#high-performance EV

[theautoobserver]

Jeep Wagoneer S Unveiled: An Electrifying American Alternative to the Range Rover Velar

In a recent turn of events, images of the highly anticipated all-electric Jeep Wagoneer S were inadvertently shared on Jeep's social media platforms before being swiftly removed. Despite the deletion, the digital world ensured their permanence, offering the public an early peek at this groundbreaking SUV. Initially spotted by Mopar Insiders, these images emerged just a week after Jeep teased the vehicle, sparking widespread interest.

The Wagoneer S marks a departure from traditional Jeep designs, embracing a more streamlined and elegant aesthetic. This evolution in styling seems to draw inspiration from industry competitors, notably exhibiting elements reminiscent of Range Rover models. The rear profile bears a striking similarity to the Velar, while the intricate detailing echoes the Evoque's design. Additionally, the front fascia subtly nods to the Land Rover Range Stormer concept.

Aerodynamic efficiency is at the forefront of the Wagoneer S design, as evidenced by features like recessed door handles. The SUV also sports a distinctive rear spoiler that merges seamlessly with the roof trim, extending over the rear windshield. This design choice not only enhances the vehicle's sporty demeanor but also maintains a traditional SUV silhouette while offering a more modern, coupe-like profile. This could potentially improve range, albeit possibly at the expense of interior headroom.

The Wagoneer S also boasts an attractive two-tone paint option, a panoramic sunroof, and a faux front grille with Jeep's iconic seven-slot design, further enhancing its visual appeal.

Despite sharing the Wagoneer name, the electric iteration stands apart from its full-size counterparts, the Wagoneer and Grand Wagoneer. It aligns more closely in size with the Grand Cherokee, defying initial size expectations.

Jeep promises impressive performance with the Wagoneer S's dual-motor 4xe drivetrain, delivering an estimated 600 horsepower and a swift 0-60 mph acceleration in just 3.5 seconds. This suggests a focus on on-road performance for this electric vehicle.

However, true to its Jeep heritage, the Wagoneer S is equipped to handle mild off-road challenges, featuring a standard all-terrain management system. For those seeking a more robust electric off-roading experience, Jeep hints at the upcoming Recon model, also slated for release this year.

The Wagoneer S will be Jeep's debut fully electric vehicle in the U.S. market, following the Avenger EV in Europe. Production is set to take place at the Toluca Assembly Plant in Mexico. The vehicle is based on Stellantis' STLA Large architecture, which is expected to be the foundation for several new EVs by 2026.

[carsthatnevermadeitetc]

Audi RS e-tron GT, 2024. Audi have revealed revisions to their electric flagship sports saloon including improved charging and a power boost ti 845hp for the RS model. There's also a new Performance version with 912hp

[techdriveplay]

The Top Concept Cars of 2024

In the ever-evolving world of automotive design and technology, 2024 has brought a plethora of groundbreaking innovations that have captured the imagination of car enthusiasts and industry experts alike. The top concept cars of 2024 are not just futuristic in design but also incorporate cutting-edge technology that redefines the driving experience. These concept cars offer a glimpse into the…

[wigoutlet]

[rockyy133]

The shocking truth about EV batteries: 1000 km on just 10 min! | Carcastics

now there's a new technology that could make that possible! In this video, we'll explain the stunning new solid state battery technology and show you how it works. This technology has the potential to revolutionize the way we use electric vehicles, and we'll explain how in this video. So be sure to watch it to learn about this groundbreaking new battery technology!

[monicascot]

The shocking truth about EV batteries: 1000 km on just 10 min! | Carcastics

Have you ever wished you could drive your car for 1000km without needing to recharge? Well, now there's a new technology that could make that possible! In this video, we'll explain the stunning new solid state battery technology and show you how it works.

[mpcomagnetics]

Permalloy Foil with Magnetic Noise Suppression effect at low frequencies

Permalloy Foil with Magnetic Noise Suppression effect at low frequencies Contributing to weight and thickness reduction of devices used for electric and autonomous vehicles Daido Steel Co., Ltd. (President: Takeshi Ishiguro) has launched a new product “STARPAS®-50PC2S”, permalloy*1 foil this month, which has excellent performance in suppressing EMC noise*2 (mainly magnetic noise) at low…

[vroomvroomwee]

Crowley is Lucifer

(Ok I know some of you don't believe this theory but I highly suggest you give this a quick read anyway. I tried to make it short and easy and I'll be going chronologically, from s1 all through s2)

- First, let's get this out of the way, Lucifer and Satan aren't neccesarilly the same person. Even in the show the devil that appeared in s1 has only ever been reffered to as Satan, not even once as Lucifer.

- In the bible Lucifer was the one to tempt Eve with the apple, and who do we know that does that in the show. Crowley is literally THE snake from Eden.

- An obvious one perhaps, but the red hair is also a giveaway

- In the bible Jesus was tempted by the devil for 30 days, in the show Crowley says "I showed him all the kingdoms of the world", so that's another role Lucifer has that Crowley had in the show

- It's well known (even mentioned in the Sandman) that Lucifer was the most beautiful of all angels, and our demon is played by no other than David Tennant

Now on to season 2 because there's a LOT to unpack here

- He litterally started the engine of the universe which was one of Lucifers roles

- He's the first to say "let there be light", which is pretty fucking huge since that is Gods line

- "I worked closely with upstairs on it" even in the first scene they're telling us Crowley is an angel of very very high rank

- He fell for asking questions, which is litterally what Lucifer fell for, for questioning God. This in and of itself should be a pretty big indicator. "I only ever asked questions"

- Shax: "a miracle of enourmous power only the mightiest of archangels can perform"

Crowley: "How do you know I didn't do it"

And Shax just... doesn't counter that. She looks even skeptical, as if it COULD be a possibility, unlike Uriel who says to Aziraphale don't excpect us to believe you did it. Shax litterally doesn't shut the option down which confirms Crowley has the power not only of an archangel but of the mightiest kind

- In the bookshop with Gabriel/Jim he says "I don't remember. It [gravity] seemed like a good idea when we were all talking about it"

- "You're welcome to come in, you might even spot an archangel" don't tell me this was Crowley just egging Shax on and not being sneaky

- The fact that he could sense the demons coming. "Somethings wrong""It's coming in waves", when Aziraphale couldn't. It could be a demon thing but we saw Sandalphon, an archangel of lower rank, in the first season mention "something smells evil" so obviously angels can sense demons too, they just have to be powerful enough. And keep in mind Sandalphon was already in the book shop for quite some time, Crowley sensed them even before they had arrived (he also sensed the hell hound who was some fucking miles away)

- The.fucking.folder. "You have to be a throne or dominion above" and this dude opens these clasified documents like it's nothing. If this isn't an indicator of his high position as an angel I don't know what is.

- He's worked with Saraqael, another very high ranking angel

- "I'm the only first order archangel in the room"... and the camera imediately pans to Crowley, and for anyone who's read the book and watched the show you know that rarely anything is coincidental

- When the Metatron says they can't lose another prince of heaven. This... this fucking line. So it's relatively well known that Gabriel and Lucifer are brothers, and if Gabriel is one of the princes of heaven I wonder who the other one could be. "Two princes of heaven". And the Metatrons words were very careful, he doesn't say lost as in heaven can't find him, he says it in the context that they won't be sending Gabriel to hell since they won't lose another prince to downstairs

- In the bookshop when no one can identify the Metatron he turns to Crowley who imediately recognises him. Now you have this dude, who's literally on top of the angel hierarchy and is responsible for running heaven and the connection to God themself, surrounded by archangels and a principality you spoke to face to face with just a few years ago and... none of them can tell who you are, the only one who does is the literal demon. That tells us that Crowley has not only seen him in this form, but has probably worked with the Metaron himself personally. "Always asking damn fool questions", 10 million angels and he remembers what this one particular angel was like 6000 years ago

- Crowley is also very reluctant to reveal his identity as an angel. Now if he were just an ordinary angel of no real significance he wouldn't have a problem revealing his name, but... if his name was one that's the literal representation of all evil in this world, then it is understandable he keeps it a secret, in fear he might scare Aziraphale away

- And I wanted to leave the best for last. So you remember in the book when Crowley has to sign his name to start Armaggedon, and Hastur tells him "no, your real name" after which he reluctantly writes it. Now in the book we never see him write anything, but in the show we see him write a sygil, something that looks very mich like an L. An L... A FUCKING L. And now I wonder how this theory didn't come up sooner.

(Also he can fucking stop time, like dafuq)

Edit:

- "Oh looky here it's Lucifer and the guys" we all thought he was talking about someone else, he's just refferencing things other angels have said about HIM. FUCK

- I keep seing people saying Crowleys memories were wiped because he couldn't remember Saraqael and Furfur. But I think people forget, demons lie. He's lying to make them think he's not that angel they worked with, that he's not Lucifer. (In season 1 we hear him a few times refferencing his life as an angel, so he does remember most of it)

- Also saying if the Raphael theory were true then as showrunners they would have mentioned him somewhere for those not that familiar with the bible (or don't read much fanfiction). The refferences for Crowleys past are so so vague that it would be too sudden and confusing if he were Raphael. But there is one name that everyone is familiar with, no matter who you are how old you are or where you're from, a name that needs no introduction.

Edit 2:

- Back to him being the most beautiful angel, I don't think it was ever quite explained how every single demon when they're in hell looks... awful, but Crowley doesn't. Beelzebub has the spores all over their face, Hastur the maggots and the sh-, Dagon the scales etc. But Crowley doesn't, not even when he's in hell, he's always just so, well, pretty.

- I saw a few people asking about how Lucifer started the rebellion and Crowley wouldn't do that. I think it's the same Crowley who wouldn't get stuck in traffic after creating the M25, or the same Crowley that wanted to call Aziraphale after bringing down the entire London network, "you told them you invented the spanish inquisition, and started the second world war""so the humans beat me to it that's not my fault", "so all this is your demonic work?""no, the humans thought it up themselves nothing to do with me"

- Also I think Satan's in charge of hell not Crowley the same way the Metatron's in charge of heaven and not Gabriel (and who can very easily demote angels if he so wishes)

Edit 3:

- like some of you pointed out Lucifer is also known/means Light-bringer. And Crowley was the first to say "let there be light."

- The file he opens with Muriel is Gabriels file, a class A archangel, so if he knows the password to that it means that either he's on the same level as Gabriel, or above him.

[natalievoncatte]

“Kara?”

She doesn’t answer. Lena’s presence doesn’t surprise her; Kara Danvers always knows where Lena Luthor is, at least as long as there’s a way for the sound of her heart to find Kara’s ears, no matter how soft or faint it might be. In her ruminations Kara thinks on that before she speaks. Even when they were at their worst, when they were hurting each other in every way that mattered, Kara would stop and listen.

It was a secret and sacred thing, a transgression that she would never admit. She would confess to scoping Lena out with her x-ray vision first. She’d never actually done that, but she’d pretend-admit before confessing that, sometimes, she’d listen to Lena’s heart as she slept and drift off to its slow and steady beat.

They’re by the sea, at the Danvers family home. It’s been a year since Alex and Kelly married and a small, core group have gathered here in this house by the waves to celebrate the anniversary. It’s just Alex and Kelly of course and Esme, and Lena and Kara. And Eliza.

She lives here, after all.

Nia and Brainy are in town in an AirBnB, and they’ve been by the house but are mostly doing their own thing. They’ll marry soon, Kara thinks. They have that air about them, the way that Alex and Kelly did before the proposal.

There is a sense of finality to it all that has fallen over Kara like the shadow of a passing storefront, and she sits where she can watch the ocean waves roll in, chin propped on arms resting on knees, curled up and watching the waves reach the high water mark and roll back.

Lena stands beside her now, seemingly unconcerned that Kara hasn’t answered her. This happens a lot now. There are companionable silences. Lena spends half her days in Kara’s home, working from a laptop on Kara’s kitchen counter while Kara writes at the kitchen table.

A lot has happened. Cat Grant offered her the role of EIC at CatCo; Kara rejected it. She’d mad furtive plans to reveal her identity, then canceled them. She’d told Cat but asked that it end there and Cat had respected it, then gone on an esoteric retreat at an eel farm or… something. Kara still submitted articles to CatCo but on a freelance basis, and she was submitting more articles elsewhere lately.

Actually, very little had happened. Kara had more time to really write, now. She put on her suit and flew out the window less and less, being less needed.

Lena sits down next to her and assumes a similar pose. Kara can’t help but look at her; she has never been able to resist looking at Lena Luthor. That too has changed. She doesn’t steal a glance this time, she studies, lets her gaze linger. She looks at the way the light of the golden hour plays with Lena’s soft, easy beauty. Her sort-of-roommate skipped putting on makeup this morning and her hair is down in a mop of air-dried dark curls, some of them lazily riding the breeze around her head. Some of it falls across her face and Kara fights the urge to sweep it back with a soft brush of her fingers.

Lena is beautiful. The warm light makes her pale skin glow, brings out the sparkle in her blue-green eyes, as deep as the sea they watch. There is a soft playful hint of a smile on her lips, but her brows are furrowed.

Kara thinks back to the last time she spoke to J’onn. She told the man, the closest thing she had left to a father in the world, about how she was wearing the cape less and working more, about Lena, about how Alex and Kelly seemed to be moving on, both of them now retired from the insanity of her lives and Alex actually planning to practice medicine.

“That’s what happens,” J’onn told her. “Things pass. Stories end. The great deeds are done, the archenemies vanquished, the miracles all performed. After that is just life.”

Kara wasn’t sure what that meant. In her life -almost sixty years, that she’d experienced as less than thirty- she’d packed in the experiences of a hundred lifetimes. She’d watched her world die, found her family, lost them, made a new one. She’d loved and lost and she’d even died- twice. She’d spent two eternities in her own personal hell.

Kara lets out a slow sigh. She’s still looking at Lena.

They have to have this conversation. Kara just doesn’t know what to say or how to say it. The problem is obvious. Lena and Kara had arrived this morning a few hours after Kelly and Alex, and found that Eliza had, as to be expected, already planned out who was bunking where.

“Alex and Kelly have Alex’s old room,” Eliza had told them, after hugging Lena. “Esme has Kara’s old room, and you and Lena can take the guest bedroom.”

When the words left her foster mother’s mouth, Kara’s heart raced. If Lena thought anything of it, she gave no sign. Kara was on the verge of panic.

Eliza had given the two of them a room with one bed. A small room, a shared room that would give two people no privacy.

Does she think we’re…?

Kara had considered the possibility before. She wasn’t blind or oblivious to a fluttering heart beat or lip bites or long stares, but…

“I’m scared,” Kara says, and she looks away.

She can feel Lena looking at her, gaze unwavering.

“What about?”

Kara swallows hard. She doesn’t know if Lena realizes what Eliza has assumed yet, if she’s put it together. She must have, because she came out here looking for Kara. Kara hadn’t run away exactly, but she had fled. She needed to think.

“One thing I’ve learned,” Kara says, “is that once you say something, you can’t un-say it. You can’t change the truth once it’s been told.”

Lena nods softly. She knows. They learned the same lesson from the same cruel trick.

“Do you know why I held on to my secret for so long?”

“You always said it was to protect me, and I didn’t accept that. Then when…” Lena pauses heavily, “when we moved on, I never really asked again.”

Kara swallows. “I lied. I did it for me.”

Lena says nothing.

“I was scared. I was afraid that once I told you, it would be the same with you as it was with everyone else. Once people know Kara is Supergirl, then Kara stops being Kara. Kara is just Supergirl’s real name.”

Kara’s breath hitches. She glances at Lena, who watches intently.

“I was wrong. I should have known better. I should have trusted you.”

“Yes,” said Lena. “You should have. I should have tried to understand you. To understand why instead of projecting my own insecurities onto your choice. But it doesn’t matter anymore. I forgave you.”

Waves crash in the silence.

“I would forgive you anything.”

“Even beating the last potsticker?”

“I’m serious, Lena.”

Lena sighs. “Are we going to talk about it?”

“You saw the room.”

Lena nods.

“Your mom seems to be assuming that we share a bed,” Lena says.

Kara swallows hard.

“The last time I was with Nia, she asked when I’m selling the penthouse, because she assumed I’ve been planning to move into your loft.”

Kara groped her knees because her hands are shaking. She grips her knees to stop them but it makes her legs shake instead.

Lena shifts closer, scooting across the grass. She’s not touching Kara but it feels like she is. Her touch becomes and threatens. They share space, the sea breeze passing over them as one. Lena looks at her through a tangle of inky curls and her eyes are infinite, searching Kara for something.

“I have deemed a dream,” Kara whispers. “I fear if I dream it too deeply I’ll suddenly wake, and when I wake it’ll be gone the way dreams always are, and it will fade as fast as any dream. The thought of losing it hurts so bad it makes it feel like my chest is caving in.”

Kara looks at Lena now. She looks so young, she is young. Her power suits and makeup and air of command and defiance all make her seem almost matronly but here with Kara that mask is gone and beneath it is her true self, her secret self that not even their friends see, a young girl who’s never been young.

Just like Kara.

“What if you woke up and the dream came true?”

“Sometimes,” Kara admits, “I wonder if you’re real. I used to dream of things when I floated in my pod and they seemed so real…”

“It’s real, Kara,” Lena whispers, soft and breathy. “It’s real and I’m not going anywhere. Nothing has to change. It’s just going to evolve. I know what you want to say and I’ve been scared of it too. What you’re saying, I can feel it in my soul… when the Luthors took me in, I used to dream that my mom was alive. I’d wake up smelling breakfast and hearing her sing and when I realized it was just a dream it was like she died again every morning.”

“I love you.”

Lena stares at her. Kara hears Lena’s steady pulse flutter and begins to stammer.

“I know I’ve said it before. I mean I’m in love with-“

Lena presses a finger to her lips.

“I know. Stop telling me and show me.”

Kara freezes, not sure what she meant. Lena twisted languidly and leaned towards her. Kara freezes briefly and then just lets go, moving on instinct. Using a little strength she pulls Lena into her lap, gently touches her chin, and tilts her back a touch, to kiss her.

It is at once tentative and soft and absolutely explosive. Kara forces back tears, as Lena embraces her with all her strength, molding herself to Kara as if she means to climb inside her. For all her urgency, her kiss is just as delicate, just as tender and exploratory.

It is as it has always been. They compliment each other perfectly, moving together without a word needed, Kara breaks the kiss because Lena needs air and lowers her to the grass, fully on top of her now, brushing lose strands of hair back from her face to kiss her again and again and again, each kiss ah apology, each brushing of lips a lament for time lost.

They could have been doing this for years.

Lena arches under her, grinding hungrily, kissing her furiously. She moans softly as Kara’s hands find bare skin and Kara murmurs a Kryptonian prayer against her lips, and her thighs rise to bracket Kara’s hips.

Kara feels it all. The desire, the lust, the need, and above all the unbridled joy. This is no dream. It’s real. It’s happening. It’s…

“Eww,” Alex says.

Kara snaps up, acutely aware that her hand is halfway up Lena’s now-askew top, and that Lena has leg-locked them together. Lena lets her head fall back and peers up at Alex.

“Eliza sent me to find you two. Dinner is ready,” Alex sighs, then turns, muttering,

“Get a room. Sheesh.”

Lena cracks first, unleashing a gale of laughter.

“Let me go,” she protests.

Kara lets her…. briefly. Play-wrestling ensues, and Lena just know that Kara is letting her win as they roll in the grass, but it no longer matters. Lena is flushed and grass-stained and joy burns her in her eyes and-

“Come on!” Alex bellows.

Kara helps her up, and they head for the house.

[fastandcarlos]

Wholesome Weekends : ̗̀➛ Alex Albon

summary: a rare weekend away brings some quality time for alex and y/n to make a few more memories

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by alex_albon, logansargeant and 90,486 others

ynusername: making the most of the next few days with you, can’t wait to have you to myself for the whole weekend ❤️

8,391 comments

alex_albon: can’t wait to spend every day waking up next to you

username1: my heart can’t take how cute these two are

username2: do we get to see alex’s pov of photo 1??

logansargeant: can’t wait to hear all about your trip ☺️

landonorris: can you stop making all us single people feel even more lonely please

ynusername: @/landonorris maybe one day you’ll find your own alex albon too 😂

username3: can’t wait for the spam to start

username4: have you ever seen a guy more in love 🤔

carmenmmundt: promise to compare trip notes in miami next week?

ynusername: @/carmenmmundt yessssss! hope you and george have the best time 🩷

username5: we want to hear all about the trip too!

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 483,300 others

alex_albon: adventuring with my girl…could life get any better? ✈️

48,102 comments

landonorris: you could be adventuring with me instead 🤷🏻

alex_albon: @/landonorris my question was if life could get better, not worse 😂

username6: lando forever getting rinsed as the single friend lmao

username7: if you’re ever looking for a third wheel…I’m here 👋🏻

ynusername: i definitely don’t think my life could get any better my love 🥰

alex_albon: @/ynusername ❤️❤️❤️❤️

oscarpiastri: don’t forget to visit that cafe I suggested!

username8: oh to fly anywhere in the world with alex albon 🫠

username9: y/n forever getting those perfect boyfriend angles of alex

danielricciardo: these photos are almost alex.jpg worthy bro

alex_albon: @/danielricciardo inspired by the best 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, lance_stroll and 738,595 others

alex_albon: first things first, a quick pit stop to visit our babies 🥺🩷

78,499 comments

maxverstappen1: now this is my kinda content!!

username10: alex + cats = the perfect photo

username11: I want to be held just like how alex holds his babies

oscarpiastri: you look happier to see the cats then they do you 😂

alex_albon: @/oscarpiastri they were just posing for the camera 📸

username12: I love how they still prioritise the cats and shower them with so much love

ynusername: I didn’t want to move with all their cuddles 😭

username13: can you adopt me like you adopt all your fur babies??

estebanocon: how have you never introduced me to these cuties before 😣

username14: okay but who has cuter cats…max or alex?

alex_albon: @/username14 🙋🏽🙋🏽🙋🏽

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by pierregasly, carmenmmundt and 103,853 others

ynusername: I’d let you take me anywhere as long as I’m with you ☺️

22,939 comments

landonorris: eurgh enough with the soppy posts now

ynusername: @/landonorris you’ve got a whole weekend of this to enjoy my friend ☺️

username15: the holding hands, I repeat, the holding hands

alex_albon: the feeling is mutual babe 💕

username16: idek which of those photos has the better view

logansargeant: two hands on the wheel at all times, did you learn nothing from your driving instructor??

alex_albon: @/logansargeant you saw nothing, my hands are on 10 and 2 always 😂

username17: not logan scolding alex like he’s the perfect driver

username18: ultimate passenger princess mode activated

charles_leclerc: how come you’ve never offered to drive me around like this?

alex_albon: @/charles_leclerc I’ll hold your hand whenever you want sweet cheeks

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by charles_leclerc, georgerussell63 and 628,940 others

alex_albon: exploring with my favourite is an exhausting job but I wouldn’t have it any other way 🥰

63,493 comments

username19: pls lord let me have a boyfriend as sweet as alex

danielricciardo: you’re giving us high performing athletes a bad name sitting down on the job 😂

alex_albon: @/danielricciardo ever been a walk with y/n before?? she’s like a machine 😅

username20: I never want this weekend of photos to end

username21: y/n are you willing to loan alex out to a single gal pls?

pierregasly: damn make sure you get those leg muscles flexing brother

logansargeant: don’t let the boss see you sat down and relaxing 😉

alex_albon: @/logansargeant this is harder work than anything we do I swear

username22: they’re just everything

username23: these photos are making my heart so happy

ynusername: hurry up and catch up with me loser rather than posting on instagram 🏃🏻‍♀️

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by logansargeant, landonorris and 93,504 others

ynusername: to anyone from williams looking at our weekend, I promise I’m still working him hard 💪🏻

9,408 comments

username24: you’re not convincing anyone y/n 😂

username25: poor alex never truly gets a day off

landonorris: what exercises were you doing? a lot of staring I imagine

ynusername: @/landonorris mind your damn business 🤫

username26: who knew gym alex was so attractive 😅

username27: if you ever need a workout buddy alex, I’ll sign up for free

alex_albon: best workout partner ever 🤩

maxverstappen1: true dedication to the job there buddy

carmenmmundt: george had me in the gym this morning too 😅 the perks of dating an f1 driver

ynusername: @/carmenmmundt usually I’d complain…but the sights I got to see this morning were pretty cool 🫠

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by logansargeant, carlossainz55 and 548,605 others

alex_albon: like any good weekend plenty of food has been demolished ❤️

47,963 comments

ynusername: as handsome as you are…that food was something else ☺️

alex_albon: @/ynusername agreed!! thanks @/oscarpiastri for the recommendation

oscarpiastri: @/alex_albon I knew you guys would love it

username28: now that’s the smile of a guy who knows his food

username29: how is everyone sleeping how cute y/n looks in that photo

lance_stroll: wherever this is dude you need to tell me!

charles_leclerc: you gonna make weight in miami after consuming that?? 😂

alex_albon: @/charles_leclerc honestly its touch and go

username30: I love how much of a foodie alex is…a guy after my own heart

yukitsunoda0511: I still need to cook for you guys! I’ll show you a proper meal

alex_albon: @/yukitsunoda0511 that’s an offer that I could never say no to 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by alex_albon, danielricciardo and 78,390 others

ynusername: sun, sea and 🤫, the perfect end to the perfect weekend ☺️💕

29,503 comments

danielricciardo: now that’s my kinda caption 😂

username31: y/n wtf I thought you were better than this

landonorris: I really hope you’re not implying what I think you’re implying

username32: farewell to y/n’s pg era

yukitsunoda0511: someone might have to fill me in here 😣

username33: @/yukitsunoda0511 no don’t let anyone take your adorable innocence from you

alex_albon: thank you for the most incredible weekend bub 💕

alex_albon: ps thank you for making my back look insane in all these photos 🔥

ynusername: @/alex_albon I did nothing…you can thank my handsome model 🥰

username34: how can two people be so beautiful

iamrebeccad: my girl you are looking insane 🔥

logansargeant: nice to see all that time in the gym paying off 😂

username35: @/logansargeant doesn’t sound like they’re just working out in the gym either

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by oscarpiastri, alexandrasaintmleux and 179,493 others

ynusername: and it all got too much for little alex albon 💤

37,592 comments

georgerussell63: hahahahahah y/n you’re the best!!

oscarpiastri: and the award for best caption goes to…

username36: not y/n exposing herself for watching f1 memes 😂

landonorris: why you gotta do me dirty like this 💔

ynusername: @/landonorris stop being a walking meme then loser

alex_albon: thank you for making sure you capture all my flattering angles 😂🩷

ynusername: @/alex_albon 🫡🫡🫡

logansargeant: idk which I prefer the photos or the caption

username37: this is hands down my fave photo from the weekend

username38: y/n and alex forever making lando feel single is the best

danielricciardo: y/n stop! you’re coming across funnier than me 🥺

ynusername: @/danielricciardo I could never steal your crown king 👑

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[goldfades]

★ BREAK THE BED (LITERALLY) ─── CC²²

❪ requested -> "Can I pleaseeee get a fic where cc actually breaks the bed?? I just know her strap game in rough after a loss" ❫

─ warnings | nsfw under the cut, read at ur own discretion. kinda angsty but not rly???? just very angry cait (for the most part), mention of the media being mean, STRAP!!!!!!!!!!!! degradation with a sprinkle of praise, the bed actually breaking lol (who woulda thought?), it ends in a funny way and aftercare with so much cuteness u might die!!!!

─ ev's notes | kinda word vomit but this concept makes me go feral!!!!!!!

⇨ missing out on updates? check out my wcbb masterlist!

the entire night, caitlin had gotten absolutely dogged on. the game had been brutal, not just physically but emotionally. she could still feel the sting of missed shots, the weight of turnovers, and the disappointment of her teammates' glares. the fans' cheers had turned to jeers, and she couldn't shake off the feeling of letting everyone down.

off the court, the media scrutiny was relentless. headlines dissected her every move, analyzing her performance with a critical eye. she was sick of it, and with each passing moment, her anger only seemed to grow stronger. she wanted to scream, to lash out at something, anything, that could bear the weight of her frustration.

"oh, fuck!" you moaned as you felt your eyes roll to the back of your head, gripping the sheets beneath you. caitlin had you bent over her bed as she fucked into you relentlessly, one of her hands gripping your hip as the other pushed your head into the mattress. "please,"

her thrusts were fast and unforgiving, she was absolutely wrecking you. you'd both been at it for what felt like hours but in reality, your legs felt like they were about to give out at any moment but neither of you cared ─ it felt so good.

"fuck, yeah. take it, fucking take it," caitlin's groans came out breathless as her head fell back, as if she could really feel you through the thick piece of plastic. "good fucking girl, yeah,"

you nodded your head against the mattress at her praise, feeling the coil in your stomach begin to tighten. you loved it when cait treated you like this ─ she was usually caring but right now it felt like she couldn't care less about how you felt.

and you can admit to almost anyone that having a hot and tall hooper girlfriend has many perks ─ including getting absolutely fucking wrecked by her strap after terrible games.

"please, fuck," you choked out as you felt yourself begin to shake underneath her, your face contorting into one of pure bliss.

"fucking slut," the words came out smoothly as you moaned in response. she wasn't ever much of a degrader but god, did it feel good.

caitlin gripped your hair even harder as she pulled you up so that she press kisses against your jaw as she continued to fuck into you. "you like that? fuck, baby, you like getting called a slut? yeah?"

"yeah," you sobbed out as caitlin pressed her lips against yours in a sloppy kiss.

caitlin pushed your head back against the mattress and somehow, her thrusts got even rougher and faster. "oh fuck yeah, take it like a slut. i know you like that shit, stop whining,"

that was all it took for you to cum around her strap, your cries of pleasure echoing throughout her apartment. she didn't stop, she kept fucking you until you rode out your high.

caitlin kept pressing sloppy kisses on your shoulders and neck as you caught your breath, she wrapped her arms around your naked back and pulled you closer. you could feel her smile on your neck as you both stayed like that for a few moments, relishing in each other.

and that was all she needed to feel okay again. suddenly all the media and all the bullshit didn't matter anymore, because at least you were with her. and at the end of the day, she has a sexy ass girlfriend who can take her rough strap game after a tough loss (and who supports and cherishes her).

she pulled out of you slowly, wary of your very sensitive pussy. you winced as her expression turned thoughtful, "you okay, honey?"

"yeah," you whispered out as caitlin's hands gripped your hips and slowly pushed you on the bed. you turned around to meet her face and she pushed your hair out of your face, taking in your beautiful face.

she put one leg on the bed and began to move toward you, only for the mattress to completely complete collapse underneath. caitlin's eyes widened in surprise as the mattress collapsed beneath her, sending both of you tumbling to the floor with a thud. you let out a startled gasp, the sudden movement catching you off guard.

for a moment, there was silence, save for the sound of your breathing and the creaking of the broken bed frame. then, a burst of laughter bubbled up from deep within you, and soon caitlin joined in, her laughter filling the room.

"holy shit, dude," you laughed as caitlin caught her breath.

caitlin kept giggling as she shook her head in amusement. "my strap game that good?"

"i can't believe we actually like... we broke the bed," you both dissolved into fits of laughter again, the absurdity of the situation sinking in.

caitlin smirked, a playful glint in her eyes. "i guess that's what happens when you bring your a-game," she quipped, earning another round of laughter from both of you. "my ego really, really needed that, whew."

your expression softened as your girlfriend looked back at you, before continuing. "no seriously, even if we keep this losing streak up, at least i have you to make me feel better."

"really? that was all it took, one good fuck and you're all better?" you smirked as caitlin nodded, in all seriousness.

"oh, yes. absolutely. half of those dudes can't get their girls to orgasm with their real dicks. i did it with a damn strap and i got you screaming your head off, oh and i broke the bed," caitlin explained as you began laughing again. "i'm never gonna be able to take 'em seriously now, cause like... sure i keep getting dogged on but i'm still adjusting and!"

she pulled you closer into her chest, "i have a sexy girlfriend,"

"that's the spirit, baby," you laughed again as you squeezed your tall girlfriend.

caitlin chuckled, her arms wrapping around you in a tight embrace. "damn right," she said, her voice filled with pride. "and don't you forget it."

"never doubted it for a second," you replied, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "you're the sexiest, most badass girlfriend a girl could ask for."

"i love you, sweetheart," she mumbled against your head as she leaned toward you again before she felt the bed give way beneath you both once more. this time, however, instead of laughter, there was a collective groan as you hit the floor with a thud.

"love you too, but how are we gonna sleep tonight?" you groaned as caitlin sighed.

"i'm calling a hotel, hold on," caitlin sighed as she got up from the broken bed and walked out of the room.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[nyoomfruits]

short little kid fic drabble for @mecachrome with single dad!lando and engineer!oscar, love you, hope you enjoy!!!!!

“Hey,” Lando says, when he wanders over to where Oscar’s sitting in front of the screens in the back of the garage. FP2 is officially over now, and he’s finished discussing some last minute set up changes with his mechanics, so he’s free to go now. His race suit has long been unzipped, and is dangling around it waist as he leans over Oscar’s shoulder. “How did it go?”

Evelyn, who is perched on Oscar’s lap and had been staring at the screens intently, perks up and turns around. “Dad! Oscar says you were the fastest, like woosh,” she points her fingers forward, determined expression on her face.

“Did he?” Lando says, making eye contact with Oscar over Evelyn’s head. Oscar smiles innocently at him. Lando had only gotten as high as P3.

“Yeah!” Evelyn continues enthusiastically. “He’s been showing me the telletries.”

Lando raises his eyebrow at Oscar. Oscar shrugs. “She asked,” he says.

Lando eyes him a little skeptically. “My five year old asked you to show her my telemetries,” he states.

Oscar shrugs. “Well technically she asked if you were the fastest ever, and so then obviously I had to prove her you were in fact, the fastest ever.”

“Obviously,” Lando says, trying not to let the smile on his face turn too fond. He had been very nervous, when he first started brining Evelyn to races, last year. But the team had taken to her like a charm, had taken her in as one of their own, and while there was a nanny to make sure she never got in the way of anyone’s work, none of the team minded entertaining her for short bits at a time.

Especially Oscar, the youngest performance engineer in McLaren’s history, always made sure to take time to explain things to Evelyn, whether it was aerodynamics, brake balance, or in this case, telemetry.

“Alright Eve,” Lando says, gesturing to Evelyn. “Time to say goodbye to Oscar, we’re going to get you those chicken nuggets I promised you, yeah?”

Evelyn’s face lights up, but then falls immediately when she glances at Oscar. “But…” She says, frowning. “I want… Can Oscar come?” She asks, face suddenly turning excited again as she turns back to Lando. “Yes! He was going to tell me more about the telletries, he can totally do that over dinner! Dad, please.”

She’s pulling the patented Norris Pleading Eyes, the ones people have told Lando time and time are impossible to say no to. He thought they were exaggerating, until he became a victim of them himself.

But he’s strong. He’s been here before. He can do this. “I don’t know, bug,” he says, ruffling her hair. “I’m sure Oscar has plans.”

Evelyn turns back to Oscar, eyes in full force, adding in a bonus pouty lip. “I’m free,” Oscar says, immediately, because the man has no fucking backbone, clearly.

And god. The thing is, the thing Lando’s never really told anyone is that Oscar is kind of… Cute. In his own soft, nerdy way. Lando doesn’t like to dwell on it much ecuase it’s not like he’s ever going anywhere with it, not when he has Evelyn and racing and not much time for anything else, but.

But sometimes, in these little unguarded moments, he indulges himself, daydreams about a life together. A life with Oscar. Dreams about sleepy early morning and quiet late nights and all of the joy and laughter in between.

Except that way madness lies. So he tucks it away in a box called ‘Have Yout Lost Your Mind Not In A Million Years’ and moves on.

But now, with the full force of Evelyn’s Norris Pleading Eyes back on him, Oscar’s own nervous, expectant, hesitant expression behind her, he can’t help but fold, nudge the box open just a tiny little bit.

“Yeah, okay,” he says, admits defeat. “Sure. Why not.”

[littlejuicebox]

The wish spell worked.

Pairing: Astarion x F!Reader/Tav

Summary/Setting: 10 years post BG3. Follows my HC for spawn Astarion arc. See my other fics for more information, but otherwise the title speaks for itself. :)

Rating/Warnings: PG / allusions to sexual behaviors / fluff / in-game spoilers / lightest bit of angst if you squint but not really / this is self-indulgent af and idc / so sweet it will rot your teeth

Word Count: 2.2 K

A/N: HAPPY 400 FOLLOWERS POST! Thank you to everyone who likes my stories and provides encouragement. I love you all! I originally wanted to post this as a New Years Eve/Day special, but I couldn't get it quite right by then. After several reiterations, this is what we finally have! Hope it was worth the wait and multiple edits for you guys! :)

-----

If anyone had told Astarion Ancunin a decade ago that he would one day hold Gale Dekarios on a pedestal nearly as high as the one on which he held his darling Tav, the immortal elf might have actually died from laughter. The strange irony and wicked life lessons of fate were not lost on the retired rogue. Unbelievably and annoyingly, Astarion eventually found himself indebted to the wizard in a way he could never repay. 

The wish spell worked.

It had taken years for Gale to feel absolutely ready to cast the spell. Astarion waited — exasperated, impatient, and impetuous — for what felt like the longest ten years of his ageless lifetime to be given the gift of mortality. 

More than once, in the pale elf’s tearful fits of frustration, he accused the wizard of intentionally stringing him along or simply not having the skills to perform such a spell and not wanting to admit it. More than once, you had to calmly remind your husband of the great lengths Gale had gone to find information regarding the act and the even greater risk to both the vampire and the wizard if the spell was not cast perfectly and mindfully. 

It had been a long decade, waiting for that impossible possibility, but the wait had been more than worth it.

Just over ten years after you met that silver-haired rake on the beach, Astarion was miraculously returned to his living, breathing, heart beating, mortal elven form. Surprisingly, not much changed about his appearance. Most notably, his eyes turned a gold-flecked green, and his complexion took on a constant soft pink undertone, permanently tinged by the circulation of his own blood by his own heart. That beautiful undertone caused a delightful blush to creep across his cheeks and ears whenever you teased or aroused him, and you took an even more significant liking to both these behaviors, just to watch that gorgeous rosiness creep across his skin. 

And while you dearly loved that blush, your favorite part of the change had certainly been the steady beating of his heart. You would rest your head on your lover’s chest for hours to savor the sound if he let you, wrapped tightly in the new found warmth of his long limbs.

While you became obsessed with Astarion’s steadily thrumming heart, he’d become obsessed with his reflection. As soon as he’d been able to see himself, your husband had taken to having you sit on his lap while you primped and preened. He would stare into the looking glass with you for long lengths of time, his limbs coiled around your waist and chin often resting on your shoulder as he studied the mirror with a besotted, hazy smile on his face. 

After a few weeks of this, you finally asked your silver-haired husband why he seemed positively obsessed with this new behavior. Astarion’s response had floored you.

“Darling, in my over 200 years, I never imagined I would have a love of my own, nor did I ever imagine what we would look like together. I couldn’t have envisioned such a thing even if I thought it a possibility or wanted to. I simply couldn’t envision myself at all. But now seeing it? I want to commit everything to memory exactly as it is… because it’s the most precious vision in the world to me.”

And really how else could you respond to that apart from kissing your sappy, bleeding heart of a husband and allowing him to continue the practice?

Of course, the two of you behaving as innocent love birds hadn’t been the only thing Astarion wanted to see in the mirror. On more than one occasion, he’d easily charmed you into the throes of passion in perfect view of a reflective surface. Your husband’s darker, more carnal half had become obsessed with watching you two in the act and it certainly thrilled you to know he was trying to commit those sensual sights to memory. You were quite happy to oblige. 

As such, you’d soon found yourself carrying the byproduct of one of your many erotic couplings.

“That was a big one.” Astarion murmurs, and you see a smile creeping across the reflection of his face in the mirror as he glances down and runs his long fingers across the swell of your abdomen. His arms are looped around you as you sit front of the vanity mirror, placing the final touches on your appearance. 

You agree with a gentle hum, moving a hand to your pregnant belly and rubbing circles on the stretch of skin, hoping to calm the young life stirring within. You coo softly to the rolling babe as you finish your primping, “Surely you aren’t thinking about breaking out of there yet, my little love. You have a few more months to go.”

Astarion’s now-warm hands cover yours as the little one seems to do somersaults in response to your voice, causing you to wince slightly as they jolt against your ribs. He presses a tender kiss into your shoulder and chuckles, “This one is strong like their mother and impatient like their father… we may be in for a spot of trouble in a few years, my love.”

You laugh in response as you stand with a pitiable amount of effort and quite a bit of assistance from the supportive arm of your husband. “I believe you’re right… but surely we’ve taken on scarier and more difficult things than a stubborn babe.”

Astarion hums in agreement before pressing a kiss to your swollen stomach, which is hovering just in front of him now, “Surely, darling. Now let us all go say hi to Uncle and Auntie Ravengard. I’m positively famished.”

-----

You are almost out of breath as you walk the final steps toward the entry of the Duke’s home. Astarion had practically begged you to take the carriage all the way through Wyll’s estate, but you waved him off, adamant that a bit light exercise would be good for the baby. The walkway was fully paved, how hard could it be?

As it turned out, you’d severely overestimated your abilities. Though it was just under a quarter mile to the front doors of the manor when you’d decided to exit the carriage, you were no longer the young, lithe woman that traversed the wilds with a petulant vampire a decade ago. The weight of your belly slowed you down more than you would admit. Astarion implored you, more than once and with growing concern and exasperation, to return to carriage. You refused each time, forcing the driver to follow behind at a snail’s pace.

“Gods, I hope this child does not take on your stubborn streak. I will be constantly overrun in my own home.” Astarion huffs, dabbing at the few beads of sweat on your brow with a silken handkerchief as he helps you climb the small flight of stairs at the entryway of Wyll’s home. He rolls his eyes as you laugh, breathlessly, and lean into him for support as he presses a kiss at the meeting point between your cheek and ear. “But, my sweet, as much as I would have preferred we stayed in the coach, you know I adore the way you look with your cheeks all flushed after a bit of… exertion.”

It’s your turn to roll your eyes at your husband as he traces his hand over your flushed cheek, his expression practically brimming with desire. The flush on the tips of his ears is a telltale sign of his salacious thoughts. If he had it his way, he’d be dragging you into the carriage right there for a quickie. But, he knew you two were nearly running late for dinner with the Duke and forced himself to push all desires aside. For now.

Wyll and his beautiful wife, Euphemia, greet you with a flurry of excitement and hugs. Their two twin toddlers run around in the entryway, a nursemaid trailing behind them.

Wyll wears a kind, soft smile as he addresses the both of you, “Dinner should be just about ready… shall we make our way there? I hope you two don’t mind. We are having work done in the dining room — my beautiful flower insisted upon remodeling — so dinner will have to be served in the Great Hall.”

As the four of you head towards the larger of the two dining areas in the Duke’s estate, Astarion wraps his arm around your waist and runs his hand along the side of your nearly bursting belly once again. There is a subtle pause at the doors of the Great Hall, and your husband’s eyebrows crinkle in a silent question before you gently press a kiss into his cheek and whisper, “Happy Rebirth Day, my love.”

Today marked one year since Gale successfully cast the Wish Spell. 

The oak doors burst open to reveal the faces of everyone you hold dear, all of them shouting, “Surprise!” in unison. Wyll and Euphemia are laughing with delight as the four of you enter the room. Astarion is obviously shocked and overwhelmed as he takes the scene in, but a toothy smile is plastered across his face nonetheless. The elf could not believe that the significance of the date had slipped his mind, nor could he believe that you all went through such great lengths to plan a spectacle on his behalf. 

Everyone showered your husband with a plethora of well-wishes and congratulations. The food was heavenly, and the silver-haired elf dined to his heart’s content. Just as Astarion loved to watch you both in the mirror, you adored seeing him eat and savor real food. You’d pursued cooking as a new hobby in the past few months, just to watch the delight on his face as he tasted any number of delectable things you placed in front of him.

“Have you thought of any names for the baby?” Karlach asks through a mouthful of food as she continues to tear into the lamb shank in front of her.

You smile knowingly. This topic has piqued everyone’s interest and they all turn their gazes in your direction, “Yes, actually… Astarion picked it out. It works well for a boy or a girl, and I think it’s an excellent choice.”

The elf smiles shyly, that subtle flush of his cheeks and ears crawling across his face as you turn your gaze to him and urge him on, “Go on, my love, and tell them the gorgeous name you picked.”

“I… I decided we should name the baby Gale.” Astarion reveals, his hand immediately moving to graze against your swollen stomach as he meets the flabbergasted expression of the wizard sitting across the table with a round-eyed, nervous gaze, “If… that’s okay by you.”

Gale coughs in surprise, nearly choking on the wine he’d just sipped from a goblet. For a moment, you watch as he blinks away tears. You are beginning to truly believe he might leap across the table and tackle your husband in a hug when he rapidly nods instead.

The wizard’s voice cracks with emotion as he speaks, “Y-yes. Thank you, Astarion. That is such an honor.”

Ten years of friendship between two men that once seemed entirely at odds with one another, honored by a namesake given to a precious babe. Fate was a truly remarkable thing.

“It’s an honor you are quite deserving of, Gale.” You respond, reaching your hand across the table to give the wizard’s hand an affectionate squeeze. “May our child have just as much heart, wit, and skill as their namesake. We will be truly blessed.”

A cake with candles is brought about at the end of the meal and placed in front of Astarion as everyone sings an off-key birthday tune. While your husband always seemed to thrive on being held at the center of attention, you noticed with a bit of amusement that his ears and cheeks were flushed pink as everyone focused their eyes upon him. 

While the others continue to sing, you lean closer to your husband and whisper, “I know we will never surpass the wish you made last time, my Star. But go on and make one anyway.”

Astarion’s gaze roams around the room, taking in all the friends he collected this past decade. Then he turns to you and grins, pausing to etch every bit of this moment into his memory before closing his eyes and blowing the candles out to a cacophony of inebriated cheers and whoops.

The elf wished for the only thing he could: a healthy child and a long life with his little love. Fate had already gifted him with more than he could have imagined for himself back in those dark, dank dungeons he once called home. Astarion found himself in want of nothing but the health and happiness of the woman beside him and the safety of their offspring. 

Though he knew it was another selfish ask, and he’d been blessed far more than he had ever expected, Astarion prayed to the gods that he once never thought would answer to grant him this last wish. And just in case they did not hear him the first time, he would be sure to make the same wish every year, until his very last. 

[evilwizard]

The Lich Who Stole Christmas

Every tumblrina in tumblr liked Christmas a lot.

But the lich, who lived just north of Tumblr, did not!

The lich hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season! Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason. It could be his skull wasn’t screwed on quite right. It could be, perhaps, that his skin was too tight.

But I think that the likeliest reason of all… was his heart was encased by a strange lead-lined ball.

“Last year I made something that I thought in would usher

A new age of magic—my prized OrphanCrusher.

But my patents were stolen, and my sweet new invention

Is now being used… with good-ish intentions.

You see, Christmas wishes contain lots of magic;

And my device extracts it through methods so tragic

That I dare not mention them directly here

Though the name might clue in certain readers, I fear.

The Wizard Council, now that they possess this device,

Might use it, this year, to stamp out wizard vice.

Though the process might turn quite a few kids to carrion,

The Wiz Council’s ethics are utilitarian.

So what shall I do? What is to be done?

It seems rather clear that this Christmas can’t come.

But I’ve read a few books, and I know a few tricks

So this year I’ll steal Christmas, while dressed as Saint Nick!”

So the wizard of evil returned to his lair

Stitched a red suit, and did up his hair

Built a sleek sled—and—who among us,

Could hope for a much better Rudolph than Krongus?

They took to the skies, that next Christmas Eve,

And tailgated Santa, whom they hoped to deceive

At every house he left presents, they quickly descended,

And stole the decor and the gifts he’d intended.

And when the dark wizard’s sleigh was full-loaded with gifts,

He tugged at the reigns, and they made for The Rift!

A place where the veil between worlds was thin…

And a brilliant place to dump the gifts in!

“You see,” he told Krongus, as they approached that strange crack,

“Once something goes in, it can never come back!”

“Moreover, it’s perfect,” the wizard did sing,

“For The Rift destroys every part of that thing!”

“Every instance, every atom in all multiverses,

Will be undone as though by my special dark curses.

Not a gram, not a dust speck or mote shall remain,

And no one will even remember their name!”

“But sire,” muttered Krongus, “would it not be more precise,

If you simply put in the OrphanCrusher device?”

The evil wizard thought of this, parking his sleigh in the snow.

He’d made quite a trip, and this seemed quite a blow.

“I do have one here,” he told that weird devil.

“But destroying Christmas seems rather more evil!”

Then, far behind him, and the gifts he had pillaged,

He heard a small noise coming from Tumblr Village.

It was simply a song, of holiday spirit,

But the wizard was utterly shocked just to hear it.

“It came without ribbons! It came without tags!

It came without packages, boxes or bags!”

Then the lich thought of something he hadn’t before.

Could it be Christmas was some kind of contagion or spore?

What happened next? Well, in Tumblr, they say,

The lich’s dead heart exploded that day!

And the combustive force of that villainous blast,

Airlifted the sleigh, and brought it right back,

To the village, where Tumblrinas rejoiced!

Then continued to sing, and lift up their voice.

And back at the rift, the lich, with head in a spin,

At the edge of the rift dropped the OrphanCrusher in.

So Christmas was saved, by accident mostly,

Though performing a good deed turned the bad wizard ghostly.

“Come, Krongus—we must now return to my tower,

While I wait several months to return to full power.”

And at Wizard Council HQ, certain strategist seers,

Saw all this occur through the orbs that they peered.

They smiled, and high-fived, and struck up the band,

Pleased that these events had gone just as planned.

[assiraphales]

I’m committed (for funsies) to the ‘crowley is lucifer’ theory because the evidence is lowkey convincing (lucifer is the light bringer and crowley created the stars, he loved humanity too much, he was the one to tempt eve, he’s was a high ranking angel AND a high ranking demon who got all the big jobs like the flood, job, jesus, someone said he signed his name last season with an L) BUT I would also like to consider that there may be more to aziraphale than we know. because he was there at the beginning of the galaxy with crowley. he also got all those big jobs. he held audience with the archangels for his entire career and asked questions/was allowed a bookstore/stopped armageddon and wasn’t punished more than getting fired. the miracle he and crowley performed set off alarms. metatron is trying to manipulate him & his power for the second coming. something is up!!!

[monicascot]

The shocking truth about EV batteries: 1000 km on just 10 min! | Carcastics

Have you ever wished you could drive your car for 1000km without needing to recharge? Well, now there's a new technology that could make that possible! In this video, we'll explain the stunning new solid state battery technology and show you how it works.