#honestly introduced the ramblies tag for people who just wanted my art but to the best of my knowledge no one actually uses it?

[foldingfittedsheets]

i enjoy your antics so much that i forget i didn't follow you specifically for them

i enjoy your art so much i followed specifically for your comics

whenever you put your art on a post involving antics there's a second where my brain goes "woah, ffs the person with amusing life stories and ffs the artist with fun comics are the same person? :o"

this has happened a couple of times now

it amuses me every time

I fucking love how hard it is to categorize me, honestly.

I love when people look at different aspects of my art and go "That was yours?!" Or like, people have followed me for my writing and then see a comic and are like "That's you too?!"

It's a true a delight. I am an enigma. What a joy to my trickstery little soul to be so confounding.

[happypot0001]

⚠️Most characters belong to @just-a-carrot!⚠️

Hello! I’m bored, I wanted to draw, and I like you!

*Gives you Hunar x Bucks (Belongs to @just-a-carrot) fan art doodle*

Go support @just-a-carrot, the creator who made the amazing game “Our Wonderland”!

Lots of love to anyone reading! 💕

Rambling -

Hello! So, I included a cut in this post because I realize that I kind of talk A LOT about my process with art, so to make my blog more…scroll-able(???)…I decided to add a cut to make my posts look shorter! Also, if there are people who don’t really care about the process, this is for them as well! Under the cut, you’ll most likely see me talking about the art, how it came to be, and extra doodles (If there are any) !

If you have been following along with my Tumblr, you’ll see that I previously mentioned before that I had been busy from July 16. Well, not anymore!!! IM FREE!! Honestly the thing I was busy with was SUPER fun but I’m extremely exhausted after it. I’m glad I can finally focus a bit more on making some art! It has made me so happy making art for people and seeing them happy with the art I make them! 💖 I love posting my art on Tumblr really like almost everyone I’ve interacted with online has showed me nothing but kindness! I cant name these people because 1. I don’t want to bother them by tagging them in my post and 2. There would be WAY too many names pfft. Just know that I appreciate everyone and I’ll be trying to post! 🥹

I want to talk about why I did Hunar and Bucks! Im just going to say, Hunar and Bucks are probably one of the only straight ships that I actually kind of like. When I first played “Our Wonderland”, I hadn’t known that it would be a queer game! So when I got introduced to one of the first canon couple that was (kind of) straight, I was like “huh, oh well” and I kept on playing. THATS HOW GOOD THE GAME WAS!!! 🥕 GAVE ME A (AGAIN, KIND OF) STRAIGHT COUPLE AND I STILL PLAYED!!!! Nothing wrong with straight couples in general, I want to establish that pfffft. I just anyway like Hunar, he’s a cute lil’ guy! Don’t look at the feet, I had struggled with those pffft 🤣 Also, officially my first time drawing Hunar!!! I guess this is also officially my first time drawing Bucks in doodle form???!!! If you hadn’t noticed, I had put Hunar in the clothes that he had at the very end of the game because I REALLY liked how he looked there <3 I put Bucks in her normal clothes because I thought they looked better than the softball ones only because I’m imagining that they’re just at home cuddling. And then when you expand on that, you would think “Well, why is Bucks wearing her softball clothes if they’re just chilling at home?” You know? Pfffft

I knew that after I was done with the thing I was so busy with, I wanted to have a drawing/doodle to post. So, I was thinking of who to draw and I was getting into like couple stuff. It was like Cecil x Orlam and Genzy, but those ones are really special ones. So, I decided to leave them for another day! Like, I have a TON of “Our Wonderland’ ideas that I want to do! But, I’m REALLY REALLY slow so if you want to see my ideas, you sadly have to be patient 😭 Like Orlam is honestly invading my mind why is he in there???? I also had another doodle idea that I DID create but decided not to make it the main post because I thought it was stupid and you’ll see why:

“Uhhhh….Pot? What is this?” You may ask. Well, since I was so tired after my thing, I had been wanting to draw myself tired! Does anyone else do that? Like, if you’re crying or you’re happy, you want to draw you or someone else happy or crying? That’s literally me pfft! I’m not going to call this my sona, I’m just going to refer to this character as “me” because I don’t have a definite sona yet. This is temporary so don’t get too attached pffft. I just thought that I’d include her because I drew her anyway so….enjoy????

Uhhh anyway this is just a collection of silly doodles upon my arrival so I hope you really like them! Just one thing I wanted to point out since I can make the topic about Hunar, did anyone notice the hair clips in the Art Fight attack I did for 🥕 were based off of Hunar’s hair clip?? The story is that Bucks invited Gidget over for a sleepover because Hunar had been out for something, maybe something to do with his books, and so Bucks came up with the idea to have a no boys night! Gidget had brought some hair clips because they’re prepared for anything but Bucks was probably like “No, we should take this opportunity to steal Hunar’s hair clips while he’s away” because she’s a mischievous little thing and I guess somehow Gidget obliged pfffffft! I’d love for anyone to leave a comment if you did notice the clip thing! I thought the little detail would have been noticeable but if it wasn’t I wanted to point it out now! I appreciate anyone to took the time to read all of my ranting heh!!!! Again, go support @just-a-carrot, the creator who made the amazing game “Our Wonderland”!

Have a wonderful day/night! Again, lots of love to anyone reading💗💕

[whyiask]

HAPPY NEW YEAR

There are so many people I’ve met on this site, so many friends I’ve made. I joined tumblr only a few months ago, but my life has already drastically improved. I smile more and laugh more and I feel happier all the time, knowing that you all are just a click away. I’ve often heard people refer to tumblr as a hellsite, but I don’t fully agree with that. True, some things on here are crazy, but more than that, I’ve found people like me. I’ve found people who understand me, who think like me and feel like I do. Ya know, before I joined tumblr, I had never met another bisexual person(crazy, right?). Y’all have made life more enjoyable and happier and brighter, and for that, I’ll never be able to thank you enough.

I have soooo many people I have to thank, so I’ll try to keep the list of people as short as possible: all my closest friends and all the people who have been amazing and I have loved seeing since I joined tumblr earlier this year <33

@one-neat-nerd you were the first blog to ever follow me, and I don’t remember if you were the first blog I followed, but you definitely were in the first 10. You were a wonderful introduction to tumblr, and I love everything you post/reblog. We’ve never really talked, but I still want you to know that I appreciate you.

@warblerjeff you’ve changed your url more than 3 times since I first followed you, and it always takes me a second to recognize you aha! But when I do, I’m immediately have a rush of happy memories- all your Glee posts and all of the Glee content I get from you. We’ve never really talked, but seeing you on my dash is always so amazing.

@jesussavedevenme aha hi! We’ve never really talked, but you were one of the first few blogs I followed when I first joined tumblr, and I know I tagged you in a lot of stuff at first (because i didn’t have any other friends lmao), so sorry about that! 😅 You’re really cool and I hope you have an amazing 2021.

@strawberry-seraph we haven’t talked in a while, sorry about that! Talking with you is always super fun, you’re a fun person and I hope your having a great day! You were one of the first TLC blogs I followed and you were definitely the first actual friend I had on tumblr. Thanks for being so nice to me <33

@cerenoya Ceren... where to begin. We haven’t talked a whole lot, but you are such an amazing friend and super kind when we do! You were my first tumblr idol for so long, because I aspired to be like you/run a blog as cool as yours!! Have a great 2021, you deserve it.

@cindersnightmare I felt very distant from you when I first followed you. You were just so COOL and your artwork was so GOOD, I didn’t know how to approach or even begin to express my love for your work. When you followed me back, I tell you, I was s h o o k. We’ve never talked, but I consider you a friend, is that okay? You’re amazing, keep being amazing <33

@books-and-starss oh gosh- I don’t even know where to begin with you! I love you so much, first of all!! So, so much. I love talking with you, you’re really sweet and ahhhh your writing is SO GOOD!!!! You are a great beta reader and so eager to help me- it just warms my heart that you would offer up your time to help me. Everything you reblog is so positive and encouraging and awesome, it’s so nice to see that kind of stuff on my dash. All the aesthetic pictures you reblog are super cool and pleasing to look at. I absolutely ADORE seeing you on my dash every day. <33333

@dylxn-lee aha hello there!! I first met you because you were one of Abi’s friends, but now I’m in your fanclub and ilysm. You’re really cool and nice and deserve to have a wonderful year <333

@theaberrantone ahaha for so long I pronounced your name wrong in my head- I just want you to know... I see you. I see you every day, liking every single one of my posts. I see you in my notifs many times a day and I just- wow. It means so much to me, I am honestly so touched that someone as cool as you takes the time to scroll through my mess of a blog and like the things I slap into it. You’re amazing and someday I aspire to be as cool as you <333333

@mochiowo-20 hi there :333 ilysm, and we haven’t talked for a few weeks, and I haven’t gone through your blog in a while, but I STILL LOVE YOU SO MUCH. You are amazing and ily. Your so sweet and cool and ahhhh you deserve to have the most wonderful 2021 ever. (i love your blog aesthetic btw) <333

@teawithhoneyharper I know you’re taking a break from tumblr for a while, but if you do see this, then I want you to know that I care about you so much. I love you Darcy, and you are amazing. I hope your mental health is getting better and I hope life has been better to you <33 ilysm, take care of yourself, and have a wonderful new year <333

@fablehavenfandom hi there friend!! Your posts are amazing!! I love your writing so much!!! and all your headcanons are beautiful and I 100% think of them as canon now. I hope you’re having a great day, and I hope you have a great year <33

@fairiesandstarlight omG your posts are all so cool! You’ve got a beautiful blog aesthetic and I love everything you post!! I hope you’re having a wonderful new year love <333 wishing you the best

@maya-livingstone hi there!! you’re a very, very new mutual, but I hope we’ll be able to get to know each other and become friends over the course of this new year!! I also just got the Renegades series, and I’ve noticed you like that, so hopefully we’ll be able to talk about that soon!!

@pluckycluckyducky hi plucky!! It’s Joy from the nevermoor server. we haven’t interacted on here very much, but you’re really cool and you should know it. have a wonderful 2021 <33

@fablehavenandfandomsfanatic hi there!! you had to break for a while, but you’re back now and I love all of the things you post! Have a great year <3

@fablehavenfangirl you’re really cool! Everything you post/reblog is great and I enjoy just scrolling through your blog when I’m bored. You’re amazing, keep being amazing <3

@renegadenebulahufflepuff heyyyy! how are you doing? you’re amazing, we haven’t talked much but you’re really cool and I am wishing you only the best for 2021 <333

@bookishfangirl14 hey there!! I love seeing you in my notifs!! we don’t have very many overlapping fandoms at the moment, but you’re still really cool and I love looking at your blog (even if i don’t understand most of the posts). aha, i hope you have a wonderful new year <33

@introvertedtater-tot hii! we don’t talk much, despite having a LOT of overlapping fandoms, and I don’t know why. Let’s fix that this year, shall we? I hope I can get to know you more, you’re amazing and sweet and i hope we can build up a solid friendship in the coming months <33

@devils-on-a-stereo oh my GOD. Okay, honestly? I am still s h o o k that you actually follow me, I mean, c’mon. Your art is literally the coolest thing ever, and I am honored to know you. You deserve way more attention as an artist than you have, and honest to god you are the coolest most  i c o n i c  blog I know. Stay awesome ;)

@its-liiinh-cinder-official heyyy there!! You are literally a top-notch comedian, I aDORE all of your ‘linh cinder’s random posts’. They are hilarious and your stories are hilarious, and you seem like such an amazing and chaotic person. I wish i knew you in real life, you would be so fun to hang out with. i love seeing you on my dash every day, and you’ve got such a v i b e going on. Have a beautiful, wondrous, and magical 2021 darling <333333

@just-another-freaking-dreamer it’s so awesome to see you in my notifs all the time. You’re really cool and you deserve cool things. Have a wonderful new year and I hope we can become better friends and interact more <3

@ragingbisexualcore ahhaahah you are the single most chaotic person I know. If you lived in a book, you would FOR SURE be that one character who is dead set on overthrowing the government and cackling madly as you take over the world. You are amazing and I hope you take your chaotic self and go wild in 2021.

@queenofsassgard hey there!! I hope you know that occasionally I just go scrolling through your archives and liking everything- anyways, you’re amazing and I hope you have a wonderful new year!

@elysian-starbucks-frappe heyo! what’s up? I hope you’re doing great, you deserve to do great. You’re super cool and amazing and ahhhhh you just deserve to have a wonderful 2021. ily and have a great year <33

@as-the-stars-foretold Caelum. You. Are. Fantabulous. You are my mother, you adopted me into this weird, chaotic friend group, and I will be eternally grateful. You love the stars and I love listening to you ramble about them in the server. You’re so passionate and strong and I love that about you. Life wouldn’t be the same without you. You might love stars, but you yourself ARE a star. You are a star, you shine brilliantly, and you are too good for this galaxy. We don’t deserve you. I love you so much, and you deserve every single goddamb good thing in this universe. You’re always there, ever present, and I love you so. much. Please stay your fantabulous self and I wishing on every star I see that you will have the best 2021 ever <333333

@carolinelikesdinner Carol. God, I have so much to say to you. First of all, thank you. Thank you so much for being you. You first introduced me into the big wide world of the Fablehaven fandom, and ilysm. You’re so cool, too cool for me, and I treasure every single conversation I have with you. You’re so funny and an amazing artist. All of your art is SO DAMB SPECTACULAR. You are gorgeous, your art is gorgeous, and your writing is gorgeous too. Take care of yourself love, stay safe, and have the best 2021 you possibly can <3333333333333

@operation-crown-jewels Caraaaaaaaaa ilysmmmm <3333333333333 I love talking with you and I love you so. freaking. much. I can’t even- I can’t even describe how much i love you. You are so special and sweet and supportive and I just can’t- you have NO IDEA how much that means to me, how much all your little comments mean to me. You are amazing, and special, and ahhhhh. You are SO special. So unique. And I’ll never find another friend like you <33333333333

@addies-invisible-life hey emma :3 You are actually the coolest person I know.You are so capable and smart and beautiful. You are kind and supportive and you are open to everyone who talks to you. You love with all your heart, and I love that about you. In everything you do, I can see the love behind it, the work and effort and love that you put into it. Every conversation I have with you lifts me up and energizes me(which is really rare because most conversations tire me). I still, after all this time, still can’t believe that a person as amazing as you even chooses to be friends with me. I love you so much and I will never stop loving you. You deserve the world, but I can’t give you that, so just take my reassurances that I will ALWAYS, NO MATTER WHAT, be here for you. ily and have a wonderful 2021 <3333333333333333333333333333333333333

@arushahisatroll my god. Ru, I love you so much. You are my internet girlfriend and I care about you so much. You are incredible, honestly. Your art is immaculate and you’re always so cheerful and fill me up with energy just THINKING about you. you always eager to commit arson, which is a very good trait, and I love plotting crimes with you. Every time I see your icon, my face lights up and I internally scream, bc “oh my god someone as perfect as ru exists in this world- i didn’t know that was possible.” You are the best, you are the absolute best, my bestie, and ily. Have a spectacular and immeasurably awesome 2021 <333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

@starry-tea-party Abina. Abina you are my rock. You are my light, my star, my sunshine, my galaxy. I love you so much, I can’t even begin to describe it. I don’t know if I can do justice to just how much you’ve helped me. Words... words have never been my strong suit. I love writing because I can weave stories together, piece together words I like to form sentences, and use those sentences to form narratives. Writing has always been easier for me than talking.... because in writing, I don’t have to worry what others will think, or how others will perceive me. I select the best words, and I present those words- the words I meticulously chose and nit-picked- to the audience. Life is a stage, and I have never been great at improv. I often find it hard to tell people things, to convey my meaning in the best possible way and to know exactly what words I need in any given situation. Talking is hard for me. But with you... with you, I never have to monitor what I’m saying. I never feel the need to reread and reread my messages before sending to make sure everything is in perfect order. It’s... it’s easy to talk to you. It’s easy to speak and I don’t worry when I’m with you. You make me feel so at ease, and I love you so much. I don’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing, because I know that you’ll always support me and be by my side with a kind word and a heart of gold. Because that’s who you are. You are a creator, a dreamer, a lover, a visionary. You’re a friend. You are the hand that pulls people out of the water. The light that shines the pathway. You are the rock- the mountain we stand upon and look out over the beautiful sea. We look down at the seas below us and say, “how have we climbed so high already?” The reason is because you stand so tall, so bright and so magical, that we climb, we climb and we look out at the world below us. Not only are you tall, strong, powerful, but you lift people up right alongside you. There is nothing like the high of seeing the world stretch out beneath your feet, swinging you legs through the open air but knowing you’ll never fall. You represent that high in my mind. You represent and you remind me of the exhilaration of feeling untouchable- uplifted by love and kindness, able to reach heights you’ve never been to before. There is so much that can come when someone extends their hand to you. So much more can be achieved when there are two, holding each other up. You have held me up for so long. Every since we met, you have brought a smile to my face at the thought of you. Every time I think of you, my heart swells and I can’t breathe. Every comment you make or put on something I post has me screaming internally ans smiling uncontrollably. Whenever I see your icon I know my day is about to get one million times better. So thank you, Abi. For being my rock.

[petekaos]

2020 creator wrap + a follow forever

rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

hiii hello everyone! sorry it’s taken me so long to get on this BUT it’s all for good reason! i thought i would combine this post into me sharing some of the works i am most proud of this year as well as spreading more love in this wonderful little community because i truly love you all tons and being a part of such a lovely group of people has made me beyond happy this year. it’s been a difficult year for all of us and i’m just so glad that i can give back the love and care y’all can give to me 💛

onward to spreading love to people who tagged me, in no particular order! thank you all for tagging me, it means so much and know that i have read through your posts at least twice with a smile on my face.

@wjmild: kylie!! you constantly surprise me with how kind and insightful you are, as well as your dedication to watching absolutely every show with lee thanat in it. you are so smart and educated and every time you talk about your research and your studies i can’t help but feel so incredibly proud of you. i really hope life brings you the peace and fulfillment you deserve. i love you!

@gigiesarocha: cata - it is always such a pleasure to see you on my dash. i can rely on you losing your shit over ingredients every two weeks and every time i see jeff doing things it 100% reminds me of you! you possess such a kind soul and i’m so glad to have had the pleasure of following you this year :’)

@yihwas: sometimes i still can’t believe you know who i am and that we’re grouped together, soph! your blog is such a refuge to me, i adore scrolling through your replies and laughing at all the witty things you say. you are simply so kind and thoughtful in your responses and criticism and you have such talent in gifmaking! i am forever grateful to you for introducing me to new lakorns and to you and shannon for creating @lakornladies​. 

@morksuns: sumaya! my url twin! i absolutely love seeing you on the dash, it really is that trans desi solidarity, no? your moodboards are always so aesthetic and your blog is so soft and calm. i see you sending such lovely asks to people, including myself, and i truly admire your personality so much!

@gayvlad: nico, my sibling! i love you so much and seeing you on the dash always makes me smile. sometimes you’re too hard on yourself, but that’s okay, because i’m always here for you. i loved your reactions to dbk in live time, and that you’re now as attached to the show as i am. we love a lot of the same things, and i’ll forever be grateful to you for indulging my headcanons and developing them with me, like the ram and bohn friendship. the ram fic of him finding the gym as a home was developed through much of your influence, and i’ll never stop being astonished at how kind and supportive you are. i love you! 

@khaotungthanawat: saaaam! your gifs are always a beauty to behold. i admire you so much for making those bl compilation gifsets because that takes so much patience and dedication, especially to find all the moments. i can always count on you for underrated gifsets, too, and i smile every time you send me an ask!

@tanwirapong: roa! oh i adored getting to know you better this year through the gifted gays gc. i remember still when you made a post about there’s an art to honesty and it truly made my day - i sent it to my partner and best friend and they were so fond as well! i will always be so happy about the fact that we both lose it over petekao every now and again, it means the world to me :’)

@emisfritish: your wisdom and way of expressing your thoughts will never fail to amaze me, emma. i can always count on you for calling things like they are and writing out well-worded, thought-provoking posts that express everything i have ever thought about fandom but could never quite write down. it’s such a pleasure seeing you on my dash and honestly, whenever i see tay, he reminds me of you!

so that was everyone who tagged me, for which i am eternally grateful! (if i missed anyone... i am so sorry ily...) now onto me rambling about how much i love specific people in the fandom generally that i haven’t already mentioned.

@earthfluuke: maddie... where do i even start. getting to know you this year means the absolute world to me and i love how many thoughts we can share together and how many aus and ideas we can plot out to the finest detail, but i also love how we can talk about serious topics and irl issues affecting us both and know that the other person will be there. i admire you so much for going on and persevering despite the many difficult factors in your life right now. know that i will always be there - to listen to you, to support your gifs and fics, to develop characters with you, to weigh in on problems or ideas you have. i love you!

@asianmelodrama: faiza!! i can never address you without immediately adding ‘jaan’ after it honestly. you are a sister to me in all things and knowing you has been such an honour. your wise words, your calmness in dealing with things, your infectious excitement - they are all facets of your personality that i both admire and adore. whether it’s getting angry about shitty muslim rep or freaking out about a movie, i know that i can always count on you to be there for me if i ever need it. i hope light and love touches your life always, and you find peace in everything you do. if i ever happen to be in england, i am definitely coming over for your chai :’) i love you!

@yioh: yura my laddoo! i say this all the time, but i simply am so grateful that we met. i love seeing your tags on my posts and i just... adore seeing you doing your thing on your blog, your posts always make me smile. i know school is hard right now, but know that i’m always rooting for you and believe in you completely. words cannot express how happy i am to have found another tamil lgbt person who can understand the same experiences, it really does mean everything to me. and know that i will begin reading tyk soon, i promise, and i’ll tell you all about my thoughts! i love youuu!

@1akorn: shannon!! i still cannot believe people group us together because i’ve always admired you from a distance - imagine my absolute surprise when i found out that you followed me! i 100% rely on you for the good mek content and love your gifs so much. you’re so articulate and speak your thoughts incredibly well, which i truly admire.

@brightwin: jelly - you already know the amount of love and fondness i hold for you. you’re such a kind and bubbly person and your personality shines not only through your tags and responses to people, but also through your gorgeous gifsets that are just so warm and lovely. i can always rely on you to give me updates on all things related to brightwin and 2gether. you’re wonderful!

@yibobibo: aamna! i know i can always get my yibo content from you, and i adore it. i love seeing updates about your bunnies and your kind responses to your anons, you truly are a ray of light! you’re also one of the fairly concentrated cql blogs i follow - and for that i am always grateful.

@metawwin: ali! your gorgeous gifs are always such a light on my dash. i remember once you called me ‘rahulito’ and it made me so soft. your voice and songs are so lovely and i don’t even know where to begin thanking you for sharing your art with us. i know it means a lot to me, and it means the same to many others.

@taytawan: nuriaaa! i remember seeing you so often in the petekao tag and i gotta say that your sets of both petekao and sarawatine, especially the heart eyes series, always make me so soft. and of course, the fact that you gifted me this wonderful url! i will always be thankful for that and for your general kindness and warmth that you bestow upon everyone.

@piningbisexuals: axelle! although we don’t talk that much, i always love seeing your gifs and your thoughts on shows on the dash. i’m wishing you all the best with your thai classes and hope that everything goes well with you! also, you should know that i read that manboss fic you gifted to me at least once a week because it just means that much to me - and i’m so glad i got you into this little silly ship of mine. 

@sunsetchimyeon: nene, my pk anon! i love seeing your asks in my inbox and writing essays as replies. having conversations with you was one of my absolute highlights and i’ll always be blown away by how kind and calm and supportive and patient you are! i hope life is treating you well, my friend.

@toptaps: zey!! oh i love seeing your gifs and kindness on my dash and know that whenever i see toptap in anything, he always reminds me of you! also your gifs of sammy? absolutely gorgeous!

@giftedgays: i love you all SO much it is truly insane. being part of our tumblr gc that evolved into a discord server with a thousand channels has been one of my 2020 highlights. i loved yelling with you all about tgg every week and i must thank you all for sitting through my chanonpom breakdowns every second day. 

in particular: 

@pangwave - dawnie, i love you! i admire you and your no bullshit attitude so much. i know you’re going through a process of change right now, and i could not be prouder of you for persevering through it, regardless of the painful and strange circumstances we find ourselves in. i have full faith in you, and i know that you got this. we’re all here for you! 

@doctorbahnjit: - alexa! i still remember when you wrote the first manboss fic and an anon sent me a link regarding it. you are genuinely one of the funniest people i know and you deserve the absolute world. i read out of the blue every day, no kidding, because it means so much to me! thank you for being my fellow chanonpomer, my fellow manboss-er, and just being an all around ray of absolute sunshine.

@gunatps: vee! i have already embarrassed myself enough in my post to you but it’s worth repeating. i adore our eden chanonpom breakdown sessions, which we should have again soon when you have time, and i love us roasting modi in the chat, it truly cracks me up! we have so much in common and i just want to say that i am so proud of you for studying and taking your exams - i know how difficult they are. 

@wavelovespang: cass!! how i adore your analyses and breakdowns of scenes and relationships, you have so much insight and wisdom that you spread in such thoughtful ways! you’re so supportive and kind and such a great teacher, i know that. your writing is so wonderful and i’m truly so honoured that we all get to read it, it’s a gift!

@class2clown: angel! i cannot say this enough but i admire your art so much, it’s so so beautiful! you’ve always been so kind and lovely, and just like with cass, thank you so much for organising the gifted week events! although i couldn’t properly partake this year because of time constraints, i loved seeing everyone’s creations and it was super thoughtful.

@soulmatelines: i’ve said this before, jo, but it must be said again: i cannot believe you thought i was cool. i’ve always adored your gifs from afar and you’re such a sweet person! i love love love talking with you in the kpop channel (even if you personally hate 3racha smh), and you truly do bear the novel agenda! i’ve learned about so many more novels i must read and for that i am so grateful :’) 

@billkinpp: violet, i will never fail to crack up at a) your and kylie’s plans to run away and get married, and b) you having a thousand sideblogs and complimenting yourself on your own gifs in the tags, as you absolutely should! i hope the next year is kind to you and that your sleep schedule isn’t too fucked up :’)

@vihokratanas: mel, i will always be in complete awe of your gifs! they are always so clean and crisp. i remember still when you were fondestphan and my phannie days flashed in front of my eyes fhsnfg but either way, you’re so kind and sweet! 

@pvrrish: eleni!! i don’t think i’ve ever told you this before but i’ve always loved the 2gether poster that you made, i sometimes go on your blog to look at it for like 5 minutes, it’s truly so beautiful! i hope you’ve had an okay year, all things considered, and that life is kind to you!

@lee-thanat: another leesbian, ke! y’all always crack me up in the lesbians for lee thanat channel truly. your simping for ms ladda is so valid, i miss her so much honestly. i hope that the coming year is kind to you, and that you find the peace you deserve!

okay, so i think that’s everyone that i either talk to regularly or admire a lot! in case i didn’t mention you, please please feel free to reach out to me because i mean no offense at all - my brain is small haha. would also like to shout out all my anons who send me asks and bear with my late responses these days because of life, i adore you all and i love answering your asks.

if you’re still reading after this... whole monster of a post, i’m just gonna quickly mention some things i’ve been proud of either writing or making this year. in no particular order:

1. my weary heart has come to rest in yours. this is a fic i wrote in an... interesting headspace, and i was really going through my chanonpom feelings at the time. i’m really proud of how it came out and i adored writing chanon through pom’s pov. also i kinda love how i tied in p’bird’s song prip dtah in with the fic because i adore the song and it fits so well with them.

2. petekao week 2020. i guess this is sort of cheating, because these are technically 7 fics, BUT. i am actually proud of myself for writing seven, and i think they’re all of fairly good quality. i just really love this little universe i created for the dbk characters after the show and this whole week was just so warm and lovely to be a part of.

3. this set of num and prang from a gift for whom you hate. this moment really stuck with me from the finale and i actually am really proud of the colouring and how it came out! i think the blues really popped and i managed to lighten this dark ass scene without whitewashing mek or aye. the fireworks gif also is one of my favourites i’ve made! num and prang’s whole relationship was so pure throughout the entirety of this show, i adored them. 

4. but love is impossible and it goes on despite the impossible. this is the longest fic i’ve posted so far and i’m super proud of it - it’s also my most well-received fic. the yunmeng brothers mean the world to me and i just... wanted to write about jiang cheng and his love for his brother and give them a somewhat happy ending, in one future at least.

5. there’s an art to honesty. i think i really nailed my version of kao in this work! i just really loved writing this fic so much, especially because it was right after the whole ‘scandal’ with new happened. i was really just finding a way to separate kao from him, and i delved into my feelings with this fic as well, because i relate to kao in multiple ways. either way, i thought writing this fic was fun and a lot of people loved it too, which made me so soft!

if you’ve read this far, i personally adore you! while this has been a difficult year, i am blessed to have been part of this loving community, and i really hope that next year will be kinder to us all and give us good shows and discussions! i love you all. stay safe and stay kind, friends 💛

[oh-theres-a-woman]

Flowers in a Peaked Cap; Part One

A/N: Heres to attempt two at writing this author’s note… Let’s just say, I haven’t perfected the art of saving drafts. Note to self to actually find out how to make the draft before losing three solid paragraphs of rambling about the story… Sophie Points; Nil. Laptop/Internet Points; One. Welp, honestly internet and laptop have won a hell of a lot more than that. Just don’t remember how many times I’ve lost work because of not quite understanding how to post on here…. Safe to say I’m still a noob. 

Any hoot! Enough rambling about that stuff. 

After posting the first piece to this story; in the very very early hours of this morning. I couldn’t help but feel the massive urge to continue and work on the more of Tillie’s little adventure. It made me want to think about her as a person outside the relatives that we already know. What this girl’s goals are and ambitions. Unlike the rest of her family, I think she has a relatable amount of vulnerability and anxieties that are more from society’s working in the 1920s compared to her brothers; Arthur, Thomas and John that all suffer war-related mental illness and scars.   

Actively she’s a romantic escapist that wants to make her brothers and aunt proud. Making a name for herself in the means of writing and exploring the tales that are brewed from the memories of old days. 

In the progression of this story, I want to be able to explore the growth in Tillie as a young woman. The stepping out of her brothers’ shadows and coming into her own. Growing into a more confident young woman that could be from meeting new people like in this chapter and moving away from her fears. 

I do see romance in this story, something like and full of all the trend first experience one faces at one stage or another. In terms of smut, I’d think it’s lighter and would be something that is worked towards. Tillie to me doesn’t seem rather lust-driven. So, it’ll happen if it does, and if not; its simply because Tillie Shelby isn’t interested in that sort of thing. 

Important note; I’ll be working on organising the Taglist a little more throughout my next few posts. Please notify me if you’re interested in anything specifically and want tags there or if you mind just being on the general tag list and included in every story I post. Thank you!!!  

Requested By; @csigeoblue​

Parts; [ Prologue ] 

Taglist; @zodiyack​, @itsfrancisneptun​, @amys-small-world​, @fandom-fucking-shit​, @hesagod-notyet​, @hinagiku0​, @dylanlover24​, @amirahiddleston​, @a-dorky-book-keeper​, @theamuz​, @csigeoblue​, @smallheathgangsters​, @beautycinders 

Word Count; 1400

Watery Lane wasn’t the play that supported the wild fantasy’s of Tillie Shelby, but the little bookshop that was filled with many hopefuls or lads that were born a little more well off collectively grouped together. Reading the stories they wrote. This gathering was apparently one that caught the attention of the paper since the known publishers and well-off lads from another book club around England had found themselves doing a sort of travel for their source material. 

Since the profile of this club of prolific writers had taken interest in the area of Small Heath and its inhabitants. Inviting upstart writers or aspiring tellers to come and meet them. So, onward the youngest Shelby strolled until she pulled open the door of the quaint little bookshop. The signal of her arrival was the sound of her kitten heels and the ringing of the bell on the door. Doe-like blue eyes that were like the crystal-clarity of the purest of water found themselves settling on a group of well-dressed gentlemen.  Her eyes flicker between some faces she knew of Small Heath, most of them being the arseholes she went to school with and thought themselves privy to a better life. 

It wasn’t that Tillie didn’t believe they weren’t welcome to it. Mostly, it was the way they treated people in order to get there the young woman didn’t quite agree with. She was rather foolish coming to her though since her brother’s had a very vision about how the Shelby family should be seen. Their measures to getting things done with it were also less than admirable. Perhaps, it was the fact that Billy Bronson, James Fitz and Joe Gilbert made hers and Finn’s school life a living hell one way or another. But, it also made it seem extremely unfair to talk to their older brothers about what happened. Since most knew better than to fuck with the kin of the Peaky Blinders. 

Plooms of cigarette smoke clouded in the air, filling the bookstore with a spiced herbal infusion and rippled tailored sticks of tobacco. Moving her gaze from the lads she knew; to the new arrivals. The youngest of the Shelby mob offered a little smile. “Is there room for one more?” Tillie finally spoke up, pulling her book that contained the novel she had poured hours and hours over. Smiling hopefully. Arms hugging the expensive leather made book that her brothers banded together in the hopes for a lovely birthday present in the days before the war. 

Hoping that she’d fill in with various things she enjoyed to draw, but instead, Tillie hadn’t touched it until she was old enough to respect things. Asking Aunt Pol to help her keep in a safe place until then. Scraps of paper were best for sketches in any case. 

Eyes ever hopeful looked at the posher sort, some seemed wary until a certain collared lad smiled and offered a little nod then the place he’d been sitting. Away from the boys that seemed to make life a little more bothersome. “Thank you,” she whispered, settling down in the seat. Resting the book down on her lap before looking to the other lads who straightened their composure.

“We were all about to introduce ourselves since we’ve never travelled outside of London for such a meeting before. Yet, it seemed like a brilliant idea when bought up. Birmingham seemed like the best place, so raw and thrilling. Small Heath alone.” Spoke finally a lad in a handsome waist-coat, the colouring of coal, stiff collar and matching suit made her think of it being something her brother; Tom would wear. Only on the best occasions, or when he was dressing-to-impress. Unlike Thomas, this lad had handsome hazel eyes, the slightest tan to his skin like he enjoyed the frolicking on the beach. His name was Walter, but everyone called him, Walt. 

“Even the presence of criminal activity and organisations like the Peaky Blinders, it does make the area a prize for writing. Wouldn’t you agree, lads,” spoke up for eccentric Norman, who took delight in the thing that only made Tillie smile in a measure of great awkwardness. The name seemed to follow her everywhere she went, and there was a measure of awkwardness for that.  “Sorry, miss, I didn’t quite mean to be so rude, it’s just you don’t seem the sort to know much on that end, too kind and pretty, huh?” Norm covered himself for any form of rudeness that could have been interpreted. 

Only causing a polite little lowering of her head, as her hands wrapped anxiously around her book’s spine. Before relaxing at the conversation drifting off elsewhere. Sobering to the notion that the following cough from Joe Gilbert had goosebumps appearing on her arms. Causing a vast amount of discomfort in the young woman. Tillie traded glances with the nicer of the Londoner’s; Robert. Whom quickly coughed to get things back on track. 

“In any case, back to the introductions. We shouldn’t dwell too long on the story topics if we’ve lacked the proper course of introduction. Shall I start?” Robert spoke up, settled against set up for the purpose of meetings. “My name is Robert Augustine, myself and these other gentlemen,” he said, gesturing to the others in the group of London lads. 

“Are from a collective of young men that wish to write and publish arts. Never before have we had a lady join us, but surely in this modern world we’d be able to welcome the bright minds of femininity amongst us. After all, lady authors are blooming into the publishing world more and more with each generation.” His words seemed to still the anxiousness within her soul at the agreement of his other companions. Looking forward to seeing a hand extended to her, Robert allowed her to stand. The mix of coarseness and softness met between the two palms meet. 

Holding her book, Tillie looked down smiling a little at her feet. Hugging her book to her chest, like it was the most precious thing to her. That was… Because it truly was the thing that held so much value to her heart. Her right hand still gently in the hold of the Londoner, cheeks lightly warming. “I’m Tillie Shelby, and I like to write about my brothers, their stories before the war. When we were kids,” she lit up sweetly talking of her brothers. Her hand and Robert’s naturally finding it parting, before he settled in his spot by the desk. Arms folding at his chest with a little smile. 

“Would you be willing to share any of those stories?” Robert asked in a light voice. Tillie could only think of one response. 

“Would I ever,” she beamed with a presence that seemed to warm the room and the quiet little shop around them. Settling down into her seat once more, she didn’t think about when the others were introducing themselves. Instead, she found herself lost within stories. The more whimsical tales of lads that laughed and partied. Or the ones that filled with a warmth that made her think of the family that suppressed or lost who they were before the war. Among them, none had known those woes and horrors. 

They’d seen things happen on the outside. Felt the absence of a brother, father, uncle or grandfather that either died or lost what kept to their memory that their younger-selves recalled. Tillie was young then. Merely a baby in some regard. But she couldn’t ever forget the days of laughter, wherein night terrors; her heroes would just come up and curl into the undersized cot she called a bed. Soothing their fingers along with the softness of infant or child hairs–that had yet to understand dryness or damage. 

When business didn’t entirely rule the Shelby family but happened in the background. Those were her tales. The tales of rawness and loss from a different scene. Where her brothers; the men who took over the role of an absent father, became; fathers, uncles, older brothers and best friends. And… Pol became the only mother she ever knew and remembered. Her voice spoke of the volumes to family values and how terrible things broke people. Yet, she never uttered their names aloud. 

Only recording them within her mind when she read the tales that meant something to one of her brothers. Art. Tom. John.

[joshuahong]

ok so i've been staring at the ah!love edit for like a good one hour now, i keep coming back to it and i just go 🤩🤩💖💖✨✨ how long have you been editing for? which programs do you use? any tips you would give for people who are thinking of delving into gfx and editing? Hope you don't mind the questions, i'm just curious

omg thank you!! seriously you are too too sweet hehe :”) and i’ve been editing since 2014?? 2015?? I can’t believe time flies that fast LOL

I use photoshop cc 2019!! I also use after effects if I want a specific overlay for gifs or illustrator if I’m primarily working with vectors!

I HOPE I DON’T RAMBLE but here are my biggest tips in the most condensed way possible LOL (I also have a ps tag here~) update: it is NOT condense therefore it will be under a read more <3 I hope this helps!

understand placement (balance, proximity, alignment) - I personally think this is important because it helps guide the viewers’ eyes through your edit in the way it’s intended & can help make an edit look aesthetically pleasing!! 

For balance it’s all about understanding how each element carries it’s own visual weight / like for example in this edit the focus on the polaroids but I don’t like too much negative space so I added plants in certain areas to help frame the focus of the panel.

For proximity I just make sure that each element has enough space around it! So if you have a subject edit like this, I put the focus on Joshua and either layer elements behind him or use the gradient tool to make sure the background elements aren’t distracting

For alignment I would just keep note of the different elements you introduce and keep it consistent if things are meant to be center aligned, off-centered, etc.

So if we apply that to the two different edits below:

balance: left edit I keep it consistent with displaying “three” text blocks about their debut, and 3 eras; I also use the same rounded square shape in each // in the right edit I keep it balanced by using a few elements: polaroid + flowers. notice that the smaller flowers are on the right hand side of the polaroid and the bigger flowers are on the left side

proximity: on the left edit I use physical lines to show the end of one section and a new section, Also the rounded square images keep everything contained and since there are a lot of different styles (different seventeen logos and small icons) I use more white space to separate them. on the right edit I just use the contours of the flowers and space them evenly that way

alignment: left edit i use thirds to separate each element and everything is centered, whereas the right edit has a more organic feel??? so I layered elements more to make it look realistic

play around with colors!!! it helps to know a little about color theory: honestly I just use the colors I like the most, but even knowing how colors look against each other and knowing which ones can be used as accents helps bring the edit together! there’s a bunch of palette generators on tumblr to help you pick colors if you’re indecisive!!

try different styles! I think it’s super fun to dive into a LOT of different graphic design styles like vector art, infographics, manipulation (like my cyberpunk edits), or flatlay styles!

use tutorials!! There’s a bunch of tutorials on tumblr in achieving different styles, AND on behance.net there’s a BUNCH of mockups that can be used to spice up your edits!!!

don’t feel pressured to post everything you make or have an edit out quickly I feel like sometimes we are pressured to post everything we make, but sometimes you can use it as a learning opportunity!! I would say post what you are proud of!!

TOOLS FOR EDITORS

photoshop/phone apps - I know a lot of people on twitter use phone apps which is really cool in editing, but for me I think photoshop is my go to since it has so many capabilities!! hint: search adobe zii patch for Mac OS to get it for fr33

USE EDITABLE IMAGES!! - if you use fantakens please check to make sure they allow editing. I think hanwooz has a good tutorial of how to ask for permission, but usually on their twitter profiles they say if they allow editing. There’s also scans you can use from @iiashascans that are editable with credit. I personally use Seventeen’s behind the scene images OR their naver x dispatch photos since its so HD lol

Freepik and Unsplash for free images you can use freepik.com or unsplash.com for free images!! I used unsplash for my cyberpunk backgrounds lol

[fantasyoverreality98]

End of Year Faves

Thank you so very much for tagging me @kelseaaa !! <3 

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!

Okay, my favourite fics, well, let’s see...

1. When Daylights Comes (Aerin x f! MC)

I am honestly not afraid to admit that I’m extremely proud of this one and that it’s perhaps one of my favourite things I’ve ever written ever. The angst, the just writing something that was inspired by a great sone from a musical...I just really like this one. And I spent a super long (longer than I’d like to admit) time writing it and ended up really liking the result.

2. Fight the Darkness (Gaius x MC)

So I wrote this near the beginning of lockdown and it gave me a temporary escape from reality so of course it has to be on here. Also, it was the first fic I’d written in years that wasn’t a one shot so it kind of introduced me back into writing fanfiction. Also also, this was the thing that led me to meet most of the people I interact with in the fandom so that automatically grants it a special place in my heart.

3. Over You (Ethan x f! MC)

This was written during my intense angst phase, but also I just really like writing about the constant rocky relationship between Ethan and MC. I know Ethan is controversial in some cases (lol), and yet I am still drawn to that forbidden romance thing. Which is why I had to include something with him on here, because I like the writing in this one.

4. In An Instant (Bryce x f! MC)

One, it’s Bryce. Two, the song that inspired me to write this is from a show I fell in love with this year so it had to go in here too. It’s basically about MC realizing that she has feelings for Bryce and how amazing he is and a scenario I could write over and over again because I am an absolute sucker not only for the enemies to lovers trope, but also the friends to lovers trope and the idea of Bryce and MC just sort of coming together to form a fantastic relationship fills my heart with warmth. 

5. The Undying Centurion (Gaius POV)

I’m about to expose myself because this is a side blog but you know what? Who cares. Quite a few of the things I’ve written on this side blog are probably some of my better writing, so I have to include it. This one is from Gaius’s POV right after the scene where his fate can be decided and it’s about him reflecting on his past and just how I’d picture his thought process would be after surviving the fight with Rheya. 

6. Prince of Shadow (Aerin x f! MC)

Clearly, I have a thing for writing in the POV of choices villains. This idea struck me when I was (slightly) intoxicated and to this day is my most popular fic. It’s told from Aerin’s perspective and, much like the Gaius one, focuses on him reflecting his past and what led him to the moment. It’s also probably some of my best writing so of course it has to go on here. That, and I’m an absolute clown for Aerin so he has to be on here again. 

7. Another Life (Gaius x MC)

The first Gaius fic I wrote. It makes heavy use of the “another life” line and has Gaius and MC reunite fifty years after the events of BB3. It’s still one of my favourites and every once in a while I skim through it. Without this fic, I don’t think I would’ve continued writing choices fanfiction, so I guess it deserves a spot on here. 

8. Slowly (Bryce x f! MC)

Ah, some more angst with a happy ending. Basically, it’s about MC wondering if Bryce feels the same way about her and wanting to say “I love you” but unsure if it’s the right moment. I wrote it during my obsession with the song “Tough Love” by Jessie Ware and yeah, I am not good at explaining things, but it ends with an “I love you” and I’ve been waiting for that in Open Heart, so it gets the final mention in this list. 

-----

Most of my explanation was just me rambling but this was still fun to do! And it was nice to revisit all the writing I did over the summer so thanks again for tagging me, Kelsea, I really enjoyed this! (pretend I put a heart emoji I’m on my computer and can’t get to them right now)

Tagging: @anotherbeingsworld and @theo-oface if you two wanna do this and if anyone else stumbles across this and wants to do it, go for it! Even tag me if you’d like, I’d love to see what your fave creations were this year! :)

[hanramm156]

Rammstein Family Game: Get to know me! (Warning: a long ramble)

I’m honored to be tagged by @cherrisplace​ and @momoredcrow​. ^^ It’s been a pleasure to read other people’s Rammstein memories and opinions, so here comes mine as well. Writing is one of those rare things that keep me sane during this crazy season, so I apologize this being super long. More rambling is probably coming when everything’s cancelled and I have nothing else to do.

Rules: There are no rules. Tag whoever you want. Don’t tag yourself. Tag yourself. You don’t have to answer all the questions. Do what you please. Have fun.

Created by: @vapor-stein

1. I’m curious: when did you discover Rammstein?

2004 properly, but I might have heard Du hast or other popular songs even earlier.

2. Tell me your story. How did you discover them?

As said, it was 2004 and I was watching some random Finnish music show. Back in the days, I watched a lot of music videos from the tv and recorded my favorite ones to VHS. One evening Rammstein’s Amerika came from the show and I was like “??? What on earth is this??? Sounds interesting…”. I wasn’t into metal music back then (I mostly listened to indiepop and alternative rock), but for whatever reason, I got hooked instantly to this German band’s dark, eerie sound. It was refreshing to hear something else than English and the video was also thrilling.

Rammstein had intruded my mind already, but the final straw was when I saw the Mein Teil video. I liked both the song and the video A LOT - so much that I even felt kinda “dirty” for liking something this dark. A 14-year-old me was constantly asking from myself that: “am I even allowed to like this kind of stuff this much?”. The backstory for the song was creepy, but so mesmerizing – like I had been introduced to the darkest corners of human mind: yes, this kind of stuff happens, and we shouldn’t close our eyes from it. So next, the only thing I could do was to buy Reise, reise album, listen to it on loop and sketch my German notebook full of Rammstein lyrics. Here’s a proof:

I have so many stories about my relationship to Rammstein that I might have to write them all down now when there’s a lot of time.

3. Favourite song?

This topic would be worth a novel itself, but here are some of my favorites:

Asche zu Asche – So badass, gives me such an energy every time – plus, not to forget the burning microphones and SILVER REESH!

Bück dich – Yes, it’s a horrible story once again in this song, but I can’t help but to admit that the song is freaking catchy and in a weird way, hot. Also, there’s a funny backstory when I was in 9th grade and we almost performed this song in our official graduation party with my boyfriend and a bunch of our friends (maybe good that the idea was abandoned in the end…). We had a vague clue what the song was about, but we just thought it was funny – also, our German teacher dressed always in leather and loved Rammstein (she played us Bestrafe mich during one class and I’ll always remember the awkward atmosphere) so we were thinking to dedicate the song to her for as our goodbye. XDD Seriously, why I have been so weird for all my life…

Sehnsucht – In most of the pop songs, longing is described by tender words and soft lyrics, but not in Rammstein’s case. I’ve had this weird feeling of “longing” all my life that I can’t describe properly. It’s kind of an inner emptiness, only arts and music can help to deal with it when it hits. I think Sehnsucht describes so realistically what is longing about in reality: it’s this angry pressure in your heart which you want to get out of your chest but can’t. In the end, you just want to scream your lungs out.

Mein Herz brennt – Powerful song that always gives me goosebumps. I can’t even explain why. Maybe the fact that “tough” men being emotional is my soft spot and Rammstein hits that spot hard.

Links 2-3-4 – I have always been kind of a rebel and I feel like when everyone else is going to the “right” I have to go to the left, to the unknown. My heart is longing for adventure, for the paths the others are not going. I dunno, but this is such a powerful song for me. When I hear it, I always just want to jump around. In Tampere concert I went totally nuts when Links started as the second song, lol. From that moment I felt like I was back home with my boys.

Mein Teil – No need for further explanations anymore.

Los – The harmonica solo!!! The dropped c tuning and the acoustic sounds!! I love it.

Amour – My favorite R+ ballad. I confess that I listen to this and think about the lyrics when I’m in the mood for writing something painfully romantic.

Weit weg – There’s this painful longing once again that always resonates to me. I listened this to a lot after the “after blues” of Ratina concert.

Tattoo – A song that I didn’t care about so much at first, but for whatever reason, it’s almost my favorite from the new album nowadays. It’s catchy as hell and I like the “rattling” guitar riffs.

4. Least favourite song? Come on. I know you have one.

Feuer frei – Too much Vin Diesel vibes. I also get a picture of drunken, middle-aged Finnish guys on a R+ gig who don’t care about to band, but just want to have a party of their life and get drunk, far away from their wives. (No offense to anyone, but as music is almost like a religion to me, I can’t help but to have a bit of disrespect for kind of people who just “consume” music.)

Pussy – Both musically and lyrically, so bad, but I get the point the guys tried to give with this nonsense.

5. Favourite album? & 6. Least favourite album? aka. I ramble about all the albums.

Tough one… as the rules were vague, I decided to have a short opinion about each of the albums.

Herzeleid – Summary: a bunch of guys, born and raised in DDR, are tired of everything so they get together and play aggressive songs - you can almost smell the testosterone miles away while you are listening to this album. I have to admit that I love this album even though it’s not musically super creative. It’s just raw men with raw feelings – and I have to say, it works for me.

Sehnsucht – I was creeped out of the album art as a teenager, lol. But yeah, musically improved from the former one and there are some classic songs that make Rammstein as they are nowadays. I listen to this often when I’m driving.

Mutter – The album that they had the most struggles with if I have understood correctly. The pain can be heard through the songs and it’s so honest and raw. I lost my friend in 2004 tragically and this album was one of the things that kept me sane back then. Especially the beginning of the album (MHB, Links, Sonne) hits me hard in the guts.

Reise, reise – The album that started all this hype in me, so it has a special place in my heart. I also liked how they tried something different to their usual sounds in this one, like orchestral and acoustic songs.

Rosenrot – To be honest, this album has always left me a bit “cold”, so I cannot even make a real opinion of it. There are some good moments though, like Mann gegen Mann that really speaks to me.

Untitled: This has been on the loop since last August and I was honestly surprised how good the album was. I hadn’t listened to Rammstein for a while, but when I got this album to my hands after the concert, holy shit it hit me. I like hearing the path the guys have gone: their new music is much more mature than the first angry albums. Also, I love Till’s poetry in this one, like Was ich liebe and Weit weg.

I think I answered the question #7 already, so I’ll skip to #8.

8. Unpopular opinion about a member? A scandal? Anything?

Even though I appreciate Till as an artist and a poet, I don’t find his appearance attractive. You can throw rotten tomatoes at me now, but this is just my opinion, no means to offend anyone. Maybe the reason is that my taste for men tends to go for androgynous side, so I am not drawn towards very masculine men.

I’m not interested in Lindemann project and I don’t like their music so much, but the tour looked entertaining though. I bet all the people who attended had a lot of fun.

How Richard pronounces English is extremely sexy to my ear, even though it clearly sounds like a German guy trying to sound American - still, it’s like honey to my ears. Stupid man who makes my knees weak with everything he does.

I hate to admit that I don’t like Ohne dich so much. I don’t know why. :(

9. Have you ever seen them live? Tell me what you felt.

Three times this far! Oh man, I could talk about for hours how the concerts have made me feel, but I try to be reasonable now.

Ruisrock, Turku, 2005 – My first time seeing them live – and going to a festival without any adult supervision, so it was a special experience overall – and they blew my mind. It was raining and thundering and we were completely soaked with my friends, but it was worth it!

Bonus for everyone who managed to read this far: teenage me waiting for Rammstein to start playing, looking so badass with my denim jacket and R+ logo drawn with eyeliner. :D

Hartwall Arena, Helsinki, 2012: We went to the show together with my boyfriend to celebrate Valentine’s day and holy shiiiiit it was awesome. Hands down one of the best evenings of my life. I was so hooked to Rammstein afterward that when we were at my bf’s family’s cottage, his brother had to tell me to stop blasting Herzeleid all the time in the kitchen. :’D

Ratina Stadium, Tampere, 2019: Aka. byebye my life, say hello to fics, listening to the band all over again, stupid memes and all the content this fandom creates. I fell in love again with Rammstein during this concert.

I have tickets for Düsseldorf and Tallinn, but now I can only wait and stress that will Corona ruin everything. In that case, I’ll weep alone and write fics about the tour 2020 that ended up never happening.

10. Do you play any instruments? If you do can you play any song by them?

Yeah, I play guitar and piano but nowadays I mostly sing. Rammstein songs are super easy to play with guitar and I recently learnt to play Tattoo and Sex. Have been practicing Engle on piano as well. Some songs I like to sing are Deutschland, Tattoo and Engel. The “speaking” parts are difficult though. ^^;

I’m not sure who I could tag to this who hasn’t done it already, but I’ll try my luck: @ah-its-too-much​ @soronya​ @einemelodie​ @xiaolianhuax​ @so-darya-darya​ @maximaembra​ @kvidasjuklingur​

[not-fitz]

1 year

So... A year huh...

365 days

Mad

I made this account with the intention of making friends from all over, I was sick of going online and not being able to text anyone because my irl friends never use their phones, so I made this

A little bit after, about 4 days, I get a notif that a post was trending in the gbg tag (just set up btw), it was a Discord invitation posted by an old friend of mine

I joined the server and was immediately met with people who I had never heard before. It was hard for me at first to make friends because I wasn't good at meeting new people and how to react to it

But eventually I made a friend, his name was Parker, I don't talk to him anymore and I would love to, tbh I don't know why we stopped talking but we did

Smit is an incredible friend , I love her so fucking much, she is hilarious and kind and so so innocent lmao

John is amazing, they are an amazing artist and I love their memes, they're such an amazing person (they don't really use Tumblr anymore)

Terr is my best friend, they helped me when I was depressed and felt like I didnt want to do anything anymore, they taught me to love life and to accept any opportunity that comes my way and I am deeply grateful for that

Chels, we haven't spoken in so long! I miss you so much, I was so sad when you left to go to college, I can't wait to text you again!

Will is one of the best people I ever met, we went through hard times but I still love them so much, their art is amazing and they are an incredible person

Cammy, I met you so long ago when you freaked out when I followed you, I introduced you to smit and terr and to see you now is incredible, to see how much you have grown as a person, you'd swear I feel like a parent lmao

Bandit, I love you so much darling, I'm sorry I wasn't there as much as I could have been, I love you

I want to shoutout the people I met along the way also that helped me become a better person:

-Max

-Winch

-Tyler

-AppleBlonde

-Evan

-TviTrickster

-Faythyloo

-Ash

-Molly

-Jaxxa

-SmileyGene

-professoremu

-Doodle

-Goose

Thank you all so much!

And to you, my followers

To those who have been here since day 1 or just followed me 2 seconds ago

Thank you

I wouldn't still be doing this without you and honestly I don't think I would be here

But im glad to say I am

I wouldn't be here without the people that got me here and to them I am so grateful

I love you all

--TC

(I won't be tagging anyone cause I don't want to bother them with my heartfelt ramble)

((created the 10th June 2019))

[bookenders]

11/11/11 Tag Game: Rounds 14 and 15! (I think. I’m bad at math.)

Back at it again, folks! Thank you @ofvisitorsthefairest and @fictionshewrote for the tags!

I think I’m gonna stop counting them after these. I can’t keep the numbers straight.

Rules: Answer the 11 questions from whoever tagged you, then made up 11 of your own questions and tag 11 people.

Bilbo Taggins: @starlitesymphony​, @hannahs-creations​, @toboldlywrite​, @quilloftheclouds​, @myreidola​, @minusfractions​, @inexorableblob​,  @ink-flavored​, @misfitgirlwrites​, @writinginslowmotion​, @aurumni-writes​

If you like these questions, by all means, answer them! And tag me so I can see!

My Questions:

Make a Mary Sue in your story’s world! What powers do they have, if any? How are they better than everyone else? What is their tortured past that is a blessing but also a curse? What kind of unusual eyes do they have? Which member of nobility/royalty/god/vampire/demon is their parent?

Which would your OCs choose: Legolas or Aragorn? Which would you choose?

What’s your favorite trick to pull on readers?

If you were to teach a creative writing class, what books would be on your syllabus?

What’s your opinion on semicolons?

What’s your favorite movie, based on its story?

What’s the dumbest thing your character(s) have ever done? What’s the dumbest thing they could do?

What one item could you introduce to your story to completely derail the plot? Where would it go from there?

What’s your favorite MacGuffin?

How do you name your characters and locations? 

How have your hobbies and passions influenced your writing/how you write?

My answers under the cut!

@ofvisitorsthefairest‘s Questions:

1. Does music inspire you to write?

Not unless I’m doing songfics as a warm-up or something. I usually use it as a tone/mood guard rail as I’m writing. That’s why I make story/character playlists! They keep me on track, especially if I’m revisiting a scene I haven’t thought about in a while.

2. Which WIP did you learn the most from writing?

My Romanian story, for sure. I had the help of my thesis director/mentor with that one, thank God. I learned how to establish a scene quickly, how to do flashbacks like other people do them, how to incorporate languages without messing up the pace or losing the reader, and how to write historical things. 

I learned a whole lot about what not to do from my Story That Shall Not Be Named Because It Bad, too. 

3. Is there something your OC should be afraid of that they aren’t?

I think Gemma should be more afraid of being found out than she is. I mean, she’s technically a witch (an unregistered magic practitioner, because of her potion-making which is classified as pseudo-magic) who has no social security number, lives in secret, and does illegal internet things. She could get into some serious trouble. There are even more nasty consequences that I can’t reveal because spoilers, but let’s just say she has no idea they could happen and they ain’t pretty.

4. Is there something they don’t need to fear, yet do? Irrational phobias?

Yep! It’s one of the cores of her character. She’s afraid of being left alone, abandoned, kept out of her found family. Being used for her skills and ignored as a person. I don’t think they’re irrational, but she has never listened when people tell her not to be afraid of those things.

5. Do you prefer reading physical books or e-books?

Physical books, by far. E-books for my college student wallet, though. They saved me when I didn’t have time to order books, too. I have a crazy good “where in the physical book did this event happen” memory. Like, I can name an event and flip to the page very quickly based on how far into the book it was. Very handy for citations. And I love the feel/smell of a book in my hands and all the contorting I do when I read one (seriously, I almost always end up upside down or completely sideways in a chair).

6. What’s some details of your world building that you like?

All the little things! Academic internet piracy network to help witches, how magic interacts with daily life, tweaking folklore to fit story lore, 

7. Have you ever created a magic system? What was it like?

Oh, boy! Yes, I have made several. My favorite might be the one from my TV show where the only magic is healing/life manipulation magic. The way it works is that when healers do their thing, they physically take on their patient’s injuries. If you have a broken arm, now the healer has a broken arm. Works with diseases, too. Here’s the snippet from the Show Deck about it:

In the darkest corners and dingiest alleys, magic pulses through the veins of the downtrodden. Seen as evil and taboo, magic operates by the law of an eye for an eye, a life for a life. Sacrifice fuels these dark arts, and those who manipulate them are covered in scars and never-healed wounds. Healers operate in the shadows and lead short lives, field medics are scarce, and the king has two sorcerers by his side at all times, bound by a blood contract to give their lives in his name.

Here’s a link to some posts about my magic system in my current WIP, Heart to Heart! I made magic types based on different sciences and artistic disciplines! 

We’ve got astronomy/astrology, carving/linguistics/physical art/symbology, politics/making powerful friends/handshakes/marketing/political science, geology/archaeology/product design. Also some secret types that involve psychology, sound design/sound engineering, and water treatment/environmental science/architecture.

There are also pseudo-magical professions that blend with tech and science, like potion making!

Here’s a decent explanation of how magic works in the world of H2H.

Here’s a joke I made about my magic system.

Here’s the Magical Aptitude quiz I made that tells you more about the magic types in H2H.

/end ramble

8. What was your first favorite book?

I’m 90% sure it was the American Revolution Magic Tree House book. Or one of those books. They were the best.

9. What time of day are you most motivated to write?

7pm-4am. Yep, I hate it. I’m trying to push it closer to 2pm-9pm but it’s tough.

10. If you could step into the shoes of one of your characters for a day, which one would you pick?

If we’re talkin’ H2H characters, I honestly would not have a preference. Everyone in that story is pretty dang chill. If I had to choose, I’d go with Jill or Treena. They’re both artists and artisans who have cool houses and great friends.

11. What are some little quirks you like to give characters? Ex: a lot of mine have freckles Just Because.

There are Many. A lot of my characters have curly hair because I have curly hair. Many of them are left handed (especially my sword-wielding ones). A bunch of them have scars. A lot of them know curse words in other languages. 

@fictionshewrote‘s Questions:

1. What do you want to see more of in the book world? (more rep, more of a specific genre, etc)

I have a rant about this, but to sum up: fewer straight white men dominating publishing, more open acceptance for new voices and ideas, less focus on easy-sell formulaic stories, less prejudice against certain genres... the list goes on. Also, in the publishing world, fewer submission fees and more journals that pay.

2. What time of day are you most productive writing-wise?

Answered above! Evenings and nights. It’s starting to shift to late afternon to late evening though, which is a nice change.

3. Do you have a designated space where you write?

Nope! I usually use my laptop wherever I can sit down or stand without my back screaming at me. I hate writing on my phone, though. Too small, too many typos.

4. What kind of platforms/programs/tools do you use to write? (Word, notebooks, Google Docs, Scrivener, etc)

Scrivener! It’s so helpful for my disorganized ass. I only use Word for academic papers now. When I’m having trouble getting ideas out of my brain, I write by hand in a hard back spiral notebook. I can’t stand writing in journals without spirals. 

5. Hardcover or paperback?

I like both. When I read, I sit weird and hardcovers prevent the pages from bending, but paperbacks are good for traveling with. And they’re cheaper. But hardcovers are so pretty... 

6. What’s your favorite story trope? Are you using it in your wip(s)?

There are a lot of tropes and I can never pick just one. I like friends to lovers, almost everything in LoTR and all those high fantasy things, complicated political/family dynamics, etc. I don’t typically like to write the same things I like to read, though. I have trouble naming them sometimes, but I know I use a bunch of them. 

7. If you had to send your favorite OC on a blind date with a character from someone else’s book, who would that character be and why?

Oh boy. I’m watching the Lord of the Rings extended editions right now, but I’ll try not to be biased.

If I were trying to be funny, I’d set Fred up with Aziraphale from Good Omens. I feel like they could have some good weird conversations.

Gemma and Nicholas Flamel from The Alchemist would be fun, too. Or Oz and Boromir. 

8. Do you write scenes in order or out of order?

I like writing them in order, but sometimes that doesn’t work out like I want it to. Now it really depends on the story. I wrote the first part of AOPC out of order and it messed with my head a little, so I’m trying not to do it for my longer projects. My short stories are always written one and done, in chronological order, usually. Especially the ones under 2k words. WYSiOaD was written in order, then switched around to fix the flow and plot.

9. If your favorite OC was a superhero, what would their superpower be? (assuming, of course, they aren’t a superhero to begin with!)

I do have superhero/villain characters! Here’s some others, though:

Gemma - Empathy / Transferable Rapid Healing and/or Regeneration

Oz - Truesight / Invulnerability

Mel - Animal Friendship or Shapeshifting / Conditional Foresight

Fred - Domino’s luck power but backwards and framed like happy accidents that always seem to work in his favor. So... Mr. Magoo.

Teva - Earth sculpting or something like earthbending

10. Describe your ideal writing session.

I sit and I write a whole short story in one hit. Then I wait and edit another day. 

I am a simple bean.

11. What do you think would turn your protagonist into a villain?

Seeing what was lost and having it torn away forever before she gets to claim it again.

[daisymondays]

Hi, love! Do you know any good drarry fic that is placed at Hogwarts, like in 6th year or 8th year? Thank you!!

Hello dearest Nonnie, basically I started answering this and then accidentally fucking closed the page which meant I lost everything, so this is going to be shorter than I originally intended. I am an idiot. Also, I am not a rec blog and have an awful memory when it comes to remembering fics names and writers so I apologise for the short mess that is this list.

Without further ado here is a short and entirely subjective list of fics I have read recently and adored that fit this criteria and I hope you like them!! 

First up is the fabulous @femmequixotic and the noble @noeeon with their 8th year erised fic Things Worth Knowing (E 165K)

Okay so if you ever hear some weird incomprihensible screaming noise that is me yelling from the roof tops about how everyone should read this fic. It is fantastic and one of the best explorations of bi-Harry I’ve read to date. You get an incredible feel for his journey and his coming to grips with his sexuality. F/N are two of my fave writers because of the way they don’t shy away from the negative aspects of the characters and because of this their H/D are some of my faves because they are so real. Also Draco’s character and his coming to terms with the war and his actions are really fantastic, gosh the whole journey throughout the fic is just amazing. Its heart breaking and soul destroying but also uplifting and hopeful. Yes with a fantastically fleshed out cast of surrounding characters and SOME UNFORGETTABLE OC’s this fic is already a firm fave of mine and I 100% recomend it.

(Ps Noe I’m really sorry but adjectives begining with N are really hard to come up with)

Second up is the brilliant @bixgirl1 ‘s 8th year fic The Romantic Prawn Who Loved Christmas ( E 39K)

I mean really all I have to do to rec this fic is point out that the tags include sleep wanking. SLEEP WANKING PEOPLE!! but as with every Bix fic there is so much more than just mind blowingly hot sex (mind blowing!!) there is humour and the delightful snark between H/D truly is delightful, and Harry’s sleeping rambles are perfect and so sweet, innocent and flat out hilarious. Draco is adorably oblivious but also heart-breakingly so, and watching H/D’s relationship develop is so charming and heart warming. THEY ARE ROOMMATES AND THERE IS BED SHARING!!! LOOK AT THESE TAGS!! and then the Christmas magical/historical is just wow. I know its no longer christmas time but this is just a really great fic

Third we have the wildly-amazing @who_la_hoop and Written On The Heart (E 114K)

Another long one but trust me it’s worth it. Who_La’s writing somehow manages to perfectly balance being absolutely hilarious (like so funny you will wet yourself from laughing) with dealing with the complex issues after the war. There is also issues of fate and soul mates dealt with. And I just loved every word, honestly this fic should be read entirely so you can understand how incredible Blaise Zabini is, like he is hysterical. A work of art. I will never laugh so much in my life as I do at nearly every thing Blaise does and says. I mean look at this tag Blaise Zabini’s dubious porn collection like what more does one want in a fic?? It also has some of the best slytherin dynamics I’ve read and is just an all round fantastic fic

( Why did I think these adjectives were a good fucking idea? Sorry Who_La if you ever see this! )

Fourth may I introduce you to spectacular @Saras_Girl and 8th year advent fic Helix ( E 92K) 

HARRY AND DRACO LOOK AFTER SNAILS!!! OMG I KNOW IT SOUNDS BIZARRE BUT READ IT AND FEEL ALL THE ACHES AND PAINS AND WOES OF YOUR LIFE DRIFTING AWAY!!! i mean thats any saras_girl fic isn’t it?? pure joy and love written down. Anyway yes onto the fic, it is beautifully written (as always) and watching Harry and Draco bond and get over their war trauma just warmed my cold little heart. It is truly a stunning read and I recomend it to anyone who just wants to remember how much good there really is in the world

Fifth and certainly not least I’m going to throw in a short 8th year that isn’t angsty at all, and in the spirit of 20-self love-18 this is semi a self rec LOL, so that is amazing @aibidil and I’s Back To You (T 9K)

Sorry aib but you don’t get a screaming paragraph about how amazing you are (even though you deserve one) because I will cross the line and sound like an absolute knob if i start raving about how funny I am (again). But yes Aib and I had a great time writing this fic, it is in my personal and very humble opinion a rather enjoyable read and also it is some light relief after some of the beasts I just recced you!!

Oh and PS. I am only one chapter into this fic but the creative-genius @carpemermaidtales wrote one called Changing Tides (E 109K)

Okay so this fic as I said I’m only one chapter into but spans 5th Year 8th Year and beyond, and is meant to be amazing. The first chapter is FANTASTIC i can tell you that and I am currently hooked!! SOOOO HOOKED!! Also you asked for 6th year and I don’t know any off the top of my head so I hope this is a good medium

( Another sketchy adjective sorry Carpe! )

So my lovely Nonnie this is my probably rather useless fic list for you and i think will stand as proof as to why I am not a rec blog and why i need to pick up a dictionary and learn some more adjectives. There are hundreds of fantastic Hogwarts fics out there and in about 10 mins I’ll be kicking myself for forgetting one so if any of my followers or just anyone who see’s this mess has a Hogwarts 8th/6th year fic they want to add to the list please do!! All the love xoxo

[flightlessb1rd]

Quiet Nights of Quiet Stars

Inspired by Stan Getz and Joao Gilberto’s rendition of Corcovado (Quiet Nights of Quiet Stars) hence, the title. Check the song out here

A short summary: After more than 10 years, two childhood friends meet at the right place, and maybe the right time.

One: I am really bored since I have a few weeks of college left but I have nothing to do. I passed all of the requirements ahead of the deadlines and now I'm sitting on my bed in my dorm room with my roommate chugging her 5th? 6th? cup of coffee this evening. 

Two: Our college department organized our graduation ball in one of the countryside’s hilltops. A night away from the city is what we needed before graduation day. Though I’m not entirely sure if I’d go...

Three: Fast forward to three days later, I eventually agreed to go. 

Upon arriving at the cozy hotel, we immediately ran up to our designated rooms and prepared for the ball. My friends and I did each other’s make up and tripped over our dresses frantically, trying not to be late to the ball. Ugh long dresses. 

Anyway, the program’s awesome. The food’s good and everything’s decorated perfectly. Magical. Phenomenal. Extravagant. Okay, I should stop. We've had some laughs here and there, played some cards, exchanged stories about our professors, cried out all our frustrations, partied a lot, and released the weight on our shoulders brought about by college. Oh, and booze, of course.

Obviously, a ball would not be a ball without a slow dance. The second the sound of that iconic guitar intro of Spandau Ballet’s “True” filled the room, everyone immediately looked for their dates to the ball and slow danced to the song. “Nice,” I muttered. I looked around to see if there was somebody I could talk to. Nope. Not a single person available. Not even my friends. Heck, even my professors were dancing the night away. How convenient. I sighed and thought I should just go outside and breathe in some fresh air. 

The cold breeze fanned my face making me shiver a bit. I spot a bench just a few feet away from the venue and decide to sit out for a while. The whistling wind was enough to distract me from the sound of the sappy, slow song playing and enough for me to reflect on life. A few minutes later, I felt someone sit on the opposite side of the bench, interrupting my thoughts. I immediately looked at the person who just sat. He was around my age—curly black hair with glasses framing his face. He was also wearing a suit but I’m sure that we aren’t attending the same event. A weird feeling of nostalgia filled the atmosphere; he feels like someone that I’m familiar with though I cannot point out where and how I met him. I think he felt that I was staring at him for a long time and he eventually shifted his gaze from the city lights scattered below the hilltop and to me, a girl who just happens to be in the same place and the same time as him. Out of shyness, I diverted my gaze to the city lights and pretended not to feel his intense stare. He muttered something under his breath yet I cannot decipher what it is. We just sat in silence for a good five minutes before he cleared his throat. 

“Uh, hi. Do I know you?” he asked, his face scrunched up in confusion. 

“I’m pretty sure we just met tonight.” I replied. 

“I don’t know... I feel like we’ve met before.” he said. I slowly nodded my head in agreement, now feeling weird that he shares the same sentiments as me. 

“That’s weird, I feel the same way too.” I uttered.

“Do we go to the same school?” he asked.

“Well... maybe? I mean university’s too big. Where do you go? But I’m pretty sure we don’t have the same major. I would’ve known you by now if we did.” I replied.

“Hmmm... family friend?” he asked again.

“I honestly don’t know, uhm... what’s your name?” 

“Oh gosh. I’m sorry I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Red by the way.” extending his hand for me to shake. “And you are?”

“Raegan... or Rae. Whatever you want to call me.” then I take his hand and shake it.

His eyes suddenly lit up, as if he discovered something. “Oh now it makes sense.” He then smiled a very genuine smile and said, “So it is you.”

“What do you mean?" I scratched my head, confused as to what he was saying.

“Wow, I can’t believe that I’ll find you here.” he shook his head in amazement.

“Okay, you’re really creeping me out.” I said as I slowly stood up from the bench and prepared to go back to the ball.

“Wait! Don’t you remember me? We used to go to the same elementary.” he said.

I dug up all my memories of elementary. There seemed to be a vague memory of me running around the school corridors with a little boy.

That's when it hit me: this guy sitting right next to me is the same wimpy little boy I was running around the school corridors with. I remember he went by the name Red. I couldn't remember his real name because all I know is that I called him Red one time in art class because he spilled red paint all over his clothes.

"Red? The paint spiller?"

"Yep, that's me."

“You’ve changed a lot. I mean, how you look. That’s why I didn’t recognize you. Not that you don’t look good, I mean you do look good.” I laughed.

“You look good too. You look way different from our childhood pictures. Puberty did a good job.” he laughed.

"I still can't believe you stuck by that name all these years." I chuckled.

"Well, I give it to you." he smiled.

"Anyway, what's up? We haven’t kept in touch after elementary." I asked.

"Nothing much. I plan to go to grad school after college. How about you?"

“Well,” I sighed, "I really don’t know. Although I could go straight to med school after I graduate from my bachelor's."

"Why so? I mean, you always wanted to be a doctor ever since we were kids." 

"Well I thought about it a lot. I don’t know if I could go through four, five more years of drowning myself in thick textbooks." I diverted my attention to the glistening city lights below. "Although I know that I want to help people—that's what I discovered. So I decided to take psychology."

"Well, you could always help in so many ways.”

“How about you? What are you majoring in?”  

“Anthropology, then straight to grad school. I also plan to grab a teaching opportunity for my grad school funds.” he said.

“That’s nice. Well I wish you well in grad school.” I smiled at him and diverted my gaze to the city lights below.

It was silent for a while. Neither of us were talking but the silence is one that is comfortable, not awkward. The muffled sounds of the music from the event can be heard but the ambiance of the moment seemed to drown out the tunes of sappy love songs playing in the background. I looked at Red, who is currently gazing at the sight below, which really is one to behold. The city lights looked like stars, twinkling from afar. The colorful neon signs could also be seen from the hilltops alongside the headlights and taillights of the cars driving around the city. The view reminded me of that time I went to Twin Peaks at night during a trip to San Francisco.

It was a pure ten minutes of sightseeing for the both of us when I decided to look at Red again. He was still gazing at the lights below as if he was lost in thought. I diverted my attention again to the breathtaking view and replayed some memories of my childhood with Red, although a bit vague. Some snippets of me and him playing tag at the school corridors immediately popped up in my mind. I chuckled at the thought. That was the time our teacher reprimanded us for not following the sign posted just outside our classroom which said, “No running”. 

“Why are you laughing?” Red asked, his stare now directed at me.

Damn, he heard me. “Nothing. I just remembered something.”

“What is it?”

“Okay. Remember the time Mrs. Porter told us off for running around school?”

“Oh yes that. Yeah I remember that. You even whined the whole time when you learned that you’ll only get one star sticker for misbehaving.” he chuckled.

“Hey, I did not.” I exclaimed.

“You did. You were so obsessed with those stars that you even attempted to steal another one while Mrs. Porter wasn’t looking.”

“Okay fine. You win.” I held my hands up in surrender. 

Then silence enveloped the air once again. The breeze was getting colder by the minute, making me shiver. Red must have sensed I was getting cold so he immediately draped his suit jacket around my shoulders. What an ultimate *fairy tale slash chick lit novel* moment.

“Thanks.”

“No problem.” he said, though he looked like he wanted to say something more.

“What is it?” I asked.

“What is what?”

“You looked like you wanted to tell me something.” 

“Promise you won’t get offended” he said. 

“I won’t be. Go shoot.” I replied.

“I was wondering why you’re all alone out here.” 

I raised my eyebrows in response to what he said.

“Hey, I was just curious.” he answered. 

I chuckled. “Grad ball, slow dance,” then I point to myself. “And a single pringle.”

“A date?” he asked.

“Didn’t think of bringing one, though I kinda regret it at first. But looky now, I’m here talking to my childhood friend.” I smiled. “Now it’s my turn to ask, what’re you doing out here alone?” 

“Do you want the whole story or a very short one like yours?”

“Just go on with it. Whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

“Okay, let’s see... Grad ball, girlfriend who won’t stop complaining about the horrid punch, got sick of her continuous rambling, and now here I am.” 

“Wow, you’re so lucky.” I laughed. 

“Well hey now. In my defense, I didn’t know that the punch would be a big deal for her.” he chuckled.

I was about to say something when I heard someone call him.

“Red! Hey Red! The party’s done.” the guy shouted while running towards the bench where we were sitting on.

“In a minute!” Red shouted back.

“You better hurry. We should be hitting the clubs in the city in a few minutes.” 

“Don’t you think we should call it a night? I just realized I’m kinda getting tired.” Red replied back.

“Whatever you say.” his friend then shifted his gaze to me. His eyes lit up in realization and apologized to Red. “I’m sorry, you guys carry on I’ll just go ahead. I guess I’ll see ya, Red!” he smiled.

“Wait no it’s not what you think.” Red’s cheeks suddenly turned bright red.

“Ok then, don’t be rude. Introduce me to this fine lady with you tonight.” his friend grinned.

Red smacked the back of the guy’s head. “Ow! What the fu--” 

“This here is Rae. She’s my childhood friend. Wouldn’t you believe we haven’t seen each other since elementary?”

“Wow, and you two met again here? After these years? I don’t believe in fate but this here... wow! Oh, how rude of me.” Red’s friend looked at me and extended his hand to shake mine. “I’m Paul by the way.” 

“It’s a pleasure meeting you.” I smiled. 

Paul shifted his attention to Red, and then to me. “Well I better get going. Don’t wanna waste time. We gotta hit all the bars in the city. Red, call me if you’ll follow.” then Paul bid goodbye to the both of us and disappeared along with the other guys.

“Hey, it’s totally fine if you go with them. I’ll be going in a few minutes too.” I said, as I rummaged through my purse to find my phone and check for messages.

“No, it’s okay with me. Besides, I’m too tired to go bar hopping.”

“Are you sure? It looks like Paul has everything planned out already. It’s fine if you go ahead. Enjoy yourself before you step into the real world.” I reassured.

“Well, I guess we could meet some other time?” he scratched his head.

“You go ahead, my friends might be looking for me by now. You gotta have one last hurrah before you drown yourself with tons of readings in grad school, and mountains of papers to grade.” I said.

He smiled and took one last look at the lights below and the stars above. “Written in the stars. I can’t believe I’d use that cliché saying.” he turned to look at me, took my hand, and he gave it a squeeze then let it go slowly. 

“I’ll see you, if fate permits us to do so.” he chuckled weakly.

“Ah yes, there’s a thing called social media obviously.” I rolled my eyes. 

“Okay smarty pants. But I’ll have you know that I’m not a fan of social media.” he winked. 

“Any other contact info?” I asked.

He sighed and shook his head, “If we ever cross paths again at the right time. There’s just a lot going on right now.” he smiled faintly. He took a few steps towards me and gave me a tight hug and a pat on the back. “I’ll see you when I see you.” then he turned his back and walked away.

I have no idea when the right time will be. I don’t even know what circumstances will allow us to. I am not God who could predict time. But one thing’s for sure: “whatever will happen, will happen”, I thought to myself. I sat on the bench in silence and looked at the stars above and the lights below, wondering when we’ll ever meet again.

                                                       -Fin-

Other songs that inspired this story (and fit its mood):

Moonlight in Vermont (Stan Getz and Astrud Gilberto)

It’s Always You (Chet Baker)

Ratatouille Main Theme

free love - dream edit by HONNE

[newyorkbaby]

top 10 favorite fics?

This has been sitting in my inbox for a hot minute, honestly, because this is a super difficult question. I’m sorry it’s taken so long to answer! I want to preface by saying that I’ve read a ridiculous amount of fic in this fandom, and I’ve loved so much of it, and there are plenty of fics that I would die for that aren’t on this list. also i’m constantly reading and finding new universes to love, so this list could change any day? but here goes, my top 10 favorite (at this very moment in time) hl fics:

10. Relief Next To Me by dolce_piccante (334k)

What can I say? Is this fic overhyped? Maybe. Is it ridiculously long? Sure. Is it nothing but pure fluff? Yeah, you’re right. Would I die for it? Absolutely. I find myself revisiting this universe over and over again, and that’s saying something for a fic this massive. I just love how fun the relationship is, so whenever I’m feeling blue and need to get away from anything angst, this is one of my go-to’s.

9. let it shine under the morning star, orphaned (22k)

This is one of the first fics I ever read twice (I’m not normally a fan of re-reading fics) and I still go back to it from time to time just to experience the amazing aesthetic this fic has. It’s set during the Belle Époque, one of my favorite historical eras in terms of the arts, and the imagery is just beautiful. Read this while listening to some Chopin or John Field; it’s totally lovely.

8. the impossible now by stylinsoncity (54k)

Oh, god. This fic is incredible. There are a lot of really great original plots out there, and there are a lot of good time-travel/universe swapping fics, but this one takes the cake. The angst and the conflict resolve are super well done, and this is one of those fics you just can’t stop reading even for a second. I remember staying up one night reading it all in one go, yelling at Kelli the entire time. I think I’m due to revisit this one myself!

7. You Come Beating Like Moth’s Wings by supernope (81k)

The Barcelona Fic™!!!! I read this pretty early on when I became a 1d fan and it’s stuck with me as one of the most fun and adventurous fics I’ve ever read. The entire idea of a whirlwind romance while traveling abroad is an automatic set-up for fun times (as well as a little angst) but the best part of this fic is the slow burn. If you haven’t read this one, you absolutely must.

6. Black with Autumn Rain by whimsicule (93k)

If you’re looking for originality, look no further tbh. Listen, I’m a huge horror/sci-fi/fantasy fanatic, and I’m obsessed with anything different, so obviously there’s some bias going on here, and I recognize that this fic may not be for everyone. However, it feels like this fic was written for me. This is one of those fics where the romance takes a bit of a back seat to the actual story, which is something I love, and the actual story is what keeps you hooked. On top of that, fucking phenomenal writing. Read this one when it’s raining, preferably with the lights off.

5. 210 Days by cherrystreet (16k)

Listen. Are you listening? Okay, good. This fic changed me. This was the first of Shelly’s fics that I ever read, and I couldn’t stop screaming about it for weeks. Shelly is, quite honestly, the queen of hurt and comfort. Did I cry while reading this? Of course. But I finished this fic feeling so content, hopeful even, for Harry and Louis, and for how strong their love is in this universe. I got hooked on the writing right away, but even more than that, I got introduced to Shelly’s incredible ability to write about the pain of the real world while highlighting all of the good things that happen as well. This fic is a huge gift; it brought me comfort during a really shitty time in my life, it made some of my friendships stronger, and it introduced me to one of my favorite people in this fandom. Anyway, the writing in this is totally poetic, so if you want to know what it feels like to be adored, read Harry’s letters to Louis in this fic and get back to me.

4. Have You Coming Back Again by whoknows (31k)

It’s crazy to me that this fic is number 4 on this list instead of number 1, because the first time I read this fic I ranted and raved about it for a ridiculously long time. The first time I tried to read this, I couldn’t get into it. Fortunately, I tried again after a few weeks and when I did get into it, I got into it. I adore the characterization in this fic. The writing is, of course, totally on point. “You’re just obsessed with fluff,” you might say. Well you’d be right, but that doesn’t change the fact that whoknows has a gift for writing a fun, playful romance.

3. Here in the Afterglow by fondleeds (89k)

Ah, here’s where I really get emotional. When lysha posted this, I had already read her first work, which I adored, so I was really excited for a well-done historical au (I’m a hoe for historical au if that isn’t obvious, btw). But nothing could have prepared me for this fic. Not only are all of the historical details totally spot on (the MUSIC IN THIS IS.. INCREDIBLE!!!), but the story itself handles the coming out “trope” with such incredible finesse and care, it’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen. There is so much LGBT+ history in this fic, and it’s treated with the respect it deserves, which is something I really haven’t ever seen in any other fic before. When I finished it, I just had this immense feeling of thankfulness for the pioneers of LGBT+ rights, which is not something you’d necessarily expect to get from a fic?? Anyways I’m rambling but I really can’t emphasize enough how wonderful and important to me this fic is. You absolutely must listen to 70′s rock while reading this, btw.

2. It Comes and Goes in Waves/It Always Does by roaroftheninth (51k)

Am I a fake for making this my #2 even though I only first read it a few days ago? Maybe. This fic, just recently completed, is another absolutely original fic that stands out from anything I’ve ever read. The thing about this fic is, the romance (like BWAR) is secondary. This is more a story about a soldier, who has to deal with the loss and pain he was left with after WWII, and his struggle to accept his own self-worth and happiness. Everything about the story itself is just flawless: the writing, the characterization, the plot, the imagery, the dialogue, the vocabulary itself - all of it is fantastic. I know the MCD tag scares people (it definitely scares me too!) but I promise it’s survivable, and the ending is happy! Given, if you like cookie-cutter fic with a predictable plot with all smiles and no tears, this fic isn’t for you. Then again, real life probably isn’t for you. If you want to read something real, something powerful and thought-provoking, read this. (Also, bonus points to this fic for SLOWWWW burn, an amazing tension-release, and a beautiful ending).

1. Tug-of-War by cherrystreet (63k)

You knew I couldn’t make a fic rec without having cherrystreet on here twice, right? The reality is, all of Shelly’s fics should be in my top 10, because I love them all, but there is no universe that compares to TOW. As always, her writing and characterization are on point. It’s obvious how much Shelly cares for this universe in the details of this fic, and it’s obvious how much she loves Louis and Harry in the way she carefully handles their fragile hearts in this particularly angst-driven story. Like the previous recommendation, this fic perfectly captures the pain of the real world, while still emphasizing that things can get better, that if you don’t give up, or even if you have already given up, you can change things for yourself just by believing that you deserve it. This fic is, naturally, littered with hardships and addresses real human sorrow, but it’s also full of love and hope, and lots of laughter. I’ve read it multiple times, and every time I’m left smiling and a little more in love with hl than I was before, so if you’re waiting to read this one or you haven’t done it yet because you’re afraid of the angst, I promise it won’t hurt you.

Sorry this was so long and so extra, but Top 10 is truly an outrageously difficult question! And like… it could change by tomorrow, for all I know! Anyways I hope you enjoy these if you haven’t read them yet, and even if you have read them maybe try giving some of them another go! All of these universes are too wonderful not to enjoy multiple times.

[mina-goroshi-blog]

Worst of the worst (of the worst): Battlefield Earth

As anyone who knows me can attest, I have a deep and abiding love for unpleasant experiences. I’ve been known to pull all-nighters when none are necessary, just because I don’t want to sleep. I seldom exercise, but when the mood strikes I’ll go on 40 km walks and return home with knees locking up and feet blistered. When I cook for myself, I make my food spicy to the point of pain. All of this is, of course, is insane. So why do I do this? Because pain provides context for pleasure. Because pain, on some level, is exciting. Because pain reminds you that you’re still alive.

Battlefield Earth is pain. In rough terms, it is the box that that one Bene Gesserit put Paul Atreides’ hand in. Battlefield Earth is the mind-killer. Battlefield Earth is the little-death that leads to total obliteration.

And I love it. It is wonderful, in its excruciation. Never before or since has a film aimed so high and fallen so low. It is a tale of ambition, hubris, greed, and failure. Battlefield Earth is a Calvinist meditation on the human condition. To watch the film is to experience the pain of Christ as he tread the Via Dolorosa, as John Travolta and Barry Pepper qua the Romans mock you and scourge you. The full weight of every cinematic sin which has ever been committed or will be committed weighs heavily on your shoulders.

And, like the suffering of Christ, Battlefield Earth has a redemptive purpose. There have been bad movies before, and there will be bad movies again; all are dwarfed by the enormity of suck that is Battlefield Earth. One feels oddly at peace, as the experience ends and the tension headache ebbs away. “The sun will rise in the morning,” you think. “There will come another day.” You might even learn a thing or two by watching it.

Join me, then, in finishing the Litany of Fear:

I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where Battlefield Earth has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Shall we begin?

Battlefield Earth opens in the year 3000. For a thousand years, Earth has been under the brutal domination of the Psychlos, a cruel race of dreadlocked alien Nazis kitted out in early-2000s mall goth apparel. The majority of humanity has been enslaved by these raver Klingons. Only a few pockets survive in the wild, where they have been reduced to a stone-age existence. One such specimen of humanity is Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper), our protagonist. As the film opens, Jonnie is leaving his home on a journey of exploration. The audience doesn’t know or care what he’s after; neither does the plot. In short order he is captured by the Psychlos and enslaved.

Terl (John Travolta) is a Psychlo with a problem. As the chief of security for the Earth, he looks forward to the end of his tour of duty, only for the board of directors to extend his deployment another fifty cycles, with endless options for renewal.

Terl hatches a scheme: he will force his enslaved humans to mine gold for him, so that he can buy his way back home. They seem to spend most of their time sitting around in cages and hitting rocks against other rocks, so honestly his plan seems pretty unimpeachable. Conveniently for the plot, Terl chooses Jonnie to carry out his scheme. He puts him through an advanced learning program, taught by a hologram of an alien with very low self-esteem. In a matter of minutes, Jonnie knows all that there is to know. It’s kind of like if the cast and crew of The Matrix spent a long night huffing gasoline before shooting the “I know kung fu” scene.

The training program, of course, also teaches Jonnie how to pilot spaceships, as well as the history of all the earth, the cosmos and the Psychlo race. Having been given a shuttle, the shiftless and workshy Jonnie decides to bring Terl gold from Fort Knox’s stash rather than going to the effort of mining it himself. Since the writers have basically given up at this point, Jonnie also happens to discover a subterranean US army base fully stocked with inexplicably functional and still-fueled warplanes. Within a week, he has trained all the remaining humans to be combat pilots. Terl suspects something is amiss, and to prove his point he shoots a few cows as the horrified humans look on - planting the seed of rebellion that will be his own undoing.

The humans put their plan into effect by launching a full-scale attack on the Psychlo base. In the course of the battle, the massive dome the Psychlos have built over Denver is destroyed, and the Psychlos inside suffocate, unable to breathe the Earth’s atmosphere. Since the plot has entirely stopped trying by now, Jonnie finds a teleportation device and transports an atom bomb to the Psychlo homeworld, Psychlo. It detonates in spectacular fashion, exterminating all life. The humans celebrate this act of genocidal planetary annihilation, Terl is locked in the vault of Fort Knox, and at long last the credits roll.

There is so much wrong with this garbage film that one hardly knows where to begin. Though it sounds like the fevered ramblings of a lunatic, I assure you that the plot summary above is 100% accurate. Narrative elements are introduced and then forgotten about in the space of a single scene. Part of this, I assume, was a perceived need to cram in details from the equally nonsensical 1000-page L. Ron Hubbard book the film was adapted from; this was very much a vanity project for the Church of Scientology (on which more later.) But the film is already vastly too long, while (paradoxically) far too short to deal with all the elements it tries to introduce. The dialogue and characters are no better - Jonnie could have been played to satisfaction by an upturned mop with a cutout of Barry Pepper’s face glued on. John Travolta’s performance is at least memorable in its insanity; every scene he’s in crackles with enthusiasm and Very Big Acting. Travolta was having the time of his life, bless his heart.

The film is notorious also for its horrible design. The lighting for most scenes has a queasy quality reminiscent of a laser tag arena after far too much greasy pizza, while virtually every shot is from an extreme Dutch angle. It’s supposed to make the audience feel uncomfortable and disoriented, I would guess, in which case it congratulations are in order because one does indeed feel rather sick after a while. The net effect reminds one of an uninspired nu-metal video. The special effects are mostly executed competently, for the time, and are of the late 90s school of CG where everything looks vaguely like it’s made of Plasticine. Presumably, some talented artists were involved, which is a real shame because the concept art they were tasked with interpreting puts one in mind of nothing so much as the cover art for a Mexican bootleg VHS of Alien. Even the scene transitions are overdesigned and dumb: there are no less than a dozen of those stupid barn door wipes, which were jarring and weird in Star Wars, when handled by a competent editor, and which are physically painful here. I’d recommend accompanying them with the sound of a slide whistle if you have one to hand.

The people to blame for this unspeakable blasphemy of a film are, of course, the Church of Scientology. L. Ron Hubbard considered the book from which the film was adapted as somewhat of a masterpiece, in clear distinction to the portion of humanity who are allowed to handle sharp objects without supervision, and Scientologists were reportedly ordered to buy multiple copies of it when it was released to help it reach the top of the sales charts. Hubbard apparently had Travolta in mind for the role of Terl from the beginning, and after Travolta’s career was revitalized after Pulp Fiction he threatened, cajoled and pleaded until he was able to secure funding for the film:

Battlefield Earth is the pinnacle of using my power for something. I told my manager, "If we can't do the things now that we want to do, what good is the power? Let's test it and try to get the things done that we believe in."

The Church of Scientology got in on the action, too, its members pestering 20th Century Fox to make the film until the studio heads got fed up and sold the rights to Franchise Pictures, a production studio specializing in untouchable vanity projects. With production costs spiraling to a reported $50 million, hype reached such a high that the Church of Scientology sent a giant inflatable Terl on a nationwide tour.

The success of this film rested on one crucial factor: that it didn’t turn out to be worse than an unanesthetized root canal. Oh, well.

There are reasons to watch this film. That a film like Plan 9 from Outer Space or Troll 2 should have been dreadful was a given: they were shot on a zero-dollar budget, with cardboard sets and props bought from the dollar store, “starring” actors who had never acted before and “directed” by people who had never directed before (and indeed still hadn’t by the end of production.) Battlefield Earth doesn’t have this excuse. A fleet of caterers arrived every morning on set to feed the production. Highly-skilled makeup artists, riggers and lighting technicians toiled away behind the scenes, while some of the biggest stars in Hollywood were in front of the camera. An army of tech artists produced CG assets for this picture, toiling away in obscurity for months in devotion to their art. The film shot was taken to a lab where it was treated by some of the best specialists on earth, meticulously assembled and given form and direction by a small cadre of editors. 50 million dollars were spent, and at the end of it all, Battlefield Earth was the result: a shining monument to failure. This film, which is everything that film shouldn’t be. It is failure. It is ugliness. It is pain.

And without pain, what is pleasure? You can’t afford to miss Battlefield Earth.