#honestly it's wild to say but after being the other woman for that guy on chasable without knowing my life has like. immediately improved

[furryprovocateur]

ik that one post is like "if you're 30 and still on tumblr congrats the mental illness won" but unironically i feel like the past year or so has been the most mentally healthy i've been. even in my down moments i rebound pretty quickly. i'm not even regularly taking my meds for depression tee hee

[jikooklove9795]

Jimin & Jungkook: We're the plot. Try to keep up

When I logged in yesterday, I got a few asks about dating rumors. Same old story. One was about Jimin and the other about Jungkook.

I think the Jimin one came right after he was seen at the airport. It was about Jimin dating Saeon. Imagine their surprise when Jungkook was spotted the very next day flying out to Japan. To join Jimin.

Their logic and theories honestly make me roll my eyes. So according to them, Jimin can’t hang out or travel with friends like a normal person without it turning into a dating rumor? Thanks for making it clear that casual friendships are now off- limits. Wild times we are living in.

I think Jimin said it for you guys specifically when he mentioned he doesn’t even remember what having a crush feels like. He's seen all your dating rumor theories trying to link him with others and he wanted it gone. Because when it comes to love its always been Jungkook for him. Otherwise why would he drop Jungkook’s pic on the board right after singing “Who’s my heart waiting for"? That wasn't subtle. It was a polite way of saying "Stop with the fake rumors, I've already chosen". That was him shutting down outside dating noise and reminding us where his heart actually lies.

It wasn’t his friends or other members who featured on his album, both times, it was Jungkook. First in Letter on FACE, an album which Jimin said was so personal it didn’t feel right to involve anyone else. And then again in WHO, where he pulled a total Taeyang move. Introducing his boyfriend the same way Taeyang introduced his girlfriend. He said it without saying it.

The Jungkook one was about him dating Winter. Honestly, the number of asks I get trying to link him with a woman—any woman—is kind of concerning. One day it’s Chaewon, the next it’s Hyunji, then suddenly it’s Winter and it goes on and on. It’s like they just spin a wheel and go with whoever it lands on.

Remember the day Jungkook attended Aespa’s concert? I got two asks that day. One about Winter, the other about Hyunji. The Hyunji one was hilarious. It was her birthday on March 15, and the anon claimed Jungkook took leave just to celebrate it with her and apparently wore a cap similar to hers. Do they even realize how absurd that sounds? Because literally the next day, he was seen at Aespa’s concert and later he went out to eat with Mingyu. So let me get this straight. Jungkook who was separated from his "gf" took leave to celebrate her birthday, only to ditch her the very next day for a concert and dinner with his friend? Wow. His priorities must be... very unique.

Except the Jungkook I know doesn’t operate like that. He’s always been a satellite orbiting his partner:

The same Jungkook who kept asking Jimin to come over or if he could go to Jimin’s place just to spend time together. The one who went live each time Jimin flew out of the country only to disappear from socials when Jimin came back:

The Jungkook who literally raced through the airport because Jimin was waiting at home. The one who kept watching Jimin’s content, showing how much he misses him, always supporting his work in ways he never has for anyone else. Because Jimin isn’t just a friend. He’s his boyfriend/ partner/ fiancé. And Jungkook knows exactly how to treat those roles differently. His boyfriend has always been his priority and he makes sure we know it.

Both of them couldn't even think about being separated during their military service that they decided to enlist as companions. Making them the first Korean idols/celebrities to choose this option. For them staying together is the top priority.

Now to talk about the Winter situation. Jungkook wearing a Ralph Lauren cap has nothing to do with her. Winter was announced as an ambassador for the brand in Nov 2023. While Jungkook's been wearing that brand long before she was ever announced as an ambassador. I remember him rocking it back in 2022:

The only “proof” these antis have are clothing and accessories. Items that are literally worn by dozens of Korean celebrities.

Meanwhile, Jikook has always set themselves apart even in this area. Matching jackets on Valentine’s Day, couple rings on meaningful Korean couple day:

And they’ve never shied away from it. It’s intentional. They want to be seen, to be linked as partners.

Remember when Jungkook told Jimin they should get matching shorts while filming AYS? And throughout AYS Sapporo, their color-coordinated outfits didn’t go unnoticed.

If Jungkook had a gf most of that 2023 lives would not have happened. He would have happily spent time with her before getting thrown into his crazy schedule. Not to mention Jikook's trip to Japan for AYS. That would have been definitely out of the question. Which bf would spent days away from his gf, abroad with his bandmate, when he would be enlisting in less than 3 weeks? He was swamped with work the minute he landed back in Seoul. If their primary and only objective was about releasing content for fans AYS episodes 1 to 5 would have been more than enough. Jikook flew to Japan on 23rd Nov and flew back to SK on 28th Nov. Not to mention we didnt get to see any of their content from Tokyo. They were in Tokyo for 2 days. Last days before enlistment is very important to people in a relationship that they'll make time for each other no matter what before they get separated for 18 months. And Jungkook? Well he did make time. He cleared 5 days out of his schedule to spend it with his bf, abroad, when he already knew he will have Jimin by his side for the next 18 months too.

On 24th May 2025, Winter was on a schedule with her group to attend fan meetings.

And Jungkook? He was on a different mission. He didn’t go live this time when Jimin flew out. He got on a plane and followed him instead. They recreated the 2023 Silver Day traveling pattern but with a twist. This time its Jungkook following Jimin. Same energy just reversed roles. The intention is still there, loud and clear.

Since we are talking about patterns, here's another one:

They don't play with numbers, they make statements.

Now going back to where I began. Baseless dating rumors. Must’ve been a rough one for the homophobic squad when Jungkook denied having a girlfriend and straight-up said the girlfriend questions were annoying. And just when they thought it couldn’t get worse, he drops the “I go the other way” TikTok like a mic. You really had to push him that hard for him to go out of his way to make a point. That wasn’t a slip-up. That was intentional. Message loud and clear. He's tired of the forced heteronormative narratives, and he’s not here to play along.

Ever wonder why antis come up with a brand new dating rumor for Jimin or Jungkook every few weeks? Or why none of their ships ever last longer than a few weeks? Or why their shipping moments happen only once in a blue moon? It's because their “proof” is basically a collage of matching clothes, accessories, and the occasional concert attendance. Groundbreaking stuff.

Sometimes they get lucky. Like when Jungkook went to Aespa’s concert. Boom! Instant ship with Winter. Until of course, someone pointed out that the cap he wore looks like the one Hyunji wears. How dare he come to support his "gf" while wearing a cap from his other ship 😬 Oops. Now both shippers are side-eyeing each other while Jungkook is out here probably just trying to enjoy music and a night out.

I almost forgot about their wild theories behind Jungkook naming his acc Bow Wow. And a group of shippers swears its because Winter posted something similar to a dog barking and that's why Jungkook chose that name. While way back in 2023, Jungkook said that he most likely would open an IG acc to post about Bam. And every "bow" clearly represents a dog. I’ve yet to meet a single dog that goes around saying 'meow' or 'quack'—unless it’s got a serious identity crisis. I mean, come on, use a little common sense. Yeah 🙂 I still think about that and it never fails to make me laugh thinking how shippers were fighting tooth and nail to own moments for their ship. The dedication is unreal 😂

It’s honestly hilarious how one moment is enough to light their delusional ship on fire, and the very next moment Jungkook himself tosses a bucket of ice water on it, intentionally or not. They must be exhausted trying to keep their narratives afloat.

But hey, maybe instead of blaming Jungkook for "ruining" their shipping dreams, they should question why they’re so desperate to link him with anyone but the one person he actually shows real, consistent intimacy with, Jimin. What’s that about? Oh right, homophobia dressed up as shipping.

Antis are out here linking them to friends, colleagues and random strangers, unlocking new levels of delusion daily. Meanwhile, Jimin and Jungkook are over here casually soft-launching their relationship with couple clues so loud, they might as well rent a billboard.

Credits to the owner of the video

[koneko48]

The Queer Reading of HxH

I’ve read and re-read Hunter x Hunter at least 46 times, and I always come back to the same conclusion: HxH is a queer manga.

First of all, this post is just the first part of my analysis, so I’ll be posting the rest on my account later ;P

1. fan service in shonen manga ૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა

1. Fan service in shonen manga

In the shonen industry, fan service is super common — and it's usually aimed at straight guys. You know the drill: women and girls with boobs bigger than my future, who serve no purpose other than being love interests, random nude scenes for no reason, super sexualized outfits… The thing is, these manga are traditionally made for an exclusively straight male audience, so they often end up being sexist or ignoring the existence of complex female characters altogether.

2. Fan service in hxh ? ¯_(- > -)_/¯

So, is there fan service in HxH? The answer is yes. Like most other shonen series, Hunter x Hunter does include fan service — but in a very… unique way.

While reading Yoshihiro Togashi’s work (the mastermind behind the manga), I realized something wild: the fan service is almost entirely male. Nope, not a joke!

There are tons of shirtless dudes in HxH — really, it’s everywhere. But if you’re looking for even one nude woman? Good luck. I haven’t found a single one. And when I say fan service, I’m not kidding!

Hisoka, for example, (besides wearing heels) is very "provocative" — that's what people would say about him if he were a woman.

Hisoka at his prime.

And don’t even get me started on Killua, who made me so jealous because when I was 12, I didn’t have a six-pack… (╥﹏╥)

Bro’s supposed to be younger than me, help!

Besides the sexualization, female characters are actually quite well represented in the manga, as well as in both anime adaptations (1999 and 2011). Take Biscuit Krueger for example, Gon and Killua’s Nen teacher. At first, we’re led to believe she’s a cute little girl — very kawaii (probably a nod to Togashi’s wife’s manga, Sailor Moon). But a few episodes later, we see her true form: she’s actually 57 years old and can transform into a bodybuilder whenever she wants. Biscuit is known to be very strong and uses Nen like no one else, since she even taught it to her students. Remember after her transformation in front of one of the three Boomers, Boomer #3 asked her why she hid her true form from people, to which she replied that she was very self-conscious about her body (I’ve never seen that in any other manga in my life) and that it wouldn’t be a secret technique otherwise.

Anyway, besides Biscuit, I have plenty of other female characters in mind, like Morena Prudo, who is insolent, mean, wants to kill everyone, very intelligent and doesn’t hide it, and scares men, etc. Or Senritsu / Melody (I really like Melody), who literally has baldness and works as a bodyguard in the mafia. And then there’s Teta, who has a square-shaped head (I cried when I saw her design ✧｡٩(ˊᗜˋ )و✧*｡) and teaches Nen to the biggest antagonist in the story, which requires great mental strength, and who doesn’t hesitate to shoot him dead cold in the head.

3. Oh I almost fgt ! Kurapika ! ‧₊˚🕷‧₊˚

His case is quite funny since we don’t actually know if Kurapika is a girl or a boy. At first glance, if you watched the English version or any non-Japanese one, you’d be sure he’s a boy... But if, like me, you have the IQ of a rock and when you first read about Kurapika, you thought she was a girl because he wears a dress and has long hair, then concluded he was a boy after googling… well, Google lied to us! In reality, we DO NOT know Kurapika’s gender. In the manga, he uses "watashi wa," a very rare pronoun in everyday language because it’s gender-neutral. On top of that, Togashi (he’s insanely talented) has never stated anything about it. Conclusion: I have no freaking idea and honestly, I don’t care. Maybe he's non-binary...

Ultimate conclusion of my whole post: It’s clear that Togashi didn’t create HxH for a straight male gaze (no one will talk about the reactions me and my friends had when we saw Hisoka half-naked).

ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

Coming soon: "LGBT Characters in HxH" 🌈 (yeah, I put a rainbow)

[thegoldensundreamer]

Love At Last

Onyankopon x black!reader

Warnings: exes, use of n word, squirting, fingering (f receiving), eating out (f receiving)

Word Count: 6.2k

He was a little older than me. A junior, and I, a sophomore. In college, you only had two focuses: have fun and study, and truthfully it helped me. No matter what anyone told me I had control to do whatever I wanted in life and didn't want anyone's opinions on how I'd be living it.

Honestly, that's what made my other ex's love me and even some, hate me.  But I mean it wasn't like he was always putting his expectations too high for me. Onyankopon just wanted to see me as my best self. When we broke up and I told him the reason as to why I couldn't do it anymore, it all really didn't make sense. I wanted to tell myself that I knew the reason as to why he was just so terrible but subconsciously I knew I didn't. And it was hard for me these past months. Really hard. I been seeing him on campus like a thousand times and he just keeps getting more beautiful and glowin like the sun.

He's the head of his team now and it never helps me that he didn't ever have any girls he just messed around with. Especially bonding and having a real relationship with his exes. Including me. And Its painful seeing him just living his life and me not hating him for any reason because he is really a great guy. So whenever I see him I make sure to shift my eyes to the complete opposite direction of where his head is at. Or even cover my face with a book or a water bottle to not have that awkward walk past. But I kind of wish he chased after me... and although I know its selfish I'm just as confused as when I left that boy. But I guess we all just have to move on.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"The assignment is still due this Sunday at 11:59 on Blackboard. I don't want any emails, text messages, or conversations next class about an extension. Period."

I honestly think Professor Rodriguez is tweaking now. No excuses? What if someone is sick or something?

The whole class groans as we pack all of our stuff. I mean, it's just a paper so I'm not tripping or anything. I just got to make sure to do it before the Que party this weekend. There's never been a problem before so I don't think I have anything to worry about.

Me and my girls have been planning to go to one of the Que parties we keep infamously hearing about. It's always wild, lit, and memorable till you graduate. All of a sudden when you get that degree they don't exist no more because you don't want no one to know of the hoe tales.

I haven't been to one of their parties yet, but Im excited. I haven't been outside in a while especially since I ended things with Ony. A few kickbacks here and there were going on this past semester for me but that's about it. I like being inside just as much or even more than I like being out.

When I walk down the university building, I put in my headphones ready to blast some Sexyy Red. That woman music got something in it I swear.

"I'm looking for the hoooesssss" I mouth to myself while I nod my head. Shit, I forgot how hard that bass goes. As I bob my head I can't remotely hear the voice behind me trying to catch my attention.

It was Jaden, one of Ony’s teammates, and he's also in Professor Rodriquez class. He gave up calling my name and just let me go.

•••

When I finally left the building and head to my car I instantly switch my music over to the Bluetooth aux and look at my assignment before I pull off. You see... he assigned it to us last Friday and I for real have just been procrastinating till now. I would say my time management is usually really good but its not.

"Ok so I got to just write about 500 words. I could do this tonight no problem."

I put down my phone and start adjusting my rear view mirror only to find light grey clouds of the day turning darker grey. I really hope it don't storm when I'm on the road.

Driving out of the lot and onto the highway, I continue blasting my hoochie playlist. Shrugging at the random pain in my heart I'm feeling, I call one of my girls talking about how much I think this party gon cut all my feelings from Ony and revive the party girl in me.

Im pulling into my apartment complex excited . I haven't been this joyous to go to a party in a while. The mere thought of shaking ass is bringing me serotonin. Just a sweet release of stress. Plus, it's Friday and the party is Saturday night so I'm definitely geeking.

When I stumble up the steps right before the entrance to my residence giddy and jovial, looking for my key, I slightly looked up. The scream in my head is definitely showing me how much I'm not over this feeling in my heart.

I stopped my movement and fought the urge to back step all the way back into my car and hide. I'm not sure why hes here at this time. It's 5:30 which isn't late for real but just a bit confusing enough to make you question why the hell someone is at your door uninvited. Especially since its here. At my apartment. And it's him. With his aura and skin glistening like oil on a hot body.

He was in some black muscle shirt with matching jogger pants. Shyly smiling at me at first but then noticing my expression, he looked down at the state of his body and cringed before looking back in my eyes. Clearly embarrassed. "Sorry you seeing me like this, I just came from practice so I'm still a little sweaty"

I secretly moaned in my head. He looks so good I had to catch my breath and his voice is still captivating up to now. I still can't forget the way he used to t-

I'm getting sidetracked. Let me regain this composure.

"Is there something you need?" I quietly ask. This is no good. The whole point is out of sight out of mind. You know how you want to block somebody on everything and really go out of your way to not see them in person so you won't have to think about them or double back? Well I feel like I'm breaking that right now. It's not my fault sure but the shame still feels the same.

Ony pulls out an object from his pocket. A white, slightly long but thin figure. He looks at it for a moment before looking up at me again and holding it up.

"I came here to give this to you. Im pretty sure it's yours. At least that's what Jaden said."

I squint my eyes in confusion at what he was holding and hurriedly looked through my tote bag to find that I did not have my Apple Pencil for my iPad.

So that's why he's here.

Apple pencils are expensive so I'm not mad. I would've been more upset if I only figured out I dropped it when I got inside and tried to start my paper. But how did he even get it?

He reached his arm out as I began to walk up to him for my pencil. I thanked him for bringing it to me and awkward silence overtook the little rain droplets that noted the thunderstorm about to take place.

Our hands touched ever so slightly as I grabbed my missing pencil. I withdrew immediately and he did the same faintly after. After a few long seconds, he broke the silence.

"Jaden gave it to me at the locker rooms after practice. He said he tried to give it to you after class but couldn't catch up or something so I guess he just wanted me to carry out the deed especially with some paper he mentioned."

I grinned and slightly nodded in understanding, quickly glancing at his eyes before staring at the Apple Pencil. It's strange. He can't really look me in the eye. I mean, I can't either but he's 6'2" so my excuse is good. On top of that, the nonchalance in his tone doesn't sit right with me. It's either he's forcing it or a part of me wants to believe he is just to delude myself that he still cares. It's unfair of me, especially since I probably broke his heart, but it's the real.

"I'll thank Jaden when I see him next class. Thank you for bringing it to me." I quip and walk past him to my door, beginning to find my keys in my bag with the pencil still in hand.

Damn when did I get this shy?

Onys attempt at being nonchalant somewhat was breaking. He stared at the pencil smiling as he spoke and pointed.

"I'm surprised you still have Chowder on there".

I turned my head around, mid-hand in bag. He was referring to the little sticker I had on my ex-missing item. The one that would help me differentiate my pencil from everyone else's so no one would take it. The one he gave me as a funny gift for the love of our mutual favorite childhood show.

I'm surprised he still remembers these little details about me. About us.

"Well it's still my favorite show. I don't think that's ever going to change." I giggle looking back for my keys.

It's hard to do this. To face him. How do people talk to their exes? This isn't even my first but damn. Now my minds all over the place with him and us all over it. All those memories we share. Good and bad.

I stop fiddling in my bag and spoke under my breath with the same thought, caught up in the idea.  "I'm surprised you still remember." I mumbled to myself.

I can feel his presence and his eyes on me, not exactly sure what his actions are. But his voice speaks up with a small sense of fervor in his tone. Something undeniably him. The tone I always craved since it left me.

"Y/n, you can't tell me you don't call to mind how Ive remembered every single thing I've been blessed to learn about you"

I still my hands from roaming once again after I found my keys. At this point, I don't know what's going on. But as I motion my mouth to find what to say a grand lightning bolt flashed down from the sky, hitting somewhere nearby. Thunder that sounded like an earthquake erupted, immediately pouring heavy rain down with it. With that, we instantaneously saw lampposts shut off. All electricity in the area immediately being gone in an instant.

"Ain't no way" I groaned. I can't believe this. I look around at all of the dark areas surrounding the complex except for the emergency lights powered from the generator. Putting my keys in the door, I heavily sigh opening up my residence.

Slowly walking in to the dim natural light from the blinds I turn around to Onyankopon, standing still at the doorstep, and tell him he can come in.

"Are you sure? My car is all good and everything I can still drive."

"In this storm?" I ask raising my eyebrow. I rolled my eyes, "You not gon get nowhere the way this storm going right now. It's fine. Plus, your place is probably out of electricity too."

He nods, "Well thanks, I really appreciate it" He awkwardly steps into the 3 bedroom apartment. My girls usually have class during this time last I checked so we're the only ones here.

I grab some candles to light across my home hoping for some sort of spark to brighten up the place.

Once I withdrew a breath and looked around, the rooms seemed to be lit up enough comfortably outside of the insanely romantic essence it gave off. I stood up from where I was crouched by the living room table where I made eye contact with him sitting up on the couch.

"Soooo could I get you anything?" I awkwardly stand there and he's just sitting... menacingly.

Ugh who am I kidding he looks so geeked out right now.

"It's honestly fine. Once the storm passes I'll be right out forreal you don't have to go through any trouble." He laughs.

With that in mind I obliged and went to my room setting up my laptop and iPad with my now found Apple Pencil. Since the electricity's gone that means I shouldn't have any distractions on focusing on my work.

"Right y/n, focus on the goal. It don't matter that your ex is in the other room. Get on your zoom!" Mumbling to myself  as I type in my username to blackboard to view the rubric.

"What the-"

Shit. Of course blackboard and the wifi is down too if all the electricity is out.

As I groan and leave my room to get a glass of water, I'm getting Ony one too. Seeing him roaming on his phone and placing the glass in front of him on the table I sit on the sofa opposite of him.

He looks up from his phone, "You did not have to do this", he began to grin to himself as he lifted the cup and started to drink.

As I began to speak we both got a notification.

ALL UNIVERSITY STUDENTS: ELECTRICITY IS DOWN ON CAMPUS AND ON AND OFF CAMPUS HOUSING DUE TO A SEVERE WEATHER STORM. MORE UPDATES WILL COME SOON. CURRENTLY, AN ESTIMATION OF 3 HOURS WILL BE NEEDED TO REPAIR DAMAGES TO ELECTRICAL UNITS.

"Fuck" I groaned.

"You're not gonna be able to finish that paper huh?" He questioned.

"No and it's due Sunday. I was hoping to knock it out today before the weekend really starts. I don't need to procrastinate anymore than I already have."

"Oh trust me I remember." He laughed. "I can help yknow. There's nothing else we can do here."

"On what though? Blackboard is down."

"Not google docs or notes app though." He smiled, "As long as you know what you're supposed to write about you're set."

"But I like looking at the rubric when I write to make sure my grades solidified"

"I'm hearing a lot of excuses misses honors student. If you wanted to do it you would at this point. Plus, my specialty is writing papers so I can definitely help"

I remember oh so well. This reminds me of when I procrastinated on a paper last semester the weekend before it was due just like this one and we stayed up till 3 AM writing it. So many laughs and double shot espressos from that time. His specialty really is writing essays and all sorts of papers. That assignment was 5000 words and we started the Saturday and still got an A.

"Shit, why not. It's only 500 words anyway" I joke.

He smiled and we got to work. The first hour went by like nothing. It felt like old times. 200 words were typed but the only thing holding us back was that I actually need to have proper cited sources. Professor Rodriguez do not play around either so it's been a painstaking amount of time trying to find anything with no internet and a on and off personal hotspot.

As Ony and I sit next to each other working on the paper, he lifts up his glass and it accidentally slipped out of his hands onto the table.

"Ah damn I'm so sorry. Let me-"

"No it's cool." I put down my laptop and got up to get a paper towel. When I sat back down and handed the paper towel to him our hands touched again. That once jovial, funny and somewhat relaxed mood we had was now gone. We're exes. This isn't what exes do. We're not friends.

But shit we were . That was exactly what we were like before we started anything or knew there was something there. Even during our relationship we felt just like this at times too. Where the hell did we go? Why did I let us go?

The awkward touch we had became more intimate as I decided to gently grab his hand. The eye contact he made was confused but willing. It spoke "why haven't you done this all this time while I'm right here?" Or at least that's what I think.

Our hands interlocked letting go of the paper towel at this point. Eye contact on something serious as we ask questions to each other with them. As I began to lean down on the couch, Ony couldn't stop staring between my eyes and my lips. He eventually and quickly took the dive, trying not to lose the moment. Embers burned and flowed through the air as he began to shift from my power to his. He embarked on leaning my back onto the couch rather than his. Hands splayed in my locs and taking small breaks to breathe before going back in.

Small moans escape my mouth as he's working me. Kisses pressed on my lips were coming down my chin... then my neck as he suckled on my skin. His hands roamed my body slowly. One on the side of my stomach nearing my ass and the other beginning to feel my breast under my shirt. At this point, he's starting to get more vocal, groaning and whispering sweet nothings along my body.

"You know how much I've missed you y/n. How much I've missed this pretty face... this pretty body... and this pretty pussy" he hissed one kiss after another. "Is this all ok? If you're not fine with this of course I'll stop. Tell me what you want."

His asking for consent was always so sexy and those words... damn I missed him and this.

I looked at his lust blown eyes as he looked up to mine from my stomach as he briefly stopped from going lower and lower.

"I want you Q. I'm all yours." My composure is definitely done at this point. He's got me right now.

"Don't worry. You know I will always take care of you." He slurred, slowly sliding my bottoms and panties down and kissing my inner thighs before locking them in his arms. It's been a while since I've been in this position and I've missed it since forever ago.

Slow pecks from my thighs came closer and closer to the apex of them. He must could tell how nervous I was since his thumbs gently rubbed where they laid at to comfort me. Im in love with the way they feel on me.

"So as you can see I do have some hair ri-"

He side eyed me. "Y/n I'm a grown ass man. You know I like my peaches with some fuzz on it. Now can I have my dinner please?"

He can get so forward like this it's making me shy. I rolled my eyes and laid my head back. I never thought I'd be in this predicament.

"Good girl. Just stay just like that baby."

He nestled his lips on my bundle, wrapping them on to gently suck at a slow and smooth pace. His rhythm was gradually fastening and shortly, his lips unattached from my clit to lap at the bundle once more flicking his tongue. He remembers. He always remembers what I like.

Beginning to close my legs from the sensation, he parts me once again lapping at my cunny fervently. Like some undying need that he can't let go. As a "punishment" for me not taking it, he inserts a finger and then a second to make me break even more than I already am.

I plead and moan, "Ony, baby, I'm leaking"

I can barely control my body now. My breath getting fainter as I breathe heavy.

"Good. You know that's what I want." He keeps pumping. Squelching ensues as he becomes infatuated with his doing. "Look at that shit. All for me huh" He asks looking at my fucked out face.

I disappointedly moan when his fingers leave me but he swipes my essence from its trail and sucks his fingers while maintaining eye contact with me. I whimper and squeeze at the sight.

I guess he wanted to finish the job though. I tried to reach over to slip my hand in his boxers just for him to grab my wrist and pin both of my hands down to finish what he started.

It's always like a switch in him when he's like this. So different from the sweet Onyankopon from everyday that everyone knows. So nasty. I love it. I miss it.

He mischievously watches me. "You feel this?" I moan as he pumps his fingers back in me. I roll my eyes to the back of my head and he chuckles. "I'm gonna take that as a yes. Let me make you cum, princess."

He lowered his head down again as he continued pumping into me. Licking a stripe up my honey and continuing the mess he was creating previously. Languid strokes of his tongue were hitting me just right and my moans started turning to desperate whimpers.

Building me up for a while, he then dipped his muscle into my pussy and interchanging with his fingers, curling them with each stroke. His other hand left my thigh and his thumb began rubbing my clit. Faster and faster he went I started to find my stomach tensing and the air becoming hard to breathe.

In between heavy pants I slip out "O, stop, I'm gonna make a mess!" my eyes rolling to the back of my head and legs lifting and coming together.

He didnt stop and pinned me down pressing on my lower stomach. My moans became octaves higher and higher. He lifted his head from my cunny, "you gon take it and make a mess all over my face. Don't hold back nothing."

With that, he continued his ministrations. My grip on his hair became as tight as it could as I could feel my voice go weak. My legs began to shake as clear liquid lightly sprayed out onto his face and a white ring began to form on his fingers. My pants were beginning to rapidly slow down as I came down from my high, un loosening the death grip I had on his head.

He came back up kissing my cheek then licking my essence off his face and fingers, "Always taste so good." Proceeding to take a rag from my bedroom to clean me up and carrying me to my bed.

Before we even got the chance to speak about what happened, my eyes fell. A nap took over both of us and hours that felt like minutes rolled by.

His arm around me as we slept on our sides felt  like old times. Like something right that I just ripped away from my body. It's so comfortable.

After a dream I couldn't remember, I wake up in a daze, looking behind me to see him knocked out and his arm still around my waist.

Gently moving it off of me, I slowly get up and walk to the bathroom.

"Shit I might as well take a shower"

To be honest, none of this has settled in my head yet. My ex boyfriend who I'm clearly not over in my bedroom after being nasty on the couch is sleeping on my bed... crazy. Real fanfiction kind of shit.

Pushing the light switch up, I notice the bulb illuminate the room. Thank the Lord almighty. I put on my shower cap and get in. I feel myself let go of a breath I didn't know I had when the hot water hits my skin.

This is insane. I shouldn't be hooking up with my ex. I cut it off for a reason... I think. It's gotta be this way for the both of us so nobody gets hurt.

"Bitchhhh" I think to myself in the shower holding my head.

Leaving the bathroom with my towel on, I see my ex looking over at me from his phone, arm now holding his head up to stare me up  and down in awe.

"It's been a while since I seen this view"

I cut my eyes and stand in front of him on my bed. "Look we need to talk- " and my head turned immediately when I heard the front door of the apartment open. Thankfully, my room doors closed, but my girls walked in the apartment gossiping when they called out my name to have our daily debrief of the day.

I cuss at myself and know they probably see the cups of water, candles, and his shoes at the door as they fell silent. Whispering to themselves with words I couldn't make out,  I eventually hear a knock at my door.

I looked at Ony, mortified with a finger to my lips, then took a deep breath, opening the door so they can only see me still in my bath robe.

"Heyyy" I greeted with the awkwardest get out and don't make this weird smile I know.

"Hey mookie, we just wanted to check on you and see if you're good with the electricity going off and everything earlier." One of them said, clearly peeking inside my bedroom to see who's here, eyes widening that it was him before he could move himself. She gave me a look and I gave her one back like we telepathic or something.

"Girl yknow I'm good, just trying to finish this paper" I say hoping she takes the message that I know she's getting from me right now.

"Yeah I'm sure it's realll hard" She said acting like a real smart ass.

With a few more exchanges they go to their rooms to settle down for the night. After hearing both of their doors close I rush back to my room.

"Yeah, you gotta go" picking up his clothes and pushing them to his chest.

"But-"

"Look, I wish there was a better time to talk, but you have to go. This... is strange. We broke up. There's a reason why this ended. I know it was probably stupid of me to let you stay here during the storm, but this wasnt my intention." Pointing at the both of us.

I picked his arm up before he could get a word out to reason with me, clothes just tussled onto his body. If he sweet talks me again I really might not double back this time.

We get to the door and with the least amount of strength he has, he turns his body towards me and gently grabs my hand before I could open the door placing it back by my side.

"Y/n...why are you letting go of us... again? This still doesn't make sense and you know that."

I still. I remember this feeling... this sense of regret. But just like last time, I can't tell if it's the wrong choice or because I don't want to let go.

In truth, Ony feels... familiar. He'll always feel like a memory and I don't want to get too comfortable in his light of nostalgia. He brought such a level of solace in my life that I never wanted to replace. It was even more so after we became official....I don't want to become stagnant because of it. I have my own dreams, my own endeavors, and my own goals that I want to reach. It would be so easy to be a trophy wife to him... and he'd gladly let me. As a woman, I don't want that to be the tell all be all of my life when I know that I had a life before him. I didn't know if I could escape from it then and I definitely don't know now. That's the real reason why I keep shutting him out and probably why we broke up... but he can't know that.

"Because I know we won't end well. We're two different people Ony and this idea that you can just up and think everything is picture perfect for us has to stop now"

He looks in my eyes with such disappointment, then slight anger as his eyebrows pushed together. He opened his mouth to speak again but thought about it and decided not to, closing his eyes in the process. With a heavy huff from his chest, he looked at my eyes one last time for the night before turning away and leaving the complex.

When I shut the door, My girls came out immediately like paparazzi.

"You were over him huh?" One of them snarled at me. "It don't seem that way to me love. Maybe you shouldn't even go to the party tomorrow."

I looked down at the ground and they both took notice of my state. We all went to my bedroom and I explained everything that happened tonight. Their eyes looked at mine with frustration and awe. I held my head knowing their reaction just like they've been telling me for the past 3 months.

"You are not over that boy y/n"

"I think you're confused"

And they're right. I am. But I tell them the same thing I told them every time.

"But when he makes it to the league, what am I going to do? Wag my tail like a dog after him and have niggas tell me that I want his money or that I don't have half his talent for anything like them bitches was saying when we were together? And what if he cheats? He gon have hella girls at his disposable and I'll be feeling stupid like  "I really wasted my time on this nigga". Y'all know how much I love Ony and I was just getting over him too. This is for the best for me right now y'all know that"

They gave each other a look and got up to hug me.

"Whatever decision you choose to make girl you know we got you. Just remember to listen to your heart sometimes"

With that, we said our little goodbyes and retired for the night. Ony on my mind, I went to bed.

Waking up, he is still on my mind. Getting my laptop, I tried to continue the paper but had no will power to do so. The whole morning and afternoon felt like that... no volition and all a blur. Wasting away in my bed after the three different times my girls checked up on me throughout the day I just can't escape him. It doesn't help having the daydream engrained of what could've been present with our past. In that same thought, I hear a buzz on my phone, too in tune with the delusional reaction thinking it could be him.

I look at it to see the ticket for the party tonight that one of my girls sent. I groan and get up, finally deciding to start my day and also prepare myself for tonight.

Hype hoochie music is playing on my speaker and I hear Looking For the Hoes again. I'm thinking of how good everything was before all that happened yesterday. Do I even regret it? Am I blocking my blessings?

I can't let a man distract me from my life though. There's a life before and after him and I have to remind myself of that.

Finally finished with my look and it finally being an hour after the party started, me and my girls head out for the wild night we been planning for months.

What I didn't know was that the line would feel like 3 miles long and realizing we need our ID when we're finally 5 feet before the security. Why are parties this complicated? I don't know. But luckily we all at least have pictures of our ID and got in.

When we step foot into the party, the first thing we see is purple lights illuminating the entire venue. People are scattered everywhere and in every other corner we see the Ques barking and hopping to their stroll.

"Lawd have mercy" one of my homegirls say in love with the ques. Me and the other laugh and roll our eyes.

After some time just standing, we decided to find a small table and sit down with our small get ups. Our drinks from the pregame were starting to kick in after 10 minutes and we were laughing our ass off drunk when we hear "Girl the way you move it got me in a trance-", and that was it. All of us pulled each other to the dance floor and start to turn up. I'm throwing ass on my home girl and catching from the other.

I needed this. Seriously. I forgot how fun it is to be outside in the streets. Seconds later, we hear a scream and laugh from a girl and gasp from the crowd. One of the Ques picked up a girl and started acting like he was eating her out.

We all looked at each other with our jaws dropped. Ain't no wayyyyy. They were not lying bout it getting wild.

Right behind where I see the spotlight shining, about 30 feet away, I saw a face I didn't think I'd see at all. Just as his eyes set in on the scene before him he also saw my eyes and we made eye contact for a brief second.

I turned my body so fast that I almost knocked my home girl over. In the middle of her fussing me out she asked what happened. Naturally, I told her that Ony is at the party.

"Why is a nigga at a Que party is the real question though?"

"Girl unimportant can we please move somewhere else"

We all move to a separate section of the party venue. This can not happen. I'm drunk and I been dancing? I can not see or be around that man right now.

Before I could even get the nightmare out my head, I hear a "Y/n" near my head. I turn around mouth slightly agape to see him once again. Even finer in his put together party get up than his athlete clothes from yesterday. My mind all caught up in him just like last time I'm in a blur of what he's actually saying to me.

"Y/n, why are you here right now?" He whispers yells in my ear from the loud music blasting from the speakers.

I look to my left and right and my homegirls dashed off like the road runner... traitors.

Looking at him once again, eyes low from the drink in my system I ask, "Ony, why would it matter to you? I'm not your girl and you not my man. We single. The real question is why you're at a Que party." Remembering what my homegirl had said to bite back at him.

He fixes his face, his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek looking at me clearly frustrated. Just looking at his face he can't leave me alone. Sorry that's just drunk me talking I don't know whats on his mind.

"Y/n, why the hell you been drinking so much? Don't you got a paper to finish?"

"Ony you are not my daddy get up out my face!" I yell at him. "I'm out here having fun with my girls trying to get over YOUR ASS so why can't you just mind yo business!" Oops. My eyes widened, that last part wasn't supposed to come out. Fuck.

Shit, how did he react to that?

Without time for me to look up and see his face or even hear him utter a word, he has my hand in his and leading me somewhere and fast. I'm trying to keep up but it's kind of hard to have good foot and direction coordination in a party like this and off my ass.

With all of the movement feeling like a blur, I found both of us outside of the party venue from some back door. It's slightly raining by the building and the night sky showed a bright orange street light that was our only light source.

He takes off his jacket and puts it over my shoulders to warm me. It's a bit cold. What a gentleman.

"Y/n ... what did you say?"

He stares directly in my eyes with a sense of fervency and hope. One that I can't deny now.

Part 2?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Authors Note: Hi y'all! I haven’t written fanfic in soooo long but never stopped reading lmao. I loveeee this one so much. It’s Literally the best fic ive done period thus far. I’m trying to think if I should start writing again fr esp for my fictional anime men.

[drdemonprince]

sorry if this is too long but i really appreciate your perspective and would love some advice

i have a mixed gender friend group irl, however i am the only transmasc in the group (the rest of the group is queer transfems, queer cis women, and our token cishet guy) and ive run into a little issue in that im quite close to one of the cis girls of the group, and we occasionally have deep chats about our queer identities (we're both aro, im ace, shes bi) . these chats are great and i really appreciate her as a friend but one thing shes always bringing up, even in unrealted conversations is how much she hates men .

im not a transandrobro so this isn't gonna be one of those "im one of the good ones" or "i feel guilty for being transmasc" asks dw. the issue came up when i was discussing how i was going to start T pretty soon (i pass decently well without it already but as more of a butch/androgynous type look) and as we were talking about the changes she was acting... genuinley scared and disgusted??

especially when i talked about how i will likely grow more body hair, and how T affects scent and stuff. she was almost horrified. "yeah but you dont want that right? youll shave it?" . i already dont shave my body hair (she does) and i cant help but feel scared that one of my closest friends is going to find me revolting once i start transitioning medically.

i didnt even mention bottom growth after that because i was so scared of what her reaction to that would be.

idk if you have any experience or advice for this? or any reading on the subject? ive found that its only the cis women in my friend group who are acting this way as well. i feel like maybe its because theyve secretly been viewing me as "just" a masculine woman this whole time. i id as nonbinary with the group, but secretly i really do think im a trans man, but based on the disgust with those things im reluctant to come out again.

Honestly this is a really common way that cis women microaggress against trans mascs! Those two identities have competing privilege/oppression intersections and a lot of really wild shit can play out as a result, as well as due to the projection that can happen because both groups have shared a social identity at some point (whether we liked it or not). It may not be fixable, but I think you need to set the tone that this kind of negative commentary on your transition and body is NOT acceptable, and to do so EARLY, so that you are establishing ground rules for how you will be treated.

Example conversation:

You: So I started getting some hair on my neck around my Adam's apple.

Her: Ewwwww, but you're going to shave it right?

You: (pause and look at her seriously). Gender transition is something I'm very excited about and that's very good for me, you know. I am happy about everything that's happening and I hope that as my friend you would be happy for me too.

Let's say that she continues to be somewhat shitty about your transition multiple times. Here is how you might escalate without totally blowing your lid.

Her: Wow, your [voice is so deep/your acne is getting so bad/your hair pattern is changing/whatever thing she is being shitty about].

You: (stop whatever task you're doing if any to give this full attention. lock eyes with her, maybe even sigh). I have told you multiple times not to comment on my appearance. It makes me very uncomfortable. I don't enjoy spending time with people who comment on how I look.

I think your focus should be not on correcting her feelings, which she needs to go like stare at a pond and reflect about on her own, but instead reign in her shitty commentary completely -- and if she won't do that for you, then you will need start ending conversations/walking away/not inviting her to things/whatever other boundary setting strategy you like. I would prioritize nipping the personal comments in the bud over the "men are so disgusting and evil" kind of commentary, because I think that matters more and seems to bother you more -- but if it were me? I would also be pissed that she wasn't including me in the category of "men" when she was talking about them, and would say things like "I'm a man too, you know." Or "Yeah, WE can be kind of annoying/boorish/smelly sometimes." This isn't some transandrobro NOT ALL MEN thing, it's an anti-transphobia don't misgender me thing. And perhaps by taking accountability for all that manhood is -- the good and the bad, the euphoric and the just neutral, you will influence her in a positive way to think about these things more neutrally. If not, well, that's her fuckin loss.

[voices-in-dark-violets-head]

I just walked past a fox in a hotel's corridor.

To be clear, this isn't some quick-fiction Tolkien-esque fantasy, where there are elves and beastkin around every corner. And neither is this a tale of some run-down motel that can't keep out the city's scavengers - it's actually a fairly fancy and well-to-do place.

No, I'm just talking about a fox in a hotel corridor - or, to be more specific, someone dressed in a detailed, full-bodied fox costume.

Well anyway. I didn't really pay much attention to them. I'll be honest, it just wasn't really all that shocking. After all, in that same corridor, I'd walked past a wolf, a zebra, and two cute bird-dragons called 'avali', and the only one I really looked at for any amount of time was a fluffy lizard-like creature, who had a glowing LED-screen snout giving an RGB grin to its friends. My mind was simultaneously elsewhere - after all, I'd just come from a bar where a guy in ears, a crop top, and a mini-skirt was spinning some chill beats to a sea of chattering rainbow-clad partiers. And I was also thinking ahead to a panel in an hour, where people who enjoyed the idea of eating each other would meet to chat (I would not end up going to it, since it overfilled its room).

Honestly, to me, the most surprising thing in the corridor was someone wearing a suave black beret which really matched their jacket. I made sure to tell them. I got a beaming smile in response.

This is what it's like at a furry convention.

I don't know what you think of when I say that term. I don't know if you're a furry veteran, and this all sounds familiar and nostalgia-inducing. I don't know if you're a young furry or new to the fandom, and it sounds inconceivable that I'd walk past a fursuiter and barely be able to recall the species. You may even not be in the fandom at all, and perhaps so separated from the culture that you're still waiting for me to explain that whole enjoying-eating-each-other thing.

You might have heard stories of raucous sex-parties. Maybe that old CSI episode with a pile of writhing horny furries flickers through your mind. Maybe such sordid nights are repulsive to you. Maybe you can't stop wondering. Maybe you sit in your room at night, picturing the fantasy of being tied up in a hotel room in some foreign country. Maybe you've heard of the drama, of pizzas and latex and projectors on hotel buildings and-

…Let me tell you what it feels like, this furry con, at a nice lakeside hotel just outside a city in the middle of England. Let me tell you of the pride flags that colour the walls and booths and flow as capes. Let me tell you how noisy it is in the bars, Vengaboys playing over the speakers, where every table has a gaggle of friends talking about who-knows-what, or fiddling around card games, or browsing Bluesky with their fursuit head laying on the table and their hair matted against their neck. Let me tell you of the muffled laughter through the walls of the next panel room where artists are drawing fursuiters using Mario Paint (SNES, 1992). Let me tell you of getting a ping on your phone, because the official convention announcement channel just sent four thousand attendees a joke about badgers.

Let me tell you about sitting down at a table you've squeezed into near the bar, between a friend who's a robot and a friend who's two people, and plonking down a pitcher of furry-themed cocktail in front of a killer trans woman that you met at a gameshow about porn, and immediately getting a full-bodied hug from their girlfriend that you've never met before in your life.

Let me tell you about how different - how loving - how accepting - how eclectic and wild and colourful it is, that a fox in a hotel corridor is something you barely notice.

Welcome to a furry convention.

I hope to see you there.

[elsafowl]

SPOILERS FOR ANDOR SEASON 2 EPISODE 6

Let me tell you something: I've been watching Andor since the very first episode, and I have nothing but praise for this show.

Well, "had" is more correct.

Yes, I know, Cinta's death was supposed to illustrate the danger of disorganisation and not obeying a hierarchy. Sure, not everyone can have a happy ending when you're fighting for the rebellion. Heck, I'm not even expecting one character (well, except Mon Mothma) from the main cast to survive past the events of Rogue One. But see, there's writing a character death and writing a character death.

Cinta, as a character, was not respected in season 2 - not in her arc, not in her death. Honestly, I was waiting for something like that to happen: we barely see her in the trailers. My hopeful ass was like, "Well, that's because she's doing awesome shit - therefore, they don't want to spoil too much of what will happen by putting her in the trailers." But there was another explanation: they kill her off early, and she barely appears in the season at all. Guess what they choose.

And for what? We already got an arc about disorganisation/not obeying the hierarchy within the Resistance with Cassian in the first three episodes. The French Ghorman Resistance was bound to fail somehow - we've known this for multiple episodes. Do we need to sacrifice a main character over this?? Really?? Especially to make them fail in such an underwhelming manner??

It all just feels so pointless. Of course, the angry guy from the meeting will appear out of nowhere in the middle of the night. Of course, even though they have no reason to hate each other, him and the man-child will fight right away and use the gun. OF COURSE Cinta will be at the right place and the right time to get fatally shot. One single shot, not even aiming at anyone, from more than 10 meters away? Is it that easy to kill someone - apparently so. Cassian can cross an entire battlefield of dozens of soldiers shooting each other (while being hunted by wild animals in the night) and don't get shot once.

But the entire "these are all very arbitrary circumstances pushed to make the death happens" is not even the most important part. The death itself is not the most important part.

No, the most important part is to whom and how and why it happens in the first place. Cinta is utterly disrespected as a character (or, since Andor is still really high-quality writing, let's say she's the less respected character in the entire cast):

1/ she's brought back for a real plot line (of ONE EPISODE) only to be killed - she's got, like 4 or 5 scenes top.

2/ she does NOT appear, except for the equivalent of a cameo at the end of episode 3, at ALL in the season.

3/ when she does appear, her entire character is focused on Vel (her lover) or secondary to Vel - and I bet her death will be used to further Vel's character development... which is... fishy when the poc character only exists as a prop for the white main character...

4/ she KISS the woman she loves (after an off-screen arc where she realises the importance of her loved ones, and not of only the mission), and she's KILLED in basically the next scene (I'm having PTSD about this, seriously, are we doing Clexa again???), which is very, very tone-deaf at best, insulting at worse for the queer audience.

5/ the only reason for both Cinta and Vel to come to Ghorman is EACH OTHER. They come here to see each other and reconnect, and this decision pushes them part - definitely. What's the message here? Love a woman and die, I guess? (OK, I know there's no really happy ending here, but seriously, Brasso got years with his lover before dying)

7/ again, can I stress the gravity of Cinta being written this way as a poc AND queer character? As the only queer poc character of the show? Yes, you should be more careful with this type of character. No, it's not the same killing Brasso with a stray bullet (it's not even a stray bullet, the stormtroopers are aiming at him) and Cinta with a stray bullet. Yes, it means something when the less well-written character of the cast is the queer woman of colour. It's disrespectful. And don't tell me Brasso's death and Cinta's death have the same weight, because Brasso has three episodes before dying - he has multiple scenes, new relationships, scenes with Bix and the boy and the robot. And he dies trying to save his family from deportation. It's not the same at all.

8/ btw, are we talking about Cinta being this ninja badass rebel who survives nuclear level shit (wasn't her entire people/family murdered? she was in the rebellion for years and did multiple high-risk missions), getting killed by a stray bullet? She's not even dying to protect Vel from the stray bullet or something (well, maybe that wouldn't work well either, I don't know).

But see, my main problem isn't that Cinta dies. It isn't really the message behind it (well, the "good" message: not respecting hierarchy and disorganisation will get innocents killed) either. No, it's the way it was done. How can you respect Cinta as a character, you might ask?

Well, you give her an actual arc for all of season 2. Without and with Vel as a partner. With her own character development onscreen. When she dies, it's at the end of the series, when she's had something to do for the rest of the season. Also, you don't kill her minutes after getting her and Vel together - that's just shitty and way too reminiscing of the way ALL OF THE LESBIAN CHARACTERS ARE KILLED EVERY FUCKING SINGLE TIME - "kiss your lover and die from a stray bullet that was 100% avoidable". We've got enough of this plot thank you, it's not even surprising anymore. My gosh, I'm not even asking for her to live happily ever after, I'm asking for a death that makes sense and is earned (story wise). I don't want just the chock-value, I want the meaning for the dead character (and not only for her girlfriend whom she has been back with for 2 sec after years of separation bc of an "unknown injury we don't want to waste time or energy developing" in the story).

Is that so hard??

Apparently, it is. I was so happy to watch the very first lesbian kiss (with named characters and good angle and everything) on a Disney show. Ofc they couldn't let that pass without killing the poc lesbian, too. Guess that's the curse huh? Bix and Cassian also get to kiss, yet the only result is them blowing up torture guy in a blaze of fire and coolness.

So yeah, I'm pissed off. I'm still into the show (I wasn't in it for the gay content), but that's a stain that will taint it forever, to me. It's not perfect anymore. I know it's only fiction, but fiction represents/influences the world as well. It's important too (especially regarding minority characters).

Anyway, hope Cinta's death will at least not be hidden under the rug and actually have a big impact on Vel in the future episodes.

Rest in Power, Cinta Kaz.

You deserved better.

[cranberrymoons]

I mean obviously Eddie eats cunt?!?! Like duh????? He likes sex! Hell, he loves sex! The fact people are actually voting no is just. fucking wild to me. (And part of me feels like if it Buck were in that poll, people would be voting yes he eats cunt even I feel like uh no, he doesn’t. I mean I’m sure he gives girls a good ride if they’re on his face, but he’s probably just holding his tongue really still and using his nose. 🪦🪦🪦)

for real!!!!!!! I demand an end to fanon that makes him a shy and inexperienced guy who has never had good sex 😭 like honestly even if you think he's gay rather than bi/queer/whatever, he was no doubt tongue deep in whoever he was dating at the time. like i'm sorry but he just was 😠 he likes sex and is good at it and this is canon!!! it's the only part of his marriage that actually worked!!! they HATED EACH OTHER by the end but were still fucking!!!! 😤

also 💀 justice for my man. I think buck does for sure eat pussy but in a very different way where yes like you say, he is less of an active participant and more of a person who gets bossed around and directed into it. like I think he does do a good job but she is yanking the fuck out of his hair to get him in position while he does it and/or sitting on his face in a way where he can only a little bit breathe but not really. and he cums really really embarrassingly fast as soon as she touches him (she being literally any woman but especially taylor kelly. obviously. and abby clark who in MY opinion used to make him get her off like 6 times in one night because his eagerness was a novelty for her and lord knows she had a well of pent up orgasms after the last guy she dated 🙄)

[pagannatural]

2.17 Heart

- this episode can’t really be called underrated but it makes me insane in a special and specific way that needs airing

-Dean is cleaning their guns and geeking out about how cool werewolves are, how they haven’t seen one since they were kids, and how good it is to know how to handle the situation, and Sam is teasing him. This callback to their shared childhood is important.

-Dean asks Sam their next step the way a teacher asks their student because Sam is still learning hunting from Dean. Sam answers correctly, looking like he’s trying not to smile and looks down and then up at Dean. He looks like he’s flirting. He loves seeing Dean happy.

- Madison tells the brothers that the victim was the kind of guy to hit on everyone in a five mile radius after a few scotches, you know the type, and Sam at first smiles knowingly. But then he looks over at Dean, who’s smiling his fuck-me smile at Madison, and his face falls. “Yeah, I do, actually,” he says.

Dean’s interest in Madison (and other women in general) really bothers him in this moment.

- Dean tells Madison someone needs to stay with her in case the werewolf shows up. The moment she leaves the room Sam tells Dean “you go, I’ll stay” with this expression that seems very serious, not like he’s just wanting to be the one who spends time with the pretty woman.

They decide to settle this the old fashioned way which is rock-paper-scissors (ro-sham-bo). Another callback to their childhood. Sam wins because Dean always chooses scissors which is honestly fascinating to me— I would have guessed Dean would pick rock because it’s the solid strong masculine option and because Sam would choose paper, but of course Dean chooses the tool, the blades. Sam grasps Dean’s arm after and his hand lingers. Again, he does not seem to have done this out of any interest in Madison, it seems like he just doesn’t want to witness Dean with her.

-This is not the face of a man who likes this woman

It reminds me of how he acted around Sarah In Provenance. He has to perform liking her for Dean, but he never shows any signs of genuine interest. Madison even dumps a basket of delicates onto the table in front of him to fold and he scrunches up his face and moves to the couch.

- Sam observes that Madison is smart and independent and asks her why she was with a stalker, and she answers that it’s not like he introduced himself like Hi I’m possessive and controlling and I like to punch people. She also says he’s wanted by the police, and that she was too insecure to leave until she realized she could take control of her life.

Madison and Sam are set up as direct parallels. She ends up being a monster without even knowing and without intending any harm, which is what Sam fears. Also, the way she’s describing her ex-boyfriend sounds a lot like Dean: possessive, controlling, likes punching people, wanted by the police. I think Dean has a lot of very redeemable qualities and for the most part he treats Sam very kindly, but he is all those things. It’s also how Sam would describe John, who he got away from by taking control of his life. The difference is that Sam actually wants to be with Dean.

- Dean kills the first werewolf in this episode. The werewolf is dying in the street and Dean stands over him and watches him turn back into a scared and confused man right before he dies. Dean obviously doesn’t enjoy seeing a man lose his life, and it complicates his earlier excitement over hunting a werewolf. The grown-up version of this hunt isn’t fun any more.

- Dean can see how Sam cares about Madison because he relates to her, and the way he watches Sam is so tender and protective. When Madison hugs Sam, Dean watches them with such bittersweet understanding

and then excuses himself very obviously so that Sam and Madison can fuck. Which they do. Which is just wild.

Because Sam decides to have sex with the first woman since Jessica because 1) Dean tells him to and 2) he sees this woman as the version of himself that gets to live without becoming a monster

- when Sam knocks frantically on his door, Dean opens up, knowing right away something is wrong and reassuring Sam that they’ll find her. The way that Sam runs straight to Dean’s door when he’s scared and needs help and Dean is right there without another thought is very romantic tropey.

-Sam yells at Dean because Dean’s willing to kill Madison without question but unwilling to kill Sam no matter what he does including murder. Dean looks a little jostled to be confronted by this, but I think to him it’s just so clear that Sam is a special and specific category from the rest of humanity and creation that he doesn’t see or doesn’t care about the hypocrisy. Sam is the center of his universe and his entire system of values. Everyone on earth or in hell is either Sam or Not Sam. It’s funny because Sam is like this about Dean too, but he just accepts it.

-Dean explains the situation to Madison calmly and honestly. It’s the decent thing to do, and also the difficult thing. He’s not cold or numb to the work, but he is able to handle it and keep his head as long as it’s not about Sam.

-Madison asks Sam to be the one to kill her and Dean watches Sam struggle. He’s been watching Sam carefully and protectively this entire episode.

-She uses language so similar to the language Sam uses to beg Dean to kill him—asking for help, saying she wants it to be him who does it, “I’m asking you to save me.” She tries to hand Sam the gun.

Dean gets up at this point and stands behind Madison, his eyes on Sam as he moves, and slowly takes the gun out of her hands. This shifts the focus off Madison and solely onto the brothers for the remainder of the episode.

His eyes stay on Sam’s as he does this, and Sam is somehow looking up at Dean pleadingly. His romantic interest is begging him for help with tears in her eyes in what will be the last moments of her life and Sam is staring at Dean behind her.

The sexual relationship between Sam and Madison is explicitly compared to Dean and Sam’s relationship. It wasn’t necessary for the werewolf character to be a woman who Sam sleeps with—the very first woman that he is with since Jessica. She’s the stand-in for Sam in this case, and Sam is put in Dean’s shoes.

The brothers go into the other room and Dean assures Sam he doesn’t have to do this, that he’ll handle it. He wants to take care of Sam and spare him this, just like he has since they were children, but he can’t this time. Sam feels he has to because she asked him, and asks Dean for the gun.

It’s a very intentional choice that Sam won’t do this for Madison until he has to ask Dean, and that in the end it’s a conversation between the brothers that forms the emotional tension and climax of the episode. Dean did what Sam needed him to do by being the one to give him the choice: let me protect you from this or do it yourself. Before, the choice was more about Madison. Now it’s about Sam and Dean’s relationship.

- Sam looks back at Dean before he walks away, like a frightened child who needs help because he really doesn’t want to do this, but he knows it’s the right thing to do as a hunter. In doing this, Sam has played out the two things from Madison that he wants from Dean, that Dean can never give him— Dean will never let their relationship become physical, and he will never kill Sam.

The camera stays on Dean’s face as the gun goes off and the episode ends. Dean can’t save Sam from this, he can’t protect him from one of the responsibilities that comes with their lives as hunters. He’s terrified that he won’t be able to save Sam at all. The days when he could take care of Sam and shield him are over, and they both have to leave that part of their childhood behind. It’s not that Dean can’t save Sam in the end, because at the end of all of this their love for each other is what saves the world. It’s that their innocence can’t survive what’s coming. They have to grow up and face the realities of their lives. Their incestuous love for each other is one of those realities, but they aren’t there yet.

[cadecastelis]

MHA epilogue spoilers 3 2 1

Mandatory internet Disclaimer I love most of the izuocha shippers and every ship has good and bad shippers etc

Second mandatory disclaimer I honestly believe the leaks could potentially be fake! but for the sake of assuming they’re not fake cause we don’t rly know…

I’ve already seen izuocha shippers claiming that the ending isn’t demeaning to any characters and doesn’t unravel their development at all and to this I say: I beg you to learn media literacy. You’re allowed to be happy your ship became canon! But to deny it became canon at the expense of all four of their characters is rich.

Reducing the main female character to just be the love interest in the very final moments of the series (when none of the rest of the series explicitly focused on much romantic love) can only take away from her character, not add to it. Whatever happened to her main arc? Learning to see the good in others and wanting to learn what makes himiko tick whilst letting go of the desires that were holding her back and confining her (aka her crush on deku), only to turn around in the last moments we see her to come crawling back to Deku with toga on the forefront of her mind.

Himiko dying for this woman, learning what it means to be understood and to be loved for who she truly is, only to be reduced to the motivating factor in Ochako’s relationship. Her memory is used to further Ochakos ambition to…go out with a man? We could have spent the final moments of the manga seeing how himiko inspired Ochako to help young kids be understood and gain control of their quirks!! Wasn’t that what she was doing in her honor and memory in the last chapter? Why not focus on that?

Once again, we see strong and competent women reduced to nothing but play pieces for the male characters in their final moments. You can say all you want how Ochako deserves to have a happy romantic relationship, regardless of gender, and she does, but no matter what this will take away from her character. This will be the first thing on peoples mind after finishing the series. The aftertaste left in their mouth. In their final moments, these women are used as romantic options for men. Himiko is not remembered as the martyr of a story about privilege and humanity, but instead as the mournful embodiment of the survivors guilt holding Ochako back.

As for the boys, this 100% reduced their characters as well. Izuku’s hero is Ochako? What did she do for him directly? Of course she’s heroic, but what did she do for him? Her most heroic moment was not when deku was even there to witness, it was a private moment between her and himiko so *why* is she his hero? What happened to all the reasons katsuki is his hero? Is he just chopped liver now? The beautiful parallels and hundreds of chapters set up to revolve around these two and instead in the end we focus on…something else? It’s kinda like how monoma is so prominent during the final battle as well as number ten on the rankings? He’s cool and all but why? Why him out of everyone? The focus is not where it should be.

And Katsuki’s whole motif with the hands and reaching out to Deku, finally being the one to reach out first in the final chapter, only for Deku to take someone else’s hand in the epilogue. Like. Come on. Now we don’t have the full epilogue yet, and rukasu & Ever (via twitter) said that there will be a scene where Baku and deku talk with each other, but going based on the full page leaks we have, is it not wild to u guys that the stories own deuteragonist gets less time in the epilogue than MULTIPLE side characters?? As much as I adore shoto, [he’s one of my top five mha characters (as is uraraka!)], Katsuki comes before both of them in terms of narrative importance. He is our deuteragonist, yet I see less of him in the leaks than monoma 😭

I could go on but like. I’m glad izuocha shippers can be happy, I truly am. But before any of you go around claiming it was a good way to make them canon, take some time to really understand the characters and what this kind of ending is saying about them.

Cause this isn’t the ending they deserve

[aggressive-positivity-network]

Okay, y’all NEED to hear the reason my class was cancelled today.

Okay, so my tech com professor is pretty strange. She once showed a picture of her ex-boyfriends leg that was flayed open after a hiking accident, then preceded to say that she was still friends with him after breaking up, despite her having a husband. When a few student balked, she CALLED HIM to prove her claim, not telling him he could be heard by her students until the end of the call. She also just shares a lot of weird information in class, such as (in detail) her abusive relationship with her ex-husband (not the same guy as before) and her father being murdered in his apartment.

She is also extremely forgetful, not remembering to put in grades or check her email. Her classes are mostly TedTalks and just talking about stuff until the class ends (it’s her last semester, but whatever). She’s just an odd bird. Extremely nice, but just strange.

Anyway, she walked into class today, and like any college class in April, we asked if we could have class outside. She responded, “I have a better idea - why don’t we just not have class today?” We sort of looked at each other, and she proceeded to explain that she was gardening this morning before class, and she saw a plant that she wasn’t familiar with.

To identify it - instead of using Google like a normal person - she proceeded to PUT THE PLANT IN HER MOUTH AND SWALLOW IT. She, of course, immediately started to feel sick, her (current) husband helped her throw up, and she came to class, still nauseated.

The kicker? Apparently, she has done this TWICE BEFORE, once with a wild onion. AND SHE STILL PUT THE PLANT IN HER MOUTH AND ATE IT.

It’s honestly a wonder this woman has not died yet.

[blazinghotfoggynights]

Fandom is wild! I love it.

Also, I'm just thinking and those thoughts are wandering out of my fingertips. This is just me wondering "aloud".

Tommy Kinard shows up for 30 seconds, after comments about Buck going on a self-discovery journey, and BOOM we have a new relationship and portmanteau in less then 60 seconds.

After last season, I have zero expectations for this season. I can honestly say last season was the most disappointing of the show for me. That ending was awful.

But back to the speculation and messiness. Okay, let's assume for a minute that Buck and Tommy start messing around. I hate to break it to the general public but it isn't as uncommon as you may think for people in their 30s, 40s, and even older to realize they may not be the sexuality they thought they were or to say, "I don't give a damn", and start exploring different avenues.

Personally, I think Buck has been bi-coded all along. But, that's just my opinion. I think he just hasn't dated any man since he began working at the 118.

As for Eddie, I think when they were on Fox, that character was written to appeal to the...ahem...Fox demographic. He's a macho, muscular, handsome alpha male type: good old southern boy, religious, war hero, badass, survivor who loves his family and country. No way was that character EVER going to be anything remotely other than completely heterosexual.

I also believe that as long as the show was on Fox, no white male lead would be anything other than straight. (Look at the history of the major or recurring gay characters on the show. Hen, Karen, Michael, David, the first guy Michael was dating, Eva, and Josh. Note the ratios and how almost stereotypical Eva and Josh are written.)

With a move to ABC, I think there is a chance for a more...diverse spectrum within the LGBTQ characters; however, I am not sure ABC is willing to write both the male leads, I know Bobby and Chim are strongly written characters, but let's be real, Buck and Eddie are arguably the most popular characters, as possibly bi or gay and put them together. Why are they, and not Bobby or Chim, the most popular, especially with that coveted demographic of women 18-49? When you answer that you have the reason both networks might be hesitant to put two men who live in each other's pockets and co-parent a child together.

In business and marketing, how race and sexuality are approached is still quite influenced by the vocal majority and how they think it works. It isn't right. It silences the voices of those who aren't TPTB. The people who are members of those groups aren't listened to, but that is how it is.

My heart will always beat for Buddie endgame. (And write Buddie fanfic when I have time.) But I have seen how media, marketing, and corporations operate and they will always feed the people holding the wallets keeping them afloat. That is why there is a part of me that believes Buddie is probably only going to exist in fanfic.

Buck, and Buck alone, may be given a bi arc while Eddie is written as 100% heterosexual and permanently paired with a woman, while being supportive of Buck and his partner.

By keeping one canonically straight and making the other canonically bi they can straddle the fence. They can play up the chemistry between Buck and Eddie, teasing a what might or could be situation, while keeping them apart.

I could also be totally wrong. Maybe when Eddie realizes Buck likes men, he decides to add more rainbow to his preferences, give in to the very dirty, and locked down like a bank vault, fleeting thoughts he's had about his best friend over the years, corner Buck alone, tell him drop Tommy or whatever man is d-ing him down, and do the d-ing down himself.

Hey, ABC! You are welcome to use the last paragraph for inspiration!

[thegeminisage]

STAR TREK UPDATE TIME. the update is, we have finally started enterprise. here are things i knew about enterprise before starting:

set 100 years before tos (i was close, it's more like slightly under 100 years after first contact and a hundred and change before tos)

hoshi sato apparently dies on tarsus iv

INSANELY sexy chemistry between t'pol and trip tucker every gifset i have ever seen is bananas but they have a love triangle with archer, who is a bitch

they have some kind of baby in an au or something

MIRRORVERSE

vt'pol pon farr episode

lots of sexism everybody is mean to t'pol bc nobody likes vulcans

riker cameo at the end and everybody hated that and also a bunch of people die in badly written ways in the finale

theme song controversial.

prior to starting this i was like this is sttill technically kinda 90s trek it's got the riker cameo like 2001 isn't so far from the 90s and immediately we got hit with the theme song and the weird sexism and MAN what a downgrade from voyager. this is post 9/11 trek baby. we are in a different world now. i will miss ds9 and voyager so much

i was...honestly kind of bored by this. it wasn't as bad as the tng pilot but nowhere near as good as the voyager or ds9 pilots, the latter of which is high art. i did not find myself especially endeared to anyone except poor hoshi sato, who did not ask for this and reltably jumps at her shadow at every opportunity. i know it isn't t'pol's fault she's writen that way, and i feel certain i will be very endeared to her by the end, but in this episode she just kind of annoyed me.

as for the men, no one really stood out to be except trip and archer (i'm not even sure of everybody else's name yet, except dr phlox, whose freaky smile did make me scream aloud). as stated, archer is a bitch. he is mean and yells for no reason because of like...daddy issues that don't feel like they have any real weight. i don't like his acting and he has evoked no emotional response from me except annoyance. i like trip a little better! while i'm not losing my mind over him or anything he is fun, and i do like that even though his accent is fake (said "can't" instead of "cain't"), he did remember to change the end of "thursday" to "thursdee." that is how we say it yeah

the time period we're in did seem neat to me at first (you have to appreciate them not having gotten the transporter working on people yet and warp 4 still being fancy to them lol), but i don't really understand why the vulcans have been the boss of these guys for 90 years or whatever, have they just been saying "space is dangerous don't go" for that long and all of humanity listened? i think narratively they exist to be rules, and the rules exist to be bucked by captain archer, because he's an AMERICAN, DAMMIT. post 9/11. i get there's no federation or whatever yet, this is the wild west, but jesus fucking christ. also i hate that cochrane came up with the fucking speech. fuck that guy! rapey ass tos episode. anyway speaking on the time period i also liked the gravity thing. very fun

but like...the dinner where she was cutting her breadstick and talking about human barbarism for eating animals?? what even was that. we've had this philosophical discussion in trek a thousand times already. we KNOW humans aren't going to become brutes because this is a prequel. nothing in here was meaty enough (sorry) to justify retreading those points.

i did like this new race of bend shapeshifting guys. like, i miss odo, but also, whatever they've got going on was really fun. and the language barrier with the klingon at the end DURING the fight was also entertaining. i did also wind up liking the extremely gregarious scene with the decontaminating gel or whatever...at first i was very annoyed (you can see her nipples! give this woman some dignity! they could have done this separately!) but 1. trip was a perfect gentleman and 2. when she was like "turn around" i knew in my heart she could give him the strap.

other than that, very little to be compelled by, but at least i don't hate anybody except archer and the fucking subtitles. the subtitles on this were so so so so so SO bad. straight up disappeared at one point. i hate paramount plus so much <3

TONIGHT: ent's "fight or flight" and "strange new world."

[andbrokenmemories]

So it's weird how like. The Kennet girls are good at everything, aren't they? [pale spoilers ahead]

Like that's obvious, it's textual -- it's very textual, other characters being in something like awe over it over and over and over across the story. The girls are very good at this, and they have a deep well of power. This comes up continuously.

what's weird is thaaat a lot of the fanbase seem to like, enjoy that. Enjoy having protagonists who can play around with magic in a way Blake never ever could have. I kind of get that, I won't like shit-talk it too hard. (I do like Verona, y'know?)

But it's an interesting fact. Because Wildbow's the underdog protagonist guy! At least in action scenes, that's his whole thing! Taylor and Blake have to eat shit and die to claw their way to victory, and often those scenes work for me. And it's one of the things I think WB gets the most praise for? Like, from his established base. It's a conscious choice to not do that for Pale. He like, introduced the idea that this kind of wild practitioner would be especially powerful. He made that up for this book.

I wonder what that decision looks like -- after Ward, and Ward's issues, especially, since that seemed to be the first break from this. Underdog protagonists seem to be the default, for him; the thing he has most experience with. I've seen posts from him describing his process -- put characters against the wall without having a pre-planned out for them, so WB himself has to puzzle out exactly what they can use to make it out alive -- and he seemed to derive like... An actual enjoyment, out of it?

Yeah, there are fights in Pale where they're up against the wall... even one where, with Dire Consequences for us all, Wildbow had them lose because he couldn't see a way for them to win!

But it's not the same. I'd honestly say they usually lose because of their like, lack of full maturity -- their child soldier-y emotional rawness and uncertainty -- their lack of cohesion, as the book usually plays it. Lucy cannot stop John from joining the Contest because she can't hold her nerve against him. The girls cannot stop the murder plot from coming to fruition because they lack unity, aren't working together as a team. Emotional stuff. The girls have more tools in their box than any Wildbow protagonist before them, by far, but they can't always use them properly to get the W, for emotional reasons, for character reasons.

In theory, that's an interesting direction (maybe, possibly), and I should be relieved that Wildbow is trying something fresh. In practice... I've said I don't like Pale's fight scenes. I think Wildbow is plainly worse at this than the content of his previous works.

Part of this is seen in the Contest. Or, at least, how Wildbow Posts about it. If you can't tell, a specific WoG lives in my brain: Wildbow said once that he kept the story going past Break because he genuinely did not believe the trio could beat Maricica. I can imagine him doing his typical calculus for this, and what led him to that conclusion, maybe. For example, we've heard a lot about the ability of the Fae to manipulate stuff, aaaand to have the girls come along and undo all of that with minimal information to begin with wouuld sort of. Damage our belief in Faerie significance. Still, though -- cards on the table, here -- I think this was a Dumb and Bad choice. (It's a sidenote to this post, but I think it's very strange that, in-story the straw that breaks the camel's back is shown to be the Alabaster allowing shit to go on rather than throwing in with John, effectively a betrayer revealed moment -- a thing that, even if sorta his intention from the start, he could simply say 'aw beans i never really planned this out far enough' and just drop. for the sake of wrapping up a better story. and naturally i believe this would have been better also because it means we never would have fucking gotten White Woman Animus!! i digress. i digress.)

Maricica had weaknesses the story gave us to nibble on, and those weaknesses... are just kind of dangling threads, now? As of where I hopped off? like, guess she can't be that inexperienced with people if she became a goddess and started a cult and helped with all that red heron shit lol

So it's that thing I said, about fight scenes being more character driven. But then also, he's clearly thinking about this the same way as ever! As shown by his weird logic with framing the story going past Break as a thing he Had To Do, for Logical Reasons, or at least that weighing on the decision. a thing that is silly and i disagree with on it's face. right?

And then this shows in the sheer quantity of fight scenes -- if the girl's main limiter is internal emotional context and stuff........... uh... why are there so many fights? Why wouldnt the story naturally curve towards. having fewer fight scenes when theres no other way to square things away. that progress character arcs. whyyy do i care about fight scene 129 when i know how strong these girls are. whyyy are we fighting so many random others, and dedicating genuinely long segments of story to them, rather than montaging that shit? Getting it over with? If it has to be there at all? (for reference -- I just tried to think of a Random Pale Fight i fully don't think mattered. i selected the random like. angel summoner guy? with the fortnite constructor angel. that's a part of the musser invasion or whatever. this is a character with literally no substance, just a musser-side goon. From him entering the ongoing! fight to Lucy getting out of dodge is 4.6k words. Plague 12.7, the Mannequin fight, up to Mannequin leaving -- that's almost the entire chapter -- is 6.9k words. on the worm wiki, i saw there's a brief 'major events' summary of that chapter. i couldnt tell you the major events of the Pale chapter, of which that section of fight is like a third, maybe. lucy gets a bit more upset. lucy gets in a few quips against musser-side characters that actually matter but actually dont matter much to how that broader conflict is resolved. i guess.)

Wildbow writes any random fight the girls get into as being worth as many words as his fights in the past! the scrappy, pay-offy ones. bleh. My point in all this: you cannot simply set your protags up in the way I'm positing, here, and then continue to use the same vocabulary of every other serial anyway. it straight up doesn't work. it's exhausting. The Future is An Eternal Slaughterhouse 9000 Arc. Look, thats a criticism that boils down to 'web serials are too long'. And I'm not sure I care too much about web serials being too long! I have read longer web serials with longer fight scenes! I have written fiction with a longer average word count per chapter than Wildbow, at least during Worm! its a real criticism, but its not one im amazingly interested in personally. But the Kennet three could've had weaknesses to play around -- or at least, more weaknesses. We are in a Post-Pact world, and in this Post-Pact world, the magic in Pale really barely feels like it, uh, relies on discourse and presentation. like at all. And that seems like an option to give these characters obstacles! An option Wildbow gestures at during the Musser meta-arc!

but what struck me getting that word count comparison earlier, skimming that fight? The girls just aren't operating in that world. There's never a thought for presentation -- maybe sometimes, for a slight edge. But it never really matters, certainly not after the blue heron. They're using glamour as a workhorse tool, covering goblins in it for brief misdirects to get an edge in a fight; they're calling on the same shrine spirits over and over. They don't build up tools over a portion of story then cash them out for a satisfying win, they're just... strong. They have more items in their bags than Wildbow probably knows what to do with. Strong enough for just Lucy to dunk on any random set of practitioners, but not strong enough for the story to just skip that part, and not strong enough to just solve the plot until it's time to go fuck up Charles and end the story.

I know you could argue that I'm making this up, or that it's what some people prefer to what Pact was doing. But I just think it's not even what wildbow is good at! (and i always theorize that when wildbow is writing kind of bad, it's probably because he's not actually engaged or happy with what he's putting himself through. did he read a specific thing that made him personally excited to make the girls so versatile? I don't really know, but I don't get that vibe.)

And I have a couple of specific things I want to point out to try and prove this is like. a thing at all, to wrap up on: First, Glamour is used as this very, uh, soft magic thing, this very basic narrative tool. A pure mechanic of, like, mental states. If you're shaken, if you're uncertain, your glamour gives out on you -- if you shake your opponents, make them skittish, your glamour is better at misdirecting them. This is fiiine? But too vague for what Glamour is. Wildbow simply failed to properly present tradeoffs to one of his character's main action verbs, one that literally had those tradeoffs in Pact. And one last example to try and prove this: they dont even wear the hats and cloaks anymore duuude. Like, in my eyes: there was a very simple to read gambit being made, with the hats and masks and cloaks? You are awakening early, you will always have awoken early: You accepted an early shield against what that meant. A constructed image in place of the image of a fully-fledged adult, masking that youth; Whimsical and inherently magical, inherently wild. It's a very basic tradeoff, and one the story promises you it knows: even if they really would rather not have to go through the whole song and dance of suiting up, if it's tactically suboptimal or else they mature out of it and realise it's not for them, they will never be able to escape it -- not without giving up power. A mark accepted that cannot be given up. A mechanical restriction on their powersets to make up for some of their advantages, that also has some character relevancy. The Good Stuff.

except yeah it can. be taken off. it doesn't super matter. not really. they do plenty of magic without all the stuff on or even any of the stuff on -- it's rarely presented as an obstacle. it doesnt really matter. Because then, you see, they couldnt mature out of it and do cool stuff! it'd be. annoying. frustrating. they'd have to like. deal with changing past the natures they made for themselves. they'd have to. be characters. with character issues. that present themselves in fight scenes. you know?? what are we doing.

[rjthirsty]

Rhodolite, Monogamy, & Polyamory

If you've played Ikemen Prince, you're aware that there are 8 half-brothers under one former king, all born within a 12-ish year timespan. That's a lot of women to be boinking and impregnating. And while it's totally feasible (cue the guy that had 36 kids from multiple women within 20 years or some wild shit), it brought into question what Rhodolite's marriage and relationship status quo was.

The former king only had one queen, Chevalier's mother. But judging from the estimated ages of all the guys, she was still alive when Leon was born, and his mother was also a noble woman. And considering the time that Leon's mother was still around when Yves was born, that would leave two sets of two noble women both married to the king, with children, at the same time period. Leon states in his route that the king had "other wives and other children" which meant that while not formally accepted or ascended to the throne, they were still his "wife" and not mistress. Meaning we can conclude that the king had multiple marriages whether for political reasons or personal, not all the mothers were mistresses. This really only applies to the mothers that were noble in some way, because Clavis' and Luke's mothers were not involved with the king except for conception, and we know Jin's mother was married to the king. Licht and Nokto's mother is a little bit of a mystery, and while I have guesses, I'm not going to make a call on that at the moment.

Now, this could be summed up as a translation issue since English and Japanese have different ideas for words that mean similar things. Maybe the women were "lovers" or concubines of some sort; the king would have a harem of women to produce sons, and all would be elevated to the royal court in some fashion, but only one was crowned queen. This is entirely possible. The problem is that in English when we try to label what sort of position this is, it comes with many negative connotations such as "mistresses" being secret lovers with no status, or concubines being considered sex and pleasure objects with no regard to the person, just the symbol. So we don't have an easy, equal alternative to label a woman that sits in a position of authority but is not a "wife". This is honestly a failing on English more than anything, imo. The way women were considered property for so long is seen in the terms we have for them.

But enough with all that depressing talk, let's get on to the REALLY interesting thing. Monogamy NOT being the norm.

It is never explicitly stated that monogamy is expected or even normal in Rhodolite. I admit, when I was reading the story for the first time, and even nearly two years into the game, I had been coming at it with the perspective that monogamy was normal and expected, because just like heteronormativity, monogamy is considered the "normal" thing and thus never questioned. But this is literally never brought up in the game.

I thought the game was just very sex positive in the way everyone's sleeping with everyone else. I thought they were depicting nobility as having sex parties because that's just what they did. (I don't know, I hated history and don't look into it. Tell me that drunken orgies were the norm and I'd say okay!) The way that Belle and one of the dudes would end up in sexy times sometimes outside of an actual relationship was refreshing and while it still came with the "I can only fuck people I love" from Belle's perspective, I thought it was still nice for it to not be a wait until marriage or forever after.

But what if it wasn't sex positivity? What if it's just not a big fucking deal to sleep with people because monogamy isn't the status quo? The only time monogamy comes up is treated more like exclusivity. It's hot because it's possessive-lite, but it isn't "we're a couple, you can't sleep with others", it's "I'm the only one that gets to see this" which means that it isn't a rule so much as a desire and possessiveness that needs to be stated. And that's kinda cool, when you think about it. In the way it is being presented, there doesn't seem to be a negative relationship with sex outside of a committed relationship. I'm all for that.

Monogamy is cool for those it works for. But open relationships, poly relationships, and anything else out there is also cool for those it works for. And it's just nice to see that being (silently) established as normal without having to make reasons or excuses for it. Even combing through all the event stories I can recall, I don't think there's one time that someone said, "I'm married, so I'm not interested in sex." And while that is easy to overlook because monogamy is expected in our (US) society, the absence of it is something to note, and could lead to monogamy not being expected.

In conclusion, I've decided that all relationships are valid in Rhodolite, and while other countries might not have the same freedom, I'm going to put it into my fanfics and headcanon for my country of many princes.

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

Honestly, I think I’ve discovered the actual reason Amber and Alfie don’t work in HOA like they work in the original HHA or DHA. And it’s not entirely due to the actual canon events that are written for this version of the pairing (the dating handbook, Amber’s “no” to Alfie’s attempt at breaking up, forcing Amber into the trial relationship in the first place, etc., etc.), though it certainly doesn’t help. It actually comes down to how their characters were adapted for the English version of the show, and how they are fundamentally different than the OGs.

I’ll start with Alfie first. Alfie in HOA is a goober. He’s doofy, well-meaning, and most importantly childlike. Not even just childish, but childlike. He’s boyish and bubbly, and he certainly makes some weird, sorta sexual comments (especially in S1), but on the whole he’s quite an innocent character. Essentially, he reads as very young. Which he is, especially at the start of the show where he’s probably supposed to be about 15/16, but could even be as young as 14.

Appie, on the other hand, is also a goober. But a different type. He’s honestly way more like Jeroen than Alfie is like Jerome, meaning he’s a something of a womanizer, a bit douchier, and on the whole reads a lot older than Alfie, which I’m almost certain is canonical across all characters (with HHA characters supposedly ending the show at the age of 19, with the timeline across the 4 seasons being only two years— three at most).

The few things character-wise both Appie and Alfie share intrinsically are that they’re besties with Jeroen/Jerome who doesn’t always treat him well, his love for a good practical joke, and (in earlier seasons) his pining for Amber. Of course, Appie also goes through phases of being a bit of a ladies man (see his random interest in Mara), but on the whole these things are constant. But already, the English version of the character is a lot more twinkly eyed and is like “Amber’s really pretty, I hope she notices me” as opposed to the Dutch “Damn she’s hot, lemme tap that”. It’s very subtle, because he’s obviously not a sleazy, bad guy, but it’s though being friend zoned by Amber (for the whole series) that Appie begins to loosen up and be less of a sleaze and more of the silly and whimsical guy we know him as; that’s because of Dutch Amber’s characterization.

I’ll come back to why all that matters, after I discuss the Ambers. (For the sake of keeping track, I’ll refer to them by their last names). Rosenbergh is a rich, pretty, ditzy party girl, but she’s incredibly perceptive. She sniffs out bullshit in an instant, especially with the Mick and Mara situation, but overall she has wicked foot-in-mouth syndrome and just sorta blurts out the first thing that pops into her head even if it’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heart in your life. She’s extravagant, over-the-top, full of whimsy, and is downright silly. Rosenbergh is simultaneously a ditz and very smart. Simultaneously is the key word here.

Millington is not. She is a much more toned down version of her OG counterpart, and I think that is mostly due to the different actresses takes on the character. This isn’t to say, Millington isn’t any of the those of adjectives I used earlier, but the difference between the English and the Dutch versions of the character is that while Rosenbergh is both smart and ditzy, Millington is simply smart and plays at being ditzy. At least that’s how it reads, and how it reads is incredibly important in this case. Millington would never be caught dead in some of the situations Rosenbergh found herself in, because she’s a fundamentally more uptight version of the character.

So why does all this matter? Because the version of Alfie that we get from the very start is far more like Appie after a good hunk of his subtle character development— far more like Amber Rosenbergh. Amber Millington, on the other hand, is not the type of girl to ever mesh that well with a wild, goofy personality like Alfie’s. She’s just not. Alfie would work super well with Rosenbergh, however, because she’s this whimsical girl with a lot of heart. It’s why Appie works so well with her, too.

This isn’t a diss of HOA!Amber, by the way, because her English characterization is a masterful adaptation of the OG, but there’s a reason why even in S3 of HOA, at the supposed established point of Amfie’s relationship, they still feel so estranged from each other. At the end of the day, Millington has a different outlook on life and an entirely different mindset than Alfie. This isn’t to say they couldn’t work ever, but they’re just not the same pairing that Amber/Appie are.

It also didn’t help that Amfie had no best friends era. Like, sometimes I think we forget that Amber and Appie didn’t get together until the reunion movie. Like they weren’t a canon couple in the series. He liked her, but she didn’t like him back and they were besties. Their chemistry was chaotic and silly, and they had to grow into each other for them to work. Which is why they work. Amber and Alfie never did that, and part of me wonders if that wasn’t entirely because of the plot the English writers put down for them, but rather because the ways Ana and Alex played the characters off each other just didn’t allow for it.

Which brings me to my last point: Willow. Arguably, Willow is more like HHA!Amber than HOA!Amber is, and that’s all because of the magic word I’ve been using this whole, poorly-written essay: whimsy. Willow is the glitterbomb to Alfie’s fuse. Their dynamic feels exactly the same as Appie and Amber because Willow is the writers’ second attempt at having Amber Rosenbergh in the picture, and that’s why Walfie works so much more naturally.

Anyway, this got long and I’m sure I missed stuff but yeah. TL;DR: Amfie was unable to replicate Ampie bc they’re just different