#honestly surprised how wrong my estimation was lol

[trash-iest]

1,4,12,15,23,35,38,40,4650,55,60,75,78,83,86. You don't have to answer these. It's alot I know and I'm sorry. Just.. curious 😅

1. What do you crave in a psychological sense? Intimacy, passion, purpose, belonging, social interaction, etc.?

Passion & purpose (im sorry it's impossible to choose one)

4. Who's the most important person in your life right now? Why?

Myself because i need to consistently work towards my 5 year goal. Its the bare minimum but feels a lot so im hoping ill adjust and become a better version of myself if not the best.

12. What's your most controversial opinion? Would you state it publicly? What's the most controversial opinion that you would publicly support, if it's different?

The moon is made of cheese and pluto is a planet. Oh i would shamelessly state that publicly and stick out my tongue if the other person tries to educate me on the matter (im sorry if you were looking for serious answers, we dont do that over texting)

15. Is there a song, book, movie, or other piece of media that has drastically altered your life? What was it, are there multiple?

This is stupid (but youre allowed to laugh at how basic i am) Book: 13 reasons why. So just a bit of context: Up until grade 7 i was an extremely insensitive kid like id mindlessly laugh at people in school, made fun of their insecurities and was completely clueless about feelings/emotions. It was just considered banter since i was the class clown but the way id gang up with my group and tease other kids was wrong, yet no one corrected this behaviour (tbf i didnt grow up with cousins and they rarely ever visited so there was no sense of realisation) Now end of grade 7 i came across this book and I casually started reading it like any other book and lets just say i didnt expect the traumatising details. It was nothing like the stuff i used to read and it ended up giving me the biggest reality check. I started analysing my behaviour and realised how i might be an actual bully and i couldnt fathom the thought of someone resorting to self harm or suicide because of my silly jokes so i stopped and apologised to those few people. Lets just say this book was the first step towards developing eq and becoming a better person.

23. What would you never admit to in real life?

A LOT of things. I cant really think of anything atm but i mostly just stay quiet when people say questionable shit because i dont have the energy to explain my pov and idc about their opinion lol.

35. What's wrong with you? Physically, mentally, whatever comes to mind. What's right about you? What are your best and worst traits?

Physically— i have a HUGE nose, kinda short, dont have grey/hazel eyes, i wear specs (doesnt look cute), my nails chip every time i grow them out and theyre not a natural pretty shape. Also, i dont feel pretty like an actual girl; im not elegant or any of that and neither am i a hot tomboy. Im just eh. (Edit: i just remembered the dark circles and i look dead without lipstick/lip taint lol)

Mentally— anxious sometimes but thankfully no more anxiety attacks. I feel like my major trust and commitment issues come under personality disorders but ill just list them here. My therapist said im stubborn and very rigid (and I believe him over anyone else) and quite frankly i feel incapable of forming a real human connection. To sum up my worst traits: Im mostly horrible at reciprocation, im always emotionally unavailable, im selfish, hella lazy, careless, stupid. Im definitely forgetting something so whenever I remember it ill add it here lol. My best traits: im very understanding when it comes to the other person needing their space. Im a good listener because i rarely have good advice or solutions lol. Im calm and rarely ever lose my temper which doesnt really last long. I believe in communication instead of letting misunderstandings grow until they explode (im guessing thats good because it has strengthened my friendships)

38. Who do you miss, if anyone?

My 15 year old self. She was so happy, loved the way she looked and was so mentally stable (i might be considered a narcissist at this point)

40. Would you sacrifice your life for a stranger? An acquaintance? A loved one?

I WILL SACRIFICE MY OWN LIFE FOR PAKISTAN (its hard for me to be consistently serious, bear with it pls)

46. Do you have a "right person, wrong time"?

Yeah feels like it

50. What qualities do you find charming?

Whatever prince charming brings to the table (its so hard to be serious about this im sorry it reminds me of middle school)

55. What reminds you of your childhood?

Certain songs, snacks and a few places.

60. What are you afraid of? What are your worst fears? Are you afraid of any of the following - the dark, fire, heights, being alone, people, spiders, snakes, blood, drowning, or death?

Betrayal/abandonment from someone i truly love, getting attached to the wrong person, staying unemployed after graduation, childbirth and raising my own kids, emotionally depending on someone and lizards 💀 Of the following: people, only the big spiders like tarantulas etc, snakes, drowning only because i dont know how to swim and its a very painful death from what ive heard so no thank you.

75. What is your favourite fairytale?

Definitely hansel and gretel because of that edible cottage (still such a dream) but I recently read the story of the youth who went forth to learn what fear was (grimm's fairytales) and its my favourite one as an adult now.

78. Have you ever written a poem or song about someone? Or had someone write one about you? Do you hope to have either of those experiences in the future?

Nope i havent. My best friend has written poetry for me, about 3 times. It was super cute but it constantly made me feel indebted because ive never made a grand gesture like that and what she wrote was proper poetry and she appreciates me so much. Ive only ever written her letters with my ugly handwriting yet she treasures them. Hypothetically if i do find someone in the future like that idk how id react but ill definitely be thinking about ways to reciprocate.

83. What's your type? Otherwise, do you think you attract a certain sort of person?

An aromantic asexual or at least someone whose love language isnt physical touch and theyre naturally not a cheezy person but i feel like im asking for a lot here since most people associate romance with their partners and what i say is considered abnormal or bs so lets not go there. Ill need to be attractive to attract a certain type of people or anyone for that matter lol.

86. What could you talk about for hours?

Honestly my chattiness depends on my mood or the type of day im having instead of a particular topic.

[tomiyeee]

how long does it take you to draw and colour? since you post everyday which is great for me :D any tips for colouring cause Im still tryna figure all that out

hmm welllll, i don't exactly time how long it takes to draw but my partner said that sometimes i'll be working on a piece when they go to sleep and i'll still be working on it when they wake up 7 hours later so...my guess is anywhere from 3-8 hours each depending on complexity? at least for the art that i normally post, most of which is relatively simple.

not entirely sure what kind of tips you were looking for, but i'll just throw out some of my thought processes and stuff i try to keep in mind whenever i color. i'm gonna try and keep these relatively to the point so i won't go into much detail on art terms n whatnot, BUT i am also pretty terrible at explaining things so if you need clarification on anything, feel free to ask!

(sorry it's so longggg, i got carried away. i am...very wordy when it comes to art lol)

i like to block in the colors during the sketching stage before i do the lineart, especially for pieces where i know i want to do something funky with the color palette. you can see this in a lot of my process shots. doing colors in the planning stage just gives me a lot more freedom to focus purely on the colors and shading and how they work with the composition, without having to worry about the minute details like making sure the colors are inside the lines.

in order to save time while coloring, i'll usually just select the negative space (after making sure all the lineart is closed) > expand selection by 1 pixel (to make sure the edges are hidden within the liineart) > invert selection > fill bucket, then use clipping layers above that to color individual areas.

layer modes are your friend! i use multiply, overlay, and glow dodge (this one may be specific to mangastudio?) in almost every one of my drawings, but it's definitely worth playing around with all of the modes just to familiarize yourself with them if you haven't already.

color is honestly SO subjective. i'm never a fan of color picking (from source material or my own refs or whatever) bc while it may have its uses when it comes to consistency, imo it's much more fun to make them up as i go. you get a lot more variety from piece to piece while also familiarizing yourself with the character's palette that way. usually i'll start by deciding on the overall mood/palette (cool/warm, de-saturated, neon, pastel, etc), filling in the background color, then picking the characters' colors based on that. like with this venti pic, i started with a purple background and based my colors around that purple so they all fit the specific look i was going for. i could maybe get a similar effect by starting with the normal colors and using filters, shading, layer modes, etc to get the funky colors, but it will be much harder/more work and doesn't get as drastic of an effect imo.

on that note, don't be afraid to use shades/colors that may seem odd! you'd be surprised how many times i've used gray in place of blue, orange, purple..basically any color. in the above example, you can see just how different the colors ended up being from the original. after i decide on my palette + bg color, i'll just throw down the color i think will work and then (bc that first guess is usually wrong and meant only as a ballpark estimate) see if it needs to be warmer or cooler/darker or lighter/more or less saturated/etc and adjust accordingly. it's like mixing paint or tuning an instrument! it takes a little bit of practice, but after a while you start to get the hang of what colors will look like in which color palettes. white is usually the easiest to start with bc it will always just be tinted whatever color your palette is (like how the "white" in the above example is just a light purple).

this and the next point are more about shading but i include it as part of the coloring process: the easiest way i've learned to do shading is to darken the entire image/character/part you want to shade (usually with a solid color multiply layer) then add in the lighting either by erasing parts of the multiply layer or by using a separate layer set to overlay or glow dodge (or a similar lightening layer mode). it works a lot better than drawing the shadows imo because it kind of mimics how light works in real life; things are dark by default until you let light in and it hits what it can while leaving the rest still dark.

if you want to blend shadows, i usually still use the above method, but just blur certain areas of it and when i'm deciding which parts to blur (bc i don't just do so indiscriminately) i'll mentally sort all of the shadows into 2 categories:

shadows created by light being blocked by an object: like putting your hand in front of a flashlight. these shadows will retain their sharp edge, but can transition into the 2nd category if they are far enough from the obstruction, like how your hand's shadow will become blurrier the further you move it from the flashlight. the more distance between a light source and the surface it's projecting onto, the more chances for the light to scatter = softer edges

shadows created by light "rolling" off the surface: like the shadows on a ball or rounded surface. these will get blurred and i usually like to put a little bit of color along the blurred edge (a different and usually brighter/more saturated color than the rest of the shadows) just to add some life to the shadows.

here's an annotated version of this mikey pic with just the shadows so it's a lot easier to see :) sorry im bad at annotating..

aaaand this post has probably gotten way longer than you were hoping for so i'll cut it off here 😭 hope this has been at least somewhat useful, and good luck with your art!

[rimouskis]

Genuinely in shock that somehow we kept Rusty Tanger and Geno. Like before the off-season I was already accepting the fact that we’d lose one of them (at least).

Also somehow Raks too????

I feel like if this experience taught me anything, it's that I don't trust the media worth a damn. I am so frustrated with how this went down from every single angle, and (not to sound like a right wing nut) the media made it ten thousand times worse.

I was genuinely and seriously in "of course geno will come back :)" land when left to my own devices. it was only when I started reading the Panic Pieces from our Dear Favorite Writers that I actually got nervous. then they started publishing, like, multiple articles within 48 hours of each other, escalating in severity and fear. it was ridiculous, and so much of it was.... bunk? absolutely bungled? ill-sourced?

to me it seemed evident that some writers had lost most, if not all, inside connections that they previously had, and that tanked their "inside knowledge" considerably. now: that's not the writers' fault, but that doesn't obligate them to publish rumors, spit on 'em to shine 'em up, and call 'em likely, you know?

like, no one fucking knew about the rusty deal. which: fine, GMRH is quiet, alright, but that it took EVERYONE by surprise isn't how we're used to things going around here, and it threw off basically every reporter's estimation of how this summer would go. and THEN the tanger deal, which was like... basically unbelievable if your impression was garnered from the media (who all agreed that the pens would lose tanger this summer barring a miracle and personality replacement for kris). I was shocked, and that's when I knew something was seriously up, because I had taken some reporters' opinions earnestly and they were being proven wrong on multiple points in VERY short order, and it made their articles look kinda goofy in hindsight.

that's not to say I'm unsympathetic; I know people who have worked in News for years, some who have recently lost their jobs and livelihoods and crafts-of-30-years because of the shuttering of newspapers and traditional reporting. I know that, unfortunately, news is a business and these people need clicks. I don't doubt for a SECOND that this entire ordeal was a fantastic opportunity for them financially. I think it sucks, but it's a reality of the job, and I'm willing to understand it.

however: the geno situation got so, so, so out of control.

good god some of those articles were becoming clickbaity as shit, lol. it got pretty ridiculous at the end, and even though we ALL were sitting here like "alright cool, so geno and the pens are playing hardball with each other and using their favorite weapons on each other: The Media", that doesn't mean that those very-much-intentionally-leaked things didn't cause a ton of stress, ahaha.

I was convinced—CONVINCED—that Geno's "I'm going to free agency, you bastards" move was him DEMANDING that hextall blink first, but that doesn't change the facts that: he said he was open to testing the market, he could have gotten a great offer, and he could have taken it. I don't think he threw that threat down lightly, but I really truly honestly (my friends will tell you) believed that that move was him using the last thing in his arsenal. I could be wrong! he really could have (and by a lot of current indications, did) mean that as an earnest "fuck you, I'll go", but my poor little optimist heart was clinging onto that idea, and I will fully accept and admit that geno was absolutely waging psychological war on the pens front office, very intentionally, in an attempt to

get what he wanted(/deserved) and

make them look bad.

anyways, back to my point: I was genuinely doing really well (yay, disassociation and blind necessary optimism) if I didn't read any media pieces on the situation, and because of my belief that those pieces were written with both a lack of real knowledge of the situation (NO ONE FUCKING KNEW GENO WAS GOING TO SIGN. NO ONE LEAKED IT. NO INSIDERS. THE PENS POSTED IT.) and the intent to drive traffic during an intense and, yes, dramatic moment...

well, we'll just say that in addition to side-eyeing the fuck out of the pens front office/org, I will also be gazing upon several beat reporters skeptically for a hot minute.

[imaginedmelody]

I’ve now watched season 1 of Ted Lasso in full three times, and I end up focusing on a different character on each rewatch. The first time, for instance, it was Coach Beard who caught my eye; the third time, I was drawn to Nate. But the character who got my attention the most on my second viewing was none other than Trent Crimm, the Independent- and I was particularly struck by how different my perception of him was from the way the other characters described him. So I decided to give my two cents on it in this post.

I like to unofficially call it ‘Trent Crimm Did Nothing Wrong.’

If you take the other characters’ words as truth in the earlier half of season 1, you don’t get a very favorable impression of Trent Crimm. Roy calls him a prick; by Ted’s slightly kinder estimation, he’s a ‘tough cookie.’ But honestly, I think that paints an unfairly cynical picture of him. To me, he’s not cruel or condescending or overly tough. He’s a serious journalist, and clearly a very perceptive man, but if you look at his reactions (especially to Ted), he warms up right away- just not as enthusiastically as some of the other people Ted comes across.

The first three episodes do a great job developing that progression. Sure, Trent’s “Is this a fucking joke?!” comment isn’t exactly polite...but like I said, this man is a serious journalist. Here comes this guy, Ted Lasso, who has no experience in or even knowledge of the sport he’s now coaching, no professional experience coaching whatsoever, no ties to Richmond or London or even the UK. Of course Trent doesn’t take him seriously. He’s not rude, I’d wager, so much as he is insulted. Because Trent’s accustomed to interviewing professional athletes and top-tier coaches with excellent qualifications. If he’s a little condescending towards Ted, I kind of don’t blame him, because Ted doesn’t seem like a serious person worth his time, and now he’s being made to treat him like he’s on par with the seasoned club managers they normally cover. It’s like if you showed up for your first day of law school and instead of a licensed attorney, your professor was a circus clown. You might find them amusing at first, but if they don’t start spouting legal jargon, before long you’re gonna start to wonder if you really have to take them seriously.

And of course, him asking Ted point-blank in episode 2 to explain the offisde rule isn’t very nice. And Ted reacts pretty much the way he should to that jab- playing it off with a joke- but understandably, it might have annoyed Trent. Ted’s good-natured playfulness, when in the context of explaining a basic concept he should already know, can come across as flippant. And Trent doesn’t strike me as the type of person who particularly enjoys being toyed with.

So when he’s a bit disdainful of Ted in episode 3, I can understand where he’s coming from. But at the same time, I maintain that Trent never seems as aloof toward Ted as he’s made out to be. When Ted compliments him in episode 1, he seems surprised but pleased; when he compares Trent to a Roomba, he strikes me as bemused, but not offended or antagonistic. He’s thorough in his questioning and incisive in his observations, but at the same time, I think he’s reasonably open-minded. Willing to be surprised, at least. He’ll always be kind of like a cat that needs to sniff your hand before you can pet it, but his warmer core is revealed in tiny ways right from the start, if you’re willing to look for it.

And Ted, who has never failed to look for the heart of someone, is absolutely willing to see it.

I think there’s a kind of unspoken agreement between Trent and Ted: Ted knows that Trent won’t shy away from asking the difficult questions no matter how friendly the two of them are personally, and Trent knows Ted won’t try to evade them but will answer genuinely. That’s so clear to me in season 2 episode 1, when Trent asks the question about Earl. He doesn’t spare Ted the tough question even though he clearly likes him as a person, and Ted gives him a thought-out response in return. I also love how those hints of warmth from Trent come out in all the riffs on his trademark “Trent Crimm, the Independent” introduction. You can see a sort of puzzled amusement when he realizes he’s going to be lightly teased. I’d bet most people don’t do that to him, but he seems to enjoy it- even if he doesn’t show it outwardly that much.

In short (lol none of this post is short), I really hope we see more of Trent Crimm this season. Because he’s not as much of an asshole or a stick in the mud as characters like Roy and Rebecca make him out to be. And I think there’s a lot of potential to see beneath the surface of him, to that soft center Ted has so capably found.

[kaistrex]

Holy shit it sure was, I had the wrong tab open and I was not paying attention. I'm so sorry!

Where the Real Beasts Are ⛰️-⭐-🎢

Haha no worries! It's so easily done!

It turns out I had a lot to say, so strap in 😂

(Where the Real Beasts Are)

⛰️- What was the hardest part?

Because I wrote the fic over such a long period, there’s probably something from earlier on that I’m forgetting, but as it’s freshest in my memory, I think keeping myself motivated to get the final chapter finished was one of the hardest parts. When I first sat down to work on it after the penultimate chapter was out, I had about 2k words of notes/scenes written, and it just got longer and longer as I chipped away at it until it somehow hit 22k.

Usually when I write, I can see the finish line steadily approaching, but as the chapter expanded and I fleshed out all of the scenes, it just seemed to get further and further away and was low-key soul destroying 😂 I think it was just the idea of finally seeing the entire fic finished after years of working on it, and the thought of basking in the glory of hitting post for the final time, that was my biggest motivation in getting it done haha

It was a complete bitch to edit, and I’ve since vowed never to estimate the final chapter count of a longfic again, because then I feel a ridiculous need to actually stick to it instead of allowing myself a bit more freedom.

🎢- Were there any scenes you were nervous about? For audience reception or otherwise?

Honestly, I was most worried the two times that the Graphic Depictions of Violence archive warning came into play towards the end (one more extreme than the other lol). I really thought I’d wake up in the morning to people furious that I didn’t leave a warning that it was about to get a little bit gory, so I was cringing away from the screen a little every time I opened my inbox to read any new comments in case of abuse, but then nothing ever came haha

I added that archive warning to the fic when I posted the very first chapter back in 2018 in preparation for the fic’s finale (3 years later...), so I was ready if anyone bitched about it when the warning was right there in the tags and they read it anyway (as I’m sure we’ve all seen people do often enough before). I worked really hard on the plot, and one of the instances of violence was supposed to be a surprise, so no way in hell was I going to spoil that ~something~ was about to go down in the chapter notes.

But in the end, I worried over nothing 😂

⭐- What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of?

There’s a whole lot of fic to go through to answer this, so I’m probably forgetting something, but I think my favourite scene is back in their rooms after the masquerade. I’m the sort of person who feels good about something once I’ve written it, but then as soon as I post it, I tend to cringe too hard to be able to reread it properly, but if I look over that scene again, I’m still really pleased with the atmosphere of it. I don’t know if anyone else feels the same, but to me it feels like there’s a hush over the whole scene, like it’s a held breath or something, and I like how slow and tender Derek is as he undresses Stiles TvT

Shoutout also to the final line/paragraph of the fic which I am still proud of. Endings are always the worst part to write, and I can’t say a fic is finished until the ~feel~ of the final sentence is right. I wanted the final note to be something happy, and something I’d still be pleased with even after time passes, and so far that still holds haha

Derek pulls back to brush their noses together, sunlight sparkling in his eyes of green and gold, the shadow of a daffodil petal falling on his cheek. Stiles’ heart is so full that he can feel it beating in his chest, tugging him forward like perhaps it always has, leading him where he was always meant to be, straight into the arms of his beautiful, tender-hearted wolf.

I wanted it to tie things together, so it ends up touching on the procession that opens the fic with the mention of the daffodil, the colour of Derek’s eyes which Stiles had seen when Derek was first given to him as a ‘direwolf’, and then it vaguely references the journey Stiles was lead on throughout the fic. The final ‘tender-hearted wolf’ was supposed to be like a juxtaposition of how good Derek is despite Kate/the Argents’ belief that him being a wolf makes him a ‘beast’, to try and tie in the through line of the whole fic and the title.

I have no idea if that even came across to anyone reading it (I don’t usually think about word choice like that, ever!), but I’m proud of it anyway 😊 It took a lot of agonising!

(I did consider for 0.5 seconds if I should capitalise ‘Wolf’ to reflect how Derek first came to him, but realised immediately that would just highlight Derek as a pet which I knew was a BIG NO-NO and not the vibe I was go for at all.)

-

Thanks for the ask! I always end up having a lot to say for these things, so I hope it was at least a little bit interesting haha

The icons are from here if anyone wants to send any my way, or you can ask anything else that comes to mind. My inbox is always open~

[sylvie-writes]

Bad (3): Memories We Used to Share

First inspired by this song ➳ Bad by Lennon Stella

(Ransom Drysdale x wife reader)

Summary: It’s time to move out! 6 months of getting your life sorted, along with a few surprises, some pleasant, others not so much.

A/n: My search history is looking weird, due to this series haha. I’ve been reading multiple articles about uncontested divorce just to get an understanding for this series lmao. 

Disclaimer: Just so you know, I’m not a law school graduate, so I can’t say I really know what in the hell I am talking about. With that being said, if I screw up the divorce process in this chapter and/or the next, please don’t come at me. Our law system is confusing and I’m just here to write, no one said it would be accurate lol. 

Warnings: mild profanity & your typical cheesy, predictable fanfic by yours truly. 

Shoutout: MANY THANKS TO THE ANON WHO GAVE ME SOME IDEAS TO MAKE THIS A SERIES!

As always, plz pardon any mistakes, the stories are always proofread but I tend to make many mistakes regardless.

Series Masterlist

For six months, you worked to get your life back together. 

By the end of April, a week after you yelled at your (ex) husband, you had successfully packed up your stuff, without being bothered by the man. Ever since the night you had confronted him, the two of you never stood in the same room or even looked the other in the eye. So it worked in your favor today that he was busy with his new flame, probably entertaining her with a trip to Prada. Never once did you take a break, for eight straight hours, you spent one whole Saturday organizing and strategically packing your things away. Around eight o’clock, all of the boxes were stacked by the front door, ready to be moved into the U-haul trailer attached to your car. Lucky for you, Ransom could care less about what was his and what was yours. The dog, also going home with you. In truth, ever since that day you rightfully ripped the man for his mistakes, a black cloud has loomed over his head, no matter what he may be on the outside, he’s broken on the inside. 

One more box was left in the bedroom, and you quickly jogged up the stairs to get it. Unbeknownst to you, as you were upstairs, Ransom and Blair had come home, apparently mindless to your car in the driveway, because when you walked down the stair box in hand the two pulled away from each other’s lips, staring at you.

You had made an agreement with Ransom that he’d not show up while you packed your things. He had done a good job so far, up until now that is. “Oh, (y/n), I didn’t think you’d be here this late. You should get some rest.”

His “concern” disgusted you. Now he decides to care about you? I think not.

Filled with rage, you drop the cardboard box, letting the contents inside shatter. In most divorces, there wouldn’t be this much emotion, but it hurt you beyond words can describe, to see this man that you loved with every inch of your body, kissing another woman, in YOUR house. You could even see yourself in her shoes, because damn, once upon a time, you WERE her. 

“Are you okay!” Blair came rushing to your side, to try and move you out of the shattered glass. She seemed like a genuinely nice person, and had she not been a home-wrecker, you’d want to be her friend. But at this moment, all you could think about was that she wasn’t even bothered by the fact that she’d been seeing a married man. So, just as Blair tried to help you, you pushed away her hands and collapsed on the steps, lightly sitting in the glass, yet numb to the pain. The weight of the world had finally, physically pushed you to the ground. You were at wits end, and things were looking pretty dark. At this point, you couldn’t even see the light at the end of the tunnel. What had you done to deserve this and would there be a second chance for you? 

Just then, Ransom came to remove Blair, telling her to go get ready for bed, the two clearly coming from a night of clubbing. As she ran up the stairs, mindful of the glass, Ransom came to pick you up. Grabbing your arms, you laid limp against his chest, willingly letting him carry you down the stairs. Oh how you missed his caring touch, why couldn’t things be different? It should've been you out dancing with him, you lip locked with him. Instead, here you were, letting the man who single-handedly destroy your life, carrying you to the couch, laying a blanket and a long kiss on your cheek. Consumed with emotions, sleep soon took over your body before you could protest and leave the house. Had you only heard Ransom’s apology.

“I’m so sorry my precious (y/n), it shouldn’t have been this way, my love.” A few stray tears rolled down Ransom’s cheek as he sadly sauntered up the stairs. 

Ironic, how in a house that was once yours, a new woman took your spot in the bed, besides your once husband, while you slept on the couch like a toy banned to the isle of misfits. 

The next morning, you woke up to the smell of coffee and giggles. You were angry at yourself, no doubt, how could you be so vulnerable by staying at the house? Before you could think anymore, you walked to get your keys, finding that Blair was in the kitchen, cooking pancakes for Ransom, who sat at the kitchen table with coffee and the newspaper. You kinda screwed yourself, by leaving your car keys on the kitchen table. It was your only escape and unfortunately it meant interacting with dumb and dumber. 

The two once again forgot you were there, shocked to see your form walking through the doorway. With a fake smile, you grumbled out a few choice words.

“Don’t worry, I’m getting out of your house ya lovebirds!”

Victory at last. Your words stung Ransom, well, rather word. In another time, you’d say our house, but now, it was no longer the Drysdales’ Household, no, it was Drysdale’s Household, hence why you reminded Ransom that he was alone. Sure, Blair was there but you both knew it wouldn’t last. 

That day, when Ransom and Blair had once again left, going god knows where, Ransom texted you that you could pack your boxes into the u-haul trailer. Since you just wanted to haul ass out of the place this morning, you left the trailer and boxes behind, making a beeline to the nearest bar. So far you had handled yourself without alcohol, but now you needed some relief, specifically in a few whiskey sours. Around 3pm, Ransom then sent that text, and you sobered up, gracefully throwing up in the bathroom stall, then driving to the house to officially get out of his life. Even with a major headache, you managed to pack the trailer. It was then that you realized you were destined to function alone, you didn’t need Ransom. Screw him. 

In May, you went around town, scanning different apartments finally finding one. Unfortunately, there was a waitlist with three people in front of you, the estimated move in time being late July or August. With that being said, you moved all your things into a storage unit and continued to live in a hotel room. Thank the heavens you kept your job, despite Ransom’s pleas for you to stay home when you were married. Somehow, you were able to juggle working and functioning around others, coming home to be your true self, the night normally ending with takeout and tv. This divorce had truly ruined your life, and Ransom’s. The two of you constantly lived with the rain cloud, never once catching a break and seeing a rainbow overhead. For now, you were just separated and soon you’d file for divorce.

Around the last week of May, your life was turned upside down once again. This time, for a good reason. 

Currently, you were on lunch break, eating at a nearby diner with your closest work friend, Lorraine Bailey. She really has been your best friend, taking the title that used to belong to Ransom. At least she was loyal, understanding, and wasn’t a backstabbing bitch *ahem* your ex.

“How are you holding up, honey?”

You were too busy staring into the nothingness of your chicken sandwich, that when Lorainne gently shook your resting hand, you let out an incoherent “huh?”

“I was asking how you are doing? With everything that’s been going on in the past few months--”

Before she could answer, you just snapped, quickly yelling at the woman, who wasn’t trying to be nosy, she was genuinely concerned. 

“Could you just stop nosing around? It’s none of your business really!” 

At that, Lorraine leaned back in her seat, lowering her head like a scolded child. Honestly, you didn’t mean what you had just said and you had no clue where it came from. Lately, your mouth has been an unreliable thing, for you could barely control your answers without acting like a moody child.

Quickly, you excused yourself, lightly jogging to the bathroom to expel the few glasses of water you drank. As you washed your hands, upon looking in the mirror, you were met with a face you barely knew. Sure, you looked the same  on the outside, but on the inside you were a different person. No longer peppy or truly happy. Ransom had taken it all from you, but it was time to take that back. Walking out the bathroom door, you vowed to yourself from this point on you’d try to become your old self. 

Surprisingly, Lorraine still sat at the booth, allowing you to give her a real and sincere apology.

“Lorraine, I’m so sorry, I can’t even fathom the words to justify my actions. Lately, I haven’t been able to truly control my emotions and I took it out on you. That was wrong and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve it, after all you’ve always been here for me.”

The woman smiled at you, despite the tears rolling down your face. Why were you crying and since when did you become such an emotional person? You weren’t cold hearted, but nor were you one to cry at a movie. 

“That’s fine, I know you are under a lot of pressure. What do you say we get out of here and spend the rest of break at the bakery across the street?”

“I’d say you know me very well!” 

Soon, you flagged down the waitress and paid the tab, ignoring Lorraine’s pleas to pay for lunch. It was the least you could do after yelling at the poor woman. As you left the restaurant, the guilt was still surfacing in your body and you felt the need to hug your best friend, who was happily surprised, hugging you back. 

Once in the bakery, you were met with the sight of homemade chocolates, like your dog at home, you were practically drooling. Let’s just say the baker was stunned when you bought two dozens of chocolate, and then proceeded to eat half on the way out. What was even more surprising, was that about a seventy-five percent of your order was chili dark chocolate. 

As you were walking down the street, and to work, Lorraine reached over, tasting one of your chocolates, a chili one to be exact. Her face twisted with disgust and her suspicions were confirmed. 

“Uh, (y/n), I think I might have an explanation for your constant mood swings, the amount of times you leave to the bathroom, and why you’d buy this absolute garbage!”

The minute she listed all the symptoms together, you immediately denied her. 

“Don’t even say it. I’m just moody because I’m mad, I pee a lot because, uh-”

“Exactly! Even you can’t explain all of it. Just do me a favor and buy a test. It won’t hurt anything to try.”

“Yeah, but I know you are wrong, Lorraine.”

“I mean c'mon, don’t you want to know too?”

At that moment, the two of you were halted in front of a CVS, Lorraine pointing at the store like she was Vanna White. 

Your conscience: Maybe you should listen to the woman, after all she has three kids!

And so you did.

Thank god your friend was there, because you were an absolute novice in this field. Sure, you wanted kids, but right now you were praying that you were just having an irregular cycle due to stress. Lorraine, the best, best friend anyone could ask for, bought the test to spare you the embarrassment. 

The minute you walked into work, Lorraine pulled you into the bathroom, giving you instructions, you following them, then waiting for the timer to beep.

Any minute now you’d find your results, and for some reason part of you wanted this test to be positive. It would be nice to have a little company.

Once the timer beeped, you looked at the plastic stick that held your future, immediately smiling when your answer was pregnant.

You were pregnant!

But the father...

Unlike Ransom, you weren’t unfaithful and unfortunately, the father was no doubt him. Of course, the one time that asshole sleeps with you, he got you pregnant. And to think at the time, he didn’t even really love you just enraged you even more. It was gonna be a while till you got over this. 

So the rest of the day you were thrilled, and it was a lot easier to stick to your vows from earlier. Your mood was noticeably different to many of your coworkers, smiles all around. The old (y/n) was slowly reappearing. 

June through July, you spent your days, working and when not working, taking advice on a baby from Lorraine, even visiting her doctor who she so highly recommended. Fortunately, the doctor didn’t prod around in your life and was absolutely judge-free about your situation. You couldn't have been more grateful. 

In early July, you reached the second trimester, where the slightest bump formed on your stomach. Now it wasn’t noticeable to everyone, but to you, just the slightest site made your lips turn upward into a smile. Motherhood was the best thing to happen to you. And to make matters even better, your baby was going to be a Christmas baby, making his or her appearance at the end of December! 

Telling Ransom was gonna be a whole other story.

Finally, August 3rd came around, and the apartment complex office called, an opening for you. Lease signed, you shelled out your first payment and soon moved in, once again alone. It had been months since you’d heard from Ransom and honestly it was nice. 

The month of August flew by, and soon September came. Time passed by with flying colors and your mood had improved a bit, the baby in your stomach making life worth living. On the last Friday of September, your work friends decided that they all needed to go out, inviting you the first weekend of October to go ice-skating and out for dinner! It was time you treated yourself to something nice, so you giddily agreed. What could go wrong? 

That Friday, after work, Lorraine came to pick you up, the two of you going to meet the rest at the ice skating rink. Being 26 weeks pregnant, your stomach had finally started showing, allowing your coworkers to start nagging you. Last they had all heard, you were divorced. So when they asked, you kept your lips shut, it really wasn’t any of their business. The only one who knew was Lorraine, but she wasn’t a gossiper.

Arriving at the ice rink, the cold Massachusetts air was blowing, making you zip up your trench coat ever the slightest. Unfortunately, the wind wasn’t the only thing making your blood run cold. 

Most of your coworkers were out on the ice, Lorraine going out too, you told her you’d be out soon. It was nice to watch the skaters enjoy their time on the ice till you saw him. 

The familiar tan suede coat made your face lose all warmth, your own jacket no longer keeping you warm. Beside the laughing man, was the one and only, Blair, except this time a new accessory on her finger. A diamond ring you could see all the way from your table along the side of the rink. His laughter made you sick, and at this point you wanted to throw up the hot cocoa you had been sipping on. 

At the moment, you and Ransom were in the middle of divorce, thank the heavens an uncontested one, having been able to work many things out with your ex. This meant, zero court hearings (hopefully), a thin expense, and overall a clean divorce. Then, you had hired a paralegal to work on the legal papers and currently the two of you were waiting to see the judge to finalize the divorce, the approximate date set around the second week of November. 

Feeling suddenly insecure, and definitely not ready to tell Ransom, you pulled the large trench coat across your chest and secured it with the belt around the waist. The minute you looked at them, all the memories came flooding back. One specifically hitting you at this moment.

“Ransom, I’m gonna fall! You know I’m a klutz.”

Your husband just persisted and instead slipped on your ice skates, tying them up and resting his warm hands on your knees.

“Honey, I will be right beside you the whole time, and by the end of this, you’ll be a pro!”

His reassuring smile was all you needed, nodding, you placed your gloved hands in Ransom’s bare ones, trying to waddle your way to the rink entrance. First, Ransom skated onto the ice, turning and holding his hand out for you. The minute your feet made contact with the icy ground beneath, you fell straight to the ground, Ransom reached out to grab you, although he ended up going down with you. You looked at Ransom who wore an entertained smile on his face, laughing. Playfully, you slapped the man on the shoulder. 

“My failure isn’t funny!”

Ransom tried his best to cease his laughter, getting off the ice to help you up, although he was still chuckling the slightest bit. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it!” 

Once on your feet, Ransom locked arms with you, trying his best to balance you both, while also coaching you. 

At some point through the night, the fake snow was fluttering in the air, along with tunes of piano and jazz. You had finally gotten the hang of things somewhat, yet still latched close to Ransom. The man on your side, leaned down and whispered in your ear.

“I give you my word that every year I’ll bring you to this exact rink, just to teach you how to skate, darling.”

If only that same Ransom was the one you were staring at right now. 

But overall, looking back, memories like those, with him, are the ones you miss.

Why did he have to change?

“(y/n)?”

A tap on your shoulder, made you pop up from your seat to be met with the stare of that same man. He slowly gave you a once-over, making you slightly worry that he’d notice the baby bump.

He didn’t. 

“Ransom.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing, Drysdale.” 

Clearly, Ransom was trying to give you an olive branch, but at the moment, you just weren’t accepting it.

“I asked you first, (y/l/n).”

“Work.”

Your voice was monotone and Ransom gave a slight hum of acknowledgment. 

“Nice. Well uh- it was nice seeing you.”

Nervously, Ransom waved you goodbye, heading back to Blair who was removing her ice skates. You took notice how she was struggling and Ransom wasn’t down on his knees helping her as he did you. It did your ego good to see that your husband hadn’t completely replaced you. There was a difference between you and Blair. Ransom actually loved you, like the “die for you” kind of love. While Blair, on the other hand, was honestly there to fill the whole in his heart. 

It did intrigue you though as to why Ransom wasn’t being an arrogant jerk to you, yet he was being humble? None of it added up, but before you could do any more mental acrobatics, Lorraine came over, asking you to come ice skate, to which you smiled and put on your skates. 

Tonight was about you, not him. 

Something you hadn’t said in a long time.

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[andoqin]

Sisyphus: The Myth Ep 1- A Dissection

Okay, so I’ve had some time to process what I subjected myself to today, so I’ve decided to list everything in episode 1 that is just completely insane and an example of how Not To Do it. 

I’m not an expert on Film Theory, but i’ve watched a shitton of media, plus I watch a lot of Youtube Video essays, so clearly I’m half

The episode starts off okay enough even if we get a weird exposition dump and “tense” parting scene between a father and daughter. 

We start in what presumably is the time travel terminal where people stand around in pyjamas waiting to get through.

Okay, fairly interesting if unspectacular but I’m guessing that’s the point, this is now an industry. We zoom in and get this line that made me laugh, because well...

a) humans are living creatures and b) the amount of microbial organisms on human skin is estimated to be at hundreds of billions, or more. And this kind of time travel/teleportation is always hinky because well if you think about it, how does that even work without getting into The Fly territory. I’m willing to cut this drama some slack here and maybe it’s an awkward translation besides. 

This gets... exceedingly long, but if you want a (too) in-depth summary of what happens in ep 1 and why it doesn’t work (for me) read on :D.

But then the real trouble starts, because PSH’s dad (I’m not bothering to learn the character names) says he’s not going with her and this is apparently very sudden. He then makes her repeat some lines that are supposed to create tension? Be exposition? Idk.

“Don’t trust anyone.” 

“Don’t get involved with [CSW]’s character.”

PSH get’s teary eyed, because her dad is not coming with her, but the problem with scenes like these is: I don’t know either of them and do not have an emotional connection to their parting. Sure, it tells us something about PSH (she likes her dad and is worried about him) but I also don’t know how important her dad is going to be down the line. So when PSH asks about her mom and what if her mom dies and her dad just replies everyone dies at some point I’m a bit weirded out, but not to the point where I necessarily want to know more. 

We then smashcut to PSH waking up in a world that’s more similar to ours and she does what her dad told her to do. She grabs her (very inconvenient) suitcase and runs along the tracks she woke up next to. We see that she is somewhat surprised by the running trains and also hardy enough to track on despite bleeding feet. 

Alas, creepy people in gas-masks with guns and drones are waiting for her, so she runs even harder and after some near misses (they are able to track her by some sort of radiation meter) makes it to safety. 

On top of a train car that the TWO DOZEN PEOPLE WITH GUNS AND DRONES are too stupid to check apparently. Clearly if she’s not under the train car, the detecting devices must be mistaken. So she just chills on top of the train car, sitting on her suitcase and those goons trundle off after 5 minutes presumably like they’re Assassin’s Creed Enemy NPCs.

Now we get introduced to CSW in the most insane scene i’ve ever witnessed. Honestly. 

He is just ~chilling in 1st class in an airplane, filming a douche who is rude to the plane staff and epically owning him because he’s So Smart.

First of all, I don’t know what that has to do with soggy noodles(which the other asshole complained about), since by that measure the noodles should be *undercooked* (lower boiling point means longer cooking time after all) and secondly good lord I already hate this guy. He then proceeds to Epically Own (tm) with a convenient Forbes (sorry “Eorbes”) Magazine that he is on the cover of and flirts with the plane hostess. 

So right off the bat, our impressions of CSW are supposed to be: He’s Cool (look at his hoodie and general bearing), he’s Smart (debatable), he’s nice to The Help (I guess???) stands up to bullies, and most importantly he’s fucking rich. I guess we’re also supposed to get the impression that he’s arrogant, maybe a bit of an asshole, but still cool and everything. 

If this had been where the scene had stopped I would have rolled my eyes and then just continued on watching. But no, the writers thought: “Schooling some sexist rich asshole isn’t enough to show off how Cool and Smart and Cocky our main character is. Also he likes the ladies.” Look at him, he’s Tony Stark only from South Korea!!!

So shortly after he sits down, and we have the first moment with CSW where he connected with me emotionally (he sees the ghost of his dead brother and the way he says “because ... you’re dead.” and I thought OOOH this I can work with), the cockpit windshield is hit by what looks to be a suitcase (DUN DUN DUUUN) and something crashes into one of the engines, causing it to explode and catch fire. 

The pilot is knocked out and unconscious and even the co-pilot loses consciousness (after conveniently unlocking the cockpit lock). CSW is the only one who goes to check on the pilots, having grabbed a fanny pack from his onboard luggage and quickly assessing the situation he revives the copilot and welds the hole in the windshield shut with some ducttape out of his fannypack and a plastic notepad. IT’S VERY EFFECTIVE! They did it in WW2, or so CSW tells us so you know it’s true.

I’m not sure that ‘s how plane windshields and duct tape and plastic notepad thingies work, but well the plane is still in freefall we have more important things to worry about :).

The electrics are all on the fritz, the copilot cannot get control of the plane and so CSW takes a seat in the captains chair (having foisted the captain out of it, not even he is so crass to sit on some unconscious dude’s lap i guess) and quickly calculates that they have 3 min and 30 secs for CSW to restart the electronics before the plane crashes. So he hands the co-pilot HIS PHONE with a timer on it for 3.5 minutes so the co-pilot can tell him when 30 seconds have passed. Instead of idk, contacting Air Traffic Control or ANYONE he just sits there and lets his big boy brain work. 

After 30 seconds he has an idea, because he’s Tony Stark-ing it up like crazy now and can just figure out the electronics of a plane cockpit in 30 seconds, but guess what. HIS PHONE RINGS. AND HE ANSWERS IT, because he’s devil-may-care and “haha look at this, friend, i’m in the cockpit of a crashing plane we have 2 minutes before i’m dead.”

Said friend is calling him from the board meeting of CSWs company, bc of course the board is ~unhappy with CSWs antics (I gotta say I can’t blame them) and the friend doesn’t believe it at first, when he says he’s in a crashing plane, but checks on the news to see it’s true. 

I ... I don’t think news work like that, we’ve gone 5 minutes from the initial troubles till now, there won’t be news reports all over the media yet. THEY’RE NOT EVEN TALKING TO AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL YET. Hell he even tells his friend to call 119 or the airport for help. I just... I’m very forgiving of a lot of things in a drama when it comes to writing. I’m willing to ignore obvious blindspots in a narrative, if I think the narrative is strong enough to support whatever it’s trying to say. At this point what could calling the police or the airport do, they have like 90 seconds left...

I don’t know what the writers are trying to tell me with this scene though? It’s so stupid, so unrealistic and CSW is so unpleasant and weird in it, because he tells his friend that he has to confess to taking out the friend’s college girlfriend on a date while they were still together. 

Well since the drama is longer than one ep, they do make it out alive, but the fact that the co-pilot managed to safely LAND the plane (which is insane to me) gets skipped over and we just get news snippets that herald CSW as a hero who singlehandedly saved the planes passengers. 

We then get to see him in his natural habitat “convalescing” in his giant apartment where he is being showered with gifts by worshippers basically. He continues to be an asshole, but his friend tells him, one more stunt and the board will kick him. 

The board will kick the guy who just saved a plane full of lives????? Yeah right, I’m sorry but that’s just fucking stupid from the writers. Why would anyone do that, even if the board hates him, kicking him now, when he’s literally a national hero would be the worst thing they could do for the stock prices. It’s only here so the writers can shoehorn in that CSW is close to OD-ing on pharmaceuticals and that the board wants to monitor his therapy and they have a way of “forcing” him to comply. 

Also he has what looks to be a dental x-ray machine next to his bed. Someone correct me if I’m wrong but lol what’s up with these set design choices. 

His friend tells him to go to fucking therapy or else and the next scene he is actually at a therapist. 

Who’s his ex-girlfriend (they have a whole tangent about that).

Who writes a report about his therapy to the board. 

But hey at least the therapy gets us a flashback of the last time he saw his brother. Big surprise he was an asshole to him as well, so no wonder he’s traumatised by that.

After therapy he *conveniently* runs into the co-pilot who’s incoherent and beaten up and hands CSW a usb-drive. It contains video of the cockpit on the day of the crash and it’s obvious what struck the plane was a suitcase and what crashed into the engine was a human being (DUN DUN DUUUUUUN maybe someone forgot to convert feet to meters when setting up the time travel thingamabob).

As he looks at the (very pixelated) figure of the person about to crash into the engine, he suddenly sees his brother’s face and honestly this scene just made me laugh? I know it’s supposed to be haunting and more evidence of CSW’s deep trauma, but I guess at this point my brain was just completely checked out. 

And that’s what we end our introductory phase of CSW. What the fuck was that plane thing even for. To show us he’s callous in the face of danger? He’s an asshole even when he’s about to die, so he’s got a long way to go? He’s haunted by the spectre of his dead brother and the guilt he feels for not being there when he died? I got a lot of that before we had the insane Plane Adventure!!! There are literally millions of ways they could have gotten this information to the viewers and not made an absurd spectacle of the plot that means that everything afterwards just feels lame, because you already had the insanity that was this plane ride, so it can only go down tension wise.

Now we’re back to PSH, but honestly her parts are kinda boring and bog-standard “UwU I’m unfamiliar with this way of life, I don’t even know how to eat a banana (that looks *nothing* like a banana btw), so I just eat it peel and root and all. Also I’m from the Future, that means I obviously know todays LOTTERY NUMBERS.”

I know kdramas like clichés and tropes, I like them too, that’s why I watch kdramas, but you gotta give me a bit more if you want me to at least invest in PSH, because I’m sure as hell not invested in CSW. 

She gets taken in by some guy, because we can’t have her homeless all the time, and she needs someone to explain this world to her and also how to eat bananas properly and she opens her suitcase. It’s got both future-tech-y looking stuff and a pink notepad that seems to hold specific information on what needs to happen on certain days. 

She also makes this expression and I don’t know if we’re supposed to laugh because she’s not threatening or if we’re supposed to laugh because she’s not threatening, but we know she’s gonna kick ass later, haha you just thought she was harmless. I gotta say it’s the former for me.

Rarrr fierce Elite Warrior PSH coming to get you.

She tries to get in touch with CSW, already breaking one of her dad’s three commandments. Oh, I guess staying with this guy breaks the other two. Welp, so much for that then. What even was the point of that first scene...

Anyway she tries to get in touch with CSW but ofc you cant just call the richest person ever (Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos would get very angry voicemails from me if that were the case), but she manages to get his voicemail. Or a voicemail he spoke for. But oh no, she is just Not Familiar with this world and keeps having a conversation with the voicemail as if it’s CSW himself. 

CSW who has scienced his way to finding the suitcase that crashed the plane and as she begs his voicemail not to open the suitcase, of course he opens it and gasp the combination for the suitcase lock is his birthday!!! Something his brother used to do!!! 

MAYBE THAT MAN WAS HIS BROTHER AFTER ALL!!!! OH NO!! 

But thank fuck the episode is over now.

VERDICT:

Just no. Don’t do this. The latter half of the show is more standard fare, but the first 25 minutes destroy any capability of this show making sense. I can see what the writers are trying to do, but it’s so hamfisted and badly written I’m just not willing to go along.

If you want a show that also has a fantasy action aspect (and this show is all fantasy no matter how much it tries to science it up), watch LUCA instead. That show at least knows how to set a tone, how to get us invested in the characters and does exposition in a way that doesn’t feel obtrusive. 

[makeste]

Bnha is a little too irregular for me right now (covid is the worst :( ), so I started reading One Piece and it's like, soooo long. Got me thinking, how long do you think Bnha will be? Personally I think we're just before time skip and it will take, like 300-400 chapters to end? So manga would be 600-700 chapters long. I could be wrong of course. Thoughts?

One Piece is fucking awesome, and the beauty of it is that is is 12 million chapters long so it will take approximately 182 years to finish reading, and you are almost guaranteed to be entertained for the vast majority of that time lol. I actually took a break from it a little ways into the Wano arc (sometime in the middle of what would later become volume 92) because it was getting harder for me to keep up with the plot week by week, especially since I was really into BnHA fandom by that time. my plan was to binge it once Wano ends. however when I was looking at the list of chapters on Wikipedia just now I saw that Oda is only 11 chapters away from breaking the 1k mark, which is pretty awesome. so I might try to catch up in the next month or two in celebration of that milestone, because damn.

with BnHA though, my own guess for how long the series will be is actually a lot shorter than most estimates I’ve seen. first of all, full disclosure that I am definitely biased regarding the timeskip part, because I personally am not the biggest fan of BnHA timeskip theories, unless they’re really short timeskips like the 3-month one we got recently. the thing is, this is explicitly a manga about their time at UA. it’s in the title and everything lol. and I like that. I like reading about them as kids, little hero eggs gradually growing into little hero chicks who will eventually become big hero birbs, but not just yet. a lot of the story’s appeal for me comes from that. there’s a certain... I don’t necessarily want to say innocence, but idealism, maybe?, that’s associated with stories about young adults, and doesn’t always carry over into the stories about those same adults once they’ve grown up. and I want the story to keep that.

there are a lot of things about the current setting that I’m very attached to and don’t want to lose. I like that they’re kids, and that they’re full of potential but don’t always know what they’re doing, and they screw up and make mistakes and get in over their heads, and are dealing with all of their messy jumbled teenage emotions. I like that they’re living with each other in the fanfic dorms and seeing each other every day in their classes. I like that romance isn’t a big part of the series (though there’s still plenty of shipping fuel to go around). I like that we get to see them interacting with their parents and siblings and get to see those relationships. and most of all, I like that -- unlike almost every other young adult series I can think of -- BnHA acknowledges that they are just kids, and the adults by and large actually treat them as such. and yes, I’m even including the child soldiers arc here, because the decision to basically draft them into a war was handed down by the HPSC (an organization that likely has a history with child abuse from what we’ve seen). U.A. was against it, and tried their best to keep them away from the front lines, chilling out in the woods and helping with evacuations instead of fighting villains. contrast this with, say, a:tla, which I love, but which is very much one of those series filled with full-grown adults who are all “it’s up to this 12-year-old and his assorted 12-to-15-year-old friends to lead the battle to save the world lulz.” and this includes possibly the most beloved full-grown adult of all time, who nonetheless peaces out with an ironclad argument of “while it is true that the final villain is my actual brother, I’m still going to let the 12-year-old handle it because something something politics slash destiny.”

but anyways lol got sidetracked there. so steering this back on course now, I genuinely, truly love that in BnHA there are all these adults in the characters’ lives who are trying to keep them safe and nurture them and shield them from that extra burden of responsibility for as long as possible while they’re still learning. and so the kids have that extra safety net of support, which to me as a reader is just... comforting, I guess. like, I understand that it’s not going to last forever, but it’s reassuring to know that it exists for them for now. and I’m not in any hurry to say goodbye to that in favor of just tossing them out into tHE REAL WORLD!! lol. like omg no my babies.

anyway but so the point is that, with respect to everyone else’s theories, I personally don’t want a timeskip lol. and tbh I don’t really see the need for one either? if anything, we’re about to enter the most chaotic period in the entire manga once this arc ends. I’m assuming Tomura will survive this and escape somehow, the better to live and fight another day. and so if that’s the case, I feel like this would be the absolute weirdest time to do a timeskip, because how far ahead can we even jump lol. too far and we’d basically be coming back to an already-destroyed world lol whoops. basically I just don’t see how we can jump ahead more than a few months at the most, assuming that the threat of Tomura is going to be looming over everyone’s heads the entire time. plus we’d miss out on what I’m betting is going to be some of the most intense worldbuilding drama in the entire series, with our beloved characters potentially being swept up in like half a dozen political controversies. I sure don’t want to miss out on any of that. we didn’t wait so long to see this war play out only to skip out on the highly entertaining aftermath of it all.

anyway so that’s my as-usual-longer-than-necessary rant about timeskips. so now let’s talk about the series length. and here, I’m basically just basing my guess off of what Horikoshi has said in interviews. off the top of my head, there are three times he’s mentioned the ending of the series in interviews. first, there’s this interview, published in July 2018:

Interviewer: Previously in SUGOI JAPAN*, you mentioned that you would like Boku No Hero Academia to be a short and concise story and not drawn out, but what percentage of the story is complete at this point?

Horikoshi: When the decision to extend the series happened, I personally thought “I guess I want to end it here” and it was around Volume 30.

Interviewer: So then are you 2/3 done with the story?

Horikoshi: That’s what I had originally planned, but when I think of all the things that must be set up before getting into the last arc, I realized, “Ending the series at Volume 30 will be impossible” (laughs). However, the current arc that is going on all has purpose that will be relevant in the last arc.

*this is referencing a remark he made back at an awards ceremony back in March 2017.

second, we have this interview from August 2018, where he again mentions wanting to keep the story concise:

Do you know what the ending of My Hero Academia is? Do you think it'll be 80+ volumes like One Piece?

No, it won't be infinite – I don't have the stamina for it to be as long as One Piece. I'd like to keep it concise.

and lastly,  this one which was published in December 2019:

What can you say about the future events of the manga?

I’m conscious of the end of the series, and writing towards that. I think the story will always be moving in big ways going forwards. My Hero Academia has a lot of characters, a lot of characters doing different things with different motivations, and the story is heading towards a conclusion where all of that comes together and heads towards the end.

my takeaways from these interviews are that (1) he originally planned for the story to be about 300 chapters long, (2) he’s had a clear idea of his overall endgame for a while now and has been steadily working towards that (as he put it in another interview, he knows all of the dots, but is still figuring out the lines to connect them all), and (3) he specifically said a couple years back that he did not want to write a long One Piece-length series, and his goal was to write a more concise story than that. Horikoshi’s pacing has always been much faster than Oda’s (or Kishimoto’s, or Kubo’s, etc.), and so I think it’s a realistic goal for him to wind up with a significantly shorter story in comparison.

my best guess is that BnHA won’t be much longer than 400 chapters, or a little over 40 volumes. he said back around chapter 180-something that he was nowhere close to being two-thirds of the way done. but it’s been two years since then, and if we haven’t reached at least the two-thirds mark by this point, I would honestly be very surprised. it would mean we’ve barely made any progress at all, and I don’t know about you, but the past few arcs have felt very purpose-driven to me. I think he has a pretty good idea of where he’s heading at this point, and that to me supports the idea of a shorter story than a lot of people have speculated. mind you, he might end up doing a sequel or something afterwards (although I kind of cringe thinking about all the ways we’ve seen that kind of thing go wrong in the past, ngl).

but as far as the series proper, yeah, I’d say 400 chapters is my best guess. ultimately I just hope he’s able to tell the story he wants to tell and gets as much time as he needs to do so, without feeling any pressure to then drag it on past that. knowing when to end your series is so underrated honestly. I have my fingers crossed that it’s a skill Horikoshi hopefully possesses.

[sennaleee]

(Heyo, here’s a P5 Akira/Akechi omo fic that I wrote entirely for myself despite having a ridiculous number of requests for different things please don’t kill me. ;~; I have a HUGE note regarding my thoughts about timeline, my opinions on these characters and their relationship, and other things, but it was such a Long Explanation that I didn’t want it at the beginning of the fic. If that’s something that interests you, please scroll all the way to the bottom of the fic for that!

Short version with the most important stuff: This ain’t a shippy fic, but I do ship Akechi/Protagonist and like Akechi as a character despite him being a villain. Based on timeline, Akechi is suspicious Akira is a Phantom Thief but doesn’t know for sure, and Akira hasn’t yet figured out that Akechi knows about the metaverse and is a persona user (probs takes place between Kuneshiro’s and Futaba’s palaces, but exact date doesn’t really matter). There are no spoilers for P5 Royal in this fic.

Also gotta admit this is 100% self-indulgent nonsense, so if you're looking for something Deep and unquestionably In Character, this probably ain't it. Honestly, I just wanted to get back onto the writing train, and doing something entirely for myself was the best way to do that lololol. (also upon rereading this to edit, I realize that Akechi is entirely ooc whoops please just accept this for what it is because I don’t want to rewrite it when it’s literally a kink fic)

This fic was inspired by this post.

Fic contains omorashi. Also a note that this is somewhat different from my usual stuff in that there’s a lot more focus on the relief than the desperation, which I blame on point of view. Anyway. I’ll stop talking now and let you get to the actual fic lol.

-----

“Oh, you're back.” Sojiro's usual drawl as he stood behind the counter was expected. What was not so expected was the detective prince seated primly at said counter, an empty mug in front of him and a book held open by his gloved hands.

“Out a bit late today, eh? I'll leave closing the store to you then,” Sojiro said without waiting for a reply, replacing his apron with his jacket and giving Akira a short wave as he headed out. There weren't any other customers, and Akira really had been out late – Ryuji had wanted to train, and afterwards Akira had run into Ann when he’d made a stop in Shibuya’s underground mall. Glancing at his phone, he noted that it was technically past closing time already, and was surprised Sojiro hadn't given him more of a talking-to, not to mention he hadn't said so much as a word about Akechi having to leave Leblanc.

Speaking of Akechi ...

Akira flipped the sign to 'closed,' not wanting to risk having to deal with any more late customers wandering in.

“Come here often?” he joked, pleased when Akechi rolled his eyes and closed the book, setting it aside.

“Good evening, Kurusu-kun. You're back much later than usual today.”

Shrugging, Akira dropped his schoolbag on a booth, only giving Morgana a cursory glance as he hopped out of said bag and stalked up the stairs, throwing a disapproving glare over his shoulder. Akira went behind the counter to grab Akechi's mug, giving the inside a quick look, deeming it clean enough before refilling it with what he knew was Akechi's favored coffee blend.

“Yeah, one of my friends likes running, so I offered to run with him. My other friend likes talking, and I ran into her on the way home.” Akira put the now-full mug back in front of Akechi with an exaggerated bow before going about preparing a coffee for himself.

“Ah, isn't it past closing? I did want to talk with you today, but I'm sure you have more important things to be doing,” Akechi said, even as he rose from his seat, grabbing his briefcase from where it was set on the chair next to him.

“Don't worry; if Sojiro wanted you gone, he would've said. Stay as long as you like. Besides, I just refilled your coffee – be a bit rude if you rushed off now.” Akira gave Akechi a narrow-eyed smirk, just daring him to do something deemed 'rude.'

“As long as I'm not causing you any inconvenience,” Akechi said slowly, though he made no move to sit back down. “If you'll excuse me, I'm going to use the restroom, and then we can talk as long as you'd like.”

“Oh, wait, sorry,” Akira said. “Toilet's out of order currently. Sojiro promised me he'd get a plumber in sometime tomorrow.”

Akechi stopped from where he was halfway to the restroom, turning abruptly toward Akira with a single eyebrow raised. “Kurusu, don't you live here?”

“There's a public bathhouse across the street,” Akira shrugged. “Works well enough for emergencies. Otherwise I'm usually only here to sleep anyway.” Watching as Akechi's eyes darted for the slightest of moments toward Leblanc's exit, Akira continued, “I can walk you over there if you need?”

“No, that won't be necessary,” Akechi was quick to answer, returning to his chair and immediately reaching for his coffee, taking a long drink.

“Suit yourself. It's no problem.”

“I can assure you there is no need.”

Holding back an exasperated sigh, Akira instead walked around the counter and very deliberately moved Akechi's briefcase off of its chair and onto the booth next to Akira's own bag, ignoring Akechi's token protest. Plopping down in the now vacated chair, Akira folded his hands around his own coffee cup and smiled at Akechi. “So, Akechi-kun, what is it you wanted to discuss today?”

---

It had stayed in the back of his mind throughout the rest of the evening and later into the night. Sure, Akechi hadn't mentioned the restroom again, but there were the tiniest of tells – he was crossing and uncrossing his legs just a tad more than he would normally, he was twitching his foot up and down whereas he tended to sit completely still, it was taking him a good hour to get through this third cup of coffee when he could usually down them in no more than thirty minutes, even while talking to Akira throughout.

Akira wasn't focusing on Akechi's sure need of the restroom. It was more a curiosity, wondering why he didn't just give in and use the toilet in the bathhouse when obviously Akira was aware he'd needed to go for some time, but Akechi was nothing if not stubborn.

They jumped from topic to topic throughout the night: What restaurants Akechi had visited recently, what Akira had been doing with his friends, how both of them were doing in school, plans for the upcoming summer break, and of course, the all-consuming topic of the Phantom Thieves. Granted, as soon as Akechi started asking the more probing questions, Akira redirected toward Akechi's more recent interviews, charmed to watch Akechi scowl for just a moment before plastering that pleasant grin back on.

Akechi didn't stumble or stutter or lose track of his words. He kept sipping on his coffee, albeit at a slower pace, while Akira watched on.

It felt like no time at all before Akechi glanced at his phone and gave a start. “Ah, it's getting quite late! I really must get to the station before the trains stop for the night. Thank you for indulging me, Kurusu-kun.”

“Pfft, how many times have I told you not to thank me? I like talking to you, idiot.”

“No need to be rude,” Akechi softened his scolding with a smirk, eyes sharp as they looked up at Akira from under his bangs.

“Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll make it up to you by walking you to the station.”

“Thank you, but that's really not necessary,” Akechi was quick to say.

“It is -” Akira stopped to dramatically pull his phone out of his pocket to check the time, “- 11:47 at night. As safe as Yongen-Jaya is, I refuse to give up on chivalry and stay here while the Detective Prince himself walks alone to the train station.”

“If you insist. I suppose it wouldn't exactly be 'princely' of me to argue.” Akechi's smile was more obviously forced than Akira had seen before, and he could swear he saw Akechi's left eye twitch before he turned toward the door and made his way toward it.

“Hey, Akechi?”

“Yes? I don't want to miss the last train, Kurusu,” Akechi said.

“Yeah, I know. I only thought that you wouldn't want to forget your briefcase.”

Akira took great humor in watching how quickly Akechi's back straightened, arms stiffening at his sides in what Akira assumed was embarrassment.

“Of course. Thank you, Kurusu-kun.”

Carefully locking Leblanc's door behind him, Akira smirked to himself when he realized Akechi had already started making his way toward the station without him. His gait was no faster than usual, and Akira doubted he would've known anything was wrong without his much earlier clue.

“Hey, wait up! The station's not even a five minute walk away. I promise you're not going to miss your train,” Akira called, jogging a few steps to catch up.

“My apologies. I simply don't want to risk the possibility of becoming stranded here overnight. After all, it would do nothing for my reputation if it were to come out that I spent the night in a Yongen train station.”

“Don't be ridiculous. If you miss the train, you're coming back to Leblanc.”

Akechi looked over in shock at that, eyes wide and mouth open as if he were about to retort, yet no words came.

“I don't know why you're so surprised. What sort of friend would I be leaving you to fend for yourself? You wound me, Akechi, truly.” Akira clutched at his chest, dramatically throwing his head back in faux-distress.

“Be serious,” Akechi scowled, continuing his steady march toward the station.

---

The last train for Shibuya left Yongen at midnight exactly. The big clock on the station wall informed them that it was currently 11:56.

Gesturing toward this clock, Akira said, “See, plenty of time to make your train. I can't believe you doubted me.”

“Yes, wonderful job, you correctly estimated the amount of time it takes to walk from your own home to the train station you frequent.”

“No need for sarcasm. A simple 'thank you' will suffice just fine.”

“Oh, thank you, my hero, Kurusu Akira. Now that I'm at the train station, I assure you I'll be able to make it to Shibuya on my own. No need for you to stay with me.”

“Come on, Akechi, it's only four minutes. I'm convinced you want to be rid of me.”

“Four minutes...” Akechi looked at the clock before looking down at the floor for a moment, seemingly deep in thought. He glanced once more at the clock, once toward the train tracks, then before Akira even knew what was happening, Akechi was off like a shot. He wasn't quite running, but his long strides were moving him through the station at an impressive pace.

Akira took only a moment to watch after him in shock before taking off at a swift jog to catch up with him.

“Akechi, what—”

“Please excuse me, Kurusu-kun,” Akechi said in a strained voice before abruptly pushing through a door. Akira, still chasing after him, entered right behind.

He shouldn't have been surprised to be faced with a restroom. It was small with only a toilet and a sink with no actual stalls, likely due to the Yongen-Jaya station itself not servicing too large of a crowd on the daily. Sure, he shouldn't have been surprised – Akechi had made clear his need for a restroom literal hours ago, and he'd had three cups of coffee since then, but Akira still couldn't wrap his head around Akechi being so desperate as to run away from him to get to a bathroom. Sure, there had been small tells throughout the night – just that much more fidgeting, that much more tightness in his facial expressions, but if Akira hadn't been looking for these things, he certainly wouldn’t have noticed them.

As it was, Akechi wasn't even bothering to wait for Akira to leave, instead dropping his briefcase on the floor and working on undoing his pants even as he was still walking toward the toilet.

There was no way he was unaware Akira had followed him into the bathroom. Apparently, his desperation was so great that he simply didn't care. Akira would've left. He wished he could've left, but as Akechi would've been in direct view of the door had Akira opened it, he didn't dare, instead reaching over and locking the door to prevent anyone else from bursting in.

Looking away would've been, at that point, the correct thing to do. However, the situation itself was so bizarre that Akira felt frozen in place. Frozen and staring as Akechi managed to pull himself out, already obviously dripping even before he managed to aim at the toilet. He was biting his lip and Akira could see, even from across the room, that Akechi's hands were trembling as he aimed and then he was peeing and wow Akira didn't want to be impressed, especially in what was clearly supposed to be a private moment, but the force of the stream was like a goddamned firehose.

The immediate relief was obvious on Akechi's face, his expression relaxing for the first time all night. His eyes drifted closed and his mouth went slack as he let out tiny sighs and cut off moans.

Akira was still frozen, staring, unable to pull his eyes away from the blissful relief apparent on Akechi's face. He could feel his own face flaming in a blush. The sounds alone would've been embarrassing enough, the harsh splashing and the sighing that was only slightly quieter now that Akechi was biting his bottom lip.

To Akira, the moment lasted eons. It seemed neverending in both the worst and best of ways, but truly it couldn't have been longer than a minute when the force of Akechi's stream finally began to wane, the liquid exiting slower and slower until it tapered to a stop. Akechi had turned his face away now, as he tucked himself back into his pants, flushed the toilet, and strode to the sink, taking his time washing his hands and decidedly not meeting Akira's gaze in the mirror. Not that Akira wanted to. At least, he didn't think he did. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to meet Akechi's eyes again after that display.

Once finished washing up, Akechi stayed facing away from Akira.

“You can leave now, Kurusu.” Akira had expected his tone to be darker, angrier, but all he could hear was a bone-deep exhaustion mixed with … was that sadness? Embarrassment? Disgust?

Unfortunately, reacting to unexpected situations such as this was not Akira's forte.

“Uhhh. Wow. that looked like it felt good.” Great, Akira, shove your foot right into your mouth, amazing job there.

“Please just go,” Akechi groaned, covering his face with both hands.

“So actually … You know how Leblanc's toilet is out of order?”

“...Obviously.”

“I definitely have to go now. Mostly out of sympathy for you, but—”

“Would you—ugh,” Akechi growled, face still buried in his palms. “Fine. Fine. I will be the one to leave.” Akechi spun around and all but leaped toward his bag, holding it very conspicuously in front of his crotch as soon as he grabbed it, but it was too late. Akira had definitely seen a small dark patch just to the right of Akechi's zipper, made all the more obvious by the light tan color of Akechi's pants. He strode to the door, trying to yank it open and quickly realized that it was, in fact, locked.

Akira choked on a laugh, the ridiculousness of the past five minutes fully catching up to him. He desperately hoped Akechi hadn't noticed – laughing at him was the worst way of getting Akechi to keep spending time with him, Akira knew. Thankfully, if Akechi had noticed, he didn't acknowledge it as he unlocked the door and let himself out at last.

It only took Akira himself a few minutes to finish in the restroom, even though he took his time, knowing that Akechi had surely left for Shibuya already. So, it was to Akira's immense surprise when he left the bathroom only to see a familiar figure sitting against the wall, knees pulled to his chest with his head pressed into them.

“Akechi?”

“... I may have missed the last train.”

Akira glanced at the clock. 12:08. Apparently Akechi getting his relief did take as long as it seemed...

"At least you already have a back-up plan,” Akira said, grabbing Akechi's briefcase before offering him a hand up. Lifting his head, Akechi fixed him with a glare.

“And if I refuse?”

“You won't refuse. Besides, there's a laundromat right next to that bathhouse I mentioned earlier. I'll throw in your pants for you so you won't have to travel with a stain tomorrow.”

“Would you shut up?” Akechi hissed, but he seemed too tired to put any true venom behind his words.

“Come on, I'll lend you my spare pajamas.”

Without another word, Akechi finally took Akira's hand and rose to his feet.

“I will warn you, Morgana may act very offended by you staying the night.”

“I'll be sure to apologize to him for invading his space then,” Akechi murmured as the two boys left the station and began retracing their earlier path walking side by side.

Akira snorted and bumped his shoulder gently against Akechi's. “Hey, if Morgana wants to stay with me, he's going to have to get used to you being around.”

Akechi's breath caught and he didn't answer, though a quick glance over revealed his cheeks dusted light pink.

---

An hour later found Akira and Akechi both finally ready to sleep after having made a late-night laundry run and settled onto the bed and couch respectively. Morgana, surprisingly, had already been fast asleep when the boys arrived and they were respectful and quiet so as not to disturb him. Akira was sure he'd get an earful about his unexpected guest tomorrow, but at the moment, he wasn't in the mood for a lecture.

“Sleep well, Akechi. And please, if you have to use the restroom during the night, don't hesitate to wake me. It's no trouble to show you to the bathhouse,” Akira said, only partly doing so to push Akechi's buttons.

He could swear he could hear the blush in Akechi's words as he replied, “Thank you, Kurusu-kun. I'll be sure to do so.”

-----

(K, so here’s the super long note I promised at the beginning of this fic. I copy/pasted verbatim from how I had originally written it, so if things seem redundant, whoops sorry.

Full disclosure: I am a die-hard Akechi/Protag shipper and I will not apologize for that. I don't think I made this shippy at all, but I know Akechi is a polarizing character, so I want to make y'all aware that it was a dirty Akechi stan who wrote this. I just think he's an interesting character and I am very sympathetic to him okay don't judge meeeeee. I couldn't remember exactly when Akechi first started going to Leblanc in the actual game, so the timeline is kind of skirted around, but I imagine this to take place after Makoto joins the team but before Futaba contacts them. I know, I know, no one cares about The Lore on a kink fic, but it makes me happy to think about it, and it is also more important in this case because of the following:

The way Akira and Akechi act toward each other is heavily based off of where they are in the timeline + how I interpret canon events (I refuse to say headcanons because I can defend why I think this). Basically, I feel there's strong evidence that despite suspecting Akira to be a Phantom Thief, Akechi didn't truly know he was until Okumura's palace. I also feel that there is even stronger evidence that Akira and Morgana didn't realize Akechi was a persona user until the school fair event that occurred after Okumura's palace. Yes, the event that allowed them to figure this out happens significantly earlier, but there's nothing pointing toward either of them actually figuring it out until the school fair. Please keep this in mind when reading, as this 'headcanon' of mine definitely affects how I write them interacting with each other. I realize that may be confusing, since I think there's some discrepancy as far as interpretation goes around these events and when they truly happened, but this is how I interpreted the game.

Also in regards to the very ending of this fic: Didn’t add this part in because it would’ve dragged for really no reason, but my thoughts on what happens the next morning is that Akechi is naturally an early riser and gets up earlier than both Morgana and Akira and sneaks out so he doesn’t have to face Akira again, which is how we can skirt around the little issue of ‘Akechi can understand Morgana talking.’ Sojiro is definitely in Leblanc already when Akechi leaves. There is awkward eye contact, but neither of them say anything, and Sojiro vows to never bring it up to Akira. (He definitely brings it up to Akira later that same day.))

[trewloves]

endeavour fandom meme! i was tagged by @georgefancys and @lieutenantmalcolmreed thank u very much friendos :)

top 5 episodes: neverland, muse, arcadia, icarus (focusing on the positives? morse in robes and him and shirley hangin is so cute), pylon (fugue runs a very tight race though)

seasons in order of preference: hmmm 2 (PETER’S PRIME), 3 (quality peter-jim-morse-shirley squad content), 4 and 6 are very close for me, 5, 1, 7 (i couldn’t catch all of it but like honestly it was kind of disappointing)

favorite scenes: (1) ok the end of arcadia when morse is writing the letter to peter and peter’s leaving with hope and reads the note?! (2) also in pylon when they find the doctor’s house or whoever the fuck he is and they’re like ok you were literally trafficking girls and EVERYONE is so pissed, thursday physically fights this creep and even box and jago are like super soft w the girls and morse and jim and everyone else are so protective and like fuck you man!! i love that (3) in ride when bixby gets yiked in the lake and morse jumps in to try and save him, and then the next shot it’s morning and morse is sitting under a tree in shock while jim and peter are like bLiMeY mAtE do you ThiNk he’s AwLrigHt?? and then peter goes over and is like “u alright” and morse is just staring into space and peter’s like “morse.” and he looks up and is like oh. yuh...honestly it’s the little things!! (4) in game when the chess guy’s like “haha you played chess in school” and then trewlove absolutely SCHOOLS him and mops the floor with his sorry ass (5) that really cute domestic scene in icarus where shirley’s painting her nails and morse is j chillin on the floor

favorite musical moment: IN FUGUE WHEN HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE THE THEME FROM ACT III OF TOSCA STARTS MAKING ITS WAY INTO THE SCORE...oh baby that’s the good stuff! i love tosca (it just streamed on met last night) and like EVERY TIME barrington pheloung quotes it in the score it awakens something within me... fugue is just really my shit!!

favorite cinematography/imagery: arcadia or canticle...esp in canticle you can feel the heat and it’s so beautiful it makes me emo

favorite non-morse ensemble character: PETER JAKES PETER JAKES PETER JAKES!!!!!!

favorite one episode character: eve thorne in muse...or like. ALL the girls at blythe mount in nocturne are such a fucking mood

favorite morse look: when he wears the tux to go to the chamber music concert in coda and then he gets called to work and is just standing there with his hands in his pockets rocking back and forth on his heels in the fucking morgue.... i also REALLY love him in robes in icarus that’s all

biggest disappointment: season 7 lol. that’s all. goes without saying

provide some spicy takes: ok i’m on the same boat with tee and a lot of other people here, morse and shirley are fwb, you can’t change my mind. also this is a bit spicy (2) if peter jakes and ronnie box ever met there would be ABSOLUTELY UNREAL sexual tension. it would be so hot i wouldn’t be able to look at it and simultaneously would be like screaming cuz like...they have the same kind of attitude vis-a-vis work (thought i don’t think peter would ever get himself in a similar situation as box) and i think they’d probably hate each other but they would totally have hate sex, peter’s a total bottom and like just imagine box fucking rawing him one night after work and then the next day box is trying so hard not to hide his satisfaction when peter’s like clearly sore lmao and morse is like what the fuck is going on here and peter’s like i hate that bastard lmao. i’m sorry i don’t make the rules

free space! i started writing an morse/jakes elevator sex one-shot like a month and a half ago and still haven’t gotten around to finishing it. i’ll leave an excerpt under the cut if you’re interested, i’ll probably finish it after school ends in may hee hee

i’m gonna tag uhhh @ladyaj-13 @fitzrove and @wherehefoundtheporcupine if u guys want, no presh lol

if u want to read the excerpt i left in the free space: 

"It's so fucking hot," Peter groaned. He checked his watch. They'd been in the elevator for at least half an hour, it felt like, with little sign of building maintenance or any of the tenants realizing anything was wrong with the elevator. Even if they did notice, it'd be another thirty minutes, by Peter's estimate.

"You're letting yourself get hot and bothered," Morse said. He'd switched sides, so that he and Peter were facing each other now, legs stretched out in front of each other. His head was tipped back against the elevator wall and he exhaled slowly, eyes half-closed, as if meditating or on the verge of falling asleep.

"Are you seriously falling asleep right now?" Peter asked incredulously, gently kicking Morse in the shin. 

"No," Morse mumbled, in a way that sounded very much like he was falling asleep.

"Oh, you've got to be joking.”

Morse opened his eyes and sat up a little straighter. "You said so yourself. It's hot." He brushed the back of his hand along his forehead, where Peter could see sweat beading at the hairline, and sighed. "And we're not exactly doing anything thought-provoking."

Peter drank in the sight of Morse in front of him, collar half-unbuttoned, sweat glistening thinly along the curve of his upper lip, one hand dug halfway into his hair to keep it from falling back across his face. He was briefly reminded of the time he'd lent Morse one of his shirts, back when they'd first started working together on that opera killer, and how he'd watched with oddly insatiable fascination as Morse had undone his shirt. He inhaled sharply now, feeling the same rush of adrenaline, as Morse threw his head back again and tugged as his collar, baring his throat. 

"That's indecent," Peter said, when he finally snapped out of his trance.

Morse looked at him sharply, then snorted. "Pervert."

"You ought to know what it looks like."

"Piss off," Morse said, but he was laughing. 

Emboldened by Morse's smile, Peter crawled forward on his hands and knees until he could straddle Morse. "Make me," he said. He caught the shock registering on Morse's face, feeling the rush of excitement as the surprise softened into curiosity and then back into alarm.

"Peter! What are you playing at — we're in an elevator!"

"That's not going anywhere," Peter finished, "and that's stuck in-between floors," he undid the next button on Morse's shirt, freeing his throat and exposing his collarbone, "and we've nothing else better to do."

[kewltie]

YEAR END FIC REVIEW 2019

This year I wrote:

The Dumpster Fire - a bunch of random ‘verses 

to catch the golden snitch 

we're young gods 

all these delicate things 

no peace, no quiet in your eyes 

rip out those wings, darling 

the little prince 

interlude: world's okayest dad 

—to the moon and back 

as the moon bears witness (i swear to you) 

ao3 tells me that’s 95k wc if we discount random teasers/snippets i only wrote on tumblr & twitter than we’re well over 100k. 

Overall thoughts

I honestly thought I wrote less this year giving how many actual new stories I have up on ao3, but over 100k is still a pretty admirable job so far so I can’t be all that disappointed in myself. I don’t have an actual estimate wc on everything bc I post random snippets/teasers on twitter and than move the more edit and polish version on tumblr AND THAN i move it to my dumpstire fire collection if it fit. so like, i don’t know exactly how much wc i did but still moderately impressive given how profoundly lazy i can be lol /o\. 

there were a lot of things i wanted to do but i didn’t get around to it bc i held myself back from committing to various big projects due to my promise/obligation to updating social media au :S. which i guess is good bc i didn’t add on to MORE WIPs but also depressing bc im stuck in a rut bc of it. i hope to explore more projects next year!

My best story of the year

“we’re young gods” prob my psuedo mad max post-apocalyptic wasteland abo au... GOD WHAT A MOUTHFUL. outside!pov has always been one of my fav narrative piece to write esp when im building a evolving world that come with it. i love a post-apocalyptic landscape, the fight and survive theme has always been a deep fascination for me plus w/ abo which makes it even more interesting. i talk a lot about the idea of kingmaker and the person behind the seat of power/throne a lot and i wanted that deeply in a lot of my ‘verses bc stories of movers and shakers of the world are always fun bc their actions have such HUGE RAMIFICATION and i always like politics and wars a little too much lol /o\. 

My favorite story of the year

“to catch the golden snitch” bc i really like my veela!katsuki fic the most. prob bc it plays into adapting some familiar concept/theme/source (HPverse) and putting my fav spin on them with bkdk. i have always been fond of creaturefics in hp fandom so i knew i wanted to make another VEELAFIC bc why the fuck not. it also play into my fav trope of katsuki being something inhuman, dangerous, and beautiful and also SO COMPLETELY WHIPPED FOR THS HUMAN BOY ;D. 

Most fun story to write

“to the moon and back” aka DRUNK!IZUKU FIC!!!! bc HELLO DRUNK IZUKU IS THE ABSOLUTELY BEST.

Story with the single sexiest moment

“all these delicate things’ or aka the panties fic bc unf i really like see man indulge in feminine things esp when they’re someone who had such a history of violence like izuku who had suffer so much hurt in his life; AND ON HIS BODY which are riddled with scars and i think should allow yourself to be kind/softer to yourself and things like panties are so DELICATE that idk i really dig that juxtaposition??? A LOT. 

Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story

“rip out those wings darling” aka mutual yandere fic i was originally given a prompt by someone but my giftee dropped out so I RAN WILD AND CAME UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT. idk i always like fucked up relationship esp when it’s mutually assured destruction kind of fucked up where they both equally crazy about each other and im all for that. fandom has a habit of making izuku being super creepy stalker but they make him violent rapist and that doesn’t sit well with me. you can make izuku creepy and stalkerish w/o playing into that kind of things :S. i hate how darkfics these days are like fall under that purview when you can have darkfic w/o necessitating sexual violence... like pls explore mindgames and emotional/mental manipulation more like man i think that’s much more interesting so i tried that with this fic. izuku doesn’t hurt others or hurt katsuki BUT HURT HIMSELF to manipulate katsuki to care for him and im like SO ABOUT THAT bc it play into his self sacrificing nature w/o me bending his characterization to make him into something recognizable and katsuki violent obsession and possession with izuku is ramped up but it isn’t sexualized but about ownership and wanting to izuku enough to to kill and idk i dig their mutual destructive habits about each other lol. 

Story that shifted my own perception of the characters

i swear to god i don’t like the villain!deku trope. im more indiff to it than anything but the trope tend to twist him into something unrecognizable to me but when i was coming up about this ‘verse i wanted izuku to be a bit jaded and betrayed by the world/society but still SO EARNEST AND HOPEFUL about it even though his goals has twisted in a way that by saving it he has to break it first. somehow trying to true to himself as he slip further and further in darkness and i just find that kind of duality fascinating????? like how do i keep in character but make him fall and see his struggles b/t both sides and i find myself liking villain!deku just a tiny, A TINY more and open so much potential. 

Hardest story to write

“as the moon bears witness” bc i did a rushed job on it and I HATE IT W/ THE FIRE OF TEN THOUSANDS SUNS. there’s so much i wanted to include but i fucked up and i hate how much I FUCKED UP ON IT. this is def the fic i regretted the most bc i knew what i wanted but i couldn’t exactly execute it correctly but instead of trying to think of a way to fix it i just let it go and i hate it and myself ever since than. UGH. 

Biggest disappointment

"AS THE MOON BEARS WITNESS” for the exact same reason as above. i want to rewrite this so SO BAD and i will. 

Biggest surprise

i didn’t have any surprise fics tbh. everything that i wrote is pretty much under my purview LOL but i found myself being more active on twitter the last half of the year and writing more threads (i.e. live writing) than moving it on tumblr. a lot of pieces i written on twitter was sudden for me and took me hostage but ya know what i go with the flow anyway bc what can i say im just a weak, weak girl w/ zero self control. 

Most unintentionally telling story

maybe “no peac, no quiet in your eyes”? I think that idea slapped me across the face bc i spent a week getting really obsessed with asoiaf fics on ao3 and man I LOVE POLITICS AND WARS?? did i mention that??? i love dynastic rules, warring kingdoms, and a love earth shattering enough to move mountains and i wanted to see that so much so that ‘verse kind of happened. 

Story I haven't written yet, but intend to

omfg SO MANY JUST SOOO SOOO MANY. i would really to get around to writing a full fledged fic of either surrogate au or sperm donor au bc i love that kind of unconventional family and romcom are like YA KNOW MY WEAKNESS. 

Goals for this year:

like every year i keep saying i want to do tododekubaku fic and maybe 2020 WILL BE MY YEAR??

finish social media ch 2 before/around my bday of this month as a gift to myself a;sjdf;alsjdf lol 

take on more projects that won’t land in the dumpstire fire collections

explore new fic avenues bc i always like trying new things and breaking in new genre/tropes bc why the fuck not

write all THE CLICHES and don’t let anyone tell me otherwise about my omega!deku loving ways

[anonymoustalks]

The left has become absorbed by identity politics and is obsessed with race.. it scares me that they will create more racists than before they started

(6-17-20) You both like politics.

You: heyaa

Stranger: Hi

Stranger: How are you

You: anything you're interested in?

You: I am fine

Stranger: I'm interested in hearing opinions on things

You: oh, me too ^^

You: what kind of things?

Stranger: Politics is divisive, but in order to get a better understanding I wish to listen to both sides

You: awesome, I think that's great ^^

Stranger: :) thank you

You: do you have issues you care about most?

Stranger: The current fall of western society

You: fall of western society huh

You: can you elaborate more?

Stranger: Over the past few years we have seen western society devolve. Where once we were fairly united and we stood strong, we have become more divided and with the introduction of identity politics, that has just worsened till we have gotten to where we are now. China is currently pushing her borders, and yet with the US in flames and the uk following suit (along with France for that matter), noone challenges it

You: mhm *nodsnods*

Stranger: To speak out against the lunacy is to be called a racist and a bigot, not that that's anything new of course but those who are calling for these things seem to not really understand the importance and significance of their actions. I see this as akin to the 1920s Weimar Republic. They are pushing for things they don't want

You: you type a lot haha

Stranger: Sorry i am choosing my words carefully

You: mhm it's fine

You: so you think strong foreign policy is very important?

Stranger: I do. I am from South Africa, though I live in the uk. For those who live outside the us and Europe, we see the importance of Baro and the us on a geopolitical scale. China owns the east of Africa, if not central as well. The us has been the top dog preventing them and Russia from doing much for years, though that's going to change in the coming years

Stranger: NATO not baro* bloody autocorrect

You: oh okay I was wondering what that was haha

Stranger: If I may ask, where are you from?

You: the us actually

Stranger: I thought you might be given the time :) it's half 1 am here

You: yeah it's late!

You: so in your view, western countries need to have more of a spine?

You: is that basically what you're saying?

Stranger: Always. But history has a cycle.

Stranger: Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. Weak men create hard times

You: very fair

You: speaking of cycles, I think something that is floating around these days

You: is whether it's sort of like the beginning of the end of american hegemony

You: sort of like UK's empire gradually had its sunset

Stranger: This is what I am concerned with. All empires have their time in the sun, and all shall fade. I had hoped I would be dead before it happened. I made a prediction several years ago that should trump win in 2020 again, there will be civil war. I am unsure on my prediction of civil war, but I can see that he will win. Should there not be war, I give it another 2 presidencies before yourselves will fall, and ww3 breaks out

You: hmm the us is steamy right now, but idk about civil war

Stranger: It's been brewing for a while now by my estimation

You: that said I would not be surprised about China continuing to be more aggressive

You: that stuff with India yesterday?

You: ^^

Stranger: Without strong willed opposition, they will always push more overtly. They have done so in the shadows for years now

Stranger: And that's just one example

Stranger: They have intruded on Thailand air space as well

You: I don't think either democrats or republicans are very foreign-policy aggressive right now though

You: idk if your concern will be that much better with biden

You: clinton was a little hawkish but she lost 2016

Stranger: It would be much worse with Biden, or anyone from the left EXCEPT Tulsi Gabbard

You: oh you sounded like you didn't want trump to win lol

Stranger: I don't like him. But honestly, he's the best option out of what has been shown. Bernie is a socialist, Hillary is a warmonger, Biden will probably be a puppet. Who can stand? Hillary could be strong, but you would go to war. For all his faults, Trump has avoided war and conflict. He brought North Korea to the discussion table.

You: okay ^^

Stranger: I may not like him but he is effective, and has been a boon to you economy though as someone who works in finance, the next crash is due soon

You: fair enough although I think a lot of places are hurt by the coronavirus economy anyways

Stranger: Yeah.. the lockdowns are odd.. why quarantine those who are healthy? We have always quarantined those who were I'll first, and then those who go out and riot get a free pass? It's a bit confusing, and is a little bit of double think. Rules don't apply to you if you have the correct opinions it would seem

You: idk the US never really had forced quarantines

You: everything here was just you were supposed to do it

Stranger: The uk did, apologies

Stranger: Well not heavily enforced near me

You: we had college students going to beaches even though the quarantine was happening

You: because young ppl think they are invincible

You: and dumb ^^

Stranger: Hahaha yeah you aren't wrong in that

Stranger: But I have waffled on, may I hear your opinions on what we have discussed?

You: mhm, I disagree but it's cool yo~

Stranger: No that's great, it shows that we can discuss and hopefully come to compromise

Stranger: Thank you for being chill and relaxed

You: mhm I'm basically a hippie though so I don't usually take strong stances on international intervention

Stranger: That's fair and understandable. I used to agree with that as well for many years

You: I kind of think it's a little bit of a selfish position to take (the peace one)

You: in the sense that I don't want to deal with other people's problems

You: so in a sense it's kinda selfish

Stranger: It is and it isn't :)

Stranger: It's a moral good and a difficult thing. Peace only exists as reprieve from war. Humanity is a war like species, and peace only ever exists between them. And I applaud your pacifism

You: idk I'm not sure if it's always something to applaud

You: I think in a sense it's a kind of inaction

Stranger: A good thought experiment for you then, look at ww2

You: yup

You: I'm familiar with isolationism in history and its ramifications

Stranger: The us was neutral officially for years, and because they took no strong stance, the Nazis rose to power. Admittedly it was partly the fault of all the allies and ww1 but that's a digression.

Stranger: But war was thrust upon them officially by what happened. The peaceful stance can be taken from you, but that is not a bad thing in my opinion

You: yup

Stranger: What would you do if you could, at that time?

You: at that time?

You: hmm

You: it's not a question I've thought very much about

Stranger: I thought on that myself

You: and what did you conclude?

Stranger: My answer was intervention. Stop the Anschluss, the Munich agreement, the extremely harsh measures of the treaty at the end of ww1

You: oh yeah that was a terrible treaty

You: I kind of imagined myself as an average person though haha

Stranger: But I understand the reasoning at the time for allowing all those things to go through

Stranger: I am too

You: you would have protested your government signing that treaty?

Stranger: That's why thay generation was called the greatest generation. We the average man stood up and took up arms, because they believed what was right.

Stranger: It is difficult to say that if I lived in that time I would. Of it was today, 100%

You: mhm... war is frightening

Stranger: We cannot judge the past with the same moral standing we have today

You: of course

Stranger: And yes, war really is a horrible thing

Stranger: If peace was an option, I would go for it. Often times though, we have no control over that

You: mhm there is suffering in a lot of places, and violence that arises from suffering and hatred

Stranger: Look at the Nazis and the hatred of the Jews. That was extremely common all across Europe, the uk and the us. Many leaders in politics and business liked the Nazis initially. But just because something is common, does not make it right

You: I actually never understood antisemitism

Stranger: You are quite wise, and I agree with you. But the sad thing is, there will always be suffering

You: or why people hate(d) jewish people

Stranger: The scary thing is, many of those in BLM look up to a man called Farrakhan (forgive me on the spelling) who is a huge antisemite. Like he openly calls for violence against them. He gets away with it, because he is black. Why he hates them I don't know. They are hated I think, because they are the oldest abrahamic religion and the oldest monothesist one as well, from which both Islam and Christianity draw their teachings from initially

You: I just don't understand why they are hated

You: often by christians too

Stranger: Me neither, I find it abhorrent. They have been persecuted for thousands of years

You: yeah idk I just don't understand why

Stranger: I have yet to find out why. I know in Islam they hate them as it is dictated within their scriptures, though the exact wording I am unsure on. Christians I would think it's because they don't believe that Jesus was the son of God

You: I guess so

Stranger: But I may be entirely wrong

Stranger: Which I probably am

You: idk I don't know anything so I have no clue

Stranger: Hence why I like and want discussion :) we learn more through communication

Stranger: We become better the more we communicate

You: is there a reason why you dislike blm so much?

Stranger: I stand against identitarianism

You: so basically all those "pride" movements?

Stranger: I come from a racist country that segregated everyone and everything based on the colour of everyone's skin and I was hated for being the colour of my skin just for being born. I cannot condone movements that wish to implement the same things, as it will lead to suffering and hatred.

Stranger: I have nothing against being proud of your race, though I think the idea is a bit stupid. I have an issue with everything needing to divided up based on the colour of ones skin, I choose to judge someone on the basis of their character. I'm not perfect and there are times where I have been prejudiced but it is something I am consious of and wish to not do

You: mhm okay

You: I'm not sure if blm wants things to be divided up based on race though

You: I thought they were mostly against police brutality

Stranger: Some very much so are. Though I will concede that not all of them are, and I should tar everyone with the same brush. But as a counter to that, look at CHAZ in Seattle, they have segregated farms though calling them that is hilarious

You: I thought chaz is just a city block?

Stranger: On the police brutality, I agree with them and that reform must happen. Abolishing police is not a good idea. More funding is required, better training and better internal policies and structures to vette and review the officers is needed. Abolishing them will lead to anarchy. You are correct that Chaz is, but it is a microcosm showing the very things I stand against. I am against racism of all kinds, segregation is a form of racism. The us had a history where they did it too and agreed that it was wrong

You: mhm

You: I just wasn't familiar with blm as pro-segregation

You: that said, most blm activists are just really young

Stranger: They have been co-opted by those who are. And many activists are young white kids

You: I don't think mainstream democrats take them very seriously

Stranger: I'm not so certain. But I hope I am wrong

You: idk I mean these days who knows what kind media we each read

You: so I'm sure I'm in a bubble too

Stranger: They may see these things as a good and helpful idea, but the road to hell is often paved with good intentions

Stranger: Of course, and I hope I'm wrong. I recommend a variety of news sources, especially independent ones. A great one is a guy named Tim Pool on YouTube. He is a left leaning centrist guy who is upfront with his leanings. But he gives the news as it is

You: mhm I try to avoid youtube news

You: although idk if it's truly reliable to always go through bbc or ap or others

You: they are just mainstream

Stranger: BBC is very biased in my opinion. Tim used to work on mainstream media but he left. I would call him credible, he looks at news sources and verifies them. He's very milk toast and fence sits allot the problem with news is that all sides want to spin things the way they want it

You: mhm okay

You: is there any kind of mainstream media that you like?

Stranger: I don't trust any of them when it comes to almost anything except weather and sport scores. I will listen to what is said from various sources before coming to my own conclusions. I have lost all faith in the media since 2016

You: I see, I guess it ends up being hard to find something to trust

Stranger: Unfortunately it is. My reasons for it was both the elections in the us for 2016 and the brexit vote here in the uk. I was very similar to you then, very much so a hippie and very left leaning. I disagreed with Trump and Brexit, but I lost. But the way the media and society within the left handled themselves and the situation, that put me off completely and pushed me to become more conservative than what I was

You: interesting, although I'm not exactly following what made you more interested in conservative things

Stranger: The constant denigration of those who you disagree with. The treatment hat those people got, most of whom are the working class, upon the backs of which society is upheld. They are not racist or evil. They have a different opinion and different values. How does making a choice in a democracy make someone evil when neither side is perfect?

Stranger: The left preaches tolerance, except that it doesnt in reality

You: mhm yeah I don't like that

You: I don't think it is effective either

Stranger: All it does is polarize people

Stranger: And drive them further away from reaching g a compromise

You: right

Stranger: Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with Brexit, but as a democracy we made a decision. So now we need to exact that decision. I would have voted for trump despite my disdain for him

Stranger: Enact not exact*

You: I think there are a lot of people who think similarly as you do ^^

Stranger: There really are

Stranger: The left has become absorbed by identity politics and is obsessed with race.. it scares me that they will create more racists than before they started

Stranger: Constantly calling your opposition racist and evil will force them into being it

You: mhm I think there are some things to distinguish between social media left-wing people and people in everyday life I think

You: the vitriol is always much more amplified online than people are irl

Stranger: Oh agreed! Twitter is not real life, but it has started to bleed over

You: I live in a fairly liberal state, although I don't really think I have ever seen twitter irl

You: although I do think there is probably self-censorship occuring

You: in the sense that people are afraid of what their neighbors will think

Stranger: There is allot of that

Stranger: Anything you say will be used against you. Even if it's not that controversial

Stranger: People have lost their jobs for an opinion not done at work

You: that said, I don't think that's per say the "left's" fault though -- I just think that public opinion has shifted dramatically in the last 10 years

Stranger: Or how about the man who lost his job because his wife said something controversial

Stranger: I agree with you

Stranger: I really do

Stranger: Allot of this I do think could have been stopped years ago

You: I don't really like the lynch firing of people

You: that companies do for their public image

You: because the truth doesn't matter

You: it's just public image

Stranger: They do so because they are scared of the mob

You: but at the same time, I think public image is a thing because majority opinion really has shifted in the past two decades

You: opinions on homosexuality have swung dramatically in the US

You: ten years ago it was totally okay in public to be anti-homosexual

Stranger: Obama was against gay marriage until it was politically important for him to win the next election

You: but public opinion I think has swung really fast

You: yeah

You: I think he swapped at the first poll that showed >50% of americans supported it

Stranger: Yep! I find it hilarious that that was the case

You: yes but I think conservatives find this kind of fast change extremely uncomforting

You: I can understand that sentiment

You: also isn't it getting kinda late for you? ^^

Stranger: Conservatives are by their very nature are conservative. Change is neither malevolent nor benevolent, but we cannot look at change as universally good. Not can we disregard tradition

Stranger: It's 3 am and I can still keep going, I'm enjoying this conversation :)

You: I need to do the dishes eventually lol

Stranger: If you wish to leave you can by all means :) I won't hate you for it

You: I'm fine either way tbh

You: are you working right now? if you have work tomorrow you should prob go to bed

Stranger: It's up to you :) I can go for ages though my coherence Kay descend

Stranger: I'm sadly unemployed at the moment having lost my job earlier this year

You: coronavirus?

Stranger: Sadly yes

You: that's unfortunate, I'm sorry

Stranger: Not your fault :) so don't stress

You: so aside from Russia and China and the decline of western things, is there anything else that you stress about lol?

Stranger: The drive of censorship

Stranger: I have serious issue with censory

You: mhm

Stranger: And yourself?

You: mhm I dunno really

Stranger: That's good, though I would urge you to become concerned with censorship

You: mhm maybe

You: for me it's sort of a contextual concern I think

You: in the sense that it depends on your vantage point

Stranger: Opinions, art and books doesn't matter. Today it is their voice, tomorrow it is my voice. The day after it becomes your voice. Censorship takes away their rights to speak, and your rights to listen

You: mhm, what I mean is that my family immigrated from China

You: so my reference point of censorship is literal government censorship

You: in comparison the "political correctness" thing just doesn't seem as big to me imo

You: because 90% of it to me is sort of like a person's relationship with the neighbor basically

You: the US government doesn't censor what you can publish essentially

Stranger: That's fair enough, but this is where it starts. Things take time, and if anyone gives in (such as they have in several cases) that builds. In time that becomes the norm, there after what gets censored will not be at the choice of the people but of those who are in power

You: perhaps, although I kind of have faith in the 1st ammendment and the US supreme court

You: we barely have libel laws or defamation laws in the US because of the 1st ammendment

Stranger: I have seen calls to change and amend it. In the uk we have no freedom of speech, people have been arrested for jokes, what's been said on Twitter, etc. There are those who say that it's ok to censor this and that because e they are problematic or it would be good for everyone. But that is how it starts. The US has so much freedom

You: ahh... yeah I feel like it is different in the uk

Stranger: The uk doesn't care for free speech. It's very worrying and there are calls for even more censorship here.

You: mhm that sounds worrisome

Stranger: I guess I project it across to all western countries, and that is something we have seen recently

You: I don't think the US will lose the 1st amendment anytime soon, it's not politically realistiic

Stranger: Look at Amazon censoring books and movies being removed etc, this is how this begins. If it is allowed now, how can we stop it in the future

You: idk the status of free speech in other countries

You: actually this is a very interesting topic

Stranger: The us is one of the only countries that has it

You: do you think freedom of speech should be protected in private spaces?

Stranger: Codified in law that is

You: because technically freedom of speech for us is supposed to be only related to public government relationships

Stranger: I believe it should always be be protected

You: specifically "congress will make no law restricting freedom of speech" (paraphrased)

You: so you believe that private companies should not control what is said on their premises?

You: I mean it's fine if you believe that, it's actually just a bit further than what the current status quo is

Stranger: Yes. They are not above the law. Society may shun them, but they should not become involved. Outright calls for violence are against the law and that should be honoured, outside of that no they should not impose on pthers

You: hmm in the US this is where things get super complicated

You: because conservatives are also the ones who want content restricted/said in their religious schools too

Stranger: I've noticed.. and that has an effect on the rest of the world

You: basically "freedom of religion" and "freedom of speech" being on the same political side here makes things very weird

Stranger: And yeah I am aware of that as well, though the pendulum seems to have swung to the other side now. And it will swing back to the other side again

You: kind of like "My store should have the freedom of religion to deny my patrons of being homosexual in my store" kinda thing

Stranger: Yeah it is hard but there is more to the opposite side than just the one thing

You: it's a weird convoluted thing when both are conservative issues

Stranger: That's a difficult one, but I would say that should be discussed and debated but the highest courts. I cannot say from a legal sense one way or the other, morally I can say that it's hard to decide. I think that everyone should get a choice but I am uncertain

Stranger: By not but*

You: mhm that's fine ^^

You: I just think it's very interesting because most laws here, they govern the relationship between between the government and the people

You: so our freedom of speech laws do not apply to amazon censoring books because they are a private company

Stranger: Which is the difficult thing

Stranger: They are protected by being a private company

Stranger: As it's not just them

You: maybe ^^ we have a free market though, so things that cannot be published on amazon will find an outlet elsewhere

You: provided there is a demand for it

You: that said, it also has some gray area with morality laws

Stranger: That is true but monopoloes make things harder to find

You: kind of like youtube banning pornographic content

Stranger: Yeah I can understand that morally, legally I don't know but I would assume that there is some laws regarding that

You: I mean I'm just used to many various sites having bans of various sorts

Stranger: The uk has some

Stranger: Yeah, but there are protections for them being platforms not publishers

You: I don't think there is any law forcing youtube to ban pornographic content; it's just a branding choice by the company

Stranger: If they are publishers, those protections don't apply

You: like I think they want to be seen as family-friendly

Stranger: Fair enough, would have thought there might be

You: porn sites are not illegal in the US lol

Stranger: Not family friendly, advertisement friendly

You: lol true

Stranger: Sorry I don't know enough to be able to say :) I'm happy to admit that

You: mhm aside from political correctness, I guess I just don't personally see a big problem with censorship in the US

You: although I think I have a different belief than you that I think it's okay for private companies to choose what they want to publish

You: even if the ban content

You: these companies still need to compete

Stranger: Them doing so is fine, but if they wish to be protected as platforms they cannot act as a publisher. I think that's the Crux of their protections

Stranger: It is something that has been going for a while though

Stranger: And I think Trump will have it in his campaign for reelection this year

You: okay ^^

Stranger: But I don't know, he has been interested in censorship and has said he is against it in the past

You: I think people mean different things by censorship

You: but that's just imo

You: there are almost no western countries that experience censorship by their governments

You: so people mean things like censorship at their workplace

You: although imo that's kind of less censorship and more on the political correctness spectrum

Stranger: True. That is very true. But if you don't stop censorship openly, then should it come from government you don't already know you can stand against it

You: but to me, that "political correctness" isn't anything new either; it's as old as time

You: like did we always worry about saying something that would offend our boss?

You: ^^

You: it's always been there

You: I just think people are uncomfortable because bosses have changed in the last few decades

Stranger: It's not just their work place. The new "town square" is has become online. Your freedoms online are not protected despite it being codified in law

Stranger: And you aren't wrong, and coming from China or at least your family, you bring an interesting perspective

You: I feel like in the US we have very little digital legislation

You: the US of is head of hear

You: *there

Stranger: The world needs a digital bill of rights, to protect us all and our data. But we won't get it

You: but I don't think we have anything guaranteeing that speech on the Internet is free by any regard

Stranger: I would argue we do

You: hm? which law?

You: I like most websites have ToS's and rules banning X Y or Z on their site

Stranger: Freedom of speech and expression

You: oh I mean in terms of law

Stranger: That is what I meant, so that we are free to speak and express ourselves. I also believe that our data should be private and cannot be sold and that should be protected. There are other things that I have heard but it's difficult to remember all those that were proposed

You: ahh

You: yeah we don't have those laws right now

Stranger: Today stuff is okay but you are not protected

You: although the EU has some privacy ones that we don't have in the US

Stranger: The EU doesn't care mostly

Stranger: Some laws only protect some information, I'm talking about all of our information

You: ^^

Stranger: Everything we post and do is tracked, monitored and sold

Stranger: We revel in it, "I was talking about cats/dogs and all of a sudden I got adds for cat/dog products"

Stranger: We hear that often

You: yup

Stranger: Also, with regards to our rights and things, who holds these companies accountable?

Stranger: Take google for example

Stranger: They have been caught tampering with the elections

You: well, again, we have basically no laws about this in the US so there is no accountability

Stranger: They openly censor news and opinions

Stranger: They are a monopoly

You: although some europrean countries have lawsuits whatever with them

You: yup they totally are

You: where are anti-trust laws lol?

Stranger: That's what I think Trump will be looking at, I would if I was in his shoes

Stranger: But they were given special protections

Stranger: Those need to be taken away, the large companies need to be broken up but governments are incompetent

Stranger: I don't trust them to do it well

You: mhm it actually reminds me of south korea actually

Stranger: I mean there are a few senators in the states that I think have the moral fortitude to do so, but I don't know

You: countries are loathe to break up companies that they're proud of basically

Stranger: Yep

You: like samsung in south korea lol?

Stranger: They wouldn't break them up

Stranger: It would do serious damage to the economy and blah blah blah

You: their revenue was like 20% of the entire country's gdp

Stranger: Yep it's a difficult argument

Stranger: And I can understand why you wouldnt

Stranger: That 20% could drop to below 1%

You: anyhow it is getting kind of late

You: it was nice talking to you

You: and you should sleep ^^

Stranger: Likewise! :) I needed to move my sleep schedule for a 24 hour race on the weekend anyway, sp thank you for occuping my time and mind :)

You: goodnight!

Stranger: I'm glad to have met another willing to talk, take care my good friend

You have disconnected.

[project-ces-sds-blog]

“SOW DON’T SING”-Beta Reads First Draft Impressions Reflection Paper

First draft reflection paper HERE.

Last Thursday I received my feedback for the first draft of “Sow Don’t Sing,” so today’s reflection paper will be in accordance to organizing my thoughts on what has been said about it and how I’ll move forward with the second rewrite.

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE STORY DISCUSSED BELOW!

I’m still pretty stunned how the feedback overall has been mostly positive. I’ve never considered myself an adequate writer because of some hiccups and negative experiences back in elementary school where my enthusiasm for writing was squashed...so this is really great for me to know that I have some footing.

She also said she “can’t wait to see where this project will end up??” and that I “could send her the next drafts of the scripts in full so that she could read the whole thing comprehensively??” Cries??? I’m so thankful for her support.

My prof who did the read likes to repeatedly mention that I have “an ear for natural dialogue” (for the most part) and that I’ve “clearly got something here,” which is the greatest thing I can hear right now since the role of the binders is ground zero for spit-balling ideas and accumulating the ones that seems to stick.

How well some parts in the script operate is directly proportionate to how much material has been tinkered/stored in the design works binders...good to know, since I’d be doing something REALLY wrong if the more I do, the worse it gets. Guess I’ll continue to hammer away in this particular writing process I’ve composed for myself. 

With the way things are turning out, I might only really be able to submit this script to screenwriting contests at the earliest in Fall 2019...I really hope it would be earlier or around this estimated time.

I sometimes forget about the roots of my influences of this story. It surprises me that my professor really wants to bolster the whole “Ole Lukøje” concept more in the film...I kinda held back since I was certain the idea was really, really stupid? Especially in practice lmao?? But I guess in context of the story it operated rather well...To think something I slapped on for trailer fodder became coherent...wow.

That said, I must not forget about my roots of influence. The better ideas here came directly from anime lol... (Bungaku Shoujo, Detective Conan, and Haibane Renmei, anything Yamada Naoko directs, are all subtly, but directly influenced in this mess--just not in the way you’d think.)

APPARENTLY THE BEST SCENE I WROTE IN THIS THING IS THE SEX SCENE???? THAT’S PROBABLY THE STRONGEST PART??? LMAO HOW DID I END UP HERE???

Probably the most profound question my prof asked me was “what kind of story are you trying to tell?” and that “I should have that question posted on a sticky note and slap it on my PC as I write.” This was less negative criticism, and more of a response towards my asking of her on “whether or not Ramon should live in the end.” However it’s good to reflect on that since for a hot second when I honestly blanked out and forgot at the time she asked. 

I remember now though--this story is my life and how I view the world personally. But I must not forget my transition between thinking “like a child” and thinking “like an adult.” It started with a dream I had, where I was among dilapidated ruins of a cityscape--with the dust and acrid smell of chipped concrete filled the air--but the clouds above emitted a strong but gentle, golden light onto the gray from down below. That very specific feeling of listlessness is what I wish to properly convey. I’m creating a story that just drips and oozes with that emotion--painful, but poignant and glimmering with a golden sheen but the very end. I should never forget that.

A similar body of work that had deeply influenced the emotional confine of this project would have to be @rapparu33​ ‘s film “カナメヲ,” which they have mentioned on twitter that it was an idea stemmed from a dream. I’m glad to be on a similar path here. 

Okay, so goals for the second draft:

I’ve been told that the first couple of pages are rapid-firing information that is difficult to grasp all at once which was the intended purpose haha since I’ve heard that “if you don’t impress on the first page script readers will throw it out.” My prof complimented me on listening to that but gave me the relief that for the purposes of this story, I won’t have to do that. (Thank God.)

I’ll be able to slow down the start and give more time for the audience to chew on Ondine and Camille.

I didn’t realize that I was caught up in the fascination with Bentley because of novelty. Since he’s technically the newest addition to the cast and the last to be added to this ensemble, I was just distracted by how shiny and new he was. Now that he’s taken time to simmer in my head, I can think about him a lot more prospectively.

My prof said his dialogue is probably the weakest/clunkiest part of the army segment and that “he spiels like every self-help book I’ve ever read, ever.” That hit it hard on the nail--that is exactly what I did. I tried very hard to write this sort of “infallible mentor figure” but since I’ve never had that sort of figure in my life, it was very hard to write. I ended up writing what I wanted to hear instead of something more genuine. 

I need to make a list of diction....

Bentley will now take a different turn in this second rewrite in the hopes of him coming off more organic--and I’ve figured out how. I’ll have to write his backstory and just focus on him and Susan before I can attempt to rewrite his bits.

Bentley and Luca will now hug in the story because I am Satan.

Jimmy and Luca will also hug to balance them out because I am still Satan.

Speaking of Jimmy, I want to give more focus on their friendship--so I hope I’ll be able to add in more characterization--hopefully to also mention that Luca played violin for a time.

Ramon will indeed live in this draft since I have found a way to alleviate some of the burden of Isidore’s role around the ending.

Ramon will also spit less fire this time around, and will visually drop his affections towards Nelson more.

As I’ve tinkered with Ramon, Virgil ended up being much more fleshed out than I could have ever anticipated despite being a one-note character. Dang. Go me.

I somehow added a third instance where Luca tries to kill himself. Go me again, lol.

Wondering if a fake-out kiss between Luca and Nelson is possible...lol...

I’ll really have to focus that around the end it’s less about Luca “embracing his darkness” and more along the lines of “accepting a suicide mission where he will die as Ole Lukøje and not as Luca Russo.

Luca lost in his reverie when he speaks to a wounded but alive Ramon at the end is probably my newest favorite scene since the visuals are a la Haibane Renmei (hello Reki) so I can’t wait to sketch it out and really explore that idea. It also a reference to that one scene in Breaking Bad’s “The Fly,” I guess. At least, that’s what I’m going for. 

Also wondering whether or not Luca will be killed off this time around. The ending where he lives is giving me trouble, and it’d be easier to kill him off. As much as possible...I want a happy ending. It’ll be quite a ways away before I can accomplish that, though.

I feel that the more I start to focus on “Cogito Ergo Sum,” the better off “Sow Don’t Sing” will also eventually be. At this point in time however, I’m very intimidated about Project-CES, but hopefully I can forgo that fear in the nearest future. 

[allimariexf]

alli’s Arrow 1x01 rewatch thoughts

Opening sequence: I always think about my first viewing of this show. The pilot starts out with a bang, and it’s just intriguing and action-packed and mysterious and interesting. At the time I first started watching Arrow, that’s exactly what I was looking for: something interesting and attention-grabbing, but not necessarily good quality. I wasn’t expecting excellent character development, fantastic acting, or even particularly well-plotted story. I most definitely wasn’t expecting one of the greatest ships of all time. But as I started to watch this first episode for the first time, my initial expectations changed dramatically. I realized I was going to be pleasantly surprised.

On voiceovers and context-setting: yeah, I understand why voiceovers were necessary the first few episodes, but I’m glad that they got phased out so quickly. Also, he’s totally lying in his first voiceover. Voiceovers are always strange in non-confessional shows because you always wonder: who’s he talking to? I mean I get that they’re setting up the story with the voiceovers, and it’s a solid choice, but it’s still just an awkward storytelling kinda thing. I love the “news clip” storytelling method much better. It works particularly well for this character (because he’s already a tabloid-famous billionaire who disappeared/died), and I love how, throughout the whole series, the news stories give a unique depth to the characters. Not only do we get to see them through each other’s eyes, and our own eyes, but, because they’re famous, we get to see them through the eyes of fame and infamy, which is just interesting as a fan.

Random: young Moira! She looks so great. Lost! doctor! There’s an Oliver Queen character study fanvid that is basically my favorite thing ever and I recommend you ALL WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN’T: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YMTJZFslsU&t=0s&list=PLho1lhjzsqc78WersS7U49_QI92xL1yVi&index=2

mooooore below the cut!

Moira and Oliver: first hint that (as I always tell people) ARROW IS A SHOW ABOUT FAMILY!

Thea: Having watched all of Thea’s growth, and the fact that she’s gone now, this scene just...wahh. Kinda want to cry a little.

Laurel: there was so much Laurel in season 1. I miss her old chin. Is that rude? Lol

Sara: aww the old Sara. I wonder what made them decide to replace her with Caity Lotz.

Tommy: note to self: check later flashback episodes to see if Tommy actually did say “Yachts suck” before Oliver went on the boat. Also, the Lost reference was a very good initial indication that this show was very self aware and thoughtful. (Also, later: Lance’s “I’ll put out an APB on...Robin Hood.”) Related: this show does a great job using cultural references as a way to connect to the audience. (And of course The Flash and the other Arrowverse shows do that so well, too….)

Season 1 Oliver in a well-fitting (grey) t-shirt. Yes pls. And pullover. Mm.

Flashbacks, kidnapping scene, Laurel scene: damn, this pilot is so good. It does an excellent job setting the aesthetic, the characters, the plot, and the storytelling techniques of the whole show. (Which yeah, in many ways they kind of get away from in later seasons, but mostly it all stays consistent.)

Lance! (side note: isn’t it convenient how Lance is basically The Policeman in basically every situation? lol). I loooove this Lance scene. God Paul Blackthorne. What did we ever do to deserve you?

Raisa: now I’m wondering, at what point during the 6 years of the show did Raisa figure out that Oliver was the Arrow? I’m thinking it was well before season 6 - maybe even as early as season 1. (I mean I know we don’t see her in most of the seasons, but she’s obviously “out there” and still somewhat in touch with Oliver.)

DIGGLE!!!!!! And the first DiggleDitch!

Oliver-setting-up-the-ArrowCave montage: Somehow I always forget about this, but I’m glad it exists. It actually does a good job setting an expectation for a certain level of realism. And honestly Arrow’s “realism” (for a comic, let’s be honest) has always been majorly appealing to me. I mean I love The Flash and even LoT and stuff, but just not in the same way. Never in the same way.

I’ve always been impressed at the way Arrow can make all the characters relevant both to each other (relationships and shared history) and as individually relevant to the plot. Honestly, making that seem so effortless is one of the keys to why this show (and especially seasons 1 and 2) are sooo good.

Dialog: So snappy! Seriously this pilot is so good, and I’m so glad because every line of dialog sets a precedent for each character that honestly remains so true for each character.

Tommy’s estimate on how long it’s been since Oliver had sex: SO WRONG LOL

Oliver and Laurel: yep, no chemistry. xD The way she walks up to him real close (“You know what, Oliver…?”), clearly they were trying to show some angsty ust, but it totally falls flat.

The Vigilante’s first heist: but how DID he do that tech thing? Where did he learn THOSE skills? A.R.G.U.S.? Honestly I’m at a loss.

Oliver’s dad shooting himself in the head: but whyyy didn’t he just fill Oliver in on more before killing himself?

@jules85 @blondeeoneexox @hope-for-olicity

[discoursecatharsis]

I'm gonna try to stay as vague as possible because idk how many people on here go on Twitter but there is one y01 account I had to unfollow. While they have done some considerable things for the fandom, their attitude when it comes to merch leaves a bad taste on my mouth. I remember seeing a tweet of their's saying how mad they were about not having a Vic///tor cut out stand and then asked around if they could borrow someone's for the day. Then the incident at An1meFest happened where (1/?)

I know exactly who you’re talking about, but I don’t think it’s entirely fair to blame them for that stuff. 

First the short answer: 

The autograph incident at AF was AF’s fault, and no one else’s. And the “not getting buttons” with the LE bluray is Fun1mation’s fault because I wouldn’t be surprised if they took way more pre-orders than they could handle/guarantee. 

Now the long answer:

I was there at AF myself and can tell you first hand, the autograph sessions were, to be frank, a clusterfuck. And I just want to shine some light on exactly what went down.

Kub0, Say0, and H1ramatsu signed autographs all 4 days of the con. I didn’t get an autograph either. I only went the first two days and the line cut off mere people ahead of me both days despite me getting there early. I think even the people who were ahead of me in the “guaranteed” section didn’t get their autographs because the crew was on a tight schedule and I’m certain they didn’t have time to get to everyone (I didn’t stick around to watch once they told me I had zero chance of getting an autograph, I left to go get in line for the panel instead). 

AF grossly under-estimated the crowd. Attendance was huge. They only had a 1-hour long signing session each day. Additionally, the y0i staff, bless their heats, were taking the time to draw a doodle on each and every autograph and actually speak to every person who was lucky enough to get an autograph. So they were spending at least ~2-3 minutes on each person’s autograph, then you factor in they only had an hour per signing… obviously a lot of people got left out. They even stayed over, passed their autograph time for some extra minutes, to get to as many people as possible, and a ton of people still got left out.

It was physically impossible for all the hundreds, if not thousands, of y0i fans attending to get autographs. 

The twitter person you’re talking about got autographs twice, on the Thursday and Friday of the con. They got backlash for it, apologized, and said they wouldn’t attempt to get any more autographs the rest of the weekend (and they kept that promise). While I personally wasn’t there the Saturday and Sunday, I heard from friends that the autograph sessions were once again still a mess, even with this person in question not being there. 

So honestly whether people went for seconds or not, a lot of people would’ve never gotten an autograph. It would’ve barely made a difference, like maybe 4 extra people would’ve gotten lucky.

If memory serves, the person did give away a big something to make up for autographs thing. But, even before day 1 at the con, even before the autograph incident, they were giving away small items just for fun. They had a bag of y0i merch, and basically said “hey if you find me at the con and answer a FS trivia question, you can pull a item from the bag!” In my opinion, that was really kind of them. They were doing something nice for the fans even before the autograph debacle.

And that’s just the autograph sessions, don’t get me started on how poorly AF handled the y0i panels. People were disappointed for a lot of reasons, and there’s no one to blame but AF. 

As for this person getting multiple copies of the LE bluray, my understanding is that they’re a proxy. idk if that’s the proper term for what they do, but they act as a liaison for Western fans who want Japanese merch, and for Japanese fans who want Western merch. They probably got those bluray for their customers back in Japan. I’m sure lots of other people who act as proxies pre-ordered the bluray in bulk as well, so it’s not really fair to blame this one individual for doing a job essentially, when lots of people do the same thing.

I heard a lot of people didn’t get the button. And honestly, that’s Fun1mation’s fault. I bet they took more pre-orders than they had in their initial stock. Even now, they still have a “*while supplies last” note about the button on their order page, when that’s obviously not the case any more lol. 

But idk how they dictated which orders got a button and which didn’t. I got my button so I don’t understand how you didn’t get yours, but I’m sorry you didn’t get it. :\ Blame Fun1mation for that though, they must’ve done something wrong in the order process

[eloarei]

As copy-pasted from that one BNHA ask meme: ALL my answers, since @oldseablues suggested I do that.  Under a cut because it’s long.

BNHA Ask Meme™ Reblog this if you want your followers to send you one of these:

~ B A S I C S ~

1: What part of the anime/manga piqued your interest? Like, what did I see that made me want to watch it? TBH I don't know! I guess it was All Might lol. I just saw that a bunch of people on my dashboard were talking about it and about him and I was like "Okay, I'll watch it." (A few people IRL had reccommended it to me before but I was like 'eh'.)

2: Did you think Midoriya would be a good protagonist in the first few chapters/episodes? Answered before. I think the gist of it was that I thought he was gonna be fine, I just didn't know if the story was gonna be any good.

3: How do you think Midoriya’s conflict with Bakugou will end? Honestly I think it'll turn out fine. I mean, I think that they'll repair their friendship (if you can even call it that). I think Izuku has to stop focusing on Bakugou and Bakugo has to start respecting Izuku. I think it'll happen just fine as they grow into themselves. I would be surprised if they didn't repair their relationship, just based on common shounen tropes.

4: What was your first reaction to Bakugou’s treatment towards Midoriya? First reaction? Hmm, let me see if I can remember. I guess I didn't think about it much because I wasn't sure he was going to be an important character. But when I realized he was... I guess I was just surprised that Izuku put up with it all that time. Of course it could be because of his lack of confidence, but I guess I see it more as him having faith in Kacchan actually being worth maintaining a friendship with, despite the bullying? He's too sweet for his own good ^^;;

5: What do you think of All-Might as a hero? Pfft, well he's great, obviously! Isn't that like... the one thing you're supposed to know when you start the series? "The sky is blue. All Might is great." He's a good guy. He does what he can and he does it well.

6: Do you think that Midoriya deserved to get OFA? Of course. He's clever and determined and passionate and kind. Who else would have been that appropriate?

7: Aside from Midoriya, which character in the series do you think has had the most character development? I'm gonna SKIP this one, since I'm still only a lowly Season 2 graduate. I haven't seen enough change in any of the characters to say.

8: Favorite unpopular character? Honestly? Mineta. I know everyone hates him, but I like him for the same reasons. Yes, he's dumb and sleazy, but I think he acts as a sort of balance, and it's good to have a character that occupies peoples' soft-hatred but isn't a villain. Not every 'good guy' is unproblematic, and I think he has the greatest capacity for growth because he's starting so low on the likeability chart. XD

9: Favorite overall character? I mean, that's an easy tie between Izuku and All Might. Obviously. If I had to pick someone else though... Tsuyu. She's precious. Or Ochaco. She's also precious. Or Iida, who is (surprise) also damn precious.

10: Do you have any OC’s? Describe them! If you don’t, create one on the spot. Create one? Yeesh. Uh. Okay, I'll port some original OCs over. Addisson: chivalrous lesbian hero, dresses like a knight. She conjures 'light-weapony' (or other items; made of light/air/whatever, they function as intended until she lets go of them. Only for melee weapons though, not projectiles unfortunately.)

~ S H I P S ~

Pink: What are your main/favorite ships? As surprises nobody: Dekumight, for sure. But side ships? Erasermic, and anything involving Ochaco. (Roughly in order: Ocha/Iida, Ocha/Bakugo, Ocha/anyone else. Oh! Never seen it before, but how about Ochaco/Gunhead?!)

Blue: Do you have any NOTPs? By principal, no. I don't do NOTPs. But if you're asking which ships I just don't really like or don't really get, the winner would have to be TodoDeku. It's very popular? but it just doesn't pique my interest at all.

Yellow: Favorite fanfiction about your OTP? Ooh man, it's only on chapter 2 ATM but @thenightisdarkandfullofbooty’s "Fettered" is really really great so far! Other than that, I don't generally recc explicit fics, but Motte-Gwappo and Jabor pretty well cornered the market with good E-rated oneshots.

Green: Any preferred rarepairs? Ahah yeah, I main a rarepair. And from what I understand, pretty much everything that doesn't include Todoroki or Bakugou is a rarepair, so... uh huh.

Purple: Do you have any works centered around your OTP? HELL YEAH. Anyone who's reading this probably knows. I've got 11 posted Dekumight fics so far, and *counts* 4? WIPs? and... uh... roughly 30+ more ideas? *sweats*

Orange: Fluff or Angst? Good lord I love both, but if you're gonna angst me, PLEASE give me a happy ending.

Red: What do you like the most about your favorite ship? Aaaaaaahhh gosh. Everything. *sighs dreamily* Did you see me the other day, comparing them to freaking Christian worship music? Gawd. They have SUCH a great dynamic, and it's one that has a lot of potential for shifting in various ways too. I guess what I really love most about them is how genuinely devoted to each other they are. Shipped or not, they really love each other! It's so wonderful. =]

Turqoise: What do you hate about your favorite ship? Alright now this is silly question. Why have an OTP if you don't just adore every fiber of their being? In the case of Dekumight, despite what I think a lot of other people would think, I don't even hate the things that make it a controversial pairing. I don't hate that Izuku is underage, and that there's a fairly massive age gap between them, and that there's a 'power imbalance' between them, because that all adds to their dynamic. It makes them very interesting. I don't wish that Izuku was older. I mean, I've written that fic, and I think they're still interesting together, but honestly, the fact that they at least met when Izuku was young is pretty important to their dynamic and-- *goes on forever and ever* ADDENDUM: One thing I do hate is that the majority of the fandom can't (or isn't interested in even trying to) see how goshdarn much sense the ship makes.

Lavender: Does your ship get a lot of hate? If so, why? Hahahaha yes. I don't pay a lot of attention to the fandom at large, but I'm fairly certain it's the most hated ship in the fandom? And it's the only ship I've ever gotten hate over! (Wonderful. Wish I'd get more. It'd be a good outlet for my blabbering haha) I understand /why/ it gets hate though. It's underage. It's frequently read as a father-son relationship. Oh, and it interferes with other popular ships, of course.

Grey: Realistically speaking, will your ship ever become canon? I guess there's a remote chance. Like, top of Mt. Everest remote. haha wouldn't that just fuck with people. Naw, look, I'm fully accepting of the fact that there are at least 5 other drastically-more-likely options, which are, in approximate order of likeliness: 1. Izuku/Ochaco, 2. Izuku/nobody, 3.Izuku/another girl, 4.Izuku/Bakugou, 5.Izuku/another guy. I give Dekumight a .01% chance haha and I think that's a liberal estimate. XD; BUT! I would be more than happy for there to be at least a throwaway line somewhere about Izuku having (or having had) a crush on All Might at some point, and I give that a very generous 5% chance of happening haha.

~ T H E O R I E S ~

Pop: Do you think the “Dabi and Shouto are brothers” theory is true? Don't know who the hell Dabi is.

Indie: Opinions on the Traitor Kaminari theory? Never heard it. Sounds implausible.

Punk: Opinions on the Traitor Kirishima theory? Never heard it. Don't like it.

Rock: What do you think of the “The doctor from Midoriya’s childhood is affiliated with the League Of Villains” theory? (in reference to this post) I mean... sure?? I didn't read the post, but I have no strong opinions on theories.

Jazz: What do you think will happen now that Eri has been saved? Honestly, I only know Eri through fanfic, so I'm gonna say, "No clue, my dude."

~ S T U D E N T S ~

11: Dekusquad or Bakusquad? Porque no los dos? But Dekusquad.

12: Most underrated student? Hagakure. That's the invisible girl, right? That's quite a power!

13: Dadmight or Dadzawa? Porque no los dos? But my ship dictates I vote Dadzawa. Honestly though, they could both BE dads; there's no one way to be a dad. All Might makes me think a little more of an uncle. Aizawa strikes me as more dad-like from my own experience, but they're both supportive in their different ways. I know, let's be contrarian and say "DadMic" =P HE'S the one that reminds me of several of my allo-dads.

14: Whose quirk do you think is the most unique? I think I said Tokoyami when I answered this before. I can't think of a better answer right now, so let's just go with that again.

15: Aside from Midoriya, who do you think has the most potential to be #1 Hero? I guess Todoroki.

16: Should Mineta be replaced by Shinsou in the hero class? Porque no los dos? If you get rid of Mineta, there's gotta be someone else for everyone to hate. Just shove another desk in there and have them both. Make them share, I dunno.

17: Favorite student(s) outside of Class 1-A? Hatsume Mei!

18: Any HCs for the entirety of Class 1-A? Headcanons for the whole class? Is that a thing? I guess I HC that they all genuinely love Izuku and are encouraged by his attitude. =]

19: Do you remember their seating arrangement by heart? lol heck no. I think I have an idea of where a few of the characters sit? But honestly, I blasted through the series once and haven't looked back on it yet, so I haven't had time for memorization.

20: Which of the students do you think has the most potential to become a villain? Gosh. Any of them could. I mean, being a villain instead of a hero is so based on circumstance. If things go wrong, any of them could go that way.

~  V I L L A I N S ~

Techno: Favorite villain? Stain. Not interested in any of the others just yet.

Classical: Eight Precepts of Death or League of Villains? what.

Metal: Which villain’s quirk would you want for yourself? I don't?

Soul: Shigaraki or Chisaki? Who?

Alternative: Most obnoxious villain? Shigaraki.

~  M I S C ~

Apple: Favorite popular HC? I haven't the slightest clue what's popular, but I'll reiterate my own personal headcanon: Izuku has or has had a huge pre-teen crush on All Might.

Strawberry: Who is your favorite pro-hero? Uh... Hmm.... Predictable answer: All Might. Less predictable answer: Best Jeanist, because his fucking outfit drives me nuts and I hate it so much I like it.

Banana: Which of the pro-heroes’ quirks fascinates you the most? Eh. I dunno. I guess I'm not really 'fascinated' by anyone's abilities. ^^; I just like them as whole characters.

Cherry: Should Endeavor die like right now Nah. He's important, even if we hate him. In fact, that might be part of why he's important. You can't love every 'protagonist'.

Pear: What was your reaction to Todoroki’s backstory? I... didn't have a strong reaction. I'm not a huge fan of Todoroki to begin with. I mean, I felt bad for him, of course, but I guess I wasn't surprised or anything, so it was like, "oh. huh. poor kid." I'm more interested in what happens next.

Kiwi: Should the BNHA girls get more spotlight/recognition? Of course! They're all great.

Pineapple: What do you like the most about BNHA, as a whole? Well, I guess what I like is the characters! That pretty usual, for any story I get involved in. But of course I love superheroes, so there's that! But I do also like the feeling of the whole story, how it's inspirational but also with a looming bleakness, you know?

Watermelon: Dub or Sub? Sub sub sub all the way. Gotta watch it in its original form, whatever that is. I LOVE their original Japanese voices. I accidentally heard a tiny snippet of it in English and I regret it haha.

Coconut: How do you think Hokiroshi is doing, in terms of the plot? Well I'm not caught up so it's a bit hard for me to say, but I think it's going well so far. I'm still interested.

Blueberry: What makes BNHA unique from all the other shonen animes/mangas out there? I'm not sure. I think it's in the small details. I mean, I'm not sure it really IS unique from other anime, any more than they're all unique from each other. TBH I feel like it actually take quite a few elements from other popular series and puts them together in an effective way.

...and that's the end!