#hm! i'm gonna call my shrink

[solitarelee]

Do u ever catch urself doing something so psychologically alarming. Like ur just out here doing something that, from the outside looking in, is wildly concerning? anyway I've been listening to numb little bug on repeat for 24 hours nonstop, staring into the distance and randomly leaking tears

[fanficsandfluff]

Tickletober 2022 - Day 5: Punishment

A/N: Thank you to @softaneasy who requested this one. Truthfully, I do not ship Stony, nor do I like writing the character of Steve Rogers. And I was initially gonna turn this prompt down. But the writing angel/demon living inside me told me to go outside my comfort zone for this Tickletober. So here we are!

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Tony had been acting a bit too snarky at the team meetings nowadays. At first, the crew chalked it up to a bad hair day or waking up on the wrong side of the bed. But after it persisted for three or four meetings, it was clear there was something larger looming over the billionaire philanthropist.

Steve approached Tony after the fifth team meeting where he sent everyone off scoffing, particular Natasha this time. Normally unphased by Tony's words, this meeting's aim had been directed mostly at her.

"Hey," Steve stopped Tony from exiting and they were the only two left in the room, "Do I have to ask?"

"Maybe you do, cap. Be a little more specific."

"Why are you a raving asshole lately?"

The language took Tony by surprise and actually got a grin out of him, "Productivity has been well below average, trying to boost morale by tearing everyone down first, so they can eventually rise together to fight against the stigma. Isn't that was leadership is all about?"

"No, not at all, actually."

"Well, to each their own," Tony then attempted to walk out past Steve, but Captain America gripped onto Tony's shoulder after he passed him and got close enough to the door.

"Tony," Steve sighed, "I know there's more going on here. I'm willing to forgive it all if you just act a little nicer from here on out, hm?"

"We'll see, Rogers," Tony left the room this time, whistling to himself. Steve narrowed his eyes and watched him walk down the hallway, "I'll give you one more chance, Stark."

"And I'll be eagerly awaiting the consequences post said chance," Tony had spun around to deliver his parting remarks and walked backwards for a few paces before turning down a corner.

And another meeting came and went, no changes from Iron Man. This time his target was poor Bruce Banner. Steve bided his time as everyone left the room and even waited for Tony to leave, knowing he was headed for his lab. Tony tended to work on a routine nowadays, so it was easy to track him.

The sliding doors to the lab whooshed open for Steve after he made it downstairs.

"Office hours aren't until tomorrow, sport," Tony chided, readying a pair of goggles and gloves for the work he was about to set out on.

"Oh, I'll be quick. Here to follow up on a threat," Steve was approaching Tony by his work station.

"Threat?" Tony turned around and eyed Steve, "My Captain America doesn't threaten, he moreso saves and leads and throws his little dinner plate around. Oh! You mean about the--"

"Yeah, your punishment, let's call it," Steve was now sporting a grin. The silence between the two hung in the air a few beats too long, and it was long enough for Tony's own smug look to be wiped from his face.

"Wait--" was the only thing he could get out before Steve pinned him against his own work table, high enough for the edge of the table to be caught in the small of Tony's back.

"Jesus, cap, at least take me out to dinner fi-hirst," an unwanted giggle slipped its way out of Tony's lips when he felt thick fingers prodding into his ribs.

"Do you ever stop talking?" Steve asked Tony, wanting to sound exasperated but it mostly came out teasing, with a small smile still on his face. His fingers dug right in, not playing games. This was a punishment, after all, for Tony's constant being a dick to everyone.

Tony yelped and he wanted to shrink down to the floor but Steve's strength and superior girth kept Tony upright. He laughed against his will and it was loud laughter because god dammit Steve knew how to tickle.

"Fuhucking stop!" Tony begged, his hands tightening onto Steve's wrists but was unable to stop their path. Steve worked his hands down until the thumbs dug into the crevices of Tony's hips, mostly exposed due to his low-rise pants. Tony screamed and he did manage to collapse halfway, so Steve's hands had to stop tickling him there, thank god. But now Steve pulled one of Tony's arms up, easy enough since the billionaire hadn't let go of his wrist yet, and pinned that hand to the table.

"N-nno," Tony protested, "No, Rogers, don't. Don't do it."

"Don't do what? Get under here?" he fluttered the fingers of his free hand under Tony's arm, which was now wide open.

"SHIHIhiiiit! You bastard!" Tony growled, stomping his foot on the floor, "Lemme go! Let me go right now!"

"You're in no position to be making threats now, Stark," Steve smirked and he used all the force of his fingertips to dig in and around Tony's armpit, partially exposed to the elements because of the very short sleeve shirt Tony was wearing. Not quite a tank top, but tight enough to leave a space for skin-to-skin touches.

Tony laughed, throwing his head back as his other hand came up to try and ward off Steve's fingers. But he was laughing so hard his coordination was off.

"I'm gonna get you to apologize to everyone," Steve spoke about serious matters as if he wasn't literally tickling his friend and coworker to near death, "And you're not gonna take out whatever shit you got going on on the team."

"OkAY! OKAY!" Tony agreed immediately.

Steve rose a brow and he smirked, "I didn't think you'd cave that quickly. When am I supposed to deliver my big speech?" he pulled Tony until he was standing again and he now rested both his hands on either side of Tony's stomach.

"Plehehease no," Tony giggled and it was almost cute. Hands were at Steve's wrists once more, waiting for the inevitable.

"I have to. This isn't a real punishment if I don't get the worst spot on you," Steve smiled once more, a bigger, brighter one this time. And both hands wreaked havoc on Tony's belly. One hand vibrated its claw shape right in the middle and the other slipped under said tight shirt that had already risen up and was scratching at the tender skin across Tony's waistband.

Now Tony really did scream. His laughter rung out loud and clear and his arms couldn't do a thing. He tried hunching forward, falling to the floor, considered head-butting Steve for a hot second there, but nothing came to fruition. Tony laughed so hard he snorted as Steve's fingers finally lifted off his very ticklish torso.

"Gohohod," Tony snorted again and he hated it, "You're even more of an asshole than me, old man," he was breathing heavily, wiping sweat from his brow. He watched as Steve was walking out of his lab.

"Maybe you just needed a little lightening of your spirits," Steve said in return and before he got in the elevator to go back upstairs, he added, "I hope you've learned your lesson."

Tony gave Steve a thumbs up followed by a very pronounced middle finger. Steve laughed as the elevator doors closed and Tony huffed out a chuckle. Maybe he did need that. Hm, tickle punishment works. Who knew?

[cevansbrat0007]

Are there ever times that Andy is out with the girls and because of narrow minded people they do not think the girls are his? What happens does it hurt the girls feeling and what about Andy how does it make him feel?

I love your questions, @writer84. They are also a great distraction from the task at hand: updating the Growing Pains Masterlist. I'm so far behind that it has become quite the ordeal, but I'm making serious headway.

Anyways... So, I've had this thought before. I've also seen it played out on ABC's What Would You Do? That's my show. Here's how I see it:

Also, you can read an alternative version here. We’re talking a completely different scenario. This one might be a little more satisfying to some: Friendly Ignorance.

___

Coffee Shop Creeps

Summary: Andy takes a day off to spend with his girls, only to have it interrupted by an ignorant lady who is concerned by the fact that he is white and his daughters are not.

Warnings: Ignorance, Nervous BiBi and KitCat, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: For @writer84. Boy this got a little longer than I intended. Not proofread. I'll come back and do that later. Hopefully, you'll get the gist.

___

Andy and his girls are sitting in a local coffee shop enjoying some much needed father daughter time. His eight-year-old Bianca was sipping on a hot cocoa, while his four-year-old Katrina was enjoying Raspberry Pear Blossom iced tea. As for him, he had ordered a hazelnut latte with whipped cream.

Life was good.

He'd decided to take the day off today to hang with two of his three favorite girls, and he didn't regret it for a moment. He always wanted to spend more time with them, especially now that they were both on summer vacation.

"Alright, ladies. Where to next? What do we want for lunch, hm?"

"Can we got to that one sandwich place you took us too last time? Remember KitCat?" His little one thinks hard.

"Oh yeah! Dat one - wif' dah big pickles!"

"Yep, that's the one."

Both his girls loved pickles. They could eat them straight out of the jar, just like their mother. Meanwhile, he could take 'em or leave 'em.

"So you want to go to Francine's? Okay. Fine by me ladies. Are you two almost done with your drinks?"

His BiBi looks up from her mug, sporting a chocolate mustache. "I think so. Sissy?"

That was also something he loved. His girls still called each other "sissy". Oftentimes without even realizing it.

"Yep." KitCat nods. "Couple more sips."

"Okay, well, Daddy's gonna go to the potty. You two don't move." He points at them both and pins them with a look. Both girls playfully shrink back and put their palms up, pretending to cower against one another.

"And keep it that way." Andy playfully growls.

Little did he know that there was a woman across the shop that had taken a key interest in the little family. And she was biding her time for the large man to leave.

The moment he's gone, she is up and moving.

"Hi sweethearts." The strange woman whispers as she crouches down by their table. Immediately, both girls gravitate towards one another, holding hands under the table.

"Oh, no need to be afraid." She whispers, putting her hand on KitCat's little shoulder. Bianca is quick to almost pull her little sister into her lap.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm not here to scare you. I just wanted to know if you knew that man? The man that was with you?"

Both girls stare at each other, knowing better than to talk to strangers.

"Are you...are you safe?" She whispers. "Do you need me to get you out of here so we can call someone?" Both girls shake their heads "no".

"He doesn't look like your father. Can you tell me who he is? Do you know? Where's your mother?"

Gathering her courage while still clutching Katrina, Bianca looks at the lady and simply says "go away, please".

"Oh, he's got you scared. I could see from over there how scared he had you. The way you cowered, the way you -" She's cut off when Andy emerges from the bathroom.

He immediately takes in the situation. The strange woman, his nervous girls, and then he sees red.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" He asks through clenched teeth. "Why the hell are you talking to them, especially without me present?"

"Because I believe these girls are in danger." She tells him confidently.

"What danger? I'm their father." Andy tells her, his jaw going slack.

"Hah! Right. You look nothing like them, and they look nothing like you. I'm going to get someone to call 911 while I take care of these girls."

"Daddy, can we go please?" Bianca begs. "She tried to touch KitCat."

"Why don't she think you Daddy? You is always been Daddy." Katrina whimpers.

"You're scaring my girls." Andy growls. "And I don't take too kindly to those who scare my girls, man or woman. These are my babies. I was there when they were conceived. I was there while my wife carried them. I was there in the delivery room when she gave birth. I cut their goddamned cords. I changed their diapers, fed them, burped them. Our skin colors may not neccesarily match, but they are mine in every way. Who the hell do you think you are, you ignorant ass woman?"

He helps the girls from their seats and places them safely behind him. "You know, you're really lucky my wife isn't here right now, otherwise she would've shoved your face under the espresso machine."

And the thing is, he wasn't lying.

"Let's go, girls. Hold my hands please." He tells them.

"I am still not comfortable with you -"

"Hold on ladies." He growls, barely holding on to his patience.

"You got a concern about what you see here, you give my office a call." He pulls out a business card and throws it at her.

"Now, where were we ladies?"

END

[aphroditesmoon]

sweet creature

legolas greenleaf x gimli son of gloin

summary: gimli taking care of injured legolas<3

warnings: established relationship, gore, blood, orcs.

a/n; I hope you guys like this (⁠θ⁠‿⁠θ⁠)

°°°

Elves do not get sick, for they're immortal, but that doesn't mean they don't bleed when large orc teeth have bitten their appendix.

Legolas' bow drops from his grasp as the orc starts to tear him apart. It doesn't get too far in when Aragorn's sword meets their calves.

The orc screamed out in pain and cursed the Elessir heir as he stabs the orc directly into it's chest. Yelling in anger, the orc turned to try and hold Aragorn in it's bloody position, but proved too late as his hand falls off to the ground, cut off by Gimli's axe.

Legolas falls to the ground in a loud thump, and the last thing he hears is Gimli's voice screaming for him to stay awake.

°°°

He wakes up with a jolt, and in an instant, hands hold him down by his shoulder, and Gimli's face comes into view. "Gimli-" He breathed out, then wincing at a sharp pain on his abdomen.

"Watch it now laddie, no need to get up. You're too hurt" He interjects as he helped Legolas lie back down.

One of his hands that were holding Legolas' doesn't leave him, and instead the grip only tightens. "How long- ow- hpow long have I been unconscious?" He managed. Gimli looks sympathetic as he responds; "Three days."

Legolas sighed and squeezed his eyes shut before reopening them to find the dwarf's unwavering gaze.

"We thought we were gonna lose you there for a while, elf." He stated gently. Legolas succeeds in a short smile as he shook his head. "Never getting rid of me that easily."

Gimli grinned and his eyes twinkled. "Aye, even if you died, I'd reckon you'd come back to haunt me, eh?" That made Legolas chuckle lowly as he squeezes Gimli's hand.

Legolas feels his stomach shrinks around the bandage and his belly growled loudly, making him turn beet red as the dwarf's eyes widen.

"Three days of no food in your system, I'm suprise it took this long for your insides to get upset, well worry not- I got just the meal!" He exclaims, jumping off his seat and walking to the kitchen.

The prince smiles to himself as he watches Gimli's short form rummaging around the counter, it seemed he has already prepared the food, only heating it up is left.

Legolas lifts up his shirt gently to see the wound that was fortunately already wrapped up, but he could see a large patch of blood againts the wife bandage and winced at the memories of what had caused it.

"My dear, be honest, how bad is it?" He calls out to Gimli. He hears an 'hm?' as a response and repeated the question.

"How bad are my injuries?"

Gimli let out a grim chuckle as he walks back with a bowl of familiar delicious smell.

"Bad enough for you to pass out for three days, tis' not bad enough for you?" He teases as he sits closer to Legolas.

The elf chuckles but it was cut short as he moans at the smell of the food. "Pumpkin soup?"

"Aye, and some sausages, don't eat too fast, we don't want you to clog the bathroom hm." Legolas nods indifferently as he reaches for the soup.

"Sodding elf-wait! Gimli scolds as Legolas' hands slip from the bowl and it almost falls if not for Gimli catching it.

"You're barely strong enough to sit up without flinching you leaf muncher, I'm feeding you- no arguments." The dwarf huffs, straining against a smile as he glares at Legolas who's grinning sheepishly at him.

"Sorry, I'm quite famished." He explained.

Gimli's eyes soften and he nods understandingly as he lifts the spoon to the elfling's mouth.

Happily Legolas accepts the food inside his stomach like a babe being fed by it's mother.

"Mm- om- Thith ith ttho gewd." He mumbled mouthful of soup and pumpkin slices.

"Don't talk while eating." Gimly chastised, though his heart warmed at the compliment.

Legolas lets his partner babies him through his healing, reveling in every bit of attention and affection his lover spares him, and Gimli, as much as nags at him like a mother, is grateful that he gets to nurse his elf back to health, thinking of all the times Legolas has taken it upon himself to protect and take care of him too.

[countrymusicjunkiekd]

No More Sun

If you haven't watched dthe Sun and Moon show yet, well check it out, it's really good. It's on YT.

Spoilers

Just. One. More. Bottle.

"I promise Moon...just one more bottle,"

"Sun, there's like 10 bottles here! They're all empty. Look I know wer aanimations, but 10 seems like a bit much,"

"It's fine..."

"Sun...I don't knwo how long I'll be gone while I'm talking to old me...I don't want to leave you alone when you like this,"

The warmth is impossible to give up

"I'll be ok, you just, go talk to old you..."

I need something to make these thoughts stop

"Call Earth if you feel like...you can't be alone. Brother, promise me you'll call Earth,"

I can't do this any more

"I promise Moon, now you just give figure out what ever your going to figure out,"

Why can't I be smart like Moon

"I love you Sun,"

I don't love me

"Love you too Moon,"

"Ill be back in a few hours"

"Ok..."

I'm already dead inside...a few more bottles won't hurt.

Everything had gone to SHIT!

Solar gone....another bottle gone

We still don't knwo what to do with ruin or Blood moon....Empty bottle...

Eclipse is still here....13 more empty bottles

Our Fucking crator causing chaos...Tears?...I can cry?

The Astral body's are gonna come for Lunar....I...I can't do this....I need more

Everyone's dies but me...I'm next aren't i...where the rest of the bottles.

"FUCK!" I hit my knees and start crying, I double over, touching my face plate to the floor

My rays are retracted...I can't help it.

"ILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH!"

I need more. I need MORE

I open the cabinet and find about 50 more bottles....it's not enough

Bottle after bottle....

I look back to see there's only 5 left. I feel woozy now...but I need more.

I can down them all...if I mess myslef uo...maybe it's for the better.

We've both been through so much...Moon isn't even the Moon I separated from....If we just stayed as one, Eclipse would've never happned.

I finally stood up and looked around....there's bottles everywhere.

I miss Solar...I need more

I have no more

"Hey kittie...."

"Merow,"

"I'm sorry...let's go to bed, or just lay in bed,"

I need to call Earth

I don't want to be alone right now.

☆Earth☆

"18....19....20! Ready or not! Here I come!"

"Be careful, Lunar,"

"It's hide and seek...how would I hurt myslef?"

"I done know...being...protective. Oh! Sun's calling!"

"Hey Sun! Me and Lunar were just playing with the Deer thing,"

"Deer thing?"

"Oh ya, we didn't tell you, so-"

"Earth, I need you to come here...please,"

"Sun...Sun are you ok?"

"....No...."

"Ill be right over. Lunar!!! We have to go!!!"

~°~°~°~°~°~

"Why's the door open..."

"Uh..."

"Let me go In first lunar....SUN!!!!"

"Uh...Earth...thers bottles...everywhere,"

☆Sun☆

"SUN!!!!!"

"I'm in my room....under the covers,"

I hear them scurring to my room

"Why is your door open?!?! I was about ot yell, 'ITS THE POLICE'"

"What? The cats are just out,"

"Oh ok...so first of all...what's wrong Sun, hold on...lemme shrink down,"

"Sun? Why are there like...300 bottles in the kitchen, and why are they all empty,"

"I..." I pull the blankets closer, "I may have had a break down..."

"SUN DID YOU DRINK ALL THOSE BOTTLES!!! WHAT HAPPNED TO DRINKING TEA!!!"

I've never heard Earth yell that loud befor. I started crying again.

"I'm sorry..."

"I'm sorry...I shouldn't yell, Sun tell me what's wrong,"

"Do you want me to leave? I'll go find the cats,"

"Please stay Lunar, I need you both,"

Earth looked so concerned

This is my fault...she's concerned because of me

"I just can't handle it anymore. Everything hurts. I miss Solar, I feel like I'm a disappointment and ...and...and-"

"Sun calm down...how about you write a list of what's hurting right now hm? Lunar could you find soem paper?"

"Mkay"

"Sit up Sun? Let's get you more comfortable,"

Earth threw a couple more blankets around me and Lunar came running in with paper and a pen, he climbed on the bed and sat on my legs.

"I have, delivered the paper,"

"Good job Lunar,"

~°~°~°~°~°~

"That's alot Sun...I'm sorry your feeling like this,"

"I could honestly use a distraction..."

Lunar was alseep on my legs, that made me feel a little better.

"Oooo how about I tell you about Dazzle!?!"

"The deer?"

"Yeah, so she's of course liek a deer, we think it's her endo skeleton,"

"Aprently she was supposed to be ghe original DJ music man or something,"

Didn't know Lunar was still awake.

"Yeah, she acted kinda like a child, barely able to say her own name,"

"Are they at least nice?"

"It seemed like she was, she only wanted friends to play with really....Sun you should sleep, Moon will be back soon. Me and Lunar will stay right here,"

"I guess ima bit tired,"

"Good night sun,"

"Night Earth...night Lunar,"

"Night, Night,"

Ya knwo what? Imma make this a 2 parter, stay tuned

[mypoisonedvine]

𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗨𝗞𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 || dark!jan (the edukators/die fetten Jahre sind vorbei) x reader

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬 | in scoping out his next target, jan hadn't realised that you wouldn't be joining your family on their next vacation; in choosing to stay home, you hadn't realised what you were in for.

𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧 | 4.3k

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 | smut (noncon, with fingering and penetrative sex), innocence kink, virginity loss/first time, brief exhibitionism, degradation, daddy kink, spitting (in mouth and on pussy), breaking and entering/home invasion, touch of misogyny kink, slight objectification kink (petnames like babydoll/dolly being 99% of this), slight bleeding (from sex specifically), death mention (no threats, just the fear of threats if that makes sense?)

𝗔/𝗡 | you don't need to have seen the movie to understand this fic, as long as you know that jan and his friends break into rich people's houses as part of their anti-capitalist rebellion. note that the vast majority of dialogue is written in english for simplicity, but that these conversations would actually take place fully in german.

this is a DARK fic, if you hit 'keep reading' I don't wanna hear you upset about content listed clearly in the warnings section

It’s probably normal to hear a bump in the night, to wake up and be a little freaked out, but to ultimately just stay in bed and not do anything about it. At first you were sure you were sure it was nothing, though your gut told you otherwise; then, as you heard more and more you spent quite some time convincing yourself that it was just pipes creaking or the foundation settling. But the thing about pipes and foundations is they don’t speak German.

“Hier entlang, hier entlang,” someone whispered, and footsteps shifted all along the lower floor.

Maybe you were still asleep, and this was just a strange dream, a terrifying dream. You pulled the blanket up over your head and prayed to wake up, but the denial turned to terror when you heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

You jumped out of bed, but it was too late to go out your bedroom door— you could hear them walking and whispering outside. Your bathroom had a small window, but even if you managed to fit through it you’d be on the second story with no way to ropel down. Maybe in your mind you could be some daring adventurer with the perfect plan to escape, or with the skills to defend yourself with something random you could grab, but you knew better than to really think you could do anything but hide.

As the footsteps and voices got louder, your eyes frantically searched the room and finally landed on the large upright dresser— maybe it was a little obvious, but it had a handy little feature that made it lock from the inside. It had come in handy for a decade of hide-and-seek, and now it would hopefully serve you one last time.

With not a second to spare, you ran over and grabbed the golden handles, swinging the doors open but being careful to shut them quietly after you’d stepped inside and made room for yourself among the coats and dresses. You searched for the lock in the pitch darkness, only able to find it because it was right above the keyhole that glowed from the dim light outside. Just as you turned the knob and heard the metal lock slide inside the wooden door, you heard your bedroom door open.

Someone walked around your room briefly, you even heard them pick something up and set it down— probably your bedside lamp, based on where it was coming from, but you obviously couldn’t be sure and frankly didn’t care that much. Footsteps approached the dresser and you saw the keyhole light up as a flashlight passed over it.

“Let’s take all the clothes and put them in the fireplace,” a voice in the room announced. “We won’t actually light the fireplace, but it sends a message.”

You covered your mouth with your hand to try to keep quiet when the doors shook briefly from an attempt to open them.

“Fuck, it’s locked.”

“Here, you go on to the next room, I’ll pick it,” a second voice decided, and you heard more footsteps as someone else approached the armoire. “Look how fancy the dresser is, they’ve probably got furs in here too— god knows people living in a house like this can’t miss an opportunity to destroy the environment.”

You heard something jiggle inside the keyhole, a clicking noise that went on for just a few moments before you heard the metal slide inside the wood again and the doors slowly opened.

A man, dressed in black and holding a flashlight in his gloved hands, stared at you from behind a mask that left only his brown eyes visible. You both stood still, staring at each other, until he did exactly the last thing you expected: he lifted the mask up to his forehead and showed you his face.

He was a lot younger than you would’ve expected, though he had the scruffy beard of a guy trying to look older; his teeth were slightly crooked when he smiled at you, and when he raised a brow while he gave you a quick look-over, you noticed the way they almost connected in the middle.

Under his gaze, you suddenly felt very aware of how little your lacy, baby pink nightgown protected you from the chilling night air.

"Well, what's this?" he asked coyly as he watched you shiver. "Guess these capitalist pigs left one of their little piglets behind." He put on a cooing sort of voice as he addressed you directly: "Did mummy and daddy leave you all alone while they went on holiday?"

He stepped closer even as you tried to shrink away, examining you carefully.

“Get out of there, silly, what are you hiding for? I’m not gonna hurt you,” he assured, not that you found it especially comforting. When you didn’t step out of your own accord, he grabbed your arm and roughly yanked you forward; he slammed the dresser doors behind you, and you whimpered in fear as he pinned you down against them by each arm. "Shh, hey, don't worry— I'm here to take care of you, you can call me daddy instead until your heartless banker father gets back. Go ahead, tell me what's wrong."

"I—"

"Ah ah," he tutted with a mix of bemusement and disappointment, "I already told you how to address me."

You shuddered but finally responded, "Daddy, I'm scared."

He gave you a demeaning little pout, but you continued.

"Some men broke in and I'm alone and… and I don't know if they want to hurt me."

"No, baby, they don't want to hurt you," he promised with a gentle smile, but it turned horrifically sinister as he leaned in to add with a whisper: "but we will if we have to."

You swallowed thickly, your gut twisting when you felt him breathe out against your neck.

"So you're gonna be a good girl, right?"

You nodded quickly, turning away when he leaned in closer, looking down at you with darkened eyes and running the fingers of his black gloves over the neckline of your pyjamas.

“You were just waiting for me, huh? All tucked in in your cute little nightgown, dressed up like a doll,” he grinned. “I bet you want daddy to play with you, hm?”

He laughed cruelly when you shook your head, fighting harder to get away again as he squeezed your arms tight enough to leave marks where his fingers had been.

“Wanna play, little dolly?” he continued, pressing his body into yours and roughly shoving his leg between your thighs. “I know you do… c'mon and give me a kiss," he requested.

“N-no,” you stammered, but he grabbed your jaw in his gloved hand and forced you to look ahead, slamming his lips onto yours and ignoring your muffled protests. When he pinched your side you gasped instinctively, and he shoved his tongue inside your mouth roughly— but that only lasted for a moment, before you found renewed strength and managed to shove him back. It wasn’t far enough to free yourself, but enough to get a break from the oppressive kiss.

“Aw, don’t be mean,” he pouted, wiping his mouth with the back of his gloved hand. “You said you’d be good for me, remember?”

“Just stop, please,” you whined, gasping before you could stop yourself when he rubbed his thigh up against you— hitting right on your clit which throbbed in spite of everything. Somehow the fear made you more sensitive, or at least something had because you’d never felt quite like this before.

“See? You’re all worked up,” he explained, “I’m gonna help you.”

This time when he leaned in he started to kiss and suck at your neck instead, starting right beneath your ear and moving down slowly until his tongue laved over the crook where your shoulder began. As much as you hated it, it made arousal pulse between your legs where his thigh continued to push hard on you.

When he moved even closer, you could feel his erection against your hip; you didn’t even realise that you’d let out a gasp until you felt him smile against your neck. “Oh, babydoll… you want daddy’s cock inside you, I can tell.”

“N-no, I don’t— just stop,” you begged.

“If only it were so easy, to just ask someone to stop,” he mused. “You know how many times we asked people like your father to stop before they fucked us? You know how far that gets us? You don’t just get to ask nicely, you have to fight for it…”

He chuckled as you writhed in his embrace.

“But you’re too weak to fight, poor thing.”

"Please, I'm not a part of whatever you’re talking about,” you tried to explain, “I don't know much about what Papa does at work—"

"That's your problem, baby, you're blissfully ignorant! Not all of us have that luxury. But the good news is, I'm here to educate you." He pushed up even closer to you, speaking lowly right into your ear with rage starting to bubble up in his voice. "Your father is a piece of scum who feeds on the working class and then robs them blind. You live like this, unquestioningly, and the rest of Germany suffers. Stuck-up bitch like you wouldn't even notice me if you saw me on the street, would you? Wouldn't even give me the time of day, but now you're at my mercy. That’s what you people need to learn: that you’re not gonna be on top forever.”

Suddenly you felt his hand cup your sex through your nightgown, and you choked on your gasp. “No—!” you started to shout, but his right hand covered your mouth as the left hastily pulled your pyjamas up and reached under them.

“Stop fucking squirming,” he grunted as he reached between your kicking legs and slid quickly up your thigh. “Mm, bet you’re hiding a pretty little cunt under this nightgown— hold still, baby, you’re gonna like this.”

Finally maneuvring his way into your panties, he abruptly shoved two gloved fingers inside of you, watching closely as you scrunched your face up tight in discomfort. He thrusted and twisted them around for a bit, carelessly stretching you open as you tried desperately to squirm away; it stung a bit, and the leather of the gloves was cool and awkwardly firm against your walls. For some reason, when he dropped his free hand from your face, you didn’t try to scream again— maybe because you knew no one who cared could hear you— and you just panted heavily instead.

As quickly as he’d pushed them in he pulled them out, bringing the glove up to his mouth to take it off with his teeth with a little growl before rubbing his bare hand over your pussy again. You whimpered when he slid his fingers inside you again, this time feeling the texture of his skin as he curled the pads of his fingers right against your spot. “Yeah?” he mumbled his taunt around the leather between his teeth before spitting the glove out onto the floor. “Fuck, so warm… you’re so wet already, dolly, has nobody been giving this pussy any attention?”

He stopped moving his fingers inside you to pull out and give your clit a few slaps, licking his lips when you cried out from the sharp sensation.

“Huh?” he reminded you to answer when you never gave a response.

“N-no,” you shook your head, finally, and he smiled like he was proud of himself.

“Yeah? You’re not a virgin, are you?”

You only looked down at the floor, blinking a few times as you focused on the teal carpet, and heard him laugh darkly.

“Oh, dolly, I might break you,” he warned roughly as he pushed your gown up to your waist, ignoring your sobbed pleas for him to stop. “We don’t usually take anything from the people we visit, but if I take your virginity maybe your people will finally get the message.”

“Please— you don’t have to do that,” you stammered, rushing through whatever you could think of to make him change his mind, “I won’t tell anyone you were here. You can have whatever you want, if I call them they can send you money—”

“You aren’t even fucking listening to me, we don’t want your expensive bullshit and we don’t want your dirty fucking money!” he corrected sternly, clutching your sleeves tighter and shaking you slightly with the intensity of his movements. “We just want you to be afraid, because the revolution is coming.”

But you were afraid of something much more imminent than a revolution.

“Get on the fucking bed,” he demanded, though you couldn’t do much else considering he was already roughly tossing you onto it, climbing on top of you and pinning you down when you started to crawl back instinctively. With his legs resting on yours and keeping you (somewhat) still, he only needed one hand to grab your shoulders while the other rushed to open his jeans.

Your eyes got a little wide when you saw his cock— before that, it was almost like some part of you didn’t really think he’d go through with his, but now you could see clearly that he was hard and ready… and big enough to make you question how that thing was even supposed to fit inside you.

He tore through your panties like they were paper; he lifted and spread your legs as he sat between them and, much to your humiliation, just stared down at your pussy for a moment. You’d never felt so exposed and it made you feel worse than ever. “Knew you’d have a pretty cunt,” he announced smugly, “can’t wait to see it all stretched out and covered in my come— I’m gonna ruin you, babydoll.”

You weakly struggled as he held your hips down with one hand and haphazardly stroked his cock a few times with the other, rubbing himself over your opening before pulling his hips back to spit right onto your clit. After spreading the improvised lubrication around with his head for a moment, he pushed down on it with his thumb to line up with your hole and, without any further warning, slid inside in one motion.

You bit down on your lip hard, and even that wasn’t enough to distract you from the sting; it felt like he was ripping you open, not to mention going so deep that you could feel him in your stomach.

He groaned loudly, head falling back for a moment as he started to thrust into you. “Fuck, I can tell you’re a virgin— it must be hurting you, huh?”

But the question was a bit redundant, since tears had already begun to stream down your temples and your fingers were clutching tightly onto the sheets beneath you; if they were any less expensive, they probably would’ve ripped.

“Maybe a little pain will be good for you,” he decided with a smirk, “I think a spoiled brat like you has been spared the rod a few too many times.”

It was definitely more than a ‘little’ pain, and it only seemed to sting more each time he pulled back and pushed in again— he wasn’t going very fast, yet, so that was one thing you could almost be thankful for. That said, he wasn’t very gentle either.

He hastily reached up under your nightgown to grope your breasts, quickly moving from one to the other as he squeezed them just a bit too hard. “You like how daddy plays with your tits, don’t you?” he grunted. “Say, ‘yes daddy.’”

“Y-yes, daddy,” you mumbled awkwardly; maybe being embarrassed to say that was superfluous considering everything else happening right now, but your face got warmer regardless.

A whimper almost caught in your throat when he pinched your hardened nipples, but it broke through when he seemingly-randomly gave a spank to your inner thigh.

He looked down at where your bodies were joined, where he was stretching you out with steady pumps of his cock that filled you to the brim, before reaching up to quickly pull his black sweater off over his head— a t-shirt underneath came off with it as his chest was exposed. He wasn’t unreasonably pale but he clearly wasn’t the type to get a ton of sun, and he had a thin scattering of dirty-blonde hair over some of it. It was sort of embarrassing, now, seeing how thin he was and yet he was still so much stronger than you.

"You're getting so wet, babydoll, look— you're making a mess on these expensive sheets," he grinned. And he wasn't lying; the sting of the stretch had slowly faded, replaced with a friction you actually couldn't help but enjoy. Each time he moved, he seemed to slide right over a spot that made you tighten up your legs so they wouldn't shake.

But, apparently, there was still plenty left that he could do to hurt you.

You cried out, so louder it echoed across the room, when he suddenly thrust into you hard and deep, hitting the very end of you as your body involuntarily jolted— he clapped his hand down over your mouth instantly, muffling your cries to near-silence as he set a punishingly fast pace out of nowhere. You couldn’t turn your head when you heard your bedroom door open, but you could glance to the side and see another burglar appear in the doorway, staring forward at the scene in front of him.

A new sense of shame burned inside you for being seen in such a way; oddly, it came with guilt, too, as if you were doing something wrong yourself, when really it was just something wrong being done to you. The man on top of you didn’t seem to feel much of either, though: he didn’t even slow down.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" the other man asked his partner, face still hidden but his voice a mixture of bewildered and disgusted. "This isn't how we roll."

"Fuck off, I'm almost done," your attacker scoffed. You tried to use the distraction to fight him again— you swung your arms to try to scratch his face or push him away, but without even hesitating he simply stopped covering your mouth to pin your wrists at either side of your head.

"Is this really what you think the revolution is about?" the man in the door sneered. "Or does that even matter to you when you think you might get some ass? Jesus, I always knew you were a creep but this is…" he trailed off.

"Maybe you should take a turn with her, might fix your attitude," the man on top of you suggested. "She's real tight— trust me, you'll feel better."

"I promise that raping that girl isn't gonna make me feel better, Jan," he frowned.

"Fine, then just go so I can finish and I'll meet you guys in the yard," Jan— apparently that was his name— instructed.

"Don't go," you begged the man in the door, seeing the concern on his face— you could tell he wanted to stop Jan, maybe if you asked him to, he would.

"Shut up, bitch," Jan growled, correcting you with a slap to the face.

The man in the doorway just shook his head and sighed, stepping back into the hall and shutting the door behind him. You cried harder, more sure than ever that Jan was right when he said you were at his mercy; and he didn’t seem to have much.

He fucked you rough and fast, recklessly chasing his own pleasure with no regard for yours. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean that you didn’t feel any pleasure, though… it was building, in fact, sort of like when you touched yourself but so much stronger, and deeper, and threatening to overflow at any moment. “Oh fuck, you’re close,” he noticed with a tilted grin, “you love it so fucking much, huh? Wanna cream on daddy’s cock?”

You shook your head but he slapped you again, spinning your face to the side as he held both your wrists above your head in one hand and gripped your jaw with the other.

“Stop lying,” he growled, “I can feel it, I can feel your cunt getting tighter… you’re gonna come so fucking hard for me, aren’t you, babydoll? God, what a nasty fucking whore you are…”

He held your face to look straight ahead, up at where he hovered above you and bared his teeth in a snarl, before forcing your mouth open and spitting into it. You grimaced and tried even harder to squirm away but he quickly clamped his hand down over your nose and mouth so you couldn’t try to spit it back out again.

“C’mon, swallow it,” he instructed roughly, voice a bit strained from the force it took to hold you down. You could hardly breathe with his hand this way, and when you tilted your head back to try to get away from it, you accidentally swallowed his spit with a disgusted, muffled grunt. “There you go, good girl,” he purred as he watched your throat bob a bit involuntarily, “that’s it, I know you wanna come— say it! Say ‘daddy I wanna come.’”

He let go of your mouth and slapped you again before you even had a chance to hesitate. “D-daddy,” you whined, “I… I—”

“It’s not that fucking hard,” he hissed, “just say it, you dumb fucking slut!”

One more slap was apparently all you needed to just choke it out: “I wanna come, daddy!” you cried, back starting to arch as the pressure of holding back your release became too much to bear.

“Then fucking come,” he demanded, “come for me, baby, right fucking now.”

You tried to hold out just a moment longer, just to spite him, just so you wouldn’t obey him so easily… but it only took one rough thrust right into the end of you to make it all spill over. You came with a sob, shaking and jerking beneath him for a moment before a warmth spread through you; it started right where he filled you and spread everywhere until your mind was all foggy and your fingers started to go numb— or maybe that was just because of him pinning you down at the wrists.

Much to your disgust, you could hear how wet you had become with every stroke inside you, a sickening squelching noise that made him laugh as your face tingled with numbness and burned with shame all at once. “Oh fuck, that’s it,” he praised, “naughty little dolly, making a mess on daddy’s cock with that dirty fucking cunt of yours… I’m gonna cover it in my come, are you ready, baby? Ask daddy to come on your pussy, don’t make me hit you again.”

“Daddy, please,” you mumbled quietly, “come on my pussy…”

“I can’t hear you, babydoll, you need to speak up,” he mocked.

And you were just so exhausted and overwhelmed and his thrusts inside your sensitive walls were starting to get painful again— that was why you really meant it when you sobbed through your begging: “Please, daddy, come on my pussy!”

With one more panted moan he pulled out and only had to give his cock one blur of a stroke before white, warm come began to paint over your sore opening, your swollen clit, your bruised inner thighs. “Fuuucckkk…” he groaned under his breath as he watched himself coat you, and you caught a tinge of pink from your blood on his cock and hand as he slowed down to a stop. "Sheiße," he sighed, letting go of your wrists to sit up and close his eyes for a moment before looking down again at where you were limp and splayed out on your bed beneath him. “See? I’m getting reckless, I really shouldn’t be leaving evidence…”

Even without that, you knew his name and face, but apparently he was focusing on the copious amounts of DNA he’d just left on you.

“I suppose it won’t be a problem, because you’re not going to tell anyone,” he posited, leaning down slightly to hover over you as you swallowed around the rock that had suddenly formed in your throat. “You know how I know you won’t?”

You weakly shook your head, already terrified to imagine what the answer to that question was going to be. Of course, your first assumption was that he was going to kill you, or threaten to do so if you involved the police. He knew where you lived, he could threaten your family, too: the thought made your skin crawl as he leaned down further to whisper right against your ear as you instinctively turned your face away from him.

“Because if you tell someone that I raped you,” he finally continued, “then you’ll also have to tell them that you liked it.”

Speaking right against your ear, it took him no effort at all to stick his tongue out and lick you right on it, making you squeal with fear and disgust.

He quickly hopped off the bed and recollected himself, stuffing his softening and blood-stained cock back into his pants before gathering his discarded clothes from the floor. "Your folks won't be home for two more nights, right? I should come visit you again," he winked when he spared a glance at you. “Now get some rest, baby, you deserve it. Don’t worry, I’ll lock the front door behind me when we leave… wouldn’t want anybody unsavory getting in, now would we?”

[igotathingforvampires]

Anon Ask | Caius Volturi x F!Witch Reader: Punishments

Canon Divergent Dora is true mated to Renata because I <3 Renata Fight Me

Reader is a Witch.

You are a human. Who managed because of a latent heritage of being a Witch to wander past Heidi into the Throne Room thinking it’s a tour.

You’re not stupid, you walk right in and get near the dais and look around and realize that this is not just a tour.

Sighing, you glance around and face palm. “Ahhhhhh Fuck My Life.”

The Kings of Volterra are eyeing you with amusement.

You sigh, and glare UP at the throne of a very, very gorgeous almost elfin, platinum haired King who’s GLARING back at you with a raised brow and a scowl.

“So ah do I get to pick who offs me?”

All vampires just PAUSE.

“Because okay, if I’m gonna die.” You point at Caius. “That one. You. You’ve got dibs Sir.”

Caius is Shooketh.

This little human has got some guts.

He hates humans. HATES humans.

So why when he snatches you up and you just look at him with those big eyes, and a small smile “just make it quick hm?”

You wait, eyes closed.

Caius pauses, growling and suddenly NOPE you’re picked up and ZOOM.

Aro: The fuck just happened?

You’re tucked away in his inner sanctuary of his rooms, sat down on a chair. “Sit RIGHT here human. If you move I shall be displeased, you won’t like what happens if you make me angry.”

“Uhhhhhh kay.”

Caius goes and feeds and after he sits amongst his brothers. “I’m keeping it.” He growls

Turns out he can keep you because you’re not human! YAY!

“So am I like a bunny.”

“Less than a Rabbit you’re human.” Caius would growl at you.

“Mmmkay.”

How things Go:

You are the chillest bitch to ever chill. Life has not been great, in fact it’s been a horror show, Aro of course sees this and he scolds Caius for treating you like a piece of furniture rather than a person.

Aro knows you’re just feeling Caius out, watching because there are moments— the very few moments— when he is oh so gentle.

You shiver, a blanket is flung at your face. “My luck you’d catch pneumonia.”

Your tummy rumbles, the chef brings a five star meal. “I don’t need you dying.”

You’re bored, suddenly you’re in front of the TV and given access to ALL the shows. “You’re being a pest.”

Aro also knows your temper is starting to appear the more Caius pushes you away.

Caius isn’t sure what to even do with you— he is FEELING things, things he’s never even felt with Dora. And Dora is berating him alongside Marcus for being an utter nitwit.

“Cai for all your brilliance for strategy you’re an idiot in romance.” Dora says.

He knows it’s true. He’s an asshole.

And angry.

All the time. But when you’re around he’s not angry anymore.

But at one point you’re still fidgeting with your hands. “What is the problem now.”

“Ah…well…” you fidget some more, “c-can I have some water colors?”

Caius freezes. “You paint?” He seems curious.

You nod. “I do digital art but I like canvas art too!” You show him your phone of photoshop collages, watercolor, digital paintings and such.

“You do this on a computer?” He tilts his head. He hates technology. So seeing that one can create art this way is astounding to him.

“Yeah I had to sell my iPad a while ago so sadly I can’t do much right now but if I have some water colors that would be a good start!” You bounce on your feet.

You have the a massive iMac, a Wacom Cintiq 24”, an entire selection of Derwent colors and crazy amounts of canvases and anything else you might need that an artist can think of.

Caius is utterly stunned when you tackle him and kiss his cheek thanking him.

His heart explodes into confetti.

Art is how Caius communicates his gentler side. His art is beautiful, evoking deep emotions, and his hand is gentle and fluid enough in motion to capture even the most minute details.

You both grow exceptionally close, till Marcus one day pulls him aside to inform him of the Mate Bond that is between you two.

The Kiss:

You’re modeling for Caius, it’s a random request and you feel utterly embarrassed dressed in flowing robes and sprawled on a chaise lounge half hanging off, your hair spilling onto the marble floor.

You can’t quite help but notice how his gaze is pitch black and devouring you.

“M-Master Caius?”

“Caius.” He grumbles.

“Huh?”

“I think it’s about time you can call me Caius y/n.”

He can hear your heart thump an erratic beat as magic swirls in your eyes. It’s slowly been coming back to you, being cared for, like a plant long neglected, your magic has begun to grow under the tender albeit aloof care of the vampire King you’re so utterly in love with.

But you know it’s silly, there’s no way it’d work—

He’s suddenly next to you, hovering nose to nose, pulling you towards him, “you consume me.”

It’s the last thing he says for a long while as you both end up staying on that lounge for a— ahem lengthy amount of time.

Punishments:

Caius is a sadist.

But he’s a loving sadist.

He has so many kinks he doesn’t know what to do with them. And luckily for him— surprise surprise you’re kinky too.

But you tend to be mouthy. And Caius does not like when he is disobeyed. “Be a good pet and go sit.”

“But—“

“1.”

When Aro counts it’s for orgasms.

When Caius counts it’s for paddling or the crop.

Or it’s for forced orgasms and overstimulation.

The dynamic between you is quite lovely, boundaries are discussed whenever needed, although Caius can come across as gruff and uncaring, at one point during punishment play you had said your safe word rather quickly, and everything stopped. Oils, bath, rub down, talks, blankets, snuggles, and so many kisses to the forehead. “Bunny, oh my little bunny what happened?”

As someone who does not cry.

Ever.

Aro has attested to this.

It astounds Caius that you’d trust him enough to do so.

He realizes that he’s earned a trust that has not been earned by anyone in a long long time, knowing that feeling, he would never break it by overdoing things or going past your boundaries.

Punishments are talked out. Explained. Rules are fairly discussed and you ALWAYS have a say in vetoing or staying off for another day.

If it’s a topic that has yet to be discussed it is tabled, and discussed for what an appropriate response should be.

Punishments include:

Caning

Paddle

Crop (your favorite)

Being suspended and teased.

Leashed. Yes he will have you walk behind him with a leash and collar. And yes he will sit in the Library with you on a leash and your head in his lap. “Good Bunny.”

You are a very good bunny.

Caius has only had only lost his temper with you once. And never will again.

It was due to negligence on your part, you had disobeyed him when it was imperative for you to listen, not aware of the danger of a local coven’s very out of control member. “But Cai why—“

They had heard your blood sing to them.

Caius had torn the individual to pieces in a fit of utter rage before turning on you with a shout, “I told you NEVER to disobey me.” he roared at you, the energy coming off him practically feral as his eyes were murderous.

Seeing you shrink back; the fear in your gaze at him almost broke his heart when the dread kicked in as to what he had done. He had frightened you.

He was supposed to be your comfort and safety.

of course you wouldn't understand vampire's ways of doing things.

or what a singer was...you were a witch...

But before he could even think to reach for you...

You had fled.

Hidden away in Dora’s rooms you tucked yourself away in her bathroom in the tub with a blanket curled up and wept.

Dora and Sulpricia beat the shit out of Caius.

He had sat outside the door pleading with you for hours.

He knew he had utterly fucked up.

He had a horrid temper, he knew it, and the idea of you being drained dry right in front of him had been far too much for him to think of. “Y/n please talk to me. I'm so sorry please forgive me.”

You had unlocked the door with magic…. And he had merely crawled into the tub with you, curled around you underneath the blanket and held you while you cried into him and smacked at his chest. “Don’t do that ever again!!!”

“I know, I know bunny I know. Never again. I'm a bastard I know.”

You calmed down and glared at him.

“Would you like to delve out a punishment?”

You blinked, confused and then realized what he was offering.

“Yes.”

And that is how you ended up quite happy with your vampire begrudgingly, and amused sitting at your feet in your shared rooms with GOOD BOY on a thick leather collar.

Turns out Caius likes being punished too.

“Also a masochist hm?” You laugh at him and grip him by his hair.

“So it seems.” He muses kissing your knee and nudging your legs apart. “But the reward is worth it isn’t it bunny?”

[senor-cummies]

Link and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad (Perfect) Day

It's always 'link buys Sidon a sapphire bracelet, unknowingly proposing to him' and never 'sidon buys link a diamond ring, unknowingly proposing to him' they're both himbos this is missed potential. So anyway, happy post a wip.

--

Sidon shuffled, waiting awkwardly for a specific blonde Hylian head to walk through the door. He'd hoped Link was able to make it, part of him thought he wouldn't come despite it being incredibly out of character.

A waitress walked up to him with a smile.

"Hi! I'm Neva, I'll be serving you tonight!" Sidon smiled lopsidedly.

"I'm waiting for someone, but I wouldn't mind a bottle of Voltfruit wine." She nodded, walking off to get it. He turned his eyes towards the door again, bouncing his leg, his head fin thumping against his back.

'He's going to come.' he told himself 'He's never stood you up before, he always comes.'

Just as he was about to tear his eyes away, a pale hand pushed open the palm frond curtain in the door way, and a blonde headed Hylian, dressed in royal guard's attire, stepped into the establishment.

Sidon sat up with a smile, waving him over.

"Link! I'm so happy you could make it?" The hylian blushed, taking his beret off and sitting it in his lap.

"I almost couldn't! It was as if Zelda was trying to keep me hostage! I didn't even change," he laughed. Sidon sighed happily, Link was so perfect. The waitress came back with his wine a little shocked to see the other person at the table.

"Uhm, hello Link! Welcome back." Link waved.

"Hi Neva! You can go ahead and get me the regular."

Sidon tilted his head.

"And what can I get you?" Sidon's cheeks flushed, he glanced at the menu, his eyes widening. It was a very large selection, all seafood dishes.

"Uhm... I'll have the spicy surf and turf curry?" She smiled.

"Excellent choice! Would you like steak or chicken?"

"Uhm, chicken."

"And crab, porgy, bass, or trout?"

"Trout."

She nodded.

"Alright, I'll be out with your food. It's made to order, so you should expect about half an hour."

Sidon thanked her and turned his attention back to Link.

"So..." Link started, rubbing the back of his neck. Sidon rolled his lips thin, picking up his wine glass.

"How's...Prince...stuff?" It came out a lot dryer than Link planned it to be. But it seemed to lighten the mood, bringing a soft smile to Sidon's face.

"It's been... Incredibly stressful and overbearing, to be honest. Nothing but important meetings and conferences nonstop for the past week." Link winced.

"But...I feel a lot more at ease when I'm with you." Sidon cooed, relishing in the pink that grew on Link's cheeks.

"And how's today been? For you? Get any cool presents?" Link giggled. Giggled, taking a sip of his wine.

"No, not the cool gifts, per se, mostly food. I got a muffin basket, Zelda made me crepes for breakfast, Mom gave me more books on alchemy. You took me to my favorite restaurant." Sidon smiled.

"Well, I have another gift but it's for after dinner."

Link perked up.

"What is it?" Sidon laughed.

"I'm not gonna tell you, it would ruin it."

Link pouted, shrinking in his seat.

They continued to joke and laugh until their food came, Sidon was shocked by how good his dish was. There certainly was no wonder the restaurant was his favorite. Link didn't put his spoon down until his plate was clean. They both shared a laugh at how distracted they were by the food.

"We barely even talked," Link chuckled.

"It's not our fault this food is exceptional!"

"I know right? It's probably the best thing I've ever eaten."

"Hm, it's not better than your food. Sometimes I can still taste that salmon meuniere." Sidon licked his lips. He'd just ate and he was already hungry.

Link blushed, ducking his head.

Neva arrived with their check shortly after. Link and Sidon both reached into their pockets. Sidon pulled a face.

"You aren't paying for your birthday present." He asserted, putting a satchel of rupees in Neva's hand.

Sidon stood, grabbing his hand and leading him out of the restaurant.

"Come on, let's get your last birthday present." Link smiled, shuffling behind him. He wasn't greedy, definitely not, but Sidon always have the best presents. Somehow, each year, each occasion, every present was better than the last. Link started to look forward to getting things from him, terrible as it sounds.

When they finally came to a stop, they were at a nice spot on the beach, at a perfect vantage point to watch the sunset. Sidon's headfin wagged with his impatience.

"I wanted to get you something special, so I went to a jewelry shoppe in Castle Town and, well..." Sidon reached into the bag on his hip pulling out a small velvet box. Link gasped, his eyes widening.

Is that? Sidon opened the box to reveal an ornate silver ring with an opal on it. Link's eyes welled with tears, his hand flying up over his mouth

"Link, I--"

"Yes." He didn't even let him finish, rubbing the tears from his eyes. Sidon tilted his head.

"Yes?"

Link nodded.

"Of course, yes." Sidon pursed his lips, trying to put the pieces together.

"Yes...what?" Link's smile faltered.

"Yes to your proposal?" Link stared into Sidon's eyes. All he saw was deepening confusion. Link's eyes widened in mortification.

"You're asking me to marry you, right?" He asked in a panic. Sidon sputtered.

"What would make you think that?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe the dinner at my favorite restaurant and the walk on the beach and the romantic sunset! Or the engagement ring you're holding!" Sidon was taken aback.

"Engagement ring? This is an...Oh, Hylia. I had no idea I..."

"How did you have no idea?"

"I just went to a Hylian jewelry shoppe and asked the clerk "What would I gift to a Hylian I love very much more than anything?" In Zora culture there's this whole courting gift procedure and then you give your partner a sapphire amulet!"

Link rolled his lips thin. Right, of course. They aren't from the same culture, why wouldn't there be a difference in proposals.

I'm such an idiot.

He was so embarrassed, he just wanted to curl into a ball and die.

"Wait, you said yes." Link's cheeks burned hot.

"N--no!"

"Do you...want to marry me?"

"maybe? I don't know! I just..." He groaned, burying his face in his hands. This was horrible. Terrible. The worst. Sidon probably hated him. What kind of person just accepts marriage proposals.

"Link," he sighed. Link braced himself. Here it comes, he cursed. Sidon was going to tell him he never wanted to talk to him again, never wanted to see him again, call him a weirdo. Clingy, stupid, every horrible thing Link could think of.

Sidon grabbed his left wrist, gently pulling it off his face. He slowly slid Link's glove off.

"This was, actually, supposed to be the first gift. I was going to ask you if you'd allow me to court you but...We can do this the hylian way." Link looked up, his face confused yet hopeful. Sidon took the ring off the plush cushion of the box and sliding it onto his ring finger.

"The, uh, yes still stands, right?" Link smiled, albeit wobbly, tugging Sidon down by his forearm to kiss him.

"Of course."

--

Behold! Fluff! This is actually the wippiest wip I've posted bc this is the prologue of a fic that has 4 chapters lol. See y'all next Saturday!💛💛

[silvermuffins]

Pokemon Legends Arceus: because i sold my soul to nintendo long ago

Truth be told I preordered this game the moment it was available and downloaded it ASAP. And then proceeded to not touch it. ADHD brain. Lack of time in between other things. Part of me screaming that I should finish a game before starting another. The stars weren't right. Couldn't do it. Stars, man. Stars.

But today my lifelong love has returned to me, and today we fight to the death!

i haven't even opened the game yet ftr. but i HAVE closed the one i'd been playing, so i'm ready to go.

leeeet's do this

shiny light and i expect to hear "open your eyes...wake up, Link!"

oh shit, beyond both time and space, gold, is this the collective unconscious

hello god its me margaret

i do not know how much of my appearance i'll be able to change later....as for name. hm. i picked a very unjapanese look, but i do want a japanese name... [much working ont hat later] Eiko

wait this is a fucking isekai?

like god is telling me a world in which pokemon is gonna be strange to me

yooooo EIKO ISN'T FROM POKEMON WORLD

maybe i shouldn't have gone with a japanese name lol too late now

yo it's straight up GOD telling me to catch 'em all this time

YEET

oh fuck there goes my phone

this is now a kingdom hearts opening sequence

awww god took my-- okay dude PLEASE tell me you didn't download any sketchy apps i JUST got this phone

rude

what is that thumping

i FELL OUT OF THE SKY

strange hat man thinks I'M the weird one for falling out of the sky

which tbf i probably am

also tf is that thundery swirly thing in the sky over there are we just gonna fucking ignore that?!

if im not from the pokemon world why does my teeshirt have a luxury ball on it

"a bit of a pickle"

"a bit"

NO SHIT DUDE

i just told you i don't have an acquaintance around here why would you think i have somewhere to stay

NO I AM NOT SURE I WILL SURVIVE

holy shit my guy my dude

expressive protag tho, very nice, that was a very clear look of oh fuck im screwed

the starters just patiently waiting to be acknowledged

"almost as if they knew" yup okay then they knew and there's some destiny bullshit going on

i mean i guess i WAS literally sent by god

siiiigh I know what a pokemon is but Eiko has to get the tutorial

im amazed strange hat man even considered i might not know

currently stalling while i try to pick a starter

Laventon.....okay so the locals don't necessarily have Japanese names we all good

off the starters go again which tbh im surprised they didn't sooner

cant jump cant swim

oh arceus marks my targets ig?

no it's just GIVING MY GODDAMN PHONE BACK

oh sick custom case

god is texting me

this is gonna be the coolest catching tutorial ever

also we're not gonna do a nickname theme it's gonna just be whatever

also thank you game freak for giving cyndaquil its fire back

.....sooooo so far im getting professor useless vibes from laventon, can't wait to ditch him. i got my mission from god, don't need you.

whoa holy shit fifty?

laventon's design is SO weird like what is he even doing

so pokemon can shrink themselves???? ALL of them can? so why can't everything use minimize

....is laventon british? or galarian????? because his speech patterns....

booped oshawott riiight in the snoot

excuse you sir who are you calling old girl

acting awfully avuncular for a dude i met two seconds ago

bla bla pokedex sir i have my mission

BUT THOU MUST rowan's way of but thou musting was vastly superior

he's finally doing something helpful to the kid who just got isekai'd

oh we are FINALLY acknowledging the ominous cloud over the mountain

them's some sideburns

the villagers are, appropriately, confused and curious and gossipy

god has bequeathed me a gps

prelude beach, that's kinda on the nose

as a true jrpg player i am running around talking to everyone before i get on with shit

oh jesus nearly every building seems to be able to be go-inside-able

village guardian shrine has an arceus ring in it....

okay can't enter any buildings yet

my guy's mustache is green but his beard is grey

holy fuck hi lucas

laventon is a foreigner confirmed!

"yeah he's professor useless hang with the cool kids instead"

ooook lucas's name is Rei

somehow laaventon snuck up on him though...

Cyllene. who gave her the right to be so this,

holy shit i have an age

EVERYONE here is sus of me wow

THIS is how we're explining the [POINTS AT OMINOUSLY THUNDERING SWIRLY THING]

just casually discussing space-time rifts over dinner like it's nbd?!

also is it me or are lots of people kinda looking down on the Survey Corps

awww cyllene is a stress eater

we got new villagers out and some relocated bc it's later! and whoa shit nice room

why are there jars of rocks in my room

get this show on the road

thats probably fine

there's so many foreigners here??? so why am i an issue

"almighty Sinnoh" what the fuck

there's actually a shitton of people here

okay i'm ready to Continue

holy shit cyllene your desk

what guidance did i just activate???

also she really is just gonna yeet me out in the wild huh

thankfully laventon is PROBABLY going to "it's dangerous to go alone! take this"

we goin' Cyndaquil!

hang on time for more exploring

who dat

oh shit dude YOU should be the professor

you could call the pokedex....volo's guide to monsters

oh snap we gonna fight

unsure if stranger danger?

eh it's probably okay he seems sparkly

holy shit that battle music is so hype

whoa potions do a LOT

awww this trial is cute

all done. can't wait to be out of the tutorial zone and just be free

explorin'. when can i trust npcs won't say new things?

i sorta like how people are a little meaner than most pokemon games

finally, clean clothes! and, hat get! am now true protag

i completely missed the second floor when i was exploring here earlier...didn't even occur i might be able to go up the other staircase

hello rowan senior,oh fuck dude wants to fight

oh my fuckign god

etjkrtyfnretr

i love this man

let's just get on with things instead of hunting down every scrp of unique diaalogue

this research system already looks SO cool

im gona dress up CUTE

wastes money to change hair just to preview hats then change back bc i didn't like any of 'em

the photo place is interesting

okay! field time!

i don't have a shitton to say right now im just kicking around having fun

rei can you pls just leave me to do my thing, my exploring is very quickly proving to be more efficient than your handholding

i keep trying to use botw controls

he checks on me, has me check if i have tasks to report. there are 41. got a shitton of points for that. caan i cross the bridge yet?

time to go get a star

Diamond Clan.....hmmm

awww him have pika

oh sweetheart you are NOT gonna win

i want this lady to carry me

and then we took a break for food!

[several hours later]

ooh i get mystery gifts now!

volo still Being

i must go my people need me we are leaving it here for now

[dcvillainromance]

The Siren and the Fisherman

"Have you seen the new," Edward paused to snort, "quote on quote, 'doctor'?"

Jervis turned to him, looking scandalized for a moment, "What do you mean quote on quote, Edward? Doctor (L/N) is perfectly fine! She's been very kind to me."

Jervis crossed his arms with a pout as Edward scoffed, "Jon," he began, "you haven't shared your opinion yet."

Jonathan glanced up from his book, "Haven't met 'em yet. Think you'll be able to wait, Ed."

Edward glared at Jonathan and lunged to grab the T.V. remote from Harvey.

"Try it again and I snap you like a toothpick, Nygma," Harvey growled, smacking Edward in the back of the head.

Edward opened his mouth to retaliate, but was stopped when a guard called an end to their recreation time.

Slowly, all of the rogues filed out to the hallway to walk to their cells.

"So," Edward grinned, clasping his hands behind his back, "I just overheard-"

"You stole one of the schedules didn't you, Ed?"

"Overheard, stole, what's the difference? Anyways, looks like you've got an appointment with the talk of the asylum this evening!"

Jonathan's eyebrows furrowed, "You talkin' about Doctor (Y/L/N)?"

Edward rolled his eyes, "Brains for days, yes Jon, I'm talking about Doctor (Y/LN)."

"Hm."

"Nothing? Just a hm? I give you valuable information and you-"

"I'll tell you how it goes, jackass."

"You better! You should eat before your appointment, Jon, you might wither away."

"Jonathan Crane?"

Jonathan nodded stiffly, looking down at his temporary shrink.

"Great," they grinned, knocking on the clipboard that they held and holding out their hand for Jonathan to shake, "as I'm sure you already know, I am Dr. (Y/L/N), but if you want you can call me (Y/N)."

Jonathan sneered down at (Y/N), ignoring the offered handshake. (Y/N) shuffled awkwardly for a moment, seemingly uncomfortable by Jonathan's rejection.

"Well," (Y/N) stepped to the side to gesture to some chairs arranged in the middle of their office, "shall we?"

The guards accompanying Jonathan shoved him forward before walking out and shutting the door behind them with a bang.

(Y/N) frowned, "I hope they're not always that rude to patients," they shook their head, looking back to Jonathan with a warm grin, "no time like the present, eh? Shall we begin, Mr. Crane?"

"So how are you enjoying your new shrink, Jonathan?"

Jonathan sighed and continued chewing, "I don't think that's any of your damn business."

Edward laughed, "Curiosity did kill the cat, I suppose."

Jervis shushed Edward, "I do believe that you're the only patient that Dr. (Y/L/N) is caring for at the moment."

Jonathan glanced up, "Hm. Figured. Bit too... nice. Probably won't last long."

"Think we'll have another Harley on our hands? No disrespect to the original of course."

"I don't believe so," Jervis piped in, holding a finger up to his chin in thought, "they don't particularly seem the follower type."

"I don't know," Edward shrugged, "my thought would be that a lovely member of this asylum will end up falling for them. In all of their innocent charms lies a siren in wait, beckoning unknowing sailors to their death."

"(Y/N) does have a certain... allure to them, don't they?"

Edward made an uncertain noise and shrugged, "Nothing that I'd be interested in."

Jonathan scoffed a laugh, "Wait till you get some alone time with a mirror will you? Christ, damn egotistical jackass."

"Have you something to say about your shrink, Jonathan?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Jonathan snapped defensively.

Edward gasped dramatically and held a hand over his mouth, "Don't tell me that the master of fear himself has fallen under the spell of a simple psychiatrist!"

"Edward, why don't you pull your head out of your ass and then we can talk."

Edward smirked, "This could be interesting, wouldn't you agree, Jervis?"

"How've you been since our last session, Mr. Crane? And, ahem, breaches from scarecrow?"

Jonathan shook his head and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his thighs, "Nope," he murmured, "would it be alright if I asked you something, Doctor?"

(Y/N) smiled, pencil poised over their clipboard, "I suppose that'd be ok."

"What are you afraid of, Doctor (Y/L/N)?"

(Y/N) grip on their clipboard tightened, quickly scrawling some notes down, "Are you sure that your medication is working?" They chuckle nervously, "Right now I'm not completely sure if I'm talking to Jonathan Crane, or scarecrow."

"Oh now, don't you worry 'bout that, child. You didn't answer my question."

(Y/N) glanced at the door, "Mr. Crane, I am the doctor here. I would appreciate if you could recognize that. Otherwise, I'll have to call the guards."

Jonathan chuckled lowly, the sound echoing through the room. Jonathan noticed (Y/N) become pale, her heartbeat noticeable quickened.

Oh, Jonathan thought, staring straight into (Y/N)'s eyes, this is gonna be fun...

[tinker-jae-spam]

Hm, okay so I've been thinking about this for a while and ik no ok but my friends are gonna see this but I've been wanting to start making essays and stuff about stuff I wanna talk about and I think I'm gonna start now.

Melancholy

I think this is what I'm gonna start writing about this word, I might look up the dictionary definition soon enough but for now I'll use my own.

Melancholy: Bittersweet, a mixture of nostalgia, happiness, sadness. Tears of impure joy, diluted by a hole, getting ever so smaller but never quite disappearing.

You can be 99% joyful but if you still feel the weight of that sadness, that isolation. That's melancholy

A small victory.

I think it's kind of an interesting feeling, it can be a nice reprieve, yet still it's a complex flavor, in a way something to be savored.

I've got a song that just *oozes* melancholy. The song is "Yum" by Juto.

So like I mentioned about the ever shrinking hole, the song has this sort of infinity to it, like the ocean, a fractal, a spiral. It just feels like it's cascading and building on itself and the longer it goes, the longer the feeling grows.

It's got this beat, a feeling like walking down the street, going not with passion or purpose, but due to a lack of those things, a state of limbo between times of genuine purpose in your life, just wandering, being half lost and half not.

The strings (I don't know the term for it but like pianos and guitars and stuff), they carry this vibe, like sadness, like someone smiling and cry while strumming a chord. I'm gonna keep writing forever if I keep going on about the instrumentation, so I think I'll move on to the vocals.

Juto's voice in this song, they absolutely sing magnificently, I can see them singing this in both a modern apt bathroom and in the courtyard of an athenian garden. The vibes are just so, real, in a way.

I'm only gonna talk about the lyrics here shortly because, they sort of fade in and out of my head. There are lines sung with the beauty of Juto's voice,

" You should come over and catch all this loving"

"knocking all my advancements"

"I don't get why you even try to hate me"

"I'm just way too insatiable "

The lines are good, they feel like a sirens call, trying to get you to crash your boat against their rocks, and I'm sure as hell listening. The chorus especially, in the right mood I'll have this song on for hours and I'll only hear the chorus, granted it's the main part of the song but still, it's so, intoxicatingly sad yet happy. So melancholy.

The song is melancholy, it is the feeling of melancholy, in audio form, and it's good enough that it involves other senses, my sense of touch, taste, my imagination, I would go on but I'm getting tired so I'll finish with this.

The voice, the instrumentation, the lyrics, it makes me feel like I'm slowly spiraling out of time. Like I'm lying back on a foreign yet known planet, an infinite ocean under and around me as I Iook up at the constellations, clear to me as they were to my ancestors, hanging up there, showing that there is more beyond your miniscule, fragile world, maybe something better. I'm alone yet not lonely, the stars and water and tears before me are my friends now. And I know I'll have to get up from the water and make my way back to land, but for now I think I'll lie down just a bit longer. That desire, a melancholy solitude, it's strong, infinite, and nearly insatiable.

[sangled]

(critique anon) ok well I was gonna say I love you and I love your art!! and I was awed at how much your animation improved in your latest video; everything seemed to move really naturally and I'm not much of an animator myself but I can easily tell that takes a lot of skill. One thing i've noticed however is that your characters/any time you draw people they have some odd-looking proportions, where (1/2)

their head/torso looks all right but when you compare it to their legs, the legs are a little too small and it doesn’t quite look right. Like they’re missing an ankle joint or something. Sometimes it comes out looking stubby enough to be cute, like your style, and sometimes it comes out looking a little too stubby and awkward. Anyway idk if anyone else has noticed it but me and I love your art and really want you to improve so!! I’m really excited to see where you go in the future!

hm, i see what you mean. for animation meme poses that specifically call for full-body shots, i try to shrink down my proportions, but once i get to the lower body i gotta fit that stuff in. i’ll try sticking to something next time, instead of sketching it out and rolling with it.

i appreciate the kind words and well-said criticism! thanks critique anon :>

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: McKenna, don't suppose you've got my debit? Checking around before I cancel it Buster: Hang on, I'll have a scout Buster: Not seeing it Rio: Great Buster: Want me to call the club? They might have it Rio: Don't bother, place was so sketchy they'd probably just keep it themselves if it wasn't knicked by a random Buster: I can't remember Buster: Where were we? Rio: Gonna get far calling them then weren't ya? Rio: Krystle Rio: first in a series of bad ideas Buster: Weren't complaining at the time Buster: I remember that much Rio: Speak for yourself, dickhead Rio: that was probably some other bitch you're 'fondly remembering' over there 👌🍆 Buster: Give me some credit Buster: Even if a thief has fucked yours Rio: What, not working on your overall score last night? Buster: Wasn't in the mood strangely enough, almost like I'd been at a funeral Rio: 🙄 what a terrible inconvenience for you Rio: not what she woulda wanted for you, respect the dead's wishes Buster: Too busy fulfilling the wishes of the living Rio: Sure, didn't need that much convincing Rio: Didn't fuck my brains out, lad Buster: I'm not the one acting like I did Buster: It happened I'm not gonna cry about it Rio: Fucking should Rio: Your Ma certainly would Rio: mine too if she weren't otherwise engaged Buster: Fuck that Buster: She's got room to talk Buster: Her and my dad grew up together just like we did Rio: Hm Rio: True enough, McKenna Rio: just following family tradition of being fucked up Buster: Following in my parents footsteps like a good lad Rio: well, I'd suggest you find another cousin to maintain the legacy with but if you go near any of them I will kill you myself Buster: Nice to know that's what you think of me Rio: Did you expect a different reception? Rio: What the fuck Buster: Don't drag them into this shit, alright? Buster: We did it. Us Buster: I'm not collecting cousins Rio: I'm not saying I didn't but I know my reasoning Rio: Why did you? Buster: 'cause I wanted to Rio: No shit, I knew that, I was there, remember? Rio: but why, and fuck it, don't need to tell me but ask yourself maybe Buster: I don't know what magic words you're expecting Buster: It's not that deep Rio: Don't be stupid Rio: I want to know what's wrong with you Buster: Ain't nothing wrong here Rio: Fine Rio: Whatever helps you sleep at night, McKenna Buster: I can pay for a shrink, Cavante, I don't need your amateur attempts Rio: So can I Rio: Dunno if the funds will stretch for all 9 of us though Rio: Spare a thought Buster: I already do Rio: Does your philanthropy know no bounds? Rio: Feeling the love Buster: Surprised you've got room next to the guilt Rio: what the fuck are you saying Buster: Such a big mistake, yeah? Rio: yeah, what else could it be? Buster: A good time Buster: They're in short supply around here right now Rio: Whatever you say Rio: Not like this kind of thing isn't what got me here in first place Buster: Drew being a perv had nothing to do with you Rio: You're wrong Rio: hardly one-sided either Buster: Yeah it was Buster: Everyone knows that Rio: I thought he was hot, I'd say as much, I flirted with him Buster: Even if you were wet for him you'd never have gone there Buster: You wouldn't do it to Indie Buster: She idolises that cunt. Or did Rio: Wouldn't I? Rio: Think what you like, I don't wanna talk about it anymore Buster: We don't have to, but come on, Rio, it ain't about what I think Rio: No, it ain't Rio: Don't matter what any of us think or say Rio: too late Buster: It's his fuck up Buster: not yours Rio: and where the fuck is he then? did you see him at the funeral crying his heart out? Rio: 'cos I fucking didn't Buster: No Buster: I wish I had, I'd knock him out Rio: Lol Rio: no one would be rushing to stop you Buster: Good Buster: You at home? Rio: why? wanna come round and meet the parents? Buster: Of course Buster: Parents love me Rio: you love yourself Rio: and stop trying to make me laugh Buster: Yeah, and? Buster: I'm not trying anything Buster: Natural gifts, babe Rio: Everyone's got to have something they're good at, suppose Buster: Man of many gifts Buster: Won't rub it in though Buster: Sore enough today, aren't ya? Rio: Don't push it, McKenna Rio: what I should have said Rio: nothing but grazes from the wall, handled worse Buster: I'll wait 'til tonight if you don't like it in the cold light of day Buster: Since you were saying everything but then Rio: and you've never said anything you regret in the moment, eh? Rio: must've said something to Chlo you didn't mean for her to be so 😍 Buster: What's the point if it worked at the time Buster: She heard what she wanted to hear, I never lied Buster: I'm not gonna feel bad for how she interprets things Rio: Heaven forbid Buster McKenna ever feels bad about anything 😜 Buster: Why should I? Rio: If you've done something wrong Rio: but fair on her, not saying otherwise there, she's clearly a 🐰🍲 Buster: Like I said, ain't nothing wrong here Buster: Cheers for the backup on that though Rio: Perhaps not in your fam Rio: but people as a whole would disagree there Buster: I can't speak for anyone but myself, babe Rio: You're seriously infuriating Rio: But I'm sure you already knew that 😏 Buster: Today I'm actually not trying to be Buster: It is what it is I guess Rio: Old habits Rio: Wouldn't be right if you were nice all of a sudden Buster: Yeah Buster: And I do aim to please so Rio: Thanks Rio: for not falling back on cliches 'cos you don't know what else to say Buster: Again, gimme some credit like Rio: Nah Rio: give you an inch, like Buster: Can't argue that, good as I am at it Rio: tell me, had you considered a career in law? 🤔 Rio: how's uni going anyway? Buster: Acing it as per Rio: 🙄 Glad I asked Rio: still, nice to be near Jay, less desirable to be near her Ma but what you gonna do Buster: Too right Buster: I've got her for a few days when I go back Buster: Chlo is treating this time in Dublin like it's a holiday and reckons she deserves one Rio: Naturally Rio: everyone knows how rowdy Irish wakes get Rio: practically Ibiza with the lads Rio: at least you actually enjoy having your kid around so not the punishment she intends it to be Buster: Exactly Buster: You can come see her if you're that way Buster: And want Rio: Better not, eh Rio: Cute distraction, as she is Buster: I'll pass it on Buster: She don't hold a grudge for long yet Rio: she can't even hold her own head up Rio: come for me when you've got object permanence, babe 😂 Buster: Made you laugh Rio: You're baby-brained, McKenna Rio: telling me you've got my nose in a sec Buster: You'd fall for it Rio: Fuck off 😂 Rio: Might not be a Mum but I've got 9 youngers I've been entertaining since the cradle days Rio: 10 if you count Indie Rio: well, back down to 9 now, ha Buster: How is she? Rio: Fucked Rio: Not only is her Dad worse than she let slide already Rio: well, you know Rio: Hi sis, bye sis Rio: I'm doing my best to look after her but Buster: If there's anything Buster: Call me, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: Got a cape? Buster: I'll splash the cash this afternoon Buster: Consider it done Rio: fit the ego Rio: oops i meant alter-ego Buster: Nah you didn't Rio: Nope 😘 Buster: I'll let you go and cancel your cards then Buster: Unless there's anything else Rio: One last thing Buster: Go on Rio: Reckon we're going to hell? Buster: Fuck that Buster: There's no god to judge us Rio: I'd like to think so Rio: so, just this once, take your word on it Buster: I won't tell anyone it's alright Buster: You can carry on letting everyone know I talk shit Rio: And who's rep are you really protecting there? Rio: Sneaky Rio: I see you Buster: You always have done Buster: Doubt yourself on whatever else you want but that's not up for debating Rio: Too right Rio: Buster I Rio: Never mind actually Rio: you can go Buster: Fuck off leaving me hanging like Buster: What? Rio: Hang on Rio: Just debating if I lie or that's even more shaming Buster: Just tell me Rio: I wanna see you again Rio: before you go Buster: I'll be there Buster: Where are you now? Rio: Sofa surfing Rio: Come get me Buster: Text me the address Buster: I'm getting in the car Rio: On it Buster: See you in 10 Rio: Hurry Rio: no don't Rio: that was a fucking stupid thing to say Rio: be careful, okay? Buster: I promise you