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ashwhowrites · 2 months

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Eddie Munson x cheerleader! reader, what if they're in a secret relationship, they've been together quite some time now, and they haven't told anyone bc of the rude ppl, but what if Gareth had to go to Eddie's to help him with a homework or something and when he walks in (maybe he knew where Eddie left his key or something) he goes to Eddie's bedroom and he sees Reader on top of Eddie kissing him, and he's like WTH and they get scared bc of that, but Gareth tells them that he's not gonna tell anyone about it. But, he always teases Eddie about his relationship with Reader.

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻

Secrets out

Eddie lived in a dream he hoped he wouldn't wake up from. He somehow snagged the girl of his dreams and he hoped he wouldn't mess it up. He took every precaution, including keeping it a secret from his friends.

Eddie knew once the school found out, their paradise together would crash and burn. They were good at keeping their distance at school, no one expected a thing.

Which is why Gareth refused to believe what he saw.

Gareth arrived at Eddie's to help him study for a test. Being Eddie's best friend, Gareth knew where the spare key was hidden. As he always did, Gareth welcomed himself into the trailer. The trailer was quiet, but music came from Eddie's room. Gareth took that as a sign of where Eddie would be. He dropped his backpack on the couch and walked to Eddie's room.

"Yo, I'm H-" Gareth stopped, taking in the scene before him.

"OH MY GOD!" Y/N screamed as she jumped off Eddie's body. She grabbed her shirt from the floor and hid behind the bed as she threw it on. She clenched her eyes and tried to disappear.

Eddie sat up and threw back on his shirt, his eyes panicked.

"Dude!" Eddie scolded, getting off the bed as he pushed Gareth back out the door. Eddie closed the door behind them, allowing Y/N to move from her hiding spot.

"Dude me? Dude you! You were tongue-deep in Y/F/N, the hottest cheerleader in school." Gareth exclaimed as he pointed at the door. Gareth could not believe this was reality. Eddie was his best friend and he had no clue he was sneaking around with Y/N. In a way he was hurt, but very jealous.

"I know! But listen, you can't tell anyone." Eddie said, his tone serious, placing his hand on Gareth's shoulder.

"I won't, I swear. But on one condition." Gareth said, crossing his arms.

Eddie got nervous but nodded.

"I need every detail," Gareth smirked as Eddie blushed.

~~~

It took a few hours to calm Y/N down about Gareth knowing. But in a way, it was a little relieving that someone finally knew.

Eddie loved that Gareth knew because now he had someone to talk to about his relationship. He finally got to talk about his girlfriend.

But Gareth also was a pain in Eddie's ass.

"Hellfire will start an hour later, so be on time!" Eddie declared as he got up from the lunch table.

"Wait why?" Mike asked as he grabbed his tray.

"I got to do something." Eddie shrugged, Gareth caught the subtle look towards Y/N and smirked.

"Gee, Eddie. I hope whatever it is, it doesn't take too long." Gareth teased, Eddie caught his message and glared.

"Thought you guys were a secret," Gareth mumbled. The loud hallway covered his words.

"We are," Eddie stated confused.

"Then why do you keep staring, lover boy." Gareth laughed at the joke but was answered with a punch in the shoulder from Eddie.

Gareth walked into the trailer for another night of studying, but this time more aware of closed doors.

He heard the music and walked over to Eddie's room. He knocked a few times and announced his arrival.

"It's safe Gareth." Eddie laughed, Gareth opened the door and looked in. Eddie was working on homework as Y/N flipped through a magazine.

"You boys have fun," Y/N said, standing up from the bed. She gave Eddie a kiss goodbye and then walked out.

"You are so gone for her," Gareth laughed as he sat next to Eddie.

"I know," Eddie said with a dreamy smile on his face.

Tags!

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#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson fanfic #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson request #eddie munson fluff x reader #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x cheerleader #eddie munson x cheerleader!reader #ashwhowrites

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zalia · 29 days

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Truth to Power, Chiasmus, and the Final Shape (or, has anyone else noticed we're playing the story backwards?)

Through a set of circumstances, I ended up getting onto an unhinged rambling session at 3am so thanks to my friend who let me (one time when different time zones was actually useful).

Some of this may be a little bit of a reach, but I think it bears out, and i've put the truly out there thoughts at the end.

Contains spoilers for Season of the Wish finale, and basically of Destiny, including the Final Shape trailers and ViDocs.

Okay, lets talk about Truth to Power and Ikora and Arach Jalaal's discussion of it in the Witch Queen CE.

Truth to Power is a lore book from Forsaken and it is... odd to say the least. It starts out as a message from 'Eris' and then cycles through other characters Eris > Medusa > Quria > Dul Incaru > Savathun, and then back again. It includes a 'choose your own adventure' section, a hidden challenge to defeat Shattered Throne solo at light level 999, a hidden note to data miners, and talks a lot about Ahamkara, the Distributary and the Dreaming City, black holes, and Savathun's (potential) plans regarding it. Especially the idea of moving through worlds contained within worlds via black holes.

In the Hidden Dossier decoded from the Witch Queen CE, Ikora and Arach Jalaal discuss this book, it's many readings, and what it might mean.

One thing that comes up is that the story uses a literary device called 'chiasmus'

REY >> JALAAL Look at the structure of the text. At first, Eris is real. Then we learn Eris's voice is a deception by Medusa. Then we learn Medusa is nested inside Quria. Then we learn Quria is a fiction of Dûl Incaru. And at the center, Savathûn reveals herself to be the parent of it all. We are headed inward, as if moving from parent to child universe. Then we proceed in reverse. Savathûn is revealed to be a fiction of Dûl Incaru. Dûl Incaru a simulation by Quria, and so on. So in the end, Truth to Power moves outwards. Just as Savathûn plans to move. In from our universe and out to the Distributary�� Or out from our universe to its parent. JALAAL >> REY Oh. I see. I see! A literary structure like that is called a chiasmus, and chiasmus means "crossing point"! Like a wormhole or a portal! It was hidden in plain sight.

They can also be thought of as ring structures. We end at the beginning.

Which incidentally is the tag line for the Akashic Revelation lore from Season of the Deep about a Guardian trying to enter the portal in the Traveller and getting visions of his original human life!

Which will become relevant i swear.

Lots of people have commented about the finale cutscene from Season of the Wish, and how it mirrors Forsaken - with Crow at Cayde's mercy, vs Cayde at Uldren's mercy. And you can kind of look at Crow's story in general as a reflection of Uldren's. Crow resurrected > Imprisoned by Spider > Manipulated by Savathun > Growing into himself and his freedom as a guardian > Reconciliation with Mara > Jumping through a portal to another facet of reality

Uldren following Mara out of the Distributary > the growing distance between him and Mara > Prince of the Awoken, tricking Guardians, visiting the Black Garden > his growing madness leading to his imprisonment in the Prison of Elders and manipulation by Riven (who was controlled by Savathun) > Death

There's another cycle (there are many cycles) I noticed with Saint and Osiris.

Vanguard Commanders > Separation+Exile > Saint's loss of the Light + death > [Sundial Incident] > Osiris' loss of the Light and imprisonment > [Nezarec Tea Incident] > Recovery+being reunited > Vanguard Commanders

We've also had in the ViDoc the mention of receiving the Khvostov because it's the first weapon we ever use in D1, returning to the freeway we were resurrected at, returning to the beginning.

With me so far?

We've ended Season of the Wish with a redux version of the final fight of D1 Vanilla - the destruction of the Black Heart. Symbolically bringing us back to the start of our journey. But if you look at a lot of the themes of recent seasons... we've been travelling backwards loosely through a reflection of D1's storylines.

Season of the Wish/D1 Vanilla

In D1, we are guided to enter the Black Garden and destroy the Black Heart created by the Vex. This is the story where we first encounter Mara and Uldren who send us to get the eye of a Vex Gate Lord to enter the Garden. Which involves us going to the Ishtar Academy on Venus to find out more about the Vex (incidentally this is also where the Vex Citadel is located - something which has been very prominently visible in the Starcrossed Mission).

In Season of the Wish, we are following up work done by Maya Sundaresh and Chioma Esi of the Ishtar Collective on the Veil which was revealed to be what the Black Heart was trying to recreate. We're working with Mara and Crow (and Crow even lampshades the original story in a joke about the eye of a Vex Gate Lord!). Eventually we end up confronting the Vex and destroying a new copy of the Black Heart.

Season of the Witch/The Dark Below

In the Dark Below, we are guided by Eris to stop the resurrection of Crota by disrupting a ritual, and eventually kill him in his Throne World in the Crota's End raid.

In Season of thr Witch, we take part in a ritual to tithe to Eris to help her ascend into becoming the Hive god of vengeance so that she can cut Xivu Arath off from her Throne World

Eris: Crota's soul is banished. You have given me the gift of vengeance. I thank you… - D1

Season of the Deep/The Taken King

I admit that this is out of order and a little more of a stretch, but chiasmus is not necessarily an exact thing and I think the parallels are there.

In The Taken King, we are confronted with Oryx's fleet arriving in the system to get revenge for the killing of Crota. He destroys a large portion of the Awoken Fleet who were there to buy us time, including killing Mara Sov (she had a plan and got better!). We have to pretend to be Ascendant Hive to face him on the Dreadnaught (which is created from the body of one of the Worm Gods) and we take shards of his sword to create our own. Eventually we face him in King's Fall, use his hoarded stolen Light and free it to defeat him.

In Season of the Deep, we have the sudden reappearance of Titan in the system sent by Xivu Arath. We have Sloane who has willingly become half Taken to learn about Xivu's plans and undermine them, and she is supported by Ahsa, one of the proto-worms who is seemingly akin to the Worm Gods (Eris uses her name and the name of her slaughtered family in her ritual in Season of the Witch, alongside the names of the Worm Gods). We save Ahsa, Sloane is possessed briefly by Xivu but recovers. We also enter a pyramid and take a gift of Darkness (Wicked Implement) left to us by Xivu.

Also we have a whole dungeon about the Lucent Hive trying to resurrect Oryx and Xivu's voice memories regarding him and everything about the Hive.

Season of Defiance/House of Wolves

In House of Wolves, Skolas, Kell of Wolves, is freed from his imprisonment by one of the Nine. he declares himself Kell of Kells, frees his followers from the Prison of Elders, attempts to assassinate Mara Sov. Mara, angered by this, gives Guardians the freedom of the Reef to hunt Skolas down as he tries to unite the various houses. He eventually breaks into the Vault of Glass to bring Wolves from the past to aid him. We stop him, capture him, and eventually kill him in the Prison of Elders. This leads to a very slight improvement of relations between the Reef and the City, although the Awoken, barring Petra, are still mainly ambivalent and Mara is absolutely only interested in us as a means to an end.

In Season of Defiance, the Shadow Legion are capturing humans and Eliksni and imprisoning them on the pyramid ships. We are aided in their rescue by Misraaks, once of the House of Wolves (as was his mother) now Kell of Light (and potentially Kell of Kells eventually???), and Mara Sov, who comes to aid us, willingly using her power to let us walk the Ascendant plane in order to rescue our people. It very much solidifies the alliance between the City and the Reef.

So essentially, House of Wolves is former allies of the Reef turning on them to destroy them. Season of Defiance is former enemies banding together to save their people.

Also Taniks is in House of Wolves, and conspicuously mentioned in Season of Defiance.

Lightfall/The Red War

Again, out of order slightly, but the more I think about it, the more I see the parallels.

In the Red War, the Last City is attacked by the Red Legion led by Dominus Ghaul who is obsessed with claiming the Light, and captures the Speaker. The Guardians lose the Light and are driven out of the City. We have to regain our Light abilities from the Shard of the Traveller that we are guided to. The Speaker is killed after admitting the Traveller doesn't speak to him. We go to gather our allies once more, assault the City, fight Ghaul who is then destroyed by the Light when the Traveller awakens. The Black Fleet is shown to activate at the edge of the System.

In Lightfall, we follow Osiris who has had a vision of Neptune. We arrive in Neomuna which is a City under assault from the Shadow Legion led by Calus (who was exiled and deposed by Ghaul). Our Light abilities are suppressed so we have to master Strand which is seemingly a product of the Veil. We gather our allies, including Caiatl who had taken over command after Ghaul's death, and combat the Shadow Legion's assault on Neomuna. We fight and defeat Calus who has been granted Darkness abilities. But the Witness communes with the Veil, damages the Traveller, and most of the Black Fleet leaves the system to enter the Traveller.

Season of the Seraph/Rise of Iron

In Rise of Iron, we're called by Saladin Forge, the last of the Iron Lords, to stop the Eliksni House of Devils from taking control of SIVA, the nanomachine plague which killed the other Iron Lords when they went to seek it to save humanity, because Rasputin got mad that the Traveller resurrected his son as Felwinter. We fight the SIVA animated corpses of some of the Iron Lords and destroy the replication chamber. We fight the Devil Splicers who have been augmented by SIVA.

In Season of the Seraph, we are working to recover a damaged Rasputin and stop Xivu Arath from taking control of Rasputin's Warsat network and weapons. We enter bunkers to recover his data, including returning to Felwinter Peak to recover Felwinter's memories which leads to Rasputin sacrificing himself to save humanity, where before he had sacrificed the Iron Lords for his own selfishness. We also fight Witness animated corpses of Eliksni (the Scorn) and Eliksni Wrathborn infected by Xivu Arath's cryptoliths (which can also infect computer systems). Eramis, once a Baron of the House of Devils has to see and grieve her friends and comrades turned into mindless puppets, as Saladin once had to see the Iron Lords turned into puppets by SIVA.

I think there's also a note to be had about how we're doing these repeats. In D1 the vast majority of the time, we are alone. We are not yet the Young Wolf, the Godslayer, the hero. We are just one random Guardian.

In D1 vanilla, there's no real mission control. You have Elsie Bray tell you to follow a signal and give you some info, but then you are on your own. Mara and Uldren are quite relaxed about potentially getting you killed. In Season of the Wish, we are guided by Osiris and Mara, aided by Crow. We have people with us every step of the way. At this point in D1, Petra was more or less exiled from the Reef. In Season of the Wish, she is one of Mara's greatest supports, and you can hear how much Mara cares about her.

The Dark Below has you guided by an Eris who is alone, untrusted and seen as crazy at best, or a genuine threat to the City at worst. She has nothing in her life but vengeance. In Season of the Witch, we have an Eris who has Ikora and Drifter and Mara there to support her and who trust her. The worry is mostly for her rather than about her.

We have gone from the Last City being a last bastion of humanity with the whole universe against us, to one of two cities, filled with those we had once called enemies.

Conclusion

So yeah, a theory that we're travelling back through our story, a chiasmus (there may well be other parallels in previous seasons too) which is taking us right back to the start of our story.

Except here's the thing... Elsie Bray is the one who starts things off by having us destroy the Black Heart. It's implied to be the major event that changed things. But Elsie's timeloops are stated to always take her back way before our resurrection, to the moment when Cayde becomes Hunter Vanguard.

Well, we're just about to get Cayde back.

So what happens when you reach the beginning/end of the story and yet it continues? We're outside the boundaries of this story now! Off the path we've been following!

But unlike when we were resurrected, alone save for Ghost, when we go into the Pale Heart, we will not be going alone. We've come through the chiasmus and we've done things better, built alliances, made friends, united the Light and the Darkness.

So when we step beyond the boundaries of the storyI would suggest one thing – Guardians make their own fates.

The actual unhinged theorising

So, there was one connection my mind made at like 7am when I briefly woke up after going to bed at 4am. A Chismus is kind of like a labyrinth.

In English, Labyrinth is often synonymous to maze, and it can be! However maze and labyrinth are also used as specialised terms - a maze is a multicursal puzzle with many branching paths, while a labyrinth is unicursal, and has only one winding path to the centre and out again.

You can see them in lots of places, including places of worship where they can represent symbols of pilgrimage, or a path to enlightment/salvation. Walking them can be used as a form of meditation. And historically they've also had sometimes been used as a way to trap evil spirits, or turn away evil.

So a Chiasmus is a ring structure, and you follow it from start to finish then back to start, and a labyrinth is a unicursal winding path that takes you to the centre and then back out again, and the story of Destiny is (loosely) following that structure.

There is one specific labyrinth I think it's worth looking at.

This is a labyrinth carved into the portico of Lucca Cathedral in Italy. The inscription is Latin and translated reads "This is the labyrinth built by Dedalus of Crete; all who entered therein were lost, save Theseus, thanks to Ariadne's thread"

This is the seal for Season of Arrivals... oh hey that... that looks familiar.

This is from the Live Action Witch Queen trailer showing the Cradle on Mars with... oh wait... is that... the same fucking labyrinth?

It crops up in a lot of places in Destiny. You will see it everywhere.

Where am I going with this?

Look at the inscription for the Lucca Cathedral labyrinth: "This is the labyrinth built by Dedalus of Crete; all who entered therein were lost, save Theseus, thanks to Ariadne's thread"

We know the story of Thesus and the Minotaur. He was able to find his way through thanks to a spool of thread given to him by Ariadne (oh hey, guess what subclass we just got in the last expansion...).

Well, Ariadne's Thread is the name for a method of solving puzzles by an exhaustive application of logic to all available routes. Wikipedia says about this method:

At any moment that there is a choice to be made, make one arbitrarily from those not already marked as failures, and follow it logically as far as possible.

If a contradiction results, back up to the last decision made, mark it as a failure, and try another decision at the same point. If no other options exist there, back up to the last place in the record that does have options, mark the failure at that level, and proceed onward.

That sounds kind of Vex-like huh? Or even more specifically... sounds almost like what Elsie Bray has been doing. She is reset each time to the last set point (Cayde becoming Hunter Vanguard), and in each loop she tests paths up until destruction. It's how she comes to realise that she has to be the person who finds stasis first.

Each loop cuts off a branch of the maze, a set of possibilities that do not lead to the right outcome. And cutting off each branch until there is only one path turns it into a labyrinth.

I've thought for a while that it feels like something is iterating, working through every option until all the pieces align and there is only one path. Making sure the chiasmus works.

Piecing together a perfectly constructed bomb to take on the sword, which will detonate into the exact kind of chaos that Guardians are good at.

I apologise for the extreme longness of this post. I really hope it is semi-coherent at least?

#destiny 2 #destiny the game #season of the wish #season of the wish spoilers #destiny 2 spoilers #the final shape #destiny lore #destiny meta #meta #destiny theory #truth to power

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nattaphum · 1 year

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NOOOOOOOOO IT’S THE HIDDEN MESSAGE TRAILER 💙💙💙💙💙💙

#IM CRYING REAL TEARS OMGGGG #IFMFKAKSSKSLKSSLSK #KAXKCKKFKFKFLD #kinnporsche #mileapo #kp world tour #kpwt bangkok #kpwt day10

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obscured-everything · 2 months

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OBSCURA trailer analysis & theories

The OBSCURA trailer is very pretty (watch it if you haven’t already <3) and is also full of interesting symbolism and snippets of Latin. In this post I’m going to be manually translating and providing notes on the Latin, as well as discussing what the numbers mean and giving my own plot speculations. SPOILERS for OBSCURA’s Chapter 1 with every love interest.

I’m going to be working with the theory that the numbers correspond to the Major Arcana in a Rider–Waite–Smith tarot deck. I’ll be pulling tarot card information from A.E. Waite’s 1910 book ‘The Pictorial Key to the Tarot’, where he discusses the symbolism of the images in the cards and provides divinatory meanings.

Shoutout to @/starlitmanta and @/mostlygayrage for posting their own analyses before me! I got inspired by both of them to both write down my thoughts and then actually finish the post after leaving it for months lol. @/mostlygayrage has some interesting stuff on the imagery and also delved into the Latin! Although he took it as one sentence which I won’t be doing – I’m going to take the double forward slashes as an indication of a break.

Disclaimer that I haven’t formally studied Latin in years so if there are any errors feel free to point it out in the notes!

Cirrus

18. Presbyter // Ecclesiae lunaris XVII: The Moon. Priest // Lunar churches

18. Obsequium // ducit ad caelum Obedience // he leads to heaven TL notes N/A Tarot meaning To quote Waite, “The moon is increasing on what is called the side of mercy… the path between the towers is the issue into the unknown. The dog and wolf are the fears of the natural mind in the presence of that place of exit, when there is only reflected light to guide it…the message is: Peace, be still; and it may be that there shall come a calm upon the animal nature...”

Upright: Hidden enemies, danger, darkness, terror, deception, occult forces, error. Reversed: Instability, inconstancy, silence, lesser degrees of deception and error. Speculation I think we can all agree that Cirrus is not trustworthy, hence danger, deception, occult forces etc. Nevertheless, Vesper (if you’ve got a good ending, at least) puts great degrees of trust in him. ‘A calm upon the animal nature’ calls to mind his odd ability to influence Vesper’s choices and force them into saying ‘yes’, but I also thought it might reference something about Vesper putting aside their instinctive reservations about Cirrus’ suspicious character to follow him into an unknown future.

Leading to heaven is, to me, a bit double-edged; it could mean death or paradise. Very fitting, I think.

Keir

20. Keir // Cavillatur fur XX: Judgement. Keir // Mocking thief

20. Fatum // vestrum vel extraneus [Destiny / (calamitous) death] // yours or a stranger TL notes I’m inclined to believe that Keir’s name being his plain name rather than an epithet is probably just part of his blunt kind of character, and ‘mocking thief’ is probably related to his personality too. Also, there is another piece of Latin on that first screen – ‘cultellus’, which means ‘dagger’ and points downwards towards where his dagger is held. Also, ‘fatum’ is a very interesting word in that it carries an intriguing potential double meaning. Tarot meaning Upright: Change of position, renewal, outcome. Reversed: Weakness, pusillanimity, simplicity; also deliberation, decision, sentence. Speculation Waite’s initial discussion of Judgement is very Biblical which I doubt has much to do with OBSCURA’s use of it. I do think the divinatory meanings are very interesting – I think that at a good/best end of Keir’s route, he’ll be able to come out on top and secure a good and/or stable future for himself and/or Mouse Hole.

My current theory is that, since we have had mentions of Keir and Oleander in each others’ routes, that they have direct effects on each others’ fates. This fits with ‘yours or a stranger’ of course, but also the double-edged ‘destiny or (calamitous) death’ – I’ll speculate more in Oleander’s route, but I think he and potentially most of Mouse Hole will not fare well if Vesper picks Oleander.

I’m interested in why his dagger was explicitly pointed out and labelled. I’m kind of shooting in the dark here but I think it’ll be significant in the future – either as a symbol of his history (specifically with Oleander, perhaps?) or as a plot device of some sort.

Oleander

11. Nerii // Periculosum scurra XI: Justice. Of oleander // Dangerous clown

11. Patiuntur // sicut habes They are suffering // just like you are TL notes More technically, ‘nerii’ is the genitive of ‘nerium’, which means oleander. This makes sense to me when I think about how he’s had a history of changing names – he’s moreso embodying the qualities of oleander (a pretty but dangerous plant) rather than taking it as a definitive name.

‘Patiuntur’ is in the plural, and suffering might be a strong word depending on how you look at it – the original word is like enduring through something difficult or unpleasant. Tarot meaning Waite basically says that the card has ‘obvious meanings’ so I don’t think I need to look too closely into it.

Upright: Equity, rightness, probity, executive; triumph of the deserving side in law. Reversed: Law in all its departments, legal complications, bigotry, bias, excessive severity Speculation The second half of the second piece of Latin, ‘sicut habes’, is in the second-person and I’m assuming that this is meant to address Vesper/MC. Maybe Oleander is also looking for something that he can’t find or afford, although the plural throws me off a bit if that’s the case. Maybe it’s referencing Oleander’s previous Vigils (since Vesper is currently holding that position, ‘just like’ they have) or something…?

Now, here is my plot theory which may or may not be insane. We know that Oleander has committed murder, and was very blasé about it; presumably he’s done this sort of thing before. We know that in his route, Keir has been alluded to, Griff has shown up and Keir is presumably going to show up at some point. I think that Oleander’s involvement with Keir is going to end very poorly for Keir, even leading to the calamity insinuated in Judgement. Specifically, I think that Oleander and Keir are going to be caught up in a serious crime and Keir is going to take the fall, leading to a permanent end for him (death, probably) and the following collapse of Mouse Hole. Oleander will get off lightly or scot-free (Justice’s ‘triumph of the deserving side in law’, ‘deserving’ as opposed to Keir who is indisputably a criminal and receives ‘excessive severity’).

This could be from Keir and his group failing the burglary since Vesper isn’t there to cover for the injured lookout, or it could be something else that brings in the dagger which was pointed out in Keir's portion of the trailer. I’m thinking murder, honestly.

Francesco

10. Franciscum // innocentes nobiles X: Wheel of Fortune. Francisco // innocent nobles

10. Tempus // decurrit Time // runs out TL notes Grammatically, ‘Franciscum’ is in the accusative (the case used to mark the ‘object’ on which a verb acts). This could be a stylistic thing or it could allude to how he’s being ‘acted upon’ by whatever power/influence his family have.

‘Decurrit’ is literally ‘runs down’ which fits with the hourglass imagery, but I imagine that the spirit of the phrase is ‘runs out’ especially since his route already alludes to that. Tarot meaning To quote Waite, “the symbolic picture stands for the perpetual motion of a fluidic universe and for the flux of human life … the essential idea of stability amidst movement. Behind the general notion expressed in the symbol there lies the denial of chance and the fatality which is implied therein.”

Upright: destiny, fortune, elevation, luck, felicity. Reversed: increase, abundance, superfluity. Speculation I think that at some point within Francesco’s route, his family is going to be further involved. I assume that these are the ‘innocent nobles’, which makes me think that whatever state or situation that they find Francesco in won’t be very innocent at all. Alternatively, it could be that his family is more innocent/harmless than they present themselves as – depending on circumstance, this could be a big win for Vesper or a big loss because they don’t have the family backing that they thought they did.

The Wheel of Fortune carries connotations of luck and change in fortune. I assume that Vesper provides Francesco with some degree of ‘stability amidst movement’ and that any ‘denial of chance’ involves Francesco leaving the marketplace and returning to the very clearly mapped out future that his family has for him, thus leading to a bad end. ——————————

Thanks for reading to the end!

#obscura vn #obscura analysis #obscura theories #rotten raccoons

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upon-a-starry-night · 3 months

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Number Neighbors Pt.27

Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Natasha Masterlist Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.2k

Summary: When you catch sight of the newest trend going around you know you’re all but bound to at least try it, it was harmless anyway. What could possibly stem from something so little?

----

Nat’s been more than exhausted these past few weeks as she drafts up argument after argument that she can use against the government to justify why she and her fellow Avengers shouldn't be put on a leash. She knows it’s a long shot and she doesn’t have enough witness accounts or evidence yet but she’s been hearing about the crime rate spike through the rumor mill and she hopes that soon enough she’ll have enough to come back.

She can bring her family back and finally have you. If you’ll still have her after all of this is over. She knows you’d have every right to be mad but she hopes you’ll understand enough to at least let her take you on one date.

The rain pelts outside of her window as it has been for the last three days and she sighs as she lies back on her pull-out bed. If it were under different circumstances she might’ve been able to appreciate the break from the city and the pressure. Maybe she could even come back to these woods with Clint, or Wanda, or…You.

She’s working hard to make sure her family is safe, yes, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t working this hard to also see you again. To finally know what it feels like to hold you, to run her fingers through your hair, and hear you laugh again. The thought of you has been the only thing that’s brought her comfort these past few weeks.

Her computer dings with an email and she shoots up immediately, grabbing the shiny object from the side table next to her and pulling it onto her lap. She wasn’t expecting any emails while she was out here and her mind jumped to the worst-case scenario: they’d found her location.

The email is from an unknown sender which only makes her more uneasy and she’s more frustrated than anything that she’ll have to find a new place to hide when she recognizes the encrypted link hidden in the email's coding.

It was a website Clint had created just for the two of them to communicate in case there was ever a situation similar to this. She’s afraid to admit just how comforting it was to hear from someone close to her after weeks of no contact. She quickly opens the website and reads the messages.

Clint-

Hey Natty, hope you’re having fun wherever you’ve parked that trailer of yours, Tony’s been a real pain in the butt but we’re trying to negotiate some better terms with some government officials. I know you’re probably working on a solution of your own but I’ve got to at least pretend like I contribute to this group-

She snorts at the self-jab, knowing her fellow Avenger couldn’t care less about the insults people say about him being the least skilled Avenger. She always admired that about him.

Clint-

Anyway, your phone’s been blowing up. I think Tony is getting suspicious so I took it and hid it in my room. I think you’re gonna be in deep shit with your girlfriend when you get back haha.

I attached the voicemails you’ve been getting, I didn’t listen to them but I saw who they were from. Thought they might be important.

Nat’s heart pounded as she stared at the attached files, there were at least 30 voicemails from you varying in different lengths and part of her was scared to open them. There was no doubt a few of them were just you yelling at her but even then she’d missed the sound of your voice so much that she’d take your irritation over anything else.

She hesitates over the first voicemail with her cursor but clicks it before she can sike herself out. There’s a little bit of silence and she wonders if you’re going to talk before she hears a small sniffle and her heart breaks. She swore to herself she’d never make you cry and now she’d failed, the sound of your quiet crying echoing throughout her trailer only amplifying her defeat.

It's another thirty seconds before your voice finally breaks through. It’s rough and raw and she can tell you’d probably been crying for a while.

“Nat? Where did you go? Why’d you leave? Listen- we don’t have to meet if you don’t want to. We can keep texting forever just don’t ghost me like this. Please.” It’s short and by how broken your last word sounded she can tell you were probably thrown into another fit of sobs after you ended the message.

Nat doesn’t know what to do with herself, her body feels frozen and her heart won’t stop sinking further into her stomach. She’s never heard you sound so unsure of yourself before and it tears her apart that she’s the one who made you that way. It takes her a few minutes to muster up the courage to click on another one.

“What kind of person just says ‘I’m sorry?’ I deserve a better explanation than that! You couldn’t have at least lied to me about going to save baby animals in Africa where there’s no cell service? At least then when you stopped responding I could’ve felt better!” She’s not surprised that you’re mad at her, you deserve to be, but it doesn’t stop the guilt from gnawing at her chest when she hears how irked you are.

The next few are similar in the fact that they’re either angry or spoken through tears but they slowly begin transitioning into something else. Eventually, you stop talking about her leaving and start talking about yourself. What you did that day, what you’re making for dinner, the cat you’ve been visiting at the cat cafe. There’s still a hint of sadness in your tone but she can tell the calls are a form of therapy for you. A way for Nat to be there when she’s not really there.

She wants to be there. She wants to be the one you’re talking about your day with, wants to cook you dinner while you sit on the counter and visit the cat cafe with you. It hurts that she can’t do that and as she’s listening she feels her eyes burn with tears. She refuses to let them fall. She’s not the one who gets to cry in this scenario and yet her eyes refuse to give up their unshed tears.

There’s one last voicemail from a day ago and she clicks on it expecting it to be like the others but much to her surprise you’re talking about her again.

“I think I’m mad because I can’t even bring myself to hate you for it. I know you’ve probably got some shit going on. I understand that, trust me. But- I don't know you could’ve… maybe it’s too much of me to ask you to fill me in on the situation- or let me know when you’d be back… Is this goodbye?”

Your static voice rings out into the silence and Nat hates how you sound. Reserved- almost accepting. Like you’ve convinced yourself she’s never going to respond again and she hates it. She hates that she made you so insecure that you think she isn't spending every hour thinking of you and how to get back to you.

The sound of your voice fills her with even more determination as she begins redrafting her court argument. She was going to come back to you, you just had to wait for her a little longer.

Pt.28

A/n: Aww Nat :( ~ Starry

---Taglist--

@marvelwomen-simp @cd-4848 @wandanatlov3r @rebeltombraider @ctrlamira @fxckmiup @aliherreraaa @natsxwife @la-douler-ne-finite-jamais @romanoffsgal @moistblobfish @natashaswife4125 @elenimoris @how-to-disappearrr @screechcat @toouncreativeforausername @ordelixx @autorasexy @blacklightsposts @vmpnano @jono723 @sylencr @saraaahsstuff @autorasexy @gay4hotmilfs @tofu9162 @dyslexic-dreamer @graniairish @colettehope @kosmichs1 @nmhlver @natblidaclexa @skittlebum @dorabledewdroop @nothanksbye07 @mrsrushman @midastouch013 @thalia-is-not-ok @tessalah @annab3113 @officialnighttime

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hikaritakaishi · 1 month

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Digimon Adventure 02: The Beginning [My Movie Review]

♡ ! SPOILER ALERT! ♡

This review will contain spoilers of the movie, continue reading if you already saw the movie, or just don’t mind the spoiler! Enjoy & comment something if you want to share an opinion! ♡

After what seemed ages of waiting, Digimon Adventure 02: The Beginning finally aired in Portugal, on May 16, 2024, several months after it’s national premiere in Japan, on October 27, 2023. I was worried that it wouldn't come to my country, but perhaps due to the huge acceptance of Digimon Adventure: LAST EVOLUTION KIZUNA, the distributor made the hearts of the DigiDestined from the most hidden corner of Europe warm again and brought us the sequel. Thank you remembering us once again! ♡

I really tried to keep my expectations as neutral as possible until the day I went to see the movie, which was pretty difficult, due to the fact that I was constantly being bombarded with online information about it, whether on Tumblr or Twitter, or through video recommendations on Youtube. I was so excited for the movie, that I had to control myself immensely not to go see the spoilers.

Initial considerations? I like it. In general. But let's go in parts!

This will be an analysis of what I consider to be the most important points of the movie and what caught my attention the most. A personal analysis, so don't take it too seriously if I don't talk about a certain point or a certain specific topic, I probably just missed that.

Firstly, I would like to comment on the initial dynamics of the movie.

Everything seems to happen much faster here than it did in Kizuna. Despite being two movies with practically the same time span, this one seemed to go by much faster. But it might just be me. [LAST EVOLUTION KIZUNA have 94 minutes, and The Beginning have 87 minutes total].

We're introduced to the key plot problem pretty quickly too.

People's digital devices are glitching, and the same message is repeating itself on all of them, not just on the phones and televisions, but on computers and large digital screens in cities all around the world. And this all around the world is very important, because it not only brings us closer to what will be the future of humanity and it’s increasing contact with the Digimon and the Digital World, but it opens the path we take since 2012 [time of the movie] until to the epilogue of 02 (which the production team and Toei animation seem to insist on wanting to keep canon, despite all the script inconsistencies it can cause, or how different from the initial profile of each character it may be).

“May everyone have friends, may everyone have a partner Digimon”

It's the message. Meanwhile, we are told that a suspicious and unknown Digitama appeared in the sky of Tokyo, right above the Tokyo Tower, and it’s been there for a while. Taichi and Koushiro are showned to be trying to help resolve this issue as professionals in the field of diplomacy and technology respectively, but without major progress.

I think it's important to highlight that they are the only two characters from the first season of Adventure who appear in this movie, and even so, without any direct speech or great relevance, beyond contextualization, and later Taichi as well again for the context of “space- time”, in that frame we see in the trailer of the movie with Hikari, which we later discover is located in Hikarigaoka, where Rui also lived when he had his first contact with Ukkomon.

The focus is on the characters from 02, or at least, it should have been. But as in Digimon Adventure Tri, this focus is overshadowed by the introduction of another new character in the story: Rui Owhada [or Lui, in Japanese pronunciation].

Rui [or Lui] is a much more charismatic character than Meiko was in Digimon Adventure Tri. There is no doubt about that.

Meiko was a somewhat empty character. A static character without great charisma. The only pleasant scenes she had were driven by the other characters around her (namely Mimi).

Rui doesn't. Rui is a character on his own. With a much more aggressive personality and a much more interesting past. The only issue here is the length of the movie: This movie is too short; too short for us to get attached to this character and actually be able feel empathy for everything we are shown about him. So short, that it's difficult to develop both this new character and the others around him, which, by the way, is a shame.

I mostly went to see the movie in hopes to see more from the 02 cast, and not because, again, of a random character they created for this new script. Just like what happened in Tri.

And this is important because notice that one of the most complex and best-built characters in the Adventure universe is literally the character with the most screen time: Takeru.

Analyzing Takeru's character as a whole is extremely time-consuming, because he was in every season, and practically involved in all the main events of the plot, either by himself or through the relationships he establishes throughout the plot, which feed the character's emotional charge. Which makes him a very complex character.

There's no time for that here. There is no time to establish a relationship between Rui and the other characters, nor to establish a relationship between Rui… and the audience.

Rui's childhood is very shocking and once again, Digimon brings a very strong narrative based on a complex and deep family plot.

We had already had examples in Adventure of family issues with Takeru and Yamato, Koushiro, and in 02 with Iori and also Ken. To a certain extent, even with Miyako. But here we reach a higher level of complexity... and violence (remember that the age to see the movie is over 12 years old. I can totally understand why).

Rui is physically abused and neglected by his mother, who leaves him out in the cold, starving when he makes a childish mistake or does something she doesn't like... when he is only four years old. His father has a very serious illness and depends on his wife to survive. Rui is then shown as a sorrowful child, lonely and without any support network. We've never had anything in the Digimon Adventure series so… raw. The aura of the movie is deeply heavy and dark.

The evolutions and battles in this movie are far from being the focus, which probably frustrated many people who went to see the movie for this more dynamic side of the anime.

It is a film with a moral content and even touches on the philosophical, about the bonds we create with others and their nature, about how we should relate to others and learn about them every day we have them in our lives.

It's about healthy communication, and how it's okay to correct the people around us, as long as it's made based with pure intentions. Because love is not omissive. Love corrects, love draws the other's attention for what really matters, in the form of love. In the form of companionship. Nothing physical or superficial is worth the price of a real bond.

The movie really grew with it’s audience. It is not, at all, a movie targeted for new fans of the franchise, or for those who know little about the Adventure series universe. It's for those who know the characters, for those who grew up with them. If you don't know the characters, you will miss details and conversations that are important to really understand the plot as a whole.

Daisuke and Ken look on Rui’s past with him. They see the arrival of Ukkomon in his life, who should’ve bring peace and comfort, but it is only the beginning of all his problems.

Let's take a break from the movie's plot to talk about the characters of 02.

I'm going to divide them into groups, because it seems like they individually… don't have much progress or very memorable scenes, honestly. It doesn't even make sense to separate them, in my opinion, and you'll understand why.

♡ Daisuke & Iori

There is not much to talk about them here. Daisuke and Iori are the flattest characters in the movie. Iori much more than Daisuke, let's be honest. Iori barely speaks, and has very few relevant scenes.

Daisuke works at a ramen restaurant, as he always wanted, where he gathers his friends to talk about the problems they are facing right at the beginning of the movie.

His personality is practically the same, Daisuke from 02 is the same Daisuke from The Beginning, and even the same character as in Kizuna, he is just taller here and wears different clothes. He still aspires to have his own ramen business and is extremely focused on his career goals. Which was predictable, given the way he talks about his dream in 02.

Daisuke's only two relevant scenes are seconds long: the first when he convinces Rui that the bond of friendship he and his Digimon partner share is much more than something superficial; it's something that comes from the heart, and that no object makes a difference between them, namely the Digivice, (something we also expected to hear from Daisuke in 02, which justifies my opinion that in the meantime... he remains the same).

The other is a scene that had enormous potential, but is cut short by a comical moment in which Miyako pops up.

Daisuke is talking to Ken seriously about Rui, and how he and his Digimon could understand each other better if they just communicate more effectively and directly, and Ken comments that Daisuke's more serious side is very pleasant and rarely appears. However, Miyako speaks up and dismisses the subject. Sadly.

We could have had a conversation here that could tell us more about Daisuke’s presente self and way he sees life now.

*sigh* Anyway.

Iori, again, doesn't speak much. Seems to only have intermediary interventions, and serves as a “pair” for Daisuke and Rui in the snowball fight that we see at the end of the movie. A very beautiful scene, don't get me wrong, but only if we see it from the perspective of Ken and Miyako, and Hikari and Takeru. I'll talk about that now.

♡ Ken & Miyako

Ken and Miyako are two characters who seem to grow more together than apart within the movie's plot. Which is natural, given that we know at the end of 02 that they become in fact a couple, and that they build a family together in the future. Here we see the first steps towards their future as a couple.

As expected, nothing explicit or direct is given to us about the nature of their relationship, but we can understand that there is progress, especially by the end of the movie, before the snowball fight, when Miyako tells Ken something that seems extremely vague, but actually means something.

“Let's do it together! " What? I don't think they are aware yet. Ken also seemed very confused about it.

“ Keep thinking Ken, we have to find another solution. “ We also see Miyako trying to support Ken at that moment when they have to make a decision about the future of Ukkomon and the world.

Here comes what I said above: Love cannot be omissive. We cannot expect the least from those we love. If we know the potential of the person we have by our side, we have to support them. If we see that they are trying to go further, we must support their journey and be a source of advice and rest. Alone we can go faster, but with the right company we can certainly go further.

And I think this is where the movie touches on something really important.

It is in these small moments that we see that they really want to tell the audience something beyond, but we need to have a fine power of perception.

No conversation or comment is random, everything contributes to the story. Digimon Adventure has always been made up of metaphors and subjectivities, it is necessary to know how to interpret and be attentive.

In the midst of that dilemma of whether or not to defeat Ukkomon that we talked about a moment ago in relation to Ken and Miyako, we have another moment that I consider important between Takeru and Hikari, which for those who don't know the characters, can take it as a normal conversation of two people who know each other well. Too well, even.

♡ Takeru & Hikari

Keeping in mind their journey, and everything they went through together, is the key to understand the nature of the relationship they share now. But before that:

Much like Ken and Miyako, Takeru and Hikari do not exist separately in the plot. It's ridiculously difficult to separate them. If you talk about one, you have to talk about the other.

At the beginning we see them together in the city when the electronic devices break down, and this dynamic continues throughout the entire movie.

They practically always walk side by side, Hikari takes the front seat in Takeru's car, and even when they are talking to Rui and trying to understand what happened to him in his past, they were a nucleus apart from the others. Nothing new, really. More of the same. But it's in that conversation I spoke about earlier that we understand something that is even part of the main moral of the movie: the way they now communicate with each other now, is different.

Anyone who has followed Takeru and Hikari throughout the series knows that the main “problem” in their relationship has always been direct communication.

Exposing things to others as they are is scary. And none of them were good at doing that.

Deliberating about feelings, exposing what disturbs us, what distresses us, what we think of a certain attitude of the other person. That was always Takeru and Hikari's problem and what hindered the possible evolution of their friendship, into a real love relationship.

In Tri we discover that Hikari starts to look at Takeru differently. And we know that Takeru has concrete feelings for Hikari (Said by the actor who plays Takeru's voice) And then? It's done? Things… are much more complicated than that.

They first need to accept the situation in question (And I tell you this as someone who also developed a romantic relationship with a childhood friend. It's not easy. Trust me. It's far from easy!)

And far from being quick.

It requires a lot of deliberation mostly. Just accepting the fact that we see that person we grew up with differently, someone who has always been part of our life, and we can lose them. Just because we developed feelings. Is scary. There's a lot to lose. It's all or nothing. Especially when one side has trauma associated with romantic relationships. (remembering that Takeru's parents are divorced) it's even worse.

What seems to exist between them in The Beginning was the result of a long process. But effective, it seems to me. Whatever decision they made, it went… pretty well.

Takeru is completely against defeating Ukkomon, from the moment he realizes that this could also imply the disappearance of his Digimon partner.

He probably saw the suffering Taichi and Yamato went through when Agumon and Gabumon disappeared and the suffering he would go through if he lose Patamon... again. And he is extremely vocal and firm in what he says and what he thinks about all of that. Impulsive really.

Until Hikari intervenes. Which cuts through his catastrophic reasoning. She asks him to think, opening up a new perspective on the situation.

Here we have a conversation between them that is quite lengthy (compared to the fast action standard of the rest of the movie) in which Hikari tries her best to make Takeru use reason and not emotion in his deliberation on the situation.

Takeru who, remember, whenever “darkness” or “sacrifice” is mentioned, leaves his rationality aside, becomes blind with pain because of his past traumas.

Hikari's role here is almost the same as Miyako’s in Ken's case: calling to earth and calming Takeru, always in an understanding way, because you can see that she knows where that feeling comes from and that position initially adopted by him (and it is something which she can almost predict would happen, by the speed with which she responds) but she knows that he is better than those triggers that make him impulsively speak based on emotion and neglect reason.

It's about getting to know each other. Knowing how to talk to our person about the most difficult topics. Because it is necessary to strengthen your union. Predict reactions, and be there to calm them down, because you may even know that the person is not to blame for the feelings and traumas they carry, but believe that they are bigger than them. And expect the same from the other side.

The way Miyako knew that Ken could find a solution, he just needed to think a little more. Hikari understood perfectly where Takeru's impulsive reaction came from, but she knew that if she appeal to his racional side he would be able to think of a better alternative to the problem, which he thought would be the end of the world.

That's why I separated this analysis into groups (although the first one isn't... substantial) and decided to analyze the characters together, because that's what this movie is about.

It's about who you are with your people, and the bond you share with them. In a world so individualized, so selfish and so distant (largely because of technology, which distances us from each other), I found it a very necessary message.

And the role of adults? With children and more painful lives?

It is to understand that children are also humans. Who also think, and feel, and understand things. Just like them. Adults tend to forget that they were once children themselves.

We already saw this topic being developed in Adventure 02, but seeing Rui as an adult, reaching to his mother in the past, and drawing her attention to the fact that she neglects her son, is something very touching. Sometimes, we just need a wake-up call, and we can change the future. Ours, and our future with others.

The DigiDestined of 02 encouraged Rui not to give up on someone he loved, Ukkomon, because after all, he only acted the way he acted because he thought it would make Rui happier, even though he failed. Several times.

Ukkomon basically gave Rui everything he thought he needed, everything he wanted. But this is not always ideal.

He acted with his partner's happiness in mind, and this blinded him to the risks he was putting him into. He idealized their entire relationship, and everyone's relationship with him. Instead of being, real. And real things are never perfect.

Rui wanted friends? He gave him friends. He even reprogrammed his parents. They became manufactured humans. And the movie is about reality and accepting it as imperfect as it is.

Do you know what that reminded me of? That whole fantasy created by Ukkomon of “perfect world where Rui is never sad and everything is wonderful?” The fantasies in which the characters from 02 cast were trapped in at the end of the series. That world created with the characters’ deepest desires.

Takeru wanted his family united. Iori wanted his father back and to be able to show him the Digital Word. Miyako wanted attention. Ken… wanted to redeem himself. Hikari wanted peace. It's exactly the same thing.

Think about it with me: For example, Takeru's parents could’ve stay together, they could never have divorced, but they would still have problems. They would argue, and there would be conflicts. Which doesn't mean that this wouldn't traumatize their children even more. Maybe the divorce was in fact the best option for all four of them.

Ken felt he deserved the same suffering he inflicted on others. Would that really be the answer to appease his soul?

But none of it was real.

Not even Hikari's utopia of a world constantly at peace is real. Not even the absence of siblings in Miyako's life would solve anything. Things are not black and white and really, what we want is not always what we need.

Rui just needed to talk to Ukkomon and be sincere.

Where is Mimi tho?!

I will end with a few quick notes that I think are worth highlighting: First, the music and animation in general. As expected, they are excellent.

Very well done visually, appealing scenes, and the last snowball fight scene is so simple… but so delightful.

Life is made up of beautiful moments as well as tragic moments, light and darkness.

Did you notice that part of the movie takes place in a much dark environment, and when the main action is resolved, the movie gains light? I believe that is not just because!

Visually it can be very strong because there is blood, there is violence, there are physical wounds, it conveys the affliction in a very literal way.

Another thing that was expected to happen, but that probably wasn't even thought of properly when the Epilogue of 02 was made, was the problematic of whether or not everyone deserves, has enough morals and ethics, to have a Digimon partner.

How do you maintain peace between humans when you give them free access to machines of war and mass destruction? How do we build the world we see bz the end of 02 where everyone lives in peace even under these circumstances? Which is the the role of the government?

We'll probably need one more movie to find out.

Honestly, I hope you enjoyed this short (not... that short in fact) and sincere review. If I were to give stars, I would give the film 4/5 stars.

It could’ve been better, sure, if there was at least another half hour of animation.

But I don't complain. Despite that, I liked it. I cried, I laughed, just like I cried and laughed when I saw Digimon in my childhood, and that's everything for me. I was surprised by the message of the movie and the way they chose to visually convey it to us. Either way, I hope there's one more movie. To finally conclude the arc of all these characters, and finally, reach the epilogue of 02 (but in a dignified way please).

♡ Thank you once again Digimon ♡

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kinnporsche · 2 years

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boc i’m begging you to release all the unused footage from the hidden messages trailer in high quality for my sanity. dear lord please i’ll do anything.

#kinnporsche #kinn x porsche #the hidden messages #video #leila.txt

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rainbowcolored7 · 1 year

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As much as I adore the show I wish it had been filmed more like the hidden messages trailer. Can you imagine how fucking insanely incredible and gritty and dirty the entire show would have been if it had been filmed that way?? Holding out hope for a bl or something to be filmed like that cause jfc. Nothing tops that. Nothing.

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #vegaspete #the hidden messages trailer my beloved #we have fic but god dayum

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liminalpebble · 6 months

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I Left the Lights on For You

Eddie Munson angst and comfort oneshot, Eddie x gender neutral reader, Eddie's a good friend and a sweetheart. Minors DNI

CW: Talk of depression around holidays, mental health issues, self-harm ideation (but not acted upon), drug use. (Positive ending, though) Minors DNI

Summary: The holidays are awful for you. In your darkest moment you turn to Eddie, your dealer, to get something stronger than the usual to ease the pain. Eddie, being no stranger to loneliness and sadness, senses something is very wrong and decides to reach out to you. Eddie Munson x gn reader.

A/N: Sorry for the dark subject matter folks, but I wanted to give some representation of how hard it is for many of us with mental illness this time of the year, and I'd like to think dear sweet Eddie would definitely hold our hands through this. Please, if you are feeling like this in real life, reach out to your friends here or in the 'real' world, to a hotline or a website. Hell, message me! Don't stay quiet and don't suffer alone. You're not bothering anyone. You're a beautiful human being who deserves love and care. Please, please stay. Here is a list of resources in various countries.

Much love,

Peb

I Left the Lights on for You

You trudged through the trailer park in search of Eddie's place, narrowly avoiding spots where black ice had plastered over the gravel of the lot. It wasn't that late but it felt like some kind of eternal arctic night as you trudged through the snowbanks and felt the icy air numb your face.

Having a weird sense of time and feeling numb were nothing new to you by now, albeit in a different way. This time of year was so miserable for you, but you kept that to yourself around everyone else, smiled and played along. Why spoil it for them? The few of “them” that were even there anymore. You'd done a pretty good job of shutting everyone out even before the Christmas depression put the cherry on top of that shitty mental illness sundae.

Even calling Eddie had been difficult. It'd been so long since you used your phone that it had begun to gather dust on the coffee table. You knocked the gray fuzz off with and dialed. Your fingers drummed nervously as the phone rang. Maybe he wouldn't pick up. Maybe this wasn't even his number anymore. Maybe he doesn't want to....

“Hello?” a cheery, lazy voice answered.

“Hey,” you breathed out, not sure if you were relieved or scared to talk to him, “ Hey Eddie, it's...”

“Aww. Sweetheart. Come on. I'd know that voice anywhere. How ya been? What can I do for you?”

You didn't know him that well. As with everyone, you kept him at an arm's length, but he had a persistent warmth about him, like he specifically wanted to thaw you out and liked the challenge. Despite your nerves you couldn't help but smile when he flirted. How long had it been since you smiled?

“Hey uh...well...my stash is running kinda low and I was wondering if you have anything? I'm sorry to call during Christmas break I know you and Wayne must be...you know...celebrating or whatever.”

Eddie busted out a bemused chuckle. You could practically see his big smile from the sound alone. “Nah, honey, don't worry about that. In fact, Wayne moved out with his sweetheart so I'm here all by my lonesome and Christmas isn't exactly my thing. Fucking hate it, actually.”

“Fuck, me too.” you said, with a relieved exhale. “It's nice to hear someone else feels the same way.”

“What was that? I didn't catch what you said after 'fuck me too'.”

You chuckled, “Oh fuck you, Munson.”

“Gladly.”

You were laughing hard now. A genuine laugh. It felt amazing.

“Listen. Why don't you come by the trailer? It's a little cold to do business in the woods.”

Your jaw clenched. You'd never been to Eddie's place. You'd only ever met on neutral ground, specifically, at the picnic table hidden in the trees. This felt oddly personal...intimate.

“Uh...are you sure? I don't want to impose.”

“No! Not at all. I got nothing going on and I'm bored out of my mind. Come on by. I can even smoke you out if you'd like.”

“Uh thanks. That's really nice of you. I'll be there soon, okay. Just gotta get myself together. Which number is your place?”

“Just look for the lights. I'll leave 'em on for you.”

You scrunched your face up in confusion, “Won't everyone have lights up? How will I know which is yours?”

He chuckled again. “Oh you'll know. Trust me. See you soon, sweetheart.”

----

You decided Eddie didn't need to know that just “getting yourself together” would be an ordeal. How long had it been since you showered? Since you'd eaten? What day was it anyway? Settling back into the oppressive darkness within yourself, after the flicker of Eddie's light, made it seem all the darker by contrast; suffocating.

Come on. Not long now. Just get it together...just once more.

The warm shower did feel nice. So did the clean clothes. You stared at yourself in the foggy mirror for a long time. Your own face, blurred around the edges stared back. That seemed appropriate. Seeing your tired eyes and drab shapeless clothes, you felt like a ghost in a human costume; like this was some kind of backwards Halloween. It felt weird and wrong and ill-fitting to try to be a person right now, nonetheless you grabbed your things and hurried out before you could convince yourself not to go.

----

And here you were, swaddled deep in your parka, weaving through a trailer park full of the tackiest yuletide displays you'd ever laid eyes on. Just when you thought you'd never find the one you were looking for, a eerie crimson gleam caught your eye.

Eddie Munson was standing in the doorway of his trailer, surrounded by strand after strand of entirely-red Christmas lights, punctuated by the glowing motifs of pentagrams or skulls. He gave a smirk and opened his arms in a showman's gesture, proud of his handiwork.

“What do you think?”

You giggled. “I love it” you answered, as you pattered onto the porch, eyes wide.

He held the door for you in a gentlemanly gesture, ushering you into the balmy warmth of the trailer.

You don't know what you were expecting of Eddie Munson's habitat but “clean” was certainly not it. Glancing around, you could see that the place was shabby but very clean and tidy, and the tangy smell of lemony soap told you it was recently scrubbed.

“Did...did you just clean for me?”

His cheeks went red and he nervously tousled his hair, “Yeah. I didn't want you to run away screaming because of my gross bachelor pad.”

He looked so cute...devastatingly cute, with his red cheeks, dimpled smile, pajama pants and Garfield slippers. You'd never seen him like this. Every time you'd met before he was all decked out in chains, leather, and ripped jeans (although he was pretty great to look at in that too). You had the thought, not for the first time, that he would be great to look at in or out of anything.

You waved a hand dismissively “Eddie, you really didn't need to do that. My place is a disaster...just like me. I promise I wouldn't have cared.”

He smirked at that but then his big brown eyes scanned you. He could see the dark circles under your eyes, the twitch in your clenched jaw, the way your fingers and feet drummed and fidgeted. This was familiar to Eddie. He knew where you were at immediately because he'd been there himself, and he knew it felt like the bottom of the world.

He cocked his head sideways and looked down at you as he asked a softly, “Hey...are you okay?”

You twitched as if struck, blinked a few times, mustered yet another artificial smile, and nodded like a bobble-head. “Yeah! Yeah...of course. Totally...totally fine.”

He nodded, but his expression was still skeptical. “Well, can I get you something to drink? It's cold out there. Want some coffee or hot chocolate or...”

Your heart was beginning to ache at his kindness; kindness you didn't feel you were worthy of. You had to do what you came here for before you were distracted by it. “No...no. Sorry. Thank you but no.. just ah...let me know what I owe you and I'll leave you alone,” you said, gesturing to the little plastic bag of dried leaves between you.

“No! Really. You don't have to go! I promise. Unless you...you know...don't wanna spend anymore time with The Freak than necessary.” he said with an edge of hurt in his voice.

You came closer and grabbed his arm gently, assuring him, “No! No, Eddie, it's not like that. It's not that at all. You're so...you're so kind. I just...I'm not great company.”

He held both your shoulders, met your eyes with his sincere dark chocolate ones, and said, “You're perfect company. I promise. I'd been wanting to get to know you better and this is nice. Sit tight, take your coat off. I'll heat some cider and roll us a joint.”

You relaxed after his reassuring touch, peeled off your coat, then watched as he puttered around the kitchen. How long had it been since someone touched you? Talked with you? Assured you that you weren't a bother? Could he know how much that meant to you? You hadn't been able to feel much of anything lately except a blunt despair, and you hardly ever cried, so it surprised you when you felt the warm saline misting your tear ducts. You swallowed hard against the lump in you throat, attempting to talk around it. Thankfully his back was turned, so he wouldn't see your troubled face as you inquired, “Actually Eddie, I was wondering...do you have anything stronger?”

He paused with his back to you; movements stopping abruptly to listen closely. “Uh, I'm not sure. I might. What do you have in mind?”

You swallowed. “Ketamine...Vicodin...anything like that.”

He turned around now, brow scrunched and mouth dropped open as he thought, weighing his words and yours. “How much are you thinking? You gotta be careful with that stuff, you know. Space it out. Or with Vicodin...shit...I wouldn't go near that, honey.”

“As much as you can give me” you replied flatly, trying to keep the emotion from your voice.

“Why?” he asked slowly, eyes boring into you. You could tell, even though your gaze was on the floor, glaring hard at the tawny shag carpet.

“I just don't sleep right. You know? I'm nervous all the time. I'm just so...I need something to...to make it stop. Listen, I know it's expensive and I brought the cash for it, so please just...”

Eddie came up closer to you now. Before you knew it, you were mere centimeters from his chest, a Motorhead tee shirt dominating your field of vision. He smelled like detergent and cigarettes and warm skin and you wanted more than anything to snuggle into him forever. He took your face gently in both hands and guided your gaze up to his.

“Honey, look at me. Don't look away, okay?”

All you could do was nod, and swallow down the lump in your throat as you met his gaze. Eddie felt his heart break a little when he saw your beautiful eyes well up and spill over. He stroked your cheeks and said, “Just let it out and let me hold you. You've been holding onto it alone for too long.”

Before you knew it, you were heaving huge gasping sobs into his chest as his long arms encircled you. You panted and coughed like you had been drowning and finally...finally...had breached the surface as your rescuer pulled you up. He thought you felt so small and fragile, shuddering in his arms. He picked up one of his hoodies from the couch and draped it around you shoulders as he sat you down next to him.

When you were finally able to speak again you said in a raspy whisper, “I'm sorry, Eddie. I didn't mean to...”

“Shhhh. Cut that shit. I want you to be here. I'm glad I could be here for you.”

“Please, don't pity me.”

“I don't. I've just been where you're at,” he said knowingly, kissing your forehead and stroking his hand up and down your back in comforting little rubs. “Listen, I've always liked you a lot. I really wanted to get to know you but I thought you'd never want to hang out because I'm weird and intimidating.”

You laughed at that. “No! I was being the weird one. I never found you intimidating. You're so sweet, Eddie. I just couldn't...I was stuck inside...you know.”

He met your eyes, and his plush pink lips gave you a sweet smile. “Yeah. I know exactly the feeling. So please...just please stay. Talk to me. It'll be alright again one of these days. It really will. But for now let's just get through tonight.”

You nodded, wrapping the big hoodie around yourself like a security blanket. “Thank you,” you said and kissed him on the cheek.

“I got you, sweetheart. I'll always leave the light on for ya.”

@leelei1980 @msgexymunson @take-everything-you-can @loz-3 @veemoon @elegantkoalapaper @ladyofthestayingpower @hellfirenacht @sweetsigyn @itsfreakingbats @fairyysoup @joejoequinnquinn @josephfakingquinn @eddies-house

#eddie munson x you #eddie munson x gn!reader #eddie munson comfort #eddie munson angst and comfort #eddie is a sweetheart #eddie is a goofball #mental illness #seasonal depression comfort #eddie is a great friend

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