#honestly feel like you could be a poet or writer - you have such a way with words 🥺

[rosicheeks]

Hey, “gives the immense feeling of home” anon here 🥺 I am also in fact the “you remind me of autumn” anon, which may or may not surprise you 🥺

I’m so happy that my ask was able to lift your spirits, especially since you’ve been in a bit of a funk recently 🥺 And I can’t believe you still think about my autumn ask omg. The fact my words left a lasting impression on you fills me with such joy 🥺

^ this gif is for you 🥺

wrap up in my love 💖💖💖💖

[drvscarlett]

THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT

Pierre Gasly x ex!reader

Summary: The 4 times that they break up and get back together and that 1 time they didn't.

The Tortured Drivers' Department series

A/N: im on a roll with updating the Tortured Drivers Department now that im nearly done with every reqs. I hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think or feel about this

Taglist. @tea-bobba @boiohboii @c-losur3 @haikyuen @stelena-klayley @stinkyjax @0710khj @jinimon-tr

"You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we're modern idiots"

Pierre and Y/N are the type of people that is confusing to talk about. No one really knows the big deal between the two of them, are they friends or are they lovers? One minute everything is all good, they are about to go to the store and pick out rings then the next thing that you know they already broke up. What was constant was that they always find their way back to each other.

Maybe it’s the lifestyle that makes it work; Pierre is a famous F1 driver that travels the world most of the year while Y/N is a grand recluse of a writer that is trying to find her way to the market. They don’t need much time from each other, and they understand the busy structure of their work.

Maybe its also the fact that they have years of friendship backing them up that's why they were able to last long with each others antics. So, what happened to them?

I.

The first kind of break ups were pretty silly. It was usually something that could be fixed in a matter of hours or a day being away from each other. Its something very random and weird like this.

"Wait, so you are breaking up with me because you are writing?"Pierre was confused.

Pierre had been in relationships before but he has never once heard of someone wanting to break up with him because she has to meet a certain deadline.

He felt very whiplash by the whole situation because she was just kissing him and they were cuddling in bed in the morning. Now she wants to break up with him.

"Yes Pierre, I need to be in my most heartbroken self to write my best lines"Y/N confirms.

"So does this mean that once you finish this thing you are working on then we can get back together?"Pierre clarifies.

Y/N nods as she brings out her working laptop and a notebook.

"So should I say something mean or should I just leave you be to your senses?"Pierre wondered.

"Do you really wanna break up with me so badly?"Y/N had too much of Pierre's question

Pierre raised his hands in defeat.

"Okay then lets break up"

Pierre headed straight back to his room to allow Y/N to work on her things. He chuckles at himself with the weird antics of his girlfriend, (or should he say ex girlfriend) but he busies himself with some emails that he has from work.

It took Y/N two days before she comes crawling to their shared bed. Pierre was in a sleepy state when Y/N snuggled to his arms.

"Are you done?"Pierre wondered.

"Yeah,just passed my manuscript"Y/N agrees.

"Can I call you my girlfriend again?"

II.

Qualifying was extremely difficult today with Pierre taking p15. To make matters worse there was this pressing issue that Pierre might be axed from the team. It honestly frustrated him to the point that he was only doing sim work, training, and more training.

It worries Y/N a great deal especially when Pierre seems so out of it.

"Pierre c'mon get some rest" Y/N begged.

It was already 2 in the morning and there was still a race tomorrow but he insisted on hitting the gyms to train.

"You are going to be exhausted later during the race if you keep doing this"Y/N reminds.

"I don't care, I have to work hard"

"Pierre please listen to me"

"You're the one who is not listening to me"Pierre snaps "Don't you realize that I have the possibility to lose everything that I have worked hard for if they cut me off the team."

Y/N was in shock with the sudden outburst and if Pierre was in his usual self then he would have immediately apologized for raising his tone. But Pierre was far from thinking clearly.

"Pierre that was not nice"

"Nothing is ever nice in this world"scoffs Pierre.

"Look I'm just trying to help you he-"

"You know what, why not just break up with me so I can focus on my thing without anyone nagging" Pierre suggested.

She could feel the tears prickling her eyes and threatening to fall. But her mother did not raise her cry over a stupid boy like this.

"You're really going there huh" Y/N said "See if I care"

With a slam of the door, Y/N was gone and Pierre felt even more antsy than ever. It wasn't the fact that he has a messed up weekend but he has the possibility of messing up a good relationship because of his blind rage.

In a couple of hours despite Y/N implying that she didn't care, she was at the race patiently waiting for the lights to go out. It was difficult for her to just leave Pierre especially when he is in this state of mind.

But of course, Y/N's pride was something that she holds dear that is why she didn't show up to Pierre's garage. It is kind of weird to see the crowd of yellow and black colors but Y/N was so glad that she has Isa by her side to join her during the race.

"Never gets easier to let him go for races huh"Y/N comments as she watched Isa putting on Carlos' helmet.

"Well, I'm sure he tries his best to be careful on the track" Isa smiled.

"Why aren't you giving any pre-race goodluck kisses to Pierre? He might need it" Carlos suggested.

Y/N could just roll her eyes, Pierre wasn't superstitious like that.

"Okay laugh all you want but don't make me say I told you so if he gets involved in an accident"Carlos warns.

"Don't mind Carlos, he is just joking"Isa shrugs it off.

"But Isa, its true remember when-"

"Stop stressing Y/N out Carlos, go race and be safe"

"Aye aye"

Y/N watched the playful interaction before the couple parted ways. The scene struck a chord in her heart because she knew that she could never act that way with Pierre. Their whole relationship was a secret that only the grid knows Y/N is off limits. But outside the grid, no one knows about it. Fans equate them as close friends but never more than that.

"What's on your mind honey?"Isa asked

"Nothing Isa, I'm okay"

Y/N showed a weak smile and Isa was hesitant to press things but she just let friend be.

"Look the race is starting"Y/N diverts.

The sound of the engines filled the air and off the cars go. Y/N watched as everyone gets off with a decent start, she could only hope that there was no incident today especially for Pierre's sake.

Everything happened all of a sudden as white smoke filled the air and a loud collision was heard. The cameras were quick to pan to the accident and the two girls clutched each other's hands as the smoke clears.

"It's Nico, its not Carlos" someone from the garage reassured Isa and the girl could feel a sigh of relief.

However, the same cannot be said to Y/N as the frustrated team radio of Pierre can be heard and the familiar livery was seen in the middle of the wreck.

Any amount of pride or memory of what he said last night was suddenly thrown out of the window. She just wants to know how he is or if he is safe from that tragic collision.

"Y/N, they're going to check on Nico" Isa pointed out to some Renault people "You should probably go since Pierre would be there too"

Y/N was about to deny that she didn't want to see him but Isa had a stern look on her face.

"Just go honey"

And she comes running to the medical bay to look for the injured man. She was a bit thankful that precautions have been made in this sports that allowed drivers to walk away from such accident without major damages.

Maybe, a bruised ego is their biggest worry now.

"Y/N"Pierre was confused to see her.

Maybe the damage has been far more worse than he imagined because he was now seeing things. As far as he could recall, Y/N was not around when the race started. So how is she here?

"God, you scared me P"Y/N wrapped him in a hug.

Pierre was a little bit sore from the crash but there was this instant warm feeling knowing that Y/N didn't abandon him. Even if he was really moody and too shitty, Y/N was still there for him.

He remembers how terrible it was being in that car and thinking that the last memory he shared with Y/N is a bad one. He didn't feel great at all so he held her as if its his second chance.

"I didn't mean what I said last night"Pierre whispered "I'm really sorry for hurting your feelings. I wasn't thinking straight and there is just a lot of pressure-"

"It's okay, I know Pierre"Y/N consoles "I won't be leaving you anytime soon"

A chaste kiss was shared between the two of them, a symbol that they have reunited once more.

III.

The third time they broke up was when Pierre asked her hand for marriage and she didn't say anything.

After being constantly invited to weddings, Pierre is bound to pick up some courage to ask Y/N out. He developed this dream that he wants a life with Y/N and he is ready to take it to the next level. Knowing Y/N, he picked the right size and the perfect ring. He also knows her dream proposal place which is somewhere with a view of the city.

He had everything planned out perfectly so imagine his surprise when she answers.

"Pierre, I can't do this" Y/N dropped the bomb.

"What? Why?"

Y/N felt like an extreme asshole because everything was perfect. Any girl would say yes to this prime opportunity of marrying their childhood bestfriend but Y/N sees through things.

"Pierre we aren't even official to the public and now you want to escalate it to marriage" Y/N reasons.

"So that's it, you don't want to marry me because I can't call you mine in public?"

"It's not just that" Y/N sighs "but our careers are just taking off and we haven't talked about our relationship yet and suddenly were going to go to marriage"

What Y/N saying was valid but Pierre was not listening to any of it. He felt very crushed and he could not think straight at the moment.

"Let's just break up if you can't see a future with me"

"Pierre, you know that's not what I meant"

"Then tell me how would you feel if the person you truly loved didn't want to marry you"Pierre roared.

It was a devastating scene between the two of them. How Y/N wished that she could undo what she said a few minutes ago but she knows that she only means well. A rushed marriage will also lead to rush separation and she will not put herself to that.

"Let's break up then, I think its best if we go our seperate ways for the time being"Pierre concludes.

It took them three long weeks before they got back together. It was due to an intervention by Charles that allowed them to speak again and talk their differences. Pierre has been more understanding now and heard Y/N's point out.

They got back together but it felt like there is a huge crack that took a heavy blow with their relationship.

IV.

Y/N had a terrible day at work with her manuscript being asked to be revised by her publisher. All she needs was a good rest and possibly some cuddles with Pierre. She prays as she twist the doorknob that Pierre was not in his one of his moods.

"Mon amour"Pierre called out "I was waiting for you"

Pierre can cook but it doesn't mean that he does it often. It was a good surprise for Y/N to see the dinner table set with all of her favorite dishes and an array of fresh flowers in a bouquet. She eyes the man warily as she takes a seat

"I didn't miss any important dates, didn't I?" Y/N asked.

"Is it bad that I wanted to do something special for you?"

In other days, she would want to argue about it but for today she didn't want to do any of that. She had no energy to question Pierre's weird behavior and she just wants to enjoy the dinner with him.

It was a lovely dinner but Y/N knows that Pierre was hiding something from her. As she was putting away the plates, she knew that she had to get an answer or she may fall asleep overthinking things.

"What is going on P, I'm actually scared you did something stupid that's why you are buttering me up so much"

Pierre lets out a heavy sigh, they knew each other too well that they can't really keep a secret with each other.

"My PR talked to me today and they wanted to announce a relationship to help my whole image"Pierre confesses.

Articles are very easy to miss but as a writer, Y/N knows how a different usage of an article changes the meaning of the sentence. Pierre used "a" rather than "the" which means he is not referring to their relationship.

"Who is it?"Y/N wondered

"She's a model, her name is Caterina" Pierre explained.

There was a heavy silence in the room as Y/N dried out the dishes. She knew that this was all because she was not very marketable due to her timid personality. She was not even famous for her books so that's another reason. Bottom line, they can't announce her because she seems very different from Pierre and she is not the WAG material.

"How long?"

Y/N was used to this kind of treatment. She felt like she accepted this as long as she can get to keep Pierre at the end of this whole thing. People would think she is crazy but love makes people do crazy things.

"Just 6 months and its over"Pierre answered.

It was also very difficult for Pierre's end. He have tried to lobby that he wanted to announce his relationship with Y/N but he is held by a contract. If he decides to deviate then he might lose his seat.

He knows how difficult it was to ask her for this but he had no choice.

"I'll get packing then and I'll move out in the next few days"Y/N mumbles.

Pierre stopped her for leaving and held her tightly. She instantly melts in his hold and she easily reminds herself why she puts up with all of this.

"I love you, don't you forget that"

The world moved with Caterina being announced as Pierre's girlfriend. However, they didn't know that after 6 months then Pierre is back to Y/N's arms. It was always Y/N and Pierre even if the world can't see it.

V.

It started with a normal dinner reservation.

Y/N has been promised by Pierre that he will take her out for dinner. They both understand that the past few weeks has been tiring for the two of them with the stress of racing, writing, and personal issues. The dinner is a nice way to reconnect with each other.

However, here she was already an hour waiting for Pierre to show up.

The hour goes from two to three and by the fourth hour, she decided that she will just go home. She have felt upset with Pierre before but this was a different kind of upset. It's not something to be fixed by flowers, vacations, or any of those stupid letters he does.

She reaches their shared apartment and started packing her stuffs. Her mind was already made up and this time it was going to last. The relationship was doomed to failure anyways.

And just before she finished packing, Pierre stumbles in.

"Y/N, do you have a schedule tonight?"Pierre asked.

He was met with silence as the writer ignores him.

"Oh c'mon what did I do wrong this time?"Pierre complains "Sit and talk with me Y/N"

Pierre could only stop Y/N by bringing all her packed clothes out of her suitcase. Something that heavily irritated Y/N, which caused her to finally speak.

"Can you just let me pack in peace"Y/N begged.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong"Pierre stops "Do you have a flight somewhere? Maybe I could drive you"

"You don't have to drive me Pierre"

"Then what's going on, I arrive here and you are fuming there-"

"You made me fucking wait four hours"Y/N snapped.

Pierre racked his brains for anything that he missed and he suddenly remembered how he reserved dinner with her. He felt like all the color drained on his face.

"Don't do this, I'll make it up to you Y/N" there was a desperation in Pierre's voice.

"I can't, we can't keep doing this P"Y/N admits it "We keep on breaking up and then making up then we act like this is a healthy relationship. We can't do this"

Strong arms wrapped around Y/N's waist and she could feel the wetness on her shoulders as Pierre buried his face there. It was proving more and more difficult for Y/N to leave him.

"I have to do this P, for you and for me"she remains firm.

"Tell me you don't love me"Pierre refuses to let go.

And Y/N cannot admit that because she knows she will always love Pierre. But she was scared that in loving Pierre so much then she may not have any love left for herself. She doesn't know what to do if she loses Pierre so its best if she will be the one to let go of him first.

"I'm sorry Pierre"

With a heavy heart, she removes the him away from her. She picks up her bags and closes the door. She left without taking a look back at the man she has loved from childhood till now because she knows that the moment she sees him then all form of control she has will evaporate.

And everything was two years ago. Here is Y/N with her third best-selling novel book signing tour. Sometimes she likes to think that she lost Pierre to be able to write the books that made her extremely famous. Most of the times, she wishes it never happened because she would rather have Pierre than these best selling novels.

It was her first time in Europe for work. She was often here to watch and support Pierre from the sideline. She never thought that she will be back in Europe so loved and so adored.

But it seems like destiny has a way of messing things up.

"Hi! What's your name?"she greets the woman in front of her.

Even though it has been a long day, she managed to master the art of keeping a perfect smile. She understands how the fans have been waiting in line for so long and she has to give them the best experience as she signs their book.

"My name is Kika, I'm a huge fan of yours" the woman introduced.

Y/N looked up to take a look at her. Kika had a dazzling smile and has this certain aura that exudes her charmingness. Y/N felt that she should be the one asking for Kika's signature because she looks like a stunning goddess.

"I really love the way you write things and I used to read it with my boyfriend when he is not racing"Kika narrates.

Racing, its been a while since Y/N heard that. She completely cuts off that certain topic ever since she left Pierre.

"Oh that sounds like a fantastic way to bond as a couple"Y/N agrees

"Yeah and actually my boyfriend told me that he knows you. I was actually wondering if he is joking but I figured that maybe he is"

There was this sinking feeling in her heart but Y/N would like to think that she made some friends in the F1 grid so this may be their girlfriend. Or maybe her boyfriend is bluffing.

"He races? In what kind of race"Y/N asked,she was careful.

"Oh he does Formula 1, his name is-"

"Kika mon amour"

Y/N didn't have to hear the voice twice to know who that voice belongs to. She knows that voice very well and she couldn't believe her rotten luck.

"Pierre, we were just talking about you"Kika embraces Pierre.

Pierre was shifting nervously and Y/N suddenly realized that Kika doesn't know anything about the shared history between the two of them.

"Oh so you are Pierre's new girl" Y/N knew how to act "I'm so pleased to meet you and yes I know Pierre from childhood"

"See mon amour, I was not lying"Pierre teased.

"So you do know her, we should definitely set up a lunch or dinner together"Kika exclaimed "I can't believe that my favorite author is your childhood friend"

She has that bright and genuine smile on her face. It was that certain genuineness that Y/N makes her heart crack. Why did she have to be so sweet and kind, its so difficult to fault her of anything.

"Y/N is one of the best authors, I know" Pierre proudly states "She has a way of tugging hearts"

"Indeed she has, I remember that when I first started reading one of your series I was so hooked and I wanted to pattern my dream partner to how you write the character of.."Kika babbles.

And everything felt like fading in the background. But Y/N didn't miss how Pierre was looking at Kika so lovingly and so endearing while Kika was rambling excitedly. The heart that was once healed was getting torn up once more because of what's happening in front of her.

[yuugen-benni]

Non-proportional quantities

When you question the extent of their love - Odasaku, Ayatsuji, Akutagawa, Tachihara; A/N: ''But Why every post with Tachihara you bring up his past/spoilers ?'' BECAUSE I LIKE ANGST. shut up dude.

''Love cannot be measured'' Oda replies looking at you calmly. Although he was direct, he still takes a short time to contemplate your doubt, which honestly seems so small to him. But why small? Because as a romance writer he knows that love cannot be measured, so he reflects, weighing how he will express himself best

''But if I could think of a way to explain…I would say that not even all the books in the world would have all the words to say how much I love you''

His is so calm, his expression almost emotionless. You curse him every time he acts like a statue but evokes the words of a poet on his deathbed

Ayatsuji sighs, as if responding to a child asking something inappropriate.

"Are you doubting it just now?" The detective taunts, leaning back in the chair, arms crossed at stomach height ''or are you mad because I made you wear-'' Oh this mf knows too much-

''Yukito! It's a serious question'' Your words hangs in the air, for a moment then, with a small smile playing on his lips.

He opens the drawer on the left side of the table, taking out his pipe. He carefully fills it with tobacco, each movement unhurried. Lighting it, wisps of smoke begin to dance in the air, a aroma filling the room.

Turning back to you, he holds the pipe in his hand, his expression serious "When we smoke," he starts, his voice taking on a gentle cadence, "we inhale the smoke from the burning substance, tobacco, and then we need to exhale it." Ayatsuji takes a drag from the kiseru and exhale "If you were the tobacco in this pipe, I would certainly let you invade completely my lungs. Suffocating me. And I would die happy with your taste in my mouth."

Morbid. Suggestive. But a captivating answer. He shut you up, as always, after all, isn't that what he does to those who challenge him?

''You said you wanted to ask me something important…not that'' Akutagawa mumbles quite annoyed "I put up with you everyday, isn't that enough ?'' internally debating whether he should stay and listen to any of your arguments or leave without a headache.

The idea of extension of love is not new to him, It's not new to anyone who has ever experienced killing someone. Seeing you asking something so obvious in his eyes is stupid knowing that he would do everything, and he already does, so that no one would lay a finger on you, not even himself

''Am I that annoying ?'' you put your hands on your hips looking at him with a frown. He eventually he gave up, the persistence in your eyes makes him reconsider. With a resigned sigh, he rubs his forehead;

''Yes, you're that annoying, but if it makes you feel better, fine. I'd use rashomon to tear the world apart if it meant you'd be safe, okay ? Now please, enough with the clinginess''

''Are you drunk, [name] ? I knew I shouldn't have bought that coffee for you'' Tachihara teased reminding you of the embarrassing situations you always go through for drinking too much coffee, unfortunately for him that wasn't the case.

''If I hadn't drunk, we wouldn't be here, now answer'' you retorded with a quite firm tone. Tachihara wasn't someone of expressing his feelings although you know he loves you, not because of a simple ''I love you'' but because you somehow felt it. You also know that Tachihara was a good actor, a good scoundrel.

His gaze slowly shifted away, subtly conveying his avoidance of the subject. The answer was already on the tip of his tongue, ''the extent of my love would be due to the fact that I would trust you with the truth'', but wouldn't that be reckless ? risky ? Both for you and for his disguise.

Slowly, the morning sun began to rise, showing its radiance that you two were so happy to watch. He took a deep breath, slowing his heart and lowering his head, hoping that the great doubts would disappear when the sun fully appeared.

[neoputo]

Good Omens fanfic by yours truly

y'know, i'm honestly more of a poet than a fanfic writer. but today i woke up to a lovely cliche idea of what could happen when an angel and a demon meet again after the former left the other for quite some time, and thought i would give it a try.

if you'd rather read from the doc, here's the link!

enjoy!

The Meet

After spending quite some time in Heaven, Aziraphale finds himself ready to go back to Earth. He takes the elevator, pushes the button and waits. Though the trip down to the human world is usually a very quick one, Aziraphale feels like it’s taking an eternity; he’s trembling a bit, repeating to himself It’s going to be alright, it's going to be alright, in an effort to calm himself down. It actually doesn’t calm him down much, yet at least it keeps his mind busy.

It’s a windy afternoon, and the bookshop is awaiting the angel just the same as he left it. Clumsily, he trips over his way to the building, but manages to arrive in one piece (no miracles needed! Turns out watching out before crossing the street is rather useful). When he reaches the doorway, Aziraphale tidies his clothes up a bit and right before he knocks the door, Muriel opens it.

“We’re clo—Mr. Aziraphale? I-I wasn’t expecting you…” They’re holding a book in their hands, which are now shaking a bit, and their appearance is more human-like, with a casual pair of jeans and a brown sweater. “I was just leaving, were you… were you looking for something?” They ask, shyly.

“Is… Is Crowley inside?” Aziraphale wonders.

Muriel is about to reply No, and even if he is, he doesn’t want to see you, but a familiar voice interrupts them:

“Aziraphale? What the fuck are you doing down here, your… Supreme Archangel or whatever they call you these days” says the demon, in a sarcastic yet seemingly hurt tone. His figure remains in the shadows of the interior of the bookshop, hidden from Aziraphale’s eyes.

“I… Crowley, I was hoping we could… talk?” he mutters, as he tries to hide his tension behind a smile and sneaks a quick peek inside in an attempt to find Crowley, unsuccessfully.

“Talk? You remember what happened last time we talked? ‘Cus I certainly do, a—”, Crowley stops himself before letting the word angel slip through his lips.

“Well, and I’m certainly coming in” says Aziraphale, assertively, as he enters the bookshop. When he’s inside, his eyes and the demon’s finally meet for a slight moment, and if it wasn’t for the noise of the people and the traffic outside, you could’ve heard something breaking inside both of them. Crowley quickly puts his dark glasses on. He looks awful, like he hasn’t seen the light of day ever since Aziraphale left (which is pretty much accurate, except for that one time he left to buy another bottle of wine), and is carrying a blanket over his shoulders. He is wearing one of Aziraphale’s shirts, which the angel instantly recognizes. If he wasn’t so damn worried, he would’ve smiled.

“Goodbye, Mr. Crowley! And goodbye Mr. Aziraphale, I mean, Traitor!”. Muriel leaves hurriedly.

Aziraphale takes off his coat and makes himself comfortable, almost like he was at home. Sweat slides down his forehead and he is struggling to keep his hands still. Crowley stands against a column, and the angel remains still on the other side of the room.

“So… um, Crowley… how have you been?” he regrets asking as soon as he finishes talking.

“How have I been? C’mon, An…Aziraphale, cut the bullshit already”. The demon is fairly angry. Can you blame him, though?

“I’m sorry, Crowley…” Aziraphale begins to speak, “I-I know I’ve hurt you and that my decision to go to Heaven was rushed, but you have to trust me when I say I did so for the best… for safety reasons, our safety. And I sincerely apologize for the damage I have caused, oh, I spent day and night thinking of this moment, when I could finally come back, day and night thinking of… you”

Crowley stays silent, and he’s not sure whether he does so because he’s resentful and doesn’t want to, or because of the knot tied inside his throat as the result of swallowing down the tears.

“I know what I did was wrong” continues the angel, who doesn't know what else to say. He slowly steps forward in Crowley’s direction. “I…I hope you can forgive me”

The demon takes a deep breath before he starts to speak. “Forgive you?” he asks, “You leave me for Heaven for whatever reason, tell me nothing lasts forever when I beg you too stay with me, and then say I forgive you after I kiss you… and expect me to forgive you? You were the only person in the entire Universe I really trusted, the only one that made the mess of this world feel bearable and even fun to navigate, the only one I spent years chasing after with the intention to get closer and closer until we could be together for the rest of our time. See, I… hmm… I’ve liked you since I first met you… in Eden. And ever since the day you left me I’ve felt nothing but empty and heartbroken, yet a part of me was always hoping you’d come back and wake me up and tell me: hey, it was all just a very bad dream, even though I knew it wasn’t gonna be that easy. You cannot come back and restart like nothing ever even happened. You cannot show up, inadvertently, and pretend I will go straight to your arms and tell you everything you wanna hear. I’m not so sure I can forgive you at all… or, well, at least, not yet”.

“Oh, Crowley…”. Aziraphale, almost bursting into tears, steps closer to Crowley and stops himself right before extending his hands to reach the demon’s face “May… I?”. Crowley growls but briefly nods, like there’s something that won’t let him refuse; like he actually needs to be touched by the angel. Aziraphale raises his hands and gently takes Crowley’s sunglasses off his eyes. Underneath, he finds two watery yellow orbs staring back at him. The angel delicately wipes the tears off Crowley’s face, and then takes one step backwards. “I missed you” he whispers, “and I completely understand that you are not ready to forgive me, and that you might never will, so…” he exhales “I-I better leave now”

As Aziraphale turns around and heads to the exit, Crowley grasps the back of the collar of his shirt and stops him.

“I might not be ready to forgive you, but I…” he utters, and Aziraphale turns back “you don’t have to leave, angel. I… I also missed you”

Crowley lets go of Aziraphale’s shirt and when he’s about to step back, the angel grabs him by the wrist, pulling him closer, and finally hugs him. For a moment, the world feels lighter around the two of them, and time seems to slow down.

“I love you, Crowley, and I’m sorry I’ve been such a coward to say it aloud before. I mean, after all these years…” Aziraphale confesses.

“Over six hundred years, to be precise” replies Crowley, jokingly, though really not much, “and I, well… you already know this, but, I love you, too, angel, I love you, too”, he sighs. “Uh…” he continues, “wanna… wanna go on a picnic or sum?”

“Are you trying to… tempt me?”

“Maybe I am”

The End

[compacflt]

my apologies if this is too simple or juvenile or personal a question but HOW did you become such a proficient writer? and do you have any tips or pointers to keep in mind? i know you must do a lot of reading and a lot of writing, but your skill is just incredible to me. your prose!! your cadence!! when we get around to talking about it is genuinely one of the best things i've ever read and i'd eat it if i could!!!

this ask was so sweet thank you!! rly made my day when i needed a boost. Hope you don’t mind i took a couple days to think about it cause no one’s ever asked me for writing advice before

idk how i became a “proficient” writer bc I really don’t write that much. something about my fic gave me brainworms and i went into overdrive but that’s…not my usual MO. which is why it’s weird for me too. admittedly i am studying english/creative writing as my second major at uni, but i haven’t learned anything in any of my classes you couldn’t learn by just reading and writing on your own. honestly i should’ve stuck with my IR major instead, i find structured cw classes a complete waste of time. but here are some little tips i thought of that would’ve helped ME:

This is more a “do as I say not as I do” because I’m really bad at habits like this, but keep a diary. You can write about the big events (went to the store, did homework, got laid etc.) but that’s boring—focus on the details (watched someone at west side market throw a glass bottle of olives at a rat, broke a pen and permanently stained my dorm desk and won’t get my deposit back which pissed me off because I move out in a week, this guy’s breath smelled like lemon pledge and it made me wonder if he drank window cleaner before kissing me etc.). Real life is really interesting! How can you write about interesting real life in an interesting way? It’s a good way to practice. You don’t have to do a big reflection at the end of the day or anything. It’s okay to jot down something you saw & then immediately forget about it. It’s the act of figuring out how to translate life into words that’s important

If you type, learn how to type FAST. This is just my experience, but I think typing faster makes your cadence, clause length, dialogue, IDEAS flow better/more naturally. We think in words/sentences, not letters.

This is a super lame tip that’ll make you roll your eyes, but read poetry. Poetry is all about how words/ideas/images sound and interact with each other. Don’t get hung up on one poet—im not really recommending any for precisely this reason—read poetry you love (for me, Ada Limón, Jack Kerouac, Frank O’Hara, ghazals etc) AND read poetry you hate (for me, Rupi Kaur, Emily Dickinson, Whitman, etc)! Read all genres you can get your hands on. (I think there are like “great poetry anthologies” you can find for free online if u don’t know where to start. Also you can’t go wrong with subscribing to/reading a variety magazine like the NYer. It’s pretentious but it exposes you to all kinds of weird topics, ways of writing about them, etc.) Figure out how certain combinations of words and punctuations make you FEEL, and why, and why the writer chose (or not) to make you feel that way. Figure out which literary sounds you like and which ones you don’t. For me, i figured out that I REALLY like alliteration, comma splices, zeugmas, the rule of three, and

“he’s [verb]ing again… yeah compacflt’s characters are [verb]ing again… big shocker”

If you have an idea for a piece, figure out what it is you really want to get out of it—to say something? to experiment with a different style? to see your fav characters do something? to have fun?—and then figure out how, on a technical level, you should write to match that goal (this is where the poetry training comes in handy). If you’re just writing to have fun, don’t listen to any writing advice (incl. mine), because most of it is bullshit and over-generalized and will make you feel bad about yourself. Just take the advice that you think will work for what YOURE trying to write.

But if you’re writing to explore some political idea, then you should think about HOW to best write about that idea. What would be a convincing story/allegory/scene to engage with this idea vs. not convincing. I talk on this blog all the time about how disappointed I am that my very-adult-grown-up attempt to deal with the dynamic of “immovable internalized homophobia vs unstoppable falling in love anyway” is rendered a little childish/immature by some pretty unconvincing plot points like the characters buying a house together—I really should have considered how that plot point would interact with the characterizations I’d built already (hint: poorly). You can think of writing as kind of a military structure if that helps—you have strategy on the overarching campaign (plot/character growth/allegory/theme) level, the battle (scene that advances the above) level, and the tactical (sentence-level construction/syntax/wording) level. They all have to work together. If a scene is failing to properly engage with the idea you’re trying to convey, you’re losing a battle that will weaken the overarching campaign. Same thing if you choose a weird word in a sentence/write in a style or tone that’s weirdly out of place with your idea—it makes your engagement with the theme/idea less convincing. just try to be purposeful and consider your strategy on all levels of your work as you’re writing it!! At the very least it’ll make editing easier lol.

But then again when I read my own writing from just a couple months ago I cringe out of my skin, so like—just also accept that it’s a process and we’re all just making it up as we go along. Be proud of being embarrassed of your old work, because it means you’re growing. Own that shit. When I finished writing WWGATTAI i thought it was the best thing I’d ever written, and maybe it was. But since the day I finished working on it, it’s the worst thing I’ve written since then. That’s a great feeling. Not to be like writing grindset obviously bc it’s supposed to be fun—but if what you want is to get better at writing, the strategy is to WRITE a whole bunch of shit, and then own your embarrassment about how much you’ve grown since you started. And know you’re still always growing and learning. there should never be any “goals” where skills are concerned 👍🏽

[stars-and-darkness]

20 questions for fic writers!

many many thanks to @garglyswoof for tagging m

How many works do you have on ao3? 63. i need to calm down.

What's your total ao3 word count? 747 502. i need to calm down.

What fandoms do you write for? the vampire diaries, shadow & bone, avatar: the last airbender, star wars, marvel. also, that one suez canal x ever given fic, and that one goncharov fic.

Top five fics by kudos: A Queen's Gamble (you know it's an old one if the title is capitalised lmao), make them bow., the fate makes for a lousy poet., where the heart moves the stones, nyctophilia.

Do you respond to comments? i try. i am not very good at it, but every now and then i sit down, crack my knuckles, and go about emptying my poor inbox.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the end. is like ... the only fic i ever wrote that ended unhappily.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? see above, lol, literally everything else. i'm a wuss.

Do you get hate on fics? i mean ... not really? i would mostly classify the rude things i got as entitlement rather than hate. the impression i usually got was that those people liked my writing style, or the plot, or characterisation, or whatever--there was just one thing or several that they wanted to happen differently, and they felt the need to tell me that.

Do you write smut? looooooo, no, my ace ass would probably spontaneously combust.

Craziest crossover: i don't suppose i've ever written an actual crossover, but today i put dracula-the-historical-figure into the vampire diaries universe, so ....

Have you ever had a fic stolen? ... maybe? okay, strap yourselves: a few years ago someone asked if they could translate a fic of mine into spanish and post it on wattpad, and i said yes. (THIS is one of the reasons why i don't allow translations anywhere but ao3 anymore). they did, and they sent me the link. i linked the translation to my fic, the usual. then, a lot later, i actually went to check their post, and i realised that i wasn't credited though the person said they would. yaaaaay.

Have you ever had a fic translated? well, other than the fiasco up there, the incredible @winterandmistletoe, who made the edit that graces the beginning of make them bow., has two chapters of the russian translation of that fic up on ao3. there's also been an offer to translate The Manifesto of a Last Love into russian, but that one hasn't been posted yet.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? i have not! and honestly, i don't think i'd be very good at it. i'm a bit of a tyrant, so in an effort NOT to be perceived as such i'd probably be super lenient of whatever the other people came up with even if i didn't necessarily like it. i'm pretty particular in my tastes, and one of the things i love about writing fic is that i have nobody but myself to answer to.

All time favorite ship? ehhhhh, nooo, i can't choose between my children!

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? considering that tvd has had me in its claws for two years now, it feels unlikely i'll ever go back to my wips in other fandoms. you never know of course, but it feels that way. i mean. those unfinished wips don't exactly haunt me, but sometimes i remember them and feel awful about it, lmao.

What are your writing strengths? i'm told i do dialogue and humour well!

What are your writing weaknesses? ughhhhh probably action? it's so hard. oh! and my tendency to describe how a character's eyes look in every other sentence.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language? SO fun fact that dracula fic that i posted today? the one where half the dialogue is in french? i had originally written it all IN FRENCH, and then decided to take mercy on my readers and just put the english translation into italics. yeah. anyway, rule of thumb, ig: if the pov character understands what's being said, then english in italics (or if it's just a sentence or two the spoken language with a footnote). if they can hear individual words, then the language that's being spoken, without translation. if they hear only gibberish--maybe they're super unfamiliar with the language, maybe it's being spoken very fast or with an accent--then just 'character x says something in z'.

First fandom you wrote in? marvel, for my own peace of mind. star wars is the first one i actually posted for.

Favorite fic you've written? again, you can't ask me to pick between my children.

tagging: @morningstargirl666 @kirythestitchwitch @helpless-in-sleep @marxandangels @purplesigebert @darkestgrays @averseunhinged

[bettsfic]

Hi Beth! I’ve tried to get a couple essays/poems published in literary magazines, but it is always so painful to get rejected, and I’m wondering if it is even worth it to continue pursuing publication. Do people even read the stuff that comes out in literary magazines anymore? There are a few that I read occasionally, but honestly, it feels like a waste of time and emotional energy to read and submit to magazines that in the long term won’t really change anything for me.

Should I just keep writing and posting stuff to my own social media/blogs instead?

that's a great question! the answer depends on your goals.

if you want to get into an MFA program...

lit mag publishing is helpful but not necessary to get into a good program. moreover, part of what you'll be doing in the MFA is learning about publishing, so you'll be doing that work there anyway. the MFA is also for exploration, so if you don't really have your own aesthetic defined yet, it makes sense to wait and focus on your writing sample for your grad application.

if you want to become a creative writing professor...

hands down, if you want to be in academia, you need to be well published. submitting is more or less a part-time job. rack up those CV lines.

(for this you'll also need an MFA, so that's the first step regardless.)

if you want to get an agent and publish a book...

lit mag publications can be helpful when querying agents, and once you sign an agent, those publications will help them pitch your book to editors. it shows that you've been through a formal editorial process on a smaller scale before venturing to one on a bigger scale. in some ways, if it helps, you can see lit mag publishing as practice for book publishing.

if you want to be read...

write fanfic.

what i mean is, you're right, other than like The New Yorker and Granta and whatnot, lit mags don't tend to have a wide distribution. if you have a greater readership and more meaningful interaction on social media, then it makes sense to share your work with the audience you've already built.

however, if you get published in an online magazine, you can have the best of both worlds: it's a formal publication *and* your existing readership will have access to it. also, if you're publishing poetry, a lot of my poet friends screencap the poem from the publication and share it on social media. but i'm not a poet, so i'm not sure what exactly the etiquette there is.

if you want to make money...

hard stop, you won't make significant money publishing in lit mags. you could make significant money pitching articles to news outlets and regular magazines, though. a lot of writers make a career on that.

if you want to live the writing life...

what i mean by "the writing life" is the big picture of things. it's not about publishing, it's about everything. when you choose the writing life, you're choosing to put your writing above all other things (professionally, i mean. lots of writers have families and a social life).

the writing life is a gamut: you get an MFA, you maybe get a PhD, you teach, you publish, you edit, you apply to grants, you keep up your CV, you get some awards, you go to residencies, and so on. and once you get a book out, you get ARCs, you blurb, you mentor, you do readings, you go on book tours, you do interviews.

and if that's your goal, lit mag publishing becomes occasional but eternal. you're settled in for the long con and so you don't have to push so hard. for me anyway, i only submit when i come across a magazine i like. i spend most of my submission and rejection energy on residencies and grants.

i went to a talk by Mary Gaitskill once and someone asked her if publishing ever gets easier. she said that book publishing gets easier because you can become established and gain an audience, but lit mag publishing is always hard. she's one of the most lauded living American writers, and she said she still gets lit mag rejections.

if you've finished something you're proud of and want to find a home for it...

this is why most writers publish, i think. it's less about clout and prestige and whatever else, and more about putting your work on a shelf and being able to say, "this belongs somewhere that it can be seen and appreciated." i have a folder in my drive called "homeless stories" and it's full of pieces that i either tried to publish and gave up on, or stories that i didn't feel like sending out. i have probably 10x more original work that hasn't seen the light of day than work that has.

if you hate the idea of sitting on a story or a poem, then keep looking for a home for it.

if you want to avoid rejections...

there's no way to avoid rejections. they're inherent in any pursuit where your work has to go through a gate of approval. but i promise you, rejections are meaningless. your favorite author has received a thousand of them. a rejection means your work didn't suit the taste of the editor, and when you receive a rejection, it's helpful to remind yourself that their taste probably sucks. a rejection means your work met a slush reader who had a headache that day and wasn't reading closely enough. a rejection means a magazine got hundreds of submissions and maybe you made it to the longlist or the shortlist but you'll never know because not all mags tell you that. a rejection means that maybe one of the editors fought hard for your piece and lost.

handling rejection gets easier as you accumulate acceptances. every acceptance you get means some editor somewhere read your piece and vibed with it, and values the work you're doing.

in short:

stop submitting if you feel like you're not ready to publish, or

keep submitting if you're ready to and you're in it for the long con

and in closing, i'll tell you what every professor and mentor i've ever had has told me (and which i hated to hear): publishing will always be there for you. there's no hurry.

[sevens-evan]

Three of the writeblr ask game questions for you:

22. FORCE - What do you use to write?

24. GREED - If you could steal a character from any other story, who would you take?

30. LOVE - What is your best writing advice?

force: okay i'm a little obsessive about this. i outline in google docs and write drafts in apple pages and then the drafts go back into google docs if i need a beta reader. but if i'm outlining a one shot or just a much shorter fic i use the notes app to outline (pages to write still tho). i cannot do any of these things any differently or my brain explodes.

greed: this is a difficult question—like steal a character to use in my original writing (which has been pretty much abandoned for years now?) or from a different fandom to use in fics? i wouldn't do the latter because random characters from other properties making cameos is one of my biggest pet peeves with fics and even if i was still writing original work actively i don't think i'd be that interested in doing the former. my original work was always semi-autobiographical anyway.

love: i honestly don't know if i have any other than Just Write. even if you're not feeling particularly inspired or if you're insecure about the quality of it. you just gotta actually write.

i guess in addition to that, if it's available to you, take a class on poetry. or read a lot of poetry and read about poetry if a formal class isn't accessible. if you have a good teacher and good poets you learn to think about language in a very different way than you do writing narrative prose and imo it's invaluable for growing as a writer.

writing asks

[hotluncheddie]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

ty @steddieasitgoes !! this was fun!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

16!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

26,316 (wtf)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

steddie / st only 😤

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Tiny Green Shorts 

2. Seasons change, but people don't.

3. extra credit

4. that's when boys kiss

5. pretty boy

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YES! i luv comments! its one of the best parts of writing anything and makes it extra fun! its connecting with people!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

mmm i don't really like angsty endings. i guess Little Lamb has the most general angst but tbh that's not even gonna be a sad ending once its done - its gone have a lot of hope. maybe just high masking but again the connected part is comfort heavy

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

everything :) happy endings only in this house! 🍓 is maybe the most good vibes all the way thru piece

8. Do you get hate on fics?

its honestly a dream of mine to get cyber bullied one day, so no but if anyone wants to u can just this once

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

ya - mmmm mild d/s dynamics and graphic descriptions of bellies :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

no - sometimes i think about doing like film inspired steddie but idk if i'll ever get around to it (like school of rock au or dead poets society au)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no???

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no! but that would be cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no :) i think having to consider someone else's schedule when writing would be stressful - i am slow

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

steddieeeee 😤👌🫡💪

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i'm working on a openly bi steve / queer eddie fic and it needs a lot of editing and keeps growing and it could honestly never get done but i really hope i work it out one day (i wanna incorporate music into the like theme of the scenes somehow but i dunno if i'm capable enough for it to be good - plus rewriting is hard bc what's there is good its just not right for this)

16. What are your writing strengths?

i like to think i can write my rancid sewer goblin dream boy eddie munson pov well

and maybe dialogue, or like metaphors?? i also have a thing about rhythm when i write so hopefully that come through, like pace and flow of sentences or whatever.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i have like pictures in my head and i never know how much to describe, like do i go full setting and facial expressions but then that feels like too much so idk. but ye that - the stuff around the dialogue

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i dumb baby i wouldn't even try bc it would just be google translate n that's embarrassing

19. First fandom you wrote for?

this one! i only lurked before hehe I've used ao3 for like over 10 years and this fandom was the first i ever wanted to make anything for

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

uhhh i think unmasking is very dear to my heart. but also Seasons change, but people don't. just bc its still my longest fic to date

that was fun! no pressure tags!! and sorry if you've already been tagged don't be mad a meeee!!!

@pearynice @numinosmoon @2btheanswertothequestion @flowercrowngods @aringofsalt @scarcrossdlvrs

[birlwrites]

🎢, 🍦,💖,🤗,😬, 💔, 🤲?

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

oh, definitely career goals: tyrant - it's unhinged from chapter 1 and only gets more so

🍦 What’s the sweetest fic you’ve created so far?

i was torn so i picked 2 afslghjksdf - the first one is sun and shadow, aka the pjo au, and the second is the point of creation, which is a check please fic with lardo/ransom in which lardo is a composer and ransom is a poet and they make art for each other and it's very soft

💖 What made you start writing?

hmm i don't think there was ever a set Moment - i've always been coming up with stories, and i'm p sure my parents have some picture books/graphic novels/comics/idk what to call them drawn by yours truly at age <5. i started actually like, typing stories in a word processor in about 4th grade because my best friend was writing a story and i wanted to copy her

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

3 things: first of all, try not to jump straight into posting your stuff somewhere like ao3. get a feel for what you like writing and what makes you happy before you start introducing things like 'how many people kudosed my fic today' - there is SO MUCH fic out there, and it can be very hard to build an audience/find your people, especially when you're just starting out. there's no reason to demoralize yourself right away. build up your sense of what YOU like before you start worrying about whether other people like it. (sharing your writing with your friends is different - they're your friends, not faceless internet people ashfkjhsf)

second of all, it's important to make sure that you're actually enjoying the process. writing fanfic should be fun - if it feels like a chore or an obligation, it might be time to step back and see if you've accidentally turned it into a job instead of something you do solely because you enjoy it

third of all, writing a complete fic beginning to end is a skill in and of itself. don't expect yourself to just sit down and bang out a multichap fic with flawless pacing and an amazing ending. that's something that requires practice. the best way to practice is to finish what you start. you don't have to finish absolutely everything - as i said, this should be fun - but just be aware that if you want to complete your fics in a satisfying way, you need to practice writing complete stories. one-shots are a great way to start!

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

ohhhh man

honestly, the entire concept makes me wince, but tbh probably lachrimae. i feel like that's the one most likely to inspire the 'why aren't you writing original stories, you should be writing original stories' reaction

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

i have a few, all regulus angst - we've got implode--, survived by, and happy birthday, which i wrote when i was ~15 and, if i do say so myself, KILLED IT.

implode-- is about sirius rescuing a mostly-dead regulus from the cave, survived by is about sirius finding death eater regulus after evan's death (there's a theme LMAO - that's a fic i wouldn't be able to write these days, i'm too attached to evan now), and happy birthday is canon-compliant snapshots of regulus's life from age 11 to age 18

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

ABSOLUTELY. HERE'S LACHRIMAE

-

Voldemort says, "Do you consider yourself a fighter, Regulus?"

It could pass for conversational—silk floating on water. He hisses the tiniest bit on Regulus, a tiny whistle of air after precisely pronounced syllables like an ice cube against the back of Regulus's neck. Regulus's mask gleams at his side, awkward and useless in his hand—he can't put it on, but he can't put it away, and so there it stays, a glimmering ghost in the sun.

What sort of answer does Voldemort want? He doesn't want Regulus to fight, he wants to keep his Seer safe, but there has to be a reason he's asking, a reason he called Regulus in the first place.

Regulus doesn't consider himself a fighter. He's... flexible. He bends, goes around instead of through. Fire and brimstone have always been more Bellatrix's thing, and Voldemort must know that.

"You," Voldemort says, "have a habit of responding to my questions with silence."

Great.

-

send me fic writer emoji asks!

[missingn000]

ASJSHSVDJODKDVSIDKFBFBWJDBFBD So... You made that post about describing your writing style and l had a lot of feelings about it and you just gave me an oportunity to infodump and congratulate.

For me, your writing style is like you are both describing a scene and showing us its most intimate meaning. Like, you are writing what is happening as any good book would do but at the same time you are describing the feelings we would experience if we were seeing this on real life.

Your fight scenes are probably the BEST ones l have ever read. Not because you explain how they move, but you describe how would we feel seeing them fight (In tpg chap41, when you describe the domains, *chefs kiss*, even better than seeing Gojo's domain on the anime).

Your dialogues are witty and intelligent, you always end up making a pun that leaves me rolling in the floor, and then you make a statement to show the tragedy/beatuty of the situation that breaks me a little.

And to top it all you always use a vocabulary and descriptions and comparisons that l wish l could emulate.

If l wanted to describe your writing style as you would... It's like you are both a painter, giving us enough about the scene to know exactly what is happening but without giving too much details. And at the same time you are like a surgeon, carving open through your characters and themes so that we see exposed their core and their souls. You show us exactly what they feel and how, how your narrative intertwines their threads like a beautiful tapestry, but then you show us the other side and it's still the same character with their found family and everything they do boils down to the basis of their personality. But you do it in such a way that you may as well be a poet, writing in verse a melody where every chord fits its place creating an harmony that echoes through the dome and filling your ears with its sound.

Maybe this got out of hand, but l like how it turned out and l've barely been on the discord lately because of the exams, so l think you deserve to know this ;)

I like your writing style

WHADDAHELL I LOVE U??? YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY this is seriously so sweet!! you're basically touching on everything i try to do as a writer: showcase a scene both physically and emotionally through words. fight scenes are my FAVORITE thing to write, and i had a blast describing both sukuna and getou's domains in chapter 41. dialogue is also really fun for me, and witty banter between the characters always leaves me giggling too. but showing the emotional/dramatic side of the characters is equally important, and i'm so thrilled to hear you think i successfully weave them together!! connecting the characters, themes, and imagery in this story has been very challenging, but even more rewarding, and i'm honestly BEAMING at this message. seriously made my day. THANK YOU SO MUCH MWAH

[latibvles]

Sort of a public PSA? — on commenting.

This is a thought after, once again, having a conversation and while yes, commenting is important, I feel like there’s also something else we should be saying:

If you can’t compliment a writer without bringing down another, don’t say anything.

And I’m talking about this in specific because this is what I see most often. I’m not going to screenshot this because it’s on other people’s works and I am very lucky to not have received comments like that on AO3 (which is currently the only place that I have published work), but I’ll do an imitation of what this looks like:

“Wow, this is a great story. All those OTHER stories just make the main character SO PERFECT and it’s just sooo unrealistic.”

This isn’t the compliment you think this is.

It’s very backhanded and the comment really could’ve stopped at the first sentence. Or, even better, comment about what you liked about the story you just read and not what you disliked about other people’s stories.

And maybe this is just a me thing, but writers are also readers and readers read comments, too. And reading negative generalizations made about what could be your particular ficwriting niche isn’t the greatest feeling.

Throwing in a read more because this got long.

“But Poet!” I hear you say, “I REALLY don’t like [insert thing here] and this is the FIRST time I’ve seen it very well-written!!”

Okay well for starters, I highly doubt that there’s only one (1) author who writes that thing well. Also, you can SAY that you enjoyed it without putting down other people in that particular genre. It’s not about what you do and don’t like, it’s about uplifting writers verses putting them down. “I usually don’t read ______, but I really enjoyed this!” Is such a kinder way to say it — and it doesn’t include insulting others in a fandom space.

Ultimately, the comment section exists so you can compliment and otherwise give feedback to the writer. It really, really isn’t a place to vent about your experiences with “bad” fanfiction. I haven’t gotten these comments on AO3, but I’ve definitely got them on Wattpad and Instagram. Most of the time it was never because of genuine love for my writing — it was just because they wanted to bring down others who were writing similar work.

We talk about commenting and supporting writers a lot but what should that look like? I can’t speak for everyone but this is what it looks like for me.

Keyboard smashing, screaming, all variants of “HOW DARE YOU!!” are well accepted and definitely make me smile. If you’re worried that something comes across wrong I’ve memorized tone tags — feel free to use them! I use them with all my friends and in comments when I want to ensure my intent comes across correctly.

Essay-long comments (and subsequently 20+ tags of rambling) are also accepted. Seriously. They spark joy. It’s very kind. Thank you for quoting the details and throwing them back at my face.

Criticism is okay when it’s asked for. I’ve got like … a definitive group people I’m comfortable with reading my work and giving feedback on it when I’m unsure of my own writing. I’m doing this for fun. I don’t need a bunch of compliment-criticism sandwiches, yanno?

If you’re going to tear down someone else’s work — keep it to yourself. You don’t usually read OFC fics but you really like mine? Cool! Tell me that! But don’t insult all the other lovely OFCs in the process. You usually don’t read childhood friends-to-lovers? I’m so happy that I’ve been able to reel you in. But keep the comparisons to yourself.

I honestly see it more than I see people just going “this sucked” on a piece of writing which also isn’t great, but the former is way more common.

“But Poet!” You say again, “I’m entitled to my opinion aren’t I? I’m allowed to dislike things!!”

Yes, you are! And you can have and share those opinions! Just maybe not on a work that isn’t even yours. A ficwriter does not know you hated all the other work out there to understand that you enjoyed theirs. I am someone with very strong Writing Opinions. And I am either sharing them HERE, on my blog, where it can’t really hurt anybody since it’s not like I’m targeting somebody — or I’m getting on a soapbox to my friends for an hour about it in a group chat. Which I think we should do more often.

Remember “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all”? Lets bring that back. Stop with the backhanded compliments fellas. It isn’t cute.

[mediawhorefics]

hií 💗 for the ask game, what's your favourite fanfic of all time?

oh god i read in so many fandoms this feels like an impossible question dhjfjfdg i'm gonna cheat. is that okay? can i cheat? there's no way you're getting just one. sorry not sorry djbkndkjgbd

i guess if i'm answering 100% honestly, it would prob. be not easily conquered which, for those who don't know is a stucky fic and one of the most beautiful pieces of writing i've ever read. some of the quotes from this fic are seared into my brain and i fear will never leave me.

in the 1d fandom tbh it's still tif. i think to me tif is a perfect romcom. i've never read a better one. it's funny, its heartwarming, it's genuine, the miscommunication is handled very well and that quote that describes trying to explain something traumatic that happened to you young as 'like a fish trying to explain what water is' stayed with me for over a decade. it's exactly that. that's exactly what it feels like... i love this fic sm. it's just as good as everyone says and i think its criminal that some newer fandom peeps haven't read it. i can only aspire to be that kind of writer.

i recently went on a spuffy binge read ad discovered summerfrost's works and i have been in absolute awe of their characterization ever since. their writing knocked me the fuck out. nothing safe is worth the drive (follow you home) is prob. my fav but everything i've read from them has been a masterclass in character study.

the poet dean fic is another work that i think is a game changer. if you're remotely interested in deancas/spn this fic is stunning and it features original poetry by the writer that is just.... gorgeous. it makes me want to write poetry and god knows i am not good at that rip.

cinderwings is another spn fic that's ..... incredible. it's such a creative au that perfectly mixes elements from canon and from fairy tales to create something totally new that feels fresh and different. not to mention i've never read a character pov of a quote unquote creature that actually felt like i wasnt reading a human character. it's done so well.

four letter word for intercourse . its the best smut heavy fic i've ever it. its deancas. end of.

i recently started reading good omens fics and Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach ??? w o w. just.... w ow. if you've read the book/watched the show and loved crowley just a little bit... read this. it's an outsider pov and it is so compelling, it's almost impossible to put down. which is a pretty herculean feat imo considering it's all through the eyes of a stranger. its basically crowley in therapy through the eyes of his therapist. incredible.

back in the old days i read a lot of merlin fics and the student prince still has SUCH a special place in my heart as a comfort fav... it's so funny and heartwarming. the perfect magical uni au. it also has an amazing podfic read by the author.

wastelands is probably my favourite star wars fic i've ever read. it's only 9k and ft just before the sequel trilogy leia crash landing on some abandoned world and getting help from a force ghost to repair her ship only to realise it's anakin. it's just.... a beautiful beautiful character study and a look into their relationship and it ties in with some kylo stuff.

you could dress this wound is a tsn fic where mark starts seeing pain as light on people and develops some empathy/starts seeing the world (and his relationship to eduardo) differently as a result.

best practices in workplace relationships is nothing special. except its heartfelt and funny and i've read it countless times over the past ten years. so many times. it's the assistant wardo fic. it's fun. i love her.

also anything that @helloamhere writes but ESP the anakin/padme/obi fic she wrote partly because of me.

i think thats it... like... off the top of my head today right now.

oh and i guess.... if it's not arrogant to say it ? maybe tts ? just... i'm very very proud of it and it's very special to me. i dont think its better than any fic ive listed here but it is one of my all time favs because it was a big labour of love from me.

[thatwouldbee-enough]

😅🎢🎶🛠⛔🌞❌💲🧐🎃🦅👀🤗💞🤲😬⌛ anyfandom!

Ahhhh thank you so much for this! Sorry it took a while there were so many to answer <3

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

Anything from the very very early days of my AO3 account lol. They weren't bad but there's definitely so many things when I go back and read them where I would write things a lot differently now

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Oh man. Interpreting wildest ride in two different ways here.

1 (craziest/most disturbing): Let Me Crawl Up Into Your Mind

2 (wild ride plot-wise): Fate and the Fall

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

Yes!!! Some songs from recent writing playlists:

this is me trying by Taylor Swift

The Cause by Tommy Lefroy

Paul Revere by Noah Kahan

reckless driving by Lizzy McAlpine

Letter to an Old Poet by boygenius

Partners in Crime by FINNEAS

tolerate it by Taylor Swift

Colorado by Renee Rapp

You Could Start a Cult by Niall Horan w/Lizzy McAlpine

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

So many 😬

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

Honestly either early in the morning right after I wake up or middle of the night lmao. Middle of the night has given me some of my best writing for real but at what cost

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

I don't like to say never on any tropes because I think with the right idea any trope can be done well. Some things that I tend to stay away from are heavy mental health fix it style stories because 1) I don't feel qualified enough to write that well and 2) I don't find them super interesting usually. Exploring darker storylines is always more fun for me, or mayyyybe the occasional fluffy romance lol

💲 Would you ever open commissions?

For fanfiction based on someone else's intellectual property, no, because there are legal issues there. For writing in general maybe, but I don't see a huge market for that

🧐 Do you spend much time researching for your stories?

Way too much time

🎃 Do you write fics for certain holidays? Which is your favorite holiday inspired fic?

Occasionally! Maybe Sleigh Bells Ring for a favorite. Most of the holiday pieces I've written have been very fluffy lol

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

It's a mix. Usually seat of my pants, but if I have a lot of details worked out in my brain already then I'll outline

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

I have a TBOSAS piece that I'm working on where Coriolanus's punishment after cheating in the Games is to be sold as a sex worker (similar to how Finnick was in THG series) rather than being forced to enlist with the peacekeepers and he ends up with Strabo Plinth as a client.......

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

I cannot recommend enough just... doing it. Everyone worries so much about it not being good enough, but just like every other skill, you'll never get better without practice and just doing the damn thing over and over again.

Also read a lot. Read fanfic and actual books. You pick up a lot of things as a writer when you're reading other people's work. Sometimes you'll see certain ways of writing dialogue or inner monologues that you love and want to incorporate into your own writing. Sometimes you'll see things that pull you out of the story or don't flow well, and you'll learn that it's something you don't want to include in your writing. All of it is useful.

And MOST importantly, please please please learn how to properly format your dialogue 😭 (this is just a pet peeve of mine, but SO MANY fics don't have proper dialogue formatting)

ex: "This is the correct way to format a spoken sentence," she said sternly. "When you write a spoken sentence followed by a dialogue tag, the dialogue tag is PART of the sentence, so you should end the 'spoken sentence' with a comma, and then add the dialogue tag (starting with a lower case letter if it's not a proper noun), and then the sentence ends."

"This is correct too!" she exclaimed.

"This is also correct," she explained, "because the dialogue sentence hasn't ended, it was just interrupted. When dialogue is interrupted, but the sentence hasn't ended, the dialogue tag is surrounded by commas, indicating a whole, ongoing sentence."

INCORRECT EXAMPLES:

"This is not the correct way to format a spoken sentence." She said, crying a little bit on the inside.

"Neither is this!" She exclaimed.

"And neither is this." she sighed, rubbing at her temples as intentionally writing dialogue incorrectly began to trigger a headache.

💞 Who's your comfort character?

For Hamilton/Amrev, it's probably Hamilton. Sorry, basic bitch answer.

For TBOSAS it's Sejanus <3

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

A snippet from the TBOSAS AU with Coriolanus and Strabo Plinth that I mentioned above 🙈

But fighting? Fleeing? He thought back to the arena. The way his heart had pounded as he smashed at Bobbin until he laid unmoving on the ground.  He refused to let that sort of response control him again. He was better than base instincts. Especially here. This wasn’t life or death. All he had to do was play things smart, and he would come out on top again eventually.  And then everyone who ever tried to make him feel small would pay. 

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

Literally any of the smut lmfao.

But specifically the Henry Laurens/Alexander Hamilton fucked up intern AU, Let Me Crawl Up Into Your Mind, and A Royal Affair are probably all up there for top contenders

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

Highly dependent on a lot of different variables (what I'm writing/whether it requires research/what else is going on in my life/level of motivation and focus/etc). Anywhere from a couple of hours to a month lmao

[daisychainsandbowties]

I love your writing. I love how vulnerable you allow the characters to be. I love how you make ugly things beautiful and pretty things holy and reverent. I am extremely thankful for you and all that you do.

But I'm curious:

Are there any writers/works that you would say have had an influence on your style?

crying and crying. honestly yes! ugliness is very beautiful to me it’s very human & vulnerable & good to be ugly & i think life tends to be very imperfect & messy but we can be very beautiful (and yes, holy) inside of it.

hmm so first thing is that i’m mostly a poet & i came to that in my usual way which was deciding one day to teach myself how to Poetry. i figured it could not be very different from math and lo & behold it was not very different from math

i grew up using recitation of poems as a calming technique so those certainly influenced how cadence occurs to me, patterns of language (some poems were as gaeilge). some of the poems i memorised growing up were Dulce et Decorum Est by Wilfred Owen; Ode to a Nightingale by Keats; a whole bunch of Dickinson & especially Persimmons by Li Young Lee. the waste land by ts eliot too. i did adore shakespeare & how easy it was to commit to memory in iambic pentameter.

but then when i was 16 i decided to ‘git good’ at poetry (i was, in fact, very bad at it for many years to come) so i picked up Ariel by Plath & a load of Anne Sexton. Richard Siken too. and i read those books about 50 times each. could never read them too many times.

realised that poetry should be kind of like eating good food or having good sex. an experience that bears repeating.

so yes Sexton & Siken especially i think are explicitly influential to my style. also recently have learned a lot from Ocean Vuong (Night Sky With Exit Wounds but also please read ‘Not Even This’. listen to Ocean perform it) oh & also very recently impressed with Hull by Xan Phillips, & Danez Smith’s ‘don’t call us dead.’

language was made for puncturing & those poets know how to turn a sentence, a stanza, a turning of thought into a lung collapse, a harpoon.

i do firmly believe that it’s pointless to mimic style. it can happen that other words bleed into yours but it should be an accident, like the mirroring of language that forms the basis of so many interpersonal movements. language IS an exchange but we all bring something to the table.

& again it’s food - personal and cultural and loving and it’s about need and want and desire and death (food & death so tenderly intertwined in so many cultures). so i think reading good writing lends you instinct; the ability to look at what you make and know if it is good or at least true and therefore ‘getting there’ and therefore beautiful in the attempt regardless of imperfection.

i believe in purple prose and also Just Saying Things & i really think (i teach creative writing sometimes at uni) that i can bring out beautiful writing from anyone. it’s not always about skill it’s about heart, and then skill creeps up on you. i can always tell when someone is just performing writing and when someone has a story to tell.

so like!! the #1 thing that has influenced me is learning to love the way that writing makes me feel (powerful, stupid, profound, unoriginal, death-defying, mortal). i think reading so so much & just internalising different language-textures helps a bunch! i get so much inspiration from reading textbooks, wikipedia articles, random journals & i think poetry even if you are not & don’t wanna be a poet is very good at showing you the bones and sinews and connective tissue of meaning.

i am also so influenced by sci-fi & fantasy. particularly the Book of the Ancestor by Mark Lawrence (more gay nuns lmao) & N.K. Jemisin with The Broken Earth trilogy. 'the slow regard of silent things' specifically by Patrick Rothfuss (not a person to learn pacing from but astounding at sentence-level). also i am very influenced recently by This Is How You Lose The Time War. as a kid by Garth Nix (particularly Lirael, Sabriel) & artemis fowl.

of course on that note it’s usually the non-literature things that inspire actual writing from me. it’s principles in physics or math or thinking about Voyager 1 or philosophical questions that actually produce the sort of rabid pursuit of meaning that writing is. truly immersing in curiosity is an excellent way to approach making art. it's about reaching out & touching for a moment the fabric of everything - & you might find it is wet & sticky or dry and dusty or soft or that it hurts your hands to touch, but the chasing of meaning is worth it, & making meaning is divine.

i hope that is (somewhat) of an answer

[themollyzone]

for alan

My friend Alan died about a month ago. He was one of the first friends my then-boyfriend Chris ever introduced me to. I was coming from my friend's apartment in Manhattan and I met Chris, Alan and their other friend Matthew at Beauty Bar in Park Slope. It was a freezing winter, the first one I remember really disseminating the term "polar vortex," and I remember I was wearing snow boots and a big lumpy sweater. Not exactly dressed to impress, but I needn't have been worried about impressing anyone. The conversation flowed easily, and I felt included. I remember thinking, "Wow, Chris has such smart and funny friends." Alan was witty and warm. I was charmed by him immediately. Now Beauty Bar is closed, Chris is my husband, Matthew is my dear friend, and Alan is gone. I'm not sure if I've ever felt so old. There are stamps on the narrative that won't wash off now. It's a moment like this when the outer layer of the universe gets peeled back and you see the grinding gears of loss underneath, powering everything in secret the whole time. Soon after I started dating Chris, Alan moved back to California, where he grew up. We saw each other over the years in New York and in LA, and stayed in touch on Twitter. In some ways, I feel like I knew him better online than off — his writing was where I felt like I really was able to understand him fully. He was a writer and a poet. He had a Substack called Take Surface Streets where he'd write about Los Angeles culture and history through the city's geography. He had the sharpest mind and the most unique way of describing things. Chris was saying how it's wild that people might not even know how influential he was. Secretly influential — that's the power of Alan. He's the reason you all use the term "softboy," and the reason brands try and mostly fail to be funny on social media. He was down with the sacred and the profane: he could bust out the most gorgeous prose about some heady and romantic scenario, and then you'd remember his handle was @iluvbutts247.

He cared about people. He cared about people who everyone else had left behind. He fought for those people, literally. There's no other way to describe it: he was one of one. Like, look at this tweet. He just tweeted this out one night:

We had just been emailing about a project of his. He had been publishing these great little pamphlet zines — one of them made it with me from LA to NYC and back here in a box of books, thank god — and he was going to publish a new one, and asked if I wanted to write about music for it. I responded enthusiastically: yes! Actually I just looked at the email and I wrote "YES!!!" That someone like Alan found my words worth printing on real paper...it made my whole week, honestly. I was going to sit down and bang out out the piece the night I found out he had passed. I was going to write a few short blurbs about different local musicians who I had been randomly meeting out and about, because I thought he'd like that: people meeting people, in person, in Los Angeles, city of dreams, musical and otherwise.

It's weird that I feel like I owe him some copy. I thought about writing what I would have written for his zine, but I didn't want the musicians I'd write about getting unwittingly tied up in grief for someone they didn't know. I thought the best thing to do would be to take surface streets, as his newsletter suggested, so I went on a walk from Highland Park over to Glassell Park. For walking music, I first played Elliott Smith, who he wrote about in his newsletter — songs from Figure 8, the first record he made after moving to Los Angeles and the last record that came out when he was alive. Elliott Smith has always been a favorite of mine because he's totally unstuck from time. He'd already been dead for a year by the time I got my hands on XO my freshman year of high school, and his music sounded like it could have been made at any point in time in the past couple of decades. The arrangement on "Junk Bond Trader" is still one of the coolest things I've ever heard, with its layers of sound gracefully bowing to each other before getting out of the way.

Then I thought I'd be silly and play early Red Hot Chili Peppers, enjoying the juvenile funk of some Cali dirtbags with jester's privilege. It's funny how "Los Angeles music" can mean so many different things. Walter Becker from Steely Dan said that LA had a "laboratory-like sterile atmosphere to work in" — spoken like someone who has spent a lot of time riding around in a car, the ultimate sterile atmosphere. Dry AC, carefully calibrated stereo. Once you start walking, you start catching the real vibe of a place. Alan knew that and he celebrated it.

"Out In L.A" banging in my headphones, I turned around at the Glassell Park recreation center, where teenage boys were running dusty laps, and the pool was subdivided into lanes and sparkled sapphire, looking almost drinkable. I admired the Glassellland sign, a new sight to me. When I went home I looked up its origins: an artist named Justin put up the sign three times without permission, and after three teardowns, it finally stuck, with the help of a little local politicking that shepherded its status from "vandalism" to "public art." Ain't that just the way, I thought, smoking an imaginary cigarette.

It was hot, 85 degrees, with perfunctory sunshine curated by the "Visit California" tourism organization. Cold in New York, hot in LA. We were going to hang out when he came back to the city. "cannot wait for you to return and show us ur fave sights" was what I had emailed him. I'm honestly just lucky that he left a paper trail, and now I can follow it on my own.

When someone dies, especially someone young, you often hear some version of the sentiment of "I wish I had told them I loved them more," or "I wish I had told them what they meant to me." I understand this feeling, of course. It is only natural to want to go back in time and express your adoration to someone who's no longer here, and one of life's silliest jokes on human beings is the essential impossibility of communicating the entirety of your emotions to others: saying exactly what you mean, hoping they precisely understand.

And I can even look at our tweet history and see the times when I did tell him I cared about him, which is a strange gift of modernity: receipts. The nuance and near-misses and unsaid stuff, though — that's the friction that keeps everything humming. That's where the poetry is, painful as it may be. And I believe that when you think of someone after they've left this earth, they can feel it, wherever they are. And I believe that just thinking of them and remembering them will honor them, and will let them know, on some kind of quantum, cosmic-dust level, what you didn't say enough when they were alive. I believe that, because I simply have to. Alan, I'm going to remember you forever, I'm going to be reminded of you forever, I'm going to tell everyone I know about how cool you were for the rest of my life. Every time I see someone post about how sad they are that you are gone, it makes me sad but it makes me happy too, because that's another person on my team: Team Alan. Another person who gets it. I hope you are resting easy now.

To close out, I'm reprinting a bit of a post he wrote on Take Surface Streets back in February of this year about addiction, and deaths by overdose. It seems right to repeat what he wrote as I'm writing about his own passing, and if you read this, I hope you take his words with you — like everything else he wrote, they are true, and they are on fire.

When we lose a brother or sister in this community it is so often silent and secret. The cause of death isn’t mentioned right away, not in the news or the Instagram post captions. There is an ask of respect for the family’s grief. Of course! And then later we find out. Like it was some dark shame that should be hidden and snuffed out from community knowledge. But part of harm reduction is destigmatization. Not bullshit platitudes like “check in on your friends,” but screaming out loud: if you are a drug user, if you are shutting down your depression with opiates or anything else, I will help you. I will accept you and love you. Carry Narcan and carry hope. I don’t mean to sound like a sappy son-of-a-bitch, but we will hold each other when no one else will. The silence we seek in quieting our awful thoughts is the only silence that should be struck out when one of us dies. None of us are alone—and the culture of cutting out this part of our lives abandons those in need.

I won't be a party to it.