy online. We'll call him J.

Y'see, I post on occasion to NSFW reddit. I began doing this after my big breakup to see if someone like me could ever be desirable. Again... This was a very long and neglectful relationship. I've posted on and off, but back in late September, I was posting while I was still FtM (Female-to-Male) and transitioning. This matters.

I received a chat request from this guy. I looked at his profile. Really liked what I saw. Saw that he commented often on another FtM's profile, thus making him okay with my transitioning body - a big plus and a nice refuge from the constant misgendering and need for a "female body."

J messaged me kindly enough. He didn't immediately sexualize me. I mean, he did, but it was welcomed and as expected on NSFW reddit. But he was kind about it. Even funny, really.

I initially didn't respond all that much. A couple times every few days, maybe. In a sea of messages, I don't often have a lot of energy to respond. But it wasn't long when I got the message, "so, if we're going to talk [like this], I may as well get to know the person behind the pics, right?" and proceeded to ask about me. My interests. My favorite things. [Note: I wish I still had the account, but I deleted it entirely so I wouldn't continue to hurt myself while looking back at these messages. I only have the meaningful screenshots left.]

So we talked.

A lot. A lot, a lot, a lot. We got to know each other. Sexted. Made personal videos for one another. And went right back to talking normally. All day, everyday. He lived 3 hours away. I learned that he was the 4th of 12 kids, and he learned that I lost my eldest brother to drugs. I learned his favorite color was purple and he learned mine is nature green. We both were heavily abused in past relationships and never knew what it felt like to be loved or cared for. We both gamed, we enjoyed the same hobbies. He ensured to always ask if he was crossing any gender boundaries, asked me what I preferred to be called, always, always was so considerate towards my transition.

We agreed to talk more and become FWBs. But both of us were so shy and fearful of meeting since we'd never met anyone from online before, so we agreed to talk a little longer. J is the most shy, yet arrogant man I've ever met lmao. [Just my type. Shame on me. I love a god complex.]

Days passed. A week. Two. All day, everyday, J and I would talk. And once I started feeling a little dysphoric about being male, he very quickly switched over to using my preferred pronouns and pet names. It was seamless, and something I never experienced before.

He encouraged me to be the best version of myself. I encouraged him to get back into streaming on twitch, his past relationships always making him quit or mocking him for doing it.

We sent face pictures after being shy. We sent voice notes. He made it a game to try guessing my deadname (with my permission), and when I told him he had to guess extremely early-mid 90s names, he sent me more voice notes. [These, I do still have]. "It's Katherine. No? Okay, dammit. I'm going to get this, Isa, mark my words. [The next day, another voice note.] So I was actually thinkin' about it ALL DAY, but I kinda don't wanna say my next guess because it's gonna be kinda awkward if it's right- [second voice message after I encouraged him to say it] -*a smile in his voice* No, Isa, I do not have the voice of a Greek god, leave me alone *laughs* you're just tryna make me all smiley and shit, motherfucker. Okay, so I was thinkin' it's Samantha, 'cause that's a super 90s ass name, right?"

He had told me I had the voice of an angel and I told him he had the voice of a Greek god. [And tumblr, he did. Ohhhh, he did. Just hearing them again to type it out gave me full body chills. Ugh.]

He trusted me when his aunt unalived herself. Vented to me, said he wanted to take time for himself but that he just couldn't stay away from talking to me, explaining that he didn't even trust his best friends with the grisly details of her death because it was so bad.

I'd also occasionally get 3am messages saying he's thinking about me.

Or little things like, "I can't talk to anyone like I talk to you, Isa." Or while he was driving to work, he'd send me sky pictures since he lives in rural [state], knowing I sort of miss the pretty country skies. "It's so pretty out today, nothing compared to you, though." or-

He'd keep sayin' real cutesy shit like that for a FWB. But then, he asked me to send a few songs his way that would generally explain my music taste. This was the kicker - I was raised in a full musicians household. Music is quite literally my life. It's my home. My sanctuary. So when I sent him over my songs, thinking he'd never heard of my shit, he sent back the same shit. And we agreed to go see August Burns Red in early December. Our first meeting was going to be a concert for a band we both loved. [Yes. Ouch, in hindsight. I ended up not going, obviously.]

So the mf made me a whole playlist on Spotify since it's what I use. And I made him one on YouTube premium since it's what he used. And I shit you not, it's just about the same fucking music. Really freaked me out but in the best way.

Then... After more days passed, I had a really, really bad night. Y'see, I suffer from gallbladder issues from my very fluctuating weight throughout my life. I have EDs (eating disorders) - I've been in the 80lb category before, and I've also been up in the 280s. I've not been kind to my body and this is my payment. One night, I had a particularly bad episode. If you've never had a gallbladder attack, imagine the most intense pain you've ever experienced - now, take it and form it into a very sharp, spiky, WAY too small rubber band, and wrap it around your entire abdomen across your sternum and around your back. Deal with that 12/10 pain for a full day, nothing touching it, and then deal with the aftershocks of it for a full week after. [I have doctor phobia. Leave me alone. I manage.]

I had a particularly bad attack, and J was there. We hadn't done much else except talk on reddit and occasionally snap or text and send cute voice notes. But that night, he remembered that I mentioned finding comfort when my ex would play games while I was sick. I love to watch people play games if I'm not the one actually playing for once. It relaxes me. It reminds me of the simpler times when my brother and I would stay up and play Final Fantasy until the early morning hours. J did something I didn't expect, though - on Discord, he offered to call me while he played his game before he had to stream with his friends. We hadn't talked on the phone before this, both of us just far too shy and afraid to fuck it up.

But he did. He called me. And it was awkward, and it was adorable, and so, so endearing. It comforted me through the immense, blinding pain. It didn't seem so bad when I had that voice comforting me in my ears.

He even stayed on a little later and made his friends wait to ensure I was comfortable, before he hung up to stream. And even then, this man had always been so good about texting during his game even when I told him to "focus, dummy!<3." I turned on his stream after that and I fell asleep to his voice. In what was once searing pain, I managed to fall asleep.

But y'see, J wasn't just super sweet. He was possessive. When I posted on reddit, he'd always tell me how jealous he got that I was talking to others, even passively in my comments. Again, a huge turn on for me. He told me I was his. That he'd come show me who I belonged to.

Eventually... We confessed that we had feelings for one another. "You got me actin crazy, I've never given out my number to anyone online, I be thinkin' about you at 4am all the time, workin' to keep you around... I'd say I prolly do [have feelings]."

It got serious after that when he confessed it truthfully without jokes. That one is for me.

Oh, and here's me, in all my flirtatiously awkward glory:

What a surprise, Isa doesn't know how to flirt.

But... Some things didn't add up after a while. He didn't like to snap much, instead opting to remain on reddit. He kept making the time to meet later and later, eventually saying he likely wouldn't be able to come up until late January, and this was mid-October. I expressed my concern on the matter, saying that I understood his hesitation if he wanted to take time, but also that I was admittedly upset after I was the one who already bought our tickets and accommodations and shit. And it seemed to be fine. "Aight listen, you're right, I'm sorry. There really is no reason, I was just scared of fuckin' this up. If my babygirl wants to see me sooner, then imma make it work. ABR [August Burns Red] it is, send me the ticket again." [<- REMEMBER THIS!!!]

Then, we'd get into tiny little spats.... Where he'd then say shit like, "well it's not like we know each other, goddamn." And be immediately cool with ending it.

But then he'd apologize for acting up. "If I'm acting dumb just tell me and I'll act right"

It was small things at first. Then he suddenly started getting distant.

I wouldn't hear from him a whole lot. And so when I communicated and asked him what was up, October 19th, he finally spoke up and said he was angry that I made him feel forced and rushed to come see me.

And y'know what I did?

I apologized. Cried to him. Begged him to stay and that I'd be better. Felt like such a shit person for making him feel forced, even though I went back much later into the messages and saw that I was extremely understanding about his anxiety, and only upset about the plans after he had me buy the tickets/accommodations.

Looking back, it wasn't my responsibility to read through the lines of him retracting back to agreeing to go. And it ended up being a cop out. [I'm getting to this. Just trust me.]

So we talked normally after that. Even sorta flirted like normal, but it was strained. You could tell.

"Makin' me do the lil smiley thing again" he said to our little Mr. Miyagi banter. [An inside thing...]

October 21st, though.

9pm.

"Isa. I wasn't going to tell you this, but you deserve to know.

I learned about a week ago that I got my girlfriend pregnant. And ion wanna keep doin this shit with you if imma make it right. No reason we can't still be friends tho?"

...what- HUH?!

My heart exploded. I couldn't breathe. I tried so hard to physically hold myself together where it felt like my core was going to snap in half. I was dying. Dying. DYING.

He explained that he was planning to break up with her for a while because it began as a drug relationship and they don't really talk since he got clean, but that she's very volatile and he's afraid of what she'd do if he left.

I simply wished him well and went no contact.

I was dying. Dying. DYING.

I watched his streams just to hear his voice one more time. I listened to the voice notes. I needed him. I craved him.

Pleasecomebackpleasecomebackpleasecomeback

I did my own research. Turns out they were engaged.

I was dying. Dying. DYING.

I drank myself to near death. Jameson Black Barrel Whiskey will never taste the same. Countless hours spent venting to my poor roommate. Yelling. Screaming. Feeling hollow. Empty. Dead.

He was my FP, and now he was dead.

...............

About a month later, mid-November, I got a reddit message. "Is it bad that I still come to your page to check on you?"

My response was surface level. I wasn't strong enough not to respond yet. But I did leave him on read after that. "Well, you know I'll always be a fan of you."

Maybe 2 weeks later, I had seen that he was streaming with a camera on this time. I watched him. The way he carries himself, his voice, his mannerisms. I was okay for the most part, but it was bittersweet. Like an old flame.

I saw him look down at his phone, and Bing! My phone went off.

"I see you on stream 👀"

And he got visibly more excited. Animated with the game. More talkative and smiley.

And then I left. I deserved that power play. And I haven't been back.

I deleted my reddit account after that. Didn't want to look back. Didn't want the memories. Started up my backup.

And last night, at 2am, I got a chat request from a familiar name.

And here we are.

I still think about him at least a couple times a day, but it's fleeting. Like looking back at an old flame, like I said before.

I learned that situationship breakups hurt worse than relationship breakups do, because you weren't able to see the bad side of it yet.

But oh, me.

Boys, boys, boys.

Y'all drive me fuckin' crazy.

So, here's to you, J.

[idlestxrs]

Western Nights (Part 1) | Spike Spiegel x Reader

Genre : Angst, Romance, Runaway

Warning(s) : Swearing, Violence, Stalking, Blood, Kidnapping.

Summary : You’re on the run from your small town. Freeing yourself of your religious cult, or so you thought as you caught news they were hunting after you. As you’re on your escape, you run into Spike Spiegel, and once push led to shove you knew you’d never be the same.

Note : This is somewhat inspired by Ethel Cain’s album, Preacher’s Daughter. However it won’t follow that story, just the religious aspects of it. I suggest giving it a listen! It’s a masterpiece.

You had been on the run for what seemed like forever. Long enough to have made it from Nebraska to Texas. Gas stations were your best friend. Only the ones with showers for travelers. You had been saving up money for over a year now to make this bold move, and paying for a stay in a hotel would’ve zapped it all in 3 days.

You found a train station that had tickets straight to California. That’s where you always wanted to go, but the ticket would cost half of your money. Being left with $100 to survive on after getting there didn’t sound very…appealing or manageable. Then again after phoning your friend Nathanial and finding out that people from that cult were hunting you down and planned on hanging you upon bringing you back there, sounded a lot less appealing.

You bit the bullet. “One ticket to California please.” You asked the lady in the booth. You coughed up the money. “The next train won’t be here until 10:30 tonight toots.” The lady spoke, her voice was raspy probably due to all the cigarettes she smoked.

You looked up at the clock…it was only 12:00 in the afternoon. You groaned as you sat down in the lobby with the few belongings you brought with you. You sat back on the wooden bench seating, staring at the grey, cracked ceiling. The place had dim florescent lighting, in reality the sun beaming through the windows did more than the lights themselves.

You couldn’t help but find a strange sense of serenity in it, and sighed. The feeling of being alone was scary yet satisfying at the same time. Nobody to tell you who you should be, but nobody to tell you everything is going to be ok either. Except yourself. You learned a lot about yourself on this journey so far. After everything you’d been through, finally felt content with yourself despite being totally alone. Sure there were people hunting you down, but they always thought you wanted to go to Florida. If anything they’d just lead themselves on the complete opposite end of the country and give up. You realized you could be a lot smarter than what you gave yourself credit for.

Your thoughts eventually blurred together leading you to feel drowsy, passing out on your bag next to you. You weren’t sure how much time went by before getting woken up by a poke on the shoulder. A man with messy black, green tinted hair stood in front of you. As you looked around, you noticed the place had suddenly filled up. Your eyes got a glimpse of the clock…2:00, dammit. You sat up and grabbed your bag, yawning. “Good nap?” The man asked with a slight smile on his face. “Decent.” You responded through another yawn. The man chuckled and spoke once again. “Mind if I take this seat next to you?” You sat your bag on the floor beside you, allowing him to sit. “Not like you had any other options.” You replied, giggling a bit yourself. He shrugged and sat down next to you. “There were some other options, but you seemed like the most pleasant person to sit next to.” He smiled and looked over at you. “So where are you headed?” He inquired. “Somewhere.” You responded dully. You weren’t sure why he’d come be so friendly with you, but your paranoia spiked in this moment. You didn’t want to risk anything at all.

He raised an eyebrow at your response. “Well…I’m headed to California. On my journey to the west! My name’s Spike, by the way. Spike Spiegel.” He shot you a big smile. You smiled back at him. “Y/N. I’m headed to California too.” You weren’t sure why you told him that. Your paranoid mind told you no, but something in your gut spoke for you. He seemed trustworthy. He’d find out you were going to the same place when you boarded the train anyway, so it really didn’t matter if you’d told him or not. Might as well be friendly.

“You know…our train doesn’t get here for another 7 hours.” He said with the hint of an idea in his voice. You hadn’t even realized you both had been talking for an hour straight. “Why don’t we go to the café downtown? It’s only about a 10 minute walk there.” Spike suggested. “Why not. It’s better than sitting and staring at the wall.” You sighed and stood up. As you both walked for the door, Spike sped up and opened it for you. “After you.” He said with cheesy grin on his face. “What a gentleman.” You weren’t as amused as he was, and all he did was laugh. “So, what set your sights on California?” Spike asked you as you both were walking down the brick sidewalk of the small down. Small business to window shop in littered the path to the Cafe, and it was times like these you wish you had more money. “To get away from my small town back in Nebraska.” Spike raised his eyebrow at your response. “Too small of a town for your liking or what?” He inquired. “To get away from the religion I was brought up in. It was cultish and there really wasn’t any other way out then to get shunned out of town, or get murdered before you got shunned. I’d been planning this for years.” You take a deep breath before letting out a deep sigh. “I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this. I just met you.” You stared at the ground, a feeling of guilt washing over you for suddenly dumping all this on the stranger who was starting to feel like less of one. A look of concern washed over Spike’s face. “Don’t apologize, really! If everyone in your town is like that I doubt you’ve really had the chance to get any of this off your chest to anyone without the fear of it coming back to bite you in the ass later.” He paused for a second, then suddenly his concern turned into shock. “Okay so wait. You ran all the way here to Texas from Nebraska?” All you did was nod, gesturing towards your backpack. “Wow...you’re a really strong willed person. I admire that.” He grinned. For the first time in your life, you felt like someone actually meant what they said about you. For you, and not some fake persona you put up to survive. “I really appreciate that.” Your voice seeped of a deep feeling of gratitude. You smiled back at him, and right after that you were walking up a small set of steps. You had made it to the Cafe. “After you.” Spike held the door open for you again. “Thanks.” You smiled at him again as you walked in. “Spike! It’s great to see you again!” The girl standing in front of the cash register shouted. It made you feel a lot more at ease about Spike considering people in the community liked him. Normally that would be a bad thing. Preacher’s usually were held to high esteem back in your town but were the most evil people in the town, but Spike was obviously a free spirited person. Free spirits that are well-liked are typically amazing people, or whatever that book you read back at home said. “Tabitha!” Spike called out. “Always a pleasure to see you too.” He smiled. “I’ll just get my usual. And whatever my new friend here wants.” He motioned to you and pointed at the menu. “I’ll just get the plain black coffee. It’s cheaper.” You spoke to the bubbly girl taking your order. “Don’t worry about the price, it’s on me.” Spike spoke up. “No. I appreciate it but I’ll pay for my own.” You attempted to convince him, but it really wasn’t any use. “You worked so hard to get here. At the very least you deserve whatever coffee you want. I’ve got plenty of money right now. I insist” He wasn’t going to give this up. “Fine I’ll get the cinnamon latte.” You quietly spoke. “Now that’s more like it.” He gave his signature cheesy grin and a thumbs up. You’d known him for what...4 hours now? Yet you already were familiar with one of his expressions. You’ve always loved cinnamon. It was a flavor that brought a strange sense of comfort to you, and you really needed comfort more than ever. As you both sat down at a table to wait on your coffee, your paranoia was rising for some reason at this moment, and it was written all over your face. “Everything okay?” Spike questioned. He read you like a book. “One thing I didn’t mention is I got word that people from my town were looking for me. I’m just nervous they’ll somehow follow my trail and find me. Apparently they want me dead.” You whispered. He nodded in understanding, and nothing could’ve prepared you for his next words. “Even if they do find you, I won’t let them take you. Trust me.” He looked serious about this. “I might not know you that well yet, but I’ll be damned if I miss the chance to get to know you better. Not only that, but I won’t allow you to go back there to die when you’ve only just started living.” You felt a weird sense of relief somewhat wash over you. You were still on alert, but his words made you feel safe. “I...wow. Thank you, if you really do mean that I’ll make sure I pay you back for this someday.” He chuckled at your response. “You wanna know how you can pay me back, yeah? Live and enjoy your life once you’re free from all this. That’s the only payment I need.”  As Tabitha brought your coffee and you sipped on it, the mixture of the taste of cinnamon and Spike’s words made your eyes sting with tears. Your parents always warned you about strangers, claiming anyone not in the religion was trouble. If Spike was trouble, then trouble you’d get yourself into. The bell ringing from the door of the cafe interrupted your thoughts. A woman in all white, wearing a golden cross necklace walked in. Standing next to a man in a white suit, wearing the same necklace. You felt yourself get nauseous. You stared into Spike’s eyes with panic. “What’s u-” You cut him off by shushing him. “They’re looking for me. I know them.” You whispered in a panic. Luckily where you were both sat, you weren’t immediately visible upon walking in. “What do we do?” You were clearly shaken up, not really able to think. “Do you trust me?“ Spike whispered. You didn’t totally trust him yet, but it was either trust him or risk using your own thinking, which wasn’t really rational right now. “Yes.” You responded, and he nodded. He stood up, throwing his coat over him and motioning you to stand in next to him. He untied a string and it dropped the rest of the jacket. Was this guy a spy or something? It covered your legs, and he pulled you in close to him. You were hidden by just a piece of fabric in a dream. You prayed this would go well, but quickly realized how ironic that thought was. “Hey Tabitha! I’m ready for my shift. Where should I hang my coat up?“ You saw Spike wink, and Tabitha got the hint. “Just take it in the back!” She responded, as she then greeted the two people you desperately were trying to avoid. Spike walked into the back and left you back there as he put an apron on, making sure he blended into the role until they left. He gave you a brief hug and whispered, “It’ll be okay,” before walking back up into the front. You awkwardly sat in the back as you eavesdropped. “Have either of you seen this person on the side of this milk carton? This is my cousin.” The posh lady spoke up. You knew she was talking about you. “I haven’t. I’m so sorry.” Tabitha spoke up. “Well, someone saw them come in here today...” The posh man spoke up. “We asked someone, and they swore up and down...” He was gritting his teeth. “Well I hate to break it to you, but even if this person was here today, they’re gone by now.” Spike had a stern tone in his voice. “And you won’t speak to us like that.” You heard the two looking for you gasp. “Who are you to speak to us in such a fashion?” The woman spoke. “The same person who’s kicking you out of this cafe for talking to us the same way. Scram.” Spike demanded. You heard Tabitha gasp. You hated not being able to see what was going on up there. “You’ll learn not to speak to us like that again boy.” The man spat. “Go ahead and pull the trigger. We’ll see what God thinks of that.” Spike retorted. You felt sick to your stomach hearing a gun got pulled. “Let’s see who meets him first.” You peeked and saw Spike holding a gun to the man now. It was a stand off. “What’s the sour face for?” Spike taunted. “Do it. I fucking dare you.” Right before the man fired his gun, Spike ducked and popped back up, putting a bullet between the man’s eyes. The woman with him screamed. Luckily for them, nobody else was in the cafe. She bolted out of the cafe and a car screeched down the road. “The coast is clear.” Spike called out to you. Tabitha was locking up the cafe doors. “We’ll need to clean this up somehow.” Her breathing was all over the place. It was as intriguing to you as it was odd that Spike was calm. Blood was all over the floor. After what felt like hours of cleaning, there was no sight blood had even been here. Tabitha said she “knew a guy” who could take care of the body for them, and so you and Spike made your way back to the train station. “How were you so calm during all of that?” You blurted out. “Inside I was a nervous wreck, I just know how to not show it.” Spike sighed. “In reality I’m still shaken up too, but hey. Better him than you, right?” He patted you on the back. One hour was left until the train would be arriving. You had fallen asleep again, Spike allowing you to use his shoulder as a pillow. The nap was short-lived however, Spike was waking you up. “Hey, it’s time to board the train. Sit next to me, yeah?” He smiled. You weren’t going to leave his side now. He just killed for you. It would be downright cruel to tell him no. He let you sit on the inside next to the window. It was dark out, but you still stared out of the window at all the dimly lit sights. “Hey...I’ve got a question for you.” Spike broke the silence. “What is it?” You turned around and looked at him. “Wanna go see the west with me?” He smiled at you as he asked. “I’m not exactly sure what you mean.” You responded awkwardly. “What I mean is why not come travel with me? Stick by each other’s side, you know? After everything that happened today, something doesn’t feel right making this train ride the last time we see each other.” He looked down at the floor for a minute before looking back up at you, staring into your eyes. Your shaken up mind was screaming no, but your heart and gut were telling you to accept his offer. After a life of listening to your mind, it was time to start listening to your gut and your heart. Those were the things that gave you the nerve to run away in the first place. If you listened to your mind, you’d still be in Nebraska. You nodded as you spoke, not breaking eye contact with the man who had proven himself to you as someone you could trust. I mean, come on. He did just kill someone for you. “I agree. I can’t imagine this just being some one off moment with a stranger after everything that just...happened.” He smiled, not one of his cheesy ones, but a soft one. “I’m glad to hear that. I’m looking forward to getting to know you even more.” You both stared into each other’s eyes for a few seconds longer before chuckling awkwardly, turning to look back out of the window. You felt yourself getting sleepy, and as your head fell back to your seat, Spike caught you with his arm, gently moving you to lean against his shoulder instead. Eventually he let out a yawn, his head resting on top of yours as you both fell asleep on the train ride to California. After two days of travel, Spike was once again waking you up. You’d finally arrived in California. You sprung awake in excitement and held onto Spike’s arm. You didn’t really seem to realize you’d been doing it, and he didn’t really seem to mind, so you both walked off the train like this. “We’re actually here I can’t believe it!” You squealed. Spike led you both to a place to rent a car, then soon after pulled up to a hotel. After checking in, you both went up to your room. Two queen sized beds and finally some good air conditioning. You hadn’t slept on a bed in weeks, but you were too excited to sleep right now. “Can we go and explore?” You asked him. He happily nodded and you both ran out into the town, admiring all the city lights. However the part of you that explored back home kicked in and managed to find a quiet spot on a trail. You sat down, and Spike sat next to you. Staring up at the stars. “Look at those starts, it’s like they make a rose.” You were in awe at how pretty the sky was here too, just like back at home. “That one looks like a lion.” Spike chuckled. You both sat and admired the stars for hours, talking about whatever came to mind. Neither of you knew when it happened, but Spike’s arm was around you and you were leaning into him. “I finally feel like I’m living.” You sighed out in a relived and content way. “That’s what I like to hear.” He pulled you into him a little closer and you both kept soaking in the beautiful night sky above you.

[kcsplace]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks for the tag @sparrow-in-the-field and @strangethings-everywhere

I guess today is the day that you all get to learn about my other AO3 account since a lot of these Qs are about overall stuff lol.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

59

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

846,116 which is insane to me, esp as more than half that is one fic

3. What fandoms do you write for?

MCU - Phlint and Stucky Stranger Things - Steddie 9-1-1 - Buddie Criminal Minds - Reid/Hotchner Firefly - Jayne/Mal H50 - McDanno TBITB - Coxstroke Merlin - Merthur NCIS - Tony/Gibbs SG-1 - Jack/Daniel The Sentinel - Jim/Blair

4. Top five fics by kudos?

He Whom My Soul Loves (Stucky) - 988 A Diaz By Any Other Name (911) - 970 The Man On The Wall (Stucky) - 929 Magic Man (Merthur) - 781 The Royal Camelot (Merthur) - 650

5. Do you respond to comments?

I love answering comments. If someone can take the time to leave a comment, I always do my best to answer. Not always immediately, but I get there!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angriest ending?

I don't think I've ever written anything with an angry ending. Maybe not happy, per se, but not angry

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhh probably The Man On The Wall because after a 475k slow burn, Bucky finally gets his kiss

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have done! Not in a while, but not because I'm any better, but because I'm such a teeny writer, nobody cares enough to be rude anymore!

9. Do you write smut?

Yup! Though by the time I'm done writing it it feels dry as the Sahara and textbook dull, I can only hope it reads better and that I'm just jaded after spending ages working on it

10. Craziest crossover?

I've done fusions, but not a crossover. Not yet!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yup! Why they'd choose mine, I don't know. Also had them added to goodreads against my wishes

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Never been asked! I've had art made for fic, and someone wanted to do a podfic version of one, but never translated.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Absolutely not!! I'm too much of a control freak and if my procrastination and oh-so-slow writing annoys me, it'd enrage even the calmest of co-writers! I wouldn't do that to an innocent person!

14. All time favorite ship

Honestly, I have favourite ships in a fandom, but narrowing down a favourite of all of them, I don't think I can!!! Cop out answer FTW!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

While I never start a fic in the hope of maybe finishing it as I always start with the intention to finish, sometimes they end up so big, or are outside my sphere of limited talent that they peter out. I have 120k of a Night At The Museum type AU for Stucky that has sat on my hard-drive for nearly a decade, and I'm 65k into a OFMD fic that I'm determined to finish, but at the moment the OFMD is the far far more likely fic to see the light of day

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue for sure. I can write whole fic that are just nothing but dialogue, and then I go back in and fill it out. The dialogue is the skeleton I work the rest onto

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Everything not dialogue!! Everything

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

....I don't have any?!?

19. First fandom you wrote in?

Probably Harry Potter some 20 years ago

20. Favorite fic you've written?

The Man On The Wall is my baby. I wrote it twice so its my sweetheart. It was also a serious labour of love at 474,747 words (also I love how neat that word count is) very very close second is Life, Written and Illustrated By in the Merlin fandom. It was my first foray into Merthur and was part of a competitive pornathon and I won that weeks with it so huuuuge confidence boost for my writing

[sarahfeliciam]

The Ultimatum Ch 12

The next morning, Emeline yawned quietly as she opened her eyes to the sunlight. It took her a second to register that she was still on the floor with a pillow and blanket she didn’t remember. She sat up and Sirius bounded into the room. 

“Morning, sleepyhead.”

“Morning, Sirius.” She mumbled tiredly. 

“I never did understand the science behind it, you know. Why when you sleep well, you’re less inclined to want to wake up. Happens to me everytime.”

“Huh. Enlightening.” 

“Goodmorning, darling.” 

Emeline smiled as he entered the room when she stood. He planted a kiss on the top of her head as she threw the blanket she’d been sleeping with at Sirius.

“I’m sensing there’s a team here and I’m not on it anymore.” Sirius sulked jokingly with a roll of his eyes. 

“You are. You’re just the underdog.” She snorted at her own joke which garnered a hearty laugh from Remus and drove Sirius’ point home.

“I’ll let it slide considering our morning subject material.”

He quirked an eyebrow at them for explanation and Remus clasped his hands together nervously, just like he had at their first meeting.

“And that subject would be?” She ventured. 

Sirius motioned to the small dining table offset from the kitchen and offered her a smile. “Shall we?”

She shot her dad a questioning glance but he was already following Sirius to sit. She trailed behind them and took a seat across from them. They looked between eachother before Remus began. 

“Emeline, Sirius and I have been talking. There’s something I believe to be in your best interest, especially in light of last night’s discussion.”

“I’m sorry you had to hea-“

“-no.” Remus held up a hand to stop her. “I’m glad I heard it, however, despite your nightmares you don’t have me convinced that you wouldn’t attempt to investigate your… theory any further.”

“Theory?! You don’t thi-“

“-Em, as true as it may be, you are not to test its bounds. I know the moment you speak of. And the hard truth is,” he breathed deeply and leaned back in his chair, sadness crossing his face. “The truth is that without guarantee of knowing you, I would never be comfortable allowing you to attempt what you did ever again.” 

“Okay..” she started slowly. “Then, what’s changed to warrant a sit down?”

They glanced at eachother again, Remus’ nerves increasing.

“Dad?”

“Your father thinks it best that you learn how to be an animagus.” Sirius interrupted.

Remus opened his mouth to speak and shut it again. He stared at Emeline quietly, taking in her face. He wasn’t actually sure anymore if she wore her motions loosely or if they were that in tune, but somehow he could easily read her. 

And she was… upset?

“Why?” She asked shakily. 

“I- well, you’d be safe.” He finished lamely, unsure of where the conversation was going.

“I promised you I wouldn’t get involved in a moon again and I don’t lie. Ofcourse I’m curious, but I’m also-“

“-traumatized?” Sirius offered.

“Sure.” She responded with an eye roll.

“Em, nevertheless. This isn’t completely for worry of you trying to get through to me again… it’s for mistakes like that night was.”

“I don’t want to be an animagus.”

“Emeline, just listen.”

She stood quickly. “No. I will not. You have my word and if my word is not good enough, I’m not sure what to tell you. Avoiding costly mistakes is your job and from what I hear, you’ve done it well your entire life. Perhaps you’ve too thrown caution to the wind in the name of concern as of late. It isn’t like you, at all, from what I’ve learned, to leave your potion behind and completely ignore the daylight’s fall. I shouldn’t have to answer for how I responded to an unthinkable position. What’s your answer?”

“Em, I- maybe you’re right.” Remus watched her closely, seeing her attempting to steady her breathing as he’d been teaching her. She stared back at him calmly. “Maybe I have been slightly haphazard. I saw your name on the map heading for Sirius and Peter and- and everything I knew just dissolved. You’re precious to me. I was afraid you’d be hurt and I knew that I could…” he trailed off but Emeline did not break her stare. “I thought I was the best one for the job to protect you.” He finished sadly.

“I think I’m going to go walk myself.” Sirius announced loudly, already in dog form before they could respond. 

Emeline and Remus were left looking at one another, unsure of what to say next, before she broke the silence. 

“You knew or you thought?”

“I’m sorry?”

“You used both sentiments: you knew you were the best one for the job, or you thought you were. Which is it?”

“Well, after everything, I’m not su-“

“-dad, the first thing that comes to your mind.”

“I’m your father. My every instinct is to ensure your safety, Emeline. I would give my life to protect you.”

She breathed in slowly and nodded, reaching out her hand to his. He rested his over hers gingerly and she offered him a warm smile. 

“I’ll do it.”

“You’ll do what?”

“I’ll train to be an animagus, if you feel it’s in my best interest.”

“I do think-“

“-you think or you know?” She asked again. 

Confidence mounted inside of him and he nodded strongly.

“I know this is what you need.”

“I trust you.”

[fiadorable]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks for the tag, @curator-on-ao3 🫶

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 46 works, but if you parse the three drabble collections and a ficlet collection it jumps up to 96.

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 142,888

3. What fandoms do you write for? Star Trek Strange New Worlds, The Librarians, Once Upon a Tme, Star Trek Voyager, The X-Files (none on ao3), Harry Potter, and King & Maxwell

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? Where Flowers Bloom: The F*ck You Bouquet Once Upon a Time, SwanQueen, Rated T, 2.8k words Prom season is keeping Regina Mills, proprietor of Fairytale Flowers, busy, but when Emma Swan storms into her store one day with a unique request and a hidden connection, her day shifts from busy to odd to (dare she say it) hopeful.

revelation in the light of gray Star Trek Strange New Worlds, PikeUna, Rated G, 2.8k words Ensign Uhura stumbles into sickbay late one night and discovers something new about Captain Pike and Number One.

love is a ghost you can't control Star Trek Strange New Worlds, PikeUna, Rated T, 4.3k words One or two times Christopher Pike, uh, asked Una Chin-Riley about romance while they were both serving on the Antares. (This fic was inspired by and based on a scenario referenced in @curator-on-ao3's fic The Haze!)

Of Paperwork, Knots, and Warm Glowy Things, or, Roland Registers for Kindergarten Once Upon a Time, OutlawQueen, Rated G, 10.5k words Sometimes, Henry lets him sit on his bed with his old textbooks splayed open on his lap, the large tomes covering his legs as he runs his hands across the shiny paper, drinking in the bright pictures breaking up the dark columns of text. The older boy warned him he might not have hardbacked books like that until first grade, but Roland doesn't care. He's going to carry his own backpack and learn how to write and memorize all the names of all the bugs in this realm.

Trekalicious Drabbles Star Trek Strange New Worlds, PikeUna + La'an & Chapel + La'an & Una + Sir Adya/Z'ymria, Rated T, 2.1k words A collection of 100 word drabbles for the #Wednesday100 challenge

5. Do you respond to comments? I'm trying to! I'm very bad about doing it in a timely manner 🙈

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oh, definitely the scorch. That piece is pure, distilled angst.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Of Paperwork, Knots, and Warm Glowy Things is pretty saccharine

8. Do you get hate on fics? Yeah, I attracted a few trolls with So Are We Alright Then?. Luckily they were no match for the almighty "delete comment" function. Most people are nice.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Eh? Kind of? Most of my stuff stays M or below.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I've done one: an ending unforseen, which is a crossover between Strange New Worlds and Voyager. I threw Christopher Pike into the Delta Quadrant on Voyager so he could have a chat with Kathryn Janeway.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yep!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? I can't pick a favorite, but I will say that Mulder/Scully, fanon Janeway/Chakotay, OutlawQueen, and Pike/Una have all been formative ships that I've enjoyed watching/reading/writing for over the years.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? First Day (Once Upon a Time OQ). 1 chapter published as a one shot that was received so well I turned it into a novel-length fic that was never published (19 chapters, 8 alternate universes visited, 40k words written with barely the surface scratched). I love it. It's my white whale. I open it up and marvel at the audacity and ambition of my younger self every now and then.

16. What are your writing strengths? Characterization, dialogue. Sometimes I concentrate hard and pull off some nifty minimalist prose.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Details and self doubt.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'm not bilingual, so if I did, I would 100% run it by a native speaker if someone was available to spot check.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Either Voyager or X-Files, I can't remember which

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? I love writing the drabbles, they're little puzzleboxes of happy.

tagging: @enterprise-come-in and @meddow with apologies if y'all've been there done that

[catsandgoodbooks]

No. 12: “I haven’t slept in days but who’s counting?”

Red | Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.”

TW/CWs: Implied/referenced self-harm, mind control

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sam curled in on himself, trying to ignore the red creeping into his vision (the blood covering his arms) and focus on wondering what he’d done to deserve this. He hadn’t done anything to deserve this. He wasn’t the bad guy here. He never had been.

Oh, really? Then why did they all leave you? the Egg probed. No one’s going to save you; they all hate you. They’ll be glad if you disappear; they’ll be delighted if you die.

Sam ignored it. People cared about him, and he cared about them. He’d done it all for them. For Ponk, for Tommy, for everyone else. They wouldn’t let him die. They wouldn’t abandon him, and they hadn’t, no matter what the Egg said. It just wanted to break him down so that he’d give in to it. He never would. Not when he was the Warden, bearing the weight of the responsibility of keeping the server safe on his shoulders. Of keeping the prisoner trapped, unable to hurt anyone else.

And how amazingly you’ve done that, the Egg mocked. Under your guidance, Tommy died. You didn’t manage to keep him safe, did you?

Tommy’s death was a…miscalculation. He hadn’t accounted for that possibility when he let Tommy visit Dream (when he locked Tommy inside with the prisoner). It was unenviable circumstances. There was no good option, no right path to take; if he hadn’t done what he did, he would have endangered the security of the prison, and that would just lead to Tommy and so many others getting hurt. Anyone else would have done the same thing.

Would they? the Crimson asked snidely. Would they really? If it was Tommy’s choice, would he have you do the same thing? Would he have chosen to die?

“I’m not saying that Tommy would do the same thing, I’m saying that anyone else would do the same thing in my position,” Sam protested. “That’s different. I’m not cruel.”

Not like Dream, right? it whispered, and suddenly it was Dream, not the prisoner, not the tyrant, but the carefree teen Sam knew before all this. The only change was the red of his eyes, the thin red vines, looking almost like veins, creeping down his face.

(If Sam reached out, he could touch him, could break the illusion apart. He didn’t)

Not like Dream, the Egg repeated smugly, and the red-eyed boy disappeared. Sam wasn’t surprised. He had already known it was just a long-dead apparition. It couldn’t hurt him, or anyone else for that matter. Not like us, right? Really, what’s the worst thing I’ve ever done, Sam? We pulled Bad and the rest of them together. They’re happy now. All they had to do was give in. We haven’t hurt anyone who didn’t want it, the Crimson told him. Name one person we’ve killed. Name one person whose death we’ve caused. Not even killed directly. Just caused. Can’t name one, right?

Sam knew that the Egg hadn’t killed anyone yet. Yet. It wasn’t safe, it wasn’t good, it wasn’t trustworthy. Just because something hadn’t happened yet didn’t mean it wouldn’t ever happen.

Oh, Sammy, you have so little trust in us. Maybe there’s still a way for you to learn better, the Crimson contemplated. It would be good to find out, wouldn’t it? You’re only ever afraid when things are unknown, aren’t you? When you don’t know enough to see if it’s a threat or not. When it’s uncalibrated. We can fix that, the Egg promised. You just have to give us the chance, Sam.

Sam was never going to give it that chance. There was too much resting on him. The server trusted him to get his job done. To keep them safe. To keep the prisoner in check. The Egg would take that away from him. He couldn’t let that happen.

And then, before he could vocalize anything or the Egg could respond, a pickaxe slammed through the obsidian above Sam’s head, startling him. Light streamed in. He hadn’t realized how much he missed it. (He couldn’t hear the Egg anymore. He missed it, just a little bit)

“Sam?”