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imagining-pokemon · 5 years

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Piers’, Leon’s and Raihan’s Reaction to You Basically Being a Human Shiny Charm

@mechatricky requested: It's always exciting to see another Pokémon imagine blog! Could you do a request of what piers, Leon, and Raihan think about when they notice their s/o is basically a human shiny charm and attracts shiny Pokémon even tho their s/o can’t tell do to them being colorblind.

I actually really liked this reaction because I imagine each of their jaws on the floor.

Piers

*lifts an eyebrow*

Now Piers knew you had a shiny pokemon on your team, and just considered that some luck the universe threw your way

But he never thought he would see the number of shinies you were able to lure out

So you and Piers decided a nice picnic in the Wild Area would be a good break for you two. You both wanted some quiet from the rambunctious Team Yell

You were both talking about Marnie as she would soon take the mantle currently owned by your lover

As you talked about the talented girl, you were able to see just how much Piers cared about her

The soft smile he sported on his face was truly beautiful

But as you both came upon your destination, you stopped and stared

No matter how many times you both came here, the magnificence of the pokemon’s natural habitat always took the breath out of you. You were easily able to hear Piers’ intake of breath to your side

You turn to him and intertwine your fingers with his and you pulled him towards the water’s edge which would be your rest spot today

He softly smiles at you and kisses your intertwined fingers together

But when he looks back up, he suddenly stares at something right behind you

You look behind you only to see a cute Vulpix

Now the pokemon looked a little different than what you usually saw, with a lighter coat than you usually saw in pictures and….was it sparkling?

It playfully yipped at you and whined, and you pushed it strange shade of color out of your mind

All you thought was that this pokemon wanted food, so you were going to give it food

You pulled out a berry and it started to run in circles yipping at you, causing a giggle to break from your mouth

Piers’ eyebrow rose a bit because all he was wondering was why were you not freaking out over this extremely rare type of pokemon

Suddenly the bushes to your left started to rustle causing Piers to grab his pokeball from his belt, just in case anything went wrong

But out of the bushes came a Ralts and a Pancham

But again they looked different from the usual pictures

You froze with your hand outstretched towards Vulpix, who was now happily munching on its new berry

You did not want to accidentally make them launch an attack

But your worry began to go away the moment, they started going towards the berry, nipping at the Vulpix

You cooed at the pokemon, taking more berries from your pouch

“Piers! They are all so cute! Can we keep them? Please?”

You did not hear anything so you looked back at him, only to burst out laughing at your silly man

His eyebrows disappeared and his jaw was on the ground

“You do know those are shiny pokemon right?”

You looked at him then at the pokemon and snickered to yourself

“Oh of course. I thought some of their coats were darker. But can we keep them? Please? I will take good care of them.”

He suddenly blushed as he looked at your pout and the whines of the pokemon

“.... Only someone with your shining personality could attract all these pokemon.”

He then proceeds to pull out three pokeballs

He can’t wait to see everyone’s faces when they see his beautiful lover and their pokemon

Leon

This boy would get so excited

You and Leon were both looking at the Wooloo’s grazing in the fields, enjoying the peaceful setting

You both had just finished a good meal made by your mother and decided a walk would help you both digest your food

So hand in hand, you and lover set out to look at the Galarian scenery

But your eyes took you to Leon’s laughing face

He was telling you a hilarious story about Raihan (apparently you can not mention the curry accident in Raihan’s presence or else he would hunt you down)

(But that does not mean Leon can’t tell it)

Your eyes looked over Leon’s beautiful physique and suddenly a thought went through you

Everyone always talks about Leon’s tan skin, amber eyes, and luscious violet hair

And his terrible fashion sense

They call him bright and vibrant, like a painting made with the right shades

But you can not say that

Because you do not see that

You see bright eyes, dark hair

You see all these shades coming together to let you see this amazing human being that stands before you

Even without color

Because even if you do not see his color, you will always be able to see his brightness

“Darling?”

Leon’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts and smirked at you

“I know I am handsome, but you have me all to yourself to stare at later.”

You snorted and pecked his cheek

Leon took your chin and was about to place his lips on yours

Then a bleat was sounded underneath you

You looked down and ignored Leon’s grumbling to look at a cute little Wooloo at both of your feet

You gasped and the Wooloo bleated at you again nudging your calf

It looked at bit different, almost the complete opposite shades you have seen on the field before

You kneeled down and suddenly heard Leon screaming

“It’s a shiny! It’s a shiny!”

You looked at him in confusion, but more bleats drew you away

You saw more little dark Wooloo’s running your way

As you were covered with the soft fur, you kept hearing Leon scream

How was he able to breathe if he kept screaming?

Soon you were out of the cluster of wool, and just laughing

Leon was just staring at you in amazement as you petted all the Wooloo around

He guessed even the rarest pokemon could see how much a wonder you were

Raihan

Now Raihan had a Flygon and a Goodra and Duraludon and many other pokemon, but he has been wanting a Dreepy for awhile

Well a Dragapult, but you found a Dreepy

You can see that the tips of their horns were lighter than the ones he has shown you, but you think that maybe that was normal

You were near the Lake of Outrage and saw this Dreepy running up to you

Obviously, you gave it some treats and it stole a pokeball from your bag

You were shocked as it held it out to you and gave a little roar

You held it out for it and it bumped its head on the pokeball, letting itself get sucked in

It gave for clicks then you let it out once more

As soon as it was out, it cuddled itself against you and little out its little roars, warming your insides

You held it up and proclaimed to the world, “You shall be called Hannie, after the best dragon boy out there.”

Hannie let out a roar and licked you

Now finding Raihan proved to be a bit of a little of a difficulty

That boy did not like to stay at one place for long

You finally were able to find him with his tapestries, thinking over something important it would seem

“Don’t think too hard, you might lose your last brain cell.”

Raihan threw his head back to a laugh and looked at you with a smirk

“Now love, you know just how intelligent I am. Have you seen me on the battlefield?”

Everyone has

“Anyway, I have a new companion for you,” You say as you wave around your new pokemon

He raised an eyebrow and looked curiously at the pokeball you brought out

You quickly threw it up in the air and out came Hannie

It fell into your arms and licked you as you giggled.

“Raihan, meet Hannie. I caught him for you.”

Now that gave Raihan a warm feeling throughout his body as he thought of all the effort you went through to give him this pokemon, but the shock he felt from seeing the coloring of the pokemon sent him into a state of frozen

He was so shocked but started laughing uncontrollably

“Somehow it does not surprise me that you were able to find a shiny and befriend it.”

You looked down at you Dreepy and it looked at you with a smile

Then you held out Hannie for Raihan to take

Raihan took Hannie and quickly petted its head

Hannie started panting and then bit down on Raihan’s hair

Raihan let out a scream, as you started to cackle

You called out for Hannie and it came back to you holding Raihan’s hat in his mouth

He gave you a chirp and dropped it in your hands

Raihan just looked at you in horror as he took Hannie back into his arms

“I now hate it.”

JK he took ten million selfies with it later

#pokemon #pokemon swsh #pokemon sword #pokemon imagines #pokemon shield #pokemon swsh imagines #pokemon piers #piers #piers imagine #piers x reader #pokemon leon #leon #leon x reader #leon imagine #pokemon raihan #raihan #raihan imagine #raihan x reader #imagine

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just-a-poor-boy-queen · 3 years

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Part 16 of Jimercury Kid series

Baba had always told Khaleel that listening in on other people’s conversations was “very rude,” and he should never do it. But this time, as far as the five-year-old was concerned, it really wasn’t his fault.

It all started when one of his toy trains broke while he was playing with it, so he wandered off to find his daddy to see if he could fix it. He heard Daddy’s voice coming from the kitchen, accompanied by Uncle Phoebe’s, but before he could reach over and turn the door handle, he heard Daddy say, ‘I’m telling you Phoebe, he can be such a little brat sometimes.’

Khaleel froze, his big blue-green eyes going wide as he heard the anger in his Daddy’s voice, and he immediately dropped his hand back to his side. He wasn’t entirely sure what a “brat” was, but from the way his daddy spoke, it wasn’t something good. And his daddy used the word “little” so he must have been talking about Khaleel. No one else in the house was little. Except maybe the cats.

‘I know, I know.’ Replied Uncle Phoebe. ‘Trust me, I’m aware of what a little shit he can be.’

Khaleel felt his cheeks burn. Again, he wasn’t exactly sure what a “shit” was, but he knew it was a naughty word that he was never allowed to say. And Uncle Phoebe had used the word “little” as well, so they were definitely talking about him.

‘He was pestering me all morning and now he’s in a mood.’ Daddy went on. ‘Honestly, I don’t know why I put up with it.’

The hands holding the toy train began to shake. Khaleel hadn’t meant to annoy his daddy that morning. He just wanted him to stop gardening so he would play with him. He was upset when Daddy said no and told him to go and play inside, but he hadn’t thought he was that cross with him.

‘I swear,’ Daddy went on, ‘the next time he acts up like that, I’m going to put him across my knee and give him a good spanking.’

Khaleel shook so hard, he almost dropped the train altogether. He knew exactly what a spanking was. He still remembered a few years back, when he had scared Daddy by grabbing his shears and Daddy had smacked him on his bottom as punishment. It hadn’t really hurt, but it was still scary, and Daddy had promised never to do it again.

But Daddy had lied.

Uncle Phoebe laughed loudly in response, ‘I’d pay to see that!’

Khaleel’s heart sank. He thought Uncle Phoebe loved him, that he might stick up for him. But even he wanted him to get a spanking. Tears welled up in the little boy’s eyes and he ran away from the kitchen door as fast as he could, upstairs to his bedroom where he hid under his duvet, trying to muffle his sobs.

He didn’t want a spanking. He had to be on his best behaviour from now on.

Freddie hadn’t heard a peep out of Khaleel all evening.

He arrived home from the studio just before dinnertime but wasn’t greeted by the excited five-year-old jumping into his arms like he usually was. He found Khaleel in his bedroom, playing quietly with his trains and when he asked the little boy if he was okay, the child simply nodded and continued playing without saying another word.

Freddie was worried but tried not to let it eat away at him. He had always been the more overprotective parent and Jim often had to reassure him that sometimes kids just did weird things, it wasn’t always something to be alarmed about. So, he allowed Khaleel to remain in his room until Phoebe called them all to dinner.

When Khaleel arrived at the table, he was as white as a ghost. He pulled out his chair carefully, as if terrified he’d knock it over and used his cutlery in slow motion, bringing it up to his mouth with great care that it didn’t fall off his fork.

‘Darling, are you alright?’ Freddie asked, finally cracking as he leaned across to feel his son’s forehead, ‘you don’t look well.’

Khaleel just nodded and went back to eating, glancing at Jim nervously every now and then.

Eventually, his parents fell into conversation, and he breathed a small sigh of relief as he finished his meal without making any mess. He had even eaten all his vegetables, even his carrots, which he hated. Daddy would definitely be happy about that. (1/2)

He reached over to pick up the glass of milk beside his plate, when Freddie suddenly said, ‘Khaleel?’ making him jump out of his skin. The glass slipped from his hands and toppled over onto the table, milk spilling everywhere.

‘Whoops!’ Jim cried, jumping up to grab the paper towels from the kitchen nearby.

Khaleel immediately burst into tears and jumped out of his chair, running to Jim, and wrapping his little arms around his father’s leg before he could leave the room. ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry Daddy! I didn’t mean to!’

Jim blinked in surprise at the child’s hysteria and, forgetting the paper towels, kneeled down to gently pull his son close. ‘Hey, hey, don’t worry. It was an accident, sweetheart. No point crying over spilt milk.’

He was trying to make him laugh but Khaleel just cried harder, throwing his arms around Jim’s neck. ‘Please don’t smack me, Daddy! I’m sorry I was naughty, I’m sorry!’

‘Kenny, what on earth are you talking about?’ Freddie got up from his chair, looking from his son to his husband, ‘what’s going on?’

‘I-I heard Daddy talking to Uncle Phoebe.’ Khaleel stammered between sobs, still clinging to Jim. ‘He s-said I was a little brat a-and he was g-going to spank me next time I’m naughty.’

Freddie looked aghast. He glared at Jim with fire in his eyes. ‘You said what?’

The colour drained from Jim’s face. He managed to prise the little boy from his bear hug and softly told him to go and wait in the lounge while he and Baba had a little chat. Khaleel continued to sob and beg, but once he was reassured that he wasn’t going to be punished he calmed down and allowed Phoebe to take him into the lounge to play with his toys. No sooner had the dining room door closed, Freddie erupted.

‘I can’t believe you, Jim Hutton!’ He thundered, not caring if the whole neighbourhood heard him. ‘How dare you – how dare you say such things about our son!’

‘Freddie.’ Jim said, unusually calm considering the situation. ‘It’s not what you think.’

‘Not what I think?! Our child overheard you talking about smacking him! Something you promised never to do again! How could you?!’

‘Freddie-’

‘No wonder he’s been so quiet today, he was terrified of being punished! I can’t believe you’ve been having such vile conversations behind my back, and to Phoebe of all people-!’

‘Freddie, I was talking about you!’

Freddie’s voice immediately cut off and he allowed his mouth to hang open a second, his hand still raised in a jabbing motion. The pair of them stared at each other, the only sound to be heard being that of Romeo and Lily faintly squabbling in the background.

Then Freddie started to laugh. Uncontrollable giggles that made him clutch his stomach and almost keel over, cackling until the tears pricked at his eyes. He could hear Jim laughing too and soon the pair of them were near hysterics, clutching each other as their bodies shook along with each chuckle, until Freddie took a deep breath and managed to pull himself together long enough to speak.

‘You were talking about me?’ He panted, wiping at his eyes.

Jim nodded, looking a little embarrassed. ‘I was still annoyed about that argument we had this morning – you know, when you were nagging me about forgetting to rake the leaves yesterday.’

Freddie pouted. ‘I was not nagging.’

‘I told Phoebe that I thought you were acting like a brat and if you behaved that way again, I’d put you over my knee.’ Jim’s face was flushed red, though he couldn’t help chuckling again. ‘Poor Kenny must have overheard us and thought I was talking about him.’

‘Oh dear.’ Freddie sighed, rubbing his tired eyes, exhausted from the sudden influx of emotions he had just experienced. ‘I’m sorry, darling. I shouldn’t have exploded at you like that before I got my facts straight.’

‘You were just being your usual, protective self.’ Jim replied, understanding as always. ‘Now the question is, how are we going to explain this to Khaleel?’

‘We’ll think of something.’ Freddie turned to start walking towards the dining room door. Before he left, he glanced back at Jim over his shoulder, sticking his backside out rather suggestively. ‘So, you plan to spank me, do you? Is that a threat, Mr Hutton?’

‘No, Mr Mercury.’ Jim replied, smirking. ‘That’s a promise.’ (2/2)

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Ahhhhh another (sort of) spanking fic! I loved the banter at the end ahaha—I can imagine what they did after putting Kenny to sleep lmao.

Speaking of Kenny, oof, bless his little heart. You've displayed the simple reasoning of a child so well—his daddy used the word little, thus he must be the topic of conversation. Poor baby, being so afraid to break any rule.

Also lmao, Jim and Phoebe gossiping about Freddie is my new favourite thing.

I absolutely adored this part, anon! This was so sweet, and sensitive and funny and flirty—an entire package💙

(More drabbles by writer anon)

#ask response #jim hutton #freddie mercury #freddie and jim and their baby #anon writing

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magalidragon · 4 years

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all that glitters | Jonerys drabble

a/n: Thank you Emilia for the glitter spray inspiration! Here’s a drabble set in the frosting and icing universe with baker!Dany and singledad!Jon...well he’s not so single anymore...

The squeals greeting Jon when he opened the door forced him to stay in place, an array of options available to him. He glanced at the door handle, his hand still resting on it. He could back out the way he came, get into his car, and go the pub. Or he could go back to work—unlikely. He could pretend he didn’t hear a thing and go into the garage and do some of the carpentry on the new bookcase he promised about six months ago he’d finish. Or he could go in and pretend he heard nothing, go straight to his room or something.

Or he could investigate.

Squealing grew louder, followed by cackling uncontrollable laughter. He smiled, licking his lips and wondered what prompted whatever was so funny in the kitchen. It grew louder, a variety of laughs. A high, long one. A series of snorts and giggles and shrieks. A long bubble laugh, deep from the belly.

He stepped into the house, saying nothing, and closed the door. A few steps in and a white blur ran at him. He leaned down, ruffling Ghost’s ears and neck. “What’re you doing, huh? What’s all the racket?” He looked at his hand and his wolf’s nose, red eyes blinking, and tail wagging so hard the wolf’s entire backside shook. He frowned. “Is that…glitter?”

Ghost squeaked in response, turning and running back to the kitchen. He tried to wipe the glitter off, but all it did was smear on his black pants. He was no stranger to the substance; he had two daughters after all. He went down the corridor and turned, breaking into his massive kitchen, which had undergone a variety of refurbishments over the past few years, since an award-winning pastry chef decided to marry him and make him hers. He dropped his messenger bag on a chair near the small table near the side door he’d come in, and took in the sight before him.

The formerly block square kitchen island had been extended into a U-shaped, with a sink, multiple prep areas, and a massive iron rack with various pots, pants, utensils, and occasional strings of garlic, tomatoes, dried herbs, and flowers. The walls of the formerly bare kitchen now were filled with cheerily painted cabinets, a double hung oven, a stove with about twelve different burners and two other ovens, and open shelves stacked with more utensils, cooking and baking equipment, ingredients, recipe books, and photos.

It was a mess; he never had a clue what he’d come home to discover, a five-course meal or takeout or a three-tier wedding cake with electricity running through it. He stared at the chaos unleashed right now in what used to be a very chrome and boring kitchen, now painted teal and yellow and happy greens, pinks, and oranges. His entire house was like a giant smile, when it used to be a frown.

He beamed at the reason for that, standing beside his daughter, who was sitting on the edge of the counter, leaning over a wire rack brimming with cupcakes. At the plastic play table beside the island, his other daughter banged her wooden spoon on a stretch of cookie dough, and she was…sparkling.

It was glitter.

And it was on everything.

“Daddy!”

Aly jumped off the counter, running over and flinging her arms around him. “Da!” the baby shouted, struggling to get off the attached bench to her table.

“Whoa, what’re you guys doing?” He swung Lyanna up into his arms, patting her chunky little thigh and kissing her rosy cheek. He tasted chocolate, icing, and smacked his lips, reaching to touch at her nose. “Is that glitter?”

“We’re making cupcakes!”

“I see.” He grinned at his wife, who had come over, an oversized apron wrapped around her swollen belly and her pink sweater rolled to her elbows. “Good evening to you, seems like you had a fun afternoon with them.”

Dany grinned, kissing him lightly, and leaned back, hands on her small belly, which he leaned to kiss. “We are having a blast. I got a batch of this edible glitter in at the bakery and thought it would be really fun. We’re making cupcakes. Chocolate with pink frosting and…”

“Glitter!” Aly shouted, flinging her hands into the air again. She grabbed hold of a bottle that looked like hair spray, holding it out to him and grinning. “It sprays!” She picked up a cookie, spraying it and then showed him, before biting into it.

He laughed. “I see. Lots of glitter.” He glanced at Ghost, who was licking his nose, glitter coming off to his tongue. He leaned in to whisper. “Why is it on everything?”

Dany giggled, taking a bottle and spraying it on her fingertip, tapping it to his nose. He wrinkled it, trying to see the sparkle. “Because it’s glitter Jon, duh. We’re making everything glitter. Even Ghost’s food. The cupcakes, cookies, everything.”

“And mac and cheese too!”

“Yeah!” Lyanna shouted, trying to kiss him again. It was all over the toddler’s face. She wiped the glitter off his nose and licked her fingers, giggling. “Potty.”

He dropped Lyanna almost immediately, holding her hand as she rushed him to the bathroom. He turned to look at Dany, eyes wide. “How?” They had been trying to potty-train her for weeks.

Dany wiggled the glitter spray. “Glitter, of course.”

“I don’t want to know.”

“You really don’t.” She went back into the kitchen, calling for Aly to go wash her hands and at least try to get some of the glitter off her while she cleaned up. He finished with Lyanna, who rushed back to her table, to continue playing with her cookie dough. He glanced down at her, smiling wide. He loved them so much. Dany picked up one of the cupcakes, all of them in pink glittery paper cups, topped with marshmallows. She dropped her arm over his shoulder, leaning against him, her belly trapped between them. “For you.”

“Maybe later. After dinner.”

She shook her head, grinning. Her voice dropped, quiet. “This is a special cupcake.”

He frowned, unsure what that meant. They all looked the same to him. “Alright,” he said, knowing not to argue with his wife. He pulled at the paper and frowned, wondering why she was staring at him so intently. He bit into it, realizing that there was some sort of filling. Normally he didn’t like fillings in his cupcakes or cakes, which she knew. He frowned, pulling back, lifting his fingers to wipe at some that got on his nose and upper lip, when he realized that the frosting inside of it was…blue.

He swallowed hard. “Blue?” he whispered, turning immediately to Dany. His eyes widened, realizing what it meant. She was grinning, her cheeks sparkling not just from the glitter that coated everything but also tears. She nodded hard, laughing when he dropped the cupcake onto the counter and flung his arms around her, lifting her clear into the air, spinning her. “Oh my gods, a boy!”

“I found out this morning, I thought this would be fun,” she laughed, raining kisses over him.

They embraced again, Lyanna finally bored of her cookie dough, and shoving herself in between their legs, babbling nonstop. He wiped at his face, smearing glitter, and looked over at Aly who had come back in, skipping happily, red braids bouncing on her shoulders. “Hey Aly, want a cupcake?” he asked, picking up another that Dany had nodded to, still grinning. “It’s special.”

“They’re all special, because they have glitter and they’re pink.” Aly grabbed the cupcake from him, licking her lips, grinning. “Dany said that you’re gonna’ find out if I get a brother or another sister. I want a sister. So everything can be pink.”

They both shot a look at each other and then to the still half-eaten cupcake with blue frosting that Aly hadn’t noticed. Yet. “Um, well…” he began.

Dany grinned, reaching for the glitter spray. “Here, let’s put some more on, glitter makes everything better.”

Jon took a deep breath, wondering if that went as well with an Aly who wasn’t happy about getting a brother. They’d soon find out, he supposed, holding his breath as she bit into the cupcake.

#jonerys #jonerys drabble #jonerys fluff

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heyyyharry · 5 years

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Chapter 2: Castles In The Air

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Be My Only)

…in which Y/N can’t stop worrying about Harry, but she isn’t the only one.

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Word count: 5k

Wattpad link

Chapter 1: Fire And Rain - Harry and Y/N go back to where it ended.

A/N: Welcome back to emotional hell. Listen to What If I Never Get Over Your? by Lady Antebellum for full experience. - Allie.

Isaac thought he had done a great job. Y/N had trusted him enough to reveal why she'd gone back to Holmes Chapel last year, not because of her father's wedding, but because of Harry. He knew everything, from how they'd got together to how they'd ended. Though the truth was evidently unpleasant, it also made him sigh in relief, for he was sure she had officially moved on.

But last night he'd seen for himself, how she had freaked out at the party and later broken down in the hospital. He'd seen the way she'd held Harry, how she'd cried, thinking something bad had happened to him. She was usually talkative when they were alone, but had been awfully quiet on the drive back to her place. It didn't take a mind-reader to figure out what was bothering her. It was that hug they had shared, what he had whispered into her ear that nobody else would ever know. And in that moment Isaac realized, there was a place in her heart that he could never reach.

It'd been a rough night, and his loud thoughts had kept him awake until 3AM, with fear that the girl in his arms could leave him any minute. But when the morning came, everything seemed to have fallen back into place. Stepping into the kitchen with sleep in his eyes, he was greeted by his girlfriend's gleeful "good morning!" and the delicious smell of sizzling bacon and eggs. Maybe he had over-exaggerated the situation yesterday, because Y/N was still here, and she was...making breakfast?

"Y/N! The eggs!"

"Shit!" The girl nearly knocked everything off the table as she fled across the room to turn off the stove. Clouds of dark smoke erupted from the frying pan, causing the couple to start coughing uncontrollably.

"My eggs..." She mumbled with a frown when he stroked her head and burst out laughing.

"I thought my girl was possessed, but I'm glad she's still herself." His joke made her snort as she tossed the burnt egg into the bin and told him she would try again. But after what he had just witnessed, he thought he should do all the cooking from now on, for their own safety.

"Step aside. I'll manage," he said with a smirk, nudging her with his hip to steal her spot as they both giggled together.

"Okay, so you take care of our breakfast. I'm gonna finish this."

Curious, Isaac stole a glance at his girlfriend, and saw her put the tuna salad she'd made into a lunch box. It wasn't like her to wake up early, make breakfast and lunch for herself. She hated cooking more than she hated children crying on the bus, and she'd rather starve than turn on her stove.

"Hey," she spoke before he could ask. "Can you bring this to Harry later?"

"Did he ask you to cook for him?"

"No." Y/N shook her head. "Niall said he wasn't allowed to go anywhere, so I decided to make him food."

Her naive response made Isaac cackle. He told her not to worry, that Harry's team would make sure he had the healthiest, and most expensive meals, while laying in bed. But that didn't ease the wrinkles between her brows.

"These foods will help his wounds heal faster." She met his thoughtful stare. "Besides, you two have to talk to each other at one point. This is your chance to make up."

"We're fine."

"How 'fine' exactly?" She arched an eyebrow at him. "I know everything is my fault, and I'm trying to—"

Isaac didn't let her finish. He grabbed her chin, kissing her full on the mouth, and slightly pushing her backward until her back bumped into the desk. His kiss became more urgent as his hands moved to hold her cheeks. She kissed him back, fingertips resting on his face. Neither of them knew what had gotten into him, yet both went with it because, what else would they do?

Reassurance. He needed reassurance.

But this kiss wasn't it.

Slowly, he pulled away, tucking a loose strand behind her ear as his heart started racing faster. With a smile to cover up the fact that he was on tenterhooks, he said in hushed tones, "why don't you ask Niall to bring him the food? They live very near each other."

The truth dawned on Y/N as her eyes shifted away from his. She thought for a couple seconds before nodding her head, and Isaac hoped she didn't think he hated Harry. How could he? He loved Harry like his own brother, and had sacrificed a lot for him since they became friends; like his top bunk in the dorm because Harry wanted it, his 20th birthday party because Harry had failed a movie audition that same day, his first magazine cover deal because Harry's hateful ex was the model, and many other times he couldn't recall. He'd done everything, no questions asked, because he believed Harry would do the same for him.

But Y/N wasn't something they could take and give whenever they wanted. She was a person, someone Isaac truly cared about. And he'd known from the start once he'd fallen for her he could never step back, which was why he'd asked Harry if he'd had feelings for her too. If only the answer had been 'yes' since the beginning, he would've walked away for them to be together. Would Harry have done the same? Would Harry have respected Isaac's feelings for Y/N and stepped aside, instead of going after her while Isaac was in Rome? No. Harry had done the opposite. And even so, even now, Isaac would still walk away. But things weren't as simple as it used to be. He was in too deep to undo how he felt about her for someone who'd broken her heart again and again.

There were certain things in his life that he was always in control of. Feelings, just weren't one of them.

"What do you mean you're in LA?!"

"I got on the plane as soon as I dropped Harry off last night." Niall sounded so casual, as if it wasn't a big deal to fly to a different country every time he was bored. A normal person like Y/N could never relate to it, though she guessed nothing could be too much for someone with excessive fame and fortune like Niall Horan.

As Niall rambled on about his second birthday party in LA, Y/N had missed most of it while busy sorting the books on the shelves. She would get in so much trouble if her manager caught her on the phone while at work again.

"That sounds super cool, Niall. But I really gotta go," she told him, holding the phone between her ear and shoulder. "Have fun at your party."

"Thanks! Have a nice day, Y/N!"

I wish, Y/N thought, as she hung up and headed back to the reception counter. There hadn't been a single customer that morning, so her friend and co-worker Alice was sitting behind the counter, filing her nails instead of doing whatever she was supposed to do. Sometimes Y/N truly felt bad for their boss. He had only two employees, but neither one was hardworking or at least responsible.

Alice actually got fired from her job in their university library for never showing up on time, and Y/N couldn't stay there either. Without Alice, no one would make sure she got to read as much as she wanted without getting caught. So the girls ended up finding this new job, and apparently hadn't learnt any lesson from their previous one.

"Al, I need back up," said Y/N as she threw on her jacket and grabbed her bag and lunchbox. "If Eddie comes back before me, tell him I've got some 'lady issues' and had to leave, yeah?"

"Lady issues? Wow, we've really run out of excuses, haven't we?" Alice seemed quite amused.

"He'll believe anything." Y/N rolled her eyes as she scoffed. "Once I told him my cat was sick, and he gave me a weekend off."

"You have a cat?"

"No, but he has three."

Alice giggled as she gave the older girl a high-five. They could only be mean to Eddie when he wasn't around. After all, he was the one who paid them, so the least they could do was treat him with respect...when he was around.

"You're meeting up with Isaac?" Alice asked with a massive grin, but Y/N only shook her head and said, "a friend."

Waving Alice goodbye, she left the store and walked to her car which she'd recently bought from a man living in the same building. Though it ran out of fuel pretty fast, and once left her stuck on an empty highway in the middle of the night, it was still good for a used Vauxhall. To be honest, she'd made a lot of questionable buying decisions ever since she moved to London, but that car wasn't one of them.

As Y/N buckled up her seat belt and started the engine, she only had one thing on her mind. Maybe she should leave the lunchbox at his door, ring the bells, and run away before he saw her. That way she wouldn't have to talk to him and still make sure he got her food. But on second thought, wouldn't it make her a coward? If she was so sure that she was completely over him, she should act like an adult and face him at some point. Besides, she'd said it herself, Harry was mentally and physically unwell. What he needed most at this point was someone to look after him. If not Niall or Isaac, that someone had to be her.

When the doorbell rang, Harry didn't expect it to be Y/N.

He had too many 'friends' here in London. But ever since his accident made the news, the only person who'd come to visit him was his manager Jeff, which said a lot about working in this industry. The cameras might stop rolling but the people never stopped acting. His Bambi, however, was different from all the others. She showed up here because she genuinely cared about him, and even though he didn't deserve that kindness, he was very thankful she'd decided to come.

"I brought you lunch." Y/N showed Harry the pink lunchbox and a wide grin that made his heart leap in content.

As she walked in and politely asked to use the bathroom, he played along, saying "you're welcome" in response to her humble "thank you". They thought it would be less awkward if they pretended that she was a stranger to this place. Pretending was easy, forgetting was hard. The memories of their last night together were still vivid as if it was yesterday. She had stood right there in the middle of his living room, in his shirt, with tears running down her red cheeks. The look she'd given him was utterly heartbreaking. And if he could go back in time, he would tell her those three words again and again until she agreed to stay.

"I guess I'm leaving now."

But he couldn't go back in time. And this was reality. He watched the smile fade from her lips as she walked right past him, straight towards the door. On spur of the moment, he said aloud what he should've said a year ago.

"Stay."

She stopped dead in her track, turning to look at him like he'd committed a crime. The last thing he wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable, so he plastered a smile on his face. "Stay for a cup of tea?"

"I have to get back to work," she replied with a sense of reluctance.

"Since when do you care about work?"

"Excuse me! I'm very responsible, alright?" She pointed to herself as they both cracked up in unison.

Harry guessed he must've looked like a fool for smiling this much, still he couldn't help it. Her presence made him feel alive. He shouldn't have spent a fortune on a therapist while he could've just gone to her instead.

"It won't take long," he insisted, this time giving her a pout. Y/N tossed her head back as she rolled her eyes, knowing for sure there was no way to deny him when he looked at her like that. So she shrugged off her jacket and hung it up by the door, making him sigh in relief.

"Only for a cup of tea," she emphasized the word, more like a reminder for herself than for him. But even so, once they had finished their tea and the discussion about how those doctors had stitched up Harry's wounds, they switched on Netflix. And that was how hours had gone to waste, only for a cup of tea. Well, it wasn't actually a waste, at least for Harry, who needed an excuse to spend as much time with his Bambi as possible. He was like a teenager on his first date, stealing glances at the girl he fancied, hoping she wouldn't notice, though he wouldn't mind if she did.

Judging by her many different facial expressions, Harry believed he might've missed a whole lot of what was happening on the screen. But he was too far gone to keep on watching while she was right here. When the last episode ended, they sat in silence, staring at the rolling credits. He was waiting for her to suggest watching something else so they didn't have to talk. But apparently, she also felt like a conversation was necessary. She turned to him, both of them parted their lips and quickly looked away at the same time. He caught a glimpse of her hands rubbing onto her thighs. She was nervous. And he was too.

"You've...changed your wallpapers." Her little discovery made him laugh a little bit. As it turned out, he wasn't the only who sucked at starting a conversation.

"I did. Thank you for noticing."

She met his eyes and they were beaming at one another. Now that the unwelcoming awkwardness had passed, Harry thought he should say something. Tell a joke, maybe. No, that poor attempt would be suicide. But what should he say? Everything that he wanted to say was all wrong. He couldn't tell her that he'd been thinking about kissing her since she walked in. That he missed her so much his body ached. That he could still feel her in his arms after last night, and now he began to wonder if she could feel it as well. Most of all, he couldn't tell her he loved her. He thought he might've missed the only chance to say it, and now his life sentence was to live with it as a secret until the day he died.

As he kept on fidgeting, Y/N's eyes wandered around the room, and spotted his new movie script lying on the desk opposite from them. "Castles In The Air," she read the title aloud, catching his full attention.

"That's not for you! It's confidential," he said quickly as she attempted to go get it.

Y/N breathed out a laugh, rolling her eyes. "What's the point of having an actor as a friend, if you still have to wait for the movie to come out like everyone else?"

Harry didn't know why he started beaming at the word 'friend'. Just yesterday they were nothing, and now she called him a friend, which meant he was gradually gaining back her trust. And that was enough to keep him happy for the rest of the day.

"You know," she began, resting her chin on her palm. "When I was little I used to think that 'castles in the air' were actual castles floating in the air. I got so fed up when I learnt the real meaning of it. Desires, ideas, or plans that are unlikely to be realized. How disappointing is that?"

He nodded to agree. "It sucks to grow up and find out not everything is possible."

His remark made her chuckle. Her eyebrows knitted together as she told him, "our 'castles in the air' are all built out of fear. They're like...our coping mechanism."

"How so?" He asked, smiling while studying her expression. He loved the way her eyes twinkled when she came up with something smart, which was almost everything that she said. The way she observed the world was different from everyone else, and he adored her for that, he could listen to her talk forever.

She began with a little smile. "We create these unrealistic ideas and believe in them to distract ourselves from our disappointing reality. For example, we talk about inhabiting on Mars, so we don't have to worry about our planet dying. We tell ourselves that something big is gonna happen to us tomorrow, because we don't wanna roll out of bed and repeat the same boring day. We believe the person we love will also love us back, because we can't stand the fear of rejection."

Harry knew she didn't include the last example on purpose, and only realized how ironic it sounded until after. As she paused to make sure he wasn't upset, he gave her a reassuring smile. "So...tell me yours?"

Y/N held his eye contact as she spent some time thinking before answering his question. "Don't have one. I already have everything I need."

Even herself didn't fully believe in those words. How could he? But he wasn't going to force her to give him the truth. He accepted that answer, and let it go, allowing the silence to sink back in. This time it only lasted for about five seconds.

"Give me your motorcycle key," Y/N said as she opened her right hand, looking dead serious at him.

"Why?" He lifted one eyebrow in confusion, at the same time, slightly amused.

"Because I don't trust you with it after last night. Come on, hand it over."

Sighing, Harry grabbed his coat on the backrest of the couch. He pulled out the key from the pocket then put it in her hand. She gave him a questioning look, chuckling nervously.

"I was only kidding."

"I wasn't," he answered to her surprise. "I already told you, I don't want you to worry again. So you can have the key."

She stared at him as if he'd said something wrong. He watched her lips tremble, not knowing what to expect while the look in her eyes was eating away at him.

"At the hospital..." His entire body stiffened once he heard those words. "You said something about...the fireplace. What did you mean by that?"

"You know what I meant..." Harry said under his breath.

"I don't. That's why I'm asking." Her voice was soft, yet stern and direct, letting him know she wasn't going to let him off that easily.

But he didn't believe her. Y/N would never forget her mother's words. She must've had figured out what he meant right when he said it. Thus there was only one good explanation.

Fear.

She was fearful of hearing those three words now that she'd moved on. So she hoped he had misunderstood the metaphor, or at least remembered it differently. It'd be easier for her if he didn't love her. Then they could pretend like nothing had ever happened. And she wouldn't have to feel guilty for being with Isaac. Harry wouldn't know for sure, but it didn't matter. Right now, he must make up his mind. He could either tell her what she wanted to hear, which would make him a liar; or tell her what he wanted her to hear, and never spoke to her again. Either way he would lose.

The sound of doorbell shot Harry right out of his seat as he took it as the universe throwing him a lifeline. Despite his injured knee, he dashed towards the front door, praying it was Niall, or Jeff, Gemma or even Isaac. Nevertheless, he was out of luck.

"Rubes..."

His gruff voice immediately washed off the beam on the woman's face. She released a faint gasp, cupping his cheeks and observing the scratches from the accident.

"I wish you'd called me," she uttered before pulling him in.

Harry didn't expect that hug. His first instinct was to push her away and turn to his Bambi, whose eyes widened in shock as she rose up from the couch. The way Ruby looked at her was far from courteous, so Harry guessed she had assumed only the worst about them. There was no possible way this encounter could end with smiles and handshakes.

"This is Ruby," he spoke, unable to look into those eyes when he was introducing her to the cause of their last goodbye. "Ruby, this is—"

"Y/N, Harry and I were neighbors in Holmes Chapel," she said, stepping forward to shake the woman's hand.

"How long are you gonna be in London?" Ruby asked, throwing on a grin. It was scary for most people how fast she could switch from one emotion to another, but Harry had grown used to it. It was only with him that she showed how she really felt.

"Actually...I live here in London. Harry and I knew each other when we were kids, then we separated for a long time," Y/N said, still Ruby wouldn't leave her alone.

"And how did you meet again? He's never mentioned you, not even once."

"Rubes," Harry cautiously lowered his voice as a warning, but neither of the girls paid attention to him.

"It's a long story, Harry can tell you later," Y/N calmly said before picking up her handbag and placing Harry's key on the glass table. He thought she would just head out of the door without turning back, but instead she stopped right in front of him. She was expecting something, and he knew exactly what it was.

He ignored the look Ruby was giving them and pulled Y/N into his arms like he'd done the previous night. He made sure no space was left between them, and that she would have something to remember when she walked out of here. But Y/N knew Ruby was watching, so she just put her hands on his back, barely touching him though it was all she wanted to do.

"Text me when you get home safe, alright?" He whispered.

Without another word, she gave him a nod before pulling away. Then she was gone, leaving so fast he could barely finished the word "goodbye". And now he was scared to guess what she might think of him after today. The man who kept running back to the ex he said he didn't love anymore, the same man who'd broken her heart and let her run out in the pouring rain, not the man who had changed and deserved a second chance to make her happy. So much for closure and sincerity, he thought.

With a heavy heart, he shut the door and turned back to Ruby, who was waiting for him, lips slightly parted.

"Have you been sleeping with her?" She asked immediately.

"No," was his answer as he walked back to the couch. Her big cat eyes observed his every move, like she was the predator and he was her prey. In silence, she came to sit by his side and watched him open Y/N's lunchbox while acting like she didn't exist. Now she couldn't take it anymore. She pulled the lunchbox away from Harry, leaving him flabbergasted. If only he would snarl at her, or at least show any kind of emotion to prove that he cared, but all that she got in return was silence. And Ruby hated meaningless silence more than anything in the world.

"She wasn't just a friend, was she?" That wasn't a question, this was, "are you in love with her?"

"She's got a boyfriend. Are you happy to hear that?"

"No." She bit her bottom lip. "If you don't look happy to say it."

"Fuck, Rubes." Harry exhaled, causing the older woman to flinch in surprise. "What else do you want me to say? She's dating Isaac. My best friend. Can you just give me a break?"

Not a single part of that answer stated that he wasn't in love with Y/N, but that was the last thing Ruby cared about at this point. She was so hopeless that she would accept any answer showing a possibility for her to win him back. Taking a deep breath, she forced a smile, forgetting he could always tell when her happiness was fake.

"I'm sorry...I overreacted." She said quietly. He hoped she would stop there, but he knew her well enough to be sure that she wouldn't.

"I have every right to worry though," she began as expected. "You promised to give me a chance, but stopped talking to me since you came back from Holmes Chapel. Then this girl was in your house, and you started acting weird towards me. How am I supposed to feel?"

"I'm sorry...I've had a terrible week." He sighed, turning back to her. There was no reason for him to be sorry, but if it could stop Ruby from giving him a hard time, he didn't mind saying it.

"I forgive you," she whispered, laying her head on his shoulder. Harry swallowed hard when he felt her lips at his ear and soon on his neck. They used their mouths a lot when they were together alone, just never for talking. This was the only way for her to get close to him, and Harry knew exactly how this would end. The only thing on his mind when he kissed her lips, was the look of disappointment Y/N had given him before she walked out. He was also disappointed in himself, yet did nothing to stop Ruby from getting down on her knees and undoing his pants. His head tossed back, and his eyes fell shut. He just wanted to feel something other than a heartache, anything.

The tension in the room had escalated to the point of no return. Something had gone wrong, and Y/N could only wish she knew what it was.

It was probably a bad idea to tell Isaac about her going to Harry's place, but from her own experience, every failed relationship began with a secret, no matter how small. And they were doing so well, she didn't want to mess this up by keeping a secret from him. However, his reaction left her confused. His smile dimmed slowly before fading out, and the blue in his eyes turned ice cold.

"I thought Niall was gonna bring him the food?" He mumbled, not looking at her, even though she was sitting right by his side on the bed.

"Niall was in LA. I called him," she tried to explain, tugging harder at his sleeve to gain back his attention. "But does it matter? I was trying to tell you about—"

"Ruby. I get it." He breathed.

No, he doesn't get it, not at all. "Harry is in a bad place right now, and the last thing he needs is going back to her. I'm worried about him."

"Aren't you always?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" She asked, withdrawing her hands at once.

Isaac rose up and started pacing back and forth, until he was calm enough to stop and point a finger at her. "You're worried about him and Ruby, not because Ruby is toxic for him. But because you cannot accept that he's still the same person who hurt you before."

"No—"

"Don't." He took a step back when she got up and reached for him. Her heart was pounding, and her eyes watered in a second.

"You still love him, right?" Isaac's breathy voice was mixed with a tired laugh that made his body shake slightly.

Without a second thought, she surged forward to seize his arm. "I don't. I'm with you now," she whispered, sounding so desperate, but it wasn't enough to convince him to stay. He took her hands and pinned them to her chest. In that instant, her heart wrenched as the lump in her throat grew bigger.

"Lie to yourself all you want, but don't lie to me." His voice was dangerously low, as if even himself couldn't believe he was saying those words. "You cannot love me, or anyone else for that matter, at least not as much as you love him. But wake up, Y/N. He loves Ruby. He's always gonna love Ruby, he's not gonna change for you. I wish you could just see that...Why can't you see that?" Isaac voice went weaker towards the end, until he had nothing left to say to her, so he reached for the door handle. He told her they could continue their talk in the morning, when they were in their right mind to think this through. However, Y/N had a feeling that nothing was going to change.

Once he had left, she sat alone on her bedroom floor, contemplating his last words over and over again until her mind became numb and she couldn't continue. That was when a text lit up her phone.

⌲ H: Are you home yet?

She almost ignored him. Almost.

⌲ I am. Sorry, forgot to let you know.

⌲ H: It's okay :)

Three dots popped up to show that he was typing, only to disappear right afterwards, leaving Y/N heartbroken. She wasn't thinking straight when she wrote 'Had a fight with Isaac. I don't know what to do.' But right before pressing send, it occurred to her that having him involved might be a bad idea, so she deleted it all and put her phone on airplane mode.

At that same moment, Harry was sitting fully-naked on his bed, patiently waiting for those three dots to reappear. One minute. Two minutes. Now it'd been five, and his heart slowed down for he knew it was not going to happen. He put his device back on the nightstand, just as Ruby pulled him back under the covers. He let her snuggle into his bare chest, while all he wanted was to get out of this room because it didn't feel right. In the darkness, he imagined the girl he loved lying in the arms of his best friend, and his heart wilted to the unpleasant thought.

Little did he knew, Y/N was on her own, trying to fall asleep so she would wake up to a message from Isaac that said everything was fine. But was it really? Or was it just another one of those unrealistic fantasies she'd created for herself — her coping mechanism? Building castles in the air was easier than accepting reality. Having a perfect relationship, a perfect boyfriend, a perfect life, were certainly better than facing the same ending twice.

#my girl series #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfics #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfictions #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles series #older!harry #actor!harry #younger!y/n #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst

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frickfracksnatchisback · 5 years

Text

Craving Soul Food

This is the “snippet” I’ve been working on! (It turned into like 10 pages which is just typical of me) The whole premise is that Snatcher’s hungry and he tries to get some food. Funny shenanigans happen and soul eating is weird. Hope you enjoy!

***

As Snatcher stood at his full height the owl beneath him cowered in fear. It’s small, feathery body shook like a leaf as blue fire erupted in a circle around it. The fire was a bit unnecessary, Snatcher thought to himself, but it added way more dramatic effect. Not to mention it made the owl’s pleads for mercy much more entertaining!

“P-please! I swear I’ll never come back ever again!” it whimpered as the fire grew taller around it.

“Sorry, a deal’s a deal! Besides, you didn’t really think I was going to let you go did you?” Snatcher cackled, delighting in the owl’s dread and fear. “This is MY FOREST, MY TERRITORY, AND MY RULES! If you thought you were going to get out alive you’re a FOOL!” He yelled, his voice making the owl tighten into a quivering mess on the ground.

“But...but I’ve never done anything wrong!” the owl begged again.

“Oh I know that, I know that all too well.” Snatcher said as his expression quickly changed from happy to annoyed. “But the innocent get no say in the matter, we all die eventually.” his voice was sinister and bitter, as if the owl’s words offended him. “Whether by natural means or…by force, we all meet our cruel end at some point.” Snatcher grumbled, his mind trailing off to other things. A certain time to be precise. A time were things were so pleasant and simple...

The owl looked up at him, confused as to why it wasn’t dead yet.

“Anyways” Snatcher said as he cleared his throat. “Where was I? Oh yes! I was going to get to killing you and devouring your soul!” he continued as his grin grew wider. The owl screamed and started to sob uncontrollably. And before the owl could make another attempt to feebly beg for its life, Snatcher snapped his claws prominently. A bolt of purple lightening struck the poor bird, the deed was done.

The nightmare realm dissolved around Snatcher and the lifeless body of the dead owl. Snatcher clapped his hands together and rubbed them in anticipation. I had been awhile since he had a good meal, and he was starving! People didn’t come to visit his forest too often, probably because it was the most haunted place on the planet. But that also meant that food was scarce and Snatcher was dying (haha) to get some souls in him.

“C’mon, c’mon! Any minute now...” Snatcher watched the owl’s body with unbridled anticipation. And, as if on cue, a bright flash of light erupted from the owl’s body. The soul was beginning to take shape, Snatcher could barely control himself. His eyes widened with glee as out of the owl’s body floated-

A disappointment.

Snatcher’s grin fell swiftly as the soul of the owl floated up a measly few inches. The soul was a cold, unforgiving, light gray. A shade gray that felt like a smack in the face to him. The soul’s face was depressed with the movements to match. It simply floated in spot, not caring enough to even test its boundaries.

“Noooooo...” Snatcher whined as his arms fell to his sides. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” he groaned as the owl’s soul looked back at him pitifully. Snatcher grabbed the soul by the tail, it didn’t even seem to struggle. He lifted the soul up until the two were face-to-face with each other. “You’re absolutely useless, you know that?” he growled at it. The soul kept quiet, not like it was able to respond anyways. “I suppose you do.” Snatcher answered for it, utterly disgraced at what he was dealing with.

Souls were fickle things, this much Snatcher knew. They came in all sorts of different shapes, sizes, even flavors. They were what made a person, but that didn’t mean they were said person. They were more like...memories. Bits and pieces of a person’s life glued together into one, small ball of power. And, depending on who you were in a past life, your soul would vary. And if you so happened to meet a tragic enough fate, your soul could manifest and come back as a spirit. A completely new being stuck with the memories of their past life and an infinite lifespan. Which, in hindsight, sounds pretty bad when you think about it for too long. But you get used to it.

That wasn’t true for most souls, though.

Other people, who weren’t as lucky, would simply have their souls float out of their body with no where to go. They had no body to control anymore, which made the outside world very disorienting. And they couldn’t do anything that a ghost could since they weren’t powerful enough to come back as one. Usually a normal soul would act like a whole different creature. Floating in every direction, spinning in circles, wailing like baby separated from its mother. It was a rather entertaining sight to watch!

But not this time, unfortunately.

Snatcher rolled the soul over in the palm of his hand. It didn’t even let out so much as a peep as he squeezed it with his claws. “You couldn’t have been at least a tint of blue?” he said rather forlornly. Blues souls were that of pure-hearted people, people who only did good deeds in life. They were hard to come by, not many people were born innocent after all. But they tasted sweet like the mortal equivalent of candy. He didn’t really have a sweet tooth at the moment, but it would be better than this sad thing. Maybe this soul was just a very light shade of blue and he didn’t notice?

He looked the soul over again, hoping he was wrong about its color. Nope, it was still gray. He flicked the soul out of his hand. It shot away, held itself in the air for a little bit, and sunk down. He grabbed the soul back, and squeezed it again in spite. He then sighed the heaviest of sighs, looked like this was all he was getting for now. How could it have come to this of all things?

“Pathetic, really. Were you that boring of an owl?” he asked it one last question. It continued to stare back at him with a look of Please eat me already. “Fine, I get it. We all have to eat eventually, I guess.” he droned on before reluctantly opening his mouth. He hesitated before popping the soul inside, wanting to get it over with quickly. He swallowed fast, the soul sliding down his throat with ease. He gulped it down and stuck out his tongue in disgust.

“Yuck.” he said with his tongue still out, he didn’t expect it to taste that bad. The taste of souls were hard to describe by humans. But if he had to describe this soul’s taste? It was defiantly bland, like a cracker without salt. Souls would at least give him a surge of power afterwards, this one didn’t even have an ounce. But food was food, not like he had much of a choice anyways.

“Well that was absolutely revolting.” he said plainly, still trying to get the taste of of his mouth. He looked back down at the dead owl. “Eh, the minions will take care of it.” he reassured himself and began to float away to some other place. He didn’t really care about where he was heading in his forest. Just anywhere away from that failure of a “meal”.

A low growl stopped Snatcher dead in his tracks. He frantically looked around for any attackers. “Who’s there?” he demanded, immediately summoning blue fire magic from his hands. He scanned the area, being wary of anything that might pounce at him from the trees. Being a shadow helped tremendously, his vision was razor-sharp when it came to the dark.

“I swear if it’s one of you little gremlins...” he grumbled under his breath. But he couldn’t see anything except the trees. There were no minions hiding in the bushes, check. No spiders hanging down from the trees, double check. And not a pair glowing yellow eyes in sight. Well, except his own that is. He squinted his eyes just in case there might be... Nope, not even a pair of glowing red eyes. At least that was quite relieving to know. Snatcher’s magic fire died down and, after a few more minutes of looking around, he turned to leave again.

He heard the growling again, much louder this time. He whipped back around, a stern expression on his face. “Okay, I know I heard that.” he said. “Listen, I’m not here to play games. Come out from wherever you hiding and maybe, just maybe, I’ll make your death less painful.” he smiled evilly as his eyes darted back and forth between the trees. He really wasn’t in the mood for this. After that little “snack”, if one could even call it that, he was in a particularly foul mood. Not to mention he was starting to get a headache and his sides were killing him for some reason. Probably because he was still sleeping in that old armchair-

The growling came back again, this time Snatcher knew what is was. He held his sides in pain as his stomach continued to growl loudly. He felt unbelievably hungry, even more than he did before. “Well that figures.” he said as his stomach finally calmed itself. “I guess I need more than a ‘snack’ to satisfy me, huh?” he said to himself. “Hmm, I’m craving something but I just can’t think of it. And it’s at the tip of my tongue as well...” he pondered as he tapped his claws against his teeth. “Ugh, it’s like I can taste it but I don’t even know what ‘it’ is!” he huffed.

Snatcher realized he was biting his claws.

“Wait a minute...no.” he said as he finally it figured out. “NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT!” he shouted and shook his head relentlessly. “I’m not going to, I swore I wasn’t going to! T-there has to be something else!” he said and quickly took to sky.

He soared past the dark, swirling clouds of Subcon’s sky at a frightening speed. The sliver moonlight shone down on him and the stars twinkled in the night. It was absolutely breath-taking, but Snatcher didn’t have time to take the sights in. He was too busy looking for something, anything to have for a meal. Lest he resort to- No! Best not to even think about going there. There had to be at least one poor victim who had gotten stuck in one of his traps again.

He stopped mid-air as he noticed something strange happening below. There were spiders...a whole group of them. They were circling around something, climbing on top of one another in a cluster. He couldn’t see what they were fighting over, they were all blocking his view. As he came closer he could hear the collective scuttling of spider legs. And...chewing noises? Huh, sounded like the spiders were eating something they had managed to catch for themselves. They were defiantly doing better at getting a meal than he was.

Wait a minute...WAS THAT ONE OF HIS TRAPS?!

Snatcher growled in anger as he noticed the broken trap next to the feeding spiders. There was nothing left but a heap of smashed parts on the ground. He was infuriated, he had spent so much time putting that one up! Did they just forget who’s forest this was and who made the rules here? If so, they we about to get one heck of a reminder from him. He landed on the ground, ready to knock some sense into those bug-brains.

“ALRIGHT, PARTY’S OVER!” He spoke up, alerting the spiders to his presence. The spiders turned and hissed at him, angry that their meal had been interrupted. He quickly ignited his hands, this was going to get messy. “Did one of you pests do this?! WHO BROKE MY TRAP?!” he yelled, pointing at the trap in question. The spiders glanced at one another, as if they were trying to put the blame on one of their own. “You know what?! ALL OF YOU ARE DEAD ONCE I’M THROUGH WITH YOU!” he yelled in rage and began to attack the group of spiders.

It was not a pretty sight. Spiders were running in every direction, blue potions were falling and exploding on the ground, and fire was spreading everywhere. Snatcher was burning spiders left and right without any hesitation. They had made him extremely angry and he wasn’t planning on stopping until every spider was dead or he tired himself out. But it didn’t take long before the spiders had either retreated or were nothing but a pile of ashes. The area was a total mess before he finally managed to stop attacking.

“AND STAY OUT!” Snatcher screamed before stopping to catch his breath. He huffed and puffed, feeling absolutely drained of energy. No surprise there, he wasn’t getting his daily dosage of souls in him. And no souls meant less power, and less power meant he would tire very easily. He took a moment to investigate the spot where the spiders had been feasting. There was barely anything left except for a few wet patches on the ground, a few human bones, and some scraps of blue fabric here and there. The fabric was also attached to a few branches on the tree directly in front of him. Striped, blue fabric that looked oddly familiar…

Snatcher froze as he noticed the soul of a Mafia man was hiding from inside the tree-hole.

He dared not to move a muscle as the soul slowly floated out from its hiding. It was a deep, dark gray with piercing red eyes. It looked around and floated here and there, checking to see if the cost was clear. Once it felt safer it began to float closer to the ground, making unintelligible noises as it moved around aimlessly.

This one looked like a much more promising meal. Dark gray souls were that of bad people, much better than the light gray ones. Whatever this Mafia man had done in his life, he had been one tough guy. Not to mention he looked...and smelled delicious. Snatcher’s eyes were locked onto the soul’s movement, like a predator watching its prey. His mouth was watering as he slowly raised his claws up. The soul hadn’t noticed him yet, which gave him the perfect opportunity to attack.

“GIMME!” he yelled as he lunged forward and clamped his claws around the unsuspecting soul. He grinned mischievously as he slowly opened his hands to reveal his catch. But when he opened his hands, there was no soul. He frantically looked around to see where it had gone.

The soul was already flying away from him.

“Wh-WAIT! COME BACK!” he yelled and quickly gave chase. The soul looked back, shrieked in fear, and flew away faster. The two dashed through the forest, ducking and weaving past the trees of the forest. Snatcher was having trouble keeping up with it, the soul getting faster and faster the farther they went. But as low as his strength was, his hunger was much stronger. He felt like he could almost taste sweet victory as he hunted it down. His stomach was growling angrily as he came closer, and closer, and-

Throughout all the chaos, Snatcher noticed that the two were heading towards the swamp.

“NO! No no no-” Snatcher repeated as he quickly tried to catch the soul. He tried grabbing for it, but all he caught was air. He pushed himself to go faster before it reached the outskirts of the swamp. If it got anywhere closer to that place, all hope would be lost. He was right behind it, the soul screaming as it zipped through the air. He reached farther, stretching his hand out to where he could almost-

Snatcher went face-first into a tree as the soul made a sharp turn to the right. He stood stiff for a moment before sliding off the tree and falling flat on the ground. His eyes where dizzy swirls and he could almost see stars. Or where those souls? He groaned as he stood up and rubbed the top of his head.

“Ow...” he said as he shook his head, getting the twigs and leaves out of his hair. He then remembered the soul he was chasing after and scrambled back up. He looked left and right for it, he had lost track of the darn thing. He flew past a few of the trees, this time being careful enough not to bump into them. He did, however, whiz past a group of his minions playing a card game. His speed interrupted them as the wind caused the cards to go flying in every direction. Snatcher could’ve of cared less as he immediately saw the soul floating towards the swamp.

Snatcher watched, horrified, as a giant purple hand raised itself from the murky swamp water. He could do nothing as the hand grabbed the soul out of the air and sunk back down into the depths below. A few large bubbles came up to the surface and popped with a sickening noise. His face was grim as stood he there with his arms hanging limp at his sides. That was his only chance of getting a meal, and now it was drowning in that wretched swamp.

“Hey Boss? Are you…okay?” a voice asked from behind him. It was one of his minions, specifically the one that was part of the card playing group. The rest of the group was farther behind, watching from behind the trees or in bushes. “B-boss? You there?” the minion asked again, keeping their distance. Snatcher was silent, his eyes glued to the spot were the soul had been dragged down. He clenched his fists and started to shake in anger. The minion quickly noticed this, and ran for cover. When the boss blew up, he really blew up.

“AAAUGH!” Snatcher screamed out in anguish. His voiced ran throughout the forest causing the trees to shake and scaring off a flock of birds. Fire magic seems to erupt from his hands, his face, his hair, every part of his body was on fire. “WHY?! WHY DO I NEVER GET SO MUCH AS A MORSEL WHEN I NEED IT?!” he raged, tugging on his hair tussles. “EVERY! SINGLE! PECKING! TIME!” he shouted, throwing the worst fit any of his minions had ever seen. He picked up a boulder from the ground and, with great strength, launched it into the swamp lake. It made a huge splash that reached a few feet in the air. The swamp water made terrible screeches and a few hands were crushed by the weight of the boulder.

“OH YEAH?! YOU DON’T LIKE IT DO YOU?! WELL TOO BAD!” he screamed back at the swamp before finally managing to calm himself. The minions, a few Dwellers, and even a handful of Fire Spirits had all gathered to watch the whole tantrum unfold. One incredibly brave minion stepped away from the group and went up to Snatcher. He still had his back turned to the ghosts behind him and was giving death glares to the swamp.

“U-um, Boss?” the minion plucked up the courage to ask.

“WHAT?!” he whipped around to yell at the poor minion. It cowered in fear, it’s legs shaking and shuddering.

“Y-your on f-f-fire Boss!” it stuttered. Snatcher stopped, noticed he was on fire, and let out a hefty sigh. And with that his whole body seem to put itself out. Smoke came off of him as he patted down the small flames on his hair. He was completely unharmed, of course. Fire magic wouldn’t burn or scar him so he was perfectly safe. However, it was still a dangerously bad habit he had picked up while using his magical attacks. Snatcher looked up to see all his subjects looking back at him.

“What are you all staring at?! GO ON, SHOO! GET BACK TO WORK!” he ordered his subjects. The whole group split up in a frenzy, bumping into each other as they all ran back to their posts. Snatcher huffed, he had never been more fed up than he was right now. Lucky for him though, he was rather close to his home. However, that didn’t stop him from grumbling all the way to his tree-home.

“One soul. Just one soul. That’s all I ask for really.” he complained as he as he marched on through the entrance. “I work hard setting up my traps, making my contracts, I rule this whole forest for pity’s sake!” he kept on, flying over the pond of water surrounding his home. “But do I get a soul? Noooooo! I get to sit here and starve while fate throws every little inconvenience at me and drives me INSANE!” he said as he punched the wall of the tree, making the whole structure shake and rattle. He closed his eyes, took in a deep breath, and sighed.

“Maybe I just need a rest. I’ve had a long day.” he reasoned, making his way over to his armchair. His stomach protested by tightening itself, making him wince in pain. “Quiet you.” he said as he squeezed his sides. He looked around his home for something to distract him from the pain. His eyes darted to the grandfather clock, the table, the carpet, the closet.

The closet...

His eyes stayed on the closet for a few minutes. There was something stored in there...something he had been saving for a long time. Something he had recalled craving a few moments ago. Something full of power and energy. Something delicious...delectable...scrumptious...savory! He found himself moving away from the armchair and closer to the closet, as if he was hypnotized. He raised up a clawed hand and was reaching for the handle. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt if he had just a little bite-

“No! Get a hold of yourself!” he snapped out of it and quickly grabbed his own hand before it could get any closer. “I promised myself I was going to save it. I’m not going back on that promise now!” he scolded himself, turning away from the closet and heading towards his armchair. “I’ll simply sleep through this hunger, I’ll forget about it!” he said as he plopped into his armchair. He conjured up a fluffy blanket to wrap around himself and a small pillow that fell into his lap. He shifted in his covers until he felt comfy and hugged his pillow close to him. He took one last looking glance at the closet.

“I’m not going to open it.” he said to himself, hugging the pillow tighter and cuddling his face against it. “I’m not going to open it. I can do this.” his eyes grew heavy as he repeated himself. “I’m not...going to.” his body started to relax as he let out a big yawn. “I’m...not...going...to...” he murmured, closing his eyes. And with that, he fell asleep in no time. His breathing was calm and steady, with a few quiet snores here and there. The tired soul-stealing spirit could finally get some needed rest.

***

He laid on the ground as he looked up at the starry sky. The cool breeze made the leaves of the purple trees fall swiftly and the soothing sounds of nightfall were all around him. He smiled and sighed happily as he rested with his hands tucked behind his head. This was the life! No worries, no work to do, no annoyances to ruin his day. It was a nice change of pace for once.

But what the heck was he doing out here?

“Huh, how did I get out here again?” he said as he slowly sat himself up. Wasn’t he in his home a few seconds ago? How did he get all the way out here? And where was “here” anyways? It felt like his forest but...calmer. There were no minions, Dwellers, Fire Spirits, not even a single spider! It was actually rather nice...but also alarming. Where had they all gone to? “Oh, well. I suppose I should go looking for them.” he reasoned as he stood himself up and dusted himself off.

Snatcher perked up as he heard a noise close to him. A pair of bushes shook and rustled in front of him. A blue soul popped out of the bushes, spinning in circles as it tried to get its bearings. It steadied itself, shaking off the leaves it was covered in. It looked around before it saw Snatcher and cocked its head in curiosity. He looked back at the soul and smiled.

And then licked his lips.

The soul’s eyes widened as it let out a small whimper. Snatcher straightened himself up, towering over the little soul. The soul shook in fear, he delighted in its look of despair. He leaned closer to the soul with his claws stretched out above his head. He glared at the soul, grinning maniacally.

“Boo.”

The soul screamed and quickly flew away. But Snatcher wasn’t upset, he knew he would be able catch it this time. He laughed as he chased after the soul. The area was much clearer this time, giving him the upper hand in this deadly game of cat-and-mouse. His smile grew wider as the soul kept looking back and panicking as he came closer. He snapped his teeth awfully close to intimidate it, and he was not disappointed with its reactions. This was almost too easy!

He decided to slow down a bit to give the soul a fighting chance. He wanted to give it hope before he snagged it for himself. The soul kept going, not daring to look back this time. It ran past the trees and dived into a large pile of bushes to hide. He stopped where he was and looked at the soul’s hiding spot, highly amused.

“Oh no! I lost it! I wonder where it could be?” he said sarcastically. The pile of bushes shook violently, he chuckled to himself. “Come out, come out wherever you are! I just want a small bite...or maybe two!” he said before bursting into laughter. He creeped closer and closer to the bush, readying himself to catch the soul. “Oh, What’s this? Are you hiding in here?” he grinned as he laid his hands on the bush, ready to expose his prey. “AHA!” he shouted as he pushed the bush apart. But their was no soul in sight. He stared at the spot, puzzled. He crawled inside the bush, perhaps it was deeper in? He squeezed past the leaves until he came out onto the other side.

Snatcher’s jaw dropped as he looked up.

Standing before him was the largest soul he had ever seen, even bigger than him! It was a bright yellow-gold, shimmering with beauty. Power radiated off of it in waves and wisps of magic emanated from its surface. Snatcher eyes were filled with wonder and amazement. His smiled in awe, he felt like a kid in a candy store. He could barely contain his excitement as he squealed happily.

“Yes! Jackpot! Hahaha!” he thrilled as he jumped into the air. He laughed as he pounced onto the soul and embraced it affectionately. It was surprisingly soft and warm to the touch. He could hear a steady droning noise coming from inside its core, oddly calming in a way. He nuzzled his face against the soul, purring quietly. He rarely ever purred, it was only when he was truly happy. And right now, he was the happiest ghoul on the planet! “Such a wonderful specimen, I’ve never seen something as stunning as you.” he hummed, staring dreamily at his own reflection in the soul’s surface. He started dragging his claws against it, giggling as the soul wailed in pain.

“Well, that’s enough chit chat! I feel positively famished!” he laughed as he rubbed his hands together, ready to sink his teeth in. He made a show of licking both of his fangs and digging his claws deeper into the soul. He opened his mouth wide and chomped down into the soul. He could feel the warmth of the soul in his mouth, like biting into a freshly baked pastry straight from the oven. His mouth watered, but he didn’t care that he was drooling. He was more concentrated on the flavor of that tasty soul!

And it tasted...fluffy?

***

Snatcher snapped awake as he realized he was biting into his pillow. He spat out pieces of cotton and stuck out his tongue. He looked at the pillow, it was absolutely ruined. It was covered in bite and claws marks with cotton sticking out of every tear. Good thing that he wasn’t going to keep that pillow, it was practically tore to shreds. There were also wet spots where he had drooled on the fabric. He then noticed that there was still drool on his mouth and quickly wiped it off.

Snatcher stared at the pillow for a few minutes, and began to rip in into pieces.

Cotton went flying everywhere as he tore it apart with his claws. He was fuming, not to mention embarrassed at himself. He almost ate a pillow...a pillow! He was so delirious with hunger that he was seconds away from swallowing a sack full of cotton! He threw the remains of the pillow onto the floor, the pieces of cotton and fabric all dissipating into puffs of smoke. He tossed the blanket off of him and it did the same as it hit the wall.

“I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I’LL GO MAD IF I DON’T EAT SOMETHING!” he shouted as he got up from his armchair and lunged for the closet. Every part of his brain was telling him not to do this, he was being impulsive! But the more agreeable part said to heck with that! He was too hungry care if he was acting stupid. He swung the closet doors open and began searching for it. After tossing through a few things, he finally managed to find what he was looking for.

He held up a large, glass jar bound with chains and a magic lock. Inside the jar was a light purple soul, bouncing and shaking inside. Purple souls were his favorite type of souls, they were the souls of very powerful people. But they were even rarer to come by than blue souls! And this soul was from the last lackey he had made a contract with. After that man met his...unfortunate end, he put the soul away in the closet to store it. He had been saving it for a special occasion, swearing to himself that he wouldn’t open it until then. Shame it had come to this, but he need food and he needed it now!

He went back to his armchair with the jar in hand. If he was going to eat this soul he was going to be comfy while doing it. He sat down and looked inside the jar, the soul taking one look at him and shrieking in fear. Snatcher was pleased to see that through all this time this soul was still brimming full of energy! He quickly summoned the key to the magic lock and began to unlock it. The chain, lock, and key disappeared in a cloud of magic smoke once he popped the lock open.

“Oh, I’ve been waiting for this!” Snatcher chuckled as he took the lid off and reached inside for the soul. He grabbed it, it squirming ever so lively in his grasp. As he pulled the soul out its screams became louder and louder. He waved away the jar and it disappeared like the rest. The soul struggled to escape, but he kept his grip tight. He started to play around with it, satisfied by its yelps of pain. He poked it, prodded it, pulled it, pinched it, happily torturing it with his claws.

“I know, I know. It’s a shame I couldn’t save you for later, isn’t it?” he told the soul as it sobbed fearfully. “But what a fine meal you are going to make!” he cackled, licking his sharp fangs and sticking out his tongue. He pinched the soul’s tail, lifting it up closer to his mouth. He opened his mouth wide like a snake, extra teeth growing in next to his fangs. The soul could see his mouth as a large, glowing, bright yellow abyss. It swung left and right, trying to avoid Snatcher’s gaping maw as best it could. But before it could, Snatcher dropped it straight into his mouth.

He quickly closed his mouth shut, the soul’s tail still sticking out from between his fangs. He slurped it up like a noodle and started chewing. He didn’t swallow just yet, he wanted to savor the soul’s taste in his mouth. The soul wriggled and squirmed, trying to escape from its deadly prison. He chomped down on it, feeling the warmth and power of the soul invading his taste buds. He relished the taste for a few moments before finally swallowing it whole.

“Mmmmmm!” he hummed, hugging himself gleefully. His entire body glowed with power as magic emanated off of him. He seem to grow in size, his form pulsing and rippling with power. His form stopped glowing after a few minutes and the wisps of magic died down. He let out a blissful sigh and slid down deep into his armchair. He felt happy, his stomach warm and full of food. He purred lightly, he needed that.

“Ahhh, that hits the spot.” he sighed again, closing his eyes and snuggling deeper into his chair. He felt much better, his strength instantly brought back to normal. He felt like his old self again! Powerful and all mighty, like he should be. He felt like he could fight anyone and beat them without even trying. But for right now, he was more concerned on relaxing after a good meal. “Is there possibly anything better than eating souls?” he asked himself, cuddling the arm of the armchair.

“Well I think it’s a rather barbaric practice.” a strange voice said.

Snatcher eyes were wide open as he shot up from his armchair, as if he was caught doing something shameful. He knew that voice all too well as turned his head towards the back entrance. Standing (well, more like floating) there in the entrance was a red-coated visitor. A very unwelcome visitor who looked back at him with disgust and judgment. A certain blue skinned ghost whom Snatcher loathed with every passing second.

“Moonjumper...” he hissed, his claws digging into the arms of his armchair. The fancy ghost nodded and smiled back at him.

“Likewise. May I ask what you’re doing here?” he asked, floating inside and picking up a book from the table. “Besides...eating. That much I could tell.” he cringed at the word “eating” before opening the book’s contents. Snatcher glared at him, he absolutely hated it when that corpse came into his home and acted like he owned the place.

“That’s none of your business. Why are you even here?” he groaned, face-palming as Moonjumper started to flip through his book. Moonjumper kept flipping through, as if he didn’t hear him. “AHEM!” Snatcher cleared his throat loudly.

“Hm? Oh sorry, I was busy reading this. I haven’t seen it in ages!” he grinned, making Snatcher glare daggers at him. “Also what do mean ‘why am I here’? You’re telling me you forgot all about the racket you made earlier?” he said, closing the book and setting it back down. Snatcher’s face flushed in embarrassment, recalling his sudden outburst. “Honestly, you can be such a hot-head.” Moonjumper sighed, shaking his head in disappointment.

“I was hungry, okay?” Snatcher mumbled.

“I don’t understand how you could do something so...grotesque.” Moonjumper said, shuddering.

“Oh yeah? You know what else is grotesque? Your face!” Snatcher retorted, making Moonjumper gasp in offense.

“Oh, that’s very mature of you.” Moonjumper said, appalled.

“Then maybe don’t stalk me while I’m eating you piece of rot.” Snatcher insulted. He then realized something that made his skin crawl. “By the way, how long were you watching me?” he asked worriedly, afraid he might be right.

“Long enough to watch you chew on a pillow.” Moonjumper waved a hand. Snatcher face fell and he covered it to hide his blushing. “By the way, I had no clue that you could purr! It’s rather adorable!” Moonjumper said, snickering. Snatcher stopped covering his face and shook in anger.

“OH YEAH? I’LL SHOW YOU ‘ADORABLE’ WHEN I BURN YOUR FACE OFF!” Snatcher shouted in rage, his hands igniting with fire. Moonjumper stopped smiling and quickly regretted his decision. Uh oh he thought and quickly sprinted out of the tree.

Snatcher chased Moonjumper throughout the whole forest. Moonjumper feared for his life as he barely dodged Snatcher’s fireballs. But thanks to a good meal, Snatcher could keep this up all night!

#i thought it was a funny idea #snatcher being hangry #that's the whole fic #please don't judge me #ahit #a hat in time #ahit snatcher #a hat in time snatcher #ahit moonjumper #a hat in time moonjumper #ahit fanfiction #a hat in time fanfiction #ahit fanfic #a hat in time fanfic #snatcher #the snatcher #moonjumper #frickfrack fic

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eerythingisshaka · 6 years

Text

Will the Bell Ring? Pt. 4

[Erik Killmonger x Black OC]

Word Count 5.8k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Erik has a meeting one morning to discuss the upgrades he has planned for key components of the new model Boeing airplane that is set to begin manufacturing early the following year. Erik stood at the sink in the master bathroom reciting lines to himself that he had prepared with notes on his phone.

“As you can see, the planes trajectory following take off can be more smoothly….more smoothly...smoother? Uhh-- SHIT!”

Erik curses to himself as the blade angled in the wrong direction, cutting his jaw.

“You ok in there baby?” Kimara calls out from the bedroom.

Erik watches the blood begin to bubble and drip onto his shirt before he could get a tissue to catch it.

“Fuck! Yeah...I’m aight.” Erik calls back.

Kimara is putting on an earring when she walks in to see him. “Oh damn, Erik. You cut yourself today of all days?.” Kimara reaches for the tissue to survey the damage.

“Ain’t it some shit? I gotta be at the office in one hour and I fucking maim myself and stain my fucking shirt.”

“Ohh, now stop.” Kimara pats his chin as the blood begins to clot instead of run. “At least now you have an excuse for the bald spot right around there.”

Erik pins her arms down giving her slight shake. “What I tell you bout that?”

Kimara cracks up uncontrollably. “HAHA! About what?!”

Erik stares her down sticking his chin in her face. “Say it again, I dare you…”

Kimara bites her lips choking back her laughter. “I meant to say...you look very handsome.”

“Uh huh.” Erik says unconvinced but satisfied.

“So now the white men with toupees can swap Rogaine recommendations.” Kimara adds swiftly.

“YOUGONNAADDTHATWHILEIGOTYOUSNATCHEDUP??!!!” Erik barks at a cackling Kimara, tickling her neck and the sides of her torso mercilessly.

“OK! OK! You finna make me pee, STAHP!” Kimara orders in between breaths.

Erik backs off eventually, checking his chin self consciously. “You playing too much this morning. Since this your week for laundry, make sure you don’t forget the softener this time. That shit smell good as hell to let it sit.”

Kimara goes over to the toilet to relieve herself, leaning on her knees as she regains her composure. “Whatever. You got time to eat something before you go?”

Erik pulls off his shirt in all studded and scarred glory. “Nah, I took too much time at the gym this morning, so Imma have to pick somethin up later on.”

Kimara flushes and goes to her sink rinsing her hands. “Ok. Let me know when you get off, I wanna go out.”

Erik pulls out an new shirt from his closet to put on. “Aight bet. You got a place in mind?”

Kimara thinks a moment. “Not really, but I’ll look up some stuff we can come to a decision on.”

Erik shakes his head. “Uh uh say less. I got you. Lemme surprise you with somethin good for once, ok? You got enough on your plate, imma fill it with something tasty, ok?”

“Oh my God, you being corny, but I like it. Thank you…” Kimara says sweetly with smile to match. Erik pulls her to him for a kiss and a goodbye smack on her ass as he finished up and headed out for the day.

Erik’s meeting with the board went on practically without a hitch. Erik was always more nervous during preparation than when it came down to performance. His presentation ran according to his plan and all the old white men looking back at him seemed slightly above average in intrigue over what he had to say. No one was ever too excited for the meetings unless lunch was included, which today it wasn’t. But by the end he got a round of applause and a series of questions that he answered effortlessly. When the meeting was dismissed, the cordialities and congratulations were passed around to Erik which he took lukewarmly. He’d been doing this long enough to know that a handshake and a smile does not a deal make.

“Hey Erik, great presentation today son. You really knocked it outta the park with this one.” Edward Hawkins, the engineering department head and Erik’s boss, says to him.

Erik nods appreciatively. “Sure thing. I looked as deep into it as I could and I’m pretty proud of the outcome.”

Edward subconsciously brushes his comb-over over. “Yeah, it shows, the details were amazing and your stats very appropriate. I wouldn’t be surprised if I heard from Dave tomorrow morning with a deal to move forward with a couple things you proposed today.”

“I won’t hold my breath for news that quick, but drinks on you if that’s the case.” Erik claps Edward on his back and goes to leave.

“Oh, Erik! I did want to talk to you about something. I was talking with some of the board members and we thought you might work better with a team, just one extra partner to kind of share the load.”

Erik puts his hands in his pockets walking slowly to Edward. “Whatchu mean?”

Edward stutters. “Well I-I mean it's a lot of research and money riding on what you do so to protect you and the company, we feel having a teammate with you would be beneficial!”

“Who you want me with?” Erik asks curtly.

“Uh, Bryan actually.” Edward says nervously.

Erik scoffs. “Your son? The intern?”

Edward gets defensive quickly. “Now hang on, he is an entry level employee now and he went to Brown, he has the mental capacity to keep up with you. You think?”

“I don’t think so, nah.” Erik adds.

Edward sighs. “Well hell, Erik. I don’t know what to tell you. But this isn’t an if but a when situation so I just wanted to give you a heads up so you weren’t blindsided.”

“Cut the bullshit man and tell me what’s this really about. I been handling mine, no problem. I thought y’all didn’t have the budget for hiring new people any damn way.” Erik rebuttals. He knew the white folks around there complain most about money. Edward wasn’t gonna pull this over on him so fast.

“It’s not technically a hiring, just a promotion.”

“Ohhhh, that’s nice. Well since I’m babysitting his ass, I expect a heavier drop in bank account, and that ain’t a promise, issa threat.” Erik warns, walking towards the glass doors.

“Oh! Erik, come on! You’re expecting a helluva lot outta me here.” Edward calls out.

“I know you good for it. Make it happen.” Erik walks out leaving Edward to ponder his proposal.

The meeting was the biggest portion of his day, and judging from his calendar, he is free the rest of the day. Erik texts Kimara to see if she’d be down to go out still while he attempts to read her mind for a perfect evening ahead.

In the meantime, Erik calls his cousin to pester. “Aye T! The hell you doin nigga?”

T’Challa sighs deeply. “Yes, N’Jadaka. How have you been?”

“Pretty good right now. I got through with work early so I’m tryna get ready to go out.”

This elicits and even biggers sigh from T’Challa. “N’Jadaka, there is no way I can go out with you again this week. I doubt I would want to for the rest of the year to be honest.”

“Not with you, fuck you mean? I’m talking about Kimara!” Erik says.

“Ohh, well then that is good. You both are doing well?” T’Challa’s tone brightens suddenly at the relief of not getting blasted drunk in the club again.

Erik approaches his office, closing the door and the blinds. “Yeah man, I tell you! These past few days have been so good man, we vibing for real.”

“That is great to hear! She deserves some stress free days concerning all you have planned to do together.”

“Yeah, we haven’t heard back from my doc about the results yet so it’ll be any day. But she hasn’t even brought up nothing bout it. No text reminders about ovulating and shit, no scheduled sex, just regular spontaneous freakin that-”

“Eh eh, N’Jadaka you are overdoing it again!” T’Challa warns.

Erik scoffs putting his feet up on his desk. “Shit my bad. I thought we were having a moment.”

“No your thoughts and desires were having a moment. So on that note, and keep it clean, what do you and Kimara have planned to do tonight?”

“That’s the thing man. I’m still tryna figure it out. I’m bout to pull up some four and five star spots so she can get all cute and fancy for a nigga, you know?” Erik powers up his computer to being his search.

“Doesn’t she usually Asian foods?” T’Challa asks.

“Yeah, them beepbeebop meals and shit? She loves the fuck outta all the side dishes they give with the meal. More bang for the buck she says, but we ain’t been together….probably since we been married.”

“Bibimbap. But good, there’s a Korean grill place that opened up downtown you might want to try with her. I met with Nakia there recently and it was pretty good.”

“Hold UP! You and Nakia went out? Nigga, details!” Erik says excitedly.

“I have asked you countless times to stop calling me that. But yes we did, only to go over ideas about the outreach center .”

“Annnd?” Erik asks.

“Erik…” T’Challa mimicks Erik, but in a stern tone.

“Ooh, ok, you serious using my government name. I see you. So are you still fucking that one girl from the club?”

“I’m hanging up.” T’Challa says.

“Wait wait, you can’t talk to me about that either?”

“I don’t parade my conquests for everyone to hear about.”

“Aha, so y’all still fucking. Ok, well knowin your ass, she must be a serious situation now. Especially if you ain’t giving Nakia the time of day.” Erik says matter-of-factly.

T’Challa hesitates before answering. “We are considering things still, but it is an appropriate adult partnership. Nothing more, nothing less.”

“Well at least you gettin something on the side while you waiting for scraps at Nakia’s door. Listen, what’s the name of that Korean place?”

“Palmi, it is not an uptight place but she will enjoy the atmosphere and food, I’m sure.”

Erik types in the place by name and reads over the reviews. “Cool, this should work. Thanks man.” Erik’s phone dings with a notification from Kimara confirming their night out.

“Ok T, Imma let you go. I got some time to pick some roses up or something to give her.” Erik says getting ready to go.

“Get calla lilies instead.” T’Challa offers.

Erik pauses. “What? She likes them more? I got her roses on Valentines, she liked them just fine.”

“Exactly, that was that manufactured holiday Americans love so much. Lilies are sweeter, more elegant, sends a better message.”

Erik nods. “Ok T, I might try that after all, good looking out.”

Erik clicks off the phone call with T’Challa and makes his way home to get changed. Kimara was still at the studio so he texts her to meet him at the Korean restaurant in an hour. There is a florist up the street from his job that he stops by to get Kimara a bouquet of ten lilies with some eucalyptus leaves.

When he gets home, Erik takes his time washing the funk of white elitist off of his skin and slips into his real nigga attire for the day: dark navy canvas jacket over his chocolate colored Henley with black distressed jeans and timbs. Erik spritz some cologne, just enough to make her lean into him to get a better whiff. He refreshed his locs, banding them atop his head and giving himself a once over, feeling his excitement build as the time drew near. Erik wanted his lady to know she was appreciated and tonight would highlight that for them.

Pulling up to the restaurant, Erik saw her car was already in the parking lot, a soft glow through the tinted windows indicated she is sitting and waiting for him. Erik gets out the car with flowers behind his back as he crouches, hopping over to the back end of the car. He glides toward her driver’s side window before knocking loudly against it, causing her to honk the horn in fright.

“Dammit, Erik!” Kimara shouts rolling down her window.

Erik leans into the window. “Ma’am, there’s no loitering in the parking lot. Spaces for patrons of the restaurant only.”

Kimara turns on the light in her car to check her makeup in her phone. “Made me smudge my lips.”

“That’s gonna be a problem you have all night. Com’ere.” Erik pesters Kimara who gives him a light smooch before reapplying.

Erik opens her car door, helping her out of it. “Babe, you ain’t had to fuck up the game like this! I thought you was coming home from work, I know I ain’t let you out the house in this!”

Kimara wore some denim cut off shorts, making a dream out of her deep toned thighs with flesh colored platform sandals adorning her feet. Her voluptuous frame stood out as her best accessory hugged by her ‘COCO Butter’ baby tee with a scoop neck that let her girls breathe a bit.

Pulling back her wavy 18 inches back, Kimara shrugs. “So what about it? A queen comes prepared for any meet and greet, understand me?”

Erik rubs his chin, not able to take his eyes off any part of her. “That ain’t a fucking problem one bit baby. I just hope these shits don’t wilt from you showing them up tonight.” Erik takes the bouquet from behind him, giving them to Kimara.

“Awww, Erik! These are so gorgeous! And…” She gives them a good sniff. “MM! Good call on that eucalyptus. How did you know I love me some lilies?”

Erik takes her hand and leads her to the restaurant. “I know what my lady like. That’s why we finna feed my Mara well so she can go to bed with a smile on her face, you hear me?”

Kimara giggles. “Good cuz I’m starving too.”

A hostess greets the, warmly before setting them at a table and giving them menus. Erik and Kimara look over the options.

“The pork belly is good for sure, but the marinated bulgogi never fails me either…” Kimara mutters, looking over their options.

“Get whatever you want Mara, you know this better than me. If it’s meat, I’ll eat.” Erik professes.

Kimara calls over a waitress and asks for her two faves to order. “And couple bottles of soju please.”

“What’s a soju?”

Kimara grins sneakily. “Just a little something to warm us up, you know?”

“Ahh, ok. Tryna take advantage of me. I ain’t falling for it neither.” Erik smirks.

Kimara puts a hand up to his face. “Skrrrrt! In ya dreams!”

Erik takes her hand, kissing her knuckles. “You right, woman of my dreams all day every day.”

Kimara rolls her eyes but can’t stop her smile. “So damn corny. I guess all this good mood is cuz your presentation went well?”

Erik screws his face up. “I can be happy to see you too! But...a little bit of work shit too. Mara, I KILLED that shit. Those whites didn’t phase me not one time.”

Kimara gives him a quick applause. “How soon til you know what’ll stick for the roll out next year?”

“Ed made it seem like tomorrow, but realistically I’d give it the end of the week.”

The waitress brings out a tray of little dishes with appetizers for them to share and their bottles of soju with some glasses. Erik and Kimara get their chopsticks ready.

“What’s that?” Erik points to one of the dishes.

“That’s gamja jorim. It’s like potatoes in soy sauce, really good!” Kimara picks a cube of potato up, moaning at the first bite as she bounces in her seat.

Erik tries it out but makes a face. “It’s cold!”

“It’s supposed to be!” Kimara says laughing at him. Erik opens a bottle of soju and takes a swig.

“Yo! You’re supposed to drink it like a shot! You not tryna drive home??” Kimara exclaims.

Erik sets the bottle down, mulling over the flavor. “That’s not bad, weak, but not bad.”

“It’s not weak, it’s just smooth. Your taste buds so used to drinking gasoline, you don’t know good liquor.”

“Not too much on my taste, Miss Thing Thang. I know what’s good, like some meat right now.” Erik whines scoping the restaurant out like it was supposed to fall from the sky.

Kimara tastes a couple more of the other appetizers. “Have some of the kimchi! It’s that red cabbage over there.”

Erik does so, to little fanfare. “I said MEAT Mara!”

On cue, the waitress comes out with a cutting board and the raw meat laid out in two piles, and a side of three dipping sauces for each of them. She runs some oil along the grill in front of them and places some meat on the hot plate, flipping them and plating some for them before wishing them luck and dismissing herself.

Erik sits there flabbergasted. “Imma kills this nigga.”

Kimara places more meat on the griddle. “The pig and cow are already dead, bruh.”

“I mean T’Challa. He recommended this place and he ain’t told me that we gotta cook shit ourselves. That meat is $30 a pop! We coulda went to the store and ate at home!” Erik fumes, taking his bottle of soju up for another gulp.

Kimara thinks about this a moment. “Well I think you’re crazy. I’m thanking T’Challa then when we get home, cuz I guess your imagination lives inside a Big Mac box. Eat!”

Kimara shows Erik hot to lay the meat out and when to tell that it’s ready to take off and eat. After a few pieces Erik is setting up the sliced meats himself and plating them for him and Kimara.

Kimara gives him a handclap of praise. “That’s it! See, This the only time I’ve gotten you to cook for me. Look at God.”

Erik hiccups. “I cook for you before, lyin ass.” Erik clinks a plate down before sloppily eating a piece of marinated beef like a spaghetti noodle.

Kimara takes a sip of soju from her glass. “Oh shit. Erik, gatdammit! You drank too much?”

Erik sits up with a big smile. “Never too much, never too much!” he sings.

Kimara calls over the waitress. “Now I’m gonna have to get up early and get you over here to come get your car. Fucking…” She gives the waitress her credit card and starts to put on her coat.

Erik reaches for Kimara across the table. “Baby….baby...babe….you know this meat was real good.”

Kimara swats his hand. “Yeah, I told you it would be.”

“I know somethin that taste better though.” Erik says before cackling out loud. “I can still eat baby, just SAY THE WORD!”

Kimara breathes a sigh of relief when she sees the waitress come back with her card.

“Thanks for coming you guys! Have a good night!”

“Thank you miss lady, we ‘preciate chu.” Erik says. He looks over at Kimara writing. “Aye! Don’t tip, she ain’t cooked shit.”

Kimara shushes him. “Damn, Erik, shut up! This is a restaurant, she still served us!” Kimara finishes writing out the ticket and her and Erik walk out the door to her car. Erik leans back in the passenger seat until he is completely leveled out. “Come on, sit for daddy…” Erik reaches over Kimara in the driver’s seat.

“Erik, I gotta drive, just go to sleep or something.” Kimara says, backing out of the space.

“My wife got the fattest ass, fattest pussy, fattest titties. Shit too good to let go to waste. That’s why I’m taking you home girl…”

“No, I’m taking you home.” She corrects.

“...You my leftovers. I’m eat that ass up later.” Erik laughs to himself at his dinner puns.

Erik sits his seat upright again after a while. “Mara, I’m sorry.”

Kimara looks over at him. “What’re you talking about?”

Erik leans on her shoulder. “I wanna do right. I wanna be good to you.”

“Aww, you are baby!”

“But you deserve it all, putting up with my bullshit.” Erik mutters.

“You just got a little drunk. I’m not mad at you.”

“I ain’t talkin bout now. I shouldn’t have left you.”

Kimara tenses up.

“Those last days were so good, but I wasn’t ready for good. I didn’t want you cuz you made things nice. But I wasn’t a nice person yet.” Erik says.

“Y-yes you were. I knew you were, that’s why you came back.”

“I wanted to die. T didn’t let me. If it wasn’t for your forgiveness I probably woulda…” Erik slumps down in her lap.

“Watch it Erik!” Kimara exclaims.

Erik twists his face to her stomach to kiss it. “That’s why Imma make us a family. I don’t care what a doctor say, we finna have a cute ass baby. I owe it to you.”

Kimara is silent for a while. “You don’t OWE me a baby Erik.”

“I do, I do. I’ll do whatever to get this done right.”

“Erik, shut up, ok?” Kimara says softly.

Nine Years Ago (Revisit)

Erik had been gone a month, and Kimara had no one she could talk to about it. Her days working at the local community center to teach music to kids was her only escape from the day to day.

“Ok Lala, from the top. Caro mio ben, Credimi almen…” Kimara sat at the piano going over the melody as her sophomore student Lala handled the lyrics. She handled the Italian pronunciations expertly, however getting the traditional operatic tone was proving difficult..

As Kimara played along a cramp in her stomach made her stop playing abruptly to clutch the source of the pain.

“Ms. Walker? Is something wrong?” Lala asked with concern.

Kimara felt horrible all of a sudden as her condition progressed. “No….well, not with you. I’ve got to stop this rehearsal early. Keep practicing on your own and I’ll see you next week.”

Kimara made her way to her car, rooting through her purse for her phone but ran across the prescription pill bottle first. Staring at the label with her name and instructions, she thinks what may have happened had she not gotten them. Could she have gone on without taking them?

Just then a wave of nausea hit her as she opened her car door to kneel out and puke all over the asphalt. The stinging in her throat from the force and volume of it all made her cough uncontrollably, stimulating her gag reflex even more. Kimara gets back in the car, cursing herself for the predicament she has been put in. This was supposed to be the easier way, at this rate she may probably should’ve rethought things.

Sitting in silence for her body to settle down, Kimara’s phone rings, breaking her calm. She finds it in her purse but sees it’s an unknown number.

“Hello?” She asks gruffly, voice strained from vomiting.

“Yes, is this Kimara?” The voice asks.

“Who is this?”

“I am T’Challa, Erik’s cousin? I don’t know if he ever mentioned me but-”

Kimara perks up at the name. “You said you’re Erik’s family? You’re from Africa?”

He sighs. “So he hasn’t told you about me then.”

Kimara grows tense. “Why hasn’t he? But first of all, why are you calling me? Where’s Erik?”

“He is with me, in Wakanda, for a few weeks now.”

“What?? He actually made it there…” Kimara’s voice trails off as she thinks of how Erik told her about the stories of his home, the lost family he was a part of, and claiming his part in it. “I still don’t understand why I’m hearing from you though.”

“He wants to see you Kimara. He wants to talk to you about things, make things right with you.”

Kimara let out a grave laugh. “Ohhh, this is corny as fuck. He is sending his cousin, some foreign dude I ain’t met, to call and ask me to talk to him sounding like a scammer. You tell his ass to bring himself back here on a plane to the States and maybe we will talk. How about that?”

“He can’t do that.” T’Challa says.

“Like hell he can! He got there, he can come back. You calling me? Call him a plane ticket so he can bring his sorry ass back here and say shit to my face. I ain’t crawling nowhere to him. He don’t know what he’s left me with!”

“Kimara, I’m sorry it’s coming out like this, but-”

“I said what I said, T’Challa!” Kimara hangs up in his face. She was fuming as she started her engine and drove off to head home. If Erik only knew….And he always did things like this: do her wrong, then beg to see her and act like nothing was wrong because ‘leave the past in the past’. He smiles his way into her good graces and they’d be cuddled up with her favorite movie and snacks. But this wasn’t college anymore, they were grown now, and he left her vulnerable. Kimara knew they were going to go somewhere this time but he didn’t treat her any different than the girls he ran through in his hoe years. But she was supposed to be different, he convinced her of that. Not anymore, from this day forward.

Kimara pulled up to her place to see a man standing outside of it. It was dark out so she really wasn’t sure who it was, but the deja vu was heavy within her. She slowly stepped out her car and stayed behind it as she shut the door.

“Yeah?” She asked cautiously.

The figure turned around to face her, giving her view of his face. “Kimara, I know this is rude of me to insist, but I have to act on Erik’s behalf. You have every right to be angry, but he needs you right now. I want to help you through that.”

Present Day

The trill of Erik’s phone going off wakes them both up as they take a lazy morning. Kimara barely got a good night’s rest for Erik having gotten too drunk and staggering to bed noisily and sloppily, only then to snore ridiculously loud for almost the whole night. Kimara smacked her pillow at him to stir him but soon as he hit REM sleep, he was Foghorn Leghorn in the sheets.

Kimara rounded off her pillow upside his head once more to get him to pick up his phone, this time Erik has gained more coordination to register his surroundings. He picks up his phone without acknowledging the caller ID.

“Hello?’ Erik asks with a heavy tongue.

“Yes, Good morning Mr. Stevens. This is Doctor Tracy from Jocelyn Elders Fertility Clinic. How are you this morning?”

Erik sits up slowly. “Oh hey, yeah, I think you should be telling me that, right?”

The doctor laughs. “Sure, that’s fair. I would like to speak with you and your wife in person about the results, if you have time this afternoon?’

Erik lightly hits Kimara on her shoulder. “Aye Mara, you got anything to do this afternoon?”

“I always got something Erik, why?” Kimara mumbles.

“The doc wants to see us about my results, but I can schedule it later.”

Kimara shoots up with renewed energy. “Shit! They wanna see us?” Erik nods, covering the mic part of his phone. Kimara motions to him nodding as she gets up and heads to the bathroom.

“Uhh, yeah, this afternoon will work for us.”

At the doctor’s, they sit in a room waiting to be seen. The doctor’s normal office seems as sterile and bland as an examination room with the smell of unidentified solutions and the overpowering whiteness of their surroundings, Kimara’s nerves are on the edge.

“What do you think they’re going to tell us?” She asks.

Erik is leaning on his knees looking blank in his face. “Whatchu mean?”

“I mean, hell, if it was good they would’ve just told us on the phone! Did you fuck up your balls doing your duties overseas and you ain’t told me?”

“Hell nah! Shit like that don’t happen. Females swear guys gets kicked in the balls every other day or somethin.” Erik retorts adjusting himself.

“Well it’s gotta be something. Maybe your time in Africa you got mixed with some shit that didn’t agree with you and wound up making you sterile.”

“Mara, you don’t know anything about Wakanda or vibranium so chill on that theory.”

“Then tell me something I don’t know Erik, cuz you’d be wasting both our time holding back.” Kimara warns.

Erik peers over at her. “The only thing getting wasted is my time and money sitting here cuz ain’t shit the fuck wrong with me.”

Kimara hated when Erik brought up how much he was doing for her by just showing up or dropping some cash on a situation. She wasn’t with him for everything he could do for her, she was with him because she loved being with him, wanted the best for him, and she put in too many years with him to get that notion twisted.

Before she could really let him have it, the doctor walked in.

“Good Afternoon folks. I’m glad you were able to make it on such short notice.” Dr. Tracy greeted them both with a smile and a handshake.

“No problem! We’ve been waiting on these for a little bit so no way would we miss this.” Kimara says, looking over at Erik with a smile, who looked bored with it all.

“Yeah, so whatchu got for us doc?” Erik says scratching his beard noisily.

Dr. Tracy nods. “Of course, so I won’t delay it any further. Erik after reviewing your sample, we found nothing abnormal with your sperm count, their mobility, or make up. You seem perfectly capable of being able to conceive a child with your wife.”

A moment of silence washed over the both of them as they looked wordlessly at one another.

“Soooo, I’m fine? Chamber loaded, no blanks?”

“Erik!” Kimara chides him.

Dr. Tracy chuckles. “It’s ok, I’ve heard all the euphemisms. But you are correct. They are...clear for takeoff!”

“Then why are we not pregnant yet?” Kimara asks in a hollow tone.

“Well, there’s a multitude of scenarios that can contribute to it but what we know right now is that Erik’s sperm is prime for conception and your uterus is beautiful for harboring a baby, just an example of good genetic make up. I would want to be reborn again from you if I had the chance!” Dr. Tracy adds.

Erik grips the bridge of his nose in frustration. “So what do you recommend we do from here?”

“Well honestly I would say to just keep having your regular routine. If you want to keep track of ovulation that’s fine but honestly I wouldn’t put too much pressure on it until it’s been a year of trying. I know they taught us in school it only takes one time, but as we get older and just leaving it up to God, it sometimes takes just that one good day after many for it to happen.”

“Ok. I got the answer I needed. Are we done here?” Kimara says, getting up before she could answer.

“Yes. Like I said folks, this is good news. It means this can still happen naturally and cheaply.” Dr. Tracy says with a slight chuckle that drops to a tight smile when she reads their expressions.

As Erik and Kimara get in her car, Erik starts. “We need a new doctor.”

“What?” Kimara asks with contempt.

Erik taps on his window nervously looking outside. “This one don’t know what she talking bout clearly. How she finna joke about this?”

“I mean, she wasn’t laughing at us, she was trying to make us feel better.” Kimara says.

“Nah, she don’t need defending. She need to give us some real solutions instead of a punchline. This ain’t a night at the Apollo, or is she taking us as a joke cuz we Black?”

“Erik, she gave us good news, right? Are you gonna take any piece of that positivity and just be happy with it? I don’t know why you’re being mean with her.”

Erik scoffs. “Trust me this ain’t mean. I’m just being real. You know these doctors give less of a fuck for us then they do white patients. She would been giving us fertility referrals and brochures and clinics out her ass if we were white. But with us it’s ‘well just keep fucking like you niggers always do’.”

“ERIK! Shut the fuck up! I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you, but you don’t have a damn place to be this upset right now.” Kimara yells, gripping the steering wheel tightly.

Erik’s neck practically snaps to face her. “The fuck is-”

“Nah Erik, you been talkin. Soon as we got there you had stank on you, callin her ‘doc’ and talkin all vulgar. You need to quit acting like such a child! I almost think you WISH your balls were empty.”

“Mara, ain’t nobody-”

“AND NOW you wanna say let’s switch doctors, when we been working with her since I first told you I was worried about not getting pregnant yet. She’s spent all this time with us, changing doctors ain’t easy or quick. You know I’m the one that has to carry this right? I’m going to be the one to have to go through treatments if it comes down to it?’

“I know.”

“Nah, you really don’t Erik! You don’t know what this will do to me having to hear this shit over and over again, when this coulda been mine already.”

Erik’s demeanor softens slightly. “What’re you talkin bout?”

Kimara’s face becomes wet with tears. “It wasn’t this hard, you just don’t know. It could’ve been so damn easy, but you won’t let it.”

Erik looks around out the window. “Where we goin Mara?”

“And you got the nerve to blame the doctors? That’s some bullshit nigga, real fucking bullshit.” Kimara stamps on the brake when she reaches the outside of the Korean BBQ place. “Get your damn car! I’m going for a drive, don’t wait up.”

Erik looks at Kimara with concern. “Mara, that’s my bad about the doctor. I just-”

Kimara clicks the unlock button. “Get out Erik!”

Part 5

Masterlist

Ragtag

@chaneajoyyy @sarcastic-sunshines @muse-of-mbaku@dameshaemonique @fonville-designs@destinio1@bakarisangel @wakanda-inspired@klaine15689 @savageiz @nickidub718@yoyolovesbucky @alexundefined @forbeautyandlife @bakarisangel

#erik killmonger fanfic #erik killmonger x black!oc #shakafic #black panther fic #fanfic #will the bell ring

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lanamemories · 5 years

Text

hLO itsa me nai-io!!!!! (read shrieked in a high voice like mario if he buckled his dungarees too tight around the crotch)...... im sad i missed opening bt i had a pretty busy past 2 days so i didn’t hav any chance at all to b online bc i ws staying at a friends bt. anyway. excited to b here nw regardless of my Fashionably Late entrance. i’m 22 n live in manchester (the u freakin k Bay Bee) n cackle a little too mch like a witch fr supernatural suspicions nt to arise. thts all u rly need to kno. like this or hmu fr plots!!

p.s. this is her pinterest for those of u tht like tht kind of thing

「 bridget satterlee. cis-female. 」have you seen lana jameson around yet? i hear SHE decided to be in ALPHA NU for their JUNIOR year as a DANCE major. the 21 year old SHEEP is known to be vivacious, alluring, childish and impulsive. ➨ the muse is written by nai. she is 22, in the gmt.

some random aesthetics: a red water pistol topped up with caribbean rum and covered in stickers of cartoon pin up girls, a vinyl record whirring silently because you got too distracted by a stranger’s hands to reach over and flip sides, giant inflatable flamingos floating in the aftermath of a pool party, smudgy lipstick kisses left like an autograph on someone else’s mirror, seventies platforms covered in bowie inspired lightening stripes, fanning the flush in your cheeks with a bright red flamenco fan in the back of a crowded lecture hall, michelangelo reminiscent statures clasping at their stone in suggestive places, bopping stranger’s on the forehead with heart shaped lollipops, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘SCRAPPY DOO IS A FILTHY SLUT’, lighting a paper lantern and saying “aw, how pretty,” only for the whole party to shriek as it crashes into a children’s tent in the next garden over, a ball point pen that turns a woman naked when you click up the nib, cackling so ferociously that you almost throw up and your ribs ache.

ok im a Lay Zee gorl n dnt wna waste any mre time redoin lana’s intro so im pastin in her old one so i cn hop right to interactions. the only thing i can think tht needs to b added is the stuff abt danny nielsen (an evil npc of mine bc im a sadist) who recently beat up zeke van doren (full name this is Official feel like im writin a journalist article) bc he found out him n lana slept tgether n her n danny were kind of dating if....u can call his idea of romance tht. danny is in custody nw bt its a whole Thing like.... is prob... known around lockwood bc it ws a pretty intense..... thing tht happened n danny ws quite a popular senior

grew up in a big house in albany, NY, bt also spent time all over the place n was in the city a lot

okay so her mum is an old money socialite / three time campaign model way back when n her dad is a big record label mogul. he owns a label called jameson records n they repped a few big rock bands back in the eighties, altho they’re mostly known for ‘poppy injects’ whose lead singer had a big heroin scandal tht brought down his career. lana p much grew up around musicians snorting lines instead of spooning down cereal fr breakfast n her parents were v much absent her whole life

they’re pretty well off obviously n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. she amassed kind of an instagram following mainly fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects aka lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, flame red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights n glitter used like highlight Everywhere) n bc she’s undeniably very pretty

her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her. it was v clear that she was an accident after her older brother caleb n that even when they just had him alone they weren’t cut out for parenthood. they always kind of jst… ignored her n hoped she’d go away. she had to mke herself microwave meals when she ws only like 12 bc they’d forget to get her anything. once she went like 6 days without her mum even looking her in the eyes once

despite this tho!!! she’s always been insanely close w her brother caleb. he’s her whole world. thts why when he decided to sign up to the army she ws understandably scared bt supported him after initially bein mad tht he ws leavin her all alone. bt then he wound up getting discharged under grounds of severe ptsd when he witnessed his best friend die in an explosion tht took place in a shock raid. caleb returned home n he was never the same n lana kind of felt like he’d died out there too. he’s in n out of hospital a lot n it’s rly hard on her bt she doesn’t tlk abt it to anyone rly

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. jst literally…. knew everyone n everyone definitely knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once. she has this magnetic way abt her tht is kind of hard to find in real life. it’s something ud only rly expect out of a movie character n she like. deliberately puts tht on sort of. kind of.... is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as

she’s always been insatiably spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand stories tht always earn a laugh or a gasp over how ridiculously absurd they r

anyway so after caleb got back he was rly withdrawn n depressed. he shut lana out n was kind of harsh to her a lot of the time, always telling her to leave him alone or pushing her away. it didnt help either tht lana had a rly traumatic experience w some of her dad’s colleagues at the label when she ws 16 n he was away n she cldnt even tell him abt it once he was bk bc of his own traumas. she kind of jst shut it all in n kept it to herself

this obviously?? made her spiral a lot. she was already a girl tht loved sex (she’d only rly done foreplay before tho) but since her trauma it got…. completely out of hand. it got to a point where she couldnt rly go 2 days without it, probably not even 1. her lowest point has probably been scrolling thru craiglist for anonymous encounters n meeting up w strangers on there fr a quick fuck jst for the thrill even tho it’s insanely dangerous n she cld wind up getting herself killed. it’s v clear at this point tht she has a sex addiction whether she’s ever admitted it or not

she also currently? is working as a cam girl. she found this website bc she trawls… porn stuff a lot n she wound up applying to work as one bc she thought it’d b fun n wld earn her some disposal income (even tho she frankly doesn’t need it bc she’s already well off). the guy tht manages all of the girls on the site is kind of suspect n it’s a whole plot i’m gna unravel where it’s actually like the front for a cult or something wild so. stay posted ig. kgjdkgjh

personality/some fun facts: uncontrollably flirty. boundlessly confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n her comedy is sometimes surreal / absurd. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine. always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. her fav book as a child used to b alice in wonderland n she’d fantasise abt having her own little wonderland too where everyone knew her name n asked her things n took her on adventures. at the time it didn’t rly strike her how evident it was tht that was bc she was so lonely. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s strawberry laces or gummy bears or cherry lollipops. she adores david bowie n prince n madonna n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think. wildflowers r her favourites bc they’re the brightest and u can’t buy them. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. i dnt think she’s actually been w anyone she hasn’t cheated on in some form or another

plot ideas: exes tht lana’s fucked over hideously. she’d probably cheat a lot and it’d be a whole…mess. mayb someone tht flipped the switch and cheated on her? a cousin plot cld b fun too. a friend tht lana fel out w bc she slept w their significant other. someone tht’s getting lana into drugs?? she’s kind of impressionable/down for anything so tht’s a likely scenario she’d get into tbh. an unrequited crush!! (either way is cool). someone tht is just hanging out w her/using her bc she has a lot of instagram followers or they want to b signed to her dad’s label. someone in a band!! she’d probably make like penny lane n b their groupie/sleep w them all fgjkshgkh. umm a good influence too mayb? oh and a past summer romance/fling tht cld either have meant a lot or not have meant anything at all. bonus points if both of them hav a diff viewpoint on it. honestly?? anything is fine i cld ramble for days

#wshedintro #ok these tws r kind of intense/in abundance bt. all r only rly briefly touched upon / nt explored in detail #hypersexuality tw #abuse tw #ptsd tw #hospitalisation tw #death tw #grief tw #rape tw #statutory rape tw #drugs tw #mental illness tw #addiction tw #assault tw #whew! feel like i jst unloaded an entire moving truck addin those all on there

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keichanz · 6 years

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Oscurità, amore mio | II

I found my new title!

Previously known as Dalle Ceneri, this story is now titled Oscurità, amore mio which means “Darkness, my love” in Italian. Sooooo many hugs and thanks goes out to my dearest friend and inspiration @sssuperbartola! She’s been immensely helpful with writing this story and I couldn’t do it without her, or @sesshsbae! Thanks you two! <3

Read on AO3.

Dark eyes wide with a something akin to warried shock, Kagome took in the figure standing before her in all his muscled glory, his eyes the color of burnished amber, skin lightly tanned, and his mouth stretched into a wicked grin that did indeed reveal fangs, however they were smaller and definitely not that of the bloodsucker variety.

Kagome opened her mouth. Closed it. Opened it again. “You’re not—”

“Nope,” he said, crossing his arms.

“But you can—”

“Yep.”

She shook her head, utterly confused and yet at the same time—

No. No, she was just confused. She was not impressed. She wasn’t. She wasn’t.

“I don’t under—h-how—”

He sighed, as if deeply troubled, though from what Kagome was getting from his emotional grid, he was more amused than anything. The bastard. “That’s a bit of along story, I’m afraid,” he confessed and then glanced somewhere behind her before cocking a brow. “One, by the looks of it, that you don’t really have the time for.”

She frowned at him and turned around to follow his gaze. “What—son of a bitch!”

Trying and failing to blend in with the gyrating and swaying bodies on the dance floor, the vampire her boss had sent her to eliminate was attempting to make his getaway. If Kagome hadn’t been absolutely certain he was her target, the intense panic that slammed into her when he caught her staring at him instantly gave him away and after that he abandoned all pretenses of stealth and made a mad dash for the exit, shoving humans out of his way and ignoring the indignant shrieks of protest.

Forgetting about the white-haired vampire-but-not, Kagome immediately took off after him, managing to slip between the sea of people more effectively than he had and was out the door in record time. The cold air made her skin pebble but she ignored it as she hiked up her leather skirt and retrieved her Sig, double palming it as she edged along the wall of the pub and peered into the dark alley beside it.

She didn’t see anything, but that meant nothing. Vampires were adapt that concealing their presence, but Kagome knew what to look for, dark eyes skittering around and searching for signs of his hasty escape, mentally reaching out and attempting to glean his location from the faint trail of panic she could still sense.

Cautiously she stepped into the dark ally and inched further down the narrow strip of pavement, taking note of the trash cans, a dumpster and various boxes lined up along the parallel walls of the buildings. The sliver of moonlight helped her see, but it was still dark enough where she had to squint to make out the shape leaning against the dumpster. She kept her gun pointed at it as she stepped closer, but huffed in irritation when it turned out to be a pile of garbage bags.

Scowling, the dark-haired assassin lowered her weapon and thrust a hand through her hair in frustration, cocking a hip and chewing on her bottom lip in contemplation. She knew he wouldn’t have gone very far; she had extensive and accurate knowledge that this particular bloodsucker got his meals in pubs such as the one she just left, and it was the only one open around here for miles. She was positive he would be back; underlying the panic she’d felt as he’d fled had been a gnawing hunger that had been ignored for one day too long and he was weaker than usual as a result, so traveling very far in his condition was unlikely. Right now he was most likely biding his time and waiting until she gave up the chase before returning.

She inwardly snorted. Yeah, fat chance. She’d waited a whole month once before taking down her target; a few hours were nothing.

Grumbling in annoyance, but knowing there wasn’t much she could do at the moment, Kagome holstered her Sig, turned around—and jumped.

“Jesus—what the fuck!”

A fang-bearing grin. “Flattery will get you everywhere, mia bella fenice.”

Ignoring that rather egotistical remark, Kagome’s lips tightened as her hand flew to her left hip. “You have no right,” she hissed and had the fleeting thought to go for her gun, but immediately dismissed it. He was far too close and ten times faster than she; he’d be on her before she could even draw it.

“You gave me the right when you purposely attracted me with that god-awful travesty of a song,” he returned smoothly, giving a careless shrug and Kagome wanted to punch him because she couldn’t even refute that. “I’m certain Tallon rooted around in there as well and found more than he bargained for, which explains his hasty retreat.”

“Tallon?”

He stared at her. “Your target?”

Kagome balked. “You know him?”

He gave another careless shrug. “No, but I’ve seen him around. He frequents this pub.”

She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Only someone who also frequents a pub would say that.”

“I like their breadsticks,” he said blandly by way of explanation, his expression blank.

A vampire that liked breadsticks. Oh good lord she should’ve had a drink when she had the chance.

“I’m not a vampire,” he casually reminded her but Kagome didn’t believe it. Vamps were the only creatures that had the ability to mind read.

Crossing her arms, Kagome quirked a brow at him and asked, voice heavy with skepticism, “Really. Then what are you?”

He smiled at her, catching her off guard and she resisted the urge to inch away. The smile was pleasant enough, but there was an underlying hint that said danger and it made her uneasy.

“I already told you, bella fenice,” he said and his golden eyes grew hooded even as he continued to smile at her. “It’s a long story.”

“Stop calling me that,” she snapped, eyes the color of dark chocolate glaring at him with a veiled fire that threatened to burn him to the bone if he continued to provoke her.

He tilted his head, all innocence, and Kagome barely kept herself from snorting. Vampires were anything but innocent. “It suits you,” he said, racking his gaze down her body and she shuddered despite herself. His grin told her he’d noticed. “You are fiery. Passionate. I felt that a name like ‘phoenix’ would be quite flattering. You don’t like it?”

Kagome glared at him and felt her cheeks heat despite herself.

His grin widened. “Would you prefer something else? Perhaps piccolo gattina? Dolce angelo? Or maybe something more along the lines of bella bonazza.”

She had no idea what that last one meant, but it didn’t matter because going by the way those molten eyes crinkled at the corners and the deep chuckle that reverberated in his chest, it wasn’t an improvement. With every ridiculous name he rattled off Kagome’s jaw clenched even tighter and her hand suddenly itched, wanting to feel the reassuring steel of her gun against her palm while she popped a few silver bullets into the fucker’s forehead.

When still she didn’t answer him, he raised his eyebrows and the smile he gave her that time was downright lethal. “No? Then how about—”

She snapped and spat harshly without thinking, “Kagome! My name is Kagome, you goddamn—”

Kagome froze and the color abruptly drained from her face as her eyes went very large. Her heart beat erratically in her chest as the sense of what she’d just inadvertently done came crashing down upon her and she stumbled backwards as if the realization was an invisible force. Horror and dread roiled through her so strongly she felt sick and she swallowed compulsively as bile rose in her throat, her stomach rolling uncomfortably, her blood turning to ice in her veins, leeching the warmth from her skin and causing her to shiver almost uncontrollably.

The coldness she felt, however, was nothing compared to the deadly chilling smile he gave her then that was at complete odds with the searing heat in those molten amber eyes.

“Ka-go-me,” he purred, sealing her fate, and then he moved so fast Kagome didn’t even register it until her head was suddenly yanked back and two sharp points pressed against the soft flesh where her jaw met her neck. She jerked, but the steel arm around her waist prevented her from escaping and she bit down hard on her lip to stifle the whimper when a hot tongue lashed against her skin.

“You—you tricked me,” she gasped breathlessly, pushing against his chest, hating how her traitorous body reacted to his closeness. Gone now was the previous chill that had blanketed her body after she’d made her foolish mistake and in its place was a raging heat that roared through her with the intensity of a thunderstorm. Her nipples tightened, her muscles clenched in need, and warmth pooled between her legs—all instinctive reactions because she’d foolishly forgotten herself in her anger and irrevocably bound them together tighter than any contract ever could.

All because she’d willingly given a vampire her name and everyone knew that to do so was as good as signing your own death warrant because your life was no longer your own.

“No, mia bella fenice,” he growled against her neck and he heard her breath hitch in her throat. “I didn’t. You gave me your name willingly, and now...” He dragged his fangs along the slender column of her throat, brushing his lips against her thundering pulse and pressing a tender, whisper-soft kiss against the wildly fluttering skin.

Then his grip tightened, a savage growl erupted from his throat, and he snarled, “Now, Kagome, you’re mine.”

He struck and Kagome screamed.

*cackles gleefully* God this is so fun.

Piccolo gattina - little kitten Dolce angelo - sweet angel Bella bonazza - loosely translated “hot stuff.”

Originally I wanted Inuyasha to call her “sugar lips hot tits” but there’s really nothing that translates to those direct words lmao

I | II | III

#Oscurità amore mio #ii #inuyasha #kagome #inukag #supernatural au #fanfiction #keizfanfiction #iM HAVING SO MUCH FUN WITH THIS YOU HAVE NO IDEA LKAJFKLAJHDF;F

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evolutionsvoid · 7 years

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When it comes to dealing with the flora and fauna of the world, many assume that the larger a creature is, the more dangerous they are. Things like dragons, basilisks and wendigos spring to mind when one thinks of the dangers of the wild. I could not say that they are 100% wrong, as there are large beasts that pose quite a threat, but many let the little ones slip by. Not everything needs to be a massive, fire breathing dragon to be threatening. In fact, it is often the smaller, less imposing creatures that end up claiming unwary adventurers in the end. Some little colorful frog or an unassuming wasp that leaves its unwitting victims choking for air with swollen throats. From my experience, it is best that anyone who ventures into the wilds be wary of any strange creature they meet. If you cannot identify it, it is best to keep a distance until you know what its deal is. That usually helps, unless they can lob acid or have lethal gazes. At that point I don't know what to tell you. Of little critters that cause big problems, the Insanipede is a famous case. When originally discovered, this colorful creature dazzled its viewers and was seen as a beautiful, exotic pet. The vibrant colors, interesting patterns and unique antenna shape made for a fascinating looking critter that wealthy buyers loved to show off. No one thought twice about these creatures as they scooped them up and sold them off to rich pet owners. Sure, a few collectors would vanish in the jungles as they sought these centipedes out, but that surely had to be because of jaguars and anacondas, right? No way a foot-long centipede could do anything of that caliber, right? Well, as time went on, people began to realize that the Insanipede (which was not named that at the time) was not as wonderful as they thought.

Living the jungles and rainforests, the Insanipede has to deal with a number of threats and predators. At such a small size, it could easily become a meal for anything with teeth or a beak. To survive in this harsh world, the Insanipede turned to venom. Like other centipedes, they do not use fangs, but rather modified legs to jab into attackers. When threatened, they will flare out their extravagant antenna and raise their heads like cobras. If the opponent dares to come any closer, they will lash out and inject their potent venom. That is when things will turn towards the worst for the victim. The venom of an Insanipede is pretty much famous at this point. Some call it "Madman's Nectar" or "Crazy Juice." This is because the venom of an Insanipede attacks the nervous system of the victim. While other neurotoxins go for paralysis, this one goes a slightly different route. Rather than locking up the body, it seems to overstimulate the nervous system and assault the body with a barrage of erratic signals. Effects from this venom is twitching, seizing, spasms and, above all, uncontrollable laughter. In some parts of the world, some call the "Insanipede" the "Ticklepede" instead, and that is because of this symptom. As if being tickled, the victim will essentially curl up into a ball, fall into spasms and laugh uncontrollably for minutes on end. This is much more brutal and torturous than it sounds, though. When injected with Insanipede venom, there is no stopping the effects or even controlling them. Your entire body will seemingly be hijacked as you thrash about and laugh until your throat is raw. Your chest will burn, your muscles will ache and many receive bruises from smacking their twitching limbs on the environment. After a few minutes, the venom will subside, and the victim will regain control. Even then, lingering effects do occur. Spontaneous bouts of giggling can occur for days on end, and involuntary twitches follow as well. That is if you are in a safe environment. Explorers and collectors who are bitten in the jungles rarely survive long enough to let the effects dwindle. Turns out, being paralyzed by laughter in the middle of a ravenous jungle makes you a pretty good target. I have heard chilling tales of people who were torn to shreds by predators or swallowed whole by massive snakes, all while laughing the entire time. As the craze for these colorful centipedes grew, the more incidents of people being bit did as well. Odd stories of servants finding their masters sprawled on the floor in a fit of giggles came out, which sellers were quick to squash. Since the market was so big, those who sold these creatures wanted these undesired side effects left out of the news. When people began to die from these effects, the truth came out, and the want for these creatures plummeted. Turns out, people don't like having venomous pets slithering about, especially ones that were good at escaping their cages. As the effects of the venom were learned, the name Insanipede was placed on the species, and has remained ever since. No longer a popular pet (except for danger-loving collectors and "edgy" pet owners), the Insanipede gained new love from many different fields. Toxicologists and poison makers were intrigued by the effects, and wished to learn more about it. Others found use for it in assassinations and defamation. It is especially popular when one wishes to falsely accuse someone of insanity. A famous case that exemplifies this was when a rich baron wished to remove a troublesome wife without any harm to his reputation. As his wife spent his fortune on jewels, dresses and robes, he began to spread stories that she was a woman obsessed. Rumors that she was secretly crazy, and that he worried for her safety. No one would lock her up just on words alone, but a few subtle injections of Insanipede venom by goons during a grand ball did the trick. The cackling woman broke down before the whole crowd, and medics rushed to cart her away. The baron played the concerned, grieving husband, until his stash of Insanipedes were found by the authorities. Another use of Insanipede venom is in the field of recreational drugs. Combing it with certain liquids allows the effects to be downplayed, but still cause stimulation in the nerves. The tickling sensation it causes has been enjoyed by certain drug users, and the moniker "Crazy Juice" goes well with it. At this point I feel that I should point out that multiple doses of the venom can cause irreparable damage to the nerves and brain. A single bite, or a few stretched over the years will do nothing, but those who indulge in its effects constantly may find the symptoms lasting much, much longer. Just a warning to those who may find "Crazy Juice" as a fun time. It's all fun and games until your legs don't stop twitching. Lastly, to go with this, is the answer to the question that many have asked me: Have you ever been bitten by one? It goes in line with the study of stinging insects and animals that cause strange effects to the body. Many just have to ask if you ever felt its effects, which is one many natural historians have indeed answered with "yes." I don't know how I could truly describe it, but there is some morbid curiosity that comes with studying such creatures. When dealing with stinging wasps or venomous ants, you just have to wonder "how does it feel?" Of course I am not talking about creatures that could kill you with a sting, I am speaking of those who simply cause pain or strange (and non-permanent) effects. I already know some are wondering "why on earth would you be curious about that?!" but many have indulged in this very curiosity. Some natural historians I know have even begun constructing a pain index based on all the different stinging insects they have encountered! They actually try measuring it! So you see? It is not that weird! So when you ask, have I been bitten, I will actually have to say.....yes. I assure you that I was in no danger at the time, I was actually at the house of a colleague at the time. They focused their research on jungle based species and the rich diversity that grew within those green worlds. I had been staying at his place at the time, having recently arrived in the area to do my own studying. While we were chatting, the subject of the Insanipede came up and he had asked me if I had ever been bitten. I had told him "no," and he asked if I wanted to, which threw me for quite the loop! I, at first, was confused at the proposition, but he assured me that there was no danger. Insanipede bites only last for a few minutes, and do not cause damage if in a safe environment and spaced out properly. He had been bitten some time before, and talked about how strange the experience was. It surely was uncomfortable, but he claimed that it satisfied a bizarre curiosity he didn't realize he even had. I still jokingly curse him about this, but his talking began to infect me with that same curiosity! Surely I wouldn't want something like that to happen to me, but what would it feel like? I couldn't help but wonder at its effects, and before I knew it, I accepted his offer. Who knows what was I was thinking at the time, but I just had to see for myself. We went into his study, where he had an Insanipede somewhere in his large collection of jungle insects. Finding a safe place for this experiment to occur, he carefully removed the specimen and placed it on my arm. With some goading, the Insanipede bit me, and was quickly removed by my friend. He sealed it back in its tank and watched over me as the effects kicked in. At first, nothing happened. As the second ticked by, I assumed that my plant biology was immune to its effects. That had to be the case. That was, until, my arm started to twitch, and I started to feel an itchy sensation spread throughout my body. My arm began to shake, and pin pricks seemed jab into all parts of my body. My colleague caught me as my legs gave out, and he carefully laid me on the floor. Then the spasms kicked in, my whole body heaving and shuddering as every fiber of my being flipped out. Suddenly a giggle escaped my throat. I knew that the venom did this, so I tried my best to suppress the coming laughter. My efforts did absolutely nothing. Before I even realized it, I was laughing my cap off and had zero control over it. I was just shaking on the floor, cackling like a madwoman, and I was powerless to stop it. Even as my chest started to burn and I started gasping for air, I just kept laughing and laughing. It was kind of creepy, that feeling. I always imagined that this was what it would feel like if I was possessed. No control, no power, but yet, your body keeps moving and your voice keeps speaking. I felt trapped in my own bark, unable to regain control of this runaway cart. Then, it began to fade, thankfully. When I regained control, my limbs were sore and I was having a hard time catching my breath. There was no real, horrible pain, just the uncomfortable sensation that clung to me. I had to deal with an occasional twitch for the next few days, and I think I spooked some locals when I suddenly started giggling in the middle of the market. In the end, though, it was not an experience I regretted. Like he said, it fulfilled a curiosity I didn't know I had. So when someone asks what it feels like, I can describe it quite well! If someone asks if I would choose to be bitten again, I would quite confidently say NO! I am curious, not stupid. Chlora Myron Dryad Natural Historian

#centipede #monster #creature #art #drawing #insanity #insanipede

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ursamin-blog · 7 years

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the giving tree

pairing | vhope

genre | ??? cheese

word count | 2665

description | Hoseok has anxiety. Taehyung is a dickhead with good intentions.

Hoseok worried too much. He rambled on with little coherency, wildly gesturing as he jumped from one worry to the next. It was hard for Taehyung to keep up with, and that was coming from the master of inhibited expression. With a tired sigh he joined the boy on the bottom bunk. Casually he cracked his joints, stiff from a long day of sitting in classroom after classroom. Sometimes it was hard to keep up with the rigorous curriculum of the academy. His roommate often fell victim to the stress of such an environment. Taehyung took it upon himself to make sure Hoseok never felt too overwhelmed that it damaged his health and happiness.

Seeing Hoseok sad was like watching the sun drop out of the sky. Suffice to say it was something didn't find pleasure in witnessing. In fact, the first time he had ever seen Hoseok cry his insides coiled within him making him sick enough to feel the need to barf. Then again they had both had been dared moments before to take shots of vodka and Taehyung found the taste hellish. Hoseok had quote, "wished for the sweet release of death but had to take the beating to keep his reputation as a man." That hadn't worked out to well because he turned out to be a lightweight and extremely touchy-feely when under the influence. On their way back to the dormitories he had tried to serenade one of their teacher's cats and had broken down when the cat scampered away. His roommate had drunkenly sobbed about how lonely and neglected he felt and they both shared a heart to heart as they watched The Lion King at Hoseok's insistence.

From then on out, after seeing how delicate Hoseok's mental state really was, Taehyung grew to be fiercely protective of his feelings and health. Classmates jokingly dubbed him his roommate's guard dog. They weren't exactly wrong. If anyone wanted to mess with Hoseok he would jump their asses so quick they wouldn't know what hit them until they woke up in the hospital. Taehyung was usually a peaceful dude but something about someone hurting Hoseok got him riled up enough to want beat them bloody. The feeling was kind of terrifying. Mostly he channeled his uncharacteristic anger into energy to scold Hoseok for losing sleep to write a paper or forgetting a meal.

Taehyung draped himself across Hoseok's lap and gently caressed his bouncing knee. He looked up and observed the boy worrying his lip so much he was almost sure he was trying to eat it. A hum tickled the back of his throat as he latched onto his roommate's hand and rubbed circles into his golden skin, hoping to ebb away some of the anxiety caged within him. "Why aren't you asleep?" His voice came out groggy and rough with weariness, having just been woken up by Hoseok's frantic shaking and rambling.

For second, Hoseok scrunched his features up in a funny face, appearing almost surprised to hear his voice. Then the anxious babbling returned in full force, "Well, for starters, I'm kinda panicking? It's hard to get a wink of sleep when it feels like your lungs are about to cave in on themselves. Then there's the cause for my panic. Have you ever tried to memorize a speech and write a fifteen page paper all at once? It's not fun, let me tell you, I'd rather chug a carton of bleach than do that shit but since it's due tomorrow and if I don't wanna fail junior year I have to. Which fucking sucks. I just wanna sleep. But I can't!"

By now a frown had set into Taehyung's face as he drank in Hoseok's words, which were coated with a grief that was abnormal for the boy. There wasn't much he could do or say to comfort him as his words rang true, he had to get this done. If he didn't there would be consequences. However, if he continued on without eating and sleeping then the longterm effects could be much worse. A light bulb flickered on in Taehyung's head and with a tug of his roommate's hand he brought them to their feet. "We're going on a field trip."

Hoseok didn't seem fond of this idea and crossed his arms over his chest, "Tae, we'll get caught."

"Yeah, right," he snorted, "the RA wouldn't report either of us, hell, I could probably shove weed up my ass and she wouldn't even blink an eye. Now, come on, put on your coat."

After Hoseok shrugged on his coat (which was actually Taehyung's but he didn't comment), he turned to the door and leaned against it with a pout souring his face. "Where are we going?"

Taehyung opened the window with a grunt and then tilted his head back to send Hoseok a wink, "It's a surprise."

Singing a merry tune he was forced to sing in chorus he swung his legs over the window ledge. Thank God, they lived on the second floor or the vertigo he would have had to face would've been enough to make him sick. Heights weren't particularly terrifying to Taehyung but there are certain times when you get high enough that any sane person would feel uneasy. Hoseok on the other hand, well, he couldn't even handle the steep staircase in the chapel. When he face his roommate again he knew he was in for the time of his life trying the coerce the other boy to even sit in the windowsill let alone shimmy his way over and down the tree situated right next to their dorm.

"No," was Hoseok's immediate answer when Taehyung waved him over. He had visibly paled just watching his roommate dangle over the edge of the window, nearly tipping over into the abyss of the night.

A sigh departed Taehyung's lips, "If you don't face your fears your going to be stuck in the same spot forever."

"You know what I don't wanna face? A trip to the ER."

Taehyung whipped out his own pout, his lips drooping into an animated frown and his eyes glossing over as he widened them considerably. This was the look that dubbed him the master negotiator. It wasn't long until Hoseok submitted but that didn't mean he wasn't fully prepared to make his roommate's a living hell by whining the whole time.

"It's cold as balls out here," he groaned as he squeezed in next to Taehyung. Hoseok gazed at the ground for a full five seconds before deciding, "I'm going to be sick."

He made to crawl back into the room but Taehyung snatched his wrist in a vice grip, "Nuh-uh. You're not going anywhere, sweetheart."

"You suck," his roommate said with a hiss.

"And you swallow!" Taehyung cackled as he flung himself onto one of the sturdy branches of the tree and then lifted himself up into a sitting position.

Hoseok wrinkled his nose in disgust, "If I wasn't about to piss myself I would so punch you right now."

"Sure," he smirked, "and you think you look cool when you dance in front of the mirror."

In all honesty he never expected for Hoseok to launch himself across the open night air with a caterwaul. Yet, it wasn't really all that surprising since he also once screamed in the middle of calculus and then keeled over onto the ground and the teacher was in the middle of a lesson, too. He proceeded to keep on squawking in sheer terror as he hung to branch like a possessed sloth. Hysteric laughter erupted from Taehyung's mouth and he had to pinch himself to stop.

"Help me already you douche-canoe!"

"Alright, alright, calm down," he scooted over to Hoseok's trembling form and scooped him into an upright position on top of the branch, which creaked a little under both of their weights. His roommate never left his hold and instead wrapped his arms around Taehyung's waist with a possessive tightness.

"You did that on purpose," he croaked as he nestled his head further into his roommate's chest. Taehyung's breath hitched in his throat as Hoseok's silky mess of hair ticked his Adam's apple. Hoseok exhaled and said with a soft voice that left Taehyung's body feeling weak, "You're a punk, you know that?"

His only answer was to run his hands through his hair, hoping to calm Hoseok's shuttering breaths. "We're going to have to move eventually, y'know."

Hoseok only slammed his eyes shut and squirmed, "No thanks."

Taehyung decided to take a risk, which wasn't anything new really, he once drunk a bottle of hot sauce on a dare. He moved his hands to Hoseok's sides and lightly tickled the bare skin there. A shriek leaves Hoseok and he knocks his head into Taehyung's chin as he tries to escape. Uncontrollable laughter bursts from him as fights his way out of his grip. They both nearly tumble out of the tree but only freeze in their play fight when a window slams open.

"Can you two go be gay somewhere else? Some of us are trying to sleep!" A pissed Min Yoongi glares up at him. Taehyung has to hold in a chuckle as he sees the elder shirtless in bright pink boxers and his hair in complete and utter disarray.

"Get your ass back in bed, Min Yoongi," comes a groggy voice from behind Yoongi, obviously rough and deep with sleep. Taehyung recognizes it as Park Jimin from his chem class.

Yoongi is paralyzed for a moment, face burning with mortification and then he is scrambling to get the window shut. Once they are alone again, the pair erupts into hoots of rambunctious sniggering. Hoseok nearly hurtles them both towards the ground as he slaps his hand against Taehyung's chest like an excited seal. His own laugh is muffled by the fabric of his own coat framed on Hoseok's body as he plummets his face into the other boy's shoulder. The leather of the garment is soaked in the perfume of Hoseok's existence and it's intoxicating. Taehyung inhales the scent of the pine of a Christmas tree and cookies baking in the oven.

"So, the dorms were never haunted after all," Hoseok wheezes out, "turns out Min Yoongi was just getting banged."

"I'm never going to be able to look at him the same way again," he giggles. "How long do you think they've been together?"

Hoseok scrunches up his face as he ponders, "I think I saw them holding hands outside the library a couple week back."

"Can't believe I never noticed," he grouses. Hoseok is really warm, he thinks, his emitted warmth like a fireplace in winter. And he was bright, too. He lit up the whole night around them when he was laughing and especially so when he peered down at Taehyung with a goofy grin. Hoseok could rival the glow of the sun. Can't believe I never noticed.

"What are you? Sherlock Holmes?"

"Might as well be. Who was the one who predicted that Namjoon was going to end up drooling over Jungkook? That's right, me."

Hoseok barks out another laugh and Taehyung revels in it, soaking it up like a flower reaching for rays of sunlight. "Well, riddle me this, Holmes, how are we going to get done from here?"

"That's easy," he hummed, snaking his arms around Hoseok's waist and bringing him closer, "I'll climb down, you'll jump and I'll catch you."

A sharp inhale of breath later and Hoseok was pushing him back with wobbly hands, "That's a shit plan."

"C'mon," Taehyung says with a giggle, "it'll be fun."

"You're out of your mind," he growls and if he wasn't able to identify Hoseok's moods like the suits in a card game, he would've mistaken this for anger. Instead he reads into the slight quake of his arms and the hurried rise and fall of his chest, he spots his eyes which were once warm with mirth drown in panic as he peeks at the ground below.

Taehyung leans forward until their noses are brushing against each other, the contact lighter than the flutter of a butterfly wing, and Hoseok raises his eyes to meet his own and something of a mystery swims within his pupils. "Don't you trust me?"

"You're such a brat," Hoseok replies, breathless. His nails are digging into Taehyung's forearms but he doesn't snap away, not right away.

"I'm going to climb down, now, alright?" Slowly, as if he were metal detaching himself from a magnet, he pries himself free Hoseok's deathly firm grasp.

"Okay," he whimpers slightly and Taehyung regrets ever pulling him out of bed. He just wanted him to get some fresh air to clear his head.

The climb is fairly short, as the tree isn't doesn't tower far above the ground and despite be long-limbed, Taehyung is agile when he needs to be. He sends Hoseok reassuring smiles as he navigates his way through the branches and down the trunk. Hoseok's expression is pained as his fists drive further into the branch he clutches onto and his eyes never leave Taehyung. He gulps when he opens his arms wide, ready to catch him.

"You know, they always do this in movies, and as with most things I assume this is going to end up nothing like the movies."

"You're going to be fine," Taehyung answers with his most soothing shout.

"How do you know?"

"Because I hate seeing bad things happen to you and I'm not about to let them continue to happen."

At this Hoseok manages a shaky smile, "I think I'm going to have to jump now, just so I can hit you for being so cheesy." And that's all it takes for him to let go and fling himself towards Taehyung's awaiting embrace.

Taehyung ends up catching Hoseok, like he promised, but he also falls backwards with a resounding thud followed by a moan of agony. Hoseok's hands find their face to his face and cup it, "Tae? Are you okay? I knew this was a bad idea."

"I hurt. Kiss it better?"

He yelps as Hoseok pinches his ear, "You're going to have to do better than that."

"If you don't kiss me, Jung Hoseok, I swear on all that is holy I will actually die right here and now."

Taehyung is sure he is addicted to the music that is Hoseok's laughter, he never wants it to end. "You're so dramatic. But if you ask nicely, I might reconsider."

"Please?"

And that's all it took. Hoseok drops his lips down on his own and Taehyung shifts so he rests on his lap and his arms are slung around his neck. The kiss isn't as earth-shattering as everyone describes, the wind makes them shiver and the grass is wet with dew underneath them. That doesn't matter though, his lips may be numb but he is warm and he is Hoseok, and that's all he could ever ask for. When they deepen the kiss he doesn't see stars, but Taehyung doesn't mind because he reckons they taste a lot like Hoseok, anyways. They both pull apart, a bit dazed and drunk on each other. Heat blossoms in Taehyung's chest and he thinks this might be the kind of love he read about in fairytales. He knows he would do anything and everything to keep Hoseok safe and happy, even if it meant fighting off a dragon.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

"That was gay."

"Never mind, I take it back. Leave me here to die."

Hoseok shuts him up with a kiss. This time a supernova is born within the cataclysmic rhythm of his heart.

(They end up being caught by the RA. Taehyung forgets to care because they exchange more kisses in detention and he really thinks he might be in love with Jung Hoseok. Fuck.)

#this is my first fic on here #not my first fic but #anyways #vhope #high school au #tw: anxiety #bts fanfic #bts oneshot #this is just them being huge dorks as per usual #read this fluffy bs at your own risk

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shirlleycoyle · 5 years

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The Duchy of the Toe Adam

Part snarky space cult opera, part visionary body horror, and part parody of one particular pillar of science fiction, today’s Terraform is in a bizarre and delightful league of its own. I’ve already said quite enough—let Lincoln Michel, writer, editor, and the author of Upright Beasts, take you on a far flung voyage to a planet where worshipping the wrong appendage can get you killed. -the ed

We were being taken to the duchy of the Toe Adam. We had been captured or, as the Toe Adamites saw it, saved from the clutches of the Nose Adam during the battle. There were many corpses strewn across the purple fields. The body parts of the soldiers had been scattered like asteroids across the dark expanse of dirt.

My first mate, Vivian, had two fingers on her left hand sliced off by laser fire. I’d lost an ear and had a bullet in my side. Aul-Wick, our piscine mechanic, had shouted curses in our comms, then piloted his aquatic globe into the smoke and disappeared.

“Fish-faced coward,” Vivian said, hacking up blood.

From the back of the truck, we watched the surviving Toe Adamites stroll somberly through the fields. They lifted the legs of the fallen and sliced off one toe from each. The toes were placed in a gold rimmed box.

“You’re lucky we found you. The Nose Adamites are monsters,” the Toe Adamite surgeon said as she slurped the bullet out of my torso with a silver hose.

“Is that so?” I grunted.

The surgeon was wearing bright red scrubs. Her eyes were wide and white above the mask. She nodded and her voice got low. “They say that Nose Adam and his followers eat the nostrils of newborn babes. They believe the flesh imbues them the power of God. That’s why their duchy is strewn with tiny bones that lodge in the feet of the faithful.”

“I don’t remember any fucking baby bones,” Vivian said from her surgical table.

“Well, that’s what they say,” the surgeon said dismissively. She slapped a patch on my side, burned it into place. Then she began working on my missing ear.

“Do you Toe Adamites eat the toes of babies?” I asked.

Both surgeons looked up, gasping.

My surgeon shook her scalpel in front of my face. “Don’t say such blasphemy when you meet the Toe Adam. He’s fair, but not forgiving.”

“Eating babies!” the other surgeon yipped. “Who do you take us for? Those swamp dwelling Spine Adamites!”

Coming to this planet had been Aul-Wick’s idea. He’d intercepted a distress call from a religious colony on the surface. They’d arrived centuries ago to create a holy utopia, but now were desperate for food, certain sacred herbs, and lots and lots of weapons. Since we were in debt to two gangsters and three galactic federations, I agreed.

I didn’t know if Aul-Wick was warned about the Toe Adamites and Nose Adamites. He didn’t have toes or noses, only gills and fins, so perhaps it meant nothing to him.

When we breached the atmosphere, our sales pitch was met with a surface to air missile.

The cell the Toe Adamites placed us in was comfortable enough. A small porthole looked out at the dragon vines crawling across the purple fields toward the undulating ocean. I had a bandage over my regrowing ear, and Vivian’s hand was wrapped in a glass medical glove.

“Fucking wankers,” Vivian said. She was hunched in the corner chewing on a nutrient strip. The veins in her cheeks glowed faintly blue with anger.

Vivian’s species had evolved a million light years away from Earth, yet she looked almost exactly human except for her glowing veins and ridged cheekbones. The universe was weird like that.

“Which?” I asked. “The Toe Adamites or the Nose Adamites?”

“All the goddamn Adams,” she said.

Our stress levels were dangerously high, and Vivian suggested we engage in meditative copulation. We humped against the doorway, which was engraved with the profile of the face of the Toe Adam. As far as I could tell, it was identical to the face we’d seen on the banners of the duchy of the Nose Adam.

A Toe Adamist priest in a long crimson robe guided us to the meal hall. He waved over a young boy who placed two bowls of pinkish hunks floating in tan liquid in front of us. There were hard black knobs sticking out of the hunks which I mistook for seeds.

“What’s this crap?” Vivian said.

“These are marinated mobbin toes, a delicacy of this planet. Or at least the closest thing this planet has to a delicacy.”

The toes were sour and surprisingly squishy. I gobbled them down to stop my stomach rumbling. Vivian asked for a second bowl.

“How long have you been living on this planet?” I asked.

“On the Purple After?” The priest fiddled with his engraved staff. “Many generations. Although our generations go by pretty quickly on this planet. It was a paradise when we landed, before the False Adams divided us.”

“What makes you sure your Adam is the right Adam?” Vivian said.

The priest was unperturbed. “The Purple After is the paradise we were promised, made physical by the cosmos. We are walking on sacred ground here. What is the part of man that touches the ground?”

“Depends how he walks,” Vivian said, belching and pulling the black curls of her hair behind her ear.

“The upright man,” the priest said, “walks on his feet. And what is the part of the body that digs into the lord’s dirt? The toe.”

“There’s no Heel Adam I guess?” Vivian said.

“Vivian, please,” I said.

“No,” the priest frowned. “There is only the Toe Adam and the False Adams. That is all there has ever been.”

The Toe Adamites permitted us to wander the compound. The tech was decades out of date. Centuries maybe.

“I want to find out what the hell started this war,” Vivian said. “Let’s find the oldest, gnarliest woman and ask her.”

I rubbed my newly regrown ear. The lobe constantly itched. “Okay, but please let’s try being polite.”

In the pews of the prayer room, we found a shriveled old woman with white hair down to her feet. Vivian knelt beside her, took one hand in hers.

“Grandmother, we are strangers from another land. Can you tell us what started the war between the Nose Adam and the Toe Adam?”

The old woman looked at her, grimaced. “Oh, all dem Adams have always been at war. Least as far as I can recall.”

“All the Adams?” I asked.

“Well, let’s see ‘ere,” the old woman said, counting with her remaining fingers. “Der’s Nose Adam and his bastards in the west. Them Skull Adamites are barricaded by the northern shore. Spine Adam as his duchy in the swamp. And der’s our pure and holy and good and true Adam, the Toe Adam. Right in this blessed duchy.”

“Wow,” I said. “Okay.”

The old lady gave us a weird grin. She leaned forward. Her eyes were wild beneath the wrinkled folds. “There used to be dem Finger Adamites in the hills. Thin and gangly as a pinky they were. We wiped ‘em out right quickly.” She licked her cracked lips and laughed. “Blew up their pod so dey ain’t ever coming back.”

The old lady was cackling uncontrollably now. She was almost falling out of the pew. Vivian and I headed quickly back into the hall.

Vivian’s yellow pupils disappeared, and her head flipped back almost ninety degrees. I ran to brace her. “It’s Aul-Wick,” she said in that gargling voice that still made my spine shiver. Aul-Wick’s telepathic possession was especially painful over long distances. “He wants to speak: Captain Baldwin, Vivian. Good evening. I spent a night hiding in the green river. Several tentacled fish attempted to eat me. The idiots. I zapped them good. The planet’s ground is harsh and sparse, but the rivers are like jungles of monsters. Also, did you see three moons? Pretty neat.” Vivian put her head straight, gagged. “Get. To. Point. Throat. Hurts.” Her head flipped back. Oh fine. Don’t tell us about your day, Aul-Wick. Don’t share common experiences to create a sense of bonding, Aul-Wick.”

“Aul-Wick!” I shouted.

“Fine. I made it back to the ship. Working on repairs. Be here in two days or I’m off this rock alone!”

“Now listen here,” I started, but Vivian’s head was back up straight.

“Ugh. Can’t that fish ever speak through you?” she said, rubbing her throat.

The Toe Adam floated above us on a plush levitating chair. He wore a long red cape that was clasped at the neck with a buckle shaped like intertwined feet. His ceremonial hat was a foot high and his feet were bound in golden sandals. There wasn’t much of his skin exposed, but what I could see was covered in bizarre growths that looked conspicuously like toes.

When he extended one foot, the priest elbowed me and coughed.

“Am I supposed to kiss it?” I said.

“As a heathen you are only permitted to stroke the toe,” the priest whispered loudly.

“Raw deal.” Vivian looked at me and rolled her eyes. She reached out a finger and tapped the nail of the toe of the Toe Adam’s left foot. “Oh wise Adam, thank you for letting me touch your holy hangnail,” she said.

I followed suit.

The Toe Adam regarded us. He was frowning, lips lined with tiny toes. He floated in the stale air of the throne room. “I’m told we saved you from the Nose Adam,” the Toe Adam said. “He would not have been as hospitable as we are.”

The wall of the room was lined with guards holding laser rifles. In the far corner, I saw a gigantic silver pod. It looked like an old-fashioned clone printer.

“What’s the beef you have against this nose guy anyway?” Vivian said.

“The Nose Adamanites are heretics!” the priest screamed.

The Toe Adam sighed, put up a hand for the priest. “The Nose Adam is a lost sheep. My brother, in a sense. I’m hoping I can save him. And I’m hoping that you can help me. My priest says you came here on a ship? Do you have weapons?”

“Oh yeah,” I lied. “Plenty.’

“A whole cargo bay of bombs and rifles,” Vivian chimed in.

The Toe Adam dropped his chair to the ground. He walked toward us, tapping his toe cane against the ground. “If you promise to donate your arms to our holy crusade, I will take you to your ship in the morning.”

“You got a deal,” I said. “Although how will weapons save the Nose Adam?”

The Toe Adam shrugged. The growths on his skin bounced. “He’ll be saved in the afterlife, as all sinners are.”

Vivian succeeded in hacking into the archives using her cybernetic hand. “Look at this Baldwin. These dorks were called the Church of the Purple After before they came here.”

She had the specs of the original mission vessel pulled up. I leaned over her shoulder, pointed at the hologram. “Interesting. They had five clone printers on the ship, for the five aspects of god.”

“Let me guess,” Vivian said. “The toe, the nose, the skull, the spine, and the finger.”

“No, this says the five aspects of god are the orb, the water, the belt, the mountain, and the vapor.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I don’t know, but there is only one Adam listed on the manifest.”

“Son of a bitch!” Vivian said. She gagged. Her neck cracked backwards. “Ship is ready to rip. Come on over you two.”

I ran to hold Vivian in my arms. Lowered her gently to the floor. “Good, we need to get out of here. I think these fanatics murdered their original leader, the first Adam.” Vivian gurgled an agreement.

“Aul-Wick, the Toe Adam is taking us to the ship tomorrow,” I said. “We’ll meet you at the edge of the Frost Forest an hour after first light.”

“Roger. Do you think he’ll buy anything? We still got those spice crates.”

“He’s expecting weapons.”

“We’ve only got three blasters and a couple dozen sonic grenades. They won’t sell for shit!”

“We don’t have to sell them. We just have to shoot him.”

We rode in the Toe Adam’s war tank. It was long and sleek, with turrets at the cuticles. Toe Adam sat at the top, hatch open, his hair swirling in the wind under his war helmet.

“Today, by the grace of indivisible God, we turn the purple planet red with the blood of the heretics!” he shouted. The guards around us cheered.

I was close enough to him now to see that the growths on his skin had tiny nails at the tips.

Our ship was a few hundred yards from the Frost Forest. I could see the branchless fungus trees, their trunks dotted with orange warts instead of leaves, emerging in the distance. The sky was clear and the day was warm. We rolled across the gas flower marshes, gigantic puffs of blue pollen filling the air.

“What the fuck is that thing,” Vivian said, pointing toward a fissure in the ground. At first, I didn’t see anything. But then a two-headed beast pulled itself out of the crack. It was massive, each head as a big a whole man. The creature stood on its hind legs and roared.

“Mawbear!” the driver shouted.

The Toe Adam’s face contorted grotesquely. He looked like he might weep. “No,” he said, weakly.

The creature was about the size of the tank, and looked just as strong. A carpet of brown fur flapped over its thick scales.

“Kill it!” Toe Adam screamed. “Slay the demon!”

“Lord help us,” the high priest muttered, holding his golden toe icon to his lips. “Not again.”

As the Toe Adamites ran toward the mawbear, blasters firing, Vivian wrangled a gun from the high priest’s robes. She told him to spill the beans or she’d spill his bean breakfast across the tank.

In the distance, the Toe Adam’s soldiers flew through the air in bloody arcs.

The Toe Adam was out on the ground, running in the other direction.

“Okay, okay,” the priest said. He finally told us the story.

Long ago, the Church of the Purple After had found a planet that fit the descriptions of the cosmic heaven in their scriptures. They departed on a mission ship, guided by their leader, Adam of the Orb.

Things had gone well, for a while. But after a couple winters the settlers were still having a hard time growing food, and divisions arose. When Adam lead a foraging party, he killed a small mawbear cub not realizing its mother was waiting in the trench.

When the five high priests, Adam of the Orb’s closest advisors, found the corpse of Adam strewn across the ground, each grabbed the closest hunk of their holy leader and sprinted back to their cloning pods. One grabbed a toe, one grabbed a finger, and so on.

Their religion said that each body had a soul, but that the soul could only enter one vessel. They only used their cloning pods on the recently dead. They believed that Adam’s soul would enter the first body cloned. But none of the five sects could agree on who was cloned first.

The Nose Adam, the Toe Adam, the Finger Adam, the Spine Adam, and the Skull Adam and their followers have waged war ever since. When they died, they were cloned to fight again. Each person on the planet had been killed countless times. Their heaven was an eternity of awaking, killing, dying, and awaking again.

This time, the Toe Adamites managed to murder the mawbear. It sunk to the purple fields with a tortured honk. The Toe Adam fired a blaster into the each of the mawbear’s skulls and then led the Toe Adamites in prayer.

They cheered.

Then they moaned.

From the west, the army of the Nose Adamites appeared. They rode on striped mobbins, galloping across the field.

“How did they know we were coming?” the high priest said, hat clenched to his chest. “We have truly been forsaken.”

The Toe Adamites and the Nose Adamites came together in a chorus of shouts, explosions, and screeches.

“Time for us to bolt,” Vivian said. She grabbed my hand and we sprinted toward the forest as the severed body parts fell around us in a macabre rain. Toes, fingers, noses, bones, and teeth splattered on the ground.

I grabbed the reins of a passing mobbin. Its rider had been reduced to two legs and a bloody stump of waist. I pulled off the lower half, and Vivian jumped on. I followed.

We galloped away from the battle. When I looked back, the soldiers had shrunk to the size of their names. Angry people the size of toes and noses, killing each other for a God that, if he existed, was orbiting some other star in some other distant galaxy in the great abyss of space.

When we hopped off the mobbin at the foot of the ship, I looked at Vivian and felt like my heart had been cloned inside my chest.

I kissed Vivian long and hard. She rubbed her hands through my greying hair. Her fingers had mostly grown back. Her cheek veins were pulsing bright red.

“Let’s do it,” I said. “Let’s give up this smuggling life. Buy a little house pod on a quiet planet with a white electric fence and a weathervane in the shape of comet spinning in the wind.”

Vivian looked away. “You sweet man,” she said. A smile curved up her face. “Shut the hell up. I’d rather face down space gangsters and gigantic bears than little children. Plus, we’re robbing the Ice Orbital next month, remember?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Okay. Never mind.”

Vivian laughed.

The ship was in front of us, engines purring.

Aul-Wick greeted us on the ship’s ramp in his floating orb. His scaled face was puffed and nervous.

“This is a little awkward,” he said.

“What’s awkward, Fish Face?” Vivian said.

“Tell us later, Aul-Wick. Let’s get the hell out of here.”

Little bubbles floated out of his gill slits. “I guess my telepathic messages went to all four of you,” he said.

“All four of who?” Vivian said.

But then I saw them. At the top of the ramp, stepping out of the darkness with guns drawn, the Ear Baldwin and the Finger Vivian emerged.

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