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night-filled-mountain · 3 years

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Captivity and Escape in Critical Role

So this post has been sitting in my drafts for about half a year. It’s about a persistent theme I noticed throughout campaign 2, which I’m sure others have noticed and written about before, but parallels and recurring themes have always been my Thing, and I couldn’t let it go. And with last week’s episode, and the campaign finale airing tonight, and the dominance of this theme being more glaringly obvious than ever, I thought I’d just give myself a treat and finish up a giant meta post. For old times’ sake.

So, just for the heck of it, here’s an exhaustive exploration of a single through-line of campaign 2 since the very beginning: captivity, and escaping or being freed from it.

Let’s start by taking a quick look at everyone’s backstories, the things that happened to them before the campaign even started, and how they were ultimately resolved.

FJORD: Entered unknowingly and unwillingly into a pact with Uk’otoa, which bound him to perform services he never agreed to in exchange for powers he never asked for. Fjord did not know how he got into this pact or how to get out of it. He makes his escape when he pitches his sword into a lava river and pledges himself to the Wildmother.

JESTER: Spent the majority of her life “locked in her room” (or at least hidden from sight) until the consequences of one of her pranks forcibly liberated her into the wider world. While Jester loves her mother dearly and thinks of her long “captivity” as being for her own protection, its negative effects on her--loneliness, insecurity, a lack of worldly experience and social awareness--were still apparent, and she spends much of the campaign working through them.

BEAU: Her parents had her kidnapped by monks. It could be argued that even before the kidnapping, she was a prisoner to her father’s “over-protective” tendencies and her parents’ expectations when it came to her career, behavior, gender role, etc. But most significantly, she was very much kidnapped by monks, and made her escape from the Cobalt Soul shortly before we met her.

CALEB: Where to start? First he suffered coercion and abuse at the hands of Trent (a form of captivity); then he was made to torture and execute prisoners; then he spent eleven years literally imprisoned in an asylum, and had to kill and steal in order to escape; and four and a half years later, he met Nott when they were both thrown in jail (and had to engineer their own escape once again). Caleb’s ordeals ultimately made him a prisoner of his own guilt and fear, and escaping that prison has been the heart of his storyline.

VETH/NOTT: Besides the aforementioned stint in jail, the catalyst for her entire adventuring career was being captured by goblins along with her family--and then, after engineering the escape of her husband and son, being imprisoned in the wrong body (and subsequently enslaved!). The desire to escape from this second imprisonment was her driving motivation through much of the campaign. With Caleb’s help (and Essek’s, and Jester’s), she ultimately succeeds.

MOLLY: His first memory was of clawing his way out of a grave, which is just about as extreme a form of captivity and escape as you can get. More subtly, he was also a prisoner to the expectations placed on his body--to the life that body once lived, which he could not remember and refused to claim. Arguably (and tragically), his escape from this particular prison is his own death...until Cree resurrects Lucien, Mollymauk fragment and all. Then he presumably becomes a prisoner much like Yasha was, subsumed body and soul by a mind and a will that are not his own. Until last week.

... (incoherent sobbing)

Until last week.

YASHA: She was a prisoner to her clan’s laws and expectations. Her brief attempt to escape this prison through a forbidden marriage ended tragically, and then she was forced to make a second, literal escape (fleeing into the desert)--only to be (presumably) possessed by Obann, imprisoned inside her own mind, and forced to do his bidding until the Storm Lord liberated her once again.

CADUCEUS: When the gang first meet him, he’s literally a prisoner of his own fear (and/or inertia)--though his whole family has left the Blooming Grove, he’s been too afraid or hesitant to brave the corruption of the Savalirwood without companionship, and spent years isolated in the family temple as a result. The Mighty Nein (or rather, Caleb, Nott, Beau, Keg, and Nila) initiate his escape.

***

And that’s just the backstories! Now let’s take a look at each of the places the Mighty Nein have visited since they came together, and the story arcs therein.

***

TROSTENWALD - CARNIVAL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the (future) Mighty Nein and the other carnies from jail or house arrest. (Much later, the M9 come back to pay Gustav’s debt and liberate him as well.) And remember that Beau is especially sympathetic to Toya’s predicament because she, too, was once a young girl held somewhere against her will.

ALFIELD - GNOLL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the citizens of Alfield who have been kidnapped by gnolls to feed to their manticore leader (and to kill off the gnolls and manticore to keep it from happening again).

ZADASH: The Mighty Nein’s first undertaking in Zadash is to kill off the giant spiders in the sewer. In the process, they free a halfling imprisoned in a spiderweb, which leads them to the Gentleman and all his future quests.

Aside from that, their biggest job in Zadash this time around is the High Richter heist--which, yes, is a mercenary/political job that goes terribly wrong, but why does it go terribly wrong? Because Ulog, the M9′s NPC ally at the time, is so furious over his wife being wrongfully imprisoned by the High Richter that he impulsively blows up both her and himself. And arguably the most poignant moment in the heist’s aftermath is Caleb speaking to the next High Richter, Dolan, and ensuring that Ulog’s wife will be freed.

Also, let’s not forget the drow the M9 meet in the sewer. The one they capture, interrogate, and ultimately...let go. Yes, he’s killed shortly afterward and his beacon falls into their hands, but I think it’s very important to remember that the decision they make, when holding a captive terrorist from an “enemy” nation, is to return his stolen artifact to him and let him walk away free.

LABENDA SWAMP/BERLEBEN: The most memorable events during this interlude are: (1.) The M9 literally freeing Kiri from the swamp, where she is stuck in the mud and at the mercy of crocodiles, and (2.) Bowlgate, a.k.a. Caleb and Beau’s tense confrontation over what to do with Calianna, which is once again fueled on Beau’s side by her sympathy for a young woman held against her will. (Caleb proposes that Cali spend the night with the M9, which she did not intend, so they can use spells to determine her truthfulness the next day.)

HUPPERDOOK: This one’s obvious: The M9 fight a deadly automaton to free two gnomes from prison and reunite them with their children (largely to prevent said children from being taken to an orphanage against their will).

GLORY RUN ROAD/SHADYCREEK RUN - IRON SHEPHERDS ARC: ...Even more obvious. The sole goal of the remaining M9 members (and Nila) throughout this arc is to free their friends from slavery. They end up slaughtering all the slavers and freeing several other captives as well.

LUSIDIAN OCEAN - PIRATE ARC: Here’s where things get really interesting. Because this whole arc is also about captivity and freedom, isn’t it?

It’s about whether or not to free a little old captive named Uk’otoa!

I haven’t given nearly enough thought to how this arc fits in with all the others thematically, considering its central lesson is that freeing this particular captive would be a very bad thing. I do think it’s significant that:

(1.) The beginning of this arc, which leaves the whole party feeling so bad and icky, involves them quite inadvertently taking a captive of their own--and one whom they don’t treat very well. (And still don’t, for that matter...poor Marius.)

(2.) Soon after that incident, the M9 are themselves effectively taken captive by Avantika and her crew. This situation doesn’t last nearly as long as many audience members (and quite possibly Matt, and quite possibly the players themselves!) thought it would, because they panic on Darktow, go all Wall of Fire, and free themselves in a huge, climactic, desperate battle. The Mighty Nein do not take well to captivity.

Anyhow, they follow all this up with...

FELDERWIN/XHORHAS - YEZA ARC: ...another very straightforward quest to free a captive. Not only is this arc all about rescuing Yeza from a Xhorhasian dungeon, but after Caleb returns the beacon, after the Bright Queen of Xhorhas offers the Mighty Nein anything they want...all they ask her for is to let them go.

BAZZOXAN & BEYOND - OBANN ARC: ...By now, you know where I’m going with this, right? The entire arc is about freeing Yasha from Obann, who has her imprisoned inside her own body, inside her own mind. There’s a reason That Moment in the cathedral hit so hard, right? “And as you close your eyes, you see yourself breaking the shackles. You see the influence no longer holding any sway over your soul. There's nothing but the storm, vengeance, and hope.”

(Bonus: In the middle of the above arc, we get the HAPPY FUN BALL - RESCUING YUSSA ARC, which, once again, is devoted to freeing a captive.)

KAMORDAH/CYRIOS MOUNTAINS - ISHARNAI ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Nott from the body in which she was imprisoned. Beau also has a bit of a freedom arc here: confronting the parents who imprisoned her figuratively and literally, turning her back on them (possibly for good), and then confronting a major source of the expectations and superstitions they shackled her with: Isharnai, who is neutralized by Jester’s cupcake.

THE MENAGERIE - CLAY ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Caduceus’s family, who are imprisoned in perhaps the most literal way possible, being turned to stone. (The M9 also manage to liberate the Stone family while they’re at it.)

RUMBLECUSP - TRAVELER CON: Two great liberations take place here. First, all the residents of the Village of Vo are freed from Vokodo’s influence, their memories restored, their blind devotion dispelled, able once again to choose the course of their own lives. Second, the followers of the Traveler are freed from the deception he’s imposed on them, the cult he’s roped them into. Thanks to the Moonweaver’s interference, they, too, are free to make informed decisions. And I think we can also safely say that Artagan is freed from them, from the false “god” role he managed to box himself into, and he’s happier for it.

EISELCROSS - SOMNOVEM ARC: ...And this is it, folks. This is why I decided to finish this post today. Because I was openly not feeling the Eiselcross arc as an endgame. The hard slog through the elements just wasn’t doing it for me, or the frequent combat, or the increasingly complex lore, or the traditionally heroic quest to save the world from being swallowed by a monstrous city.

...Until last week. Until Lucien’s defeat. And Molly’s oh-so-improbable resurrection.

When I heard all the voices of the Somnovem whispering “Thank you” as their individual souls were freed from the Lovecraftian hivemind...when I heard Jester sobbing that at least Molly’s soul wasn’t “trapped” inside a monstrous Lucien anymore...when Cad’s Divine Intervention succeeded, and Mollymauk Tealeaf opened his eyes--his two plain old natural eyes--unburdened by Lucien and his Somnovem eyes and all of his dark baggage for the first time--I was finally able to embrace this as the ending.

Because it’s not about saving the world. That’s just a bonus. It’s about saving a friend. Freeing a friend. Freeing captives, wherever they find them. Whether from Crown’s Guard, gnolls, and giant spiders, or from royal dungeons; whether from ruthless enemies or from their own families; whether from eldritch abominations or from the forces that chain their own minds.

In the end, the Mighty Nein--and the people whose lives they touch--belong to no one and nothing that they do not choose to belong to. They belong to themselves, to the people they most sincerely love, to the gods and causes they have chosen freely. And that has always, always been my favorite kind of story.

And I can’t wait for tonight.

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blazingstar24 · 3 years

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So that Sailor Moon Shadowgast AU I mentioned? Time to drop some notes I have on it. (I haven’t watched Sailor Moon in years so I’ll say it’s loosely based on it. Also they fucking died a lot more than I remembered).

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Backstory:

So this would take place in a more modern setting. But since Sailor Moon is all about reincarnation, basically Campaign 2 is what happened in the past. Except it was the bad ending where Trent wins at the Clay family home. However, although Trent wins, Astrid and Eodwulf show their love for Caleb one last time as it is their efforts that lead to the reincarnation of all of the M9 some time in the future. In Sailor Moon, Queen Serenity uses the Silver Crystal to seal the souls away for rebirth. In this AU, Astrid and Eodwulf give their lives to use the knowledge that Trent gained from the Beacons against him. Basically enacting some form of controlled consecution, in which they would return when the Luxon deemed it time to defeat Master Ikithon once and for all.

Caleb Widogast as Sailor Moon:

Centuries later, Caleb Widogast is born again. (What’s nice is that Caleb gets to have parents now, not the same ones but yay?) Caleb is definitely nothing like Usagi. He’s a great student, very responsible and reserved, not bratty but still has that streak of hubris and of course still an absolute disaster bi. He would still have some of the signature Caleb things, like the arm scratching when nervous/anxious, an affinity towards fire, yet also a weird apprehension at the same time, and a deep love for cats. (Also he still has the “Zemnian” accent) However, despite his new life being pretty happy, he still feels like he’s missing something or perhaps someone, multiple people?

Thus, in his senior year of college, Caleb comes across a stray orange tabby cat with a strange star on it’s head. He takes it home and promptly names it Frumpkin, as the name pops into his head out of the blue. Surprise surprise when Frumpkin starts to talk and addresses him as his old master.

Frumpkin explains that Caleb is the second chosen of the Luxon and that he is here to help Caleb remember who he truly is and stop the forces of evil. Caleb is understandably kinda freaked out by what Frumpkin is telling him (tiefling, elves, and all the magical races still exist, so talking cat isn’t too wild. But reincarnation of ancient heroes that stop great evils like a body horror city? That’s fucking insane). But in that moment, some memories come back to him as a bright light fills his room. It’s not total anamnesis but it’s very similar. As faint memories or impressions of the other members of the Nein come back. All except for one.

This triggers Caleb’s first “magical girl” transformation. Not sure what their outfits would look like, but maybe some cool wizard esque outfit. It would definitely have amber elements to it. Maybe a scarf too. Frumpkin takes him out on his first night of being whatever I’m gonna call him instead of Sailor Moon. (Maybe something to do with the Luxon?) In which Caleb fights off a pack of gnolls being controlled by Ikithon. He almost gets his ass totally kicked, but his Keen Mind feat from the past kicks in as he remembers how to cast Widogast’s Wall of Fire.

Currently Caleb is searching for the rest of the Nein to reawaken their memories and his own, to stop Trent. While he doesn’t remember anything yet about his own past with Trent, he instinctively has a strong feeling of hatred when he is mentioned. And then, the day after his first outing as “Sailor Moon”, he runs into Essek Thelyss for the first time in centuries.

Essek Thelyss as Tuxedo Mask:

Essek never wanted to be consecuted, yet it ended up being the thing that saved him. He never truly believe in the religious zeal of the Luxon in the Dynasty, yet he is the first champion of the Luxon. A bit earlier than Caleb, Essek Thelyss is reborn. (Still a drow) Essek is in his own senior year of college when the Luxon itself presents itself to Essek. (For reference Essek is 2 grades ahead of Caleb—so a grad student currently—but you know the equivalent for that age in elf years.)

The Luxon returns a lot memories back to Essek. Some more clear than others. Numerous of them being about a ginger haired wizard, whose features are still fuzzy. But he feels a deep connection and affection towards this person. He is privy to the memories of him stealing the beacons and working with the CA. So when the Luxon tells him this is his chance to right his wrongs and help settle the scores of the past, Essek agrees to become the champion of the Luxon.

For the past 2 years, Essek has been going out alone as whatever I’m going call him instead of Tuxedo Mask, doing what he can in the fight against Trent. He’s been trying to find the M9 and particularly that man he wants to remember so dearly. Until finally one day, he runs into Caleb on campus, in the library trying to grab the same book onto the mythos of the Luxon.

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More to come later! Feel free to suggest some names for their alter egos.

#shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek thelyss #critical role au #critical role

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sidras-tak · 4 years

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widobrave week, day 7: post-campaign

after all their adventuring is done, Caleb, Veth, and their child go visit an old friend

The Mighty Nein had houses everywhere. No one could agree where to settle, so they settled all over. The Brenattos and Caleb took a large, comfortable house in Nicodranas, as far from the shore as they could get. Jester settled with Marion and the Gentleman in a town a few miles outside of Zadash. Yasha took care of the house in Xhorhas, aided by Beau, when she could be pulled away from the Cobalt Soul. Caduceus’ family enlarged and strengthened the borders of the Blooming Grove to accommodate a guesthouse just off the property, for pilgrims sent by the Wildmother and families visiting their tea-growing ancestors. That was where Fjord hung his hat, and he was a wonderful caretaker of the people of the Blooming Grove, just as Caduceus was a wonderful caretaker of its plants. Everyone in the Mighty Nein traveled frequently between houses, spending time with each other, pursuing their interests and goals, causing trouble and fixing problems. There was no house that didn’t have the mark of each and every member of the Nein somewhere in it.

And there was one more house. It was tiny, hardly more than a room surrounded by four walls a roof. But it was sturdy, and enchanted to be warm and safe. It was to this house that Veth and Caleb were traveling, on foot, mostly unaided by magic, with a child in tow.

(During storytime, the week before, Holly had asked for a story about their various aunts and uncles. Veth and Caleb were happy to indulge, and told them an early tale of a band of misfits and gnolls in mine shafts—with the violence tuned down to the five-year-old’s level, of course.

“Mama, how come I’ve never met Uncle Molly?” Holly asked, after the story had come to a close.

“Oh, sweetie,” Veth said, “We told you that Uncle Molly passed away a long time ago, remember?”

“Yeah, but Uncle Caduceus can talk to the dead. So it shouldn’t matter. Right, Papa?”

Caleb’s lips pressed together and he exhaled through his nose. “Not this one, I’m afraid.”

“Why not?”

“Uncle Molly wouldn’t like it,” Veth said. “He would want to remain at peace.”

Holly made a face and blew a raspberry, a sure sign that they both accepted the explanation and were annoyed by it.

As Veth tucked them into bed, she said, “We can take you to see where he’s resting, if you want. I think you’re old enough to go on adventures, now.”

Hastily, Caleb added, “Adventures with Mama and Papa, okay? No striking out on your own quite yet, young one.”

“Is Daddy coming with us?” Holly asked. Veth shook her head. “I’ll ask, but I’m guessing that Daddy is going to stay behind with Luc. He doesn’t like adventures very much.”

Holly took a little longer than usual to settle down that night, chattering away about the trip they were going to take, including all the gnolls they were going to kill with Mama and Papa’s help. Veth made a silent note to check with Beau for some appropriate children’s stories to read before bed in the future).

So that was how Veth, Caleb, and their five-year-old found themselves making the trek to Glory Run Road, the little house built by the Mighty Nein, and Molly’s grave. Holly was over the moons about going on a real adventure with their parents, and Caleb and Veth took turns having panic attacks about something happening to their child on the road.

“If we run into those fuckin’ Syphilis bandits again, I swear….” Veth muttered to herself. Caleb laughed.

“I don’t think that’s likely, my love. But we have the Tiny Hut and your crossbow. And I prepared Disintegrate today, just in case. We’ll be safe.”

“I know, I know. I just worry.”

Between them, Holly skipped along. The hand held by Caleb was lifted up as high as they could get it, due to the height difference. Every once in a while, they would shake out their arm, pronounce it in need of a rest, and walk backwards so Caleb could hold their other hand.

Travel was thankfully uneventful and Holly took well to traveling—clearly an adventurer in the making. On the third day, Caleb took a sharp turn off the main road and began pushing through the rougher terrain that surrounded it.

“Is this the place?” Veth asked. He nodded silently. Holly held up their arms, so he scooped them up and put them on his shoulders.

“Look there,” he said, pointing a few hundred yards ahead. “Can you see that little house up there? That’s where Uncle Molly is.”

Molly’s coat was waiting for them, tattered by weather and faded with the passing years. Be it from dumb luck, superstition, or divine intervention, no one had dared disturb the grave marker—or if they had, the coat had been quickly restored to its rightful place. Some kind soul had enchanted the coat to stay in place on its branch, unbothered by push and pull of the wind. The flowers that Caduceus had started had grown into a tiny meadow, as colorful and bright as their master had been.

Despite the isolated location of the grave, the site itself and the little house a few dozen yards away from it were welcoming. Veth and Caleb brought Holly into the small house to put down their bags and take a moment to collect themselves. The interior of the house was comfortable, and there were several beds of varying sizes. On each wall was a painted message, repeated over and over in different languages. Veth picked up Holly and brought them over to the wall that had a message written in Halfling.

The Mighty Nein welcomes you to the final resting place of Mollymauk Tealeaf. Take shelter here as you pass through. Eat and drink as you require. In return, we ask that you leave behind a bottle of something strong and lively for the next traveler passing through—Molly enjoyed anything that would surprise him. Leave every place better than how you found it.

The words Long May He Reign were carved into the wood above the door, in dozens of different languages. A small shrine to the Moonweaver was set up in the far corner, and the corner nearest to the door housed a handful of chairs and a sturdy table with shelves built underneath it. The shelves held non-perishable provisions for a simple, filling meal and about a dozen diverse bottles of booze. Nott’s old bottomless flask had joined the collection several years prior, and it still sat among the bottles.

Holly solemnly listened as their mother read the message aloud. Then they wiggled out of Veth’s arms and said, “I wanna met him now.”

Outside, Caleb spread a blanket out on the grass by the coat and sat down with his family.

“Hello, Mollymauk,” he said, pulling Holly onto his lap. “There is someone here who would like to meet you. Holly?”

The child perked up. They waved at the coat. “Hi, Mr. Molly. My name is Holly Brave Brenatto-Widogast. I’m five. Mama and Papa are your friends. Mama says when you knew her, she was a goblin called Nott. So when I say Mama, that’s who I’m talking about. She says I came to visit you when I was still in her tummy. But now I’m meeting you for real! I wish I could have met you while you were alive, ‘cause our names match. Molly and Holly. I think that’s cool.”

They paused. “You have a nice coat. It looks like a painting that Aunt Jester made for me once. Papa says you fought with swords. That’s so cool! My brother Luc started training with his crossbow when he was five, so I think I’m old enough to start learning sword-fighting. But Daddy says no.”

“That’s right,” Caleb said. “You can wait until you’re a little older until you go full blood-hunter on us.”

He gave Holly a quick hug, which made the child burrow their face into Caleb’s coat for a few long moments. When they spoke again, their voice was choked up. “I don’t like that Uncle Molly is dead. I never got to meet him. It’s not fair.”

“I know, darling,” Caleb soothed. Veth ran her hand through Holly’s short red hair comfortingly.

“We miss him,” Veth said. “In a lot of ways, his death made us—the Mighty Nein, and me and your father—be better people. If he hadn’t died, we might have stayed selfish. We owe a lot to Molly. But that doesn’t mean we can’t miss him.”

“That’s why we come to visit him sometimes. That’s why we brought you with us, this time,” Caleb added.

“How did he die? Did he get sick?”

Veth looked over at Caleb, silently asking him a question. They were well past the point they where they needed a twisted wire to communicate silently. Are they old enough to know that story? Should we tell them?

They’ll learn from someone, somehow, Caleb’s eyes answered. Veth sighed and settled back on the blanket. Caleb took one of her hands and kissed it, a reminder that he was here with her.

“Once upon a time, a group of friends were torn apart by a cruel man named Lorenzo…”

And as she sat at the grave of her friend, with her husband at her side, she told her child the story of a man whose end was, in many ways, their beginning.

#sparklepants #critical role #widobraveweek #widobrave week #kit writes #it's done! the last day of widobrave week #i've had so much fun #thank you to everyone who commented and liked and reblogged #i'm going to collect all my fics on ao3 #expect that link later today

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critical-derolo · 5 years

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not like the stories

"You'd think there would be one bookstore in this town," Caleb grumbles beside her. He folds his arm on the table, around his mug of swill, and taps his fingertips against the surface. "Even in a city of beasts, someone is bound to partake in some light reading. Knowledge is the foundation of any society..."

It's not totally her fault that she tunes Caleb out - not when he dives into a lecture of academia, he knows she can't force herself to focus on something she finds so boring. But Caleb is her friend and so she hums and nods every now and then, leaning against her elbow with her chin in her palm as she stares at the tiefling across the crowded tavern they're in. The fake tiefling. The human polymorphed into a tiefling. The incredibly attractive fake tiefling that's really a human, specifically her friend Beau.

Jester's eyes linger on the defined muscles of her bare arms, how vibrant the red of her skin is. The way it makes her blue eyes and black hair pop. People throw around the slurs 'devil' and 'demon' at Jester often enough, but gods, Beau is sinfully delicious as a tiefling.

The little Trickster sighs deeply, sinking her teeth into her bottom lip. She drags her gaze along the expanse of abdomen that shows in the monk's vestments and robes, imagines running her fingers along the grooves of those stone abs. Her eyes flutter and she can almost see Beau beneath her, chest expanding with a choked expletive caught in her throat, Jester's cool palm against red hot skin as Beau drives her head back into the mattress. Those lovely defined arms flexing when she holds onto the bedposts above her head as Jester rides her for all she has.

"Even a little stand in the market with information pamphlets," Caleb groans and holds his face in his hands. "I'll take anything, at this point."

"Bahamut's balls, Caleb!" Jester hisses reflexively. She jerks up in her seat, swallowing heavily, and lets out a shaky breath. Her friend stares at her curiously. "It's almost as if this city doesn't appreciate fine literature!"

Caleb blinks and slowly nods like he's piecing together a complex puzzle. "Ja... ja, it is, isn't it. It's an affront to the pursuit of education!"

"Do you have any new books?" she wonders abruptly. Tilts her head and bats her eyelashes in a deceptively innocent manner. "Any sequels to Tusk Love or something like that, maybe?"

Suspicion glows in those blue eyes of his but the fondness in them outshines it. He leans back in his chair, brushing his hand over a scruffy chin. "You are meaning smut when you say something like Tusk Love?"

"Technically..." Jester grins.

"I am sorry, my friend, but I haven't - eh, replenished the library, so to speak. Travelling underground for so long and then popping up in this... city, I haven't had the chance."

Rather impressively, Beau juggles an armful of mugs as she approaches the table. Her grin is sharp, all predator, and Jester hops in her seat. Pointedly ignores the heat in her stomach, and leans forward over the table. "Beau, were you flirting with that Orc lady at the bar?"

Beau rolls her eyes at the eyebrow wiggling and sets the mugs down. Jester preens a little when she catches the flash of blue dart towards her cleavage, and maybe, maaaaybe squishes her arms together a little more than necessary. "Flirting is just like any other skill, Jes," Beau says around her smirk and kicks out a chair for Fjord. Yasha helps Caduceus bring over a couple platters of food, and Nott just appears when they're set down on the table. "Gotta flex it now and then or it gets rusty."

As if to emphasize her point, Beau lifts her arms to display those biceps carved by the Muses themselves. Jester hums or purrs, maybe, tail swaying back and forth behind her head. Fjord slowly, discreetly leans back to look between the two of them, brows pinching together with confusion.

And then Jester blinks, dropping back in her seat. "Well, I don't think you're rusty even a little. She's still staring at you." She decides to ignore the acid that churns in her stomach. "You must be really, really good at it."

A darker red creeps up Beau's neck and Jester wants to chase it with her tongue, but also... her heart clenches at how sweet it is that Beau is blushing? How someone can be so suave, so brash, so cocky... and then turn around, getting bashful by the attention - it makes something in Jester ache with longing.

No. Nope, bad thoughts. Beau is pretty. Just super pretty. And tiefling Beau is handsome like Fjord, and Jester is just getting herself a little confused. Maybe she's been reading too many books lately.

Beau is her friend and she doesn't ache for her friends - well, mostly not. Mostly just Fjord. Only Fjord. Maybe Yasha now and then, when the pain in her eyes is so profound it takes Jester's breath away. And Beau just, like, at night when she's reading and Beau groans in her sleep, or when Beau twirls around a bad guy to drop him like a sack of bricks, or when Beau finds her on the ship just as she's about to fall apart, saying such kind and lovely things that make the world hurt just a little bit less. But! Mostly Fjord.

Fjord, who gives her the guiltiest puppy dog eyes she's ever seen. Who hovers over her like a parent over a newborn, like she's made of fucking glass, like she isn't a grown woman who fights monsters and dragons, like she's a frightened little girl whose feelings were hurt because he chose Captain Avantika, sex goddess of the sea.

"Uh, Jester? Did I do something to upset you?" he asks hesitantly.

She blinks and smiles, head tilting, and watches the colour drain from his face. "Of course not, why would you even ask that?"

"Oh, it's just..." he waves his hand dismissively, lips puckering in a frown that tries to force itself to be casual. "You're glaring at me something fierce and you impaled that apple with your fork, uh, straight through into the table."

Jester instinctively releases the death-grip on her fork, staring down at the poor little fruit. "Oh, no, I was just drifting. Whoops."

"If that's you drifting, I'd hate to see you angry," Nott chirps around a mouth full of... meat?

Beau scoffs into her mug. "Gods, I'm still aching to see it."

Intrigue draws Jester up on the table again, leaning closer. "I could-"

"Jester, would you pass me the... thing that looks like salt?" Caleb asks loudly and Jester drags her heated gaze away from Beau's wide eyes, to a knowing Caleb. And then around the table to all of her friends. Her friends.

Oh, she really, really needs some midnight reading. "Sure, no problem, Caleb!"

Fjord plucks it right out of Caleb's hand when he catches it, a crooked grin on his face made all the more charming by his tusks still growing in. "What's the magic word?" he teases.

"Holscheif."

Fjord blinks. "Bless you?"

"It's a magic word, hand me the salt." Caleb holds out his hand, tracing a circle in his palm. "Or I will make you."

An eyebrow crooks up. "Mighty big words coming from a man who still has his own blood dried in his beard."

"That door came out of nowhere and that is beside the point."

Fjord claps his hand on Caleb's shoulder and presses the salt shaker into his palm. Caduceus leans over to pull the fork from the table, biting into the apple. Nott looks between them all as she shovels more food into her mouth, the gears slowly turning, and Yasha's lips curve up in a warm smile.

The day has been long and gruelling. After trudging all the way out to the river, only to spend the morning walking the banks, they finally found the tumormoss... and a Roc. And then Gnolls. Roc and Gnoll do not mix, trying to fight off the pack with a monstrosity swooping at them was a literal nightmare that depleted every last spell slot between them.

But it's over. They won. They walked away, lived to keep on fighting, to keep on running. Those who fell got back up, and now they drag themselves back towards the city. Anxious looks shot between them as they eye their friends' wounds warily.

Everyone is alive.

Ahead of her, Jester watches Fjord and Beau cradle Caleb between them. An arm hooked around both of their shoulders, while Nott trails behind quickly. Fjord grunts, his hand slipping from Caleb's coat, and Beau twists to catch and hold all of the wizard's weight.

It only takes a moment for Fjord to adjust his bag and hook Caleb's arm around him again. Jester watches on fondly, sighing softly. "I miss Molly."

Beside her, Caduceus rases a pink eyebrow and angles his face down towards her. He literally always has a sort of dazed, serene look on his face, but in the glow of the afternoon light, he looks like peace incarnate. “Hm? Oh, sorry.”

“It's not your fault.”

He watches her for a silent moment where her entire frame droops with the weight of life and death. The guilt of a survivor is a unique thing, almost untouchable, a burden that only a tormented few bear. Torn between the gift of a second chance, and the knowledge that you weren’t there, you couldn’t help. “I know. But it will always hurt, in its own way, for the rest of your life. I'm just sorry. Is there a specific reason you miss him right now?”

“I need to talk to him about something,” Jester says thoughtfully. She stares up at her fellow cleric, at the concern and comfort that brim up in his gentle eyes.

He smiles softly. “You should then. I don't know for sure about the afterlife,” he waves his large hand around, “I don’t know for sure about this life. But. Things have a way of gettìng around, and I'm sure it would feel better than it does right now if you did.”

It’s not exactly foreign, she knows she’s heard it somewhere before. It might be something she'd overheard her mother tell her grieving clients, that people aren’t ever truly gone. That sometimes it’s best to just get the grief out than keep it in, eating away at your soul. And if her momma said it, then it’s gotta be true. “That's true. You're super wise, Caduceus.”

“Thank you. Maybe I could help?”

She considers her actual question and can’t help but giggle. Tries to smother it with her hand, and shakes her head. “Oh, I don’t know. You're super wise but this might be beyond you.”

“Okay.” Caduceus doesn’t even blink. Just a simple shrug of his shoulders and he inclines his head amicably. They walk in silence a few more steps and he tilts his head curiously. “I could try.”

It’s worth a shot, Jester supposes. “Well... do you think Beau is sexy?”

Those big pink eyes stare down at her blankly and she waits... and waits. His brows slowly furrow with thought, nodding ever so slightly, as if he’s truly considering this question as deep as one might ponder their reason for existence. "Oh. Oh, uh. Sure, yeah. Why not. Sexy like the sky.”

“What does that even mean??” Jester laughs with a shake of her head, hooking her arm with his.

His lips twitch, a long grey finger tapping his fuzzy chin. “Just. You know. As comforting as she is unyielding. It's a little uneasy, a little uncomfortable when you can't see it, a panic when you don't know where it is. But reversely, if you look at it too long, if you stare more than you should...” he instinctively reaches for his staff, bracing himself as he gazes up above them.

“You don’t know what sexy is, do you?”

Caduceus grins. “No. Sorry.”

“I still appreciate the effort.” Jester sighs, shaking her head with a delighted smile. “It does feel a little better, talking about it.”

“So you think Beau is sexy then?”

Jester gasps, pulling her arm from his to lightly slap his elbow. “Caduceus! I think Fjord is sexy, and handsome, and dashing, and all of the things I'm supposed to think he is.”

He looks confused again. “Supposed to? Thoughts are free, Miss Jester. You're allowed to think whatever you like.”

“No, I know that, I just meant. Okay, technically, like, I am all about Fjord, you know. But also, maybe, I'm sometimes about Beau? But like lately... these days... for a while now... maybe since the Ball Eater... I have been very much not all about Fjord. And perhaps, if we dissected it, I have been all about Beau.”

“Okay.”

Jester wrings her hands, smiling anxiously. Purple eyes flit away, shadows of hurt lingering in them. "But Beau is about Yasha. And I am about Fjord. So it's silly! It doesn't even matter, I don't know where I was going with that. It's really, really ridiculous.” She glances back. “Right?”

“Maybe,” Caduceus agrees softly. Tilts his head to one side... and then the other. Looks back down at her. “Maybe not. Is Beau about Yasha the same way that you are about Fjord?”

Eyebrows jump and Jester opens her mouth. The words linger on her tongue and she looks ahead of them in time to see Beau flash Fjord a grin and adjust Caleb’s weight again. “I... oh. I hadn't thought of that. Like, she's not really about Yasha, she's only supposed to be?”

“Who decides what we're supposed to be about?” Caduceus wonders aloud. “I would like to ask that person some questions. How do they decide?”

“It's not a person, it's just... the way it is!”

“Why?”

Well. Well... because. It just is? Maybe? “I'm not really sure.”

“That doesn't seem fair then,” he decides and nods firmly. “I think I'll ignore it, and feel how I feel, and think what I think.”

“That's a good idea,” Jester agrees while her mind races.

Another quiet moment passes between them. Yasha’s hand stops glowing and she doesn’t limp anymore when she pulls it away from her hip. In another few strides, she hoists Caleb up over her shoulder and falls in step with the others. “What do you think your friend would have told you?” Caduceus asks.

“Oh, I don't know. Anticipating Molly was always difficult, almost impossible, really.” She thinks about it and hums, smiling slightly. “He would probably tease me about my taste, he really liked giving Beau a hard time. But maybe he would have told me that the heart wants what it wants, and who are we to disagree with the whimsy of love? Something like that, he was very poetic. I feel like he could have written half the books I read.”

“He sounds lovely.”

Some of the sadness creeps back in, but Jester forces her smile to stay strong. Brilliant and blinding, just like his. “He was. I'm sorry you never got to know him, Caduceus. And that he never got to know you, I think you would have liked each other.”

“I think he would very much appreciate the way you all still carry him with you. I also think maybe we should catch up to the others before they get worried.”

She snorts. “Yeah, no, yeah. I see Nott's Mom Face aimed back at us, let's go before she assigns first watch on us.”

Soft gasps and muffled moans echo in the quiet room, the darkness of the night like a protective shroud that blocks out the rest of the world. It's just the two of them and the bed beneath them, moonlight spilling in from the window and catching the blues of Beau's eyes. Pools of crystal clear water and Jester has never wanted to drown before, never wanted to fall in, and in, and in... her tail tightens around Beau's thigh. Her fingers splay across the brown skin of Beau's abs, flushed with the heat between them, and she runs her hands up Beau's sides.

It's adorable how the monk tries to bite back her grin and electrifying how she wiggles and squirms between Jester's thighs. But a tickle fight is not why she crawled into Beau's bed tonight, and so she rolls her hips in a seductive circle and gasps at the lightning that shoots up her spine. Beau clenches the sheets in her fists, swallowing her favourite vulgar word, and shudders.

"Beauregard..." Jester purrs and rocks her hips forward again, a delighted smile full of her fangs when it draws a guttural groan from the woman beneath her. "I know you've been watching me lately."

Swooping forward, Jester catches herself with her hands on either side of Beau's face. Their noses brush together and her eyes crinkle when she catches sight of the blush creeping up Beau's neck. So she dips down and follows it with her tongue, a scorching path up, and up, and-

A strong hand cups the back of her neck, yanking her forward into aggressive but oh so gentle lips. Desperation tamed by adoration, and the molten pit in Jester's stomach tightens, the grip on her inhibitions loosens. Beau's arm circles her waist, and rough fingertips trace Jester's jaw featherlight.

Another strike of lightning, Jester rolls her hips down into Beau. She swallows the monk's gasp, and playfully flicks her tongue with her own. Beau tastes like blood - a faded copper bite, and Jester has seen that bloody grin often enough. Has swooned over it, has tasted it now, and the heat in her stomach grows. Intensifies. The coil tightens. Beau's hands slide down her sides, fingers dig into her hips as she sucks on a far more experienced tongue. Magic crackles against her skin everywhere she makes contact with Beau, Beau, Beau...

She sits back with a gasp and drags in as much air as she can. Beau pants beneath her and Jester stares up at the ceiling, her chest heaving, continuously rocking down against her friend. "Beau," she chokes out and swallows. Forces her heavy eyes to focus on the blown pupils that stare up at her hungrily. Jester lays her hands over Beau's on her hips, guiding them up her sides again. "I really, really like you," she whispers in the moonlight. Brings Beau's hands to her lips and presses a kiss against the scarred fingers, placing them on the lace ribbon of her corset. "Do you like me?"

"So much it hurts," Beau growls in a voice so rough it sounds like gravel. Jester rocks harder against her and Beau leans up, kisses Jester again. And again. And again. Until they're against each other, in each other, and Jester didn't even notice she's pinned Beau back to the bed.

Until Jester feels the ribbon laced across the front of her chest pulled free. And then not even the desperate, heated mash of lips and tongue can distract her from Beau pulling the corset loose. From her breasts spilling up and Beau slipping her hands in. A deep, primal noise is torn from Jester's throat, along with Beau's name.

She gasps harshly in the cool night, eyes shooting open wide. Her chest still heaves and she swallows, slowly blinking up at the ceiling of their inn room. She lifts a trembling hand to wipe her sweaty forehead.

"Jes...? You calling me?" Beau's groggy voice carries across the room from her own bed.

Jester turns her head and leans up, feels the sheets and her nightgown cling to her sweaty skin. "No!" she says in a voice much too squeaky. "I said... oh...?"

In the soft moonlight, Jester watches Beau sluggishly turn onto her side. Her eyes are closed, on the precipice of sleep, but hums. "Did'ja have a bad dream?"

"No..." She hates the way her heart drops. Her chest sinks. The way reality crashes in and steals a moment, even a fake one, from her. "Maybe."

Beau's breathing heavily and Jester wonders if maybe she wasn't really awake to begin with. A few seconds pass and she slowly lays back down in her bed, knowing she's going to have a long, lonely night of sorting out her head.

But Beau grunts (Jester ignores the reminiscent pulse of want that echoes through her) and pats her bed. "You can sleep with me if you're scared."

It's probably not a good idea.

Probably a bad idea.

Almost definitely a bad idea, especially with how preoccupied her thoughts are these days. How loose the control she has over what she wants, and what she's doing about it.

But that doesn't stop Jester from climbing into Beau's bed and snuggling up against her back. From looping her arm around a warm waist, and her tail around Beau's leg.

So what if her mind plays tricks on her and tells her that Beau hums again, sinking back into her embrace?

Xorhas has an unfathomably beautiful sky. It's so big and open, a stretch of purple that fades to blue that fades to black, with pink just barely peeking over the horizon, and an explosion of stars scattered across it all. There are patches, true, where the night is so dark that you can't see your hand in front of your face, but out in these open fields, the stars shine so bright that she can sketch in the soft glow of light.

Especially in the little pocket of wildlife they've found. With grass so green that in the dark, the roots give off a faint blue luminescent glow. Splashes of purple pop up with the mushrooms, and Caduceus snores amongst the orange flowers that almost seem to cradle him while he sleeps.

Jester couldn't sleep if she tried, not when there's so much beauty to capture, to memorize and desperately sketch. None of her inks do the colours justice and her hand cramps painfully, but she can't stop.

"It's not as pretty down south," Yasha murmurs from her side of Caleb's bubble. Jester twitches and looks up in surprise, watching the little smile that graces the barbarian's face. "Sorry."

"You apologize a lot," Jester tells her thoughtfully.

And nothing more, just an observation, surface deep. Or it would be if those purple eyes didn't hold the same kind of scrutiny that Caleb's do when he's studying. "I do," Yasha agrees. "Do you want me to take next watch?"

"If you'd like. I might stay up a little longer, I'm not sleepy." She doesn't mention the hassle that is sleeping lately, how she can't get her dreams under control and she's worried about letting something slip while she's asleep. She doesn't mention the sour twist in her stomach, looking over to see Beau between Caduceus and Nott, no room for Jester.

She doesn't mention that she wants Beau so badly that her unconscious is screaming at her.

It's not Yasha's problem, it's barely a problem. Not worthy of anyone's time, not when they're out here to rescue Yeza. Not with the risk of death looming over them. Not with war on the ever approaching horizon.

Jester has a crush, who cares.

"Are you alright?" Yasha asks softly. And her gaze. Her gaze is so gentle, so compassionate, and Jester knows that Yasha would care. That if she told her, explained that her heart hurts, Yasha would care enough to help without hesitation.

But Yasha is maybe part of the problem. Yasha maybe holds Beau's heart in her hands. Beau maybe holds Yasha's broken one. And the last thing Jester wants, the last thing she would ever do, is hurt her friends.

Still. What is it that Caleb is always saying? Knowledge is power, neither good nor bad. A resource to use and share.

"Yasha, how..." Jester adjusts her sketchbook in her lap and casts a glance around their group, careful to be quiet. Prying ears are not what she needs.

Seemingly following that line of thought, Yasha stands silently. She holds out her hand and jerks her chin to the side, very easily pulling Jester up to her feet.

They don't go as far as they did last time. The fear lingers down both of their spines, remembering the last time the two of them, and Fjord, had wandered too far from the group. They stay close enough that Yasha could kick stones at the bubble if she needed to.

"What's on your mind, Jester?" she asks and fiddles with the little bracelet that Nott had given her.

Jester stares out at the sky, where the blue and the black collide and make something daunting and hopeful. "How did you know you loved Zuala?"

"Oh." Jester glances up to see Yasha's eyebrows bounce and the smile stretch across her face. Her large shoulders slump, entire stance relaxing. "You had such a serious look on your face, I thought something was wrong." Her smile... doesn't fade, but it softens into something more tender. Her mismatched eyes skirt the area, always alert for danger, but she looks... happy. And sad. It's weird. "I suppose I always loved her, but I guess I knew, for sure, on our first hunt together."

Simple delight flares at her edges and Jester pours herself into it like she always does, so desperate to make those feelings last as long as she can. Knowing that they will fade - they always fade. So she twirls in place and clasps her hands under her chin. "Was it super romantic?"

"Well..." Pink slowly creeps across Yasha's cheeks, she scratches at the back of her neck and ducks her head. "Not really, no. But it was nice. Sweet. I fell out of a tree."

"Oh my gods, Yasha, that is so cute!" Jester gushes brightly. She can totally picture it - big badass Yasha with her warpaint and rippling muscles... falling out of a tree in front of her crush. "What happened?"

"Oh," she sighs and scoffs, a chuckle mixed in. "If that wasn't bad enough, I landed on her. She twisted her ankle and I spent an hour trying to heal it but, well, I couldn't do what I can now. So I carried the boar and her back to camp."

"You're so strong!"

Yasha bobs her head in a nod because, yeah, she's really fucking strong. "I was so nervous with her in my arms and so embarrassed about falling on her, I got lost. We spent the night in a hollow tree."

Jester hums thoughtfully and taps her chin. "And that's when you knew?"

"Yes."

"How??"

"Later in the night she told me that I didn't really land on her, so much as she tried to catch me," Yasha murmurs with a twist to her lips and a sparkle in her eye. "And that she didn't point out we were heading in the wrong direction because she didn't want our hunting trip to end."

"And that's when you knew?" Jester asks and Yasha nods. Which is frustratingly unhelpful, if not super sweet. "But how did you know?"

Yasha sighs and brings her hands up onto her hips. Stares up at the sky and thinks about it. "I don't know. I just... felt it. My chest was so full of this giddy warmth that I could hardly breathe, my cheeks hurt from smiling. I guess, I don't know, I realized my life would always be better with her in it and that I wanted to spend the rest of it by her side."

It's not something to cry over, like, okay, yeah, it's such a lovely story and maybe it is super sad when she thinks about it. Knowing that Yasha had that and lost it, lost Zuala. But it's sharp, it tears through Jester's chest like the talons of a roc, and she chokes back a sob. Buries her face in her palms and holds her tears at bay.

For a while, at least, for a moment where she's not sure if she'll ever stop feeling like this. But then strong, warm fingers pull Jester's hands from her face - Yasha ducking to catch her watery eyes, concern shining back at her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Jester insists in a broken voice, even as she pushes a beaming smile on her face and it is perfect. Jester's smile is always perfect - the perfect tinge of mischief, the perfect flash of joy, perfectly warm, and perfectly charming... not even her tears can take away from it. "Everything is fine, of course!"

Yasha swipes a thumb along Jester's cheek, wiping away a tear, and smiles softly. "That is an impressive trick."

"I'm okay!"

"It's alright if you're not," she insists gently.

Jester's chest tightens and she sucks in a sharp breath. "I'm totally fine, Yasha!"

"Even a mountain bows to the sky."

She shakes her head and clenches her fists. "What's with everyone and the sky lately? Why don't you just marry it?"

"I-... well, I actually don't have a reply to that. It's a pretty weird thing to say," Yasha tells her fondly.

So sweet. So patient. Jester nods and falls forward, sinking into the barbarian's hug and buries her face in a strong shoulder. "I'm maybe not totally fine, Yasha."

"And that's okay." Yasha hums softly, rubbing comforting circles on the tiefling's back as she cries. They stay like that for a little while as the night rolls by, as Jester lets her heartache pour from her in waves. Yasha never wavers, never pulls away. She simply holds Jester while something is mumbled into her neck. "What?"

Finally, Jester pulls back. She flashes an embarrassed but grateful smile and wipes at her eyes. "I like Beau."

"I know."

Wait. "Wait. What?"

They both look back towards the bubble where the monk stretches her foot out where Jester had been sitting. Where their friends, their family, slumber peacefully. Yasha inclines her head again. "I don't say much, and I won't mention it, but I see almost as much as Caduceus."

"Are you upset?"

Apparently, it's a weird thing to ask, if Yasha twisting to look at Jester like she grew another head is any indication. "No."

"It's just." Jester shakes her head and sniffles again, waving her hand towards the bubble. "She's always flirting with you, like, so super obviously."

Again, Yasha blinks and considers this. "Yeah, but... why would that make me upset if you like her?"

"She's yours...?"

"People don't belong to people," is Yasha's automatic reply. But her lips tug down in a frown and she shifts, rolling a shoulder. "But I get what you're saying and I think Beau and I understand each other. I will always be Zuala's, even if Beau likes to... poke. It's our thing."

"You don't want her?" Jester wonders with something like hope in her chest.

And Yasha chuckles, a frustrated noise. "You really need to word these things differently." She sighs and hangs a hand on the back of her neck. "I... I'm okay with how things are. It's how I want them to be, I couldn't... I can't be what Beau wants or needs."

Another comfortable silence lingers between them for a beat. They watch the monk stretch her foot down farther, towards the edge of the bubble.

"Jester, you are everything she wants and needs," Yasha tells her so softly she almost doesn't hear. "I'm not sure if either of you know it but I hope you realize it soon."

The cleric scoffs. "Right, because-"

"Jester!" Beau gasps and wrenches up in the middle of the bubble. Her frantic eyes fall over each other member around her and she twists up onto her knees. "Jester!"

"AHH!" Nott darts up to her feet, spinning around wildly with the crossbow in her hands. "Where are they? Who am I shooting?"

Caleb pops up beside her with a flaming fist, his eyes still closed. "Put down your weapons or forfeit your own face!"

Jester drags Yasha back towards the bubble. "Shhh! Beau, I'm here! Guys, quiet! You're going to wake up every creature in a hundred miles."

"Jes," Beau sighs in relief and springs from the bubble, not even at Jester before she starts reaching. Jester lets herself be dragged into a rough hug, while Beau places her hand on Yasha's shoulder. "What are you guys doing out of the bubble?"

"Stretching our legs," Yasha mumbles sheepishly. "Sorry. Sorry, Nott."

"I'll fuck you up," the goblin gargles - half asleep still. "Nobody takes my babies."

"Put it down before someone loses an eye," Fjord warns without lifting his head from Caduceus' arm.

She drops back on her butt, rubbing at her eyes, and yawns. "Alright. Just say the word and I'll blast 'em between the eyes."

Caleb wordlessly drops back into the grass and curls around Frumpkin.

"You should join them," Yasha says and nods towards the group. She presses her hand against Jester's back, guiding both of them towards the bubble. "I've got second watch."

Beau muffles her yawn in Jester's shoulder and scratches her cheek. "You sure? I can take it."

"No, I'm fine. Go to sleep."

She nods and steps between Fjord and Caduceus' legs, stopping only when their hands threaten to separate. She blinks sleepy eyes at the tiefling, a drowsy smile. "Comin'?"

"Yes," Jester breathes and crawls down between her fellow cleric and the literal girl of her dreams. Caduceus mutters something about flora and scratches his chest, sighing so deeply it disturbs the fireflies gathered in his hair. Jester stares up at them as they flutter and buzz, biting her lip when Beau curls into her side. "Goodnight, Beau."

"Don't stab me with a horn."

She can't smother the snort and freezes when Beau groans, readjusting to nestle her face in Jester's neck to shield her eyes from errant points. "Goodnight, Beau."

"Gonna make me say it?" She can feel the smile against her skin. "Goodnight, Jester."

"If you hurt him..."

"I know, Nott."

"If you so much as make him cry..."

"I know, Nott."

"I'll drown you again."

"I know, Nott."

"Okay. You better. He's a prince and he deserves to be treated like a prince. Now come give me a hug, floppy wrist. I'm very happy and proud of both of you."

"Aww. Someone's a big old softie under that tiny, prickly, drunken exterior."

"I will literally smother you in your sleep, is that what you want? Is this happening right now, is it go time? Put up your fragile little fists, I'm ready to go toe-to-toe with the wet tissue paper man."

She watches Fjord raise his fists, hopping side to side on his feet and feigning a couple jabs down at the goblin. Nott bares her teeth, fishing around in her coat, and Fjord is up the tree when she yanks out a vial of acid. Jester smothers her giggle in her palm, giving up on her sketch to quickly recreate the image in her book.

A shadow falls over her and she twists, holding her hand up to block the sun and squint at Beau. Her heart thuds painfully in her chest and she offers a brilliant smile. "Hi!"

"Hey," is tossed at her casually and the monk drops to the ground next to her, elbow hooked over her propped up knee. "How's it going?"

"You know, pretty good!" Jester sings and closes her book. It's been a few days since she's really spoken to Beau, more than a couple words in passing, or meaningless things amongst the group. She's glad they're heading back into town today, that they'll get to room together again. "How are you?"

The scars on her shoulder are still fresh, the swipe from the Bugbear particularly deep. Jester hates that Beau so willingly throws herself between her friends and danger, so eager to be a damage sponge. But she knows it only really became an issue after Molly, that Beau only started excessively doing it after he fell.

Jester knows she's not the only one who carries the guilt of walking away from the Iron Shepards.

"I'm pretty good," Beau echoes. Her hard eyes study the scene playing out before them, amusement making them sparkle like sapphires. "So." She clears her throat and tilts her head, glancing at Jester. "Fjord and Caleb."

"I know!" Jester gasps and presses a hand to her heart before leaning against Beau. "It's super cute, I can hardly handle it!"

Beau nods, let's Jester jostle her roughly, and grins. "No, yeah. That's... cute, I guess."

"Beau, you're still tough even if you think things are cute."

"Hey, I know. I'm very secure in my toughness. I think you're cute and I'm still tough," she replies gruffly and dramatically tugs at her vestments. But Jester hardly notices, her brain hooked on Beau's words and looping them over and over again. Beau brushes her knuckles against her jaw and stares out at their friends. "I just wanted to check in, make sure things were... pretty good. I know you like Fjord and stuff."

It's heartwarming, how much effort she's going to. Jester knows this isn't exactly Beau's forte, she's not into talking about feelings, or having feelings, or talking... but she's trying. For Jester. And it's the sweetest thing ever.

Even if she's a little wrong.

Jester hums and straightens up, smoothing her hands over the cover of her sketchbook. "I don't like Fjord like that, actually," she says as matter-of-factly as she can. She can see Beau whip her head around out the corner of her eye, and smirks. "I mean, don't get me wrong. He was super fun to flirt with and poke - he's very pretty, and charming, and funny, and handsome! So handsome."

"Yup, pretty, gotcha," Beau grumbles roughly.

Jester's smirk deepens and she tilts her head, leaning sideways to look up at Beau. "Not as pretty as you, of course." She waits for the blush to slowly unfurl up Beau's neck and straightens up again. "He checked a lot of the boxes that all of my stories told me had to be checked and I think maybe I got confused? He was my first boy friend and all the girls' boy friends eventually become their boyfriends, that's how it goes."

"Ugh, compulsive heteronormative ideals."

Jester nods, a little confused again, but utterly serious. "Yes, yes, quite. Hetertive ideas."

With a chuckle, Beau drops her face into her palm to hide her grin. "So you don't like Fjord?"

"I love Fjord!" she gasps earnestly.

"But not in the way that would have you crushed over him and Caleb getting together."

"No, I'm so happy for them!"

Beau stares at her for a few lingering moments where Jester digs her fingers into her knees to keep from leaning in. When Beau looks off again, she sighs in relief and relaxes. "Good. That, uh, you're not heartbroken or whatever. That's good. For you."

"Very good for me," Jester agrees.

Beau blinks. "Yup."

"... yeah."

"Great."

"Good."

She sniffs and nods, squinting up at the bright sky. "So I'm gonna go."

And gone she is, quick like a bunny, hopping up to her feet so she can dart away. Jester watches her dash towards the trees where Caleb reads, and sighs roughly. "Traveler, what the heck was that?" she groans and flops back in the dirt. "It was so awkward!"

With Essik gone and important conversations out of the way, everyone feels their exhaustion catch up to them. The emotional and mental fatigue of almost losing everything, only for Caleb to play the most powerful hand in their deck, to becoming heroes of the dynasty, all the way to having actually rescued Yeza? It's more than anyone can handle in a single afternoon and they all trudge down the hallway to their rooms.

Nott tugs Yeza by the hand, a nervous smile on her face as they enter their room, and something in Jester's chest flutters. Beau rubs at her sore shoulder, making for the next door, her serious and sharp cloud still lingering around her.

Jester knows this isn't the nicest situation for her to be in. While dangerous for them all, especially the humans, Jester wonders if it's not more precarious for a monk of the Cobalt Soul, for someone with connections to higher powers within the Empire, for someone who still belongs to something. She doesn't know how to lessen that burden, that worry. Doesn't know how to smooth the jagged edges that the group keeps getting caught on ever since they got here.

Maybe Beau is just tired.

Maybe it will be easier in the morning.

Maybe she needs a reminder that they're still friends? Still family? That while their lives change, their cores do not, and she might be with the Cobalt Soul but she's also one of them, and they won't let anything happen to her.

There's no time to second guess the decision - Jester sprints down the hallway to catch up and flings herself on Beau's back for a piggyback ride, her cackle echoing down the hall.

But Beau is tired and not Yasha or Jester herself, she drops to her knees and claws at the door as they fall. "Fucking what?!" she gasps as they go.

Jester winces as Beau's knees make impact with the floorboards. "Shit! Sorry!" she gasps and tries to skitter off.

Except Beau hooks her hands under Jester's knees and, with a grunt, pushes up to her feet again. They careen backwards, Jester's back slamming against Fjord and Caleb's door. "I got this," Beau grinds out between her teeth and Jester giggles, hugs her tightly from behind.

They angle forward and swoop quickly - Jester catches them with her hands on their door. "Careful!"

"Shh! Don't worry."

"Beau, just let me down!"

"Fuck that, I got you."

"Okay, bend down a little, I can't reach the handle."

"Sweet... Wildmother... my fucking knees..."

Jester fumbles with the handle and shoves the door in but without it, they lose their balance and go toppling into the room. Beau gasps and Jester shrieks, palms slamming against the wooden floor. Beau sags against it and Jester can feel the laughter against her chest. "Beau, are you okay?" she giggles.

"Always," comes the muffled reply. She twists beneath Jester, agile and lithe, and always, always so squirmy.

Her brown cheeks are flushed, dark hair clinging to her forehead, and Jester's heart jumps up into her throat. Blue melts into purple, they stare at each other for a beat... and then two.

Jester's tail sways side to side behind her head, she only notices when Beau's eyes flick to track the movement. When the grin on the monk's face smooths into something more tender. Jester leans her weight on one hand and her knee between Beau's, lifting a hand to brush back the hair on Beau's forehead, to tuck it back up with the rest. She trails her fingertips back down the side of her face and Beau's eyelashes flutter.

This is what she wants. It clicks in her chest, like the softest lock. This is where she wants to be, to spend the rest of her life by Beau's side. With her or with her, in any capacity the monk will have her. Not like her stories, not happily ever after, but something real.

Real like this.

Beau tilts her chin up to press her lips against Jester's.

#cr spoilers #a little #at the end #also maybe almost smut?#idk man #jestergard #beaujester #critical role #the mighty nein

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ninamodaffari · 1 year

Text

Yuri, orphaned at the age of seven, reunited with his newly resurrected parents after their souls were stuck in the bodies of gnolls for thirteen years.

Just DND things.

#Art #My art #Sketch #Yuri Galkin #Vera Galkin #Petyr Galkin #My ocs #Ocs #Digital art #Doodle #Dnd #Dungeons and dragons #Dnd5e

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truly-sincerely · 25 days

Text

Even More Comprehensive BG3 Timeline

(Now with citations!) Years in (paren) are confirmed, all other lines are approximations. For my own sanity this timeline is based on available in-game information and not the Forgotten Realms at large.

1450s

Enver Flymm born

Gale Dekarios born (1457)

Enver Flymm sold to Raphael by his parents, renamed Gortash

Gortash learns about Crown of Karsus while a prisoner of Raphael

1460s

Karlach Cliffgate born

Gortash escapes the House of Hope

Gale Dekarios summons Tara the Tressym (1467)

Wyll Ravengard born (1468)

1470s

Lae’zel of K’liir born (1470)

Gortash in his Heapside Reavers period

Gortash rebrands as a black market arms dealer

Orin the Red born to Helena and Sarevok Anchev

Durge begins their serial killing spree in Baldur’s Gate (1477)

The Emperor dominates Duke Belynne Stelmane (1479)

1480s

Elminster resurrects Mystra (1480)

Gortash trades Karlach to Zariel for infernal machines & iron (1482)

Baldur’s Gate’s Beloved Ranger statue goes missing (1482)

Duke Abdel Adrian murdered during Returning Day speech (1482) - Bhaal resurrected - Ulder Ravengard replaces Adrian as Grand Duke

Orin kills her mother Helena in self-defense

Gortash recruits Franc Peartree to distribute infernal iron weapons

Gortash establishes a cult of Bane in Baldur’s Gate

Gortash approaches Durge about an alliance

Gortash moves against the Zhentarim & Knights of the Shield

Wyll Ravengard pact with Mizora, leaves Baldur’s Gate (1485)

Dead Three made aware of the Crown of Karsus (most likely informed by Gortash)* - Gortash becomes Bane’s Chosen - Durge becomes Bhaal’s chosen - Gortash & Durge are instructed to recruit Ketheric

Gortash tells Durge about Crown of Karsus (via correspondence)

Hall of Wonders test mission* - Durge gets Bhaalist memorabilia - Gortash gets a bunch of Gondian designs - Durge & Gortash get companionship

1490s

The Chosen visit Ketheric at Moonrise, learn about Illithid colony

Gortash & Durge visit the House of Hope (for intel on Mephistar?)

Gortash & Durge raid Mephistar - They get the Crown of Karsus - They get the book on the accelerated grand design

Gortash captures the Emperor

Gortash & Durge return to Moonrise - Their identities are kept secret from Ketheric’s people - Durge impresses the Moonrise Gnolls, but not Steelclaw - Ketheric yells at Durge in the throne room for an unknown reason

Durge proposes their plan to the Elder Brain who accepts

Raid on the illithid colony (1491) - Durge puts the Crown on the Elder Brain - Orin gets Durge alone during the raid & stabs them in the head - Orin tadpoles Durge, making them the first True Soul - Orin leave Durge in a pod - Orin declares herself the Chosen of Bhaal

1492

Durge breaks out of the pod & is found by Kressa Bonedaughter

Minsc captured by Absolutists at a recruitment rally in the Undercity

Gortash gets weird and intense with unethical experiments - Some futzing to get the tadpoles to consistently remain in stasis - This is when the name ‘True Souls’ gets coined - Extremely questionable fun with brains - Getting the Absolute’s voice sorted out - Tadpoling his parents - Poorly conceived experiments on children & their parents

Gortash has Iron Throne converted to hold hostages

Gortash presents prototype Steel Watcher to the city council

Jaheira tracks cult to shadow-cursed land, meets Isobel

Minthara Baenre is recruited by Orin and Ketheric

The Descent, Elturel falls into Avernus happens

Guild Bursar Uktar launders money for Gortash’s Campaign funds

Isobel is resurrected by the Dead Three

The Elder Brain sends the Chosen dreams about the Astral Prism

Gortash researches the Prism, finds out that Vlaakith has it

Gortash tasks Ketheric with sending a team to get the Astral Prism - They send a nautiloid piloted by the Emperor and other illithid - The Elder Brain lets the Emperor slip its leash - Magthew Budj arranges for Durge to be on the nautiloid as well

Gortash deploys Steel Watch in Lower/Outer City

At this point Elturel is no longer in Avernus

First Druid Halsin captured by goblins

Nautiloid picks up Shadowheart & the Prism from Astral Plane

Nautiloid picks up Lae’zel

Nautiloid goes to Baldur’s Gate, picks up Gale & Astarion

Nautiloid goes to Avernus, picks up Karlach & Wyll

Nautiloid crashes, (20 Eleasis, 1492)

Some helpful links:

A page from Sarevok’s book: Sarevok - (Murder tribunal)

Accelerated Grand Design: Gortash -

An Offer: Gortash - (Peartree basement)

Aquatic Labor: Gortash - (Flymm’s Cargo Basement)

Baldur’s Gate Temple of Bhaal: Yanthus - (Gortash’s Office)

Balthazar’s Notes: Balthazar - (Necrotic laboratory)

Clasped Book: Balthazar - (Balthazar’s chambers)

Devil’s Fee Observer’s Report**: Himberloo - (Nine-Fingers’ office)

Elder Brain Domination: Ketheric/Yanthus - (Ketheric’s Room)

Enhanced Weapons - Sales Ledger: Peartree - (Peartree basement)

Experiment on Cruor: Orin - (Temple of Bhaal)

How To Build a Watcher: deceased Gondian - (Steel Watch foundry)

Journal of Enver Gortash: Gortash - (Gortash’s Office)

Magical Histories: Volume 2: The Spellplague: unknown - (Sorcerous Sundries)

Memoir Notes with Recent Addenda: Gortash - (Gortash’s office)

Missive from Gortash: Gortash - (Ketheric’s room)

Missive from Ketheric: Ketheric - (Moonrise, 2nd floor)

Mistress of Souls’ Research Log: Kressa - (Mind flayer barracks)

My Gratitude: Gortash - To Peartree (Peartree basement)

Next Steps: Gortash - (Gortash’s office)

Prayer for Forgiveness: Durge - (Necrotic laboratory)

Scrapbook of Letters: Gortash/Durge - (Flymm’s Cobblers)

Special Operations - Infernal Arms: Uktar -

Studies of the Elder Brains: Gortash/Yanthus - (Gortash’s Office)

Suspended Ceremorphosis: Gortash/Yanthus - (Tadpoling center)

Test Mission with Gortash: Durge - (Temple of Bhaal)

The Astral Prism Heist: Gortash - (Gortash’s office)

The Dukes of Baldur’s Gate: unknown - (Baldur’s Mouth/Peartree’s house)

The Grand Design: Gortash/Yanthus - (Mind flayer colony)

The True Life of ‘Lord’ Gortash: a skeleton - (Wyrm’s Rock Prison)

The Ultimate State: Gortash - (Gortash’s office/Flymm’s Cobblers)

*an in-game contradiction between Gortash and Durge. See: ‘Test Mission with Gortash’ and ‘Memoir Notes with Recent Addenda’. I’ve placed it after, but there’s also a legitimate argument to be made that Gortash and Durge met and became allies much earlier, possibly around the same time as Gortash’s betrayal of Karlach

**no link cuz the bg3.wiki doesn’t have it??

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winterironspringfling · 5 years

Text

2019 Spring Fling: Gift List

As always, a huge, heartfelt THANK YOU to everyone who was a part of the exchange this year; the helpers, the participants, the people now leaving comments and kudos, and everyone who helped spread the word by liking and sharing our posts. This exchange wouldn’t have been possible without you.

You’re the best, you rock, we love you!

And now, without further ado: the complete 2019 WinterIron Spring Fling Gift List!

Enjoy! 💕

Sparks Fly by tisfan for Lets_call_me_Lily Tony travels to Shelbyville, Indianna to fix Bucky’s arm… and while he’s there, maybe they’ll go see the fireworks show together.

🌸🌸🌸

The Winter Sentinel by james for tarot_card Bucky tests as a Sentinel when he's thirteen, and he knows it means his life won't be easy.

Which is a bit of an understatement, really.

🌸🌸🌸

When We Met In Paris by TheVagabondBoy for scarynoodles Neither Tony nor Bucky expected to run into each other in a bar in Paris.

🌸🌸🌸

Mechanical Creations by celtic7irish for yourselenite Tony Stark is a tattoo artist who gains inspiration from all things technical. When Tall, Dark, and Handsome walks in wanting a cover-up tattoo, Tony is only too happy to oblige. Oh, and did he mention? He really, really likes that metal arm.

🌸🌸🌸

My soul screams for you by IronEyes for Potrix In Siberia Tony learns how his parents really died. In Siberia Tony gets betrayed by one of his best friends. In Siberia Tony finds the killer of his parents and… his soulmate. Tony has no idea how to handle this, but he can’t stay away from Bucky.

🌸🌸🌸

The Beautiful Light of Madness in Your Eyes by tisfan for shadowgrl94 In the Soul Stone, time is relative, people are at peace. It is a paradise, but also a trap. Can Tony break the trap and bring everyone home?

Especially when he risks losing the only thing that matters...

🌸🌸🌸

To keep you safe inside my arms by ShadowsintheClouds for celtic7irish Tony and Bucky had been secretly dating for a while. They loved having their little secret. It was something special between them. But, a night out by the lake with the other Avengers threatens to take their secret away from them.

🌸🌸🌸

Kiss Me Deadly by yourselenite for MassiveSpaceWren Just a skip and a jump back in time before World War I where Anthony Stark and James Barnes are secretly together in the early 1900s.

🌸🌸🌸

Hold You Close (To Keep You Warm) by ChaoticDemon for sara_wolfe Five times Tony and Bucky cuddled for warmth and one time they didn't bother with the pretense.

🌸🌸🌸

Where No Other Love Goes by Stark-N-Barnes for TheSopherfly “I want to,” he confessed.

Bucky flinched.

“What?”

Tony stared at him with a look in his eyes that spoke more volume than words, as the realisation wrapped itself around Bucky.

“I don't want to hurt you…” he whispered.

“Bucky…”

~or~

That time Bucky was undoubtedly in love with Tony, but didn't think he could have him.

🌸🌸🌸

And the light, it shines from you by Lets_call_me_Lily for its_inherited Tony and Bucky snuggling in bed; it's been a long day.

🌸🌸🌸

Connection and Intent by SierraNovembr for sleepoverwork When Tony’s father is murdered, he takes a desperate risk to uncover the truth and save the man he loves. It changes his life forever.

🌸🌸🌸

Puppy Love by Reioka for ShadowsintheClouds Bucky is learning to become a person again. When some guy starts crying all over Natasha's dog, he decides he's doing better than he originally thought.

🌸🌸🌸

Howlin' For You by justanotherpipedream for james When the sun goes down, Sheriff Bucky sets up his rifle, ready to shoot any gnoll, ghoul or beast that tries to raid his small town in the cover of the night. Night after night, Bucky keeps watch, running himself ragged all the while. Worried for his friend, Steve offers a solution to his problem.

“So your solution is that I get myself a mail order bride? An’ then what?”

“Or groom. We knew you like both options. You need a partner Bucky.”

🌸🌸🌸

Promises by Iron_Eirlyssa for Lunatical When a mission goes wrong, it leaves Bucky and Tony trapped together, waiting for help. That might turn out to be a good thing in the end, though.

🌸🌸🌸

We Fuck With the Lights On by badgerling for tisfan Bucky wakes up naked in a room. Tony Stark wakes up naked in the same room. Turns out, they're both actually okay with that.

🌸🌸🌸

Redemption by Lunatical for calmena After remembering they were responsible for the deaths of Howard and Maria Stark, Bucky and the Soldier start watching over Tony in a desperate attempt to redeem themselves. When the Avengers get ready to raid the Hydra base that's housing Loki's scepter, they're there to intervene.

Of course, they didn't expect to end up at Stark Tower, living alongside a bunch of superheroes, and they certainly didn't think they'd end up falling in love with Tony Stark. Especially since the man still doesn't know what they've done.

Will Tony ever be able to forgive them?

🌸🌸🌸

The Stranger in the Woods by TheSopherfly for JenJo “Mage shouldn’t be walkin’ in these woods alone at night,” James said.

Mage. So James knew, then. About Tony’s powers. Tony breathed deeply, the warm ghost of steam rising from his mug and tickling his nostrils. “Why’s that?” he asked, curiosity getting the better of him. He’d felt something in the forest, of course, but forests were always full of creatures and strange energies. Too many trees in one place scrambled his senses almost as well as a confusion charm.

“There are things in here that like mages a little too much,” James said, and Tony hung on the words in fascination. “Plenty of things that don’t like mages, too.”

🌸🌸🌸

Fine Art by endof_theline for SierraNovembr Tony is a pre-tenure professor at the national defense research institute. His life is a ball of stress until he meets Bucky the barista at the local and remembers that there’s more to life than the next publication, but he might just be able to help with it.

🌸🌸🌸

Roses for a Wallflower by tarot_card for burbear Bucky keeps finding flowers: in his favorite books, on his spot on the couch, in his breakfast cereal box, you name it. When he looks up what the names are, he also finds their meanings, ranging from forgiveness to friendship to even romantic feelings.

🌸🌸🌸

(Don't) Believe My Words by FreyaS for IronEyes Tony Stark grew up knowing he was a disappointment and a failure in the eyes of not only his father but his eventual soulmate. After all, the words "I wish I'd never met you" can only be a rejection, right?

Bucky knew that he'd love the soulmate that would give him his beautiful soulwords but sometimes he feared they would never measure up to his celebrity crush, Tony Stark.

🌸🌸🌸

a tale of the lil' mer who could by sleepoverwork for badgerling Little mermaid meets Anthony Edward Stark and it turns out about as well as how you think it would.

(The scene of the shipwreck with Ariel meeting and saving Prince Eric, bless Part of your World, still one of my favorite songs even after all of these years)

Tony just needed space, which is exactly why he idiotically swam to the surface after dark, away from the safety and constriction that came from his pod, his home.

If given the chance, Tony knows he could find and save his parents. He just didn't know how to prove to everyone and the spirits of the sea he could, and would, do just that.

🌸🌸🌸

You Are My Sunshine by EchoSiriusRumme for gryvon Tony is captured and deaged while on a business trip, but the team - his family - jumps right into action to take care of their tiny, shy resident genius while they figure out how to fix this. Or at least, they try to, concern growing each time he freezes at the sight of Steve.

But that was something personal, whispered to Bucky between frustrated tears one night, so Bucky wouldn’t be telling that secret unless push came to shove.

Too bad for Tony....it does.

🌸🌸🌸

Perestroika by blue_pointer for InsaneJuliann According to Doctor Strange's vision, Tony Stark is the only man who can save the universe from the Decimation. But who will save Tony Stark? Bucky must use the Time stone to travel to the past and make sure Tony makes it safely to 2023.

🌸🌸🌸

Drowning by sara_wolfe for EchoSiriusRumme It was only supposed to be a prank. It wasn't supposed to go this wrong...

🌸🌸🌸

Travelling the world only to end up home by JenJo for hopespym Bucky has been travelling with his son to try and find a blacksmith who can fix his arm.

He ends up back where everything started for him, in a place where he had once dared to dream of a future, before he had his heart broken.

Tony has spent his time building a name for himself as the blacksmith who can fix anything and everything. He never expected to see the man who broke his heart walk through his door.

🌸🌸🌸

What happens in Zurich by siyuttov for TheVagabondBoy Tony Stark is sent to evaluate the Winter Soldier, who claims to have defected from Hydra and is hoping SHIELD can help take down his former employers.

🌸🌸🌸

Not Ideal but Workable by calmena for marsmaywander Tony and Bucky go on a date. It goes about as wrong as it can, to the surprise of exactly nobody.

They make it work, anyway.

🌸🌸🌸

tell me who i am (because i don't know) by scarynoodles for ChaoticDemon “Is that all you called me here for?”

Tony stands up abruptly, walking around the desk and glancing out one of the windows. “No, actually. See, Pepper’s been nagging me to get an actual bodyguard since that happened. Usually, I would just argue that I don’t need one, since – technically, I’m my own bodyguard, but now she won’t let up since I was in the suit and still couldn’t fight back against a civilian.” Tony ignores the heat crawling up the back of his neck at that. It had been pretty embarrassing that he’d been jumped like that. “I figured, I might as well hire someone on my own terms before she did it for me. And you’re a good guy, clearly, otherwise you wouldn’t have done what you did. So, want to become my bodyguard?”

It's 2012, and the Avengers have defeated Loki and his army. Tony has a new bodyguard, and all seems well.

Except – his bodyguard acts really strangely at times, and he doesn't seem to be caught up with the world around him. He has a dark, mysterious past which he refuses to divulge beyond little tidbits. Once, he claimed to have killed people. Not to mention he reminds Tony of someone he used to know – someone he used to love – decades ago.

🌸🌸🌸

How to Survive a Haunted House by marsmaywander for Briz “Lord save me from crazy white boys,” were probably going to be Rhodey’s last words. He didn’t care what his friend said; this place was haunted, and they were both gonna end up dead because Tony was too taken in by the ample closet space.

🌸🌸🌸

it starts and ends with memory by Rowantreeisme for Arboreal Tony Carbonell is a completely normal professor at MIT. He tutors kids, both in his class and not, and builds things in his free time. He feeds stray cats and drinks too much coffee and wears dorky shirts to class. He's also an Avenger and the son of the late Howard Stark. He's pretty sure, though, that no one except his two closest friends and his AI's know this. And then the Winter Soldier breaks into his home.

🌸🌸🌸

Will you? [Comic] by MassiveSpaceWren for FreyaS Tony hadn't planned his proposal like this...

🌸🌸🌸

Give or Take by beir for BrightEyesIllusionist After everything, the prince could only hope his ill-fated plan would work.

🌸🌸🌸

Near Miss by Arboreal for justanotherpipedream A car accident, the police had said. He could have lost them to something as stupid as a car accident.

He could have lost them, and his last memories of them would be of arguing with his father and ignoring his mother.

Bucky's trigger words begin to fail. This changes things.

🌸🌸🌸

Tony Stark's Home for Wayward Assassins by gryvon for Stark-N-Barnes Tony Stark's too busy running Stark Resilient and making technological breakthroughs in clean energy and medical technology to pay too much attention to all the superheroes that have been popping up since that crazy horned guy trashed New York City. Then one shows up at his house in the middle of the night demanding Tony fix his broken metal arm and Tony can't in good conscious kick him out after.

Or, how a Tony Stark that never became Iron Man ended up with a Russian assassin living in his mansion.

🌸🌸🌸

Moonshine by InsaneJuliann for blue_pointer Tony's a werewolf and a single dad, which means he doesn't have much time for the dating scene. But a small push from friends leads to him meeting Bucky. Totally human, great, and very interested Bucky. And for the first time in a while, Tony's interested in more than just a life that orbits around only his daughter.

🌸🌸🌸

Fake It 'Til You Make It by hopespym for Reioka So sure. Since he’d gotten back from his station overseas, life hadn’t really been treating him too good.

Before he’d gone he’d had no trouble at all finding someone for the night and even managed a couple of relationships that had all (seemingly) been going pretty well until he’d been left behind as the others continued on with their lives, and after he’d gotten back he hadn’t even really bothered anything.

And all Tinder got him was mugged one time.

🌸🌸🌸

Iron Man: Legend of the Seven Seas by BrightEyesIllusionist for Rowantreeisme Tony Stark is a black hearted pirate who ran away from home years ago. His latest target? The legendary Book of Peace which maintains the treaty between the kingdoms. But the God of Chaos has other plans for the book, and yet more for the black hearted pirate.

🌸🌸🌸

fight 'til we see the sunlight by burbear for siyuttov There are days where Tony regrets not going back on his word, where he wishes he had told Steve “No, actually, keep that murderer out of my house and as far from me as possible.” Pepper and Rhodey even said he should. Not in as many words, certainly not because of Barnes, but because they know Tony.

Tony knows, though, that the safest place for Barnes—and everyone else, since the first day people found out about the Winter Soldier more and more civilians were getting grand ideas about bringing him in—is the Tower. His only stipulation is that Steve keeps Barnes away from him.

His timer is steadily ticking toward zero, to the day he meets his soulmate, but to be honest? Tony has a lot more on his mind than someone fate picked out for him.

🌸🌸🌸

When It Rains It Pours by DreamcatchersDaughter for beir Bucky's sure Tony is half werewolf, Tony is sure Bucky is all fae.... What happens when they are both wrong?

Or 3 times these idiots got it wrong and 1 time they got it so right.

🌸🌸🌸

Hope and Heroes by Zola9612 for endof_theline Young Tony was born without a soul mark. How does that affect his life?

🌸🌸🌸

Your Hand In Mine by celtic7irish for Harpyienkind Omega Tony Stark is the son of Lord Stark. Ever since he presented as an Omega, he has been promised to Lord Barnes, a ruthless warrior of Hydra that he has never even met. Three months pregnant by his lover and heat-partner, Bucky, Tony is terrified for both himself and the unborn child. But Tony Stark has never backed down before, and he’s not about to start now.

🌸🌸🌸

share and celebrate by Potrix for Zola9612 It’s been almost twenty-four hours, but still none of it seems or feels entirely real.

Well, to be fair, learning about the existence of parallel universes, finding out there’s at least one other Earth that has been destroyed by a threat his Earth isn’t even fully aware of yet, and getting two other-universe versions of people he’s currently not exactly on speaking terms with dropped into his lap has been kind of a lot.

It might take Tony another day—or year, more likely—to wrap his head around all of that.

🌸🌸🌸

Wanted: Boyfriend by Briz for DreamcatchersDaughter Well, it was not every day that a job offer knocked on his door looking like something straight out of a porno.

🌸🌸🌸

Cuddles by Briz for Iron_Eirlyssa Thing is, Tony likes touch. In fact, scratch that - he loves touch. He finds out that so does Bucky.

#winterironspringfling #winteriron #buckytony #tony stark #bucky barnes #gift list

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fiddler-unroofed · 5 years

Text

{four instances of a favor}

(quick author notes: the timeline skips a lot & I used greek for halfling because why not)

warnings for lowkey suicidal thoughts but generally just trying to convince yourself you’re okay with dying, and some mentioned but not very descriptive wounds

Prompt from @idonottlikethishellsite: from the list of shit i hope never actually happens-- been thinking a lot about how reincarnate is the lowest lvl spell that could change nott into something other than a goblin but would require her to die first. the thought of nott purposely wanting to use that spell and trying to talk caleb into it keeps me up nights.

***

"Would you ever let me die?"

The question is asked innocently enough, but it still gives Caleb pause. He turns to look at Nott, but she doesn't meet his glance. Her feet dangle over the tavern table she's sitting on. At her side, her flask lies, their cause for visit.

Caleb nods. "Ja," he says flatly. "Over my dead body."

(Not that it's worth much.)

Nott smiles at him, but it's strained. Her lips are clamped over her teeth like she's holding a secret. "That's very sweet."

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason." Her fingers twist into each other, and she fiddles with them aimlessly. Her feet have started to swing under the table. "Just one of those silly thoughts I get sometimes, Caleb, you know me."

"Mm." He does know her, and that's what worries him. It's only been a few weeks, and already he knows her like the back of his hand, like the color of the sky. He'd know her blind or deaf. Which, by the way, he'd have to be in order to believe such an obvious lie.

He lets it drop anyway. “Long day tomorrow," he says instead, and carefully watches for her reaction. “Lots of shopping.”

It worries him more when she gives him none. "Yeah," she says. Absently. Like she's still turning something over in her mind, molding it into shape. Caleb knows what's it like to overthink things, (he knows it far too well) and he knows it's not what's happening here-- but for the life of him he can't figure out what is.

"Yeah," he echoes in her voice. And then, returning to his own: "I was thinking we could stop by a book shop I found on the way here. It sold many things-- mostly books-- but I think you would like it." He tries for a smile. It falls short. They always do. "Lots of trinkets. For your collection."

Nott's expression remains blank, but by the way her ears droop Caleb knows his approach backfired. Shit.

"My collection," she agrees, fake cheerfully. It sounds as far from sincere as he's ever heard her. "I do love trinkets."

Caleb drops the pretense. "Look," he says hesitantly, "I know I am not the best person to talk to about... things. Or stuff. Or anything, really. But if there is something troubling your mind, something that I am able to help with--"

"No, no," Nott interrupts him. She jumps off the table and dusts herself off briskly. "I'm fine. I swear it. Just drank a drop too much, and well..." She gestures to herself sheepishly. "I'm not always a happy drunk, I guess. I'll be right as rain in the morning."

"Ah," Caleb says. He wants to believe her. He wants it more than anything else right now. "That is all?"

"That's all," Nott promises. She leans up, on tiptoes, and beckons for him to bend down. Caleb does, and before he knows it a sudden warmth tinges his forehead and Nott's pulling away with a look that he can only describe as familiar. He blinks at her owlishly, and she smiles. Still through clamped lips.

"Night, Caleb," she says, turning on her heel and already making her way across the tavern to where they've scoured up enough coin to book a room for the night.

"Good night," he says. He doesn't think she heard him.

Slowly, he reaches up and presses his fingers (the fingers of a murderer) against his forehead. The warmth has already left it.

"Good night," he repeats to no one in particular. It is a good night. No, maybe good is not that right word. It is a strange night, is what it is. Only on strange nights do your little goblin friends ask you odd questions and don't tell you what's wrong and kiss you on the forehead (it's so familiar, like his own mother's when she'd tuck him in at night) before going to sleep at 10 pm.

But then again, he reasons, she gave you her excuse. Who are you not to trust her? She says she drank too much, and this is another side to her you have yet to see. Just because you know her a few weeks does not actually mean you know her a lifetime. Who are you to claim that she's lying?

He stands up, a little more satisfied with his choice, and goes to head after where Nott left. The flask shines forlornly as he passes it, and he takes it by habit, shaking his head a bit at his little friend's forgetfulness.

Then he stops.

The flask is still full.

***

“D'you think you'd be upset?”

They've been on the road a while now, and Caleb is getting antsy. Only a while ago did they encounter a pack of vicious hyena-like creatures (he thinks they're called gnolls) and only a while ago did he have to watch as his little friend nearly got slashed in two. He tried to patch her up, tried to look past the amounts of crimson pouring out of her and do his best, but he's no cleric. Just a wizard.

(Just nothing.)

Nott trails after him now, her eyes drooping and with the faint tinge of iron to her scent. As she asks the question, she sways a bit, and Caleb instantly slows down.

“Upset?” he asks. “Over what?”

Nott shrugs. “Me. I dunno. If I died.”

Caleb stares at her, but she's resolute in not meeting his gaze. Something about the whole scene rings familiar in his mind, and he strains, trying to remember where they might have had this conversation before. A tavern? No matter.

“Ja,” he says, slowly. “I think I would be very upset.”

“Oh.” She rubs at her eyes. “Well, er… how upset? Like on a one to ten scale, maybe? Can I get an approx--”

“Nott,” Caleb says, and gods help him he's already starting to get upset thinking about it, “Are you planning something?”

Nott has the nerve to look offended. “What? No!”

“Then what are you asking me for?”

“It just doesn't make sense to me, that's all.” Nott shrugs, and her footsteps quicken a bit. Caleb picks up the pace as well. “I mean, you could always just revive me, right? You're a wizard. You're magic--” (and oh, how beautiful the word sounds on her lips, like glitter and awe and everything magic was, once, everything magic should be) “--and you're powerful. I don’t think I’d be gone for long.”

(Too powerful, some might say.)

Caleb swallows, and tastes bile at the back of his throat. “Yes, that is true. But I'm no cleric, Nott. And the idea of me reviving you does not cancel out how horrifying you dying would be.”

A pause.

“Do you. Want to die?”

No response. Not even a whisper. Caleb's heart sinks, and for a second, flames flicker in his eyes. He thinks about Nott, jumping in front of him to confront the gnolls. Nott, completely fine with the idea of being torn apart if it meant he would get away safe.

He grabs her arm. She freezes, and Caleb instantly adjusts his grip so it's not hurting her.

“I do not know what you're hiding,” he says softly. “But please. You know you can talk to me, ja? You know that I am here for you? I would do everything in my power for you. You know that, don't you?”

She looks up at him, just two golden eyes blinking in the dark. The mask hides her lower face, and he hates it. Hates not knowing what she's thinking. Hates only being able to read half of her.

“Yes,” she finally says, and relaxes in his grip. “I know. Thank you, Caleb.”

He lets go. That's not the answer he wanted, but he's never been one to push the matter. And Nott seems tired as it is right now.

“Let's camp out here for the night.”

“Okay.”

She helps him light the fire.

For once, his parents are the last thing on his mind.

***

“Caleb!”

Caleb looks up reluctantly from where he's poured over the newest book he's bought. It's a fascinating text all about transmutation and history, and it's wrapped up in the kind of red leather case that makes his heart skip a beat. Being broken out of the trance that comes with it is beyond infuriating.

He opens his mouth to snap out a ‘go away i'm reading’, but stops when he sees Nott's face. It's flushed and excited, pupils round and smile stretching from ear to ear. Something good must have happened. And he always has time for a shred of good news.

He slowly puts the book down and beckons her inside. She looks like she might explode.

“You seem... happy,” he says.

She nods, head bobbing as if on a spring. “As a matter of fact, I am!” she says giddily. “Read this.”

She shoves a bright blue book in his hands (where did she even get that) and waits, bouncing on the balls of her feet impatiently as Caleb examines it. It's a fairly old book, nothing like the red one Caleb was just reading but still in its decades. He squints at the letters before identifying them as Halfling.

He doesn't read Halfling.

Where on earth did Nott get this book?

He hands it back to her in confusion. “I appreciate the literary enthusiasm,” he says slowly, “But Halfling is a tongue I do not speak.”

“No, I know that,” Nott says in a voice that implies she did not, in fact, know that. “But it's a really easy passage, just go to page 117 and you'll see, I've taught you all the words you need to know!”

Caleb sighs and obliges her. Page 117 is in the middle of the book, and based on the scribbled in pencil marks and circled words, he has a feeling it's also the most read part.

He starts to read.

Reincarnation

Casting Time: 1 ώρα

Έκταση: Touch

Components: Σπάνια oils and αλλά πράγματα αξίας at least 1,000 gold και τα λοιπά, δεντρολίβανο

Duration: Instantaneous

Εσύ touch a dead humanoid ή ενα piece of a dead humanoid. Εξαρτιόταν ότι the creature has been dead no longer than 10 days, the spell forms a new ηλικιωμένο body for it and then καλεί την soul to enter το body. If the target’s soul isn’t free or willing να το κάνει, the spell fails and

He closes the book.

“Nott,” he says, and the dread coiling around his heart is all too familiar to him, all too cold and heavy, “what is this?”

Nott grins. “It's a spell, Caleb! A spell that can change people! Isn't it wonderful?”

“Yes,” Caleb says, and pinches the bridge of his nose. His parents’ form flickers in front of him when he closes his eyes. After a second, Nott's joins them.

He hands her back the book and stands up. His foot has fallen asleep, and he tries to shake it awake again but it's too late, now his other foot is asleep too and he's numb all over, numb and cold and confused.

“Why did you show me this?” he asks.

Nott looks at him like it should be obvious. “For me,” she says simply. “I didn't think it was real at first. I don't know much about magic and spells and things, so I thought maybe it wasn't. But then I looked more carefully, searched a few bookstores, nicked a few tomes and-- here it is. The spell that can change me. Reincarnation!”

She does a giddy little jump. Caleb can only stare. He knows how Nott feels about herself. He knows her hopes and dreams, even if they'd never crossed her lips to him. He knows more than she thinks. He always does.

But in this moment, he feels like he doesn't even know who he's talking to.

“Nott,” he says. “This spell requires way too many things than we can afford.”

Her ears droop, but she's still smiling, undeterred. “Like what?”

“Oils. 1000 gold. More things I cannot read.”

Nott laughs, and it's all wrong, this whole conversation is wrong and Caleb wants to go back to reading his red book and acting like this never happened. “Oh, don't worry, I have quite a bit of coin saved on the side. Just a few more months and I'll probably have even more than that book asks for!”

“And the oils?”

“I'll nick them. I dunno. I'll find a way.” She grins. “Oils, Caleb, really, is that what you think is gonna throw me off after all this time?”

“No,” Caleb says, and he hears a faint ringing in his ears, “But I thought the fact that your corpse is required might.”

For the first time, Nott looks a little disturbed. Not a lot. It's barely noticeable, just a quick flit across her big yellow eyes, but it's enough to make Caleb feel better, if only for a moment.

Then the doubt is broken, Nott is clearing her throat, and the ringing in Caleb’s ears has returned.

“Well,” she says simply, “you thought wrong.”

And Caleb leaves the room.

***

“I'll do it without you if I have to.”

Caleb doesn't even turn his head. It's way past midnight where they're staying, and both of them should be sleeping-- but of course, neither of them are.

Neither of them have for what seems like months.

There's a moment before Nott speaks again, her raspy voice slicing through the silence like a knife. “I don't want to. But I will.”

“How will you do that,” Caleb says flatly.

A muffled huff from Nott informs him that his friend isn't sure either. “I don't know yet,” she finally admits. “But I'll find a way. I always do.”

“It's a powerful spell.”

“I have powerful friends.”

“It's difficult.”

“It's worth it for me.”

Caleb nearly pinches his nose on instinct, but stops just in time. He can't bear to close his eyes anymore. They've started playing tricks on him again. They'll show him Nott burned into the insides of his eyelids, Nott bleeding out on the ground and Nott with her little limbs all twisted up and Nott with fire consuming her from the inside out--

He realizes his mouth has gone dry. He swallows.

“You want to die,” he says. It's not a question.

He can almost hear Nott’s shrug, almost hear the flicker of doubt smothered under fierceness. “No. No, I don't want it. But I'm willing to.” A small laugh. “I've always been willing to. For Jester, and Beau, and Fjord, and you--” her voice catches a bit, but she plows on “--and Molly… why can't I do it for myself for once?”

Caleb doesn't answer her. He doesn't know what he'd say.

There's another beat of silence before Nott speaks again.

“I was so happy when I heard about it,” she confesses quietly. “I didn’t even know about the coming back as me part. I thought that when I died, I’d come back as someone brand new. And I was fine with that, I really was, but then I thought of you and I didn’t tell you about it and I dropped my research because I knew you'd get cross, and I knew you'd get sad, but then you said you'd do everything in your power for me, that one night we fought the gnolls together, don't you remember, and I started to look into it more actively, and I thought--” A sigh. “I don't know what I thought.”

She rolls over from where she's curled at the bottom of the bed like a cat, and even through the dark Caleb can feel her eyes, two golden pinpricks almost like lanterns trained on him.

“Please, Caleb,” she whispers. “I need this. I've always needed this.”

“But I need you,” he says. It’s such a selfish thing to say, such a selfish reason,

(but he’s always been a pretty selfish man, hasn’t he?)

“I’ll still be here,” she says. “You’d bring me back as me. It’d still be me.”

“My hands were built for destroying,” he says. The words burn as he speaks them but he knows they need to be said. “Not for creating. And any creation built from destruction is a creation I want no part in.”

His breath rattles in his chest as he says his next sentence, all in one go, not letting it burn anymore than it has to: “I can't do this for you, Nott. I'm sorry.”

Silence. It stretches on for so long that Caleb half thinks Nott's fallen asleep, and a part of him hopes she has, hopes so desperately that she'll let this conversation be nothing but a bad dream in the morning.

But hope's done nothing but fail him so far, and tonight does not intend to prove an exception.

“Well,” Nott says, and it's the emptiest Caleb's ever heard her, “Then I guess I’ll have to find someone that can.”

They don’t speak again.

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