#his behavior this weekend really caught me off guard

[fayeandknight]

I am pulling Forte from public access. While service dogs in training have full public access rights in the two states I occupy most, I no longer feel comfortable taking him into non pet friendly places.

His behavior at the beach the second day was really rough but I justified it due to the extreme weather conditions. However he was reactive on the hike (two days later) any time I couldn't create enough space between him and other dogs.

Growling at dogs who passed us at narrow spaces on the trail even if they were ignoring him. Growling at dogs who passed too close to our table while we were eating. Also there was some serious codependent stress with Faye that I don't know if it is a recent development or I just haven't been in a position to bring it out before.

When I take the dogs on outings it's either one on one or I'm handling both. But today I had a family member handling Faye and Forte had a really hard time with it.

When she was ahead of us his was pulling and whining and stressed out about not being next to her. He was better when we took the lead position but it's definitely an issue that he struggled with having her just a few paces ahead.

So yeah, I'm pulling him from PA until I can get these things sorted. I have some game plans in mind and I'll be consulting my boss for an outside perspective.

First and foremost, I just don't want him to have to live like that. I don't want him to be stressed out and reacting to other dogs who are just crossing paths with him. Nor do I want having Faye with us to be a source of anxiety.

But also that behavior is entirely unacceptable for a service dog, even one in training. I won't risk him reacting to another team in a non pet friendly place because that could put them in a bad position. I will not jeopardize another team for the sake of my own ego.

We'll keep practicing task work because he enjoys it. But public stuff will be in pet friendly places with confident neutrality as the goal. I'm hopeful we can work through it. But at this point we need to take a big step back and focus on him being okay around dogs.

It sucks. It really fucking sucks. And I feel a great deal of shame in admitting this. But this blog is meant to document our journey and sticking my head in the sand serves no one. Sometimes there are setbacks. Sometimes everything is going great until it isn't. Forte isn't a bad dog, he's just struggling. And it's my job to acknowledge that and help him through it.

[wakanai]

Happy Birthday to My Beloved Blorbo, Oda Sakunosuke! 🎉

AAAAAAA

he's so beautiful I can't-

(long post ahead)

this is the guy who

used to be an assassin at age 14

quit his job after reading a book and meeting its author (asagiri behavior btw - the 'left his job cause he wanted to write' part lol)

saw an injured dazai and brought him in his house (lit the equivalent of seeing a random injured criminal and knowingly bringing him into your house lol)

wrapped dazai in a blanket, trapped him in his house until he recovered safely

reacted to dazai's unhinged behavior and threats with an 'oh okay' attitude (unironically btw. he's really just like that TT)

was strong enough to be mistaken for a WHOLE organization

no one even had clues that it was him TT

made dazai embarrassed

“Of course, you would be wary of the switch. So, I had to distract you by conversation.”

“So, the games and the flow of conversation till now, were both according to your plan, you mean?”

“Hehe. Saying important things as a camouflage to get what you want. That is the basis of the negotiation technique.”

I ask as I organize the cards, “Which is camouflage of which?”

Dazai's expression turns blank for a second, as if he has been caught off guard. But it is only for a moment. He turns his head to the side to hide his expression and smiles. If I am not wrong, there is an embarrassed expression on his face. It is under the dark lighting of the bar, so I might have been mistaken though.

-- The Day I Picked Up Dazai (TDIPUD) (translation by @popopretty; you can find it in her tags i think)

^^ LOL. Oda 'I might have been mistaken' Sakunosuke (this is the guy who understood Dazai the most)

had a conversation with Shibusawa in Dead Apple and wasn't killed - in fact, Shibasawa even wanted to talk to him again if he had the chance (Oda TT he's got that 'I attract mentally unstable people and fix them' rizz lmao. Fyodor, take down notes).

did not expect Dazai to ask for a second meeting:

Dazai’s wounds have already crossed the most critical time. Just leave them like that and they will heal on their owns. My role here is over. So is our relationship.

Dazai nods and takes the cards from me. Then in a casual tone, he says those words.

“When are we meeting next?”

I stop what I am doing and look at Dazai.

-- TDIPUD

(Oda really said 'no' to attachment issues SAJDIAFJ. he's the kind of wonderful guy you meet once online and feel sad cause you can't find them again TT)

was the lowest ranking member in the mafia (and he slayed it too. did the jobs no one else wanted ugh)

despite the typical black-suit-shades look that low ranking mafiosos wore, Oda wore a BRIGHT COLORED, beige cream coat (do yall realize how much this must have made him stand out?? in a pool full of black - he stood out. Also the fact that mafiosos wear black so that blood isn't visible when it stains -- but Oda DECIDED TO STOP killing people hence why he didn't need to wear black. UgH such an icon ✨.)

survived the Dragon Heads Conflict (obviously 🙄)

adopted 5 orphans from that conflict

supported them financially, visited them on weekends, left them under the care of the curry-shop owner, connected w them!!!

managed a few shops for the mafia (reread Dark Era if you missed this detail; p. 94)

listener friend; listened to Dazai's antics and took them seriously (I bet he's the type who never forgets any minor detail their friend tells him)

joined in Dazai's chaos and hugged and tickled Ango (sibling behavior lol. Oda's just as chaotic - only difference is he does it with a straight face 😭 if Oda was in the ADA, Kunikida would grow white hair LOL. Imagine the chaos he and Dazai would bring TT - plus Dazai would be 10x happier. friendly reminder that Dazai gave Ango and Oda drugged food and when he offered to cook again, Oda's response was 'If it keeps you from getting tired, then it might be pretty useful before a hard day's work' like BRUH elfeofk.)

this isn't noticeable at first but despite always seeing himself as less than Dazai cause of their rank, Oda literally called Dazai by his name in front of the other mafia members (and no - he didn't even consciously think about it 😭). Imagine being a random mafioso and suddenly you see the lowest ranking member call an executive informally. like??? Oda's co-workers would call Dazai 'Dazai-san' while Oda be out there speaking casually like 'hey dude.' It's funny cause Oda is dense so he prob didn't even think of 'Office Codes' (yk the typical social rules where if ur friends w ur boss u call them formally at work? yea. Oda does not care LOL.)

He has good intuition

[Then I looked myself in my room and cycled through my thoughts [...] I listened only to my heartbeat as I observed the emotions bubbling up from within me like foam. I had a feeling something would happen[...]it was the small tinge everyone gets before something's about to happen. But realistically, there was virtually nothing I could do about it until it actually occurred and slapped me in the face. The world isn't kind. You have to be tough.] << relatable.

He sassed Mori HELP 😂😭

"At any rate, you just got here. You did not see a thing. Understand?"

"Yes, sir." I nodded in agreement. [...] "I only just arrived. Thank you for taking a break from undressing a young girl and chasing her around the room for me. So what was it you needed me for?"

The boss pinched his brows together for a few moments to think before nodding as if he had made up his mind. -- The Dark Era

He can see into the future

this is honestly a cool ability with so much potential. I'm going to promote this post by @raaanpo because why not. it's cool. :)

Such a caring friend (he gave Ango the benefit of the doubt, was crushed at the betrayal, and the way he thinks about dazai i cant- TT)

I already knew what Dazai was trying to say and what his intentions were and yet I had no choice but to scrutinize his every word to find some sort of silver lining.

"Maybe Ango really was lying but he's an informant who deals with top-secret information on the Mafia. It's only natural he'd have a secret meeting or two. You can't blame him for that"

-- p.46, Dark Era (DE)

**

"Hey Dazai" [...] "Is there any possibility that someone framed Ango and is pulling the strings from behind the scenes?" -- p.61, DE

**

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ango turn his back to me before leaving with the Special Forces. [...] My tongue numb, I called out to Ango as he left, but even I didn't know what I was saying. An indescribable feeling of loneliness was the only thing filling my heart...as if I were floating at the end of the universe. Even that was swallowed by darkness. My consciousness faded to black. -- p.90, DE

**

"Dazai, stop" I begged in a hushed tone. [...]

"Dazai!" I screamed. I felt as though we were thousands of miles apart. [...]

"Sorry to shock you like that" (&lt;< dazai's the one speaking here btw) [...]

Had our ranks or relations been any different, I probably would have punched him right then. (note: this reminds me of when Fukuzawa slapped Ranpo TT) However, I am me and there was nothing I could do to him.

After returning my gun to its holster, I turned my back to Dazai and began walking away. With every step I took, I felt as if the ground were going to collapse, creating a bottomless hole that I would fall through for an eternity. Dazai's expression as he placed his finger on his forehead and approached the enemy-- that of a child about to burse into tears--remained burned into my eyes. -- chap 1, DE

^^ it's giving friend-who-knows-you're-depressed-but-waits-for-you-to-tell-them energy like 😭😭bruh Oda knew. he knew dazai was depressed but he didn't push him about it. he just listened to any of dazai's ramblings and was there for him. ugh. Oda TT

also oda and ango :")

Ango looked at us and continued, "If there ever comes a time when the Division and the Mafia no longer exist...if we're ever freed from the confines of our work...do you think we can drink here again like this?"

"Don't say any more, Ango" a voice said nearby. It was my voice. "Just don't." [...]

I figured that was probably the last time I would ever see him.

(I still maintain the belief that Oda only said this because he knew the tensions were high and Dazai literally just threatened to torture and kill Ango moments ago. That last line hurts, man.)

Insecure king

(despite being a powerful ex assassin and supporting 5 kids - my goodness does Oda have insecurity issues :") )

These are just some scenes of Oda not realizing what a king he is 😭

This was Dazai though; he was probably just talking out of his ass. A man in his twenties isn't going to be much of a balm for anyone's soul. -- p.17, DE

(help why does this sound so funny 😂)

I nodded. Dazai was always right and I was always doing the wrong thing. -- p.40, DE

"Maybe I should recruit them.." Dazai smirked while wiping his sweat. "I heard all about it, Odasaku. You're raising five kids, huh? And not only that, they're orphans from the Dragon Head's Conflict."

Even if I'd tried to hide it, Dazai would've been able to figure it out with just half a day's worth of research. -- p.56, DE

(says the guy who managed to hide the painting without anyone knowing. Ngl Dazai was kind of being a dick here TT).

Even if I took Ango's side there, nothing would change. (note: oda sweetie, you're starting to act like Dazai TT.) There was no way to break out of Dazai's trap around the bar's perimeter and the children would be killed if I betrayed the Mafia. --p.119, DE

^^ see what I'm talking about? tensions were high. it's not like Oda hated Ango. He just didn't want to escalate the situation. And plus, Oda's never been a false-hope type of guy. So when he rejected Ango's wish, it doesn't mean he hates him or doesn't want to be friends anymore. he's just protecting himself from getting his hopes up and being realistic. On another note, I think being in the Mafia def affected Oda negatively. He was much more confident in TDIPD. :(

Lost king

After getting into the car, I recklessly hightailed it to the office. I don't really remember much about what happened along the way; I might've driven down the three-lane highway in the wrong direction two or three times. -- chap 1, DE

If someone were to peer inside my mind at that moment, they would've witnessed something akin to a massive volcanic eruption. Countless question marks would have been blasting out of the crater, blanketing the sky in its entirety. And yet, the only visible reaction I had was a twitch of a finger. -- p.18, DE

I ended up standing in front of the son and introducing myself. As “the person who killed your father.” There was no word that could describe how angry the son was. He had all the rights to be angry. [...] He was hitting me, throwing stuff at me, and attacking me with all sorts of insults. I could easily dodge all of his attacks, but there was no way to avoid the insults.

When he became exhausted from all the rampage and finally sat down, I explained to him about the killing. After that, he demanded a compensation. For his father’s life, and for the rental fee of that book I took without permission. -- TDIPD

(bruh. Oda's wildin 😭 pulled up at the front door and said 'yeah I killed your father' like DJFWEIJF. If Oda became an author, he would def be openly weird like the author of chainsaw man and he'd be the type to share life lore w his fans despite it being illegal😭:

'Oda! I'm a big fan! I have a question. Did you ever kill a person? Why is your writing so good at capturing that stuff?'

I'm willing to bet good money he would actually answer that question honestly.

RBF king

I was sure I looked even grumpier than usual [...] I wasn't actually in a bad mood though. It was merely a problem of balance because my hands were full [...]. You'd need a little training to carry these with a smile. -- p.121, DE

('you'd need a little training to carry these with a smile.' << it's giving uncle vibes 😭)

Writer's block king

"Because there's only one story I want to write, and it's in here." I tapped my temple. "Unfortunately, I don't have the necessary tools or skills to bring this story to life. I feel like a lost mountaineer standing before the tallest, most sacred mountain in the world with just a single, tiny ax" -- BEAST LN

(Oda stop being so relatable...)

Was a good mentor to Akutagawa in BEAST LN (lit trained him, was okay w his antics, and was willing to go against the Mafia for him. Dazai who? Akutagawa was WAY more stable with Oda as his mentor 😭)

"How are you earning enough to take care of them?" (<< Aku asking)

"That's a secret." Oda let out a faint, almost inaudible laugh.

**

What I needed to do now, however, was worry about the new recruit, since he was a hundred times more messed up in the head than me.

**

Dazai walked over with a faint, indecipherable smile. "I've been training Atsushi for four and a half years, yet you beat him. It's hard to believe..." (uhm duh. that's cause he was trained by Oda 🙄💅who doesn't abuse his students unlike y-)

**

"Akutagawa, it was actually Oda who obtained this video," said Tanizaki who was seated. "Even with Ranpo's Super Deduction and Oda's extraordinary skill, Flawless [...], it took them three whole days to sneak into the secret facility and steal the footage. That just shows you how extremely dangerous the mission was and how hard it was to get this information."

That was when it hit Akutagawa. He had just recently been asked to watch over the orphans for three days while Oda was out of town on business.

ugH. KING behavior 😩👑

He's read the Bible

"John 12:24. You're surprisingly well read, Sakunosuke." --p.144, DE

^^ imagine if he and Fyodor had a conversation. that would be p. interesting.

was kind to the curry shop owner (ill elaborate later cause im so sleepy rn)

--- and so much more. I actually have a whole fanfic in my head of Oda TT (and that Oda is a lot different from the one in canon but is based off of him. yeah...I like Oda if u couldn't alr tell.😭)

I urge yall to please read Dark Era and The Day I Picked Up Dazai. It captures his character way more than the anime.

To end this post, I want to give tribute to the IRL! Oda Sakunosuke cause that's who the bsd character is based from and Oct 26 is his actual birthday 😸

About the Real Oda:

List of some of his works:

Thank youu 🥳

I hope this post encourages more oda love lol. he's such a king. 💅

tagging @carbonateds-oda because I need someone to share my unhinged Oda thoughts too 😭😩

(feel free to ignore btw or lmk if it bothers u. i feel like ive been too interactive lately TT)

anywy, happy birthday odasaku! 🥳🥳👑

[aceontheline]

Mass Angst (Pt 1)

C//W: Inappropriate manager behaviors, Homophobia

Massachusetts was raised like so called "normal" kids... Until he realized that maybe he wasn't quite like the others. He wouldn't spend his weekends at friends places or even outside his own room. Mass's parents would make him study for hours on end and make sure he got nothing but the best grades. But also, once he got older, Mass's parents also made him get a job to help contribute financially to his own needs. Of course, the minimum working age in his state was 14. He would still just be a Freshman in High School at that point, but his parents felt like it was necessary to teach him "the value of a dollar".

At this point, Mass is 17, about to turn 18 soon. He has made a select few friends of his, but other than that, he usually keeps to himself. Mass studies hard, works hard, and burns out even harder. He's in his Senior Year and he thought he was going to start having fun in life... That dream was squashed by his parents who held over the moon expectations for him. Mass was lucky nowadays to get the grades he has now... Mostly B average. He had a part time job at a store in the local mall. Mass's job was initially retail in a clothing store, until he noticed that his manager was only hiring women recently. The manager was over 35, but he was hiring younger women. From about 17 to 24 years old. Mass brought this up to all the girls, saying it seemed a bit odd and to maybe watch out for this behavior. The girls all agreed and kept on their guards, thanking him for the warning.

Mass only said something to H.R once he noticed that all the men were being transferred to the back of the store, more than slightly infuriated. The manager said something about: "Wanting to attract more customers", but he knew that was creepy BS. Right after work one day, he reported this behavior and others to the HR department. He requested that he remain anonymous, to which they fulfilled. However, the department only felt like they were obligated to "chew out" the manager for said behaviors. The manager, knowing he was caught, apologized firmly and stated it wouldn't happen again. He knew EXACTLY who did this though, vowing to make Mass's life Hell from this point on.

Mass's manager got him in trouble for the most trivial reasons: Clocking out for a break too early, clocking in anywhere between 3-5 minutes late, giving him ALL the heavy lifting type tasks, cutting his hours... Anything he could think of, Mass would be on the receiving end of it. Even giving him shit for wearing a Bisexual pride flag pin during an employee "Pride" event. Until he had enough. One day after work, Mass immediately stormed out and slammed the door to his car, screaming his head off. He called the HR department yet again and made the valid complaints, seeing how he wrote down dates and everything for it. HR said that this could spell legal trouble for the manager and that Mass could hand in all those records to a certain mailing address/email. Mass wrote down the email address, saying he'd type out everything and send it over. The HR department thanked him for reporting this abhorrent behavior.

Finally... Mass had snapped. He drove home and typed out his letter of resignation, as well as those reports for HR. Sent the reports out and printed the letter to slam onto his manager's desk. After calming down and finishing some homework, Mass had everything figured out for tomorrow's work day.

Mass showed up to work the next day right on time, storming into his manager's office and putting the letter on his desk. The manager, who was working on something at the moment, looked at the letter then back up at Mass.

"If you're heading out, I really only need you for one more week then. I'm bringing in a new hire anyway-"

"Fine. One week. Then you'll never see me again" Mass said in an eerily angry, but calm, tone.

Mass and his manager didn't speak much to each other after that encounter. However, the manager made his life even worse somehow than things already were. Mass had requested time off on one day because he was going to see a friend from out of state... Nope. His manager put him on the schedule from 11 am to close. 9 hours. Mass knew that this was not legal, so he wrote that down and kept that in mind.

After his work day, he left in a fit. Forget the HR department, his manager was being reported to the Police as well. Mass went to the cops with this information, only to be turned away.

Damn. Mass crossed his arms and stormed out in a huff. Mass could think of only one place he could go to: His parents. He got home and searched for his mother so that she would lend a peaceful ear to listen. He vented all these problems and everything of sorts out to her, to which she was mortified for him.

"Those poor girls... And poor you. Sounds like he's been putting ya through Hell. You need to leave there and never look back. Don't show up on your day off" his mother said.

"You know what? I won't. That may get it through his thick skull that he can't do shit without me. I'm his most valuable employee, other than the other stock associate, Mark" Mass replied, seeming calm now.

Sure enough, instead of reporting to work, Mass packed all his belongings for at least one week and told New York what happened. New York was his friend for the longest time, so he was infuriated for Mass as well. He expressed how glad he was that Mass was coming up to stay for a while, seeing how the two hadn't talked much in a while. Mass acknowledged that by restating that he had been through Hell and didn't have much room in his social battery to talk. New York forgave him and said that he had to go, but to call him once Mass was close to his place. New York was kicked out of his parent's place recently because he came out as Bisexual. His overly aggressive father didn't like that and got into a MASSIVE fight with him. New York got kicked out and surfed on friend's couches until he found a place of his own.

Mass knew how rough New York had it and felt bad for him. However, as soon as he saw his manager was calling, those bad feelings washed away with feelings of satisfaction. He let the phone go to voicemail the first time, then picked up the second time his manager called.

"Where the hell are you? You're supposed to be here from 11 to close today!?" his manager yelled.

"Forget it, Dan. I was supposed to get time off today, but you deliberately took that from me. I know 'Two Week Notice' means that you'll do anything to get me kicked before I just up and leave so... Yeah. I guess I'm fired-"

"You're damn right. Don't bother showing for your other three shifts. You're fired!" his manager yelled, hanging up on Mass.

Mass sighed in relief, going to spend time with New York instead. Once Mass arrived, he informed New York that he was going to stay for a little longer and asked if that was okay. New York affirmed that the week long stay was just fine and that he hope that Mass's parents knew. "Yup, told them when I left this morning" Mass replied.

----------------------TimeSkip: One Week Later-----------------------

Mass arrived home to see his parents sitting at the kitchen table, with a piece of paper. Mass sat down at the table, sensing this was about him. He was right...

His parents informed him that as of right now, he was only allowed to stay at his folks place until he graduated High School. Once he turned 18, he had to move out. Mass panicked, stating that he had no place to go and that 4 months was too short of a notice.

"You're a smart kid, right? I'm sure you'll figure something out. Now, you're gonna sign this agreement to stay here for 4 months... Or we'll just kick you out now" his dad stated stoically.

"This is screwed up... I'll be HOMELESS" Mass cried out.

"Should'a thought to look for places too while applying for college. You're not paying rent, so there's no point to keeping you here unless you're doing housework, which you hardly do anyway. So. 4 months or nothing" his dad said in a much more stern tone.

Mass signed the paper reluctantly and stormed up to his room. Mass made a commitment to focus on school until at least 2 months were up, then he'd ask around and see where he could stay.

Unfortunately, a lot of people turned him down. Until he got to New York, realizing that he had his OWN place and didn't still live with family. Mass called him and explained the situation in it's entirety. New York didn't hesitate.

"Of course you can some stay. I'll get you a job at my pizza place and everything. You'll be hooked up. All you'll owe me is like half the rent" New York said.

"How much is your rent?" Mass asked.

"About $900 a month. So, you'll owe me $450 at the end of every month or $225 every 2 weeks. Whichever works. I know you've got a good amount saved up from working your ass off since you were like... 14?" New York recounted.

"Yep. Surprisingly haven't spent all that much, despite my phone bills, car insurance, gas and food here and there. So I've got about $9,000 saved up. I'm close to $10k and I can taste it" Mass replied happily.

Him and New York talked for hours, while he studied for his upcoming tests. Once Mass got tired, he hung up and went to bed in a much better mood than before.

After some time had passed, the day of reckoning had arrived. Mass had to leave the nest. It was about a week after his High School graduation, and he was driving up to New York's place with all his belongings in the trunk of his car. The car was a gift to him from his grandparents, who paid his insurance bills until he transferred the title to himself.

Once he got to New York's place, he unloaded a majority of his stuff and saw that New York already had a bed for him and everything. The room was basic, but it was enough for now. A bed, bedsheets, a desk for work or other things, and a T.V. Mass thanked New York immensely and made himself a bit more comfortable. This was the start of his new life.

Mass Angst, Part 2: ( Here )

Mass Angst, Part 3: ( Here )

[celiastjamesoscar]

Hello honey!

To be completely honest, I know basically nothing about Poe... I only knew the Annabel Lee poem and the raven. Other than that I was completely lost. I want to look up all of the references that were used and then rewatch the show again with this knowledge in mind. The whole show was so aesthetically pleasing with a great horror story that has a cool deeper meaning. Plus, I just enjoyed watching the family die cause they were all terrible people. Camille has hot boss ass bitch rights though, this excuses her behavior. House of Usher is my second favorite Mike creation, after Hill House. Then Oculus and Hush. Bly is too sad and Midnight Mass too boring to be mentioned. AND YES VERNA AND MADELINE!! I GASPED WHEN THEY KISSED. Younger Madeline is so hot, I loved her in the Scream TV show. My favorite scene at the end was when Verna put the personal belongings on each of their graves. It showed again what kind of person they all were and what was most important to them. Beautiful.

Excuse me ma'am, where did you hear that?? I only heard about Jenna because she is booked and busy but even she wants to make time for Scream. I absolutely LOVE scream but not with Sam in it even more. If Melissa is not in it I will riot!

And this or next weekend, we will get a 5 month old central Asian Owtscharka puppy!! I'm so excited!!

Annabel Lee is probably my favorite poem by him. I only know so much about his work because the high school I went to had an English class that was only literature like that; and we would read Poe’s work for about a month. You should definitely look up all the references and then rewatch it!! I loved the reference to Roderick and Madeline sealing his boss up in the wall, based off of The Cask of Amontillado. They ALL were shitty people, but I did kind of like Viv. Camille automatically gets a free pass, she basically did nothing wrong compared to the others. I haven’t seen Oculus or Hush, but they are on my watchlist. Gerald’s Game is a good movie by him that I really loved, but there’s one scene that messed me up 😬 The only thing that was interesting about Midnight Mass were those angel things. THEIR KISS CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD, BUT I LOVED IT!!! Is it bad that I’ve never seen the Scream TV show? That final scene with Verna was so chilling and the impact it had was astonishing!! Roderick getting the whiskey glass was chef’s kiss

I’ve seen it over the past couple of months on Twitter about Mel not being in 7, but I highly doubt the new directors will exclude her. I mean, without Mel and Jenna, there goes half of their audience. I need to see Sam in her tank tops or else I will lose my mind!! We can riot together

When you do get the new puppy, I would love to see some pictures of them!! I googled some pictures of the breed and they are so adorable!

[purplesugarbabe]

Hello everyone! Here is the second chapter of my Horrid Henry fic! Sorry for not posting it earlier, please enjoy 💕

✨BROKEN HEARTS BOULEVARD✨

chapter 2: Poems in ink

School time is finally over. The students are gathering their stuff and put everything they won't need in their lockers.

-Phew! The weather got warm pretty early this year. Henry says sweeping the sweat from his forehead. He turns to look at Ralph who seems not to be paying much attention. He is oddly quiet today, especially for someone who loves pulling pranks and telling jokes. Are you alright, man? You keep zoning out. He asks a bit hesitantly.

-Ah yeah. I was just thinking about something. Ralph replies without looking at his childhood friend. He pretends to be organizing his locker but he is really absent-minded. After a while he finally closes the locker and grabs his bag. Are you still having the house for your own this weekend? He decides to ask as they are making their way outside.

-Yes. My parents and that annoying little brat will be staying at my aunt's place. Henry answers feeling relieved he is going to have some time for himself.

-Is Dee going to join us as well? Ralph's question makes Henry to stop short. The three of them usually spend a lot of time together, although she mostly hangs out with the latter since her house is just across the street. They first met five years ago when her family moved in England for working matters. He didn't seem to like her at the beginning. She was very quiet and rarely talked. When she would sit on the porch and Henry was outside playing, she would wave at him but never really say much more than a "hello" or a "good morning". Her behavior annoyed him, mostly because he wanted to get to know her better. One day while she was reading outside, like every Saturday morning, he grabbed some of his favorite comics and crossed the street. He approached her a bit hesitantly and placed them next to her.

-This is what you should be reading instead. It's more fun. He said proudly. He was sure she was gonna throw them away or call them boring like Margaret did.

-Thank you so much. Are you going to read with me? Her question got him off guard. She smiled politely at him changing his opinion about girls. For the first time he was feeling anxious, not because he was grounded or sent in detention, but because a girl was talking to him.

-Sure! He sat next to her as she put her book on the side in order to read what Henry gave her. The boy took a quick glance at the book. "The fox and the red dance" was written on the cover. Dee noticed him staring.

-It's a book of poems. I really like poetry. She admitted handing Henry the book. Unlike her, he didn't like poetry, not even a little. He thought it was only about stupid stuff like love and nothing more. While the young girl was trying to figure out which comic to read first, Henry examined the book. While turning the pages a poem caught his attention.

"It doesn't scare me

where this pencil

does not leave ink

but traces of melted sky

nor does it frighten me

how instead of paper

I write on your body,

warm amoeba from fragrant chamomile,

all around, everywhere.

It only scares me

where someday,

I'll write on paper again, poems in ink. "

Henry read under his breath. He had no idea what it meant but since Dee liked it, it probably had to do with stuff girls like. Girls like her.

-Ah, this is one of my favorite poems. I haven't figured out its meaning yet but the words are so beautiful! She said softly. The very first poem Henry read was because of her. The very first poem Henry read was her favorite. The very first poem Henry read was for everyone to read but for a few to understand.

-Are you coming or not? Ralph's voice brings him back to reality. The brunette boy has his eyebrow raised at him waiting for an answer.

-Y-Yeah sorry, I thought someone called me. Henry replies stuttering a bit. Finally he makes it home, he waves at Ralph before closing the door behind him as quietly as possible.

-Welcome home Henry! A pitched voice says making him sigh.

-What do you want worm? He asks bitterly. All he hopes for is his brother to "magically" disappear one day and never hear his irritating, "angelic" voice ever again.

-Henry you should talk more politely to Peter. You are not twelve anymore! His mother slightly growls furrowing her eyebrows at the young man.

-Yeah, yeah I know. Sorry or whatever worm. Henry says with a shrug before taking off he shoes and heading upstairs. He just can't take this kind of behavior from his parents anymore. Peter with his excellent manners and the high grades. Always the top student in his class. Peter who always has a smile on his face, the one who never raises his voice even when he argues. Henry grits his teeth and throws a punch at the wall, loud enough to be almost heard downstairs.

He takes a deep breath and sits on his bed. His mother is right, he is not a child. He is growing up and every year that passes she just stops caring. All that's in her eyes when she looks at him is disappointment. He looks down at his hands, the one he punched the wall with is bleeding, pretty bad. He opens his bedroom window to check if his father is outside gardening as usual and then, as quiet as a mouse, climbs down. He tip toes to the other side of the street and knocks on the door while taking a quick glance behind him to make sure no one saw him.

-Oh, hello Henry. Dee says after opening the door. She then notices the blood stains on his shirt as well as his bleeding hand. Oh my God, what happened to you?! She exclaims worryingly stepping on the side for the boy to come inside. She quickly closes the door behind her and leads Henry upstairs where the bathroom is.

-Don't worry, really, it's not important. It doesn't even hurt. He says jokingly but Dee gives him a glare.

-What did you do? She asks as she tries to find the first aid kit.

-Rock n' roll. He replies sticking his tongue out at her annoying her even more. She makes Henry to sit at the edge of the bathtub. She sits next to him and starts cleaning the blood from his hand. She prays it does not need stitches.

-Damn it Henry, why do you have to be so reckless at times? She murmurs, mostly to herself.

-I don't know. Can I ask you something as well? The girl nods waiting for his question.

-Are you in love with my best friend?

-----------------------------

The poem apparently plays an important role in this story!

What do you think is the purpose of Henry's question?

See you next weekend for the next chapter! 💖

[twelvedaysinaugust]

I’ve admittedly been busy and out of the loop for a few days but I genuinely don’t understand what people are getting pressed about from the dwd red carpet. They didn’t stand near each other, they apparently left together but also with another cast member (presumably because they’re all staying the same place or were going to a cast celebration). Harry was less drastically rude than at venice but I’d hardly call their behavior warm. I don’t know what people expected, him to trip her or something? They still have professional obligations.

And besides, they never really confirmed this relationship, they just seeded everything through pap photos and “sources” talking to publications. I expect they’ll end it the same way, now that dwd press is winding down. Harry and Olivia haven’t been seen together outside of professional obligations since I think the shia video (no pap photos, she hasn’t been at his concerts). I doubt they’ll announce a breakup before the end of opening weekend (since they’re clearly leaning heavily on Harry’s fan base for ticket sales and don’t want anything to give the impression he’s no longer happy with the project, a la Florence), but it does seem to me that things are winding down. If we get more pap pics of them “happy” together or she attends his concerts again, I’ll happily admit I misread things, but nothing I’ve seen from this made me think we had anything to stress over stunt-wise. *shrug*

I feel the same way. I think people were just caught off-guard because they thought the relationship was over (given the lack of interaction during and after Venice).

[aminiatureworld]

Insecurity II

Characters: Xiao, gn!reader

Premise: It is hard not to take the hurtful words of others to heart, even when they are strangers.

In which the reader becomes insecure about their behavior and habits.

Word Count: 2,541

Warnings: Degradation of reader (not by partner).

Author’s Note: Finally finishing this request! Agh I had such a good time with Xiao’s. It was difficult, but I think the end was really emotionally fulfilling. At least, I hope it comes out that way lol! 

Anyways sorry for the on-and-off, my weekends being blocked out has been doing a number on my writing schedule. I hope to finish up the requests asap and open them up again. And I hope that you continue to enjoy what I write!

Xiao

You didn’t understand why you felt the need to sometimes listen to the pilgrims that passed through Jueyun Karst . Perhaps it was accident, perhaps it was nosiness. Perhaps it was the knowledge that, ultimately, the adepti cared little for the prayers of humans, and would be unlikely to listen to the influx of praise and wishes. It wasn’t perhaps the most honest thing you ever did. Maybe then that was why you ended up hearing what was never meant for your own ears.

The two old ladies’ faces were filled with awed serenity as they wandered through the mountain passes, as if unaware of the dangers that surrounded them in the land of the gods. Passing by stone tablets and ruins, they never failed to offer a word or a prayer. It was touching to watch them go, even if you struggled to covertly get rid of all the slimes and treasure hoarders that otherwise would cross with them, and you couldn’t help but feel a strange sense of shared experience, a little moment that only the three of you shared.

“It’s so beautiful here, we ought to go more often.”

“Ah, but you know what they say, monsters everywhere. Besides, I can only cook so many dishes so often,” the lady jostled the basket she was carrying slightly. “All these years and you still rely on me too cook everything.”

“All these years and you don’t let me step foot in your precious kitchen,” the other woman replied teasingly. “Don’t you dare come in with dirty slippers! My slippers have never once stepped outside! And yet you complain about them being dirty.”

“It’s because you never wipe them down!”

Talk between the pair floated jovially back and forth, from discussions on the scenery to the birds, to the children in Liyue who might want to visit. It was easy to get lulled in by their conversation between whopperflower kills, and you found yourself hoping that the adepti might here even a sliver of it, the beauty of ordinary conversation.

“Ah! Do you know what I heard yesterday from that innkeeper?”

“Verr Goldet? What? She never likes revealing information to me. I think even Yanxiao is a more open mouth than her, and he barely speaks of anything except food.”

“Well he is a chef dear, you can’t expect much else; but Goldet did tell me something interesting as I was passing by to see if Yanxiao had any ingredients I needed, you know how it is sometimes when the ships come in late. One day I thought I might not even have enough flour! I really need to send a petition to the Qixing about this!

“Anyways what was I saying? Ah yes, I was walking towards the kitchen when I heard some giggling up on the roof. Now you know I was completely caught off guard, as they say Alatus is the only one who goes on the roof, and even then I suppose he spends most of his time in the mountains. I must have looked even more surprised then than you look now, for Goldet smiled at me and said: ‘Is everything alright?’

‘Well yes,’ I said, ‘only I am just wondering who is on the roof?’

‘Xiao’s partner is here’ is what Goldet said. And imagine! I was so surprised I turned right around for home without even glancing at Yanxiao! To imagine an innkeeper using Alatus’ name so freely! Then to imagine that Alatus has a partner! So I go home and I ask around, you know how our neighbor has a very open ear for these things, even if I never can remember her name. Anyways, she told me that not only is the fact that Alatus has a partner very old news, but, even worse, they’re a human!”

“That cannot be right!”

“It must be! Though I know, I was completely surprised too. It doesn’t seem proper after all, for a human to be involved with an adeptus.”

“It does seem disrespectful.”

“More than disrespectful! What does this person want to become, a god? They must be greedy to be so bold.”

“You may be right…”

“Honestly, I don’t know what Alatus would ever do such a thing, but even so, it’s his partner’s job to realize their place.”

The other woman might have said something in reply, but by then the shock had finally been overcome by shame and anger, and you had run off towards Mt. Aozang, monsters be damned. You knew it was a reckless thing to do, to leave some old women at the mercy of the Liyue land, could only hope that an adventurer might be passing by or otherwise able to help them. It was selfish, yes, but you could not think of anything in that moment besides the blood rushing through your ears, the tears that were fast welling up at the corner of your eyes.

Watching as the fish swam lazily in the pool outside Cloud Retainer’s domain you tried to make sense of the emotions jostling within you beyond the wall of hurt and shame that was clouding your mind. However any time you tried to explore what the two women had sense, convince yourself of the fact that you simply were not the evil person that they said you were, you came up empty handed. There was only the layer of hurt surrounding you.

Eventually the water became effused with golden light, as the sun followed its trajectory down below the horizon, the moon taking its place in the heaven’s. You knew that you had to go soon, that it was time to go meet Xiao as you usually would. Yet no matter how much you tried to convince yourself to get up your legs remained firmly fixed to the ground, your eyes following the patterns of the ripples across the water. You did not want to go see Xiao, you did not want to go anywhere really. Nothing at the moment seemed more enticing than retreating to an abode the way the adepti did, barring your door towards anyone who would enter, locking yourself away from the outside.

How could you face your partner? Now that the idea had been placed into your mind you couldn’t help but feel dirty, as if you had unknowingly committed some great wrong. You loved Xiao, how could there be anything wrong with that? Yet if two old women thought so low of you, who knew how many else did. Perhaps you were just being humored, humored by adepti and humans who turned around and shook their heads at your behavior. Perhaps Xiao even found you too familiar at times.

By the time you managed to convince yourself to stand up and go anywhere the sun had long ago disappeared. You weren’t quite sure how you made your way home, by some luck or vigilant being you managed to avoid any monsters or hoarders. The moment you reached your apartment you flopped onto the couch, not bothering to make it to your bedroom before falling into a deep, mercifully peaceful sleep.

The next day was spent in a haze, the day after that much the same. Every effort to shake yourself from your reverie was met with a wave of dejection and anxiety, and soon enough you stopped even trying to fight the insecurities that had come roiling up from within the dark recesses of your mind. Seeing Xiao was so much of an impossibility that you didn’t even bother thinking about it. You were too stuck in your own head after all.

Before you knew it two weeks had passed, and you had done little except wake up, go to work, come home, and sleep. You knew that if you kept going like this your fears would only get worse, but at this point, well, who cared? Certainly you couldn’t bring yourself too. After all, didn’t everyone think you were a grasper who had gone far above their station? What did it matter if you became a hermit? At least everyone would likely forget about you.

You jolted awake, your brain registering the noise in a sleep filled haze before your reflexes sprung into place. For a moment you peered at the figure in the doorframe, the light from the hallway at odds with the darkness of your bedroom. You had no sense of time, or space. Yet someone was here, and though you weren’t quite sure of your surroundings yet, you knew that this person was not supposed to be there.

“Who…” you trailed off as your brain finally roused itself from your slumber, and everything crashed back into you. “Xiao?”

Xiao’s expression, which was slowly becoming easier to read, was that of a deep scowl. “Who else would it be?” He asked, crossing his arms.

“I don’t know, I was just, why, why are you here?” You replied, voice creaky from sleep.

“Why do you think?” Xiao’s tone was curt, full of frustration, though from what you couldn’t seem to grasp. “I should be asking why you’re here. Where have you been?”

“I’ve been nowhere.”

“Then why have I not seen you for two weeks. Is there something I did?”

“No!”

“Then why are you avoiding me.”

“I’m not avoiding you.”

Xiao didn’t bother to reply to your protest, merely raising an eyebrow as his scowl deepened. You realized then how ridiculous such a protest must have sounded to him. After all, you saw him nearly every day when you weren’t off adventuring, unless Xiao was struggling more than usual with his duties. You knew that this would require some sort of explanation, even if your mind balked at such a thing.

As if sensing your reticence Xiao slowly walked over to the bed, slowly enough, you realized, that it might give you time to ask him to stop. The idea was somewhat heartbreaking, as you began to imagine what Xiao might have been feeling these past two weeks. For, as much as you doubted what everyone else thought about you, you never doubted the love that Xiao might hold for you. It was your guiding star, and you could not let go of it.

Slowly Xiao situated himself on your bed, taking little time to settle before reverting to his unnatural stillness, as he became so statuesque that it seemed as though he was barely breathing. His hand was stretched out a little ways away from him, and you took the invitation to intertwine your fingers in his, grateful for the small bit of contact. For a moment the emotions of missing Xiao rose up inside you, overwhelming you, and you couldn’t find the breath to speak. However soon enough the urgency to explain overrode the need for physical contact, and you slowly began to explain.

Xiao said nothing as you recounted what had happened in the mountains of Jueyun Karst, his expression as stony and unreadable as ever, though you could pick out the occasional twitch in his brow that conveyed his displeasure. The gestures warmed you, even if you thought that you were not worth it. After all, no one else seemed to think so.

“Anyways, that’s what happened,” you finally finished, letting out a small sigh. Letting your gaze flick up to Xiao’s eyes you moved to say sorry, however your words died on your lips as your mouth began trembling a bit. What could you say that wouldn’t change what was gnawing away at you.

Xiao sat in his characteristic silence, only the sudden pressure on your hand now enveloped in his letting his emotions slip through. Eventually, however, he seemed to find some manner of words.

“How could you believe those fools?” The words were harsh, yet felt as if they weren’t pointed towards you, as if instead he was battling an invisible enemy, one fixed between the palm of your hands. “Do you really think so low of yourself?”

“Well, I, I don’t know. I don’t think so. But then I just remember what they said and ah,,,” you fell silent once more. “I don’t know if I could stand knowing that there are people who think that I don’t love you. Or, worse, that even if I do our love is doomed. Because I hear it and I think, what if they’re right? What if… what if I have somehow cursed you, have uprooted divine order. What if I must meet divine punishment, what if something happens to you? What, I, I don’t know!”

The sob that had so long buried itself deep within the recesses of your emotions finally surfaced, as you began to heave and shudder. Immediately Xiao opened his arms, clinging to you as you dove into his embrace and sobbed wetly into his shoulder. You felt somewhat ashamed by the scene you were making, for surely you were being too dramatic. Still the tears continued to flow, and still Xiao continued to hold you.

When you at last began to calm down, though your breath still hitched haphazardly, Xiao began to speak one more, his low, gruff tones making you want to lean against him and be lulled to sleep.

“As if you could be any more cursed than I’ve already been. I’m not a pure being that needs to be protected from corruption. If there’s anyone who should worry about upsetting the way of things it should be me for putting you in danger.”

“You know how I feel about that,” you murmured into his sleeve.

“I do.” You could almost hear the smile in Xiao’s voice. “I feel the same way about you.”

“But…” your voice died in your throat. Sighing, you buried you inhaled slightly, Xiao’s smell suffusing your senses, blocking out the voices warring inside you.

“I feel the same way about you. You were the one who helped me stop seeing myself as a monster, I won’t let you feel like you’re crossing a divine boundary. Anyone who says that is wrong. I won’t let them corrupt your thinking.”

“Thank you,” you whispered, unsure of what else you might say.

Something in your tone must’ve reassured your lover, for Xiao let out a soft sigh before relaxing his embrace slightly. You relaxed too, your breathing evening out to matching your partner’s.

Eventually the two of you must’ve fallen asleep for when you woke sunlight filtered softly through the curtains. Your gaze focused on Xiao, who was staring at you with an intensity that might be intimidating if you didn’t know it so well.

“Good morning,” he murmured.

“Good morning,” you replied, suppressing a yawn.

“Do you feel better?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Don’t do that again, please.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.”

Xiao wrapped an arm around the small of your back, gathering you into his embrace before nestling his head against your shoulder. It was so very rare that the adeptus slept in, indeed if he slept at all. The thought filled you with warmth, as you fought your fatigue to watch him slowly drift off to sleep. Eventually however the urge was to strong as you drifted off to join your lover in sleep. The last coherent thought you had was how much you loved him.

[hpimaginesandblurbs]

i don't know if you getting requests but can you write something like the reader (a slytherin if it makes a difference but don't really matter) gets jealous about Draco with Pansy and give him the silent treatment, at some point he lose his patience and fuck the brattyness out of her

pairing: draco malfoy x reader 

warning(s): 18+, dom!draco, orgasm control/denial, edging, choking, degradation

word count: 1.7k

a/n: as a self proclaimed brat, this will be my fantasy of the week. this one goes out to all my bratty draco lovers - enjoy!

“What the fuck is your issue Y/N?” Draco asked, storming into your room. 

The day had been a never ending saga of you giving Draco the silent treatment and him growing increasingly more frustrated with you. But really, it wasn’t your fault. It was his own. 

It started last night at the party. Draco, your fucking boyfriend, decided it would be a wise choice to spend his night hanging out with Pansy instead of you. Sure, you were having a good time with Theo and Daphne, but he was more than welcome to join. What he wasn’t welcome to do was schmooze with his ex-girlfriend where everyone could see. 

And then it continued at breakfast. And although he took his normal spot at the table beside you, he kept whispering in hushed tones with Pansy all throughout. 

So you decided to give him the silent treatment all day, much to your friends dismay. 

But now here he was, in your room, boiling with anger, and he expecting you to talk. 

Not going to happen. 

You simply looked back down at the book you had been flipping through to kill time, not even sparing him a second glance. 

“What the fuck am I missing? Because the last time I checked I didn’t do anything to warrant you acting like a fucking brat,” he said, walking quickly through your room to stop at the end of your bed, leaning against the footrest. 

You only looked up at him and raised a brow, internally applauding yourself when you saw how utterly confused he looked.

“I’ll give you one last chance before I take matters into my own hands, and you’re not going to like that. So. What. Is. The. Issue?” He asked slowly, emphasizing every word. 

You had to give it to him. If it had been anyone but you, his little display would have been intimidating. If it had been anyone but you, they would have spilled all of their secrets right then. But you saw right through the act. And honestly, you were quite intrigued by what he meant by ‘taking matters into his own hands.’ 

So once again, you said nothing, just turned back to your book and ignored him. 

You weren’t even sure how he got over to you so quickly and silently, but the next thing you knew the book was getting thrown across the room and you were getting flipped onto your stomach, your legs dangling off the side of the bed. 

“I gave you so many chances today, Y/N,” he said, a faux sympathy in his voice that was dangerous and arousing all at once. “But if you’re going to be a brat, you’ll get fucked like one.” 

With that, his hands were ripping your pants and underwear down your legs in one go just before you heard the noise of his belt coming off. You were growing wetter by the second, completely caught off guard by his behavior, a fact he was all too aware of due to the fact that you were displayed in front of him. 

“And you’re already fucking soaked,” he commented, a finger coming up to run through your slit. “A bratty little whore. Is this what you wanted? Wanted to get punished like a little slut?” He asked, but you both knew he wasn’t getting a response. 

His finger left only to be replaced by the tip of his cock, which shocked you at first. Normally, no matter what mood he was in, he’d make sure you were stretched enough to take him painlessly. Clearly, that care had flown out the window today. He did say you were going to get fucked like a brat after all. 

You did your best to relax your body as he pushed inside of you, his cock filling and stretching you more than it ever had before. But your efforts were futile, a whine coming from your throat as he continued to fuck into you without letting you adjust. 

“Aww, does it hurt?” He asked, mockingly. “Maybe you should have thought about that before acting like a dumb fucking brat all day.” 

He fucked you harshly, not holding back a single bit. You did your best to stay quiet just to toy with him some more, but his efforts didn’t go unappreciated. A few moans had slipped through, only egging him on. But the moment he pounded against your g-spot, you completely lost it. 

“Draco, please,” you gasped, needing him to do that a million more times and then some. 

“So she fucking speaks,” he said harshly, coming down to drape his chest along your back, his face aligned with yours. His thrusts never faltered as one hand left your hip and creeped around your neck, pressing down just enough to make you dizzy. “You love getting fucked like this, don’t you? Love when I treat you like a fucking whore?” 

“Yes,” you hissed out, trying to control your breathing even as he fucked all the air out of your body. 

“Well that’s lovely because you’re not cumming until you tell me what the fuck is wrong,” he told you, not even out of breath. 

Your heart jolted at his words, not wanting to give up the act yet. But you desperately wanted to cum. He was pushing you closer and closer with every thrust, so you knew you’d have to make a choice soon. 

“I don’t want to tell you,” you argued, but even you knew it sounded pathetic at this point. 

You heard him scoff behind you, but your words only made his double down, practically forcing you to the brink of an orgasm. 

“That’s not going to work. Tell me,” he said, his grip tightening threateningly on your neck. 

When you didn’t even make a sound, he completely stopped moving inside of you, planning on waiting you out until you calmed down. You let out a whine and tried to fuck yourself back onto him, but his hand on your hip immediately forced you back down on to the bed, your plan now useless. 

And you knew you were fucked now. He was in full control of your entire body and the entire situation, leaving you no other option but to tell him. 

“There’s such an easy fix to this, Y/N. You tell me why you’ve been acting like this all day and you get to cum. Don’t think I won’t leave you aching,” he told you, his hips beginning to roll into yours again slowly. 

“You’re a dick,” you bit out, enraged that he had you trapped. But you couldn’t deny his plan was utterly fucking genuis. The man knew what he was doing. 

“And you’re a brat. I wouldn’t have to be like this with you otherwise.” 

That only made you roll your eyes, but it didn’t stop the moan from leaving your lips as the tip of his cock moved directly over your g-spot over and over again, bringing you right back to the brink. 

“Tell me,” he demanded, squeezing your throat before loosening up, the raspiness in his voice letting you know he was close to his own orgasm. Not that that would stop him from torturing you. He’d edge himself for hours if it meant getting what he wanted out of you. 

So you gave in. 

“You were flirting with Pansy all last night and this morning,” you gasped out in one breath, hoping he knew you were being truthful. 

“We’ll talk about that later,” he said, giving up the mean dom act and staying true to his promise of letting you cum. 

The hand that had been on your hip snuck in between your body and the bed, going directly for your clit. The second his hand was on you, you let out a loud moan and felt your walls constrict around his cock. He barely had to move his finger until you were cumming around him with a scream, him following you right over the edge. 

You both laid breathless for a moment, his body still draped over yours, as you both silently came back to reality. He rearranged you easily until you were lying back on the pillows before coming down to lay beside you, facing you on his side. 

“Is that really what all that was about today? You were jealous of Pansy?” He asked, his voice soft now, as he brushed some hair out of your face. 

“Yeah,” you said, too tired to defend yourself. 

“Darling, you do realize how ridiculous that is, right? One - you shouldn’t be jealous of anyone. You’re it for me. And two - there was nothing to even be jealous about,” he told you reassuringly, making you feel a bit better but you still had a bone to pick. 

“What do you mean there was nothing to be jealous about? You were with her practically all of last night and this morning at breakfast the two of you were whispering and I was right there,” you said, growing more defensive the longer this conversation went on. 

He sighed but looked at you carefully, deciding if he wanted to say what he had to say. He must have seen something because finally, he opened his mouth to explain himself. 

“It was meant to be a surprise, but she was helping me plan something for you. Her father knows a guy who owns a hotel in London and I was thinking about getting us out of here for a weekend,” he explained and suddenly you felt so foolish for the whole thing. 

“Oh,” was all you had to say, no longer willing to make eye contact with him. 

“See how easy this could have been fixed if you just told me what was wrong when I first asked?” He asked, and you could hear the smirk in his voice before you even looked up to see it. 

“I guess,” you agreed with a shrug, not warning to admit total defeat. 

“But no, my girl had to go and act like a brat just to drive me fucking crazy,” he said with a chuckle, pulling you into his chest with ease. 

“It’s fun being a brat sometimes. I got great sex out of it,” you finally said, your eyes twinkling with mischief when you looked back up at him. 

“What am I going to do with you?” He asked, rolling his eyes, before connecting his lips to yours. 

Little did he know, you had a lot of suggestions for what he could do with you next time.

[alluringjae]

all i do is wait - kdy

All I Do Is Wait | So Close

⤑ summary: one day, kim doyoung was alive. the next, he wasn’t. he left you and the world too soon, but he made a promise: to look out and wait for you until the very end.

⤑ pairing: doyoung x female reader

⤑ word count: 22.7k

⤑ genre: angst (so much longing), major slow burn, fluff (if you squint really well), slight unprotected smut (not my forté) | ghost!doyoung, hotel del luna!au,  slight college!au, 40s to 90s!au (loads of flashbacks)

⤑ warnings: death, grief, explicit language, sexism (screw the patriarchy omfg), mentions and scenes of alcohol, drinking, smoking, war, unplanned pregnancy, childbirth, and abortion, ghost possession of humans (in like one scene only tbh)

⤑ playlist: fly away with me by nct 127 | all about you by taeyeon | doll by baekhyun and doyoung | give you my heart by iu | wait by exo | like a fool by nive and sam kim | falling by harry styles | lovers by anna of the north | fallingforyou by the 1975 | you are the sunshine of my life by stevie wonder

⤑ long author’s note: minors, beware of the warnings! i highly recommend you watch the kdrama beforehand so you would understand the universe, even if majority of the characters are from my imagination. i also did some prior historical research. though there are inaccuracies, this story is just fiction. importantly, i don’t own the hotel del luna series; they serve as the main inspiration but with some of my twists. i’m also bit rough with writing lately, so there’s also room for improvement. overall, prepare your heart.

i cried so much in the process.

italicized texts symbolize conversations in a dream call. *wink* *wink*

⤑ gif above not mine, ctto!  leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

After all decades of waiting, it’s finally time.

As a soul still wandering in the living world, Doyoung’s options were limited. To peacefully go ahead into the afterlife or wait for his lover by working in the hotel for ghosts until she passed.

He’d chosen the latter, the betrayal he felt from the deities to have gone so soon.

And leave you behind.

But first, let’s take a trip down Doyoung’s journey; life, death, and after it.

1948

Kim Doyoung came from a well-off family. He was a university student, taking up journalism as a pre-law course. He wanted to right the wrongs and let justice prevail. Blessed by his privilege, he wanted to be of service to others who cannot afford it.

Both of you crossed paths at a university in Busan as seatmates. Right after the South Korean constitution granted women’s rights to education, immediately you aimed high and applied for the top universities in the city. After being homeschooled and self-studying under the books, the opportunity to go to an actual school was like a dream come true especially when you received acceptance letters from all of them.

Your first impression of him was that he was moody and quite snobby. When you politely asked him once if you can take a peek at his notes because you lost track of the professor’s lecture, he refused with an annoyed glare.

“You should try harder then.” You nodded in gratitude anyways, taking those words to encourage you. Though it still stung.

When classes that day concluded, you were so ready to return to the women’s dorm and take a breather from men. Since you were far from your village, maybe you would give a call to your father, your mentor all your life to seek his guidance on your professors’ lessons. Once you found your bike and placing your books on the basket in front, a light tap on your shoulder caught you off-guard and almost made you topple over.

“Oh, sh-”

“Oh my, I’m sorry for scaring you like that.”

When you directed your body to the source, it was none other than Kim Doyoung. He removed his blazer from class, resting it on his arm. He wore these suspenders and leather loafers, sporting the rich, preppy boy look. His eyes looked softer, apologetic by the way he gave a slight pout.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. It was rude of me to shun you like that.”

Unfortunately, it was rare to find young men like him to own up to their mistakes When you’re the only woman in that class, the majority of the boys are either snickering with judgment at your presence.

“Women are only meant to stay at home.”

“She’s weak. She won’t last here with the deep, legal terminologies the professors use.” Those insults aren’t new to you.

Doyoung seemed like a plot twist in the social narrative. You were surprised, to say the least, yet relieved.

“Oh, it’s okay. Considering I interrupted you from listening to the professor, I could’ve waited after class or as you said, study harder.” You accepted.

Doyoung still felt awful for his attitude, fiddling his briefcase. He struggled to express himself through words, understanding why many had this impression of him being cold. If he were to be honest, his actual initial impression of you was that you were hardworking and resilient, setting a new example of the modern woman. He thought that being too soft on you in class may look degrading, thus his statement from the class was just him treating you the same way as other boys who don’t study hard enough. Unfortunately, it backfired completely.

As a man who grew up with the belief to always pay respect to everyone without discrimination, he had to make it up to you somehow.

“It’s still wrong of me to say that to you, (Y/N). So-” He trailed on, opening his case to bring out one of his notebooks. Without hesitating, he handed it to you. “I took as many notes from the lecture on fallacies here. If there’s any way I can help you in the future, I’m more than willing to help you.”

This newfound kindness from a boy in this patriarchal university may be the silver lining in your current stay. You weren’t too sure if you would get a chance like this in the coming years, so you gladly took it. Noticing the engraved “K.DY” on the lower right side of it, which were his initials, it’s easy to identify that he was rich. But his attitude was different than the others.

Placing it carefully in the front basket, you steadied your body to the handles and pedals of the bike. “Thank you for this, Doyoung. I will return it to you as soon as possible.”

Knowing he was of help to you, he flashed a gummy smile. “No problem, (Y/N). If you want, we can review it before class too just in case the professor gives another surprise quiz.”

You let out a laugh, being reminded of your horrified face on a previous surprise quiz in the past. “Oh god, I flunked that quiz! Damn him.”

Ever since that conversation, it’s where your friendship started.

Going to university became more enjoyable and less daunting, having Doyoung defend you from other boys (even if you’ve told him so many times that you can handle it). After you found out that Doyoung’s status was more elite than you assumed, a lot of boys wouldn’t want to try and test him since their family lines would be at risk. You had a better focus on your academics, and if it weren’t for you, other girls attending university with you would’ve never thought women students would befriend the men. You were the shift in the narrative.

As lucky as you are to have a female support system in the patriarchal university, you found yourself always hanging out with Doyoung. He was filled with so much compassion in his heart and there were beliefs that you both surprisingly shared in your conservative society, deepening your bond. One of them was the sexist view of women as low-status people. He told you one time that thinking that way is like thinking his loving mother is undeserving of things in life. It’s an unacceptable concept, he added. You even met his mother at some point, and she’s a sweetheart.

Another was having the frustration towards those who shame on women who want to study and learn rather than to submit to the power of men so early in their lives.

“I’m so sick of people telling me to stop studying and settle down with some random boy. There’s just so much to learn out here!” You complained. It was one hot weekend that time, and you were both relaxing under the shade of a big tree by a flowing river. That spot is hidden, thus claiming it as your spot. Doyoung leaned by the tree reading while you rested on his lap. At this point, you’ve grown very comfortable with him. Doyoung sighed, putting his book to discuss his thoughts.

“Agreed. You seriously deserve so much better, (Y/N). People today just don’t get it.”

Huffing away that stress, your head tilted to get a better view of Doyoung.

“Doyoung, do you think things will get better for women in the future?” He admired your hopefulness in times of trouble. Stroking your hair to soothe you, he gave a positive reply.

“If we keep fighting for it, then we’ll progress. So let’s not give up, okay?” Your heart couldn’t help but leap.

As he looked at you with blooming flowers from the tree in the background, it was a matter of time where your initial feelings for him diverted into something more. The concept of butterflies in your stomach was only introduced to Doyoung in novels, but he wondered if it’s the exact feeling he was getting from you. From your intelligence to your sharp tongue to fight back the rude boys, the list goes on all the traits that he liked about you.

Weeks later, the questionable status of your friendship changed after he unexpectedly kissed you for the first time while stargazing at your special spot. It caught you off guard at first as your lips froze, him pulling away immediately. He rubbed the nape of his neck out of embarrassment, struggling to maintain eye contact with you.

“Oh shit. I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I screwed up everything, didn’t I?”

As much as the heat in your cheeks increased, you couldn’t deny that you liked it. You’re bold enough to do it again.

“Nope,” you shook your head at him. “Kiss me again, Doyoung.”

Like a movie, the first snow of the season drizzled down on the two of you.

Feeling braver, he leaned forward again to meet your lips again. You may not be experienced physically since it was your first, but that’s what all those romance novels you’ve browsed through are for. Forget the fireworks, people would compare the ideal kiss. It was more like everything paused so this moment can run on its momentum. Lips still locked, Doyoung gripped your waist so you can sit on his lap. As the friction intensified, his lungs needed to breathe for a second. Pulling away slowly, it was an opportunity to take a good look at you. Flustered, messy hair, swollen lips, he would’ve never known that the feelings were mutual.

“First kiss under the first snow? I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

1950

Dating Doyoung gave you the best two years of your life. He’d bike with you to your spot, recommend you new books to read, cook for you when you’re too lazy to at the dorm, and take you around the city he was ever so familiar with.

“Oh c’mon, let’s try this out!”

You dragged his arm to this new contraption that can take your photos in a flash. This was at an annual city fair, your first time to attend one. Because your small village couldn’t cater to these kinds of events, you beamed with excitement with all the amusement outlets such as rides, games and more. All Doyoung wanted was to eat and play few games, then return. He wasn’t much for photos, but because it was your first, he decided to go for it. Two people couldn’t fit the cushion, so you settled on his lap. One arm wrapped behind his neck, you inserted a few coins to activate the machine.

“So we have a few seconds before it starts, so you better smile, okay?” He ordered you based on the instructions of the machine.

The first shot was matching grins, the second showed your bright smiles, the third let your creativity wild with silly expressions, and the last was him pecking your cheek unexpectedly. The authentic surprise was captured.

“Let’s take another one so you can have a copy.” You insisted, searching through the small pockets of your purse for more coins.

“(Y/N), it’s okay. I don’t want-” He was cut off by the machine activating again as your coins entered inside.

“Too late, smile!” The first shot almost caught Doyoung in a frenzy, but he pulled it off with an open smile. The second expressed your laughter from your slyness, him sporting crinkled eyes when you let your tongue out and placed your hands near the temples of your head to mock him. To sort out your playfulness, Doyoung surprised you by grabbing your wrists to place them back on his shoulders. Without a breath, one free hand tugged you closer and his lips shut you up. You deepened your kiss by leaning forward and fisting the hems of his buttoned-up top. Kissing back was natural, not caring where you were and if the camera snapped your moment of intimacy. Doyoung always liked taming you with his kisses. You didn’t mind making out for a bit in the booth if it weren’t for the loud knocking from the side put a stop to your risqué antics.

“Yah! Take your making out session someplace, other people are waiting outside!”

The both of you could care less, laughing mid-kissing at the disturbance you’ve caused. It’s a thing when you’re young and in love, perhaps. Eventually, innocent kisses ignited an invitation to his bed.

“I’ve never done this before, but I want to do it with you.” You gave your full consent, laying on his soft bed in your undergarments. His entire family went on vacation, so you took advantage of it.

The way he crawled on top of you, his slender hands spreading your legs wide open like another novel waiting to be unraveled. Erotica was a genre you never explored, but Doyoung finds it as his guilty pleasure. Who would’ve known that the most prestigious, gentleman-like man of the university found amusement in sex? His lingering touches intoxicated your entirety, allowing him access. His tongue did you wonders, releasing these sensations you’ve never known was possible. Tugging on his hair as he passionately devoured your core for the first time, this knot in your core unwound and your vision went white for a split second. This rush of pleasure and exhaustion filled your veins, yet you craved more.

That night, giving each other your virginities, marked the first time you declared your love for each other.

Though there are times when dating wasn’t easy either, having prying eyes around you with judgment and the unavoidable stress from university, you’d sort things out in the end. After all, it’s in fights and arguments where you learn more about each other and grow from it.

If someone asked you to settle down already, Doyoung is the first candidate for your hand. You’ve sent letters to your parents talking about him and met his family.

“You’re the only girl who softens him up in this society of uptight men.” His mother whispered when you helped her wash the dishes after dinner.

As much light he brought to your life those two years being together, it turned into the worst and something questionable when the Korean war began.

You vividly remember the day Doyoung admitted to you his enlistment in the South Korean army. It was mandatory for men his age to serve. His dream to pursue law was to be put on hold, especially when schools were closing down. Though he’d try to confide with himself that serving in this war is another way to help his country, his nationalism outweighed his fear of death. Just as long as it brings them closer to a better tomorrow, he was willing.

Unfortunately for you, you were terrified shitless because again, it’s a war. If your childhood wasn’t enough to recall all those painful emotions from the past world war, you didn’t know what would. Being able to survive is a miracle, so there was no way you would let Doyoung go. The ignorance you gave towards him to protect your heart, moving to your aunt and uncle’s home in the same city after the university suspended classes since going back to the village was a big struggle.

So many villages have been bombed already, increasing your anxiety. All you hoped now was to be reunited with your family safely. It’s a good thing though they already left as soon as they could and are on their way to the city. One normal day while you were teaching your younger cousins how to read, there was a knock on the front door. Since your aunt was busy cooking dinner, you took charge to open it in hopes you’ll find your family on the other side.

However, it was none other than that someone you still couldn’t face just yet. He wore the familiar dark green uniform with black combat boots, his fluffy hair fully shaved even it’s covered by his hat. By the dirt on his face, he must’ve trained earlier that day. With a heavy backpack behind him, he’s on his way somewhere but you didn’t know where. You closed the door behind you so you can speak to him privately.

“What are you doing here, Doyoung? How did you find me?”

“I knew you didn’t want to talk for a while, so I gave you space. But today, I found out that I’m going to be stationed in Seoul tomorrow.”

Seoul was where most of the war was happening. Your heart was shattered.

“So I went to your dorm, but your roommate told me you moved out and gave me this address here.” He answered honestly with this new burden to top it off, not having the courage to look you in the eyes to avoid crying. “I needed to see you, (Y/N).”

“Doyoung,” within those times of separation, you re-evaluated if running away from him was the right choice. Even if he tried to convince you of the good things about being in the army, everything always comes at a price. War meant his life was uncertain daily. You just wanted him to yourself, to stay by your side, to help out in the war in other ways, but it would be selfish to stop him from his goals. So you gently embraced him, making him drop his bag to the side. With extreme fear comes your soft whimpers against his chest. Rather than running away so fast, you should’ve mustered all those remaining bits of courage to spend it with him. He must be feeling terrified too.

“I’m just scared for you. War doesn’t guarantee anything. Us surviving world war two is still miraculous.” Doyoung winced at your truthful words as he returned that embrace. There go his tears that he shed almost every night since he told you about his enlistment.

“I had no choice, (Y/N). My family and I would be in big trouble if I didn’t follow orders.”

“I know. I’m sorry I ran away, Doyoung.” You continued to sob as you feel him stroke your hair from behind. He knew well that it was one way to calm you down.

“If only we didn’t live in harsh times like this.” He sighed, longing for the same thing. He cursed whoever decided to make him exist during a painful time. He would trade anything for a more peaceful life.

“Stay here for the night, please.” You pleaded, not wanting to waste any more time.

Your relatives were aware of your relationship, allowing such a request. They trusted you enough to sleep in the same room, knowing all too well the struggles of being love during times like this.

Neither of you held back from the tension that crept into the room. This time, you led him through the first kiss while his body laid flat on the cushion bed. On top, straddling him fully. Leaving him soft kisses on his neck while teasingly unbuttoning his pajama shirt, your fervent lips trailed from his neck, lowering to his sculpted abdomen, until you reached the waistband of his pajama pants.

Only in books did you learn about how to please men, so this may be the only time you can test it out. Doyoung stiffened on your soft kisses on his hard-clothed member, glancing him seductively back and forth when you stuck out your tongue.

“Please,” He begged, tugging on your hair. “Touch me.”

Your lips wrapped around his tip before gently going lower to your limit, and slowly sucked on it back and forth. Whenever you’d want to catch a breathe, you’d lick the tip teasingly. Doyoung groaned, threading his fingers along with your hair. He’s so used to be a giver that receiving these sensations by you beats his hand. It was heavenly, yet so vulgar. The way you swallowed his cum rather than spitting it out even if the taste wasn’t favorable, you were too much in a daze to process how sudden he switched positions. While you sprawled devilishly under him, your fingers looping on his dog tag necklace to bring him lower for a kiss while feeling two of his fingers go under your panties to teasingly play with your slick.

“Don’t t-tease...” You stuttered, clenching at how fast he can get you stimulated with his fingers.

The whole night long was consumed with his body against yours, the wet sounds of deep thrusts and muffled moans praising each other. The following morning, your naked bodies remained entangled. He was still in deep slumber when your body clock alarms you to wake up. though you couldn’t move when he had his arm around you. The love marks on his chest that you’ve made were more exposed when the sunlight hits him, your fingers carefully trailing on it so he wouldn’t be startled. He needed all the rest he can get.

If only you can have mornings like this when war wasn’t in the equation.

Bidding goodbye was tough. Breakfast was too quiet, just like how he packed his remaining belongings and dressed back to his uniform. You watched him by the patio as he waited for the bus to pick him up. When one finally arrived, he turned around to face you once more. He understood that neither of you wanted to say anything. It would make things harder.

You had to stay strong for him because he was fighting the scarier people. But as he waved goodbye, this was your only exception. Just before he boarded the bus,

“Fuck it.” You mumbled to yourself, running to him as your life depended on it.

“(Y/N), what are you-” Doyoung stopped at his tracks, awaiting your sudden move. You shut him up by desperately placing your lips against his, having that a tiny sliver of hope that it won’t be your last. His hands cradled your face while your arms tangled behind his neck.

It wasn’t until the annoyed coughs from the bus driver stopped your actions. Patting your dress from crinkling, Doyoung left a kiss on your forehead.

“Wait for me, alright? I’ll be back before you know it.” He reassured you.

“Fight strong and stay alive, Doyoung. I’ll always be here for you.”

“I love you, (Y/N).” He caressed your cheek one last time, your hand cupping it.

“I love you too, Doyoung.”

Both of you made sure to write to each other, just anything to keep in touch from being apart.

Oh, if only you knew how long you’d have to wait before seeing each other again.

1951

Doyoung was stationed in the infantry division, always staying prepared for the plans his side made and the active attacks started from the enemy side. He’s lost count of the number of times he’s gotten critically injured and knocked out, but he fought through it with his upcoming plans in mind. How he must fight for the country and stay alive to see the change. How he wanted to have a future with you when everything settles down. It was his motivation every time.

But it took one surprise attack many months later from the enemy side to take it all away. When one of the senior officers was shot, he shielded him without hesitation. All these firing bullets were shot on his back, his legs wobbling from the impact. Due to the non-stop bleeding and lack of urgent medical attention, he painfully lost his life while holding on to his officer.

“Please tell my lover that I love her and I’m sorry.”

Those were his last words before he took one final breath and flatlined.

Seconds later, his soul flowed outside his body and froze at the trippy feeling while witnessing different officers and people on the medic team mourn in front of his dead body. Taeyong, one of the people he befriended from the medic team, tried to wake him repeatedly.

“Doyoung, please don’t joke around. Wake up, please.”

Even if he knew it was hopeless, he did his best to the point his entire team had to pull him away from his best friend’s lifeless body.

“No, he needs to live! He has a family, big dreams, and a girl waiting back in Busan!” He sobbed in his chest. Out of all the people he tried to resuscitate, Doyoung was the first friend that he came across on this occasion. Doyoung ached at this vulnerable sight, wanting so badly to be by his side. With these surprise attacks, death is more prevalent than ever.

“Kim Doyoung?” An unfamiliar voice called for him from behind. He spun around to find one woman in war uniform, though he’s never encountered her in the field, and a man in all black.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Manwol, and he’s the grim reaper. I believe you just died a few minutes ago, correct?”

The truth was piercing to accept, glancing at his lifeless body on the side with Taeyong and another close friend he made, Jungwoo, crying his heart out.

“Are you going to take me already?” He asked.

“Unless you still have things you want to accomplish in the living world, then you can freely go to the other side.” The grim reaper answered monotonously, very much used to this question.

“From the looks of it, you have a lot you want to do still,” Manwol observed from afar, all too familiar with the feeling. “If you come with us, I can help you accomplish them.”

If something stayed with Doyoung until his last breath, it was his skepticism with the supernatural. He was unsure if he can trust them because according to the books, once you’re dead, that’s it. It’s up to the people around him to speak good or bad of him.

“You’re uncertain with our intentions, aren’t you?” Manwol easily read through his stoic expression. “You’ll be surprised with how many things can debunk from the books if you let us, Doyoung.”

For the first time, Doyoung had no clue what and where to go next. No one wrote a book on how to act like a cold, wandering soul. His dreams were limited, meaning he has to find new ones or tweak them a lot to make it possible. Despite her reserved nature, he figured that Manwol looked like someone who knows what she’s talking about. With the grim reaper he’s read in children’s books, he wasn’t as frightening as he was portrayed.

This was his last shot.

“Guide me, please.”

The car ride alone there was messy and bumpy since it was peak war season. He wasn’t the only person who lost their life that night and riding in the vehicle. He recognized a few of them. It was saddening to find the playful Donghyuck, his youngest companion, beside him.

“I sacrificed myself to protect two unarmed nurses in the medic tent when some enemy soldiers charged inside.”

Another was the wise Taeil, who was stationed by the barracks. He was one of the people in the front of in line for battle.

“I thought they were fooling with us, and then suddenly fired multiple attacks. I caught on to it quickly, but they still got me.”

Doyoung remembered all those times he used to ask for love advice from him when it grew hard to be far from you. But that advice is no longer useful when he’s further away from you. He was dead, you weren’t.

Once the three of them arrived at their destination, it was an inn that looked destroyed from the outside, but very organized on the inside. Donghyuck and Taeil decided already what they wanted to do before they cross the other side. Doyoung, on the other hand, was still contemplating.

Manwol knew well how to spot a heartbroken person, being one herself. She wasn’t one to interfere with these affairs, but maybe she’d make an exception. Seeing right through him, he lived a fruitful life. She saw his sacrifice, picking up on his last words being dedicated for you, his lover. He didn’t die in vain.

When the two men were off to follow their plans, Manwol took this chance to approach the downcast man again.

“Is something you holding you back from going…” She questioned, staying by his side for a moment. “…or a special someone?”

“I promised my lover to fight strong and to stay alive while she promised to keep waiting for me. But here I am. She has yet to know that I didn’t make it and I can’t bear to see her in utter pain.”

“Death during a war isn’t new, Doyoung. A lot of promises become broken.”

“But I had so much I wanted to do with her after, Manwol. I can’t just leave her yet, I want to stay by her side even if we can’t see each other physically.”

Based on the information Manwol received about Doyoung from the inn staff, it came to her attention that he was fond of books. Thus, it gave her an idea.

“Doyoung, you’re very similar to the staff here. They all have goals that take years to accomplish, so I gave them a job here.”

“What are you offering me then, Manwol?”

“I have a library here in dire need of a librarian. With your interest in books, would you like to take it? After all, I’m implying that you’d want to wait for your lover to make up for your broken promise.”

Doyoung can’t deny that she was wrong. This was where his journey at Manwol Inn (then became Hotel Del Luna) started. Time worked a little bit differently as a ghost, but it’ll be worth it until you return in his arms one day.

On the day you regrettably received the letter from the military about the tragedy, life has turned for the worst. Upon seeing a soldier by your front step, it was only an innocent habit to give him letters for Doyoung and receiving new ones. However, his hand halted you to hand over a military logo imprinted envelope addressed to you alongside his tidy military uniform other letters from Doyoung.

His last letters.

You had no courage to even complete reading it when the first few lines weren’t enough to taunt you. Nothing could prepare for this dreaded moment.

“We regret to inform you that a report from the war office has confirmed that Kim Doyoung was a casualty of the sudden attack of Seoul. this letter formally declares that he was killed in action....”

Dropping the god-forsaken letter in your hands, you instantly locked yourself in your room. Your parents, who picked it up to read, came running to your door and tediously knocking for you to open it. But you didn’t listen, the heartbreak being too grave.

You tried so hard to keep it together these past months. but this kind of grief resulted in your feeble figure pouring into a heap of salty tears and loud sobs. Your back against the wall smoothly slid down until your butt landed on the floor. You clutched on to your gut that continuously stabbed you back and forth.

Betrayal was an understatement, yet it was beyond his control. War guarantees nothing.

But not when you needed him more than ever, especially when the biggest yet most unexpected news came upon you. All nausea and wild mood swings in the weeks that followed after he left weren’t normal, only to find out that you were expecting his child.

It was a secret you didn’t know how to confront through letters because it was best to tell him in person. Due to the situation, it was impossible. Only in your latest letter did you finally come clean about it, but it was now never to be sent because he has already passed away. Your entire family wasn’t pleased with this outcome but they didn’t shame you for it either. It was your choice and body after all.

They were concerned about how others will perceive you in the long run. An unmarried woman carrying a dead man’s child is taboo in this conservative society. Yet abortion is seen in a bad light too. You were stuck in a double edge sword, but you knew from the beginning that you wanted to keep the child. It’s a struggle, for sure, and your plans will have to wait.

Amid this bad luck, this unborn child is the last closest piece of Doyoung.

Amongst your unavoidable flow of tears that you knew must be stopped so it wouldn’t badly affect your child, you placed a hand on top of your lower belly. There was already an evident swelling bump, but your choice to continue wearing loose clothing to swerve from the public’s judgment covered it fine.

Well, for now. Only in the last trimester, it was going to be a challenge.

“I’m sorry you won’t be meet your father....” You spoke, rubbing it upwards. “....But I’ll make sure to take good care of you. You’re all I have left of him.”

Ever since Doyoung accepted Manwol’s offer, he never left his spot at the library. He was amazed at the endless arrangements of books. Even the western books his parents banned him from reading as a child were there. All this entertainment can distract from the long time he has to wait.

Except for today specifically, he asked Jeno, a new friend he made who also lost his life during the Korean war, to take over for a few hours when he found out that mail was to be delivered in Busan.

“Hyung, are you sure?”

“I just need to see her, Jeno.”

Doyoung expected the heartache when he saw you cry in your bedroom after finding out, and he couldn’t refrain from crying with you. Even as a soul, he’d do anything to cradle you in his arms and say that things will get better in time. How he wanted to tell you to take your time in life and that he’s willing to wait until your time comes. Whenever it could be.

Sadly, he was right there listening to you talk to your unborn child. The disbelief of in his reaction; he was supposed to be a father. Sure, he was relatively young. People won’t approve of it because you were unmarried. But it was an early start to settling down with each other.

It took him a while to accept his unfortunate fate, but for him to be robbed of this meaningful part in life was more unbearable to deal with.

From that point, he made sure to watch over you even if he was invisible. Even if Manwol advised him not to so it won’t complicate anything, he reassured that he has it under control. As a ghost without any grudges, what’s there to throw a fit at? He could retaliate at the enemy soldiers who shot him fearlessly, but they are nowhere to be found and he had no interest to turn into ashes.

The only time he assisted you was when you were giving birth. It was an excruciating process, sweating and breathing intensely. You let a scream every time you pushed, like any of the herbs or medications you consumed were wearing off. Your body wanted to give up as it weakened at the loss of blood.

Childbirth is no joke, having high mortality rates during these times. It was a tempting choice you’d want to take as Doyoung is no longer alive. But you knew it was selfish to leave your child as an orphan.

Doyoung couldn’t withstand watching you struggle anymore. If there was a trick Manwol taught him, it was to possess people. It’s often portrayed as a negative skill, warning him to only use it when it’s an emergency.

The pitiful way your eyes were drained off energy, he had to step in. Observing the midwife panicking on your side even if she was giving you support, he took his chance to possess her. Adjusting to this body, it made him glad to feel your warm hand again.

“(Y/N), your child is almost here.” The doctor positively announced.

“I want a breather. The grim reaper should just take me.” You complained as your mother wiped the endless drops of sweat on your forehead. Doyoung took it to heart, knowing death firsthand was no joke.

“Yah, don’t say stuff like that, (Y/N). This child is bound to be an amazing addition to your life.”

You didn’t know how your timid midwife would straighten you up, but it motivated you a lot more to finish the process. Little did you know.

She gladly accepted your firm grips on her hand, giving affirmative responses to keep you going. In moments you closed your eyes to push, you couldn’t help notice in the corner of your eye how from the physique of your midwife, you swore you saw him. His hand holding yours instead of the midwife.

Was this in the medication? For a moment, you let a tear not from pain but from happiness to catch a glimpse of him in your weakest moment. Every day, you were missing him.

It took almost half an hour before a small set of wails bore in the room while you harshly threw yourself back in the bed to recover your breathing patterns. It knocked you out for a while. Doyoung, still possessing the midwife, was handed the newborn by the doctor and tasked to clean her up.

“It’s a healthy baby girl.” the doctor confirmed as he wiped away the blood on the floor.

He was then brought by your mother to a designated room to bathe the relaxed newborn in his arms.

His newborn.

His desire to phase out of the midwife and use his skill to be visible while holding his child was strong. But it’s too risky since the midwife can catch him. He sucked it up and proceeded in what the books taught him on bathing a baby. During his break time, he’d read all the parenting books he could find. It’ll be rare anyways for him to use the tips, but he always wanted to stay prepared.

As the bubbles of the soap surrounded the relaxed baby, he washed her delicately to avoid her from waking up. He was just mesmerized at how you and he created something so precious. He used to be the type of man to be awkward around kids, but after catering to many children in the library and now his child, it started to change.

“Hello there, little one. Your mother needs you, so you better be good to her.”

Ghosts were highly discouraged to make any more emotional connections with the living because they’ll just end up being hurt, making it harder to move on. Exactly what Doyoung is doing was that, and the more he bonded with his daughter, it was a rekindled kind of pain. The kind when you separate family from each other. The same one he felt when he bid his parents good-bye before joining the war, only to never come back.

To top this off, the tiny hand of his sleeping daughter, whom he finally dried off with a small towel and wrapped in a fresh blanket, sleepily grasped on his pinky finger. Technically, it was the midwife’s, but he was in control.

Nonetheless, the innocent gesture got him both feeling on top of the moon and disheartened at the same time. As he curled it in a silly manner, noticing the size difference, he leaned down to leave a kiss on top of her forehead.

“I’m sorry I’m going to miss out on your life. But I’ll always be here for you, even if I’m in the shadows. Don’t ever question my love for you. Because I do love you, wholeheartedly.”

Kim Areum.

That was the name you settled with when your daughter was finally in your arms. It’s ideal to give Doyoung’s last name too because she is half of him. After resting for quite a while, you noticed how the midwife suddenly shook her body and took a loud deep breath when she helped out cleaning the area up.

“Are you okay?” You question, noticing her state of confusion.

“Uhm, yeah....” She narrowed her eyes to her environment. “Oh wait, you gave birth already? Wow, that was pretty fast...”

“Yes, you were right beside me the whole time...” You glanced sideways at her, suspicious.

“Oh wow yeah, I was.” She tried to laugh it off. “It was like I had an out-of-this-world moment or something. Oh whatever, I sound stupid.”

That brought you back to your early doubts. Whether or not he showed up or you were somewhat hallucinating. But not wanting to reflect too much on the impossible, you merely refocused to the peaceful newborn nestled in your arms.

She’s the only one keeping you alive in these hard times. She served as a reminder of him, thus you’ll hold on to her. From the outside of your window, all Doyoung can do now is to continue watching from afar every once in a while.

1954

Not much has changed in the past few years. You were either reading or taking care of Areum. Your family was lucky enough to have good housing, but getting important necessities such as water and food was a constant struggle.

With the war leading to lots of souls in the inn, he had to fulfill his mandatory orders to prepare souls to move on. He was joyful to be of service to others like he was back in the day.

Though lately, it’s still unavoidable for him to ponder how exactly are you and his daughter are doing. Once Donghyuck and Taeil went ahead for the afterlife, the loneliness began to creep in. Then a while ago, Jeno introduced him to a new group of children today checking out the library. Caught in a deadly car accident on their way home from school, he pitied how such bright kids left the world too soon.

These factors sparked his longing, plus there was still something above that: it was your birthday soon. Much to his luck, Manwol just received a new gift from the deities that might be his biggest help in coping.

“A dream call?” Doyoung inquired once he was summoned by Manwol to the meeting room, sitting across her.

“Yes, a call to anyone from the living that you wish to talk to in their dreams. Though this can only be used once per visitor. The deities pitied those with loved ones who want to see them physically. Thus, they invented this.”

“What are you implying?”

“Doyoung, you know well how easy I can read people even through their fake smiles. You miss her very much.” Manwol replied, holding up the phone to his ear. “This is your chance, Doyoung. Even if you can’t see them, they will see you.”

The first dream started with you sitting at your old spot by the river, in a simple dress Doyoung bought for you on your last ever birthday celebration with him. The forest looked breathtaking as if it was still pre-war times again. The river was still clear of blood and pollution. It must be spring, the flowers above you on the tree were in full bloom.

The sound of bike wheels stopping to park in the grass and someone humming changed your point of interest. There was the only person in your mind who would do that. Jumping from your seated position, you looked behind the other side of the tree only to find him picking up flowers from the branches. He was tall, not having much difficulty getting them.

The way he looked so peaceful and well-rested. This beauty and peace of mind he radiated, it was unreal.

“Doyoung.”

He clenched on the phone with his hand, his concealed yearning to at least hear his name on your lips again urged a tear to go down his cheek.

“Happy birthday, (Y/N).”

He handed you the flower bouquet he made for you. Meanwhile, he suddenly dropped it when you didn’t hesitate to sling your arms around his waist. Your head pressed to his chest, pulling him closer you could care less if you lost your breath. Doyoung felt that tight hug, gripping on the part of his uniform where you placed your head. He rubbed it as if it was your hair.

None of you spoke a word and gracefully paused to take a moment.

Time in a dream call works a bit differently than in the living world. Once you’re in session, one minute alone of talking is equivalent to 30 minutes in the living world.

Doyoung took his first call to catch up with you and say everything he never got to before. It was also where he confessed how he knew about your daughter. There were guilt and regret at how you could’ve told him in your earlier letters.

“You were scared, (Y/N). There’s no way I can blame you.” Laying against his chest, he comforted you. “By the way, she has your nose, you know.”

There was this wave of relief that splashed you after this big burden lifted. You can live a more untroubled life now.

“She has your temper though.” You jokingly say, putting you in a fit of giggles. It’s been too long since you experienced genuine humor.

“At age 3? Yah, I’m impressed.” He remarked with pride.

Since Doyoung wasn’t capable to be physically affectionate in the dreams, he was more on receiving them from you. In return, he gave sincere conversations even if they were a yearly thing. Talking about your daughter was one of your favorite topics. adolescence, teenage years, to university, there was so much to talk about. Doyoung would only use his dream calls on you on your birthday, making them more meaningful. Each one, you were both back to your twenties with different outfits and settings based on the differing decades.

“Don’t you feel burdened to wait for me?” You asked as his fingers brushed some of your hair back while you watched the sunset from a wooden bench.

“No, I’m not. there are still many things I want to fulfill before moving on. I also want to watch Areum grow up and help you in any possible. Only when these goals of mine and others are cleared, then I‘ll be able to rest well.”

“Will you be okay until then, Doyoung?”

“I broke a promise with you, (Y/N). and I want to make up for it.”

“What will you do when my time comes?” Your hand interlocked with his, squeezing it tight even if he couldn’t reciprocate it.

“I will shout out your name and hug you tight, my love. But until then, appreciate your life. Live it to its fullest. For me.”

Doyoung sensed your worry but comforted you that it’ll be okay. He wasn’t lying either when he said he wanted to do a lot of things too. Every dream call, his gut feelings were strong to know what you were going through in every call, giving you any advice to get you through them.

To count, he gave you almost 50 dream calls.

The late 1950s-1960s

After returning to university to finish your undergraduate studies when the war ended, you continued to pursue law school and taking the exams as you’ve wanted. But this meant moving to Seoul for better opportunities.

Doyoung celebrated with himself when he found out, not having to take the bus or ride the hotel car to Busan every time he wanted to see you two. Now, he could simply walk back and forth, managing it with his shifts.

Currently, he was taking a break in his office. The deities gifted him with a bunch of murder mystery books from the West, fully immersed in the storylines. Leaning backward from his chair, he was abruptly disconnected by a knock on his open door.

“Hyung, you have a special visitor in the lobby.” Jeno urgently informed Doyoung as he leaned on the side of his office door, out of breath. “It’s quite important if you ask me.”

Doyoung removed his reading glasses and put down his novel. Putting back his blazer on, he approached his younger friend and made their way down the hallway together hastily.

“Is it a family member who’s passed?” He questioned, slightly folding his blazer sleeves then adjusting the hotel pin on his chest pocket. By the tone Jeno spoke, it must’ve been serious. Although there’s no way it can be you just yet, he has no idea who was looking for him then.

The lobby was bustling with numerous souls. Some still fresh, some just roaming around, while others were preparing to pass the other side. Nothing new to it, until Jeno pointed out a specific scene in one corner of the room.

“Hyung, over there.”

Like an obedient puppy, Doyoung looked over to where Jeno’s finger directed. At first glance, by her long black hair, he recognized Manwol, who was kneeling in front of someone seated. It wasn’t until she stood up and shifted her body to the side to reveal that someone, patting her young head kindly.

She wore a ribbon on her hair, matching with the colors of her floral dress while carefully holding on to a piece of paper with her drawing. Due to the distance, he couldn’t make out what she drew. Though with her dazzling eye smile formed by her small eyes, he knew her too well.

“Areum.”

Right on cue, the young girl caught his entrancing gaze. With the widest smile, she exclaimed “Daddy!”

Manwol, who was right beside her, held her hand and graced their way to Doyoung and Jeno. The two knew she despised children, ordering them to keep a keener eye on them when they wander around so they don’t access the hallway leading to her office. Unexpectedly, Areum didn’t burden her the slightest. She brought a different aura, a very pure and full of love kind.

With the full moon shining at its peak, becoming present to the eyes of the living, she must’ve spotted the hotel from afar and her interest grew wild for it. Typical for girls her age. Not afraid of the risks, she followed any directions to get here. Coincidentally, she encountered Manwol in the front gate.

Manwol recognized her straight away, even when she glimpsed the drawing of her family she treasured in her chest. She still included her father, whom she was very much acquainted with. Though, she was puzzled by her sudden appearance. When Areum explained that her father lived in the hotel according to your stories, her heart fell to her gut. Indeed, she was right, but again, ghosts are discouraged to have connections with the living or anything related to it. However, her strong senses couldn’t disregard how much Doyoung yearned for his family. Lately, his only daughter when numerous children arrived at the hotel. He didn’t want to voice it out however because the other staff shared the same sentiments, so it would be insensitive so he just kept it to himself. But Manwol sensed it all too well.

She won’t tell anyone this, but she has quite a soft spot for Doyoung. She empathized with him the most since he came to the hotel, willing to do what it takes to make his coping and waiting worthwhile. She was still brash at times, but only when necessary.

Areum’s presence didn’t seem to harm anyone, charming anyone around with a smile and her words. Especially that smile, it shows enough of how much she’s Doyoung’s daughter. With a rough internal debate, Manwol welcomed her inside the magical hotel Areum described it as and tasked Jeno to call for Doyoung. It was a risk, but a needed one.

With Manwol innocently holding the young girl’s hand, she looked her down and asked her, “Is that your father from your drawing, Areum?”

Areum lit up as she tilted her head upwards to see her tall father, nodding proudly. “Yes, that’s him! The one my mom talks about in her dreams too!”

Doyoung’s heart swelled at her pride for him, not hesitating to kneel to her height. Arms wide open, he loudly called her out for the first time. “Areum!”

The young girl, letting go of Manwol’s hand, ran as fast as her short legs could like nothing can stop her, even if the lobby was packed. Soon enough, she’s at the grasp of her father, carrying and hugging her in circles. Light as a feather, he took in her scent and warmth. The racing beat of her heart pulsated against his chest, reminding how much life she’s filled with. It was liberating that she found him, even when he stood behind the dark shadows.

Once he put her back down, “What brings you here, Areum? Isn’t it past your bedtime already?”

She pouted, sulking at disobeying your rules. “I know, but as soon as I was ready for bed, I saw the hotel in bright lights just like mommy described. She said that only during the peak full moon it’ll be shown to very special people who are alive, and it turns out that I’m one of them, daddy.”

Hearing that title from her lips was something he would’ve never get sick of. He felt the validity more than ever.

The odds of being a human spotting the hotel during peak full moon was rare, earning perplexed looks by those who don’t see it. Doyoung never encountered a human waltzing in the hotel out of the bloom, so for his daughter to have this mystical ability was a gift in disguise. Maybe the deities knew how to cut off some slack and agony for wandering souls. This was an excuse to stop cursing them now and then.

“Wow, aren’t you a lucky girl for that?” Jeno, whom he forgot was by his side, patted her head similarly to Manwol. “Your father missed you dearly, you know?”

“Well, Mr. Jeno,” She picked up his name from his nametag. “I missed him too.”

Doyoung processed the features of the angelic girl in front of him, astonished at how you and he created someone so cheerful during a time of trouble. Aside from her eye smile, she had his gummy smile and curiosity, while she inherited your nose and intelligence. Cupping her chubby cheek, he pinched it with a cute sound effect from his mouth.

“Daddy!” She protested, slapping his hand away and dramatically covered her reddening cheek. “Not allowed to that, ever.”

Oh, you weren’t joking when you said she had his temper too.

Before he could defend himself, Manwol reentered their interaction. Like common sense, Doyoung got back on his feet but helplessly giving side glances to his daughter. Manwol giggled at his sudden formality before instructing Jeno to lead Areum to the carnival room. As Areum waves him goodbye for the meantime, Manwol added on.

“There’s a rise of kids checking in the hotel, unfortunately, so I wholeheartedly requested the deities to create an area dedicated for child-like fun. Just today, it’s finished in construction so it’s a great place for Areum to explore.”

“Manwol, I-” He was feeling overwhelmed, stumbling his words. “Why did you this for me?”

“You used your dream calls for (Y/N), but there’s never been a way for you to reach out to your daughter. And the way her glimmering eyes wanted to come in when she shouldn’t, I couldn’t refuse a chance for the two to reunite.”

“But what about the deities?”

“I’ll handle it. What matters is that you have tonight to spend with Areum. It’s the least thing I could do as you are one of my beloved staff,” She reassured, yet looked at him in a downcast manner. “But as much as possible, everything tonight must feel like a vivid dream to her. She’s not allowed to keep any knick-knacks from tonight either.”

Everything always came at a price. Doyoung was acquainted well enough, but he can’t lie to say that I didn’t ache. Nonetheless, Manwol having such a selfless side was completely new to him. That’s why he never asked for favors like the other staff since he’ll just get turned down or scolded like a child. Maybe she wasn’t as scary as to how they labeled her all these years he’s worked for her.

Manwol took Doyoung’s silence under the impression of internal conflict. In true Manwol fashion, she clapped her hands right in front of his visage, snatching him back to reality. “You’re wasting time, Doyoung! Don’t think about it too much right now. Now come on and dress up more casually, your daughter is waiting for you.”

Following her order, he bowed respectfully before zooming to his hotel room. She was right, he has to enjoy whatever is given. Demanding for more when you’re already dead is disrespectful to the eyes of the deities, considering that alongside your past life when you step into the afterlife.

From his uniform, he changed into a white long sleeve buttoned-up, which was layered under a lilac knit sweater, and black trousers. He styled his hair in a dandier way, applying gel then combing it upwards. He was only following the trends of the decade, basing it on the recently checked-in souls. Deities must’ve liked him a lot to give him a lot of gifts from time to time, making him completely disregard the money from the living world Manwol gives during his off days. Most of the time, his off days are spent either secretly observing you and your daughter, or reading more books in the library.

This one was like a change of scenery, his heart pumping once he exited to the elevator and rushed to the carnival room. And just as he entered the doors, the wave of nostalgia hit him instantaneously. It felt like he was in university again, bringing you around the bizarre contraptions and games for the first time for your amusement. A spark in your romance, so full of young love and naivety of what was to come.

He spotted his young girl wrapped around in the arms of Jeno, explaining to her about the wide range of rides as she licked on a rainbow lollipop. Once he showed up to the both of them, Jeno cautiously put her down so she can hold Doyoung’s hand.

“You deserve this, hyung. Make it worthwhile.” Jeno placed his hand on his older friend’s shoulder before leaving the room. Keeping it in mind, Doyoung kneeled again in front of his daughter. Her smiles were contagious, fascinated by everything she’s surrounded in.

“I’ve never seen anything like this, daddy.” That line sounded familiar, chuckling at the precious memory.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have fun tonight!”

The bliss in tonight was never-ending, like the two of them were in their own world. Areum wanted to ride on a horse in a carousel first, which Doyoung agreed to. Lifting her, he held her by the waist as the ride started to go. She pointed out every object that she can see while Doyoung avidly listened, then telling her what each ride and game consists of in return.

Once they got off, her short legs scurried off to the game booth where rows of bottles were laid in front of her. Right beside her were the rings. Doyoung properly described the instructions, and on the dot, Areum went ham and started throwing the rings in random directions. By the way, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed, her competitive side was evident. Doyoung observed as she either hit or miss, finding another trait of his in her.

You’d find it hard to believe, but she would’ve been a total daddy’s girl.

To her success, she squealed victoriously as she won and hugged her dad. One of the staff in charge rewarded her with new candy to munch on, and off she went to look for the next attraction to divulge in. Doyoung struggled a little catching up to her, but anything he would do for his daughter.

From a one on one balloon dart game, which Doyoung willingly let Areum won because she’s a fussy one, roaming through a mini house of mirrors, riding the indoor Ferris wheel, and many more, Areum was ready to move to the next venue after telling her father that she wanted him to read to her.

“Mommy said you’re a librarian here because you like reading. I like it too, can you take me there?”

Just like you, he was charmed by his daughter. “Alright, Areum. Let’s go there then.”

Before they made it through past the wide doors with the bright red sign above saying “Exit”, Areum’s attention was distracted by a black kiosk near the Ferris wheel. She followed her gut, changing her direction. Doyoung quickly followed her footsteps, only to turn up in front of a photo booth.

“Wow, are these where you can take instant pictures, daddy?”

Waves of nostalgia hit Doyoung as if he were on the beach, totally unprepared for the emotional impact. With Areum, he missed your presence more than ever. Having you there completed your family, and it could’ve been quite a reunion.

“Yes, Areum. How about you go inside and daddy will insert some coins so you can have your pictures taken?”

“But daddy, I want to take pictures with you! It’s only mommy that has pictures with you, and I don’t want to feel left out.” She threw a tantrum, crossing her arms.

Here she goes again, making it difficult for Doyoung to refuse. Even with Manwol only giving him one rule to follow for the night, he doesn’t want any bad memories to be made with his daughter. He’ll have to work it out one way or another later. In the meantime, he smirked before carried her out of the blue inside the booth. Her shrieks increased in volume, only softening after she settled on her father’s lap. Doyoung inserts a few coins, and swiftly enough, the contraption started to operate.

“Okay Areum, one photo strip has 4 solo photos in it. 4 smiles or poses, okay? You’re going to look at the lens there, in the shape of a circle. Then, the flash is going to show in 3, 2-” Right on time, the two smiled.

They had less than 10 seconds until the second shot, so the two pulled random funny expressions. Doyoung pouted his lips, while Areum stuck out her tongue. For the third photo, Doyoung kissed the top of her head while Areum poked her cheeks with her fingers. Lastly, Areum instructed her father to lower his head to her level so she can peck his cheek. His shock was perfectly taken, filling his heart with adoration.

Areum hating getting affection but loves giving it? Another trait of his.

The look of amazement Areum gave once she stepped foot on the endless library was priceless. She described how it was bigger than the national library in Seoul. While she strolled around the near shelves, Jeno, taking over his night shift, approached him with a bottled treat. But it wasn’t just a normal one.

“Manwol and I overheard that she liked strawberry milk, so Manwol told me to give it to you. It has the dream spell potion from Johnny’s bar mixed with flowers from the deities so she can’t see ghosts or the hotel anymore. Make sure she drinks it before she leaves this place.”

While Areum settles on the small couch with her chosen books, she patiently anticipated for her father to read to her before her yawning takes over her. She never tracked the time, but she’s gone way beyond her average curfew.

“Sleepy already, sweetheart?” Doyoung asked as he sat beside her, inspecting her drowsy state.

Areum shook her head, displaying all the books she got on the table in front of her. “Nope! Not until you read me a bedtime story.”

Doyoung scanned through her book selection, amazed by her choices. The Little Prince, Winnie the Pooh, Goodnight Moon, and a bunch of Madeline books from the series, he couldn’t decide! If only he could read them all for her.

A lot of those books he read growing up, and the same goes for you. Especially Madeline, which he discovered through you as one of your childhood favorites. By instinct, he chose the first book from the series, simply entitled “Madeline”.

“This one.” He patted his lap so she could sit on it, which she did without wasting a breath.

It was ironic for a librarian to have never read aloud for anyone during his stay. Maybe because no one asked him to nor he wasn’t into reading aloud. He preferred reading to himself, only helping those looking for specific books or recommending if anyone has a favorite genre. Maybe he’ll give it a shot now. This first-hand experience opened his eyes to a new type of intimacy, hearing the adorable reactions from his daughter as he read the life of Madeline in Paris.

“In the middle of one night, Miss Clavel turned on her light and said, “Something is not right!”.” Doyoung flipped the next page. “Little Madeline sat in bed, cried and cried-”

“She cried to get attention, huh?” Areum commented mid-reading.

“Areum, if she didn’t, she could get even sicker. We don’t want that, right?”

“If I cried like that, would that be enough to bring you back to me and mommy, daddy?” She wholesomely questioned, twisting her body weight so she could face him. “Mommy already has a way to reach to you, and I want something like that too”

Doyoung knew she was a smart girl, but she often denies the reality of some things. In this case, her father’s passing still hasn’t hit her, even if she possessed the mystical skill to see ghosts and the hotel. Doyoung felt cornered, so before he could think of a reply, he kindly asks her,

“Hmm, what do you have in mind, sweetheart?”

“Well,” She pouted as she fidgeted with her index fingers. “I read all your old letters to mommy, so maybe I can write you one every year.”

“What a great idea, sweetheart!” He cheered. “How will you give it?”

“Uh..” She paused to think, then a bright idea came to her. “During your birthday, daddy! Mommy and I still celebrate it if you don’t know, so I can offer it alongside the food.”

Doyoung played along, knowing that tradition of yours. Although it still aches him to show up on his death anniversary, he compromised by showing up on his birthday. He’d see his and your families celebrating, talking about the positive and fun things about him in his life. He observed his daughter a little more later when she got older and started talking. Whenever you praised him for something, there was hope and inspiration in her young eyes. It’s uplifting to discover that his legacy was seen in a good light. He’d never wanted to be seen as a bad guy to anyone.

“I’ll look forward to it, sweetheart. Promise?” He stuck out his pinky to her, getting curled in response by hers.

“Promise!”

Both of them chuckled, appreciating the moment. His long arms embraced her from the back, nuzzling his head on his shoulder. How blessed to have a daughter like her, but from a glance, the bottle of strawberry milk situated beside the pile of books gave a remembrance of one of his remaining tasks. It had to be done, but he hoped she won’t at least forget to write to him.

“Look! Miss Manwol wanted to give this to you.” He handed it to her.

Ecstatic, she cranked open the bottle cap and took tiny sips of it. “It’s so good, daddy!”

Doyoung softly laughed as excess milk drops dribbled in her lips, wiping it with his thumb. “Aigoo, you messy girl. Let’s continue, shall we?”

Cozying up to him again, Doyoung resumed his storytelling. Once he said the words, “The end.”, the small head of his daughter completely leaned against his chest. Snuggling for more comfort, he checked her current condition. Knocked out like a light, he puts the book down and cradled her for a second. The last time he did something like this was when she was born. She was tiny then, and now, she’s bound to outgrow his lap sooner or later.

This was his sign to bring her home.

He boosted her small figure, her head now planted on his shoulder and his hand resting behind the nape of her neck. Her legs were entangled in his torso when he showed up at the lobby again. It was much more serene, everyone checked in already.

“Aigoo, fast asleep already?” Manwol made an appearance without warning, alongside her personal driver Yuta and the bartender Johnny.

“As expected from my magic.” Johnny commended himself, stretching his fingers. That easily gave him a slap from Yuta.

“Can’t you be more sensitive to Doyoung?”

Not caring about those two, Manwol caressed Areum from behind. Inside her cold heart, she brought so much amusement. Even if she embodied traits from Doyoung, she stood out from his usual reserved nature. She had so much energy, and it’s a fresh sight. Manwol secretly peered at their father-daughter time in the library, and she sensed the love the two had for each other. Even if it’s unbearable to separate them, having tonight was a pleasure for all.

“Yuta,” She summoned him. “Drop these two to her house safe and sound. It’s too dangerous to walk in the dark right now.”

Bowing in response, he led the way to the elevator for Doyoung to follow. But before he took the first step, Manwol halted him by the arm. “You better come back, or the deities won’t be pleased.”

He nodded before he was sent on his way. Wasn’t this brutal?

The silence in the car ride is deafening, though he didn’t want to disturb his little girl either. Yuta peeked from the mirror now and then to check on the two, sharing the gloom of his fellow friend. Having something or someone so valuable from the living world makes it hard to leave it. He understood as he suffered a similar fate to him.

When they’ve arrived at their destination, Doyoung was quick to notice that the lights from your living room were still on. It’s too risky to waltz in through the front door, squinting for other ways to go inside. To his luck, the window of Areum’s bedroom was wide open. That must’ve been how she escaped earlier.

“Be careful, Doyoung. Her neighbors may be watching.”

“It’s around 4 am right now, Yuta. I’ll be fine.” He reassured, clicking open the car door with his daughter peacefully asleep.

Entering inside her bedroom, he gently put her down on her soft bed. Covering her body with the duvet so she wouldn’t get cold, he took one last lingering look before taking his leave. Manwol might be looking for him already. Pressuring even to know that Yuta was waiting outside for him and that the deities are looking down on him too.

“Daddy,” Her tiny hand tugged on his sleeve, stopping his movements. Her droopy eyes faintly ajar, wanting to capture these last dreamy moments. “Don’t leave me and mommy again.”

This retouched attachment between the two made things much more stifling to accept reality. Doyoung understood her fright and sighed, kneeling to her again. Patting her head, “I’m sorry but I have no choice, sweetheart. We don’t want daddy to get in trouble, right?”

She lazily nods, tugging on his sleeve again. “Can you sing me to sleep, daddy? You used to do that for mommy.”

He grinned, accepted her last request. Holding on her hand, kissing it, he quietly sings.

“Eonjebuteoinji geudaereul bomyeon….”

When the song reached its end, the soft snores from Areum filled his eardrums. Her eyes are fully closed, and her tiny head fell to the side of her pillow. Kissing her forehead, he whispered, “Good night, sweetheart. Daddy loves you so much.”

A cute sight to Doyoung, she occupied a huge part in his heart. Even if everything tonight will feel like a complete dream, it’s a memorable moment for Doyoung that he’ll treasure.

Initially, he planned to leave her bedroom the same way he came in, which was through her window. That’s all Manwol tasked him to do when he arrives at your house, but his heart selfishly desires to see you. Even if he was invisible now. His powers were weakening, twitching from being visible to invisible back and forth.

Never has he stepped inside your new house, and this could be his only chance.

The first thing he saw after leaving his daughter’s bedroom was the dining room. Tidy and organized, as expected from you. For the living room connected to it, the simple decorations invited him inside. Assorted photos hung in the wall and by the table near the front door, with a fresh bouquet of asters in a vase there too.

Alluring as it is, the only thing Doyoung couldn’t keep his eyes off the most was a sleeping you in pajamas, hunched over the coffee table on top of books and numerous paperwork. An empty coffee glass neared the edge, so he caught it before you squirmed again from your sleep.

The exhaustion from your life was constantly piled up one after the other. You’ve been studying hard at law school, balancing it with a part-time job as a teacher’s assistant at your university for undergrads and being a mom to Areum. Even seeing the pile of bills right by your side, you didn’t just need the help of your families. You needed him, as a friend, lover, and father.

Men were still viewed as the main breadwinners of the family, but you juggled both positions as mother and father. It was a vicious fate, and he’d do anything to share that challenge with you. For now, the only thing he could do is bring you to bed at least.

Taking you into his arms bridal style, completely knocked out, he only assumed the remaining door in front of Areum’s bedroom was your bedroom. Carefully kicking it, he graced your bed and laid you down elegantly so your sleeping flow won’t be disturbed. He put the covers on top of your body so you’d feel comfier.

Right in front of your bedside was a breezy open window, the moonlight creeping in to highlight your sleeping face. The wrinkles on your forehead started to show, a side effect of immense stress. It’s a trait no one wants, yet it symbolized aging and moving forward to the future. Doyoung envied you for it.

Besides that, you looked youthful as ever, seeking internal peace from the outside world in your deep slumber. His index traced the outline of your face, appreciating your glow. Trapped in amazement, leaving you will be more difficult. It’s been a while since he saw you up close in the flesh, but Manwol’s words daunted his mind. Just like his daughter, his lips softly pecked your forehead and to your ear, he said in a hushed tone, “Good night, my love. I’m so proud of you.”

Getting back on his knees to exit, he’s convinced that you and your daughter can detect a leaving presence and catch it before they do. On cue, your hand unconsciously grabbed his wrist. Your mind couldn’t make up what mental state you were in, but something in you vibed a known presence. One that you’ve yearned, one that you struggle to wait and see until your birthday arrives. Is he actually here?

Doyoung reacted immediately, his feet shuffling to face you again. Eyes still shut close, but your lips released a satisfied moan as you stretched your arms slightly.

“Is it my birthday already?” You mumbled incoherently, gripping on the unknown wrist. “Or am I just lucky enough to get a free pass?”

He rolled his eyes at your nonsense. “If this was a free pass, what would you want me to do?”

You weakly took a peek. It was blurry, probably caused by your sleepiness. But you recognized the silhouette of this stranger from the back of your hand. You clutched his grip, bringing his face closer to yours. Doyoung didn’t expect such a jerking action, almost falling limp if his other free hand didn’t grip on your duvet.

“Kiss me before you go again, my love.” You requested, mindlessly craving his touch.

Loosening from your grip, his palm cupped your cheek as he wets his lips. He made the first move, sweetly and slowly. Even at your unknown state, you returned with the same level of passion, brushing the hair behind the nape of his neck to deepen it. You haven’t kissed anyone like this in a very long time, too busy with your studies and motherhood. This refreshed your memories of what you missed, a warm tear escaping your eye.

No one will ever match up to him.

Doyoung’s deprivation of physical touch for you amplified, eagerness for so much more than this. Touching himself to the thought of you grew tiring, wanting to have you in the flesh by his side. It wasn’t until a bright car light from outside shun by your window. Yuta was an impatient one, but he had every right to be.

It was fulfilling while it lasted. His heart throbbed when his lips parted from yours, opening his eyes again. Your eyes stayed closed, but your lips hummed in satisfaction.

“Nothing changed in the way you kiss, my love.” You complimented, succumbing back to your deep slumber by pulling yourself further inside the duvet.

Doyoung grinned at your words, kissing your knuckle one last time. “I meant what I said, (Y/N). Sleep well.”

He tiptoed out your bedroom, deciding to exit through the front door. Again, no one would be awake at this time anyway. However, an antique-looking photo of him caught his eye. Taking a closer look, it was you and him by his garden, clutching on his arm under their family lemon tree and smiling during pre-war times. It was a funny story actually.

His father bought a camera for the first time and wanted to test it out. You were over at their house that day to study, and his father insisted to take a photo of the two of you as a first try.

“Oh come on, we must commemorate this new contraption! The first people can be titled “Young Love” or something like that!”

Doyoung cringed, whining, “Dad, that’s so corny!”

“I don’t care. Now hurry, join the frame with (Y/N) and smile!”

His father may present himself as strict and stubborn as one of the most affluent men in Korean society even after the war, but behind the scenes, he knows how to entertain his children. Doyoung’s childhood never had a dull moment. Oh, how wished he could follow the same fate as him.

This happy photo was a golden treasure to you, framing it so it could be preserved. It was one of your last traces of him, aside from Areum. Next to it, a much smaller photo of you and Areum was placed. Also all smiles for the two of you, Areum firmly sat on your lap and clasping her hands above her dress. You cut your hair during that time, showing the dog tag necklace that once belonged to him on your neck. You were really devoted to him, and he’s grateful, to say the least.

He knew he shouldn’t take anything either before going back to the hotel, but there was just no way he can’t take this one photo of his favorite girls with him. He already kept his photo strip of him and Areum from the carnival in his back pocket, so he’ll just have to work out the consequences then.

Returning to the car was bittersweet. He took one more proper look at your home, taking in all the positive energy to have such a loving family even if he can only watch from afar. While Yuta revved the car on, Doyoung deeply sighed from the backseat. What a spontaneous evening.

“I’m guessing you didn’t resist seeing your lover either, Doyoung?” Yuta commented, viewing him from the mirror. Raising his brows playfully, “Got caught in the VIP seat of you two lip-locking.”

“First of all, that’s creepy, Yuta. Second, you most definitely know what it feels like to be separated from your lover. Cut me some slack.”

“Whatever, that’s not my business anyway. But good luck to you if Manwol asked why there was a sudden extension.” The older friend shrugged, his foot pressing on the pedal to drive off the area.

“Keyword is if she asks. Now please, drive faster, Yuta. I have a shift to fill in now.”

Last night was a gift, but also an aching reminder of what could’ve been if he never died. The sun is slowly making its appearance again, bringing in another morning in this reality. Another work day for Doyoung, more waiting to be done.

Yet recalling his bonding moments with Areum, he’ll most likely get through another few decades. He yanked out his photo strip from the back pocket of his trousers, gazing at their authentic happiness. He muttered to himself,

“I’ll see you and your mother again, and we’ll all celebrate and rejoice. ‘Til then, my sweetheart.”

Meanwhile, ever since that peculiar “dream” with Doyoung, it left you with a lot of questions. Perhaps, it’s all just in your head. Though it doesn’t quite answer how one of your beloved pictures went missing. That’s definitely something you’re going to ask if your birthday comes up again.

Moving forward, his kind words pushed you to do your best. In the next years, you first became a family lawyer for a few years to get used to the field, but permanently shifted to being a public attorney because you wanted to be able to represent those who are suffering the most yet can’t afford the legal help to avoid it.

Just like what you and Doyoung aspired.

Balancing that with a kid was overwhelming, but with your and Doyoung’s families helping you out, your stress lessened.

You served as a huge inspiration to female college students wanting to pursue law. Since law is still perceived as a male-dominated field, you constantly pushed to make space for women in that workforce. It was also rare of you to lose a case because of the hard work you put into disproving every loophole and suggesting the correct punishments for the wrongdoers.

“You really outdid yourself once again, (Y/N). Or should I say Attorney (Y/L/N) (Y/N).”

“Shut up, Doyoung. Tell me more about your hotel staff friends. That Johnny guy seems very fun, and Jeno seems like a lovely boy.”

“Johnny’s a playful lad, always the life of the party. Jeno is like the younger brother I really wish I had. Donghyun-hyung is okay and all, but he’s so high maintenance.”

“Shush! He’s doing fantastic right now. He pursued acting like he always wanted.”

“He deserves it because he’s hard-working, like yourself, Attorney.”

You’ve never fallen in love the same way you did for Doyoung. Though you won’t lie that you’ve slept with a few men during nights out with your co-workers, committing to another man was something you had no time for. You always envisioned Doyoung as the one fucking you senseless.

People viewed it as stupid to be still lovestruck over your dead lover, but you’ve been called worst insults in your life that it doesn’t sting that much anymore. At the end of the day, your heart still soared and longed for Doyoung.

You just can never let him go.

“It’s still unfair to you, Doyoung. I should be ashamed.” The two of you were at a drive-in theater, watching from the trunk of his pickup truck. Your back laid against his chest as his fingers roam your torso in an upwards motion.

“No, you shouldn’t, (Y/N). It’s natural to desire human affection. I’m the one who should be sorry for not giving it to you.”He replied, completely ignoring the film.

You scoffed jokingly. “It’s silly how we’re so deprived of sex, especially with each other.”

“Oh, (Y/N). Don’t get me started, I’m suffering here with my hand alone while you can just find any available man.”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” You surrendered, directing your head from the front to the back. “At the end of the day, it’s still your touch that still gets me weak.”

“My dear, on the day we reunite, brace yourself. I’ll show you who you really belong to.”

1973

Doyoung’s been on duty with reading books to children lately, and again, he’s aching to see what Areum’s up to. Rereading past letters from her from his birthday celebrations were driving him wild. After helping one young girl look for more books under the Madeline series, he had to make an exception. Just this once, and that would be it.

Even if he was under disguise, he desperately wanted to have just another brief conversation with her, especially that she’s a lot older compared to their last encounter. Doyoung witnessed her bloom from this imaginative young girl to a strong woman chasing after her dreams.

Like mother, like daughter.

He spotted her at a small bookstore to buy books for her classes and newly arrived ones from the States, very much interested in western literature. But upon seeing the peaked prices which were more than what she saved for, she put the book back on the shelf and gathered the ones she actually needed.

This was where Doyoung took it upon himself to offer his help. Staying long enough in the middle of the living and the dead, he was capable to turn visible.

“Stephen King, huh?” He inquired, scooting to her side and pulling out the book again to take a better look at it. He came across this book in his library, even if it was in English. “I see that you’re into horror. These books are in English though.”

Areum knew speaking to strangers is not a good thing, but if anyone reached out to her to talk about books, she can’t help but feel excited. “I’m interested in a lot of genres, and this book is pretty popular right now so I wanted to check it out. Besides, I’m reading more English books so I can become fluent one day.”

“You aren’t scared of the storylines?”

“I went through a life of hardships, sir. Nothing scares me anymore honestly.” Doyoung couldn’t help feel proud and sorry for her. Without questions, he led her to the counter and paid for all books despite her insisting not to.

“Sir, you really shouldn’t have. I can always come back for those books when I save up more.”

“It’s fine, really. With your taste in literature, you have a promising future as an author if that’s what you’re aiming for.” He complimented. Areum was frazzled at how spot on this stranger was, trying to convince him again.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t pay you back?”

“Pay me back by publishing your books.” He confidently stated, bringing out his wallet to pay the cashier. His astonishing kindness and encouragement for her are heartwarming, bowing with gratitude.

“Thank you,” She halted because she didn’t know his name.

There was no way Doyoung can disclose his actual name, so he just picked a random nickname some of the kids in the hotel who he read to coined for him. “I prefer giving people my nickname. It’s tokki.”

“Thank you, tokki. I’m Areum, Kim Areum.” She thanked him properly, struggling from carrying her things to shake his hand, but Doyoung signaled her not to.

“Nice to meet you, Areum.” He greeted back.

As Areum was more ready to part ways, Doyoung’s fatherly instincts activated due to the heavy box she held. Her dorms must be a bit far and it was already nighttime. Anything can happen.

“Excuse me, Areum. But do you mind if I help you with your books? It’s pretty late, so I just want to make you get back safe.”

Something in Areum was very willing to trust this man she just met. Sure, he was quite covered up, but it’s almost winter and maybe he didn’t want to catch a cold. Though, his intentions looked good. She’s heard stories about people getting robbed in these alleys, so she accepted his help.

Her dorms were a few blocks away, giving enough time to be acquainted with this man. Though he was the one mostly asking the questions and she answered them. She didn’t pry on it too much and went with the flow.

“Are you an only child in your family?”

“Yes. It’s also just me and my mom. I never got to meet my dad sadly. He died before I was born while battling in the Korean war.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” No matter how long it’s been since the war, the trauma of it all still haunted Doyoung.

“It’s been years so it’s fine. I found out recently that he risked his life to save his senior officer during a surprise attack from one of my uncles. If that isn’t bravery, I don’t know what is.”

“So you’re not mad at him for leaving?” He asked, hoping he didn’t cross boundaries either. He needed this closure.

“It was hard to accept at first. All my friends grew up with their actual fathers, and I felt outcasted. But there are just some things we can’t control, you know?  Besides, people always spoke of him highly and that makes me proud. Though,” She answered honestly, covering up the bitterness in her words in other not to disrespect him. “I’m pretty sure I saw him in a dream when I was younger.”

Doyoung’s heart leaped. So she may recall quite a bit. “Oh really? What was it like?”

“The only person I told this to is my mom. It felt quite unreal, honestly. I was around 7-8 years old at that time, and we were at a carnival, enjoying the attractions and stuff. Then we transitioned to this huge library where he read me a bunch of stories. One of them was Madeline, I believe. One of my favorites!”

Doyoung replays the fond memory in his mind. Time really flew by so fast.

“What a fun dream, it seems to be.”

Areum was elated at the best memory of her youth, smiling to herself. “It truly was. It felt like I was with him, you know. No matter how many times he told me he loved me there, I still respond the same way and that nothing has changed.”

“I love you too, Areum.” He mumbled quietly. That dream should not have been the only memory they have of each other. Neither of them deserved to be parted.

Soon enough, they arrived at the front doors of her dorm residence. Since it was strictly for women, she explained that she’ll carry the box from here on.

“Thanks again for the help, tokki. I’ll make sure to pay you back soon.” She spoke so casually because, for some reason, this mysterious man felt trustworthy. Her gut feeling may fool her, but she let it pass.

“Take your time, Areum. I wish you the best of luck.”

Before they went separate ways, something about her bitter words from awhile ago bothered Doyoung and he wanted to say something about it. Because looking into the far future, if he didn’t, he knew he’ll regret it and make moving on harder.

“Wait, Areum!”

Areum abruptly reacted to the shouts of her name, almost dropping the box. She faced again the mysterious tokki, who now had an awkward stance with his hand in the air waving at you.

“Yes, tokki?”

Compiling his thoughts, here goes nothing.

“This is quite random but your dad... I just know he loves you too. He’s also proud of you for being strong and intelligent. I hope you don’t forget that.”

Areum was baffled by his statement, but it was uplifting to hear that. Maybe this tokki guy was going through the same thing as her, so she didn’t want to judge too quickly. She was taught to never judge a book by its cover from you. By the quick blinking of her eyes, some tears dropped down to her cheek. She let out some sniffles on her way up to her dorm room, reassured that this stranger may just be correct. She heard what she needed to hear.

It’s been a long time since he reunited with his daughter, even if she’s fooled into thinking that the dream was just a dream. His status as a father was renewed. Even if he got a major scolding from Manwol upon his return at the hotel for ditching his shift.

“She blamed you in public? Oh no, my love.” You consoled your lover after he told you the tale.

A lot of iconic songs were released during this decade, so this dream accommodated it. It was set in a jazz bar, where all sorts of alcohol on display with assorted vinyl CDs by the platform at the end. Dimly lit with numerous empty tables and chairs, and it was only the two of you. Dressed to the nines for the occasion, your flimsy hands couldn’t stop playing with your hoop earrings. A definite staple while you swayed your hips to the beat of Superstition by Stevie Wonder.

Doyoung sat in one of the bar stools in a red v-neck top and flare pants, marveling at your physique and movements in that indigo romper. You could feel his fiery stare, your body flowing through the groove to capture him into your spell. The dream version of him always gets easily distracted when you act suggestive, especially when he isn’t in control physically. Only his words can he sort out.

Dancing towards him, you dragged his arms away from his seated position to lead him to the empty dance floor.

“Let’s dance off the stress, shall we?”

Pulling off the famous dance moves and grooving in freestyle, it was a blast. Both your young energies were in sync. From the funky beat, it shuffled into a slower yet soulful song. The unwinding mood could only mean that this dream was reaching its end. You took Doyoung’s arms again, placing one on your waist and the other interlocked with you. Taking the lead, you waltzed back and forth, twirling yourself in his arms.

Doyoung cracked a smile from the phone and in the dream, immersing himself in the lovely song. It was always played on the radio during the late-night shows, dedicated for the couples out there. With you, he could finally understand why couples request it every night.

“You are the sunshine of my life,” He sang along while feeling your heartbeat against his chest. “That's why I'll always stay around.”

“You are the apple of my eye,” You carried from where he left off, equally resonating with the lyrics. No matter how many times you’ve said or expressed your patience for each other, this song held a special place. It summed up everything you’re both fighting for.

“Forever, you'll stay in my heart.”

1980s

It came to Doyoung’s attention that there’s a new member of the hotel staff, and Manwol put him in charge of touring this new addition around and orienting them about the hotel rules. Considering he wasn’t busy, he went for it.

This person would be the replacement of Johnny, who finally passed through the afterlife in high spirits after his younger brother Mark took his rightful place as the heir of their family business. Originally, it was him, but his stepmother and stepbrother stabbed him alongside his father to get ahold of the power. Without proof, they led the business as she freely did, overworking Mark numerously and spending their money to their heart’s desire.

Doyoung couldn’t let this pass. Since Manwol hired a human manager back in the ‘70s named Kun to better facilitate human-related affairs for the hotel (taxes, bills, etc), he requested him to talk to Mark then introduce him to you.

Kun also made sure to inform you that this was Doyoung’s idea.

“This Johnny is the same Johnny that Doyoung talks about in my dreams? The one who brings the fun out of him every once and while?”

“That’s right, Ms. (Y/L/N). Due to the betrayal, he can’t move on until his stepbrother is taken down.”

The fact that Kun was a bridge to the two of you felt miraculous. Now and then, Doyoung tasked Kun to buy you flowers or coffee whenever they meet. Sometimes, he’ll ask him to send his letters to you too. In return, you replied to those letters, attaching pictures of you and Areum over time. He hung it up in his office, taking a look before every shift.

Kun didn’t mind being in the middle. While Doyoung gave her cases to work on, it makes it easier for him to wait for her. Doyoung was a guest first before being a member of staff, and as the human manager, he’ll make sure that he gets to move on too.

Even if you don’t accept cases from big companies, the touching way how Mark described his passed older brother persuaded her otherwise. He even opened up about watching his father and older brother get killed right in front of him. From there, he was held hostage for years and never told anyone about that night.

It was undoubtedly the biggest case in your career. Up until this day, everyone still talks about how complex and intense the battle was.

“Always finding a way to make justice prevail, Kim Doyoung.” You thought to yourself after gathering more evidence from Mark and Kun, working closely also with forensics and the police.

And that you did. With additional information on Johnny’s side, which helped find the empty puzzle pieces to prove his stepfamily’s guilt, they won the case. Life imprisonment and forced transferring of roles, Mark became the CEO. All those involved in hiding the truth got caught and fired from their positions.

You deserved your influential status, and due to your never-ending service, Doyoung found himself falling in love with you over and over again. Even from far away, you felt his connection and passion.

Currently, you were dealing with five cases, one of them being another request for Kun and Doyoung. It was for the murder of Yuta Nakamoto in the late 40s.

Being a migrant from Japan, numerous Koreans held grudges for their people. He was mistreated and disrespected, even if he had the most caring soul. He even found love, ready to get wed. But one normal evening after his job as a Japanese teacher, he was mobbed by Koreans and heartlessly killed. At first, he wanted vengeance. But after Manwol telling stories of souls burning into ashes when they get revenge, he changed his objective to watch the demise of all his killers, who became very influential people in Korean society.

Representing with you was his former lover, Sooyoung. No matter how many times she tried to appeal to the court in the past, no one paid attention because she was a woman and interracial relationships were taboo. Even if Yuta held a special place in her heart, she eventually got married to another man. In the beginning, she felt guilty, but after Yuta told her in a dream call that she shouldn’t be afraid to open herself up again, she never held back. And as a fellow woman who’s been ostracized, you sided with her.

She may not have her happy ending with Yuta, but it only felt right to avenge his wrongful death.

It’s a tough battle, these murderous men not owning up to their crime, and the public also discriminating the dead man by saying he deserved it. But you knew you could do it, even if it’ll take a while.

Back to the newbie, he was in his early twenties. He went by the name, Jaehyun. Just about to start his life, yet taken away just like that. Aside from being the next bartender, he has another position as the vinyl boy in the music section of the library. It came to Manwol’s attention that he wanted to pursue music when he was alive, listening to vinyl CDs or cassette players and taking singing and piano lessons growing up. While he figured out what he wants to do while moving on, he’d be in charge of organizing and playing music for the souls checked in. Sing even if requested, especially by the women who are charmed by his attractive looks.

He was a literal old soul, jazz being his favorite genre. Most of the time, he played Chet Baker or Frank Sinatra when it’s his shift at the bar. He was known for always showing his best and happy-go-lucky sides to everyone.

It took him a few years to start opening about his life, longer than most souls. But maybe because the trauma of it all stung. One night, when he, Doyoung, and Kun weren’t working, he mixed a few cocktails and completely fell off the radar.

“I was a part of a duo with one of my best friends, Hongseok. It was really fun to perform and make music with him, but then he suddenly got into drugs and had a ton load of groupies. I-I just couldn’t do it anymore with him if he wasn’t going to stop. Once I cut off ties with him, I was signed by a class A producer who loved my compositions. He even got me all sorts of opportunities to perform on TV, and I was so excited for it. But one week until I made my official debut, Hongseok reached out again with apologies, wanting to meet up so we can fix ties. I was hesitant, but I still give him the benefit of the doubt because we go way back….” He confessed, puffing out smoke from his cigarette and putting it down on the ashtray. Before he continued his story, he scoffed with profanities.

“That bitch. I fucking trusted him! I was too good to give him another shot. So after practice, he sent me an address to his apartment or so I thought. We were having drinks, just like old times. But something felt off feel when my mind started feeling hazy and I started coughing continuously because my stomach ached like crazy. He asked me if I was fine, and I told him I was. Then suddenly, baam!” He crashed his hands on the table, shocking the hell out of his two companions.

“Holy fuck, Jaehyun.” Kun cursed under his breath. Doyoung nudged him the shoulder to mind his language.

“The deities are watching you, Kun. Let Jaehyun-ie continue.”

So he did. “There I was, standing beside my dead body while Hongseok rummaged with surgical gloves through my bag to steal my notebook of songs. He planted cocaine on the table where I conversed with him, and also in front of my face. Beside my glass, he laid the vial of poison he used and called the cops. With fake tears, he cried on the phone saying that he came home to my dead body and a suicide note.”

Stillness between the three of them was filled with betrayal and disappointment. For a so-called friend, this must be the worst thing you can do to them. To lessen his suffering, Jaehyun brought back his actively lit cigarette and smoked it until all the tobacco was gone. Exhaling a dark grey smoke, he spat out.

“I-I couldn’t believe it, hyungs. I lost everything after making the wrong decision of seeing him. And now, he signed under that label that found me to “give honor to my talent”. How tragic that I suddenly took my life he’d say, oh bullshit! You took away my life because you were jealous!”

Kun decided to call it a night, requesting Yukhei who’s on duty to take Jaehyun’s upcoming shifts so he could calm down. Escorting his intoxicated figure out so the other guests won’t feel bothered, Doyoung contemplated if he wanted to forward another case to you. You’ve been getting so much workload lately, according to Kun, because your success rate is high and highly in demand.

“What happened to Jaehyun?” Manwol showed up from behind, sitting across him. “Did he finally tell his story?”

Doyoung mildly groaned, devastated by it. “He did, and it breaks my heart. He’s still so young, like me.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Manwol stirred the spare cocktail, ingesting it in one go. “Is it another case worth forwarding to (Y/N)?”

“If it helps Jaehyun move on, possibly. I know it’s hard to find staff these days, Manwol. Also, she’s stacked already. I don’t know if she’ll take it.”

She snickered, patting his shoulder. “You know if it’s from you, it becomes her priority. She loves you that much, you know.”

“I know, but I wish I could help her. In person. I would’ve been a lawyer and taken Jaehyun’s case if I were alive. Murder in the first degree, false reporting to the police, stealing, his persecutor is insane and still walking free.”

The fire of passion in Doyoung wasn’t new to Manwol, nodding as he spoke. He was capable of a lot of things, but the world just wasn’t ready to see it. She was more concerned at how the deities will react when he engages in human affairs again. Even if it helps a lot of ghosts move on, it’s highly discouraged to interfere with the living world. It’ll ruin the entire flow of the world.

Doyoung already knew what he got himself into, but it’s one of the few ways he still feels relevant. Always in service for anyone who needs it, dead or alive. If the deities take him away, it’s no joke that it’ll be a riot in the entire hotel.

“In that case,” Manwol’s piercing eyes scanned right at him, filling up his glass with vodka. Second to Doyoung, she grew a fond liking to Jaehyun. She never knew how much he’s been hiding during his stay. “Forward it no matter what. End his murderer’s career at all costs.”

Doyoung smirked, lifting his glass high to clink with hers then chugging it one go.

“I’ll investigate first with Kun to know more about Jaehyun’s life, then we’ll look for someone who wants to testify for Jaehyun to meet with (Y/N).”

Amid the craze and problems in the hotel, at least Doyoung was at ease with how successful his family. Areum became a well-known author for fairytales, got married, and had 3 kids of her own. She most definitely didn’t live down to Doyoung’s promise.

“Is he a nice guy?” Doyoung inspected the man who married his only daughter. It felt like yesterday they played around in the carnival room.

“He is, Doyoung. Intelligent and caring, nothing to worry about.” You calmed his shaking leg, resting your head on his shoulder while you watch the fireflies from the campfire set prepared by the deities.

“I’m just looking out for her, you know.”

“She most definitely does know, even telling stories about us to her kids. Our grandchildren.”

“It’s hard to believe that we’re technically old when we’re always young in these dreams.”

“Maybe it’s just you being used to your youth. Meanwhile, aging is beating my ass every day.” You joked, covering yourself up in the blanket you shared. Doyoung’s bottom lip jutted out, huffing at your mean comments.

“Yah, you take that back.”

“Make me.” You fired back, riling him up.

Doyoung in the dream attacked you by tickling your sides mercilessly. Your body uncontrollably arched back and forth, falling back to the blanket you sat at. He took the advantage to pin you down, gripping on your arms to the side. With his face near yours, you closed the gap with a cheeky kiss. His touch softened, allowing you to pull him lower by his collar. Your lips molded together in every movement, feeling his tongue lick your lower lip for entrance. You freely gave in, moaning filthily.

“Didn’t even have to test me like that, my love.”

How you wished this was longer, if it weren’t for the fast fading out, and morning has arrived again. A short-lived euphoria, yet it left your panties drenched under the covers. The arousal still ran in your veins.

“Kim Doyoung, you tease.”

Back to your real life, aside from bravely taking on controversial cases, there was a thrill in every case you did and it showed by your fast-paced talking and hand gestures. Whether you won or lost, mostly the former, knowing that you helped someone made your life more meaningful.

He often forgot how you’re a grandmother during your dream calls already as time flows differently within the living and the dead. They were the only way you can be youthful and energetic. But with your actual body, it began to weaken.

Early 1990s

Nature decided to take heavier measures on you physically. On one of the monthly visits to the doctor, she noticed something off with the checkup and tests. Especially in the chest area.

“Ms. (Y/L/N) (Y/N), I’m afraid that you have a growing lump in your breast.”

“Are you saying what I’m thinking?”

“If breast cancer is one of those though, then unfortunately yes.”

Areum was by your side that day, tearing up at her announcement. You, on the other hand, remained still and nodding at the truth. You’ve fought for a lot of things in your life, and you were so determined to beat this one.

Chemotherapy, medications, and scans are tiring and draining, but you managed to live for 2 more years. You’ve fully retired, and now and then, mentor the juniors with their cases. You’ve traveled to as many places as you can before the stages of cancer rose.

In your last months of life, you were bedridden in the most expensive hospital in Seoul, getting visits from Areum with her family, Jungwoo and Taeyong. As the latter served as definite friends to Doyoung, it was only natural to befriend them when they came into your life post-war. They supported Areum in any way they can too.  They’ve become a great company in your boring life especially in the hospital. Nowadays, Jungwoo loved sharing stories about his hyper grandchildren, who share similar traits to him, while Taeyong excitedly talked about his recent investment with a promising music company with the dream to debut talented individuals and go international in the long run.

“Mr. Lee Soo Man is dedicated to it! He hopes that next year, all his plans can start and be executed.”

“You’re always investing in start-ups, you know? You think this one will be bigger than the rest?”

“Music is universal, you know. Language barriers may be there, but music brings us together.”

Taeyong was always a delight to catch up with. However, you didn’t expect that conversation would be your last with him. A few days later, he suffered a sudden heart attack and passed. This was a sign that your time was coming. Your body falling more and more feeble every day as the disease fully took you over at night, the monitors always going on a high every so often.

It’s only a matter of time before you leave this life, and looking back, you’ve lived a tough yet productive life. Your daughter was happy and thriving in her career and family. You helped families and couples from their abusive households. You defended those with loved ones who were murdered, robbed, and lied to. You ticked off all you wanted to do beforehand.

Areum made sure to visit that night specifically as soon as she could. With your recent test results have been failing, her gut feeling kept insisting.

It’s a good thing she did.

Meanwhile, it was another day of work for Doyoung, just returning a bunch of books in their respective shelves after some teenagers left on the table. Before that, he bid Taeyong goodbye in the tunnel. It’s always nice to see a familiar face, so he couldn’t miss out on it. He shared any life stories he had with you, updating him about your state. Doyoung knew about it beforehand, and as selfish enough to look forward to it, it pained him to know you’re suffering. He only hoped you could fight through it.

“Doyoung-hyung!” Someone suddenly shouted, but he was shushed by an old lady reading her romance novel, who pointed at the sign that read “Keep quiet in the library”.

Doyoung was also annoyed, instantly nagging on the point person. “Kun! Can you read the sign? Jeez, this isn’t the first time so please-”

“(Y/N) is going off the monitor.” He blurted out. The news from one of the nurses he befriended buzzed through his phone. After finding out about his story, he wanted to help Doyoung especially when he was still alive. Doyoung may a part of the staff, but he’s still a guest. He dropped everything in his hands. Before he could race to the hospital, he changed into a specific outfit for this occasion.

This was it.

Areum was the only one by your side of your hospital bed, weeping due to your weak state. You didn’t want your other family members to witness this crucial moment. It stung that you’ll miss out on the futures of your grandchildren, but you were satisfied to just be a part of their lives. All this machinery trying to sustain your life served its purpose, but the illness you’re fighting was stronger.

“Mom....” Areum sniffled in her handkerchief, holding on to your boney hand. “I’m not ready for you to go.”

“Oh, Areum.” Your thumb caressed her soft palm as reassurance. “You grew up so well. An independent woman you are, you are so loved.”

“Mom, please....” She begged. “I can’t lose you too.”

You will never know how Areum held in her sorrow of not being able to grow up with her father. She hated the feeling of being fully abandoned. She wanted things and people to return to her, but she can’t make that choice. Being by her side all her life, losing you will be the hardest struggle she’ll have to face.

“Areum, you must understand...” You paused as a pang of pain in your chest stabs you. After a minute of enduring it, you continued. “...We are put on this world for a specific time. And if we’re called to leave, we must face it.”

She whimpered whilst holding on to your hand. She really thought you can get through this one like the rest, but your hair has gone, your body lost much weight, and your eyes lost their light.

“Mom, are you happy? You’ve fought through so much to get where you are. I can never do what you did.”

“Y-Yes, I am.” You stuttered, gracing a promising smile. “I had you, our families, and your father watching over me..”

The dreams you get on your birthday were fairytale-like stories that pushed Areum to become an author. She denied how unrealistic and supernatural they were at first. Another trait of Doyoung she got. However, when she noticed how wider your smiles are and energetic you get in the mornings after rather the feeling of distraught, she reckoned to believe they were something special. Despite knowing your love story and its downfall, she felt exhilarated at the things you and her dad did there. In a way, it brings him closer to her. But she still had that void.

“I envy you for that, mom. I wish I met him or at least came to me even if I least expected it!”

Oh, little did she know about that time in the bookstore back in the 70s. It was not coincidental; you and Doyoung planned it very well. You just played along to her complaint, alerted that this wasn’t your story to tell at this time. “Forgive your father just this once, okay? He never wanted this kind of fate for any of us. If one thing stayed constant in those dreams, it’s him always asking how you are doing.”

Her tears become uncontrollable, allowing herself to get puffy eyes and let it all out. “When you see him, please tell him I’m sorry and that I love him no matter.” “Oh, Areum. He knows that, so don’t worry about it.”

The clock was ticking for Areum before she’ll be asked to leave. With you bringing up her father again, she had one last question. Her courage to ask it was so little when she was young in fear you sulk and break down. It hurt her when the bad parts of your past tormented you.

“How much do you miss him?” The question put you in a point of self-reflection. The only person you’ve opened up to talk about him in detail was Areum. Even with your friendships with Taeyong and Jungwoo, there were some things you never disclosed with them. And never did they force you to answer because they can read you on the back of their heads: you’re still heartbroken, yet remained devoted to him.

“I miss him so much that even if this became my fate for accepting his notebook back in our university days, I would foolishly do it all over again. In those times he was no longer with us, it taught me to appreciate what and who we have in our lives because tomorrow is never guaranteed. From his impact, I learned to take care of myself again so I can take better care of you. I’m grateful you were born; he left a piece of him for me.”

“You’ve suffered so much, mom. I hope you can rest peacefully.”

“Thank you for never leaving my side, Areum.” A few tears escaped your eyes, infectious to your daughter’s gloom. “I love you.”

Meanwhile, Doyoung was right outside viewing you and Areum sharing your last conversation and goodbyes. As much as he looked forward to reuniting with you, he didn’t want to leave his only daughter alone. The deities should have shown her more mercy. Still invisible, he observed how Areum trembled when she heavily closed the door of your hospital room. Covering her sobs with her handkerchief, she took one last look through the small glass of the door. You dove into a deep sleep that would then be unawakened.

“I hope your next life is happier than this, mom, and you can cross paths again with dad and grow old with him too.”

Doyoung’s urge to show himself to his daughter to console her was overpowering him, but he restrained himself this time. A few hours later, your consciousness was faltering. Your five senses were losing touch one by one. Important memories of your long life played in your mind. Then your heart gave in and stopped beating. The doctors present there have pronounced you dead. The transition from your body to your soul watching it be covered by a blanket by the nurses was swift yet strange. You didn’t know where to go and what’s next. No book prepared you for this nor can you ask the doctors what to do. Standing there lost with so many questions, it only took someone’s enthusiastic calling for your name to soothe you down.

“(Y/N)!”

It hit you instantaneously that when your day comes, Doyoung would call for your name. Your old age and past illness really affected your memories. He was an honest man and kept to his word this time.

And there he was, just along the hallway.

This was no longer a dream.

This novel kind of exhilaration got you moving your feet, still sore and slow because you were still an old lady.

“Doyoung!”

You shouted back, over and over again before your boney hands slid open the door. At the same time, your old figure drastically and permanently transformed you back to your active twenties. Nothing physically hurt anymore and your energy was on an all-time high. Your room was the last on the floor, a dead end. The left side of the hallway was just a closed window pane.

When you stepped outside and turned to your right, there he properly stood. He wore the same suit and suspenders combination on the day he approached you on your bike. The actual soul of Kim Doyoung who was no longer behind the phone. No matter how many times he’s seen you from afar, it makes him lose his breath from the captivation. For once, he can see you without barriers.

You just realized how you were dressed back into the floral dress on the day you had your first proper conversation. It’s like you’re meeting each other again for the first time. The beeping sounds of the monitors, wheelchairs moving, and chitter-chatter exchanged by doctors went mute. Stunned, you couldn’t stop looking eye to eye at him, cherishing this special moment.

It finally processed to Doyoung that his patience and efforts paid off. In this journey of acceptance, while enduring its trials, it added up to this sweet result to be reunited with you. The adrenaline rush took control of your limbs, legs running to him on the other side.

As his arms widened for a hug, he spun and picked you around in the air. His arms firmly wrap around your waist while your head snuggled on top of his shoulder. You felt safe, warm, and alleviated. Once he put you back down, the overwhelming joy wasn’t keen to pull away from your lover. Doyoung’s lips somehow got closer to yours, your heart skipping beats and his familiar scent intoxicating your thoughts.

With Doyoung still having you wrapped in his arms, he took his awaited chance to close into your parted lips. The fluttering in your stomach was on overdrive, your entire body reacting immediately from his passion. One hand curled into a fist on the hem of his buttoned top while the other rubbed the back of his head. Your legs almost gave in, but with Doyoung’s strength, he held you tight. No previous kiss felt like this. You didn’t have to worry about getting caught by adults for such a provocative display of affection. Your roommate wasn’t going to splash water if she catches you getting frisky on campus. As for Doyoung, he didn’t have to get paranoid about what his classmates would say about their relationship. You were both in your own world for a while.

But wanting to catch a breather from his thrilling dominance, your lips hesitantly moved away first. You took your time to get lost in admiring his features. Wet, swollen lips, flushed cheeks, his dazed eyes, he was irresistible, to say the least.

This was how an almost 50-year build-up would end up to.

“My love, it’s really you,” You finally spoke, caressing your thumb on his flushed cheek. “You’ve been through so much.”

As lovestruck as he is, his pent-up tears streamed down instantly. Except they were tears of joy. All those years he held back.

“I’ve missed you so much, (Y/N). I’m just happy you’re finally here with me.”

He wasn’t joking when he said that the main lobby alone was exquisite after walking through the city. Aside from Kun, that’s where he introduced you to other staff he worked with, such as Jeno, Jaehyun, and the boss herself, Manwol.

“This boy stayed very loyal, you know?” She commended Doyoung. It was a rare thing with her cold-hearted and aggressive personality. “He read to a lot of kids, taught some of them too, and recommended great books for the souls to read. He listened to a lot of souls who wanted justice then forwarded them to you so they can cross the other side.”

An honor to hear from the owner herself, you glanced at Doyoung with so much love. Such a giver than a receiver.

Beside Manwol was someone whom you aspired to meet. Unfortunately, you never met the other boys you’ve helped, so this was a great chance to see at least one before moving on. Hearing about his case and the treachery of it, you made sure to work on it before you retired, eventually passing it on to one of your trusted juniors. So far, his side was winning and that’s all you wanted.

“Jeong Jaehyun.” You held on to his clasped hands as he bowed to you.

“Attorney (Y/L/N). I’m so grateful for what you’re doing for me.”

“Oh, just call me (Y/N). By the way, your side is winning, my dear. Your younger brother Sungchan is committed to clearing up your name, and that evil Hongseok will rot in life imprisonment for his crimes.” You updated him. Without self-restraint, his arms gather you in for a hug. Jaehyun wasn’t much for affection, but this felt like the right circumstance. In return, you hugged him back.

“Thanks to you, Johnny and Yuta are resting in peace.”

“And you are next, Jaehyun. My junior taking your case is topnotch, so you’re bound to get what you truthfully deserve.”

After sharing such a heartfelt moment, you asserted your attention to Jeno. Not going to lie, you’ve looked forward to meeting this boy the most. He was there with Doyoung from the very beginning.

“Doyoung-hyung gets giddy after he makes a call, and tells me everything that you’ve been up to.” Jeno joined in. “He gets grumpy though too, so I like pestering him around to light him up. Oh, I’ll never know what you see in him, (Y/N).”

That gave him a joking slap on the shoulder by Doyoung, signaling to cut it out.  

“Hyung!” He fakely cried, hiding his face behind Jaehyun’s shoulder.

You suppressed a laugh, eventually sputtering out like an engine. Doyoung sighed, failing to redeem himself. But it’s alright. A simple peck from you on his cheek got him all flustered.

“Aish, take your romantic shenanigans when you’re in your room, not in my damn lobby.” Manwol cringed, the evident love bug getting on her nerves. “Alright, everyone. Get back to work!”

Checking in your room was an experience. Since you’ve been to numerous places through the dream calls, there was one main thing you’ve missed to do with Doyoung. As soon as he lifted you by your thighs and roughly shoved his tongue down your throat, you were in for a heated evening. This dominant side of Doyoung when it came to sex was completely fresh. After diving into more erotica over time, he learned about visual porn through Johnny and Jeno. You can say that he studied it very well.

“Almost 40 years of waiting, (Y/N).” He trapped you from above, sliding one of his hands to your bare breasts until it landed on your clothed core. Rubbing up and down your clit in a torturously slow place, he smirked at your desperate whines. Your breaths turned heavy, soaked by his actions. “Remember when I told you to brace yourself back then?”

“Shit, Doyoung...”

“Shush love, I’m in control now. So be a good girl for me, alright?” He growled in your ear, sucking on your soft spot on your neck. You obeyed that night, unbuttoning his shirt impatiently only to reveal his toned abdomen then lowering his crotch to give it a tight squeeze.

He hissed against your neck, pushing your panties to the side and sliding in your wetness.

“You are asking for it now, love.”

A steamy night it was, making up for all those lost years.

The following day, the struggle to walk was real. Jeno even pointed out your limping when you were roaming around the library Doyoung worked at. You never had a younger sibling, but he acted like one. So you punched him in the shoulder to shut up. “Jeez, you’re both so physical. Let me live!”

“Jeno, you’re dead. Don’t say nonsensical things.”

You learned how this hotel’s main purpose was to guide and fulfill the last wishes of ghosts in the living world before moving on. When Jeno asked you if you still have unfinished business, you realized that there is one thing left. Even if you completed your bucket list, that one thing is only possible through the hotel. You and Doyoung sat across Manwol, monitoring your shared dream call like she always did.

“Is this really the only thing you want to do here, (Y/N)?” Positively nodding, she gave you the signal to lift up the phone.

Areum found herself in an unfamiliar forest nearby a river during the day. Even she’s always like playing outside with nature in her childhood years, this location didn’t ring a bell. In fact, she was physically back to being that young girl with the same mature mind in this dream.

She wasn’t a vivid dreamer like yourself, forgetting them as so as she woke up. Even in that “dream” with her father, there were so many gaps. So for this one time, she can fully grasp her surroundings. This dream must have a purpose, she wondered.

While she followed the path that the dream assumed for her to take, she then clearly caught a glimpse of a younger you at the end of that path. Running around and laughing in the grass.

“Mom!” She called out, moving at a faster pace. It’s a good thing this dream brought her back her agility.

At the end of the path, it unveiled you lying down on the grass. Wearing in a dainty dress that reminded her of the 50s, there was an unfamiliar young man beside you. His head face planted on the grass because you pushed him off your body when he tried to tickle you.

It turned out that she arrived at your favorite spot with Doyoung. She’s only heard stories of things you’ve done and talked about her, but due to the war, their spot was devastated. Soon after, it turned into a small condominium building overlooking the river.

“Areum!” You squealed cheerfully to hear her much younger voice. She tackled you in a hug, and you still naturally felt it from where you sat.

“My sweet child,” You cooed in her, patting her back. “How are you?”

“It’s been difficult, but I’ll get by in time.” That was the first thing she managed to say, the grief being very much fresh. No mother wants to be separated from her child, and you weren’t exempted. But that is how life works: you come then you go. The truth tends to hurt.

It was obvious to Doyoung that you were still saddened by leaving Areum, taking this opportunity to give you space and finally interact with his daughter. No disguises nor distance. While the most important women in his life are still hugging in the dream, he pulls himself off from the grass and brushes away some leaves from his hair.

“Areum, I see you paid me back by having top-selling books for children.”

Areum peeked from your shoulder to check who the other man was by your side talking to her. Once he was clean from dirt and leaves, there was the only person he resonated with her. From pictures and stories shared by you, the actual man was with her.

Her actual father was in this dream with her.

“Dad!” She abruptly pulled away from you to approach her father for a bigger hug. You don’t blame her for that, she deserved to see her father even for a bit.

Years of having that empty void only for her biological father, she could care less at this very moment

Doyoung has never cried in a dream call with you, however, this long-awaited moment with his daughter resulted in him softly bawling while feeling her hugs from the chair. He’s proud and at peace to move on not just as your lover or a passionate university student, but as a father.

In their moment of content, only there did it make complete sense to Areum at the unusual memory during the ‘70s at the bookstore wasn’t random. It proved that he really did his best to reach out to her in any way he could.

“This whole time, you were the mysterious tokki. I just thought it was a coincidence. I’m so sorry, dad, that I didn’t notice you.” She sulks. Doyoung in the dream pats her back while lovingly rubbing the nape of her head.

“Oh, Areum. Don’t feel bad. I just wanted to see how much my little girl became independent and studious.” He replies, comforting the disheartened child. “I read all the letters you sent me during my birthday. I was touched then and touched now for this moment. I am proud of you, my daughter. And my love for you never changed.”

The affirmation in his words put Areum in a state of joy, rekindling that spark from the 70s. “I love you, dad.”

Your last mission in this world was to have a special outing with your complete family. Regret was always prevalent in the past, wanting to do this and that but never pushed through. But not in this dream. Just the three of you, happy and carefree from it all.

Unfortunately, Manwol just gave a hand signal that your time was almost up. Time flies by so quickly when you’re fully immersed in something you’re enjoying. Doyoung wasn’t capable to bear the bad news, but with you by his side, you helped him.

“Areum, it’s time for us to go.”

Areum sighed, reality seeping back into the situation. One sleep isn’t enough to make up years of loss. However, she still managed to remain positive in those circumstances. “I wish things worked out differently for our family, but who knows what our next lives will take us?”

In an instant, the two of you in the dream gave your daughter a big group hug. One she’s always yearned for. It’s moments like this where you mustn’t take anything for granted with your family.

“I’m happy you’re reunited with each other, mom and dad. Rest well.” She whispers with a smile, feeling fulfilled. She can grace the living world without wondering how things would be like with a complete set of parents anymore. This dream call successfully filled that empty void in her heart.

Once you’ve bid your final farewell and hung up the phone, you and Doyoung can say the same. A little bittersweet, but it lightened all the burdens in your hearts. The both of you can ultimately rest peacefully and move on.

The timing was perfect for Kun to inform you that the car taking you to the bridge leading to the afterlife was ready.

Jeno, Manwol, Kun, and Jaehyun didn’t want to miss out on this moment, waving farewells to you both. This lifetime may have taken you away from each other physically for a long time, but you still held on to each other. Most people gave up, though it’s not wrong either. It’s better to let go rather than holding on sometimes.

But the both of you were different, something, not even the deities didn’t expect. It’s only up to them to decide if they’ll give you another chance to be together and relive a longer life. A very rare sight indeed. To be granted or not, your story set a standard.

That a love so strong is so patient it endured all the challenges and stress.

“On to the next life, Doyoung?” You asked him, leaning against his shoulder as the car drove under the tunnel. All at the end of it was merely a white sky, where a long bridge awaited them.

“Make sure you wait for me this time.” 

[obeymeluv]

Quick! Kiss Me! [Part 3 - Mammon]

Same rules apply from Part 2: thoughts are italicized and bolded. May be slightly NSFW because the boys have a crush on you and such. If anyone has suggestions for Asmo’s part or Belphie’s, I’m down to hear it. I kind of have one for Belphie but I feel it’s a little cliché.

Also, I’ve logged back in and started playing Obey Me! since I have a three day weekend and the “Are You Kidding Me?!” event is making me want to write those baby headcanons. Might do that next.

Mammon:

You’d been following a buzzing, bubbling sensation around the house. It was enough to make your teeth rattle at points and you wondered if one of the brothers were using shadow magic to stay on the fringes of your vision (or just out of it). Sometimes it would feel like you were right on top of it, your whole body feeling like loose change in a can, and just as quickly it would stop. The cold wash of going the wrong way was a welcome reprieve.

Exhausted, feeling like you’d lapped the house several times, you dragged yourself back to your bedroom. It wasn’t very romantic but at this point you’d had it! The only thing your poor brain could think of was texting them one by one and just kissing them. If you were honest with yourself, you wouldn’t even need to text all seven. If you were really honest with yourself, you just wanted to text one of them.

And he was in your bed, cuddled into your pillows and half-wrapped in your sheets like he was supposed to be there.

Was he asleep?

You resisted the urge to stomp your foot or startle Mammon awake. His jacket was tossed haphazardly over your small desk chair but his sunglasses had been placed with care on your nightstand. Mammon? You placed on knee on the bed, planning to crawl towards him from the opposite corner. Mammon tended to wake up swinging and flailing; you remembered Belphie yanking him off of “his” spot on the couch but not before he’d fluffed his pillow and took a defensive stance.

Your little brain tap was enough to make him snort and stretch but not open his eyes. Tanned limbs dragged themselves across twisted sheets. He sounded like he’d mumbled something but you couldn’t be sure. You were sure he’d scooped up another pillow to stuff his face in and squeeze to death.

Was that a giggle? Mammon gave a contented little hum, snuggling his face into the new, cool pillow. Mammon! you tried again. It was weird to speak with your brain. Could you raise your voice just by thinking it? You froze in the middle of the bed, Mammon snapping up with a slow blink and a confused slur (and a huffy demon gurgle).

If he wasn’t hugging the pillow, he probably would’ve swung his arms out or fallen out the bed and taken half the sheets with him. Mammon blinked again, his white brows furrowing as he scanned the room. He leaned forward and you barely remembered how utterly blind he was as you watched the sleep lift from blue-yellow eyes.

“So who was the lucky—“ Mammon started off in his fake ‘I’m not interested’ tone but the words died out before he could make them any more indifferent. “Your lips are still sealed shut.” he lurched forward, your noses practically touching. “Your lips are still sealed shut!” he whispered again breathlessly, the quickness of his words matching the excited pulse in his throat.

Mammon’s heart squeezed in his chest. His mouth dried and suddenly he couldn’t think of anything to say. This wasn’t how he thought your first kiss would be but Diavolo be damned if he’d turn it down! The demon could barely filter his desire for you, trying to keep the YES! GIMME! KISS ME, KISS ME! in his head and out of yours. His face started to heat up when the pact mark on your shoulder glowed a soft golden color, painting both of your faces in a candlelight-like glow.

The tiniest part of his awed brain could feel his mouth slipping open in shock. You were a vision with golden highlights. Golden highlights from his pact mark! It made him want to take you on a fancy restaurant date and see it again.

Mammon? you were waiting on him now, ever so careful. So considerate. That’s what he loved about you. You put up with a lot of his walls and his loud behavior but deep down you knew. He knew you knew, and he was glad you kept his secret.

The people who made the loudest echoes were often the most fragile. He was a giving heart that had been corrupted against his will, and he had not totally hardened with the fall. You saw those scars and chips and cracks and somehow healed all of it with your human hands. With your smile. Your touch.

Hell, you just saying his name could wipe centuries of suffering from his mind.

“Was I your first choice?” Mammon’s voice turned raspy and tight. He couldn’t bear to hear you say you’d gone to one of the others first. He’d seen you going from room to room, slinking around the house in a way only the second-eldest could master. Years of trying to slip out past curfew and make off with a few odds and ends no one would miss without getting caught had its perks. Watching you touch doors and turn halls gutted him and drove him to seek refuge in your room.

He’d consoled himself amongst your pillows—your scent—and tried not to cry. Even if you didn’t choose him, he’d still have you as a friend. Maybe an in-law. That didn’t stop the cold twisting in his guts or the burning anguish in his chest as he realized over and over that he was one of seven. The other six were better than him, he feared. He was just scummy, scummy Mammon.

You don’t think you are? You tilted your head as you looked at him, hands coming up to comb gently through his hair and massage the bottom of his ears. Your hands smoothed down his neck, drawing him into a hug that was just…very you. Comforting and genuine and wholesome. He felt it first physically, then emotionally as your pact mark burned a little brighter.

You dummy, it was so light, so teasing and gentle that Mammon couldn’t help but smile as you cupped his face and brought his lips up to yours. “Of course you’re my first choice. You’re my first man, aren’t you?”

Mammon realized you said that with your mouth--your open mouth—and he exploded into a rolling yayayayaya victory warble. His eyes were a molten yellow, almost as bright as Diavolo’s (maybe brighter). Tears beaded in his eyes and Mammon blinked them away, stuffing his face into your neck as he tackled you to the bed. A burst of heat rolled over you as his horns came out a hot skin touched yours, the demon greedily snuggling into like he’d finally found his home.

He was scenting you with all his snuggling and ‘settling’ but you didn’t mind, patting his back and running your fingertips across the seams in his black jacket. In all his ‘settling’ you’d been turned onto your side and scooped up by him. Mammon locked his arms around you, feet tangling with yours. He’d tucked you under his chin to keep you away from his horns. “I can’t believe you took so long!” he whined, fingers playing with your hair, “making me wait like that! I’m a busy guy, you know?”

“I can take your place if you’re so busy!” you saw a hint of Asmo in the doorway and probably Levi behind him before Mammon’s wing blocked your view. They’d been called by the noise Mammon made earlier.

“Get lost, the lot of ya!” Mammon flapped his free wing at them. He hugged you closer and you briefly wondered if this what a dragon did with their hoard. You laughed at the thought. “This is my human! And my human is spending time with their first man!” he’d made a little tent out of his wing, peeking down at you with pride and love and a little hesitancy that begged you to back him up because his embarrassment was outweighing his ability to run his smart mouth.

You responded by kissing his chest, little kitten kisses that climbed his throat and jaw and could definitely be heard with demon ears. Popping out from just under his wing, you pecked his lips. His nose just to catch him off guard. “It’s very personal time.” you teased, rubbing his shoulders as his wing unfolded to show you off, sitting happily atop your man.

There were scowls and little demon grumbles you’d never be able to understand, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t even hear them over the sound of Mammon’s purr.

[babytaes]

The Kickback

summary: What happens when your long-life crush's secret is discovered? In hopes of not wanting him to find out, what do you do... nothing.

pairing: dk x female reader

genre: fluff, slice of life, crack lol.

warnings: profanity

word count: 3k

a/n: today is my birthday and I wanted to share this one that has been in my drafts for so long. this campus life is stressful but I’m finding time to upload here and there. I hope you enjoy and have a great day/night. Much love from Babytaes! :) Also I really didn’t read this over sooo... if it doesn’t make sense. Take it up with corporation. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Dear diary, I saw my crush today. I saw him in the living room after my brother invited him over with another friend. It's not as if I'm scared of him. I've spoken with him numerous times. I mean, I'm almost fluent in his language, lol. Seeing him and hearing his boisterous laugh was still entertaining. I'm wondering if he'll be at the kickback this weekend; if so, maybe I'll have the bravery to approach him. Okay, goodbye journal, love y/n.”

Your life consisted of short, insignificant interactions with him; however, when you had a crush, life was exciting and unpredictable. Since you're so near to him on a daily basis, your crush increased exponentially as you couldn't control your intrusive thoughts.

Yes, you did think of him, probably 25/8. It's not like you didn't know him, but you only knew the head version of him. And we all know they could be two different people. So the only thing left to do is keep it secret.

It's impossible for your secret to come out when you're the only one who knows about it. Right? Unfortunately, this isn't a movie, and your secret was revealed, and the perpetrator was none other than your arch-nemesis, Boo Seungkwan.

Okay, not quite that far, but you and him frequently collided because you and him could never agree on anything. He's just Boo, and he has his own behavior category.

He was the second-to-last person you wanted to find out about, after your crush, of course. From this point on, your life was not going as planned.

Your secret would never be revealed to Lee Seokmin, and you would do anything to protect it.

“What are you doing?” You leapt to your feet as you hurriedly closed your diary, terrified of prying eyes.

You rolled your eyes and stuffed your journal into a drawer with random papers, saying, "Shit, why don't you ever knock."

“Well, this is my shared dorm, and you're basically free living here,” he chuckled. You gave him a sidelong glance.

He was right.

“Is that a way you treat your twin? Is it now.”

He strolled away, completely oblivious to your yelling, and into the kitchen.

“Shut up, and get your ass out here we have to go shopping for the kickback. If you’re not out in 10 I’m leaving your ass.”

Great sibling love, what more could you ask for.  As much as you know that this is the way he expresses his love, you still got up and started getting ready for the day despite his warning.

Amidst your constant disagreements with him, you still loved him. The only problem was that you had to keep your love interest hidden from him. You could see it now and the big brother trying to protect and all that annoying shit.

You were old enough to take care of yourself and you didn’t want unruly men to ruin something that you wanted for so long.

“Coming, if you leave me, I'll tell Mom.” And I think we can all agree that I am the favorite twin.” As he slammed the fridge door shut, you could hear his huge scoffs.

You hurriedly grabbed your purse and beanie as you dashed for the door, laughing at his tantrums. He had a habit of leaving you behind.

We will not speak of March 5, 2017.

“Hey, wait up,” you said as you ran to his car and jumped in before him, grabbing the aux before him.

He started the car and sped out of the dorm parking lot on his way to the store, saying, "You're such a pain in the ass."

“Oh, don't act as if you don't love me.”

“Whoever said I did must have lied to you. Mingyu laughed as he accelerated through Seoul's crowded streets.

The jokes, the laughter, and the love were all part of the experience of living with one of the biggest Kpop groups.

You wouldn’t have it any other way!

While listening to your playlist, the song "Come to You" perfectly complemented the mood.

You smiled as you passed many streets and watched the busy lives of many different people. You could say you had an imaginative mind.

We arrived at the store a long way down the road, grabbed one of the carts, and proceeded to a separate aisle of the store.

Buying stuff was always expensive with a party of 13 and more friends on the way. Almost everything had to be doubled, and the meat had to be tripled. When throwing a party, everyone is required to provide a dish.

You didn't seem to mind; after all, you weren't paying, so you just chilled on the cart while you watched Mingyu placed the goods in neatly.

You told Mingyu to grab a specific chip as you walked to the chip aisle, and he furrowed his brow.

“What are those? I've never seen them before.

"Dokyeom likes them," you blurted out without a second thought. As you mentally processed what you had said, you stared at him with wide eyes.

Shit.

“When they're not there, Dokyeom and Soonyoung get upset.” You shook your head and scooted by him, tossing two bags into the overflowing shopping cart.

“Oh-okay I guess you can get them.”

As you pushed the cart toward the cashier, you mentally slapped yourself in the face. You were certain that you would not crack.

The ride home was silent as the only noise was the continuous taps from Mingyu's fingers on the wheel.

Mingyu called wonwoo on his phone as he drove up to the dorm and asked him to help with the groceries.

As you heard Mingyu pout over the phone, he refused, and not even minutes after, wonwoo is strolling down the driveway on his way to the car.

“You shouldn't even have picked up I know I wouldn't"  Wonwoo pushed your shoulder and chuckled at your humor. “I know”

“Heyyy I'm right here,” Mingyu began to sulk as he observed his sister speaking without him.

You and wonwoo both chuckled as you gathered your belongings and began walking away from Mingyu.

---

The days went by slowly as you reached the door. It was time to leave the house. You grabbed a jacket and purse. Today, the boys went to Hybe for a quick practice session before heading out for the weekend.

Because you are such a good friend and thoughtful person, you decided to buy them a few drinks as a gift. It wasn't anything special, you didn't want to see anyone, noo.

It took some time to order everything, especially with the large number of 13 items. Since you've known each other for most of your lives, the drinks on the list haven't changed. Ice Americanos and Frappes were the most popular drinks.

As soon as you arrived at the Hybe building, you swiftly grabbed the bag containing the drinks and proceeded to their floor. You finally made it to their practice room after thanking the employees for their assistance.

Slowly pushing the door open, you drew the attention of almost everyone as they turned to face you. As a number of them raced over to you and took the beverages from you, smiles crept across their faces.

As they sipped their drinks, the room was filled with thank yous and hellos.

The voice of an angel said, "Thanks again, y/n." He gave you a short smile before returning to his practice. Oblivious to people around you, words spilled out.

“Fuck, he's so attractive.”

“Whose good looking?” As you slowly turned around, you heard a voice speaking to you from behind you.

Fuck

It's Boo Seungkwan. He smiled at you as he grabbed a drink from your hand. He cocked his head as he sipped it, and his eyes widened.

“Don’t tell me you said dokyeom is good looking, no fucking way.”

As you coughed to relieve the high tension in the air, you started to mentally sweat.

“That's insane, I said the room was in good condition," you said as you slapped his shoulder and shook your head.

Come on, y/n, that didn't even make sense.

“You know you're not going to fool me, y/n?” Afraid that someone would find out, you dragged him into a back room and locked the door behind him

“Shit..shit..shit. If you tell anyone, I swear I'll -

Laughing, before raising his eyebrows after taking a sip of his americano, he cut you off.

"You're right, this is important information. But you already know that I'll keep my mouth shut about the situation. I don’t even know what we’re talking about right now.”

Seungkwan heard dokyeom announce that practice had resumed as the door opened. Before he left, he smiled at you and waved goodbye.

“Y/n and dokyeom in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. As you were about to leap across the couch to silence him, he jumped up and ran out of the door laughing.

All of a sudden, your mind was filled with confusion and paranoia.

It became increasingly difficult to watch them practice as the session progressed. Your thoughts were not positive, and your attitude was slowly deteriorating.

Imagining the worst-case scenario. You paced in the back room when you heard a knock at the door. As you mentally prepared yourself, it caught you off guard. While walking side by side, Hansol and Seungkwan were whispering.

“Did they know?” You didn’t want anyone to find out so you ran, and didn’t stop running. To avoid society, you hurried out the door after saying a quick goodbye to the boys.

The goodbyes were not even heard as you hurried out of the Hybe parking lot without looking back. In a small group, information spreads quickly. And he was bound to find out.

Flushed and worried, you staggered into the dorm room. You knew your secret was going to get out eventually. In the case where Hansol and Seungkwan knew, Joshua is likely to know.

And since Joshua is close to the older boys, Seungcheol and Jeonghan know. The news would then spread to Hoshi, and then the entire performance team would be in the know.

The only remaining candidates are Mingyu and dk. If Mingyu finds out, it's game over for you at that point.

There was no point of living any more. Having completed a full loop of the house, you had come to your room for the final time. You slowly melted to the ground and fell out.

Dokyeon is more likely to know if Mingyu knows.

"What went wrong?" Unable to control yourself as you rolled around the floor, you erupted into a tantrum.

You sat up and shook your head, "I'll just have to leave the country," you said. "Man, you're so smart. Your plan y/n is fantastic."

You ran to your room, grabbed your suitcase from your closet, and began tossing things into.

No need to pack everything since you were only going to be gone for a year. As soon as your adrenaline slowed down, you began packing.

(A few hours later)

You were relieved when your clothes fit into your luggage when you had finally done packing. You were on your way now, and as long as it wasn't here, everything was good.

“Ah, I figured it out; now let's book it.”

When you approached the door, you unlocked it, and we were greeted with a pleasant surprise.

You walked up to the door and opened it, where you were greeted by Mingyu and his gang. Outside the door, you could see him, hao, dk, and wonwoo. They stared at you as they looked you up and down, perplexed as to why you appeared to be departing.

“Um, what is going on and where are you going?” Mingyu reacted with a rejoinder of his own.

Your throat felt as though it was clogging up, and you began sweating furiously under your armpits. Thank god for hoodies.

“Well, I was simply going to visit a friend's house,” you explained.

You knew he wouldn't believe you; he knew most of your friends, and they didn't live that far away for you to be carrying that much.

“First, that's a lie, and second, I need to speak with you, so your "buddy" will have to wait.” You sighed and closed your eyes.

Your escape had to wait.

Mingyu took your suitcase and slid it near the door, while the other members shuffled awkwardly into the room. While the other lads sat in the living room, Wonwoo went to his room.

“Maybe I could escape now?”

“What did you say y/n?” minghao said as he glanced at you.

You waved your hand in front of them and did a walk of shame to your room as you physically and mentally prepared yourself for whatever Mingyu had to say.

So much for your crush now.

Mingyu sat on the edge of your bed, arms crossed, staring at you.

“Sit down, he patted the bed on your side before lightly coughing.

"Some rumors have been going around, so I wanted to clear the air."

Seeing what he was about to say made your heart race, and you couldn't take it any longer. Does anyone else hear their loud banging, could Mingyu hear it?

You leapt to your feet and shouted at him before apologizing on your knees.

What a sight to see, a grown ass woman on her knees apologizing to her twin brother.

“I apologize; I should have told you first, but I was afraid you'd tell him. That's why I kept it a secret and plus dating a member of seventeen. That's dangerous enough-“.

Mingyu's "WHAT" cut you off.

You came to a halt as he got up, slowly staring up at him.

“Wait, weren't we discussing my crush on Dokyeom or something else?” Worries began to creep in as sweat began to accumulate on your brow.

“What the fuck, you have a crush on do-?” you exclaimed as you jumped to your feet and tackled Mingyu to the ground.

“Don't say it so loudly; he'll hear you.” As Mingyu began to pace around the room, as he pushed you off of him.

You could see his anger as he panicked, and his small rage tantrum was truly uncomfortable because he couldn't communicate his ideas to you because he was afraid of his companions' sensitive ears.

He pointed to the door and said, "Wait, so you do have a crush on him." You sighed, shaking your head.

As he walked away from you, he had another outburst.

Everything is now turning to shit, this was your only chance.

“I have to escape” you said as you dashed out the door and to your suitcase. Mingyu was standing behind you, staring at you in terror.

It wasn't in the plan for you to fall on him, but it was still nice. Focus y/n.

“I’m sorry, dokyeom; it was my fault. I didn't realize you were there. “Are you okay?” As you extended your hand to him, you pushed yourself off of him.

“Yeah, I'm OK, are you okay?” he asked. You've had quite a tumble.”

“Yeah I’m good, I live with a clumsily brother so I’m fine”

“Hey!"

You swiftly let go of each other and placed your hands behind your back as you became embarrassed.

“Hey, Seungcheol texted the group chat and said he wants to go out to eat. He said whoever can come.”

The boys instantly got ready as they wanted to eat, food is a great scapegoat. As you saw them exit the dorm, you took a step back and found your way back to your room.

“Is leaving still an option?” you murmured into your pillows, plopping your exhausted body on your bed and overthinking life.

---

You rolled over and looked at the clock, which reads 9:30 a.m.

You turned over in your bed, unable to yell, and trudged to the bathroom to make yourself presentable.

“What have you gotten yourself into, y/n?” You stripped off your clothing and stepped into the hot water after turning on the shower.

You didn't spend much time in the shower, but today you were engrossed in how your plan had devolved into this ordeal.

Resting your head on the tile as the hot water traced down your back, you contemplated on what the HELL you were going to do.

*BANG BANG*

“Y/n hurry up, we have to prepare.”

Hearing Mingyu's voice drew you back to reality as you turned off the water and got out of the shower, unlocking the door and letting him in.

“Hey, no snarky remark?” he said as he watched you walk to your room with your head down. You ignored him as you closed the door and prepared for the party.

It didn't take long for your calm disposition to be noticed, since you were the outspoken one. Even if you tried to fake it, it didn't work out.

You grinned as you walked through the background of Seungcheol and Jeonghan shared housing, looking at the celebration.

There were groups of people near the pool, at the grill, and even by the chairs, as you could see.

“Hey, bring the food inside; I'll take the meat to cheol,” mingyu said, shaking your head as you picked up the bags and headed to the kitchen, where you recognized some familiar faces.

“Y/nnnnnnnnn, heyyyyy, I’ve missed you.” When you saw her, you put the bags on the counter and hugged her, smiling into her embrace.

“It's great to see you again, yeji; how are you and the rest of the group doing?” Are the others here?” As she led you back outside, she interlaced your hands in hers.

You saw dokyeom and a few other people descend the steps before you left, as he waved and gave you a quick glance.

As you reach for a drink from the cooler, your heart begins to race. Something had to be turned off if you wanted to make it through the night, and this was the only way.

You took a sip and coughed loudly as you followed Yeji to the poolside.

It was going to be a long night for you.

---

As you and a group of individuals began to dance uncontrollably, the effects of the alcohol in your system began to show as you staggered to the grill.

“HeEeeyyYY, Wheeeere d'ya think yeeeeer goin’?” you slurred, jabbing a finger into seungcheol’s back

The other members laughed as they glanced at you, plainly detecting your intoxication.

“I forgot how drunk you can get, so why don't you take a break,” your overprotective brother says, making you scream within.

He always did this.

Gerroff me!” you said. “I’m ash sober ash ’m gonna git. And nuffink I - wait wait wait - nuffink you can do ‘boutit.” As you ambled back to the kitchen without so much as a hiccup in their direction, they laugh.

As you struggled to reach the door, you fell forward and were grabbed by a hand. As he lifted you from your imminent doom, his hold felt warm. With your eyes enlarged, you focused on the individual and stared at his face.

As you grabbed on to him, your words tumbled out of your mouth, “Ohmygoshimsosorry.” He drew you closer to him by taking your hands in his.

Saying your heart was racing was an understatement, it was literally pounding out of your chest. You were hand in hand with your crush, who you believed was exceptionally attractive and talented, and you wished he knew more about your sentiments or could somehow fill them.

But you know no huge idol like him would go for you. Feeling that made you sober up real fast as you felt your arm being pulled upstairs, you had no idea where you were going but it looked like someone's room.

Dokyeom eased open the door as he sat you on the bed and went to get some water from a little fridge. He handed it to you and sat next to you.

“Thanks”

“No problem, also I've been trying to talk to you all night but you appear to be occupied.”

As you took a sip of water, your heart began to beat faster; “waitttt, we donthavetotalk. Let’s dance! As he chuckled at your erratic movements, you began to wander around the room, pulling your hands into yours.

The alcohol was definitely making its way out of your system.

As he spun you around, his body in tune with the music, the bass of the song could still be heard. Even though this felt like a dream you didn’t quite care at the moment. Was it because you'd finally met the boy from your dreams, or was it because he wanted to meet you in person?

Your connection with him got stronger by the second, as did your heartbeat, which began to rise steadily with it. You couldn't keep stalling any longer; you needed to listen to what he was saying.

“I think I'm sober up for now,” you said as you let go of his hand.

Dokyeom chuckled before tossing his head back, “I didn't realize you could move like that” he said as they sat back on the bed, a little closer than before.

“I guess I learnt a few things along the way when you're friends with the best dancers out here.” As you finished your sentence, he peered into your eyes, making no sound as the room fell silent.

“Soo, what did you want to talk about?” you awkwardly state to relieve some tension in the air.

“I don't know how to explain it, but I kind of heard your "secret" as it passed through the practice room, and I simply wanted to be the first one to tell you about it because-

Your heart stopped pounding as your world came crashing down around you. You didn't want to hear it; the rejection; you'd rather live in your fantasy world, where you don't have to worry about anything. It wasn't true if you didn't hear it.

“Wait, if you can't reconcile those feelings, don't say anything; just let me go.” They're probably curious about our whereabouts anyway.” And with that, you stood up and walked towards the door, but you were pulled back by his hand.

He kissed you as swiftly as his hands linked with yours. You were taken aback at first by his passion, but you regained your calm and reminded yourself of what was going on: he was really kissing you, and you were really kissing him, and the rest of the world was inconsequential.

You were chilling on the outside while shouting for joy at the top of your lungs on the inside, as if your inner child had been set free. You had to be sure if this was a dream or if it was happening in real life.

“Ouch”

“Why did you do that?” Dokyeom asked as he gripped your arm in his.

“I had to double-check that I wasn't dreaming; this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me.”

“So you're saying I've been in your dreams?” he laughed as he cocked his head to the side and placed his hand in yours.”

You smacked your forehead and shook your head, realizing you couldn't get out of this one, and now he knew you fantasize about him. You didn't mind because the lad of your dreams was right in front of your eyes.

AND HE WAS HOLDING YOUR MF HAND. It was clear that your diary needed to be updated.

Stopping at the door, you placed your palm on his chest and worriedly stared at him.

“Wait, how did you find out?” 

“Well, a tiny birdie was chattering loudly about it, his name rhymes with coo,” he said as he grabbed your hand in his and opened the door and began the walk downstairs.

“Fucking Boo Seungkwan”

[monst]

Taking a dip

All characters 18+

Hawks (Takami Keigo), Todoroki Shouto, Deku (Midoriya Izuku), Dabi X reader

Warnings: Sexy time actions/themes, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Dubcon (Dabi & Hawks). Mutual masterbation (Deku), Shenanigans (Shouto & Hawks) 

“Can I request some nsfw Onsen hc’s for Dabi Todo Deku and Hawks pls?” 

Dabi

You were ecstatic, so much so that you hummed rather loudly as you peeled off your clothes. You hadn’t been on a vacation since you became a hero and that was years ago. Your agency had sent you on mandatory leave to a remote mountain in the countryside of Kyoto. You were spending a week at Kinosaki onsen and you hadn’t felt more relaxed in ages.

 It was like stepping into the past. One without superpowered villains, without technology to remind you of recent horrors and most importantly there weren’t many people. You really appreciated the cooler weather, thanking it for keeping tourists away. A pleased sigh slipped past your lips when you sunk into the steamy water. The warm liquid quickly eased your tense muscles and you moaned contently. 

Two local girls were soaking not far from you and they quickly initiated conversation, they asked about the scars you bore, and were pleasantly surprised and delighted to be bathing with a top pro hero. They stayed a while longer but ultimately decided to call it a day and they waved you goodbye. And then you were alone… 

You sighed deeply enjoying the cool night air on your face as the water enveloped your form. After a while you rested your arms on a couple of rocks, your head nestled in between them. ‘I could literally fall asleep here.’ You mused. There was a slide of a door but you didn’t turn back, you kept your back to the new arrival thinking that you should give her privacy as she shed her towel and slipped into the water. 

“I thought I’d be in here alone~” You heard a very familiar voice drawl. You had never turned so quickly in water.. Your facial expression changed about a million times in a couple of seconds as you settled for glaring at the villain. The scarred man had a lazy grin set upon his lips as he looked you over. “What? Not gonna yell, pervert and cover yourself?” He teased.

You scoffed, like hell were you going to show any weakness in front of Dabi. He thrived off of people fearing him that and you wanted him to see the nasty burn he left you with a couple months prior. “What the fuck are you doing here?” You hissed, your mind was already conjuring up various scenarios on how to take him down. However, the lanky man just leaned back against a rock formation and sighed. 

“Relax dollface.” He hummed. “I’m not here to pick a fight. Every villain needs some time off every so often.” You rolled your eyes, body still tense. Dabi made himself comfortable and your eyes shifted over him in suspicion. He didn’t seem like he was here to finish cremating you… And you didn’t feel like fighting nude. You hated his guts but you supposed, you could just leave it alone for now. Even though his presence had soured your mood, you hadn’t moved from your spot to leave. 

“...I swear life hates me.” You grumbled sinking your body into the water up to your chin. It was then that Dabi’s brilliantly blue eyes shifted back to you. His shit eating grin annoyed you. “Ughh out of all places.” You frowned. “Your lucky I’m on vacation otherwise I would have flayed your skinny ass.” His silence was bothering you. “Why couldn’t you have gone to the men's side.” You groaned. He snickered at that, “Well doll~ There’s a couple old geezers in there who’d recognize me and I was under the assumption that there was no one here.” “Don’t lie.” You fumed. “You got me. I saw your name on the roster and decided to pay one of my favorite heroes an impromptu visit.” You wished you could wipe the smug grin off his face. After another moment of silence you noticed he was closer by a foot. “Dabi I swear if you're up to something.” You hissed. 

“Relax~ We’re on a ceasefire hero.” “Well then stay where you are…. I’m watching you.” Your eyes narrowed and you made the mistake of making it obvious that you stepped back. “I’m flattered.” He moved a bit closer. “I..I didn’t mean it like that.” You stuttered. ..Fuck.. Your breath was caught as he neared you, little waves slapping against your skin softly. His cerulean gaze was set on your form, water dripping from his lean form and for a moment, for a teeny tiny second your mind whispered something absurd. He’s fucking hot. You squashed the thought. 

He was arms length away and you glared at him furiously. You felt your nostrils flare in anger as he looked down at your bare body. “I think I prefer you out of costume.” he hummed. Words seemed to have escaped you as you thought about a million ways you could kill- Your eyes widened when the tips of his fingers brushed against the burn scar on your shoulder. “This is one nasty scar doll~” Without a second thought you lifted your hand ready to bring it across his face…. He nestled your wrist in his hand, a coy smile curling his lips. 

You felt your heart thump loudly, you had found yourself in a very unfavorable position and you cried out softly when he lifted your hand away from your body. Your other hand came to push against his chest but he only closed the distance between your wet bodies. His other hand slid down your body and rested on your hip. It was then that you felt something pressing against your belly and your face felt like it was on fire. A gasp escaped your lips when he leaned in, his nose against yours. “I’ve always wanted to fuck my favorite little hero~” 

“I will knee you right here right now Dabi. Let. Go.” He laughed at your breathy threat. “I mean it, there’s no way I’ll let a scummy villain-” “Come on (Name)~” He purred. “People are supposed to do wild shit on vacation.” 

Todoroki Shoto

Shouto sighed in annoyance. He had been sitting in the changing room for almost an hour now. His arms were crossed over his broad chest, pale fingers tapping against beefy biceps. “Calm down hon.” You laughed plopping down next to him on the wooden bench. He looked over to you and his hand quickly shot out to pull your towel up higher. “I am calm.” He muttered. “Ha.” You scoffed. “Remember we’re out here because you want us to be.” You teased. 

The tips of his ears reddened in embarrassment at the truth of the matter. See your husband and you had planned to go to the springs for the weekend. And at your insistence you wanted to go to the mix gendered area so that you could be together. So then he tried to book it so that it’d only be you two. With his money and statues it wasn’t an issue but sadly your good friends had tagged along and now Midoriya, Uraraka, Tsuyu and Tenya were sitting in the hot water. The issue? Well he didn’t care for other people looking at you while you were nude. Therefore he was going to wait them out.. 

“Ughh Shouto they’re our friends, it’s not a big deal. Besides it’s not like I’m going to be completely nakey.” He knew that, but that didn’t mean he was okay with it. “You know that’s not the issue…” He flushed, looking down at the marks that still lingered on your skin. There was no way his friends wouldn’t notice the indentation of teeth littering your delicate flesh… He may have gotten carried away last night. 

You put your hand on his thigh and looked at him seriously. “Sho…. You do realize that our friends know we have sex right?” This elicited an eye roll from the hero. “”Doesn’t mean they need to know every single detail of it.” He countered. “But we shouldn’t keep secrets from our friends.” You teased, giving him your most innocent look. Grey and blue eyes narrowed at the tone and before he could get out a word you dropped your towel and shimmied away towards the sliding door. 

“H-Hey!?” He blushed, red consuming his face when you shed your bra. “What? We need them to see everything~” His eyes roamed your exposed flesh, his lips pursed as you began to slide out of your panties. Shouto groaned, your frisky behavior knew no bounds. You wiggled your fingers towards the door and he rose a challenging brow in a silent dare. You scoffed, he was trying to call your bluff. ‘Jokes on him I’m not bluff- “What the?” The door wouldn’t budge. It was then that you saw the ice. 

Just as you turned around to confront him you were met with a blanket of blue. You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips as he tried to cover your nude form. You weren’t making it easy for him squirming against him as he tried to knot the towel around you. In your breathless wiggles you felt something...interesting. A sly grin slid onto your face, your hand palming his hardening length. His response was immediate, caught off guard he dropped the towel a low groan passing pale pink lips. 

“You little liar~” You snickered. “Is this?” You pressed down harder for emphasis. “The reason you don’t want me going out there like this?” Shouto’s gaze set your skin aflame, his lips seared kisses onto your neck, hands kneading the pulpy flesh of your breasts. Your hand slipped underneath his briefs and you began to slowly glide your hand up and down his shaft. “Ah~” He nipped at your neck, stimulating the still tender bites from yesterday. 

At the sound he pushed you up against the door, a thick thigh wedging itself between your legs. You wasted no time in trying to grind against the muscular leg his name leaving your lips in a soft whisper. HIs hot breath blew into your ear “I was trying to stop this from happening, in there, in front of all of them. But it seems like that’s what you want… You want them to see how well your tight cunt takes my cock?” You keened at the thought. “Sh-

Whatever he was going to say next was cut off…. By the door sliding open. The fall was muted by Shouto’s quick reflexes and you bounced off his hard chest. He let out a groan and you looked up to meet various pairs of wide eyes. “Hey...Guys… What’s up?” “Not to be rude.. But when are you all leaving?” Shouto added.

Deku -Midoriya Izuku

“Ah~” You sighed in complete bliss as you dipped yourself into the warm heat of the water. You were in heaven~ “Thanks Deku!” You called out to your boss, knowing that the wall separating the both of you wasn’t soundproof. You heard the hero sputter a thanks. You let the hot water penetrate your sore limbs as you chatted with a couple. It wasn’t long before you were listening to their life’s story. 

Deku sat alone on his side. Unbeknownst to you he had bought out the entire area knowing how hectic things would have gotten if his fans knew he was there…. Well that was the excuse he told the people at the front desk. Truth was, he had a much more shady reason. You see he was very much interested in his sidekick. 

He respected you as a hero, you were strong and valuable but lately he’s been wanting to do more than just hero work with you. He found you incredibly attractive, to the point where it was hard for him to concentrate. And more often than naught he’d find himself fantasising about you, while writing reports he’d think of you coming in, tossing everything off the desk “Hah~” He covered his mouth at the sound. Or when the both of you were patrolling, God how he just wanted to push you into an alley and tear that tight costume from your body and fuck you sensless. 

You were just so damn perfect. And he felt so disgusting for what he was doing but he was no longer thinking straight, all of his thoughts went to his dripping length. Red blossomed across his cheeks as he sat atop the rocks by the wall,his hand leisurely stroking his stiff cock. Emerald eyes drank in your form from the crack in the wall. You had been left alone and you took to floating atop the water giving him a great view. 

You sunk back down and peered at the wall curiously, unknowingly making the green haired man tense. “Hey Deku?” You called. “Y-yeah?” He stuttered. “You okay? You’ve been making strange sounds for a while now…. Is the water stringing your more recent wounds?” “N-Nooh~” Your eyes widened at the word. ‘D-did he just?... No..That-’ You cut off your train of thought and decided to approach the wall to investigate. The closer you got the more clear the sound was. You felt your face grow warm at the rhythmic sound. 

Izuku wanted to stop but the thought of you knowing what he was doing was boiling his blood, his mind was conjuring up infinite scenarios. He wondered if you’d think he was disgusting, would you berate him for it? Join him? Would your hands remove his and would your mouth replace- “Hnngh” His eyes were shut by now and his quick gasps had heat warming in your belly. “Ah~ F-fuck.” He moaned shamelessly. “(N-Name)~” he gasped quietly as he dropped his other hand to cup his balls. 

“Holy shit.” You breathed, you climbed onto the rocks and you felt your cunt pulse at the sight. You peered through the same crack he had been observing you from and your face felt like lava at the realization. Ever so slowly you began to slide your hands across your hot body. You mapped the curves of your body, kneading and stroking your way up and down the slippery flesh; your eyes fixed on the show in front of you. 

When you reached your pussy, you realized how wet you were and your gasp alerted Deku. Green met (e/c) as you both stared at each other in embarrassment and desire. Silence was threatening to kill the mood until you saw Izuku buck into his hand and resume his slow pace. You sat back making sure to position yourself in a way that you wouldn't fall. Tentatively your hand slid back down to your drooling cunt, and Deku’s breath caught as he watched your fingers swirl around your clit. 

“Hnn (N-Name) You so fucking sexy.” He mewled when you slipped in two fingers, your velvety walls accepting them graciously. You whined as you set a good pace. “I-Izuku~” You moaned. It was as if his mind went blank when you said his name and without a second thought he scaled the wall...

Hawks -Takami Keigo 

        You groaned in annoyance, you had been pushing through branches, and tripping on roots for a while now and still no sight of him. Your puffs of air were visible as you trudged along the mountain trails. The chilly air nipped at your skin as you tried to look for tracks. ‘Nothing.’ You had lost him. “Hawks!?” You shouted, looking up towards the sky. There were no red feathers in sight…

You continued to walk and call out for the hero. You wondered if the villain you were chasing had shot him out of the sky. Worry filled your being at the thought and you ignored the way the low branches snagged at your clothes as you picked up the pace, his hero name and occasionally his name being the only sound amidst the natural woodland sounds. After a couple of minutes you finally found him…. And the villain…

“You idiot.” You huffed. “I thought he got you. And what the fuck are you doing?!” You seethed. The blonde sat in a natural spring clothes strewn across a couple branches, the villain? Unconscious and strapped to a tree like a victim of the monster from the ritual. In reply the cheeky hero just crossed his arms behind his head and leaned back. You averted your eyes to give him some privacy and went to gather the discarded articles of clothing. “Stop fucking around, we need to take this guy in.”

“Oh C’mon (Name)~ I never get to relax, just a couple more minutes?” He whined. You rolled your eyes but allowed him to continue his soak. You picked at your nails as you looked up at the man hanging awkwardly from the tree. ‘He’s going to be so sore when he wakes up. Serves hi-’ Your thoughts were cut off by the sound of water moving and the teasing baritone of the number two hero. “Hey why don’t you join me?” You could hear the smirk in his voice. 

You turned to glare at him, you jumped in surprise he was leaning against a rock close to wear you sat. In your shock you forgot to answer and instead took in the sight of his lean form. Sunlight peeked in from in between the leaves and they hit the water droplets on his chest making the man look ethereal. His strong frame was practically glowing and your tongue slipped out to wet your lips. Hawks grinned, loving the way you were blatantly checking him out. “Is that a yes?” He rumbled. A fire was lit beneath your cheeks and you scoffed. “No. Now hurry the fuck up s-so that we can go.” 

The bird in the bath just cocked his head to the side, a mischievous smirk sliding onto his face like melted butter. It was both a blessing and a curse but Keigo was undeniably  too fast. You shrieked when your body came in contact with the water. Your clothes immediately absorbing the moisture and becoming heavy. “Keigo!? What the f-Ah! H-hey!” Thick red curtains blocked your exit as his fingers worked at removing your wet clothes. 

He undressed, you quite easily tossing the clothes onto the rocks you had previously sat on. Once you were completely nude he pulled back a satisfied grin stretching his pale pink lips. “There.” You shot him a heated glare. He spoke as if he had done you a great service and you’d be damned if you didn’t chew him out for this. “Y..Wh- Arghghh” So eloquent you were in your anger. “See this is your problem birdy, You don’t know how to relax~” He hummed. 

“Relax? Relax!? ReLaX!?” You hissed. “I’m fucking naked, in a pool in the middle of no where, far from civilization, my clothes are wet and it’s cold as balls and that fucking villain’s getting front row seats to my impromptu fans only?!” You seethed. Your anger spiking when he only laughed. “I’m going to kill you.” You muttered hugging your arms across your chest, trying not to flash him more than you already had. Keigo was going to be the death of you.

Hawks absolutely loved setting you off, Your short fuse was just too tempting to light. It was a juvenile way of showing his attraction, teasing the ever living hell out of you till you imploded. He waded over to your infuriated form a smile playing at his lips when your fiery eyes met, he held his hand up in mock surrender as he approached. You eyed him warily, body tense when he leaned on the rock next to you. ‘He’s quiet… Too quiet…’

“...(Name)?” He began. A harsh what had him biting his lip to conceal a smile. “I may have went a bit too far, sorry.” You let out a sharp exhale through your nose, brows furrowed as you avoided his pouty ‘sorry’ face. He was notorious for pulling stunts like this and flashing you his innocent repenting angel face. You wouldn’t fall for it. “Sorry isn’t going to dry my clothes.” You sassed. He sighed a frown touching his lips. You were rigid when his strong arms pulled you to him, your back resting against his firm chest. 

“Okay, I messed up.” He whispered. He thought about how you could get sick and his arms tightened around your frame. “So..? What do you suppose we do?” He asked. “Call the authorities to our location?” You mused, thinking of how you could just put your clothes back on and wait in the water till aid came. The winged hero reached over the rocks to grab his phone and shared his location along with instructions. “Hmm two hours.” He relayed sinking a bit more into the water. 

“We’re going to be so pruny when they get here.” You snickered. “Well I guess we can just make the most of it till then.” You hummed. “Unless?” You heard him mutter. “Unless what?” He then pulled your body flush against his, the curve of your ass brushing against the ‘unless’... “T-The villain is right there?!” You sputtered. “So?” …..Keigo was going to be the death of you.

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Warnings: mentions of gun violence (just references to what happened last chapter, nothing new), hospitals, one swear word

A/N at bottom

Masterlist

Chapter 22

You managed to make the nurse feel bad enough for you that she gave you lots of extra Jell-O.

“Happy birthday, dear Jo,” you and Spencer sang, “Happy birthday to you.”

“Blow out the invisible candle!” you encouraged her.

“I promise we will get you an even bigger cake than before soon,” Spencer kissed her head as she ate a spoonful of the green Jell-O.

“It’s okay, I like Jell-O,” Jo said, outreaching the spoon towards Spencer.

“Me too,” he smiled, taking the bite off the spoon.

Spencer’s phone rang and you saw it displaying Hotch’s name. Spencer grabbed the phone and stood and you nodded at him in acknowledgement.

“Hey, Hotch” Spencer said as he stepped out of the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

“Reid, is there any way you could get back to the BAU?” Hotch asked.

“I really don’t feel comfortable leaving my family until the unsub is caught,” Spencer stated, watching you feed Jo another cup of Jell-O through the window.

“Not even if we sent two guards over,” Hotch asked.

“No sorry, I’m not leaving them. Can you fill me in over the phone?” Spencer responded.

“Yes, of course. I’m going to have Garcia call the hospital and fax some documents over to you so you can look them over. I’m setting you up on speaker in the conference room now,” Hotch stated.

“How’s everyone over there?” JJ asked.

“As good as can be expected. Y/N is sitting up now and she says her discomfort is minimal. And Jo seems to be enjoying the vast supply of Jell-O here. Oh also, Y/N and I are engaged,” he added.

“WHAT? Boy Wonder, you can’t keep springing huge news on us like it isn’t a big deal. You’re getting married!” Penelope squealed.

“Yes, I am,” Spencer smiled.

“Dr. and Mrs. Pretty Boy,” Derek grinned.

Everyone else gave their congratulations before getting to work.

“This unsub obviously has a vengeance against specifically Reid because we were all there and they only aimed for Reid’s family, probably because they knew it would inflict the most pain for him,” Emily stated.

“Garcia, search all past cases in which Reid was the primary on the takedown,” Hotch said.

“Sir, he was at the bureau for nearly seven years. There’s still hundreds,” Garcia replied.

“Garcia, filter out anyone who is still in prison. Focus on unsubs that have been recently released or escaped,” Spencer said.

Spencer heard Penelope clicking away at her keyboard through the phone.

“There’s no one you have put away that has escaped or been released in the past six months.”

“An unsub that has this much rage against Reid would have taken action before then,” Derek countered.

“Get a list of everyone I had to kill and focus on their friends and family. Maybe an anniversary is coming up that triggered them” Spencer spoke softly.

“Got it. We’ll update you later. Tell Y/N we all are sending our best,” Hotch said.

“And a muffin basket!” Penelope added.

-

Spencer was curled up on the tiny hospital bed with Jo and Y/N who were both napping when his phone rang.

“Do you remember the L.D.S.K. in Des Plaines, Illinois about 5 years ago?” Hotch asked.

“Yes, Phillip Dowd. He was an E.R. nurse taking shifts at multiple hospitals and wanted to save the people he shot to look good,” Spencer spoke softly.

“This unsub is exhibiting the same M.O. and you were the one who shot him in the hostage

situation. So, I had Garcia look up his relatives. He has a younger brother, Damon, who served in the army as well but was just recently dishonorably discharged after a long mission. That explains why he would target you now.”

“Of course. How did I not see this?” Spencer rubbed his eyes out of frustration.

“Your girlfriend, or should I say fiancée, was just shot. I think you have the right to not be exactly clear-headed right now,” Hotch assured him.

“Is he in custody?” Spencer asked, watching you start to stir next to him.

“Yes but he wants you to take his confession.”

“I’ll be there soon,” Spencer sighed and hung up.

“Who was that?” you whispered.

“They got the guy but I have to take his confession,” Spencer whispered back.

“Why?”

Spencer looked you in the eyes guiltily. He had to tell you that he was responsible for you getting shot. He was the one that the unsub was angry at.

“It’s all my fault,” he whispered, a tear rolling down his cheek, “It’s the brother of an unsub I had to kill five years ago.”

“Love,” you wiped the tear off his cheek with your thumb, “you were not holding the gun pointed at me. This was not your fault. You were only doing what was right during that case,” you spoke softly but in a serious tone, “I need you to say it for me, please.”

“This...was not my fault,” Spencer sniffled.

“Good,” you gave him a kiss, “now go get the bad guy’s confession and then come back to us.”

-

Spencer entered the slightly chilly interrogation room with a file in his hand.

“Dr. Spencer Reid,” Damon smirked.

“Why did you do it?” Spencer asked flatly, taking a seat across from him.

“Try to kill your family at your daughter’s birthday party? Eye for an eye, Doctor,” he replied.

“Why wouldn’t you shoot me though? I’m the one you have a problem with,” Spencer asked, already knowing the answer.

“You’ve been shot before. That’s nothing new. Even if you died, your pain would be relatively minimal compared to watching a loved one bleed out in front of you knowing that you were the cause.”

Spencer’s mind flashed back to earlier when you made him state out loud that he was not responsible for any of this.

“This was your fault, not mine,” Spencer spoke firmly.

“Too bad, I’m not as good of a sniper as Phillip. Next time, I’ll have to practice more,” Damon made a fake gun with his fingers and pointed it up to Spencer’s head, pretending to shoot it.

“And I’ll make sure Mommy isn’t around to stop the bullet….you know what, maybe I’ll actually take two shots next time.”

“You son of a bitch,” Spencer leapt up from the table and tackled Damon to the floor.

Damon wasn’t in handcuffs but was already pinned to the floor before he knew what was happening. Spencer landed a few good punches on him before Hotch and Derek pulled him back.

“Stay away from them,” Spencer seethed.

“Are you going to do something about this rogue agent?” Damon demanded, wiping the blood from his nose.

“Technically, he’s a civilian and I’m only responsible for my team’s behavior so no. And it’s doctor, not agent,” Hotch put Damon back in handcuffs and escorted him out of the room.

A/N: so many people thought the unsub was cat adams but i already planned it to be like the LDSK in the park. i wasn’t originally planning on having cat be in this fic but should i write her in (this fic will still have a happy ending). also, this is a bit of a filler chapter but the next chapter is gonna be really long and i’m so busy this week so it may not be out until this weekend. i will post an update on here when i have a better idea of when it will be out. anyways...did you hear that??? i think it’s wedding bells...

[princecharmingmendes]

Birthday Girl | Raul Mendes

Where Raul makes sure his girl will have the best birthday ever despite anything else

Hello everyone, pausing a bit on the Heart by Heart series (I'll be back to it Thursday as usual) to celebrate the beautiful and amazing @sinceweremutual birthday! This a small blurb/oneshot I started writing as soon as I found out her birthday was today, so I hope this was worth it. Happy Reading!

And honey, happy birthday! Hope you like it!

-*-

*Word Count: 3.5K+

*Warnings: stablished relationship, minor cursing and overly sweet Raul.

*Posted: August 15th, 2021.

-*-

Y/N loved her precious hours of sleep.

Loved the sensation of waking up and knowing she had some time to go back to bed and cuddle back into her pillows (or boyfriend if he haven’t left already). She liked sleeping in just a bit more on the weekends and taking naps after a long hard day. Last night was not an exception. Her day sucked and Raul was stuck at the hospital for a night shift, only being able to make it back home on the early hours of the morning.

They weren’t necessarily living together yet, but they’ve been together for almost two years, having known each other for a lot more than that and nowadays the pretty much were always together, but both had their own apartment, even though they’re barely separated. So she came back to his apartment since he promised he’d come as soon as he was allowed to join her in her sleep.

Her day sucked. Her boss was unnecessarily mean towards her for a mistake she did not commit and wasn’t her responsibility to make sure that wouldn’t happen. Then she had to spend the whole day fixing the other team’s mistake and it took over three hours and a bunch of paperwork, but at the end of the day she was able to figure it out. Only to receive a half assed apology, her boss blaming it on his wife’s strange behavior or whatever lame excuse he could find to put the blame on someone else.

So by the time she reached his apartment she felt dead at her feet, only having enough energy left to shower and pull on one of Raul’s hoodie over her head, burying her nose on his faint scent in the fabric, before falling onto her back in his bed and allowing herself to relax. What was supposed to be a five minute nap, ended up being the whole night, even skipping dinner in favor of resting in peace, nuzzling further into her boyfriend’s bedding.

Raul got home around 2 a.m. and found his girl asleep in his bed, holding his pillow tight to her chest and he could feel his heart swelling in his chest at the sight. He carefully dropped his things in the closet before coming out to check if she was still asleep and unperturbed with him roaming around, and his suspicious were confirmed by her steady breathing and peaceful demeanor. He decided it was best to take a quick shower before diving under the covers with Y/N and pulling her into his chest.

He was at the hospital for goodness sake.

As soon as he was out of the bathroom and back into his dark room, with only a pair of sweatpants hanging low on his hips, he plugged his phone, checking his alarms and carefully climbing onto the bed. But as soon as the mattress dipped under his weight, he noticed Y/N shifting on her side, and he stilled his movements to check if he had woken her up or was just a dream.

Y/N turned her face to his side completely, eyes still hazy and sleep clouding her senses “Baby?”

“Hi, sweetheart, it’s just me” he mumbled hovering over her with his hands planted on each side of her head to hold himself up, before he leaned down to press featherlight kissed all over her face.

“Kissy?” her voice small and soaked in sleep as she puckered her lips at him.

Raul let out a low and warm chuckle, making an involuntary smile appear in her lips as she looked up at him, feeling all fuzzy inside with the sound of his voice and the way he looked at her, before leaning down and placing a slow peck on her pout “you know you can get all the kisses in the world, my love, you don’t even have to ask” he then connected their lips again in a longer yet sweet kiss as she sighed into his mouth happily.

“Missed you” she said as soon as he pulled away, only to place his pillow back in its place so he could lay down properly, then pulling her pliant body to accommodate on top of his.

He hummed placing a kiss to her forehead as she curled her body around his, throwing a leg over his to tangle them “Missed you too, but I’m here now and you should rest, your four minutes voice message was enough for me to know you need to relax”

Y/N just nodded nuzzling her face in his neck sighing contently as he rubbed circles on her back, slowly drifting off himself as well “good night, darling, sweet dreams” he whispered into her hair but she was already asleep, but that didn’t stop her from tightening her embrace on him.

-*-

She had a peaceful night of sleep until being coaxed awake with a bunch of tiny soft kisses being placed all over her face, making her scrunch her nose before slowly blinking her eyes open. She was met with her gorgeous boyfriend hovering over her with his megawatt smile he reserved only for her shining bright. Y/N giggled softly tucking her head on the bicep on her left that was holding his weight above her. Raul couldn’t help but laugh at her.

“Good morning, birthday girl” he murmured a bit raspy as he dragged his lips across her cheek until she looked up at him with a smile on her face.

“Hm good morning” she mumbled sleepily letting her eyes fall closed.

“Oh no, don’t sleep on me” he whined and she giggled.

“I’m not sleeping, silly, just resting a bit”

Raul let out a low chuckle before kissing the tip of her nose “happy birthday, my love”

“Happy birthday indeed” she mumbled before wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to lay on top of her.

But before he could smash her into the mattress he was quick to roll them both over “no, no sleeping again” he laughed sitting them both up with Y/N on his lap.

“Why not?” she was physically unable to stop herself from pouting.

He only smiled sympathetically at her “you made me promise you I wouldn’t let you skip work today, and that was only two days ago and I don’t break the promises I make to you”

Y/N groaned rolling her eyes “stupid past me who thought working was worth skipping a day with you when I’ll have a crowded night and won’t even properly be able to enjoy my time with you”

“Having second thoughts on your night out, sweetheart?” he asked teasingly and she nodded “well, good thing Angela texted me to tell me she’s not making it tonight so she’ll reschedule with you later”

“Really??” she asked with a smile “I know I shouldn’t sound too excited about this, but this week was so long and I needed some chill time, you and a movie would be wonderful”

He only giggled and leaned his forehead against hers “That can be arranged, darling”

“Good” she hummed gently with a smile.

“Kissy?” Raul begged with a pout but a slightly teasing tilt in his voice.

It took her a while to realize he was mocking her from last night and she felt her face burning up “oh fuck you” she said trying to leave abruptly, but his arm around her kept her pinned in his lap as he laughed.

“No, no, drop it, it was just a joke, you were just so cute last night, could never say no to you” he mumbled kissing her jaw “come in, don’t be mad at me, I’ll do that thing you like for dinner, yeah?”

“This doesn’t sound like a food offer” she said with knowing look in her eyes and he had a smirk on his lips before she had even finished her sentence, making a laugh bubble up her throat “you’re the actual worst!”

Raul threw his head back in laughter, placing a kiss on her cheeks “come on, it was just a joke, you know I’ll give you anything you’d want, doll” and his eyes were so serious and so tender she almost melted into his chest.

“Oh God, it’s barely seven in the morning, I’m barely functioning and awake, and you’re already flirting, how do you manage that?” she asked incredulously, looking at him and he just laughed shaking his head.

“Well, I can’t help it when you look like that” he mumbled leaning in closer, rubbing their noses together.

“Like what?”

“Like the love of my life” he answered like it was the most obvious thing in the planet.

And he did it so easily, not even flinching at that, leaving her speechless.

Their relationship started with teasing and mindless flirting, becoming close friends pretty quickly. He flirted with everyone without even realizing, it was just natural, and she was just good with quick funny and slightly flirty remarks they just clicked. Their friendship blurred into a serious romantic relationship so easily, everyone surrounding them rooting hot it to happen. So this wasn’t necessarily a weird situation, they’ve been like this for years, but sometimes he’d utter the sweetest confessions between the little teasings and jokes with such rawness and adoration in his eyes that she’d end up frozen in place.

He did it because it would turn things a little easier to digest and he felt better that way, wouldn’t feel so intimidated since, and Y/N didn’t mind. She knew he could be honest and serious whenever he needed, but these tiny declarations that could be fitted into a casual conversation about their grocery list always caught her off guard. And it was so genuine and spontaneous, she couldn’t help but fall even harder for him.

So she just stared at him in awe for a couple of seconds before realizing she hadn’t said anything in return, before she babbled up a “I love you too”

Raul couldn’t contain the fond smile gracing his lips before he leaned in and pressed a long yet sweet peck at her lips “wait here only a sec, yeah?”

“What? Baby, you said no surprises!” she whined but got out of his lap anyway and he only smiled at her.

“It’s not a huge surprise or anything, I promise” he said before leaving her laying in his bed.

“Of course that is the only promise he’s able to break” Y/N grumbled under her breath grumpily.

Then she heard Raul chuckle as he approached the room again “I can hear you, you know?” and she only rolled her eyes from the bed and gasping as soon as she met him by the door.

He was holding a huge breakfast tray that had absolutely all of her favorite breakfast food and a beautiful flower arrange holding her favorite ones. The smile on her face was enough to make him aware that waking up after only 4 hours of sleep were worth it, and he’d do it all over again just to see her smile like that again.

“You didn’t have to” was all she could mutter.

Raul smiled and nodded “I know, I just wanted to make your day a bit better before work, and we can celebrate later”

“Thank you” she said in a hushed tone as he placed the tray on the nightstand, and as soon as it was out of danger of suffering a strike she lunged forward wrapping him in a hug as she knocked them both on the bed again “thank you so much”

Raul laughed wrapping his arms around her waist tighter “you’re so very welcome” he said as he placed a kiss to her hair.

“I love you so much” she mumbled squeezing him just a bit tighter.

“I know, love” he said with a hand tilting her chin up look at him “but I love you so much more”

“Ew” she teased and he laughed, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and shaking his head.

He snorted making her laugh “Cruel beautiful thing”

Y/N leaned down to press a kiss to his lips “good thing you love me more than” mumbling before sitting back up to eat her breakfast.

And that was how she got ready for work, with one of the best breakfasts she’s ever had in her life, and sure the food as good, but that wasn’t all of it. She was still at home, in bed and content. Then after eating through light banter and little silly jokes, Raul followed her around his room and watched her get ready for work. She had enough stuff in his house she could easily live in there for a while, since it’s where they spent most of their time. So as soon as she was ready, with her boyfriend still hot in her tracks with every move she made, trailing behind her.

“Okay” she said as she grabbed her purse “this is your day off and I know you’re up super early for this and came home super late, so please sleep”

“Why? You plan on keeping me up all night?” he teased with his signature smirk and Y/N shook her head laughing.

She gently cupped his cheeks in both of her hands “you need to sleep, doctor’s orders, honey”

“I'm the doctor here” he protested and she only shook her head in response.

“Well, I’m in control here, mister, so to bed you go”

“Fine, but I’ll pick you up, alright?” he said pressing a kiss to her forehead and she nodded “Love you”

“Love you too”

-*-

Six p.m. sharp she heard her phone buzzing softly, indicating her overly excited boyfriend was already downstairs waiting for her. So Y/N started grabbing her things, letting him know she’d be there soon, and turning off her computer for the weekend. Before she could even get up from her chair, she saw her coworker and friend, Claire running towards her with a big smile on her face.

“Your prince charming is here!” she beamed and Y/N cringed at how loud she exclaimed.

“Keep it down, people are still working” she hissed at her friend but she only rolled her eyes at her antics in response.

“Come on, don’t leave him waiting!”

She shook her head laughing softly “okay, okay, I’m leaving”

“Happy birthday, girl, enjoy your six feet boyfriend”

Y/N looked at her funny “I will, thank you? What did he say to you?”

“Just go! And text me later!” she said as she pushed Y/N into the elevator, pressing the buttons and leaving her alone.

She laughed to herself, adjusting the strap of her bag on her shoulder as she looked down at her phone, her foot tapping against the marble floor as she waited for the doors to open, and as they did, all the stress rolled off of her. Raul was standing just in front of her building wearing a beautiful button up, with a chain necklace hanging from his neck and peaking through the first opened buttons. His black shades covering his beautiful eyes and showing the reason behind his reputation of being a bad boy, when in reality he was just a softie.

But in his hands, he had another bouquet of flowers and as soon as he set his eyes on her, his face brightened up with a big smile. He was just leaning on his jeep and as she got closer he straightened his posture and took the final steps to meet her in between. He pressed a quick peck to her lips and extended the flowers to her, keeping their affection to minimum since neither of them were a fan of PDA.

“Hi there, gorgeous” she said trying to mimic his flirty tone and he only chuckled.

Raul opened the door for her “Hello, my love, ready for our birthday celebration?”

She kissed his cheek as she climbed in, bouquet on her lap as she buckled up “Is there food involved?”

“Of course, homemade and everything” he said closing the door before climbing on the drivers seat.

“Are you for real?” she asked as she turned to face him.

He only smiled starting the car, backing up and starting to drive them both to his place “Of course, could never lie to you, and it’s your favorite, even asked you grandmother for the recipe”

“Oh shit!” she squealed from her seat and he smiled at her nodding “you have to be kidding me”

“You can call her” Raul said teasingly “Or you could trust your very honest and loving boyfriend, both pretty simple options”

Y/N laughed shaking her head “you’re absolutely ridiculous”

“But you love me” he quickly added and she couldn’t stop herself from laughing harder.

“Of course I do, silly, it’s impossible not to when you’re literally being the best human being I’ve ever met and always making sure I’m happy” she said looking at the flowers on her lap before looking up at Raul.

“Stop it, you’re gonna make me cry” he teased and she shook her head with a giggle “I just want to make you happy, promised it to your mom and myself”

“And you’re acing this” she said and he grabbed her hand, planting a kiss on the back of it before parking on the garage of his building.

“Baby, before we go back home, could you please grab me my wallet, I think it's one the glove compartment” he mumbled grabbing his phone probably to reply to someone’s text.

And she did, but she was not expecting what she saw.

Inside the glove compartment there were a bunch of polaroids of them and rose petals scattered around, and right on the back of it there was a little key hanging under the phrase ‘move in with me, please?’ written in his calligraphy. She was still processing the whole thing when he cleaned his throat slightly nervous, making her look up at him with wide eyes and still not sure what to say.

“I know this is your birthday, and this is technically a gift for me, but I really couldn’t wait another day” he said softly, seemingly shyer than his usual confident self, making her heart swell twice its size in her chest.

“Raul, I- yeah, yes, of course I’ll move in with you!” she practically jump on him as much as she could due to the fact that they’re still in his car and space was limited.

Y/N was quick to capture his lips in a searing kiss and she felt him relax under her touch, tucking her bottom lip between his two, a hand cupping her face as the other held her waist to give her some sort of support on the pose she had. She backed way to recover a bit of breath she didn’t think she would need when she lunged forward to her boyfriend, so instead the pecked his lips only about a million times, making him laugh and press one long kiss to her lips then leaning away completely.

“Glad you agreed to it, cause I already told your parents” he said a bit nervous about it, a sly smile gracing his features to match his rosy cheeks.

“Of course you did” she said with a smile “what about yours? Are they okay with it?”

“Are you kidding me?? Mom wanted you to move in like three years ago” he said as he grabbed the key and the photos from the glove compartment “sorry, sweetheart, this is actually symbolic since you already have a key and this is actually mine”

“Figured” she laughed as she grabbed her stuff “And what do you mean three years ago? We weren’t even officially together back then”

Raul shrugged “guess that’s a mom thing, she said something about having never seen me this happy before and she was sure we were in love with each other, turns out she was right, I already loved you back then and didn’t want to admit it, and yeah, you make me the happiest man alive, sweetheart”

“You're absolutely ridiculous but I still love you” Y/N admitted and he smiled at her.

“I know” he opened his door “your real present, meal and a few other stuff are waiting for you upstairs”

“Oh my God, you really went all in” she giggled getting out of the car, and as soon as she was out, he was quick to pick her up bridal style making her squeak “what the hell are you doing?”

He looked down at her, taking a while to cal the elevator “Isn’t this how we’re supposed to do it?”

“Baby, I’m sure it’s only the door, not all the floors and we’re not married” she said with a giggled

“Well, miss skepticism, just let me be a goofball once in a while” he said with a mocking tone.

“Once in a while?” she asked incredulously.

He had a pout on his lips when he spoke up again “Come on, no teasing when I’m trying to be a hopeless romantic, please let me do this and treat you right” he said with a smile

“Alright, whatever you want” she admitted in defeat as she giggled, wrapping her arms around her neck “just don’t drop me, please”

“Would never, sweetheart”

-*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it!

*xoxo

-🌙

[reki-of-the-valley]

More bullet point fanfic by yours truly! - First kiss edition

I woke up at 4 am thinking of this and it's been stuck in my brain ever since. Watch me eventually write it as a whole ass fic

It's the weekend, a slow, hot day. Reki and Langa are in Reki's room, as usual, watching a mix between skating videos and dumb videos that make them laugh (and the occasional cute animal video they will inevitably come across). It's a slow, relaxing day, nothing out of the ordinary for them, except that they can't go out because it's just *too* hot

Langa's got his chin on Reki's shoulder, his eyes falling shut every so often. The heat makes him sluggish, but he refuses to go home where it's cooler or take a nap to sleep the heat away. He's adamant to continue watching what's playing on Reki's phone, even if the light is tiring his eyes

And Reki doesn't mind. He's never minded having Langa close, basically cuddled into his side. Reki likes it, actually. He likes having Langa close. He likes feeling Langa pressed into him, Langa's chin digging into his shoulder, Langa's hair tickling his cheek, Langa's bony elbow pressed into his side. Obviously it's because Reki is used to having people in his personal space. The twins when they cling to his leg, his mother when she hugs him, Koyomi when she's poking him.

So Reki doesn't mind having Langa close, falling asleep on his shoulder. At least, not until Langa is shifting, nose pressing against Reki's neck, the soft skin where no one ever touches him. And his warm breath is heating up Reki's face for a reason he can't tell. Or maybe he can, when Langa is mumble-asking if he can kiss Reki

Langa doesn't mean it. He can't mean it. Langa always mumbles out nonsense when he's half asleep. So Reki laughs it off awkwardly.

Except Langa's nuzzling closer, "please, Reki? Can I, please?"

Reki doesn't trust his voice, knowing it'll come out as a squeak, so he just nods. He has no idea what Langa is going to do, or what kind of kiss he wants, but Reki wants whatever it is, which is weird. Kissing the homies good night was just a saying, not an actual thing, right?

But when Langa's pressing a kiss to his cheek, everything fades away. It doesn't feel weird or wrong or anything. It actually feels nice. Reki likes it. Even if it's just a quick peck, Reki likes it. A lot.

Everything fades, everything goes hazy. Maybe it's from the heat, maybe it's from something else, but Reki's shifting, turning to Langa, Langa with his heavy lidded eyes, Langa with his pretty smile. Maybe it's the heat, maybe that's what's fogging Reki's everything, but something happens. Something happens for Langa to be kissing him, or maybe he's the one kissing Langa; he can't tell who started it. But they're kissing. And Reki feels like he's floating.

Reki is the first to pull away, gasping for air, but langa's chasing his mouth and Reki can't say no to that.

It's not Reki's first kiss - he had kissed a girl on a dare in 6th grade during one of those middle school parties - but it is the first time he was feeling someone's tongue against his lips. It is the first time he was gripping onto someone's shirt to hold them close as the kiss was deepened. It is the first time he was kissing a boy. And he.... Reki likes it. He likes kissing Langa.

When Langa finally pulls back, they're both flushed and panting. Maybe they had gotten a little carried away, but Reki doesn't care. He can't care, not when everything feels blissfully light

At least everything feels nice until Langa's eyes are blown wide open, scrambling to pick his stuff up, shoving them into his bag.

"shit, shit, fuck, I promises my mom I'd be home before dinner. Fuck, she's gonna be pissed. I'm so fucked-!"

And he's dashing off, Reki not even getting a chance to put in a single word. Something twists inside of Reki. Maybe Langa regretted kissing him, maybe that's why he was running away now. Maybe Langa didn't like it as much as Reki did.

They don't talk about the kiss(es). No one brings it up. Reki's too afraid to bring it up and Langa is acting like it never happened. They're both desperately trying to go back to how things were before, but Reki jumps every time Langa's hand brushes against his and Langa isn't leaning in as close as before when they watch videos during lunch at school. It's not horrible, but Reki can feel the tension, which can only mean one thing: Langa hated the kiss.

This goes on for a few days, the awkward no touching but still wanting to. It calms down a bit after a few days. Reki's a little less jumpy, Langa is starting to lean back in (not as much as before, but still always a little closer). They can sit shoulder to shoulder now, not quite touching yet, but getting there. That's how Reki finds himself staring at Langa, watching him eat, looking at his mouth. His mouth that had been pressed to Reki's only a few days ago. His lips so soft despite being chewed at on the daily.

Reki can't blame his actions on the heat this time. He can't blame anything or anyone except himself as he presses a quick kiss to the corner of Langa's mouth. He tries deflecting, finding excuses ("you had something and-!") but it's useless. There's nothing that can excuse his behavior

But Langa simply let's his head fall onto Reki's shoulder. He's not pushing Reki away. He's not telling him that it was wrong of him to do that. None of that.

"M'tired..." "It's the heat, dude" "wanna sleep" "wanna ditch and head back to your place? It's way cooler there" "only if you come"

Reki short circuits as soon as Langa's fingers are twisting with his, tracing the lines in his palm, not letting go.

"can we go? Not like we're actually going to listen to anything, even if we go back"

That's how Reki finds himself pulling Langa up, walking by his side until they're out in the yard and skating off towards Langa's place. That's how he finds himself coming to a halt in front of the apartment he's been in only a handful of times. They always go to his place, crashing in his room. They rarely ever go by the apartment.

Reki watches as Langa unlocks the door, kicking his shoes off as he set his board against the wall. And he follows his lead, though a little more careful, untying his shoes and setting them in a corner with his own board. It's a lot colder in here than it is in his room. The AC must be put to it's lowest.

"you want something? I think my mom bought cookies yesterday"

Reki watches as Langa pulls out more food - they just finished lunch, but Langa is a monster when it comes to snacks, no matter what time it is - before crashing into the couch. Reki follows, like a puppy. He isn't uncomfortable, but still. The environment feels new and he isn't sure how comfortable he should make himself

That is until he's sitting on the couch and Langa is putting his head on Reki's lap, a cookie in his mouth as his bright blue eyes are staring up at Reki. Blue like a clear sky, sun blazing down over the ocean

"I'm sorry," Langa says, holding up his half eaten cookie. "about the other day, I mean. I shouldn't have done that" "I'm sorry too. About- about earlier? It was dumb"

There's a beat of silence. Then Langa is shifting again, sitting up

"Look, Reki, I- I like you and I get it if you dont-!" "Really dude? Like, like like me?" Langa nods, though looking a little confused. "You can do that?" "Reki, you... You do know I'm gay, right?"

Reki did not know that. And when Reki is caught off guard, he acts dumb. That's why he's blurting out "you're gay???"

Langa's still staring at him in disbelief. "yes? I thought it was obvious?"

Apparently not enough for Reki to get the hint. "Oh my god. You like me. You like me. You actually like me."

"Look, you don't have to-" "I like you too! I mean," Reki rubs at his nose, laughing nervously, "i gotta, right? Since I kinda really wanna kiss you again?" "You do?"

And they're both laughing at each other, Langa's face buried in Reki's shoulder. Reki can feel the tears welling up in the corners of his eyes, though he isn't sure if it's from the laughing or from how happy he is

Then Langa's shifting against him once again, look up at Reki with his beautiful blue eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

Reki doesn't answer him, only pressing their mouths together. Because of course Langa can kiss him. He's been thinking about it ever since it first happened

The kisses are slower this time. They're not rushed, not as needy. They take their time exploring each other, feeling what's comfortable, what feels good. It's new, the kissing, and they will have to find how to do it properly. But for the most part, there's more smiling than there is kissing

"Reki?" Reki hums against Langa's lips, not quite ready to pull back completely. "Reki, what does this make us? Does this make us boyfriends?"

The realization hits like a truck. He could be Langa's boyfriend. Never in a million years did Reki think that would happen

"yes? I think? I mean, I want to" "does that mean we aren't best friends anymore?"

Langa's eyes and big and wide and worried. He knows he shouldn't laugh, but Reki can't help it. He can't help but laugh, pressing a kiss Langa's cheek

"no, were still best friends, man. Nothing can change that. And I mean," Reki ducks his head, rubbing at his nose, "it's like what they say in all those Hollywood movies. You know, the cheesy romcoms? In those speeches when the main characters get married? That they're marrying their best friend? Not that were getting married! I didn't mean us-!"

Langa's kisses only got sweeter with time. A quick peck cutting Reki off before he fell into a panicked ramble. "I get what you mean. I just... I don't want to lose you. You're the only best friend I've ever had." "What about boyfriend?" "You'll be the last one."

Reki is satisfied with that. He's more than satisfied as Langa is pressing another kiss to his face, then to his mouth. How long had he wanted this? Reki has no idea, but now that he's got it, now that he's got Langa, he's happy.

[rjhpandapaws]

A Hand in the Matter

Chapter 12: Adopted by Strays

"So tell me about Garrett.” Silas said as he settled onto Richard’s couch. It was one of his rare days off and for once he wasn’t spending it at the theater, “What’s he like?” Richard rolled his eyes at the protective lilt to Silas’s voice, ‘Gavin.’ He corrected, ‘He Is Kind. Different From You And Connor. Rough Edges. Noisy.’ “You don’t normally like loud.” Silas remarked as Richard brought the drinks into the living room. ‘I Know.’ Richard agreed, ‘Something About His Noise Brings Comfort.’ “He brings liveliness with him.” Silas said, and then more absently, “Like Allen.” Richard paused. He hadn’t heard this name before, and he didn’t think he had been meant to now. Silas had let on that he made a new friend at work, but had never given a name. There was something in the way he said it. A reverence to it that he normally only reserved for Daniel. ‘Who A-L-L-E-N?” He asked. Silas froze for a moment, “Shit.” He scrambled to recover, “He’s just a friend from the theater, a new security guard. No one important.”

Richard stared at Silas over the rim of his mug. There was more to it than that. “No.” Silas responded, “Don’t you look at me like that. I’m here to talk about your newly acquired problem, not mine.” ‘Who Said He Was A Problem?’ Richard replied and Silas let out an annoyed huff. “Okay so I might be projecting a little.” He continued, “Anyway Gavin. Tell me about him. Starting why he was here for a whole fucking weekend.” Richard gestured to his now decorated apartment, ‘We Redecorated. He Is Friend From School. Very Kind. We Met At Cafe. He Has Cat.’ “There it is.” Silas said with a laugh, “He has a cat, that’s why you like him so much.” Richard rolled his eyes, ‘So Who A-L-L-E-N?’ “Fine.” Silas said with false annoyance to his voice, “I suppose it’s only fair that I tell you about my new friend since you told me about yours.” Richard nodded and waited for Silas to decide what things about Allen he wanted to share. There probably wouldn’t be much, but he clearly left an impression on Silas.

His brother was a private person. Both of them were really, but Silas did it oddly. Where Connor would avoid the topic or politely decline; Silas would give non-answers or selectively give information. Even though he didn’t typically say anything that helped to make it so someone understood the situation, they would feel like they did. He gave the illusion of transparency. It was the reason so many people thought they knew him well without actually knowing anything about him. There was a quiet sigh that marked Silas as being ready to talk, honestly, “He’s just a guy, there isn’t anything remarkable about him. Tall, brown hair, and eyes to match. You could lose him in a crowd without even trying.” He stopped and looked down at his tea, “But I always know he’s there. Even when I don’t see him. I’m hyperaware and I hate it. He’ s nice though, before you worry. Concerned for me not too unlike Daniel, but different at the same time.” ‘He Sounds Interesting.’ He didn’t really know how to respond. He wasn’t good with emotions, that was more of Connor’s thing. “He’s great.” Silas said it like a confession and Richard smiled.

‘I Happy For You.’ Richard said. Silas hummed, “Thanks.” They stayed like that for a while. Silas was back in his own thoughts and Richard let him be. He knew his brother had plans with Connor later so it was better if he got this out of his system now, otherwise Connor would go full big brother mode and that never ended well. “If you ever feel like it, you could introduce me to Gavin.” Silas said eventually, “I’ll be on my best behavior, I promise.” Richard smiled, this was a small gesture but it meant a lot since he’d never had a friend of his own, ‘After Finals.’ Silas nodded and placed his empty mug on the coffee table, “Sounds like a plan.” He looked at the time on his phone, “I’m gonna head home for a smoke and a shower. Connor wants to go out and do something now that we both have the time.” Richard could understand that. He needed time to decompress before going out as well, ‘Have Fun.’ “I’ll try.” Silas remarked as he stood, “I’m sure it will be fun once I’m ready.”

He walked Silas to the door and they hugged before Silas left. He did the dishes and put the mugs away so he wouldn’t have to do it later. Richard took out his phone to see if Gavin wanted to hang out. His most recent message was from Gavin letting him know he had plans with friends tonight. Gavin talked about them a lot. Chris and Tina, he seemed to like them and Richard wondered what they were like. They had borrowed Tina’s truck when they took his closet doors to be recycled but that was the closest he had come to meeting her. Richard was perfectly content with just Gavin, but he would like to meet the people he thought so highly of. The people who responsible for that stupid shit eating grin that always meant that he caused trouble and had gotten away with it. To thank them, he supposed, for making Gavin so happy. He put his phone away and went into the room that served as his office. He could draw for a while and then he’d probably go to sleep. He and Gavin had plans to study tomorrow and one of them had to be in a good state of mind. He figured Gavin would probably have a hangover from drinking more than he should have.

The sketch unsurprisingly turned into another drawing of Gavin. He looked up sports bar interiors so he could do the piece justice. Gavin was leaning on the table in his usual manner, with one forearm resting on it to prop it up the other elbow resting on it with his free hand gesturing in the air as he spoke. It took Richard a while to decide what the drink would be, but he eventually decided on beer. Gavin didn’t seem the type to do fancier drinks. When he checked the time again it was two in the morning. What was meant to be a sketch was now inked and flatly colored which wasn’t anything that he planned on doing. It was in his personal sketchbook so Gavin wouldn’t have to see it. He didn’t want to run the risk of creeping him out. He sat back and stretched with a sigh. It was time to call it a night if he wanted to be able to concentrate while they were studying. He picked up his sketchbook and put it in its place on the shelf. Away from his other sketchbooks so he didn’t run the risk of mixing them up. After that he got ready for bed.

He woke up his usual time. He rolled to turn of his phone alarm and found he had a few messages from his brother.

Connor: Hey. The cafe is going to be closed for a while. Connor: A pipe burst last night and there is a ton of water damage Connor: You’ll have to have your study dates somewhere else for a while. Me: Don’t worry. Just be safe. Me: They aren’t dates

Richard knew it would be a while before Gavin woke up. He had gotten a couple of drunk texts he still hadn’t been able to decipher. He finished getting ready for the day and deiced it was late enough in the morning to text Gavin and see if they could figure something out.

Me: The cafe is close for a few days because a pipe broke. Me: Is there another place we could meet?

About an hour passed before his phone chimed with a reply from Gavin.

Gavin Reed: There’s a place near me called Pawsome Coffee. It’s a cat cafe if that’s okay. Me: That works. Can you send me the address? Gavin Reed: Sure!

The cafe was a little out of his usual walking range, but it was nice out so he figured he could try. If he left now he could make it there by their meeting time. The walk was pleasant and he had caught his breath by the time Gavin made it. He was a little late, but that was normal. The cafe wasn’t too busy when they walked in, but it wasn’t long after they had opened. They ordered their drinks and settled at a table by the windows. He was barely able to get his things out before he was buried in cats. It started with a weight settling across his shoulders and he looked to find a short haired white cat lounging there like it was normal. Two more hopped onto the table. They grey one pawed at him and the rust colored one seemed content to just watch him. A black one settled in his lap and he was officially buried in cats. Gavin took sympathy and went to get their drinks once they were up. “Well aren’t you Mister Popular.” He joked as he set the drinks down and grabbed the rest of what they would need since he was significantly less trapped, “Normally it takes them a few visits for them to warm up to new people.” ‘I Not Do Anything Special.’ He said then pet the grey cat that was still persistently pawing at him. 

Gavin settled in at the table, “I think you just have that effect on cats and some people. Are you even going to be able to study like that?” ‘Yes.’ He replied as he stopped petting the now sleeping grey cat, ‘S-I-L-A-S worse.’ Gavin laughed, “There is that I suppose.” ‘Will You.’ He pressed. “Yeah.” Gavin said as he opened his textbook, “I used to study here all the time before I adopted Franklyn. She doesn’t like it too much when I come home smelling like other cats.” ‘Dirty Cheater.’ Richard signed in a deadpan. He wasn’t ready for Gavin to start coughing. Richard hadn’t seen him pick up his drink. That had been bad timing on his part. Gavin laughed as he caught his breath, “God damn it Richard, you can’t just say things like that when a guy is drinking his coffee. You could have killed me.” Richard rolled his eyes. He was being just as dramatic as ever which meant he was fine. They finally began studying, and Gavin had fewer questions than Richard thought he would. He was glad that Gavin had made so much progress. Especially since midterms started on Monday.

It only took him two hours to give in and pet the cats that were on and around him. Gavin had done well today and they both deserved a break. It was a stretch to justify his distraction, but it was the only way he could do this without feeling guilty. “Hey. So I have a question.” Richard looked up when Gavin spoke, he looked almost uncomfortable, “Chris and Tina were wondering if they could meet you. Apparently I talk about you a lot and they’re curious. Obviously if you don’t want to, just say so and I’ll let them know.” ‘Not Today.’ He didn’t have the spoons, ‘This Weekend Maybe? If You Not Busy?’ Gavin nodded, “How does Saturday sound? That’s Chris’s day off.” ‘Saturday Works.’ Richard said, ‘Can We Meet Here? Hand Brewed Hope Not Open.’ Gavin agreed an spent a little more time telling him about his friends. It was nice to know what he was in for. They sounded like fun and Richard was actually looking forward to it. They parted ways with plans to meet back at Pawsome Coffee on Saturday. He didn’t have the energy to walk back so he hailed a cab.

With meeting Gavin’s friends on the horizon Richard didn’t worry about his midterms at all. He was too busy worrying about making a bad first impression. He was a little odd according to most people and a lot of people didn’t take his being nonverbal very well. They always assumed that he was being rude. Gavin didn’t seem to mind it so he hoped his friends would be the same. When Saturday rolled around Richard wound up at the cafe before it opened. The walk had helped to clear his head but anxiety still bubbled beneath his skin. When the cafe opened he settled at the same table as last time. The same cats as before made themselves comfortable on him again. Chris was the first to show up. Richard noticed he had hearing aids and some his anxiety melted away. His being nonverbal wasn’t going to be a problem it seemed. He introduced himself and they went up to order their drinks. They signed to one another until Tina slid into the booth, then Chris began to interpret for him. It was nice. Gavin was the last one to show up, late again, but no one really cared.  He set his drink on the table and picked up the cat that was beside Richard so he could take its place, “I swear you keep treats or some shit in your pockets.”

‘I Thought You Said I Have Captivating Personality.’ Richard teased. “With people as well as cats apparently.” Gavin remarked as he rolled his eyes. “Captivating personality huh?” Chris laughed. “Oh shut up Chris.” Gavin said with no real anger to his words. Tina looked a little bit lost, “So am I the only one that doesn’t know Sign Language then?” “Yeah.” Gavin shrugged, “But I’m still learning so don’t worry.” ‘I Teach You If You Want.” He offered. Gavin spoke for him, “He said he would teach you if you would like. Or we could add him to the group chat.” “Why not both?” She replied, “But it really sounds like he has enough on his plate with tutoring you so Chris can teach me instead.” She gave Chris a gentle shove, “Lord knows we have enough time with all the hours we spend on patrol together or at our desks.” “Thanks for asking T.” He responded dryly, “But we aren’t here for that.” “True.” She agreed, “We’re here to have coffee and a good time.” The conversation picked up some after that. It was a lot of reminiscing, and despite not having been there for any of it, he still felt included. He learned a lot about Gavin and it was nice.

“We go out for drinks at a local bar on Fridays if you ever want to join us.” Tina offered as they got ready to leave. ‘Sounds Fun.’ Richard replied and Gavin let out a put upon groan. “We can cab together then I guess.” Gavin said with a slight smile. ‘Thank You.’ He was looking forward to it despite the fact that he didn’t drink. They went their separate ways outside of the cafe. Richard flagged a cab and felt his phone buzz.

Chris added Me to: Oh No! Its the Cops. Me: Thank you for today. I had a lot of fun. Tina: Of course! it was great to finally meet you. Chris: See you Friday! Gavin Reed: I’m in danger. Me: Only if you don’t take care of yourself. Tina: I like him Chris: Same

Richard smiled at his phone. For once he wasn’t nervous about having plans. He supposed he belonged to a group of friends now. It was funny how fact things could change. He still had his brothers, but now he had a group of friends of his own. There would be no more being passed between baristas and actors. Better yet, this time he wasn’t afraid. Even if he was, he had people he could turn to now.