#his expression is so funny I think it's post worthy

[mochimellowd]

I usually don't post my little doodles but I found this one quite funny

his ass is tired but of what

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

The concept of Lilia raising fem Silver is so cute and endearing. Imagine Lilia and fem Silver having a tea party together surrounded by silver's animal friends while Lilia is dressed up in a pink tutu dress and ROCKING it.

Raising a human child is a lot more different than raising a fae child, but get this; Lilia would have to learn that at a certain age, fem humans get their periods (Assuming fem fae don't have periods?!). Either way, he would panic or be chill about it. He would also have to explain what menstruation is, lol.

Period cramps can be so bad. Luckily for Silver, Lilia knows how to wash blood stains with COLD water (considering he saw a lot of blood in war). He would bring her snacks and comfort her best to his abilities, and he would make sure to keep menstrual products in the house or carry some with him for emergencies. I know, I'm just rambling at this point, but idk it's really cute to think how Lilia would raise fem Silver.

So, while i agree with you that Lilia would raise normally just like how he raised Silver in Canon, i do think there are quite a few differences, especially when it comes to such things such as Periods, buying bras and so on.

[Other Lilia raising fem!Silver posts here and here!]

In my original post, I was speaking only from a socialization angle since a lot of what we see as "gender norms" are the result of how we were raised and taught. On that front, I don't really see Lilia changing one way or another. Of course there would also be biological differences that Lilia would have to become accustomed to, and those he would have to tackle differently.

I imagine he would mainly ask the Zigvolts for assistance in this regard, since they already help with watching Silver while he's busy with other matters in canon. Even if we assume that female fae do not menstruate, Mr. Zigvolt is a medical professional who would have some understanding of menstruation (due to taking A&P classes), even if his specialty is teeth. He could at least refer Lilia to the proper resources or a medical professional with more relevant knowledge. If we assume that female fae do menstruate, then Mrs. Zigvolt could be comforting and understanding of Silver's situation. Maybe even Sebek's older sister could pitch in as well!

Either the Zigvolts could explain menstruation to fem!Silver or Lilia could? Knowing how… tactless… Lilia was when dealing with Silver learning he was adopted though, it might be a mixed bag. Lilia might go for a silly explanation, an actually wise one, or he might pull out all the stops and try to reenact the story of an egg cell being expelled from the body via hand puppets. When fem!Silver isn't feeling well, Lilia can sit by her bedside and sing (screamo) lullabies or recount tales of his travels until she's soothed off to sleep.

Imagine Lilia having to take Malleus aside to explain how menstruation works to him too (when Malleus shows confusion at fem!Silver kneeling over mid-training). Maybe Sebek would already know about it because he has a decent sized family and he expresses his concern in the typical Sebek way. "Hmph! If you find yourself faint, it shall be an easy victory for me—but there is no glory in that. Sit this one out, and once you’ve collected yourself then you shall be a worthy opponent!”

... But it would be sort of funny if Lilia asks the QUEEN of Briar Valley for help on this 🤡 "Your majesty!! My little human child is gushing out blood from down there, does she have a wound? Will she bleed out? Should I be concerned") I also find it really ironic that Lilia, an infamous retired general, probably already has knowledge of how to wash blood out of fabrics due to his experience in war. Now he can repurpose that skill to help out his daughter 😂 Just don’t trust Lilia to make snacks for fem!Silver cramping up, he’ll only make the cramps worse with his cooking…

Anyway, I enjoy the idea of Lilia being a father that supports both Silver's (traditionally) feminine and (traditionally) masculine interests and is secure enough in his own identity to engage with them. He'd have so much fun dressing up with Silver and having those tea parties with the animals out in their yard.

[kdyism]

STUPID CUPID. 

pairing. haechan x reader

genre + themes. friends-to-lovers, fluff, smidge of angst, christmas-themed, college!au.

wc. 5,342 / warning. christmas, mention of kissing, being drunk, dumb decisions, mistletoes.

synopsis. after being victim to jaemin’s cupid-ing last christmas, lee donghyuck has to figure out whether he wants to give up on you or go for it while risking the comfort of your friendship because he think you don’t remember last christmas.   

secret santa hosted by @neowritingsnet​ for @kthpurplesyou​ | hi bee! it’s me santa watermelon aka yunan <3 hoping i was mysterious enough and you are shocked, i hope this fic is to your liking! i switched writing between morning and night so it took longer, i wanted to drop it on dec 20 so that you’d have time before celebrations in case you do. crossing my fingers and sending this out to you, bee, i hope you enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it 💞💖💓

yunn says hohoho likes, comments + reblogs are appreciated, i hope everyone else enjoys this quick fic! 

Lee Donghyuck is known for his infectious personality. He can leave a mark of his existence within a few seconds, he knows way too many people and most people would just think he is someone with too much free time on his hands.

“Did you get a name from the box?” unfolding his paper while maintaining a neutral expression, he sits in his usual seat and you bite down on your lips, eyes sparkling as soon as your eyes fall on the unfolded paper in your hand. “Let me guess?” narrowing his eyes, he hums. “...Taeyong,”

Gasping quietly, you nod chaotically and show him the name. “How’d you know?” you ask, a smile crawling onto your cheeks and you twist in his direction, your eyes looking directly behind him.

“When you see someone’s face as much as I've seen yours…” Donghyuck pursues his lips, “I would be an idiot not to know,”

Rolling your eyes at him, you dismiss his comment and continue with your preying. “How’s your schedule for this month?” you inquire, slipping your phone out of your pocket and suddenly, you look determined and shift your eyes back to him. “God, are you that happy?” he churns his face, watching your shake excitedly and your lips barely holding down a grin.

You gush in response, “Of course! You know I want his number,” skipping away from him, all he could do was sigh.

Waving you off, Donghyuck tries to hide his disappointment; unsure whether it was directed towards his paper or because of yours. Lee Taeyong, your most recent crush-ish, is a post-grad whose taking the same course as you for the same reason, extra credit. Donghyuck is already familiar with your boy of the week kind of crush-ishes—it’s not quite a crush, more like surface-level infatuation but if he didn’t know you any better, that’s what he would’ve thought.

However, it has never bothered him. Not until a stupid thing happened last Christmas.

Last Christmas changed everything, no warning or heads-up was given. He still remembers the night, unlike most nights at parties. He was sobered up, mind buzzing with all kinds of things until he was finally asleep on your sofa at almost 4 AM. He blames Na Jaemin for what happened, from his needless matchmaking to his punch-worthy grin, everyone knows that Na Jaemin’s favourite hobby is playing Cupid, going to all sorts of lengths to get his couple of the month to date. Hell, Donghyuck has actively participated in the talking up of girls, spreading rumours and finally, getting the ‘Characters’ to go on their first date.

It was funny and oddly satisfying when they do end up dating, Donghyuck for one wasn’t one to interrupt the fun. Not when he was directly getting the kick out of it. Except, he realized, it’s not very fun when the character line-up had his name written in the main leads.

hyuck💞: im booked all month

hyuck💞: why???? did you have something in mind???

“I hate him.” you declare breaking the silence that he embraced, “He said, ‘Uhhh I don’t know you…’ and left! Ugh, I didn’t think—”

“You didn’t think what? That he would be a normal person and be cautious when a sophomore is asking for his number?” he cuts you off snarkily and you drop your jaws, putting your hands on his shoulder and asking, “And why would he be cautious?”

Cupping your cheeks with a smile, Donghyuck says, “One, you are not me.” raising his brows, you wanted to flick him but you let him continue. “Two, don’t you remember someone leaking Sehun—whose also from post-grad— his number was just spreading like disease between group chats, of course, they’d be more careful,”

Letting out an “Oh”, you pout, slumping weakly as you understand his reason. “Are they friends?” you wonder, Oh Sehun was also hot if your memory serves you well but he rejected you without hesitation and then you killed his memory along with your fascination with him.

“Yeah—we don’t really have that many post-grads,” releasing your cheeks, your face falls before you pull yourself up and you click your tongue at him and he shakes his head.

Donghyuck’s reasoning always changes your mind, he was the reason you were even in the social club, to begin with. He was friends with everyone, always making plans with everyone and you’d barely ever see him if not for your meticulous planning to match your schedule with him since you were naturally more free than he was with both his part-time and his “Hey, whose name did you get?” you ask, remembering that he was friends with Lee Taeyong as well.

“Why would I tell you?” he glares at you, backing away and immediately guesses, “I am not going shopping with you,”

Slapping your hand over your mouth, “How’d you know?” you splurt, your hands dancing in the air trying to show him your surprise. “Yeah, you’re obvious,”

Donghyuck could easily predict what was going on in your mind, not always but usually he could. From his second month of being your friend, he already knew that you thrived on being nosy. The way you made friends with people by letting them complain about their problems to having new crushes on every new person who you saw for the first time—there might be just one reason why Donghyuck would like some distance between the two of you.

“You know mine, why can’t I know yours?” you ask not looking away from him while he packs the study material he already knew you were going to ask that, so he scoffs wearing a smirk. “It’s supposed to be secret santa, not un-secret santa. Now,” he pauses, waiting for you to stand up again and he begins walking out of the hall as you follow closely beside him, mumbling, “That’s unfair…”

“To the cafeteria?” you ask and he nods.

“Yeah. so, I wanted to say but you keep shutting me up—Anyways, I am not going to see you until the Christmas party at Mark’s,” Donghyuck stops as soon as the elevator sounds, “I am blocking you and going on a detox,” stepping into the elevator, he leaves you behind stunned.

Just as the doors slide back, he smiles while saying, “I don’t wanna see your face anywhere near me, okay?”

To hyuck💞: you cant do this you hurt me 🤕🤕

To hyuck💞: im sorry what did i doooo??

To hyuck💞: unblock me plsssss 🙏🙏🙏

To hyuck💞: what will i do without you??? i need you bro

Message failed to send

There aren’t many nights where he quietly stays in his room, ignoring your text and pressing block on you. There have been times like tonight when the heart beating in his chest feels more painful than usual. He has never been the type to cry through the night. The ceiling of his bedroom is comforting, the mould collecting in the corners every winter, reminding him of his chores, and normally, he'd be on his phone scrolling mindlessly through social media and thinking about how he was going to be a better person tomorrow than today. Usually, they happen a lot later than 10 PM and only after he has spent his day with you already.

For one, he’s glad that no one could tell of his awful crush on you.

Christmas has always been easy, it's been pleasant, and unlike most seasons; the holiday season always gets him in the mood for a big gathering, cosying up with his friends and just enjoying their presence without having to mess around and it also makes him less of a troublemaker. He doesn’t follow Yangyang to the skating rink nor does he annoy Renjun in the library and he also leaves Mark to do his good thing of the day without bothering him about that club that opened a block away from college. He was even fine with you telling him that you’d be going out.

With someone who wasn’t him.

He was fine.

Until Last Christmas happened.

“I’m coming in!” Jaemin’s voice brings him back to his room and he sits up, sighing heavily. “Are you staying home tonight?” he asks as soon as the boy enters the room wearing his strawberry-patterned apron that a junior of his gifted him.

“Jeno has a project so he’s staying with his group at the library—I have been left behind,”

Rooming with Jaemin was a last-minute decision, when his dorm lease was up he was going to resign it, however, after your fingers held his hands this spring, shaking with excitement and your lips stretched in a smile, reminding him that you only lived ten minutes away from Jaemin. Before he knew it, he was signing a new contract with Jaemin who couldn't hide his mischievous eyes for him.

"Did you block Y/N?" Jaemin sits on the swivel chair in front of his computer, casually pulling the cord of his wired mouse. "I sent her back home saying you weren't here just now,"

"She came here?" Donghyuck bursts, eyes wide and Jaemin laughs, "Of course not."

Groaning, Donghyuck throws his head back in defeat. "This is all your fault. If I didn't kiss her at that party we wouldn't be going through this," he grumbles, closing his eyes and flashes of last Christmas pass by.

It was picturesque, so perfect and the heat of his lips on yours—he would've never guessed that you'd taste like wine.

You hate wine.

Jaemin rolls his eyes, dismissing the accusation. "It's not my fault you have a superiority complex about knowing where all the mistletoes are,"

Offended by that, Donghyuck gets off his bed and stares down at the boy who continues to grab his copy of the Forza Horizon 4 and strut back to the door. "You hang it up there knowing full well that me and Y/N always take that spot," Donghyuck said and he receives a loud hah from his friend who pulls the door open.

Jaemin looks him straight in the eye, his characteristic sweet smile on his face and he said, "Maybe you should've just been a big boy and kissed me instead,"

And well, he wasn't wrong, so Donghyuck resorts to slamming his face into his pillow and raging at it, screaming while swinging his legs recklessly until his shin stabs against his bed frame and gives him genuine reason to scream out. God, if you were here, you'd have a look of worry painted all over your face while you still laughed at his pain and to be honest, Donghyuck thought you would look nice against the background of his room.

Turning to lie on his stomach, Donghyuck wiggles in his bed to get comfortably under his sheets, and he unlocks his phone, your image glowing on the screen. He has an album full of just you. You love sending him pictures of yourself, outfit of the day, and once in a while, when you look really nice, you'll send him a decent picture that he would lose his mind about but all he responds with is an emoji, the one with two eyes looking sideways.

Gulping down frustratedly, he clicks off his gallery, and suddenly, his screen cuts with notifications.

leemark: u helping on 23?

leemark: please?? jisung broke his arm u know he can't help me now

leemark sent a sticker

you: you owe me one

Working graveyard hours, twelve-to-four, has its unexpected silver lining. Most people are asleep during this time and anyone awake usually just want to get home, aside from the hooligans who mind their own business if you mind your own because of the cameras placed inside the convenience store and the patrol team in the area from two-till-six because of recent crime level increase in the area. To Donghyuck, it was perfect for a decent-paying, low-effort job.

The one downside of this is, you live super close to Jaemin and share the same convenience store as them. Of course, he'd see you if you decided to visit the store at this time.

Donghyuck didn't think of you as someone hot before, casual dating was not his mind when it came to you and you were always busy being interested in whoever is new. Maybe you liked the unfamiliarity of them, the fact you didn't see them for consecutive weeks before they suddenly appeared in front of you, unlike the two of them, Donghyuck has been in your life consistently for the past two years and this year, something changed.

The pulsing of his heart, when the store's automated doors slide open and your familiar pyjama hoodie comes into his view, the way his lungs forget to breathe and he can't tear his eyes off of you until you make your way up to the counter with your BBQ pringles and cola on the side. "When are you gonna unblock me?" even your voice is so sweet now, his brain shooting fuzzy chemicals inside him and butterflies making his knees go weak.

Donghyuck doesn't want to like you.

"You know the schedule, wait until the party," scanning the codes of your items and billing you up, he takes your exact change, sliding your snacks to you.

"Can't you give me a reason? What did I do?" you ask, stuffing your snacks into your hoodie’s pocket and Donghyuck groans, you didn't plan on leaving, he could tell. "You saw my text and didn't reply, you could've just replied then—"

"That's just stupid, I blocked you as soon as I remembered I said I would," he argued back, clicking his tongue at your exasperated expression.

Giving up on that point, "Nevermind that then, just give me a reason then," you said, Donghyuck grumbling internally and you stare at him, waiting for a reply.

"Didn't I tell you I wanted a detox?"

Waving him off, you glare at him and ask again, "Am I toxic? To make you need a detox from me?" your eyes tingle, the heat making its way up to your neck and you mentally curse, you've never been able to argue without feeling the urge to cry.

"That's not what I mean by detox. I just need some time from you, my life is a mess right now you are at the centre of it," Donghyuck explains, his hands automatically holding your face and rubbing away the tears that brim in your eyes. "I don't mean to make you cry—with all the time away from me, you can go and try to snag Taeyong! Come on, you have a life without me in it too," he adds, his voice softer and fingers gently crease your cheeks, earning a pout from you.

You spit, "What's that supposed to mean?" you take his hands away from your face and wrap your fingers in his, "Taeyong isn't you, no one is you. You are not replaceable for me,"

Tears bubbling up again, Donghyuck shushes you and he doesn't want to feel this way; his chest clogs up and renders him breathless in front of you, and he feels guilty. "Hey, hey, come on don't cry," he frets, his fingers wiping away the tears and settling on your shoulders. If only the counter wasn't in between you, he knows for sure he'd have hugged you and given up already.

"You know, your touch always makes me not cry," you laugh, remembering the time when you almost broke down in class after getting an F and being required to repeat a course the next semester. He held your hand the entire two hours of the lecture and even stayed with you until you were back home. You didn't even know him too well back then.

It made your heart kinda race for him but the comfort of your growing friendship with him felt too precious.

"That's because you are like a baby, holding you will make you calm down," he exposes you, rolling his eyes as if it were an obvious truth and you scoff, "Just how many people do you think hold my face like I'm a chipmunk?" killing the mood, Donghyuck sighs, "Well, at least you are okay now,"

"Unblock me now," you said, regaining your reason once you've calmed down and he shakes his head without hesitation, suddenly regaining his previous determination. "Yeah, no."

A Y/N-detox isn't feasible if he thought about it, not when you've carefully matched your schedule to his because he is always working or has appointments with other friends, you work at the cafe down the fast food cabin he works at, take the same bus home as him and worst of all, you both share the same friend groups because of how much time you spend together as a collective.

"Do you guys like, hate me or something?" Donghyuck deadpans, slumping into the seat you were previously sitting at.

"You hate yourself," Renjun quips, his eyes not leaving his book and Yangyang nods in agreement while adding, "You didn't think it would be a good idea to tell us you didn't like her anymore? We would've not invited her,"

"We could've also made a group without you in it," Mark said, resting his head on the wall and dozing away. He had finished a shift and was supposed to work one more shift today because his junior broke his arm but thank the heavens, Donghyuck said okay and is covering the shift. Too guilty to go home, Mark has resorted to staying around until the end of the shift anyway.

Mark, unlike Jaemin, was Donghyuck’s only refuge. The one person who knew about his crush and the one person who told him, hey, she might like you. "Dude, just go home," he says, shaking Mark's shoulder and Renjun sighs.

Renjun says, "I tried already, he is just being stubborn," closing his book once he bookmarks it and crossing his arms on the table. "Now, you need to tell us what happened,"

Renjun has always been perceptive of his mood, always keeping up with the latest drama and the main provider of information to Jaemin's cupid hustle. Romance was just his forte. Donghyuck, though, was too scared to ask him his opinion on it in case he told him to just give up—as if he wasn't already trying in his own way.

"Promise me you won't laugh," Donghyuck gulps and Yangyang grunts loudly, "Dude, miss me with the suspense—We swear, now what happened?"

Inhaling, he blinks away into the distance. "I might be in love with Y/N and I am so ashamed to come out with it. I know it's stupid but you guys know how we are, it's always us together, Donghyuck and Y/N, we're friends.

Shit, I even blocked her to get over her but it's not working—I dreamt of her last night and it was so embarrassing to see her today,"

"Dreamt of her… like… like that?" Yangyang asks, his fists covering his dropped jaw and Donghyuck's face burns up at the suggestion but he doesn't deny it, much to Renjun's disgust, he gags and says, "Please don't give us the details,"

"She's been going insane on her own and constantly going on about you—this must be why." Mark nods as if a bigger picture was drawn in his head, he grins and goes on, "Jaemin wasn't joking when he said you liked her last Christmas. I didn't think the mistletoe trick would work,"

Gasping at him, "You knew!" Donghyuck points at him in accusation and grabs his collar, "That kiss messed up our relationship!"

Yangyang breaks them up, grinning at Donghyuck sleazily, and he says, "Dude, tomorrow's party, just fix it. There's nothing to lose—I can't believe you've dragged this on for a year, how adorable."

Two weeks without Donghyuck and you are but a shell of yourself.

It was so easy getting used to life with him, he came in and went out so nonchalantly. You hadn't realized how involved he was in your life until he was gone from your daily transit, he was gone from your walks home, he was gone from his shift at the convenience store and not a single text you sent him went through. No, your life didn't revolve around him but you include him in everything because, Donghyuck will think this is funny, you need to tell him about the stupid fight that happened in the café and Donghyuck will look good with this, you need to take him shopping with you.

Shit, you sent him a picture of random things that made you think of him.

There was only once that you thought you liked him, and you shot that down as soon as he said he liked a girl in his social club—you even joined the club for him, how could he like someone else… you gave up as soon as your heart latched on and to be honest, you were okay with that because well, he was still the closest person to you.

You didn't need the kisses to feel loved. His gentle hands creasing your cheeks habitually and his warm hugs because he feels like it, they made you feel loved. The way he makes time to see you in his busy schedule, you know he leaves hours in his day because you'll ask him for time, which makes you feel loved as well.

It didn't make sense for him to suddenly shut you out, not when he was leaving all these signs, he didn't do any of these with anyone else—last Christmas meant something to him.

You just knew it did.

"Have you guys seen Donghyuck?" you ask, holding your red cup of punch barely full and your head feeling dizzy.

Pointing towards a corner, "I THINK HE WAS WITH MARK," Yangyang screams at the top of his lungs, the earmuffs doing their work to shut out even his loudness.

Lee Mark throws the most exciting Christmas parties every year in his apartment building in collaboration with his neighbours. The shared pool and backyard were completely theirs to use, Mark would normally hang up mistletoes in the spaces between his apartment and everywhere else. The kissing begins as soon as you want to leave his front door anywhere else. And you never leave his apartment, so you never had to deal with the plant.

That wasn't the case last year, someone had hung up mistletoes inside the apartment and exactly at the spot you and Donghyuck always beeline to, that's where everything changed for him and out of nowhere, you had to be the one acting normal because he wasn't.

Stumbling your way into the living room, it wasn't too crowded in here and it usually only had Mark's closest friends loitering around. Your eyes immediately find Donghyuck, laughing loudly and he leaves his beanbag, and almost instinctively, you plop down on it as soon as you near it.

Fading out of consciousness, "Who said you could sit there?" he whined, his eyes half-lid as he grabbed your hand and you shot up, your head feeling clearer now.

You always steal his seat when he leaves to get a refill. "I was just keeping it warm. You don't have to yell," you said, jutting your lips out. Your cheeks painted in a flushing colour, Donghyuck guessed that you already had your share of drinks and made a mental note to leave the party soon because he was your ride home. Not that he'll be driving but even walking you home is considered a ride.

Well, maybe not this time because you guys didn't come together.

Letting go of your arm, you fall back onto the beanbag, and he gives you puppy eyes. "I wasn't yelling," Donghyuck grumbles, getting shoved to the side by someone and he turns to face them.

"Are you okay?" Jaemin asks, his lips almost meeting his eyes in a wide grin, and Donghyuck immediately has his guard up, feeling a wave of deja vu.

"You look tipsy, aren't you gonna go home?" Pressing his hand on your forehead, Jaemin looks towards the ceiling above you and smirks. "Oh, look here, guys," he gasps loudly. However, Donghyuck could hear the pretentiousness of it.

Donghyuck followed his gaze with narrowed eyes, right above him, wretched mistletoes greeted him in the dimly lit corner of the room immediately releasing a groan. "Ugh, not again!" Donghyuck cries.

Scoffing at Jaemin, he rolls his eyes. "What? You wanna kiss me this time?" he asks in a mean tone, and Jaemin giggled, moving away from the spot while saying, "Of course, not," Donghyuck felt his blood boil, if Jaemin was a cupid, then maybe that song about a stupid cupid was right.

Clearly, his arrows were faulty this time.

Last time, it didn't cross his mind that someone else would be hanging up mistletoes, Mark never hung them up in the corners of the rooms and especially not inside Mark's apartment because he was scared someone would make out on his sacred sofa or worse, inside his toilet. But he learnt his lesson, Na Jaemin goes to extreme lengths to pair up his couples after all.

You then ask, "Then—Are we going to kiss?" your eyes look curiously at him as you pointed at the plant. "It's you and me under it now,"

And from that point, it's never been the same. The last time, he kissed your lips, it was stupid. You were drunk and said okay for the fun of it, Donghyuck could only hope neither of you remember it.

But when his lips lightly brushed on yours, and he realized that tomorrow morning you'll be back to normal, your memory in fragments and he remembers it clearly, the regret that washed over him the next morning when he opened his eyes to the ceiling of his bedroom, the horror that clung to him when his phone was bombarded by his friends curious about how he felt now that he had kissed you.

He was in denial for a whole year.

Once more, "Are we going to kiss again," you ask, your fingers pulling his shirt, you bring him back to the present and guide him down towards you.

Donghyuck's knees go weak, and he falls onto the floor with his breath caught. This time, you are the one taking the lead. "You remember," he breathes out, looking away from you and you give him a tight-lipped look. "Yeah, I never forgot it," you said.

"Why'd you never say anything, I am so sorry about the kiss—" Donghyuck immediately says and you cut him off, —"I didn't say anything because I didn't mind, I actually liked it and I thought you did too because you kissed me twice…"

Perhaps it was the lighting in the room. Donghyuck never thought you looked hot but he did always think you were beautiful, but today, the lipstick you wore made him want to go crazy. "Don't you like Taeyong now?" he just had to ask to be sure and you scoff, rolling your eyes.

Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you said, "You know my fascination with all my crush-ishes dies after I talk to them,"

"But you were so excited for the secret santa," "That's because it's gift giving and that's fun,"

Donghyuck didn't get your name, so he thought you weren't meant to be. No matter how stupid he thinks that idea is now, he still thought it was fate that you got Taeyong's name when you liked him. "I thought you were going to cut me off this Christmas to spend it with him, that's why I came up with the detox… to give you time away from me and me time away from you,"

Biting down a smile, you place a peck on his lips. "Have I ever gone on a date with anyone since you've known me?" you tease, and he immediately says, "Yeah, Yangyang. The two of you go on skate rink dates all the time, I see you guys,"

"That's just you being picky—you don't know how to skate so, of course, I go there with him and not you," flicking his forehead, you click your tongue and went on, "Plus, you always come along anyway,"

"Because I come along, it's not a date anymore,"

"Wow, genius," you giggle, rolling your eyes and Donghyuck sighs into your side, he thinks, his arms are allowed to go around your waist now and he's allowed to keep staring into your eyes.

Your eyes don't leave him either, the thumping bass of the background blending in with the sound of your heart skipping beats and your toes curl, butterflies choking your breath when you say, "Hey, there's a mistletoe here—can't you just kiss me already?"

Dipping his head down, his lips catching yours and this time, you taste like berry punch, your favourite and his hands cradle your face, he still isn't sure if this is the right way to go with you but when your lips synchronise with his, moving softly against his with your hands desperately clinging onto his shoulders.

It took him a mistletoe and a whole year to realize his feeling about you, so maybe, cupid wasn't the only stupid one, he was stupid too. You've been right in front of each other and yet, "Does this mean you like like me?" you ask against his lips.

Smiling, "Just how many people do you think I block?" Donghyuck lets his head rest on your shoulder, the rest of his body going limp as well on the floor, and you pat his back. "Are we together now? Next Christmas, will I be your boyfriend?" he asks weakly, and you nod. Although he couldn't see you, he could tell there was a smile on your face.

"Oh, by the way, do you know who put this in here? Mark doesn't put mistletoes inside his apartment right?" curiously, you point at the plant on top of you and he grumbles, "Na Jaemin," tightening his grip on you. Donghyuck thinks he should give his thanks to Jaemin too because, without him, none of this would've happened.

"Aah, now it makes sense why he came here last year—doesn't he always stay at the pool area with Jeno and that Junior of theirs?"

Nodding, Donghyuck says, "Yeah. He even came up this time too," mentally deciding to spare him this time.

And you giggle, cheerfully saying, "We should thank him, he is kinda like our cupid if you think about it. It goes well with his reputation on campus," the sound of your humming makes him smile, agreeing with you, "Huh, you think so?"

BONUS:

Beknownst to both of you, starting next semester Na Jaemin’s position as campus cupid was solidified using a picture he took once the two of you knocked out in the corner of Mark’s living; Donghyuck’s head nestling on your stomach and your head tilted upwards in a way that looked like it hurt—His greatest masterpiece he said, showing the photo and relying on the great love story until “How come none of you tell me about this?” Donghyuck accuses his friends, shifting his weight to one side and scoffing indignantly.

Yangyang shrugs, “It’s funny. And you guys look cute anyways, what are you mad about?” he asks, his face genuinely looking confused, which makes Donghyuck click his tongue, and Mark asks, “Are you mad we didn’t share the photo with you?” his eyes narrowed, hoping his guess was right.

“How’d you know!” you clap, nodding your head. “Hyuck changed his wallpaper as soon as he got the picture,”

“How did it take this long to find out, though?” Renjun asks, “You’re friends with everyone on campus. It's unbelievable it took you this long,”

©KDYISM, 2022 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

[sleepiexx]

Pillow Talk

Carlos Oliveira x fem!Reader

Note: so sorry I haven’t been posting, I’ve been working a shit ton and I have like no motivation to write

Summary: (Y/N) and Carlos reminisce about the first time they met, in Raccoon City.

Warnings: reader is super insecure, thinks she isn’t worthy of Carlos, but that’s abt it

Word count: 868

(Y/N) woke up and stretched, moving to go into the kitchen and grab breakfast but she was ultimately stopped as Carlos unconsciously tightened his arms around her so tight it felt like the grip of a dead man. Her hopes of leaving or trying to fight his tense grasp were crushed instantly, she’d been here many times before, none of which could she escape Carlos’s impossibly strong hold. At least this time she didn’t have to pee.

She sighed in defeat, turning over and burying her face into Carlos’s chest. She quickly realized that the position was completely impractical and turned her head so one cheek rested on his left pec. His steady heartbeat thrummed in her ears, a calming noise. So calming, it almost lulled her straight back into dreamland if not for Carlos’s groggy morning voice cutting through the atmosphere.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He groaned, holding her even tighter if at all possible. He kissed the top of her head with adoration, making her melt.

“Good morning.” She whispered.

They made eye contact, both of their faces breaking into a wide grin.

“You have bed head.” Carlos teased, messing with her hair which was going every which direction.

She scoffed, reaching out a hand to further mess up his already messy hair. “So do you, dipshit.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and smiled, leaning into the palm of her hand still placed at the top of his head.

“I love you.” He muttered.

She pushed his head down into the pillow and straddled him, pressing a firm kiss to his lips.

“I love you too.” She whispered against them.

Carlos’s arms snaked their way back around her waist, pressing her body against his. He buried his head in the dip between her neck and her shoulder.

“I’m never getting out of this bed, am I?” She joked.

He shook his head, beard scratching her neck. “Nope, never.”

She settled down on top of him, resigning herself to her fate.

She sat, tracing shapes into Carlos’s chest, “Y’know, if you would’ve told me this would be my life back when everything in RC was happening, I would’ve laughed in your face.”

Carlos smiled and laughed, (Y/N) laughing along.

“Oh yeah?” He muttered.

She nodded, looking up at his face. “Yeah, of course, I bet you’d have done the same.”

“Not me.”

“Not you?”

“Nah, I knew from the moment I saw you that I’d make you mine.” He smiled like he’d figured out everything. Like some omnipotent knowledge had been bestowed upon him and he’d never had any doubt whatsoever.

(Y/N) buried her face into his chest in embarrassment at how much his sentiment had flustered her, “You’re so sweet I’m gonna die,” she remarked.

“I’m serious!” He said, “I had the biggest crush on you since the second I met you. Would’ve made it more obvious, but we were kind of fighting for our lives.”

She smiled, staring at him in awe. “That’s crazy,” she mumbled.

“Well now I’m curious,” Carlos began, “when did you start to crush on me?”

She laughed a little bit, thinking back.

“Y’know, now that I think about it, I had a little crush on you back then too. Just didn’t want to admit it because of the circumstances.” The room was quiet for a second before she added on, “I also definitely thought you were out of my league. Still do.”

The last part was said quietly but Carlos heard. He furrowed his eyebrows like what she said was truly unbelievable, sitting up against the headboard so he could get a better look at (Y/N)’s expressions, “Me? Out of your league? (Y/N), come on, there’s no way.”

She sat up too, trying to pull herself off of him, but his hands maintained a steady grip on her hips. “I mean, you’re very handsome, Carlos. And funny, and sweet, an overall catch. I just never felt like I deserved you, honestly I’m still debating it.” She tried to laugh it off, but Carlos’s lips were pressed into a pout.

He shook his head profusely, pulling her closer, “But you’re my everything.” He frowned deeply, “Baby, you mean so much to me. You make me so insanely happy, you make me laugh so hard my stomach starts to hurt, and as an added bonus, you’re absolutely gorgeous.”

“Fuck,” (Y/N) groaned, “you’re so nice to me.”

His deep brown eyes continued staring holes into her own, “I’m not being nice, baby, I’m being truthful. I love you so much and I really hope that one day you can see yourself the way I see you.”

“Yeah,” she whispered, nodding along solemnly, “yeah, I really hope so too.”

Carlos kissed the top of her head, content with that answer— for now.

“Why don’t I take you out today? We could have a nice day out on the town.” He suggested, trying to lighten the mood.

(Y/N) tilted her head, “But I thought you wanted to stay in?”

“Changed my mind, wanna show you off.” He flirted.

Her face felt all tingly and she was buzzing at the thought. She agreed with a small, giddy smile, “Okay.”

[lenievi]

Les Misérables, the musical: things I found worthy of note (seen in Prague on 18th May 2024)

Madeleine/Valjean used a cane and limped

in this version, Javert was shorter than Valjean

when Valjean met Cosette in the forest, he kissed her hand. When he took her away from the Thénardiers and dressed her in the black dress, they held hands and skipped away together. It was cute.

during "Lovely Ladies" there were some threesomes with two guys and one girl

during "Master of the House", Thénardier had several cute scenes with Éponine. They danced together on the table.

during the song, when the second guest came, he had a (toy) cat with him. Thénardiers took it, killed it, cooked it, and served it to him (to go with the lyrics)

sad that during the cart scene, Valjean gave his hat and coat to a random policeman who tagged with Javert because Javert was too busy holding his own hat lol

Javert, played by a 74yo guy, has an aura of being absolutely done with the world and oozing holier than thou kind of attitude. He calls Valjean his rival twice in the lyrics. He also does not have long hair in a ponytail, and he has white hair since Toulon. And his Toulon/Montreuil uniform is chef's kiss

Confrontation: when Valjean was like "pls gimme three days", Javert was like "no *scoffs, shaking his head* no". For some reason, the final fight between them (after they stop singing) was missing, so the scene kind of ended in a way that made it seem that Javert let Valjean go. It was funny because he also wore a weirdly exasperated expression.

During the Arras trial, when Valjean takes of his cravat and exposes his chest (he still has the number on it), Javert just looks at him and then orders Champ to be taken away

Marius kissed Éponine's temple (or forehead) during the scene in Paris when we see grown Cosette for the first time

the café was called Café ABC lol

I think I mentioned this before, but they don't wave the red flag in our adaptations (there are reasons for that), they use the French flag. It's reflected in the song ("Do you hear the people sing?") with "the tricolour will fly" and it was also reflected on stage in a really cool way - they were slowly putting red, blue and white pieces of fabric over a gun to form the French flag (and then in the following scenes, they'd have a real one to wave as if they sew it from the fabrics). The three pieces of fabric thrown over the gun made a comeback during "Empty Chairs", where one of the dead guys was carrying it (which to me symbolized the broken dream because the tricolour flag didn't fly, it stayed as three pieces of fabric)

when Éponine was dying, everyone was crying. Little Gavroche was lying on the ground in some women's lap, crying and being comforted. (Javert was sitting on his chair having the expression of pls let this be over already. why am I still here?)

when they captured Javert, they threw him on his knees and Gavroche was then singing right into his face (and those two were the oldest and youngest ones in the cast). It was fun. Gavroche was really small, the boy didn't look older than 10.

one of the barricade guys carried Gavroche on his shoulders almost all the time (and when Gavroche died, he shouted the loudest). And they appeared liked that during "Empty Chairs" too

Enjolras was the last one to die. He climbed the barricade and waved the flag, was shot and fell down. When Javert came to the barricade, he climbed it (then it got turned, so we saw), and Enjolras was hanging in the middle, covered by the flag, and Javert bowed to him and climbed down.

Javert almost picked up the sewers cover haha

when Javert met Valjean again after the sewers, he was using the formal "you" in the song

when it comes to the lyrics and "look down", I liked how well it was done - our lyrics have "I/we want to exist" and I was curious how it would fit the post-sewers song and it did

Javert jumped from the bridge. Like he climbed up the bridge (and yes, the 74yo guy climbed ladders several times during the show) and then "jumped" and a younger guy plopped down on the ground (= into the smoky illusion of Seine) lol

during the curtain call, Valjean and Javert's actors "high-fived" (but it was on the level of their hips). And Javert's actor got six cans of beer which I found funny.

also during "Master of the House" Madame Thénardier's mic stopped working, so the poor woman had to sing without it for a while until a guy in a suit brought her a handheld mic.

[distort-opia]

Hey what's up. Huge fan of your blog and like your thoughts. I gotta lot of respect for your analysis, your writing, and how you work with the material for batman in general. You've mentioned a couple times or atleast hinted at possible diagnosis for Bruce and Joker, and while I do subscribe to the idea that due to the nature of comics, thier respective mental health issues are more symbolic than literal, I do, however, find it interesting and fun to try to identify them, especially since writers seem keen to slap stuff onto them on a whim. Also, I'm a psych graduate, but unlike you I'm getting my PhD in Communication research but I still work in neuro and psych spaces. Anyway this is my long winded way of asking if you have a general set of conditions that the two have. I personally think that they both have CPTSD and both display traits from both ASPD and BPD but to differing extents. Additionally, for Joker dissociative amnesia is a given, however like most things it's doesn't fit most descriptions for it.

Thank you for the kinds words, I'm glad you like my blog! And hey, another Psych graduate... somehow I know of at least 5 of us in this fandom, it's quite funny.

Indeed, it's tough to ascribe any kind of diagnosis to comic book characters, both because of how inconsistent characterization can be and because of how bad DC's approach to mental health has been. For Joker it's especially difficult, because "insanity" has been written as almost his superpower. Oooh he's so random and crazy! No one can understand his twisted mind! But well, I agree it's still interesting to try and parse the sheer knot of trauma these two characters are tangled in.

For Bruce, CPTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is almost a given, since it's not just that he suffers from PTSD as a consequence of his parents' death, but that he also re-traumatizes himself pretty much every day, by being Batman. And even leaving that aside, there's such a long list of traumatic events Bruce has experienced since then, including almost committing murder or the death of his Robins on multiple occasions. Though I don't know if he matches the ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) criteria that well. Sure, by being Batman he fails to conform to social norms, uses violence and lies to people and does things worthy of arrest-- but it's by no means impulsive, or a consequence of an incapacity to control his actions. Bruce is much too capable of planning in advance, that's his whole schtick. And he's not doing these things with a selfish purpose, to benefit himself; he does them to help others. As to BPD (borderline personality disorder), I do see it more, though not to a large degree as I do for Joker. Bruce is terrified of abandonment, he's got unstable relationships, but that speaks to me more towards him having a disorganized type of attachment and not full blown BPD. When it comes to personality disorders, Bruce is much more on axis A-- closest to schizoid, I'd say (prefers to be alone, appears cold/disinterested in human interaction, limited expression of emotion, seems not to enjoy many activities, trouble with social cues, disinterest in the pursuit of sexual relations). With a dash of C when it comes to obsessive-compulsive traits (overly focused on details, order and rules, needs to be in control at all times, ignores personal relationships for work/the Mission/the Vow, cannot throw things away, rigid and stubborn, inflexible over values or morality).

However, I think a lot of this could also be due to him being on the autistic spectrum. His troubles with social cues, his inflexibility and need for order and categorization... and how successful he is at "masking", which is pretty much what the Bruce Wayne persona is. Besides, the thing is, Bruce is empathetic (though it's complicated). Individuals on the autistic spectrum tend to display intact or even excessive emotional empathy and lower cognitive empathy, with research showing that this can be overwhelming; they might have trouble regulating how much they empathize (potentially due to less self-other distinction) and thus end up avoiding it (like avoiding eye contact, for example). Look at Bruce's Family alone: so many of the people he took in were people he strongly related to, one way or another... this isn't something someone with ASPD would do, for instance.

Meanwhile, Joker's definitely much more on axis B. CPTSD for sure, as well as BPD, ASPD... I'd agree there's a lot of ground for both of the latter, including potentally NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). Joker is suffering through the consequences of trauma too, and he is impulsive, grandiose, reckless, uses violence, deceives and cons people, has an unstable sense of self, etc. Hell, I'd say he has traits that fit histrionic personality disorder too. His need for attention, overly dramatic behavior... I mean, the man nearly got himself killed in Devil's Advocate because he was enjoying the attention he was getting from Gotham so much. And if Bruce is potentially more on the autistic spectrum, Joker's on the psychopathy one, which -- again -- could account for many of the traits described above. I mean, just the first result Google puts out is incredibly fitting (glibness/superficial charm, grandiose sense of self-worth, need for stimulation/proneness to boredom, pathological lying, conning/manipulative, lack of remorse or guilt, shallow affect/reduced emotional responses, callous/lack of empathy). Coupled with ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder) traits out the wazoo, which was an official diagnosis we got in comics for him. Although personally, I think Joker isn't a primary psychopath, but a secondary one. As in, while there's surely a genetic component, childhood trauma is what tipped the scales and led to him displaying these traits. I also definitely agree with the dissociative amnesia, though I'd group it together with the CPTSD, and also tie it to the unstable sense of self characteristic of BPD.

Got a bit too long, but yeah! To differing degrees, one could argue for a multitude of disorders... we haven't even touched depression (though I think Bruce and Joker are more likely to be diagnosed with recurrent major depressive disorder; they have episodes of depression, but don't always display the symptoms). Sorry for how long this took, but hope you found this interesting, Anon. And God, best of luck with that PhD, I hope it's going well!

[ppoppokari]

Hello 🤗 just came back from reading your poly hyunlix and I LOVED it. If you're up to requests, could do a poly Minsung one? Because God knows those two are my weakness

a/n~ oh my god hi!! it still surprises me that people see my writing, even if i do post it, on a public site, on the internet. but thank you so much for requesting! i was literally just talking about minsung to friend so challenge accepted!

also I'm so sorry this was overdue, the rona finally caught up with me :)

❁ when peter met rhino~ dating minsung

*siri play be mine by junji*

~sfw~

🍃minho thought love was simple, fall for one person and you are set for the rest of your life, what a clown.

🍃as soon as he realised he had it in him to pull the two people he was crushing on, he knew he was going to choose both of you.

🍃now jisung will mention it day in and day out how minho gives him butterflies and how oddly enough he likes the feeling. but don't worry, it's just his way of teasing. which is pretty obvious considering you're the one making his heart skip a beat daily.

🍃date nights are rare but when they do happen it's swoon worthy. both your boyfriends live for privacy which results in fast food on fancy plates, wine and heartfelt conversations.

🍃minho is a serial blusher, remind him to wear a coat and he turns to mush.

🍃loving the two of you actually brings minho to tears because it's the only way he can express himself. sometimes he just gets so overwhelmed with the care he receives from both of you.

🍃you basically live in the practice room, what started as you dropping something off for a forgetful jisung resulted in you staying to watch your boyfriends practice. they lied and told the company it was a once off, it wasn't.

🍃also the way you guys compliment each other is sickening, you don't even have to do anything and they will claim you're a regular genius.

🍃you want to see some heartflipping shit? just picture the random pda they bombard you with. the most outrageous being when minho will loosely link his fingers with yours.

🍃 jisung is a funny guy, but he really goes out of his way to appear as the best, funniest, boyfriend ever. his love language is having a damn good time.

🍃 no one would guess that you are all in a relationship, they just think its a disgustingly cheesy friendship triangle.

🍃now while some people claim that they will be in a relationship with "the one" for the rest of your life, the three of your are just vibing. though jisung worries about this he will never mention it. not wanting to jinx your love.

🍃even if that's the case jisung still has a phobia of either one of you leaving. there's no way in hell that's happening .

🍃jisung is the most annoying guy ever and he knows it. his overuse of pet names is purely because he is begging for one of you to blush or scowl at him, he will take both.

🍃small pranks are inevitable so while this is the most serious relationship ever, you also like to torment each other out of love.

🍃minho could easily spend over an hour smugly saying that he is charming enough to date two people at once, but he opts for sneaking his simping into the songs he cowrites.

🍃but since it's minho we're talking about your tribute may come in the form of drive 2.0.

🍃when you decide to take your dates outside you do less dating and more staring at minho, who smirks into his cup of coffee trying to hide how flustered he is.

🍃 minho is the type to playfully scold the two of you for being all over him but that's literally just him saying that he wants more pda.

🍃even if you are living a dream 24/7, your favourite moments have to be when you're on the living room floor stretched out and talking while soonie, doongie and dori take their little cat naps besides you.

~nsfw~

🍃it's kind of scary how minho can seem so indifferent and not mention sex, hell he seems innocent until he gets that glint in his eyes. you better run (to your bed).

🍃jisung is so whipped for dom minho even if minho. he may be wholesome but he will beg for one of you to fuck him good.

🍃 your little hannie is oh so giving, he will play the part of whatever you want, his kink is literally trying out every kink.

🍃minho will only sub if he is exhausted or feeling sentimental. feel free to be rough with him but he lives for the validation that you care for him when he is feeling the most vulnerable.

🍃they are sugar and spice until sugar decides he wants in on the fun that spice is having.

🍃jisung may be a soft giving guy but he has it in him to absolutely wreck you. he will always make sure there are no hard feelings and that all of this is in good fun.

🍃but with minho whispering in his ear, telling him all the ways you deserve to be punished jisung can't help himself.

🍃the marks left behind are sore to the touch but the drastic shift between jisung's harsh words to soft kisses and even softer words is enough to give you whiplash.

🍃both of them have different versions of a corruption kink.

🍃minho wants to break you down in the neediest of ways, he wants to take away all of your innocence and self-control. on the other hand jisung will innocently taunt you, encouraging you to lose your innocent cover. he knows just how needy and sinful you are and is too willing to push all of your buttons.

🍃jisung's tongue is superior, not much can match the sensation of him going down on you or when you decide to wreck his mouth. give it your all, his gag reflex is so good.

🍃basically he has a major oral fixation, he just wants something in his mouth, he doesn't care if it's your fingers or minho.

🍃all of you have such intense sex drives, it isn't as gentle as you would think, you really just lust after each other.

🍃though you would have your gentle moments the majority of the time is spent trying out each one of your kinks.

🍃it's literally so wholesome though, the amount of attention you receive from each other and the lack of judgement is so nice. no matter how dirty your fantasies are your boyfriends will try to meet you half way.

[enhashoutout]

Things I noticed while watching High and Low the Worst X again

I was watching High and Low The Worst X while I was on lunch break and then had more realizations and wanted to write about them lol

These are probably nothing new and someone else probably already noticed these but I wanted to make a post about them sooooo

I’ve watched the movie so many times now idk why I just realized the weight of the three scenes I’m about to talk about. But also I feel like I notice something new every time I watch the movies so I'm gonna cut myself some slack.

Amagai being the only character in the movie who genuinely doesn’t have a sense of friendship/comradery with anyone else.

The first time we see the 3 schools alliance meeting is the opening of the movie, and I remember when I first watched the movie I was like "well damn this looks like a solid ass team" only to find out later that they were in fact not really a team lol 😂 but anywaysss

Watching the movie this time I just realized what Fujin says to Amagai in the first scene in the restaurant where the 3 schools are holding their meetings.

Reiji is first to jump up and say "Let's get this brawl started," and Ghandi jumps in telling Amamgai that their troupes and weapons are ready. Shoji laughs and says that weapons are typical Kamasaka behavior which prompts them to jump at him and Fujin, Raijin, and the other Ebara guys jump straight to his defense while Shoji continues sitting. Amagai tells them to "get us more" while tossing the money bundles in their direction.

Every single fuckin character in this scene's facial expressions have me dying because the disbelief on their faces😂

Shoji looking at Amagai like he's full of shit.

Fujin, Raijin, and Ghandi are looking at him like "wtf?"

The background characters are looking at him in disbelief also like I was WHEEZING when I realized this. Back to the characters who are the main focus of this specific camera frame though, Ghandi and Fujin.

Both characters turn to Amagai with the BIGGEST look of disbelief on their faces and Fujin says "You don't trust we can do it huh?"

To which Amagai says "What's the use in trusting you guys?" and goes on a spiel about how being powerful means you trust no one and not even giving them a slight chance. He also goes on to say that being powerful means bringing everyone else down to their knees and tells the other 3 schools "Just shut up and stick with me. I'll show you what it's like to be at the top." Ryo's face when he says this is a whole other conversation for another day.

I'M SORRY BUT THE LOOKS REIJI AND SHOJI GIVE HIM AFTER HIS LITTLE SPIEL HAD ME ROLLING🤣 Like both characters gave him the most judgmental expression and then you got Shoji over here looking away and rolling his eyes PUH-LEASE I AM DEAD🤣

Aside from all of this being extremely funny to me, this plays into my point from above. Yes, all these looks are super funny but it really shows how as "bad" as the other guys are they still run in the same way that Oya and the other S.W.O.R.D gangs do, through friendship and comradery.

Fujin asked "You don't trust we can do it huh?" because Ebara most likely runs on comradery as well. You don't pay someone to do shit for you, they just know to trust each other to get it done. This is a concept that Amagai does not and can not understand because he's been conditioned to believe that the people around him are not worthy of trust or friendship due to his status, they just work for him. As long as he throws money at their feet, they'll do what he wants.

That's like kind of sad actually, the fact that the other "antagonists" of the film still know friendship and he doesn't... I still hate his guts though. We love Ryoki but we don't love his character Amagai.

The way Shoji vs Tsukasa asks Suzaki why he’s working for Amagai

I think everyone can agree that within that 3 school alliance, Shoji Sameoka was the only character with working brain cells (full offense to all the other characters lol no one else in that room had critical thinking skills I swear). From the first meeting we see, the audience can already tell Shoji is the only character who has doubts about this alliance but also questions it; while everyone else has doubts but proceed to just follow Amagai's orders. This eventually leads to Shoji being the one to suggest that Ebara drop out of the alliance because he thinks it’s stupid which then leads to him agreeing to Todoroki’s terms of dropping out of the alliance if Todoroki wins against Fujin and Raijin. I feel like Shoji as a person judges the other characters based on what he knows/hears about them.

We see this when he confronts Suzaki. Shoji asks Suzaki why he would come to Senomon and work under Amagai when he was the one running Nami High. Suzaki tells him to mind his own business. Shoji is asking Suzaki from a place of strength. Based on the dialogue, it seems like Shoji knew Suzaki and Amagai’s reputations before this alliance. I deduce this down to Shoji knowing that Suzaki was the strongest at Nami High and knowing that Amagai isn’t actually physically strong compared to the other characters, he just likes to cause trouble and make others work for him. People fear Amagai not for his strength or skills as a fighter, but simply because he has the money and status to be at the “top”.

This brings me to believe that Shoji was asking why someone as strong as Suzaki would even work under Amagai who is clearly not a match for him strength wise. It seems like Shoji is asking Suzaki why he would be scared of Amagai’s money and work under him when Suzaki is clearly stronger. I think this is because the Ebara guys ranks are based on their strength/who is the strongest (I make this assumption from the fact that Fujin and Raijin are straight up gym bros lol) so Shoji can’t understand why Suzaki is working under someone clearly weaker than him.

Tsukasa’s question is the same….. but also different.

Tsukasa strikes me as someone who really gets to know someone personally to the best of his abilities before he makes his own judgment on them. We see this with Rao in the movie. Tsukasa could’ve taken everyone’s word for it and been like “oh Rao is a big mean monster” but he takes it upon himself to find out who Rao actually is through Mercy. This is how he finds out Rao isn’t actually all that bad like the stories suggests and that Rao fights for good reason (for his siblings). This trait about Tsukasa is why he asks Suzaki why he fights for Amagai but is also why he’s the only one who is able to understand why Suzaki fights for Amagai without a direct answer.

When Tsukasa asks Suzaki why he works for Amagai, he says “why do you work for a guy like him? Does he has some kind of dirt on you?” and Suzaki just keeps quiet. This brings me to believe that Suzaki probably had a reputation for being the strongest at Nani High but also fought people within reason, he didn’t flaunt his strength just because he felt like it.

Tsukasa asked him based off the kind of person he is and not his strength. I'm assuming Ryo fought people within reason and not so much for fun or to assert his dominance over others with his strength, so him working under someone who has as shitty of a personality as Amagai probably threw Tsukasa off a bit.

He is also however able to tell that there is a friendship there even if it isn't great. At the end when Yuken and Todoroki ask why Ryo would work for someone like Amagai, Tsukasa says it's because he means more to Ryo than that. Alluding to the fact that Ryo is doing stuff for Amagai because he sees him as a friend even if everyone else doesn't.

Okay, I'm done now😂 this wasn't as deep as my other analysis because it's not super deep with comparisons or anything like that it was just stuff I noticed while watching the movie again.

I have fics I'm working on for all the S.W.O.R.D leaders and more for Fujio I'm just swamped with assignments and working a little slow

[joys-of-everyday]

The two SQQs: SY and SJ

Completely different people? The same person? Reincarnations of one another? Foils?

Aiyah, don't you love it when there's enough content to get juicy analysis but just enough ambiguity for wild theories? There's a surprisingly large spread of onions opinions on this topic which is fun to read though.

It has been pointed out by a number of people that SY and SJ are very different from each other (some interesting bits of analysis: 1, 2, funny: 3). Equally noted are their similarities (nice post here 4), and others have picked out things which hint in that direction, such as the fact SY seemingly isn't possessing the body, and has SJ's memories in his brain (5). Of course the system could very much be operating on different terms to the rest of the world, but it's consideration worthy because a subtroupe of the 'reincarnate into the villain' troupe is 'the transmigrater was actually the same person all along'. Even without going into the nitty gritties of how transmigration works, they are connected by their shared body and name - here's a great post on how SQQ describes his own feelings through og!SQQ (6).

Now then *cackles* *rubs hands*

The Lack of Self

SJ is a former slave who does everything in his power to survive and excel. SY is fairly well-off and has a dangerous lack of self-preservation.

SJ is ambitious without end. SY is a wastes his life on webnovels.

SJ is acerbic and stand-offish. SY is softer and friendlier.

They are different people!

An onion opinion I see a lot are 'they're obviously different people so they can't be reincarnations of one another'. Firstly, like bro, do you know how reincarnation works? If I reincarnate into a slug, don't try to tell me that the slug and I have the same personality. Jokes aside, this naturally begs the question: 'what constitutes our soul?', or adjacent: 'what within us is permeant?'.

Some would argue nothing. (And this is a highly radical statement if you think about it.) This is subtle (I won't pretend to understand it fully), but for example what does it mean to be 'selfless'. To do selfless acts? To be compelled to do selfless acts? But what compels me to do selfless acts? An innate 'selflessness' within me? If right now I can decide to stop doing selfless acts, that means I am no longer 'selfless'. So that innate 'selflessness' isn't in fact permanent, so can it really be something I own? On the contrary, if I can't just decide to stop the compulsion to be 'selfless', can that compulsion really be called 'me', since I am not in control of it?

Even without going so far, it's clear that our experiences have a deep impact on who we are. Take Bingge and Bingmei. They are different people, yet they are the same. Their divergence started at age twelve. Now at age twelve, a human is still rather squishy. Some studies suggest (the Best Source is Wikipedia Obviously) that human personality shows most active development between the ages of 20-40 (note Bingge was in the Abyss between ages 17-22).

Fundamental characteristics vs outcomes

Okay, 'they could be the same and still different' isn't particularly useful, but something that could be argued with SJ and SY is that they have the same personality seeds, expressed differently. 4 does this (see above), adding a few points.

Acerbic. Neither SJ nor SY are really people people. SJ’s love language seems to be blatantly insulting people (poor YQY). SY’s interactions with PIDW and Airplane bro need not be explained (they’re hilarious) (and also, SY was an internet troll). But SJ’s acerbic attitude pushes people away from him when he needs them most, while SY’s snarky wit is a joke to whoever has the honour of witnessing it. SJ is perceived as a violent and hateful person (‘I’ll kill you’ he says to at least two people he ends up saving the lives of – Shi Wu and LQG). SY, having grown up in a much less violent society and having much less violent ways of expressing this stinginess (calling for the castration of a fictional character vs. saying you want you co-worker dead), is perceived as far more lovable.

Difficulties with communication. Both SJ and SY are infamously bad at expressing themselves. This gets both of them in trouble. But SY’s difficulties in communication primarily arise around his feelings and his sexuality. He doesn’t have the same distrust of others as SJ, arising in SJ from his many childhood traumas. So while SY manages to create a disaster with LBH, he manages to maintain amicable (if hilariously frustrated) relationships with everyone around him. SJ? A lot of his difficulties with communication come from his strained relationship with his past. He is unable to admit weakness. He cannot ask for help. Ruins everything.

Empathy, but in a funny way. SJ is a funny one. He goes out of his way to save people with no gain on his behalf on several occasions and yet he continuously tries to tell you he’s evil. Then there’s SQQ, who justifies letting a bunch of teenagers die by being like ‘oh they’re book characters’ but then clearly feels uncomfortable about it as soon as it starts to happen. Both of them have this weird way of internally dismissing the fact that they do – in fact – care about people. The stark difference between them is that SJ is much more comfortable with murder and violence, although that’s very much explainable by his background.

Anyway, I could go on (their insanely unreliable internal monologues, their negative self-perception, how they both pretend to be people they aren't...) but the point is that the same personality traits, nurtured in different environments, can produce very different results. On one hand, this is a narrative choice - SY and SJ's parallels are precisely what makes them good foils of each other. But also, these connections are what allows the various reincarnation/SY=SJ with memory loss theories to float. (Then again, different people can have similar personality traits.)

The influence of roles

‘Qingqiu’ is the title of the Qing Jing Peak Lord as much as a name, to SJ as well as SY. So what does it mean to 'be Shen Qingqiu'? (parallel question, I like Doctor Who, what does it mean to 'be the Doctor'?).

Both of them are actors. In their own way, they are acting Shen Qingqiu – the (emotionally constipated) scholar, aloof and restrained. This isn’t like a… bad thing, inherently. We all have different 'faces' for different social situations – people act differently towards say, their boss or teacher, as opposed to their close friends. There's a tendency to view this as 'acting' as opposed to an illusive 'true self'. While there's definitely scales to how authentic you are being (you might feel like you're 'acting' far more around say a coworker as opposed to a close friend), but you could also argue that bundled together, this so-called 'acting' is precisely what makes you you. In acting Shen Qingqiu, both Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu become Shen Qingqiu.

The Influence of Body

Slightly more on the side of metaphysical bs, the body is the bridge between your consciousness and your body. Since we don’t do a lot of body hopping, we don’t often appreciate just how much your body influences your perception of reality and the way reality works around you. (Apparently the bacteria in your gut can influence your moods. Like, isn't that crazy?)

SY is in SQQs body. At least after the Lingxi caves, he is comfortable in that body. He experiences the strengths and limitations of SJ’s physical reality. On a wider scale, he experiences (at least for the first few months) how the people around SJ interact with him. Very literally, he is in SJ’s boots. How could that not rub off on him?

It’s quite interesting that all the peak lords thought ‘oh he lost his memories, that’s why he’s like this’ and just accepted that. Their mannerisms were similar enough for that to be plausible. That might be a sign that they're somehow connected on the level of souls, or it might be something that's written into SJ's body.

(Theory that the mushroom body was 3-4/10 similar to SJ okay bc he used SJ’s blood, but also cuz SY sees himself in the mirror so often that he’s unconsciously accepted it as his own face, the way your internal image of yourself changes as you grow old.)

Same People From Parallel Universes

A sister onion opinion to 'they're different people so they can't be reincarnations of one another' is 'they're different people so they can't be the same person' (I know, the question is funny). Mirror universe in Star Trek anyone? It's the evil twin troupe right?

Conclusion

Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu are pretty different! They also have some interesting similarities. Experiences make you what you are. How much of what you are? ...well that is up for debate.

And of course, for the purposes of writing fanfic, 100% endorse going crazy on the theories. I love Shen siblings. I love SY=SJ for angst purposes. I love SY and SJ ripping each other to shreds. I love SY and SJ making each other better.

[cremeriie]

i do not have any more funny osvald art to post right now (or any, like, serious art either.) BUT i have been rotating him and the other 8pathies in my mind for a month now and i must ramble about him + them or i will explode!!!!

so anyways, here are some various osvald being a Dad™ to the travelers headcanons, bc i have. many. (under the cut for your convenience.)

osvald isn't very a "touchy-feely" guy. but, on a particularily anxious day for the group, when agnea asks him so sweetly if she can braid his hair, he can't say anything but yes. how could he deny her, when the earnest joy that lit up her face reminded him so much of his daughter? when evening came and the travelers returned to the inn, it took everyone much internal strength to not mention the flowers woven thoughout his, surprisingly luscious, locks. they knew if they said anything he would pluck them out, and it was rare to see him indulge in something so openly beautiful.

in a similar vein, every one of the travelers has slept on his shoulder at least once, much to temenos' chagrin, who would kill deal with anyone that dared mention the time he drooled all over the only decent coat osvald owned. not like osvald cared, anyways. his clothes were simply a means to an end. temenos felt bad regardless and made sure to scrub extra dutifully when it was his turn to do the laundering.

ochette takes this a step further and jumps into his lap whenever she can. she always wants to hear about the books he's reading, the theories he's thinking up, or just about his day. castti finds them asleep like this, once, with osvald's arms wrapped protectively around ochette and her cheek smushed against his chest. the sight makes her smile warmly, but she cant help but feel sad at how he never looks at peace, even when at rest.

throné is prone to indulging in self-destructive habits. most of the time this manifests as reckless pick-pocketing but sometimes, on worse nights, she takes to the tavern. osvald finds her one night, already three deep, and sits beside her. he leans close and speaks quietly, but intently. the tavern keeper couldn't hear their conversation, but he was glad to see the two order only coffees for the rest of his shift, and the girl with a much more content expression.

hikari, fresh on the run from his kingdom, secretly confides to osvald during a night watch shift together that he doesn't truly believe he is worthy to be king. that anybody else could, should, do it, but not him. osvald is quiet for a moment. he suddenly begins to explain the basics of fire magic. how it's an element that anybody can tap into, but only few who are gifted with its blessing can fully master. since anybody can do it, there should be no need for these masters, and yet, who else do the people trust to warm their homes and light their streets? hikari takes in the information before letting out a small grateful smile. he thanks osvald for the lesson and they lapse into comfortable silence.

one eventful day, in the ever opulent merry hills, partitio and osvald found themselves trouncing (well, parti trounced, osvald stalked) through the town, stopping at any stall they crossed to try and find some rare herb castti had heard of. finally, after an hour of searching, partitio laid eyes on a single bundle of greens for sale, and at the very last stall too. he put on his winningest smile and approached the vendor. osvald watched, disinterested, from a distance. crowds were bothersome, and he was thinking how much he'd like to be back at the inn when he heard a sudden offended spluttering coming from the stall. it seemed like the vendor had offered her, frankly offensive, price and refused to budge on it. osvald was sure partitio could have handled it himself, but the thought of a haggle session exhausted him and he decided to end things before they started, by taking a long stride behind his fellow traveler and looming over them both. all he had to do was raise an eyebrow, before the vendor crumbled and offered the herbs for half off.

[sect-leader-jiujiu]

so i was reading this post by @lizzieonka and something occurred to me. idk if somebody else has said it before, but i was thinking about the part in op where it says that jc is harsh on the outside and loving on the inside because that’s how he was raised to show love. and. it made sense.

like, look: to jc, jfm didn’t love him, yeah? jfm, according to jc, didn’t even like him. and how did jfm act? polite. never raised his voice. no physical contact. barely addressing him if not necessary (ie never asking why jc was sad or how his day went, etc).

now. how did yzy act? loud, angry, constant criticism, maybe she swatted at jc (or maybe not, but i’m trying to get to physical touch, which: that final hug between them where she wanted to get him back inside her womb), threatening whoever diminished her son (rather than consoling him, she went directly for the threat to the danger). and jc KNOWS yzy loved him. jc knows, by the end of her life, that her proud to a fault mother would give her life gladly to spare his, and that she sees him worthy of her own spiritual weapon (zidian).

alright. so. to me, it makes sense that, even if i don’t think jc is an exact copy of his mother because he has significantly more nicety in him and less unrestrained rage, he would express love the same way that the ONLY parent who loved him did. he threatens to break jl’s legs, swats at him, gets angry, threatens others on his behalf (“who made you cry?! tell me so i can break their legs!”) but he would do ANYTHING for jl. he is just doing things the way he has learned to do them. be harsh, show no softness, but he is allowed to feel softness. and jl can definitely sense that jc loves him very much. to me, jl does not act as if he doubts jc will back him up (snitching to jc about mxy!wwx right at the beginning, lying to jc and letting wwx escape later on, etc). he is completely confident that jc will not hurt him, because jc loves him.

so TO ME i can explain away jc’s tough exterior with yzy because…. well. isn’t yzy the person who most loved jc? at least, that jc knows? because let’s be honest, jc doesn’t find out about the core transfer until the very end, and jyl gave her life for wwx, not him, so of course jc would think that yzy was the person who loved him the most. she died for him. she believed in him to wield zidian and carry on her legacy.

so OF COURSE that jc is not going to treat jl like jgy in being polite and nice (like jfm acted) or funny and teasing like wwx because, to him, that’s not how you show love. let’s not forget that, from jc’s limited perspective, wwx abandoned him. wouldn’t that make jc interpret his teasing and light-hearted behavior as “ooh so he didn’t love me after all”? wouldn’t that make jc see yzy’s attitude as the most authentic, valid way of showing that he cares?

anyway. i just love jin ling and his jiujiu 💛💜

[jrob64]

I Loved You First - a Daddy Charming birthday fic for @kmomof4

As many of us in the CS fandom know, Krystal is the best cheerleader, encourager and flailer for our Captain Swan stories. However, she also loves the relationship between Emma and Charming, so I've written a Daddy Charming birthday story for her. l wish you the happiest of birthdays (a day early), my dear friend! Love you!

Special thanks to @cs-rylie and @snowbellewells for checking this story over and leaving lots of lovely comments and suggestions!

STORY SUMMARY: Emma and her father share some special sentiments with each other before he walks her down the aisle to marry her True Love. A canon compliant missing moment for 6X20, just prior to Emma and Killian's wedding.

RATING: G

WORDS: 1083

ALSO POSTED TO A03 and ffn

*********

David Nolan paced in the hallway outside the room where Mary Margaret was helping Emma get ready for her wedding. He could hardly believe he would be giving his daughter away in just a few minutes, and to a pirate, no less.

He remembered in Neverland when he said he would see to it that Hook would never get Emma. David wasn’t too prideful to admit he’d been wrong. Nobody can stand in the way of True Love, after all - he and Snow were proof of that.

And now that pirate, whom he’d tried so hard to hate, was his soon-to-be son-in-law…and his best friend. While Killian was earning Emma’s heart, he was also earning her father’s trust and friendship. So much so that Emma and Mary Margaret teasingly accused them of having a ‘bromance’.

The door opened and Mary Margaret emerged, brushing joyful tears from her cheeks. “She’s ready, David, and she looks absolutely beautiful!”

David pulled his wife into his arms, murmuring, “So do you, Sweetheart.”

She hiccuped a laugh. “You’re only supposed to notice the bride on her wedding day, not her mother.”

He leaned back, giving her one of his trademark smiles. “There will never be a day when I don’t admire your beauty.”

“I knew I called you ‘Charming’ for a reason,” she beamed. After kissing him soundly, she wiped his lips clean of the lipstick she’d left behind and said, “Now, go see your daughter before it’s time for us to walk her down the aisle.”

David straightened his tie and buttoned his jacket, then gently rapped his knuckles on the door. “Emma? May I come in?”

“Sure, Dad,” came her reply.

He turned the knob and slowly opened the door, peeking around the edge of it. His breath hitched when he caught a glimpse of his daughter. She was truly a vision in her wedding gown and veil, causing him to blink back tears of his own. “Oh, Emma,” he breathed.

“How do I look?” she asked nervously, twirling in a circle.

“You look…perfect,” he managed to choke past the lump in his throat.

Her cheeks flushed at his praise and she looked down at herself, smoothing out non-existent wrinkles in her gown. “Do you really think so?”

“I do,” he assured her.

“Hey, I think that’s my line today,” she giggled.

David laughed and stepped forward to take both of her hands in his. “Any second thoughts?”

“None,” she said confidently. “Besides, if I don’t marry Killian, you might just snap him up.”

“Very funny,” he said, narrowing his eyes at her. Then his expression sobered. “I know you’ve had a lot on your mind the last few weeks, but I want you to put everything aside today and just enjoy your wedding.”

“I’ll try.”

“I’ve thought about this day ever since we found out we were having a daughter. I was sure no one would ever be good enough for you, but Hoo-, um, Killian has proven himself time and time again. I suppose if I have to give your hand in marriage, it couldn’t be to a more worthy man.”

“You didn’t always think that.”

“I know, but I was, well…I was wrong.”

“I’m sure Killian would be very satisfied to hear you say that,” she quipped.

“Of course he would,” David sighed. “But enough about Hook. What about you? How are you feeling?”

Emma’s face took on a serene look. “I’m happy, Dad. Really, really happy.” She swung their still-clasped hands back and forth.

“Happiness looks good on you,” he replied, letting go with one hand and using the other to spin her around. Then he pulled her back toward him, putting his free hand on her waist as hers moved to his shoulder.

They slowly danced in a small circle around the room to music only they could hear. “We missed out on so much of your life, Emma. I’m very glad we didn’t miss out on watching you fall in love and marry the man who won your heart.”

“I know we lost a lot of time with each other, but let’s not talk about regrets today, Dad. We’re together now, along with Henry and everyone else in town. I have more family and friends here than I ever dreamed was possible. And I’m marrying a man who has been at my side without fail, even when I didn’t really want him to be.”

David chuckled. “He has proven himself to be persistent, that’s for sure.”

Their swaying came to a stop as Emma looked up into her father’s face. “You and Killian are such good examples for Henry. He’s lucky to have both of you in his life, and so am I.”

They heard the wedding music beginning to play, and David checked his watch. “I guess it’s about that time. Will you allow me to get a little sentimental before we leave this room?”

“Just don’t cause me to smudge my makeup.”

“I’ll try not to,” he promised, then took a deep breath. “Emma, from the moment your mother and I found out we would be having a baby, I wondered what our child - what you - might grow up to be like. Nothing I imagined even came close to the person you are - strong, smart, determined, brave, and so very, very beautiful. You’ve defeated dragons, ice monsters, witches, the darkness and Hades himself; yet you’re one of the most loving, generous, and kind-hearted people I’ve ever known. To say I’m proud of you doesn’t do justice to my true feelings. I love you, Emma, and I’m blessed beyond measure to be your father.”

A tear spilled over her lower lashes, and David dug into his pants pocket to retrieve a white handkerchief. After dabbing the wetness away, he tucked it back in his pocket, kissed her forehead, then pulled her into a hug, cupping the back of her head, as usual.

“I love you, too, Dad,” she whispered in his ear.

They stayed that way for several moments, until they heard a tap on the door. Mary Margaret stuck her head in, whispering reverently, “It’s time.”

David nodded and stepped back, gripping Emma’s upper arms as he looked into her eyes. “Ready, Princess?”

“Yes,” she replied firmly.

“Alright, then,” he said, “but just remember this - Killian loves you now, but I loved you first. You’ll always be your daddy’s little girl.”

“I’ll remember,” she said, a soft smile on her lips.

“Good. Now, let’s go get you married.”

*********

Please join me in wishing Krystal a very, very happy birthday!

Tagging: @hookedmom​​​​​​ @kmomof4​​​​​​ @cs-rylie​​​​​​ @qualitycoffeethings​​​​​​ @grimmswan​​​​​​ @wyntereyez​​​​​​ @the-darkdragonfly​​​​​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​​​​​ @paradiselady19​​​​​​ @xarandomdreamx​​​​​​ @motherkatereloyshipper​​​​​​ @julesep3026​​​​​​ @courtorderedcake​​​​​​ @lfh1226-linda​​​​​​ @pawshapedheart​​​​​​ @vampcoffeegyrl23​​​​​​ @tiganasummertree​​​​​​ @captainswan4life85​​​​​​ @bluewildcatfanatic​​​​​​ @eleveneitherway​​​​​​ @elfiola​​​​​​ @kday426​​​​​​ @julieenchanted-swans​​​​​​ @gingerchangeling​​​​​​ @andiirivera​​​​​​ @djlbg​​​​​​ @jonesfandomfanatic​​​​​​ @snowbellewells​​​​​​ @huntressandlioness1​​​​​​ @anmylica​​​​​​ @booksteaandtoomuchtv​​​​​​ @pirateherokillian​​​​​​ @cocohook38​​​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​​​​ @laschatzi​​​​​​ @zaharadessert​​​​​​ @jennjenn615​​​​​​ @yasbio2015​​​​​​ @lyssapup27​​​​​​ @nachocheese-itsmycheese​​​​​​ @singersdd​​​​​​ @mie779​​​​​​ @undercaffinatednightmare​​​​​​ @winterbaby89​​​​​​ @xsajx​​​​​​ @jackieorioncat​​​​​​ @teamhook​​​​​​ @bdevereaux-blanche​​​​​​ @soniccat​​​​​​ @searchingwardrobes​​​​​​ @jarienn972​​​​​​ @apiratewhopines​​​​​​​ @softkilly​​​​​​​ @goforlaunchcee​​​​​​​ @kymbersmith-90​​​​​​​ @captainswan217-blog

[mooremars]

Camelot 2023 Act 2 ramblings about the music and book and also the visuals again because turns out one post wasn't enough.

I still cannot possibly recommend anyone actually read this because it is so absurdly, comically long but I still needed to get even more feelings out.

Act 2, Scene 1: The castle courtyard one year later:

• "We shouldn't be alone together" like girl

• I love how she's almost exasperated by it

• When she fantasized about this all-consuming high-stakes love she probably didn't think about how exhausting it would be to actually live with it all the time

• Like having this conversation every single month does sound exhausting

• The way she's actively trying to drive him out of Camelot, Genny is so much and I respect it

• She's really doing her best in a way that involves truly torturing Lance, he should really do some soul searching about why he loves someone who treats him this way

• "I've trained dogs to chase you"/"And those dogs were fast.. the expression his bark is worse than his bite that wasn't my experience"

• Sorkin slightly breaking the tension of this scene which is so needed

• "You're not English"/"Neither are you"/"I think that changed when I became queen of England"

• I also feel like there is a lot to unpack in this exchange

• "And when would I do that Genny?"

• The angst in that delivery

• If Ever I Should Leave You is so gorgeous

• I think it was Sorkin who basically said that the show doesn't need magic because the songs provide enough magic on their own and this is the perfect example

• Jordan Donica is tremendous

• I knew him from Charmed and it took me a bit to place him but holy shit

• I may have actually seen him before, I'd have to check but regardless I need to be paying attention to literally any theater he does because I want to go

• This applies to all of them, who am I kidding

• Anyway, he's amazing here and I am probably underselling him in this post because I only saw him half the times and so my memories are much less clear

• And my reference is closing which was not him by this point

• And the outro music (? sorry I know nothing about music) is absolutely stunning

• This song is so romantic but also very shallow

• They're fulfilling a version of love that is all big gestures and big feelings but not necessarily substance

• Because they're trying to fill a void in themselves using the other and when you do that, you can't see the person as an actual person

• Just an extension of your unmet need

• Which is too bad because I think if they weren't, they might actually like each other

• But fuck is this song so romantic

• Every lyric is good, the way they're sung, I think I may for the first time have use of the phrase swoon worthy

• Specifically the end

• "I have a thrilling engagement. I'm giving prizes at the potato show. I'm eager to find out what the qualities of a prize winning potato are"/"I'll be at your side Ma'am"/"Thank goodness for that, those potatoes can be dangerous"

• The lines are so funny and her delivery is so heartbreaking, I am suffering

• I do just love Genny so much and she deserves happiness dammit

• "So the rumors are true, the chain of wedlock is so heavy in Camelot it takes three to carry it"

• Mordred coming out with the one liners immediately

• "He's willing to make any old man a knight I see"

• Pelli immediately threatening violence, beautiful

• The whininess of "I shall be busy tomorrow afternoon" and slapping the bench

• Fourteen year old edgelord Mordred

• Very interesting to have him be a year younger than Arthur was when he became king, really underscoring how young he was

• "I was raising by a mother with a fatally broken heart. Makes for a dark childhood"

• Like do we think Mordred is just trying to drum up Arthur's sympathies or is this actually true?

• "And when you speak to the king, you should remember you're speaking to the king"

• Arthur literally never insists on any manner of kingly respect but his son is a little shit that he hates, so he will

• Love that

• "Dispatch to the court, the king has a child he fathered out of wedlock. Problem solved."

• The blackmail just instantly failing is very funny

• Also would love to know how the conversation about this between Genny and Arthur went

• "I'm not ashamed of you. You don't embarass me though it's not for lack of trying."

• That's too generous, Mordred is embarrassing

• "It's always been my wish that you and your mother stay here where I can take care of you both"/"Stay where, in the servants' quarters?"/"In any quarters you like"/"Except the queen's"

• I wonder if Mordred is the one who feels this way or if he's just parroting back what Morgan has said

• "I was a boy when I met your mother"/"And my mother turned you into a man"/"A man named Merlyn turned me into a man"/"That's a new bit of palace gossip"/"No you idiot, he was my teacher"

• Obviously sarcastic Arthur is always a treat and specifically the facial expression and tone of no you idiot

• But just so curious about Morgan and Arthur because Arthur gets pissed at that whole turned into a man bit

• And he has been pretty chill with Mordred being terrible for this whole scene

• He's very much not comfortable with what Mordred is saying and this is the only moment where Mordred gets under his skin and like that is very interesting

• "In this place the law applies equally to everyone"/"Even the king and queen?"/"Especially the king and queen"

• You are literally watching the light bulb pop over Mordred's head and it's played perfectly

• Everyone in this cast is perfect

• The Seven Deadly Virtues has no right to be this funny

• "Making my Beelzebubble burst" is my favorite but really this entire song is great

• It's such a petulant performance and it's perfect

Act 2, Scene 2: The King's study

• Another amazing bit of scene change music

• The intimacy of them spending their evening playing chess together and talking

• Presumably this is just what they do on a lot of nights and I love it

• I feel like there's definitely potential in a their relationship through chess fic

• Someone please

• I firmly believe they are at like a full 50-50 split in terms of who wins

• "Are you really reading while you're chasing me around the board?"/"Sorry I didn't hear you, I was reading and chasing you around the board"

• And his okay in the middle like he knows he set himself up to get mocked

• Making fun of each other is one of my favorite love languages

• Also same structure as Arthur telling her it will seem that she's rooting for Lancelot to lose and she says that's because she is rooting for Lancelot to lose

• It's just a fun little dialouge thing that I enjoy Genny doing

• Makes her lines feel hers

• I love that Arthur has Merlyn's final warning on his mind so naturally he consults Genny

• And then it devolving into a philosophical discussion about what is and is not possible

• "I was 10,000th person to try, how do you explain that?"/"9,999 people loosened it"

• A perfect and funny line that becomes sweet and profound later on, I will never not love that

• "We have greatness in our grasp, humanity does, but for some reason every time we see it we assign the responsibility to some supernatural force. Or to god."

• You would think given the structure of the love triangle that Arthur would be set up to scoff at the idea that god has responsibility for human greatness in contrast to Lance being extremely devout

• And like I do think Arthur and Genny are actually on the same page but I enjoy that she gets to voice that thought

• This is the woman who first ran away and then threw prayer on top after as a little afterthought so yeah perhaps Genny is not the best catholic

• "Perhaps when he died, his soul transmogrified-"/"What did I just say?"

• Arthur immediately needling her and doing that stupid little hand motion on transmogrified

• They're adorable

• "I enjoy seeing you get riled up"

• This is what you say to a woman you're about to call your business partner? In that way?

• I don't know who to blame because I can't tell if the line or delivery is more of the culprit

• No it's the delivery, I have literally put in the audio as proof

• The audacity, I'm obsessed

• He's got it so bad

• Could've had this Genny

• Like Mr. Purity of Soul who thinks women can't possibly understand politics has absolutely never considered the concept of female pleasure, for sure has never heard of foreplay, and definitely believes the clit and g-spot are both myths

• I love Lance but proposition: there's no way that man is good in bed

• Everything else mean I've said about Lance has been out of love but I love Genny and she doesn't deserve mediocre dick

• And yet he's playing by Jordan Donica so it is also valid and understandable

• Sorry, I digress but gotta find the humor in the whole none of them get to be happy business

• But actually I really appreciate that even in this tragic narrative with big ideas and a lot of angst, they get to have fun and be fun

• Even as their relationship is about to hit its breaking point, you can still tell they're not just torturedly in love but they actually like each other so much

• "And while you're enjoying it, let me ask you this... how often do you write to her?"

• Genny is attempting to play it cool but boy is she not

• The little pause between often and write and then to her, oof

• It's so soft but like the hint is there

• The silence while Arthur makes his move on the board, ugh

• "I send a letter a week"/"Every week?"/"Yes"/"For how long?"/"Mordred's fourteen, he came to me when he was ten so four years"/"That's 208 letters"/"I have a responsibility there, I'm trying to do-"/"Do the chivalrous thing"/"Yes"

• It's so painful to hear their deliveries and realize they're having two separate conversations where they're both upset and they don't understand the other person is feeling the same

• Like Genny getting alarmed at 208 letters, Arthur getting frustrated and defensive about it and cutting Genny's last line off, and then Genny delivery of do the chivalrous thing like she's so tired

• It is so besides the point but how exactly was Arthur expecting the fucking soap opera and/or sitcom situation he's trying to create going

• Like his piece of shit kid, his ex who hates him, his wife that he loves whose feelings for him he doesn't have a handle on, and his bestie whose feelings for his wife Arthur definitely does know

• I know castles are very big but I don't think they're big enough to make that situation good for anyone

• "You've never asked me her name"/"Is it Morgan Le Fay?"/"How did you know that?"/"And she's a scientist"

• Genny has been holding this in for a whole year and she's finally ready to use it

• She says it like she's caught Arthur in some kind of lie which obviously she hasn't but I do wonder if she's had this conversation in her head enough times that she's already thinking the worst

• "He blames me for her condition. All the more reason why I want them both to be here at the castle. She needs care."

• That long pause before condition and the way he says it like maybe Arthur also blames himself

• And they're still playing chess throughout this whole thing as if they can pretend that this conversation isn't causing them both pain

• The sound of the pieces getting moved on the board while during the tense silences, yes

• And now we get to me being emotionally destroyed

• This scene is a roller coaster and the writing and acting of it is perfect in every way

• "We're more than king and queen, you and I. Don't you think?"

• He's so unsure, he's always so unsure it is torture

• The emphasis on you

• But also he does in some way recognize that she's upset about Morgan and he gets so close but spectacularly fails

• Genny is so hopeful on the "Yes, yes I do"

• Him stammering out and Genny trying one more yes to get him to come up with something

• And then that something is business partners

• In my brain I am screaming

• I have done nothing but make fun of Arthur for business partners (and friends) since I first saw this show and I will continue to do it now

• However I do think that for him, in the context of his experience being thrust into royalty, he is actually expressing a very romantic sentiment

• He meets Genny and tells her about Camelot and she doesn't think she's worthy of that

• But here he's affirming that she is, that she's his partner in this and he recognizes her worth

• They talk in the second scene and she mentions that as a princess she doesn't have friends

• And here he's telling her that they are friends, that she isn't alone

• And we see how uncomfortable Arthur is being treated as the king

• And he's trying to tell Genny that he cares for her as a person and not just the queen he traded for in a treaty

• He wants her to see him that way because if she sees him as just Arthur and not the king, then maybe he can tell her how he feels

• But also maybe it you are a man and your confession of love to a woman contains the words "I know this is an unusual thing for a man to say about a woman but" you have turned down the wrong path

• "Yes. Friends. And business partners"

• Her delivery is so ice cold, it's perfect

• The fact that she says this and even Arthur picks up on her tone and knows he fucked up

• Arthur trying to fix things and being interrupted

• His frustration with himself is so heartbreaking

• I am still screaming in my brain just louder now

• Pelli is great but also he is the cause of so many of Arthur and Genny's resentments and miscommunications, the man's a magnet for drama

• He's so funny in this scene trying to complain to Arthur and Arthur already knowing all of Mordred's bullshit

• And yelling dammit so many times in the most perfect way like me with every person who has ever annoyed me

• "Because England doesn't have a law against limericks"

• The fact that even though they're in the middle of this weird emotional mess, Arthur looks to Genny when he's talking about how Pelli's question is complicated

• His thinking buddy

• And business partner

• Also the idea that Arthur is so chill with the fact that he doesn't have the answer, that he's laying groundwork for future progress instead of assuming it will be accomplished by him

• Which is just inherently a concept I think I struggle with, that the world will not change in all the ways it should in my lifetime but the work now still has to be done

• So I like to see it

• Not going to write out another good Sorkin speech about ideas but I love this one too rest assured

• And we've had a nice little break, now we're back to chess and Arthur trying to force out something coherent and me screaming in my brain again

• I still can't get over the way they're still playing chess I'm sorry

• Genny saying "you're in check" with a different delivery every time to convey her emotional state

• The range

• Arthur just trying so hard to come up with anything again, I am personally suffering

• "What I feel-"/"I thought it was right on the money"/"Oh you do?"

• Then I think he says "oh okay" but I don't even know

• They were so close this is the worst

• Still chess

• "Do you regret being born a princess?"/"I'm confident that most people would gladly trade their problems for mine"/"But you're not talking to them right now"

• Firstly the show does an amazing job recontexualizing What Do the Simple Folk Do and everything around it so A+ for that

• But also Arthur is so empathetic in this moment

• "I know you're sad sometimes. That you miss whatever life you were searching for the night you ran from the carriage. The simple joys of maidenhood you called it. You do a good job of hiding it from the court but when you feel sad you-"/"can talk to my business partner?"/"Well I think I might be good at cheering you up"

• The delivery is so sincere

• He sees her pain and he cares so much

• He feels responsible for the life that she missed out on by marrying him

• And he wants to help

• In many ways, he is terrible at expressing his feelings but again in some small respects, he does absolutely knock it out of the park

• Even if Genny can't see it

• "If there was a tournament for cheering you up, I think I'd win"/"Oh as long as there wasn't a bird nearby"/"It wasn't just any bird, it was a white tailed eagle both times"

• The way they move from emotional conversations and annoyed miscommunications back to humor with such ease

• Arthur's bird obsession continues to be one of the best bits of characterization ever

• Genny making fun of Arthur's various words for peasants

• I love What Do the Simple Folk Do so much

• It's just perfectly constructed and the rhymes are pretty genius

• I love every single lyric

• And I love that this song gives Arthur and Genny a chance to be charming and reconnect after the second half of act 1 and the beginning of act 2 were so focused on Genny and Lance

• And then this scene has so much going on that it reminds you why they're the couple of the show

• I didn't need reminding because I'm trash for them but other people might

• All of the little jokes between the lyrics are so funny

• The delivery of "the very last thing you should have is encouragement" is so much funnier than on the cast recording

• Like what is this? So charming

• "My father used to say I sang like an angel who'd been blessed with a particularly pretty singing voice"

• I'm so glad this is at least on the cast recording

• She plays it so straight, it's so good

• This may be my favorite of the songs

• And the dance, they're so cute, the squeeling kills me

• I can't adequately express how much I need to find a bootleg so I can witness this again, the whole scene really but mostly this

• I cannot handle the way they say "Genny"/"Your Majesty"

• Fuuuuck

• The groan in the audience at "a letter from my mother", the pure expression of fuck Mordred

• "He's been waiting a long time."/"Yes"/"My mother was his first, you know"/"I had that sense, yes"/"They say you never fully get over your first love"

• Genny hates Mordred so much and she's right

• He's hitting her exactly where it hurts but Arthur can't even tell

• Also fascinating that Mordred can actually see the dynamic between Genny and Arthur and Lance so much more clearly than the people involved

• "You think you might possibly be spending the night?"

• Like her deliveries were getting more panicked but then this one

• Like she can't even believe what she's hearing and he doesn't even get it

• The long silence after Mordred says Lance has the queen's protection detail

• As people make mmms in the audience

• And then their last little exchange

• Ouch

• Genny telling Arthur what she herself actually needs to be told and Arthur having no clue

• "His queen's in danger"

• Mordred is the absolute worst and it's perfect

• The reprise of the Simple Joys of Maidenhood, so sad and I can't handle it

• I think this is her moment of just fully sitting in the idea that her husband doesn't love her and sees her so completely separate from that that he doesn't even understand why she's so upset to see him dash away overnight to see another woman

• And that he therefore doesn't and won't love her in the way she's singing about

• And thinking that she has the knight pining for her but it isn't enough and sets up her trying to make it enough

• She's grown so much since she first sang the song but she still can't fill the void of wanting this kind of love

• But also knowing that kind of love isn't enough

• I love her

Act 2, Scene 3: The home of Morgan Le Fey/Guenevere's Chamber/ Castle corridor - on that evening

• The into music to Morgan is gorgeous, perhaps my favorite

• It's hard to introduce an important character this late into the show and make them so memorable, even if they've been hanging over the narrative for a while now

• And still have them knock it out of the park but once again, this show is perfectly cast

• The tension of this whole scene is everything

• Morgan's laugh and then "Jesus christ it's the king of England"

• Immediately sets her up perfectly

• And we get something totally different out of Arthur

• I love their dialouge which I am once again trying not to just fully write out, I love their chemistry, I love how quickly their friendliness breaks down

• He does sound genuinely happy to see her at the beginning but as soon as he asks if she's feeling well, they start to cool

• I can't even pick specific lines because everything is such a vibe

• You feel the history and complication and the years apart where everything has changed for both of them and the way that she's the one person who knew him as just Arthur

• "I know exactly who you are"

• Like of course this one was gonna have a line reading that lends itself to multiple things but that's always good and I like it

• Genny ranting to Lance about the number of letters Arthur wrote to Morgan

• She finally gets to be pissed and Phillipa Soo plays it so well

• "Don't review my arithmetic in your head, it's 208"

• Even at her most angry, she still must make sure Lance knows she's right, very relatable

• "I questioned the king, we've all questioned the king"

• This adaptation has built in the knights discontent so well that it's believable that they've just been growing more resentful over time

• "Because one cannot legislate goodness Pellinore, which at the end of the day, is the mission of the round table"/"And what say you Sagramore?"/"Well tell me, when we're all equal will peasants live like knights or will knights live like peasants?"

• Their entire speech is amazing

• The knights growing angrier as they realize they're all on the same page

• The way that it all fits seamlessly into the story we see on the stage but there's also no denying it's about the time we're living in right now

• But again, not in a way where it feels out of nowhere or too heavy handed

• "I throw away the letters, I give away the money"

• I love the way she delivers her lines so dismissively

• I wonder how much of it is her feelings and how much of it is trying to hurt Arthur as much as he's hurt her

• "That part gets left out of the legend" I think is the first moment where Arthur gets under Morgan's skin just a bit

• Like I'm not sure what she wants/wanted from Arthur but maybe it was just that she doesn't like being erased from the story

• "What wife could possibly object?"

• I love her bitterness mounting leading up to this line and actually hearing her call herself Arthur's wife which is I don't think is something she does before

• "I admire the king's commitment to doing the right thing no matter what. That's what a man does, and god knows it should be what a king does."

• I love watching Genny justify her anger because on one level she knows it isn't fair to be angry

• That she really does admire Arthur's goodness and believes he's doing the right thing

• That it's not that he's going to see Morgan, that he wants to bring her to the castle, it's about his actions with Genny

• Or I suppose the lack of consideration of her feelings in maybe the most hurtful way where there was nothing deliberate, it just didn't even occur to him

• She's so hurt

• Everyone in this scene gets to be extremely mad and I love it

• "When he ran out of here, he didn't think it would trouble me at all. He didn't think the letters would mean anything to me. Or staying overnight. Mordred said his mother was his first true love. Business partner. He said it right in front of me as if I wouldn't mind"/"Do you?"/"No, of course not. It's just that it was the first time that it's been demonstrated to me that-"/"Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"/"Yes"

• Everything is on her face and in her voice

• She's so hurt, so angry, so tired of not being loved

• And when she says of course it doesn't bother her, when she pulls back her feelings in front of Lance

• And her delivery of yes like something clicks in her brain, probably their entire relationship is flashing in her brain and she's building up evidence that it's true

• Lance has articulated exactly what she didn't know she was feeling

• And the music under it underscores each emotion perfectly

• Again Phillipa Soo is just emotionally devastating in this scene

• But also gotta go back to "Your husband doesn't think of you as his wife"

• Like right now I'm just thinking back to Arthur referring to Genny as French to Lance when they first meet and again when he asks her to tell Lance he's being invested

• While Genny in that scene and in the first scene of act 2 keeps referring to her country as England while Lance claims her as French like him

• I wonder if that distinction is one of the things that feeds into her (and Lance?) feeling like Arthur doesn't think of her as his wife

• That she's trying to keep proclaiming her loyalty and he keeps putting a border between them

• At least in her point of view

• While he's as always trying to show her that he sees and respects her as an autonomous individual and not a thing he owns

• Am I reading too far into this? Probably

• (You're not my homeland anymore, so what am I defending now - honestly that it took me this long to make a Taylor Swift reference is a marvel)

• Anyway back to this tremendous scene

• Part of me does wonder if Lance really doesn't know how Arthur feels or if he's in denial because it's easier for him if Arthur doesn't think of Genny as his wife

• Like he does make a point to tell Arthur in the last scene that he and Genny aren't together

• He's gotta realize in this scene how Genny feels about Arthur but curious about the other way around

• Or ya know, maybe he doesn't, maybe he's just as emotionally inept as everyone else in this show

• Don't really have a point, it's just an interesting thought

• How do so many versions cut Fie on Goodness?

• Like not only is it an amazing song but also it's sort of the whole damn point

• If you cut it, the ideals of Camelot are barely even a plot, it's all love triangle

• Also just want to take a moment to appreciate how gross the lyrics to this one are

• This is for sure my favorite sequence

• The intro speech to the song is perfect

• Them just getting worked up about how England is special, it is better, that they're the ones who should be listened to

• "Don't dare question our loyalty to the king"/"A king who encourages debate"

• Again I just love the knights' conflicted feelings about Arthur

• So it's easiest to shift all the blame to Genny and Lance

• This song is so good, this cast is so good

• "That day that I became king, my cousin gave me his tutor, a man named Merlyn. And Merlyn spoke to me of a great cause that I could lead. But I would have to stay unmarried until a young princess in France came of age"/"And you left me unmarriable, a woman with a child"/"I didn't know about the child until he came and introduced himself"/"You raise your voice to me? Have I displeased you your majesty?"/"Stop calling me that"/"I know all about the French princess-"/"The queen"/"and the grand cause-"/"great cause"/"I don't give a damn"

• This is a stupid amount of text that I've typed out but I love their back and forth here

• Arthur trying to justify himself and not wanting to take responsibility and them both getting angry at each other

• Morgan and her relationship with Arthur have been changed pretty drastically to the point that she's not even the same character and I like it and her so much

• I do wonder what the intent was here because I feel like you could read a lot of different things into their dynamic

• And to what that means about Arthur

• I mean I get the sense that she's maybe always been maybe a bit of an outsider, maybe always was a little more world-weary (or maybe not, maybe getting left pregnant while he became king hardened her)

• And maybe their power dynamic has been completely flipped but also maybe Arthur still has a hard time not letting it flip back

• Because like there's no doubt for me that for whatever reason, she was the one holding the cards originally and he doesn't know how to deal with her now

• Like I don't know if she's older or Arthur was always bad at love so she would have just been the more confident person but there's something there

• She obviously has a completely different point of view than anyone else in the show which I love

• And she gets under Arthur's skin so easily

• I guess because she's the one casuality of his great cause, the one wrong he can't right

• Also "stop calling me that" is so petulant teen

• And he was that when he knew her so of course it comes out

• "You seem quick to betray the king"/"I would die before I betrayed King Arthur"/"Yet here you are"/"I can't rise above being a man, a human man. I can't transcend it no matter how hard I try"

• My favorite Lance line

• Ugh it's perfect

• He's so tortured and so good at conveying that in his delivery

• He's getting some character growth

• Genny being both not wrong but also putting it on him so she doesn't have to think about her own behavior

• "My duty is to god, King Arthur, and the round table. I can best serve all three with my absence. It's a small price for one person to pay for a greater good"

• Ooh the self-loathing hits so good

• And Genny panicking because she's about to get left for the second time tonight

• The playing of If Ever I Would Leave You

• Because he is, or he's at least trying to

• To do the right thing

• Genny and Lance speaking French together, always good even thought I can't understand shit

• "No more talking"

• And the bed just being pulled out of the scene

• I just love how the song is interspersed with these scenes, this sequence is truly brilliant and the energy of it in the theater is truly unmatched

• "All the letters that followed-"/"All the letters that followed offered me room and board along with the cash. Imagine how moved I was by the chivalry"

• Ah mocking chivalry, a family pastime

• Again, I just love the way she goes in on Arthur's attempts to do the right thing over and over

• And again I don't know if it's because he wouldn't give her what she actually wanted or pure vengence

• "Guilty and alive once more" is probably my favorite line from the song

• "Let me ask you this question and I'm entitled to the truth. If there hadn't been a cause, a great case, would you have married me? No."/"I was fifteen years old that night and the next day I was king. I was anointed by the archbishop of Canterbury in York and those men think they put me in direct contact with the divine. There was a cause."

• Clearly in her mind he was never going to marry her but we know from Pelli that when he met Arthur when he was already king, he was still very much in love with Morgan

• More than 10 years (plus then a year that's passed in story) before this could be lots of different amounts of time but it could have been up to a few years into Arthur being king which is a long while

• So the answer was probably yes

• But he doesn't say any of that because his feelings don't matter, he's too focused on justifying his cause, that it was important enough to make up for her life

• And ya know Camelot is what's important now, Camelot is what he and Genny have devoted their lives to, he can't fail

• This is the scene where I just conspiracy board Genny and Arthur's relationship

• This is fine, I'm normal about this show, that's why I wrote all of this

• Either way I think it must really bother Athur that Morgan might think he's not a good man

• We saw it with Genny and the courtesans thing too

• Like obviously part of that was being in love with her but also I think it fucks with his self-image as a person who does the right thing which is his entire life

• And Morgan's the biggest crack in that in his mind which is why he gets angry pretty much constantly in this scene

• At least that's my theory

• I love that we get see him cracking a bit under the strain of being good and trying to rise above being a human being just like everyone else in this scene

• He's got a lot more moral fortitude than the rest of the characters so it just manifests as him getting to be angry and express it to another person for once but still

• He makes excuses, he gets mad, he won't accept that Morgan's version of events is also true and he can't force her to be okay with it

• I don't know, there's something nice about narrative not saying that making the choices of the knights or Genny and Lance is inevitable, Arthur does make the right choices but he still isn't perfect here

• "And I won't live in a spare room in a castle and be the used and discarded former mistress of a king... but I will be the mother of one"

• So like how much of Mordred's plans are Mordred and how much is Morgan?

• And you know used and discarded former mistress of a king is killing Arthur

• "And he didn't"/"What?"/"Put you in direct contact with the divine"/"That is made clear to me every day"

• Morgan did a good job of pretending indifference at the beginning but the more she lays into Arthur, the more hostile things get between them, it's so clear that if the opposite of love is indifference then they haven't managed to get over loving each other

• It's just soured and rotted but won't die

• More so for Morgan because she paid the price, she couldn't move on in the way he could

• "And I wouldn't want to see your face when you realize it didn't make a difference. There'll be greed and injustice and hate and horror. You can change the stuff but people stay exactly the same. No one whose opponent was human nature has ever won a fight. Human nature responds to-"/"Inspiration"/"Fear. And that's it"

• It's so cruel but also a great illustration of the ways that they're fundamental opposites

• "I don't forget anything"

• Another extremely loaded line delivery

• (Don't make an All Too Well reference, don't make an All Too Well reference, don't)

• The panic and realization of "he's not stupid" and the music that builds to it and Morgan's laugh ugh perfect

• The intro music to I Loved You Once in Silence is gorgeous

• Lance and Genny in white feeling guilty as hell is a good visual

• So much regret

• Just instantly

• I feel like the moment they've actually acted on their feelings, they know that it's not only a mistake but also that their feelings aren't actually what they thought

• Well maybe Lance doesn't quite have it yet in this scene but he gets there

• Not to repeat what I said about the first scene in act 2 but

• My take is that they intentionally deepened Arthur and Genny's relationship and Lance's character but not Lance and Genny's relationship

• They intentionally left it shallow

• That these are two people who are missing something and the easiest way for them to get that is to frame what they have as love

• I mean for Genny it's sort of obvious, she's married to a man she's in love with but that she thinks doesn't love her

• Lance makes her feel certain about his feelings for her and that's validating

• But Lance, I feel like I have thoughts but I'm not sure

• Lance has never been forced to reckon with temptation before

• And instead of facing that in himself

• He just makes Genny part of the list of things that define him

• A goddess on earth and a god above

• Along with the table

• And he can worship them all to avoid having to figure out who he actually is

• It's not him admitting he has a human weakness, it's a grand tragic love story that he can suffer for

• And suffering, well that's what lets him cope with whatever about himself he feels is so terrible that he needs to punish himself for it

• He's so terrified to look inward, so afraid of something in himself that he just finds his identity in other people and institutions

• And he can't hide behind that anymore because he's betrayed it all, every single thing

• I feel like this makes it sound like I don't like Lance and I very much do

• He's just particularly flawed because he's the only one who doesn't start the show knowing that about himself

• They all make choices out of self-loathing and fear of unworthiness but I do think Lance thinks consciously he's above that for most of the show even if subconsciously he knows he isn't

• He's the only one of the main three to not really finish his character journey within the confines of this narrative

• Arguably he only starts right now and finally realizes he's not the man he thought he was

• Again fic potential somone???

• Well that was a tangent

• Jordan Donica's performance of I Loved You Once in Silence is so heartbreaking

• "Lance I made a mistake. I'm sorry but you're a good man and I should have been nicer to you."

• I love that, I love that she takes her responsibility (even if she's already trying to cover up what happened)

• But also it's just the clearst indication that acting on her feelings killed them

• She doesn't need to push Lance away anymore to stop herself from doing anything

• I love that Lance tries to surrender peacefully

• He's willing to take responsibility not for his noble suffering anymore but because he is a good man and he knows he's done what he's been accused of

• And he only attacks because he has to

• Mordred's evil laugh

• Lance being slightly disheveled and grabbing Mordred's sword to fight off the guards and escape

• I don't have any kind of intellectual take, this is just a personal problem for me

• My jaw was on the floor when Lance started yelling back about coming for her if he survives

• Such a tense ramp up into Guenevere

Act 2, Scene 4: The trial/The Battle

• Guenevere has such amazing lyrics

• The entire "more than love met its doom"/"came the sundown of a dream" verse destroys me

• And I love every word of added dialouge, so correct to put it on the cast recording

• I feel I must explain my love for the staging of this song some more because it is so simple and I understand that some people are not into it but I so much am

• I love the way they close off the back of the stage for I think the only time in the whole show and it becomes claustrophobic all of the sudden

• Now Arthur is stuck in this little box in front of the audience while everything falls apart for him and that's what you have to look at so there's no getting away from how devastating it is

• We just get some full force Andrew Burnap acting and I love it, I think by now it should be clear that I would

• In other versions that I've seen, there's a lot more happening and we see Genny

• And we see Arthur see her tied to the stake and Lancelot show up to rescue her

• Which I do like in theory

• But we don't really see Genny have any actual role or even seeming to have any particular feelings about what she's done or what's about to happen

• Like she's about to die and I've yet to see a version where I have any idea if she's got a single emotion about that

• Despite the name of the song, I think this show decided this scene isn't about Genny, it's about Arthur

• It's about the consequences of his laws

• It's about the beginning of his new war

• Arthur screaming "Pelli I know" like we see him start to crack

• Oh to know who told Arthur and how he took it

• "Well do something"/"She's under arrest. She's been accused of treason"/"Arthur I understand that you're angry but"/"She's been accused of breaking the law. She has to be judged"

• The delivery of that last line, ugh

• He keeps it impersonal, it isn't about what she did to him or his pain, it's about the law

• The law they lovingly crafted together

• "What a magnificent dilemma: let her die and you're a monster, let her live and you're a fraud. Which will it be? Do you kill the queen or the law?"

• Fuck

• The delivery is so good

• Mordred is having the time of his life shrieking about Arthur's pain

• The killing the queen or the law bit seems to be mostly unchanged and it's maybe the best single line from the original book

• Although it went from kill the queen and your life is over to you're a monster

• Mordred has to know Arthur is in love with Genny, right?

• Maybe he just can't imagine Arthur could love a person more than he loves his ideals which I guess would make sense given Morgan and Arthur's relationship

• Arthur drawing his sword on Mordred!!!

• "Ooh careful your majesty, you wouldn't want to be barbaric"

• The fact that Mordred thinks that's going to work, that he can continue to poke at Arthur and he won't respond, he really does believe in Arthur's goodness doesn't he?

• "You are exiled from this court. Return and I will show you what barbaric looks like"

• Arthur screaming at Mordred with his hand around his throat is so intense

• It's so good

• Another gasp out loud in the theater moment

• Arthur is fully unraveling and I'm obsessed

• "I know my way out"

• It's such a teenage delivery and like Mordred is just a kid who feels abandoned by his father

• And as much as this is a tragedy for the three main characters, it's no less a tragedy for Mordred

• Aging down Mordred, also a great choice

• And again, just another stellar performance

• Every single person in this cast just knocked it out of the park in a way I never could have anticipated

• "Arthur please, I'm an old man and I know I'm ridiculous but for the love of god, it's Genny. She made a mistake, she knows that."

• I love that Pelli loves her too

• That he isn't judging her

• "She broke the law Pellinore. A law signed by the king. So say the people"

• He starts trying to be calm but then the fact that it's his law brings up the anger and then he breaks on so say the people

• He's written his own destruction

• And empowered others to take the decision out of his hands

• I love the dialouge in this scene so damn much

• "Neither you nor I nor god himself can stop this terrible thing that's been put in motion"/"What are you waiting for?"/"I'm waiting for what's inevitably coming next"

• The delivery of coming next...

• Like obviously he wants Lance to save Genny but he knows that no matter what

• No matter if she lives or dies, peace is over and the round table has been destroyed

• And he needs to prepare

• Also the way he frames what's happening

• It's not what Genny and Lance or even Mordred caused

• It's just what's been set into motion by all these tiny and giant choices throughout the show that have bubbled over into the death of Camelot

• "That's Lancelot du Lac out there and he's brought a battalion. Double the guard, triple the guard, those guards are going to die tonight"

• How many times can I just copy a bunch of text and write the delivery

• Because yup

• The lack of hope from Arthur is chilling

• Arthur getting dragged back into the war he worked so hard to end

• Just every line delivery in this scene is perfect

• Every lyric of the song

• Every acting choice

• And I love to see it visually

• Preparing for war isn't an exciting spectacle, it's tragic

Act 2, Scene 5: Outside Joyous Gard - on the eve of war

• The way they fade in on the eve of war just broke my heart every time

• I would love to know how much communication there was between Arthur and Lance and how

• Like how much of a role did Arthur play in the whole Genny not getting burned business?

• And the fact that his first question is whether they've been injured

• Even after everything, he's a good man who cares

• And Genny and Lance too, being willing to come back and die

• They're all good people who made mistakes but still good people

• "I assure you, if I thought it would end all this, I would light the fire myself"

• Absolutely brutal but like after he lays out all the death and rebellion that have already happened I guess brutal is fair

• Ya know, if I thought he meant it even a little

• "Lance, come morning some of your countrymen are going to be at the end of my sword. It's not personal, it's just my job. Stay safe Lance."/"I can't do that. And neither can you. Godspeed your majesty."

• I just love the idea of Lance and Arthur as these two people who love each other spearheading this war neither of them believe in

• It's so tragic

• Their goodbye is so understated which for Lance is like truly a great bit of contrast

• They've had enough big declarations, these few sentences just distill everything perfectly

• And then we come to Genny and Arthur, fuck fuck fuck

• The first time I saw this I spent like all of intermission and act 2 with a loop in my brain of but they love each other, right?

• I am unrepentant trash for them in this version as though that wasn't abundantly clear

• And Aaron Sorkin delivered for me so hard in this scene

• "Please let me die, Arthur"

• The pause before his name

• And now we get to the part where I start to get like teary-eyed in the theater

• "Two very powerful men did this to you... not Mordred and Lance, your father and me"

• That long pause before and me

• I love his whole speech, I almost typed it all out

• And they allow so much silence during it

• And the way he's like trying to hold it together but he can't by the end

• "You were treated like a queen but you were my hostage Genny, what the hell did we think was going to happen?"

• That he recognizes and actually admits the ways that his choices have harmed Genny, the unfairness in the entire situation he's put her through

• That he can see even through his own hurt and the enormity of what has been set into motion, his own responsibility for what's happened

• Like he's not right but he's also not wrong

• "And for it's worth, I've been in love with you this whole time"

• Not even looking at her so we have to see it instead ugh

• And then watch that long silence while Genny just like rearranges her entire view of their relationship

• "For what it's worth? Did you just say for what it's worth?"/"Well I thought maybe you'd like to know that. But I wasn't sure."

• Just smashing my heart into tiny little pieces

• After everything they've been to each other, after all they built together, he still doesn't even know if his feelings will matter to her

• While Genny is getting ready to lose her mind after for what it's worth

• They're so absolutely emotionally inept

• "You weren't sure? Why didn't you ever tell me before?"/"It doesn't matter"/"Why?"/"How could I? I'm the king of England. You'd have been forced to pretend you felt the same way"

• Again they are delivering lines in a way that is continuing to smash the little pieces of my heart into complete dust

• Like Arthur is again not wrong but not right

• His life is so lonely because of this crown he didn't want and his desire to actually be responsible with that power

• And even now he tries to get out of explaining that to her

• I love him so much is the problem

• And then her mmm like all the pieces are coming together in her brain that they've both been suffering for nothing and she is pissed

• I love her so much which is also the problem

• Incidentally, both of these things are also their problem so very relatable

• "Out of curiousity, if I had told you, what would you have said?"/"That I loved you from the moment I saw you, from the moment you spoke, from the moment you sang me that stupid song about the weather"/"It's not about the weather it's a metaphor"/"I know it's a metaphor"

• The way Genny overlaps him asking, she can't even wait for him to finish

• The way she says stupid song

• The way that she's like, I did fall in love with you over that song but also I still hate it and think it's dumb

• She says it with such contempt

• Icon

• Even standing before the wreckage of their lives, they still can't stop bickering about the song, I'm obsessed

• "I prayed every night that one day you would see me the way I saw you. And then you told me I was your business partner. Yes I was and I am in love with you"/"Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse"

• She prayed every night???

• For two years???

• That he would return her feelings???

• Fuck

• Like I don't know if I can convey how much them being in love with each other and thinking it's unrequited for two whole years ping pongs around my brain and just lights up all the synapses

• "Do you really think 10,000 people loosened that sword for me?"/"I do"/"So do I. That's a nice thought isn't it?"

• It is a nice thought

• I love the philosophy of this show, I love that there's no convoluted Arthur is actually the son of the last king so he was destined to be special

• These are just two people who though birth or circumstance ended up in this position of power and chose to do good with it

• Genny begging for just a little more time like the only reason I kept anything together was being in a theater but if feel confident that if I ever get my hands on footage of this show, I would have already been sobbing by this point

• "They won't let me let Lance save you twice so you have to go Princess Guenevere"

• Hearing him call her by her name is so deeply distressing

• Literally not once before in the show does it happen and it hurts

• And then they're playing Before I Gaze at You Again what an amazing choice

• Turning a love song she sang about Lance into this romantic moment for her and Arthur because theirs was the love story the whole time like brilliant

• That they chose the show's first love song and brought it back for Genny and Arthur being unable to leave each other without that hug and that kiss

• Like this song that is originally about the pain of unfulfilled love for the wrong person and then flipping it to the pain of fulfilled love with the right one

• I am so not okay

• Also people did very loudly applaud at closing when they kissed and I was so glad because truly in my head I was doing it every time

• "I love you"/"I love you too"/"God save the king"

• I mean these are some good last words to say to each other, I'll give them that

• The thing about the original version of the musical is that the ending was already a perfect concept

• Here it just feels more meaningful because they lay that groundwork about inspiring the next generation throughout

• Tom trying to con Arthur about his age is very funny

• This kid is so good and adorable

• "You're speaking to a king"/"I'm twelve years old"

• Like his comedic delivery, very impressive

• "And when did you decide upon this nonexistent career?"

• We get a solid 60 seconds of cynical Arthur and that's about it

• The entire concept of this kid being inspired by the stories of Camelot is just deeply moving and beautiful

• And just the entirety of Andrew Burnap's performance of that realization hitting Arthur

• I love a story that's about the power of stories

• People also applauded at the last show when Arthur says the stories were all true which I also just deeply love

• Arthur's I know exactly how you feel when Tom says he's not ready to be a knight and putting his arm around him, so cute

• "And you will return to your home alive"

• The way he says alive

• Like I think Arthur knows that he's not making it out of this

• Even if he would manage to survive the battle and Mordred, he knows his time is done

• But the the future is still there

• And there is about to be so much death

• Some of it from his sword or his orders

• And the rest of it of his men

• But at least this kid, he's going to live

• The reprise of Camelot... I just love it so much

• "I've won my battle, here's my victory"

• Not a new line but just such a gorgeous one

• The entire idea of the story of Camelot as a tragedy but a hopeful one just gets me

• It's such a beautiful conclusion that this version sets up so so well

• I love that we end on a speech again, just like act 1

• Also that last bit of music as they walk off, stunning

• I have attempted to track down as many older productions of this show as I can including the movie which was good but I am biased and I do sort of think Sorkin and Bartlett Sher and the actors and everyone else involved had the more interesting take on the themes and characters

• A Broadway musical is best when it has simple but impactful themes and big emotions

• And that's exactly what this version gave us

• The highest compliment I can give this show is that not only have I not stopped thinking about it, not only did I tell everyone I know to see it, not only did I want to see the show again (and again and...), but it also just made me feel inspired to see more theater in a way I haven't in a serious while

• I just love this show so much and I'm so glad there are some people here who can't get over it either

• This is what I have to offer, the longest possible unhinged rant and bad quality closing audio, that is all

[itsmaferart]

Spy x Family Chap 66 ··· Relapses

······ This contains spoilers for the manga ········

The latest chapter of Spy x Family has obviously left us all stunned, excited and scared. Giving us moments, fun, full of tension and above all intriguing. And there are so many topics to cover after this chapter that I just can't put all my opinions in several posts.

Dichotomy between comedy and drama

Something remarkable in this chapter is how we can see the handling of Endo's narrative. As fans, we always talk about SxF as a comedy of everyday life where we enjoy the adventures of a spy, an assassin and a telepath, trying to preserve world peace through a fake family.

But I think sometimes we forget that within a story, there are two perspectives: The reader's view (us the viewers) and the character's view (within their own universe). In the middle of both, we have the author (Endo) who decides how much information he wants us readers to have.

Why am I explaining this?

Because, while many times SxF gives us hilarious and iconic moments for the fandom, the characters are experiencing a real drama and conflict. It is a way in which Endo shows us a warlike, political, ideological conflict, through three characters that form a family. Although for us the exaggerated expressions, the clumsy and silly actions, and the far-fetched conclusions are fun. They are ways in which each character expresses their genuine concern about something.

For us it's a joke, but for the characters everything that happens is real.

This is perfectly exposed in this last chapter (until now). Although, Endo gives us soft, funny chapters, whose only objective is to produce tenderness and laughter. There are chapters like these that give us tension and suspense

Interestingly, this manga chapter does not need action, fights or epic moments. It is sustained by the tension, the heavy atmosphere and the suspicion that each character generates in us. Every thing that Endo proposes in this chapter is interesting and leaves us with a bitter taste in our mouths.

Relapse

When I speak of "relapse" I mean the way the Forgers, despite evolving as a family and as characters, are still prey to their own fears and insecurities. And this has a root: "the secrets between them"

A relapse is defined as a return to typical thought and behavior patterns that were thought to be outdated

Each Forger believes to be "the only one aware" and is blind to the other realities.

Let's talk a little about Anya...

I love Anya's panels in this chapter: the tense atmosphere, a declaration of battle by befriending the enemy, and an epic attack move! All worthy of a Shonen of epic battles xDD

She is surpassing her fighting level!!

But aside from the comic relief that Anya gives us to relax: It is clear that Anya exposes her fear of being abandoned. Anya has never had a real family, she has been an experiment, she ran away, to be adopted by many families from which in the end she had to flee. Anya has expressed many times her fear of being considered a "freak" due to her telepathic condition. However, the Forger family has been the complete opposite for her. At last he found a home with parents who give her their attention, love, support and care. We have all witnessed how Twilight has harmed the mission for Anya's well-being, he has risked to save her, supported her and loved her despite the fact that she barely manages to stay on the mission.

And yet she is confused by his father's feelings.

When we remember chapter 37, when Desmond first appears, she somehow admits "not knowing if her father really loves her or not". Anya associates that Twilight's love is conditional on the mission being successful, and hopes that if she makes "peace", Twilight will want to stay with her. On the other hand, she has her relationship with Yor, her mom. We all know that Yor is willing to kill (literally) anyone who tries to harm her daughter. Anya has confessed to her father that "no matter what happens, her mom will save her, because she is very, very strong." Anya worries about her mom's feelings and safety, even though she sometimes makes honest comments. He misses her, when she is very absent… and she always wants to have fun with her

And it is here that we see Anya's "relapse" into her own patterns.

Although her parents clearly love her, she still feels like a disposable item. Because she knows that this family exists for the mission, and she feels that if she is no longer the key element for success, twilight will forget about her and abandon her. Feeling the need to compete for her own mother in a fictional battle, completely forgetting that Yor did all of this by "accident" and that her mother genuinely loves her.

….Passing Yor…

The problem Yor is dealing with is her inherent self-doubt. This causes Yor to blindly trust other people and limits her actions to the consent of others. Yor does not trust her judgment, nor her criteria, and her complete lack of interest in politics and ideological positions makes her vulnerable and susceptible. She depends a lot on Tendero, to define what she can or cannot do, or who she can or cannot be with when it comes to important civilians.

But… Is Shopkeeper really trustworthy?

I am very concerned about the way the shopkeeper expressed himself in this chapter. To begin with, he acted "suspiciously" relaxed at the mention of Melinda, but a second later he gave Yor a suspicious look. I don't know how to interpret that phrase or that look:

It seems that Shopkeeper sees the Desmonds as a match on his opposing side. And although there is no absolute clarity about the role that Garden plays in the underworld (I think they are an elite soldier who preserves the order and the imposed rules), the way in which he points out with contemptuous subtlety "that they are a conservative party". …and then, he declares to Yor that he is not sure if he will be able to take action for her later "by not recommending it". It seems that between the lines he said "You can do it, but at your own risk"… So… Yor is an expendable element? Although she is the best assassin in terms of strength, technique and power, if she makes a mistake, Garden will not hesitate to turn her back on her… or perhaps, is this a test to measure her loyalty and cunning? He has already shown mistrust in Yor and his relationship with the family… so I wouldn't be surprised

The second and the most worrying. The interest in Loid Forger and how Yor infers that "Loid found Desmond likable." For the Shopkeeper, Loid went from being a "mere cover for Yor" to a person… suspicious. I was struck by the theory that Garden possibly sends other assassins to watch the family. I don't think he sent Yor. She is clearly not very adept at making observations, or surveillance, besides being obviously "affectionate" with the family…. I wouldn't be surprised if Shopkeeper starts making decisions without considering Yor, and then orders him to take action if he really finds it. "something".

Also, we have another crack. And it is the distrust that Twilight has with Yor. Unlike the spy, Yor has absolute confidence in Loid, to the point of "asking her permission" to know whether or not she can be friends "with Melinda". She never suspects him. Yor sees Loid as motivation, encouragement and support. And although for me, it is a clear certainty that Yor is in love with Loid, Twilight is still not "in the same place" as her.

Importantly, Yor doesn't seem sure she's friends with Melinda. Despite Loid's approval, and his words of support. She clearly looks worried… as if… "something isn't right" in all of this. She may not be very rational, but her survival instincts are sharp, and after those "inexplicable" shady looks from Melinda, Yor seems to be wary of them.

I want to hug her!!

However, Yor's relapse is in her insecurities. She is so distrustful of herself that she gives her judgment to others, and this very "dependency" makes her naive. I'm worried that both Shopkeeper and Twilight get so wrapped up in this battle that she ends up in the middle as "cannon fodder." Since they are the two people where she has deposited her love and trust… and discovering that everything is a lie or that the organization that raised her can betray her or attack her can affect her a lot.

…. And lastly we have Twilight

I already expressed myself about Twilight… So I'll be briefer with him xD

Twilight's relapse is the obvious one. In contrast to Yor, Twilight's mistrust lies with the people around her. And it is totally understandable, possibly he has always distrusted all his partners (because of the missions), because he simply does not want to accept the unconditional, nor the faith in people.

He programmed his brain to survive, and that makes him distrust everyone. His desire to "control everything around him" makes the least unforeseen variable make him think of the worst scenario… transferring these negative ideas in Yoru

Be careful… don't go from being a "cool liar" to a "stupid liar" in a second >_>

I know that deep in his heart he loves Yor, cares about her and has learned to trust her. But when the Strix mission gets involved, Twilight takes several steps back and falls back into her habits. I'm sure if Melinda puts Yor at risk, he'll jump to protect her. But I'm worried for shopkeeper… If Garden's killers accidentally reveal that they're after him, investigating; or worse, to give the slightest suspicion of having a relationship with Yor… his progress can collapse and be trapped by mistrust… I really hope that Twilight is the last, or at least, that the reveal of identities occurs simultaneously . Since I know that out of the three of them, he is the one who refuses to trust his family the most.

Twilight may be acting cold and controlling right now. But I know that his self-control has a limit point. At previous times Anya was the one who was in direct line with the enemy fringe, being her the main vehicle of the mission, with the entrance to the Eden school, her grades in the exams to be an imperial academic and her failed friendship with Damian. But now, Yor went from being a third party, to being part of this direct line establishing direct contact with a target and obtaining an apparent "good impression"

Just as Twilight was a second away from exploding, and hitting that professor's face before Anya's tears, completely damaging the Strix mission. I have absolute faith and expectations, that in the future he could have a similar moment towards Yor. He is not that unalterable man. Given the minimal bad comments that have been made towards Yor (by the professor and Fiona), Twilight's expressions and body language radically change. And now that his fake wife became plan C. I think it's very possible that he could end up losing control for Yor's safety

Please Endo, hear our pleas!!

I know Twilight has come a long way… but he still has a lot of work to do. Confidence for him is a synonym of "vulnerability". And this makes him not see how important he is to Anya and Yor, he represents a pillar for them, and has been responsible for their happiness. The way he takes care of both of them, he has shown his understanding and affection for them through Loid… for them it is "very real". And both his false daughter and his false wife are willing to do anything for him…

…But he's still not ready to give up that side of himself… And he's clearly reluctant to "love."...

Note: I love Twilight very much and wish his happiness. But when he hints at things like "I don't trust Yor" or… "Ehh, Franky's not my friend, it's just work"… I really, really wish he gets a second kick from Yor and ends up with his face swollen. for a week!!!

My "positive" conclusion

Putting all this drama aside. I'm sure this is all a necessary process… Although, I don't think this will happen immediately, and it's obvious that Endo will find a way to make each event have a funny and unexpected twist. This does not imply that there is no conflict that challenges the Forgers as people and as a family (The concerns of each one are genuine

I have faith that each challenge, battle, and sentimental drama will lead The Forgers to discover their feelings, and understand the difference between "what is true and what is a lie".

If the Forger family dissolves, or one member of their family separates from the others (temporarily), or stays together but with a lot of tension in between…. This process of "chaos" is necessary.

I feel that a genuine cause of this distrust is the lies that each one carries. The three of them feel alone, and suffocated by their own secrets, and this sometimes makes them forget that what they have built is not just an appearance. No matter how much they tries to run away, or try to cover up their lies with little patches, it will eventually catch up with them and if it can blow up in their faces (especially Twilight)… Their feelings are involved and the three of them care.

The truth may be painful, but it's also the only way to build a solid foundation.

In a few words… if the current Forgers decline, it will be so that one day they will be rebuilt… in something much stronger, more solid and more authentic.

.

.

.

This chapter is so overwhelming

What do you think?

[dearweirdme]

as a taekooker and tae bias i would love to see more discussions on jungkook, i know it honestly depends on what takes u receive, but i enjoyed reading ur answer on his softness a lot! i’ve been a taekooker since i actually got into bts which was a little over 7 years ago, and one of the recurring conversations is how similar they are, same person just two different names, but i do love a good breakdown of them as individual people too. people admit easily that taehyung is a harder character to crack, which i definitely do agree, but perhaps people feel jungkook is a lot more open because when he is he RLLY is. still, he’s just as private and holds back a bit

Hi anon!

Oh, I love to talk about these things. People are all so interesting really. We are all alike, but at the same time we are also all very different. This is going to be very incomplete, and it’s absolutely only my observations.. someone else might tell you very different.

Jk is such a lovely person. My bias might be Tae, but I love watching Jk. He just comes across as so honest in his reactions. The way he pouts when he’s disappointed, the way he bursts into a laugh when something is funny, he’s not afraid to cry when he’s sad, he just shows his emotions so well. There’s different ways to be open. Jk doesn’t share a lot of details about his live. But I think he is very open about the way he feels. If we take Tae for instance, he does it the other way around more. He posts more pics, he shows more of his friendships, but he doesn’t share his emotions as easily. I think Tae protects himself by keeping his emotions in check, and I think Jk protects himself by keeping details about his live. Why do they do that. People want to feel safe and they protect the parts of themselves that are most vulnerable. Both Tae and Jk have a sense of otherness. They have both been described as being strange, weird, eccentric. For Jk this often is because of more visible choices of him (tattoos, piercings, eccentric way of living with mattresses all through his apartment).. I think the scrutiny he got because of those things hurt him. He likes to do stuff his own way. He hurts when people judge him because of that. For Tae this is different. He has been called different for more invisible things. Like the way he thinks, or how he explains things or how he reacts. I think that is what hurt him most and why he has learned how to control his facial expressions. Both guys are really soft.

I think Jk is a very feeling person overall. He likes to experience things. Likes to feel the rush of adrenaline, likes to feel different sorts of fabric, like to cuddle, likes comfortable clothing, likes candles and lights. He likes to experience different sensations overall I think. But he also gets overwhelmed, because all those sensations are felt deeply. He is sooo often the one that falls asleep.

I think Jk has had it really tough at times. Being dealt the title ‘golden maknae’ at such a young age is not only an honor. It is also a burden. For an already competitive person like Jk, he must’ve felt so much pressure to keep proving that he was worthy of that title. I am so thankful for him having had the other members to support him. You can tell that he has earned their respect despite being the youngest. They come to him for certain things, they trust his judgement and his skills. And on a level as high as BTS’s that really says something. He is a kind and compassionate person… he cries when other people cry. He is also so hilarious. That man cracks me up with his reactions so often.

I can never understand people who see Jk as nothing else but a hot body. I see so much more in him that at times it takes specific moments for me to remember that he is indeed also hot.

I do feel Tae is harder to crack. It is because he guards his emotions more I think. He is so good at keeping a straight face, but there are many times when his reactions do shine through… and he also does let us in when it feels safe.

[biolizardboils]

heres a semi-liveblog i did while playing The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog! spoilers under the cut (both for this game and Frontiers!)

“We designed the difficulty of the THINK levels for experienced Sonic fans [...]” finally...a worthy opponent

look at this cute little new employee!! im naming them Barry like in the trailer. them and the Forces Avatar just need one more member and they can form Team Self-Insert!

the Conductor is a big doggy!! oh hes retiring aww,

The Mirage Express, huh? i thought i saw a place that looked like Mirage Saloon in the traileSPAGONIA MENTION!!

okay im not gonna say the menu’s instant ramen is absolutely a reference to the 06 fandub, but i struggle to imagine what else it could be

so they eat Pickies, but eating Cluckies is apparently too far? filing this under Important Lore Implications /j

everyone’s outfits aaaaa;;;;

IT’S AMY’S BIRTHDAY!!! CONGRATS GIRL I LOVE YOUR CAKE HEADBAND AND FUR BOA

“(Why can’t I be normal for one second...)” Barry calm down, your unorthodox yet charming response got you a wink and thumbs up from Sonic the fucking Hedgehog! id be over the moon if i was you

someone already left their ticket in a napkin holder, can’t have shit on my first day

Important notes on Barry: is intimidated by Knuckles, Espio, and Shadow, is Sparkle Gelatin Buddies with Tails, somehow cannot recognize Sonic in the flesh, and bows for royalty like Blaze

Wait... the train's robot arms look like something Eggman would make... Mr. Conductor sir...?

Why is Butcher!Vector stationed in the library and not like, the kitchen lol. And also why’d he and Espio leave Charmy at home

Amy proceeds to explain the rules of Among Us

Tails is disqualified from being the murderer, for he is both Detective and Babey

At long last... the token evil Flicky

uhh why’s the train shaking

DID WE CRASH??

Amy refusing a chance to use her hammer...?

the stick behind her was def her hammer’s handle, wonder how it broke

how on earth can a Crack on A Shelf fit in someone’s inventory

how did that minigame help Barry think of an argument dfghj

oh the hammer she broke was a Great Value backup, thank god

the dead Sonic illustration still sends me hwoling sdfghj

i muted the game to play this real quick and now im laughing even harder

wait sonic can talk but he’s numb and can’t move. no longer laughing

he’s got wounds?? and NO PULSE??? oh my god theyre actually fucking doing it

TITLE DROP?? YOURE TELLING ME THE GAME DIDNT START UNTIL JUST NOW??

what did Omochao do to warrant a wanted poster

Not Knuckles using Ye Olde English for his Sherriff rolefghjk

Omochao is wanted for medical malpractice??? sure why not

okay im gonna stop logging everything and just play for a bit. will type again if something REALLY funny or shocking happens

ooh the bg changed in the Think minigame! reminds me of Earthbound

everybody’s leaving they gotdam post, can’t have shit with this group

id let Barry tell me all about caves

all the options to get rid of the bomb gdsffhgjhkj thank god it wasn’t ACTUALLY a bomb

got caught up in the game but aaaa i hope Amy and Shadow have fun at the Hot Honey concerttt

the blowdart in the conductor’s car... what is it filled with, i wonder... a paralyzing agent... or poison

HE’S STILL PARALYZED/DEAD OH NO... the game didnt give me the option to tell anyone about him but i still feel like an asshole aaaa

aaand now im laughing again SFDGHJ Amy what do you MEAN by that????

wow, im actually not sure who did it! the robot arm was specifically sliced through, so i imagine it was someone who could do that without a weapon. Vector could’ve bitten it, and Shadow could’ve used Chaos Spear... neither of those culprits seem right to me, but it’s all i got

ESPIO. idk how he did the slicing cus his shurikens wouldve been confiscated but he can camouflage why didnt i think of that

okay the camouflage didnt even come up in the accusation but still

SONIC’S ALIVE YAY

can you imagine if he’d said this when Mephiles killed him bhkvads

I FUCKING KNEW IT. TRAIN’S HAUNTED

wait the token evil Flicky is real AND relevant to the narrative??

oh thats legitimately creepy

oh thats even worse (even tho i still think hes eggman in disguise)

okay ngl id have followed these instructions to the letter too. its an autism thing, your honor

TRAIN’S GONNA KILL US OKAY

I’M BACK IN THE DINING CAR WITH SONIC, HI SONIC!!! WE’RE GONNA DIE BUT ILU

holy cow i can’t believe there’s STILL more to do?? the production values....

SONIC NEVER GOT TO SEE THE PRETTY VIEWS NOOOO;;

E  G  G

eggman has no tolerance for self-insert oc’s :pensive:

it’s canon now that Badniks have competitive wages sdfghj

oh no Barry... your self-deprecating dialogue options are worrying me buddy...

!!!PEP TALK??? SET TO IT DOESN’T MATTER V2???

Sonic my best friend Sonic.....you’re right. we can do this

so between this and Frontiers i think this decade’s gimmick is gonna be “silly minigame actually prepares you for the final challenge”

“Don’t teleport us to the future!” Barry how did you correctly guess an event that happened in a destroyed timeline

Ohhh the Train’s mad that the Conductor’s retiring isn’t it?? lemme just plug a video real quick kjhgfdsa

IM FIGHTING THE ACTUAL TRAIN NOW OH MY GOD

this is fucking TOUGH HELP

THAT LAST PART TOOK ME LIKE 20 TRIES AAAAACK

“Your happiness comes at the expense of others. Last I checked, that’s called being selfish.” Tell ‘em, Sonic

100 rings??? have mercy

FINALLY HOLY SHIT

ESPIO SAVES THE FLICKY TO ATONE FOR HIS CRIMES

WAIT DID AMY BLOW THE TRAIN UP WITH EVERYONE INSIDE??

awww;;

oh no Train......

AAAWWW;;

god Barry’s been flabbergasted by this group the whole game dfghjk. is that how civilians tend to think of them? cus its hilarious

nobody even ate?? Barry didnt even get to do his ONE job mndbhksa

SONIC FINALLY BOUGHT THE CAKE YAYYY

“To the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose!” WAAAAAUGHG;;

WAIT WHAT ,BVJKSFHL??

“...And that’s the story of how I met Sonic and his friends. Entangled in their lives for a fleeting moment, and then back to things as they were.” Living the dream, huh, Barry? I mean, besides being jobless again

oh wait we can choose their epilogue!! i made them stick with the job, practice their singing, and manage to fly to space. as a treat

holy shit that was WAY longer than i was expecting!! every aspect of this was exquisite--scenario, art, characterization, jokes, gameplay challenge?? holy shit

oh hey i guess some people got that Sonic Lore job after all!! congrats to them too!!

I think the moral of this is that sometimes the best April Fools’ jokes are the ones played completely straight, with much more than a simple lie behind them. and also don’t trust trains