#his beard gives me life tbh

[piratecaptainraven]

[biancasreign]

BIRTHDAY SEX | ROMAN REIGNS

Summary: the title says it all tbh…

Warnings: Smutttt

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to Monae ! Happy birthday to you!” The waiters sung as Monae smiled across the table at her husband of seven years.

All weekend he’s done nothing but spoil her. Whether it be a brand new Chanel purse, a soothing massage, or the brand new black body KIA K5 with the red interior she’s been yearning for.

They were now seated in one of the best seafood restaurants in Chile enjoying each others company.

“Thank you guys.” She smiled as she saved the video to her phone and looked at the chocolate dessert in front of her.

“You must want me to cry again.”

“Never that love. I just have to show you how much I love you. With all you do for me and the kids. Holding the house down when I’m on the road and treating me like a king all the time. I gotta do the same for my queen.” He looked her in her eyes meaning every word.

When he meet Monae nine years ago he had no idea he was going to fall for her so fast. She was everything he wanted in a woman from her looks to her personality. He knew instantly he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her bad here they were nine years later, married with four kids.

“You’re so sweet. I love you.” She leaned over the table to place a kiss on his lips which he returned.

“I can’t believe I’m thirty three. We’re getting old babe. You’re all gray and everything.” She joked making him shake his head.

She absolutely loved the gray in his beard. It was something about it that made him look extra sexy and she couldn’t get enough of it. Joe on the other hand preferred to dye it and prevent himself from looking older.

“That’s cause you love this shit. I keep it like this for you.” He told her and she bite her lip in response.

“It adds to your sexiness.” She gripped his chin and leaned over the table so their faces were close together.

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmmh.” She nodded her head, never breaking eye contact with him. It was no lie the drinks were getting to her and once it was in her system it made her feel some type of way.

“Finish your dessert.” He mumbled already knowing what type of time she was on. He knew exactly how they got when they both had liquor in their systems.

The sexual tension was high as she finished her dessert, savoring each scoop of vanilla ice cream as she licked it off the spoon.

When she finished Joe payed the bill and waited for the driver to bring them to the hotel. In the car they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. Joe gripped his wife’s behind caressing it in his large hand as she smiled up at him with lust in her eyes, stealing kisses from him every now and then.

From the time they stepped foot in their luxury hotel suite it was on. Joe instantly stripped her of her dressed and pulled her thong to the side. Hoisting her into the he pinned her against the wall and immediately went to work.

“Mmh, fuck.” She moaned as his warm mouth attached to her vagina and began eating her out.

“You like that? Daddy’s making you feel good?” He spoke against her allowing all the vibrations to run through her body.

“Yes, you’re making me feel so good. Keep going, just like that.” She moaned into his ear, giving him the reassurance he needed.

It didn’t take long for her to cum all over his tongue and he savored every drop of it. His licking and slurping made her wetter by the second.

“Fuckkk— I love you.” She managed to get out as he slipped inside of her began pounding her up and down on his dick. He knew his wife’s body like the back of his hand and loved being in control of it. She was submissive to him because he deserved it. He could do whatever he wanted with her body because she trusted him that much.

“I love you too baby. Look at you wetting me up.” He created space between them, allowing her to look down and see her fluids that coated his dick.

“Hmm, you feel so good. I promise you’re the only one who makes me feel way.” She moaned.

“That’s how it better be. I’d hate to have to show you that I don’t play about you.” He gripped her neck and stuck his tongue in her mouth. The two of them fought for dominance as Monae came to her climax.

“I’m gonna cum baby.” She told him as she sunk her nails into his shoulder bracing herself.

“Go ahead, I got you.”

That was all she need to hear befor she released her fluids all over him and tried to catch her breath.

“Damn baby, don’t do that.” He hissed as she squeezed around him, releasing as much as she could.

“I can’t help it. She loves you too damn much.” She whispered against his lips making him smile as he carried her out to the balcony.

“Bend over.” He told her and immediately she did. She didn’t care that they were eight floors up and her head was spinning. She knew her man had her.

“Always so fucking wet.” He lined up with her opening before slamming inside of her, gripping her waist to hold her in place.

“Babe, hold on.” She held her hand out trying to adjust to him. You’d think after nine years she’d be used to him but the experience was different every time.

“Nah, don’t do that. You can handle it baby. I know you can.” He spoke softly as he grabbed her hand and used it as leverage to pound in and out of her.

“Mmmh, right there.” She moaned while arching her back, throwing it back on him just the way he liked it. She rested her face on the banister of the balcony and took all that he was giving her. In the nine years they’ve been tightest this was definitely one of the best birthdays she ever had.

“Babe.” She called out feeing her legs go numb but he already knew what time it was. He let go of her hand and used his strong arm to hold her body up a she pleasured her. He was so close to cumming and knew she was too.

“Shhh, I got you. You about to cum baby?” He asked as he gripped her hair and pulled her body closer to his. All Monae could do was nodded her head as tears rolled down her face. Her body was going into overdrive for this man and she loved every second of it.

“Mmhmm.” She nodded her head.

“Go ahead, I got you.” His words were like music to her ears because instantly she released all over him and he followed suit emptying all he could inside of her.

“Oh my god.” She breathed out as he held her body and moved her way from the balcony, lifting her into his arms so he could carry her back to the bedroom.

“Happy birthday baby.” He kisses her lips.

[joelsflower]

a little thought i had let’s say i can’t sleep too and this would *definitely* cure me.

tw mature content 18+!!! a bit of anxiety (brief description of a panic attack nothing graphic), straight up porn (sos), no y/n, reader has hair but it’s only mentioned cause joel is addicted to its smell, otherwise not described, unprotected piv, veeeery lovey dovey deep sex tbh, soft soft soft dom!joel, mentions of subspace, one or two “daddy”, creampie, BRIEF breeding, overuse of petnames, reader cries a bit, thumb sucking, a bit of somno? joel fucks reader to sleep. that’s it. zero proofread first time writing smut ops

And it happened, again.

Without your control or consent, you eyes snap open and your heart jumps at an exasperated pace — just like it has been every other night. The weight of your day-to-day activities (added to your need to always give 101% of yourself to your work and lead your body and mind to exhaustion) has definitely and finally caught you.

Your thoughts start to tangle and suddenly your whole body is freezing and on fire at the same time, spiralling on a wave of anxiety; coming back to sleep is just not an option anymore. Attempting to at least hide from the cold breeze sneaking through the window and maybe calm your heart down a little, you reach your hand down to the covers, or you would have reached, if it wasn’t for the warm — and considerably larger than yours — grip around it, holding you in place.

And that’s when you feel it.

Him, bringing you back to peace. Inch by inch, moment by moment.

He’s sleeping peacefully, and it’s contagious — slowly, the sensation of him starts to guide your thoughts down, with his broad body spooning you and serving as your own personal bonfire. From head to toe, you feel safe again.

The hands that cage yours press firmly against each other, keeping you there through a hook made by his thumb invading the space of your much smaller fingers and finding its home there, reminding you that he’s not completely awake yet, but he’s with you.

It comes as a spark to the bicep that embraces your torso and pulls you closer, making your soft breasts almost spill from his hold. Suddenly, your body, mind and heart are all aware of him and nothing more — because right now, nothing matters if it’s not him; he has this power to keep you afloat in your most safe and vulnerable mindspace, and you follow him like a little bird laying on its nest.

You can feel the skin on your back almost melt as it presses against his broad chest and soft belly, warming and protecting your delicate body. One muscly leg comes to rest in between yours, molding your body into his and making the back of your thighs tingle from the hairs that adorn his. The ins and outs of his hot breath in your neck are also not helping

All you want is to let him take care of you. And at this point, he knows it too.

“Joel?” you whisper, fingers playing with his calloused kuckles. You feel the tip of his nose nudging your hair while a deep groan leaves his throat, sending colourful and shiny explosions of light down you spine and directly to your already throbbing core.

What can you do? It’s Joel. And what would your mind do if not go Joel Joel Joel Joel? When feeling the weight of his pinning you down, his beard scratching the soft skin of your neck and his rough fingers gripping your waist? After all the hard work he gives his life to accomplish just to give you comfort? For all the barriers he fought within himself just to be a better man for you? He loves you. Adores you. And you let him.

“I’m here, sweetheart” he assures, voice deep and drunk on the green apple scent of your hair. It’s his favorite. You’re his favorite. “Are you having one of those bad moments again?”

Your eyes water and you don’t answer him verbally (shit, you really didn’t want to cry), but let him know that you’re aware of his question by trying to pull your legs together, being interrupted by his own that sits perfectly in between yours — pressing forward and forcing yours open just a little more — just a little more so he can feel you, and you can trust him. He already knows how to make your pain go away, and the soppy pussy smudged against the flesh of his thigh only confirms the answer that he knows is floating in your pretty little head.

“Oh, angel,” he coos, matching his plea with a shift of his leg, taking a soft moan from you that lands directly on his heart “I’m gonna take care of you, okay? Know what y’want. Gonna give it to you” he does. He always knows what you want.

“Please?” you beg, something between a moan and a whisper, as you feel his hands unclasp your own and each follow a path: the left one comes up to press against your forehead, freeing your mind from the unmerciful thoughts and nesting your skull against the curve of his neck, warm and safe and followed by soft kisses to your temple. the right one snakes up your chest and holds onde of your breasts tenderly, soothing your heart from the fear and thumbing at your nipple just to leave your head a little more fuzzy.

It does not stay there too long, tho. He brings it down to fist at his now hard cock, lining it with your needy, weeping hole. The contact of the thick tip with your lips makes you squirm under his hold, and for what seems an eternity, he keeps at that; starts down and collects your wetness with his head, letting it pool and mix with the precum bubbling there just to slowly drag it up and down your folds, up and down. Caressing your lips open and nudging at your clit, circling at a torturing pace that has your ears ringing.

After a little while, he brings it down and forces at your opening, unhurriedly stretching your tight pussy. The sensation of stretch and fullness is almost enough to send you over the edge; when you finally welcome him, mouth falling open, nails digging into his wrist and pussy ready to be fucked, that’s it — just the tip. In and out, in and out.

Which is good. But wait, is he taking care of you or teasing you? If Joel wasn’t holding his orgasm back for dear life and could answer now, he’d say he has greater purposes;

“Shhhhh” he sucks at the sweet little spot under you ear, keeping a steady pace inside of you. “Gotta do it, baby. Know you—“

“Joel, please—” you cry.

“No, hey,” he coos, using the hand on your head to twist it and hook his eyes with yours. His blow brown irises find you, and for a second you would even take just the tip the whole night if he told you to. “Didn’t prep you, did I, baby? Know you get just so tight when you’re feeling like this, hm?” you nod mutely, tears pooling at your waterlines at a unexpectedly deeper thrust, giving you a bit more of this cock. He’s so good to you.

“Shhh, none of that” he wipes one tear that runs down your cheek, “feel that? Too big to give it to you in one go. Gotta— fuck. Gotta stretch your little hole open a bit. Don’t wanna hurt you, not now. But you can’t do it, right, little one? Can take my cock just right?” The question becomes rhetorical when he slowly sinks his whole cock into you with an animalistic groan leaving his throat, “Fuck- yeah, baby you can. My best girl, aren’t you? My sweet, sweet girl with an even sweeter pussy”.

His words and girth stretching your tight walls open and making home for itself inside your hot, pulsing pussy have your head spinning. Being filled by Joel is the kind of experience that’s easily on top of any other you have in your life. Being filled, held and comforted by Joel has no price. His cock rests heavy and pulsing while occupying himself inside you, giving you time to adjust. His tip caressing sweet sweet spot deep in your core.

Still staring down into your eyes, he starts to move with very, very deep thrusts, “that’s it, baby. Took it all like the good girl you are. And all mine, aren’t you?” You attempt a nod but the thumb that circled your nipple now stuffs your mouth quiet, so the best you can do is blink the tears down your cheeks for Joel to kiss them. “I know, angel. That’s what you needed, ain’t it? For daddy to fuck those bad thoughts away? To fill you and fuck full you the way you like? Always gonna, baby, fuck—“ a particular clench of you pussy strangling his cock and he has to hold himself back again, “always gonna take care of you. Grippin’ my cock real tight, little one. Wanna cum already?”

Another nod. “Shit, cock so good got your head all empty, hm?” he murmured, more to himself, but continued his praise since it’s something you crave during those moments, “you can come, baby, whenever you want. Can’t wait to have your little pussy gushing ‘round me” he confirms his saying by accelerating his thrust just a bit, making your eyes roll and your body flirt with your orgasm. “Come on, babygirl, let go for me, hm? Cum all over my cock, angel, that’s it”

You feel your pussy spasming and gripping his length and what feels like your soul leaving your body. Your mind is floaty and your lips are hung open by his thumb while you feel your juices coat the outside of your lips and down your thighs, making a mess of your conjoined bodies. You look up at him with big round eyes and babble a “thank you,” receiving in exchange a kiss to your forehead and a shower of “I love you”’s and “you did so good to me, baby” and “who’s my girl, hm?”

Even tho, that’s not enough to distract you from the fact that besides still, Joel is very much hard inside of you. And panting on your back. And gripping your body for dear life. And as much as he knows you, you know him too. So in a matter of seconds, you know what’s about to happen, and you welcome it as a more elaborated thank you.

“Shhhhh,” he soothes one more time before starting to thrust into you again, this time more carefully hence how sensitive he knows you must be, “go to sleep now, little one. You’re okay.” He kisses you again and caresses your scalp with his fingers, the thickness of his cum-covered cock pulsing and comforting your insides and weighting your eyelids.

You’re drifted from your dreams a few minutes later though, when thick, hot spurts of his cum breed your used hole, claiming you as his, reminding you you’re safe and filled by his affection. He pants and moans at a lower volume, doing his best to not wake you up, as if the more “I love you”’s he’s spent on your ear wouldn’t dance their way to your dreams. He knows you’re feeling better now, and you know he’s going to get up in a bit to clean you up. But for now, you both know you want to stay like this for just a little more.

[toxictigertonic]

Hello it's me your number one fan: What's your headcannons for what the Main Three do in their spare time? Also, what do they do in their spare time with each other? Literally will pay you for these headcannons ISTG they give me life

I'm so glad people are enjoying my silly little headcanons about these weirdos (affectionate) I'm happy to say dumb shit about them.

COYLE

- Honestly he's a lil tough for me to figure out. He's so dedicated to his job of catching our asses that it feels like he's always patrolling.

- Then again. I wanna say this man is a secret soap opera enjoyer NOW HEAR ME OUT

- He sounds like he's on the verge of tears when he points out that Franco gets a gun but not him. That's dramatic. I think he secretly likes a little drama in his life.

- God help anyone who finds out though. Nobody can know about or interrupt his soaps.

- Also I could say the obvious answer for what I think he does in his spare time but uh. I think y'all can already guess with his quips.

- Other than that? He's making spicy chili to kill Franco with. Taste testing each pepper to make sure it's potent enough.

- Or collecting cool trinkets he finds laying around. Fun scraps of metal, nice rocks, anything he can steal from Franco.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- This woman is constantly busy, never let's herself sit down and relax. She's gotta be doing SOMETHING with her hands.

- Baking, knitting, sewing, she's doing it all with a show in the background for noise.

- She likes to bake pies and such, she likes the effort that goes into making the crust and loves fruit filling. Futterman is a brat about getting flour on his beak though.

- Knitting is a little hard but she gets Futterman to hold one needle with his beak. He only agrees so she won't whine about it. She's knitted a stuffed animal for Franco once on request and he cried so hard he threw up.

- She also listens to the radio and dances to some songs. She likes to sway back and forth or side to side while working on things and listening.

FRANCO

- My lil baby man, of course he's gonna do some lil baby things.

- I think he'd have a lot of coloring books tbh. A pack of crayons spread out on the table, pacifier in mouth, cartoons on in the background, this man is living the dream.

- Speaking of cartoons, I guaranTEE this man has an hour set aside for when his favorite cartoon comes on. He's watching it whether he's busy or not. Do not interrupt cartoon time unless you want a tooth bullet to the shin.

- He'd love to have someone to watch cartoons with, not Coyle though that man doesn't deserve cartoon time. Gooseberry would be an okay option but Futterman talks shit about his cartoons. May have kidnapped a reagent to make them watch cartoons with him.

- If he had the option he'd spend most of his spare time in someone's lap (someone who isn't dead lol) because again, this man is so beyond starved for affection from actual people. My sad little creachure.

- For some not so baby things, he makes sure Lupara is absolutely spotless. He'll spend hours cleaning it and making sure it shines like new. Now, if only he'd take the same care with his suit...

ALL TOGETHER

- You know how bad they were when two of them were together? Adding the last one to the mix is like asking for something to catch fire. Whether it be Coyle's beard or Gooseberry's skirt depends on the day.

- Most of the time spent as a trio is Phyllis trying to make sure Coyle and Franco don't kill each other. She wants everyone to be friends and those two want bloodshed.

- She's bringing out board games and baked cookies for them to all hang out, turns around for two seconds, looks back and Franco has Coyle picked up by the collar.

- They talk the maddest shit to each other and eventually Futterman has to call a time out. They have to sit in opposite corners.

- Speaking of Futterman, they know it's time to calm down when the drill is brought into the picture. Phyllis will not stand for this behavior during friend time!

These ones were a little more difficult but I think I'm pretty spot on with Coyle and his soap operas. Keep em coming my merry little men, you can ask about all three or just one of them.

[marksbear]

Hope you're having a good day/night

I was wondering if I could request the BAU Team x Male reader who's also an agent, reader gets kidnapped by the unsub finding a thrill from the thought of breaking an FBI agent, the unsub changes up what he has been doing wanting this to be more "fun" (unsub SA & tortures reader)

Will the team find reader and the unsub? Will the unsub try and kill reader or keep him as a toy? You can choose all injuries I'm okay with anything from broken bones to missing limbs/eye

I was wondering if could get a lil Derek x male reader like they're really close like unrequited love, they like to tease and joke

Hi! I hope your having a good one as well! I took a lot of creative freedom with this one. Proably one of the darkest and longest fic I had wrote in a while tbh

Warnings! Blood, gore, killing, cannibalsim barely mention like gotta squint, breaking bones, punishment, SA, torture, burning, fire, stabbing, victm reader, revenge, reader goes a lil crazy the end. Twisted ending.

BAU X VICTIM MALE READER WHOS AN AGENT

And a lil of Derek Morgan x reader

It was a late night in the BAU. Most agents were tired only surviving on cups of coffee and energy drinks. One agent was bored and tired and even started to learn how to make origami out of sticky notes and paper

Deciding having enough Y/n tossed the origami swan on Reid's desk he had just got done finishing.

Y/n stands up from his desk before announcing.

“Okay i'm heading home guys! See you all later and goodnight!” Y/n says to the team as he makes sure he has everything to go home.

"Drive safe and make sure you grab something to eat on the way." Hotch says more like ordering him to do it. "Night Y/n!" Penelope says waving her friend bye.

"See ya Y/n. Don't miss me too much now!~" Morgan says with a wink as Y/n just rolls his eyes.

Spencer gives Y/n a small wave bye which Y/n smiles and waves bye back.

After gathering all his personal belongings Y/n gives the team one more goodbye wave before leaving the office.

TIMESKIP

Y/n was inside his car tapping his finger to the wheel to the beat of the music in his car. Stopping at the red light Y/n looks around looking at the nearby food places.

Originally Y/n wasn't going to eat anything, but he knew that Hotch would just call him later on and see what he had gotten to eat and would like to see proof.

After the light turned green Y/n drove his car to a fast food place going inside the drive thru.

The line was long and busy, but Y/n didn't mind. Once it was Y/n's turn to order he just ordered his usual and didn't try to make small talk like the worker tried.

Finally once it was Y/n's turn to pay Y/n rolled down his window meeting eyes with a man. The man had a beard with long slick back hair. The man looked like he worked out a ton.

"Late nights am I right." The man says after staring at Y/n's tired figure as he tried to make small talk once more.

"Yeah I guess." Y/n responded back dryly as he opened his wallet to pay.

"I feel ya. What's your job anyway?" The worker says as he reaches his hand out for Y/n's card.

"... Uhm i'm an agent." Y/n huffs out seeing there's no harm in telling him since it's highly unlikely he'll see him again. "A agent?! Like for the FBI?" The man breathes out.

Y/n nods his head yes before handing him card.

"That's so cool! I think about the FBI almost everyday! So it's like a dream come true to meet one in real life." The man says as he scans the card before handing it back to Y/n.

"Are you dating someone or--" The worker drags out watching Y/n's eyebrow raise.

Y/n thinks for a minute before a smirk grows on his lips. "Yeah i'm married." Y/n answers before taking his card back putting it inside his wallet.

"Ohh... Uhm what's their name?"

"Derek..." Y/n answers already thinking to tell Derek about this experince.

"He must be really lucky to be with an FBI agent."

Thankfully the car in front of Y/n moves forward as Y/n looks at the worker giving him a quick thanks before driving forward. The worker stares at Y/n's car for a while before leaving.

TIMESKIP

After getting his food Y/n drives home. The late night car ride was quiet just the way Y/n liked it. Nothing going on in his neighborhood. No parties, no one having loud sex just quiet and simple.

Finally making it home Y/n drives into his drive through parking the car and turning it off.

Y/n picks up the food and his work bags as he leaves the car closing it and locking it before walking to the porch.

Unlocking the front door Y/n goes inside his home.

Y/n puts his bags and stuff down by the front door before walking deeper inside the house going inside the living room turning on the TV and sits down on the couch.

Y/n kicks off his shoes and takes off his suit jacket without even bothering to wear some comfortable clothes.

As Y/n ate and watched TV tiredness became overwhelming to the agent as he began to doze off. Quickly finishing his food Y/n dozes off watching TV.

TIMESKIP

After a while Y/n could hear something opening. It was muffled and quiet. Y/n opened his eyes tiredly looking around. It was still dark outside and his TV was still on.

Hearing the noise becomes louder. It sounded like someone was struggling to get something opened outside.

Soon enough Y/n came to his senses and listened more carefully.

"Why won't this damn door open!"

Y/n heard the whispered shout perfectly. Y/n's body took control as his hand flew to the gun holster on his belt taking out his gun. Y/n thanked god for letting him be too tired to undress.

Y/n quietly moved around his house holding his gun tight. Y/n founded a spot to hide moving inside a shadow in his house that gave him a good view around the house.

Click

"Fuck me..." Y/n thought to himself remembering he left his phone inside the living room.

Listening to the foot steps inside the house Y/n held his breath getting ready to shoot and ask questions later.

"Mr FBI agent~ Where are you?"

From the no response the intruder stomps his foot to the ground getting angry.

"I don't like to be ignored! Where the fuck are you!" He shouts again.

Y/n knew he couldn't keep hiding forever, so he might as well try to fight. Y/n always wanted to die in something cool or at least self defense. Y/n quietly moved from his hiding spot.

Spotting the intruder in his bedroom Y/n aimed the gun at his head. Y/n thought for a minute before stalking up behind the man. Y/n strikes fast hitting the gun against the back of the mans skull.

The man almost fell from the pain and surprise, but nonetheless still stood his ground whipping his body around facing Y/n.

Y/n kicked the man in the stomach making him hunch down before hitting him again using the gun to hit him on the back of the head again taking the man down with ease.

The man lets out a loud groan in pain as he falls to the floor.

Making sure he doesn't think of trying anything Y/n stomped on the man's neck.

Out of nowhere hands grab Y/n's head covering his mouth with a cloth. Y/n tries to fight back even managing a few good hits on the person behind him. Y/n body collapses in the person's arms knocked out.

The person puts the cloth in his pocket before gently putting Y/n down on the bed. The person walks to the man on the floor rolling him onto his back before getting on top him choking him.

"You were supposed to distract him you idiot!" The person shouts as they use all their strength to strangle the person to death.

The man on the ground moves around gasping for air as his hands fly to the persons are trying to pull them off of them.

Squeezing their hands tighter the man on the floors grows limp.

Once the person makes sure the man is completetly dead they moves off of him and walks to Y/n.

The person carries Y/n over his shoulder as he picks up Y/n's gun from the floor leaving the house.

TIMESKIP

"The fuck..." Y/n thinks to himself as he tries to stretch, but sadly couldn't because of something cold and heavy holding his legs down.

Y/n looked around at the walls. The room walls were dark red and the bed was a queen sized one with candles around the room. The room had rose petals around the room some making heart shapes.

Y/n sat up in the bed looking around. Y/n tried to move down on the bed, but the collar chained to the wall behind him stops him.

The room was freezing cold and the candles didn't provide much heat. And it was even worse that Y/n was naked only the bed sheets covering his private part.

The door slowly opens.

The hallway was completely dark. It was hard to see anything in there. You couldn't even see the person who opened the door.

"Oh you're awake! Thank god I thought I killed you. That would be so bad for the both of us."

"God please don't tell me it's that weirdo." Y/n thinks to himself looking at the person walking inside the room.

It was the man from the drive through.

"You lied to me. You are not married." The man says crossing his arms.

"But you were honest about one thing. You are an FBI agent! I mean your Agent L/n I didn't know how I didn't recognize you! You were the agent who took down that famous school shooter. You were all over the news and you even got an award from the major that you turned down." He rants out going to the nearby dresser by the bed getting a newspaper flipping through the pages before showing it.

The newspaper had Y/n's face all over it.

"I can't believe my first victim is a real hero!.... But it still bothers me that you lied to me." The man says while putting the newspaper neatly back inside the dresser.

"We should have some rules." The man says while picking up one of the candles from the dresser. The man climbs onto the bed getting close with Y/n.

"Rule number one. Don't lie to me!" He shouts as he grabs Y/n's free arm burning him with the candle.

Y/n's body went into a fight or flight response closing his hand into a fist punching the man right in his jaw.

The man seemed unfazed to the punch only expression he showed was thrill.

"Rule number two. Don't even think about escaping... I own you Y/n, so don't even get any ideas." He whispers as he moves the candle by Y/n's neck burning him with the flame.

Y/n screams in pain as the fire burns his skin.

"Rule number three. You're not allowed to think let alone talk about someone who isn't me. I'm the only man in your life from now on forward. The only time someone else besides me would talk to you is when your buddies call your phone."

The man moves the candle away taking it to Y/n's inner thigh. Striking it on Y/n's thigh holding it there until the flame is put out.

Y/n screams in pain as he throws his head back. Y/n bit onto his lip trying to contain the noises as he realizes that showing pain will give the man pleasure.

The man throws the candle away as he stares at Y/n.

"Aww poor agent~ Your lip is bleeding. Here let me clean for you." The man takes Y/n jaw harshly yanking his head down. The man greedily licks away before kissing Y/n with all his mouth forcing his tongue inside.

The man's hands moves around Y/n's chest before going down lower and lower until he reaches Y/n's private area.

"I love how you're enjoying this!~" The man teases pulling away from the messy kiss.

As soon as the man pulls away Y/n headbutts him with all his might. The blood rushes out the nose.

"Ohh!~ You like it rough huh? You like it when we beat the living shit out each other your into that?" The man questions as he takes Y/n's private part inside his hand.

"Okay.... I can lean into that."

TIMESKIP

Ever since then it has been a constant torture from the man. The man was breaking the agent slowly.

It's been a full week since Y/n was at work. Y/n's family had told Hotch that Y/n was staying with them because of family problems.

But that couldn't be farther from the truth.

The once romantic beautiful bedroom had became dirty and disgusting. With blood mostly painting the walls. Some of it was Y/n, the unsub and completetly unknown blood c

Y/n was on the floor with one of his arms broke from the torture yesterday. The reason why he gotten punished because he broke rule number three.

Y/n laid on the floor in a puddle of his own tears with dried blood around his naked body staining his skin. Y/n's vision was blurry but he could see the unsub new victims huddle around him.

Even though he was unchained and free he was too weak for anything. His body was bruised and beaten badly as some of his bones had fractures.

Y/n’s more private areas were sticky and dirty. The agent wanted to cry and scream, but he couldn’t let the unsub win that easily.

"Y/n where are you going?"

"Y/n!"

The victims behind him call out, but Y/n just ignores them

Pulling his weak body up he slowly moves onto his feet trembling in pain. Y/n walks towards the door with a bad limp as his body feels overwhelming pain. Reaching for the door knob with his good hand Y/n opens the door as quietly as he can.

Y/n stared into the dark hallway before taking a deep breath walking out the bedroom.

WITH THE BAU

"Theres something up with Y/n."

Morgan announces as he sits down at his chair at the round table. The other agents at the table raise their eyebrows and look at Morgan with confusion.

"I'm guessing hes texting y'all and calling right. Theres something up and I know it." Derek adds crossing his arms.

"Y/n doesn't take pictures like that. He doesn't like styling his hair like that in the pictures. And he most definitely doesn't text dry and boring." Derek says as if he was stating facts.

"Maybe because he's with his family and all. It is scientifically proven that families do have a big interference in someones past, present and future lives." Reid blurts out as he turns to face Derek's worried and anxious face.

"I know, but something has to be wrong. It gotta be." Derek says before looking back at the case files that are currently on the table. "And I don't mean to sound crazy, but I just have this burning feeling." Derek adds.

BACK WITH Y/N

Walking on the cold wood floor felt so new to Y/n. He was so used to that bloody stained carpet in the bedroom he completely forgot what other material feels like.

Going deeper inside the dark hallway Y/n spots a dim light under what seems to be a door. Y/n slowly walked to the source looking under the door one last time before touching the door searching for the knob.

Y/n's fingers graze the cold door knob before opening it. Stepping forward Y/n walks inside the room shutting the door slowly behind him.

Muffled humming could be heard outside the room Y/n was currently inside. Y/n was inside another bedroom. Y/n looked around for a while before leaving searching for the target who is humming.

The unsub stood inside the kitchen cutting up what seems to be a leg turning the meat into tiny pieces before dropping it inside a soup bowl. The unsub snaps his head looking behind him as Y/n hides around the corner holding his mouth tight.

The unsub walks towards Y/n's direction before stopping in the doorway. The unsub stood in the middle of the doorway with Y/n on the wall holding his breath.

The unsub walks inside the bedroom looking around suspiciously. The unsub opens the door to the long dark hallway before walking inside shutting the door behind him before shouting "Y/n! I already told you to keep the noise down!"

Which heavily confused Y/n. But Y/n decided not to think too much of it and hopped over to the door locking it as he muttered a prayer about having a lock on it on the outside. Finally having some time to think Y/n looked around the bedroom in search of his phone or some clothes he could wear.

"Where the fuck is it." Y/n groans as he searches the bedroom.

Having no luck in finding it Y/n looks for some clothes he could wear. After finding some that kinda fitted him Y/n left the room.

Y/n went inside the bathroom looking for any medicine of some sort he can take or use. Finding nothing but empty pill bottles Y/n leave the bathroom before heading to the front door.

Ignoring all the pain inside Y/n's body Y/n opens the heavy door using all his strength. Finally opening it Y/n looks outside his way too freedom as a small smile crawls onto his lips.

But soon that smile slowly fades. Y/n felt empty. He felt that he was missing something that was satisfying. Taking a few steps back Y/n turns around marching towards the kitchen before picking up the very knife he man was just using.

Y/n stared into his own reflection at the bloody knife. In the clean part of the knife showed Y/n's dirty and bloody face, but on the other side of the knife that was stained with blood the reflection showed the unsub staring into the knife.

Lowering the knife Y/n gripped onto it hard as he walked back inside the house walking through it.

Finally reaching the door he had locked the unsub inside Y/n unlocks it slowly, but before he could open it the door swings open with the unsub pouncing on him screaming and shouting.

"How dare you try to outsmart me!"

The unsub presses hard against Y/n's broken arm causing the man to let out a scream. Using the hand that Y/n held the knife with he gave a quick stab in the rib cage causing the unsub to take some weight off the agent.

Taking the opportunity Y/n pushes the unsub off of him quickly crawling on top of him before stabbing him in the chest repeatedly.

Blood splatted everywhere staining the fresh clean clothes Y/n just found with blood.

Slowly growing tired of the stabbing Y/n stood up from the dead body picking up the man and dragging him back inside the long dark hallway. Y/n lays him down on the bed with the other dead bodies around it.

More and more alive agents on the ground screaming and crying in fear looking at Y/n.

"Why are you guys screaming and crying huh!?! I'm the one who had to kill the son of the bitch! He was the bad guy not me!" Y/n screamed at the people at the floor as he waved the knife around.

"I'm the hero of the story! I was the one who outsmarted him okay!" Y/n shouts as he points his knife at them.

"Do you wanna be next! Huh? That's what I thought so shut up!" Y/n shouts one last time before limping away. After Y/n leaves the dark hallway he slams the door shutting it leaving it unlocked for those who want to leave.

Finally feeling satisfied Y/n leaves the house bloody and all.

As Y/n walks through the neibhbord he watches cop cars pull up with their sirens blazing stepping out their cars barging inside the house.

THE END

[bihanspookies]

NSFW Kano HC’s

Bc I guess I’m into him now!!!

• Get it out the way first: NO PISS

• Spit kink

• In your mouth, on your pussy/dick, in your ass

• Gathers saliva and licks his open palm and lands a loud slap on your ass cheek

• Will also do it to your pussy right on the clit and even across your face

• If you have a dick he’ll drop a fat one and watch the way it slides down the shaft and in between your balls

• “Ya like that baby? Fuckin’ dirty little bitch aintcha?”

• Will grab your jaw with one hand and squeeze your cheeks to get you to open your mouth. Makes you look him in the eye as he drops a ball of spit right on your tongue.

• “Swallow fr’ me love.”

• Dirty potty absolute sailor mouth. Will not shut the fuck up about how good you feel, how you’re being such a good little slut for him. Especially when he’s hitting it from behind with one hand gripping your ass cheek like his life depending on it while the other is scratching down your spine.

• Fucking loves to get some good ol’ sloppy toppy. Loves when you choke and gag, drool down the sides of your mouth, pretty eyes tearing up bc he’s just so big and thick.

• Doesn’t give much but when he does you better hold on tight spider monkey because you WILL feel that beard all up in there.

• Doesn’t know the meaning of slowing down. Goes in hard and nasty. Pussy? Shaking his head side to side, digging the nose into the clit, curling the tongue into your tight hole with his fingers pressing right into your thighs. Dick? Takes it like a champ tbh, all the way down to the base and swallows. Likes to suck on your balls while jerking your cock, looking you right in the eye as he does it.

• If you got a pussy he prefers for you to sit on his face, that way he can drag you across his tongue and nose and smack your ass at the same time, spread the cheeks wide.

• Dick? He likes it when you’re laying down with him kneeling at the edge of the bed.

• Kano eats ass and you can’t convince me otherwise.

• He’ll dig his tongue into that tight ring of muscles from behind. One hand on his own cock while his other fingers you/jerks you off

• Closes his eyes and groans, stopping here and there to bite hard at your ass

• He likes to finish on your face, likes to paint your features white with his cum. If not your face then in your ass bc he likes to part your cheeks and watch his fat load dribble out.

• “Lookat that darling, fuckin’ leaking out of that tight hole.”

• Will lick whatever spills out and push it back in with his tongue

• Fav positions are you riding him, mating press, from behind, standing up with him behind. If you’re facing him he’ll grab your tits, pinch your nipples, give them a slap or two. Facing away, he’ll slap your ass to hell and back.

• KNIFE PLAY? Yeah. He’ll run his butterfly knife down the center of your body while fucking you, the tip just barely poking your skin. He likes the danger and he likes how your eyes are full of fear but trust that he wouldn’t ever cut you.

• Unless you gave him strict permission to do so.

• “M’gonna come pretty, keep ya eyes open for me yeah?”

• As much as he slaps you, you better slap him back if you’re into it. Likes a person who challenges him by pulling his hair (if he’s not BALD) and slapping his face back.

• “Can hit me harder than that baby. Fuckin’ scared or somethin’? Come on, I can take it.”

• Can go for 2/3 rounds but honestly after 1 you’re absolutely spent because he fucks like a dog.

• Doesn’t mind being called daddy but if you do he WILL make it his personality while you fuck.

• “Daddy fuckin’ you good sweetheart? Lemme fuckin’ hear ya.”

That’s all I got 🧍‍♂️

[nightcolorz]

okay i swear last from me tonight and no spoilers for show but i need armand happiness can we have some book armand / devils minion headcanons. literally about anything- their relationship, what they like to do, post canon, general armandisms that make me love him So Much?

don’t worry about bothering me I love when u interact with me <33 ok so I have a rlly cringe post canon devils minion head canon that I have been wanting to talk about but it’s rlly cringe and self indulgent 😭💔 but tbh, about as cringe as anything in late book canon so 🤷 I hope u enjoy and it makes u feel better, it’s my go to comfort headcanon

so I think Anne rices canon introduction of “through Science™️ vampires can conceive children with the help of DNA 🧬 , but they will come out as genetic clones, literally like identical twins but they r ur child, and lestat has a canon clone son” is a stroke of unhinged world building genius that is greatly underutilized by the fandom! I also think the vampire chronicles fandom is rlly missing out on some cringe fandom trademarks (like fandom ocs, ridiculous aus, stuff like that) bcus of the lawsuit thing probably. So anyway, I made the change I want to see in the world, and I have a genetic clone fan child oc 🙏. inspired by Armand’s canonically paternal personality and nurturing tendencies and soft spot for children, I like to think that way way post canon (around modern day) Armand and Daniel decide to Start A Family, and go through the process lestat did of conceiving a clone child with a surrogate (through armands dna), and they have a son (clone of Armand) named Ivan (after Armand’s father, I’m sappy) ! 🥰🥰 . It’s so silly I know, but I think having the opportunity to raise a human child and getting to give him and watch him live the mortal life he constantly envies and hoped to be able to provide Benji and Sybelle (before it was stripped from them) would be like, rlly good for Armand, and definitely I could see him in later canon wanting to pursue having a child with Daniel bcus of this unresolved grief. The clone layer, as ridiculous as it is, adds another dimension of sappy bcus not only will Armand get to live out the catharsis of giving a human child the fulfilled human life he never got, he will also get to see *himself*, or an almost too literal embodiment of his inner child, get to experience what he never did, and live that happy and safe childhood that Armand was deprived of. I think watching his son who looks just like him grow up and become a man while Armand is eternally frozen as a teen would be hard for him, but still healing and important.

So in my heart, post canon Armand and Daniel have their shit together enough to healthily (tho imperfectly) raise their clone son Ivan, who lives and dies a mortal. Ivan is the most spoiled child to ever live and he has a lavish playroom that is practically a house, fifty iPads, probably like ten ponies, etc etc. I imagine since he shares so much of Armand’s dna he strongly carry’s a lot of his traits, such as autism and strong hyper fixations. And I like to think he’s a little bit of a brat like Armand was as a child🙏 especially since his other dad Daniel does little to discourage those tendencies 😭. Ivan is a screen addict, a model train addict, and a Wolf Kid. He grows up to be the freakiest, strangest, long haired big bearded 5’6 ginger man at the gay bar. As a toddler Armand dresses him like a tiny fancy little man bcus he won’t have any son of his committing any fashion crimes, but unfortunately for Armand Ivan takes after Dad-niel in the fashion department and by the time he’s able to dress himself he wears wolf themed t-shirts and cargo shorts everyday 💔💔

Daniel is rlly naturally good with kids which is incredibly sexy and romantic to Armand. He’s the fun dad 💀 Armand is a little too strict and a little to over protective bcus of how trauma based I imagine his parenting would be, and daniels laid back, comfy and understanding energy helps level that out. When he’s a teenager Ivan goes through a rebellious emo phase and Armand and Daniel have to spend all of their energy desperately trying to ensure Ivan doesn’t tap into his addiction gene or his strong susceptibility to inheriting his father’s personality disorders 💀. He is very doted on and very loved, he is given more care and attention than any other child would be capable of receiving 😭. Armand is convinced he’s a child genius and will definitely cure cancer and become a world leader, so he tends to parade him around like his prized possession that everyone needs to know is incredibly special during Vampire Family reunions or whatever goes on post canon. ivan is not allowed to interact with Most vampires, except for Uncle Louis, who finds it emotionally difficult to be around children 😭 and Uncle Lestat (only under careful supervision of Uncle Louis), who loves throwing Ivan around like a ragdoll and telling him embarrassing facts about Armand 💀

I hope u like this lol, thank u for the ask!!! <33 u r always welcome to ask me for headcanons or ask for my thoughts, that is my favorite thing. Anyways, for those who r invested, here’s my Ivan art

[creatingblackcharacters]

hi! i'm really enjoying going through your tutorials :)

i'm working on a Black OC right now and was wondering some stuff i haven't seen you cover on hair and skin care routines.

for one, he shaves his head. this is for practical and religious reasons - he's a paladin with a busy schedule who can expect to see at least minor combat any given day (he works as the head of a correctional facility) and he doesn't have time/energy/resources to take care of hair a lot of the time. the shaving isn't tied to his oath but he does think of it as an important part of his group identity within his Order.

as for skin, he's an older man, in his mid-60's - i imagine him with some pretty deep-set wrinkles. but he's a very mindful sort who, while he doesn't get much spare time, would care enough to regularly maintain his skin's health.

in particular i've heard that face shaving looks very different for Black men than what i'm used to as a white guy. there's more razor bumps, so a lot of them use a shaving powder for their facial hair, i've heard? so i was wondering if you know more about that, because Black skincare is a bit of a mystery to me.

so basically if i wanted to give this guy a spa day, to maintain the clean shave and nice lustrous (or at least not dried out) skin, what might that look like? i'd love your take on that or really anything else that you think would make for a more military-friendly hygiene routine.

thank you so much for all you're doing here. you're giving my white boy ass some great resources - i appreciate it :)

Essential Guide to Beard Care for Black Men

Shaving Tips for Black Men

Imma be honest with you: my dad shaved bald very often during my life, and never once did he use a "powder". Idk what you're talking about for that one 😅 But I mean, from what I read, and from what I observed from him, it's not like it's all that different or specific. What really makes the difference is that bc our hair is more coarse, it's easier to get ingrown hairs.

Since this is in a fantasy era, he'd need to bathe with warm/hot water and soap so his face and head are clean, then use a sharp razor and good shaving cream (preferably one that could nourish his skin too). don't shave against the grain to prevent bumps and scarring. Aftershave is a big one; that helps with disinfecting the area and preventing razor bumps- I use witch hazel with rose water, which already sounds fantasy-like, but any astringent that disinfects but won't be too dry like alcohol works. Then a moisturizer for his face.

If he's serious about daily neat facial care, then he needs to be washing his face with soap twice a day, and using the in universe equivalent of a sunscreen moisturizer. Yes, Black people need sunscreen. 👍🏾

Tbh, now I'm wondering- what do y'all do, if not this?

[blubushie]

tbh, as a woman who hangs out in communities where alot of middle aged men are guaranteed to gather around, you really hit the nail on the head. i've yet to find a tf2 fic that actually captures that male camaraderie that i've seen from the men around me.

Also, knowing this is the queer website and that much of the TF2 fandom is transmasc, I'm gonna address this so these kids can't go "I don't do that!! I'm a man!! I know what men act like because I-"

Men in queer spaces don't act the same way in the queer space as they do outside of it. I know I don't, cuz people get judgy. Queer community does not like men or masculinity. If you look too much like a man, or act too manly/boyish, or engage in male behaviours even with other men, they will look down on you. The only acceptable men are behaviorally effeminate, androgynous white twinks. If you divert from this in any way—too masculine, too POC, too physically male, too tall or fat or broad—they will treat you like a predator.

So a lot of these people, if they are interacting with men, are often interacting with other young transmascs who aren't socialised in male behaviour yet (usually online), or with men in queer spaces only—men who are masking. And they think men are just like this all the time.

And any man who doesn't play up the effeminate harmless uwu-shyboy persona is now scary or being toxically masculine because he's engaging in friendly ribbing with another man while being in a queer space.

I noticed it especially when me and an older bear went to a queer event (separately, we didn't come together) and he was practically ostracised because he's tall and bearded and bald and hairy and fat and very obviously male. And it turns out he was a trans man and he felt he didn't have a place in this event because everyone shunned him, or somehow managed to bring up toxic masculinity and how they don't feel safe with men in certain spaces, all in front of him while very obviously targeting him. The younger transmascs, of which there was quite a few, agreed with this. They ALSO didn't feel comfortable with him there because he was TOO male despite being just as queer as the rest of them (if not more—he was in his 50s and the oldest person there and had been out since his early 20s, so he defo had the most life experience of everyone there as far as the trans folk were concerned).

So naturally he and I hit it off. We separated off from the group, got drinks, and spent the afternoon in the corner, just us, discussing boats and fishing and lightly ribbing each other and laughing to ourselves while everyone else kept giving us glares and side-glances. Men are not welcome in queer spaces. Masculinity is not welcome in queer spaces. People treat ANY instance of masculinity as toxic. And so these young transmascs lost out on a perfect opportunity to see how men actually interact with each other, because the only other men they're actually interacting with are other trans men who don't know how men socialised as male act either.

It's kinda sad, in a way. Cuz they're gonna continue not knowing, and when the day comes they're gonna be blindsided and not know a fucken thing about how to be men in social environments because they don't wanna listen to or observe other men, not even the transmascs what came before them. Masculinity scary or some shit. And this is why it's SO IMPORTANT to have people outside of your familiar circle or your social group or your echo chamber as friends. It's why you should befriend your elders and learn from them, not shrink in fear cuz beards are scary or something. Not everyone can be a skinny white transmasc twink and not everyone WANTS to be. Masculinity is NOT a bad thing.

Anyway rant over. Point is these people don't know what male comraderie looks like cuz they don't actually put themselves out there to experience or observe it. Or even just engage in media where it's plainly showcased. 🤷‍♂️

[lady-of-the-puddle]

All right I've been holding this back for a while but now you get to see my

Rating Tron's Exes

list

The boy:

See? him face

And now the exes:

FIRST UP WE HAVE

1. Dyson

Bougie Rat Bastard 3000

Is the Worst™

Absolute dork loser

Made a grab for power and betrayed his brother his captain hiS KING

Not even hot

2/10 Sucks like the vacuum he is

2. Clu

Discount fuck boi god wannabe

Okay listen

There's chemistry between them

Even if it's toxic af

He's part of Kevin of course he and Tron dated

Yes it was full of hate

Esp when he was stuck as Rinzler 😏

But sometimes u gotta date an asshole to know what u dont want

0/10 Actual Nazi

3. Able

Daddy? Sorry

FATHER material

Has stable job and income

Firm but kind and caring

Will tell u to stfu

Divorce was mutual and they got split custody of Beck so pretty chill breakup overall

10/10 Need I say more

4. Cyrus

Boundaries Were Crossed

Yet another betrayal *sigh*

My boi Tron knows how to pic em

Somehow more crazy than Clu

But less Nazi at least???

Spectacular revenge plot tbh

Looks pretty sick 😎

World's Messiest Breakup

5/10 Dedicated to the bit

4.1 Beck

CRACK SHIP I SWEAR

I know y'all are about to come for me

But listen

Programs have no concept of age

This ship is purely for fun for me, I highly ship them as father and son usually (see: Able)

Something about the desperation and trust issues between them speak to me

We all know it would never work out

7/10 doomed by the narrative (if we HAD ANY)

5. Flynnster

fuck boi God SUPREME

I am highly biased on this

loves Tron so much he ported him from the old system

Spent more time with him than with his own son (-1 point for that)

named everything after him

Tron was ready to give up his own life to save him

ANGST

never officially broke up but he thought he was derezzed so that counts

9/10 HERE WE STAND WORLDS APART HEARTS BROKEN IN T- ok I'll stop

6. Ram

Cinnamon Roll too pure yadda yadda

Wide eyed sweetheart

Never did anything wrong in his short cycle

Was in a brief polycule with Tron and Flynn

Only broke up because he derezzed

What's not to like

11/10 perfect angle

7. Yori

HER

Unpopular opinion y'all are about to murder me

They were each other's beards

She's a nerd lesbian

Because she's hot and I want a chance with her I want her to be

They simply realized they preferred other programs and amicably broke up

She calls him up from the first system every now and then and they spill some hot tea and rebellion tips

100/10 bc im in love with her here have another pic

Anyone I missed?

In conclusion, all users and programs desire Tron carnally, grid's biggest slut, he's in nothing and is my everything thank you for coming to my TRON Talk next time I'll rate Beck's exes cause that's been overcooking in my brain too

[amypihcs]

Hello! As late as usual and a bit more frozen than usual! Let's see today's story!

Holmes just wants to do his scrapbooking! He doesn't want a case now! Leave him ALONE!

heyheyhey! This is playing DIRTY!

Holmes being quite a bit vain (and this we already knew) and also very very kind. Lol, the comment of not being seen for weeks! Mrs Hudson only sees him on an almost daily basis because she's FAMILY and adopted him! And worries if he doesn't eat his dinner. Well, what's the MATTER with this lodger?

Ah, the landlady is anxious, how to find any fault in it! And who wouldn't be calmed by staring into Holmes' eyes? lol. Bet that Watson speaks also for personal experience (when he has nightmares), for exemple.

Now remember, EVEN THE TINIEST DETAIL!

This smells a lot of Mafia, tbh. And usually there is fire when there's smoke. mmmhn we'll see. What about the food? Watson stop glaring

W-why printing? (also guess that printing means not writing in cursive?) This is an actually weird way of communication. Well, the idea of concealing the handwriting is good, tbh but again, WHY. Also, short messages and apparently the lodger seems very cautious. How did he look? this lodger, i mean...

Oh this smells SO MUCH of mafia...

Well, you MUST enter the room in the morning? can't do otherwise!

WATSON STOP GLARING! Looks after himself? WEIRD.

AH! Something to observe, finally!

H: He has a beard... but he can't have smoked these! Watson, even with your pretty modest mustache it wouldn't be possible! It would be singed, and it would be such a pity... W: Holmes, stop staring at my mouth, you'll have your kisses. Later H: Alright, alright, spoilsport.

The landlady goes away, Holmes gets his kisses and then back to the analysis!

This lodger might not be the bearded man who took the keys! It's an idea. But WHY?

WELL, we can always look in the AGONY COLUMNS! scrapbooking for win! I love how Granada Holmes has his whole little art attack project with the agony columns! He's cute!

AND THEY FIND THE MESSAGES! yahoo! Maybe in the following day's gazette....

THE MANTLEPIECE POSE! YES! only, Holmes should be happier, but it's alright! Holmes is feeling very satisfied of himself and HEY! CLIENT? What? Hey, they kidnapped her husband... and then let him go? He's shoked? oh damn!

Nice, time to see this guy! Ah you say you can give us a hiding place? NICE! we'll be there!

Uuuuh! Here's the house of the last ad on the paper! Ah, is the hideout ready? yay

W-what? Oke, the substitution, but... WITH A WOMAN? WOW. And such a woman to impress HOLMES! Stuff to meditate on!

Oh, come on, Watson! I have made a cute deduction! Well, probably she's entangled or well, she and her man are entangled in a matter of life or death! -vibing holmes noises-

-Holmes is vibing HARDER- While he tells Watson that it's of course l'art pour l'art! (This passage sounds soooo early case! later Watson would know already!)

Evening and they're at the landlady's again! -i'll be very italian now-

A CODE A CODE A CODE! Eh, Holmes! You should practice your italian a bit more! 'Attenta' means a lot of stuff, as you are freaking out she is understanding (Also the proof that us Italian women as so cool that we even manage to impress Sherlock Holmes uwu) Meanwhile, Holmes sclerandone (sardinian way of speaking) and Watson proposing a cipher and in fact...

AAAAH! You remember your italian at last! HEY! more messages!

Holmes going 'WTF's happening now?', freaking out a bit more but no Watson, stay with me! (Yes, Holmes 'pericolo' means 'danger', glad you remember your lessons) We're going to investigate now!

And we'll see their discoveries in the next story!

Vibing a lot with the last part in italian! yes!

[beanghostprincess]

Just imagine trans man sanji adoring and worshiping his beautiful trans girl usopp. Calling her usopp darling and giving her desserts and treats. Braiding her hair with flowers and vines. Every time she wears a new outfit he swoons.

During her transition he would compliment her. pointing out her soft shin, thicker hair and her fuller eyelashes. He would also admire other developing features (he tries to be subtle but he's terrible at it ) He becomes so infatuated with her that he ignores Nami and Robin.

Robin thinks it's sweet how he treats his girlfriend like a goddess but Nami is kinda pissed that she doesn't get desserts or fancy drinks from him anymore or at least she's not the first person to get it. He tries to go shopping with her and the girls. He carries her bags and offers to buy anything she wants. He low key be annoying the fuck out of Nami, she just wants one day with just the girls

Every time she compliments him sanji just falls in love again. After a mission or arc when they meet back up. Sanji will just run to her with open arms just missing her presence. He also starts fights with Zoro (he also be beating the shit out of Brooke when he questions her about her panties ) every time he looks or talks to usopp, God forbid he compliments her.

She also enjoys his company, tho sometimes he's a lot. She enjoys the down time. Her favorite thing to do is self care. cutting his hair, trimming his beard fixing his eyebrows. He loves giving her a facial and mani pedis. Both relaxing and gender affirming. She thinks it's funny how head over heels for her. She can't help but laugh every time he falls over himself running in for an embrace. She also kinda takes advantage of it as well. She bats an eyelash, twirls her dress and she has a new barrel of gunpowder and a new sun hat.

Okay, so this concept makes me go utterly insane. Thank you for the food, anon. I'm literally going wild right now. They're the cutest most beautiful and romantic thing I have ever witnessed.

When Usopp comes out to the crew, anxious they won't accept her, Sanji instantly relates to everything she says. Because of course, she explains how she feels first. Like she doesn't belong in her own body and how she wishes to be different- Not to be treated that differently. But just... Different. Like she's lying to herself and others. And it's the first time she doesn't want to live inside of a lie. So, yeah, she explains everything to them and Sanji already kind of knows where she's going with this because he relates to all of this. Of course, everyone accepts her right away and Nami and Robin are the happiest they've ever been to have one more girl in the crew (I think they already sort of knew? It's not hard to know when Usopp already spent all the time with them and always asked to be included in their typical ""girl"" things).

They are already dating when Usopp comes out, and... Well, you know how Sanji is with women. He goes kind of, sort of insane. This is actually hilarious because Usopp was highly worried (she has her valid reasons to be worried, tbh) Sanji wouldn't take it well. Even if he's trans too, his views on gender are a bit... Let's call it complex. But Sanji is just-- Lovestruck. It changes his life forever. He already treated Usopp like the most perfect person in the world but now she's his queen. His goddess. His princess. Sanji becomes even more of a malewife than he already is.

The hearts in his eyes? The heart-shaped smoke? His constant yelling of "Mellorine! Mellorine! Mellorine!"? He becomes even more annoying. And even if Usopp is calmer when it comes to these things, she's enjoying every second of it. The fact that he's treating her the same exact way he treats all women makes her gender euphoria go insane. This is the perfect way to validate her gender, tbh.

One Piece characters are actually so lucky to have Ivankov in their lives because they just need to make a lil call and they are there helping trans people out! So, yeah, they call Ivankov because it's the easiest way to transition. Quick path. Easy solution. Ivankov we love you. And I can only imagine the crew (Robin calls Sabo who calls Ivankov and for the sake of my ASL and revolutionary brain I need Sabo and Koala to come along too just to be with Luffy and Robin in the background) waiting outside in the deck while Ivankov and Usopp talk together inside the ship. Sanji is foaming at the mouth. He's running around the deck. Pacing back and forth. Probably having a heart attack from the anticipation. He's so not ready. And Chopper is already prepared to take care of him if he has a stroke.

Okay, so Usopp comes out of the room. And she's- Okay, she hasn't changed that much. Her body is a bit slimmer but she still has muscles, she doesn't have the biggest boobs (that would be super uncomfortable for her job as a sharpshooter, honestly) but she has, and Sanji notices (because we love him but we all know that's the first thing he would stare at. Don't lie. Don't say he wouldn't. He would). She has longer eyelashes, a more noticeable collarbone, softer hair... (Gotta mention that I highly think she would not want a bottom surgery because having a penis seems to be the easiest most effective way to live. No period and you can pee more easily. Like, be honest with me. Look me in the eyes and tell me Usopp wouldn't keep that out of efficiency). She's holding back her tears when she meets with everyone (Ivankov being the proudest queen in the world right now) and the crew doesn't wait a single second. They quickly approach her, look at her, and support her. She's crying and she's just- She's so happy. She feels complete. And Sanji stays behind for a few seconds because he needs a moment to take everything in. He literally can't believe that's his girlfriend. Usopp hasn't even changed much, tbh, she just... She looks happier. Like herself. Sanji is still trying to process everything when she approaches him, a bit shy but teasing him (knowing how he's feeling, kind of). She says something like "Do you like it? I didn't want Ivan to change my body much but-"

"I love you." He's so serious about this it's almost scary.

"Uh- Wha-"

"I love you. You have- You have no idea." And Sanji just decides to kiss her right there in front of everyone because, for him, Usopp is the only person right now in the world.

When they separate, Usopp smiles widely, and that is what makes Sanji have the worst nosebleed of his life. Thank God Chopper was prepared for this.

They were clingy before, alright. So now it's- It's unbearable to be around them. Everyone thinks they're cute but God, Zoro, and Nami can't fucking stand the sight of them. Not because they are not happy, it's just that they're so fucking loud and don't care who sees them being cheesy. Nami misses her girlfriend Vivi, c'mon, a bit of respect. And Zoro has Luffy and he's equally as clingy, ngl, he just hates Sanji being even more annoying now.

But they're the happiest they've ever been.

The worst time is when they have to go to sleep because Usopp wants to go with the girls because their room is, quite honestly, way better than the boys' room. It smells better. It's tidy. It's cute. It's calm. And Usopp sleeps so peacefully there... But Sanji keeps pulling her into hugs and kisses when she says she wants to go to sleep because he can't stand the thought of not sleeping with her anymore. And she also misses his presence at night, don't get her wrong! She loves cuddling with him! But sometimes her love for Sanji isn't as strong as her love for the lavender scent the girls' room has. But, yeah, saying goodbye before going to sleep feels like torture for both and they spend an hour kissing and being clingy with each other before going to sleep. If they do other NSFW stuff in a private room before that, I leave it to your imagination.

When Sanji wakes up earlier than the others, he makes breakfast for everyone but Usopp's plate is always treated with more love and way more heart-shaped fruits and ingredients. Sometimes they're decorated with flowers, too. Sanji even creates new dishes and calls them by Usopp's names. He even makes a cocktail called Sogequeen (Sogequeen sounds cool af, you can't deny that). They're the clingiest during the day. Sanji pulls her into kisses and hugs her every time he can no matter what she's doing. She does the same, always kissing his cheek when he brings food to her while she's working. Sanji literally yells how much he loves her from the other side of the ship when more than an hour passes by. He goes shopping with the girls only to carry her bags. He is literally lovestruck when he sees her fighting and whenever she's in danger he doesn't hesitate to beat the shit out of anyone who touches her.

Like, we all agree that if Sanji already goes insane when somebody hurts Usopp, them being established and also Usopp being a girl would make Sanji go fucking batshit, right? Like- If a villain hurts his girlfriend, they'll probably end up fucking dead. There's no way you can survive Sanji's attack after that. And after beating that person up he quickly goes to his girlfriend to check if she's okay. And the other way around, too! If Sanji has to fight against a girl and he can't hit her, Usopp is there for him to do it instead. And he hypes her up so much!! Like yeah!! That's my girlfriend right there!!!

Whenever a fight ends, Sanji quickly goes to Usopp to hug her. Every moment they are not together, Sanji dies a little. Dude is down bad.

Even Nami is jealous because she doesn't have the same treatment Usopp gets. She liked being the most spoiled one!! Usopp won't stop bragging about her privileges, though, always manipulating Sanji a lil bit to get more attention from him. And he loves it, honestly. Every time Usopp looks at him, he has a heart attack and thanks the gods for sending an angel like Usopp to him.

Then, Whole Cake Island happens. And Usopp isn't there because she refuses to go and see Sanji getting married to somebody else, so she asks Luffy to please bring him back to her. Zoro is a huge support for her when they're in Wano and Usopp has to wait for Sanji to come back to them, surprisingly enough. Zoro and Usopp being besties my beloved! Anyway, WCI happens. Sanji comes back to them. The first fucking thing Sanji does when they see each other is asking Usopp if she wants to marry him when they finish their fight against Kido. If they survive this, he's marrying her no matter what.

I didn't want to make this long but I'm obsessed with this concept, honestly. Sanji's love for women makes me ill (in a good way) and the way he loves his girlfriend Usopp and supports her makes me go insane too. God, they're so so so so sweet. Perfect for each other.

[lastoneout]

I love a good taxi/uber/lyft story!

Okay there are three people who stand out as the weirdest drivers I've ever had:

A guy who showed up in the nicest, fanciest car I'd ever seen in my life--like I think it was a Chevy Malibu??--in basically pristine condition aside from the fact that it absolutely REAKED of weed and had a thin blue line bumper sticker on the back, who was also listening to a true crime podcast about a serial killer and then said halfway through the ride, completely unprompted, that he "liked this episode bcs his uncle was a prime suspect in the case". Truly the most fascinating person I've ever met.

An old dude with a huge white beard wearing a bright red sweatshirt + sweatpants combo, who told me he used to work as a mall Santa before spending the entire rest of the drive ranting about how stupid anti-maskers are.

A lady who had a whole-ass bearded dragon hanging out on her shoulder. He had a tiny, home-made neon vest and leash and while I'm not an expert he seemed remarkably chill about the whole thing and stared at me for a bit before falling asleep halfway through the ride. The lady also told me tons of stuff about her other bearded dragon who wasn't with her at the time. I gave her a huge tip.

So yeah using uber/lyft/taxis means you meet a lot of the coolest, weirdest people ever, and tbh it's pretty great lol

(Also honorary mention to the VERY old guy who picked me up once post-eye exam when my eyes were dilated who's gps just straight up was not working and so I had to try to give him directions despite us living in The Sunniest Place On Earth which meant I couldn't see shit. We nearly died I'm pretty sure. It was terrifying but also fun.)

[ovaryacted]

I need old man Chris Redfield carnally. Like, just, GOOD GOD. He was attractive enough, but somehow him being older (and an adopted dad to baby Rose!) just makes him even HOTTER to me, somehow. I need to ride his face- but also suck his cock and treat him Gently, because he's been through so much 🥺 Just. Please.

Me getting a Chris Redfield ask after all of this time omg?? This is so crazy and real, but I'm digging it. Thank you for your thoughts anon, I gotta say I was very surprised when I saw this message flow through, but I am certainly not upset by it.

Yeah, even though I don't talk about Resident Evil anymore and am just enjoying that interest on a personal level, I have a huge huge soft spot for Chris Redfield, particularly his RE8 model. A couple of months ago when I stopped giving a shit about Leon Kennedy tbh, I legit fell in love with Chris, it happened out of nowhere. (I technically liked Chris before I liked Leon but shhh). I was putting him in situations, making him the softest guy around despite being 6 ft of pure muscle. I loved him, adored him so bad and I still do.

I just love male characters that look physically big as a result of trauma or what they do and they still hold a particular softness towards those that they're meant to protect. Like even though we didn't get explicit content about this, I wholeheartedly believe that Chris raised baby Rose and took care of her the best way he knew how, keeping his promise to Ethan that he will look out for her. He looks out for everyone else without caring what happens to him, shit like that makes you just want to take care of him and give him the soft life.

He's just such a man, a real fucking provider that gets shit done, and not to mention a leader. He literally goes by the codename Alpha, like yeah he's the big dog. And sure, he's seen as this funny silly guy from when he was younger in the first game, but he's been through some shit. The version I really love from him is his RE8 model, and I'd still fuck him in a heartbeat. He's not even that old either, like late 40s ain't so bad, I need to see him gray a bit more with a full beard. Then we're talking.

[nectar-cellar]

💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other sim-blogs to do the same 💕

i love this question, thank you for spreading the positivity!!

i really love my vlad and bella one shot. i make story posts so rarely because i struggle with writer's block and writing is a skill i don't often practice. i cant even name the last book/story i read... i've really neglected my hobby of reading and writing. but i just love the photography and mini story i came up with for that.

here's the link for those who want to read it from start to finish.

i kind of cringe at the writing tbh. but it's ok. i give myself permission to write imperfectly.

obviously, my count vlad sim is one of my favourite sims i've ever made. sometimes i change up his beard and his outfit, but his face has stayed the same, that's how perfect he is to me. 💘

for my cc, i can't believe i've actually created so much stuff when you browse through the tag on my blog. i love the sportswear set i came up with. at first i just wanted to make a tight compression shirt. then my ideas kept expanding until it ended up as a whole set. also, i got a few people to test it out for me and i loved seeing their sims wearing it. i think that download sums up my blog and sense of humour pretty well. i can't believe how many downloads it got and i often see it in other people's screenshots. i just love it. show me all your pixel beefcake.

i am also really proud of the beard packs i made. first, because figuring How To Make A Beard was such a journey. second, because i use those beards sooo much on my own sims and they just make them look so good UGH! third, because they're also the items that get downloaded the most which i never expected. at first i only planned to make one beard pack, i never thought i'd end up getting so many ideas or that i would be able to actually execute them. i see those beards in so many ts3 screenshots here, on twitter, and on youtube, it just makes me feel like wow i really contributed something to this community that everyone can enjoy over and over again.

and i can't even take full credit for making them because they wouldn't have been possible without the textures by @/imamiii , simple life, omega starr, etc. so it almost feels like a tribute to the creators who came before me and whose stuff i loved before i ever was a cc creator. that is how i feel about making cc, like it's my way of giving back and continuing the tradition of making and sharing cc for fun, creativity, and community above everything. 💗

[for-a-longlongtime]

Bestie I have a very important question about your Maverick series. When you visualise him, is your Marcus Pike a clean shaven Marcus, or Marcus with scruff? Field research attached.

BESTIE I absolutely love this question!!! I'm always up for endless character talk tbh, and this one is particularly interesting for me, esp because I don't quite consider myself to be a Marcus girlie.

First things first: Marcus with the (canon) revenge beard is 100% my Marcus in general. When I see 'current day' Marcus with Tim (for my Rockford/Pena WIP), he's looking exactly like that.

It's not just because I think it's so attractive, but the actual way that Pedro plays Marcus in that final Mentalist episode is SO different from the rest of it. He holds his body differently, he takes up space differently, there's an extra confidence in how he talks (down to his cadence), his facial expressions - everything. You can really see that he has played Oberyn at that point and not only sharpened his acting skills a lot, but just generally seems more confident and aware of how he can convey a lot without even talking.

HOWEVER.

The Maverick series takes place about two years before my Rockford/Pena WIP, and in my head this is definitely clean shaven Marcus. I can even be really specific: this was the gif I had in mind of him, but then kneeled in front of (Fight Night locker room scene) Frankie who has one hand in his hair. This style is also pretty close to how I see Marcus when he and Tim met & became a couple.

So this Marcus is indeed a little younger, a little different kind of confidence, and really (as @theywhowriteandknowthings said) A Good Boy™. I was surprised to have him pop up, but I could see immediately how he and Frankie would get along in several ways; these two are pretty different personality wise, but Frankie likes how Marcus is all bright eyed, cheerful and social but without being annoying. He wasn't expecting or looking to get to know him initially, it was just a matter of attraction and lust in that locker room. But when they met up that second time, he just found himself a lot more into Marcus than he expected. He's not exactly Frankie's usual type, but that's also why they click.

Now, looking a little ahead again -- to the Rockford/Pena WIP, where Marcus is rocking the revenge beard and has the confidence etc that comes with that. Personally, I see that as some influence on him by Frankie, especially with the scruff. I feel like Frankie brings out some parts of Marcus that he maybe wasn't too familiar with yet, and that definitely impacts him, even in the way he carries himself (aka 'the Oberyn effect').

There's one fun tidbit I can tell you re: Marcus in that WIP; there are going to be some flashbacks to about 8 years ago (which would be 6 years before the Maverick series takes place) to an even younger Marcus, who meets another crucial person in his life/in that WIP. The visual for Marcus at that time is very much Zach Wellison vibes:

SO. To quote Pedro, "I bet you weren't expecting me to start telling you this long story", LOL. But this is how I see him/them in my fic! Thank you for giving me an opportunity to wax about this, I love it 💜 Feel free to ask questions anytime!